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1
00:01:29,590 --> 00:01:31,126
Oh, bollocks.
2
00:01:35,762 --> 00:01:36,797
We've got a problem.
3
00:01:36,930 --> 00:01:39,467
A cyber attack?
Yes, prime minister.
4
00:01:39,558 --> 00:01:42,470
Took me two bottles of wine
5
00:01:42,561 --> 00:01:45,394
and half a packet of sleeping
pills to finally nod off.
6
00:01:45,522 --> 00:01:50,016
And you wake me because
some fat-fingered hacker's
pinched your pin number?
7
00:01:50,319 --> 00:01:51,921
Well, it's a little
more serious than that,
prime minister.
8
00:01:51,945 --> 00:01:53,856
Hmm?
The identities of every one
9
00:01:53,947 --> 00:01:55,938
of our serving agents
have been exposed.
10
00:01:56,950 --> 00:01:57,985
What?
11
00:01:58,118 --> 00:02:00,109
Who's doing this?
We're not sure, ma'am.
12
00:02:00,245 --> 00:02:03,032
So one week before I host
my first g12 summit,
13
00:02:03,123 --> 00:02:05,330
britain's entire
security apparatus
has been taken down
14
00:02:05,459 --> 00:02:06,824
and you know absolutely nothing?
15
00:02:06,918 --> 00:02:09,660
That does pretty much sums up
the situation, ma'am, yes.
16
00:02:09,796 --> 00:02:11,733
Well, you better
get someone on it
and find me some answers!
17
00:02:11,757 --> 00:02:14,027
Yes, but that's the problem.
We don't have any agents left.
18
00:02:14,051 --> 00:02:15,086
They've all been outed.
19
00:02:15,344 --> 00:02:17,585
So bring back an old one!
20
00:02:31,401 --> 00:02:35,485
All units, this is
Juliet echo. Stand by
for target coordinates.
21
00:02:37,991 --> 00:02:41,984
Target acquired.
Repeat, target acquired.
22
00:03:00,013 --> 00:03:02,800
Now then, what have we here?
23
00:03:05,102 --> 00:03:06,217
Sorry, sir.
24
00:03:06,395 --> 00:03:07,976
Never mind, baggaley.
25
00:03:08,063 --> 00:03:11,100
Your concealment
and camouflage work
is definitely improving.
26
00:03:11,233 --> 00:03:12,313
Thank you, sir.
27
00:03:12,526 --> 00:03:13,526
Come on.
28
00:03:13,610 --> 00:03:15,521
You, too, ibadulla.
29
00:03:15,654 --> 00:03:18,817
Excellent. That is
a first-class man-trap.
30
00:03:19,533 --> 00:03:21,364
Six house points.
Yes!
31
00:03:23,120 --> 00:03:25,327
Right, let's get back
to school before matron
32
00:03:25,414 --> 00:03:26,654
notices you're missing.
33
00:03:26,873 --> 00:03:29,410
And don't worry, there aren't
any more booby traps.
34
00:03:32,254 --> 00:03:34,586
Apart from this one, of course.
35
00:03:49,730 --> 00:03:50,810
Mr. English?
36
00:03:51,106 --> 00:03:52,596
We haven't seen him, sir.
37
00:03:53,066 --> 00:03:54,181
Huh.
38
00:03:55,402 --> 00:03:58,235
And that's camouflage.
39
00:04:00,991 --> 00:04:02,151
Hmm.
40
00:04:06,496 --> 00:04:07,496
And go.
41
00:04:08,582 --> 00:04:09,662
And go.
42
00:04:10,500 --> 00:04:11,865
And go.
43
00:04:12,085 --> 00:04:14,997
The welfare of your children
is our Paramount concern.
44
00:04:15,380 --> 00:04:17,371
They're never exposed
to any unnecessary risk,
45
00:04:17,466 --> 00:04:18,876
I assure you.
46
00:04:29,770 --> 00:04:33,888
I think that's an "f"
for your bomb disposal
coursework, hattersley.
47
00:04:34,357 --> 00:04:37,019
"You're looking particularly
beautiful tonight."
48
00:04:37,152 --> 00:04:40,565
You're looking
particularly beautiful
tonight.
49
00:04:40,864 --> 00:04:41,864
"Ching!"
50
00:04:42,199 --> 00:04:43,439
Ching!
51
00:04:45,535 --> 00:04:48,072
Have a good half-term, sir!
Thank you.
52
00:05:41,049 --> 00:05:43,290
Are you seriously telling me
this is all we've got?
53
00:05:43,426 --> 00:05:44,757
Most of them are either dead,
54
00:05:44,845 --> 00:05:47,678
having hip operations
or recovering from
prostate surgery.
55
00:05:49,766 --> 00:05:50,766
Okay.
56
00:05:51,393 --> 00:05:55,136
Before your briefing,
we'll need you to re-sign
the official secrets act.
57
00:05:55,272 --> 00:05:56,432
Thank you.
58
00:05:56,815 --> 00:05:57,850
Thank you.
59
00:05:57,941 --> 00:05:58,941
Thank you.
60
00:05:59,442 --> 00:06:00,932
Thank you very much.
61
00:06:01,361 --> 00:06:03,602
Any of you gentlemen
remember this?
62
00:06:04,072 --> 00:06:07,610
Ooh, the mont blanc blaster.
Haven't seen
one of those for years.
63
00:06:07,868 --> 00:06:12,532
Take the cap off and,
if memory serves, you've
20 seconds to replace it
64
00:06:12,664 --> 00:06:15,497
or it detonates with the force
of a stun grenade.
65
00:06:35,979 --> 00:06:37,310
Thank you.
66
00:06:39,983 --> 00:06:42,349
Teas on the left, gentlemen.
67
00:06:42,485 --> 00:06:44,441
And coffees on the right.
68
00:06:44,738 --> 00:06:45,944
Excellent.
69
00:06:46,072 --> 00:06:49,030
Oh, damn it, I forgot my pills.
70
00:06:49,200 --> 00:06:51,316
Here, have some of mine.
71
00:06:52,913 --> 00:06:54,995
Scotch whisky, single malt?
72
00:06:55,123 --> 00:06:56,954
Thank you very much.
73
00:06:57,167 --> 00:06:59,158
Coffee.
Oh.
74
00:06:59,252 --> 00:07:01,493
Here, let me help you with that.
75
00:07:06,801 --> 00:07:07,881
Tea?
76
00:07:13,350 --> 00:07:16,137
Ooh, this one just needs
a little top-up of hot water.
77
00:07:16,770 --> 00:07:18,226
I'll be right back.
78
00:07:20,106 --> 00:07:22,347
Man's a divot
of the first order.
79
00:07:22,442 --> 00:07:24,774
Someone should put him
out of his misery.
80
00:07:24,903 --> 00:07:27,940
Along with whoever
furnished this room.
81
00:07:34,037 --> 00:07:35,197
Ohl
82
00:07:37,499 --> 00:07:39,490
ah, good morning.
Sorry to keep you.
83
00:07:41,461 --> 00:07:43,201
Are the others here?
84
00:07:43,505 --> 00:07:44,745
Um...
85
00:07:45,840 --> 00:07:47,000
Oh.
86
00:07:51,304 --> 00:07:54,717
They, um... they nodded off.
87
00:07:55,266 --> 00:07:56,266
Right...
88
00:07:57,519 --> 00:07:58,804
And who are you exactly?
89
00:07:59,312 --> 00:08:00,392
English.
90
00:08:01,356 --> 00:08:03,062
- Johnny English.
- Well...
91
00:08:04,526 --> 00:08:06,016
"English..."
92
00:08:07,362 --> 00:08:08,818
You'll leave immediately.
93
00:08:08,905 --> 00:08:10,987
My people will give you
the full briefing en route.
94
00:08:11,074 --> 00:08:12,405
Oh, is there anything you need?
95
00:08:12,492 --> 00:08:16,201
Yes, nerve gas nasal spray,
a type-four exoskeleton...
96
00:08:16,329 --> 00:08:18,240
You should probably
start a list.
97
00:08:18,373 --> 00:08:21,786
And a garroting watch,
with a rubber strap,
not the steel bracelet
98
00:08:21,918 --> 00:08:25,251
because the links get caught
in the little hairs
on my wrist.
99
00:08:25,588 --> 00:08:27,670
Oh, and I'll also need a bough.
100
00:08:28,216 --> 00:08:29,706
What's a bough?
101
00:08:31,094 --> 00:08:32,094
Sir!
102
00:08:34,180 --> 00:08:36,011
Wonderful to see you!
103
00:08:37,225 --> 00:08:39,932
Yes, all right, bough.
We're going on a mission,
not a honeymoon.
104
00:08:40,186 --> 00:08:41,767
Yes, of course, sir.
105
00:08:42,397 --> 00:08:45,434
Ah. I think it's the pin
of your buckle, sir.
It's caught on my jumper.
106
00:08:45,525 --> 00:08:46,877
Yes, I can see
what's wrong, bough.
107
00:08:46,901 --> 00:08:50,064
If you go to your left
and I'll go to my right.
108
00:08:51,448 --> 00:08:54,690
I'm sorry, no, if you go
to your right
and I'll go to my left.
109
00:08:56,745 --> 00:09:00,283
No. If I go clockwise
and you go anti-clockwise...
110
00:09:01,249 --> 00:09:02,810
Er, no, I think that's
making it worse, sir.
111
00:09:02,834 --> 00:09:05,246
Hmm. I'm surprised
that didn't work.
112
00:09:10,508 --> 00:09:13,671
Good morning, sir. I have your
agent activation pack here.
113
00:09:14,220 --> 00:09:15,881
Department-issue smartphone.
114
00:09:15,972 --> 00:09:20,261
580-megapixel camera,
4.7-inch retina hd display.
115
00:09:20,351 --> 00:09:25,345
Hmm-hmm. Ingenious. And what
does it shoot? Poison darts?
116
00:09:25,982 --> 00:09:29,691
It doesn't shoot anything.
It's a phone.
117
00:09:30,278 --> 00:09:32,189
There's a Twitter handle,
instagram feed
118
00:09:32,280 --> 00:09:34,271
and secure login
for the department
uber account.
119
00:09:34,365 --> 00:09:35,405
What's he on about, bough?
120
00:09:35,450 --> 00:09:37,566
I need a weapon.
Not a box of gobbledygook.
121
00:09:37,786 --> 00:09:40,118
I think, uh, what agent English
122
00:09:40,205 --> 00:09:42,491
is getting at, sir, is all
this is highly trackable.
123
00:09:42,791 --> 00:09:46,158
But since we're dealing
with a very sophisticated,
digital target,
124
00:09:46,252 --> 00:09:50,837
we might be less visible
if we took a more analog,
low-tech approach.
125
00:09:52,509 --> 00:09:53,589
Exactly.
126
00:09:55,011 --> 00:09:56,342
I see.
127
00:09:56,888 --> 00:09:58,674
Is there anything else
I can get you?
