Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
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the young person's guide to become a
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rock star what you need and somebody
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belief if you can live that to be mother
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as well too
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you also need talent charisma
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and leaks
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[Music]
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commitment Payton speller and the well
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to do the job profile who these elements
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the guerilla management sympathetic to
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your uninhibited approach story and the
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correct artistic environment then you'll
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be ready to leave the chilly hail nicob
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down in Harmelin delivery and snog juice
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in the field
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hotties talks where he
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[Applause]
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that's great you can widemouth yeah 29
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if you come off the base
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the music business can change you and
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are always in a good way in our kiss
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cycles
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recent sexual initiation produced an
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unforeseen result
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[Applause]
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[Music]
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yeah that's lovely that white knight
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might not and holy
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alright guys kusas then welcome Joshua
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hey - Saturday Wow
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so we've got Fiona Jaz Big Willie Joe
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and physio what I do know is that Martin
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has been absolutely dying to meet you
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all screaming he's bonkers
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oh dear Oh Martin you haven't fallen in
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love again avea she's beautiful look at
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him he wants a cuddle Jackie Makoto
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go on he's having so vogue a Oh
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great judge our scary hairy tarantula
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competition so come on bring money down
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look at them they're whoppers also we
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need someone who's gonna go out and
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speak with uncle Christopher in the
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agony corner I'll do that brilliant
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right
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okie dokie excellent
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he nagging and yeah DEET is it f in RI
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over there doing Q the jingle q the
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crappy jingle
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[Music]
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[Music]
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Spyder single lassi we are back on the
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heat stays interesting with just told
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you they were shattered by it
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okay so psycho isn't it nice a telephone
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it's all about well it's about a friend
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at jazzie's he had terrible trouble with
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plux she's actually God just like but
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one look at her face and say it's just
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gives you the book what's he on about
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Peterson that bono actually gone are you
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ready Martin Johnny doing the spider to
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uncle Christopher in the agony corner hi
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hello welcome to agony corner this is
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the part of the show where you ring in
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with your problems so let's go to the
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phone straight away and find out who's
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first on this morning hi I'm Walter
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hello Walter what's your problem
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I've been bullied by my English teacher
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and he won't leave me alone
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just keep pecking on me Walter that's
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terrible
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let me tell you something bullying is
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always wrong and when it's your English
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teacher it's even worse I feel for you I
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really do let's see if there's something
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we can do to help you out today Willie
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do you have some words of advice for
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Walter from Kilmarnock here do you know
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where this guy lives whoa whoa here yes
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that's good
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now I know a couple of guys in Paisley
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right
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would be more than happy to go in there
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good a kneecap this bastard that is I
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say excellent his legs day sorry about
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that we're having some technical
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difficulties will return to Saturday Wow
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shortly what I ought to do what I ought
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to do is make a few phone calls and
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ensure that your clients never work
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again
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or this or any other television channel
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ever mister definitely understand to be
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a wee bit sip you have reduced Debbie
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here to tears and jeopardize the public
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image of one of the most dedicated and
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professional children's broadcasters in
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the field
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surly Debbie I don't mean Debbie neither
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am i speaking of the irreparable damage
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to the reputation of Martin the marmoset
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I'm speaking now of uncle Christopher
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who has resigned from Saturday while
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forth with okay see the guy asked my
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opinion we have taken twenty seven
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thousand one hundred and twenty-two
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calls at our switchboard with a DC 2038
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were from citizens outraged by the death
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live on network children's television of
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a rare South Bolivian fruit Spider 6388
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were from children requesting
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kneecapping for their teachers
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interesting twelve thousand eight
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hundred and twenty two four photographs
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of Mister psycho MacPhail and the
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address of his fan club she's cuter
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happenin and the rest demanding for some
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unaccountable reason which continues to
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evade me your reappearance on the show
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so so we're offering you a regular spot
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for the next four weeks and if mr.
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McBaine can moderate his language we'd
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like him to take over in the agony
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corner you mean at Bianca well II that
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is correct
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you just said that we ruined your
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program you did but we got a shitload of
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coverage over this day Bart should be
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worth a couple of million in ratings mr.
