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1
00:00:40,856 --> 00:00:43,525
Welcome back
to the United Kingdom.
2
00:00:43,525 --> 00:00:45,127
Where have you come from today, sir?
3
00:00:45,127 --> 00:00:47,763
Uh, Holland.
4
00:00:47,763 --> 00:00:49,632
It's the Holland ferry.
5
00:00:49,632 --> 00:00:51,467
Can you be more precise, please?
6
00:00:51,467 --> 00:00:54,603
Uh, yes. Amsterdam.
7
00:00:54,603 --> 00:00:56,505
Business or pleasure?
8
00:00:56,505 --> 00:00:58,007
Do I have to say?
9
00:00:58,007 --> 00:01:01,977
I'll ask again.
Business or pleasure?
10
00:01:01,977 --> 00:01:03,778
Uh, pleasure.
11
00:01:05,814 --> 00:01:06,915
On your way.
12
00:01:50,092 --> 00:01:51,126
Took your time.
13
00:02:01,203 --> 00:02:03,939
Seventy grand's worth.
Right there.
14
00:02:05,107 --> 00:02:06,775
Bloody hell, kid.
15
00:02:06,775 --> 00:02:08,978
I never thought
you'd actually go and do it.
16
00:02:08,978 --> 00:02:11,413
I've remortgaged
the café for this.
17
00:02:12,247 --> 00:02:14,182
High stakes player, me, Vince.
18
00:02:16,018 --> 00:02:20,489
This'll show Dennis what sort
of a man I really am, hmm?
19
00:02:20,489 --> 00:02:21,556
- Cheers.
20
00:02:25,093 --> 00:02:26,428
Well, come on then.
21
00:02:44,246 --> 00:02:46,482
As soon as
she lays an egg, Vince,
22
00:02:46,482 --> 00:02:47,882
we're gonna be rich.
23
00:02:51,820 --> 00:02:53,755
Ey up.
The boyfriend's here.
24
00:03:19,448 --> 00:03:21,483
This had better work.
25
00:03:21,483 --> 00:03:23,819
This is every penny
I've ever nicked.
26
00:03:23,819 --> 00:03:26,155
Never failed yet, mate.
27
00:03:26,155 --> 00:03:27,889
You'll have an egg in ten days.
28
00:03:42,638 --> 00:03:44,773
Should've laid by now, right?
29
00:03:44,773 --> 00:03:48,744
May be discombobulated
from travelling.
30
00:03:48,744 --> 00:03:50,679
She's a racing pigeon.
31
00:03:50,679 --> 00:03:52,214
Travelling's what they do.
32
00:03:52,214 --> 00:03:54,683
Weather's been bad.
It affects 'em.
33
00:03:54,683 --> 00:03:56,418
And hanging over her
with a shotgun
34
00:03:56,418 --> 00:03:58,754
ain't gonna relax her much,
is it?
35
00:03:58,754 --> 00:04:01,023
Listen, I raided
the Christmas Club subs
36
00:04:01,023 --> 00:04:02,658
for that there pigeon.
37
00:04:02,658 --> 00:04:03,993
- There's a lot at stake here.
- Yeah, well,
38
00:04:03,993 --> 00:04:05,995
she doesn't know that,
does she?
39
00:04:05,995 --> 00:04:07,062
Then tell her!
40
00:04:15,971 --> 00:04:17,806
- You heard.
41
00:04:17,806 --> 00:04:19,241
Get laying.
42
00:04:19,241 --> 00:04:20,475
Go on.
43
00:04:21,677 --> 00:04:22,677
Go on.
44
00:04:46,568 --> 00:04:48,170
Shit.
45
00:04:48,170 --> 00:04:52,174
- Oh. Oh, shit.
46
00:04:52,174 --> 00:04:54,009
Shit.
47
00:04:55,978 --> 00:04:58,180
Oh!
48
00:04:58,180 --> 00:05:02,184
- Oh! Ah, shit!
49
00:05:10,526 --> 00:05:12,127
Come on, love. Gotta open up!
50
00:05:12,127 --> 00:05:13,762
All right, I'm comin'.
51
00:05:15,597 --> 00:05:17,032
Wow.
52
00:05:17,032 --> 00:05:19,702
It's either the Oscars
or parents' evening.
53
00:05:19,702 --> 00:05:21,070
What you talking about?
54
00:05:21,070 --> 00:05:23,238
You in your finery.
55
00:05:23,238 --> 00:05:26,742
Well, you-- You can't
let yourself go, can ya?
56
00:05:33,882 --> 00:05:36,652
- Come on, love.
57
00:05:36,652 --> 00:05:38,020
I thought you said we had
a hurry on.
58
00:05:38,020 --> 00:05:39,154
I'm coming.
59
00:06:32,841 --> 00:06:34,643
- Guy, love,
60
00:06:34,643 --> 00:06:36,612
hope the conference is good.
61
00:06:36,612 --> 00:06:38,013
If you tell me what time
you're back,
62
00:06:38,013 --> 00:06:41,583
I'll make something nice.
Just ring me, eh?
63
00:06:41,583 --> 00:06:44,019
- Love you.
64
00:06:44,019 --> 00:06:46,121
All right, you cock!
Just give us a sec.
65
00:07:04,206 --> 00:07:05,407
Horse?!
66
00:07:06,875 --> 00:07:07,909
Are you there?
67
00:07:11,513 --> 00:07:13,882
Yvonne! Hi!
68
00:07:13,882 --> 00:07:16,952
It's all a bit Robinson Crusoe,
this, isn't it?
69
00:07:16,952 --> 00:07:18,720
Me battery's flat!
70
00:07:19,621 --> 00:07:25,594
I'm on me way to, uh, a benefits
assessment thingy in Castleford.
71
00:07:25,594 --> 00:07:28,097
I'm that late,
if I miss me slot,
72
00:07:28,097 --> 00:07:30,099
they're gonna cut me
bloody money!
73
00:07:30,099 --> 00:07:33,135
- I'm going that way!
- Are ya?
74
00:07:33,135 --> 00:07:34,603
Hop in, Horse.
75
00:07:35,471 --> 00:07:37,973
What did you do with
the rest of Man Friday?
76
00:07:37,973 --> 00:07:41,677
Oh, I cooked him and I ate him!
77
00:08:06,068 --> 00:08:09,070
Yeah. I've had
a part exchange come in.
78
00:08:10,038 --> 00:08:14,576
What's your best price
on a 2007 Ford Focus?
79
00:08:15,811 --> 00:08:17,579
Fifty quid scrap?
80
00:08:17,579 --> 00:08:21,116
Okay. Well, unless I can find
some idiot to buy it...
81
00:08:21,116 --> 00:08:23,986
Yeah, well,
you wouldn't want to be seen
82
00:08:23,986 --> 00:08:25,754
driving that pile
of junk anyway.
83
00:08:25,754 --> 00:08:29,224
Tell you what. Give me 60,
and I'll drop it round.
84
00:08:29,224 --> 00:08:30,859
- Ta-ta.
85
00:08:32,461 --> 00:08:33,495
Lomper.
86
00:08:34,496 --> 00:08:36,799
You don't want a car, do you?
87
00:08:36,799 --> 00:08:37,866
No, thanks.
88
00:08:37,866 --> 00:08:38,934
Be seated.
