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{\an8}[thrilling orchestral music playing]
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{\an8}[narrator] Four years ago,
Nick and Audrey Spitz
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00:00:39,062 --> 00:00:42,396
solved some of the most
high-profile murders of the century.
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- [music continues]
- [gasps]
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[Audrey] Oh my God! Oh my God!
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- Should we pull it out?
- No, it's a foot-long knife.
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- [all screaming]
- I'll put it back in.
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- Don't put it back.
- [all moaning and yelling]
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[narrator]
Like many overnight success stories,
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00:00:57,104 --> 00:00:59,687
Nick and Audrey
immediately quit their jobs
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00:00:59,687 --> 00:01:01,437
and poured their life savings
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00:01:01,437 --> 00:01:04,396
into pursuing a career
as private investigators.
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- [loud crunching]
- [Audrey] Hmm.
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00:01:06,479 --> 00:01:07,437
Uh...
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- Yeah.
- Would you excuse me?
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Mm. Yes, not a problem.
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[crunching continues]
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Are you kidding me right now
with those potato chips?
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Are you seriously yelling at me?
I watched you eat two shrimp cocktails.
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Stop distracting me. Okay?
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[narrator] Unfortunately,
it's not going very well.
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Men get to a certain stage in their life.
It's nothing to do with you.
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Not all men.
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- No, but--
- Don't get mad at me for this.
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- [door closes]
- [woman] You've been cheating on me, Ron.
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- Really? After 25 years?
- [sighs]
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[Ron] Baby...
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I've been going out on my own so I could
plan a surprise wedding anniversary.
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- No, that's so sweet!
- That's...
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- [Ron] Come on. I love you.
- I'm so sorry.
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Excuse us, you guys.
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If you don't mind just paying this bill,
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we'll be out of your lovebuggin' hair.
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- A bill? You're billing her?
- Yeah, no.
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We made a deal--
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You were hitting on me!
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- I was undercover.
- Pretend--
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This keeps getting better and better.
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[narrator] With business struggling,
Nick and Audrey
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could only pray for a miracle...
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You better run!
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...that someone close to them
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would be killed.
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[soft high-pitched sounds echoing]
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[low snorting, moaning]
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Oh God!
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Honey, honey, honey. Hey!
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Can't you put on beach waves
or something nice?
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[Nick] The whale noises
help me fall asleep.
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- You took away my Ambien, so...
- [Audrey] You know why?
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Remember the last time you took Ambien?
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You went sleepwalking into the lobby
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wearing my underwear, and then
you started watering the couch.
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I don't remember doing that.
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Look. Doorman took a picture.
It's my screen saver.
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- Uh, that's somebody else.
- [Audrey] Okay.
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Listen, baby, if you can't sleep, um,
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we could try to, uh,
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{\an8}knock out a chapter together.
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{\an8}[Nick] I read a few pages.
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That guy doesn't know
what he's talking about.
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[Audrey] Honey, this is the guy
that wrote the test.
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The test you need to take to get licensed.
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[Nick] I was a real cop.
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I don't need some piece of paper
telling me I know what I'm doing.
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I know what I'm doing!
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But we both agreed
that it would help our business
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if we just, you know, took the course.
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Do you really think our business
is struggling because of that?
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I think we would get better clientele
if both of us were licensed.
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Only way to get better clientele
is better marketing.
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Better marketing?
Like your floss business cards?
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- Yes.
- [Audrey] Seriously? God!
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It's called "disruptive marketing."
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It's not disruptive. It's confusing.
We're not dentists. We're--
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[whale noises start up]
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I can talk louder than the sound machine.
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- [volume increasing]
- [Audrey] Honey, come on!
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[Nick] Fine. Forget it.
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Do you not wanna do this anymore?
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I do. I wanna do this. It's just...
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It's all we ever do is talk about work.
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Do you know any couples who also
work together that actually get along?
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Billie Eilish and Finneas.
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They're brother and sister.
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Look, baby, I know this isn't
what we pictured when we got into this--
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[cell phone playing Indian hip-hop music]
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What the hell is that?
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Uh, it's my phone.
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[phone continues ringing and vibrating]
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Yo! Rajah! Namaste. What's up, my brother?
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[Maharajah]
Yo! What are you doing, Nicky Nick?
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Are you mowing your lawn or something?
What do I hear right now?
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Yo, I'm chillin' on a Jet Ski, dog!
[laughs]
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On a Jet Ski and on the phone
at the same time?
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[Maharajah] Yo, Nick.
Broski. My brosephus.
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The Maharajah is getting married!
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Oh, that's incredible!
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Let me tell Audrey. Audrey!
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He's getting married.
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- What?
- [Nick] Oh yeah.
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Vik! Congratulations!
We're so happy for you!
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Thank you! She's a dime piece from Paris.
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You know,
where the Eiffel Tower is and shit.
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I'm getting married this weekend
on my new private island.
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I want you and Nick to come,
all expenses paid.
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I need to see you two ballers
out on the dance floor busting a nut!
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"Busting a move," you mean.
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Nah, dude, I got...
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Oh shit!
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[yells]
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- [line disconnects]
- What's happening?
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Did you hear "all-expenses-paid"?
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- We have to work this weekend.
- I gotta say, I could use a getaway.
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Remember what happened
last time we went on a getaway?
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Yeah, some people died.
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Not s-- A lot of people.
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You think five people dying's a lot?
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All right. Hold on.
Just gonna think for a second.
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- She's caving in.
- Okay, so...
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- She's caving in.
- Just wait.
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No. Go ahead.
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Okay, I do agree.
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I think we could both use
a little bit of a break.
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- A break?
- From all this.
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- Just no work for a minute, you know?
- Not--
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- It's--
- No. For at least a weekend.
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The whole weekend.
We can... Let's not... Let's just...
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Our minds need the no work.
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- I can't talk--
- I got chills! Goosebumps!
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'Cause we're gonna do this, aren't we?
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[dynamic music playing]
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- Wow. How about that. Mm-hmm.
- Such a good decision.
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You like the view, Mr. and Mrs. Shitz?
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Oh. You know what?
Excuse me. I'm so sorry. It's...
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We're Nick and Audrey Spitz. It's, um...
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But, yes, it's a gorgeous view.
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Would you like some music,
Mr. and Mrs. Shitz?
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We're the Spitzes not the Shitzes. Okay?
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Yes, I have some Pitbull
or, uh, Taylor Shitz.
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- Okay. He's sticking with the Shitz.
- Puts "Shitz" at the end of everything.
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Where are you from?
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I'm, uh, from the, uh... European!
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We're guessing Shitzerland?
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[both laughing]
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[laughing]
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♪ Ooh, girl, don't you stop
Tell your mom, girl ♪
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♪ And I won't stop it
Until you're mine, girl ♪
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♪ And you can't stop that
Until you're mine, girl ♪
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♪ And I can't find out what you want ♪
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♪ Tell your mom, girl, and I won't stop it
Until you're mine, girl ♪
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♪ And you can't stop that
Until you're mine, girl, ha ♪
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♪ Ooh, girl, don't you stop... ♪
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[Nick] Let me get off this.
What the heck? Thank you!
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[Audrey] This is unbelievable!
I'm gonna cry!
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- Did we die? Are we in heaven? What the--
- [gasps] This is so nice!
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The flamingos got diapers on
so they don't crap the lawn!
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[Audrey] Wow!
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[Vik shouting] Nick and Audrey!
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- Hey! My man!
- Hey, hey, hey!
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- Maharajah!
- [Vik] The heroes of Lake Como!
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And my sister and my brother
from another mother!
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- [continues exclaiming]
- [Audrey] Oh my God!
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- Hey! Oh my God!
- [all whooping]
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- [Nick] Look at you!
- Oh!
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Nick and Audrey, may I present to you
Mademoiselle Claudette Joubert.
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[in French] Joubert.
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[in English] I'm Audrey.
It is such a pleasure to meet you.
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You are more beautiful
than Vikram described.
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[Audrey] Oh! Oh. Oh.
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- That's funny. Got 'em all.
- Oh!
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Four? I thought it was two.
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And Nick.
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- I've been wanting to meet you.
- All right!
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Congratulations.
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Thank you. I appreciate that.
Yeah. I love it.
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- Okay! All right, stop!
- [Nick] What happened?
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[Audrey] Cut it out!
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[Claudette] Please, come.
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[Audrey] I have to tell you,
Paris is my favorite city in the world.
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- When was the last time you were there?
- Hmm. Oh, I've actually not been there.
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But I just know from the movies
and from the pictures and--
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[Nick] Hey, thanks for the wedding invite.
So happy you could squeeze us in.
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- [Vik] No, for sure, man!
- Unbelievable!
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We had extra seats 'cause my parents died.
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00:07:59,812 --> 00:08:01,604
- Ooh! I'm--
- Oh! I'm so sorry.
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[Nick] That's terrible.
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[laughs] No! I'm just kidding!
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00:08:04,979 --> 00:08:07,229
Oh, okay. So, they're coming?
190
00:08:07,229 --> 00:08:10,437
Uh, no, they died,
but they were never gonna come.
191
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'Cause I hated them.
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- There you go. All right. That's--
- Okay.
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Oh. Colonel, you know the Spitzes.
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- What?
- Colonel!
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My friends!
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00:08:20,646 --> 00:08:22,896
- My God!
- Oh my God. What happened to your arm?
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Is it that noticeable?
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Last time we saw you,
you had a lot more of... of your arm.
199
00:08:29,021 --> 00:08:32,604
Well, if I had to lose one,
that would be the one to lose
200
00:08:32,604 --> 00:08:34,771
because it's already missing a hand.
201
00:08:34,771 --> 00:08:37,562
You don't have to share the armrest now
at the movie theater.
202
00:08:37,562 --> 00:08:40,479
- [all chuckle]
- Yo, yo, yo. But real talk.
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00:08:40,479 --> 00:08:43,646
The Colonel stopped a bullet
meant for me in Mumbai.
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00:08:43,646 --> 00:08:45,604
- You kidding?
- Somebody tried to shoot you?
205
00:08:45,604 --> 00:08:48,604
Yeah. Some people don't like
the way my company does business.
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00:08:48,604 --> 00:08:52,562
Sadly, the Colonel's injury stops him
from protecting me to the fullest,
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00:08:52,562 --> 00:08:54,562
so I had to get me a new head bodyguard.
208
00:08:54,562 --> 00:08:55,896
Mr. Louis!
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- Check it out, right?
- [Audrey] Hello, Louis!
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And, yo, my man is fully armed.
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00:09:00,104 --> 00:09:02,021
[Nick] He's fully armed. That's funny!
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00:09:02,021 --> 00:09:04,646
Okay. I hope
you don't find anything in there.
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00:09:04,646 --> 00:09:06,687
- I hope not!
- [all laugh]
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00:09:06,687 --> 00:09:07,771
I hate to say it.
215
00:09:07,771 --> 00:09:11,104
If you and the Colonel are ever caught
in a fight, my money's on the Colonel.
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00:09:11,104 --> 00:09:14,437
He'd open a can of whoop ass
with his, uh... with his good arm.
217
00:09:14,437 --> 00:09:16,646
No? You didn't like that one?
I was joking around.
218
00:09:16,646 --> 00:09:17,979
- Nice to meet you.
- Let's go.
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00:09:17,979 --> 00:09:18,896
Follow me.
220
00:09:18,896 --> 00:09:19,979
[Nick] Coming. Coming.
221
00:09:22,104 --> 00:09:23,604
[gentle music playing]
222
00:09:25,187 --> 00:09:26,104
[Nick] Sounds great!
223
00:09:26,104 --> 00:09:29,021
[Claudette] I'm assuming you've never been
to an Indian wedding before.
224
00:09:29,021 --> 00:09:31,646
- [laughing] Why would you assume that?
- Oh, so you have?
225
00:09:31,646 --> 00:09:32,771
Uh, no.
226
00:09:32,771 --> 00:09:37,021
So tonight is the Sangeet.
It's like a rehearsal dinner.
227
00:09:37,021 --> 00:09:41,646
And then we have, um, a very dramatic
surprise entrance plan
228
00:09:41,646 --> 00:09:43,771
that I think you'll find
quite entertaining.
229
00:09:43,771 --> 00:09:45,687
- [phone rings]
- [Claudette] I need to take this.
230
00:09:45,687 --> 00:09:48,729
Your villa should have everything
you need. Make yourselves at home.
231
00:09:50,187 --> 00:09:51,271
- And we--
- Bye! Enjoy!
232
00:09:51,271 --> 00:09:53,104
- Bye. Thank you.
- No more kisses. Cool.
233
00:09:53,104 --> 00:09:56,979
[sighs] She was working in a watch shop
off La Place Vendôme when I met her.
234
00:09:56,979 --> 00:09:58,104
Not a penny to her name.
235
00:09:58,104 --> 00:10:00,146
Love at first sight, you know what I mean?
236
00:10:00,146 --> 00:10:02,021
She just fills me with like... [grunts]
237
00:10:02,021 --> 00:10:03,687
- With happiness.
- [Nick] That's nice.
238
00:10:03,687 --> 00:10:05,521
I see that same happiness in you two
239
00:10:05,521 --> 00:10:07,021
when you look at each other.
240
00:10:08,062 --> 00:10:09,896
You guys are happy, right?
241
00:10:09,896 --> 00:10:12,271
- Us? Are you kidding?
- Without her, I would not be happy.
242
00:10:12,271 --> 00:10:15,104
- With her, I'm the happiest.
- Not a day goes by where I just wanna go...
243
00:10:15,104 --> 00:10:16,687
[grunts] I love you so much.
244
00:10:16,687 --> 00:10:19,521
She makes every decision for us,
and I'm fine with that.
245
00:10:19,521 --> 00:10:22,521
- Now get in there and have fun, all right?
- [Nick] Thank you so much.
246
00:10:22,521 --> 00:10:24,562
- [Vik] Enjoy yourself.
- Okay. Oh, so we...
247
00:10:24,562 --> 00:10:26,562
- Okay. Bye, buddy!
- [Vik] Louis, let's go.
248
00:10:26,562 --> 00:10:28,646
["Weekend Friend" by Goth Babe playing]
249
00:10:30,562 --> 00:10:33,896
Oh my God!
250
00:10:37,437 --> 00:10:40,021
I mean, goddamn.
251
00:10:40,021 --> 00:10:41,521
Goddamn!
252
00:10:41,521 --> 00:10:43,604
Look at this! Oh my God!
253
00:10:43,604 --> 00:10:45,812
- [Nick] Look at this! This!
- [Audrey] Wow!
254
00:10:45,812 --> 00:10:49,604
- [Nick] Babe, the TV's gigantic!
- Oh my God.
255
00:10:49,604 --> 00:10:51,479
- [Nick] Look at this thing!
- [beeps]
256
00:10:51,479 --> 00:10:53,312
- [whirring]
- Huh?
257
00:10:56,229 --> 00:10:57,104
What?!
258
00:10:57,646 --> 00:10:58,812
[laughing] Oh!
259
00:10:58,812 --> 00:11:00,562
We got a convertible, baby!
260
00:11:00,562 --> 00:11:03,187
Put this... in your face.
261
00:11:03,187 --> 00:11:04,187
[Nick] Mm-hmm.
262
00:11:05,229 --> 00:11:06,437
Is this unicorn cheese?
263
00:11:06,437 --> 00:11:08,854
- Oh my God. Baby, a gift box.
- Okay.
264
00:11:08,854 --> 00:11:11,896
I'm gonna go with one more
piece of cheese, then I'm done with this.
265
00:11:11,896 --> 00:11:13,979
- [Audrey] What? Are these for us?
- [Nick] Earrings?
266
00:11:13,979 --> 00:11:15,896
- [Audrey] Oh!
- These are good ones, aren't they?
267
00:11:15,896 --> 00:11:17,146
I cannot believe this!
268
00:11:17,146 --> 00:11:19,479
- We get our own iPhones!
- No way!
269
00:11:19,479 --> 00:11:22,021
- What did we give out at our wedding?
- Oh, flip-flops!
270
00:11:22,021 --> 00:11:24,562
Flip-flops,
and we gave out Advil or some shit?
271
00:11:24,562 --> 00:11:26,771
- Vintage Air Jordans?
- [Audrey] This is insane!
272
00:11:26,771 --> 00:11:27,687
[Nick] My size?
273
00:11:27,687 --> 00:11:31,604
Wouldn't be a gift box from the Maharajah
if it didn't have something kinky in it.
274
00:11:31,604 --> 00:11:33,896
- Those are gonna get you in trouble.
- You promise?
275
00:11:33,896 --> 00:11:37,479
- Oh! I like that response. Okay.
- Hey!
276
00:11:37,479 --> 00:11:38,604
- What?
- [Nick] Okay.
277
00:11:39,104 --> 00:11:40,021
[Audrey] Wait.
278
00:11:40,021 --> 00:11:41,896
We just... This has just happened.
279
00:11:41,896 --> 00:11:44,187
- How'd they do that so fast?
- It's incredible.
280
00:11:44,187 --> 00:11:46,729
{\an8}[Audrey] Honey! It says "Nick and Audrey"!
281
00:11:47,479 --> 00:11:51,146
- Oh my God! You gotta come in this bed!
- [Nick] I'm coming, baby!
282
00:11:51,146 --> 00:11:53,896
- [Audrey] Oh!
- [Nick] I'm coming! I'm coming! Hey!
283
00:11:53,896 --> 00:11:55,104
Oh my God!
284
00:11:55,104 --> 00:11:56,396
Ow! Baby!
285
00:11:56,396 --> 00:11:57,521
- Oh!
- Oh!
286
00:11:57,521 --> 00:11:58,979
- Oh gosh.
- All right. What?
287
00:11:59,646 --> 00:12:01,979
I don't know
if I packed appropriately for this event.
288
00:12:01,979 --> 00:12:03,562
- I gotta check.
- I'm coming with!
289
00:12:03,562 --> 00:12:07,062
- [Audrey] I gotta check.
- [Nick] I'm coming with! Let's go!
290
00:12:07,896 --> 00:12:08,729
[gasps]
291
00:12:09,562 --> 00:12:10,396
Oh!
292
00:12:12,271 --> 00:12:14,646
- Oh my God!
- Okay, that's good.
293
00:12:14,646 --> 00:12:16,271
That's your stuff. Yeah.
294
00:12:16,271 --> 00:12:17,312
Do you see this?
295
00:12:17,312 --> 00:12:18,979
- I've never seen anything--
- All right.
296
00:12:30,562 --> 00:12:32,896
- [Audrey] Baby, you look so handsome.
- I...
297
00:12:32,896 --> 00:12:35,104
I can't believe you pulled that off.
298
00:12:35,104 --> 00:12:37,729
- Well, I'm gonna pull that off.
- [Audrey] Let's go.
299
00:12:37,729 --> 00:12:39,771
[Nick] Please tell me
you're gonna keep that.
300
00:12:39,771 --> 00:12:42,104
["Khadke Glassy
(from "Jabariya Jodi")" playing]
301
00:12:42,104 --> 00:12:43,229
Oh my God!
302
00:12:46,687 --> 00:12:48,521
- [Audrey] Hi!
- [Nick] Hey, how are ya?
303
00:12:53,979 --> 00:12:55,146
Audrey!
304
00:12:55,146 --> 00:12:57,021
- [Audrey] Ah, Colonel!
- [Nick] Hey.
305
00:12:57,021 --> 00:12:58,937
- Stunning!
- Thank you!
306
00:12:58,937 --> 00:13:00,896
Oh, how handsome are you, man?
307
00:13:00,896 --> 00:13:02,771
I only have eye for you, Nick.
308
00:13:02,771 --> 00:13:05,521
Oh! You better keep it that way!
All right!
309
00:13:10,312 --> 00:13:13,479
In a most beautiful place
on a most beautiful night,
310
00:13:13,479 --> 00:13:16,646
you have to be
the most beautiful thing of all.
