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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:32,566 --> 00:00:33,534 All right, Jim, 2 00:00:33,567 --> 00:00:36,304 your quarterlies look very good. 3 00:00:36,337 --> 00:00:37,571 How are things going at the library? 4 00:00:37,605 --> 00:00:40,074 Oh, I told you. I couldn't close it, so... 5 00:00:40,108 --> 00:00:43,577 So you've come to the master for guidance? 6 00:00:43,611 --> 00:00:46,180 [Chinese accent] Is this what you're saying, Grasshopper? 7 00:00:46,214 --> 00:00:47,815 Uh, actually, you called me in here. 8 00:00:47,848 --> 00:00:49,383 But, yeah. 9 00:00:49,417 --> 00:00:52,120 All right, well, let me show you how it's done. 10 00:00:52,153 --> 00:00:54,588 Yes, I'd like to speak to your office manager, please. 11 00:00:54,622 --> 00:00:56,757 Yes, hello. This is Michael Scott. 12 00:00:56,790 --> 00:00:58,459 I am the Regional Manager 13 00:00:58,492 --> 00:01:00,628 of Dunder Mifflin paper products. 14 00:01:00,661 --> 00:01:03,697 Just wanted to talk to you manager a manager. 15 00:01:06,700 --> 00:01:07,868 All right, done deal! 16 00:01:07,901 --> 00:01:09,437 [Irish accent] Thank you very much, sir! 17 00:01:09,470 --> 00:01:13,107 You're gentleman and a scholar. 18 00:01:13,141 --> 00:01:14,708 Oh, I'm sorry. 19 00:01:14,742 --> 00:01:16,277 Okay. I'm sorry. 20 00:01:16,310 --> 00:01:18,279 My mistake. 21 00:01:18,312 --> 00:01:19,313 [clears throat] 22 00:01:19,347 --> 00:01:21,582 That was a woman I was talking to. 23 00:01:21,615 --> 00:01:24,552 So. She had a very low voice. 24 00:01:24,585 --> 00:01:26,620 Probably a smoker. 25 00:01:26,654 --> 00:01:30,324 So... [clears throat] 26 00:01:30,358 --> 00:01:31,592 So that's the way it's done. 27 00:01:31,625 --> 00:01:33,894 I've, uh, I've been at Dunder Mifflin 28 00:01:33,927 --> 00:01:35,296 for 12 years. 29 00:01:35,329 --> 00:01:37,731 The last four as regional manager. 30 00:01:37,765 --> 00:01:40,768 Uh, if you wanna come through here. 31 00:01:40,801 --> 00:01:42,903 Ah, see, we have the entire floor. 32 00:01:42,936 --> 00:01:45,639 So this is my kingdom, far as the eye can see. 33 00:01:45,673 --> 00:01:48,309 Ah, this is our receptionist Pam. 34 00:01:48,342 --> 00:01:50,178 [imitating Bam-Bam] Pam! Pam, Pam! 35 00:01:50,211 --> 00:01:51,412 Pam Beasley. 36 00:01:51,445 --> 00:01:55,149 Uh, Pam has been with us, um...for...forever. 37 00:01:55,183 --> 00:01:56,250 Right, Pam? 38 00:01:56,284 --> 00:01:57,318 Well, I don't know. 39 00:01:57,351 --> 00:01:58,286 If you think she's cute now, 40 00:01:58,319 --> 00:01:59,787 you should have seen her a couple of years ago. 41 00:01:59,820 --> 00:02:01,289 Reow, reow. 42 00:02:01,322 --> 00:02:02,290 What? 43 00:02:02,323 --> 00:02:03,624 Uh, any messages? 44 00:02:03,657 --> 00:02:06,694 Um...yeah. Just a fax. 45 00:02:06,727 --> 00:02:08,629 Oh. 46 00:02:08,662 --> 00:02:09,563 Pam, this is from corporate. 47 00:02:09,597 --> 00:02:11,265 How many times have I told you I know... 48 00:02:11,299 --> 00:02:12,566 that there's a special filing cabinet 49 00:02:12,600 --> 00:02:13,867 for things from corporate? 50 00:02:13,901 --> 00:02:14,902 You haven't told me-- 51 00:02:14,935 --> 00:02:16,270 It's called the wastepaper basket! 52 00:02:16,304 --> 00:02:18,606 [bawdy laugh] 53 00:02:18,639 --> 00:02:21,175 Look at that! 54 00:02:21,209 --> 00:02:22,710 Oh, look at that face. 55 00:02:22,743 --> 00:02:25,246 People say I am the best boss. 56 00:02:25,279 --> 00:02:26,614 They go, 57 00:02:26,647 --> 00:02:28,349 "God, we've never worked in a place like this before. 58 00:02:28,382 --> 00:02:30,251 "You're hilarious. 59 00:02:30,284 --> 00:02:32,420 And you get the best out of us." 60 00:02:32,453 --> 00:02:34,955 Um... 61 00:02:34,988 --> 00:02:38,659 I think that pretty much sums it up. 62 00:02:38,692 --> 00:02:40,794 I found it at Spencer Gifts. 63 00:02:43,731 --> 00:02:47,535 * Shall I play for you 64 00:02:47,568 --> 00:02:49,670 * Pa rum pa pum pum 65 00:02:49,703 --> 00:02:53,374 [imitating drums] 66 00:02:53,407 --> 00:02:56,344 * I have no gifts for you 67 00:02:56,377 --> 00:02:58,246 * Pa rum pa pum pum 68 00:02:58,279 --> 00:03:00,548 [imitating drums] 69 00:03:00,581 --> 00:03:03,917 My job is to speak to clients, um, on the phone, 70 00:03:03,951 --> 00:03:07,555 about... uh, quantities 71 00:03:07,588 --> 00:03:12,793 and, uh, type of... copier paper. 