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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:02:04,166 --> 00:02:06,874 - Oh! - Oh! 2 00:02:06,960 --> 00:02:10,624 Come on, you promised to sit through the entire hockey game without being bored, 3 00:02:10,714 --> 00:02:12,125 and I'll sit through the Wagner opera next week. 4 00:02:12,215 --> 00:02:13,046 I know. 5 00:02:13,133 --> 00:02:15,671 - I already bought the earplugs. - Yeah, but with your eyesight... 6 00:02:15,761 --> 00:02:18,299 I'm surprised you can see the puck. 7 00:02:18,388 --> 00:02:21,472 Yea. Hurrah. 8 00:02:26,229 --> 00:02:29,097 - I can't wait to get into bed. - I know. 9 00:02:29,191 --> 00:02:30,932 There's a Bob Hope movie on television later. 10 00:02:31,026 --> 00:02:33,518 I know. Do you believe this guy in Indiana? 11 00:02:33,612 --> 00:02:36,525 Killed 12 victims, dismembered them and ate them. 12 00:02:36,615 --> 00:02:38,652 Really? Well, it's an alternative lifestyle. 13 00:02:38,742 --> 00:02:40,608 Yeah, I'll say. 14 00:02:48,960 --> 00:02:51,122 - Hold the elevator! - We're coming. 15 00:02:51,213 --> 00:02:53,705 Hold the elevator. Thank you. Thank you. 16 00:02:53,799 --> 00:02:59,011 Oh, I, uh... I see you at the gym sometime. 17 00:02:59,096 --> 00:03:01,338 - Oh, you do? - We live in the apartment down the hall. 18 00:03:01,431 --> 00:03:03,468 Oh, well, I go whenever I have the discipline. 19 00:03:03,558 --> 00:03:04,924 It's important to put that time in. 20 00:03:05,018 --> 00:03:07,351 - Does wonders. - Oh, yeah, I agree with you. 21 00:03:07,437 --> 00:03:11,056 - Exercising changed my life. - I prefer to atrophy. 22 00:03:11,149 --> 00:03:13,857 - I'm not a big exercise person. - We bought a treadmill last week. 23 00:03:13,944 --> 00:03:18,439 We had one, but we got rid of it, because it was taking up too much space. 24 00:03:18,532 --> 00:03:21,320 - You have to turn it on and get on it. - Hey, hey. 25 00:03:21,410 --> 00:03:24,494 It's so confusing with all of those buttons and computerized programs. 26 00:03:24,579 --> 00:03:26,571 - I'm just never going to get that. - Oh, I know. 27 00:03:26,665 --> 00:03:31,205 It's wonderful meeting you. I've seen you so many times in the hallway. 28 00:03:31,294 --> 00:03:34,037 - I wanted to say hello. - I know, isn't this funny? Well, anyway... 29 00:03:34,131 --> 00:03:36,043 - Good night! - Good night! 30 00:03:36,133 --> 00:03:39,422 - Such a lovely couple. Uh, hello! - Huh? 31 00:03:39,511 --> 00:03:43,004 Listen, why don't you come in for a second and have a drink with us? 32 00:03:43,098 --> 00:03:45,556 - Oh, oh, well, that'd be fine. - We'd love that. 33 00:03:45,642 --> 00:03:49,556 - She makes great Irish coffee. - There's a movie I wanna watch. 34 00:03:49,646 --> 00:03:51,933 I want you to give me a treadmill lesson. 35 00:03:52,023 --> 00:03:55,812 Oh, listen, if I can figure it out, then believe me, anybody can. 36 00:03:58,363 --> 00:04:01,401 - I don't know what I'm doing. - No, please, it's easy. 37 00:04:01,491 --> 00:04:04,108 Wonderful book they've given me. I'm at level five. 38 00:04:04,202 --> 00:04:06,694 What? You're that advanced? I only got to level two. 39 00:04:06,788 --> 00:04:08,575 I work out all the time. Look at these diagrams. 40 00:04:08,665 --> 00:04:11,032 - That's amazing. - Can't understand this. 41 00:04:11,126 --> 00:04:14,085 - Let me see. - Yeah, well, see this. 42 00:04:14,171 --> 00:04:17,710 Now let me show you a mint 1933 airmail. 43 00:04:17,799 --> 00:04:21,759 Very rare and very beautiful. Look at that. 44 00:04:21,845 --> 00:04:25,589 And this plate block is quite unique because it has a flaw in the engraving. 45 00:04:25,682 --> 00:04:28,470 - See if you can see it. - It's hard for me actually. 46 00:04:28,560 --> 00:04:30,677 Give you a little hint. Right down here in the corner. 47 00:04:30,771 --> 00:04:33,479 - Oh, that little tiny thing there? - Yeah. 48 00:04:33,565 --> 00:04:35,557 - That makes it quite valuable, you see. - Aha. 49 00:04:35,650 --> 00:04:38,609 And I just got a commemorative set that are going to be quite valuable. 50 00:04:38,695 --> 00:04:42,439 - Look at the color. All of these... - Listen, 51 00:04:42,532 --> 00:04:44,899 - we're probably keeping you up, right? - Oh, no, this is wonderful. 52 00:04:44,993 --> 00:04:47,110 - I should be going. Car... - What do you do, if I may ask? 53 00:04:47,204 --> 00:04:49,196 Me, I'm in book publishing. I work up at Harper's. 54 00:04:49,289 --> 00:04:50,325 - Are you really? - Yeah. 55 00:04:50,415 --> 00:04:53,123 - I own an old cinema. Having it redone. - Oh. 56 00:04:53,210 --> 00:04:56,453 Used to have a string of three, but business is not what it used to be. 57 00:04:56,546 --> 00:04:58,879 Look at these presidentials, look at the color work. 58 00:04:58,965 --> 00:05:00,456 Even the perforations are intact. 59 00:05:00,550 --> 00:05:02,507 Where's Carol? I should really be going. 60 00:05:02,594 --> 00:05:03,584 Oh, really? 61 00:05:03,678 --> 00:05:05,510 - Yeah, I mean... - Coffee's ready. 62 00:05:05,597 --> 00:05:07,714 - Oh, coffee. I forgot coffee. - Good. 63 00:05:07,808 --> 00:05:10,095 We can get back to this later. Come on in. 64 00:05:10,185 --> 00:05:14,600 Well, we never had any children, but it's easy to empathize. 65 00:05:14,689 --> 00:05:17,807 - What college does your son attend? - Brown! 66 00:05:17,901 --> 00:05:20,644 - Nice color. - That's funny. 67 00:05:20,737 --> 00:05:23,400 Paul never attended college. He's self-made. 68 00:05:23,490 --> 00:05:26,904 Always regretted it. I think knowledge is the second most important thing. 69 00:05:26,993 --> 00:05:29,952 First is health, then knowledge, then money. 70 00:05:31,456 --> 00:05:33,994 - It's amazing how time will just... - And do you work? 71 00:05:34,084 --> 00:05:37,168 Huh? Do I? Oh! Well, actually, 72 00:05:37,254 --> 00:05:41,214 I used to work at an ad agency, but that was many years ago. 73 00:05:41,299 --> 00:05:44,508 I've been seriously thinking of starting a little restaurant. 74 00:05:44,594 --> 00:05:45,630 Oh, really? 75 00:05:45,720 --> 00:05:48,838 Yeah, but, well, Larry, he's trying to talk me out of it. 76 00:05:48,932 --> 00:05:50,139 She's a great cook, really. 77 00:05:50,225 --> 00:05:52,558 Her duck and fennel omelet on a bed of scallops... 78 00:05:52,644 --> 00:05:54,886 in hollandaise sauce with truffles and sweetbreads will make you... 79 00:05:54,980 --> 00:05:57,973 snap into a fetal position and lay on your bed screaming for a month. 80 00:05:58,066 --> 00:05:59,273 He loves to tease me, 81 00:05:59,359 --> 00:06:02,193 but actually he really loves exotic food. 82 00:06:02,279 --> 00:06:04,862 My weakness is any rich dessert. Cream, butter. 83 00:06:04,948 --> 00:06:06,064 Oh, really? 84 00:06:06,157 --> 00:06:09,491 Listen, I'll fix you dessert that'll make your eyeballs roll up. 85 00:06:09,578 --> 00:06:11,865 You'll have to exercise a month to work it off. 86 00:06:11,955 --> 00:06:14,072 We're going to Le Cirque for our anniversary. 87 00:06:14,165 --> 00:06:15,201 No, really? 88 00:06:15,292 --> 00:06:17,249 - Yes, 28 years in November. - Really? 89 00:06:17,335 --> 00:06:19,372 What do you buy the woman who has everything? 90 00:06:19,462 --> 00:06:21,920 We already have twin cemetery plots. 91 00:06:22,007 --> 00:06:25,421 I always think a Bentley is in good taste. 92 00:06:25,510 --> 00:06:27,672 Or you can go the route that I went with her. 93 00:06:27,762 --> 00:06:30,095 On our 20th, I got her some very lovely handkerchiefs. 94 00:06:30,181 --> 00:06:32,218 Yeah, but, you know, they had my initials on them. 95 00:06:32,309 --> 00:06:34,392 It was very high class. I didn't even know her size. 96 00:06:37,272 --> 00:06:39,639 I'm going over. 97 00:06:40,984 --> 00:06:43,818 Jesus, couldn't you keep the conversation going longer? 98 00:06:43,904 --> 00:06:47,488 - I'm signaling you frantically. - I was trying to be neighborly. 99 00:06:47,574 --> 00:06:51,659 Neighborly? If this guy showed me his stamp collection one more time... 100 00:06:51,745 --> 00:06:55,079 My favorite thing in life is to look at canceled postage. 101 00:06:55,165 --> 00:06:57,157 Oh, come on, Larry. It was sweet. 102 00:06:57,250 --> 00:06:59,663 They're looking forward to their anniversary. 103 00:06:59,753 --> 00:07:02,712 Yeah, and I'm looking forward to seeing that Bob Hope movie. 104 00:07:02,797 --> 00:07:04,754 I don't know why they put it on so late. 105 00:07:04,841 --> 00:07:06,878 Do you think that's gonna happen to us? 106 00:07:06,968 --> 00:07:07,879 What? 107 00:07:07,969 --> 00:07:10,006 Well, that we'll become like them. 108 00:07:10,096 --> 00:07:13,180 Just another dull, aging couple with our little walks... 109 00:07:13,266 --> 00:07:16,430 - We are a dull, aging couple. - ...our TV, our lox and bagels... 110 00:07:16,519 --> 00:07:18,806 and our twin cemetery plots. 111 00:07:18,897 --> 00:07:22,811 No, we should be as lucky as them to be in their physical shape at their age. 112 00:07:22,901 --> 00:07:25,860 They look great. Did you see the dumbbells this guy lifts? 113 00:07:25,946 --> 00:07:27,562 If I lifted dumbbells like that, 114 00:07:27,656 --> 00:07:30,615 I would get a hernia the size of the San Andreas Fault. 115 00:07:30,700 --> 00:07:32,692 How often do you think they make love? 116 00:07:32,786 --> 00:07:36,700 Oh, you know, probably more than we do, in their shape. 117 00:07:36,790 --> 00:07:39,328 I'm sure as much as once a week. 118 00:07:39,417 --> 00:07:41,784 - Oh, I'm exhausted. - Larry? 119 00:07:41,878 --> 00:07:45,292 - What? - Do you still find me attractive? 120 00:07:45,382 --> 00:07:48,966 Of course. What kind of question is that? Of course I do. 121 00:07:49,052 --> 00:07:52,545 Yeah, but we're not turning into a pair of comfortable old shoes, are we? 122 00:07:52,639 --> 00:07:55,723 Never comfortable. I don't think you have to worry about that. 123 00:07:57,310 --> 00:07:59,051 How you guys doin'? 124 00:07:59,145 --> 00:08:01,011 - Fine. We're gonna get this one. - We're good. 125 00:08:01,106 --> 00:08:04,725 That's very nice. Are we gonna see you at Elaine's Thursday? 126 00:08:04,818 --> 00:08:07,652 Oh, no, Thursday's our Wagner opera. 127 00:08:07,737 --> 00:08:10,605 - Ted's coming to Elaine's with us. - Ted? How is Ted? 128 00:08:10,699 --> 00:08:13,316 - He seems to be doing well. - I don't think he's... 129 00:08:13,410 --> 00:08:15,652 - No, he's not doing well. - I think he's glad he's divorced. 130 00:08:15,745 --> 00:08:18,328 Come on, he's not doing well at all. He's not used to it. 131 00:08:19,249 --> 00:08:21,241 I think he looks, you know, like he's glad. 132 00:08:21,334 --> 00:08:23,326 What do you want to do? You gonna browse or... 133 00:08:23,420 --> 00:08:25,537 - We're gonna go to a movie. - We're gonna go see Double Indemnity. 134 00:08:25,630 --> 00:08:27,667 - Why don't you come with us? - What do you think? 135 00:08:27,757 --> 00:08:28,838 It starts in a little while. 136 00:08:28,925 --> 00:08:31,838 I'd have the police after her so fast it'd make her head spin. 137 00:08:31,928 --> 00:08:36,047 They'd put her through the ringer, and the things they would squeeze out. 138 00:08:36,141 --> 00:08:38,349 You haven'tgot a single thing to go on, Keyes. 139 00:08:38,435 --> 00:08:41,928 Oh, not too much. Just 26 years experience, all the percentage there is, 140 00:08:42,022 --> 00:08:44,685 and this hunk of concrete in my stomach. 141 00:08:44,774 --> 00:08:48,688 - God, that movie was great, wasn't it? - Yeah, it's one of my favorites. 142 00:08:48,778 --> 00:08:51,521 - I loved it. - They were all wonderful in the picture. 143 00:08:51,614 --> 00:08:54,527 Who can we fix Ted up with? There must be somebody in your office. 144 00:08:54,617 --> 00:08:56,199 - Ted? - Yeah. 145 00:08:56,286 --> 00:08:58,824 I don't know. I always thought Ted had a crush on you. 146 00:08:58,913 --> 00:09:01,496 - Me? - Yeah. Why are you so stunned? 147 00:09:01,583 --> 00:09:04,496 Please! I adore him, but he's like a girlfriend to me. 148 00:09:04,586 --> 00:09:06,373 Now he's divorced, you know. 149 00:09:06,463 --> 00:09:09,251 Do I detect a note of jealousy? 150 00:09:09,340 --> 00:09:11,582 I had to call 911. 151 00:09:11,676 --> 00:09:15,761 - So what's the trouble? - What's going on? 152 00:09:15,847 --> 00:09:19,306 She had a heart attack. She's dead. 153 00:09:19,392 --> 00:09:21,224 She's dead? 154 00:09:21,311 --> 00:09:23,394 They're giving Mr. House a sedative right now. 155 00:09:23,480 --> 00:09:26,018 He's running around like crazy. 156 00:09:26,107 --> 00:09:28,224 I called EMS and they got here as soon as they could. 157 00:09:28,318 --> 00:09:30,685 - But it was too late. - We just met them. 158 00:09:30,779 --> 00:09:32,441 Awful, just awful. 159 00:09:32,530 --> 00:09:35,273 - What happened? - Well, it's a classic coronary. 160 00:09:35,366 --> 00:09:38,234 - She just went like that. - Is there anything we can do? 161 00:09:38,328 --> 00:09:41,947 Be good neighbors. We've calmed him down. 162 00:09:42,040 --> 00:09:44,453 Th-Th-The first time we saw them was last night. 163 00:09:44,542 --> 00:09:47,580 - We just met them. We had coffee. - Such a nice lady. 164 00:09:47,670 --> 00:09:49,582 - Nice lady. - Sweet person. 165 00:09:51,674 --> 00:09:54,041 - God, okay. - You look wonderful. 166 00:09:54,135 --> 00:09:56,969 - Oh, hello. Hi, Mr. House. - Hi! 167 00:09:57,055 --> 00:09:59,047 - So sorry. - Thank you for those wonderful flowers. 168 00:09:59,140 --> 00:10:01,097 - Oh, that's... - It was quite nice of you. 169 00:10:01,184 --> 00:10:03,551 Anything we can do, anything you need, just tell us. 170 00:10:03,645 --> 00:10:06,604 Anything at all. It was just such a shock. 171 00:10:06,689 --> 00:10:10,683 It was just so sudden. She seemed so, well, healthy. 172 00:10:10,777 --> 00:10:13,485 - She had a heart condition. - She did? 173 00:10:13,571 --> 00:10:16,609 - She never mentioned it. - She wouldn't have. 174 00:10:16,699 --> 00:10:19,112 - No, right, well. - If there's anything we can do. 175 00:10:19,202 --> 00:10:21,194 - Yeah, anything. - If you need anything, if you're lonely. 176 00:10:21,287 --> 00:10:24,655 Very kind. You know, you owe me a wonderful French dessert. 177 00:10:24,749 --> 00:10:27,617 Oh, no, no, I haven't forgotten, believe me. I haven't forgotten. 178 00:10:27,710 --> 00:10:29,622 Have a nice time. You seem all gussied up. 179 00:10:29,712 --> 00:10:32,079 - We're going to the opera. - Oh, enjoy! 180 00:10:32,173 --> 00:10:33,835 - My favorite. - Good night. 181 00:10:33,925 --> 00:10:37,134 - Good night. - Come on, we're gonna be late. 182 00:10:46,563 --> 00:10:50,477 You know, I sit through the ice hockey game and you watch the whole opera. 183 00:10:50,567 --> 00:10:54,857 I can't listen to that much Wagner. I start to get the urge to conquer Poland. 184 00:10:57,991 --> 00:11:01,200 I think it's weird. One night she's having coffee 185 00:11:01,286 --> 00:11:03,369 and the next night they carry her out in a rubber bag? 186 00:11:03,454 --> 00:11:06,322 I know, and she did not look like she was ready to go. 187 00:11:06,416 --> 00:11:08,282 Maybe this guy killed her. 188 00:11:08,376 --> 00:11:10,743 Like he's got a young tootsie stashed somewhere. 189 00:11:10,837 --> 00:11:12,578 No, not this... You gotta see this guy. 190 00:11:12,672 --> 00:11:15,039 This guy gets his jollies from licking the back of postage stamps. 191 00:11:15,133 --> 00:11:16,294 He's a boring, old... 192 00:11:16,384 --> 00:11:19,127 I could see that, depending on whose picture is on the stamp. 193 00:11:19,220 --> 00:11:23,385 She never once mentioned that she had a heart condition. 194 00:11:23,474 --> 00:11:25,591 What is she gonna say? 195 00:11:25,685 --> 00:11:27,768 Hello, I'm Mrs. House, and I have a bad heart. 196 00:11:27,854 --> 00:11:29,095 She had no problem telling me 197 00:11:29,189 --> 00:11:31,101 about her hysterectomy in the first five minutes. 198 00:11:31,191 --> 00:11:35,151 It's much easier to talk about a hysterectomy than a heart condition. 199 00:11:35,236 --> 00:11:38,024 She liked eating high cholesterol desserts. Is that what you said? 200 00:11:38,114 --> 00:11:41,152 - So she had one too many. - No, no, she wasn't on a diet. 201 00:11:41,242 --> 00:11:44,030 - We discussed diets. - So she wasn't on a diet. 202 00:11:44,120 --> 00:11:46,908 This would be a really great way to kill somebody. 203 00:11:46,998 --> 00:11:49,536 - How? - You clog their arteries... 204 00:11:49,626 --> 00:11:54,462 with whipped cream, chocolate mousse, butter. 205 00:11:54,547 --> 00:11:57,290 - They go like that. - That's great. 206 00:11:57,383 --> 00:12:00,171 - Disgusting, but it's fatal. - I love it. 207 00:12:00,261 --> 00:12:01,468 Wouldn't that be great? 208 00:12:01,554 --> 00:12:03,466 I'd like to French pastry myself to death right now. 209 00:12:03,556 --> 00:12:05,513 - I'll help you. - I really would. 210 00:12:05,600 --> 00:12:08,468 In fact, I'd like another piece of pie right after this. Do I dare? 211 00:12:08,561 --> 00:12:11,395 Are you gonna start a restaurant? Are you serious about that? 212 00:12:11,481 --> 00:12:14,645 'Cause if you do, count me in. I wanna be part of that. 213 00:12:15,777 --> 00:12:17,734 - Really. - Really? 214 00:12:17,820 --> 00:12:20,028 No, I don't know. I mean, you serious? 215 00:12:20,114 --> 00:12:22,356 Yes! Oh, God, it'll be wonderful. 216 00:12:22,450 --> 00:12:24,191 What are you encouraging her for? 217 00:12:24,285 --> 00:12:27,119 - She's a great cook. - Well, thanks to you. 218 00:12:27,205 --> 00:12:30,323 It was his idea of cooking lessons. So, I mean... 219 00:12:30,416 --> 00:12:33,750 Yes, but a restaurant is a serious business. You can't take that lightly. 220 00:12:33,836 --> 00:12:36,704 - You can't be cavalier. - I'm not being cavalier, Sy. 221 00:12:36,798 --> 00:12:39,085 Do you know how time-consuming it is? 222 00:12:39,175 --> 00:12:41,132 - She'll be there every night. - Absolutely. 223 00:12:41,219 --> 00:12:43,427 - Look, look. - They steal from you. 224 00:12:43,513 --> 00:12:47,006 - But it's what I do. - She'll cook. She's a pro. 225 00:12:47,100 --> 00:12:51,185 She'll be cooking in the kitchen. I'll be at the front, running the joint. 226 00:12:51,271 --> 00:12:54,059 - Like Rick in Casablanca. - Right. 227 00:12:54,148 --> 00:12:58,358 - I'm serious. It's not like a hobby. - I'll be the first customer. 228 00:12:58,444 --> 00:13:02,529 I was thinking of fixing Ted up with Helen Dubin. 229 00:13:02,615 --> 00:13:06,154 Then I figured they would just get into an argument over penis envy or something. 230 00:13:06,244 --> 00:13:09,408 - Oh. - Poor guy suffers from it so. 231 00:13:09,497 --> 00:13:12,160 Didn't he seem a little too cheerful? 232 00:13:12,250 --> 00:13:14,742 No, he seemed like his regular self to me, but, uh, 233 00:13:14,836 --> 00:13:16,873 when you brought up the notion of the restaurant, 234 00:13:16,963 --> 00:13:20,297 - the guy lit up like Mr. Glowworm. - The restaurant? 235 00:13:20,383 --> 00:13:24,673 Yeah, he sees himself as Humphrey Bogart in Casablanca. 236 00:13:24,762 --> 00:13:27,095 - I see him more as Peter Lorre... - No, no, no, 237 00:13:27,181 --> 00:13:29,798 - ...wringing his hands. - I mean, Mr. House. 