311
00:13:16,646 --> 00:13:17,562
Um...
312
00:13:18,062 --> 00:13:21,771
Whoa. Okay. Definitely kissing
every single finger I have.
313
00:13:21,771 --> 00:13:24,146
I have made love
to more than 10,000 women.
314
00:13:24,146 --> 00:13:26,521
- [Audrey murmurs]
- None as ravishing as you.
315
00:13:26,521 --> 00:13:28,479
Okay. Well, speaking
of staggering numbers,
316
00:13:28,479 --> 00:13:31,062
this is my husband of 16 years.
317
00:13:31,062 --> 00:13:32,521
I've made love to one woman.
318
00:13:32,521 --> 00:13:35,396
- And I did it terribly, by the way.
- [Audrey] All right.
319
00:13:35,396 --> 00:13:39,146
Holy sh-- This is... You're that guy,
Francisco Perez, yeah?
320
00:13:39,146 --> 00:13:40,896
This guy used to be a soccer player.
321
00:13:40,896 --> 00:13:43,812
He headbutted some dude one time
and put him into a coma.
322
00:13:43,812 --> 00:13:47,521
Yeah. I know. I hit him so hard,
he lost his ability to blink.
323
00:13:48,437 --> 00:13:50,604
Anyway, it was so nice to meet you.
So, we're go--
324
00:13:50,604 --> 00:13:52,979
What about you?
How do you know the Maharajah?
325
00:13:52,979 --> 00:13:54,646
Well, after I retired from football,
326
00:13:54,646 --> 00:13:57,229
his father made me
the chairman of the board of directors
327
00:13:57,229 --> 00:13:58,646
of Shiz-Vik, his company.
328
00:13:58,646 --> 00:14:03,312
Also, I helped him land that beautiful
bride of his, the blonde. [chuckles]
329
00:14:03,812 --> 00:14:06,229
Although she has nothing
on this one. My God.
330
00:14:06,229 --> 00:14:07,437
- Okay.
- Okay.
331
00:14:07,437 --> 00:14:09,021
I'll see you in a second.
332
00:14:09,021 --> 00:14:11,937
$10,000, you can have one night with her.
333
00:14:11,937 --> 00:14:13,812
I'm kidding, you sick bastard.
334
00:14:14,312 --> 00:14:16,312
[pop music playing in background]
335
00:14:19,396 --> 00:14:21,104
[woman] That's quite the plate.
336
00:14:21,104 --> 00:14:23,604
Do they not have food where you come from?
337
00:14:24,104 --> 00:14:25,604
Oh, um...
338
00:14:26,229 --> 00:14:30,771
No, you know, I just... I'm so used
to my husband just eating off my plate,
339
00:14:30,771 --> 00:14:32,271
so it's sort of become a habit.
340
00:14:32,271 --> 00:14:34,729
But, no, you're absolutely right.
I don't need this.
341
00:14:34,729 --> 00:14:37,354
No, no, no! Don't put it back.
342
00:14:37,979 --> 00:14:39,979
- I was not gonna do that.
- [woman scoffs]
343
00:14:40,562 --> 00:14:41,604
Americans.
344
00:14:42,104 --> 00:14:44,187
[scoffs] Americans. [chuckles]
345
00:15:00,312 --> 00:15:01,562
Would you care for one?
346
00:15:02,354 --> 00:15:04,479
Oh, I'm so good.
Thank you. Maybe another time.
347
00:15:04,479 --> 00:15:05,562
[woman speaks Hindi]
348
00:15:06,187 --> 00:15:07,396
- [Audrey] So, um...
- Thank you.
349
00:15:07,396 --> 00:15:09,021
Are you on the bride's side?
350
00:15:09,021 --> 00:15:11,312
No, I'm Saira, groom's sister.
351
00:15:11,312 --> 00:15:14,062
I did not know Vik had a sister.
352
00:15:14,062 --> 00:15:15,354
Yeah. [chuckles]
353
00:15:16,187 --> 00:15:17,396
[Audrey groans]
354
00:15:17,396 --> 00:15:19,604
- These are very low tables!
- [chuckles]
355
00:15:20,396 --> 00:15:23,521
Are you reading 'cause you don't like
weddings like this, or...
356
00:15:23,521 --> 00:15:26,854
No, you know,
it's more that I don't like people.
357
00:15:26,854 --> 00:15:28,937
I mean, these people in particular.
358
00:15:28,937 --> 00:15:32,021
I guess as long as Claudette
and your brother have fun,
359
00:15:32,021 --> 00:15:33,271
that's all that matters.
360
00:15:33,271 --> 00:15:36,562
Right. I don't really understand
how anyone gets married.
361
00:15:36,562 --> 00:15:39,812
Spending so much time
with one person. Can you imagine?
362
00:15:39,812 --> 00:15:42,854
- [man coughing and wheezing]
- [Audrey] Hmm...
363
00:15:42,854 --> 00:15:45,146
[coughing]
364
00:15:45,146 --> 00:15:48,896
Well, speaking of my one person,
365
00:15:49,562 --> 00:15:50,604
there he is.
366
00:15:50,604 --> 00:15:53,146
Nick, this is Saira.
367
00:15:53,146 --> 00:15:54,479
This is Vik's sister.
368
00:15:55,062 --> 00:15:56,146
- Would you...
- [Saira] No.
369
00:15:56,146 --> 00:15:57,479
- You good?
- [Audrey] She's good.
370
00:15:57,479 --> 00:15:59,354
- I am Nick. Nice to meet you.
- Saira.
371
00:15:59,354 --> 00:16:00,687
Love your brother, by the way.
372
00:16:00,687 --> 00:16:02,396
- He's hysterical.
- [Saira] Right.
373
00:16:02,396 --> 00:16:03,521
Oh boy.
374
00:16:05,604 --> 00:16:08,437
Okay, if you're trying to seduce me,
it's really not working.
375
00:16:08,437 --> 00:16:09,479
Oh my God.
376
00:16:09,479 --> 00:16:13,354
Hey, Nick. I was just thinking
about your lovely wife.
377
00:16:13,354 --> 00:16:14,604
Oh, you again.
378
00:16:14,604 --> 00:16:16,312
I see you've already met Francisco.
379
00:16:16,312 --> 00:16:19,479
And I guess you're both acquainted
with Vikram's harpy of a sister.
380
00:16:19,479 --> 00:16:21,729
- Did he say "herpe"?
- Harpy.
381
00:16:21,729 --> 00:16:25,562
Countess! How humiliating it must be
for you to see Claudette
382
00:16:25,562 --> 00:16:27,979
actually close a deal with the Maharajah.
383
00:16:27,979 --> 00:16:30,687
Ever wonder what
you might have done wrong, dear?
384
00:16:30,687 --> 00:16:34,771
Ever wonder what it feels like
to be tall enough to ride a rollercoaster?
385
00:16:34,771 --> 00:16:38,104
[woman snickering]
386
00:16:38,104 --> 00:16:39,896
That's Countess Sekou.
387
00:16:39,896 --> 00:16:41,646
She's Vik's ex-fiancée,
388
00:16:41,646 --> 00:16:44,229
and she's
Claudette's old university roommate.
389
00:16:44,229 --> 00:16:47,479
And they're still friends?
She's quite rude, by the way.
390
00:16:47,479 --> 00:16:50,729
Well, on top of all that,
she's also Claudette's maid of honor.
391
00:16:50,729 --> 00:16:51,646
- [Audrey] What?
- Yeah.
392
00:16:51,646 --> 00:16:55,604
[man over PA] Hope you watched the video
because the dancing is about to begin!
393
00:16:55,604 --> 00:16:58,062
- What dancing?
- I'm gonna fake going to the bathroom.
394
00:16:58,062 --> 00:17:00,396
- I don't dance. You dance.
- I didn't get a video. Did you?
395
00:17:00,396 --> 00:17:01,854
They brought one to the room.
396
00:17:01,854 --> 00:17:03,312
- I forgot to tell you.
- Thanks.
397
00:17:03,312 --> 00:17:05,646
[rhythmical drumming]
398
00:17:08,562 --> 00:17:10,312
["King Dee Wedding" begins to play]
399
00:17:11,812 --> 00:17:13,396
[singing in Hindi]
400
00:17:29,604 --> 00:17:34,146
[man over PA] Ladies and gentlemen,
please help me welcome the bride!
401
00:17:34,146 --> 00:17:36,562
[cheering]
402
00:17:52,146 --> 00:17:54,021
[laughing] You get 'em!
403
00:18:00,937 --> 00:18:02,354
[all exclaiming]
404
00:18:02,979 --> 00:18:04,104
[all exclaiming]
405
00:18:06,437 --> 00:18:07,604
Come with us!
406
00:18:22,604 --> 00:18:23,479
All right, come on!
407
00:18:30,354 --> 00:18:31,771
- Come on, baby!
- [screams]
408
00:18:39,187 --> 00:18:41,437
[over PA] And now it's time!
409
00:18:41,437 --> 00:18:44,229
The moment you've all been waiting for.
410
00:18:44,229 --> 00:18:47,812
The groom, Vikram Govindan!
411
00:18:47,812 --> 00:18:48,896
[elephant trumpets]
412
00:18:48,896 --> 00:18:50,396
This is crazy!
413
00:18:50,396 --> 00:18:52,312
[music continues]
414
00:19:05,229 --> 00:19:06,437
[all gasp]
415
00:19:06,437 --> 00:19:07,521
[screaming]
416
00:19:07,521 --> 00:19:09,229
[clamoring]
417
00:19:09,229 --> 00:19:10,187
Brother!
418
00:19:10,187 --> 00:19:12,854
Back! Get everybody back!
Get everybody back!
419
00:19:12,854 --> 00:19:13,854
[guard] Stay back!
420
00:19:13,854 --> 00:19:14,771
Vik!
421
00:19:14,771 --> 00:19:16,687
- [Nick] Okay, all right.
- [Claudette shrieks]
422
00:19:17,687 --> 00:19:18,979
[Claudette] Is he dead?
423
00:19:18,979 --> 00:19:20,479
[onlookers gasping]
424
00:19:20,479 --> 00:19:22,104
It's not him. It's not Vik.
425
00:19:22,104 --> 00:19:23,854
Oh, thank God! It's only Mr. Lou.
426
00:19:25,021 --> 00:19:28,104
- Who did this to you?
- [Claudette] Where is Vik? Hey!
427
00:19:28,104 --> 00:19:30,271
[Audrey] Who? What? Oh my gosh!
428
00:19:30,271 --> 00:19:31,521
Where is Vik?
429
00:19:31,521 --> 00:19:33,896
- Who did this to you?
- Who was it? Do you remember?
430
00:19:33,896 --> 00:19:34,812
It was...
431
00:19:34,812 --> 00:19:37,437
[Nick] Say it. Say it.
Don't die. Don't die!
432
00:19:37,437 --> 00:19:39,562
- [Audrey] Oh my gosh!
- [Claudette] Where is Vik?
433
00:19:39,562 --> 00:19:41,021
[guard 1] Clear! Clear! Come on!
434
00:19:41,021 --> 00:19:44,396
- Come on! Come on! Come on! Go!
- [guard 2] Clear!
435
00:19:44,396 --> 00:19:46,437
- [Nick] This is a distraction.
- [Audrey] From what?
436
00:19:47,104 --> 00:19:47,937
From the escape!
437
00:19:47,937 --> 00:19:50,021
[dramatic music playing]
438
00:20:03,104 --> 00:20:05,021
- [Colonel] Are you serious?
- [shutter clicks]
439
00:20:05,021 --> 00:20:07,104
What do you mean
all communication systems are down?
440
00:20:07,104 --> 00:20:08,896
Get them up and running!
441
00:20:08,896 --> 00:20:12,687
We have a security officer compromised.
We need medical attention immediately.
442
00:20:12,687 --> 00:20:13,729
[sighs] Okay.
443
00:20:14,479 --> 00:20:15,521
[Vik] Help!
444
00:20:15,521 --> 00:20:18,146
Yo, you hatin’ hard on me right now, son!
445
00:20:18,146 --> 00:20:20,187
- Homeboy!
- [Vik] Nick!
446
00:20:23,896 --> 00:20:25,312
[boat engine revs]
447
00:20:25,312 --> 00:20:27,271
[Vik yelling] Nick!
448
00:20:27,271 --> 00:20:29,812
This is some janky-ass shit!
449
00:20:31,271 --> 00:20:33,021
[Colonel] Lock down the island
450
00:20:33,021 --> 00:20:35,687
until the security cameras
are back online.
451
00:20:36,187 --> 00:20:38,271
All guests are to remain in their rooms.
452
00:20:38,271 --> 00:20:41,937
Oh my God. We need to get ahead of this,
or our shares will plummet.
453
00:20:41,937 --> 00:20:43,187
My brother could be dead
454
00:20:43,187 --> 00:20:45,687
and the only thing you're concerned about
are share prices?
455
00:20:45,687 --> 00:20:47,812
Oh! [laughs]
456
00:20:47,812 --> 00:20:51,104
How do you think our investors will react
when news of this gets out,
457
00:20:51,104 --> 00:20:53,729
you little Miss Minority Shareholder?
458
00:20:53,729 --> 00:20:56,729
Giving all her money
to save the whales and heal the planet
459
00:20:56,729 --> 00:20:58,146
and all that nonsense.
460
00:20:58,854 --> 00:21:01,146
Colonel. Where is Vik?
461
00:21:01,979 --> 00:21:03,229
Where is my husband?
462
00:21:03,229 --> 00:21:05,729
[Colonel] We will find him.
We will find him.
463
00:21:05,729 --> 00:21:07,604
[panting]
464
00:21:07,604 --> 00:21:09,437
The Maharajah's been kidnapped.
465
00:21:09,437 --> 00:21:10,854
- What?
- [Countess] Oh my God!
466
00:21:10,854 --> 00:21:12,812
- Where did they take him?
- [Nick] He's alive.
467
00:21:12,812 --> 00:21:16,146
Somebody with a machine gun
threw him on a boat, and they took off.
468
00:21:16,146 --> 00:21:17,562
- How many kidnappers?
- [Nick] One.
469
00:21:17,562 --> 00:21:20,021
Which means his partner
is still here on the island.
470
00:21:20,021 --> 00:21:22,479
Hold on. How do you know there were two?
471
00:21:22,479 --> 00:21:25,604
If the kidnapper had Vik
and was taking him to the boat...
472
00:21:25,604 --> 00:21:28,479
Ah, someone else
was leading the elephant into the tent.
473
00:21:28,479 --> 00:21:31,187
- Thank you.
- There are 400 people on this island.
474
00:21:31,187 --> 00:21:32,437
That's a lot of suspects.
475
00:21:32,437 --> 00:21:34,687
Let us narrow it down for you,
okay, Colonel?
476
00:21:34,687 --> 00:21:38,271
Claudette, how many people knew about
the elephant being part of the ceremony?
477
00:21:38,271 --> 00:21:39,187
Just the board.
478
00:21:39,187 --> 00:21:42,396
Yeah, we had to sign off at the expense
of transporting an elephant.
479
00:21:42,396 --> 00:21:44,396
So that means all of you.
480
00:21:44,396 --> 00:21:45,979
What are you implying?
481
00:21:45,979 --> 00:21:48,937
I think it's very obvious
what I'm implying.
482
00:21:48,937 --> 00:21:51,562
- [Nick] Mm-hmm.
- One of you is an accomplice to a murder.
483
00:21:52,062 --> 00:21:54,521
[mysterious music playing]
484
00:21:54,521 --> 00:21:56,229
- That is ridiculous!
- I'm not on the board!
485
00:21:56,229 --> 00:21:59,021
Is it? You all hated my brother!
486
00:21:59,021 --> 00:22:01,229
What? No, I... I love Vik.
487
00:22:01,229 --> 00:22:03,062
[scoffs] Oh, please!
488
00:22:03,062 --> 00:22:05,562
- You've never forgiven me.
- For what?
489
00:22:05,562 --> 00:22:08,271
- Breaking up your engagement.
- Oh, get over yourself.
490
00:22:08,271 --> 00:22:11,729
It was an arranged marriage
between our families.
491
00:22:11,729 --> 00:22:16,062
We amicably split in order to allow
for your so-called "love marriage."
492
00:22:16,062 --> 00:22:18,812
You didn't want this marriage
to go through so you kidnapped him!
493
00:22:18,812 --> 00:22:20,104
You gold-digging--
494
00:22:20,104 --> 00:22:24,354
- Ladies, stop it!
- Calm down, everybody!
495
00:22:24,354 --> 00:22:27,062
- We do this for a living. It's what we do.
- [Nick] It's our thing.
496
00:22:27,062 --> 00:22:28,896
- And this is not just another case.
- No.
497
00:22:28,896 --> 00:22:31,021
- [Nick] This is personal.
- [Audrey] Yeah, it's Vik.
498
00:22:31,021 --> 00:22:34,229
- [Nick] He means a lot to us.
- [Audrey] So we'll find out who did this.
499
00:22:34,229 --> 00:22:37,479
- [Nick] A hundred percent.
- [Audrey] And find out why they did this.
500
00:22:37,479 --> 00:22:39,062
And we're gonna get Vik back, okay?
501
00:22:39,062 --> 00:22:42,646
We're gonna do this
for the low, low price of $25 million.
502
00:22:42,646 --> 00:22:44,812
[silence]
503
00:22:46,062 --> 00:22:48,479
Twenty-five mil, honey. I swear to God.
504
00:22:48,479 --> 00:22:50,187
[Nick] I would've settled for ten grand.
505
00:22:50,187 --> 00:22:51,687
So insane.
506
00:22:53,271 --> 00:22:54,312
[Nick grunts]
507
00:22:54,312 --> 00:22:56,146
What are you doing?
508
00:22:56,146 --> 00:22:58,479
[Nick] I'm blocking the door
so no one can get in.
509
00:22:58,479 --> 00:23:00,271
[Audrey]
Honey, you're gonna hurt your back.
510
00:23:00,271 --> 00:23:03,187
You know what would hurt my back?
A knife going through it.
511
00:23:03,187 --> 00:23:04,687
The killer knows we're on to him.
512
00:23:04,687 --> 00:23:06,771
We're on the next-to-kill list.
I guarantee it.
513
00:23:06,771 --> 00:23:07,729
What happened to Vik?
514
00:23:07,729 --> 00:23:10,187
A guy that rich
gets kidnapped for the money.
515
00:23:10,187 --> 00:23:11,812
There's no profit in hurting him.
516
00:23:11,812 --> 00:23:15,104
Oh God. We're not gonna be invited
anywhere ever again. Ever again.
517
00:23:15,104 --> 00:23:17,521
The cheese has a hold on me, honey.
I can't stop.
518
00:23:17,521 --> 00:23:20,729
Are you just... Will you take a slice
like a civilized person?
519
00:23:20,729 --> 00:23:22,187
I don't know where the knife is.
520
00:23:22,187 --> 00:23:24,687
- Oh Jesus!
- [Nick] What? You got a headache?
521
00:23:24,687 --> 00:23:26,021
- Yes!
- [Nick] I'm sorry.
522
00:23:26,021 --> 00:23:27,896
- How's your back?
- My back's killing me.
523
00:23:27,896 --> 00:23:29,354
- I'll get Advil.
- Please. Please.
524
00:23:29,354 --> 00:23:32,729
- I'm gonna get more cheese in me.
- Honey, do not eat all that cheese.
525
00:23:32,729 --> 00:23:34,812
That affects... You're terrible all night.
526
00:23:34,812 --> 00:23:36,229
- Absolutely.
- Oh.
527
00:23:36,229 --> 00:23:39,854
And I have pictures from the tent
of a burned robe with bloodstains.
528
00:23:39,854 --> 00:23:41,687
Someone was trying
to get rid of the evidence,
529
00:23:41,687 --> 00:23:43,896
and I'm sure it was the elephant handler.
