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1
00:00:08,008 --> 00:00:09,442
Oh, hey, Frasi
er.
2
00:00:09,943 --> 00:00:11,644
Oh, hello, Roz.
3
00:00:11,679 --> 00:00:13,311
Happy New Year.
4
00:00:13,346 --> 00:00:15,081
Or should I say,
happy new millennium.
5
00:00:15,116 --> 00:00:15,882
Oh, barf.
6
00:00:16,449 --> 00:00:18,249
I'm so sick of talking about it.
7
00:00:18,284 --> 00:00:19,586
Oh, now, Roz, let's not condemn
the new millennium
8
00:00:20,086 --> 00:00:21,821
just because you woke up in it
with a hangover.
9
00:00:23,490 --> 00:00:25,425
That's what ruined church
for you.
10
00:00:25,460 --> 00:00:27,926
Decaf latte,
please.
11
00:00:27,961 --> 00:00:29,928
I just hate
how this arbitrary point
12
00:00:29,963 --> 00:00:31,931
on the calendar
has become so significant.
13
00:00:31,966 --> 00:00:34,300
And as far m y hangover wen t,
14
00:00:34,335 --> 00:00:35,533
it was worth it.
15
00:00:35,568 --> 00:00:39,973
I partied my ass off like
a brain-damaged test monkey.
16
00:00:40,008 --> 00:00:41,206
I see.
17
00:00:41,241 --> 00:00:42,774
Well, allow me
to congratulate you
18
00:00:42,809 --> 00:00:44,811
on your first
science-related metaphor.
19
00:00:44,846 --> 00:00:46,146
Thank yo u. Mm-hmm.
20
00:00:46,181 --> 00:00:47,447
And what did you do?
21
00:00:47,881 --> 00:00:49,315
Get all freaky
and finish your list
22
00:00:49,350 --> 00:00:50,715
of the century's
greatest thinkers?
23
00:00:50,750 --> 00:00:52,585
No, but my new year's was
plenty exciting enough,
24
00:00:52,620 --> 00:00:53,885
thank you very much.
25
00:00:53,920 --> 00:00:58,224
Although... not exactly
in a way I'd planned.
26
00:00:58,725 --> 00:00:59,726
Cancel the millennium.
27
00:01:00,226 --> 00:01:01,995
Chez Henri
has burned down!
28
00:01:02,030 --> 00:01:03,097
Burned down?
29
00:01:03,132 --> 00:01:04,129
Yes.
30
00:01:04,164 --> 00:01:06,666
Apparently, Henri
was caramelizing
31
00:01:06,701 --> 00:01:08,133
a huge creme brulee
32
00:01:08,168 --> 00:01:10,503
in the shape of Puget Sou nd
33
00:01:10,538 --> 00:01:12,103
when a sugar spa
rk
34
00:01:12,138 --> 00:01:15,942
ignited a 30-foot papier
maache space needle.
35
00:01:17,277 --> 00:01:18,643
They're already calling it
36
00:01:18,678 --> 00:01:22,348
the worst centerpiece disaster
in the history of Seattle.
37
00:01:22,383 --> 00:01:25,984
Henri built his reputation
with that caramelizing torch.
38
00:01:26,019 --> 00:01:29,956
My God. The irony of him burning
down his own restaurant with it.
39
00:01:30,457 --> 00:01:32,325
It's worthy of O. Henry.
40
00:01:32,360 --> 00:01:36,061
O. Henri.
41
00:01:36,096 --> 00:01:38,930
Please, Niles,
it's too soon to joke.
42
00:01:38,965 --> 00:01:40,967
What exactly are we going
to do tomorrow night?
43
00:01:41,401 --> 00:01:42,434
Every restaurant in town
44
00:01:42,469 --> 00:01:44,404
worth going to
has been booked for months.
45
00:01:44,439 --> 00:01:45,305
Well, you know,
you can join me
46
00:01:45,340 --> 00:01:46,473
and the boys
at McGinty's.
47
00:01:46,508 --> 00:01:47,607
It's going to be a lot of fun.
48
00:01:48,041 --> 00:01:50,426
They're going to dye
the beer green.
49
00:01:50,461 --> 00:01:52,777
Why would you do that
on New Year's Eve?
50
00:01:52,812 --> 00:01:55,280
Oh, well, McGinty's going in
for a bypass next month,
51
00:01:55,315 --> 00:01:58,284
and he's afraid he might not
make it out for St. Patty's Day.
52
00:01:59,219 --> 00:02:00,652
This is a disaster
53
00:02:00,687 --> 00:02:03,723
No, they'll just pop in
another pig valve.
54
00:02:03,758 --> 00:02:05,090
You know,
the only reason
55
00:02:05,125 --> 00:02:07,060
he needs it is 'cause
he eats so much bacon.
56
00:02:07,095 --> 00:02:08,061
So the same thing
that's killing him
57
00:02:08,561 --> 00:02:10,862
is keeping him alive.
58
00:02:10,897 --> 00:02:13,633
There's your
O. Henry story.
59
00:02:15,001 --> 00:02:16,968
Well, maybe we can just stay in
tomorrow night.
60
00:02:17,003 --> 00:02:20,006
On the most significant
New Year's Eve of our lifetime?