238 00:13:29,892 --> 00:13:32,305 Didn't he seem a little too cheerful to you? 239 00:13:32,395 --> 00:13:35,058 - Mr. House, our next-door widower? - Yes, yes. 240 00:13:35,148 --> 00:13:40,314 He seemed too composed for a man whose wife just died, don't you think? 241 00:13:40,403 --> 00:13:43,737 Jesus, what do you want the guy to do, walk down the street sobbing hysterically? 242 00:13:43,823 --> 00:13:45,155 I don't know. All I know is, 243 00:13:45,241 --> 00:13:48,655 they were supposedly looking forward to their anniversary. 244 00:13:48,745 --> 00:13:53,410 If I suddenly dropped dead, wouldn't you sob for months or years? 245 00:13:53,499 --> 00:13:56,242 Don't make those kind of jokes, okay? I don't like those remarks. 246 00:13:56,336 --> 00:13:59,420 Meanwhile, I'm the guy who needs a physical checkup. 247 00:13:59,505 --> 00:14:04,091 I don't know. To me, he seemed just a little too perky. 248 00:14:04,177 --> 00:14:07,136 Now, suddenly, he wants his French desserts... 249 00:14:07,221 --> 00:14:09,383 and "Have a nice time at the opera." 250 00:14:09,474 --> 00:14:11,932 And, my God, "You're certainly dressed up." 251 00:14:12,018 --> 00:14:14,681 - This guy should be a wreck. - Right. 252 00:14:14,771 --> 00:14:19,357 Meanwhile, I can't get the Flying Dutchman theme out of my mind. 253 00:14:19,442 --> 00:14:22,059 Remind me tomorrow to buy up all the Wagner records in town 254 00:14:22,153 --> 00:14:23,894 and rent a chain saw. 255 00:14:27,241 --> 00:14:30,359 - Helen Dubin's wrong for Ted. - Yeah? 256 00:14:30,453 --> 00:14:31,694 She's too mousey. 257 00:14:31,788 --> 00:14:34,280 He's a little mousey too. They can have rodent time together. 258 00:14:34,374 --> 00:14:36,240 They can eat cheese together. 259 00:14:36,334 --> 00:14:39,122 Oh, Christ! 260 00:14:41,297 --> 00:14:46,588 Hello? Yes, yes, yes, of course you woke us. 261 00:14:46,677 --> 00:14:50,591 Not everybody is up at 1:00 in the morning watching the porn channel. 262 00:14:50,681 --> 00:14:53,014 - I'll put her on. - Who is it? 263 00:14:53,101 --> 00:14:56,970 - Ted, for you. - Oh! Ted, hi. 264 00:14:57,063 --> 00:15:00,727 I figured out how he killed her, made it look like a coronary. 265 00:15:00,817 --> 00:15:03,025 He gagged her and tied her to the treadmill, 266 00:15:03,111 --> 00:15:06,604 and then, he turned the exercise program up to Olympic levels. 267 00:15:06,697 --> 00:15:10,941 No, I... No. 268 00:15:11,035 --> 00:15:15,154 I just think this guy is too perky. 269 00:15:15,248 --> 00:15:18,741 He's not acting like a man whose beloved of 28 years... 270 00:15:18,835 --> 00:15:21,498 - died just a few days ago. - Jesus, are you onto that? 271 00:15:21,587 --> 00:15:23,795 - My God, I thought you were just joking. - Yeah. I know. 272 00:15:23,881 --> 00:15:25,338 Let me speak to him. 273 00:15:25,425 --> 00:15:28,088 What? Oh, just a second, here's Larr... 274 00:15:28,177 --> 00:15:31,090 Hey, listen. She was not murdered. 275 00:15:31,180 --> 00:15:33,092 She had a heart attack. It was a coronary. 276 00:15:33,182 --> 00:15:35,595 There was a doctor there. He said, "He's an old man." 277 00:15:35,685 --> 00:15:38,769 - How do you know he's a real doctor? - I'm not going to touch that. 278 00:15:38,855 --> 00:15:40,938 I'm tired. I want to go to sleep. 279 00:15:41,023 --> 00:15:43,310 Wait, wait, wait a minute. Put Carol back on. 280 00:15:43,401 --> 00:15:45,142 I called about something else. 281 00:15:46,362 --> 00:15:49,480 Listen, I know a great location for a restaurant. 282 00:15:51,159 --> 00:15:53,367 Huh? Look at this. 283 00:15:53,453 --> 00:15:56,787 - Isn't this great? These walls. - Well, it's dark. 284 00:15:56,873 --> 00:15:59,331 - It's like you have to go through a cave. - Oh, I see. 285 00:15:59,417 --> 00:16:01,955 - Then, you come out to this. - Look at this, though. 286 00:16:02,044 --> 00:16:04,627 - Huh? Isn't it great? - It's really so beautiful. 287 00:16:04,714 --> 00:16:07,297 But it's kind of out of the way for a restaurant, isn't it? 288 00:16:07,383 --> 00:16:09,466 - No, no, that's just the appeal. - Uh-huh. 289 00:16:09,552 --> 00:16:12,920 Because it's so romantic tucked away back in here. 290 00:16:13,014 --> 00:16:14,255 You don't want street trade. 291 00:16:14,348 --> 00:16:17,307 You want a little out-of-the-way spot that people hear about... 292 00:16:17,393 --> 00:16:20,852 and lovers go to, takes months to get a reservation, very few tables. 293 00:16:20,938 --> 00:16:22,349 You've really thought this out. 294 00:16:22,440 --> 00:16:26,024 I used to come here all the time with Julie when we were married. 295 00:16:26,110 --> 00:16:29,649 Used to walk around here. Really beautiful at night. It's gorgeous. 296 00:16:29,739 --> 00:16:30,729 It's beautiful. 297 00:16:30,823 --> 00:16:32,780 I used to think, what am I doing here with Julie? 298 00:16:32,867 --> 00:16:36,281 We don't love each other anymore. Made the moment doubly poignant. 299 00:16:39,248 --> 00:16:41,205 - Hi, how are you? - Hi, how are you? 300 00:16:41,292 --> 00:16:43,659 - Oh, my. - These are my floating islands. 301 00:16:43,753 --> 00:16:46,211 - I hope you like meringue. - I love it. Come on in. 302 00:16:46,297 --> 00:16:48,710 - Well, um... - This is unbelievable. 303 00:16:48,799 --> 00:16:51,633 - Did you do it? - I did do it. 304 00:16:51,719 --> 00:16:54,678 - This has got... This is vanilla sauce here. - Come on in. 305 00:16:54,764 --> 00:16:56,471 I put little chocolate truffles. Do you like ch... 306 00:16:56,557 --> 00:16:58,640 - Would you share it with me? - She made these just for you. 307 00:16:58,726 --> 00:17:01,013 - No, it's too much for one. - There's only half a dozen. 308 00:17:01,103 --> 00:17:03,345 - I'll make some coffee. Please. - I'll make the coffee. 309 00:17:03,439 --> 00:17:06,352 - You've done so much. - I insist. Sit down, relax. 310 00:17:06,442 --> 00:17:08,559 Enjoy yourself. You've been through enough. 311 00:17:08,653 --> 00:17:11,942 She worked on those for... How you holding up? 312 00:17:12,031 --> 00:17:15,274 Oh, I don't know. I was thinking after a while... 313 00:17:15,368 --> 00:17:18,327 I'd get away from here, this place and all its memories. 314 00:17:18,412 --> 00:17:22,372 - So, you have someone to go with or... - I have a brother in Florida. 315 00:17:22,458 --> 00:17:24,575 - Hoping he can get away for a while. - Good, it's a good idea. 316 00:17:24,669 --> 00:17:26,911 - Do you like snorkeling? - Snorkeling? No. I get nervous... 317 00:17:27,004 --> 00:17:29,291 when brightly colored fish are staring at me face-to-face. 318 00:17:29,382 --> 00:17:31,715 Hey, I've got some stamps I wanted to show you. 319 00:17:31,801 --> 00:17:33,292 Oh, stamps. Wow. 320 00:17:33,386 --> 00:17:35,002 Look at these. 321 00:17:37,723 --> 00:17:40,010 Hmm. Okay. 322 00:17:51,862 --> 00:17:53,569 Hmm? 323 00:18:21,058 --> 00:18:23,641 This is really delicious. You are an artist. 324 00:18:23,728 --> 00:18:25,435 Well, thanks very much. 325 00:18:25,521 --> 00:18:29,561 Mmm. Was it a large, uh, funeral? 326 00:18:29,650 --> 00:18:32,939 Oh, no. We had very few friends, no family. 327 00:18:33,029 --> 00:18:37,239 Just a simple affair, huh? Well, they're the best, aren't they? 328 00:18:37,325 --> 00:18:39,863 - Yeah. - I guess. Then you're laid to rest and... 329 00:18:41,579 --> 00:18:43,161 You know, I was just... Where... 330 00:18:43,247 --> 00:18:45,830 Uh, where are the twin cemetery plots? 331 00:18:45,916 --> 00:18:49,205 'Cause we were thinking that that was just such a romantic idea. 332 00:18:49,295 --> 00:18:51,662 Weren't we, Larry? You know, Larry? 333 00:18:51,756 --> 00:18:54,965 Remember when we were talking about the twin cemetery plots... 334 00:18:55,051 --> 00:18:57,043 and, you know, how kind of romantic that is? 335 00:18:57,136 --> 00:19:00,174 - Remember? - Yes, yes! We were. 336 00:19:00,264 --> 00:19:04,178 Spending eternity with the beloved. I sound like one of those guys now. 337 00:19:04,268 --> 00:19:07,727 - Yeah. - But I was just wondering, 338 00:19:07,813 --> 00:19:12,308 - where is the cemetery? - Oh, it's, uh, in, uh, Nyack. 339 00:19:12,401 --> 00:19:14,688 We used to summer there occasionally. 340 00:19:16,572 --> 00:19:19,064 What's all that stuff about twin cemetery plots? 341 00:19:19,158 --> 00:19:21,696 - Listen, Larry. - We never discussed it at all. 342 00:19:21,786 --> 00:19:24,494 I knew that you were trying to tell me something, so I picked up on it quickly. 343 00:19:24,580 --> 00:19:27,948 I was in the kitchen, okay? I was making the coffee? 344 00:19:28,042 --> 00:19:31,911 There were no beans. So, I was looking in his cupboards just to see. 345 00:19:32,004 --> 00:19:34,462 And I came across this urn! Okay? 346 00:19:34,548 --> 00:19:37,666 I opened it and there were ashes in it. 347 00:19:37,760 --> 00:19:40,047 Ashes? Funeral ashes? Did you wash your hands? 348 00:19:40,137 --> 00:19:43,380 - Larry, he had her cremated. - How'd you know it was her? 349 00:19:43,474 --> 00:19:46,308 They're ashes. What, did they resemble Mrs. House? 350 00:19:46,394 --> 00:19:49,057 - Who else would it be? - Anybody. It could be an associate, 351 00:19:49,146 --> 00:19:51,354 - an old relative, his accountant. - Uh-huh. Oh. 352 00:19:51,440 --> 00:19:54,558 - His cat. Who knows? - Right, right, hidden, huh? Hidden away. 353 00:19:54,652 --> 00:19:56,985 What do you mean? The guy didn't do anything. 354 00:19:57,071 --> 00:19:59,905 Look, Larry, all I know is, he lied, okay? 355 00:19:59,990 --> 00:20:03,950 - He lied! - Look, maybe he's embarrassed. 356 00:20:04,036 --> 00:20:06,619 Maybe he didn't want to spend eternity next to the beloved. 357 00:20:06,706 --> 00:20:10,290 So he told us that or, you know, what's the difference? 358 00:20:11,377 --> 00:20:13,835 - Who are you calling? - Ted! 359 00:20:13,921 --> 00:20:17,164 Oh, Jesus. Leave the guy alone. 360 00:20:17,258 --> 00:20:18,874 You know, he's a poor widower. 361 00:20:18,968 --> 00:20:22,211 He wants to go on a vacation or something. 362 00:20:22,304 --> 00:20:24,796 Yeah, where? Oh, I know where. 363 00:20:24,890 --> 00:20:27,883 - Snorkeling, right? - So what? Different strokes. 364 00:20:27,977 --> 00:20:31,721 He has fun sitting at the bottom of the water face-to-face with squid. 365 00:20:31,814 --> 00:20:33,806 Oh, I know, what about this? 366 00:20:33,899 --> 00:20:36,607 What if they had a big insurance policy or something like that? 367 00:20:36,694 --> 00:20:39,402 - Too much Double Indemnity. - Uh-huh. 368 00:20:39,488 --> 00:20:42,731 Hi! Yeah, hi, it's me. 369 00:20:42,825 --> 00:20:46,159 Listen, we were just in our neighbor's apartment, right? 370 00:20:46,245 --> 00:20:49,909 Yeah, and get this. I came across an urn with ashes in it. 371 00:20:49,999 --> 00:20:53,163 Only, he says he had his wife buried. 372 00:20:53,669 --> 00:20:57,333 That's what you do if you don't want an autopsy. 373 00:20:57,423 --> 00:21:00,291 If you don't want something discovered, you know, like poison. 374 00:21:00,384 --> 00:21:02,751 Mmm, right. 375 00:21:02,845 --> 00:21:04,837 They'd have detected poison, wouldn't they? 376 00:21:04,930 --> 00:21:08,674 I don't know. There're a lot of different kinds of exotic poisons, you know? 377 00:21:08,768 --> 00:21:11,010 Yeah, but why would he... why would he be lying? 378 00:21:11,103 --> 00:21:12,719 Why would he lie at all? 379 00:21:12,813 --> 00:21:15,430 You're up to poisons. You guys are slipping into a mad obsession. 380 00:21:15,524 --> 00:21:18,813 Oh, would you do that? That'd be great, 'cause I'm not good at that kind of thing. 381 00:21:18,903 --> 00:21:22,613 Okay? All right. Well, I'll talk to you later. Okay, bye. 382 00:21:23,824 --> 00:21:25,781 Let's go to bed. Can we go to bed now? 383 00:21:25,868 --> 00:21:28,030 - Hey, I'm not tired. - What do you mean, you're not tired? 384 00:21:28,120 --> 00:21:30,157 Ted's gonna check with the funeral home tomorrow. 385 00:21:30,247 --> 00:21:31,613 Great. 386 00:21:31,707 --> 00:21:33,869 I don't understand why you're not more fascinated with this. 387 00:21:33,959 --> 00:21:36,201 We could be living next door to a murderer. 388 00:21:36,295 --> 00:21:38,207 - New York is a melting pot. - Uh-huh. 389 00:21:38,297 --> 00:21:39,788 I'm used to it. 390 00:22:23,384 --> 00:22:25,046 Oh, my God. 391 00:22:25,928 --> 00:22:28,011 Hey, are you okay? 392 00:22:28,097 --> 00:22:30,510 Larry. Larry, I heard a noise. 393 00:22:30,599 --> 00:22:33,467 I heard a noise in the hallway, so I just, you know, I looked. 394 00:22:33,561 --> 00:22:35,894 I think Mr. House was getting on the elevator. 395 00:22:35,980 --> 00:22:37,061 Yeah, you sure? 396 00:22:37,147 --> 00:22:40,265 Yeah, I'm... I'm almost certain that it was him. 397 00:22:40,359 --> 00:22:44,194 So what? So what? It's not a crime. He can get on the elevator. 398 00:22:44,280 --> 00:22:46,363 I know, but who would it be at 1:30 in the morning? 399 00:22:46,448 --> 00:22:48,940 I was in a deep sleep. What's the difference? 400 00:22:49,034 --> 00:22:52,243 You know how we complain about living on the geriatric floor. 401 00:22:52,329 --> 00:22:54,241 - Do you know what I'm saying? - Oh, right, so it was Mr. House. 402 00:22:54,331 --> 00:22:56,368 So he got on the elevator. It's not a felony. 403 00:22:56,458 --> 00:22:58,620 The guy pays rent. He's entitled. 404 00:23:00,087 --> 00:23:02,830 Can you go back to bed? This is crazy. 405 00:23:02,923 --> 00:23:05,085 You woke me out of a deep sleep. I gotta get up early tomorrow. 406 00:23:05,175 --> 00:23:06,666 I know what I'm going to do. 407 00:23:07,970 --> 00:23:09,006 I'm gonna ring him up. 408 00:23:09,096 --> 00:23:11,088 I'm gonna ring his apartment. I'm gonna see if he's home. 409 00:23:11,181 --> 00:23:14,299 - You're gonna ring Mr. House now? - Yes, this is really... 410 00:23:14,393 --> 00:23:17,056 Don't ring Mr... What are you doing? No. 411 00:23:17,146 --> 00:23:20,059 - Larry, don't! - Don't ring Mr. House. This is a widower. 412 00:23:20,149 --> 00:23:21,390 - Leave the poor guy alone. - Shh! 413 00:23:21,483 --> 00:23:22,849 You're crazy. 414 00:23:22,943 --> 00:23:25,902 Stop it. So you saw him go out. It's not a crime. 415 00:23:25,988 --> 00:23:27,354 Two rings. He's not there yet. 416 00:23:27,448 --> 00:23:28,984 - Give me this. - What are you doing? 417 00:23:29,074 --> 00:23:30,610 If you want to find out if somebody left, call downstairs. 418 00:23:30,701 --> 00:23:32,658 - Call the person at the door. - All right, I'll call him. 419 00:23:32,745 --> 00:23:34,236 - But keep ringing. - Ask if someone went out. 420 00:23:34,330 --> 00:23:36,743 Yeah, sure, I'm gonna keep ringing, you got it. 421 00:23:36,832 --> 00:23:39,074 - This is insane. What's gotten into you? - What is he doing? 422 00:23:39,168 --> 00:23:41,125 Where is this guy at 1:30 in the morning? 423 00:23:41,211 --> 00:23:44,079 It's none of your business. He can go anyplace he wants. 424 00:23:45,382 --> 00:23:48,750 Hello? Yes, hello, this is Mrs. Lipton. 425 00:23:48,844 --> 00:23:51,587 Yes. Did anybody just leave the building? I was just... 426 00:23:53,015 --> 00:23:56,429 You sure? You sure no one... No. Okay. All right. 427 00:23:56,518 --> 00:23:59,226 Yes! Thank you. 428 00:23:59,313 --> 00:24:01,145 - Okay, are you happy? - I don't believe this. I don't get it. 429 00:24:01,231 --> 00:24:04,065 Now, can we go back to bed? For crying out loud, it's no big deal. 430 00:24:04,151 --> 00:24:05,892 You're making a mystery where nothing exists. 431 00:24:05,986 --> 00:24:08,945 Let me think about this. Okay, I got it. No, wait, listen to me. 432 00:24:09,031 --> 00:24:11,398 Larry, listen. 433 00:24:13,410 --> 00:24:15,447 - He got on the elevator... - You know, I'm gonna... 434 00:24:15,537 --> 00:24:17,324 - No, no, listen to this. - I'm gonna go to sleep. 435 00:24:17,414 --> 00:24:19,576 I don't wanna be standing here in the middle of the night. 436 00:24:19,667 --> 00:24:22,626 He got on the elevator, and he took it to the basement. 437 00:24:22,711 --> 00:24:25,670 Oh, great! Great, so what? Now what do ya got? 438 00:24:25,756 --> 00:24:28,590 He has a car, right? He's got the garage door key. He opened... 439 00:24:28,676 --> 00:24:30,963 So what? So what? 440 00:24:31,053 --> 00:24:33,511 - What do you mean, "So what?" - So the next-door neighbor... 441 00:24:33,597 --> 00:24:36,180 went out in the middle of the night, took his car, so he went someplace. 442 00:24:36,266 --> 00:24:41,227 - So I'm right, though. I mean, I'm right. - So you're right. So big deal. 443 00:24:41,313 --> 00:24:43,976 But this kind of right is going to put us in the toilet. 444 00:24:44,066 --> 00:24:46,649 You're suspicious. It says more about your mind than about him. 445 00:24:46,735 --> 00:24:48,818 - What about your rigidity? - Get into bed. 446 00:24:48,904 --> 00:24:52,318 - How about that point? - What's wrong with you? Jesus. 447 00:25:06,088 --> 00:25:07,078 Hi! 448 00:25:16,682 --> 00:25:20,050 Jack? Jack, do you think you could come upstairs today? 449 00:25:20,144 --> 00:25:22,511 - 'Cause I got a leak in the kitchen. - Well, yeah. 450 00:25:22,604 --> 00:25:23,594 - You can? - Sure. 451 00:25:23,689 --> 00:25:25,100 It will be this afternoon, right? 452 00:25:25,190 --> 00:25:27,398 - You're not gonna... Now? - I'll be back in about a minute. 453 00:25:27,484 --> 00:25:29,476 - In a minute? - Just wait a second. I'll be right back. 454 00:25:29,570 --> 00:25:31,607 Yeah, okay, all right. Aye, aye, aye. 455 00:25:35,784 --> 00:25:37,320 Oh, God. 456 00:27:51,420 --> 00:27:52,831 Hello? 457 00:27:52,921 --> 00:27:56,540 Ted, I'm in his apartment. 458 00:27:59,970 --> 00:28:03,304 The urn is missing. It's gone. 459 00:28:03,390 --> 00:28:06,724 Yeah, I think it might have been. He had this satchel last night. 460 00:28:06,810 --> 00:28:07,846 He was carrying this bag 461 00:28:07,936 --> 00:28:10,053 and I think that might have been what he had in the satchel. 462 00:28:10,147 --> 00:28:13,185 Listen, I'd get out of there right away, if I were you. 463 00:28:13,275 --> 00:28:16,518 No, no, go. We'll talk more from your apartment. 464 00:28:16,612 --> 00:28:19,650 He's not going snorkeling with his brother. 465 00:28:19,740 --> 00:28:22,073 He's got two tickets to Paris, 466 00:28:22,159 --> 00:28:24,742 and he's got reservations at the Georges Cinq Hotel 467 00:28:24,828 --> 00:28:27,036 with a woman named Helen Moss. 468 00:28:27,122 --> 00:28:29,330 Oh, hi, how are you? 469 00:28:29,416 --> 00:28:30,952 - Good morning. How are you? - Good. 470 00:28:31,043 --> 00:28:32,875 You get the notice on the maintenance increase? 471 00:28:32,961 --> 00:28:34,247 No, when did that happen? 472 00:28:34,338 --> 00:28:37,206 I'm gonna look around, see what else I can dig up here. 473 00:28:37,299 --> 00:28:41,964 Yeah. I'm telling you, this is just... I... I'm just dizzy with freedom. 474 00:28:42,054 --> 00:28:45,092 This is just... This is the craziest thing I've ever done. 475 00:28:45,182 --> 00:28:48,892 Yes, it's crazy. But soon we'll be too old to do anything crazy. 476 00:28:48,977 --> 00:28:50,969 Go, leave, leave, leave. 477 00:30:05,679 --> 00:30:07,966 Hello? 