All language subtitles for About My Father (2023) whatsapp me for your donation@+62895391015114

af Afrikaans
ak Akan
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bem Bemba
bn Bengali
bh Bihari
bs Bosnian
br Breton
bg Bulgarian
km Cambodian
ca Catalan
chr Cherokee
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
ee Ewe
fo Faroese
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gaa Ga
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gn Guarani
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian Download
ia Interlingua
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
rw Kinyarwanda
rn Kirundi
kg Kongo
ko Korean
kri Krio (Sierra Leone)
ku Kurdish
ckb Kurdish (Soranî)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Laothian
la Latin
lv Latvian
ln Lingala
lt Lithuanian
loz Lozi
lg Luganda
ach Luo
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mfe Mauritian Creole
mo Moldavian
mn Mongolian
sr-ME Montenegrin
ne Nepali
pcm Nigerian Pidgin
nso Northern Sotho
no Norwegian
nn Norwegian (Nynorsk)
oc Occitan
or Oriya
om Oromo
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt-BR Portuguese (Brazil)
pt-PT Portuguese (Portugal)
pa Punjabi
qu Quechua
ro Romanian
rm Romansh
nyn Runyakitara
ru Russian
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
sh Serbo-Croatian
st Sesotho
tn Setswana
crs Seychellois Creole
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhalese
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish
es-419 Spanish (Latin American)
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
tt Tatar
te Telugu
th Thai
ti Tigrinya
to Tonga
lua Tshiluba
tum Tumbuka
tr Turkish
tk Turkmen
tw Twi
ug Uighur
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
wo Wolof
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:07,000 Downloaded from HQCINEMAS.COM 2 00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:13,000 Official HQCINEMAS movies site: HQCINEMAS.COM 3 00:00:30,030 --> 00:00:32,423 My name is Sebastian. And, yeah, that's me. 4 00:00:32,423 --> 00:00:35,209 When my mother used to dress me for pre-school, 5 00:00:35,209 --> 00:00:38,386 like I was going to Studio 54. 6 00:00:38,386 --> 00:00:42,433 Like most American stories, mine starts a long time ago 7 00:00:42,433 --> 00:00:43,652 on another continent. 8 00:00:44,870 --> 00:00:49,092 Specifically, the magical island of Sicilia. 9 00:00:50,963 --> 00:00:52,443 A lot of folks like to call Sicily 10 00:00:52,443 --> 00:00:54,880 the big ball in front of the boot of Italy, 11 00:00:54,880 --> 00:00:56,317 which makes sense 12 00:00:56,317 --> 00:00:57,883 'cause the world's been trying to kick our ass 13 00:00:57,883 --> 00:00:59,972 since the dawn of time. 14 00:01:01,409 --> 00:01:03,367 For generations, my people have been 15 00:01:03,367 --> 00:01:05,543 threatened by wars, 16 00:01:05,543 --> 00:01:07,067 volcanoes, 17 00:01:07,067 --> 00:01:10,070 and testicle-crushing Speedos. 18 00:01:11,158 --> 00:01:12,768 But we survived it all 19 00:01:12,768 --> 00:01:15,336 through one unstoppable force. 20 00:01:15,858 --> 00:01:17,468 Family. 21 00:01:17,468 --> 00:01:22,256 These are actual photos of my Sicilian ancestors. 22 00:01:22,256 --> 00:01:25,215 Note the signature Maniscalco look. 23 00:01:25,215 --> 00:01:29,306 With the curved spines and the resting bitch face, 24 00:01:29,306 --> 00:01:32,701 like a bunch of pissed-off candy canes. 25 00:01:32,701 --> 00:01:35,138 Over the past few centuries, 26 00:01:35,138 --> 00:01:40,143 these proud hunchback men have operated with one goal. 27 00:01:40,143 --> 00:01:41,449 Do everything you can... 28 00:01:41,449 --> 00:01:43,190 ...to give your kids a better life 29 00:01:43,190 --> 00:01:45,061 than the one you had. 30 00:01:45,061 --> 00:01:47,150 For my father, this meant leaving 31 00:01:47,150 --> 00:01:49,674 his beloved Sicily for Chicago. 32 00:01:49,674 --> 00:01:52,024 So he and my mother could give me opportunities 33 00:01:52,024 --> 00:01:53,113 they never got. 34 00:01:53,113 --> 00:01:55,463 Like shoveling snow. 35 00:01:55,463 --> 00:01:58,727 Growing a beautiful mullet. 36 00:01:58,727 --> 00:02:00,207 And going to the prom 37 00:02:00,207 --> 00:02:01,730 looking like a pit boss. 38 00:02:03,297 --> 00:02:05,212 Growing up, my father busted his hump 39 00:02:05,212 --> 00:02:07,214 to instill in me certain rules 40 00:02:07,214 --> 00:02:09,868 of how a man should operate. 41 00:02:09,868 --> 00:02:13,220 Like, if you're awake, you should be workin'. 42 00:02:13,220 --> 00:02:14,743 Hey, how's the pressure, Mrs. Marinelli? 43 00:02:14,743 --> 00:02:16,440 Harder. 44 00:02:16,440 --> 00:02:17,963 You got to get in there, son. I don't pay you by the hour, 45 00:02:17,963 --> 00:02:19,487 I pay you by the moan, capisce? 46 00:02:22,011 --> 00:02:23,491 Guy with the ponytail, 47 00:02:23,491 --> 00:02:24,927 that's my dad. 48 00:02:24,927 --> 00:02:27,364 Did I mention he owns a salon? 49 00:02:27,364 --> 00:02:30,846 The man comes from a long line of Sicilian hairstylists. 50 00:02:30,846 --> 00:02:33,022 And don't you dare call him a barber. 51 00:02:33,022 --> 00:02:35,329 This man doesn't just cut hair, 52 00:02:35,329 --> 00:02:37,505 he creates styles. 53 00:02:37,505 --> 00:02:39,507 Salvo, 54 00:02:39,507 --> 00:02:40,899 it's beautiful. 55 00:02:40,899 --> 00:02:42,901 See? I told you you had cheekbones under there. 56 00:02:42,901 --> 00:02:45,426 You just needed Michelangelo to dig them out. 57 00:02:45,426 --> 00:02:48,124 Child labor laws were definitely broken. 58 00:02:48,124 --> 00:02:49,430 But on the bright side, 59 00:02:49,430 --> 00:02:52,172 I had the most realistic Chewbacca costume 60 00:02:52,172 --> 00:02:53,999 in the history of Halloween. 61 00:02:56,350 --> 00:02:58,917 He taught me to always save your money. 62 00:02:58,917 --> 00:03:00,484 No apps, no dessert. 63 00:03:00,484 --> 00:03:01,833 And if you don't finish your main, 64 00:03:01,833 --> 00:03:03,618 you're paying for your own birthday dinner. 65 00:03:07,187 --> 00:03:09,450 And to be resourceful. 66 00:03:09,450 --> 00:03:10,886 You wanted me to buy you a skateboard, 67 00:03:10,886 --> 00:03:12,279 I built you one instead. 68 00:03:14,106 --> 00:03:15,107 Next year, I'm gonna build you 69 00:03:15,107 --> 00:03:17,197 one of those Nintendos. 70 00:03:17,197 --> 00:03:19,329 But one exception, cologne. 71 00:03:19,329 --> 00:03:23,377 Never cheap out on your signature scent. 72 00:03:23,377 --> 00:03:26,902 At bedtime, our house smelled like an Uber in Las Vegas. 73 00:03:30,253 --> 00:03:32,734 The only time I saw my father smile is 74 00:03:32,734 --> 00:03:33,996 when we did the chicken dance 75 00:03:33,996 --> 00:03:35,084 for my mother. 76 00:03:37,565 --> 00:03:40,002 To me, this man was a God. 77 00:03:41,482 --> 00:03:43,701 And it was all working out great 78 00:03:43,701 --> 00:03:45,573 until I grew up, 79 00:03:45,573 --> 00:03:49,707 and fell for someone who was my complete opposite. 80 00:03:49,707 --> 00:03:52,232 Her name was Ellie. 81 00:03:53,189 --> 00:03:55,539 I mean, look at this girl. 82 00:03:55,539 --> 00:03:59,717 The style, the positivity, 83 00:03:59,717 --> 00:04:01,850 personality. 84 00:04:01,850 --> 00:04:04,722 Yeah, this was my dream woman. 85 00:04:08,117 --> 00:04:09,249 Sebastian! 86 00:04:10,772 --> 00:04:12,904 Ah! I'm so sorry I'm late. 87 00:04:12,904 --> 00:04:15,342 This guy's charging $15 for valet. 88 00:04:15,342 --> 00:04:17,126 So I parked it nine blocks away. 89 00:04:17,126 --> 00:04:19,041 Wait a minute, if you parked that far away, 90 00:04:19,041 --> 00:04:21,043 how are you so dry? You sweat just getting the mail. 91 00:04:21,043 --> 00:04:23,219 It's the Fendi, babe. 92 00:04:23,219 --> 00:04:25,352 It's wicking away. 93 00:04:26,396 --> 00:04:28,050 - You want one? - Yeah. 94 00:04:28,050 --> 00:04:29,486 You know, everyone said I should serve 95 00:04:29,486 --> 00:04:31,749 fancy food at my opening, and I was like, 96 00:04:31,749 --> 00:04:36,537 "Name one person that doesn't like a hot dog." 97 00:04:36,537 --> 00:04:39,279 And get this, she's an artist. 98 00:04:39,279 --> 00:04:41,019 I mean, growing up, I wasn't even allowed 99 00:04:41,019 --> 00:04:42,543 to do it as a hobby. 100 00:04:42,543 --> 00:04:43,631 So how's the show going? 101 00:04:43,631 --> 00:04:46,068 Oh, my God! Freaking amazing. 102 00:04:46,068 --> 00:04:48,113 All my pieces sold out in like 15 minutes. 103 00:04:48,113 --> 00:04:50,594 - Babe, that's incredible. - I know, right? 104 00:04:50,594 --> 00:04:52,988 I mean, most of them went to this big decorator, 105 00:04:52,988 --> 00:04:56,296 but they have clients all over the world, so I'm not complaining. 106 00:04:56,296 --> 00:04:57,906 Well, you shouldn't. 107 00:04:57,906 --> 00:04:59,734 Especially because they look, kind of like, you know... 108 00:05:00,865 --> 00:05:02,432 Vaginas? 109 00:05:02,432 --> 00:05:05,566 Well, you know, if you just hang them horizontally, 110 00:05:08,046 --> 00:05:09,657 they kind of look like sunsets. 111 00:05:09,657 --> 00:05:11,049 Oh, yeah. 112 00:05:11,049 --> 00:05:12,312 Right. 113 00:05:12,312 --> 00:05:13,661 Since the day I met her, 114 00:05:13,661 --> 00:05:15,315 she's been opening my eyes 115 00:05:15,315 --> 00:05:18,100 to all kinds of new experiences. 116 00:05:18,100 --> 00:05:19,493 Like naps. 117 00:05:19,493 --> 00:05:21,408 Weird. 118 00:05:21,408 --> 00:05:23,758 The sun's coming through the drapes. 119 00:05:23,758 --> 00:05:25,412 And beauty treatments. 120 00:05:25,412 --> 00:05:27,762 Hey, hot stuff. Looking good. 121 00:05:27,762 --> 00:05:28,850 Wait, are you mad? 122 00:05:28,850 --> 00:05:30,330 Yeah. 123 00:05:30,330 --> 00:05:32,897 That it took 42 years to discover avocado masks. 124 00:05:32,897 --> 00:05:34,856 And last but not least, 125 00:05:34,856 --> 00:05:35,900 smiling. 126 00:05:37,685 --> 00:05:39,643 Okay. Um... 127 00:05:39,643 --> 00:05:41,384 - It's not natural. - That's... 128 00:05:41,384 --> 00:05:44,387 That's not particularly natural. But you know what I think? 129 00:05:44,387 --> 00:05:47,129 I think we just have to build these facial muscles, 130 00:05:47,129 --> 00:05:48,652 so you just got to practice. 131 00:05:48,652 --> 00:05:50,698 Look at that. Now try it. 132 00:05:50,698 --> 00:05:52,395 I don't... You look great. 133 00:05:55,485 --> 00:05:58,706 Yeah, life with Ellie was pretty perfect. 134 00:06:01,926 --> 00:06:03,275 I don't think I could participate. 135 00:06:03,275 --> 00:06:04,451 That's just ridiculous. 136 00:06:04,451 --> 00:06:05,930 - You promised. - Oh, come on! 137 00:06:05,930 --> 00:06:08,759 A public wedding proposal? It's embarrassing. 138 00:06:08,759 --> 00:06:10,326 I think it's sweet. 139 00:06:10,326 --> 00:06:12,110 When I propose to you, 140 00:06:12,110 --> 00:06:13,547 it's going to be intimate. 141 00:06:13,547 --> 00:06:15,113 - Hmm. - Just you and me, 142 00:06:15,113 --> 00:06:16,463 the way it should be. 143 00:06:16,463 --> 00:06:18,116 - Hmm. - No one else. 144 00:06:18,116 --> 00:06:19,988 Used to be, "If I propose." 145 00:06:19,988 --> 00:06:21,816 You just said, "When I propose." 146 00:06:21,816 --> 00:06:23,731 Okay, babe, it's just... I'm aggravated. 147 00:06:23,731 --> 00:06:25,820 Words are just flying out of my mouth. 148 00:06:25,820 --> 00:06:26,908 Well, just so you know, 149 00:06:26,908 --> 00:06:29,171 the only way I will say yes, 150 00:06:29,171 --> 00:06:30,607 is if there is some element 151 00:06:30,607 --> 00:06:32,304 of public humiliation involved. 152 00:06:32,304 --> 00:06:33,871 - Oh, well. - Get ready. 153 00:06:33,871 --> 00:06:35,830 You might as well just end the relationship right now, 154 00:06:35,830 --> 00:06:38,180 because we ain't - doing that. - Oh, we're not? 155 00:06:38,180 --> 00:06:39,529 I'm not - doing this. - But you're 156 00:06:39,529 --> 00:06:41,052 - such a good dancer. - Look at these people. 157 00:06:41,052 --> 00:06:44,360 Uh, Ellie? I kind of need your help right now. 158 00:06:44,360 --> 00:06:46,971 Right, dude, we are in! 159 00:06:52,455 --> 00:06:55,110 The truth was, I had every intention 160 00:06:55,110 --> 00:06:57,112 of asking Ellie to marry me. 161 00:06:58,374 --> 00:07:02,422 I just needed the right place and time. 162 00:07:06,469 --> 00:07:07,688 I see you, guy. 163 00:07:07,688 --> 00:07:09,690 I see you. 164 00:07:09,690 --> 00:07:12,344 All right? Pick it up. 165 00:07:12,344 --> 00:07:14,956 Thank you. - Take a walk. Sebastian. 166 00:07:14,956 --> 00:07:16,958 I'm on the phone with my parents and get this, 167 00:07:18,829 --> 00:07:20,527 they're inviting us 168 00:07:21,528 --> 00:07:22,703 out to the summer place 169 00:07:22,703 --> 00:07:25,270 for the big 4th-of-July weekend. 170 00:07:25,270 --> 00:07:27,664 Babe, did you - just say "us"? - Us. 171 00:07:27,664 --> 00:07:28,970 I thought this trip was for family only. 172 00:07:28,970 --> 00:07:30,972 I know! I mean, I'm so torn 173 00:07:30,972 --> 00:07:33,061 between thinking this is great news, 174 00:07:33,061 --> 00:07:34,149 or that I might be dragging you 175 00:07:34,149 --> 00:07:36,107 into an Italian version of Get Out. 176 00:07:36,107 --> 00:07:37,805 I'm not sure. Oh, uh, uh... 177 00:07:37,805 --> 00:07:40,851 Yes, yes, yes, Mother, yes. I'm asking him right now, 178 00:07:40,851 --> 00:07:42,287 please hold. 179 00:07:42,287 --> 00:07:43,593 What do you think? 180 00:07:46,944 --> 00:07:49,730 Yeah. 181 00:07:49,730 --> 00:07:52,080 He's man-crying. That means it's a yes. 182 00:07:52,080 --> 00:07:53,908 - Yes! - I love you. 183 00:07:54,691 --> 00:07:55,910 I'm gonna get you tissues. 184 00:07:55,910 --> 00:07:58,565 I love you. I'm so excited. 185 00:07:58,565 --> 00:08:01,524 So, yeah, I'm a big crier. 186 00:08:01,524 --> 00:08:04,614 I love to just marinate in my own tears. 187 00:08:04,614 --> 00:08:05,920 Mmm. 188 00:08:05,920 --> 00:08:07,922 But this was a huge deal. 189 00:08:09,750 --> 00:08:12,666 Ellie's summer place wasn't just the perfect spot 190 00:08:12,666 --> 00:08:14,232 to propose. 191 00:08:14,232 --> 00:08:17,714 It also meant her family was starting to accept me. 192 00:08:17,714 --> 00:08:20,282 Which was amazing, because... 193 00:08:20,282 --> 00:08:22,545 How do I put this eloquently? 194 00:08:22,545 --> 00:08:27,419 These people got class up the ass. 195 00:08:30,205 --> 00:08:34,296 I mean, look at these people with their perfect postures, 196 00:08:34,296 --> 00:08:36,516 and their perfect teeth. 197 00:08:36,516 --> 00:08:38,561 Even their dog went to better schools 198 00:08:38,561 --> 00:08:40,041 than I did. 199 00:08:40,041 --> 00:08:41,433 I was intimidated, 200 00:08:41,433 --> 00:08:43,174 which really didn't make any sense 201 00:08:43,174 --> 00:08:47,831 as their story was also an immigrant story. 202 00:08:47,831 --> 00:08:52,140 For some reason, theirs was considered more respectable, 203 00:08:52,140 --> 00:08:54,708 as it started 400 years ago. 204 00:08:54,708 --> 00:08:56,753 Now, this is an actual painting 205 00:08:56,753 --> 00:08:59,060 of Ellie's 10th great grandfather, 206 00:08:59,060 --> 00:09:03,107 William Love Collins, taking his family to America, 207 00:09:03,107 --> 00:09:06,328 on a little boat called the Mayflower. 208 00:09:06,328 --> 00:09:09,157 You got it. That one. 209 00:09:09,157 --> 00:09:12,595 So while my father came to chase the American dream, 210 00:09:12,595 --> 00:09:15,685 the Collins were the American dream, 211 00:09:15,685 --> 00:09:18,079 all the way up to Ellie's dad. 212 00:09:18,079 --> 00:09:20,734 William Love Collins XII. 213 00:09:20,734 --> 00:09:22,431 Only Italian guys I knew 214 00:09:22,431 --> 00:09:24,564 with Roman numerals after their names... 215 00:09:24,564 --> 00:09:26,261 ...are popes, 216 00:09:26,261 --> 00:09:29,220 and Rocky Balboa. 217 00:09:29,220 --> 00:09:31,092 Her dad is the chairman and CEO 218 00:09:31,092 --> 00:09:33,529 of the luxurious Collins Hotel Group, 219 00:09:33,529 --> 00:09:35,009 which was awkward, 220 00:09:35,009 --> 00:09:37,707 as I happened to run a cool new boutique hotel, 221 00:09:37,707 --> 00:09:40,188 which was stealing a lot of his Chicago business. 222 00:09:40,971 --> 00:09:42,190 Bottom line? 223 00:09:42,190 --> 00:09:45,628 His baby girl was dating the enemy. 224 00:09:45,628 --> 00:09:48,979 But Bill wasn't even the scary parent. 225 00:09:48,979 --> 00:09:51,547 That honor belonged to Ellie's mother, 226 00:09:51,547 --> 00:09:56,421 whose actual birth name was Tigger MacArthur. 227 00:09:56,421 --> 00:09:59,686 Anna, darling, you don't know anything about me. 228 00:09:59,686 --> 00:10:02,253 And this kitty's got claws. 229 00:10:02,253 --> 00:10:04,342 As an Ivy League grad-turned-senator 230 00:10:04,342 --> 00:10:05,822 for the state of Maryland, 231 00:10:05,822 --> 00:10:07,868 it took her a long time 232 00:10:07,868 --> 00:10:11,349 to wrap her mind around her beloved daughter dating 233 00:10:11,349 --> 00:10:14,265 some working-class hotel manager. 234 00:10:14,265 --> 00:10:16,659 How could I be anti-immigrant 235 00:10:16,659 --> 00:10:19,836 when my daughter is dating the son of one? 236 00:10:20,924 --> 00:10:22,404 But this invite meant 237 00:10:22,404 --> 00:10:25,320 I was finally breaking through. 238 00:10:25,320 --> 00:10:27,931 A holiday weekend was my chance to charm 239 00:10:27,931 --> 00:10:30,542 the pleated pants off these people. 240 00:10:30,542 --> 00:10:32,893 And if all went well, 241 00:10:32,893 --> 00:10:36,026 I could ask for their daughter's hand in marriage. 242 00:10:37,898 --> 00:10:40,814 So, I had the girl I wanted to marry, 243 00:10:40,814 --> 00:10:43,643 the perfect spot to propose to her, 244 00:10:43,643 --> 00:10:46,341 and now, I just needed the ring, 245 00:10:46,341 --> 00:10:48,648 which should have been easy to get. 246 00:10:48,648 --> 00:10:49,736 Oh, come on. What do you mean 247 00:10:49,736 --> 00:10:51,520 you're not gonna give me the ring? 248 00:10:51,520 --> 00:10:53,609 Grandma left it for me to use when I'm ready to get married. 