72 00:03:12,826 --> 00:03:15,763 You know, whether we can supply it to them, 73 00:03:15,796 --> 00:03:18,799 whether they can, uh... 74 00:03:18,832 --> 00:03:19,833 pay for it. 75 00:03:19,867 --> 00:03:21,802 And, um... 76 00:03:21,835 --> 00:03:24,872 [clicks tongue] 77 00:03:24,905 --> 00:03:28,742 I'm--I'm boring myself just talking about this. 78 00:03:32,780 --> 00:03:34,582 Wassuuuup? 79 00:03:34,615 --> 00:03:35,883 Wassuuuup? 80 00:03:35,916 --> 00:03:37,751 I still love that after seven years. 81 00:03:37,785 --> 00:03:39,820 Whasuuuup? 82 00:03:39,853 --> 00:03:42,490 Whasuuuup? 83 00:03:42,523 --> 00:03:44,258 Whasuuuuuuuuuup? 84 00:03:45,893 --> 00:03:46,860 Whassup? 85 00:03:46,894 --> 00:03:47,861 Oh, wow. 86 00:03:53,801 --> 00:03:55,669 [groans] 87 00:03:59,440 --> 00:04:00,841 What? 88 00:04:00,874 --> 00:04:02,676 Nothin'. 89 00:04:02,710 --> 00:04:04,044 Okay, all right. 90 00:04:04,077 --> 00:04:05,513 See you later. 91 00:04:05,546 --> 00:04:07,481 All right. 92 00:04:07,515 --> 00:04:08,849 Take care. 93 00:04:08,882 --> 00:04:10,384 Back to work! 94 00:04:14,855 --> 00:04:16,690 (woman) Just try to reach him sometime today. 95 00:04:16,724 --> 00:04:18,759 Um, I don't know, just before lunch. 96 00:04:18,792 --> 00:04:20,894 That would be great. 97 00:04:20,928 --> 00:04:22,563 (Michael) Corporate really doesn't interfere with me at all. 98 00:04:22,596 --> 00:04:23,631 Jan Levenson-Gould-- 99 00:04:23,664 --> 00:04:25,333 Jan! Hello! 100 00:04:25,366 --> 00:04:27,835 I call her Hillary Rodham Clinton. 101 00:04:27,868 --> 00:04:29,903 Right? Not to her face, because, uh-- 102 00:04:29,937 --> 00:04:32,740 Well, not because I'm scared of her. 103 00:04:32,773 --> 00:04:34,542 Because I'm not. 104 00:04:34,575 --> 00:04:37,511 But, um, yeah. 105 00:04:37,545 --> 00:04:39,613 All right, was there anything you wanted to add to the agenda? 106 00:04:39,647 --> 00:04:43,817 Mmm...me no get an agenda. 107 00:04:43,851 --> 00:04:45,653 I'm sor--What? I'm sorry? 108 00:04:45,686 --> 00:04:46,887 I didn't get any agenda. 109 00:04:46,920 --> 00:04:48,889 Well, I faxed one over to you this morning. 110 00:04:48,922 --> 00:04:50,924 Really? 'Cause it didn't, uh, I didn't-- 111 00:04:50,958 --> 00:04:53,026 Did we get a fax this morning? 112 00:04:53,060 --> 00:04:54,862 Uh, yeah, the one-- 113 00:04:54,895 --> 00:04:58,632 Then why--why isn't it in my hand? 114 00:04:58,666 --> 00:05:00,768 Because a company runs on efficiency of communication. 115 00:05:00,801 --> 00:05:02,703 Right? Just... [imitates gun firing] 116 00:05:02,736 --> 00:05:04,405 Um, so what's the problem, Pam? 117 00:05:04,438 --> 00:05:07,040 Why didn't, uh, why didn't I get it? 118 00:05:07,074 --> 00:05:09,343 You put it in the garbage can 119 00:05:09,377 --> 00:05:11,379 that was a special filing cabinet. 120 00:05:14,715 --> 00:05:16,617 Yeah! Uh, that was a joke. 121 00:05:16,650 --> 00:05:17,951 That was a joke that, uh, 122 00:05:17,985 --> 00:05:19,787 was actually my brother's. 123 00:05:19,820 --> 00:05:20,788 And it was-- [laughs] 124 00:05:20,821 --> 00:05:21,855 it was supposed to be with bills, 125 00:05:21,889 --> 00:05:23,824 and it doesn't work great with faxes. 126 00:05:23,857 --> 00:05:25,025 Do you wanna look at mine? Yeah. 127 00:05:25,058 --> 00:05:26,827 Yeah, I would. Thank you. 128 00:05:26,860 --> 00:05:28,896 Okay, since the last meeting, 129 00:05:28,929 --> 00:05:30,598 Alan and the board have decided 130 00:05:30,631 --> 00:05:32,400 that we can't justify a Scranton branch 131 00:05:32,433 --> 00:05:33,601 and a Stanford branch. 132 00:05:33,634 --> 00:05:34,768 Oh, okay. 133 00:05:34,802 --> 00:05:35,836 Michael, don't panic-- 134 00:05:35,869 --> 00:05:36,970 No, no, no, no. This is good. 135 00:05:37,004 --> 00:05:38,772 This is good. This is fine, excellent. 136 00:05:38,806 --> 00:05:39,607 Michael, listen, okay, don't panic. 137 00:05:39,640 --> 00:05:40,741 Although alarm bells are kinda going 138 00:05:40,774 --> 00:05:43,076 ringy dingy dingy! We haven't made any decisions yet. 139 00:05:43,110 --> 00:05:44,478 I've spoken to Josh in Stanford. 140 00:05:44,512 --> 00:05:45,879 I've told him the same as you, 141 00:05:45,913 --> 00:05:47,815 and it's up to either you or him to convince me 142 00:05:47,848 --> 00:05:48,882 that your branch can incorporate the other. 