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1
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Previously on Young Sheldon...
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You got a roommate?
3
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No, it's a single.
4
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I have a chaperone.
5
00:00:06,774 --> 00:00:08,239
Why do you need a chaperone?
6
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Maybe they think I'm, like,
some kind of troublemaker.
7
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As the owner of the face
you punched, they're right.
8
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Do you play D&D?
9
00:00:14,487 --> 00:00:16,881
No. I actually just sit in my dorm room
10
00:00:16,884 --> 00:00:18,750
and study because I have no friends.
11
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- That's a bummer.
- Yeah.
12
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I think I'm gonna go.
13
00:00:21,755 --> 00:00:24,823
Bye.
14
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You should go after her.
15
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Why? She's a bummer. You just said so.
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Many cultures throughout the world
17
00:00:34,101 --> 00:00:35,901
relied on percussion to send messages
18
00:00:35,903 --> 00:00:37,903
across long distances.
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00:00:37,905 --> 00:00:40,609
For example, the West African dundun
20
00:00:40,612 --> 00:00:42,641
was used to imitate human speech...
21
00:00:44,478 --> 00:00:46,912
...while I used my fist,
the wall of my dorm,
22
00:00:46,914 --> 00:00:49,314
and Morse code to send a message.
23
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That's just the letter
"H." What does that mean?
24
00:00:56,608 --> 00:00:57,907
Yeah?
25
00:00:57,910 --> 00:00:59,425
I'm here to talk to you about your music
26
00:00:59,427 --> 00:01:01,326
and your abysmal Morse code skills.
27
00:01:01,328 --> 00:01:02,461
What?
28
00:01:02,463 --> 00:01:03,795
Four dots is just the letter "H."
29
00:01:03,797 --> 00:01:05,363
Was your message "Huh"?
30
00:01:05,365 --> 00:01:06,400
What?
31
00:01:08,536 --> 00:01:09,803
Paige?
32
00:01:10,871 --> 00:01:12,270
Sheldon?
33
00:01:12,272 --> 00:01:13,687
You know him?
34
00:01:13,690 --> 00:01:15,441
Yeah, no, we go way back.
35
00:01:15,443 --> 00:01:16,775
What are you doing here?
36
00:01:16,777 --> 00:01:19,177
Would you believe me if I
told you I was working on
37
00:01:19,179 --> 00:01:21,680
a femtosecond laser in
the engineering department?
38
00:01:21,682 --> 00:01:23,754
- Yes.
- Then that.
39
00:01:23,757 --> 00:01:26,151
You know she's not old
enough to drink beer.
40
00:01:26,153 --> 00:01:27,986
I'm not old enough to drink beer.
41
00:01:27,988 --> 00:01:29,621
Yeah, one second.
42
00:01:29,623 --> 00:01:31,632
Come here.
43
00:01:31,635 --> 00:01:33,592
Did I convince you
that drinking is wrong?
44
00:01:33,594 --> 00:01:34,693
Good for me.
45
00:01:34,695 --> 00:01:35,827
Just leave me alone.
46
00:01:35,829 --> 00:01:37,563
But what are you doing here?
47
00:01:37,565 --> 00:01:38,718
I'm trying to have fun,
48
00:01:38,721 --> 00:01:41,431
- and I don't want them to know how old I am.
- Why?
49
00:01:41,434 --> 00:01:43,968
Because I want them
to think that I'm cool.
50
00:01:43,970 --> 00:01:46,104
But you're smart.
What's cooler than that?
51
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Just go away.
52
00:01:47,775 --> 00:01:50,742
Hey, we're fixing to play
some beer-pong. You in?
53
00:01:50,744 --> 00:01:52,176
You should know, she is not...
54
00:01:52,178 --> 00:01:54,145
Not had dinner. I have
not had dinner yet, so
55
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we are going to go get some food.
56
00:01:55,679 --> 00:01:56,848
We are?
57
00:01:56,850 --> 00:01:58,283
- Do you have cash?
- Of course.
58
00:01:58,285 --> 00:01:59,718
I always have an emergency 20,
59
00:01:59,720 --> 00:02:01,252
plus four quarters for the telephone.
60
00:02:01,254 --> 00:02:03,054
21 bucks? Okay, you're buying.
61
00:02:03,056 --> 00:02:04,351
We're going the wrong way.
62
00:02:04,354 --> 00:02:07,424
Okay, well, I'm drunk. You lead.
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00:02:18,968 --> 00:02:25,442
- Synced and corrected by VitoSilans -
-- www.Addic7ed.com --
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Here, take a look at this.
65
00:02:27,117 --> 00:02:28,947
Does this look like tuna to you?
