Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:01:14,199 --> 00:01:15,741
Good evening.
2
00:01:19,830 --> 00:01:24,709
I'm from Essex,
in case you couldn't tell.
3
00:01:25,627 --> 00:01:28,296
My given name is Dickie,
4
00:01:29,340 --> 00:01:33,344
l come from Billericay, and l'm doing. ..
5
00:01:35,012 --> 00:01:37,223
.. .very well!
6
00:01:38,808 --> 00:01:42,519
# Had a love affair with Nina
in the back of my Cortina
7
00:01:42,604 --> 00:01:47,108
# A seasoned up hyena
could not have been more obscener
8
00:01:47,275 --> 00:01:51,946
# She took me to the cleaners
and other misdemeanours
9
00:01:52,030 --> 00:01:55,909
# But l got right up between her
Rum and her Ribena
10
00:01:57,495 --> 00:02:01,164
# Well, you ask Joyce and Vicky
11
00:02:01,666 --> 00:02:05,461
# lf candy-floss is sticky
12
00:02:06,505 --> 00:02:08,506
# l ain't a blinking thicky
13
00:02:08,923 --> 00:02:10,799
# l'm Billericay Dickie
14
00:02:11,010 --> 00:02:14,470
# And l'm doing very well
15
00:02:16,181 --> 00:02:18,349
# l bought a lot of brandy
16
00:02:18,434 --> 00:02:20,810
# When l was courting Sandy
17
00:02:20,895 --> 00:02:23,104
# Took eight to make her randy
18
00:02:23,189 --> 00:02:25,482
# And all l had was shandy
19
00:02:25,691 --> 00:02:28,027
# Another thing with Sandy
20
00:02:28,153 --> 00:02:30,404
# What often came in handy
21
00:02:30,488 --> 00:02:32,740
# Was passing her a mandy
22
00:02:32,824 --> 00:02:35,159
# She didn't half go bandy
23
00:02:35,577 --> 00:02:39,664
# Well, you ask Joyce and Vicky
24
00:02:39,748 --> 00:02:44,002
# lf l ever took the mickey
25
00:02:44,962 --> 00:02:47,047
# l ain't a common thicky
26
00:02:47,131 --> 00:02:49,340
# l'm Billericay Dickie
27
00:02:49,425 --> 00:02:53,595
# And l'm doing very well
28
00:02:54,264 --> 00:02:56,890
# l rendezvous with Janet
29
00:02:56,974 --> 00:02:59,226
# Quite near the Isle of Thanet
30
00:02:59,311 --> 00:03:01,645
# She looked more like a gannet
31
00:03:01,729 --> 00:03:04,065
# She wasn't half a prannet
32
00:03:04,149 --> 00:03:05,858
# Her mother tried to ban it
33
00:03:06,527 --> 00:03:08,695
# Her father helped me plan it
"Go on, son"
34
00:03:09,112 --> 00:03:11,072
# And when l captured Janet
35
00:03:11,365 --> 00:03:13,950
# She bruised her pomegranate
36
00:03:14,035 --> 00:03:16,954
# Oh, you ask Joyce and Vicky
37
00:03:18,539 --> 00:03:22,417
# lf l ever shaped up tricky
38
00:03:24,879 --> 00:03:29,508
Tell him to shut that racket up!
39
00:03:29,593 --> 00:03:32,511
# And l'm doing very well!
40
00:03:32,596 --> 00:03:37,225
# You should never hold a candle
41
00:03:37,309 --> 00:03:40,103
# lf you don't know where it's been
42
00:03:42,106 --> 00:03:45,817
# The jackpot is in the handle
43
00:03:46,777 --> 00:03:50,405
# On a normal fruit machine
44
00:03:51,491 --> 00:03:55,661
# So, you ask Joyce and Vicky
45
00:03:56,747 --> 00:03:59,790
# Who's their favourite brickie
46
00:04:01,377 --> 00:04:03,461
# l ain't a common thicky
47
00:04:03,545 --> 00:04:05,881
# l'm Billericay Dickie
48
00:04:05,965 --> 00:04:10,343
# And l'm doing very well
49
00:04:10,887 --> 00:04:15,056
# So, you ask Joyce and Vicky
50
00:04:17,269 --> 00:04:20,562
# About Billericay Dickie
51
00:04:22,607 --> 00:04:25,151
# l ain't a fucking thicky
l'm Billericay Dickie
52
00:04:25,402 --> 00:04:29,739
# And l'm doing very well #
53
00:04:38,624 --> 00:04:40,458
One, two, one. ..
54
00:04:55,475 --> 00:04:59,563
Whoa! Whoa, whoa, whoa.
No, hold on, hold on.
55
00:05:00,022 --> 00:05:02,023
-Your timing's off, mate.
-Well, you're out of tune.
56
00:05:02,107 --> 00:05:04,526
This ain't jazz. Learn to play
drums and I'll learn to sing in tune.
57
00:05:04,610 --> 00:05:06,069
Let's be nice, lads.
58
00:05:06,154 --> 00:05:07,987
How can you tell
if a stage is level?
59
00:05:08,073 --> 00:05:10,157
'Cause the drummer dribbles
out of both sides of his mouth!
60
00:05:11,159 --> 00:05:12,952
-Yeah, very bleedin' funny.
-Not as funny as this, mate.
61
00:05:13,036 --> 00:05:14,662
-You're fucking fired!
-What?
62
00:05:14,746 --> 00:05:16,496
-Oh, not again!
Oh, yes!
63
00:05:16,582 --> 00:05:18,373
-Oh, I'll take the equipment, then.
-All right.
64
00:05:18,459 --> 00:05:20,835
Your body odour smells
like a fucking orang-utan on heat.
65
00:05:20,919 --> 00:05:22,420
You smell like
your mother's cock and balls.
66
00:05:22,504 --> 00:05:24,089
Two fucking cymbals, mate.
67
00:05:24,173 --> 00:05:25,631
-Come on, then.
Who wants him out?
68
00:05:35,226 --> 00:05:37,227
I've just given birth. Any chance
you could keep the noise down?
69
00:05:37,312 --> 00:05:38,979
Oh!
70
00:05:43,068 --> 00:05:44,651
It's a boy.
71
00:05:44,736 --> 00:05:46,487
You are so clever.
72
00:05:49,617 --> 00:05:51,701
I'll be in the kitchen, all right?
73
00:05:59,961 --> 00:06:01,669
Now look what you done.
74
00:06:15,060 --> 00:06:17,353
We're all on our own now, son.
75
00:06:19,940 --> 00:06:21,482
Now listen, you monkeys.
76
00:06:23,444 --> 00:06:26,029
Stories are what we tell ourselves
77
00:06:26,238 --> 00:06:29,574
to make ourselves feel better
about ourselves.
78
00:06:29,659 --> 00:06:34,538
So, never let the truth
get in the way of a good story.
79
00:06:35,874 --> 00:06:38,208
Once upon a time,
80
00:06:38,919 --> 00:06:43,214
in a mystical land far, far away,
81
00:06:43,299 --> 00:06:45,300
weIl, Southend-on-Sea,
82
00:06:45,384 --> 00:06:47,677
a young prince holidayed.
83
00:06:47,761 --> 00:06:50,138
His name was lan Dury.
84
00:06:50,681 --> 00:06:55,101
He was handsome, healthy,
highly intelligent.
85
00:06:55,186 --> 00:06:58,397
And brilliant at swimming.
86
00:06:58,481 --> 00:07:00,191
Oh!
87
00:07:08,033 --> 00:07:10,993
Look at me.
Weren't l a lovely little chap?
88
00:07:19,920 --> 00:07:25,050
But in the pool, evil lurked.
89
00:07:28,722 --> 00:07:34,602
lts name was polio.
A water-borne contamination.
90
00:07:34,686 --> 00:07:38,647
A virus, and when it gets
into your system, you've had it.
91
00:07:40,484 --> 00:07:42,193
Pay attention, chaps!
92
00:07:43,195 --> 00:07:45,989
The polio virus, a.k.a. the crippler.
93
00:07:46,115 --> 00:07:48,825
lt attacks the nervous system
here, here and here.
94
00:07:48,909 --> 00:07:51,786
Makes you bloody nervous
'cause it can bloody well kill you!
95
00:07:52,163 --> 00:07:56,500
It infIames the brainstem,
fucks with the spinal cord,
96
00:07:56,584 --> 00:07:59,461
leading to paralysis
and muscular wasting.
97
00:07:59,755 --> 00:08:03,466
Lock up your children. No one is safe!
98
00:08:03,550 --> 00:08:06,010
A monstrous epidemic.
99
00:08:18,733 --> 00:08:20,276
Daddy!
100
00:09:04,907 --> 00:09:07,742
Bloody hell. It's the Muppets!
101
00:09:15,835 --> 00:09:18,170
We are the band.
102
00:09:18,254 --> 00:09:20,339
You've got to be joking?
103
00:09:25,178 --> 00:09:27,722
We was going to call ourselves
Cripple, Nigger, Yid,
104
00:09:27,806 --> 00:09:29,182
Chink and Dead Fish,
105
00:09:30,601 --> 00:09:32,435
but we didn't get any bookings.
106
00:09:33,020 --> 00:09:35,689
Could you direct us
to the artistes' dressing rooms?
107
00:09:40,987 --> 00:09:42,904
Oh, you are so gonna miss all of this.
108
00:09:43,323 --> 00:09:46,367
When we've made our millions and
we're playing Hammersmith Odeon.. .
109
00:09:46,451 --> 00:09:49,328
Why, don't they have three inches
of piss in the dressing rooms?
110
00:09:49,662 --> 00:09:53,290
Nah, it's all shag pile carpets
and extraordinary acoustics.
111
00:09:56,086 --> 00:10:00,590
# For he's a jolly good fellow
For he's a jolly good fellow.. . #
112
00:10:01,134 --> 00:10:03,135
Oi. Did you hear the one
about the dyslexic pimp
113
00:10:03,219 --> 00:10:04,344
who set up a warehouse?
114
00:10:07,932 --> 00:10:09,432
Go on, my son!
115
00:10:09,517 --> 00:10:10,976
# And so say all of us #
116
00:10:11,060 --> 00:10:12,853
Yay!
117
00:10:13,438 --> 00:10:15,022
Is Dad coming?
118
00:10:15,565 --> 00:10:17,525
Hey, what do you call a man
with paper trousers?
119
00:10:17,692 --> 00:10:19,318
Russell.
120
00:10:20,237 --> 00:10:21,654
Hope you don't mind me
saying so, Russell,
121
00:10:21,738 --> 00:10:24,490
but you are being
a rather miserable old cunt.
122
00:10:24,574 --> 00:10:26,034
What do you think
we should spend our money on?
123
00:10:26,118 --> 00:10:30,038
I don't know. Birthday presents?
Birthday hats? Birthday cards?
124
00:10:33,668 --> 00:10:35,669
Hey, everyone!
Let's give him the bumps!
125
00:10:35,753 --> 00:10:37,671
Let's give him the bumps!
126
00:10:40,216 --> 00:10:41,676
Well, l'd just like to say
127
00:10:41,760 --> 00:10:44,386
that you've been a monumentally
atrocious audience tonight,
128
00:10:44,471 --> 00:10:46,972
apart from the faithful few
at the front, it's the worst gig.. .
129
00:10:47,057 --> 00:10:48,683
Yes, a big hand for you lot.
130
00:10:48,767 --> 00:10:51,019
lt's the worst gig we've ever played
since Sidcup Crematorium.
131
00:10:52,729 --> 00:10:55,565
But we'd like to finish anyway
with a song called Blackmail Man.
132
00:10:55,649 --> 00:10:58,610
- One! Two!
- One, two. One, two, three, four!
133
00:10:59,696 --> 00:11:01,697
Three! Four!
134
00:11:05,076 --> 00:11:09,246
# l'm an lrish cripple, a Scottish Jew
l'm the blackmail man
135
00:11:09,331 --> 00:11:13,084
# A raspberry ripple, a buckle my shoe
l'm the blackmail man
136
00:11:13,168 --> 00:11:14,919
# A silvery spoon,
a bubble and squeak
137
00:11:15,003 --> 00:11:16,504
# l'm the blackmail man
138
00:11:16,922 --> 00:11:19,256
# Well, l'm the blackmail man and
l know what you do, every one of you
139
00:11:19,342 --> 00:11:20,717
# l'm the blackmail man
140
00:11:20,801 --> 00:11:22,594
# You make me sick,
make me Tom and Dick
141
00:11:22,678 --> 00:11:24,596
# Blackmail man, blackmail man
142
00:11:27,851 --> 00:11:31,979
I wouldn't have booked 'em if I'd known.
What a load of shite.
143
00:11:32,772 --> 00:11:34,189
Can't hold a tune.
144
00:11:41,823 --> 00:11:44,242
Come on, Russell, get it right,
you doughnut.
145
00:11:44,326 --> 00:11:47,161
- You're fucking shit! Get off!
- Fuck off!
146
00:11:49,248 --> 00:11:52,626
Russ! Where are you going?
Russell, wait. Wait!
147
00:11:52,835 --> 00:11:54,711
# Fraser and Nash pony and trap
148
00:11:54,795 --> 00:11:56,713
# Up your 'arris, in your mince
149
00:11:56,797 --> 00:12:00,009
# Hamptons don't leave fingerprints
l'm the blackmail man
150
00:12:05,807 --> 00:12:07,850
Call that singing? You're shit.
151
00:12:07,934 --> 00:12:09,394
Fuck off!
152
00:12:14,400 --> 00:12:17,861
I'm more of an Emerson, Lake
and Palmer man myself.
153
00:12:29,374 --> 00:12:31,458
I thought you were fucking great.
154
00:12:32,460 --> 00:12:33,920
Really?
155
00:12:35,631 --> 00:12:38,716
Great as in celebrated,
156
00:12:39,843 --> 00:12:43,263
illustrious, famous?
157
00:12:45,141 --> 00:12:50,270
Or great as in large, fat, bloated?
158
00:12:51,064 --> 00:12:53,691
Something you do
to a nutmeg, perhaps?
159
00:12:54,526 --> 00:12:56,402
Great as in great!
160
00:12:57,654 --> 00:12:59,112
And I should know.
161
00:12:59,906 --> 00:13:01,615
I saw Jimi Hendrix before anyone.
162
00:13:02,159 --> 00:13:03,617
-Really?
-Mmm-hmm.
163
00:13:03,702 --> 00:13:08,582
Tell me. Was Jimi. ..nice?
164
00:13:08,791 --> 00:13:11,960
Yeah. He was extremely polite.
165
00:13:13,087 --> 00:13:14,713
So, do you always wear those glasses?
166
00:13:14,797 --> 00:13:17,048
For your protection, my dear.
167
00:13:21,346 --> 00:13:25,641
I am very, very good with women.
168
00:13:26,977 --> 00:13:29,645
I used to live with me mum
and her two sisters.
169
00:13:30,606 --> 00:13:33,274
I like women so much,
170
00:13:34,276 --> 00:13:37,153
I used to think
I was a repressed homosexual.
171
00:13:39,406 --> 00:13:40,949
But I'm not.
172
00:13:41,408 --> 00:13:45,871
Fortuitously, I am gorgeous to look at.
173
00:13:49,459 --> 00:13:52,003
Can I tickle your tonsils, please, miss?
174
00:13:54,256 --> 00:13:55,965
-Maybe.
-Mmm.
175
00:13:57,009 --> 00:13:59,218
You have to be extremely polite.
176
00:14:01,304 --> 00:14:03,640
Oi, sling your hook.
177
00:14:03,724 --> 00:14:05,308
Just pay up what was agreed.
