All language subtitles for Never.Have_.I.Ever_.S03E04.made_.someone.jealous.1080p.NF_.WEB-DL.DDP5_.1.H.264-SMURF (1)

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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:08,675 --> 00:00:11,469 ♪ Until the day that I met you... ♪ 2 00:00:11,553 --> 00:00:13,638 This is Devi Vishwakumar, 3 00:00:13,722 --> 00:00:16,725 a 16-year-old girl from the San Fernando Valley... 4 00:00:18,560 --> 00:00:21,021 ...and now Paxton's ex-girlfriend. 5 00:00:21,104 --> 00:00:21,938 Remember this? 6 00:00:22,022 --> 00:00:23,356 Look, I'm sorry. 7 00:00:23,440 --> 00:00:27,444 The moment where Devi blew it with her dream man for the second time. 8 00:00:27,527 --> 00:00:30,447 Yeah, we all lost something that day. 9 00:00:30,530 --> 00:00:34,159 As you can imagine, she did not take it well 10 00:00:34,242 --> 00:00:37,871 and plunged headfirst into all of the stages of breakup grief. 11 00:00:37,954 --> 00:00:38,872 She raged. 12 00:00:38,955 --> 00:00:40,874 She wallowed. 13 00:00:41,833 --> 00:00:45,045 And after several long, pretty-hard-to-watch months, 14 00:00:45,628 --> 00:00:47,338 she finally accepted it. 15 00:00:47,839 --> 00:00:51,468 Also, this little bit was supposed to show the passing of time, 16 00:00:51,551 --> 00:00:54,345 but there aren't any seasons in Southern California. 17 00:00:54,429 --> 00:00:57,307 See, there are some little pumpkins on the porch. 18 00:00:57,390 --> 00:01:02,228 Anyway, now she was back to being her normal nerdy, Indian virgin self 19 00:01:02,312 --> 00:01:04,355 and was finally at peace with her breakup, 20 00:01:05,273 --> 00:01:08,735 and could now smile at Paxton without bursting into tears. 21 00:01:08,818 --> 00:01:11,321 - Hi. - Well, that is until she heard the news. 22 00:01:11,404 --> 00:01:13,239 Paxton has a new girlfriend. 23 00:01:13,865 --> 00:01:16,117 Yep. Hard to be at peace with that. 24 00:01:23,374 --> 00:01:24,374 How you feeling? 25 00:01:25,418 --> 00:01:27,003 You want a hit off my inhaler? 26 00:01:27,087 --> 00:01:28,379 No. No. I'm fine. 27 00:01:28,463 --> 00:01:31,132 I knew this day would come, and I feel very prepared for it. 28 00:01:32,133 --> 00:01:33,551 - Who is it? - Phoebe Hayward. 29 00:01:33,635 --> 00:01:36,679 Handjob Hayward? Sherman Oaks' hugest skankosaurus. 30 00:01:36,763 --> 00:01:38,223 Could he stoop any lower? 31 00:01:38,723 --> 00:01:41,226 I'm sorry. That wasn't very feminist of me. 32 00:01:41,726 --> 00:01:45,355 I'm sure all the rumors about her were perpetuated by the patriarchy. 33 00:01:45,438 --> 00:01:47,278 It's interesting how women can't rage 34 00:01:47,315 --> 00:01:51,194 without thinking about it in the context of other people's oppression. 35 00:01:51,277 --> 00:01:53,071 I'm really happy I'm a man. 36 00:01:53,154 --> 00:01:53,988 You okay? 37 00:01:54,072 --> 00:01:56,241 Uh... Yeah. I'm all right. 38 00:01:56,324 --> 00:01:58,159 I know it sucks he moved on before you, 39 00:01:58,243 --> 00:02:00,120 but it's not like you're a loser or anything. 40 00:02:00,203 --> 00:02:02,455 Look at Aneesa. She hasn't dated anyone since Ben. 41 00:02:02,539 --> 00:02:03,665 She hasn't, right? 42 00:02:03,748 --> 00:02:07,001 You would know better than we would. You guys are like such good friends now. 43 00:02:07,085 --> 00:02:09,337 Oh yeah, we're good friends now. 44 00:02:10,755 --> 00:02:13,967 Devi, please pick up some extra toilet paper on your way home tonight. 45 00:02:14,050 --> 00:02:17,196 And not the cheap kind. My guests deserve the one that feels like a little quilt. 46 00:02:17,220 --> 00:02:21,099 Great. While Paxton's banging the captain of the gymnastics team, 47 00:02:21,182 --> 00:02:23,476 I'll be making sure a bunch of elderly butts are clean. 48 00:02:23,560 --> 00:02:24,894 - Huh? - Uh... Nothing. 49 00:02:24,978 --> 00:02:27,313 My grandma's just throwing a party for Navaratri tonight. 50 00:02:27,397 --> 00:02:28,690 What's Navaratri? 51 00:02:28,773 --> 00:02:32,610 Oh, Navaratri is a nine-day Hindu festival that commemorates the great battle 52 00:02:32,694 --> 00:02:35,738 between the demon Mahishasura and goddess Durga. Right, Devi? 53 00:02:36,614 --> 00:02:38,741 Yeah. That's... That's basically it. 54 00:02:38,825 --> 00:02:40,910 She has no clue what Navaratri is. 55 00:02:40,994 --> 00:02:43,204 Ugh! It's gonna be all old people. 56 00:02:43,288 --> 00:02:46,374 I wish I wasn't so terrified of drugs, so I could be high for it. 57 00:02:46,457 --> 00:02:48,835 Oh, wait. Trent and Paxton are coming over. 58 00:02:48,918 --> 00:02:52,130 And I'm like, "Grandma, stop trying to eat your toothbrush. It's not a hot dog." 59 00:02:52,213 --> 00:02:53,965 Thanks to their best friends, 60 00:02:54,048 --> 00:02:58,261 Devi and Paxton were occasionally forced into awkward moments like this. 61 00:02:58,344 --> 00:02:59,554 - Hi. - Hey. 62 00:02:59,637 --> 00:03:01,264 Hey, babe. Hey, babe's friends. 63 00:03:01,347 --> 00:03:04,392 So as you may have heard, today is my 18th birthday. 