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1
00:00:06,921 --> 00:00:11,080
Now, be kind. I've
had this place forever.
2
00:00:11,085 --> 00:00:14,222
Buyers love a classic old brownstone,
3
00:00:14,227 --> 00:00:16,511
and I can light a few Diptyques
4
00:00:16,516 --> 00:00:18,807
to cover that classic
old brownstone smell.
5
00:00:18,812 --> 00:00:21,354
Seema, this is just me showing you
6
00:00:21,359 --> 00:00:23,819
where I've been
staying, since you asked.
7
00:00:23,824 --> 00:00:27,619
- It's not about a sale.
- SEEMA: Everything is about a sale.
8
00:00:28,791 --> 00:00:30,608
- CARRIE: Ooh.
- What the hell are you doing?
9
00:00:30,613 --> 00:00:33,104
Oh, it's just my lower back.
10
00:00:33,109 --> 00:00:35,780
Sometimes, I need a little
help getting up the stairs.
11
00:00:35,785 --> 00:00:36,948
A little help?
12
00:00:36,953 --> 00:00:39,734
You're using an umbrella as a cane.
13
00:00:41,515 --> 00:00:46,041
The internet says I
have "old lady back."
14
00:00:46,046 --> 00:00:50,253
The internet is for perverts.
What does your orthopedist say?
15
00:00:50,258 --> 00:00:52,226
Ohh...
16
00:00:52,231 --> 00:00:56,009
- you know I don't have one of those.
- Well, now you do.
17
00:00:56,014 --> 00:00:57,474
Let me call my cousin's office,
18
00:00:57,479 --> 00:00:58,722
and get you an appointment later today.
19
00:00:58,726 --> 00:01:00,862
Oh, no, no, please
don't go to any trouble
20
00:01:00,867 --> 00:01:04,104
over my completely
common senior condition.
21
00:01:04,109 --> 00:01:07,145
Nonsense. You're not old,
and Vik doesn't have anything
22
00:01:07,150 --> 00:01:09,554
he can't move to get you in.
23
00:01:09,801 --> 00:01:11,886
- Charming.
- Thank you.
24
00:01:12,407 --> 00:01:14,760
I can have a crew here to
take care of that tomorrow.
25
00:01:14,765 --> 00:01:17,546
- Oh.
- SEEMA: Hi, my darling, it's Seema.
26
00:01:17,551 --> 00:01:20,200
Does Vikash have any time
in the next couple of hours
27
00:01:20,205 --> 00:01:22,320
to see my friend about her sore back?
28
00:01:22,663 --> 00:01:24,120
No, it's not an emergency,
29
00:01:24,125 --> 00:01:26,671
but she does need to
be seen immediately,
30
00:01:26,676 --> 00:01:29,083
preferably before
3:00. I have a showing.
31
00:01:29,088 --> 00:01:30,965
Seema, there is no urgency to this
32
00:01:30,970 --> 00:01:32,924
'cause, 'cause I, actually, I,
33
00:01:32,929 --> 00:01:37,234
I bought these very fancy
patches that I saw on TV.
34
00:01:37,239 --> 00:01:38,927
They heat up when you stick them on.
35
00:01:38,932 --> 00:01:40,987
They're like magic, back magic.
36
00:01:40,992 --> 00:01:44,945
Thank you so much, Jessie.
We'll see you soon. Bye.
37
00:01:45,373 --> 00:01:48,351
I should hire you to be in
charge of my entire life.
38
00:01:48,356 --> 00:01:49,756
I know you're joking but, honestly,
39
00:01:49,761 --> 00:01:51,429
you could use some help.
40
00:01:51,434 --> 00:01:53,898
Chop-chop, grandma.
Vik will see you in an hour.
41
00:01:57,788 --> 00:02:00,171
See, it's magic.
42
00:02:00,176 --> 00:02:01,261
[SEEMA SNORTS]
43
00:02:01,819 --> 00:02:06,819
Synced & corrected by QueenMaddie
www.addic7ed.com
44
00:02:07,864 --> 00:02:09,921
Okay, I'm here. How we doin'?
45
00:02:10,834 --> 00:02:12,210
What on earth took you so long?
46
00:02:12,215 --> 00:02:14,801
The technician took her
X-rays like half an hour ago.
47
00:02:14,830 --> 00:02:17,854
Um... I'm fine. Thank you for asking.
48
00:02:17,859 --> 00:02:20,140
Hiya, Carrie. I'm Vikash.
49
00:02:20,145 --> 00:02:22,595
I'm sure Seema gave
you my entire resume,
50
00:02:22,600 --> 00:02:24,971
and dating history
in the car on the way,
51
00:02:24,976 --> 00:02:28,242
so I won't bother you
with a formal introduction.
52
00:02:28,247 --> 00:02:30,228
Well, it's very nice
to meet you, Dr. Patel.
53
00:02:30,233 --> 00:02:33,257
So, my colleague, Dr. Wilson,
and I looked at your films...
54
00:02:33,262 --> 00:02:34,351
It's arthritis, right?
55
00:02:34,356 --> 00:02:35,854
I have old lady disease in my back.
56
00:02:35,859 --> 00:02:37,111
That's what the internet told me.
57
00:02:37,115 --> 00:02:39,112
I am sorry if my medical degree
58
00:02:39,117 --> 00:02:40,789
contradicts Google's algorithm,
59
00:02:40,794 --> 00:02:42,710
but I think...
60
00:02:43,478 --> 00:02:47,218
Well, I'm not a doctor,
but, uh, that's not my back.
61
00:02:47,223 --> 00:02:48,308
Wait for it.
62
00:02:50,310 --> 00:02:52,000
It's your hip.
63
00:02:52,448 --> 00:02:55,174
You have an undiagnosed
congenital birth defect.
64
00:02:55,179 --> 00:02:56,664
- I do?
- But it's something
65
00:02:56,669 --> 00:02:59,671
I can fix surgically, and get you back
on your feet in no time.
66
00:03:01,000 --> 00:03:02,955
I'm not an old lady!
67
00:03:02,960 --> 00:03:05,929
I have a congenital hip defect.
68
00:03:05,934 --> 00:03:08,016
But you are having hip surgery,
69
00:03:08,021 --> 00:03:10,179
so it's, it's kind of an old thing.
70
00:03:10,184 --> 00:03:11,936
Yeah, hip as an adjective is young,
71
00:03:11,941 --> 00:03:13,703
but hip as a noun is kinda old.
72
00:03:13,708 --> 00:03:16,159
If we're being honest,
using hip as an adjective
73
00:03:16,164 --> 00:03:18,609
is knock-knock-knockin' on
the nursin' home door, too.
74
00:03:18,614 --> 00:03:21,743
- I am no longer paying for lunch.
- Come on.
75
00:03:21,748 --> 00:03:24,507
We are thrilled that you
found an archaeologist
76
00:03:24,512 --> 00:03:26,279
to saw your old carcass open,
77
00:03:26,284 --> 00:03:28,460
and try to put those
sanded-down fossils
78
00:03:28,465 --> 00:03:30,585
- inside you back together
- Anthony!
79
00:03:30,590 --> 00:03:32,332
What?! She laughed.
80
00:03:32,337 --> 00:03:34,523
And this is my first solo
lunch with you ladies.
81
00:03:34,528 --> 00:03:35,778
I've really gotta bring it.
82
00:03:35,783 --> 00:03:37,420
This calls for champagne.
83
00:03:38,140 --> 00:03:42,531
- Miranda, it, it isn't even 12:30.
- We're celebrating.
84
00:03:42,742 --> 00:03:45,289
Anthony is here, and Carrie is not old.
85
00:03:45,294 --> 00:03:47,916
CARRIE: No, I'm not, and Dr. Patel said
86
00:03:47,921 --> 00:03:50,146
he couldn't believe I
was still up and walking,
87
00:03:50,151 --> 00:03:52,507
and after these last two
months, neither can I.
88
00:03:52,512 --> 00:03:55,335
So, I have started an Excel spreadsheet,
89
00:03:55,340 --> 00:03:57,231
so that we can all
take turns helping out
90
00:03:57,236 --> 00:03:58,947
with Carrie's recovery post-surgery.