178
00:14:05,393 --> 00:14:07,727
I didn't agree to a bunch of spazzers
from the mental home.
179
00:14:07,811 --> 00:14:10,147
You see, that's just not
a very spiritual thing to say!
180
00:14:10,231 --> 00:14:12,315
Well, have a look at your drummer!
181
00:14:12,651 --> 00:14:14,067
What's the problem?
182
00:14:14,152 --> 00:14:15,569
He can't leave the stage
at the interval.
183
00:14:15,654 --> 00:14:17,070
So?
184
00:14:17,155 --> 00:14:18,947
Well, it don't happen
to fuckin' Pink Floyd, does it?
185
00:14:19,032 --> 00:14:21,617
And as for Long John Silver.. .
Oi, mate, you puttin' it on?
186
00:14:21,701 --> 00:14:23,161
You didn't limp like that on stage.
187
00:14:23,245 --> 00:14:24,703
Oh, no. On stage I try to hover.
188
00:14:24,788 --> 00:14:27,665
Look, I'm sure we can come
to some friendly agreement.
189
00:14:27,750 --> 00:14:30,084
Yeah, we can agree you can't sing,
you're past it
190
00:14:30,169 --> 00:14:31,836
and you look like a Potato Jesus.
191
00:14:31,921 --> 00:14:34,005
-No offence.
-None taken,
192
00:14:34,507 --> 00:14:36,300
you fat-ankled fucker.
193
00:14:37,218 --> 00:14:38,677
Fat ankles?
194
00:14:40,055 --> 00:14:42,431
I might be a fucking cripple, mate,
but I'm dangerous, all right?
195
00:14:42,808 --> 00:14:45,100
You wanna sort out your inner calm.
196
00:14:45,811 --> 00:14:47,436
Nice one, Davey, go on.
197
00:14:49,355 --> 00:14:51,607
Go on, my son, get in there!
198
00:15:01,953 --> 00:15:04,370
Russell. Russ,
we need to talk about this.
199
00:15:04,997 --> 00:15:08,875
There you are. There's your millions.
Joke money, joke life.
200
00:15:09,877 --> 00:15:11,337
It's over, mate. We're going nowhere.
201
00:15:11,421 --> 00:15:13,339
Russ, why you got to say
things like that?
202
00:15:13,631 --> 00:15:15,049
I quit.
203
00:15:15,133 --> 00:15:17,051
Nobody quits.
Quitting is not in the vocabulary.
204
00:15:17,135 --> 00:15:20,221
Yeah? What about "Fuck you, Ian"?
Is that in the vocabulary?
205
00:15:20,598 --> 00:15:22,849
-What did you say?
-Nothing.
206
00:15:26,019 --> 00:15:30,398
Go on, then. Go on.
I don't fucking need you.
207
00:15:30,483 --> 00:15:32,943
What do you mean?
I write the music, I drive the van.
208
00:15:33,027 --> 00:15:34,695
I carry you up the stairs
when you're pissed.
209
00:15:34,779 --> 00:15:36,154
I make the fucking sandwiches.
210
00:15:36,239 --> 00:15:38,491
Can you drive?
Yeah, see, she can drive.
211
00:15:38,575 --> 00:15:40,868
And I bet she can make fucking
sandwiches and all.
212
00:15:40,952 --> 00:15:43,746
Russell, come on. Look, we're talking,
mate. We're trying to talk!
213
00:15:43,830 --> 00:15:45,331
Russell!
214
00:15:45,749 --> 00:15:48,667
Right, you're fucking fired.
You are, you're fired.
215
00:15:48,878 --> 00:15:51,254
You didn't quit, you were fired!
216
00:16:09,858 --> 00:16:11,567
-Yes? Do I know you?
-No.
217
00:16:11,735 --> 00:16:13,861
Well, do us a favour
and fuck off, will you?
218
00:16:17,116 --> 00:16:19,367
Hey, Ian, you know that geezer's
a keys player.
219
00:16:21,203 --> 00:16:24,915
-That's not very polite, is it?
It's like being back at school.
220
00:16:24,999 --> 00:16:27,042
-Are you a groupie?
-No, musician.
221
00:16:27,126 --> 00:16:28,502
-What do you play?
-Oi.
222
00:16:28,586 --> 00:16:30,712
Sorry about that. Where you
think you're going, you little monkey?
223
00:16:30,797 --> 00:16:33,257
That was out of order back there.
It's the drink, you know, so. ..
224
00:16:33,341 --> 00:16:37,469
It's like bad breath for the mind.
Someone said that you play keyboards.
225
00:16:37,554 --> 00:16:39,722
Yeah. I play a little piano and guitar.
226
00:16:39,807 --> 00:16:42,391
Oh, wow. Well, we don't have
any little ones, only the big sort.
227
00:16:42,893 --> 00:16:44,602
-What's your name?
-Chaz.
228
00:16:44,687 --> 00:16:46,020
-Chaz.
-Chaz Jankel.
229
00:16:46,104 --> 00:16:47,939
Chaz Jankel? Very avant-garde.
230
00:16:48,357 --> 00:16:50,733
Tell you what. Why don't you
come over tomorrow, hey?
231
00:16:50,818 --> 00:16:52,777
After all, you know what they say.
232
00:16:53,112 --> 00:16:56,406
"The more interesting a man,
the greyer his trousers."
233
00:16:56,490 --> 00:17:00,327
But they also say, "You're never alone
with schizophrenia."
234
00:17:00,412 --> 00:17:01,995
So what the fuck do they know?
235
00:17:02,080 --> 00:17:06,209
But it's true,
we are alI on our own, aren't we?
236
00:17:06,293 --> 00:17:07,876
Oh, no, you're not!
237
00:17:07,962 --> 00:17:11,089
- Oh, yes, l am!
- Oh, no, you're not!
238
00:17:11,173 --> 00:17:12,841
The young prince was.
239
00:17:13,300 --> 00:17:16,886
He was gonna die.
Death was his bedfellow.
240
00:17:18,013 --> 00:17:21,975
Some whispered,
"Oh, it might be better after all.
241
00:17:22,060 --> 00:17:24,853
"l mean, what sort of quality of life?"
242
00:17:24,938 --> 00:17:28,858
A cripple? A raspberry ripple?
243
00:17:33,154 --> 00:17:37,533
But in the morning, he was still there!
244
00:17:38,702 --> 00:17:41,662
You see, it's not the size
of the dog in the fight,
245
00:17:41,998 --> 00:17:44,833
but the size of the fight in the dog!
246
00:17:45,126 --> 00:17:47,168
Magnificent!
247
00:17:49,213 --> 00:17:52,258
TroubIe is, there's no cure for it.
248
00:17:53,676 --> 00:17:55,177
Just like love.
249
00:17:56,221 --> 00:17:58,264
There's no cure for that, neither.
250
00:18:19,412 --> 00:18:22,956
Oi! Oi! Daddy's home!
251
00:18:27,129 --> 00:18:28,837
Your dad's here.
252
00:18:32,885 --> 00:18:37,096
And now, then, let's see
what the old clot has got.
253
00:18:38,140 --> 00:18:40,141
For you, Jemima darling.. .
254
00:18:41,519 --> 00:18:43,270
Boing!
255
00:18:44,147 --> 00:18:49,568
And for you, my son. .. For your
birthday. Better late than never.
256
00:18:58,287 --> 00:19:01,914
So powerful no man could stop him.
257
00:19:16,556 --> 00:19:18,224
Rubbish.
258
00:19:28,902 --> 00:19:33,323
Don't make me angry.
You won't like it when I'm angry!
259
00:19:34,075 --> 00:19:36,576
Dr Banner, you're changing!
260
00:19:39,455 --> 00:19:44,251
But with pain comes power!
Hulk is strong!
261
00:19:51,676 --> 00:19:55,429
. ..he doesn't need you turning
up out of the blue bringing gifts.
262
00:19:55,806 --> 00:19:57,516
He needs a father!
263
00:19:57,600 --> 00:19:59,434
He's got a father. I'm his father.
264
00:19:59,727 --> 00:20:01,603
He needs a father who's around!
265
00:20:01,687 --> 00:20:03,772
I'm around!
I mean, well, I come around.
266
00:20:03,856 --> 00:20:05,315
I was here when he was born, wasn't I?
267
00:20:05,400 --> 00:20:07,902
Just downstairs, I mean,
not a lot of fathers can say that!
268
00:20:14,117 --> 00:20:17,370
Found a couple that survived.
There's only two left.
269
00:20:18,038 --> 00:20:21,457
He's been missing school.
And stealing.
270
00:20:22,376 --> 00:20:24,210
Well, that's all right.
All boys do that.
271
00:20:25,004 --> 00:20:29,090
It's a boy thing, isn't it?
A packet of fags, dirty magazine.
272
00:20:29,926 --> 00:20:31,510
In fact, it's good.
A sign of intelligence.
273
00:20:31,594 --> 00:20:33,470
Shows a sensitivity about the world.
274
00:20:33,805 --> 00:20:36,056
-And he's being bullied.
-By who?
275
00:20:36,933 --> 00:20:38,350
I told him not to retaliate.
276
00:20:38,435 --> 00:20:40,477
You don't wanna do that. He wants to
give 'em a bloody good smacking.
277
00:20:40,562 --> 00:20:42,939
Yeah, well, that's why he needs to
come and stay with you for a while.
278
00:20:43,023 --> 00:20:44,982
No, no, no.
279
00:20:45,400 --> 00:20:46,901
He needs you at the moment.
280
00:20:49,405 --> 00:20:53,032
Look, I'm on the verge of something,
things are happening.
281
00:20:56,079 --> 00:20:57,871
I've been offered some work
at the Academy.
282
00:20:59,958 --> 00:21:01,374
Good.
283
00:21:01,459 --> 00:21:05,337
One of us needs to earn and I can't do
it stuck out here in the country.
284
00:21:08,383 --> 00:21:10,634
I've always encouraged you, Ian.
285
00:21:12,930 --> 00:21:14,513
Now it's your turn.
286
00:21:21,897 --> 00:21:24,148
-Is Dad gone?
-Left about an hour ago.
287
00:21:45,381 --> 00:21:46,797
Looks all right.
288
00:21:48,175 --> 00:21:52,554
Blimey! How many more steps?
I'm not Sherpa bloody Tenzing.
289
00:21:52,805 --> 00:21:55,641
It's Oval Mansions.
We get to live in a mansion together.
290
00:21:56,934 --> 00:21:58,644
Catshit Mansions more like.
291
00:22:25,465 --> 00:22:26,924
All right.
292
00:22:28,593 --> 00:22:31,970
What colour for the walls?
Would you say white?
293
00:22:32,306 --> 00:22:34,933
Nah, that's too institutional.
294
00:22:35,225 --> 00:22:37,601
-Blue, then?
-No, too constitutional.
295
00:22:38,896 --> 00:22:42,023
It should be. ..claret. Yeah.
296
00:22:42,274 --> 00:22:44,984
Yeah, the colour of blood. Passion.
297
00:22:45,528 --> 00:22:47,279
And a sort of booze.
298
00:22:48,114 --> 00:22:50,074
-You up for it?
-Mmm-hmm.
299
00:22:51,827 --> 00:22:53,452
I. ..
300
00:22:54,120 --> 00:22:56,956
I can do anything. If you teach me.
301
00:23:16,268 --> 00:23:18,186
What's wrong?
302
00:23:18,271 --> 00:23:19,855
We're going to have to switch places
303
00:23:19,939 --> 00:23:22,858
'cause I'm struggling to undo your
buttons here with my dodgy left hand.
304
00:23:30,576 --> 00:23:32,869
Or you can do it, I don't mind.
305
00:23:43,547 --> 00:23:45,507
# l come awake
306
00:23:46,843 --> 00:23:49,470
# With a gift for womankind
307
00:23:51,640 --> 00:23:53,891
# You're still asleep
308
00:23:55,102 --> 00:23:57,645
# But the gift don't seem to mind
309
00:23:59,481 --> 00:24:01,900
# Rise on this occasion
310
00:24:02,026 --> 00:24:03,693
Not too bad.
Have you done this before?
311
00:24:03,778 --> 00:24:05,737
# Halfway up your back
312
00:24:07,615 --> 00:24:09,616
# Sliding down your body
313
00:24:11,619 --> 00:24:13,662
# Touching your behind
314
00:24:15,373 --> 00:24:18,083
# You look so self-possessed
315
00:24:18,168 --> 00:24:19,544
Aw!
316
00:24:19,628 --> 00:24:22,505
# l won't disturb your rest
317
00:24:23,257 --> 00:24:26,801
# lt's lovely when you're sleeping
318
00:24:27,469 --> 00:24:30,346
# But wide awake is best
319
00:24:31,473 --> 00:24:35,101
# Wake up and make love with me
320
00:24:35,520 --> 00:24:38,939
# Wake up and make love
321
00:24:39,649 --> 00:24:43,319
# Wake up and make love with me
322
00:24:43,653 --> 00:24:45,279
# l don't want to make you
323
00:24:45,363 --> 00:24:47,198
# l'll let the fancy take you
324
00:24:47,282 --> 00:24:51,035
# And you'll wake up and make love
325
00:24:59,670 --> 00:25:02,172
# You come awake
326
00:25:03,174 --> 00:25:06,009
# ln a horny morning mood
327
00:25:07,386 --> 00:25:09,805
# And have a proper wriggle
328
00:25:11,683 --> 00:25:14,852
# ln the naughty naked nude
329
00:25:15,604 --> 00:25:17,563
# Roll against my body
330
00:25:19,691 --> 00:25:21,901
# Get me where you want me
331
00:25:23,445 --> 00:25:25,739
# What happens next is private
332
00:25:33,498 --> 00:25:35,082
What are you doing?
333
00:25:37,919 --> 00:25:39,503
This is Denise.
334
00:25:39,588 --> 00:25:42,715
-Hello, Denise.
-That's Baxter.
335
00:25:43,800 --> 00:25:45,385
Hello, Baxter.
336
00:25:45,927 --> 00:25:48,972
Your door's unlocked.
Mum's putting the kettle on.
337
00:25:50,182 --> 00:25:51,641
Nice.
338
00:25:53,352 --> 00:25:54,936
Go on then, off you pop.
339
00:26:00,985 --> 00:26:04,029
Thanks so much for this. So kind.
340
00:26:04,114 --> 00:26:06,532
-Takes quite a lot to make a home.
-Yeah.
341
00:26:08,285 --> 00:26:10,787
"Home is the place, no matter what
you've done, they have to let you in."
342
00:26:10,871 --> 00:26:12,789
That's what Ian says.
343
00:26:14,417 --> 00:26:16,083
-So you're a bass player?
-Bass player,
344
00:26:16,168 --> 00:26:20,130
sandwich-maker, personal manager.
Sole driver of a van full of nutters.
345
00:26:22,341 --> 00:26:24,717
We're looking forward
to having Baxter stay.
346
00:26:24,803 --> 00:26:26,845
Any time you need help we're here.
347
00:26:26,930 --> 00:26:28,806
Yeah, um.. .
348
00:26:29,766 --> 00:26:33,185
He's a little fussy,
he doesn't like tomatoes,
349
00:26:33,353 --> 00:26:36,730
-fruit of any kind, potatoes. ..
-Like father like son, eh?
350
00:26:39,151 --> 00:26:44,030
-How old are you, Denise?
-I'm almost 20.
351
00:26:45,866 --> 00:26:47,366
Oh!
352
00:26:51,164 --> 00:26:52,997
-I'm sorry about that.
-It was always heavy for me, too.
353
00:27:08,307 --> 00:27:10,225
Is that Elvis Presley?
354
00:27:13,562 --> 00:27:16,898
Don't they teach you any
classical history at school these days?