64 00:03:04,475 --> 00:03:08,396 You announced it over the loudspeaker in the middle of the Pledge of Allegiance. 65 00:03:08,479 --> 00:03:09,522 Good ear, Crazy Devi. 66 00:03:09,606 --> 00:03:12,650 Anyway, I would like to give you, Paxton, my best friend, 67 00:03:12,734 --> 00:03:16,654 and you, Eleanor, my girlfriend, a chance to throw me a birthday party tonight. 68 00:03:17,238 --> 00:03:18,781 Oh, okay. 69 00:03:18,865 --> 00:03:21,492 Kind of late notice, but I guess we can do that. 70 00:03:21,576 --> 00:03:22,577 Of course we can. 71 00:03:22,660 --> 00:03:25,121 Oh my God, you guys, that's so generous of you. 72 00:03:25,205 --> 00:03:26,497 We could do it at my place. 73 00:03:26,581 --> 00:03:29,709 My folks will be in Morongo trying to gamble back the car they lost. 74 00:03:29,792 --> 00:03:32,378 Cool. So, what are you thinking theme-wise? 75 00:03:32,462 --> 00:03:35,924 I would love to throw an Age of Innocence party with little masks. 76 00:03:36,007 --> 00:03:38,343 I want this to be the most insane, puke-filled rager 77 00:03:38,426 --> 00:03:40,762 in the history of the school and everybody has gotta come. 78 00:03:40,845 --> 00:03:43,598 Eleanor, bring your friend. Friend, bring your robot. 79 00:03:43,681 --> 00:03:47,393 Paxton, bring your new girlfriend. And, Paxton, bring your old girlfriend. 80 00:03:48,102 --> 00:03:50,647 Oh, uh, Trent, I actually can't come tonight. 81 00:03:50,730 --> 00:03:53,858 It's a huge Hindu holiday. So gotta celebrate that. 82 00:03:53,942 --> 00:03:57,612 Oh, that's a bummer to hear, but honestly, we're not really that close of friends. 83 00:03:57,695 --> 00:03:59,375 So I'm not going to change the date, okay? 84 00:03:59,447 --> 00:04:00,447 Okay. 85 00:04:08,498 --> 00:04:09,498 Hey. 86 00:04:09,832 --> 00:04:11,251 Oh. Uh, hi. 87 00:04:11,751 --> 00:04:13,836 So, listen, I know why you're not going to Trent's. 88 00:04:13,920 --> 00:04:15,672 You've heard of Navaratri too? 89 00:04:15,755 --> 00:04:18,007 Damn. Was it in an episode of Indian Matchmaking? 90 00:04:18,091 --> 00:04:20,385 Devi, come on. I know you're not very religious. 91 00:04:20,468 --> 00:04:22,679 You're not going to Trent's because of Phoebe, right? 92 00:04:22,762 --> 00:04:24,264 No, no, no, no. It's a real holiday. 93 00:04:24,347 --> 00:04:27,350 It's about... Hold on. Let me talk to Fabiola. 94 00:04:27,433 --> 00:04:28,434 No, no. It's okay. 95 00:04:28,518 --> 00:04:31,229 All I wanted to say is I know we haven't talked in a while, 96 00:04:31,312 --> 00:04:34,190 but I-I'm really sorry if this Phoebe thing hurts you. 97 00:04:34,274 --> 00:04:35,274 Hurts me? 98 00:04:35,733 --> 00:04:37,443 No. I'm fine, brosef. 99 00:04:37,527 --> 00:04:42,448 I'm also talking to people, loads of guys, so... 100 00:04:42,532 --> 00:04:45,785 Okay. I thought we could have an honest conversation here, 101 00:04:45,868 --> 00:04:48,121 but maybe it's too soon for that. 102 00:04:49,747 --> 00:04:52,125 Uh... I was being honest. 103 00:04:52,208 --> 00:04:57,088 It's a real holiday, and I'm happy, and healthy, and Hindu. 104 00:04:57,839 --> 00:04:59,799 You should've seen the look of pity on his face. 105 00:04:59,882 --> 00:05:02,218 He, like, totally thought I was lying. 106 00:05:02,302 --> 00:05:04,342 You were kinda lying about talking to loads of guys. 107 00:05:04,387 --> 00:05:06,639 No, I wasn't. I talked to like ten guys today. 108 00:05:06,723 --> 00:05:09,642 When you bitched out the percussion section for being off tempo? 109 00:05:09,726 --> 00:05:11,019 And what about it, Fabiola? 110 00:05:11,102 --> 00:05:13,938 Okay. Listen, you have to go to Trent's tonight. 111 00:05:14,022 --> 00:05:17,358 Yeah. Otherwise, you're gonna seem so heartbroken and pathetic, 112 00:05:17,442 --> 00:05:18,693 maybe even borderline obsessed. 113 00:05:18,776 --> 00:05:20,945 Which I'm not. I'm totally fine. 114 00:05:21,029 --> 00:05:22,989 I know, which is why you have to go. 115 00:05:23,072 --> 00:05:25,283 Yeah. But how do I get out of Navaratri? 116 00:05:25,867 --> 00:05:28,619 Devi... How are you not dressed yet? 117 00:05:28,703 --> 00:05:31,289 Get ready, and go bring your grandmother the butter. 118 00:05:31,372 --> 00:05:33,916 She has a bangle stuck on her wrist. 119 00:05:35,543 --> 00:05:36,377 Oh! 120 00:05:38,087 --> 00:05:39,087 Bye. 121 00:05:43,176 --> 00:05:45,136 Pati, your Golu is so fire. 122 00:05:45,219 --> 00:05:50,266 Like, look at this. You got Lord Ganesha, Durga, Lakshmi, you know, all the OGs. 123 00:05:50,350 --> 00:05:51,184 That's right. 124 00:05:51,267 --> 00:05:55,188 But then you got some straight-up flare like this little crystal dolphin 125 00:05:55,271 --> 00:05:56,981 or DIY Sanjay Gupta. 126 00:05:57,065 --> 00:05:58,983 - Hubba-hubba. - Yo. 127 00:05:59,067 --> 00:06:01,402 You are gonna own all the other aunties' Golus. 