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1
00:00:03,600 --> 00:00:04,806
Charlie Bradbury.
2
00:00:04,960 --> 00:00:06,291
- Unh.
- Jeez!
3
00:00:06,480 --> 00:00:09,165
I erase the drive first,
then I go back to my old life?
4
00:00:09,360 --> 00:00:11,169
You don't have an old life anymore.
5
00:00:11,360 --> 00:00:13,727
Never contact me again. Like, ever.
6
00:00:13,880 --> 00:00:15,609
If you stay, I would be with you.
7
00:00:15,800 --> 00:00:18,201
But if you leave, don't come back.
8
00:00:18,360 --> 00:00:20,328
Whatever you decide...
9
00:00:20,920 --> 00:00:22,729
...decide.
10
00:00:24,240 --> 00:00:25,366
Listen, Benny...
11
00:00:25,520 --> 00:00:28,729
...everything you've done for me,
I will never forget.
12
00:00:28,920 --> 00:00:30,604
But, uh...
13
00:00:30,840 --> 00:00:32,126
End of the line?
14
00:00:32,320 --> 00:00:33,367
AdiĆ³s.
15
00:00:46,120 --> 00:00:48,282
How dare you?
16
00:00:48,480 --> 00:00:49,811
Lance.
17
00:00:49,960 --> 00:00:53,442
Yeah, that's right,
I'm talking to Lance, not...
18
00:00:53,600 --> 00:00:55,887
Oh, no, we both cut corners
to get close to her.
19
00:00:56,040 --> 00:00:57,804
But that wasn't cheating.
20
00:00:57,960 --> 00:00:59,291
Dude.
21
00:00:59,440 --> 00:01:02,125
It's just a game.
22
00:01:04,360 --> 00:01:06,522
It's just a game.
23
00:01:43,240 --> 00:01:46,289
Help!
24
00:01:46,440 --> 00:01:48,249
Help me!
25
00:02:03,440 --> 00:02:05,408
They say that the father's insane
26
00:02:06,440 --> 00:02:09,603
And dear Mrs. Perkin's a game
27
00:02:10,920 --> 00:02:12,160
We're talkin' 'bout...
28
00:02:12,360 --> 00:02:14,203
You okay, man?
29
00:02:16,920 --> 00:02:19,764
We have the most powerful weapon
we've had against demons...
30
00:02:19,920 --> 00:02:22,207
...and we can't find a way to use it.
31
00:02:22,360 --> 00:02:26,126
Yeah, well, Kevin's on it,
and when he finds something, he'll call.
32
00:02:26,280 --> 00:02:28,123
So we wait.
33
00:02:30,960 --> 00:02:36,091
Look, we have both had a rough go
over these past couple of weeks...
34
00:02:37,120 --> 00:02:39,361
...and I know what you gave up
wasn't easy.
35
00:02:41,120 --> 00:02:42,963
Maybe we ought to take the night off.
36
00:02:43,480 --> 00:02:46,051
Go see a flick. Hit a bar. Or two.
37
00:02:46,560 --> 00:02:48,085
Have some fun.
38
00:02:48,240 --> 00:02:50,686
You remember fun, don't you, Sammy?
39
00:02:58,520 --> 00:03:00,284
Kevin, what do you got?
40
00:03:00,480 --> 00:03:02,482
Garth, hey.
41
00:03:03,280 --> 00:03:05,681
Really? Okay. Yeah.
42
00:03:05,840 --> 00:03:09,526
Thanks, man. Oh, hey. Hey, Garth.
Garth, you there?
43
00:03:09,800 --> 00:03:12,531
How did you know where we are?
44
00:03:13,280 --> 00:03:15,567
Look, it's bad enough
that you're tracking us...
45
00:03:15,720 --> 00:03:19,850
...but it's even worse
when you say we've been Garthed.
46
00:03:20,000 --> 00:03:21,923
Ahem. Yeah.
47
00:03:22,120 --> 00:03:24,248
Okay. We gotta lose the GPS
on our phones...
48
00:03:24,400 --> 00:03:27,768
...because Garth has been tracking us
and other hunters, apparently...
49
00:03:27,920 --> 00:03:29,445
...to assign cases.
50
00:03:29,640 --> 00:03:31,005
I mean, that's smart.
51
00:03:31,160 --> 00:03:32,605
A total Bobby move.
52
00:03:33,080 --> 00:03:34,844
What's the deal?
53
00:03:35,360 --> 00:03:38,250
Uh, well, it's close.
Farmington Hills, Michigan.
54
00:03:38,440 --> 00:03:41,284
Dude got ripped limb from limb
inside his locked apartment.
55
00:03:41,440 --> 00:03:43,124
That's not good.
56
00:03:43,320 --> 00:03:44,731
Working a case.
57
00:03:44,880 --> 00:03:48,282
As long as we're waiting on Kevin,
that'll be our fun.
58
00:03:56,120 --> 00:04:00,409
Sheriff, Special Agent Taggart.
This is my partner, Special Agent Rosewood.
59
00:04:00,560 --> 00:04:04,565
FBI? You guys are quick.
Haven't even got the body out yet.
60
00:04:04,760 --> 00:04:07,604
Well, the FBI is all work, no play.
61
00:04:07,760 --> 00:04:10,127
Give me the tour
while my partner looks around.
62
00:04:10,280 --> 00:04:11,691
I work better on my own.
63
00:04:12,720 --> 00:04:15,690
Your world, agent. Follow me.
64
00:04:23,360 --> 00:04:26,330
Vic's name was Ed Nelson,
31 years old.
65
00:04:26,480 --> 00:04:28,448
An insurance claim adjuster.
66
00:04:28,600 --> 00:04:33,561
He lived alone, which is a real shocker
considering his place is full of toys.
67
00:04:35,640 --> 00:04:38,405
- So, what happened?
- No sign of forced entry.
68
00:04:38,560 --> 00:04:42,360
Near as we can tell,
he was tied up and pulled apart.
69
00:04:42,880 --> 00:04:46,965
Died of the shock or massive blood loss.
Dealer's choice on that one.
70
00:04:47,120 --> 00:04:50,249
- So, what about these chains?
- That's actually chain mail.
71
00:04:50,400 --> 00:04:52,528
- Seriously'?
- Heh.
72
00:04:52,680 --> 00:04:57,163
We did find clear rope-burn marks
on his wrists and ankles.
73
00:05:05,360 --> 00:05:06,600
Huh.
74
00:05:08,240 --> 00:05:13,280
So anything missing from the body?
75
00:05:14,000 --> 00:05:15,809
You mean aside from the arms and legs?
76
00:05:18,040 --> 00:05:22,125
Uh... Nope. All there.
Twig and berries too.
77
00:05:22,280 --> 00:05:24,362
What about the neighbors?
They hear anything weird?
78
00:05:24,520 --> 00:05:28,320
Ah, neighbor downstairs got woke up
in the middle of the night...
79
00:05:28,480 --> 00:05:31,529
...by the sound of horses
stomping their feet and galloping.
80
00:05:32,560 --> 00:05:35,166
We didn't find any hoof prints.
81
00:05:35,320 --> 00:05:37,209
She probably heard a TV...