478 00:30:08,056 --> 00:30:09,547 Oh, hi, yeah. 479 00:30:10,559 --> 00:30:13,597 I know, I... Yes, I miss you too. 480 00:30:14,896 --> 00:30:16,637 I did. I made all the arrangements. 481 00:30:19,067 --> 00:30:22,401 Yeah, look, I... Okay, I have to run. 482 00:30:22,487 --> 00:30:23,978 But I'll see you later, okay? 483 00:30:25,407 --> 00:30:26,443 Okay. 484 00:30:41,798 --> 00:30:43,255 Extension Five. 485 00:30:44,926 --> 00:30:49,170 Keep ringing, would you please? 'Cause I just talked to her. 486 00:30:50,807 --> 00:30:51,797 What? 487 00:30:52,684 --> 00:30:54,300 Okay. 488 00:30:54,394 --> 00:30:58,559 Uh, would you tell her... Yes, tell her that Tom called. 489 00:30:59,399 --> 00:31:02,267 Tom! Thank you. 490 00:31:16,917 --> 00:31:18,874 So I thought your rewrites were great. 491 00:31:18,960 --> 00:31:21,418 I really think you helped your book, you know? 492 00:31:21,505 --> 00:31:24,339 - It's dense a little bit... - I don't want it to be too transparent. 493 00:31:24,424 --> 00:31:26,916 That's something you're never gonna have to worry about. 494 00:31:27,010 --> 00:31:30,503 This book makes Finnegan's Wake look like airplane reading. But it's long. 495 00:31:30,597 --> 00:31:32,384 You know, you're the only editor in the world... 496 00:31:32,474 --> 00:31:35,387 I'll take suggestions from, but even you shouldn't push it. 497 00:31:35,477 --> 00:31:39,312 I'm not pushing. I think the book is great, absolutely great, you know. 498 00:31:39,398 --> 00:31:41,890 How much, how much of Dorothy is you? As I was reading it... 499 00:31:41,983 --> 00:31:45,647 I kept thinking, how much did you base it on your own life? 500 00:31:45,737 --> 00:31:48,901 - Well, I was a waitress. - Mm-hmm. 501 00:31:48,990 --> 00:31:51,949 Um, I lived with a poet. I was a film critic. 502 00:31:52,035 --> 00:31:54,027 Right, but not a blackjack dealer, right? 503 00:31:54,121 --> 00:31:57,080 No, but I put myself through school playing poker. 504 00:31:57,165 --> 00:32:00,875 - Oh, really? Do you still play? - No, but I still know how. 505 00:32:00,961 --> 00:32:03,749 - Yes. Are you good? - Yeah. 506 00:32:03,839 --> 00:32:05,876 Because maybe you could give me some pointers. 507 00:32:05,966 --> 00:32:08,424 I could turn your game around in two hours. 508 00:32:08,510 --> 00:32:11,048 Could ya? That's great. 509 00:32:11,138 --> 00:32:14,131 You know, you're... You have all these skills. 510 00:32:14,224 --> 00:32:16,932 You're beautiful, and you can write so well. 511 00:32:17,018 --> 00:32:19,931 Now it turns out you play poker. This is too good to be true. 512 00:32:20,021 --> 00:32:22,638 - I wouldn't say beautiful. - Oh, I would. 513 00:32:22,732 --> 00:32:25,816 But I do have tremendous sex appeal. 514 00:32:25,902 --> 00:32:27,518 Okay. 515 00:32:27,612 --> 00:32:31,947 You sold me. A- A-Are you seeing anybody? 516 00:32:32,033 --> 00:32:34,901 No, don't let my confidence fool you. It's a facade. 517 00:32:34,995 --> 00:32:36,702 Why do you ask? 518 00:32:36,788 --> 00:32:39,121 Because I have a friend who became single recently, 519 00:32:39,207 --> 00:32:41,824 and I know he would get a big kick out of you. 520 00:32:41,918 --> 00:32:45,832 Well. So when do you want your poker lessons? 521 00:32:45,922 --> 00:32:48,881 Uh, next week. I could take you to lunch. 522 00:32:48,967 --> 00:32:51,801 We could, uh, put you on my expense account. 523 00:32:51,887 --> 00:32:55,801 You could teach me when to bet and when to fold. 524 00:32:55,891 --> 00:32:58,133 How about a cheeseburger right now? 525 00:32:58,226 --> 00:33:01,765 Now? That's a possibility. You know, we could do this... 526 00:33:01,855 --> 00:33:02,936 Hello? 527 00:33:04,441 --> 00:33:06,103 Yes? 528 00:33:08,111 --> 00:33:10,273 Where are you? 529 00:33:10,363 --> 00:33:12,025 Is everything okay? 530 00:33:13,158 --> 00:33:16,742 Really? No, I could. Sure. 531 00:33:16,828 --> 00:33:21,994 I could. Yeah. I need, I need, you know, five minutes or so. 532 00:33:22,083 --> 00:33:26,123 Okay. Yes, yes, I know where it is. Okay. Hold on. 533 00:33:26,213 --> 00:33:29,422 I can't do it. I have to... My wife... I have a little thing I have to do. 534 00:33:29,508 --> 00:33:32,501 I'll do the cheeseburger with ya next week or something. 535 00:33:32,594 --> 00:33:34,210 Story of my life. 536 00:33:35,889 --> 00:33:38,848 What do you mean you snuck into his apartment? Are you nuts? 537 00:33:38,934 --> 00:33:40,721 Stop being such a fuddy-dud. 538 00:33:40,810 --> 00:33:42,802 - A fuddy-dud? What are you talking about? - Yeah. 539 00:33:42,896 --> 00:33:47,357 That's a crime. You can't do that. That's burglary. Breaking and entering. 540 00:33:47,442 --> 00:33:50,025 What has gotten into you lately, for crying out loud? 541 00:33:50,111 --> 00:33:52,854 - Save a little craziness for menopause. - It was a cinch. 542 00:33:52,948 --> 00:33:56,032 - I took the key, and I just let myself in. - Look, I don't wanna... 543 00:33:56,117 --> 00:33:59,110 You'll wind up rooming with John Gotti. You can't do that. 544 00:33:59,204 --> 00:34:02,868 You can't just steal the key and go into somebody's apartment. 545 00:34:02,958 --> 00:34:05,826 Listen, he's not going snorkeling with his brother, okay? 546 00:34:05,919 --> 00:34:07,956 I don't wanna know. I don't wanna be an accessory. 547 00:34:08,046 --> 00:34:11,005 He's going to Paris to a fancy hotel with a woman named Helen Moss. 548 00:34:11,091 --> 00:34:13,879 - Tell Ted. I don't wanna know. - I told Ted. 549 00:34:13,969 --> 00:34:17,963 - You told Ted before you told me? - Yeah, 'cause he's more open-minded. 550 00:34:18,056 --> 00:34:21,390 Yes, I know, I'm... I'm a bore, 'cause I don't break the law. 551 00:34:21,476 --> 00:34:25,345 - I live within the Constitution. - Listen, plus he got rid of the urn. 552 00:34:25,438 --> 00:34:28,351 - I don't want to hear. - He talked on the phone with a woman. 553 00:34:28,441 --> 00:34:32,560 - How do you know? - He came back while I was there. 554 00:34:32,654 --> 00:34:34,737 - He did? - Yeah, but I hid under the bed. 555 00:34:34,823 --> 00:34:37,816 - You hid under his bed? - He didn't see me at all. 556 00:34:39,202 --> 00:34:43,242 I cannot believe this. My stomach is curdling. 557 00:34:43,331 --> 00:34:45,948 He was very lovey-dovey with this bimbo. 558 00:34:46,042 --> 00:34:49,581 He kept saying stuff like, you know, "Don't worry, it's gonna be all right. 559 00:34:49,671 --> 00:34:51,628 We're gonna be together." That kind of thing. 560 00:34:51,715 --> 00:34:53,923 But what would you have done if he found you out? 561 00:34:54,009 --> 00:34:57,798 - I couldn't think that far ahead. - You're talking two seconds. 562 00:34:57,887 --> 00:34:59,970 He could have looked under the bed and there you are. 563 00:35:00,056 --> 00:35:03,515 Larry, listen. And then, listen to this. He calls this woman back. 564 00:35:03,602 --> 00:35:07,061 - Probably this Helen Moss woman, right? - I don't wanna know. Leave me alone. 565 00:35:07,147 --> 00:35:10,140 When he calls her back, she's not there. 566 00:35:10,233 --> 00:35:13,146 Then he leaves this message, and he says, 567 00:35:13,236 --> 00:35:16,946 "Tell her Tom called." Know what I'm saying? Tom! 568 00:35:17,032 --> 00:35:20,025 - Tom, Larry. - I know, I get it. His name is Paul. 569 00:35:20,118 --> 00:35:22,451 - But I don't care. I don't wanna hear. - Okay, well, I'll tell ya. 570 00:35:22,537 --> 00:35:25,996 I thought I did... I thought I did a great job and so did Ted. 571 00:35:26,082 --> 00:35:28,950 I don't think a private eye could have done any better than me. 572 00:35:29,044 --> 00:35:32,208 I put everything back where I found it. I was very careful. 573 00:35:32,297 --> 00:35:34,880 - I made one mistake. - What? 574 00:35:34,966 --> 00:35:37,629 I left my reading glasses on his table. 575 00:35:39,512 --> 00:35:42,129 Oh, hello, hi. I thought I'd bring you some chocolate mousse. 576 00:35:42,223 --> 00:35:44,010 I know how much you enjoyed the last dessert. 577 00:35:44,100 --> 00:35:44,931 Thank you. 578 00:35:45,018 --> 00:35:47,431 I thought I'd give you, you know, another shot at something delicious. 579 00:35:47,520 --> 00:35:49,056 You want me to serve that for you? 580 00:35:49,147 --> 00:35:51,104 Because you should have it while it's still fresh. 581 00:35:51,191 --> 00:35:53,308 Get some plates and you can divide it up and we can all have some. 582 00:35:53,401 --> 00:35:55,142 - That's a great idea. - I'll get some plates. 583 00:35:55,236 --> 00:35:57,819 That'd be really good. Okay, here, I was here. 584 00:35:57,906 --> 00:36:00,489 Right in here somewhere. The first... Wait. 585 00:36:04,287 --> 00:36:07,246 How are you doing? You need... 586 00:36:07,332 --> 00:36:10,575 - You need any help? - No, I'm fine. I'll be right in. 587 00:36:10,669 --> 00:36:14,583 Okay, great. You're gonna ruin everything. 588 00:36:20,553 --> 00:36:22,670 What are you doing? 589 00:36:24,557 --> 00:36:25,388 What? 590 00:36:25,475 --> 00:36:28,183 Are you okay? Can... Can... Can we do anything for you? 591 00:36:28,269 --> 00:36:31,182 - Coffee or tea? - Tea! I'd like to have tea. 592 00:36:31,272 --> 00:36:33,389 - You know, I found your glasses. - Mine? 593 00:36:33,483 --> 00:36:35,600 - These are yours, aren't they? - Yes! No! 594 00:36:35,694 --> 00:36:39,028 - No, no, no. - They are. These ones are. 595 00:36:39,114 --> 00:36:41,322 - They are mine. Honey, they're mine. - What a coincidence. 596 00:36:41,408 --> 00:36:44,025 You know what happened? The other night I must have left them here. 597 00:36:44,119 --> 00:36:46,281 - Did you? I didn't notice that. - It's the strangest thing. 598 00:36:46,371 --> 00:36:49,785 Because remember, you were saying that you thought I left them at your mother's. 599 00:36:49,874 --> 00:36:51,831 - Left them at my mother's. - That's right. 600 00:36:51,918 --> 00:36:54,331 - That mousse looks fabulous. - It's so good. 601 00:36:54,421 --> 00:36:56,708 Are you looking forward to going snorkeling in the Caribbean? 602 00:36:56,798 --> 00:36:57,629 Very much. 603 00:36:57,716 --> 00:37:00,504 It's funny, I found those glasses under my bed. 604 00:37:00,593 --> 00:37:03,882 I must have dropped them and they probably got kicked under. 605 00:37:03,972 --> 00:37:06,555 Kicked under, right. What she'll do, she'll always drop things... 606 00:37:06,641 --> 00:37:08,553 - and she'll kick them around the house. - They fall... 607 00:37:08,643 --> 00:37:10,726 - The mousse? - I'd love to have some mousse. 608 00:37:10,812 --> 00:37:12,929 You kicked mousse under the bed in the house. Remember that? 609 00:37:13,022 --> 00:37:15,230 - I remember. - It took six months to get the... 610 00:37:22,991 --> 00:37:25,608 Hi. Sorry I'm late. 611 00:37:25,702 --> 00:37:28,695 - The traffic's murder. - Where are we going? 612 00:37:28,788 --> 00:37:31,246 I looked up Helen Moss in the phone book. 613 00:37:31,332 --> 00:37:32,914 - It was just H. Moss. - Right. 614 00:37:33,001 --> 00:37:34,617 So I... 615 00:37:34,711 --> 00:37:37,249 It's on Bank Street. We're gonna go down there and do surveillance. 616 00:37:37,338 --> 00:37:40,331 I got a whole lot of food. 617 00:37:47,015 --> 00:37:49,928 - There's her house. - Right. So we should just sit and wait. 618 00:37:50,018 --> 00:37:53,728 - Yeah. - Okay. 619 00:38:03,406 --> 00:38:05,819 Maybe he thought that if he... he divorced her, 620 00:38:05,909 --> 00:38:07,741 she'd hit him for a ton of alimony. 621 00:38:07,827 --> 00:38:10,285 Or maybe, maybe she controls the family fortune. 622 00:38:10,371 --> 00:38:13,205 Yeah, maybe we're wrong, Ted. Maybe we're just, you know... 623 00:38:13,291 --> 00:38:15,578 Maybe she died of natural causes like the doctor said. 624 00:38:15,668 --> 00:38:18,706 And we're just two people with hyperactive imaginations 625 00:38:18,797 --> 00:38:21,505 whose lives need a shot of adrenaline. 626 00:38:21,591 --> 00:38:23,503 Does yours? I'll tell you, mine needs something. 627 00:38:23,593 --> 00:38:25,300 Yeah? What's that there? 628 00:38:25,386 --> 00:38:27,423 A jelly doughnut. You want a jelly doughnut? 629 00:38:27,514 --> 00:38:28,345 Ooh! 630 00:38:28,431 --> 00:38:30,297 Come on, come on, you gotta get into it. 631 00:38:30,391 --> 00:38:32,303 - Okay. - Oh, my God, look, look! 632 00:38:32,393 --> 00:38:34,885 - What, what, what? Look what? - Look, look, look! 633 00:38:34,979 --> 00:38:37,517 Helen! Helen! Duck, duck. 634 00:38:37,607 --> 00:38:39,564 - Duck, oh, God. - Helen! 635 00:38:41,236 --> 00:38:43,523 - It's not her. - It's not her? 636 00:38:43,613 --> 00:38:46,230 No, it's not her. 637 00:38:46,324 --> 00:38:48,407 - What? - Oh, God. 638 00:38:48,493 --> 00:38:52,112 You really have this... worked out, don't you? 639 00:38:57,544 --> 00:39:00,457 Figured she'd come out and go to work, you know? 640 00:39:00,547 --> 00:39:04,336 Maybe she doesn't work. Maybe she's like you and she has writer's hours. 641 00:39:05,885 --> 00:39:08,844 I'm writing a play about something that happened to you and me. 642 00:39:08,930 --> 00:39:12,173 Oh, God. Oh, dear. What? 643 00:39:12,267 --> 00:39:16,011 Remember that time you and I and Larry and Julie... 644 00:39:16,104 --> 00:39:18,061 were all on that eating tour of France? 645 00:39:18,147 --> 00:39:21,231 - Oh, God, yeah. - And they wandered off. 646 00:39:21,317 --> 00:39:22,899 They forgot to pick us up 647 00:39:22,986 --> 00:39:24,943 and we had to share that bed and breakfast place. 648 00:39:25,029 --> 00:39:27,487 Right. Do you remember those wonderful cottages? 649 00:39:27,574 --> 00:39:32,069 And I remember that we shared a bedroom together. 650 00:39:32,161 --> 00:39:34,619 - Yeah, but not a bed. - No, not a... Well... 651 00:39:34,706 --> 00:39:38,541 God, you were too gentlemanly to suggest that. 652 00:39:38,626 --> 00:39:42,040 - Well, it's not that I didn't think of it. - No? 653 00:39:42,130 --> 00:39:44,497 I knew what was going on in your mind. 654 00:39:44,591 --> 00:39:49,052 'Cause of the way you kept plying me with Chateau Margaux, remember? 655 00:39:49,137 --> 00:39:52,881 Could have been our little secret. Then you passed out. 656 00:39:52,974 --> 00:39:55,057 Well, you... 657 00:39:55,143 --> 00:39:57,635 Yeah. God. 658 00:39:57,729 --> 00:39:59,891 It seems like a long time ago, doesn't it? 659 00:40:02,275 --> 00:40:03,891 Not that long ago. 660 00:40:17,498 --> 00:40:19,831 - Look, look, look. - Oh. 661 00:40:21,252 --> 00:40:24,336 - Helen! Duck, duck, duck. - Oh, God, yeah. 662 00:40:24,422 --> 00:40:26,709 - She didn't see us. She didn't see us. - No? 663 00:40:26,799 --> 00:40:29,416 - That's gotta be her. I'll bet it's... - Are you sure? 664 00:40:29,510 --> 00:40:32,093 - She answers to Helen. - She answers to Helen. She's pretty. 665 00:40:32,180 --> 00:40:34,968 - Yeah. - She's... What's she doing? 666 00:40:35,058 --> 00:40:37,095 - She's getting a cab. - She's getting a cab. 667 00:40:37,185 --> 00:40:39,097 - Keep down. Keep down. - Okay, don't worry. Don't worry. 668 00:40:39,187 --> 00:40:40,678 - I'm gonna follow her. - All right. 669 00:41:14,889 --> 00:41:17,222 - Watch your step. - Oh. 670 00:41:17,308 --> 00:41:20,472 - Very steep. Be careful. - Oh, this is beautiful. 671 00:41:20,561 --> 00:41:22,097 - Isn't it? - Yeah. 672 00:41:22,188 --> 00:41:24,430 We only show revivals now. This week we have Fred Astaire. 673 00:41:24,524 --> 00:41:25,355 Mm-hmm. 674 00:41:25,441 --> 00:41:27,057 Next week we have an Orson Welles festival. 675 00:41:27,151 --> 00:41:27,982 Oh, yeah? 676 00:41:28,069 --> 00:41:31,608 That'll be about the last thing we do before we start renovating. 677 00:41:31,698 --> 00:41:36,284 - Oh. Oh, Paul. - Oh, come on. There's nobody around. 678 00:41:36,369 --> 00:41:39,862 - Come on. - Okay. 679 00:41:39,956 --> 00:41:43,245 I've never been behind a movie screen before like this. 680 00:41:43,334 --> 00:41:45,326 - Strange, isn't it? - Yeah. 681 00:41:45,420 --> 00:41:48,788 Used to be a first-run house when the neighborhood was better. Beautiful, huh? 682 00:41:48,881 --> 00:41:52,340 - Look around. - All these mirrors. 683 00:41:52,427 --> 00:41:54,794 It used to be all mirrors and it was quite beautiful. 684 00:41:54,887 --> 00:41:56,503 I'm having all this broken glass replaced 685 00:41:56,597 --> 00:41:58,589 as we go along with this renovation. 686 00:41:58,683 --> 00:42:00,845 You know, they used to have stage shows here. 687 00:42:00,935 --> 00:42:03,598 Now, of course, we only show old movies. 688 00:42:03,688 --> 00:42:07,022 - It has such a lonely feeling. - That's 'cause I'm the only one here. 689 00:42:07,108 --> 00:42:09,191 - And my assistant, Mrs. Dalton. - Oh. 690 00:42:09,277 --> 00:42:11,894 I'm gonna have this place fixed up, then I'm gonna sell it. 691 00:42:11,988 --> 00:42:13,900 The money's gonna come in handy. 692 00:42:13,990 --> 00:42:15,947 It sure will. 693 00:42:16,034 --> 00:42:17,741 - What's that noise? - Where? 694 00:42:17,827 --> 00:42:19,284 - Oh. - Oh, Mrs. Dalton. 695 00:42:19,370 --> 00:42:23,284 - I didn't know you were here so early. - I didn't know anyone was here. 696 00:42:23,374 --> 00:42:26,037 I'm sorry. I... I heard the noise and I thought... 697 00:42:26,127 --> 00:42:29,211 - It's quite all right. Quite all right. - I apologize. 698 00:42:29,297 --> 00:42:32,085 I'd love to really get an acting job. 699 00:42:32,175 --> 00:42:35,759 - I've had it with this modeling. - Maybe you won't have to work at all. 700 00:42:50,526 --> 00:42:52,859 Oh, geez. Oh. 701 00:42:55,948 --> 00:42:57,610 Oh, my God. 702 00:43:03,331 --> 00:43:06,244 - What's the matter? - Larry, come with me, okay? 703 00:43:06,334 --> 00:43:08,576 - Oh, Jesus, I was fast asleep. - Come on. 704 00:43:08,669 --> 00:43:13,164 - I was dreaming of round card girls. - Okay, looks like he's gone. 705 00:43:13,257 --> 00:43:15,544 - Yeah, yeah, he's gone. - Oh, Christ, not that again. 706 00:43:15,635 --> 00:43:18,628 Listen, Larry, I want to take another look around his apartment. 707 00:43:18,721 --> 00:43:21,338 What are you talkin' about? Where are you goin'? 708 00:43:21,432 --> 00:43:23,924 - Listen. He'll never be back. - It's 1:00 in the... 709 00:43:24,018 --> 00:43:24,849 What? 710 00:43:24,936 --> 00:43:26,427 He's not coming back for at least an hour. 711 00:43:26,521 --> 00:43:28,888 - What you do? You got his key? - Yeah. 712 00:43:28,981 --> 00:43:31,098 You're kidding. What are you talking about? You can't do... 713 00:43:31,192 --> 00:43:32,979 Why, 'cause you followed him to the movie house? 714 00:43:33,069 --> 00:43:34,401 You said there was nothing happening. 715 00:43:34,487 --> 00:43:37,980 Wait a minute. He was with this young model type. 716 00:43:38,074 --> 00:43:40,782 - And they were talking about money. - Well, so what? 717 00:43:40,868 --> 00:43:44,077 - So, that's the motive. - What... Hey, listen to me. Come here. 718 00:43:44,163 --> 00:43:46,450 - What are you talking about? - Come here. Wait a minute. 719 00:43:46,541 --> 00:43:48,624 I've been thinking about you. I think you gotta see... 720 00:43:48,709 --> 00:43:50,701 - You gotta go back to your shrink. - Huh? But, I... 721 00:43:50,795 --> 00:43:52,957 - I want you to see Dr. Ballard again. - I went for two years. 722 00:43:53,047 --> 00:43:56,711 I know, but... You know how General Motors will recall defective cars? 723 00:43:56,801 --> 00:43:59,214 - You gotta go in for a tune-up. - We'll be in and out in five minutes. 