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1
00:00:15,975 --> 00:00:18,561
Okay. Let's see where we are.
2
00:00:19,103 --> 00:00:22,815
We could move this, get rid of that, kill that.
3
00:00:23,065 --> 00:00:27,486
That kind of freaks me out. Don't need her.
We can get rid of that.
4
00:00:27,945 --> 00:00:29,989
That's done. Okay, we could start with this.
5
00:00:30,156 --> 00:00:33,200
I know it's a hard-hitting piece,
but come on, you guys, it's the Internet.
6
00:00:33,284 --> 00:00:35,578
We need traffic, traffic, traffic.
What do you got?
7
00:00:35,745 --> 00:00:38,289
– How about this?
– It's perfect.
8
00:00:38,414 --> 00:00:40,791
Now, doesn't she look smart and
knowledgeable about immigration reform?
9
00:00:40,958 --> 00:00:42,793
– Yeah.
– Yeah, yeah. She does, right?
10
00:00:42,919 --> 00:00:45,212
I'm fucking with you people.
This isn't a porn site.
11
00:00:45,296 --> 00:00:46,964
What are we, nerds trying to look at boobies?
12
00:00:47,590 --> 00:00:48,841
Come on, keep looking.
13
00:00:49,592 --> 00:00:51,344
Shit! Hello?
14
00:00:51,427 --> 00:00:53,930
Hey! Baby, where are you?
Are you still at work?
15
00:00:54,096 --> 00:00:55,348
No! Not even close.
16
00:00:55,431 --> 00:00:56,933
Just so you know,
the movie starts in 10 minutes.
17
00:00:57,016 --> 00:00:58,809
– I know! Give me your pants.
– What?
18
00:00:58,935 --> 00:01:00,519
– I'll buy you lunch tomorrow. Come on.
– No.
19
00:01:00,686 --> 00:01:02,480
I'm your boss. Give me your pants.
20
00:01:02,688 --> 00:01:05,024
Please try not to be late.
I really hate missing the beginning.
21
00:01:05,107 --> 00:01:06,275
I know. I know.
22
00:01:08,277 --> 00:01:09,779
Give me your pants. I'm coming, baby.
23
00:01:10,780 --> 00:01:11,781
I'm almost there!
24
00:01:12,114 --> 00:01:14,283
– How far away?
– I think I see you!
25
00:01:15,785 --> 00:01:17,995
– Where are you? I'm here.
– So am I.
26
00:01:18,329 --> 00:01:19,914
So many people. What are you wearing?
27
00:01:19,997 --> 00:01:22,458
I'm wearing the only clothes
outside the theatre,
28
00:01:22,541 --> 00:01:25,294
because I'm the only person
outside the theatre!
29
00:01:25,461 --> 00:01:27,505
I love that outfit. You look so sexy in that.
30
00:01:27,630 --> 00:01:29,131
You know that I love this movie.
31
00:01:29,215 --> 00:01:32,969
If a prostitute and a ruthless businessman
can fall in love,
32
00:01:33,844 --> 00:01:34,887
then anyone can.
33
00:01:34,971 --> 00:01:37,139
I know this means a lot to you,
which means it means a lot to me.
34
00:01:37,223 --> 00:01:38,641
Well, apparently it doesn't.
35
00:01:38,724 --> 00:01:40,059
I'm looking at you right now. I can see you!
36
00:01:40,309 --> 00:01:41,477
Jamie!
37
00:01:42,186 --> 00:01:43,229
Hey!
38
00:01:44,480 --> 00:01:45,523
– Hey.
– You made it.
39
00:01:45,648 --> 00:01:47,400
– Yeah. Hey.
– Hi.
40
00:01:47,483 --> 00:01:49,986
– Sorry I'm late.
– It's okay. I got us sandwiches.
41
00:01:50,069 --> 00:01:52,405
I got you turkey, no cheese,
gluten-free bread.
42
00:01:52,571 --> 00:01:54,490
You sure this was prepared
in a nut-free facility?
43
00:01:55,032 --> 00:01:56,826
Yes, I'm fully aware of your allergies.
44
00:01:56,993 --> 00:02:00,830
Hey, I'm here! I'm here. I'm really sorry.
45
00:02:01,038 --> 00:02:02,665
We missed Your Body Is a Wonderland.
46
00:02:02,748 --> 00:02:04,709
Okay. Only one song.
That's not so bad, right?
47
00:02:04,834 --> 00:02:06,210
It was fucking Your Body Is a Wonderland!
48
00:02:06,335 --> 00:02:10,172
Well, the good news is,
he has so many good ones.
49
00:02:10,381 --> 00:02:13,968
Here's an idea: next time,
instead of being late, just shit on my face.
50
00:02:14,051 --> 00:02:16,721
'Cause that's kind of the same thing
as missing Your Body Is a Wonderland.
51
00:02:16,846 --> 00:02:17,972
Okay, come on. We really gotta go in.
52
00:02:18,055 --> 00:02:20,266
Julia Roberts is about to put on
her really tall boots.
53
00:02:22,101 --> 00:02:23,394
We need to talk.
54
00:02:27,606 --> 00:02:28,691
I think we should take a break.
55
00:02:28,774 --> 00:02:31,110
I just feel like
we should chill for a while, you know?
56
00:02:31,193 --> 00:02:32,987
– You're doing this?
– You're breaking up with me?
57
00:02:33,070 --> 00:02:34,405
You said I was your soul mate.
58
00:02:34,572 --> 00:02:35,740
I did? When?
59
00:02:35,865 --> 00:02:38,325
When we were at that bed and breakfast
having sex.
60
00:02:38,409 --> 00:02:39,910
– But, you know, that doesn't…
– That doesn't what?
61
00:02:40,202 --> 00:02:43,205
– Count.
– I was tied up at work. I'm sorry.
62
00:02:43,372 --> 00:02:45,624
Maybe you should care
a little bit less about work
63
00:02:45,708 --> 00:02:47,918
and a little more
about the girl that you're dating.
64
00:02:48,085 --> 00:02:51,422
'Cause last time I checked,
work doesn't reassure you
65
00:02:51,547 --> 00:02:54,008
that liking a finger up your ass
doesn't make you gay.
66
00:02:54,091 --> 00:02:56,927
I never said "go up." Okay?
67
00:02:57,053 --> 00:03:00,431
I just said lightly around…
It's like a little button.
68
00:03:00,556 --> 00:03:02,433
You know what? Not your issue anymore.
69
00:03:02,558 --> 00:03:03,684
Is this why you were late?
70
00:03:03,768 --> 00:03:05,269
You were worried
about how to break up with me?
71
00:03:05,394 --> 00:03:07,730
Oh, no, no.
I was trying to decide what to wear.
72
00:03:07,897 --> 00:03:10,066
– So, you went with sneakers and a hoodie.
– Yeah.
73
00:03:10,232 --> 00:03:11,901
What, are you gonna
take the SATs after this?
74
00:03:12,068 --> 00:03:13,819
Don't lash out, okay?
75
00:03:13,903 --> 00:03:15,613
– You're better than that.
– I'm really not.
76
00:03:15,738 --> 00:03:17,406
I just think
we're heading in different directions.
77
00:03:17,490 --> 00:03:19,909
Yeah, you to the John Mayer concert
and me not.
78
00:03:20,076 --> 00:03:22,411
Thank you for doing this
before the concert, by the way.
79
00:03:22,745 --> 00:03:24,497
Best breakup ever.
80
00:03:24,663 --> 00:03:26,749
He is the Sheryl Crow of our generation!
81
00:03:26,916 --> 00:03:28,167
Let me just ask you a quick question.
82
00:03:28,250 --> 00:03:32,254
And just know that I am not at all
crushed by this breakup.
83
00:03:32,588 --> 00:03:34,256
So, be honest. Why?
84
00:03:34,340 --> 00:03:35,633
– Wait, is this a trick?
– No.
85
00:03:35,758 --> 00:03:37,593
Just pure anthropological research.
86
00:03:37,760 --> 00:03:39,678
Okay. You want someone
to sweep you off your feet,
87
00:03:39,762 --> 00:03:42,556
but you're more interested
in getting swept off your feet
88
00:03:42,640 --> 00:03:43,849
than the someone who's doing the sweeping.
89
00:03:44,183 --> 00:03:46,143
You seem like you've got it totally together,
90
00:03:46,268 --> 00:03:48,104
but you're actually
really emotionally damaged.
91
00:03:48,187 --> 00:03:51,649
Also, you have, like, really big eyes,
and that freaks me out sometimes…
92
00:03:51,774 --> 00:03:53,859
Thank you. That's enough.
93
00:03:53,943 --> 00:03:55,403
It is not you at all.
94
00:03:55,486 --> 00:03:58,614
Of course it's me! You can't say that.
You're breaking up with me!
95
00:03:58,864 --> 00:04:01,492
It's not. It's me. I don't like you anymore.
96
00:04:01,617 --> 00:04:03,994
This is my fault. You deserve better than me.
97
00:04:04,120 --> 00:04:05,329
You're a great guy.
98
00:04:05,454 --> 00:04:08,749
A little too emotionally unavailable,
if you ask me.
99
00:04:08,833 --> 00:04:09,875
I didn't.
100
00:04:09,959 --> 00:04:11,210
I really want to stay friends.
101
00:04:11,293 --> 00:04:12,795
– Let's stay friends.
– Sure.
102
00:04:13,003 --> 00:04:14,046
Totally.
103
00:04:16,132 --> 00:04:17,174
John Mayer.
104
00:04:18,008 --> 00:04:19,510
John fucking Mayer!
105
00:04:20,386 --> 00:04:21,470
Come here, you.
106
00:04:22,304 --> 00:04:24,140
You're gonna get through this.
107
00:04:26,475 --> 00:04:31,313
Why do relationships always start off so fun
and then turn into suck-a-bag-o-dicks?
108
00:04:31,397 --> 00:04:35,651
I really have to stop buying into this bullshit
Hollywood cliché of true love.
109
00:04:36,694 --> 00:04:39,530
Shut up, Katherine Heigl! You stupid liar!
110
00:04:39,655 --> 00:04:42,825
I'm just gonna work and fuck.
Like George Clooney.
111
00:04:42,992 --> 00:04:45,661
I'm just gonna
shut myself down emotionally.
112
00:04:47,329 --> 00:04:48,998
Like George Clooney.
113
00:04:58,507 --> 00:04:59,550
Hello.
114
00:05:00,009 --> 00:05:01,177
Seat up, please, sir.
115
00:05:02,011 --> 00:05:03,012
Is that the Hudson River?
116
00:05:03,721 --> 00:05:05,890
No. It's the East River.
117
00:05:06,182 --> 00:05:10,019
So we won't be landing on it, then,
like that flight,
118
00:05:10,394 --> 00:05:13,272
you know, with that captain
they keep giving medals to?
119
00:05:14,523 --> 00:05:15,941
That pilot was a hero.
120
00:05:18,444 --> 00:05:19,528
Asshole.
121
00:05:21,113 --> 00:05:22,865
Plane actually did a lot of the work.
122
00:05:24,033 --> 00:05:26,869
I think I found the perfect guy
to fill that job at GQ.
123
00:05:27,286 --> 00:05:29,205
No, he's landing early. I'm scrambling.
124
00:05:29,580 --> 00:05:32,458
No, he's not sold on the job yet,
but I'll get him there. I always do.
125
00:05:32,708 --> 00:05:34,793
I'm even picking him up in a hybrid.
126
00:05:35,211 --> 00:05:37,588
He's from LA.
I figured he's into all that bullshit.
127
00:05:38,047 --> 00:05:39,965
Hey, sir, what's that tall building over there?
128
00:05:40,799 --> 00:05:41,884
Empire State Building.
129
00:05:41,967 --> 00:05:43,427
No, no, no, no. No. The other one.
130
00:05:43,552 --> 00:05:47,348
The really, really tall one
with the antenna on top of it, the windows.
131
00:05:47,431 --> 00:05:48,933
That is Empire State Building.
132
00:05:49,808 --> 00:05:51,602
Oh, yeah. You're right. King Kong.
133
00:05:51,727 --> 00:05:52,770
Hey…
134
00:05:57,274 --> 00:06:00,069
Oh, hey! Are you done with this? All met up?
135
00:06:00,152 --> 00:06:02,738
Great. Welcome to New York,
Ms Penderghast.
136
00:06:03,113 --> 00:06:04,281
Yeah.
137
00:06:14,750 --> 00:06:18,128
Oh, no. Excuse me. Sorry.
138
00:06:18,337 --> 00:06:19,421
Okay.
139
00:06:23,676 --> 00:06:25,803
– Can you hand me my bag?
– Sure. Which one?
140
00:06:25,928 --> 00:06:27,012
– The one with the straps.
– Okay.
141
00:06:27,096 --> 00:06:28,180
There.
142
00:06:28,681 --> 00:06:29,932
Okay.
143
00:06:30,933 --> 00:06:33,102
– Thank you.
– Welcome to New York, sir.
144
00:06:36,522 --> 00:06:38,482
– Excuse me.
– Yeah.
145
00:06:39,316 --> 00:06:41,277
That's me.
Which one, the blue or the yellow?
146
00:06:41,652 --> 00:06:44,446
No. The makeshift sign made out of lipstick,
that's me.
147
00:06:45,281 --> 00:06:46,991
– You're Dylan Harper.
– I am.
148
00:06:47,283 --> 00:06:48,367
I'm Jamie Rellis.
149
00:06:48,534 --> 00:06:51,203
– You're picking me up from the airport.
– Hi. Yes, I am.
150
00:06:52,371 --> 00:06:53,580
You always pick people up like this?
151
00:06:53,664 --> 00:06:55,541
Yeah, you know,
I like to keep things interesting.
152
00:06:55,833 --> 00:06:57,167
– Welcome to New York.
– Thank you.
153
00:06:58,210 --> 00:07:00,879
You're not exactly what comes to mind
when you think headhunter.
154
00:07:00,963 --> 00:07:04,174
Yeah, I prefer "executive recruiter."
Headhunter sounds a little creepy.
155
00:07:04,300 --> 00:07:06,802
You did stalk me for six months.
Kind of creepy.
156
00:07:07,469 --> 00:07:08,554
Here, here, here, I'll take it.
157
00:07:09,305 --> 00:07:11,515
You're really gonna carry my bag?
You're that girl?
158
00:07:11,724 --> 00:07:14,727
No. I'm gonna change your life. I'm that girl.
159
00:07:15,811 --> 00:07:17,062
My life is already pretty great.
160
00:07:17,146 --> 00:07:20,482
Oh, really? 'Cause you wouldn't be here
if your life were already pretty great.
161
00:07:20,983 --> 00:07:23,319
A free trip to New York.
I'd be an idiot to turn that down.
162
00:07:23,402 --> 00:07:26,322
Well, then I guess you must have been
an idiot for the past six months.
163
00:07:27,406 --> 00:07:29,533
Yeah, a lot of people
would say longer than that.
164
00:07:29,742 --> 00:07:31,535
It's a huge opportunity, Dylan.
165
00:07:31,660 --> 00:07:34,580
Art director of GQ magazine.
This is the big leagues.
166
00:07:35,039 --> 00:07:36,832
I mean, no offence to your little blog
on the Internet.
167
00:07:36,999 --> 00:07:38,917
Which got six million hits last month.
168
00:07:39,043 --> 00:07:41,920
I could put up a video of me mixing
cake batter with my boobs
169
00:07:42,171 --> 00:07:43,547
and it will get eight million hits.
170
00:07:43,672 --> 00:07:46,675
It's been done. Dunkin-My-Tits-Hynes.com.
171
00:07:47,176 --> 00:07:48,177
Really?
172
00:07:48,844 --> 00:07:51,639
Well, look, there's no question that
you are talented at what you do,
173
00:07:51,722 --> 00:07:53,515
but this is GQ.
174
00:07:53,849 --> 00:07:55,434
New York's so crowded.
175
00:07:56,393 --> 00:07:58,562
Look around. I'm from LA, okay?
176
00:07:58,687 --> 00:08:01,774
– I like my open spaces.
– What are you, a gazelle?
177
00:08:02,232 --> 00:08:04,068
Come on,
what's really worrying you about this?
178
00:08:06,278 --> 00:08:10,199
I don't know. I don't want to be the guy
who took something legendary
179
00:08:10,282 --> 00:08:13,035
and shit the bed with it.
Excuse the expression.
180
00:08:13,369 --> 00:08:16,080
Well, then don't be the guy who shit the bed.
Excuse the expression.
181
00:08:16,705 --> 00:08:19,249
Be the guy
who made the bed legendary again.
182
00:08:20,542 --> 00:08:23,587
Listen, we'll get some coffee in you
before the interview. You'll be fine.
183
00:08:23,879 --> 00:08:28,801
I'm sorry, not coffee.
Some green tea, soy, organic hemp bullshit.
184
00:08:29,802 --> 00:08:30,928
Really hot in New York.
185
00:08:31,261 --> 00:08:32,554
Doesn't it get hot in LA?
186
00:08:32,638 --> 00:08:34,515
Yeah, it gets hot in LA, but it's the humidity.
187
00:08:34,598 --> 00:08:37,393
In LA, if it's 90 degrees,
it feels like 90 degrees. But…
188
00:08:37,559 --> 00:08:38,936
– Right.
– If it's hot in New York,
189
00:08:39,103 --> 00:08:40,896
it's 90 degrees, it's like 100,000 degrees.
190
00:08:40,979 --> 00:08:43,148
This conversation about weather
is really fascinating,
191
00:08:43,232 --> 00:08:44,983
but lucky for me, we are here.
192
00:08:46,443 --> 00:08:47,486
So, good luck.
193
00:08:48,320 --> 00:08:52,116
Whatever happens, happens.
I told you, I don't really want it.
194
00:08:52,408 --> 00:08:55,411
Just do me a favour?
Act like you do so that I look good.
195
00:08:55,494 --> 00:08:57,788
– I can do that.
– Okay. Go get 'em.
196
00:08:57,913 --> 00:08:59,248
This is great, by the way.
197
00:09:09,007 --> 00:09:10,342
Watch it!
198
00:09:20,936 --> 00:09:22,938
– Hey!
– You're still here?
199
00:09:23,272 --> 00:09:25,482
Yeah. Well, it's my job.
200
00:09:25,607 --> 00:09:26,650
Nice.
201
00:09:26,775 --> 00:09:29,278
So, tell me, how'd it go?
202
00:09:30,112 --> 00:09:32,239
They bought it.
You're safe for a little while longer.
203
00:09:32,322 --> 00:09:34,616
Well, thank you. I owe you one.
204
00:09:38,954 --> 00:09:39,997
This is from you.
205
00:09:40,456 --> 00:09:41,498
It's your offer.
206
00:09:41,623 --> 00:09:44,126
– Wait, I got it?
– They called about five minutes ago.
207
00:09:45,294 --> 00:09:48,297
Congratulations. Offer expires at midnight.
208
00:09:49,465 --> 00:09:51,133
Why didn't you just tell me
instead of texting me?
209
00:09:51,300 --> 00:09:52,634
'Cause it's more dramatic.
210
00:09:55,304 --> 00:09:56,972
Dylan, you are not gonna shit the bed.
211
00:09:57,556 --> 00:09:59,475
I've seen your work. It's amazing.
212
00:10:00,142 --> 00:10:01,351
It's a huge move.
213
00:10:01,518 --> 00:10:03,645
Would you uproot your entire life for a job?
Be honest.
214
00:10:03,812 --> 00:10:05,981
Well, no. For a job, probably not.
215
00:10:06,231 --> 00:10:09,985
But for New York? Yeah, I would.
216
00:10:10,152 --> 00:10:12,362
Which is why I'm not gonna
try to sell you on the job,
217
00:10:12,488 --> 00:10:13,739
I'm gonna sell you on New York.
218
00:10:13,989 --> 00:10:15,157
It's New York!
219
00:10:15,491 --> 00:10:16,533
I've seen Seinfeld.
220
00:10:16,700 --> 00:10:18,744
Not the bullshit tourist version.
221
00:10:21,330 --> 00:10:22,956
Puppy dog eyes. Nice touch.
222
00:10:23,040 --> 00:10:24,500
Yes! Come on.
223
00:10:24,666 --> 00:10:26,001
Let me buy you a drink.
224
00:10:29,505 --> 00:10:30,547
What's wrong?
225
00:10:31,048 --> 00:10:32,591
What are you waiting for?
226
00:10:32,716 --> 00:10:33,801
The light to change.
227
00:10:33,884 --> 00:10:35,511
You LA folk are so cute.
228
00:10:35,844 --> 00:10:36,929
Come on.
229
00:10:37,095 --> 00:10:38,138
Come on, it's fine.
230
00:10:38,222 --> 00:10:39,264
– See?
– Yep.
231
00:10:39,348 --> 00:10:40,432
I'm gonna die.
232
00:10:40,516 --> 00:10:44,520
Here we have Brooklyn Bridge,
downtown Manhattan,
233
00:10:45,020 --> 00:10:47,856
and right in front of us, an outdoor bar.
234
00:10:49,358 --> 00:10:51,568
Alcohol. Now we're talking.
235
00:10:54,863 --> 00:10:56,198
You know, I like you.
236
00:10:56,740 --> 00:10:58,075
I'll give you your choice of closes.
237
00:10:59,243 --> 00:11:01,453
– What?
– How I close you on this job.
238
00:11:01,537 --> 00:11:04,081
– Okay.
– So we got the flattery close.
239
00:11:04,373 --> 00:11:07,793
Dylan, you are so good at what you do.
240
00:11:07,876 --> 00:11:09,211
The take-it-or-leave-it close.
241
00:11:09,711 --> 00:11:12,214
Man, I don't care if you take it.
I get paid regardless.
242
00:11:12,464 --> 00:11:13,799
The sympathy close.
243
00:11:14,132 --> 00:11:15,342
You see, my kidneys are failing…
244
00:11:15,425 --> 00:11:17,970
Why do women think the only way
to get a man to do what they want
245
00:11:18,053 --> 00:11:19,221
is to manipulate him?