530
00:23:43,896 --> 00:23:45,229
Good detecting, sweetheart.
531
00:23:45,229 --> 00:23:47,229
- I'm doing my best. Here.
- [Nick] Okay. Thank you.
532
00:23:47,229 --> 00:23:49,271
- [Audrey] One, two, three, four.
- [Nick] Okay.
533
00:23:50,187 --> 00:23:52,521
- [frantic knocking on door]
- [dramatic music playing]
534
00:23:52,521 --> 00:23:54,062
[Nick] I gotta move this stuff now?
535
00:23:54,062 --> 00:23:55,354
What if that's the killer?
536
00:23:55,354 --> 00:23:57,687
- Killers don't knock.
- What if it's housekeeping?
537
00:23:57,687 --> 00:24:00,396
We... We're good! We don't need any towels.
538
00:24:00,396 --> 00:24:03,229
No! No! We do need towels.
Leave 'em out front, please!
539
00:24:03,229 --> 00:24:05,354
We've been here ten minutes.
You need more towels?
540
00:24:05,354 --> 00:24:07,187
You use 30 towels after every shower.
541
00:24:07,187 --> 00:24:08,687
I'm sorry. At least I shower.
542
00:24:08,687 --> 00:24:10,062
All right, you got me there.
543
00:24:10,062 --> 00:24:11,979
[Francisco] It's me, Francisco!
544
00:24:11,979 --> 00:24:12,979
Francisco?
545
00:24:12,979 --> 00:24:15,104
Wait, wait, wait. What if he's the killer?
546
00:24:15,104 --> 00:24:17,604
The only thing
he wants to murder is your hm-hm!
547
00:24:17,604 --> 00:24:18,521
Hey!
548
00:24:18,521 --> 00:24:20,896
- [Francisco] Hurry! There's no time!
- [Nick] Be right there!
549
00:24:20,896 --> 00:24:22,687
- [Audrey] We're hurrying!
- [Nick] We know!
550
00:24:25,312 --> 00:24:26,229
So sorry.
551
00:24:26,229 --> 00:24:27,479
- [Nick] Hey.
- Hey.
552
00:24:29,312 --> 00:24:30,771
- You.
- [Nick] Mm-hmm.
553
00:24:31,396 --> 00:24:32,396
Gorgeous.
554
00:24:33,771 --> 00:24:35,437
[Nick] Jesus Christ. All right.
555
00:24:36,187 --> 00:24:37,729
[Audrey] Put this back. You said hurry.
556
00:24:37,729 --> 00:24:39,771
What's... How can we help?
557
00:24:39,771 --> 00:24:41,521
- I have information.
- [Nick] Yes.
558
00:24:41,521 --> 00:24:43,812
Everyone thinks Claudette
is this gold digger,
559
00:24:43,812 --> 00:24:47,521
but what's not so well known
is the fact that, as a precaution,
560
00:24:47,521 --> 00:24:50,646
the board made her sign a brutal prenup.
561
00:24:50,646 --> 00:24:55,271
So that means if Vik divorces her,
she's left with nothin'.
562
00:24:56,271 --> 00:24:58,312
[dramatic music swells]
563
00:24:58,312 --> 00:25:01,396
- I gotta move this shit again?
- Wait. Wait. Who is it?
564
00:25:01,396 --> 00:25:03,896
[Claudette] It's Claudette.
You must hear what I have to say.
565
00:25:03,896 --> 00:25:05,479
Okay, one second.
566
00:25:05,479 --> 00:25:06,896
Let's get you in the closet.
567
00:25:06,896 --> 00:25:09,271
[Nick] Okay, be right there.
I gotta get some cheese.
568
00:25:09,271 --> 00:25:11,479
- Okay. Just go in there.
- [rock scraping floor]
569
00:25:11,479 --> 00:25:13,729
No! Get off of... Jesus!
570
00:25:13,729 --> 00:25:15,562
- Coming, Claudette!
- Sorry! One second.
571
00:25:15,562 --> 00:25:17,229
[breathing heavily]
572
00:25:17,229 --> 00:25:18,146
[Nick] Hurry!
573
00:25:18,896 --> 00:25:20,729
- [Audrey] Hello, Claudette.
- [Nick] Hi.
574
00:25:20,729 --> 00:25:22,104
[Claudette sighs]
575
00:25:23,187 --> 00:25:24,979
[Claudette]
They all think I'm marrying Vik
576
00:25:24,979 --> 00:25:26,937
just for the money,
especially the Countess.
577
00:25:27,896 --> 00:25:29,812
She's been jealous of me
ever since we met.
578
00:25:29,812 --> 00:25:31,937
- Really? I can imagine why.
- I can imagine.
579
00:25:31,937 --> 00:25:34,354
But still, she was my best friend.
580
00:25:34,354 --> 00:25:35,437
- Right.
- [Nick] Sure.
581
00:25:35,437 --> 00:25:36,729
- You know?
- Yeah.
582
00:25:36,729 --> 00:25:38,687
- We were so close.
- [Audrey] Oh!
583
00:25:38,687 --> 00:25:40,854
And I think I just miss her sometimes.
584
00:25:41,437 --> 00:25:44,562
- Oh, sorry.
- [Claudette sobbing]
585
00:25:44,562 --> 00:25:47,479
- I just wanna know who kidnapped my Vik.
- Mm-hmm.
586
00:25:47,479 --> 00:25:49,729
They all have something to gain from this.
587
00:25:49,729 --> 00:25:52,896
Pfft!
588
00:25:52,896 --> 00:25:55,229
- Terrible.
- [Claudette] I can't trust any of them!
589
00:25:55,229 --> 00:25:56,812
- [whispers] There's a gun.
- A gun?
590
00:25:56,812 --> 00:25:59,062
[Claudette] The Colonel,
so bitter about his demotion.
591
00:25:59,062 --> 00:26:01,396
Saira, always starved for attention.
592
00:26:02,062 --> 00:26:04,521
And Vik had just discovered
593
00:26:04,521 --> 00:26:06,187
Francisco's dark secret.
594
00:26:06,187 --> 00:26:08,021
- [Audrey] What?
- [Nick] He had a secret?
595
00:26:08,021 --> 00:26:09,479
- Oh!
- [Nick] Oh God.
596
00:26:09,479 --> 00:26:10,771
- [cocks gun]
- [Audrey gasps]
597
00:26:10,771 --> 00:26:13,229
- [Audrey] We don't need to do that.
- [Nick] That's cool.
598
00:26:13,229 --> 00:26:14,229
Who is it?
599
00:26:14,229 --> 00:26:15,604
It's Saira. Let me in.
600
00:26:15,604 --> 00:26:16,687
Uh, okay. One second.
601
00:26:16,687 --> 00:26:18,521
- I need to hide. The closet!
- No, no, no!
602
00:26:18,521 --> 00:26:20,396
- [Nick] It's too dark.
- Here. Come on.
603
00:26:20,396 --> 00:26:22,521
- [Nick] She has all her stuff.
- One second, Saira!
604
00:26:22,521 --> 00:26:23,854
[Nick] Coming! Be right there!
605
00:26:23,854 --> 00:26:26,062
[Nick straining]
606
00:26:26,062 --> 00:26:27,896
Okay, gotta get to you!
607
00:26:27,896 --> 00:26:30,687
- So sorry. One second.
- Moving around some stuff for fun!
608
00:26:31,896 --> 00:26:34,146
- I know who you need to be looking at.
- [Nick] Who?
609
00:26:34,146 --> 00:26:35,729
- Claudette!
- [Nick] Claudette?
610
00:26:35,729 --> 00:26:38,354
[Saira] I told Vik she was bad news
the minute I met her.
611
00:26:38,354 --> 00:26:40,271
She's suspicious,
narcissistic, manipulative,
612
00:26:40,271 --> 00:26:42,479
and looks cheap as well
in that red dress--
613
00:26:42,479 --> 00:26:45,937
Excuse me! I'm so sorry to interrupt,
but I feel like I'd be a rude hostess
614
00:26:45,937 --> 00:26:49,271
if I didn't offer you a piece of this
exquisite artisan cheese that's...
615
00:26:49,271 --> 00:26:51,896
Nick, where's this...
Where's that cheese? The big--
616
00:26:51,896 --> 00:26:53,354
- The cheese is gone.
- Where is it?
617
00:26:53,354 --> 00:26:54,562
I put it, uh, in my stomach.
618
00:26:54,562 --> 00:26:56,312
You ate that entire block of cheese?
619
00:26:56,312 --> 00:26:59,812
Trying to shame me. I don't know
if that's gonna get the cheese back--
620
00:26:59,812 --> 00:27:01,937
I'm sorry. I don't mean to be selfish--
621
00:27:01,937 --> 00:27:03,396
Sorry. Hold on. You know what?
622
00:27:03,396 --> 00:27:07,312
Let me give you a drink right now
just to relax you a little bit.
623
00:27:07,312 --> 00:27:08,562
- Here.
- I... I don't want that.
624
00:27:08,562 --> 00:27:10,521
- No? Okay.
- I'm okay.
625
00:27:10,521 --> 00:27:11,687
[frantic knocking]
626
00:27:11,687 --> 00:27:13,896
- Oh shit.
- [Saira] Who is it?
627
00:27:13,896 --> 00:27:15,687
- [Audrey] Not sure.
- You expecting someone?
628
00:27:15,687 --> 00:27:18,021
It's like an after-party.
People just show up.
629
00:27:18,021 --> 00:27:21,104
Let's put you into the bedroom,
just in case, 'cause I don't know.
630
00:27:21,104 --> 00:27:23,354
- I'll hide there.
- Don't hide in there! Why?
631
00:27:23,354 --> 00:27:24,354
That's an obvious spot.
632
00:27:24,354 --> 00:27:26,646
- [Audrey] Is it hot in here?
- I'm hot too.
633
00:27:26,646 --> 00:27:28,187
- I'm coming!
- [knocking continues]
634
00:27:28,187 --> 00:27:29,521
What if that is the killer?
635
00:27:29,521 --> 00:27:32,604
Don't you kinda want it
to be the killer so they can kill us?
636
00:27:32,604 --> 00:27:33,937
I am sick of this shit.
637
00:27:33,937 --> 00:27:35,937
- Baby, I do not feel very good.
- [rock scraping]
638
00:27:35,937 --> 00:27:37,271
[lock clicking]
639
00:27:37,271 --> 00:27:39,604
What's doin'? Yeah?
640
00:27:40,396 --> 00:27:42,104
Hey, great to see you.
641
00:27:42,104 --> 00:27:44,021
What's going on? [chuckles lightly]
642
00:27:46,187 --> 00:27:47,187
[door closes]
643
00:27:47,187 --> 00:27:48,521
[Countess] I know who did it.
644
00:27:48,521 --> 00:27:49,687
Who?
645
00:27:51,937 --> 00:27:53,271
It was Francisco.
646
00:27:53,271 --> 00:27:54,687
Francisco!
647
00:27:54,687 --> 00:27:58,021
He has had over 85 paternity suits
filed against him.
648
00:27:58,021 --> 00:28:00,271
We suspect he's been siphoning money
out of the company
649
00:28:00,271 --> 00:28:02,896
in order to pay
for all of these babies he made.
650
00:28:02,896 --> 00:28:04,729
That's a lie!
651
00:28:04,729 --> 00:28:06,146
Not the part about the babies.
652
00:28:06,146 --> 00:28:09,104
Yes, that's true.
I've spread my seed far and wide,
653
00:28:09,104 --> 00:28:11,937
but I have never stolen in my life.
654
00:28:11,937 --> 00:28:14,437
- What are you doing here?
- An excellent question.
655
00:28:14,437 --> 00:28:17,104
- What are you all doing here?
- Saira's here.
656
00:28:18,146 --> 00:28:20,354
- Nobody move!
- Oh my God!
657
00:28:20,354 --> 00:28:21,396
I ain't moving.
658
00:28:21,396 --> 00:28:22,937
[cell phone ringing]
659
00:28:23,896 --> 00:28:24,812
It's mine. It's mine.
660
00:28:26,312 --> 00:28:27,771
- I missed it.
- [Nick] Missed the call?
661
00:28:28,396 --> 00:28:29,229
[phone beeping]
662
00:28:29,937 --> 00:28:30,937
I have a message.
663
00:28:34,229 --> 00:28:35,937
[distorted voice] We have the Maharajah.
664
00:28:36,437 --> 00:28:39,271
If you contact the authorities, he dies.
665
00:28:39,271 --> 00:28:41,562
We'll make our demands
known to you at 7:00 a.m.
666
00:28:41,562 --> 00:28:42,604
[call disconnects]
667
00:28:42,604 --> 00:28:45,479
That voice is hysterical.
You got to admit it.
668
00:28:45,479 --> 00:28:47,646
So we should all stay here.
Correct, Colonel?
669
00:28:47,646 --> 00:28:51,187
Because one of us is definitely
working with the kidnapper.
670
00:28:51,187 --> 00:28:55,062
Yeah. Motives, opportunities.
671
00:28:55,062 --> 00:28:56,396
Somebody here.
672
00:28:56,396 --> 00:28:58,562
My head is spinning a little bit.
673
00:28:58,562 --> 00:28:59,979
Honey?
674
00:29:00,771 --> 00:29:04,604
Babe, are you taking a nap?
I'm tired, too, so let's, uh...
675
00:29:05,437 --> 00:29:07,812
Nobody leave here
until we figure out who did what.
676
00:29:07,812 --> 00:29:09,312
It's great to see everybody.
677
00:29:09,312 --> 00:29:11,771
- Thanks for coming over. Sorry, my bad.
- [Francisco] Whoa!
678
00:29:15,396 --> 00:29:17,312
[inhales deeply]
679
00:29:17,312 --> 00:29:20,229
[sighing] Hmm!
680
00:29:24,521 --> 00:29:26,854
[Audrey groaning]
681
00:29:27,396 --> 00:29:29,562
[yelps] Jesus! What?
682
00:29:31,271 --> 00:29:32,562
Oh my God. Nick?
683
00:29:32,562 --> 00:29:34,021
- [Nick] Yeah.
- Nick?
684
00:29:34,021 --> 00:29:35,021
[Nick] Yeah?
685
00:29:35,021 --> 00:29:36,812
- [Audrey] Nick!
- Uh-huh.
686
00:29:36,812 --> 00:29:39,562
Nicky, honey.
Get up. Get up! We got roofied.
687
00:29:39,562 --> 00:29:42,479
- What happened?
- [Audrey] Baby. Oh my God! We fell asleep!
688
00:29:42,479 --> 00:29:43,771
- [Nick] Oh yeah?
- Honey!
689
00:29:43,771 --> 00:29:44,854
[Nick] We're sleeping now.
690
00:29:44,854 --> 00:29:47,396
I don't know what happened. Uh, I...
691
00:29:47,396 --> 00:29:49,646
- Come on! Get up, Nick!
- [Nick] Okay. Up. I'm up.
692
00:29:49,646 --> 00:29:50,729
[Audrey] Who did this?
693
00:29:50,729 --> 00:29:52,979
[Nick] What? Now they're just showing off.
694
00:29:53,479 --> 00:29:56,396
- [Audrey] Hurry up!
- [Nick] Okay, I'm coming, honey. So...
695
00:29:56,396 --> 00:29:58,146
- [Audrey] Get up!
- [Nick] I'm up!
696
00:29:58,896 --> 00:30:02,021
- Calm down before you say anything.
- Nobody drugs us and gets away with it!
697
00:30:02,021 --> 00:30:03,687
- Maybe they didn't drug us.
- It's illegal!
698
00:30:03,687 --> 00:30:04,979
Maybe we just ate too much.
699
00:30:04,979 --> 00:30:08,104
- That's why we passed out.
- Nick. Audrey. Just in time.
700
00:30:08,687 --> 00:30:09,937
- For what?
- For what?
701
00:30:09,937 --> 00:30:12,021
The real detectives have just arrived.
702
00:30:12,021 --> 00:30:14,187
[intense music playing]
703
00:30:18,146 --> 00:30:19,312
[Colonel] Connor Miller.
704
00:30:19,312 --> 00:30:22,646
- [Audrey gasps]
- Former MI6 hostage negotiator.
705
00:30:22,646 --> 00:30:25,771
Oh my God.
Specializes in high-profile cases.
706
00:30:25,771 --> 00:30:28,271
He got the President of Uruguay's son
back from the cartel.
707
00:30:28,271 --> 00:30:30,229
- He wrote the book. He wrote the book.
- On what?
708
00:30:30,229 --> 00:30:32,437
How Rogaine doesn't work for everybody?
709
00:30:32,437 --> 00:30:34,437
The book! Our course detective book!
710
00:30:36,437 --> 00:30:38,937
[Miller] Greetings.
I hear you need a case solved.
711
00:30:40,229 --> 00:30:42,354
Colonel. Been a long time.
712
00:30:42,937 --> 00:30:44,354
Francisco Perez.
713
00:30:44,354 --> 00:30:45,604
Huh?
714
00:30:45,604 --> 00:30:46,771
Big fan.
715
00:30:46,771 --> 00:30:47,937
- Oh.
- Hey.
716
00:30:47,937 --> 00:30:51,312
Mr. Miller, we're also very big fans.
Um, we can bring you up to speed.
717
00:30:51,312 --> 00:30:54,687
So what we know already is that
this is at least a two-person job.
718
00:30:54,687 --> 00:30:58,396
I saw the first guy
escape with Vik on a boat,
719
00:30:58,396 --> 00:31:00,396
leaving the second guy
still on the island.
720
00:31:00,396 --> 00:31:03,187
Also, just so you know,
we were both drugged last night.
721
00:31:03,187 --> 00:31:05,687
I don't know if we were drugged.
We did have a few drinks--
722
00:31:05,687 --> 00:31:07,271
- You must be the Spitzes.
- Yes.
723
00:31:07,271 --> 00:31:08,854
Yes, we are!
724
00:31:08,854 --> 00:31:10,687
Your reputations precede you.
725
00:31:10,687 --> 00:31:11,979
- There you go.
- Why, thank you.
726
00:31:11,979 --> 00:31:14,896
- That's nice to hear.
- Uh, not in a positive way, I'm afraid.
727
00:31:14,896 --> 00:31:16,021
Okay.
728
00:31:16,021 --> 00:31:19,146
I understand the last time
you were involved in something like this,
729
00:31:19,146 --> 00:31:20,354
everybody died?
730
00:31:20,354 --> 00:31:22,646
Well, that was not the Maharajah.
731
00:31:22,646 --> 00:31:24,146
How's he doing now?
732
00:31:24,146 --> 00:31:25,396
- [laughs] Okay.
- Right.
733
00:31:25,396 --> 00:31:28,062
The Colonel's still here,
most of him, so there. That's good.
734
00:31:28,062 --> 00:31:30,729
Um, listen.
Mr. Miller, I read your book, and--
735
00:31:30,729 --> 00:31:33,021
[Miller] Colonel, I wanna see
all the security footage.
736
00:31:33,021 --> 00:31:35,229
All the footage
was wiped from the mainframe.
737
00:31:35,229 --> 00:31:36,812
Yeah, 'cause it's an inside job.
738
00:31:36,812 --> 00:31:37,854
Mademoiselle Joubert,
739
00:31:37,854 --> 00:31:40,354
we'll need your phone
for a vocal analysis of the voice mail.
740
00:31:40,354 --> 00:31:41,562
Of course. Anything you need.
741
00:31:41,562 --> 00:31:45,146
They're professional, no doubt.
They were concise and brief on the phone.
742
00:31:45,146 --> 00:31:46,396
We also have reason to believe
743
00:31:46,396 --> 00:31:49,271
that the inside man
was posing as an elephant handler.
744
00:31:50,479 --> 00:31:52,729
You really wanna do
suspects now, Mrs. Spitz?
745
00:31:52,729 --> 00:31:54,021
- Sure.
