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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:01:29,590 --> 00:01:31,126 Oh, bollocks. 2 00:01:35,762 --> 00:01:36,797 We've got a problem. 3 00:01:36,930 --> 00:01:39,467 A cyber attack? Yes, prime minister. 4 00:01:39,558 --> 00:01:42,470 Took me two bottles of wine 5 00:01:42,561 --> 00:01:45,394 and half a packet of sleeping pills to finally nod off. 6 00:01:45,522 --> 00:01:50,016 And you wake me because some fat-fingered hacker's pinched your pin number? 7 00:01:50,319 --> 00:01:51,921 Well, it's a little more serious than that, prime minister. 8 00:01:51,945 --> 00:01:53,856 Hmm? The identities of every one 9 00:01:53,947 --> 00:01:55,938 of our serving agents have been exposed. 10 00:01:56,950 --> 00:01:57,985 What? 11 00:01:58,118 --> 00:02:00,109 Who's doing this? We're not sure, ma'am. 12 00:02:00,245 --> 00:02:03,032 So one week before I host my first g12 summit, 13 00:02:03,123 --> 00:02:05,330 britain's entire security apparatus has been taken down 14 00:02:05,459 --> 00:02:06,824 and you know absolutely nothing? 15 00:02:06,918 --> 00:02:09,660 That does pretty much sums up the situation, ma'am, yes. 16 00:02:09,796 --> 00:02:11,733 Well, you better get someone on it and find me some answers! 17 00:02:11,757 --> 00:02:14,027 Yes, but that's the problem. We don't have any agents left. 18 00:02:14,051 --> 00:02:15,086 They've all been outed. 19 00:02:15,344 --> 00:02:17,585 So bring back an old one! 20 00:02:31,401 --> 00:02:35,485 All units, this is Juliet echo. Stand by for target coordinates. 21 00:02:37,991 --> 00:02:41,984 Target acquired. Repeat, target acquired. 22 00:03:00,013 --> 00:03:02,800 Now then, what have we here? 23 00:03:05,102 --> 00:03:06,217 Sorry, sir. 24 00:03:06,395 --> 00:03:07,976 Never mind, baggaley. 25 00:03:08,063 --> 00:03:11,100 Your concealment and camouflage work is definitely improving. 26 00:03:11,233 --> 00:03:12,313 Thank you, sir. 27 00:03:12,526 --> 00:03:13,526 Come on. 28 00:03:13,610 --> 00:03:15,521 You, too, ibadulla. 29 00:03:15,654 --> 00:03:18,817 Excellent. That is a first-class man-trap. 30 00:03:19,533 --> 00:03:21,364 Six house points. Yes! 31 00:03:23,120 --> 00:03:25,327 Right, let's get back to school before matron 32 00:03:25,414 --> 00:03:26,654 notices you're missing. 33 00:03:26,873 --> 00:03:29,410 And don't worry, there aren't any more booby traps. 34 00:03:32,254 --> 00:03:34,586 Apart from this one, of course. 35 00:03:49,730 --> 00:03:50,810 Mr. English? 36 00:03:51,106 --> 00:03:52,596 We haven't seen him, sir. 37 00:03:53,066 --> 00:03:54,181 Huh. 38 00:03:55,402 --> 00:03:58,235 And that's camouflage. 39 00:04:00,991 --> 00:04:02,151 Hmm. 40 00:04:06,496 --> 00:04:07,496 And go. 41 00:04:08,582 --> 00:04:09,662 And go. 42 00:04:10,500 --> 00:04:11,865 And go. 43 00:04:12,085 --> 00:04:14,997 The welfare of your children is our Paramount concern. 44 00:04:15,380 --> 00:04:17,371 They're never exposed to any unnecessary risk, 45 00:04:17,466 --> 00:04:18,876 I assure you. 46 00:04:29,770 --> 00:04:33,888 I think that's an "f" for your bomb disposal coursework, hattersley. 47 00:04:34,357 --> 00:04:37,019 "You're looking particularly beautiful tonight." 48 00:04:37,152 --> 00:04:40,565 You're looking particularly beautiful tonight. 49 00:04:40,864 --> 00:04:41,864 "Ching!" 50 00:04:42,199 --> 00:04:43,439 Ching! 51 00:04:45,535 --> 00:04:48,072 Have a good half-term, sir! Thank you. 52 00:05:41,049 --> 00:05:43,290 Are you seriously telling me this is all we've got? 53 00:05:43,426 --> 00:05:44,757 Most of them are either dead, 54 00:05:44,845 --> 00:05:47,678 having hip operations or recovering from prostate surgery. 55 00:05:49,766 --> 00:05:50,766 Okay. 56 00:05:51,393 --> 00:05:55,136 Before your briefing, we'll need you to re-sign the official secrets act. 57 00:05:55,272 --> 00:05:56,432 Thank you. 58 00:05:56,815 --> 00:05:57,850 Thank you. 59 00:05:57,941 --> 00:05:58,941 Thank you. 60 00:05:59,442 --> 00:06:00,932 Thank you very much. 61 00:06:01,361 --> 00:06:03,602 Any of you gentlemen remember this? 62 00:06:04,072 --> 00:06:07,610 Ooh, the mont blanc blaster. Haven't seen one of those for years. 63 00:06:07,868 --> 00:06:12,532 Take the cap off and, if memory serves, you've 20 seconds to replace it 64 00:06:12,664 --> 00:06:15,497 or it detonates with the force of a stun grenade. 65 00:06:35,979 --> 00:06:37,310 Thank you. 66 00:06:39,983 --> 00:06:42,349 Teas on the left, gentlemen. 67 00:06:42,485 --> 00:06:44,441 And coffees on the right. 68 00:06:44,738 --> 00:06:45,944 Excellent. 69 00:06:46,072 --> 00:06:49,030 Oh, damn it, I forgot my pills. 70 00:06:49,200 --> 00:06:51,316 Here, have some of mine. 71 00:06:52,913 --> 00:06:54,995 Scotch whisky, single malt? 72 00:06:55,123 --> 00:06:56,954 Thank you very much. 73 00:06:57,167 --> 00:06:59,158 Coffee. Oh. 74 00:06:59,252 --> 00:07:01,493 Here, let me help you with that. 75 00:07:06,801 --> 00:07:07,881 Tea? 76 00:07:13,350 --> 00:07:16,137 Ooh, this one just needs a little top-up of hot water. 77 00:07:16,770 --> 00:07:18,226 I'll be right back. 78 00:07:20,106 --> 00:07:22,347 Man's a divot of the first order. 79 00:07:22,442 --> 00:07:24,774 Someone should put him out of his misery. 80 00:07:24,903 --> 00:07:27,940 Along with whoever furnished this room. 81 00:07:34,037 --> 00:07:35,197 Ohl 82 00:07:37,499 --> 00:07:39,490 ah, good morning. Sorry to keep you. 83 00:07:41,461 --> 00:07:43,201 Are the others here? 84 00:07:43,505 --> 00:07:44,745 Um... 85 00:07:45,840 --> 00:07:47,000 Oh. 86 00:07:51,304 --> 00:07:54,717 They, um... they nodded off. 87 00:07:55,266 --> 00:07:56,266 Right... 88 00:07:57,519 --> 00:07:58,804 And who are you exactly? 89 00:07:59,312 --> 00:08:00,392 English. 90 00:08:01,356 --> 00:08:03,062 - Johnny English. - Well... 91 00:08:04,526 --> 00:08:06,016 "English..." 92 00:08:07,362 --> 00:08:08,818 You'll leave immediately. 93 00:08:08,905 --> 00:08:10,987 My people will give you the full briefing en route. 94 00:08:11,074 --> 00:08:12,405 Oh, is there anything you need? 95 00:08:12,492 --> 00:08:16,201 Yes, nerve gas nasal spray, a type-four exoskeleton... 96 00:08:16,329 --> 00:08:18,240 You should probably start a list. 97 00:08:18,373 --> 00:08:21,786 And a garroting watch, with a rubber strap, not the steel bracelet 98 00:08:21,918 --> 00:08:25,251 because the links get caught in the little hairs on my wrist. 99 00:08:25,588 --> 00:08:27,670 Oh, and I'll also need a bough. 100 00:08:28,216 --> 00:08:29,706 What's a bough? 101 00:08:31,094 --> 00:08:32,094 Sir! 102 00:08:34,180 --> 00:08:36,011 Wonderful to see you! 103 00:08:37,225 --> 00:08:39,932 Yes, all right, bough. We're going on a mission, not a honeymoon. 104 00:08:40,186 --> 00:08:41,767 Yes, of course, sir. 105 00:08:42,397 --> 00:08:45,434 Ah. I think it's the pin of your buckle, sir. It's caught on my jumper. 106 00:08:45,525 --> 00:08:46,877 Yes, I can see what's wrong, bough. 107 00:08:46,901 --> 00:08:50,064 If you go to your left and I'll go to my right. 108 00:08:51,448 --> 00:08:54,690 I'm sorry, no, if you go to your right and I'll go to my left. 109 00:08:56,745 --> 00:09:00,283 No. If I go clockwise and you go anti-clockwise... 110 00:09:01,249 --> 00:09:02,810 Er, no, I think that's making it worse, sir. 111 00:09:02,834 --> 00:09:05,246 Hmm. I'm surprised that didn't work. 112 00:09:10,508 --> 00:09:13,671 Good morning, sir. I have your agent activation pack here. 113 00:09:14,220 --> 00:09:15,881 Department-issue smartphone. 114 00:09:15,972 --> 00:09:20,261 580-megapixel camera, 4.7-inch retina hd display. 115 00:09:20,351 --> 00:09:25,345 Hmm-hmm. Ingenious. And what does it shoot? Poison darts? 116 00:09:25,982 --> 00:09:29,691 It doesn't shoot anything. It's a phone. 117 00:09:30,278 --> 00:09:32,189 There's a Twitter handle, instagram feed 118 00:09:32,280 --> 00:09:34,271 and secure login for the department uber account. 119 00:09:34,365 --> 00:09:35,405 What's he on about, bough? 120 00:09:35,450 --> 00:09:37,566 I need a weapon. Not a box of gobbledygook. 121 00:09:37,786 --> 00:09:40,118 I think, uh, what agent English 122 00:09:40,205 --> 00:09:42,491 is getting at, sir, is all this is highly trackable. 123 00:09:42,791 --> 00:09:46,158 But since we're dealing with a very sophisticated, digital target, 124 00:09:46,252 --> 00:09:50,837 we might be less visible if we took a more analog, low-tech approach. 125 00:09:52,509 --> 00:09:53,589 Exactly. 126 00:09:55,011 --> 00:09:56,342 I see. 127 00:09:56,888 --> 00:09:58,674 Is there anything else I can get you? 128 00:09:59,099 --> 00:10:00,430 A gun. 129 00:10:01,976 --> 00:10:06,140 We don't really do guns anymore. 