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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:03,600 --> 00:00:04,806 Charlie Bradbury. 2 00:00:04,960 --> 00:00:06,291 - Unh. - Jeez! 3 00:00:06,480 --> 00:00:09,165 I erase the drive first, then I go back to my old life? 4 00:00:09,360 --> 00:00:11,169 You don't have an old life anymore. 5 00:00:11,360 --> 00:00:13,727 Never contact me again. Like, ever. 6 00:00:13,880 --> 00:00:15,609 If you stay, I would be with you. 7 00:00:15,800 --> 00:00:18,201 But if you leave, don't come back. 8 00:00:18,360 --> 00:00:20,328 Whatever you decide... 9 00:00:20,920 --> 00:00:22,729 ...decide. 10 00:00:24,240 --> 00:00:25,366 Listen, Benny... 11 00:00:25,520 --> 00:00:28,729 ...everything you've done for me, I will never forget. 12 00:00:28,920 --> 00:00:30,604 But, uh... 13 00:00:30,840 --> 00:00:32,126 End of the line? 14 00:00:32,320 --> 00:00:33,367 AdiĆ³s. 15 00:00:46,120 --> 00:00:48,282 How dare you? 16 00:00:48,480 --> 00:00:49,811 Lance. 17 00:00:49,960 --> 00:00:53,442 Yeah, that's right, I'm talking to Lance, not... 18 00:00:53,600 --> 00:00:55,887 Oh, no, we both cut corners to get close to her. 19 00:00:56,040 --> 00:00:57,804 But that wasn't cheating. 20 00:00:57,960 --> 00:00:59,291 Dude. 21 00:00:59,440 --> 00:01:02,125 It's just a game. 22 00:01:04,360 --> 00:01:06,522 It's just a game. 23 00:01:43,240 --> 00:01:46,289 Help! 24 00:01:46,440 --> 00:01:48,249 Help me! 25 00:02:03,440 --> 00:02:05,408 They say that the father's insane 26 00:02:06,440 --> 00:02:09,603 And dear Mrs. Perkin's a game 27 00:02:10,920 --> 00:02:12,160 We're talkin' 'bout... 28 00:02:12,360 --> 00:02:14,203 You okay, man? 29 00:02:16,920 --> 00:02:19,764 We have the most powerful weapon we've had against demons... 30 00:02:19,920 --> 00:02:22,207 ...and we can't find a way to use it. 31 00:02:22,360 --> 00:02:26,126 Yeah, well, Kevin's on it, and when he finds something, he'll call. 32 00:02:26,280 --> 00:02:28,123 So we wait. 33 00:02:30,960 --> 00:02:36,091 Look, we have both had a rough go over these past couple of weeks... 34 00:02:37,120 --> 00:02:39,361 ...and I know what you gave up wasn't easy. 35 00:02:41,120 --> 00:02:42,963 Maybe we ought to take the night off. 36 00:02:43,480 --> 00:02:46,051 Go see a flick. Hit a bar. Or two. 37 00:02:46,560 --> 00:02:48,085 Have some fun. 38 00:02:48,240 --> 00:02:50,686 You remember fun, don't you, Sammy? 39 00:02:58,520 --> 00:03:00,284 Kevin, what do you got? 40 00:03:00,480 --> 00:03:02,482 Garth, hey. 41 00:03:03,280 --> 00:03:05,681 Really? Okay. Yeah. 42 00:03:05,840 --> 00:03:09,526 Thanks, man. Oh, hey. Hey, Garth. Garth, you there? 43 00:03:09,800 --> 00:03:12,531 How did you know where we are? 44 00:03:13,280 --> 00:03:15,567 Look, it's bad enough that you're tracking us... 45 00:03:15,720 --> 00:03:19,850 ...but it's even worse when you say we've been Garthed. 46 00:03:20,000 --> 00:03:21,923 Ahem. Yeah. 47 00:03:22,120 --> 00:03:24,248 Okay. We gotta lose the GPS on our phones... 48 00:03:24,400 --> 00:03:27,768 ...because Garth has been tracking us and other hunters, apparently... 49 00:03:27,920 --> 00:03:29,445 ...to assign cases. 50 00:03:29,640 --> 00:03:31,005 I mean, that's smart. 51 00:03:31,160 --> 00:03:32,605 A total Bobby move. 52 00:03:33,080 --> 00:03:34,844 What's the deal? 53 00:03:35,360 --> 00:03:38,250 Uh, well, it's close. Farmington Hills, Michigan. 54 00:03:38,440 --> 00:03:41,284 Dude got ripped limb from limb inside his locked apartment. 55 00:03:41,440 --> 00:03:43,124 That's not good. 56 00:03:43,320 --> 00:03:44,731 Working a case. 57 00:03:44,880 --> 00:03:48,282 As long as we're waiting on Kevin, that'll be our fun. 58 00:03:56,120 --> 00:04:00,409 Sheriff, Special Agent Taggart. This is my partner, Special Agent Rosewood. 59 00:04:00,560 --> 00:04:04,565 FBI? You guys are quick. Haven't even got the body out yet. 60 00:04:04,760 --> 00:04:07,604 Well, the FBI is all work, no play. 61 00:04:07,760 --> 00:04:10,127 Give me the tour while my partner looks around. 62 00:04:10,280 --> 00:04:11,691 I work better on my own. 63 00:04:12,720 --> 00:04:15,690 Your world, agent. Follow me. 64 00:04:23,360 --> 00:04:26,330 Vic's name was Ed Nelson, 31 years old. 65 00:04:26,480 --> 00:04:28,448 An insurance claim adjuster. 66 00:04:28,600 --> 00:04:33,561 He lived alone, which is a real shocker considering his place is full of toys. 67 00:04:35,640 --> 00:04:38,405 - So, what happened? - No sign of forced entry. 68 00:04:38,560 --> 00:04:42,360 Near as we can tell, he was tied up and pulled apart. 69 00:04:42,880 --> 00:04:46,965 Died of the shock or massive blood loss. Dealer's choice on that one. 70 00:04:47,120 --> 00:04:50,249 - So, what about these chains? - That's actually chain mail. 71 00:04:50,400 --> 00:04:52,528 - Seriously'? - Heh. 72 00:04:52,680 --> 00:04:57,163 We did find clear rope-burn marks on his wrists and ankles. 73 00:05:05,360 --> 00:05:06,600 Huh. 74 00:05:08,240 --> 00:05:13,280 So anything missing from the body? 75 00:05:14,000 --> 00:05:15,809 You mean aside from the arms and legs? 76 00:05:18,040 --> 00:05:22,125 Uh... Nope. All there. Twig and berries too. 77 00:05:22,280 --> 00:05:24,362 What about the neighbors? They hear anything weird? 78 00:05:24,520 --> 00:05:28,320 Ah, neighbor downstairs got woke up in the middle of the night... 79 00:05:28,480 --> 00:05:31,529 ...by the sound of horses stomping their feet and galloping. 80 00:05:32,560 --> 00:05:35,166 We didn't find any hoof prints. 81 00:05:35,320 --> 00:05:37,209 She probably heard a TV... 82 00:05:37,360 --> 00:05:40,364 ...or was having a bad dream, or she was high as balls. 