61
00:02:20,041 --> 00:02:20,972
I think not.
62
00:02:21,007 --> 00:02:22,759
I should have ju
st gone with Mel.
63
00:02:22,794 --> 00:02:24,511
ing She and her mother are tak
64
00:02:24,546 --> 00:02:25,443
oon
a hot air ball
65
00:02:25,478 --> 00:02:26,479
ry. through th e wine count
66
00:02:28,281 --> 00:02:29,547
Well, not in the balloon, no,
67
00:02:29,582 --> 00:02:32,919
but I could've followed along
in the recovery vehicle.
68
00:02:35,221 --> 00:02:36,856
Wait a minute.
69
00:02:36,891 --> 00:02:38,456
Speaking of wine,
70
00:02:38,491 --> 00:02:40,810
wasn't the wine club having
some sort of a party?
71
00:02:40,845 --> 00:02:43,129
Yes, at Ken Lauterbach's
place in Sun Valley.
72
00:02:43,164 --> 00:02:44,062
Oh, it's a huge event.
73
00:02:44,097 --> 00:02:46,464
Of course!
"Auld Lang Wine"!
74
00:02:46,499 --> 00:02:48,368
Niles, call and see
if we're still invited.
75
00:02:48,403 --> 00:02:50,170
All right, I'm on it.
76
00:02:50,205 --> 00:02:51,538
Bloody hell.
77
00:02:52,906 --> 00:02:54,591
Five days
after Christmas is over,
78
00:02:54,626 --> 00:02:56,385
and I'm still getting
these cards.
79
00:02:56,420 --> 00:02:57,983
They do it on purpose,
you know.
80
00:02:58,018 --> 00:02:59,532
It's always from someone
you forgot,
81
00:02:59,567 --> 00:03:01,047
and then it's too late
to send one back.
82
00:03:01,548 --> 00:03:03,550
Then they sneer at you
for the rest of the year.
83
00:03:04,050 --> 00:03:06,419
"Peace and goodwill," my ass.
84
00:03:08,188 --> 00:03:09,556
You just lost yourself
a customer,
85
00:03:09,591 --> 00:03:11,057
Dr. Naran S. Gupta, D.D.S.
86
00:03:11,558 --> 00:03:12,392
Mm.
87
00:03:12,659 --> 00:03:13,726
Losing a set
of English teeth.
88
00:03:13,761 --> 00:03:15,962
He'll feel that.
89
00:03:17,063 --> 00:03:19,215
This is for you
from the D.M.V.
90
00:03:19,250 --> 00:03:21,332
is. Oh-ho! I k now what this
91
00:03:21,367 --> 00:03:23,870
The custom pla tes I
ordered for my Winnebago.
92
00:03:23,905 --> 00:03:25,837
Yay!
93
00:03:25,872 --> 00:03:30,877
Well, 50 bucks,
but I think it says it all.
94
00:03:30,912 --> 00:03:33,897
Rrrd?
95
00:03:33,932 --> 00:03:36,848
Wrr... er?
96
00:03:36,883 --> 00:03:39,886
Rid... worry... er?
97
00:03:39,921 --> 00:03:40,852
Red wearer
98
00:03:40,887 --> 00:03:44,824
Oh, for God's sake,
"Road Warrior. "
99
00:03:44,859 --> 00:03:46,191
Of course.
100
00:03:46,226 --> 00:03:48,478
For a retired man with a cane
and a Winnebago.
101
00:03:48,513 --> 00:03:50,730
I don't know why my mind
didn't go straight to it.
102
00:03:50,765 --> 00:03:52,497
Huzzah
103
00:03:52,532 --> 00:03:53,798
Hello, Daphne.
104
00:03:53,833 --> 00:03:55,335
Ken says he'd lo
ve to have us come,
105
00:03:55,370 --> 00:03:56,854
r. and the mo re, the merrie
106
00:03:56,889 --> 00:03:58,303
Oh, Niles,
that's brilliant.
107
00:03:58,338 --> 00:03:59,804
Dad, please, please,
won't you join us?
108
00:03:59,839 --> 00:04:01,140
You know what? Say,
let's call the travel agent.
109
00:04:01,175 --> 00:04:02,407
Not to rain on your parade,
110
00:04:02,442 --> 00:04:04,944
but you may have a tough time
getting flights this late.
111
00:04:04,979 --> 00:04:05,945
Donny and I had a devil
of a time
112
00:04:06,446 --> 00:04:07,947
getting our flight
to San Francisco.
113
00:04:07,982 --> 00:04:09,180
,
Oh, Daphne
114
00:04:09,215 --> 00:04:10,515
they always set aside
115
00:04:10,550 --> 00:04:15,054
a few choice seats
for Seattle's travel elite.
116
00:04:20,026 --> 00:04:21,527
or! Pick a Ian e, Road Warri
117
00:04:21,562 --> 00:04:22,393
See?
118
00:04:22,428 --> 00:04:23,329
He got it.
119
00:04:23,364 --> 00:04:25,331
Hey!
120
00:04:29,836 --> 00:04:32,905
Ah, being on the road
like this is like
121
00:04:32,940 --> 00:04:34,407
we're three
dusty hoboes
122
00:04:34,907 --> 00:04:38,745
sharing a boxcar
to parts unknown.
