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Previously on Crazy Ex-Girlfriend...
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Rebecca. Trent?!
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Oh, my God! What are you doing here?!
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I'm gonna have to blackmail you
into being my girlfriend again.
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You should know by now
that I'm not interested.
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I thought we were written in the stars,
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00:00:14,054 --> 00:00:15,757
but I guess I was wrong.
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Feeling a little emotional.
I think it's 'cause everything
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in this town reminds me of Darryl.
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The three of us are just
gonna have a baby together.
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It's no big deal.
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We don't keep secrets
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and we don't lie to each other, okay?
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We've discussed it and we don't do it.
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Trent doesn't just have dirt on me.
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- He has dirt on you, too.
- Oh, my God.
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Turns out I'm not only
good at ruining my own life,
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I'm really good at... ruining
other people's lives.
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I'm gonna mail him my poop,
but tell him it's cupcakes.
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I slept with my ex-boyfriend's dad.
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You kidnapped my mother!
22
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I may have ordered a hit
23
00:00:47,994 --> 00:00:49,527
on Nathaniel's girlfriend, Mona.
24
00:00:49,791 --> 00:00:52,663
I mean, sometimes I do
things that aren't great.
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00:00:52,665 --> 00:00:54,131
No, you're good.
26
00:00:54,133 --> 00:00:56,414
I know you really well, Rebecca,
and you're a good person.
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00:01:01,705 --> 00:01:04,775
♪ Crazy is when I go off the rails ♪
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♪ This is what you've done to me ♪
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♪ Crazy is how your
loving makes me feel ♪
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♪ This is what I always want to be ♪
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♪ I like it when a
girl gets crazy in bed ♪
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♪ Don't mess with the bitch
who's crazy in the head ♪
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- ♪ You do ♪
- ♪ You don't ♪
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♪ Want to be crazy ♪
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- ♪ And you don't ♪
- ♪ You do ♪
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♪ Want to be crazy ♪
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♪ To clarify, yes, no on the crazy ♪
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♪ We hope this helps. ♪
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What?
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-- Synced and corrected by ChrisKe --
-- www.addic7ed.com --
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♪ ♪
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Good morning, baby girl.
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We look beautiful today.
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Why are you here?
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You said you went away.
46
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Oh, I'll never leave you.
47
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I will always be by your side.
48
00:02:01,831 --> 00:02:04,031
We're one and the same, me and you.
49
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It's a dream.
50
00:02:32,395 --> 00:02:33,828
Don't you like this rug?
51
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- Yeah, it's not bad.
- I think it'd be great
52
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for the living room. It's beautiful.
53
00:02:37,500 --> 00:02:40,001
It's tasteful, practical, it's fun.
54
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It's perfect.
55
00:02:42,324 --> 00:02:44,405
Yes, it is, it is. It's perfect.
56
00:02:44,407 --> 00:02:46,040
It literally is perfect. I don't know.
57
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I-I'm just not in love with it.
58
00:02:48,011 --> 00:02:50,411
- Okay. We'll find something else.
- Okay.
59
00:02:52,686 --> 00:02:56,041
You know, I think we're the
only couple in here not fighting.
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00:02:56,066 --> 00:02:59,220
Ooh, okay, well, let's find
something to fight about.
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What do you not like about me?
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Ah, well, you cheated on me a ton.
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00:03:05,097 --> 00:03:06,597
Okay. I should've seen that coming.
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I don't know why
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I thought that would
be a fun game to play.
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- I've made a grave error.
- Come on.
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00:03:14,075 --> 00:03:19,245
Okay, Heather, how are
you feeling this morning?
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00:03:19,864 --> 00:03:22,471
Yeah, it's a lot of
people. I know it's weird.
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Darryl invited them all.
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Well, it's a week until your due date,
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so this could be your last appointment.
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I want all my loved ones around me.
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So, I brought...
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00:03:31,015 --> 00:03:33,582
Oh, Auntie Paula, two-time
mother, birthing sage,
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unofficial supervisor
of this whole enterprise.
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00:03:36,373 --> 00:03:37,886
I'm Hector, Heather's boyfriend,
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and surprisingly cool
with this whole situation.
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- He's the only one I invited.
- I'm Valencia.
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00:03:42,693 --> 00:03:45,227
I like to record things for posterity
and my own sense of self.
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I know what it's about now.
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Hey, guys. Sorry I'm late.
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There's a long line in the cafeteria.
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This is my girlfriend, Beth.
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We're in a love bubble, so
we always like to be together.
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Mwah.
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00:03:55,172 --> 00:03:56,338
Oh, that was good.
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00:03:56,340 --> 00:03:58,273
Sorry, guys. Is it too much?
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A little.
89
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Oh. I'm Rebecca.
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00:04:06,446 --> 00:04:07,992
I donated the egg,
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00:04:08,017 --> 00:04:11,265
so that thing has my DNA in
it, so good luck with that.
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00:04:11,788 --> 00:04:14,756
And I'm Dr. Pratt and I'm
gonna be delivering the baby,
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so I'm also important.
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You know what? You got this.
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You look, you look like a doctor.
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00:04:20,962 --> 00:04:23,398
I'm so tired. I'm just gonna take a nap
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00:04:23,400 --> 00:04:26,668
on, uh, that gurney outside. Yeah.
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00:04:27,429 --> 00:04:29,304
And the rest of you are just gonna stay?
99
00:04:29,609 --> 00:04:31,146
Oh, yeah. No, it's fine.
100
00:04:31,171 --> 00:04:33,935
I mean, one way or another,
we've all seen one, so...
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00:04:33,960 --> 00:04:35,244
All right, let's get started.
102
00:04:35,246 --> 00:04:37,179
Heather, uh, any concerns?
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Oh, yeah, um, birth.
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So, I agreed to carry this baby for free
105
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because I'm whimsical and random,
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00:04:42,953 --> 00:04:45,954
but now I have to give
birth to a baby... uh, oops.
107
00:04:46,117 --> 00:04:48,457
So, can you just, like, hit
me in the head with a hammer
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00:04:48,459 --> 00:04:50,945
and wake me up when it's over
like they did in the '50s?
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00:04:50,970 --> 00:04:52,437
Oh, honey, no.
110
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No, no, no, no.
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00:04:54,265 --> 00:04:55,835
You don't want to miss birth.
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00:04:55,860 --> 00:05:00,046
It's an awe-inspiring
and powerful experience.
113
00:05:00,071 --> 00:05:02,937
Yeah, but, like, does it hurt?
114
00:05:02,962 --> 00:05:04,706
Well, women report different levels
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00:05:04,708 --> 00:05:05,807
of discomfort depending...
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Ah, Ba-Ba-Ba,
Dr. No Vagina.
117
00:05:08,379 --> 00:05:11,947
Yes, it hurts,
but it is so worth it.
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00:05:11,949 --> 00:05:13,548
Okay, listen up.
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Mama is gonna tell you how
wonderful birth really is.
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00:05:29,633 --> 00:05:33,802
♪ Of all the mystery and wonder ♪
121
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♪ And beauty on this Earth ♪
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♪ Nothing can compare ♪
123
00:05:39,176 --> 00:05:43,879
♪ To the miracle of birth ♪
124
00:05:43,881 --> 00:05:46,448
♪ Well, your cervix
has been closed ♪
125
00:05:46,450 --> 00:05:49,785
♪ And plugged with mucus ♪
126
00:05:49,787 --> 00:05:54,489
♪ But soon that viscous
plug will be discharged ♪
127
00:05:54,491 --> 00:05:56,158
It's called the bloody show.
128
00:05:56,160 --> 00:05:58,760
♪ And explosive diarrhea ♪
129
00:05:58,762 --> 00:06:01,897
♪ Means that labor's
drawing nearer ♪
130
00:06:01,899 --> 00:06:04,333
♪ And those sharp,
painful contractions ♪
131
00:06:04,335 --> 00:06:07,569
♪ 'Cause your cervix to enlarge ♪
132
00:06:07,571 --> 00:06:08,770
- Beautiful.
- _
133
00:06:08,772 --> 00:06:10,906
♪ Then you'll race your ass ♪
134
00:06:10,908 --> 00:06:13,875
♪ Over to the hospital ♪
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00:06:14,497 --> 00:06:19,181
♪ Where they'll strap you in
for the hell ride of your life ♪
136
00:06:19,183 --> 00:06:20,482
It's what your body's made for.
137
00:06:20,895 --> 00:06:23,752
♪ You'll soon be in so much pain ♪
138
00:06:23,754 --> 00:06:27,289
♪ That you'll probably exclaim ♪
139
00:06:27,291 --> 00:06:33,328
♪ "Please, just kill me now,
doctor, doula or midwife" ♪
140
00:06:33,330 --> 00:06:37,560
♪ Tear, tear, tear
goes your vagina ♪
141
00:06:38,724 --> 00:06:40,936
♪ Never will it be ♪
142
00:06:40,938 --> 00:06:44,406
♪ Its cute little self again ♪
143
00:06:44,408 --> 00:06:47,834
♪ But the good news is ♪
144
00:06:47,859 --> 00:06:50,962
♪ If you have a few more kids ♪
145
00:06:51,348 --> 00:06:55,450
♪ The rest will
basically plop right out ♪
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00:06:56,153 --> 00:06:57,419
Mm-mm. Mm-mm. Mm-mm.
