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1
00:00:07,646 --> 00:00:10,181
I tell you, Douglas,
that bank is stealing my money.
2
00:00:10,396 --> 00:00:13,677
For the last time, it's a service charge.
Get in the car.
3
00:00:14,145 --> 00:00:16,100
Thieves!
4
00:00:16,353 --> 00:00:18,427
It's a dollar. Let it go.
5
00:00:21,644 --> 00:00:23,599
- Can you give me a second, please?
- It's locked.
6
00:00:23,810 --> 00:00:25,931
- I know, you gotta wait one sec, okay?
- Try it now?
7
00:00:26,143 --> 00:00:27,552
- No, not yet. Every time-
- Now?
8
00:00:27,768 --> 00:00:30,967
- No, not yet. When you keep doing-
- Now? Now? Now?
9
00:00:31,184 --> 00:00:33,221
All right, you know what?
Step away from the car.
10
00:00:33,475 --> 00:00:36,259
Sit down on the curb,
I'll come around and let you in.
11
00:00:56,680 --> 00:00:58,089
Hey, honey. Come here.
12
00:00:58,346 --> 00:01:00,135
What? What now?
13
00:01:00,387 --> 00:01:02,840
I got my boxes out of storage today.
Look at all this.
14
00:01:03,095 --> 00:01:07,835
Your mother's old things, ukulele,
Communist Party literature...
15
00:01:08,303 --> 00:01:10,507
Oh, and here we go.
16
00:01:10,719 --> 00:01:13,172
I think you know what these are.
17
00:01:13,968 --> 00:01:15,793
Your photo albums.
18
00:01:16,051 --> 00:01:17,425
I've seen those.
19
00:01:17,635 --> 00:01:19,293
A lot.
20
00:01:20,259 --> 00:01:22,545
Come on. It's gonna happen.
21
00:01:22,759 --> 00:01:24,714
Don't fight it.
22
00:01:28,758 --> 00:01:30,464
Honey?
23
00:01:30,882 --> 00:01:31,912
We're out of jerky.
24
00:01:32,174 --> 00:01:33,832
Oh, you're right. I am so sorry.
25
00:01:34,049 --> 00:01:37,793
Why don't you come
have a seat right there...
26
00:01:38,006 --> 00:01:40,210
Sit right there, and I'm gonna go...
27
00:01:41,006 --> 00:01:42,913
...do something else.
28
00:01:50,338 --> 00:01:51,664
Honey?
29
00:01:52,712 --> 00:01:54,868
Here's another beaut.
30
00:01:55,628 --> 00:01:59,917
Ocean City, 1958.
That's me in the pompadour.
31
00:02:00,461 --> 00:02:02,332
There we are
in Hershey, Pennsylvania,
32
00:02:02,544 --> 00:02:04,581
getting the chocolate tour.
33
00:02:05,002 --> 00:02:08,367
And there's what a flesh-eating bacteria
can do to the human hand.
34
00:02:10,209 --> 00:02:12,958
There's the lake at Camp Wigwam.
35
00:02:13,167 --> 00:02:15,122
And there's me in the trenches
with Mickey Dugan,
36
00:02:15,333 --> 00:02:17,039
right after his leg got blown off.
37
00:02:18,083 --> 00:02:20,749
Wow, maybe you should think about
organizing these a little, huh?
38
00:02:20,958 --> 00:02:22,035
What do you mean?
39
00:02:22,249 --> 00:02:24,038
I don't know.
Maybe get two books, you know?
40
00:02:24,249 --> 00:02:28,704
One for family stuff
and one for bloody carnage.
41
00:02:29,040 --> 00:02:31,575
Look at that. Little Carrie.
42
00:02:31,831 --> 00:02:34,401
- Look at her, what is she, about 10?
- Yeah.
43
00:02:34,622 --> 00:02:37,157
Oh, look at her here.
She's just a little baby in the bathtub.
44
00:02:37,372 --> 00:02:40,120
Look at that tushy,
I could just bite it.
45
00:02:41,454 --> 00:02:44,617
- That's me.