91
00:03:58,952 --> 00:04:00,704
You guys, this is so nice, truly,
92
00:04:00,709 --> 00:04:02,617
and if it's too much, you know, I can,
93
00:04:02,622 --> 00:04:03,832
I can always hire a nurse.
94
00:04:03,837 --> 00:04:06,366
I just... I just don't wanna be alone.
95
00:04:06,371 --> 00:04:08,195
- You won't be alone.
- We're here for you.
96
00:04:08,200 --> 00:04:09,948
I'm not changin' any bedpans.
97
00:04:09,953 --> 00:04:14,070
I would rather die than show you my pee.
98
00:04:14,075 --> 00:04:16,286
Okay... They say
99
00:04:16,291 --> 00:04:18,044
that Carrie will be on crutches
100
00:04:18,049 --> 00:04:19,666
for two to three weeks,
101
00:04:19,671 --> 00:04:22,820
and then, six to eight weeks PT,
102
00:04:22,825 --> 00:04:25,080
and then, full recovery in a few months.
103
00:04:25,085 --> 00:04:28,059
- But no strenuous exercise.
- Not a problem.
104
00:04:28,064 --> 00:04:30,269
- And no heels.
- Problem.
105
00:04:30,274 --> 00:04:32,057
Do you even own a flat shoe?
106
00:04:32,062 --> 00:04:37,210
Yes, I bought a pair of Toms in 2007.
107
00:04:37,547 --> 00:04:41,968
But that was... just because it
made me feel like a good person.
108
00:04:41,973 --> 00:04:43,433
MIRANDA: Aw.
109
00:04:43,908 --> 00:04:45,750
So, we're all set for the entire class
110
00:04:45,769 --> 00:04:48,480
to go to MoMA PS1 to
see the James Turrell?
111
00:04:48,485 --> 00:04:50,243
Yes, we are. I collected all
112
00:04:50,248 --> 00:04:51,749
the permission slips and fees,
113
00:04:51,754 --> 00:04:54,539
and I think Ainsley took
care of the charter bus.
114
00:04:54,544 --> 00:04:56,726
I did, even got us a discount.
115
00:04:56,731 --> 00:04:58,650
Great! Does anyone have anything else
116
00:04:58,655 --> 00:05:00,289
before we break for this week?
117
00:05:00,515 --> 00:05:03,052
- Veronica.
- Uh, n-nothing official.
118
00:05:03,057 --> 00:05:05,675
Just wanted to say how funny
Rock was in the school play.
119
00:05:05,680 --> 00:05:08,848
Oh my goodness. Yes, Rock, yes!
120
00:05:08,853 --> 00:05:10,664
Oh, Rock was a total rock star...
121
00:05:10,669 --> 00:05:13,005
Wait, Wait, who's Rock?
122
00:05:13,160 --> 00:05:14,976
Did-did I somehow miss a new kid?
123
00:05:14,981 --> 00:05:16,899
No, Rock, your...
124
00:05:19,550 --> 00:05:21,395
CHARLOTTE: Did everyone just freeze?
125
00:05:21,400 --> 00:05:23,614
Okay, ladies, we're done
here, right? Talk soon.
126
00:05:23,619 --> 00:05:25,579
Charlotte, I'm gonna call you right now.
127
00:05:30,993 --> 00:05:32,692
- Okay.
- [PHONE RINGING]
128
00:05:33,711 --> 00:05:35,084
- Hello?
- LISA [ON PHONE]: It's me.
129
00:05:35,088 --> 00:05:36,684
I, I assumed you knew.
130
00:05:36,689 --> 00:05:39,023
Wait, what is happening? Knew what?
131
00:05:39,028 --> 00:05:41,093
Rose told everyone at
school to call her Rock.
132
00:05:41,098 --> 00:05:45,965
Well, is it Rock as in
like a jokey nickname,
133
00:05:45,970 --> 00:05:50,140
or is it Rock as in, "I don't wanna
be Rose anymore"?
134
00:05:50,145 --> 00:05:53,586
Sorry, sweetie...
I don't know the context.
135
00:05:53,591 --> 00:05:55,104
[CHOPPING LOUDLY]
136
00:05:55,109 --> 00:05:56,986
Are, are you hammering or something?
137
00:05:56,991 --> 00:05:59,952
No, no, I'm just making snacks.
138
00:06:01,440 --> 00:06:04,515
- Bam! I'm beating you, Dad.
- Oh no! Dude!
139
00:06:04,520 --> 00:06:05,966
You lose, come on!
140
00:06:05,971 --> 00:06:07,944
- Oh!
- Harry.
141
00:06:07,949 --> 00:06:11,280
Can we please take
a moment from exploding frogs?
142
00:06:11,285 --> 00:06:14,093
I'm confused. I need information.
143
00:06:14,098 --> 00:06:18,790
Rose, did you change your
name at school to Rock?
144
00:06:18,795 --> 00:06:21,236
- Yeah.
- You changed your name?
145
00:06:21,241 --> 00:06:23,002
And you didn't want to tell us
146
00:06:23,007 --> 00:06:24,634
before you told everyone at school?
147
00:06:24,639 --> 00:06:25,697
I did let you know.
148
00:06:25,702 --> 00:06:26,874
I put up a TikTok.
149
00:06:26,879 --> 00:06:29,550
Well, you put up about 10 TikToks today,
150
00:06:29,555 --> 00:06:31,929
so... I guess I'm behind.
151
00:06:32,223 --> 00:06:33,623
- [ELECTRONIC MUSIC PLAYING]
- Here.
152
00:06:35,645 --> 00:06:37,358
[RAPS] ♪ Yo, my name is Rock ♪
153
00:06:37,363 --> 00:06:39,054
♪ The new kid on the block ♪
154
00:06:39,059 --> 00:06:41,569
♪ Not tryna shock or joinin' the flock ♪
155
00:06:41,574 --> 00:06:44,311
- ♪ R-o-c-k, Rock ♪
- [BOTH SINGING ALONG]
156
00:06:44,316 --> 00:06:47,235
♪ R-o-c-k, Rock ♪
157
00:06:47,240 --> 00:06:49,296
R-o-c-k, Rock. We get it.
158
00:06:50,648 --> 00:06:53,796
I'm sorry, what, wh-what's happenin'?
159
00:06:53,890 --> 00:06:55,702
Are, are you a rapper now?
160
00:06:56,022 --> 00:06:58,241
- Is, is Rock your rapper name?
- Dad.
161
00:06:58,246 --> 00:07:00,373
Rapper name? Don't ever say that again.
162
00:07:00,378 --> 00:07:01,629
CHARLOTTE: Let's stay focused.
163
00:07:02,414 --> 00:07:05,905
Did you do this because your friend
Ellen changed her name to Eli?
164
00:07:05,910 --> 00:07:09,522
No, it's because I feel like Rock.
165
00:07:09,811 --> 00:07:11,843
And Eli now goes by Scout.
166
00:07:11,848 --> 00:07:15,093
Well, good for Scout, so
let me get this straight.
167
00:07:15,098 --> 00:07:18,224
Everyone at school is
now calling you Rock?
168
00:07:18,229 --> 00:07:19,229
Even your teachers?
169
00:07:19,234 --> 00:07:20,893
Yeah, they're cool with it.
170
00:07:20,898 --> 00:07:23,374
Oh, well, as long as
they're cool with it.
171
00:07:26,002 --> 00:07:27,491
- Hey!
- Oh, hey!
172
00:07:27,496 --> 00:07:29,956
- You still up?
- Yeah, just need to get some water.
173
00:07:31,379 --> 00:07:33,577
Wow, you get a lotta
packages from Amazon.
174
00:07:33,582 --> 00:07:37,132
Yes, I do... too many...
and not all for me.
175
00:07:37,681 --> 00:07:43,421
Uh, tube socks and Astroglide.
[GASPS] Strawberry flavor.
176
00:07:44,498 --> 00:07:47,280
Sorry, meant to intercept that.
