All language subtitles for 2323232

af Afrikaans
ak Akan
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bem Bemba
bn Bengali
bh Bihari
bs Bosnian
br Breton
bg Bulgarian
km Cambodian
ca Catalan
chr Cherokee
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
ee Ewe
fo Faroese
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gaa Ga
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gn Guarani
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew Download
hi Hindi
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ia Interlingua
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
rw Kinyarwanda
rn Kirundi
kg Kongo
ko Korean
kri Krio (Sierra Leone)
ku Kurdish
ckb Kurdish (Soranî)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Laothian
la Latin
lv Latvian
ln Lingala
lt Lithuanian
loz Lozi
lg Luganda
ach Luo
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mfe Mauritian Creole
mo Moldavian
mn Mongolian
sr-ME Montenegrin
ne Nepali
pcm Nigerian Pidgin
nso Northern Sotho
no Norwegian
nn Norwegian (Nynorsk)
oc Occitan
or Oriya
om Oromo
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt-BR Portuguese (Brazil)
pt-PT Portuguese (Portugal)
pa Punjabi
qu Quechua
ro Romanian
rm Romansh
nyn Runyakitara
ru Russian
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
sh Serbo-Croatian
st Sesotho
tn Setswana
crs Seychellois Creole
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhalese
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish
es-419 Spanish (Latin American)
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
tt Tatar
te Telugu
th Thai
ti Tigrinya
to Tonga
lua Tshiluba
tum Tumbuka
tr Turkish
tk Turkmen
tw Twi
ug Uighur
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
wo Wolof
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:08,967 --> 00:00:12,429 It's a beautiful morning at dunder Mifflin. 2 00:00:12,930 --> 00:00:15,349 Or as I like to call it, great Bratton. 3 00:00:15,599 --> 00:00:17,017 Keep it running. 4 00:00:18,060 --> 00:00:20,270 Creed: Do I love being manager? 5 00:00:21,063 --> 00:00:23,440 I love my kids. I love real estate. 6 00:00:23,607 --> 00:00:25,984 I love ceramics. I love my job. 7 00:00:26,068 --> 00:00:27,236 I love wrestling. 8 00:00:27,653 --> 00:00:29,321 Find out what language this is. 9 00:00:36,411 --> 00:00:38,539 Okay, team building. 10 00:00:38,622 --> 00:00:43,961 On this side of the room, Stanley, Phyllis, Jim, Ted, elroy. 11 00:00:44,044 --> 00:00:47,923 And on this side of the room, Pam, Meredith, Phyllis, creed... 12 00:00:48,549 --> 00:00:50,217 He never called a meeting. 13 00:00:51,218 --> 00:00:53,345 Boboddy. Boboddy. 14 00:00:53,428 --> 00:00:56,014 What does the first "b" stand for? 15 00:00:56,682 --> 00:00:57,683 What are we doing? 16 00:00:57,766 --> 00:01:01,562 We're making acronyms. Okay! What does the first "b" stand for? 17 00:01:01,687 --> 00:01:03,355 Um, business! 18 00:01:03,647 --> 00:01:04,773 I like it! 19 00:01:05,649 --> 00:01:07,734 Business. Good, Kevin! 20 00:01:07,818 --> 00:01:09,570 All right, the "o." 21 00:01:10,279 --> 00:01:12,030 We need a new manager. 22 00:01:53,238 --> 00:01:54,990 So, after the Navy, I thought, 23 00:01:55,073 --> 00:01:58,577 "cool, me and america are square. I've done my bit for the flag, 24 00:01:58,660 --> 00:02:00,746 "and time for me to look out for myself." 25 00:02:00,829 --> 00:02:03,290 I had a buddy in the paper biz so I just dove right in. 26 00:02:03,373 --> 00:02:04,958 How was your experience in the Navy? 27 00:02:05,042 --> 00:02:06,460 It was nuts. Yeah. 28 00:02:06,752 --> 00:02:08,378 I was in Hong Kong three times. 29 00:02:08,462 --> 00:02:10,464 Still have pretty crazy flashbacks from that. 30 00:02:10,547 --> 00:02:12,633 Really? What kind of thing did you do? 31 00:02:12,716 --> 00:02:13,925 Meteorologist. 32 00:02:14,009 --> 00:02:15,695 What do you mean, like weather surveillance, or... 33 00:02:15,719 --> 00:02:18,555 Predictor. Constantly had to predict the weather, 34 00:02:18,639 --> 00:02:21,391 which is... I'm not a god. I'm just a guy in a shack 35 00:02:21,475 --> 00:02:22,768 with a pair of binoculars. 36 00:02:22,851 --> 00:02:24,495 What do you think about this weather we're having now? 37 00:02:24,519 --> 00:02:26,247 Don't even talk to me about the weather, man. 38 00:02:26,271 --> 00:02:28,231 It just all comes back to me, you know? 39 00:02:28,315 --> 00:02:31,234 There was this one night I predicted it was gonna be warm. 40 00:02:32,277 --> 00:02:34,279 I sent 200 men out without their jackets. 41 00:02:36,031 --> 00:02:37,866 It was 60 degrees that night, 42 00:02:38,742 --> 00:02:40,243 52, with windchill. 43 00:02:42,037 --> 00:02:45,117 You can't imagine their faces shivering through that Carrie Underwood concert. 44 00:02:47,250 --> 00:02:49,419 Your paper experience is very interesting. 45 00:02:49,503 --> 00:02:51,380 And although it's mostly manufacturing, 46 00:02:51,463 --> 00:02:54,508 do you think you could use that experience to inform decisions here? 47 00:02:55,050 --> 00:02:56,510 Absolutely, yes. 48 00:02:56,885 --> 00:02:59,304 In fact, I actually have a three-step plan 49 00:02:59,388 --> 00:03:01,765 that I believe could effectively double your profits. 50 00:03:01,890 --> 00:03:03,183 Yeah. Really? 51 00:03:04,935 --> 00:03:05,936 What is it? 52 00:03:07,562 --> 00:03:09,648 Nice try. 53 00:03:12,025 --> 00:03:15,362 I'm sorry. What is your three-step plan? 54 00:03:15,570 --> 00:03:17,489 Well, I mean, I can't just hand you my plan. 55 00:03:18,281 --> 00:03:20,721 I mean, if you guys give me the job, then you'll get the plan. 56 00:03:21,493 --> 00:03:24,746 Well, it's an interview, and we don't know that you really have the plan. 57 00:03:24,830 --> 00:03:26,832 I'm not gonna just make up that I have a plan. 58 00:03:26,915 --> 00:03:29,960 I got a plan. Believe me, you guys want it. You're in paper, right? 59 00:03:30,043 --> 00:03:31,545 How do we know that if you don't... 60 00:03:31,628 --> 00:03:33,189 You could just be saying it to get the job. 61 00:03:33,213 --> 00:03:35,173 I guess I could be if I was... 62 00:03:35,757 --> 00:03:37,634 Who would do that? How about this, 63 00:03:37,718 --> 00:03:39,970 why don't you give us a part of the plan, 64 00:03:40,053 --> 00:03:41,513 and that way we know you have it. 65 00:03:41,596 --> 00:03:44,433 Tell you what? I'll give you part three of part two. 66 00:03:44,599 --> 00:03:46,351 Not gonna give you a whole part. 67 00:03:46,435 --> 00:03:47,436 Okay. 68 00:03:48,311 --> 00:03:51,273 Color-code said documents. T.M. 69 00:03:53,316 --> 00:03:55,152 Did you just trademark that? What? 70 00:03:55,277 --> 00:03:57,154 That's a verbal trademark. That's an agreement. 71 00:03:58,113 --> 00:04:01,575 Jim: We are the search committee, hand-picked by our ceo 72 00:04:01,658 --> 00:04:03,994 and tasked to find this branch's new manager. 73 00:04:04,119 --> 00:04:06,246 Not everyone we meet will be good, 74 00:04:06,621 --> 00:04:08,749 but someone's bound to be, right? 75 00:04:08,832 --> 00:04:10,000 And to be honest, 76 00:04:10,125 --> 00:04:12,919 I think a lot of the decent candidates are right here in house. 77 00:04:13,044 --> 00:04:14,504 So, I'm not too worried. 78 00:04:14,963 --> 00:04:17,841 But I'm really excited to spend a lot of time with Toby and Gabe. 79 00:04:18,467 --> 00:04:20,677 Did you know that Gabe's last name was Lewis? 80 00:04:21,386 --> 00:04:22,637 I had no idea. 81 00:04:23,305 --> 00:04:24,306 Good morning. 82 00:04:24,389 --> 00:04:25,766 Morning. Good morning. 83 00:04:26,183 --> 00:04:27,434 Good morning. 84 00:04:27,517 --> 00:04:29,102 Did you have a nice drive in? 85 00:04:30,228 --> 00:04:31,438 I did. 86 00:04:32,439 --> 00:04:35,609 I have a solid relationship with Jo, the company's owner. 87 00:04:35,817 --> 00:04:37,402 I have management experience. 88 00:04:37,486 --> 00:04:39,613 I have a good friendship with Jim, 89 00:04:39,696 --> 00:04:41,239 the head of the search committee. 90 00:04:41,364 --> 00:04:43,867 And it doesn't hurt that I'm 91 00:04:45,619 --> 00:04:48,246 black! 92 00:04:49,164 --> 00:04:51,875 We all know this is a popularity contest. 93 00:04:51,958 --> 00:04:54,211 And Darryl's the coolest kid in school. 94 00:04:54,294 --> 00:04:58,215 Used to be Jim. Hasn't been Jim in a long time. 95 00:05:01,593 --> 00:05:02,594 It's good. 96 00:05:03,053 --> 00:05:05,514 It's just words, which will surprise people. 97 00:05:05,597 --> 00:05:09,017 Yeah. It's based on a really successful cigarette ad campaign from a while back. 98 00:05:09,100 --> 00:05:10,268 Those were good ads. Yeah. 99 00:05:10,352 --> 00:05:11,812 They got me smoking when I was eight. 100 00:05:11,895 --> 00:05:15,398 I couldn't quit smoking until the government put out better ads about not smoking. 101 00:05:16,733 --> 00:05:18,068 I love smoking. 102 00:05:18,735 --> 00:05:19,945 I really hope you get it. 103 00:05:20,028 --> 00:05:22,322 The managerjob? No, I'm barely interested. 104 00:05:22,489 --> 00:05:25,158 I just can't not go for it, you know. It's not the Bernard way. 105 00:05:25,242 --> 00:05:26,952 We give it the old college try, 106 00:05:27,035 --> 00:05:28,703 and then in defeat, we show grace. 107 00:05:29,579 --> 00:05:33,333 Still, I'd really like to see this office with you in the boss's chair. 108 00:05:33,416 --> 00:05:35,502 Don't even... 109 00:05:35,627 --> 00:05:37,504 You in the boss's chair! No. 110 00:05:37,587 --> 00:05:39,907 Andy: In my family, you don't really go out and get things. 111 00:05:40,298 --> 00:05:42,342 If you want something, you write it on a list 112 00:05:42,425 --> 00:05:44,111 and then the housekeeper goes out and gets it 113 00:05:44,135 --> 00:05:46,054 on wednesdays and Fridays. 114 00:05:46,513 --> 00:05:50,559 So, I don't know. I guess you could say this job is on my list 115 00:05:51,142 --> 00:05:52,853 and we'll see what Rosa comes back with. 116 00:05:57,899 --> 00:05:59,317 Did you hear anything? 117 00:05:59,776 --> 00:06:02,779 Oh, I'm sure they'll let us know when they get the results. 