246
00:11:19,388 --> 00:11:23,225
History. Personal experience.
Romantic comedies.
247
00:11:24,059 --> 00:11:26,562
Come on, you're here for a reason,
whether you want to admit it or not.
248
00:11:26,728 --> 00:11:29,815
Yeah, to explore an option.
Who wouldn't want to know their options?
249
00:11:29,982 --> 00:11:31,400
Someone who's in the perfect situation.
250
00:11:31,608 --> 00:11:32,734
Are you in the perfect situation?
251
00:11:32,818 --> 00:11:34,903
Job? Absolutely.
252
00:11:35,070 --> 00:11:37,239
Everything else? None of your business.
253
00:11:41,451 --> 00:11:42,536
Shaun!
254
00:11:42,911 --> 00:11:43,912
– Jamie!
– Hey!
255
00:11:44,037 --> 00:11:45,664
– Hey, what's up, baby?
– What are you doing here?
256
00:11:45,747 --> 00:11:46,832
– Shaun White?
– You look great.
257
00:11:46,915 --> 00:11:49,084
– You been working out?
– Nope. Just been eating a lot.
258
00:11:49,251 --> 00:11:50,460
– Okay.
– Yeah.
259
00:11:50,586 --> 00:11:51,670
– You want a drink?
– Yeah!
260
00:11:51,753 --> 00:11:52,921
– Let me get you a drink. Yeah?
– Okay.
261
00:11:53,088 --> 00:11:55,424
– Careful! Careful.
– Sorry.
262
00:11:55,549 --> 00:11:58,468
Hey, bro, that was like
a double McTwist 1260.
263
00:12:00,053 --> 00:12:02,472
– Yeah, like the trick.
– Yeah, yeah, yeah. Dylan.
264
00:12:02,598 --> 00:12:04,141
Jamie, you want to get this guy
out of my face
265
00:12:04,266 --> 00:12:05,601
before I break his fucking skull?
266
00:12:06,935 --> 00:12:08,812
Sorry, bro. No disrespect. I'm a huge fan.
267
00:12:08,937 --> 00:12:12,316
You don't fucking know me, man!
Don't talk to me like you know me!
268
00:12:12,441 --> 00:12:15,110
What, you think I'm all chill
'cause I snowboard and shit?
269
00:12:15,277 --> 00:12:17,779
One more word,
I'll fuck you up like dynamite!
270
00:12:18,614 --> 00:12:19,656
Dynamite?
271
00:12:19,948 --> 00:12:21,617
I'm just playing, bro.
272
00:12:22,784 --> 00:12:24,620
Any friend of Jamie's is cool with me.
273
00:12:24,786 --> 00:12:27,122
– It's all good, man.
– All good.
274
00:12:27,247 --> 00:12:29,791
I'm whispering in the ear of a dead man.
275
00:12:30,500 --> 00:12:31,585
I'll see you later.
276
00:12:31,668 --> 00:12:32,753
– Good to see you.
– Bye, honey.
277
00:12:34,129 --> 00:12:37,841
Shaun White seems really great. Nice dude.
278
00:12:38,634 --> 00:12:40,802
– How do you know him again?
– I took his virginity.
279
00:12:41,845 --> 00:12:43,388
So you guys have known
each other for a while?
280
00:12:43,472 --> 00:12:44,973
No, it was like eight months ago.
281
00:12:45,807 --> 00:12:46,850
Wow.
282
00:12:47,643 --> 00:12:49,186
So does the carpet match the drapes?
283
00:12:49,645 --> 00:12:52,022
It's hardwood floors,
if you know what I mean.
284
00:12:52,147 --> 00:12:54,274
My God! Terrible visual.
285
00:12:54,358 --> 00:12:56,985
Totally kidding, by the way.
Just an old friend of mine.
286
00:12:58,362 --> 00:13:00,155
You guys use the same leave-in conditioner.
287
00:13:00,614 --> 00:13:02,449
His hair had nice body.
288
00:13:02,532 --> 00:13:04,451
Can I get two gyro number sixes,
extra sauce?
289
00:13:06,662 --> 00:13:08,038
– What are you looking for?
– The cops.
290
00:13:08,330 --> 00:13:09,706
– Come on.
– The cops?
291
00:13:09,831 --> 00:13:10,999
Yep.
292
00:13:11,500 --> 00:13:13,001
Come on!
293
00:13:16,046 --> 00:13:17,839
– Where are you taking me?
– You'll see.
294
00:13:31,853 --> 00:13:33,814
Well, here's your open space.
295
00:13:33,897 --> 00:13:36,358
Run, gazelle. Run!
296
00:13:39,069 --> 00:13:43,198
– Wow. This is unbelievable.
– I know.
297
00:13:46,702 --> 00:13:48,704
Okay, this was not on Seinfeld.
298
00:13:49,413 --> 00:13:51,873
Come on,
what's your dad think about all this?
299
00:13:54,042 --> 00:13:55,419
About what?
300
00:13:55,669 --> 00:13:56,670
Well, he must have an opinion.
301
00:13:56,753 --> 00:13:58,839
He used to write for the LA Times
for 23 years.
302
00:14:00,090 --> 00:14:01,341
Somebody did their homework.
303
00:14:01,675 --> 00:14:05,679
I have this thing at work. It's called Google.
304
00:14:06,012 --> 00:14:07,931
Come on, what's he think about the job?
305
00:14:09,099 --> 00:14:10,183
Actually, I didn't ask him.
306
00:14:10,684 --> 00:14:12,227
Well, then you must know what he'd say.
307
00:14:16,857 --> 00:14:21,361
He'd tell me to go with my gut and that
he'd be proud of me no matter what I did.
308
00:14:23,572 --> 00:14:24,906
Sounds like a really great man.
309
00:14:27,033 --> 00:14:28,076
Yeah, he is.
310
00:14:28,535 --> 00:14:30,871
Hey, do you want to
see something really cool?
311
00:14:31,121 --> 00:14:33,457
I always want to see something really cool.
What…
312
00:14:33,915 --> 00:14:34,958
Come on.
313
00:14:36,293 --> 00:14:37,586
Okay.
314
00:14:39,588 --> 00:14:42,257
Only place in the city
you can actually see the stars.
315
00:14:43,216 --> 00:14:44,426
– Wow.
– Yeah.
316
00:14:44,926 --> 00:14:46,762
– It's pretty awesome.
– I know.
317
00:14:47,804 --> 00:14:49,139
I like to come up here to think.
318
00:14:49,264 --> 00:14:52,100
Just when it gets a little too much
for me down there, it's like…
319
00:14:52,768 --> 00:14:54,478
It's like my New York version
of a mountaintop.
320
00:14:55,312 --> 00:14:58,148
Best part, no cell reception.
321
00:15:01,318 --> 00:15:02,819
You take all your recruits up here?
322
00:15:04,905 --> 00:15:07,282
Actually, never really taken anyone up here.
323
00:15:08,116 --> 00:15:09,451
– Really?
– Yeah.
324
00:15:09,785 --> 00:15:11,077
Thanks.
325
00:15:11,161 --> 00:15:13,413
If you tell anyone about this,
I will rip your ears off
326
00:15:13,497 --> 00:15:15,248
and staple them to your neck.
327
00:15:16,458 --> 00:15:19,169
Everyone in this city seems really violent.
328
00:15:21,004 --> 00:15:22,798
Come on, let's go. One last stop.
329
00:15:23,131 --> 00:15:25,509
– We're just getting comfortable.
– I know you are. Come on, buddy.
330
00:15:25,634 --> 00:15:27,969
It's New York. Now hustle. Come on.
331
00:15:28,261 --> 00:15:30,722
– Come on, come on.
– You're showing me Times Square.
332
00:15:30,806 --> 00:15:33,183
– This is not touristy at all!
– Would you shush? Come on.
333
00:15:33,308 --> 00:15:35,602
Do we have to power-walk
everywhere we go?
334
00:15:35,685 --> 00:15:36,978
Yes.
335
00:15:37,145 --> 00:15:40,899
So everybody just kind of walks
wherever they want, then.
336
00:15:40,982 --> 00:15:43,026
How 'bout right here?
337
00:15:43,360 --> 00:15:44,694
– What do you mean?
– We're here.
338
00:15:50,826 --> 00:15:52,160
Oh, my God, it's 1988.
339
00:15:52,327 --> 00:15:54,496
All right, smartass, give it five seconds.
340
00:16:19,354 --> 00:16:21,731
– What is this?
– It's a flash mob.
341
00:16:22,190 --> 00:16:24,317
– Like on Oprah!
– Exactly.
342
00:16:24,985 --> 00:16:26,027
Should we get out of the way?
343
00:16:26,153 --> 00:16:28,238
No, no. Enjoy it. Take it all in.
344
00:16:31,700 --> 00:16:33,243
– It's pretty damn cool.
– Right?
345
00:16:37,205 --> 00:16:38,373
It's kind of rad.
346
00:16:40,000 --> 00:16:41,376
Do these people get paid for this?
347
00:16:42,335 --> 00:16:45,255
No. No. They kind of just do it for fun.
348
00:16:46,381 --> 00:16:48,174
It's nice to feel
like you're a part of something.
349
00:16:48,258 --> 00:16:50,218
New York can be a little bit lonely at times.
350
00:16:50,760 --> 00:16:52,012
And you're trying to sell me on it.
351
00:16:52,262 --> 00:16:55,390
Every place can be a bit lonely sometimes.
352
00:17:00,228 --> 00:17:01,730
– Be careful!
– Oh, my God.
353
00:17:02,355 --> 00:17:03,565
– Come down.
– Okay.
354
00:17:11,907 --> 00:17:13,408
– Shit. Get back down.
– Okay.
355
00:17:23,710 --> 00:17:25,879
– I'm in.
– What?
356
00:17:26,880 --> 00:17:28,381
– You sold me.
– Really?
357
00:17:28,465 --> 00:17:30,133
– I'll take the job.
– Oh, my God!
358
00:17:30,258 --> 00:17:34,804
– What, are you surprised?
– No! No. Oh, you are gonna crush it!
359
00:17:35,931 --> 00:17:37,599
Amazing.
360
00:17:37,807 --> 00:17:41,269
– You can all go home now! Thank you!
– Very funny.
361
00:17:41,394 --> 00:17:42,437
Come on.
362
00:17:42,604 --> 00:17:45,273
Congratulations, sell-out!
363
00:17:45,398 --> 00:17:46,775
Thank you, thank you.
364
00:17:47,067 --> 00:17:49,152
All I'm saying is,
it wasn't so much the pilot's skill
365
00:17:49,277 --> 00:17:52,239
that landed that plane on the river
as much as the mechanics of the aircraft.
366
00:17:52,322 --> 00:17:54,741
Are you saying
that Captain Sully wasn't a hero?
367
00:17:54,824 --> 00:17:56,117
No, no.
368
00:17:56,785 --> 00:17:57,953
There were just other factors.
369
00:17:58,119 --> 00:17:59,955
Are you not an American?
370
00:18:11,633 --> 00:18:14,302
Hey, fuckface, you want to get your shit
out of my car or what?
371
00:18:14,636 --> 00:18:15,929
I… Yeah.
372
00:18:17,430 --> 00:18:20,141
Welcome to New York. Go and fuck a dick.
373
00:18:44,791 --> 00:18:45,792
Fuck.
374
00:18:45,875 --> 00:18:49,462
So, all I ask is that you give me
a little bit of time to gain your trust.
375
00:18:49,546 --> 00:18:54,175
I know that I'm new at this, but what I lack
in experience I make up for in clichés.
376
00:18:54,342 --> 00:18:55,844
So, my door is always open.
377
00:18:57,554 --> 00:19:01,349
But seriously, my door is always open.
378
00:19:04,019 --> 00:19:07,230
My first order of business, lighter doors.
379
00:19:08,481 --> 00:19:10,692
– Okay. Thanks, guys.
– Welcome, Dylan.
380
00:19:11,359 --> 00:19:14,237
Hey, man. Tommy Bollinger, sports editor.
381
00:19:14,487 --> 00:19:17,032
Tommy, I've read your articles.
Love your writing.
382
00:19:17,198 --> 00:19:18,783
Just trying to keep it realsies.
383
00:19:18,867 --> 00:19:22,078
Listen, I'd love to take you out one night
and troll for cock.
384
00:19:22,370 --> 00:19:24,581
– What?
– You got some pretty boys out there in LA,
385
00:19:24,706 --> 00:19:28,376
but the quality in this town is ridiculous.
386
00:19:28,710 --> 00:19:30,545
We can tear this shit up.
387
00:19:31,171 --> 00:19:32,213
I'm not gay, Tommy.
388
00:19:32,380 --> 00:19:36,009
Really? I just assumed,
art director and, you know…
389
00:19:36,176 --> 00:19:38,428
Hey. No skin, more pipe for me.
390
00:19:38,553 --> 00:19:41,264
By the way,
doing a piece on racism in hockey.
391
00:19:41,389 --> 00:19:43,516
Love to get your concepts on the font.
392
00:19:43,725 --> 00:19:47,437
I'm thinking Helvetica
but I could be persuaded to Courier New.
393
00:19:47,562 --> 00:19:50,774
But what the fuck do I know?
I'm just the sports editor.
394
00:19:52,567 --> 00:19:53,902
– You sure you're not gay?
– Yep.
395
00:19:54,235 --> 00:19:55,236
– I'm sure.
– Okay.
396
00:19:55,361 --> 00:19:57,030
All right.
397
00:19:59,407 --> 00:20:01,034
– Hey.
– Hey.
398
00:20:01,117 --> 00:20:03,703
I'd knock, but you don't have a door.
399
00:20:03,787 --> 00:20:05,163
– I don't.
– No.
400
00:20:05,246 --> 00:20:06,414
Hey, check this out.
401
00:20:07,082 --> 00:20:08,917
Dunkin-My-Tits-Hynes.com.
402
00:20:09,042 --> 00:20:12,253
– Yeah, it really does exist.
– I told you, but not that. This.
403
00:20:14,422 --> 00:20:15,423
Awesome.
404
00:20:15,548 --> 00:20:17,258
But it'd be even more awesome
if this happened.
405
00:20:18,968 --> 00:20:20,261
Wait for it.
406
00:20:21,137 --> 00:20:22,180
Nice!
407
00:20:22,263 --> 00:20:24,390
I got in touch with a guy
who puts flash mobs together.
408
00:20:24,474 --> 00:20:26,810
We're thinking about using them
for guerrilla advertising.
409
00:20:27,143 --> 00:20:29,270
Taking something so pure
and commercializing it?
410
00:20:29,813 --> 00:20:31,064
Knew I found the right guy.
411
00:20:31,147 --> 00:20:33,274
– Here I am.
– Okay. Here's your contract.
412
00:20:33,400 --> 00:20:34,943
Sign it and I will be out of here.
413
00:20:35,902 --> 00:20:36,945
Okay.
414
00:20:38,738 --> 00:20:39,948
A whole year?
415
00:20:40,740 --> 00:20:43,910
Why do I get the feeling this is the first
real commitment you've ever made?
416
00:20:43,993 --> 00:20:46,413
It's not. T-Mobile, two years.
417
00:20:46,496 --> 00:20:47,664
And, fuck, do I regret that one.
418
00:20:47,831 --> 00:20:50,291
Do me a favour.
Don't quit or get fired before the year's up,
419
00:20:50,417 --> 00:20:51,835
because otherwise I don't get my bonus.
420
00:20:51,960 --> 00:20:53,336
Wait, I can leave whenever I want?
421
00:20:54,170 --> 00:20:56,131
– What's the point of this contract?
– Just sign the damn thing.
422
00:20:56,422 --> 00:20:57,465
Okay.
423
00:20:59,968 --> 00:21:02,137
Nice doing business with you, Dylan Harper.
424
00:21:03,680 --> 00:21:06,474
Hey, I was thinking of getting some lunch.
Do you know a place?
425
00:21:08,601 --> 00:21:09,811
Are you asking me out?
426
00:21:10,979 --> 00:21:12,438
Whoa, I'm not asking you out.
427
00:21:12,522 --> 00:21:13,690
I'm asking you to show me a restaurant.
428
00:21:13,815 --> 00:21:15,442
I mean, I'm the only friend you have
in New York.
429
00:21:15,525 --> 00:21:17,777
– You don't wanna complicate that.
– I know. I'm not asking you out.
430
00:21:17,861 --> 00:21:19,863
I mean, sure, we'd have fun, roll around,
431
00:21:19,988 --> 00:21:22,157
– get into some erotic humiliation fantasy.
– Erotic?
432
00:21:22,282 --> 00:21:25,618
But it'd all blow up in our faces, end badly,
and we'd never speak to each other again.
433
00:21:25,702 --> 00:21:27,328
I'm not fucking asking you out!
I swear to God!
434
00:21:27,454 --> 00:21:29,706
Okay. You don't like me like that.
435
00:21:29,998 --> 00:21:32,000
You don't have to be so mean about it.
436
00:21:33,168 --> 00:21:34,961
I'm sorry. I didn't…
437
00:21:36,171 --> 00:21:38,506
God, you're such a girl.
Come on, it's my treat.
438
00:21:40,175 --> 00:21:41,676
So was it an easy move?
439
00:21:41,843 --> 00:21:43,678
– It was tough leaving my dad.
– Yeah.
440
00:21:43,803 --> 00:21:45,138
My sister gave me some shit.
441
00:21:45,513 --> 00:21:47,390
But timing was right.
442
00:21:49,559 --> 00:21:51,269
Timing was really right.
443
00:21:51,352 --> 00:21:53,563
– Is that your sister?
– No. My ex.
444
00:21:53,688 --> 00:21:55,857
She's great. Loves John Mayer.
445
00:21:56,733 --> 00:21:58,193
Wants us to stay friends.
446
00:21:59,986 --> 00:22:03,406
She's also convinced she can cure me
of my emotional unavailability.
447
00:22:05,200 --> 00:22:07,035
– You're emotionally unavailable?
– Oh, yeah.
448
00:22:07,202 --> 00:22:10,705
Oh, my God. I'm emotionally damaged.
I haven't seen you at the meetings.
449
00:22:11,206 --> 00:22:13,166
I'm done with the relationship thing.
450
00:22:13,249 --> 00:22:15,460
Girl, you are preaching to the congregation.
451
00:22:15,543 --> 00:22:16,586
– Choir.
– What?
452
00:22:16,753 --> 00:22:19,380
"Preaching to the choir." You're supposed
to preach to the congregation.
453
00:22:19,506 --> 00:22:21,424
– That's the expression.
– Did you understand what I was saying?
454
00:22:21,549 --> 00:22:22,592
Then don't be a dick about it.
455
00:22:24,719 --> 00:22:26,429
Oh, my God. Do you mind?
456
00:22:27,055 --> 00:22:28,348
– Please.
– Great.
457
00:22:28,556 --> 00:22:31,100
Hello. You've reached
Dylan Harper's cell phone.
458
00:22:31,226 --> 00:22:32,977
He's emotionally unavailable,
but if you'd like…
459
00:22:33,061 --> 00:22:35,063
– John fucking Mayer!
– Hello?
460
00:22:37,524 --> 00:22:40,527
Wow. Hello?
You really do have shitty cell service.
461
00:22:40,610 --> 00:22:41,736
– Right?
– Yeah.
462
00:22:44,447 --> 00:22:45,615
I'm gonna have some friends over tomorrow.
463
00:22:46,115 --> 00:22:48,076
Why don't you come,
and you can meet some new people?
464
00:22:48,576 --> 00:22:50,703
I'm gonna have to check my schedule.
I'm really busy.
465
00:22:50,787 --> 00:22:53,289
I work at GQ now.
It's not some little blog on the Internet.
466
00:22:56,751 --> 00:22:57,794
– Hey.
– Hey.
467
00:22:57,961 --> 00:22:59,295
– You made it.
– Sorry I'm late.
468
00:22:59,420 --> 00:23:02,090
No, no. Please, come in, come in. Thank you.
469
00:23:02,549 --> 00:23:04,092
Hey, everybody! Hey!
470
00:23:04,425 --> 00:23:07,262
This here is Dylan. He's from LA.
471
00:23:08,763 --> 00:23:10,890
He's the reason I can afford all this beer.
472
00:23:13,726 --> 00:23:14,769
Okay, all right.
473
00:23:17,730 --> 00:23:19,440
Am I an animal?
474
00:23:20,942 --> 00:23:21,943
Yeah.
475
00:23:22,777 --> 00:23:24,070
Fuck, I'm pretty good at this.
476
00:23:49,804 --> 00:23:53,308
Lieutenant Kali's a West Coast street artist
I got into about five years ago.
477
00:23:53,766 --> 00:23:56,644
– His postmodern interpretation…
– This shit is amazing.
478
00:23:56,769 --> 00:23:57,812
I know, right?
479
00:24:01,941 --> 00:24:05,445
You will be able to find the perfect candidate
to fill the position at your company.
480
00:24:06,154 --> 00:24:07,155
Okay, here we go.
481
00:24:08,531 --> 00:24:11,492
First up is Joey Morena,
who's fluent in Vietnamese
482
00:24:11,617 --> 00:24:13,661
and has had 10 years of experience
in the culinary field.
483
00:24:21,669 --> 00:24:23,129
I can't do this anymore.
484
00:24:24,547 --> 00:24:27,175
No, I think we both need to go get happy.
485
00:24:27,842 --> 00:24:29,635
It's not adding up to a hundred anymore.
486
00:24:29,719 --> 00:24:30,803
Yeah.
487
00:24:30,887 --> 00:24:32,722
Looks like New York's all out of blueberries.
488
00:24:33,014 --> 00:24:34,223
Goodbye, Flapjack.
489
00:24:36,392 --> 00:24:38,019
Taxi! Taxicab!
490
00:24:38,311 --> 00:24:39,312
Flapjack.