128 00:06:01,486 --> 00:06:03,154 It's not a competition, Devi. 129 00:06:03,237 --> 00:06:05,448 Yeah, right. The whole reason you throw a Golu 130 00:06:05,531 --> 00:06:07,251 is so you can stunt on the other old ladies. 131 00:06:07,283 --> 00:06:10,161 - Am I right, Pati? - Yes. I plan to stunt hard. 132 00:06:10,244 --> 00:06:13,748 That's why I have this pièce de résistance. 133 00:06:14,582 --> 00:06:16,542 - Uh, what is that? - A Bloomie's bag. 134 00:06:16,626 --> 00:06:18,127 Not even from the outlet. 135 00:06:18,211 --> 00:06:21,547 And there's even a receipt inside from my Shiseido's perfume. 136 00:06:21,631 --> 00:06:25,843 That gossipy cow Smita is gonna faint when she sees this. 137 00:06:25,927 --> 00:06:28,846 Mami, why did you invite Smita if you hate her so much? 138 00:06:28,930 --> 00:06:30,056 Because she's my friend. 139 00:06:30,139 --> 00:06:33,601 Although I know she's going to go on and on about her granddaughter's wedding 140 00:06:33,684 --> 00:06:34,852 at the Universal Studios. 141 00:06:35,645 --> 00:06:38,272 If only I could have something to brag about to her. 142 00:06:38,356 --> 00:06:40,956 Well, you could tell her that I've been dating a very nice teacher 143 00:06:41,025 --> 00:06:42,402 who I like very much. 144 00:06:42,902 --> 00:06:43,820 No. 145 00:06:43,903 --> 00:06:46,989 Why won't you go out with any of the other young men I've introduced you to? 146 00:06:47,073 --> 00:06:51,494 Because, once again, I am seeing Manish, and if you just give him a chance... 147 00:06:51,577 --> 00:06:52,787 I have given him many chances. 148 00:06:52,870 --> 00:06:55,873 Surprising him with pop quizzes on Indian history is not a chance. 149 00:06:55,957 --> 00:06:58,334 It would have been had he gotten any answer right. 150 00:06:58,418 --> 00:07:01,212 You need to find someone who cares about our culture. 151 00:07:01,295 --> 00:07:04,924 That Manish probably thinks a Golu is a GoPro camera for the toilet. 152 00:07:05,007 --> 00:07:07,760 Damn, Pati. That was a savage burn. 153 00:07:08,719 --> 00:07:09,762 Sorry, Kamala. 154 00:07:09,846 --> 00:07:12,223 So, where should we put Sanjay? 155 00:07:12,306 --> 00:07:15,518 If he's in the center, the Golu will be too sexy. 156 00:07:15,601 --> 00:07:17,937 Hey! 157 00:07:18,563 --> 00:07:19,563 Hi. 158 00:07:23,401 --> 00:07:27,363 Okay. We've got three kegs courtesy of the adult lady Uber driver I flirted with. 159 00:07:27,447 --> 00:07:30,867 - So we should be set for the evening. - Get me up, boys. Yeah! 160 00:07:30,950 --> 00:07:33,077 And now the boy becomes a man. 161 00:07:33,161 --> 00:07:34,161 Feed me. 162 00:07:34,203 --> 00:07:36,247 Aw. Trent seems happy. 163 00:07:36,330 --> 00:07:37,582 Yeah, he does. 164 00:07:37,665 --> 00:07:39,542 Hey, listen. Could you check on Devi tonight? 165 00:07:39,625 --> 00:07:41,669 She seemed kind of upset when I talked to her today. 166 00:07:41,752 --> 00:07:43,504 We've been out of touch for a while. 167 00:07:43,588 --> 00:07:47,175 - I just wanna make sure she's okay. - Oh, I'm sure she is. 168 00:07:47,258 --> 00:07:49,469 - I don't think she cares about your girl... - Hey! 169 00:07:49,552 --> 00:07:51,596 Oh wow! You look amazing! 170 00:07:52,638 --> 00:07:55,057 Oh, shit. Those are some small clothes. 171 00:07:58,769 --> 00:08:01,772 You have to pump it and tilt your cup, or it's gonna be all foam. 172 00:08:01,856 --> 00:08:03,941 God, have you never been to a party before? 173 00:08:04,025 --> 00:08:07,069 No. I was sick for a really long time. 174 00:08:07,695 --> 00:08:09,572 Oh. Sorry. 175 00:08:11,741 --> 00:08:13,534 Oh my God! What's your problem? 176 00:08:13,618 --> 00:08:16,078 How are you even condescending about beer? 177 00:08:16,162 --> 00:08:19,290 I'm not condescending. I get annoyed when people don't know how to do things. 178 00:08:19,373 --> 00:08:20,917 The problem with you, Ben, 179 00:08:21,000 --> 00:08:23,360 is that you think you're so much smarter than everyone else. 180 00:08:23,419 --> 00:08:26,130 And you're not. This is why Aneesa dumped you. 181 00:08:26,214 --> 00:08:28,716 Whatever. And I am smarter than most people. 182 00:08:28,799 --> 00:08:29,926 You're not smarter than me. 183 00:08:30,009 --> 00:08:33,596 Well, I mean, sure, you got a whole robotic science nerd thing going on, 184 00:08:33,679 --> 00:08:35,681 but I'm great in all my classes. 185 00:08:35,765 --> 00:08:38,017 You are so full of yourself. 186 00:08:38,100 --> 00:08:40,770 I bet I can beat you in any subject. Name one. 187 00:08:40,853 --> 00:08:42,772 Fine. How about history? 188 00:08:42,855 --> 00:08:44,065 Fantastic. 189 00:08:44,148 --> 00:08:45,525 Hey, Trent, do you still have 190 00:08:45,608 --> 00:08:47,568 our American History textbook from freshman year? 191 00:08:47,652 --> 00:08:50,446 Uh, yeah. I think it's propping up my grow lamp upstairs. 192 00:08:51,739 --> 00:08:54,033 All right, history it is. And you know what? 193 00:08:54,116 --> 00:08:56,285 Let's make it interesting. A drinking game. 194 00:08:56,369 --> 00:08:58,204 If you get one wrong, you drink. 