118 00:06:04,364 --> 00:06:07,909 It turns out that Erin was born in the basic time and region 119 00:06:07,993 --> 00:06:09,744 that I gave away a child. 120 00:06:09,953 --> 00:06:12,122 So Phyllis might be my mom. 121 00:06:12,664 --> 00:06:15,500 I mean, the chances are tiny, but... 122 00:06:15,584 --> 00:06:17,961 Yeah, probably not. 123 00:06:18,044 --> 00:06:19,963 I mean, it was a big year for babies. 124 00:06:20,046 --> 00:06:21,756 Porky's had come out. Yeah. 125 00:06:21,965 --> 00:06:24,217 I'm sure I was just another porky's baby. 126 00:06:24,301 --> 00:06:26,136 But why not find out? Yeah. 127 00:06:32,392 --> 00:06:34,394 Should you really be so blatant about that? 128 00:06:34,477 --> 00:06:37,230 They won't make me manager, and I won't settle for anything less. 129 00:06:37,814 --> 00:06:40,859 I've gone about as far as I can here. That's obvious. 130 00:06:41,234 --> 00:06:42,944 I'm going to take my talents elsewhere. 131 00:06:43,403 --> 00:06:46,156 Are you really gonna apply for work at Scranton bread works? 132 00:06:46,656 --> 00:06:50,452 Bread is the paper of the food industry. You write your sandwich on it. 133 00:06:52,120 --> 00:06:53,872 Can you do any better on salary? 134 00:06:53,955 --> 00:06:55,755 Unfortunately, that range is set at corporate. 135 00:06:56,166 --> 00:06:57,626 What about mileage when I use my car? 136 00:06:57,751 --> 00:06:59,628 I mean, gas ain't cheap, you know. 137 00:06:59,836 --> 00:07:01,922 We think that 25 cents a mile is pretty generous. 138 00:07:02,005 --> 00:07:04,382 How about 27 and... 139 00:07:04,799 --> 00:07:06,092 When I make long-distance calls, 140 00:07:06,176 --> 00:07:08,428 will they be monitored, or is it on the honor system? 141 00:07:10,055 --> 00:07:11,097 Okay. 142 00:07:17,228 --> 00:07:18,480 How odd! 143 00:07:18,563 --> 00:07:21,524 A very unusual phone call from the senator's office. 144 00:07:22,025 --> 00:07:25,654 The senator wants me to have lunch with him at the botanical gardens. 145 00:07:25,737 --> 00:07:27,280 The botanical gardens, 146 00:07:27,364 --> 00:07:29,741 Scranton's hidden gem. 147 00:07:31,076 --> 00:07:33,620 Don't eat any berries you don't recognize. 148 00:07:33,912 --> 00:07:37,999 How will your experience selling refinery equipment 149 00:07:38,083 --> 00:07:40,168 translate to our smaller scale here? 150 00:07:40,251 --> 00:07:41,586 You don't work in sales, do you? 151 00:07:42,671 --> 00:07:43,797 Human resources. 152 00:07:44,214 --> 00:07:46,716 You see, I sit across from a man, 153 00:07:47,801 --> 00:07:50,679 I see his face, I see his eyes. 154 00:07:51,680 --> 00:07:55,892 Now, does it matter if he wants $100 of paper 155 00:07:56,059 --> 00:07:59,229 or $100 million of deep-sea drilling equipment? 156 00:07:59,312 --> 00:08:00,647 Don't be a fool. 157 00:08:00,730 --> 00:08:03,358 He wants respect. He wants love. 158 00:08:04,693 --> 00:08:07,529 He wants to be younger. He wants to be attractive. 159 00:08:07,988 --> 00:08:11,574 There is no such thing as a product. 160 00:08:12,367 --> 00:08:14,244 Don't ever think there is. 161 00:08:14,995 --> 00:08:17,414 There is only sex. 162 00:08:18,248 --> 00:08:19,958 Everything is sex. 163 00:08:21,126 --> 00:08:26,631 You understand that what I'm telling you is a universal truth, Toby? 164 00:08:26,840 --> 00:08:27,882 Yes. 165 00:08:29,050 --> 00:08:31,803 Okay, I am... I'm almost a little concerned that 166 00:08:31,928 --> 00:08:34,597 you might be overqualified for the position. 167 00:08:34,681 --> 00:08:37,100 Do you, um... do you think that you are? 168 00:08:37,308 --> 00:08:40,645 Do I look like someone who would waste my own time? 169 00:08:45,108 --> 00:08:47,193 Can you... 170 00:08:47,277 --> 00:08:50,613 You are a man of great confidence. 171 00:08:51,072 --> 00:08:53,033 Could you speak a little more to that 172 00:08:53,116 --> 00:08:55,952 and what the role ofconfidence 173 00:08:56,953 --> 00:09:00,206 would be in a dialog with a subordinate? 174 00:09:00,790 --> 00:09:02,000 Will you be heard? 175 00:09:02,667 --> 00:09:04,085 Will you have a voice? 176 00:09:04,753 --> 00:09:06,755 Will I steamroll over you? 177 00:09:07,380 --> 00:09:10,383 Do you feel heard right now, Jim? 178 00:09:12,010 --> 00:09:13,970 Do you have a voice right now? 179 00:09:15,638 --> 00:09:17,390 You can answer me. Yes. 180 00:09:17,682 --> 00:09:19,434 That was your choice, not mine. 181 00:09:20,477 --> 00:09:23,563 The fallacy is that it is up to the steamroller. 182 00:09:23,813 --> 00:09:25,648 It is up to the object 183 00:09:26,524 --> 00:09:28,359 whether it will be flattened or not. 184 00:09:28,693 --> 00:09:31,488 And I can tell just from the small interaction we've had already, 185 00:09:31,571 --> 00:09:33,281 you won't be flattened by anybody. 186 00:09:33,656 --> 00:09:35,909 Do you agree with me, Jim? Yes. 187 00:09:35,992 --> 00:09:37,702 Yes, you do. 188 00:09:58,098 --> 00:09:59,474 He creeps me out. 189 00:10:00,683 --> 00:10:02,602 But I think he might be a genius. 190 00:10:06,856 --> 00:10:08,525 Dwight, there's a call for you on line 2. 191 00:10:10,068 --> 00:10:11,319 No, thanks. 192 00:10:15,782 --> 00:10:17,659 He's in the shower. 193 00:10:31,589 --> 00:10:32,882 Good luck, Darryl. 194 00:10:33,133 --> 00:10:34,300 Thank you. 195 00:10:36,761 --> 00:10:38,471 Is that the kind of boss he would be? 196 00:10:38,555 --> 00:10:41,641 Completely insensitive to the insecurities of other people in this office 197 00:10:41,724 --> 00:10:43,869 who might also be interviewing for the manager position 198 00:10:43,893 --> 00:10:46,146 and might also want to be wished a little bit of luck 199 00:10:46,229 --> 00:10:48,606 'cause they're kind of spinning out a little bit? 200 00:10:49,440 --> 00:10:52,569 I don't want that kind of boss. No, thank you. Not good. 201 00:10:52,902 --> 00:10:55,446 Good man, though. Nice guy. My best friend. 202 00:10:56,406 --> 00:10:57,407 Think about it. 203 00:10:57,490 --> 00:11:01,661 What other mammal, besides humans, drinks the milk of another mammal? 204 00:11:01,828 --> 00:11:04,414 I mean, you don't see a bear drinking raccoon milk. 205 00:11:04,622 --> 00:11:06,082 How long have you been off dairy? 206 00:11:06,416 --> 00:11:09,002 As soon as I can say no to those two pushers, Ben & Jerry. 207 00:11:10,670 --> 00:11:13,756 So this is cool. I think we make a good fit. 208 00:11:14,215 --> 00:11:16,593 Oh, we haven't started the interview yet. 209 00:11:17,385 --> 00:11:18,761 Were you joking? 210 00:11:21,139 --> 00:11:24,142 Uh, yes. I was. 211 00:11:24,434 --> 00:11:25,935 A little joke. 212 00:11:26,769 --> 00:11:29,355 So how would you go about settling 213 00:11:29,439 --> 00:11:31,691 interpersonal conflicts within the office? 214 00:11:32,483 --> 00:11:33,902 I thought that was your job. 215 00:11:34,944 --> 00:11:38,114 Well, it's one of my strengths, but it's the manager's job. 216 00:11:39,616 --> 00:11:41,336 Well, for instance, how did you deal with it 217 00:11:41,367 --> 00:11:43,369 when two warehouse guys got into a fight? 218 00:11:43,453 --> 00:11:47,624 I'll answer that, Jim. I would use it as an opportunity to teach 219 00:11:48,249 --> 00:11:52,962 about actions and consequences of actions. 220 00:12:01,804 --> 00:12:02,889 Who's that? 221 00:12:03,681 --> 00:12:06,809 So I think all we need is a resume and we'll be good, right? 222 00:12:08,478 --> 00:12:10,897 I just thought you knew me. Yeah, it's no big deal. 223 00:12:10,980 --> 00:12:12,899 Just something that looks like that. 224 00:12:13,149 --> 00:12:14,359 Jim: Cool? 225 00:12:14,442 --> 00:12:15,485 Let me... 226 00:12:17,987 --> 00:12:19,322 Cool. 227 00:12:27,956 --> 00:12:29,374 Did you just interview? 228 00:12:29,457 --> 00:12:31,167 Oh, unfortunately, yes. 229 00:12:35,255 --> 00:12:36,256 What do you mean? 230 00:12:36,839 --> 00:12:38,466 That business can't attract anyone. 231 00:12:39,342 --> 00:12:40,677 It's awful up there. 232 00:12:41,344 --> 00:12:45,306 Those people seem like they're in prison waiting out life sentences 233 00:12:45,390 --> 00:12:47,850 in a dying industry. 234 00:12:48,268 --> 00:12:49,519 Place must be horrible. 235 00:12:54,190 --> 00:12:55,984 I don't know if I want this job. 236 00:12:56,150 --> 00:12:59,279 Well, if I get this job offer, then I know that I'm gonna take it. 237 00:12:59,362 --> 00:13:02,198 And if I take it, I know that I'm never gonna quit. 238 00:13:02,282 --> 00:13:05,493 And then 25 years are gonna go by, 239 00:13:07,954 --> 00:13:09,414 and I'm gonna die here. 240 00:13:09,831 --> 00:13:13,626 What makes you feel qualified to judge a place after a mere interview? 241 00:13:21,843 --> 00:13:23,219 What are you doing? 242 00:13:27,849 --> 00:13:29,309 Stop trying to figure me out. 243 00:13:29,392 --> 00:13:30,852 I just did. You can't. 244 00:13:31,060 --> 00:13:32,770 It's done. No, it's not. 245 00:13:32,854 --> 00:13:34,188 I know you now, your nature. 246 00:13:34,272 --> 00:13:35,708 You don't know me. You don't know anything about me. 247 00:13:35,732 --> 00:13:36,875 I'm done. Get out of my head. 248 00:13:36,899 --> 00:13:38,901 Not worth continuing. Stop trying to figure me out. 249 00:13:43,197 --> 00:13:45,950 Do you even know anything about paper? 250 00:13:46,034 --> 00:13:47,327 How it's made? 251 00:13:47,410 --> 00:13:50,955 I saw an episode on how they make paper on sesame street. 252 00:13:53,374 --> 00:13:54,374 Get out. 253 00:13:54,417 --> 00:13:57,337 I'm gonna prevent inferior men from sullying my place of work 254 00:13:57,420 --> 00:13:59,922 with their weak, passionless leadership. 255 00:14:00,423 --> 00:14:04,969 Do you see my hat? No? That's because I just threw it in the ring. 256 00:14:05,928 --> 00:14:08,264 You guys pay for relocation, though, right? 257 00:14:08,348 --> 00:14:11,434 Well, why would you need relocation if you already live in Scranton? 258 00:14:11,642 --> 00:14:14,187 Well, I'd wanna move further away, you know? 259 00:14:14,270 --> 00:14:16,022 Just don't want any chance of running 260 00:14:16,105 --> 00:14:17,774 into my coworkers outside the office. 