355
00:27:18,442 --> 00:27:19,985
That's Gene Vincent.
356
00:27:20,945 --> 00:27:23,405
Scramble-egged his leg
in a bike accident.
357
00:27:25,492 --> 00:27:27,451
Him and Eddie Cochran
358
00:27:28,203 --> 00:27:31,663
were the brightest stars
in the firmament
359
00:27:31,749 --> 00:27:37,086
when they climbed into a cab
outside the Savoy, April 1 6th, 1 960.
360
00:27:39,423 --> 00:27:42,800
Two hours later,
they hit a hairpin bend.
361
00:27:45,138 --> 00:27:46,930
Crash!
362
00:27:47,306 --> 00:27:52,019
Eddie Cochran is lying
dying in his own blood.
363
00:27:53,730 --> 00:27:59,193
And who hands Sweet Gene
his guitar that night outside the hotel?
364
00:28:00,320 --> 00:28:02,947
A 1 4-year-old Marc Bolan,
365
00:28:03,032 --> 00:28:06,159
who marries Pink Floyd's
management secretary,
366
00:28:06,243 --> 00:28:09,328
who signs me to Stiff Records.
367
00:28:13,042 --> 00:28:14,751
Shake my hand.
368
00:28:22,844 --> 00:28:25,345
You're only five steps away
from greatness.
369
00:28:27,974 --> 00:28:29,767
-Stiff?
-Stiff, yeah.
370
00:28:29,851 --> 00:28:31,894
Their motto is "If it ain't Stiff,
it ain't worth a fuck!"
371
00:28:32,604 --> 00:28:34,480
How's school?
372
00:28:34,899 --> 00:28:36,817
Headmistress is a bit of
a stuck-up old cow.
373
00:28:36,901 --> 00:28:40,987
Oi, language, bit of respect.
Education's important.
374
00:28:42,574 --> 00:28:45,784
Delacroix, French, Frenchman he was,
painter, he said,
375
00:28:45,868 --> 00:28:48,079
"Inspiration is getting to our studies
at 9 a.m."
376
00:28:51,541 --> 00:28:53,084
Go on, hit it.
377
00:29:13,898 --> 00:29:15,316
You know
what I'm talking about,
378
00:29:15,400 --> 00:29:17,109
you barely said two words
to the woman.
379
00:29:17,193 --> 00:29:19,862
-You can't treat people like that.
-Don't give me that load of old bollock.
380
00:29:19,946 --> 00:29:21,655
Bet and I have got
a special relationship.
381
00:29:21,740 --> 00:29:23,116
Exactly, she's your wife.
382
00:29:23,200 --> 00:29:25,451
Yeah, based on love and trust
and understanding.
383
00:29:25,535 --> 00:29:28,454
What, and taking the piss?
You were really fucking rude, Ian.
384
00:29:28,539 --> 00:29:31,791
It was the past, all right?
It's a separate existence.
385
00:29:32,752 --> 00:29:36,046
Anyway, I asked you to marry me,
you keep saying no.
386
00:29:36,131 --> 00:29:38,423
This isn't a joke.
You've got children.
387
00:29:38,508 --> 00:29:40,843
You are never gonna be separate.
Do you understand that?
388
00:29:40,927 --> 00:29:44,597
Excuse me,
I'm trying to sleep.
389
00:30:16,131 --> 00:30:19,175
# My old man
was fairly handsome
390
00:30:22,846 --> 00:30:25,348
# Later on he drove a Roller
391
00:30:26,142 --> 00:30:28,476
# Chauffeuring for foreign men
392
00:30:36,861 --> 00:30:38,446
Daddy!
393
00:30:40,657 --> 00:30:42,783
# Perhaps he had to keep his distance
394
00:30:47,247 --> 00:30:49,874
# My old man was fairly handsome
395
00:30:53,838 --> 00:30:55,380
You all right, boy?
396
00:31:00,011 --> 00:31:01,428
Come on.
397
00:31:01,762 --> 00:31:04,473
Boxers always touch themselves
on the side of the face to remind them
398
00:31:04,557 --> 00:31:05,975
to keep their guard up.
399
00:31:06,059 --> 00:31:09,604
That's it. Move your feet, come on.
Move your feet, move about.
400
00:31:10,021 --> 00:31:12,232
That's it. Keep moving about.
401
00:31:12,733 --> 00:31:15,443
You're too square on.
Move around the side.
402
00:31:15,527 --> 00:31:17,362
Good, orthodox, lovely.
403
00:31:17,446 --> 00:31:19,197
All them southpaws
should be buried at birth.
404
00:31:19,281 --> 00:31:21,532
Where are you going?
That's it, stand up. All right.
405
00:31:21,743 --> 00:31:24,077
Now move about, on the balls
of your feet if you can.
406
00:31:24,161 --> 00:31:27,080
That's it. Plenty of that.
Plenty of leg movement.
407
00:31:27,999 --> 00:31:30,876
When you're ready,
I want you to take a swing at me.
408
00:31:31,003 --> 00:31:32,920
All right? Give me your best shot.
Come on.
409
00:31:36,466 --> 00:31:38,676
All the best, mate, from your son.
410
00:31:38,761 --> 00:31:43,306
Turtle! Turtle! Turtle! Turtle!
411
00:31:45,393 --> 00:31:46,934
What's all this?
412
00:31:53,109 --> 00:31:55,193
You have to get up on your own.
413
00:31:55,820 --> 00:31:57,696
That's the rule here, isn't it,
children?
414
00:31:57,781 --> 00:31:59,323
Yes, Mr Hargreaves.
415
00:31:59,574 --> 00:32:03,619
I'm not staying here.
My daddy's coming to take me away.
416
00:32:03,703 --> 00:32:06,330
Oh, your daddy, eh? Good for you.
417
00:32:12,421 --> 00:32:14,589
Shape up.
You got to be brave, all right?
418
00:32:14,715 --> 00:32:18,718
No one's taking liberties with you, boy.
Give me your best shot, come on.
419
00:32:23,183 --> 00:32:24,809
All right?
420
00:32:26,895 --> 00:32:29,188
No, you gotta stand on your own.
421
00:32:34,027 --> 00:32:35,320
All right.
422
00:32:35,821 --> 00:32:38,448
All right. Well done, son. You did good.
423
00:32:39,658 --> 00:32:41,785
But no one out there is gonna help you.
424
00:32:41,869 --> 00:32:43,453
Now that's seems harsh, I know,
425
00:32:43,537 --> 00:32:46,748
but you're born on your own,
you die on your own.
426
00:32:47,249 --> 00:32:49,251
And in between,
you earn your own respect.
427
00:32:51,129 --> 00:32:52,713
Never give up, never.
428
00:32:52,797 --> 00:32:55,466
And never step into a dead man's
shoes. You know what that means?
429
00:32:59,137 --> 00:33:00,930
It means you gotta do it for yourself.
430
00:33:02,307 --> 00:33:05,017
Being the underdog with nothing to lose
is the best place to start.
431
00:33:07,188 --> 00:33:09,856
l'm doing pretty good at the moment,
you know. Yeah?
432
00:33:09,941 --> 00:33:13,777
I got one or two proper deals
on the go. Money owed.
433
00:33:14,237 --> 00:33:17,197
I got a nice penthouse in Old Victoria,
I'm happy with me digs.
434
00:33:20,535 --> 00:33:23,829
You should come and see me.
Would you like that?
435
00:33:25,332 --> 00:33:28,001
Would you? Yeah, I'd like that.
436
00:33:38,429 --> 00:33:40,972
# My old man #
437
00:34:04,999 --> 00:34:06,875
Dad? Dad?
438
00:34:09,379 --> 00:34:12,673
-What time is it?
-Lunchtime.
439
00:34:21,892 --> 00:34:24,394
-Is that your mum?
-It's the school on the phone.
440
00:34:24,478 --> 00:34:26,187
It's the headmistress.
441
00:34:28,816 --> 00:34:31,068
Hello? Hello?
442
00:34:31,194 --> 00:34:32,694
Hello?
443
00:34:32,778 --> 00:34:34,612
This is Baxter's headmistress.
ls that Mr Dury?
444
00:34:34,697 --> 00:34:36,489
Yes. Mr Dury speaking. Yes.
445
00:34:36,574 --> 00:34:38,033
Are you aware
that Baxter had school today?
446
00:34:38,117 --> 00:34:39,535
-Mmm-hmm.
-Do you understand?
447
00:34:39,619 --> 00:34:42,496
Yeah. No, no, I do understand, yes.
Yeah, of course.
448
00:34:42,581 --> 00:34:44,957
l'm sure l don't need to tell you
how important it is.. .
449
00:34:45,041 --> 00:34:48,752
Yeah, no, I do understand, yes.
Yes. Okey dokey, yes.
450
00:34:48,837 --> 00:34:50,213
Well, it's all very well
saying you understand,
451
00:34:50,297 --> 00:34:51,756
but this is your son's future
we're talking about.
452
00:34:51,841 --> 00:34:53,216
Mmm-hmm.
453
00:34:53,300 --> 00:34:55,009
-Your wife told me about.. .
-Mmm-hmm. Well.. .
454
00:34:55,094 --> 00:34:56,511
And l want you to know that l'm not. ..
455
00:34:56,596 --> 00:34:59,431
You know what? He was right.
You are a bit of a stuck-up old cow.
456
00:34:59,515 --> 00:35:02,642
-l beg your pardon? How dare you?
-Tiddley poo, madam.
457
00:35:04,980 --> 00:35:09,274
Snotty old maggot, she is.
Put on the kettle, will you?
458
00:35:19,620 --> 00:35:21,121
Ta.
459
00:35:25,084 --> 00:35:27,460
-Where's Denise?
-She's gone out.
460
00:35:31,132 --> 00:35:33,091
You're gonna have to help me
put me leg on, then.
461
00:35:36,638 --> 00:35:38,347
Right, if you could. .. Come here.
462
00:35:38,431 --> 00:35:42,852
Let me swing round, I'll put my arm
round you. After three. One,
463
00:35:43,353 --> 00:35:44,896
two, three.
464
00:35:45,981 --> 00:35:47,357
That's it.
465
00:35:48,359 --> 00:35:50,985
See me new leg? Look at that.
466
00:35:51,654 --> 00:35:53,113
Phwoar.
467
00:35:53,239 --> 00:35:55,240
Been waiting for that for ages.
Beautiful.
468
00:35:55,324 --> 00:35:56,784
You do that one, I'll do this one.
469
00:35:58,286 --> 00:35:59,870
Get this underneath.
470
00:36:00,914 --> 00:36:02,706
I'm still getting used to it
myself, actually.
471
00:36:02,916 --> 00:36:05,668
See what your old man has to go
through every day? What a palaver.
472
00:36:09,214 --> 00:36:13,467
Dear Jemima, l've been working
with a man called Chaz.
473
00:36:13,719 --> 00:36:17,346
If we do weIl, we wilI have
disgusting ice cream.
474
00:36:17,473 --> 00:36:19,641
lf we don't, we will cry.
475
00:36:19,975 --> 00:36:23,103
Boo-hoo! l can't wait for you
to meet Denise.
476
00:36:27,400 --> 00:36:29,526
You should come up
and visit sometime.
477
00:36:29,610 --> 00:36:32,404
Baxter's turning into
a right little geezer.
478
00:36:32,488 --> 00:36:35,240
Always keep a strong heart
in case of sadness.
479
00:36:35,325 --> 00:36:37,243
Love, your charming father,
480
00:36:37,328 --> 00:36:40,621
Dad, Nebbish, Clot.
481
00:36:40,706 --> 00:36:42,498
I'm going
to disagree with Nigel.
482
00:36:42,583 --> 00:36:44,375
The real shock here
is the whole Sex Pistols
483
00:36:44,460 --> 00:36:47,337
swearing on television,
Bill Grundy being sacked,
484
00:36:47,421 --> 00:36:49,923
it all turning into some sort
of moral panic.
485
00:36:50,007 --> 00:36:51,758
l mean, these boys are the future.
486
00:36:51,843 --> 00:36:53,969
They're the voice
of a young generation.
487
00:36:54,053 --> 00:36:56,263
Fucking Sex Pistols. Bollocks.
488
00:36:56,681 --> 00:36:59,266
And he nicked my razorblade-earring
idea and all, didn't he?
489
00:36:59,434 --> 00:37:01,018
Turn it off, Den, will you?
490
00:37:01,478 --> 00:37:03,104
l'm sorry, Nigel, l'm sorry.
491
00:37:06,316 --> 00:37:09,944
If you get bitter,
you have a strong heart. Remember?
492
00:37:10,946 --> 00:37:13,406
Never let it be said
that my failure went to me head.
493
00:37:15,159 --> 00:37:18,161
"Swearing on the television
494
00:37:18,621 --> 00:37:22,500
"is not funny and not fucking clever!"
495
00:37:22,584 --> 00:37:24,084
Language.
496
00:37:24,168 --> 00:37:26,169
First words my sister ever said
were, "Fuck off, Dad."
497
00:37:26,421 --> 00:37:27,838
Must be inherited.
498
00:37:27,964 --> 00:37:29,465
Does she sack drummers, too?
499
00:37:29,549 --> 00:37:30,967
Incredible Hulk doesn't swear,
does he?
500
00:37:31,093 --> 00:37:33,177
-He's got a moral compass.
-That's right.
501
00:37:33,428 --> 00:37:36,014
Moral compass? I'm an entertainer,
not Christopher bleeding Columbus.
502
00:37:36,098 --> 00:37:37,766
Oi, what do you think of that?
503
00:37:37,850 --> 00:37:40,101
Nah, that's too, uh, too romantic.
Here you go.
504
00:37:40,185 --> 00:37:41,603
Is that all?
505
00:37:41,687 --> 00:37:43,480
It's been a slow week.
-Ian?
506
00:37:44,440 --> 00:37:45,857
Uh, too satanic.
507
00:37:46,442 --> 00:37:48,485
Oi, oi, what's wrong with that one?
508
00:37:48,862 --> 00:37:51,030
-You're always giving me that one.
-Yeah, and?
509
00:37:51,281 --> 00:37:52,948
We know all about that, Ian.
510
00:37:53,199 --> 00:37:55,743
Oh, no, no, Chaz, Chaz, Chaz. That,
511
00:37:55,911 --> 00:37:58,871
that is a riddle. It's a love song.
It's a questioning.
512
00:37:59,080 --> 00:38:00,915
It's a striving of the human soul.
513
00:38:01,167 --> 00:38:03,709
It's just.. .
It's called Sex, Drugs & Rock & Roll.
514
00:38:04,420 --> 00:38:05,545
That's good.
515
00:38:05,629 --> 00:38:07,463
-Mmm-mmm, it's too obvious.
Tell him, Denny.
516
00:38:07,631 --> 00:38:09,132
Look, it's a celebration. It's. ..
517
00:38:09,216 --> 00:38:12,093
It's an anthem for all the outsiders,
for all the uglies,
518
00:38:12,178 --> 00:38:13,554
for all the freaks, you know,
519
00:38:13,638 --> 00:38:17,641
who are slaving away every day
in their shit shirts
520
00:38:17,725 --> 00:38:21,062
and their shit shoes,
trying to fit in.
521
00:38:21,146 --> 00:38:23,230
"Is that all there is to life?"
they ask.
522
00:38:23,941 --> 00:38:26,483
And then, lo and behold.. .
523
00:38:31,156 --> 00:38:34,367
-Can you dance to that, Denny?
-Yeah, if you dance with me.
524
00:38:34,493 --> 00:38:36,078
You nicked that.
525
00:38:36,162 --> 00:38:38,080
God, everyone's a critic these days,
aren't they?
