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1
00:00:01,101 --> 00:00:02,401
(cash register)
2
00:00:02,403 --> 00:00:03,669
- And then he'll enter
from over here,
3
00:00:03,671 --> 00:00:05,170
and you're gonna
wanna stand here,
4
00:00:05,172 --> 00:00:07,206
probably a low angle, maybe
an 85 millimeter I'd say.
5
00:00:07,208 --> 00:00:08,474
And where'd the lady go?
6
00:00:08,476 --> 00:00:09,675
- Here.
7
00:00:09,677 --> 00:00:12,311
- Okay, sweetheart
come here, sit.
8
00:00:13,146 --> 00:00:14,413
What do you like to eat?
9
00:00:14,415 --> 00:00:16,148
- Um, poached eggs.
10
00:00:17,217 --> 00:00:18,584
- Scrambled looks
better on camera.
11
00:00:18,586 --> 00:00:20,486
Get her a scrambled eggs, wet.
12
00:00:20,488 --> 00:00:22,554
Now, when he comes in,
you're very surprised, okay?
13
00:00:22,556 --> 00:00:23,389
- But I already know that he's--
14
00:00:23,391 --> 00:00:24,923
- You're very surprised.
15
00:00:24,925 --> 00:00:27,893
You never expected that a
handsome important man like him
16
00:00:27,895 --> 00:00:30,396
would come into your
little diner of all places,
17
00:00:30,398 --> 00:00:31,730
and he's gonna sit
down next to you.
18
00:00:31,732 --> 00:00:33,265
And you're gonna wanna
get a two-shot of them
19
00:00:33,267 --> 00:00:35,034
talking from here, and ...
20
00:00:35,036 --> 00:00:36,802
No, no no, not yet!
21
00:00:40,340 --> 00:00:42,141
Get her another one.
22
00:00:44,377 --> 00:00:46,512
- You know what else
I'm not gonna miss?
23
00:00:46,514 --> 00:00:48,447
- Besides him? (laughs)
24
00:00:48,449 --> 00:00:49,448
- Diner coffee.
25
00:00:49,450 --> 00:00:51,383
- I know that's right.
26
00:00:51,385 --> 00:00:53,352
- How hard is it
to make a good cup?
27
00:00:53,354 --> 00:00:55,454
You just grind the beans,
pour the water over it.
28
00:00:55,456 --> 00:00:57,923
It's not like it takes a
genius to make a good cup.
29
00:00:57,925 --> 00:00:59,391
- [Woman In Black] Right.
30
00:00:59,393 --> 00:01:01,794
- Hey gang, what's
for breakfast?
31
00:01:01,796 --> 00:01:03,562
- Senator Kenny Weston!
32
00:01:03,564 --> 00:01:05,531
- That's right, hey it's
good to see you, folks.
33
00:01:05,533 --> 00:01:09,034
Ooh, you got the sausage.
That looks good!
34
00:01:09,036 --> 00:01:10,969
Excuse me, ma'am,
is this seat taken?
35
00:01:10,971 --> 00:01:12,204
- [Woman With Red Hair]
All yours, Senator.
36
00:01:12,206 --> 00:01:13,272
- Well thank you.
37
00:01:13,274 --> 00:01:15,040
Hey, don't mind me, folks.
38
00:01:15,042 --> 00:01:18,377
I just dropped by
for a little chow.
(crowd laughs)
39
00:01:18,379 --> 00:01:19,611
Well, hi there, Miss.
40
00:01:19,613 --> 00:01:21,246
- Morning, what can
I get you, Senator?
41
00:01:21,248 --> 00:01:23,048
- Uh, let's see, well
I will take the same
42
00:01:23,050 --> 00:01:24,550
as this lovely lady's having.
43
00:01:24,552 --> 00:01:26,718
Plus a cup of your most
delicious coffee, please.
44
00:01:26,720 --> 00:01:27,553
- Coming right up.
45
00:01:27,555 --> 00:01:28,954
- Thank you.
46
00:01:28,956 --> 00:01:31,223
And what is your
name, sweetheart?
47
00:01:31,225 --> 00:01:32,458
- I'm Betty Bauser.
48
00:01:32,460 --> 00:01:34,626
- Well, it's a pleasure
to meet you, Betty.
49
00:01:34,628 --> 00:01:38,063
Now is that B-O-W-S-E-R,
like the dog?
50
00:01:38,065 --> 00:01:40,766
- No, it's B-A-U-S-E-R.
51
00:01:40,967 --> 00:01:42,734
- Oh yeah, of course.
52
00:01:42,736 --> 00:01:44,503
You know, I once
knew a Bob Brauer,
53
00:01:44,505 --> 00:01:46,772
terrific tax lawyer
out of Dallas.
54
00:01:46,774 --> 00:01:48,340
I don't suppose
you're any relation.
55
00:01:48,342 --> 00:01:50,576
- No, I don't recall
having any relatives--
56
00:01:50,578 --> 00:01:52,578
- Don't listen to him, Betty.
57
00:01:52,580 --> 00:01:53,812
- Oh, shit.
58
00:01:53,814 --> 00:01:55,948
- He's a goddamn liar.
59
00:01:55,950 --> 00:01:57,249
- Oh ...
60
00:01:57,251 --> 00:01:59,351
- [Man With Mustache] He
voted for it nine times!
61
00:01:59,353 --> 00:02:00,919
- Oh, not again.
62
00:02:00,921 --> 00:02:01,920
- [Man With Mustache] Nine
times, you can look it up!
63
00:02:01,922 --> 00:02:03,422
- [Betty] Shut up, Earl.
64
00:02:03,424 --> 00:02:05,124
- My friend, if you would
like to discuss this calmly,
65
00:02:05,126 --> 00:02:06,325
I'd be glad to answer --
66
00:02:06,327 --> 00:02:08,260
- He wants to take away
our freedom, Betty.
67
00:02:08,262 --> 00:02:10,195
That's how it all starts!
68
00:02:10,197 --> 00:02:11,930
They check up on
your background.
69
00:02:11,932 --> 00:02:14,199
Then they roll in the
tanks and the artillery.
70
00:02:14,201 --> 00:02:15,134
Mark my words!
71
00:02:15,136 --> 00:02:16,835
- Earl, I told you to shut up!
72
00:02:16,837 --> 00:02:19,505
It's not bad enough I have
to listen to you 23 years.
73
00:02:19,507 --> 00:02:21,473
- Now, nobody's gonna take
away your freedom, my friend.
74
00:02:21,475 --> 00:02:24,143
In fact, I am a strong supporter
of the Second Amendment.
75
00:02:24,145 --> 00:02:26,378
- Like hell, you
voted nine times!
76
00:02:26,380 --> 00:02:27,613
- Sir, if I could talk to you
77
00:02:27,615 --> 00:02:28,280
for a moment privately.
- [Earl] I got nothing
78
00:02:28,282 --> 00:02:29,348
to say to you.
79
00:02:29,350 --> 00:02:30,516
Listen to me!
80
00:02:30,518 --> 00:02:32,017
We're all gonna be
slaves inside of a year!
81
00:02:32,019 --> 00:02:33,385
- [Betty] Earl!
- I'm gonna ask you to leave.
82
00:02:33,387 --> 00:02:34,520
- They got giant
lizard people
83
00:02:34,522 --> 00:02:35,354
running the Federal Reserve.
84
00:02:35,356 --> 00:02:36,488
I've seen pictures.
85
00:02:36,490 --> 00:02:39,158
Get your goddamn
reptile hands off of me!
86
00:02:39,160 --> 00:02:43,128
- [Betty] Earl! Ohhh! (gasps)
87
00:02:43,130 --> 00:02:44,963
- [Man in Brown] Okay folks,
we're gonna move on from here.
88
00:02:44,965 --> 00:02:46,298
It was very nice
to meet everyone.
89
00:02:46,300 --> 00:02:47,232
(laughing)
90
00:02:47,234 --> 00:02:49,635
No cameras, no cameras please.
91
00:02:49,637 --> 00:02:51,203
I said no cameras!
92
00:02:51,205 --> 00:02:52,971
♪ Stay on message
93
00:02:52,973 --> 00:02:55,507
♪ Project confidence
94
00:02:55,509 --> 00:02:59,311
♪ Say that you think
Washington is rotten
95
00:02:59,313 --> 00:03:01,480
♪ Just look relaxed
96
00:03:01,482 --> 00:03:03,815
♪ But if a questioner attacks
97
00:03:03,817 --> 00:03:07,753
♪ Digress until the
question is forgotten
98
00:03:07,755 --> 00:03:09,922
♪ You gotta keep it short
99
00:03:09,924 --> 00:03:12,424
♪ And make it snappy
100
00:03:12,426 --> 00:03:16,328
♪ Repeat it over and
over like a rhyme
101
00:03:16,330 --> 00:03:18,330
♪ Ideas that once seemed dense
102
00:03:18,332 --> 00:03:20,165
♪ Will feel like common sense
103
00:03:20,167 --> 00:03:23,902
♪ When they've heard
it over 1500 times
104
00:03:23,904 --> 00:03:26,271
♪ But if they press
you for a statement
105
00:03:26,273 --> 00:03:29,708
♪ And you're not sure it's okay
106
00:03:29,710 --> 00:03:31,276
♪ Remember
107
00:03:31,278 --> 00:03:33,178
♪ You never get in trouble
108
00:03:33,180 --> 00:03:37,349
♪ For something you don't say
109
00:03:37,351 --> 00:03:40,085
(bouncy music)
110
00:03:48,394 --> 00:03:51,496
(crickets and birds chirping)
111
00:03:52,365 --> 00:03:55,267
♪ God bless the U.S.A.
112
00:03:55,269 --> 00:03:58,036
♪ the land of the free
113
00:03:58,038 --> 00:04:01,039
♪ That good and
gracious promised land
114
00:04:01,041 --> 00:04:02,908
♪ Where we live in harmony
115
00:04:02,910 --> 00:04:04,309
♪ Harmony
116
00:04:04,311 --> 00:04:07,379
♪ Land of the Pilgrim's pride
117
00:04:07,381 --> 00:04:11,283
♪ Land where my fathers died
118
00:04:12,218 --> 00:04:16,288
♪ From every mountainside
119
00:04:16,290 --> 00:04:23,595
♪ This land's for you and me
120
00:04:24,464 --> 00:04:26,398
- Nice, great job, everybody.
121
00:04:26,400 --> 00:04:28,567
And just remember to
enunciate a little bit more,
122
00:04:28,569 --> 00:04:31,403
and don't forget to sing
on the vowels, okay?
123
00:04:31,405 --> 00:04:32,704
One more time.
124
00:04:34,307 --> 00:04:37,075
♪ God bless the USA
125
00:04:37,077 --> 00:04:38,644
♪ The land of the free
126
00:04:38,646 --> 00:04:40,078
♪ Land of the free
127
00:04:40,080 --> 00:04:43,248
♪ That good and
gracious promised land
128
00:04:43,250 --> 00:04:45,350
♪ Where we live in harmony
129
00:04:45,352 --> 00:04:46,618
♪ Harmony
130
00:04:46,620 --> 00:04:56,495
(dramatic music)
131
00:04:58,197 --> 00:05:00,132
- Another in a series
of humiliations
132
00:05:00,134 --> 00:05:03,101
for GOP presidential hopeful
Kenny Weston tonight,
133
00:05:03,103 --> 00:05:06,171
as a heckler disrupts
a routine photo op
134
00:05:06,173 --> 00:05:07,439
in a small town diner.
135
00:05:07,441 --> 00:05:09,274
Take a look at this
exclusive video,
136
00:05:09,276 --> 00:05:11,276
obtained by our news team.
137
00:05:11,278 --> 00:05:14,446
- ... pictures, get your
(bleep) reptile hands
off of me!
138
00:05:14,448 --> 00:05:16,682
- [Betty] Earl! Ohhh! (gasps)
139
00:05:16,684 --> 00:05:18,784
- Joining me now to
help make sense of
it all
140
00:05:18,786 --> 00:05:21,386
are our distinguished
panel of political experts.
141
00:05:21,388 --> 00:05:23,188
Thank you all for being here.
142
00:05:23,190 --> 00:05:24,956
To you first, Tom Tishkin.
143
00:05:24,958 --> 00:05:28,727
Is it time to write the
obituary on the Weston campaign?
144
00:05:28,729 --> 00:05:30,228
- If not the obituary,
145
00:05:30,230 --> 00:05:32,798
at least the do not
resuscitate order.
146
00:05:32,800 --> 00:05:33,799
- Good one, Tom.
147
00:05:33,801 --> 00:05:35,801
Rolando Iglesias, your thoughts?
148
00:05:35,803 --> 00:05:39,171
- Well look, the optics on
this are absolutely terrible
for --
149
00:05:39,173 --> 00:05:40,872
- [Kenny] Well, shoot.
150
00:05:40,874 --> 00:05:44,009
- [Man In Black] Not so fast.
151
00:05:44,011 --> 00:05:45,377
- Not so fast?
152
00:05:45,379 --> 00:05:47,546
We've been doing
this for two years.
153
00:05:47,548 --> 00:05:49,981
- That's because you haven't
been stroking the base enough.
154
00:05:49,983 --> 00:05:51,383
That heckler could
have been a supporter.
155
00:05:51,385 --> 00:05:52,884
- That heckler was a whack job.
156
00:05:52,886 --> 00:05:54,920
- Maybe, but he represents
a key demographic.
157
00:05:54,922 --> 00:05:57,389
- (laughs) The delusional?
158
00:05:57,391 --> 00:05:58,990
- Look, Kenny it's
like I've been saying.
159
00:05:58,992 --> 00:06:01,226
This is the perfect time to
reboot and move right.
160
00:06:01,228 --> 00:06:03,161
- Um, he has a voting
record, remember?
161
00:06:03,163 --> 00:06:05,731
- Right, he's a moderate
inclusive Republican.
162
00:06:05,733 --> 00:06:07,366
That's always been our brand.
163
00:06:07,368 --> 00:06:09,167
- Well, I'm sorry, but
your brand is boring.
164
00:06:09,169 --> 00:06:10,836
People wanna feel something.
165
00:06:10,838 --> 00:06:12,371
It's like Atwater said,
166
00:06:12,373 --> 00:06:15,040
"Grab 'em by the balls and
their votes will follow."
167
00:06:15,042 --> 00:06:17,008
-Yeah, like that's really
gonna help with the gender gap.
168
00:06:17,010 --> 00:06:19,378
- Shh, I'm trying to think.
169
00:06:20,613 --> 00:06:22,447
Yeah, I don't know,
what do you think?
170
00:06:22,449 --> 00:06:23,682
- Look, once you
get the nomination,
171
00:06:23,684 --> 00:06:24,950
you can take any
lukewarm bullshit
172
00:06:24,952 --> 00:06:26,518
middle of the road
position you want.
173
00:06:26,520 --> 00:06:27,686
But for now--
174
00:06:27,688 --> 00:06:29,721
- No, he can't,
it's all on YouTube.
175
00:06:29,723 --> 00:06:31,356
- They'll flip-flop us.
176
00:06:31,358 --> 00:06:32,624
- Alright, well maybe we
177
00:06:32,626 --> 00:06:34,526
after we see how things
go at the megachurch.
178
00:06:34,528 --> 00:06:35,861
- The Megachurch cancelled.
179
00:06:35,863 --> 00:06:37,429
- What?
180
00:06:37,431 --> 00:06:39,030
- They heard about the diner,
181
00:06:39,032 --> 00:06:41,032
but I was able to get
us another church.
182
00:06:41,034 --> 00:06:42,033
- Where?
183
00:06:42,035 --> 00:06:43,368
- It's little off the beaten
track,
184
00:06:43,370 --> 00:06:45,804
but, the pastor's very
excited to meet you.
185
00:06:45,806 --> 00:06:47,539
- Oh, we should just cancel.
186
00:06:47,541 --> 00:06:50,208
- You cancel that rally,
you send up a white flag.
187
00:06:50,210 --> 00:06:53,211
- Alright, alright,
we'll do the church.
188
00:06:53,213 --> 00:06:55,680
Just get it over with, alright?
189
00:06:57,216 --> 00:07:00,352
(church organ music)
190
00:07:02,889 --> 00:07:05,791
- Heavenly father, we
are so blessed to have
191
00:07:05,793 --> 00:07:07,993
Senator Kenny Weston and
his distinguished colleagues
192
00:07:07,995 --> 00:07:09,895
here with us today.
193
00:07:09,897 --> 00:07:12,264
Please grant them
good health and wisdom
194
00:07:12,266 --> 00:07:15,567
as they seek the leadership
of this great land.
195
00:07:15,569 --> 00:07:19,571
Lord, we ask your help
in guiding us to choose
196
00:07:19,573 --> 00:07:21,907
the best steward of thy people,
197
00:07:21,909 --> 00:07:23,775
the candidate best
able to restore
198
00:07:23,777 --> 00:07:26,111
and strengthen our
American family.
199
00:07:26,113 --> 00:07:28,647
For we know it
true that a nation
200
00:07:28,649 --> 00:07:31,383
is only as strong as its homes.
201
00:07:32,418 --> 00:07:34,920
Father, we know
that this election
202
00:07:34,922 --> 00:07:36,955
may be the most
important election
203
00:07:36,957 --> 00:07:38,590
in our lifetime.
204
00:07:38,592 --> 00:07:40,492
With so much at stake,
205
00:07:40,494 --> 00:07:42,327
and so many things
seem to be changing
206
00:07:42,329 --> 00:07:44,262
in the wrong direction lately.
207
00:07:44,264 --> 00:07:47,432
Help us protect
this precious land.
208
00:07:47,434 --> 00:07:50,669
In Jesus' name we pray, amen.
209
00:07:50,671 --> 00:07:51,937
- [All] Amen.
210
00:07:51,939 --> 00:07:55,674
- Well, Senator, I'm sure
the people here are anxious
211
00:07:55,676 --> 00:07:58,376
to ask you questions
about important issues,
212
00:07:58,378 --> 00:07:59,978
but before we do that
213
00:07:59,980 --> 00:08:02,314
we have a special
surprise for you.
214
00:08:02,316 --> 00:08:06,117
- Oh, well I sure hope
it doesn't involve eggs.
215
00:08:06,119 --> 00:08:08,553
(congregation
erupts in laughter)
216
00:08:08,555 --> 00:08:10,155
- I promise, no eggs this time,
217
00:08:10,157 --> 00:08:13,658
but in appreciation of your
long service for our country
218
00:08:13,660 --> 00:08:15,293
our congregation would
like to offer you
219
00:08:15,295 --> 00:08:18,396
a patriotic serenade
written and composed,
220
00:08:18,398 --> 00:08:21,366
if I may be able to
boast just a little bit,
221
00:08:21,368 --> 00:08:24,102
by my lovely daughter, Liberty,
222
00:08:25,137 --> 00:08:26,404
who as a matter of fact
wrote the whole thing
223
00:08:26,406 --> 00:08:28,406
when she was all
of 12 years old.