82
00:05:37,360 --> 00:05:40,364
...or was having a bad dream,
or she was high as balls.
83
00:05:40,920 --> 00:05:44,686
Fortunately, we got a real lead
off his cell phone.
84
00:05:44,840 --> 00:05:46,569
According to the phone records...
85
00:05:46,720 --> 00:05:50,566
...Ed's last call was from a guy
called Lance Jacobsen.
86
00:05:51,160 --> 00:05:55,768
An accountant.
Also 30s, also lives alone.
87
00:05:55,920 --> 00:05:57,126
How's he a lead?
88
00:05:57,280 --> 00:05:59,647
The two of them talked together
for 15 minutes...
89
00:05:59,800 --> 00:06:03,691
...and then Lance sent Ed here
all kinds of angry texts.
90
00:06:03,880 --> 00:06:07,965
Some of them were your typical threat
stuff, but some were a little weird.
91
00:06:08,480 --> 00:06:09,561
Weird how?
92
00:06:09,760 --> 00:06:14,607
Like, uh, "You shall bleed
for your crimes against us."
93
00:06:14,760 --> 00:06:16,922
Followed by the emoticon of a skull.
94
00:06:17,600 --> 00:06:22,811
And this beauty:
"I am a mage. I will destroy you."
95
00:06:22,960 --> 00:06:27,807
These kids today
with their texting and murder. Tsk.
96
00:06:27,960 --> 00:06:30,804
My men just brought Lance
into the station for questioning.
97
00:06:31,480 --> 00:06:33,528
We need to take first crack
at the suspect.
98
00:06:33,680 --> 00:06:36,445
Like I said, agent, it's your world.
99
00:06:41,960 --> 00:06:44,008
Lance Jacobsen?
100
00:06:44,200 --> 00:06:46,123
We're with the FBI.
101
00:06:46,280 --> 00:06:47,884
The FBI?
102
00:06:48,040 --> 00:06:50,850
I can't believe this is happening.
103
00:06:51,320 --> 00:06:53,721
I can't believe Ed's dead.
104
00:06:56,360 --> 00:06:59,250
Lance. Lance. Just breathe.
105
00:06:59,800 --> 00:07:02,201
Just breathe. You're fine.
106
00:07:02,920 --> 00:07:05,890
We just need to ask you a few questions.
Try to calm down.
107
00:07:07,080 --> 00:07:09,811
We wanna know about the texts...
108
00:07:09,960 --> 00:07:12,691
- ...you sent Ed last night.
- I told them.
109
00:07:12,840 --> 00:07:15,969
- Those texts weren't from me.
- Your phone and Ed's say otherwise.
110
00:07:16,160 --> 00:07:19,084
No, I mean, they were from me,
but they weren't from "me" me.
111
00:07:22,400 --> 00:07:25,006
Did you really think that sentence
was gonna clear things up?
112
00:07:26,640 --> 00:07:29,644
I'm sorry.
This is all a big misunderstanding.
113
00:07:30,160 --> 00:07:33,084
Those text messages
were from Greyfox the Mystic...
114
00:07:33,240 --> 00:07:34,844
...to Thargrim the Difficult.
115
00:07:37,240 --> 00:07:38,685
Our characters in Moondoor.
116
00:07:40,240 --> 00:07:43,562
Moondoor is a game that Ed and I play.
We're LARPers.
117
00:07:43,760 --> 00:07:45,000
Live-action role playing.
118
00:07:45,760 --> 00:07:49,082
Right. LARPing. Good times.
119
00:07:49,280 --> 00:07:53,285
We play Moondoor at Heritage Park.
All the info about it is on our website.
120
00:07:54,000 --> 00:07:56,685
- You have a website?
- One of the players designed it.
121
00:07:56,840 --> 00:08:00,526
In fact, they should have posted pictures
from last night's feast.
122
00:08:00,680 --> 00:08:01,761
I was there all night.
123
00:08:01,920 --> 00:08:04,810
What does any of this
have to do with the texts?
124
00:08:05,280 --> 00:08:07,647
I play a character
named Greyfox the Mystic.
125
00:08:07,840 --> 00:08:11,287
I'm a very, very powerful mage
in the game.
126
00:08:15,080 --> 00:08:18,050
Okay. Uh, very powerful. Go on.
127
00:08:18,200 --> 00:08:19,565
Ed is...
128
00:08:20,840 --> 00:08:25,482
Ed was Thargrim the Difficult
of the Elder Forest...
129
00:08:25,640 --> 00:08:28,610
...son of Hargrim and Bouphin,
brother to...
130
00:08:32,600 --> 00:08:34,728
He was Lancelot to my Merlin.
131
00:08:35,480 --> 00:08:36,766
Ah.
132
00:08:36,920 --> 00:08:39,605
If you were so tight,
then why the threatening messages?
133
00:08:39,800 --> 00:08:41,802
We were named
to the Queen's Honor Guard...
134
00:08:41,960 --> 00:08:45,123
...in anticipation of the coming
Battle of Kingdoms this weekend.
135
00:08:45,320 --> 00:08:48,164
I thought he broke protocol.
I called Ed after game hours...
136
00:08:48,320 --> 00:08:49,845
...and accused him of cheating.
137
00:08:50,000 --> 00:08:52,367
- And then I challenged him to a duel.
- A duel?
138
00:08:52,520 --> 00:08:54,204
Wands and swords at dawn.
139
00:08:56,040 --> 00:09:00,284
Ahem. Now, when you say wands,
do you mean magic wands?
140
00:09:00,440 --> 00:09:03,284
No, unmagic wands, agent.
141
00:09:03,440 --> 00:09:06,683
Because what I really want in a duel
is an unmagic wand.
142
00:09:08,560 --> 00:09:11,723
Yes, fake wands. It's a game.
143
00:09:12,840 --> 00:09:14,569
I can't believe it.
144
00:09:14,720 --> 00:09:16,449
Oh, ye gods.
145
00:09:17,400 --> 00:09:20,131
Thargrim the Difficult has fallen.
146
00:09:24,200 --> 00:09:25,531
Look, Lance, it's...
147
00:09:26,240 --> 00:09:28,402
Hang in there, champ.
148
00:09:32,720 --> 00:09:36,805
So? You believe Dungeons & Dragons?
149
00:09:36,960 --> 00:09:40,089
He didn't put a whammy on us.
Those weren't crocodile tears, man.
150
00:09:40,240 --> 00:09:42,402
- That's not our guy.
- What are we looking at?
151
00:09:42,600 --> 00:09:43,726
You saw the chain mail.
152
00:09:43,880 --> 00:09:47,089
This could be Fifty Shades of Greyfox
for all we know.
153
00:09:47,240 --> 00:09:51,643
All right, let's check out the Moondoor
site, see if Lance's story checks out.
154
00:09:59,960 --> 00:10:03,089
"Welcome to Moondoor,
Michigan's largest LARPing game."
155
00:10:03,240 --> 00:10:06,005
- And I thought we needed to get out more.
- Heh.
156
00:10:08,000 --> 00:10:09,365
Hmm.
157
00:10:10,520 --> 00:10:12,409
There's our guy.
158
00:10:12,920 --> 00:10:14,206
Huh.
