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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,299 --> 00:00:06,059 The importance of relics in the Catholic Church is paramount. 2 00:00:06,099 --> 00:00:09,659 They have received the divine blessing of God himself, 3 00:00:09,699 --> 00:00:12,899 allowing the particular saint to hear and watch 4 00:00:12,939 --> 00:00:14,699 over the faithful masses. 5 00:00:14,739 --> 00:00:16,859 What have you dragged me here for? 6 00:00:16,899 --> 00:00:18,539 I'm a bit sketchy on relics. 7 00:00:20,779 --> 00:00:21,939 What's in the box? 8 00:00:23,019 --> 00:00:24,379 A relic. Oh. 9 00:00:25,739 --> 00:00:27,979 It's the remains of a Pope's heart. 10 00:00:28,019 --> 00:00:29,219 Oh, God! 11 00:00:29,259 --> 00:00:30,499 And...Sorry. 12 00:00:30,539 --> 00:00:33,019 ..as the great Hans Urs von Balthasar said, 13 00:00:34,139 --> 00:00:37,139 "What you are is God's gift to you, 14 00:00:37,179 --> 00:00:40,459 "and what you become is your gift." 15 00:00:43,739 --> 00:00:45,219 "To God" 16 00:00:45,259 --> 00:00:46,699 I beg your pardon? 17 00:00:48,059 --> 00:00:51,299 "What you become is your gift to God." 18 00:00:51,339 --> 00:00:53,219 Thank you for correcting me, Father. 19 00:00:53,259 --> 00:00:55,259 And thank you all for coming, everyone. 20 00:00:57,419 --> 00:01:00,219 Home, please. Yeah. Yeah. 21 00:01:12,939 --> 00:01:14,699 IN FRENCH: 22 00:01:21,299 --> 00:01:23,099 IN ENGLISH:Aw, thank you. 23 00:01:23,139 --> 00:01:24,659 It's from both of us. 24 00:01:35,699 --> 00:01:36,779 IN FRENCH: 25 00:01:48,979 --> 00:01:50,499 SHOUTING CONTINUES 26 00:02:04,939 --> 00:02:06,539 SHOUTING CONTINUES 27 00:02:10,099 --> 00:02:12,099 DELIVERY MAN SPEAKS FRENCH 28 00:02:15,179 --> 00:02:16,579 SHOUTING CEASES 29 00:02:28,219 --> 00:02:29,939 THEY GASP 30 00:02:38,139 --> 00:02:42,139 {\an8}# Do you remember the first time 31 00:02:42,179 --> 00:02:46,099 {\an8}# That my eyes set on you? 32 00:02:48,299 --> 00:02:51,579 {\an8}# Your smile came from nowhere 33 00:02:51,619 --> 00:02:58,219 {\an8}# For sometime never, or sometime soon 34 00:02:58,259 --> 00:03:00,819 {\an8}# The road is a long one 35 00:03:00,859 --> 00:03:05,179 {\an8}# I was only passing through 36 00:03:08,019 --> 00:03:14,859 {\an8}# I was only passing through. # 37 00:03:17,459 --> 00:03:20,499 I'll tell you what I don't understand about the church. 38 00:03:20,539 --> 00:03:22,139 They're always skint, aren't they? 39 00:03:22,179 --> 00:03:25,019 Eh.Well, every time I went to church when I was a kid, 40 00:03:25,059 --> 00:03:27,779 they're always banging on about the roof leaking 41 00:03:27,819 --> 00:03:30,099 or the graveyard caving in. 42 00:03:30,139 --> 00:03:34,579 Well, it must take a lot of money to maintain such beautiful buildings. 43 00:03:34,619 --> 00:03:37,019 Did you see the amount of cash going into that collection box? 44 00:03:37,059 --> 00:03:38,779 I can't see anything wrong with that church, 45 00:03:38,819 --> 00:03:40,059 looks absolutely fine to me. 46 00:03:40,099 --> 00:03:43,059 Blimey, Dom, I didn't know you felt so strongly 47 00:03:43,099 --> 00:03:45,339 about church maintenance. 48 00:03:45,379 --> 00:03:47,339 Is it because they've never actually asked you 49 00:03:47,379 --> 00:03:50,019 to do any work for them by any chance? 50 00:03:50,059 --> 00:03:52,059 No, I'm just saying if they're that hard up, 51 00:03:52,099 --> 00:03:55,019 why don't you just sell a few candlesticks, or...? 52 00:03:55,059 --> 00:03:58,059 Well, it's all about faith, isn't it? 53 00:03:58,099 --> 00:03:59,659 Well, you got to have faith. 54 00:03:59,699 --> 00:04:03,619 If you start singing George Michael, I'm going to hurt you. 55 00:04:03,659 --> 00:04:05,419 MUMBLING:He's dead. 56 00:04:05,459 --> 00:04:08,339 Father Donadieu is dead. Please, help. 57 00:04:27,019 --> 00:04:29,139 So, let's go over this again. 58 00:04:30,259 --> 00:04:31,339 Of course. 59 00:04:31,379 --> 00:04:34,579 We were taking delivery of the candles in the vestibule, 60 00:04:34,619 --> 00:04:39,219 and we realised that Farther Donadieu had stopped shouting. 61 00:04:41,159 --> 00:04:42,419 And then we saw him. 62 00:04:42,459 --> 00:04:44,019 It was awful. 63 00:04:44,059 --> 00:04:46,059 And the Sacred Heart was gone. 64 00:04:46,099 --> 00:04:48,259 He was shouting? 65 00:04:48,299 --> 00:04:51,379 Father Donadieu could be very impassioned. 66 00:04:51,419 --> 00:04:52,859 And the door was still bolted? 67 00:04:52,899 --> 00:04:55,219 No, no, we only opened the door to get some help. 68 00:04:55,259 --> 00:04:57,899 Hey, couldn't have been more than ten minutes before Father Durand 69 00:04:57,939 --> 00:05:00,139 came over for help - to the pub. 70 00:05:00,179 --> 00:05:02,779 I mean, I'd not even been served my drink. 71 00:05:02,819 --> 00:05:04,819 And what time was this delivery? 72 00:05:04,859 --> 00:05:08,819 It was 5:20pm, straight after the truck. 73 00:05:08,859 --> 00:05:11,939 It always is. Our delivery man will confirm. 