491
00:24:39,395 --> 00:24:41,856
Why do all these movies
have such bad music?
492
00:24:42,231 --> 00:24:44,692
It's so that you know how to feel
every single second.
493
00:24:44,859 --> 00:24:45,902
"I'm heartbroken."
494
00:24:48,571 --> 00:24:50,573
"I'm getting married
to the man of my dreams."
495
00:24:53,659 --> 00:24:55,662
"I'm sneaking through an office."
496
00:24:58,915 --> 00:24:59,999
Madison, wait!
497
00:25:00,708 --> 00:25:02,418
Madison!
498
00:25:02,543 --> 00:25:04,420
Madison, wait!
499
00:25:05,546 --> 00:25:06,589
Bryce.
500
00:25:07,173 --> 00:25:09,384
How did you know
I was at Grand Central Station?
501
00:25:09,509 --> 00:25:12,345
You're not. You're in Los Angeles,
where this movie was shot.
502
00:25:12,428 --> 00:25:14,222
I know you better than you know yourself.
503
00:25:15,598 --> 00:25:18,184
And your crazy friend Susie
across the hall told me.
504
00:25:18,726 --> 00:25:19,936
Susie.
505
00:25:20,853 --> 00:25:22,188
Why are you here?
506
00:25:22,397 --> 00:25:23,606
To tell you that
507
00:25:24,732 --> 00:25:26,609
I love that sunsets make you cry,
508
00:25:27,235 --> 00:25:30,071
and I don't care that you failed
your real estate exam,
509
00:25:30,697 --> 00:25:32,615
and I'm glad that you have a five-date rule.
510
00:25:33,908 --> 00:25:35,785
And that I love you.
511
00:25:36,411 --> 00:25:37,954
Not as much as I love you.
512
00:25:40,415 --> 00:25:42,583
Now boarding, track 5, love.
513
00:25:43,084 --> 00:25:45,420
God, I wish my life was a movie sometimes.
514
00:25:45,753 --> 00:25:47,547
You know, I'd never have to worry
about my hair,
515
00:25:47,797 --> 00:25:49,382
or having to go to the bathroom.
516
00:25:49,882 --> 00:25:51,968
And then, when I'm at my lowest point,
517
00:25:52,260 --> 00:25:55,430
some guy would chase me down the street,
pour his heart out,
518
00:25:55,596 --> 00:25:56,639
and we'd kiss.
519
00:25:57,473 --> 00:25:58,808
Happily ever after.
520
00:26:00,560 --> 00:26:02,603
I mean, a horse and carriage?
521
00:26:02,770 --> 00:26:05,773
Come on, that is awesome.
522
00:26:05,898 --> 00:26:08,359
Not as awesome as this
ambiguously upbeat pop song
523
00:26:08,443 --> 00:26:10,069
that has nothing to do with the plot
524
00:26:10,153 --> 00:26:14,907
they put in at the end to try to convince you
that you had a great time at this shitty movie.
525
00:26:15,950 --> 00:26:18,953
You know, why don't they ever make a movie
about what happens after the big kiss?
526
00:26:19,078 --> 00:26:20,246
They do. It's called porn.
527
00:26:22,623 --> 00:26:24,250
God, I miss sex.
528
00:26:25,626 --> 00:26:27,628
Right? I mean, sometimes you just need it.
It's like…
529
00:26:28,921 --> 00:26:30,631
I don't know, it's like cracking your neck.
530
00:26:30,923 --> 00:26:32,800
Why does it always gotta
come with complications?
531
00:26:32,925 --> 00:26:34,802
– And emotions.
– And guilt.
532
00:26:35,303 --> 00:26:36,304
Guilt.
533
00:26:36,804 --> 00:26:38,681
– It's women's fault.
– What?
534
00:26:38,848 --> 00:26:42,518
You heard me. "Hold me.
Let's spend the rest of our lives together."
535
00:26:42,643 --> 00:26:44,020
Oh, please, you are no better.
536
00:26:44,353 --> 00:26:47,982
"Oh, yeah, baby, come on, now.
Say my name. Yeah…
537
00:26:48,816 --> 00:26:50,693
"I'm done. How was I?"
538
00:26:50,818 --> 00:26:51,819
Who have you been with?
539
00:26:53,279 --> 00:26:54,822
Why can't it not be like that?
540
00:26:54,989 --> 00:26:59,368
It's a physical act. Like playing tennis.
541
00:26:59,827 --> 00:27:02,038
Two people should be able to have sex
like they're playing tennis.
542
00:27:02,163 --> 00:27:03,956
Yeah, I mean, no one wants to
go away for the weekend
543
00:27:04,040 --> 00:27:05,333
after they play tennis.
544
00:27:05,958 --> 00:27:08,711
It's just a game.
You shake hands, get on with your shit.
545
00:27:09,003 --> 00:27:10,171
– Yeah.
– Yeah.
546
00:27:12,673 --> 00:27:13,883
Do you want more beer?
547
00:27:14,842 --> 00:27:16,010
Okay.
548
00:27:23,726 --> 00:27:24,811
– Jamie!
– Yeah?
549
00:27:25,394 --> 00:27:27,104
– Let's play tennis.
– What?
550
00:27:27,188 --> 00:27:28,564
Let's have sex like we're playing tennis.
551
00:27:28,689 --> 00:27:29,899
Get the hell out of here.
552
00:27:30,566 --> 00:27:32,693
Don't laugh. This could be great.
553
00:27:32,860 --> 00:27:34,403
This could take all the weirdness out of it.
554
00:27:34,529 --> 00:27:36,948
Well, we talked about this.
I don't like you like that.
555
00:27:37,031 --> 00:27:39,575
I don't like you like that either.
That's why it's perfect.
556
00:27:40,701 --> 00:27:42,495
I don't even know if I find you attractive.
557
00:27:42,578 --> 00:27:43,704
That's cute.
558
00:27:43,829 --> 00:27:45,414
Well, I do have a thing for jerks.
559
00:27:46,541 --> 00:27:48,167
Okay, well, do you even find me attractive?
560
00:27:48,251 --> 00:27:49,669
– That's cute.
– No, no, no.
561
00:27:49,752 --> 00:27:52,213
Before you got to know
my awesome personality.
562
00:27:52,380 --> 00:27:53,381
Strictly physical.
563
00:27:54,257 --> 00:27:55,675
First time you saw me.
564
00:27:57,051 --> 00:27:59,220
– This is just two people talking?
– Yeah.
565
00:27:59,720 --> 00:28:02,723
Two girls over drinks at Bennigan's. Go.
566
00:28:04,392 --> 00:28:07,395
I liked your eyes. I didn't think
I'd ever seen such big, beautiful eyes.
567
00:28:10,356 --> 00:28:13,526
Your lips. Yeah.
I thought you might be a good kisser.
568
00:28:13,859 --> 00:28:15,027
I am.
569
00:28:15,528 --> 00:28:16,904
– Your breasts.
– What about them?
570
00:28:17,029 --> 00:28:18,322
– They intrigued me.
– Really?
571
00:28:18,406 --> 00:28:20,700
– Yeah.
– I think they're so tiny.
572
00:28:21,200 --> 00:28:22,743
– They're still breasts.
– Thanks.
573
00:28:23,953 --> 00:28:25,454
– I liked your hands.
– Mouth.
574
00:28:25,788 --> 00:28:26,831
– Butt.
– Voice.
575
00:28:26,914 --> 00:28:27,957
– Chest.
– Eyes.
576
00:28:28,082 --> 00:28:29,625
– You said that.
– I meant it.
577
00:28:32,962 --> 00:28:35,756
You swear you don't want anything more
from me other than sex?
578
00:28:35,882 --> 00:28:37,592
You swear you don't want anything
more from me?
579
00:28:38,217 --> 00:28:41,262
I know how you girls get.
Tick-tock, tick-tock.
580
00:28:41,387 --> 00:28:42,430
Stop it.
581
00:28:43,472 --> 00:28:47,435
– What are you doing?
– I'm pulling up my Bible app.
582
00:28:47,727 --> 00:28:50,396
– You have a Bible app?
– Yes. I am a good girl.
583
00:28:50,605 --> 00:28:51,772
– Hand on the iPad.
– Okay.
584
00:28:51,981 --> 00:28:53,274
Wait, no.
585
00:28:53,566 --> 00:28:54,609
Why can't they figure this out?
586
00:28:54,984 --> 00:28:58,112
No… This thing thinks I'm you and you're me.
587
00:28:58,237 --> 00:28:59,697
Keep your hand still. I'll move the iPad.
588
00:28:59,780 --> 00:29:01,115
– It's actually making me dizzy.
– Hold on.
589
00:29:02,450 --> 00:29:03,659
There we go.
590
00:29:07,830 --> 00:29:09,457
No relationship.
591
00:29:09,832 --> 00:29:11,000
No emotions.
592
00:29:11,751 --> 00:29:12,752
Just sex.
593
00:29:12,835 --> 00:29:15,463
Whatever happens, we stay friends.
594
00:29:15,755 --> 00:29:16,756
– Swear.
– Swear.
595
00:29:16,839 --> 00:29:17,924
– Swear.
– Swear.
596
00:29:22,136 --> 00:29:23,304
Okay.
597
00:29:27,850 --> 00:29:30,311
So I guess we should just start.
598
00:29:31,646 --> 00:29:32,813
Okay.
599
00:29:33,981 --> 00:29:34,982
I'll serve.
600
00:29:35,107 --> 00:29:37,401
That's really… That's enough of the tennis.
601
00:29:37,485 --> 00:29:38,569
Let's go to the bedroom.
602
00:29:38,653 --> 00:29:40,655
What's wrong with the couch?
It's less emotional.
603
00:29:40,780 --> 00:29:42,114
The bedroom has better light.
604
00:29:42,365 --> 00:29:44,909
And since we're just friends,
I don't have to be insecure about my body.
605
00:29:44,992 --> 00:29:46,994
Come on, okay? You're beautiful.
606
00:29:47,119 --> 00:29:49,163
You have nothing to be insecure about.
607
00:29:50,706 --> 00:29:53,209
No, you see,
that is way too emotionally supportive
608
00:29:53,334 --> 00:29:55,294
and you need to just lock that down.
609
00:29:57,546 --> 00:29:59,632
– Your ass is a little bony.
– Much better.
610
00:29:59,840 --> 00:30:02,677
My nipples are sensitive,
I don't like dirty talk,
611
00:30:02,802 --> 00:30:05,805
and had I known this was gonna happen,
I would have shaved my legs this morning.
612
00:30:05,888 --> 00:30:08,432
My chin is ticklish,
I sneeze sometimes after I come,
613
00:30:08,516 --> 00:30:09,975
and if I'd have known
this was gonna happen,
614
00:30:10,059 --> 00:30:11,268
I wouldn't have shaved my legs this morning.
615
00:30:11,352 --> 00:30:12,520
Okie-dokie.
616
00:30:14,730 --> 00:30:17,149
I keep my socks on. Intimacy issues.
617
00:30:17,233 --> 00:30:19,151
Great, 'cause feet gross me out.
Daddy issues.
618
00:30:19,235 --> 00:30:20,569
Great.
619
00:30:24,699 --> 00:30:25,991
I can work with that.
620
00:30:28,869 --> 00:30:29,912
Should be fine.
621
00:30:32,873 --> 00:30:34,250
I can't believe I'm doing this.
622
00:30:34,583 --> 00:30:36,293
Should we stop? We could just go for a run.
623
00:30:36,377 --> 00:30:37,920
I don't know, are we getting too old for this?
624
00:30:38,879 --> 00:30:40,589
– Sex?
– No, casual sex.
625
00:30:40,715 --> 00:30:43,426
It just, I don't know, feels a little collegey.
626
00:30:43,718 --> 00:30:45,553
– I could sing some Third Eye Blind.
– Okay.
627
00:30:49,098 --> 00:30:51,475
– That's not Third Eye Blind.
– I'm pretty sure that's Third Eye Blind.
628
00:30:51,559 --> 00:30:52,601
Nope.
629
00:30:56,856 --> 00:30:58,566
– What's wrong?
– We're just doing this once.
630
00:30:58,691 --> 00:30:59,859
– I totally agree.
– Okay.
631
00:30:59,942 --> 00:31:01,152
– Great.
– Great.
632
00:31:01,235 --> 00:31:02,445
Little faster.
633
00:31:02,570 --> 00:31:04,572
– More circular.
– Watch my chin.
634
00:31:04,864 --> 00:31:06,073
– Touch my ears.
– Okay.
635
00:31:07,616 --> 00:31:08,951
Kiss my neck.
636
00:31:10,036 --> 00:31:11,620
– Say my name.
– Dylan Francis Harper Jr.
637
00:31:11,746 --> 00:31:12,747
Not my full name.
638
00:31:12,872 --> 00:31:14,081
Sorry, I had to fill out
a lot of your paperwork.
639
00:31:14,206 --> 00:31:15,249
– Stop talking.
– Okay.
640
00:31:15,374 --> 00:31:17,251
Oh, my God, you're really…
641
00:31:19,086 --> 00:31:24,592
A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O, P…
642
00:31:24,717 --> 00:31:27,053
– Dylan, I…
– Relax.
643
00:31:27,136 --> 00:31:29,305
Just a friend going down on another friend.
644
00:31:29,430 --> 00:31:31,140
Oh, yeah, baby. Tornado.
645
00:31:35,394 --> 00:31:36,437
What, what?
646
00:31:36,604 --> 00:31:38,689
What are you trying to do?
Dig your way to China?
647
00:31:38,773 --> 00:31:40,149
– I'm good at this.
– Says who?
648
00:31:40,274 --> 00:31:41,609
Every girl I've been with.
649
00:31:41,734 --> 00:31:44,111
Well, they're either lying
or their vaginas are made out of burlap.
650
00:31:44,278 --> 00:31:46,113
So, relax. You're not a lizard.
651
00:31:46,447 --> 00:31:47,948
– Okay, fine.
– Okay, fine.
652
00:31:50,743 --> 00:31:52,244
– A little to the right.
– Okay.
653
00:31:52,453 --> 00:31:54,079
– A little bit more to the left.
– Roger that.
654
00:31:54,163 --> 00:31:55,623
– Now go down.
– Here we go.
655
00:31:55,915 --> 00:31:58,250
– A little more… Whoa, too far!
– Sorry.
656
00:32:04,006 --> 00:32:05,257
– What's wrong?
– Nothing!
657
00:32:05,341 --> 00:32:06,842
When women start to scream,
it could be misconstrued.
658
00:32:06,967 --> 00:32:08,427
Just keep going!
659
00:32:17,978 --> 00:32:19,021
Yeah, you know it.
660
00:32:23,776 --> 00:32:25,820
Well, let me tell you how I like it.
661
00:32:26,779 --> 00:32:28,739
See, most girls think
you should start off soft,
662
00:32:28,823 --> 00:32:32,284
but if you just get in, really go for it…
663
00:32:45,130 --> 00:32:46,507
Yeah, you know it.
664
00:33:05,860 --> 00:33:08,946
– Let's go with Obama.
– No, no, no, no!
665
00:33:09,029 --> 00:33:11,866
It's too easy, too predictable. Go with Shaun.
666
00:33:11,991 --> 00:33:16,871
He's stylish, transcendent of sport,
has an ass like a kumquat.
667
00:33:17,246 --> 00:33:19,874
– I hear he's kind of a jerk.
– No, he's not.
668
00:33:20,040 --> 00:33:21,083
You're just threatened by him
669
00:33:21,208 --> 00:33:23,627
because he's the greatest snow sport athlete
in the universe
670
00:33:23,711 --> 00:33:25,671
and he gets more squirrel than an oak tree.
671
00:33:25,754 --> 00:33:27,923
Hey, Dylan?
Jamie Rellis is in the lobby for you.
672
00:33:28,048 --> 00:33:29,091
Okay, thanks.
673
00:33:29,717 --> 00:33:31,510
Let's hit this after lunch. Okay, guys?
674
00:33:32,052 --> 00:33:34,179
Nobody wants to fuck Obama, brah.
675
00:33:34,263 --> 00:33:35,598
He's got ears like an elephant.
676
00:33:35,723 --> 00:33:37,892
That's not the part of an elephant you want.
677
00:33:41,937 --> 00:33:43,063
– Hi!
– Hi.
678
00:33:46,525 --> 00:33:48,277
Sorry to just show up like this.
679
00:33:48,444 --> 00:33:49,570
No, no, no, it's fine.
680
00:33:50,362 --> 00:33:51,405
So…
681
00:33:54,200 --> 00:33:55,242
– Wanna take a walk?
– Love to.
682
00:33:55,409 --> 00:33:57,620
Great. Okay.
683
00:34:03,417 --> 00:34:04,710
Okay, so about what happened, I…
684
00:34:04,793 --> 00:34:07,671
– It was crazy and we shouldn't have done it.
– Exactly. No, no, exactly.
685
00:34:07,755 --> 00:34:09,006
I mean, it is so not me.
686
00:34:09,089 --> 00:34:11,091
I totally agree. Let's forget it happened.
687
00:34:11,383 --> 00:34:14,762
Great. I mean, look,
I've had one-night stands.
688
00:34:14,887 --> 00:34:18,098
We both have had one-night stands,
none of which we're proud of, but…
689
00:34:19,099 --> 00:34:20,100
Really?
690
00:34:20,976 --> 00:34:23,145
Look, to think that you and I
could just have sex
691
00:34:23,270 --> 00:34:25,439
and without it compromising anything
was just so…
692
00:34:25,606 --> 00:34:27,900
– Misguided.
– Exactly.
693
00:34:28,150 --> 00:34:29,485
I was gonna call you this morning.
694
00:34:29,735 --> 00:34:30,778
But you didn't.
695
00:34:30,945 --> 00:34:31,946
But I didn't.
696
00:34:32,112 --> 00:34:34,281
And you see, it's already
coming between us and I really…
697
00:34:34,406 --> 00:34:35,699
I just don't want it to.
698
00:34:35,783 --> 00:34:36,825
It's not going to.
699
00:34:36,951 --> 00:34:39,828
Look, I know that I act all tough
and I talk all tough, but really…
700
00:34:39,954 --> 00:34:42,748
It's just a front to protect yourself
from your own vulnerability.
701
00:34:43,666 --> 00:34:45,292
What are you, my fucking therapist now?
702
00:34:45,501 --> 00:34:50,089
No, I'm a friend. Who knows that
every time you curse, you blink.
703
00:34:50,297 --> 00:34:53,634
– Like your body's rejecting the word.
– It does not.
704
00:34:53,801 --> 00:34:54,802
– Fuck you.
– Blinked.
705
00:34:54,927 --> 00:34:56,637
– No, I didn't fucking blink.
– Blinked again.
706
00:34:56,804 --> 00:34:58,430
– Shit.
– Ah, didn't blink.
707
00:34:59,014 --> 00:35:00,099
"Shit" you're okay with.
708
00:35:01,016 --> 00:35:02,184
– It was stupid.
– Yes.
709
00:35:02,309 --> 00:35:05,187
– We're friends, let's stay friends.
– Yes. Yes, this, I don't wanna lose this.
710
00:35:05,312 --> 00:35:06,438
Me neither.
711
00:35:06,647 --> 00:35:07,648
– Great.
– Fantastic.
712
00:35:07,815 --> 00:35:09,608
Portrait for the lovely couple?
713
00:35:18,158 --> 00:35:19,785
– What the hell are we doing?
– I don't know.
714
00:35:22,162 --> 00:35:24,331
– Rub my hair.
– Kiss my neck.
715
00:35:27,459 --> 00:35:28,502
– Watch my nipple.
– All right, all right.
716
00:35:30,337 --> 00:35:32,006
– I didn't know you had a tattoo.
– Yeah.
717
00:35:32,339 --> 00:35:33,465
Why didn't I notice that before?
718
00:35:33,674 --> 00:35:35,050
Because we were drunk.
719
00:35:35,300 --> 00:35:37,136
– Was it your dog?
– No. Never had one.
720
00:35:37,303 --> 00:35:38,387
But everyone else did.
721
00:35:38,512 --> 00:35:40,180
And I thought having a dog
meant you had a normal family,
722
00:35:40,305 --> 00:35:41,974
which at 17 I desperately wanted.
723
00:35:42,057 --> 00:35:43,976
So as a sign of rebellion you got a tattoo
724
00:35:44,184 --> 00:35:45,644
of the most conventional thing
you could think of.
725
00:35:45,728 --> 00:35:47,354
It was super awesome back then.
726
00:35:47,563 --> 00:35:48,647
– Check it.
– Okay.
727
00:35:48,856 --> 00:35:50,107
– A lightning bolt?
– Eighteen.
728
00:35:50,190 --> 00:35:51,400
– Wanted superpowers.
– Yeah.
729
00:35:52,359 --> 00:35:54,236
I was a little into Harry Potter back then.
730
00:35:54,361 --> 00:35:56,947
– Were you also gay back then?
– Harry Potter doesn't make you gay!
731
00:35:57,031 --> 00:35:58,824
– Okay.
– Are you sure about this?
732
00:35:58,907 --> 00:35:59,950
– Are you?
– No.
733
00:36:00,034 --> 00:36:01,201
Me neither.
734
00:36:05,664 --> 00:36:07,875
– How was your day?
– It was okay.
735
00:36:08,500 --> 00:36:10,210
– I had a turkey sandwich for lunch.
– How was that?
736
00:36:10,336 --> 00:36:12,046
It wasn't that good. How was your day?
737
00:36:12,171 --> 00:36:14,548
Still trying to figure out that subway system.
It is tricky.
738
00:36:17,384 --> 00:36:18,886
And it's out of here!
739
00:36:25,225 --> 00:36:26,894
– My butt.
– What?
740
00:36:27,019 --> 00:36:28,562
– Oh, my butt.
– Really?
741
00:36:28,729 --> 00:36:31,815
No, I mean my butt, it's cramping.
Can you grab a pillow?