224
00:08:28,408 --> 00:08:29,574
- Is that right?
225
00:08:29,576 --> 00:08:30,642
- Oy vey.
226
00:08:30,644 --> 00:08:33,211
- It's all you, honeybun.
227
00:08:33,213 --> 00:08:36,548
(Country pop music)
228
00:08:49,662 --> 00:08:50,629
- Okay.
229
00:08:54,667 --> 00:08:58,270
♪ Well, they set out on
the ocean
230
00:08:58,272 --> 00:09:01,573
♪ Leaving misery behind
231
00:09:01,575 --> 00:09:05,176
♪ They were searching
for a purity
232
00:09:05,178 --> 00:09:09,481
♪ Didn't know what
they would find
233
00:09:10,783 --> 00:09:14,019
♪ They just wanted
to be faithful
234
00:09:14,021 --> 00:09:18,390
♪ To be free and left alone
235
00:09:19,225 --> 00:09:23,361
♪ So when they saw
that Massachusetts rock
236
00:09:23,363 --> 00:09:27,365
♪ They knew that
they'd found home ♪
237
00:09:27,367 --> 00:09:29,034
(applause and cheers)
238
00:09:29,036 --> 00:09:32,437
Come on everybody, put
your hands in the air!
239
00:09:32,439 --> 00:09:35,974
♪ God bless the USA
240
00:09:35,976 --> 00:09:37,909
♪ The land of the free
241
00:09:37,911 --> 00:09:39,544
♪ Land of the free
242
00:09:39,546 --> 00:09:42,948
♪ That good and
gracious promised land
243
00:09:42,950 --> 00:09:45,116
♪ Where we live in harmony
244
00:09:45,118 --> 00:09:46,618
♪ Harmony
245
00:09:46,620 --> 00:09:50,221
♪ Land of the Pilgrim's pride
246
00:09:50,223 --> 00:09:54,059
♪ Land where my fathers died
247
00:09:55,761 --> 00:09:59,397
♪ From every mountainside
248
00:10:00,833 --> 00:10:04,736
♪ This land's for you and
249
00:10:04,738 --> 00:10:08,607
♪ Me
250
00:10:08,609 --> 00:10:12,911
(cheering and applause)
(loud guitar solo)
251
00:10:34,934 --> 00:10:37,469
- [Nikki] She's a
stupid fundamentalist.
252
00:10:37,471 --> 00:10:38,870
- Exactly.
253
00:10:38,872 --> 00:10:40,538
And she's from a
battleground state,
254
00:10:40,540 --> 00:10:41,706
not to mention
she's totally hot,
255
00:10:41,708 --> 00:10:43,441
which seals the Bubba vote.
256
00:10:43,443 --> 00:10:45,510
- Not to mention, you're a pig.
257
00:10:45,512 --> 00:10:48,213
- Oh, sticks and stones.
258
00:10:48,215 --> 00:10:50,448
- Alright, that's
enough of that, you two.
259
00:10:50,450 --> 00:10:52,550
- Kenny, I'm telling you, this
is our once chance to win.
260
00:10:52,552 --> 00:10:54,986
- What, American Idol?
261
00:10:54,988 --> 00:10:56,454
- What about the issues?
262
00:10:56,456 --> 00:10:57,956
What about our agenda?
263
00:10:57,958 --> 00:10:59,791
Remember "The New
Party of Lincoln?"
264
00:10:59,793 --> 00:11:01,660
- Look, you can forget
about your agenda
265
00:11:01,662 --> 00:11:02,994
if we don't get that nomination.
266
00:11:02,996 --> 00:11:04,462
And the only way
we're gonna get it
267
00:11:04,464 --> 00:11:06,698
is by splitting off the
bible nuts or Tea Partiers.
268
00:11:06,700 --> 00:11:08,800
- No way those people
are gonna vote for Kenny.
269
00:11:08,802 --> 00:11:12,804
- Yeah, but they might
vote for Liberty.
270
00:11:12,806 --> 00:11:14,873
- You still won't
have enough delegates.
271
00:11:14,875 --> 00:11:17,475
- Nobody does, so we
force a second ballot.
272
00:11:17,477 --> 00:11:19,010
- This is so corrupt.
273
00:11:19,012 --> 00:11:22,547
- Oh, I'm sorry if I've offended
your high moral standards.
274
00:11:22,549 --> 00:11:25,316
- Alright, so Dick, if I'm
getting what you're saying here,
275
00:11:25,318 --> 00:11:27,485
we still got a chance
to win this thing?
276
00:11:27,487 --> 00:11:28,353
- Correct.
277
00:11:28,355 --> 00:11:30,221
What do you say?
278
00:11:30,223 --> 00:11:31,322
- 'Bout what?
279
00:11:31,324 --> 00:11:33,591
- The girl as your surrogate.
280
00:11:33,593 --> 00:11:34,426
- What do you mean?
281
00:11:34,428 --> 00:11:35,260
For impotency stuff?
282
00:11:35,262 --> 00:11:36,194
I don't need any ...
283
00:11:36,196 --> 00:11:38,997
- No, your political surrogate.
284
00:11:38,999 --> 00:11:39,964
- Oh.
285
00:11:40,833 --> 00:11:43,168
Well she is very appealing
286
00:11:43,170 --> 00:11:47,405
and people did seem to
respond to her singing, so ...
287
00:11:47,407 --> 00:11:48,673
Yeah, sure, why not?
288
00:11:48,675 --> 00:11:50,742
Let's do it, that
thing you said.
289
00:11:50,744 --> 00:11:52,110
The suffragette.
290
00:11:52,112 --> 00:11:53,211
- Surrogate.
291
00:11:53,213 --> 00:11:54,179
- Right.
292
00:11:57,249 --> 00:11:58,216
- So,
293
00:11:58,218 --> 00:12:01,519
It doesn't matter whether
we like it or not.
294
00:12:01,521 --> 00:12:04,522
That's just the way God made us,
295
00:12:04,524 --> 00:12:06,191
full of the dickens
296
00:12:06,193 --> 00:12:07,592
and want things that
aren't good for us.
297
00:12:07,594 --> 00:12:08,693
Am I right about that?
298
00:12:08,695 --> 00:12:09,794
(congregation
murmurs approval)
299
00:12:09,796 --> 00:12:12,397
But, just because I see it,
300
00:12:12,399 --> 00:12:14,566
doesn't mean I gotta have it.
301
00:12:14,568 --> 00:12:16,201
And just because I like it,
302
00:12:16,203 --> 00:12:18,770
doesn't mean I gotta take it.
303
00:12:21,040 --> 00:12:22,974
Now, don't think it's
any easier for me
304
00:12:22,976 --> 00:12:24,976
because I'm a preacher,
305
00:12:24,978 --> 00:12:27,278
because I am a man of God.
306
00:12:28,214 --> 00:12:29,180
Shoot.
307
00:12:29,182 --> 00:12:31,950
I probably got more
sins than all of you!
308
00:12:31,952 --> 00:12:34,552
(laughter)
309
00:12:34,554 --> 00:12:37,155
Now, I'm not trying
to shock you.
310
00:12:37,157 --> 00:12:40,558
I'm just telling you like it is.
311
00:12:40,560 --> 00:12:44,629
Because if you don't face
the truth, then what?
312
00:12:45,664 --> 00:12:47,799
You're shrouded in
a cloud of darkness.
313
00:12:47,801 --> 00:12:49,234
That's what the Bible says.
314
00:12:49,236 --> 00:12:51,970
(congregation
mutters agreement)
315
00:12:51,972 --> 00:12:53,872
Oh, the young people.
316
00:12:55,975 --> 00:12:58,143
They say, "Reverend Smith,
317
00:12:58,145 --> 00:13:00,011
"I like your preaching.
318
00:13:00,013 --> 00:13:01,780
"I like your sermons.
319
00:13:01,782 --> 00:13:04,816
"But why do you go
on and on about sin?
320
00:13:04,818 --> 00:13:07,752
"Why are you always
so judgemental?"
321
00:13:07,754 --> 00:13:12,557
And I say, "I'm not
judging anybody.
322
00:13:12,691 --> 00:13:15,160
"I'm just saying
to them
323
00:13:15,162 --> 00:13:17,695
"they can get clean!"
324
00:13:17,697 --> 00:13:20,799
'Cause you see, God
is a great cleanser.
325
00:13:20,801 --> 00:13:24,135
He's like a spiritual washcloth.
326
00:13:24,137 --> 00:13:25,370
He can wipe away your sins,
327
00:13:25,372 --> 00:13:27,939
but you gotta put
in the elbow grease!
328
00:13:27,941 --> 00:13:29,974
I'm saying to you, church,
329
00:13:29,976 --> 00:13:33,011
you got to get down on
your hands and knees
330
00:13:33,013 --> 00:13:35,446
and start scrubbin'!
331
00:13:35,448 --> 00:13:36,447
(Congregation shouts
approval)
332
00:13:36,449 --> 00:13:37,615
(gospel piano music)
333
00:13:37,617 --> 00:13:39,450
♪ Now when I was a young boy
334
00:13:39,452 --> 00:13:41,186
♪ Upon my Momma's knee
335
00:13:41,188 --> 00:13:43,788
♪ I used to steal
some extra candy
336
00:13:43,790 --> 00:13:46,991
♪ If I thought
that she won't see
337
00:13:46,993 --> 00:13:49,294
♪ But Momma caught
me creeping and
338
00:13:49,296 --> 00:13:52,030
♪ She knew that I had stole
339
00:13:52,032 --> 00:13:54,065
♪ Said, "Boy you
better rub a dub dub
340
00:13:54,067 --> 00:13:55,066
♪ Bubble and scrub
341
00:13:55,068 --> 00:13:57,235
♪ Deep down in your soul!"
342
00:13:57,237 --> 00:14:01,840
♪ Bubble and scrub,
bubble and scrub
343
00:14:01,842 --> 00:14:03,575
♪ God will bless you double
344
00:14:03,577 --> 00:14:05,810
♪ If you only take the trouble
345
00:14:05,812 --> 00:14:08,246
♪ To get down on your knees with
346
00:14:08,248 --> 00:14:11,482
♪ The good old Spic and Span
347
00:14:11,484 --> 00:14:13,484
♪ Rub a dub dub,
bubble and scrub
348
00:14:13,486 --> 00:14:16,788
♪ Like only Jesus can!
349
00:14:19,091 --> 00:14:20,925
♪ I used to be a drunkard
350
00:14:20,927 --> 00:14:23,061
♪ Who stunk of beer and gin
351
00:14:23,063 --> 00:14:25,163
♪ I'd wake up in the gutter
352
00:14:25,165 --> 00:14:28,099
♪ Couldn't tell
you where I've been
353
00:14:28,101 --> 00:14:30,501
♪ But the good Lord
put me in a washer
354
00:14:30,503 --> 00:14:34,172
♪ And he spun me round and round
355
00:14:34,174 --> 00:14:36,875
♪ Rub a dub dub,
bubble and scrub
356
00:14:36,877 --> 00:14:40,745
♪ Was lost but now I'm found!
357
00:14:40,747 --> 00:14:42,914
♪ Oh yes you better
bubble and scrub
358
00:14:42,916 --> 00:14:45,016
♪ Oh yes you better
scrub my children
359
00:14:45,018 --> 00:14:46,551
♪ God will bless you double
♪ Ooh ooh
360
00:14:46,553 --> 00:14:48,620
♪ If you only take the trouble
361
00:14:48,622 --> 00:14:50,855
♪ To get down on your knees
362
00:14:50,857 --> 00:14:54,525
♪ With the good
old Spic and Span
363
00:14:54,527 --> 00:14:56,761
♪ Rub a dub dub,
bubble and scrub
364
00:14:56,763 --> 00:15:00,832
♪ Like only Jesus can
365
00:15:00,933 --> 00:15:05,436
♪ I used to
play the ponies
366
00:15:05,438 --> 00:15:09,674
♪ And bet on loaded dice
367
00:15:09,775 --> 00:15:14,012
♪ I'd even stoop
to Bingo
368
00:15:14,113 --> 00:15:19,417
♪ So filthy
was my vice
369
00:15:21,086 --> 00:15:26,057
♪ But with my
Savior's spot remover
370
00:15:26,392 --> 00:15:32,897
♪ And a bleach of heavenly light
371
00:15:35,067 --> 00:15:38,603
♪ Rub a dub dub,
bubble and scrub
372
00:15:38,605 --> 00:15:42,407
♪ My blackened soul is white!
373
00:15:42,409 --> 00:15:44,409
♪ The Lord will cleanse you
374
00:15:44,411 --> 00:15:46,911
♪ Deep down in your soul
375
00:15:46,913 --> 00:15:48,746
♪ He'll wash and send you
376
00:15:48,748 --> 00:15:50,581
♪ To your heavenly goal
377
00:15:50,583 --> 00:15:52,517
♪ Well it's time
to put the plunger
378
00:15:52,519 --> 00:15:55,286
♪ To that funky bowl of Sin
379
00:15:55,288 --> 00:15:57,522
♪ Flush it down with
a joyful sound
380
00:15:57,524 --> 00:16:00,091
♪ And let the sunshine in
381
00:16:00,093 --> 00:16:03,261
(saloon piano music)
382
00:16:13,539 --> 00:16:19,510
♪ (striptease music)
I used to dance for money
383
00:16:20,145 --> 00:16:25,183
♪ On a shiny pole of brass
384
00:16:25,951 --> 00:16:31,489
♪ And if a gentleman
tipped me big enough
385
00:16:31,790 --> 00:16:34,625
♪ Well I'd show him
386
00:16:34,627 --> 00:16:36,361
♪ Some of my
387
00:16:36,363 --> 00:16:37,829
class!
388
00:16:41,333 --> 00:16:44,135
♪ But a missionary found me
389
00:16:44,137 --> 00:16:50,274
♪ And then he saved
me from perdition
390
00:16:50,476 --> 00:16:52,677
♪ It was a rub
391
00:16:52,679 --> 00:16:54,345
♪ Dub
392
00:16:54,347 --> 00:16:57,849
♪ Bubble and scrub
393
00:16:57,851 --> 00:17:01,619
♪ He taught me his ...
394
00:17:02,354 --> 00:17:06,991
♪ position.
395
00:17:06,993 --> 00:17:10,995
♪ (sexy saxophone)
396
00:17:12,398 --> 00:17:14,732
♪ Bubble and scrub
(old-timey gospel music)
397
00:17:14,734 --> 00:17:16,768
♪ Bubble and scrub
398
00:17:16,770 --> 00:17:18,503
♪ God'll bless you double
399
00:17:18,505 --> 00:17:20,505
♪ If you only take the trouble
400
00:17:20,507 --> 00:17:22,607
♪ To get down on your knees
401
00:17:22,609 --> 00:17:27,211
♪ With the good
old Spic and Span
402
00:17:27,213 --> 00:17:29,180
♪ Rub a dub dub,
bubble and scrub
403
00:17:29,182 --> 00:17:35,253
♪ Like only Jesus can
404
00:17:35,454 --> 00:17:38,723
- Oh, good church, good
church, good church!
405
00:17:38,725 --> 00:17:39,991
Hallelujah!
406
00:17:41,427 --> 00:17:43,861
Are there any announcements
over there, Belva?
407
00:17:43,863 --> 00:17:44,896
- Thank you Reverend.
408
00:17:44,898 --> 00:17:45,863
- Uh huh.
409
00:17:45,865 --> 00:17:47,031
(clears throat)
410
00:17:47,033 --> 00:17:48,533
Friday is the last day
(soft organ music)
411
00:17:48,535 --> 00:17:50,902
to take your chance on
winning that family trip
412
00:17:50,904 --> 00:17:52,970
to the John The
Baptist Water Park,
413
00:17:52,972 --> 00:17:55,573
so make sure you see
Esther after the service
414
00:17:55,575 --> 00:17:57,075
to get your ticket.
415
00:17:57,077 --> 00:17:59,911
And we have a special
visitor again today,
416
00:17:59,913 --> 00:18:01,646
Senator Kenny Weston.
417
00:18:01,648 --> 00:18:04,015
(applause)
418
00:18:05,050 --> 00:18:07,485
Senator, did you want
to say a few words?
419
00:18:07,487 --> 00:18:08,319
- Oh.
420
00:18:08,321 --> 00:18:09,720
- No, thank you ma'am.
421
00:18:09,722 --> 00:18:11,322
He's just here to
worship humbly before God
422
00:18:11,324 --> 00:18:13,291
and he does every Sunday.
423
00:18:13,293 --> 00:18:14,826
- Alright, then.
424
00:18:14,828 --> 00:18:17,428
I know you're all gonna give
Senator Weston and his team
425
00:18:17,430 --> 00:18:20,565
a very warm welcome
when you see them.
426
00:18:20,567 --> 00:18:22,934
And don't forget, the
ladies' Bible study
427
00:18:22,936 --> 00:18:25,103
will not be meeting
this Wednesday
428
00:18:25,105 --> 00:18:28,739
owing to the problems with
the downstairs plumbing.
429
00:18:28,741 --> 00:18:31,742
And softball practice
will be held on Wednesday,
430
00:18:31,744 --> 00:18:35,713
7 p.m. at the high school,
field number three.
431
00:18:37,416 --> 00:18:40,017
- (laughs) And then the
southern Baptist says,
432
00:18:40,019 --> 00:18:41,452
"God, you didn't hear me.
433
00:18:41,454 --> 00:18:44,422
"I said full of Grace,
not full of grease!"
434
00:18:44,424 --> 00:18:46,257
(laughing)
435
00:18:46,259 --> 00:18:47,992
- Oh, that's a
good one, Reverend.
436
00:18:47,994 --> 00:18:50,428
- Daddy, that is so
old and so corny.
437
00:18:50,430 --> 00:18:51,929
- I know, but they're
laughing aren't they?
438
00:18:51,931 --> 00:18:53,331
- Oh, Reverend, I'd
like to introduce you
439
00:18:53,333 --> 00:18:54,699
to my campaign team.
440
00:18:54,701 --> 00:18:56,667
This is my Chief
Strategist, Dick Dinkler.
441
00:18:56,669 --> 00:18:58,169
- [Reverend] What a
pleasure to meet you, sir.
442
00:18:58,171 --> 00:18:59,604
- Very pleased to
meet you, Reverend.