143 00:05:48,916 --> 00:05:50,150 Okay, no problem. 144 00:05:50,183 --> 00:05:51,985 This does, however, mean that there's going to be downsizing. 145 00:05:52,019 --> 00:05:53,887 Me no wanna hear that, Jan. 146 00:05:53,921 --> 00:05:56,123 Because downsizing is a bitch. 147 00:05:56,156 --> 00:05:58,726 It is a real bitch. 148 00:05:58,759 --> 00:06:01,962 And I wouldn't wish that on Josh's men. 149 00:06:01,995 --> 00:06:03,831 I certainly wouldn't wish it on my men. 150 00:06:03,864 --> 00:06:06,600 Or women, present company excluded. 151 00:06:06,634 --> 00:06:07,968 Sorry, uh... 152 00:06:08,001 --> 00:06:11,138 Is Josh concerned about downsizing, himself? 153 00:06:11,171 --> 00:06:12,573 Not downsizing himself, 154 00:06:12,606 --> 00:06:13,941 but is he concerned about downsizing? 155 00:06:17,878 --> 00:06:19,112 Ha ha ha ha! 156 00:06:19,146 --> 00:06:21,014 Question: How long do we have to act-- 157 00:06:21,048 --> 00:06:23,083 [telephone rings] 158 00:06:23,116 --> 00:06:25,553 Oh, Todd Packer. Terrific rep. 159 00:06:25,586 --> 00:06:26,687 Do you mind if I take it? 160 00:06:26,720 --> 00:06:27,855 Go right ahead. 161 00:06:27,888 --> 00:06:28,722 Packman. 162 00:06:28,756 --> 00:06:30,190 (Todd) Hey, you big queen! 163 00:06:30,223 --> 00:06:31,992 Oh, that's not... appropriate. 164 00:06:32,025 --> 00:06:34,828 Hey, is old Godzillary coming in today? 165 00:06:34,862 --> 00:06:36,096 Um, I don't know. I don't know what you mean. 166 00:06:36,129 --> 00:06:39,433 Look, I've been meaning to ask her one question. 167 00:06:39,467 --> 00:06:41,435 Does the carpet match the drapes? 168 00:06:41,469 --> 00:06:42,903 Oh, my God. 169 00:06:42,936 --> 00:06:44,171 Ohh! 170 00:06:44,204 --> 00:06:46,974 That's...horrifying. 171 00:06:48,141 --> 00:06:49,943 And horrible. 172 00:06:49,977 --> 00:06:52,846 Horrible person. 173 00:06:52,880 --> 00:06:55,883 So do you think we could keep a lid on this for now? 174 00:06:55,916 --> 00:06:57,918 I don't wanna worry people unnecessarily. 175 00:06:57,951 --> 00:06:58,919 No, absolutely. 176 00:06:58,952 --> 00:07:00,220 Under this regime, 177 00:07:00,253 --> 00:07:01,889 it will not leave this office. 178 00:07:01,922 --> 00:07:03,691 Just...like that. 179 00:07:03,724 --> 00:07:05,859 [whispering] So what does downsizing actually mean? 180 00:07:05,893 --> 00:07:06,960 Well... 181 00:07:06,994 --> 00:07:08,996 [whispering] You guys gotta update your resumes, 182 00:07:09,029 --> 00:07:09,997 just like I'm doing. 183 00:07:10,030 --> 00:07:11,765 I bet it's gonna be me. 184 00:07:11,799 --> 00:07:14,001 It's probably gonna be me. 185 00:07:14,034 --> 00:07:15,603 Yeah, it'll be you. 186 00:07:15,636 --> 00:07:17,004 I have an important question for you. 187 00:07:17,037 --> 00:07:18,238 Yes? 188 00:07:18,271 --> 00:07:21,108 [laughing] Um, are you going to Angela's cat party on Sunday? 189 00:07:21,141 --> 00:07:23,844 Yeah. Stop. That is ridiculous. 190 00:07:23,877 --> 00:07:25,679 (Michael) Am I gonna tell them? No, I'm not going to tell them. 191 00:07:25,713 --> 00:07:26,847 I don't see the point of that. 192 00:07:26,880 --> 00:07:28,982 As a doctor, you would not tell a patient 193 00:07:29,016 --> 00:07:30,751 if they had cancer. 194 00:07:30,784 --> 00:07:31,852 Hey! 195 00:07:31,885 --> 00:07:33,621 Hey! This is Mr. Scott. 196 00:07:33,654 --> 00:07:35,589 Guilty! Guilty as charged. 197 00:07:35,623 --> 00:07:37,024 Ryan Howard from the temp agency. 198 00:07:37,057 --> 00:07:37,825 Uh-huh. 199 00:07:37,858 --> 00:07:39,560 Daniqua sent me down to start today. 200 00:07:39,593 --> 00:07:41,962 Howard, like Moe Howard, Three Stooges. 201 00:07:41,995 --> 00:07:43,797 Watch this, this is Moe. 202 00:07:43,831 --> 00:07:44,998 Nyuck! Nyuck! Nyuck! Nyuck! Nyuck! 203 00:07:45,032 --> 00:07:47,735 Meeeeh! Ha ha! 204 00:07:47,768 --> 00:07:49,169 Ah, right here. Three Stooges. 205 00:07:49,202 --> 00:07:51,004 High five! Oh, Pam. 206 00:07:51,038 --> 00:07:53,040 It's a guy thing, Pam. 207 00:08:09,289 --> 00:08:10,891 (Pam) I don't think it would be 208 00:08:10,924 --> 00:08:12,893 the worst thing if they let me go. 209 00:08:12,926 --> 00:08:15,195 Because then I might-- 210 00:08:15,228 --> 00:08:16,997 I just, I don't think it's many little girls' dream 211 00:08:17,030 --> 00:08:19,600 to be a receptionist. 