128
00:09:59,099 --> 00:10:00,430
A gun.
129
00:10:01,976 --> 00:10:06,140
We don't really do guns anymore.
130
00:10:06,523 --> 00:10:08,104
Just get him a gun.
131
00:10:08,525 --> 00:10:09,810
Right, a gun.
132
00:10:16,449 --> 00:10:19,532
Right. Haven't actually done
one of these before.
133
00:10:20,703 --> 00:10:22,819
"It is my obligation
under section 14
134
00:10:22,914 --> 00:10:24,767
"of the health and safety
directive to inform you
135
00:10:24,791 --> 00:10:27,453
"that the equipment with which
you are about to be issued
136
00:10:27,544 --> 00:10:29,455
‘can cause injury
and bodily harm.
137
00:10:33,383 --> 00:10:35,999
"Furthermore, any agents
with nut allergies
138
00:10:36,094 --> 00:10:37,279
"should be aware
that traces of cashew oil..."
139
00:10:37,303 --> 00:10:38,634
Thank you.
140
00:10:41,266 --> 00:10:42,676
Right, transport.
141
00:10:46,479 --> 00:10:48,515
So, take any hybrid you want.
142
00:11:04,414 --> 00:11:05,654
I'll take this one.
143
00:11:05,915 --> 00:11:08,952
Oh, don't be ridiculous,
English. This car is a relic.
144
00:11:09,043 --> 00:11:11,830
Drinks petrol, leaks oll
and has no passive,
145
00:11:11,921 --> 00:11:13,582
let alone
active safety features.
146
00:11:13,798 --> 00:11:15,276
Do you know what else
it doesn't have, sir?
147
00:11:15,300 --> 00:11:18,042
Satellite navigation
or a single computer chip.
148
00:11:18,136 --> 00:11:21,378
Making it completely invisible
to a digital enemy.
149
00:11:23,391 --> 00:11:25,473
The equipment
agent English requested, sir.
150
00:11:25,560 --> 00:11:26,766
Thank you.
151
00:11:27,896 --> 00:11:29,682
Phone, bough?
Yeah.
152
00:11:32,859 --> 00:11:36,067
That hi-tech villain of yours
will never see us coming.
153
00:11:53,588 --> 00:11:55,419
Let's see what they've given us.
154
00:11:56,132 --> 00:12:00,842
Exoskeleton,
exploding cotton buds,
the old shoebox inflatable.
155
00:12:00,929 --> 00:12:02,135
Hmm.
156
00:12:03,097 --> 00:12:07,466
Ooh, what are these?
Instant release super high
energy pills.
157
00:12:07,685 --> 00:12:11,803
Like sticking your fingers
in an electric socket.
Highly recommended.
158
00:12:12,732 --> 00:12:15,849
Right, so, the red ones
must be the total knockout
sleeping pills.
159
00:12:15,985 --> 00:12:17,065
Correct.
160
00:12:17,153 --> 00:12:19,439
Hmm. Probably worth
labeling these.
161
00:12:19,530 --> 00:12:20,565
Oh.
162
00:12:20,657 --> 00:12:23,069
Look, sir. Sweeties.
163
00:12:24,077 --> 00:12:25,157
Ooh.
164
00:12:25,703 --> 00:12:27,443
Hang on a minute.
165
00:12:27,580 --> 00:12:29,411
I always did love a jelly baby.
166
00:12:29,499 --> 00:12:32,582
I wouldn't if I was you,
bough. "Jelly" is short
for gelignite.
167
00:12:32,669 --> 00:12:34,438
One bite and it'll take
the top of your head off
168
00:12:34,462 --> 00:12:36,123
along with the roof of the car.
169
00:12:36,714 --> 00:12:38,454
So, what does this do?
170
00:12:39,717 --> 00:12:41,582
It's a mixtape, bough.
171
00:12:46,015 --> 00:12:48,677
- So, destination?
- South of France, sir.
172
00:12:48,768 --> 00:12:50,759
That cyber attack
seems to have been launched
173
00:12:50,853 --> 00:12:53,310
from the Wi-Fi signal
of a hotel in antibes.
174
00:13:38,067 --> 00:13:41,355
Sir? Sir, I've just had
a fax through from hq.
175
00:13:41,779 --> 00:13:44,896
Background checks on all
the guests that accessed
the Wi-Fi network.
176
00:13:44,991 --> 00:13:47,107
You see? Who needs email?
177
00:13:52,874 --> 00:13:54,114
Um...
178
00:13:54,208 --> 00:13:56,540
One name has raised
a red flag, sir.
179
00:13:57,337 --> 00:14:00,249
Sebastian lynch, ex-army
and military intelligence.
180
00:14:00,506 --> 00:14:03,339
Now selling his services
to the highest bidder.
181
00:14:03,634 --> 00:14:06,296
Where do we find him?
Directly ahead, sir.
182
00:14:07,972 --> 00:14:11,180
He's got an 8:00 reservation
at the cote de roc restaurant.
183
00:14:21,778 --> 00:14:24,986
The problem's going to
be getting close enough for
a full surveillance, sir.
184
00:14:25,239 --> 00:14:27,150
Not necessarily.
185
00:14:43,966 --> 00:14:47,049
Oh, darling, I've just gotta
get this. Two seconds.
186
00:14:47,637 --> 00:14:51,971
Simple plan, two parts.
You provide the distraction,
I'll get the phone.
187
00:14:52,058 --> 00:14:54,390
Yes, sir.
And from now on,
188
00:14:54,769 --> 00:14:59,729
perhaps we should sound
like French waiters.
189
00:15:01,401 --> 00:15:03,266
French waiters?
190
00:15:04,153 --> 00:15:05,393
Yees.
191
00:15:06,948 --> 00:15:08,108
Go on.
192
00:15:13,871 --> 00:15:15,907
Are you finished now, Sebastian?
193
00:15:17,208 --> 00:15:18,698
Bread roll?
194
00:15:18,960 --> 00:15:20,040
Yes, thank you.
195
00:15:20,420 --> 00:15:22,376
Excellent choice, madame.
196
00:15:23,840 --> 00:15:25,250
Good evening.
197
00:15:25,842 --> 00:15:27,423
How are you?
198
00:15:29,220 --> 00:15:30,710
Bread roll, sir?
199
00:15:30,847 --> 00:15:32,257
Yes. Thank you.
200
00:15:37,270 --> 00:15:38,555
One second.
201
00:15:38,855 --> 00:15:40,766
Excuse me, would you mind?
202
00:15:41,607 --> 00:15:43,814
Oh, yes. Evening.
203
00:15:44,402 --> 00:15:45,482
Evening.
204
00:15:59,834 --> 00:16:01,165
Thank you.
205
00:16:15,433 --> 00:16:16,593
Where's my phone?
206
00:16:18,269 --> 00:16:19,634
That is your phone.
207
00:16:21,731 --> 00:16:23,562
Ooh.
208
00:16:28,237 --> 00:16:29,237
Thank you.
209
00:16:30,531 --> 00:16:31,566
Monsieur.
210
00:16:32,742 --> 00:16:36,030
The, uh, shell on
my wife's lobster,
could you remove it, please?
211
00:16:38,247 --> 00:16:39,407
Yees.
212
00:16:40,208 --> 00:16:42,119
Uh... um...
213
00:16:42,376 --> 00:16:43,536
Hmm.
214
00:16:47,548 --> 00:16:49,834
Let me crack it for you.
215
00:17:03,689 --> 00:17:05,020
Ow!
Oh!
216
00:17:05,816 --> 00:17:06,976
Owl
217
00:17:38,432 --> 00:17:39,592
hello?
218
00:17:42,687 --> 00:17:44,973
Steve,
I'll have to call you back.
Call you back.
219
00:17:47,233 --> 00:17:48,473
Give me a sec. Hang on.
220
00:17:49,902 --> 00:17:51,438
What is going on?
221
00:17:54,949 --> 00:17:56,985
Sebastian, don't get involved.
222
00:18:00,329 --> 00:18:01,660
Ah.
223
00:18:05,876 --> 00:18:08,333
What is he doing?
I don't know.
He's a fool.
224
00:18:09,422 --> 00:18:11,003
There we are.
225
00:18:13,259 --> 00:18:14,465
Voila.
226
00:18:21,851 --> 00:18:24,092
Hmm. Bon appétit.
227
00:18:27,231 --> 00:18:30,348
I will talk to the manager.
I will talk to the manager.
228
00:18:39,535 --> 00:18:41,617
Textbook, bough.
229
00:18:46,083 --> 00:18:47,914
Just holiday snaps, sir.
230
00:18:49,128 --> 00:18:51,039
Wait a minute, this photo.
231
00:18:51,297 --> 00:18:55,131
It was taken the same day
our villain accessed
the Wi-Fi, and look.
232
00:18:59,555 --> 00:19:00,920
Whoever was on that yacht
233
00:19:01,015 --> 00:19:03,757
could easily have used
the hotel's Wi-Fi,
234
00:19:03,851 --> 00:19:07,014
sent that signal
and then just sailed away.
235
00:19:07,563 --> 00:19:12,227
I think it's time
we paid the dot calm a visit.
236
00:19:24,955 --> 00:19:25,955
Algorithms.
237
00:19:26,040 --> 00:19:28,247
We are surrounded by them.
238
00:19:28,334 --> 00:19:30,495
Algorithms run our lives,
239
00:19:30,586 --> 00:19:35,046
choose our TV shows,
stream our music.
Even find us a date.
240
00:19:37,093 --> 00:19:38,833
I know this chap, don't I?
241
00:19:38,969 --> 00:19:42,211
Yes, he's that silicon valley
billionaire who dated
a Kardashian.
242
00:19:42,306 --> 00:19:45,013
Two Kardashians
and a black-eyed pea.
Keep watching.
243
00:19:45,184 --> 00:19:48,426
But supposing there was
an algorithm
for an entire country.
244
00:19:48,521 --> 00:19:52,105
A single algorithm that could
be applied to every one
of its problems.
245
00:19:52,358 --> 00:19:56,522
A single algorithm that could
take a second-rate nation
and make it
246
00:19:57,071 --> 00:19:58,936
world class.
247
00:20:00,282 --> 00:20:02,694
Every nation is awash with data.
248
00:20:03,411 --> 00:20:08,030
So now, more than ever,
we need to put that data
to work for the people.
249
00:20:08,541 --> 00:20:11,408
These few lines of code
will deliver
the kind of change
250
00:20:11,544 --> 00:20:14,286
they have been dreaming of
their entire lives.
251
00:20:14,422 --> 00:20:17,459
I am Xander. I love data.
252
00:20:20,678 --> 00:20:22,418
He's so clever.
253
00:20:22,555 --> 00:20:25,467
He's young, he's sexy,
he's insanely successful.
254
00:20:25,599 --> 00:20:28,557
Just the qualities we need
people to associate with me.
255
00:20:29,895 --> 00:20:30,930
Yes, prime minister.