- [Miller] Fine.
746
00:31:54,021 --> 00:31:55,937
How about this? Uh...
747
00:31:55,937 --> 00:31:58,729
A husband and wife,
one an NYPD almost-detective,
748
00:31:58,729 --> 00:32:01,396
the other a hairdresser
taking online classes.
749
00:32:01,396 --> 00:32:03,896
Together they run
a private detective agency
750
00:32:03,896 --> 00:32:05,646
teetering on the edge of bankruptcy.
751
00:32:05,646 --> 00:32:07,104
And if I were to hazard a guess,
752
00:32:07,104 --> 00:32:09,396
I'd say it's probably
taking a toll on their marriage.
753
00:32:09,979 --> 00:32:12,271
Desperate to give validity
to their failing business,
754
00:32:12,271 --> 00:32:16,146
they accept a last-minute invite
from a billionaire to attend his wedding.
755
00:32:16,146 --> 00:32:17,646
And so a plan is born.
756
00:32:17,646 --> 00:32:21,146
Twenty-four hours after their arrival,
there's a high-profile kidnapping,
757
00:32:21,146 --> 00:32:22,729
the sort that gets attention.
758
00:32:22,729 --> 00:32:24,229
A career maker.
759
00:32:25,021 --> 00:32:28,604
How's my reasoning, fellow... detectives?
760
00:32:28,604 --> 00:32:30,854
- Pretty excellent. None of it was true.
- Gorgeous.
761
00:32:30,854 --> 00:32:33,437
I was starting to go with it
'cause of the way you phrase things.
762
00:32:33,437 --> 00:32:35,187
- I almost believed him.
- The accent helps.
763
00:32:35,771 --> 00:32:38,479
Call trace is ready. Kidnappers should be
calling in any minute.
764
00:32:38,479 --> 00:32:40,229
If you'll excuse me, I have a job to do.
765
00:32:40,229 --> 00:32:41,854
- Okay, so listen.
- [Audrey] Yes, honey.
766
00:32:41,854 --> 00:32:45,187
We got good cheese. We got free iPhones.
I'm happy with everything.
767
00:32:45,187 --> 00:32:48,354
Where are you going? Did you hear
what that guy just said about us?
768
00:32:48,354 --> 00:32:50,062
- [Nick] Yeah.
- None of that's true!
769
00:32:50,062 --> 00:32:53,271
We need to show those people
what Nick and Audrey Spitz are all about.
770
00:32:53,271 --> 00:32:55,354
The guy's good! I don't think he needs us.
771
00:32:55,354 --> 00:32:56,854
- Nick. Audrey.
- [both] What?
772
00:32:56,854 --> 00:32:59,812
The kidnapper says
he'll only talk to the man he shot at.
773
00:32:59,812 --> 00:33:01,687
They need us. All right. They need us.
774
00:33:01,687 --> 00:33:02,687
- Let's go!
- Let's go!
775
00:33:02,687 --> 00:33:04,062
[dramatic music playing]
776
00:33:05,271 --> 00:33:07,146
- [machines beeping]
- [Colonel] They're here.
777
00:33:09,146 --> 00:33:11,062
- [Miller] He's calling back in a minute.
- Okay.
778
00:33:11,062 --> 00:33:13,229
You need to keep him calm,
keep him talking.
779
00:33:13,229 --> 00:33:14,854
- We need at least--
- Forty-five seconds.
780
00:33:14,854 --> 00:33:18,187
- I know. It's not my first rodeo, pal.
- You've done hostage negotiation?
781
00:33:18,187 --> 00:33:21,312
I'm married to this lady.
Everything's a negotiation. I got it.
782
00:33:21,312 --> 00:33:22,312
Appreciate it.
783
00:33:22,312 --> 00:33:23,354
[cell phone ringing]
784
00:33:23,354 --> 00:33:25,521
[tense music playing]
785
00:33:28,354 --> 00:33:29,271
[Nick sighs]
786
00:33:29,271 --> 00:33:32,729
So 45 seconds, and it starts... now.
787
00:33:33,479 --> 00:33:35,729
Hi. Kidnapper, how are you?
788
00:33:35,729 --> 00:33:38,729
[kidnapper] Is this the man
who tried to stop me on my escape?
789
00:33:38,729 --> 00:33:40,937
Yes, yes, yes, the man you shot at.
790
00:33:40,937 --> 00:33:43,646
Luckily, I got out of the way. [chuckles]
791
00:33:43,646 --> 00:33:46,104
Tell me what we can do
to get Vik back safely.
792
00:33:46,104 --> 00:33:47,729
That's all we really care about.
793
00:33:47,729 --> 00:33:51,229
[kidnapper] For the return
of the Maharajah, we require $50 million.
794
00:33:51,229 --> 00:33:52,146
[splutters]
795
00:33:52,146 --> 00:33:54,021
Fifty putos millones?
796
00:33:54,021 --> 00:33:55,229
- Sh!
- [line clicks]
797
00:33:55,229 --> 00:33:56,854
[alarm beeps]
798
00:33:56,854 --> 00:34:00,104
Francisco, you think this is
The Price Is Right, screaming out numbers?
799
00:34:00,104 --> 00:34:01,979
Way too much money for just one guy.
800
00:34:01,979 --> 00:34:04,062
Great. Just lost the trace. Thanks.
801
00:34:04,062 --> 00:34:07,146
- It's my fault? This guy's yelling shit--
- Why are you yelling at me?
802
00:34:07,146 --> 00:34:09,146
- You were directing at me--
- I yelled at that guy!
803
00:34:09,146 --> 00:34:12,146
The guy's hammered right now,
and I'm catching shit for it!
804
00:34:12,146 --> 00:34:14,396
There's the
"taking-a-toll-on-the-marriage" thing.
805
00:34:14,396 --> 00:34:16,312
Excuse me! At least we are married.
806
00:34:16,312 --> 00:34:19,437
Yeah. Calm down. This is how
we communicate. We're from New York.
807
00:34:19,437 --> 00:34:20,979
Can we remain calm?
808
00:34:20,979 --> 00:34:22,604
- I'm sorry. Of course.
- We're calm.
809
00:34:22,604 --> 00:34:23,979
He wants the money. He's gonna call back.
810
00:34:23,979 --> 00:34:25,187
- [Audrey] Relax.
- [Nick] Yup.
811
00:34:25,187 --> 00:34:27,021
- [phone ringing]
- [Nick] Here we go. Okay.
812
00:34:27,021 --> 00:34:28,437
- [Miller] Here we go.
- Got this!
813
00:34:28,437 --> 00:34:31,062
Forty-five seconds starts again now.
814
00:34:31,062 --> 00:34:33,729
Sorry about that, man.
A lot of anxious people here.
815
00:34:33,729 --> 00:34:35,854
One drunk guy. We all got that friend.
816
00:34:35,854 --> 00:34:37,729
[kidnapper] The price just went up to 60.
817
00:34:37,729 --> 00:34:39,187
[groaning]
818
00:34:39,187 --> 00:34:41,021
They say, "Great. No problem."
819
00:34:41,021 --> 00:34:44,354
[kidnapper] You will bring $60 million
in untraceable bearer bonds
820
00:34:44,354 --> 00:34:47,562
to the Arc de Triomphe in Paris
at 8:00 p.m. tomorrow night
821
00:34:47,562 --> 00:34:50,271
and wait with this phone
for further instructions.
822
00:34:50,271 --> 00:34:52,771
Hello, excuse me.
I'm so sorry to interrupt.
823
00:34:52,771 --> 00:34:58,562
But we are going to need unequivocal
evidence that the hostage is still alive.
824
00:34:58,562 --> 00:35:01,479
[kidnapper] You will receive proof of life
before the exchange.
825
00:35:01,479 --> 00:35:03,062
- Cool.
- Thank you very much.
826
00:35:03,062 --> 00:35:06,729
[kidnapper] Arc de Triomphe, 8:00 p.m.,
or the Maharajah dies.
827
00:35:07,312 --> 00:35:10,896
The voice jumbling thing you got on your...
It's hard to understand you.
828
00:35:10,896 --> 00:35:13,479
- The location, yes.
- Can you do that again? Where is it?
829
00:35:13,479 --> 00:35:16,437
- [kidnapper] Arc de Triomphe.
- [Nick] This is what you sound like...
830
00:35:16,437 --> 00:35:18,229
[Nick imitating distorted voice]
831
00:35:18,229 --> 00:35:20,687
- [Nick] That's what we hear.
- [kidnapper] Arc de Triomphe!
832
00:35:20,687 --> 00:35:22,646
Okay, so Arctic Tree Hump.
833
00:35:23,354 --> 00:35:24,812
Got it. You said that, right?
834
00:35:24,812 --> 00:35:26,896
[kidnapper]
The price just went up to 70 now!
835
00:35:26,896 --> 00:35:27,812
[sobbing]
836
00:35:27,812 --> 00:35:31,229
[kidnapper] Seventy million,
or the Maharajah dies a painful death.
837
00:35:31,229 --> 00:35:32,854
Muhammad Ali dies, you say?
838
00:35:32,854 --> 00:35:34,521
- [kidnapper] Oh my God!
- [disconnects]
839
00:35:34,521 --> 00:35:39,229
You just cost us
20 extra million, you doofus!
840
00:35:39,229 --> 00:35:41,104
I don't want these buffoons involved.
841
00:35:41,104 --> 00:35:43,604
I'm afraid the kidnapper does,
so we're stuck with them.
842
00:35:43,604 --> 00:35:45,604
They did it. Got the trace.
843
00:35:45,604 --> 00:35:47,062
- We did?
- Aha!
844
00:35:47,062 --> 00:35:49,187
- See? Team Buffoon wins again!
- Thank you!
845
00:35:49,187 --> 00:35:52,146
You can go back in the ocean now, Miller.
We got this.
846
00:35:52,146 --> 00:35:55,646
We're going to Paris. Everybody pack.
Be ready to leave in one hour.
847
00:35:55,646 --> 00:35:59,021
♪ Paris, Paris, Paris
Paris, Paris, Paris... ♪
848
00:35:59,021 --> 00:36:01,146
["Mermaids Club"
by The Brave Mermaids playing]
849
00:36:01,854 --> 00:36:02,687
Wow!
850
00:36:05,229 --> 00:36:07,979
[Nick] Let's go and do some sightseeing
after the ransom paying.
851
00:36:07,979 --> 00:36:09,437
- Can we do that?
- [Nick] Of course!
852
00:36:09,437 --> 00:36:11,979
Can we just...
You know what? After we get Vik back,
853
00:36:11,979 --> 00:36:14,854
we could go
and renew our vows at Love Locks Bridge.
854
00:36:16,396 --> 00:36:17,354
It's a date.
855
00:36:17,896 --> 00:36:19,479
I'm gonna need your phones.
856
00:36:19,479 --> 00:36:20,812
- Need our phones?
- Why?
857
00:36:20,812 --> 00:36:23,229
- [Miller] They're compromised.
- Oh, okay.
858
00:36:23,229 --> 00:36:26,437
We'll get 'em back, right?
These are brand-new. We got 'em for free.
859
00:36:26,437 --> 00:36:28,479
In the gift bags. They gave 'em to us--
860
00:36:28,479 --> 00:36:29,437
[booming]
861
00:36:30,021 --> 00:36:32,354
- Can't believe that happened.
- We're not getting them back.
862
00:36:32,354 --> 00:36:34,521
I had a dick pic on mine, but that's gone.
863
00:36:34,521 --> 00:36:36,354
[Miller] Let's not obsess about phones.
864
00:36:36,354 --> 00:36:39,521
The only important phone is
the one the kidnapper will call on. Here.
865
00:36:39,521 --> 00:36:43,229
I set it up so we can hear everything.
I'm gonna need one of you to be armed.
866
00:36:43,229 --> 00:36:45,604
- Mr. Spitz, can you handle a gun?
- [Nick] Yes.
867
00:36:45,604 --> 00:36:47,562
- I told you, I was on the force. What?
- Um...
868
00:36:47,562 --> 00:36:49,729
[hesitates]
I just think maybe I should handle it.
869
00:36:49,729 --> 00:36:51,187
- You should handle it?
- Just--
870
00:36:51,187 --> 00:36:52,521
- Why would that--
- Your aim is--
871
00:36:52,521 --> 00:36:53,979
My aim? My aim is fine.
872
00:36:53,979 --> 00:36:55,979
- Why are you saying this?
- He can't hear--
873
00:36:55,979 --> 00:36:58,896
That's like me saying you wear Spanx
in front of a supermodel.
874
00:36:58,896 --> 00:37:02,396
So, uh, I'll take the gun
'cause I'm very good with a gun.
875
00:37:02,396 --> 00:37:05,562
They used to call me "Nicky Guns"
on the force. That was my nickname.
876
00:37:05,562 --> 00:37:09,687
Gang members used to ask me for advice
on the weekends 'cause I shot so well.
877
00:37:09,687 --> 00:37:11,604
I'd say, "I can't.
I don't wanna help you guys."
878
00:37:11,604 --> 00:37:12,687
You take the gun.
879
00:37:12,687 --> 00:37:15,354
I'll take the gun.
I got the phone, and you got the money.
880
00:37:15,354 --> 00:37:18,479
When they call, I want you to follow
the three rules of ransom drops
881
00:37:18,479 --> 00:37:19,854
from Chapter 12 of my book.
882
00:37:19,854 --> 00:37:21,729
Can you do that? Remember what they are?
883
00:37:21,729 --> 00:37:25,687
Number one.
Um, follow all reasonable instructions.
884
00:37:25,687 --> 00:37:26,979
- Yes.
- [Audrey] Number two.
885
00:37:26,979 --> 00:37:31,062
Do not hand off the ransom
until you see the kidnappee.
886
00:37:31,062 --> 00:37:31,979
[Miller] Exactly.
887
00:37:31,979 --> 00:37:36,104
And number three. Do not go
to a secondary location with them.
888
00:37:36,687 --> 00:37:38,354
Perfect. You'll be fine.
889
00:37:38,354 --> 00:37:39,646
Off you go.
890
00:37:39,646 --> 00:37:41,771
- Okay.
- "Nicky Guns" style. Let's go!
891
00:37:41,771 --> 00:37:43,854
[tense music playing]
892
00:37:49,437 --> 00:37:51,521
- Cool.
- I'm gonna hand you this.
893
00:37:52,021 --> 00:37:54,687
You gotta tell me
who on earth ever called you "Nicky Guns."
894
00:37:54,687 --> 00:37:57,979
You gotta tell me who didn't call me that.
Everybody called me that.
895
00:37:57,979 --> 00:37:59,729
This is the heaviest goddamn
896
00:37:59,729 --> 00:38:01,146
case of money I've ever felt.
897
00:38:01,146 --> 00:38:03,187
Why couldn't they Venmo?
This thing weighs...
898
00:38:03,187 --> 00:38:04,646
My hands are killing me.
899
00:38:04,646 --> 00:38:06,729
I'm gonna go two hands.
Does that look weird?
900
00:38:06,729 --> 00:38:09,479
- [Audrey] Your hands are cute.
- [Nick] "Cute"? What does that mean?
901
00:38:09,479 --> 00:38:11,937
- You have cute hands.
- Your family has orangutan ha--
902
00:38:11,937 --> 00:38:14,021
You grew up thinking
giant hands are normal.
903
00:38:14,021 --> 00:38:15,479
[Audrey] I never said dainty hands.
904
00:38:15,479 --> 00:38:18,062
I said it's weird to high-five you
'cause your hands are little.
905
00:38:18,062 --> 00:38:19,687
[Nick] They're average hands.
906
00:38:19,687 --> 00:38:22,062
- Your grandmother can palm a bulldog.
- [Audrey] Oh, please.
907
00:38:22,062 --> 00:38:22,979
[phone ringing]
908
00:38:22,979 --> 00:38:24,854
Shit, shit, shit. That's the phone.
909
00:38:24,854 --> 00:38:26,062
Okay, here we go.
910
00:38:26,062 --> 00:38:27,604
Initiate the trace.
911
00:38:27,604 --> 00:38:33,187
Hi. Bonjour, uh, madame or
mademoiselle or monsieur. Go ahead.
912
00:38:33,187 --> 00:38:34,271
[Vik] Nick, it's me!
913
00:38:34,271 --> 00:38:35,354
[screams]
914
00:38:35,354 --> 00:38:36,521
[Nick] Rajah! You okay?
915
00:38:36,521 --> 00:38:39,979
So we got the money, and we just
need to know where to bring it.
916
00:38:39,979 --> 00:38:42,104
So tell us,
and we'll get you out of there.
917
00:38:42,104 --> 00:38:43,812
- [Vik yelps]
- What happened?
918
00:38:43,812 --> 00:38:47,437
[kidnapper] You have your proof of life.
Now take the money to the van at the curb.
919
00:38:47,437 --> 00:38:48,437
Okay.
920
00:38:48,437 --> 00:38:50,812
- Wh-- Wh-- What van?
- Van?
921
00:38:50,812 --> 00:38:52,979
What van are we talking about?
That van there?
922
00:38:52,979 --> 00:38:55,937
[kidnapper] Don't point, you idiot!
Just casually walk in that direction.
923
00:38:55,937 --> 00:38:57,229
Okay. Okay. I'm coming.
924
00:38:57,229 --> 00:38:59,812
[kidnapper] Anything out of the ordinary,
and the Maharajah dies.
925
00:38:59,812 --> 00:39:01,604
Don't do that. Okay, we're coming.
926
00:39:02,271 --> 00:39:03,646
We gotta go to the van.
927
00:39:03,646 --> 00:39:05,354
- That van?
- No! Don't point.
928
00:39:05,354 --> 00:39:06,896
He doesn't like pointing. That van.
929
00:39:09,104 --> 00:39:09,937
Oh shit.
930
00:39:09,937 --> 00:39:11,437
Get in the van.
931
00:39:11,437 --> 00:39:14,312
We'll give you the money
in exchange for the Maharajah.
932
00:39:14,312 --> 00:39:15,312
He's not far.
933
00:39:15,312 --> 00:39:17,187
Get in the van.
934
00:39:17,187 --> 00:39:19,646
- Don't get in the van!
- [Claudette speaking French]
935
00:39:19,646 --> 00:39:22,479
- That wasn't part of the deal.
- Number three. Don't get in the van.
936
00:39:22,479 --> 00:39:25,354
Get in the van,
or I'll shoot you both in the stomach,
937
00:39:25,354 --> 00:39:28,104
take you to the countryside,
and feed you to the swine.
938
00:39:28,104 --> 00:39:30,479
- Okay. Let's get in the van.
- Okay, okay, okay.
939
00:39:30,479 --> 00:39:32,146
Okay, sorry. Yes, yes, yes, yes.
940
00:39:36,979 --> 00:39:38,604
Stupid Americans.
941
00:39:39,396 --> 00:39:40,271
[scoffs]
942
00:39:46,396 --> 00:39:48,104
- Give us the money!
- Give you the money.
943
00:39:48,104 --> 00:39:50,521
- All right. You got it.
- Just give him the money!
944
00:39:50,521 --> 00:39:52,396
- One second.
- I do have these too.
945
00:39:52,396 --> 00:39:53,729
What the fuck?
946
00:39:53,729 --> 00:39:56,521
I brought these for us
in case we wanted to celebrate after,
947
00:39:56,521 --> 00:39:58,187
but I'm gonna change the plans.
948
00:39:58,187 --> 00:40:02,187
So what I'll do is put this on here,
and I'll put this on here.
949
00:40:02,896 --> 00:40:05,146
This goes wherever we go now.
950
00:40:05,146 --> 00:40:07,396
You understand? I don't know where the--
951
00:40:07,396 --> 00:40:08,812
- No!
952
00:40:08,812 --> 00:40:10,187
- What happened?
- Hello?
953
00:40:10,187 --> 00:40:11,312
We're offline?