177
00:07:47,285 --> 00:07:49,452
MIRANDA: Next time, please do.
178
00:07:51,441 --> 00:07:53,968
You know, I love how cool
you are about all that stuff.
179
00:07:53,973 --> 00:07:56,601
I mean, if my mom ever
opened my lube in her house,
180
00:07:56,606 --> 00:07:59,460
she would've choked me
to death with a rosary.
181
00:08:00,324 --> 00:08:03,000
_
182
00:08:03,005 --> 00:08:04,979
Ooh, what book did you order?
183
00:08:04,984 --> 00:08:08,452
Oh, I, uh, I didn't order
this. Must be a mistake.
184
00:08:08,894 --> 00:08:12,773
Yeah, it's, it's a mistake.
That's not for me.
185
00:08:12,918 --> 00:08:14,500
LUISA: See, that's why I
never order things online.
186
00:08:14,504 --> 00:08:16,812
You never know who has
access to your information.
187
00:08:17,046 --> 00:08:20,583
Well, I'm, uh, I'm definitely
gonna check my account
188
00:08:20,588 --> 00:08:22,632
because I did not order this.
189
00:08:27,241 --> 00:08:30,103
- RECEPTIONIST: Name?
- Oh, Carrie Bradshaw for Dr. Patel.
190
00:08:30,108 --> 00:08:32,694
I, I filled out all the forms online
191
00:08:32,699 --> 00:08:35,380
during an extremely
productive panic attack.
192
00:08:35,385 --> 00:08:38,346
Excellent. Well, then, Miss
Bradshaw, take this buzzer,
193
00:08:38,351 --> 00:08:40,140
and when it lights up,
we'll take you back.
194
00:08:40,389 --> 00:08:43,809
- Really? Am I at Applebee's?
- You wish.
195
00:08:43,814 --> 00:08:45,642
Lucky for you, our knives are sharper.
196
00:08:45,647 --> 00:08:48,147
- [CHUCKLES] Okay, thank you.
- You're welcome.
197
00:08:48,152 --> 00:08:49,522
Ouch.
198
00:08:52,509 --> 00:08:54,178
Ugh.
199
00:08:55,993 --> 00:08:58,046
This is very unsettling.
200
00:08:58,428 --> 00:09:00,326
Well, it is a hospital.
201
00:09:00,331 --> 00:09:02,750
No, I meant my stocks and socks.
202
00:09:02,755 --> 00:09:05,341
From here down I look
like a Vermont art teacher.
203
00:09:05,346 --> 00:09:06,476
[LAUGHS]
204
00:09:07,400 --> 00:09:09,168
Will I be able to trade this in
205
00:09:09,173 --> 00:09:11,647
for a free margarita at the end?
206
00:09:12,001 --> 00:09:13,155
Oh.
207
00:09:13,647 --> 00:09:15,741
Speaking of that,
208
00:09:15,746 --> 00:09:19,500
Charlotte sent me a book
about quitting drinking.
209
00:09:19,505 --> 00:09:20,882
- She did?
- Yeah.
210
00:09:20,887 --> 00:09:22,555
I was unboxing my teenage son's
211
00:09:22,560 --> 00:09:24,382
artificially flavored lubricant
212
00:09:24,387 --> 00:09:25,472
and sweat socks,
213
00:09:25,477 --> 00:09:27,645
and I found a package with a book in it
214
00:09:27,650 --> 00:09:29,780
called "Quit Like a Woman:
215
00:09:29,785 --> 00:09:31,827
How to Make the Radical
Choice Not to Drink,"
216
00:09:31,832 --> 00:09:33,375
and many more bullshit words.
217
00:09:33,380 --> 00:09:35,195
Quit like a woman? What
does that even mean? What?
218
00:09:35,199 --> 00:09:37,994
Curtsy to a bottle of vodka
as it makes double your salary
219
00:09:37,999 --> 00:09:41,179
- for doing the exact same job?
- Exactly!
220
00:09:41,314 --> 00:09:45,166
And she didn't even have
the balls to tell me she sent it.
221
00:09:45,171 --> 00:09:46,714
She just Amazoned me.
222
00:09:46,719 --> 00:09:48,708
Amazoned me? Did you just make that up?
223
00:09:48,713 --> 00:09:50,330
I think so.
224
00:09:50,335 --> 00:09:53,393
Sh-She could've at least
included a little gift card.
225
00:09:53,398 --> 00:09:57,096
"Dear Miranda, I think you're
an alcoholic. Love, Charlotte."
226
00:09:57,756 --> 00:10:00,884
- And you're sure she sent it?
- Who else?
227
00:10:01,068 --> 00:10:02,885
Did you see the face she made when
228
00:10:02,890 --> 00:10:04,627
I wanted to order champagne at lunch?
229
00:10:04,632 --> 00:10:09,554
And at Che's concert, she was like,
"Miranda, that's three cocktails."
230
00:10:09,559 --> 00:10:12,463
It was a comedy concert, for God's sake!
231
00:10:12,642 --> 00:10:15,266
So, you don't think
you need to quit like a woman?
232
00:10:15,271 --> 00:10:16,271
What?!
233
00:10:16,584 --> 00:10:19,875
No! What I need to
do is send her a book,
234
00:10:19,880 --> 00:10:22,711
"How to Get the Stick Outta
Your Ass Like a Woman."
235
00:10:26,899 --> 00:10:30,269
- [CARRIE SIGHS]
- Okay, well... I need caffeine.
236
00:10:30,274 --> 00:10:32,668
You gonna drink your
coffee like a woman?
237
00:10:32,829 --> 00:10:34,498
Yeah, want one?
238
00:10:34,503 --> 00:10:37,644
No, I'm on strict no food or water
239
00:10:37,649 --> 00:10:40,626
- by mouth before your procedure orders.
- All right.
240
00:10:42,209 --> 00:10:45,079
How about a little
post-surgical recovery treat?
241
00:10:45,084 --> 00:10:46,806
[GASPS] Oh, yes, please.
242
00:10:46,811 --> 00:10:49,035
A, a diet peach Snapple and a PayDay?
243
00:10:49,040 --> 00:10:54,357
- Wow, you are kind of a handful lately.
- Sorry.
244
00:10:54,368 --> 00:10:57,448
[LIGHT MUSIC PLAYING]
245
00:11:04,658 --> 00:11:07,597
CHARLOTTE: So, I'll be
taking her home tomorrow.
246
00:11:07,602 --> 00:11:09,910
CHARLOTTE: Great. And
I have her on Thursday.
247
00:11:10,742 --> 00:11:13,128
You were a tomboy when
you were younger, right?
248
00:11:13,519 --> 00:11:16,837
Um, I think that if Luisa
were here, she would say
249
00:11:16,842 --> 00:11:20,888
we're not supposed to use
that word but, yeah, still am.
250
00:11:20,893 --> 00:11:22,933
- Let me ask you something.
- Hm?
251
00:11:23,549 --> 00:11:26,514
Did you ever wish that
you weren't a girl?
252
00:11:26,519 --> 00:11:28,896
Sure... Every time I have a mammogram.
253
00:11:29,183 --> 00:11:30,769
Why?
254
00:11:31,258 --> 00:11:33,969
I'm just, just going
through somethin' with Rose.
255
00:11:36,264 --> 00:11:38,238
Oh, hey.
256
00:11:39,742 --> 00:11:41,097
How long was I asleep?
257
00:11:41,102 --> 00:11:42,822
Uh, 10 minutes?
258
00:11:42,827 --> 00:11:43,827
Hmm.
259
00:11:45,157 --> 00:11:47,082
I think I have to pee.
260
00:11:47,678 --> 00:11:50,764
Wait... No.
261
00:11:51,444 --> 00:11:53,196
No, yeah.
262
00:11:53,825 --> 00:11:55,582
Yeah, I definitely have to pee.
263
00:11:55,587 --> 00:11:58,506
Well, uh, I'll, I'll call the nurse.
264
00:11:58,511 --> 00:12:00,256
Oh no, I don't think I can wait.