526
00:38:39,207 --> 00:38:42,793
The immature artist plagiarises
and the mature artist steals.
527
00:38:43,252 --> 00:38:44,878
And I am about to grow up.
528
00:38:51,553 --> 00:38:53,637
Sex, drugs and rock and roll.
529
00:38:55,390 --> 00:38:56,808
Okay, how about.. .
530
00:38:58,518 --> 00:39:00,854
See? Blue's your colour,
you know that?
531
00:39:01,522 --> 00:39:03,064
That's it. That's it.
532
00:39:04,900 --> 00:39:07,527
# Grey is such a pity
533
00:39:08,696 --> 00:39:10,823
Yeah! Look at you all! Look, look.
534
00:39:10,949 --> 00:39:14,076
-You're magnificent!
You are gonna be
535
00:39:14,285 --> 00:39:16,078
-just like your dad.
-No, no.
536
00:39:16,204 --> 00:39:17,622
-A proper little geezer.
-No.
537
00:39:17,706 --> 00:39:19,123
-Baxter, come on.
-Don't.
538
00:39:19,207 --> 00:39:20,583
Baxter, stop fidgeting.
539
00:39:20,667 --> 00:39:22,127
-Bax. ..
Stop it.
540
00:39:22,211 --> 00:39:23,628
-Don't be such a baby.
-Get off.
541
00:39:27,466 --> 00:39:28,967
Who did that?
542
00:39:29,051 --> 00:39:32,554
Boys. Bigger boys.
543
00:39:34,682 --> 00:39:36,683
They said I was posh.
544
00:39:37,852 --> 00:39:39,311
Are we posh?
545
00:39:40,730 --> 00:39:42,857
No, we're arts and crafts.
546
00:39:44,109 --> 00:39:46,068
That's what we are.
We're arts and crafts.
547
00:39:52,535 --> 00:39:54,286
There. That's handsome, isn't it?
548
00:40:17,644 --> 00:40:19,020
Baxter!
549
00:40:19,689 --> 00:40:21,272
There he is, here's my son.
550
00:40:21,482 --> 00:40:23,483
These are all my friends.
Say hi to Baxter, everybody.
551
00:40:23,568 --> 00:40:25,569
Big round of applause for my son.
552
00:40:26,153 --> 00:40:28,155
Baxter Front, I like to call him.
553
00:40:32,535 --> 00:40:34,036
Listen, we haven't tried
this one before.
554
00:40:34,120 --> 00:40:36,121
It's a little experimentation.
Oi, Chaz, let's start this up.
555
00:40:36,206 --> 00:40:38,749
We'll go for the rock. We'll have
white face, black shirt, white socks.
556
00:40:38,834 --> 00:40:40,292
One, two, three, four.
557
00:40:41,002 --> 00:40:42,962
# Who, who, who slapped John?
558
00:40:46,133 --> 00:40:47,508
# White face, black shirt
559
00:40:47,593 --> 00:40:48,969
# White socks, black shoes
560
00:40:49,053 --> 00:40:51,471
# Black hair, white Strat,
bled white, died black
561
00:40:51,889 --> 00:40:54,265
# Sweet Gene Vincent
562
00:40:54,684 --> 00:40:57,060
# There's one in every town
563
00:40:57,645 --> 00:40:59,521
# And the devil drives
564
00:40:59,606 --> 00:41:01,022
# Till the hearse arrives
565
00:41:01,108 --> 00:41:02,984
# And you lay that pistol down
566
00:41:03,068 --> 00:41:04,401
Just keep singing that last verse.
567
00:41:04,486 --> 00:41:06,278
# Sweet Gene Vincent
568
00:41:06,947 --> 00:41:09,198
# There's one in every town
569
00:41:09,867 --> 00:41:11,868
# And the devil drives
till the hearse.. .
570
00:41:12,202 --> 00:41:13,870
Keep singing!
571
00:41:15,873 --> 00:41:18,250
# Sweet Gene Vincent
572
00:41:27,469 --> 00:41:28,886
I hope you don't mind me saying,
573
00:41:29,012 --> 00:41:30,429
but you are being a bit
of a right old moody.
574
00:41:30,680 --> 00:41:32,181
We said we'd look after him, Ian.
575
00:41:32,391 --> 00:41:34,058
Yeah, I know. He's my son.
576
00:41:34,143 --> 00:41:36,102
-I've got him a driver and everything.
-What, someone reliable?
577
00:41:36,603 --> 00:41:38,479
Yeah, yeah, of course.
578
00:41:38,563 --> 00:41:39,856
-Really?
-I mean, the man was
579
00:41:39,940 --> 00:41:41,608
a roadie with Led zeppelin,
for fuck's sake.
580
00:41:41,692 --> 00:41:43,652
All right, Baxter?
581
00:41:44,111 --> 00:41:45,862
I've got a little surprise for you.
582
00:41:46,531 --> 00:41:49,616
Ooh, speak of the devil,
and he will appear.
583
00:41:50,076 --> 00:41:52,744
Can you feel him slouching
ever nearer?
584
00:41:53,079 --> 00:41:57,207
Ooh, has Santa Claus come
early this year? No.. .
585
00:41:57,292 --> 00:42:00,127
It's the Sulphate Strangler!
586
00:42:12,599 --> 00:42:16,311
# The sons of the prophet
were brave men and bold
587
00:42:16,479 --> 00:42:18,605
# And quite unaccustomed to fear
588
00:42:18,898 --> 00:42:21,983
# But the bravest by far
in the ranks of the Shah
589
00:42:22,235 --> 00:42:25,196
# Was Abdulla Bulbul Ameer
590
00:42:25,530 --> 00:42:27,990
# One day, this bold Russian
591
00:42:28,408 --> 00:42:30,034
# He shouldered his gun
592
00:42:30,619 --> 00:42:33,329
# And donned his most truculent sneer
593
00:42:33,414 --> 00:42:36,666
# Downtown he did go,
where he trod on the toe
594
00:42:37,042 --> 00:42:40,087
# Of Abdulla Bulbul Ameer
595
00:42:43,716 --> 00:42:46,426
-Watch it!
-Oh, shit! Oh, sorry.
596
00:42:49,097 --> 00:42:50,598
Lovely.
597
00:43:54,667 --> 00:43:56,208
You all right, Dad?
598
00:44:16,106 --> 00:44:18,066
l'm doing pretty good
at the moment, you know.
599
00:44:19,526 --> 00:44:21,194
You should come and see me.
600
00:44:21,987 --> 00:44:23,655
Would you like that?
601
00:45:37,776 --> 00:45:40,778
# The sons of the
prophet were brave men and bold
602
00:45:40,862 --> 00:45:42,781
# And quite unaccustomed to fear
603
00:45:46,911 --> 00:45:51,415
Your mum told your dad to tell me
to make sure you went in. Now, go on.
604
00:45:51,791 --> 00:45:53,375
I look like a prick.
605
00:46:13,355 --> 00:46:14,772
Well, that went well, then.
606
00:46:16,608 --> 00:46:18,151
Come on.
607
00:46:24,701 --> 00:46:26,243
Did you?
-Don't shout at me!
608
00:46:26,328 --> 00:46:27,786
I'm not shouting. Who's shouting?
609
00:46:29,331 --> 00:46:31,332
Did you or did you not
try and sell my typewriter?
610
00:46:31,416 --> 00:46:33,292
-How would you know?
-'Cause it says in here,
611
00:46:33,376 --> 00:46:36,378
"For sale, Ian Dury's
fucking typewriter"!
612
00:46:36,463 --> 00:46:37,672
All right, I did it.
613
00:46:37,756 --> 00:46:39,256
I admit it, all right?
-Hello?
614
00:46:40,468 --> 00:46:41,968
Ian, we need to work.
615
00:46:42,428 --> 00:46:44,554
But you know what, Ian?
No one fucking wanted it.
616
00:46:45,723 --> 00:46:48,809
I am not your fucking pet, all right?
617
00:46:49,143 --> 00:46:50,602
I'm as hungry for this as you are.
618
00:46:50,687 --> 00:46:53,897
Oh, boo. The green-eyed
monster's coming out, is it?
619
00:46:54,107 --> 00:46:56,317
The world doesn't revolve
around you!
620
00:46:56,401 --> 00:46:59,528
Oh, I think you'll find
it fucking does.
621
00:46:59,613 --> 00:47:02,991
-How was school?
-Okay.
622
00:47:04,243 --> 00:47:05,869
-Fuck you!
-Feeling left out, are you?
623
00:47:06,536 --> 00:47:09,623
-Double fuck you.
-Oh, fucking hell, that hurt.
624
00:47:09,707 --> 00:47:13,167
Write some lines!
I will show more respect!
625
00:47:13,253 --> 00:47:15,795
And I'm doing all this fucking work,
all this work
626
00:47:15,921 --> 00:47:17,422
for the family, right?
627
00:47:17,507 --> 00:47:20,092
You and me. You and me, it's for us.
628
00:47:23,013 --> 00:47:24,263
Oh, God.
629
00:47:24,347 --> 00:47:25,848
You fight like a bloke, Denny.
630
00:47:30,521 --> 00:47:33,023
Oh, great. Broke me new leg.
631
00:47:34,942 --> 00:47:36,567
Can you help me take it off, please?
632
00:47:37,236 --> 00:47:39,320
Ian? Hello?
633
00:47:41,574 --> 00:47:43,366
Everything you do is
for the family, is it, Ian?
634
00:47:43,451 --> 00:47:46,328
-Yeah, yeah.
-Right, that's fucking bollocks.
635
00:47:46,496 --> 00:47:49,373
Everything you do is for you,
on your terms.
636
00:47:49,541 --> 00:47:51,750
And if the rest of us happen
to fit along,
637
00:47:51,834 --> 00:47:55,296
-then that is a fucking bonus.
-Is that what you think, is it?
638
00:47:55,380 --> 00:47:57,674
-Yeah, that's what I think.
-Yeah? Is that what you really think?
639
00:47:59,342 --> 00:48:00,843
'Cause if that's right,
640
00:48:00,928 --> 00:48:03,305
well, you better fuck off, then,
because do you know what?
641
00:48:03,389 --> 00:48:04,597
I can't handle this.
I can't handle this.
642
00:48:04,682 --> 00:48:07,935
I'm on a flow at the moment, right?
I'm right in it. I'm right inside it.
643
00:48:08,019 --> 00:48:09,477
And you're getting
right inside my brain,
644
00:48:09,562 --> 00:48:11,521
when I'm on one,
and I won't have it, all right?
645
00:48:11,647 --> 00:48:13,356
So if you can't handle it,
then fuck off.
646
00:48:16,194 --> 00:48:17,945
You think you can do without me,
do you, Ian?
647
00:48:18,112 --> 00:48:20,406
-Yeah.
-Really?
648
00:48:23,868 --> 00:48:26,996
Oi. Can I have me leg back?
649
00:48:27,957 --> 00:48:31,000
Oi, don't leave me on the floor.
I'm a raspberry.
650
00:48:36,216 --> 00:48:37,632
Nice throw.
651
00:48:41,471 --> 00:48:42,972
Just easy.
652
00:48:43,514 --> 00:48:45,057
Got it!
653
00:48:46,935 --> 00:48:48,519
Fuck! Fuck!
654
00:48:50,314 --> 00:48:52,147
We can rebuild him.
655
00:48:58,489 --> 00:49:00,073
He just needs a bit of distance.
656
00:49:00,867 --> 00:49:03,451
I'm either too close
or not far enough away.
657
00:49:05,204 --> 00:49:07,163
Denise, what.. .
658
00:49:08,833 --> 00:49:11,001
What happened to him
happened a long time ago.
659
00:49:11,336 --> 00:49:13,212
There's nothing we can do
about it now.
660
00:49:15,715 --> 00:49:17,842
Everyone has their weakness.
661
00:49:19,302 --> 00:49:22,680
It's just that his weakness
is so obvious
662
00:49:22,765 --> 00:49:24,432
he doesn't need to worry about it.
663
00:49:25,726 --> 00:49:27,352
But what about me?
664
00:49:28,646 --> 00:49:30,772
What am I supposed to do?
665
00:49:31,607 --> 00:49:33,483
My weakness is loving him.
666
00:49:44,163 --> 00:49:45,538
Dad's home.
667
00:49:50,044 --> 00:49:51,753
I'm knocking 40.
668
00:49:52,880 --> 00:49:55,424
I'm a bit of a shorty.
669
00:49:56,509 --> 00:49:59,261
Little bit haughty,
a bit nutty, a bit naughty.. .
670
00:49:59,345 --> 00:50:01,430
Enough with the rhyming couplets.
671
00:50:01,514 --> 00:50:03,598
Look, I will pay front money
for the room,
672
00:50:03,683 --> 00:50:07,061
proper wedge.
You can be the stern landlady,
673
00:50:07,145 --> 00:50:09,271
with the surgical stockings
and the twinkle in her eye.. .
674
00:50:09,355 --> 00:50:11,190
-This is serious.
-I will be
675
00:50:11,274 --> 00:50:13,568
generally a domestic god
for the duration.
676
00:50:13,652 --> 00:50:15,611
I promise. Please.
677
00:50:16,113 --> 00:50:17,738
Oh, come on, Bet, just this once.
678
00:50:17,823 --> 00:50:19,532
I've got work.
679
00:50:25,331 --> 00:50:26,372
All right?
680
00:50:30,712 --> 00:50:33,505
Faster. Cured.
681
00:50:34,466 --> 00:50:36,425
Healthy.
682
00:50:39,054 --> 00:50:40,888
Up, up, up!
683
00:50:41,515 --> 00:50:44,601
Sliders out first, then walkers.
All hands on!
684
00:50:45,353 --> 00:50:48,271
Come on! Come on,
let's be having you.
685
00:50:49,065 --> 00:50:50,482
Oi, get a move on.
686
00:50:53,778 --> 00:50:55,403
Up, up, up!
687
00:50:57,448 --> 00:50:58,866
Oi, Dury, get on with it.
688
00:51:12,506 --> 00:51:13,923
Shitter!
689
00:51:14,091 --> 00:51:16,885
Shitter, shitter, shitter!
690
00:51:17,887 --> 00:51:19,721
-Faster. Cured.
-Shitter, shitter.
691
00:51:20,181 --> 00:51:21,973
Shitter, shitter.
692
00:51:22,517 --> 00:51:24,643
-Faster.
-Shitter, shitter.
693
00:51:24,727 --> 00:51:26,311
Cured.
-Shitter, shitter.
694
00:51:26,604 --> 00:51:28,522
-Shitter, shitter.
-All right, all right!
695
00:51:28,649 --> 00:51:30,190
Get a move on!
696
00:51:35,322 --> 00:51:36,864
Where's your daddy now?
697
00:51:44,456 --> 00:51:48,043
Healthier. Improving.
698
00:51:48,210 --> 00:51:50,337
Greenness, cured.
699
00:51:51,130 --> 00:51:53,965
Frustration, stagger.
700
00:51:54,384 --> 00:51:55,801
Stun!
701
00:51:57,429 --> 00:51:59,681
Knock one down
702
00:52:00,473 --> 00:52:03,225
with a feather, clever.. .
703
00:52:03,393 --> 00:52:05,061
Clever Trevor.
704
00:52:05,771 --> 00:52:07,564
See, the English language
705
00:52:07,648 --> 00:52:11,818
is a gloriously sophisticated
smorgasbord of words and phrases.
706
00:52:12,278 --> 00:52:14,279
Songwriting's really not
that complicated.
707
00:52:14,697 --> 00:52:18,200
It's all about the verbals.
I'll go first.
708
00:52:19,118 --> 00:52:20,703
Cock.