130 00:10:06,523 --> 00:10:08,104 Just get him a gun. 131 00:10:08,525 --> 00:10:09,810 Right, a gun. 132 00:10:16,449 --> 00:10:19,532 Right. Haven't actually done one of these before. 133 00:10:20,703 --> 00:10:22,819 "It is my obligation under section 14 134 00:10:22,914 --> 00:10:24,767 "of the health and safety directive to inform you 135 00:10:24,791 --> 00:10:27,453 "that the equipment with which you are about to be issued 136 00:10:27,544 --> 00:10:29,455 ‘can cause injury and bodily harm. 137 00:10:33,383 --> 00:10:35,999 "Furthermore, any agents with nut allergies 138 00:10:36,094 --> 00:10:37,279 "should be aware that traces of cashew oil..." 139 00:10:37,303 --> 00:10:38,634 Thank you. 140 00:10:41,266 --> 00:10:42,676 Right, transport. 141 00:10:46,479 --> 00:10:48,515 So, take any hybrid you want. 142 00:11:04,414 --> 00:11:05,654 I'll take this one. 143 00:11:05,915 --> 00:11:08,952 Oh, don't be ridiculous, English. This car is a relic. 144 00:11:09,043 --> 00:11:11,830 Drinks petrol, leaks oll and has no passive, 145 00:11:11,921 --> 00:11:13,582 let alone active safety features. 146 00:11:13,798 --> 00:11:15,276 Do you know what else it doesn't have, sir? 147 00:11:15,300 --> 00:11:18,042 Satellite navigation or a single computer chip. 148 00:11:18,136 --> 00:11:21,378 Making it completely invisible to a digital enemy. 149 00:11:23,391 --> 00:11:25,473 The equipment agent English requested, sir. 150 00:11:25,560 --> 00:11:26,766 Thank you. 151 00:11:27,896 --> 00:11:29,682 Phone, bough? Yeah. 152 00:11:32,859 --> 00:11:36,067 That hi-tech villain of yours will never see us coming. 153 00:11:53,588 --> 00:11:55,419 Let's see what they've given us. 154 00:11:56,132 --> 00:12:00,842 Exoskeleton, exploding cotton buds, the old shoebox inflatable. 155 00:12:00,929 --> 00:12:02,135 Hmm. 156 00:12:03,097 --> 00:12:07,466 Ooh, what are these? Instant release super high energy pills. 157 00:12:07,685 --> 00:12:11,803 Like sticking your fingers in an electric socket. Highly recommended. 158 00:12:12,732 --> 00:12:15,849 Right, so, the red ones must be the total knockout sleeping pills. 159 00:12:15,985 --> 00:12:17,065 Correct. 160 00:12:17,153 --> 00:12:19,439 Hmm. Probably worth labeling these. 161 00:12:19,530 --> 00:12:20,565 Oh. 162 00:12:20,657 --> 00:12:23,069 Look, sir. Sweeties. 163 00:12:24,077 --> 00:12:25,157 Ooh. 164 00:12:25,703 --> 00:12:27,443 Hang on a minute. 165 00:12:27,580 --> 00:12:29,411 I always did love a jelly baby. 166 00:12:29,499 --> 00:12:32,582 I wouldn't if I was you, bough. "Jelly" is short for gelignite. 167 00:12:32,669 --> 00:12:34,438 One bite and it'll take the top of your head off 168 00:12:34,462 --> 00:12:36,123 along with the roof of the car. 169 00:12:36,714 --> 00:12:38,454 So, what does this do? 170 00:12:39,717 --> 00:12:41,582 It's a mixtape, bough. 171 00:12:46,015 --> 00:12:48,677 - So, destination? - South of France, sir. 172 00:12:48,768 --> 00:12:50,759 That cyber attack seems to have been launched 173 00:12:50,853 --> 00:12:53,310 from the Wi-Fi signal of a hotel in antibes. 174 00:13:38,067 --> 00:13:41,355 Sir? Sir, I've just had a fax through from hq. 175 00:13:41,779 --> 00:13:44,896 Background checks on all the guests that accessed the Wi-Fi network. 176 00:13:44,991 --> 00:13:47,107 You see? Who needs email? 177 00:13:52,874 --> 00:13:54,114 Um... 178 00:13:54,208 --> 00:13:56,540 One name has raised a red flag, sir. 179 00:13:57,337 --> 00:14:00,249 Sebastian lynch, ex-army and military intelligence. 180 00:14:00,506 --> 00:14:03,339 Now selling his services to the highest bidder. 181 00:14:03,634 --> 00:14:06,296 Where do we find him? Directly ahead, sir. 182 00:14:07,972 --> 00:14:11,180 He's got an 8:00 reservation at the cote de roc restaurant. 183 00:14:21,778 --> 00:14:24,986 The problem's going to be getting close enough for a full surveillance, sir. 184 00:14:25,239 --> 00:14:27,150 Not necessarily. 185 00:14:43,966 --> 00:14:47,049 Oh, darling, I've just gotta get this. Two seconds. 186 00:14:47,637 --> 00:14:51,971 Simple plan, two parts. You provide the distraction, I'll get the phone. 187 00:14:52,058 --> 00:14:54,390 Yes, sir. And from now on, 188 00:14:54,769 --> 00:14:59,729 perhaps we should sound like French waiters. 189 00:15:01,401 --> 00:15:03,266 French waiters? 190 00:15:04,153 --> 00:15:05,393 Yees. 191 00:15:06,948 --> 00:15:08,108 Go on. 192 00:15:13,871 --> 00:15:15,907 Are you finished now, Sebastian? 193 00:15:17,208 --> 00:15:18,698 Bread roll? 194 00:15:18,960 --> 00:15:20,040 Yes, thank you. 195 00:15:20,420 --> 00:15:22,376 Excellent choice, madame. 196 00:15:23,840 --> 00:15:25,250 Good evening. 197 00:15:25,842 --> 00:15:27,423 How are you? 198 00:15:29,220 --> 00:15:30,710 Bread roll, sir? 199 00:15:30,847 --> 00:15:32,257 Yes. Thank you. 200 00:15:37,270 --> 00:15:38,555 One second. 201 00:15:38,855 --> 00:15:40,766 Excuse me, would you mind? 202 00:15:41,607 --> 00:15:43,814 Oh, yes. Evening. 203 00:15:44,402 --> 00:15:45,482 Evening. 204 00:15:59,834 --> 00:16:01,165 Thank you. 205 00:16:15,433 --> 00:16:16,593 Where's my phone? 206 00:16:18,269 --> 00:16:19,634 That is your phone. 207 00:16:21,731 --> 00:16:23,562 Ooh. 208 00:16:28,237 --> 00:16:29,237 Thank you. 209 00:16:30,531 --> 00:16:31,566 Monsieur. 210 00:16:32,742 --> 00:16:36,030 The, uh, shell on my wife's lobster, could you remove it, please? 211 00:16:38,247 --> 00:16:39,407 Yees. 212 00:16:40,208 --> 00:16:42,119 Uh... um... 213 00:16:42,376 --> 00:16:43,536 Hmm. 214 00:16:47,548 --> 00:16:49,834 Let me crack it for you. 215 00:17:03,689 --> 00:17:05,020 Ow! Oh! 216 00:17:05,816 --> 00:17:06,976 Owl 217 00:17:38,432 --> 00:17:39,592 hello? 218 00:17:42,687 --> 00:17:44,973 Steve, I'll have to call you back. Call you back. 219 00:17:47,233 --> 00:17:48,473 Give me a sec. Hang on. 220 00:17:49,902 --> 00:17:51,438 What is going on? 221 00:17:54,949 --> 00:17:56,985 Sebastian, don't get involved. 222 00:18:00,329 --> 00:18:01,660 Ah. 223 00:18:05,876 --> 00:18:08,333 What is he doing? I don't know. He's a fool. 224 00:18:09,422 --> 00:18:11,003 There we are. 225 00:18:13,259 --> 00:18:14,465 Voila. 226 00:18:21,851 --> 00:18:24,092 Hmm. Bon appétit. 227 00:18:27,231 --> 00:18:30,348 I will talk to the manager. I will talk to the manager. 228 00:18:39,535 --> 00:18:41,617 Textbook, bough. 229 00:18:46,083 --> 00:18:47,914 Just holiday snaps, sir. 230 00:18:49,128 --> 00:18:51,039 Wait a minute, this photo. 231 00:18:51,297 --> 00:18:55,131 It was taken the same day our villain accessed the Wi-Fi, and look. 232 00:18:59,555 --> 00:19:00,920 Whoever was on that yacht 233 00:19:01,015 --> 00:19:03,757 could easily have used the hotel's Wi-Fi, 234 00:19:03,851 --> 00:19:07,014 sent that signal and then just sailed away. 235 00:19:07,563 --> 00:19:12,227 I think it's time we paid the dot calm a visit. 236 00:19:24,955 --> 00:19:25,955 Algorithms. 237 00:19:26,040 --> 00:19:28,247 We are surrounded by them. 238 00:19:28,334 --> 00:19:30,495 Algorithms run our lives, 239 00:19:30,586 --> 00:19:35,046 choose our TV shows, stream our music. Even find us a date. 240 00:19:37,093 --> 00:19:38,833 I know this chap, don't I? 241 00:19:38,969 --> 00:19:42,211 Yes, he's that silicon valley billionaire who dated a Kardashian. 242 00:19:42,306 --> 00:19:45,013 Two Kardashians and a black-eyed pea. Keep watching. 243 00:19:45,184 --> 00:19:48,426 But supposing there was an algorithm for an entire country. 244 00:19:48,521 --> 00:19:52,105 A single algorithm that could be applied to every one of its problems. 245 00:19:52,358 --> 00:19:56,522 A single algorithm that could take a second-rate nation and make it 246 00:19:57,071 --> 00:19:58,936 world class. 247 00:20:00,282 --> 00:20:02,694 Every nation is awash with data. 248 00:20:03,411 --> 00:20:08,030 So now, more than ever, we need to put that data to work for the people. 249 00:20:08,541 --> 00:20:11,408 These few lines of code will deliver the kind of change 250 00:20:11,544 --> 00:20:14,286 they have been dreaming of their entire lives. 251 00:20:14,422 --> 00:20:17,459 I am Xander. I love data. 252 00:20:20,678 --> 00:20:22,418 He's so clever. 253 00:20:22,555 --> 00:20:25,467 He's young, he's sexy, he's insanely successful. 254 00:20:25,599 --> 00:20:28,557 Just the qualities we need people to associate with me. 255 00:20:29,895 --> 00:20:30,930 Yes, prime minister. 