265
00:12:00,261 --> 00:12:03,761
I am, I am really feeling
that entire bucket of ice chips
266
00:12:03,766 --> 00:12:05,300
I just wolfed down.
267
00:12:05,305 --> 00:12:07,916
- Um.
- Yeah, I can't wait.
268
00:12:07,921 --> 00:12:11,392
Okay, um, well, is there
a, a, like a bedpan?
269
00:12:11,397 --> 00:12:13,972
How dare you.
270
00:12:14,628 --> 00:12:16,689
- [CHARLOTTE LAUGHING]
- Just, just lift me up.
271
00:12:16,694 --> 00:12:19,196
I've done it with the nurses.
I can do it with you two.
272
00:12:21,432 --> 00:12:24,933
- Does this hurt?
- No, I feel nothing.
273
00:12:25,472 --> 00:12:27,491
You know that whole pain
pill addiction thing?
274
00:12:27,496 --> 00:12:30,416
- Yeah.
- I totally get it.
275
00:12:31,821 --> 00:12:35,167
Oh, dang. When did you get so strong?
276
00:12:35,172 --> 00:12:37,108
Well, I read in "Parenting Magazine"
277
00:12:37,113 --> 00:12:38,424
that you should be strong enough
278
00:12:38,429 --> 00:12:39,855
to lift your heaviest child
279
00:12:39,860 --> 00:12:41,528
in case of emergency.
280
00:12:41,533 --> 00:12:43,952
- What?
- I've been doing burpees.
281
00:12:44,574 --> 00:12:45,933
[SCOFFS]
282
00:12:45,938 --> 00:12:47,045
[PHONE RINGING]
283
00:12:47,527 --> 00:12:50,287
Oh... um...
284
00:12:52,271 --> 00:12:53,621
Hello.
285
00:12:54,169 --> 00:12:59,269
No, um, Carrie is, um, indisposed
at the moment. This is...
286
00:12:59,470 --> 00:13:00,929
Rambo.
287
00:13:00,934 --> 00:13:04,722
- Why'd she call herself Rambo?
- I have no idea.
288
00:13:04,727 --> 00:13:07,669
- Can we please just get me down?
- Mm-hm, mm-hm.
289
00:13:07,674 --> 00:13:09,408
- Okay...
- Okay.
290
00:13:09,413 --> 00:13:11,086
MIRANDA: Oh, that's so lovely.
291
00:13:11,091 --> 00:13:13,450
- Oh, okay.
- MIRANDA: She'll be thrilled.
292
00:13:13,864 --> 00:13:15,372
Uh, no, you should come right up.
293
00:13:15,377 --> 00:13:18,161
Um, uh, we're in 1406.
294
00:13:18,166 --> 00:13:20,825
Ooh, wee! Ahh.
295
00:13:21,615 --> 00:13:25,508
Well, this is a very
special episode of "Friends,"
296
00:13:25,513 --> 00:13:27,760
"The One Where They
Lower Her to the Toilet."
297
00:13:28,114 --> 00:13:30,763
MIRANDA: Okay, I'll see you in a minute.
298
00:13:30,768 --> 00:13:33,411
- Oh good, more people.
- MIRANDA: It was your boss.
299
00:13:34,083 --> 00:13:36,294
- Do I have a boss?
- Che.
300
00:13:36,299 --> 00:13:38,771
She's on her way up with dinner for you.
301
00:13:38,776 --> 00:13:41,732
- How nice is that?
- No, no more people.
302
00:13:41,737 --> 00:13:45,521
And it's not she, it's they.
They are on their way up.
303
00:13:45,526 --> 00:13:47,154
Right, I knew that.
I, I wasn't thinking.
304
00:13:47,159 --> 00:13:50,810
No, you weren't because I'm
in a hospital gown on a toilet,
305
00:13:50,815 --> 00:13:52,661
and I don't need company, so please
306
00:13:52,666 --> 00:13:54,733
make that Che visit not happen.
307
00:13:54,797 --> 00:13:57,560
No, go, so I can go.
308
00:13:58,460 --> 00:14:01,114
- Okay.
- Should I go, too?
309
00:14:01,119 --> 00:14:03,386
No, sadly, you have to stay
310
00:14:03,391 --> 00:14:06,192
- to help me back up.
- Sure.
311
00:14:06,197 --> 00:14:08,224
[URINATING]
312
00:14:08,229 --> 00:14:12,130
Hmm... think it was a false alarm.
313
00:14:12,135 --> 00:14:15,411
Oh no, Carrie... you're peeing.
314
00:14:15,802 --> 00:14:16,919
I am?
315
00:14:16,924 --> 00:14:19,755
Yes! See?
316
00:14:21,362 --> 00:14:23,312
- Am I done?
- No, not yet.
317
00:14:23,317 --> 00:14:25,169
[URINATING CONTINUES]
318
00:14:25,174 --> 00:14:26,856
- I'll let you know.
- [SOFTLY]: Okay.
319
00:14:26,861 --> 00:14:30,281
And so, the doctor walks
into my hospital room
320
00:14:30,286 --> 00:14:33,872
and he announces, "Cheryl
has diverticulitis,"
321
00:14:33,877 --> 00:14:35,383
and my dad, who'd fallen asleep
322
00:14:35,388 --> 00:14:37,084
in the empty bed next to mine,
323
00:14:37,089 --> 00:14:39,957
bolts... upright, out of a dead sleep,
324
00:14:39,962 --> 00:14:42,214
and shouts, like he's
talkin' to a complete idiot,
325
00:14:42,219 --> 00:14:44,599
"Yeah, we already know
Cheryl likes girls."
326
00:14:44,873 --> 00:14:46,297
Your father thought...
327
00:14:46,302 --> 00:14:47,902
My father thought the gastroenterologist
328
00:14:47,907 --> 00:14:49,341
had diagnosed me as a dyke.
329
00:14:49,346 --> 00:14:50,575
[BOTH LAUGHING]
330
00:14:50,580 --> 00:14:53,036
It was hilarious.
331
00:14:53,041 --> 00:14:55,771
And thank God the doc
thought it was funny because
332
00:14:55,776 --> 00:14:57,216
I was basically in and out of here
333
00:14:57,221 --> 00:14:58,461
seeing him for like two years straight,
334
00:14:58,465 --> 00:15:01,106
and that could've
gotten, uh, real awkward.
335
00:15:01,462 --> 00:15:04,859
So... are y... Are
you okay now? I mean...
336
00:15:04,864 --> 00:15:07,114
Yeah, I figured out how
to manage it, yeah.
337
00:15:07,427 --> 00:15:08,862
And even though it's
about watching what I eat,
338
00:15:08,866 --> 00:15:11,169
it's also about watching what I feel...
339
00:15:11,483 --> 00:15:13,560
what I say, what I do.
340
00:15:15,429 --> 00:15:16,709
- [CHE SIGHS]
- What do you mean?
341
00:15:18,088 --> 00:15:20,263
Cheryl used to hold everything in...
342
00:15:20,268 --> 00:15:23,250
all that unhappiness, and, and shame
343
00:15:23,255 --> 00:15:25,153
just twisted up in there,
344
00:15:25,158 --> 00:15:28,039
just, yeah, making her physically
and emotionally constipated,
345
00:15:28,044 --> 00:15:31,536
just lying to herself and everyone
else, just feeling so trapped.
346
00:15:33,054 --> 00:15:38,054
But now, now I just... I let it all out.
347
00:15:38,568 --> 00:15:41,185
I tell the whole truth
on myself on stage, off.
348
00:15:41,190 --> 00:15:43,749
I feel it. I, I do it. I be it.
349
00:15:43,754 --> 00:15:45,265
So much healthier.
350
00:15:45,270 --> 00:15:47,603
I mean, I-I'm not saying I
got all of me figured out,
351
00:15:47,608 --> 00:15:49,023
but I haven't shit my
pants in three years.
352
00:15:49,027 --> 00:15:50,707
I'm sorry, I know we're eating.
353
00:15:50,903 --> 00:15:52,613
Well, I can't top that win...