83 00:05:40,920 --> 00:05:44,686 Fortunately, we got a real lead off his cell phone. 84 00:05:44,840 --> 00:05:46,569 According to the phone records... 85 00:05:46,720 --> 00:05:50,566 ...Ed's last call was from a guy called Lance Jacobsen. 86 00:05:51,160 --> 00:05:55,768 An accountant. Also 30s, also lives alone. 87 00:05:55,920 --> 00:05:57,126 How's he a lead? 88 00:05:57,280 --> 00:05:59,647 The two of them talked together for 15 minutes... 89 00:05:59,800 --> 00:06:03,691 ...and then Lance sent Ed here all kinds of angry texts. 90 00:06:03,880 --> 00:06:07,965 Some of them were your typical threat stuff, but some were a little weird. 91 00:06:08,480 --> 00:06:09,561 Weird how? 92 00:06:09,760 --> 00:06:14,607 Like, uh, "You shall bleed for your crimes against us." 93 00:06:14,760 --> 00:06:16,922 Followed by the emoticon of a skull. 94 00:06:17,600 --> 00:06:22,811 And this beauty: "I am a mage. I will destroy you." 95 00:06:22,960 --> 00:06:27,807 These kids today with their texting and murder. Tsk. 96 00:06:27,960 --> 00:06:30,804 My men just brought Lance into the station for questioning. 97 00:06:31,480 --> 00:06:33,528 We need to take first crack at the suspect. 98 00:06:33,680 --> 00:06:36,445 Like I said, agent, it's your world. 99 00:06:41,960 --> 00:06:44,008 Lance Jacobsen? 100 00:06:44,200 --> 00:06:46,123 We're with the FBI. 101 00:06:46,280 --> 00:06:47,884 The FBI? 102 00:06:48,040 --> 00:06:50,850 I can't believe this is happening. 103 00:06:51,320 --> 00:06:53,721 I can't believe Ed's dead. 104 00:06:56,360 --> 00:06:59,250 Lance. Lance. Just breathe. 105 00:06:59,800 --> 00:07:02,201 Just breathe. You're fine. 106 00:07:02,920 --> 00:07:05,890 We just need to ask you a few questions. Try to calm down. 107 00:07:07,080 --> 00:07:09,811 We wanna know about the texts... 108 00:07:09,960 --> 00:07:12,691 - ...you sent Ed last night. - I told them. 109 00:07:12,840 --> 00:07:15,969 - Those texts weren't from me. - Your phone and Ed's say otherwise. 110 00:07:16,160 --> 00:07:19,084 No, I mean, they were from me, but they weren't from "me" me. 111 00:07:22,400 --> 00:07:25,006 Did you really think that sentence was gonna clear things up? 112 00:07:26,640 --> 00:07:29,644 I'm sorry. This is all a big misunderstanding. 113 00:07:30,160 --> 00:07:33,084 Those text messages were from Greyfox the Mystic... 114 00:07:33,240 --> 00:07:34,844 ...to Thargrim the Difficult. 115 00:07:37,240 --> 00:07:38,685 Our characters in Moondoor. 116 00:07:40,240 --> 00:07:43,562 Moondoor is a game that Ed and I play. We're LARPers. 117 00:07:43,760 --> 00:07:45,000 Live-action role playing. 118 00:07:45,760 --> 00:07:49,082 Right. LARPing. Good times. 119 00:07:49,280 --> 00:07:53,285 We play Moondoor at Heritage Park. All the info about it is on our website. 120 00:07:54,000 --> 00:07:56,685 - You have a website? - One of the players designed it. 121 00:07:56,840 --> 00:08:00,526 In fact, they should have posted pictures from last night's feast. 122 00:08:00,680 --> 00:08:01,761 I was there all night. 123 00:08:01,920 --> 00:08:04,810 What does any of this have to do with the texts? 124 00:08:05,280 --> 00:08:07,647 I play a character named Greyfox the Mystic. 125 00:08:07,840 --> 00:08:11,287 I'm a very, very powerful mage in the game. 126 00:08:15,080 --> 00:08:18,050 Okay. Uh, very powerful. Go on. 127 00:08:18,200 --> 00:08:19,565 Ed is... 128 00:08:20,840 --> 00:08:25,482 Ed was Thargrim the Difficult of the Elder Forest... 129 00:08:25,640 --> 00:08:28,610 ...son of Hargrim and Bouphin, brother to... 130 00:08:32,600 --> 00:08:34,728 He was Lancelot to my Merlin. 131 00:08:35,480 --> 00:08:36,766 Ah. 132 00:08:36,920 --> 00:08:39,605 If you were so tight, then why the threatening messages? 133 00:08:39,800 --> 00:08:41,802 We were named to the Queen's Honor Guard... 134 00:08:41,960 --> 00:08:45,123 ...in anticipation of the coming Battle of Kingdoms this weekend. 135 00:08:45,320 --> 00:08:48,164 I thought he broke protocol. I called Ed after game hours... 136 00:08:48,320 --> 00:08:49,845 ...and accused him of cheating. 137 00:08:50,000 --> 00:08:52,367 - And then I challenged him to a duel. - A duel? 138 00:08:52,520 --> 00:08:54,204 Wands and swords at dawn. 139 00:08:56,040 --> 00:09:00,284 Ahem. Now, when you say wands, do you mean magic wands? 140 00:09:00,440 --> 00:09:03,284 No, unmagic wands, agent. 141 00:09:03,440 --> 00:09:06,683 Because what I really want in a duel is an unmagic wand. 142 00:09:08,560 --> 00:09:11,723 Yes, fake wands. It's a game. 143 00:09:12,840 --> 00:09:14,569 I can't believe it. 144 00:09:14,720 --> 00:09:16,449 Oh, ye gods. 145 00:09:17,400 --> 00:09:20,131 Thargrim the Difficult has fallen. 146 00:09:24,200 --> 00:09:25,531 Look, Lance, it's... 147 00:09:26,240 --> 00:09:28,402 Hang in there, champ. 148 00:09:32,720 --> 00:09:36,805 So? You believe Dungeons & Dragons? 149 00:09:36,960 --> 00:09:40,089 He didn't put a whammy on us. Those weren't crocodile tears, man. 150 00:09:40,240 --> 00:09:42,402 - That's not our guy. - What are we looking at? 151 00:09:42,600 --> 00:09:43,726 You saw the chain mail. 152 00:09:43,880 --> 00:09:47,089 This could be Fifty Shades of Greyfox for all we know. 153 00:09:47,240 --> 00:09:51,643 All right, let's check out the Moondoor site, see if Lance's story checks out. 154 00:09:59,960 --> 00:10:03,089 "Welcome to Moondoor, Michigan's largest LARPing game." 155 00:10:03,240 --> 00:10:06,005 - And I thought we needed to get out more. - Heh. 156 00:10:08,000 --> 00:10:09,365 Hmm. 157 00:10:10,520 --> 00:10:12,409 There's our guy. 158 00:10:12,920 --> 00:10:14,206 Huh. 159 00:10:14,360 --> 00:10:16,601 Actually looks kind of awesome. 