256 00:20:31,063 --> 00:20:33,554 And they will do when he starts working with us. 257 00:20:33,691 --> 00:20:36,273 But why would a silicon valley billionaire work with us? 258 00:20:36,402 --> 00:20:39,109 Just get him into number 10 and let me work on him. 259 00:20:39,196 --> 00:20:40,606 Yes, ma'am. Go on. 260 00:20:43,534 --> 00:20:44,774 Oh, god, now what? 261 00:20:45,327 --> 00:20:46,888 There's been another attack, prime minister. 262 00:20:46,912 --> 00:20:48,243 Oh! Air traffic control. 263 00:20:48,914 --> 00:20:51,781 Someone's rerouted every flight in Europe to luton. 264 00:20:51,917 --> 00:20:54,104 For god's sake, tell me the agent you've got in the field 265 00:20:54,128 --> 00:20:55,834 is making some progress? 266 00:21:05,306 --> 00:21:08,298 So, how are we gonna find the location of that yacht, sir? 267 00:21:08,434 --> 00:21:11,767 Very easily, bough. We ring mi7. 268 00:21:16,025 --> 00:21:19,358 Hello, hello? Yes, I need the location of a boat called... 269 00:21:23,657 --> 00:21:26,820 Hello? Hello, yes. A boat called the dot calm. 270 00:21:27,536 --> 00:21:29,697 Yes, it's a play on words. Yeah. 271 00:21:30,039 --> 00:21:31,039 Where? 272 00:21:37,880 --> 00:21:39,711 Looks about half a mile out, sir. 273 00:21:40,758 --> 00:21:42,999 Do we wanna try and swim it or... 274 00:21:43,135 --> 00:21:46,548 No, bough. This is a job for the shoebox inflatable. 275 00:21:46,680 --> 00:21:48,295 No, don't open it in the car, sir! 276 00:21:54,814 --> 00:21:57,806 Can you reach your door handle? 277 00:22:00,236 --> 00:22:01,817 No, sir. 278 00:22:02,321 --> 00:22:04,653 I'll try my side. 279 00:22:22,049 --> 00:22:26,042 Right, bough, our aim is to get on board without anyone noticing. 280 00:22:26,595 --> 00:22:28,256 And how are we gonna do it? 281 00:22:28,472 --> 00:22:30,838 Magnetic boots. Brilliant, sir. 282 00:22:31,725 --> 00:22:33,135 Simple mechanism. 283 00:22:33,269 --> 00:22:36,386 Left switch activates left boot. Right switch activates right. 284 00:22:37,106 --> 00:22:38,937 Okay, let's go. 285 00:22:53,831 --> 00:22:59,326 Remember, the absolutely vital element of this mission is surprise. 286 00:23:21,025 --> 00:23:22,878 Now, you have to get up pretty early in the morning 287 00:23:22,902 --> 00:23:25,018 to outwit British intelligence. 288 00:23:31,201 --> 00:23:32,281 Quick! 289 00:23:39,460 --> 00:23:41,291 Good evening, gentlemen. 290 00:23:42,588 --> 00:23:44,579 Shall we start with your names? 291 00:23:45,716 --> 00:23:48,674 Clearly you have no idea who you're dealing with. 292 00:23:49,678 --> 00:23:52,010 That's why I'm starting with your names. 293 00:23:52,556 --> 00:23:54,421 Actually, would you mind coming down here? 294 00:23:54,558 --> 00:23:57,220 It's really hard to have a conversation like this. 295 00:23:58,604 --> 00:24:00,265 I have a better idea. 296 00:24:07,947 --> 00:24:09,653 It's no good, it won't move, sir. 297 00:24:10,449 --> 00:24:12,360 We'll see about that. 298 00:24:12,493 --> 00:24:14,825 Low-intensity exploding cotton bud. 299 00:24:18,666 --> 00:24:21,203 That's quite a powerful charge for such a small space, sir. 300 00:24:21,293 --> 00:24:22,703 Oh, nonsense. 301 00:24:24,964 --> 00:24:27,125 There will just be a slight pop. 302 00:24:35,140 --> 00:24:38,052 Shall we locate the hold and look for the source of that signal? 303 00:24:38,143 --> 00:24:42,136 I think we should locate the hold and look for the source of that signal! 304 00:24:45,484 --> 00:24:46,644 Come on! 305 00:24:58,539 --> 00:25:01,030 I'd say we have our villain, bough! 306 00:25:01,166 --> 00:25:03,327 You need to keep your voice down, sir. 307 00:25:04,211 --> 00:25:06,202 And we're not going to lose him. 308 00:25:19,727 --> 00:25:21,968 Hand me the sherbet fountain. 309 00:25:24,481 --> 00:25:27,473 Three sucks and the location transmitter is activated. 310 00:25:27,568 --> 00:25:31,356 This gin palace will show up as a hostile from 30,000 feet. 311 00:25:31,905 --> 00:25:32,940 Hmm. 312 00:25:39,830 --> 00:25:42,663 This is now an enemy target. 313 00:25:48,088 --> 00:25:49,749 Aniseed balls. 314 00:26:04,855 --> 00:26:08,097 If you'd wanted to kill me, you would have already done so. 315 00:26:11,528 --> 00:26:13,359 Till we meet again. 316 00:26:21,497 --> 00:26:22,657 Owl 317 00:26:27,252 --> 00:26:29,538 well, that was sooner than I expected. 318 00:26:33,383 --> 00:26:36,466 Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow. 319 00:26:40,015 --> 00:26:41,880 Who do you think she is, sir? 320 00:26:41,975 --> 00:26:44,637 Well, if she's not the owner of that yacht, 321 00:26:44,728 --> 00:26:46,184 then she knows who is. 322 00:26:47,314 --> 00:26:49,805 Either way, she's the key to this case. 323 00:26:52,152 --> 00:26:55,189 Is it true you were teaching, sir? Before all this blew up? 324 00:26:56,490 --> 00:26:58,731 If by "teaching" you mean 325 00:26:58,867 --> 00:27:03,827 scouting for potential intelligence operatives then yes, I was. 326 00:27:03,914 --> 00:27:04,994 Hmm. 327 00:27:05,082 --> 00:27:09,746 I actually got married, sir. I don't know if you heard. 328 00:27:11,338 --> 00:27:12,338 No. 329 00:27:13,006 --> 00:27:14,337 Hmm. 330 00:27:14,550 --> 00:27:16,131 Yeah, Lydia. 331 00:27:16,218 --> 00:27:17,253 Lovely girl. 332 00:27:21,014 --> 00:27:23,676 You never think about getting hitched yourself, sir? 333 00:27:24,935 --> 00:27:29,429 This is no life for a married man, bough. The danger, the constant travel. 334 00:27:29,523 --> 00:27:30,603 Here you go, sir. 335 00:27:30,691 --> 00:27:32,682 More Lydia's life than mine, sir. 336 00:27:34,153 --> 00:27:35,438 She's in the Navy, you see. 337 00:27:36,405 --> 00:27:37,565 What, as a cook? 338 00:27:38,407 --> 00:27:41,615 Or some kind of seagoing secretary or... 339 00:27:41,702 --> 00:27:44,569 Oh, no, sir. She's the captain of a nuclear submarine. 340 00:27:45,914 --> 00:27:47,245 Oh, right. Hmm. 341 00:27:49,668 --> 00:27:52,410 Do you think we should get some petrol for the Aston, sir? 342 00:27:53,881 --> 00:27:58,124 No. An Aston Martin is surprisingly economical, bough. 343 00:28:00,179 --> 00:28:03,171 Besides, it looks like we're in business. 344 00:28:17,237 --> 00:28:18,397 Come on. 345 00:28:25,621 --> 00:28:27,577 Looks like an electric car, sir. 346 00:28:27,664 --> 00:28:30,121 Yes, and sounds like a nose hair trimmer. 347 00:28:32,252 --> 00:28:33,833 A bunch of triple-a batteries 348 00:28:33,921 --> 00:28:36,537 is no match for old-fashioned British horsepower. 349 00:28:58,070 --> 00:29:01,437 Look at her cornering. Seems so effortless, doesn't it, sir? 350 00:29:42,489 --> 00:29:43,604 The what? 351 00:29:43,699 --> 00:29:45,940 The missile, bough, the one with the tear gas warhead. 352 00:29:46,034 --> 00:29:48,571 But they're just cyclists, sir. We'll get past in a minute. 353 00:29:48,662 --> 00:29:49,902 They're French cyclists, bough, 354 00:29:49,955 --> 00:29:52,662 and they're obstructing her majesty's secret service. 355 00:30:00,507 --> 00:30:01,838 Wiper stalk is armed, sir. 356 00:30:11,143 --> 00:30:12,143 Sorry. 357 00:30:12,602 --> 00:30:14,888 Terribly sorry. We do apologize. 358 00:30:15,022 --> 00:30:17,183 Stop it, bough, you'll only encourage them. 359 00:30:32,706 --> 00:30:35,368 What are we gonna do now, sir? Patience, bough. 360 00:30:35,917 --> 00:30:38,829 Driving like that, her battery will be dead any moment. 361 00:30:38,962 --> 00:30:42,204 And she'll roll to a humiliating stop. 362 00:31:01,485 --> 00:31:05,069 Bough, it is your job to keep an eye on the fuel Gauge. 363 00:31:12,746 --> 00:31:14,907 Very impressive driving, Mr... 364 00:31:16,625 --> 00:31:17,705 Golightly. 365 00:31:18,752 --> 00:31:20,868 Basil golightly. 366 00:31:23,256 --> 00:31:25,872 And you're rather useful yourself, miss... 367 00:31:26,551 --> 00:31:29,588 Bhuletova. Ophelia bhuletova. 368 00:31:29,763 --> 00:31:31,003 Hmm. 369 00:31:31,098 --> 00:31:32,838 And this is... 370 00:31:33,225 --> 00:31:34,225 Colin. 371 00:31:35,852 --> 00:31:38,013 I thought we were using fake names. 372 00:31:38,939 --> 00:31:40,679 That is a fake name. 373 00:31:43,527 --> 00:31:44,858 Oh, right. 374 00:31:46,863 --> 00:31:48,728 Yes, this is Colin, 375 00:31:49,991 --> 00:31:51,106 and I'm... 376 00:31:55,288 --> 00:31:56,403 "Dasil." 377 00:31:56,873 --> 00:31:57,873 Dasil. 378 00:31:58,291 --> 00:31:59,291 Basil. 379 00:32:00,544 --> 00:32:02,751 Well, basil, 380 00:32:03,380 --> 00:32:05,060 maybe there is a simpler way of doing this. 381 00:32:05,757 --> 00:32:07,167 Over a drink perhaps? 382 00:32:07,259 --> 00:32:09,625 Well, that would be lovely. 383 00:32:09,719 --> 00:32:14,383 Shall we say the bar at the hotel de Paris in cagnes-sur-mer? 8:00? 