123
00:04:40,413 --> 00:04:42,181
Yes, well, if you don't take
this next turn,
124
00:04:42,216 --> 00:04:45,583
we'll end up in Californy.
125
00:04:45,618 --> 00:04:48,353
Gee, Niles,
you seem a little cranky.
126
00:04:48,388 --> 00:04:50,256
Well, perhaps that's because
I rousted out of a warm bed
127
00:04:50,291 --> 00:04:54,093
at the crack of dawn
and herded onto a Winnebago!
128
00:04:55,428 --> 00:04:56,761
Better safe
than sorry, Niles.
129
00:04:56,796 --> 00:04:58,798
You know, it's 650 miles
to Sun Valley,
130
00:04:59,299 --> 00:05:01,301
and half of that's
through the mountains.
131
00:05:01,336 --> 00:05:02,767
,
By the way
132
00:05:02,802 --> 00:05:04,804
how are we going to explain
to the wine club
133
00:05:04,839 --> 00:05:06,771
our arriving
in a Winnebago?
134
00:05:06,806 --> 00:05:09,442
es. Just chalk it off to whimsy, Nil
135
00:05:09,477 --> 00:05:12,078
We'll call it
our "Van Ordinaire
136
00:05:13,346 --> 00:05:15,248
ing You know, besides,
I'm actually enjoy
137
00:05:15,283 --> 00:05:17,115
d. this little trip through the heartlan
138
00:05:17,150 --> 00:05:19,419
I feel a little bit out of touch
with the common man.
139
00:05:19,454 --> 00:05:21,187
It's nice to reconnect.
140
00:05:22,955 --> 00:05:24,457
Well, while you're
reconnecting,
141
00:05:24,492 --> 00:05:26,359
why don't
you let me drive?
142
00:05:28,194 --> 00:05:29,395
es.
I- I would, Nil
143
00:05:29,430 --> 00:05:30,561
It's just that, um
144
00:05:30,596 --> 00:05:32,563
I ne... I need
you to navigate.
145
00:05:32,598 --> 00:05:36,836
Yeah, you're the most important
member of our crew, good buddy.
146
00:05:37,637 --> 00:05:40,605
The man with
the map.
147
00:05:40,640 --> 00:05:42,141
Stop patronizing me.
I want to drive.
148
00:05:42,642 --> 00:05:45,610
Oh, you're not good
with big cars, Niles.
149
00:05:45,645 --> 00:05:48,598
Remember when I tried to teach
you to drive my Le Sabre?
150
00:05:48,633 --> 00:05:51,551
You kept panicking and pulling
on the emergency break.
151
00:05:51,586 --> 00:05:52,884
Well, it's
a good thing I did.
152
00:05:52,919 --> 00:05:56,322
Those mailboxes weren't
even slowing me down.
153
00:05:56,357 --> 00:05:58,690
Oh, did you see
that sign?
154
00:05:58,725 --> 00:06:01,944
Little Red Cabin.
Remember those diners?
155
00:06:01,979 --> 00:06:05,523
Home of the logroller:
a flank steak wrapped
156
00:06:05,558 --> 00:06:09,068
around a combination of eggs,
cheese and onions.
157
00:06:09,103 --> 00:06:11,736
You kids used to love
eating there.
158
00:06:11,771 --> 00:06:13,539
You'd scream out at me,
"Dad, pull over!
159
00:06:14,073 --> 00:06:16,441
Quick, pull over!"
160
00:06:16,476 --> 00:06:19,412
Actually, Dad, tha
t was after we ate.
161
00:06:29,689 --> 00:06:31,656
Oh, Niles.
162
00:06:31,691 --> 00:06:33,192
g. Thought you were sleepin
163
00:06:36,696 --> 00:06:38,663
I was trying to,
164
00:06:38,698 --> 00:06:40,533
but Dad wanted
to watch the VCR.
165
00:06:40,568 --> 00:06:41,866
Oh, good Lord.
166
00:06:41,901 --> 00:06:44,704
NotRobin
and the Seven Hoodsagain?
167
00:06:46,939 --> 00:06:48,406
Worse.
168
00:06:48,441 --> 00:06:49,774
Yeah, baby.
169
00:06:49,809 --> 00:06:52,345
Now, that was
a shagadelic flick.
170
00:06:53,846 --> 00:06:55,848
You know, Dad,
if you're quite done,
171
00:06:55,883 --> 00:06:57,350
I think I'll try
to take a nap.
172
00:06:57,385 --> 00:06:59,852
Oh, behave.
173
00:07:03,856 --> 00:07:05,690
You know, Dad,
174
00:07:05,725 --> 00:07:07,493
e you do realize that
the Austin Powers craz
175
00:07:08,060 --> 00:07:08,561
is completely over
176
00:07:09,061 --> 00:07:10,863
Well, I'm sorry.
Do I bore you?
177
00:07:10,898 --> 00:07:12,165
Or do I make you randy?
178
00:07:12,200 --> 00:07:14,600
Oh...
179
00:07:19,038 --> 00:07:21,472
Hello.
180
00:07:21,507 --> 00:07:24,377
Yes, Niles.