249 00:10:53,609 --> 00:10:55,350 Uh, your grandmother left it with me 250 00:10:55,350 --> 00:10:56,960 to make sure you just don't give it away 251 00:10:56,960 --> 00:10:59,136 to some puttana, that's what your grandmother did. 252 00:10:59,136 --> 00:11:01,225 Can you come out of the garden so we can talk about this? 253 00:11:03,924 --> 00:11:06,709 They're back. They're back there messing with my gagootz. 254 00:11:06,709 --> 00:11:08,668 Forget the gagootz. 255 00:11:08,668 --> 00:11:10,757 Dad, the ring, - can I have it? - Look at that. 256 00:11:12,193 --> 00:11:13,498 You know, I don't know about this girl, 257 00:11:13,498 --> 00:11:15,239 I gotta tell ya. I'm not sure about her. 258 00:11:15,239 --> 00:11:16,937 She put her feet up on my coffee table, 259 00:11:16,937 --> 00:11:18,373 I don't know... You put your feet up 260 00:11:18,373 --> 00:11:19,548 on your - coffee table. - Yeah, my coffee table, 261 00:11:19,548 --> 00:11:20,723 my feet. 262 00:11:20,723 --> 00:11:22,116 What do you think is this? 263 00:11:22,116 --> 00:11:24,466 - What bites? A raccoon? - Ants? Is it an ant? 264 00:11:25,728 --> 00:11:27,338 An ant. You got to to be kidding me. 265 00:11:28,775 --> 00:11:30,690 Let's see. Okay, here we are. 266 00:11:30,690 --> 00:11:32,909 Look at them. That's a possum. 267 00:11:32,909 --> 00:11:35,216 Possum. They're dead. 268 00:11:35,216 --> 00:11:36,739 - Dead, gone. - Oh, no. Come on, 269 00:11:36,739 --> 00:11:38,741 with the thing again... Gone from this earth. 270 00:11:38,741 --> 00:11:41,004 - Instant death. - Just set a trap. 271 00:11:41,004 --> 00:11:42,484 Yeah, I'm gonna set a trap. 272 00:11:42,484 --> 00:11:44,181 I'm gonna get my antifreeze, my little... 273 00:11:44,181 --> 00:11:45,835 When I was a kid, 274 00:11:45,835 --> 00:11:48,359 I thought everything my dad did was normal. 275 00:11:49,534 --> 00:11:51,754 If some string beans went missing, 276 00:11:51,754 --> 00:11:55,018 I'd wake up to a yard full of poisoned squirrels, 277 00:11:55,018 --> 00:11:57,194 birds, chipmunks, 278 00:11:57,194 --> 00:11:58,456 basically anything 279 00:11:58,456 --> 00:12:00,850 that ever helped Cinderella get dressed, 280 00:12:00,850 --> 00:12:03,505 murdered in our backyard. 281 00:12:03,505 --> 00:12:05,246 Come on, Dad. Could you just admit 282 00:12:05,246 --> 00:12:07,378 that Ellie's not some puttana? 283 00:12:07,378 --> 00:12:08,815 I love her, you love her. 284 00:12:08,815 --> 00:12:11,600 Just give me the ring so I can propose. 285 00:12:11,600 --> 00:12:12,906 You really serious about this? 286 00:12:12,906 --> 00:12:14,472 Yeah, Dad, she's the one. 287 00:12:14,472 --> 00:12:15,735 - She's the one? - Yeah. 288 00:12:15,735 --> 00:12:16,997 Okay, son, you know what I'm gonna do? 289 00:12:16,997 --> 00:12:18,520 I'm gonna give - you the ring. - Thank you. 290 00:12:18,520 --> 00:12:20,740 But first I gotta meet her family. 291 00:12:20,740 --> 00:12:22,437 - What? Why? - Why? 292 00:12:25,266 --> 00:12:27,094 - That's why. - What the hell does that mean? 293 00:12:27,094 --> 00:12:28,965 You got no respect for your roots. 294 00:12:28,965 --> 00:12:30,358 I mean, what are you talking about? 295 00:12:30,358 --> 00:12:31,533 You don't eat the fruit till you make sure 296 00:12:31,533 --> 00:12:32,839 the tree ain't sick. 297 00:12:32,839 --> 00:12:34,362 And per tradition, I need to look 298 00:12:34,362 --> 00:12:35,929 at the mother and the father's eyes. 299 00:12:35,929 --> 00:12:37,452 I need to look them in the eyes 300 00:12:37,452 --> 00:12:38,975 to make sure there's no rot. 301 00:12:38,975 --> 00:12:40,585 Because there could be rot. - Not that there is. - What? 302 00:12:40,585 --> 00:12:42,805 - But there could be. - There's no rot in this family, Dad. 303 00:12:42,805 --> 00:12:44,154 - You never know. - They're classy. 304 00:12:44,154 --> 00:12:45,939 - You never know. - Come on, they're classy people. 305 00:12:45,939 --> 00:12:47,288 Oh, yeah. 306 00:12:47,288 --> 00:12:48,724 The fancier, the dirtier. 307 00:12:48,724 --> 00:12:50,030 You never know what's going on. 308 00:12:50,030 --> 00:12:51,727 Plus, they don't live anywhere near here. 309 00:12:51,727 --> 00:12:53,337 So let me just put you on a FaceTime, 310 00:12:53,337 --> 00:12:55,165 so you could taste test them over the phone. 311 00:12:55,165 --> 00:12:58,168 Hey, I'm not doing FaceTime. This is an important moment. 312 00:12:58,168 --> 00:12:59,953 FaceTime, Zoom? What are you, crazy? 313 00:12:59,953 --> 00:13:01,868 You don't gotta get all upset. No, gotta be faccia con faccia. 314 00:13:01,868 --> 00:13:04,827 Dad, I want to do this next weekend 315 00:13:04,827 --> 00:13:07,221 at their family's house in the country. 316 00:13:07,221 --> 00:13:09,092 Wait... wait. Hold on, hold on. 317 00:13:09,092 --> 00:13:10,659 This is the first summer 318 00:13:10,659 --> 00:13:12,879 since we had to say goodbye to your poor dear mother, 319 00:13:12,879 --> 00:13:14,054 and you're going to leave me alone 320 00:13:14,054 --> 00:13:15,751 for the goddamn 4th of July? 321 00:13:15,751 --> 00:13:17,100 Well, it's just that, you know, 322 00:13:17,100 --> 00:13:19,407 her family invited me to their summer house. 323 00:13:19,407 --> 00:13:20,843 Oh, their summer home? 324 00:13:20,843 --> 00:13:22,062 Oh, most people got one home, but they got 'em 325 00:13:22,062 --> 00:13:23,759 for different seasons. Oh, that's nice. 326 00:13:23,759 --> 00:13:25,543 Come on, Dad. So they got more money than us, 327 00:13:25,543 --> 00:13:28,068 who doesn't? Plus, it's just for one weekend. 328 00:13:28,068 --> 00:13:30,722 Oh, one weekend, he says. One weekend. 329 00:13:30,722 --> 00:13:32,637 Fifty years ago, I come to this country 330 00:13:32,637 --> 00:13:33,900 to give you a better life. 331 00:13:33,900 --> 00:13:35,379 Fifty years ago, 332 00:13:35,379 --> 00:13:38,165 I skipped every weekend in Sicily for you. 333 00:13:38,165 --> 00:13:39,688 I joined the US Army 334 00:13:39,688 --> 00:13:41,951 to protect your freedoms. And what thanks do I get? 335 00:13:41,951 --> 00:13:43,735 You go celebrate the 4th of July 336 00:13:43,735 --> 00:13:44,824 with some other family, 337 00:13:44,824 --> 00:13:45,999 leaving me to burn the sparklers 338 00:13:45,999 --> 00:13:47,870 and eat the hot dogs alone! 339 00:13:47,870 --> 00:13:50,003 Alone! Thank you. 340 00:13:51,743 --> 00:13:53,180 This is incredible. 341 00:13:59,142 --> 00:14:01,014 Wait, what do you mean you're not coming? 342 00:14:01,014 --> 00:14:03,320 I can't leave my father. 343 00:14:03,320 --> 00:14:05,757 The 4th of July was their favorite holiday. 344 00:14:05,757 --> 00:14:07,585 Because of his military background? 345 00:14:07,585 --> 00:14:10,371 No, it's the only holiday you don't have to buy a gift. 346 00:14:10,371 --> 00:14:12,155 I'm sorry, Ellie. 347 00:14:12,155 --> 00:14:14,157 We'll just do it some other time. 348 00:14:14,157 --> 00:14:15,419 Why don't we just bring him? 349 00:14:15,419 --> 00:14:16,638 What happened? 350 00:14:16,638 --> 00:14:19,902 I mean, if he... loves the 4th, 351 00:14:19,902 --> 00:14:21,817 he's gonna flip out at our place. 352 00:14:21,817 --> 00:14:24,646 There's all kinds of fun family activities. 353 00:14:24,646 --> 00:14:26,996 There's fireworks. There's even a huge clambake 354 00:14:26,996 --> 00:14:28,868 with tons of fresh fish. 355 00:14:28,868 --> 00:14:30,304 He loves to de-bone fish. 356 00:14:31,174 --> 00:14:32,132 Kind of perfect. 357 00:14:33,568 --> 00:14:36,092 My father getting a close-up look 358 00:14:36,092 --> 00:14:37,441 at my new life, 359 00:14:37,441 --> 00:14:39,313 while I was trying to seal the deal 360 00:14:39,313 --> 00:14:41,184 with Ellie's parents? 361 00:14:41,184 --> 00:14:43,317 What an incredible idea! 362 00:14:43,317 --> 00:14:44,622 Nah, I don't think so. 363 00:14:44,622 --> 00:14:46,363 I should probably just stay here with him. 364 00:14:46,363 --> 00:14:47,669 Boo! 365 00:14:48,452 --> 00:14:50,715 Come on. 366 00:14:50,715 --> 00:14:53,370 Don't you want our families to finally meet? 367 00:14:53,370 --> 00:14:55,198 Yeah, of course I do. 368 00:14:56,547 --> 00:14:58,158 Why is your voice going up like that? 369 00:14:58,158 --> 00:14:59,289 What's going on? 370 00:14:59,855 --> 00:15:00,900 Are you... 371 00:15:02,249 --> 00:15:04,425 Are you nervous to bring him? 372 00:15:04,425 --> 00:15:06,296 Ner... No. 373 00:15:06,296 --> 00:15:08,342 No. What? No, no. 374 00:15:08,342 --> 00:15:09,604 All right, fine. 375 00:15:10,344 --> 00:15:11,562 Don't bring him. 376 00:15:11,562 --> 00:15:12,694 Don't come. 377 00:15:14,391 --> 00:15:16,916 Don't have fun. It's fine. 378 00:15:16,916 --> 00:15:18,874 All right, maybe I was a little scared 379 00:15:18,874 --> 00:15:21,572 to bring my father into a country club environment, 380 00:15:21,572 --> 00:15:24,184 where he'd see me playing racquet sports, 381 00:15:24,184 --> 00:15:27,883 riding around in golf carts, and taking naps. 382 00:15:27,883 --> 00:15:30,668 But I also knew that stubborn bastard wouldn't 383 00:15:30,668 --> 00:15:33,410 give me the ring without a face-to-face meeting. 384 00:15:34,368 --> 00:15:36,413 Fine. You win. I'll ask him. 385 00:15:38,241 --> 00:15:40,287 Hey, don't get all excited, all right? 386 00:15:40,287 --> 00:15:43,029 This guy's big on tradition. I doubt he'll even say yes. 387 00:15:43,029 --> 00:15:44,465 Shit, yeah. I'm coming. 388 00:15:44,465 --> 00:15:46,075 No, wait, wait, wait. Seriously? 389 00:15:46,075 --> 00:15:47,598 Of course, I'm coming. What are we gonna do instead? 390 00:15:47,598 --> 00:15:48,730 Spend the whole weekend alone, 391 00:15:48,730 --> 00:15:49,818 just the two of us in the house, 392 00:15:49,818 --> 00:15:51,037 burning the sparklers 393 00:15:51,037 --> 00:15:53,082 and eating the hotdogs? Yeah, I'm coming. 394 00:15:53,082 --> 00:15:54,431 That's the same example you used 395 00:15:54,431 --> 00:15:55,867 to guilt trip me into not going. 396 00:15:55,867 --> 00:15:57,565 Well, what can I say. I got a way with words. 397 00:15:57,565 --> 00:15:59,001 You know me. 398 00:15:59,001 --> 00:16:00,089 All right, listen. If we're gonna do this, Dad, 399 00:16:00,089 --> 00:16:01,438 you gotta be on your best behavior. 400 00:16:01,438 --> 00:16:03,092 Wha... What do you mean, my best behavior? 401 00:16:03,092 --> 00:16:04,964 The family is uptight, 402 00:16:04,964 --> 00:16:06,356 they're conservative, they're not used to... 403 00:16:06,356 --> 00:16:07,662 Hold on, hold on, hold on. 404 00:16:07,662 --> 00:16:10,056 So, you, the son, are telling me, the father, 405 00:16:10,056 --> 00:16:11,057 how to behave? 406 00:16:11,753 --> 00:16:13,407 You hear this? 407 00:16:13,407 --> 00:16:15,235 Just remember the main goal is for you to meet the family, 408 00:16:15,235 --> 00:16:17,367 so I can get the ring and propose to Ellie. 409 00:16:17,367 --> 00:16:18,499 It's not for you to price check 410 00:16:18,499 --> 00:16:19,717 their antique coffee tables. 411 00:16:19,717 --> 00:16:21,197 Come on, already! I mean, how fancy 412 00:16:21,197 --> 00:16:22,503 could a stupid coffee table be? 413 00:16:22,503 --> 00:16:24,200 I mean, seriously, how much we talking? 414 00:16:24,200 --> 00:16:26,420 I don't know, Dad. 415 00:16:26,420 --> 00:16:28,770 I'm kidding you. Mannaggia. Where's your sense of humor? 416 00:16:28,770 --> 00:16:29,814 - Jeez. Come on. - All I'm asking is 417 00:16:29,814 --> 00:16:31,294 dial it down with the... 418 00:16:31,294 --> 00:16:32,382 What, all the... 419 00:16:32,382 --> 00:16:33,601 This is... What is this? 420 00:16:33,601 --> 00:16:35,124 Look at him. Look at him. 421 00:16:35,124 --> 00:16:36,299 Dial it down with all this and that. 422 00:16:36,299 --> 00:16:37,387 You know what he's worried about? 423 00:16:37,387 --> 00:16:38,693 He's worried 424 00:16:38,693 --> 00:16:40,129 his immigrant father's gonna make him look 425 00:16:40,129 --> 00:16:41,783 like some kind of goombah. 426 00:16:41,783 --> 00:16:43,176 Let me tell you something. 427 00:16:43,176 --> 00:16:44,829 You don't remember this because I'm your dad 428 00:16:44,829 --> 00:16:46,657 but a lot of people find me charming, 429 00:16:46,657 --> 00:16:48,050 pretty charming, that's right. Right. 430 00:16:48,050 --> 00:16:49,356 - Right, ladies? Yeah. 431 00:16:49,356 --> 00:16:51,619 And these stuck-up rich people? 432 00:16:51,619 --> 00:16:52,837 They got a word for me... 433 00:16:52,837 --> 00:16:55,101 I remember, it's loud, it's obnoxious, 434 00:16:55,101 --> 00:16:56,493 it's over-cologned. 435 00:16:56,493 --> 00:16:58,408 No, no. "Refreshing." 436 00:16:58,408 --> 00:17:00,323 "He's refreshing." "He's so original." 437 00:17:00,323 --> 00:17:02,630 I've heard that all... All the time I hear that. 438 00:17:02,630 --> 00:17:05,285 And I promise you Ellie's parents are gonna love me. 439 00:17:05,285 --> 00:17:06,895 I don't know about you, but they're going to love me. 440 00:17:06,895 --> 00:17:08,375 - Mm-hmm. - Ladies, you better get 441 00:17:08,375 --> 00:17:09,898 your 'dos done by Thursday 442 00:17:09,898 --> 00:17:12,074 'cause the Maniscalco men, they're going on vacation. 443 00:17:13,989 --> 00:17:15,512 He's worried. 444 00:17:15,512 --> 00:17:17,558 This kid is worried. I'm not. 445 00:17:35,706 --> 00:17:37,143 What the hell are you doing? 446 00:17:37,143 --> 00:17:38,970 - You can't smoke here. - What? I'm outside. 447 00:17:38,970 --> 00:17:40,059 Next to an airplane! 448 00:17:40,059 --> 00:17:42,148 - Oh, sorry! That's okay. 449 00:17:42,148 --> 00:17:44,759 Mannaggia. Can't even smoke a cigar. 450 00:17:44,759 --> 00:17:46,413 I got some good news. 451 00:17:46,413 --> 00:17:47,979 I got us a luxury sedan 452 00:17:47,979 --> 00:17:49,938 for the price of a compact. 453 00:17:49,938 --> 00:17:51,505 That's nice, but makes me wonder 454 00:17:51,505 --> 00:17:53,463 how much the compact you could've got for. 455 00:17:53,463 --> 00:17:55,726 Then I took the compact price 456 00:17:55,726 --> 00:17:57,380 and got it on the house! 457 00:17:57,380 --> 00:17:59,295 - Hey! - Hey! Nice! 458 00:17:59,295 --> 00:18:01,471 - Baby, the bags. - Yeah. How long does it take to get there? 459 00:18:01,471 --> 00:18:03,343 Um, like, three hours. 460 00:18:03,343 --> 00:18:04,909 Hey, you guys looking for a ride? 461 00:18:05,823 --> 00:18:07,477 Oh, my God. 462 00:18:07,477 --> 00:18:08,826 Lucky! 463 00:18:08,826 --> 00:18:10,437 Oh, no. 464 00:18:10,437 --> 00:18:12,091 Who's that, an ex-boyfriend? 465 00:18:12,091 --> 00:18:13,570 Worse. Brother. 466 00:18:13,570 --> 00:18:15,094 Hey! 467 00:18:17,052 --> 00:18:20,011 While I'd made progress with Ellie's parents, 468 00:18:20,011 --> 00:18:23,145 I'd yet to make any with the older brother. 469 00:18:23,145 --> 00:18:26,192 His name was William Love Collins XIII. 470 00:18:26,192 --> 00:18:28,672 So, everybody called this guy "Lucky." 471 00:18:28,672 --> 00:18:30,196 And that's exactly 472 00:18:30,196 --> 00:18:31,458 what he was. Chug, chug, chug, 473 00:18:31,458 --> 00:18:32,633 Whoo! 474 00:18:32,633 --> 00:18:34,069 Oh, my God! 475 00:18:34,069 --> 00:18:35,679 After graduating from Princeton, 476 00:18:35,679 --> 00:18:38,117 back when you could bribe your kid into college, 477 00:18:38,117 --> 00:18:40,510 Lucky was on deck to take over the Hotel Group 478 00:18:40,510 --> 00:18:42,773 while working as a "Client Liaison." 479 00:18:42,773 --> 00:18:46,255 Gentlemen! Who's ready to go hunt some endangered species? 480 00:18:46,255 --> 00:18:47,952 I'm just kidding. Unless you guys are down, 481 00:18:47,952 --> 00:18:49,519 I can figure something out. 482 00:18:49,519 --> 00:18:51,086 This meant traveling around the world, 483 00:18:51,086 --> 00:18:52,827 entertaining wealthy clients 484 00:18:52,827 --> 00:18:54,220 with all the rich kid hobbies 485 00:18:54,220 --> 00:18:56,352 he had time to master. Whoo! 486 00:18:56,352 --> 00:18:57,484 We're talking skiing... 487 00:18:57,484 --> 00:19:00,139 Whoo! Snowboarding sucks! 488 00:19:00,139 --> 00:19:02,358 ...y achting. 489 00:19:02,358 --> 00:19:04,578 ...all the country club sports. 490 00:19:04,578 --> 00:19:07,146 Whoo! Looks like I gotta change my shoes, 491 00:19:07,146 --> 00:19:09,670 'cause I'm on the dance floor. What! 492 00:19:11,628 --> 00:19:14,283 But I'd say his overall best skill 493 00:19:14,283 --> 00:19:16,416 was being a prick. 494 00:19:16,416 --> 00:19:17,895 There he is. 495 00:19:17,895 --> 00:19:19,506 I see you're still banging the bellboy. 496 00:19:19,506 --> 00:19:21,029 Luck! No! Hey! 497 00:19:21,029 --> 00:19:22,683 I'm only joking, Sea Bass. 498 00:19:23,988 --> 00:19:25,773 Hey, what's up, Luck?[IN ENGLISH] Not much. 499 00:19:25,773 --> 00:19:27,166 You must be Sebastian's brother. 500 00:19:27,166 --> 00:19:28,993 Hey. No, I'm his father. Salvo. How are you? 501 00:19:28,993 --> 00:19:30,517 No way! Seriously? 502 00:19:30,517 --> 00:19:32,083 That's crazy. I can't tell the age 503 00:19:32,083 --> 00:19:33,476 of anybody over 40. 504 00:19:33,476 --> 00:19:35,783 Anyway. Oh, let me 505 00:19:35,783 --> 00:19:37,915 goose you guys some free samps. 506 00:19:37,915 --> 00:19:39,134 I'm an angel investor 507 00:19:39,134 --> 00:19:41,876 in this new anti-aging skin cream for men 508 00:19:41,876 --> 00:19:43,660 and I'm obvi a client. 