443
00:18:59,606 --> 00:19:01,139
I thought you gave a
terrific sermon today.
444
00:19:01,141 --> 00:19:02,807
Really thought provoking.
445
00:19:02,809 --> 00:19:04,675
- Oh well, thank you.
446
00:19:04,677 --> 00:19:06,711
- And this is my
communications director,
447
00:19:06,713 --> 00:19:07,945
Miss Nicole Levine.
448
00:19:07,947 --> 00:19:08,880
- Well, good for you.
449
00:19:08,882 --> 00:19:10,314
A director at such a young age.
450
00:19:10,316 --> 00:19:12,216
You must be very
good at what you do.
451
00:19:12,218 --> 00:19:14,452
- Oh she is, outstanding.
452
00:19:14,454 --> 00:19:15,720
- Levine, huh?
453
00:19:15,722 --> 00:19:17,622
That means you're from
the tribe of Levi,
454
00:19:17,624 --> 00:19:20,324
the ministers of the
ancient temple of Israel.
455
00:19:20,326 --> 00:19:22,193
That means you and I
have a lot in common.
456
00:19:22,195 --> 00:19:23,961
In fact, I had the opportunity
457
00:19:23,963 --> 00:19:26,731
to visit the Holy
Land just last year.
458
00:19:26,733 --> 00:19:28,166
Have you been there?
459
00:19:28,168 --> 00:19:29,834
- I'm afraid I have not.
460
00:19:29,836 --> 00:19:32,837
- Well, you gotta get there
while you have the chance.
461
00:19:32,839 --> 00:19:35,072
Makes you appreciate we
Christians have to thank
462
00:19:35,074 --> 00:19:36,641
our Jewish brethern for.
463
00:19:36,643 --> 00:19:38,910
- Well, we did let you
borrow some of our books.
464
00:19:38,912 --> 00:19:40,077
(Liberty giggles)
465
00:19:40,079 --> 00:19:41,679
- Oh, the Bible books.
466
00:19:41,681 --> 00:19:43,214
Oh, that's a good
one, Miss Levine.
467
00:19:43,216 --> 00:19:44,048
You gotta keep her.
468
00:19:44,050 --> 00:19:46,484
- Oh yeah, we'll never
let go of Nicole.
469
00:19:46,486 --> 00:19:47,885
You know, she started with us
470
00:19:47,887 --> 00:19:49,654
when she was just a
sophomore at Brandeis.
471
00:19:49,656 --> 00:19:52,223
- Kenny, I have
something to show you.
472
00:19:52,225 --> 00:19:53,424
I don't think that,
I wanna know--
473
00:19:53,426 --> 00:19:55,026
- And who is this lovely lady?
474
00:19:55,028 --> 00:19:56,861
- Well, this is my
Campaign Manager,
475
00:19:56,863 --> 00:19:58,162
Yolanda Jones.
476
00:19:58,164 --> 00:20:00,097
- Who happens to be a
very devout Christian.
477
00:20:00,099 --> 00:20:02,333
- [Reverend] Oh, it's a pleasure
to meet you, Mrs. Jones.
478
00:20:02,335 --> 00:20:05,636
- Ms., nice to meet
you too, Reverend.
479
00:20:06,939 --> 00:20:08,739
- Well, before you go,
480
00:20:08,741 --> 00:20:09,907
would you all like to join us
481
00:20:09,909 --> 00:20:11,709
for some coffee and fellowship?
482
00:20:11,711 --> 00:20:13,544
Liberty has made some cupcakes.
483
00:20:13,546 --> 00:20:15,079
- Of course we would.
484
00:20:15,081 --> 00:20:17,181
- But there is something we
would like to ask you first.
485
00:20:17,183 --> 00:20:18,549
- You and Liberty here.
486
00:20:18,551 --> 00:20:19,784
- [Reverend] Oh?
487
00:20:19,786 --> 00:20:21,018
- Well, we were
just so impressed
488
00:20:21,020 --> 00:20:22,253
by your daughter's
performance yesterday.
489
00:20:22,255 --> 00:20:23,454
Somehow she just really managed
490
00:20:23,456 --> 00:20:25,256
to capture the
spirit of America.
491
00:20:25,258 --> 00:20:29,126
- So we were wondering if
she might consider joining us
492
00:20:29,128 --> 00:20:31,462
on the campaign
trail for a while?
493
00:20:31,464 --> 00:20:33,231
- You, you want me to sing?
494
00:20:33,233 --> 00:20:35,933
- Well yeah, sing, and be a ...
495
00:20:35,935 --> 00:20:37,134
- We'd like you to be
496
00:20:37,136 --> 00:20:39,870
a featured spokesperson
for the campaign.
497
00:20:39,872 --> 00:20:40,805
- I don't know.
498
00:20:40,807 --> 00:20:42,440
Daddy, what do you think?
499
00:20:42,442 --> 00:20:44,809
- Well, Senator
Weston and his team
500
00:20:44,811 --> 00:20:46,978
seem like nice people.
501
00:20:46,980 --> 00:20:48,312
And you do say you're pro life?
502
00:20:48,314 --> 00:20:49,614
- Absolutely.
503
00:20:49,616 --> 00:20:51,282
I believe that life
begins at inception.
504
00:20:51,284 --> 00:20:52,116
- [Dick] Conception.
505
00:20:52,118 --> 00:20:55,186
- (mumbles) Thing.
506
00:20:56,822 --> 00:20:58,823
- There's one thing
that concerns me
507
00:20:58,825 --> 00:21:01,092
is that the girl hasn't been
away from home very much
508
00:21:01,094 --> 00:21:03,094
and I have heard of the
activities that happen
509
00:21:03,096 --> 00:21:04,495
on the campaign trail,
510
00:21:04,497 --> 00:21:05,796
especially behind the scenes.
511
00:21:05,798 --> 00:21:07,064
- Daddy.
512
00:21:07,066 --> 00:21:08,232
I'm 24 years old.
513
00:21:08,234 --> 00:21:09,600
I went to college.
514
00:21:09,602 --> 00:21:11,135
- That's exactly why
we would be assigning
515
00:21:11,137 --> 00:21:14,071
Miss Levine to be Liberty's
personal chaperone,
516
00:21:14,073 --> 00:21:16,173
to make sure she's
absolutely safe.
517
00:21:16,175 --> 00:21:18,175
- Well, if that's the case,
518
00:21:18,177 --> 00:21:20,478
then it's a done deal. (laughs)
519
00:21:20,480 --> 00:21:22,146
If that's okay with
you, Miss Liberty.
520
00:21:22,148 --> 00:21:23,114
- Well, I guess if you--
521
00:21:23,116 --> 00:21:24,081
- Terrific.
522
00:21:24,083 --> 00:21:26,317
to Washington for a few days.
523
00:21:26,319 --> 00:21:27,685
- Yep, gotta make some votes.
524
00:21:27,687 --> 00:21:29,020
- But how about you
pack up your things
525
00:21:29,022 --> 00:21:31,522
and Levine, I mean, Nicole,
526
00:21:31,524 --> 00:21:33,924
picks you up right here,
day after tomorrow?
527
00:21:33,926 --> 00:21:34,759
- Okay.
528
00:21:34,761 --> 00:21:36,661
(Nikki clears throat)
529
00:21:36,663 --> 00:21:38,929
- Now, who wants some cupcakes?
530
00:21:38,931 --> 00:21:39,764
- Oh!
531
00:21:39,766 --> 00:21:40,598
- Let's go!
532
00:21:40,600 --> 00:21:41,432
- Okay.
533
00:21:41,434 --> 00:21:42,533
- I made a bunch.
534
00:21:42,535 --> 00:21:43,501
- A bunch?
535
00:21:43,503 --> 00:21:44,468
- [Liberty] (giggles) Yeah.
536
00:21:44,470 --> 00:21:45,436
- [Kenny] Maybe I'll eat two.
537
00:21:45,438 --> 00:21:48,172
(bouncy music)
538
00:21:58,450 --> 00:21:59,684
- We're thinking her colors
539
00:21:59,686 --> 00:22:00,885
would be the traditional
red, white, and blue,
540
00:22:00,887 --> 00:22:02,386
with a special emphasis on white
541
00:22:02,388 --> 00:22:03,621
to symbolize purity.
542
00:22:03,623 --> 00:22:04,455
- [Kenny] I like it.
543
00:22:04,457 --> 00:22:05,523
You got any pictures?
544
00:22:05,525 --> 00:22:07,124
- Here is the concept poster
545
00:22:07,126 --> 00:22:09,493
the focus groups responded to.
546
00:22:09,495 --> 00:22:13,130
We're thinking a silo,
maybe some grazing cattle.
547
00:22:13,132 --> 00:22:16,133
- How about you put
her on a wild mustang?
548
00:22:16,135 --> 00:22:16,967
(laughing)
549
00:22:16,969 --> 00:22:17,868
- Nice.
550
00:22:17,870 --> 00:22:19,403
Yeah, catchy slogan, too.
551
00:22:19,405 --> 00:22:20,638
- Now are you
sure you want to quote
552
00:22:20,640 --> 00:22:22,039
a famous bisexual?
553
00:22:22,041 --> 00:22:23,307
- [Dick] What?
554
00:22:23,309 --> 00:22:25,343
- Well, you know that's
Walt Whitman, don't you?
555
00:22:25,345 --> 00:22:27,478
- Whatever, these people
don't read poetry.
556
00:22:27,480 --> 00:22:28,746
- If they can read at all.
557
00:22:28,748 --> 00:22:30,147
- (scolding) Nikki.
558
00:22:30,149 --> 00:22:31,349
- And on the bumper stickers,
559
00:22:31,351 --> 00:22:33,250
we're thinking just,
"I sing America."
560
00:22:33,252 --> 00:22:34,719
- Perfect.
561
00:22:34,721 --> 00:22:36,220
- Great, I'll get them
working on the first spot.
562
00:22:36,222 --> 00:22:38,522
Wait till you see the t-shirts.
563
00:22:39,591 --> 00:22:42,827
♪ Ooh yeah
(electric dance music)
564
00:22:42,829 --> 00:22:46,263
- I can't believe he
made me her babysitter.
565
00:22:46,265 --> 00:22:48,566
- She seems perfectly competent.
566
00:22:48,568 --> 00:22:50,101
I'm sure you don't
actually have to--
567
00:22:50,103 --> 00:22:51,869
- I should just quit now.
568
00:22:51,871 --> 00:22:54,004
- And let him take over?
569
00:22:54,006 --> 00:22:58,776
I'm not even sure that I want
to work in politics anymore.
570
00:22:58,778 --> 00:23:01,545
Oh, and her Daddy?
571
00:23:02,013 --> 00:23:03,647
- He's not so bad.
572
00:23:04,416 --> 00:23:06,684
- Whose side are you on, anyway?
573
00:23:06,686 --> 00:23:08,719
- Your side, baby girl, always.
574
00:23:08,721 --> 00:23:10,354
You know that.
575
00:23:10,356 --> 00:23:13,924
But sometimes you're a
little quick to judge people.
576
00:23:13,926 --> 00:23:15,459
- I'm judgmental?
577
00:23:15,461 --> 00:23:17,094
- Sometimes, yeah.
578
00:23:18,864 --> 00:23:22,233
Actually, it's kinda funny,
when you think about it.
579
00:23:22,235 --> 00:23:26,704
I mean, if he only
knew. (laughing)
580
00:23:26,706 --> 00:23:28,372
- Nikki?
581
00:23:29,074 --> 00:23:30,574
- Hey.
582
00:23:30,576 --> 00:23:33,744
- We should so get together.
583
00:23:33,746 --> 00:23:35,546
I got a new hot tub.
584
00:23:35,548 --> 00:23:37,181
- I'm really busy.
585
00:23:38,650 --> 00:23:41,552
- (scoffs) Fine.
586
00:23:42,988 --> 00:23:44,722
- [Yolanda] You could have
at least talked to her.
587
00:23:44,724 --> 00:23:46,624
- That girl is
not about talking.
588
00:23:46,626 --> 00:23:48,292
(Yolanda laughs)
589
00:23:55,267 --> 00:23:58,068
- (laugh/sigh) Can you sit
on this for a second?
590
00:23:58,070 --> 00:24:00,237
(laughs)
591
00:24:01,339 --> 00:24:04,008
(clears throat)
592
00:24:04,010 --> 00:24:07,411
- (grunts) Are you sure
you need all these?
593
00:24:07,413 --> 00:24:08,612
- I need to be prepared.
594
00:24:08,614 --> 00:24:11,015
- I know, but can't you
just go to a library?
595
00:24:11,017 --> 00:24:13,384
- We're gonna be traveling.
596
00:24:14,419 --> 00:24:15,920
(groans) Sugar!
597
00:24:15,922 --> 00:24:16,754
- Hey, hey, hey.
598
00:24:16,756 --> 00:24:17,588
Don't rip it now.
599
00:24:17,590 --> 00:24:18,656
Let me try.
600
00:24:25,263 --> 00:24:29,233
Oh, "American Foreign
Policy since 1948."
601
00:24:29,601 --> 00:24:31,001
"Volume two."
602
00:24:31,003 --> 00:24:32,837
Sounds like a real page turner.
603
00:24:32,839 --> 00:24:35,139
- It's interesting.
604
00:24:35,141 --> 00:24:36,106
- Well ...
605
00:24:37,309 --> 00:24:38,909
Well, how about
something smaller?
606
00:24:42,180 --> 00:24:43,147
Hmm?
607
00:24:44,683 --> 00:24:45,950
- The Little Mermaid?
608
00:24:45,952 --> 00:24:47,384
- [Reverend] Oh, you
used to love this.
609
00:24:47,386 --> 00:24:50,387
- (laughs) Until I found
out they changed the ending.
610
00:24:50,389 --> 00:24:53,190
The original was so much better.
611
00:24:56,228 --> 00:24:58,295
Hand me that other one.
612
00:24:59,731 --> 00:25:00,631
- Hey listen, Lib.
613
00:25:00,633 --> 00:25:03,367
If, perchance,
you happen to meet
614
00:25:03,369 --> 00:25:05,202
a young, eligible bachelor
on the campaign trail--
615
00:25:05,204 --> 00:25:06,470
- [Liberty] Daddy!
616
00:25:06,472 --> 00:25:07,338
- Well, you're not
getting any younger.
617
00:25:07,340 --> 00:25:08,973
- I'm not even 25!
618
00:25:10,008 --> 00:25:10,975
- Well, your mom
and I were married
619
00:25:10,977 --> 00:25:12,476
by the time we were 21.
620
00:25:12,478 --> 00:25:13,711
- You were precocious.
621
00:25:13,713 --> 00:25:16,413
- Well, I worry about you.
622
00:25:16,415 --> 00:25:19,350
You know, I'm not gonna
be around forever.
623
00:25:19,352 --> 00:25:20,851
- I don't need you
to take care of me.
624
00:25:20,853 --> 00:25:21,819
- I know.
625
00:25:23,321 --> 00:25:26,490
I just don't want
you to be lonely.
626
00:25:26,492 --> 00:25:27,491
- I'm not lonely.
627
00:25:27,493 --> 00:25:29,226
I have lots of friends.
628
00:25:29,228 --> 00:25:32,396
- Yeah, but not
a special friend.
629
00:25:32,398 --> 00:25:33,731
Not the kinda friend
that makes your heart
630
00:25:33,733 --> 00:25:36,901
go pitter pat like
your mom did for me.
631
00:25:36,903 --> 00:25:41,005
You never had a special
friend like that, have you?
632
00:25:41,007 --> 00:25:43,941
- Maybe I need to
get out of this town.
633
00:25:43,943 --> 00:25:48,245
You'd have to agree, my
options are somewhat limited.
634
00:25:49,581 --> 00:25:52,716
- Well, what about
them Sarver boys?
635
00:25:54,452 --> 00:25:55,719
I see them in
church every Sunday.
636
00:25:55,721 --> 00:25:57,555
They're good lookin'.
637
00:25:57,557 --> 00:25:59,757
- Carl and Greg Sarver?
638
00:25:59,759 --> 00:26:01,025
Are you kidding?
639
00:26:01,027 --> 00:26:03,294
All they care about
is four wheel drives,
640
00:26:03,296 --> 00:26:05,829
fly fishing, and beer.
641
00:26:06,298 --> 00:26:08,699
- Oh geez, well
I guess you're
right.
642
00:26:08,701 --> 00:26:11,602
- Daddy, I know you just
want me to be happy,
643
00:26:11,604 --> 00:26:14,204
but I'm not gonna
be happy if I marry
644
00:26:14,206 --> 00:26:15,806
someone I'm not in love with.
645
00:26:15,808 --> 00:26:18,442
- That's true, but
don't you think that
646
00:26:18,444 --> 00:26:21,312
your expectations are just
a little bit unrealistic?
647
00:26:21,314 --> 00:26:23,814
I mean look, let's face it.
648
00:26:23,816 --> 00:26:26,817
No guy is gonna be
as smart as you.
649
00:26:26,819 --> 00:26:28,819
And brains ain't everything.
650
00:26:28,821 --> 00:26:29,787
- Daddy!
651
00:26:37,462 --> 00:26:41,532
♪ I never fell for fairy tales
652
00:26:42,601 --> 00:26:47,137
♪ For the one true
love that's found
653
00:26:47,139 --> 00:26:51,909
♪ That handsome prince
who'd soon convince
654
00:26:51,911 --> 00:26:57,114
♪ My feet to leave the ground.