160 00:10:18,400 --> 00:10:19,925 All right. There's a video. 161 00:10:20,080 --> 00:10:25,007 Moondoor, a world of intrigue, honor and passion. 162 00:10:27,320 --> 00:10:28,970 Four kingdoms: 163 00:10:29,120 --> 00:10:30,963 the Followers of the Moon... 164 00:10:31,120 --> 00:10:32,201 ...Elves... 165 00:10:32,440 --> 00:10:34,442 Warriors of Yesteryear... 166 00:10:34,600 --> 00:10:36,170 ...and the dreaded Shadow Orcs. 167 00:10:36,360 --> 00:10:41,161 All will fight on the Fields of Never in the biannual Battle of Kingdoms. 168 00:10:41,320 --> 00:10:45,769 Pick up a sword or a mace and take control of Moondoor... 169 00:10:45,920 --> 00:10:48,571 - ...or defend the current ruler... - Wait, is that...? 170 00:10:48,720 --> 00:10:51,769 ...The Queen of Moons. 171 00:11:05,960 --> 00:11:07,962 The hell? 172 00:11:34,760 --> 00:11:37,206 You're gonna wanna see this. 173 00:11:56,640 --> 00:11:58,369 God forbid he was contagious. 174 00:11:58,520 --> 00:12:00,887 I'm gonna go dip myself in hand sanitizer. 175 00:12:03,920 --> 00:12:08,562 No EMF, no hex bags, no sulfur. I got nada. You? 176 00:12:08,720 --> 00:12:10,688 Watch the video again. 177 00:12:11,360 --> 00:12:12,850 There. See that? 178 00:12:14,200 --> 00:12:16,248 Same as Ed's. I don't know. 179 00:12:16,400 --> 00:12:20,200 Maybe they had matching tattoos. I mean, they were brothers-in-arms. 180 00:12:20,360 --> 00:12:23,045 - You recognize it from anything? - A Tim Burton movie? 181 00:12:23,520 --> 00:12:25,568 Aside from the mark of the creepy here... 182 00:12:25,760 --> 00:12:28,764 ...the only thing these guys have in common is LARPing. 183 00:12:28,920 --> 00:12:30,684 Lucky for us, we know the queen. 184 00:12:50,680 --> 00:12:53,445 I, Boltar the Furious, bind you to this stock... 185 00:12:53,600 --> 00:12:57,491 ...so that all of Moondoor may see you for what you are, a thief. 186 00:12:57,640 --> 00:13:01,725 My Shadow Orc brethren will descend from the Black Hills and the tents of... 187 00:13:03,360 --> 00:13:05,806 Uh, hold. 188 00:13:09,080 --> 00:13:11,447 - Thanks, Gerry. Sorry. - Yeah, no problem, Monty. 189 00:13:17,200 --> 00:13:18,440 Resume. 190 00:13:18,600 --> 00:13:22,764 And the tents will be bathed in blood as we unseat the Queen of the Moons... 191 00:13:22,920 --> 00:13:26,925 ...from the throne she stole from the rightful heir, the Shadow King, and you... 192 00:13:27,080 --> 00:13:30,323 Silentium. Serve your time with honor, heathen. 193 00:13:30,840 --> 00:13:35,448 And if you need to use the chamber pot, stomp your feet thrice. 194 00:13:35,600 --> 00:13:38,843 Excuse me. Hi. You are a LARPer, yeah? 195 00:13:39,040 --> 00:13:41,327 I prefer the term "interactive literaturist." 196 00:13:41,480 --> 00:13:45,849 Right. I'm Special Agent Rosewood. This is Special Agent Taggart. 197 00:13:46,000 --> 00:13:47,126 - We just want... - Hold. 198 00:13:48,440 --> 00:13:50,329 We're not doing the genre mash-up thing. 199 00:13:50,480 --> 00:13:52,209 We only do that every third month. 200 00:13:52,360 --> 00:13:53,691 - The... - Come again? 201 00:13:54,360 --> 00:13:57,364 Your fake badges, the cheap suits. It's very cool. I get it. 202 00:13:57,560 --> 00:14:00,245 Your characters are FBI agents that traveled to Moondoor. 203 00:14:00,440 --> 00:14:02,522 But it's straight-up Moondoor this weekend. 204 00:14:02,680 --> 00:14:03,727 These aren't fake badges. 205 00:14:03,880 --> 00:14:07,043 Uh, yeah, they are, and they're very good... 206 00:14:07,240 --> 00:14:10,403 ...but, well, the ID numbers shifted to 10 digits... 207 00:14:10,560 --> 00:14:12,767 ...with two letters at the end of the year. 208 00:14:12,920 --> 00:14:15,685 And that seal is from last month. Really good work. 209 00:14:15,840 --> 00:14:18,446 It's just it's a tournament weekend, okay, guys? 210 00:14:18,640 --> 00:14:22,167 So you gotta follow the rules. If there's no rules, chaos. 211 00:14:23,480 --> 00:14:27,565 Ahem. Resume. If you would like to join the army of Moons... 212 00:14:27,760 --> 00:14:29,922 ...the queen is on the lookout for squires. 213 00:14:30,080 --> 00:14:33,971 Yes. Right. We would like to see your queen. Now, please. 214 00:14:34,160 --> 00:14:36,162 The queen's calendar is booked up in advance. 215 00:14:36,320 --> 00:14:39,529 But if you wish to witness what's in store for you in her army... 216 00:14:39,680 --> 00:14:43,241 ...Her Highness is overseeing new squires on the pitch as we speak. 217 00:14:57,280 --> 00:14:58,691 Yield! I yield! 218 00:15:06,080 --> 00:15:08,606 - I love you. - I know. 219 00:15:08,800 --> 00:15:12,930 Take your leave to my medical tent and attend to your severed limbs. 220 00:15:15,360 --> 00:15:17,203 Greyfox and Thargrim are missing. 221 00:15:17,960 --> 00:15:21,442 We pray to the goddess they have not fallen victim of foul play. 222 00:15:21,600 --> 00:15:24,763 In their absence, the Honor Guard's ranks are weakened. 223 00:15:24,920 --> 00:15:26,046 To join... 224 00:15:29,200 --> 00:15:30,406 Oh, blerg. 225 00:15:32,200 --> 00:15:33,690 Uh... 226 00:15:34,720 --> 00:15:36,848 The queen needs some royal we time. 227 00:15:37,520 --> 00:15:38,646 Talk amongst thyselves. 228 00:15:44,720 --> 00:15:46,609 Ahem. Nice balance. 229 00:15:47,960 --> 00:15:50,122 - Dude. - Yeah. 230 00:15:52,760 --> 00:15:53,886 Charlie? 231 00:15:54,040 --> 00:15:55,849 Charlie Bradbury is dead. 232 00:15:56,000 --> 00:15:58,287 She died a year ago. You killed her. 233 00:15:58,440 --> 00:16:01,125 My name is Carrie Heinlein. 234 00:16:01,280 --> 00:16:03,089 Oh, and guess what. 235 00:16:03,240 --> 00:16:04,446 Now you killed her too. 236 00:16:04,600 --> 00:16:07,683 - Okay. Listen... - No, I buried myself. 