195 00:08:58,287 --> 00:09:00,540 First person to tap out loses. 196 00:09:00,623 --> 00:09:02,667 You're on, and I'll never tap. 197 00:09:02,750 --> 00:09:05,253 I come from a long line of high-functioning alcoholics. 198 00:09:05,336 --> 00:09:08,589 And I come from a long line of people who never get any questions wrong. 199 00:09:08,673 --> 00:09:11,592 - Hmm. - Also, I'm really sorry about your family. 200 00:09:14,178 --> 00:09:18,849 And then after the vows, we went to the Transformers ride, 201 00:09:18,933 --> 00:09:21,477 and Optimus Prime gave his blessings. 202 00:09:21,561 --> 00:09:23,646 It was stunning. 203 00:09:23,729 --> 00:09:26,148 You are not going to believe this. 204 00:09:27,108 --> 00:09:29,277 This is what Phoebe is wearing! 205 00:09:29,360 --> 00:09:34,156 Oh, I will. We'll probably do something at Disneyland, with probably 2,000 people. 206 00:09:34,240 --> 00:09:36,993 Although, I don't know how we'll whittle down the guest list to that. 207 00:09:37,076 --> 00:09:38,428 Really? 208 00:09:38,452 --> 00:09:40,329 But who will be getting married? 209 00:09:40,413 --> 00:09:45,001 We'd heard about how things didn't go so well with that handsome engineer. 210 00:09:45,084 --> 00:09:47,336 Oh, such a shame. 211 00:09:47,420 --> 00:09:50,089 What's a real shame is how quickly your face-lift has relaxed. 212 00:09:50,172 --> 00:09:52,633 Okay. Okay. 213 00:09:52,717 --> 00:09:54,468 We'll just talk about something else. 214 00:09:54,552 --> 00:09:57,138 So Rhyah made the sundal. Isn't it delicious? 215 00:09:57,221 --> 00:09:59,849 Rhyah, can you please list every ingredient in this dish, please? 216 00:09:59,932 --> 00:10:02,995 Yeah, no, of course. So there's chickpeas that are organic and locally sourced, 217 00:10:03,019 --> 00:10:04,538 which does matter... 218 00:10:04,562 --> 00:10:07,273 - Locally sourced from... - Sorry. I have to take this call. 219 00:10:07,356 --> 00:10:10,109 - Please don't. - I'm so sorry. I know. Sweetheart, hi. 220 00:10:10,192 --> 00:10:12,278 Wait, we can be on our phones? BRB. 221 00:10:12,945 --> 00:10:15,031 Apparently, I have to be the cartoon hot dog 222 00:10:15,114 --> 00:10:18,701 before the movie starts and ask everyone to silence your phones. 223 00:10:20,494 --> 00:10:21,763 - Yo. - What's the latest? 224 00:10:21,787 --> 00:10:23,473 - Can you get out? - I don't know how. 225 00:10:23,497 --> 00:10:25,249 There's aunties parked at every exit. 226 00:10:27,627 --> 00:10:29,337 It's tighter security than a Sephora. 227 00:10:29,420 --> 00:10:31,255 Well, Paxton just asked me to check on you. 228 00:10:31,339 --> 00:10:33,007 I think he thinks you're like locked away 229 00:10:33,090 --> 00:10:35,843 in your room descending into madness, à la Queen's Gambit. 230 00:10:35,926 --> 00:10:39,096 Ugh! Damn. I just wish I had some kind of distraction. 231 00:10:41,682 --> 00:10:43,893 - Hello? - Holy shit. Mr. K.? 232 00:10:43,976 --> 00:10:45,936 Polite as always, Devi. 233 00:10:46,020 --> 00:10:48,814 Hey, El. I think I just found my window. 234 00:10:48,898 --> 00:10:51,484 - Hi, Manish. Welcome. - What is he doing here? 235 00:10:51,567 --> 00:10:55,488 Well, I thought Manish could come over and celebrate our culture with us, 236 00:10:55,571 --> 00:10:58,574 - and you could get to know one another. - Vanakkam, Auntie. 237 00:11:00,076 --> 00:11:01,494 All right, cool it, WikiFeet. 238 00:11:01,577 --> 00:11:05,247 - Yep. Sorry. It felt weird for me too. - Well, who do we have here? 239 00:11:05,331 --> 00:11:07,750 This is just Devi's teacher Mr. Kulkarni. 240 00:11:07,833 --> 00:11:11,754 He has stopped by to congratulate Devi on being such a great student. 241 00:11:11,837 --> 00:11:13,464 And he's also my boyfriend. 242 00:11:13,547 --> 00:11:16,717 Oh. Please come have a seat. 243 00:11:16,801 --> 00:11:19,303 Let us get to know you. Mmm? Come. 244 00:11:19,387 --> 00:11:21,806 Hey, Mom, it seems like there's a lot going on down here. 245 00:11:21,889 --> 00:11:25,226 So I'm just gonna go upstairs to my room for a sec. Got a little bit of a headache. 246 00:11:25,309 --> 00:11:27,186 Enna, kanna? Yeah. Sure. 247 00:11:35,778 --> 00:11:38,864 You are no one's obsessed, sad sack ex. 248 00:11:39,740 --> 00:11:40,574 Yeah. 249 00:11:44,620 --> 00:11:45,620 Hmph! 250 00:11:47,456 --> 00:11:50,292 Hey! What are you doing? 251 00:11:50,876 --> 00:11:52,420 Ah... 252 00:11:52,503 --> 00:11:56,132 It was so weird. My contact blew out of my eye and then onto the roof. 253 00:11:56,215 --> 00:11:59,135 - So... - Get back inside. Now. 254 00:12:00,052 --> 00:12:01,052 Okay. 255 00:12:01,637 --> 00:12:04,014 Your punishment is to sit and watch the aunties chew. 256 00:12:04,098 --> 00:12:06,308 - Okay. - Now hand out the vadais. Go. 257 00:12:10,688 --> 00:12:14,316 Nirmala Auntie, I couldn't help but notice how impressive your Golu is. 258 00:12:14,400 --> 00:12:19,363 It is a beautiful tribute to the goddess and her nine avatars. 