742
00:36:31,899 --> 00:36:33,108
Okay, yeah, yeah.
743
00:36:34,568 --> 00:36:36,236
– So, no butt?
– No.
744
00:36:39,740 --> 00:36:42,201
– Really? Already?
– Just kidding.
745
00:36:47,122 --> 00:36:49,416
– Do you like this position?
– Yeah, it's all right.
746
00:36:52,044 --> 00:36:54,254
I gotta be honest, I feel a little emasculated.
747
00:36:55,089 --> 00:36:59,134
A naked girl is lying on top of you
and you feel emasculated?
748
00:37:00,469 --> 00:37:02,679
– Little bit.
– You do know what that word means, right?
749
00:37:02,763 --> 00:37:04,807
Yes, I know what it means, and I feel it.
750
00:37:04,932 --> 00:37:07,101
Okay, all right, you big baby.
751
00:37:07,643 --> 00:37:09,395
– Chinese fire drill.
– Okay. Go!
752
00:37:11,605 --> 00:37:12,773
Okay.
753
00:37:15,609 --> 00:37:17,069
– Do you feel manly now?
– I do.
754
00:37:17,277 --> 00:37:18,487
Okay. Put it in.
755
00:37:19,947 --> 00:37:20,948
That's not funny.
756
00:37:21,281 --> 00:37:22,783
– It's kind of funny.
– It's kind of funny.
757
00:37:27,287 --> 00:37:28,455
– Hold on.
– What's wrong?
758
00:37:28,580 --> 00:37:29,581
I have to go to the bathroom.
759
00:37:29,665 --> 00:37:32,000
– What? Now?
– Yes, now. I had a lot of watermelon.
760
00:37:43,303 --> 00:37:44,346
What's going on in there?
761
00:37:44,471 --> 00:37:46,098
Do you know how hard it is
to pee with a hard-on?
762
00:37:46,181 --> 00:37:47,224
No, actually.
763
00:37:47,307 --> 00:37:49,601
It's like two lanes of traffic merging into one.
It takes time.
764
00:37:56,275 --> 00:37:57,776
– Are you pooping?
– No.
765
00:37:57,860 --> 00:37:59,987
– Why are you sitting down?
– It's easier to control.
766
00:38:00,195 --> 00:38:02,990
– You want a mess in here?
– No. No, no. Sorry.
767
00:38:17,004 --> 00:38:18,172
Yeah.
768
00:38:18,964 --> 00:38:20,007
Yup.
769
00:38:23,135 --> 00:38:24,219
What? Did I leak?
770
00:38:24,344 --> 00:38:25,345
Did you wash your hands?
771
00:38:25,846 --> 00:38:26,889
Oh, come on, dude.
772
00:38:27,014 --> 00:38:28,640
I know we're just friends, but I'm still a lady.
773
00:38:29,016 --> 00:38:32,352
Now get back in there, wash your hands
and then bring that fine ass back here.
774
00:38:32,477 --> 00:38:35,022
If you keep talking to me like that,
I'm not gonna come back.
775
00:38:40,694 --> 00:38:43,572
– My hammies are killing me.
– Have a banana, they're in the fridge.
776
00:38:43,822 --> 00:38:45,073
Why would you keep bananas in the fridge?
777
00:38:45,365 --> 00:38:47,534
– It dries them out.
– It doesn't. They have a peel.
778
00:38:47,659 --> 00:38:49,161
It's not armour. Air still gets in.
779
00:38:49,244 --> 00:38:50,495
Do you want a banana or not?
780
00:38:50,704 --> 00:38:52,080
Not if they're dry. I'm not an animal.
781
00:38:54,333 --> 00:38:55,876
At least I have food in the house.
782
00:38:56,168 --> 00:38:57,836
All you have at home is drinkable yogurt.
783
00:38:58,170 --> 00:39:00,172
I like to drink my yogurt. It's a timesaver.
784
00:39:00,255 --> 00:39:02,716
Well, then you think you could use that time
to shave your stubble.
785
00:39:02,841 --> 00:39:04,301
Your whiskers are like knives.
786
00:39:04,384 --> 00:39:08,055
Now, see, if you were my girlfriend,
I couldn't tell you to shut up right now.
787
00:39:08,222 --> 00:39:10,557
And because you're just my buddy,
I can tell you
788
00:39:10,682 --> 00:39:15,395
that if you don't start shaving up here,
I'm gonna stop shaving down there.
789
00:39:20,275 --> 00:39:21,485
Hey, hey. Hey…
790
00:39:21,568 --> 00:39:23,111
– Mom!
– "Mom"?
791
00:39:24,571 --> 00:39:27,115
My eyes are covered.
I don't know what you're doing.
792
00:39:27,241 --> 00:39:29,910
I can't see you putting on
your black underpants.
793
00:39:30,035 --> 00:39:31,995
Jamie, baby, I missed you.
794
00:39:32,079 --> 00:39:33,413
Oh, baby.
795
00:39:33,705 --> 00:39:35,916
Did your boobs get bigger?
Mom, I'm over here.
796
00:39:36,458 --> 00:39:39,044
Hey, baby. Oh, no, they didn't.
797
00:39:39,253 --> 00:39:42,965
– What are you doing here?
– Victor turned out to be a total Lombard.
798
00:39:43,257 --> 00:39:46,593
L-O-M-B-A-R-D.
"Lots Of Money But A Real Dullard."
799
00:39:46,718 --> 00:39:47,970
Victor, her fiancé.
800
00:39:48,095 --> 00:39:49,471
Ex-fiancé.
801
00:39:49,596 --> 00:39:51,640
– What happened?
– Nothing. He was just blah.
802
00:39:51,765 --> 00:39:53,600
I mean, nice, but it was like talking to dirt.
803
00:39:53,725 --> 00:39:56,436
I woke up one day and I said, "Lorna…"
I'm Lorna.
804
00:39:57,437 --> 00:40:00,274
– Dylan.
– I said, "Lorna, this is not your bliss.
805
00:40:00,649 --> 00:40:02,359
– "Just because you're 39…"
– Forty-eight.
806
00:40:02,442 --> 00:40:05,070
"…it doesn't mean you have to settle.
He's not an insurance claim."
807
00:40:05,153 --> 00:40:07,030
So I caught the first plane off the island.
808
00:40:07,114 --> 00:40:09,783
– Cleveland's not an island.
– Oh, baby, it is.
809
00:40:10,117 --> 00:40:12,744
Anyway, here I am. It's so good to see you.
810
00:40:12,828 --> 00:40:15,247
You never told me you had a hot boyfriend.
811
00:40:15,455 --> 00:40:17,207
He's not my boyfriend, Mom.
812
00:40:17,291 --> 00:40:19,167
– That's right, we're just friends.
– I love it.
813
00:40:19,293 --> 00:40:21,670
It's like the '70s in here.
814
00:40:22,462 --> 00:40:24,631
That was a better time. Just sex.
815
00:40:24,756 --> 00:40:27,801
A little grass, a little glue…
Not during pregnancy.
816
00:40:27,926 --> 00:40:29,595
Well, not during the final trimester.
817
00:40:29,678 --> 00:40:32,180
But no complications. It's great!
818
00:40:33,432 --> 00:40:35,851
Okay, well, that's technically, I guess,
what this is.
819
00:40:36,018 --> 00:40:37,311
That's exactly what this is.
820
00:40:37,436 --> 00:40:39,271
So my daughter is just your slampiece?
821
00:40:39,479 --> 00:40:41,315
No, no. "Slampiece"?
822
00:40:41,440 --> 00:40:43,650
I'm just kidding. Slam away.
823
00:40:43,817 --> 00:40:45,110
Have fun. I think this is great.
824
00:40:45,193 --> 00:40:46,820
The only thing is, it takes you off the market.
825
00:40:46,987 --> 00:40:48,947
But what the hell.
The whole reason you go to the market
826
00:40:49,031 --> 00:40:51,783
is to buy the produce, which you already got.
827
00:40:52,993 --> 00:40:56,997
It's so good to see you, baby.
I'm only gonna be here a few weeks.
828
00:40:57,122 --> 00:40:58,999
I'm starving. You got any gin?
829
00:40:59,333 --> 00:41:00,959
It's in the kitchen.
830
00:41:02,461 --> 00:41:03,503
You gotta go.
831
00:41:03,962 --> 00:41:06,298
– Is she wearing Axe body spray?
– I don't know. Come on.
832
00:41:06,381 --> 00:41:08,675
Bananas in the refrigerator?
What are you, Puerto Rican?
833
00:41:09,009 --> 00:41:12,554
– That is terrible, Mother.
– Just joking. Your dad was Puerto Rican.
834
00:41:12,679 --> 00:41:14,181
What? You said that he was Greek.
835
00:41:14,348 --> 00:41:15,807
– Potato, potato…
– Get your shoes.
836
00:41:15,891 --> 00:41:18,435
– Okay. All right.
– Well, not… Just go, just go.
837
00:41:18,518 --> 00:41:20,062
I'll just put these on on the bike?
838
00:41:20,187 --> 00:41:21,229
– Yeah.
– Okay.
839
00:41:21,855 --> 00:41:22,898
It was nice to have met you…
840
00:41:23,023 --> 00:41:24,608
– Hey.
– And your pants are coming off.
841
00:41:24,691 --> 00:41:26,735
Oh, my… Mom! Mom, please!
842
00:41:29,029 --> 00:41:30,030
Back, back!
843
00:41:33,825 --> 00:41:35,911
That's what I'm talking about!
844
00:41:36,703 --> 00:41:39,206
We're kicking every gay ass out here!
845
00:41:39,414 --> 00:41:41,750
I don't say that pejoratively,
I say it hopefully.
846
00:41:41,875 --> 00:41:43,377
Hold it. Any of you gay?
847
00:41:43,543 --> 00:41:45,045
– Not even you?
– Come on, man.
848
00:41:45,170 --> 00:41:47,255
Come talk to me after.
Give me five minutes of your time.
849
00:41:47,381 --> 00:41:49,091
I might be able to let you see some reason.
850
00:41:55,263 --> 00:41:57,015
Look at you in the house!
851
00:41:57,099 --> 00:41:58,225
Come on, baby!
852
00:41:59,726 --> 00:42:00,852
I'm supposed to meet up with Jamie.
853
00:42:01,937 --> 00:42:03,605
Who's that, that headhunter?
854
00:42:03,855 --> 00:42:05,190
What, you guys going out now?
855
00:42:05,273 --> 00:42:07,901
No, no, no, we're just friends.
We're messing around a little bit.
856
00:42:08,276 --> 00:42:09,986
– What do you mean?
– Sleeping together.
857
00:42:10,070 --> 00:42:11,363
But it's just sex.
858
00:42:11,446 --> 00:42:13,073
That never works, bro.
859
00:42:13,198 --> 00:42:16,910
She's a girl. Sex always means more
to them even if they don't admit it.
860
00:42:17,077 --> 00:42:18,161
Jamie's different.
861
00:42:18,245 --> 00:42:20,831
Does she have a penis
where most girls have a vagina?
862
00:42:20,914 --> 00:42:22,582
– No penis.
– Then she's no different.
863
00:42:22,916 --> 00:42:24,292
What do you know about women, anyway?
864
00:42:24,418 --> 00:42:27,087
Dude, I've turned down more tail
than you'll ever have.
865
00:42:27,212 --> 00:42:28,296
Yeah, bro. You're gay.
866
00:42:28,630 --> 00:42:32,259
But the offers still keep rolling in, naturally.
Look at me.
867
00:42:32,634 --> 00:42:38,640
And, hey, I love women. They're beautiful,
majestic, mysterious, mesmerizing creatures.
868
00:42:38,890 --> 00:42:42,727
Smart, empathetic.
Far superior to men in every way.
869
00:42:43,103 --> 00:42:46,565
And if I had a choice,
I would be with women to my dying day.
870
00:42:46,648 --> 00:42:49,818
But me likes cock so I'm strict-aly dick-aly.
871
00:42:50,902 --> 00:42:53,238
So it's always just about sex, then?
872
00:42:53,321 --> 00:42:56,658
No. I've been in love.
I went down that rabbit hole.
873
00:42:56,992 --> 00:42:58,285
You know what I discovered?
874
00:42:58,952 --> 00:43:01,037
It's not who you want to spend
Friday night with,
875
00:43:01,121 --> 00:43:03,582
it's who you want to spend
all day Saturday with.
876
00:43:03,665 --> 00:43:04,750
Feel me, Felix?
877
00:43:04,833 --> 00:43:08,170
Yeah, but then it's every Saturday
for the rest of your life.
878
00:43:08,753 --> 00:43:10,088
It's okay, you don't get it.
879
00:43:10,338 --> 00:43:12,507
It's no big deal. But you will.
880
00:43:13,175 --> 00:43:17,095
One day, you'll meet someone
and it'll literally take your breath away.
881
00:43:17,262 --> 00:43:21,349
Like you can't breathe.
Like no oxygen to the lungs.
882
00:43:21,516 --> 00:43:23,852
– Like a fish…
– Yeah, I get it, Tommy.
883
00:43:24,352 --> 00:43:25,437
Yeah, you don't.
884
00:43:25,979 --> 00:43:28,356
Nice work on that new online site,
by the way.
885
00:43:28,815 --> 00:43:30,317
What was the font on that headline?
886
00:43:30,609 --> 00:43:31,693
It was Times Roman.
887
00:43:31,818 --> 00:43:34,112
Times Roman. Inspired. I'm out.
888
00:43:40,660 --> 00:43:41,703
You have a boat?
889
00:43:41,870 --> 00:43:45,165
I live in Jersey. And I ain't taking no ferry.
890
00:43:45,832 --> 00:43:47,709
Unless it's out to dinner and a show.
891
00:44:04,017 --> 00:44:05,018
– Hey.
– Yeah.
892
00:44:05,143 --> 00:44:10,440
You and that Dylan? Way to go.
I mean the whole friendship-sex thing.
893
00:44:10,524 --> 00:44:12,192
Kudos, baby, kudos.
894
00:44:13,693 --> 00:44:15,028
It's not that big of a deal.
895
00:44:15,237 --> 00:44:19,157
It's just surprising. I always thought
you were a true-love kind of girl.
896
00:44:19,491 --> 00:44:22,536
Whatever, Mom.
It's not like it's stopping me from anything.
897
00:44:22,702 --> 00:44:24,538
That's what I thought back in '78.
898
00:44:25,205 --> 00:44:26,665
And every year since.
899
00:44:26,915 --> 00:44:29,251
I'm just… I'm flattered, actually.
900
00:44:29,376 --> 00:44:31,336
The apple doesn't fall far from the tree.
901
00:44:32,212 --> 00:44:34,005
It's just surprising.
902
00:44:35,507 --> 00:44:38,218
– There, done. It's… There we go.
– Okay.
903
00:44:39,844 --> 00:44:42,848
You look great! You look great.
You look like a princess.
904
00:44:43,557 --> 00:44:44,724
– Yeah!
– Really?
905
00:44:44,891 --> 00:44:46,226
– Yeah.
– Okay.
906
00:44:46,351 --> 00:44:50,188
Hey, my friend gave me his house
in Montauk for July 4th.
907
00:44:50,272 --> 00:44:53,191
Let's you and me go away together.
No men, no bullshit.
908
00:44:53,275 --> 00:44:56,069
Just mother-daughter.
Like a Nora Ephron movie.
909
00:44:56,862 --> 00:44:59,406
When was the last time
we spent a full weekend together?
910
00:44:59,573 --> 00:45:02,576
When I was eight, that time in Vermont.
We got snowed in with the ski instructor.
911
00:45:02,701 --> 00:45:03,785
– Demitri.
– Bill.
912
00:45:03,910 --> 00:45:05,245
He reminded me a lot of your father.
913
00:45:05,704 --> 00:45:08,915
Dark curls, olive skin, Cold War accent.
914
00:45:09,040 --> 00:45:10,875
– My father was Russian?
– I don't remember.
915
00:45:11,042 --> 00:45:14,087
But what I do remember is we drank
a lot of vodka and shot a lot of guns.
916
00:45:14,379 --> 00:45:17,757
Mom, this "who's your daddy" game
is getting really old.
917
00:45:17,883 --> 00:45:20,594
I know I haven't been
the best mother in the world…
918
00:45:23,597 --> 00:45:25,056
I'm sorry,
were you waiting for me to jump in?
919
00:45:25,265 --> 00:45:28,393
Come on! Go away with me. Come on!
920
00:45:29,227 --> 00:45:31,062
Come on. Come on.
921
00:45:31,479 --> 00:45:34,316
Okay, we'll do it. It'll be fun, yeah?
922
00:45:40,947 --> 00:45:42,949
– Mom…
– I was trying to bond!
923
00:45:43,074 --> 00:45:45,452
It was either this or sniff glue.
924
00:45:50,999 --> 00:45:53,251
– Sorry about my mom.
– I thought she was funny.
925
00:45:53,335 --> 00:45:56,129
Yeah, she's really funny
when she's asking for money,
926
00:45:56,254 --> 00:45:58,798
and she's hilarious
when she needs a place to stay.
927
00:46:04,137 --> 00:46:07,265
Dylan, I think I wanna start dating again.
928
00:46:08,141 --> 00:46:11,144
Listen, I think we should stop this.
929
00:46:14,105 --> 00:46:15,440
Yeah?
930
00:46:16,149 --> 00:46:17,192
I kind of think you're right.
931
00:46:17,317 --> 00:46:18,318
Right?
932
00:46:18,526 --> 00:46:24,032
Every new beginning
comes from some other beginning's end
933
00:46:24,449 --> 00:46:25,909
That actually makes sense right here.
934
00:46:25,992 --> 00:46:27,953
Who would've thought Third Eye Blind
could be so prophetic?
935
00:46:28,036 --> 00:46:29,162
Not Third Eye Blind.
936
00:46:29,287 --> 00:46:30,997
I'm pretty sure that's Third Eye Blind.
937
00:46:31,164 --> 00:46:32,290
Do you wanna go grab some lunch?
938
00:46:32,374 --> 00:46:33,500
– Yes.
– Okay.
939
00:46:33,708 --> 00:46:35,293
– You're buying.
– What?
940
00:46:37,545 --> 00:46:38,630
Okay.
941
00:46:41,007 --> 00:46:42,008
– Pants.
– Shirt.
942
00:46:42,801 --> 00:46:43,843
So this is the end of this?
943
00:46:44,010 --> 00:46:45,887
– I guess so. But it's good.
– Yeah.
944
00:46:46,012 --> 00:46:47,389
– And we did it.
– With no bullshit.
945
00:46:47,514 --> 00:46:48,556
– Shirt.
– Sweater.
946
00:46:49,474 --> 00:46:51,309
We managed to actually stay friends.
947
00:46:51,685 --> 00:46:52,811
– Yup.
– Yeah.
948
00:46:57,232 --> 00:46:59,025
Okay. So, what is your type, anyway?
949
00:46:59,192 --> 00:47:01,194
No, I don't have a type.
950
00:47:01,361 --> 00:47:03,571
– It's more about what's inside.
– Oh, please!
951
00:47:03,697 --> 00:47:05,407
Okay, what about her?
952
00:47:05,990 --> 00:47:08,034
Yeah. I could get to know her inside.
953
00:47:08,159 --> 00:47:09,202
And she's reading a book.
954
00:47:10,036 --> 00:47:11,329
It's probably Nicholas Sparks.
955
00:47:11,871 --> 00:47:13,665
– I'm gonna go talk to her.
– What?
956
00:47:14,040 --> 00:47:15,917
What do you mean, "What?"
We said we wanted to date again.
957
00:47:16,042 --> 00:47:17,711
– I'm gonna go talk to her.
– Now?
958
00:47:17,836 --> 00:47:19,337
Here, in front of all of these people?
959
00:47:19,504 --> 00:47:22,716
I didn't say I was gonna rape her.
I said I was gonna go talk to her.
960
00:47:26,594 --> 00:47:29,389
Excuse me. I'm Dylan. Nice to meet you.
961
00:47:29,889 --> 00:47:31,016
The Notebook.
962
00:47:37,439 --> 00:47:38,565
Nice meeting you.
963
00:47:42,277 --> 00:47:44,821
– Well?
– We talked. We laughed.
964
00:47:44,904 --> 00:47:46,031
Yeah.
965
00:47:46,239 --> 00:47:48,408
– She's Belgian.
– Explains the reading.
966
00:47:48,742 --> 00:47:50,160
I showed her where the balcony was,
967
00:47:50,243 --> 00:47:52,912
because that's where
she is meeting up with her husband.
968
00:47:54,914 --> 00:47:56,082
Anniversary trip to New York.
969
00:47:56,374 --> 00:47:59,377
Three kids. Christof, Karlina and Pepijn.
970
00:48:00,503 --> 00:48:01,546
Shut up.
971
00:48:02,589 --> 00:48:05,425
Why are you still laughing?
At least I gave it a shot.
972
00:48:05,675 --> 00:48:08,261
Fine. I'll go next.
973
00:48:08,595 --> 00:48:10,930
– See if I still have game.
– Okay.
974
00:48:11,097 --> 00:48:12,432
– Okay.
– Okay.
975
00:48:12,557 --> 00:48:14,017
– Yes.
– Right here. Eleven o'clock.
976
00:48:14,267 --> 00:48:16,853
– Iced coffee.
– Handsome, but doesn't know it.
977
00:48:17,395 --> 00:48:20,440
Staring at a tree, which means
he's actually in the park for nature
978
00:48:20,523 --> 00:48:22,108
and not to watch women sunbathe.
979
00:48:22,275 --> 00:48:23,860
– Or he's retarded.
– Don't care.
980
00:48:23,943 --> 00:48:25,069
I'm going in.
981
00:48:31,910 --> 00:48:33,369
– Excuse me.
– Yes?
982
00:48:33,870 --> 00:48:34,954
– Hi.
– Hello.
983
00:48:35,455 --> 00:48:36,748
I'm Jamie.