509 00:19:43,660 --> 00:19:45,662 This guy. 510 00:19:45,662 --> 00:19:46,750 You boys ready to saddle up? 511 00:19:46,750 --> 00:19:48,143 Let's go! 512 00:19:48,143 --> 00:19:50,232 Oh, chopper time! 513 00:19:50,232 --> 00:19:52,234 El... El, I don't think this is such a good idea. 514 00:19:52,234 --> 00:19:53,714 Yeah, we got a free car, you know. 515 00:19:53,714 --> 00:19:55,498 Guys, come on! 516 00:19:55,498 --> 00:19:58,371 Trust me, the helicopter takes 20 minutes, 517 00:19:58,371 --> 00:20:01,330 and the views are magical. 518 00:20:01,330 --> 00:20:03,027 Are you with me? 519 00:20:03,027 --> 00:20:06,030 Come on! Let's have some fun! 520 00:20:06,030 --> 00:20:08,207 [ON RADIO] Lucky, you are cleared for takeoff. 521 00:20:08,207 --> 00:20:09,904 Roger that, Roger. 522 00:20:09,904 --> 00:20:11,688 Dude's name is Roger. We hang. 523 00:20:11,688 --> 00:20:13,255 Got a super-hot wife. 524 00:20:15,997 --> 00:20:17,172 Hey, if you guys look out to your left, 525 00:20:17,172 --> 00:20:19,479 you'll see the beautiful Roanoke River. 526 00:20:20,131 --> 00:20:21,176 Baby, look. 527 00:20:23,222 --> 00:20:24,266 Salvo, it's nice, right? 528 00:20:24,266 --> 00:20:25,746 Yeah. Yeah, yeah, it's nice. 529 00:20:25,746 --> 00:20:26,964 Reminds me of 'Nam. 530 00:20:33,928 --> 00:20:35,930 - Huh? - Yeah, I'm fine. It's good. 531 00:20:35,930 --> 00:20:37,410 - Okay. Okay. - I'm fine. 532 00:20:39,368 --> 00:20:40,848 - Oh, yeah. - Sorry. Sorry. 533 00:20:40,848 --> 00:20:42,066 I got it. I got it. 534 00:20:43,416 --> 00:20:45,766 Had a couple too many G and Ts. 535 00:20:45,766 --> 00:20:47,420 - He's kidding. He's kidding. Yeah, yeah. 536 00:20:49,030 --> 00:20:50,858 - The air don't work. No, it does. 537 00:20:50,858 --> 00:20:52,642 It works, it works. 538 00:20:52,642 --> 00:20:54,644 It's okay. Only a couple of minutes. 539 00:20:54,644 --> 00:20:56,733 It's just - a little warm, Dad. - Son, it's... 540 00:20:56,733 --> 00:20:58,692 I think we got a problem here. 541 00:20:58,692 --> 00:21:00,041 - What? - We got a problem here. 542 00:21:00,041 --> 00:21:01,608 Oh, my God! Baby! 543 00:21:01,608 --> 00:21:02,957 - Yeah, I can't breathe. - Wait, wait, wait. 544 00:21:02,957 --> 00:21:04,611 Take a bite out of the lemon. 545 00:21:04,611 --> 00:21:05,829 It'll help with the nausea. I'm not doing a whole lemon. 546 00:21:05,829 --> 00:21:06,917 I'll cut it. I'll cut it. Don't worry. 547 00:21:06,917 --> 00:21:08,136 Hey. 548 00:21:08,136 --> 00:21:09,311 I'll cut it into pieces. Hold on. 549 00:21:09,311 --> 00:21:10,834 I got a knife. 550 00:21:10,834 --> 00:21:12,140 He's got a knife. Oh, my God. 551 00:21:12,140 --> 00:21:13,663 - He's got a knife. - I'm cutting the lemon. 552 00:21:13,663 --> 00:21:15,578 Okay, here. Take it. Take it. Baby, suck it. 553 00:21:15,578 --> 00:21:18,059 - Suck on that. Suck on that lemon. Suck. 554 00:21:18,059 --> 00:21:20,279 Just suck! Suck, suck, suck! 555 00:21:20,279 --> 00:21:22,237 Sounds like - my Saturday night. Suck! 556 00:21:22,237 --> 00:21:24,065 Dude. Do not vom in my bird. 557 00:21:24,065 --> 00:21:25,196 He's not gonna vom in your bird. 558 00:21:25,196 --> 00:21:26,720 Just breathe in through the nose, 559 00:21:26,720 --> 00:21:28,025 - out through the mouth. Suck on that. 560 00:21:28,025 --> 00:21:30,245 - It's making it worse. - Suck it! 561 00:21:30,245 --> 00:21:31,377 Cradle the balls. Suck on that! 562 00:21:31,377 --> 00:21:32,639 You just suck! Just suck it. 563 00:21:32,639 --> 00:21:35,119 - Suck the lemon! Take it easy, kid. 564 00:21:35,119 --> 00:21:36,730 I think we should turn around. He's freaking out. 565 00:21:36,730 --> 00:21:37,992 It's like 19 more minutes. 566 00:21:37,992 --> 00:21:39,689 You can't tough it out for 19...It stinks! 567 00:21:39,689 --> 00:21:41,909 Let's bring it down. Let's bring it... Open up the windows! 568 00:21:41,909 --> 00:21:43,389 I'm gonna die! 569 00:21:43,389 --> 00:21:44,477 Put the air conditioning - down there. - Bring it down. 570 00:21:44,477 --> 00:21:45,826 - How are you so calm? Roger, 571 00:21:45,826 --> 00:21:47,654 - we're coming back. - I'm dying! Put it down! 572 00:21:47,654 --> 00:21:49,525 Put it down! Ah! 573 00:21:56,619 --> 00:21:59,187 I knew I should've forced him to join the army. 574 00:21:59,187 --> 00:22:01,668 Yeah, yeah, yeah. Laugh it up. 575 00:22:01,668 --> 00:22:02,756 Laugh it up, guys. 576 00:22:02,756 --> 00:22:04,801 I'm just happy I'm on the ground. 577 00:22:07,064 --> 00:22:10,329 Okay, gentlemen. Welcome to White Oak. 578 00:22:11,678 --> 00:22:13,244 - Wow! - Right? 579 00:22:13,244 --> 00:22:14,420 Ah, boy. 580 00:22:14,420 --> 00:22:16,944 Um, okay, so, that's the golf course, 581 00:22:16,944 --> 00:22:21,340 and then the tennis courts are back down there. 582 00:22:21,340 --> 00:22:24,168 Oh, baby, look. Right there? That's my childhood fort. 583 00:22:24,168 --> 00:22:25,561 Oh. We'd go there. 584 00:22:25,561 --> 00:22:26,562 whenever I needed to get away from my family. 585 00:22:26,562 --> 00:22:28,347 So, basically, all the time. 586 00:22:28,347 --> 00:22:29,826 Yeah, I wish I had one. 587 00:22:29,826 --> 00:22:32,786 Oh, look! 588 00:22:32,786 --> 00:22:36,790 Oh, my God! It's Sergeant Feathers and his family! 589 00:22:36,790 --> 00:22:38,835 What is this? - Oh, my God! 590 00:22:38,835 --> 00:22:40,707 What are you doing? 591 00:22:40,707 --> 00:22:42,273 - What up, dudes? What are you... Is this safe? 592 00:22:42,273 --> 00:22:43,623 Yeah, no, she's crazy. 593 00:22:43,623 --> 00:22:46,060 What's that? What are you doing? Be careful. 594 00:22:46,060 --> 00:22:47,409 Get back in the car! 595 00:22:47,409 --> 00:22:49,368 They're gonna eat you alive! 596 00:22:49,368 --> 00:22:50,586 - Oh, my God! - Aren't they the best? 597 00:22:50,586 --> 00:22:51,674 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 598 00:22:51,674 --> 00:22:53,241 They're so beautiful! 599 00:22:53,241 --> 00:22:54,982 So how much a peacock cost anyway? 600 00:22:54,982 --> 00:22:56,505 Don't answer that, El. 601 00:22:56,505 --> 00:22:58,638 I didn't know they had peacocks in Virginia. 602 00:22:58,638 --> 00:23:01,815 Oh, well, my grandfather brought two here decades ago, 603 00:23:01,815 --> 00:23:03,207 but they didn't like their cages, 604 00:23:03,207 --> 00:23:04,731 so he decided to let them roam free. 605 00:23:04,731 --> 00:23:06,080 And now, they've pretty much just become 606 00:23:06,080 --> 00:23:08,038 the official mascots of our club. 607 00:23:08,038 --> 00:23:09,736 Well, they're bad luck where I come from. 608 00:23:09,736 --> 00:23:11,651 They're just a bunch of goddamn showoffs, 609 00:23:11,651 --> 00:23:13,609 if you ask me. I don't like them. 610 00:23:13,609 --> 00:23:14,828 They're lucky to be born that way. 611 00:23:14,828 --> 00:23:15,872 They could've been born like a chicken, 612 00:23:15,872 --> 00:23:17,091 or a pigeon. 613 00:23:17,091 --> 00:23:18,701 I mean, it just has fancy feathers, 614 00:23:18,701 --> 00:23:20,573 so all of a sudden, it gets more respect. 615 00:23:20,573 --> 00:23:23,706 Okay, guys. 616 00:23:23,706 --> 00:23:25,752 We're here. Welcome to our house. 617 00:23:27,493 --> 00:23:30,931 Look at this! Are you kidding me? 618 00:23:30,931 --> 00:23:32,280 How much a house like this cost? 619 00:23:32,280 --> 00:23:34,848 Enough with the Price is Right! 620 00:23:34,848 --> 00:23:36,937 He's the Bob Barker of the backseat. 621 00:23:38,504 --> 00:23:41,202 Oh, my little cuddle monkey! Hey! Hi! 622 00:23:41,202 --> 00:23:42,595 Hi. 623 00:23:42,595 --> 00:23:44,597 - Oh, my girl. Oh! 624 00:23:44,597 --> 00:23:46,642 - Oh, what a beauty! - Ellie-Bellie! 625 00:23:46,642 --> 00:23:48,383 You know, looking back at this, 626 00:23:48,383 --> 00:23:50,429 my dad had to be overwhelmed. 627 00:23:50,429 --> 00:23:52,039 Family's a little handsy, huh? 628 00:23:52,039 --> 00:23:54,215 It's called love and affection, Dad. 629 00:23:54,215 --> 00:23:55,956 Unlike you, when you met me in the delivery room 630 00:23:55,956 --> 00:23:57,392 and chose to shake my hand. 631 00:23:57,392 --> 00:23:59,438 What else was I supposed to do? We just met. 632 00:23:59,438 --> 00:24:01,309 Huh? 633 00:24:01,309 --> 00:24:02,397 Guys, come on. I want you to meet 634 00:24:02,397 --> 00:24:04,051 Sebastian's father. 635 00:24:04,051 --> 00:24:05,182 - Hey, Sebastian. - Hi. 636 00:24:05,182 --> 00:24:06,575 Nice to see you. 637 00:24:06,575 --> 00:24:07,663 - Pleasure. Welcome. Nice to meet you. 638 00:24:07,663 --> 00:24:09,056 Sebastian, so good to see you. 639 00:24:10,318 --> 00:24:14,061 And you must be the charming Salvo. 640 00:24:14,061 --> 00:24:16,759 So nice to finally meet you in person, Tigger. 641 00:24:16,759 --> 00:24:18,282 It's just last week I was checking out 642 00:24:18,282 --> 00:24:20,197 your highlights on TV. 643 00:24:20,197 --> 00:24:22,373 Oh, the CNN or the Fox ones? 644 00:24:22,373 --> 00:24:23,810 No, no, the blonde ones. 645 00:24:23,810 --> 00:24:25,376 You hair, if I can say, is 646 00:24:25,376 --> 00:24:26,726 just like a block of marble. 647 00:24:26,726 --> 00:24:28,379 I wanna sink my tools into it. 648 00:24:28,379 --> 00:24:29,903 Dad, Dad, Dad, what are you doing? 649 00:24:29,903 --> 00:24:31,426 Sorry, I mean, it's... You're gonna hit her. 650 00:24:31,426 --> 00:24:33,515 Well, Salvo, we've heard you're quite the stylist. 651 00:24:33,515 --> 00:24:34,777 Now, tell me this, 652 00:24:34,777 --> 00:24:36,170 do you think I'm too old to pull off 653 00:24:36,170 --> 00:24:37,345 a set of frosted tips? 654 00:24:41,044 --> 00:24:42,437 "Frosted tips?" 655 00:24:42,437 --> 00:24:44,744 Good one, sir! Solid gold! 656 00:24:44,744 --> 00:24:46,223 All right, I'm gonna hit the links. 657 00:24:46,223 --> 00:24:47,442 Have fun! Hasta luego! 658 00:24:47,442 --> 00:24:49,488 So, uh, why don't you come inside, 659 00:24:49,488 --> 00:24:51,141 and we'll give you the grand tour. 660 00:24:51,141 --> 00:24:52,621 Don't worry about the bags. 661 00:24:52,621 --> 00:24:54,493 Wendell will take care of them. 662 00:24:54,493 --> 00:24:55,798 Mommy... 663 00:24:55,798 --> 00:24:57,104 That's a pretty big dog you got there. 664 00:24:57,104 --> 00:24:59,062 Oh, that's Duke. 665 00:24:59,062 --> 00:25:00,324 We don't get too rough with him, 'cause we're afraid he'll kill us. 666 00:25:00,324 --> 00:25:01,891 He's so big! 667 00:25:01,891 --> 00:25:03,110 Dad! This is our house. 668 00:25:03,110 --> 00:25:04,503 Wow! Yes. 669 00:25:04,503 --> 00:25:05,939 It's unbelievable. It's so big. 670 00:25:05,939 --> 00:25:07,288 Oh, this is 671 00:25:07,288 --> 00:25:10,247 our youngest son, Doug. 672 00:25:10,247 --> 00:25:11,510 He's practicing... ELLIE: Hi! 673 00:25:11,510 --> 00:25:13,250 ...his sound bowls. 674 00:25:13,250 --> 00:25:15,339 Oh, yeah... Sound bowls? What is that? 675 00:25:15,339 --> 00:25:17,167 Oh, well, now, a sound bowl is... 676 00:25:17,167 --> 00:25:18,604 It's, actually, it's an instrument. 677 00:25:18,604 --> 00:25:20,910 It puts out this vibration 678 00:25:20,910 --> 00:25:23,739 that relieves stress and promotes relaxation. 679 00:25:23,739 --> 00:25:26,176 He's... he's learning to be a healer. 680 00:25:27,613 --> 00:25:29,615 Uh, but we're just so proud of him. 681 00:25:29,615 --> 00:25:30,964 You're so loud, Dad. 682 00:25:30,964 --> 00:25:32,487 - Oh, sorry. - Oh, sorry, sorry. 683 00:25:32,487 --> 00:25:34,794 Let me just... Sorry. No, I'm gonna close the... 684 00:25:34,794 --> 00:25:36,143 Play, boy, play. 685 00:25:36,143 --> 00:25:39,015 Play to soothe the savage beast. 686 00:25:39,015 --> 00:25:40,713 Well, you don't have to shut 'em. 687 00:25:42,062 --> 00:25:44,891 Wow! This house is amazing! 688 00:25:44,891 --> 00:25:46,719 - Look at this! This is nothing. 689 00:25:46,719 --> 00:25:48,242 You should see the place in Aspen. 690 00:25:48,242 --> 00:25:50,897 Well, it's just, you know... 691 00:25:50,897 --> 00:25:53,769 - Yeah. - I love this cocktail table. 692 00:25:53,769 --> 00:25:56,293 Oh, Sebastian! 693 00:25:56,293 --> 00:25:58,339 Good eye! 694 00:25:58,339 --> 00:26:01,690 The first commercial coal mine in the country was 695 00:26:01,690 --> 00:26:02,996 right down the road from here, 696 00:26:02,996 --> 00:26:05,999 and this piece is made out of the wood 697 00:26:05,999 --> 00:26:08,654 from one of the original mine cars. 698 00:26:08,654 --> 00:26:11,395 Drenched - in history. - Drenched. 699 00:26:11,395 --> 00:26:13,136 Good for you, re-using old wood like that. 700 00:26:13,136 --> 00:26:14,660 Yes. - This guy always gets on me 701 00:26:14,660 --> 00:26:16,400 about picking up trash and putting it in the house. 702 00:26:16,400 --> 00:26:18,098 Trash? 703 00:26:18,098 --> 00:26:19,665 It's crazy, the stuff that people throw away these days. 704 00:26:19,665 --> 00:26:21,405 It sure beats paying for it, I mean, right? 705 00:26:21,405 --> 00:26:23,538 - So, I... I take it. - Right. 706 00:26:23,538 --> 00:26:25,975 Yes. Yes. That is 707 00:26:25,975 --> 00:26:27,542 - so true. - Yeah. 708 00:26:27,542 --> 00:26:30,284 Um, actually, though, we did pay for this one. 709 00:26:30,284 --> 00:26:32,373 A king's ransom, 710 00:26:32,373 --> 00:26:35,332 if I must say, but at least it's too rickety 711 00:26:35,332 --> 00:26:37,030 to put drinks on. 712 00:26:37,030 --> 00:26:38,553 Dad, that's the worst. 713 00:26:38,553 --> 00:26:41,295 No, no, we just, we wanted something 714 00:26:41,295 --> 00:26:44,037 that matched the art in the room. 715 00:26:44,037 --> 00:26:45,255 Oh, good for you, 716 00:26:45,255 --> 00:26:47,301 hanging up your kids' art work like that. 717 00:26:47,301 --> 00:26:53,263 No, these are original Grandma Moseses. 718 00:26:53,263 --> 00:26:54,395 Can you believe it? I'm... I'm sorry. 719 00:26:54,395 --> 00:26:55,744 We found them... I'm sorry. 720 00:26:55,744 --> 00:26:57,703 What? - I'm sorry. I mean, I... 721 00:26:57,703 --> 00:26:59,313 I didn't mean to insult your grandmother. 722 00:26:59,313 --> 00:27:01,576 I meant no disrespect. I had no idea. 723 00:27:01,576 --> 00:27:03,056 I mean, what was the matter with her? 724 00:27:03,056 --> 00:27:04,884 Was she a little... 725 00:27:04,884 --> 00:27:05,972 Oh, my God. 726 00:27:05,972 --> 00:27:07,538 Hey, who's hungry for lunch? 727 00:27:07,538 --> 00:27:09,062 - I am. Me, me, me! 728 00:27:09,062 --> 00:27:10,846 We could all go down to The Shack. 729 00:27:10,846 --> 00:27:12,587 Oh, Salvo, - you're gonna love The Shack! - What a great idea! 730 00:27:25,469 --> 00:27:26,557 It's me. 731 00:27:28,734 --> 00:27:31,127 Wow, this club is huge, Bill. 732 00:27:31,127 --> 00:27:32,389 The way you were describing it, 733 00:27:32,389 --> 00:27:34,435 I expected a place where they're serving 734 00:27:34,435 --> 00:27:36,524 grilled cheese out of a little window, you know. 735 00:27:36,524 --> 00:27:39,483 Yes, I suppose they've fixed it up over the years. 736 00:27:39,483 --> 00:27:41,572 But to us it will always be... 737 00:27:41,572 --> 00:27:43,270 The Shack. 738 00:27:43,270 --> 00:27:45,185 This place was built by slaves. 739 00:27:45,185 --> 00:27:46,708 Douglass. 740 00:27:46,708 --> 00:27:49,015 What, I'm not allowed to tell the truth now? 741 00:27:49,015 --> 00:27:50,712 How are we supposed to confront our problems 742 00:27:50,712 --> 00:27:52,888 if we don't talk about it, Dad? 743 00:27:52,888 --> 00:27:54,498 No, it's true. It's true. 744 00:27:54,498 --> 00:27:57,197 The... Some of the history down here is 745 00:27:57,197 --> 00:27:58,372 just... it's brutal. 746 00:27:58,372 --> 00:28:00,591 - Mmm. - It's just unthinkable. 747 00:28:02,724 --> 00:28:04,421 It's not on the menu, but you can order 748 00:28:04,421 --> 00:28:06,423 the club sandwich with lobster. 749 00:28:06,423 --> 00:28:08,295 You know, I can't even bring my girlfriend here 750 00:28:08,295 --> 00:28:09,557 because I'm ashamed. 751 00:28:11,298 --> 00:28:12,821 She's an African person. 752 00:28:12,821 --> 00:28:16,477 She is a person emailing you from Africa, 753 00:28:16,477 --> 00:28:18,958 and to whom you are sending back money. 754 00:28:18,958 --> 00:28:20,394 We have yet to confirm 755 00:28:20,394 --> 00:28:22,875 whether she's a girl or a friend. 756 00:28:22,875 --> 00:28:24,920 Keep me safe from negative energy. 757 00:28:24,920 --> 00:28:27,009 Hi, everyone. Welcome to White Oak. 758 00:28:27,009 --> 00:28:29,925 What can - I get you guys? - Oh, no bread, please. 759 00:28:29,925 --> 00:28:32,928 Um, do you have those crackers? The seedy ones? 760 00:28:32,928 --> 00:28:35,409 - Of course. - Gloria, do you have kombucha? 761 00:28:35,409 --> 00:28:38,020 - I can check. - Does anyone want in on this? 762 00:28:38,020 --> 00:28:39,935 Ever since I've had kombucha, 763 00:28:39,935 --> 00:28:42,895 my BMs have been - ...completely regular. Oh. All right. 764 00:28:42,895 --> 00:28:45,288 - I've had no problems. - All right. Remember, Douglass, 765 00:28:45,288 --> 00:28:47,813 we don't talk about - our BMs at the table. - No. 766 00:28:47,813 --> 00:28:49,597 Before I was drinking kombucha, 767 00:28:50,206 --> 00:28:51,947 my feces looked like 768 00:28:51,947 --> 00:28:53,993 ripped, little pieces of paper 769 00:28:53,993 --> 00:28:55,603 and then after I started drinking, 770 00:28:55,603 --> 00:28:57,431 they're long, soft logs. 771 00:28:57,431 --> 00:29:00,390 Well, all right. Thank you for that. 772 00:29:00,390 --> 00:29:02,175 Um, do you know what you want, Sebastian? 773 00:29:02,175 --> 00:29:04,438 Just a... 774 00:29:04,438 --> 00:29:06,745 - the Cobb salad. Good choice. 775 00:29:06,745 --> 00:29:08,485 What are you, one of my sorority sisters? 776 00:29:08,485 --> 00:29:10,749 Is that all you're gonna get? 777 00:29:10,749 --> 00:29:12,272 You're not gonna get a starter? 778 00:29:12,272 --> 00:29:14,100 Yeah, uh, I'm just gonna 779 00:29:14,100 --> 00:29:15,405 stick with the middle of the menu. 780 00:29:15,405 --> 00:29:17,190 All right, suit yourself. 781 00:29:17,190 --> 00:29:18,626 Salvo, what are you gonna get? 782 00:29:18,626 --> 00:29:20,846 Gloria, I think I'm gonna have the... 783 00:29:20,846 --> 00:29:22,935 the BLT with the onion rings. 