655
00:27:02,020 --> 00:27:06,590
♪ I never longed
for lovers' songs
656
00:27:06,592 --> 00:27:11,128
♪ For the poet's perfect rhyme
657
00:27:11,930 --> 00:27:15,199
♪ All I ever hoped for
658
00:27:15,201 --> 00:27:19,837
♪ Was someone who'd
spend some time
659
00:27:19,839 --> 00:27:23,574
♪ Just be a friend of mine
660
00:27:25,043 --> 00:27:28,746
♪ Someone real
661
00:27:35,453 --> 00:27:38,622
♪ Someone who makes me laugh
662
00:27:38,624 --> 00:27:42,159
♪ Who'll share their life
with me half and half
663
00:27:42,161 --> 00:27:45,396
♪ Who will smile
in my photograph
664
00:27:45,398 --> 00:27:51,101
♪ Someone who's
not afraid to love
665
00:27:51,870 --> 00:27:54,972
♪ Someone that I can talk to
666
00:27:54,974 --> 00:27:58,142
♪ Who calls me up
when I'm feeling blue
667
00:27:58,144 --> 00:28:01,345
♪ Someone that I
can make happy too
668
00:28:01,347 --> 00:28:05,315
♪ Someone who understands me
669
00:28:05,317 --> 00:28:07,985
(somber music)
670
00:28:23,668 --> 00:28:24,935
(faster music)
671
00:28:24,937 --> 00:28:29,006
♪ I never fall for
Barbie Dolls
672
00:28:29,008 --> 00:28:32,643
♪ For dimwit dixie queens
673
00:28:33,678 --> 00:28:36,714
♪ Those tan salon,
nail-polished,
674
00:28:36,716 --> 00:28:42,219
♪ fawning female figurines
675
00:28:42,854 --> 00:28:46,590
♪ Bikini wax and cleavage racks
676
00:28:46,592 --> 00:28:50,861
♪ Can't hide an empty soul
677
00:28:50,863 --> 00:28:54,264
♪Oh, all I ever hoped for
678
00:28:54,266 --> 00:28:58,202
♪ was someone who's
brave and bold
679
00:28:58,204 --> 00:29:02,406
♪ No fragile flower
who'll fade and fold
680
00:29:03,541 --> 00:29:09,012
♪ Someone real
681
00:29:13,284 --> 00:29:16,386
♪ Someone who's flesh on bones
682
00:29:16,388 --> 00:29:19,757
♪ Who's not expecting
a diva's throne
683
00:29:19,759 --> 00:29:23,894
♪ Just a plain Jane
or maybe Joan of Arc
684
00:29:23,896 --> 00:29:28,031
♪ That girl had balls!
685
00:29:28,733 --> 00:29:32,336
♪ It's fine if
she's soft and sweet
686
00:29:32,338 --> 00:29:35,739
♪ Just as long as
she's got some meat
687
00:29:35,741 --> 00:29:38,776
♪ Someone with brains
but without conceit
688
00:29:38,778 --> 00:29:44,281
♪ Someone who understands me
689
00:29:46,284 --> 00:29:49,787
♪ But what if I
can't find the love
690
00:29:49,789 --> 00:29:53,257
♪ I'm seeking?
691
00:29:53,792 --> 00:29:56,426
♪ That someone who can take me
692
00:29:56,428 --> 00:30:00,097
♪ As I am?
693
00:30:00,598 --> 00:30:04,134
♪ That old friend I can talk to
694
00:30:04,136 --> 00:30:07,905
♪ Without speaking,
695
00:30:08,439 --> 00:30:11,275
♪ The lover with a sure
696
00:30:11,277 --> 00:30:17,915
♪ And steady hand?
697
00:30:21,553 --> 00:30:24,788
♪ Someone who's on the square
698
00:30:24,790 --> 00:30:29,459
♪ Who's not obsessed
with her processed hair
699
00:30:29,461 --> 00:30:32,129
♪ Someone who really cares
700
00:30:32,131 --> 00:30:37,501
♪ Someone who's
not afraid to love
701
00:30:38,469 --> 00:30:41,638
♪ It's fine if they've
got love handles
702
00:30:41,640 --> 00:30:45,175
♪ She could even wear
socks with sandals
703
00:30:45,177 --> 00:30:48,145
♪ I'm not expecting
a lifetime plan
704
00:30:48,147 --> 00:30:51,381
♪ Just one to
understand a hometown
705
00:30:51,383 --> 00:30:55,986
♪ fan who'll take
a stand beside me
706
00:30:55,988 --> 00:31:01,291
♪ Just give me someone
that I can love
707
00:31:02,594 --> 00:31:10,033
♪ For real
708
00:31:34,559 --> 00:31:38,328
(cheering)
709
00:31:40,265 --> 00:31:42,065
- We love you, Liberty.
710
00:31:42,067 --> 00:31:44,868
- I love you guys, too, so much.
711
00:31:45,703 --> 00:31:48,005
- I just wish your mom ...
712
00:31:50,275 --> 00:31:52,976
Just give me a call every
now and again, okay?
713
00:31:52,978 --> 00:31:54,544
- I'll call you every day.
714
00:31:54,546 --> 00:31:55,712
But you've gotta
promise me you'll eat
715
00:31:55,714 --> 00:31:57,381
something more than canned soup.
716
00:31:57,383 --> 00:31:58,949
- Promise.
717
00:31:58,951 --> 00:32:02,853
- I left some super simple
recipes by the microwave.
718
00:32:06,291 --> 00:32:08,058
- Miss Smith.
719
00:32:08,060 --> 00:32:09,259
- Coming!
720
00:32:09,261 --> 00:32:11,261
- Just remember what
we talked about.
721
00:32:11,263 --> 00:32:13,063
- Daddy, I love you.
722
00:32:25,343 --> 00:32:26,910
- I Sing America?
723
00:32:27,912 --> 00:32:31,448
Kinda sounds like that
Walt Whitman poem.
724
00:32:32,150 --> 00:32:35,652
You know, I Hear America
Singing, from Leaves of Grass?
725
00:32:35,654 --> 00:32:37,387
Let's see
726
00:32:37,956 --> 00:32:41,591
"I hear America singing,
the varied carols I hear,
727
00:32:41,593 --> 00:32:44,628
"Those of mechanics,
each one singing his
728
00:32:44,630 --> 00:32:47,497
"as it should be
blithe and ... "
729
00:32:48,433 --> 00:32:50,534
(giggles)
730
00:32:50,536 --> 00:32:52,202
- We should get going.
731
00:32:52,204 --> 00:32:53,170
- Okay.
732
00:33:00,211 --> 00:33:02,412
- [Crowd] Bye!
733
00:33:02,647 --> 00:33:05,349
(bouncy music)
734
00:33:45,690 --> 00:33:48,158
- A dramatic change
of political strategy
735
00:33:48,160 --> 00:33:50,494
for candidate Kenny
Weston tonight.
736
00:33:50,496 --> 00:33:54,398
And could one young woman
save an entire campaign?
737
00:33:54,400 --> 00:33:56,733
I'm Rolf Schnitzel and
you've just entered
738
00:33:56,735 --> 00:33:58,402
The Briefing Room.
739
00:33:58,404 --> 00:34:01,204
(dramatic music)
740
00:34:03,341 --> 00:34:05,175
Well, some political
analysts are calling it
741
00:34:05,177 --> 00:34:07,611
a desperate Hail Mary pass,
742
00:34:07,613 --> 00:34:09,579
while others applaud
Kenny Weston's
743
00:34:09,581 --> 00:34:11,281
recent political rebranding
744
00:34:11,283 --> 00:34:13,517
as a brilliant
piece of strategy.
745
00:34:13,519 --> 00:34:16,953
But maybe the results
speak for themselves.
746
00:34:16,955 --> 00:34:19,189
In just one hour, a
new campaign commercial
747
00:34:19,191 --> 00:34:22,692
featuring the singing, dancing
sensation, Liberty Smith,
748
00:34:22,694 --> 00:34:25,362
received over 20 million views.
749
00:34:25,364 --> 00:34:26,630
Just in case you've been living
750
00:34:26,632 --> 00:34:28,365
in a cave for the last few days,
751
00:34:28,367 --> 00:34:29,699
here it is now.
752
00:34:29,701 --> 00:34:32,669
(patriotic music)
753
00:34:33,738 --> 00:34:37,040
♪ Let's look ahead
to the good old days
754
00:34:37,042 --> 00:34:40,944
♪ When life was bright and new
755
00:34:40,946 --> 00:34:44,381
♪ I'm looking forward
to the good old days
756
00:34:44,383 --> 00:34:47,784
♪ A time that's tried and true
757
00:34:47,786 --> 00:34:51,388
♪ A time when everybody
knew your name ♪
758
00:34:51,390 --> 00:34:52,289
(wolf whistling)
(bike bell dinging)
759
00:34:52,291 --> 00:34:53,490
♪ And even if they didn't
760
00:34:53,492 --> 00:34:55,725
♪ They smiled just the same
761
00:34:55,727 --> 00:34:59,129
♪ I found a future
in the good old days
762
00:34:59,131 --> 00:35:02,899
♪ Now won't you join me too
763
00:35:06,504 --> 00:35:10,407
♪ Two young lovers on
a bright spring day
764
00:35:10,409 --> 00:35:13,910
♪ While mama waits inside
765
00:35:13,912 --> 00:35:17,747
♪ Better not cuss
or fuss or fight
766
00:35:17,749 --> 00:35:21,451
♪ 'Cause papa will tan your hide
767
00:35:21,453 --> 00:35:25,188
♪ Grandma sits
a-stitchin' in her rocker
768
00:35:25,190 --> 00:35:28,925
♪ And every meal was
made by Betty Crocker
769
00:35:28,927 --> 00:35:32,262
♪ We can go back to
the good old days
770
00:35:32,264 --> 00:35:36,299
♪ But it's up to you to decide
771
00:35:42,607 --> 00:35:44,141
♪ And Sunday
(church organ music)
772
00:35:44,143 --> 00:35:47,410
♪ Was the Lord's Day
773
00:35:48,713 --> 00:35:53,683
♪ For baseball and barbeque
774
00:35:54,385 --> 00:35:59,489
♪ Fishin' with Junior
at the catfish pond
775
00:35:59,724 --> 00:36:04,127
♪ While Missy helped
her mother with a chore
776
00:36:04,129 --> 00:36:07,931
♪ Or two
777
00:36:10,134 --> 00:36:12,969
(patriotic music)
778
00:36:12,971 --> 00:36:20,944
(tap dancing)
779
00:37:27,912 --> 00:37:31,448
♪ Let's march ahead
to a brand new day
780
00:37:31,450 --> 00:37:35,819
♪ Like the ones we left behind
781
00:37:35,821 --> 00:37:39,623
♪ Let's take a page
from a golden age
782
00:37:39,625 --> 00:37:43,326
♪ A kinder, gentler time
783
00:37:43,328 --> 00:37:45,762
♪ A time when right was right
784
00:37:45,764 --> 00:37:47,664
♪ And wrong was wrong
785
00:37:47,666 --> 00:37:49,599
♪ And if you sang a tune
786
00:37:49,601 --> 00:37:51,835
♪ The band would play along
787
00:37:51,837 --> 00:37:55,572
♪ I'm moving on to
the good old days
788
00:37:55,574 --> 00:37:57,907
♪ Now won't you join me
789
00:37:57,909 --> 00:37:59,476
♪ Oh won't you join me
790
00:37:59,478 --> 00:38:05,882
♪ Won't you join me, too ?
791
00:38:06,751 --> 00:38:10,053
(fireworks explosion)
792
00:38:11,355 --> 00:38:14,758
- [Kenny] I'm Kenny Weston
and I approve this message.
793
00:38:14,760 --> 00:38:18,228
(dixieland music)
794
00:38:50,961 --> 00:38:54,731
(airplane engine roaring)
795
00:38:54,733 --> 00:38:57,033
(cheering and applause)
796
00:38:57,035 --> 00:39:01,271
(heavy metal music)
(fireworks exploding)
797
00:39:06,811 --> 00:39:09,646
(train rumbling)
798
00:39:18,556 --> 00:39:22,192
(train horn blaring)
799
00:39:22,194 --> 00:39:24,661
- [Voiceover] Now turning
to you first, Tom Tishkin,
800
00:39:24,663 --> 00:39:27,831
new polls showing Weston
up by five points in Ohio,
801
00:39:27,833 --> 00:39:29,432
but with the gap narrowing after
802
00:39:29,434 --> 00:39:32,335
his lackluster performance
on Tuesday night,
803
00:39:32,337 --> 00:39:34,003
what does Kenny
Weston need to do
804
00:39:34,005 --> 00:39:36,906
in the next two weeks
before election day?
805
00:39:36,908 --> 00:39:38,742
- [Voiceover] Well, he's
definitely gotta improve
806
00:39:38,744 --> 00:39:41,010
his performance in
the next debate.
807
00:39:41,012 --> 00:39:43,113
He needs to look presidential;
808
00:39:43,115 --> 00:39:45,949
in command, but still relatable,
809
00:39:45,951 --> 00:39:48,218
someone the American
people would want
810
00:39:48,220 --> 00:39:50,019
to go on a fishing trip with.
811
00:39:50,021 --> 00:39:53,690
And of course, the Liberty
factor is gonna be huge.
812
00:39:53,692 --> 00:39:55,525
She is enormously
popular with both
813
00:39:55,527 --> 00:39:59,429
unmarried females 18 to
25 and the Evangelicals,
814
00:39:59,431 --> 00:40:00,697
who's turn out on election day
815
00:40:00,699 --> 00:40:02,699
is gonna be
absolutely essential.
816
00:40:02,701 --> 00:40:04,868
She's sweet, she's smart,
817
00:40:04,870 --> 00:40:07,370
she's very, very sexy, frankly.
818
00:40:07,372 --> 00:40:11,674
If I were Weston, I would
let her do all the talking.
819
00:40:15,713 --> 00:40:17,147
- And the president
of Turkmenistan,
820
00:40:17,149 --> 00:40:18,815
I think I can pronounce
his first name,
821
00:40:18,817 --> 00:40:20,049
but the second name, I st--
822
00:40:20,051 --> 00:40:22,919
- You don't have to
worry about any of that.
823
00:40:22,921 --> 00:40:25,054
You're gonna be great.
824
00:40:25,056 --> 00:40:27,056
Everybody loves you.
825
00:40:27,058 --> 00:40:28,725
- But what if somebody
asks me something
826
00:40:28,727 --> 00:40:30,593
I don't know how to answer?
827
00:40:30,595 --> 00:40:31,895
- Just listen.
828
00:40:34,999 --> 00:40:39,302
♪ When you Meet the
Press or Face the Nation
829
00:40:40,738 --> 00:40:45,041
♪ There are some rules by
which you always must abide
830
00:40:47,278 --> 00:40:50,613
♪ If you follow
these simple lessons
831
00:40:50,615 --> 00:40:54,417
♪ You will make a
strong impression
832
00:40:54,419 --> 00:41:00,924
♪ And the pundits will
come over to your side
833
00:41:02,326 --> 00:41:04,160
♪ Stay on message
834
00:41:04,162 --> 00:41:06,763
♪ Project confidence
835
00:41:06,765 --> 00:41:10,600
♪ Say you think that
Washington is rotten
836
00:41:10,602 --> 00:41:12,769
♪ Just look relaxed
837
00:41:12,771 --> 00:41:15,038
♪ But if a questioner attacks
838
00:41:15,040 --> 00:41:19,108
♪ Digress until the
question is forgotten
839
00:41:19,110 --> 00:41:21,144
♪ You gotta keep it short
840
00:41:21,146 --> 00:41:23,780
♪ And make it snappy
841
00:41:23,782 --> 00:41:27,617
♪ Repeat it over and
over like a rhyme
842
00:41:27,619 --> 00:41:29,552
♪ Ideas that once seemed dense
843
00:41:29,554 --> 00:41:31,387
♪ Will feel like common sense
844
00:41:31,389 --> 00:41:35,124
♪ When they've heard
it over 1500 times
845
00:41:35,126 --> 00:41:37,293
♪ But if they press
you for a statement
846
00:41:37,295 --> 00:41:40,964
♪ And you're not sure it's okay
847
00:41:40,966 --> 00:41:42,665
♪ Remember
848
00:41:42,667 --> 00:41:44,801
♪ You never get in trouble
849
00:41:44,803 --> 00:41:49,305
♪ For something you don't say
850
00:41:49,307 --> 00:41:50,974
Think you've got it?
851
00:41:50,976 --> 00:41:52,141
- I think so.
852
00:41:52,143 --> 00:41:53,409
- Okay.
853
00:41:53,411 --> 00:41:54,711
Let's try one.
854
00:41:56,347 --> 00:41:58,648
Miss Smith, some have called you
855
00:41:58,650 --> 00:42:00,884
the pretty face
of ugly politics.
856
00:42:00,886 --> 00:42:02,185
Your response.
857
00:42:04,522 --> 00:42:07,657
- Um, I think ...
858
00:42:07,758 --> 00:42:09,592
Can I get
a hint?
859
00:42:09,594 --> 00:42:11,494
- Pivot, remember?
860
00:42:11,496 --> 00:42:12,695
Take the conversation
from something
861
00:42:12,697 --> 00:42:13,930
you don't want to talk about
862
00:42:13,932 --> 00:42:15,732
to something you do
want to talk about.
863
00:42:15,734 --> 00:42:18,034
- But what should I talk about?
864
00:42:18,036 --> 00:42:21,905
- Well, you can never go
wrong with the four F's.
865
00:42:21,907 --> 00:42:23,306
- The four F's?
866
00:42:24,341 --> 00:42:26,843
- Faith, family,
freedom, and fu ...
867
00:42:26,845 --> 00:42:28,411
(music stops)
868
00:42:28,413 --> 00:42:30,647
Mistakes by the opponent.
869
00:42:32,850 --> 00:42:34,717
♪ You can use statistics
870
00:42:34,719 --> 00:42:37,120
♪ As ballistics
871
00:42:37,122 --> 00:42:40,557
♪ Drop them like a
bomb to clear the air
872
00:42:40,559 --> 00:42:42,392
♪ The facts are flexible
873
00:42:42,394 --> 00:42:44,761
♪ Always selectable
874
00:42:44,763 --> 00:42:49,232
♪ One person's foul is
another person's fair
875
00:42:49,234 --> 00:42:51,367
♪ You gotta thank God a lot
876
00:42:51,369 --> 00:42:53,536
♪ And your parents
877
00:42:53,538 --> 00:42:55,705
♪ Without them you'd
have never made it
878
00:42:55,707 --> 00:42:57,407
♪ Here
- That's true.
879
00:42:57,409 --> 00:42:59,375
♪ Talk about your grandma
880
00:42:59,377 --> 00:43:01,110
♪ From down in Alabama
881
00:43:01,112 --> 00:43:03,646
♪ Who works 18 hour
days as a volunteer ♪
882
00:43:03,648 --> 00:43:06,716
♪ But if they question
your assumptions
883
00:43:06,718 --> 00:43:10,053
♪ Or the picture you portray
884
00:43:10,055 --> 00:43:11,955
♪ Remember
885
00:43:11,957 --> 00:43:13,756
♪ You never get in trouble
886
00:43:13,758 --> 00:43:18,061
♪ For something you don't say
887
00:43:19,430 --> 00:43:21,397
- Does it ever bother you?
888
00:43:21,399 --> 00:43:22,932
- What?
889
00:43:22,934 --> 00:43:26,569
- You know, not
telling the whole truth
890
00:43:26,571 --> 00:43:28,838
- Nobody tells the whole truth.
891
00:43:28,840 --> 00:43:31,674
♪ So don't say intervention, say
892
00:43:31,676 --> 00:43:33,009
♪ Keeping peace
893
00:43:33,011 --> 00:43:35,678
♪ Don't say occupation, say
894
00:43:35,680 --> 00:43:36,746
- Permanent lease?