- Damn it, Arthur!
46
00:02:44,829 --> 00:02:47,495
Organise these, would you?
47
00:02:52,952 --> 00:02:54,694
Hey, who's that?
48
00:02:55,369 --> 00:02:58,283
That's my first wife, Sophia.
Carrie's mom.
49
00:02:58,493 --> 00:03:00,199
- It is?
- Yeah.
50
00:03:00,409 --> 00:03:03,821
That's up in the Catskills,
about a year before she passed.
51
00:03:04,034 --> 00:03:06,273
Wow, I didn't realise she was so...
52
00:03:06,533 --> 00:03:07,812
Fat?
53
00:03:08,700 --> 00:03:10,073
Oh, yeah. Big girI.
54
00:03:10,324 --> 00:03:12,445
But I've seen other pictures of her.
She wasn't so...
55
00:03:12,699 --> 00:03:14,026
Fat?
56
00:03:15,157 --> 00:03:18,024
Yeah, she was slim like Carrie
when I first met her,
57
00:03:18,240 --> 00:03:20,065
but eventually she just got,
you know.
58
00:03:20,281 --> 00:03:22,734
- Fat?
- Hey, you're talking about my wife!
59
00:03:25,030 --> 00:03:26,606
I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
60
00:03:27,697 --> 00:03:29,272
Don't worry about it.
61
00:03:29,488 --> 00:03:32,190
Actually, I didn't mind a bit.
62
00:03:32,404 --> 00:03:35,106
Just so much more to love.
63
00:03:35,362 --> 00:03:37,648
Then you must have adored her.
64
00:03:39,653 --> 00:03:41,276
You know, it's funny.
65
00:03:41,486 --> 00:03:44,270
All the women in that family
start out thin,
66
00:03:44,486 --> 00:03:46,855
and then just blow up.
67
00:03:47,777 --> 00:03:49,518
Must be the genes.
68
00:03:57,650 --> 00:04:00,316
Honey, funny thing
at the office today.
69
00:04:00,483 --> 00:04:02,722
Somebody shoves a birthday card
in front of me
70
00:04:02,941 --> 00:04:04,896
and says,
"We're all signing it, it's for Chris. "
71
00:04:05,107 --> 00:04:07,477
I'm thinking it's Chris,
the kid who runs the copy machine,
72
00:04:07,690 --> 00:04:12,062
so I write, "Happy birthday
to the sexiest thing in the office", right?
73
00:04:12,356 --> 00:04:14,512
Turns out,
74
00:04:14,731 --> 00:04:19,268
that it's for Christine,
the senior partner.
75
00:04:20,063 --> 00:04:23,642
So either I'm fired
or I got a new girlfriend.
76
00:04:25,937 --> 00:04:27,181
Honey, what's the matter?
77
00:04:27,978 --> 00:04:29,471
Nothing.
78
00:04:29,686 --> 00:04:32,139
Well, you had a weird look
on your face.
79
00:04:32,394 --> 00:04:36,434
No, I was just thinking
how beautifuI you are,
80
00:04:36,644 --> 00:04:41,051
and how happy I am with the life
that we built together.
81
00:04:43,268 --> 00:04:44,926
Whatever.
82
00:04:52,558 --> 00:04:54,216
Hey, what are you doing?
83
00:04:54,432 --> 00:04:56,588
I thought I'd pick you up,
carry you over to the bed.
84
00:04:56,807 --> 00:04:58,548
It's romantic.
85
00:04:58,932 --> 00:05:00,472
Okay.
86
00:05:11,596 --> 00:05:13,587
Hey, you.
87
00:05:14,721 --> 00:05:15,834
It's romantic, huh?
88
00:05:16,512 --> 00:05:18,419
Not yet.
89
00:05:21,136 --> 00:05:22,546
All right.
90
00:05:22,761 --> 00:05:24,668
There you go.
91
00:05:25,011 --> 00:05:26,633
Hey, that was great.
92
00:05:26,885 --> 00:05:29,006
I'm gonna go watch the news, okay?