954
00:40:11,312 --> 00:40:12,562
Stand by.
955
00:40:12,562 --> 00:40:15,979
Take us to the Maharajah now.
What do you think of that?
956
00:40:15,979 --> 00:40:17,271
Chop off his hand.
957
00:40:17,271 --> 00:40:18,396
- Chop off my hand?
- What?
958
00:40:18,396 --> 00:40:20,062
- [kidnapper] Yes!
- No! Hatchet!
959
00:40:20,062 --> 00:40:21,896
- Find the key.
- I do know where the key is.
960
00:40:21,896 --> 00:40:23,562
- Look in here.
- No, no, no. Shoot.
961
00:40:23,562 --> 00:40:25,771
- Shoot, I can't find it.
- Check your other pockets!
962
00:40:25,771 --> 00:40:30,271
Son of a gun! I can't seem
to pull the trigger on finding the key.
963
00:40:30,271 --> 00:40:33,437
- [Audrey] What are you talking about?
- Your gun! Shoot this asshole!
964
00:40:34,021 --> 00:40:35,812
- [grunts]
- [screams]
965
00:40:39,729 --> 00:40:40,854
Oh my God!
966
00:40:44,646 --> 00:40:45,771
[yells, pants]
967
00:40:45,771 --> 00:40:47,396
[yells]
968
00:40:48,687 --> 00:40:49,646
[groans]
969
00:40:49,646 --> 00:40:50,937
[Audrey] Oh my God!
970
00:40:50,937 --> 00:40:52,729
Oh my God, I'm so sorry!
971
00:40:52,729 --> 00:40:55,312
Don't apologize, honey.
You killed the kidnapper!
972
00:40:55,312 --> 00:40:56,479
[all yelling]
973
00:40:56,479 --> 00:40:57,437
Oh my God!
974
00:40:59,687 --> 00:41:01,021
Shoot this guy!
975
00:41:01,021 --> 00:41:03,437
Can I shoot him in the leg?
I don't wanna kill anybody else!
976
00:41:03,437 --> 00:41:06,104
What is the difference?
You're already a murderer!
977
00:41:06,104 --> 00:41:08,104
I don't wanna be a mass murderer!
978
00:41:08,104 --> 00:41:09,562
[both grunting]
979
00:41:11,687 --> 00:41:13,646
- [Nick] Grab the hatchet!
- [Audrey] Okay!
980
00:41:15,771 --> 00:41:16,937
[brakes squeal]
981
00:41:16,937 --> 00:41:18,896
[crowd gasps and exclaims]
982
00:41:18,896 --> 00:41:19,979
[gasps]
983
00:41:19,979 --> 00:41:20,896
What?
984
00:41:20,896 --> 00:41:22,187
[horn honks]
985
00:41:22,187 --> 00:41:23,854
Oh my God!
986
00:41:23,854 --> 00:41:26,271
Sweetheart,
you're not just a mass murderer.
987
00:41:26,271 --> 00:41:27,812
You're an axe murderer!
988
00:41:27,812 --> 00:41:28,896
[yells]
989
00:41:28,896 --> 00:41:30,937
[Audrey] Honey, he's moving. Oh my God.
990
00:41:30,937 --> 00:41:33,062
I think he might be... He might be okay.
991
00:41:33,062 --> 00:41:36,396
[groans] Those are death twitches, honey!
992
00:41:36,396 --> 00:41:37,687
[grunts]
993
00:41:40,604 --> 00:41:42,104
[Audrey] Jesus!
994
00:41:43,146 --> 00:41:44,187
[horns blare]
995
00:41:44,187 --> 00:41:45,521
[Audrey] His foot's on the gas!
996
00:41:47,479 --> 00:41:49,687
- Grab the wheel!
- Oh God!
997
00:41:51,771 --> 00:41:54,646
["Le coeur au bout des doigts"
by Jacqueline Taïeb playing]
998
00:41:57,312 --> 00:42:00,062
Oh shit! It's so gross!
I touched... I touched it!
999
00:42:00,854 --> 00:42:01,812
[car horn blares]
1000
00:42:02,479 --> 00:42:05,562
[Nick] Oh yeah! Who's gonna feed who
to the swine now, huh?
1001
00:42:06,146 --> 00:42:08,146
That's the dead guy, Nick!
1002
00:42:08,146 --> 00:42:09,104
Oh yeah.
1003
00:42:09,104 --> 00:42:11,312
[men grunting]
1004
00:42:15,521 --> 00:42:16,396
[Audrey] People, move!
1005
00:42:17,396 --> 00:42:18,437
[horn tooting]
1006
00:42:21,562 --> 00:42:22,604
Oh shit!
1007
00:42:22,604 --> 00:42:24,937
[Nick]
Are you literally hitting everything?
1008
00:42:33,354 --> 00:42:34,687
[Audrey yells]
1009
00:42:35,687 --> 00:42:37,521
[grunting]
1010
00:42:37,521 --> 00:42:40,021
- [Nick] Door's open!
- Oh my God! What did you do?
1011
00:42:44,271 --> 00:42:45,812
[Nick yelling]
1012
00:42:45,812 --> 00:42:47,104
Oh God! Honey!
1013
00:42:51,646 --> 00:42:53,604
Whoa! Oh!
1014
00:42:54,562 --> 00:42:56,229
Oh my God!
1015
00:42:59,646 --> 00:43:00,771
Argh!
1016
00:43:01,604 --> 00:43:02,604
Honey, pole!
1017
00:43:02,604 --> 00:43:04,771
- What?
- There's a pole!
1018
00:43:05,646 --> 00:43:06,604
I can't hear you!
1019
00:43:08,229 --> 00:43:09,187
Oh my God.
1020
00:43:09,187 --> 00:43:10,104
Never mind.
1021
00:43:10,729 --> 00:43:11,729
[Nick yells]
1022
00:43:12,562 --> 00:43:14,562
[dramatic music playing]
1023
00:43:15,896 --> 00:43:17,521
[panting] Okay, baby.
1024
00:43:19,312 --> 00:43:20,854
[both yelling]
1025
00:43:22,854 --> 00:43:24,646
[diners scream and gasp]
1026
00:43:29,896 --> 00:43:31,854
[both panting]
1027
00:43:31,854 --> 00:43:34,271
- Bonjour.
- Bonjour. Are you all okay?
1028
00:43:34,271 --> 00:43:37,104
- [Nick] Sorry. Let me get down.
- [Audrey] Careful. Oh my goodness!
1029
00:43:37,104 --> 00:43:39,062
- Ow! Jesus!
- [Nick] Everybody okay there?
1030
00:43:39,062 --> 00:43:41,146
- Oh my God.
- Hi. Hi. How was lunch?
1031
00:43:41,146 --> 00:43:43,187
[TV playing in background]
1032
00:43:43,979 --> 00:43:44,937
- What?
- What?
1033
00:43:44,937 --> 00:43:46,896
[in French] Nick and Audrey Spitz...
1034
00:43:46,896 --> 00:43:48,479
- What?
- What?
1035
00:43:49,146 --> 00:43:50,312
[Nick] Oh no.
1036
00:43:50,312 --> 00:43:52,104
{\an8}[newsreader continues in French]
1037
00:43:52,104 --> 00:43:54,021
{\an8}- [Audrey] Wait. What? No!
- [Nick] What the--
1038
00:43:54,021 --> 00:43:56,312
I didn't take a cheese knife.
I took the cheese!
1039
00:43:56,312 --> 00:43:58,396
Why did you grab it?
Why did you have cheese?
1040
00:43:58,396 --> 00:44:00,812
I had cheese
because I had the hookah munchies,
1041
00:44:00,812 --> 00:44:02,271
and it was good cheese.
1042
00:44:02,271 --> 00:44:04,604
That knife never left the room, Nick.
1043
00:44:04,604 --> 00:44:08,146
But it did leave the room. Maybe they
stole the knife so they could deepfake us.
1044
00:44:08,146 --> 00:44:10,937
- Our fingerprints are all over it!
- C'est caca!
1045
00:44:10,937 --> 00:44:13,437
- We did not do this.
- [French accent] Television say bullshit!
1046
00:44:13,437 --> 00:44:17,146
- We're not capable of doing anything...
- Nous sommes innocents!
1047
00:44:17,146 --> 00:44:18,437
- Innocents!
- ...like this.
1048
00:44:18,437 --> 00:44:20,854
Like, uh, opposite of O.J.!
1049
00:44:20,854 --> 00:44:22,562
[Audrey] We would never do this.
1050
00:44:22,562 --> 00:44:24,521
- I swear! I promise you!
- No.
1051
00:44:24,521 --> 00:44:26,229
[all gasp]
1052
00:44:29,604 --> 00:44:31,437
[tires screeching]
1053
00:44:31,437 --> 00:44:32,521
[people clamoring]
1054
00:44:37,937 --> 00:44:38,771
- [Audrey sighs]
- Hey!
1055
00:44:38,771 --> 00:44:39,687
Oh God!
1056
00:44:40,271 --> 00:44:42,312
I told you not to get in the van.
1057
00:44:42,312 --> 00:44:43,604
- We--
- The guy had a gun!
1058
00:44:43,604 --> 00:44:45,646
- What do you mean? You had a gun!
- [Nick] Yeah--
1059
00:44:45,646 --> 00:44:47,812
- I used the gun!
- She used it good!
1060
00:44:47,812 --> 00:44:50,354
Do you see
what they're doing to us on the TV?
1061
00:44:50,354 --> 00:44:52,312
- That's been digitally altered.
- [Nick] Yes!
1062
00:44:52,312 --> 00:44:55,771
- I knew you'd see through that.
- Thank you for noticing. That's a pro.
1063
00:44:55,771 --> 00:44:57,271
Is the case intact?
1064
00:44:58,229 --> 00:44:59,729
[all yelling]
1065
00:45:02,146 --> 00:45:03,729
[laughing] Well!
1066
00:45:03,729 --> 00:45:04,729
We did that!
1067
00:45:04,729 --> 00:45:07,312
- That was nice!
- How did they find us so fast?
1068
00:45:07,312 --> 00:45:08,896
They've got 70 million reasons.
1069
00:45:08,896 --> 00:45:11,312
- Ah!
- Give me the case. Do you have the key?
1070
00:45:11,312 --> 00:45:13,729
The key? For what?
These are sex handcuffs.
1071
00:45:13,729 --> 00:45:15,729
Look. All I gotta do is this.
1072
00:45:17,104 --> 00:45:17,937
[Nick chuckles]
1073
00:45:18,687 --> 00:45:21,021
Okay. When they see me with this,
they'll follow me.
1074
00:45:21,021 --> 00:45:22,646
- [Nick] Right.
- Nothing I can't handle.
1075
00:45:22,646 --> 00:45:23,604
I see that.
1076
00:45:23,604 --> 00:45:25,812
Meet at the Madeleine, 1900 hours.
1077
00:45:25,812 --> 00:45:27,604
No problem. Yeah, we'll be there.
1078
00:45:28,312 --> 00:45:29,979
I was harsh about your business before.
1079
00:45:29,979 --> 00:45:32,729
We may not be equals,
but we do share a passion.
1080
00:45:33,354 --> 00:45:34,396
I see that now.
1081
00:45:34,396 --> 00:45:35,521
Hurrah!
1082
00:45:35,521 --> 00:45:37,646
Hey, I was wrong. That guy is a stud.
1083
00:45:37,646 --> 00:45:38,562
Honey...
1084
00:45:39,312 --> 00:45:40,979
What if Miller's the kidnapper?
1085
00:45:40,979 --> 00:45:43,521
[Nick] He said he's gonna meet us
at 1900 hours at the Madeleine.
1086
00:45:43,521 --> 00:45:45,687
I know, but bad people, they lie.
1087
00:45:45,687 --> 00:45:49,729
All right?
And we just handed the guy $70 million.
1088
00:45:49,729 --> 00:45:52,021
- Oh God. Maybe you're right.
- I'm just saying.
1089
00:45:52,021 --> 00:45:52,937
[engine turns over]
1090
00:45:55,896 --> 00:45:57,729
Nope, you were wrong.
1091
00:46:01,187 --> 00:46:03,687
- Who's this?
- I don't know. Where'd he come from?
1092
00:46:04,937 --> 00:46:07,687
- [Nick] He's gonna walk into the flames?
- He walked right into that.
1093
00:46:09,271 --> 00:46:10,437
He's got the case!
1094
00:46:10,979 --> 00:46:11,812
[man grunts]
1095
00:46:11,812 --> 00:46:13,812
- No! Oh my God!
- Now I'm very confused!
1096
00:46:13,812 --> 00:46:16,062
- [Audrey] Oh no. Who's that guy?
- [Nick] This guy?
1097
00:46:16,062 --> 00:46:16,979
Oh my God!
1098
00:46:18,312 --> 00:46:21,021
[Audrey whispering] N-E-4-1-3-D-A-N.
1099
00:46:21,021 --> 00:46:23,562
We're Europe's most wanted again.
We better run!
1100
00:46:23,562 --> 00:46:25,562
- I'm gonna grab... Okay.
- Grab that hat.
1101
00:46:26,271 --> 00:46:28,146
- What is... Um...
- [Nick] What is this?
1102
00:46:28,146 --> 00:46:31,437
{\an8}- [Delacroix speaking French]
- [Nick] It's Delacroix! That guy loves us.
1103
00:46:31,437 --> 00:46:33,479
{\an8}[continues in French]
1104
00:46:33,479 --> 00:46:36,187
- I understood "opera." Okay. Go, go, go!
- Okay. Okay.
1105
00:46:38,146 --> 00:46:40,771
[people clamoring on TV]
1106
00:46:40,771 --> 00:46:43,896
[both singing "Flower Duet" by Delibes]
1107
00:47:13,812 --> 00:47:15,271
- [gasps] How?
- [Audrey] Surprise!
1108
00:47:15,271 --> 00:47:16,312
Audrey and Nick!
1109
00:47:16,312 --> 00:47:19,604
- Smoke rings! How you doing?
- Hi! Did you get our Christmas card?
1110
00:47:19,604 --> 00:47:22,771
I'm fine, and yes.
The matching sweaters were a nice touch.
1111
00:47:22,771 --> 00:47:24,396
- [laughs softly]
- That was my idea.
1112
00:47:24,396 --> 00:47:26,937
So, hey, we need a little bit of help.
1113
00:47:26,937 --> 00:47:28,729
- We need a lot of help.
- [Nick] Yeah.
1114
00:47:29,312 --> 00:47:31,271
- You are under arrest.
- [Nick] No!
1115
00:47:32,146 --> 00:47:34,104
I can never tell
when you're being serious.
1116
00:47:34,104 --> 00:47:35,729
He looks serious. Are you serious?
1117
00:47:35,729 --> 00:47:37,729
For kidnapping the Maharajah,
1118
00:47:37,729 --> 00:47:39,229
murdering his bodyguard,
1119
00:47:39,229 --> 00:47:41,687
stealing $70 million,
1120
00:47:41,687 --> 00:47:43,937
destroying many city blocks,
1121
00:47:43,937 --> 00:47:46,062
and, I'm assuming,
sneaking into the opera.
1122
00:47:46,062 --> 00:47:48,937
- We didn't do all of that.
- We did number four and number six.
1123
00:47:48,937 --> 00:47:50,479
We're just... We're being framed.
1124
00:47:50,479 --> 00:47:52,396
[Nick] We got a hunch who really did it.
1125
00:47:52,396 --> 00:47:54,562
We need you to track
this license plate for us.
1126
00:47:54,562 --> 00:47:56,812
Nothing would give me greater pleasure,
1127
00:47:56,812 --> 00:48:00,979
but then I would have to immediately
report such help to my superiors,
1128
00:48:00,979 --> 00:48:03,312
or I would be guilty
of aiding and abetting.
1129
00:48:03,312 --> 00:48:05,312
How's this? We can tie you up,
1130
00:48:05,312 --> 00:48:08,479
and then you can say
we forced you into helping us.
1131
00:48:08,479 --> 00:48:09,729
[sighs]
1132
00:48:09,729 --> 00:48:11,354
Wait, wait. Who are you calling?
1133
00:48:11,354 --> 00:48:12,979
I'm not calling anyone.
1134
00:48:12,979 --> 00:48:16,146
I have an app
to track the vehicle with that plate.
1135
00:48:16,146 --> 00:48:17,771
They have an app for that?
1136
00:48:17,771 --> 00:48:19,062
- [Delacroix] Mm-hmm.
- Tsk!
1137
00:48:19,062 --> 00:48:21,562
God. You got Shazam on that after?
1138
00:48:21,562 --> 00:48:23,812
I just... I wanna know what song this is.
1139
00:48:24,729 --> 00:48:28,396
[Nick] So the app says
the truck is parked out by a château
1140
00:48:28,396 --> 00:48:30,104
that's 80 kilometers away?
1141
00:48:30,104 --> 00:48:31,937
[Delacroix] Mm-hmm. Excuse me.
1142
00:48:31,937 --> 00:48:33,271
Can you scratch my nose?
1143
00:48:34,271 --> 00:48:35,104
Oh.
1144
00:48:35,104 --> 00:48:36,604
Uh... Uh, softer.
1145
00:48:36,604 --> 00:48:39,271
Softer. Hmm. [moaning]
1146
00:48:41,396 --> 00:48:43,937
- Thank you.
- Also, do you have a car we can borrow?
1147
00:48:44,604 --> 00:48:46,479
- The keys are in my pants pocket.
- [Audrey] Okay.
1148
00:48:46,479 --> 00:48:49,979
You talking to Audrey on that one too?
I'll handle the pants pocket.
1149
00:48:49,979 --> 00:48:52,604
What can I say?
[chuckles] Shooters gotta shoot.
1150
00:48:52,604 --> 00:48:53,646
[Nick chuckles]
1151
00:48:53,646 --> 00:48:56,854
Okay, is this a potato or a key
'cause I'm... Okay, got it.
1152
00:48:56,854 --> 00:48:58,646
- [Audrey] We'll take care of it.
- Hey, hey.
1153
00:48:58,646 --> 00:49:00,437
Okay, no food in my car.
1154
00:49:02,062 --> 00:49:05,646
[Nick] Man, I bet Delacroix's
got a sick-ass vehicle.
1155
00:49:07,396 --> 00:49:08,979
[vehicle humming]
1156
00:49:08,979 --> 00:49:11,312
[Édith Piaf song playing over radio]
1157
00:49:11,312 --> 00:49:12,604
[Colonel speaking indistinctly]
1158
00:49:12,604 --> 00:49:13,771
[cell phone ringing]
1159
00:49:14,354 --> 00:49:15,354
[Colonel] Excuse me.
1160
00:49:17,687 --> 00:49:18,896
Bonsoir, Inspector.
1161
00:49:18,896 --> 00:49:20,812
- Bonsoir, Colonel!
- Enchanté!
1162
00:49:26,312 --> 00:49:27,771
The police are looking for you.
1163
00:49:27,771 --> 00:49:30,646
Yeah, no kidding.
Colonel, we did not do this.
1164
00:49:30,646 --> 00:49:31,729
[Colonel] I know that,
1165
00:49:31,729 --> 00:49:34,312
but they have your fingerprints
all over the murder weapon
1166
00:49:34,312 --> 00:49:36,687
and footage of you
running out of the tent with it.
1167
00:49:36,687 --> 00:49:39,937
- [Nick] Yeah.
- Typical Spitz vacation insanity.
1168
00:49:39,937 --> 00:49:42,104
Miller's dead, by the way,
and we lost the money.
1169
00:49:42,104 --> 00:49:43,687
It just looks like you took it.
1170
00:49:43,687 --> 00:49:46,771
It gets worse! The kidnappers just called.
They've given us
1171
00:49:46,771 --> 00:49:48,771
a midnight deadline
to come up with the money,
1172
00:49:48,771 --> 00:49:50,354
or they will kill the Maharajah.