709
00:52:20,995 --> 00:52:22,455
Your turn.
710
00:52:22,747 --> 00:52:24,207
-Willy.
-Dick.
711
00:52:24,416 --> 00:52:26,584
-Knob.
-Love truncheon.
712
00:52:26,668 --> 00:52:28,336
-Dong.
-Meat and two veg.
713
00:52:29,213 --> 00:52:30,629
Um. ..
714
00:52:30,714 --> 00:52:33,591
Come on,
keep them coming.
715
00:52:33,968 --> 00:52:35,760
-Rhythm stick.
-Chopper.
716
00:52:36,136 --> 00:52:37,804
-Old man.
-Pork sword.
717
00:52:38,431 --> 00:52:40,139
One-eyed trouser snake.
718
00:52:40,225 --> 00:52:41,641
Ah!
719
00:52:41,809 --> 00:52:44,436
Look at you all, look.
Bloody marvellous.
720
00:52:44,562 --> 00:52:47,564
I love being
in the warm bosoms of my family.
721
00:52:48,274 --> 00:52:49,734
You know why?
722
00:52:50,026 --> 00:52:53,153
Because I love warm bosoms.
723
00:52:53,614 --> 00:52:55,072
Dad.. .
724
00:52:55,407 --> 00:52:57,200
Come on, dinner's on the table.
725
00:54:07,442 --> 00:54:10,653
Come on, then. Touch me again
and I'll punch your head in.
726
00:54:11,362 --> 00:54:13,573
Kick your head in. Kick your head in!
727
00:54:13,990 --> 00:54:16,492
Touch me again
and I'll kick your fucking teeth
728
00:54:16,743 --> 00:54:18,536
so far down your Gregory Peck,
729
00:54:18,620 --> 00:54:20,371
you'll be able to eat
out of your Khyber Pass!
730
00:54:20,456 --> 00:54:22,373
-Fuck me, look who it is.
-Fuck off!
731
00:54:22,458 --> 00:54:24,625
Dreary Dury, the Dancing Durex.
732
00:54:24,710 --> 00:54:27,087
-Don't get snotty on me, posh boy.
-Leave me alone.
733
00:54:27,504 --> 00:54:28,922
Yeah, walk away! Fuck off!
734
00:54:29,006 --> 00:54:30,882
Gonna get your Spazzy Joe dad
to come and save you?
735
00:54:30,967 --> 00:54:32,843
'Cause guess what?
We don't give a shit who he is.
736
00:54:32,927 --> 00:54:34,470
-Fucking spaz.
-What's his name again?
737
00:54:34,554 --> 00:54:36,763
-Captain Cripple the Raspberry Ripple!
-Fuck off.
738
00:54:36,848 --> 00:54:38,265
Who the fuck do you think you are?
739
00:54:38,391 --> 00:54:40,810
You learnt some words, have you?
Proper little villain.
740
00:54:46,441 --> 00:54:49,861
-All right, Bax?
-All right, Strang?
741
00:54:50,279 --> 00:54:52,489
You know you've got blood
coming out of your nose?
742
00:55:01,124 --> 00:55:03,959
"Who awoke the sleeping tiger?
743
00:55:05,294 --> 00:55:06,837
"It was thee.
744
00:55:08,465 --> 00:55:12,510
"The dormant devil did no harm,
745
00:55:14,513 --> 00:55:16,139
"except to me.
746
00:55:18,518 --> 00:55:23,230
"The writer sat, scratching his arse,
747
00:55:24,482 --> 00:55:27,609
"wishing he wasn't middle class.. ."
748
00:55:45,421 --> 00:55:47,380
I've met someone else.
749
00:55:47,840 --> 00:55:50,508
What, around here?
You wanna be careful.
750
00:55:53,012 --> 00:55:56,139
He's Welsh. He does ceramics.
751
00:55:56,224 --> 00:55:57,724
Oh, pottery sheep?
752
00:56:00,562 --> 00:56:02,021
We should think about
getting a divorce.
753
00:56:02,105 --> 00:56:04,774
No. No.
754
00:56:06,569 --> 00:56:09,821
It would be better for you,
better for the kids, better for Denise.
755
00:56:09,905 --> 00:56:11,489
That's far too logical.
756
00:56:13,992 --> 00:56:17,704
No, Bet, that would be
just like tossing everything away.
757
00:56:18,664 --> 00:56:20,999
-Don't do this, Ian.
-I love you.
758
00:56:21,209 --> 00:56:22,835
I know you love me.
759
00:56:25,839 --> 00:56:27,548
But you don't need me.
760
00:56:32,721 --> 00:56:34,597
There's someone else who needs me.
761
00:57:01,835 --> 00:57:04,795
Hello. Welcome home.
762
00:57:05,923 --> 00:57:08,925
-I missed you.
-Oh, I missed you, too.
763
00:57:26,695 --> 00:57:29,531
You have painted.
764
00:57:29,615 --> 00:57:31,699
Mmm-hmm. Freshen it up.
765
00:57:33,035 --> 00:57:35,328
I thought it was looking a bit jaded.
766
00:57:41,627 --> 00:57:44,922
-You don't like it, do you?
-I didn't say that.
767
00:57:46,425 --> 00:57:47,841
But you don't.
768
00:57:55,600 --> 00:57:57,518
It's all very. ..
769
00:57:59,689 --> 00:58:01,105
white.
770
00:58:20,544 --> 00:58:21,961
Knock-knock.
771
00:58:26,717 --> 00:58:28,176
Who's there?
772
00:58:33,515 --> 00:58:35,183
We got some great tunes.
773
00:58:35,267 --> 00:58:38,604
Now all we need is a band
with a drummer I can't sack. Hit me!
774
00:58:38,688 --> 00:58:40,105
-One, two!
-Three, four!
775
00:58:45,653 --> 00:58:47,864
# You must have seen
parties of Blockheads
776
00:58:48,657 --> 00:58:50,908
# With blotched and lagered skin
777
00:58:51,994 --> 00:58:53,995
# Blockheads with food particles
in their teeth
778
00:58:54,663 --> 00:58:56,664
# What a horrible state they're in
779
00:58:57,541 --> 00:59:00,502
# They've got womanly breasts
under pale mauve vests
780
00:59:00,920 --> 00:59:03,130
# Shoes like dead pigs' noses
781
00:59:04,132 --> 00:59:06,884
# Cornflake packet jacket
Catalogue trousers
782
00:59:07,010 --> 00:59:09,177
# A mouth what never closes
783
00:59:09,888 --> 00:59:12,848
# You must have seen Blockheads
in raucous teams
784
00:59:13,142 --> 00:59:15,309
# Dressed up after work
785
00:59:16,061 --> 00:59:18,813
# Who screw their poor old Eileens
786
00:59:18,898 --> 00:59:21,524
# Get sloshed and go berserk
787
00:59:22,693 --> 00:59:24,694
# Rotary accessory watches
788
00:59:25,405 --> 00:59:27,531
# Hire-purchase signet rings
789
00:59:28,199 --> 00:59:31,160
# A beauty to the bully boys
790
00:59:31,327 --> 00:59:33,996
# No lonely vestige clings
791
00:59:34,372 --> 00:59:43,548
-# Blockheads, Blockheads
-Oi, oi!
792
00:59:43,632 --> 00:59:55,519
# Blockheads, Blockheads
793
01:00:12,120 --> 01:00:17,334
# Blockhead, Blockhead, Blockhead,
Blockhead, Blockhead! #
794
01:00:17,710 --> 01:00:21,338
lan! Ian! lan!
795
01:00:25,551 --> 01:00:27,260
Oh, this is it. Just on the right.
Pull in here.
796
01:00:38,523 --> 01:00:41,484
Oh, my life!
God, it hasn't changed one little iota.
797
01:00:58,920 --> 01:01:00,420
Right, then, Chris. Let's get this done
798
01:01:00,505 --> 01:01:02,882
-before we attract too much attention.
-Okay, Ian.
799
01:01:08,597 --> 01:01:11,016
-Nice.
-Oi! What are you doing?
800
01:01:11,350 --> 01:01:13,518
-I'm bored.
-Only boring people get bored.
801
01:01:13,602 --> 01:01:15,395
Go on, off you go.
802
01:01:18,274 --> 01:01:20,984
Baxter, I'm not gonna tell you again.
803
01:01:22,237 --> 01:01:23,820
Couple of more poses.
804
01:01:27,117 --> 01:01:28,617
Come on, Baxter, I'm working.
805
01:01:30,829 --> 01:01:33,122
Hold it. Hold it there.
806
01:01:34,792 --> 01:01:36,208
Got it.
807
01:01:37,795 --> 01:01:39,379
Go on, off you go, son.
808
01:01:42,758 --> 01:01:44,301
Ladies and gentlemen,
809
01:01:44,385 --> 01:01:46,887
please welcome the jewel
in the English crown,
810
01:01:46,971 --> 01:01:49,181
Mr lan Dury!
811
01:01:54,646 --> 01:01:56,772
One, two, three, four!
812
01:01:56,856 --> 01:01:58,983
# Sex & drugs & rock & roll
813
01:02:01,278 --> 01:02:03,071
# Are all my brain and body need
814
01:02:05,700 --> 01:02:08,034
# Sex & drugs & rock & roll
815
01:02:12,039 --> 01:02:14,249
# ls very good indeed
816
01:02:14,417 --> 01:02:18,378
# Every bit of clothing
ought to make you pretty
817
01:02:18,546 --> 01:02:22,675
# You can cut the clothing
Grey is such a pity
818
01:02:22,843 --> 01:02:27,012
# l should wear the clothing
of Mr Walter Mitty
819
01:02:27,223 --> 01:02:31,935
# See my tailor, he's called Simon
l know it's going to fit
820
01:02:35,940 --> 01:02:38,108
# Here's a little bit of advice
821
01:02:38,192 --> 01:02:40,026
# You're quite welcome, it is free
822
01:02:40,277 --> 01:02:42,529
# Don't do nothing that is cut price
823
01:02:42,697 --> 01:02:44,740
# You know what it'll make you be
824
01:02:44,866 --> 01:02:46,908
# They will try their tricky device
825
01:02:47,077 --> 01:02:48,869
# Trap you with the ordinary
826
01:02:49,162 --> 01:02:51,330
# Get your teeth into a small slice
827
01:02:51,664 --> 01:02:54,166
# The cake of liberty!
828
01:03:11,060 --> 01:03:19,193
# Sex & drugs & rock & roll
829
01:03:19,861 --> 01:03:23,572
# Sex & drugs & rock & roll
830
01:03:28,663 --> 01:03:41,633
# Sex, drugs, rock & roll!
831
01:03:41,718 --> 01:03:47,181
# Sex, drugs, rock & roll #
832
01:04:14,419 --> 01:04:17,088
Ian! Ian! Ian!
833
01:04:23,262 --> 01:04:25,013
Ian! Ian!
834
01:04:29,102 --> 01:04:33,647
See, people imagine
people like me want all of that,
835
01:04:35,066 --> 01:04:38,026
to be popular and famous, but I don't.
836
01:04:39,571 --> 01:04:43,407
I prefer being a lurker,
'cause I like being naughty.
837
01:04:44,243 --> 01:04:45,952
Paul McCartney says
when he gets recognised,
838
01:04:46,036 --> 01:04:47,578
he just walks brusquely away.
839
01:04:47,663 --> 01:04:51,207
Well, if I walk brusquely away,
I fall over and down I go a-tumble.
840
01:04:52,960 --> 01:04:54,378
Did I say you could laugh?
841
01:04:54,462 --> 01:04:58,048
-Touch me, Ian! Touch me!
-I ain't the fucking Pope, am I?
842
01:04:59,009 --> 01:05:00,425
Now you can laugh.
843
01:05:02,303 --> 01:05:04,263
Ian! Ian!
844
01:05:15,442 --> 01:05:19,154
So, how's the new gaff?
ls it keeping all you guys productive?
845
01:05:19,822 --> 01:05:23,575
Well, you've got to pace
your life, lie fallow for stages,
846
01:05:23,660 --> 01:05:25,243
so that's what l'm doing.
847
01:05:25,328 --> 01:05:28,079
Biding me time till I'm ready to pounce.
848
01:05:29,624 --> 01:05:33,210
Bax? Bax? Don't you want to swim?
849
01:05:34,171 --> 01:05:35,797
-You sure?
-Yeah.
850
01:05:38,050 --> 01:05:41,302
You yourself, have you lost that
common touch people said you had?
851
01:05:41,679 --> 01:05:44,389
Oh, well, that all depends on
where l'm touching them, doesn't it?
852
01:05:44,723 --> 01:05:48,060
Well, is it possible to
maintain a uniqueness, do you think?
853
01:05:48,186 --> 01:05:50,395
Well, we're all unique,
aren't we? Eh?
854
01:05:50,479 --> 01:05:54,900
Yeah, but if you wish to package
that uniqueness,
855
01:05:55,276 --> 01:05:57,361
well, then you take risks.
856
01:05:58,029 --> 01:05:59,947
Don't we, Denise? Eh?
857
01:06:00,073 --> 01:06:01,949
Even with things in love?
858
01:06:02,201 --> 01:06:04,577
Love. Mmm.
859
01:06:04,661 --> 01:06:07,455
Well, there are people in this world
who act purely out of love.
860
01:06:07,915 --> 01:06:11,334
Whereas, me, I'm a wanker being
interviewed by a cunt and I love it.
861
01:06:13,337 --> 01:06:15,297
Am I making a bit of a kipper
of meself, Denny?
862
01:06:15,590 --> 01:06:18,800
I think this little squirt wants to know
how we're getting on.
863
01:06:20,303 --> 01:06:21,470
Well, I'd like to be at home.
864
01:06:21,554 --> 01:06:23,347
Oh, would you? Well, this is home.
865
01:06:23,765 --> 01:06:26,308
No, this is rented
for a small fortune, actually.
866
01:06:26,392 --> 01:06:29,729
Oh, well, you know, we've gotta be here
'cause we've got to work, haven't we?
867
01:06:29,813 --> 01:06:33,149
It's industrial relations now.
No time for real relations.
868
01:06:33,400 --> 01:06:34,900
Yeah, I'd noticed.
869
01:06:46,205 --> 01:06:47,706
All right, goose?
870
01:06:51,586 --> 01:06:54,296
Amphetamines. Speed, Billy Whizz,
871
01:06:54,381 --> 01:06:56,799
Black Beauties, sulphate.
Righteous stuff.
872
01:06:58,551 --> 01:07:00,678
Originally a nasal decongestant.
873
01:07:00,763 --> 01:07:03,055
Used during the war.
It keeps you awake.
874
01:07:03,140 --> 01:07:05,725
Basically, speed won
the Battle of Britain.
875
01:07:07,061 --> 01:07:10,188
They were flying very high,
those boys. Literally.
876
01:07:12,400 --> 01:07:15,861
-That's a lot.
-Don't want to withdraw. Here you go.
877
01:07:21,285 --> 01:07:23,911
Go on, son. Give it here.
878
01:07:28,834 --> 01:07:31,460
Your lives are to be spared.
879
01:07:31,796 --> 01:07:35,340
The terrible penalty of crucifixion
has been set aside. ..
880
01:07:35,425 --> 01:07:38,385
What's this?
-.. .on the single condition
881
01:07:38,719 --> 01:07:42,556
that you identify the body
or the living person
882
01:07:42,640 --> 01:07:45,100
of the slave called Spartacus.
883
01:07:47,103 --> 01:07:49,396
-l'm Spartacus!
-l'm Spartacus!
884
01:07:49,815 --> 01:07:51,273
Ow!
885
01:07:51,942 --> 01:07:53,443
-You spilled me nuts.
-Oh, sorry.