784 00:29:22,935 --> 00:29:24,980 But what's the price on that dish? 785 00:29:25,633 --> 00:29:26,852 Oh, no, we don't... 786 00:29:26,852 --> 00:29:31,160 Salvo, this may sound very silly 787 00:29:31,160 --> 00:29:33,162 but we don't like to put prices on things, 788 00:29:33,162 --> 00:29:37,906 because it's just an annoying reminder of money. Right? 789 00:29:37,906 --> 00:29:39,690 Oh! 790 00:29:39,690 --> 00:29:41,431 So, everything's for free, you mean? 791 00:29:41,431 --> 00:29:44,260 No. No, it is not free. 792 00:29:44,260 --> 00:29:45,696 I wish it were. 793 00:29:45,696 --> 00:29:47,350 Nothing is free. 794 00:29:47,350 --> 00:29:49,570 So, what do they do? I mean, they make up a price, or... 795 00:29:49,570 --> 00:29:51,267 Oh, Dad, it's... you know... 796 00:29:51,267 --> 00:29:52,529 Son, I'm talking to Bill, here. 797 00:29:52,529 --> 00:29:53,792 Are you Bill? Hello, Bill. 798 00:29:53,792 --> 00:29:55,228 It's fine. 799 00:29:55,228 --> 00:29:57,056 Everything has - a set price. - Mmm. 800 00:29:57,056 --> 00:29:59,449 And then they just tally it up at the end of the week, 801 00:29:59,449 --> 00:30:01,712 put it on my bill, and it's taken care of. 802 00:30:01,712 --> 00:30:03,236 Got it. Okay, got it. 803 00:30:03,236 --> 00:30:04,759 Well, Gloria, I would just love to chat 804 00:30:04,759 --> 00:30:06,282 with somebody who knows the prices. 805 00:30:06,282 --> 00:30:07,675 Salvo, please. 806 00:30:07,675 --> 00:30:10,156 Please. It would be our pleasure to treat you. 807 00:30:10,156 --> 00:30:11,984 I would love that and thank you, Tigger. 808 00:30:11,984 --> 00:30:14,638 But I think you do way, way, way too much, already. 809 00:30:14,638 --> 00:30:16,640 You're putting us up in your home, 810 00:30:16,640 --> 00:30:19,078 that's enough already. We want to at least, you know, pay for the meal. 811 00:30:19,078 --> 00:30:20,775 - It's not a big deal. - I know it's not a big deal. 812 00:30:20,775 --> 00:30:22,124 Don't make a big deal out of it. It's all right. 813 00:30:22,124 --> 00:30:23,604 Don't worry about it. It's okay. 814 00:30:23,604 --> 00:30:25,736 So, Gloria, just do me a favor, 815 00:30:25,736 --> 00:30:27,216 find out how much it is for the BLT. 816 00:30:27,216 --> 00:30:29,653 What did you get again? Just the Cobb salad. 817 00:30:29,653 --> 00:30:31,090 - Cobb salad. Please. Please, 818 00:30:31,090 --> 00:30:32,569 No, we'll take care of it. Just let us pay. 819 00:30:32,569 --> 00:30:33,962 It will be so much easier... Just let them pay. 820 00:30:33,962 --> 00:30:35,703 ...if you just let them pay. I can't let you. 821 00:30:35,703 --> 00:30:38,358 - ...taken care of it. - Dad, let them pay. 822 00:30:38,358 --> 00:30:40,055 - Please let them pay. - Just let us pay. 823 00:30:40,055 --> 00:30:41,970 - I can't let you pay. It's so easy. 824 00:30:46,627 --> 00:30:48,759 I don't know what you're so upset about. 825 00:30:48,759 --> 00:30:50,805 I mean, I'm a working guy. 826 00:30:50,805 --> 00:30:52,067 I like to pay my own way. 827 00:30:52,067 --> 00:30:53,416 I don't want to owe anybody anything. 828 00:30:53,416 --> 00:30:55,027 I'm upset because you're supposed 829 00:30:55,027 --> 00:30:56,680 to be getting to know Ellie's family. 830 00:30:56,680 --> 00:30:58,552 And instead, you made a big scene. 831 00:30:58,552 --> 00:31:00,597 So what? Who cares? These people are strange. 832 00:31:00,597 --> 00:31:01,903 Yeah, you think they are. 833 00:31:01,903 --> 00:31:03,905 They are strange. Are you kidding me? 834 00:31:03,905 --> 00:31:05,820 They wanna take a break from thinking about money. 835 00:31:05,820 --> 00:31:07,300 Where I come from, that's called dying. 836 00:31:07,300 --> 00:31:08,997 All right, that's... 837 00:31:08,997 --> 00:31:11,260 It's a different life. 838 00:31:11,260 --> 00:31:12,566 But you still gotta try. 839 00:31:13,175 --> 00:31:14,524 Try... 840 00:31:14,524 --> 00:31:16,091 I just don't know, Sebastian, I got to tell you. 841 00:31:16,091 --> 00:31:18,006 I don't know how you're gonna fit in. 842 00:31:18,006 --> 00:31:19,703 It ain't normal. I mean, your mother and me, 843 00:31:19,703 --> 00:31:21,314 we didn't raise you this way, so... 844 00:31:21,314 --> 00:31:23,272 Yeah, you raised me to marry an Italian 845 00:31:23,272 --> 00:31:24,926 who shouts when she's happy, 846 00:31:24,926 --> 00:31:26,449 and grows hair in places I didn't even know could grow. 847 00:31:26,449 --> 00:31:28,060 So what? That's a real woman. 848 00:31:28,060 --> 00:31:29,583 Your mother was a real woman, 849 00:31:29,583 --> 00:31:31,280 who put real food on the table, 850 00:31:31,280 --> 00:31:33,979 not somebody who refuses a bread basket. 851 00:31:33,979 --> 00:31:35,415 All right, Dad, even I have to admit 852 00:31:35,415 --> 00:31:37,721 - the crackers were awful. - It's like eating birdseed. 853 00:31:37,721 --> 00:31:39,375 Yeah. I didn't know whether to eat 'em with my hands 854 00:31:39,375 --> 00:31:40,594 or just walk around and... 855 00:31:44,250 --> 00:31:46,121 Exactly, and you notice how they try to downplay 856 00:31:46,121 --> 00:31:47,427 how fancy it is? 857 00:31:47,427 --> 00:31:48,602 Oh, yeah."Excuse me? 858 00:31:48,602 --> 00:31:50,038 "I'm looking at this. 859 00:31:50,038 --> 00:31:52,258 "Excuse me. I got eyes. I can see. Hello." 860 00:31:52,258 --> 00:31:53,781 They walk around, saying, "Oh, yes. 861 00:31:53,781 --> 00:31:56,131 "The house is 60,000 square feet, 862 00:31:56,131 --> 00:31:57,524 "with 13 bedrooms, 863 00:31:57,524 --> 00:31:59,918 "but we like it because it's cozy." 864 00:31:59,918 --> 00:32:01,832 And then they do the opposite with the furniture. 865 00:32:01,832 --> 00:32:03,269 They make it sound more important 866 00:32:03,269 --> 00:32:04,574 than it really is. 867 00:32:04,574 --> 00:32:06,446 It can't just be like a regular chair. 868 00:32:06,446 --> 00:32:08,143 It's got to have like a whole back story. 869 00:32:08,143 --> 00:32:09,362 - Oh, yeah. - I mean, what... 870 00:32:09,362 --> 00:32:11,538 "This is the chair Thomas Jefferson sat in 871 00:32:11,538 --> 00:32:13,844 "when he signed the treaty of Who-the-Hell-Cares?" 872 00:32:13,844 --> 00:32:16,456 "Well, the toilet is where Abe Lincoln took a dump. 873 00:32:16,456 --> 00:32:17,979 "There's a plaque right there." 874 00:32:17,979 --> 00:32:20,503 "Oh, do they got a place for his hat in there, too?" 875 00:32:20,503 --> 00:32:21,852 I mean, I don't know if I'm in a house 876 00:32:21,852 --> 00:32:23,158 or I'm in a museum. 877 00:32:24,290 --> 00:32:26,727 So, tell us, what's new in Chicago? 878 00:32:26,727 --> 00:32:28,511 How's the art? 879 00:32:28,511 --> 00:32:31,079 Well, it's, um... Yes? 880 00:32:31,079 --> 00:32:32,689 - It's great. - Yes. 881 00:32:32,689 --> 00:32:34,561 All my pieces from my last show 882 00:32:34,561 --> 00:32:36,955 sold out at the opening. I mean... 883 00:32:36,955 --> 00:32:38,957 Well, that's something... That's amazing! 884 00:32:38,957 --> 00:32:40,393 - ...to crow about. - Yeah, right? 885 00:32:40,393 --> 00:32:43,222 So, now that you're getting all these contacts, 886 00:32:43,222 --> 00:32:46,051 you could probably work from anywhere. 887 00:32:46,051 --> 00:32:49,793 - Mom, stop, no. - Right, sweetie? Right? 888 00:32:49,793 --> 00:32:51,578 Sebastian and I love living in Chicago. 889 00:32:51,578 --> 00:32:53,058 Oh. 890 00:32:53,058 --> 00:32:55,712 But we miss having you there in D.C. 891 00:32:55,712 --> 00:32:57,932 We really do. - We really do. - We do. 892 00:32:57,932 --> 00:32:59,238 These cheeks aren't as fun 893 00:32:59,238 --> 00:33:00,630 to kiss on FaceTime. 894 00:33:00,630 --> 00:33:01,892 Oh, my God. I want a cheek, too. 895 00:33:01,892 --> 00:33:03,329 Where's my cheek? Where's my cheek? 896 00:33:03,329 --> 00:33:06,636 Excuse me. Excuse me. 897 00:33:06,636 --> 00:33:08,116 You guys aren't supposed to be talking 898 00:33:08,116 --> 00:33:09,378 - during a sound bath. - Oh, God. 899 00:33:09,378 --> 00:33:11,206 Oh, of course. Sorry. Sorry, Dougie. 900 00:33:11,206 --> 00:33:12,468 No. No, this is... Sorry, sorry, sorry. 901 00:33:12,468 --> 00:33:13,992 This is wonderful. 902 00:33:13,992 --> 00:33:16,907 Please keep bathing us in sound. 903 00:33:16,907 --> 00:33:19,084 - Yes. - Go, with your... Yeah. 904 00:33:19,084 --> 00:33:22,174 Dad, listen. We're here because I wanna marry Ellie. 905 00:33:22,174 --> 00:33:24,393 So, it don't matter how it works with these people. 906 00:33:24,393 --> 00:33:25,829 It works with her. 907 00:33:25,829 --> 00:33:27,744 So, come on. Tomorrow, please, 908 00:33:27,744 --> 00:33:29,746 can you give these people a chance? 909 00:33:29,746 --> 00:33:32,836 Got it. Got it. No problem, no problem. 910 00:33:32,836 --> 00:33:34,969 Because at the end of the day, son, it's your life. 911 00:33:36,579 --> 00:33:37,972 - Night cologne? - Yep. 912 00:33:46,285 --> 00:33:48,417 Look at this. Pink sheets? 913 00:33:48,417 --> 00:33:49,462 What? 914 00:33:51,029 --> 00:33:52,595 Well, we're in a dollhouse. 915 00:33:56,164 --> 00:33:58,514 Mom, Dad, I would love 916 00:33:58,514 --> 00:34:00,386 to live closer, you know that. 917 00:34:00,386 --> 00:34:02,518 - And? - But... 918 00:34:02,518 --> 00:34:04,868 Sebastian has his dad, 919 00:34:04,868 --> 00:34:06,870 - and a great job. - Yeah, working 920 00:34:06,870 --> 00:34:08,394 for the damn Hiltons. 921 00:34:08,394 --> 00:34:09,830 - The Hiltons. - Such a good gig. 922 00:34:09,830 --> 00:34:11,527 Do you still have to have herpes to work there? 923 00:34:11,527 --> 00:34:13,703 The point is... Thank you for that. 924 00:34:13,703 --> 00:34:16,619 ...that he loves it, 925 00:34:16,619 --> 00:34:19,013 and I couldn't just ask him to leave. 926 00:34:19,013 --> 00:34:21,494 Sure, but that house that you guys live in, 927 00:34:21,494 --> 00:34:24,279 - it's so cramped. - We prefer "modest." 928 00:34:24,279 --> 00:34:26,716 You don't go on vacations. Because we're working. 929 00:34:26,716 --> 00:34:28,109 And all that cologne? 930 00:34:28,109 --> 00:34:30,024 They made my chopper smell like a Nordstrom's. 931 00:34:30,024 --> 00:34:31,460 God! I hate it 932 00:34:31,460 --> 00:34:34,333 when you guys gang up on me like this. 933 00:34:34,333 --> 00:34:36,378 It's not fair! And like it or not, 934 00:34:36,900 --> 00:34:37,988 Mom, Dad, 935 00:34:39,164 --> 00:34:40,469 and Lucky... Ow! 936 00:34:40,469 --> 00:34:42,732 Sebastian and I are very happy together, 937 00:34:42,732 --> 00:34:44,865 and we're staying in Chicago. 938 00:34:44,865 --> 00:34:46,475 I'm sorry, Dougie. 939 00:34:46,475 --> 00:34:48,608 Okay. I can't open chakras like this. 940 00:34:48,608 --> 00:34:50,479 I'm gonna go call my girlfriend. 941 00:34:50,479 --> 00:34:52,786 - Oh, no! - It's fine. It's fine. 942 00:34:52,786 --> 00:34:54,092 Oh, shit! 943 00:34:55,049 --> 00:34:56,181 Bitcoin's down. 944 00:34:59,097 --> 00:35:00,924 Will you look at us? Walking through 945 00:35:00,924 --> 00:35:04,232 a gated community as guests. 946 00:35:04,232 --> 00:35:05,625 Not groundskeepers. 947 00:35:05,625 --> 00:35:07,192 Yeah. Well, I just hope 948 00:35:07,192 --> 00:35:08,758 nothing gets stolen this weekend, 949 00:35:08,758 --> 00:35:10,847 'cause these people love to blame the immigrants. 950 00:35:12,153 --> 00:35:13,415 Look at this one. Look at this one. 951 00:35:13,415 --> 00:35:15,591 What'd she do? Take the gym equipment home? 952 00:35:15,591 --> 00:35:16,940 - Morning! - Hello. 953 00:35:16,940 --> 00:35:18,333 Beautiful day, isn't it? Yeah. 954 00:35:18,333 --> 00:35:20,335 - Beautiful. - Yeah. Yeah. 955 00:35:20,335 --> 00:35:22,337 You gotta be kidding me. What the hell's her problem? 956 00:35:22,337 --> 00:35:23,817 "Beautiful day." Give me a break. 957 00:35:23,817 --> 00:35:25,471 She's happy, Dad. 958 00:35:25,471 --> 00:35:28,213 She probably had a father that let her sleep in past 5:45. 959 00:35:28,213 --> 00:35:29,475 I mean, I can't stop thinking 960 00:35:29,475 --> 00:35:30,911 about how much work I'm missing. 961 00:35:30,911 --> 00:35:32,565 I could've done four dyes and a perm by now. 962 00:35:32,565 --> 00:35:34,480 Two electric bills I could've paid. Two. 963 00:35:34,480 --> 00:35:36,090 - Good morning. - Hello. 964 00:35:37,265 --> 00:35:39,049 "Good morning." Come on. 965 00:35:39,049 --> 00:35:41,269 What you talking about? She's in a bathrobe. I can't believe this. 966 00:35:41,269 --> 00:35:43,010 I mean, don't these people have jobs? 967 00:35:43,010 --> 00:35:44,533 It's a holiday weekend. 968 00:35:44,533 --> 00:35:46,840 Plus, they got their money in the stock market. 969 00:35:46,840 --> 00:35:49,973 Not mayonnaise jars buried in their backyard. 970 00:35:49,973 --> 00:35:52,106 Just relax. Come on, Dad. 971 00:35:52,106 --> 00:35:54,848 It's a beautiful day! 972 00:36:02,247 --> 00:36:04,510 Back and forth, back and forth. 973 00:36:04,510 --> 00:36:06,860 You play this game? Come on. 974 00:36:06,860 --> 00:36:08,209 The outfits? 975 00:36:08,209 --> 00:36:09,819 The wives with their culos hanging out 976 00:36:09,819 --> 00:36:11,647 for everybody to see? 977 00:36:11,647 --> 00:36:13,171 And when they hit a ball, it sounds like 978 00:36:13,171 --> 00:36:14,302 they're having an orgasm. They're hitting a ball. 979 00:36:15,869 --> 00:36:17,958 Come on. The only reason I agreed to play is 980 00:36:17,958 --> 00:36:19,829 so you could spend some time with Bill. 981 00:36:19,829 --> 00:36:21,483 So just relax and do what we came to do. 982 00:36:21,483 --> 00:36:22,745 Yeah, I am relaxed. 983 00:36:22,745 --> 00:36:24,182 Look, I got sandals on. 984 00:36:24,791 --> 00:36:26,358 I'm relaxed. 985 00:36:26,358 --> 00:36:28,534 You look like the guy who killed John Wick's dog. 986 00:36:28,534 --> 00:36:30,188 Who's that? I don't even know who that is. 987 00:36:32,581 --> 00:36:34,757 So Ellie tells me you're quite the player. 988 00:36:34,757 --> 00:36:36,411 Yeah, I've taken a couple lessons. 989 00:36:36,411 --> 00:36:37,978 Well, get ready to bring it. 990 00:36:37,978 --> 00:36:40,285 I love my family everywhere, 991 00:36:40,285 --> 00:36:42,635 except on the tennis court. 992 00:36:42,635 --> 00:36:43,940 - Chest-bump! - Oh, wow! 993 00:36:43,940 --> 00:36:46,204 Oh, jeez, that's uncomfortable. 994 00:36:46,204 --> 00:36:48,075 Let's do this. Mom, you ready? 995 00:36:56,475 --> 00:36:57,998 It's time for tennis, baby! 996 00:36:59,434 --> 00:37:01,349 So, hey, Bill... Yeah? 997 00:37:01,349 --> 00:37:03,482 So how long you been in the hotel business? 998 00:37:03,482 --> 00:37:05,484 Oh, yes, well, 50 years. 999 00:37:05,484 --> 00:37:07,747 A long time. My whole life. Yeah. 1000 00:37:08,704 --> 00:37:10,445 But then it's... 1001 00:37:10,445 --> 00:37:12,752 I guess it's a pretty exciting thing to do. 1002 00:37:12,752 --> 00:37:14,493 I love it. I love it. I got... I got hotel... 1003 00:37:14,493 --> 00:37:16,625 I got... I got hotels in my blood. 1004 00:37:16,625 --> 00:37:18,148 Just like you have hair in your blood. 1005 00:37:18,148 --> 00:37:19,628 Right? I mean... 1006 00:37:19,628 --> 00:37:22,631 Yo, Sea Bass. Hope you got on your oven mitts. 1007 00:37:22,631 --> 00:37:24,154 'Cause here comes the heat. 1008 00:37:24,154 --> 00:37:26,244 Oh. 1009 00:37:26,244 --> 00:37:29,072 Oh, my God! Sorry. 1010 00:37:29,072 --> 00:37:30,639 What the hell was that, Sebastian? 1011 00:37:30,639 --> 00:37:32,554 Ellie told me you had game. 1012 00:37:32,554 --> 00:37:34,164 - Sorry. Didn't come easy. 1013 00:37:34,164 --> 00:37:35,992 I got, uh, kicked out of Harvard 1014 00:37:35,992 --> 00:37:37,820 for playing the sax. I know, it's a long story. 1015 00:37:37,820 --> 00:37:39,474 But my dad, he got mad. He said, 1016 00:37:39,474 --> 00:37:41,215 "That's it. You make it on your own." 1017 00:37:41,215 --> 00:37:43,739 He gave me one hotel. One. 1018 00:37:43,739 --> 00:37:45,132 - Wow. - Yeah. 1019 00:37:45,132 --> 00:37:46,481 That's - impressive. - Well... 1020 00:37:48,657 --> 00:37:50,180 My father gave me a mule. 1021 00:37:50,920 --> 00:37:52,270 Next day it died. 1022 00:37:54,881 --> 00:37:56,317 Gah! 1023 00:37:56,317 --> 00:37:58,754 ♪ Put the macaroni in the pot and cook it ♪ 1024 00:38:01,583 --> 00:38:03,063 What's that, Doug? 1025 00:38:03,063 --> 00:38:04,717 It's an adult coloring book. 1026 00:38:08,373 --> 00:38:09,809 Hey, man, you wanna take a break 1027 00:38:09,809 --> 00:38:12,377 for some more water or some more tennis lessons? 1028 00:38:14,988 --> 00:38:17,251 What is going on? 1029 00:38:17,251 --> 00:38:18,600 - What? - You love tennis, 1030 00:38:18,600 --> 00:38:20,036 and it's like you're not even trying out here. 1031 00:38:20,036 --> 00:38:21,473 Come on, it's just a game. 1032 00:38:21,473 --> 00:38:22,952 Well... 1033 00:38:22,952 --> 00:38:24,345 All right. At least take off 1034 00:38:24,345 --> 00:38:25,738 this stupid - tracksuit. - No, it's cold. 1035 00:38:25,738 --> 00:38:27,130 Leave it on. - Leave it on. - You must be sweating... 1036 00:38:27,130 --> 00:38:28,610 No, I'm cold. I'm cold....your tits off! 1037 00:38:28,610 --> 00:38:30,220 You're not cold. 1038 00:38:32,440 --> 00:38:34,703 Wait a sec. Are you embarrassed to play 1039 00:38:34,703 --> 00:38:36,009 because your dad is watching? 1040 00:38:36,009 --> 00:38:37,271 Listen, he's not the biggest fan 1041 00:38:37,271 --> 00:38:38,620 of sports like this. 1042 00:38:38,620 --> 00:38:40,230 And I don't really feel like going over there 1043 00:38:40,230 --> 00:38:41,536 and explaining to him 1044 00:38:41,536 --> 00:38:43,538 that I'm paying a guy to teach me how to play. 1045 00:38:43,538 --> 00:38:45,584 Well, you should know that my mother is not 1046 00:38:45,584 --> 00:38:48,326 a "big fan" of losing either. 