1173
00:49:50,354 --> 00:49:52,854
Okay, Colonel,
will you just stall for us until then?
1174
00:49:52,854 --> 00:49:55,104
- [Nick] Merci beaucoup!
- [Audrey] Thank you, Colonel!
1175
00:50:02,354 --> 00:50:05,062
[car motor humming]
1176
00:50:08,687 --> 00:50:09,896
Oh my God!
1177
00:50:09,896 --> 00:50:13,062
Well, now you know why
the kidnapper needs $70 million.
1178
00:50:13,062 --> 00:50:14,437
For the heating bill.
1179
00:50:17,854 --> 00:50:19,146
- [inhales sharply]
- [Nick] Uh-huh.
1180
00:50:19,146 --> 00:50:20,437
Oh boy.
1181
00:50:20,437 --> 00:50:24,354
Okay, so that moat's, like, three meters?
1182
00:50:24,854 --> 00:50:26,062
I think I can clear that.
1183
00:50:26,062 --> 00:50:28,354
Nick, three meters is, like, ten feet.
1184
00:50:28,354 --> 00:50:30,937
I had the high school record
for the long jump.
1185
00:50:30,937 --> 00:50:33,979
And I'm not kidding.
I went further than that back in the day.
1186
00:50:33,979 --> 00:50:35,854
- Hmm. Did you?
- Yeah.
1187
00:50:35,854 --> 00:50:38,854
What'd they call you back then?
"Nicky Long Legs"?
1188
00:50:38,854 --> 00:50:39,771
You're mocking me?
1189
00:50:39,771 --> 00:50:41,937
[Audrey] You're not gonna make that jump.
1190
00:50:41,937 --> 00:50:44,437
It doesn't make me feel good
to prove you wrong, but I'm gonna.
1191
00:50:44,437 --> 00:50:45,937
- All right?
- [Audrey] Mm-hmm.
1192
00:50:49,104 --> 00:50:52,146
Okay, from that angle,
it does look further than three meters.
1193
00:50:52,146 --> 00:50:53,562
- Oh shoot.
- What do you think?
1194
00:50:53,562 --> 00:50:56,979
- Do you think maybe you could do it?
- Now you want me to make that jump?
1195
00:50:56,979 --> 00:50:58,062
[gun cocks]
1196
00:50:59,062 --> 00:51:00,146
Bonsoir.
1197
00:51:00,146 --> 00:51:01,479
[both] Countess?
1198
00:51:01,479 --> 00:51:02,896
Surprised?
1199
00:51:02,896 --> 00:51:03,896
[both] Yeah.
1200
00:51:03,896 --> 00:51:05,854
- Did you hear we just said...
- [both] "Countess?"
1201
00:51:07,687 --> 00:51:08,562
Oh God.
1202
00:51:10,146 --> 00:51:11,187
[Audrey groans]
1203
00:51:11,771 --> 00:51:13,021
Where's Vik?
1204
00:51:14,229 --> 00:51:15,771
I guess the kidnappers have him.
1205
00:51:15,771 --> 00:51:17,729
Kid... You're not the kidnappers?
1206
00:51:17,729 --> 00:51:18,812
No, no, no.
1207
00:51:19,396 --> 00:51:22,437
I would never do such a thing.
Vikram is my friend.
1208
00:51:22,437 --> 00:51:23,562
[scoffs] Your friend.
1209
00:51:24,062 --> 00:51:24,979
You loved him.
1210
00:51:26,187 --> 00:51:27,771
[coughing] Oh God!
1211
00:51:27,771 --> 00:51:29,562
- I love money.
- Hmm, hmm, hmm.
1212
00:51:29,562 --> 00:51:32,687
When I heard you two amateurs
are gonna be handling so much of it,
1213
00:51:32,687 --> 00:51:33,812
I just had to have it.
1214
00:51:33,812 --> 00:51:35,937
"Had to have it." [giggles]
1215
00:51:35,937 --> 00:51:38,729
- So you didn't plant that knife?
- Or deepfake that footage?
1216
00:51:38,729 --> 00:51:41,229
Or slip something
into our drinks that night at the villa?
1217
00:51:41,229 --> 00:51:44,937
- Why bring that up? It's not relevant.
- [Audrey] Of course that is relevant!
1218
00:51:44,937 --> 00:51:47,646
- It's extremely relev--
- All right! All right! Jesus!
1219
00:51:47,646 --> 00:51:48,562
- God!
- [Nick] Yo.
1220
00:51:48,562 --> 00:51:50,771
Two bad guys never works out.
1221
00:51:50,771 --> 00:51:53,812
- One always double-crosses the other.
- [Audrey] It's a cliché of the genre.
1222
00:51:53,812 --> 00:51:56,104
- We've seen this before. Trust us.
- So many times.
1223
00:51:56,104 --> 00:51:57,187
- Save yourself.
- Please.
1224
00:51:57,187 --> 00:51:59,771
Imani? Is the car ready for our getaway?
1225
00:51:59,771 --> 00:52:01,562
- Yes, Countess.
- [Countess] Brilliant.
1226
00:52:02,396 --> 00:52:03,854
- No!
- No! Don't!
1227
00:52:03,854 --> 00:52:05,187
[gasps]
1228
00:52:06,229 --> 00:52:08,437
- [Audrey] Oh my God.
- I couldn't have been more clear.
1229
00:52:08,437 --> 00:52:09,812
[Audrey] That is the cliché.
1230
00:52:09,812 --> 00:52:11,062
- Yeah.
- Right there.
1231
00:52:11,062 --> 00:52:11,979
[Nick] Mm-hmm.
1232
00:52:11,979 --> 00:52:15,854
With any luck, the smoke will get to you
before the flames do.
1233
00:52:19,104 --> 00:52:20,437
- [both gasp]
- No!
1234
00:52:21,104 --> 00:52:21,937
Oops.
1235
00:52:23,854 --> 00:52:25,021
- [gunshots]
- [gasps]
1236
00:52:26,729 --> 00:52:27,646
[Audrey] What?
1237
00:52:27,646 --> 00:52:29,896
Triple cross.
1238
00:52:29,896 --> 00:52:31,812
[chuckles, groans]
1239
00:52:34,562 --> 00:52:37,771
Oh my God. We are so getting blamed
for both those assholes being dead.
1240
00:52:37,771 --> 00:52:38,812
[Nick] Let's go!
1241
00:52:38,812 --> 00:52:40,187
- We gotta hop out of here!
- Okay!
1242
00:52:40,187 --> 00:52:42,854
- Come on! Let's go! Let's go! Together!
- [Audrey yelps]
1243
00:52:42,854 --> 00:52:44,604
- Oh my God!
- Go, go, go! Back, back, back!
1244
00:52:44,604 --> 00:52:46,354
To the window! To the window! Go, go!
1245
00:52:46,354 --> 00:52:47,312
Back, back, back!
1246
00:52:47,312 --> 00:52:48,562
- [Audrey] Oh shit!
- [groans]
1247
00:52:48,562 --> 00:52:49,979
- [Audrey] Jesus!
- Are you okay?
1248
00:52:49,979 --> 00:52:52,187
- [Audrey] Are you okay?
- [Nick] You gotta roll away.
1249
00:52:52,187 --> 00:52:54,021
- [Audrey groans]
- No! That way!
1250
00:52:54,021 --> 00:52:54,937
[Audrey groans]
1251
00:52:54,937 --> 00:52:56,646
Oh my God, you're so big!
1252
00:52:56,646 --> 00:53:00,187
That's what you said on our honeymoon,
but like then, we gotta keep trying.
1253
00:53:00,187 --> 00:53:01,854
[both groaning]
1254
00:53:01,854 --> 00:53:05,771
Oh my God, honey! I don't even know
where we're rolling to, honey!
1255
00:53:05,771 --> 00:53:08,104
- [Nick] I don't know!
- [Audrey] Oh my God!
1256
00:53:09,021 --> 00:53:10,729
I was the one who roofied us.
1257
00:53:11,312 --> 00:53:12,562
Wha-- What?
1258
00:53:12,562 --> 00:53:15,146
I mean, you did it,
but it was because of me.
1259
00:53:15,146 --> 00:53:19,604
I keep my Ambien in the Advil bottle
that you use, and I...
1260
00:53:19,604 --> 00:53:21,687
I just get so stressed out. I'm sorry.
1261
00:53:21,687 --> 00:53:22,687
It was all me.
1262
00:53:22,687 --> 00:53:25,479
Don't apologize.
I'm the one who needs to apologize.
1263
00:53:25,479 --> 00:53:28,521
I have been criticizing you so much.
I feel terrible.
1264
00:53:28,521 --> 00:53:30,146
- I'm sorry.
- No. It doesn't matter.
1265
00:53:30,146 --> 00:53:32,396
Your billboards
and dental floss business cards--
1266
00:53:32,396 --> 00:53:35,271
- Dental floss business cards.
- [Audrey] I know, and I didn't think...
1267
00:53:35,271 --> 00:53:37,812
- It's not that it was a bad idea--
- The razor thing on the card!
1268
00:53:37,812 --> 00:53:40,562
I can use it to cut the tape!
I got one in my pocket!
1269
00:53:40,562 --> 00:53:42,479
- Where?
- Right here in the back pocket.
1270
00:53:42,479 --> 00:53:44,646
[Audrey] Oh! Hold on. Hold on! Hold on!
1271
00:53:44,646 --> 00:53:45,979
I'm trying to find it.
1272
00:53:45,979 --> 00:53:47,354
[Nick] Help me. Help me. Get it.
1273
00:53:47,354 --> 00:53:48,437
Get it. Get it. Reach.
1274
00:53:48,437 --> 00:53:51,396
- Reach down. Down. Please, God.
- [Audrey] Got it. I got it!
1275
00:53:51,396 --> 00:53:53,312
Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God.
1276
00:53:53,312 --> 00:53:54,937
Are we good? Are we cutting this?
1277
00:53:54,937 --> 00:53:56,646
- Is it working?
- I think it's working.
1278
00:53:56,646 --> 00:53:58,437
[Audrey] Oh my God!
1279
00:53:58,437 --> 00:54:00,187
I love you, dental floss business cards.
1280
00:54:00,187 --> 00:54:02,521
I love you so much.
Oh, please, please, please.
1281
00:54:02,521 --> 00:54:03,812
Yes! Yes!
1282
00:54:03,812 --> 00:54:05,146
Yes!
1283
00:54:05,146 --> 00:54:06,104
Get the feet.
1284
00:54:06,104 --> 00:54:08,354
- I got it!
- [Nick] Come on! Come on! Go! Go!
1285
00:54:09,812 --> 00:54:10,812
[Audrey] Oh no!
1286
00:54:11,396 --> 00:54:13,271
- What are you doing?
- [Nick] Oh God.
1287
00:54:13,271 --> 00:54:16,021
Here, take this.
I'm gonna shoot out the window.
1288
00:54:17,187 --> 00:54:18,146
God!
1289
00:54:19,771 --> 00:54:21,771
My God! It's a French gun!
1290
00:54:21,771 --> 00:54:22,729
[Audrey] Honey!
1291
00:54:22,729 --> 00:54:24,479
- No.
- What?
1292
00:54:25,021 --> 00:54:26,396
No!
1293
00:54:26,396 --> 00:54:29,146
["Bang Bang (My Baby Shot Me Down)"
by Sheila playing]
1294
00:55:01,229 --> 00:55:03,479
Baby! Oh! I love you!
1295
00:55:10,604 --> 00:55:12,146
[both panting]
1296
00:55:12,146 --> 00:55:13,062
Oh God.
1297
00:55:13,771 --> 00:55:14,812
- [turns key]
- [beeping]
1298
00:55:14,812 --> 00:55:15,729
- What?
- No!
1299
00:55:15,729 --> 00:55:18,354
- No, no! No, no, no!
- No, no, no, no, no!
1300
00:55:18,354 --> 00:55:19,771
Shit! Shit!
1301
00:55:19,771 --> 00:55:20,771
Nick.
1302
00:55:21,896 --> 00:55:23,521
["Ti-gars" by Lisa LeBlanc playing]
1303
00:55:25,812 --> 00:55:27,187
This time, I'm driving.
1304
00:55:27,187 --> 00:55:28,104
Okay.
1305
00:55:36,104 --> 00:55:37,479
[Nick strains]
1306
00:55:39,354 --> 00:55:41,437
Are you kidding me? [laughs] I can't...
1307
00:55:42,104 --> 00:55:43,562
You're getting it again, hon.
1308
00:55:43,562 --> 00:55:44,937
- Sorry.
- That's all right.
1309
00:55:48,396 --> 00:55:49,396
[song ends]
1310
00:55:50,687 --> 00:55:52,354
[Delacroix] Mesdames et messieurs...
1311
00:55:52,854 --> 00:55:55,062
My name is Inspector Laurent Delacroix.
1312
00:55:55,896 --> 00:55:59,937
Fifteen minutes ago, Interpol assumed
operational control of this matter
1313
00:55:59,937 --> 00:56:01,937
and assigned me to head the task force.
1314
00:56:02,812 --> 00:56:07,104
Okay, we get it, but why all of a sudden
Interpol gets involved?
1315
00:56:07,104 --> 00:56:09,146
The heinous nature of the crimes.
1316
00:56:09,146 --> 00:56:11,479
Several murders, a kidnapping,
1317
00:56:11,479 --> 00:56:14,062
the destruction
of the oldest café in Paris,
1318
00:56:14,062 --> 00:56:17,979
the tying up of a very handsome opera fan.
1319
00:56:17,979 --> 00:56:19,354
Oh dear God.
1320
00:56:19,354 --> 00:56:23,271
Okay, but why should we believe you'll
be able to find Nick and Audrey Spitz?
1321
00:56:23,271 --> 00:56:25,687
Because I have them on the phone.
1322
00:56:27,187 --> 00:56:29,771
- [Audrey] Hello? Hey. Is everybody there?
- Yes, Audrey.
1323
00:56:29,771 --> 00:56:30,812
Everyone except--
1324
00:56:30,812 --> 00:56:33,021
The Countess and her creepy little friend?
1325
00:56:33,021 --> 00:56:34,937
Give back Vikram, you monsters!
1326
00:56:34,937 --> 00:56:37,312
- You already got the money.
- Yes, we do have the money.
1327
00:56:37,312 --> 00:56:40,521
And if you ever wanna see it again,
you better tell the kidnapper
1328
00:56:40,521 --> 00:56:44,187
to bring the Maharajah
to the Jules Verne restaurant.
1329
00:56:44,187 --> 00:56:45,437
What? The what?
1330
00:56:45,937 --> 00:56:47,312
[Audrey] Jules Verne restaurant.
1331
00:56:47,312 --> 00:56:49,104
Jules Verne restaurant? Ah, Le Ju--
1332
00:56:49,646 --> 00:56:51,312
- Le Jules Verne.
- Oh.
1333
00:56:51,312 --> 00:56:54,354
On the observation deck
at the Eiffel Tower at midnight.
1334
00:56:54,354 --> 00:56:55,271
[Nick] Yes.
1335
00:56:55,271 --> 00:56:56,979
What do you mean?
We don't have my brother.
1336
00:56:56,979 --> 00:56:59,687
- Bullshit!
- Oh, somebody there does, okay?
1337
00:56:59,687 --> 00:57:03,687
So do what my wife just said.
Midnight, Maharajah, alive.
1338
00:57:03,687 --> 00:57:06,521
And, Inspector,
we tried to start your car up
1339
00:57:06,521 --> 00:57:09,146
but, uh, couldn't get it done,
so we left it there.
1340
00:57:09,146 --> 00:57:10,229
What?
1341
00:57:10,229 --> 00:57:12,271
We stole a Lamborghini. You can have that
1342
00:57:12,271 --> 00:57:13,687
when we're done with it.
1343
00:57:13,687 --> 00:57:14,896
Okay.
1344
00:57:16,812 --> 00:57:18,729
{\an8}[dramatic music playing]
1345
00:57:31,104 --> 00:57:32,062
[bell dings]
1346
00:57:38,062 --> 00:57:40,687
Oh my God. So gorgeous.
1347
00:57:41,896 --> 00:57:43,396
Why are you all dressed up?
1348
00:57:43,396 --> 00:57:45,687
We read online there was a dress code.
1349
00:57:45,687 --> 00:57:48,771
We couldn't get into Tavern on the Green
'cause I was wearing shorts one time.
1350
00:57:48,771 --> 00:57:50,229
- Wh-- Where is everybody?
- Yeah.
1351
00:57:50,229 --> 00:57:53,104
We bought out the restaurant
so we wouldn't be disturbed.
1352
00:57:53,104 --> 00:57:55,437
You do understand
the idea of doing this in public
1353
00:57:55,437 --> 00:57:57,437
is so there are actually people around?
1354
00:57:57,437 --> 00:58:00,729
- How did you even get these clothes?
- And you got your hair done?
1355
00:58:00,729 --> 00:58:02,562
Look, we had a situation, all right?
1356
00:58:02,562 --> 00:58:05,896
There was a moat, and then we did...
I don't have to explain myself, okay?
1357
00:58:05,896 --> 00:58:08,104
We'll be the ones
who ask the questions. How's that?
1358
00:58:08,104 --> 00:58:10,812
- Go ahead. Ask the questions.
- Let's review the suspects, shall we?
1359
00:58:10,812 --> 00:58:11,979
[sighs]
1360
00:58:11,979 --> 00:58:13,146
Get comfortable.
1361
00:58:13,146 --> 00:58:15,771
Let's start with Saira Govindan.
1362
00:58:15,771 --> 00:58:16,854
Me?
1363
00:58:16,854 --> 00:58:17,937
[Audrey] Mm.
1364
00:58:17,937 --> 00:58:19,229
I defended you.
1365
00:58:20,062 --> 00:58:21,354
I actually really liked you.
1366
00:58:21,354 --> 00:58:24,521
I know you did. We really liked you.
You've been so nice to us.
1367
00:58:24,521 --> 00:58:26,146
It's just kind of what we do.
1368
00:58:26,146 --> 00:58:28,646
Kidnap my own brother?
1369
00:58:28,646 --> 00:58:30,729
- She's getting upset.
- I see. She's in front of me.
1370
00:58:30,729 --> 00:58:32,104
Are you out of your mind?
1371
00:58:32,104 --> 00:58:34,146
- Just move on. Audrey, move on.
- Moving on.
1372
00:58:34,146 --> 00:58:35,187
[Nick] All good, Saira.
1373
00:58:35,187 --> 00:58:37,687
[Audrey] Francisco, chairman of the board.
1374
00:58:38,271 --> 00:58:42,229
With the Maharajah gone,
you can embezzle all the money you want
1375
00:58:42,229 --> 00:58:45,396
to cover all those paternity suits
for your 2,000 children.
1376
00:58:45,396 --> 00:58:47,937
I say we make it 2,001, huh?
1377
00:58:47,937 --> 00:58:48,979
Get out of my face.
1378
00:58:48,979 --> 00:58:50,687
Disgusting pig.
1379
00:58:50,687 --> 00:58:52,187
Claudette Joubert.
1380
00:58:52,187 --> 00:58:53,271
Joubert.
1381
00:58:53,271 --> 00:58:56,062
Parisian shopgirl desperate for money.
1382
00:58:56,646 --> 00:58:59,312
If I wanted money,
don't you think I'd just marry him?
1383
00:58:59,312 --> 00:59:01,937
Not with that brutal prenup
the board had you sign.
1384
00:59:03,354 --> 00:59:05,937
But what about the Colonel?
What's his motive?
1385
00:59:05,937 --> 00:59:10,937
Well, maybe he just is sick of working
for rich people 'cause you guys suck.
1386
00:59:11,687 --> 00:59:17,521
Or maybe the Colonel needed enough money
to afford himself
1387
00:59:18,562 --> 00:59:19,979
a bionic arm.