354
00:15:52,618 --> 00:15:53,780
[LAUGHS]
355
00:15:53,785 --> 00:15:55,561
but, um...
356
00:15:56,056 --> 00:15:58,015
I was feeling trapped, too,
357
00:15:58,511 --> 00:16:00,836
- at, at my law firm.
- Mm-hm.
358
00:16:02,042 --> 00:16:03,585
So, I finally just quit.
359
00:16:05,475 --> 00:16:07,101
It felt like...
360
00:16:08,672 --> 00:16:10,704
like life's too short,
361
00:16:11,136 --> 00:16:13,336
- you know?
- Oh yeah.
362
00:16:15,357 --> 00:16:17,025
Good for you.
363
00:16:18,033 --> 00:16:19,704
Good for you.
364
00:16:23,492 --> 00:16:25,452
Oh, that's really spicy.
365
00:16:25,653 --> 00:16:27,606
Do you think I'd bring anything mild?
366
00:16:27,611 --> 00:16:29,405
- No, oh my God.
- [CHE LAUGHS]
367
00:16:29,410 --> 00:16:31,110
- Oh no.
- Oh.
368
00:16:36,954 --> 00:16:39,456
Okay... you get the wheelchair, Nick.
369
00:16:39,461 --> 00:16:41,610
- I'll get the precious cargo.
- NICK: Alright.
370
00:16:43,547 --> 00:16:45,299
Okay, be right back, Carrie.
371
00:16:45,304 --> 00:16:47,352
And then, I'll put
ya in your wheelchair,
372
00:16:47,357 --> 00:16:50,151
and take ya upstairs
to eat your din-din.
373
00:16:52,323 --> 00:16:55,467
As much as I die for
his Baby Jane Hudson,
374
00:16:55,472 --> 00:16:57,177
this is all very unnecessary.
375
00:16:57,182 --> 00:16:59,266
I've could've just
taken an ambulette home.
376
00:16:59,271 --> 00:17:01,014
No, it's important for him to help.
377
00:17:01,019 --> 00:17:02,972
He needs to know that
he's still included.
378
00:17:02,977 --> 00:17:07,438
It's also important that I
don't tumble out the chair
379
00:17:07,443 --> 00:17:08,819
and kiss all 10 steps.
380
00:17:08,824 --> 00:17:10,836
I'm gonna talk to him
and make sure it's safe.
381
00:17:11,316 --> 00:17:12,813
Please do.
382
00:17:12,818 --> 00:17:15,574
Anthony, Carrie is worried
you're gonna drop her.
383
00:17:15,579 --> 00:17:17,823
I'm not liftin' her.
I'll pop my hernia net.
384
00:17:17,828 --> 00:17:20,071
That's what Prince Boner here is for.
385
00:17:20,143 --> 00:17:22,282
- Are you ready?
- Ready for what?
386
00:17:22,287 --> 00:17:23,455
For me.
387
00:17:24,801 --> 00:17:25,801
Oh.
388
00:17:27,946 --> 00:17:30,735
Oh, boop-boop.
389
00:17:31,216 --> 00:17:34,298
- ANTHONY: This thing's high as a kite.
- Ah, feel like I'm flying.
390
00:17:34,303 --> 00:17:36,263
- Are you okay, Carrie?
- Never better.
391
00:17:36,268 --> 00:17:40,898
In fact, I take it back.
This was totally necessary.
392
00:17:41,782 --> 00:17:42,867
Okay.
393
00:17:42,872 --> 00:17:44,133
Oh, no, no, no, no, Jack.
394
00:17:44,138 --> 00:17:48,020
You cannot say
boundaries and girlfriends
395
00:17:48,025 --> 00:17:50,110
in the same sentence.
396
00:17:50,115 --> 00:17:53,425
My girlfriends are always there for me,
397
00:17:53,430 --> 00:17:57,493
no... matter... what.
398
00:17:57,498 --> 00:18:00,518
They are there for me.
In fact, you know what?
399
00:18:00,523 --> 00:18:02,602
I remember this time
400
00:18:02,781 --> 00:18:04,901
that my friend, Samantha Jones,
401
00:18:04,906 --> 00:18:09,129
even pulled my diaphragm
out with her bare hand
402
00:18:09,134 --> 00:18:10,501
because it got stuck.
403
00:18:11,375 --> 00:18:12,878
- [LAUGHING]
- Boundaries, Carrie.
404
00:18:12,883 --> 00:18:16,136
And I'm saying it was really stuck,
405
00:18:16,141 --> 00:18:18,509
like she was up in there for like
406
00:18:18,514 --> 00:18:21,178
- a minute.
- Oh, a whole minute! Yes!
407
00:18:21,922 --> 00:18:25,487
- I'm sweating.
- Schvitzing like a pig. Yas, queen!
408
00:18:25,492 --> 00:18:28,112
Uh, well, this podcast
409
00:18:28,117 --> 00:18:30,062
just became everything
I ever wanted it to be,
410
00:18:30,067 --> 00:18:32,476
so I just wanna thank everyone
for making this episode
411
00:18:32,481 --> 00:18:34,393
of "X, Y, and Me" possible,
412
00:18:34,398 --> 00:18:37,914
especially the doctor who prescribed
whatever painkillers Carrie's on.
413
00:18:38,301 --> 00:18:40,839
- Peace, everybody.
- Leave meeting.
414
00:18:40,844 --> 00:18:44,773
So, back to bed, or
a little walk around?
415
00:18:44,778 --> 00:18:48,156
- Uhh... bed, please.
- CHARLOTTE: Okay. [LAUGHS]
416
00:18:49,372 --> 00:18:56,117
I feel I am, finally... getting the hang
417
00:18:56,122 --> 00:18:58,799
of this podcasting thing, huh?
418
00:18:58,804 --> 00:19:00,250
Yeah!
419
00:19:00,255 --> 00:19:02,344
- Ooh!
- Ooh, ah, ah!
420
00:19:02,349 --> 00:19:04,823
- Did ya hear me?
- I did, I did.
421
00:19:04,828 --> 00:19:07,099
You sounded extremely comfortable.
422
00:19:07,104 --> 00:19:09,314
Did, did you hear what you said?
423
00:19:10,299 --> 00:19:12,172
Well, what did I say?
424
00:19:12,935 --> 00:19:14,603
You told the diaphragm story,
425
00:19:14,608 --> 00:19:16,805
and you mentioned Samantha by name.
426
00:19:18,059 --> 00:19:20,061
- I did?
- Uh-huh.
427
00:19:20,317 --> 00:19:23,240
Well... there are a lot
of Samanthas out there.
428
00:19:23,245 --> 00:19:25,523
Well, you used her last name, too.
429
00:19:25,865 --> 00:19:28,148
- Oops.
- Do you think she'll be okay with that?
430
00:19:28,153 --> 00:19:29,288
CARRIE: Uh...
431
00:19:29,781 --> 00:19:32,557
I think I'm allowed to tell the story.
432
00:19:32,562 --> 00:19:36,258
It's... my vagina... my story.
433
00:19:36,463 --> 00:19:38,964
Besides, this podcast
isn't even on her radar.
434
00:19:38,969 --> 00:19:41,742
She's off in... London.
435
00:19:41,872 --> 00:19:45,531
Yeah, but... I read the "Daily Mail."
436
00:19:45,660 --> 00:19:48,656
Oh, what... What, you
think she would be upset?
437
00:19:49,586 --> 00:19:53,133
I just think, maybe, you
should let her know. That's all.
438
00:19:53,598 --> 00:19:56,047
And, that way, if
someone else tells her,
439
00:19:56,052 --> 00:19:57,763
she's not gonna be surprised.
440
00:20:02,851 --> 00:20:05,823
I think what Robin is
trying to say is that
441
00:20:05,828 --> 00:20:08,862
a child at this age is still developing,
442
00:20:08,867 --> 00:20:10,584
and exploring who they are.
443
00:20:10,589 --> 00:20:12,742
- Do I have that right, Robin?
- Yes.
444
00:20:12,747 --> 00:20:16,180
- More or less.
- And we, we get all that.