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davanon
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will be happy
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to help you out good hospitality anyone
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matter that great well then I didn't
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tell no dupe I did it go sad we'll have
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to adjust happy
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don't push it mr. Stilson no in what
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wasn't so psycho do all the girls think
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you're the best-looking one there I see
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it not bother you though I mean you know
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they're not interested in you as a
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person they just want to get into your
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pants no I mean what I'm saying is is
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that I really feel truly comfortable
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with people who is famous as I am you
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know they're just unstart precious that
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will endure and it's only then that
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could truly open myself up Jonathan I'm
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saying it says all your fault
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I don't know what you're talking about
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the artist formerly known as psycho what
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just a shagging [ __ ] so pay on him okay
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you're just jealous
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no no what nothing
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oh come on let's go get some babies and
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go back to the flat
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I you feel like you've claimed a
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mountain you've got a deal
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carved out an audience made your album
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and being plunged into your whirlwind
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lifestyle of promotion gigs personal
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appearances celebrities just around the
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corner but the pressures getting to you
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just together day on day never out of
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each other's sight little things start
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to [ __ ] and somehow and we use your
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county fully articulate oh you're not
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happy I only can have a say in peace
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the photoshoot yes exactly
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sorry guys look at you baby I'm so good
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at maths noggin needs you gorgeous
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that's your long jet just talking food
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I'll make it secret sent a nice face it
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she's know you've seen enough let's go
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it can t avoid a certain amount of
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interpersonal tension within a band just
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try to keep things normal respond in an
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adult way keep your grip on reality
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[Applause]
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Hey piece of messages baby needs an
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all-over body massage reason my fiery
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out you okay
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i body fantastic
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you've gotta be careful stock honestly
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and say you're subject to constant
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temptation and if you're feeling that
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everything's getting on top year you'll
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be susceptible to activities that you
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make Leto come to regret
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although mum yeah hi is Jeremy
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[Music]
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normal care
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no you're gorgeous you um know just seen
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Alexanian ma if dad loves you too I does
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right put your hands on your hips and
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check it to the right Jim
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Oh feel the burn and pump it right but
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separate