259 00:12:19,447 --> 00:12:24,243 Last year, my Golu was seven steps, two more than Nirmala's. 260 00:12:24,326 --> 00:12:27,079 But your steps had a lot of empty spaces. 261 00:12:27,163 --> 00:12:30,040 I... I think five steps shows appropriate restraint 262 00:12:30,124 --> 00:12:32,585 in avoiding the consumerism of the holiday. 263 00:12:33,252 --> 00:12:35,629 Thank you, Manish. That's very kind of you to say. 264 00:12:35,713 --> 00:12:37,173 Help yourself to a vada. 265 00:12:38,299 --> 00:12:39,467 I could have a couple. 266 00:12:39,550 --> 00:12:40,550 - Just one. - Just... 267 00:12:40,593 --> 00:12:41,593 Okay. 268 00:12:42,762 --> 00:12:45,222 Rhyah, I was looking for you. 269 00:12:45,306 --> 00:12:47,266 Sorry. I was having a moment. 270 00:12:47,933 --> 00:12:48,933 Oh no. 271 00:12:49,685 --> 00:12:51,520 Are you okay? What's going on? 272 00:12:52,396 --> 00:12:54,315 I was just talking to my son. 273 00:12:54,398 --> 00:12:57,735 He's just finished this high school program at sea 274 00:12:57,818 --> 00:12:59,987 for aspiring marine biologists. 275 00:13:00,070 --> 00:13:02,782 And he actually studied a sea slug colony. 276 00:13:02,865 --> 00:13:05,218 Ever since he got back, his friends won't hang out with him, 277 00:13:05,242 --> 00:13:06,994 and one even called him Dork Cousteau. 278 00:13:07,077 --> 00:13:09,747 And now he's home alone, and it just breaks my heart. 279 00:13:09,830 --> 00:13:12,708 If there was one thing Nalini could relate to, 280 00:13:12,792 --> 00:13:16,003 it was the pain of having your nerdy child ostracized. 281 00:13:16,086 --> 00:13:17,463 I know what that's like. 282 00:13:17,546 --> 00:13:19,506 People have called my daughter all sorts of names. 283 00:13:19,548 --> 00:13:23,093 I wish I could just go and make him some new friends instead of those little, 284 00:13:23,177 --> 00:13:25,012 pardon my language, assholes. 285 00:13:27,640 --> 00:13:29,016 But I know I can't. 286 00:13:31,227 --> 00:13:32,394 Go see your friends and... 287 00:13:32,478 --> 00:13:36,190 Okay. Wait, so now you want me to go to the party at Trent's house? 288 00:13:36,690 --> 00:13:37,690 Are you having a stroke? 289 00:13:37,733 --> 00:13:40,110 No. I take a baby aspirin with my tea every morning. 290 00:13:40,194 --> 00:13:41,403 Okay. Then, what's up? 291 00:13:41,487 --> 00:13:42,947 I want you to go to the party, 292 00:13:43,030 --> 00:13:45,074 and I want you to take Rhyah's son with you. 293 00:13:45,658 --> 00:13:46,909 What? Who's Rhyah's son? 294 00:13:46,992 --> 00:13:49,787 He's a sweet boy who has no friends and studies sea slugs. 295 00:13:49,870 --> 00:13:50,955 His name is Nirdesh. 296 00:13:51,038 --> 00:13:52,081 Nirdesh? 297 00:13:52,164 --> 00:13:53,582 Are you kidding me? 298 00:13:53,666 --> 00:13:56,919 Yeah, that sounds like a parody of an Indian nerd. I'd rather just not go. 299 00:13:57,002 --> 00:13:59,380 What? You were so excited about this party a minute ago. 300 00:13:59,463 --> 00:14:02,299 You were throwing your body off the roof. 301 00:14:02,383 --> 00:14:05,928 Hey, not to alarm you, but people overheard my call to you, 302 00:14:06,011 --> 00:14:08,597 and now they actually do think you're descending into madness. 303 00:14:08,681 --> 00:14:10,099 So, get here soon, okay? 304 00:14:10,182 --> 00:14:11,809 Ugh! Fine. 305 00:14:11,892 --> 00:14:14,687 I'll go to the party, and I'll take Nirdesh with me. 306 00:14:14,770 --> 00:14:17,690 Excellent. And make sure no one bullies him there. 307 00:14:17,773 --> 00:14:19,733 He's already been picked on enough. 308 00:14:24,321 --> 00:14:25,531 Hey, hey. I'm here. 309 00:14:25,614 --> 00:14:31,871 Hi. Oh my gosh, I don't know where Paxton and Phoebe went, but you look so cute. 310 00:14:31,954 --> 00:14:34,665 When they see you, they're not gonna think obsessive depressive. 311 00:14:34,748 --> 00:14:36,834 They're gonna think impressive successive. 312 00:14:36,917 --> 00:14:38,711 I think you mean successful. 313 00:14:38,794 --> 00:14:40,671 Yeah, but that doesn't sound as jazzy. 314 00:14:40,754 --> 00:14:44,466 Sure. So there's just one small, tiny hiccup tonight. 315 00:14:44,550 --> 00:14:47,761 My mom wouldn't let me come unless I brought one of her friends' loser kids. 316 00:14:47,845 --> 00:14:48,971 He's meeting me here. 317 00:14:49,054 --> 00:14:50,514 Oh, this is him. 318 00:14:50,598 --> 00:14:52,391 "Hi, it's Nirdesh." 319 00:14:52,474 --> 00:14:53,601 "I'm running behind." 320 00:14:53,684 --> 00:14:56,395 "I spilled some rasam on my sweater vest and had to change." 321 00:14:56,478 --> 00:14:57,730 "I should be there shortly." 322 00:14:57,813 --> 00:14:59,315 Yikes! 323 00:14:59,398 --> 00:15:01,734 This kid is like a medical-grade dork. 324 00:15:01,817 --> 00:15:03,569 Maybe we could tell everyone he's my cousin. 325 00:15:03,652 --> 00:15:05,487 Ow! Ben. 326 00:15:05,571 --> 00:15:06,771 Sorry, David, but we need you. 327 00:15:06,822 --> 00:15:09,617 If I asked you who fought at the Battle of Little Bighorn, 328 00:15:09,700 --> 00:15:12,328 and you said General Custard, that should count, right? 