181
00:07:25,711 --> 00:07:28,714
n. I'm driving as smoothly as I ca
182
00:07:28,749 --> 00:07:31,717
Any other little
driving tips
183
00:07:31,752 --> 00:07:33,117
you'd like
to give me
184
00:07:33,152 --> 00:07:36,722
Why don't you just come up here
and tell me to my face!
185
00:07:36,757 --> 00:07:38,022
Hey, look,
186
00:07:38,057 --> 00:07:39,824
another
Little Red Cabin sign.
187
00:07:39,859 --> 00:07:40,860
You know, we're not going
to find anything
188
00:07:40,895 --> 00:07:42,362
better to eat
on this highway.
189
00:07:42,397 --> 00:07:43,830
d. Oh, let's no t be hasty, Da
190
00:07:43,865 --> 00:07:45,263
It's five miles away.
191
00:07:45,298 --> 00:07:47,767
We might run over something
before then.
192
00:07:51,404 --> 00:07:53,189
You know,
I am so tired,
193
00:07:53,224 --> 00:07:54,974
I can barely read
this menu.
194
00:07:55,475 --> 00:07:56,459
That's all right,
Niles,
195
00:07:56,494 --> 00:07:57,408
you don't have
to read.
196
00:07:57,443 --> 00:07:58,411
You can just poi
nt to a picture
197
00:07:58,446 --> 00:08:00,347
nt.
of the food you wa
198
00:08:00,382 --> 00:08:02,213
What's this?
199
00:08:02,248 --> 00:08:04,050
"A logroller
with your choice of cheese"?
200
00:08:04,584 --> 00:08:07,418
You can't have a logroller
without American cheese.
201
00:08:07,453 --> 00:08:08,821
nt Apparently, you can't get
anythi ng in this restaura
202
00:08:08,856 --> 00:08:12,625
without American cheese.
.. including the menu.
203
00:08:12,660 --> 00:08:14,425
Niles, if you're
so tired,
204
00:08:14,460 --> 00:08:16,963
why don't you go back to
the Road Warrior, take a nap?
205
00:08:16,998 --> 00:08:19,966
Oh, you know,
that's a good idea.
206
00:08:20,001 --> 00:08:21,933
At least it'll be quiet.
207
00:08:21,968 --> 00:08:24,937
I wonder if you can still get
sticky shingles here.
208
00:08:24,972 --> 00:08:28,708
One look at the salad bar
says yes.
209
00:08:28,743 --> 00:08:30,977
What looks good to you, Fras?
210
00:08:31,012 --> 00:08:31,844
Well, actually, Dad,
211
00:08:32,345 --> 00:08:37,250
you know, I think
I'll have a hamburger.
212
00:08:38,484 --> 00:08:40,653
Would you order that
for me, Dad?
213
00:08:40,688 --> 00:08:41,986
Yeah. You going someplace?
214
00:08:42,021 --> 00:08:43,454
As a matter
of fact, I am.
215
00:08:43,489 --> 00:08:46,425
I'm going to take a chance
and reacquaint myself
216
00:08:46,460 --> 00:08:50,429
with an old friend of mine:
America.
217
00:08:57,169 --> 00:08:58,437
Hello there.
218
00:08:59,639 --> 00:09:02,507
Could I buy you
a cup of coffee?
219
00:09:02,542 --> 00:09:06,078
You see, I'm just
a wandering city mouse
220
00:09:06,113 --> 00:09:09,580
trying to get in touch
with America.
221
00:09:09,615 --> 00:09:12,118
Now, you, you look
like you'd be a farmer.
222
00:09:12,153 --> 00:09:14,085
it.
Oh, I get
223
00:09:14,120 --> 00:09:15,621
You see a guy
in a rural diner
224
00:09:15,656 --> 00:09:17,088
wearing shab
by clothes,
225
00:09:17,123 --> 00:09:18,991
you pin your littl
e label on him.
226
00:09:19,026 --> 00:09:20,426
at?
Well, guess wh
227
00:09:20,461 --> 00:09:21,792
r,
I am a farme
228
00:09:21,827 --> 00:09:23,829
but I'm also
a beautiful,
229
00:09:24,330 --> 00:09:26,264
flawed, complicate
d human being,
230
00:09:26,299 --> 00:09:28,568
fee and it's going to
take more than a cup of cof
231
00:09:28,603 --> 00:09:29,769
to get inside here.
232
00:09:31,237 --> 00:09:34,574
I'll just go see
how my father's doing.
233
00:09:36,275 --> 00:09:38,075
So, how was he
234
00:09:38,110 --> 00:09:40,413
Beautiful, flawed...
235
00:09:40,448 --> 00:09:41,447
unpleasant.
236
00:09:42,882 --> 00:09:44,348
Well, according to the map,
237
00:09:44,383 --> 00:09:46,117
it's about 300 miles
to Sun Valley.
238
00:09:46,152 --> 00:09:47,385
Oh, that's delightful, Dad.
You know what?
239
00:09:47,420 --> 00:09:48,753
We'll get there
in plenty of time for the party.
240
00:09:48,788 --> 00:09:50,656
Hey, listen, you know, your
brother's going to be hungry.
241
00:09:50,691 --> 00:09:51,674
ch. Maybe we should bring him a sandwi
242
00:09:51,709 --> 00:09:52,658
I wouldn't worry
about Niles, Dad.
243
00:09:53,159 --> 00:09:54,125
You saw how tired
he was.