93
00:05:35,426 --> 00:05:37,381
Did you see what they did
to the snack machine?
94
00:05:37,634 --> 00:05:39,292
You know G-11, the big cookie?
95
00:05:39,550 --> 00:05:42,713
Now it's raisins, the yellow ones.
What the hell is that about?
96
00:05:43,299 --> 00:05:46,131
Hey, Deac, let me ask you.
Do you think Carrie's gained weight?
97
00:05:46,382 --> 00:05:47,412
What?
98
00:05:47,674 --> 00:05:49,629
Carrie, my wife.
Do you think she's gained weight?
99
00:05:49,840 --> 00:05:51,001
Couple pounds maybe?
100
00:05:51,256 --> 00:05:54,704
I don't know. Every time I see her,
she's blocked by you.
101
00:05:57,547 --> 00:05:59,336
I know I'm fat, all right?
That's a given.
102
00:05:59,588 --> 00:06:02,539
Oh, good, because I didn't wanna
have to break that to you, you know?
103
00:06:02,755 --> 00:06:05,243
Yeah, but you know what,
I'm not gaining, okay? I've plateaued.
104
00:06:05,462 --> 00:06:07,666
Everything now is just maintenance.
105
00:06:07,920 --> 00:06:11,586
Even if she has gained some weight,
there's nothing you can do about it.
106
00:06:11,623 --> 00:06:13,493
Sure there is.
I can talk to her about it.
107
00:06:13,711 --> 00:06:15,204
Actually, I'm gonna.
108
00:06:16,877 --> 00:06:18,914
Let me ask you a question.
109
00:06:19,127 --> 00:06:22,658
Would you say, basically,
your life is good right now?
110
00:06:22,876 --> 00:06:25,543
- Yeah.
- Good wife, good job, the whole thing?
111
00:06:26,251 --> 00:06:29,165
- Yeah.
- Don't pick at it.
112
00:06:30,125 --> 00:06:31,914
Carrie and I have
a very open relationship.
113
00:06:32,125 --> 00:06:34,364
We talk about things.
I think I can bring it up.
114
00:06:34,624 --> 00:06:36,994
Oh, really?
Well, let me tell you a little story.
115
00:06:37,207 --> 00:06:39,909
Last summer, I noticed
that Kelly had put on about 15 pounds,
116
00:06:40,123 --> 00:06:44,579
so I figured, like you,
that I'd bring it up, all casuaI,
117
00:06:44,789 --> 00:06:47,159
like really supportive and everything.
118
00:06:49,414 --> 00:06:53,110
It's been seven months, okay,
and my life still isn't back to normaI.
119
00:06:53,330 --> 00:06:55,900
She was so mad at me
that she kept the 15 pounds,
120
00:06:56,121 --> 00:06:59,533
and gained another 10,
just as spite-weight.
121
00:06:59,787 --> 00:07:02,240
You know what? I think Carrie
can take constructive criticism
122
00:07:02,453 --> 00:07:04,029
a little bit better than Kelly.
123
00:07:04,286 --> 00:07:07,947
Okay, fine. Then go with God.
124
00:07:43,446 --> 00:07:45,236
What happened to my coffee cake?
125
00:07:45,571 --> 00:07:46,980
What?
126
00:07:48,196 --> 00:07:49,605
You ate my cake?
127
00:07:49,862 --> 00:07:51,769
Was that yours?
128
00:07:52,195 --> 00:07:55,726
Well, I put it on my plate.
I didn't think I had to labeI it.
129
00:07:56,486 --> 00:07:58,441
Whatever, I'll just have
a doughnut or something.
130
00:07:58,652 --> 00:07:59,766
Hey, you know what?
131
00:08:00,777 --> 00:08:02,897
Don't scream. What?
132
00:08:03,152 --> 00:08:05,474
I was just thinking.
You know what? You're right.
133
00:08:05,693 --> 00:08:07,766
I shouldn't have eaten
that coffee cake, you know?
134
00:08:08,192 --> 00:08:11,522
I'm so fat, you know?