159
00:10:14,360 --> 00:10:16,601
Actually looks kind of awesome.
160
00:10:18,400 --> 00:10:19,925
All right. There's a video.
161
00:10:20,080 --> 00:10:25,007
Moondoor,
a world of intrigue, honor and passion.
162
00:10:27,320 --> 00:10:28,970
Four kingdoms:
163
00:10:29,120 --> 00:10:30,963
the Followers of the Moon...
164
00:10:31,120 --> 00:10:32,201
...Elves...
165
00:10:32,440 --> 00:10:34,442
Warriors of Yesteryear...
166
00:10:34,600 --> 00:10:36,170
...and the dreaded Shadow Orcs.
167
00:10:36,360 --> 00:10:41,161
All will fight on the Fields of Never
in the biannual Battle of Kingdoms.
168
00:10:41,320 --> 00:10:45,769
Pick up a sword or a mace
and take control of Moondoor...
169
00:10:45,920 --> 00:10:48,571
- ...or defend the current ruler...
- Wait, is that...?
170
00:10:48,720 --> 00:10:51,769
...The Queen of Moons.
171
00:11:05,960 --> 00:11:07,962
The hell?
172
00:11:34,760 --> 00:11:37,206
You're gonna wanna see this.
173
00:11:56,640 --> 00:11:58,369
God forbid he was contagious.
174
00:11:58,520 --> 00:12:00,887
I'm gonna go dip myself
in hand sanitizer.
175
00:12:03,920 --> 00:12:08,562
No EMF, no hex bags, no sulfur.
I got nada. You?
176
00:12:08,720 --> 00:12:10,688
Watch the video again.
177
00:12:11,360 --> 00:12:12,850
There. See that?
178
00:12:14,200 --> 00:12:16,248
Same as Ed's. I don't know.
179
00:12:16,400 --> 00:12:20,200
Maybe they had matching tattoos.
I mean, they were brothers-in-arms.
180
00:12:20,360 --> 00:12:23,045
- You recognize it from anything?
- A Tim Burton movie?
181
00:12:23,520 --> 00:12:25,568
Aside from the mark of the creepy here...
182
00:12:25,760 --> 00:12:28,764
...the only thing these guys have
in common is LARPing.
183
00:12:28,920 --> 00:12:30,684
Lucky for us, we know the queen.
184
00:12:50,680 --> 00:12:53,445
I, Boltar the Furious,
bind you to this stock...
185
00:12:53,600 --> 00:12:57,491
...so that all of Moondoor may see you
for what you are, a thief.
186
00:12:57,640 --> 00:13:01,725
My Shadow Orc brethren will descend
from the Black Hills and the tents of...
187
00:13:03,360 --> 00:13:05,806
Uh, hold.
188
00:13:09,080 --> 00:13:11,447
- Thanks, Gerry. Sorry.
- Yeah, no problem, Monty.
189
00:13:17,200 --> 00:13:18,440
Resume.
190
00:13:18,600 --> 00:13:22,764
And the tents will be bathed in blood
as we unseat the Queen of the Moons...
191
00:13:22,920 --> 00:13:26,925
...from the throne she stole from the
rightful heir, the Shadow King, and you...
192
00:13:27,080 --> 00:13:30,323
Silentium.
Serve your time with honor, heathen.
193
00:13:30,840 --> 00:13:35,448
And if you need to use the chamber pot,
stomp your feet thrice.
194
00:13:35,600 --> 00:13:38,843
Excuse me. Hi.
You are a LARPer, yeah?
195
00:13:39,040 --> 00:13:41,327
I prefer the term
"interactive literaturist."
196
00:13:41,480 --> 00:13:45,849
Right. I'm Special Agent Rosewood.
This is Special Agent Taggart.
197
00:13:46,000 --> 00:13:47,126
- We just want...
- Hold.
198
00:13:48,440 --> 00:13:50,329
We're not doing the genre mash-up thing.
199
00:13:50,480 --> 00:13:52,209
We only do that every third month.
200
00:13:52,360 --> 00:13:53,691
- The...
- Come again?
201
00:13:54,360 --> 00:13:57,364
Your fake badges, the cheap suits.
It's very cool. I get it.
202
00:13:57,560 --> 00:14:00,245
Your characters are FBI agents
that traveled to Moondoor.
203
00:14:00,440 --> 00:14:02,522
But it's straight-up Moondoor
this weekend.
204
00:14:02,680 --> 00:14:03,727
These aren't fake badges.
205
00:14:03,880 --> 00:14:07,043
Uh, yeah, they are, and
they're very good...
206
00:14:07,240 --> 00:14:10,403
...but, well, the ID numbers shifted
to 10 digits...
207
00:14:10,560 --> 00:14:12,767
...with two letters at the end of the year.
208
00:14:12,920 --> 00:14:15,685
And that seal is from last month.
Really good work.
209
00:14:15,840 --> 00:14:18,446
It's just it's a tournament weekend,
okay, guys?
210
00:14:18,640 --> 00:14:22,167
So you gotta follow the rules.
If there's no rules, chaos.
211
00:14:23,480 --> 00:14:27,565
Ahem. Resume. If you would like
to join the army of Moons...
212
00:14:27,760 --> 00:14:29,922
...the queen is on the lookout for squires.
213
00:14:30,080 --> 00:14:33,971
Yes. Right. We would like
to see your queen. Now, please.
214
00:14:34,160 --> 00:14:36,162
The queen's calendar is booked up
in advance.
215
00:14:36,320 --> 00:14:39,529
But if you wish to witness
what's in store for you in her army...
216
00:14:39,680 --> 00:14:43,241
...Her Highness is overseeing
new squires on the pitch as we speak.
217
00:14:57,280 --> 00:14:58,691
Yield! I yield!
218
00:15:06,080 --> 00:15:08,606
- I love you.
- I know.
219
00:15:08,800 --> 00:15:12,930
Take your leave to my medical tent
and attend to your severed limbs.
220
00:15:15,360 --> 00:15:17,203
Greyfox and Thargrim are missing.
221
00:15:17,960 --> 00:15:21,442
We pray to the goddess
they have not fallen victim of foul play.
222
00:15:21,600 --> 00:15:24,763
In their absence,
the Honor Guard's ranks are weakened.
223
00:15:24,920 --> 00:15:26,046
To join...
224
00:15:29,200 --> 00:15:30,406
Oh, blerg.
225
00:15:32,200 --> 00:15:33,690
Uh...
226
00:15:34,720 --> 00:15:36,848
The queen needs some royal we time.
227
00:15:37,520 --> 00:15:38,646
Talk amongst thyselves.
228
00:15:44,720 --> 00:15:46,609
Ahem. Nice balance.
229
00:15:47,960 --> 00:15:50,122
- Dude.
- Yeah.
230
00:15:52,760 --> 00:15:53,886
Charlie?
231
00:15:54,040 --> 00:15:55,849
Charlie Bradbury is dead.
232
00:15:56,000 --> 00:15:58,287
She died a year ago. You killed her.
233
00:15:58,440 --> 00:16:01,125
My name is Carrie Heinlein.
234
00:16:01,280 --> 00:16:03,089
Oh, and guess what.