384 00:32:14,474 --> 00:32:16,556 Mmm. It's a date. 385 00:32:21,940 --> 00:32:22,940 Well, 386 00:32:23,525 --> 00:32:27,689 I think my "running out of fuel" ruse worked pretty well. 387 00:32:28,113 --> 00:32:29,319 Mmm. 388 00:32:33,076 --> 00:32:34,156 What? 389 00:32:34,327 --> 00:32:36,727 Er, junior doctors. They've confirmed they are going on strike 390 00:32:36,788 --> 00:32:38,628 and the tube drivers are coming out in support. 391 00:32:38,665 --> 00:32:41,561 Oh, god. Leader of the opposition, has he come round from his heart surgery? 392 00:32:41,585 --> 00:32:42,620 Yes, prime minister. 393 00:32:42,711 --> 00:32:45,828 Oh, Jesus Christ, when will something go right for me? What do you want? 394 00:32:46,631 --> 00:32:48,667 They've hit us again, prime minister. 395 00:32:49,217 --> 00:32:51,708 Huh? Hacked into the central traffic control system. 396 00:32:52,012 --> 00:32:55,425 Yes, they've turned every traffic light in London to red. 397 00:32:58,059 --> 00:32:59,674 Where's my bloody drink? 398 00:33:00,437 --> 00:33:02,803 You've got to be joking? Vodka tonic, no ice, no tonic. 399 00:33:02,898 --> 00:33:05,435 Yes, ma'am. Oh, and Mr. volta has arrived, ma'am. 400 00:33:09,946 --> 00:33:12,562 Mr. volta, welcome to downing street. 401 00:33:12,699 --> 00:33:15,782 I have read so much about this wonderful building. 402 00:33:15,911 --> 00:33:19,403 Is this the stone triple staircase designed by William Kent? 403 00:33:19,539 --> 00:33:22,702 Um, yes, it probably is. I can't swear to it. 404 00:33:22,834 --> 00:33:25,371 - Can we do a quick... - Needs Photoshop. 405 00:33:25,462 --> 00:33:27,953 Oh! This way. Hmm. 406 00:33:28,089 --> 00:33:29,875 I am horribly late, I do apologize. 407 00:33:30,008 --> 00:33:32,795 It's the traffic, it's the one thing I don't love about London. 408 00:33:32,928 --> 00:33:35,340 Yes, well, I must admit we are having a slight problem 409 00:33:35,430 --> 00:33:37,341 with the lights at the moment. Nothing major. 410 00:33:37,474 --> 00:33:40,466 If you wanted, I could take a look? It is kind of what I do. 411 00:33:40,560 --> 00:33:43,176 I think it's actually a little bit more complex than... 412 00:33:43,313 --> 00:33:46,680 Xander, get a web address for London's traffic control center. 413 00:33:47,359 --> 00:33:51,068 Here is the login page, Jason. Do you have a password? 414 00:33:53,532 --> 00:33:54,692 Um... 415 00:33:57,827 --> 00:34:00,660 I won't tell if you won't. Right you are. 416 00:34:01,957 --> 00:34:05,575 Bypassing security. Security bypassed. 417 00:34:05,669 --> 00:34:06,669 Oh, that's terrific. 418 00:34:08,046 --> 00:34:11,209 Someone is hacking you. Oh, I don't think so. 419 00:34:11,550 --> 00:34:15,384 Denied service attack. Yeah, primitive but effective. 420 00:34:16,513 --> 00:34:19,880 You know what we could try, rerouting all service requests 421 00:34:19,975 --> 00:34:22,091 to our server farm in Nevada. 422 00:34:23,103 --> 00:34:24,388 Um... I. 423 00:34:25,647 --> 00:34:27,387 Rerouting, Jason. 424 00:34:27,482 --> 00:34:29,222 Rerouting complete. 425 00:34:33,530 --> 00:34:35,270 Crikey. 426 00:34:36,908 --> 00:34:39,900 So, what was it you wanted to talk to me about? 427 00:34:40,245 --> 00:34:42,361 You, Jason. 428 00:34:43,540 --> 00:34:44,871 Get out. 429 00:34:45,000 --> 00:34:46,536 I want to talk about you. 430 00:35:01,016 --> 00:35:03,883 Excellent, bough. Nearly there. 431 00:35:04,769 --> 00:35:06,225 Nearly there. 432 00:35:06,354 --> 00:35:09,346 This is actually a really nice hotel, bough. 433 00:35:10,108 --> 00:35:12,975 I'm turning to the right. 434 00:35:25,999 --> 00:35:29,958 Shall one of us keep miss bhuletova busy while the other searches her room, sir? 435 00:35:30,170 --> 00:35:34,163 Good idea, bough. Alert me if you find anything. 436 00:35:56,321 --> 00:35:57,481 Mr. golightly. 437 00:36:00,492 --> 00:36:01,492 Oh... 438 00:36:02,160 --> 00:36:03,195 Indeed. 439 00:36:04,204 --> 00:36:07,287 I thought perhaps you weren't coming. On the contrary. 440 00:36:07,457 --> 00:36:10,073 Wild horses couldn't keep me away. 441 00:36:10,835 --> 00:36:11,950 Madame? Monsieur? 442 00:36:12,504 --> 00:36:14,415 Evening. What would you like? 443 00:36:15,131 --> 00:36:18,749 I'm feeling a little homesick tonight. I'll have a Moscow mule. 444 00:36:22,305 --> 00:36:24,637 And I'll have a London... 445 00:36:24,974 --> 00:36:26,965 Lemming, please. 446 00:36:28,520 --> 00:36:30,351 I'm not sure, what... 447 00:36:31,648 --> 00:36:34,981 It's, uh, gin, vodka, 448 00:36:36,444 --> 00:36:37,775 darmagnac, 449 00:36:38,530 --> 00:36:39,815 Sherry, 450 00:36:40,490 --> 00:36:42,981 with just a little bit of parmesan. 451 00:36:49,165 --> 00:36:52,874 So, what brings you to the south of France, miss... 452 00:36:52,961 --> 00:36:54,371 Bhilli... bholly... 453 00:36:54,462 --> 00:36:55,668 Bhuletova. 454 00:36:56,172 --> 00:36:57,537 Bhuletova. 455 00:36:57,882 --> 00:36:59,668 I'm just visiting a friend of mine. 456 00:36:59,759 --> 00:37:00,874 Hmm. 457 00:37:03,930 --> 00:37:07,172 And would this friend be the owner of the dot calm? 458 00:37:08,351 --> 00:37:09,431 Hmm. 459 00:37:09,519 --> 00:37:10,725 Yes, he would. 460 00:37:16,526 --> 00:37:18,357 And what about you, 461 00:37:18,445 --> 00:37:19,445 basil? 462 00:37:19,612 --> 00:37:21,944 Oh, I'm just here on business. 463 00:37:22,198 --> 00:37:25,190 Although, it's rapidly turning into pleasure. 464 00:37:29,289 --> 00:37:31,029 Ooh! I love these. 465 00:37:36,254 --> 00:37:37,460 They're really hot. 466 00:37:46,514 --> 00:37:48,175 Are you all right? 467 00:37:48,600 --> 00:37:49,931 Yes, fine. 468 00:37:58,985 --> 00:38:00,020 Hmm. 469 00:38:06,493 --> 00:38:07,573 Cheers. 470 00:38:08,036 --> 00:38:11,199 I'm not sure I've ever met a man quite like you, basil. 471 00:38:12,207 --> 00:38:14,539 Let me clear up the uncertainty for you. 472 00:38:15,168 --> 00:38:16,533 You haven't. 473 00:38:30,767 --> 00:38:35,181 I'm sorry, basil. I have to get up really early tomorrow morning. 474 00:38:35,563 --> 00:38:37,099 Oh, that's a shame. 475 00:38:47,659 --> 00:38:49,320 How did you get on, sir? 476 00:38:49,452 --> 00:38:52,114 Oh, gosh, what a wonderful woman, bough. Wonderful. 477 00:38:52,247 --> 00:38:53,247 Right. 478 00:38:53,373 --> 00:38:55,238 Charming. Intelligent. 479 00:38:55,333 --> 00:38:59,042 Lovely sense of humor. And obviously entirely innocent. 480 00:38:59,170 --> 00:39:02,287 Although, I broke into her room and she does have three passports, sir. 481 00:39:02,382 --> 00:39:05,215 Romanian, Bulgarian, Russian. Different name in each. 482 00:39:05,844 --> 00:39:08,210 So she's been married to three different people. 483 00:39:08,346 --> 00:39:10,337 Not unusual in this day and age, bough. 484 00:39:10,473 --> 00:39:13,340 And I also found some garroting wire and two boxes of ammunition. 485 00:39:13,434 --> 00:39:18,269 Well, single woman, traveling alone, you can't be too careful. 486 00:39:19,440 --> 00:39:22,398 You don't think she might be a spy, sir? 487 00:39:22,861 --> 00:39:24,772 A spy? 488 00:39:25,530 --> 00:39:28,272 I think I know what a spy looks like, bough. 489 00:40:14,412 --> 00:40:15,743 On. 490 00:42:29,088 --> 00:42:30,373 Ohl 491 00:42:59,118 --> 00:43:00,233 ah. 492 00:43:25,728 --> 00:43:26,728 Sir? 493 00:43:27,021 --> 00:43:28,021 Sir! 494 00:43:29,357 --> 00:43:31,348 I just got off the phone to pin London. 495 00:43:31,442 --> 00:43:33,003 He's found out who the owner of that yacht is. 496 00:43:33,027 --> 00:43:34,027 Jason volta. 497 00:43:34,112 --> 00:43:36,319 The world's most powerful Internet billionaire, sir! 498 00:43:36,405 --> 00:43:37,770 And he's in London, right now. 499 00:43:37,865 --> 00:43:41,278 The prime minister is personally negotiating a trade deal with him. 500 00:43:42,286 --> 00:43:43,867 Well, what are we waiting for? 501 00:44:15,111 --> 00:44:17,944 Do you think we might slow down a little, sir? 502 00:44:18,739 --> 00:44:19,819 What? 503 00:44:21,993 --> 00:44:23,403 Never mind! 504 00:44:29,208 --> 00:44:31,449 With what appears to be another cyber attack, 505 00:44:31,544 --> 00:44:32,938 pressure is mounting oh the prime minister. 506 00:44:32,962 --> 00:44:34,918 Every train in england? Yes, sir. 507 00:44:35,006 --> 00:44:38,089 They're all trying to terminate at Bristol temple meads. 508 00:44:41,304 --> 00:44:42,339 Morning, sir! 509 00:44:42,430 --> 00:44:44,512 You see this, English? Yes! 510 00:44:45,433 --> 00:44:46,433 Please. 511 00:44:47,226 --> 00:44:48,557 Ooh! 512 00:44:49,145 --> 00:44:51,602 Tell me you've got something I can take to the prime minister. 513 00:44:51,689 --> 00:44:54,681 Would the name of the man responsible do, sir? 514 00:44:55,026 --> 00:44:56,607 Excellent, English, yes. 515 00:44:57,236 --> 00:44:59,522 It's Jason... 