895
00:43:36,748 --> 00:43:39,415
♪ Don't say dog-eat-dog, say
896
00:43:39,417 --> 00:43:40,817
♪ Market forces
897
00:43:40,819 --> 00:43:43,252
♪ Don't say exploited labor, say
898
00:43:43,254 --> 00:43:46,589
♪ Human resources
899
00:43:46,591 --> 00:43:48,324
- I think she's got it.
900
00:43:48,326 --> 00:43:51,060
(tap dance swing music)
901
00:43:58,268 --> 00:43:59,268
- Oh.
902
00:43:59,270 --> 00:44:01,571
- Mmhmm, I can do that, too.
903
00:44:13,651 --> 00:44:15,952
(giggles)
904
00:44:26,530 --> 00:44:29,465
♪ And don't say
global warming, say ♪
905
00:44:29,467 --> 00:44:30,700
- This too shall pass.
906
00:44:30,702 --> 00:44:33,302
♪ Don't say air pollution, say
907
00:44:33,304 --> 00:44:34,303
- Prosperity gas?
908
00:44:34,305 --> 00:44:36,739
♪ Don't say detention camp, say
909
00:44:36,741 --> 00:44:38,708
♪ Enhanced cooperative
910
00:44:38,710 --> 00:44:41,711
♪ Don't say we lied, say
911
00:44:41,713 --> 00:44:48,985
♪ Previous statements
are inoperative
912
00:44:52,589 --> 00:44:56,859
♪ I'll stay on message
♪ Stick to those talking points
913
00:44:56,861 --> 00:45:00,329
♪ Project confidence
♪ Keep your messaging
914
00:45:00,331 --> 00:45:02,532
♪ Clear and confident
915
00:45:02,534 --> 00:45:08,471
♪ Say I think that
Washington is rotten
916
00:45:09,840 --> 00:45:11,841
♪ I'll look relaxed
917
00:45:11,843 --> 00:45:13,409
♪ Don't be afraid to show
918
00:45:13,411 --> 00:45:15,611
♪ A hint of vulnerability
♪ And if a
919
00:45:15,613 --> 00:45:18,848
♪ But when someone attacks you
♪ Questioner attacks
920
00:45:18,850 --> 00:45:21,050
♪ Just hit back, don't let
♪ I'll distract
921
00:45:21,052 --> 00:45:23,219
♪ Them get you with a gotcha
♪ Until the question
922
00:45:23,221 --> 00:45:25,421
♪ And stall until
♪ Is forgotten
923
00:45:25,423 --> 00:45:28,991
♪ The question is forgot
924
00:45:30,360 --> 00:45:32,395
♪ And if I stumble on my answers
925
00:45:32,397 --> 00:45:36,199
♪ And the pundits make me pay
926
00:45:36,201 --> 00:45:37,767
♪ I'll remember
927
00:45:37,769 --> 00:45:41,637
♪ You never get in trouble
928
00:45:41,639 --> 00:45:45,575
♪ If you keep speaking double
929
00:45:45,577 --> 00:45:47,610
♪ You never get in trouble
930
00:45:47,612 --> 00:45:53,349
♪ For something you don't say
931
00:45:56,153 --> 00:45:59,055
(laughing)
932
00:45:59,057 --> 00:46:01,724
- [Nikki] Get out of my way.
933
00:46:01,726 --> 00:46:03,893
- [Liberty] Whee!
934
00:46:03,895 --> 00:46:06,796
(dramatic music)
935
00:46:10,601 --> 00:46:11,934
- I can't get this without ...
936
00:46:11,936 --> 00:46:13,736
Can I get a little help here?
937
00:46:13,738 --> 00:46:14,971
- [Nikki] What's up?
938
00:46:14,973 --> 00:46:15,938
- You know how to
do this, right?
939
00:46:15,940 --> 00:46:16,773
- Yeah.
940
00:46:16,775 --> 00:46:18,908
- I just need you to ...
941
00:46:20,310 --> 00:46:21,144
- Okay.
942
00:46:21,146 --> 00:46:22,411
(laughing)
943
00:46:22,413 --> 00:46:25,515
Uh, Miss Smith, this
won't hurt a bit.
944
00:46:25,517 --> 00:46:27,383
Alright, I think ...
945
00:46:29,419 --> 00:46:31,454
We'll just go this way.
946
00:46:32,256 --> 00:46:34,457
(Liberty giggles)
947
00:46:34,459 --> 00:46:35,992
Well, you have to stand still.
948
00:46:35,994 --> 00:46:37,927
- I can't help it I'm ticklish.
949
00:46:37,929 --> 00:46:40,997
- [Voiceover] Girls, wrap it up.
We've got one minute.
950
00:46:40,999 --> 00:46:41,964
- Okay.
951
00:46:48,672 --> 00:46:50,273
- Liberty.
952
00:46:50,275 --> 00:46:51,507
Rolf Schnitzel.
953
00:46:51,509 --> 00:46:52,441
Oh, sorry, didn't
mean to walk in
954
00:46:52,443 --> 00:46:53,442
on the dressing room there.
955
00:46:53,444 --> 00:46:54,443
(both laughing)
956
00:46:54,445 --> 00:46:55,378
- Hi.
957
00:46:55,380 --> 00:46:59,015
Why don't you just
scootch around here?
958
00:46:59,017 --> 00:47:01,350
Yeah, so it's so great to
have you here, finally.
959
00:47:01,352 --> 00:47:03,486
I know we've been trying to
get you on the show for
960
00:47:03,488 --> 00:47:05,054
seems like a couple
of months now.
961
00:47:05,056 --> 00:47:07,757
- [Voiceover] And five, four ...
962
00:47:10,060 --> 00:47:11,494
- And welcome back.
963
00:47:11,496 --> 00:47:14,330
Joining me now, a face
familiar to all of America,
964
00:47:14,332 --> 00:47:17,834
Weston campaign surrogate,
Miss Liberty Smith.
965
00:47:17,836 --> 00:47:19,635
Welcome to The
Briefing Room, Liberty.
966
00:47:19,637 --> 00:47:20,903
- Thanks, Rolf.
967
00:47:20,905 --> 00:47:23,139
I'm really delighted to be here.
968
00:47:23,141 --> 00:47:25,808
- Now, Liberty, let's be honest.
969
00:47:25,810 --> 00:47:27,910
Without you, Kenny
Weston's campaign
970
00:47:27,912 --> 00:47:29,846
would have been washed
up a few months ago.
971
00:47:29,848 --> 00:47:32,582
You gave him whole
a new lease on life.
972
00:47:32,584 --> 00:47:35,351
- (chuckles) That's very
nice of you to say, Rolf,
973
00:47:35,353 --> 00:47:38,187
but I really can't
claim any credit.
974
00:47:38,189 --> 00:47:40,423
Senator Weston is the
one who's out there
975
00:47:40,425 --> 00:47:43,993
every day fighting for
ordinary Americans.
976
00:47:43,995 --> 00:47:46,162
I'm just cheering
from the sidelines.
977
00:47:46,164 --> 00:47:47,897
- Well, I guess every
candidate wishes he had
978
00:47:47,899 --> 00:47:49,999
a cheerleader as
pretty as you, then.
979
00:47:50,001 --> 00:47:52,068
(both laughing)
980
00:47:52,070 --> 00:47:54,036
Now, of course, we
all know your father
981
00:47:54,038 --> 00:47:56,038
is a well-respected pastor.
982
00:47:56,040 --> 00:47:58,708
- But what our
viewers might not know
983
00:47:58,710 --> 00:48:01,510
is that your mother was
a medical missionary
984
00:48:01,512 --> 00:48:03,446
who traveled to some of
the most dangerous parts
985
00:48:03,448 --> 00:48:07,116
of the world in order to
help those in need, until--
986
00:48:07,118 --> 00:48:08,417
- That's right.
987
00:48:08,419 --> 00:48:09,986
My mother was ...
988
00:48:10,687 --> 00:48:12,355
- She was tragically--
989
00:48:12,357 --> 00:48:15,691
- Yes, as a matter of fact,
990
00:48:16,026 --> 00:48:20,429
that's why I am such a strong
support of Senator Weston.
991
00:48:20,431 --> 00:48:23,032
Senator Weston believes that
America should take the lead
992
00:48:23,034 --> 00:48:27,336
in (mumbles) ... creating
a more peaceful world.
993
00:48:28,805 --> 00:48:29,739
- Fascinating.
994
00:48:29,741 --> 00:48:30,706
We're gonna take a short break,
995
00:48:30,708 --> 00:48:31,707
but when we come back,
996
00:48:31,709 --> 00:48:33,242
more intimate conversation
997
00:48:33,244 --> 00:48:36,279
with America's political
sweetheart, Miss Liberty Smith.
998
00:48:36,281 --> 00:48:37,480
Stick around.
999
00:48:37,482 --> 00:48:40,383
(dramatic music)
1000
00:48:44,054 --> 00:48:45,488
- You really think it was okay?
1001
00:48:45,490 --> 00:48:46,722
- Yeah, it was great.
1002
00:48:46,724 --> 00:48:48,324
It was perfect.
1003
00:48:48,326 --> 00:48:50,259
And nice pivot on
that Mom question.
1004
00:48:50,261 --> 00:48:51,827
I'm glad you didn't
let him push you around
1005
00:48:51,829 --> 00:48:53,062
and get too personal.
1006
00:48:53,064 --> 00:48:54,630
- [Yolanda] Hey girls!
1007
00:48:54,632 --> 00:48:56,098
- Hi Yolanda!
1008
00:48:56,100 --> 00:48:58,234
- I saw you from the green room.
1009
00:48:58,236 --> 00:49:00,236
You were fabulous.
1010
00:49:00,837 --> 00:49:02,805
- Well, that's only
because of Nikki.
1011
00:49:02,807 --> 00:49:04,106
You wanna come to lunch with us?
1012
00:49:04,108 --> 00:49:06,909
- I wish I could,
but I got a plane.
1013
00:49:06,911 --> 00:49:09,412
Dickler wants you back
in Washington, too.
1014
00:49:09,414 --> 00:49:12,782
- Kenny needs debate
prep, badly. (laughs)
1015
00:49:12,784 --> 00:49:14,417
Probably now until the election.
1016
00:49:14,419 --> 00:49:17,119
- But I thought she was gonna
be with me the whole time.
1017
00:49:17,121 --> 00:49:18,120
- Don't worry about it.
1018
00:49:18,122 --> 00:49:19,322
You're doing great.
1019
00:49:19,324 --> 00:49:21,424
You don't need me anymore.
1020
00:49:21,426 --> 00:49:22,458
- That's not true.
1021
00:49:22,460 --> 00:49:24,694
I still need you.
1022
00:49:24,696 --> 00:49:25,962
I mean, your help.
1023
00:49:25,964 --> 00:49:29,665
I'm still not very
good at all this.
1024
00:49:29,667 --> 00:49:33,636
- Hey, hey, why don't you
come with us for a few days?
1025
00:49:33,638 --> 00:49:34,804
- What?
1026
00:49:34,806 --> 00:49:35,705
- Where?
1027
00:49:35,707 --> 00:49:36,772
- To Washington.
1028
00:49:36,774 --> 00:49:37,940
You could stay with me.
1029
00:49:37,942 --> 00:49:40,209
I have a whole empty house now.
1030
00:49:40,211 --> 00:49:41,944
- I wouldn't wanna impose, or--
1031
00:49:41,946 --> 00:49:43,446
- Not at all.
1032
00:49:43,448 --> 00:49:45,281
I'll give you your own key.
1033
00:49:45,283 --> 00:49:47,049
You can come and go
1034
00:49:47,051 --> 00:49:48,617
and Nikki can show you
1035
00:49:48,619 --> 00:49:51,220
around town between
sessions, right Nik?
1036
00:49:51,222 --> 00:49:52,054
- [Nikki] Mmhmm.
1037
00:49:52,056 --> 00:49:53,022
- Nikki?
1038
00:49:54,124 --> 00:49:56,959
I'd love to, but are
you sure it's okay?
1039
00:49:56,961 --> 00:49:59,028
- [Yolanda] Positive.
1040
00:49:59,030 --> 00:49:59,996
- Okay.
1041
00:50:04,835 --> 00:50:09,138
(car horns honking)
(helicopters rumbling)
1042
00:50:11,675 --> 00:50:13,376
- Alright, Kenny, just
relax, be yourself,
1043
00:50:13,378 --> 00:50:14,543
and the election is yours,
1044
00:50:14,545 --> 00:50:16,379
as long as you don't fuck up.
1045
00:50:16,381 --> 00:50:17,847
- I'm sure that really
puts him at ease.
1046
00:50:17,849 --> 00:50:19,582
- Stay in character, Levine.
1047
00:50:19,584 --> 00:50:21,884
Alright, Kenny, let's try one.
1048
00:50:21,886 --> 00:50:22,718
Put on the glasses.
1049
00:50:22,720 --> 00:50:24,653
- Oh, the glasses, yeah.
1050
00:50:24,655 --> 00:50:26,489
Alright, okay, hit me.
1051
00:50:26,491 --> 00:50:27,323
I'm ready.
1052
00:50:27,325 --> 00:50:29,091
- Senator Weston.
1053
00:50:29,093 --> 00:50:31,560
Could you please outline
your position on immigration?
1054
00:50:31,562 --> 00:50:33,496
Specifically, do you
favor comprehensive
1055
00:50:33,498 --> 00:50:36,699
immigration reform and
a path to citizenship?
1056
00:50:36,701 --> 00:50:37,900
- Immigration, okay.
1057
00:50:37,902 --> 00:50:40,536
Uh, that's a tough one, uh ...
1058
00:50:41,338 --> 00:50:42,371
Right, well Nikki--
1059
00:50:42,373 --> 00:50:43,205
- Rolf.
1060
00:50:43,207 --> 00:50:45,007
- Rolf, Rolf, right.
1061
00:50:45,842 --> 00:50:48,177
Well, Rolf, as you know,
1062
00:50:48,179 --> 00:50:50,012
America is a nation
of immigrants.
1063
00:50:50,014 --> 00:50:53,949
My ancestors, my wife's
grandparents, all came here,
1064
00:50:53,951 --> 00:50:55,551
legally, of course,
1065
00:50:55,553 --> 00:50:58,020
trying to make a better
life for themselves
1066
00:50:58,022 --> 00:50:59,722
and for their children.
1067
00:50:59,724 --> 00:51:02,691
They left from wherever
they were and came
1068
00:51:02,693 --> 00:51:05,594
to the Statue of
Liberty, where our poor
1069
00:51:05,596 --> 00:51:07,897
and our hungry, our
wretched refuse,
1070
00:51:07,899 --> 00:51:10,699
our tired, all huddled together.
1071
00:51:12,369 --> 00:51:13,602
Now, Julie's family worked
1072
00:51:13,604 --> 00:51:15,771
in the coal mines
in Pennsylvania
1073
00:51:15,773 --> 00:51:17,373
and mine worked hard
1074
00:51:17,375 --> 00:51:19,275
on river boats up and
down the Mississippi,
1075
00:51:19,277 --> 00:51:22,378
like you might see in
Mark Twain or Huck Finn--
1076
00:51:22,380 --> 00:51:24,213
- What the _ó_ó_ are
you talking about?
1077
00:51:24,215 --> 00:51:25,714
- Well, okay, you're
making me nervous.
1078
00:51:25,716 --> 00:51:26,949
Just let me ...
1079
00:51:26,951 --> 00:51:27,883
Here, give me another one.
1080
00:51:27,885 --> 00:51:28,717
Let's start over again, okay?
1081
00:51:28,719 --> 00:51:30,586
(mumbles)
1082
00:51:30,588 --> 00:51:32,054
- Foreign policy.
1083
00:51:32,056 --> 00:51:33,422
- Senator Weston,
1084
00:51:33,424 --> 00:51:35,257
some in your party
say that it's time
1085
00:51:35,259 --> 00:51:36,725
for America to scale back
1086
00:51:36,727 --> 00:51:39,295
its military commitments
around the world.
1087
00:51:39,297 --> 00:51:41,964
They say we simply can no
longer be the world's policeman
1088
00:51:41,966 --> 00:51:45,000
and they propose major
cuts to the defense budget.
1089
00:51:45,002 --> 00:51:48,904
Where exactly do you
stand on this issue?
1090
00:51:48,906 --> 00:51:50,573
- Well, I appreciate
your question, Nikki.
1091
00:51:50,575 --> 00:51:53,342
- [Dick] Rolf!
- Shit, Rolf!
1092
00:51:53,344 --> 00:51:54,310
Rolf,
1093
00:51:55,312 --> 00:51:56,445
as you know,
1094
00:51:57,514 --> 00:52:00,015
America is the greatest
country in the world.
1095
00:52:00,017 --> 00:52:01,817
In fact, we always have been,
1096
00:52:01,819 --> 00:52:03,452
ever since we beat the Redcoats
1097
00:52:03,454 --> 00:52:04,787
in the American Revolution,
1098
00:52:04,789 --> 00:52:07,957
and I guess I'm just not
ready to give that up.
1099
00:52:07,959 --> 00:52:09,358
You know, American workers are
1100
00:52:09,360 --> 00:52:11,594
the greatest
workers in the world
1101
00:52:11,596 --> 00:52:14,196
and that's why everyone
wants military hardware
1102
00:52:14,198 --> 00:52:17,032
that's from the
United States, so,
1103
00:52:17,034 --> 00:52:19,001
if I am elected president,
1104
00:52:19,003 --> 00:52:22,271
I'll guarantee that
every aircraft carrier,
1105
00:52:22,273 --> 00:52:25,441
every cruise missile,
every jet fighter,
1106
00:52:25,443 --> 00:52:28,110
every surveillance
drone across the world,
1107
00:52:28,112 --> 00:52:31,514
around the entire globe says,
1108
00:52:31,848 --> 00:52:33,315
Made in America,
1109
00:52:34,351 --> 00:52:37,987
not, Made in Japan or Guatemala.
1110
00:52:41,158 --> 00:52:43,459
- Kenny, did you memorize the
talking points I gave you?
1111
00:52:43,461 --> 00:52:44,426
- Yes.
1112
00:52:45,495 --> 00:52:46,729
Which ones?
1113
00:52:46,731 --> 00:52:47,563
- All of them.
1114
00:52:47,565 --> 00:52:48,797
- [Kenny] Most of 'em.
1115
00:52:48,799 --> 00:52:50,199
- You have to
memorize all of them
1116
00:52:50,201 --> 00:52:51,534
and all of the
attack lines, too.
1117
00:52:51,536 --> 00:52:53,068
Absolutely no ad-libbing.