886
01:07:53,527 --> 01:07:55,195
Don't look for it now.
887
01:07:55,737 --> 01:07:57,197
-l'm Spartacus!
-l'm Spartacus!
888
01:07:57,323 --> 01:07:58,739
We should work.
889
01:07:58,824 --> 01:08:00,826
Kirk Douglas is
just about to get crucified.
890
01:08:00,910 --> 01:08:04,162
Yeah, I know, but I've just written
a brilliant riff, right?
891
01:08:04,246 --> 01:08:06,873
-I promise you, it's a brilliant. ..
-Just relax, will you? You doughnut.
892
01:08:07,500 --> 01:08:09,751
Ian, listen, it's fantastic.
We should go and work on it.
893
01:08:09,836 --> 01:08:11,587
What are you?
Some kind of mad nutty professor?
894
01:08:11,671 --> 01:08:13,130
Will you shut up?
I'm trying to watch a movie.
895
01:08:19,512 --> 01:08:22,432
-Chaz, you're standing in my way.
-I've got to get the guitar.
896
01:08:22,516 --> 01:08:24,141
Will you get me some more nuts?
897
01:08:24,226 --> 01:08:26,228
Actually, can you get me some olives
as well? Stoned.
898
01:08:33,778 --> 01:08:35,195
Take a month.
899
01:08:40,494 --> 01:08:42,453
Come on, Baxter,
what's wrong with you?
900
01:08:42,621 --> 01:08:44,955
-Scared of a bit of water?
Leave him alone, Ian.
901
01:08:45,165 --> 01:08:48,042
-Just jump in, it's the only way.
-No, I don't wanna.
902
01:08:48,210 --> 01:08:50,378
-Look, he doesn't want to, Ian.
-Go on, I dare you.
903
01:08:50,670 --> 01:08:51,963
-It's bloody freezing.
-Go on.
904
01:08:52,047 --> 01:08:54,423
-Let him off. Go on, Bax.
-No, no.
905
01:08:54,717 --> 01:08:58,345
70% of the world is covered in water.
It's a very dangerous place.
906
01:08:58,429 --> 01:09:00,680
-Go on, Bax. Go on.
-Where are you going?
907
01:09:01,557 --> 01:09:03,600
-Oi!
Why don't you jump in?
908
01:09:04,435 --> 01:09:06,436
Actually, I was a brilliant swimmer.
909
01:09:07,856 --> 01:09:10,107
Don't you think how lucky we are?
910
01:09:10,484 --> 01:09:12,735
Very big house and a pool
911
01:09:12,819 --> 01:09:14,987
and a record at number one
in the hit parade.
912
01:09:15,656 --> 01:09:18,116
-Don't that make you happy?
-You need sleep, Ian.
913
01:09:18,242 --> 01:09:21,286
Yeah, plenty of time for sleeping
when you're dead.
914
01:09:27,835 --> 01:09:30,462
The last chicken in the shop,
915
01:09:31,548 --> 01:09:34,966
the juicy golden goosey
916
01:09:36,469 --> 01:09:38,345
and I am cooked.
917
01:10:07,001 --> 01:10:10,046
# In the deserts of Sudan
918
01:10:11,590 --> 01:10:15,009
# And the gardens of Japan
919
01:10:16,178 --> 01:10:19,431
# From Milan to Yucatán
920
01:10:20,641 --> 01:10:24,644
# Every womans' every man
921
01:10:25,521 --> 01:10:27,647
# Hit me with your rhythm stick
922
01:10:27,732 --> 01:10:29,566
# Hit me
Hit me
923
01:10:30,068 --> 01:10:31,944
# lst gut, c'est fantastique
924
01:10:32,237 --> 01:10:33,904
# Hit me, hit me, hit me!
925
01:10:34,531 --> 01:10:36,407
# Hit me with your rhythm stick
926
01:10:36,658 --> 01:10:38,743
# lt's nice to be a lunatic
927
01:10:39,078 --> 01:10:41,121
# Hit me!
Hit me!
928
01:10:48,337 --> 01:10:49,921
# Hit me!
929
01:10:52,133 --> 01:10:54,260
Turn your fucking mike down!
I can't hear myself think.
930
01:10:54,761 --> 01:10:56,553
-# Hit me!
-Stop fucking me around!
931
01:10:57,472 --> 01:11:00,724
-Oh, come on, man.
-I already told you once.
932
01:11:04,688 --> 01:11:06,398
Get him off me, I'll fucking kill him!
933
01:11:07,358 --> 01:11:09,234
You're fucking up everything!
934
01:11:14,908 --> 01:11:17,159
Oh, yeah? Forget it!
935
01:11:20,580 --> 01:11:24,292
# Jingle bells
# Rudolph smells
936
01:11:24,376 --> 01:11:26,377
# Santa shagged an elf
937
01:11:26,753 --> 01:11:30,423
# Tiny Tim plays with his crutch
and thinks it is himself
938
01:11:37,723 --> 01:11:39,599
Happy Christmas!
939
01:11:39,809 --> 01:11:42,894
I'm.. .the husband.
940
01:11:47,233 --> 01:11:49,193
So, where'd you get
your black eye from?
941
01:11:49,277 --> 01:11:52,780
Well, it's funny you
should say that, actually, because.. .
942
01:11:53,281 --> 01:11:55,616
-Sorry, what's your name again?
-Clive.
943
01:11:57,035 --> 01:12:02,040
Anyway, so we were at this posh
restaurant. .. Where were we, Strang?
944
01:12:02,124 --> 01:12:03,291
-Oh, Caprice.
-Caprice.
945
01:12:03,375 --> 01:12:07,754
Fucking I look over, right?
And I say,
946
01:12:07,839 --> 01:12:10,882
"Look, it's Omar fucking Sharif. It is!"
947
01:12:10,967 --> 01:12:14,636
So I go all the way over.
And I go over and I says to him,
948
01:12:15,012 --> 01:12:17,556
"Your first film was great
and the rest were shit."
949
01:12:17,640 --> 01:12:20,559
And he said,
"I don't give a fuck what you think."
950
01:12:20,643 --> 01:12:22,729
And I said, "Oh, you're a cunt."
951
01:12:22,813 --> 01:12:24,480
And he said, "Fucking come on, then"
952
01:12:24,564 --> 01:12:26,733
and then he fucking smacked me
right in the face.
953
01:12:26,817 --> 01:12:28,860
I mean, talk about overreacting.
954
01:12:28,944 --> 01:12:31,363
Fucking nice fighter.
955
01:12:31,739 --> 01:12:34,992
That's the most expensive fist
you'll ever have in your mouth.
956
01:12:35,076 --> 01:12:36,910
Do you want stuffing with that?
957
01:12:36,995 --> 01:12:38,871
Ooh.
958
01:12:55,848 --> 01:13:00,977
Not too much for me, darling.
That's too much. Thanks.
959
01:13:49,863 --> 01:13:53,783
"Home improvement expert
960
01:13:53,867 --> 01:13:56,869
"Harold Hill of Harold Hill
961
01:13:58,832 --> 01:14:04,795
"Came home to find another
gentleman's kippers in his grill
962
01:14:07,841 --> 01:14:14,013
"So he sanded the geezer's winkle off
with a Black & Decker drill."
963
01:14:27,320 --> 01:14:29,654
You're all right, Clive.
You know that?
964
01:14:31,074 --> 01:14:32,742
Merry Christmas.
965
01:14:38,039 --> 01:14:40,375
Go on, finish now.
Get on with the fucking thing.
966
01:14:44,213 --> 01:14:46,006
Something wrong with you, man?
"Stand up, sit down."
967
01:14:46,090 --> 01:14:48,424
-I can't keep up with you.
-Oh, whinge, whinge, whinge.
968
01:14:48,801 --> 01:14:50,468
I'm gonna be keeping my eyes on you.
969
01:14:50,678 --> 01:14:52,554
Come out of my face
with that thing, man.
970
01:14:52,889 --> 01:14:54,931
And my name is Desmond, not Sparky.
971
01:14:55,392 --> 01:14:58,352
Desi. Desiré. Desiré.. .
972
01:14:58,561 --> 01:15:00,937
-Desmond.
-All right, Desiré.
973
01:15:01,814 --> 01:15:03,482
Like your shirt, by the way.
974
01:15:03,566 --> 01:15:05,692
I used to have one like that
in the 1 970s, you know.
975
01:15:06,654 --> 01:15:09,071
Oi, come on, give us a smile.
What's wrong with that?
976
01:15:09,197 --> 01:15:11,366
Come inside
and close the blood claat door, man.
977
01:15:11,450 --> 01:15:15,077
Fucking Strang, Strang.
Now we get on with the show.
978
01:15:15,163 --> 01:15:16,746
Right. Time is money. Money is time.
979
01:15:16,830 --> 01:15:19,207
This is expensive equipment.
Can we do this?
980
01:15:19,750 --> 01:15:21,209
Come on, then.
981
01:15:26,925 --> 01:15:30,177
# Noël Coward
was a charmer
982
01:15:31,388 --> 01:15:34,140
# As a writer he was Brahma
983
01:15:34,224 --> 01:15:36,475
-# With. ..
984
01:15:36,560 --> 01:15:37,894
l can't be dealing with this thing, man.
985
01:15:37,978 --> 01:15:40,021
What was wrong with that?
That was perfect.
986
01:15:40,105 --> 01:15:41,189
Do it again. Do it again.
987
01:15:41,273 --> 01:15:43,775
Sorry. Sorry, guys.
I'm sorry, I'm so sorry.
988
01:15:43,859 --> 01:15:45,777
Please forgive me.
Please, please, please. All right.
989
01:15:47,363 --> 01:15:50,574
They've got no fucking sense
of humour, that lot, I tell you.
990
01:15:51,242 --> 01:15:54,369
# Noël Coward
was a charmer.. . #
991
01:15:54,454 --> 01:15:56,038
- Try pitching it up a little bit.
- What?
992
01:15:56,122 --> 01:15:58,332
Pitch it. Pitch it.
Listen to the white boy and add pitch.
993
01:15:58,416 --> 01:16:00,793
-Pitching? They want pitching.
-Okay, we're gonna do one more.
994
01:16:00,877 --> 01:16:03,003
Fuck 'em.
-This is ridiculous, man.
995
01:16:03,088 --> 01:16:05,215
lt sound like a bad version
of Barry White.
996
01:16:05,299 --> 01:16:07,258
-What the fuck did he just say?
-You better. ..
997
01:16:07,343 --> 01:16:09,219
Chaz. What did he say?
998
01:16:09,428 --> 01:16:11,847
All right. One more time.
999
01:16:13,558 --> 01:16:15,517
Just. ..
Just cool the fuck down, man.
1000
01:16:28,240 --> 01:16:31,618
Get me up! Get me fucking up.
You cunt!
1001
01:16:31,702 --> 01:16:34,078
Look at my drums! Look at my drums!
1002
01:16:34,162 --> 01:16:36,873
You don't touch
one of my instruments, you. ..
1003
01:16:38,209 --> 01:16:39,834
That's it.
1004
01:16:40,794 --> 01:16:43,546
-Get out of my studio.
-Look, look. Look.
1005
01:16:43,631 --> 01:16:46,842
See, I've got egg all over
my fucking face and I'm all right.
1006
01:16:46,968 --> 01:16:49,219
Jesus. I'll kill you!
1007
01:16:51,765 --> 01:16:53,682
-Just calm down.
-Fuck off, mate.
1008
01:16:53,767 --> 01:16:56,185
-You is a dead man.
-Where's my fucking manager?
1009
01:16:56,270 --> 01:16:58,479
You're a dead man. You're a dead man.
1010
01:16:59,064 --> 01:17:01,399
-Here are your eggs.
-You're a dead man.
1011
01:17:01,483 --> 01:17:04,778
The only thing a manager is good for
is doing up your fly
1012
01:17:04,862 --> 01:17:06,613
after a good fucking wank.
1013
01:17:07,490 --> 01:17:10,617
Barry White. l'll give you
Barry fucking White, you cunt.
1014
01:17:24,049 --> 01:17:26,592
.. .never try to teach a pig to sing
1015
01:17:27,261 --> 01:17:29,888
because it wastes time
and it annoys the pig!
1016
01:17:31,974 --> 01:17:37,646
# Do re mi so far so good!
1017
01:17:41,526 --> 01:17:43,902
Police brutality!
1018
01:18:11,224 --> 01:18:12,725
I'm sorry.
1019
01:18:49,223 --> 01:18:52,934
I know. We all want to
escape ourselves.
1020
01:18:53,310 --> 01:18:55,103
Best to learn your place.
1021
01:18:57,565 --> 01:18:59,232
Accept your cripplage.
1022
01:19:07,117 --> 01:19:08,159
Denny.
1023
01:19:10,746 --> 01:19:12,580
It's good to see you.
1024
01:19:14,750 --> 01:19:16,584
I think I need a bit of saving.
1025
01:19:17,753 --> 01:19:19,421
Where you been?
1026
01:19:20,173 --> 01:19:21,714
Coming and going.
1027
01:19:25,678 --> 01:19:27,262
-Oi, oi.
-Oi, oi.
1028
01:19:32,644 --> 01:19:34,227
Ian, I, um. ..
1029
01:19:35,355 --> 01:19:37,648
-I need some time off.
-Yeah, don't we all?
1030
01:19:37,732 --> 01:19:42,361
Yeah, I need to, um, get away
and do my own stuff.
1031
01:19:42,988 --> 01:19:44,488
Don't be a doughnut.
There's plenty of time for all that
1032
01:19:44,573 --> 01:19:46,700
-when you've had a proper shave.
-I'm serious.
1033
01:19:49,412 --> 01:19:53,290
-Is there a boozer round here?
-Yeah, round the corner. The Feathers.
1034
01:20:04,470 --> 01:20:06,721
So, Baxter.
1035
01:20:06,805 --> 01:20:10,933
I understand you've found it difficult
to fit in at other schools.
1036
01:20:11,810 --> 01:20:16,564
Well, our motto here is ex corde vita.
1037
01:20:17,108 --> 01:20:19,818
Out of the heart springs life.
1038
01:20:21,821 --> 01:20:24,365
Baxter. Baxter.
1039
01:20:24,907 --> 01:20:27,368
Tell me,
what would you like to achieve here?
1040
01:20:27,452 --> 01:20:29,286
What would you like to do?
1041
01:20:30,247 --> 01:20:31,831
Hmm?
1042
01:20:32,916 --> 01:20:34,626
Baxter?
1043
01:20:38,964 --> 01:20:40,548
I'll tell you what.
1044
01:20:40,633 --> 01:20:43,885
I'll leave you alone for a moment,
just to have a little think.
1045
01:20:56,858 --> 01:21:02,071
# Arseholes, bastards,
fucking cunts and pricks
1046
01:21:05,367 --> 01:21:10,455
# Aerosol the bricks
1047
01:21:13,834 --> 01:21:18,839
# A lawless brat from a council flat
Oh, oh
1048
01:22:14,232 --> 01:22:15,649
Come on, Baxter.
1049
01:22:16,275 --> 01:22:20,154
That's it. Come on, sit up straight.
It's all right. It's okay.
1050
01:22:20,280 --> 01:22:23,908
Big, deep breaths. Big, deep breaths.
That's a good boy.
1051
01:22:24,076 --> 01:22:26,828
Come on, you can do it.
Fatten your lungs up.
1052
01:22:26,912 --> 01:22:37,005
In and out. In and out.
1053
01:22:37,715 --> 01:22:39,216
That's it. That's it.
1054
01:22:48,644 --> 01:22:50,102
I'm sorry.
1055
01:22:52,356 --> 01:22:55,108
-You're always saying you're sorry.