66
00:02:30,518 --> 00:02:32,283
What am I watching?
67
00:02:32,285 --> 00:02:33,953
It's called Dinosaurs.
68
00:02:33,956 --> 00:02:37,688
It's like The Flintstones,
only with dinosaurs. Come on.
69
00:02:37,691 --> 00:02:39,024
Well, that's dumb.
70
00:02:39,026 --> 00:02:41,536
Well, they talk, he's
got a job. It's fun.
71
00:02:41,539 --> 00:02:44,563
Wasn't The Flintstones
just The Honeymooners?
72
00:02:44,565 --> 00:02:47,264
Huh, I never even thought about that.
73
00:02:47,266 --> 00:02:49,501
Well, see, you just
kind of ruined it for me.
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00:02:49,503 --> 00:02:50,702
Good.
75
00:02:50,704 --> 00:02:51,812
Hey.
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00:02:51,815 --> 00:02:54,305
Please tell me you
brought some movies home.
77
00:02:54,307 --> 00:02:56,492
- Tootsie.
- Ooh, thank you.
78
00:02:56,495 --> 00:02:58,308
Really? We're supposed to believe
79
00:02:58,311 --> 00:02:59,911
Dustin Hoffman is a woman?
80
00:02:59,913 --> 00:03:02,981
But we believe talking dinosaurs?
81
00:03:02,983 --> 00:03:05,116
Okay, I'll leave you to it.
82
00:03:05,118 --> 00:03:06,852
Little late to start a movie.
83
00:03:06,854 --> 00:03:08,053
It's 8:00.
84
00:03:08,055 --> 00:03:09,521
We're saying the same thing.
85
00:03:09,523 --> 00:03:10,789
So, you want to go home?
86
00:03:10,791 --> 00:03:13,391
Well, I don't know. I
stayed here last night.
87
00:03:13,393 --> 00:03:14,429
So?
88
00:03:14,432 --> 00:03:16,226
So, two nights in a row.
89
00:03:16,229 --> 00:03:18,463
At what point are we living together?
90
00:03:18,465 --> 00:03:19,998
Fine. Go home.
91
00:03:20,000 --> 00:03:23,334
Oh, I'm okay with staying.
You're the independent one.
92
00:03:23,336 --> 00:03:26,237
If you want to stay, stay.
If you want to go, go.
93
00:03:26,239 --> 00:03:30,008
Fine. I'll stay if you're gonna beg.
94
00:03:30,010 --> 00:03:31,943
And this isn't what I wanted.
95
00:03:31,945 --> 00:03:33,679
Are you still inebriated, or can we have
96
00:03:33,681 --> 00:03:35,413
an intelligent conversation?
97
00:03:35,415 --> 00:03:37,583
Both.
98
00:03:37,585 --> 00:03:40,385
You do realize that
alcohol kills brain cells.
99
00:03:40,387 --> 00:03:42,654
Ah, but it also makes life tolerable.
100
00:03:42,656 --> 00:03:43,828
What do you mean?
101
00:03:43,831 --> 00:03:45,668
Well, talking to you
is usually annoying.
102
00:03:45,671 --> 00:03:47,695
So you're what's called
a mean drunk. Noted.
103
00:03:47,698 --> 00:03:49,063
I'm messing with you.
104
00:03:49,066 --> 00:03:51,161
It's just, sometimes life sucks,
105
00:03:51,164 --> 00:03:53,098
and it's easier not to deal with it.
106
00:03:53,100 --> 00:03:55,233
Could you be more specific?
107
00:03:55,235 --> 00:03:59,731
Um... well, I have no friends,
108
00:03:59,734 --> 00:04:02,540
I don't fit in anywhere,
and I dropped out of college
109
00:04:02,542 --> 00:04:03,953
but I'm too young to get a job,
110
00:04:03,956 --> 00:04:08,559
so killing brain cells makes it easier.
111
00:04:08,562 --> 00:04:10,147
Huh.
112
00:04:10,150 --> 00:04:14,720
Go ahead, smart guy, fix me.
113
00:04:14,722 --> 00:04:15,960
Mm.
114
00:04:15,963 --> 00:04:17,755
Well, give me a minute.
115
00:04:17,757 --> 00:04:22,527
♪ Sweet Tootsie roll... ♪
116
00:04:22,529 --> 00:04:26,250
Well, how do they not
see that's Dustin Hoffman?
117
00:04:26,253 --> 00:04:27,866
I buy it.
118
00:04:27,868 --> 00:04:29,937
So if I put on a wig and lipstick,
119
00:04:29,940 --> 00:04:31,368
you'd think I was a chick?
120
00:04:31,371 --> 00:04:33,805
Only one way to find out.