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00:06:57,421 --> 00:07:02,564
♪ After hours and
hours of utter torture ♪
148
00:07:03,093 --> 00:07:06,027
♪ You may poop yourself
and/or throw up ♪
149
00:07:06,029 --> 00:07:07,629
♪ As you bear down ♪
150
00:07:07,631 --> 00:07:09,998
'Cause you're a goddess.
151
00:07:10,000 --> 00:07:12,267
♪ And though you've
never been this tired ♪
152
00:07:12,269 --> 00:07:15,437
♪ Wait, here comes
the ring of fire ♪
153
00:07:15,439 --> 00:07:19,016
♪ That's your vagina
bursting into flames ♪
154
00:07:19,041 --> 00:07:22,144
♪ As the head starts to crown ♪
155
00:07:22,146 --> 00:07:26,748
♪ Burn, burn, burn,
goes your vagina ♪
156
00:07:26,750 --> 00:07:28,016
Oh...
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00:07:28,018 --> 00:07:29,751
♪ And you'll curse
and scream until ♪
158
00:07:29,753 --> 00:07:32,254
♪ You hear a cry ♪
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00:07:32,256 --> 00:07:33,588
It's your baby!
160
00:07:33,816 --> 00:07:36,725
♪ And, oops, there it went-a ♪
161
00:07:37,136 --> 00:07:39,828
♪ That was the placenta ♪
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00:07:39,830 --> 00:07:44,399
♪ Which you must expel
or you will surely die ♪
163
00:07:45,383 --> 00:07:47,035
♪ When it's all over ♪
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00:07:47,037 --> 00:07:51,226
♪ They'll place the
baby on your breast ♪
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00:07:51,406 --> 00:07:54,176
♪ You may be happy for a moment ♪
166
00:07:54,178 --> 00:07:57,746
♪ But then for months
you'll be depressed ♪
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00:07:57,748 --> 00:08:00,859
♪ 'Cause you've wrecked
your life and body ♪
168
00:08:00,884 --> 00:08:03,985
♪ You'll think, "Was
it really worth ♪
169
00:08:04,054 --> 00:08:09,724
♪ "All that for the miracle ♪
170
00:08:09,726 --> 00:08:13,261
♪ Of birth?" ♪
171
00:08:13,263 --> 00:08:15,487
But of course it was!
172
00:08:18,854 --> 00:08:22,003
Am I right, Dr. Pratt?
Isn't it a beautiful...
173
00:08:29,666 --> 00:08:31,813
So, what was with you back
there in the exam room?
174
00:08:31,815 --> 00:08:35,183
Ugh, I'm sorry about that.
I just haven't been sleeping.
175
00:08:35,185 --> 00:08:37,252
What?
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00:08:37,254 --> 00:08:40,255
I keep having nightmares about Trent.
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00:08:40,257 --> 00:08:42,916
I don't know. He's still in my head.
178
00:08:43,049 --> 00:08:47,162
Yeah. I've been feeling
guilty about that a lot lately.
179
00:08:47,549 --> 00:08:49,297
Why are you feeling guilty?
180
00:08:49,299 --> 00:08:52,534
It was, it was my idea to find
a fake boyfriend on Facebook
181
00:08:52,536 --> 00:08:53,735
to make Josh jealous,
182
00:08:53,737 --> 00:08:55,437
and I feel terrible
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00:08:55,439 --> 00:08:57,806
because I brought this
monster into your life.
184
00:08:57,808 --> 00:08:59,074
Into our life, so...
185
00:08:59,076 --> 00:09:01,285
No. You have nothing
to feel guilty about.
186
00:09:01,310 --> 00:09:02,911
First of all, I was in on that with you,
187
00:09:02,936 --> 00:09:05,680
and then I let him stay
with me and cook for me
188
00:09:05,682 --> 00:09:08,383
and clean for me and, I
mean, I took his virginity.
189
00:09:10,020 --> 00:09:11,319
So, Trent is not your fault.
190
00:09:11,321 --> 00:09:13,755
Well, I mean, regardless,
it would make perfect sense
191
00:09:13,757 --> 00:09:15,323
you're having bad dreams about him.
192
00:09:15,325 --> 00:09:17,792
I mean, he tried to
blackmail you, and me.
193
00:09:18,139 --> 00:09:19,934
Yes, he tried to... you're right.
194
00:09:19,959 --> 00:09:21,530
He tried to blackmail both of us.
195
00:09:21,532 --> 00:09:23,398
He did. He tried to blackmail us.
196
00:09:23,400 --> 00:09:25,400
Well, listen, don't worry.
197
00:09:25,402 --> 00:09:26,968
He is gone.
198
00:09:26,970 --> 00:09:29,004
I still have a tracker on him
199
00:09:29,006 --> 00:09:31,039
and I check his Instagram every day.
200
00:09:31,041 --> 00:09:33,341
He... is in Iowa...
201
00:09:33,670 --> 00:09:36,244
with his mom.
202
00:09:36,246 --> 00:09:37,922
Yeah, you're right.
203
00:09:37,947 --> 00:09:39,381
- He's gone. He's gone.
- Yup.
204
00:09:39,383 --> 00:09:40,582
It's-it's in my head.
205
00:09:41,040 --> 00:09:42,584
Did you hear what I just said?
206
00:09:43,266 --> 00:09:46,788
- Yeah.
- In the, uh, in the Harding case,
207
00:09:46,790 --> 00:09:48,790
we should depose the CEO and CFO.
208
00:09:48,792 --> 00:09:51,016
Exactly. And if...
209
00:09:51,985 --> 00:09:54,696
You don't look great. Are you okay?
210
00:09:54,698 --> 00:09:57,999
Yeah. I, uh, I just
haven't been sleeping much.
211
00:09:58,001 --> 00:09:59,668
- Pretty tired.
- Ah.
212
00:10:00,927 --> 00:10:03,982
I've been meaning to tell you, um...
213
00:10:04,007 --> 00:10:08,610
I'm having a party Friday
night and you are not invited.
214
00:10:10,028 --> 00:10:11,310
Okay.
215
00:10:11,335 --> 00:10:13,979
Yeah. Mona and I are moving in together.
216
00:10:14,654 --> 00:10:16,567
Wow.
217
00:10:17,154 --> 00:10:19,575
Oh. Cool.
218
00:10:19,802 --> 00:10:23,825
We are, um, having a few
people over for a little soiree,
219
00:10:23,827 --> 00:10:25,058
and, you know, some of the more
220
00:10:25,083 --> 00:10:27,028
tolerable people from
the office are coming.
221
00:10:27,030 --> 00:10:28,730
I didn't want you to get blindsided
222
00:10:28,732 --> 00:10:30,097
if you'd heard about it.
223
00:10:30,534 --> 00:10:32,207
I see, uh...
224
00:10:32,569 --> 00:10:34,754
Congratulations. I'm happy for you.
225
00:10:35,480 --> 00:10:37,072
Well, that's big of you.
226
00:10:37,074 --> 00:10:38,607
I want you to be happy.
227
00:10:38,609 --> 00:10:40,775
I'm the one who broke
things off with you.
228
00:10:40,777 --> 00:10:41,843
Like, I'm not insane.
229
00:10:43,413 --> 00:10:45,447
The hell?
230
00:10:49,523 --> 00:10:52,779
I... I just... I saw...
231
00:10:55,382 --> 00:10:57,392
Is everything all right?
232
00:10:57,519 --> 00:10:59,219
Are you okay?
233
00:11:00,230 --> 00:11:02,398
So I think I'm losing my mind.
234
00:11:02,423 --> 00:11:04,265
Uh, I might be having
dissociative episodes.
235
00:11:04,267 --> 00:11:07,535
So what happened is I
hallucinated Trent this morning.
236
00:11:08,006 --> 00:11:10,071
Like, I saw him.
237
00:11:10,073 --> 00:11:12,140
I mean, I've been seeing
him in my dreams for days,
238
00:11:12,142 --> 00:11:13,274
which is one thing,
239
00:11:13,276 --> 00:11:15,377
but seeing apparitions
of him in real life?
240
00:11:15,379 --> 00:11:16,811
Well, maybe it's not mental illness.
241
00:11:16,813 --> 00:11:18,647
Maybe it's just your imagination.
242
00:11:18,649 --> 00:11:21,049
Our imagination can do crazy things.
243
00:11:21,217 --> 00:11:24,119
Sometimes, I imagine that I'm a pilgrim.
244
00:11:25,322 --> 00:11:26,688
- Okay. Thank you.
- Mm.
245
00:11:26,690 --> 00:11:28,523
Thank you for that,
Bert. I appreciate that.
246
00:11:28,525 --> 00:11:29,858
And thank you, everyone,
247
00:11:29,860 --> 00:11:32,761
for coming here on such short
notice in between sessions.