235
00:16:03,240 --> 00:16:04,446
Now you killed her too.
236
00:16:04,600 --> 00:16:07,683
- Okay. Listen...
- No, I buried myself.
237
00:16:07,840 --> 00:16:10,286
Dick Roman went down,
his company belly up...
238
00:16:10,440 --> 00:16:12,761
...and I figured, hey, it's all good.
239
00:16:12,920 --> 00:16:15,764
And I was fine. I got my life back.
240
00:16:16,680 --> 00:16:19,684
Now you're here. And if you guys are here,
monsters are here.
241
00:16:21,480 --> 00:16:22,811
Why do I have such bad luck?
242
00:16:23,000 --> 00:16:25,810
What am I?
Some kind of monster magnet?
243
00:16:26,520 --> 00:16:29,091
Is there such a thing
as a monster magnet?
244
00:16:29,280 --> 00:16:32,124
You know what? Don't answer that.
I don't care.
245
00:16:32,280 --> 00:16:36,683
What I care about is not getting
my other arm broken. Or dying.
246
00:16:37,200 --> 00:16:40,966
So I'm dropping my sword
and walking off the stage, bitches.
247
00:16:41,440 --> 00:16:42,930
Have fun storming the castle.
248
00:16:43,080 --> 00:16:44,923
Charlie. Charlie.
249
00:16:47,560 --> 00:16:50,848
Greyfox and Thargrim? Ed and Lance.
250
00:16:51,000 --> 00:16:52,365
They're not missing.
251
00:16:53,000 --> 00:16:54,047
They're dead.
252
00:16:57,880 --> 00:17:00,486
Drawn and quartered and bleeding out?
253
00:17:00,640 --> 00:17:02,290
Please stop talking again.
254
00:17:02,440 --> 00:17:05,205
So, what do you think did this?
255
00:17:05,360 --> 00:17:08,045
Well, aside from the mark
and them both being LARPers...
256
00:17:08,200 --> 00:17:09,964
...there's not much else to go on.
257
00:17:10,120 --> 00:17:13,442
Wait, I've seen this before.
It's a Celtic magic symbol.
258
00:17:14,520 --> 00:17:18,002
At least it was in my favorite video game.
Does that help? Can I go now?
259
00:17:18,160 --> 00:17:20,447
It's a start. But no. Um...
260
00:17:20,640 --> 00:17:23,211
Listen, what can you tell us
about Ed and Lance?
261
00:17:24,400 --> 00:17:28,405
Good guys. Two of the best members
of the queen's ever-shrinking army.
262
00:17:28,560 --> 00:17:29,925
Ever-shrinking?
263
00:17:30,080 --> 00:17:32,686
My kingdom has had a lot
of bad luck lately.
264
00:17:32,840 --> 00:17:37,926
Probably because of me,
but maybe it's tied to this.
265
00:17:38,360 --> 00:17:41,250
A month ago, one of my guys
had both her ankles broken before a battle.
266
00:17:41,400 --> 00:17:45,450
Before that, I had three people
have hospital-worthy accidents at home.
267
00:17:45,600 --> 00:17:47,841
You think there's any connection there?
268
00:17:48,400 --> 00:17:50,243
They have any enemies in common?
269
00:17:50,400 --> 00:17:53,006
In real life? No.
Everyone gets along famously.
270
00:17:53,160 --> 00:17:56,369
In the game, though?
They had tons of enemies.
271
00:17:56,520 --> 00:17:59,126
Red reps the Followers of the Moon,
my peeps.
272
00:17:59,280 --> 00:18:01,851
Green's for Elves.
Blue's for Warriors of Yesteryear.
273
00:18:02,000 --> 00:18:05,004
And black's for Shadow Orcs.
Total D-bags.
274
00:18:05,600 --> 00:18:09,241
This weekend is the Battle of Kingdoms,
to see who wears the Forever Crown.
275
00:18:09,440 --> 00:18:14,321
This weekend, each faction
is definitely an enemy of me and mine.
276
00:18:15,720 --> 00:18:17,529
You know, if you move your archers back...
277
00:18:17,680 --> 00:18:20,490
- ...and broad swordsmen to the west...
- Oh. Flank the warriors.
278
00:18:20,640 --> 00:18:22,005
- Yep. Thanks.
- Good call.
279
00:18:22,200 --> 00:18:23,440
- The southern wall?
- Guys.
280
00:18:23,600 --> 00:18:25,807
Yeah. Right. Sorry.
281
00:18:25,960 --> 00:18:29,043
So maybe someone from one
of the other kingdoms...
282
00:18:29,200 --> 00:18:32,010
...got ahold of real magic
and started using it.
283
00:18:32,160 --> 00:18:35,403
But why not just come after me?
And why the escalation?
284
00:18:35,560 --> 00:18:37,927
All right.
We will canvass the kingdoms.
285
00:18:38,080 --> 00:18:40,606
- Get out of here. We don't want you hurt.
- Wait.
286
00:18:40,800 --> 00:18:42,848
Charlie knows Moondoor better.
We need her.
287
00:18:43,000 --> 00:18:45,731
Sam, we can take care of accountants
with foam swords.
288
00:18:45,920 --> 00:18:47,888
We need help, Dean. People are dying.
289
00:18:48,040 --> 00:18:51,601
My point is, she should get somewhere
safe and get back to a normal life.
290
00:18:51,760 --> 00:18:54,923
- Hey. I am right here and I want to leave.
- Thank you.
291
00:18:57,280 --> 00:18:59,248
But the queen?
292
00:18:59,800 --> 00:19:00,926
She has to stay.
293
00:19:01,080 --> 00:19:04,129
Sam is right. People are dying.
That can't happen on my watch.
294
00:19:04,280 --> 00:19:07,284
And you know what?
I am tired of running.
295
00:19:08,720 --> 00:19:09,960
I like my life here.
296
00:19:11,520 --> 00:19:13,090
I'm gonna stay and fight for it.
297
00:19:20,760 --> 00:19:22,205
Yeah?
298
00:19:22,440 --> 00:19:24,044
Okay.
299
00:19:24,200 --> 00:19:25,326
Thanks.
300
00:19:25,480 --> 00:19:28,882
So the toxicology report came back
on Lance. Nothing.
301
00:19:29,040 --> 00:19:32,169
But the medical examiner
said his body showed clear signs...
302
00:19:32,320 --> 00:19:34,163
...that he was killed by belladonna.
303
00:19:34,320 --> 00:19:36,322
The porn star?
304
00:19:39,480 --> 00:19:40,970
The poison.
305
00:19:41,120 --> 00:19:42,451
Oh.
306
00:19:43,800 --> 00:19:47,691
Um, however, they couldn't find
a trace of it in his system.
307
00:19:47,840 --> 00:19:51,049
Just like they couldn't find ropes
in Ed's apartment.
308
00:19:51,200 --> 00:19:53,328
Charlie, I'm gonna need
to borrow your laptop.
309
00:19:54,040 --> 00:19:55,963
There are no laptops in Moondoor.
310
00:19:56,120 --> 00:20:00,045
What? There are rules.
But there is a tech tent four tents down.
311
00:20:00,560 --> 00:20:02,642
Okay. How about you guys go canvass...