261 00:14:20,026 --> 00:14:22,445 Can I ask why you're leaving your current job? 262 00:14:25,531 --> 00:14:29,577 I'm leaving my otherjob because they were all jerks. 263 00:14:29,660 --> 00:14:31,621 Really. You know, all of them. 264 00:14:31,704 --> 00:14:34,290 You had yourjerk-wads and yourjerk-offs, so... 265 00:14:34,999 --> 00:14:38,086 Just between the wads and the offs, I just thought, "I gotta get out of here." 266 00:14:38,211 --> 00:14:40,088 Is this a bad time to be doing this? 267 00:14:40,296 --> 00:14:43,174 I know I'm having a bad time. 268 00:14:43,841 --> 00:14:46,844 I'm sorry. If we did something to upset you, 269 00:14:46,928 --> 00:14:48,679 I'm sure it was inadvertent. 270 00:14:55,311 --> 00:14:56,312 Wait. 271 00:14:56,562 --> 00:14:59,357 Oh, why did I believe that weirdo in the lobby? 272 00:15:00,817 --> 00:15:02,902 These are the nicest people I ever met. 273 00:15:04,821 --> 00:15:06,447 Thank you. 274 00:15:09,117 --> 00:15:10,118 I'm engaged. 275 00:15:10,827 --> 00:15:12,161 Damn, girl. 276 00:15:15,498 --> 00:15:16,958 Pam: It's gorgeous, Angela. 277 00:15:17,166 --> 00:15:19,144 Yeah, I actually know about nice rings, and it is gorgeous. 278 00:15:19,168 --> 00:15:20,169 Wow. 279 00:15:20,253 --> 00:15:23,464 It's a little flashy. I mean, what am I, Naomi judd? 280 00:15:23,881 --> 00:15:25,341 Tell us the freaking story! 281 00:15:25,466 --> 00:15:26,926 Yeah, tell us a story. 282 00:15:27,009 --> 00:15:30,847 Okay. He took me to the replica of monet's Japanese bridge. 283 00:15:31,347 --> 00:15:34,225 And then he put this flower behind my ear, which normally I would hate, 284 00:15:34,308 --> 00:15:35,852 'cause it's so civil rights-y. 285 00:15:35,935 --> 00:15:38,229 Then he got down on one knee and he said, 286 00:15:38,521 --> 00:15:40,398 "will you be a senator's wife?" 287 00:15:42,525 --> 00:15:44,735 He talked about himself in the third person? 288 00:15:44,819 --> 00:15:48,573 Yes, Pam. Not everyone is as informal as you and Jim. 289 00:15:48,698 --> 00:15:51,617 "Hey, Pam, dude, whatever. Wanna marry me?" 290 00:15:53,161 --> 00:15:54,495 That's not accurate. 291 00:15:54,579 --> 00:15:57,331 Then I saw flashes. So, reporters were there. 292 00:15:57,415 --> 00:16:00,877 They always find us. And everyone was crying. 293 00:16:00,960 --> 00:16:02,253 Even his aide. 294 00:16:02,795 --> 00:16:04,380 Angela's engaged to a gay man. 295 00:16:06,090 --> 00:16:07,717 As a gay man, I'm horrified. 296 00:16:07,800 --> 00:16:10,386 As a friend of Angela's, horrified. 297 00:16:10,678 --> 00:16:14,348 As a lover of elegant weddings, I'm a little excited. 298 00:16:14,891 --> 00:16:17,310 But overall, horrified. 299 00:16:18,311 --> 00:16:20,229 Andy? You all set? 300 00:16:22,231 --> 00:16:23,774 Okay, guys. It's time. 301 00:16:24,400 --> 00:16:27,195 It's pep talk time. Tell me what I need to hear. 302 00:16:27,528 --> 00:16:29,989 Hmm, are you sure this is a good idea? I... 303 00:16:30,406 --> 00:16:32,074 I hate to see you disappointed. 304 00:16:32,575 --> 00:16:34,452 That's not what I was hoping for. 305 00:16:34,535 --> 00:16:36,975 Okay, I just want someone to tell me, "you're gonna do great." 306 00:16:39,165 --> 00:16:41,209 You'll do great. Come on. 307 00:16:42,251 --> 00:16:44,170 You guys are my best friends. 308 00:16:49,759 --> 00:16:53,346 I'd be happy if Andy were boss. He listens to my stories. 309 00:16:53,429 --> 00:16:55,932 And they're not all a-plus stories, let's be honest. 310 00:16:56,015 --> 00:16:58,893 But you know what? He always listens like they're a-plus. 311 00:17:01,437 --> 00:17:03,272 Well, some are a-plus. 312 00:17:04,857 --> 00:17:06,359 I think Andy should be the boss. 313 00:17:06,442 --> 00:17:08,194 He's just so great. 314 00:17:08,361 --> 00:17:11,447 If I'm being objective, then Darryl, of course. 315 00:17:11,781 --> 00:17:14,408 So, Andy, what improvements would you make as office manager? 316 00:17:14,492 --> 00:17:17,372 For starters, I really think we can streamline communication around here. 317 00:17:17,787 --> 00:17:20,748 Whoa. That's a very heavy accusation to level against Toby. 318 00:17:21,916 --> 00:17:23,042 I wasn't accusing... 319 00:17:23,125 --> 00:17:24,603 Well, Toby's in charge of human resources. 320 00:17:24,627 --> 00:17:26,170 That would include communication. 321 00:17:26,963 --> 00:17:28,798 I think that Toby's done a fine job. 322 00:17:29,131 --> 00:17:32,426 Right. I really wasn't trying to insult anyone. 323 00:17:33,052 --> 00:17:34,637 I didn't think you were. 324 00:17:34,762 --> 00:17:36,472 I have two relationships with Andy. 325 00:17:36,681 --> 00:17:38,266 I have a personal relationship, 326 00:17:38,349 --> 00:17:39,934 and I have a professional relationship. 327 00:17:40,142 --> 00:17:42,186 Personally, yeah, I think he's a rat 328 00:17:42,270 --> 00:17:43,950 and I think he's responsible for the demise 329 00:17:44,021 --> 00:17:45,481 of my relationship with Erin. 330 00:17:45,982 --> 00:17:47,608 Professionally... 331 00:17:48,484 --> 00:17:50,403 He broke up the happiest couple in this office. 332 00:17:50,486 --> 00:17:52,206 How many windows are there in New York City? 333 00:17:52,613 --> 00:17:54,323 What? Critical thinking. 334 00:17:54,407 --> 00:17:56,617 Common on-the-spot question asked in an interview. 335 00:17:57,159 --> 00:17:59,662 Okay. Uh, let me think. Are you counting car windows? 336 00:17:59,745 --> 00:18:01,706 No. How far away is the sun? 337 00:18:02,290 --> 00:18:03,958 Ninety-three million miles. 338 00:18:04,917 --> 00:18:06,544 Ism? Yeah. 339 00:18:07,044 --> 00:18:09,714 And the diameter of the sun is 870,000 miles, 340 00:18:09,797 --> 00:18:11,841 which makes it 109 times wider than the earth 341 00:18:12,008 --> 00:18:14,760 and 333,000 times heavier than the earth. 342 00:18:14,844 --> 00:18:16,220 Shut up about the sun. 343 00:18:16,304 --> 00:18:18,723 Shut up about the sun! 344 00:18:22,602 --> 00:18:23,811 Okay, I'm not a doctor, 345 00:18:23,894 --> 00:18:26,522 but I think the medical term for that was a spaz out. 346 00:18:27,607 --> 00:18:28,983 Gabe just lost it. 347 00:18:30,818 --> 00:18:32,862 That's the best part about convening a tribunal. 348 00:18:33,571 --> 00:18:37,074 One bunal can go down, and you still have two bunals left. 349 00:18:37,700 --> 00:18:38,743 Right? 350 00:18:40,328 --> 00:18:41,662 Andy, how'd it go? 351 00:18:41,829 --> 00:18:43,581 I don't want to brag, but... 352 00:18:45,166 --> 00:18:46,542 I did my best. 353 00:18:47,668 --> 00:18:48,878 Hello! 354 00:18:48,961 --> 00:18:50,421 I forgot something in my car. 355 00:18:53,382 --> 00:18:55,926 You guys are so cute. When are you gonna get back together? 356 00:18:56,552 --> 00:18:58,638 Never. We're just friends. 357 00:18:58,721 --> 00:18:59,722 Oh! 358 00:18:59,889 --> 00:19:02,058 Okay, my mistake. 359 00:19:02,141 --> 00:19:05,645 You know, you could have any man in this whole office with your legs. 360 00:19:06,395 --> 00:19:08,314 I say go for it, if you're interested. 361 00:19:09,065 --> 00:19:12,818 But you're not, so never mind. 362 00:19:21,952 --> 00:19:24,830 I am unhappy with the confusing 363 00:19:24,914 --> 00:19:28,209 and, at times, confrontational nature of that meeting. 364 00:19:28,292 --> 00:19:30,127 I wanted it to go better. 365 00:19:30,544 --> 00:19:32,880 I wanted it to go better! 366 00:19:34,423 --> 00:19:37,343 Yes, there used to be a paper clip that would pop up and say, 367 00:19:37,426 --> 00:19:40,513 "looks like you are writing a letter or resume. Would you like help?" 368 00:19:40,596 --> 00:19:43,683 I believe his name was clippy. 369 00:19:45,226 --> 00:19:47,269 Creed: First of all, iwanna thank you 370 00:19:47,353 --> 00:19:49,480 for your years of patronizing our company. 371 00:19:50,314 --> 00:19:53,651 I've got some bad news. We're going out of business. 372 00:19:54,151 --> 00:19:55,152 Saving face. 373 00:19:57,113 --> 00:19:58,739 Yep, yep. I understand that. 374 00:19:59,448 --> 00:20:01,367 Basically everything's falling apart here. 375 00:20:01,450 --> 00:20:03,202 How is this on me? 376 00:20:04,120 --> 00:20:05,121 Hang up. 377 00:20:06,580 --> 00:20:08,541 Corporate needs you to find the differences 378 00:20:08,624 --> 00:20:11,460 between this picture and this picture. 379 00:20:12,336 --> 00:20:14,380 Intel has told us there were at least seven. 380 00:20:14,964 --> 00:20:16,757 Okay. I already see one. Give me. 381 00:20:16,882 --> 00:20:17,967 Okay. 382 00:20:19,093 --> 00:20:20,511 They're the same picture. 383 00:20:21,887 --> 00:20:25,808 Well, I manage my department, and I've been doing that for several years now. 384 00:20:25,933 --> 00:20:29,145 And, god, I've learned a lot of life lessons along the way. 385 00:20:29,687 --> 00:20:31,397 Your department's just you, right? 386 00:20:31,480 --> 00:20:33,691 Yes, Jim, but I am not easy to manage. 387 00:20:33,941 --> 00:20:36,193 Great. Um, can we just... 388 00:20:37,069 --> 00:20:38,070 What was that? 389 00:20:38,612 --> 00:20:42,616 We just have a lot of serious candidates to get through today, so... 390 00:20:43,075 --> 00:20:44,869 Am I not a serious candidate? 391 00:20:46,579 --> 00:20:47,747 What do you want me to say? 392 00:20:47,830 --> 00:20:49,915 I mean, there's a line of qualified people out there. 393 00:20:49,999 --> 00:20:51,917 We have a video cv from england. 394 00:20:52,001 --> 00:20:53,753 Are we all just gonna pretend to... 395 00:20:54,462 --> 00:20:55,838 Okay. Um... 396 00:20:56,630 --> 00:20:58,048 What are your weaknesses? 397 00:20:58,132 --> 00:20:59,884 I don't have any, 398 00:21:05,681 --> 00:21:08,058 Erin, I believe you have my resume on file. 399 00:21:08,642 --> 00:21:12,396 Please print out four copies on 32-pound cotton stock, bright white. 400 00:21:14,190 --> 00:21:16,150 Ivory. Yes, sir. 401 00:21:16,233 --> 00:21:17,693 Who's in there now? Kelly. 402 00:21:18,235 --> 00:21:19,779 For god's sake. 403 00:21:19,862 --> 00:21:22,507 So, Kelly, what do you think the future holds for the paper business? 404 00:21:22,531 --> 00:21:24,033 Me peeing on Gabe's corpse. 