248
00:11:32,763 --> 00:11:34,996
I just couldn't wait
until Monday, you know?
249
00:11:34,998 --> 00:11:37,499
You offered to buy us all
crudo, so, yeah, I'm here.
250
00:11:37,501 --> 00:11:38,667
How have you been feeling lately?
251
00:11:38,669 --> 00:11:40,078
Have you scanned
252
00:11:40,103 --> 00:11:43,204
your emotional system, or whatever?
253
00:11:43,206 --> 00:11:45,740
Uh, okay. Uh, let me do a quick scan.
254
00:11:45,742 --> 00:11:47,242
Boop, boop, boop.
255
00:11:47,244 --> 00:11:48,579
Oh, God, I'm so guilty.
256
00:11:48,604 --> 00:11:50,545
I just feel guilt. It's just guilt.
257
00:11:50,547 --> 00:11:52,580
It's crushing, overwhelming
amounts of guilt,
258
00:11:52,582 --> 00:11:54,616
for all the things that
I've done to people lately.
259
00:11:54,923 --> 00:11:57,152
I mean, not even lately, all
the things I've done to people
260
00:11:57,154 --> 00:11:58,326
since I moved here.
261
00:11:58,356 --> 00:12:00,556
And there are things people
don't even know about.
262
00:12:00,824 --> 00:12:02,357
Like what?
263
00:12:02,359 --> 00:12:03,558
Eh, I don't really
want to talk about it.
264
00:12:03,560 --> 00:12:04,526
Does that really matter?
265
00:12:04,528 --> 00:12:06,528
- Kind of, yeah. Yes.
- Of course it does.
266
00:12:06,530 --> 00:12:09,364
Okay, point is, I've done some
not great things to people,
267
00:12:09,366 --> 00:12:13,234
and I think what's killing me
is I always get away with it.
268
00:12:13,514 --> 00:12:14,769
I don't know why.
269
00:12:15,076 --> 00:12:17,182
Is it because I'm
smarter than other people?
270
00:12:17,537 --> 00:12:19,040
Maybe I'm cuter?
271
00:12:19,042 --> 00:12:21,009
Maybe it's 'cause you manipulate people.
272
00:12:21,011 --> 00:12:22,110
Okay, well, stop talking, Rick,
273
00:12:22,112 --> 00:12:24,045
or I'm gonna give your hamachi to Lana.
274
00:12:25,048 --> 00:12:27,782
That proves your point. Yep. I do that.
275
00:12:27,784 --> 00:12:29,317
You know, if you're feeling guilty,
276
00:12:29,319 --> 00:12:31,886
maybe you could confess
the bad things you've done.
277
00:12:31,888 --> 00:12:32,954
Like recently,
278
00:12:32,956 --> 00:12:35,156
I apologized to all ten of my children
279
00:12:35,158 --> 00:12:37,659
because I haven't been
that present in their lives,
280
00:12:37,661 --> 00:12:39,694
and I feel a lot better.
281
00:12:40,509 --> 00:12:43,031
Oh, Bert, wow. Confess?
282
00:12:43,798 --> 00:12:46,534
Maybe that would make
the apparitions or ghosts
283
00:12:46,536 --> 00:12:50,032
or memory of Trent...
Whatever it is... go away.
284
00:12:50,274 --> 00:12:52,173
Oof, it's gonna be difficult,
285
00:12:52,175 --> 00:12:54,824
but okay. All right, I'm gonna do it.
286
00:12:54,849 --> 00:12:57,122
I'm gonna get it off my chest. Got it.
287
00:12:57,147 --> 00:12:59,314
So, who called this meeting again?
288
00:12:59,316 --> 00:13:01,683
I don't know. The subject
line says "The Purge,"
289
00:13:01,685 --> 00:13:04,986
so are we throwing up or
watching a horror movie or what?
290
00:13:04,988 --> 00:13:07,669
Oh, good, you got my Google Cal invite.
291
00:13:07,743 --> 00:13:10,010
Honey, what's this about?
292
00:13:10,035 --> 00:13:12,560
I will tell you. I'll
tell you everything.
293
00:13:12,562 --> 00:13:15,263
We're just waiting on one more person.
294
00:13:15,265 --> 00:13:16,564
Sorry I'm late.
295
00:13:16,566 --> 00:13:19,234
Someone asked me to change
the water cooler on the way in.
296
00:13:19,236 --> 00:13:20,602
Rebecca,
297
00:13:20,807 --> 00:13:22,304
what is this?
298
00:13:23,063 --> 00:13:25,970
I have some things to say, and...
299
00:13:26,496 --> 00:13:28,431
it's gonna be brutal.
300
00:13:39,306 --> 00:13:41,695
So, during the birth,
in the delivery room,
301
00:13:41,720 --> 00:13:43,366
Valencia will be doing the video.
302
00:13:43,391 --> 00:13:45,844
Hector, snacks, obviously.
303
00:13:45,869 --> 00:13:47,218
Beth, coffee.
304
00:13:47,243 --> 00:13:49,337
Paula, wisdom and ice chips.
305
00:13:49,362 --> 00:13:51,606
And I don't know what
Rebecca is gonna do,
306
00:13:51,608 --> 00:13:52,798
so she can be a floater.
307
00:13:52,829 --> 00:13:54,262
So that's everyone.
308
00:13:54,264 --> 00:13:56,886
Yeah. Okay, actually, no one is gonna be
309
00:13:56,911 --> 00:13:58,844
in the delivery room, Darryl, just you.
310
00:13:58,869 --> 00:14:00,936
Okay? We're gonna do this how I want.
311
00:14:00,938 --> 00:14:02,782
It might be your baby,
but it's my birth,
312
00:14:02,807 --> 00:14:04,206
and I'm terrified.
313
00:14:04,231 --> 00:14:06,173
I mean, after that
talk with Paula, like,
314
00:14:06,198 --> 00:14:07,977
I'm freaking freaked out.
315
00:14:08,438 --> 00:14:11,352
My downstairs is gonna
look like beef tartare.
316
00:14:11,377 --> 00:14:12,577
But everybody loves you,
317
00:14:12,602 --> 00:14:14,535
and they all want to be by your side.
318
00:14:14,560 --> 00:14:17,995
Why are you so obsessed with
making this birth a group hang?
319
00:14:18,020 --> 00:14:21,755
It is not a group hang; I'm
just having a few people over.
320
00:14:22,026 --> 00:14:24,773
- What?
- These people are my family,
321
00:14:24,798 --> 00:14:26,764
my support system, my rock.
322
00:14:26,789 --> 00:14:28,155
They love me.
323
00:14:28,571 --> 00:14:31,066
And they love that I
look like Tom Selleck.
324
00:14:31,068 --> 00:14:33,502
And they love making me
oatmeal in the morning.
325
00:14:33,504 --> 00:14:35,070
Oh.
326
00:14:35,072 --> 00:14:37,099
This is about Tom Selleck.
327
00:14:37,124 --> 00:14:39,318
No, I'm kidding. It's about WiJo.
328
00:14:39,343 --> 00:14:40,755
You miss him.
329
00:14:40,818 --> 00:14:42,451
I would've put that together ages ago,
330
00:14:42,453 --> 00:14:44,220
but I have such major baby brain.
331
00:14:44,222 --> 00:14:45,588
Did you know that brains shrink
332
00:14:45,590 --> 00:14:47,355
three to five percent during pregnancy?
333
00:14:47,380 --> 00:14:49,124
I can't remember who told me that.
334
00:14:49,126 --> 00:14:50,492
Anyway, so,
335
00:14:50,494 --> 00:14:52,695
do you, like, regret
breaking up with WiJo?
336
00:14:52,697 --> 00:14:55,097
Do you want to be with him again?
337
00:14:55,099 --> 00:14:57,091
I don't know.
338
00:14:57,501 --> 00:14:59,552
I just miss my friend.
339
00:14:59,971 --> 00:15:01,837
Oh, Darryl, that's sweet.
340
00:15:01,839 --> 00:15:04,907
And I would love
to talk with you more about this,
341
00:15:04,909 --> 00:15:07,977
but I am having some wicked
Braxton Hicks right now.
342
00:15:07,979 --> 00:15:09,011
Wait, are you okay?
343
00:15:09,013 --> 00:15:10,679
Ooh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
344
00:15:10,681 --> 00:15:12,882
The Braxton Hicks are just the
practice contractions, remember?
345
00:15:12,884 --> 00:15:14,049
Oh.
346
00:15:14,051 --> 00:15:16,018
Oh, ow.
347
00:15:16,306 --> 00:15:18,406
Tight, tight, tight, tight, tight.
348
00:15:18,431 --> 00:15:20,656
Bowling ball, bowling ball,
bowling ball, bowling ball.
349
00:15:20,658 --> 00:15:21,690
Oh, does it hurt?
350
00:15:21,692 --> 00:15:23,225
Maybe it's not a practice contraction.
351
00:15:23,227 --> 00:15:24,693
Maybe this is a real one.
352
00:15:24,695 --> 00:15:26,262
No, I don't think so.