237 00:16:07,840 --> 00:16:10,286 Dick Roman went down, his company belly up... 238 00:16:10,440 --> 00:16:12,761 ...and I figured, hey, it's all good. 239 00:16:12,920 --> 00:16:15,764 And I was fine. I got my life back. 240 00:16:16,680 --> 00:16:19,684 Now you're here. And if you guys are here, monsters are here. 241 00:16:21,480 --> 00:16:22,811 Why do I have such bad luck? 242 00:16:23,000 --> 00:16:25,810 What am I? Some kind of monster magnet? 243 00:16:26,520 --> 00:16:29,091 Is there such a thing as a monster magnet? 244 00:16:29,280 --> 00:16:32,124 You know what? Don't answer that. I don't care. 245 00:16:32,280 --> 00:16:36,683 What I care about is not getting my other arm broken. Or dying. 246 00:16:37,200 --> 00:16:40,966 So I'm dropping my sword and walking off the stage, bitches. 247 00:16:41,440 --> 00:16:42,930 Have fun storming the castle. 248 00:16:43,080 --> 00:16:44,923 Charlie. Charlie. 249 00:16:47,560 --> 00:16:50,848 Greyfox and Thargrim? Ed and Lance. 250 00:16:51,000 --> 00:16:52,365 They're not missing. 251 00:16:53,000 --> 00:16:54,047 They're dead. 252 00:16:57,880 --> 00:17:00,486 Drawn and quartered and bleeding out? 253 00:17:00,640 --> 00:17:02,290 Please stop talking again. 254 00:17:02,440 --> 00:17:05,205 So, what do you think did this? 255 00:17:05,360 --> 00:17:08,045 Well, aside from the mark and them both being LARPers... 256 00:17:08,200 --> 00:17:09,964 ...there's not much else to go on. 257 00:17:10,120 --> 00:17:13,442 Wait, I've seen this before. It's a Celtic magic symbol. 258 00:17:14,520 --> 00:17:18,002 At least it was in my favorite video game. Does that help? Can I go now? 259 00:17:18,160 --> 00:17:20,447 It's a start. But no. Um... 260 00:17:20,640 --> 00:17:23,211 Listen, what can you tell us about Ed and Lance? 261 00:17:24,400 --> 00:17:28,405 Good guys. Two of the best members of the queen's ever-shrinking army. 262 00:17:28,560 --> 00:17:29,925 Ever-shrinking? 263 00:17:30,080 --> 00:17:32,686 My kingdom has had a lot of bad luck lately. 264 00:17:32,840 --> 00:17:37,926 Probably because of me, but maybe it's tied to this. 265 00:17:38,360 --> 00:17:41,250 A month ago, one of my guys had both her ankles broken before a battle. 266 00:17:41,400 --> 00:17:45,450 Before that, I had three people have hospital-worthy accidents at home. 267 00:17:45,600 --> 00:17:47,841 You think there's any connection there? 268 00:17:48,400 --> 00:17:50,243 They have any enemies in common? 269 00:17:50,400 --> 00:17:53,006 In real life? No. Everyone gets along famously. 270 00:17:53,160 --> 00:17:56,369 In the game, though? They had tons of enemies. 271 00:17:56,520 --> 00:17:59,126 Red reps the Followers of the Moon, my peeps. 272 00:17:59,280 --> 00:18:01,851 Green's for Elves. Blue's for Warriors of Yesteryear. 273 00:18:02,000 --> 00:18:05,004 And black's for Shadow Orcs. Total D-bags. 274 00:18:05,600 --> 00:18:09,241 This weekend is the Battle of Kingdoms, to see who wears the Forever Crown. 275 00:18:09,440 --> 00:18:14,321 This weekend, each faction is definitely an enemy of me and mine. 276 00:18:15,720 --> 00:18:17,529 You know, if you move your archers back... 277 00:18:17,680 --> 00:18:20,490 - ...and broad swordsmen to the west... - Oh. Flank the warriors. 278 00:18:20,640 --> 00:18:22,005 - Yep. Thanks. - Good call. 279 00:18:22,200 --> 00:18:23,440 - The southern wall? - Guys. 280 00:18:23,600 --> 00:18:25,807 Yeah. Right. Sorry. 281 00:18:25,960 --> 00:18:29,043 So maybe someone from one of the other kingdoms... 282 00:18:29,200 --> 00:18:32,010 ...got ahold of real magic and started using it. 283 00:18:32,160 --> 00:18:35,403 But why not just come after me? And why the escalation? 284 00:18:35,560 --> 00:18:37,927 All right. We will canvass the kingdoms. 285 00:18:38,080 --> 00:18:40,606 - Get out of here. We don't want you hurt. - Wait. 286 00:18:40,800 --> 00:18:42,848 Charlie knows Moondoor better. We need her. 287 00:18:43,000 --> 00:18:45,731 Sam, we can take care of accountants with foam swords. 288 00:18:45,920 --> 00:18:47,888 We need help, Dean. People are dying. 289 00:18:48,040 --> 00:18:51,601 My point is, she should get somewhere safe and get back to a normal life. 290 00:18:51,760 --> 00:18:54,923 - Hey. I am right here and I want to leave. - Thank you. 291 00:18:57,280 --> 00:18:59,248 But the queen? 292 00:18:59,800 --> 00:19:00,926 She has to stay. 293 00:19:01,080 --> 00:19:04,129 Sam is right. People are dying. That can't happen on my watch. 294 00:19:04,280 --> 00:19:07,284 And you know what? I am tired of running. 295 00:19:08,720 --> 00:19:09,960 I like my life here. 296 00:19:11,520 --> 00:19:13,090 I'm gonna stay and fight for it. 297 00:19:20,760 --> 00:19:22,205 Yeah? 298 00:19:22,440 --> 00:19:24,044 Okay. 299 00:19:24,200 --> 00:19:25,326 Thanks. 300 00:19:25,480 --> 00:19:28,882 So the toxicology report came back on Lance. Nothing. 301 00:19:29,040 --> 00:19:32,169 But the medical examiner said his body showed clear signs... 302 00:19:32,320 --> 00:19:34,163 ...that he was killed by belladonna. 303 00:19:34,320 --> 00:19:36,322 The porn star? 304 00:19:39,480 --> 00:19:40,970 The poison. 305 00:19:41,120 --> 00:19:42,451 Oh. 306 00:19:43,800 --> 00:19:47,691 Um, however, they couldn't find a trace of it in his system. 307 00:19:47,840 --> 00:19:51,049 Just like they couldn't find ropes in Ed's apartment. 308 00:19:51,200 --> 00:19:53,328 Charlie, I'm gonna need to borrow your laptop. 309 00:19:54,040 --> 00:19:55,963 There are no laptops in Moondoor. 310 00:19:56,120 --> 00:20:00,045 What? There are rules. But there is a tech tent four tents down. 311 00:20:00,560 --> 00:20:02,642 Okay. How about you guys go canvass... 