-Am I?
1056
01:22:55,526 --> 01:22:57,152
Yeah.
1057
01:22:59,947 --> 01:23:03,283
Well, that's 'cause.. .
Well, that's 'cause I am.
1058
01:23:05,119 --> 01:23:06,578
Okay.
1059
01:23:10,333 --> 01:23:12,293
You don't want to be like me, Baxter.
1060
01:23:13,128 --> 01:23:15,087
Please don't try and be like me.
1061
01:23:18,008 --> 01:23:19,592
You want to be like you.
1062
01:23:22,095 --> 01:23:24,096
We're all on our own, remember?
1063
01:23:25,516 --> 01:23:27,976
No, Dad. I'm here.
1064
01:23:46,997 --> 01:23:48,748
What's been going on?
1065
01:23:49,333 --> 01:23:50,875
Just the same, you know.
1066
01:23:51,877 --> 01:23:53,336
How are you?
1067
01:23:55,840 --> 01:23:57,924
Sometimes it doesn't work out, okay?
1068
01:24:05,058 --> 01:24:07,351
Sometimes you have to save yourself.
1069
01:24:28,333 --> 01:24:30,292
Did you have a nice time, Bax?
1070
01:24:34,131 --> 01:24:35,506
How's your dad?
1071
01:24:38,927 --> 01:24:41,387
"I'm fine, Mummy. Thanks for asking."
1072
01:25:03,412 --> 01:25:08,917
Mum? Mum? Mum!
1073
01:25:28,772 --> 01:25:30,898
Christ almighty.
1074
01:25:31,650 --> 01:25:33,359
Language.
1075
01:25:48,376 --> 01:25:49,960
You look terrible.
1076
01:25:51,629 --> 01:25:53,172
Thanks.
1077
01:25:57,469 --> 01:25:58,928
Grapes.
1078
01:26:05,185 --> 01:26:07,103
-I blame myself.
-For the grapes?
1079
01:26:09,815 --> 01:26:13,610
I've not been particularly full
of the joie de vivre.
1080
01:26:16,698 --> 01:26:18,323
All the colours have gone.
1081
01:26:21,745 --> 01:26:23,621
Wanted the world to go away, too.
1082
01:26:27,667 --> 01:26:29,085
It almost did.
1083
01:26:31,171 --> 01:26:33,965
Count the blessings
in the here and now, eh?
1084
01:26:39,597 --> 01:26:41,055
Tired, Ian.
1085
01:26:42,517 --> 01:26:44,226
Will you stay?
1086
01:26:47,522 --> 01:26:49,148
Of course I will.
1087
01:27:03,790 --> 01:27:06,958
-Okay, everyone. So this is Ian.
-Hello.
1088
01:27:07,043 --> 01:27:09,586
Ian used to be a student here
a few years back.
1089
01:27:09,879 --> 01:27:13,632
And everyone's very excited
about you being here, aren't we?
1090
01:27:13,758 --> 01:27:15,301
Well, thank you very much.
It's nice to be here.
1091
01:27:15,385 --> 01:27:17,803
Ian, I think you said it's okay
if people ask you questions.
1092
01:27:17,888 --> 01:27:19,513
Yeah, go on, pile them in.
1093
01:27:22,142 --> 01:27:24,143
Don't all rush at once.
1094
01:27:24,227 --> 01:27:26,771
-Okay, so.. .
-Who'll go first?
1095
01:27:27,398 --> 01:27:30,108
Finished? Is that it? Right.
Well, I'm off, then.
1096
01:27:30,193 --> 01:27:32,694
Oh, I don't know why they got so quiet
now. They were really noisy before.
1097
01:27:32,820 --> 01:27:35,280
Oh, yeah. Cortez, you wanted
to talk to Ian, didn't you?
1098
01:27:37,200 --> 01:27:39,535
-Hello.
-He says hello.
1099
01:27:39,619 --> 01:27:42,996
Oh, hello, mate. Hello. How you going?
You all right? What you been up to?
1100
01:27:45,542 --> 01:27:48,336
Did you always
1101
01:27:48,420 --> 01:27:52,423
want to be a singer?
1102
01:27:52,507 --> 01:27:54,718
-Did you always want to be a.. .
-Singer.
1103
01:27:55,553 --> 01:27:57,679
Well, I don't really think
of myself as a singer,
1104
01:27:57,763 --> 01:28:00,974
as it happens, I think of myself
as more of an entertainer, really.
1105
01:28:01,058 --> 01:28:02,934
You know,
I always wanted to get up on a stage.
1106
01:28:03,018 --> 01:28:05,020
Give it all that, you know.
1107
01:28:06,898 --> 01:28:09,524
I don't know how much longer
I can get away with it, really,
1108
01:28:09,943 --> 01:28:11,652
'cause I'm a bit of an old chap.
1109
01:28:11,737 --> 01:28:14,321
Anybody else?
1110
01:28:18,118 --> 01:28:21,913
-Do you believe in God?
-What's that?
1111
01:28:22,414 --> 01:28:26,752
Do you believe in almighty God
who created us in His image?
1112
01:28:27,754 --> 01:28:33,091
I believe in good,
which I think is the same thing.
1113
01:28:33,301 --> 01:28:35,261
But do you believe in God?
Up in heaven?
1114
01:28:35,803 --> 01:28:38,931
Oh, I used to, but, erm. ..
1115
01:28:40,267 --> 01:28:42,476
-But not any more.
-Why not?
1116
01:28:44,688 --> 01:28:47,732
Because I think that down here
on Earth, I think that's. ..
1117
01:28:49,277 --> 01:28:51,528
that's where you got
to get your nut together.
1118
01:28:52,071 --> 01:28:54,990
-Typical.
-Did you just say "typical"?
1119
01:28:56,910 --> 01:28:59,411
He's a cheeky
little bugger, isn't he?
1120
01:29:02,791 --> 01:29:04,291
You're gonna help me
write a song, okay?
1121
01:29:04,376 --> 01:29:06,335
You're going to help me
with the rhythm, right?
1122
01:29:06,420 --> 01:29:08,962
Now, rhythm.
Who's tricky with rhythm? Eh?
1123
01:29:09,214 --> 01:29:11,215
Right. Rhythm, I'll have you know,
1124
01:29:11,300 --> 01:29:12,884
is the longest word
in the English dictionary
1125
01:29:12,968 --> 01:29:14,427
without any vowels in it, right?
1126
01:29:14,511 --> 01:29:18,014
It's very, very special
because you can feel it right here.
1127
01:29:18,348 --> 01:29:21,435
I'm gonna give you a rhythm, all right?
One, two, three, four.
1128
01:29:23,103 --> 01:29:25,981
One, two, three, four. Wait for it.
1129
01:29:27,442 --> 01:29:31,320
One, two, three, four.
One, two, three, four.
1130
01:29:31,404 --> 01:29:32,863
One, two, three.. .
1131
01:29:37,911 --> 01:29:39,787
All right, louder. Everybody louder.
1132
01:29:41,039 --> 01:29:44,960
Louder! Louder!
1133
01:29:47,379 --> 01:29:50,507
Go crazy! Go crazy with it! Come on.
1134
01:29:50,592 --> 01:29:52,759
Louder!
1135
01:29:59,684 --> 01:30:01,894
I think that went really well.
Thank you so much.
1136
01:30:01,979 --> 01:30:05,064
I had a fight with a guy
called Jimmy Coghill behind that tree.
1137
01:30:06,274 --> 01:30:08,610
Did you really?
Did you win?
1138
01:30:08,694 --> 01:30:10,152
No, he knocked
seven tons of shit out of me.
1139
01:30:11,864 --> 01:30:16,659
There was an orderly here by the name
of Hargreaves. Is he still going?
1140
01:30:16,744 --> 01:30:21,164
I'm sorry, Ian. It was a while ago,
but Mr Hargreaves took his own life.
1141
01:30:22,166 --> 01:30:25,085
He hanged himself
up in one of the attics.
1142
01:30:25,169 --> 01:30:26,670
Yeah, it's very sad.
1143
01:30:36,515 --> 01:30:38,767
That has made my day, that has.
1144
01:30:46,776 --> 01:30:48,818
-See you.
-Yeah, thanks again.
1145
01:31:00,874 --> 01:31:02,792
I don't know who you are any more.
1146
01:31:05,837 --> 01:31:07,547
But you know what I really can't take?
1147
01:31:10,509 --> 01:31:12,093
It's the hope.
1148
01:31:13,971 --> 01:31:16,723
The hope that it's gonna get better.
1149
01:31:21,939 --> 01:31:23,605
It's not, is it?
1150
01:31:30,197 --> 01:31:32,282
Everything's out of joint.
1151
01:31:34,910 --> 01:31:37,579
I don't really know
if I've got the bollocks to stop it.
1152
01:31:45,755 --> 01:31:47,840
You've got to get out of here, Denny.
1153
01:31:50,719 --> 01:31:53,012
Run away.
And you got to do it all by yourself.
1154
01:31:56,851 --> 01:32:00,228
You'll still be my gracious, my family.
1155
01:32:02,648 --> 01:32:06,776
And if you ever forget that,
act sorry for yourself,
1156
01:32:06,861 --> 01:32:09,321
I'll come back
and I'll bleedin' well haunt you.
1157
01:32:10,490 --> 01:32:11,949
You understand?
1158
01:32:12,993 --> 01:32:15,911
Hello, it's Graham,
from the Spastics Society.
1159
01:32:15,996 --> 01:32:17,622
We spoke on the phone.
1160
01:32:39,896 --> 01:32:44,817
"Full participation and equality
for all." That's the motto.
1161
01:32:44,902 --> 01:32:47,028
This United Nations
Year of the Disabled
1162
01:32:47,112 --> 01:32:49,656
is a tremendous opportunity, you know,
1163
01:32:49,740 --> 01:32:52,825
to make people really sit up and think.
1164
01:32:52,910 --> 01:32:56,329
Of course, we're going to need
all the help we can get, so. ..
1165
01:32:57,373 --> 01:32:59,541
Wouldn't it be wonderful
if you could get back on top again?
1166
01:32:59,625 --> 01:33:02,502
Maybe you get a new song,
maybe another hit single. Who knows?
1167
01:33:03,630 --> 01:33:06,173
-The UN are very keen.
-Are they?
1168
01:33:08,343 --> 01:33:11,887
I understand you've been dabbling
in a spot of acting.
1169
01:33:11,971 --> 01:33:15,058
Oh, yeah, I've played a few villains
in me time. Typecast.
1170
01:33:15,142 --> 01:33:18,311
Well, here's an opportunity
to introduce yourself all over again.
1171
01:33:18,395 --> 01:33:20,563
You know, a new fan base,
new beginnings.
1172
01:33:21,691 --> 01:33:23,650
Oh, dear.
Your friend seems to have gone.
1173
01:33:23,734 --> 01:33:25,902
Well, look, you seem to be
in a spot of trouble.
1174
01:33:25,986 --> 01:33:27,946
May I give you a lift?
1175
01:33:31,534 --> 01:33:33,786
Yeah. That'd be great.
1176
01:34:43,694 --> 01:34:46,154
It's really. ..
It's really great to have you back.
1177
01:34:47,282 --> 01:34:49,032
The prodigal son returns.
1178
01:34:51,411 --> 01:34:56,957
To be a geezer like me, you got to be
a bit of a selfish loony, really.
1179
01:34:57,042 --> 01:35:01,086
Can't bother too much
about day and night
1180
01:35:01,296 --> 01:35:03,047
and right and wrong and so forth.
1181
01:35:03,715 --> 01:35:08,928
And occasionally one's behaviour
1182
01:35:10,056 --> 01:35:12,265
makes one ashamed of oneself.
1183
01:35:14,435 --> 01:35:16,102
Well, I'm glad to hear it.
1184
01:35:17,564 --> 01:35:22,984
Anyway, this Year of the Disabled. ..
Got a chance now to get back on top.
1185
01:35:23,069 --> 01:35:24,528
Proper deals going down, so. ..
1186
01:35:25,488 --> 01:35:29,533
So, what have you got?
1187
01:35:30,410 --> 01:35:34,414
# When Tessie Trouble's on patrol
1188
01:35:35,708 --> 01:35:39,544
# And Suzie Sadness makes you blue
1189
01:35:40,713 --> 01:35:44,466
# When Lennie Love
come through the door
1190
01:36:01,110 --> 01:36:03,069
Well, it's not
Sex, Drugs & Rock & Roll, is it?
1191
01:36:03,153 --> 01:36:06,280
Bollocks,
bollocks, bollocks.
1192
01:36:07,324 --> 01:36:09,075
Fucking Year of Disabled.
1193
01:36:09,577 --> 01:36:12,162
I mean, it's like, what?
Like, last year we was fine
1194
01:36:12,247 --> 01:36:14,664
and next year is going to be great,
but this year, just this year,
1195
01:36:14,749 --> 01:36:17,793
oh, we're all gonna be a right bunch
of fucking cripples, aren't we, eh?
1196
01:36:17,878 --> 01:36:19,754
Why don't we just form a band?
1197
01:36:19,963 --> 01:36:23,633
I know, I know, we can call ourselves
Spastic and the Autistics.
1198
01:36:25,051 --> 01:36:29,055
Oi, oi! You dribblin', wibblin',
scribblin', cripplin' little
1199
01:36:29,140 --> 01:36:33,309
fucking hobblin', wobblin', bobblin'
fantastic spastic!
1200
01:36:37,064 --> 01:36:38,565
I like it.
1201
01:36:38,691 --> 01:36:41,902
And welcome back.
Well, we all like a bit of jazz, don't we?
1202
01:36:41,986 --> 01:36:45,364
And so, turning to our next item
and that's the continuing controversy
1203
01:36:45,448 --> 01:36:48,075
surrounding the United Nations
Year of the Disabled.
1204
01:36:48,160 --> 01:36:51,829
We're going to hear from lan Drury,
the housewife's favourite punk rocker,
1205
01:36:51,914 --> 01:36:54,331
the man who put the phrase
"sex & drugs & rock & roll"
1206
01:36:54,416 --> 01:36:55,875
into the English language,
1207
01:36:55,959 --> 01:36:58,628
and whose new song
Spasticus Autisticus
1208
01:36:58,712 --> 01:37:01,756
has been labelled outrageous
and offensive.
1209
01:37:01,965 --> 01:37:04,634
We also have with us Graham Hart
from the Spastics Society
1210
01:37:04,718 --> 01:37:08,221
to talk about full participation
in the Year of the Disabled.
1211
01:37:08,306 --> 01:37:10,473
-Hello, there.
-So, turning to you first, Ian Drury. ..
1212
01:37:10,559 --> 01:37:14,687
First of all, it's not Drury
or Dreary or Doory, it's Dury.
1213
01:37:16,565 --> 01:37:19,817
But I would like to say that, yeah,
I think we should all fully participate
1214
01:37:19,901 --> 01:37:23,321
in holding Graham down and
chopping off his tiny little bollocks
1215
01:37:23,405 --> 01:37:25,615
-for being a spineless little shit.
-Right, Ian, thank you.
1216
01:37:25,700 --> 01:37:27,116
I don't think this is the time
or the place.
1217
01:37:27,201 --> 01:37:30,454
No, it's not the time or the
place. You're right. It never is, is it?
1218
01:37:30,538 --> 01:37:33,123
I'm terribly sorry.
Will you excuse me, please?
1219
01:37:34,375 --> 01:37:37,336
-Bandit!
-No, nobody has banned anything.
1220
01:37:37,420 --> 01:37:39,629
No, you. You're a bandit.
You're a chiseller.
1221
01:37:39,715 --> 01:37:41,340
Well, they don't ban cripples, either,
do they, eh?