256
00:20:31,063 --> 00:20:33,554
And they will do
when he starts
working with us.
257
00:20:33,691 --> 00:20:36,273
But why would a silicon valley
billionaire work with us?
258
00:20:36,402 --> 00:20:39,109
Just get him into number 10
and let me work on him.
259
00:20:39,196 --> 00:20:40,606
Yes, ma'am.
Go on.
260
00:20:43,534 --> 00:20:44,774
Oh, god, now what?
261
00:20:45,327 --> 00:20:46,888
There's been another attack,
prime minister.
262
00:20:46,912 --> 00:20:48,243
Oh!
Air traffic control.
263
00:20:48,914 --> 00:20:51,781
Someone's rerouted
every flight
in Europe to luton.
264
00:20:51,917 --> 00:20:54,104
For god's sake, tell me the
agent you've got in the field
265
00:20:54,128 --> 00:20:55,834
is making some progress?
266
00:21:05,306 --> 00:21:08,298
So, how are we gonna
find the location
of that yacht, sir?
267
00:21:08,434 --> 00:21:11,767
Very easily, bough.
We ring mi7.
268
00:21:16,025 --> 00:21:19,358
Hello, hello?
Yes, I need the location
of a boat called...
269
00:21:23,657 --> 00:21:26,820
Hello? Hello, yes.
A boat called the dot calm.
270
00:21:27,536 --> 00:21:29,697
Yes, it's a play
on words. Yeah.
271
00:21:30,039 --> 00:21:31,039
Where?
272
00:21:37,880 --> 00:21:39,711
Looks about
half a mile out, sir.
273
00:21:40,758 --> 00:21:42,999
Do we wanna try
and swim it or...
274
00:21:43,135 --> 00:21:46,548
No, bough.
This is a job for
the shoebox inflatable.
275
00:21:46,680 --> 00:21:48,295
No, don't open it
in the car, sir!
276
00:21:54,814 --> 00:21:57,806
Can you reach your door handle?
277
00:22:00,236 --> 00:22:01,817
No, sir.
278
00:22:02,321 --> 00:22:04,653
I'll try my side.
279
00:22:22,049 --> 00:22:26,042
Right, bough, our aim is
to get on board
without anyone noticing.
280
00:22:26,595 --> 00:22:28,256
And how are we gonna do it?
281
00:22:28,472 --> 00:22:30,838
Magnetic boots.
Brilliant, sir.
282
00:22:31,725 --> 00:22:33,135
Simple mechanism.
283
00:22:33,269 --> 00:22:36,386
Left switch activates
left boot. Right switch
activates right.
284
00:22:37,106 --> 00:22:38,937
Okay, let's go.
285
00:22:53,831 --> 00:22:59,326
Remember, the absolutely
vital element of this mission
is surprise.
286
00:23:21,025 --> 00:23:22,878
Now, you have to get up
pretty early in the morning
287
00:23:22,902 --> 00:23:25,018
to outwit British intelligence.
288
00:23:31,201 --> 00:23:32,281
Quick!
289
00:23:39,460 --> 00:23:41,291
Good evening, gentlemen.
290
00:23:42,588 --> 00:23:44,579
Shall we start with your names?
291
00:23:45,716 --> 00:23:48,674
Clearly you have no idea
who you're dealing with.
292
00:23:49,678 --> 00:23:52,010
That's why I'm starting
with your names.
293
00:23:52,556 --> 00:23:54,421
Actually, would you mind
coming down here?
294
00:23:54,558 --> 00:23:57,220
It's really hard to have
a conversation like this.
295
00:23:58,604 --> 00:24:00,265
I have a better idea.
296
00:24:07,947 --> 00:24:09,653
It's no good,
it won't move, sir.
297
00:24:10,449 --> 00:24:12,360
We'll see about that.
298
00:24:12,493 --> 00:24:14,825
Low-intensity
exploding cotton bud.
299
00:24:18,666 --> 00:24:21,203
That's quite a powerful charge
for such a small space, sir.
300
00:24:21,293 --> 00:24:22,703
Oh, nonsense.
301
00:24:24,964 --> 00:24:27,125
There will just be a slight pop.
302
00:24:35,140 --> 00:24:38,052
Shall we locate
the hold and look for
the source of that signal?
303
00:24:38,143 --> 00:24:42,136
I think we should
locate the hold and look for
the source of that signal!
304
00:24:45,484 --> 00:24:46,644
Come on!
305
00:24:58,539 --> 00:25:01,030
I'd say we have
our villain, bough!
306
00:25:01,166 --> 00:25:03,327
You need to keep
your voice down, sir.
307
00:25:04,211 --> 00:25:06,202
And we're not going to lose him.
308
00:25:19,727 --> 00:25:21,968
Hand me the sherbet fountain.
309
00:25:24,481 --> 00:25:27,473
Three sucks and the location
transmitter is activated.
310
00:25:27,568 --> 00:25:31,356
This gin palace will show up
as a hostile from 30,000 feet.
311
00:25:31,905 --> 00:25:32,940
Hmm.
312
00:25:39,830 --> 00:25:42,663
This is now an enemy target.
313
00:25:48,088 --> 00:25:49,749
Aniseed balls.
314
00:26:04,855 --> 00:26:08,097
If you'd wanted to kill me,
you would have
already done so.
315
00:26:11,528 --> 00:26:13,359
Till we meet again.
316
00:26:21,497 --> 00:26:22,657
Owl
317
00:26:27,252 --> 00:26:29,538
well, that was sooner
than I expected.
318
00:26:33,383 --> 00:26:36,466
Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow.
319
00:26:40,015 --> 00:26:41,880
Who do you think she is, sir?
320
00:26:41,975 --> 00:26:44,637
Well, if she's not
the owner of that yacht,
321
00:26:44,728 --> 00:26:46,184
then she knows who is.
322
00:26:47,314 --> 00:26:49,805
Either way, she's the key
to this case.
323
00:26:52,152 --> 00:26:55,189
Is it true you were teaching,
sir? Before all this blew up?
324
00:26:56,490 --> 00:26:58,731
If by "teaching" you mean
325
00:26:58,867 --> 00:27:03,827
scouting for potential
intelligence operatives
then yes, I was.
326
00:27:03,914 --> 00:27:04,994
Hmm.
327
00:27:05,082 --> 00:27:09,746
I actually got married, sir.
I don't know if you heard.
328
00:27:11,338 --> 00:27:12,338
No.
329
00:27:13,006 --> 00:27:14,337
Hmm.
330
00:27:14,550 --> 00:27:16,131
Yeah, Lydia.
331
00:27:16,218 --> 00:27:17,253
Lovely girl.
332
00:27:21,014 --> 00:27:23,676
You never think about getting
hitched yourself, sir?
333
00:27:24,935 --> 00:27:29,429
This is no life for a married
man, bough. The danger,
the constant travel.
334
00:27:29,523 --> 00:27:30,603
Here you go, sir.
335
00:27:30,691 --> 00:27:32,682
More Lydia's life
than mine, sir.
336
00:27:34,153 --> 00:27:35,438
She's in the Navy, you see.
337
00:27:36,405 --> 00:27:37,565
What, as a cook?
338
00:27:38,407 --> 00:27:41,615
Or some kind of seagoing
secretary or...
339
00:27:41,702 --> 00:27:44,569
Oh, no, sir. She's the captain
of a nuclear submarine.
340
00:27:45,914 --> 00:27:47,245
Oh, right.
Hmm.
341
00:27:49,668 --> 00:27:52,410
Do you think
we should get some petrol
for the Aston, sir?
342
00:27:53,881 --> 00:27:58,124
No. An Aston Martin
is surprisingly economical,
bough.
343
00:28:00,179 --> 00:28:03,171
Besides, it looks like
we're in business.
344
00:28:17,237 --> 00:28:18,397
Come on.
345
00:28:25,621 --> 00:28:27,577
Looks like an electric car, sir.
346
00:28:27,664 --> 00:28:30,121
Yes, and sounds like
a nose hair trimmer.
347
00:28:32,252 --> 00:28:33,833
A bunch
of triple-a batteries
348
00:28:33,921 --> 00:28:36,537
is no match
for old-fashioned
British horsepower.
349
00:28:58,070 --> 00:29:01,437
Look at her cornering.
Seems so effortless,
doesn't it, sir?
350
00:29:42,489 --> 00:29:43,604
The what?
351
00:29:43,699 --> 00:29:45,940
The missile, bough,
the one with
the tear gas warhead.
352
00:29:46,034 --> 00:29:48,571
But they're just
cyclists, sir. We'll get
past in a minute.
353
00:29:48,662 --> 00:29:49,902
They're French cyclists, bough,
354
00:29:49,955 --> 00:29:52,662
and they're obstructing
her majesty's secret service.
355
00:30:00,507 --> 00:30:01,838
Wiper stalk is armed, sir.
356
00:30:11,143 --> 00:30:12,143
Sorry.
357
00:30:12,602 --> 00:30:14,888
Terribly sorry.
We do apologize.
358
00:30:15,022 --> 00:30:17,183
Stop it, bough,
you'll only encourage them.
359
00:30:32,706 --> 00:30:35,368
What are we gonna do now, sir?
Patience, bough.
360
00:30:35,917 --> 00:30:38,829
Driving like that, her battery
will be dead any moment.
361
00:30:38,962 --> 00:30:42,204
And she'll roll
to a humiliating stop.
362
00:31:01,485 --> 00:31:05,069
Bough, it is your job
to keep an eye
on the fuel Gauge.
363
00:31:12,746 --> 00:31:14,907
Very impressive driving, Mr...
364
00:31:16,625 --> 00:31:17,705
Golightly.
365
00:31:18,752 --> 00:31:20,868
Basil golightly.
366
00:31:23,256 --> 00:31:25,872
And you're rather useful
yourself, miss...
367
00:31:26,551 --> 00:31:29,588
Bhuletova. Ophelia bhuletova.
368
00:31:29,763 --> 00:31:31,003
Hmm.
369
00:31:31,098 --> 00:31:32,838
And this is...
370
00:31:33,225 --> 00:31:34,225
Colin.
371
00:31:35,852 --> 00:31:38,013
I thought we were
using fake names.
372
00:31:38,939 --> 00:31:40,679
That is a fake name.
373
00:31:43,527 --> 00:31:44,858
Oh, right.
374
00:31:46,863 --> 00:31:48,728
Yes, this is Colin,
375
00:31:49,991 --> 00:31:51,106
and I'm...
376
00:31:55,288 --> 00:31:56,403
"Dasil."
377
00:31:56,873 --> 00:31:57,873
Dasil.
378
00:31:58,291 --> 00:31:59,291
Basil.
379
00:32:00,544 --> 00:32:02,751
Well, basil,
380
00:32:03,380 --> 00:32:05,060
maybe there is a simpler way
of doing this.
381
00:32:05,757 --> 00:32:07,167
Over a drink perhaps?
382
00:32:07,259 --> 00:32:09,625
Well, that would be lovely.