516 00:45:09,707 --> 00:45:12,164 Volta, sir. Jason volta. 517 00:45:12,585 --> 00:45:13,585 What? 518 00:45:13,753 --> 00:45:16,335 You're accusing the pm's knight in shining armor? 519 00:45:16,422 --> 00:45:18,253 I'd need hard evidence. 520 00:45:25,389 --> 00:45:26,720 Which... 521 00:45:27,475 --> 00:45:29,966 Is why agent English is proposing 522 00:45:30,061 --> 00:45:32,598 a penetration of volta's country estate in surrey. 523 00:45:32,813 --> 00:45:37,056 Yes, yes, yes, yes... 524 00:45:37,151 --> 00:45:39,483 Well, do what you have to do, English. 525 00:45:39,862 --> 00:45:41,853 But for god's sake, be discreet about it. 526 00:45:42,073 --> 00:45:44,109 Ohl! Oh. 527 00:45:44,200 --> 00:45:45,235 Good. 528 00:45:45,326 --> 00:45:46,406 Oh. Oh. 529 00:45:52,667 --> 00:45:54,373 "Virtual reality"? 530 00:45:54,502 --> 00:45:55,502 That's right, sir. 531 00:45:55,586 --> 00:45:57,946 P's built a computer model of the inside of volta's mansion. 532 00:45:58,005 --> 00:46:02,965 When you put on this headset, it will look and feel as if you are inside the house. 533 00:46:03,052 --> 00:46:06,510 You'll be able to open and close doors, walk up and down staircases, 534 00:46:06,597 --> 00:46:09,384 completely familiarize yourself with its layout. 535 00:46:09,475 --> 00:46:12,717 This floor moves in any direction. So you can walk... 536 00:46:13,980 --> 00:46:17,393 You can walk as far as you want in the virtual world 537 00:46:18,150 --> 00:46:20,607 without ever actually leaving this room. 538 00:46:20,987 --> 00:46:22,022 One thing though, sir. 539 00:46:23,239 --> 00:46:24,945 The experience can be very disorientating. 540 00:46:25,032 --> 00:46:26,238 It's completely immersive 541 00:46:26,325 --> 00:46:29,362 and some people lose all track of their actual surroundings. 542 00:46:29,453 --> 00:46:32,661 I think we can pretty much guarantee that's not gonna happen. 543 00:46:32,999 --> 00:46:35,331 I'll just need you to sign the health and safety releases. 544 00:46:35,668 --> 00:46:38,375 Would you excuse me while I find an iPad. 545 00:46:39,380 --> 00:46:42,668 Oh, go with him, bough. If we don't chivvy him along we'll be here all day. 546 00:46:48,723 --> 00:46:49,963 Hmm. 547 00:47:10,161 --> 00:47:11,321 Ah. 548 00:47:33,392 --> 00:47:34,392 Watch out! 549 00:48:02,671 --> 00:48:04,457 Door closing. 550 00:48:05,091 --> 00:48:06,422 Going down. 551 00:49:07,153 --> 00:49:08,313 Hey! 552 00:49:23,794 --> 00:49:25,689 I'm sorry, sir, but you're going to have to leave. 553 00:49:25,713 --> 00:49:26,748 Ow. 554 00:49:27,047 --> 00:49:28,082 Ow. 555 00:49:51,739 --> 00:49:54,856 So, we'll shortly be arriving at admiralty house. 556 00:49:54,992 --> 00:49:58,905 And, er, that actually used to be Oliver cromwell's own house. Um... 557 00:50:00,706 --> 00:50:02,037 Uh... 558 00:50:02,166 --> 00:50:05,658 And then we'll be going to horse guards parade. 559 00:50:08,422 --> 00:50:10,208 Perhaps you'd like to sit down, sir? 560 00:50:12,968 --> 00:50:14,833 Hey, whoa! 561 00:50:19,475 --> 00:50:20,885 I've got them! 562 00:50:25,564 --> 00:50:29,523 However, the agent we have on this mission is confident he's making major progress. 563 00:50:29,610 --> 00:50:32,397 And, uh, yes, we have a potential suspect, he's been identified. 564 00:50:32,905 --> 00:50:36,898 And further covert investigations are now ongoing. 565 00:50:38,202 --> 00:50:39,408 Yes, quite. 566 00:50:39,662 --> 00:50:42,574 So I expect to have more to announce on this front 567 00:50:44,333 --> 00:50:45,493 shortly. 568 00:50:59,390 --> 00:51:00,550 On. 569 00:51:01,433 --> 00:51:02,433 Sir? 570 00:51:02,518 --> 00:51:03,633 Mmm? 571 00:51:03,727 --> 00:51:06,560 Is everything all right, sir? Yes, I've done it, bough. 572 00:51:06,814 --> 00:51:09,556 Child's play. Don't know what all the fuss was about. 573 00:51:23,163 --> 00:51:25,154 Pleasure to see you again, prime minister. 574 00:51:26,792 --> 00:51:29,704 It's a hologram. Apparently you just speak to it normally. 575 00:51:31,380 --> 00:51:33,541 The pleasure's all mine. 576 00:51:33,632 --> 00:51:37,500 Hate to rush you, but was there something in particular you needed? 577 00:51:37,595 --> 00:51:40,257 Actually, I was just calling really to see 578 00:51:40,347 --> 00:51:44,386 if you had had a chance to think things over. 579 00:51:44,643 --> 00:51:45,643 I have. 580 00:51:48,147 --> 00:51:51,731 But the thing is, Fiona, I just don't really do other people's security. 581 00:51:51,817 --> 00:51:55,184 Not that I don't want to. But your infrastructure is old. 582 00:51:55,529 --> 00:51:57,257 Plus the only way I could keep you secure in the meantime 583 00:51:57,281 --> 00:52:00,819 would be by storing all your data on my own servers. 584 00:52:00,909 --> 00:52:03,025 Obviously, that would be... Yes. Jason, 585 00:52:03,120 --> 00:52:07,079 what I really want to do is announce this tie-up at the g12 meeting. 586 00:52:07,958 --> 00:52:10,290 Do we have a deal? 587 00:52:19,470 --> 00:52:21,131 Good luck, sir. 588 00:52:39,823 --> 00:52:40,823 Hey. 589 00:52:40,991 --> 00:52:41,991 Sir? 590 00:52:42,076 --> 00:52:44,567 I said to get the chopper ready. Right there. 591 00:52:44,662 --> 00:52:45,868 Sir. Right away, sir. 592 00:52:46,038 --> 00:52:47,244 Thank you. 593 00:52:47,456 --> 00:52:49,037 - Tyler, come in. - Copy. 594 00:52:49,458 --> 00:52:51,414 Tyler, can you prepare the chopper now? 595 00:52:51,543 --> 00:52:54,330 We'll have everything ready for you in a couple of minutes. 596 00:53:25,661 --> 00:53:28,653 We can't keep meeting like this, Mr. golightly. 597 00:53:28,747 --> 00:53:30,078 Oh, yes. 598 00:53:30,165 --> 00:53:33,123 Or do you want to end this charade and tell me your real name? 599 00:53:33,419 --> 00:53:34,955 Go. 600 00:53:37,881 --> 00:53:41,749 There's so much you don't understand about this world you've got caught up in. 601 00:53:42,845 --> 00:53:46,212 Spare me the idiot act. You're British secret service. 602 00:53:47,433 --> 00:53:51,176 Impressive work in France, by the way. When did you realize I was a spy, too? 603 00:53:52,688 --> 00:53:55,976 Oh, pretty much straight away. 604 00:53:56,859 --> 00:53:57,894 Hmm. 605 00:54:00,279 --> 00:54:04,272 I've spent two years undercover. Simple operation until you showed up. 606 00:54:04,491 --> 00:54:06,231 And I like to keep things simple. 607 00:54:07,119 --> 00:54:08,984 "Simple" is my middle name. 608 00:54:13,250 --> 00:54:15,115 It would seem you've got a choice to make. 609 00:54:17,755 --> 00:54:21,668 Temporary suspension of hostilities? A short-term partnership? 610 00:54:22,843 --> 00:54:24,003 Agreed. Hmm. 611 00:54:30,642 --> 00:54:31,802 Hmm. 612 00:54:31,977 --> 00:54:34,935 Politicians are even more gullible than venture capitalists. 613 00:54:35,022 --> 00:54:36,022 That is correct. 614 00:54:36,106 --> 00:54:37,386 Get me a copy of the target list. 615 00:54:37,649 --> 00:54:39,981 We'll hit them once more just to be on the safe side. 616 00:54:40,527 --> 00:54:43,644 Give me your phone. You don't have a phone? 617 00:54:43,781 --> 00:54:46,147 A phone will give anyone your precise location. 618 00:54:46,241 --> 00:54:48,903 And yet they're so useful for making phone calls. 619 00:54:48,994 --> 00:54:51,360 Excellent. I'm not phoning anyone. 620 00:54:52,122 --> 00:54:55,034 I'm gathering evidence. 621 00:54:56,919 --> 00:55:00,753 The target list, Jason. Four iconic central London landmarks. 622 00:55:00,881 --> 00:55:02,963 Make your selection. Number three. 623 00:55:03,091 --> 00:55:04,922 The London eye. 624 00:55:06,178 --> 00:55:11,389 This cyber attack could potentially impact 16,000 visitors. 625 00:55:16,730 --> 00:55:19,221 I found him snooping around upstairs. 626 00:55:20,317 --> 00:55:22,228 And who are you exactly? 627 00:55:22,361 --> 00:55:23,817 I'm not telling you anything. 628 00:55:23,904 --> 00:55:24,939 Hmm. 629 00:55:25,989 --> 00:55:28,150 Face recognition software launched. 630 00:55:28,492 --> 00:55:31,950 Johnny English is a geography teacher from lincolnshire. 631 00:55:32,412 --> 00:55:36,246 Rather heavily armed for a lesson on European capitals, Mr. English. 632 00:55:38,752 --> 00:55:39,958 Any thoughts, sweetheart? 633 00:55:40,963 --> 00:55:42,874 He's British intelligence. 634 00:55:44,174 --> 00:55:46,335 And there you have I, two words that have 635 00:55:46,426 --> 00:55:49,338 no right being in the same sentence together. 636 00:55:49,721 --> 00:55:52,713 Do you really think I came here alone? 637 00:55:53,100 --> 00:55:56,388 I have a team of crack operatives out there, right now, 638 00:55:56,478 --> 00:55:57,968 just waiting to strike. 