329 00:15:12,411 --> 00:15:15,581 Custard is a dessert. Custer is the general. 330 00:15:15,664 --> 00:15:17,207 Whatever! I've had four beers. 331 00:15:17,291 --> 00:15:18,542 What's the big deal? 332 00:15:18,626 --> 00:15:19,668 Drink, bitch. 333 00:15:19,752 --> 00:15:21,670 Ugh! You know what I meant. 334 00:15:22,212 --> 00:15:23,212 What are you guys doing? 335 00:15:23,255 --> 00:15:28,594 Playing a little drinking game called Are You Smarter Than a Ben? 336 00:15:29,219 --> 00:15:30,721 That was good. 337 00:15:30,804 --> 00:15:33,098 Oh my God. That is so lame. 338 00:15:33,182 --> 00:15:37,144 Ooh. What if I drop off my cousin with these two 339 00:15:37,227 --> 00:15:38,907 while I go make an appearance with Paxton? 340 00:15:38,938 --> 00:15:40,578 - You have a cousin coming? - I do. 341 00:15:40,606 --> 00:15:43,442 So if you see an Indian dork come through that door, let me know. 342 00:15:43,525 --> 00:15:46,236 I see an Indian guy coming through the door, 343 00:15:46,320 --> 00:15:49,114 but he definitely does not look like a dork. 344 00:15:49,198 --> 00:15:53,494 ♪ I can't let this end ♪ 345 00:15:53,577 --> 00:15:57,373 ♪ 'Cause I don't wanna be friends... ♪ 346 00:15:58,123 --> 00:15:59,959 Oh shit. 347 00:16:01,877 --> 00:16:04,755 I don't wanna jinx it, but I think this is going really well. 348 00:16:04,838 --> 00:16:06,757 Your grandmother even looked me in the eye once. 349 00:16:06,840 --> 00:16:08,425 I got too excited and I looked away. 350 00:16:08,509 --> 00:16:09,843 I know. I feel good about it too. 351 00:16:09,927 --> 00:16:11,804 What are you doing? 352 00:16:11,887 --> 00:16:14,640 Oh God, Manish. Did you take that off the step? 353 00:16:14,723 --> 00:16:16,558 I thought someone put it there as trash. 354 00:16:16,642 --> 00:16:18,227 There's a receipt in it and everything. 355 00:16:18,310 --> 00:16:20,354 The receipt is what makes it so special. 356 00:16:20,437 --> 00:16:22,648 This Bloomie's bag represented the American Dream, 357 00:16:22,731 --> 00:16:24,900 and you have filled it with dirty napkins. 358 00:16:24,984 --> 00:16:27,027 Oh my God. I am so, so sorry. 359 00:16:27,111 --> 00:16:28,612 - Ooh, do I hear drama? - No! 360 00:16:30,239 --> 00:16:32,741 - Oh my God. - Oh my God! Let me help you. 361 00:16:32,825 --> 00:16:35,035 No, uh, Manish. I think maybe you should just go. 362 00:16:35,119 --> 00:16:37,913 - Are you okay? - What are you doing? Who did this? 363 00:16:37,997 --> 00:16:40,624 Does that hurt? 364 00:16:41,667 --> 00:16:44,920 Hi, Devi? I'm Nirdesh, but my friends call me Des. 365 00:16:45,004 --> 00:16:45,838 Hi. 366 00:16:45,921 --> 00:16:48,424 How come your cousin's introducing himself to you? 367 00:16:48,507 --> 00:16:51,510 What? I'm not her cousin. Did you tell them I'm your cousin? 368 00:16:51,593 --> 00:16:54,221 Uh-huh. I may have said that. Yeah. 369 00:16:54,304 --> 00:16:57,016 Only because she thought you were gonna be a huge loser, 370 00:16:57,099 --> 00:16:58,434 which you're definitely not. 371 00:16:58,517 --> 00:17:02,021 You thought I was gonna be a huge loser based on what? 372 00:17:02,104 --> 00:17:06,483 Well, because certain cultural context clues and... 373 00:17:06,567 --> 00:17:07,567 Because I'm Indian? 374 00:17:08,318 --> 00:17:10,487 Okay, um, I think I'm good. 375 00:17:10,571 --> 00:17:12,489 Wait. Des, no. I'm so sorry. 376 00:17:12,573 --> 00:17:15,451 I did not mean to offend you. But, hey, let's be honest. 377 00:17:15,534 --> 00:17:17,369 There's a lot of nerdy Indian guys. 378 00:17:17,453 --> 00:17:21,665 Don't know if you know this, but your name does have the word "nerd" in it, so... 379 00:17:21,749 --> 00:17:25,294 Oh wow. You're the first person who's ever said that to me. 380 00:17:25,377 --> 00:17:27,421 Definitely no one in elementary school did. 381 00:17:28,047 --> 00:17:30,549 Look, it's... it's fine. I've met a million of you before. 382 00:17:30,632 --> 00:17:32,944 You're one of those Indian girls who only likes white guys, 383 00:17:32,968 --> 00:17:35,637 and thinks all Indian dudes are just computer geeks 384 00:17:35,721 --> 00:17:37,556 or cheesy club rats who wear too much cologne. 385 00:17:37,639 --> 00:17:39,266 No, that's not what I'm like. 386 00:17:39,349 --> 00:17:40,989 That's exactly what she's like. 387 00:17:41,060 --> 00:17:43,312 Okay, Des, I am so sorry. 388 00:17:43,395 --> 00:17:45,439 I didn't mean anything by it. 389 00:17:45,522 --> 00:17:48,025 Please just stay. And let's go get a drink and... 390 00:17:53,906 --> 00:17:54,740 I'm sorry. 391 00:18:03,874 --> 00:18:06,710 Hey, you okay? What happened? 392 00:18:07,294 --> 00:18:10,172 One minute you were apologizing to me for mild racism, 393 00:18:10,255 --> 00:18:11,548 the next, you're crying. 