312
00:20:02,840 --> 00:20:07,687
...and I'll dig into these accidents
and this mark?
313
00:20:08,840 --> 00:20:11,844
Okay, I'm gonna need the full wiki
on where you guys have been.
314
00:20:12,000 --> 00:20:14,810
But first, you're gonna
have to ditch the suit...
315
00:20:15,000 --> 00:20:17,401
...if you're gonna walk and talk
with the queen.
316
00:20:37,040 --> 00:20:40,203
Excuse me, do you know
if there's a directory of online players?
317
00:20:40,360 --> 00:20:44,206
Yeah, it's on the website.
All you need is an account to access it.
318
00:20:44,360 --> 00:20:47,489
- Uh, thanks. Uh...?
- Maria.
319
00:20:47,680 --> 00:20:52,129
I mean, Gholandria the Wicked.
320
00:21:00,240 --> 00:21:03,881
You sent Sam a phantom text
from his ex?
321
00:21:04,040 --> 00:21:07,362
- Dick move, sir.
- Yeah. Not my finest hour.
322
00:21:08,440 --> 00:21:10,966
So he found some normalcy
with this chick...
323
00:21:11,160 --> 00:21:14,562
...and now it's gone. Again.
Thanks to you.
324
00:21:15,960 --> 00:21:19,760
Yeah, well, now he's more committed
than ever, so there's that.
325
00:21:20,640 --> 00:21:24,565
But, trust me, this life,
you can't afford attachments.
326
00:21:25,760 --> 00:21:28,650
You just gotta let go.
327
00:21:29,240 --> 00:21:32,608
Are we still talking about Sam,
or did you break up with someone too?
328
00:21:33,080 --> 00:21:34,605
- Me?
- Yeah.
329
00:21:35,280 --> 00:21:36,770
No.
330
00:21:40,600 --> 00:21:42,648
Your Majesty.
331
00:21:43,960 --> 00:21:45,405
You always been into LARPing?
332
00:21:45,600 --> 00:21:48,365
No. For role-play, I prefer a tabletop.
333
00:21:48,840 --> 00:21:51,650
D&D, Gamma World, Car Wars.
334
00:21:51,800 --> 00:21:54,610
That's why Cthulhu
invented multisided dice, right?
335
00:21:54,760 --> 00:21:56,524
But a buddy of mine
was into LARPing.
336
00:21:56,680 --> 00:21:59,286
Went for him, stayed for the chicks.
337
00:22:01,120 --> 00:22:02,849
It's not just that, though.
338
00:22:03,000 --> 00:22:04,331
It's an escape.
339
00:22:04,480 --> 00:22:07,723
I mean, here I'm queen, a hero.
340
00:22:07,880 --> 00:22:11,202
In the real world, I'm hacking out code
and chugging coffee all day.
341
00:22:11,360 --> 00:22:13,681
- Now, wait a second.
- Your Majesty.
342
00:22:13,840 --> 00:22:18,289
If it wasn't for you, we would've never
been able to take down Dick. Out there...
343
00:22:19,000 --> 00:22:20,206
...you are a hero.
344
00:22:24,320 --> 00:22:27,369
Noticing a lot of these maidens
checking you out.
345
00:22:27,520 --> 00:22:30,364
What? I can't shut this down.
346
00:22:30,640 --> 00:22:32,642
It's good to be queen.
347
00:22:43,520 --> 00:22:45,249
It's all just pad of the game.
348
00:22:46,080 --> 00:22:49,482
Genre mash-up. Cool.
349
00:22:50,160 --> 00:22:51,889
Hey, I know her. That's Phyllis.
350
00:22:52,480 --> 00:22:54,482
Heard she broke her ankles
or something.
351
00:22:56,920 --> 00:22:58,729
- Wow, looks like she got...
- Hobbled.
352
00:23:01,080 --> 00:23:02,445
Oh, and that's Jamie.
353
00:23:02,600 --> 00:23:05,604
He said someone broke into his house,
beat him with his mace...
354
00:23:05,760 --> 00:23:07,171
No signs of a forced entry.
355
00:23:08,720 --> 00:23:13,248
Do you recognize this from Moondoor?
I think it's Celtic.
356
00:23:13,400 --> 00:23:16,609
- No. Sorry. But I'll look it up.
- Thanks.
357
00:23:17,840 --> 00:23:20,889
I haven't seen anything like it
in my travels, Your Highness.
358
00:23:21,480 --> 00:23:24,529
All right.
Well, if you think of anything...
359
00:23:25,080 --> 00:23:26,411
...come see me in my tent.
360
00:23:27,960 --> 00:23:29,564
Anytime.
361
00:23:35,880 --> 00:23:38,770
Scratch the Elves off the list.
362
00:23:38,920 --> 00:23:41,571
Mace attacks. Hobbling.
Medieval poisoning.
363
00:23:41,720 --> 00:23:43,609
Somebody's targeting the queen's people.
364
00:23:43,760 --> 00:23:44,886
No. Not only them.
365
00:23:45,040 --> 00:23:47,441
See, those four are with the queen.
366
00:23:47,600 --> 00:23:49,090
But these two? They're Elves.
367
00:23:49,280 --> 00:23:52,523
And these two are Warriors.
Only group not to get hit...
368
00:23:52,720 --> 00:23:55,769
The Shadow Orcs. Last group on the list.
Impossible to find.
369
00:23:55,920 --> 00:23:57,922
Wait, I know one.
I met him on the way in.
370
00:23:58,120 --> 00:24:01,408
Perfect. Maybe he can tell us
what the frak this thing is.
371
00:24:01,560 --> 00:24:06,009
It's, uh, the Tree of Pain. Uh...
372
00:24:06,160 --> 00:24:10,643
If you are tagged with this mark,
you will be a victim of fairy magic.
373
00:24:10,840 --> 00:24:13,241
Wait. Fairy magic can be bad?
374
00:24:13,400 --> 00:24:15,004
Death to the queen!
375
00:24:15,160 --> 00:24:17,162
Death to the usurper!
376
00:24:17,320 --> 00:24:18,970
Death to her manservant!
377
00:24:21,160 --> 00:24:22,650
What?
378
00:24:22,800 --> 00:24:26,600
Well, there's no laptops in Moondoor.
There's no Geneva convention either.
379
00:24:26,760 --> 00:24:27,841
Hey.
380
00:24:28,760 --> 00:24:30,444
Have you seen this?
381
00:24:30,600 --> 00:24:31,840
Yeah, of course.
382
00:24:32,000 --> 00:24:33,411
No. No, I haven't seen it.
383
00:24:36,440 --> 00:24:40,525
It's the Shadow King's family crest.
You'll never find him in the Black Hills.
384
00:24:40,680 --> 00:24:41,886
The Black Hills?
385
00:24:42,080 --> 00:24:44,811
The forest behind the playground.
Come on.
386
00:24:50,480 --> 00:24:52,528
All right.
Thank you very much, Gholandria.
387
00:24:52,680 --> 00:24:54,364
Anytime.
388
00:24:54,520 --> 00:24:58,047
I've never done genre mash-up play
before. That was fun.
389
00:24:59,120 --> 00:25:01,361
First time for everything, right?