212 00:08:19,633 --> 00:08:21,702 Um, I like to do illustrations. 213 00:08:21,735 --> 00:08:25,205 Um, mostly watercolor. 214 00:08:25,238 --> 00:08:27,908 A few oil pencil. Um... 215 00:08:27,941 --> 00:08:31,979 Jim thinks they're good. 216 00:08:32,012 --> 00:08:34,882 Sure. Uh, Mr. Davis, let me call you right back. 217 00:08:34,915 --> 00:08:36,684 Yeah, something just came up. Two minutes. 218 00:08:36,717 --> 00:08:38,852 Thank you very much. 219 00:08:38,886 --> 00:08:39,953 Dwight, what are you doing? 220 00:08:39,987 --> 00:08:41,855 What? What are you doing? 221 00:08:41,889 --> 00:08:43,691 Just clearing my desk. I can't concentrate. 222 00:08:43,724 --> 00:08:44,725 It's not on your desk. 223 00:08:44,758 --> 00:08:45,726 It's overlapping. 224 00:08:45,759 --> 00:08:47,595 It's all spilling over the edge. 225 00:08:47,628 --> 00:08:49,630 One word, two syllables: demarcation. 226 00:09:16,156 --> 00:09:17,591 (Dwight) Downsizing? 227 00:09:17,625 --> 00:09:19,092 Yeah, I have no problem with that. 228 00:09:19,126 --> 00:09:21,228 I have been recommending downsizing 229 00:09:21,261 --> 00:09:23,163 since I first got here. 230 00:09:23,196 --> 00:09:25,265 I even brought it up in my interview. 231 00:09:25,298 --> 00:09:27,968 I say bring it on. 232 00:09:29,136 --> 00:09:30,971 (Pam) You just still have these messages from yesterday. 233 00:09:31,004 --> 00:09:33,006 Relax, everything's under control. 234 00:09:33,040 --> 00:09:35,108 Uh, yeah. There we go, yeah. 235 00:09:35,142 --> 00:09:36,944 Oh, that's important. Rrrright. 236 00:09:36,977 --> 00:09:41,114 Oh, this is so important I should run to answer it. 237 00:09:41,148 --> 00:09:42,783 Sha-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta! 238 00:09:42,816 --> 00:09:45,018 Sha-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta! 239 00:09:45,052 --> 00:09:47,120 Sha-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta! 240 00:09:47,154 --> 00:09:49,356 Sha-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta! 241 00:09:49,389 --> 00:09:51,224 Sha-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta! 242 00:09:51,258 --> 00:09:54,027 Sha-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta! 243 00:09:54,061 --> 00:09:57,064 Sha-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta! 244 00:10:00,834 --> 00:10:01,835 What? 245 00:10:01,869 --> 00:10:03,170 Come on! 246 00:10:03,203 --> 00:10:04,972 Six Million Dollar Man! 247 00:10:05,005 --> 00:10:05,973 Steve Austin! 248 00:10:06,006 --> 00:10:08,341 Actually, that would be a good salary for me, 249 00:10:08,375 --> 00:10:09,677 don't you think? 250 00:10:09,710 --> 00:10:10,778 $6 million? 251 00:10:10,811 --> 00:10:13,246 Memo to Jan: I deserve a raise. 252 00:10:13,280 --> 00:10:14,915 Don't we all? 253 00:10:14,948 --> 00:10:16,249 I'm sorry? 254 00:10:16,283 --> 00:10:18,952 It's nothing. 255 00:10:18,986 --> 00:10:21,889 If you're unhappy with your compensation, 256 00:10:21,922 --> 00:10:24,057 maybe you should take it up with H.R. 257 00:10:24,091 --> 00:10:24,958 Okay? 258 00:10:24,992 --> 00:10:26,727 Not today, okay? 259 00:10:26,760 --> 00:10:29,062 Pam, just... be professional. 260 00:10:31,198 --> 00:10:33,701 [sighs] 261 00:10:33,734 --> 00:10:36,069 (Michael) I think I'm a role model here. 262 00:10:36,103 --> 00:10:37,871 I think I garner people's respect. 263 00:10:37,905 --> 00:10:40,741 Attention all Dunder Mifflin employees, please. 264 00:10:40,774 --> 00:10:42,175 We have a meeting in the conference room 265 00:10:42,209 --> 00:10:43,744 A.S.A.P. 266 00:10:43,777 --> 00:10:46,213 (Michael) People I respect, heroes of mine, would be... 267 00:10:46,246 --> 00:10:48,415 Bob Hope. 268 00:10:48,448 --> 00:10:53,020 Um... Abraham Lincoln. 269 00:10:53,053 --> 00:10:55,455 Definitely. 270 00:10:55,488 --> 00:10:59,760 Bono. 271 00:10:59,793 --> 00:11:02,329 Uh, and probably God... 272 00:11:02,362 --> 00:11:05,899 would be the fourth one. 273 00:11:05,933 --> 00:11:07,901 And I just think all those people 274 00:11:07,935 --> 00:11:11,071 really helped the world 275 00:11:11,104 --> 00:11:14,074 in so many ways 276 00:11:14,107 --> 00:11:16,844 that it's, um... 277 00:11:16,877 --> 00:11:18,846 it's really beyond words. 278 00:11:21,181 --> 00:11:23,917 [mispronouncing] It's really incalcalacable. 