1388
00:59:20,604 --> 00:59:23,479
I looked into it.
They're not very expensive.
1389
00:59:23,479 --> 00:59:26,187
- How much are we talking?
- Twenty, thirty K.
1390
00:59:26,187 --> 00:59:29,229
That's it? Jeez, maybe I should get
something like that.
1391
00:59:29,229 --> 00:59:31,146
You're gonna have to lose an arm for that.
1392
00:59:31,146 --> 00:59:32,937
I wasn't talking about for the arm.
1393
00:59:32,937 --> 00:59:34,396
[chuckles]
1394
00:59:35,187 --> 00:59:38,312
Okay, we went through everybody.
1395
00:59:39,687 --> 00:59:40,646
Who did it?
1396
00:59:40,646 --> 00:59:42,687
[elevator bell dings]
1397
00:59:44,312 --> 00:59:45,562
[shrieks, laughs]
1398
00:59:45,562 --> 00:59:47,646
- [all laughing]
- Mon amour!
1399
00:59:47,646 --> 00:59:49,437
- Hey, hey, hey.
- [Audrey] Whoa, whoa.
1400
00:59:50,896 --> 00:59:53,479
Um, I've been asked to show you all
1401
00:59:53,479 --> 00:59:55,062
this sick-ass bomb and shit.
1402
00:59:55,062 --> 00:59:56,312
[all gasp]
1403
00:59:56,312 --> 00:59:57,687
Oh my God.
1404
00:59:57,687 --> 01:00:00,187
Enough to blow
this whole damn tower up, G.
1405
01:00:00,187 --> 01:00:05,312
So check it. You gotta put the Benjamins
in the lift and send it to the top floor.
1406
01:00:05,312 --> 01:00:09,229
Once the amount has been chickity-checked,
they'll send down the, uh...
1407
01:00:09,229 --> 01:00:12,187
God, what's it called?
The button blaster thingy? The--
1408
01:00:12,187 --> 01:00:14,229
- The remote detonator?
- Yes, that shit.
1409
01:00:14,229 --> 01:00:17,354
They'll send that back down,
and then we can be outtie.
1410
01:00:17,354 --> 01:00:21,604
And it's a bit of a hurry or something
because, you know...
1411
01:00:21,604 --> 01:00:23,646
- [all] Oh no!
- [Audrey] Oh my God, Nick!
1412
01:00:23,646 --> 01:00:26,896
Nick, Nick, Nick. The money.
You must put it in the elevator.
1413
01:00:26,896 --> 01:00:27,812
- Now!
- Nah.
1414
01:00:27,812 --> 01:00:29,312
- "Nah"?
- What do you mean, "nah"?
1415
01:00:29,312 --> 01:00:32,104
- What are you doing?
- I don't think they'll blow him up.
1416
01:00:32,104 --> 01:00:34,729
Nick, are you really just going
on a hunch right now?
1417
01:00:34,729 --> 01:00:35,812
- Trust me.
- [Vik] Nick!
1418
01:00:35,812 --> 01:00:36,729
Bro-heem!
1419
01:00:36,729 --> 01:00:39,479
No, it's all good in the hood, Maharajah.
1420
01:00:39,479 --> 01:00:42,437
Whoever did this
had some serious training, right?
1421
01:00:42,437 --> 01:00:45,104
'Cause he killed Mr. Lou, a lethal badass.
1422
01:00:45,104 --> 01:00:46,896
We're counting down here, G.
1423
01:00:46,896 --> 01:00:48,396
No, no. Nick, Nick, Nick!
1424
01:00:48,396 --> 01:00:51,646
And we know the kidnapper
had some major hacking skills
1425
01:00:51,646 --> 01:00:53,646
to access that footage
and do the deepfake.
1426
01:00:53,646 --> 01:00:55,104
Come on, Nick!
1427
01:00:55,771 --> 01:00:59,812
He knew exactly where to find
Mr. Lou and Vik backstage at the wedding
1428
01:00:59,812 --> 01:01:02,312
in order to pull off
the elephant switcheroo.
1429
01:01:02,312 --> 01:01:04,271
- But, honey--
- Nick! I'm gonna blow up!
1430
01:01:04,271 --> 01:01:06,021
With all that expertise...
1431
01:01:06,021 --> 01:01:07,896
- God, Nick!
- [rapid beeping]
1432
01:01:07,896 --> 01:01:09,854
...this guy should write a book.
1433
01:01:09,854 --> 01:01:11,687
- Oh my God, Nick!
- [all clamoring]
1434
01:01:11,687 --> 01:01:13,062
[Audrey screams]
1435
01:01:14,187 --> 01:01:16,021
[panting]
1436
01:01:17,521 --> 01:01:19,187
[Vik sighs]
1437
01:01:20,104 --> 01:01:21,396
[moans]
1438
01:01:22,146 --> 01:01:27,437
[sighs] "Thousands of studies have shown
that the kidnapper will do nothing
1439
01:01:27,437 --> 01:01:30,229
to jeopardize
the receiving of the ransom."
1440
01:01:30,229 --> 01:01:35,187
Chapter 9, section 3,
written by Mr. Connor Miller.
1441
01:01:35,771 --> 01:01:37,062
You read the book.
1442
01:01:37,062 --> 01:01:38,979
From cover to cover, sweetheart,
and it sucked.
1443
01:01:38,979 --> 01:01:41,062
You gotta try this. It's so good.
1444
01:01:41,062 --> 01:01:43,146
You just scared the crap out of me.
1445
01:01:43,146 --> 01:01:44,812
- [booming]
- [all screaming]
1446
01:01:50,521 --> 01:01:51,687
[Audrey] What was that?
1447
01:01:53,312 --> 01:01:54,187
What?
1448
01:01:57,187 --> 01:01:58,062
Very impressive.
1449
01:01:58,062 --> 01:02:01,021
How did you get out of that SUV
before it blew up?
1450
01:02:01,021 --> 01:02:02,187
I didn't.
1451
01:02:02,729 --> 01:02:05,521
I climbed into a bomb-proof
titanium chamber in the back seat.
1452
01:02:05,521 --> 01:02:09,562
A public death. What better way
to eliminate himself as a suspect.
1453
01:02:09,562 --> 01:02:13,396
Yeah, yeah. But everything didn't go
according to your plan, did it?
1454
01:02:13,396 --> 01:02:17,146
[Audrey] Your guy had his hand on the case
seconds before a clean getaway.
1455
01:02:17,146 --> 01:02:18,771
[Nick] And boom.
1456
01:02:18,771 --> 01:02:20,979
The greedy ex enters the chat.
1457
01:02:20,979 --> 01:02:24,521
Hmm. $70 million. That's a lot of money,
1458
01:02:24,521 --> 01:02:26,187
even for a countess.
1459
01:02:26,187 --> 01:02:29,771
So she sends Imani over
to hijack the hijackers.
1460
01:02:29,771 --> 01:02:31,562
- Who?
- [both] Imani.
1461
01:02:31,562 --> 01:02:33,687
- [Colonel] Who?
- Iman-- The sidekick to the--
1462
01:02:33,687 --> 01:02:35,854
The Countess's... You know, do the laugh.
1463
01:02:35,854 --> 01:02:36,771
Do I have to?
1464
01:02:36,771 --> 01:02:38,562
- Just knock it out.
- [imitates Imani]
1465
01:02:38,562 --> 01:02:39,854
- Okay.
- Oh.
1466
01:02:39,854 --> 01:02:40,771
Now they know.
1467
01:02:40,771 --> 01:02:42,354
And then she swoops in,
1468
01:02:42,354 --> 01:02:45,937
steals the ransom money
right out from under your nose.
1469
01:02:45,937 --> 01:02:47,437
[laughing]
1470
01:02:47,437 --> 01:02:49,187
- That must have hurt.
- Uh-huh.
1471
01:02:49,187 --> 01:02:52,437
Now, if you had, in fact,
read my book properly,
1472
01:02:52,437 --> 01:02:56,896
you'd remember that revealing the identity
of a heretofore anonymous criminal
1473
01:02:56,896 --> 01:03:01,396
puts all those privy
to that information at risk.
1474
01:03:01,396 --> 01:03:02,771
Which means
1475
01:03:04,396 --> 01:03:06,229
I'm gonna have to kill you all.
1476
01:03:06,729 --> 01:03:09,687
- [all clamoring]
- Oh God! [sobs]
1477
01:03:10,354 --> 01:03:11,521
Gary?
1478
01:03:13,229 --> 01:03:14,437
Who the hell are you?
1479
01:03:15,021 --> 01:03:15,896
I'm Susan.
1480
01:03:18,479 --> 01:03:20,646
- Do you know who this is?
- I have no idea.
1481
01:03:20,646 --> 01:03:25,437
Gary and I met here ten years ago
when I was studying abroad,
1482
01:03:25,437 --> 01:03:28,229
and we promised
that if we still loved each other
1483
01:03:28,229 --> 01:03:30,896
and we hadn't found anyone else,
1484
01:03:30,896 --> 01:03:36,187
that we would meet halfway
up the Eiffel Tower at midnight tonight.
1485
01:03:36,187 --> 01:03:37,979
[poignant music playing]
1486
01:03:37,979 --> 01:03:39,896
And I still love him very much.
1487
01:03:41,437 --> 01:03:43,062
Are any of you Gary?
1488
01:03:45,146 --> 01:03:47,021
Put your hand down, Francisco.
1489
01:03:47,021 --> 01:03:48,479
- [Audrey gasps]
- [Nick grunts]
1490
01:03:48,479 --> 01:03:50,062
- [Audrey] Oh my God!
- [all yelling]
1491
01:03:53,146 --> 01:03:53,979
Whoa!
1492
01:03:53,979 --> 01:03:54,979
Oh God!
1493
01:03:54,979 --> 01:03:56,479
[dramatic music playing]
1494
01:04:00,646 --> 01:04:01,771
Get ready.
1495
01:04:01,771 --> 01:04:03,854
[Delacroix panting]
1496
01:04:05,479 --> 01:04:07,229
It just remains for me to say,
1497
01:04:07,229 --> 01:04:08,687
it's been a pleasure.
1498
01:04:10,771 --> 01:04:12,729
He still has the button blaster thingy!
1499
01:04:16,229 --> 01:04:17,437
[Audrey yells]
1500
01:04:17,437 --> 01:04:19,562
- Audrey!
- [Audrey yelling]
1501
01:04:19,562 --> 01:04:21,729
[tense music playing]
1502
01:04:21,729 --> 01:04:22,771
Oh my God!
1503
01:04:23,437 --> 01:04:25,896
No! This is not what I planned!
1504
01:04:33,437 --> 01:04:34,771
[Audrey yells, pants]
1505
01:04:35,562 --> 01:04:37,687
[groaning]
1506
01:04:39,479 --> 01:04:42,271
There really is no end
to your bad decision-making, is there?
1507
01:04:42,896 --> 01:04:45,104
Nick! I can't believe I'm doing this.
1508
01:04:45,104 --> 01:04:46,687
Take my gun. [groans]
1509
01:04:46,687 --> 01:04:49,771
Wait! You need bullets. In my pocket.
1510
01:04:50,271 --> 01:04:52,437
Oh, you little rascal.
1511
01:04:53,021 --> 01:04:55,312
- You got it in there deep, huh?
- You got it.
1512
01:04:55,312 --> 01:04:56,687
[moans]
1513
01:04:56,687 --> 01:04:59,687
[Nick] Susan, put some pressure
on the inspector's wound.
1514
01:04:59,687 --> 01:05:02,187
Is this like an interactive theater thing?
1515
01:05:09,354 --> 01:05:10,812
[grunts, pants]
1516
01:05:10,812 --> 01:05:12,854
I'm glad my biggest fan
is gonna get to see this.
1517
01:05:12,854 --> 01:05:16,021
Actually, not as much of a fan
as I used to be.
1518
01:05:16,021 --> 01:05:18,437
That's a shame because
I'm about to teach my final lesson...
1519
01:05:18,437 --> 01:05:20,104
[weapons cocking]
1520
01:05:20,104 --> 01:05:22,062
How to blow up the Eiffel Tower
and get away with it.
1521
01:05:22,062 --> 01:05:23,479
You would never do that.
1522
01:05:23,479 --> 01:05:26,437
There's only one thing
I hate more than witnesses,
1523
01:05:26,437 --> 01:05:27,687
and that's the French.
1524
01:05:31,271 --> 01:05:34,604
That door opens,
everyone inside is dead, understand?
1525
01:05:34,604 --> 01:05:36,354
- [elevator bell dings]
- [Audrey] Nick!
1526
01:05:37,021 --> 01:05:39,562
No, Nick! No, no! No, no, no!
1527
01:05:40,354 --> 01:05:42,396
Nick! Oh!
1528
01:05:51,187 --> 01:05:52,104
[Claudette] It's stuck.
1529
01:05:52,104 --> 01:05:54,937
- Get this shit off me. I feel vulnerable!
- The vest is a medium.
1530
01:05:54,937 --> 01:05:56,729
You haven't been
a medium since you were 14!
1531
01:05:56,729 --> 01:05:59,187
Just chill out, please!
Get this vest off me.
1532
01:05:59,187 --> 01:06:00,229
You all right?
1533
01:06:00,229 --> 01:06:02,062
[breathless] I need my vape.
1534
01:06:02,062 --> 01:06:04,146
- Okay.
- [Delacroix] In my pocket there.
1535
01:06:04,146 --> 01:06:05,062
The right pocket.
1536
01:06:05,062 --> 01:06:06,229
- This?
- No, no.
1537
01:06:06,229 --> 01:06:07,771
Oh, no. That's your penis.
1538
01:06:07,771 --> 01:06:09,854
- You got it.
- [Susan] Okay, got it. Got it.
1539
01:06:09,854 --> 01:06:12,437
I don't think this is the best thing
for someone who's been shot,
1540
01:06:12,437 --> 01:06:13,562
but go for it.
1541
01:06:13,562 --> 01:06:15,646
[dramatic music playing]
1542
01:06:27,604 --> 01:06:28,854
Here comes Brooklyn.
1543
01:06:28,854 --> 01:06:30,354
[Nick yells]
1544
01:06:33,854 --> 01:06:34,854
[Audrey yelps]
1545
01:06:36,646 --> 01:06:38,354
[yelps, grunts]
1546
01:06:40,062 --> 01:06:41,437
[powering down sound]
1547
01:06:41,437 --> 01:06:42,437
[all clamoring]
1548
01:06:42,437 --> 01:06:43,729
- It stopped!
- Oh!
1549
01:06:43,729 --> 01:06:44,646
[sighs]
1550
01:06:44,646 --> 01:06:47,896
[all laughing]
1551
01:06:49,312 --> 01:06:50,937
[beeping]
1552
01:06:50,937 --> 01:06:52,521
Oh God!
1553
01:06:52,521 --> 01:06:53,812
[all yelling]
1554
01:06:53,812 --> 01:06:55,854
[intense rock music playing]
1555
01:07:01,146 --> 01:07:02,479
Argh!
1556
01:07:05,062 --> 01:07:07,729
[all yelling]
1557
01:07:07,729 --> 01:07:09,104
Cut that damn thing off!
1558
01:07:09,979 --> 01:07:11,979
[fighting grunts]
1559
01:07:15,021 --> 01:07:16,312
[man screams]
1560
01:07:17,854 --> 01:07:19,604
Step back, or this money goes.
1561
01:07:19,604 --> 01:07:21,062
I don't believe you.
1562
01:07:22,979 --> 01:07:25,187
[Nick screams, grunts]
1563
01:07:34,271 --> 01:07:35,104
Uh-uh.
1564
01:07:35,104 --> 01:07:36,021
[grunts]
1565
01:07:36,562 --> 01:07:39,354
How the hell do you do that
without getting a concussion?
1566
01:07:39,354 --> 01:07:40,729
God's gift!
1567
01:07:41,521 --> 01:07:43,229
He will never blink again.
1568
01:07:43,229 --> 01:07:45,979
- [Audrey] Nick!
- Yeah, we're coming, precious!
1569
01:07:45,979 --> 01:07:47,396
Let me handle this, please.
1570
01:07:48,021 --> 01:07:48,937
Oh!
1571
01:07:48,937 --> 01:07:51,687
Perhaps... a mild concussion.
1572
01:07:59,646 --> 01:08:01,687
- Get the thing off!
- We are all gonna blow up!
1573
01:08:01,687 --> 01:08:02,771
I don't know what to do!
1574
01:08:03,562 --> 01:08:04,937
[Nick] It's all good, babe!
1575
01:08:05,604 --> 01:08:07,687
Nicky Two Guns in the house!
1576
01:08:08,437 --> 01:08:11,146
[slow electronic music playing]
1577
01:08:19,021 --> 01:08:20,021
[music stops]
1578
01:08:21,562 --> 01:08:22,896
Did I hit anything?
1579
01:08:22,896 --> 01:08:24,979
You got the detonator thingy, honey!
1580
01:08:24,979 --> 01:08:26,896
Okay, good! That's what I was aiming for!
1581
01:08:26,896 --> 01:08:28,229
- [powers down]
- [Vik] Ooh!
1582
01:08:31,271 --> 01:08:33,271
[all sighing and laughing]
1583
01:08:33,271 --> 01:08:34,479
Oh, my love.
1584
01:08:34,479 --> 01:08:35,812
[Susan sighs]
1585
01:08:40,271 --> 01:08:42,187
The ring. The rings of love.
1586
01:08:43,521 --> 01:08:47,062
Yes. Okay. We're gonna use the guns
for something else now, aren't we, bro?
1587
01:08:47,062 --> 01:08:49,312
Smacked up your friends pretty good.
You're next.
1588
01:08:49,896 --> 01:08:51,062
What's up? What's up?
1589
01:08:53,479 --> 01:08:54,354
Okay.
1590
01:08:56,562 --> 01:08:58,104
Where you going? Babe!
1591
01:08:58,604 --> 01:08:59,437
Audrey!
1592
01:08:59,437 --> 01:09:00,854
[dramatic music playing]
1593
01:09:07,937 --> 01:09:08,812
Honey!
1594
01:09:08,812 --> 01:09:11,937
It's okay, baby! I got you! Just hang on!
1595
01:09:13,687 --> 01:09:15,646
- [groans]
- [whimpering]
1596
01:09:16,396 --> 01:09:17,312
[Audrey straining]
1597
01:09:21,854 --> 01:09:24,687
I must have missed the chapter
on face-kicking.
1598
01:09:27,104 --> 01:09:28,937
[Audrey screams]
1599
01:09:35,771 --> 01:09:37,354
[screams, grunts]
1600
01:09:39,604 --> 01:09:40,896
[yelling]
1601
01:09:45,896 --> 01:09:47,104
[Audrey] Oh my gosh.
1602
01:09:49,729 --> 01:09:51,854
[grunts] Come here.
1603
01:10:02,437 --> 01:10:04,562
It's time to make it rain, bitch.
1604
01:10:07,354 --> 01:10:09,312
[yelling] No!
1605
01:10:10,146 --> 01:10:12,271
[Nick laughing]
1606
01:10:12,271 --> 01:10:13,187
Oh!
1607
01:10:16,604 --> 01:10:17,437
[Susan] Oh!
1608
01:10:19,937 --> 01:10:21,146
[Audrey yells]
1609
01:10:24,062 --> 01:10:24,937
Come to me!
1610
01:10:27,104 --> 01:10:28,562
- [Nick] No!
- [Audrey grunts]
1611
01:10:29,729 --> 01:10:31,312
[panting]
1612
01:10:34,896 --> 01:10:36,687
[Audrey] No, no, no. Okay.
1613
01:10:39,604 --> 01:10:40,937
Finish off the others.
1614
01:10:46,771 --> 01:10:48,687
Oh... Okay.
1615
01:11:01,687 --> 01:11:03,854
[helicopter blades whirring]
1616
01:11:05,437 --> 01:11:08,062
- [Delacroix] What is that?