135
00:08:11,733 --> 00:08:13,640
I just really need
to lose some weight.
136
00:08:15,066 --> 00:08:16,856
You know what?
We should go on a diet together
137
00:08:17,066 --> 00:08:18,724
so I could take some of this off.
138
00:08:20,357 --> 00:08:21,470
We?
139
00:08:21,982 --> 00:08:24,517
Yeah, you know,
I feeI bloated, you know?
140
00:08:24,731 --> 00:08:29,684
Very disgusting right now,
and I just really feeI,
141
00:08:29,939 --> 00:08:32,012
if we went on a diet, that...
142
00:08:33,522 --> 00:08:34,801
...it'd really do the trick.
143
00:08:35,438 --> 00:08:37,642
And is there a reason
you keep saying "we"?
144
00:08:37,896 --> 00:08:40,562
Yeah, it's just like:
145
00:08:41,354 --> 00:08:43,676
"We're on a diet!"
146
00:08:44,936 --> 00:08:46,974
What do you think, I'm an idiot?
147
00:08:48,477 --> 00:08:51,475
If you want me to lose weight,
why don't you just come out and say it?
148
00:08:52,560 --> 00:08:55,558
Okay, look, I know it's ridiculous
for me to be bringing this up.
149
00:08:55,768 --> 00:08:59,133
I mean, look at me,
I look like I'm in my 12th trimester here.
150
00:09:00,601 --> 00:09:02,804
Maybe it is possible
that over the last couple of years,
151
00:09:03,017 --> 00:09:07,922
you have gained
a few tiny, tiny pounds.
152
00:09:09,432 --> 00:09:13,888
It is so not a big deaI, Carrie.
I mean, Deacon's wife...
153
00:09:14,098 --> 00:09:18,305
He said she gained, like, 15 pounds.
So, by comparison, this is nothing.
154
00:09:18,848 --> 00:09:20,174
You talked to Deacon about this?
155
00:09:20,431 --> 00:09:22,800
No, I would never do that. No.
156
00:09:26,596 --> 00:09:29,345
Honey, I shouldn't have ever
brought this up, I'm sorry.
157
00:09:30,221 --> 00:09:34,048
It's- You're right, I...
158
00:09:34,387 --> 00:09:37,633
Maybe I have put on a few pounds,
but I will take it off.
159
00:09:38,011 --> 00:09:40,250
- Only if you're okay with it.
- I said I would, I will.
160
00:09:40,469 --> 00:09:42,625
- Okay.
- Okay.
161
00:09:42,844 --> 00:09:45,510
- Well, great.
- Great.
162
00:09:46,093 --> 00:09:48,581
Hey, baby, who's my best girI, huh?
163
00:09:51,092 --> 00:09:53,083
You are.
164
00:10:20,296 --> 00:10:21,918
Hey, what do you got there?
165
00:10:22,295 --> 00:10:24,001
Three ounces of poached haddock.
166
00:10:24,212 --> 00:10:25,834
Nice.
167
00:10:26,045 --> 00:10:28,118
We're dining in style tonight, huh?
168
00:10:29,586 --> 00:10:32,785
Greetings, one and all.
Sorry I'm late,
169
00:10:33,044 --> 00:10:38,707
but I was going through those boxes
and found my old little black book.
170
00:10:40,376 --> 00:10:42,864
Sit down, Dad. Dinner's ready.
171
00:10:43,125 --> 00:10:45,116
Lenore Bickle.
172
00:10:45,708 --> 00:10:48,161
I should give
that little hottie a call.
173
00:10:49,874 --> 00:10:54,282
I wonder if she's still
at Klondike 50197.
174
00:10:54,540 --> 00:10:58,368
Maybe after dinner you can ask Myrtle
to patch you through.
175
00:10:59,581 --> 00:11:02,283
Dinner Italiano.
176
00:11:03,497 --> 00:11:05,155
Aren't you having anything,
sweetheart?
177
00:11:05,413 --> 00:11:07,155
No. I'm on a diet.