445
00:20:16,886 --> 00:20:19,013
We're just... We're a little taken aback
446
00:20:19,018 --> 00:20:20,839
that this particular child
447
00:20:20,844 --> 00:20:24,219
was allowed to adopt a new name
448
00:20:24,224 --> 00:20:26,595
without the parents being informed.
449
00:20:26,600 --> 00:20:29,728
I honestly had no idea
that you didn't know.
450
00:20:29,733 --> 00:20:31,527
- Did you, Robin?
- I did not, Laura.
451
00:20:31,532 --> 00:20:33,297
Rock never gave us any clue that
452
00:20:33,302 --> 00:20:35,628
their parents were resistant
to their changing identity.
453
00:20:35,633 --> 00:20:38,641
Their? D-Did you just say their?
454
00:20:38,727 --> 00:20:41,211
We are not resistant, Robin.
455
00:20:41,625 --> 00:20:45,113
And according to my reading,
Laura, there is a wide range
456
00:20:45,118 --> 00:20:46,578
in this type of exploration,
457
00:20:46,583 --> 00:20:48,236
so we are just trying to figure out
458
00:20:48,241 --> 00:20:50,094
how seriously we should take this.
459
00:20:50,099 --> 00:20:54,081
This is a very supportive
environment for all children.
460
00:20:54,086 --> 00:20:59,044
Cisgender, gender
fluid, nonbinary, trans.
461
00:20:59,049 --> 00:21:02,255
Exactly. This is a journey
that we are all on together.
462
00:21:02,260 --> 00:21:04,128
We're here for you, and we can recommend
463
00:21:04,133 --> 00:21:06,598
a therapist, support
group, peer counseling,
464
00:21:06,603 --> 00:21:10,617
- whatever would help.
- Wait. Therapy? Counseling?
465
00:21:11,270 --> 00:21:13,445
What happened to the part
about a child this age
466
00:21:13,450 --> 00:21:15,768
is still growing and exploring?
467
00:21:15,773 --> 00:21:17,156
That's still true...
468
00:21:17,161 --> 00:21:19,580
but Rock is very clear,
469
00:21:19,585 --> 00:21:23,381
and in matters such as this,
we take our cues from the children.
470
00:21:23,482 --> 00:21:25,901
We're talkin' about a 12-year-old here.
471
00:21:25,906 --> 00:21:28,690
Rose would eat ice cream for
every meal if it was up to her.
472
00:21:29,058 --> 00:21:30,424
Rock.
473
00:21:35,085 --> 00:21:37,469
So, we just have to accept this now?
474
00:21:37,474 --> 00:21:39,813
This is done. They made the call.
475
00:21:40,335 --> 00:21:41,782
I don't even know if I buy it.
476
00:21:41,787 --> 00:21:43,630
Rose is a showoff, a big ham.
477
00:21:43,635 --> 00:21:46,972
Could just be for
attention... or to bug us.
478
00:21:47,054 --> 00:21:50,245
She practically gave us the finger
at her 3D ultrasound.
479
00:21:50,250 --> 00:21:52,852
[STUDENT CHOIR SINGING]
480
00:21:52,857 --> 00:21:57,547
Hearing people who aren't you
talk about your kid to you...
481
00:21:58,344 --> 00:22:01,766
it's the most humbling experience
I've ever had as a father.
482
00:22:03,042 --> 00:22:05,044
You're a wonderful father.
483
00:22:07,568 --> 00:22:09,403
[SINGING CONTINUES]
484
00:22:14,458 --> 00:22:16,251
[INTERCOM BUZZES]
485
00:22:25,013 --> 00:22:28,071
- Hello?
- [ON INTERCOM]: Hey, it's Che Diaz.
486
00:22:29,029 --> 00:22:32,711
Oh, oh, hey, it's Rambo. Come on up.
487
00:22:32,716 --> 00:22:34,009
[INTERCOM BUZZES]
488
00:22:39,662 --> 00:22:42,758
Oh... goddammit.
489
00:22:43,686 --> 00:22:44,938
[KNOCKS AT DOOR]
490
00:22:47,214 --> 00:22:51,260
- What a pleasant surprise.
- Yeah, for me, too.
491
00:22:51,726 --> 00:22:53,072
I was just stopping by with two things
492
00:22:53,076 --> 00:22:54,476
to help Carrie podcast better from home:
493
00:22:54,480 --> 00:22:57,017
a professional mic
and some aged tequila,
494
00:22:57,022 --> 00:22:58,915
also known as Keep Carrie Talking.
495
00:22:58,920 --> 00:23:01,631
Oh, come on in.
496
00:23:01,708 --> 00:23:05,520
She's, um, taking
a little opioid nap now.
497
00:23:05,525 --> 00:23:07,798
- We gotta keep it down.
- Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, I got it.
498
00:23:07,802 --> 00:23:09,467
Got it, so probably
not a great idea to ask
499
00:23:09,471 --> 00:23:12,157
- if she wants to do a shot then.
- Probably not.
500
00:23:13,686 --> 00:23:15,532
But you could ask me.
501
00:23:15,952 --> 00:23:18,872
[MIRANDA AND CHE LAUGHING]
502
00:23:22,062 --> 00:23:23,837
- Mmm.
- [CHE LAUGHS]
503
00:23:24,656 --> 00:23:27,396
- Oh.
- Here let me spark this up.
504
00:23:29,272 --> 00:23:31,024
[MIRANDA AND CHE LAUGHING]
505
00:23:31,029 --> 00:23:33,490
- Don't you remember?
- Hm?
506
00:23:33,495 --> 00:23:35,881
- I'm not a pot person.
- [LAUGHING]
507
00:23:39,495 --> 00:23:41,623
Yeah, I remember you kinda liked it.
508
00:23:41,877 --> 00:23:43,576
- [LAUGHING]
- I don't know!
509
00:23:43,927 --> 00:23:45,961
Are you always this funny?
510
00:23:45,966 --> 00:23:49,886
- Uhh, I better bounce. I got a gig.
- Oh!
511
00:23:49,891 --> 00:23:51,675
And Jersey is not
gonna make itself laugh.
512
00:23:51,680 --> 00:23:53,677
Oh, oh no, go, go, go, go, go.
513
00:23:53,682 --> 00:23:54,763
I got it, I got it, I got it, I got it.
514
00:23:54,767 --> 00:23:57,404
- [LAUGHS] I got it.
- Alright, alright, you got it!
515
00:23:57,409 --> 00:23:59,724
- Thank you.
- So...
516
00:24:00,018 --> 00:24:01,270
Ah...
517
00:24:03,279 --> 00:24:05,531
[LAUGHING]
518
00:24:05,536 --> 00:24:08,122
You know, if you
weren't in such a hurry,
519
00:24:08,284 --> 00:24:10,569
I'd ask you to shotgun me again.
520
00:24:10,574 --> 00:24:11,616
Oh!
521
00:24:11,621 --> 00:24:14,412
Well, um, at your service.
522
00:24:32,095 --> 00:24:33,722
[WHIMSICAL MUSIC]
523
00:24:33,727 --> 00:24:35,354
[SNIFFS]
524
00:24:35,359 --> 00:24:37,903
♪♪
525
00:24:37,908 --> 00:24:41,865
- Oh, oh.
- [HEAVY BREATHING]
526
00:24:43,435 --> 00:24:44,959
Oh. [GRUNTS]
527
00:24:46,083 --> 00:24:48,326
Miranda? I have to pee.
528
00:24:48,331 --> 00:24:50,274
Tell me you like it.
Tell me not to stop.
529
00:24:50,279 --> 00:24:52,610
I like it. Oh, please, Che.
530
00:24:52,958 --> 00:24:54,524
- [KISSING]
- Please don't stop.
531
00:24:54,529 --> 00:24:57,068
[MOANING]
532
00:24:57,073 --> 00:24:58,491
Miranda?
533
00:25:01,208 --> 00:25:02,375
[MOANING]
534
00:25:06,796 --> 00:25:09,716
♪♪
535
00:25:09,721 --> 00:25:11,623
[QUIETLY]: Oh, my God.