390
00:25:01,600 --> 00:25:05,286
First time for a lot of things
if you wanna come find my tent later.
391
00:25:05,480 --> 00:25:06,811
Uh...
392
00:25:08,080 --> 00:25:09,411
Another time.
393
00:25:13,120 --> 00:25:14,451
Your loss.
394
00:25:15,560 --> 00:25:18,643
My queen. There you are.
I've been searching everywhere for you.
395
00:25:18,800 --> 00:25:22,566
Has this oaf attempted to harm you
with his blasphemous metalworks?
396
00:25:22,720 --> 00:25:25,087
Boltar, he's with me. This is my new...
397
00:25:26,200 --> 00:25:28,407
...handmaiden.
398
00:25:30,360 --> 00:25:32,727
We seek an audience
with the Shadow King.
399
00:25:32,920 --> 00:25:36,925
Oh. These hills are not safe. I beseech
you, my queen, you should return to camp.
400
00:25:37,080 --> 00:25:40,004
He's right, Your Worshipfulness.
401
00:25:40,160 --> 00:25:42,970
Uh, may I have a moment
before you take your leavings?
402
00:25:43,120 --> 00:25:44,167
Mm.
403
00:25:46,240 --> 00:25:48,527
- Handmaiden?
- He was suspicious. I panicked.
404
00:25:48,680 --> 00:25:51,365
All right. Look, you take my phone,
find Sam.
405
00:25:51,520 --> 00:25:52,851
We'll find the Shadow Dorks.
406
00:25:53,000 --> 00:25:55,970
- But I can help.
- You are helping, by finding Sam. Go.
407
00:26:01,000 --> 00:26:02,729
Lead the way to the Orcs, Bolty.
408
00:26:02,880 --> 00:26:05,042
Speak when spoken to, handmaiden.
409
00:26:48,360 --> 00:26:49,691
- Unh!
- Dark magic.
410
00:26:49,840 --> 00:26:55,449
Aah! My eyes! The stinging of
your attack burns my very soul.
411
00:27:08,400 --> 00:27:09,925
Dark magic?
412
00:27:19,400 --> 00:27:22,643
Well, that was a bust. You sure the
Shadow Orcs are even out there?
413
00:27:22,800 --> 00:27:25,644
Hey, for a handmaiden,
you certainly ask many questions.
414
00:27:25,800 --> 00:27:29,327
Yes, I am positive. They're just
very good at hiding themselves.
415
00:27:29,480 --> 00:27:33,201
But a plan has sprung to mind
that will draw the Shadow King to us.
416
00:27:33,360 --> 00:27:36,364
We shall take the Shadow Orc,
offer him as a prisoner exchange.
417
00:27:36,520 --> 00:27:38,204
Draw them out and beat them down.
418
00:27:38,360 --> 00:27:40,840
- I like your style.
- I shall retrieve the prisoner.
419
00:27:41,000 --> 00:27:44,846
You tend to the queen's laundry and
chamber pots, then meet me back here.
420
00:27:47,240 --> 00:27:48,765
Nice outfit. Ahem.
421
00:27:48,920 --> 00:27:50,649
You love it.
422
00:27:51,240 --> 00:27:55,086
Right. Well, while you were playing
dress-up, I found out that the mark...
423
00:27:55,240 --> 00:27:57,481
Belongs to the Shadow Orcs.
424
00:27:59,600 --> 00:28:02,490
Yeah. And they're using fairy magic.
425
00:28:02,760 --> 00:28:04,842
"The Tree of Pain." Awesome.
426
00:28:05,000 --> 00:28:08,209
- Whoever gets marked gets ganked.
- All right. How do we stop it?
427
00:28:08,360 --> 00:28:11,807
Find whoever cast the spell.
Take them out. No more whammy, no marks.
428
00:28:12,000 --> 00:28:14,002
- No marks, no dead bodies.
- Okay. Perfect.
429
00:28:14,160 --> 00:28:17,562
Our pal Boltar the Chatty
is getting the Shadow Orc prisoner.
430
00:28:17,720 --> 00:28:20,963
Gonna do a prisoner exchange,
try to draw the king out of hiding.
431
00:28:21,120 --> 00:28:22,201
It was my idea.
432
00:28:24,600 --> 00:28:26,523
- Where's Charlie?
- She was with you.
433
00:28:26,720 --> 00:28:28,609
No, I sent her to you.
434
00:28:29,720 --> 00:28:31,324
Charlie.
435
00:28:31,520 --> 00:28:32,601
Your Highness?
436
00:28:34,320 --> 00:28:35,970
Charlie.
437
00:28:37,400 --> 00:28:40,802
You know what?
She's got my phone. Try it.
438
00:29:05,320 --> 00:29:06,845
Uh...
439
00:29:07,880 --> 00:29:09,405
Hi.
440
00:29:09,800 --> 00:29:13,725
I'm the, uh, Queen of Moons.
441
00:29:13,880 --> 00:29:15,723
Nice to meet you.
442
00:29:17,520 --> 00:29:19,602
Great costume, BT-dubs.
443
00:29:22,640 --> 00:29:26,087
Right. Well, this has been
a really great kidnapping...
444
00:29:26,280 --> 00:29:31,286
...but I gotta get back to not dying.
So good talk.
445
00:29:43,640 --> 00:29:49,409
Wow. Real magic. That is really
cool, if not mostly terrifying.
446
00:29:49,560 --> 00:29:50,766
Um...
447
00:29:50,920 --> 00:29:53,400
Right. Okay.
448
00:29:53,600 --> 00:29:57,730
We can work this out, can't we?
Get you some gold? My crown?
449
00:29:58,320 --> 00:30:00,209
Ritualistic sacrifice?
450
00:30:03,520 --> 00:30:06,683
Look, I am not really a queen.
451
00:30:07,480 --> 00:30:09,323
I'm just an IT girl.
452
00:30:09,800 --> 00:30:12,087
Standing in front of a monster.
453
00:30:12,240 --> 00:30:14,322
Asking it not to kill her.
454
00:30:17,120 --> 00:30:19,600
Great. The worst period of my life
comes to an end.
455
00:30:19,760 --> 00:30:24,084
I saw my boss get eaten by a Leviathan, broke
my arm, lived life on the run, got it all back.
456
00:30:24,640 --> 00:30:27,086
Now a dude in a stag-skull mask
is gonna kill me.
457
00:30:27,240 --> 00:30:28,969
I just want my old life back.
458
00:30:35,360 --> 00:30:36,885
That is all I want as well.
459
00:30:49,680 --> 00:30:51,205
If anything's happened to her...
460
00:30:51,360 --> 00:30:55,160
Dude, we checked all the tents.
We'll talk to these guys. We'll find her.
461
00:31:06,080 --> 00:31:08,242
Greetings, heretics.
462
00:31:09,400 --> 00:31:12,131
You should kneel before me, cur.
463
00:31:13,880 --> 00:31:15,689
- All right. Why don't you...?
- Silence!
464
00:31:16,160 --> 00:31:18,527
Now, before we exchange...
465
00:31:19,680 --> 00:31:20,806
...a few announcements.