639 00:55:58,063 --> 00:55:59,348 Uh-huh. 640 00:56:04,444 --> 00:56:05,479 Sir! 641 00:56:08,699 --> 00:56:10,985 What has happened to this country? 642 00:56:11,118 --> 00:56:13,825 How is it possible that less than a century ago 643 00:56:13,912 --> 00:56:16,904 the British empire ruled a quarter of the globe 644 00:56:17,040 --> 00:56:20,624 and now it's relying on someone 645 00:56:21,795 --> 00:56:24,207 like you? 646 00:56:28,760 --> 00:56:29,795 Hey! Stop! 647 00:56:31,138 --> 00:56:32,138 Stop him? 648 00:56:46,069 --> 00:56:47,069 Go. 649 00:56:55,537 --> 00:56:56,947 - Close the gates. - Yes, sir. 650 00:57:07,841 --> 00:57:09,172 Help! Stop! 651 00:57:09,259 --> 00:57:11,625 Obstacle directly ahead, Mrs. trattner. 652 00:57:11,762 --> 00:57:15,675 Check your mirrors and bring the car to a stop. 653 00:57:18,018 --> 00:57:19,724 Er, excuse me. Hey. 654 00:57:21,730 --> 00:57:22,730 Thank you. 655 00:57:26,318 --> 00:57:27,318 Drive! 656 00:57:29,613 --> 00:57:30,613 Excuse me. 657 00:57:30,697 --> 00:57:32,437 What... what do you think you're doing? 658 00:57:32,532 --> 00:57:35,114 Excuse me! You are not a qualified instructor. 659 00:57:44,294 --> 00:57:46,535 But what about my instructor? Turn left. 660 00:57:46,630 --> 00:57:47,665 On. 661 00:57:48,548 --> 00:57:49,583 Turn right. 662 00:57:54,012 --> 00:57:56,549 For future reference, I'm on your left. 663 00:57:56,890 --> 00:58:00,382 Please, stop. I can't do this anymore! 664 00:58:04,773 --> 00:58:06,354 I can't see anything now! 665 00:58:06,858 --> 00:58:07,858 Good. 666 00:58:19,538 --> 00:58:21,494 When I say "go," turn sharp right. 667 00:58:21,581 --> 00:58:22,787 Uh-huh. 668 00:58:26,586 --> 00:58:28,827 Three, two, one. 669 00:58:29,339 --> 00:58:30,339 Gol 670 00:58:33,593 --> 00:58:35,504 and straighten up, straighten up, straighten up. 671 00:58:35,595 --> 00:58:36,801 And go! 672 00:58:37,597 --> 00:58:38,597 Let's go, let's go. 673 00:58:47,399 --> 00:58:49,310 Oh, now just bear left a little. Good. 674 00:58:49,735 --> 00:58:51,100 Straighten up, straighten up. 675 00:58:55,574 --> 00:58:56,574 Good! 676 00:59:00,704 --> 00:59:02,990 Well, that was very good, Mrs. trattner. 677 00:59:05,751 --> 00:59:07,958 I think you made some real progress today. 678 00:59:09,546 --> 00:59:11,002 You're not hearing me, English. 679 00:59:11,089 --> 00:59:14,152 Given the prime minister's new friendship with volta, the situation has changed. 680 00:59:14,176 --> 00:59:18,795 But the facts haven't, sir. That attack is volta's responsibility. 681 00:59:18,889 --> 00:59:21,346 According to you, but not according to anyone else. 682 00:59:21,433 --> 00:59:22,843 Is he here yet? 683 00:59:23,477 --> 00:59:25,843 Good afternoon, prime minister. So, this is, uh... 684 00:59:26,104 --> 00:59:28,891 English, prime minister. Johnny English. 685 00:59:29,191 --> 00:59:31,682 What exactly do you have to say for yourself? 686 00:59:31,985 --> 00:59:33,725 Rather a lot, actually. 687 00:59:34,029 --> 00:59:37,613 However, men like me don't deal in prevarication, prime minister, 688 00:59:37,699 --> 00:59:39,360 so let me get straight to the point. 689 00:59:39,451 --> 00:59:42,693 Jason volta is the man behind these attacks. 690 00:59:42,788 --> 00:59:45,370 And I have the evidence to prove it. 691 00:59:46,416 --> 00:59:50,125 I managed to record this inside volta's country lair. 692 00:59:50,253 --> 00:59:51,743 But I should warn you, prime minister, 693 00:59:51,880 --> 00:59:55,793 that what you're about to see is evil incarnate. 694 00:59:57,803 --> 00:59:59,009 Hmm. 695 01:00:01,223 --> 01:00:04,181 Here we are at Fifi's third birthday! 696 01:00:04,267 --> 01:00:06,508 And it's a very exciting day! 697 01:00:08,313 --> 01:00:11,055 Hip hip, hooray! Hip hip, hooray! 698 01:00:12,109 --> 01:00:15,272 Happy birthday to you 699 01:00:16,446 --> 01:00:20,280 happy birthday to you 700 01:00:21,660 --> 01:00:22,660 thank you. 701 01:00:23,120 --> 01:00:25,532 Can I just ask, what is wrong with you? 702 01:00:26,832 --> 01:00:29,198 The country is in a state of complete chaos. 703 01:00:29,292 --> 01:00:30,452 The press is wetting itself, 704 01:00:30,544 --> 01:00:32,500 and the only person capable of saving us 705 01:00:32,587 --> 01:00:34,828 is the man you're accusing of high treason. 706 01:00:35,799 --> 01:00:39,087 I was in the room myself when he gave the order, prime minister! 707 01:00:39,219 --> 01:00:40,425 But there was a... 708 01:00:40,512 --> 01:00:42,198 Do you know what I was in the room with, English? 709 01:00:42,222 --> 01:00:43,908 Your file, which I've read, in its entirety, 710 01:00:43,932 --> 01:00:45,012 and I have a few questions. 711 01:00:45,100 --> 01:00:46,636 Did you or did you not burn 712 01:00:46,726 --> 01:00:49,183 the cote de roc restaurant in antibes to the ground? 713 01:00:49,271 --> 01:00:50,351 Um... 714 01:00:50,438 --> 01:00:52,804 And did you or did you not fire a guided missile 715 01:00:52,941 --> 01:00:54,556 at a peloton of French cyclists? 716 01:00:55,110 --> 01:00:56,110 Well... 717 01:00:56,236 --> 01:00:57,646 Before commandeering an open-top bus 718 01:00:57,779 --> 01:00:59,895 and tossing the tour guide off the top deck, 719 01:01:00,031 --> 01:01:02,343 and then assaulting an 82-year-old grandmother in a sandwich shop 720 01:01:02,367 --> 01:01:04,608 before battering the employee of said sandwich shop 721 01:01:04,703 --> 01:01:06,614 with two organic sourdough baguettes? 722 01:01:07,747 --> 01:01:09,487 Uh, I don't remember the... 723 01:01:09,624 --> 01:01:12,707 Do you have any idea how hard itis to be me? 724 01:01:14,296 --> 01:01:15,911 - Uh... - Hmm? 725 01:01:16,840 --> 01:01:18,831 Do you have even the foggiest notion 726 01:01:18,967 --> 01:01:22,459 of how virtually impossible it is to get anything done 727 01:01:22,596 --> 01:01:27,260 in the face of events and facts and voters 728 01:01:27,392 --> 01:01:30,509 and that Tsunami of tosspots we call "the national press"? 729 01:01:30,645 --> 01:01:33,978 Finally I get the chance to do something good for my country, 730 01:01:34,065 --> 01:01:35,305 and what happens? 731 01:01:35,442 --> 01:01:38,024 The universe sends me you. 732 01:01:39,779 --> 01:01:41,315 Well, do you know what I say? 733 01:01:41,406 --> 01:01:44,318 I say, up the universe's arse! 734 01:01:44,451 --> 01:01:46,487 And do you know what else I say? You're fired. 735 01:01:46,578 --> 01:01:48,614 With immediate effect. Now get out! 736 01:01:48,997 --> 01:01:53,036 And make sure I never clap eyes on that imbecile ever again! 737 01:02:35,001 --> 01:02:36,832 What are you doing, sir? 738 01:02:37,921 --> 01:02:41,038 What do you think I'm doing, bough? I'm going home. 739 01:02:41,424 --> 01:02:43,836 But the prime minister is finalizing her deal with volta. 740 01:02:43,969 --> 01:02:47,211 She's taking him to the g12 summit in Scotland as her special guest. 741 01:02:47,347 --> 01:02:51,340 It's over, bough. And there's absolutely nothing we can do about it. 742 01:02:52,060 --> 01:02:54,722 But, sir, I have a plan. 743 01:02:55,105 --> 01:02:56,891 Remember my wife? 744 01:03:05,782 --> 01:03:07,067 Clear your baffles. 745 01:03:07,784 --> 01:03:09,570 What? Mind your head, sir. 746 01:03:09,661 --> 01:03:10,741 Owl 747 01:03:13,832 --> 01:03:15,072 this says we're sinking. 748 01:03:18,753 --> 01:03:23,622 She's old and a little rusty, but she can put on a hell of a fireworks display. 749 01:03:40,525 --> 01:03:42,311 Excellent work, commander. 750 01:03:42,610 --> 01:03:45,397 Jeremy has always spoken very highly of you, agent English. 751 01:03:46,573 --> 01:03:47,573 Who? 752 01:03:49,492 --> 01:03:50,652 On. 753 01:03:50,744 --> 01:03:52,405 Oh, yes, yes. 754 01:03:54,289 --> 01:03:56,405 I'm no fan of the pen pushers myself, so 755 01:03:56,499 --> 01:03:58,519 when orders came through stationing us here for the summit, 756 01:03:58,543 --> 01:04:00,955 well, I thought a lift was the least I could do. 757 01:04:01,296 --> 01:04:03,207 Right, let's get a move on, bough. 758 01:04:04,632 --> 01:04:06,444 Oh, if you wouldn't mind keeping your mobiles off 759 01:04:06,468 --> 01:04:07,828 until you're well clear, gentlemen. 760 01:04:07,886 --> 01:04:10,377 The launch systems on the missiles are a bit 1980s. 761 01:04:10,472 --> 01:04:13,214 Gets a tad twitchy around microwave radiation. 762 01:04:13,350 --> 01:04:17,343 No problem there, commander. We're doing this mission old-school. 763 01:04:27,489 --> 01:04:29,150 This spot is perfect. 