724 00:43:59,303 --> 00:44:02,011 - No. I'm telling you, I'm your husband. - Five, only... 725 00:44:02,098 --> 00:44:04,306 - I command you to sleep, sleep. - No, I... 726 00:44:04,392 --> 00:44:07,100 - I command it. I command it. - All I can tell you is, 727 00:44:07,186 --> 00:44:08,472 if this had been a few years ago, 728 00:44:08,563 --> 00:44:10,099 you would have been doing the same thing. 729 00:44:10,189 --> 00:44:13,478 'Cause if you recall, we solved a mystery. 730 00:44:13,568 --> 00:44:15,685 Yep, we solved a mystery once. Remember? 731 00:44:15,778 --> 00:44:16,643 Yes. 732 00:44:16,737 --> 00:44:18,694 - It was the noises in the attic mystery. - In the country house. 733 00:44:18,781 --> 00:44:22,491 The bluebird, I know, but that was a sweet mystery. This is murder. 734 00:44:22,577 --> 00:44:25,240 Well, that... You agree, right? 735 00:44:25,329 --> 00:44:27,662 - It's murder, Larry. - No, no, I forbid you. 736 00:44:27,748 --> 00:44:31,662 I forbid you to go. I'm forbidding... Is that what you do when I forbid you? 737 00:44:31,752 --> 00:44:35,621 If that's what you... I'm not gonna be forbidding you a lot, if you do... 738 00:44:40,595 --> 00:44:42,928 - Oh, damn it. - Don't do this. 739 00:44:43,014 --> 00:44:46,098 We should be asleep now in one of our many cuddling positions. 740 00:44:46,184 --> 00:44:48,301 - Please be quiet, Larry. Be quiet. - This is wrong. 741 00:44:48,394 --> 00:44:50,681 You're gonna wake up the neighbors, okay? Okay, I got it. 742 00:44:50,771 --> 00:44:52,854 This is no good, I promise you. 743 00:44:52,940 --> 00:44:55,023 This could only lead to great unhappiness. 744 00:44:55,109 --> 00:44:55,940 Relax, okay? 745 00:44:56,027 --> 00:44:59,486 I can't relax. I'm in a strange man's apartment... 746 00:44:59,572 --> 00:45:02,406 - in my, my T-shirt and pajamas. - Don't worry about it. 747 00:45:02,491 --> 00:45:05,234 - Now, Ted told me to try something here. - What do you mean, Ted told you? 748 00:45:05,328 --> 00:45:07,365 - Who? Ted? What is he, your mentor? - "Last number dialed." 749 00:45:07,455 --> 00:45:09,822 Ted is a sick schmuck. He's home and we're... 750 00:45:09,916 --> 00:45:12,078 - Just be quiet for a second, all right? - What if he comes back? 751 00:45:12,168 --> 00:45:14,410 - Shh! - My heart is... 752 00:45:14,503 --> 00:45:16,620 - Larry! - Waldron. 753 00:45:16,714 --> 00:45:18,956 - Uh, who? - Who is this? Who do you want? 754 00:45:19,050 --> 00:45:23,340 Who's this? Do you know anybody named Waldron? Waldron? 755 00:45:23,429 --> 00:45:25,295 Hang the phone up! Hang the phone up now! 756 00:45:25,389 --> 00:45:28,553 - Oh, great, they hung up on us. - Good! 757 00:45:28,643 --> 00:45:30,760 - Just let me think for a second. Waldron? - I wanna go home. 758 00:45:30,853 --> 00:45:33,220 - I wanna go back to bed. - Helen Moss. Okay, he used the name Tom. 759 00:45:33,314 --> 00:45:35,271 So, Tom Waldron. We gotta run a check on that. 760 00:45:35,358 --> 00:45:37,691 Run a check? What, beat it down to the morgue? 761 00:45:37,777 --> 00:45:38,813 You got all the jargon. 762 00:45:38,903 --> 00:45:40,269 - Where are you going? - Come on. 763 00:45:40,363 --> 00:45:43,572 - I'm not a night person. I don't wanna be... - Shh! 764 00:45:43,658 --> 00:45:47,242 - I don't know what I'm looking for. - Oh, wait. 765 00:45:47,328 --> 00:45:50,366 What? What do you want to do? Go through the guy's mail. 766 00:45:50,456 --> 00:45:53,824 - This is insane. Oh, Jesus! - What do you mean? 767 00:45:53,918 --> 00:45:55,910 - Oh, Christ! - Well, clean it up. Hurry up. 768 00:45:56,003 --> 00:45:57,995 What do you mean, clean it up? What am I gonna do, vacuum? 769 00:45:58,089 --> 00:45:59,705 Put it under the rug or something like that. 770 00:45:59,799 --> 00:46:03,258 I can't! It's a wall-to-wall carpet. I broke his, his porcelain... 771 00:46:03,344 --> 00:46:05,836 - Well, glue it. Glue it back tog... - What do you mean, glue? 772 00:46:05,930 --> 00:46:07,922 - What are you talking about? - Look. Look. 773 00:46:08,015 --> 00:46:09,472 - What? - Look! 774 00:46:09,558 --> 00:46:12,426 So what, gloves? I have gloves. They keep my fingers warm. 775 00:46:12,520 --> 00:46:15,354 But do you keep yours out on the bureau in this kind of weather? 776 00:46:15,439 --> 00:46:18,477 - Let's get outta here. - I think something's very strange here. 777 00:46:18,567 --> 00:46:21,685 He left these out and ready. I think the whole thing is really sinister. 778 00:46:21,779 --> 00:46:24,897 It's the eye of the beholder. You have to go to the eye doctor, get happy glasses. 779 00:46:24,991 --> 00:46:28,234 I'm gonna take these pieces with us and we'll get rid of them. 780 00:46:31,330 --> 00:46:33,287 How did you like your birthday cake, Nick? 781 00:46:33,374 --> 00:46:35,787 I loved it. Then again, I love chocolate anything. 782 00:46:35,876 --> 00:46:38,539 - He likes chocolate. - I know. I know. 783 00:46:38,629 --> 00:46:40,541 - What are you laughing about? - If only he could stay in town. 784 00:46:40,631 --> 00:46:42,668 If only you could stay in town just a couple more hours. 785 00:46:42,758 --> 00:46:44,841 I was going to, but they're working us hard at school, I can't. 786 00:46:44,927 --> 00:46:45,917 I gotta get right back. 787 00:46:46,012 --> 00:46:47,969 I'm gonna take him to Brooks Brothers for his present. 788 00:46:48,055 --> 00:46:51,548 - Your mother's going to a wine tasting. - You want something from Brooks? 789 00:46:51,642 --> 00:46:53,759 - She's going to a wine tasting. - If I'm going to be... 790 00:46:53,853 --> 00:46:56,311 a restaurant owner, I should know something about wines. 791 00:46:56,397 --> 00:46:58,480 - Larry? - Hi. 792 00:46:58,566 --> 00:47:00,853 - Hey, I want you to meet somebody. - What? 793 00:47:00,943 --> 00:47:02,809 - This is... This is... - Hi, Larry. 794 00:47:02,903 --> 00:47:04,860 - Hi, how are ya? - Good. How're you doin'? 795 00:47:04,947 --> 00:47:07,155 - This is my wife. - Honey, I'm here. I'm right... 796 00:47:07,241 --> 00:47:09,824 - Carol. Remember me? - You snuck around. This is Marcia Fox. 797 00:47:09,910 --> 00:47:12,823 My son, Nicky. He's in town. It's his birthday. 798 00:47:12,913 --> 00:47:15,656 So we took him to 21. It's a tradition we have in the family. 799 00:47:15,750 --> 00:47:17,742 Oh, that's great. Oh, your friend called me. 800 00:47:17,835 --> 00:47:19,827 He's taking me to dinner in New Jersey next week. Some Mafia joint. 801 00:47:19,920 --> 00:47:21,661 I fixed her up with Ted. He's going to take her... 802 00:47:21,756 --> 00:47:23,338 - Oh, you did? - Yeah. The place we ate at. 803 00:47:23,424 --> 00:47:25,086 - Well, very nice. - He's a lot of fun. 804 00:47:25,176 --> 00:47:27,168 - You'll have a very good time. - Great. 805 00:47:27,261 --> 00:47:29,674 - Good to see you. Take care. - Good to see you. 806 00:47:29,764 --> 00:47:32,723 - It's great. She'll have a great time. - So that's Marcia Fox? 807 00:47:32,808 --> 00:47:34,970 - Uh-huh. - Mm-hmm. 808 00:47:35,061 --> 00:47:37,769 - What are you making a face for? - You think she's Ted's type? 809 00:47:37,855 --> 00:47:40,598 She's anybody's type. She's brilliant, talented. 810 00:47:40,691 --> 00:47:43,980 - Yeah, you, you got your bag. - You know, your pupils are dilating. 811 00:47:44,070 --> 00:47:48,565 She's dangerously sexual. Listen, when you go to the wine tasting, honey, 812 00:47:48,657 --> 00:47:51,240 getting back to real life, spit it out, okay? 813 00:47:51,327 --> 00:47:53,319 - Don't drink too much, Mom. - What do you mean? Nick! 814 00:47:53,412 --> 00:47:55,654 They spit it out at a wine tasting, because I don't want you... 815 00:47:55,748 --> 00:47:59,992 to be laying by the bathroom floor with your head by the bowl tonight. 816 00:48:00,086 --> 00:48:02,248 That Mouton '45, that was... 817 00:48:02,338 --> 00:48:06,252 - You love it? - Oh, that was like sublime. 818 00:48:06,342 --> 00:48:09,301 And the inexpensive Spanish one, wasn't that a nice surprise? 819 00:48:09,387 --> 00:48:11,174 - Very, very nice. - Wasn't that great? 820 00:48:11,263 --> 00:48:12,379 Look at these paintings. 821 00:48:12,473 --> 00:48:17,218 - So, Larry fixed you up with Marcia Fox? - I love that blue one. 822 00:48:17,311 --> 00:48:20,395 - His favorite writer. - Yeah, well, he says she's wonderful. 823 00:48:20,481 --> 00:48:23,974 I'm... I'm trying to do everything I can to get out and meet people. 824 00:48:24,068 --> 00:48:25,775 - Sure. - I'm not looking forward to this. 825 00:48:25,861 --> 00:48:30,777 - You takin' her to Vincent's in Jersey? - Yeah, I guess. 826 00:48:30,866 --> 00:48:33,074 - She's not my first choice. - No? 827 00:48:33,160 --> 00:48:37,951 God, look at this. Oh, that park is so beautiful. 828 00:48:40,251 --> 00:48:44,837 - I can't have my first choice. - No? Hmm. 829 00:48:44,922 --> 00:48:46,538 I'm gettin' drunk. I don't know what I'm saying. 830 00:48:46,632 --> 00:48:49,375 You're getting... So am I. I don't know about this... 831 00:48:51,846 --> 00:48:53,803 Oh. 832 00:48:55,808 --> 00:48:58,095 Gonna be late for my shrink. I gotta... 833 00:48:58,185 --> 00:48:59,847 - Gotta go, huh? - Yeah. 834 00:48:59,937 --> 00:49:02,600 Okay. 835 00:49:04,692 --> 00:49:08,311 You know, you would be my first choice. 836 00:49:09,989 --> 00:49:12,823 - Me, huh? - Yeah. 837 00:49:12,908 --> 00:49:17,369 Well. Oh, boy. 838 00:49:20,040 --> 00:49:22,157 Uh, can I give you a lift? You, uh... I'm gonna go east. 839 00:49:22,251 --> 00:49:24,789 Thanks. No, I think I'll stick around. I need to think. 840 00:49:24,879 --> 00:49:28,964 - I feel a little, you know, tipsy. - I didn't offend you, did I? 841 00:49:29,049 --> 00:49:32,542 No! No, no, no. You didn't offend me, no. 842 00:49:32,636 --> 00:49:36,550 I was very, uh, flattered by this, Ted. 843 00:49:36,640 --> 00:49:39,303 Flattered Well, anyway. 844 00:49:39,393 --> 00:49:42,056 - See you. Oops, careful. - Sorry. Excuse me. 845 00:50:22,019 --> 00:50:24,056 Ah. Oh. 846 00:50:25,105 --> 00:50:26,391 Excuse me. 847 00:50:46,502 --> 00:50:50,041 I got a great sweater at Brooks Brothers today, for Nick today. 848 00:50:50,130 --> 00:50:52,543 Really beautiful. It's cashmere. Very expensive. 849 00:50:52,633 --> 00:50:54,716 The kid looked so handsome in it, though. 850 00:50:54,802 --> 00:50:58,421 Also, I decided I'd cook dinner tonight. My one-dish tuna casserole. 851 00:50:58,514 --> 00:51:01,723 - No wonder he had her cremated. - What? 852 00:51:01,809 --> 00:51:02,970 Mrs. House. 853 00:51:03,060 --> 00:51:05,518 Oh, Jesus. You're not on about Mrs. House again. 854 00:51:05,604 --> 00:51:08,642 I thought we'd have a light dinner because we had a rich lunch at 21. 855 00:51:08,732 --> 00:51:11,816 Larry... I just saw Mrs. House. 856 00:51:11,902 --> 00:51:13,359 What? What are you talking about? The ashes? 857 00:51:13,445 --> 00:51:16,188 No. No, no, a bus, it passed me and she was on it. 858 00:51:16,282 --> 00:51:18,399 - I mean... Yeah. - The dead woman passed you on a bus? 859 00:51:18,492 --> 00:51:21,155 - Which bus was this, the bus to heaven? - No, but I'm, I'm not joking. 860 00:51:21,245 --> 00:51:24,158 I'm telling you something. I really saw her. I actually saw her. 861 00:51:24,248 --> 00:51:25,739 - Uh-huh, uh-huh. - Yeah. 862 00:51:25,833 --> 00:51:26,914 - You wanna lie down? - No. 863 00:51:27,001 --> 00:51:29,744 We'll put a cold compress on your head or a hot compress on your back. 864 00:51:29,837 --> 00:51:32,170 Larry, you know, I was at the wine tasting, right? 865 00:51:32,256 --> 00:51:36,421 And I was sitting at, you know, a bay window. I... I happened to look out. 866 00:51:36,510 --> 00:51:38,968 - A bus passed... And... - Remember I said to you? 867 00:51:39,054 --> 00:51:41,421 - She was on it, Larry. - Remember I said to you, "Spit it out"? 868 00:51:41,515 --> 00:51:44,974 I said, "Don't drink it." You said you were going to taste wine all afternoon? 869 00:51:45,060 --> 00:51:47,097 - Yeah. - I said, "Spit it out, don't swallow it." 870 00:51:47,187 --> 00:51:49,395 You swallowed it, and that's why you're this way. 871 00:51:49,481 --> 00:51:52,394 Yeah, I had a few drinks, but it's not... I mean, I saw her. 872 00:51:52,484 --> 00:51:54,646 Yeah, I'm sure you saw her. How could you see her? 873 00:51:54,737 --> 00:51:56,979 She's dead. Not only is she dead, she's been cremated. 874 00:51:57,072 --> 00:51:58,108 It's not even Halloween. 875 00:51:58,198 --> 00:52:01,657 Are you telling me that I didn't see her? Is that what you're saying? 876 00:52:01,744 --> 00:52:04,908 I think it's a pretty fair assumption that if a person is dead, 877 00:52:04,997 --> 00:52:07,865 they don't suddenly turn up in the New York City transit system. 878 00:52:07,958 --> 00:52:11,247 I just don't know what's happening, Larry. I don't know what's goin' on. 879 00:52:11,337 --> 00:52:12,999 What's going on? Let me put it this way. 880 00:52:13,088 --> 00:52:16,126 Total psychotic breakdown. Okay? Is that enough? 881 00:52:16,216 --> 00:52:18,924 Maybe she's a twin. That's possible. Now forget this. 882 00:52:19,011 --> 00:52:21,469 Taste my tuna casserole. Tell me if I put in too much hot fudge. 883 00:52:21,555 --> 00:52:23,797 You're getting so closed-minded these days. 884 00:52:23,891 --> 00:52:26,349 I just... Oh, God! 885 00:52:26,435 --> 00:52:30,429 Hello? Ted! Ted. Ted, you're not gonna believe this. 886 00:52:30,522 --> 00:52:33,606 But I... Ted, I saw Mrs. House. 887 00:52:33,692 --> 00:52:36,605 Yeah, Mrs. House. Yeah, Mrs... The murdered woman, right. 888 00:52:36,695 --> 00:52:37,776 She wasn't murdered. 889 00:52:37,863 --> 00:52:39,855 - Yeah. - It was a coronary, folks. 890 00:52:39,948 --> 00:52:41,610 - No, no. Yeah. No, I'm sure. - She wasn't murdered. 891 00:52:41,700 --> 00:52:45,034 - I don't know what she's talking about. - No, I'm sure. She was on a bus. 892 00:52:45,120 --> 00:52:48,363 - Give her any wine. - I saw her moments after you left. 893 00:52:48,457 --> 00:52:52,371 - He was at the wine tasting. - I'm sure. Would you? Would you really? 894 00:52:52,461 --> 00:52:54,578 Oh, that would be so great. If you'd just run a check... 895 00:52:54,672 --> 00:52:56,789 - ...on Paul and Lillian House. - Don't run a check! 896 00:52:56,882 --> 00:52:58,839 - What are you doing? - Can you call back later? 897 00:52:58,926 --> 00:53:00,417 My marriage is falling apart. 898 00:53:00,511 --> 00:53:01,718 - Larry, what are you... - Forget it, will you? 899 00:53:01,804 --> 00:53:04,387 If you're gonna have an affair with the guy, you don't need a murder to do it. 900 00:53:04,473 --> 00:53:08,342 - I'm telling you I saw Mrs. House! - Yes, I know, on the bus. 901 00:53:08,435 --> 00:53:11,143 The dead persons' bus. No carfare. Sit down. 902 00:53:11,230 --> 00:53:14,268 Now look. Just... I can tell you. I can show you the exact spot, Larry. Huh? 903 00:53:14,358 --> 00:53:16,645 - What about lunch? Tomorrow? - I'm not gonna see the exact spot. 904 00:53:16,735 --> 00:53:19,193 - On your lunch hour? - No, I've a business lunch tomorrow. 905 00:53:19,279 --> 00:53:21,862 - I'm not interested. - I mean, this is such a shock! 906 00:53:21,949 --> 00:53:24,612 - Come on, will you eat something? - I'm just vibrating from this. 907 00:53:24,702 --> 00:53:27,740 - We got tickets to the theater. - I saw this woman. I'm not going. 908 00:53:27,830 --> 00:53:31,039 We've been holding these tickets for two months now. 909 00:53:31,125 --> 00:53:34,960 Do you comprehend the enormity of what I'm telling you, Larry? 910 00:53:35,045 --> 00:53:37,207 If you've got a big story, tell it to the police. 911 00:53:37,297 --> 00:53:39,414 - Don't tell it to me. - What am I gonna say to them? 912 00:53:39,508 --> 00:53:41,966 - Tell them this whole cockamamy story. - What story? 913 00:53:42,052 --> 00:53:44,886 I don't have a story. I mean, I got nothing. Unless... Oh. 914 00:53:44,972 --> 00:53:48,465 - That's right, you got nothing. - Unless... Unless I locate her. 915 00:53:48,559 --> 00:53:50,221 - Yeah, okay, good. - Huh? Okay? 916 00:53:50,310 --> 00:53:53,724 Sit down 'cause we're going to the theater. I don't care what you say. 917 00:53:59,945 --> 00:54:03,063 Oh, Jack, Jack? You were there when Mrs. House died, right? You saw her? 918 00:54:03,157 --> 00:54:05,399 - Right. You saw her lying there, right? - Yeah, sure. 919 00:54:05,492 --> 00:54:08,735 - Yes, she was lying on the floor. - You're sure it was her, right? 920 00:54:08,829 --> 00:54:10,946 He said it was laying on the floor. 921 00:54:11,039 --> 00:54:14,953 - She was in a bag. Yeah. - My wife's been having some bad dreams. 922 00:54:15,043 --> 00:54:16,409 She doesn't know what she's talking about. 923 00:54:16,503 --> 00:54:17,539 Yeah. 924 00:54:17,629 --> 00:54:20,167 This is for all the times I call you to fix the faucet 925 00:54:20,257 --> 00:54:21,748 and you show up six months late. 926 00:54:21,842 --> 00:54:23,754 Thanks. 927 00:54:29,850 --> 00:54:32,433 - The super is a drunk. - Shh. 928 00:54:32,519 --> 00:54:36,433 I know, but... we've seen him smelling of Jack Daniels, remember? 929 00:54:36,523 --> 00:54:38,435 - Yeah, but... - Well... 930 00:54:38,525 --> 00:54:41,438 I mean, I know he didn't see Mrs. House, Larry. 931 00:54:41,528 --> 00:54:43,861 - If she's a twin, it's a different story. - Yeah. 932 00:54:43,947 --> 00:54:46,690 - But you don't seem to feel she is, so... - Well, I don't know. 933 00:54:46,784 --> 00:54:49,492 Oh, I know! 934 00:54:49,578 --> 00:54:51,786 Unless he's in on it. 935 00:54:51,872 --> 00:54:54,080 - Who's in on it? The super? - Yes. 936 00:54:54,166 --> 00:54:56,874 - The super can't change a fuse. - Shh. 937 00:54:59,046 --> 00:55:01,459 - I mean, she... - What? 938 00:55:01,548 --> 00:55:05,508 Well, she's alive. And my question is: Who was in that bag? 939 00:55:05,594 --> 00:55:09,554 - She's not alive unless she's a twin. - I mean, somebody... 940 00:55:09,640 --> 00:55:12,383 - Okay? Now keep quiet. - Look, somebody... 941 00:55:14,394 --> 00:55:17,933 Somebody got cremated, Larry. Somebody. 942 00:55:18,023 --> 00:55:19,935 Shut up. 943 00:55:21,527 --> 00:55:23,393 - Lillian House. - Right. 944 00:55:23,487 --> 00:55:24,728 Maiden name, Lillian Beale. 945 00:55:24,822 --> 00:55:27,485 - Born in Carlisle, Pennsylvania, 1935. - Uh-huh. 946 00:55:27,574 --> 00:55:30,612 Married Paul Richard House. She was not a twin. 947 00:55:30,702 --> 00:55:33,365 Had an older sister who, uh, went to England 20 years ago... 948 00:55:33,455 --> 00:55:35,162 So goes Larry's theory. I told him I saw her. 949 00:55:35,249 --> 00:55:38,663 - ...and an older brother who died in 1987. - Right here. This is it. 950 00:55:38,752 --> 00:55:42,837 - This is where we were. - And I was sitting there after you left. 951 00:55:42,923 --> 00:55:45,040 I was having a glass of, you know, wine, 952 00:55:45,133 --> 00:55:47,170 and I looked out the window and I saw the... 953 00:55:47,261 --> 00:55:49,173 - Right here. Yes. - You saw her after I left? 954 00:55:49,263 --> 00:55:51,846 I saw her on a bus. It was passing. 