1118
00:52:53,070 --> 00:52:54,303
Just the script.
1119
00:52:54,305 --> 00:52:56,805
We can't rehearse until
you know your lines.
1120
00:52:56,807 --> 00:53:01,477
- Well, I thought that last
answer was pretty good.
1121
00:53:01,479 --> 00:53:02,678
- Alright, we're
done for the day.
1122
00:53:02,680 --> 00:53:05,281
Kenny, I need to talk to you.
1123
00:53:07,317 --> 00:53:08,484
- Hey.
1124
00:53:08,486 --> 00:53:09,785
Where are you?
1125
00:53:10,520 --> 00:53:11,820
Okay.
1126
00:53:11,822 --> 00:53:14,490
(bouncy music)
1127
00:53:25,168 --> 00:53:28,637
(camera shutter clicks)
1128
00:53:30,240 --> 00:53:34,910
- "With malice toward
none, with charity for all,
1129
00:53:34,912 --> 00:53:36,178
"with firmness in the right,
1130
00:53:36,180 --> 00:53:38,847
"as God gives us
to see the right,
1131
00:53:38,849 --> 00:53:43,018
"let us strive on to finish
the work we are in and that--"
1132
00:53:43,020 --> 00:53:46,222
(cell phone ringing)
1133
00:53:47,057 --> 00:53:48,591
- Hey, what's up?
1134
00:53:48,593 --> 00:53:52,294
- Oh, we're just leaving
the Lincoln ... shit.
1135
00:53:52,296 --> 00:53:54,997
Shoot, totally forgot.
1136
00:53:55,298 --> 00:53:56,865
- [Yolanda] I figured
you did.
1137
00:53:56,867 --> 00:53:58,534
Why don't you just head over now
1138
00:53:58,536 --> 00:53:59,868
and bring Libby with you?
1139
00:53:59,870 --> 00:54:01,637
We'll make it a trio.
1140
00:54:01,639 --> 00:54:03,138
- Bring her there?
1141
00:54:03,140 --> 00:54:04,540
- Bring me where?
1142
00:54:04,542 --> 00:54:06,609
- [Yolanda] Bring
her to the bar.
1143
00:54:06,611 --> 00:54:09,044
- Yolanda invited me for
drinks for my birthday.
1144
00:54:09,046 --> 00:54:10,546
Do you want to come?
1145
00:54:10,548 --> 00:54:11,747
(Liberty laughs)
1146
00:54:11,749 --> 00:54:13,616
We'll be there in 15.
1147
00:54:15,285 --> 00:54:18,020
(serene romantic music)
1148
00:54:28,465 --> 00:54:31,700
(background chatter)
1149
00:54:33,503 --> 00:54:36,305
- [Group] Surprise!
(party horns blowing)
1150
00:54:36,307 --> 00:54:37,139
- What?
1151
00:54:37,141 --> 00:54:39,074
You sneaky bitch.
1152
00:54:39,076 --> 00:54:41,610
- I thought you'd never
get here.
1153
00:54:41,612 --> 00:54:44,079
- Did you know about this?
1154
00:54:44,081 --> 00:54:45,414
(giggles)
1155
00:54:45,416 --> 00:54:48,417
Remind me to never
trust you again.
1156
00:54:50,086 --> 00:54:51,754
- Hey, how are you?
1157
00:54:52,922 --> 00:54:53,756
Let me take your coat.
1158
00:54:53,758 --> 00:54:55,257
- [Liberty] Okay.
1159
00:54:55,259 --> 00:54:58,060
(sexy electronic dance music)
1160
00:55:04,267 --> 00:55:06,268
- [Waitress] What
can I get you guys?
1161
00:55:06,270 --> 00:55:08,504
- Um, do you have,
like, ginger ale?
1162
00:55:08,506 --> 00:55:09,772
- [Waitress] Yeah, sure.
1163
00:55:09,774 --> 00:55:10,606
- That sounds good,
I'll have the same.
1164
00:55:10,608 --> 00:55:12,107
- [Waitress] Okay.
1165
00:55:18,782 --> 00:55:19,748
- So ...
1166
00:55:22,686 --> 00:55:23,819
How are you?
1167
00:55:25,121 --> 00:55:26,488
- Fine.
1168
00:55:26,490 --> 00:55:27,823
Fine, yeah.
1169
00:55:27,825 --> 00:55:29,458
Thanks, just fine.
1170
00:55:31,795 --> 00:55:34,229
Oh, I almost forgot, uh ...
1171
00:55:34,231 --> 00:55:35,864
I have a present for you.
1172
00:55:35,866 --> 00:55:37,066
- [Nikki] Oh, you
didn't have to do that.
1173
00:55:37,068 --> 00:55:39,501
- Well, I was in the
Supreme Court gift shop
1174
00:55:39,503 --> 00:55:40,869
and I saw this.
1175
00:55:42,305 --> 00:55:44,907
I thought of you right away.
1176
00:55:44,909 --> 00:55:47,009
- The Complete Opinions
of Louis Brandeis.
1177
00:55:47,011 --> 00:55:48,010
- [Liberty] Yeah.
1178
00:55:48,012 --> 00:55:49,478
I hope you don't
have it already.
1179
00:55:49,480 --> 00:55:51,213
- No, I don't have it.
1180
00:55:51,215 --> 00:55:52,981
- The dissent on
Olmstead versus U.S.
1181
00:55:52,983 --> 00:55:54,817
is really incredible.
1182
00:55:55,485 --> 00:55:59,154
Anyway, I just thought,
if you do end up going
to law school,
1183
00:55:59,156 --> 00:56:01,990
you know, it might
come in handy.
1184
00:56:05,929 --> 00:56:08,664
- I don't know anyone like you.
1185
00:56:10,900 --> 00:56:12,568
To you.
1186
00:56:12,570 --> 00:56:14,203
- Well, no, to us.
1187
00:56:15,705 --> 00:56:18,340
I mean, you know, to both of us.
1188
00:56:18,342 --> 00:56:19,575
Not just me.
1189
00:56:26,883 --> 00:56:29,184
Oh shoot!
1190
00:56:29,285 --> 00:56:30,219
Oh my gosh.
1191
00:56:30,221 --> 00:56:31,453
- [Nikki] You're all wet.
1192
00:56:31,455 --> 00:56:34,890
- Oh, uh ... I
can do that by myself.
1193
00:56:34,892 --> 00:56:36,692
Thanks, um ...
1194
00:56:36,694 --> 00:56:38,460
Listen, I better ...
1195
00:56:38,462 --> 00:56:39,528
- I should drive you--
1196
00:56:39,530 --> 00:56:40,295
- No!
- [Nikki] It's late.
1197
00:56:40,297 --> 00:56:41,864
- I mean, I'm fine.
1198
00:56:43,099 --> 00:56:45,734
I should really, I gotta
catch my plane early tomorrow.
1199
00:56:45,736 --> 00:56:47,202
I should, uh ...
1200
00:56:47,204 --> 00:56:51,073
Thanks for a great gay -- day!
1201
00:56:54,210 --> 00:56:59,181
(pensive music)
1202
00:57:35,418 --> 00:57:37,586
♪ Oh love
1203
00:57:37,588 --> 00:57:40,689
(soft piano music)
1204
00:57:40,691 --> 00:57:44,560
♪ I dare not speak your name
1205
00:57:46,262 --> 00:57:49,932
♪ For if I speak your name
1206
00:57:53,102 --> 00:57:56,839
♪ You will hear my voice
1207
00:57:56,841 --> 00:57:59,308
♪ Trembling
1208
00:58:00,276 --> 00:58:02,578
♪ Oh love
1209
00:58:04,781 --> 00:58:08,584
♪ I dare not meet your gaze
1210
00:58:11,120 --> 00:58:16,024
♪ For if I meet your gaze
1211
00:58:17,727 --> 00:58:21,129
♪ You will see my eyes
1212
00:58:22,699 --> 00:58:25,000
♪ Wanting
1213
00:58:28,538 --> 00:58:33,141
♪ Then all
1214
00:58:33,143 --> 00:58:36,178
♪ Is lost
1215
00:58:36,579 --> 00:58:41,283
♪ All is lost
1216
00:58:55,064 --> 00:58:58,200
♪ Better not to see
1217
00:58:59,002 --> 00:59:03,705
♪ Better not to hear
1218
00:59:04,107 --> 00:59:09,177
♪ And never speak your name
1219
00:59:10,847 --> 00:59:13,715
♪ Oh love
1220
00:59:13,717 --> 00:59:18,720
♪ I dare not stand too near
1221
00:59:19,355 --> 00:59:22,991
♪ For if I stand too near
1222
00:59:24,227 --> 00:59:27,863
♪ You will feel my heart
1223
00:59:27,865 --> 00:59:29,631
♪ Beating
1224
00:59:29,633 --> 00:59:31,934
♪ Oh love
1225
00:59:32,735 --> 00:59:37,339
♪ I dare not see you smile
1226
00:59:38,641 --> 00:59:43,078
♪ For if I see you smile
1227
00:59:43,246 --> 00:59:47,215
♪ You will catch my soul
1228
00:59:47,217 --> 00:59:49,251
♪ Singing
1229
00:59:49,253 --> 00:59:53,922
♪ Then all
1230
00:59:54,057 --> 00:59:56,792
♪ Is lost
1231
01:00:01,831 --> 01:00:05,100
♪ But when I speak your name
1232
01:00:05,102 --> 01:00:09,371
♪ Is when I can believe
1233
01:00:09,639 --> 01:00:14,776
♪ There is another world
1234
01:00:36,699 --> 01:00:40,836
♪ And when you're all alone
1235
01:00:40,838 --> 01:00:45,841
♪ As I am all alone
1236
01:00:49,112 --> 01:00:55,417
♪ Do you ever speak my name?
1237
01:00:57,520 --> 01:01:00,188
♪ Do you ever
1238
01:01:01,958 --> 01:01:05,427
♪ Do you ever
1239
01:01:06,963 --> 01:01:09,097
♪ Speak
1240
01:01:11,134 --> 01:01:13,869
♪ My
1241
01:01:14,871 --> 01:01:19,808
♪ Name?
1242
01:01:26,516 --> 01:01:29,985
(camera shutter clicks)
1243
01:01:37,527 --> 01:01:40,762
(dramatic music)
1244
01:01:40,764 --> 01:01:43,165
- Well, they're
calling it "Kissgate."
1245
01:01:43,167 --> 01:01:45,367
A campaign scandal that
has rocked Washington
1246
01:01:45,369 --> 01:01:47,936
and put this election
back up for grabs.
1247
01:01:47,938 --> 01:01:52,140
America's conservative
sweetheart turns out to be
1248
01:01:52,875 --> 01:01:53,842
a lesbian.
1249
01:01:55,344 --> 01:01:57,245
Now, Democrats are
calling flip-flop,
1250
01:01:57,247 --> 01:02:00,916
and Weston's socially
conservative base is furious.
1251
01:02:00,918 --> 01:02:02,417
The big question now, of course,
1252
01:02:02,419 --> 01:02:04,019
what did Kenny Weston know
1253
01:02:04,021 --> 01:02:06,588
about Liberty's
sexual preference,
1254
01:02:06,590 --> 01:02:08,423
and when did he know it?
1255
01:02:08,425 --> 01:02:11,693
(jackhammer echoing)
1256
01:02:11,695 --> 01:02:14,496
(horns honking)
1257
01:02:30,146 --> 01:02:33,715
- I'm really sorry,
Kenny, I messed up.
1258
01:02:37,386 --> 01:02:38,220
- Well, maybe we--
1259
01:02:38,222 --> 01:02:39,721
- You messed up?
1260
01:02:39,723 --> 01:02:41,289
You fucked over
our whole campaign
1261
01:02:41,291 --> 01:02:42,891
just so you could score
a little more pussy.
1262
01:02:42,893 --> 01:02:44,426
- You shut your dirty mouth!
1263
01:02:44,428 --> 01:02:45,594
You can't talk to her like that!
1264
01:02:45,596 --> 01:02:46,428
- [Dick] Says who?
1265
01:02:46,430 --> 01:02:47,395
- Says me!
1266
01:02:50,399 --> 01:02:54,703
- Well, at the very least, it
was incredibly unprofessional.
1267
01:02:57,106 --> 01:03:00,642
- I just wanted to
say how sorry I am
1268
01:03:00,644 --> 01:03:03,912
for all the trouble I've caused.
1269
01:03:03,914 --> 01:03:05,280
I'm going away.
1270
01:03:10,853 --> 01:03:12,254
- Liberty, it's okay.
1271
01:03:12,256 --> 01:03:13,922
Just because your father's
a bigot, doesn't--
1272
01:03:13,924 --> 01:03:15,423
- He's not a bigot!
1273
01:03:15,425 --> 01:03:16,658
- That's not what I
meant to say --
1274
01:03:16,660 --> 01:03:19,494
- He's the kindest, most
generous person I know.
1275
01:03:19,496 --> 01:03:22,297
If anybody's a bigot, it's you.
1276
01:03:23,533 --> 01:03:24,766
- What?
1277
01:03:24,768 --> 01:03:25,934
- You think anybody
who believes in God
1278
01:03:25,936 --> 01:03:28,603
is stupid, or naive, or
deluded or --
1279
01:03:28,605 --> 01:03:29,604
- I never said that.
1280
01:03:29,606 --> 01:03:32,007
- You didn't have to!
1281
01:03:32,009 --> 01:03:33,508
- Why are you taking
this out on me?
1282
01:03:33,510 --> 01:03:35,243
I'm not the one ...
1283
01:03:37,613 --> 01:03:38,446
I love you.
1284
01:03:38,448 --> 01:03:39,581
- Oh please.
1285
01:03:39,583 --> 01:03:44,452
You don't even know
what real love is.
1286
01:03:44,454 --> 01:03:46,955
It's about self sacrifice.
1287
01:03:46,957 --> 01:03:50,625
It's about doing
things for others.
1288
01:03:50,627 --> 01:03:55,197
Doing the right thing, even if
it's not the thing you want.
1289
01:03:55,199 --> 01:03:59,000
Giving up your own life
for someone else's.
1290
01:03:59,669 --> 01:04:01,203
That's real love.
1291
01:04:03,306 --> 01:04:04,573
- No.
1292
01:04:04,575 --> 01:04:06,308
That's codependency.
1293
01:04:06,310 --> 01:04:08,543
There's a big difference.
1294
01:04:09,545 --> 01:04:12,848
- So you're saying
Jesus was codependent?
1295
01:04:12,850 --> 01:04:14,082
I knew it.
1296
01:04:14,084 --> 01:04:16,051
- Liberty, wait a sec.
1297
01:04:20,890 --> 01:04:25,560
- Oh Lord, we ask you for
the courage to change,
1298
01:04:25,562 --> 01:04:27,996
for we know if we come
before you humbly,
1299
01:04:27,998 --> 01:04:32,667
and ask for forgiveness,
we will be born anew.
1300
01:04:32,669 --> 01:04:36,071
Oh, yours is a wonderworking,
transformative power,
1301
01:04:36,073 --> 01:04:39,107
a power to heal body and spirit.
1302
01:04:39,109 --> 01:04:41,710
We ask you to use
your awesome power
1303
01:04:41,712 --> 01:04:46,047
to heal Liberty, who's
suffering so, at this moment.
1304
01:04:46,049 --> 01:04:50,886
Oh Lord, we ask you to fill her
afresh with the Holy Spirit,
1305
01:04:50,888 --> 01:04:53,889
and to make her clean again.
1306
01:04:53,891 --> 01:04:55,457
Thank you, Lord.
1307
01:04:55,459 --> 01:04:57,926
In Jesus name we pray, Amen.
1308
01:04:59,795 --> 01:05:00,762
- Amen.
1309
01:05:01,631 --> 01:05:04,699
- Honey, it's gonna be okay.
1310
01:05:04,701 --> 01:05:07,903
- [Liberty] I think praying
made me feel even worse.
1311
01:05:07,905 --> 01:05:10,639
- But you're gonna be all
better real soon.
1312
01:05:10,641 --> 01:05:11,873
The brochure says this place
1313
01:05:11,875 --> 01:05:13,074
has all the most
modern treatments,
1314
01:05:13,076 --> 01:05:16,211
and a cure rate of over 90%.
1315
01:05:16,213 --> 01:05:18,546
Plus, with all
those gay men there,
1316
01:05:18,548 --> 01:05:20,782
you know they're gonna
have a terrific glee club.
1317
01:05:28,224 --> 01:05:30,992
- I think drinking is
making me feel worse.
1318
01:05:30,994 --> 01:05:32,627
- It usually does.
1319
01:05:32,629 --> 01:05:35,764
You're definitely
not a happy drunk.
1320
01:05:36,766 --> 01:05:38,667
- I shouldn't have kissed her.
1321
01:05:38,669 --> 01:05:40,235
- It's not like
she didn't want to.
1322
01:05:40,237 --> 01:05:43,538
- No, maybe I just
pushed her into it.
1323
01:05:45,574 --> 01:05:48,310
- I really think
she'll come around.
1324
01:05:48,312 --> 01:05:49,778
Just be patient.
1325
01:05:50,513 --> 01:05:52,380
(Dramatic music from T.V.)
1326
01:05:52,748 --> 01:05:53,982
- And now, new developments
1327
01:05:53,984 --> 01:05:56,284
in the unfolding
Kissgate scandal.
1328
01:05:56,286 --> 01:05:57,919
America's sweetheart,
Liberty Smith
1329
01:05:57,921 --> 01:05:59,955
has checked into what
sources close to the family
1330
01:05:59,957 --> 01:06:03,258
describe as a "gender
reorientation facility."
1331
01:06:03,260 --> 01:06:05,627
Exclusive video of Liberty
now as she enters the
1332
01:06:05,629 --> 01:06:08,096
Straight From the Heart
Reparative Therapy Camp
1333
01:06:08,098 --> 01:06:09,764
outside of Lynchburg, Virginia.
1334
01:06:09,766 --> 01:06:11,232
- Motherfucker.
1335
01:06:16,372 --> 01:06:19,908
(melancholy piano music)
1336
01:06:45,167 --> 01:06:48,536
♪ Some say that losin'
1337
01:06:49,472 --> 01:06:53,274
♪ Makes a heart grow strong
1338
01:06:54,477 --> 01:06:58,847
♪ Some say, "You'll forget her
1339
01:06:58,849 --> 01:07:01,783
♪ Before too long."
1340
01:07:03,819 --> 01:07:06,988
♪ Some say, "You're better off."
1341
01:07:06,990 --> 01:07:12,660
♪ Some say, "It all depends."
1342
01:07:14,030 --> 01:07:18,199
♪ Some say it's "better
to have loved and lost."