1047 00:38:50,589 --> 00:38:53,287 Yeah. 1048 00:38:53,287 --> 00:38:55,811 Listen, at least she stopped chest-bumping me. 1049 00:38:55,811 --> 00:38:57,987 The only breasts I wanna feel in this family are yours. 1050 00:38:58,945 --> 00:39:00,338 Not if you lose. 1051 00:39:01,513 --> 00:39:03,341 Sebastian, did Ellie ever tell you 1052 00:39:03,341 --> 00:39:04,646 about the guy she dated, 1053 00:39:04,646 --> 00:39:07,388 during her semester abroad in Scotland? 1054 00:39:07,388 --> 00:39:09,695 Is that Andy-frickin'-Murray? 1055 00:39:09,695 --> 00:39:12,524 Never lost a match with him on my team. 1056 00:39:12,524 --> 00:39:14,003 I wonder what he's up to. 1057 00:39:14,003 --> 00:39:15,527 Hey, you know what? I'll play with my weak hand. 1058 00:39:15,527 --> 00:39:17,833 That way you guys have, like, a shot. 1059 00:39:19,661 --> 00:39:21,097 Is that cool, Mom? 1060 00:39:21,097 --> 00:39:23,361 Until then, my nightmare had been 1061 00:39:23,361 --> 00:39:26,146 letting my father see me enjoy this life. 1062 00:39:33,240 --> 00:39:35,024 So, much like the kick serve 1063 00:39:35,024 --> 00:39:38,637 I learned from a Swedish pro named Johannes, 1064 00:39:38,637 --> 00:39:40,552 this would be the point 1065 00:39:40,552 --> 00:39:42,075 of no return. 1066 00:39:45,339 --> 00:39:46,558 Ooh! 1067 00:40:21,419 --> 00:40:22,637 Oh, no. 1068 00:40:23,159 --> 00:40:24,509 You see this? 1069 00:40:24,509 --> 00:40:27,076 Crud! I am calm! 1070 00:40:27,076 --> 00:40:28,382 Serve! 1071 00:40:31,167 --> 00:40:32,952 This a game you can pick up fast? 1072 00:40:34,344 --> 00:40:35,433 Not at this level. 1073 00:40:41,090 --> 00:40:42,178 My, my. 1074 00:40:42,178 --> 00:40:44,746 Sebastian, he's got game. 1075 00:40:44,746 --> 00:40:46,139 You must be very proud. 1076 00:41:03,635 --> 00:41:05,637 Lucky! Are you okay? 1077 00:41:05,637 --> 00:41:06,986 No, I'm not okay. 1078 00:41:06,986 --> 00:41:08,901 So sorry, Luck. 1079 00:41:08,901 --> 00:41:11,077 Oh, that's okay, Sebastian. 1080 00:41:11,077 --> 00:41:12,513 I'm sure it was an accident. 1081 00:41:12,513 --> 00:41:13,645 Oh, my God. 1082 00:41:13,645 --> 00:41:15,211 Quick! Bill! 1083 00:41:15,211 --> 00:41:18,388 Get a small cup of ice water for his testes. 1084 00:41:18,388 --> 00:41:19,607 Here. What? 1085 00:41:19,607 --> 00:41:21,043 I'm way ahead of you, sweetheart. 1086 00:41:21,043 --> 00:41:22,392 No, no, no. no. - Here, this is ice tea. 1087 00:41:22,392 --> 00:41:23,393 - It's not gonna hurt. - Easy, son. Rest easy. 1088 00:41:23,393 --> 00:41:24,743 - Nice and cool. - We're gonna cool 1089 00:41:24,743 --> 00:41:26,614 my future - grandbabies. - Stop what you're doing! 1090 00:41:26,614 --> 00:41:28,050 - No, no, no. - No, no, no. Do you want me 1091 00:41:28,050 --> 00:41:29,182 to squeeze one, sweetie... Take these. Hold these. 1092 00:41:29,182 --> 00:41:30,400 ...just to feel how it is? Trust me. 1093 00:41:30,400 --> 00:41:32,054 Don't touch. Oh, okay. 1094 00:41:32,054 --> 00:41:33,403 When did you learn to play tennis like that, anyway? 1095 00:41:33,403 --> 00:41:35,928 I took a few lessons for Ellie, all right? 1096 00:41:35,928 --> 00:41:37,016 It's not that big of a deal. 1097 00:41:37,016 --> 00:41:38,452 So how much this cost you? 1098 00:41:38,452 --> 00:41:40,323 To all the immigrant kids watching, 1099 00:41:40,323 --> 00:41:42,543 you know when you get that question, 1100 00:41:42,543 --> 00:41:44,327 you always give them the parent price. 1101 00:41:44,327 --> 00:41:45,415 Uh, $40. 1102 00:41:45,415 --> 00:41:46,895 Forty? You're telling me 1103 00:41:46,895 --> 00:41:47,983 you paid the price 1104 00:41:47,983 --> 00:41:49,158 of a long hair blowout 1105 00:41:49,158 --> 00:41:51,291 for somebody to teach you a game? 1106 00:41:51,291 --> 00:41:53,032 I mean, what am I gonna say? 1107 00:41:53,032 --> 00:41:55,164 Now, just imagine how he'd react if I told him 1108 00:41:55,164 --> 00:41:57,210 the actual price was 80. 1109 00:41:57,210 --> 00:41:59,908 Next thing I know, you'll be serving me the bird crackers. 1110 00:42:01,301 --> 00:42:03,042 Son, serve me the bird crackers. Come on. 1111 00:42:03,956 --> 00:42:05,697 It's a hobby, Dad. 1112 00:42:05,697 --> 00:42:07,568 A lot of people have them, all right? 1113 00:42:07,568 --> 00:42:09,004 Stop acting like I'm joining a cult. 1114 00:42:09,004 --> 00:42:10,092 Well, it is a cult. 1115 00:42:10,092 --> 00:42:11,354 Only instead of Kool-Aid, 1116 00:42:11,354 --> 00:42:12,530 they're serving champagne. 1117 00:42:12,530 --> 00:42:14,532 Mmm. 1118 00:42:16,577 --> 00:42:17,622 Welcome, everyone, 1119 00:42:17,622 --> 00:42:18,710 to the S.S. Collins. 1120 00:42:18,710 --> 00:42:21,495 Uh, fun fact. I won this boat, 1121 00:42:21,495 --> 00:42:22,844 playing backgammon 1122 00:42:22,844 --> 00:42:24,237 with Sir Richard Branson. 1123 00:42:24,237 --> 00:42:26,631 So for us, every voyage is a Virgin one. 1124 00:42:28,197 --> 00:42:29,416 - Good one, sir. - Thanks. 1125 00:42:29,416 --> 00:42:31,113 Now, Bill and I have been talking, 1126 00:42:31,113 --> 00:42:33,638 and we were going to wait 1127 00:42:33,638 --> 00:42:35,335 until the weekend to do this, 1128 00:42:35,335 --> 00:42:37,511 but, um, now we're just too excited. 1129 00:42:37,511 --> 00:42:39,687 All right. Uh, Sebastian, 1130 00:42:39,687 --> 00:42:42,255 as a lifelong hotelier, 1131 00:42:42,255 --> 00:42:44,605 and the father of the most wonderful girl 1132 00:42:44,605 --> 00:42:46,259 in the world... I love you. 1133 00:42:46,259 --> 00:42:48,348 ...I have to say, it just killed me... 1134 00:42:48,348 --> 00:42:50,393 killed... Kills us. Kills us. Yes. 1135 00:42:50,393 --> 00:42:51,656 We are dead, 1136 00:42:51,656 --> 00:42:54,093 thinking that you are working 1137 00:42:54,093 --> 00:42:55,790 for our biggest competitor. 1138 00:42:55,790 --> 00:42:57,400 So... Go on. 1139 00:42:57,400 --> 00:42:58,532 Shall I?Yes. 1140 00:42:58,532 --> 00:43:00,142 - Right now? - Please do. 1141 00:43:00,142 --> 00:43:01,883 Okay. - Daddy, what is it? 1142 00:43:01,883 --> 00:43:05,365 On behalf of the Collins Hotel group, 1143 00:43:05,365 --> 00:43:07,193 I would love you to join our side 1144 00:43:07,193 --> 00:43:09,238 and become the new face 1145 00:43:09,238 --> 00:43:12,198 of the luxurious five-star experience, 1146 00:43:12,198 --> 00:43:14,113 that is... drum roll, 1147 00:43:16,637 --> 00:43:18,030 The Barrymore Hotel. 1148 00:43:18,030 --> 00:43:19,118 Go on. Yeah. 1149 00:43:19,118 --> 00:43:20,293 Not kidding. 1150 00:43:20,293 --> 00:43:22,164 What? Are you serious? 1151 00:43:22,164 --> 00:43:23,601 Not kidding. Very serious. 1152 00:43:23,601 --> 00:43:25,254 This is your signature property. 1153 00:43:25,254 --> 00:43:26,995 The most prestigious hotel in D.C. 1154 00:43:26,995 --> 00:43:28,257 Yeah, it better be. We just spent 1155 00:43:28,257 --> 00:43:30,477 $240 million restoring it. 1156 00:43:30,477 --> 00:43:33,219 Uh, Dad, I thought you were saving that job for me. 1157 00:43:33,219 --> 00:43:34,873 We regularly drug test. 1158 00:43:34,873 --> 00:43:36,962 Oh. Okay then. 1159 00:43:36,962 --> 00:43:39,051 Mom, Dad, this is so generous. 1160 00:43:39,051 --> 00:43:40,487 We wouldn't do this 1161 00:43:40,487 --> 00:43:43,098 if we didn't think he was perfect for the job. 1162 00:43:43,098 --> 00:43:45,144 Come on, let's go get some more champagne. 1163 00:43:45,144 --> 00:43:46,232 - Let's take a look. - I mean... 1164 00:43:46,232 --> 00:43:47,537 Let's take a look at... What? 1165 00:43:47,537 --> 00:43:48,713 ...what you're... I can't believe this. 1166 00:43:48,713 --> 00:43:49,888 ...going to be the new manager of. 1167 00:43:49,888 --> 00:43:51,541 Now this was built in 1896. 1168 00:43:51,541 --> 00:43:53,369 It's been completely restored, 1169 00:43:53,369 --> 00:43:55,937 down to the dings and the doorknobs. 1170 00:43:57,591 --> 00:43:59,593 Take a look. No, they're all... Everything. 1171 00:43:59,593 --> 00:44:02,074 Hey, uh, Doug, what are you doing? 1172 00:44:02,074 --> 00:44:04,206 Just getting the blood flowing. 1173 00:44:05,555 --> 00:44:06,731 Your face is getting a little red. 1174 00:44:07,470 --> 00:44:09,342 Yeah, I... I feel dizzy. 1175 00:44:10,169 --> 00:44:11,953 Yeah, me, too. 1176 00:44:11,953 --> 00:44:14,086 Oh, that's the Jackie Onassis boardroom. 1177 00:44:14,086 --> 00:44:16,131 She was never there, but we wish she would have been. 1178 00:44:17,872 --> 00:44:20,353 This painting in the lobby here looks... 1179 00:44:20,353 --> 00:44:23,748 Yes, we... There's art. Oh, we have... Yes. 1180 00:44:23,748 --> 00:44:25,271 This painting in the board room. 1181 00:44:25,271 --> 00:44:27,534 Yeah, there's a painting. I recognize that sunset. 1182 00:44:27,534 --> 00:44:29,710 Wait a minute. Did you buy Ellie's paintings? 1183 00:44:29,710 --> 00:44:32,147 - Does she know? - We bought a few 1184 00:44:32,147 --> 00:44:33,975 through this designer that we know, 1185 00:44:33,975 --> 00:44:35,542 it's no big deal. 1186 00:44:35,542 --> 00:44:38,763 We're supporting our baby's dream. 1187 00:44:38,763 --> 00:44:41,026 Let's close this. 1188 00:44:41,026 --> 00:44:42,331 A little champagne. 1189 00:44:42,331 --> 00:44:44,072 Oh, good. I'll have some. I'll have some. 1190 00:44:44,072 --> 00:44:45,465 Excuse me, Daddy. 1191 00:44:47,554 --> 00:44:49,556 So, what are you thinking? 1192 00:44:49,556 --> 00:44:51,558 Yeah, well, Bill, that's a very generous offer, 1193 00:44:51,558 --> 00:44:54,213 but Sebastian obviously has to think about that. 1194 00:44:54,213 --> 00:44:55,388 Right? 1195 00:44:55,388 --> 00:44:56,998 Yeah. Absolutely, Dad. Yeah. 1196 00:44:56,998 --> 00:44:59,305 Of course. This would be 1197 00:44:59,305 --> 00:45:00,741 a big move for everyone, 1198 00:45:00,741 --> 00:45:03,396 so please, take your time. 1199 00:45:03,396 --> 00:45:04,876 - Talk it over. - Right. 1200 00:45:04,876 --> 00:45:06,529 And then tell us what day to send the moving trucks. 1201 00:45:08,227 --> 00:45:10,185 Dad. 1202 00:45:10,185 --> 00:45:13,101 Oh, this is so cool! So cool! 1203 00:45:13,101 --> 00:45:14,668 Hey, as a possible member 1204 00:45:14,668 --> 00:45:17,932 of our, um, family company, 1205 00:45:17,932 --> 00:45:19,934 how about we celebrate with a little jet-booting, huh? 1206 00:45:19,934 --> 00:45:21,719 Oh, that sounds great, man. Count me in. 1207 00:45:21,719 --> 00:45:23,155 What's jet-booting? 1208 00:45:24,591 --> 00:45:27,202 Whoo! Whoa! 1209 00:45:27,202 --> 00:45:29,335 This is amazing, Lucky! 1210 00:45:29,335 --> 00:45:30,858 All right! Look at you. 1211 00:45:30,858 --> 00:45:33,078 Baby, you're doing so good! 1212 00:45:33,078 --> 00:45:35,558 I feel like I'm flying! Whoa! 1213 00:45:35,558 --> 00:45:37,604 - Use your core! - I'm actually smiling. 1214 00:45:37,604 --> 00:45:39,824 This smile is real. 1215 00:45:41,042 --> 00:45:42,391 Salvo, would you like 1216 00:45:42,391 --> 00:45:44,176 to borrow some swim trunks? 1217 00:45:44,176 --> 00:45:45,960 We have a hot tub upstairs. 1218 00:45:45,960 --> 00:45:47,570 I'm fine. I'm trying to watch him. 1219 00:45:47,570 --> 00:45:49,050 - Oh. - Make sure he's okay. 1220 00:45:50,269 --> 00:45:52,053 Hey... 1221 00:45:52,053 --> 00:45:53,838 I just wanted to thank you 1222 00:45:53,838 --> 00:45:57,015 for looking after Ellie in Chicago. 1223 00:45:57,015 --> 00:45:59,626 We feel so lucky she's met your son. 1224 00:45:59,626 --> 00:46:01,410 Well, he's a good kid. Thanks. 1225 00:46:01,410 --> 00:46:02,890 I'm king of the world! 1226 00:46:02,890 --> 00:46:04,370 Always out making an ass of himself. 1227 00:46:07,416 --> 00:46:09,114 I know you guys are close, 1228 00:46:09,114 --> 00:46:12,552 so if they do end up in D.C., 1229 00:46:12,552 --> 00:46:15,598 I promise we will take good care of him. 1230 00:46:15,598 --> 00:46:17,078 Honestly, I wouldn't get your hopes up. 1231 00:46:17,078 --> 00:46:19,951 I can't imagine Sebastian ever leaving Chicago or me. 1232 00:46:19,951 --> 00:46:21,387 'Cause I'm the only family he's got. 1233 00:46:22,997 --> 00:46:25,173 I used to say the same thing about Ellie. 1234 00:46:28,786 --> 00:46:31,005 Hey, Dad! Check it out! I can dive! 1235 00:46:34,269 --> 00:46:37,011 Look at that. He's very athletic. He's quite good. 1236 00:46:37,011 --> 00:46:38,534 Dad! 1237 00:46:38,534 --> 00:46:39,666 Yeah, he gets it from my side. 1238 00:46:39,666 --> 00:46:40,885 Whoa! 1239 00:46:42,190 --> 00:46:43,713 Whoo-hoo! 1240 00:46:43,713 --> 00:46:44,845 Look at this! 1241 00:46:46,847 --> 00:46:48,196 - Oh, my gosh! - Oh, shit! 1242 00:46:49,589 --> 00:46:51,112 Sebastian, - your suit! - It's Versace. 1243 00:46:51,112 --> 00:46:52,287 Do you like it? 1244 00:46:52,287 --> 00:46:54,420 No, you moron! It's not up! 1245 00:46:54,420 --> 00:46:56,726 - Look down! Oh, God! 1246 00:46:56,726 --> 00:46:59,033 Hey, Bubba Gump! Nice shrimp! 1247 00:46:59,033 --> 00:47:00,861 I can't get it. Whoa! 1248 00:47:01,340 --> 00:47:02,602 Oh! 1249 00:47:02,602 --> 00:47:03,690 Whoa! You good, man? 1250 00:47:05,431 --> 00:47:06,780 What's the matter with you? 1251 00:47:06,780 --> 00:47:08,260 Pull up your pants! 1252 00:47:08,260 --> 00:47:09,914 I can't reach it. 1253 00:47:09,914 --> 00:47:12,655 Hey, what the hell do I do? 1254 00:47:12,655 --> 00:47:14,919 Son, your sail is at half-mast. 1255 00:47:14,919 --> 00:47:17,399 Oh, no, no, uh, it looks like it's full mast. 1256 00:47:17,399 --> 00:47:18,574 Oh, no! 1257 00:47:21,926 --> 00:47:23,275 Sebastian! 1258 00:47:23,275 --> 00:47:24,885 No, no. Okay, don't... TIGGER: No! 1259 00:47:24,885 --> 00:47:26,060 - Stay down! - No, no. No. 1260 00:47:26,060 --> 00:47:27,801 Stay down. Stay down. No! 1261 00:47:27,801 --> 00:47:29,020 - Okay. Okay. - God! 1262 00:47:29,020 --> 00:47:30,760 All right, that is not appropriate. 1263 00:47:30,760 --> 00:47:33,154 I'm going to be sick. No, it's... 1264 00:47:33,154 --> 00:47:35,287 Honey, my mom can't unsee that. 1265 00:47:37,289 --> 00:47:39,378 Hey, Sea Bass! Say hi to TikTok. 1266 00:47:45,819 --> 00:47:47,038 Dad, what the hell you doing? 1267 00:47:47,038 --> 00:47:48,430 Packing. 1268 00:47:48,430 --> 00:47:50,476 I'm going back to Chicago tomorrow morning. 1269 00:47:50,476 --> 00:47:52,173 What, are you crazy? We're not leaving. 1270 00:47:52,173 --> 00:47:53,740 You didn't even give me the ring yet. 1271 00:47:53,740 --> 00:47:55,873 Trust me. What I saw today, 1272 00:47:55,873 --> 00:47:57,657 you don't come back from. 1273 00:47:57,657 --> 00:47:59,311 Oh, stop being so dramatic. 1274 00:47:59,311 --> 00:48:00,747 It was from far away. 1275 00:48:00,747 --> 00:48:01,966 Nobody saw much. 1276 00:48:01,966 --> 00:48:03,402 Yeah, that's for sure. 1277 00:48:03,402 --> 00:48:05,230 Look, I know I haven't seen you naked 1278 00:48:05,230 --> 00:48:07,101 since the delivery room, but is it possible 1279 00:48:07,101 --> 00:48:09,364 your pisellino hasn't even grown since then? 1280 00:48:09,364 --> 00:48:11,062 Would you put the suitcase away? 1281 00:48:11,062 --> 00:48:12,672 No, I'm gonna bring you home, 1282 00:48:12,672 --> 00:48:14,152 set you up with some Italian girls, 1283 00:48:14,152 --> 00:48:15,544 help you start over fresh. 1284 00:48:15,544 --> 00:48:17,633 And I even got a nice new hairstyle for you. 1285 00:48:17,633 --> 00:48:19,592 Dad, I'm in love with Ellie. That wouldn't change 1286 00:48:19,592 --> 00:48:22,029 if I accidentally showed my balls to the entire world. 1287 00:48:22,029 --> 00:48:23,770 Oh, is that what you got planned for tomorrow? 1288 00:48:23,770 --> 00:48:25,598 Son, you gotta stop pretending 1289 00:48:25,598 --> 00:48:27,861 that you fit in with these people, because you don't. 1290 00:48:27,861 --> 00:48:29,471 I'm not pretending. 1291 00:48:29,471 --> 00:48:31,256 Are you serious? I mean, every time you're with this family, 1292 00:48:31,256 --> 00:48:32,431 you make a fool of yourself. 1293 00:48:32,431 --> 00:48:33,911 Because you raised me 1294 00:48:33,911 --> 00:48:36,087 to be afraid of trying anything new. 1295 00:48:36,087 --> 00:48:38,045 I mean, God. Dad, listen, 1296 00:48:38,045 --> 00:48:40,787 I honestly... I was nervous to bring you here. 1297 00:48:40,787 --> 00:48:42,310 'Cause I knew you would just sit here, 1298 00:48:42,310 --> 00:48:44,182 and judge with your black shirt, 1299 00:48:44,182 --> 00:48:45,313 your zipper purse, 1300 00:48:45,313 --> 00:48:46,749 your resting bitch face. 1301 00:48:46,749 --> 00:48:48,577 Hey, I don't have resting bitch face. 1302 00:48:48,577 --> 00:48:50,579 We look like Italian gargoyles. 1303 00:48:50,579 --> 00:48:51,841 You look like you're gonna murder 1304 00:48:51,841 --> 00:48:53,974 the entire neighborhood. 1305 00:48:53,974 --> 00:48:55,715 You know what your problem is? 1306 00:48:55,715 --> 00:48:58,326 You're so negative, you can't let yourself enjoy anything, 1307 00:48:58,326 --> 00:48:59,849 so you think I can't either. 1308 00:49:00,894 --> 00:49:04,202 Dad, Ellie is my future. 1309 00:49:04,202 --> 00:49:07,640 And I'm gonna keep an open mind about everything. 1310 00:49:07,640 --> 00:49:09,903 Whoa, whoa. What do you mean, everything? 1311 00:49:09,903 --> 00:49:12,123 - Even the job offer? - Maybe. 1312 00:49:12,123 --> 00:49:13,167 It's a pretty good one. 1313 00:49:15,604 --> 00:49:16,692 Unbelievable. 1314 00:49:17,389 --> 00:49:18,390 Unbelievable. 1315 00:49:20,218 --> 00:49:21,349 Unbelievable. 1316 00:49:25,658 --> 00:49:27,616 First, your mother is taken away from me. 1317 00:49:27,616 --> 00:49:29,444 Now you wanna leave. 1318 00:49:29,444 --> 00:49:31,925 I'm not leaving you, Dad. 1319 00:49:31,925 --> 00:49:34,667 Ellie's the best thing that ever happened to me. 1320 00:49:34,667 --> 00:49:36,669 And when I get married, not if, 1321 00:49:36,669 --> 00:49:40,499 her family is going to be a big part of the package. 