955 00:55:51,932 --> 00:55:55,346 - You... It was like... - You're absolutely sure you saw her? 956 00:55:55,435 --> 00:55:57,518 - You saw her face? - I'm positive I... I saw her. 957 00:55:57,604 --> 00:56:00,187 Whoo, excuse me. 958 00:56:00,274 --> 00:56:03,267 - I'm telling you, Ted. - What was the number on the bus? 959 00:56:03,360 --> 00:56:06,819 I don't know what the number was, but it was heading west to east. 960 00:56:06,905 --> 00:56:09,943 - So it was it was a crosstown bus. - All right, okay, look. 961 00:56:10,033 --> 00:56:12,195 - It's a crosstown bus. Okay, so look. - Right. 962 00:56:12,286 --> 00:56:15,279 The end of the line is a few blocks down there. 963 00:56:15,372 --> 00:56:18,160 - Then, it's like... Her destination... - She had to get off somewhere. 964 00:56:18,250 --> 00:56:21,163 - was probably the next five or six blocks. - Yeah, right. 965 00:56:21,253 --> 00:56:25,042 So let's, let's look around. We'll see some... Like, uh, you know... 966 00:56:25,132 --> 00:56:27,044 - A clue or something. Or something. - Okay. 967 00:56:27,134 --> 00:56:28,841 Maybe we'll see her. You're sure you saw her face? 968 00:56:28,927 --> 00:56:30,384 Don't doubt me, okay? 969 00:56:30,470 --> 00:56:32,553 - Okay, okay. No, no, no. - I'm not kidding. 970 00:56:32,639 --> 00:56:35,928 Oh, God. Well, I think we've reached the end of the line. 971 00:56:36,018 --> 00:56:37,134 I think this is it. 972 00:56:37,227 --> 00:56:39,310 - I don't think... There's noth... - Look, the bus. 973 00:56:39,396 --> 00:56:42,639 - Watch out, watch out. - Yeah, what? Oh. Whoo. 974 00:56:44,484 --> 00:56:46,601 Yeah, look. See? See, he's turning here. That's it. 975 00:56:46,695 --> 00:56:48,778 - Yeah, I know. - That's all there is here. 976 00:56:48,864 --> 00:56:52,483 Well, what do you think? Do you think we should retrace our steps? 977 00:56:53,744 --> 00:56:58,284 - You, you wear a tie with a dress. - No, I don't think it looks good. 978 00:56:58,373 --> 00:57:00,911 - It'd look great on you. - I feel like it'd be too masculine... 979 00:57:01,001 --> 00:57:04,585 - if I wore it with pants. - Just don't wear it with pants. 980 00:57:04,671 --> 00:57:07,288 - What? - Ted, look 981 00:57:07,382 --> 00:57:09,624 - At what? What? - That hotel. 982 00:57:09,718 --> 00:57:11,675 - What about it? - Well, that's... the Waldron. 983 00:57:11,762 --> 00:57:13,674 Remember I... I was in his apartment, 984 00:57:13,764 --> 00:57:15,756 I pressed the number "last number dialed." 985 00:57:15,849 --> 00:57:17,761 - You're kidding. - They answered the phone... 986 00:57:17,851 --> 00:57:19,763 - and said... "Waldron." - You got a quarter? 987 00:57:19,853 --> 00:57:22,596 Hello, Mrs. House, please. 988 00:57:22,689 --> 00:57:25,727 Mrs... Mrs. House. Can you ring her room for me, please? 989 00:57:27,861 --> 00:57:31,070 - Well? - Really? Wh-Wh... 990 00:57:31,156 --> 00:57:34,069 Maybe... Well, maybe she checked out. 991 00:57:35,369 --> 00:57:38,112 No... Nobody. Nobody at all. 992 00:57:38,205 --> 00:57:40,663 - Uh... what about... - What about... 993 00:57:40,749 --> 00:57:42,957 Yeah, what about, uh, Helen Moss? 994 00:57:43,043 --> 00:57:46,036 Moss. You're sure? 995 00:57:46,129 --> 00:57:48,462 Nobody... Nobody at all? 996 00:57:48,548 --> 00:57:51,837 All right, okay, I'm sorry. All right. Thank you. 997 00:57:51,927 --> 00:57:56,342 Great. Oh, God, it looks like it's gonna rain again. 998 00:57:57,557 --> 00:57:59,469 Well? 999 00:57:59,559 --> 00:58:03,052 If I get two kings, I take one. Otherwise, I fold. 1000 00:58:03,146 --> 00:58:06,389 - Got it? - So... I never go out. 1001 00:58:06,483 --> 00:58:09,851 - I... I-I just, I can't take... - That's how you wind up on welfare. 1002 00:58:09,945 --> 00:58:12,608 I need the action for some reason. I... I can't... 1003 00:58:12,698 --> 00:58:16,112 - I bet anything. Okay? No, no. - Cut? 1004 00:58:16,201 --> 00:58:19,785 I trust you. Lay it on me. 1005 00:58:27,587 --> 00:58:28,919 You seem in a strange mood. 1006 00:58:29,006 --> 00:58:31,214 No, no, no. I'm probably just a little drunk. 1007 00:58:31,299 --> 00:58:32,506 On Perrier? 1008 00:58:32,592 --> 00:58:35,005 No. What are you talking about? I had rum cake. 1009 00:58:35,095 --> 00:58:37,382 - Want any cards? - Uhhh... 1010 00:58:37,472 --> 00:58:40,931 just let me see what possibilities I got here. 1011 00:58:41,018 --> 00:58:44,386 Uh, yeah. I'm gonna have, uh... 1012 00:58:44,479 --> 00:58:48,018 I'll have, uh... 1013 00:58:48,108 --> 00:58:51,272 - I'll have, uh, four cards. Yeah. - Four? 1014 00:58:51,361 --> 00:58:53,694 Cruisin' for a bruisin'. 1015 00:58:53,780 --> 00:58:58,320 Inside and outside straight. 1016 00:58:58,410 --> 00:59:00,777 You're in trouble now. 1017 00:59:02,289 --> 00:59:05,873 I can't escape the feeling that... my, my wife... 1018 00:59:05,959 --> 00:59:08,497 is becoming attracted to somebody else. 1019 00:59:08,587 --> 00:59:11,330 - And it's really bothering me. - Really? 1020 00:59:11,423 --> 00:59:14,131 Yeah. That's why I'm not playing my best. 1021 00:59:16,094 --> 00:59:18,507 This guy's, you know, more adventurous than I am, 1022 00:59:18,597 --> 00:59:20,714 and for some reason they just seem to hit it off. 1023 00:59:20,807 --> 00:59:24,801 I'm gonna be very lonely if, uh, you know, this happens. 1024 00:59:24,895 --> 00:59:27,979 - You must love her a lot. - Yeah, I do. I do. 1025 00:59:30,692 --> 00:59:33,605 If you wanna hold onto her, you have to make some effort. 1026 00:59:33,695 --> 00:59:37,405 - Who's the guy? - Well, uh... Um... 1027 00:59:37,491 --> 00:59:39,904 - Ted, the guy that I fixed you up with. - Ted? 1028 00:59:39,993 --> 00:59:40,983 Yeah. 1029 00:59:41,078 --> 00:59:44,162 Well, we can always switch. Ted gets Carol, I can be your date. 1030 00:59:46,666 --> 00:59:51,036 M- Maybe I should actually make a greater effort with Carol. 1031 00:59:58,762 --> 01:00:00,128 So, you bored? 1032 01:00:00,222 --> 01:00:02,805 Well, it's more fun than the Wagner opera. 1033 01:00:02,891 --> 01:00:04,848 Yeah, well, to me... I mean, just... I mean, 1034 01:00:04,935 --> 01:00:07,552 it's just one of the most exciting adventures I've ever been on. 1035 01:00:07,646 --> 01:00:09,512 Mm-hmm. Would you rather be here with Ted? 1036 01:00:09,606 --> 01:00:13,850 Well, he has a more enthused attitude, Larry. It... 1037 01:00:13,944 --> 01:00:15,185 - More enthused? - Yeah, enthused. Well... 1038 01:00:15,278 --> 01:00:18,442 Well, he's a fun guy. He's a light guy, I'm a heavy guy. 1039 01:00:18,532 --> 01:00:20,194 Ted would be fun on a scavenger hunt. 1040 01:00:20,283 --> 01:00:22,115 - You used to be a lot of fun. - He's the guy you want. 1041 01:00:22,202 --> 01:00:24,444 If you really have a heavy scavenger hunt, he's the man. 1042 01:00:24,538 --> 01:00:25,654 I know, but, well, you use... 1043 01:00:25,747 --> 01:00:29,036 Do you know that this neighborhood was... 1044 01:00:29,126 --> 01:00:32,665 where I first took you out on a date when we first started going out? 1045 01:00:32,754 --> 01:00:36,122 Just for some reason, you've gotten so stodgy in your old age. You know? 1046 01:00:36,216 --> 01:00:38,674 Remember there was a movie house right on this corner? 1047 01:00:38,760 --> 01:00:41,093 - Yeah, I remember. - Not to change the subject. 1048 01:00:41,179 --> 01:00:43,887 I took you to see Last Year At Marienbad on our first date? 1049 01:00:43,974 --> 01:00:46,637 I had to explain it to you for the next six months. 1050 01:00:46,726 --> 01:00:49,810 Who knew they were flashbacks? 1051 01:00:49,896 --> 01:00:53,014 Look, Larry, look. We've got plenty of time to be conservative. 1052 01:00:53,108 --> 01:00:55,145 You know what I'm saying? Don't you see? It's... 1053 01:00:55,235 --> 01:00:58,819 It's like this tantalizing plum has just dropped into our laps. 1054 01:00:58,905 --> 01:01:02,615 I mean, life is just such a dull routine, and here we are, right? 1055 01:01:02,701 --> 01:01:05,318 I mean, we're on the threshold of a genuine mystery. 1056 01:01:05,412 --> 01:01:08,496 Are you gonna burst into song here? We're in a car. 1057 01:01:08,582 --> 01:01:11,996 Just don't make fun of me, okay? Because I'm open to new experiences. 1058 01:01:12,085 --> 01:01:13,872 Let me ask you a personal question here. 1059 01:01:13,962 --> 01:01:15,874 Did you ever sleep with Ted? 1060 01:01:15,964 --> 01:01:17,375 - Sleep? - Don't get nervous. 1061 01:01:17,465 --> 01:01:19,047 - Yeah. You guys... - What, are you nuts? 1062 01:01:19,134 --> 01:01:20,875 We went on an eating tour of France together. 1063 01:01:20,969 --> 01:01:23,052 You two guys spent an evening together. 1064 01:01:23,138 --> 01:01:25,221 - Yeah, right. I know... - At that place, you know. 1065 01:01:25,307 --> 01:01:28,220 Yeah, but what about you? Remember? You spent the evening with Julie. 1066 01:01:28,310 --> 01:01:31,269 - Right? You spent the night and shared... - That meant absolutely nothing. 1067 01:01:31,354 --> 01:01:33,687 She hated me. Julie despised me. You know that. 1068 01:01:33,773 --> 01:01:37,141 She thought I was a lowlife and a wimp and a vermin and a roach. 1069 01:01:37,235 --> 01:01:39,192 Just jump in anytime you want to defend me, you know. 1070 01:01:39,279 --> 01:01:43,364 Hey, I'm waiting for you to say something I don't agree with. 1071 01:01:43,450 --> 01:01:46,033 Hey, you're nailing me. Jesus. 1072 01:01:47,162 --> 01:01:49,074 Larry? 1073 01:01:49,164 --> 01:01:53,033 Larry, Larry, look, it's her! I'd say it's her! 1074 01:01:53,126 --> 01:01:55,368 - Oh, my God, it is. - Yeah, you see what I mean? 1075 01:01:55,462 --> 01:01:57,454 - So I was right all along, wasn't I? - Are you sure? 1076 01:01:57,547 --> 01:01:59,504 - I'm positive. Yes. - Are you sure? 1077 01:01:59,591 --> 01:02:01,548 - Oh, my God! - Right? 1078 01:02:01,635 --> 01:02:04,548 - Right? I mean I was... - I'm... Jesus, I'm sh... 1079 01:02:04,638 --> 01:02:07,130 - I know. Well, come on. Yeah, I know. - That is her. Are you... 1080 01:02:07,224 --> 01:02:08,214 I told you so. 1081 01:02:08,308 --> 01:02:10,345 What do you mean, you told... What are you talking about? 1082 01:02:10,435 --> 01:02:12,893 - You're nuts, honey. Look, you're white. - Jesus, I'm flabbergasted! 1083 01:02:12,979 --> 01:02:15,642 - You're completely white. - All the blood rushed to my brother. 1084 01:02:15,732 --> 01:02:17,974 Larry, let's get out there. Let's find out what's goin' on. 1085 01:02:18,068 --> 01:02:19,024 No, I don't want to. 1086 01:02:19,110 --> 01:02:21,272 Oh, come on. You're not afraid of her, are you? 1087 01:02:21,363 --> 01:02:22,353 You're not afraid of Mrs. House. 1088 01:02:22,447 --> 01:02:23,813 No, she's an old woman, and I'm a virile male. 1089 01:02:23,907 --> 01:02:26,399 And yet, somehow, I am scared. I don't know why. 1090 01:02:26,493 --> 01:02:27,449 Maybe because she's dead. 1091 01:02:27,535 --> 01:02:29,743 I tell you, I'm gonna break this thing wide open. 1092 01:02:29,829 --> 01:02:31,741 Well, how? What do you want to do? 1093 01:02:31,831 --> 01:02:34,744 - If only Ted were here with us. - Oh, don't give me Ted. 1094 01:02:34,834 --> 01:02:36,700 Let's get out of here. 1095 01:02:36,795 --> 01:02:37,785 - No, wait. I got an idea. - What? 1096 01:02:37,879 --> 01:02:40,292 I know what we should do. We should get a gift. 1097 01:02:40,382 --> 01:02:42,419 We'll surprise her. We'll sneak into the hotel. 1098 01:02:42,509 --> 01:02:45,092 - Come on. Yeah, no. Come on. - How? How? 1099 01:02:50,684 --> 01:02:53,222 - Uh, excuse me. Hi. - Hi. 1100 01:02:53,311 --> 01:02:55,598 We were just wondering... uh, did you see a woman come in? 1101 01:02:55,689 --> 01:02:58,147 She was a little woman about 5'3". She had on a gray sweater. 1102 01:02:58,233 --> 01:03:00,941 - Older woman? - With a canvas bag and an umbrella. 1103 01:03:01,027 --> 01:03:03,144 - Mrs. Caine? Dark hair? - Uh-huh. Mrs. Caine. 1104 01:03:03,238 --> 01:03:05,150 - Oh, yes, that's her. Yes. - Mrs. Caine. Uh-huh. 1105 01:03:05,240 --> 01:03:07,106 We had a present for her. We wanted to surprise her. 1106 01:03:07,200 --> 01:03:09,738 - Yes, that's right. What room... - Uh, 611. 1107 01:03:09,828 --> 01:03:11,990 - 611. Really, thanks a lot. - Okay, sure. 1108 01:03:12,080 --> 01:03:14,242 Yeah, we may need some information while we're here, so... 1109 01:03:14,332 --> 01:03:16,824 I'll take very good care of you if you play ball with us. 1110 01:03:18,461 --> 01:03:20,703 What are you making a face for? He's the father of our country. 1111 01:03:20,797 --> 01:03:23,164 - Will you come on? - I'm coming. I'm coming. 1112 01:03:37,230 --> 01:03:40,268 Okay, um... 611. 1113 01:03:43,987 --> 01:03:45,899 - 607. - It's very nice. 1114 01:03:45,989 --> 01:03:49,278 I love a hotel that's got lots of blue powder sprinkled along the baseboard. 1115 01:03:53,330 --> 01:03:55,743 611. Here. Larry. 1116 01:03:59,002 --> 01:04:02,211 - Um, Mrs. House? - Mrs. House? 1117 01:04:02,297 --> 01:04:04,960 Oh, um... 1118 01:04:05,050 --> 01:04:07,884 - M-Mrs. House? - Hello? 1119 01:04:07,969 --> 01:04:10,382 Hello? Mrs. House. 1120 01:04:10,472 --> 01:04:12,555 - I don't think she's... - My God, I don't... I don't see her. 1121 01:04:12,640 --> 01:04:15,724 This may not be the right place. 1122 01:04:15,810 --> 01:04:19,178 Just hold on, Larry. Hold on, hold on, hold on. 1123 01:04:19,272 --> 01:04:20,137 There's nothing here. 1124 01:04:20,231 --> 01:04:23,190 Larry! Oh, my God, wait a minute! 1125 01:04:23,276 --> 01:04:25,859 Oh, my God! Look. Mrs. House? 1126 01:04:25,945 --> 01:04:29,029 - Oh, Mrs. House? Hello? Mrs... Oh! - What's the matter? 1127 01:04:29,115 --> 01:04:32,984 - Oh, Larry, oh, I think she's dead. - What? What's... 1128 01:04:33,078 --> 01:04:35,695 - T-T-Try giving her the present. - Yeah. Oh, my God. Mrs. House? 1129 01:04:35,789 --> 01:04:38,907 - Come on, let's get out of here! - Larry, I think she's dead. 1130 01:04:39,000 --> 01:04:41,617 - I'm gonna run the Boston Marathon. - Oh, my God! Oh! 1131 01:04:41,711 --> 01:04:44,374 - Okay. Oh, God! - This woman is forever dying. 1132 01:04:44,464 --> 01:04:47,332 Come on, come on. Move, move. 1133 01:04:47,425 --> 01:04:50,259 Adrenaline is leaking out of my ears. 1134 01:04:50,345 --> 01:04:54,009 - Get down those stairs. Quickly. - Okay, all right. 1135 01:04:54,099 --> 01:04:56,933 And then what happened was I suspected Mr. House. 1136 01:04:57,018 --> 01:04:58,099 He runs a movie house. 1137 01:04:58,186 --> 01:05:00,143 We walk in, I'm looking around the place... 1138 01:05:00,230 --> 01:05:01,266 I saw her on this bus. 1139 01:05:01,356 --> 01:05:02,767 Her hand is on the floor. You could see it. 1140 01:05:02,857 --> 01:05:03,813 She has no twin at all. 1141 01:05:03,900 --> 01:05:05,107 She was laying there... blue in the face. 1142 01:05:05,193 --> 01:05:07,776 - So we were sitting there. - I tried to keep calm as best I could. 1143 01:05:07,862 --> 01:05:10,400 - There's nobody up there. - What do you mean? 1144 01:05:10,490 --> 01:05:13,904 There's no body there. You wanna show us where you saw it? 1145 01:05:13,993 --> 01:05:15,154 We just saw her there. 1146 01:05:15,245 --> 01:05:17,111 - Mike, check the basement. - Larry, didn't we... Yeah, come on. 1147 01:05:17,205 --> 01:05:19,913 - She was totally dead. - She's there. 1148 01:05:19,999 --> 01:05:21,865 She was right here lying right this way. 1149 01:05:21,960 --> 01:05:23,371 She was definitely laying here. 1150 01:05:23,461 --> 01:05:25,043 Because... She was there, do you understand? 1151 01:05:25,130 --> 01:05:26,371 It looks like she was strangled. 1152 01:05:26,464 --> 01:05:29,332 - Not that I'm an expert on violent death. - We're two professional people. 1153 01:05:29,426 --> 01:05:32,009 - I work at Harper's. I'm in publishing. - Yeah, that's right. 1154 01:05:32,095 --> 01:05:34,508 And I'm looking to start a little restaurant, basically French. 1155 01:05:34,597 --> 01:05:37,135 - International cuisine would be fine. - She's a fantastic cook. 1156 01:05:37,225 --> 01:05:40,935 - I'm against the restaurant myself. - Calm down. Calm down! 1157 01:05:41,020 --> 01:05:44,434 Obviously what happened is, in the time it took to respond, 1158 01:05:44,524 --> 01:05:46,516 somebody came here and removed the body. 1159 01:05:46,609 --> 01:05:49,477 Not that you didn't respond quickly. It took three minutes. 1160 01:05:49,571 --> 01:05:52,188 Not counting the half hour that the operator at 911 took 1161 01:05:52,282 --> 01:05:53,739 to understand what I was saying. 1162 01:05:53,825 --> 01:05:57,193 Nobody's doubting you, okay? We're going over the whole building. 1163 01:05:57,287 --> 01:05:59,199 - All right? - All right. 1164 01:05:59,289 --> 01:06:00,450 Did you check everything? Oh? 1165 01:06:00,540 --> 01:06:02,782 Mr. House, he's been at his place of business all day. 1166 01:06:02,876 --> 01:06:05,289 - Any witnesses? - Uh-huh, backed up and corroborated. 1167 01:06:05,378 --> 01:06:07,711 - You didn't use our names, did you? - No, we didn't. 1168 01:06:07,797 --> 01:06:08,628 No. Okay. 1169 01:06:08,715 --> 01:06:10,172 If you saw his wife, shouldn't you tell him? 1170 01:06:10,258 --> 01:06:13,797 No, I'm... He's in on some sort of scheme here. 1171 01:06:13,887 --> 01:06:16,254 We think you should come down and file a report. 1172 01:06:16,347 --> 01:06:19,511 This way, if anything turns up, we got it on record. 1173 01:06:19,601 --> 01:06:21,638 Take a card, give us a call, have a good day. 1174 01:06:21,728 --> 01:06:23,845 Thank you. Thanks very much. Thanks very much. 1175 01:06:23,938 --> 01:06:26,931 - I gotta have a drink. Gotta calm myself. - Where is Ted? 1176 01:06:27,025 --> 01:06:29,267 - I need 14 Xanax or something. - I don't understand where Ted is. 1177 01:06:29,360 --> 01:06:33,070 - All this stuff is happening. - Ted? Ted's got his date tonight. 1178 01:06:33,156 --> 01:06:35,569 He's probably out buying some Spanish fly. 1179 01:06:35,658 --> 01:06:37,615 I think Helen Moss might be in on this. I think so. 1180 01:06:37,702 --> 01:06:38,567 Helen? I don't know... 1181 01:06:38,661 --> 01:06:40,823 I don't want to know about this. We should change our lives. 1182 01:06:40,914 --> 01:06:41,745 Think about it. 1183 01:06:41,831 --> 01:06:44,369 We should move out of that stupid apartment. Start over. 1184 01:06:44,459 --> 01:06:46,576 - Maybe in Mexico. Sell blankets. - No, no, no. 1185 01:06:46,669 --> 01:06:49,377 We'll work off the hood of the car or something. 1186 01:06:50,590 --> 01:06:52,582 I'm just beginning to come down. 1187 01:06:52,675 --> 01:06:55,167 I didn't know what's happening. It's like one of those TV shows, 1188 01:06:55,261 --> 01:06:57,969 where you open the door and you see a dead body. 1189 01:06:58,056 --> 01:06:59,172 I always hated those shows. 1190 01:06:59,265 --> 01:07:02,349 Yeah. You know, I've never seen a dead person before in my life. 1191 01:07:02,435 --> 01:07:06,019 The only one I ever saw was my Uncle Morris who was 94 years old. 1192 01:07:06,105 --> 01:07:08,222 He collapsed from too many lumps in his cereal. 1193 01:07:10,109 --> 01:07:12,066 Larry, is this the most exciting thing 1194 01:07:12,153 --> 01:07:14,270 that's ever happened to us in our whole marriage? 1195 01:07:14,364 --> 01:07:17,107 This is too exciting. I don't need this. I'd like something... 