279 00:11:23,951 --> 00:11:25,185 Now, I know there are some rumors out there, 280 00:11:25,218 --> 00:11:27,054 and I just kinda wanna set the record straight-- 281 00:11:27,087 --> 00:11:28,922 I'm Assistant Regional Manger. I should know first. 282 00:11:28,956 --> 00:11:30,223 Assistant to the Regional Manager. 283 00:11:30,257 --> 00:11:32,292 Okay, um, can you just tell me, please? 284 00:11:32,325 --> 00:11:34,127 Just tell me quietly. Whisper it in my ear. 285 00:11:34,161 --> 00:11:35,729 I'm just about to tell everyone. 286 00:11:35,763 --> 00:11:37,030 Can't you just tell us-- Please! 287 00:11:37,064 --> 00:11:38,498 Okay? Do you want me to tell them? 288 00:11:38,531 --> 00:11:40,167 You don't know what it is. 289 00:11:40,200 --> 00:11:41,334 [chuckles] 290 00:11:41,368 --> 00:11:43,036 Okay, you tell them. With my permission. 291 00:11:43,070 --> 00:11:44,237 I don't need-- Permission granted. Go ahead. 292 00:11:44,271 --> 00:11:47,274 Corporate has deemed it appropriate 293 00:11:47,307 --> 00:11:50,410 to enforce an ultimatum upon me. 294 00:11:50,443 --> 00:11:53,313 And, uh, Jan is thinking about downsizing 295 00:11:53,346 --> 00:11:55,348 either the Stanford branch or this branch. 296 00:12:03,791 --> 00:12:05,525 Yeah, but, Michael, what if they downsize here? 297 00:12:05,558 --> 00:12:06,860 Not gonna happen. 298 00:12:06,894 --> 00:12:07,795 It could be out of your hands, Michael. 299 00:12:07,828 --> 00:12:11,198 It won't be out of my hands, Stanley, okay? 300 00:12:11,231 --> 00:12:12,265 I promise you that. 301 00:12:12,299 --> 00:12:13,366 Oh, can you promise that? 302 00:12:13,400 --> 00:12:14,835 On his mother's grave. 303 00:12:14,868 --> 00:12:16,069 Well... 304 00:12:16,103 --> 00:12:17,404 No! 305 00:12:17,437 --> 00:12:19,439 Well, yeah, it is a promise. 306 00:12:19,472 --> 00:12:21,208 And, frankly, I'm a little bit insulted 307 00:12:21,241 --> 00:12:23,376 that you have to keep asking about it. 308 00:12:23,410 --> 00:12:24,778 It's just that we need to know. 309 00:12:24,812 --> 00:12:27,447 I-I know. Hold on a second. 310 00:12:27,480 --> 00:12:28,816 I think Pam wanted to say something. 311 00:12:28,849 --> 00:12:31,785 Pam, you, uh... 312 00:12:31,819 --> 00:12:34,287 had a look that you wanted to ask a question 313 00:12:34,321 --> 00:12:36,790 just now. 314 00:12:36,824 --> 00:12:38,792 I was in the meeting with Jan, 315 00:12:38,826 --> 00:12:40,961 and she did say that it could be this branch 316 00:12:40,994 --> 00:12:42,129 that gets the axe. 317 00:12:42,162 --> 00:12:44,264 (Stanley) Are you sure about that? 318 00:12:44,297 --> 00:12:45,532 Look, Pam... 319 00:12:45,565 --> 00:12:46,666 Uh, maybe you should stick 320 00:12:46,699 --> 00:12:50,003 to the ongoing confidentiality agreement of meetings. 321 00:12:50,037 --> 00:12:52,072 Pam, information is power. 322 00:12:52,105 --> 00:12:53,240 So... 323 00:12:53,273 --> 00:12:54,507 (Stanley) So you can't say for sure 324 00:12:54,541 --> 00:12:55,976 whether it's gonna be us or them, can you? 325 00:12:56,009 --> 00:12:57,010 No, no, no, no. 326 00:12:57,044 --> 00:12:58,378 Stanley, no. 327 00:12:58,411 --> 00:13:00,814 You did not see me in there with her. 328 00:13:00,848 --> 00:13:03,383 I said if, uh, if corporate 329 00:13:03,416 --> 00:13:05,452 wants to come in here and interfere, 330 00:13:05,485 --> 00:13:07,354 then they're gonna have to go through me. 331 00:13:07,387 --> 00:13:08,555 Right? 332 00:13:08,588 --> 00:13:10,858 You know, you can go mess with Josh's people. 333 00:13:10,891 --> 00:13:12,525 But I'm the head of this family, 334 00:13:12,559 --> 00:13:16,329 and you ain't gonna be messin' with my chillun'. 335 00:13:22,970 --> 00:13:25,005 If I left, what would I do with... 336 00:13:25,038 --> 00:13:28,475 all this useless information in my head? 337 00:13:28,508 --> 00:13:33,080 You know? Tonnage price of manila folders? 338 00:13:33,113 --> 00:13:35,582 Um, Pam's favorite flavor of yogurt, 339 00:13:35,615 --> 00:13:37,017 which is mixed berry. 340 00:13:41,388 --> 00:13:42,589 Jim said mixed berries? 341 00:13:44,892 --> 00:13:47,627 Oh, well, yeah, he's on to me. 342 00:13:47,660 --> 00:13:49,897 Um... 343 00:13:49,930 --> 00:13:51,965 Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Watch out for this guy. 344 00:13:51,999 --> 00:13:54,001 Dwight Schrute in the building. 