764 01:04:30,742 --> 01:04:32,073 Come on. 765 01:04:47,592 --> 01:04:48,592 Sorry, sir. 766 01:04:48,676 --> 01:04:50,132 Come on, come on... 767 01:04:52,013 --> 01:04:53,753 Right, bough. Our mission here is simple. 768 01:04:53,932 --> 01:04:57,299 Gain access to volta's bedroom and take him out. 769 01:04:57,727 --> 01:04:59,527 How are you going to get up there, though, sir? 770 01:05:00,063 --> 01:05:03,351 A walk in the park for the exoskeleton. 771 01:05:09,823 --> 01:05:12,860 Remotely operated neoprene bodysuit. 772 01:05:12,992 --> 01:05:15,904 Increases the wearer's strength 100 times. 773 01:05:16,287 --> 01:05:19,575 Right, power it up. Stick in the floppy disk and let's go. 774 01:05:27,882 --> 01:05:28,882 Just... 775 01:05:45,358 --> 01:05:46,564 Crikey, sir! 776 01:06:03,001 --> 01:06:04,832 When will the weapon be ready? 777 01:06:04,961 --> 01:06:08,579 As soon as the prime minister signs the agreement, tonight. 778 01:06:08,715 --> 01:06:10,046 How do I fire it? 779 01:06:10,175 --> 01:06:12,757 Press once and the attack is launched. 780 01:06:13,011 --> 01:06:16,469 After which, the data of every g12 country 781 01:06:16,598 --> 01:06:20,090 will be transferred to the servers onboard the dot calm. 782 01:06:20,185 --> 01:06:21,185 Perfect. 783 01:06:22,854 --> 01:06:23,934 Ah. 784 01:06:25,356 --> 01:06:26,356 Cheers. 785 01:06:34,782 --> 01:06:38,070 You're working for Russian intelligence and you have been from the start. 786 01:06:38,578 --> 01:06:41,378 Which is why I've taken an antidote to the poison you keep in your ring, 787 01:06:41,414 --> 01:06:43,075 and which you've poured into this drink. 788 01:06:44,834 --> 01:06:47,120 And removed the firing pin from that pistol. 789 01:06:55,970 --> 01:06:57,926 Everyone has to make a life for themselves. 790 01:06:58,223 --> 01:07:00,339 It's just sad that yours is 791 01:07:01,434 --> 01:07:02,469 over. 792 01:07:02,560 --> 01:07:03,640 Hmm. 793 01:07:03,728 --> 01:07:07,016 Fresh from my 3D printer. Hundred percent plastic. 794 01:07:10,235 --> 01:07:11,896 And 100% deadly. 795 01:07:13,071 --> 01:07:14,982 Killing me won't save you. 796 01:07:15,907 --> 01:07:16,907 Don't bet on it. 797 01:07:21,663 --> 01:07:24,029 Seriously, this cannot be happening. 798 01:07:24,249 --> 01:07:26,114 Oh, but itis. 799 01:07:27,168 --> 01:07:28,328 Drop the gun. 800 01:07:29,254 --> 01:07:30,585 Get your hands in the air. 801 01:07:31,548 --> 01:07:32,548 And you. 802 01:07:40,640 --> 01:07:41,925 There's no time for this, Johnny. 803 01:07:42,809 --> 01:07:44,265 Oh, it isn't possible. 804 01:07:44,352 --> 01:07:47,094 You cannot be working with this English idiot! 805 01:07:47,188 --> 01:07:50,601 Save the pillow talk for your prison cell, volta. 806 01:07:50,942 --> 01:07:54,776 Are you inside, sir? Yes, yes, bough, you can power down. 807 01:07:55,154 --> 01:07:56,985 Everything is under control. 808 01:07:57,949 --> 01:07:59,280 Shut down. 809 01:08:23,850 --> 01:08:26,262 An historic venue for an historic meeting. 810 01:08:26,352 --> 01:08:30,265 The delegates from each g12 member nation will have their own priorities... 811 01:08:41,618 --> 01:08:43,154 How do we get in now, sir? 812 01:08:51,919 --> 01:08:53,580 What's the plan? 813 01:09:28,665 --> 01:09:30,075 Hey, you! 814 01:09:30,750 --> 01:09:31,830 Hey! 815 01:09:47,892 --> 01:09:50,679 Thank you very much. I hope you have everything you need. 816 01:10:07,578 --> 01:10:08,784 Owl 817 01:10:09,038 --> 01:10:10,574 on behalf of the United Kingdom, 818 01:10:10,707 --> 01:10:14,245 may I welcome you here today to this ancient meeting chamber 819 01:10:14,377 --> 01:10:16,663 where the great Scottish clans 820 01:10:16,796 --> 01:10:20,539 once settled their differences and forged new alliances. 821 01:10:21,300 --> 01:10:23,507 A place I have specifically chosen 822 01:10:23,594 --> 01:10:26,802 in order to make a very special announcement. 823 01:10:27,807 --> 01:10:28,807 Sir? 824 01:10:30,101 --> 01:10:34,060 Are you all right, sir? No, I'm not all right. Get me up, bough. 825 01:10:37,775 --> 01:10:41,313 It's very heavy, sir. I know how heavy it is, bough. 826 01:10:44,240 --> 01:10:45,946 We've got to get to the conference... 827 01:10:47,869 --> 01:10:50,076 To the conference room before volta... 828 01:10:51,789 --> 01:10:53,996 Before volta triggers his weapon. 829 01:10:55,543 --> 01:10:59,331 And so, with my signature on this agreement... 830 01:11:01,048 --> 01:11:03,130 It gives me great pleasure, oh, 831 01:11:03,217 --> 01:11:07,927 to welcome to you my guest, my friend, Jason volta. 832 01:11:10,850 --> 01:11:14,183 Standing by to launch attack, Jason. 833 01:11:14,479 --> 01:11:16,640 Damn it, get me out of this stuff. Johnny? 834 01:11:16,773 --> 01:11:18,764 I can't see the join, sir. It's the clasp. 835 01:11:18,900 --> 01:11:21,858 Release the clasp and the top and the bottom separate. 836 01:11:23,821 --> 01:11:25,777 Must have jammed when you fell over, sir. 837 01:11:25,948 --> 01:11:27,984 For goodness sake. Wait. Try this. 838 01:11:34,874 --> 01:11:36,865 That is quite a lot of oil, sir. 839 01:11:37,960 --> 01:11:40,372 Oh, come on! Come on, come on... 840 01:11:41,506 --> 01:11:45,215 Can you imagine what the world would look like if it was run by apple? 841 01:11:46,677 --> 01:11:49,089 Or Google? Or... 842 01:11:49,639 --> 01:11:50,719 Me? 843 01:11:53,976 --> 01:11:56,058 Do you think you'd have failing schools? 844 01:11:56,813 --> 01:11:59,145 Do you think you'd have endless waiting in your hospitals? 845 01:11:59,232 --> 01:12:00,232 No. 846 01:12:00,316 --> 01:12:03,058 Think you'd have such long lines in your airports? 847 01:12:03,194 --> 01:12:04,730 - No. - No. 848 01:12:05,071 --> 01:12:09,485 No, because all of these are simple data management problems. 849 01:12:09,617 --> 01:12:12,279 And people like me, we love data. 850 01:12:13,037 --> 01:12:15,699 We live for data. 851 01:12:16,123 --> 01:12:17,829 Ha! My... 852 01:12:17,959 --> 01:12:20,291 Do you know what I live for, volta? 853 01:12:20,378 --> 01:12:21,378 God. 854 01:12:21,462 --> 01:12:26,832 Eliminating the threat that lying villains like you pose to this country. 855 01:12:27,134 --> 01:12:28,340 Oh, for god's sake. 856 01:12:28,636 --> 01:12:30,172 Who is he? 857 01:12:30,346 --> 01:12:31,756 Arrest this whack job. 858 01:12:31,889 --> 01:12:34,972 The only person ordering an arrest around here will be me. 859 01:12:35,768 --> 01:12:38,134 There's no cause for concern, ladies and gentlemen, 860 01:12:38,271 --> 01:12:42,935 you are now in the capable hands of her majesty's secret service. 861 01:12:43,276 --> 01:12:47,940 And you, my friend, are in for an uncomfortable ride. 862 01:13:04,463 --> 01:13:05,794 Where was I? 863 01:13:07,258 --> 01:13:08,998 Living for data. 864 01:13:09,385 --> 01:13:10,465 Exactly. 865 01:13:11,804 --> 01:13:16,798 My algorithms can solve every one of your problems as long as I have one thing. 866 01:13:16,893 --> 01:13:17,973 Control. 867 01:13:18,644 --> 01:13:21,977 And that is what you are about to give me now. 868 01:13:22,607 --> 01:13:24,768 Jason, I wonder if you could just clarify... 869 01:13:24,859 --> 01:13:25,939 Shut up. 870 01:13:26,485 --> 01:13:27,725 Now, hold on. 871 01:13:29,071 --> 01:13:30,732 Castle now locked down 872 01:13:31,782 --> 01:13:34,023 and under your control, Jason. 873 01:13:35,995 --> 01:13:38,407 The agreement this ignoramus just signed 874 01:13:38,497 --> 01:13:41,159 didn't just give me access to all the uk's data. 875 01:13:41,292 --> 01:13:45,251 It also gave me access to a junction box, in north ayrshire 876 01:13:45,379 --> 01:13:47,916 that connects the entire world wide web. 877 01:13:48,215 --> 01:13:53,881 Disable the fiber-optic cables in that box and the Internet will cease to exist. 878 01:13:55,181 --> 01:13:57,763 Johnny? Are you okay? 879 01:14:05,107 --> 01:14:07,940 Have you got a phone? We need to call for backup. 880 01:14:08,027 --> 01:14:10,985 There's no time for backup. I'm going after volta. 881 01:14:11,072 --> 01:14:12,778 And don't lose that one! 882 01:14:13,824 --> 01:14:17,737 Do you understand what it means if I turn the Internet off? 883 01:14:17,954 --> 01:14:22,288 Cities will go dark. Planes will fall out of the sky. 884 01:14:23,000 --> 01:14:26,458 Trains will collide. Law and order will break down 885 01:14:26,545 --> 01:14:29,412 and the world as you know it will be over. 886 01:14:30,132 --> 01:14:32,748 Show, don't tell, right? 887 01:14:36,555 --> 01:14:38,546 Initiating attack, Jason. 888 01:14:39,475 --> 01:14:41,466 Taking control of junction box. 889 01:14:42,603 --> 01:14:47,472 Suspending Internet and electricity supply across britain and Europe. 