1196 01:07:17,200 --> 01:07:20,284 I'd like a fishing trip or Father's Day, you know... 1197 01:07:20,370 --> 01:07:23,283 or the time we saw Bing Crosby walking on Fifth Avenue. 1198 01:07:23,373 --> 01:07:26,707 I don't need a murder to... enliven my life at all. 1199 01:07:26,793 --> 01:07:29,706 You know, whoever did it was probably still in the room while we were there. 1200 01:07:29,796 --> 01:07:31,207 Probably hiding in the closet. 1201 01:07:31,297 --> 01:07:33,789 Make sure and tell me that just before I go to sleep. 1202 01:07:33,883 --> 01:07:36,876 - That'll be good for me. - But that means he probably saw us. 1203 01:07:36,970 --> 01:07:40,179 Great. I'll never get my eyes closed. What do you want me to do? 1204 01:07:40,265 --> 01:07:42,678 I'm petrified. Not only that, but I'm a little drunk. 1205 01:07:42,767 --> 01:07:44,884 I wonder who was cremated. Who was it? 1206 01:07:44,978 --> 01:07:45,889 Well, it was... 1207 01:07:45,979 --> 01:07:48,141 You know, obviously it wasn't Mr. House... 1208 01:07:48,231 --> 01:07:50,769 - 'cause he has an alibi. - Oh, yeah, but I don't buy that. 1209 01:07:50,858 --> 01:07:54,442 Mmm. She doesn't buy it. She doesn't buy the alibi. 1210 01:07:54,529 --> 01:07:57,693 Let's get out of here. I want to go home. 1211 01:07:58,324 --> 01:08:00,737 Jesus, it's starting to rain again. Can you believe that? 1212 01:08:00,827 --> 01:08:02,489 Oh, God. If only Ted were with us. 1213 01:08:02,579 --> 01:08:04,241 He would've had a million theories about this. 1214 01:08:04,330 --> 01:08:06,822 - Ted's got a mind like a steel sieve. - Oh, right. 1215 01:08:06,916 --> 01:08:09,750 You know what I think? I think it's possible... 1216 01:08:09,836 --> 01:08:11,748 - That room was on the end of the hall. - Yeah? 1217 01:08:11,838 --> 01:08:13,921 - It's right up there. That's the room. - Yeah, I know. 1218 01:08:14,007 --> 01:08:16,875 What if they got the body out over that little roof? 1219 01:08:17,927 --> 01:08:20,886 - What are the lights? Larry, the lights! - Oh, Jesus! 1220 01:08:20,972 --> 01:08:23,555 - Yeah, that's eerie, isn't it? - This gave me the chills, honey. 1221 01:08:23,641 --> 01:08:25,724 - Yeah, well, let's call the police. - Oh, no, no, no. Come on. 1222 01:08:25,810 --> 01:08:28,393 - Let's check it out. We don't have time... - Check it out? 1223 01:08:28,479 --> 01:08:30,812 - I'm not gonna check that out. - No, but look at it, Larry! 1224 01:08:30,898 --> 01:08:33,265 - There's lights going on there. - Yeah, I know, I know. That's crazy. 1225 01:08:33,359 --> 01:08:36,102 Why don't we go home and nap and call the police and they can check it out. 1226 01:08:36,195 --> 01:08:38,562 The police are red tape. Come on, this is my case, honey. 1227 01:08:38,656 --> 01:08:39,817 What do you mean, your case? 1228 01:08:39,907 --> 01:08:41,990 - Yes, it's my case! - No, I don't want to do this. 1229 01:08:42,076 --> 01:08:44,989 - Oh, God, if only Ted were with us. - Hey, don't give me Ted. 1230 01:08:45,079 --> 01:08:47,162 - Ted would be shaking in his boots. - Oh! 1231 01:08:47,248 --> 01:08:49,865 I'm at least just trembling like a leaf. 1232 01:08:51,669 --> 01:08:54,286 Um, excuse me, we're with the police department. 1233 01:08:54,380 --> 01:08:56,963 We'd like to, uh, check out room 611, please. 1234 01:08:57,050 --> 01:08:58,166 You were here before. 1235 01:08:58,259 --> 01:09:01,752 - That's right, yes. Uh-huh. Yeah. - You are police? 1236 01:09:01,846 --> 01:09:04,429 - Um, uh, just... Show him your card. - My what? 1237 01:09:04,515 --> 01:09:06,006 Y- Your card. 1238 01:09:06,100 --> 01:09:08,433 - Your police identification card. - Oh, yeah, I... 1239 01:09:08,519 --> 01:09:11,478 You know, your card. He's got his card. 1240 01:09:13,566 --> 01:09:15,478 - Okay. - Thank you very much. 611? 1241 01:09:15,568 --> 01:09:18,185 - I'm sorry. - Okay, great. 1242 01:09:18,279 --> 01:09:19,315 Is there any trouble? 1243 01:09:19,405 --> 01:09:22,193 No, no, no, no. I'm, I'm, I'm a detective. We... 1244 01:09:22,283 --> 01:09:25,526 They lowered the height requirements, so I... I'll take this card back. 1245 01:09:25,620 --> 01:09:28,613 - They're expensive. - Come on. 1246 01:09:37,340 --> 01:09:39,252 Okay. 1247 01:09:39,342 --> 01:09:43,507 - Be careful. - Telling me to be careful. 1248 01:09:43,596 --> 01:09:45,303 Now just don't upset anything, okay, Larry? 1249 01:09:45,390 --> 01:09:46,471 I'm not upsetting anything. 1250 01:09:46,557 --> 01:09:49,641 I'm just gonna leave a set of fingerprints... 1251 01:09:49,727 --> 01:09:51,639 so if there's a trial we can get trapped. 1252 01:09:51,729 --> 01:09:55,348 All right, now look. The murderer must have, like, hid in this closet, right? 1253 01:09:55,441 --> 01:09:57,558 - I don't like this. Let's go. - Right. And then... 1254 01:09:57,652 --> 01:09:59,814 You know, I gotta be up early tomorrow. I gotta be in temple. 1255 01:09:59,904 --> 01:10:01,861 He must have dragged the body out really fast. 1256 01:10:02,907 --> 01:10:04,864 - Shh. - What? 1257 01:10:10,248 --> 01:10:12,331 Oh, I'm sorry, I'm sorry. 1258 01:10:12,417 --> 01:10:15,376 - I didn't mean... I... It's... - Oh. Hi. 1259 01:10:15,461 --> 01:10:17,578 You don't have to turn the bed out. It's not necessary. 1260 01:10:17,672 --> 01:10:19,789 And no croissants tomorrow for breakfast. 1261 01:10:19,882 --> 01:10:22,044 Here, here. Here, take this for yourself. I like the towels. 1262 01:10:22,135 --> 01:10:23,797 Keep the little mints coming on the pillow. 1263 01:10:23,886 --> 01:10:24,922 Oh, Jesus, Larry. 1264 01:10:25,012 --> 01:10:26,924 - I mean, really. Okay, now just... - Let's go. 1265 01:10:27,014 --> 01:10:29,301 That's why the light was on. This is crazy. 1266 01:10:29,392 --> 01:10:30,803 - We're gonna get in trouble. - Just a second. 1267 01:10:30,893 --> 01:10:33,852 Let me just look around here, just a little bit. 1268 01:10:33,938 --> 01:10:36,180 I did damage. Now I'll be sued. 1269 01:10:36,274 --> 01:10:38,561 - Larry! - Wh-What? 1270 01:10:38,651 --> 01:10:41,234 Larry, look. Look. 1271 01:10:41,320 --> 01:10:43,437 - I think that's her wedding band, Larry. - How do you know? 1272 01:10:43,531 --> 01:10:45,614 - How do I know? I saw it on her. - You did? 1273 01:10:45,700 --> 01:10:47,612 - Yeah. I think so. - Jesus. 1274 01:10:47,702 --> 01:10:50,991 So much for the police combing every inch of this place. Where did you find it? 1275 01:10:51,080 --> 01:10:53,242 - I found it behind the door, right there. - Oh, brother. 1276 01:10:53,332 --> 01:10:54,664 Let's get out of here. Come on. 1277 01:10:54,751 --> 01:10:57,084 Take the ring with you. Maybe there's a pawnshop open. 1278 01:10:57,170 --> 01:10:59,253 Okay, okay. 1279 01:11:02,341 --> 01:11:04,549 Didn't I tell you the police weren't very thorough? 1280 01:11:04,635 --> 01:11:06,217 They probably thought we were cranks. 1281 01:11:06,304 --> 01:11:07,920 Right? I mean, we got no body, 1282 01:11:08,014 --> 01:11:10,757 and... I mean, they must get 50 crisis calls a minute. 1283 01:11:10,850 --> 01:11:12,057 Why would they bother with us? 1284 01:11:12,143 --> 01:11:14,135 I don't know. I just know this is very deep stuff. 1285 01:11:14,228 --> 01:11:16,766 We should not be here. I'm scared. This is creepy. 1286 01:11:16,856 --> 01:11:17,972 You know what I mean? 1287 01:11:18,065 --> 01:11:20,773 Who knows who's involved? This could go very deep. 1288 01:11:20,860 --> 01:11:23,773 This could be like with the Warren Commission or something. I don't like it. 1289 01:11:23,863 --> 01:11:26,446 The Warren Commission. Oh, my God! 1290 01:11:26,532 --> 01:11:28,819 - What is that? - Wait a minute. Okay. Now look. 1291 01:11:28,910 --> 01:11:31,152 - The elevator's probably stuck. - Why are we stopping? 1292 01:11:31,245 --> 01:11:33,407 - Relax now, Larry. It's okay. - Don't tell me to relax! 1293 01:11:33,498 --> 01:11:36,457 - I'm a world-renowned claustrophobic. - Everything's gonna be fine. 1294 01:11:36,542 --> 01:11:39,455 - Hit something. I don't like this. - I am hitting it. 1295 01:11:39,545 --> 01:11:41,457 - I know, I know. It's okay. - It's easy for you to say. 1296 01:11:41,547 --> 01:11:43,960 - But I can't breathe. I'm phobic. - This is crazy. 1297 01:11:44,050 --> 01:11:46,167 The idea is, there's plenty of air in this elevator. 1298 01:11:46,260 --> 01:11:47,967 Larry, relax. Just don't panic. 1299 01:11:48,054 --> 01:11:50,216 - Okay? Don't panic, all right? - I'm not panicking. 1300 01:11:50,306 --> 01:11:53,390 - Now just don't worry. - I'm just gonna say the rosary now. 1301 01:11:53,476 --> 01:11:56,640 Somebody'll help us. Somebody's gonna help us. Somebody'll find us here. 1302 01:11:56,729 --> 01:11:58,436 - Hello? Hello! - I don't like this. 1303 01:11:58,523 --> 01:12:00,515 Say something. Stop it. 1304 01:12:00,608 --> 01:12:03,521 - Hello? Oh, God, look, just... - I don't like this. 1305 01:12:03,611 --> 01:12:06,729 I'm running over a field. I see open meadows. I see a stallion. 1306 01:12:06,823 --> 01:12:09,691 Shut up, Larry. Larry, just shut up and calm down. 1307 01:12:09,784 --> 01:12:11,150 I see grass, I see dirt. 1308 01:12:11,244 --> 01:12:14,328 Okay? You're gonna be a... Larry, shut up. Hello, hello? 1309 01:12:14,413 --> 01:12:16,905 - You said, "Act like a policeman." - I know, yeah. 1310 01:12:16,999 --> 01:12:19,491 - You said, "Show them your card." - Okay, wait a minute. 1311 01:12:19,585 --> 01:12:21,497 - I said, "What card?" - Here, just... Larry, boost me up. 1312 01:12:21,587 --> 01:12:23,670 We'll get out there. We're gonna do it. 1313 01:12:23,756 --> 01:12:26,089 - I can't get through those things. No. - Yes, we can. I can loosen it. 1314 01:12:26,175 --> 01:12:29,168 - It'll never open. They're painted shut. - Larry, come on. 1315 01:12:29,262 --> 01:12:32,175 - They never open. - All right, put your hand together. 1316 01:12:32,265 --> 01:12:35,178 - I'm breathing. I can't breathe. - No, no, it's okay. Larry! 1317 01:12:35,268 --> 01:12:37,225 Larry, all I have to do is loosen that, okay? 1318 01:12:37,311 --> 01:12:40,850 - I'm fainting because the air's... - Put your hand together. 1319 01:12:40,940 --> 01:12:44,854 Now give me a boost, okay? You ready? Wait a second. Wait, wait! 1320 01:12:44,944 --> 01:12:48,358 Oh, Jesus. You've gotta cut down on those rich desserts. 1321 01:12:48,447 --> 01:12:51,360 Oh, wait a minute now. Just wait. Wait, wait. 1322 01:12:51,450 --> 01:12:54,363 Let's go. My life is passing in front of my eyes. 1323 01:12:54,453 --> 01:12:56,911 The worst part of it is I'm driving a used car. 1324 01:12:56,998 --> 01:13:00,162 Okay, now you'd think they'd loosen this stupid thing. 1325 01:13:00,251 --> 01:13:01,458 I'm scared. 1326 01:13:01,544 --> 01:13:04,662 - Oh, my God! - Oh, my God, it's her! 1327 01:13:04,755 --> 01:13:06,291 So that's where he hid her. 1328 01:13:06,382 --> 01:13:08,669 Oh, Jesus. Claustrophobia and a dead body. 1329 01:13:08,759 --> 01:13:12,173 - This is a neurotic's jackpot. - Ohhh! Oh, Larry! 1330 01:13:12,263 --> 01:13:13,595 - Oh, no, I'm scared. - We're going down. 1331 01:13:13,681 --> 01:13:15,593 Oh, God, what's happening? 1332 01:13:15,683 --> 01:13:17,595 - Oh, God, press up! Press up! - Press up? 1333 01:13:17,685 --> 01:13:20,393 I can't see my hand. How can I press up? 1334 01:13:20,479 --> 01:13:22,015 We must be heading for the basement, Larry. 1335 01:13:22,106 --> 01:13:25,895 The basement. I want to get off on the mezzanine. I'm returning shoes. 1336 01:13:27,403 --> 01:13:28,735 - It's dark here. - What? 1337 01:13:28,821 --> 01:13:31,279 - What are you doing? - I'm getting back on the elevator. 1338 01:13:31,365 --> 01:13:33,573 - I can't see anything. - There's nothing up here. 1339 01:13:33,659 --> 01:13:36,151 Wait a minute. What are you doing? 1340 01:13:36,245 --> 01:13:38,237 Hey, what are you doing with matches? 1341 01:13:38,331 --> 01:13:39,663 Th-These are my matches. 1342 01:13:39,749 --> 01:13:43,083 - I got them at... Look. - When were you at the Café des Artistes? 1343 01:13:43,169 --> 01:13:46,162 I got... Yeah, I was with an author... an authoress. 1344 01:13:46,255 --> 01:13:47,371 At the Café des Artistes? 1345 01:13:47,465 --> 01:13:49,752 Yeah, a French, a French authoress. An author. 1346 01:13:49,842 --> 01:13:54,633 Okay, all right. Shh, shh, shh, shh. Wait. 1347 01:13:54,722 --> 01:13:56,634 - Shh. Try this way. - Jesus. 1348 01:13:56,724 --> 01:13:59,512 I like a basement with knotty pine and a pool table. 1349 01:13:59,602 --> 01:14:00,888 You know, where you can... 1350 01:14:00,978 --> 01:14:04,096 Hey, look, look, look. Look. What's this? 1351 01:14:04,190 --> 01:14:05,977 Wait a minute, not so fast. I don't like it here, it's dank. 1352 01:14:06,067 --> 01:14:06,898 Don't worry. 1353 01:14:06,984 --> 01:14:09,943 - There's strange noises. - All right. 1354 01:14:10,029 --> 01:14:11,941 I don't know what this is. Jesus! 1355 01:14:12,031 --> 01:14:14,193 Ohh! 1356 01:14:14,283 --> 01:14:15,569 Calm down. 1357 01:14:15,660 --> 01:14:18,073 Calm down? Don't tell me to calm down. 1358 01:14:18,162 --> 01:14:20,620 - There, I found the light. - This... Wh... I don't... What do you... 1359 01:14:20,706 --> 01:14:23,198 Let me see. Where... There. Oh! 1360 01:14:23,292 --> 01:14:24,874 We're locked in here. What're we gonna do? 1361 01:14:24,961 --> 01:14:26,623 Relax, relax, relax. 1362 01:14:26,712 --> 01:14:29,250 - I'll break it down. Stand back. - Careful now. 1363 01:14:29,340 --> 01:14:31,457 - Don't worry. Just give me a second. - Don't hurt yourself. 1364 01:14:31,550 --> 01:14:34,884 - Must be one of those new doors. - Wait. Okay, no, no. 1365 01:14:34,971 --> 01:14:38,510 Over here. Let's try out here. 1366 01:14:42,311 --> 01:14:45,600 Oh, God, I keep hearing noises. 1367 01:14:45,690 --> 01:14:48,603 - Oh, what's down there? - Where? Where you... 1368 01:14:48,693 --> 01:14:51,436 - Where are you going? Don't leave me. - Let me see. It's okay. 1369 01:14:51,529 --> 01:14:53,395 What? Oh! Yeah, I think this is it. 1370 01:14:53,489 --> 01:14:55,196 - I think this is the service compartment. - Well, come on. 1371 01:14:55,282 --> 01:14:56,898 - I'm trying. - Come on, get it open. 1372 01:14:56,993 --> 01:14:58,780 - I got it. - Go into a trot. 1373 01:15:01,205 --> 01:15:03,322 - Let's go. - Where? 1374 01:15:03,416 --> 01:15:04,782 Let's go. 1375 01:15:04,875 --> 01:15:06,992 - Oh, wait, wait! Did you see that? - What? 1376 01:15:07,086 --> 01:15:08,793 It looks like somebody's putting a body into a car. 1377 01:15:08,879 --> 01:15:09,710 Jesus. 1378 01:15:09,797 --> 01:15:13,006 It's got a white sheet on it. Yeah, come on. 1379 01:15:13,092 --> 01:15:15,209 That is... Oh, brother. Let's... 1380 01:15:15,302 --> 01:15:17,043 - Oh, my God! Wait. Look. - Let's get out of here. 1381 01:15:17,138 --> 01:15:19,255 - Let's follow them. Come on. - No, no, no, no. 1382 01:15:19,348 --> 01:15:20,930 - Yeah, no, come on. - I don't wanna follow it. 1383 01:15:21,017 --> 01:15:24,181 Let's follow it. I swear, there was a body in that car. Larry 1384 01:15:24,270 --> 01:15:26,227 I don't wanna follow a car with a body in it. 1385 01:15:26,313 --> 01:15:29,681 - Hurry up! - It's probably a rented car. 1386 01:15:29,775 --> 01:15:32,518 - There... We gotta get... Come on. - Or a rented body. 1387 01:15:55,718 --> 01:15:59,052 Jesus, I ca... I can't... I can't follow his car. 1388 01:15:59,138 --> 01:16:01,551 - But he's right up ahead. He's right there. - Where up ahead? 1389 01:16:01,640 --> 01:16:04,724 I don't know which car I'm following here. I'm not a good driver. 1390 01:16:04,810 --> 01:16:07,848 I can't chase somebody in a car. I'm gonna have an accident. 1391 01:16:07,938 --> 01:16:10,851 I'll wind up hitting a school bus or something. 1392 01:16:10,941 --> 01:16:13,149 Look, it's nighttime. There's no school buses at nighttime. 1393 01:16:13,235 --> 01:16:15,602 Don't tell me that. What about night school? 1394 01:16:22,495 --> 01:16:25,533 - You have no sense of direction. - Not exactly 20-20 vision. 1395 01:16:25,623 --> 01:16:27,990 - You have no sense... - Well, not exactly. But anyway... 1396 01:16:28,084 --> 01:16:30,576 - No, I do. He came right here. - Where the hell are we? 1397 01:16:30,669 --> 01:16:33,662 - What is this? I don't know, but... - I don't know. There it is! 1398 01:16:33,756 --> 01:16:36,169 - What? How do you know it's his car? - There's his car right there. 1399 01:16:36,258 --> 01:16:38,545 - Oh, it is his car. Of Course - It is his car. 1400 01:16:38,636 --> 01:16:40,298 - Let's get out. - Be careful, okay? 1401 01:16:40,387 --> 01:16:41,753 Let me turn the lights off. 1402 01:16:41,847 --> 01:16:44,760 Be careful, be careful. Be careful. 1403 01:17:36,318 --> 01:17:39,811 Look, look. 1404 01:17:39,905 --> 01:17:43,899 Oh, my God! It's Mrs. House's body. 1405 01:17:46,829 --> 01:17:50,493 Come on. We've gotta stop it before it gets dropped. 1406 01:17:55,796 --> 01:17:57,833 Oh, my God. 1407 01:18:00,467 --> 01:18:02,834 Good-bye, Mrs. House. 1408 01:18:26,619 --> 01:18:29,612 That was Mr. House. That was definitely Mr. House. 1409 01:18:29,705 --> 01:18:30,991 What are we gonna do? Come on. 1410 01:18:34,418 --> 01:18:37,832 - I'm gonna call the police now. And get... - Oh, Larry, and tell them what? 1411 01:18:37,922 --> 01:18:39,458 This guy, you know, 1412 01:18:39,548 --> 01:18:42,461 he's got proof his wife died of a heart attack two weeks ago. 1413 01:18:42,551 --> 01:18:45,009 We've got no body. We've got nothing, Larry. 1414 01:18:45,095 --> 01:18:48,008 What, what? What's wrong? 1415 01:18:48,098 --> 01:18:50,385 Oh, my God. Hey. 1416 01:18:50,476 --> 01:18:52,513 Hello there. How are you? 1417 01:18:52,603 --> 01:18:54,811 - How are you? - Could I introduce Gladys Dalton, my... 1418 01:18:54,897 --> 01:18:56,934 - Mrs. D... How are you? - ...gal Friday? 1419 01:18:57,024 --> 01:18:59,437 - Hello. Nice to see you. - This is Larry and Carol, my neighbors. 1420 01:18:59,526 --> 01:19:01,438 We were just watching Madame Bovary. Wonderful. 1421 01:19:01,528 --> 01:19:03,394 - Such a sad story. - Yeah, it is. 1422 01:19:03,489 --> 01:19:05,902 Sh-Sh-She gets cremated. She gets killed at the end. 1423 01:19:05,991 --> 01:19:09,234 Listen, stop up for a drink before I go on my trip. 1424 01:19:09,328 --> 01:19:11,536 - Love to. See you later. - See you later. Oh, incidentally, 1425 01:19:11,622 --> 01:19:13,955 if you hear of anybody who needs an apartment, 1426 01:19:14,041 --> 01:19:15,282 I think I may be moving. 1427 01:19:15,376 --> 01:19:18,835 - Oh. Well... What a shame. - See you later. Come on, Gladys. 1428 01:19:18,921 --> 01:19:21,709 - Good night. - Night. 1429 01:19:26,220 --> 01:19:29,008 Jesus. What a day, huh? 1430 01:19:30,182 --> 01:19:32,799 - I can't figure it out. - Mm-mmm. 1431 01:19:32,893 --> 01:19:34,805 - It's gotta be that... - What? 1432 01:19:34,895 --> 01:19:38,605 Either she's a twin or he's a twin. 1433 01:19:39,275 --> 01:19:43,064 - He... - Or they're multiple personalities. 1434 01:19:43,153 --> 01:19:47,022 Or you're a twin or I'm a twin. 1435 01:19:48,867 --> 01:19:51,610 - Because I don't know what's going on. - You're nuts. 1436 01:19:51,704 --> 01:19:54,617 - You know, look. - Wait, wait. It... 1437 01:19:54,707 --> 01:19:55,914 Let me be logical about this. 1438 01:19:56,000 --> 01:19:58,037 Okay, she's not a twin. We know she's not a twin. 1439 01:19:58,127 --> 01:20:00,084 - Hey. - What are you talking about, Larry? 