383
00:32:09,719 --> 00:32:14,383
Shall we say the bar
at the hotel de Paris in
cagnes-sur-mer? 8:00?
384
00:32:14,474 --> 00:32:16,556
Mmm. It's a date.
385
00:32:21,940 --> 00:32:22,940
Well,
386
00:32:23,525 --> 00:32:27,689
I think
my "running out of fuel"
ruse worked pretty well.
387
00:32:28,113 --> 00:32:29,319
Mmm.
388
00:32:33,076 --> 00:32:34,156
What?
389
00:32:34,327 --> 00:32:36,727
Er, junior doctors.
They've confirmed
they are going on strike
390
00:32:36,788 --> 00:32:38,628
and the tube drivers
are coming out in support.
391
00:32:38,665 --> 00:32:41,561
Oh, god. Leader of the
opposition, has he come round
from his heart surgery?
392
00:32:41,585 --> 00:32:42,620
Yes, prime minister.
393
00:32:42,711 --> 00:32:45,828
Oh, Jesus Christ, when will
something go right for me?
What do you want?
394
00:32:46,631 --> 00:32:48,667
They've hit us again,
prime minister.
395
00:32:49,217 --> 00:32:51,708
Huh?
Hacked into the central
traffic control system.
396
00:32:52,012 --> 00:32:55,425
Yes, they've turned every
traffic light in London
to red.
397
00:32:58,059 --> 00:32:59,674
Where's my bloody drink?
398
00:33:00,437 --> 00:33:02,803
You've got to be joking?
Vodka tonic, no ice, no tonic.
399
00:33:02,898 --> 00:33:05,435
Yes, ma'am.
Oh, and Mr. volta
has arrived, ma'am.
400
00:33:09,946 --> 00:33:12,562
Mr. volta,
welcome to downing street.
401
00:33:12,699 --> 00:33:15,782
I have read so much
about this wonderful building.
402
00:33:15,911 --> 00:33:19,403
Is this
the stone triple staircase
designed by William Kent?
403
00:33:19,539 --> 00:33:22,702
Um, yes, it probably is.
I can't swear to it.
404
00:33:22,834 --> 00:33:25,371
- Can we do a quick...
- Needs Photoshop.
405
00:33:25,462 --> 00:33:27,953
Oh!
This way. Hmm.
406
00:33:28,089 --> 00:33:29,875
I am horribly late,
I do apologize.
407
00:33:30,008 --> 00:33:32,795
It's the traffic,
it's the one thing
I don't love about London.
408
00:33:32,928 --> 00:33:35,340
Yes, well, I must admit
we are having a slight problem
409
00:33:35,430 --> 00:33:37,341
with the lights at the moment.
Nothing major.
410
00:33:37,474 --> 00:33:40,466
If you wanted, I could take a
look? It is kind of what I do.
411
00:33:40,560 --> 00:33:43,176
I think it's actually a little
bit more complex than...
412
00:33:43,313 --> 00:33:46,680
Xander, get a web address
for London's traffic
control center.
413
00:33:47,359 --> 00:33:51,068
Here is
the login page, Jason.
Do you have a password?
414
00:33:53,532 --> 00:33:54,692
Um...
415
00:33:57,827 --> 00:34:00,660
I won't tell if you won't.
Right you are.
416
00:34:01,957 --> 00:34:05,575
Bypassing security.
Security bypassed.
417
00:34:05,669 --> 00:34:06,669
Oh, that's terrific.
418
00:34:08,046 --> 00:34:11,209
Someone is hacking you.
Oh, I don't think so.
419
00:34:11,550 --> 00:34:15,384
Denied service attack.
Yeah, primitive but effective.
420
00:34:16,513 --> 00:34:19,880
You know what we could try,
rerouting all service requests
421
00:34:19,975 --> 00:34:22,091
to our server farm in Nevada.
422
00:34:23,103 --> 00:34:24,388
Um...
I.
423
00:34:25,647 --> 00:34:27,387
Rerouting, Jason.
424
00:34:27,482 --> 00:34:29,222
Rerouting complete.
425
00:34:33,530 --> 00:34:35,270
Crikey.
426
00:34:36,908 --> 00:34:39,900
So, what was it you wanted
to talk to me about?
427
00:34:40,245 --> 00:34:42,361
You, Jason.
428
00:34:43,540 --> 00:34:44,871
Get out.
429
00:34:45,000 --> 00:34:46,536
I want to talk about you.
430
00:35:01,016 --> 00:35:03,883
Excellent, bough.
Nearly there.
431
00:35:04,769 --> 00:35:06,225
Nearly there.
432
00:35:06,354 --> 00:35:09,346
This is actually
a really nice hotel, bough.
433
00:35:10,108 --> 00:35:12,975
I'm turning to the right.
434
00:35:25,999 --> 00:35:29,958
Shall one of us keep miss
bhuletova busy while the other
searches her room, sir?
435
00:35:30,170 --> 00:35:34,163
Good idea, bough.
Alert me if you find anything.
436
00:35:56,321 --> 00:35:57,481
Mr. golightly.
437
00:36:00,492 --> 00:36:01,492
Oh...
438
00:36:02,160 --> 00:36:03,195
Indeed.
439
00:36:04,204 --> 00:36:07,287
I thought perhaps
you weren't coming.
On the contrary.
440
00:36:07,457 --> 00:36:10,073
Wild horses couldn't
keep me away.
441
00:36:10,835 --> 00:36:11,950
Madame? Monsieur?
442
00:36:12,504 --> 00:36:14,415
Evening. What would you like?
443
00:36:15,131 --> 00:36:18,749
I'm feeling a little homesick
tonight. I'll have
a Moscow mule.
444
00:36:22,305 --> 00:36:24,637
And I'll have a London...
445
00:36:24,974 --> 00:36:26,965
Lemming, please.
446
00:36:28,520 --> 00:36:30,351
I'm not sure, what...
447
00:36:31,648 --> 00:36:34,981
It's, uh, gin, vodka,
448
00:36:36,444 --> 00:36:37,775
darmagnac,
449
00:36:38,530 --> 00:36:39,815
Sherry,
450
00:36:40,490 --> 00:36:42,981
with just a little bit
of parmesan.
451
00:36:49,165 --> 00:36:52,874
So, what brings you
to the south of France,
miss...
452
00:36:52,961 --> 00:36:54,371
Bhilli... bholly...
453
00:36:54,462 --> 00:36:55,668
Bhuletova.
454
00:36:56,172 --> 00:36:57,537
Bhuletova.
455
00:36:57,882 --> 00:36:59,668
I'm just visiting
a friend of mine.
456
00:36:59,759 --> 00:37:00,874
Hmm.
457
00:37:03,930 --> 00:37:07,172
And would this friend
be the owner of the dot calm?
458
00:37:08,351 --> 00:37:09,431
Hmm.
459
00:37:09,519 --> 00:37:10,725
Yes, he would.
460
00:37:16,526 --> 00:37:18,357
And what about you,
461
00:37:18,445 --> 00:37:19,445
basil?
462
00:37:19,612 --> 00:37:21,944
Oh, I'm just here on business.
463
00:37:22,198 --> 00:37:25,190
Although, it's rapidly
turning into pleasure.
464
00:37:29,289 --> 00:37:31,029
Ooh! I love these.
465
00:37:36,254 --> 00:37:37,460
They're really hot.
466
00:37:46,514 --> 00:37:48,175
Are you all right?
467
00:37:48,600 --> 00:37:49,931
Yes, fine.
468
00:37:58,985 --> 00:38:00,020
Hmm.
469
00:38:06,493 --> 00:38:07,573
Cheers.
470
00:38:08,036 --> 00:38:11,199
I'm not sure
I've ever met a man
quite like you, basil.
471
00:38:12,207 --> 00:38:14,539
Let me clear up
the uncertainty for you.
472
00:38:15,168 --> 00:38:16,533
You haven't.
473
00:38:30,767 --> 00:38:35,181
I'm sorry, basil. I have
to get up really early
tomorrow morning.
474
00:38:35,563 --> 00:38:37,099
Oh, that's a shame.
475
00:38:47,659 --> 00:38:49,320
How did you get on, sir?
476
00:38:49,452 --> 00:38:52,114
Oh, gosh, what a wonderful
woman, bough. Wonderful.
477
00:38:52,247 --> 00:38:53,247
Right.
478
00:38:53,373 --> 00:38:55,238
Charming. Intelligent.
479
00:38:55,333 --> 00:38:59,042
Lovely sense of humor.
And obviously
entirely innocent.
480
00:38:59,170 --> 00:39:02,287
Although, I broke into
her room and she does have
three passports, sir.
481
00:39:02,382 --> 00:39:05,215
Romanian, Bulgarian, Russian.
Different name in each.
482
00:39:05,844 --> 00:39:08,210
So she's been married
to three different people.
483
00:39:08,346 --> 00:39:10,337
Not unusual in this day
and age, bough.
484
00:39:10,473 --> 00:39:13,340
And I also found some
garroting wire and two boxes
of ammunition.
485
00:39:13,434 --> 00:39:18,269
Well, single woman,
traveling alone,
you can't be too careful.
486
00:39:19,440 --> 00:39:22,398
You don't think
she might be a spy, sir?
487
00:39:22,861 --> 00:39:24,772
A spy?
488
00:39:25,530 --> 00:39:28,272
I think I know
what a spy looks like, bough.
489
00:40:14,412 --> 00:40:15,743
On.
490
00:42:29,088 --> 00:42:30,373
Ohl
491
00:42:59,118 --> 00:43:00,233
ah.
492
00:43:25,728 --> 00:43:26,728
Sir?
493
00:43:27,021 --> 00:43:28,021
Sir!
494
00:43:29,357 --> 00:43:31,348
I just got off the phone
to pin London.
495
00:43:31,442 --> 00:43:33,003
He's found out
who the owner
of that yacht is.
496
00:43:33,027 --> 00:43:34,027
Jason volta.
497
00:43:34,112 --> 00:43:36,319
The world's most powerful
Internet billionaire, sir!
498
00:43:36,405 --> 00:43:37,770
And he's in London, right now.
499
00:43:37,865 --> 00:43:41,278
The prime minister is
personally negotiating
a trade deal with him.
500
00:43:42,286 --> 00:43:43,867
Well, what are we waiting for?
501
00:44:15,111 --> 00:44:17,944
Do you think we might
slow down a little, sir?
502
00:44:18,739 --> 00:44:19,819
What?
503
00:44:21,993 --> 00:44:23,403
Never mind!
504
00:44:29,208 --> 00:44:31,449
With what appears to be
another cyber attack,
505
00:44:31,544 --> 00:44:32,938
pressure is mounting
oh the prime minister.
506
00:44:32,962 --> 00:44:34,918
Every train in england?
Yes, sir.
507
00:44:35,006 --> 00:44:38,089
They're all trying
to terminate
at Bristol temple meads.
508
00:44:41,304 --> 00:44:42,339
Morning, sir!