1322 00:49:40,499 --> 00:49:43,371 Now, I want you to be a part of my life. 1323 00:49:43,371 --> 00:49:45,678 But if that's gonna happen, you gotta give me some effort. 1324 00:49:45,678 --> 00:49:49,203 I wanna see the Salvo at the salon 1325 00:49:49,203 --> 00:49:51,379 that everybody loves. 1326 00:49:51,379 --> 00:49:52,772 And if I don't, I got no choice 1327 00:49:52,772 --> 00:49:54,208 but to leave you behind. 1328 00:49:59,605 --> 00:50:02,434 I don't know. How can you say that? How can you say that? 1329 00:50:02,434 --> 00:50:05,741 How could you say that to your father? 1330 00:50:07,526 --> 00:50:10,137 You got no respect for your family. 1331 00:50:10,137 --> 00:50:12,748 I got enough respect to know we could go to bed angry 1332 00:50:14,228 --> 00:50:16,752 but not stinky. Come on. 1333 00:50:18,711 --> 00:50:20,495 Now, come on, let's do our night spritz. 1334 00:50:27,807 --> 00:50:30,679 I miss you, and I wish you were here for so many reasons. 1335 00:50:30,679 --> 00:50:32,855 So many reasons, just... 1336 00:50:32,855 --> 00:50:35,554 For one, just tell me, am I being an asshole? 1337 00:50:35,554 --> 00:50:38,905 Are we really doing the right thing for our son? 1338 00:50:38,905 --> 00:50:41,647 Just give me some kind of sign, something. 1339 00:50:42,082 --> 00:50:43,431 Please? 1340 00:50:43,431 --> 00:50:44,998 Just let me know what you think. 1341 00:50:45,825 --> 00:50:47,609 I... I... 1342 00:50:47,609 --> 00:50:49,350 Give me some sign, honey. 1343 00:51:08,195 --> 00:51:09,849 I love you. 1344 00:51:09,849 --> 00:51:11,242 Hi, Doug. 1345 00:51:12,591 --> 00:51:14,419 - Hello. - What are you doing? 1346 00:51:14,419 --> 00:51:16,769 I was just serenading the peacocks. 1347 00:51:17,509 --> 00:51:18,597 Oh. 1348 00:51:21,556 --> 00:51:23,428 Would you be open enough 1349 00:51:23,428 --> 00:51:26,257 to doing a healing session with me? 1350 00:51:26,257 --> 00:51:27,345 A healing session? 1351 00:51:27,345 --> 00:51:29,216 It'll be very beneficial for you. 1352 00:51:31,218 --> 00:51:32,350 Well, that's a nice offer, 1353 00:51:32,350 --> 00:51:33,742 but I don't know if I even know 1354 00:51:33,742 --> 00:51:35,004 what you're talking about. 1355 00:51:35,004 --> 00:51:38,225 Well, just start by shutting your eyes, 1356 00:51:39,096 --> 00:51:40,793 and then, really, just focus 1357 00:51:40,793 --> 00:51:42,447 on your breathing. 1358 00:51:42,447 --> 00:51:43,578 In your nose. 1359 00:51:44,362 --> 00:51:45,450 Out your nose. 1360 00:51:46,364 --> 00:51:48,888 And if you can, 1361 00:51:48,888 --> 00:51:52,674 really try to connect to that little Salvo, 1362 00:51:52,674 --> 00:51:54,981 that was afraid when you were young. 1363 00:51:56,243 --> 00:51:58,245 I don't even know where he is anymore. 1364 00:51:58,245 --> 00:52:00,160 That's so long ago. 1365 00:52:00,160 --> 00:52:02,423 You know, I'm in another... I'm in another life. 1366 00:52:04,512 --> 00:52:07,254 Let me help you find him, okay? 1367 00:52:07,254 --> 00:52:08,777 Just stay with your breath. 1368 00:52:16,524 --> 00:52:18,831 - Heal, little Salvo. - Okay, I feel better. 1369 00:52:20,398 --> 00:52:21,747 - You do? - Mmm-hmm. 1370 00:52:21,747 --> 00:52:23,096 - Yeah. Thanks. - Okay. 1371 00:52:23,096 --> 00:52:24,880 I'm gonna go to sleep. Okay. 1372 00:52:24,880 --> 00:52:26,012 - Thank you. - Good night. 1373 00:52:26,012 --> 00:52:27,666 Good night. Good night, Doug. 1374 00:52:27,666 --> 00:52:29,146 I'm glad I could help. Thank you. Yeah. 1375 00:52:29,146 --> 00:52:31,452 Thank you. Big help. 1376 00:52:33,324 --> 00:52:35,543 Yesterday was a day of regrettable firsts. 1377 00:52:36,414 --> 00:52:37,806 I yelled at my father 1378 00:52:37,806 --> 00:52:40,983 and I showed my balls to my future in-laws. 1379 00:52:40,983 --> 00:52:42,071 But who knows? 1380 00:52:42,071 --> 00:52:44,030 Maybe everybody forgot? 1381 00:52:44,030 --> 00:52:46,859 Well, there's the big swimmer. 1382 00:52:46,859 --> 00:52:48,382 Hey, did you see the full moon last night? 1383 00:52:48,382 --> 00:52:50,167 Okay. Just... I'm talking about your butt. 1384 00:52:50,167 --> 00:52:51,951 All right. Ignore him. 1385 00:52:51,951 --> 00:52:53,692 His butt cheeks - are the full moon. - Yes, I understand. 1386 00:52:53,692 --> 00:52:56,216 Um, how you doing, kiddo? 1387 00:52:56,216 --> 00:52:58,175 - I'm all right. Good. 1388 00:52:58,175 --> 00:52:59,915 - Have you seen my dad? Yes. 1389 00:52:59,915 --> 00:53:01,482 He is out taking a walk 1390 00:53:01,482 --> 00:53:02,875 with Ellie, Doug and Tigger. 1391 00:53:02,875 --> 00:53:04,268 - A walk? Yes, he was... 1392 00:53:04,268 --> 00:53:05,617 he was... Well, here. 1393 00:53:05,617 --> 00:53:06,879 - Speak of the devil. So I says to him... 1394 00:53:06,879 --> 00:53:08,924 I says, "Why would I buy you a skateboard 1395 00:53:08,924 --> 00:53:09,969 "when I can build you one?" 1396 00:53:09,969 --> 00:53:13,190 Holy Mother of God. 1397 00:53:13,190 --> 00:53:14,408 Sleepy head, I was just telling 'em 1398 00:53:14,408 --> 00:53:15,627 about the time I gave you a skateboard 1399 00:53:15,627 --> 00:53:16,715 for Christmas. You remember that? 1400 00:53:16,715 --> 00:53:18,195 Ah, I remember that. Yeah. 1401 00:53:18,195 --> 00:53:19,674 What time did you get up anyway? 1402 00:53:19,674 --> 00:53:21,198 I got up early. I didn't want to wake you, 1403 00:53:21,198 --> 00:53:22,286 so I snuck out, 1404 00:53:22,286 --> 00:53:24,331 did my laundry, watched TV, 1405 00:53:24,331 --> 00:53:26,028 fixed one of their bannisters, 1406 00:53:26,028 --> 00:53:27,465 reorganized the spice rack. 1407 00:53:27,465 --> 00:53:28,553 Then when the sun came up, 1408 00:53:28,553 --> 00:53:30,294 I started making breakfast. 1409 00:53:30,294 --> 00:53:32,121 Then I went for a walk to get to know the family. 1410 00:53:32,121 --> 00:53:33,471 Good people, these Collins. 1411 00:53:33,471 --> 00:53:35,864 Good people. Even the commie. 1412 00:53:35,864 --> 00:53:37,170 Oh, I'm a socialist. 1413 00:53:37,170 --> 00:53:38,650 Well, whatever you say, Che Guevara. 1414 00:53:38,650 --> 00:53:40,739 Oh, that's funny. 1415 00:53:42,480 --> 00:53:44,830 Get over here. 1416 00:53:44,830 --> 00:53:46,701 - What the hell's going on? - What do you mean, what's going on? 1417 00:53:46,701 --> 00:53:48,137 I'm doing what you asked me to do. 1418 00:53:48,137 --> 00:53:49,835 Making an effort, like you asked. 1419 00:53:49,835 --> 00:53:52,229 Okay. No, I appreciate it. But Jesus, the shorts. 1420 00:53:52,229 --> 00:53:53,360 Yeah. So what? 1421 00:53:53,360 --> 00:53:54,666 I've never seen your legs before. 1422 00:53:54,666 --> 00:53:56,015 Yeah, you haven't. 1423 00:53:56,015 --> 00:53:57,321 That's right. They're not too bad. 1424 00:53:57,321 --> 00:53:58,844 They look like pretzel sticks in socks. 1425 00:53:58,844 --> 00:54:00,149 Don't blame me. This is what 1426 00:54:00,149 --> 00:54:01,368 these people gave me, you know? 1427 00:54:01,368 --> 00:54:04,458 What can I tell you? I want to join the fun. 1428 00:54:04,458 --> 00:54:06,373 And I feel great, and I can't wait 1429 00:54:06,373 --> 00:54:07,809 to see what the universe suggests 1430 00:54:07,809 --> 00:54:09,681 after I opened my eyes. 1431 00:54:09,681 --> 00:54:11,813 We did a healing session together. 1432 00:54:11,813 --> 00:54:14,381 Yeah. Little Salvo's not afraid anymore. 1433 00:54:14,381 --> 00:54:16,427 - Little Salvo? - Yeah. 1434 00:54:16,427 --> 00:54:17,950 I hope everyone's ready 1435 00:54:17,950 --> 00:54:19,691 for Family Fun Day. 1436 00:54:19,691 --> 00:54:20,953 I am. I am. 1437 00:54:20,953 --> 00:54:22,171 Oh, what's Family Fun Day? 1438 00:54:22,171 --> 00:54:23,477 What? What, are you dense? 1439 00:54:23,477 --> 00:54:25,174 Everything you need to know is in the name. 1440 00:54:25,174 --> 00:54:26,567 - Duh! - Duh! 1441 00:54:26,567 --> 00:54:28,047 Okay. Salud! 1442 00:54:28,047 --> 00:54:29,309 What the hell is this? 1443 00:54:29,309 --> 00:54:30,441 It's a big 4th of July tradition. 1444 00:54:30,441 --> 00:54:32,878 There's relay races, and croquet, 1445 00:54:32,878 --> 00:54:34,140 and face painting, 1446 00:54:34,140 --> 00:54:35,533 and a hot dog eating contest. 1447 00:54:35,533 --> 00:54:36,882 It's just a lot of fun. 1448 00:54:43,062 --> 00:54:44,281 I know I'd asked the man 1449 00:54:44,281 --> 00:54:45,586 to start making an effort, 1450 00:54:45,586 --> 00:54:47,153 but this was crazy. 1451 00:54:47,153 --> 00:54:49,590 I felt like I created a monster. 1452 00:54:49,590 --> 00:54:51,723 Except instead of looking scary, 1453 00:54:51,723 --> 00:54:55,117 he was smiling, playing games, 1454 00:54:55,117 --> 00:54:57,424 dressing like the American flag. 1455 00:54:57,424 --> 00:54:58,643 All right! 1456 00:54:58,643 --> 00:55:00,906 The Maniscalcos. 1457 00:55:00,906 --> 00:55:02,995 What's your angle here? No angle. I'm happy. 1458 00:55:02,995 --> 00:55:04,344 I'm with my family. 1459 00:55:04,344 --> 00:55:05,432 Say, "Fireworks." 1460 00:55:05,432 --> 00:55:07,304 - Fireworks. - Chee... Say firework. 1461 00:55:11,438 --> 00:55:12,831 It's like bocce with sticks. 1462 00:55:15,703 --> 00:55:17,226 All right. You wanna take a look? 1463 00:55:18,619 --> 00:55:20,229 - Nice. - Right? 1464 00:55:20,229 --> 00:55:22,362 And the winner of this year's 1465 00:55:22,362 --> 00:55:25,757 4th of July hot dog eating contest is 1466 00:55:25,757 --> 00:55:28,020 Salvo Manisculo! 1467 00:55:35,810 --> 00:55:37,421 My father was having a great time, 1468 00:55:37,421 --> 00:55:40,337 and suddenly, I was the one who was uncomfortable. 1469 00:55:40,337 --> 00:55:42,382 I wanted him to make an effort, 1470 00:55:42,382 --> 00:55:44,515 not change who he was completely. 1471 00:55:48,432 --> 00:55:49,607 There he is. 1472 00:55:49,607 --> 00:55:51,478 The MVP. 1473 00:55:51,478 --> 00:55:53,175 What are you doing? Checking out your hardware? 1474 00:55:53,175 --> 00:55:55,308 I just figured out how these people stay so rich. 1475 00:55:55,308 --> 00:55:56,962 They do everything on the cheap. 1476 00:55:56,962 --> 00:55:58,529 Hear that? Plastic. 1477 00:56:00,052 --> 00:56:01,227 Huh. 1478 00:56:01,227 --> 00:56:03,055 Just enjoy it, will you, please? 1479 00:56:03,055 --> 00:56:05,013 I mean, you kicked some ass out there today, 1480 00:56:05,013 --> 00:56:06,798 and I think these people are starting to like you. 1481 00:56:06,798 --> 00:56:08,713 Yeah. Yeah. Come on. They're just being polite. 1482 00:56:08,713 --> 00:56:09,931 I'm serious. 1483 00:56:09,931 --> 00:56:12,978 Bill even has a signature scent now. 1484 00:56:12,978 --> 00:56:15,284 Oh, yeah? What brand? He won't divulge. 1485 00:56:15,284 --> 00:56:16,851 - He won't divulge? - Yeah. 1486 00:56:16,851 --> 00:56:18,897 - Salvo. I wanna smell that. 1487 00:56:18,897 --> 00:56:20,551 Oh, my God. I've been looking all over for you. 1488 00:56:20,551 --> 00:56:22,553 Um, so, my mom just got invited 1489 00:56:22,553 --> 00:56:24,555 to be on MSNBC in two hours. 1490 00:56:24,555 --> 00:56:25,686 - That's great. - Yes. 1491 00:56:25,686 --> 00:56:27,514 Well, it would be, but Tyler, 1492 00:56:27,514 --> 00:56:29,168 well, he's in Sedona, 1493 00:56:29,168 --> 00:56:31,692 and I have no one to do my hair. 1494 00:56:31,692 --> 00:56:32,954 So we were thinking 1495 00:56:32,954 --> 00:56:34,391 maybe you could help her out. 1496 00:56:34,391 --> 00:56:35,870 I mean, that's like asking Van Gogh 1497 00:56:35,870 --> 00:56:37,132 to draw a smiley face. 1498 00:56:37,132 --> 00:56:39,526 Yes! Great! 1499 00:56:39,526 --> 00:56:40,745 Mmm. 1500 00:56:43,138 --> 00:56:44,662 I'd be lying to you if I told you 1501 00:56:44,662 --> 00:56:47,534 I didn't have my eyes on your lustrous mane all weekend. 1502 00:56:47,534 --> 00:56:50,232 It's nice to finally get my hands up in here. 1503 00:56:50,232 --> 00:56:52,452 Hmm. I am very grateful. 1504 00:56:53,018 --> 00:56:54,149 Ah. 1505 00:56:55,716 --> 00:56:58,066 Are those cigars? 1506 00:56:58,719 --> 00:56:59,720 Yeah. 1507 00:57:01,461 --> 00:57:02,549 Can I have one? 1508 00:57:03,115 --> 00:57:04,464 Oh, boy. 1509 00:57:04,464 --> 00:57:06,292 This day just keeps getting better and better. 1510 00:57:06,292 --> 00:57:07,859 Of course, you can have one. 1511 00:57:07,859 --> 00:57:08,990 Be my guest. 1512 00:57:11,906 --> 00:57:12,951 Oh! 1513 00:57:14,039 --> 00:57:15,649 Only the best. Can I have one? 1514 00:57:15,649 --> 00:57:16,998 Oh, please join me. 1515 00:57:17,608 --> 00:57:18,609 Okay. 1516 00:57:22,090 --> 00:57:23,440 Fine. 1517 00:57:30,882 --> 00:57:31,970 Mmm. 1518 00:57:35,103 --> 00:57:36,191 You know, I never met a woman 1519 00:57:36,191 --> 00:57:39,456 who smokes cigars before. Yeah? 1520 00:57:39,456 --> 00:57:42,023 I got hooked in the Navy. Wait a minute. 1521 00:57:42,023 --> 00:57:44,461 - You're military? - Mmm-hmm. 1522 00:57:44,461 --> 00:57:46,898 I thought you went to one of those Ivy places. 1523 00:57:46,898 --> 00:57:48,639 I enlisted after graduation. 1524 00:57:50,336 --> 00:57:52,904 I just felt a duty to my country. 1525 00:57:52,904 --> 00:57:55,123 But mostly, I did it to piss off my parents. 1526 00:57:56,560 --> 00:57:57,517 You? 1527 00:57:58,170 --> 00:57:59,388 Army. 1528 00:57:59,388 --> 00:58:00,607 Combat? 1529 00:58:00,607 --> 00:58:02,130 - Cook. - Ah! 1530 00:58:02,914 --> 00:58:04,306 Well, happy 4th to you. 1531 00:58:04,306 --> 00:58:07,092 You, too. Salud. 1532 00:58:07,092 --> 00:58:08,876 It's nice to have another actual vet 1533 00:58:08,876 --> 00:58:10,748 out here to celebrate. 1534 00:58:13,794 --> 00:58:14,969 Oh! 1535 00:58:29,462 --> 00:58:31,029 Hey. 1536 00:58:31,029 --> 00:58:32,596 - How's it going? - I can't hear anything. 1537 00:58:32,596 --> 00:58:34,511 So they're either getting along, 1538 00:58:34,511 --> 00:58:37,601 or they're quietly stabbing each other. 1539 00:58:37,601 --> 00:58:39,472 Listen, I have great news. 1540 00:58:39,472 --> 00:58:41,474 - What's up? - Okay. So, that decorator 1541 00:58:41,474 --> 00:58:43,824 that bought all my work, they've already placed all the pieces. 1542 00:58:43,824 --> 00:58:45,522 They can't say where for privacy reasons, 1543 00:58:45,522 --> 00:58:47,698 but it probably means that they're gonna want a lot more. 1544 00:58:47,698 --> 00:58:49,743 - That's great! - Isn't it? 1545 00:58:49,743 --> 00:58:51,919 Wait. Why is your voice going up? 1546 00:58:51,919 --> 00:58:52,964 Why does your face look like that? 1547 00:58:52,964 --> 00:58:54,835 What's going on? 1548 00:58:54,835 --> 00:58:55,923 Listen, babe, 1549 00:58:55,923 --> 00:58:58,317 I... 1550 00:58:58,317 --> 00:58:59,710 Voila. 1551 00:59:01,494 --> 00:59:04,192 Oh, what... What is this? What... 1552 00:59:05,454 --> 00:59:08,327 This isn't at all what I asked you to do. 1553 00:59:08,327 --> 00:59:11,635 Well, yeah. You see, I don't really do requests. 1554 00:59:11,635 --> 00:59:13,419 The way I work is, I look at your face, 1555 00:59:13,419 --> 00:59:16,074 I get a sense of your aura, who you are, 1556 00:59:16,074 --> 00:59:17,858 then I let that dictate the style 1557 00:59:17,858 --> 00:59:19,817 that your personality demands. 1558 00:59:19,817 --> 00:59:22,036 I am about to go on television, 1559 00:59:22,036 --> 00:59:24,952 and I just... I just wanted to look like myself. 1560 00:59:24,952 --> 00:59:26,606 Oh! 1561 00:59:26,606 --> 00:59:28,826 Bill, do I look horrible? 1562 00:59:29,653 --> 00:59:31,437 - No, no, no. No? 1563 00:59:31,437 --> 00:59:32,960 It is not horrible. It's... 1564 00:59:32,960 --> 00:59:35,963 - Ellie? - Um, I just feel like... 1565 00:59:35,963 --> 00:59:38,096 - I don't know what it is. - Dad, couldn't you just ditch 1566 00:59:38,096 --> 00:59:40,098 the aura crap, and give her what she wanted? 1567 00:59:40,098 --> 00:59:41,969 Whoa! That's like asking Caravaggio to go back in, 1568 00:59:41,969 --> 00:59:43,754 and retouch up the beheading of Holofernes. 1569 00:59:43,754 --> 00:59:44,972 - The what a... Who? - I don't do that. 1570 00:59:44,972 --> 00:59:46,495 Can we, as a family, please force Doug 1571 00:59:46,495 --> 00:59:48,149 to stop wearing that organic de... 1572 00:59:48,149 --> 00:59:50,108 Holy shit, Mom! 1573 00:59:50,108 --> 00:59:51,675 Oh. 1574 00:59:51,675 --> 00:59:53,198 Why do you have the exact same haircut as Salvo? 1575 00:59:53,198 --> 00:59:55,287 - That's it. - Oh, my God. 1576 00:59:55,287 --> 00:59:56,418 - I don't think so. You guys look like 1577 00:59:56,418 --> 00:59:57,898 those weird boy-girl twins 1578 00:59:57,898 --> 00:59:59,030 that, like, just dress the same. 1579 00:59:59,030 --> 01:00:00,814 Salvo, how could you do this to me? 1580 01:00:00,814 --> 01:00:03,121 Wait, wait, wait. First of all, I didn't realize 1581 01:00:03,121 --> 01:00:04,513 I was doing anything. 1582 01:00:04,513 --> 01:00:06,951 I mean, to me, you look powerful, gorgeous. 1583 01:00:06,951 --> 01:00:10,215 You look, dare I even say it, sexy. 1584 01:00:10,215 --> 01:00:11,303 Well, I am supposed to go 1585 01:00:11,303 --> 01:00:12,870 on TV in 10 minutes, 1586 01:00:12,870 --> 01:00:16,047 and you have made me look like a bitter old Italian man! 1587 01:00:16,961 --> 01:00:18,876 Everybody, please, get out. 1588 01:00:18,876 --> 01:00:20,965 Go, go, go, go, go. Sweetheart. 1589 01:00:20,965 --> 01:00:23,228 Mommy, maybe you... Get out! 1590 01:00:23,228 --> 01:00:25,099 With all due respect, Chris, 1591 01:00:25,099 --> 01:00:28,407 the existing policy has been working for two decades. 1592 01:00:28,407 --> 01:00:30,452 Why change now? 1593 01:00:30,452 --> 01:00:32,019 Ah, she's kicking ass. 1594 01:00:32,019 --> 01:00:33,630 She's pretty much talking about you. 1595 01:00:33,630 --> 01:00:35,196 Oh, stop being so dramatic. 