74 00:05:11,979 --> 00:05:15,179 Madam White, do you know the approximate value 75 00:05:15,219 --> 00:05:16,619 of the stolen goods? 76 00:05:16,659 --> 00:05:20,019 Well, I'm not an expert in relics, but, uh, 77 00:05:20,059 --> 00:05:23,659 priceless in its spiritual value. 78 00:05:23,699 --> 00:05:25,259 Would it be easy to sell? 79 00:05:25,299 --> 00:05:28,699 Oh, there's always a buyer for the priceless. 80 00:05:28,739 --> 00:05:32,939 But if someone wanted to sell such a thing, where would they go? 81 00:05:32,979 --> 00:05:34,579 Uh, I really don't know. 82 00:05:34,619 --> 00:05:37,059 It's so specific, and... 83 00:05:38,499 --> 00:05:42,699 Actually, I might know someone who could help us. Excuse me. 84 00:05:52,739 --> 00:05:53,859 Hi, Dom. 85 00:05:55,379 --> 00:05:57,299 Fancy going on a pilgrimage? 86 00:05:59,019 --> 00:06:00,259 Lourdes? 87 00:06:00,299 --> 00:06:02,939 Well, I'm just going there to look up an old friend. 88 00:06:02,979 --> 00:06:04,419 Rather you than me. 89 00:06:04,459 --> 00:06:05,579 It's too touristy. 90 00:06:05,619 --> 00:06:07,819 DOOR OPENS Sorry, we're not open yet. 91 00:06:10,219 --> 00:06:12,859 My boy! Mommy! 92 00:06:12,899 --> 00:06:15,059 THEY CHUCKLE 93 00:06:15,099 --> 00:06:17,779 Mum, this is Dom and Gene. 94 00:06:17,819 --> 00:06:19,219 Charmed, I'm sure. 95 00:06:19,259 --> 00:06:21,179 Oh, lovely to meet you. 96 00:06:21,219 --> 00:06:22,819 Right, we best be off, then.Yeah. 97 00:06:22,859 --> 00:06:25,339 Where are you off to, dear? Lourdes. 98 00:06:25,379 --> 00:06:28,379 Oh, another child of the Lourdes! 99 00:06:28,419 --> 00:06:30,259 THEY CHUCKLE 100 00:06:31,739 --> 00:06:34,699 Oh, yes! Oh! 101 00:06:34,739 --> 00:06:36,419 Oh! Oh. 102 00:06:37,619 --> 00:06:40,299 Celine, I don't suppose you have a clean room 103 00:06:40,339 --> 00:06:42,299 ready for me, do you, dear? 104 00:06:42,339 --> 00:06:45,099 I didn't know you were coming. 105 00:06:45,139 --> 00:06:46,139 Never mind. 106 00:06:47,499 --> 00:06:49,819 You look exhausted. 107 00:06:49,859 --> 00:06:52,219 I'll clean it myself. 108 00:06:53,259 --> 00:06:58,019 And when I come back, I'll have a pint of the black stuff, son. 109 00:07:03,619 --> 00:07:05,379 How much food did you order? 110 00:07:05,419 --> 00:07:07,059 Just asked Celine to do us a packed lunch. 111 00:07:07,099 --> 00:07:08,819 We're only driving half an hour. 112 00:07:08,859 --> 00:07:11,379 Ah, I don't believe it.What? 113 00:07:12,939 --> 00:07:14,859 Food of the gods. HE CHUCKLES 114 00:07:14,899 --> 00:07:16,739 Well, yeah, we are going to Lourdes. 115 00:07:16,779 --> 00:07:19,819 Oh, Celine asked me a while back what food I missed from England, 116 00:07:19,859 --> 00:07:21,219 and this was on me list. 117 00:07:21,259 --> 00:07:22,739 She must've got some in, bless her. 118 00:07:22,779 --> 00:07:24,179 Whoa, whoa, hang on. 119 00:07:24,219 --> 00:07:26,099 Of all the things you could have said, 120 00:07:26,139 --> 00:07:28,259 pork pie with egg, top of your list? 121 00:07:28,299 --> 00:07:30,579 It's not top of my list.What's top? 122 00:07:30,619 --> 00:07:31,859 Baby's head. 123 00:07:31,899 --> 00:07:34,579 Bab...what is baby's head? 124 00:07:34,619 --> 00:07:36,379 Baby's head! 125 00:07:36,419 --> 00:07:39,579 You know, steak and kidney suet pudding. 126 00:07:39,619 --> 00:07:41,979 A Northern chip shop classic. 127 00:07:42,019 --> 00:07:45,419 So-called because... It's as smooth baby's...Baby's head! 128 00:07:45,459 --> 00:07:46,539 OK! Exactly! 129 00:07:47,859 --> 00:07:50,019 I make a cracking baby's head. 130 00:07:50,059 --> 00:07:51,979 I could give Gordon Ramsay a run for his money. 131 00:07:52,019 --> 00:07:53,899 Is that a threat or a fantasy? 132 00:07:53,939 --> 00:07:55,019 SHE CHUCKLES 133 00:07:55,059 --> 00:07:56,059 Oh. 134 00:07:59,899 --> 00:08:02,699 All right, then, prove it. 135 00:08:02,739 --> 00:08:03,779 What? 136 00:08:03,819 --> 00:08:05,539 You can cook me dinner. 137 00:08:05,579 --> 00:08:06,899 All right, then. 138 00:08:06,939 --> 00:08:09,739 I'll cook you baby's head, chips, peas... 139 00:08:09,779 --> 00:08:12,019 And gravy, you can't have baby's head without gravy. 140 00:08:12,059 --> 00:08:15,059 All right! I knew you knew! Of course I knew! 141 00:08:15,099 --> 00:08:17,019 I went in our chip shop that often they used to give me 142 00:08:17,059 --> 00:08:18,259 a free calendar at Christmas. 143 00:08:18,299 --> 00:08:20,299 SHE LAUGHS Did they now? 144 00:08:22,459 --> 00:08:23,899 Oh, I can't believe that. 145 00:09:11,339 --> 00:09:13,819 I mean, how many nuns do you need? 146 00:09:13,859 --> 00:09:16,539 Depends on what you've been up to my, child. 147 00:09:16,579 --> 00:09:19,899 It's all right, Karen. You can drop the French accent, he's with me. 148 00:09:19,939 --> 00:09:22,819 Jean! Ah!How are ya? 149 00:09:22,859 --> 00:09:24,739 I'm all right. This is Dom. 150 00:09:24,779 --> 00:09:27,579 All right, Dom. Are you a sinner? 