1222
01:37:41,424 --> 01:37:42,967
They just make it difficult for them
to function.
1223
01:37:43,051 --> 01:37:45,386
The song is still being played
on current affairs programmes.
1224
01:37:45,471 --> 01:37:46,929
Great! Yeah, that's great!
1225
01:37:47,055 --> 01:37:49,974
Late at night when all the raspberries
are tucked up in bed,
1226
01:37:50,058 --> 01:37:51,892
oh, not doing any harm to anybody.
1227
01:37:51,978 --> 01:37:53,769
Yes, well, it was found offensive.
1228
01:37:53,855 --> 01:37:55,646
How could I go up to somebody, right,
1229
01:37:55,732 --> 01:37:57,774
who's got the same disabilities as me
and be offensive?
1230
01:37:57,859 --> 01:37:59,860
No, not disabled people so much, no.
1231
01:37:59,944 --> 01:38:03,280
Well, it wasn't written for you, was it?
Eh? The walkie-talkies!
1232
01:38:03,531 --> 01:38:06,325
It's a war cry type of item,
like "Spartacus!"
1233
01:38:06,409 --> 01:38:08,869
Yes, well, if I remember correctly,
Spartacus was crucified.
1234
01:38:08,954 --> 01:38:11,080
Yeah, I'll be in good company, then,
won't I?
1235
01:38:11,164 --> 01:38:14,584
Look, it was felt that what you've
written just isn't very sympathetic.
1236
01:38:14,668 --> 01:38:17,587
Sympathetic?
Life ain't sympathetic, right?
1237
01:38:17,796 --> 01:38:20,172
I'm not Tiny Tim. I am Ian Dury.
1238
01:38:20,258 --> 01:38:23,218
People like me do not want sympathy.
They want respect.
1239
01:38:23,469 --> 01:38:25,012
It's a waste. Okay?
1240
01:38:25,096 --> 01:38:29,016
People felt you had the opportunity
to do something remarkable.
1241
01:38:29,100 --> 01:38:32,144
Your crowning glory, to be remembered
after you've long gone.
1242
01:38:32,228 --> 01:38:34,355
I do not give a shit.
1243
01:38:34,439 --> 01:38:37,233
I don't care if I'm as popular
as a Chinese pig in a synagogue.
1244
01:38:37,317 --> 01:38:41,195
I am not here to be remembered,
I'm here to be alive!
1245
01:38:41,738 --> 01:38:45,199
So you take your Dis-United Nations,
right,
1246
01:38:45,284 --> 01:38:49,328
and your Year of Dissembling and
stick it right up your fucking 'arris.
1247
01:38:51,206 --> 01:38:52,582
Cunt.
1248
01:39:12,271 --> 01:39:14,064
Keep your body strong,
keep your guard up.
1249
01:39:14,148 --> 01:39:16,232
Ian, I need a rest. Ow.
1250
01:39:24,200 --> 01:39:26,159
Clive and I want to be together.
1251
01:39:26,869 --> 01:39:28,704
We don't wanna rush into that.
Look what happened last time.
1252
01:39:28,788 --> 01:39:31,540
Some blokes turn out to be
an absolute nightmare.
1253
01:39:33,418 --> 01:39:35,252
I want a divorce, Ian.
1254
01:39:38,507 --> 01:39:40,007
I still love you.
1255
01:39:41,344 --> 01:39:43,470
It's not about love, silly.
1256
01:39:45,389 --> 01:39:47,182
It's not your choice.
1257
01:39:55,066 --> 01:39:56,525
Let me go.
1258
01:40:03,325 --> 01:40:04,993
Go on, you're fired.
1259
01:40:07,913 --> 01:40:09,497
Darling.
1260
01:40:12,292 --> 01:40:13,835
Getting better.
1261
01:40:17,047 --> 01:40:19,549
You're not gonna shout at me again,
are you?
1262
01:40:37,278 --> 01:40:39,195
You actually been in yet?
1263
01:40:44,118 --> 01:40:45,911
Oh, easy, tiger.
1264
01:40:49,916 --> 01:40:52,793
-How's Mum?
-She's fine. She's gonna be fine.
1265
01:40:53,753 --> 01:40:57,089
Look, it's done.
1266
01:40:58,801 --> 01:41:00,677
We had to let Strangler go,
1267
01:41:00,761 --> 01:41:03,555
'cause, well, the dramas backstage
1268
01:41:03,639 --> 01:41:05,223
were getting better
than the actual show.
1269
01:41:06,725 --> 01:41:08,851
Son, I'm sorry.
1270
01:41:11,189 --> 01:41:12,940
Close your eyes.
1271
01:41:13,399 --> 01:41:15,317
Go on. Go on. Close your eyes.
1272
01:41:18,322 --> 01:41:19,947
Can you feel that?
1273
01:41:20,407 --> 01:41:23,409
Well, that's my hand.
1274
01:41:26,288 --> 01:41:30,834
From now until forever,
I will always be there.
1275
01:41:32,419 --> 01:41:34,295
Just above your shoulder.
1276
01:41:35,089 --> 01:41:36,673
All right?
1277
01:41:57,154 --> 01:41:58,905
I'll tell you what, though.
1278
01:41:58,990 --> 01:42:01,157
I've just been offered a part in a film.
1279
01:42:01,242 --> 01:42:05,370
To play an undernourished villain
who wins in the end through love.
1280
01:42:06,498 --> 01:42:11,168
You could come with.
Be my assistant. If you like.
1281
01:42:17,050 --> 01:42:20,261
-Don't you wanna watch me swim?
-Nah. You'll be all right.
1282
01:42:20,428 --> 01:42:24,056
Just remember, keep your head up,
1283
01:42:24,141 --> 01:42:26,726
keep kicking, try not to drown.
1284
01:42:40,909 --> 01:42:45,788
"When a free man dies,
he loses the pleasure of life.
1285
01:42:47,666 --> 01:42:49,751
"A slave loses his pain.
1286
01:42:51,211 --> 01:42:55,382
"Death is the only freedom
a slave knows.
1287
01:42:56,634 --> 01:42:58,718
"That's why he's not afraid of it.
1288
01:43:01,097 --> 01:43:02,764
"That's why we'll win. .."
1289
01:43:31,296 --> 01:43:33,004
Sit properly.
1290
01:43:35,968 --> 01:43:40,262
-Eat your fish.
-No! It's horrible.
1291
01:43:42,182 --> 01:43:46,060
What did you say?
You do as you're told.
1292
01:43:54,070 --> 01:43:58,491
I said, I ain't eating that,
it's fucking horrible!
1293
01:44:38,117 --> 01:44:39,617
One, two, three.. .
1294
01:44:39,701 --> 01:44:48,376
# l'm Spasticus, Spasticus
Spasticus Autisticus
1295
01:44:48,461 --> 01:44:52,589
# l wiggle when l piddle
'Cause my middle is a riddle
1296
01:44:52,674 --> 01:44:54,383
# Swim!
1297
01:45:09,525 --> 01:45:12,485
# Get up! Get up!
Get up that dive board! Over!
1298
01:45:12,861 --> 01:45:14,321
# Whoo!
1299
01:45:17,742 --> 01:45:21,954
# So place your hard-earned peanuts
in my tin
1300
01:45:22,038 --> 01:45:25,458
# And thank the Creator
you're not in the state l'm in
1301
01:45:26,376 --> 01:45:29,545
# So long have l been languished
on the shelf
1302
01:45:30,547 --> 01:45:33,132
# l must give all proceedings to myself
1303
01:45:34,760 --> 01:45:43,102
# l'm Spasticus, Spasticus
Spasticus Autisticus
1304
01:45:43,228 --> 01:45:47,439
# 54 appliances in leather and elastic
1305
01:45:47,523 --> 01:45:52,612
# 1 00,000 thank-yous from 27 spastics
1306
01:45:52,904 --> 01:45:55,948
# Spasticus
Spasticus Autisticus
1307
01:45:56,032 --> 01:46:00,120
# l'm Spasticus, Spasticus
Spasticus Autisticus
1308
01:46:00,204 --> 01:46:02,330
# Dribbling, wiggling,
fiddling, nibbling
1309
01:46:02,414 --> 01:46:07,418
# Fiddling, diddling,
widdling, diddling Spasticus
1310
01:46:07,503 --> 01:46:10,797
-I'm Spasticus!
-I'm Spasticus!
1311
01:46:10,882 --> 01:46:13,842
# l'm Spasticus!
1312
01:46:13,926 --> 01:46:16,970
-Dad!
-I'm Spasticus!
1313
01:46:17,930 --> 01:46:23,102
I'm Spasticus!
1314
01:46:23,478 --> 01:46:26,606
# One, two, three, four
Spasticus!
1315
01:46:26,774 --> 01:46:28,691
Ian! Ian! Ian!
1316
01:46:53,427 --> 01:46:56,220
And the moral of the story is
1317
01:46:59,099 --> 01:47:00,850
don't go looking for morals in stories.
1318
01:47:00,935 --> 01:47:03,853
lf you want a message,
fuck off down the post office.
1319
01:47:06,066 --> 01:47:11,028
Someone once asked me
if l'd missed anything.
1320
01:47:11,446 --> 01:47:13,072
Well.. .
1321
01:47:14,240 --> 01:47:20,037
lf l'd never had a good-looking girl,
a great job, great haircut,
1322
01:47:20,121 --> 01:47:22,040
then l could complain,
1323
01:47:22,124 --> 01:47:24,459
but the only thing l've ever missed
is a few buses.
1324
01:47:28,923 --> 01:47:30,841
One Iast time, Chazanova.
1325
01:47:34,887 --> 01:47:36,680
# Blue Gene baby
1326
01:47:39,476 --> 01:47:44,230
Now, there are a couple of ways
to avoid death.
1327
01:47:45,858 --> 01:47:49,986
And one of them is to be magnificent.
1328
01:47:51,614 --> 01:47:53,281
And this is my favourite way.
1329
01:47:57,328 --> 01:48:01,915
# Skinny white sailor
The chances were slender
1330
01:48:02,000 --> 01:48:04,376
# The beauties were brief
1331
01:48:06,087 --> 01:48:11,300
# Shall l mourn your decline
with some Thunderbird wine
1332
01:48:11,385 --> 01:48:13,636
# And a black handkerchief?
1333
01:48:15,389 --> 01:48:17,223
# l miss your sad
1334
01:48:19,769 --> 01:48:22,020
# Virginia whisper
1335
01:48:24,899 --> 01:48:26,900
# l miss the voice
1336
01:48:29,279 --> 01:48:31,989
# That called my heart
1337
01:48:35,869 --> 01:48:41,582
# Sweet Gene Vincent
1338
01:48:45,421 --> 01:48:49,090
# Young and old
1339
01:48:53,430 --> 01:48:54,888
# And gone #
1340
01:49:45,943 --> 01:49:52,241
# Why don't you get back into bed?
1341
01:49:52,325 --> 01:49:55,494
# Reasons to be cheerful, part three
1342
01:49:56,663 --> 01:49:58,539
# Some of Buddy Holly,
the working folly
1343
01:49:58,624 --> 01:50:00,625
# Good Golly Miss Molly and boats
1344
01:50:00,709 --> 01:50:02,918
# Hammersmith Palais,
the Bolshoi Ballet
1345
01:50:03,003 --> 01:50:05,004
# Jump back in the alley
add nanny goats
1346
01:50:05,089 --> 01:50:06,965
# 1 8-wheeler ScammeIls,
Domineker camels
1347
01:50:07,049 --> 01:50:09,134
# All other mammals plus equal votes
1348
01:50:09,218 --> 01:50:11,261
# Seeing Piccadilly,
Fanny Smith and Willy
1349
01:50:11,345 --> 01:50:13,263
# Being rather silly and porridge oats
1350
01:50:13,347 --> 01:50:15,348
# A bit of grin and bear it,
a bit of come and share it
1351
01:50:15,433 --> 01:50:17,268
# You're welcome, we can spare it
yellow socks
1352
01:50:17,352 --> 01:50:19,645
# Too short to be haughty,
too nutty to be naughty
1353
01:50:19,729 --> 01:50:21,730
# Going on 40, no electric shocks
1354
01:50:21,814 --> 01:50:23,774
# The juice of the carrot,
the smile of the parrot
1355
01:50:23,858 --> 01:50:25,902
# A little drop of claret,
anything that rocks
1356
01:50:25,986 --> 01:50:27,904
# Elvis and Scotty
days when l ain't spotty
1357
01:50:27,988 --> 01:50:30,114
# Sitting on the potty, curing smallpox
1358
01:50:30,198 --> 01:50:42,502
# Reasons to be cheerful, part three
1359
01:50:42,586 --> 01:50:46,381
# Reasons to be cheerful
One, two, three
1360
01:50:57,269 --> 01:50:59,270
# One, two, three
1361
01:50:59,354 --> 01:51:01,355
# Health service glasses
Gigolos and brasses
1362
01:51:01,440 --> 01:51:03,442
# Round or skinny bottoms
1363
01:51:03,526 --> 01:51:05,569
# Take your mum to Paris
lighting up the chalice
1364
01:51:05,653 --> 01:51:07,737
# Wee Willie Harris
1365
01:51:07,822 --> 01:51:11,616
# Bantu Stephen Biko, listening to Rico
Harpo, Groucho, Chico
1366
01:51:11,952 --> 01:51:13,953
# Cheddar cheese and pickle
the Vincent motorsickle
1367
01:51:14,037 --> 01:51:16,080
# Slap and tickle
1368
01:51:16,164 --> 01:51:17,915
# Woody Allen, Dalí,
Dimitri and Pasquale
1369
01:51:17,999 --> 01:51:20,125
# Balabalabala and Volare
1370
01:51:20,210 --> 01:51:22,252
# Something nice to study
phoning up a buddy
1371
01:51:22,338 --> 01:51:24,297
# Being in my nuddy
1372
01:51:24,381 --> 01:51:26,507
# Saying okey-dokey,
singalong-a-Smokie
1373
01:51:26,592 --> 01:51:28,051
# Coming out of chokey
1374
01:51:28,594 --> 01:51:30,511
# John Coltrane's soprano,
Adi Celentano
1375
01:51:30,596 --> 01:51:32,931
# Bonar Colleano
1376
01:51:33,015 --> 01:51:45,152
# Reasons to be cheerful, part three
1377
01:51:45,237 --> 01:51:49,406
# Reasons to be cheerful
One, two, three
1378
01:51:57,625 --> 01:51:59,084
# Yes, yes, dear, dear
1379
01:51:59,168 --> 01:52:01,669
# Perhaps next year
or maybe even never
1380
01:52:01,754 --> 01:52:05,132
# ln which case
1381
01:52:39,670 --> 01:52:51,139
# Reasons to be cheerful, part three
1382
01:52:52,141 --> 01:52:56,102
# Reasons to be cheerful
One, two, three
1383
01:52:56,437 --> 01:53:07,448
# Reasons to be cheerful, part three
1384
01:53:08,867 --> 01:53:13,162
# Reasons to be cheerful
One, two, three
1385
01:53:13,997 --> 01:53:16,624
Johnny!
1386
01:53:50,703 --> 01:53:54,789
# Reasons to be cheerful
One, two, three
1387
01:53:57,710 --> 01:53:59,419
# Oi, oi, oi!
1388
01:54:01,172 --> 01:54:03,132
# One, two, three
1389
01:54:34,542 --> 01:54:37,960
Oi, oi. Oi. Oi. Oi. Oi. Oi. Oi.
1390
01:54:38,671 --> 01:54:40,797
Now, fuck off all of you. You're fired!
1391
01:54:40,881 --> 01:54:42,549
And go and be magnificent!
105840
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.