312 00:20:02,840 --> 00:20:07,687 ...and I'll dig into these accidents and this mark? 313 00:20:08,840 --> 00:20:11,844 Okay, I'm gonna need the full wiki on where you guys have been. 314 00:20:12,000 --> 00:20:14,810 But first, you're gonna have to ditch the suit... 315 00:20:15,000 --> 00:20:17,401 ...if you're gonna walk and talk with the queen. 316 00:20:37,040 --> 00:20:40,203 Excuse me, do you know if there's a directory of online players? 317 00:20:40,360 --> 00:20:44,206 Yeah, it's on the website. All you need is an account to access it. 318 00:20:44,360 --> 00:20:47,489 - Uh, thanks. Uh...? - Maria. 319 00:20:47,680 --> 00:20:52,129 I mean, Gholandria the Wicked. 320 00:21:00,240 --> 00:21:03,881 You sent Sam a phantom text from his ex? 321 00:21:04,040 --> 00:21:07,362 - Dick move, sir. - Yeah. Not my finest hour. 322 00:21:08,440 --> 00:21:10,966 So he found some normalcy with this chick... 323 00:21:11,160 --> 00:21:14,562 ...and now it's gone. Again. Thanks to you. 324 00:21:15,960 --> 00:21:19,760 Yeah, well, now he's more committed than ever, so there's that. 325 00:21:20,640 --> 00:21:24,565 But, trust me, this life, you can't afford attachments. 326 00:21:25,760 --> 00:21:28,650 You just gotta let go. 327 00:21:29,240 --> 00:21:32,608 Are we still talking about Sam, or did you break up with someone too? 328 00:21:33,080 --> 00:21:34,605 - Me? - Yeah. 329 00:21:35,280 --> 00:21:36,770 No. 330 00:21:40,600 --> 00:21:42,648 Your Majesty. 331 00:21:43,960 --> 00:21:45,405 You always been into LARPing? 332 00:21:45,600 --> 00:21:48,365 No. For role-play, I prefer a tabletop. 333 00:21:48,840 --> 00:21:51,650 D&D, Gamma World, Car Wars. 334 00:21:51,800 --> 00:21:54,610 That's why Cthulhu invented multisided dice, right? 335 00:21:54,760 --> 00:21:56,524 But a buddy of mine was into LARPing. 336 00:21:56,680 --> 00:21:59,286 Went for him, stayed for the chicks. 337 00:22:01,120 --> 00:22:02,849 It's not just that, though. 338 00:22:03,000 --> 00:22:04,331 It's an escape. 339 00:22:04,480 --> 00:22:07,723 I mean, here I'm queen, a hero. 340 00:22:07,880 --> 00:22:11,202 In the real world, I'm hacking out code and chugging coffee all day. 341 00:22:11,360 --> 00:22:13,681 - Now, wait a second. - Your Majesty. 342 00:22:13,840 --> 00:22:18,289 If it wasn't for you, we would've never been able to take down Dick. Out there... 343 00:22:19,000 --> 00:22:20,206 ...you are a hero. 344 00:22:24,320 --> 00:22:27,369 Noticing a lot of these maidens checking you out. 345 00:22:27,520 --> 00:22:30,364 What? I can't shut this down. 346 00:22:30,640 --> 00:22:32,642 It's good to be queen. 347 00:22:43,520 --> 00:22:45,249 It's all just pad of the game. 348 00:22:46,080 --> 00:22:49,482 Genre mash-up. Cool. 349 00:22:50,160 --> 00:22:51,889 Hey, I know her. That's Phyllis. 350 00:22:52,480 --> 00:22:54,482 Heard she broke her ankles or something. 351 00:22:56,920 --> 00:22:58,729 - Wow, looks like she got... - Hobbled. 352 00:23:01,080 --> 00:23:02,445 Oh, and that's Jamie. 353 00:23:02,600 --> 00:23:05,604 He said someone broke into his house, beat him with his mace... 354 00:23:05,760 --> 00:23:07,171 No signs of a forced entry. 355 00:23:08,720 --> 00:23:13,248 Do you recognize this from Moondoor? I think it's Celtic. 356 00:23:13,400 --> 00:23:16,609 - No. Sorry. But I'll look it up. - Thanks. 357 00:23:17,840 --> 00:23:20,889 I haven't seen anything like it in my travels, Your Highness. 358 00:23:21,480 --> 00:23:24,529 All right. Well, if you think of anything... 359 00:23:25,080 --> 00:23:26,411 ...come see me in my tent. 360 00:23:27,960 --> 00:23:29,564 Anytime. 361 00:23:35,880 --> 00:23:38,770 Scratch the Elves off the list. 362 00:23:38,920 --> 00:23:41,571 Mace attacks. Hobbling. Medieval poisoning. 363 00:23:41,720 --> 00:23:43,609 Somebody's targeting the queen's people. 364 00:23:43,760 --> 00:23:44,886 No. Not only them. 365 00:23:45,040 --> 00:23:47,441 See, those four are with the queen. 366 00:23:47,600 --> 00:23:49,090 But these two? They're Elves. 367 00:23:49,280 --> 00:23:52,523 And these two are Warriors. Only group not to get hit... 368 00:23:52,720 --> 00:23:55,769 The Shadow Orcs. Last group on the list. Impossible to find. 369 00:23:55,920 --> 00:23:57,922 Wait, I know one. I met him on the way in. 370 00:23:58,120 --> 00:24:01,408 Perfect. Maybe he can tell us what the frak this thing is. 371 00:24:01,560 --> 00:24:06,009 It's, uh, the Tree of Pain. Uh... 372 00:24:06,160 --> 00:24:10,643 If you are tagged with this mark, you will be a victim of fairy magic. 373 00:24:10,840 --> 00:24:13,241 Wait. Fairy magic can be bad? 374 00:24:13,400 --> 00:24:15,004 Death to the queen! 375 00:24:15,160 --> 00:24:17,162 Death to the usurper! 376 00:24:17,320 --> 00:24:18,970 Death to her manservant! 377 00:24:21,160 --> 00:24:22,650 What? 378 00:24:22,800 --> 00:24:26,600 Well, there's no laptops in Moondoor. There's no Geneva convention either. 379 00:24:26,760 --> 00:24:27,841 Hey. 380 00:24:28,760 --> 00:24:30,444 Have you seen this? 381 00:24:30,600 --> 00:24:31,840 Yeah, of course. 382 00:24:32,000 --> 00:24:33,411 No. No, I haven't seen it. 383 00:24:36,440 --> 00:24:40,525 It's the Shadow King's family crest. You'll never find him in the Black Hills. 384 00:24:40,680 --> 00:24:41,886 The Black Hills? 385 00:24:42,080 --> 00:24:44,811 The forest behind the playground. Come on. 386 00:24:50,480 --> 00:24:52,528 All right. Thank you very much, Gholandria. 387 00:24:52,680 --> 00:24:54,364 Anytime. 388 00:24:54,520 --> 00:24:58,047 I've never done genre mash-up play before. That was fun. 389 00:24:59,120 --> 00:25:01,361 First time for everything, right? 