353
00:15:26,264 --> 00:15:29,098
I mean, I did see a
bloody clump of mucus fall
354
00:15:29,100 --> 00:15:31,400
into the toilet bowl earlier, but...
355
00:15:31,402 --> 00:15:34,136
Wow. The miracle of birth.
356
00:15:34,138 --> 00:15:35,901
Mm-hmm.
357
00:15:36,307 --> 00:15:37,950
Ha... man.
358
00:15:38,338 --> 00:15:40,075
Is it another Toni Braxton?
359
00:15:40,077 --> 00:15:41,810
Oh, that unbreaks my heart.
360
00:15:42,197 --> 00:15:45,047
Um, no. I'll-I'll let you
know when they get painful.
361
00:15:46,236 --> 00:15:47,470
Oh, it's right now.
362
00:15:47,495 --> 00:15:49,001
- Oh!
- Ah, it's right now.
363
00:15:49,026 --> 00:15:51,399
- Oh!
- Oh... So get the car.
364
00:15:51,424 --> 00:15:53,095
Get the car right now. It's
right now. Okay, thank you.
365
00:15:53,120 --> 00:15:55,431
Oh... Toni Braxton.
366
00:15:56,534 --> 00:15:59,468
Oh... Brandy and Monica.
367
00:16:00,784 --> 00:16:02,751
Aaliyah?
368
00:16:02,776 --> 00:16:04,242
Anybody?
369
00:16:04,260 --> 00:16:05,459
All right.
370
00:16:05,461 --> 00:16:07,061
I knew this was gonna be really hard,
371
00:16:07,063 --> 00:16:08,429
so I made some lists.
372
00:16:08,791 --> 00:16:10,500
So, I have one for each of you.
373
00:16:10,525 --> 00:16:13,775
Uh, and basically this is
a-a list of all of the things
374
00:16:13,800 --> 00:16:14,899
that I have done,
375
00:16:14,924 --> 00:16:16,857
that I should have told
you all about, um...
376
00:16:16,882 --> 00:16:18,215
It's bad.
377
00:16:18,240 --> 00:16:20,040
It's-it's... just-just
to warn you, it's bad.
378
00:16:20,065 --> 00:16:22,065
It's, like, really...
it's, like, really bad.
379
00:16:22,090 --> 00:16:26,125
It's bad. So just, uh... look.
380
00:16:26,162 --> 00:16:28,329
You almost had my Lolo killed?
381
00:16:28,354 --> 00:16:29,790
What's a "Lolo"?
382
00:16:29,815 --> 00:16:31,281
Oh. "Lolo" means grandpa.
383
00:16:31,584 --> 00:16:33,759
You didn't notice I was
going through an abortion?
384
00:16:33,784 --> 00:16:36,853
Oh, oh. I'm s... I'm s... God.
I'm so sorry. Clerical error.
385
00:16:36,878 --> 00:16:39,455
Just, you should have this one,
and you should have that one.
386
00:16:39,480 --> 00:16:40,533
Wow, off to a great start.
387
00:16:40,558 --> 00:16:42,800
Well, mine's obviously
for me, because it says
388
00:16:42,825 --> 00:16:45,625
you put out a hit on my girlfriend Mona?
389
00:16:45,627 --> 00:16:46,526
Why does it say
390
00:16:46,528 --> 00:16:48,562
"having sex with Greg's dad"?
391
00:16:48,564 --> 00:16:49,963
Ugh.
392
00:16:49,965 --> 00:16:51,634
You had sex with Greg's dad. Right.
393
00:16:51,659 --> 00:16:53,392
No you didn't. No.
394
00:16:53,702 --> 00:16:54,790
No way.
395
00:16:54,815 --> 00:16:56,825
- That's on mine, too.
- Mine, too.
396
00:16:56,850 --> 00:16:58,438
Yeah, um, so I just...
397
00:16:58,463 --> 00:17:00,430
I didn't know what list to put that on.
398
00:17:00,455 --> 00:17:02,054
I just thought everyone should know.
399
00:17:07,506 --> 00:17:09,056
You lied...
400
00:17:09,967 --> 00:17:13,969
about Trent blackmailing me?
401
00:17:15,112 --> 00:17:17,112
You sent me poop?
402
00:17:17,693 --> 00:17:19,665
- Your poop?
- Shut up, Josh.
403
00:17:19,939 --> 00:17:21,399
So-so...
404
00:17:23,077 --> 00:17:25,911
So Trent didn't blackmail me.
405
00:17:26,553 --> 00:17:28,125
And you...
406
00:17:28,734 --> 00:17:31,954
manipulated me and lied to me
407
00:17:32,207 --> 00:17:34,374
to get me to commit federal crimes,
408
00:17:34,376 --> 00:17:35,587
even though I didn't want to?
409
00:17:35,612 --> 00:17:36,485
Sorry, back up.
410
00:17:36,510 --> 00:17:39,311
Someone tried to kill my Lolo?
411
00:17:39,336 --> 00:17:41,056
Ah, that was more me.
412
00:17:41,316 --> 00:17:43,583
I like to think I wasn't
really gonna go through with it,
413
00:17:43,585 --> 00:17:45,306
but whatever; even if I
did, he had a nice long life.
414
00:17:45,331 --> 00:17:46,782
Mona, on the other hand...
415
00:17:46,807 --> 00:17:49,041
This isn't right. This is a mistake.
416
00:17:50,163 --> 00:17:52,149
You promised me so many times
417
00:17:52,174 --> 00:17:54,174
that you wouldn't lie to me anymore.
418
00:17:54,199 --> 00:17:55,884
I trusted you.
419
00:17:55,970 --> 00:17:59,813
I didn't even check on what
you told me about Trent,
420
00:17:59,838 --> 00:18:01,524
because I just believed you.
421
00:18:01,549 --> 00:18:03,182
I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.
422
00:18:03,207 --> 00:18:05,440
I told you. I told you, it's bad.
423
00:18:05,465 --> 00:18:07,071
It's really, really bad.
424
00:18:07,109 --> 00:18:08,475
And that's why I just,
425
00:18:08,477 --> 00:18:09,776
I wanted to get it out in the open,
426
00:18:09,778 --> 00:18:11,399
and tell you... no.
427
00:18:11,424 --> 00:18:13,384
Paula. Paula.
428
00:18:13,579 --> 00:18:15,679
No, no, no, Paula. Oh, Paula.
429
00:18:15,862 --> 00:18:18,863
Rebecca tried to have
my father deported?
430
00:18:20,307 --> 00:18:22,977
Again, that was me.
431
00:18:23,002 --> 00:18:25,563
But to be fair, I was promised sex.
432
00:18:27,321 --> 00:18:29,255
Oh, God.
433
00:18:31,115 --> 00:18:33,008
Okay, I deserve that.
434
00:18:33,382 --> 00:18:35,182
I deserve that.
435
00:18:37,039 --> 00:18:38,572
Hey, hey.
436
00:18:38,574 --> 00:18:40,540
I know, I know, it's bad.
437
00:18:40,542 --> 00:18:43,443
- And I am so sorry if I hurt you.
- You're sorry "if"?
438
00:18:43,445 --> 00:18:45,545
I was going through a very tough time.
439
00:18:45,547 --> 00:18:48,548
- I barely remember half those...
- It was last week.
440
00:18:48,550 --> 00:18:49,916
That is true,
441
00:18:49,918 --> 00:18:52,552
but it's not representative
of the person that I really am.
442
00:18:52,554 --> 00:18:54,588
But it obviously is. I mean, you did it.
443
00:18:54,590 --> 00:18:57,259
I just, I just... I can't believe this.
444
00:18:57,355 --> 00:18:59,422
You have let me down so many times.
445
00:18:59,628 --> 00:19:01,837
And I am such a fool.
446
00:19:02,230 --> 00:19:03,891
I am a sucker.
447
00:19:04,097 --> 00:19:06,664
You are never going to be any different.
448
00:19:08,775 --> 00:19:11,446
Oh, forget it! I am taking the stairs.
449
00:19:16,378 --> 00:19:17,977
Oh, God!
450
00:19:19,368 --> 00:19:23,641
Leave me alone, you turtlenecked
manifestation of my guilt.
451
00:19:23,666 --> 00:19:25,429
I did it. I confessed everything.
452
00:19:25,454 --> 00:19:26,798
So you have no reason
to be here anymore.
453
00:19:26,823 --> 00:19:27,765
Leave me alone.
454
00:19:27,790 --> 00:19:29,423
Never, my love.
455
00:19:29,791 --> 00:19:31,454
Okay, seriously?
456
00:19:31,479 --> 00:19:32,766
Go away.
457
00:19:33,529 --> 00:19:35,463
Go away, ghost.
458
00:19:35,488 --> 00:19:37,654
Boo!
459
00:19:39,901 --> 00:19:41,627
Oh, God, you're real.
460
00:19:45,018 --> 00:19:46,471
Trent, what are you doing here?
461
00:19:46,496 --> 00:19:49,964
You said you were leaving.
God, I thought you were in Iowa.
462
00:19:49,989 --> 00:19:51,054
Io-was.