151 00:09:27,619 --> 00:09:30,659 Uh, I've had me moments, yeah. 152 00:09:30,699 --> 00:09:33,139 Let's get that kettle on and have a ciggie. 153 00:09:33,179 --> 00:09:34,179 Come on. 154 00:09:38,899 --> 00:09:40,899 I washed all those glasses last night, 155 00:09:40,939 --> 00:09:42,819 and she just washed them all again. 156 00:09:42,859 --> 00:09:44,739 Look, I had no idea she was coming, love. 157 00:09:44,779 --> 00:09:47,739 Anyway, I know exactly why she's here. 158 00:09:47,779 --> 00:09:49,419 She just wants to cause trouble. 159 00:09:49,459 --> 00:09:53,059 You know she's been so lonely since my dad died, Celine. 160 00:09:53,099 --> 00:09:56,299 You know, they did everything together for 45 years. 161 00:09:56,339 --> 00:09:58,339 Maybe that's why she's here, 162 00:09:58,379 --> 00:09:59,979 to see her only son, 163 00:10:00,019 --> 00:10:02,259 eat with the only family she has left in the world. 164 00:10:02,299 --> 00:10:05,019 Did you ever think it could be that?I'm sorry. 165 00:10:05,059 --> 00:10:07,939 It's just... It's just you never give her a chance. 166 00:10:07,979 --> 00:10:09,579 Over here, son! 167 00:10:14,899 --> 00:10:18,259 I'll have another Guinness when you're ready, son. 168 00:10:18,299 --> 00:10:20,139 I hope you're not gambling, Ma. 169 00:10:20,179 --> 00:10:21,299 Gambling? No, no, son. 170 00:10:21,339 --> 00:10:24,739 This is just a little friendly culture exchange. 171 00:10:24,779 --> 00:10:26,619 I'm teaching them how to play cribbage, 172 00:10:26,659 --> 00:10:29,019 and they're going to teach me how to play bull. 173 00:10:29,059 --> 00:10:30,939 Can I smell a bit of bull? 174 00:10:30,979 --> 00:10:32,259 SHE LAUGHS 175 00:10:32,299 --> 00:10:35,139 He's a funny man, my son. I mean it, Ma. 176 00:10:35,179 --> 00:10:36,579 We're not licensed for gambling. 177 00:10:36,619 --> 00:10:39,539 Trust me, son, it's just a little friendly. 178 00:10:39,579 --> 00:10:42,379 OK.And if you found yourself adding a wee tot of whiskey 179 00:10:42,419 --> 00:10:46,419 as a chaser for your ole ma, she'd be very grateful. 180 00:10:50,179 --> 00:10:51,459 All right, gentlemen. 181 00:10:51,499 --> 00:10:54,699 50 euro each in the kitschy, twice round the board. 182 00:10:59,579 --> 00:11:02,059 And I told her I buy curios... 183 00:11:02,099 --> 00:11:03,419 THEY CHUCKLE 184 00:11:03,459 --> 00:11:05,939 ..and she thought I was coming on to her. 185 00:11:05,979 --> 00:11:07,099 THEY LAUGH 186 00:11:08,699 --> 00:11:10,419 So how long were you a nun for? 187 00:11:10,459 --> 00:11:12,939 Hey, I still am a nun. 188 00:11:12,979 --> 00:11:15,979 I don't wear this to keep my head warm. 189 00:11:16,019 --> 00:11:18,459 Praying and all that was all right for the first few years, 190 00:11:18,499 --> 00:11:22,459 but I needed more, you know, to keep my faith shining bright. 191 00:11:22,499 --> 00:11:24,739 So she decided to become one of the world's 192 00:11:24,779 --> 00:11:28,779 leading experts in religious art.Like you do. 193 00:11:28,819 --> 00:11:31,699 Hey, love, I heard about Rory. 194 00:11:31,739 --> 00:11:33,659 I'm really sorry. 195 00:11:33,699 --> 00:11:34,779 Thank you. 196 00:11:35,779 --> 00:11:38,699 So, to what do I owe the honour? 197 00:11:38,739 --> 00:11:39,979 Right. 198 00:11:40,019 --> 00:11:42,139 Can you shed any light? 199 00:11:42,179 --> 00:11:45,259 The Sacred Heart or the heart of Pope Pius VI? 200 00:11:45,299 --> 00:11:47,459 That box is a little bit small for a heart. 201 00:11:47,499 --> 00:11:50,139 Oh, no. It was only the remains of his heart in the box. 202 00:11:50,179 --> 00:11:52,179 Uh, mingin'. 203 00:11:52,219 --> 00:11:54,219 What was the history? 204 00:11:54,259 --> 00:11:57,139 In 1791, Pope Pius VI rejected the 205 00:11:57,179 --> 00:12:00,019 Constitution civile du clerge. 206 00:12:00,059 --> 00:12:02,859 What's that?Well, the New Republic, not the Vatican, 207 00:12:02,899 --> 00:12:05,979 were now in charge of the Catholic Church in France. 208 00:12:06,019 --> 00:12:07,499 But Pius wasn't having any of it, 209 00:12:07,539 --> 00:12:10,259 so he suspended any priest who accepted it. 210 00:12:10,299 --> 00:12:12,219 Brave.Yeah, very. 211 00:12:12,259 --> 00:12:15,339 It was only seven years later in 1798 212 00:12:15,379 --> 00:12:19,139 that the French took control of Rome and declared it the Roman Republic. 213 00:12:19,179 --> 00:12:21,339 When Pius refused to submit to the conquerors, 214 00:12:21,379 --> 00:12:23,819 they dragged him back to France. 215 00:12:23,859 --> 00:12:26,899 But he was getting on a bit, and, of course, he didn't make it. 216 00:12:26,939 --> 00:12:28,939 He croaked on the way back. 217 00:12:28,979 --> 00:12:30,139 Blimey. 218 00:12:30,179 --> 00:12:34,379 He was buried without ceremony in a non consecrated grave, 219 00:12:34,419 --> 00:12:36,539 and his heart stayed in France. 220 00:12:37,899 --> 00:12:39,579 You're very good with your dates. 221 00:12:39,619 --> 00:12:42,139 Ah, a nun with a photographic memory. 