178
00:11:08,580 --> 00:11:11,660
You kids with your dieting
and your health.
179
00:11:11,871 --> 00:11:15,911
In my day, we dropped dead
of a massive coronary in our mid-50s
180
00:11:16,120 --> 00:11:17,696
and we liked it.
181
00:11:22,702 --> 00:11:24,325
It's fine, Dad.
I wanted to lose weight.
182
00:11:24,535 --> 00:11:27,817
Honey, could you pass the
I Can't Believe It's Not Salad Dressing?
183
00:11:30,076 --> 00:11:31,901
Thank you.
184
00:11:36,742 --> 00:11:39,064
All right, this is stupid.
You don't need to lose weight.
185
00:11:39,283 --> 00:11:41,736
- You're fine the way you are.
- No, no, no, I'm doing this.
186
00:11:41,949 --> 00:11:43,738
Here, let me give you
some spaghetti.
187
00:11:43,949 --> 00:11:46,484
No, Doug, please.
Would you just leave me alone?
188
00:11:46,698 --> 00:11:49,447
All right, if you're going on a diet,
then I'm going on a diet.
189
00:11:49,656 --> 00:11:53,566
Hey, stop with the diet talk!
It's crazy.
190
00:11:54,614 --> 00:11:57,481
Actually, you could
lose a few pounds.
191
00:11:58,113 --> 00:12:00,483
Well, I intend to, okay?
I'll tell you that right now.
192
00:12:00,696 --> 00:12:03,859
I'm gonna fix myself
a nice plate right here.
193
00:12:04,070 --> 00:12:06,357
Good hunk of haddock,
194
00:12:06,737 --> 00:12:09,023
some veggies,
195
00:12:09,236 --> 00:12:12,815
and I am golden.
196
00:12:29,691 --> 00:12:31,232
Honey, was that enough for you?
197
00:12:31,691 --> 00:12:33,563
Oh, yeah. Plenty.
198
00:12:33,774 --> 00:12:35,978
Couldn't eat another drop.
199
00:12:37,190 --> 00:12:39,227
Sweet broccoli.
200
00:12:53,229 --> 00:12:56,429
Honey, I gotta tell you,
I am loving this celery.
201
00:12:56,979 --> 00:12:59,383
And unlike a chilli dog,
no mess in the bed.
202
00:13:01,436 --> 00:13:02,431
Flannels?
203
00:13:02,644 --> 00:13:05,215
What happened to that cute number
you were wearing last night?
204
00:13:07,602 --> 00:13:09,178
What are those on your p. j. 's?
205
00:13:10,976 --> 00:13:12,599
Ducks.
206
00:13:14,309 --> 00:13:18,089
You know, I've always been
a little attracted to ducks.
207
00:13:18,808 --> 00:13:21,722
Webbed feet, feathers.
208
00:13:22,058 --> 00:13:24,297
Flying in a V.
209
00:13:29,848 --> 00:13:31,673
What's the matter?
210
00:13:31,889 --> 00:13:35,752
I guess I'm a little tired
from being so fat.
211
00:13:36,597 --> 00:13:39,381
Come on, Carrie.
I should have never brought this up.
212
00:13:39,638 --> 00:13:41,427
That stupid picture.
213
00:13:41,680 --> 00:13:43,089
What picture?
214
00:13:43,346 --> 00:13:44,886
When your Dad
was showing me the albums,
215
00:13:45,096 --> 00:13:47,051
there was this picture
of your mother, and I-
216
00:13:47,304 --> 00:13:49,792
Oh, I get it, so because my mom
gained a lot of weight,
217
00:13:50,012 --> 00:13:51,552
you're afraid I'm going to?
218
00:13:52,261 --> 00:13:54,963
No, not afraid.
219
00:13:55,177 --> 00:13:57,879
Just mildly aware.
220
00:13:58,760 --> 00:13:59,873
Come on, I really wanna know.
221
00:14:00,135 --> 00:14:03,630
How would you feeI
if I did end up looking like my mother?
222
00:14:03,843 --> 00:14:06,247
I'd be fine with it.