1440 01:20:00,170 --> 01:20:01,911 Stay calm. I want to try and puzzle this out. 1441 01:20:02,006 --> 01:20:03,463 I'm calm. Okay but... 1442 01:20:03,549 --> 01:20:05,791 - She's a twin, she's not a twin. - We're shell-shocked. 1443 01:20:05,884 --> 01:20:08,001 Now you're saying we're twins. What are you, nuts? 1444 01:20:08,095 --> 01:20:12,339 - Calm down. - Okay, I'm calm. I'm calm. Okay. 1445 01:20:12,433 --> 01:20:14,470 - Yeah, I'm gonna be logical. - All right, all right. 1446 01:20:14,560 --> 01:20:17,268 The, um, first thing is this. 1447 01:20:17,354 --> 01:20:20,722 We came home that night. There had been a heart attack. 1448 01:20:20,816 --> 01:20:23,524 What if they induced it? Some kind ofpoison? 1449 01:20:23,610 --> 01:20:26,353 We never saw the body. It had to be some other woman. 1450 01:20:26,447 --> 01:20:27,688 You know, some woman 1451 01:20:27,781 --> 01:20:31,115 who probably had some kind of ballpark resemblance to Mrs. House. 1452 01:20:31,201 --> 01:20:34,239 The super says he saw her, but, uh, he's a drunk, you know. 1453 01:20:34,330 --> 01:20:36,242 Mrs. House could have been hiding. 1454 01:20:36,332 --> 01:20:37,163 Oh. 1455 01:20:37,249 --> 01:20:39,491 But you remember that you heard a noise that night. 1456 01:20:39,585 --> 01:20:42,453 That had to be Mrs. House leaving to check into the hotel. 1457 01:20:42,546 --> 01:20:43,377 Yeah. 1458 01:20:43,464 --> 01:20:45,171 Yeah. Well? 1459 01:20:45,257 --> 01:20:47,419 - I can't sleep. I just... - No, wait a minute, wait. 1460 01:20:47,509 --> 01:20:48,920 It doesn't make any sense at all, Larry, 1461 01:20:49,011 --> 01:20:50,877 because suddenly he murders her. 1462 01:20:50,971 --> 01:20:52,178 What's it all about? 1463 01:20:52,264 --> 01:20:54,722 Let me... Let me call Vincent's restaurant in New Jersey. 1464 01:20:54,808 --> 01:20:56,640 And why don't we go meet Ted and Marcia 1465 01:20:56,727 --> 01:20:57,808 and get something to eat and talk with them? 1466 01:20:57,895 --> 01:20:59,477 - At 1:00 in the morning? - Yeah, so what? 1467 01:20:59,563 --> 01:21:00,679 What are you talking about? 1468 01:21:00,773 --> 01:21:03,390 - Ted was taking her to a show and dinner. - You wanna schlep... 1469 01:21:03,484 --> 01:21:06,352 - all the way out to New Jersey... - Hey, kid, this is the Apple. 1470 01:21:06,445 --> 01:21:09,279 This is the town that never sleeps. That's why we don't live in Duluth. 1471 01:21:09,365 --> 01:21:12,529 That, plus I don't know where Duluth is. 1472 01:21:12,618 --> 01:21:13,904 Lucky me. 1473 01:21:13,994 --> 01:21:17,533 - You really saw his face? - Yes, oh, yes. 1474 01:21:17,623 --> 01:21:21,367 - I'm here to tell you... - It was Mr. House. Not a question. 1475 01:21:21,460 --> 01:21:25,374 You could see him. There was just no way that you could avoid it. 1476 01:21:25,464 --> 01:21:27,626 - To me, it's obvious. - How do you see it? 1477 01:21:27,716 --> 01:21:29,002 Obvious? What do you mean? 1478 01:21:29,093 --> 01:21:31,210 Obvious he's committed the perfect murder. 1479 01:21:31,303 --> 01:21:34,296 - What? How? What do you mean? - Okay, look. 1480 01:21:34,390 --> 01:21:36,097 You have to start off with another woman 1481 01:21:36,183 --> 01:21:38,721 who bears some ballpark resemblance to Mrs. House. 1482 01:21:38,811 --> 01:21:40,894 - Yes. - That's what I said! I used "ballpark." 1483 01:21:40,979 --> 01:21:44,563 - I know, right. - They're with this woman. 1484 01:21:44,650 --> 01:21:46,892 Maybe having dinner. 1485 01:21:46,985 --> 01:21:49,728 They don't induce a heart attack because that's fiction bullshit. 1486 01:21:49,822 --> 01:21:53,907 She has a heart attack. She drops dead spontaneously. 1487 01:21:53,992 --> 01:21:56,780 They had no thought of killing her. Maybe they wished she was dead. 1488 01:21:56,870 --> 01:21:57,701 Why? 1489 01:21:57,788 --> 01:22:00,701 I don't know. Maybe they stood to gain if she died. 1490 01:22:00,791 --> 01:22:03,033 They see a golden opportunity. 1491 01:22:03,127 --> 01:22:06,211 Mrs. House dresses her up in her clothes. She hides. 1492 01:22:06,296 --> 01:22:08,037 This is my theory. Exactly my theory. 1493 01:22:08,132 --> 01:22:10,294 That's right. She checks into a hotel. 1494 01:22:10,384 --> 01:22:13,297 Well, we got that far with the exception of the heart attack. 1495 01:22:13,387 --> 01:22:15,879 Okay, you know the husband's planning to go to Paris 1496 01:22:15,973 --> 01:22:17,134 with this pretty young woman. 1497 01:22:17,224 --> 01:22:19,181 - Yeah. - He's cheating on his wife. 1498 01:22:19,268 --> 01:22:21,601 So instead of finishing the scheme they planned, 1499 01:22:21,687 --> 01:22:24,805 he double-crosses her and kills her, taking her share of the profits. 1500 01:22:24,898 --> 01:22:27,185 You think Helen Moss is in on this too, huh? 1501 01:22:27,276 --> 01:22:28,642 Yeah, a good chance she's aware. 1502 01:22:28,735 --> 01:22:31,398 Okay, but what about Mrs. Dalton? He claims he took her to the movies. 1503 01:22:31,488 --> 01:22:35,277 She's his alibi. She covered for him when he strangled his wife. 1504 01:22:35,367 --> 01:22:36,778 She said he was at work all day. 1505 01:22:36,869 --> 01:22:38,861 That's right. He introduced her as a colleague. 1506 01:22:38,954 --> 01:22:40,911 - A colleague who maybe loves him. - Oh, God. 1507 01:22:40,998 --> 01:22:44,082 - Wait, wait. He's cheating on her too! - Cheating on two women? 1508 01:22:44,168 --> 01:22:46,626 - Yeah, it's perfect. It all fits. - This guy doesn't look the part. 1509 01:22:46,712 --> 01:22:49,125 The point is, he's gotten away with the perfect murder. 1510 01:22:49,214 --> 01:22:51,251 There are no bodies around to prove anything. 1511 01:22:51,341 --> 01:22:54,459 And all the paperwork's strictly aboveboard. He's home free. 1512 01:22:54,553 --> 01:22:56,761 Where did you find this woman? She's a genius. 1513 01:22:56,847 --> 01:22:59,806 She's brilliant, but the guy... He knows that we know. 1514 01:22:59,892 --> 01:23:01,804 But he doesn't care. Why should he? 1515 01:23:01,894 --> 01:23:04,807 Everything's been neatly disposed of. He's home free. 1516 01:23:04,897 --> 01:23:07,389 Only he, and maybe his mistress, know the truth. 1517 01:23:07,483 --> 01:23:08,314 Well, just... 1518 01:23:08,400 --> 01:23:10,357 - She's right, there's no body. - Hold... Hold on one second. 1519 01:23:10,444 --> 01:23:12,561 We don't know this is true. This is just a theory. 1520 01:23:12,654 --> 01:23:14,145 Yeah, but it's a great theory. 1521 01:23:14,239 --> 01:23:18,199 - Are you paying attention? - It holds water. Everything fits together. 1522 01:23:18,285 --> 01:23:21,278 - I think it's great. - When I come back from the ladies room, 1523 01:23:21,371 --> 01:23:24,830 - I'll tell you how to trap him. - Oh, excuse me. 1524 01:23:24,917 --> 01:23:27,751 - Where did you find her? - Unbelievable. Unbelievable, is she not? 1525 01:23:27,836 --> 01:23:30,078 - She's really something. - Her mind, it just goes. 1526 01:23:30,172 --> 01:23:32,539 One idea after another, one thing leads to another. 1527 01:23:32,633 --> 01:23:35,376 I'm surprised you two didn't drool yourselves to death. 1528 01:23:35,469 --> 01:23:38,177 - Oh, don't be so... - We just had a nice first date. 1529 01:23:38,263 --> 01:23:40,880 - I knew that they would hit it off. - Yeah, him. Yeah, uh-huh. 1530 01:23:40,974 --> 01:23:43,967 What about you? You were gonna jump into her lap. I saw you, Larry. 1531 01:23:44,061 --> 01:23:45,677 - What are you talking about? - Huh? 1532 01:23:45,771 --> 01:23:48,855 What's wrong with you? I'm her editor. I'm a father figure to her. 1533 01:23:48,941 --> 01:23:52,184 The only thing you didn't do was rub your hands together. That was it. 1534 01:23:52,277 --> 01:23:55,190 You've gotta be joking. Are you telling me that you're jealous of Marcia? 1535 01:23:55,280 --> 01:23:57,647 - Kids, kids, people, people. - It's not that I'm jealous. 1536 01:23:57,741 --> 01:24:00,199 - What are we doing here? - Yeah, look who's talking. 1537 01:24:00,285 --> 01:24:03,824 My God, I mean, you kept staring into her eyes like she was the Dragon Lady. 1538 01:24:03,914 --> 01:24:07,248 What's wrong with you? You're jealous 'cause he's interested in her? 1539 01:24:07,334 --> 01:24:08,916 I'm interested in her theory. 1540 01:24:09,002 --> 01:24:11,870 I'd just like to know if you take all your authors to lunch... 1541 01:24:11,964 --> 01:24:15,207 Okay, I've got it. 1542 01:24:15,300 --> 01:24:19,670 Here's the story. Since he's gotten away with it, all we can do is bluff. 1543 01:24:19,763 --> 01:24:22,756 As long as we have no body, we have no case. 1544 01:24:22,849 --> 01:24:24,841 What do you mean? 1545 01:24:24,935 --> 01:24:27,769 We pretend that he slipped up and the molten steel didn't do the job? 1546 01:24:27,854 --> 01:24:28,890 What do you mean? 1547 01:24:28,981 --> 01:24:32,224 Yeah, it's possible. He saw you there. He knows you're onto him. 1548 01:24:32,317 --> 01:24:35,060 After he ran away, why couldn't you have retrieved the body? 1549 01:24:35,153 --> 01:24:38,817 You're kidding! I would've wound up with a few toes and a shoulder, maybe. 1550 01:24:38,907 --> 01:24:41,399 Okay, you have the body. What does he know? 1551 01:24:41,493 --> 01:24:44,406 He was probably too scared to be very lucid. He's an amateur. 1552 01:24:44,496 --> 01:24:47,705 He dumped the body and ran off, and then somehow, who knows, 1553 01:24:47,791 --> 01:24:48,872 you two dug her out. 1554 01:24:48,959 --> 01:24:51,326 - Now you can send him to the chair. - Okay, okay, just... 1555 01:24:51,420 --> 01:24:52,831 I like this woman. She's lurid. 1556 01:24:52,921 --> 01:24:55,334 Let me tell you why he's not going to believe us, okay? 1557 01:24:55,424 --> 01:24:58,007 First of all, 'cause I can't bluff or lie without giggling. 1558 01:24:58,093 --> 01:25:01,962 No, because if we really had the body, why tell him? 1559 01:25:02,055 --> 01:25:04,263 Why not go straight to the police? 1560 01:25:04,349 --> 01:25:06,682 If you tell the cops, you can't shake him down. 1561 01:25:06,768 --> 01:25:10,728 Oh, she's wicked. Look... Look how this works out. 1562 01:25:10,814 --> 01:25:13,272 You go to the law, what do you gain? 1563 01:25:13,358 --> 01:25:15,941 I mean, so maybe they, they put him in jail. 1564 01:25:16,028 --> 01:25:18,987 What have you got? You haven't got anything. 1565 01:25:19,072 --> 01:25:21,610 But if he wants the evidence, and he's got to pay for it... 1566 01:25:21,700 --> 01:25:23,282 Okay, now he's nervous, right? 1567 01:25:23,368 --> 01:25:25,735 Yeah, no, no, wait. There's just so many fallacies in this. 1568 01:25:25,829 --> 01:25:27,320 - I can't even count them. - What? Name one. 1569 01:25:27,414 --> 01:25:30,282 Name one? Okay, the guy looks us straight in the eyes and says, 1570 01:25:30,375 --> 01:25:33,413 "What body? What the hell are you talking about? Prove it." 1571 01:25:33,503 --> 01:25:36,166 - That's when we keep bluffing. - What? How? What do we do? 1572 01:25:36,256 --> 01:25:37,337 We produce the body. 1573 01:25:37,424 --> 01:25:39,837 Yeah, but where are we gonna get it? Madame Tussaud's? 1574 01:25:39,926 --> 01:25:40,757 Yeah. 1575 01:25:40,844 --> 01:25:42,836 Say we found someone to corroborate this story. 1576 01:25:42,929 --> 01:25:44,886 - Someone he trusted. - Like who? 1577 01:25:44,973 --> 01:25:47,010 Like his lover. Say she called and said, 1578 01:25:47,100 --> 01:25:49,808 "Paul, I've just seen Lillian's body. They want $100,000." 1579 01:25:49,895 --> 01:25:51,636 Why would she do that? 1580 01:25:53,357 --> 01:25:56,145 Remember that book you recommended to me? 1581 01:25:56,234 --> 01:25:57,691 Murder in Manhattan? 1582 01:25:57,778 --> 01:26:00,486 Yes, Max Schindler's book. That's right, the phone call. 1583 01:26:00,572 --> 01:26:03,280 I don't remember that book. You never mentioned that book. 1584 01:26:03,367 --> 01:26:06,610 - No, 'cause you don't like light reading. - Since when, Larry? 1585 01:26:06,703 --> 01:26:08,069 I don't know this book. What is this book? 1586 01:26:08,163 --> 01:26:09,324 It's fantastic. 1587 01:26:09,414 --> 01:26:13,658 It would be so perfect because she's an actress, a would-be actress. 1588 01:26:13,752 --> 01:26:16,460 And you're... We could use his theater. He's a playwright. 1589 01:26:16,546 --> 01:26:19,334 This is so perfect. Your theater is empty all the time anyhow. 1590 01:26:19,424 --> 01:26:21,507 - Oh, God. - Yeah, thank you. That's great. 1591 01:26:21,593 --> 01:26:23,129 What are we talking about? What do you mean? 1592 01:26:23,220 --> 01:26:27,760 Listen to this. What you do is, we get her in for a fake audition, 1593 01:26:27,849 --> 01:26:30,466 and you write some lines that don't mean anything. 1594 01:26:30,560 --> 01:26:32,677 And she does them and she doesn't know what she's doing, 1595 01:26:32,771 --> 01:26:33,807 and we tape-record it. 1596 01:26:33,897 --> 01:26:37,516 - Listen to this. Then we edit it up. - I'm listening. 1597 01:26:37,609 --> 01:26:41,023 - And we make one end of a phone call, - What... 1598 01:26:41,113 --> 01:26:43,196 and we play it into the phone to Mr. House. 1599 01:26:43,281 --> 01:26:44,192 This is in the book? 1600 01:26:44,282 --> 01:26:46,023 - This is perfect. - Oh, come on! 1601 01:26:46,118 --> 01:26:48,451 That could never, ever work in a million years. 1602 01:26:48,537 --> 01:26:50,369 You don't know what he's going to say. 1603 01:26:50,455 --> 01:26:52,367 In the book they use several tape recorders. 1604 01:26:52,457 --> 01:26:54,369 - In the book? - It's coordinated. 1605 01:26:54,459 --> 01:26:57,702 You mean you're basing your plan on some dumb paperback? 1606 01:26:57,796 --> 01:27:00,083 - This is great. I like... No, it's great. - No, really. Oh. 1607 01:27:00,173 --> 01:27:01,505 He's gotten away with murder. 1608 01:27:01,591 --> 01:27:04,174 Our only chance is to nab him as he tries to kill again... 1609 01:27:04,261 --> 01:27:05,297 to cover his tracks. 1610 01:27:05,387 --> 01:27:08,505 It's great. It provokes him to kill again. 1611 01:27:08,598 --> 01:27:10,931 Exactly. He's gotten away with the first murder. 1612 01:27:11,017 --> 01:27:13,805 You know what I'm thinking, though? In the book... 1613 01:27:13,895 --> 01:27:16,729 what happens is, now that I think of it, he... he kills the, 1614 01:27:16,815 --> 01:27:19,353 the two people that are working the scheme on him. 1615 01:27:19,443 --> 01:27:21,730 But you're not worried about that. 1616 01:27:21,820 --> 01:27:23,061 - Um, well, I don't know. - It's perfect. 1617 01:27:23,155 --> 01:27:26,273 Either that or I've just developed Parkinson's. 1618 01:27:26,366 --> 01:27:28,073 No, we can handle him. Listen, this is incredible. 1619 01:27:28,160 --> 01:27:29,071 He knows you're onto him. 1620 01:27:29,161 --> 01:27:31,869 You shake him down, he comes after you, we nab him. 1621 01:27:31,955 --> 01:27:33,617 It's great. You're wonderful. I just... I'm amazed. 1622 01:27:33,707 --> 01:27:35,289 - I just... - It's either that or he walks. 1623 01:27:35,375 --> 01:27:37,958 Wait, so what you're saying is... 1624 01:27:38,044 --> 01:27:41,253 Wait. Okay, what you're saying... Oh, boy. You're saying... 1625 01:27:41,339 --> 01:27:45,879 you wanna provoke Mr. House into trying to murder Larry and me? 1626 01:27:45,969 --> 01:27:48,632 Yeah. It's perfect. You're not scared, are you? 1627 01:27:48,722 --> 01:27:52,056 No, no, no, I'm not scared. I just wanna turn it over in my mind. 1628 01:27:52,142 --> 01:27:54,509 I just wanna check with my clergyman before we commit. 1629 01:27:56,646 --> 01:27:59,605 Hi, uh, B-24, messages? 1630 01:27:59,691 --> 01:28:02,354 Oh, really? Audition for what? 1631 01:28:02,444 --> 01:28:04,811 Did he say? Okay, okay. 1632 01:28:04,905 --> 01:28:06,771 Wait, hold on. Let me get a pencil. 1633 01:28:08,116 --> 01:28:09,527 Okay. 1634 01:28:09,618 --> 01:28:13,157 Yeah, well, Dad, you know, I've heard just about enough of this. 1635 01:28:13,246 --> 01:28:15,158 Good, that's great. Thank you, Suzanne. Thank you. 1636 01:28:15,248 --> 01:28:17,240 We'll let you know. That's Suzanne Raphael, right? 1637 01:28:17,334 --> 01:28:18,870 Good. Thank you. 1638 01:28:18,960 --> 01:28:21,919 Bye. 1639 01:28:22,005 --> 01:28:23,917 - This is Helen Moss. - Hi, there. 1640 01:28:24,007 --> 01:28:25,919 - Hi. - Hi. 1641 01:28:26,009 --> 01:28:30,299 Uh, have you, uh... I know you just got the material, 1642 01:28:30,388 --> 01:28:33,131 you know, just in the... last little while, but, uh... 1643 01:28:33,225 --> 01:28:35,467 h- have you had a chance to study it, go over it a little bit? 1644 01:28:35,560 --> 01:28:38,803 Yes, yes, I have, but, um, I have just a few questions. 1645 01:28:38,897 --> 01:28:41,731 - Sure, yeah. - Is she divorced in this? 1646 01:28:41,817 --> 01:28:46,027 - Uh... yes, yes. - Recently? 1647 01:28:46,112 --> 01:28:50,231 Yes. Yeah. But she's very highly emotional. 1648 01:28:50,325 --> 01:28:52,658 - Yeah. - You know, really... a lot of... 1649 01:28:52,744 --> 01:28:55,407 - Mmm. - ...feeling, very strong. 1650 01:28:55,497 --> 01:28:57,659 - Oh. Shall I just begin? - Hmm? 1651 01:28:57,749 --> 01:29:00,412 Yeah, just, you know, whenever... whenever you feel into it. 1652 01:29:00,502 --> 01:29:04,416 Yeah. 1653 01:29:12,472 --> 01:29:15,931 - "Hello, Joe? I... I was just..." - Uh, let me stop you right there. 1654 01:29:16,017 --> 01:29:20,182 I'm sorry. Uh, if you'll be... If you'll start out more frightened, 1655 01:29:20,272 --> 01:29:22,309 then that'll take you where you're gonna go. 1656 01:29:22,399 --> 01:29:23,685 Right, right. 1657 01:29:29,114 --> 01:29:30,696 "Hello, Joe? 1658 01:29:32,576 --> 01:29:33,942 I can't talk much now. 1659 01:29:34,035 --> 01:29:36,698 And if I sound strange, don't get alarmed." 1660 01:29:36,788 --> 01:29:39,531 "Give me your hand. Hold on. 1661 01:29:39,624 --> 01:29:41,911 Try not to fall. Hold on." 1662 01:29:42,002 --> 01:29:45,086 - "I'm trying, I'm trying." - "Quickly. Hurry." 1663 01:29:45,171 --> 01:29:49,085 "They're asking $200,000 for it. Yeah! 1664 01:29:49,175 --> 01:29:52,168 They say it's a Monet, but I say it's a fake." 1665 01:29:52,262 --> 01:29:55,551 "Ever since Joe came home from Vietnam, 1666 01:29:55,640 --> 01:29:57,723 he's cast a pall on everything. 1667 01:29:57,809 --> 01:30:01,302 A dark cloud, a pall." 1668 01:30:06,693 --> 01:30:10,232 Hello, Joe? I can't talk much right now. 1669 01:30:10,322 --> 01:30:12,689 And if I sound strange, don't get alarmed. 1670 01:30:17,037 --> 01:30:20,701 Hello, Joe? I can't talk much right now. 1671 01:30:24,419 --> 01:30:27,503 Hello, Joe? 1672 01:30:27,589 --> 01:30:29,706 Ever since Joe came back from Vietnam, 1673 01:30:29,799 --> 01:30:31,791 he's cast a pall on everything. 1674 01:30:31,885 --> 01:30:34,719 A dark cloud, a pall. 1675 01:30:34,804 --> 01:30:36,716 A pall. 1676 01:30:36,806 --> 01:30:39,264 Pall. 1677 01:30:39,351 --> 01:30:42,059 Pall. 1678 01:30:42,145 --> 01:30:45,388 Hello, Joe? 1679 01:30:45,482 --> 01:30:48,270 Hello, Joe? 1680 01:31:05,543 --> 01:31:08,752 Hello, "Pall"? I can't talk much right now. 1681 01:31:08,838 --> 01:31:11,672 And if I sound strange, don't get alarmed. 