222 00:12:42,179 --> 00:12:43,739 I should be in a circus. 223 00:12:44,779 --> 00:12:48,619 So the Sacred Heart was stolen from the Church of the Virgin Mary 224 00:12:48,659 --> 00:12:50,499 in San Victoire yesterday. 225 00:12:50,539 --> 00:12:53,579 But it's priceless, spiritually and financially. 226 00:12:53,619 --> 00:12:56,299 That's exactly what I said. 227 00:12:56,339 --> 00:12:58,819 If someone was trying to get rid of it for money, 228 00:12:58,859 --> 00:13:00,419 where would they go, Karen? 229 00:13:00,459 --> 00:13:03,739 I don't even know how you would get rid of it. Mm. 230 00:13:07,139 --> 00:13:08,739 There's only one dealer I can think of 231 00:13:08,979 --> 00:13:11,219 who might chance their arm with something like this. 232 00:13:11,259 --> 00:13:12,539 Oh, who? 233 00:13:12,579 --> 00:13:14,579 Vivienne Dumonet. 234 00:13:14,619 --> 00:13:16,099 Do you know where I can find her? 235 00:13:20,899 --> 00:13:22,019 Here. 236 00:13:23,499 --> 00:13:26,619 Careful, though, love, she has quite the reputation. 237 00:13:27,699 --> 00:13:31,059 Oh. Thank you, Karen. 238 00:13:31,099 --> 00:13:32,579 Can I use your loo before I go? 239 00:13:32,619 --> 00:13:35,339 Yeah, of course you can. It's right through there. 240 00:13:42,379 --> 00:13:44,979 Come on, then. What?Who's he?! 241 00:13:45,019 --> 00:13:47,859 Dom?No, St Francis of Assisi. 242 00:13:47,899 --> 00:13:49,419 He's just a mate. 243 00:13:49,459 --> 00:13:51,459 Hm, he makes you sparkle. 244 00:13:51,499 --> 00:13:52,859 He does not. 245 00:13:54,619 --> 00:13:56,459 He is hot. 246 00:13:56,499 --> 00:13:58,499 Are nun's even supposed to say that? 247 00:13:58,539 --> 00:14:00,259 No, probably not. 248 00:14:00,299 --> 00:14:02,739 But religious art experts can. 249 00:14:02,779 --> 00:14:05,139 You are allowed a life, you know. 250 00:14:05,179 --> 00:14:07,099 SHE SIGHS 251 00:14:07,139 --> 00:14:09,139 It's too soon for me, Karen. 252 00:14:10,379 --> 00:14:12,619 He's been so lovely. 253 00:14:12,659 --> 00:14:14,779 I'm really going to miss him. 254 00:14:16,099 --> 00:14:18,379 I've not had a friend like that for a long time. 255 00:14:20,859 --> 00:14:22,259 HE CLEARS THROAT 256 00:14:31,859 --> 00:14:33,739 Aw... Yes! 257 00:14:44,779 --> 00:14:46,459 Sorry, Peter. Uh-huh. 258 00:14:48,139 --> 00:14:49,939 It's a sea of glasses out there. 259 00:14:53,779 --> 00:14:56,379 You were playing cribbage? 260 00:14:56,419 --> 00:15:00,379 Well, that's well observed by a man so young as yourself. 261 00:15:00,419 --> 00:15:01,819 Do you play? 262 00:15:03,259 --> 00:15:05,019 How much is at stake? 263 00:15:05,059 --> 00:15:06,419 SHE LAUGHS 264 00:15:07,859 --> 00:15:11,099 Well, that's very kind of you, young man, but I'll buy my own drink, 265 00:15:11,139 --> 00:15:12,139 thank you. 266 00:15:15,699 --> 00:15:19,539 Next game is 50 euro stake, twice around the board. 267 00:15:19,579 --> 00:15:21,019 Take a seat. 268 00:15:31,579 --> 00:15:33,739 WHISPERS: Don't touch anything. 269 00:15:33,779 --> 00:15:35,899 Oh, hello, um... 270 00:15:37,099 --> 00:15:40,739 A friend of mine said you might be able to help me.With? 271 00:15:40,779 --> 00:15:43,139 I'm looking for a religious item. 272 00:15:45,579 --> 00:15:48,419 You have come to the right place. 273 00:15:48,459 --> 00:15:49,899 It's very valuable. 274 00:15:51,419 --> 00:15:55,619 I deal in the finest antiques and icons, not cheap souvenirs, 275 00:15:55,659 --> 00:15:58,979 Madame, quality surrounds you. 276 00:15:59,019 --> 00:16:01,699 Hm, yes, I can see that. 277 00:16:01,739 --> 00:16:05,779 But this is, um, priceless, and it's...missing. 278 00:16:06,979 --> 00:16:09,939 You mean the Sacred Heart of Pope Pius VI, yes? 279 00:16:09,979 --> 00:16:11,219 How do you know? 280 00:16:11,259 --> 00:16:14,259 Anyone who knows the reliquaries knows. 281 00:16:14,299 --> 00:16:16,059 I only wish it had come through here. 282 00:16:16,099 --> 00:16:18,659 I could have got rid of it in five minutes. 283 00:16:18,699 --> 00:16:20,179 Oh!Oh! 284 00:16:20,219 --> 00:16:22,019 What have you done?! 285 00:16:23,179 --> 00:16:25,419 That is finest Capodimonte! 286 00:16:25,459 --> 00:16:27,379 Oh, no, it's not a Capodimonte, is it ? 287 00:16:27,419 --> 00:16:28,539 Come on. 288 00:16:28,579 --> 00:16:32,019 You owe me 1,500 euro! 289 00:16:32,059 --> 00:16:34,859 Oh, I don't think so, love. 290 00:16:34,899 --> 00:16:38,459 You and I know that's just a piece of mass-produced pottery. 291 00:16:38,499 --> 00:16:39,619 Here. 292 00:16:39,659 --> 00:16:42,739 Have ten euros for your trouble. 293 00:16:42,779 --> 00:16:44,499 Keep the change. 294 00:16:44,539 --> 00:16:45,939 What did I say? 295 00:17:03,339 --> 00:17:07,099 Seen something you like? What? 296 00:17:07,139 --> 00:17:08,219 Wait a minute. 297 00:17:10,099 --> 00:17:14,979 I saw him in the church with Father Donadieu. 298 00:17:15,019 --> 00:17:16,019 SHE GASPS SOFTLY 299 00:17:18,019 --> 00:17:19,979 Follow that car.Ah, brilliant! 