- That really killed the vibe.
1617
01:11:10,687 --> 01:11:11,854
[Audrey] Hey, Miller!
1618
01:11:14,937 --> 01:11:16,021
My husband was right.
1619
01:11:16,521 --> 01:11:17,896
Your book sucked.
1620
01:11:19,479 --> 01:11:21,354
She never misses.
1621
01:11:22,104 --> 01:11:23,312
[both groaning]
1622
01:11:23,312 --> 01:11:25,104
I'm so sorry!
1623
01:11:25,104 --> 01:11:27,312
- Now you miss?
- I'm sorry, baby! I'm sorry!
1624
01:11:27,312 --> 01:11:30,354
[screaming] Oh shit!
1625
01:11:30,354 --> 01:11:32,562
Goddamn! Are you aiming for me or him?
1626
01:11:32,562 --> 01:11:34,687
Him, I promise! I promise!
1627
01:11:34,687 --> 01:11:36,562
- Just shoot him. Shoot him!
- Shit!
1628
01:11:36,562 --> 01:11:37,687
- Okay.
- [Nick] Shoot him!
1629
01:11:37,687 --> 01:11:40,187
Uh, I've come to the end of my rope,
you know what I mean?
1630
01:11:40,187 --> 01:11:43,229
My wheels are really turning right now.
They're spinnin', my wheels.
1631
01:11:44,021 --> 01:11:45,104
[gun clicking]
1632
01:11:45,104 --> 01:11:46,771
Oh God. Okay.
1633
01:11:49,062 --> 01:11:49,979
Never misses, huh?
1634
01:11:50,896 --> 01:11:53,396
Not everybody
can be as good as you, I guess.
1635
01:11:59,271 --> 01:12:00,687
Enjoy the ride, Miller.
1636
01:12:00,687 --> 01:12:02,396
- [buzzes]
- [gears whirring]
1637
01:12:05,937 --> 01:12:07,104
[gasps]
1638
01:12:08,146 --> 01:12:09,646
[screaming]
1639
01:12:13,562 --> 01:12:15,021
[grunts]
1640
01:12:15,021 --> 01:12:16,396
Oh my God.
1641
01:12:17,979 --> 01:12:19,062
- [Susan shrieks]
- Get down!
1642
01:12:19,812 --> 01:12:20,812
[gasps]
1643
01:12:23,354 --> 01:12:24,771
- [screams]
- [exclaims]
1644
01:12:24,771 --> 01:12:25,937
- Oh!
- Jeez!
1645
01:12:29,812 --> 01:12:31,021
[beeping]
1646
01:12:39,229 --> 01:12:40,687
Paris is very weird.
1647
01:12:41,562 --> 01:12:42,687
He's dead this time.
1648
01:12:42,687 --> 01:12:44,771
- He's so dead.
- He is. It's done.
1649
01:12:45,437 --> 01:12:48,104
How did you come up with that plan?
How do you do that?
1650
01:12:48,104 --> 01:12:49,771
- I have no idea--
- You're a genius.
1651
01:12:49,771 --> 01:12:52,604
It just kinda came out.
Like, I just was like, what? My baby!
1652
01:12:52,604 --> 01:12:55,479
You are next-level! I would
never think of anything that good.
1653
01:12:55,479 --> 01:12:58,312
Thank you. I don't know what I did,
and it was so scary.
1654
01:12:59,479 --> 01:13:01,479
- What?
- We're a team now, hmm?
1655
01:13:01,479 --> 01:13:05,312
- No. No. Get him off. Get him off.
- Don't touch her. It's getting her upset.
1656
01:13:05,312 --> 01:13:06,437
- Back up.
- Just back up.
1657
01:13:06,437 --> 01:13:10,187
You did good, but just back up.
Give us room. Thank you.
1658
01:13:10,812 --> 01:13:13,229
- Oh, babe.
- It's all right. I love you, baby.
1659
01:13:13,229 --> 01:13:14,229
That was just...
1660
01:13:14,229 --> 01:13:16,812
It's kind of
a beautiful Paris night besides that.
1661
01:13:17,312 --> 01:13:18,271
Yeah.
1662
01:13:19,229 --> 01:13:21,229
[romantic music playing]
1663
01:13:24,437 --> 01:13:26,604
[applause]
1664
01:13:26,604 --> 01:13:27,687
Yes. Hey!
1665
01:13:27,687 --> 01:13:31,396
- [Colonel] Nick! Audrey!
- Hey! You guys did it again! Oh!
1666
01:13:31,396 --> 01:13:34,937
- Vik, I am so sorry about the money.
- Yes, we apologize.
1667
01:13:34,937 --> 01:13:36,437
It was a lot of money to throw away.
1668
01:13:36,437 --> 01:13:39,104
I think Paris is gonna thank you
from the bottom of their hearts.
1669
01:13:39,104 --> 01:13:42,729
Don't worry about it. Just as long as
none of my peeps got murked, yeah?
1670
01:13:42,729 --> 01:13:44,979
[laughs] Apart from Mr. Lou.
1671
01:13:44,979 --> 01:13:46,896
Oh, yeah, that's true.
1672
01:13:46,896 --> 01:13:49,521
- [laughs]
- Lou who, huh? [laughs]
1673
01:13:49,521 --> 01:13:52,729
Oh no. What happened to you?
Why are you bleeding?
1674
01:13:52,729 --> 01:13:55,271
Oh, no. It's... I'm not. It's henna.
1675
01:13:55,271 --> 01:13:57,312
It must have smeared
in tonight's commotion.
1676
01:13:57,937 --> 01:14:00,771
Oh, thank God. I'm sick.
I can't take one more accident tonight.
1677
01:14:00,771 --> 01:14:02,021
No more blood, please.
1678
01:14:02,021 --> 01:14:05,146
- I swear, I thought it was blood.
- I am exhausted. Aren't you?
1679
01:14:05,146 --> 01:14:06,062
[chuckles]
1680
01:14:06,062 --> 01:14:07,021
[Vik] Yeah.
1681
01:14:08,854 --> 01:14:12,187
- What are you muttering about right now?
- Something doesn't make sense.
1682
01:14:12,187 --> 01:14:14,687
[mysterious music playing]
1683
01:14:15,312 --> 01:14:17,229
I'm sorry. It just doesn't make any sense.
1684
01:14:17,229 --> 01:14:19,062
Saira, I'm so sorry. What...
1685
01:14:19,062 --> 01:14:23,062
Did you just say you smeared your henna
during tonight's commotion?
1686
01:14:23,062 --> 01:14:24,271
That's right.
1687
01:14:25,396 --> 01:14:26,521
That's interesting.
1688
01:14:27,021 --> 01:14:29,104
[scoffs] Why is that interesting?
1689
01:14:29,104 --> 01:14:30,729
[Nick] Yes, why is that interesting?
1690
01:14:30,729 --> 01:14:35,146
You know, I never saw you
during the welcome dance.
1691
01:14:35,146 --> 01:14:39,146
And then you just kind of showed up
right after the elephant arrived.
1692
01:14:39,146 --> 01:14:40,146
Yeah.
1693
01:14:40,146 --> 01:14:42,354
I was... I was getting a drink. [laughs]
1694
01:14:42,354 --> 01:14:46,479
Honey, I was a hairdresser,
and I know a thing or two about dyes,
1695
01:14:46,479 --> 01:14:48,187
and once henna sets,
1696
01:14:48,937 --> 01:14:50,271
it doesn't smear.
1697
01:14:51,729 --> 01:14:54,687
Sorry. I... I have no idea
what you're talking about.
1698
01:14:55,187 --> 01:14:58,354
That wasn't blood that I saw
on the elephant handler's robe.
1699
01:14:58,354 --> 01:14:59,812
It was henna.
1700
01:14:59,812 --> 01:15:03,646
And it was your henna that never had time
to dry the night of the murder.
1701
01:15:03,646 --> 01:15:05,396
Oh my God!
1702
01:15:05,396 --> 01:15:06,854
The sister did it!
1703
01:15:06,854 --> 01:15:08,729
Oh snap!
1704
01:15:08,729 --> 01:15:12,021
Come on. This is lunacy!
You guys, haven't we done this already?
1705
01:15:12,021 --> 01:15:15,271
I love my brother.
I mean, what reason would I have to--
1706
01:15:15,271 --> 01:15:18,854
Maybe because your parents gave him
the family business,
1707
01:15:18,854 --> 01:15:20,562
even though you're the smart one,
1708
01:15:20,562 --> 01:15:23,646
and he's the Jet Skiing rapper wannabe
with no skill at all?
1709
01:15:24,229 --> 01:15:25,062
No offense.
1710
01:15:25,062 --> 01:15:26,354
Some taken.
1711
01:15:26,354 --> 01:15:29,854
And isn't that the same reason
you tried to kill him in Mumbai?
1712
01:15:30,437 --> 01:15:31,396
You!
1713
01:15:32,562 --> 01:15:34,937
Well, my parents
were right about one thing.
1714
01:15:35,979 --> 01:15:37,854
If you need something done correctly,
1715
01:15:38,646 --> 01:15:40,396
you should just do it yourself.
1716
01:15:41,437 --> 01:15:42,354
[screaming]
1717
01:15:42,354 --> 01:15:43,687
- [Vik] Saira!
- [Audrey gasps]
1718
01:15:43,687 --> 01:15:45,062
[Colonel] No!
1719
01:15:46,062 --> 01:15:48,646
Oh! This poor guy, honey!
He's running out of arms!
1720
01:15:50,104 --> 01:15:50,979
Whoa!
1721
01:15:51,562 --> 01:15:52,604
Not in my town.
1722
01:15:52,604 --> 01:15:54,937
Yeah! That's my bae!
1723
01:15:54,937 --> 01:15:56,396
[sighs] Thank you, baby.
1724
01:15:56,396 --> 01:15:57,729
I've got to just...
1725
01:15:58,312 --> 01:16:00,771
- 'Sup! It's okay. Yeah.
- [Colonel groans]
1726
01:16:00,771 --> 01:16:04,146
You... You did great, pal.
You're my number one bodyguard.
1727
01:16:04,146 --> 01:16:06,187
And not just 'cause
the last one got smoked.
1728
01:16:06,187 --> 01:16:09,146
That Kwanzaa bonus
better be off the hook this year.
1729
01:16:09,146 --> 01:16:12,646
Hey, it's bionic arm time, bitch! Yeah?
1730
01:16:12,646 --> 01:16:13,896
- Yeah?
- Yeah!
1731
01:16:13,896 --> 01:16:14,812
[both laugh]
1732
01:16:15,562 --> 01:16:16,562
[Susan] You're okay.
1733
01:16:17,437 --> 01:16:19,646
- How are you feeling, young man?
- How are you doing?
1734
01:16:19,646 --> 01:16:22,646
- I'm okay.
- Laurent is a special man. Aren't you?
1735
01:16:22,646 --> 01:16:25,062
We're gonna go to dinner
once you get out of the hospital.
1736
01:16:25,062 --> 01:16:26,229
Ah!
1737
01:16:26,229 --> 01:16:29,062
Paris weaves its spell once again.
1738
01:16:29,062 --> 01:16:30,312
Feel better.
1739
01:16:30,312 --> 01:16:32,271
- All right.
- [Vik] Should we tell them?
1740
01:16:32,271 --> 01:16:36,146
- Yes! [laughs]
- Okay, guys. We decided to elope.
1741
01:16:36,146 --> 01:16:38,854
- That is the smart choice, always.
- That's amazing.
1742
01:16:38,854 --> 01:16:39,812
Good for you guys.
1743
01:16:39,812 --> 01:16:42,021
Yeah, no family, but, um,
1744
01:16:42,646 --> 01:16:43,896
I owe you guys my life.
1745
01:16:43,896 --> 01:16:46,271
Oh, we're just happy you're both okay.
1746
01:16:46,271 --> 01:16:49,062
And really, honestly, thank you
for giving us an adventure...
1747
01:16:49,062 --> 01:16:49,979
Yes.
1748
01:16:49,979 --> 01:16:51,771
...we are never going to forget.
1749
01:16:51,771 --> 01:16:52,812
- Oh.
- Yep.
1750
01:16:52,812 --> 01:16:55,437
- I guess we're even then. Peace out.
- Peace out!
1751
01:16:55,937 --> 01:16:56,937
- Bye-bye.
- Au revoir!
1752
01:16:56,937 --> 01:16:59,562
Sorry about your sister
being a psycho, by the way.
1753
01:16:59,562 --> 01:17:01,937
Ah, don't worry about it.
She's a real piece of shit.
1754
01:17:01,937 --> 01:17:03,354
- Yes, she was.
- [both] Yeah.
1755
01:17:03,354 --> 01:17:05,562
- [Nick] Okay.
- Honey, I'm really ready to go home.
1756
01:17:05,562 --> 01:17:07,687
- Yes, I am too.
- I'm really ready.
1757
01:17:09,146 --> 01:17:10,937
We have to do one thing first.
1758
01:17:11,771 --> 01:17:14,646
- Trust me. Trust me. All right?
- What? Okay. Okay. Okay.
1759
01:17:14,646 --> 01:17:17,396
- [Nick] Check on the Colonel. You okay?
- [Audrey] Colonel!
1760
01:17:17,396 --> 01:17:18,854
You're not losing this arm?
1761
01:17:18,854 --> 01:17:21,562
["Et Moi, Et Moi, Et Moi"
by Jacques Dutronc playing]
1762
01:17:29,812 --> 01:17:31,937
[Nick] Click it. Click it. We did it.
1763
01:17:32,687 --> 01:17:36,646
Now we are forever locked up together
for the rest of our lives.
1764
01:17:36,646 --> 01:17:38,854
I'd never wanna be locked up
with anybody else.
1765
01:17:38,854 --> 01:17:41,021
Me neither, sweetheart. You are--
1766
01:17:41,021 --> 01:17:43,104
- [man] The Shitz!
- What?
1767
01:17:43,104 --> 01:17:45,354
[chuckles] Nick and Audrey Shitz!
1768
01:17:45,354 --> 01:17:48,354
- The helicopter guy? What the--
- What are you doing here?
1769
01:17:48,354 --> 01:17:49,604
Take it. Take the phone!
1770
01:17:50,104 --> 01:17:51,062
Hello?
1771
01:17:51,062 --> 01:17:53,812
[Vik] Of course we're not even.
Take my helicopter!
1772
01:17:53,812 --> 01:17:57,979
Go anywhere! Have a honeymoon you deserve!
And a little cash!
1773
01:17:57,979 --> 01:18:00,146
- What?
- Cash? A bag of--
1774
01:18:00,146 --> 01:18:01,604
- Are you for real?
- [Nick laughs]
1775
01:18:01,604 --> 01:18:04,729
- Oh my gosh. Look! Oh my--
- Well, yeah.
1776
01:18:04,729 --> 01:18:07,104
That seems to be enough money. Thank you.
1777
01:18:07,104 --> 01:18:09,562
[Vik] Just ten million!
Don't spend it all in one place!
1778
01:18:09,562 --> 01:18:11,354
But if you do spend it all,
1779
01:18:11,354 --> 01:18:12,729
just sell the briefcase.
1780
01:18:12,729 --> 01:18:14,271
It's worth three million!
1781
01:18:14,271 --> 01:18:16,437
- It's dinosaur leather!
- My God!
1782
01:18:16,437 --> 01:18:18,812
Dinosaur? We can't take this! Come on!
1783
01:18:18,812 --> 01:18:21,146
You know what?
We will take this. Thank you.
1784
01:18:21,146 --> 01:18:24,104
[Vik] Now you two keep busting nuts!
Maharajah out!
1785
01:18:24,104 --> 01:18:26,021
What's the first thing you wanna do?
1786
01:18:26,021 --> 01:18:27,771
- I wanna kiss you!
- Ah!
1787
01:18:31,396 --> 01:18:32,646
I can't believe this!
1788
01:18:32,646 --> 01:18:34,729
[uplifting music playing]
1789
01:18:39,479 --> 01:18:41,437
- My baby.
- My darling.
1790
01:18:41,437 --> 01:18:43,687
The honeymoon we always deserved.
1791
01:18:43,687 --> 01:18:45,271
- Exactly.
- Finally.
1792
01:18:45,271 --> 01:18:47,312
[both] Mm-hmm.
1793
01:18:47,312 --> 01:18:49,562
Can you believe how lucky we are?
1794
01:18:50,354 --> 01:18:51,646
- [gun cocks]
- [gasps]
1795
01:18:52,687 --> 01:18:54,312
[American accent] You liking those drinks?
1796
01:18:54,312 --> 01:18:56,479
- What--
- Are you shitz-ing us right now?
1797
01:18:56,479 --> 01:18:57,854
Hand me the bag.
1798
01:18:57,854 --> 01:18:59,312
What? The, uh--
1799
01:18:59,312 --> 01:19:01,604
- Bag. Hand me the bag.
- You want this?
1800
01:19:01,604 --> 01:19:03,646
- That's not a problem.
- Give him the bag.
1801
01:19:03,646 --> 01:19:05,479
[Nick] What happened to the accent?
1802
01:19:06,312 --> 01:19:07,437
It's back in Jersey.
1803
01:19:07,437 --> 01:19:09,646
Let's just have a civilized conversation.
1804
01:19:09,646 --> 01:19:11,479
[pilot] See you never, Shitzes!
1805
01:19:11,479 --> 01:19:15,354
- Oh my God! Where did he--
- Oh my God! Oh-- Oh my--
1806
01:19:16,062 --> 01:19:17,354
["Spellbinding" by
The Smashing Pumpkins plays]
1807
01:19:17,354 --> 01:19:19,729
♪ Take me away, I'm gonna find you ♪
1808
01:19:22,479 --> 01:19:26,646
♪ Take me away, I'm gonna find you ♪
1809
01:19:28,687 --> 01:19:35,187
♪ 'Cause nobody else could ever mind you
Ooh, ooh ♪
1810
01:19:35,187 --> 01:19:39,604
♪ Take me away, I'm gonna find you ♪
1811
01:19:41,146 --> 01:19:45,187
♪ Can you feel this? ♪
1812
01:19:45,187 --> 01:19:50,187
♪ I can feel it for you tomorrow ♪
1813
01:19:50,187 --> 01:19:52,396
♪ It's all in, baby ♪
1814
01:19:52,396 --> 01:19:54,146
♪ Looks all hazy ♪
1815
01:19:54,146 --> 01:19:57,437
♪ So I've gone crazy ♪
1816
01:20:08,979 --> 01:20:12,687
♪ Take me away, I'm gonna find you ♪
1817
01:20:15,396 --> 01:20:19,562
♪ Take me away, I'm gonna find you ♪
1818
01:20:21,687 --> 01:20:28,187
♪ 'Cause nobody else could ever mind you
Ooh, ooh ♪
1819
01:20:28,187 --> 01:20:31,146
♪ Take me away, I'm gonna find you ♪
1820
01:20:31,146 --> 01:20:33,021
♪ Through, through this ♪
1821
01:20:33,021 --> 01:20:37,896
♪ Right while I was writing my own song ♪
1822
01:20:39,437 --> 01:20:42,854
♪ Raise your eyes and glass ♪
1823
01:20:48,479 --> 01:20:52,312
♪ Take me away, I'm gonna find you ♪
1824
01:20:54,854 --> 01:20:59,062
♪ Take me away, I'm gonna find you ♪
1825
01:21:01,229 --> 01:21:07,604
♪ 'Cause nobody else could ever mind you
Ooh, ooh ♪
1826
01:21:07,604 --> 01:21:10,187
♪ Take me away ♪
1827
01:21:14,146 --> 01:21:16,646
♪ Take me away ♪
1828
01:21:24,271 --> 01:21:26,979
[tense orchestral music playing]
1829
01:27:30,104 --> 01:27:33,104
[triumphant orchestral music playing]
133710
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