All language subtitles for Scrubs - 1x08 - My Fifteen Minutes

One of the best things
about friendship with Turk

is challenging each other
to try new things

I can't believe we're
going to a strip club.

I don't think about it that way.
It's a place to buy a burger

that's a two-and-a-half mile
walk away from the hospital.

No skin! We all win!

Let's get outta here
before we end up on the news.

Are you gentlemen
visiting the club?

No, we're protesting.

I'm worried about the kids.

So what's that in your pocket?

This is... It's $38 in singles.

I bought a newspaper
and this is the change from my 40.

Neil...

Sir...

- No pulse.
- Starting CPR.

Call an ambulance!

Coming to you live as two young doctors
are trying to resuscitate my cameraman.

Well, maybe I'm biased, but to me,

every doctor here at Sacred Heart
is a hero.

Does that mean I'm a hero? I don't know.

There's my dynamic duo!

Dr Dorian! Dr Turk!

Holy inferiority complex, Batman!

How low is my self-esteem that
I'm the sidekick in my own fantasy?

It could be worse, Robin.
You could be Alfred the butler.

Damn you, sir.

Life in a hospital moves fast
One second you're a hero

the next you're obsessing
about evaluations

- Who cares? It's only a grade.
- Really? What did you get?

A-plus. I turned on the waterworks and
the resident changed it to A-plus-plus.

- A proud day for women everywhere.
- Why are you worried?

With the hero thing, whoever
evaluates you will give you a gold star.

Listen, Supergirl. I'm gonna
break you into so many pieces

that my grandmother, who can do
a 1,000-piece puzzle in an hour,

will never be able
to put you back together,

even if she goes go back in time
to when her vision was perfect.

Somehow I doubt it.

Before you deny you like looking
at strange naked women again,

I should remind you that when you stay
at my place, it's not a hotel.

The movie titles do come up on the bill.

I'm sticking with ''we were protesting.''
JD?

Outraged and disgusted.

Take Bambi out tonight. Maybe
with the hype you can get him a girl.

Who hasn't bought us drinks yet?

It could happen.

- Don't wait up for me tonight.
- OK.

Do you wanna get drunk
and beg me for sex now

or wait till two o'clock tonight?

- Let's wait.
- Cool.

You know, I'm off tonight.
What are you doing, Carla?

Just having dinner
with a friend.

Man, this is so uncomfortable

She's not gonna get the invite

Just hold your breath until it's over

You could take Elliot with you.

Great. I can't wait.

Have a good time tonight.

Lose something?

No, why? Did you take something?

- No.
- What'd you take?

Nothing.

What'd you take?

Newbie. Come.

Now I think about it, I'm psyched
to have Dr Cox do my evaluation

It'll be a chance to see
what he thinks of me

Look, Doogie,
I'm up to my cha-chas in busywork,

so I'm gonna take a rain check
on your report card

and have you do it yourself.

You didn't even fill out my name.

Well, now, I think it's John,
or Jimmy or Ji or hmm.

It's in the J family.

But if you get in trouble,
just ask the nurses for help.

Sir, I've been the hospital's
legal counsel for,

well, let's just say,
when I started, I had hair.

And a wife and family.

The point is, I'll never get a raise

without support
of senior staff like yourself.

- Can't do it.
- Well, you did what you could.

Dr Dorian, how are you?

- These evaluations...
- Just a pleasantry, keep it moving.

Listen, all the publicity you
and your friend have been getting,

it would be silly
not to milk it a little bit.

See if we can't promote the hospital,
what do you say?

OK, whose breasts
haven't I signed yet?

- It could happen.
- Excuse me?

Anything for the hospital.

- So what are we doing tonight?
- Go out to dinner, I guess.

Dinner! Where are we gonna eat?

- Don't know, some restaurant.
- Some restaurant!

Be honest...
Does this look hip enough?

Since when are khakis, a pink shirt
and a neckerchief not hip?

True.

- Hi.
- Hey, Darryl.

I have to make a quick call.
So, Patricia, Darryl, this is Elliot.

- Hi. Nice to meet you.
- Nice to meet you.

- I'm gonna get out of here.
- OK.

Thanks for the ride.

- Someone's a cradle-robber.
- Darryl's my son.

The only way he could be your son
was if you had him when you were 15.

14.

I was close.

I'm sorry, that was my mom.
I'm gonna have to cancel.