244
00:09:54,160 --> 00:09:55,661
Let's just let him sleep
for the rest of the trip.
245
00:09:55,696 --> 00:09:57,395
You su re? Oh, sure.
246
00:09:57,430 --> 00:09:59,198
It's the most exciting day
of the year, Dad.
247
00:09:59,233 --> 00:10:00,598
For God's sakes, you know,
248
00:10:00,633 --> 00:10:02,101
when Niles wakes up,
I guarantee you
249
00:10:02,136 --> 00:10:03,569
the last thing
he'd be thinking about
250
00:10:03,604 --> 00:10:07,039
is sandwiches.
251
00:10:13,179 --> 00:10:15,713
Oh, my goodness.
252
00:10:15,748 --> 00:10:18,250
Look what I just found
in my pocket.
253
00:10:18,285 --> 00:10:19,216
The lighter I borrowed
254
00:10:19,251 --> 00:10:20,753
from that waitress
in the restaurant.
255
00:10:20,788 --> 00:10:22,272
I feel terrible.
256
00:10:22,307 --> 00:10:23,721
r.
Forget it, Mothe
257
00:10:23,756 --> 00:10:26,058
We're not
taking it back
258
00:10:28,394 --> 00:10:30,896
Well, I really think
we should just turn around
259
00:10:30,931 --> 00:10:33,166
an-and say we're sorry
and return it.
260
00:10:33,201 --> 00:10:35,366
I think we ought to keep it.
261
00:10:35,401 --> 00:10:38,404
Our old one's
nearly out of fuel anyway.
262
00:10:38,439 --> 00:10:39,837
That doesn't make it right.
263
00:10:39,872 --> 00:10:41,841
We're still criminals
in the eyes of the law.
264
00:10:43,876 --> 00:10:44,877
s There's a lot worse criminal
265
00:10:45,378 --> 00:10:46,277
than you and me.
266
00:10:46,312 --> 00:10:49,081
Remember that last
gun show we went to?
267
00:10:49,116 --> 00:10:49,847
We must have seen
268
00:10:49,882 --> 00:10:51,384
at least three
different people
269
00:10:51,419 --> 00:10:52,850
swiping boxes
of shells.
270
00:10:52,885 --> 00:10:54,387
There's one thing
you can say for us
271
00:10:54,887 --> 00:10:58,224
We pay for our ammo.
272
00:11:04,063 --> 00:11:05,431
So, this party tonight-
273
00:11:05,898 --> 00:11:10,369
going to be a lot
of shagnificent birds?
274
00:11:11,303 --> 00:11:14,306
Dad, I'm begging you.
275
00:11:19,145 --> 00:11:20,611
Hello.
276
00:11:20,646 --> 00:11:23,649
Niles, will you please stop
doing this?!
277
00:11:25,985 --> 00:11:27,503
y. I'm getting a little drows
278
00:11:27,538 --> 00:11:29,021
Well, if you'r
e so tired,
279
00:11:29,522 --> 00:11:30,790
just scootch over-
I'll take the wheel.
280
00:11:30,825 --> 00:11:32,324
ay. MA Ok
281
00:11:39,098 --> 00:11:41,065
Yes, yes, hello.
282
00:11:41,100 --> 00:11:42,601
I'm being kidnapped.
This is an emergency.
283
00:11:43,102 --> 00:11:44,068
I'm being kidnapped.
284
00:11:44,103 --> 00:11:48,107
I'm in a stolen Winnebago
heading east on I-84.
285
00:11:48,142 --> 00:11:52,629
I can't talk any louder.
I'm being stolen.
286
00:11:52,664 --> 00:11:57,116
Yes, yes. Washington plates-
R- D-W-R-E-R.
287
00:11:57,151 --> 00:11:58,885
Road Warrior.
288
00:11:58,920 --> 00:12:00,584
Yes, it does.
289
00:12:00,619 --> 00:12:03,122
It does so. Sound it out.
290
00:12:03,622 --> 00:12:06,625
Never mind. Oh, for God's sake,
just save me.
291
00:12:07,126 --> 00:12:09,378
Oh, I'm... I'm
getting too sleepy
292
00:12:09,413 --> 00:12:11,630
I'm going back
for a little lie down.
293
00:12:11,665 --> 00:12:12,531
Okay.
294
00:12:14,433 --> 00:12:15,800
k! Oh, wait , Dad, loo
295
00:12:15,835 --> 00:12:17,987
There's another one of
those Little Red Cabins.
296
00:12:18,022 --> 00:12:20,139
Why don't we just stop
and have some supper first?
297
00:12:20,174 --> 00:12:22,842
'Cause I'm tired,
and I'm not hungry.
298
00:12:22,877 --> 00:12:24,243
Clifford.
299
00:12:25,678 --> 00:12:29,115
Well, I guess a sandwich
wouldn't kill me.
300
00:12:33,419 --> 00:12:35,788
I feel sort of funny
even stopping here.
301
00:12:35,823 --> 00:12:36,754
Sort of like
returning
302
00:12:36,789 --> 00:12:38,190
me. to the sce ne of the cri
303
00:12:38,225 --> 00:12:41,627
o.
Mother, let it g
304
00:13:23,736 --> 00:13:25,603
All right, Eddie.