121
00:04:33,807 --> 00:04:36,141
Nice try.
122
00:04:36,143 --> 00:04:38,679
You do have some pretty
nice legs, though.
123
00:04:41,114 --> 00:04:43,715
Well, if you want, we
could pause the movie,
124
00:04:43,717 --> 00:04:46,584
and I'll let you touch 'em.
125
00:04:46,586 --> 00:04:48,720
Lucky me.
126
00:04:48,722 --> 00:04:51,757
So I'm assuming you haven't
taken the DARE pledge.
127
00:04:51,759 --> 00:04:53,058
The what?
128
00:04:53,060 --> 00:04:54,459
DARE. It's an acronym.
129
00:04:54,461 --> 00:04:56,825
It stands for Drug Abuse
Resistance Education.
130
00:04:56,828 --> 00:04:58,730
It's not too late. You can take it now.
131
00:04:58,732 --> 00:05:02,292
I promise not to do
drugs, to avoid violence,
132
00:05:02,295 --> 00:05:05,082
to be responsible, and to
make responsible choices.
133
00:05:05,085 --> 00:05:06,571
Now you say it.
134
00:05:06,573 --> 00:05:07,939
No.
135
00:05:07,941 --> 00:05:09,307
I dare you.
136
00:05:09,309 --> 00:05:10,642
Clever, right?
137
00:05:10,644 --> 00:05:12,177
Because I still have all my brain cells.
138
00:05:12,179 --> 00:05:14,414
Sheldon, just eat your pizza.
139
00:05:17,032 --> 00:05:19,491
Hey. You guys going to a party?
140
00:05:19,494 --> 00:05:21,052
Uh, Gamma Kappa house.
141
00:05:21,054 --> 00:05:22,429
Cool.
142
00:05:22,432 --> 00:05:24,956
Mm, you know, Officer
McDaniel was in charge
143
00:05:24,958 --> 00:05:26,312
of our DARE program.
144
00:05:26,315 --> 00:05:28,949
One time, he even brought in
his drug-sniffing dog Alfie.
145
00:05:28,952 --> 00:05:30,852
Which I didn't care for,
but it was nice to see
146
00:05:30,855 --> 00:05:33,589
a dog gainfully employed
and off the streets.
147
00:05:33,592 --> 00:05:37,002
Really? You're gonna
leave your socks on?
148
00:05:37,004 --> 00:05:38,336
My feet get cold.
149
00:05:38,338 --> 00:05:40,605
- Take 'em off.
- What do you care?
150
00:05:40,607 --> 00:05:42,606
It feels like a lack of commitment.
151
00:05:42,608 --> 00:05:45,043
Aw, fine.
152
00:05:45,045 --> 00:05:47,598
When was the last time
you cut your toenails?
153
00:05:47,601 --> 00:05:48,747
I don't know.
154
00:05:48,750 --> 00:05:50,033
Seriously, you look like something
155
00:05:50,035 --> 00:05:51,983
that could swoop down
and pick up a squirrel.
156
00:05:53,954 --> 00:05:56,254
Look who's here. Come on in.
157
00:05:56,256 --> 00:05:57,956
Thanks.
158
00:05:57,958 --> 00:05:59,257
Everything okay?
159
00:05:59,260 --> 00:06:01,319
Mind if I hang out here with y'all?
160
00:06:01,322 --> 00:06:02,582
Come on, mama.
161
00:06:02,585 --> 00:06:04,495
Need a break from Connie?
162
00:06:04,497 --> 00:06:09,600
I'm just trying to give
her and Dale some privacy.
163
00:06:09,602 --> 00:06:11,569
- Gross.
- Oh.
164
00:06:11,571 --> 00:06:13,872
What?
165
00:06:13,874 --> 00:06:16,523
Oh, nasty.
166
00:06:16,526 --> 00:06:17,709
Wait, sex, right?
167
00:06:17,711 --> 00:06:18,710
Yeah.
168
00:06:18,712 --> 00:06:20,311
Missy's at a sleepover
169
00:06:20,313 --> 00:06:21,980
if you want to use her room.
170
00:06:21,982 --> 00:06:23,614
I might take you up on that.
171
00:06:23,616 --> 00:06:26,319
You'll be safe here.
They never do anything.
172
00:06:31,058 --> 00:06:32,791
What are we doing here?
173
00:06:32,793 --> 00:06:34,659
It's a party, Sheldon.
174
00:06:34,661 --> 00:06:37,128
But we weren't invited.
I didn't bring a gift.
175
00:06:37,130 --> 00:06:39,397
Then go home.
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00:06:39,399 --> 00:06:41,566
Wait, this is dangerous.