509
00:44:42,430 --> 00:44:44,512
You see this, English?
Yes!
510
00:44:45,433 --> 00:44:46,433
Please.
511
00:44:47,226 --> 00:44:48,557
Ooh!
512
00:44:49,145 --> 00:44:51,602
Tell me you've got
something I can take
to the prime minister.
513
00:44:51,689 --> 00:44:54,681
Would the name of the man
responsible do, sir?
514
00:44:55,026 --> 00:44:56,607
Excellent, English, yes.
515
00:44:57,236 --> 00:44:59,522
It's Jason...
516
00:45:09,707 --> 00:45:12,164
Volta, sir. Jason volta.
517
00:45:12,585 --> 00:45:13,585
What?
518
00:45:13,753 --> 00:45:16,335
You're accusing
the pm's knight
in shining armor?
519
00:45:16,422 --> 00:45:18,253
I'd need hard evidence.
520
00:45:25,389 --> 00:45:26,720
Which...
521
00:45:27,475 --> 00:45:29,966
Is why agent English
is proposing
522
00:45:30,061 --> 00:45:32,598
a penetration
of volta's country
estate in surrey.
523
00:45:32,813 --> 00:45:37,056
Yes, yes, yes, yes...
524
00:45:37,151 --> 00:45:39,483
Well, do what you have
to do, English.
525
00:45:39,862 --> 00:45:41,853
But for god's sake,
be discreet about it.
526
00:45:42,073 --> 00:45:44,109
Ohl! Oh.
527
00:45:44,200 --> 00:45:45,235
Good.
528
00:45:45,326 --> 00:45:46,406
Oh. Oh.
529
00:45:52,667 --> 00:45:54,373
"Virtual reality"?
530
00:45:54,502 --> 00:45:55,502
That's right, sir.
531
00:45:55,586 --> 00:45:57,946
P's built a computer model of
the inside of volta's mansion.
532
00:45:58,005 --> 00:46:02,965
When you put on this headset,
it will look and feel as if
you are inside the house.
533
00:46:03,052 --> 00:46:06,510
You'll be able to open
and close doors,
walk up and down staircases,
534
00:46:06,597 --> 00:46:09,384
completely familiarize
yourself with its layout.
535
00:46:09,475 --> 00:46:12,717
This floor moves in any
direction. So you can walk...
536
00:46:13,980 --> 00:46:17,393
You can walk
as far as you want
in the virtual world
537
00:46:18,150 --> 00:46:20,607
without ever actually
leaving this room.
538
00:46:20,987 --> 00:46:22,022
One thing though, sir.
539
00:46:23,239 --> 00:46:24,945
The experience can be
very disorientating.
540
00:46:25,032 --> 00:46:26,238
It's completely immersive
541
00:46:26,325 --> 00:46:29,362
and some people lose all track
of their actual surroundings.
542
00:46:29,453 --> 00:46:32,661
I think we can
pretty much guarantee
that's not gonna happen.
543
00:46:32,999 --> 00:46:35,331
I'll just need you
to sign the health
and safety releases.
544
00:46:35,668 --> 00:46:38,375
Would you excuse me
while I find an iPad.
545
00:46:39,380 --> 00:46:42,668
Oh, go with him, bough.
If we don't chivvy him along
we'll be here all day.
546
00:46:48,723 --> 00:46:49,963
Hmm.
547
00:47:10,161 --> 00:47:11,321
Ah.
548
00:47:33,392 --> 00:47:34,392
Watch out!
549
00:48:02,671 --> 00:48:04,457
Door closing.
550
00:48:05,091 --> 00:48:06,422
Going down.
551
00:49:07,153 --> 00:49:08,313
Hey!
552
00:49:23,794 --> 00:49:25,689
I'm sorry, sir,
but you're going
to have to leave.
553
00:49:25,713 --> 00:49:26,748
Ow.
554
00:49:27,047 --> 00:49:28,082
Ow.
555
00:49:51,739 --> 00:49:54,856
So,
we'll shortly be arriving
at admiralty house.
556
00:49:54,992 --> 00:49:58,905
And, er, that actually used
to be Oliver cromwell's
own house. Um...
557
00:50:00,706 --> 00:50:02,037
Uh...
558
00:50:02,166 --> 00:50:05,658
And then we'll be going
to horse guards parade.
559
00:50:08,422 --> 00:50:10,208
Perhaps you'd like
to sit down, sir?
560
00:50:12,968 --> 00:50:14,833
Hey, whoa!
561
00:50:19,475 --> 00:50:20,885
I've got them!
562
00:50:25,564 --> 00:50:29,523
However, the agent we have
on this mission is confident
he's making major progress.
563
00:50:29,610 --> 00:50:32,397
And, uh, yes, we have
a potential suspect,
he's been identified.
564
00:50:32,905 --> 00:50:36,898
And further
covert investigations
are now ongoing.
565
00:50:38,202 --> 00:50:39,408
Yes, quite.
566
00:50:39,662 --> 00:50:42,574
So I expect to have more
to announce on this front
567
00:50:44,333 --> 00:50:45,493
shortly.
568
00:50:59,390 --> 00:51:00,550
On.
569
00:51:01,433 --> 00:51:02,433
Sir?
570
00:51:02,518 --> 00:51:03,633
Mmm?
571
00:51:03,727 --> 00:51:06,560
Is everything all right, sir?
Yes, I've done it, bough.
572
00:51:06,814 --> 00:51:09,556
Child's play. Don't know what
all the fuss was about.
573
00:51:23,163 --> 00:51:25,154
Pleasure to see you again,
prime minister.
574
00:51:26,792 --> 00:51:29,704
It's a hologram.
Apparently you just
speak to it normally.
575
00:51:31,380 --> 00:51:33,541
The pleasure's all mine.
576
00:51:33,632 --> 00:51:37,500
Hate to rush you,
but was there something
in particular you needed?
577
00:51:37,595 --> 00:51:40,257
Actually, I was just calling
really to see
578
00:51:40,347 --> 00:51:44,386
if you had had a chance
to think things over.
579
00:51:44,643 --> 00:51:45,643
I have.
580
00:51:48,147 --> 00:51:51,731
But the thing is, Fiona,
I just don't really do
other people's security.
581
00:51:51,817 --> 00:51:55,184
Not that I don't want to.
But your infrastructure
is old.
582
00:51:55,529 --> 00:51:57,257
Plus the only way I could keep
you secure in the meantime
583
00:51:57,281 --> 00:52:00,819
would be by storing all your
data on my own servers.
584
00:52:00,909 --> 00:52:03,025
Obviously, that would be...
Yes. Jason,
585
00:52:03,120 --> 00:52:07,079
what I really want to do
is announce this tie-up
at the g12 meeting.
586
00:52:07,958 --> 00:52:10,290
Do we have a deal?
587
00:52:19,470 --> 00:52:21,131
Good luck, sir.
588
00:52:39,823 --> 00:52:40,823
Hey.
589
00:52:40,991 --> 00:52:41,991
Sir?
590
00:52:42,076 --> 00:52:44,567
I said
to get the chopper ready.
Right there.
591
00:52:44,662 --> 00:52:45,868
Sir. Right away, sir.
592
00:52:46,038 --> 00:52:47,244
Thank you.
593
00:52:47,456 --> 00:52:49,037
- Tyler, come in.
- Copy.
594
00:52:49,458 --> 00:52:51,414
Tyler, can you prepare
the chopper now?
595
00:52:51,543 --> 00:52:54,330
We'll have everything
ready for you
in a couple of minutes.
596
00:53:25,661 --> 00:53:28,653
We can't keep meeting
like this, Mr. golightly.
597
00:53:28,747 --> 00:53:30,078
Oh, yes.
598
00:53:30,165 --> 00:53:33,123
Or do you want
to end this charade
and tell me your real name?
599
00:53:33,419 --> 00:53:34,955
Go.
600
00:53:37,881 --> 00:53:41,749
There's so much you don't
understand about this world
you've got caught up in.
601
00:53:42,845 --> 00:53:46,212
Spare me the idiot act.
You're British secret service.
602
00:53:47,433 --> 00:53:51,176
Impressive work in France,
by the way. When did you
realize I was a spy, too?
603
00:53:52,688 --> 00:53:55,976
Oh, pretty much straight away.
604
00:53:56,859 --> 00:53:57,894
Hmm.
605
00:54:00,279 --> 00:54:04,272
I've spent two years
undercover. Simple operation
until you showed up.
606
00:54:04,491 --> 00:54:06,231
And I like
to keep things simple.
607
00:54:07,119 --> 00:54:08,984
"Simple" is my middle name.
608
00:54:13,250 --> 00:54:15,115
It would seem you've got
a choice to make.
609
00:54:17,755 --> 00:54:21,668
Temporary suspension
of hostilities?
A short-term partnership?
610
00:54:22,843 --> 00:54:24,003
Agreed.
Hmm.
611
00:54:30,642 --> 00:54:31,802
Hmm.
612
00:54:31,977 --> 00:54:34,935
Politicians are
even more gullible
than venture capitalists.
613
00:54:35,022 --> 00:54:36,022
That is correct.
614
00:54:36,106 --> 00:54:37,386
Get me a copy
of the target list.
615
00:54:37,649 --> 00:54:39,981
We'll hit them once more
just to be on the safe side.
616
00:54:40,527 --> 00:54:43,644
Give me your phone.
You don't have a phone?
617
00:54:43,781 --> 00:54:46,147
A phone will give anyone
your precise location.
618
00:54:46,241 --> 00:54:48,903
And yet they're so useful
for making phone calls.
619
00:54:48,994 --> 00:54:51,360
Excellent.
I'm not phoning anyone.
620
00:54:52,122 --> 00:54:55,034
I'm gathering evidence.
621
00:54:56,919 --> 00:55:00,753
The target list,
Jason. Four iconic
central London landmarks.
622
00:55:00,881 --> 00:55:02,963
Make your selection.
Number three.
623
00:55:03,091 --> 00:55:04,922
The London eye.
624
00:55:06,178 --> 00:55:11,389
This cyber attack
could potentially impact
16,000 visitors.
625
00:55:16,730 --> 00:55:19,221
I found him snooping
around upstairs.
626
00:55:20,317 --> 00:55:22,228
And who are you exactly?
627
00:55:22,361 --> 00:55:23,817
I'm not telling you anything.
628
00:55:23,904 --> 00:55:24,939
Hmm.
629
00:55:25,989 --> 00:55:28,150
Face recognition
software launched.
630
00:55:28,492 --> 00:55:31,950
Johnny English
is a geography teacher
from lincolnshire.
631
00:55:32,412 --> 00:55:36,246
Rather heavily armed for
a lesson on European capitals,
Mr. English.
632
00:55:38,752 --> 00:55:39,958
Any thoughts, sweetheart?
633
00:55:40,963 --> 00:55:42,874
He's British intelligence.
634
00:55:44,174 --> 00:55:46,335
And there you have I,
two words that have
635
00:55:46,426 --> 00:55:49,338
no right being
in the same sentence together.