405 00:21:28,037 --> 00:21:29,079 I want an interview. 406 00:21:30,664 --> 00:21:32,208 Good. How's the family? 407 00:21:32,291 --> 00:21:34,168 Good? Are they good? Yeah. 408 00:21:35,211 --> 00:21:37,463 What's your daughter's name again? Pee pee? 409 00:21:37,546 --> 00:21:38,589 Peepa. 410 00:21:38,672 --> 00:21:39,840 Peepa. How is she? 411 00:21:39,924 --> 00:21:41,091 Great. Great! 412 00:21:41,467 --> 00:21:42,968 Oh, that's great. 413 00:21:44,470 --> 00:21:46,490 We never were very good at small talk, were we, Jim? 414 00:21:46,514 --> 00:21:47,514 Now, listen... 415 00:21:47,556 --> 00:21:49,308 You're not getting an interview, Dwight. 416 00:21:49,391 --> 00:21:51,811 The whole point of this search committee process 417 00:21:51,894 --> 00:21:53,705 is to prevent hiring someone like you ever again. 418 00:21:53,729 --> 00:21:55,123 Okay. I know why you're saying that, Jim. 419 00:21:55,147 --> 00:21:56,732 I really do. But think of it this way. 420 00:21:57,942 --> 00:22:00,861 The hand that reaches from the grave to grip your throat 421 00:22:00,945 --> 00:22:03,113 is the strong hand you want on the wheel. 422 00:22:03,197 --> 00:22:04,573 Okay. That's vivid. 423 00:22:04,657 --> 00:22:06,450 Now, I'm gonna make you an offer, okay? 424 00:22:06,534 --> 00:22:09,578 You even do so little as Grant me an interview, 425 00:22:09,662 --> 00:22:12,998 I will guarantee you your dream work life, okay? 426 00:22:13,082 --> 00:22:15,042 You roll in at 10:00 am. 427 00:22:15,125 --> 00:22:17,211 To your own private reserved parking spot, 428 00:22:17,294 --> 00:22:20,589 pick up your daily free coffee from Dwight's caffeine corner, 429 00:22:20,673 --> 00:22:22,800 unlimited sex breaks for you and Pam. 430 00:22:22,925 --> 00:22:25,511 Yikes. Erin will eat garbage for your entertainment. 431 00:22:25,636 --> 00:22:28,973 Wow. You know how I like taking bribes. 432 00:22:29,056 --> 00:22:31,350 But unfortunately, Jo also took the job away from you 433 00:22:31,433 --> 00:22:33,018 because she doesn't trust your judgment. 434 00:22:33,185 --> 00:22:35,938 So how would that look for me if I recommended you? 435 00:22:37,022 --> 00:22:39,275 Fine, I'll do it without you. 436 00:22:39,733 --> 00:22:42,236 Okay. You'll regret this. 437 00:22:43,279 --> 00:22:44,822 Let me get that for you. 438 00:22:45,531 --> 00:22:46,699 Okay. Thank you. 439 00:22:49,451 --> 00:22:51,429 As long as you keep it moist, it's easier to work with. 440 00:22:51,453 --> 00:22:53,497 And I can't just use a tube of Crescent rolls? 441 00:22:54,498 --> 00:22:57,459 You know what, go to McDonald's for dinner. Why cook? 442 00:22:58,794 --> 00:22:59,837 Okay. 443 00:23:02,423 --> 00:23:03,883 Pam, 444 00:23:04,758 --> 00:23:06,135 I think Robert is gay. 445 00:23:06,468 --> 00:23:07,803 The senator? 446 00:23:08,846 --> 00:23:11,056 He was married before, and he has a kid. 447 00:23:11,140 --> 00:23:12,433 So... and don't say that thing 448 00:23:12,516 --> 00:23:14,602 about how lots of gay guys have kids. 449 00:23:15,936 --> 00:23:18,272 I have a very strong suspicion. 450 00:23:19,481 --> 00:23:20,482 Did you? 451 00:23:20,983 --> 00:23:23,444 Oh! No. 452 00:23:25,654 --> 00:23:26,989 Did you see him at a bathhouse? 453 00:23:27,489 --> 00:23:28,657 What bathhouse? 454 00:23:28,741 --> 00:23:30,826 The windowless building by the baskin Robbins. 455 00:23:31,785 --> 00:23:32,786 What? 456 00:23:32,912 --> 00:23:35,080 Forget it. I'm never gonna know what goes on there. 457 00:23:35,456 --> 00:23:38,250 Name: David Brent. Occupation: Inspirer. 458 00:23:38,375 --> 00:23:40,377 Status: None of your business. 459 00:23:40,669 --> 00:23:42,713 Young, free and single, though. Thanks for asking. 460 00:23:42,838 --> 00:23:45,049 Hear you're looking for a new boss, yeah? 461 00:23:45,799 --> 00:23:48,552 Someone to tell a bunch of discontented, under-encouraged drones 462 00:23:48,636 --> 00:23:49,720 what to do every day. 463 00:23:49,803 --> 00:23:52,556 Is that it? Our out-of-touch powers that be. 464 00:23:52,640 --> 00:23:55,100 Want me to fire them? They don't see things your way? 465 00:23:55,184 --> 00:23:57,770 Then I ain't that dude. Bye-bye, baby, bye-bye. 466 00:23:57,853 --> 00:23:59,581 Get some other corporate suit to lay down the law. 467 00:23:59,605 --> 00:24:01,190 What? You've changed your mind? 468 00:24:01,273 --> 00:24:03,108 You're now looking for a leader of men? 469 00:24:03,609 --> 00:24:05,736 Ipso facto. Women too. 470 00:24:06,028 --> 00:24:07,488 When do I start? 471 00:24:07,571 --> 00:24:08,572 Eh? 472 00:24:11,367 --> 00:24:13,327 Hi. Hey. Hey. 473 00:24:13,410 --> 00:24:16,914 I realized I never paid you back for that lunch you paid for, like, a month ago. 474 00:24:17,289 --> 00:24:18,415 Yeah, don't worry about it. 475 00:24:18,499 --> 00:24:20,292 Well, it's money. 476 00:24:20,376 --> 00:24:23,921 I was thinking I could make dinner for you tonight, like a middle eastern feast. 477 00:24:24,546 --> 00:24:27,174 Chicken shawarmas, shish kebabs, pita with hummus. 478 00:24:28,050 --> 00:24:31,553 Well, I think I only lent you like $3. That would be so much more trouble. 479 00:24:32,096 --> 00:24:34,056 Just bring the money tomorrow. No big deal. 480 00:24:35,057 --> 00:24:36,850 Or else I'll break your legs. 481 00:24:37,518 --> 00:24:39,603 Not if I can help it. 482 00:24:45,734 --> 00:24:47,319 My friend at the Scranton blade 483 00:24:47,403 --> 00:24:49,071 is totally plugged into these matters. 484 00:24:49,530 --> 00:24:50,990 You're in the gay mafia. 485 00:24:51,073 --> 00:24:53,659 You're thinking of another group, much wealthier, much older. 486 00:24:53,742 --> 00:24:54,952 You sound ignorant. 487 00:24:56,328 --> 00:24:58,497 You guys, um, talking senator? 488 00:24:59,581 --> 00:25:00,581 No. 489 00:25:00,624 --> 00:25:02,418 Why would we be talking about the senator? 490 00:25:02,835 --> 00:25:04,545 'Cause he's totally gay. 491 00:25:05,337 --> 00:25:07,089 How do I know that Robert is gay? 492 00:25:07,464 --> 00:25:11,510 He "liked" my Facebook photos at 3:00 in the morning. 493 00:25:14,054 --> 00:25:15,414 It was a really good photo, though. 494 00:25:15,973 --> 00:25:18,684 Do you know what it took to get Bob to notice me? 495 00:25:19,059 --> 00:25:21,228 Iwaited in his office every morning 496 00:25:21,311 --> 00:25:22,813 wearing nothing but kitty cat ears. 497 00:25:22,896 --> 00:25:24,857 I did that every day for two weeks. 498 00:25:24,940 --> 00:25:26,300 And on the tenth day, he walked in, 499 00:25:26,358 --> 00:25:28,485 he was naked too, except a dog nose. 500 00:25:29,278 --> 00:25:30,588 Guess what we did then? Bestiality. 501 00:25:30,612 --> 00:25:31,812 I don't think I can do that... 502 00:25:32,322 --> 00:25:33,323 Yeah. 503 00:25:33,407 --> 00:25:34,700 That's not my personality. 504 00:25:34,783 --> 00:25:36,952 If my daughter were asking me... 505 00:25:38,203 --> 00:25:40,247 Yes? 506 00:25:40,330 --> 00:25:44,960 I would say if you want someone, if you really want them, 507 00:25:45,461 --> 00:25:46,795 go get them. 508 00:25:48,464 --> 00:25:50,299 I do really want him. 509 00:25:51,759 --> 00:25:53,761 So, uh, here you go. 510 00:25:53,844 --> 00:25:56,055 Great. Hope it's all right. 511 00:25:56,138 --> 00:25:57,139 I'm sure it's fine. 512 00:25:58,098 --> 00:26:00,642 The guy who was in here earlier, interviewed after me, 513 00:26:00,726 --> 00:26:01,935 how'd he do? 514 00:26:02,019 --> 00:26:03,437 Howard klein? No, no, no, no. 515 00:26:03,520 --> 00:26:04,813 That's not who I'm talking about. 516 00:26:05,314 --> 00:26:07,316 Oh. Deshawn Williams. 517 00:26:07,399 --> 00:26:08,942 Yes. How did he do? 518 00:26:09,026 --> 00:26:11,487 He's an amazing man. He's a rhodes scholar. 519 00:26:11,570 --> 00:26:15,407 He invented an app that invents apps. Fantastic kisser. 520 00:26:15,491 --> 00:26:17,910 Come on, man. I'm being serious. Don'tjoke. 521 00:26:18,077 --> 00:26:19,244 Darryl, we all know you. 522 00:26:19,328 --> 00:26:21,789 Your interview is not nearly as important as the other guy's. 523 00:26:24,708 --> 00:26:27,419 First I'll take down the cubicle walls. 524 00:26:27,503 --> 00:26:29,797 But there aren't... Symbol of transparency. 525 00:26:29,922 --> 00:26:31,507 There'd be no titles. 526 00:26:32,424 --> 00:26:33,842 Everyone has the same job. 527 00:26:34,384 --> 00:26:35,761 Same goes for me. 528 00:26:36,178 --> 00:26:39,598 I'll take your job, but I'd reject the title. 529 00:26:39,681 --> 00:26:40,724 A little unspecific. 530 00:26:40,808 --> 00:26:44,186 Everyone would be known for their accomplishments. 531 00:26:44,812 --> 00:26:46,980 That's very interesting. Um... 532 00:26:47,064 --> 00:26:49,066 Ifeelhke there might be a conflict there, 533 00:26:49,191 --> 00:26:51,944 and if a conflict did arise, how would that be dealt with? 534 00:26:52,027 --> 00:26:53,862 Oh. Yeah. 535 00:26:55,030 --> 00:26:56,073 Hmm. 536 00:26:56,156 --> 00:26:58,437 Scratch everything from before. I'll tell you what I'd do. 537 00:26:58,534 --> 00:26:59,827 Go the other way. 538 00:27:00,369 --> 00:27:01,787 More cubicles. 539 00:27:02,204 --> 00:27:03,330 More division. 540 00:27:04,039 --> 00:27:07,209 Everyone is somebody's boss, 541 00:27:07,376 --> 00:27:10,796 and that person can fire the person below them. 542 00:27:10,879 --> 00:27:15,551 And once a month, the lowest-performing person... 543 00:27:17,302 --> 00:27:18,303 Bye-bye. 544 00:27:18,387 --> 00:27:21,682 How would you compare like an accountant and hr? 545 00:27:21,765 --> 00:27:23,725 Well, I'll tell you how, shall I? 546 00:27:23,851 --> 00:27:25,477 I'll tell you how. Okay. 547 00:27:25,644 --> 00:27:27,771 By splitting the difference. 548 00:27:28,147 --> 00:27:30,691 Just somewhere in the middle. 549 00:27:30,816 --> 00:27:32,943 I think that's probably all we need to hear from... 550 00:27:33,026 --> 00:27:34,069 Zen office. 551 00:27:35,988 --> 00:27:38,115 Thought of that? That's what I'd do. 552 00:27:38,615 --> 00:27:41,577 Everyone takes their shoes off before they come in. 553 00:27:41,994 --> 00:27:45,080 Okay? There'd be no desks. You just sit on the floor. 