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00:06:41,568 --> 00:06:44,002
There I stood, the classic hero
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00:06:44,004 --> 00:06:45,837
outside the dragon's cave.
179
00:06:45,839 --> 00:06:49,007
Should I risk life and
limb to save the maiden?
180
00:06:49,009 --> 00:06:51,481
My every instinct said no.
181
00:06:51,484 --> 00:06:54,785
But I drank a lot of root beer
and really had to go pee-pee.
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00:06:54,788 --> 00:06:56,054
♪ Let's go! ♪
183
00:07:07,394 --> 00:07:09,861
Hell does exist.
184
00:07:09,863 --> 00:07:13,867
Excuse me. Where's the nearest restroom?
185
00:07:14,968 --> 00:07:17,723
Hey, look, Pee-wee
Herman's at our party!
186
00:07:17,726 --> 00:07:21,272
Pee-wee! Pee-wee! Pee-wee!
187
00:07:21,274 --> 00:07:22,808
Pee-wee! Pee-wee!
188
00:07:22,810 --> 00:07:24,342
The hell continues.
189
00:07:24,344 --> 00:07:25,743
Pee-wee! Pee-wee!
190
00:07:30,950 --> 00:07:32,890
Oh, thank goodness.
191
00:07:32,893 --> 00:07:34,114
Come on!
192
00:07:34,117 --> 00:07:36,790
Hey, there's a line.
193
00:07:40,237 --> 00:07:42,674
Oh, boy. New hell.
194
00:07:45,132 --> 00:07:46,630
What?!
195
00:07:46,632 --> 00:07:48,781
- What?!
- Charley horse. Charley horse.
196
00:07:48,784 --> 00:07:50,768
- What-what do I do?
- I don't know.
197
00:07:50,770 --> 00:07:52,835
Here, rub it, rub it, rub it.
198
00:07:52,837 --> 00:07:55,003
That's kind of how this
whole thing got started.
199
00:07:55,007 --> 00:07:56,707
- That's not funny.
- Mm-hmm.
200
00:07:56,709 --> 00:07:58,867
You'll laugh later.
201
00:07:58,870 --> 00:08:00,585
Rub harder. Harder.
202
00:08:00,588 --> 00:08:02,047
I'm rubbing as hard as I can.
203
00:08:02,049 --> 00:08:03,632
Well, use your elbow.
204
00:08:03,635 --> 00:08:05,115
All right.
205
00:08:05,118 --> 00:08:06,584
I don't need my toothbrush.
206
00:08:06,586 --> 00:08:07,953
You like that?
207
00:08:07,955 --> 00:08:10,455
Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah.
208
00:08:10,457 --> 00:08:13,124
This night of depravity had reduced me
209
00:08:13,126 --> 00:08:15,626
to urinating on a tree
like a forest animal.
210
00:08:15,628 --> 00:08:17,028
How much worse could it get?
211
00:08:17,030 --> 00:08:18,864
Hey, Pee-wee's back!
212
00:08:18,866 --> 00:08:22,300
Pee-wee! Pee-wee! Pee-wee!
213
00:08:22,302 --> 00:08:24,602
Pee-wee!
214
00:08:24,604 --> 00:08:25,971
Excuse me.
215
00:08:25,973 --> 00:08:27,340
I'm looking for my friend.
216
00:08:27,343 --> 00:08:29,740
Blonde girl, about a meter and a half.
217
00:08:32,112 --> 00:08:36,147
♪ Suck the poison out... ♪
218
00:08:36,149 --> 00:08:38,616
Excuse me. I'm looking for...
219
00:08:38,618 --> 00:08:40,418
- Missy?
- Sheldon?
220
00:08:40,420 --> 00:08:41,719
What are you doing here?
221
00:08:41,721 --> 00:08:42,820
What are you doing here?
222
00:08:42,822 --> 00:08:44,155
Do Mom and Dad know you're here?
223
00:08:44,157 --> 00:08:45,756
Do Mom and Dad know you're here?
224
00:08:45,758 --> 00:08:47,092
Okay, stop. You go first.
225
00:08:47,094 --> 00:08:49,060
Heather's sister goes to school here.
226
00:08:49,062 --> 00:08:51,492
She invited us. Now you.
227
00:08:51,495 --> 00:08:53,364
I'm looking after Paige.
228
00:08:53,366 --> 00:08:55,598
Where is she?
229
00:08:55,601 --> 00:08:58,405
Well, I didn't say I
was doing a great job.
230
00:09:00,125 --> 00:09:01,572
Where's your toothbrush?
231
00:09:01,574 --> 00:09:03,074
I don't want to talk about it.
232
00:09:04,912 --> 00:09:08,079
Who the hell calls at this hour?