636
00:55:49,721 --> 00:55:52,713
Do you really think
I came here alone?
637
00:55:53,100 --> 00:55:56,388
I have a team of crack
operatives out there,
right now,
638
00:55:56,478 --> 00:55:57,968
just waiting to strike.
639
00:55:58,063 --> 00:55:59,348
Uh-huh.
640
00:56:04,444 --> 00:56:05,479
Sir!
641
00:56:08,699 --> 00:56:10,985
What has happened
to this country?
642
00:56:11,118 --> 00:56:13,825
How is it possible
that less than a century ago
643
00:56:13,912 --> 00:56:16,904
the British empire
ruled a quarter of the globe
644
00:56:17,040 --> 00:56:20,624
and now it's relying on someone
645
00:56:21,795 --> 00:56:24,207
like you?
646
00:56:28,760 --> 00:56:29,795
Hey! Stop!
647
00:56:31,138 --> 00:56:32,138
Stop him?
648
00:56:46,069 --> 00:56:47,069
Go.
649
00:56:55,537 --> 00:56:56,947
- Close the gates.
- Yes, sir.
650
00:57:07,841 --> 00:57:09,172
Help! Stop!
651
00:57:09,259 --> 00:57:11,625
Obstacle directly ahead,
Mrs. trattner.
652
00:57:11,762 --> 00:57:15,675
Check your mirrors
and bring the car to a stop.
653
00:57:18,018 --> 00:57:19,724
Er, excuse me. Hey.
654
00:57:21,730 --> 00:57:22,730
Thank you.
655
00:57:26,318 --> 00:57:27,318
Drive!
656
00:57:29,613 --> 00:57:30,613
Excuse me.
657
00:57:30,697 --> 00:57:32,437
What... what do you think
you're doing?
658
00:57:32,532 --> 00:57:35,114
Excuse me!
You are not
a qualified instructor.
659
00:57:44,294 --> 00:57:46,535
But what about
my instructor?
Turn left.
660
00:57:46,630 --> 00:57:47,665
On.
661
00:57:48,548 --> 00:57:49,583
Turn right.
662
00:57:54,012 --> 00:57:56,549
For future reference,
I'm on your left.
663
00:57:56,890 --> 00:58:00,382
Please, stop.
I can't do this anymore!
664
00:58:04,773 --> 00:58:06,354
I can't see anything now!
665
00:58:06,858 --> 00:58:07,858
Good.
666
00:58:19,538 --> 00:58:21,494
When I say "go,"
turn sharp right.
667
00:58:21,581 --> 00:58:22,787
Uh-huh.
668
00:58:26,586 --> 00:58:28,827
Three, two, one.
669
00:58:29,339 --> 00:58:30,339
Gol
670
00:58:33,593 --> 00:58:35,504
and straighten up,
straighten up, straighten up.
671
00:58:35,595 --> 00:58:36,801
And go!
672
00:58:37,597 --> 00:58:38,597
Let's go, let's go.
673
00:58:47,399 --> 00:58:49,310
Oh, now just bear left
a little. Good.
674
00:58:49,735 --> 00:58:51,100
Straighten up, straighten up.
675
00:58:55,574 --> 00:58:56,574
Good!
676
00:59:00,704 --> 00:59:02,990
Well, that was
very good, Mrs. trattner.
677
00:59:05,751 --> 00:59:07,958
I think you made
some real progress today.
678
00:59:09,546 --> 00:59:11,002
You're not hearing me, English.
679
00:59:11,089 --> 00:59:14,152
Given the prime minister's
new friendship with volta,
the situation has changed.
680
00:59:14,176 --> 00:59:18,795
But the facts haven't,
sir. That attack
is volta's responsibility.
681
00:59:18,889 --> 00:59:21,346
According to you, but not
according to anyone else.
682
00:59:21,433 --> 00:59:22,843
Is he here yet?
683
00:59:23,477 --> 00:59:25,843
Good afternoon,
prime minister.
So, this is, uh...
684
00:59:26,104 --> 00:59:28,891
English, prime minister.
Johnny English.
685
00:59:29,191 --> 00:59:31,682
What exactly
do you have to say
for yourself?
686
00:59:31,985 --> 00:59:33,725
Rather a lot, actually.
687
00:59:34,029 --> 00:59:37,613
However, men like me
don't deal in prevarication,
prime minister,
688
00:59:37,699 --> 00:59:39,360
so let me get
straight to the point.
689
00:59:39,451 --> 00:59:42,693
Jason volta is the man
behind these attacks.
690
00:59:42,788 --> 00:59:45,370
And I have the evidence
to prove it.
691
00:59:46,416 --> 00:59:50,125
I managed to record this
inside volta's country lair.
692
00:59:50,253 --> 00:59:51,743
But I should warn you,
prime minister,
693
00:59:51,880 --> 00:59:55,793
that what you're about to see
is evil incarnate.
694
00:59:57,803 --> 00:59:59,009
Hmm.
695
01:00:01,223 --> 01:00:04,181
Here we are
at Fifi's third birthday!
696
01:00:04,267 --> 01:00:06,508
And it's a very exciting day!
697
01:00:08,313 --> 01:00:11,055
Hip hip, hooray!
Hip hip, hooray!
698
01:00:12,109 --> 01:00:15,272
Happy birthday to you
699
01:00:16,446 --> 01:00:20,280
happy birthday to you
700
01:00:21,660 --> 01:00:22,660
thank you.
701
01:00:23,120 --> 01:00:25,532
Can I just ask,
what is wrong with you?
702
01:00:26,832 --> 01:00:29,198
The country is in a state
of complete chaos.
703
01:00:29,292 --> 01:00:30,452
The press is wetting itself,
704
01:00:30,544 --> 01:00:32,500
and the only person
capable of saving us
705
01:00:32,587 --> 01:00:34,828
is the man you're accusing
of high treason.
706
01:00:35,799 --> 01:00:39,087
I was in the room myself
when he gave the order,
prime minister!
707
01:00:39,219 --> 01:00:40,425
But there was a...
708
01:00:40,512 --> 01:00:42,198
Do you know what I was
in the room with, English?
709
01:00:42,222 --> 01:00:43,908
Your file, which I've read,
in its entirety,
710
01:00:43,932 --> 01:00:45,012
and I have a few questions.
711
01:00:45,100 --> 01:00:46,636
Did you or did you not burn
712
01:00:46,726 --> 01:00:49,183
the cote de roc restaurant in
antibes to the ground?
713
01:00:49,271 --> 01:00:50,351
Um...
714
01:00:50,438 --> 01:00:52,804
And did you
or did you not fire
a guided missile
715
01:00:52,941 --> 01:00:54,556
at a peloton of French cyclists?
716
01:00:55,110 --> 01:00:56,110
Well...
717
01:00:56,236 --> 01:00:57,646
Before commandeering
an open-top bus
718
01:00:57,779 --> 01:00:59,895
and tossing the tour guide
off the top deck,
719
01:01:00,031 --> 01:01:02,343
and then assaulting
an 82-year-old grandmother
in a sandwich shop
720
01:01:02,367 --> 01:01:04,608
before battering the employee
of said sandwich shop
721
01:01:04,703 --> 01:01:06,614
with two organic
sourdough baguettes?
722
01:01:07,747 --> 01:01:09,487
Uh, I don't remember the...
723
01:01:09,624 --> 01:01:12,707
Do you have any idea
how hard itis to be me?
724
01:01:14,296 --> 01:01:15,911
- Uh...
- Hmm?
725
01:01:16,840 --> 01:01:18,831
Do you have even
the foggiest notion
726
01:01:18,967 --> 01:01:22,459
of how virtually impossible
it is to get anything done
727
01:01:22,596 --> 01:01:27,260
in the face of events
and facts and voters
728
01:01:27,392 --> 01:01:30,509
and that Tsunami of tosspots
we call "the national press"?
729
01:01:30,645 --> 01:01:33,978
Finally I get the chance to do
something good for my country,
730
01:01:34,065 --> 01:01:35,305
and what happens?
731
01:01:35,442 --> 01:01:38,024
The universe sends me you.
732
01:01:39,779 --> 01:01:41,315
Well, do you know what I say?
733
01:01:41,406 --> 01:01:44,318
I say, up the universe's arse!
734
01:01:44,451 --> 01:01:46,487
And do you know
what else I say?
You're fired.
735
01:01:46,578 --> 01:01:48,614
With immediate effect.
Now get out!
736
01:01:48,997 --> 01:01:53,036
And make sure
I never clap eyes
on that imbecile ever again!
737
01:02:35,001 --> 01:02:36,832
What are you doing, sir?
738
01:02:37,921 --> 01:02:41,038
What do you think I'm doing,
bough? I'm going home.
739
01:02:41,424 --> 01:02:43,836
But the prime minister
is finalizing her deal
with volta.
740
01:02:43,969 --> 01:02:47,211
She's taking him to the g12
summit in Scotland
as her special guest.
741
01:02:47,347 --> 01:02:51,340
It's over, bough. And there's
absolutely nothing
we can do about it.
742
01:02:52,060 --> 01:02:54,722
But, sir, I have a plan.
743
01:02:55,105 --> 01:02:56,891
Remember my wife?
744
01:03:05,782 --> 01:03:07,067
Clear your baffles.
745
01:03:07,784 --> 01:03:09,570
What?
Mind your head, sir.
746
01:03:09,661 --> 01:03:10,741
Owl
747
01:03:13,832 --> 01:03:15,072
this says we're sinking.
748
01:03:18,753 --> 01:03:23,622
She's old and a little rusty,
but she can put on
a hell of a fireworks display.
749
01:03:40,525 --> 01:03:42,311
Excellent work, commander.
750
01:03:42,610 --> 01:03:45,397
Jeremy has always spoken very
highly of you, agent English.
751
01:03:46,573 --> 01:03:47,573
Who?
752
01:03:49,492 --> 01:03:50,652
On.
753
01:03:50,744 --> 01:03:52,405
Oh, yes, yes.
754
01:03:54,289 --> 01:03:56,405
I'm no fan
of the pen pushers
myself, so
755
01:03:56,499 --> 01:03:58,519
when orders came through
stationing us here
for the summit,
756
01:03:58,543 --> 01:04:00,955
well, I thought
a lift was the least
I could do.
757
01:04:01,296 --> 01:04:03,207
Right, let's get
a move on, bough.
758
01:04:04,632 --> 01:04:06,444
Oh, if you wouldn't mind
keeping your mobiles off
759
01:04:06,468 --> 01:04:07,828
until you're well clear,
gentlemen.
760
01:04:07,886 --> 01:04:10,377
The launch systems on the
missiles are a bit 1980s.
761
01:04:10,472 --> 01:04:13,214
Gets a tad twitchy
around microwave radiation.
762
01:04:13,350 --> 01:04:17,343
No problem there, commander.
We're doing this mission
old-school.