305
00:13:25,638 --> 00:13:29,642
Let's go sign
nature's guest book.
306
00:13:33,846 --> 00:13:34,812
Hello.
307
00:13:34,847 --> 00:13:36,098
Frasier?
308
00:13:36,133 --> 00:13:37,392
Yes.
309
00:13:37,427 --> 00:13:38,616
Niles.
310
00:13:38,651 --> 00:13:43,856
Put your fears to rest.
I've got Dad's Winnebago back.
311
00:13:43,891 --> 00:13:47,193
Niles, what on earth
are you talking about?
312
00:13:47,228 --> 00:13:48,194
You must have had a nightmare.
313
00:13:48,229 --> 00:13:50,127
Uh, indeed I have.
314
00:13:50,162 --> 00:13:52,164
But it's over now,
and I managed to give the thugs
315
00:13:52,199 --> 00:13:54,934
a taste of their own
thieving medicine.
316
00:13:55,701 --> 00:13:58,169
Niles!
317
00:13:58,204 --> 00:14:00,137
Niles, where are
you calling from?!
318
00:14:00,172 --> 00:14:03,075
From behind the wheel
of the Road Warrior.
319
00:14:04,476 --> 00:14:07,913
And doing a damn fine job
driving, I might add.
320
00:14:08,414 --> 00:14:10,314
ButI'min the Road Warrior!
321
00:14:10,349 --> 00:14:11,817
You got in the wrong car,
you idiot!
322
00:14:11,852 --> 00:14:14,820
You've stolen a Winnebago!
323
00:14:14,855 --> 00:14:16,822
Oh, don't be absurd.
324
00:14:20,459 --> 00:14:21,827
Oh.
325
00:14:23,095 --> 00:14:25,496
Oh.
326
00:14:25,531 --> 00:14:27,867
Oh, my God!
327
00:14:35,441 --> 00:14:36,876
All right, Niles,
just keep your head!
328
00:14:36,911 --> 00:14:38,342
There's no need to panic!
329
00:14:38,377 --> 00:14:40,344
MAN
This is the police!
330
00:14:40,379 --> 00:14:41,881
Exit your vehicle
immediately
331
00:14:42,381 --> 00:14:46,352
with your hands
above your head.
332
00:15:03,769 --> 00:15:05,971
How's that turkey club, Dad?
333
00:15:06,006 --> 00:15:08,707
A little dry.
334
00:15:20,519 --> 00:15:22,888
Sorry about
the misunderstanding.
335
00:15:23,389 --> 00:15:25,256
These papers all check out, sir. Well,
336
00:15:25,291 --> 00:15:26,692
ry if there's nothing
else, we're in a hur
337
00:15:26,727 --> 00:15:27,925
ey.
to get to Sun Vall
338
00:15:27,960 --> 00:15:30,696
But nottoo much
of a hurry.
339
00:15:30,731 --> 00:15:32,365
Well, drive safely.
340
00:15:32,400 --> 00:15:33,867
u.
Thank yo
341
00:15:33,902 --> 00:15:35,299
What a clown.
342
00:15:35,334 --> 00:15:36,835
I can tell you
ten things he did wrong
343
00:15:36,870 --> 00:15:38,168
right off the bat.
344
00:15:38,203 --> 00:15:39,937
Well, at least
he was apologetic.
345
00:15:39,972 --> 00:15:41,840
Oh, these hick towns w
ill give any bozo a badge.
346
00:15:41,875 --> 00:15:44,360
A goober like th
at wouldn't last
347
00:15:44,395 --> 00:15:46,845
ten minutes in a
real police force...
348
00:15:47,846 --> 00:15:51,650
...without getti
ng a promotion.
349
00:15:52,885 --> 00:15:54,320
Your license.
350
00:16:01,493 --> 00:16:02,960
Hello.
351
00:16:02,995 --> 00:16:03,996
Hello, Frasier.
352
00:16:04,496 --> 00:16:05,497
I've managed to solve
the problem.
353
00:16:05,532 --> 00:16:06,766
I returned the Winnebago.
354
00:16:06,801 --> 00:16:07,965
To where? Where are you?
355
00:16:08,000 --> 00:16:10,436
Well, I'm in Baker City, Oregon.
356
00:16:10,471 --> 00:16:11,335
Baker City?!
357
00:16:11,370 --> 00:16:14,373
Shag me rotten.
That's 300 miles!
358
00:16:15,374 --> 00:16:17,841
Niles, we will never get there
359
00:16:17,876 --> 00:16:19,995
and then back to Sun Valley
before midnight.
360
00:16:20,030 --> 00:16:22,114
Well, I'm not going
to ring in the new year
361
00:16:22,149 --> 00:16:23,547
in a Little Red Cabin.
362
00:16:23,582 --> 00:16:25,549
All right, all right. Listen.
363
00:16:25,584 --> 00:16:27,086
The only way we ca
n ever pull this off
364
00:16:27,586 --> 00:16:29,088
is if you can catch a
ride in this direction
365
00:16:29,588 --> 00:16:30,990
Hold on. Hold on.
366
00:16:32,891 --> 00:16:35,359
Oh, my gosh.
It's engraved.