233
00:09:08,081 --> 00:09:09,714
Hello.
234
00:09:09,716 --> 00:09:11,182
Oh, hi.
235
00:09:11,184 --> 00:09:12,817
- Everything okay?
- Who is it?
236
00:09:12,819 --> 00:09:15,086
- Heather's mom.
- Oh. Is everything okay?
237
00:09:15,088 --> 00:09:17,956
You just heard me ask. Wh-What's up?
238
00:09:17,958 --> 00:09:21,061
No, Heather's not here.
They're at your house.
239
00:09:22,761 --> 00:09:24,494
- Huh.
- What?
240
00:09:24,497 --> 00:09:27,030
Heather told her mom
she was staying here.
241
00:09:27,033 --> 00:09:29,054
Classic.
242
00:09:31,838 --> 00:09:33,104
Paige is drunk?
243
00:09:33,106 --> 00:09:35,040
And high on what
Officer McDaniel's called
244
00:09:35,042 --> 00:09:37,442
Mary Jane, reefer and ganja.
245
00:09:37,444 --> 00:09:38,843
- Is she okay?
- No.
246
00:09:38,845 --> 00:09:40,211
She said her life is terrible.
247
00:09:40,213 --> 00:09:43,164
- What?
- Her life is terrible.
248
00:09:43,167 --> 00:09:44,282
What?
249
00:09:51,291 --> 00:09:53,326
Her life is terrible.
250
00:10:00,233 --> 00:10:02,833
How's your sex cramp, old man?
251
00:10:02,835 --> 00:10:04,835
Athletes get cramps all the time.
252
00:10:04,837 --> 00:10:07,973
It comes from dehydration, overexertion.
253
00:10:07,975 --> 00:10:09,440
I'll give you the dehydration,
254
00:10:09,442 --> 00:10:12,243
but I didn't see any
overexertion, though.
255
00:10:12,245 --> 00:10:13,644
Why, Connie?
256
00:10:13,646 --> 00:10:15,031
'Cause it's fun.
257
00:10:15,034 --> 00:10:16,982
Well, just give me a
minute, I'll be ready.
258
00:10:16,984 --> 00:10:18,516
Why don't we just call it a night
259
00:10:18,518 --> 00:10:19,684
and get some sleep?
260
00:10:19,686 --> 00:10:23,054
That's fine by me, but just to be clear,
261
00:10:23,056 --> 00:10:25,390
- you're calling it, not me.
- Yep.
262
00:10:25,392 --> 00:10:27,592
- I'm good to go.
- I'm sure you are.
263
00:10:27,594 --> 00:10:29,527
Yep.
264
00:10:29,529 --> 00:10:31,679
Damn tootin'.
265
00:10:33,504 --> 00:10:35,799
I don't know if it's any
help, but when I was her age
266
00:10:35,802 --> 00:10:38,003
and pulled this, it was
just to go to a party.
267
00:10:38,005 --> 00:10:39,437
Oh, great.
268
00:10:39,439 --> 00:10:41,408
So she's at a party, who knows where.
269
00:10:41,411 --> 00:10:42,543
You know what?
270
00:10:42,546 --> 00:10:44,039
- I'm gonna go find her.
- How?
271
00:10:44,042 --> 00:10:46,143
I don't know. I'm just...
I'm gonna drive around
272
00:10:46,146 --> 00:10:48,413
- till I hear some carousing.
- I'll go with you.
273
00:10:48,415 --> 00:10:50,815
Will you both just stop for a minute?
274
00:10:50,817 --> 00:10:53,220
There's nothing to do but wait.
275
00:10:54,287 --> 00:10:56,389
Fine.
276
00:10:58,703 --> 00:11:00,370
Nope. Georgie, let's go.
277
00:11:00,373 --> 00:11:02,026
Let's check out that creek in the woods
278
00:11:02,029 --> 00:11:03,263
where they found the headless body.
279
00:11:03,265 --> 00:11:04,429
Will you shut up.
280
00:11:04,431 --> 00:11:06,497
Now what do we do?
281
00:11:06,499 --> 00:11:08,899
We can't just leave.
Paige is still in there.
282
00:11:08,901 --> 00:11:10,655
Maybe we should call Mom.
283
00:11:10,658 --> 00:11:13,058
I do have four quarters
for that exact reason.
284
00:11:13,061 --> 00:11:14,697
Paige?
285
00:11:15,244 --> 00:11:16,777
Wait!
286
00:11:16,780 --> 00:11:18,304
What are you doing?
287
00:11:18,307 --> 00:11:22,779
Well, this is Bradley, and
we're going to another party.
288
00:11:22,782 --> 00:11:24,515
Another party? It's 9:30.