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let's get them neck muscles working
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that's it good woman
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I'm just achieve encounter vascular a
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problem Jesus it's about Xie na
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is trouble mr. malroux you boy hey hey
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hey hey pull yourself together
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are you Gooden are ya beg pushy oh why
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is that because it out lassie I well
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forget all then well you just have to
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face it you're just no good look none
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off oh well I'll just tell it like a son
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I buy you a nice I'm always nice
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[Music]
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[Music]
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[Applause]
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[Music]
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[Music]
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[Applause]
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[Music]
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tell me what you want for me to get into
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[Music]
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[Applause]
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Manek
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[Music]
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we're making a video site ensure that
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you have a visual concept that does
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justice to your song eight nobility
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[Applause]
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[Music]
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my eyes
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[Music]
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see
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[Applause]
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[Music]
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amazing video consumer not be shut down
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and objects
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just what every penny sax music social
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conscience
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how - so - it having such tremendous
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head
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[Music]
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cut cut cut reset cardboard city I want
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some makeup for that front man please
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finally after years of struggle and
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study you're about to fulfill your
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destiny
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No at last you'll how to behave like a
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rockstar
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hey stop I'm the lead singer and a
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songwriter I'm not sorry man you stupid
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[ __ ]
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I'm the star me me make sure they touch
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up your arse acorn have only miss your
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best side
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fee
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come on we're all feeling a wee bit
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tense it's just everything seems wrong
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Gus I don't think I want to be in this
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and burned anymore I know I mean you
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should need to be by affection take your
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mind off things I do well tell you fee
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you come with a rate man I've discovered
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I've got talent in that unit
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[Music]
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you bastard what did you do that for
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a Fraggle love you you stupid God as the
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problem right cuz I'd certainly love him
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jokey am I missing something you of him
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and he loves you and that's the problem
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I am trying to maintain a professional
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relationship here that's a cool she's
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trying to preserve a professional
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relationship
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[Music]
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well I can see things have come to a