390 00:25:01,600 --> 00:25:05,286 First time for a lot of things if you wanna come find my tent later. 391 00:25:05,480 --> 00:25:06,811 Uh... 392 00:25:08,080 --> 00:25:09,411 Another time. 393 00:25:13,120 --> 00:25:14,451 Your loss. 394 00:25:15,560 --> 00:25:18,643 My queen. There you are. I've been searching everywhere for you. 395 00:25:18,800 --> 00:25:22,566 Has this oaf attempted to harm you with his blasphemous metalworks? 396 00:25:22,720 --> 00:25:25,087 Boltar, he's with me. This is my new... 397 00:25:26,200 --> 00:25:28,407 ...handmaiden. 398 00:25:30,360 --> 00:25:32,727 We seek an audience with the Shadow King. 399 00:25:32,920 --> 00:25:36,925 Oh. These hills are not safe. I beseech you, my queen, you should return to camp. 400 00:25:37,080 --> 00:25:40,004 He's right, Your Worshipfulness. 401 00:25:40,160 --> 00:25:42,970 Uh, may I have a moment before you take your leavings? 402 00:25:43,120 --> 00:25:44,167 Mm. 403 00:25:46,240 --> 00:25:48,527 - Handmaiden? - He was suspicious. I panicked. 404 00:25:48,680 --> 00:25:51,365 All right. Look, you take my phone, find Sam. 405 00:25:51,520 --> 00:25:52,851 We'll find the Shadow Dorks. 406 00:25:53,000 --> 00:25:55,970 - But I can help. - You are helping, by finding Sam. Go. 407 00:26:01,000 --> 00:26:02,729 Lead the way to the Orcs, Bolty. 408 00:26:02,880 --> 00:26:05,042 Speak when spoken to, handmaiden. 409 00:26:48,360 --> 00:26:49,691 - Unh! - Dark magic. 410 00:26:49,840 --> 00:26:55,449 Aah! My eyes! The stinging of your attack burns my very soul. 411 00:27:08,400 --> 00:27:09,925 Dark magic? 412 00:27:19,400 --> 00:27:22,643 Well, that was a bust. You sure the Shadow Orcs are even out there? 413 00:27:22,800 --> 00:27:25,644 Hey, for a handmaiden, you certainly ask many questions. 414 00:27:25,800 --> 00:27:29,327 Yes, I am positive. They're just very good at hiding themselves. 415 00:27:29,480 --> 00:27:33,201 But a plan has sprung to mind that will draw the Shadow King to us. 416 00:27:33,360 --> 00:27:36,364 We shall take the Shadow Orc, offer him as a prisoner exchange. 417 00:27:36,520 --> 00:27:38,204 Draw them out and beat them down. 418 00:27:38,360 --> 00:27:40,840 - I like your style. - I shall retrieve the prisoner. 419 00:27:41,000 --> 00:27:44,846 You tend to the queen's laundry and chamber pots, then meet me back here. 420 00:27:47,240 --> 00:27:48,765 Nice outfit. Ahem. 421 00:27:48,920 --> 00:27:50,649 You love it. 422 00:27:51,240 --> 00:27:55,086 Right. Well, while you were playing dress-up, I found out that the mark... 423 00:27:55,240 --> 00:27:57,481 Belongs to the Shadow Orcs. 424 00:27:59,600 --> 00:28:02,490 Yeah. And they're using fairy magic. 425 00:28:02,760 --> 00:28:04,842 "The Tree of Pain." Awesome. 426 00:28:05,000 --> 00:28:08,209 - Whoever gets marked gets ganked. - All right. How do we stop it? 427 00:28:08,360 --> 00:28:11,807 Find whoever cast the spell. Take them out. No more whammy, no marks. 428 00:28:12,000 --> 00:28:14,002 - No marks, no dead bodies. - Okay. Perfect. 429 00:28:14,160 --> 00:28:17,562 Our pal Boltar the Chatty is getting the Shadow Orc prisoner. 430 00:28:17,720 --> 00:28:20,963 Gonna do a prisoner exchange, try to draw the king out of hiding. 431 00:28:21,120 --> 00:28:22,201 It was my idea. 432 00:28:24,600 --> 00:28:26,523 - Where's Charlie? - She was with you. 433 00:28:26,720 --> 00:28:28,609 No, I sent her to you. 434 00:28:29,720 --> 00:28:31,324 Charlie. 435 00:28:31,520 --> 00:28:32,601 Your Highness? 436 00:28:34,320 --> 00:28:35,970 Charlie. 437 00:28:37,400 --> 00:28:40,802 You know what? She's got my phone. Try it. 438 00:29:05,320 --> 00:29:06,845 Uh... 439 00:29:07,880 --> 00:29:09,405 Hi. 440 00:29:09,800 --> 00:29:13,725 I'm the, uh, Queen of Moons. 441 00:29:13,880 --> 00:29:15,723 Nice to meet you. 442 00:29:17,520 --> 00:29:19,602 Great costume, BT-dubs. 443 00:29:22,640 --> 00:29:26,087 Right. Well, this has been a really great kidnapping... 444 00:29:26,280 --> 00:29:31,286 ...but I gotta get back to not dying. So good talk. 445 00:29:43,640 --> 00:29:49,409 Wow. Real magic. That is really cool, if not mostly terrifying. 446 00:29:49,560 --> 00:29:50,766 Um... 447 00:29:50,920 --> 00:29:53,400 Right. Okay. 448 00:29:53,600 --> 00:29:57,730 We can work this out, can't we? Get you some gold? My crown? 449 00:29:58,320 --> 00:30:00,209 Ritualistic sacrifice? 450 00:30:03,520 --> 00:30:06,683 Look, I am not really a queen. 451 00:30:07,480 --> 00:30:09,323 I'm just an IT girl. 452 00:30:09,800 --> 00:30:12,087 Standing in front of a monster. 453 00:30:12,240 --> 00:30:14,322 Asking it not to kill her. 454 00:30:17,120 --> 00:30:19,600 Great. The worst period of my life comes to an end. 455 00:30:19,760 --> 00:30:24,084 I saw my boss get eaten by a Leviathan, broke my arm, lived life on the run, got it all back. 456 00:30:24,640 --> 00:30:27,086 Now a dude in a stag-skull mask is gonna kill me. 457 00:30:27,240 --> 00:30:28,969 I just want my old life back. 458 00:30:35,360 --> 00:30:36,885 That is all I want as well. 459 00:30:49,680 --> 00:30:51,205 If anything's happened to her... 460 00:30:51,360 --> 00:30:55,160 Dude, we checked all the tents. We'll talk to these guys. We'll find her. 461 00:31:06,080 --> 00:31:08,242 Greetings, heretics. 462 00:31:09,400 --> 00:31:12,131 You should kneel before me, cur. 463 00:31:13,880 --> 00:31:15,689 - All right. Why don't you...? - Silence! 464 00:31:16,160 --> 00:31:18,527 Now, before we exchange... 465 00:31:19,680 --> 00:31:20,806 ...a few announcements. 466 00:31:23,880 --> 00:31:27,043 There is a peewee soccer playoff game tomorrow on the alpha field. 