289
00:11:24,517 --> 00:11:27,718
Bradley, do you know how old she is?
290
00:11:27,720 --> 00:11:29,787
She said she was 18.
291
00:11:29,789 --> 00:11:31,256
Lower.
292
00:11:31,258 --> 00:11:32,790
Sixteen?
293
00:11:32,792 --> 00:11:34,059
Lower.
294
00:11:34,061 --> 00:11:35,995
Okay, I got to go.
295
00:11:37,864 --> 00:11:40,400
Thanks a lot.
296
00:11:42,269 --> 00:11:43,834
Come on.
297
00:11:43,836 --> 00:11:45,472
We're running again?
298
00:11:46,806 --> 00:11:48,441
We just ran.
299
00:11:57,225 --> 00:11:58,758
I'll tell you what.
300
00:11:58,761 --> 00:12:00,784
My daughter's never
gonna put me through this.
301
00:12:00,787 --> 00:12:02,820
Oh, really? How you figure?
302
00:12:02,822 --> 00:12:05,790
I'm gonna run a tight ship.
Set some rules, some boundaries.
303
00:12:05,792 --> 00:12:07,492
If she breaks them,
then she faces the...
304
00:12:07,494 --> 00:12:10,595
Oh, what do you call it? Repercussions.
305
00:12:12,499 --> 00:12:14,899
Why you smiling?
306
00:12:14,901 --> 00:12:17,102
I just can't wait till you're a dad.
307
00:12:17,104 --> 00:12:18,905
Thank you.
308
00:12:20,140 --> 00:12:21,539
"Repercussions."
309
00:12:21,541 --> 00:12:23,241
It's a word. Look it up.
310
00:12:24,448 --> 00:12:25,726
Hurry!
311
00:12:25,729 --> 00:12:27,726
This is as fast as I
can go in sensible shoes.
312
00:12:30,417 --> 00:12:32,335
- You okay?
- No.
313
00:12:32,338 --> 00:12:33,789
- Oh, dear.
- What?
314
00:12:33,792 --> 00:12:36,087
I'm going to have the
mother of all blisters.
315
00:12:37,257 --> 00:12:39,820
- I'm worried about you.
- Thank you.
316
00:12:39,823 --> 00:12:41,192
Well, don't be.
317
00:12:41,194 --> 00:12:43,015
- I'm having fun.
- You're drunk
318
00:12:43,018 --> 00:12:45,185
and you were about to get in
the car with some stranger.
319
00:12:45,187 --> 00:12:48,065
- So? He was cute.
- What's wrong with you?
320
00:12:48,067 --> 00:12:50,335
You're smarter than Sheldon.
Why don't you act like it?
321
00:12:50,337 --> 00:12:52,337
- Um...
- I am.
322
00:12:52,339 --> 00:12:54,805
If that was true, then how come
my pizza's still in my stomach
323
00:12:54,807 --> 00:12:56,141
and yours is in the fountain?
324
00:12:57,604 --> 00:12:59,844
What good is being smart
if you're all alone?
325
00:12:59,846 --> 00:13:02,359
Let's go to Sheldon's so
I can get you cleaned up.
326
00:13:02,362 --> 00:13:04,352
Thanks.
327
00:13:04,355 --> 00:13:06,551
Just so you know, you're not alone.
328
00:13:06,553 --> 00:13:07,742
You've got me.
329
00:13:07,745 --> 00:13:09,654
I thought we were trying
to make her feel better.
330
00:13:11,224 --> 00:13:13,358
I'll tell you another idea I
have for keeping my kid in line.
331
00:13:13,360 --> 00:13:15,360
- Oh, can't wait.
- I seen this show where they put
332
00:13:15,362 --> 00:13:17,362
these electric trackers
on these dolphins.
333
00:13:17,364 --> 00:13:20,030
And with satellites, they can
tell exactly where they are.
334
00:13:20,032 --> 00:13:21,234
Dolphins?
335
00:13:21,237 --> 00:13:22,536
Go on.
336
00:13:22,539 --> 00:13:23,901
I'm gonna stick one of
them things in my kid
337
00:13:23,903 --> 00:13:25,236
so I always know where she is.
338
00:13:25,238 --> 00:13:26,971
So you're gonna keep
track of your daughter
339
00:13:26,973 --> 00:13:28,306
like she's an animal.
340
00:13:28,308 --> 00:13:29,842
Damn straight.
341
00:13:31,844 --> 00:13:33,880
Actually a really good idea.
342
00:13:35,981 --> 00:13:38,715
Missy's a good kid. I'm sure she's okay.
343
00:13:40,320 --> 00:13:41,719
I was a good kid.
344
00:13:41,721 --> 00:13:44,226
Didn't stop me from
getting into trouble.