463
00:19:51,079 --> 00:19:53,276
But I missed you,
and now I'm-a-back.
464
00:19:53,410 --> 00:19:55,143
I have unfinished business here.
465
00:19:55,168 --> 00:19:57,596
What? What could it be?
Blackmailing me again?
466
00:19:57,621 --> 00:19:59,455
You can't. I told everyone everything.
467
00:20:00,249 --> 00:20:04,718
God. Trent, I'm never gonna
be your girlfriend, ever.
468
00:20:05,127 --> 00:20:07,057
So just get that through your head.
469
00:20:07,146 --> 00:20:09,079
Oh, we're way past that.
470
00:20:09,260 --> 00:20:11,294
I know that's never gonna happen.
471
00:20:11,319 --> 00:20:14,854
Now I just want you to feel as
badly as you've made me feel.
472
00:20:14,879 --> 00:20:16,678
So be careful, Rebecca.
473
00:20:16,799 --> 00:20:20,721
Because I'm one scary, scary, sexy man.
474
00:20:22,057 --> 00:20:23,843
Well, what are you gonna do?
475
00:20:23,845 --> 00:20:26,680
Oh. It's no fun if I tell you.
476
00:20:42,720 --> 00:20:45,961
_
477
00:20:59,551 --> 00:21:01,019
Hi, Paula. It's Rebecca.
478
00:21:01,044 --> 00:21:02,527
I know we're in a big fight right now,
479
00:21:02,552 --> 00:21:04,394
but you got to call me
back; it's an emergency.
480
00:21:05,271 --> 00:21:07,972
I saw Trent. I saw him.
481
00:21:08,020 --> 00:21:11,054
He was here at the office,
and I'm really, really scared.
482
00:21:11,056 --> 00:21:12,756
And I'm trying to use
your tracking device,
483
00:21:12,758 --> 00:21:14,224
but I don't know how it works.
484
00:21:14,226 --> 00:21:16,560
So please just give
me a call back, okay?
485
00:21:16,562 --> 00:21:19,363
Call me.
486
00:21:19,365 --> 00:21:20,631
Hi, Paula. It's Rebecca.
487
00:21:20,633 --> 00:21:22,266
I know we're in a big fight right now,
488
00:21:22,268 --> 00:21:25,302
but you got to call me
back; it's an emergency.
489
00:21:25,304 --> 00:21:27,938
I saw Trent. I saw him.
490
00:21:27,940 --> 00:21:30,741
He was here at the office,
and I'm really, really scared.
491
00:21:30,743 --> 00:21:32,676
And I'm trying to use
your tracking device,
492
00:21:32,678 --> 00:21:34,278
but I don't know how it works.
493
00:21:34,280 --> 00:21:37,014
So please just give me a
call back, okay? Call me.
494
00:21:37,218 --> 00:21:40,753
What's wrong with Rebecca?
She sounds really scared.
495
00:21:42,742 --> 00:21:44,411
You gonna call her back?
496
00:21:46,005 --> 00:21:47,607
No, I'm done.
497
00:21:51,764 --> 00:21:53,463
So, what is everybody wearing
498
00:21:53,465 --> 00:21:55,632
to Nathaniel's soiree tonight?
499
00:21:55,634 --> 00:21:56,867
I've got my cocktail suspenders,
500
00:21:56,869 --> 00:21:59,069
I got my lobster pot
suspenders, I've got...
501
00:21:59,071 --> 00:22:00,804
Tim, Tim, Tim, Tim, Tim.
502
00:22:00,806 --> 00:22:02,339
Rebecca wasn't invited.
503
00:22:02,341 --> 00:22:05,242
Yeah, have you not been reading
the "shhhhh" group text chain?
504
00:22:05,244 --> 00:22:07,277
I wasn't invited to the
party, okay, and I'm fine.
505
00:22:07,279 --> 00:22:09,880
Listen, does anybody here know
anything about spy trackers?
506
00:22:10,457 --> 00:22:11,848
I'm sorry, I-I don't...
507
00:22:11,850 --> 00:22:15,118
- Spy... detector?
- No. Sorry.
508
00:22:15,120 --> 00:22:17,054
That was really awkward turtle.
509
00:22:17,056 --> 00:22:18,722
What's "awkward turtle"?
510
00:22:21,309 --> 00:22:23,160
I don't know what you
need a spy thing for,
511
00:22:23,162 --> 00:22:25,929
but, hey, leave our
Nathaniel alone, okay?
512
00:22:25,931 --> 00:22:29,009
He's happy. You're dangerous.
513
00:22:29,500 --> 00:22:31,068
You're a loose cannon, Bunch,
514
00:22:31,070 --> 00:22:32,869
and you hurt everyone around you.
515
00:22:32,871 --> 00:22:34,171
Mona?
516
00:22:36,030 --> 00:22:38,931
Mona? Mona?
517
00:22:39,144 --> 00:22:40,510
Mona!
518
00:22:40,512 --> 00:22:42,779
Hey. I was in the shower.
519
00:22:42,781 --> 00:22:44,915
God, I texted you. I even called.
520
00:22:44,917 --> 00:22:46,416
A voice call? What's wrong?
521
00:22:46,620 --> 00:22:50,988
I just... I just...
I-I was worried about you today
522
00:22:50,990 --> 00:22:53,799
for-for no reason,
regarding nothing and no one.
523
00:22:54,455 --> 00:22:57,394
Oh, Nat, that's weird and cute.
524
00:22:57,396 --> 00:22:59,196
I just needed to see
you, and you're fine.
525
00:22:59,198 --> 00:23:00,430
You were in the shower.
526
00:23:00,432 --> 00:23:01,932
Everything's the way
it's supposed to be.
527
00:23:01,934 --> 00:23:03,834
All right, the party
starts in a couple of hours,
528
00:23:03,836 --> 00:23:05,202
so I have to blow out my hair,
529
00:23:05,204 --> 00:23:07,164
otherwise my secret will be out.
530
00:23:07,640 --> 00:23:08,805
I have curly hair.
531
00:23:08,807 --> 00:23:11,118
Come here.
532
00:23:11,594 --> 00:23:13,610
Mm.
533
00:23:29,043 --> 00:23:31,028
So, it looks like you're
definitely in labor.
534
00:23:31,030 --> 00:23:32,629
Oh, really? Do you think?
535
00:23:32,631 --> 00:23:35,065
No, I know, 'cause I'm a doctor.
536
00:23:35,067 --> 00:23:36,333
Okay.
537
00:23:36,335 --> 00:23:37,868
Now, according to your birth plan,
538
00:23:37,870 --> 00:23:40,801
you want to labor naturally
for as long as possible.
539
00:23:40,826 --> 00:23:43,473
Uh, what does that mean?
540
00:23:43,475 --> 00:23:44,908
It means no pain medication.
541
00:23:44,910 --> 00:23:47,244
Oh, no. Wrong. That's wrong.
542
00:23:47,246 --> 00:23:49,146
Wait, where did you get this, anyways?
543
00:23:49,148 --> 00:23:52,349
What man filled this
out? Because I did not.
544
00:23:52,351 --> 00:23:54,885
Um, I did that for you. I
thought I was helping out.
545
00:23:54,887 --> 00:23:57,287
And I checked "no
early pain intervention"
546
00:23:57,289 --> 00:24:00,257
because I read that
epidurals can slow down labor.
547
00:24:00,259 --> 00:24:02,592
No, it's true. You and I,
548
00:24:02,594 --> 00:24:05,157
we are gonna breathe through
this together, Womb Goddess.
549
00:24:05,964 --> 00:24:08,432
Okay, Doc, look at me. Eyes here.
550
00:24:08,434 --> 00:24:11,234
I want drugs... all of the drugs.
551
00:24:11,236 --> 00:24:13,986
Give them to me now!
552
00:24:14,598 --> 00:24:15,931
Yeah.
553
00:24:16,581 --> 00:24:18,181
Thanks.
554
00:24:43,787 --> 00:24:45,646
I'm early.
555
00:24:45,671 --> 00:24:48,505
And I brought ice, because
there is never enough ice.
556
00:24:48,530 --> 00:24:49,537
Wha...
557
00:24:49,562 --> 00:24:51,495
Also, don't worry, I talked to Rebecca,
558
00:24:51,520 --> 00:24:54,289
and she is never gonna bother you again.
559
00:24:54,291 --> 00:24:56,591
I gave her a stern talking-to.
560
00:24:56,593 --> 00:24:58,526
And what happened? Was she upset?
561
00:24:58,528 --> 00:25:00,261
Why would you care if she's upset?
562
00:25:00,482 --> 00:25:03,498
After everything she did for
you that you didn't ask for?
563
00:25:03,523 --> 00:25:05,623
Whew, that stupid bitch.
564
00:25:05,670 --> 00:25:06,865
You're right, you're right.
565
00:25:06,890 --> 00:25:09,391
I'm not even thinking
about Rebecca. I don't care.
566
00:25:10,037 --> 00:25:11,741
Now, get your gas
station ice out of here.
567
00:25:11,743 --> 00:25:13,008
You're embarrassing yourself.