300 00:17:20,019 --> 00:17:23,219 I have always wanted somebody to say that to me. 301 00:17:35,139 --> 00:17:36,459 HORN HONKS 302 00:17:59,699 --> 00:18:01,099 THEY SPEAK FRENCH SOFTLY 303 00:18:16,459 --> 00:18:18,619 They're a good looking couple, make no mistake. 304 00:18:18,659 --> 00:18:20,979 Yeah, this is true. 305 00:18:22,139 --> 00:18:23,939 Got a real sense of style, haven't they? 306 00:18:23,979 --> 00:18:27,139 What, them two? You've only just seen them. 307 00:18:27,179 --> 00:18:29,979 No, I mean the French in general. 308 00:18:32,059 --> 00:18:33,139 Yeah. 309 00:18:34,379 --> 00:18:38,179 You know, when I first came here, I tried to copy the look. 310 00:18:38,219 --> 00:18:41,139 Went to the same shops, bought the same clothes. 311 00:18:41,179 --> 00:18:42,779 Did I nail it? Nah. 312 00:18:43,819 --> 00:18:46,139 Think I've just got a very British head. 313 00:18:47,459 --> 00:18:50,339 You always look great to me. 314 00:18:50,379 --> 00:18:52,499 Oh, thanks. 315 00:18:54,379 --> 00:18:57,739 Um, I'll have a ham and cheese baguette, please. 316 00:19:00,059 --> 00:19:01,099 Yeah. 317 00:19:05,939 --> 00:19:07,939 IN FRENCH: 318 00:19:31,419 --> 00:19:32,779 Madame? 319 00:19:50,819 --> 00:19:52,979 Don't go with your mouth full. 320 00:19:53,019 --> 00:19:54,419 What's gone on there? 321 00:19:56,859 --> 00:19:59,699 I'm going to take a little look round the church. 322 00:19:59,739 --> 00:20:02,139 Lunch on me, if you'll have a look at that leaky pump 323 00:20:02,179 --> 00:20:03,979 you keep promising you'll fix. 324 00:20:04,019 --> 00:20:06,739 It's all right. I'll see you in a bit. 325 00:20:06,779 --> 00:20:08,459 HE TALKS WITH MOUTH FULL 326 00:20:14,059 --> 00:20:15,539 SHE KNOCKS 327 00:20:18,899 --> 00:20:21,659 You don't want to go down there, that's the crypt! 328 00:20:21,699 --> 00:20:23,459 No-one's been down there for years. 329 00:20:23,499 --> 00:20:25,339 Oh, sorry. 330 00:20:25,379 --> 00:20:26,459 Can I help you? 331 00:20:26,499 --> 00:20:31,019 Yes, I was come to see you and your mom, actually. 332 00:20:31,059 --> 00:20:35,259 Mama, you remember Madam White from the night of the... 333 00:20:35,299 --> 00:20:37,459 Oh, hello again. 334 00:20:37,499 --> 00:20:41,299 I just...I just wondered how you were both doing. 335 00:20:41,339 --> 00:20:42,539 We're OK. 336 00:20:42,579 --> 00:20:46,059 Of course, it has been so horrific and shocking 337 00:20:46,099 --> 00:20:48,219 that my sleep has not been good. 338 00:20:48,259 --> 00:20:51,419 He hasn't got a wink. Bless him. 339 00:20:51,459 --> 00:20:53,659 I hope you don't mind me asking, 340 00:20:53,699 --> 00:20:57,379 the gentleman that came into the church before, I recognise him. 341 00:20:57,419 --> 00:20:59,099 Oh, you mean Sacha Ruse? 342 00:20:59,139 --> 00:21:01,019 He came over to sign the papers on the field 343 00:21:01,059 --> 00:21:03,619 he has purchased from the church. 344 00:21:03,659 --> 00:21:05,379 Is he a builder?Yes, he is. 345 00:21:05,419 --> 00:21:07,939 He's been wanting to buy the field for many years. 346 00:21:07,979 --> 00:21:14,699 But Father Donadieu was not keen and kept it stringing along. 347 00:21:14,739 --> 00:21:16,859 Is that because it was consecrated? 348 00:21:16,899 --> 00:21:19,219 No, because that's the kind of tyrant he was. 349 00:21:19,259 --> 00:21:20,379 Mama, no. 350 00:21:20,419 --> 00:21:23,419 You cannot speak of the dead like that, 351 00:21:23,459 --> 00:21:25,259 especially within these walls! 352 00:21:29,699 --> 00:21:31,539 Father Donadieu was a man of faith 353 00:21:31,579 --> 00:21:33,259 in the face of his congregation. 354 00:21:33,299 --> 00:21:36,739 Behind closed doors, he was a very different man. 355 00:21:36,779 --> 00:21:38,099 It could be very difficult, 356 00:21:38,139 --> 00:21:39,979 especially with those closest to him, 357 00:21:40,019 --> 00:21:44,219 and my mother has worked for him since she was 15. 358 00:21:44,259 --> 00:21:46,379 Oh, we've all had tough bosses. 359 00:21:47,619 --> 00:21:48,819 Exactly. 360 00:22:03,419 --> 00:22:05,899 I think I know who murdered Father Donadieu. 361 00:22:05,939 --> 00:22:07,139 For sure? 362 00:22:07,179 --> 00:22:09,539 The evidence is pretty solid.OK. 363 00:22:10,739 --> 00:22:12,379 Sacha Ruse. 364 00:22:12,419 --> 00:22:15,019 Monsieur Ruse? 365 00:22:15,059 --> 00:22:17,539 Uh, are you sure? What is your evidence? 366 00:22:17,579 --> 00:22:19,419 His girlfriend is the only person around here 367 00:22:19,459 --> 00:22:21,419 who could get rid of a relic. 368 00:22:21,459 --> 00:22:23,979 Father Donadieu refused to sell him a piece of land 369 00:22:24,019 --> 00:22:26,579 that he really wanted, but just after the murder, 370 00:22:26,619 --> 00:22:29,139 he buys the same piece of land off Father Durand. 371 00:22:29,179 --> 00:22:30,499 It's got to be Sacha Ruse! 372 00:22:30,539 --> 00:22:32,699 What piece of land? Oh, it's at the back of the church. 