345
00:13:44,229 --> 00:13:45,722
Me, too.
346
00:13:45,725 --> 00:13:48,593
One time, I was at this party and...
347
00:13:48,595 --> 00:13:50,261
Actually, never mind.
348
00:13:50,263 --> 00:13:53,015
The important thing is we survived.
349
00:13:53,018 --> 00:13:54,532
Yes, we did.
350
00:13:56,096 --> 00:13:58,636
You just want your children
to have an easier time of it.
351
00:13:58,638 --> 00:14:00,305
Easier.
352
00:14:00,307 --> 00:14:04,409
My baby's gonna have a broke
single mom and a teenage dad.
353
00:14:04,411 --> 00:14:06,143
Mm-hmm.
354
00:14:06,145 --> 00:14:07,978
Let me get you some more tea.
355
00:14:07,980 --> 00:14:09,714
Okay.
356
00:14:09,716 --> 00:14:11,982
- You know what else is nice?
- Hmm?
357
00:14:11,984 --> 00:14:14,619
I get to learn from all
your parenting mistakes.
358
00:14:14,621 --> 00:14:16,020
I'm starting to think
359
00:14:16,022 --> 00:14:17,855
letting you live this
long was one of 'em.
360
00:14:17,857 --> 00:14:21,025
Like that. I'd never say
something so awful to my kid.
361
00:14:22,362 --> 00:14:24,364
Thanks, big guy.
362
00:14:26,833 --> 00:14:28,633
You awake?
363
00:14:28,635 --> 00:14:30,737
Mm-hmm.
364
00:14:33,806 --> 00:14:35,773
I've been thinking.
365
00:14:35,775 --> 00:14:38,443
We don't have to spend
every night together.
366
00:14:38,445 --> 00:14:40,110
Wow.
367
00:14:40,112 --> 00:14:42,913
You're preaching to
the choir there, Connie.
368
00:14:42,915 --> 00:14:44,682
I've been lying awake here for an hour,
369
00:14:44,684 --> 00:14:46,817
wishing I were back home in my own bed.
370
00:14:46,819 --> 00:14:48,052
Really?
371
00:14:48,054 --> 00:14:49,920
Everything's the way I like it there.
372
00:14:49,922 --> 00:14:51,375
Got a TV in the bedroom
373
00:14:51,378 --> 00:14:53,732
and leave the seat up on the toilet.
374
00:14:53,735 --> 00:14:56,860
And thermostat's not
set to storing meat.
375
00:14:56,863 --> 00:14:58,863
I did turn the toilet paper around
376
00:14:58,865 --> 00:15:01,117
so it comes over the
top like you like it.
377
00:15:01,120 --> 00:15:02,467
Like the world likes it.
378
00:15:02,469 --> 00:15:04,802
Don't start on this again.
379
00:15:04,804 --> 00:15:06,704
Hee-hee.
380
00:15:06,706 --> 00:15:08,406
So, we got a plan?
381
00:15:08,408 --> 00:15:09,674
We got a plan.
382
00:15:09,676 --> 00:15:11,210
Mm.
383
00:15:14,947 --> 00:15:17,415
So I'll spend tomorrow
night at my place.
384
00:15:17,417 --> 00:15:18,549
Yep.
385
00:15:18,551 --> 00:15:20,320
Oh, thank God.
386
00:15:22,821 --> 00:15:24,220
Where you going?
387
00:15:24,223 --> 00:15:27,292
Think I might have to crank up the AC.
388
00:15:27,294 --> 00:15:29,093
'Cause I said "thank God"?
389
00:15:29,095 --> 00:15:31,063
No fooling you.
390
00:15:33,933 --> 00:15:35,366
Okay, she's asleep.
391
00:15:35,368 --> 00:15:38,004
I put a trash can by the
bed in case she gets sick.
392
00:15:38,007 --> 00:15:39,604
Where am I supposed to sleep?
393
00:15:39,606 --> 00:15:40,726
On the floor.
394
00:15:40,729 --> 00:15:42,029
Why can't she sleep on the floor?
395
00:15:42,031 --> 00:15:43,258
She doesn't even know where she is.
396
00:15:43,260 --> 00:15:44,343
I don't have time for this.
397
00:15:44,346 --> 00:15:46,590
I have to find Heather
before I lose my ride home.
398
00:15:46,593 --> 00:15:48,145
- Fine.
- But first,
399
00:15:48,147 --> 00:15:49,414
we have to get our story straight
400
00:15:49,416 --> 00:15:50,815
about where I was tonight.
401
00:15:50,817 --> 00:15:52,721
There's only one story,
and it's straight:
402
00:15:52,724 --> 00:15:53,723
you were here.