554 00:27:45,789 --> 00:27:47,082 That's very... 555 00:27:47,166 --> 00:27:49,168 You've got a Thai woman out in the back... 556 00:27:49,418 --> 00:27:50,586 Saki. 557 00:27:50,919 --> 00:27:52,421 Okay. Saki. 558 00:27:52,504 --> 00:27:53,714 That's not... 559 00:27:53,797 --> 00:27:55,507 Saki is her name, okay? 560 00:27:55,591 --> 00:27:58,677 She's administering massage, all right, if you need it. 561 00:27:58,760 --> 00:28:01,555 If you don't, whatever. Just talk to her. She's a person. 562 00:28:02,222 --> 00:28:04,766 Either way, 15 minutes of that, and you... 563 00:28:05,767 --> 00:28:07,936 You are cracking to go. 564 00:28:09,855 --> 00:28:11,523 Office of the future. 565 00:28:12,900 --> 00:28:14,985 Like the inside of a virgin airplane. 566 00:28:15,319 --> 00:28:17,988 Telecommuting, all right? Everyone's at home. 567 00:28:18,071 --> 00:28:21,575 The office is just a big empty space. It's just full of screens. 568 00:28:22,576 --> 00:28:26,371 Sony. Sony. Everything's just Sony, made of Sony. 569 00:28:26,455 --> 00:28:27,456 From Sony. 570 00:28:27,539 --> 00:28:29,100 I don't think that's how telecommuting works. 571 00:28:29,124 --> 00:28:35,422 And then we sell tickets to tourists for them to see the office of the future. 572 00:28:35,839 --> 00:28:37,591 Okay. Wow. Cutting edge. 573 00:28:37,674 --> 00:28:40,928 You have to hire me. 574 00:28:41,011 --> 00:28:42,679 There's no ideas left. 575 00:28:43,430 --> 00:28:45,974 That's all the ideas there is. 576 00:28:46,266 --> 00:28:49,519 There's a lot more where they came from. 577 00:28:56,235 --> 00:28:58,862 Jim, what can you tell us? Is there a frontrunner? 578 00:28:58,946 --> 00:29:01,546 You know what? They all just sort of blend together after a while. 579 00:29:02,324 --> 00:29:03,968 Well, there must be someone who stands out. 580 00:29:03,992 --> 00:29:06,912 No, not at all. In fact, I'm not even taking it seriously. 581 00:29:06,995 --> 00:29:09,474 I think at the end of the day, I'm just gonna pick a name out of the hat. 582 00:29:09,498 --> 00:29:10,499 Oscar: Well... 583 00:29:10,582 --> 00:29:12,251 The hell you will! 584 00:29:12,334 --> 00:29:14,753 I worked for the last boss for 15 years. 585 00:29:14,836 --> 00:29:17,547 According to my doctor, I don't have another 15 years 586 00:29:17,631 --> 00:29:20,801 if I wanna keep up the same dietary and sexual lifestyle, 587 00:29:20,884 --> 00:29:21,969 which I intend to. 588 00:29:22,052 --> 00:29:24,429 Oh, no, Stanley. You'll live forever. 589 00:29:24,513 --> 00:29:28,100 My next boss will be my last boss. He'll be at my funeral. 590 00:29:28,183 --> 00:29:31,603 So I would appreciate it if you would take this seriously. 591 00:29:33,814 --> 00:29:36,817 You pick a crappy boss, you're responsible for my crappy life. 592 00:29:36,900 --> 00:29:38,777 Okay, everybody. I was just making a joke. 593 00:29:38,860 --> 00:29:40,570 I am taking it seriously. I promise. 594 00:29:40,654 --> 00:29:42,155 Are you? 595 00:29:43,657 --> 00:29:47,369 Little advice? Take a day off from the whole Jim shtick. 596 00:29:47,619 --> 00:29:49,329 Try caring about something. 597 00:29:49,621 --> 00:29:52,666 You might like how it feels, James. 598 00:29:58,630 --> 00:30:00,632 Gabe, honey! 599 00:30:02,050 --> 00:30:04,177 Oh, lord. Take all this. 600 00:30:04,261 --> 00:30:05,304 All right. 601 00:30:05,387 --> 00:30:06,388 Here. 602 00:30:16,898 --> 00:30:17,899 Jim. 603 00:30:18,066 --> 00:30:19,346 Did you hear stern this morning? 604 00:30:19,401 --> 00:30:21,486 No. Was he good? Uh, Robin was good. 605 00:30:21,570 --> 00:30:23,613 She's always good. Keeps him on his toes. 606 00:30:23,697 --> 00:30:25,032 It's Howard's show, though. 607 00:30:25,407 --> 00:30:26,575 Whose is this? 608 00:30:27,117 --> 00:30:28,243 Darryl philbin. 609 00:30:28,452 --> 00:30:31,580 Oh. Very nice to see a familiar face on top. 610 00:30:32,039 --> 00:30:35,667 My, a little long, aren't we? Four pages? 611 00:30:35,751 --> 00:30:37,002 Is this the same Darryl philbin 612 00:30:37,085 --> 00:30:39,921 who's had two jobs in 10 years at one company? 613 00:30:40,005 --> 00:30:45,719 Yes, thanks to you who promoted me after we, uh, interfaced. 614 00:30:46,094 --> 00:30:48,722 "Coordinated and implemented receipt, storage, 615 00:30:48,805 --> 00:30:52,934 "and delivery of over 2.5 billion units of inventory." 616 00:30:53,018 --> 00:30:56,897 2.5 billion, Darryl? 2.5 billion units of what? 617 00:30:57,647 --> 00:30:59,608 Paper material, ma'am. 618 00:31:00,150 --> 00:31:01,318 Paper material? 619 00:31:01,443 --> 00:31:02,444 Pieces of paper. 620 00:31:03,278 --> 00:31:05,030 Anybody have a calculator? 621 00:31:08,617 --> 00:31:09,743 You figure what? 622 00:31:10,452 --> 00:31:13,622 Five hundred sheets a ream, 24 reams a case, 623 00:31:14,164 --> 00:31:15,624 how long you worked here... 624 00:31:19,044 --> 00:31:22,047 I can see how you landed in that ballpark. 625 00:31:22,255 --> 00:31:26,968 Laid end to end, it's enough to almost stretch 60% of the way to the moon. 626 00:31:27,344 --> 00:31:30,597 I think this resume almost stretches halfway to the moon. 627 00:31:31,473 --> 00:31:33,975 Jo, may I speak to you for a second? 628 00:31:34,059 --> 00:31:35,685 Or what? You gonna shoot me? 629 00:31:38,188 --> 00:31:40,565 Oh, I enjoy laughing at my mistakes 630 00:31:40,649 --> 00:31:42,984 because I've learned so much from them. 631 00:31:43,652 --> 00:31:45,338 I'd like to be interviewed for the position. 632 00:31:45,362 --> 00:31:46,613 I'll interview you right now. 633 00:31:46,696 --> 00:31:48,240 Okay. Question one. 634 00:31:48,323 --> 00:31:49,825 Ever shot a gun in the office? 635 00:31:51,827 --> 00:31:53,036 It's complicated. 636 00:31:53,120 --> 00:31:55,163 Yeah, but see, it's not. 637 00:31:57,165 --> 00:31:59,960 I will not give up. I won't even be discouraged. 638 00:32:00,043 --> 00:32:03,755 Why? Because managing this office is my destiny. 639 00:32:05,215 --> 00:32:07,426 My only potential obstacle is 640 00:32:07,509 --> 00:32:11,096 if becoming manager is someone else's destiny as well. 641 00:32:12,389 --> 00:32:15,016 But, hey, if this is a case of clashing destinies, 642 00:32:15,684 --> 00:32:16,852 enjoy the show. 643 00:32:17,519 --> 00:32:18,746 I don't think we should tell her. 644 00:32:18,770 --> 00:32:21,490 Angela went a whole day without telling me I had lettuce in my teeth. 645 00:32:21,523 --> 00:32:22,607 Screw her. 646 00:32:22,691 --> 00:32:24,276 I'm a woman. I would want to know. 647 00:32:24,359 --> 00:32:25,378 Meredith: Yeah. You gotta know. 648 00:32:25,402 --> 00:32:29,281 Okay. But if Angela can get a gay man to marry her, 649 00:32:29,698 --> 00:32:32,826 maybe I could get a lesbian to marry me. Huh? 650 00:32:33,702 --> 00:32:34,744 Huh? That's hot. 651 00:32:34,828 --> 00:32:36,621 You have met a lesbian in real life, right? 652 00:32:37,747 --> 00:32:41,543 What we should warn her about is that the whole institution of marriage 653 00:32:41,960 --> 00:32:43,128 is corrupt. That's the lie. 654 00:32:43,211 --> 00:32:44,355 Okay, we're not talking about that. 655 00:32:44,379 --> 00:32:45,659 We're not talking about marriage. 656 00:32:45,714 --> 00:32:49,134 You know, this probably is her last chance at a family. 657 00:32:50,177 --> 00:32:52,095 She does seem happy. 658 00:32:52,888 --> 00:32:54,556 You're right. You're right. 659 00:32:54,639 --> 00:32:56,850 She seems happy. We don't tell her. 660 00:32:57,392 --> 00:32:58,643 We don't tell her. Pam: Okay. 661 00:32:59,936 --> 00:33:02,189 So what else should we gossip about? 662 00:33:02,272 --> 00:33:06,234 I know, like who's gonna be the new manager, right? 663 00:33:06,318 --> 00:33:07,611 Will it be... 664 00:33:10,071 --> 00:33:12,908 Me? Yes. Yes, it will. 665 00:33:13,325 --> 00:33:14,326 Yeah, right. 666 00:33:14,659 --> 00:33:16,328 Excuse me, Ms. Bennett, may I have a word? 667 00:33:16,411 --> 00:33:17,496 Okay. 668 00:33:17,579 --> 00:33:18,872 Uh, can it be in private? 669 00:33:18,955 --> 00:33:20,749 Don't worry. It's not about you. 670 00:33:24,503 --> 00:33:26,671 As minority executive, I think it's my responsibility 671 00:33:26,755 --> 00:33:28,715 to let you know that Gabe is gross. 672 00:33:28,798 --> 00:33:30,091 I don't think it's professional 673 00:33:30,175 --> 00:33:31,444 that he was sleeping with the receptionist, 674 00:33:31,468 --> 00:33:33,821 and then when Erin dumped him so that she could be with Andy, 675 00:33:33,845 --> 00:33:36,681 he became a total crazy stalker psycho. 676 00:33:36,765 --> 00:33:40,227 Welcome to Scranton, Jo, land of 1,000 problems only you can fix. 677 00:33:43,605 --> 00:33:45,440 Oh, for god's sake. 678 00:33:48,360 --> 00:33:51,404 He's texting me his resume one line at a time. 679 00:33:53,073 --> 00:33:56,451 These are costing me 10 cents apiece, you jackass. 680 00:33:56,535 --> 00:33:57,536 I'm roaming! 681 00:34:00,080 --> 00:34:02,832 Get me our biggest client on the phone, right this instant. 682 00:34:08,463 --> 00:34:10,006 Who is our biggest client? 683 00:34:10,090 --> 00:34:11,466 Uh, just put him through to me. 684 00:34:13,009 --> 00:34:14,010 Okay. 685 00:34:15,971 --> 00:34:17,722 Hello, this is the client. 686 00:34:17,806 --> 00:34:18,974 It's creed. 687 00:34:19,182 --> 00:34:22,644 Fyi. I'm starting my own paper company. 688 00:34:22,894 --> 00:34:25,188 Looking to poach some chumps. You in? 689 00:34:25,272 --> 00:34:26,815 Yes. 690 00:34:26,898 --> 00:34:29,985 Cool! Let's keep this on the q.T., okay? 691 00:34:30,068 --> 00:34:32,571 I don't want you to be a dead mamma jamma. 692 00:34:32,654 --> 00:34:34,197 Great. Bye-bye. 693 00:34:39,744 --> 00:34:42,122 Get me our second biggest client. 694 00:34:42,205 --> 00:34:43,790 This is great. I love work. 695 00:34:46,293 --> 00:34:47,377 Again? 696 00:34:50,505 --> 00:34:51,548 Hold, please. 697 00:34:54,509 --> 00:34:55,594 Hello? 698 00:34:56,261 --> 00:34:57,262 Who is this? 699 00:34:57,345 --> 00:34:59,431 This is your second biggest client. 