89
00:08:38,934 --> 00:08:40,001
No, I'm--
90
00:08:42,270 --> 00:08:44,640
He can always tell, can Bill.
91
00:08:45,708 --> 00:08:47,576
He got a sixth sense.
92
00:08:47,576 --> 00:08:48,777
Should be on the telly.
93
00:08:50,946 --> 00:08:53,749
I-I got a load of leads out.
94
00:08:53,749 --> 00:08:55,884
Couple of bites
from buyers abroad.
95
00:08:55,884 --> 00:08:57,453
It's looking good.
96
00:08:57,453 --> 00:08:59,554
But bird's a bit late laying.
97
00:09:02,824 --> 00:09:05,126
I-I need an extra week.
98
00:09:07,062 --> 00:09:08,763
The repayment.
99
00:09:10,899 --> 00:09:14,402
The second instalment.
Due today.
100
00:09:15,337 --> 00:09:20,009
It's funny, Bill.
The end bit's always the same,
101
00:09:20,009 --> 00:09:22,177
but the first bit's
always different.
102
00:09:22,177 --> 00:09:24,613
It's fascinating.
103
00:09:24,613 --> 00:09:25,680
Yeah.
104
00:09:28,617 --> 00:09:31,487
You're definitely
the first person we've had
105
00:09:31,487 --> 00:09:34,423
whose life has been endangered
by a pigeon.
106
00:09:34,423 --> 00:09:35,557
My life?
107
00:09:35,557 --> 00:09:37,726
Oh, he exaggerates.
108
00:09:37,726 --> 00:09:39,561
We'll give you an extra week.
109
00:09:39,561 --> 00:09:40,895
Won't we, Bill?
110
00:09:45,067 --> 00:09:46,167
'Course we will.
111
00:09:47,903 --> 00:09:51,072
And to help you along,
we'll give you a car.
112
00:09:51,973 --> 00:09:56,779
I was thinking
a nice 2007 Ford Focus.
113
00:09:56,779 --> 00:09:58,213
Lovely little runner.
114
00:09:58,213 --> 00:10:00,015
Lovely.
115
00:10:00,015 --> 00:10:01,783
Five-hundred quid to you.
116
00:10:06,788 --> 00:10:07,822
It's an elephant.
117
00:10:12,894 --> 00:10:14,730
Lilies are a bit more expensive.
118
00:10:14,730 --> 00:10:16,598
So what we talking?
Total figure.
119
00:10:16,598 --> 00:10:18,567
With the church,
table decorations,
120
00:10:18,567 --> 00:10:21,971
bridesmaids' posies,
and the bouquets,
121
00:10:21,971 --> 00:10:25,140
it's around about, uh,
eight all in, I'm afraid.
122
00:10:25,140 --> 00:10:26,475
Eight thousand?
123
00:10:26,475 --> 00:10:27,743
Yeah.
124
00:10:29,011 --> 00:10:30,612
More flavour in the packaging.
125
00:10:31,613 --> 00:10:32,948
Still there, Yvonne?
126
00:10:32,948 --> 00:10:35,017
Mmm. Yep.
127
00:10:35,017 --> 00:10:37,653
Decision made.
I want the lilies,
128
00:10:37,653 --> 00:10:40,222
so I shall have the lilies.
And, uh, Guy shall have a fit,
129
00:10:40,222 --> 00:10:42,825
but, hey, you only get
married once. Let's do it!
130
00:10:42,825 --> 00:10:45,026
- On it.
131
00:10:46,695 --> 00:10:50,132
Weddings, Horse.
A lot of bloody money.
132
00:10:50,132 --> 00:10:52,768
Yeah. Eight grand
for a wedding, eh?
133
00:10:52,768 --> 00:10:55,437
No, that's just for the flowers, love.
134
00:10:55,437 --> 00:10:58,974
Wow. I never knew you
and Guy were getting married.
135
00:10:58,974 --> 00:11:01,210
Guy gave you an invite.
136
00:11:01,210 --> 00:11:03,746
- Did he?
- Yeah, you RSVP'd.
137
00:11:03,746 --> 00:11:05,180
- Did I?
- Said you were visiting
138
00:11:05,180 --> 00:11:07,950
your rellies in Liverpool,
couldn't come.
139
00:11:07,950 --> 00:11:09,785
- But I haven't got no rel--
- Hey, what do you think
140
00:11:09,785 --> 00:11:12,821
about this for a business idea?
Botox Rocks.
141
00:11:14,156 --> 00:11:16,191
- Is that a band?
- Botox
142
00:11:16,191 --> 00:11:18,661
and hot-stone treatments
at the same time.
143
00:11:18,661 --> 00:11:20,863
I've got the hypodermics and gel
in my bag right here.
144
00:11:20,863 --> 00:11:22,765
I'll do you a freebie!
145
00:11:22,765 --> 00:11:25,000
Well, I've got to be
at the assessment centre
146
00:11:25,000 --> 00:11:27,136
- for, uh-- Yeah.
- No bother.
147
00:11:27,136 --> 00:11:29,138
Doesn't have to be today.
148
00:11:29,138 --> 00:11:31,974
I've not got a lot on
at the moment, to be honest.
149
00:11:31,974 --> 00:11:33,809
Guy's busy with work,
and I'm just
150
00:11:33,809 --> 00:11:37,680
sort of waiting about
for the baby.
151
00:11:37,680 --> 00:11:39,714
I mean, there's the wedding,
of course, but...
152
00:11:41,116 --> 00:11:44,152
Sometimes I just...
drive around.
153
00:11:46,888 --> 00:11:48,156
It's nice having company.
154
00:11:49,858 --> 00:11:50,892
Yeah.
155
00:11:53,261 --> 00:11:54,663
Yeah, it is.
156
00:11:59,701 --> 00:12:02,871
Good, good.
Next question.
157
00:12:02,871 --> 00:12:05,674
Are you able to stand up
independently?
158
00:12:05,674 --> 00:12:08,911
Um, you've just asked me
to sit down.
159
00:12:08,911 --> 00:12:11,647
No, I mean as a rule at home.
160
00:12:11,647 --> 00:12:13,215
Oh. Um...
161
00:12:13,215 --> 00:12:16,051
well, I can't do it
without me stick, you know?
162
00:12:16,051 --> 00:12:18,887
'Cause, um,
I sleep in the lounge now
163
00:12:18,887 --> 00:12:21,890
because I find it difficult
getting up and down the stairs.
164
00:12:21,890 --> 00:12:24,460
But with the stick,
you can stand up?
165
00:12:24,460 --> 00:12:27,863
- Uh, yeah, yeah.
- Good, good. So that's a yes.
166
00:12:27,863 --> 00:12:31,499
Are you able to prepare
and cook your own meals?
167
00:12:32,534 --> 00:12:34,970
I like MasterChef, you know?
168
00:12:34,970 --> 00:12:37,773
But, um, I think, like,
169
00:12:37,773 --> 00:12:41,443
I'm--I'm more of a, uh,
Pot Noodle man, if I'm honest.
170
00:12:41,443 --> 00:12:43,412
But you could?
171
00:12:43,412 --> 00:12:45,080
Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
I think so, yeah.
172
00:12:45,080 --> 00:12:47,650
Good, good.
I'm going to put another yes.
173
00:12:47,650 --> 00:12:50,519
Uh, short journeys.
How's your mobility?
174
00:12:50,519 --> 00:12:52,154
I see you've managed
to get here from...