984
00:48:38,374 --> 00:48:39,626
Yeah. Yeah, that works.
985
00:48:41,377 --> 00:48:42,629
Hi.
986
00:48:45,089 --> 00:48:46,132
Okay.
987
00:48:46,299 --> 00:48:47,383
– Nice to meet you.
– Oh, my God!
988
00:48:52,138 --> 00:48:56,893
Okay. His name is Parker.
He's a children's oncologist.
989
00:48:58,144 --> 00:48:59,813
And I have a date this Saturday.
990
00:49:01,147 --> 00:49:02,315
– Nice.
– Thank you.
991
00:49:03,149 --> 00:49:04,943
Why'd you wave to me?
992
00:49:05,485 --> 00:49:08,404
I told him you were my gay best friend,
993
00:49:08,488 --> 00:49:10,240
so he wants to set you up with his brother.
994
00:49:12,992 --> 00:49:16,788
College, med school,
and I haven't slept since.
995
00:49:17,205 --> 00:49:19,207
I can't believe you actually cure cancer.
996
00:49:19,666 --> 00:49:21,543
Well, me and God.
997
00:49:22,377 --> 00:49:23,837
– What?
– I'm kidding.
998
00:49:24,170 --> 00:49:26,673
Can you imagine
someone who would actually say that?
999
00:49:26,798 --> 00:49:28,842
Yeah, I could.
I've been out with a lot of them.
1000
00:49:29,050 --> 00:49:30,677
– Cancer doctors?
– No, assholes.
1001
00:49:31,344 --> 00:49:32,387
Yeah.
1002
00:49:32,512 --> 00:49:33,680
Well, hopefully you're all done with that.
1003
00:49:34,848 --> 00:49:38,351
Although, I gotta warn you,
lot of cancer doctors, big assholes.
1004
00:49:38,476 --> 00:49:39,477
– Really?
– Yeah.
1005
00:49:39,561 --> 00:49:42,480
And brain surgeons, huge perverts.
1006
00:49:42,730 --> 00:49:45,400
While they're doing this, a little bit of that.
1007
00:49:47,026 --> 00:49:48,027
Hey.
1008
00:49:49,404 --> 00:49:50,697
Thank you.
1009
00:49:51,489 --> 00:49:52,574
When can I see you again?
1010
00:49:56,703 --> 00:49:57,704
Right now.
1011
00:49:59,205 --> 00:50:00,582
– I'm just kidding.
– Okay.
1012
00:50:00,707 --> 00:50:02,375
Can you imagine
someone who would actually say that?
1013
00:50:03,209 --> 00:50:04,711
I played the tuba in high school.
1014
00:50:04,919 --> 00:50:07,046
World's stupidest instrument.
1015
00:50:07,380 --> 00:50:09,090
Especially when you move eight times.
1016
00:50:09,257 --> 00:50:12,886
– Why'd you move?
– My mom really likes to break up with guys,
1017
00:50:13,052 --> 00:50:14,429
and she was really good at it.
1018
00:50:14,596 --> 00:50:16,848
– Was your dad one of them?
– No, no, he was long before that.
1019
00:50:17,265 --> 00:50:18,558
I actually never knew my dad.
1020
00:50:18,892 --> 00:50:20,268
I'm sorry. That sucks.
1021
00:50:23,229 --> 00:50:25,565
All right, look,
I think I should probably tell you something.
1022
00:50:25,732 --> 00:50:27,192
Please don't tell me you're a dude.
1023
00:50:27,275 --> 00:50:29,527
Because that'll be like the third time
since I moved here,
1024
00:50:29,611 --> 00:50:31,237
and I don't think I can handle that.
1025
00:50:31,529 --> 00:50:32,572
I have a five-date rule.
1026
00:50:33,406 --> 00:50:36,075
– You know, like, five dates before we…
– Yeah.
1027
00:50:36,284 --> 00:50:38,953
I saw it in a movie. I thought I'd give it a try.
1028
00:50:40,246 --> 00:50:41,289
You're worth waiting for.
1029
00:50:42,415 --> 00:50:44,250
I'm sure that was the line
in the movie you saw.
1030
00:50:45,960 --> 00:50:47,086
That's awesome.
1031
00:50:47,253 --> 00:50:50,048
This four-year-old that I've been working on
for the last couple months,
1032
00:50:50,256 --> 00:50:51,299
he's gonna be fine.
1033
00:50:51,591 --> 00:50:52,759
– That's great.
– Yeah.
1034
00:50:53,593 --> 00:50:55,219
How is a guy like you single?
1035
00:50:55,303 --> 00:50:58,306
I've just been waiting for someone
to come up to me in the park
1036
00:50:58,598 --> 00:51:00,934
and compliment me for looking at the trees
and not the sunbathers.
1037
00:51:01,059 --> 00:51:02,435
I meant it. It was impressive.
1038
00:51:02,560 --> 00:51:04,562
Actually, if I'm gonna be
completely honest with you,
1039
00:51:04,646 --> 00:51:06,356
I was sleeping standing up.
1040
00:51:06,439 --> 00:51:09,567
I worked 36 hours straight.
I don't even know how I got to the park.
1041
00:51:10,485 --> 00:51:11,819
How is a girl like you single?
1042
00:51:13,780 --> 00:51:14,906
I have issues.
1043
00:51:15,114 --> 00:51:16,658
One might even call me damaged.
1044
00:51:16,991 --> 00:51:18,493
Actually, one did call me damaged.
1045
00:51:18,618 --> 00:51:19,744
Get out of here. Damaged how?
1046
00:51:20,453 --> 00:51:21,663
I kind of believe in true love.
1047
00:51:22,330 --> 00:51:24,916
That there might be
a Prince Charming out there for me.
1048
00:51:30,255 --> 00:51:35,218
Listen, I know this is probably a no
because all you do is work like a dull boy,
1049
00:51:35,301 --> 00:51:37,637
but would you like to come get a beer?
1050
00:51:37,762 --> 00:51:38,763
I'm good.
1051
00:51:38,846 --> 00:51:40,598
No, it's not a gay bar.
1052
00:51:40,682 --> 00:51:44,644
And there'll be just as many hot girls
as hot guys.
1053
00:51:46,437 --> 00:51:49,023
You know what? I will come out.
1054
00:51:49,190 --> 00:51:51,943
All right. Let's find you a lady.
1055
00:51:52,986 --> 00:51:54,112
You're still not gay, right?
1056
00:51:54,195 --> 00:51:55,488
– Nope.
– Okay.
1057
00:52:01,327 --> 00:52:02,996
– What?
– Do you know what today is?
1058
00:52:04,038 --> 00:52:06,332
– Date number five.
– I wasn't even counting.
1059
00:52:11,671 --> 00:52:14,632
– Wanna go in the bedroom?
– No. Here's fine.
1060
00:52:20,847 --> 00:52:23,182
I am so glad I met you tonight.
1061
00:52:23,808 --> 00:52:25,226
Me, too.
1062
00:52:29,063 --> 00:52:31,024
What are you thinking?
1063
00:52:31,858 --> 00:52:34,152
Just how great you are.
1064
00:52:45,747 --> 00:52:47,165
Annie, hey.
1065
00:52:47,248 --> 00:52:49,584
Who the fuck is Annie?
1066
00:52:49,709 --> 00:52:50,918
My sister.
1067
00:52:51,044 --> 00:52:53,046
Better be. I'll cut her.
1068
00:52:55,548 --> 00:52:56,716
Of course I'm coming.
1069
00:52:57,050 --> 00:53:01,220
Yeah, I'm taking the 4th off,
so I'll be there for three days.
1070
00:53:11,898 --> 00:53:13,524
Yeah. How's Dad?
1071
00:53:14,025 --> 00:53:15,401
Any worse?
1072
00:53:16,194 --> 00:53:17,862
All right, tell him I said hi.
1073
00:53:18,738 --> 00:53:20,239
Bye, Banannie.
1074
00:53:23,910 --> 00:53:26,245
I want you to meet my parents.
1075
00:53:26,871 --> 00:53:28,790
No, you… Really?
1076
00:53:36,297 --> 00:53:37,590
God!
1077
00:53:55,900 --> 00:53:57,985
Hey. Hold on, hold on.
1078
00:53:58,611 --> 00:54:01,239
No, just hold on. Just give me a second.
1079
00:54:01,322 --> 00:54:04,117
I gotta go find a place to talk. Okay.
1080
00:54:06,410 --> 00:54:08,454
Shit. Shit. Just hold on.
1081
00:54:08,579 --> 00:54:09,747
– Oh, sorry.
– Hold on.
1082
00:54:09,831 --> 00:54:11,415
I was out pretty late last night.
1083
00:54:11,749 --> 00:54:14,669
When I got in, you and your girlfriend
were on the couch
1084
00:54:14,794 --> 00:54:16,337
so I just crashed in your bed.
1085
00:54:16,462 --> 00:54:18,131
– He's not a girl.
– He smells like a girl.
1086
00:54:18,297 --> 00:54:20,508
– You smelled him?
– I wanna buy marshmallows.
1087
00:54:20,633 --> 00:54:23,219
– What did you say?
– For Montauk this weekend.
1088
00:54:23,302 --> 00:54:26,097
I wanna do a campfire,
like when you were little.
1089
00:54:26,180 --> 00:54:27,265
Okay.
1090
00:54:27,348 --> 00:54:30,309
– And then we're gonna look for sticks.
– I hear you. Sticks.
1091
00:54:30,435 --> 00:54:33,312
And then we're gonna sing. We're gonna…
1092
00:54:33,479 --> 00:54:35,440
Just hold on a second.
1093
00:54:36,440 --> 00:54:37,608
Okay.
1094
00:54:39,694 --> 00:54:40,862
Okay.
1095
00:54:45,867 --> 00:54:47,076
What's up?
1096
00:54:47,160 --> 00:54:49,120
Do you think guys care more
about global warming
1097
00:54:49,203 --> 00:54:51,622
or how to wear white pants to a cookout?
1098
00:54:51,706 --> 00:54:52,832
Well, that depends.
1099
00:54:52,957 --> 00:54:55,626
Do you have a hot model in a bikini
standing on an icecap?
1100
00:54:55,710 --> 00:54:57,420
No. Ski slope.
1101
00:54:57,503 --> 00:54:59,463
I'd still go with pants to a cookout.
1102
00:54:59,630 --> 00:55:01,174
Yeah, me, too.
1103
00:55:01,716 --> 00:55:04,510
How's your boy Parker? Still staring at trees?
1104
00:55:04,635 --> 00:55:06,888
Two coffees.
Yeah, he's still looking up at trees,
1105
00:55:07,013 --> 00:55:09,223
but this time it's actually in my apartment.
1106
00:55:09,348 --> 00:55:11,726
– It's the fifth date already?
– Maybe. Thank you.
1107
00:55:11,851 --> 00:55:14,562
Did you guys "fifth-date"?
1108
00:55:14,687 --> 00:55:18,357
– How dare you! A lady never tells.
– I know. That's why I'm asking you.
1109
00:55:21,903 --> 00:55:24,739
Hey. I gotta go. You have a great trip in LA
and call me when you land.
1110
00:55:25,072 --> 00:55:26,199
Okay.
1111
00:55:26,324 --> 00:55:27,742
Parker.
1112
00:55:28,409 --> 00:55:29,702
Hey.
1113
00:55:30,995 --> 00:55:33,831
I got us coffees.
Nonfat, one sugar, one Splenda.
1114
00:55:34,415 --> 00:55:36,042
– I gotta get going.
– What?
1115
00:55:36,167 --> 00:55:37,418
I thought you weren't on call today.
1116
00:55:37,543 --> 00:55:40,838
I'm not, but I got that thing… I got stuff.
1117
00:55:40,922 --> 00:55:42,548
This… They just called me.
1118
00:55:44,550 --> 00:55:46,510
– Really?
– Yeah.
1119
00:55:46,677 --> 00:55:49,889
The sneak-out. How incredibly cliché of you.
1120
00:55:50,014 --> 00:55:51,390
I just…
1121
00:55:52,266 --> 00:55:54,268
I don't think I can be your Prince Charming.
1122
00:55:54,393 --> 00:55:57,230
God, you totally didn't get
anything that I was saying, did you?
1123
00:55:57,355 --> 00:56:00,691
– No, no, no. I think you're great.
– Yeah, you, too.
1124
00:56:01,025 --> 00:56:02,693
Hey, you know what?
You and I should stay friends.
1125
00:56:02,777 --> 00:56:04,779
– Really?
– No, go fuck yourself.
1126
00:56:15,748 --> 00:56:17,083
Who sleeps standing up?
1127
00:56:17,583 --> 00:56:18,751
You know, you'd be really proud of me.
1128
00:56:18,876 --> 00:56:20,836
I didn't even blink
when I told him to go fuck himself.
1129
00:56:20,920 --> 00:56:24,590
– You did just then, though.
– This does not count. I'm not in the moment.
1130
00:56:25,216 --> 00:56:26,884
I don't know, maybe I suck in bed.
1131
00:56:26,968 --> 00:56:28,302
Trust me, you don't suck in bed.
1132
00:56:29,095 --> 00:56:30,930
– Thank you.
– So needy.
1133
00:56:31,055 --> 00:56:32,682
Hey, maybe the guy's married or something.
1134
00:56:32,765 --> 00:56:34,600
No, did a background check at work.
1135
00:56:34,725 --> 00:56:37,812
Single, no criminal history, credit report 720.
1136
00:56:37,937 --> 00:56:39,522
Background check. Did you do one on me?
1137
00:56:39,605 --> 00:56:41,816
How could you possibly
max out an Old Navy card?
1138
00:56:41,941 --> 00:56:44,110
After college I was really into cargo pants.
1139
00:56:45,820 --> 00:56:47,655
Dylan, I gotta stop thinking it's not me.
1140
00:56:47,780 --> 00:56:50,032
– I mean, it's gotta be me.
– It's not you.
1141
00:56:50,116 --> 00:56:51,367
Nothing is wrong with you.
1142
00:56:51,450 --> 00:56:53,452
He's a guy.
You gave him a five-date challenge,
1143
00:56:53,577 --> 00:56:55,955
he got you and cut out. Forget the douche.
1144
00:56:56,080 --> 00:56:58,499
He's a dick. He's a dick-douche.
1145
00:56:59,667 --> 00:57:01,168
Go have fun with your mom.
1146
00:57:01,669 --> 00:57:04,839
– Okay.
– Almost forgot. I got you something.
1147
00:57:12,471 --> 00:57:15,141
It's Lieutenant Kali,
the street artist we talked about.
1148
00:57:15,308 --> 00:57:17,810
I got him to do something for you.
"F-tale." Fairytale.
1149
00:57:18,477 --> 00:57:21,647
– I know you're into that girly shit, so…
– This is so cool.
1150
00:57:22,773 --> 00:57:24,734
Dylan, that's actually really sweet.
1151
00:57:24,817 --> 00:57:26,819
– It's cool, right?
– Yeah. Thank you.
1152
00:57:28,654 --> 00:57:30,323
Hey, I'm gonna need to borrow cab fare.
1153
00:57:31,490 --> 00:57:33,659
I'm not taking that thing on the subway.
I don't wanna get rolled.
1154
00:57:33,784 --> 00:57:34,869
No problem.
1155
00:57:34,994 --> 00:57:36,996
As long as you get your feet off my bed.
They're disgusting.
1156
00:57:39,290 --> 00:57:40,374
What are you doing?
1157
00:57:40,499 --> 00:57:41,792
Why are you doing that?
Why are you doing that?
1158
00:57:42,335 --> 00:57:44,211
You're an animal. Stop doing that.
An animal. Stop.
1159
00:57:48,341 --> 00:57:49,800
Hey, Ma.
1160
00:57:51,135 --> 00:57:53,554
Ma. Come on, we gotta get on the road.
1161
00:57:54,013 --> 00:57:55,348
Come on.
1162
00:57:55,473 --> 00:57:56,891
Ma?
1163
00:58:15,534 --> 00:58:17,411
Why did I think that
this time would be any different?
1164
00:58:17,536 --> 00:58:19,163
– Come with me to LA.
– What?
1165
00:58:19,246 --> 00:58:21,957
What else are you gonna do?
It's 4th of July, everybody's left the city.
1166
00:58:22,041 --> 00:58:23,793
You're very sweet for asking, but it's fine.
1167
00:58:23,876 --> 00:58:25,544
You know what, I'll just stay here.
I'll be fine alone.
1168
00:58:25,669 --> 00:58:27,880
I know you'll be fine alone.
You're not a baby in a hot car.
1169
00:58:28,881 --> 00:58:30,716
I'm actually asking you to come
because it would help me.
1170
00:58:31,050 --> 00:58:32,760
You'd be a great distraction for my family.
1171
00:58:32,885 --> 00:58:35,054
They'd forget all about
drilling me for being single.
1172
00:58:35,221 --> 00:58:36,389
Won't they think that we're together?
1173
00:58:36,514 --> 00:58:38,557
– Not if I tell them we're not.
– And they'll believe you?
1174
00:58:38,683 --> 00:58:41,060
Yeah, we're one of these crazy families
that doesn't lie to each other.
1175
00:58:41,185 --> 00:58:42,520
PBS is doing a documentary on us.
1176
00:58:42,728 --> 00:58:43,771
Come on, they'll love you.
1177
00:58:43,896 --> 00:58:46,357
All fast-talking and brusque,
like I'm bringing home a carny.
1178
00:58:46,440 --> 00:58:49,527
You're really nice to ask,
but I'm just gonna stay here.
1179
00:58:49,610 --> 00:58:50,861
Go to the gym.
1180
00:58:51,112 --> 00:58:54,031
I just got you a ticket with my miles,
it's done. Meet me at JFK.
1181
00:58:54,115 --> 00:58:55,533
– But…
– No buts.
1182
00:58:55,616 --> 00:58:58,452
– Like you were gonna go to the gym.
– I wasn't.
1183
00:59:11,924 --> 00:59:13,551
LA's so nice.
1184
00:59:14,135 --> 00:59:15,970
And everyone's so genuine and level-headed.
1185
00:59:17,596 --> 00:59:20,599
Thanks for this. You're good peeps.
1186
00:59:20,766 --> 00:59:22,393
You're the good peeps, dude.
1187
00:59:22,476 --> 00:59:25,104
You haven't met my family.
You don't know what you're in for.
1188
00:59:26,897 --> 00:59:28,065
Okay.
1189
00:59:28,315 --> 00:59:30,151
You know these planes
pretty much land themselves?
1190
00:59:30,276 --> 00:59:33,154
Nobody cares. You sound like an asshole.
1191
00:59:34,613 --> 00:59:35,990
She's from New York.
1192
00:59:36,115 --> 00:59:37,450
I'm sorry.
1193
00:59:48,127 --> 00:59:50,421
Wow. This looks normal.
1194
00:59:50,504 --> 00:59:51,755
It is.
1195
00:59:52,631 --> 00:59:53,758
Thank you.
1196
00:59:57,970 --> 00:59:59,847
Wow, you grew up here?
1197
01:00:00,473 --> 01:00:02,475
It was my grandfather's.
1198
01:00:02,641 --> 01:00:04,268
He bought it
when there was nothing else here.
1199
01:00:04,435 --> 01:00:06,645
My dad and my sister
and her son live here now.
1200
01:00:08,105 --> 01:00:09,982
Why would you move to New York?
1201
01:00:10,149 --> 01:00:11,650
I was conned by some headhunter.
1202
01:00:12,818 --> 01:00:14,320
– You're here.
– Sammy!
1203
01:00:14,487 --> 01:00:15,488
Hey, Uncle Dylan.
1204
01:00:15,654 --> 01:00:16,864
What's up, buddy?
1205
01:00:17,823 --> 01:00:18,908
How are you?
1206
01:00:18,991 --> 01:00:21,702
Jamie, this is my nephew,
Sam the Magnificent.
1207
01:00:21,952 --> 01:00:24,580
– Hello.
– May I offer you a light for your cigarette?
1208
01:00:24,663 --> 01:00:26,332
I'm sorry, I don't smoke.
1209
01:00:26,457 --> 01:00:28,250
Just pretend. He's a magician.
1210
01:00:28,334 --> 01:00:31,212
Of course I'll have a cigarette.
Smoking is great for you.
1211
01:00:34,507 --> 01:00:38,886
– Wow. Thank you, good sir.
– My pleasure, my lady.
1212
01:00:39,803 --> 01:00:41,138
Oh, my God. I got it, I got it.
1213
01:00:41,222 --> 01:00:43,390
Sammy. I got it, I got it.
Just stay still. I got it, I got it.
1214
01:00:43,516 --> 01:00:45,142
Sammy! Are you okay?
1215
01:00:45,226 --> 01:00:46,477
All part of the illusion.
1216
01:00:46,560 --> 01:00:48,187
– Jet Skis later?
– Definitely.
1217
01:00:49,230 --> 01:00:50,439
Still into magic, huh?
1218
01:00:50,523 --> 01:00:53,692
Yep. But I'll take that over him
sexting his friends any day.
1219
01:00:54,527 --> 01:00:56,737
– Dilbert!
– Banannie.
1220
01:00:58,072 --> 01:01:00,574
Jamie, this is my sister, Annie.
1221
01:01:00,699 --> 01:01:02,117
– Hi.
– Thank you for having me.
1222
01:01:02,201 --> 01:01:04,161
Oh, please.
It's nice to have Dylan bring a girl home.
1223
01:01:04,245 --> 01:01:05,830
– We're just friends.
– Oh, no, I know.
1224
01:01:05,913 --> 01:01:08,082
If you were his girlfriend,
he never would've brought you here.
1225
01:01:08,207 --> 01:01:10,876
– This one has intimacy issues.
– I know.
1226
01:01:11,043 --> 01:01:12,086
– Dylan.
– Dad.
1227
01:01:12,211 --> 01:01:13,837
– Dylan. Oh, man.
– Hey.
1228
01:01:13,921 --> 01:01:16,298
– How you doing, buddy?