700 00:35:00,849 --> 00:35:05,353 I want you to listen very carefully. I'm gonna sing you a song. 701 00:35:18,199 --> 00:35:19,659 Jo, you have one more candidate. 702 00:35:19,826 --> 00:35:21,953 Huh? He's a burn victim. 703 00:35:22,871 --> 00:35:24,039 He's all messed up. 704 00:35:24,623 --> 00:35:26,249 I can tell him to get lost if you want. 705 00:35:26,333 --> 00:35:27,667 No. Send him in. 706 00:35:28,918 --> 00:35:30,170 Who is this? 707 00:35:31,463 --> 00:35:33,798 I have no idea. I know this guy. 708 00:35:42,641 --> 00:35:46,394 Hello, Mr. Souvenier. Mr. Jacques souvenier? 709 00:35:46,936 --> 00:35:48,772 Nice to meet you. It says here you're French? 710 00:35:49,189 --> 00:35:51,566 So you worked at your last job for 15 years 711 00:35:51,650 --> 00:35:53,568 as assistant to the regional manager. 712 00:35:53,652 --> 00:35:54,819 Assistant regional manager. 713 00:35:54,903 --> 00:35:56,047 Assistant to the regional manager. 714 00:35:56,071 --> 00:35:58,073 Assistant regional manager. What is it? 715 00:35:58,156 --> 00:35:59,908 Assistant regional manager. 716 00:35:59,991 --> 00:36:01,576 That's my mistake. Sorry about that. 717 00:36:01,660 --> 00:36:03,980 The last paper company you worked for burned to the ground? 718 00:36:04,037 --> 00:36:07,248 And all because they wouldn't hire a manager who lived and breathed paper. 719 00:36:07,540 --> 00:36:08,541 Jim: That's a travesty. 720 00:36:09,000 --> 00:36:11,044 I wanna talk to Dwight schrute for a second. 721 00:36:11,419 --> 00:36:12,671 I wanna ask him a question. 722 00:36:12,754 --> 00:36:13,838 Get Dwight. 723 00:36:13,922 --> 00:36:15,840 If he isn't here in 60 seconds... 724 00:36:17,884 --> 00:36:20,762 Wait, wait! No. Stop, stop. Jo... 725 00:36:22,889 --> 00:36:24,265 It's me. I'm Dwight. 726 00:36:27,227 --> 00:36:28,687 No. Wait. But... 727 00:36:28,770 --> 00:36:30,605 I mean, you're Dwight and then... 728 00:36:31,064 --> 00:36:32,273 He's the... 729 00:36:32,607 --> 00:36:33,608 Yeah. 730 00:36:36,695 --> 00:36:39,948 Very unprofessional, Jacques. Or should I say Dwight? 731 00:36:40,740 --> 00:36:44,786 Let's just say I had hired this Jacques souvenier. Then what? 732 00:36:44,869 --> 00:36:46,305 I would have dressed this way every day, 733 00:36:46,329 --> 00:36:47,622 legally changed my name, 734 00:36:47,706 --> 00:36:49,749 learned French sign language, shown up, 735 00:36:49,833 --> 00:36:53,461 and been the best damn branch manager you'd ever seen. 736 00:36:53,545 --> 00:36:55,463 All that for this job. Yes. 737 00:36:57,632 --> 00:36:58,967 That's Crazy. 738 00:37:00,719 --> 00:37:02,053 Get out of here. 739 00:37:05,348 --> 00:37:07,475 What a nut job. 740 00:37:10,395 --> 00:37:13,231 This guy was good. Although he did keep saying 741 00:37:13,314 --> 00:37:15,126 that he needed two weeks off right at the beginning 742 00:37:15,150 --> 00:37:16,860 for a trip to the finger lakes. 743 00:37:16,943 --> 00:37:18,695 Seriously, every five minutes he was like, 744 00:37:18,778 --> 00:37:20,506 "hey, just making sure the finger lakes thing is clear." 745 00:37:20,530 --> 00:37:24,576 Okay. It's fun to talk about the rejects, but who's got you excited? 746 00:37:24,659 --> 00:37:25,994 Finger lakes guy is good. 747 00:37:26,453 --> 00:37:28,246 Darryl is also very good. 748 00:37:28,788 --> 00:37:31,750 You know, I just wish we'd find a candidate that knows the company 749 00:37:31,833 --> 00:37:34,627 as well as, say, some of the people on this committee, 750 00:37:34,711 --> 00:37:36,588 you know, who've been here for a long time. 751 00:37:36,963 --> 00:37:37,964 Interesting. 752 00:37:38,339 --> 00:37:41,593 It'd be a demotion for Gabe and Jim's not interested, so... 753 00:37:42,761 --> 00:37:44,929 Are you trying to tell me you should be manager? 754 00:37:45,013 --> 00:37:46,347 You pulling a dick Cheney? 755 00:37:46,890 --> 00:37:50,852 No, I'm just saying if we can't find someone... 756 00:37:51,728 --> 00:37:53,188 Yeah, sure, I could do it. 757 00:37:54,731 --> 00:37:57,233 You're funny. Little dick Cheney. 758 00:37:58,193 --> 00:38:00,361 You want it? Ask for it. 759 00:38:01,154 --> 00:38:02,864 Say you're the best man for the job. 760 00:38:07,035 --> 00:38:11,039 I would work really hard, and, I mean, you could do worse. 761 00:38:11,956 --> 00:38:14,459 'Cause... for god's sake. 762 00:38:14,709 --> 00:38:16,878 Who's this fellow? Went to Cornell. 763 00:38:17,545 --> 00:38:18,588 What's wrong with him? 764 00:38:18,671 --> 00:38:19,798 How much time do you have? 765 00:38:20,298 --> 00:38:21,883 Sales ability, none. 766 00:38:22,217 --> 00:38:24,135 Integrity? See sales ability. 767 00:38:24,803 --> 00:38:27,096 And that's your unbiased opinion. Yes, it is. 768 00:38:27,180 --> 00:38:30,058 So it's not relevant that he took the receptionist away from you. 769 00:38:30,683 --> 00:38:33,603 Oh, Jo. Jo, I'm disappointed in you. 770 00:38:33,686 --> 00:38:36,314 Some people let personal things into the work... 771 00:38:36,397 --> 00:38:38,292 Is she with him? Because I thought that she's just... 772 00:38:38,316 --> 00:38:40,068 Gabe! 773 00:38:40,944 --> 00:38:44,030 Back when I bought this place, I was looking for a ghost. 774 00:38:44,572 --> 00:38:47,158 Somebody to flitter around, spooking people, 775 00:38:47,242 --> 00:38:49,869 keeping them on their toes, and then disappear. 776 00:38:50,161 --> 00:38:52,872 My girlfriend said she knew a man who looked like a ghost, 777 00:38:53,122 --> 00:38:54,624 and he went to business school. 778 00:38:55,166 --> 00:38:57,168 But a ghost ain't supposed to date people. 779 00:38:57,252 --> 00:38:59,003 You think you're beetlejuice? No. 780 00:38:59,087 --> 00:39:01,714 I'm no beetlejuice. You're no good to me up here. 781 00:39:02,298 --> 00:39:05,593 You got all close to these people, got involved in their lives. 782 00:39:06,302 --> 00:39:07,637 Let's get you back to Florida. 783 00:39:08,096 --> 00:39:09,456 We'll figure out something for you. 784 00:39:09,889 --> 00:39:11,015 Thatsounds like a promotion. 785 00:39:11,099 --> 00:39:12,141 It's not. 786 00:39:12,475 --> 00:39:14,519 Let's get Kelly in here to take his place. 787 00:39:14,602 --> 00:39:15,854 Uh, why Kelly? 788 00:39:16,062 --> 00:39:18,147 'Cause Gabe's tall and weak. She's short and strong. 789 00:39:18,231 --> 00:39:19,440 I'm doing an opposites thing. 790 00:39:20,650 --> 00:39:21,651 Okay. 791 00:39:21,901 --> 00:39:23,361 How'd my girl Nelly do? 792 00:39:23,444 --> 00:39:24,863 Oh, I didn't know you knew her. 793 00:39:24,946 --> 00:39:26,573 She didn't mention it? 794 00:39:26,698 --> 00:39:28,908 The integrity move. I like it. 795 00:39:29,284 --> 00:39:32,161 Yeah, we met at some dumb women in business seminar. 796 00:39:32,704 --> 00:39:35,039 I was the speaker, and she was the only person there 797 00:39:35,123 --> 00:39:37,750 who wasn't trying to sell some curves ripoff. 798 00:39:38,626 --> 00:39:40,503 You know, she also gave me reason to think 799 00:39:40,587 --> 00:39:42,380 that maybe she wasn't a good fit. 800 00:39:42,463 --> 00:39:44,299 Well, I'm not saying you must hire her. 801 00:39:44,465 --> 00:39:47,552 If you find someone who's clearly a fit, then fine. 802 00:39:47,635 --> 00:39:49,470 Just make sure they fit real good. 803 00:39:49,637 --> 00:39:52,432 No more manager turnover. Don't mess this up, Jim. 804 00:39:54,142 --> 00:39:55,727 And give Dwight an interview. 805 00:39:56,227 --> 00:39:58,187 I like a little bit of crazy. 806 00:40:02,442 --> 00:40:03,860 Erin, what are you doing? 807 00:40:03,943 --> 00:40:05,695 I've been turned into a puppet. 808 00:40:05,778 --> 00:40:07,447 Okay. 809 00:40:07,530 --> 00:40:09,991 Look at the puppet. Hi, puppet. 810 00:40:10,158 --> 00:40:11,159 Who are you? 811 00:40:11,451 --> 00:40:13,578 I was going to put on a puppet show today 812 00:40:13,661 --> 00:40:17,165 to warn people about the faulty outlet behind the fax machine. 813 00:40:18,583 --> 00:40:19,918 But change of plan. 814 00:40:20,585 --> 00:40:22,670 I went to drop off the fedex forms, 815 00:40:22,962 --> 00:40:26,841 and an evil witch named Angela turned me into a puppet! 816 00:40:26,925 --> 00:40:30,428 Yeah. Low blow, puppet. 817 00:40:30,929 --> 00:40:35,266 And there's only one thing that can change me back into a real girl. 818 00:40:36,225 --> 00:40:37,310 It's good. 819 00:40:37,852 --> 00:40:41,522 It's just that I wish the puppets would talk more about the alphabet. 820 00:40:42,023 --> 00:40:45,902 Not for me, but if any kids are watching. 821 00:40:46,486 --> 00:40:49,280 A, b... and so forth. 822 00:40:49,781 --> 00:40:50,949 You know. 823 00:40:51,532 --> 00:40:54,118 M, n, I, o, p. 824 00:40:59,290 --> 00:41:02,251 Ineed the most special thing in the office. 825 00:41:02,335 --> 00:41:03,335 Shence? 826 00:41:03,378 --> 00:41:05,672 A date with the best salesman, 827 00:41:06,589 --> 00:41:08,841 Andy Bernard! 828 00:41:18,101 --> 00:41:19,602 Hey, enn. 829 00:41:21,020 --> 00:41:23,106 Where'd you learn how to puppet like that? 830 00:41:23,314 --> 00:41:25,209 I've done it all my life. Listen, I'm really flattered, 831 00:41:25,233 --> 00:41:26,401 but I don't think we should. 832 00:41:33,032 --> 00:41:35,952 Erin's my best friend in this office, hands down. 833 00:41:36,911 --> 00:41:38,037 But 834 00:41:38,579 --> 00:41:41,666 when she asked me out, I just didn't have that feeling, you know? 835 00:41:41,749 --> 00:41:44,002 Aren't there some things that you really want to like 836 00:41:44,085 --> 00:41:46,963 but you just can't seem to like it? 837 00:41:47,046 --> 00:41:50,091 Like mad men or football. 838 00:41:51,050 --> 00:41:53,344 Let's not forget. Erin chose Gabe over me. 839 00:41:53,428 --> 00:41:54,679 Thathappened. 840 00:41:55,930 --> 00:41:59,559 I'm not gonna apologize for getting over her, okay? 841 00:42:00,768 --> 00:42:04,397 I'm sorry. I would go for someone who's more... 842 00:42:06,607 --> 00:42:07,984 She's great, though. 843 00:42:14,615 --> 00:42:17,910 Hey, Jim. Elevator man. Hey. Yup. All right. 