467 00:31:27,200 --> 00:31:29,487 Don't wanna freak the mundanes. We gotta move. 468 00:31:29,640 --> 00:31:31,927 That's it. Gonna do this the old-fashioned way. 469 00:31:32,080 --> 00:31:33,605 - Dean. Don't. Come on. - No. 470 00:31:33,760 --> 00:31:35,205 - I told you there... - Shut up. 471 00:31:35,360 --> 00:31:38,921 All right. I need real answers. This here is a real gun. See? 472 00:31:39,760 --> 00:31:43,321 - Whoa! Whoa! Hold! Hold! Jeez! - Start talking. 473 00:31:43,480 --> 00:31:45,642 - Where's the queen? - I don't know. 474 00:31:45,840 --> 00:31:49,640 Yeah, well, your little family crest there tells a different story, pal. 475 00:31:49,840 --> 00:31:51,251 - This? - Yeah. 476 00:31:51,400 --> 00:31:52,765 Uh... 477 00:31:52,920 --> 00:31:56,288 I got sick last month after this thing just appeared on my arm. 478 00:31:57,600 --> 00:32:00,251 It looked cool, so I turned it into my family crest. 479 00:32:00,400 --> 00:32:03,131 I mean, after my dermatologist said it wasn't malignant. 480 00:32:03,280 --> 00:32:05,521 Dean, he's not our guy. He's just another vic. 481 00:32:05,680 --> 00:32:09,127 My name is Max Hilby. I'm an attorney. I have no idea where the queen is... 482 00:32:09,320 --> 00:32:12,449 ...but if you let me go right now, I won't press charges. 483 00:32:15,160 --> 00:32:16,924 I promise. 484 00:32:18,240 --> 00:32:19,526 Um... 485 00:32:21,680 --> 00:32:24,524 Here, take them. Please. 486 00:32:25,000 --> 00:32:27,651 Go. Go. Go. 487 00:32:31,880 --> 00:32:33,530 What? What? 488 00:32:35,320 --> 00:32:36,810 Is the queen really in danger? 489 00:32:38,760 --> 00:32:41,081 Okay, I noticed something odd down by the creek. 490 00:32:41,240 --> 00:32:44,289 There's this weird tent. It's not one of ours. 491 00:32:45,200 --> 00:32:46,281 It's kind of creepy. 492 00:32:46,480 --> 00:32:49,006 Why are you being so helpful all of a sudden? 493 00:32:49,160 --> 00:32:51,162 Look, I harbor an epic crush on the queen. 494 00:32:52,400 --> 00:32:55,563 Maybe you could put in a good word for me when you find her? 495 00:32:56,360 --> 00:32:58,249 I don't think you're her type. 496 00:32:59,880 --> 00:33:03,646 What, you mean she's not into Orcs? 497 00:33:08,160 --> 00:33:12,802 My name is Gilda. I'm from the Hollow Forest of Arkhmoor. 498 00:33:12,960 --> 00:33:14,086 I'm a fairy. 499 00:33:14,240 --> 00:33:16,163 Hmm. Swoon. 500 00:33:16,920 --> 00:33:20,561 Uh, I mean, how did you get here? 501 00:33:21,480 --> 00:33:23,562 I was summoned here by a spell. 502 00:33:24,040 --> 00:33:25,690 BY Whom? 503 00:33:25,840 --> 00:33:29,242 I don't know his name, but I was brought here to do his bidding. 504 00:33:29,440 --> 00:33:32,091 His bidding? That's never good. 505 00:33:32,800 --> 00:33:36,771 My master, he... 506 00:33:37,400 --> 00:33:40,722 He has me hurt people. He's forcing me to. 507 00:33:40,880 --> 00:33:43,645 I'd never hurt anyone. I'm a fairy. The good kind. 508 00:33:43,800 --> 00:33:45,643 No, no, I get that. 509 00:33:45,800 --> 00:33:47,370 Why is he doing this? 510 00:33:48,280 --> 00:33:50,009 I don't know. 511 00:33:50,160 --> 00:33:54,768 He started off with smaller commands, but he's become more violent. 512 00:33:55,920 --> 00:33:58,048 He had me kill two men this week. 513 00:33:59,240 --> 00:34:02,084 Man, someone is taking this game way too seriously. 514 00:34:02,920 --> 00:34:04,524 Game? 515 00:34:05,560 --> 00:34:08,609 This, my outfit, all of this... 516 00:34:08,760 --> 00:34:10,524 ...it's just a game here. 517 00:34:10,680 --> 00:34:13,047 Why would you play such a game? 518 00:34:13,240 --> 00:34:15,891 This world? Mm, not so much with the awesome. 519 00:34:16,040 --> 00:34:20,443 The game is a way to get away. 520 00:34:20,600 --> 00:34:22,090 Hmm. 521 00:34:22,240 --> 00:34:24,368 It's a lovely forest. 522 00:34:24,520 --> 00:34:27,649 But it's nothing like my home. 523 00:34:28,840 --> 00:34:31,491 Right. So how do we get you back there? 524 00:34:32,520 --> 00:34:35,410 I can't break free from the spell myself. 525 00:34:35,560 --> 00:34:38,962 A hero must take my master's book of magic and destroy it... 526 00:34:39,120 --> 00:34:41,202 ...breaking the spell. 527 00:34:42,400 --> 00:34:43,845 Gilda? 528 00:34:44,000 --> 00:34:45,650 My name is Charlie Bradbury. 529 00:34:46,160 --> 00:34:48,128 And I am here to rescue you. 530 00:34:57,040 --> 00:34:59,202 Why don't you take off? We got it from here. 531 00:34:59,360 --> 00:35:03,729 A handmaiden and a time traveler rescue the queen? I think not, kind lady. 532 00:35:03,880 --> 00:35:07,726 This isn't a game. The queen, our friend, is in real danger. You could get hurt. 533 00:35:07,880 --> 00:35:09,609 I will not leave my queen in peril. 534 00:35:11,480 --> 00:35:13,164 Look, there. 535 00:35:13,960 --> 00:35:16,008 We haven't checked that tent. 536 00:35:36,720 --> 00:35:40,930 Dudes, if the tent is rocking, don't come a-knocking. 537 00:35:41,080 --> 00:35:44,368 No, it's him. My master. Run! 538 00:35:55,560 --> 00:35:57,847 No guns in Moondoor, gentlemen. 539 00:35:58,680 --> 00:36:00,523 Gilda, if you please. 540 00:36:07,800 --> 00:36:08,926 Well, now what, Gerry? 541 00:36:10,600 --> 00:36:13,604 My name is Boltar the Furious! 542 00:36:14,480 --> 00:36:18,963 My plan was, after getting rid of all my competition... 543 00:36:19,120 --> 00:36:20,849 ...to win the battle tomorrow... 544 00:36:21,000 --> 00:36:23,526 ...convincing the queen that I should be her king. 545 00:36:24,320 --> 00:36:27,688 But then you two idiots showed up and I was forced to improvise. 546 00:36:27,840 --> 00:36:30,525 Rescue the damsel in distress from Orcs, become king... 547 00:36:30,680 --> 00:36:32,967 ...kill you both. That'll work too. 548 00:36:33,120 --> 00:36:35,043 So why'd you go from hobbling to murder? 