223
00:14:09,675 --> 00:14:13,620
Doug, I could see your reflection
in the window.
224
00:14:39,378 --> 00:14:41,534
- What did you do? What did you do?
- What?
225
00:14:41,753 --> 00:14:44,076
You told Carrie what I said
about my wife being overweight?
226
00:14:44,336 --> 00:14:46,871
What? I don't- I think you're wrong.
227
00:14:47,127 --> 00:14:48,869
I'm not wrong. They talk.
228
00:14:49,085 --> 00:14:50,992
Damn it,
what are you doing to me, huh?
229
00:14:52,001 --> 00:14:54,157
I thought I'd make Carrie feeI better.
I didn't think-
230
00:14:54,376 --> 00:14:57,706
That's right, you didn't think.
Seven months of work, undone.
231
00:14:57,917 --> 00:15:00,038
I came home last night
and Kelly was weeping
232
00:15:00,250 --> 00:15:03,201
and giving me the finger
at the same time.
233
00:15:03,874 --> 00:15:06,114
Never seen that before.
234
00:15:07,041 --> 00:15:09,078
If it's any consolation to you,
my life is hell too.
235
00:15:09,332 --> 00:15:11,902
- That does make me feeI better.
- Now I'm on a diet.
236
00:15:12,165 --> 00:15:14,036
Carrie won't sleep with me.
237
00:15:14,248 --> 00:15:16,368
No sex. No food.
238
00:15:16,581 --> 00:15:19,993
If the cable goes out,
I'm gonna have to kill myself.
239
00:15:20,455 --> 00:15:23,121
Didn't I warn you
not to pick at your life?
240
00:15:23,288 --> 00:15:26,819
- Hey, what's on that?
- But you couldn't listen, could you? No.
241
00:15:27,037 --> 00:15:30,035
"We talk. We communicate. "
242
00:15:30,245 --> 00:15:32,319
Look at you now.
243
00:15:50,159 --> 00:15:52,729
- Hey, Dad.
- Hello, darling. Where were you?
244
00:15:52,991 --> 00:15:53,986
At the gym.
245
00:15:54,200 --> 00:15:56,355
Nothing like jumping jacks
and the old vibrating belt
246
00:15:56,574 --> 00:15:58,648
to get you in the pink, huh?
247
00:15:59,782 --> 00:16:01,902
- Right.
- Look what I found in here.
248
00:16:02,115 --> 00:16:04,022
Some pictures from your wedding.
249
00:16:04,365 --> 00:16:05,442
What year was that?
250
00:16:06,364 --> 00:16:07,940
Ninety-five.
251
00:16:09,614 --> 00:16:12,315
That was a simpler time, wasn't it?
252
00:16:13,530 --> 00:16:16,527
Oh, look at me in my wedding dress.
253
00:16:16,738 --> 00:16:19,688
- I looked good, didn't I?
- Breathtaking.
254
00:16:19,904 --> 00:16:22,901
Well, those days are gone.
255
00:16:24,945 --> 00:16:26,437
What are you talking about?
256
00:16:26,653 --> 00:16:28,808
Now I'm just getting older
and gaining weight,
257
00:16:29,027 --> 00:16:34,016
and before I know it, I'm just gonna be
big and fat and not attractive anymore.
258
00:16:35,026 --> 00:16:36,021
You're crazy.
259
00:16:36,234 --> 00:16:38,355
And even if you do gain
a little weight, believe me...
260
00:16:39,317 --> 00:16:41,521
- ... men like that.
- No, they don't.
261
00:16:41,733 --> 00:16:45,063
Oh, no? Look at this.
262
00:16:45,649 --> 00:16:47,604
Look at the women in here.
263
00:16:47,816 --> 00:16:50,055
Full-figured and voluptuous.
264
00:16:50,274 --> 00:16:52,229
This is a men's magazine.
265
00:16:52,440 --> 00:16:54,975
This is what men like.
266
00:16:57,189 --> 00:17:00,885
"Va-Voom. ApriI, 1951."