763
01:04:27,489 --> 01:04:29,150
This spot is perfect.
764
01:04:30,742 --> 01:04:32,073
Come on.
765
01:04:47,592 --> 01:04:48,592
Sorry, sir.
766
01:04:48,676 --> 01:04:50,132
Come on, come on...
767
01:04:52,013 --> 01:04:53,753
Right, bough.
Our mission here
is simple.
768
01:04:53,932 --> 01:04:57,299
Gain access to volta's bedroom
and take him out.
769
01:04:57,727 --> 01:04:59,527
How are you
going to get up there,
though, sir?
770
01:05:00,063 --> 01:05:03,351
A walk in the park
for the exoskeleton.
771
01:05:09,823 --> 01:05:12,860
Remotely operated
neoprene bodysuit.
772
01:05:12,992 --> 01:05:15,904
Increases the wearer's
strength 100 times.
773
01:05:16,287 --> 01:05:19,575
Right, power it up.
Stick in the floppy disk
and let's go.
774
01:05:27,882 --> 01:05:28,882
Just...
775
01:05:45,358 --> 01:05:46,564
Crikey, sir!
776
01:06:03,001 --> 01:06:04,832
When will the weapon be ready?
777
01:06:04,961 --> 01:06:08,579
As soon as
the prime minister signs
the agreement, tonight.
778
01:06:08,715 --> 01:06:10,046
How do I fire it?
779
01:06:10,175 --> 01:06:12,757
Press once and the attack
is launched.
780
01:06:13,011 --> 01:06:16,469
After which, the data
of every g12 country
781
01:06:16,598 --> 01:06:20,090
will be transferred
to the servers
onboard the dot calm.
782
01:06:20,185 --> 01:06:21,185
Perfect.
783
01:06:22,854 --> 01:06:23,934
Ah.
784
01:06:25,356 --> 01:06:26,356
Cheers.
785
01:06:34,782 --> 01:06:38,070
You're working for Russian
intelligence and you have been
from the start.
786
01:06:38,578 --> 01:06:41,378
Which is why I've taken
an antidote to the poison
you keep in your ring,
787
01:06:41,414 --> 01:06:43,075
and which you've poured
into this drink.
788
01:06:44,834 --> 01:06:47,120
And removed the firing pin
from that pistol.
789
01:06:55,970 --> 01:06:57,926
Everyone has to make a life
for themselves.
790
01:06:58,223 --> 01:07:00,339
It's just sad that yours is
791
01:07:01,434 --> 01:07:02,469
over.
792
01:07:02,560 --> 01:07:03,640
Hmm.
793
01:07:03,728 --> 01:07:07,016
Fresh from my 3D printer.
Hundred percent plastic.
794
01:07:10,235 --> 01:07:11,896
And 100% deadly.
795
01:07:13,071 --> 01:07:14,982
Killing me won't save you.
796
01:07:15,907 --> 01:07:16,907
Don't bet on it.
797
01:07:21,663 --> 01:07:24,029
Seriously,
this cannot be happening.
798
01:07:24,249 --> 01:07:26,114
Oh, but itis.
799
01:07:27,168 --> 01:07:28,328
Drop the gun.
800
01:07:29,254 --> 01:07:30,585
Get your hands in the air.
801
01:07:31,548 --> 01:07:32,548
And you.
802
01:07:40,640 --> 01:07:41,925
There's no time
for this, Johnny.
803
01:07:42,809 --> 01:07:44,265
Oh, it isn't possible.
804
01:07:44,352 --> 01:07:47,094
You cannot be working
with this English idiot!
805
01:07:47,188 --> 01:07:50,601
Save the pillow talk
for your prison cell, volta.
806
01:07:50,942 --> 01:07:54,776
Are you inside, sir?
Yes, yes, bough,
you can power down.
807
01:07:55,154 --> 01:07:56,985
Everything is under control.
808
01:07:57,949 --> 01:07:59,280
Shut down.
809
01:08:23,850 --> 01:08:26,262
An historic venue
for an historic meeting.
810
01:08:26,352 --> 01:08:30,265
The delegates from each g12
member nation will have their
own priorities...
811
01:08:41,618 --> 01:08:43,154
How do we get in now, sir?
812
01:08:51,919 --> 01:08:53,580
What's the plan?
813
01:09:28,665 --> 01:09:30,075
Hey, you!
814
01:09:30,750 --> 01:09:31,830
Hey!
815
01:09:47,892 --> 01:09:50,679
Thank you very much.
I hope you have
everything you need.
816
01:10:07,578 --> 01:10:08,784
Owl
817
01:10:09,038 --> 01:10:10,574
on behalf of the United Kingdom,
818
01:10:10,707 --> 01:10:14,245
may I welcome you
here today to this
ancient meeting chamber
819
01:10:14,377 --> 01:10:16,663
where the great Scottish clans
820
01:10:16,796 --> 01:10:20,539
once settled their differences
and forged new alliances.
821
01:10:21,300 --> 01:10:23,507
A place I have
specifically chosen
822
01:10:23,594 --> 01:10:26,802
in order to make
a very special announcement.
823
01:10:27,807 --> 01:10:28,807
Sir?
824
01:10:30,101 --> 01:10:34,060
Are you all right, sir?
No, I'm not
all right. Get me up, bough.
825
01:10:37,775 --> 01:10:41,313
It's very heavy, sir.
I know how heavy it is, bough.
826
01:10:44,240 --> 01:10:45,946
We've got to get
to the conference...
827
01:10:47,869 --> 01:10:50,076
To the conference room
before volta...
828
01:10:51,789 --> 01:10:53,996
Before volta triggers
his weapon.
829
01:10:55,543 --> 01:10:59,331
And so, with my signature
on this agreement...
830
01:11:01,048 --> 01:11:03,130
It gives me great pleasure, oh,
831
01:11:03,217 --> 01:11:07,927
to welcome to you my guest,
my friend, Jason volta.
832
01:11:10,850 --> 01:11:14,183
Standing
by to launch attack, Jason.
833
01:11:14,479 --> 01:11:16,640
Damn it, get me
out of this stuff.
Johnny?
834
01:11:16,773 --> 01:11:18,764
I can't see
the join, sir.
It's the clasp.
835
01:11:18,900 --> 01:11:21,858
Release the clasp
and the top
and the bottom separate.
836
01:11:23,821 --> 01:11:25,777
Must have jammed
when you fell over, sir.
837
01:11:25,948 --> 01:11:27,984
For goodness sake.
Wait. Try this.
838
01:11:34,874 --> 01:11:36,865
That is quite a lot of oil, sir.
839
01:11:37,960 --> 01:11:40,372
Oh, come on!
Come on, come on...
840
01:11:41,506 --> 01:11:45,215
Can you imagine what the world
would look like
if it was run by apple?
841
01:11:46,677 --> 01:11:49,089
Or Google? Or...
842
01:11:49,639 --> 01:11:50,719
Me?
843
01:11:53,976 --> 01:11:56,058
Do you think
you'd have failing schools?
844
01:11:56,813 --> 01:11:59,145
Do you think
you'd have endless
waiting in your hospitals?
845
01:11:59,232 --> 01:12:00,232
No.
846
01:12:00,316 --> 01:12:03,058
Think you'd have
such long lines
in your airports?
847
01:12:03,194 --> 01:12:04,730
- No.
- No.
848
01:12:05,071 --> 01:12:09,485
No, because
all of these are simple
data management problems.
849
01:12:09,617 --> 01:12:12,279
And people like me,
we love data.
850
01:12:13,037 --> 01:12:15,699
We live for data.
851
01:12:16,123 --> 01:12:17,829
Ha!
My...
852
01:12:17,959 --> 01:12:20,291
Do you know
what I live for, volta?
853
01:12:20,378 --> 01:12:21,378
God.
854
01:12:21,462 --> 01:12:26,832
Eliminating the threat
that lying villains like you
pose to this country.
855
01:12:27,134 --> 01:12:28,340
Oh, for god's sake.
856
01:12:28,636 --> 01:12:30,172
Who is he?
857
01:12:30,346 --> 01:12:31,756
Arrest this whack job.
858
01:12:31,889 --> 01:12:34,972
The only person ordering an
arrest around here will be me.
859
01:12:35,768 --> 01:12:38,134
There's no cause for concern,
ladies and gentlemen,
860
01:12:38,271 --> 01:12:42,935
you are now in
the capable hands of
her majesty's secret service.
861
01:12:43,276 --> 01:12:47,940
And you, my friend, are in for
an uncomfortable ride.
862
01:13:04,463 --> 01:13:05,794
Where was I?
863
01:13:07,258 --> 01:13:08,998
Living for data.
864
01:13:09,385 --> 01:13:10,465
Exactly.
865
01:13:11,804 --> 01:13:16,798
My algorithms can solve
every one of your problems
as long as I have one thing.
866
01:13:16,893 --> 01:13:17,973
Control.
867
01:13:18,644 --> 01:13:21,977
And that is what you are about
to give me now.
868
01:13:22,607 --> 01:13:24,768
Jason, I wonder
if you could just clarify...
869
01:13:24,859 --> 01:13:25,939
Shut up.
870
01:13:26,485 --> 01:13:27,725
Now, hold on.
871
01:13:29,071 --> 01:13:30,732
Castle now locked down
872
01:13:31,782 --> 01:13:34,023
and under your control, Jason.
873
01:13:35,995 --> 01:13:38,407
The agreement this ignoramus
just signed
874
01:13:38,497 --> 01:13:41,159
didn't just give me access
to all the uk's data.
875
01:13:41,292 --> 01:13:45,251
It also gave me access
to a junction box,
in north ayrshire
876
01:13:45,379 --> 01:13:47,916
that connects
the entire world wide web.
877
01:13:48,215 --> 01:13:53,881
Disable the fiber-optic cables
in that box and the Internet
will cease to exist.
878
01:13:55,181 --> 01:13:57,763
Johnny? Are you okay?
879
01:14:05,107 --> 01:14:07,940
Have you got a phone?
We need to call for backup.
880
01:14:08,027 --> 01:14:10,985
There's no time for backup.
I'm going after volta.
881
01:14:11,072 --> 01:14:12,778
And don't lose that one!
882
01:14:13,824 --> 01:14:17,737
Do you understand
what it means
if I turn the Internet off?
883
01:14:17,954 --> 01:14:22,288
Cities will go dark.
Planes will fall
out of the sky.
884
01:14:23,000 --> 01:14:26,458
Trains will collide.
Law and order will break down
885
01:14:26,545 --> 01:14:29,412
and the world as you know it
will be over.
886
01:14:30,132 --> 01:14:32,748
Show, don't tell, right?
887
01:14:36,555 --> 01:14:38,546
Initiating attack, Jason.
888
01:14:39,475 --> 01:14:41,466
Taking control of junction box.
889
01:14:42,603 --> 01:14:47,472
Suspending Internet and
electricity supply across
britain and Europe.
890
01:14:48,526 --> 01:14:50,938
Stage one of attack complete.