394 00:18:11,632 --> 00:18:14,718 Yeah, um, I'm sorry. Uh, that was my ex. 395 00:18:16,011 --> 00:18:18,806 Ah. Okay. I see. 396 00:18:18,889 --> 00:18:20,724 Yeah. Um... 397 00:18:21,892 --> 00:18:26,105 I thought I was ready to see him with someone new. 398 00:18:26,730 --> 00:18:29,149 I'd been practicing with stuffed animals from my room. 399 00:18:29,817 --> 00:18:31,193 Guess it didn't help. 400 00:18:31,693 --> 00:18:34,029 Well, look, now it's done. 401 00:18:34,113 --> 00:18:35,739 You saw your ex with someone else. 402 00:18:36,323 --> 00:18:37,533 You survived. 403 00:18:38,534 --> 00:18:40,035 That was the worst it's gonna be. 404 00:18:40,786 --> 00:18:42,246 Yeah, I guess. 405 00:18:43,372 --> 00:18:45,499 How does someone like you not have any friends? 406 00:18:45,582 --> 00:18:47,501 What? I have tons of friends. 407 00:18:47,584 --> 00:18:52,089 My mom said to take you tonight because all of your friends ditched you. 408 00:18:52,172 --> 00:18:54,299 Another reason I kind of thought you were a dork. 409 00:18:54,383 --> 00:18:55,676 Oh. 410 00:18:55,759 --> 00:18:57,886 My mom loves to exaggerate. 411 00:18:57,970 --> 00:19:00,347 Only one of my friends isn't talking to me right now 412 00:19:00,889 --> 00:19:02,891 and it's because I hooked up with a girl he liked. 413 00:19:03,517 --> 00:19:06,061 Twist! So you're not a dork. 414 00:19:06,145 --> 00:19:07,896 You're just a bad person? 415 00:19:07,980 --> 00:19:10,566 No, I didn't know he liked her, 416 00:19:10,649 --> 00:19:13,753 and he should've said something before I lived on a boat with her for 3 months. 417 00:19:13,777 --> 00:19:16,864 Everyone knows Semester at Sea is a floating hookup party. 418 00:19:17,489 --> 00:19:21,785 Shit. Was this kid somehow making sea slug school sound hot? 419 00:19:22,411 --> 00:19:26,331 Okay, so you're not a dork, and you're not a jerk. 420 00:19:26,915 --> 00:19:29,543 So, you're a nice, cool person? 421 00:19:30,252 --> 00:19:32,546 Yeah, and maybe I can help you out. 422 00:19:32,629 --> 00:19:35,841 What if we went back in there and made your ex jealous? 423 00:19:36,800 --> 00:19:39,386 Kind of seems fun, right? 424 00:19:41,763 --> 00:19:46,894 ♪ The paintings on the wall They keep haunting me ♪ 425 00:19:46,977 --> 00:19:51,982 ♪ Sometimes I feel alone Hide in my secrets you need to know ♪ 426 00:19:52,691 --> 00:19:54,985 ♪ I cannot feel no more... ♪ 427 00:19:55,068 --> 00:19:57,237 All right. I think we're exactly in his eyeline. 428 00:19:58,071 --> 00:20:00,741 ♪ Out in public to keep me up ♪ 429 00:20:00,824 --> 00:20:03,785 ♪ I don't like what I'm dreaming of ♪ 430 00:20:03,869 --> 00:20:06,330 ♪ Things we're taking don't give enough... ♪ 431 00:20:06,413 --> 00:20:07,915 Yes, Devi! 432 00:20:07,998 --> 00:20:10,918 Paxton's looking right at you, and he seems jealous. 433 00:20:11,543 --> 00:20:12,586 It's working. 434 00:20:13,086 --> 00:20:14,338 Devi, why aren't you looking? 435 00:20:16,048 --> 00:20:18,884 Oh, wait. I see what's happening here. 436 00:20:18,967 --> 00:20:21,553 ♪ But please don't go away ♪ 437 00:20:21,637 --> 00:20:25,182 ♪ I'll believe it all Every word you say ♪ 438 00:20:29,394 --> 00:20:31,104 You okay? 439 00:20:31,188 --> 00:20:33,482 Oh yes! Someone's puking. 440 00:20:33,565 --> 00:20:36,985 Thank you, babe. I can't believe all my birthday dreams are coming true. 441 00:20:38,862 --> 00:20:41,422 I'm really sorry I made you drink so much in the lightning round. 442 00:20:41,490 --> 00:20:45,577 I knew I had you on Reconstruction. I watched a PBS doc on it with Gears. 443 00:20:45,661 --> 00:20:47,120 It's okay. I deserve it. 444 00:20:47,788 --> 00:20:50,707 I know that I'm a dick sometimes. I get why you don't like me. 445 00:20:50,791 --> 00:20:52,084 It's not that I don't like you. 446 00:20:52,167 --> 00:20:54,628 I just don't like how you've treated my friends in the past. 447 00:20:55,087 --> 00:20:56,588 You were a real jerk to Aneesa. 448 00:20:57,214 --> 00:20:59,258 Yeah, can't argue with you on that one. 449 00:20:59,341 --> 00:21:02,302 And you were also so mean to Devi for, like, years. 450 00:21:02,386 --> 00:21:03,845 Not fair. She was also mean to me. 451 00:21:03,929 --> 00:21:06,431 Yeah, but you called us the UN, which was pretty brutal. 452 00:21:06,515 --> 00:21:07,755 Yeah, well, she broke my heart. 453 00:21:09,309 --> 00:21:10,310 She broke your heart? 454 00:21:12,688 --> 00:21:15,107 - Yeah, kinda. - Oh. 455 00:21:15,941 --> 00:21:17,609 I didn't know it was that deep. 456 00:21:18,527 --> 00:21:21,488 You probably don't need to tell her that. Okay? 457 00:21:22,656 --> 00:21:23,656 Okay. 458 00:21:24,074 --> 00:21:26,618 And I'll work on not being so condescending. 459 00:21:28,620 --> 00:21:29,620 You got a deal. 460 00:21:33,792 --> 00:21:37,921 There is no goodie bag that can make up for what has transpired tonight. 461 00:21:38,005 --> 00:21:41,675 Everyone is going to hear about this disgraceful event, Nirmala. 462 00:21:42,259 --> 00:21:43,510 Put the oxygen mask on her. 463 00:21:43,593 --> 00:21:46,972 I would never let anyone get injured at my Golu, 464 00:21:47,055 --> 00:21:49,224 because I know how to host properly! 