175
00:12:52,154 --> 00:12:54,690
Sheffield. Yeah, yeah.
176
00:12:54,690 --> 00:12:57,092
Yeah, but it wasn't easy,
love, I'll tell ya.
177
00:12:57,092 --> 00:13:00,529
We broke down on the-- on the--
the dual carriageway,
178
00:13:00,529 --> 00:13:02,131
- like, I know--
- And yet, here you are.
179
00:13:02,131 --> 00:13:03,465
So, well done, you.
180
00:13:03,465 --> 00:13:05,968
It's another yes.
181
00:13:05,968 --> 00:13:07,035
Good, good.
182
00:13:18,580 --> 00:13:19,949
Here you go, love.
183
00:13:19,949 --> 00:13:21,683
£1.25, please.
184
00:13:23,518 --> 00:13:24,686
Thank you.
185
00:13:44,073 --> 00:13:45,140
Yes!
186
00:13:47,542 --> 00:13:49,178
- What you doin'?
187
00:13:49,178 --> 00:13:51,780
Uh, nothin'.
188
00:13:51,780 --> 00:13:57,119
Uh, we need another 20 litres
of sunflower oil.
189
00:13:57,119 --> 00:13:59,688
Not at 2:30 in the morning,
we don't.
190
00:13:59,688 --> 00:14:01,590
I'm just trying to help.
191
00:14:01,590 --> 00:14:02,925
By waking me up?
192
00:14:02,925 --> 00:14:04,125
S-Sorry.
193
00:14:13,468 --> 00:14:15,137
We finally got a buyer.
194
00:14:15,137 --> 00:14:17,706
He's coming over
from South bloody Korea, Vince.
195
00:14:17,706 --> 00:14:20,743
Sang-Chol, he's called.
Mr Sang-Chol. I Googled him.
196
00:14:20,743 --> 00:14:23,746
He's a-a software billionaire, apparently.
197
00:14:23,746 --> 00:14:26,782
Knows his pigeons,
oh, that--that's--that's right.
198
00:14:26,782 --> 00:14:29,118
Has he paid you then,
this Sang-Chol fellow?
199
00:14:29,118 --> 00:14:31,887
First 20 grand banked.
Oh, now we're talkin'.
200
00:14:31,887 --> 00:14:34,657
- So, when can you pay me back?
- Not just yet, Vince.
201
00:14:34,657 --> 00:14:36,558
But there's another 20
once he's seen it,
202
00:14:36,558 --> 00:14:39,028
and he's checked over all
the paperwork and she's laid.
203
00:14:39,028 --> 00:14:41,463
Yeah, and about that,
when is she gonna lay?
204
00:14:41,463 --> 00:14:43,798
Oh, any day now, Vince. Any day.
205
00:14:44,900 --> 00:14:48,103
And I've named her. Lewis.
206
00:14:48,103 --> 00:14:50,005
Like that detective
off the telly?
207
00:14:51,173 --> 00:14:53,742
No, like Lewis Hamilton.
208
00:14:53,742 --> 00:14:56,045
Fastest pigeon in Europe,
she were, in her day.
209
00:14:56,045 --> 00:14:58,881
Yeah? Well, I wish
she'd get a shift on.
210
00:14:58,881 --> 00:15:00,215
She will, she will.
211
00:15:00,215 --> 00:15:02,952
Trust me, Vince. Trust me.
212
00:15:33,682 --> 00:15:36,118
- Nice to meet ya.
213
00:15:36,118 --> 00:15:38,854
Mr Sang-Chol is very happy
to make your acquaintance.
214
00:15:38,854 --> 00:15:40,923
Oh. Well, me too.
215
00:15:42,524 --> 00:15:43,926
My name is Mun-Hee.
216
00:15:43,926 --> 00:15:46,495
Lomper.
Pleased to meet you.
217
00:15:46,495 --> 00:15:48,230
This is a great day
for Mr Sang-Chol.
218
00:15:48,230 --> 00:15:50,065
He's most desirous of seeing
219
00:15:50,065 --> 00:15:51,800
the eggs
of the propitious pigeon.
220
00:15:52,701 --> 00:15:56,772
Uh, the propitious pigeon
hasn't actually laid yet.
221
00:16:01,043 --> 00:16:02,678
No?
222
00:16:02,678 --> 00:16:04,113
No.
223
00:16:59,835 --> 00:17:00,969
Just tea bags.
224
00:17:16,585 --> 00:17:19,989
Mr Sang-Chol will stay at
the hotel until Lewis has laid.
225
00:17:19,989 --> 00:17:23,058
You will pay for the unheralded
extension to his stay.
226
00:17:24,226 --> 00:17:26,428
- Oh, right.
- If you need to contact him,
227
00:17:26,428 --> 00:17:28,430
he is in the presidential suite.
228
00:17:29,898 --> 00:17:31,700
That--That's nice.
229
00:18:04,866 --> 00:18:07,970
He don't look like the sort
of fucker you mess with.
230
00:18:09,505 --> 00:18:11,607
I can't force her to bloody lay.
231
00:18:11,607 --> 00:18:15,911
I didn't know they even
had a presidential suite.
232
00:18:19,948 --> 00:18:21,684
I've been thinking.
233
00:18:21,684 --> 00:18:23,519
What if she's a ringer?
234
00:18:23,519 --> 00:18:25,955
She isn't. I got all
the paperwork and everything.
235
00:18:25,955 --> 00:18:27,056
- Paperwork.
- Yeah.
236
00:18:27,056 --> 00:18:28,624
- Paperwork?
- Yeah.
237
00:18:28,624 --> 00:18:29,892
You can do owt
on a computer these days.
238
00:18:29,892 --> 00:18:31,460
- Oh.
- And what about
239
00:18:31,460 --> 00:18:34,063
that male pigeon?
Shooting blanks, maybe.
240
00:18:34,063 --> 00:18:37,700
No, he's famous. He's sired half
of Britain's best racers.
241
00:18:37,700 --> 00:18:39,768
Oh, we can all have
our rough days on that front.
242
00:18:39,768 --> 00:18:41,937
- Oh.
- Ask Ellie.
243
00:18:41,937 --> 00:18:43,906
- On second thoughts, better not.
244
00:18:43,906 --> 00:18:46,442
If she hasn't laid
by tomorrow,
245
00:18:46,442 --> 00:18:48,644
I'll take her to see Reg, yeah?
246
00:18:48,644 --> 00:18:51,012
At least get her checked over
by a specialist.
247
00:18:52,514 --> 00:18:54,750
Oh, come on, Mrs Pigeon.
248
00:18:54,750 --> 00:18:56,919
It doesn't take that long
to lay a bloody egg.
249
00:18:56,919 --> 00:18:58,554
Come on. Get on with it.
250
00:19:34,857 --> 00:19:36,458
Hey.
251
00:19:36,458 --> 00:19:38,594
It's harassment.
It's musical bullying.
252
00:19:38,594 --> 00:19:40,062
It is pretty good though,
isn't it?
253
00:19:40,062 --> 00:19:42,164
Yeah, but that's not the point,
Mr Amagee.
254
00:19:42,164 --> 00:19:44,066
Not at all.
255
00:19:44,066 --> 00:19:45,133
Hey, Jean.
256
00:19:46,702 --> 00:19:50,071
Have you thought more about,
you know, what I said?