373 00:22:32,739 --> 00:22:33,939 It's not consecrated or anything, 374 00:22:33,979 --> 00:22:35,659 but you've got to admit the timing's fast. 375 00:22:35,699 --> 00:22:38,059 No, Jean, this is all circumstantial. 376 00:22:38,099 --> 00:22:41,459 And how would he get back through a bolted door? 377 00:22:41,499 --> 00:22:45,259 Well, I don't know, Caron, but somebody is dead 378 00:22:45,299 --> 00:22:46,699 and everything is pointing to him. 379 00:22:46,739 --> 00:22:50,419 Monsieur Ruse is a very important member of the community, 380 00:22:50,459 --> 00:22:52,739 a magistrate, and incredibly charitable. 381 00:22:52,779 --> 00:22:55,819 If you are wrong, the ripple effect will be huge. 382 00:22:55,859 --> 00:22:57,859 But what if I'm right? 383 00:22:57,899 --> 00:22:59,539 Hasn't your community got a right to know 384 00:22:59,579 --> 00:23:02,339 that it's living with a murderer? 385 00:23:02,379 --> 00:23:04,579 We should at least question him. 386 00:23:20,379 --> 00:23:24,099 IN FRENCH: 387 00:23:40,299 --> 00:23:43,459 IN ENGLISH:So, you know your antiques, Jean White? 388 00:23:43,499 --> 00:23:45,299 I do. 389 00:23:45,339 --> 00:23:47,539 Can I ask you a few questions? 390 00:23:47,579 --> 00:23:49,259 All right, of course. 391 00:23:52,659 --> 00:23:56,259 It has come to my knowledge that you have recently bought 392 00:23:56,299 --> 00:23:58,459 the piece of land behind the church. 393 00:23:58,499 --> 00:23:59,659 Yes. 394 00:23:59,699 --> 00:24:02,819 And you've been trying to get your hands on that land for ages. 395 00:24:02,859 --> 00:24:04,699 Yeah, yes. 396 00:24:04,739 --> 00:24:07,819 But Father Donadieu did not want me to develop the land, 397 00:24:07,859 --> 00:24:09,659 even though it was not consecrated. 398 00:24:09,699 --> 00:24:12,379 And you're currently dating an expert 399 00:24:12,419 --> 00:24:15,019 in religious icons and antiques? 400 00:24:15,059 --> 00:24:16,419 Oui. 401 00:24:16,459 --> 00:24:20,379 And what business is that of yours? 402 00:24:20,419 --> 00:24:23,179 Monsieur Ruse, forgive my directness, 403 00:24:23,219 --> 00:24:25,339 but it is a bit of a coincidence 404 00:24:25,379 --> 00:24:27,819 that a religious relic has been stolen, 405 00:24:27,859 --> 00:24:30,499 you have a girlfriend that could get rid of it for you, 406 00:24:30,539 --> 00:24:33,219 and the only person standing in the way 407 00:24:33,259 --> 00:24:35,699 of a big development got murdered. 408 00:24:35,739 --> 00:24:36,859 HE CHUCKLES 409 00:24:37,899 --> 00:24:39,859 And you're being serious? 410 00:24:39,899 --> 00:24:42,699 The circumstantial evidence is strong, Monsieur. 411 00:24:42,739 --> 00:24:43,859 Mm-hm. 412 00:24:52,579 --> 00:24:57,659 Are you a...religious woman, Madame White? 413 00:24:57,699 --> 00:24:59,259 Um... 414 00:24:59,299 --> 00:25:03,139 ..well, I would say I was spiritual more than religious. 415 00:25:03,179 --> 00:25:05,979 Mm, but you were raised with religion? 416 00:25:06,019 --> 00:25:07,779 You grew up with it? 417 00:25:07,819 --> 00:25:09,779 Roman Catholic. 418 00:25:09,819 --> 00:25:12,099 Well, I am a committed atheist. 419 00:25:12,139 --> 00:25:13,299 HE CHUCKLES 420 00:25:15,779 --> 00:25:19,819 And, you know, one of the reasons why I am an atheist, 421 00:25:19,859 --> 00:25:23,139 when my mother was just three years old... 422 00:25:23,179 --> 00:25:27,219 ..she was ripped away from her mother by the church. 423 00:25:27,259 --> 00:25:31,619 No reason other than she was unmarried and struggling. 424 00:25:31,659 --> 00:25:35,259 Her child torn away. 425 00:25:35,299 --> 00:25:37,979 My grandmother committed suicide, 426 00:25:38,019 --> 00:25:40,779 rather than live with the grief of losing her daughter. 427 00:25:43,339 --> 00:25:45,539 And, you know, the judge did? 428 00:25:47,019 --> 00:25:50,939 They threw her into a pauper's pit. 429 00:25:50,979 --> 00:25:52,979 No burial, no grave. 430 00:25:54,219 --> 00:25:58,979 The shame my mother had to grow up with coloured her entire life. 431 00:26:03,659 --> 00:26:07,619 That is why I wanted to buy the land in the back of the church. 432 00:26:07,659 --> 00:26:14,059 That land is the very pauper's pit in which my grandmother lies. 433 00:26:16,299 --> 00:26:17,819 Oh.Oui. 434 00:26:19,019 --> 00:26:22,139 I want to turn it into a place for 435 00:26:22,179 --> 00:26:25,419 people who need help. Hm? 436 00:26:25,459 --> 00:26:27,819 A sort of sanctuary, 437 00:26:27,859 --> 00:26:29,979 in my grandmother's honour. 438 00:26:32,019 --> 00:26:34,179 But Father Donadieu was not in favour of the idea, 439 00:26:34,219 --> 00:26:36,659 as it would bring shame on the church. 440 00:26:36,699 --> 00:26:37,979 HE LAUGHS DRYLY 441 00:26:39,499 --> 00:26:43,179 Oh, and as for stealing the remains of a heart 442 00:26:43,219 --> 00:26:46,539 that might have belonged to the Pope... 443 00:26:46,579 --> 00:26:49,859 ..you will not be surprised to know that doesn't interest me at all. 444 00:26:55,819 --> 00:26:59,459 Monsieur Ruse, can I ask where you went 445 00:26:59,499 --> 00:27:01,819 after leaving the church that night? 