890 01:14:48,526 --> 01:14:50,938 Stage one of attack complete. 891 01:14:51,445 --> 01:14:54,733 Ladies and gentlemen. I can stop the attack 892 01:14:54,824 --> 01:14:58,316 as long as each of you signs the same agreement as the prime minister, 893 01:14:58,411 --> 01:15:00,402 giving me complete control. 894 01:15:01,330 --> 01:15:02,740 Your call. 895 01:15:03,582 --> 01:15:06,369 Welcome to British intelligence. Get me Pegasus! 896 01:15:06,794 --> 01:15:10,537 For mis, press one. For m16, press two. 897 01:15:10,965 --> 01:15:13,297 For mi7, press three. 898 01:15:19,890 --> 01:15:23,053 Eight g12 signatures now acquired. 899 01:15:24,103 --> 01:15:26,685 Signal the chopper, we're almost done here. 900 01:15:27,106 --> 01:15:28,892 For accounts, press five. 901 01:15:28,983 --> 01:15:31,315 For childcare services, press six. Oh, come on! 902 01:15:31,444 --> 01:15:33,776 For more options, press seven. 903 01:15:36,323 --> 01:15:37,323 What? 904 01:15:38,743 --> 01:15:43,908 Only two further signatures required to achieve control of g12 nations’ data. 905 01:15:44,749 --> 01:15:46,159 All uk data 906 01:15:46,250 --> 01:15:49,037 now successfully transferred to the dot calm. 907 01:15:49,170 --> 01:15:52,662 - For Aphrodite, press one. - For Pegasus, press two. 908 01:15:55,217 --> 01:15:56,217 Oh, my god. 909 01:15:56,302 --> 01:16:00,011 Dive the submarine. Repeat, dive the submarine. 910 01:16:02,808 --> 01:16:04,924 Director's office? This is Johnny English. 911 01:16:05,061 --> 01:16:09,270 I need to speak to Pegasus immediately. It's a national emergency. 912 01:16:09,398 --> 01:16:10,888 One moment, please, sir. 913 01:16:12,860 --> 01:16:13,895 This is hms vengeance. 914 01:16:14,028 --> 01:16:17,646 We have a full launch code. Repeat, launch code is locked. 915 01:16:17,782 --> 01:16:19,773 Do I have your permission to fire? 916 01:16:19,909 --> 01:16:22,241 Oh, my god. Could you hold on one moment, please? 917 01:16:22,369 --> 01:16:24,109 Sir? Sirl 918 01:16:25,081 --> 01:16:26,081 hello? 919 01:16:26,332 --> 01:16:27,332 Hello? 920 01:16:27,416 --> 01:16:30,533 Sir! Hms vengeance here. Do I have your permission to launch? 921 01:16:30,669 --> 01:16:33,581 What? Listen, we have to call in an attack. 922 01:16:33,672 --> 01:16:34,912 Did you say "attack," sir? 923 01:16:38,719 --> 01:16:41,381 General quarters, we are go for launch. 924 01:16:41,514 --> 01:16:43,425 Target coordinates locked, commander. 925 01:16:43,557 --> 01:16:44,557 Hello? 926 01:16:46,477 --> 01:16:47,512 Hello? 927 01:16:57,947 --> 01:17:00,484 Commander, the missile is being redirected. 928 01:17:01,325 --> 01:17:03,987 It seems to be locking on to a new hostile target. 929 01:17:06,622 --> 01:17:07,987 What's a "sherbet f"? 930 01:17:19,301 --> 01:17:21,417 - Oh, no. - What was that? 931 01:17:22,972 --> 01:17:26,009 Dot calm appears to be offline, Jason. 932 01:17:26,183 --> 01:17:28,845 The cyber attack has been halted. 933 01:17:32,898 --> 01:17:34,229 Did you 934 01:17:34,608 --> 01:17:37,190 make a call quite close to the submarine, sir? 935 01:17:40,072 --> 01:17:41,187 Um... 936 01:17:41,282 --> 01:17:42,362 Because... 937 01:17:43,367 --> 01:17:44,698 You did it, sir! 938 01:17:45,870 --> 01:17:47,610 Mission accomplished! 939 01:17:48,164 --> 01:17:49,654 Well, exactly! 940 01:17:51,417 --> 01:17:54,500 I am re-evaluating our options, Jason. 941 01:18:01,010 --> 01:18:02,841 Johnny! Johnny! 942 01:18:02,928 --> 01:18:06,011 Volta is getting away! He's heading for his helicopter! 943 01:18:06,098 --> 01:18:07,383 No, bough. 944 01:18:08,601 --> 01:18:10,262 This one's mine. 945 01:18:43,886 --> 01:18:45,547 Careful, sir. Sir? 946 01:18:56,607 --> 01:18:58,268 Last two steps, sir. 947 01:19:03,364 --> 01:19:05,275 Not so fast, volta! 948 01:19:06,909 --> 01:19:08,991 Is this supposed to scare me, sir Lancelot? 949 01:19:14,124 --> 01:19:15,364 Take cover, bough. 950 01:19:22,007 --> 01:19:25,545 Don't worry, he's only got six bullets in that thing. 951 01:19:29,014 --> 01:19:30,720 And, of course, the thing itself. 952 01:19:33,143 --> 01:19:35,179 You've run out of options, volta. 953 01:19:36,021 --> 01:19:37,306 Oh, you think you've won? 954 01:19:37,398 --> 01:19:38,604 Mmm. 955 01:19:39,191 --> 01:19:42,228 Rerouting the attack to our Nevada servers, Jason. 956 01:19:42,861 --> 01:19:46,854 The world's going down, English. And I'll be the last man standing. 957 01:19:47,491 --> 01:19:50,528 Goodbye, English! Goodbye, Internet. 958 01:19:51,787 --> 01:19:56,451 I've got it. That's a gazelle 341 light attack helicopter. 959 01:19:57,042 --> 01:19:59,533 If we can hack into its operating system, 960 01:19:59,795 --> 01:20:01,786 we can disable the drive function. 961 01:20:02,089 --> 01:20:03,089 Here. 962 01:20:06,927 --> 01:20:11,045 Look at you! You couldn't use that thing if your life depended on it! 963 01:20:14,018 --> 01:20:15,383 Let's get outta here. 964 01:20:16,103 --> 01:20:17,809 Get this steel bird in the... 965 01:20:23,027 --> 01:20:27,942 Rerouting complete. Attack data now installed at our Nevada servers. 966 01:20:28,365 --> 01:20:30,151 Should I initiate? 967 01:20:30,576 --> 01:20:31,576 Jason? 968 01:20:36,248 --> 01:20:38,409 Should I initiate the new attack? 969 01:20:39,460 --> 01:20:41,951 Initiate this! 970 01:20:42,046 --> 01:20:44,458 Jason. 971 01:20:55,726 --> 01:20:57,057 Well, uh, ladies and gentlemen. 972 01:20:57,186 --> 01:21:01,054 I think we can all agree, that wasn't quite the evening we were expecting. 973 01:21:06,403 --> 01:21:08,394 I had hoped to present to you tonight... 974 01:21:08,530 --> 01:21:10,816 Thank you. A vision of what britain might be. 975 01:21:11,241 --> 01:21:14,984 But, as it happens, the man who saved us all this evening, 976 01:21:15,079 --> 01:21:18,617 the man who, I might add, I personally assigned to this case, 977 01:21:19,249 --> 01:21:21,456 has presented us with a different kind of vision. 978 01:21:21,543 --> 01:21:25,832 A living embodiment, if you like, of those fundamental British qualities 979 01:21:25,923 --> 01:21:30,212 that have ensured that our beloved island nation endures. 980 01:21:30,719 --> 01:21:33,631 Courage under fire, endless ingenuity 981 01:21:33,722 --> 01:21:35,633 and above all, a quiet 982 01:21:36,266 --> 01:21:38,973 unassailable dignity. 983 01:21:58,122 --> 01:21:59,362 Thank you. 984 01:22:06,547 --> 01:22:07,957 All together. 985 01:22:18,851 --> 01:22:20,557 Welcome back, Mr. English. 986 01:22:20,644 --> 01:22:21,804 Thank you, headmaster. 987 01:22:21,895 --> 01:22:23,665 Thank you for agreeing to be our guest speaker. 988 01:22:23,689 --> 01:22:26,476 Now the governors and staff are all waiting for us in the rose garden. 989 01:22:26,567 --> 01:22:29,479 Yes, if you could just excuse me for a few minutes, headmaster. 990 01:22:35,242 --> 01:22:36,242 On. 991 01:22:38,120 --> 01:22:39,360 Morning, sir! Hello, sir! 992 01:22:39,455 --> 01:22:41,696 Welcome back, sir! 993 01:22:45,752 --> 01:22:46,832 Surprise! 994 01:22:47,796 --> 01:22:48,956 Thank you. 995 01:22:50,174 --> 01:22:51,755 Where's straker? 996 01:22:52,676 --> 01:22:54,462 Here, sir. Good. 997 01:22:54,720 --> 01:22:56,631 And, of course, baggaley. 998 01:22:57,931 --> 01:22:59,075 That was very good. Very good. 999 01:22:59,099 --> 01:23:00,979 All right, gather round, everyone. Gather round. 1000 01:23:01,894 --> 01:23:03,805 I've got some toys to show you. 1001 01:23:03,896 --> 01:23:05,432 Ooh! There we go. 1002 01:23:06,523 --> 01:23:08,809 There we are. There we are. 1003 01:23:09,318 --> 01:23:11,400 - Breadstick blowpipe, anyone? - Me! 1004 01:23:11,487 --> 01:23:12,522 There you go. 1005 01:23:12,613 --> 01:23:14,854 Granny Smith hand grenade? 1006 01:23:15,407 --> 01:23:17,398 And what about a garroting watch? Here, sir. 1007 01:23:17,493 --> 01:23:18,493 There you go. 1008 01:23:19,870 --> 01:23:21,576 Ooh! Here, let me take that. 1009 01:23:21,705 --> 01:23:23,991 Don't worry, it's only a mild sedative. 1010 01:23:25,209 --> 01:23:27,700 Oh! That's just a five-second fuse. 1011 01:23:28,962 --> 01:23:31,578 Yes, all right, we all know what garroting looks like. 1012 01:23:31,715 --> 01:23:33,706 Whenever you're ready, Mr. English. 1013 01:23:33,842 --> 01:23:36,424 Oh, I'm sorry, headmaster, I'll just be one moment. 1014 01:23:36,553 --> 01:23:38,714 Just take those. Thank you. Ooh. 1015 01:23:39,598 --> 01:23:42,635 Put those away, shall we? There we... 1016 01:23:43,352 --> 01:23:44,512 Um... 1017 01:23:45,354 --> 01:23:47,185 I always did love a jelly baby. 75056

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