536
00:25:26,799 --> 00:25:29,260
[GASPING, MOANING]
537
00:25:31,521 --> 00:25:33,248
Can I touch you?
538
00:25:33,253 --> 00:25:35,005
[CARRIE GRUNTING]
539
00:25:35,679 --> 00:25:37,343
- MIRANDA: Oh, please, touch me.
- CHE: Yeah.
540
00:25:37,347 --> 00:25:38,623
Ow!
541
00:25:44,826 --> 00:25:49,060
Oh, oh, oh.
542
00:25:50,428 --> 00:25:52,722
[QUIETLY]: Oh my God, I have to pee.
543
00:25:55,310 --> 00:25:59,344
[LOUD MOANING]
544
00:26:07,255 --> 00:26:08,693
Ow.
545
00:26:08,698 --> 00:26:10,491
[LOUD MOANING]
546
00:26:15,991 --> 00:26:17,450
[GRUNTING, URINATING]
547
00:26:20,610 --> 00:26:23,420
That was the best feeling
I've ever had in my life.
548
00:26:27,098 --> 00:26:29,934
Oh. Oh!
549
00:26:30,329 --> 00:26:32,139
Oh, my God.
550
00:26:32,533 --> 00:26:34,151
Oh, my God.
551
00:26:35,004 --> 00:26:37,204
I really am gonna be late.
552
00:26:37,851 --> 00:26:39,376
What?
553
00:26:49,390 --> 00:26:53,250
Hey, DM me if you wanna
chill again soon, okay?
554
00:26:53,903 --> 00:26:55,609
[LAUGHS]
555
00:26:59,617 --> 00:27:01,671
- CHE: Okay, bye.
- [DOOR CLOSES]
556
00:27:08,126 --> 00:27:11,379
[PANTING]
557
00:27:15,908 --> 00:27:17,297
Maybe close the door.
558
00:27:17,302 --> 00:27:19,625
Oh, you're awake!
559
00:27:22,132 --> 00:27:24,718
Did ya have a good nap, sleepyhead?
560
00:27:24,766 --> 00:27:27,060
Oh, it was wonderful...
561
00:27:28,297 --> 00:27:31,031
up until the point where
I was woken up by my best friend
562
00:27:31,036 --> 00:27:33,156
having sex in the kitchen...
563
00:27:33,161 --> 00:27:34,968
with my boss!
564
00:27:34,973 --> 00:27:36,558
[TOILET FLUSHES]
565
00:27:36,964 --> 00:27:40,051
And I wet myself in the bed because...
566
00:27:40,056 --> 00:27:42,578
there was no one to
help me to the bathroom.
567
00:27:45,489 --> 00:27:47,338
I'm so sorry.
568
00:27:47,343 --> 00:27:49,699
Oh, let me get you out
of those wet sheets.
569
00:27:49,704 --> 00:27:51,831
I had no idea you were awake already.
570
00:27:51,836 --> 00:27:54,117
Well, I only took half a pill...
571
00:27:54,915 --> 00:27:56,812
'cause I was so out of it yesterday.
572
00:27:56,817 --> 00:27:58,188
I should've taken the whole bottle,
573
00:27:58,192 --> 00:28:00,619
so I didn't have to witness any of that.
574
00:28:00,624 --> 00:28:02,342
I... I apologize.
575
00:28:02,347 --> 00:28:04,851
I, I had no idea that you needed me.
576
00:28:05,543 --> 00:28:08,973
- What are you doing?
- I'm, I'm, I'm getting clean sheets,
577
00:28:08,978 --> 00:28:11,507
and I'm gonna get all
that stuff off of the bed...
578
00:28:11,512 --> 00:28:13,679
What are you doing?
579
00:28:15,248 --> 00:28:18,093
What was that in my kitchen?
What is going on with you?
580
00:28:18,098 --> 00:28:20,202
I, I, I don't know.
581
00:28:20,207 --> 00:28:22,471
Che brought you tequila,
582
00:28:22,476 --> 00:28:24,411
and, and we were doing
shots out in the kitchen,
583
00:28:24,416 --> 00:28:25,990
and we were trying to be quiet.
584
00:28:25,995 --> 00:28:27,159
We were trying not to wake you up.
585
00:28:27,163 --> 00:28:29,416
- Well, you did wake me up.
- I...
586
00:28:30,940 --> 00:28:34,640
And why are you doing
shots... in the afternoon?
587
00:28:34,645 --> 00:28:41,042
And my apartment reeks of pot,
and my bed is soaked in pee.
588
00:28:41,047 --> 00:28:46,155
I'm, I'm, I'm so sorry. Let me,
let me, um, change the sheets.
589
00:28:46,160 --> 00:28:47,453
It doesn't matter anymore.
590
00:28:47,458 --> 00:28:50,072
- Here.
- [GASPS] Ow! Oh, you're hurting me!
591
00:28:50,077 --> 00:28:51,724
- I said you're hurting me!
- I...
592
00:28:51,729 --> 00:28:53,686
- Just leave it alone.
- Well, you can't sit there
593
00:28:53,690 --> 00:28:55,211
in those sheets, Carrie. They're soaked.
594
00:28:55,215 --> 00:28:58,984
Yes, I know they're soaked.
I soaked them.
595
00:29:00,538 --> 00:29:03,111
You said you would be here
for me, and you weren't.
596
00:29:03,116 --> 00:29:07,871
I was alone peeing in a, in
a diet peach Snapple bottle.
597
00:29:07,876 --> 00:29:10,999
I know... I'm so sorry. [CHUCKLES]
598
00:29:11,100 --> 00:29:13,538
I guess I just had too much to drink.
599
00:29:13,926 --> 00:29:15,843
No more tequila for me.
600
00:29:17,075 --> 00:29:18,148
Maybe Charlotte was right.
601
00:29:18,153 --> 00:29:19,747
Maybe you do have a drinking problem.
602
00:29:19,752 --> 00:29:23,695
I... I don't have a drinking problem.
603
00:29:23,700 --> 00:29:26,259
I just got a little carried away.
604
00:29:26,264 --> 00:29:29,559
You are married, and you
just had sex in my kitchen.
605
00:29:30,974 --> 00:29:32,749
I'm unhappy.
606
00:29:34,624 --> 00:29:36,250
I'm unhappy.
607
00:29:37,522 --> 00:29:39,063
Okay?
608
00:29:39,818 --> 00:29:41,171
I'm trapped.
609
00:29:42,109 --> 00:29:44,561
I hate my marriage. I hate it.
610
00:29:45,296 --> 00:29:48,171
I hate my life. I, I, I hate it.
611
00:29:48,218 --> 00:29:50,763
- Since when?
- MIRANDA: Since...
612
00:29:52,593 --> 00:29:55,663
- Forever.
- No, that's not true.
613
00:29:55,668 --> 00:29:57,632
It feels like it is.
614
00:30:00,968 --> 00:30:03,220
Wh-Why didn't you say something?
615
00:30:03,225 --> 00:30:04,225
[SCOFFS]
616
00:30:05,282 --> 00:30:07,335
What would I say?
617
00:30:08,022 --> 00:30:12,741
That I don't wanna be
this... person anymore.
618
00:30:13,060 --> 00:30:15,140
That I wanna be something more.
619
00:30:15,145 --> 00:30:17,210
That this isn't enough.
620
00:30:18,149 --> 00:30:21,210
That is exactly what you should say.
621
00:30:21,861 --> 00:30:23,702
Well, then I said it.
622
00:30:26,978 --> 00:30:30,171
Please, can I change the sheets now?
623
00:30:31,335 --> 00:30:33,773
I think you should
look into the drinking.
624
00:30:33,778 --> 00:30:36,718
I am drinking too much, yes.
625
00:30:37,669 --> 00:30:40,390
We all were in the pandemic, and...
626
00:30:40,844 --> 00:30:42,968
I guess I just kept going.
627
00:30:44,096 --> 00:30:47,601
But I don't have a problem, and
I don't need a book from Charlotte.
628
00:30:49,034 --> 00:30:51,507
I know me, Carrie.