844 00:42:17,994 --> 00:42:19,787 So, listen. 845 00:42:20,413 --> 00:42:24,417 Ifeelhke I came off terribly today, and I want to just start over. 846 00:42:24,500 --> 00:42:26,544 What can I do? Should I call Jo or... 847 00:42:26,669 --> 00:42:28,605 Maybe have my old boss call her. Listen, listen, listen. 848 00:42:28,629 --> 00:42:30,548 This isn't you, okay? 849 00:42:30,631 --> 00:42:34,218 The Darryl we all love, he's calm, he's confident. 850 00:42:34,302 --> 00:42:36,262 So, just be that guy. Okay. 851 00:42:36,345 --> 00:42:38,014 All right? Okay, yeah. 852 00:42:38,097 --> 00:42:39,474 I was thinking that. All right. 853 00:42:40,058 --> 00:42:41,851 Yup. Thanks. Means a lot. 854 00:42:41,934 --> 00:42:42,935 Of course. 855 00:42:43,186 --> 00:42:46,731 Stanley, I won't be able to invite everyone to the wedding, 856 00:42:46,814 --> 00:42:48,900 because we wanna keep it to 350. 857 00:42:48,983 --> 00:42:50,234 I'll get over it. 858 00:42:50,318 --> 00:42:52,361 I mean, we just have to see how many senators 859 00:42:52,445 --> 00:42:54,697 and members of congress want to attend 860 00:42:54,781 --> 00:42:57,200 before we can open it up to regular people. 861 00:42:57,992 --> 00:43:00,912 Pam, you know how you and Jim did your ironic wedding? 862 00:43:00,995 --> 00:43:03,955 Do you still have the plans for the dream wedding that you couldn't afford? 863 00:43:04,457 --> 00:43:05,792 That was our dream wedding. 864 00:43:06,834 --> 00:43:08,169 Niagara Falls? 865 00:43:08,836 --> 00:43:11,130 Pregnant? That was your dream? 866 00:43:12,006 --> 00:43:13,382 Pork medallions? 867 00:43:15,927 --> 00:43:20,014 I hope you have a very beautiful wedding, Angela. 868 00:43:22,517 --> 00:43:25,561 So, Angela, are you looking forward to your wedding night? 869 00:43:26,270 --> 00:43:29,190 What goes on in our bedroom is none of your business, Phyllis. 870 00:43:29,524 --> 00:43:30,858 Or yours. 871 00:43:34,737 --> 00:43:38,533 Oscar, you build up these enemies in your head 872 00:43:38,699 --> 00:43:40,576 and you want to see them suffer. 873 00:43:41,119 --> 00:43:44,080 But the thing is, you don't. 874 00:43:45,832 --> 00:43:47,375 You don't. 875 00:43:51,587 --> 00:43:53,381 Oh, Oscar. 876 00:43:54,715 --> 00:43:56,259 All right. 877 00:43:56,342 --> 00:43:57,969 Name. Dwight schrute. 878 00:43:58,052 --> 00:44:00,263 Thank you, Mr. Schnoot. We will let you know. 879 00:44:00,638 --> 00:44:02,348 You have to interview me. I just did. 880 00:44:02,431 --> 00:44:05,059 The answer to that one question told me everything I need to know. 881 00:44:05,393 --> 00:44:06,519 How did I do? To be honest, 882 00:44:06,602 --> 00:44:09,564 I'm leaning towards another man. His name is Jacques souvenier. 883 00:44:09,647 --> 00:44:12,316 But would you like to be his number two? 884 00:44:12,400 --> 00:44:16,320 God, it's gonna be hard, but, yeah, I would do it. 885 00:44:16,487 --> 00:44:17,840 Okay, well, there's a lot to think about, 886 00:44:17,864 --> 00:44:19,949 so we will get back to you. 887 00:44:20,032 --> 00:44:21,242 I demand more questions. 888 00:44:21,325 --> 00:44:22,785 All right, guys. Good day. 889 00:44:22,869 --> 00:44:24,412 A lot of candidates. Let's discuss. 890 00:44:24,537 --> 00:44:26,473 Okay, if you're not gonna interview me, thenl1ldoit 891 00:44:26,497 --> 00:44:27,540 yes. 892 00:44:28,166 --> 00:44:29,917 What will be your first priority? 893 00:44:31,085 --> 00:44:33,713 I will have seven first priorities. 894 00:44:33,796 --> 00:44:36,048 Safety, profits, 895 00:44:36,507 --> 00:44:39,844 fostering a community of self-reliance and entrepreneurship, 896 00:44:40,261 --> 00:44:43,014 listening, respect for human life, 897 00:44:43,681 --> 00:44:48,019 bolstering our public image, and getting everyone home on time. 898 00:44:49,103 --> 00:44:50,855 Dwight, let me be frank, 899 00:44:50,980 --> 00:44:52,773 in an accident that no one can blame you for, 900 00:44:52,857 --> 00:44:55,943 an antique gun was discharged while you were acting manager. 901 00:44:56,277 --> 00:44:58,237 How are we ever to trust you again? 902 00:45:01,866 --> 00:45:02,867 That's a great question. 903 00:45:04,702 --> 00:45:09,707 I am going to institute a strict "no firearms" policy for this office 904 00:45:09,790 --> 00:45:12,293 that extends to myself as well. 905 00:45:12,668 --> 00:45:15,588 Wow. All of my concerns are disappearing. 906 00:45:15,880 --> 00:45:17,632 Thank you, Dwight. Thank you. 907 00:45:22,094 --> 00:45:24,513 You'll be hearing from us shortly, Mr. Schrute, 908 00:45:24,805 --> 00:45:27,558 and I think you're going to like the call you're going to receive. 909 00:45:28,184 --> 00:45:29,685 Oh, come on. 910 00:45:31,646 --> 00:45:33,522 I'm just happy that I got this meeting. 911 00:45:37,985 --> 00:45:39,153 Well, that was quick. 912 00:45:39,237 --> 00:45:42,365 Very, very interesting. 913 00:45:43,074 --> 00:45:45,159 And you know what? I'm impressed. 914 00:45:45,743 --> 00:45:46,953 He's not a real candidate. 915 00:45:47,036 --> 00:45:48,972 I don't know, Jim, 'cause it makes me think about something 916 00:45:48,996 --> 00:45:50,331 that my grandfather used to say, 917 00:45:50,414 --> 00:45:53,417 which is that sometimes the hand that jumps out of the grave 918 00:45:53,501 --> 00:45:55,002 and grabs you around the throat, 919 00:45:55,086 --> 00:45:57,463 that is the hand that you want on the wheel. 920 00:45:57,546 --> 00:45:59,590 You took the deal. Yeah. It was a great deal. 921 00:45:59,674 --> 00:46:00,925 That's not okay. 922 00:46:01,008 --> 00:46:03,088 I don't know, Dwight seems like a great leader to me, 923 00:46:03,135 --> 00:46:06,472 and I look forward to the personal perks that he promised me privately. 924 00:46:06,555 --> 00:46:07,765 What do you think, Toby? 925 00:46:07,848 --> 00:46:09,493 Well, we could try him out for a little while, 926 00:46:09,517 --> 00:46:13,980 and if it doesn't work out, you know, maybe one of us could, you know, step in. 927 00:46:14,689 --> 00:46:16,315 What is happening right now? 928 00:46:18,985 --> 00:46:21,362 Is it true that you're making Dwight the manager? 929 00:46:21,445 --> 00:46:22,780 No. Why would you think that? 930 00:46:22,863 --> 00:46:25,157 Well, he and Kelly said, then they pre-fired me. 931 00:46:25,241 --> 00:46:26,242 Okay. 932 00:46:29,537 --> 00:46:32,290 Okay, guys, just so you all know, no decision has been made. 933 00:46:32,373 --> 00:46:34,709 And Dwight is definitely not the boss. 934 00:46:34,792 --> 00:46:37,628 That is correct actually, Dwight is not the manager yet. 935 00:46:37,712 --> 00:46:40,089 No, no, no, noteven 'cause that's not gonna happen. 936 00:46:40,172 --> 00:46:42,049 Well, it's not entirely up to you, is it? 937 00:46:42,133 --> 00:46:44,802 Seems to me like someone is getting a little power mad. 938 00:46:44,885 --> 00:46:47,513 Am I the only one who remembers what he did when he was in charge? 939 00:46:47,596 --> 00:46:49,157 I feel like I'm going a little bit crazy. 940 00:46:49,181 --> 00:46:52,059 Tuna, you're completely sane. Thank you. 941 00:46:52,268 --> 00:46:53,644 Who do you like for the job? 942 00:46:53,936 --> 00:46:56,731 Is there anyone who maybe was a little underwhelming at first 943 00:46:56,814 --> 00:47:01,485 but now seems like a safe, if not slightly unexciting, choice? 944 00:47:01,610 --> 00:47:04,947 Okay. It seems like everybody has an opinion, so who else? 945 00:47:05,031 --> 00:47:06,449 Anybody? Do you mean it? 946 00:47:06,532 --> 00:47:08,701 Anybody? Are you sure? 947 00:47:08,784 --> 00:47:10,202 I suppose I am. 948 00:47:10,286 --> 00:47:13,831 Okay. Well, what do I want in a manager? 949 00:47:14,415 --> 00:47:16,208 Let me see. 950 00:47:17,585 --> 00:47:20,087 What do I want? 951 00:47:20,755 --> 00:47:21,922 I don't think he meant... 952 00:47:22,048 --> 00:47:24,842 Hey, so now anyone gets to talk at any time? 953 00:47:24,925 --> 00:47:26,093 Go ahead. 954 00:47:26,594 --> 00:47:29,180 What do I want? 955 00:47:31,057 --> 00:47:34,643 I'm looking for someone who... 956 00:47:37,021 --> 00:47:39,440 Everyone is listening to me. 957 00:47:40,441 --> 00:47:41,650 Can I say... Jim: Yes. 958 00:47:41,734 --> 00:47:42,943 I think it should be Darryl. 959 00:47:43,027 --> 00:47:44,362 Jim: Okay. What a surprise. 960 00:47:44,445 --> 00:47:45,988 Minorities sticking together. 961 00:47:46,072 --> 00:47:47,406 Kelly's on your side. 962 00:47:47,490 --> 00:47:50,117 I'm sorry, is that all you think of me? A minority? 963 00:47:50,201 --> 00:47:54,955 I am so much more than that. I am a dancer. I'm a singer. I'm a fashion designer. 964 00:47:55,039 --> 00:47:57,291 Whoever it is, I think they should be lame. 965 00:47:58,125 --> 00:48:01,837 Kind of a non-threatening, moderate personality. 966 00:48:02,129 --> 00:48:03,881 I want an outsider. Perfect. 967 00:48:03,964 --> 00:48:06,234 There are several outside candidates that we think would be... 968 00:48:06,258 --> 00:48:07,510 No, I mean an outsider. 969 00:48:08,010 --> 00:48:09,887 Like someone on the margins of society 970 00:48:09,970 --> 00:48:12,556 who doesn't see things the way we do, like a homeless person. 971 00:48:12,681 --> 00:48:14,308 A homeless person. Really? 972 00:48:15,309 --> 00:48:16,602 A homeless person. 973 00:48:16,685 --> 00:48:18,372 No. You're right, Pam. Let's just leave them 974 00:48:18,396 --> 00:48:20,156 to the welfare system and let that handle it. 975 00:48:20,189 --> 00:48:22,066 No, I want you to say that you think 976 00:48:22,149 --> 00:48:25,403 the best person to be our new manager is a homeless person. 977 00:48:25,486 --> 00:48:26,862 Let me guess who you want, Pam. 978 00:48:26,946 --> 00:48:29,407 Rachael ray? The ladies of the view? 979 00:48:29,490 --> 00:48:33,411 I got away with everything under the last boss, 980 00:48:33,494 --> 00:48:35,371 and it wasn't good for me at all. 981 00:48:35,454 --> 00:48:38,457 So I want guidance. I want leadership. 