891
01:14:51,445 --> 01:14:54,733
Ladies and gentlemen.
I can stop the attack
892
01:14:54,824 --> 01:14:58,316
as long as each of you signs
the same agreement
as the prime minister,
893
01:14:58,411 --> 01:15:00,402
giving me complete control.
894
01:15:01,330 --> 01:15:02,740
Your call.
895
01:15:03,582 --> 01:15:06,369
Welcome
to British intelligence.
Get me Pegasus!
896
01:15:06,794 --> 01:15:10,537
For mis, press one.
For m16, press two.
897
01:15:10,965 --> 01:15:13,297
For mi7, press three.
898
01:15:19,890 --> 01:15:23,053
Eight g12 signatures
now acquired.
899
01:15:24,103 --> 01:15:26,685
Signal the chopper,
we're almost done here.
900
01:15:27,106 --> 01:15:28,892
For accounts, press five.
901
01:15:28,983 --> 01:15:31,315
For childcare services,
press six.
Oh, come on!
902
01:15:31,444 --> 01:15:33,776
For more options, press seven.
903
01:15:36,323 --> 01:15:37,323
What?
904
01:15:38,743 --> 01:15:43,908
Only two further
signatures required to achieve
control of g12 nations’ data.
905
01:15:44,749 --> 01:15:46,159
All uk data
906
01:15:46,250 --> 01:15:49,037
now successfully transferred
to the dot calm.
907
01:15:49,170 --> 01:15:52,662
- For Aphrodite, press one.
- For Pegasus, press two.
908
01:15:55,217 --> 01:15:56,217
Oh, my god.
909
01:15:56,302 --> 01:16:00,011
Dive the submarine.
Repeat, dive the submarine.
910
01:16:02,808 --> 01:16:04,924
Director's office?
This is Johnny English.
911
01:16:05,061 --> 01:16:09,270
I need to speak
to Pegasus immediately.
It's a national emergency.
912
01:16:09,398 --> 01:16:10,888
One moment, please, sir.
913
01:16:12,860 --> 01:16:13,895
This is hms vengeance.
914
01:16:14,028 --> 01:16:17,646
We have a full launch code.
Repeat, launch code is locked.
915
01:16:17,782 --> 01:16:19,773
Do I have your permission
to fire?
916
01:16:19,909 --> 01:16:22,241
Oh, my god. Could you hold on
one moment, please?
917
01:16:22,369 --> 01:16:24,109
Sir? Sirl
918
01:16:25,081 --> 01:16:26,081
hello?
919
01:16:26,332 --> 01:16:27,332
Hello?
920
01:16:27,416 --> 01:16:30,533
Sir! Hms vengeance here.
Do I have your permission
to launch?
921
01:16:30,669 --> 01:16:33,581
What?
Listen, we have to
call in an attack.
922
01:16:33,672 --> 01:16:34,912
Did you say "attack," sir?
923
01:16:38,719 --> 01:16:41,381
General quarters,
we are go for launch.
924
01:16:41,514 --> 01:16:43,425
Target coordinates locked,
commander.
925
01:16:43,557 --> 01:16:44,557
Hello?
926
01:16:46,477 --> 01:16:47,512
Hello?
927
01:16:57,947 --> 01:17:00,484
Commander,
the missile
is being redirected.
928
01:17:01,325 --> 01:17:03,987
It seems to be locking on
to a new hostile target.
929
01:17:06,622 --> 01:17:07,987
What's a "sherbet f"?
930
01:17:19,301 --> 01:17:21,417
- Oh, no.
- What was that?
931
01:17:22,972 --> 01:17:26,009
Dot calm appears
to be offline, Jason.
932
01:17:26,183 --> 01:17:28,845
The cyber attack
has been halted.
933
01:17:32,898 --> 01:17:34,229
Did you
934
01:17:34,608 --> 01:17:37,190
make a call quite close
to the submarine, sir?
935
01:17:40,072 --> 01:17:41,187
Um...
936
01:17:41,282 --> 01:17:42,362
Because...
937
01:17:43,367 --> 01:17:44,698
You did it, sir!
938
01:17:45,870 --> 01:17:47,610
Mission accomplished!
939
01:17:48,164 --> 01:17:49,654
Well, exactly!
940
01:17:51,417 --> 01:17:54,500
I am re-evaluating
our options, Jason.
941
01:18:01,010 --> 01:18:02,841
Johnny! Johnny!
942
01:18:02,928 --> 01:18:06,011
Volta is getting away!
He's heading
for his helicopter!
943
01:18:06,098 --> 01:18:07,383
No, bough.
944
01:18:08,601 --> 01:18:10,262
This one's mine.
945
01:18:43,886 --> 01:18:45,547
Careful, sir. Sir?
946
01:18:56,607 --> 01:18:58,268
Last two steps, sir.
947
01:19:03,364 --> 01:19:05,275
Not so fast, volta!
948
01:19:06,909 --> 01:19:08,991
Is this supposed to scare me,
sir Lancelot?
949
01:19:14,124 --> 01:19:15,364
Take cover, bough.
950
01:19:22,007 --> 01:19:25,545
Don't worry, he's only got six
bullets in that thing.
951
01:19:29,014 --> 01:19:30,720
And, of course,
the thing itself.
952
01:19:33,143 --> 01:19:35,179
You've run out
of options, volta.
953
01:19:36,021 --> 01:19:37,306
Oh, you think you've won?
954
01:19:37,398 --> 01:19:38,604
Mmm.
955
01:19:39,191 --> 01:19:42,228
Rerouting the attack
to our Nevada servers, Jason.
956
01:19:42,861 --> 01:19:46,854
The world's going down,
English. And I'll be
the last man standing.
957
01:19:47,491 --> 01:19:50,528
Goodbye, English!
Goodbye, Internet.
958
01:19:51,787 --> 01:19:56,451
I've got it. That's a gazelle
341 light attack helicopter.
959
01:19:57,042 --> 01:19:59,533
If we can hack into
its operating system,
960
01:19:59,795 --> 01:20:01,786
we can disable
the drive function.
961
01:20:02,089 --> 01:20:03,089
Here.
962
01:20:06,927 --> 01:20:11,045
Look at you!
You couldn't use that thing
if your life depended on it!
963
01:20:14,018 --> 01:20:15,383
Let's get outta here.
964
01:20:16,103 --> 01:20:17,809
Get this steel bird in the...
965
01:20:23,027 --> 01:20:27,942
Rerouting complete.
Attack data now installed
at our Nevada servers.
966
01:20:28,365 --> 01:20:30,151
Should I initiate?
967
01:20:30,576 --> 01:20:31,576
Jason?
968
01:20:36,248 --> 01:20:38,409
Should I initiate
the new attack?
969
01:20:39,460 --> 01:20:41,951
Initiate this!
970
01:20:42,046 --> 01:20:44,458
Jason.
971
01:20:55,726 --> 01:20:57,057
Well, uh, ladies and gentlemen.
972
01:20:57,186 --> 01:21:01,054
I think we can all agree,
that wasn't quite the evening
we were expecting.
973
01:21:06,403 --> 01:21:08,394
I had hoped
to present to you
tonight...
974
01:21:08,530 --> 01:21:10,816
Thank you.
A vision of what
britain might be.
975
01:21:11,241 --> 01:21:14,984
But, as it happens,
the man who saved us
all this evening,
976
01:21:15,079 --> 01:21:18,617
the man who, I might add,
I personally assigned
to this case,
977
01:21:19,249 --> 01:21:21,456
has presented us
with a different kind
of vision.
978
01:21:21,543 --> 01:21:25,832
A living embodiment, if you
like, of those fundamental
British qualities
979
01:21:25,923 --> 01:21:30,212
that have ensured that our
beloved island nation endures.
980
01:21:30,719 --> 01:21:33,631
Courage under fire,
endless ingenuity
981
01:21:33,722 --> 01:21:35,633
and above all, a quiet
982
01:21:36,266 --> 01:21:38,973
unassailable dignity.
983
01:21:58,122 --> 01:21:59,362
Thank you.
984
01:22:06,547 --> 01:22:07,957
All together.
985
01:22:18,851 --> 01:22:20,557
Welcome back, Mr. English.
986
01:22:20,644 --> 01:22:21,804
Thank you, headmaster.
987
01:22:21,895 --> 01:22:23,665
Thank you for agreeing
to be our guest speaker.
988
01:22:23,689 --> 01:22:26,476
Now the governors and staff
are all waiting for us
in the rose garden.
989
01:22:26,567 --> 01:22:29,479
Yes, if you could just
excuse me for a few minutes,
headmaster.
990
01:22:35,242 --> 01:22:36,242
On.
991
01:22:38,120 --> 01:22:39,360
Morning, sir!
Hello, sir!
992
01:22:39,455 --> 01:22:41,696
Welcome back, sir!
993
01:22:45,752 --> 01:22:46,832
Surprise!
994
01:22:47,796 --> 01:22:48,956
Thank you.
995
01:22:50,174 --> 01:22:51,755
Where's straker?
996
01:22:52,676 --> 01:22:54,462
Here, sir.
Good.
997
01:22:54,720 --> 01:22:56,631
And, of course, baggaley.
998
01:22:57,931 --> 01:22:59,075
That was very good.
Very good.
999
01:22:59,099 --> 01:23:00,979
All right, gather round,
everyone. Gather round.
1000
01:23:01,894 --> 01:23:03,805
I've got some toys to show you.
1001
01:23:03,896 --> 01:23:05,432
Ooh!
There we go.
1002
01:23:06,523 --> 01:23:08,809
There we are. There we are.
1003
01:23:09,318 --> 01:23:11,400
- Breadstick blowpipe, anyone?
- Me!
1004
01:23:11,487 --> 01:23:12,522
There you go.
1005
01:23:12,613 --> 01:23:14,854
Granny Smith hand grenade?
1006
01:23:15,407 --> 01:23:17,398
And what about
a garroting watch?
Here, sir.
1007
01:23:17,493 --> 01:23:18,493
There you go.
1008
01:23:19,870 --> 01:23:21,576
Ooh!
Here, let me take that.
1009
01:23:21,705 --> 01:23:23,991
Don't worry,
it's only a mild sedative.
1010
01:23:25,209 --> 01:23:27,700
Oh! That's just
a five-second fuse.
1011
01:23:28,962 --> 01:23:31,578
Yes, all right, we all know
what garroting looks like.
1012
01:23:31,715 --> 01:23:33,706
Whenever you're ready,
Mr. English.
1013
01:23:33,842 --> 01:23:36,424
Oh, I'm sorry, headmaster,
I'll just be one moment.
1014
01:23:36,553 --> 01:23:38,714
Just take those. Thank you.
Ooh.
1015
01:23:39,598 --> 01:23:42,635
Put those away, shall we?
There we...
1016
01:23:43,352 --> 01:23:44,512
Um...
1017
01:23:45,354 --> 01:23:47,185
I always did love a jelly baby.
75056
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