257
00:19:50,972 --> 00:19:54,777
Thought about it? Dil,
I've thought about nothing else.
258
00:19:54,777 --> 00:19:57,546
- And?
- Oh, Christ. I don't know.
259
00:19:57,546 --> 00:20:00,015
I don't wanna sneak
around anymore, you know?
260
00:20:00,015 --> 00:20:02,551
- It's--It's not us. It's wrong.
261
00:20:02,551 --> 00:20:05,521
It's deceitful.
262
00:20:05,521 --> 00:20:08,791
- We need to be honest.
- Yeah, I know.
263
00:20:08,791 --> 00:20:10,693
Even if it hurts people
we care about.
264
00:20:10,693 --> 00:20:12,661
I know.
265
00:20:28,677 --> 00:20:31,480
Come on, now.
Give me some good news.
266
00:20:31,480 --> 00:20:32,581
There's a love.
267
00:20:34,650 --> 00:20:38,487
- I booked the vet's for 1:30,
268
00:20:38,487 --> 00:20:39,855
so you better get going.
269
00:20:39,855 --> 00:20:41,724
I need to nip to the bog first.
270
00:20:41,724 --> 00:20:43,792
Terry's blocked it again.
Gone for the plunger.
271
00:20:43,792 --> 00:20:46,729
Well, I'm gonna
have to stop off at the café.
272
00:20:46,729 --> 00:20:49,765
Yeah? Well, don't be late.
273
00:20:49,765 --> 00:20:52,834
I wanna know what the hell's
going on with that bird.
274
00:20:56,138 --> 00:20:57,172
Okay.
275
00:20:59,207 --> 00:21:00,509
You want more lettuce?
276
00:21:00,509 --> 00:21:02,044
Yeah, if it's not a problem.
277
00:21:02,044 --> 00:21:04,480
Problem? No. No.
278
00:21:04,480 --> 00:21:05,848
Not at all.
279
00:21:05,848 --> 00:21:08,117
Dennis. I've got this letter.
280
00:21:08,117 --> 00:21:09,718
Oh, won the pools, have we?
281
00:21:09,718 --> 00:21:11,787
It's from the Benefits Agency.
282
00:21:11,787 --> 00:21:13,822
They're telling me
that I'm fit for work,
283
00:21:13,822 --> 00:21:15,457
and I don't quite know how to--
284
00:21:15,457 --> 00:21:17,426
I'm right busy, Hor--
285
00:21:17,426 --> 00:21:18,861
Here.
286
00:21:18,861 --> 00:21:21,664
I'm not stayin'.
287
00:21:21,664 --> 00:21:23,499
Where have you been?
288
00:21:23,499 --> 00:21:25,834
Cut some more lettuce, will ya?
289
00:21:25,834 --> 00:21:28,671
It says you're a fit and
functioning member of society.
290
00:21:28,671 --> 00:21:30,439
- Congratulations.
- But I can't even--
291
00:21:30,439 --> 00:21:31,807
Look, I'm in a bit of a hurry.
292
00:21:31,807 --> 00:21:33,708
Yes! The lettuce.
293
00:21:37,947 --> 00:21:41,784
Now where's he gone?
294
00:21:41,784 --> 00:21:44,552
Oh, not on the prep table!
295
00:21:46,221 --> 00:21:48,156
How many times?
296
00:21:58,066 --> 00:22:00,502
Oh!
297
00:22:00,502 --> 00:22:03,038
Oh, go on! Out! Out!
298
00:22:05,641 --> 00:22:07,442
Dirty fucking things!
299
00:22:14,116 --> 00:22:16,151
Ooh, that's better.
Caught short there.
300
00:22:16,151 --> 00:22:17,653
I have told you
one million times...
301
00:22:17,653 --> 00:22:20,756
- I'm just gonna--
- ...shut that back door.
302
00:22:20,756 --> 00:22:23,826
I have just had a bloody pigeon
in here.
303
00:22:23,826 --> 00:22:25,494
- A pigeon?
- Imagine if the health inspector
304
00:22:25,494 --> 00:22:27,162
had been on patrol.
He'd have shut us down.
305
00:22:27,162 --> 00:22:28,396
What--
306
00:22:29,231 --> 00:22:30,899
- Where is it?
- What?
307
00:22:30,899 --> 00:22:32,635
- The pigeon.
- In the salad.
308
00:22:32,635 --> 00:22:35,571
- Excuse me?
- Nearly there!
309
00:22:35,571 --> 00:22:36,871
Your bloody Majesty.
310
00:22:37,806 --> 00:22:40,075
- Where's the--
- I've shooed it out!
311
00:22:40,075 --> 00:22:41,577
What do you think?
312
00:22:41,577 --> 00:22:43,012
- What-- Out?
- Yes.
313
00:22:43,012 --> 00:22:45,414
But-- W-W-Where did it--
If it went-- Which--
314
00:22:45,414 --> 00:22:47,616
If you're having a stroke,
could you wait
315
00:22:47,616 --> 00:22:48,950
till the lunch rush is over?
316
00:22:59,428 --> 00:23:01,930
Hey, Lomps.
317
00:23:01,930 --> 00:23:03,932
- Lomps, I've got this letter.
- Oh, no.
318
00:23:03,932 --> 00:23:05,567
- I don't know what to do.
- Not now, Horse.
319
00:23:05,567 --> 00:23:07,102
Um, oh, all right. All right.
320
00:23:14,476 --> 00:23:17,145
Oh, God. Oh, God.
321
00:23:24,953 --> 00:23:27,623
Lomper, I called the vet.
322
00:23:27,623 --> 00:23:29,692
I know you never showed.
323
00:23:29,692 --> 00:23:31,460
Just so you know,
324
00:23:31,460 --> 00:23:33,629
the last person who
double-crossed me
325
00:23:33,629 --> 00:23:35,631
lost both his kneecaps.
326
00:23:35,631 --> 00:23:37,933
Call me! Urgently!
327
00:23:44,973 --> 00:23:47,643
I hope you know the Korean
for "fuck up", love.
328
00:23:47,643 --> 00:23:48,710
'Cause we've got one.
329
00:23:54,322 --> 00:23:56,591
- Where are you?
330
00:23:56,591 --> 00:24:00,028
I had to do the whole lunch rush
on me own. Call me.
331
00:24:01,696 --> 00:24:03,632
Honestly.
332
00:24:03,632 --> 00:24:06,401
What can I get you, gentlemen?
333
00:24:06,401 --> 00:24:09,071
Lomper. You can get us him.
334
00:24:09,071 --> 00:24:10,171
He's not in.
335
00:24:11,306 --> 00:24:12,574
Oh, dear.
336
00:24:12,574 --> 00:24:14,476
Bill.
337
00:24:14,476 --> 00:24:16,077
Indeed.
338
00:24:17,445 --> 00:24:21,149
Personal question, so, you know,
339
00:24:21,149 --> 00:24:23,018
feel free not to answer it.
340
00:24:23,018 --> 00:24:26,121
But married, are ya?
You and Lomper?
341
00:24:26,121 --> 00:24:29,224
We are, as a matter of fact. Yes.
342
00:24:29,224 --> 00:24:31,526
Ah, so what's yours is his.
What's his is yours.
343
00:24:31,526 --> 00:24:33,494
- Mmm.
- For richer, for poorer.
344
00:24:35,263 --> 00:24:37,265
Ain't that how it goes?