446 00:27:01,859 --> 00:27:03,579 Mm. 447 00:27:03,619 --> 00:27:06,699 Madame Dumonet and I dined at La Salle Nuit. 448 00:27:08,779 --> 00:27:10,619 The restaurant was packed. 449 00:27:11,899 --> 00:27:14,139 Maybe you should have asked me that first. 450 00:27:20,099 --> 00:27:22,899 Please accept my sincere apologies. 451 00:27:25,459 --> 00:27:27,579 Jean, how could you do that to me?! 452 00:27:27,619 --> 00:27:29,219 I've never been so humiliated! 453 00:27:29,259 --> 00:27:31,459 The evidence was so compelling, I was sure it was him. 454 00:27:31,499 --> 00:27:33,379 I will never live this down in this village. 455 00:27:33,419 --> 00:27:35,859 I'm sorry.Not to mention my wife! Your wife? 456 00:27:35,899 --> 00:27:38,579 She is a member of the same art committee as Vivienne Dumonet. 457 00:27:38,619 --> 00:27:40,779 She will never let me live this down! 458 00:27:40,819 --> 00:27:42,659 Well, just explain to her that it was all my fault. 459 00:27:42,699 --> 00:27:45,659 You don't know my wife! Caron, you can't make me feel 460 00:27:45,699 --> 00:27:47,859 any worse than I already do. PHONE PINGS 461 00:27:49,859 --> 00:27:50,859 What's wrong? 462 00:27:52,179 --> 00:27:54,299 There has been another stabbing. 463 00:28:03,619 --> 00:28:05,219 IN FRENCH: 464 00:28:08,579 --> 00:28:10,539 IN ENGLISH: Did she say "scissors?" 465 00:28:10,579 --> 00:28:14,379 Yes, but he's a local drug dealer, so it's probably unrelated. 466 00:28:22,539 --> 00:28:24,139 Oh, it was awful. 467 00:28:24,179 --> 00:28:26,659 I don't think I'm cut out for this police stuff. 468 00:28:26,699 --> 00:28:28,259 There's so much blood. 469 00:28:29,939 --> 00:28:32,099 Happened to me once. 470 00:28:32,139 --> 00:28:35,339 What, you witnessed a murder scene? 471 00:28:35,379 --> 00:28:37,819 No, a really about shaving cut. 472 00:28:37,859 --> 00:28:40,499 There was blood all over the place, I nearly fainted. 473 00:28:43,099 --> 00:28:44,979 And Caron's still not speaking to me. 474 00:28:45,019 --> 00:28:46,219 Oh, love. 475 00:28:53,739 --> 00:28:55,499 I'll see you both later. 476 00:28:55,539 --> 00:28:56,539 See you. 477 00:28:58,299 --> 00:29:00,419 That's why I stopped shaving. 478 00:29:05,019 --> 00:29:07,739 Xav's gambling, over there! 479 00:29:10,539 --> 00:29:12,379 Oh, I'm so sorry, Glo. 480 00:29:12,419 --> 00:29:15,219 My Ma told me it was just a friendly. 481 00:29:17,259 --> 00:29:18,539 Come on, Gloria. 482 00:29:20,059 --> 00:29:22,539 What the hell do you think you are doing?! 483 00:29:22,579 --> 00:29:25,579 Mama?You could get to shut down, you stupid woman! 484 00:29:25,619 --> 00:29:28,059 Hey, there's no need for that, Celine. No, there isn't! 485 00:29:28,099 --> 00:29:30,899 And how dare you speak to me like that? 486 00:29:30,939 --> 00:29:32,619 We don't have a licence to gamble. 487 00:29:32,659 --> 00:29:34,139 Well, you should get one! 488 00:29:34,179 --> 00:29:36,819 There's a reason why we don't "get one"! 489 00:29:36,859 --> 00:29:38,459 Do you have a criminal record? 490 00:29:38,499 --> 00:29:40,459 I don't have a criminal record, 491 00:29:40,499 --> 00:29:42,899 but if you don't get out of my face, I soon will have. 492 00:29:42,939 --> 00:29:45,099 Please, everyone! 493 00:29:45,139 --> 00:29:48,259 I'm the reason why they don't have a licence. 494 00:29:48,299 --> 00:29:50,219 I'm a recovering addict. 495 00:29:50,259 --> 00:29:53,299 Well, we're not doing drugs, son. 496 00:29:53,339 --> 00:29:55,099 Besides, you won the kitschy twice. 497 00:29:55,139 --> 00:29:58,739 Not drugs, gambling. 498 00:29:58,779 --> 00:30:01,539 I'm supposed to be in recovery. 499 00:30:01,579 --> 00:30:02,859 I'm sorry, Mum. 500 00:30:04,139 --> 00:30:05,219 Can we go home now? 501 00:30:06,579 --> 00:30:08,339 Thanks Celine... 502 00:30:08,379 --> 00:30:09,699 ..for trying. 503 00:30:16,459 --> 00:30:18,979 You always have to look at the parents 504 00:30:19,019 --> 00:30:21,579 to see why the child behaves so badly. 505 00:30:23,779 --> 00:30:26,579 I think you know what you need to do. 506 00:30:29,539 --> 00:30:31,259 Take no notice, son. 507 00:30:31,299 --> 00:30:34,099 This whole PC thing has got way out of hand. 508 00:30:37,019 --> 00:30:38,739 You should've seen his face, Dom. 509 00:30:38,779 --> 00:30:40,979 I've never seen anyone so upset, 510 00:30:41,019 --> 00:30:42,499 especially someone like Caron. 511 00:30:42,539 --> 00:30:44,739 I feel awful. 512 00:30:44,779 --> 00:30:45,979 SHE SIGHS 513 00:30:46,019 --> 00:30:47,859 And he mentioned his wife? 514 00:30:47,899 --> 00:30:49,699 Yeah. 515 00:30:49,739 --> 00:30:52,899 It's the first time he's mentioned her to me, thinking about it. 516 00:30:52,939 --> 00:30:54,219 Well, that'll be it, then. 517 00:30:54,259 --> 00:30:55,859 What do you mean?Uh... 518 00:30:57,179 --> 00:30:58,859 How do I put it? 519 00:30:58,899 --> 00:31:01,859 Have you ever seen Caron out of uniform? 520 00:31:01,899 --> 00:31:05,099 Ever seen him relax or have dinner? 