345 00:13:54,034 --> 00:13:54,701 This is Ryan, the new temp. 346 00:13:54,734 --> 00:13:56,003 What's up? Nice to meet you. 347 00:13:56,036 --> 00:13:57,370 Introduce yourself. Be polite. 348 00:13:57,404 --> 00:13:59,639 Uh, Dwight Schrute, Assistant Regional Manager. 349 00:13:59,672 --> 00:14:01,942 Assistant to the Regional Manager. 350 00:14:01,975 --> 00:14:04,411 So, uh, Dwight, tell him about the Kung Fu 351 00:14:04,444 --> 00:14:06,446 and the car and everything. 352 00:14:06,479 --> 00:14:09,216 Uh, yeah, I got a '78 280Z. 353 00:14:09,249 --> 00:14:10,650 I bought it for 1,200, fixed it up. 354 00:14:10,683 --> 00:14:11,651 It's now worth three grand. 355 00:14:11,684 --> 00:14:12,485 That is his profit. 356 00:14:12,519 --> 00:14:14,487 Yeah, uh, new engine, suspension. 357 00:14:14,521 --> 00:14:16,656 I got a respray. I got some photos. 358 00:14:16,689 --> 00:14:19,126 Oh! Damn it! 359 00:14:19,159 --> 00:14:19,960 Damn it! I-- 360 00:14:19,993 --> 00:14:22,195 Hold on, hold on. Judge is in session. 361 00:14:22,229 --> 00:14:23,931 What is the problem here? 362 00:14:23,964 --> 00:14:26,133 He put my stuff in Jell-O again! 363 00:14:26,166 --> 00:14:28,501 [Pam laughing] 364 00:14:28,535 --> 00:14:29,970 That's real professional. Thanks. 365 00:14:30,003 --> 00:14:31,538 This is the third time, and it wasn't funny 366 00:14:31,571 --> 00:14:32,906 the first two times either, Jim! 367 00:14:32,940 --> 00:14:34,141 It's okay here. 368 00:14:34,174 --> 00:14:36,509 Uh, but people sometimes take advantage 369 00:14:36,543 --> 00:14:38,011 because it's so relaxed. 370 00:14:38,045 --> 00:14:41,982 I'm a volunteer sheriff's deputy on the weekends. 371 00:14:42,015 --> 00:14:44,551 And you cannot screw around there. 372 00:14:44,584 --> 00:14:46,619 It's sort of one of the rules. 373 00:14:46,653 --> 00:14:47,620 [laughing] What is that? 374 00:14:47,654 --> 00:14:48,621 That's my stapler. 375 00:14:48,655 --> 00:14:50,557 No, no! Do not take it out. 376 00:14:50,590 --> 00:14:52,292 You have to eat it out of there, 377 00:14:52,325 --> 00:14:53,961 because there are starving people in the world, 378 00:14:53,994 --> 00:14:54,861 and, which I hate, 379 00:14:54,894 --> 00:14:57,097 and it it is a waste of that kind of food. 380 00:14:57,130 --> 00:14:58,398 You know what? You can be a witness. 381 00:14:58,431 --> 00:14:59,967 Can you reprimand him, please? 382 00:15:01,601 --> 00:15:02,936 How do you know it was me? 383 00:15:02,970 --> 00:15:03,803 (Dwight) It's always you. 384 00:15:03,836 --> 00:15:05,238 Are you gonna discipline him or not? 385 00:15:05,272 --> 00:15:07,174 Ooh, discipline, kinky! 386 00:15:07,207 --> 00:15:09,709 All right, here's the deal, you guys. 387 00:15:09,742 --> 00:15:12,512 Thing about a practical joke is that you have to know 388 00:15:12,545 --> 00:15:14,948 when to start as well as when to stop. 389 00:15:14,982 --> 00:15:15,983 And, yeah, 390 00:15:16,016 --> 00:15:18,418 Jim, now is the time 391 00:15:18,451 --> 00:15:21,154 to stop putting Dwight's personal effects 392 00:15:21,188 --> 00:15:23,656 into Jell-O. 393 00:15:23,690 --> 00:15:25,092 [clears throat] Okay. 394 00:15:25,125 --> 00:15:26,960 Dwight, I'm sorry, because... 395 00:15:26,994 --> 00:15:29,963 I have always been your biggest flan. 396 00:15:29,997 --> 00:15:31,031 [laughs] 397 00:15:31,064 --> 00:15:33,200 Ho ho ho, nice! 398 00:15:33,233 --> 00:15:34,968 That's the way it is around here. 399 00:15:35,002 --> 00:15:36,703 It just kind of goes round and round and round. 400 00:15:36,736 --> 00:15:39,006 You, uh, you should have put him in "custardy." 401 00:15:39,039 --> 00:15:40,974 Oh, hey! Yes! 402 00:15:41,008 --> 00:15:43,376 New guy! And he scores. 403 00:15:43,410 --> 00:15:44,511 Okay, that's great. 404 00:15:44,544 --> 00:15:46,479 I guess what I'm most concerned with 405 00:15:46,513 --> 00:15:49,116 is damage to company property. 406 00:15:49,149 --> 00:15:51,051 That's all. 407 00:15:54,487 --> 00:15:56,123 Pudding. 408 00:15:56,156 --> 00:15:57,690 Putting. 409 00:15:57,724 --> 00:16:01,661 I'm trying to think what other dessert to do. 410 00:16:01,694 --> 00:16:03,363 [laughs] 411 00:16:03,396 --> 00:16:05,065 Do you like going out 412 00:16:05,098 --> 00:16:07,000 at the end of the week for a drink? 