629
00:30:52,112 --> 00:30:53,835
If I really thought I had a problem,
630
00:30:53,840 --> 00:30:56,413
I would quit instantly.
631
00:31:00,011 --> 00:31:02,671
And what about that other
activity in the kitchen?
632
00:31:04,136 --> 00:31:06,116
I don't know if I want to quit that.
633
00:31:07,224 --> 00:31:09,468
I-I've never felt like that...
634
00:31:10,066 --> 00:31:11,359
in my life.
635
00:31:15,393 --> 00:31:18,393
[UPBEAT MUSIC PLAYING]
636
00:31:32,449 --> 00:31:35,460
_
637
00:31:35,476 --> 00:31:38,476
_
638
00:31:38,481 --> 00:31:40,024
[SENDS TEXT]
639
00:31:47,400 --> 00:31:48,921
_
640
00:31:54,921 --> 00:31:57,202
_
641
00:32:03,437 --> 00:32:06,171
_
642
00:32:11,267 --> 00:32:14,413
_
643
00:32:21,398 --> 00:32:26,085
♪♪
644
00:32:33,327 --> 00:32:35,199
[ON PHONE]: When I tell people
I'm attracted to all genders,
645
00:32:35,203 --> 00:32:37,726
someone will always ask,
"Do you have a preference?"
646
00:32:37,731 --> 00:32:39,616
And the truth is, I do.
647
00:32:39,621 --> 00:32:41,991
I prefer them not to be assholes.
648
00:32:41,996 --> 00:32:43,447
[LAUGHING]
649
00:32:43,452 --> 00:32:45,866
And it's always a surprise, right?
650
00:32:46,089 --> 00:32:47,705
Nothing you can predict.
651
00:32:47,710 --> 00:32:49,437
It's not like a werewolf situation.
652
00:32:49,442 --> 00:32:51,027
Definitely not as easy as full moon,
653
00:32:51,032 --> 00:32:52,298
"Oh, you're really a dick."
654
00:32:52,303 --> 00:32:54,889
I mean, there's no
silver bullet for dating.
655
00:32:54,894 --> 00:32:57,188
Last year, I dated this
woman who was transitioning,
656
00:32:57,193 --> 00:33:00,335
transitioning from
nice person to asshole.
657
00:33:01,421 --> 00:33:02,477
- [TEXT CHIMES]
- A lot of people cannot
658
00:33:02,481 --> 00:33:04,643
comprehend the concept
of me being polyamorous.
659
00:33:04,760 --> 00:33:06,409
When I break that news to them...
660
00:33:07,433 --> 00:33:11,339
_
661
00:33:12,760 --> 00:33:16,058
Right... What else did I drunk order?
662
00:33:20,229 --> 00:33:23,107
[LIGHT MUSIC PLAYING]
663
00:33:39,767 --> 00:33:41,352
[CAP CLATTERS]
664
00:33:43,714 --> 00:33:45,573
- [PHONE RINGS]
- Active Way Physical Therapy.
665
00:33:46,106 --> 00:33:49,610
So, Harry thinks the
school is overreacting...
666
00:33:49,615 --> 00:33:51,042
but I don't know.
667
00:33:51,268 --> 00:33:53,753
What if we underreact?
668
00:33:53,758 --> 00:33:56,214
Oh, Charlotte, when,
669
00:33:56,382 --> 00:33:59,343
when have you ever
underreacted to anything?
670
00:33:59,348 --> 00:34:02,006
But I can kind of see Harry's point.
671
00:34:02,011 --> 00:34:04,198
I mean, is this just a 12-year-old
672
00:34:04,203 --> 00:34:05,803
who's caught up in the moment?
673
00:34:05,808 --> 00:34:07,652
You know, when I was in seventh grade,
674
00:34:07,657 --> 00:34:09,225
all my friends got a perm.
675
00:34:09,230 --> 00:34:11,464
So, I got a perm.
676
00:34:11,989 --> 00:34:15,441
I mean, is this just right now?
677
00:34:16,386 --> 00:34:18,471
Or is this her... life?
678
00:34:19,615 --> 00:34:22,013
I just... I, I, I have
to do the right thing.
679
00:34:22,018 --> 00:34:23,603
And you will.
680
00:34:25,355 --> 00:34:26,851
I hope you understand
681
00:34:26,856 --> 00:34:29,909
that I will need to see
a photo of that perm.
682
00:34:30,839 --> 00:34:32,757
I told Harry I think...
683
00:34:32,762 --> 00:34:35,113
- we should just listen...
- Mm-hm.
684
00:34:35,118 --> 00:34:38,504
And follow her... Their lead.
685
00:34:39,155 --> 00:34:40,316
[SIGHS]
686
00:34:40,652 --> 00:34:43,039
But every time I open my mouth,
687
00:34:43,044 --> 00:34:46,209
I just want to say Rose, not Rock.
688
00:34:46,862 --> 00:34:48,525
[EXHALES]
689
00:34:51,425 --> 00:34:53,652
I don't know what's gonna happen.
690
00:34:53,657 --> 00:34:55,826
But I know that kid is amazing.
691
00:34:59,735 --> 00:35:05,198
And just remember, a rose by any
other name would smell as sweet.
692
00:35:09,752 --> 00:35:10,878
Carrie.
693
00:35:11,979 --> 00:35:15,206
I'm Travis, the physical therapist.
694
00:35:15,605 --> 00:35:17,136
Shall we go back?
695
00:35:17,968 --> 00:35:19,691
Yeah.
696
00:35:20,965 --> 00:35:22,558
Shall I help you up?
697
00:35:23,310 --> 00:35:24,792
Yeah.
698
00:35:26,756 --> 00:35:28,008
[GRUNTS]
699
00:35:29,322 --> 00:35:31,693
So, I have the philosophy
that PT works best
700
00:35:31,698 --> 00:35:33,644
when we're working towards a goal.
701
00:35:34,432 --> 00:35:36,642
Do you have a long-term physical goal?
702
00:35:36,843 --> 00:35:39,519
- To get back into heels.
- [LAUGHS]
703
00:35:40,884 --> 00:35:42,093
Oh, uh, any others?
704
00:35:42,098 --> 00:35:46,269
Just the one. To get back into heels.
705
00:35:47,724 --> 00:35:50,975
Okay, uh, so you change,
and then, I'll be back in
706
00:35:50,980 --> 00:35:53,316
and we'll start with a deep
lower body massage.
707
00:35:53,321 --> 00:35:55,394
- Does that sound good?
- Yeah.
708
00:35:55,970 --> 00:35:56,970
Great.
709
00:36:00,090 --> 00:36:03,842
Yes, I'd like to book my
next session with Travis.
710
00:36:03,847 --> 00:36:06,920
Actually, your insurance
doesn't cover Travis.
711
00:36:06,925 --> 00:36:09,620
The system didn't catch it
before but we've rectified it,
712
00:36:09,625 --> 00:36:12,503
so all of your future
appointments will be with
713
00:36:12,906 --> 00:36:14,456
Emmett here.
714
00:36:17,792 --> 00:36:19,468
Hi, I'm ready for you, Miss Johnson.
715
00:36:19,473 --> 00:36:22,089
I'm willing to pay out of pocket.
716
00:36:22,511 --> 00:36:24,763
Okay... Travis then.
717
00:36:24,768 --> 00:36:26,137
Okay, yeah.
718
00:36:26,142 --> 00:36:28,277
["KEEP MOVING" BY JUNGLE PLAYING]
719
00:36:28,282 --> 00:36:31,679
♪ If you're coming like that, then
it's been about time, you know ♪
720
00:36:31,684 --> 00:36:33,761
CARRIE: And just like that,
721
00:36:33,766 --> 00:36:36,853
three months later, I was back in heels.
722
00:36:36,858 --> 00:36:38,733
♪ If you change ♪
723
00:36:38,738 --> 00:36:41,253
♪ Keep moving, keep moving ♪
724
00:36:41,258 --> 00:36:44,258
Synced & corrected by QueenMaddie
www.addic7ed.com
53156
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