549 00:36:36,000 --> 00:36:39,686 Greyfox and Thargrim became part of the Honor Guard. Got close to the queen. 550 00:36:39,880 --> 00:36:41,644 They did it by breaking the rules... 551 00:36:41,840 --> 00:36:45,208 ...paying off players with real money rather than Moondoor currency. 552 00:36:45,360 --> 00:36:48,045 - They were cheating. - Oh, and using magic isn't? 553 00:36:48,200 --> 00:36:50,009 Magic is a part of Moondoor. 554 00:36:50,160 --> 00:36:52,640 What is your problem? Why would you hurt people? 555 00:36:52,800 --> 00:36:55,485 - This is just a game. - There is no game! 556 00:36:55,640 --> 00:36:57,768 There is only Moondoor. 557 00:36:57,920 --> 00:36:59,649 I came here to be different. 558 00:37:00,520 --> 00:37:02,409 To get away from my crappy life. 559 00:37:02,560 --> 00:37:04,562 To be a hero. And guess what. 560 00:37:04,720 --> 00:37:09,089 What, you were a loser in the real world and you're a loser here? Shocker. 561 00:37:09,280 --> 00:37:11,886 Would a loser track down a real book of spells... 562 00:37:12,080 --> 00:37:14,208 ...and compel a fairy to do his bidding? 563 00:37:14,360 --> 00:37:16,362 Depends. How did you get it? 564 00:37:18,520 --> 00:37:20,204 EBay. 565 00:37:22,920 --> 00:37:26,447 Look, it doesn't have to be like this, Boltar. 566 00:37:27,000 --> 00:37:30,049 Just hand over the book of spells. We can work this out. 567 00:37:30,200 --> 00:37:32,601 This will all work out... 568 00:37:32,760 --> 00:37:35,684 ...after I remove you from the playing field... 569 00:37:35,840 --> 00:37:37,569 ...and wipe her memory. 570 00:37:38,800 --> 00:37:40,040 Gilda? 571 00:37:45,720 --> 00:37:46,881 Gilda, the big one. 572 00:38:01,200 --> 00:38:04,044 I can't stop him. The book, you must destroy it. 573 00:38:11,920 --> 00:38:13,081 Hey, Gerry. 574 00:38:14,240 --> 00:38:16,846 I'm the one who saves damsels in distress around here. 575 00:38:19,720 --> 00:38:21,404 No! 576 00:38:36,160 --> 00:38:37,764 Are you okay? 577 00:38:37,960 --> 00:38:40,008 I'm free of the spell. 578 00:38:40,160 --> 00:38:41,730 You saved me. 579 00:38:41,920 --> 00:38:44,366 The Hollow Forest is forever in your debt. 580 00:38:45,320 --> 00:38:47,527 I must return to those green hills now. 581 00:38:48,760 --> 00:38:51,161 I will take my former master with me. 582 00:38:51,320 --> 00:38:53,926 He must face a fairy tribunal for his sins. 583 00:38:54,080 --> 00:38:55,570 Wait. 584 00:39:08,040 --> 00:39:10,611 Call me, maybe? 585 00:39:15,400 --> 00:39:17,607 So, what's next for you, Charlie? 586 00:39:17,760 --> 00:39:20,240 New town? New identity? 587 00:39:20,400 --> 00:39:22,562 If the last 24 hours has taught me anything... 588 00:39:22,720 --> 00:39:25,121 ...it's that escaping isn't what it used to be. 589 00:39:25,280 --> 00:39:27,089 No more replacement characters for me. 590 00:39:27,800 --> 00:39:29,848 I gotta face reality from now on. 591 00:39:30,000 --> 00:39:32,128 Sadly, reality actually includes monsters... 592 00:39:32,280 --> 00:39:34,487 ...but what are you gonna do? 593 00:39:35,280 --> 00:39:37,806 If I can ever be of help to you guys, let me know. 594 00:39:38,440 --> 00:39:42,161 Will do. And you, uh...? You're good? 595 00:39:43,160 --> 00:39:46,004 Apart from the fact you blocked me from banging a fairy... 596 00:39:46,160 --> 00:39:48,003 ...and I'm about to lose my crown... 597 00:39:48,160 --> 00:39:51,004 ...thanks to my army being decimated? Heh. 598 00:39:51,200 --> 00:39:53,089 Yeah. Totally good. 599 00:39:55,720 --> 00:39:57,768 Smell you later, bitches. 600 00:40:05,720 --> 00:40:07,563 So, what's, uh...? 601 00:40:07,720 --> 00:40:11,247 What's next? Because no fun, right? 602 00:40:12,000 --> 00:40:16,130 Look, before you say anything, I get it. 603 00:40:16,280 --> 00:40:19,523 No amount of fun is gonna help you get over what you gave up. 604 00:40:20,880 --> 00:40:22,723 You just, uh... 605 00:40:22,880 --> 00:40:25,565 You need time. Right? 606 00:40:26,200 --> 00:40:27,725 Yeah. 607 00:40:28,320 --> 00:40:29,924 Thanks. 608 00:40:30,080 --> 00:40:31,764 And you're right. Ahem. 609 00:40:31,920 --> 00:40:33,604 Having fun won't help me. 610 00:40:35,840 --> 00:40:36,966 It'll help both of us. 611 00:40:38,760 --> 00:40:40,489 Shall we? 612 00:40:46,720 --> 00:40:51,123 And dying in your beds many years from now... 613 00:40:51,640 --> 00:40:53,722 ...would you be willing to trade... 614 00:40:53,880 --> 00:40:57,248 ...all the days, from this day to that... 615 00:40:57,760 --> 00:40:59,046 ...for one chance... 616 00:40:59,240 --> 00:41:01,402 - Isn't that the speech from...? - Only one he knows. 617 00:41:01,600 --> 00:41:03,568 ...Just one chance... 618 00:41:04,160 --> 00:41:06,322 ...to come back here... 619 00:41:06,520 --> 00:41:08,443 ...and tell our enemies... 620 00:41:08,600 --> 00:41:11,126 ...that they may take our lives... 621 00:41:11,320 --> 00:41:13,288 - ...but they will never take... - Hold! 622 00:41:18,680 --> 00:41:19,966 - Uh, my bad. - Really? 623 00:41:20,160 --> 00:41:22,561 - Sorry. - You can't be serious. 624 00:41:27,200 --> 00:41:28,531 ...Our freedom! 625 00:41:36,200 --> 00:41:39,761 This episode is dedicated to the men, women, elves... 626 00:41:39,920 --> 00:41:43,811 ...demigods, magi, druids and chamber-pot servants... 627 00:41:43,960 --> 00:41:46,281 ...who gave their lives fighting and winning... 628 00:41:46,480 --> 00:41:49,370 ...for the Queen of Moons in the Battle of Kingdoms. 629 00:41:49,520 --> 00:41:53,206 Go bravely into the next world, fallen soldiers. 48891

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