413 00:16:07,034 --> 00:16:08,168 Yeah. 414 00:16:08,201 --> 00:16:10,203 Well, that's why we're all going out. 415 00:16:10,237 --> 00:16:11,571 So that we can have an end-of-the-week drink. 416 00:16:11,604 --> 00:16:12,672 So when are we going out? 417 00:16:12,705 --> 00:16:14,241 I don't know. Tonight, hopefully. 418 00:16:14,274 --> 00:16:15,408 Okay, yeah. 419 00:16:18,111 --> 00:16:19,079 Hey, man. 420 00:16:19,112 --> 00:16:20,080 Hey! What's going on? 421 00:16:20,113 --> 00:16:21,081 Hi, baby. Hey. 422 00:16:21,114 --> 00:16:23,116 Uh, Roy is my fiancé. 423 00:16:23,150 --> 00:16:26,053 We've been engaged about, um... 424 00:16:26,086 --> 00:16:27,220 about three years. 425 00:16:27,254 --> 00:16:30,057 And, uh, we were supposed to get married in September, 426 00:16:30,090 --> 00:16:33,326 but I think we're gonna get married in the spring. 427 00:16:33,360 --> 00:16:36,663 Do you mind if I go out for a drink with these guys? 428 00:16:36,696 --> 00:16:38,198 Uh, no, no, come on. 429 00:16:38,231 --> 00:16:40,200 Let's get out of here, go home. 430 00:16:40,233 --> 00:16:43,103 Okay, um, I'm gonna be a few minutes, though. 431 00:16:43,136 --> 00:16:45,272 It's only 20 past 5:00. 432 00:16:45,305 --> 00:16:47,140 I still have to do my faxes. 433 00:16:51,211 --> 00:16:54,047 You know what? You should come with us. 434 00:16:54,081 --> 00:16:55,048 Because, you know, we're all going out, 435 00:16:55,082 --> 00:16:57,117 and it could be a good chance for you to... 436 00:16:57,150 --> 00:16:59,086 see what people are like outside of the office. 437 00:16:59,119 --> 00:17:01,088 You know, I think it could be fun. 438 00:17:01,121 --> 00:17:02,155 No, it sounds good. 439 00:17:02,189 --> 00:17:03,290 Oh, no. 440 00:17:03,323 --> 00:17:04,524 Seriously, we gotta get going. 441 00:17:04,557 --> 00:17:06,159 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 442 00:17:14,701 --> 00:17:19,739 Um...what's in the-- what's in the bag? 443 00:17:19,772 --> 00:17:21,241 Just tell her I'll talk to her later. 444 00:17:21,274 --> 00:17:23,176 No, definitely. All right, dude, awesome. 445 00:17:23,210 --> 00:17:24,477 Will do. 446 00:17:27,780 --> 00:17:29,582 (Jim) Do I think 447 00:17:29,616 --> 00:17:32,352 I'll be invited to the wedding? 448 00:17:39,426 --> 00:17:42,762 So, uh, have you felt a vibe yet? 449 00:17:42,795 --> 00:17:44,464 We work hard, we play hard. 450 00:17:44,497 --> 00:17:46,666 Sometimes we play hard when we should be working hard. 451 00:17:46,699 --> 00:17:48,135 Right? 452 00:17:48,168 --> 00:17:51,338 Um, I guess the atmosphere that I've created here 453 00:17:51,371 --> 00:17:53,340 is that I'm a friend first 454 00:17:53,373 --> 00:17:55,242 and a boss second. 455 00:17:55,275 --> 00:17:56,643 Probably, uh-- [knock on door] 456 00:17:56,676 --> 00:17:57,777 Entertainer third. 457 00:17:57,810 --> 00:18:00,747 Just a second! Right? 458 00:18:00,780 --> 00:18:03,316 Oh, hey, do you, uh, 459 00:18:03,350 --> 00:18:05,285 do you like The Jamie Kennedy Experiment? 460 00:18:05,318 --> 00:18:06,886 Yeah. Punk'd and all that kind of stuff? 461 00:18:06,919 --> 00:18:08,355 Okay, um... 462 00:18:08,388 --> 00:18:09,589 you are gonna be my accomplice. 463 00:18:09,622 --> 00:18:10,890 Just go along with it, okay? 464 00:18:10,923 --> 00:18:12,425 All right. Just follow my lead. 465 00:18:12,459 --> 00:18:14,427 Don't pimp me, all right? Come in! 466 00:18:14,461 --> 00:18:17,430 So, uh, corporate just said that I don't want to-- You got a fax. 467 00:18:17,464 --> 00:18:18,865 Oh, thank you, Pam. 468 00:18:18,898 --> 00:18:21,268 Pam, can you come in here for a sec? 469 00:18:21,301 --> 00:18:22,502 Just have a seat. 470 00:18:22,535 --> 00:18:23,770 I was gonna call you in anyway. 471 00:18:23,803 --> 00:18:26,206 Um, you know Ryan. 472 00:18:26,239 --> 00:18:28,475 Um, as you know, 473 00:18:28,508 --> 00:18:30,610 there's going to be downsizing. 474 00:18:30,643 --> 00:18:35,548 And you have made my life so much easier 475 00:18:35,582 --> 00:18:39,919 in that I am going to have to let you go first. 476 00:18:39,952 --> 00:18:42,222 What? Why? 477 00:18:42,255 --> 00:18:43,923 Why? Well, theft. 478 00:18:43,956 --> 00:18:45,292 And stealing. 479 00:18:45,325 --> 00:18:46,293 Stealing? 480 00:18:46,326 --> 00:18:47,394 Mm-hmm. 481 00:18:47,427 --> 00:18:50,463 Um, what am I supposed to have stolen? 482 00:18:50,497 --> 00:18:52,165 Post-it notes. 