403
00:15:53,726 --> 00:15:55,853
No, I wasn't.
404
00:15:55,855 --> 00:15:58,122
I was at Heather's,
and you didn't see me.
405
00:15:58,124 --> 00:15:59,957
- Got it?
- First I have to sleep on the floor
406
00:15:59,959 --> 00:16:01,392
and now I have to lie for you?
407
00:16:01,394 --> 00:16:02,671
How 'bout this?
408
00:16:02,674 --> 00:16:04,795
Work with me, and I will
officially owe you one.
409
00:16:04,797 --> 00:16:05,996
One what?
410
00:16:05,998 --> 00:16:07,732
I don't know. One anything.
411
00:16:07,734 --> 00:16:09,334
"Anything" is awfully vague.
412
00:16:09,336 --> 00:16:11,268
- What say we draw up a contract or...
- Sheldon, you went
413
00:16:11,270 --> 00:16:13,404
to a frat party; now there's
a drunk girl in your bed.
414
00:16:13,406 --> 00:16:15,640
That's the coolest college
story you'll ever get to tell.
415
00:16:15,642 --> 00:16:16,741
So I can tell Mom.
416
00:16:16,743 --> 00:16:18,676
No. Someday.
417
00:16:18,678 --> 00:16:19,656
When?
418
00:16:19,659 --> 00:16:22,085
Someday when we're old
and we can laugh about it.
419
00:16:22,088 --> 00:16:23,488
I got to go.
420
00:16:24,893 --> 00:16:26,320
30 years later,
421
00:16:26,323 --> 00:16:28,289
still not laughing.
422
00:16:32,624 --> 00:16:34,123
What are you doing out here?
423
00:16:34,126 --> 00:16:35,826
It's the middle of the night.
424
00:16:35,828 --> 00:16:39,263
I can't sleep not knowing where she is.
425
00:16:39,265 --> 00:16:40,867
Yeah.
426
00:16:46,606 --> 00:16:48,673
So we're on the same page,
when she does show up,
427
00:16:48,675 --> 00:16:50,174
I'm gonna kill her.
428
00:16:50,176 --> 00:16:52,577
You're gonna have to beat me to it.
429
00:16:52,579 --> 00:16:54,411
Not saying I love her the most,
430
00:16:54,414 --> 00:16:56,914
but if anything happened to Missy...
431
00:16:56,916 --> 00:16:59,650
She is your little girl.
432
00:16:59,652 --> 00:17:01,151
Not so little anymore.
433
00:17:01,153 --> 00:17:02,356
Hmm.
434
00:17:02,359 --> 00:17:04,254
And I hate it.
435
00:17:04,256 --> 00:17:07,825
Well, pretty soon, you're
gonna have a granddaughter.
436
00:17:07,827 --> 00:17:09,460
Start all over again.
437
00:17:12,499 --> 00:17:15,065
You know, I had an idea.
438
00:17:15,067 --> 00:17:17,801
I'm gonna put a tracker on
her, like they do with dolphins.
439
00:17:17,803 --> 00:17:20,137
- You're making that up.
- No, it's true.
440
00:17:20,139 --> 00:17:22,172
Yeah, wherever she goes...
441
00:17:22,174 --> 00:17:24,218
Timbuktu, doesn't matter...
442
00:17:24,221 --> 00:17:25,254
We're there.
443
00:17:38,691 --> 00:17:40,625
I'm home!
444
00:17:42,695 --> 00:17:43,828
Hey.
445
00:17:43,830 --> 00:17:45,329
Hey to you.
446
00:17:45,331 --> 00:17:46,515
How was Heather's?
447
00:17:46,518 --> 00:17:47,796
Uh, fun.
448
00:17:47,799 --> 00:17:49,059
Pizza, movies...
449
00:17:49,062 --> 00:17:50,668
The usual.
450
00:17:50,670 --> 00:17:52,236
You look tired.
451
00:17:52,238 --> 00:17:54,539
I didn't sleep too well.
452
00:17:54,541 --> 00:17:56,607
Oh. Sorry.
453
00:17:56,609 --> 00:17:58,878
Well, I'm gonna go to my room.
454
00:17:59,879 --> 00:18:01,378
What happened to killing her?
455
00:18:01,380 --> 00:18:03,382
I'll get to it.
456
00:18:03,385 --> 00:18:05,687
Just so relieved she's okay.
457
00:18:08,755 --> 00:18:11,055
Okay, I'm good. Missy!
458
00:18:11,058 --> 00:18:12,825
Wait for me!
459
00:18:12,828 --> 00:18:17,304
- Synced and corrected by VitoSilans -
-- www.Addic7ed.com --
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