367
00:16:35,394 --> 00:16:37,896
Dad, I'm not going to enjoy
the rest of this trip
368
00:16:37,931 --> 00:16:40,032
until we return
that woman's lighter.
369
00:16:40,067 --> 00:16:42,134
Mother, do you expect me
to turn around
370
00:16:42,169 --> 00:16:44,636
and drive 150 miles back
371
00:16:45,137 --> 00:16:46,138
to that Litt
le Red Cabin?
372
00:16:46,173 --> 00:16:48,407
ng.
We are not goi
373
00:16:48,442 --> 00:16:50,642
n.
End of discussio
374
00:16:51,143 --> 00:16:52,011
Clifford.
375
00:16:55,848 --> 00:16:59,149
Good news. I'm on my way.
376
00:16:59,184 --> 00:17:01,485
k All right, Niles s
ays he can make it bac
377
00:17:01,520 --> 00:17:03,522
to the restaurant wher
e we first got separated
378
00:17:03,557 --> 00:17:05,524
All I have to do now i
s turn this boat around.
379
00:17:05,559 --> 00:17:07,426
30 miles
to the next exit.
380
00:17:07,461 --> 00:17:09,259
I can't wait that long.
381
00:17:09,294 --> 00:17:11,196
Well, you can't do a U-ey
on an interstate.
382
00:17:11,231 --> 00:17:13,098
That's 20th-century talk, Dad.
383
00:17:13,133 --> 00:17:14,600
Welcome to the future!
384
00:17:27,179 --> 00:17:28,946
at!
God, that felt gre
385
00:17:28,981 --> 00:17:30,482
, Wow! This is reall
y quite an adventure
386
00:17:30,517 --> 00:17:31,483
d?
isn't it, Da
387
00:17:34,420 --> 00:17:36,388
w.
It is no
388
00:17:36,423 --> 00:17:38,322
Oh, dear God.
389
00:17:38,357 --> 00:17:40,659
All right,
just relax, Frasier.
390
00:17:40,694 --> 00:17:41,392
Now, I know cops.
391
00:17:41,427 --> 00:17:42,393
Just let me do
the talking.
392
00:17:42,428 --> 00:17:43,829
We'll be out of here
in two minutes.
393
00:17:43,864 --> 00:17:46,165
All right, Dad, let's switch.
394
00:17:53,539 --> 00:17:56,507
e.
Well, look who's her
395
00:17:56,542 --> 00:17:58,544
You boys know what y
ou did wrong back there
396
00:17:58,579 --> 00:18:01,564
Yeah, yeah, I know.
A U-turn.
397
00:18:01,599 --> 00:18:04,550
Nope. Called
me a goober.
398
00:18:16,295 --> 00:18:18,328
s,
Oh, Nile
399
00:18:18,363 --> 00:18:19,981
I'm so sorry
we're late.
400
00:18:20,016 --> 00:18:21,565
Well, well, not to worry.
401
00:18:21,600 --> 00:18:23,469
When you're here
at the crossroads of the world,
402
00:18:23,504 --> 00:18:25,922
you have the human drama
to amuse you.
403
00:18:25,957 --> 00:18:28,333
Well, Happy
New Year, boys
404
00:18:28,368 --> 00:18:30,674
Oh, yes, five minutes ago.
405
00:18:30,709 --> 00:18:33,078
Everyone in the world will have
a wonderful story to tell
406
00:18:33,113 --> 00:18:34,546
about where they were
and what they were doing
407
00:18:34,581 --> 00:18:36,849
when the millennium dawned.
408
00:18:36,884 --> 00:18:39,349
What isourstory?
409
00:18:39,384 --> 00:18:41,970
Speeding along a lonely highway.
410
00:18:42,005 --> 00:18:43,948
And you here, doing nothing.
411
00:18:43,983 --> 00:18:45,856
Well, not exactly nothing.
412
00:18:45,891 --> 00:18:48,076
Big Sandy let me watch
the register
413
00:18:48,111 --> 00:18:50,262
while she emptied the rat traps.
414
00:18:54,066 --> 00:18:55,450
Hey, wait a minute
415
00:18:55,485 --> 00:18:56,800
we?
Where are
416
00:18:56,835 --> 00:18:58,302
Well, Dad, I've
never seen a picture
417
00:18:58,337 --> 00:18:59,304
of the official middle
of nowhere, but...
418
00:18:59,805 --> 00:19:01,340
ere Yeah, yeah, yeah,
but the middle of nowh
419
00:19:01,375 --> 00:19:02,806
ht?
Mountain Time, rig
420
00:19:02,841 --> 00:19:06,143
It's still only
11:05, Pacific Time.
421
00:19:06,178 --> 00:19:07,980
Which can't be more
than 45 minutes from here.
422
00:19:08,015 --> 00:19:08,947
ne Right. We ca n cross the li
423
00:19:09,448 --> 00:19:09,948
r! and toast in the new year togethe
424
00:19:09,983 --> 00:19:11,615
Dad, that's brilliant!
425
00:19:11,650 --> 00:19:12,718
And there was a delightful-
looking little restaurant
426
00:19:13,218 --> 00:19:14,219
just across the border
427
00:19:14,720 --> 00:19:15,721
Well, the guidebook said
it was pretentious.
428
00:19:15,756 --> 00:19:17,222
Perfect! Let's roll!