982 00:48:38,874 --> 00:48:41,919 But don't just, like, boss me around, you know? 983 00:48:42,002 --> 00:48:43,170 Like, lead me. 984 00:48:43,295 --> 00:48:48,342 Lead me when I'm in the mood to be led. 985 00:48:48,676 --> 00:48:50,302 I just want, for once, 986 00:48:50,386 --> 00:48:54,265 a smart, professional, decisive, well-hung man in his 40s. 987 00:48:54,348 --> 00:48:56,225 Hey, hey, hey! Okay, fine. 988 00:48:56,517 --> 00:48:59,019 Uh, the guy with the tiny penis. 989 00:48:59,103 --> 00:49:01,647 Are you happy? Let's hire that guy! 990 00:49:01,730 --> 00:49:03,524 She may have a point there. 991 00:49:03,858 --> 00:49:06,277 Would a small penis work? 992 00:49:06,694 --> 00:49:08,612 Small to moderate. 993 00:49:08,696 --> 00:49:09,947 Gotta catch a plane. 994 00:49:10,573 --> 00:49:12,116 Hey, Gabe, I'm sorry. 995 00:49:12,199 --> 00:49:13,951 We didn't get you a cake or anything. 996 00:49:14,034 --> 00:49:15,035 We're gonna miss you. 997 00:49:15,119 --> 00:49:17,538 Well, I'm still the corporate liaison to the branch. 998 00:49:17,621 --> 00:49:20,332 You are not leaving without giving me a hug. 999 00:49:21,625 --> 00:49:22,626 Ugh. 1000 00:49:22,710 --> 00:49:24,604 Okay, you know what? You don't need to make that sound. 1001 00:49:24,628 --> 00:49:27,232 I'm sorry. You were just a lot bonier than I thought you were gonna be! 1002 00:49:27,256 --> 00:49:29,136 There are plenty of people who love touching me. 1003 00:49:29,383 --> 00:49:30,593 I'm a terrific hugger. 1004 00:49:31,218 --> 00:49:32,320 I've been with a bunch of girls 1005 00:49:32,344 --> 00:49:34,054 where that's basically all they wanna do. 1006 00:49:34,555 --> 00:49:35,973 I will see you all soon. Later, man. 1007 00:49:36,056 --> 00:49:37,183 Vvewinflssyou. Goodluck 1008 00:49:37,266 --> 00:49:38,546 Ryan: Good luck at your new job. 1009 00:49:38,601 --> 00:49:39,911 Take care, man. Dwight: Gonna miss you, Gabe. 1010 00:49:39,935 --> 00:49:42,646 Listen up. Listen up, ladies. 1011 00:49:43,898 --> 00:49:45,232 I want the job. 1012 00:49:46,442 --> 00:49:47,776 There. I said it. 1013 00:49:48,402 --> 00:49:51,405 I'm educated, I'm capable, I like all of you, 1014 00:49:51,572 --> 00:49:54,450 and I won't make any changes. 1015 00:49:55,242 --> 00:49:56,410 I see it. 1016 00:49:56,911 --> 00:50:01,373 I see it like I see a mountain that I'm standing in front of and facing and I'm liking. 1017 00:50:01,707 --> 00:50:02,708 Phyllis: Yeah. Yeah. 1018 00:50:02,791 --> 00:50:04,960 Andy would be wonderful as boss. 1019 00:50:05,127 --> 00:50:06,462 Erin made a good point. 1020 00:50:07,588 --> 00:50:10,382 No. We're not related. I got the call. 1021 00:50:12,009 --> 00:50:13,761 But I'll tell her some other day. 1022 00:50:15,095 --> 00:50:16,472 Okay, what's going on? 1023 00:50:16,931 --> 00:50:19,475 I thought I told you guys to expand the company. 1024 00:50:19,808 --> 00:50:23,771 Hlooks exactly the same. I'm very disappointed. 1025 00:50:24,313 --> 00:50:26,273 Jordana, get me Jo on the phone. 1026 00:50:30,069 --> 00:50:31,779 Okay, nobody say anything. 1027 00:50:38,619 --> 00:50:41,705 Hey, creed, this is Jo. No, don't say another word. 1028 00:50:41,789 --> 00:50:45,292 I need you to take a nap right now. Yes. 1029 00:50:46,043 --> 00:50:49,838 I want to talk to you in your dream. Lay down and put the phone... 1030 00:50:50,631 --> 00:50:55,302 Great. Very good. Okay, you gonna go to sleep. 1031 00:50:55,970 --> 00:50:57,490 Okay, I think we have about 40 minutes. 1032 00:50:58,138 --> 00:50:59,139 What about Darryl? 1033 00:51:00,140 --> 00:51:02,226 We can all agree that he's a standup guy, right? 1034 00:51:02,309 --> 00:51:05,521 Very nice, laid back. Overall, just a good guy. 1035 00:51:05,604 --> 00:51:08,440 What if he brings some of those warehouse types up here? 1036 00:51:08,524 --> 00:51:09,900 They're not carnies. 1037 00:51:10,109 --> 00:51:11,336 Meredith: Can we see a birth certificate? 1038 00:51:11,360 --> 00:51:13,946 I mean, how do we know he wasn't born in mubajuba or something? 1039 00:51:14,029 --> 00:51:15,322 What difference would that make? 1040 00:51:15,406 --> 00:51:18,659 I'm just saying American jobs should go to Americans. 1041 00:51:20,953 --> 00:51:23,706 Meredith, you can't just spit in the office. 1042 00:51:24,665 --> 00:51:26,000 Okay, I went too far. 1043 00:51:26,834 --> 00:51:27,835 Angela. 1044 00:51:28,002 --> 00:51:30,296 Well, let me be clear. I only speak for myself, 1045 00:51:30,379 --> 00:51:32,423 and not myself and the senator. 1046 00:51:32,631 --> 00:51:34,800 I think we have some wonderful candidates, 1047 00:51:34,883 --> 00:51:37,177 and there is a great lively debate here. 1048 00:51:37,344 --> 00:51:39,013 But let's think about... no. No. 1049 00:51:39,096 --> 00:51:41,682 No.sony we cut Kevin off for the same thing. 1050 00:51:41,765 --> 00:51:43,892 You have to have something to say if you talk. 1051 00:51:43,976 --> 00:51:45,102 Exactly. 1052 00:51:45,185 --> 00:51:47,146 Jada. No, no, no. Jada, what are you... 1053 00:51:48,147 --> 00:51:50,107 Oh. So sorry, guys. 1054 00:51:50,190 --> 00:51:52,651 I hope my family didn't disrupt your meeting. 1055 00:51:52,901 --> 00:51:56,322 Daddy, are these the people who are making you manager? 1056 00:51:56,405 --> 00:51:58,490 Maybe, sweetheart. 1057 00:51:58,574 --> 00:52:00,618 Single dad. Challenges. 1058 00:52:01,493 --> 00:52:03,746 Jada: I don't know if he'd be a good manager, 1059 00:52:03,829 --> 00:52:05,247 but he's a really great dad. 1060 00:52:05,372 --> 00:52:07,875 Okay. This was a mistake. Let's go. 1061 00:52:08,876 --> 00:52:11,795 It seems like we all know enough to vote. Should we just vote now? 1062 00:52:11,879 --> 00:52:13,189 What? No, no, no. It's not a vote. 1063 00:52:13,213 --> 00:52:15,257 Then what was this all about? I don't know. 1064 00:52:15,341 --> 00:52:17,176 This conversation really got away from me. 1065 00:52:17,259 --> 00:52:18,802 I don't care. They can just vote. 1066 00:52:18,886 --> 00:52:20,179 No, they can't. 1067 00:52:20,262 --> 00:52:22,014 That's not how this is gonna work. 1068 00:52:22,556 --> 00:52:25,059 We're going in this room. We're gonna have a meeting. 1069 00:52:25,142 --> 00:52:26,536 We're gonna make a recommendation to Jo, 1070 00:52:26,560 --> 00:52:29,521 and she's gonna give you her recommendation on Monday, okay? 1071 00:52:29,897 --> 00:52:31,315 What the hell happened out there? 1072 00:52:35,903 --> 00:52:38,822 Sometimes you hear people talking about failing upwards. 1073 00:52:40,240 --> 00:52:41,617 I think I'm about to do that. 1074 00:52:42,743 --> 00:52:44,912 This job? Oh, yeah, I'll get it. 1075 00:52:45,746 --> 00:52:47,206 Jo's an old friend. 1076 00:52:47,706 --> 00:52:50,459 I think I'm her best friend. 1077 00:52:50,834 --> 00:52:52,211 She's not my best friend. 1078 00:52:52,544 --> 00:52:54,380 Every day, I have a blueberry muffin. 1079 00:52:54,672 --> 00:52:56,882 Today I did not have a blueberry muffin. 1080 00:52:57,800 --> 00:52:59,385 Should have had the blueberry muffin. 1081 00:52:59,760 --> 00:53:03,097 Especially considering how incredibly superstitious I am. 1082 00:53:03,639 --> 00:53:05,719 No. I've never been more sure of anything in my life. 1083 00:53:06,183 --> 00:53:08,185 I will be the new boss of... 1084 00:53:10,062 --> 00:53:11,563 Vance refrigeration. 1085 00:53:12,898 --> 00:53:15,651 Honestly, I think I sabotaged myself. 1086 00:53:15,776 --> 00:53:18,028 It's like I'm afraid of being happy. 1087 00:53:19,071 --> 00:53:20,364 Case in point, 1088 00:53:21,323 --> 00:53:23,492 I was supposed to start another job today. 1089 00:53:23,784 --> 00:53:25,536 I will get offered the job. 1090 00:53:26,328 --> 00:53:29,331 That's a call I've received many times. 1091 00:53:29,415 --> 00:53:33,502 The slight hopefulness in their voice, the pregnant pause 1092 00:53:33,585 --> 00:53:36,630 while they wait to hear my response. 1093 00:53:36,964 --> 00:53:39,883 And then my response. 1094 00:53:41,468 --> 00:53:43,804 I want the job. I really do. 1095 00:53:44,012 --> 00:53:46,807 It's just the rest of my family's in the finger lakes right now. 1096 00:53:47,015 --> 00:53:49,476 I'm supposed to be in the finger lakes right now. 1097 00:53:49,977 --> 00:53:53,397 I told them I was on a hike, snuck away to do this interview. 1098 00:53:53,897 --> 00:53:55,858 I gotta get back pretty soon. They'll worry. 1099 00:53:56,150 --> 00:53:58,235 People disappear in the finger lakes. 1100 00:53:58,861 --> 00:54:03,991 I will run this branch or I will destroy this branch. 1101 00:54:05,743 --> 00:54:09,329 Or, I don't know. Something always works out. 1102 00:54:14,626 --> 00:54:18,255 You remind me so much of my fourth biggest client. 1103 00:54:18,338 --> 00:54:19,733 Is that right? 1104 00:54:19,757 --> 00:54:21,008 I think you two should meet. 1105 00:54:21,300 --> 00:54:22,300 Vveh, okay_. 1106 00:54:22,342 --> 00:54:26,263 Hey, jordana, patch my ninth and my fourth biggest client together. 1107 00:54:30,642 --> 00:54:31,685 Hello? 1108 00:54:31,852 --> 00:54:33,052 Hello! 1109 00:54:33,187 --> 00:54:34,521 Hi, how are you? 1110 00:54:34,646 --> 00:54:35,999 Oh, I'm good! 1111 00:54:36,023 --> 00:54:39,485 Don't you just love paper and things about paper? 1112 00:54:40,110 --> 00:54:41,546 Hey, are you single? 1113 00:54:41,570 --> 00:54:43,447 This seems like a love connection to me! 1114 00:54:43,530 --> 00:54:44,531 It's kismet. 1115 00:54:45,032 --> 00:54:47,201 Personally, I think Darryl would be good. 1116 00:54:47,326 --> 00:54:50,829 It has to be Darryl, or someone I don't know. 1117 00:54:51,371 --> 00:54:52,640 I thought the woman who came in, 1118 00:54:52,664 --> 00:54:54,541 she seemed like she had a fun energy. 1119 00:54:54,625 --> 00:54:58,003 I'm not a sexist. I just really don't want it to be a woman. 1120 00:54:58,962 --> 00:55:02,549 I just feel that women are generally less competent than men 1121 00:55:02,633 --> 00:55:04,301 and less rational. 1122 00:55:04,384 --> 00:55:06,178 Again, I'm not a sexist. 1123 00:55:06,720 --> 00:55:11,391 Even Andy... They need to pick someone. 1124 00:55:12,392 --> 00:55:14,895 Just someone. Fast. 80984

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.