345
00:24:37,265 --> 00:24:38,667
Uh, I seem to remember
something similar
346
00:24:38,667 --> 00:24:40,902
from the marriage vows, yes.
347
00:24:40,902 --> 00:24:44,005
Well, that is a big relief.
Isn't it, Bill?
348
00:24:44,005 --> 00:24:46,140
- Relief?
- Huge.
349
00:24:47,542 --> 00:24:51,145
'Cause your husband
owes us £17,500.
350
00:24:52,514 --> 00:24:54,249
He what?
351
00:24:54,249 --> 00:24:55,884
And if he hasn't paid
the next instalment
352
00:24:55,884 --> 00:24:57,619
by the end of the week,
353
00:24:57,619 --> 00:25:00,121
plus the one
that he's just missed...
354
00:25:01,589 --> 00:25:03,458
well, then we're coming
to get it from you.
355
00:25:08,663 --> 00:25:10,565
- This?
- Mmm.
356
00:25:15,069 --> 00:25:16,237
We'll see you soon.
357
00:25:17,372 --> 00:25:18,406
Ta-ra.
358
00:25:20,208 --> 00:25:21,543
- Mmm.
359
00:25:21,543 --> 00:25:23,177
That was fuckin' lovely.
360
00:25:26,515 --> 00:25:28,450
We're going to have to close.
361
00:25:28,450 --> 00:25:31,353
Now. Personal circumstances.
362
00:25:31,353 --> 00:25:33,955
- So sorry.
- Well, I was in the middle
363
00:25:33,955 --> 00:25:35,490
of a very interesting conversation
364
00:25:35,490 --> 00:25:37,893
with a Nigerian lawyer.
365
00:25:37,893 --> 00:25:40,395
Apparently, I've been left
some money in a will.
366
00:25:41,930 --> 00:25:44,132
- Come on. Out you get.
367
00:25:44,132 --> 00:25:45,600
Okay, thank you.
368
00:25:45,600 --> 00:25:47,869
- So sorry. Bye, bye, bye.
369
00:25:54,175 --> 00:25:57,446
I can't get to me
phone, so leave me a message.
370
00:25:58,947 --> 00:26:01,583
Lomper,
what the hell is going on?
371
00:26:01,583 --> 00:26:03,418
Where are you?
372
00:26:04,586 --> 00:26:06,220
Sorry, we're closed.
373
00:26:08,590 --> 00:26:10,025
I said we're--
374
00:26:12,994 --> 00:26:16,631
Mr Sang-Chol is not interested
in a cup of tea.
375
00:26:16,631 --> 00:26:20,602
Mr Sang-Chol is interested in
the whereabouts of Mr Lomper.
376
00:26:20,602 --> 00:26:22,270
Who are you?
377
00:26:22,270 --> 00:26:26,041
Mr Lomper owes Mr Sang-Chol
a lot of money.
378
00:26:26,041 --> 00:26:27,309
He does?
379
00:26:27,309 --> 00:26:28,343
How much?
380
00:26:28,343 --> 00:26:30,278
- You, out.
- Gladly.
381
00:26:30,278 --> 00:26:31,947
- This place is a madhouse.
382
00:26:31,947 --> 00:26:34,116
- Oh, my God.
383
00:26:34,116 --> 00:26:35,283
He's not upstairs.
384
00:26:36,651 --> 00:26:39,020
So, where is the bastard?
385
00:26:48,062 --> 00:26:49,897
- Amsterdam?
386
00:26:51,132 --> 00:26:53,268
- Hello?
- Oh, hello.
387
00:26:53,268 --> 00:26:57,004
Um, it's Dennis Godfrey here.
388
00:26:58,706 --> 00:27:01,510
- Uh, yes, Lomper's husband.
- Ah, right.
389
00:27:01,510 --> 00:27:06,181
Who am I speaking to, please?
390
00:27:06,181 --> 00:27:08,216
This is Richard.
391
00:27:08,216 --> 00:27:09,283
Richard?
392
00:27:11,152 --> 00:27:13,488
As in Lomper's Uncle Dickie,
Richard?
393
00:27:13,488 --> 00:27:15,457
Yes.
394
00:27:15,457 --> 00:27:16,524
But...
395
00:27:18,293 --> 00:27:21,229
...you're dead.
396
00:27:28,036 --> 00:27:30,005
- Is he here?
- Who?
397
00:27:30,005 --> 00:27:31,873
Oh, don't give me that. I've
seen the way you look at him.
398
00:27:31,873 --> 00:27:33,909
- My husband, that's who.
- Lomper?
399
00:27:33,909 --> 00:27:37,112
- Oh, so you do know.
- Mate, you just told me.
400
00:27:37,112 --> 00:27:38,379
Enjoy Amsterdam, did ya?
401
00:27:39,180 --> 00:27:42,184
- Amsterdam?
- Ah, so you admit it.
402
00:27:42,184 --> 00:27:45,287
I'm not understanding the rules
of this conversation at all.
403
00:27:45,287 --> 00:27:46,587
Guy?
404
00:27:48,690 --> 00:27:50,959
Do you know what your boyfriend
gets up to, Yvonne?
405
00:27:50,959 --> 00:27:53,428
Eh, do you?
His proclivities, hmm?
406
00:27:53,428 --> 00:27:55,997
Do I know Guy's bisexual
and went out with Lomper
407
00:27:55,997 --> 00:27:58,166
25 years ago? Yeah, I do.
408
00:27:58,166 --> 00:28:00,102
Oh.
409
00:28:00,102 --> 00:28:02,204
Very modern, I'm sure.
410
00:28:02,204 --> 00:28:04,405
Dennis, mate, what's up?
411
00:28:06,908 --> 00:28:08,076
He's gone, Guy.
412
00:28:09,377 --> 00:28:10,912
He's got somebody else.
413
00:28:13,648 --> 00:28:16,017
It's all been a tissue of lies.
414
00:28:41,276 --> 00:28:43,344
I might have known
I'd find you here.
415
00:28:44,512 --> 00:28:46,114
Best view in Sheffield.
416
00:28:49,217 --> 00:28:50,952
Oh. I'm sorry, Dennis.
417
00:28:53,188 --> 00:28:54,523
I guess you know.
418
00:28:54,523 --> 00:28:57,459
If you mean Amsterdam,
oh, yes, I know.
419
00:28:57,459 --> 00:29:00,262
- Right.
- And the remortgage.
420
00:29:00,262 --> 00:29:02,197
Uh-huh.
421
00:29:02,197 --> 00:29:04,866
So how much of our money
have you frittered away,
422
00:29:04,866 --> 00:29:06,935
you old fool?
423
00:29:06,935 --> 00:29:10,338
About 70 grand, give or take.
424
00:29:10,338 --> 00:29:12,407
70 grand?
425
00:29:14,642 --> 00:29:17,645
Oh. Well, that's us bust,
good and proper.
426
00:29:21,116 --> 00:29:25,053
Got a name, this dirty,
little secret of yours, eh?
427
00:29:25,053 --> 00:29:27,055
- Lewis.
- Lewis, oh?
428
00:29:27,055 --> 00:29:29,091
Nice.
429
00:29:29,091 --> 00:29:31,259
- Where'd you meet him?
- Her.
430
00:29:31,259 --> 00:29:34,996
Worse and worse.
431
00:29:34,996 --> 00:29:36,465
Online.