483 00:18:52,199 --> 00:18:53,700 Post-it notes? Yeah. 484 00:18:53,733 --> 00:18:55,568 What are those worth, like, 50 cents? 485 00:18:55,602 --> 00:18:56,669 50 cents, yeah. 486 00:18:56,703 --> 00:18:59,272 You steal 1,000 Post-It notes at 50 cents apiece, 487 00:18:59,306 --> 00:19:02,642 and, you know, you've made a profit...margin. 488 00:19:02,675 --> 00:19:04,944 You know, gonna run us out of business, Pam. 489 00:19:04,977 --> 00:19:07,146 Are you serious? 490 00:19:08,281 --> 00:19:09,916 Yeah, I, um... 491 00:19:09,949 --> 00:19:12,752 Oh, my-- I can't believe this. 492 00:19:12,785 --> 00:19:15,655 I mean, I've never even stolen as much as a paper clip, 493 00:19:15,688 --> 00:19:17,957 and now you're firing me. 494 00:19:17,990 --> 00:19:20,327 And the best thing about it is that, uh, 495 00:19:20,360 --> 00:19:24,231 we're not gonna have to give you any severance pay. 496 00:19:24,264 --> 00:19:27,967 Because that is gross misconduct, and, uh... 497 00:19:28,000 --> 00:19:31,304 So just clean out your desk. I'm sorry. 498 00:19:37,844 --> 00:19:39,312 [sniffling] 499 00:19:48,020 --> 00:19:51,258 You've been "Xed," punk! 500 00:19:51,291 --> 00:19:52,725 Surprise! It's a joke! 501 00:19:52,759 --> 00:19:54,294 We were joking around! 502 00:19:54,327 --> 00:19:55,228 [laughs] See? 503 00:19:55,262 --> 00:19:56,796 Okay, he was in on it. 504 00:19:56,829 --> 00:19:57,997 He was my accomplice. 505 00:19:58,030 --> 00:20:01,601 And it was just kind of a morale booster thing. 506 00:20:01,634 --> 00:20:05,272 And we were showing the new guy around, kind of-- 507 00:20:05,305 --> 00:20:07,340 kind of giving him the feel of the place. 508 00:20:07,374 --> 00:20:09,676 So you sh-- 509 00:20:09,709 --> 00:20:11,978 God, you were-- We totally got you-- 510 00:20:12,011 --> 00:20:14,314 You're a jerk! 511 00:20:14,347 --> 00:20:15,648 Ah, I don't know about that. 512 00:20:31,531 --> 00:20:32,799 (Michael) What is the most 513 00:20:32,832 --> 00:20:34,901 important thing for a company? 514 00:20:34,934 --> 00:20:38,938 Is it the cash flow? Is it the inventory? 515 00:20:38,971 --> 00:20:40,973 Nuh-uh. 516 00:20:41,007 --> 00:20:43,276 It's the people. 517 00:20:43,310 --> 00:20:45,578 The people. 518 00:20:45,612 --> 00:20:46,979 My proudest moment here 519 00:20:47,013 --> 00:20:50,417 was not when I increased profits by 17%. 520 00:20:50,450 --> 00:20:52,919 Or when I cut expenses 521 00:20:52,952 --> 00:20:54,554 without losing a single employee. 522 00:20:54,587 --> 00:20:56,323 No, no, no, no, no. 523 00:20:56,356 --> 00:20:59,359 It was a young Guatemalan guy. 524 00:20:59,392 --> 00:21:02,295 First job in the country, barely spoke English. 525 00:21:02,329 --> 00:21:04,531 Came to me and said, 526 00:21:04,564 --> 00:21:07,033 [Spanish accent] "Mr. Scott, 527 00:21:07,066 --> 00:21:12,805 would you be the godfather of my child?" 528 00:21:12,839 --> 00:21:15,942 Wow. Wow. 529 00:21:15,975 --> 00:21:17,677 Wow. 530 00:21:21,013 --> 00:21:22,415 Didn't work out in the end. 531 00:21:22,449 --> 00:21:24,283 We had to let him go. He sucked. 532 00:21:28,588 --> 00:21:30,089 [sniffles] 533 00:21:30,122 --> 00:21:31,391 Hey. 534 00:21:31,424 --> 00:21:32,725 Hey. Hi. 535 00:21:32,759 --> 00:21:33,693 How are you? Good. 536 00:21:33,726 --> 00:21:36,429 I thought you were going out for a drink with-- 537 00:21:36,463 --> 00:21:37,897 Oh, no, no. 538 00:21:37,930 --> 00:21:40,467 Just going to, uh... 539 00:21:40,500 --> 00:21:42,001 How's your headache? 540 00:21:42,034 --> 00:21:43,336 It's better. Thanks. Good. 541 00:21:43,370 --> 00:21:45,071 Good, that's great. 542 00:21:45,104 --> 00:21:46,706 Is, uh-- Yeah? 543 00:21:46,739 --> 00:21:49,342 Um, are you, uh... 544 00:21:49,376 --> 00:21:50,510 Am I walking out? 545 00:21:50,543 --> 00:21:51,744 Yes. 546 00:21:51,778 --> 00:21:53,346 Yes. Do you wanna? 547 00:21:53,380 --> 00:21:55,348 Yeah. Great. 548 00:21:55,382 --> 00:21:56,949 Let me just-- [car horn honks] 549 00:21:56,983 --> 00:21:59,018 Oh, Roy. Yeah. 550 00:21:59,051 --> 00:22:00,453 Listen, have a nice weekend. 551 00:22:00,487 --> 00:22:02,755 Yeah, definitely. You too. 552 00:22:02,789 --> 00:22:04,491 Enjoy it. 553 00:22:07,394 --> 00:22:09,396 [door closes] 554 00:22:31,584 --> 00:22:34,587 Captioning by CaptionMax www.captionmax.com 37682

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