1596 01:00:35,196 --> 01:00:37,546 You don't just make major decisions 1597 01:00:37,546 --> 01:00:39,723 based on instincts. 1598 01:00:39,723 --> 01:00:41,072 You've gotta listen 1599 01:00:41,072 --> 01:00:42,421 to the people you're servicing, 1600 01:00:42,421 --> 01:00:45,206 or someone's gonna end up dead. 1601 01:00:45,206 --> 01:00:46,860 All right. Yeah. Well, okay. 1602 01:00:46,860 --> 01:00:48,079 Maybe you got a point. Uh, Senator MacArthur, 1603 01:00:48,079 --> 01:00:49,863 I'm actually... I'm very sorry... 1604 01:00:49,863 --> 01:00:52,126 Sorry to cut you short. "Cut me short"? 1605 01:00:52,126 --> 01:00:54,085 Did you say "cut me short"? 1606 01:00:54,085 --> 01:00:57,175 Is that some kind of sick joke, Chris, huh? 1607 01:00:58,263 --> 01:00:59,873 Uh, as you can see, 1608 01:00:59,873 --> 01:01:01,527 uh, very strong feelings, 1609 01:01:01,527 --> 01:01:03,616 uh, coming out of this story. 1610 01:01:03,616 --> 01:01:05,966 We're gonna continue to follow its developments for you. 1611 01:01:05,966 --> 01:01:08,229 Listen, when this is all over, you better apologize. 1612 01:01:08,229 --> 01:01:09,666 Apologize? For what? 1613 01:01:09,666 --> 01:01:11,102 For what? She wanted a touch up. 1614 01:01:11,102 --> 01:01:12,364 You made her look like David Bowie. 1615 01:01:12,364 --> 01:01:14,235 What? Are you kidding me? I gave her a 'do 1616 01:01:14,235 --> 01:01:15,715 that was very age appropriate 1617 01:01:15,715 --> 01:01:18,326 and dignified. She should be thanking me. 1618 01:01:18,326 --> 01:01:19,806 I wouldn't hold my breath, Salvo. 1619 01:01:19,806 --> 01:01:21,112 Oh, is she really pissed off? 1620 01:01:21,547 --> 01:01:22,853 When I left, 1621 01:01:22,853 --> 01:01:24,768 she was googling homemade poisons. 1622 01:01:24,768 --> 01:01:26,378 I don't know if it was for Salvo or for herself. 1623 01:01:26,378 --> 01:01:28,032 - Oh. - I don't get it. 1624 01:01:28,032 --> 01:01:30,469 Most women would be honored to have their hair done 1625 01:01:30,469 --> 01:01:33,733 by East Chicago's three-time Hair Stylist of the Year. 1626 01:01:33,733 --> 01:01:35,387 That was in the 80's. 1627 01:01:35,387 --> 01:01:37,258 The 80's. So what? That's the golden age of hair. 1628 01:01:41,045 --> 01:01:42,960 Hi, Mom. 1629 01:01:42,960 --> 01:01:44,483 Would you go talk to her? Say something? 1630 01:01:44,483 --> 01:01:45,614 What am I going to say? 1631 01:01:45,614 --> 01:01:47,138 Just say something, all right? 1632 01:01:47,921 --> 01:01:49,270 Hey, uh, Tig. 1633 01:01:49,270 --> 01:01:51,142 Tig? Uh... 1634 01:01:51,142 --> 01:01:53,622 Tigger. Tigger, I just want 1635 01:01:53,622 --> 01:01:55,233 to say you looked so good 1636 01:01:55,233 --> 01:01:56,625 up there on the box. 1637 01:01:56,625 --> 01:01:58,802 Really, really. Very, very dignified. 1638 01:01:58,802 --> 01:02:00,107 "On the box?" 1639 01:02:00,107 --> 01:02:03,545 Get on your feet, and go over there. 1640 01:02:03,545 --> 01:02:05,025 - All right? - All right. 1641 01:02:05,025 --> 01:02:06,592 Uh, Tig, uh... 1642 01:02:07,332 --> 01:02:08,986 I just wanna... 1643 01:02:10,074 --> 01:02:11,858 tell you I'm sorry 1644 01:02:11,858 --> 01:02:14,861 for giving you a very high-quality hairdo 1645 01:02:14,861 --> 01:02:16,297 without your permission. 1646 01:02:17,429 --> 01:02:19,344 I heard the word "sorry." 1647 01:02:19,344 --> 01:02:21,302 But then you followed it up 1648 01:02:21,302 --> 01:02:23,870 with a compliment to yourself. 1649 01:02:23,870 --> 01:02:25,785 Well, if I'm being honest, I never gave that style 1650 01:02:25,785 --> 01:02:27,874 to anybody else before. 1651 01:02:27,874 --> 01:02:29,354 So I really think 1652 01:02:29,354 --> 01:02:30,834 your aura commands the respect 1653 01:02:30,834 --> 01:02:32,661 that I typically only reserve for myself. 1654 01:02:32,661 --> 01:02:35,795 So I am sorry that I, you know, 1655 01:02:35,795 --> 01:02:38,015 didn't do exactly what you asked for. 1656 01:02:38,711 --> 01:02:39,756 Thanks. 1657 01:02:49,461 --> 01:02:50,679 You know? Hey, you know what? 1658 01:02:50,679 --> 01:02:52,769 Let... Let me make 1659 01:02:52,769 --> 01:02:54,553 an offer. I would love to make 1660 01:02:54,553 --> 01:02:57,904 a full Italian dinner for everybody. 1661 01:02:57,904 --> 01:02:59,210 - That sounds so nice. - How about that? 1662 01:02:59,210 --> 01:03:00,602 And also as a thank you, 1663 01:03:00,602 --> 01:03:02,300 and with great appreciation, 1664 01:03:02,300 --> 01:03:04,868 for letting us stay in this beautiful home. 1665 01:03:04,868 --> 01:03:06,434 That won't be necessary. 1666 01:03:06,434 --> 01:03:08,306 We don't keep a lot of food here 1667 01:03:08,306 --> 01:03:10,787 and the markets are closed for the holiday. 1668 01:03:10,787 --> 01:03:12,136 Don't worry. 1669 01:03:12,136 --> 01:03:14,007 A Maniscalco always finds a way 1670 01:03:14,007 --> 01:03:15,443 to feed his family, right? 1671 01:03:15,443 --> 01:03:17,010 Yep. You got it. 1672 01:03:17,010 --> 01:03:18,620 I think it's a wonderful idea. 1673 01:03:18,620 --> 01:03:20,492 I mean, if you look like an Italian man, 1674 01:03:20,492 --> 01:03:22,320 why not eat like one, huh? 1675 01:03:22,320 --> 01:03:24,148 No, I mean, if you... I meant Italian... 1676 01:03:24,148 --> 01:03:25,802 Shut up, Bill. 1677 01:03:25,802 --> 01:03:28,413 I'll be sleeping on the couch tonight. 1678 01:03:35,289 --> 01:03:36,421 Everybody likes to talk 1679 01:03:36,421 --> 01:03:38,902 about how bad social media is. 1680 01:03:44,168 --> 01:03:45,343 But in this case, 1681 01:03:45,343 --> 01:03:47,998 it really worked out for my dad. 1682 01:03:47,998 --> 01:03:50,609 Senator Tigger MacArthur is going viral today, 1683 01:03:50,609 --> 01:03:53,264 and for the first time, for all the right reasons. 1684 01:03:53,264 --> 01:03:55,440 This new haircut is giving me like... 1685 01:03:55,440 --> 01:03:57,224 G.I. Jane two months out of boot camp. 1686 01:03:57,224 --> 01:03:58,835 It's giving me gender fluidity. 1687 01:03:58,835 --> 01:04:00,706 It's giving me fresh, hot, gorgeous. 1688 01:04:00,706 --> 01:04:01,968 Whoever did that haircut, 1689 01:04:03,317 --> 01:04:06,233 America thanks you. Ah! 1690 01:04:06,233 --> 01:04:08,975 Now that Tigger's approval rating was through the roof, 1691 01:04:08,975 --> 01:04:11,891 she was happy to let my dad back under hers. 1692 01:04:11,891 --> 01:04:15,286 So good. So, this is delicious. 1693 01:04:15,286 --> 01:04:16,940 I can't believe 1694 01:04:16,940 --> 01:04:18,202 that you put this all together 1695 01:04:18,202 --> 01:04:19,943 from what we have in the kitchen. 1696 01:04:19,943 --> 01:04:22,162 My guess is he raided the kitchen over at The Shack. 1697 01:04:22,162 --> 01:04:24,077 So, you might wanna call 1698 01:04:24,077 --> 01:04:26,166 Gloria over there, see if you got some inventory. 1699 01:04:26,863 --> 01:04:28,299 Mmm, mmm. 1700 01:04:28,299 --> 01:04:29,822 What do you call this again, Salvo? 1701 01:04:35,523 --> 01:04:36,829 It is delicious. 1702 01:04:36,829 --> 01:04:38,700 I'm going for seconds. Don't tell my trainer. 1703 01:04:38,700 --> 01:04:41,486 It's really good. I just wish you hadn't used my bowls. 1704 01:04:41,486 --> 01:04:43,618 Well, you know, I used your bowls, Doug, 1705 01:04:43,618 --> 01:04:46,186 because I wanted to add a special 1706 01:04:46,186 --> 01:04:49,711 spiritual reverberation to the meal. 1707 01:04:49,711 --> 01:04:52,018 So, that's why, - you know? - Okay. 1708 01:04:52,018 --> 01:04:53,846 - Yeah. - So, thank you 1709 01:04:53,846 --> 01:04:55,369 for that - contribution. - Okay. 1710 01:04:55,369 --> 01:04:57,458 Salvo, it's delicious. Delicious. 1711 01:04:57,458 --> 01:04:59,199 Listen, given everything you're doing for my son, 1712 01:04:59,199 --> 01:05:00,809 this is the least I can do. Oh. 1713 01:05:00,809 --> 01:05:03,638 And I just wanna say something that 1714 01:05:04,422 --> 01:05:05,771 my father used to say. 1715 01:05:09,731 --> 01:05:10,994 The translation is, 1716 01:05:10,994 --> 01:05:12,996 "The family isn't just one important thing, 1717 01:05:12,996 --> 01:05:14,780 "it's everything." 1718 01:05:14,780 --> 01:05:16,913 And I like to toast to that. Lovely. 1719 01:05:16,913 --> 01:05:18,827 Salud! Salud! 1720 01:05:18,827 --> 01:05:20,917 To everything. Salud. 1721 01:05:20,917 --> 01:05:22,527 - Cheers, everybody. Well said. 1722 01:05:22,527 --> 01:05:23,832 Watch it, watch it. 1723 01:05:23,832 --> 01:05:25,312 Oh, collision! 1724 01:05:25,312 --> 01:05:27,010 Cut him off. - Time for some more vino, huh? 1725 01:05:27,010 --> 01:05:29,055 Oh, yes. - When in Rome. 1726 01:05:29,055 --> 01:05:30,143 Because, you know, 1727 01:05:30,143 --> 01:05:31,362 you guys are Italian. 1728 01:05:33,799 --> 01:05:36,367 You got a problem - with Italians, Bill? - Yeah, Bill. 1729 01:05:41,546 --> 01:05:44,244 Who got you? Come on, Bill! 1730 01:05:44,244 --> 01:05:45,985 I thought he was serious. 1731 01:05:57,170 --> 01:05:58,955 What's this? 1732 01:05:58,955 --> 01:06:00,260 You know, just... 1733 01:06:00,260 --> 01:06:01,870 ...the sexiest way I can think of 1734 01:06:01,870 --> 01:06:03,133 to say thank you. 1735 01:06:03,133 --> 01:06:04,351 Here? Are you kidding me? 1736 01:06:04,351 --> 01:06:05,831 They're in the next room. 1737 01:06:05,831 --> 01:06:07,876 You know I'm a screamer. I know. 1738 01:06:07,876 --> 01:06:09,052 Just come over here. 1739 01:06:12,055 --> 01:06:14,405 Oh! Oh, yeah. 1740 01:06:20,063 --> 01:06:21,586 Hmm? 1741 01:06:23,892 --> 01:06:25,459 What, baby? What? - Oh, we got to go inside. 1742 01:06:25,459 --> 01:06:27,809 - I'm getting eaten alive. - What? What are you talking about? 1743 01:06:27,809 --> 01:06:28,985 - I saw a raccoon. - Is that a safe word? 1744 01:06:28,985 --> 01:06:29,942 There's raccoons everywhere. Raccoon? 1745 01:06:29,942 --> 01:06:31,726 - Yeah. - Where? What raccoon? 1746 01:06:31,726 --> 01:06:33,685 There's - some wildlife. - Honey, there's no raccoons. 1747 01:06:33,685 --> 01:06:35,208 Mmm. 1748 01:06:35,208 --> 01:06:37,776 Seeing my future in-laws eat 1749 01:06:37,776 --> 01:06:41,519 their family pet is is as close to an acid trip 1750 01:06:41,519 --> 01:06:43,260 as I ever wanna be. 1751 01:06:43,260 --> 01:06:44,826 Here comes the airplane. 1752 01:06:46,567 --> 01:06:48,482 Ah, no! 1753 01:06:48,482 --> 01:06:51,050 This Italian food's going to my head. 1754 01:06:59,711 --> 01:07:03,758 This was proof the man was diabolical. 1755 01:07:03,758 --> 01:07:05,717 I murdered Sergeant Feathers. 1756 01:07:12,419 --> 01:07:14,639 I can't believe 1757 01:07:14,639 --> 01:07:15,770 you fed 'em a peacock. 1758 01:07:15,770 --> 01:07:17,424 How could you do this? Easy. 1759 01:07:17,424 --> 01:07:19,687 My recipe called for chicken. All the stores were closed. 1760 01:07:19,687 --> 01:07:21,863 So what does a great chef do? He improvises. 1761 01:07:21,863 --> 01:07:23,648 By murdering their beloved mascot? 1762 01:07:23,648 --> 01:07:25,867 They still got three left. Are you kidding me? 1763 01:07:25,867 --> 01:07:27,391 Where we come from, it's called, 1764 01:07:27,391 --> 01:07:28,740 "You gotta do what you gotta do to feed the family." 1765 01:07:28,740 --> 01:07:30,524 It's called the peasant mentality. 1766 01:07:30,524 --> 01:07:31,743 Look around, Dad. 1767 01:07:31,743 --> 01:07:32,787 These people aren't peasants. 1768 01:07:32,787 --> 01:07:34,006 And you thought I was crazy 1769 01:07:34,006 --> 01:07:35,312 for worrying that you were gonna 1770 01:07:35,312 --> 01:07:37,923 make us look like some bad Italian stereotype? 1771 01:07:37,923 --> 01:07:39,794 Come on. You know I'm not doing that. 1772 01:07:39,794 --> 01:07:41,535 Are you blind? Look at... 1773 01:07:41,535 --> 01:07:43,015 We are in the woods 1774 01:07:43,015 --> 01:07:44,408 in the middle of the night 1775 01:07:44,408 --> 01:07:46,888 trying to get rid of a freakin' body. 1776 01:07:46,888 --> 01:07:48,020 That's right. 1777 01:07:48,020 --> 01:07:49,804 To help me get rid of the evidence. 1778 01:07:49,804 --> 01:07:51,589 Why does it seem like you've done this before? 1779 01:07:54,331 --> 01:07:55,593 - Stupid bird! - It's dead! 1780 01:07:55,593 --> 01:07:56,768 What are you doing? 1781 01:07:56,768 --> 01:07:58,117 Look at its feathers. 1782 01:08:04,950 --> 01:08:06,038 Night cologne? 1783 01:08:16,222 --> 01:08:18,442 Listen, son, 1784 01:08:18,442 --> 01:08:21,271 I was just trying to help you win this family over 1785 01:08:21,271 --> 01:08:23,751 by making a good meal, that's all. 1786 01:08:23,751 --> 01:08:25,057 Well, if this is your idea of help, 1787 01:08:25,057 --> 01:08:26,276 I think I'm good, Dad. 1788 01:08:26,754 --> 01:08:28,756 Jesus. 1789 01:08:28,756 --> 01:08:29,888 Why do I feel like you're trying 1790 01:08:29,888 --> 01:08:31,368 to wreck this for me? Wreck it? 1791 01:08:31,368 --> 01:08:33,544 I'm just making an effort like you asked me to do. 1792 01:08:33,544 --> 01:08:34,806 Well, it turns out the only thing worse 1793 01:08:34,806 --> 01:08:37,417 than you not trying is you trying. 1794 01:08:37,417 --> 01:08:39,680 Well, maybe to you, but to me, these people, 1795 01:08:39,680 --> 01:08:41,334 they seem to like me. Like you? 1796 01:08:41,334 --> 01:08:43,684 If I told these people the truth about what happened, 1797 01:08:43,684 --> 01:08:44,903 they'd never have us back here. 1798 01:08:48,820 --> 01:08:51,649 You know, why did I let Ellie convince me to bring you here? 1799 01:08:51,649 --> 01:08:53,085 What do you mean, "bring me here"? 1800 01:08:53,085 --> 01:08:54,695 You're the one who invited me, didn't you? 1801 01:08:54,695 --> 01:08:57,002 Yeah, I invited you to get grandma's ring. 1802 01:08:57,002 --> 01:08:59,396 I didn't know you were gonna spend the whole time sabotaging me. 1803 01:08:59,396 --> 01:09:01,006 What are you talking about, "sabotaging"? 1804 01:09:01,006 --> 01:09:02,442 How could you say that? 1805 01:09:02,442 --> 01:09:03,965 Everything I'm doing for you, 1806 01:09:03,965 --> 01:09:06,229 that I've ever done for you is for your own good, 1807 01:09:06,229 --> 01:09:07,839 to give you a better life. 1808 01:09:07,839 --> 01:09:09,667 You love to say that, but now that I'm gonna get it, 1809 01:09:09,667 --> 01:09:11,277 it's like you're trying to stop it. 1810 01:09:11,277 --> 01:09:13,105 Trying to stop what? 1811 01:09:13,105 --> 01:09:14,541 I'm trying to make sure that you don't make an ass out of yourself 1812 01:09:14,541 --> 01:09:16,021 by trying to be somebody you're not. 1813 01:09:16,021 --> 01:09:17,196 You're your own person. 1814 01:09:17,196 --> 01:09:18,719 You're your own man. Be your own man. 1815 01:09:18,719 --> 01:09:20,591 Otherwise, it's embarrassing. 1816 01:09:20,591 --> 01:09:22,070 Oh, man. You know what? 1817 01:09:22,070 --> 01:09:24,029 This is your problem. You're so focused 1818 01:09:24,029 --> 01:09:26,423 on other people being embarrassed, 1819 01:09:26,423 --> 01:09:29,382 you can't see who the most embarrassing person is. 1820 01:09:29,382 --> 01:09:30,514 It's you. 1821 01:09:32,124 --> 01:09:34,126 That's really what you think? 1822 01:09:38,043 --> 01:09:39,740 Let's just go to sleep, all right? 1823 01:10:15,733 --> 01:10:18,823 The next morning, it was the 4th of July, 1824 01:10:18,823 --> 01:10:20,172 which made sense, 'cause I was 1825 01:10:20,172 --> 01:10:22,914 finally getting my independence. 1826 01:10:22,914 --> 01:10:25,395 It was an amazing feeling. 1827 01:10:25,395 --> 01:10:28,006 But much like my signature scent, 1828 01:10:28,006 --> 01:10:29,529 it was a little bittersweet. 1829 01:10:31,575 --> 01:10:33,751 But this was the beginning of my new life. 1830 01:10:34,708 --> 01:10:37,015 And now that I had the ring, 1831 01:10:37,015 --> 01:10:38,712 it was time to make my move. 1832 01:10:44,892 --> 01:10:46,459 I've given this a lot of thought 1833 01:10:46,459 --> 01:10:48,113 over the last few days, 1834 01:10:48,113 --> 01:10:50,376 and on top of accepting 1835 01:10:50,376 --> 01:10:52,509 your very generous offer 1836 01:10:52,509 --> 01:10:55,207 to run the Barrymore Hotel, 1837 01:10:55,207 --> 01:10:58,210 I would also like to ask your permission 1838 01:10:58,210 --> 01:11:00,343 to propose to Ellie. 1839 01:11:02,649 --> 01:11:04,085 Oh. 1840 01:11:04,085 --> 01:11:06,087 Ah, that doesn't... 1841 01:11:07,263 --> 01:11:08,655 I... 1842 01:11:11,005 --> 01:11:13,007 We're kidding! 1843 01:11:14,835 --> 01:11:16,663 - We got him. - Ho! You should've seen 1844 01:11:16,663 --> 01:11:19,492 the look on your face. Priceless. 1845 01:11:19,492 --> 01:11:21,233 Our answer is an emphatic... 1846 01:11:21,233 --> 01:11:23,104 Yes! - Oh, God. 1847 01:11:23,104 --> 01:11:25,803 Gee, Sebastian, we just love you. 1848 01:11:25,803 --> 01:11:27,370 And we just... We cannot 1849 01:11:27,370 --> 01:11:29,067 wait for you and Ellie 1850 01:11:29,067 --> 01:11:30,764 to join the party in D.C. 1851 01:11:30,764 --> 01:11:33,201 Yes. And this is perfect. 1852 01:11:33,201 --> 01:11:36,204 We're doing our family Christmas card photo today. 1853 01:11:36,204 --> 01:11:38,598 You can propose there, and then be in it! 1854 01:11:38,598 --> 01:11:41,688 Oh, thank God. I was so nervous 1855 01:11:41,688 --> 01:11:43,908 how you guys would react to this, you know? 1856 01:11:43,908 --> 01:11:46,302 Especially, what's happened this weekend with my father. 1857 01:11:46,302 --> 01:11:49,305 No. That dinner was wonderful. 1858 01:11:52,612 --> 01:11:54,527 - Yeah. - Fantastic. Memorable. 1859 01:11:54,527 --> 01:11:56,268 Chicken al cavone. 1860 01:11:56,268 --> 01:11:58,357 Fantastic. 1861 01:11:58,357 --> 01:11:59,489 - Never had it. Terrific. 1862 01:11:59,489 --> 01:12:00,925 Yes. - Don't know what's in it. 1863 01:12:02,448 --> 01:12:04,145 What the hell kind of elf are you supposed to be? 1864 01:12:04,145 --> 01:12:07,235 I'm representing all the holiday traditions. 