429
00:19:18,223 --> 00:19:19,723
We're running
out of time!
430
00:19:19,758 --> 00:19:21,276
er, Well, I'm doin g my best, Frasi
431
00:19:21,311 --> 00:19:22,794
but we seem to
be losing power.
432
00:19:23,795 --> 00:19:24,761
What is that noise?
433
00:19:24,796 --> 00:19:26,163
What's wrong
with the engine?
434
00:19:26,198 --> 00:19:28,465
I didn't touch t
he emergency brake.
435
00:19:28,500 --> 00:19:31,203
When was the last time
you put gas in this thing?
436
00:19:31,238 --> 00:19:33,089
Me? I don't even know
where the thing is
437
00:19:33,124 --> 00:19:34,940
to put the gas into. MARTIN : Oh, no
438
00:19:34,975 --> 00:19:36,375
I'm sorry, boys. It's dying.
439
00:19:36,875 --> 00:19:39,144
I'm going to be lucky
to get this off the road.
440
00:19:39,179 --> 00:19:42,212
I can't stand this!
441
00:19:42,247 --> 00:19:43,547
Have we so offended
the millennium gods
442
00:19:43,582 --> 00:19:46,051
that they will do anything
to ruin this evening?
443
00:19:46,086 --> 00:19:47,519
Burn down our restaurant?!
444
00:19:48,053 --> 00:19:51,557
Hurl vindictive lawmen
and duplicate Winnebagos
445
00:19:51,592 --> 00:19:53,959
in our path
to confound us?!
446
00:19:53,994 --> 00:19:55,161
Wait, is that a sign?
447
00:19:55,196 --> 00:19:56,293
Of course it's a sign!
448
00:19:56,328 --> 00:19:58,230
It's a sign
that we're cursed!
449
00:19:58,265 --> 00:19:59,832
No, no, no, it i
s! It's a sign!
450
00:19:59,867 --> 00:20:01,400
We're entering
Pacific Time Zone!
451
00:20:01,867 --> 00:20:02,934
Oh, my God
452
00:20:02,969 --> 00:20:03,967
We're here
453
00:20:04,002 --> 00:20:06,970
We made it!
We made it, oh!
454
00:20:07,005 --> 00:20:09,508
Come on, Eddie.
Oh, 30 seconds to spare!
455
00:20:10,008 --> 00:20:11,076
t.
All righ
456
00:20:11,111 --> 00:20:12,109
We're rolling!
457
00:20:12,144 --> 00:20:14,246
We're rolling backwards! Oh, no!
458
00:20:14,281 --> 00:20:16,348
No need to
panic, Frasier
459
00:20:19,851 --> 00:20:22,854
We rolled
back into Idaho!
460
00:20:22,889 --> 00:20:25,090
Follow me!
461
00:20:26,391 --> 00:20:27,357
Ten seconds.
462
00:20:27,392 --> 00:20:29,361
ve!
Let's look ali
463
00:20:29,396 --> 00:20:31,295
Damn this foil
464
00:20:31,330 --> 00:20:32,264
You can do it, Fras.
465
00:20:32,764 --> 00:20:34,416
Relax and focus.
466
00:20:34,451 --> 00:20:36,068
Three, two, one...
467
00:20:38,070 --> 00:20:40,505
A- ha! We made it!
Happy New Year!
468
00:20:40,540 --> 00:20:41,991
Happy New Year
469
00:20:42,026 --> 00:20:43,407
re.
There we a
470
00:20:43,442 --> 00:20:44,908
Well, if you ask me...
471
00:20:44,943 --> 00:20:47,211
Dad. this beats a dull party.
472
00:20:47,246 --> 00:20:51,383
Family, and good champagne,
and a blanket of stars.
473
00:20:51,418 --> 00:20:52,684
Hear, hear
474
00:20:52,719 --> 00:20:54,186
Ah.
475
00:20:57,189 --> 00:20:58,190
t?
You know wha
476
00:20:58,690 --> 00:21:00,958
ng. I think this calls for a so
477
00:21:00,993 --> 00:21:06,063
dd Should auld acquaintanc
e be forgot dd
478
00:21:06,098 --> 00:21:11,370
dd
dd And never brought to mind...
479
00:21:16,108 --> 00:21:19,144
dd Should auld acquaintanc
e be forgot dd
480
00:21:19,179 --> 00:21:22,648
dd For auld lang syne. dd
481
00:21:26,685 --> 00:21:28,720
dd Hey, baby, I hear the blues
a'callin' dd
482
00:21:28,755 --> 00:21:31,423
dd Tossed salads
and scrambled eggs dd
483
00:21:31,458 --> 00:21:33,425
dd Oh, my dd
484
00:21:33,925 --> 00:21:36,561
dd And maybe
I seem a bit confused dd
485
00:21:36,596 --> 00:21:39,197
dd Well, maybe,
but I got you pegged dd
486
00:21:41,166 --> 00:21:42,599
dd But I don't know
what to do dd
487
00:21:42,634 --> 00:21:47,406
dd With those tossed salad
s and scrambled eggs dd
488
00:21:47,441 --> 00:21:49,840
dd They're callin' again.
dd
489
00:21:49,875 --> 00:21:52,811
Good night, Seattle!
We love you!
34245
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