465 00:21:49,308 --> 00:21:51,351 I am so sorry about this, Pati. 466 00:21:51,435 --> 00:21:54,896 This is exactly why I have my reservations about Manish. 467 00:21:54,980 --> 00:21:56,481 He made a mistake. 468 00:21:56,565 --> 00:21:59,484 And wasn't it a bit thrilling to see Smita Auntie take a little tumble? 469 00:21:59,568 --> 00:22:04,740 All it did was prove that this man has no respect for how things are done. 470 00:22:04,823 --> 00:22:08,160 And memorizing a Wikipedia page doesn't change that. 471 00:22:08,243 --> 00:22:11,288 But he makes me really happy. Doesn't that count for anything? 472 00:22:11,371 --> 00:22:13,373 Of course, I want you to be happy, 473 00:22:13,915 --> 00:22:15,959 but he is not a serious man. 474 00:22:16,460 --> 00:22:17,836 You don't want to be with someone 475 00:22:17,919 --> 00:22:20,297 who's constantly making messes for you to clean up. 476 00:22:20,380 --> 00:22:23,675 That's not who he is. He was trying really hard tonight. 477 00:22:23,759 --> 00:22:25,010 And look what happened. 478 00:22:25,093 --> 00:22:26,553 He crashed my party, 479 00:22:26,636 --> 00:22:29,765 ruined my Bloomie's bag, and sent my frenemy to the hospital. 480 00:22:29,848 --> 00:22:32,225 I'm really sorry, kanna. 481 00:22:32,309 --> 00:22:34,436 I cannot support this relationship, 482 00:22:35,145 --> 00:22:37,898 and I would prefer that you do not bring him over again. 483 00:22:39,107 --> 00:22:40,107 I understand, Pati, 484 00:22:40,984 --> 00:22:42,069 but I'm an adult. 485 00:22:43,153 --> 00:22:46,281 And I don't want to end things with him. So perhaps the best way forward 486 00:22:47,199 --> 00:22:48,367 is for me to move out. 487 00:22:57,292 --> 00:22:59,544 Well, this is my house. 488 00:23:01,922 --> 00:23:05,092 Thanks again for tonight. I had a really good time. 489 00:23:05,175 --> 00:23:06,175 I did too. 490 00:23:06,885 --> 00:23:08,303 It was kind of a rocky start... 491 00:23:09,638 --> 00:23:10,972 ...but then it was good. 492 00:23:11,932 --> 00:23:14,351 ♪ You're looking for the next thing ♪ 493 00:23:14,434 --> 00:23:15,745 ♪ Looking for the next dream... ♪ 494 00:23:15,769 --> 00:23:16,978 Uh... 495 00:23:17,062 --> 00:23:19,773 I should probably go inside. 496 00:23:19,856 --> 00:23:21,108 Okay. 497 00:23:21,191 --> 00:23:22,191 Yeah. Um... 498 00:23:22,609 --> 00:23:23,735 Well, um... 499 00:23:24,569 --> 00:23:26,196 Can I text you sometime? 500 00:23:28,824 --> 00:23:30,200 Yeah. For sure. 501 00:23:30,992 --> 00:23:33,620 ♪ Looking for, looking for life ♪ 502 00:23:34,663 --> 00:23:36,832 ♪ Not looking in the rearview ♪ 503 00:23:37,457 --> 00:23:40,335 ♪ Never saw it creeping up this time ♪ 504 00:23:41,211 --> 00:23:42,754 ♪ Searching for a clear view ♪ 505 00:23:46,007 --> 00:23:47,342 Oh, hi. 506 00:23:47,426 --> 00:23:49,719 You missed quite the evening here. 507 00:23:49,803 --> 00:23:52,013 Mmm, I saw. The neighbors are gonna be creeped out 508 00:23:52,097 --> 00:23:54,224 by all the broken doll bits in the recycling bin. 509 00:23:54,307 --> 00:23:55,307 Oh yeah. 510 00:23:55,642 --> 00:23:58,520 So Rhyah texted saying Nirdesh had a good time tonight. 511 00:23:58,603 --> 00:24:00,355 Really? He did? 512 00:24:00,981 --> 00:24:02,816 Uh... What exactly did she say? 513 00:24:03,608 --> 00:24:06,778 Just that you cheered him up, so thank you for that, kanna. 514 00:24:06,862 --> 00:24:09,322 However, you're still grounded for the rest of the weekend, 515 00:24:09,406 --> 00:24:13,493 and I will be asking your uncle to install security cameras outside your window. 516 00:24:13,994 --> 00:24:15,162 Nothing gets past me. 517 00:24:15,787 --> 00:24:16,787 Good night. 518 00:24:20,709 --> 00:24:23,003 ♪ Looking for the next thing ♪ 519 00:24:23,086 --> 00:24:25,297 ♪ Looking for the next dream ♪ 520 00:24:25,797 --> 00:24:27,174 ♪ Looking for life ♪ 521 00:24:27,257 --> 00:24:28,776 ♪ You're looking for the next thing ♪ 522 00:24:29,926 --> 00:24:31,928 ♪ Looking for the next dream ♪ 523 00:24:32,512 --> 00:24:34,848 ♪ Looking for, looking for life ♪ 524 00:24:35,932 --> 00:24:37,851 ♪ Not looking at the rearview ♪ 525 00:24:38,977 --> 00:24:41,688 ♪ Never saw it creeping up this time ♪ 526 00:24:42,772 --> 00:24:44,774 ♪ Searching for a clear view ♪ 527 00:24:45,859 --> 00:24:48,612 ♪ I should stop and rearrange my mind ♪ 528 00:24:49,488 --> 00:24:51,490 ♪ Not looking at the rearview ♪ 529 00:24:52,699 --> 00:24:55,410 ♪ Never saw it creeping up this time ♪ 530 00:24:56,453 --> 00:24:58,455 ♪ Searching for a clear view ♪ 531 00:24:59,581 --> 00:25:02,334 ♪ I should stop and rearrange my mind ♪ 532 00:25:14,554 --> 00:25:16,556 ♪ Drifting at the speed of light ♪ 533 00:25:17,974 --> 00:25:19,976 ♪ Darkness carries through the night ♪ 534 00:25:21,144 --> 00:25:23,438 ♪ A never-ending weight on my ♪ 43531

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