– I'm good.
1229
01:01:16,382 --> 01:01:18,342
I miss you guys, but I'm good.
1230
01:01:19,593 --> 01:01:20,761
Dede Spencer?
1231
01:01:21,220 --> 01:01:23,097
Jamie. Dylan's friend.
1232
01:01:25,266 --> 01:01:27,017
– I'm sorry. I…
– That's okay.
1233
01:01:27,101 --> 01:01:29,061
No, for a minute you reminded me
of a girl I used to know.
1234
01:01:29,228 --> 01:01:31,564
– No, that's okay. It happens.
– Nice to meet you.
1235
01:01:31,689 --> 01:01:33,774
Pleasure meeting you.
You have a beautiful house.
1236
01:01:33,899 --> 01:01:34,900
Thank you.
1237
01:01:35,192 --> 01:01:38,362
Pool's a little cold,
but it's very expensive to heat, so…
1238
01:01:39,405 --> 01:01:41,407
I think I'm gonna go in
and check the tide tables
1239
01:01:41,532 --> 01:01:43,117
'cause I'm gonna take the boat out
early in the morning.
1240
01:01:43,242 --> 01:01:44,743
– You should come.
– I would love to.
1241
01:01:44,868 --> 01:01:46,453
We sold the boat.
1242
01:01:46,579 --> 01:01:48,581
The doctor doesn't want you
driving the boat anymore.
1243
01:01:50,875 --> 01:01:52,751
– Turning to mush.
– No.
1244
01:01:54,378 --> 01:01:56,589
It's good to see you, buddy.
1245
01:01:56,755 --> 01:01:58,382
– Nice to meet you.
– It was nice meeting you, too.
1246
01:01:58,465 --> 01:02:00,217
– Jamie. See?
– Yes.
1247
01:02:05,222 --> 01:02:08,058
– What's with the pants?
– He doesn't like them anymore.
1248
01:02:08,267 --> 01:02:10,102
He's getting worse.
1249
01:02:10,477 --> 01:02:12,229
It's so good to have you here.
1250
01:02:13,439 --> 01:02:14,481
Go show her the beach.
1251
01:02:15,941 --> 01:02:17,985
– Let me show you the beach. Come on.
– Okay.
1252
01:02:18,110 --> 01:02:20,946
– Go, get sandy. Get all messed up.
– Okay.
1253
01:02:36,503 --> 01:02:38,547
Dylan never told me about your dad.
1254
01:02:38,631 --> 01:02:41,342
Yeah, it's been tough on him.
They were real close.
1255
01:02:42,009 --> 01:02:43,886
Dylan doesn't quite know
how to deal with the Alzheimer's.
1256
01:02:43,969 --> 01:02:45,179
I'm sorry.
1257
01:02:45,304 --> 01:02:47,890
He'll be his regular old self
and everything seems fine,
1258
01:02:47,973 --> 01:02:50,643
and then just in a flash, he's gone.
1259
01:02:52,603 --> 01:02:55,105
– That's Dylan when he was nine.
– Are those braids?
1260
01:02:55,356 --> 01:02:57,983
He was going through a Kris Kross phase.
Remember them?
1261
01:03:03,447 --> 01:03:06,200
– Is that your mom?
– No, that's Dylan's speech therapist.
1262
01:03:07,326 --> 01:03:10,287
He had a stutter.
It got real bad when he was nervous.
1263
01:03:10,537 --> 01:03:11,997
He had a rough childhood.
1264
01:03:12,164 --> 01:03:15,167
– His math tutor called it "character-building."
– Math tutor?
1265
01:03:15,292 --> 01:03:19,129
No, we're talking, like, 8 times 6 equals 1,200.
1266
01:03:19,213 --> 01:03:21,298
But he's very visual, thank God.
1267
01:03:21,548 --> 01:03:26,053
– Can you please explain to me this photo?
– That is my 12th-birthday surprise party.
1268
01:03:26,178 --> 01:03:28,222
– Hey.
– Amazing moment.
1269
01:03:28,347 --> 01:03:30,057
I'm exhausted. I'm gonna go to bed.
1270
01:03:30,182 --> 01:03:33,227
– Jamie, you all good with your room?
– Yeah. No, it's perfect.
1271
01:03:33,644 --> 01:03:35,396
Thank you. Thank you for everything.
1272
01:03:40,192 --> 01:03:43,404
Sammy and I built a saw-a-girl-in-half box,
so just be careful on your way to bed.
1273
01:03:43,529 --> 01:03:46,657
– He's not using a real saw, is he?
– Of course he is. He's magnificent.
1274
01:03:47,157 --> 01:03:50,536
I'll make sure he brushes his teeth,
and you, don't believe anything she says.
1275
01:03:50,661 --> 01:03:52,162
She's a liar.
1276
01:03:53,205 --> 01:03:55,666
– He's a pretty special guy.
– Yeah, I think so.
1277
01:03:58,419 --> 01:04:00,379
– Jamie. Hey.
– Hey.
1278
01:04:00,713 --> 01:04:01,880
– You up?
– Yeah. Come in.
1279
01:04:04,842 --> 01:04:06,635
– I thought you were going to bed.
– I was.
1280
01:04:06,719 --> 01:04:09,388
But then I realised
we were both single again, so…
1281
01:04:13,100 --> 01:04:14,727
– Dude, no.
– Why not?
1282
01:04:14,852 --> 01:04:16,729
I washed my hands. With soap this time.
1283
01:04:16,895 --> 01:04:18,772
Are you serious?
Why would you just assume?
1284
01:04:18,939 --> 01:04:22,609
You cracked your neck on the porch.
This thing. That's your tell, remember?
1285
01:04:22,776 --> 01:04:26,071
I cracked my neck
because we were on a flight for six hours,
1286
01:04:26,739 --> 01:04:29,616
and you were yapping my ear off
about how planes all fly themselves,
1287
01:04:29,742 --> 01:04:31,243
and it actually kinked my neck a bit.
1288
01:04:31,368 --> 01:04:34,079
– So, no?
– No. Not having sex with you.
1289
01:04:34,204 --> 01:04:36,457
Is it your special time?
They have an app for that. No, wait.
1290
01:04:39,418 --> 01:04:41,378
– Nope, you're good to go.
– We talked about this.
1291
01:04:41,462 --> 01:04:44,131
– Plus, I just got dumped, so…
– Okay, I'm sorry.
1292
01:04:44,256 --> 01:04:46,550
I thought this would be a good way
to take your mind off him.
1293
01:04:46,633 --> 01:04:48,761
No, I don't function that way.
Sex is not gonna help.
1294
01:04:49,219 --> 01:04:51,346
But you know what will? Emotional support.
1295
01:04:51,430 --> 01:04:54,308
Before we were sex without emotion,
and now we're emotion without sex.
1296
01:04:54,433 --> 01:04:55,851
Exactly.
1297
01:04:55,934 --> 01:04:57,770
I just need you to be my friend right now.
1298
01:04:57,895 --> 01:04:59,938
Okay. So I'll listen to you
while you give me a hand job.
1299
01:05:00,230 --> 01:05:02,566
– No.
– I'm kidding. I got it. Good night.
1300
01:05:02,816 --> 01:05:06,820
Wait, hold on! Friends can still hang out
and, I don't know, listen to music.
1301
01:05:07,071 --> 01:05:08,113
Listen to music?
1302
01:05:10,157 --> 01:05:11,283
I'm gonna kill Annie.
1303
01:05:12,117 --> 01:05:15,120
– I can't believe you used to like them.
– I didn't like these guys.
1304
01:05:15,245 --> 01:05:16,288
I don't even remember…
1305
01:05:28,967 --> 01:05:31,303
And then there's something,
I don't know what he says right there…
1306
01:05:33,806 --> 01:05:36,350
Are you kidding me?
These dudes were da bomb.
1307
01:05:36,475 --> 01:05:38,352
Everybody had Girbauds,
we all wore them backwards.
1308
01:05:38,477 --> 01:05:39,478
The baseball jerseys.
1309
01:05:41,313 --> 01:05:43,315
I went as Kris Kross
three years in a row for Halloween.
1310
01:05:43,440 --> 01:05:45,609
– Oh, you poor kid.
– I'm not proud of it.
1311
01:05:45,859 --> 01:05:49,488
Hey, I borrowed one of your books.
I hope that's okay.
1312
01:05:53,033 --> 01:05:54,326
Like this.
1313
01:05:56,787 --> 01:05:57,830
No.
1314
01:06:06,547 --> 01:06:07,673
Surprise!
1315
01:06:11,385 --> 01:06:14,680
Have you really never brought
a girl home before?
1316
01:06:14,888 --> 01:06:16,682
I brought you here.
1317
01:06:16,807 --> 01:06:19,977
I mean like a real girl. Not a friend.
1318
01:06:20,853 --> 01:06:22,855
– A real girl?
– Yeah.
1319
01:06:24,148 --> 01:06:25,566
I guess not.
1320
01:06:25,691 --> 01:06:28,360
– Separation of church and state.
– Ah, yes.
1321
01:06:28,527 --> 01:06:32,030
Build up as many walls as possible.
That's really healthy.
1322
01:06:32,155 --> 01:06:34,241
– What, are you talking to me about walls?
– Yeah.
1323
01:06:34,366 --> 01:06:36,577
What about you and your mom?
1324
01:06:36,743 --> 01:06:39,705
You couldn't get me out of there fast enough
when she walked in on us.
1325
01:06:39,872 --> 01:06:41,999
That was for your own protection. Okay?
1326
01:06:42,082 --> 01:06:45,919
I'm just surprised she didn't try
to slip you her number or something.
1327
01:06:46,044 --> 01:06:48,213
She did. She put it in my phone.
1328
01:06:48,338 --> 01:06:50,424
– Under "MILF."
– Oh, my God.
1329
01:06:50,549 --> 01:06:53,218
It's cool, we only hooked up, like, twice.
1330
01:06:54,845 --> 01:06:57,139
I'm starting to get a mental image.
1331
01:06:57,222 --> 01:06:58,473
Well, I have a video image.
1332
01:06:58,557 --> 01:07:01,727
No. Just stop it. Just stop it.
1333
01:07:04,354 --> 01:07:06,398
Just wrong.
1334
01:07:09,735 --> 01:07:10,903
What?
1335
01:07:12,446 --> 01:07:14,740
Nothing. Just glad I met you.
1336
01:07:17,201 --> 01:07:20,245
Yeah, well, knowing you doesn't suck either.
1337
01:07:38,096 --> 01:07:41,266
– But I thought you said…
– I know what I said.
1338
01:09:18,447 --> 01:09:19,531
God.
1339
01:09:44,431 --> 01:09:46,600
Lasorda was a good pitcher,
but he was an even better manager.
1340
01:09:46,725 --> 01:09:49,186
– Wrecking Crew?
– I wasn't saying he's not a great manager.
1341
01:09:49,269 --> 01:09:51,021
He's underappreciated as a pitcher,
that's all I'm saying.
1342
01:09:51,104 --> 01:09:52,439
We get it. Guys.
1343
01:09:52,564 --> 01:09:53,648
– Hi.
– Morning.
1344
01:09:53,732 --> 01:09:57,235
– Good morning.
– Is it always this beautiful out here?
1345
01:09:57,736 --> 01:10:00,614
Well, in between the fires and the floods,
we get about 10 good days.
1346
01:10:01,239 --> 01:10:03,492
No, no. Here. You two sit together.
1347
01:10:03,575 --> 01:10:04,951
– Are you sure?
– Oh, yeah, no, no.
1348
01:10:05,077 --> 01:10:07,746
– You don't have to do that, Dad.
– I know. I wanna look at the boat.
1349
01:10:07,829 --> 01:10:09,581
I love that boat.
1350
01:10:09,915 --> 01:10:11,750
– Here. Sorry.
– Great. Thanks.
1351
01:10:12,125 --> 01:10:13,293
Here.
1352
01:10:14,127 --> 01:10:16,797
Thank you. This… Okay.
1353
01:10:18,423 --> 01:10:20,509
– Coffee, my lady?
– Yes, please.
1354
01:10:21,510 --> 01:10:22,928
Thank you.
1355
01:10:24,638 --> 01:10:27,182
– All right, man!
– Look at you!
1356
01:10:27,432 --> 01:10:30,560
– That's pretty impressive.
– Yay, Sammy!
1357
01:10:30,644 --> 01:10:32,312
All right!
1358
01:10:32,646 --> 01:10:36,441
Oh, buddy. Your shirt's leaking.
Oh, no, that's…
1359
01:10:36,525 --> 01:10:37,651
Apologies.
1360
01:10:42,364 --> 01:10:43,532
Here.
1361
01:10:48,120 --> 01:10:49,788
– You okay?
– Yeah.
1362
01:10:50,705 --> 01:10:52,124
– You?
– Yeah.
1363
01:11:04,553 --> 01:11:06,805
– See them, Sammy?
– Yeah.
1364
01:11:08,640 --> 01:11:10,642
– Pretty cool, huh?
– Yeah.
1365
01:11:11,560 --> 01:11:13,395
God, it's nice.
1366
01:11:13,478 --> 01:11:17,732
I do miss the mornings out here.
Right before it burns off, it really is beautiful.
1367
01:11:17,983 --> 01:11:19,192
I like Jamie.
1368
01:11:21,820 --> 01:11:23,655
And she's pretty, too.
1369
01:11:23,822 --> 01:11:26,491
Hey, easy, dude.
Don't you go casting a spell on her.
1370
01:11:26,825 --> 01:11:30,495
I'm a magician, not a wizard.
You and your gay Harry Potter.
1371
01:11:30,996 --> 01:11:33,540
You can't deny that going to Hogwarts
wouldn't be life-changing.
1372
01:11:34,666 --> 01:11:37,169
– I miss you.
– I miss you, too, bud.
1373
01:11:38,170 --> 01:11:41,006
Mom misses you. And so does Grandpa.
1374
01:11:43,008 --> 01:11:44,176
Does he say anything?
1375
01:11:44,509 --> 01:11:47,345
No. But sometimes he calls me Dylan.
1376
01:11:50,223 --> 01:11:51,850
He said that he didn't want the job.
1377
01:11:51,933 --> 01:11:54,686
That he was just coming to New York
to explore his options.
1378
01:11:54,936 --> 01:11:56,104
What a crock of gas.
1379
01:11:57,105 --> 01:11:59,191
You fly across the country
to explore your options?
1380
01:11:59,274 --> 01:12:00,692
Please. I don't think so.
1381
01:12:00,775 --> 01:12:04,404
Exactly! Please, I knew I had him
the second he got off that plane.
1382
01:12:04,571 --> 01:12:05,780
– Oh, did you, now?
– Yeah.
1383
01:12:05,864 --> 01:12:08,450
Was that the same second you leapt
onto the baggage carousel barefoot
1384
01:12:08,533 --> 01:12:09,868
and acted out a scene from Will and Grace?
1385
01:12:10,535 --> 01:12:12,412
– She did?
– Oh, yeah, you should have seen her.
1386
01:12:12,537 --> 01:12:13,872
"Look at me, I'm goofy but cute."
1387
01:12:13,955 --> 01:12:15,498
You know what? It was all part of my plan.
1388
01:12:15,582 --> 01:12:16,750
Quite a plan.
1389
01:12:16,875 --> 01:12:18,335
Did you major in Planning
at Headhunting College?
1390
01:12:18,418 --> 01:12:20,754
– So clever.
– It's not a real college, by the way, buddy.
1391
01:12:20,879 --> 01:12:23,924
You guys bicker like
you're an old married couple.
1392
01:12:24,216 --> 01:12:25,509
Here, pick a card, my lady.
1393
01:12:25,592 --> 01:12:26,760
Okay.
1394
01:12:26,885 --> 01:12:28,845
Oh, no, not that one. The one on top.
1395
01:12:28,929 --> 01:12:31,097
– This is a good one.
– So…
1396
01:12:31,223 --> 01:12:32,390
– Yeah?
– Shuffle.
1397
01:12:32,557 --> 01:12:34,476
Did you get her an engagement gift?
1398
01:12:34,893 --> 01:12:37,479
We're not engaged, Dad. We're not together.
We're just friends.
1399
01:12:37,562 --> 01:12:41,733
All right, you don't wanna label it.
I understand. But get her some jewellery.
1400
01:12:42,734 --> 01:12:44,110
The only thing your mom loves is jewellery.
1401
01:12:44,236 --> 01:12:47,739
I don't care how upset she is,
I get her jewellery, she lights right up.
1402
01:12:48,114 --> 01:12:49,282
Where is she, anyway?
1403
01:12:50,617 --> 01:12:53,787
– She's not here, Dad.
– I know, that's why I asked. Where is she?
1404
01:12:56,122 --> 01:12:58,291
– She's not coming.
– Why not?
1405
01:12:58,833 --> 01:13:01,586
She doesn't live with you anymore, Pop.
You're not married.
1406
01:13:02,337 --> 01:13:04,965
– What?
– She left about 10 years ago.
1407
01:13:05,090 --> 01:13:06,174
I don't understand.
1408
01:13:06,591 --> 01:13:08,468
She divorced you, Dad.
1409
01:13:11,596 --> 01:13:12,931
– I have to call her.
– Dad, you can't.
1410
01:13:13,014 --> 01:13:14,432
Stop telling me what to do.
1411
01:13:15,809 --> 01:13:17,269
Get your…
1412
01:13:20,939 --> 01:13:22,190
Grandpa!
1413
01:13:22,440 --> 01:13:23,733
Dylan, get…
1414
01:13:23,817 --> 01:13:25,193
– You okay, Dad?
– I'm fine, I'm fine.
1415
01:13:25,277 --> 01:13:27,696
– Here, let me help you up.
– No, don't. Don't!
1416
01:14:00,020 --> 01:14:01,479
Here we are.
1417
01:14:02,564 --> 01:14:04,858
This is beautiful.
1418
01:14:04,983 --> 01:14:07,736
Yeah, this is where I used to come to think.
My rooftop.
1419
01:14:07,819 --> 01:14:09,321
Okay, how high do you think that fence is?
1420
01:14:09,487 --> 01:14:10,989
I'm a little over 6 foot.
1421
01:14:11,156 --> 01:14:14,409
Looks like it's about three of me.
So six times three…
1422
01:14:15,493 --> 01:14:17,162
Ninety-two feet.
1423
01:14:17,662 --> 01:14:21,041
– Ninety-two feet. That's really tall, right?
– Yeah.
1424
01:14:22,000 --> 01:14:25,503
But they don't want you to get up there,
so I guess that makes sense.
1425
01:14:25,587 --> 01:14:29,341
– Wait. Six times three…
– Oh, God, you poor kid.
1426
01:14:30,216 --> 01:14:32,052
– What's up?
– Come on.
1427
01:14:32,510 --> 01:14:34,054
What? What? Where are you going?
1428
01:14:34,679 --> 01:14:37,390
Jamie, no, no, no, no, no, wait.
They take this shit seriously, okay?
1429
01:14:37,515 --> 01:14:38,516
Look at all the cameras.
1430
01:14:38,600 --> 01:14:41,978
This is the only landmark this city has
other than the Scientology Centre.
1431
01:14:42,062 --> 01:14:45,148
And if any of these cameras are hooked up
to the actual Scientology Centre,
1432
01:14:45,231 --> 01:14:47,108
that was an inappropriate joke
and I apologise.
1433
01:14:47,192 --> 01:14:49,778
I believe in the freedom of science fiction.
1434
01:14:51,279 --> 01:14:52,947
Pussy! Oh, sorry.
1435
01:14:53,031 --> 01:14:54,074
Pussy!
1436
01:14:54,449 --> 01:14:55,533
Come on!
1437
01:15:01,873 --> 01:15:04,668
– You really never been up here before?
– No.
1438
01:15:04,751 --> 01:15:07,212
I've also never transferred
heroin in my rectum,
1439
01:15:07,295 --> 01:15:09,089
'cause it's against the law.
1440
01:15:09,422 --> 01:15:13,218
You know, sometimes a simple
yes or no answer is adequate.
1441
01:15:13,385 --> 01:15:15,053
Hey, why didn't you tell me about your mom?
1442
01:15:15,553 --> 01:15:17,555
She's not worth talking about.
1443
01:15:18,223 --> 01:15:19,224
That's rough.
1444
01:15:19,557 --> 01:15:20,934
So is leaving your husband and kids.
1445
01:15:22,060 --> 01:15:24,104
Yeah, you never told me about him either.
1446
01:15:24,229 --> 01:15:26,147
You know, there's a lot of stuff
you didn't tell me.
1447
01:15:26,272 --> 01:15:27,816
I don't want your pity.
1448
01:15:29,317 --> 01:15:33,071
I can handle anything except
that look in people's eyes.
1449
01:15:35,490 --> 01:15:38,410
– That one.
– Who cares what anybody thinks?
1450
01:15:38,952 --> 01:15:42,288
He's the smartest man I've ever known.
He's the only person I'd ever go to for advice.
1451
01:15:42,414 --> 01:15:43,665
He's my dad.
1452
01:15:43,790 --> 01:15:45,208
Dylan, he's still the same man.
1453
01:15:45,291 --> 01:15:46,626
When I see the way people look at him now…
1454
01:15:46,751 --> 01:15:49,921
It doesn't matter how people look at him.
1455
01:15:50,004 --> 01:15:51,256
All that matters is how you look at him.
1456
01:15:51,339 --> 01:15:54,175
Yeah, but he's walking around
without his pants. Everyone's staring.
1457
01:15:54,300 --> 01:15:55,885
– So what?
– It's embarrassing.
1458
01:15:55,969 --> 01:15:57,637
He needs to know that nothing has changed.
1459
01:15:57,762 --> 01:15:59,639
That he's still that same man to you.
1460
01:15:59,764 --> 01:16:01,766
Can we stop talking about this?
1461
01:16:03,309 --> 01:16:06,563
Yeah, that's really smart.
Let's just not talk about our feelings.