1682 01:31:11,758 --> 01:31:15,126 - Hmm, perfect. You did great, great. - That's great. 1683 01:31:15,220 --> 01:31:17,462 Well, yeah, excuse me. Hey, don't worry, yeah. 1684 01:31:17,555 --> 01:31:19,512 - Thank you. - Fantastic. 1685 01:31:20,850 --> 01:31:22,762 - There she is. - Where? 1686 01:31:22,852 --> 01:31:25,094 - You have to keep her busy all afternoon. - Yeah, yeah, okay. 1687 01:31:25,188 --> 01:31:27,555 - I'll just keep improvising, okay? - Well, it shouldn't be too hard. 1688 01:31:27,649 --> 01:31:30,016 She's a hungry actress, you're a playwright with a role. 1689 01:31:30,110 --> 01:31:32,022 I'll talk about the play, get her talking about the part. 1690 01:31:32,112 --> 01:31:32,943 Okay. Good. 1691 01:31:33,029 --> 01:31:34,770 I'll get her talking about her life and background. 1692 01:31:34,864 --> 01:31:36,526 Stop the car, I'm gonna get out. 1693 01:31:36,616 --> 01:31:38,653 - We'll hook up later. - Good luck with your side. Okay. 1694 01:31:38,743 --> 01:31:41,656 Listen, does anybody want some guacamole or something? 1695 01:31:41,746 --> 01:31:43,078 Stop with the guacamole. 1696 01:31:43,164 --> 01:31:44,996 - We have to get started with this. -30. 1697 01:31:45,083 --> 01:31:47,541 - He should be back from lunch. - Yeah, all right, let's go. 1698 01:31:47,627 --> 01:31:49,835 Everybody's got the right tape recorder and the right tape in? 1699 01:31:49,921 --> 01:31:52,584 - Yes, we do. - All right, one second. 1700 01:31:52,674 --> 01:31:55,462 - So, uh... Speaker. - Oh, this is so insane. 1701 01:31:55,552 --> 01:32:00,217 - Now, wait, wait, wait, there's, uh... - I'm not nervous. 1702 01:32:00,306 --> 01:32:02,263 I have the contractor come in and nobody was here. 1703 01:32:03,309 --> 01:32:06,643 - I'll get that. You go and call him. - Yes, yes. All right. 1704 01:32:13,903 --> 01:32:14,893 Hello? 1705 01:32:14,988 --> 01:32:17,071 Hello, Paul? 1706 01:32:17,157 --> 01:32:22,027 I can't talk much right now. And if I sound strange, don't get alarmed. 1707 01:32:23,038 --> 01:32:24,574 What's the problem? 1708 01:32:25,165 --> 01:32:28,249 They have your wife's body. They showed it to me. 1709 01:32:29,461 --> 01:32:31,202 Say that again. 1710 01:32:36,718 --> 01:32:39,756 They have your wife's body. They showed it to me. 1711 01:32:39,846 --> 01:32:42,179 Exactly who has it? How many are there? 1712 01:32:42,265 --> 01:32:47,010 Your neighbors. That's right. They want $200, 000 for it. 1713 01:32:48,104 --> 01:32:49,686 Where are you calling from? There's an echo. 1714 01:32:49,773 --> 01:32:51,355 Are you on a speakerphone? 1715 01:32:53,651 --> 01:32:54,858 Hold on. 1716 01:32:54,944 --> 01:32:56,560 We don't have an answer. What are we gonna do? 1717 01:32:56,654 --> 01:32:59,943 - Go to a different thought. - What thought? Wait. 1718 01:33:00,033 --> 01:33:00,864 Shh. 1719 01:33:00,950 --> 01:33:03,442 You've eithergotta pay them off orget rid of them. 1720 01:33:03,536 --> 01:33:06,700 Look, we can't talk about this on the phone. Can you meet me? 1721 01:33:06,790 --> 01:33:09,578 Yes! They're keeping it refrigerated. 1722 01:33:09,667 --> 01:33:12,159 What? What did you say? 1723 01:33:12,253 --> 01:33:14,165 About two hours ago. 1724 01:33:14,255 --> 01:33:16,838 Two... What? Two hours, what? 1725 01:33:18,968 --> 01:33:21,335 - Hold on. - Jesus, we're all screwed up. 1726 01:33:21,429 --> 01:33:24,422 Okay, let's get off as quick as possible. We've done it. 1727 01:33:24,516 --> 01:33:28,726 - Well, do something. Do something. - Shh. Um, okay. Shh. 1728 01:33:31,356 --> 01:33:34,190 Hello, Paul? I can't talk much right now. 1729 01:33:34,275 --> 01:33:37,018 And if I sound strange, don't get alarmed. 1730 01:33:37,112 --> 01:33:38,694 Look, Helen, you're not making sense. 1731 01:33:38,780 --> 01:33:40,897 I know you're upset, but you have to pull yourself together. 1732 01:33:40,990 --> 01:33:43,323 Now, can we meet? The usual spot. 1733 01:33:43,409 --> 01:33:44,775 Hold on. 1734 01:33:46,329 --> 01:33:49,788 Helen? Helen, are you still there? 1735 01:33:49,874 --> 01:33:51,035 Helen? 1736 01:33:51,126 --> 01:33:53,118 - Okay, hurry up, hurry up. Okay. - Forget it. 1737 01:33:53,211 --> 01:33:57,125 - Somebody press something. Come on. - Come on, Carol. You do it. 1738 01:33:57,215 --> 01:33:59,252 You have no choice. They've got the goods. 1739 01:33:59,342 --> 01:34:03,052 You just pay them of forget rid of them. I have to hang up. 1740 01:34:20,947 --> 01:34:23,189 What's the matter, Paul? You look all shaken up. 1741 01:34:23,283 --> 01:34:24,239 No, no. It's nothing. 1742 01:34:24,325 --> 01:34:28,285 - I worry about you these days, Paul. - I'm fine. I'm fine. 1743 01:34:28,371 --> 01:34:29,452 You're different. 1744 01:34:29,539 --> 01:34:31,622 I said I was fine. Will you stop interfering? 1745 01:34:32,959 --> 01:34:35,542 - You never used to pull away from me. - I told you leave me alone! 1746 01:34:35,628 --> 01:34:37,995 I don't want to have this conversation all the time. 1747 01:34:46,014 --> 01:34:48,802 Great. Right. Now, my job is to wait exactly one hour... 1748 01:34:48,892 --> 01:34:50,975 and call Mr. House from a phone booth. 1749 01:34:51,060 --> 01:34:53,268 - Where are you running so fast? - I have to go home and change. 1750 01:34:53,354 --> 01:34:55,596 I've got an appointment with a friend of Ted's. 1751 01:34:55,690 --> 01:34:58,979 - What are you so steamed up about? - What do you mean? 1752 01:34:59,068 --> 01:35:02,527 I just don't understand how you could give a book to Marcia and not to me. 1753 01:35:02,614 --> 01:35:04,401 What are you talking about? We just had a big success. 1754 01:35:04,490 --> 01:35:05,321 What? 1755 01:35:05,408 --> 01:35:08,196 - Marcia likes to read what I like to read. - Oh, right. God, yeah. 1756 01:35:08,286 --> 01:35:11,495 I guess it's true. We've got nothing in common, that's for sure. 1757 01:35:11,581 --> 01:35:14,870 Now that Nick's grown up, we're left facing each other. 1758 01:35:14,959 --> 01:35:16,916 You got stuff in common with Ted. You can cook with Ted. 1759 01:35:17,003 --> 01:35:17,834 Yeah, Ted... 1760 01:35:17,921 --> 01:35:20,129 Or you can take your clothes off and baste a chicken with him. 1761 01:35:20,215 --> 01:35:23,708 What about you and Marcia? What does she teach you besides poker? 1762 01:35:23,801 --> 01:35:26,669 Mud wrestling. Is that what you wanna hear? Nothing. I'm her editor. 1763 01:35:26,763 --> 01:35:28,925 I think the time has come for us to reevaluate our lives. 1764 01:35:29,015 --> 01:35:30,551 - I reevaluated our lives. - Yeah. 1765 01:35:30,642 --> 01:35:32,884 I got a ten, you got a six. 1766 01:35:32,977 --> 01:35:36,095 Listen, I think maybe I will go back to seeing my shrink. 1767 01:35:36,189 --> 01:35:38,476 You don't have to. There's nothing wrong with you 1768 01:35:38,566 --> 01:35:40,899 that can't be cured with a little Prozac and a polo mallet. 1769 01:35:40,985 --> 01:35:43,318 I just would like to be alone for a while. Okay, Larry? 1770 01:35:43,404 --> 01:35:46,522 - What are you talk... - Just... I... Okay? 1771 01:35:48,451 --> 01:35:51,159 So I have, like, this really crazy father and everything. 1772 01:35:51,246 --> 01:35:52,077 Oh, yeah? 1773 01:35:52,163 --> 01:35:54,826 Yeah, he's wanted, like, in three states. He has a terrible driving record. 1774 01:35:54,916 --> 01:35:57,078 So we had to move from Virginia, then to New Jersey... 1775 01:35:57,168 --> 01:35:58,909 Your father is wanted in three states for driving? 1776 01:35:59,003 --> 01:36:00,335 Yeah, for driving. Yeah. 1777 01:36:00,421 --> 01:36:03,038 So I moved to Hackensack, and then... Well, anyway, 1778 01:36:03,132 --> 01:36:05,044 I was in all these different contests, 1779 01:36:05,134 --> 01:36:07,251 and I was even... Miss, uh, Teenage Passaic. 1780 01:36:07,345 --> 01:36:08,881 - Oh, how wonderful. - Yeah. 1781 01:36:47,427 --> 01:36:50,295 Was that before or after the fourth abortion? 1782 01:36:50,388 --> 01:36:52,596 Well, after the fourth, but before the drama prize. 1783 01:36:52,682 --> 01:36:53,513 The drama prize? 1784 01:36:53,599 --> 01:36:56,433 - And... Mm-hmm. Remember? - I don't remember the... What? 1785 01:36:56,519 --> 01:36:59,432 "Out, out, damned spot"? The topless Macbeth? 1786 01:36:59,522 --> 01:37:01,605 Oh, yeah. Oh, for the fraternity party, yeah. 1787 01:37:01,691 --> 01:37:02,522 Yeah, yeah. 1788 01:37:02,608 --> 01:37:04,270 Topless Macbeth. How could I forget that? 1789 01:37:04,360 --> 01:37:05,396 I was great in that. 1790 01:37:17,248 --> 01:37:20,832 Hello, Mr. House? This is Larry Lipton. 1791 01:37:20,918 --> 01:37:25,003 I... I got a package I think you're gonna want. 1792 01:37:25,089 --> 01:37:29,003 Of course, it's gonna cost you... $200,000... 1793 01:37:29,093 --> 01:37:32,632 in small, unmarked bills... or... 1794 01:37:32,722 --> 01:37:36,932 or... large, marked ones, if you wanna go that route. 1795 01:37:37,018 --> 01:37:39,385 And I have a package you might want, Mr. Lipton. 1796 01:37:39,479 --> 01:37:42,187 If you ever want to see your wife alive again, you'll do as I say. 1797 01:37:42,273 --> 01:37:45,687 Oh, really? Well, I think you're bluffing. 1798 01:37:45,777 --> 01:37:48,315 Yeah, d-don't ever try and bluff a bluffer. 1799 01:37:48,404 --> 01:37:51,988 Yeah, if you've got Carol, put her on the phone. 1800 01:37:52,075 --> 01:37:56,991 Larry, Larry, help me! I'm here, Larry. 1801 01:37:58,122 --> 01:38:02,082 Oh, my God. D- D-Don't hurt her! 1802 01:38:02,168 --> 01:38:05,661 I'll tell you exactly where to meet me. And you bring that package I want. 1803 01:38:05,755 --> 01:38:08,418 Once I have it and I'm safely gone, you'll get your wife back. 1804 01:38:08,508 --> 01:38:10,750 Otherwise, I'll kill her! 1805 01:38:10,843 --> 01:38:13,927 Yes, yes. No, no, no, I... I understand. 1806 01:38:14,013 --> 01:38:15,970 Yes, no, I'll be there. I'll be there. I... 1807 01:38:16,057 --> 01:38:18,390 Yes, I'll... I'll bring your wife's body. She... 1808 01:38:18,476 --> 01:38:22,720 In the trunk of my car. Yes, I'll... I promise. I'll be there. 1809 01:38:22,814 --> 01:38:27,104 I don't have his wife's body. 1810 01:38:27,193 --> 01:38:29,651 Bluff. Bluff. 1811 01:38:46,712 --> 01:38:49,045 - Where's Carol? - First show me Lillian's body. 1812 01:38:49,132 --> 01:38:49,963 I... I got it. 1813 01:38:50,049 --> 01:38:53,087 There's no way she could have survived that vat of molten steel. 1814 01:38:53,177 --> 01:38:54,338 No. No, I... I got... 1815 01:38:54,429 --> 01:38:57,137 - If you're not bluffing, where is she? - Why are you so nervous? 1816 01:38:57,223 --> 01:38:58,805 If I don't have her, what are you so nervous... 1817 01:38:58,891 --> 01:38:59,722 Where is she? 1818 01:38:59,809 --> 01:39:02,176 - I got her in the trunk of my car. - Open it. Come on, now. 1819 01:39:02,270 --> 01:39:03,101 I... I got her. 1820 01:39:03,187 --> 01:39:05,144 If she's not there, I'll put a bullet through your head. 1821 01:39:05,231 --> 01:39:06,267 Now open it! 1822 01:39:06,357 --> 01:39:07,598 Come on. Come on. 1823 01:39:10,027 --> 01:39:12,360 - Step back. - No, no, I got her. 1824 01:39:12,447 --> 01:39:15,235 See, if I don't have her, how come I got her ring? I got her in there. 1825 01:39:15,324 --> 01:39:19,318 - I think you're lying. - No, no, no, no. Uh... 1826 01:39:22,290 --> 01:39:24,657 - What is this? What is this? - I could never bluff. 1827 01:39:24,750 --> 01:39:26,662 I... I've lost a fortune in cards over the years. 1828 01:39:26,752 --> 01:39:29,415 - Listen to me. I'm going to put a... - I'm not a bluffer. 1829 01:39:31,799 --> 01:39:34,416 Let go. 1830 01:39:38,848 --> 01:39:40,965 That's what Grisby thought. But, of course, 1831 01:39:41,058 --> 01:39:44,517 she meant to kill Grisby too, after he'd served his purpose. 1832 01:39:44,604 --> 01:39:46,140 Poor howling idiot. 1833 01:39:46,230 --> 01:39:48,893 He never even did that. He went and shot Broome. 1834 01:39:48,983 --> 01:39:51,350 That was not part of the plan. 1835 01:39:51,444 --> 01:39:54,403 Broome might have gotten to the police before he died. 1836 01:39:54,489 --> 01:39:57,027 And if the cops traced it to Grisby, 1837 01:39:57,116 --> 01:40:00,700 and the cops made Grisby talk, he'd spill everything. 1838 01:40:00,786 --> 01:40:05,531 And she'd be finished. So she had to shut up Grisby but quick. 1839 01:40:37,240 --> 01:40:39,778 Why don't you try to understand? 1840 01:40:41,077 --> 01:40:44,821 He was mad. He had to be shot. 1841 01:40:44,914 --> 01:40:48,749 - And what about me? - We could have gone off together. 1842 01:40:48,834 --> 01:40:51,542 "One who follows his nature..." 1843 01:40:51,629 --> 01:40:53,996 Help! Help! 1844 01:40:54,090 --> 01:40:56,833 They can't see us behind the screen. 1845 01:40:56,926 --> 01:40:59,259 And they can't hear us with the sound on. 1846 01:40:59,345 --> 01:41:03,009 - Not even a gunshot. - Hello, Paul. 1847 01:41:03,099 --> 01:41:06,217 - Didn't you expect me? - Mrs. Dalton. 1848 01:41:06,310 --> 01:41:09,428 You made a lot of promises to me over the years. 1849 01:41:09,522 --> 01:41:13,641 And then you decided to dump me for that young model. 1850 01:41:13,734 --> 01:41:17,444 - I never led you on. - It's late for excuses. 1851 01:41:17,530 --> 01:41:19,271 None of you can prove anything. 1852 01:41:19,365 --> 01:41:22,358 So you'd be foolish to fire thatgun. 1853 01:41:24,287 --> 01:41:26,904 - With these mirrors, it's difficult to tell. - Carol? Carol? 1854 01:41:26,998 --> 01:41:29,240 - You are aiming at me, aren't you? - Carol? 1855 01:41:29,333 --> 01:41:32,747 - I'm aiming at you, lover. - Killing you is killing myself. 1856 01:41:32,837 --> 01:41:35,750 - Of course, killing you is killing myself. - It's the same thing. 1857 01:41:35,840 --> 01:41:39,049 But, you know, I'm pretty tired of both of us. 1858 01:42:00,740 --> 01:42:04,108 My God! 1859 01:42:04,201 --> 01:42:05,533 Are you okay? Are you okay? 1860 01:42:05,620 --> 01:42:08,454 Oh, God, Larry. Oh, Larry, I'm so happy to see you. 1861 01:42:08,539 --> 01:42:10,155 I was never so glad to see somebody in my life. 1862 01:42:10,249 --> 01:42:11,114 Here, here. 1863 01:42:11,208 --> 01:42:13,450 - Are you all right? - Get me out of this. Yes, I'm all right. 1864 01:42:13,544 --> 01:42:15,501 You don't know what's going on out there. 1865 01:42:15,588 --> 01:42:18,001 I'll never say that life doesn't imitate art again. 1866 01:42:18,090 --> 01:42:20,332 - I'm... I'm... Oh, Je... - We gotta call the police, Larry. 1867 01:42:20,426 --> 01:42:23,510 - Yes, and a glazier. - I know. Oh, God. 1868 01:42:23,596 --> 01:42:26,839 - Quick, quick. Dial, dial, dial. - Dial. I know. Oh, Larry. 1869 01:42:26,932 --> 01:42:30,141 - Oh! - Oh, God, Larry. Oh, God. 1870 01:42:30,227 --> 01:42:34,141 - Oh. Oh, God. Ow! Ow! God! Jesus! - I'm sorry. I'm sorry. 1871 01:42:34,231 --> 01:42:37,395 - Oh, wife mine. Wife mine. - Hello? Oh, God. 1872 01:42:39,820 --> 01:42:44,155 God, it's so complicated. I can't keep track of it all. 1873 01:42:44,241 --> 01:42:47,154 Oh, listen. I'll give it to you one more time. 1874 01:42:49,246 --> 01:42:51,408 Mrs. House had a sister 1875 01:42:51,499 --> 01:42:53,331 who moved to England manyyears ago. 1876 01:42:53,417 --> 01:42:56,751 She changed her name when she married. Her husband died. 1877 01:42:56,837 --> 01:43:00,831 She moved back to New York recently, a very, very rich widow, but a recluse. 1878 01:43:00,925 --> 01:43:03,042 Mr. and Mrs. House knew they weren't in her will. 1879 01:43:03,135 --> 01:43:04,421 They have her over to dinner. 1880 01:43:04,512 --> 01:43:08,301 She accidentally keels over. I guessed right there. 1881 01:43:08,391 --> 01:43:11,475 She has a reasonable resemblance to her sister, so they fake it, 1882 01:43:11,560 --> 01:43:13,517 pretend Lillian House died. 1883 01:43:13,604 --> 01:43:17,097 They cremate the sister, Lillian checks into a fleabagjoint... 1884 01:43:17,191 --> 01:43:19,729 and for several weeks she pretends to be her sister, 1885 01:43:19,819 --> 01:43:24,029 closing her accounts, liquidating her assets, accumulating big money. 1886 01:43:24,115 --> 01:43:26,198 What she didn't realize was that her husband was... 1887 01:43:26,283 --> 01:43:28,696 two-timing her with Helen Moss, this pretty model. 1888 01:43:28,786 --> 01:43:29,867 Yeah. 1889 01:43:29,954 --> 01:43:34,369 So he decides not to cut her in, and go off to... I don't know, 1890 01:43:34,458 --> 01:43:38,042 with his mistress, and, uh, keep all the dough. 1891 01:43:38,129 --> 01:43:42,248 So... he kills Lillian, he cremates her, 1892 01:43:42,341 --> 01:43:45,379 pours molten steel all over her or something... 1893 01:43:45,469 --> 01:43:49,053 and, uh, that's when we came along and tripped him up. 1894 01:43:49,140 --> 01:43:51,883 - He had some great alibis. - Yeah, that woman who worked for him? 1895 01:43:51,976 --> 01:43:54,013 - Yeah, yeah. - Mrs. Dalton? She covered for him. 1896 01:43:54,103 --> 01:43:57,471 She loved him. Not that she dreamed he was a murderer. 1897 01:43:57,565 --> 01:43:59,898 I wanna celebrate something. What do you wanna do? 1898 01:43:59,984 --> 01:44:03,898 You wanna... wanna see what, uh, what Larry and Carol are up to? 1899 01:44:03,988 --> 01:44:06,230 I think they want to be alone. 1900 01:44:06,323 --> 01:44:09,236 Oh, yeah. Uh, okay. All right. 1901 01:44:09,326 --> 01:44:12,694 Uh, you have any plans? 1902 01:44:12,788 --> 01:44:15,747 - You're taking me to dinner, right? - Yeah, right. Absolutely. 1903 01:44:15,833 --> 01:44:17,574 - Only we can't sleep together. - Why not? 1904 01:44:17,668 --> 01:44:20,411 Not, not tonight. Well, I already slept with Helen Moss once today, 1905 01:44:20,504 --> 01:44:22,541 and I'm not young and active like I used to be. 1906 01:44:22,631 --> 01:44:25,248 You'll do anything to catch a murderer, won't you? 1907 01:44:28,679 --> 01:44:31,422 - What an experience! I'm still vibrating. - Oh, I know. 1908 01:44:31,515 --> 01:44:35,054 Oh, you know, Larry, you were surprisingly brave. 1909 01:44:35,144 --> 01:44:37,807 What do you mean, "surprisingly"? You seem shocked. 1910 01:44:37,897 --> 01:44:40,605 - Well, I... You know... - I'm a pretty good guy, you know. 1911 01:44:40,691 --> 01:44:41,556 Yeah, I know. 1912 01:44:41,650 --> 01:44:43,357 So where do you want to go for dinner tonight? 1913 01:44:43,444 --> 01:44:46,937 Let's not eat at any restaurant where they serve cowards. 1914 01:44:47,031 --> 01:44:51,071 - What are you laughing at? - You know, Larry, I love you. I love you. 1915 01:44:51,160 --> 01:44:54,653 How could you ever have been jealous of Marcia? Isn't that ridiculous? 1916 01:44:54,747 --> 01:44:56,909 - What do you mean? - Don't you know I could only love you? 1917 01:44:56,999 --> 01:44:59,958 - You were jealous of Ted. Yeah. - Ted? You've got to be kidding. 1918 01:45:00,044 --> 01:45:03,833 Take away his elevator shoes and his fake suntan and his capped teeth, 1919 01:45:03,923 --> 01:45:06,085 - and what do you have? - You. 1920 01:45:06,175 --> 01:45:09,418 Right. I like that. 166479

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