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head between cycles Ord you're a I and
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it's for that reason that the band have
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come to the difficult position cut
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rather the best thing would be still my
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head and for you to leave the band sure
280
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the bastard the door what I'm a little
281
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bad
282
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[Music]
283
00:20:39,040 --> 00:20:42,610
me I'll leave you with you
284
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[Music]
285
00:20:52,409 --> 00:20:55,590
SOT it
286
00:21:00,670 --> 00:21:02,180
okay don't
287
00:21:02,180 --> 00:21:04,490
are you sure this is gonna work yes he's
288
00:21:04,490 --> 00:21:05,210
got tea
289
00:21:05,210 --> 00:21:08,510
otherwise what god it's all don't you've
290
00:21:08,510 --> 00:21:12,820
elope sure I saw be as good as he senior
291
00:21:12,820 --> 00:21:20,900
yeah there's a somebody to see didn't
292
00:21:20,900 --> 00:21:21,680
find me
293
00:21:21,680 --> 00:21:24,550
she says she's held what a stud yeah
294
00:21:24,550 --> 00:21:27,550
really
295
00:21:28,960 --> 00:21:33,860
hey it's not a read you won't take a
296
00:21:33,860 --> 00:21:34,400
minute
297
00:21:34,400 --> 00:21:36,710
first time I saw you was at your concert
298
00:21:36,710 --> 00:21:39,010
and you were just beautiful
299
00:21:39,010 --> 00:21:43,400
well I'm not surprised oh do you like
300
00:21:43,400 --> 00:21:48,460
that yeah yeah that's really nice
301
00:21:48,820 --> 00:21:56,830
feeling sleepy yeah
302
00:21:56,830 --> 00:22:03,080
really really sleep listen carefully
303
00:22:03,080 --> 00:22:09,590
psycho you are a virgin by if you never
304
00:22:09,590 --> 00:22:13,400
done it with a lady beautiful women just
305
00:22:13,400 --> 00:22:17,380
don't find you attractive at all
306
00:22:17,380 --> 00:22:22,510
blue no
307
00:22:35,370 --> 00:22:37,670
[Music]
308
00:22:37,670 --> 00:22:40,320
what are you doing you're at the band
309
00:22:40,320 --> 00:22:43,650
right alright so we're not involved
310
00:22:43,650 --> 00:22:47,330
professionally I suppose not
311
00:22:47,510 --> 00:22:49,620
you're back in tomorrow morning and it's
312
00:22:49,620 --> 00:22:53,130
my turn to be fired next week so can we
313
00:22:53,130 --> 00:23:12,990
do some shagging no please to me this
314
00:23:12,990 --> 00:23:15,570
world is a wonderful place I'm the
315
00:23:15,570 --> 00:23:18,440
luckiest human
316
00:23:21,710 --> 00:23:37,539
I love that recycle
317
00:23:38,220 --> 00:23:41,329
[Music]
318
00:23:41,440 --> 00:23:43,190
hey cycle
319
00:23:43,190 --> 00:23:47,409
how'd you call me for lunch L asked me
320
00:23:49,570 --> 00:23:55,130
ha cycle so how you feel it boom
321
00:23:55,130 --> 00:23:57,770
so way can you remember any in a bit yes
322
00:23:57,770 --> 00:24:01,190
forty did something by down no no no I
323
00:24:01,190 --> 00:24:05,559
don't skill we know Jess glad to hear it
324
00:24:05,559 --> 00:24:08,270
listen I've just been doing the accounts
325
00:24:08,270 --> 00:24:10,520
and I'm afraid we've got we both grown
326
00:24:10,520 --> 00:24:17,649
to make up how much ground Jesus so
327
00:24:17,649 --> 00:24:20,600
comrades are we ready for a smidgen of
328
00:24:20,600 --> 00:24:23,550
marketing and promotion
329
00:24:23,550 --> 00:24:25,640
[Applause]
330
00:24:25,640 --> 00:24:27,520
[Music]
331
00:24:27,520 --> 00:24:32,190
[Applause]
332
00:24:33,350 --> 00:24:35,809
hello you're back with Jack Burke and
333
00:24:35,809 --> 00:24:38,150
access beautiful area
334
00:24:38,150 --> 00:24:41,160
[Applause]
335
00:24:41,160 --> 00:24:43,590
and in part three we'll be hearing from
336
00:24:43,590 --> 00:24:45,720
new massive mixed record signings Jaques
337
00:24:45,720 --> 00:24:47,460
wahey personally I think they load of
338
00:24:47,460 --> 00:24:49,680
crap but then again I would just kidding
339
00:24:49,680 --> 00:24:52,500
it's and there they are over there
340
00:24:52,500 --> 00:24:54,630
looking very Chaka and provincial I'm
341
00:24:54,630 --> 00:25:03,540
wicked wicked oh you are wicked yep I am
342
00:25:03,540 --> 00:25:04,740
we're out the townhouse might work we
343
00:25:04,740 --> 00:25:06,780
Bob we where we were and guess what
344
00:25:06,780 --> 00:25:08,730
happened Bobby passed out and great joys
345
00:25:08,730 --> 00:25:13,650
and what is having a stomach pumped I
346
00:25:13,650 --> 00:25:20,160
shagged his bird she's here she's into
347
00:25:20,160 --> 00:25:22,080
the building let's hear it for Sam
348
00:25:22,080 --> 00:25:25,180
[Music]
349
00:25:25,920 --> 00:25:36,410
[Applause]
350
00:25:36,410 --> 00:25:38,890
[Music]
351
00:25:38,890 --> 00:25:40,330
[Applause]
352
00:25:40,330 --> 00:25:43,020
[Music]
353
00:25:43,020 --> 00:25:45,460
[Applause]
354
00:25:45,460 --> 00:25:46,970
[Music]
355
00:25:46,970 --> 00:25:55,660
[Applause]
356
00:25:59,280 --> 00:26:04,300
Sammy Sammy Sammy check some folks
357
00:26:04,300 --> 00:26:06,390
everyone
358
00:26:06,390 --> 00:26:13,480
[Applause]
359
00:26:14,160 --> 00:26:16,840
you been do some acting I have indeed
360
00:26:16,840 --> 00:26:17,470
yes
361
00:26:17,470 --> 00:26:19,600
I just finished all my first two movies
362
00:26:19,600 --> 00:26:25,180
so you get it sit so you know do you get
363
00:26:25,180 --> 00:26:26,200
a kick I mean that's what we want to
364
00:26:26,200 --> 00:26:26,890
know isn't it
365
00:26:26,890 --> 00:26:30,959
[Applause]
366
00:26:31,419 --> 00:26:33,039
I mean you know sort of shower scene
367
00:26:33,039 --> 00:26:35,619