267
00:17:06,021 --> 00:17:08,853
Okay, so what was
the big emergency?
268
00:17:09,104 --> 00:17:10,301
Okay.
269
00:17:10,520 --> 00:17:12,226
Here's the thing.
270
00:17:12,978 --> 00:17:15,301
What would make you feeI better
if someone told you
271
00:17:15,520 --> 00:17:17,427
you'd gained a couple pounds?
272
00:17:18,602 --> 00:17:19,799
Oh, my God.
273
00:17:20,019 --> 00:17:22,507
You called me all the way down here
just to tell me I look fat?
274
00:17:23,685 --> 00:17:25,889
What, in a crowded bar,
to keep me from making a scene?
275
00:17:26,143 --> 00:17:28,347
Will you relax?
I'm talking about your sister.
276
00:17:28,684 --> 00:17:30,758
Oh, thank God.
277
00:17:31,017 --> 00:17:33,303
I made a stupid comment
about her weight,
278
00:17:33,517 --> 00:17:36,431
and I think I might have upset her
a little bit.
279
00:17:38,349 --> 00:17:39,925
Seriously though, do I look chubby?
280
00:17:40,390 --> 00:17:41,421
No!
281
00:17:41,682 --> 00:17:43,838
Okay, look, Doug,
saying that you've gained weight
282
00:17:44,057 --> 00:17:45,881
is the worst thing
you could say to a woman.
283
00:17:46,140 --> 00:17:47,597
It's like, you know,
284
00:17:47,848 --> 00:17:51,508
what if Carrie told you that sometimes
you didn't satisfy her sexually?
285
00:17:52,139 --> 00:17:53,963
Did she say that?
286
00:17:54,597 --> 00:17:55,591
No.
287
00:17:56,388 --> 00:17:57,549
Why did you pause?
288
00:17:58,263 --> 00:18:00,715
- Did I pause?
- Yes, there was a long pause.
289
00:18:02,637 --> 00:18:04,592
Sara, tell me, did she say that?
What did she say?
290
00:18:04,845 --> 00:18:07,298
Okay, she didn't say that, no.
291
00:18:08,636 --> 00:18:10,045
But something like that?
292
00:18:11,677 --> 00:18:14,758
- No, not really.
- Another pause. Stop pausing!
293
00:18:15,010 --> 00:18:18,541
Look, I'm just thinking
about how fat I am, okay?
294
00:18:18,801 --> 00:18:21,371
- I feeI like I've been shot.
- Yeah, well, good luck with that.
295
00:18:30,799 --> 00:18:32,173
Honey?
296
00:18:36,798 --> 00:18:39,582
Lordy, Lordy, Lord.
297
00:18:40,714 --> 00:18:43,202
- Hello.
- What are you doing?
298
00:18:43,464 --> 00:18:47,409
I just ate an entire yule log
I was saving for Christmas.
299
00:18:48,338 --> 00:18:52,994
Now I'm even fatter,
and we have no holiday dessert.
300
00:18:54,170 --> 00:18:55,995
Oh, honey.
301
00:18:56,211 --> 00:18:58,249
You got out your wedding dress.
302
00:18:58,503 --> 00:19:01,169
You were right.
I couldn't even zip it up.
303
00:19:01,377 --> 00:19:03,782
I'm just a big, fat fatty.
304
00:19:05,252 --> 00:19:09,375
You just can't reach the zipper.
Here, let me.
305
00:19:12,375 --> 00:19:14,579
Okay, inhale a little.
306
00:19:15,458 --> 00:19:17,697
Little more.
307
00:19:18,708 --> 00:19:19,738
There you go.
308
00:19:21,166 --> 00:19:22,445
I'm dizzy.
309
00:19:23,207 --> 00:19:24,783
You know what?
310
00:19:25,373 --> 00:19:27,696
So what? You know, who cares?
311
00:19:27,915 --> 00:19:31,445
You still look great.
312
00:19:31,664 --> 00:19:33,322
No, I don't.