I can't evaluate myself

Would you describe me
as warm, professional, or both?

I'd describe you as ''I'm on my lunch.''

I don't know whether to
be easy or hard on myself...

Can't you see I'm watching my stories?

I can't, honey
Parker wants me to assist

Dr Cox. Have you been here
the whole time?

No, I just came in
through the couch door. Move.

You said you were too busy
to do my evaluation.

I am.

Didn't her daddy sell the coalmine?

- Contract didn't stick.
- That's interesting.

We're almost ready. Anything you
wanna say before we get started?

Yeah, I've got something to say
to Dr Cox.

I'm gonna give you the best damn
evaluation that you ever did see.

And this Friday,
at the Steel Cage Medi-Slam,

I'm gonna give you a physical
you ain't never gonna forget.

I'm gonna probe ya,
cos I'm The Intern.

Nothing. OK, I'll be right back.

She is tasty. Watch me work
a cat and mouse game with her.

She's married to the soundman.

That thing clipped to your collar,
that's a microphone.

I'm so sorry.
And I love ZZ Top.

I'm not looking forward to this.

OK, we're rolling.
So, how's my cameraman doing?

Good enough that he asked me
for mouth-to-mouth again.

Dr Turk, are there
any specific challenges

being a young black doctor
in an inner city hospital?

I wanna hear this.
Is it possible to turn up the volume?

That's as high as it goes.

Listen, let me tell you what happened.

Damn.

When I saw that it was missing,
did you not think I'd come to you?

I don't know what you're talking about.

So you're gonna play it that way, huh?

Touché.

- I finished my evaluation.
- Great.

I thought it would take longer so the
marching band won't be here until later.

Enjoy. I think you'll find
it's a good read.

Hey, Newbie.
This thing actually does matter,

so were you completely honest
with yourself?

Yeah.

Say it right into the camera, hotshot.

Now you can have this thing back
any time you want.

You're gonna have to
bark like a dog, though.

I'm not gonna bark like...

It's your call.

Woof.

Good boy.

At the very least, I'm gonna end today
on a good note

I got something to show you.

Is this an uncomfortable moment
that'll change our friendship?

No, no. You're going to like it.

Good, cos I need some good news,
man.

Can you believe that news lady?
''What's it like to be a black doctor?''

I just wish this was over.

Why have we stopped?

Roll 'em up

Why do you think
I wanna be a part of this?

Kelso said it would make us
role models. I just assumed...

Everybody assumes
that I'm a good athlete,

or that I grew up poor,
or that I love Sanford and Son

But you do love Sanford And Son

We both do.

That's what I'm talking about.

If Dr Kelso wants me to be
a role model for the community

because I'm a great doctor, great.
I will sign on the dotted line.

But that's not what this is about.

All my life I've been
singled out because I'm black.

- I didn't enter the contest!
- Smile for the picture.

- Remember our college brochure?
- They put you on the cover.

Twice?

It's different this time,
now it's both of us.

You can still see
my hand on your shoulder.

That's when I realised, I'm not gonna
let people take advantage of me

This is unfair.
You're supposed to do my evaluation.

And you know what?
You're gonna do it, buddy boy.

Buddy boy?

Why, I oughta...

- I'm serious.
- Relax, Newbie.

It's just an evaluation,
it should be easy.

If it's that easy,
it won't take you long to do it.

All right, don't worry about it, Newbie.
I'll evaluate the hell right out of you.

- When?
- The second I get off work.

- Fine!
- Fine.

Great! Here it is.

- You get off, like, six-ish, or...?
- Danger.

You're gonna have to see her eventually.

No. I know the layout to the air-duct
system like the back of my hand.

Of course I'm gonna
have to see her again.

So this is the part where
it's my fault?

Turk, if you could have seen
the look on her face...

If I think about it again,
it's gonna make me cry.

What am I gonna do?

Keep doing what you're doing.
Eventually, she'll quit and move.

- Why am I talking to you?
- What?!

You're such a guy.

You can't understand something this deep
on any real emotional level.

I'm sorry about the poster.
It was racially insensitive.

I should've been aware of your feelings.

There's never been an issue of race
between us.

You've been nothing but a friend to me.

- I love you, man.
- Hit me one.

Keep it real.

We've got some things to work out
but we'll get there.

We'll get there.

Sure, it hurt. But you know what?
I'm not gonna wallow in self pity.

Right after work, I'm gonna go downtown
and just tear it up.