maybe you know or sauna and bassanio or
368
00:26:35,619 --> 00:26:39,249
bit hot in here sorry I think that's
369
00:26:39,249 --> 00:26:40,989
what about my page three days and I'm
370
00:26:40,989 --> 00:26:43,299
here to talk about my films okay it's a
371
00:26:43,299 --> 00:26:46,329
bit late for that darling is it math at
372
00:26:46,329 --> 00:26:47,829
work camera crew around or those people
373
00:26:47,829 --> 00:26:49,329
you know get your kit off in front of me
374
00:26:49,329 --> 00:26:52,349
meet Mosca embarrassing
375
00:26:53,040 --> 00:26:59,420
[Applause]
376
00:27:00,200 --> 00:27:03,409
don't worry I'm Jack Burke this is
377
00:27:03,409 --> 00:27:08,029
access beautiful area it's Sam stick
378
00:27:08,029 --> 00:27:09,590
around you'll love the next step ladies
379
00:27:09,590 --> 00:27:10,009
and gentleman
380
00:27:10,009 --> 00:27:16,820
check out mad for might decide right now
381
00:27:16,820 --> 00:27:18,919
attach the chain and pull don't try this
382
00:27:18,919 --> 00:27:20,149
at home kids unless you know of a
383
00:27:20,149 --> 00:27:22,450
plastic surgeon now here's a bit there
384
00:27:22,450 --> 00:27:26,629
and just insert into me study originally
385
00:27:26,629 --> 00:27:28,039
gets a bit frisky number the lights and
386
00:27:28,039 --> 00:27:32,450
Wong and to wait me crazy you'd here's
387
00:27:32,450 --> 00:27:38,289
fun my nose is bigger than my knob hurry
388
00:27:42,970 --> 00:27:46,929
what you do you can't back home but k6r
389
00:27:46,929 --> 00:27:50,119
we started here for us where are we
390
00:27:50,119 --> 00:27:52,039
gonna CLE just do what you're told you
391
00:27:52,039 --> 00:27:54,200
stupid cow oh darling you don't speak to
392
00:27:54,200 --> 00:28:02,299
her last shot eight yeah yeah ready you
393
00:28:02,299 --> 00:28:05,109
come down and tell them
394
00:28:11,669 --> 00:28:14,710
absolutely sitting this - are there
395
00:28:14,710 --> 00:28:16,330
absolutely disgusting do you like that
396
00:28:16,330 --> 00:28:21,070
I'm Sam no anyway yeah we were gonna be
397
00:28:21,070 --> 00:28:22,990
hearing from Jaques wahey but uh Mike -
398
00:28:22,990 --> 00:28:24,519
too long to get that lizard a bazaar so
399
00:28:24,519 --> 00:28:26,080
uh no time that's not a show for that
400
00:28:26,080 --> 00:28:27,279
one on next week's show
401
00:28:27,279 --> 00:28:31,179
we'll be having a stared up to play late
402
00:28:31,179 --> 00:28:32,230
late baby
403
00:28:32,230 --> 00:28:33,820
no it's thanks time guess I'm at the Fox
404
00:28:33,820 --> 00:28:35,230
so you didn't get your tits out better
405
00:28:35,230 --> 00:28:38,380
excuse me you're not listening to me son
406
00:28:38,380 --> 00:28:40,929
I've told that cheeky yeah we can do
407
00:28:40,929 --> 00:28:43,289
about it all
408
00:28:43,540 --> 00:29:13,390
[Applause]
409
00:29:16,590 --> 00:29:20,330
[Applause]
410
00:29:20,330 --> 00:29:21,290
[Music]
411
00:29:21,290 --> 00:29:23,000
[Applause]
412
00:29:23,000 --> 00:29:24,480
[Music]
413
00:29:24,480 --> 00:29:27,570
but see this skin you keep this out
414
00:29:27,570 --> 00:29:30,820
[Applause]
415
00:29:31,000 --> 00:29:35,680
[Music]
416
00:29:35,680 --> 00:29:36,570
[Applause]
417
00:29:36,570 --> 00:29:39,730
[Music]
418
00:29:43,010 --> 00:29:45,320
sometimes you need a little bit extra to
419
00:29:45,320 --> 00:29:47,770
me tomorrow
420
00:29:48,820 --> 00:29:50,800
in the shape of jack bears and live
421
00:29:50,800 --> 00:29:54,360
television just see the state code
422
00:29:54,900 --> 00:29:57,540
the following week we went straight in
423
00:29:57,540 --> 00:30:00,140
at number three
424
00:30:00,390 --> 00:30:03,609
[Music]
425
00:30:05,830 --> 00:30:08,429
watch it
426
00:30:08,990 --> 00:30:09,250
[Music]
427
00:30:09,250 --> 00:30:11,200
[Applause]
428
00:30:11,200 --> 00:30:13,120
young person's guide to becoming a rock
429
00:30:13,120 --> 00:30:17,120
star here's a handy summary
430
00:30:17,120 --> 00:30:20,150
put your band together rely on your
431
00:30:20,150 --> 00:30:22,370
parents for support you can't use as a
432
00:30:22,370 --> 00:30:25,720
manager emulate your heroes get could
433
00:30:25,720 --> 00:30:28,760
leave the past behind close that deal
434
00:30:28,760 --> 00:30:31,760
make friends and influence people have
435
00:30:31,760 --> 00:30:34,400
respect for your musical heritage stand
436
00:30:34,400 --> 00:30:37,180
up for yourselves
437
00:30:38,149 --> 00:30:41,509
and finally the young person's guide to
438
00:30:41,509 --> 00:30:43,179
become a rock star
439
00:30:43,179 --> 00:30:47,059
forget about that's a crazy world out
440
00:30:47,059 --> 00:30:51,799
there we just wrote some songs then got
441
00:30:51,799 --> 00:30:54,699
famous honesty
442
00:31:03,610 --> 00:31:11,130
[Music]
443
00:31:11,130 --> 00:31:13,230
[Applause]
444
00:31:13,230 --> 00:31:21,270
employee CD shaped total shaped
445
00:31:21,270 --> 00:31:25,080
[Applause]
446
00:31:25,080 --> 00:31:37,650
[Music]
447
00:31:37,650 --> 00:31:44,440
[Applause]
448
00:31:44,440 --> 00:31:53,290
[Music]
449
00:31:53,290 --> 00:31:59,250
so there you have it you know what to do
450
00:31:59,250 --> 00:32:04,650
so who's to stop me
451
00:32:06,300 --> 00:32:11,109
[Music]
452
00:32:14,530 --> 00:32:37,200
[Music]
453
00:32:41,400 --> 00:32:44,170
and it's all been worth it because
454
00:32:44,170 --> 00:32:47,170
Jacque ways debut album is available in
455
00:32:47,170 --> 00:32:48,560
the shops
456
00:32:48,560 --> 00:32:51,920
[Music]
457
00:32:54,100 --> 00:32:57,910
[Applause]
458
00:32:57,910 --> 00:33:00,910
beautiful
459
00:33:01,910 --> 00:33:07,040
[Music]
460
00:33:07,040 --> 00:33:13,670
you trust that somebody hangs up
461
00:33:14,790 --> 00:33:26,559
[Music]
462
00:33:28,649 --> 00:33:31,919
we call
29748
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