432
00:29:36,465 --> 00:29:38,232
So predictable.
433
00:29:39,934 --> 00:29:42,204
I've been looking
for a couple of years.
434
00:29:42,204 --> 00:29:43,905
You think I didn't notice
435
00:29:43,905 --> 00:29:47,876
all those late-night sessions
on the computer?
436
00:29:47,876 --> 00:29:49,644
Disgusting.
437
00:29:49,644 --> 00:29:52,180
Picked her up in Amsterdam.
438
00:29:52,180 --> 00:29:54,949
Had to smuggle her in, like.
439
00:29:56,151 --> 00:29:57,185
Trafficking?
440
00:29:58,486 --> 00:30:00,455
Jesus Christ, Lomper.
441
00:30:00,455 --> 00:30:03,191
I were trying to breed from her.
442
00:30:03,191 --> 00:30:06,595
You swore blind
you never wanted kids.
443
00:30:06,595 --> 00:30:09,131
Just not with me, it seems.
444
00:30:09,131 --> 00:30:10,532
Lewis is
445
00:30:10,532 --> 00:30:12,267
a Northern
Light Black Busschaert.
446
00:30:12,267 --> 00:30:14,636
You think I care
what you call the bitch?
447
00:30:14,636 --> 00:30:15,970
A pigeon.
448
00:30:21,609 --> 00:30:24,412
Right. I know that.
449
00:30:26,281 --> 00:30:27,382
Hang on a sec.
450
00:30:28,516 --> 00:30:31,152
You spent 70 grand
on a bloody pigeon?
451
00:30:33,121 --> 00:30:36,358
You really are a fucking idiot.
452
00:30:36,358 --> 00:30:38,627
Well, wh-who's the fucking idiot
453
00:30:38,627 --> 00:30:41,229
who kicked it out
the kitchen door, eh?
454
00:30:42,530 --> 00:30:43,631
Oh.
455
00:30:50,371 --> 00:30:53,075
What?
This is what we're looking for?
456
00:30:53,075 --> 00:30:55,343
Oh, yeah. Now, I think I've
seen this one in the bins
457
00:30:55,343 --> 00:30:57,345
round the back of the school
with all its mates.
458
00:30:57,345 --> 00:30:58,913
It's a pigeon.
459
00:30:59,714 --> 00:31:02,184
- Answers to the name of...
- Health hazard.
460
00:31:02,184 --> 00:31:03,218
Pecker.
461
00:31:03,218 --> 00:31:04,853
Lewis, if you must know.
462
00:31:04,853 --> 00:31:07,489
Like Lewis Hamilton?
463
00:31:07,489 --> 00:31:09,558
Yeah. Like Lewis Hamilton.
464
00:31:09,558 --> 00:31:12,327
- 'Cause she's fast?
- Brilliant, Horse.
465
00:31:12,327 --> 00:31:14,129
It's all about the tyre changes, apparently.
466
00:31:14,129 --> 00:31:16,531
You got slicks, uh, wets,
intermediates--
467
00:31:16,531 --> 00:31:18,166
Shut up, you.
468
00:31:18,166 --> 00:31:20,035
- What?
469
00:31:20,035 --> 00:31:23,472
Laugh all you like, but there's
a thousand-pound reward
470
00:31:23,472 --> 00:31:25,974
for the person who finds her.
471
00:31:25,974 --> 00:31:28,977
A grand? For a flying rat?
472
00:31:28,977 --> 00:31:30,512
If that's the reward,
then what's she worth?
473
00:31:30,512 --> 00:31:33,348
My life, literally.
474
00:31:33,348 --> 00:31:35,650
He really lights up a room,
doesn't he?
475
00:31:35,650 --> 00:31:36,851
Come on then.
476
00:32:05,280 --> 00:32:08,417
As far as I can tell,
any of them could be Lewis.
477
00:32:08,417 --> 00:32:10,986
- Or none of them.
- Or none of them.
478
00:32:10,986 --> 00:32:12,654
Lewis!
479
00:32:12,654 --> 00:32:15,623
Lewis!
480
00:32:17,692 --> 00:32:19,294
Well, I don't know, do I?
481
00:32:19,294 --> 00:32:21,263
I don't mind looking daft
for a grand.
482
00:32:23,065 --> 00:32:25,434
Lewis!
483
00:32:25,434 --> 00:32:28,403
- Lewis!
- Lewis!
484
00:32:28,403 --> 00:32:31,940
- Lewis!
- Lewis!
485
00:32:45,187 --> 00:32:48,590
What kind of celebrity bird
would hang out here?
486
00:32:50,092 --> 00:32:53,462
Bottom line,
a pigeon's a pigeon.
487
00:32:53,462 --> 00:32:57,966
Yeah, though some silly fucker
would still pay £70,000 for one.
488
00:32:57,966 --> 00:33:01,937
Uh, look, I thought, you know,
go big or go home.
489
00:33:01,937 --> 00:33:05,540
I would go home,
but you've remortgaged it!
490
00:33:05,540 --> 00:33:10,345
The real betrayal is
the deception and the lies.
491
00:33:10,345 --> 00:33:14,049
Not a word to me after 22 years.
492
00:33:14,049 --> 00:33:16,485
- Well, you'd only have said no.
- Seventy grand on a thing
493
00:33:16,485 --> 00:33:19,221
with feathers you can't
even wear on a Friday night?
494
00:33:19,221 --> 00:33:22,457
- You're damn right I would.
- Yeah, you have no faith in me.
495
00:33:22,457 --> 00:33:24,993
None at all.
You never have had.
496
00:33:24,993 --> 00:33:26,961
You think I'm usel--
497
00:33:37,572 --> 00:33:39,674
This is ridiculous.
498
00:33:39,674 --> 00:33:42,277
How many CEOs are out looking
for pigeons, do you think?
499
00:33:43,945 --> 00:33:45,981
I only went out with Lomper
for a few months.
500
00:33:45,981 --> 00:33:47,649
Boy, have I paid for that.
501
00:33:47,649 --> 00:33:48,883
Nope.
502
00:33:50,051 --> 00:33:52,354
I've got way too much on
for this.
503
00:33:57,592 --> 00:33:59,327
- Lewis!
- Lewis!
504
00:33:59,327 --> 00:34:01,630
- Lewis. Lewis.
- Lewis.
505
00:34:01,630 --> 00:34:04,199
Lewis. Lewis.
506
00:34:04,199 --> 00:34:06,101
Lewis.
507
00:34:11,439 --> 00:34:13,975
Oh, don't tell me Lewis is in
there getting a bit of shopping.
508
00:34:13,975 --> 00:34:15,576
Nah, it's menswear.
509
00:34:15,977 --> 00:34:17,879
See this hoodie?
510
00:34:17,879 --> 00:34:19,114
Is that--
511
00:34:19,114 --> 00:34:20,916
I don't know.
512
00:34:20,916 --> 00:34:22,383
Could I wear that?
513
00:34:24,052 --> 00:34:25,887
- Guess so. Why not?
- Mmm.
514
00:34:25,887 --> 00:34:28,657
You'd be bang on trend
with that, Mr Horsfall.
515
00:34:28,657 --> 00:34:31,493
- You're not taking the piss?
- No.
516
00:34:31,493 --> 00:34:33,428
All right. I'll catch you up.