466
00:31:23,880 --> 00:31:27,043
There is a peewee soccer playoff game
tomorrow on the alpha field.
467
00:31:27,200 --> 00:31:29,487
Don't wanna freak the mundanes.
We gotta move.
468
00:31:29,640 --> 00:31:31,927
That's it.
Gonna do this the old-fashioned way.
469
00:31:32,080 --> 00:31:33,605
- Dean. Don't. Come on.
- No.
470
00:31:33,760 --> 00:31:35,205
- I told you there...
- Shut up.
471
00:31:35,360 --> 00:31:38,921
All right. I need real answers.
This here is a real gun. See?
472
00:31:39,760 --> 00:31:43,321
- Whoa! Whoa! Hold! Hold! Jeez!
- Start talking.
473
00:31:43,480 --> 00:31:45,642
- Where's the queen?
- I don't know.
474
00:31:45,840 --> 00:31:49,640
Yeah, well, your little family crest there
tells a different story, pal.
475
00:31:49,840 --> 00:31:51,251
- This?
- Yeah.
476
00:31:51,400 --> 00:31:52,765
Uh...
477
00:31:52,920 --> 00:31:56,288
I got sick last month after this thing
just appeared on my arm.
478
00:31:57,600 --> 00:32:00,251
It looked cool,
so I turned it into my family crest.
479
00:32:00,400 --> 00:32:03,131
I mean, after my dermatologist
said it wasn't malignant.
480
00:32:03,280 --> 00:32:05,521
Dean, he's not our guy.
He's just another vic.
481
00:32:05,680 --> 00:32:09,127
My name is Max Hilby. I'm an attorney.
I have no idea where the queen is...
482
00:32:09,320 --> 00:32:12,449
...but if you let me go right now,
I won't press charges.
483
00:32:15,160 --> 00:32:16,924
I promise.
484
00:32:18,240 --> 00:32:19,526
Um...
485
00:32:21,680 --> 00:32:24,524
Here, take them. Please.
486
00:32:25,000 --> 00:32:27,651
Go. Go. Go.
487
00:32:31,880 --> 00:32:33,530
What? What?
488
00:32:35,320 --> 00:32:36,810
Is the queen really in danger?
489
00:32:38,760 --> 00:32:41,081
Okay, I noticed something odd
down by the creek.
490
00:32:41,240 --> 00:32:44,289
There's this weird tent.
It's not one of ours.
491
00:32:45,200 --> 00:32:46,281
It's kind of creepy.
492
00:32:46,480 --> 00:32:49,006
Why are you being so helpful
all of a sudden?
493
00:32:49,160 --> 00:32:51,162
Look, I harbor an epic crush
on the queen.
494
00:32:52,400 --> 00:32:55,563
Maybe you could put in a good word
for me when you find her?
495
00:32:56,360 --> 00:32:58,249
I don't think you're her type.
496
00:32:59,880 --> 00:33:03,646
What, you mean she's not into Orcs?
497
00:33:08,160 --> 00:33:12,802
My name is Gilda.
I'm from the Hollow Forest of Arkhmoor.
498
00:33:12,960 --> 00:33:14,086
I'm a fairy.
499
00:33:14,240 --> 00:33:16,163
Hmm. Swoon.
500
00:33:16,920 --> 00:33:20,561
Uh, I mean, how did you get here?
501
00:33:21,480 --> 00:33:23,562
I was summoned here by a spell.
502
00:33:24,040 --> 00:33:25,690
BY Whom?
503
00:33:25,840 --> 00:33:29,242
I don't know his name,
but I was brought here to do his bidding.
504
00:33:29,440 --> 00:33:32,091
His bidding? That's never good.
505
00:33:32,800 --> 00:33:36,771
My master, he...
506
00:33:37,400 --> 00:33:40,722
He has me hurt people.
He's forcing me to.
507
00:33:40,880 --> 00:33:43,645
I'd never hurt anyone.
I'm a fairy. The good kind.
508
00:33:43,800 --> 00:33:45,643
No, no, I get that.
509
00:33:45,800 --> 00:33:47,370
Why is he doing this?
510
00:33:48,280 --> 00:33:50,009
I don't know.
511
00:33:50,160 --> 00:33:54,768
He started off with smaller commands,
but he's become more violent.
512
00:33:55,920 --> 00:33:58,048
He had me kill two men this week.
513
00:33:59,240 --> 00:34:02,084
Man, someone is taking this game
way too seriously.
514
00:34:02,920 --> 00:34:04,524
Game?
515
00:34:05,560 --> 00:34:08,609
This, my outfit, all of this...
516
00:34:08,760 --> 00:34:10,524
...it's just a game here.
517
00:34:10,680 --> 00:34:13,047
Why would you play such a game?
518
00:34:13,240 --> 00:34:15,891
This world?
Mm, not so much with the awesome.
519
00:34:16,040 --> 00:34:20,443
The game is a way to get away.
520
00:34:20,600 --> 00:34:22,090
Hmm.
521
00:34:22,240 --> 00:34:24,368
It's a lovely forest.
522
00:34:24,520 --> 00:34:27,649
But it's nothing like my home.
523
00:34:28,840 --> 00:34:31,491
Right.
So how do we get you back there?
524
00:34:32,520 --> 00:34:35,410
I can't break free from the spell myself.
525
00:34:35,560 --> 00:34:38,962
A hero must take my master's book
of magic and destroy it...
526
00:34:39,120 --> 00:34:41,202
...breaking the spell.
527
00:34:42,400 --> 00:34:43,845
Gilda?
528
00:34:44,000 --> 00:34:45,650
My name is Charlie Bradbury.
529
00:34:46,160 --> 00:34:48,128
And I am here to rescue you.
530
00:34:57,040 --> 00:34:59,202
Why don't you take off?
We got it from here.
531
00:34:59,360 --> 00:35:03,729
A handmaiden and a time traveler
rescue the queen? I think not, kind lady.
532
00:35:03,880 --> 00:35:07,726
This isn't a game. The queen, our friend,
is in real danger. You could get hurt.
533
00:35:07,880 --> 00:35:09,609
I will not leave my queen in peril.
534
00:35:11,480 --> 00:35:13,164
Look, there.
535
00:35:13,960 --> 00:35:16,008
We haven't checked that tent.
536
00:35:36,720 --> 00:35:40,930
Dudes, if the tent is rocking,
don't come a-knocking.
537
00:35:41,080 --> 00:35:44,368
No, it's him. My master. Run!
538
00:35:55,560 --> 00:35:57,847
No guns in Moondoor, gentlemen.
539
00:35:58,680 --> 00:36:00,523
Gilda, if you please.
540
00:36:07,800 --> 00:36:08,926
Well, now what, Gerry?
541
00:36:10,600 --> 00:36:13,604
My name is Boltar the Furious!
542
00:36:14,480 --> 00:36:18,963
My plan was, after getting rid
of all my competition...
543
00:36:19,120 --> 00:36:20,849
...to win the battle tomorrow...
544
00:36:21,000 --> 00:36:23,526
...convincing the queen
that I should be her king.
545
00:36:24,320 --> 00:36:27,688
But then you two idiots showed up
and I was forced to improvise.