1462
01:16:06,646 --> 01:16:07,772
I'm trying not to.
1463
01:16:09,774 --> 01:16:12,861
Come on. Is something going on here?
You've been acting really weird.
1464
01:16:13,194 --> 01:16:14,946
– No, I haven't.
– Yeah, you have.
1465
01:16:15,530 --> 01:16:16,823
Is this about what happened the other night?
1466
01:16:16,948 --> 01:16:19,033
What, sex? That doesn't mean anything.
You know that.
1467
01:16:22,287 --> 01:16:23,329
Right.
1468
01:16:23,455 --> 01:16:25,623
– And I haven't been acting weird.
– Okay.
1469
01:16:27,292 --> 01:16:29,669
– Oh, my God!
– Oh, shit!
1470
01:16:29,836 --> 01:16:31,754
– I told you!
– Well, I'm sorry!
1471
01:16:31,838 --> 01:16:32,881
Fuck!
1472
01:16:32,964 --> 01:16:36,050
This is the LAPD. You are trespassing.
Get down from the sign.
1473
01:16:36,134 --> 01:16:37,302
We gotta jump.
1474
01:16:39,220 --> 01:16:41,639
– Dylan, jump!
– I'm frozen.
1475
01:16:41,723 --> 01:16:42,807
Come on, get down!
1476
01:16:42,891 --> 01:16:44,017
Sir, this is your last warning.
1477
01:16:44,142 --> 01:16:46,311
– Use the ladder!
– I have a fear of heights!
1478
01:16:46,561 --> 01:16:51,316
And also helicopters!
They don't make sense to me!
1479
01:16:51,399 --> 01:16:53,735
What do you mean
you have a fear of heights?
1480
01:16:54,194 --> 01:16:55,612
Why would you come up here?
1481
01:16:55,695 --> 01:16:58,239
You called me a pussy!
1482
01:17:00,241 --> 01:17:02,911
A bizarre situation
this afternoon in the Southland.
1483
01:17:02,994 --> 01:17:06,539
The LAPD rescued a local man
from the Hollywood sign,
1484
01:17:06,998 --> 01:17:08,708
the city's only real landmark.
1485
01:17:08,833 --> 01:17:11,002
They actually wrapped you in a foil blanket!
1486
01:17:11,211 --> 01:17:12,754
Did you run a marathon before this?
1487
01:17:12,837 --> 01:17:14,380
– Okay. Give me…
– No!
1488
01:17:14,506 --> 01:17:16,758
– No, no. I wanna save it. I gotta save it.
– No. That's enough!
1489
01:17:16,841 --> 01:17:19,093
– Give me the remote! Shut up!
– No, I wanna watch it over and over.
1490
01:17:19,177 --> 01:17:20,762
Foil wrapper…
1491
01:17:20,845 --> 01:17:22,055
Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay.
1492
01:17:23,014 --> 01:17:24,766
It's okay, it'll be up on YouTube.
1493
01:17:26,059 --> 01:17:29,771
Hey, you're still good to take Dad that week
I have to go to DC for Sam's class trip, right?
1494
01:17:29,854 --> 01:17:33,024
– Yeah, he's gonna stay with me in New York.
– Oh, good.
1495
01:17:33,399 --> 01:17:36,110
So, when are we gonna see Jamie again?
1496
01:17:36,194 --> 01:17:37,654
I don't know.
1497
01:17:37,737 --> 01:17:40,114
What's your problem?
Did you have a fight with your girlfriend?
1498
01:17:40,198 --> 01:17:42,242
She's not my girlfriend.
Why don't you believe me?
1499
01:17:42,367 --> 01:17:44,702
I would believe you if you didn't lie to me.
1500
01:17:44,786 --> 01:17:46,830
I saw you creeping out of her room
the other night.
1501
01:17:46,913 --> 01:17:48,957
Like you had just had sex,
if you know what I mean.
1502
01:17:49,207 --> 01:17:50,959
Yes, I know what you mean, you just said it.
1503
01:17:51,042 --> 01:17:53,253
And how do you know
what I look like after I have…
1504
01:17:53,378 --> 01:17:56,589
I'm not talking to you about this, okay?
We're not together.
1505
01:17:57,048 --> 01:17:59,259
– Dylan.
– Enough! I'm not talking about it.
1506
01:17:59,467 --> 01:18:00,718
Dylan.
1507
01:18:02,554 --> 01:18:03,972
Forgot my saw. I'll be right back.
1508
01:18:06,558 --> 01:18:09,102
I'll wait here. Don't worry about me.
1509
01:18:09,227 --> 01:18:12,397
Friends who have sex?
What are you, in college?
1510
01:18:12,480 --> 01:18:14,440
– It doesn't matter, it's over.
– Why?
1511
01:18:14,566 --> 01:18:16,234
Because we don't like each other like that.
1512
01:18:16,317 --> 01:18:19,279
Okay, you know what?
Can we just talk about this? Sit down.
1513
01:18:19,571 --> 01:18:20,989
What more are you looking for?
1514
01:18:21,072 --> 01:18:23,074
– Who says I'm looking for anything?
– Dylan.
1515
01:18:23,241 --> 01:18:26,411
– I don't know, but it's not Jamie.
– Why, because you're great together?
1516
01:18:26,744 --> 01:18:28,329
Because you're actually
friends with each other?
1517
01:18:28,413 --> 01:18:30,873
Because this is the happiest
I have ever seen you?
1518
01:18:30,957 --> 01:18:33,835
I don't know what to tell you.
She's not for me. I don't like her like that.
1519
01:18:33,918 --> 01:18:37,422
– You liked her enough to have sex with her.
– It's just physical.
1520
01:18:37,505 --> 01:18:40,383
– Like playing tennis.
– I don't even know what that means, Dylan.
1521
01:18:40,466 --> 01:18:43,011
I haven't seen you this dumb
since you got that candy corn tattoo.
1522
01:18:43,136 --> 01:18:45,430
It's a lightning bolt! With extra powers!
1523
01:18:45,513 --> 01:18:47,599
Dylan, you can't name
one thing that's wrong with her.
1524
01:18:47,765 --> 01:18:50,894
I can never go out with her.
She's too fucked up.
1525
01:18:50,977 --> 01:18:52,896
Okay, she doesn't want a boyfriend.
1526
01:18:52,979 --> 01:18:54,147
She's too damaged.
1527
01:18:54,272 --> 01:18:56,316
Magnum P.I. couldn't solve
the shit going on in her head.
1528
01:18:56,441 --> 01:18:58,651
Wow. You'll say anything right now
1529
01:18:58,776 --> 01:19:00,320
not to admit that
you're perfect for each other.
1530
01:19:00,445 --> 01:19:02,322
– Why am I still having this conversation?
– Because I'm right.
1531
01:19:02,447 --> 01:19:04,115
– Good talk, Annie.
– Dylan.
1532
01:19:24,344 --> 01:19:26,387
I don't think the three-point line
would have done anything.
1533
01:19:26,471 --> 01:19:28,264
– He was taller than anyone alive.
– No, but it helped Kobe.
1534
01:19:28,348 --> 01:19:29,807
– Kobe Bryant is incredible.
– It helped him.
1535
01:19:29,891 --> 01:19:33,269
– You're men. You like sports. You're men.
– Scored 81 points. Please.
1536
01:19:33,353 --> 01:19:35,229
Hey! We were waiting for you.
1537
01:19:35,521 --> 01:19:36,939
I actually got a call from work.
1538
01:19:37,023 --> 01:19:38,733
I have to be on a red eye tonight
back to New York.
1539
01:19:39,067 --> 01:19:40,485
– Tonight?
– Yeah.
1540
01:19:40,860 --> 01:19:42,820
– Tomorrow's the 4th.
– I know, it sucks.
1541
01:19:43,071 --> 01:19:44,364
Well, at least let me drive you to the airport.
1542
01:19:44,489 --> 01:19:47,492
No, no. It's fine. Stay.
I already called a cab. It's out front.
1543
01:19:47,575 --> 01:19:49,619
But thank you guys for everything.
1544
01:19:49,702 --> 01:19:52,497
And thank you for letting me stay here.
It's been pretty great.
1545
01:19:55,750 --> 01:19:56,918
– Hey.
– Hey.
1546
01:19:57,001 --> 01:19:59,921
– Everything okay, buddy?
– Yeah, buddy. Everything's great.
1547
01:20:00,004 --> 01:20:01,339
I just really gotta go.
1548
01:20:01,673 --> 01:20:05,301
So, thank you again. I'm sorry I gotta go.
1549
01:20:05,385 --> 01:20:07,095
– Let Dylan drive you.
– Yeah.
1550
01:20:07,178 --> 01:20:10,014
– Do you wanna take some food to go?
– Do you want me to saw you in half?
1551
01:20:10,181 --> 01:20:13,434
You can send your bottom part to New York
and your top half can stay here.
1552
01:20:14,894 --> 01:20:17,897
Or the whole of you could stay.
1553
01:20:18,022 --> 01:20:19,732
Okay, I'm sorry. I gotta go.
1554
01:20:32,120 --> 01:20:33,538
Jamie!
1555
01:20:41,045 --> 01:20:43,589
She's gone. She hopped in the cab.
1556
01:20:50,888 --> 01:20:53,266
– We should eat. You hungry, buddy?
– Yeah.
1557
01:20:53,641 --> 01:20:56,060
Okay. Hand me your plate.
1558
01:21:26,340 --> 01:21:29,177
Hey, bro. You hungry?
'Cause I'm going to get something to eat.
1559
01:21:29,260 --> 01:21:32,263
Thanks, man.
I think I'm just gonna work through lunch.
1560
01:21:32,430 --> 01:21:37,518
A work ethic. I love it.
That is why this country is still number one.
1561
01:21:38,102 --> 01:21:41,856
Well, behind Germany and France
and Belgium and Japan and China and…
1562
01:21:42,273 --> 01:21:44,525
Thank God for Bangladesh.
1563
01:21:45,276 --> 01:21:48,780
By the way, why did you take
your door off its lovely hinges?
1564
01:21:48,863 --> 01:21:51,282
It was dumb, man.
Something I saw in a management book.
1565
01:21:51,449 --> 01:21:55,203
Oh, right, right.
Like, that's how Warren Buffett got rich.
1566
01:21:55,286 --> 01:21:57,038
He took doors off of things.
1567
01:21:57,121 --> 01:21:59,123
Hey, everybody wants a shortcut in life.
1568
01:21:59,207 --> 01:22:02,043
My guidebook is very simple.
You wanna lose weight?
1569
01:22:02,210 --> 01:22:03,377
Stop eating, fatty.
1570
01:22:03,503 --> 01:22:04,629
You wanna make money?
1571
01:22:04,712 --> 01:22:06,714
Work your ass off, lazy.
1572
01:22:06,798 --> 01:22:07,924
You wanna be happy?
1573
01:22:08,007 --> 01:22:10,218
Find someone you like and never let him go.
1574
01:22:10,468 --> 01:22:13,471
Or her, if you're into that kind of creepy shit.
1575
01:22:26,317 --> 01:22:28,820
Hi, you've reached Jamie Rellis.
I can't pick up the phone right now,
1576
01:22:28,903 --> 01:22:31,489
but please leave a message
and I'll call you back.
1577
01:22:38,663 --> 01:22:41,666
Mom, Mom, you gotta point it at the screen.
You gotta tell it where you are.
1578
01:22:42,333 --> 01:22:45,711
Fine. I'm over here pouring myself a drink.
1579
01:22:49,757 --> 01:22:53,177
Booty call.
I can take a walk around the block.
1580
01:22:53,261 --> 01:22:55,847
No, no. Nope, that's okay.
1581
01:22:55,930 --> 01:22:57,682
This is your apartment.
I don't wanna twat-block you.
1582
01:23:00,685 --> 01:23:02,520
That's Dylan, right?
1583
01:23:02,687 --> 01:23:04,480
– He seemed pretty great.
– You met him once.
1584
01:23:04,564 --> 01:23:06,399
Well, that's more than
anybody else you've dated.
1585
01:23:06,691 --> 01:23:09,694
I don't know, you think maybe I keep
my worlds apart for some crazy reason?
1586
01:23:20,872 --> 01:23:23,374
I am an asshole.
1587
01:23:24,041 --> 01:23:27,128
We're looking for someone
to lead the redesign of our entire website.
1588
01:23:27,211 --> 01:23:28,963
Someone to turn it completely upside down.
1589
01:23:29,046 --> 01:23:30,798
But you can't tell me
what company you work for?
1590
01:23:30,882 --> 01:23:33,426
For confidentiality reasons, no.
1591
01:23:33,551 --> 01:23:34,760
Can you give me a hint?
1592
01:23:34,886 --> 01:23:38,890
We may or may not be the largest seller
of purchased goods on the Internet.
1593
01:23:38,973 --> 01:23:41,309
And by "purchased goods," I mean books.
1594
01:23:41,726 --> 01:23:44,312
You just placed the new art director
over at GQ, right?
1595
01:23:44,395 --> 01:23:45,438
Yeah.
1596
01:23:45,563 --> 01:23:48,441
That's the type of guy we want.
Shoot, that's the guy we want.
1597
01:23:48,566 --> 01:23:49,567
Can you get him to come out to us?
1598
01:23:50,401 --> 01:23:52,987
No longer have a relationship with him.
1599
01:23:53,112 --> 01:23:55,948
– Can you get to him?
– He's still in the first year of his contract,
1600
01:23:56,073 --> 01:23:58,492
so that would be inappropriate.
1601
01:23:58,576 --> 01:24:00,661
So is paying full price
for a book at Barnes & Noble,
1602
01:24:00,745 --> 01:24:01,913
but people do dumb shit.
1603
01:24:05,583 --> 01:24:08,085
Hi, you've reached Jamie Rellis.
I can't pick up the phone right now,
1604
01:24:08,169 --> 01:24:10,254
but please leave a message
and I'll call you back.
1605
01:24:10,421 --> 01:24:13,424
Wow, right to voice mail. Didn't even ring.
1606
01:24:25,686 --> 01:24:26,938
Jamie.
1607
01:24:28,856 --> 01:24:31,150
How'd you know I was up here?
1608
01:24:32,443 --> 01:24:34,278
Only place in the city
you don't get reception.
1609
01:24:34,362 --> 01:24:35,613
Right.
1610
01:24:35,780 --> 01:24:37,865
– Why are you avoiding me?
– I'm not.
1611
01:24:38,157 --> 01:24:40,117
Really? Come on, Jamie.
1612
01:24:40,284 --> 01:24:44,288
Well, Dylan, I don't know if you've heard,
but I am seriously fucked up.
1613
01:24:44,997 --> 01:24:48,960
I mean, Magnum P.I. couldn't solve
the shit going on up here.
1614
01:24:49,961 --> 01:24:52,255
– Oh, my God, I'm sorry.
– But I'm just gonna go
1615
01:24:52,338 --> 01:24:55,633
and try to fix the shit going on up
in my head, if that's even possible.
1616
01:24:56,300 --> 01:25:00,012
I shouldn't have said that.
I was just trying to get my sister off my back.
1617
01:25:00,137 --> 01:25:02,348
– She thought we liked each other.
– Yeah, me, too, Dylan.
1618
01:25:02,473 --> 01:25:03,474
I thought we were friends.
1619
01:25:03,557 --> 01:25:06,143
But friends don't go
talking shit about each other,
1620
01:25:06,227 --> 01:25:09,605
which must mean that you and I
were actually never friends.
1621
01:25:09,689 --> 01:25:13,109
– That all you wanted was to get in my pants.
– What?
1622
01:25:13,192 --> 01:25:15,403
You jumped at the chance
at your dad's house.
1623
01:25:15,486 --> 01:25:16,570
You cracked your neck.
1624
01:25:16,654 --> 01:25:18,781
I thought you were giving me a sign.
We talked about this.
1625
01:25:18,864 --> 01:25:20,199
Oh, my God, really?
1626
01:25:20,324 --> 01:25:22,576
You pulled my robe off.
"Oopsy." Remember?
1627
01:25:22,660 --> 01:25:24,870
Yeah. And then you snuck out of the room.
1628
01:25:24,996 --> 01:25:26,163
"Oopsy." Remember that?
1629
01:25:27,164 --> 01:25:30,167
Are you pissed off at me
because I didn't cuddle?
1630
01:25:32,003 --> 01:25:36,090
Isn't that why we started
this whole arrangement in the first place?
1631
01:25:36,257 --> 01:25:37,925
You wanted this.
1632
01:25:40,594 --> 01:25:42,179
I wanted this?
1633
01:25:43,222 --> 01:25:44,515
Just me?
1634
01:25:44,849 --> 01:25:48,144
God, you are just like every other guy.
1635
01:25:48,227 --> 01:25:51,022
The sad thing is, Dylan,
I actually thought you were different.
1636
01:25:51,105 --> 01:25:53,357
Different from what?
I'm not your boyfriend, I'm your friend.
1637
01:25:54,191 --> 01:25:56,360
Well, with friends like you,
who needs friends?
1638
01:25:59,113 --> 01:26:03,534
And thank you for ruining my mountaintop.
1639
01:26:04,410 --> 01:26:05,703
Asshole.
1640
01:26:12,626 --> 01:26:14,587
Hey, man, you can't be up here.
1641
01:26:15,463 --> 01:26:16,630
Okay.
1642
01:26:16,922 --> 01:26:19,592
– You okay?
– I'm fine.
1643
01:26:46,243 --> 01:26:48,287
Bryce, is this for me?
1644
01:26:48,579 --> 01:26:50,956
Yeah. And so is this.
1645
01:26:51,332 --> 01:26:53,918
Madison, will you marry me?
1646
01:26:54,251 --> 01:26:56,170
You bet your ass, Flapjack!
1647
01:26:58,422 --> 01:27:00,674
– I love New York.
– I love you.
1648
01:27:01,425 --> 01:27:03,302
Oh, my God.
Look, the Empire State Building.
1649
01:27:03,511 --> 01:27:04,678
Wow.
1650
01:27:04,762 --> 01:27:06,347
Oh, look, the Statue of Liberty.
1651
01:27:13,687 --> 01:27:15,106
Hello, this is Jamie.
1652
01:27:16,941 --> 01:27:18,859
What do you mean they went to him directly?
1653
01:27:19,944 --> 01:27:21,445
Well, is he gonna take it?
1654
01:27:21,612 --> 01:27:24,698
No, no, no, no, no. I'll handle it.
I'll call him right now.
1655
01:27:24,782 --> 01:27:25,950
Okay.
1656
01:27:29,703 --> 01:27:31,455
Hey, this is Dylan. Leave a message.
1657
01:27:39,839 --> 01:27:41,507
Excuse me. May I help you?
1658
01:27:41,715 --> 01:27:43,759
Oh, hi. Where's Dylan Harper?
1659
01:27:43,843 --> 01:27:45,469
He's at a photo shoot for the sports issue.
1660
01:27:45,970 --> 01:27:49,223
That's right. The photo shoot.
Where was that again?
1661
01:27:49,473 --> 01:27:50,558
I'm sorry. Who are you?
1662
01:27:51,308 --> 01:27:52,476
One of the models.
1663
01:27:53,185 --> 01:27:55,312
I have the perfect body for Photoshop.
1664
01:27:55,813 --> 01:27:59,400
Yeah, this gets more angular,
these get longer,
1665
01:27:59,525 --> 01:28:01,819
and this gets way more Christian.
1666
01:28:02,319 --> 01:28:04,405
So where did you say he was again?
1667
01:28:05,489 --> 01:28:08,868
Sports is the last chance we have
of bringing our world together, bro.
1668
01:28:09,034 --> 01:28:12,079
So I just wanted to shoot some photos
that speak to that,
1669
01:28:12,163 --> 01:28:14,540
to the unification of all people
through sports.
1670
01:28:14,665 --> 01:28:16,041
Okay, guys. Let's go.
1671
01:28:16,667 --> 01:28:17,835
That's it.
1672
01:28:18,377 --> 01:28:19,587
Beautiful.
1673
01:28:19,753 --> 01:28:21,464
Okay, now put your arms around each other,
1674
01:28:21,547 --> 01:28:23,883
like you like each other,
like you love each other.
1675
01:28:24,258 --> 01:28:26,510
– Too gay?
– A little bit.
1676
01:28:26,760 --> 01:28:28,888
Throw some girls in there.
1677
01:28:29,013 --> 01:28:31,348
Come on, ladies. Hop to.
1678
01:28:32,933 --> 01:28:36,228
Girls, girls. Okay, look. Just blend in.
1679
01:28:36,687 --> 01:28:38,898
Okay, let's go boy, girl, boy…
1680
01:28:39,023 --> 01:28:40,858
– Dylan.
– …boy, boy, boy, boys.
1681
01:28:41,692 --> 01:28:43,527
– What are you doing here?
– You met for another job!
1682
01:28:43,611 --> 01:28:46,363
– What, are you gonna leave now?
– I don't know. Yeah, I took one meeting.
1683
01:28:46,447 --> 01:28:48,866
– I can't believe you.
– Come here.
1684
01:28:49,909 --> 01:28:51,994
– Is this your way of getting back at me?
– What?
1685
01:28:52,077 --> 01:28:54,205
You know that if you leave
before a year is up, I get screwed.
1686
01:28:54,455 --> 01:28:55,915
Oh, right.
1687
01:28:56,040 --> 01:28:57,249
If I did leave,
1688
01:28:57,374 --> 01:29:00,169
which I don't know yet
because all I did was take one meeting,
1689
01:29:00,252 --> 01:29:02,087
I'd write you a cheque for your bonus.
1690
01:29:03,380 --> 01:29:05,758
Whatever it is, I'll pay for it.
Happy now? We good?
1691
01:29:06,050 --> 01:29:08,219
– Why didn't you tell me you were looking?
– That's personal.
1692
01:29:08,302 --> 01:29:10,596
And we're not friends anymore.
You made that pretty clear.