568
00:25:13,010 --> 00:25:14,543
Go on.
569
00:25:19,443 --> 00:25:21,317
Nurse? Nurse?
570
00:25:22,232 --> 00:25:24,059
- Can I help you?
- Yeah.
571
00:25:24,084 --> 00:25:27,919
I was wondering, who played
Uncle Jesse on Full House?
572
00:25:28,201 --> 00:25:29,988
I think it was John Stamos.
573
00:25:29,990 --> 00:25:32,023
John Stamos. Oh, my God.
574
00:25:32,025 --> 00:25:34,092
My brain has shrunk way more than 5%.
575
00:25:34,094 --> 00:25:36,327
I used to know everything
about Full House.
576
00:25:36,329 --> 00:25:37,395
Is that all?
577
00:25:37,397 --> 00:25:38,663
Yeah. Thanks.
578
00:25:40,725 --> 00:25:43,234
John Stamos. I'm so sorry.
579
00:25:44,280 --> 00:25:46,004
I saw the nurse coming in.
580
00:25:46,006 --> 00:25:47,739
What's happening? Are you okay?
581
00:25:47,741 --> 00:25:50,542
No. I forgot who John Stamos was.
582
00:25:51,015 --> 00:25:52,677
I can't believe how calm you are.
583
00:25:52,679 --> 00:25:53,811
On TV shows,
584
00:25:53,813 --> 00:25:55,847
pregnant women, they're always crying
585
00:25:55,849 --> 00:25:58,616
and screaming and punching
their husband in the face.
586
00:25:58,618 --> 00:26:00,318
Yeah, well, those shows
were written by men.
587
00:26:00,320 --> 00:26:02,787
I got an epidural, remember?
I don't feel a thing.
588
00:26:02,789 --> 00:26:03,988
Paula was right, actually.
589
00:26:03,990 --> 00:26:06,257
Birth is beautiful when
you get pain relief,
590
00:26:06,259 --> 00:26:07,926
'cause then you just
do crossword puzzles
591
00:26:07,928 --> 00:26:09,827
and binge watch Top of the Lake.
592
00:26:11,031 --> 00:26:12,764
You don't look like
you're having fun, though.
593
00:26:12,766 --> 00:26:14,124
No, I'm fine.
594
00:26:14,897 --> 00:26:18,169
It's White Josh, huh? You're
still missing that guy.
595
00:26:18,960 --> 00:26:21,406
Yeah, kind of. But I'm okay.
596
00:26:21,408 --> 00:26:23,207
Okay, cool.
597
00:26:51,211 --> 00:26:54,022
_
598
00:26:54,733 --> 00:26:56,733
_
599
00:26:56,758 --> 00:26:58,758
_
600
00:27:02,389 --> 00:27:04,389
_
601
00:27:04,413 --> 00:27:06,051
_
602
00:27:06,052 --> 00:27:08,586
Adios to Prince Charming.
603
00:27:08,588 --> 00:27:11,327
If I can't have you, no one will.
604
00:27:12,058 --> 00:27:13,825
I saw your face when Nathaniel said
605
00:27:13,827 --> 00:27:17,729
he was moving in with
Mona; I know how you feel.
606
00:27:17,731 --> 00:27:20,298
I lost someone I loved. You.
607
00:27:20,300 --> 00:27:22,000
Now you will feel the same.
608
00:27:22,002 --> 00:27:25,976
Nathaniel Plimpton
III must be destroyed.
609
00:27:26,922 --> 00:27:28,883
Motive.
610
00:27:28,908 --> 00:27:32,310
Oh, my God! Oh, my God, Nathaniel.
611
00:27:34,617 --> 00:27:36,614
The roses have really
come in well this year.
612
00:27:36,616 --> 00:27:38,650
I've actually never noticed
how much of a green thumb...
613
00:27:38,652 --> 00:27:40,184
Sir, there's a problem with the bill.
614
00:27:40,186 --> 00:27:41,969
May I speak with you for a second?
615
00:27:41,994 --> 00:27:44,027
Sure. Excuse me.
616
00:27:46,791 --> 00:27:49,058
♪ ♪
617
00:27:52,966 --> 00:27:54,932
And just right this way.
618
00:27:54,934 --> 00:27:56,434
I-I don't understand.
619
00:27:56,436 --> 00:27:58,136
I thought everything was taken care of.
620
00:27:58,138 --> 00:28:01,172
Oh, there's just a
couple of little extras.
621
00:28:01,174 --> 00:28:02,707
Here. You can see here.
622
00:28:02,709 --> 00:28:04,876
I just need your approval
on these little extras.
623
00:28:04,878 --> 00:28:08,713
All right? So that's
mustard, mayonnaise, ketchup.
624
00:28:09,319 --> 00:28:11,215
Condiments are extra?
625
00:28:11,593 --> 00:28:13,518
Okay, do you want to be
the one to go out there
626
00:28:13,520 --> 00:28:15,053
and tell them there's not any ketchup?
627
00:28:15,055 --> 00:28:16,521
I don't want to be that guy.
628
00:28:16,523 --> 00:28:18,790
So just initial all the condiments.
629
00:28:21,294 --> 00:28:23,628
Where are you, Rebecca?
630
00:28:23,630 --> 00:28:25,324
I know you're coming.
631
00:28:26,761 --> 00:28:28,399
I need you to see this.
632
00:28:28,401 --> 00:28:29,370
What?
633
00:28:29,395 --> 00:28:31,495
What? Initial all the condiments.
634
00:28:42,389 --> 00:28:44,482
Where is he? Where is he? Where is he?
635
00:28:44,484 --> 00:28:46,017
Where is he?
636
00:28:50,018 --> 00:28:51,517
Where's Nathaniel?
637
00:28:51,542 --> 00:28:53,825
Rebecca, I told you to leave him alone!
638
00:28:53,827 --> 00:28:55,359
Shut up, George! I
need to find Nathaniel.
639
00:28:55,361 --> 00:28:57,762
It's so weird that you showed
up tonight, right, Rebecca?
640
00:28:57,764 --> 00:28:59,063
Awkward turtle.
641
00:28:59,999 --> 00:29:02,734
- I think he went over there.
- Okay.
642
00:29:06,439 --> 00:29:08,439
No.
643
00:29:08,441 --> 00:29:09,974
They say love makes you crazy.
644
00:29:09,976 --> 00:29:11,876
No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Don't. Stop.
645
00:29:11,878 --> 00:29:14,545
- Rebecca, I have to pay the bill.
- No!
646
00:29:15,949 --> 00:29:17,248
No!
647
00:29:28,221 --> 00:29:30,021
Man, I killed that.
648
00:29:34,109 --> 00:29:35,775
Hello.
649
00:29:45,803 --> 00:29:48,703
Hey, hey! He was going
to kill Nathaniel.
650
00:29:48,705 --> 00:29:50,172
Okay? He had a knife.
651
00:29:50,174 --> 00:29:51,810
He's the turkey carver.
He had a carving knife.
652
00:29:51,835 --> 00:29:54,553
No, no, no, he wasn't.
He was my ex-boyfriend,
653
00:29:54,578 --> 00:29:56,878
and he was dangerous,
and he's been stalking me.
654
00:29:56,880 --> 00:29:58,880
He was stalking you by going to a party
655
00:29:58,882 --> 00:30:00,148
you were not invited to?
656
00:30:00,150 --> 00:30:01,450
And so you killed him?
657
00:30:02,404 --> 00:30:04,820
Oh, my God, I killed him? Is he dead?
658
00:30:04,822 --> 00:30:07,422
Well, the cute EMT, whose name is Rufus,
659
00:30:07,424 --> 00:30:09,891
which is so weird because I
literally love that baby name,
660
00:30:09,893 --> 00:30:12,513
- Oh!
- he said he fell in a swimming pool...
661
00:30:12,538 --> 00:30:14,696
Just missed the diving board.
662
00:30:14,698 --> 00:30:16,031
Oh, thank God.
663
00:30:16,033 --> 00:30:17,999
'Cause I really, I really
didn't mean to kill him.
664
00:30:18,001 --> 00:30:20,302
Okay, Rebecca, stop. Don't say anything.
665
00:30:20,304 --> 00:30:22,137
Anything you say can be admissible.
666
00:30:22,139 --> 00:30:25,023
Call Paula. Someone call Paula.
667
00:30:25,048 --> 00:30:27,409
But she's not a lawyer. I'm a lawyer!
668
00:30:29,980 --> 00:30:32,250
Call Paula.
669
00:30:35,185 --> 00:30:36,718
She's in big trouble.
670
00:30:36,720 --> 00:30:38,119
Huge.
671
00:30:38,121 --> 00:30:39,671
Hundo P.
672
00:30:45,691 --> 00:30:47,123
Oh.
673
00:30:49,533 --> 00:30:50,932
What are you doing here?
674
00:30:50,934 --> 00:30:52,901
Heather texted me. She asked me to come.
675
00:30:52,903 --> 00:30:54,766
- She did?
- Yeah.
676
00:30:54,791 --> 00:30:57,339
Why? I thought you hated babies.