546
00:36:27,840 --> 00:36:30,525
Rescue the damsel in distress
from Orcs, become king...
547
00:36:30,680 --> 00:36:32,967
...kill you both. That'll work too.
548
00:36:33,120 --> 00:36:35,043
So why'd you go
from hobbling to murder?
549
00:36:36,000 --> 00:36:39,686
Greyfox and Thargrim became part of
the Honor Guard. Got close to the queen.
550
00:36:39,880 --> 00:36:41,644
They did it by breaking the rules...
551
00:36:41,840 --> 00:36:45,208
...paying off players with real money
rather than Moondoor currency.
552
00:36:45,360 --> 00:36:48,045
- They were cheating.
- Oh, and using magic isn't?
553
00:36:48,200 --> 00:36:50,009
Magic is a part of Moondoor.
554
00:36:50,160 --> 00:36:52,640
What is your problem?
Why would you hurt people?
555
00:36:52,800 --> 00:36:55,485
- This is just a game.
- There is no game!
556
00:36:55,640 --> 00:36:57,768
There is only Moondoor.
557
00:36:57,920 --> 00:36:59,649
I came here to be different.
558
00:37:00,520 --> 00:37:02,409
To get away from my crappy life.
559
00:37:02,560 --> 00:37:04,562
To be a hero. And guess what.
560
00:37:04,720 --> 00:37:09,089
What, you were a loser in the real world
and you're a loser here? Shocker.
561
00:37:09,280 --> 00:37:11,886
Would a loser track down
a real book of spells...
562
00:37:12,080 --> 00:37:14,208
...and compel a fairy to do his bidding?
563
00:37:14,360 --> 00:37:16,362
Depends. How did you get it?
564
00:37:18,520 --> 00:37:20,204
EBay.
565
00:37:22,920 --> 00:37:26,447
Look, it doesn't have to be like this,
Boltar.
566
00:37:27,000 --> 00:37:30,049
Just hand over the book of spells.
We can work this out.
567
00:37:30,200 --> 00:37:32,601
This will all work out...
568
00:37:32,760 --> 00:37:35,684
...after I remove you
from the playing field...
569
00:37:35,840 --> 00:37:37,569
...and wipe her memory.
570
00:37:38,800 --> 00:37:40,040
Gilda?
571
00:37:45,720 --> 00:37:46,881
Gilda, the big one.
572
00:38:01,200 --> 00:38:04,044
I can't stop him.
The book, you must destroy it.
573
00:38:11,920 --> 00:38:13,081
Hey, Gerry.
574
00:38:14,240 --> 00:38:16,846
I'm the one who saves damsels
in distress around here.
575
00:38:19,720 --> 00:38:21,404
No!
576
00:38:36,160 --> 00:38:37,764
Are you okay?
577
00:38:37,960 --> 00:38:40,008
I'm free of the spell.
578
00:38:40,160 --> 00:38:41,730
You saved me.
579
00:38:41,920 --> 00:38:44,366
The Hollow Forest is forever in your debt.
580
00:38:45,320 --> 00:38:47,527
I must return to those green hills now.
581
00:38:48,760 --> 00:38:51,161
I will take my former master with me.
582
00:38:51,320 --> 00:38:53,926
He must face a fairy tribunal for his sins.
583
00:38:54,080 --> 00:38:55,570
Wait.
584
00:39:08,040 --> 00:39:10,611
Call me, maybe?
585
00:39:15,400 --> 00:39:17,607
So, what's next for you, Charlie?
586
00:39:17,760 --> 00:39:20,240
New town? New identity?
587
00:39:20,400 --> 00:39:22,562
If the last 24 hours
has taught me anything...
588
00:39:22,720 --> 00:39:25,121
...it's that escaping
isn't what it used to be.
589
00:39:25,280 --> 00:39:27,089
No more replacement characters
for me.
590
00:39:27,800 --> 00:39:29,848
I gotta face reality from now on.
591
00:39:30,000 --> 00:39:32,128
Sadly,
reality actually includes monsters...
592
00:39:32,280 --> 00:39:34,487
...but what are you gonna do?
593
00:39:35,280 --> 00:39:37,806
If I can ever be of help to you guys,
let me know.
594
00:39:38,440 --> 00:39:42,161
Will do. And you, uh...? You're good?
595
00:39:43,160 --> 00:39:46,004
Apart from the fact you blocked me
from banging a fairy...
596
00:39:46,160 --> 00:39:48,003
...and I'm about to lose my crown...
597
00:39:48,160 --> 00:39:51,004
...thanks to my army being decimated? Heh.
598
00:39:51,200 --> 00:39:53,089
Yeah. Totally good.
599
00:39:55,720 --> 00:39:57,768
Smell you later, bitches.
600
00:40:05,720 --> 00:40:07,563
So, what's, uh...?
601
00:40:07,720 --> 00:40:11,247
What's next? Because no fun, right?
602
00:40:12,000 --> 00:40:16,130
Look, before you say anything, I get it.
603
00:40:16,280 --> 00:40:19,523
No amount of fun is gonna help you
get over what you gave up.
604
00:40:20,880 --> 00:40:22,723
You just, uh...
605
00:40:22,880 --> 00:40:25,565
You need time. Right?
606
00:40:26,200 --> 00:40:27,725
Yeah.
607
00:40:28,320 --> 00:40:29,924
Thanks.
608
00:40:30,080 --> 00:40:31,764
And you're right. Ahem.
609
00:40:31,920 --> 00:40:33,604
Having fun won't help me.
610
00:40:35,840 --> 00:40:36,966
It'll help both of us.
611
00:40:38,760 --> 00:40:40,489
Shall we?
612
00:40:46,720 --> 00:40:51,123
And dying in your beds
many years from now...
613
00:40:51,640 --> 00:40:53,722
...would you be willing to trade...
614
00:40:53,880 --> 00:40:57,248
...all the days, from this day to that...
615
00:40:57,760 --> 00:40:59,046
...for one chance...
616
00:40:59,240 --> 00:41:01,402
- Isn't that the speech from...?
- Only one he knows.
617
00:41:01,600 --> 00:41:03,568
...Just one chance...
618
00:41:04,160 --> 00:41:06,322
...to come back here...
619
00:41:06,520 --> 00:41:08,443
...and tell our enemies...
620
00:41:08,600 --> 00:41:11,126
...that they may take our lives...
621
00:41:11,320 --> 00:41:13,288
- ...but they will never take...
- Hold!
622
00:41:18,680 --> 00:41:19,966
- Uh, my bad.
- Really?
623
00:41:20,160 --> 00:41:22,561
- Sorry.
- You can't be serious.
624
00:41:27,200 --> 00:41:28,531
...Our freedom!
625
00:41:36,200 --> 00:41:39,761
This episode is dedicated
to the men, women, elves...
626
00:41:39,920 --> 00:41:43,811
...demigods, magi, druids
and chamber-pot servants...
627
00:41:43,960 --> 00:41:46,281
...who gave their lives
fighting and winning...
628
00:41:46,480 --> 00:41:49,370
...for the Queen of Moons
in the Battle of Kingdoms.
629
00:41:49,520 --> 00:41:53,206
Go bravely into the next world,
fallen soldiers.
48891
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