1343
01:07:18,201 --> 01:07:20,435
♪ But I say I never
1344
01:07:20,437 --> 01:07:26,541
♪ Will be lost in
this love again
1345
01:07:27,343 --> 01:07:29,677
♪ Oh 'cause love
1346
01:07:29,679 --> 01:07:35,183
♪ Makes the wise ones foolish
1347
01:07:36,952 --> 01:07:39,954
♪ And do things
1348
01:07:39,956 --> 01:07:45,360
♪ That they should not do
1349
01:07:46,862 --> 01:07:52,333
♪ And love makes
the foolish ones
1350
01:07:52,868 --> 01:07:56,271
♪ Think they're so wise
1351
01:07:56,273 --> 01:08:00,241
♪ That all of their dreams
1352
01:08:00,243 --> 01:08:04,379
♪ May come true
1353
01:08:06,949 --> 01:08:11,386
♪ I'm tired of the moonlight
1354
01:08:11,388 --> 01:08:15,023
♪ That shines in her hair
1355
01:08:16,325 --> 01:08:20,061
♪ I'm so done with dancin'
1356
01:08:20,896 --> 01:08:24,766
♪ In our perfect little pair
1357
01:08:25,601 --> 01:08:28,770
♪ Those sweet tender kisses
1358
01:08:28,772 --> 01:08:34,909
♪ That I wished would not end
1359
01:08:35,478 --> 01:08:40,448
♪ Some say it's
better to have
loved and lost
1360
01:08:40,583 --> 01:08:42,917
♪ But I say I never
1361
01:08:42,919 --> 01:08:47,755
♪ Will be lost in
this love again
1362
01:08:47,757 --> 01:08:51,259
♪ Sometimes I get so lonely
1363
01:08:51,261 --> 01:08:54,896
♪ Sometimes I get so blue
1364
01:08:56,098 --> 01:08:59,300
♪ Sometimes I get
so damned depressed
1365
01:08:59,302 --> 01:09:04,439
♪ That I can't
see my way through
1366
01:09:05,274 --> 01:09:08,176
♪ But one things for certain
1367
01:09:08,178 --> 01:09:14,616
♪ I am staying on this track
1368
01:09:15,117 --> 01:09:18,019
♪ Unless she wants me still
1369
01:09:18,021 --> 01:09:22,323
♪ 'Cause I would
gladly take her back
1370
01:09:25,027 --> 01:09:28,329
♪ What was I thinking
1371
01:09:29,064 --> 01:09:32,133
♪ What have I done
1372
01:09:33,636 --> 01:09:37,805
♪ Messed up my whole life
1373
01:09:37,807 --> 01:09:42,110
♪ I really thought
she was the one
1374
01:09:42,978 --> 01:09:46,414
♪ I thought I found a lover
1375
01:09:46,416 --> 01:09:51,819
♪ But I lost my best friend
1376
01:09:53,055 --> 01:09:57,358
♪ Some say it's better
to have loved and lost
1377
01:09:58,661 --> 01:10:01,863
♪ But I can't forget her
1378
01:10:01,865 --> 01:10:06,334
♪ I'll be lost in this love
1379
01:10:06,336 --> 01:10:13,641
♪ 'Til the end
1380
01:10:17,012 --> 01:10:18,947
- Well good morning, everybody.
1381
01:10:18,949 --> 01:10:23,251
Welcome back, um, I
would like to begin
1382
01:10:23,253 --> 01:10:25,353
by introducing
a new friend.
1383
01:10:25,355 --> 01:10:27,722
Say hello to Liberty.
1384
01:10:27,923 --> 01:10:29,691
- [Ladies] Hi, Liberty.
1385
01:10:29,693 --> 01:10:33,027
- Let me begin by saying
how truly blessed we are
1386
01:10:33,029 --> 01:10:34,529
to have you with us today.
1387
01:10:34,531 --> 01:10:39,434
We know how difficult it can
be to take that first step.
1388
01:10:39,902 --> 01:10:43,538
But I am living proof
that change is possible.
1389
01:10:45,107 --> 01:10:47,308
Most of our graduates
go on to lead happy
1390
01:10:47,310 --> 01:10:48,543
and productive lives
1391
01:10:48,545 --> 01:10:52,213
with attractive
opposite sex partners.
1392
01:10:52,215 --> 01:10:54,048
Some become proud parents
1393
01:10:54,050 --> 01:10:57,485
and leaders of
Fortune 500 companies.
1394
01:10:57,487 --> 01:10:59,821
Some even go on to become
1395
01:10:59,823 --> 01:11:03,157
important figures in the church.
1396
01:11:03,159 --> 01:11:05,860
So, let's get started.
1397
01:11:08,264 --> 01:11:10,231
♪ When God made Adam from
(classical music)
1398
01:11:10,233 --> 01:11:14,168
♪ A dirty lump of clay
1399
01:11:14,170 --> 01:11:18,473
♪ He saw that it was
good but not enough
1400
01:11:19,408 --> 01:11:22,777
♪ So he snatched a rib from Adam
1401
01:11:22,779 --> 01:11:26,281
♪ To fashion the first madam
1402
01:11:26,283 --> 01:11:29,350
♪ And that is why
you girls and boys
1403
01:11:29,352 --> 01:11:33,488
♪ Are made from different stuff
1404
01:11:35,257 --> 01:11:38,092
♪ Why girls like symphonies
1405
01:11:38,094 --> 01:11:42,697
♪ And quilting bees,
and pretty please
1406
01:11:42,699 --> 01:11:47,335
♪ And meeting
girlfriends at the mall
1407
01:11:47,337 --> 01:11:50,438
♪ But most of all
1408
01:11:50,440 --> 01:11:54,008
♪ Most of all girls like boys
1409
01:11:54,010 --> 01:11:56,978
(women sighing passionately)
1410
01:11:56,980 --> 01:11:59,781
♪ And boys like hockey pucks
1411
01:11:59,783 --> 01:12:01,883
♪ And pickup trucks
1412
01:12:01,885 --> 01:12:04,285
♪ And 12-point bucks
1413
01:12:04,287 --> 01:12:08,823
♪ And getting drunk
with all the guys
1414
01:12:08,825 --> 01:12:12,060
♪ So it's no surprise
1415
01:12:12,062 --> 01:12:15,563
♪ Most of all boys like girls
1416
01:12:15,565 --> 01:12:18,232
(men grunting)
1417
01:12:18,234 --> 01:12:20,868
♪ But occasionally
(salsa music)
1418
01:12:20,870 --> 01:12:23,805
♪ We get confused
1419
01:12:23,807 --> 01:12:25,807
♪ The wires get crossed
1420
01:12:25,809 --> 01:12:28,309
♪ And the message is lost
1421
01:12:28,311 --> 01:12:30,645
♪ But when temptation calls
1422
01:12:30,647 --> 01:12:33,314
♪ We must refuse
1423
01:12:33,316 --> 01:12:35,850
♪'Cause if you give
in to your nature
1424
01:12:35,852 --> 01:12:38,486
♪ You're bound to lose
1425
01:12:38,488 --> 01:12:39,954
Oh, come on now!
1426
01:12:40,889 --> 01:12:43,691
Boy, girl, boy, girl, boy, girl!
1427
01:12:46,328 --> 01:12:49,797
(classical piano music)
1428
01:12:57,773 --> 01:13:00,041
And one, two, three.
1429
01:13:00,043 --> 01:13:03,644
And, two, three.
1430
01:13:10,686 --> 01:13:12,887
♪ But occasionally
(salsa music)
1431
01:13:12,889 --> 01:13:15,690
♪ We are perplexed
1432
01:13:15,692 --> 01:13:20,027
♪ We feel no effects
from the opposite sex
1433
01:13:20,029 --> 01:13:22,530
♪ But when temptation calls
1434
01:13:22,532 --> 01:13:25,433
♪ We must refuse
1435
01:13:25,435 --> 01:13:27,769
♪ 'Cause if you give
in to your nature
1436
01:13:27,771 --> 01:13:31,406
♪ You're bound to lose
1437
01:13:31,408 --> 01:13:35,543
♪ (Ladies)
La di da yah,
la di da yah
1438
01:13:35,545 --> 01:13:40,882
♪ La di da yah, la
di da di da di da
1439
01:13:40,884 --> 01:13:43,584
♪ Di da di da
1440
01:13:43,586 --> 01:13:48,356
♪ La di di da di di
yah da da da dah
1441
01:13:48,490 --> 01:13:52,894
♪ La di da yah,
La di da yah
1442
01:13:52,896 --> 01:13:58,299
♪ La di da yah
La di da di da di da
1443
01:13:58,301 --> 01:14:01,235
♪ Di da
di da
1444
01:14:01,237 --> 01:14:05,406
♪ La la la la la la
1445
01:14:05,408 --> 01:14:07,642
(salsa music)
1446
01:14:07,943 --> 01:14:11,412
- That's right, men
come on, dig deeper!
1447
01:14:50,486 --> 01:14:51,686
♪ And girls like
1448
01:14:51,688 --> 01:14:52,653
♪ Diamond rings
1449
01:14:52,655 --> 01:14:53,821
♪ And boys like
1450
01:14:53,823 --> 01:14:54,655
♪ Breaking things
1451
01:14:54,657 --> 01:14:55,857
♪ And girls like
1452
01:14:55,859 --> 01:14:56,991
♪ Picking roses
1453
01:14:56,993 --> 01:14:57,825
♪ And boys like
1454
01:14:57,827 --> 01:14:58,960
♪ Punching noses
1455
01:14:58,962 --> 01:15:00,061
♪ And girls like
1456
01:15:00,063 --> 01:15:00,895
♪ Baby dolls
1457
01:15:00,897 --> 01:15:03,731
♪ But most of all
1458
01:15:03,733 --> 01:15:07,335
♪ Most of all boys like girls
1459
01:15:07,337 --> 01:15:08,302
♪ And girls like
1460
01:15:08,304 --> 01:15:09,370
♪ Being flirty
1461
01:15:09,372 --> 01:15:10,304
♪ And boys like
1462
01:15:10,306 --> 01:15:11,305
♪ Getting dirty
1463
01:15:11,307 --> 01:15:12,373
♪ And girls like
1464
01:15:12,375 --> 01:15:13,474
♪ Cute and cuter
1465
01:15:13,476 --> 01:15:14,408
♪ And boys like
1466
01:15:14,410 --> 01:15:15,643
♪ Giant hooters
1467
01:15:15,645 --> 01:15:16,544
♪ And girls like
1468
01:15:16,546 --> 01:15:17,712
♪ Phone calls
1469
01:15:17,714 --> 01:15:20,314
♪ But most of all
1470
01:15:20,316 --> 01:15:22,550
♪ Most of all
1471
01:15:22,552 --> 01:15:26,053
♪ Boys like girls
1472
01:15:26,055 --> 01:15:28,189
♪ Girls like boys
1473
01:15:28,191 --> 01:15:31,492
♪ Boys like girls
1474
01:15:31,494 --> 01:15:33,828
♪ Girls like boys!!!
1475
01:15:33,830 --> 01:15:36,097
(departing footsteps)
1476
01:15:36,099 --> 01:15:38,599
Well!
(door slams)
1477
01:15:38,601 --> 01:15:41,969
Well it isn't easy being normal.
1478
01:15:42,337 --> 01:15:46,607
(heavy breathing)
(groaning)
1479
01:15:46,609 --> 01:15:47,441
(knocking on door)
1480
01:15:47,443 --> 01:15:48,409
- Come in.
1481
01:15:51,179 --> 01:15:53,581
Ah, Miss Jones.
1482
01:15:53,583 --> 01:15:55,917
What a pleasure
to see you today!
1483
01:15:55,919 --> 01:15:57,518
- Can I talk to
you for a moment?
1484
01:15:57,520 --> 01:15:59,687
- Well sure, come on in.
1485
01:15:59,689 --> 01:16:01,956
I'm sorry, the place
usually isn't this bad.
1486
01:16:01,958 --> 01:16:03,090
Have a seat.
1487
01:16:06,061 --> 01:16:08,262
Can I get you
something to drink?
1488
01:16:08,264 --> 01:16:10,364
Coffee or pop or juice?
1489
01:16:10,366 --> 01:16:11,599
- No, thanks.
1490
01:16:13,535 --> 01:16:15,603
- Well, you must
be as overwhelmed
1491
01:16:15,605 --> 01:16:17,405
by this whole thing as I am.
1492
01:16:17,407 --> 01:16:20,107
- [Yolanda] Actually, I'm not
with the campaign anymore.
1493
01:16:20,109 --> 01:16:21,075
- Oh.
1494
01:16:21,077 --> 01:16:22,310
- [Yolanda] Reverend Smith.
1495
01:16:22,312 --> 01:16:26,047
- (clears throat) It's J.J.
1496
01:16:26,049 --> 01:16:28,983
- I know you only want what
you think is best for Liberty.
1497
01:16:28,985 --> 01:16:33,721
- Hey, it's not what I
want, it's what God wants.
1498
01:16:33,723 --> 01:16:37,625
- Don't you think God
wants Liberty to be happy?
1499
01:16:37,627 --> 01:16:40,494
- Uh, yeah, but sin can't
make a person happy,
1500
01:16:40,496 --> 01:16:42,096
not in the long run.
1501
01:16:42,098 --> 01:16:45,232
- And loving someone,
is that a sin?
1502
01:16:46,234 --> 01:16:47,535
- Oh, well ...
1503
01:16:51,773 --> 01:16:54,642
- I don't know if
Libby ever told you,
1504
01:16:54,644 --> 01:16:58,179
but my father was a pastor.
1505
01:16:58,181 --> 01:16:59,780
- [JJ] I don't recall
that she did.
1506
01:16:59,782 --> 01:17:02,116
- I grew up in the church.
1507
01:17:02,118 --> 01:17:05,853
There were five of us, and
my oldest brother Jimmy,
1508
01:17:05,855 --> 01:17:09,624
he was an incredible
singer as a young man.
1509
01:17:09,626 --> 01:17:12,026
Everybody said he had
the most beautiful voice
1510
01:17:12,028 --> 01:17:13,494
they'd ever heard.
1511
01:17:15,764 --> 01:17:18,466
Until one day, my dad
1512
01:17:19,267 --> 01:17:22,770
found him with another
boy from the choir.
1513
01:17:22,772 --> 01:17:24,171
Were they ...
1514
01:17:24,173 --> 01:17:27,174
- [Yolanda] Daddy
was furious.
1515
01:17:27,943 --> 01:17:33,948
Said, no son of his was
gonna be a "candy ass faggot."
1516
01:17:35,050 --> 01:17:36,951
Jimmy was so ashamed.
1517
01:17:38,286 --> 01:17:41,122
We didn't see him for years.
1518
01:17:41,124 --> 01:17:43,858
Didn't know if he
was dead or alive.
1519
01:17:43,860 --> 01:17:46,060
- Well, what happened to him?
1520
01:17:46,062 --> 01:17:48,362
- He ran away to the city.
1521
01:17:49,665 --> 01:17:53,634
Lord knows what he had to
do to survive in those days.
1522
01:17:53,636 --> 01:17:55,536
He was 16.
1523
01:17:57,039 --> 01:17:59,607
- Did you ever see him again?
1524
01:18:01,076 --> 01:18:04,979
- I did, couple
times before he died.
1525
01:18:06,982 --> 01:18:09,650
He didn't look the same though.
1526
01:18:11,053 --> 01:18:13,020
And the saddest thing ...
1527
01:18:14,423 --> 01:18:15,389
- What?
1528
01:18:17,492 --> 01:18:20,127
- He never sang another note,
1529
01:18:21,329 --> 01:18:24,131
not one note.
1530
01:18:25,167 --> 01:18:29,003
Anointed by God with
a beautiful voice,
1531
01:18:29,005 --> 01:18:31,372
and he never used it again.
1532
01:18:33,275 --> 01:18:36,343
I guess he felt like
he didn't have much
1533
01:18:36,345 --> 01:18:38,212
to sing praise about.
1534
01:18:41,516 --> 01:18:47,021
♪ If your God is one
(soulful gospel music)
1535
01:18:48,857 --> 01:18:53,828
♪ Who fills a child with fear
1536
01:18:55,130 --> 01:19:01,268
♪ And if your God is one
1537
01:19:01,770 --> 01:19:09,343
♪ Who commands but doesn't hear
1538
01:19:11,813 --> 01:19:18,018
♪ And if your God is one
1539
01:19:18,253 --> 01:19:24,358
♪ Who's certain
and self righteous
1540
01:19:27,062 --> 01:19:30,998
♪ Then Mary never had a son
1541
01:19:31,000 --> 01:19:36,237
♪ There's no hope for anyone
1542
01:19:36,938 --> 01:19:40,174
♪ Jesus was an Atheist
1543
01:19:40,176 --> 01:19:44,078
♪ And so am I
1544
01:19:44,080 --> 01:19:46,247
- Now just wait a second,
this is a house of God.
1545
01:19:46,249 --> 01:19:47,915
You can't just say that.
1546
01:19:47,917 --> 01:19:50,851
♪ If your God
1547
01:19:50,853 --> 01:19:53,087
♪ Is one
1548
01:19:53,089 --> 01:19:58,125
♪ Who clings to his opinions
1549
01:19:59,327 --> 01:20:03,230
♪ And if your God is one who
1550
01:20:04,099 --> 01:20:07,701
♪ Makes love feel like shame
1551
01:20:07,703 --> 01:20:13,307
♪ Tell me if your God is one
1552
01:20:13,441 --> 01:20:19,480
♪ Who hates the
same things you do
1553
01:20:19,648 --> 01:20:21,615
♪ Oh
1554
01:20:23,351 --> 01:20:25,986
♪ There is no hill at Calvary
1555
01:20:25,988 --> 01:20:28,322
♪ The future's bleak
as it can be
1556
01:20:28,324 --> 01:20:31,992
♪ Jesus was an Atheist
1557
01:20:31,994 --> 01:20:36,597
♪ So am I
1558
01:20:36,865 --> 01:20:41,368
♪ Oh so am I
1559
01:20:41,370 --> 01:20:43,337
♪ Ooh
1560
01:20:44,239 --> 01:20:47,508
♪ 'Cause how can love be wrong?
1561
01:20:47,742 --> 01:20:48,909
♪ It's not wrong!
1562
01:20:48,911 --> 01:20:52,146
♪ And how can
hate be right?
1563
01:20:52,148 --> 01:20:53,581
♪ It's not right!
1564
01:20:53,583 --> 01:20:59,653
♪ How could an
ever loving Father
1565
01:21:00,689 --> 01:21:04,458
♪ Cast a stone at
his own children?