313
00:19:33,580 --> 00:19:35,985
Doug, the day I wore this dress
three years ago,
314
00:19:36,205 --> 00:19:37,863
that's the best I'm ever gonna look.
315
00:19:38,080 --> 00:19:39,323
It's all downhill from here.
316
00:19:39,538 --> 00:19:40,865
- It is not downhill.
- Yes, it is.
317
00:19:41,079 --> 00:19:42,572
- No, it's not.
- Yes, yes, yes, it is.
318
00:19:42,787 --> 00:19:44,991
Look. Look. Look.
This is my mother's dress.
319
00:19:45,203 --> 00:19:48,864
One day, I'm gonna fill out
this entire thing.
320
00:19:49,119 --> 00:19:51,157
- You know what? Give me the dress.
- What?
321
00:19:51,411 --> 00:19:53,200
Give me the dress.
322
00:19:53,744 --> 00:19:57,109
- What are you doing?
- I'm gonna put on your mother's dress.
323
00:19:57,368 --> 00:19:58,647
- Why?
- Why?
324
00:19:58,910 --> 00:20:00,450
Because it will be
way too small for me.
325
00:20:00,659 --> 00:20:02,863
Which means that even if you do
get to be as big as her,
326
00:20:03,075 --> 00:20:04,237
I'll still be bigger.
327
00:20:04,450 --> 00:20:08,941
Which means you'll always,
always be my skinny wife.
328
00:20:09,449 --> 00:20:11,902
It fits.
329
00:20:17,781 --> 00:20:20,649
Actually,
it needs to be taken in a little.
330
00:20:24,030 --> 00:20:25,772
Carrie, just...
331
00:20:25,988 --> 00:20:28,144
I'm begging you to let go of this.
332
00:20:28,613 --> 00:20:31,183
I want you to stop feeling bad.
333
00:20:31,404 --> 00:20:33,110
I want us to laugh.
334
00:20:33,321 --> 00:20:35,987
I want us to have sex.
335
00:20:36,695 --> 00:20:40,142
For the sweet love of God,
I want a sandwich.
336
00:20:43,152 --> 00:20:44,645
Listen to me.
337
00:20:44,860 --> 00:20:49,316
I think you're beautifuI.
You'll always, always be beautifuI.
338
00:20:49,568 --> 00:20:51,393
- Yeah, right.
- Yes.
339
00:20:51,651 --> 00:20:53,309
Right.
340
00:20:53,776 --> 00:20:55,979
But what if I do get fat?
341
00:20:56,192 --> 00:21:00,019
Just come in under a metric ton.
342
00:21:00,816 --> 00:21:03,482
- Or sag?
- Hey, sagging is great.
343
00:21:03,732 --> 00:21:07,107
What if I get stretch marks
and retain water?
344
00:21:07,143 --> 00:21:08,268
I love water.
345
00:21:13,522 --> 00:21:14,801
Look at you in this thing.
346
00:21:15,022 --> 00:21:17,345
- You're liking this, aren't you?
- Yeah.
347
00:21:17,938 --> 00:21:19,395
- You know what's scaring me?
- What?
348
00:21:19,605 --> 00:21:20,766
Something feels right.
349
00:21:27,437 --> 00:21:30,221
Douglas, a little advice:
350
00:21:30,436 --> 00:21:32,557
Wear a slip with that.
351
00:21:41,559 --> 00:21:43,016
What a night, huh?
352
00:21:43,226 --> 00:21:45,097
Some Chinese food,
353
00:21:45,309 --> 00:21:47,513
followed by some good deli,
354
00:21:47,725 --> 00:21:51,386
followed by some good loving
with the most beautifuI girI I know.
355
00:21:51,599 --> 00:21:55,011
Oh, honey, that's sweet.
356
00:21:56,557 --> 00:21:58,014
So the loving part...
357
00:21:58,223 --> 00:22:01,719
Was my performance
to my lady's liking?
358
00:22:03,139 --> 00:22:04,762
Yeah.
359
00:22:06,347 --> 00:22:08,503
What was that pause?
26827
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