1865 01:12:07,235 --> 01:12:08,759 Nice. 1866 01:12:08,759 --> 01:12:10,195 You're as plump as a little partridge. 1867 01:12:10,195 --> 01:12:12,632 Yes. 1868 01:12:12,632 --> 01:12:14,330 Oh, oh. 1869 01:12:14,330 --> 01:12:15,679 Hey, you fit right in. 1870 01:12:15,679 --> 01:12:17,028 Uh, I don't know. 1871 01:12:17,028 --> 01:12:18,377 Can I propose first 1872 01:12:18,377 --> 01:12:19,944 and then put on the tree costume? 1873 01:12:21,162 --> 01:12:22,642 What's - the difference? - Oh, E... Ellie. 1874 01:12:22,642 --> 01:12:24,601 Ellie, where's your costume? We... We can't 1875 01:12:24,601 --> 01:12:25,819 do this without our reindeer. 1876 01:12:25,819 --> 01:12:27,386 I'm sorry, but I'm not gonna be taking 1877 01:12:27,386 --> 01:12:29,257 the photo this year, because I no longer 1878 01:12:29,257 --> 01:12:30,476 wanna be a part of this family. 1879 01:12:30,476 --> 01:12:33,000 Also, Sebastian isn't taking the job, 1880 01:12:33,000 --> 01:12:34,828 we are not moving to D.C. 1881 01:12:34,828 --> 01:12:36,221 and we're not gonna spend any more time 1882 01:12:36,221 --> 01:12:37,918 with these manipulators. So, let's go. 1883 01:12:37,918 --> 01:12:39,790 - What happened? - What's happened? 1884 01:12:39,790 --> 01:12:42,488 Dad, what do all of your hotels have in common? 1885 01:12:42,488 --> 01:12:44,925 Five-star experience at a three-star price. 1886 01:12:44,925 --> 01:12:48,059 No. The answer is 1887 01:12:48,059 --> 01:12:49,713 their lobby art. 1888 01:12:49,713 --> 01:12:50,844 - Oh. - Shall we start 1889 01:12:50,844 --> 01:12:52,280 with the Barrymore Hotel? Uh-oh. 1890 01:12:52,280 --> 01:12:53,978 - Shall we? Come on. - No, I don't need to see... 1891 01:12:53,978 --> 01:12:56,372 Oh, look. Do you notice anything familiar 1892 01:12:56,372 --> 01:12:57,808 - about the walls? - Well, no. 1893 01:12:57,808 --> 01:12:59,592 That's my painting, isn't it? 1894 01:12:59,592 --> 01:13:01,333 Well, what's that? My painting. 1895 01:13:01,333 --> 01:13:02,595 My painting. 1896 01:13:02,595 --> 01:13:04,728 Oh, yeah, my painting. All right. 1897 01:13:04,728 --> 01:13:07,078 It was your dad's idea! 1898 01:13:07,078 --> 01:13:08,471 - Wait. Just wait. - It was your dad's idea. 1899 01:13:08,471 --> 01:13:10,081 No. One second here. It was him. 1900 01:13:10,081 --> 01:13:11,604 I just wanna know how you found out. 1901 01:13:11,604 --> 01:13:13,171 Sebastian, did you tell her? 1902 01:13:14,955 --> 01:13:15,956 What? 1903 01:13:16,740 --> 01:13:18,176 You knew about this? 1904 01:13:19,656 --> 01:13:22,920 Well, no, I kind of saw... 1905 01:13:22,920 --> 01:13:25,313 I can't believe that you all did this to me. 1906 01:13:25,313 --> 01:13:27,228 Ellie, we can explain. 1907 01:13:27,228 --> 01:13:28,621 - We can explain. - No, Mom! 1908 01:13:28,621 --> 01:13:31,450 This whole time I thought I was selling my art 1909 01:13:31,450 --> 01:13:33,409 to this cool new designer, 1910 01:13:33,409 --> 01:13:35,585 when really my parents just hired them 1911 01:13:35,585 --> 01:13:36,673 to buy my work. 1912 01:13:36,673 --> 01:13:37,891 No, no, no, darling. 1913 01:13:37,891 --> 01:13:39,240 No, that's not... No. 1914 01:13:39,240 --> 01:13:41,808 Yes. Yes, that is technically true. 1915 01:13:41,808 --> 01:13:44,115 I thought I was killing it in the art world! 1916 01:13:44,115 --> 01:13:46,030 We just wanted you to get a jump-start 1917 01:13:46,030 --> 01:13:47,858 in a really, really rough business. 1918 01:13:47,858 --> 01:13:49,294 It's so terrible out there. You know how rough it is. 1919 01:13:49,294 --> 01:13:50,687 It's what you always do. You're always... 1920 01:13:50,687 --> 01:13:51,992 You're just stealing our lessons. 1921 01:13:51,992 --> 01:13:54,430 You bribe our way onto sports teams, 1922 01:13:54,430 --> 01:13:56,214 you rewrite our college essays, 1923 01:13:56,214 --> 01:13:58,129 you hire famous rappers 1924 01:13:58,129 --> 01:13:59,652 to emcee our birthday parties. 1925 01:13:59,652 --> 01:14:01,175 That was also - not my idea. - Okay. So what? 1926 01:14:01,175 --> 01:14:02,525 Now you don't like Warren G? 1927 01:14:02,525 --> 01:14:03,874 Look, you guys are great parents. 1928 01:14:03,874 --> 01:14:06,006 Don't let her guilt you into changing your ways. 1929 01:14:06,006 --> 01:14:07,921 All I have ever wanted was to feel like 1930 01:14:07,921 --> 01:14:10,271 I was accomplishing things on my own. 1931 01:14:12,186 --> 01:14:13,666 And I can't believe that you just didn't 1932 01:14:13,666 --> 01:14:14,798 say something to me. 1933 01:14:16,887 --> 01:14:18,715 Sweetheart, we, um... 1934 01:14:18,715 --> 01:14:21,413 Oh, my gosh. I told you. Well, yeah. 1935 01:14:26,287 --> 01:14:27,898 I'd been so focused on trying 1936 01:14:27,898 --> 01:14:29,943 to please Ellie's family, 1937 01:14:29,943 --> 01:14:32,685 that I lost sight of what I came here to do. 1938 01:14:32,685 --> 01:14:35,819 I had to find Ellie and make this right. 1939 01:14:35,819 --> 01:14:38,430 And I knew exactly where she'd be. 1940 01:14:38,430 --> 01:14:39,823 Permission to approach? 1941 01:14:59,190 --> 01:15:00,757 Place could use a remodel, huh? 1942 01:15:06,371 --> 01:15:08,199 I'm sorry. 1943 01:15:08,199 --> 01:15:09,592 I should've said something. 1944 01:15:10,506 --> 01:15:11,855 Yeah, you should have. 1945 01:15:13,900 --> 01:15:16,381 Is there anything I could do to make it up to you? 1946 01:15:16,381 --> 01:15:19,732 Just being in this family 1947 01:15:19,732 --> 01:15:21,995 is like bowling with bumpers. 1948 01:15:21,995 --> 01:15:23,344 It's like, 1949 01:15:23,344 --> 01:15:25,608 no matter what I try to do, 1950 01:15:25,608 --> 01:15:27,174 they're always setting up rails 1951 01:15:27,174 --> 01:15:28,524 to make sure that I win. 1952 01:15:28,524 --> 01:15:31,396 And sometimes, I just want to free bowl, 1953 01:15:31,396 --> 01:15:32,702 because then, that way 1954 01:15:32,702 --> 01:15:36,401 if I bowl a strike, then that's my strike. 1955 01:15:36,401 --> 01:15:38,446 But if I gutter it, then that's on me too. 1956 01:15:38,446 --> 01:15:39,796 I understand. 1957 01:15:39,796 --> 01:15:42,102 You want to work hard for your own success. 1958 01:15:42,102 --> 01:15:43,713 Yes. 1959 01:15:43,713 --> 01:15:46,063 Do you remember when you told me the story 1960 01:15:46,063 --> 01:15:48,239 about how Salvo taught you how to swim? 1961 01:15:48,239 --> 01:15:50,850 He dropped me in the middle of Lake Michigan in November. 1962 01:15:52,852 --> 01:15:54,985 Listen, I know he's a pain in the ass, 1963 01:15:56,595 --> 01:15:59,598 but he also raised you to be tough and resourceful. 1964 01:15:59,598 --> 01:16:02,427 And those are two things I really love about you. 1965 01:16:04,211 --> 01:16:05,735 And I kind of wish that my parents had 1966 01:16:05,735 --> 01:16:07,258 raised me more like that. 1967 01:16:08,781 --> 01:16:10,087 And that was the moment 1968 01:16:10,087 --> 01:16:13,569 everything finally started to make sense. 1969 01:16:13,569 --> 01:16:15,701 Here I was, planning to propose 1970 01:16:15,701 --> 01:16:18,312 to the girl of my dreams, 1971 01:16:18,312 --> 01:16:22,621 and I was gonna do it without the man who raised me? 1972 01:16:22,621 --> 01:16:25,493 I realized I had everything I wanted, 1973 01:16:25,493 --> 01:16:27,452 but not what I needed. 1974 01:16:27,452 --> 01:16:28,627 I gotta go do something first. 1975 01:16:30,194 --> 01:16:31,282 What? What? 1976 01:16:31,282 --> 01:16:32,979 Trust me. Meet me at dinner. 1977 01:16:35,547 --> 01:16:37,070 How's he doing back there? 1978 01:16:40,160 --> 01:16:42,032 Keep going, - bro, I'm fine. Okay. 1979 01:16:45,252 --> 01:16:47,428 There it is. That's it. 1980 01:16:47,428 --> 01:16:49,039 I got you, mi hermano. 1981 01:16:50,606 --> 01:16:51,737 You go get him. 1982 01:16:54,479 --> 01:16:56,829 Hey, stop! You can't be out here! 1983 01:16:56,829 --> 01:17:00,050 Sir, you have to get off the tarmac! Sir! 1984 01:17:00,050 --> 01:17:01,486 Stop the plane. 1985 01:17:15,587 --> 01:17:16,632 Son... 1986 01:17:18,198 --> 01:17:19,635 what are you doing? 1987 01:17:19,635 --> 01:17:21,375 You look like you swam here. 1988 01:17:21,375 --> 01:17:23,073 I came here to tell you 1989 01:17:23,073 --> 01:17:24,640 that you're stubborn, you're cheap, 1990 01:17:25,292 --> 01:17:26,990 you're obnoxious, 1991 01:17:26,990 --> 01:17:28,339 you're severely judgmental... 1992 01:17:28,339 --> 01:17:29,427 Wait, wait. This is what 1993 01:17:29,427 --> 01:17:30,646 I'm getting off the plane for? 1994 01:17:30,646 --> 01:17:32,256 Dad, but the truth is 1995 01:17:32,256 --> 01:17:35,563 all those quirks are part of what makes you the greatest dad 1996 01:17:35,563 --> 01:17:36,913 that I could ever hope for. 1997 01:17:38,436 --> 01:17:40,264 Okay. Now I'm listening. 1998 01:17:40,264 --> 01:17:42,222 Now, it ain't always easy being your son, 1999 01:17:42,222 --> 01:17:45,704 but the way you raised me made me the man I am today. 2000 01:17:45,704 --> 01:17:48,315 The same man, for whatever the reason, 2001 01:17:48,315 --> 01:17:50,056 Ellie seems to love. 2002 01:17:50,056 --> 01:17:52,363 Could never figure that one out, either, but you know... 2003 01:17:52,363 --> 01:17:53,451 You got your grandmother's ring. 2004 01:17:53,451 --> 01:17:54,670 What else you need from me? 2005 01:17:54,670 --> 01:17:57,150 I need you to be part of our lives, Dad. 2006 01:17:57,150 --> 01:17:58,499 But you said I was embarrassing. 2007 01:17:58,499 --> 01:17:59,979 You are. 2008 01:17:59,979 --> 01:18:01,633 You haven't changed one bit since I was a kid. 2009 01:18:01,633 --> 01:18:03,635 You know who did? I changed. 2010 01:18:03,635 --> 01:18:05,376 And I think somewhere along the way, 2011 01:18:06,159 --> 01:18:07,421 I forgot. 2012 01:18:08,553 --> 01:18:10,207 You're my hero, man. 2013 01:18:12,078 --> 01:18:15,038 - Stop. - No. You are. 2014 01:18:15,038 --> 01:18:16,779 All the stuff you sacrifice. 2015 01:18:16,779 --> 01:18:19,216 Everything that's good in my life, I owe it to you. 2016 01:18:20,130 --> 01:18:21,958 No. It's... it's... 2017 01:18:21,958 --> 01:18:24,743 It's that good things happen to good kids. 2018 01:18:24,743 --> 01:18:26,310 You're a good boy. 2019 01:18:26,310 --> 01:18:28,747 It's just that I've been acting crazier lately, 2020 01:18:28,747 --> 01:18:30,749 because... I... I... 2021 01:18:30,749 --> 01:18:33,796 I was so poor, for me to give you a better life, 2022 01:18:33,796 --> 01:18:35,275 and now that you're going to have it, 2023 01:18:35,275 --> 01:18:38,104 and I'm afraid that once you marry Ellie, 2024 01:18:38,104 --> 01:18:40,367 I'm gonna lose the only family I got. 2025 01:18:40,367 --> 01:18:41,978 Oh, Dad, you're not gonna lose me. Don't worry. 2026 01:18:41,978 --> 01:18:43,631 Stop... don't cry, Dad. 2027 01:18:43,631 --> 01:18:45,372 You're going to make me cry. Well, I can't help it. 2028 01:18:46,199 --> 01:18:47,984 I love you, man. 2029 01:18:47,984 --> 01:18:49,246 - I love you, Dad. - I love you too, kid. 2030 01:18:49,246 --> 01:18:50,421 Love you. 2031 01:18:58,081 --> 01:18:59,996 Are you crying? 2032 01:18:59,996 --> 01:19:01,214 - What? - Are you crying? 2033 01:19:01,214 --> 01:19:02,650 Hell, no. 2034 01:19:02,650 --> 01:19:05,088 I never cry! 2035 01:19:15,751 --> 01:19:16,839 Wow! 2036 01:19:18,188 --> 01:19:20,103 I don't know why I was so scared. 2037 01:19:21,582 --> 01:19:23,541 This is really beautiful. Yeah. 2038 01:19:24,977 --> 01:19:26,283 Oh, my God! We're going down! 2039 01:19:26,283 --> 01:19:27,719 - Oh, my God! - I'm just kidding. 2040 01:19:27,719 --> 01:19:29,677 I'm going to kill you, Luck! 2041 01:19:35,248 --> 01:19:36,684 Ladies and gentlemen, welcome 2042 01:19:36,684 --> 01:19:38,861 to this year's 4th of July clambake. 2043 01:19:38,861 --> 01:19:40,645 Well, so far, 2044 01:19:40,645 --> 01:19:42,778 a very pleasant evening. 2045 01:19:42,778 --> 01:19:45,084 Mmm-hmm. - Thank you, my darling. 2046 01:19:45,084 --> 01:19:46,564 Such a treat. 2047 01:19:46,564 --> 01:19:49,262 Hats off to that new chef, huh? 2048 01:19:49,262 --> 01:19:52,048 Outstanding. Of course, you can't go wrong with lobster. 2049 01:19:52,048 --> 01:19:53,223 Oh, sweetie, 2050 01:19:53,223 --> 01:19:55,094 did you lose your appetite? 2051 01:19:55,094 --> 01:19:56,095 Do you wanna buy me one? 2052 01:19:58,706 --> 01:20:00,186 All right, ladies and gentlemen. 2053 01:20:00,186 --> 01:20:02,232 I hope you brought your dancing shoes tonight... 2054 01:20:02,232 --> 01:20:03,668 Because... 2055 01:20:03,668 --> 01:20:05,975 Thank you, Mr. Woodrow. Because we've got a real treat 2056 01:20:05,975 --> 01:20:07,585 for you guys tonight. 2057 01:20:07,585 --> 01:20:10,370 Please welcome, all the way from Chicago, Illinois, 2058 01:20:10,370 --> 01:20:12,938 Sebastian Maniscalco. 2059 01:20:16,899 --> 01:20:19,597 Ellie Collins, you asked for this. 2060 01:20:19,597 --> 01:20:21,512 I wonder what this is about. I don't know. 2061 01:20:26,082 --> 01:20:27,953 Eleanor Mallory Collins. 2062 01:20:27,953 --> 01:20:29,259 What are you doing? 2063 01:20:30,956 --> 01:20:32,523 Exactly what I came here to do. 2064 01:20:34,786 --> 01:20:35,961 Now, my father said something 2065 01:20:35,961 --> 01:20:38,007 really profound this weekend. 2066 01:20:38,007 --> 01:20:40,705 It's an old Italian saying, 2067 01:20:42,185 --> 01:20:45,231 "Family isn't one important thing, 2068 01:20:47,059 --> 01:20:48,147 "it's everything." 2069 01:20:50,106 --> 01:20:52,195 Now, yeah, they could be embarrassing. 2070 01:20:53,152 --> 01:20:54,327 Smothering. 2071 01:20:54,327 --> 01:20:56,112 Sometimes maybe express their love 2072 01:20:56,112 --> 01:20:58,723 in ways that are pretty... Messed up. 2073 01:20:58,723 --> 01:21:00,159 Exactly. Yeah. 2074 01:21:01,900 --> 01:21:04,511 But at the end of the day they're... 2075 01:21:04,511 --> 01:21:06,862 they're just trying to do what's best for us. 2076 01:21:08,167 --> 01:21:09,603 Because they love us. 2077 01:21:12,476 --> 01:21:14,086 Now here, in this moment, 2078 01:21:14,086 --> 01:21:16,001 in front of our families... 2079 01:21:21,050 --> 01:21:22,225 Ellie... 2080 01:21:23,530 --> 01:21:24,836 will you marry me? 2081 01:21:26,925 --> 01:21:28,100 - Yes. Oh. 2082 01:21:42,375 --> 01:21:44,290 And there you have it, folks. 2083 01:21:44,290 --> 01:21:47,163 An atypical American love story 2084 01:21:47,163 --> 01:21:50,688 about a man reconnecting with his hero, 2085 01:21:50,688 --> 01:21:53,560 and two different brands of immigrant families 2086 01:21:53,560 --> 01:21:54,953 coming together. 2087 01:22:02,221 --> 01:22:03,701 Sebastian, are you sure 2088 01:22:03,701 --> 01:22:05,529 you won't reconsider our offer? 2089 01:22:05,529 --> 01:22:06,922 No, it's a generous offer. 2090 01:22:06,922 --> 01:22:08,445 - Yeah. - But Ellie and I decided 2091 01:22:08,445 --> 01:22:10,316 to stay in Chicago for at least a few more years. 2092 01:22:10,316 --> 01:22:11,578 Oh! - Yeah. 2093 01:22:11,578 --> 01:22:13,667 I'm not saying a word. Heartbreaking. 2094 01:22:13,667 --> 01:22:15,800 Dad, I was thinking since Sea Bass isn't... Yeah. 2095 01:22:15,800 --> 01:22:17,497 gonna take the job, I thought I could... 2096 01:22:18,237 --> 01:22:19,325 step up. 2097 01:22:20,848 --> 01:22:22,067 No more drugs? 2098 01:22:23,808 --> 01:22:25,679 Prescription? Mostly mine? 2099 01:22:25,679 --> 01:22:27,116 A dream come true. 2100 01:22:27,116 --> 01:22:29,118 All right. - Thank you. - That's my boy, Lucky. 2101 01:22:29,118 --> 01:22:30,728 I'm running a hotel. 2102 01:22:30,728 --> 01:22:32,425 - Hi. - Hi, everybody. 2103 01:22:32,425 --> 01:22:34,732 Um, I'd like you to meet my girlfriend, Michelle. 2104 01:22:34,732 --> 01:22:36,081 - Hello. - Hi, I'm Ellie. 2105 01:22:36,081 --> 01:22:37,517 Hi. - She's real. 2106 01:22:38,301 --> 01:22:39,519 That's my sister. 2107 01:22:39,519 --> 01:22:41,391 It's very nice to meet all of you. 2108 01:22:41,391 --> 01:22:44,524 Did you fly all the way from... from... 2109 01:22:44,524 --> 01:22:45,961 Africa....Africa 2110 01:22:45,961 --> 01:22:49,138 ...to be with Doug? 2111 01:22:49,138 --> 01:22:51,923 Oh, well, I love Doug. 2112 01:22:51,923 --> 01:22:53,011 But I'm actually here 2113 01:22:53,011 --> 01:22:54,360 on a Fulbright scholarship. 2114 01:22:54,360 --> 01:22:55,579 She's very smart. 2115 01:22:55,579 --> 01:22:56,928 Very nice. 2116 01:22:56,928 --> 01:22:59,670 Well, we're just so happy 2117 01:22:59,670 --> 01:23:01,237 to meet you. Lovely. 2118 01:23:01,237 --> 01:23:03,413 Yes. You could sit... Mom. Dad. 2119 01:23:03,413 --> 01:23:04,805 - Yes. Yes. - Where are we gonna go? 2120 01:23:04,805 --> 01:23:05,893 - Right this way. - Yeah, we gotta get 2121 01:23:05,893 --> 01:23:08,113 our picture taken. 2122 01:23:11,464 --> 01:23:14,554 Don't say that I never did nothing for you. 2123 01:23:21,953 --> 01:23:23,302 Ah. Oh. 2124 01:23:23,302 --> 01:23:25,087 How would you two feel 2125 01:23:25,087 --> 01:23:27,002 about having the wedding 2126 01:23:27,002 --> 01:23:28,873 in our chapel in D.C.? 2127 01:23:28,873 --> 01:23:30,179 D.C.? No. 2128 01:23:30,179 --> 01:23:31,658 Let's have it in Sicily. 2129 01:23:31,658 --> 01:23:33,269 Oh, Sicily. - In my grandfather's garden. 2130 01:23:33,269 --> 01:23:35,053 That's where you should... I was thinking like Napa, 2131 01:23:35,053 --> 01:23:37,664 because I found this place that has a big wine glass. 2132 01:23:37,664 --> 01:23:38,926 And you can do the whole ceremony 2133 01:23:38,926 --> 01:23:40,058 in the wine glass. 2134 01:23:40,058 --> 01:23:42,017 Duke! Duke! No! 2135 01:23:42,017 --> 01:23:43,844 What do you have in your mouth? 2136 01:23:43,844 --> 01:23:46,151 Duke murdered a peacock. 145506

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.