677
00:30:57,341 --> 00:30:59,741
People got to stop saying that.
678
00:30:59,743 --> 00:31:01,243
She, uh...
679
00:31:01,245 --> 00:31:03,445
She said you wanted to see me.
680
00:31:03,447 --> 00:31:06,181
She also wanted to know who
starred in School of Rock,
681
00:31:06,183 --> 00:31:07,649
"blank Black""
682
00:31:07,651 --> 00:31:09,499
I did want to see you.
683
00:31:10,420 --> 00:31:12,120
I wanted to see my friend.
684
00:31:12,489 --> 00:31:15,423
We're, uh, we're friends?
685
00:31:15,819 --> 00:31:17,259
I thought you didn't want to be.
686
00:31:17,261 --> 00:31:18,393
I thought you didn't want to be.
687
00:31:18,395 --> 00:31:20,569
Okay.
688
00:31:21,711 --> 00:31:23,077
I missed you.
689
00:31:23,538 --> 00:31:24,866
Me, too.
690
00:31:24,868 --> 00:31:27,269
I mean, I didn't miss
myself, I missed you.
691
00:31:27,271 --> 00:31:28,303
Yeah, right. Right, right, right.
692
00:31:28,305 --> 00:31:29,657
I got it.
693
00:31:31,475 --> 00:31:35,143
Can I, uh... Can I hold her?
694
00:31:35,332 --> 00:31:37,196
- You want to?
- Yeah.
695
00:31:37,221 --> 00:31:38,774
Okay.
696
00:31:39,678 --> 00:31:41,878
- Now, just support her head.
- All right.
697
00:31:41,903 --> 00:31:44,203
Aw.
698
00:31:44,228 --> 00:31:45,520
Oh, God, okay.
699
00:31:45,522 --> 00:31:47,896
Okay. I named her Hebecca.
700
00:31:48,874 --> 00:31:50,974
It's a combination of
Heather and Rebecca.
701
00:31:52,867 --> 00:31:54,973
Oh. Mm-hmm.
702
00:31:54,998 --> 00:31:56,398
- Yeah?
- Okay.
703
00:31:56,400 --> 00:31:58,500
Well, they said I had 24
hours if I wanted to change it.
704
00:31:58,502 --> 00:31:59,768
Oh, thank God.
705
00:32:01,605 --> 00:32:03,071
- It is a bad name.
- Really?
706
00:32:03,073 --> 00:32:04,639
Objectively just very bad.
707
00:32:06,310 --> 00:32:07,372
She's perfect.
708
00:32:08,912 --> 00:32:10,445
You did good.
709
00:32:10,447 --> 00:32:11,645
Yeah.
710
00:32:14,276 --> 00:32:15,849
I think we all did.
711
00:32:17,364 --> 00:32:18,797
Hello there.
712
00:32:26,363 --> 00:32:27,662
Is he gonna pull through?
713
00:32:27,664 --> 00:32:30,264
Yeah. Broke every bone
in his body, though.
714
00:32:30,289 --> 00:32:32,224
When you hit a pool from that height,
715
00:32:32,249 --> 00:32:33,648
it's like getting hit by a bus.
716
00:32:33,650 --> 00:32:36,117
He's gonna be in a full-body
cast for quite some time.
717
00:32:36,119 --> 00:32:37,452
Oh, my God.
718
00:32:37,454 --> 00:32:39,608
So, um...
719
00:32:39,633 --> 00:32:42,366
they're gonna charge you with
attempted second-degree murder.
720
00:32:42,391 --> 00:32:45,404
What?! No! No. Hey,
I was saving your life.
721
00:32:45,429 --> 00:32:47,483
Trent has been stalking
me and blackmailing me
722
00:32:47,508 --> 00:32:49,007
practically since the second we met,
723
00:32:49,032 --> 00:32:50,123
and he was trying to hurt you.
724
00:32:50,147 --> 00:32:52,241
- I know. I believe you.
- You believe me?!
725
00:32:52,266 --> 00:32:54,666
Yes, I do, but I don't
know if anyone else will.
726
00:32:54,691 --> 00:32:56,361
To the cops and a jury,
727
00:32:56,386 --> 00:32:58,553
it looks like you crashed
your ex-boyfriend's party,
728
00:32:58,555 --> 00:33:01,222
and then pushed another
ex-boyfriend off of the roof,
729
00:33:01,224 --> 00:33:03,525
who was working there
completely legally as a waiter.
730
00:33:03,527 --> 00:33:05,460
No, uh-uh-uh, but
I told the cops
731
00:33:05,462 --> 00:33:07,062
that he sent me those Instagram stories.
732
00:33:07,064 --> 00:33:09,097
I had to. Yes, but they
already disappeared.
733
00:33:09,099 --> 00:33:10,758
We couldn't find anything.
734
00:33:19,091 --> 00:33:21,289
I'm going to prison.
735
00:33:22,758 --> 00:33:24,512
For a long time.
736
00:33:24,514 --> 00:33:26,881
Maybe not. I have a plan.
737
00:33:26,883 --> 00:33:28,305
You have a plan?
738
00:33:29,553 --> 00:33:31,319
Wait, are you representing me?
739
00:33:31,876 --> 00:33:34,623
After what I almost did to Mona? Why?
740
00:33:34,625 --> 00:33:37,484
I don't know, honestly. I
can't explain why I'm here.
741
00:33:37,509 --> 00:33:39,094
I can't explain why
I'm going to help you.
742
00:33:39,096 --> 00:33:41,262
I can't explain why I
just broke up with Mona.
743
00:33:42,259 --> 00:33:43,498
What?
744
00:33:43,500 --> 00:33:45,978
Yeah. I don't love her.
745
00:33:46,688 --> 00:33:48,136
I love someone else.
746
00:33:48,138 --> 00:33:50,163
Oh, God, there's another girl?
747
00:33:52,171 --> 00:33:53,508
Me, you're talking about me.
748
00:33:53,510 --> 00:33:54,809
Yeah.
749
00:33:54,811 --> 00:33:56,778
And I think you love me, too.
750
00:33:58,615 --> 00:34:00,482
Nathaniel, of course I do.
751
00:34:00,484 --> 00:34:02,817
Okay. I'm gonna get you out of here,
752
00:34:02,819 --> 00:34:04,219
and we're gonna be together, all right?
753
00:34:04,221 --> 00:34:06,588
Okay. There's just one
thing you have to do.
754
00:34:06,590 --> 00:34:07,555
The next hearing
755
00:34:07,557 --> 00:34:09,057
is about entering your plea.
756
00:34:09,059 --> 00:34:10,992
And I want you to plead not guilty...
757
00:34:10,994 --> 00:34:12,060
Okay, not guilty.
758
00:34:12,062 --> 00:34:13,559
... by reason of insanity.
759
00:34:15,639 --> 00:34:18,309
- Plead insanity?
- Mm.
760
00:34:23,692 --> 00:34:25,503
You want me to plead insanity?
761
00:34:25,528 --> 00:34:26,894
Yes, think about it. It'll work.
762
00:34:26,896 --> 00:34:28,562
To a judge, it'll make absolute sense.
763
00:34:28,564 --> 00:34:30,331
You have a history
of mental instability,
764
00:34:30,333 --> 00:34:33,801
you've been in an institution
before, you have BPD.
765
00:34:33,803 --> 00:34:35,035
None of this is your fault.
766
00:34:35,037 --> 00:34:36,770
No... No, but I put you in danger.
767
00:34:36,772 --> 00:34:39,106
I brought Trent into your
life. He tried to hurt you.
768
00:34:39,108 --> 00:34:40,074
It is my fault.
769
00:34:40,076 --> 00:34:41,408
No, it's not.
770
00:34:41,410 --> 00:34:43,644
You-you don't deserve
blame for any of this
771
00:34:43,646 --> 00:34:45,012
or what led to this.
772
00:34:45,014 --> 00:34:46,580
You've had a really
tough time in your life.
773
00:34:46,582 --> 00:34:49,516
We all have. You've
shown me that I have, too.
774
00:34:50,064 --> 00:34:51,352
What do you mean?
775
00:34:51,354 --> 00:34:52,720
Take me for example.
776
00:34:53,025 --> 00:34:56,290
I have issues with my father.
I have issues with my mother.
777
00:34:56,292 --> 00:34:58,359
Those things made me kind of a jerk.
778
00:34:58,361 --> 00:34:59,793
You helped me realize that.
779
00:34:59,795 --> 00:35:01,528
You helped me to see that sometimes
780
00:35:01,530 --> 00:35:02,885
we can't control how we act.
781
00:35:03,499 --> 00:35:05,532
I mean, everyone has
their reasons, right?