1566
01:21:05,760 --> 01:21:09,563
♪ It's not right,
it's not right.
1567
01:21:09,565 --> 01:21:11,999
♪ But if your God
1568
01:21:12,001 --> 01:21:14,835
♪ Is one
1569
01:21:14,837 --> 01:21:20,040
♪ Who's filled with
deep compassion
1570
01:21:20,042 --> 01:21:25,412
♪ And if your God is one
1571
01:21:25,414 --> 01:21:30,684
♪ Who feels another's pain
1572
01:21:30,686 --> 01:21:35,990
♪ And if your God is one
1573
01:21:36,124 --> 01:21:45,065
♪ Who sees the
light in every
face.
1574
01:21:45,067 --> 01:21:48,202
♪I'll sing praises in a song
1575
01:21:48,204 --> 01:21:52,873
♪ There's hope
inside of everyone
1576
01:21:52,875 --> 01:21:56,777
♪ I know there is a God
1577
01:21:56,779 --> 01:22:05,719
♪ And God is love
1578
01:22:06,254 --> 01:22:10,357
♪ Oh my God is love
1579
01:22:11,226 --> 01:22:13,727
♪ Oh
1580
01:22:13,729 --> 01:22:17,398
♪ God is love, God is love
1581
01:22:17,400 --> 01:22:19,133
♪ Oh
1582
01:22:19,135 --> 01:22:20,768
(Choir) How can love be wrong?
1583
01:22:20,770 --> 01:22:23,337
♪ How can it be wrong?
How can it be wrong?
1584
01:22:23,339 --> 01:22:25,606
♪(Choir) How can hate
be right?
1585
01:22:25,608 --> 01:22:28,409
♪Ooo, how can it be right?
1586
01:22:28,411 --> 01:22:33,948
♪ How could a gentle
Prince of Peace
1587
01:22:33,950 --> 01:22:39,086
♪ make a war on
his own children?
1588
01:22:39,921 --> 01:22:44,058
♪ Oh, if your God
1589
01:22:45,093 --> 01:22:47,461
♪ Is one
1590
01:22:47,463 --> 01:22:51,432
♪ Who surpasses understanding
1591
01:22:52,600 --> 01:22:57,438
♪ And if your God is one
1592
01:22:57,772 --> 01:23:03,477
♪ Who's called by
many names
1593
01:23:03,479 --> 01:23:06,013
♪ Love is patient, love is kind
1594
01:23:06,015 --> 01:23:08,515
♪ It's greater than
the prophet's mind
1595
01:23:08,517 --> 01:23:10,818
♪ You can have the
most unshaking faith
1596
01:23:10,820 --> 01:23:14,054
♪ But if you don't have
love, it's all a waste
1597
01:23:14,056 --> 01:23:16,357
♪ Always feeling gratitude
1598
01:23:16,359 --> 01:23:18,792
♪ It holds no grudge
and it does not brood
1599
01:23:18,794 --> 01:23:21,061
♪ You can have the
most angelic voice
1600
01:23:21,063 --> 01:23:23,964
♪ But if you don't have
love, it's all just noise
1601
01:23:23,966 --> 01:23:26,533
♪(Choir) My God is your God
my God is love.
1602
01:23:26,535 --> 01:23:30,838
♪ My God is love,
my God is love
1603
01:23:32,040 --> 01:23:35,676
♪ He is love, he is love
1604
01:23:37,145 --> 01:23:41,281
♪ My God is love
1605
01:23:42,817 --> 01:23:44,485
♪ He is love
1606
01:23:44,487 --> 01:23:47,187
♪(Choir) My God is your God
my God is Love.
1607
01:23:47,189 --> 01:23:50,891
♪ My God, my God is love
1608
01:23:54,529 --> 01:23:59,333
♪ My God is
1609
01:23:59,335 --> 01:24:02,970
♪ Love
1610
01:24:07,675 --> 01:24:12,346
(winter wind blowing)
1611
01:24:22,457 --> 01:24:30,364
(mysterious dream music)
1612
01:24:33,768 --> 01:24:38,172
(echoing footsteps)
1613
01:24:41,976 --> 01:24:43,243
- Mom?
1614
01:24:52,253 --> 01:24:54,888
- You came out so beautifully.
1615
01:24:56,458 --> 01:24:59,126
- I still miss you, Mom.
1616
01:24:59,128 --> 01:25:02,296
- You know what you have to do.
1617
01:25:02,298 --> 01:25:04,465
- But what about Daddy?
1618
01:25:04,467 --> 01:25:06,600
- Oh, he'll get over it.
1619
01:25:07,902 --> 01:25:10,971
And, by the way, could you
ask him to get over me?
1620
01:25:10,973 --> 01:25:12,272
I've moved on.
1621
01:25:36,598 --> 01:25:39,066
(running footsteps)
1622
01:25:44,339 --> 01:25:47,241
(birds chirping)
1623
01:26:07,629 --> 01:26:11,431
- [Voiceover] And five,
four, three, two ...
1624
01:26:13,501 --> 01:26:14,868
- Senator Weston,
thank you so much
1625
01:26:14,870 --> 01:26:16,803
for joining us here on
The Briefing Room today.
1626
01:26:16,805 --> 01:26:18,172
- Well, it's my pleasure, Rolf.
1627
01:26:18,174 --> 01:26:19,573
- Let's get right to it.
1628
01:26:19,575 --> 01:26:21,842
The latest polls show
that the general public,
1629
01:26:21,844 --> 01:26:23,911
and even a majority
within your own party,
1630
01:26:23,913 --> 01:26:25,979
have an overwhelmingly
favorable opinion
1631
01:26:25,981 --> 01:26:27,548
of the Liberty-Levine
relationship
1632
01:26:27,550 --> 01:26:30,250
since their appearance on
the Sunday talks last week.
1633
01:26:30,252 --> 01:26:31,418
In fact, many observers
1634
01:26:31,420 --> 01:26:33,153
attribute your
sagging poll numbers
1635
01:26:33,155 --> 01:26:35,589
to your poor handling
of the Kissgate scandal.
1636
01:26:35,591 --> 01:26:38,025
Would you consider
revising your position
1637
01:26:38,027 --> 01:26:39,326
on their relationship
1638
01:26:39,328 --> 01:26:42,996
and on same-sex
marriage, generally?
1639
01:26:42,998 --> 01:26:45,532
- Well, Rolf, as
I have stated before,
1640
01:26:45,534 --> 01:26:47,401
I bear no personal animosity
1641
01:26:47,403 --> 01:26:49,536
toward Liberty or Miss Levine
1642
01:26:49,538 --> 01:26:53,807
or the homosexual people,
as a people, generally.
1643
01:26:55,210 --> 01:26:59,513
In fact, I wish them all
the happiness in the world.
1644
01:26:59,515 --> 01:27:03,317
I believe that America
is all about freedom.
1645
01:27:04,586 --> 01:27:07,854
That's why my ancestors came
here in the first place.
1646
01:27:07,856 --> 01:27:10,190
Well, they weren't
gay, of course.
1647
01:27:10,192 --> 01:27:12,859
You know, if they were gay,
I wouldn't even be here.
1648
01:27:12,861 --> 01:27:14,127
But, uh, you know,
I don't even know
1649
01:27:14,129 --> 01:27:16,763
if they had gay
people back then,
1650
01:27:16,765 --> 01:27:18,999
except maybe the cowboys.
1651
01:27:20,034 --> 01:27:21,201
Did you ever see that
movie Humpback Mountain
1652
01:27:21,203 --> 01:27:22,703
about the fellers--
1653
01:27:22,705 --> 01:27:26,540
- So you still do not
support same sex marriage?
1654
01:27:26,542 --> 01:27:28,809
- I didn't say that.
1655
01:27:28,811 --> 01:27:30,310
Did I?
1656
01:27:30,312 --> 01:27:33,046
(slow waltz music)
1657
01:28:11,619 --> 01:28:15,222
♪ Do you take this woman
1658
01:28:16,324 --> 01:28:19,626
♪ To have and to hold
1659
01:28:21,262 --> 01:28:25,932
♪ When she's frail
and she's feeble
1660
01:28:25,934 --> 01:28:29,670
♪ When she's tired and old?
1661
01:28:33,941 --> 01:28:37,110
♪ I do
1662
01:28:39,947 --> 01:28:43,784
♪ But do you take this woman
1663
01:28:45,453 --> 01:28:48,422
♪ Beginning today
1664
01:28:50,024 --> 01:28:53,894
♪ Will you go where I'm going
1665
01:28:53,896 --> 01:28:57,964
♪ And stay where I stay
1666
01:29:02,003 --> 01:29:05,038
♪ I do
1667
01:29:06,808 --> 01:29:10,377
♪ And even though
1668
01:29:10,379 --> 01:29:15,949
♪ You see my imperfections
1669
01:29:18,519 --> 01:29:20,987
♪ Even though they say
1670
01:29:20,989 --> 01:29:25,726
♪ That lovers change
1671
01:29:27,495 --> 01:29:30,330
♪ Even though we never know
1672
01:29:30,332 --> 01:29:36,503
♪ What this life may bring
1673
01:29:38,940 --> 01:29:42,075
♪ I'll trust in you
1674
01:29:43,745 --> 01:29:47,881
♪ I'll trust you, too
1675
01:29:48,616 --> 01:29:51,852
♪ I'll stay with you
1676
01:29:53,388 --> 01:29:57,591
♪ I'll stay here, too
1677
01:29:58,092 --> 01:30:02,028
♪ As long as we both
1678
01:30:02,030 --> 01:30:07,834
♪ Shall live
1679
01:30:09,604 --> 01:30:13,173
♪ (Choir)Do you take this woman
1680
01:30:14,142 --> 01:30:18,845
♪ To honor and obey?
1681
01:30:19,547 --> 01:30:23,650
♪ When you know you're
right and she is wrong
1682
01:30:23,652 --> 01:30:27,754
♪ Will you listen anyway?
1683
01:30:27,989 --> 01:30:32,058
♪ (Choir) Do you take this woman
1684
01:30:32,060 --> 01:30:36,263
♪ For rich and for poor?
1685
01:30:37,165 --> 01:30:40,400
♪ If she's recognized and famous
1686
01:30:40,402 --> 01:30:45,739
♪ Or quiet and obscure? And
1687
01:30:45,741 --> 01:30:48,809
♪ [Choir] Even though
you see
1688
01:30:48,811 --> 01:30:51,912
♪ My imperfections
1689
01:30:51,914 --> 01:30:54,514
♪ Even though you
see my imperfections
1690
01:30:54,516 --> 01:30:57,484
♪ (Choir) Even though they say
1691
01:30:57,486 --> 01:30:59,619
♪ That lovers change
1692
01:30:59,621 --> 01:31:03,023
♪ Even though they say
that lovers change
1693
01:31:03,025 --> 01:31:06,660
♪ Even though we never know
1694
01:31:06,662 --> 01:31:13,233
♪ What this life may bring
1695
01:31:16,370 --> 01:31:19,506
♪ I'll trust in you
1696
01:31:20,341 --> 01:31:24,277
♪ I'll trust you too
1697
01:31:24,279 --> 01:31:27,147
♪ I promise you
1698
01:31:28,282 --> 01:31:31,852
♪ I promise too
1699
01:31:32,053 --> 01:31:37,123
♪ As long as we both shall live
1700
01:31:37,125 --> 01:31:41,328
♪ (Choir) Do you take this woman
1701
01:31:42,296 --> 01:31:46,466
♪ As your first and your last
1702
01:31:46,468 --> 01:31:49,069
♪ I'm still a bit inhibited
1703
01:31:49,071 --> 01:31:53,573
♪ I'm sure that that will pass
1704
01:31:53,575 --> 01:31:57,110
♪ (Choir) Do you take this woman
1705
01:31:59,213 --> 01:32:02,749
♪ To have and to hold?
1706
01:32:02,751 --> 01:32:06,219
♪ My mother's kind of crazy
1707
01:32:06,221 --> 01:32:08,021
♪ My father's
1708
01:32:08,023 --> 01:32:09,389
Well, you know.
1709
01:32:10,391 --> 01:32:14,895
♪(Choir) Do you take this woman
1710
01:32:14,897 --> 01:32:18,031
♪ To honor and obey?
1711
01:32:20,334 --> 01:32:23,236
♪ Sometimes I'm hyper-sensitive
1712
01:32:23,238 --> 01:32:27,374
♪ You're an artist, that's okay
1713
01:32:27,875 --> 01:32:31,244
♪ (Choir)Even though you see
1714
01:32:31,246 --> 01:32:33,713
♪ My imperfections
1715
01:32:33,715 --> 01:32:37,050
♪ Even though you
see my imperfections
1716
01:32:37,052 --> 01:32:39,786
♪ (Choir) Even though they say
1717
01:32:39,788 --> 01:32:42,022
♪ That lovers change
1718
01:32:42,024 --> 01:32:45,425
♪ Even though they say
that lovers change
1719
01:32:45,427 --> 01:32:48,862
♪ (choir)Even though
we never know
1720
01:32:48,864 --> 01:32:55,335
♪ What this love may bring
1721
01:32:55,736 --> 01:32:58,872
♪ I'll trust in you
1722
01:32:59,707 --> 01:33:03,476
♪ I'll trust you too
1723
01:33:03,478 --> 01:33:07,314
♪ I'll stay with you
1724
01:33:07,316 --> 01:33:10,917
♪ I'll stay with you
1725
01:33:10,919 --> 01:33:13,653
♪ I promise you
1726
01:33:13,655 --> 01:33:18,525
♪ all your life
1727
01:33:18,626 --> 01:33:20,961
♪ I'll trust in you
♪ I'll trust in you
1728
01:33:20,963 --> 01:33:23,463
♪ I'll stay with you
♪ I'll stay with you
1729
01:33:23,465 --> 01:33:27,000
♪ As long as we both
1730
01:33:27,002 --> 01:33:31,705
♪ Shall live
1731
01:33:31,973 --> 01:33:36,209
♪ [Choir] As long
as you both
1732
01:33:36,844 --> 01:33:39,579
♪ Shall
1733
01:33:39,581 --> 01:33:40,413
♪ Live
1734
01:33:40,415 --> 01:33:42,449
♪ Oh love
1735
01:33:42,451 --> 01:33:48,755
♪ I finally speak your name
1736
01:33:50,925 --> 01:33:55,295
♪ As long as we both
1737
01:33:55,796 --> 01:34:04,738
♪ Shall live
1738
01:34:08,342 --> 01:34:10,744
(applause)
1739
01:34:14,048 --> 01:34:16,249
(sound of breaking wine glass)
1740
01:34:16,784 --> 01:34:19,753
(cheering and applause)
1741
01:34:34,802 --> 01:34:36,569
(JJ) Doh!
1742
01:34:36,571 --> 01:34:38,138
(crowd laughing)
1743
01:34:38,140 --> 01:34:39,539
L'Chaim!
1744
01:34:39,541 --> 01:34:44,044
(Crowd) L'Chaim!
(laughter, cheering, applause)
1745
01:34:44,046 --> 01:34:48,014
♪(Woman singing)
I want a piece of your heart
1746
01:34:48,016 --> 01:34:52,185
♪ I don't need it forever
1747
01:34:52,187 --> 01:34:56,456
♪ Just want a piece
of your heart ♪
1748
01:35:00,661 --> 01:35:04,664
♪ I want a piece of your heart
1749
01:35:04,666 --> 01:35:09,069
♪ I don't need every last bit
1750
01:35:09,071 --> 01:35:13,073
♪ Just want a place I can start
1751
01:35:13,075 --> 01:35:17,410
♪ To begin to come towards you
1752
01:35:17,412 --> 01:35:21,448
♪ Cross the river then the ocean
1753
01:35:21,450 --> 01:35:25,685
♪ To the place where
you'll be waiting
1754
01:35:25,687 --> 01:35:29,856
♪ Where the time
turns every table
1755
01:35:29,858 --> 01:35:35,595
♪ Over years this
feeling won't fade away ♪
1756
01:35:37,765 --> 01:35:40,066
♪ Hey yeah
1757
01:35:51,278 --> 01:35:55,315
♪ I'll keep a
piece of your heart
1758
01:35:55,317 --> 01:35:59,419
♪ Keep it safe if you let me
1759
01:35:59,421 --> 01:36:03,556
♪ A little piece of your heart
1760
01:36:03,558 --> 01:36:07,827
♪ Hold it close, hold it closer
1761
01:36:07,829 --> 01:36:11,965
♪ Give me a piece of your heart
1762
01:36:11,967 --> 01:36:16,269
♪ And I'll give what you ask me
1763
01:36:16,271 --> 01:36:20,406
♪ Just tell me where I can start
1764
01:36:20,408 --> 01:36:24,811
♪ I will climb any mountain
1765
01:36:24,813 --> 01:36:28,915
♪ Cross the river then the ocean
1766
01:36:28,917 --> 01:36:33,019
♪ To the place where
you'll be waiting
1767
01:36:33,021 --> 01:36:37,190
♪ Where the time
turns every table
1768
01:36:37,192 --> 01:36:41,494
♪ Over years this
feeling won't fade away
1769
01:36:46,100 --> 01:36:49,035
♪ I just want a piece of
1770
01:36:49,037 --> 01:36:51,604
♪ Your heart
1771
01:36:56,010 --> 01:36:57,644
♪ I just want a piece of
1772
01:36:57,646 --> 01:37:00,113
♪ Your heart
1773
01:37:04,351 --> 01:37:06,019
♪ I just want a piece of
1774
01:37:06,021 --> 01:37:08,588
♪ Your heart
1775
01:37:12,793 --> 01:37:14,460
♪ I just want a piece of
1776
01:37:14,462 --> 01:37:16,996
♪ Your heart
1777
01:37:21,235 --> 01:37:22,902
♪ I just want a piece of
1778
01:37:22,904 --> 01:37:25,438
♪ Your heart
1779
01:37:29,643 --> 01:37:31,311
♪ I just want a piece of
1780
01:37:31,313 --> 01:37:33,847
♪ Your heart
1781
01:37:38,085 --> 01:37:39,652
♪ I just want a piece of
1782
01:37:39,654 --> 01:37:42,188
♪ Your heart
1783
01:37:46,493 --> 01:37:47,994
♪ I just want a piece of
1784
01:37:47,996 --> 01:37:50,563
♪ Your heart
1785
01:37:54,935 --> 01:37:56,502
♪ I just want a piece of
1786
01:37:56,504 --> 01:37:59,038
♪ Your heart
1787
01:38:03,377 --> 01:38:04,944
♪ I just want a piece of
1788
01:38:04,946 --> 01:38:07,080
♪ Your heart
125568
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