517
00:34:46,508 --> 00:34:48,310
I can see you moving.
518
00:34:48,310 --> 00:34:49,644
What?
519
00:34:49,644 --> 00:34:51,513
Oh, Garry.
520
00:34:51,513 --> 00:34:53,648
I thought you was
one of them living statues.
521
00:34:53,648 --> 00:34:56,084
- You're not, are you?
- No.
522
00:34:56,084 --> 00:34:58,387
Funny way to earn a living,
if you ask me.
523
00:34:58,387 --> 00:35:01,256
You wanna get yourself
a proper bloody job.
524
00:35:01,256 --> 00:35:04,059
Not that there are
any proper bloody jobs anymore.
525
00:35:04,059 --> 00:35:06,494
I'm looking for a pigeon.
526
00:35:08,029 --> 00:35:10,999
Not often I say this about you,
527
00:35:10,999 --> 00:35:14,870
but you have a success story
on your hands here, kid.
528
00:35:14,870 --> 00:35:17,405
No. A particular pi--
529
00:35:20,074 --> 00:35:21,109
Andy.
530
00:35:22,110 --> 00:35:23,912
Don't move.
531
00:35:23,912 --> 00:35:25,980
I don't much these days.
532
00:35:39,694 --> 00:35:41,630
I've got it.
533
00:35:41,630 --> 00:35:42,898
I'm a grand up.
534
00:35:47,335 --> 00:35:50,372
Stood there
most of the day, I was.
535
00:35:50,372 --> 00:35:54,176
One particular little bugger
on me head most of the time.
536
00:35:54,176 --> 00:35:56,111
- Still, worth it.
537
00:35:56,111 --> 00:35:58,513
Do you do cash, Lomps?
538
00:36:02,050 --> 00:36:03,918
That's not her.
539
00:36:05,086 --> 00:36:06,254
It is.
540
00:36:06,254 --> 00:36:07,556
Got the thingy on its leg.
541
00:36:07,556 --> 00:36:09,124
Has to be. Look, the tag.
542
00:36:09,124 --> 00:36:10,525
Tag's from Barnsley Loft.
543
00:36:12,227 --> 00:36:13,328
You sure?
544
00:36:13,328 --> 00:36:14,595
Looks nowt like her, Gaz.
545
00:36:16,431 --> 00:36:17,465
Great.
546
00:36:23,705 --> 00:36:26,574
Pigeon shit all over me jacket.
547
00:36:34,449 --> 00:36:36,151
I see you're hiring.
548
00:36:36,151 --> 00:36:38,053
Uh, yeah.
549
00:36:38,053 --> 00:36:40,922
How are you with cappuccinos,
frappuccinos, espressos, mochas?
550
00:36:44,125 --> 00:36:45,293
I can do coffee.
551
00:37:06,247 --> 00:37:07,282
Hiya.
552
00:37:09,451 --> 00:37:11,286
Hiya, love.
553
00:37:11,286 --> 00:37:12,353
Been out?
554
00:37:13,555 --> 00:37:15,223
Yeah.
555
00:37:18,993 --> 00:37:20,896
I have.
556
00:37:20,896 --> 00:37:21,996
Mmm.
557
00:37:26,201 --> 00:37:27,435
So, uh...
558
00:37:29,237 --> 00:37:31,106
what do you think?
559
00:37:31,106 --> 00:37:32,174
Of what?
560
00:37:32,174 --> 00:37:34,942
- The-- The togs.
- Hmm?
561
00:37:38,913 --> 00:37:42,584
Oh. Been raiding
the lost property box again?
562
00:37:42,584 --> 00:37:44,853
No, no. I went shoppin'.
563
00:37:44,853 --> 00:37:46,121
Did ya?
564
00:37:46,121 --> 00:37:47,322
What for?
565
00:37:47,322 --> 00:37:50,992
Well, uh... smarten up a bit.
566
00:37:50,992 --> 00:37:52,661
Oh.
567
00:37:52,661 --> 00:37:54,629
Good for you.
568
00:37:56,097 --> 00:37:58,433
Um, listen, I've, um, gotta...
569
00:38:00,034 --> 00:38:02,070
- Uh, there's, um...
570
00:38:03,338 --> 00:38:06,474
half a-- half a lasagne left
in the, uh...
571
00:38:08,143 --> 00:38:10,679
...in the, uh--
in the kitchen...
572
00:38:12,013 --> 00:38:15,016
if you're, uh-- you're hungry.
573
00:38:16,852 --> 00:38:20,121
Sorry, man.
I hope you find something.
574
00:39:16,478 --> 00:39:19,114
No, couldn't find her.
575
00:39:23,418 --> 00:39:25,953
I know I moan
about this place a lot...
576
00:39:27,989 --> 00:39:29,290
...but I will miss it.
577
00:39:30,158 --> 00:39:35,063
It's more than a café.
It's a place where people come.
578
00:39:35,063 --> 00:39:37,566
I mean, who else is
gonna give Horse free cake?
579
00:39:37,566 --> 00:39:39,968
You give him free cake?
580
00:39:39,968 --> 00:39:41,436
Of course I do.
581
00:39:41,436 --> 00:39:43,838
He hasn't got two pennies
to rub together, has he?
582
00:39:44,806 --> 00:39:47,408
Where are folks like him
gonna go when we shut, eh?
583
00:39:48,443 --> 00:39:51,646
Do you think Costa and Starbucks
are gonna give them free cake?
584
00:39:56,251 --> 00:39:58,019
It had a purpose, this place.
585
00:39:59,220 --> 00:40:00,521
I had a purpose.
586
00:40:04,159 --> 00:40:06,428
How did we come to this, Lomper?
587
00:40:08,096 --> 00:40:09,197
I don't know.
588
00:40:10,565 --> 00:40:13,434
All that debt, the risk.
589
00:40:14,269 --> 00:40:16,438
Those people
in cheap leather jackets.
590
00:40:16,438 --> 00:40:18,139
I mean, I say leather.
591
00:40:21,443 --> 00:40:22,643
What possessed you?
592
00:40:25,113 --> 00:40:27,148
I wanted you to notice me.
593
00:40:28,116 --> 00:40:30,051
Well, mostly, I'm invisible.
594
00:40:32,053 --> 00:40:35,290
Then, every once in a while,
you spot I'm here,
595
00:40:35,290 --> 00:40:38,293
and there's this look
crosses your face
596
00:40:38,293 --> 00:40:40,896
like you really
don't like me anymore.
597
00:40:40,896 --> 00:40:42,230
Well, I do.
598
00:40:45,600 --> 00:40:50,038
You said you want-- wanted
adventure in therapy that time.
599
00:40:50,038 --> 00:40:52,007
Uh, I thought with Lewis,
600
00:40:52,007 --> 00:40:54,076
maybe I could do
something a bit adventurous,
601
00:40:54,076 --> 00:40:59,347
something to surprise you,
to make you proud of me.
602
00:40:59,347 --> 00:41:01,049
The surprise bit worked.
603
00:41:03,084 --> 00:41:06,054
I mean, every couple has
their ups and downs, right?
604
00:41:08,189 --> 00:41:09,624
When was the last up?
605
00:41:13,027 --> 00:41:15,063
Old Andy's 70th.
606
00:41:15,063 --> 00:41:17,532
That's only 'cause
you put Gaz's cocaine
607
00:41:17,532 --> 00:41:19,201
on your dinner.