Maybe I'll have a cigarette,
just get a little crazy,

and head wherever the night takes me.

What's that, now?

Thanks so much!

Taxi!

Hey, baby, how much?

Hey, don't go away, man!

Get me the hell outta here. Hurry!

Here's what we're gonna do.

I'm gonna leave the cart in the closet
and leave the closet unlocked.

lf, by magic, it should happen to
reappear, I won't ask any questions.

I don't even know what ''it'' is.

Then why take it?

Well, if it isn't Dr Turk,
the friendly face of Sacred Heart.

Yeah.

Dr Kelso, about these posters...
They're making me uncomfortable.

I'm so sorry.
I didn't realise you felt that way.

Well, here's what I'm gonna do...
I'm gonna leave them up.

I can live with that. Or I can sue you.

Dr Turk, you are an employee here.
I can advertise however I wish.

I can use your image, your name,

I can manufacture
tiny little Dr Turk action figures.

It'll cost $12.95.
When you pull the string, it says:

''I don't like these posters!''

- Isn't that right, Ted?
- Definitely, sir.

You'd certainly be vulnerable
from a legal standpoint.

How vulnerable?

That lawsuit would be over so quickly,
bring cab fare to the courthouse,

since Dr Turk will be driving
your Beamer home to his place.

Hippie.

God, that felt good.

Who's the man?

- Is it me?
- Damn right it's you.

Right, man.

It's me.

Elliot...
There's no excuse for what I did.

No, there's not.

- Are we done?
- I'm really sorry.

Don't be. If I was going out
with my friend I wouldn't invite you.

Yes, I would. She'd like you better and
neither of you would talk to me again.

I only did it because I hadn't
seen Patricia in a long time.

You did it cos I don't fit in
with you and your friend.

It's no surprise. It's not like
I've ever fit in anywhere.

Carla, your friend Patricia's here.
There's a problem with her son.

Why so sad, Marshmallow?

Stay calm
stay calm, stay calm

Oh, good. He's not here

Dr Cox?

It's time. Sit down.

What do you want me to say?
That you're great?

That you're raising the bar
for interns everywhere?

I'm cool with that.

I'm not gonna say that. You're OK.

You might be better than that some day
but now all I see is

a guy worried about
what everybody thinks of him

that he has no real belief in himself.

I mean, did you even wonder why
I told you to do your own evaluation?

I can't think of a safe answer,
I just...

Clam up!

I wanted you to think about yourself.

And I mean really think.

What are you good at? What do you
suck at? I wanted it down on paper,

not so I could see it, or anybody else,
but so that you could see it.

Ultimately, you don't have
to answer to me, or to Kelso,

you don't even have to answer
to your patients, for God's sake.

You only have to answer to
one guy, Newbie, and that's you!

There...

You are... evaluated.

Get the hell outta my sight.

You, honest to God, get me so angry
I'm afraid I might hurt myself.

So what are you?
One of the male nurses?

Actually, I'm a surgeon.
I'm doing this as a favour for Carla.

Carla is fine.
What's she doing with you?

Slummin' a little, God bless her heart.

This is a knife cut, huh?

Yeah, it's cool.

See this right here?
Pinched it in a door. Two stitches.

- Oh, man. You hardcore, man.
- Hell, yeah!

Darryl's gonna be fine
but I'm worried about you.

You're upset. I'll set you up
in a room with some fluids and a Valium.

- Elliot, thank you.
- There you are.

Elliot, you're coming, right?

- In a sec.
- Are you all right?

It's funny how our perceptions
can be so off

Hot cocoa, sweetie?

Thanks.

Anytime.

Like when you're searching
for a place to fit in

and you don't realise you've
been there the whole time

Or how posters can't turn you into a
role model if you've been one for years

Of course, in my case
I knew exactly where I stood

And it didn't feel that good

I would like to make
special mention of one intern here,

John Dorian.

Smart kid, extremely competent,
and his enthusiasm

and his determination
to always be better

is something I see in him
24 hours a day.

He cares. Probably cares too much.

But he's definitely somebody
you don't want to lose.

If you have any questions...
I could give a crap, I'm goin' home.

You all get paid too much
for doing nothing.

Oh, good, Newbie. You found a specialty.

No, I just dropped my pen.

Well, look what magically
found its way back home.

What? Your window cleaner?

No. Ammonia.

This is window cleaner, right...

Why?

Now that's just bad luck