1693
01:29:12,139 --> 01:29:15,809
See, all I wanted to do
was have sex with you. Remember?
1694
01:29:16,560 --> 01:29:18,145
Pretend you were the best friend I'd ever had.
1695
01:29:18,229 --> 01:29:20,064
Open up to you
like I've never done with anyone ever.
1696
01:29:20,397 --> 01:29:23,734
And then when the sex stopped,
invite you to LA for the weekend
1697
01:29:25,319 --> 01:29:26,779
to introduce you to my family.
1698
01:29:28,322 --> 01:29:30,741
– I'll send you a cheque if I take the job.
– Don't bother.
1699
01:29:35,788 --> 01:29:37,831
Why don't you pick him up?
1700
01:29:38,249 --> 01:29:40,834
Yeah. Just pick him on up.
1701
01:29:41,126 --> 01:29:43,254
Oh, you little Christ figure, you!
1702
01:30:07,444 --> 01:30:09,780
– Hey, Dyl.
– Dad's coming into Newark Airport, right?
1703
01:30:09,863 --> 01:30:11,615
Yeah, he leaves at 9:00 our time.
1704
01:30:11,782 --> 01:30:14,618
9:00. So it's a five-hour flight,
three-hour time difference,
1705
01:30:14,702 --> 01:30:17,329
so he gets in at 32:00?
1706
01:30:17,454 --> 01:30:20,457
5:00. Be there at 5:00, Dylan.
1707
01:30:20,708 --> 01:30:22,668
Right. How is Dad?
1708
01:30:24,336 --> 01:30:26,839
He's lost more often than not now.
1709
01:30:26,964 --> 01:30:29,967
But then he has these moments
of real clarity. It's hit or miss.
1710
01:30:30,050 --> 01:30:31,218
– Okay.
– How's Jamie?
1711
01:30:33,721 --> 01:30:35,306
– That's over.
– Oh, Dylan!
1712
01:30:35,472 --> 01:30:38,517
– Okay, we're done.
– Don't be an idiot, please.
1713
01:30:38,642 --> 01:30:40,978
Thank you, Annie.
I'll pick up Dad tomorrow at the airport.
1714
01:30:41,061 --> 01:30:42,813
– 32:00 sharp.
– I love you.
1715
01:30:46,483 --> 01:30:47,860
I don't know what it is.
1716
01:30:47,985 --> 01:30:50,487
I just can't get myself
to start looking for a replacement for him,
1717
01:30:50,571 --> 01:30:51,655
assuming that he leaves.
1718
01:30:51,739 --> 01:30:54,950
– Do you want some motherly love advice?
– Not really.
1719
01:30:55,034 --> 01:30:56,785
Oh, good, 'cause I don't know
how to do that.
1720
01:30:56,869 --> 01:31:00,456
What I do know is that
it's no great goddamn secret
1721
01:31:00,539 --> 01:31:03,250
you live in fear of repeating my mistakes.
1722
01:31:03,334 --> 01:31:05,419
And you're not wrong, so learn from me.
1723
01:31:05,669 --> 01:31:08,672
Do you know how many men in my life
I thought were really perfect?
1724
01:31:08,881 --> 01:31:10,007
– Eighty.
– One.
1725
01:31:10,174 --> 01:31:11,842
– Eighty-one?
– One.
1726
01:31:12,051 --> 01:31:14,511
It was your dad. Greatest man I ever met.
1727
01:31:14,595 --> 01:31:16,263
Obviously. Look at you.
1728
01:31:16,347 --> 01:31:19,558
How smart you are, how great,
how funny, how driven.
1729
01:31:19,683 --> 01:31:21,018
Your vaguely Middle Eastern beauty.
1730
01:31:21,101 --> 01:31:23,854
Sure as hell didn't all come from me.
1731
01:31:24,188 --> 01:31:26,273
Okay, but, seriously, Mom,
1732
01:31:26,357 --> 01:31:28,692
do you really not remember
where my dad's from?
1733
01:31:28,901 --> 01:31:30,527
Or is it like a coping mechanism?
1734
01:31:30,611 --> 01:31:32,404
– A little of both.
– Okay.
1735
01:31:32,529 --> 01:31:35,032
But I'm pretty sure he's Eurasian.
1736
01:31:36,200 --> 01:31:39,870
I mean, we all have our Prince Charming,
you just gotta know him when you see him.
1737
01:31:40,037 --> 01:31:42,539
Mom, it's Prince Charming.
You should just know.
1738
01:31:42,623 --> 01:31:45,876
Well, your Prince Charming isn't coming
to rescue you in a horse and carriage.
1739
01:31:45,959 --> 01:31:47,628
That's not who you want.
1740
01:31:47,711 --> 01:31:51,632
I mean, you're looking for a man
to be your partner.
1741
01:31:52,549 --> 01:31:54,259
To take on the world with.
1742
01:31:54,385 --> 01:31:57,137
You gotta update your fairytale, baby.
1743
01:31:57,763 --> 01:31:59,598
My Prince Charming?
1744
01:32:00,307 --> 01:32:01,642
You.
1745
01:32:01,809 --> 01:32:02,893
Mom.
1746
01:32:25,165 --> 01:32:28,752
– Hey.
– A wheelchair. Like I'm an invalid.
1747
01:32:28,919 --> 01:32:30,462
– How was the flight?
– I'm hungry.
1748
01:32:30,587 --> 01:32:32,297
You know they don't serve food
in coach anymore?
1749
01:32:32,423 --> 01:32:34,675
You'd think with these new planes,
they practically fly themselves,
1750
01:32:34,758 --> 01:32:37,302
they could get rid of a pilot
and use his salary for a hot lunch.
1751
01:32:37,428 --> 01:32:39,847
– I know, right? Let's get you some food.
– God.
1752
01:32:40,305 --> 01:32:42,516
The engineering on these planes
is so advanced.
1753
01:32:42,599 --> 01:32:43,809
Completely computerised.
1754
01:32:43,934 --> 01:32:45,936
– It's like playing a video game.
– Exactly.
1755
01:32:46,103 --> 01:32:48,939
God. How long have we been waiting here?
It's ridiculous.
1756
01:32:49,106 --> 01:32:51,150
I'll be right back, okay?
1757
01:32:53,944 --> 01:32:55,988
Excuse me. We've been waiting a while.
1758
01:32:56,113 --> 01:32:57,781
– Harper.
– Yeah, I got you. I got you.
1759
01:32:57,865 --> 01:32:59,491
I have to seat people in the order they came.
1760
01:32:59,616 --> 01:33:01,535
I totally understand that, but I'm with my dad
1761
01:33:01,618 --> 01:33:03,495
– and he's not in the best shape.
– I'm sorry.
1762
01:33:03,662 --> 01:33:05,456
Is there no way we could,
like, squeeze a table?
1763
01:33:05,831 --> 01:33:08,375
No, I gotta go by the list. Sorry.
1764
01:33:12,296 --> 01:33:13,464
Dad?
1765
01:33:20,304 --> 01:33:21,472
Dad?
1766
01:33:22,806 --> 01:33:24,308
Shit. Dad?
1767
01:33:37,029 --> 01:33:38,489
You gonna join me?
1768
01:33:48,207 --> 01:33:49,833
Absolutely.
1769
01:33:54,546 --> 01:33:56,340
Excuse me, sir. I'm sorry, you cannot do this.
1770
01:33:56,423 --> 01:33:58,634
Could I get a steak, medium, please?
1771
01:33:58,717 --> 01:34:00,677
– Sir, this is the Daily Grill.
– Make that two.
1772
01:34:09,853 --> 01:34:11,230
Dede? Dede!
1773
01:34:20,197 --> 01:34:21,365
Dad.
1774
01:34:21,865 --> 01:34:23,200
Dad.
1775
01:34:27,037 --> 01:34:28,121
Who is Dede?
1776
01:34:28,914 --> 01:34:33,210
Jesus. She's just a girl that I met in the Navy.
1777
01:34:34,294 --> 01:34:35,712
Was…
1778
01:34:38,215 --> 01:34:39,800
She was the love of my life.
1779
01:34:41,385 --> 01:34:42,427
Okay?
1780
01:34:43,554 --> 01:34:44,888
Why didn't you tell me about her before?
1781
01:34:45,055 --> 01:34:47,891
This is not something
you discuss with your children.
1782
01:34:47,975 --> 01:34:50,852
And besides, I have you and Annie.
I have no regrets.
1783
01:34:50,936 --> 01:34:51,979
So tell me now.
1784
01:34:54,231 --> 01:34:55,607
She was the love of my life.
1785
01:34:55,732 --> 01:34:56,984
And I was too stupid to realise it,
1786
01:34:57,067 --> 01:35:00,153
and I lost her because of something
so dumb I don't even remember.
1787
01:35:00,904 --> 01:35:02,322
And I never really got over her.
1788
01:35:02,906 --> 01:35:06,660
And I think that may be
one of the reasons your mom left.
1789
01:35:07,911 --> 01:35:11,456
You know, my friends used to say that
when Dede and I looked at each other,
1790
01:35:11,582 --> 01:35:12,749
it was electric.
1791
01:35:12,833 --> 01:35:14,084
And I let her go.
1792
01:35:14,501 --> 01:35:15,836
I just let her go.
1793
01:35:15,919 --> 01:35:19,464
Because I was too damn proud
to tell her how I really felt about her.
1794
01:35:20,173 --> 01:35:22,759
I'll tell you something that I wish
I knew when I was your age.
1795
01:35:22,926 --> 01:35:24,761
And I know you've heard
a million times, "life is short."
1796
01:35:24,845 --> 01:35:28,432
But let me tell you something,
what this is teaching me
1797
01:35:28,515 --> 01:35:31,643
is that life is goddamn short
and you can't waste a minute of it.
1798
01:35:34,271 --> 01:35:36,106
I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
1799
01:35:40,611 --> 01:35:44,448
The girl I brought home to LA, Jamie?
1800
01:35:44,531 --> 01:35:47,200
– Yeah, what's going on with her?
– I think I messed it up.
1801
01:35:47,701 --> 01:35:49,286
– Fix it.
– She won't talk to me.
1802
01:35:49,620 --> 01:35:51,747
Maybe she'll listen. There's always a way.
1803
01:35:51,830 --> 01:35:56,501
If you think there's even a chance
that she could be it, you fix it.
1804
01:35:58,629 --> 01:35:59,880
Did Annie put you up to this?
1805
01:36:00,631 --> 01:36:01,798
Who's Annie?
1806
01:36:02,341 --> 01:36:03,508
I'm kidding.
1807
01:36:03,634 --> 01:36:05,927
What, I can't joke about this?
1808
01:36:06,011 --> 01:36:08,513
– Jesus Christ, Dad.
– I don't know what else to do.
1809
01:36:10,349 --> 01:36:11,475
Let's go.
1810
01:36:11,850 --> 01:36:13,894
You don't want to finish your steak?
1811
01:36:13,977 --> 01:36:16,855
We're eating in the goddamn airport.
I can leave the steak. Come on.
1812
01:36:17,356 --> 01:36:21,318
Yeah, hey, this is Dylan Harper from GQ.
We met a few weeks ago at the…
1813
01:36:21,401 --> 01:36:23,862
Right. Hey, can I ask you a huge favour?
1814
01:36:24,196 --> 01:36:26,657
– I am so sorry, sir.
– It's my fault.
1815
01:36:26,740 --> 01:36:28,283
– You just scared me.
– No, no. My fault. You all right?
1816
01:36:28,367 --> 01:36:29,868
– Yeah, I'm good.
– Here, let me help you with that.
1817
01:36:29,993 --> 01:36:32,579
– Thanks, man. You're really nice.
– All right. Hey, safe travels.
1818
01:36:32,663 --> 01:36:34,164
– All right, thanks, man.
– Okay, thank you.
1819
01:36:34,915 --> 01:36:38,752
You gotta be fucking kidding me.
All right, let's dance, Clowny Brown.
1820
01:36:38,919 --> 01:36:41,588
– What's your problem with me?
– I saw you at that bar with Jamie.
1821
01:36:41,838 --> 01:36:45,425
How could such an awesome girl
be with this over this?
1822
01:36:46,176 --> 01:36:49,012
I've been trying to take that little monkey
to pound-town for years.
1823
01:36:49,513 --> 01:36:51,348
– I'll tell her you say hello.
– What?
1824
01:36:51,556 --> 01:36:53,600
You missed a little. There you go.
1825
01:36:53,684 --> 01:36:55,352
Dylan! I got a cab. Come on.
1826
01:36:55,435 --> 01:36:56,853
I ever run into you again,
1827
01:36:56,937 --> 01:36:59,356
I'll crush your earlobes
and make soup stock out of them.
1828
01:36:59,523 --> 01:37:01,525
– You have a vivid imagination.
– I do!
1829
01:37:01,608 --> 01:37:03,944
– I'm gonna get in the cab now.
– I'm gonna go make soup!
1830
01:37:04,027 --> 01:37:05,904
– What's the matter with her?
– I don't know.
1831
01:37:10,033 --> 01:37:13,370
God! I thought LA was bad.
This traffic is terrible.
1832
01:37:13,537 --> 01:37:14,788
Is there another way into the city?
1833
01:37:25,215 --> 01:37:27,300
I owe you big time, Tommy.
1834
01:37:27,384 --> 01:37:31,763
You'll make it up to me.
Actually, I was heading into town anyway.
1835
01:37:32,264 --> 01:37:36,560
Tonight's the Butterfly Ball.
Great place to pick up dudes.
1836
01:37:36,727 --> 01:37:38,895
– You okay, Dad?
– Are you kidding?
1837
01:37:39,062 --> 01:37:42,357
1937 Chris-Craft?
Couldn't get any better, buddy.
1838
01:37:42,441 --> 01:37:43,567
Nice.
1839
01:37:45,819 --> 01:37:47,988
Yeah. Hi, this is Dylan. We met at…
1840
01:37:48,071 --> 01:37:51,158
Right. Can I ask you a huge favour?
1841
01:37:55,662 --> 01:37:57,998
My number. Here's the remote.
1842
01:37:58,248 --> 01:38:01,418
My friend Dave from across the hall,
his oven broke, so he'll be using the kitchen.
1843
01:38:01,501 --> 01:38:04,838
Your friend Dave is here using the kitchen
or watching me?
1844
01:38:05,255 --> 01:38:06,590
Go.
1845
01:38:06,757 --> 01:38:08,300
– Holy…
– What?
1846
01:38:08,425 --> 01:38:10,260
"How to wear white pants to a cookout."
1847
01:38:10,427 --> 01:38:13,513
Did you scoop the Times on this?
I smell Pulitzer.
1848
01:38:14,097 --> 01:38:15,307
All right, all right.
1849
01:38:15,432 --> 01:38:16,850
Just say hello to her for me, will you?
1850
01:38:17,851 --> 01:38:19,269
See you, Dad.
1851
01:38:20,604 --> 01:38:21,772
Thanks, man.
1852
01:38:22,147 --> 01:38:23,690
Hi, Dave from across the hall.
1853
01:38:23,774 --> 01:38:27,486
Hi, Mr Harper. How are you?
1854
01:38:28,361 --> 01:38:29,946
And now we know why you're here.
1855
01:38:30,947 --> 01:38:34,534
Mom, I'm over by the Lexington exit.
Where are you?
1856
01:38:34,618 --> 01:38:36,745
I'm standing right by the guy in the tie.
1857
01:38:36,828 --> 01:38:40,499
– There are a million guys in ties.
– So look for the guy I'm standing next to.
1858
01:38:40,624 --> 01:38:43,460
You never do what you say you're gonna do.
When am I gonna learn?
1859
01:38:43,668 --> 01:38:45,170
Just hang on, baby.
1860
01:38:49,800 --> 01:38:50,884
What?
1861
01:38:53,220 --> 01:38:55,138
I don't think I'm gonna be able
to make it after all.
1862
01:38:55,222 --> 01:38:57,349
Something came up. Let's meet tomorrow.
1863
01:38:57,474 --> 01:39:00,560
I'll be on the stairs. Right across from you.
1864
01:39:05,023 --> 01:39:06,483
Oh, my God.
1865
01:39:06,858 --> 01:39:08,318
Have a great night, baby.
1866
01:39:27,712 --> 01:39:29,256
What is this?
1867
01:39:29,381 --> 01:39:32,050
It's Closing Time, by the band Semisonic!
1868
01:39:32,342 --> 01:39:34,636
It's not Third Eye Blind.
Can you believe that?
1869
01:39:34,719 --> 01:39:37,514
No, no, no. Not the song. This.
1870
01:39:37,722 --> 01:39:39,724
You said you wanted your life
to be like a movie.
1871
01:39:40,684 --> 01:39:44,271
Sorry I had to use the real Grand Central
instead of the fake one.
1872
01:39:51,027 --> 01:39:52,112
Listen, Jamie, I'm…
1873
01:39:52,195 --> 01:39:54,364
I'm having trouble hearing you!
1874
01:39:54,447 --> 01:39:56,324
Yeah, I didn't really think this through.
1875
01:39:56,408 --> 01:39:58,743
I guess in the movies
the guy pours his heart out
1876
01:39:58,869 --> 01:40:00,245
and they put the music in later.
1877
01:40:00,412 --> 01:40:01,580
What?
1878
01:40:04,875 --> 01:40:06,042
I messed up.
1879
01:40:07,043 --> 01:40:08,545
I was scared.
1880
01:40:09,379 --> 01:40:11,089
Look at what happened
with my mom and my dad.
1881
01:40:11,214 --> 01:40:12,299
Of course I was scared.
1882
01:40:13,133 --> 01:40:14,551
So I ruined it.
1883
01:40:15,719 --> 01:40:17,512
Everything that happens in the day,
1884
01:40:17,596 --> 01:40:20,765
all I can think to myself is,
"I can't wait to tell Jamie about this."
1885
01:40:21,766 --> 01:40:24,895
When I see someone cursing,
all I picture is you blinking.
1886
01:40:25,729 --> 01:40:30,317
And when I hear a kid's been cured of cancer,
I pray it's not by that douchebag,
1887
01:40:30,400 --> 01:40:33,320
tree-hugging fucking doctor
who ran out on you.
1888
01:40:33,570 --> 01:40:37,949
I mean, cancer being cured is awesome,
but, you know, I wish someone else did it.
1889
01:40:38,825 --> 01:40:40,118
Come on.
1890
01:40:45,081 --> 01:40:47,417
Hey, I miss you.
1891
01:40:47,584 --> 01:40:49,419
Yeah, I miss you, too.
1892
01:40:49,628 --> 01:40:51,588
But you're not wrong, I am damaged.
1893
01:40:51,755 --> 01:40:53,965
So am I. Who isn't?
1894
01:40:54,257 --> 01:40:56,134
That's what makes us so awesome.
1895
01:40:56,259 --> 01:40:57,928
– And our tattoos.
– Yeah.
1896
01:41:00,096 --> 01:41:02,599
– No, no, no.
– Shut up. It's not what you think.
1897
01:41:03,141 --> 01:41:05,602
Jamie, will you be my best friend again?
1898
01:41:06,645 --> 01:41:08,939
– That is so lame.
– I know.
1899
01:41:10,106 --> 01:41:11,733
That's some Prince Charming shit,
though, right?
1900
01:41:11,816 --> 01:41:13,026
– Get up.
– Okay.
1901
01:41:14,611 --> 01:41:17,822
Look, I can live without
ever having sex with you again.
1902
01:41:18,198 --> 01:41:20,033
It'd be really hard.
1903
01:41:20,492 --> 01:41:23,328
Hey, I want my best friend back,
1904
01:41:23,620 --> 01:41:25,455
because I'm in love with her.
1905
01:41:26,331 --> 01:41:28,792
– Under one condition.
– Anything.
1906
01:41:30,627 --> 01:41:31,962
Kiss me.
1907
01:41:33,546 --> 01:41:36,174
– In public? In front of all these people?
– I did not ask you to…
1908
01:41:55,819 --> 01:41:57,821
You can all go home now.
1909
01:42:04,077 --> 01:42:06,037
Okay. So…
1910
01:42:08,999 --> 01:42:11,167
– What do we do now?
– Have our first date.
1911
01:42:11,543 --> 01:42:12,669
Okay.
1912
01:42:15,839 --> 01:42:18,925
Oh, my God!
Did you get a horse and carriage?
1913
01:42:20,010 --> 01:42:21,845
Yeah, that's not for you.
1914
01:42:22,053 --> 01:42:25,098
Oh, thank God.
Horses actually scare the shit out of me.
1915
01:42:25,265 --> 01:42:26,516
– Really?
– Yeah.
1916
01:42:26,683 --> 01:42:27,934
So, where are you from?
1917
01:42:28,018 --> 01:42:30,562
– Outside of Philly, actually.
– Interesting.
1918
01:42:30,770 --> 01:42:34,357
– I'm from LA, just moved to New York.
– Interesting. Didn't really ask, but go on.
1919
01:42:34,441 --> 01:42:37,736
What? I'm excited, I'm on a first date. So…
1920
01:42:38,069 --> 01:42:40,238
This isn't weird at all.
1921
01:42:40,363 --> 01:42:42,532
– We're okay.
– Yeah. Thank you.
1922
01:42:44,909 --> 01:42:46,536
So…
1923
01:42:49,122 --> 01:42:50,707
Yeah, fuck it.
1924
01:49:01,911 --> 01:49:05,665
Roll credits, roll credits, roll credits.
And here come the outtakes.
1925
01:49:06,082 --> 01:49:09,419
Because if the actors had
a good time making it, it must be good.
1926
01:49:09,585 --> 01:49:11,421
You bet your ass, Jason.
1927
01:49:12,004 --> 01:49:14,424
Oh, my God, I just called him Jason.
1928
01:49:14,507 --> 01:49:16,259
Look, the crew's laughing.
1929
01:49:17,260 --> 01:49:20,138
They made me do it! They made me do it.
1930
01:49:20,805 --> 01:49:22,265
It's my favourite part.
145854
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