608
00:41:22,971 --> 00:41:24,472
Best chips I've ever had.
609
00:41:26,141 --> 00:41:27,642
That were eight years ago, Den.
610
00:41:29,511 --> 00:41:30,945
Really?
611
00:41:33,715 --> 00:41:35,049
I disappoint you.
612
00:41:36,451 --> 00:41:38,519
I do. I wish I didn't, but I do.
613
00:41:42,257 --> 00:41:44,359
I'll go sleep up on Edge.
614
00:41:44,359 --> 00:41:46,427
You never know.
She may come back.
615
00:41:49,497 --> 00:41:52,600
But even if she don't,
you deserve better, Dennis.
616
00:42:32,074 --> 00:42:34,009
- Get out me room!
617
00:42:34,009 --> 00:42:37,379
- You're scaring the neighbours.
- Get out my fucking room!
618
00:42:37,379 --> 00:42:40,515
See, that's what
I'm talking about, innit?
619
00:42:41,316 --> 00:42:43,385
If I start sharing the rent
with your mum,
620
00:42:43,385 --> 00:42:46,454
then...
is it your fucking room?
621
00:42:47,422 --> 00:42:48,423
Discuss.
622
00:42:49,624 --> 00:42:52,860
Look, I'm trying
to be reasonable here.
623
00:42:54,529 --> 00:42:56,431
Your mum and I love each other.
624
00:42:56,431 --> 00:42:59,568
You don't like that. I get it.
625
00:42:59,568 --> 00:43:04,372
So, 500 is a deposit
on a room somewhere.
626
00:43:04,372 --> 00:43:07,275
And you can stop paying me back
for the windscreen.
627
00:43:07,275 --> 00:43:08,977
My mum know you're
trying to blackmail me
628
00:43:08,977 --> 00:43:10,045
out me own house, does she?
629
00:43:12,313 --> 00:43:14,149
And who do you think
she's gonna believe?
630
00:43:15,951 --> 00:43:18,953
Worked out well
last time, didn't it?
631
00:43:26,228 --> 00:43:27,995
Oh. No hurry.
632
00:44:10,405 --> 00:44:11,873
Vince.
633
00:44:11,873 --> 00:44:14,342
Vince, I've seen her
near the stadium!
634
00:44:14,342 --> 00:44:15,610
Call Dennis for me!
635
00:44:17,679 --> 00:44:19,981
- Let's go.
636
00:44:19,981 --> 00:44:22,551
Make sure the ball gets to feet.
Let's have good headers.
637
00:44:24,553 --> 00:44:25,987
Gaffer, gaffer.
638
00:44:27,355 --> 00:44:29,424
I'm not good with heights, Vince.
639
00:44:29,424 --> 00:44:31,526
Not-- Not good at all.
640
00:44:31,526 --> 00:44:34,262
No? Then how about I
don't push you off
641
00:44:34,262 --> 00:44:35,363
if you get the bird?
642
00:44:35,363 --> 00:44:36,497
Deal.
643
00:44:38,199 --> 00:44:39,434
Come on. Lewis.
644
00:44:39,434 --> 00:44:41,303
Lewis. Come on, Lewis.
645
00:44:41,303 --> 00:44:43,071
Come on. Come on.
646
00:44:43,071 --> 00:44:45,874
Since when's a pigeon turn
its beak up at grain?
647
00:44:45,874 --> 00:44:48,409
She's a quality bird, Vince.
I've always said so.
648
00:44:50,044 --> 00:44:52,581
Lomper!
What are you doing?!
649
00:44:52,581 --> 00:44:54,182
Come down!
650
00:44:54,182 --> 00:44:55,584
No!
651
00:44:55,584 --> 00:44:58,320
Please, don't be an idiot!
652
00:44:58,320 --> 00:45:01,289
I'm-- I'm not! I-I've found her!
653
00:45:01,289 --> 00:45:02,491
Lewis!
654
00:45:02,491 --> 00:45:04,025
Oh, no.
655
00:45:05,660 --> 00:45:09,297
Mr Sang-Chol would prefer
that Mr Lomper comes to Earth.
656
00:45:09,297 --> 00:45:11,967
Yeah, me too, darling. Me too.
657
00:45:11,967 --> 00:45:14,369
She's gone down here, Vince.
I'm sure of it.
658
00:45:14,369 --> 00:45:16,671
I'm coming, I'm coming.
I'm right behind ya.
659
00:45:19,274 --> 00:45:22,978
He says that at least it would
be an honourable death.
660
00:45:22,978 --> 00:45:26,581
Right. Well, you tell him
another comment like that,
661
00:45:26,581 --> 00:45:29,618
and I'll bloody drop him. That's
my man we're talking about.
662
00:45:29,618 --> 00:45:32,187
- Lomper!
663
00:45:34,189 --> 00:45:35,456
I found her, Vince!
664
00:45:38,593 --> 00:45:40,395
I think I know why
she's not coming.
665
00:45:40,395 --> 00:45:42,531
Oh, let me guess.
666
00:45:42,531 --> 00:45:44,866
The grain's not fucking organic.
667
00:45:44,866 --> 00:45:47,069
No, I know exactly why.
668
00:45:47,069 --> 00:45:50,072
- Come on. Come on.
669
00:45:50,072 --> 00:45:51,506
Lomper!
670
00:45:53,041 --> 00:45:54,976
Lomper, what the hell
are you doing?!
671
00:45:57,545 --> 00:46:00,648
- Lomper, get back here!
672
00:46:02,117 --> 00:46:04,219
Jesus, now what's he doing?
673
00:46:07,622 --> 00:46:09,891
Lomper,
what the hell are you doing?!
674
00:46:09,891 --> 00:46:11,593
I think she's laid!
675
00:46:11,593 --> 00:46:13,228
I don't care!
676
00:46:13,228 --> 00:46:15,497
For God's sake, come down!
677
00:46:15,497 --> 00:46:18,934
No. Whatever happens,
you're not losing Grand Pain.
678
00:46:18,934 --> 00:46:22,904
Grand Pain. How many times?
679
00:46:22,904 --> 00:46:24,339
What?!
680
00:46:24,339 --> 00:46:28,643
Look, I don't care about
Le Grand--the café.
681
00:46:28,643 --> 00:46:32,213
I don't care
about anything except you!
682
00:46:33,982 --> 00:46:35,350
I love ya.
683
00:46:37,685 --> 00:46:38,886
Really?
684
00:46:40,221 --> 00:46:41,623
- Oh!
- Lomper!
685
00:46:43,024 --> 00:46:44,325
Lomper!
686
00:46:45,260 --> 00:46:49,331
- Come down, for God's sake!
687
00:47:03,478 --> 00:47:05,013
We have eggs!
688
00:47:05,013 --> 00:47:06,881
Yes. Yes!
689
00:47:23,432 --> 00:47:26,334
Is that enough adventure
for ya?!
690
00:47:49,958 --> 00:47:51,493
Hey, no, Dennis.
691
00:47:51,493 --> 00:47:53,628
Dennis, Dennis, wait, wait.
No, no, no!
692
00:47:53,628 --> 00:47:55,464
Oh, you daredevil!
693
00:48:07,408 --> 00:48:08,443
Oh.
694
00:48:23,591 --> 00:48:25,494
- Game on!
695
00:48:30,465 --> 00:48:32,467
Oh!
47618
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