782
00:35:05,534 --> 00:35:08,135
♪ ♪
783
00:35:09,372 --> 00:35:12,106
♪ Before I knew you ♪
784
00:35:12,108 --> 00:35:15,876
♪ I did bad things
and didn't know why ♪
785
00:35:17,575 --> 00:35:20,414
♪ But now I know you ♪
786
00:35:20,416 --> 00:35:24,646
♪ And I've learned to look inside ♪
787
00:35:24,825 --> 00:35:28,622
♪ I understand what makes
me frightened and sad ♪
788
00:35:28,624 --> 00:35:31,925
♪ So, yes, I still do bad things ♪
789
00:35:31,927 --> 00:35:34,646
♪ But are they actually bad? ♪
790
00:35:34,930 --> 00:35:36,730
♪ No! ♪
791
00:35:36,732 --> 00:35:40,975
♪ Because nothing is
ever anyone's fault ♪
792
00:35:41,370 --> 00:35:45,305
♪ We're all just products
of childhood trauma ♪
793
00:35:45,307 --> 00:35:49,061
♪ Nothing is ever anyone's fault ♪
794
00:35:49,712 --> 00:35:53,914
♪ Pain causes anger
and fear causes drama ♪
795
00:35:53,916 --> 00:35:57,684
♪ We can't control the
things we do, just like ♪
796
00:35:57,686 --> 00:35:59,520
♪ I can't control ♪
797
00:35:59,522 --> 00:36:03,123
♪ That I'm in love with you ♪
798
00:36:03,125 --> 00:36:05,859
Wow, the first part was kind of amoral,
799
00:36:05,861 --> 00:36:08,162
but that last thing was really sweet.
800
00:36:08,164 --> 00:36:10,397
- Thanks.
- What else?
801
00:36:12,568 --> 00:36:15,569
♪ I was raised to believe ♪
802
00:36:15,571 --> 00:36:18,939
♪ That every person's
in charge of their fate ♪
803
00:36:20,543 --> 00:36:23,529
♪ But now I clearly see ♪
804
00:36:23,693 --> 00:36:28,182
♪ That my father's a dick,
and he filled me with hate ♪
805
00:36:28,184 --> 00:36:30,350
You were the first
person who told me that.
806
00:36:30,352 --> 00:36:31,718
Maybe you have a point.
807
00:36:31,720 --> 00:36:35,589
♪ I was brought up
by a fat-shaming mom ♪
808
00:36:35,591 --> 00:36:39,093
♪ Who made me take laxatives
the week before prom ♪
809
00:36:39,095 --> 00:36:43,197
Yup. ♪ Now I overeat
ever since that abuse ♪
810
00:36:43,199 --> 00:36:44,198
See?
811
00:36:44,200 --> 00:36:48,135
♪ Psychology is a great excuse ♪
812
00:36:48,137 --> 00:36:50,237
♪ Nothing is ever anyone's fault ♪
813
00:36:50,239 --> 00:36:52,372
♪ Nothing is ever anyone's fault ♪
814
00:36:52,374 --> 00:36:55,509
♪ John Wayne Gacy
was hit by his dad ♪
815
00:36:55,511 --> 00:36:58,579
Exactly. ♪ It wasn't
technically Hitler's fault ♪
816
00:36:58,581 --> 00:37:00,414
♪ Wasn't technically Hitler's fault ♪
817
00:37:00,416 --> 00:37:01,782
♪ Hitler's brother died ♪
818
00:37:01,784 --> 00:37:04,118
♪ And that made him super sad ♪
819
00:37:04,120 --> 00:37:08,188
♪ It's hard to paint
people with evil or glory ♪
820
00:37:08,190 --> 00:37:12,226
♪ When you know that everyone's
got a tragic backstory ♪
821
00:37:12,228 --> 00:37:16,330
♪ Free will's an illusion,
morality is, too ♪
822
00:37:16,332 --> 00:37:18,432
♪ So it's not my fault ♪
823
00:37:18,434 --> 00:37:22,236
♪ That my parents messed me up ♪
824
00:37:22,238 --> 00:37:26,273
♪ 'Cause their parents
messed them up ♪
825
00:37:26,275 --> 00:37:30,344
♪ And Adam and Eve
were messed up by God ♪
826
00:37:30,346 --> 00:37:34,904
♪ Who was messed up
originally by the Big Bang ♪
827
00:37:35,351 --> 00:37:38,886
♪ Everything is the
Big Bang's fault ♪
828
00:37:38,888 --> 00:37:40,320
Good point!
829
00:37:40,322 --> 00:37:43,957
♪ Energy in space was
the ultimate bad father ♪
830
00:37:43,959 --> 00:37:46,560
♪ Nothing is nobody's fault ♪
831
00:37:46,562 --> 00:37:48,262
♪ Nothing is nobody's ♪
832
00:37:48,264 --> 00:37:50,030
♪ Is that a double negative? ♪
833
00:37:50,032 --> 00:37:52,777
♪ Eh, it sounds good, why bother? ♪
834
00:37:54,069 --> 00:37:56,737
♪ But I'm glad for the trauma ♪
835
00:37:56,739 --> 00:37:58,672
♪ I'm glad for it, too ♪
836
00:37:58,674 --> 00:38:01,275
♪ 'Cause my past is what led me ♪
837
00:38:01,277 --> 00:38:04,778
♪ To fall in love ♪
838
00:38:04,780 --> 00:38:09,316
♪ With you. ♪
839
00:38:22,893 --> 00:38:24,436
Oh.
840
00:38:30,491 --> 00:38:32,673
Is Paula coming? Did you call her?
841
00:38:32,675 --> 00:38:35,200
I called her, and I don't know.
842
00:38:35,225 --> 00:38:37,344
Look, Rebecca, all you have to do now
843
00:38:37,346 --> 00:38:39,713
is plead not guilty
by reason of insanity.
844
00:38:39,715 --> 00:38:40,814
It's that's simple.
845
00:38:40,941 --> 00:38:43,639
Okay. Okay.
846
00:38:43,664 --> 00:38:46,865
Hey. You can do this.
847
00:38:48,381 --> 00:38:49,723
All rise.
848
00:38:54,964 --> 00:38:56,530
You may be seated.
849
00:38:56,952 --> 00:39:00,634
This is Criminal Case Number 15-4270,
850
00:39:00,636 --> 00:39:04,303
The People of Los Angeles
County v. Rebecca Nora Bunch.
851
00:39:04,829 --> 00:39:07,630
Miss Bunch, how do you plead?
852
00:39:11,247 --> 00:39:15,282
Your Honor, I plead not
guilty by reason of...
853
00:39:16,191 --> 00:39:18,458
♪ ♪
854
00:39:32,449 --> 00:39:34,783
By reason of, um...
855
00:39:34,808 --> 00:39:36,908
Insanity.
856
00:39:38,552 --> 00:39:40,407
Wow, I'm sorry, I can't do this.
857
00:39:42,810 --> 00:39:46,780
I may have borderline,
but I'm not insane.
858
00:39:48,749 --> 00:39:51,683
I'm responsible for everything
that happened, all of it.
859
00:39:55,564 --> 00:39:57,224
As long as I can remember,
860
00:39:57,226 --> 00:39:59,900
I've let some other
force control my life.
861
00:40:01,781 --> 00:40:03,728
My mother told me who to be.
862
00:40:05,001 --> 00:40:07,369
Love told me where to go.
863
00:40:08,611 --> 00:40:10,114
And I went along with it all
864
00:40:10,139 --> 00:40:13,877
because I told myself that
they weren't my choices.
865
00:40:14,552 --> 00:40:17,753
That somehow the choices
were being made for me.
866
00:40:19,748 --> 00:40:23,750
But that's just not true.
They were my choices.
867
00:40:23,752 --> 00:40:25,886
It's my life, and I'm responsible
868
00:40:25,888 --> 00:40:29,323
no matter what illness I have
or what my parents were like.
869
00:40:29,325 --> 00:40:31,325
And let's be clear, they suck.
870
00:40:36,999 --> 00:40:38,917
I didn't mean to hurt Trent.
871
00:40:40,803 --> 00:40:42,526
But I did hurt him.
872
00:40:44,057 --> 00:40:46,206
And I want to face the consequences
873
00:40:46,208 --> 00:40:49,886
of what happened on that roof,
and of everything in my life.
874
00:40:53,015 --> 00:40:54,357
I have to.
875
00:40:57,857 --> 00:40:59,404
I'm so sorry.
876
00:41:02,286 --> 00:41:05,087
I want to change, Paula.
877
00:41:06,707 --> 00:41:08,646
And I swear, I'm gonna try.
878
00:41:10,315 --> 00:41:11,873
You don't have to believe me.
879
00:41:13,318 --> 00:41:15,068
I mean, I wouldn't if I were you.
880
00:41:15,147 --> 00:41:17,895
I've broken so many promises.
881
00:41:18,732 --> 00:41:21,214
But I hope that this time
is gonna be different,
882
00:41:23,278 --> 00:41:24,730
because this time
883
00:41:25,820 --> 00:41:28,988
I truly want to be held
responsible for my actions.
884
00:41:31,523 --> 00:41:33,526
So I plead responsible.
885
00:41:35,324 --> 00:41:38,759
I mean... guilty.
886
00:41:44,500 --> 00:41:46,066
I plead guilty.
887
00:41:57,012 --> 00:42:01,315
-- Synced and corrected by ChrisKe --
-- www.addic7ed.com --
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