521 00:31:05,139 --> 00:31:06,739 Weirdly, no.No. 522 00:31:06,779 --> 00:31:09,979 He hates to go home, he just stays at work. 523 00:31:10,019 --> 00:31:12,739 Because of his wife?Yeah. 524 00:31:12,779 --> 00:31:14,019 A few times he mentioned it to me, 525 00:31:14,059 --> 00:31:17,259 he just said he and his wife do not get on. Oh. 526 00:31:17,299 --> 00:31:19,099 I mean, the only time I saw them together, 527 00:31:19,139 --> 00:31:22,299 they were sniping all night, it was exhausting. 528 00:31:22,339 --> 00:31:23,939 Why don't they just split up? 529 00:31:23,979 --> 00:31:25,099 Who knows? 530 00:31:25,139 --> 00:31:28,859 I just know that that kind of thing would drive me insane. 531 00:31:28,899 --> 00:31:32,939 Gosh, even so, he's such a lovely man. 532 00:31:32,979 --> 00:31:35,339 I wish I could make it up to him. 533 00:31:35,379 --> 00:31:36,579 BELL RINGS 534 00:31:38,419 --> 00:31:41,779 You fancy a prayer service?Really? 535 00:31:41,819 --> 00:31:43,219 Oh, come on, please. 536 00:31:43,259 --> 00:31:45,379 Just...just give me one more look. 537 00:31:45,419 --> 00:31:47,579 A prayer service? I don't know what to do, all the... 538 00:31:47,619 --> 00:31:50,179 Just do what I do. Come on, it'll be fine. 539 00:31:52,499 --> 00:31:54,899 PRIEST SPEAKS FRENCH 540 00:32:14,499 --> 00:32:15,899 THEY SING IN FRENCH 541 00:32:15,939 --> 00:32:17,899 OFF TEMPO SINGING 542 00:32:20,059 --> 00:32:22,259 PRIEST CONTINUES IN FRENCH 543 00:32:36,899 --> 00:32:38,659 THINKING: Different curtains. 544 00:32:51,339 --> 00:32:52,579 WHISPERS: Mother and son. 545 00:32:54,859 --> 00:32:55,979 Uh! 546 00:32:56,019 --> 00:32:59,059 WHISPERS:What?! Dom, stay in your seat after the service. 547 00:32:59,099 --> 00:33:01,059 What? It's bad enough being here in the first place, 548 00:33:01,099 --> 00:33:02,819 never mind staying longer than we have to. 549 00:33:02,859 --> 00:33:04,259 Please, Dom? 550 00:33:04,299 --> 00:33:05,539 All right. All right. 551 00:33:05,579 --> 00:33:07,339 Oof, you got me skin then. Sorry. 552 00:33:09,019 --> 00:33:10,179 PRIEST SPEAKS FRENCH 553 00:33:11,779 --> 00:33:14,139 BELL RINGS 554 00:33:21,219 --> 00:33:24,339 Oh, that was a lovely service, father. 555 00:33:24,379 --> 00:33:26,819 Thank you. You must be very proud of your son. 556 00:33:26,859 --> 00:33:30,419 I am, especially since he gets to lead the service. 557 00:33:30,459 --> 00:33:34,099 Oh, did Father Donadieu not let you lead the service? 558 00:33:34,139 --> 00:33:39,979 Never. Father Donadieu was, shall we say, a little bit possessive. 559 00:33:40,019 --> 00:33:44,219 Oh, Monsieur Ruse said that Father Donadieu was also very possessive 560 00:33:44,259 --> 00:33:46,779 about the land at the back of the church. 561 00:33:46,819 --> 00:33:49,739 Father Donadieu said it was the property of the church, 562 00:33:49,779 --> 00:33:53,619 but I thought selling the land could create something for the community. 563 00:33:53,659 --> 00:33:55,179 Oh. 564 00:33:55,219 --> 00:33:59,579 So it's quite useful that, um, Father Donadieu 565 00:33:59,619 --> 00:34:01,419 is not here any more. 566 00:34:03,619 --> 00:34:05,619 What are you insinuating? 567 00:34:05,659 --> 00:34:10,019 Just that life's a little bit better for everyone. 568 00:34:10,059 --> 00:34:13,179 Are you accusing me of murder in God's house? 569 00:34:13,219 --> 00:34:14,219 No, Father. 570 00:34:15,859 --> 00:34:16,979 Not you. 571 00:34:21,819 --> 00:34:24,419 Madame White, how dare you?! 572 00:34:26,459 --> 00:34:28,699 When I first came into the church 573 00:34:28,739 --> 00:34:31,659 after Father Donadieu had been murdered, 574 00:34:31,699 --> 00:34:36,299 I couldn't see why the confessional box seemed strange. 575 00:34:36,339 --> 00:34:39,379 But tonight, I worked it out. 576 00:34:41,219 --> 00:34:44,739 It's out of place, only slightly. 577 00:34:44,779 --> 00:34:48,059 But it's not quite where it should be. 578 00:34:48,099 --> 00:34:50,259 Would you like to tell us why, Paulette? 579 00:34:50,299 --> 00:34:51,979 I don't know what you're talking about. 580 00:34:52,019 --> 00:34:54,419 Should I refresh your memory? 581 00:34:54,459 --> 00:34:57,059 This is absolute nonsense. 582 00:34:57,099 --> 00:34:59,739 Had a little bit of help, didn't you? 583 00:35:01,259 --> 00:35:02,739 This is how I see it. 584 00:35:04,739 --> 00:35:08,699 As we left the church that night, your drug dealer friends 585 00:35:08,739 --> 00:35:11,939 sneaked off and hid in the confessional box. 586 00:35:15,059 --> 00:35:17,859 As Father Donadieu came back into the church, 587 00:35:17,899 --> 00:35:20,459 your young friend came out of the box 588 00:35:20,499 --> 00:35:23,619 and stabbed him in the back with a crucifix... 589 00:35:25,819 --> 00:35:27,499 ..and quickly returned, 590 00:35:27,539 --> 00:35:29,659 picking up the relic on the way. 591 00:35:32,259 --> 00:35:36,619 You then sent Durand for help to the pub across the square. 592 00:35:36,659 --> 00:35:41,299 And while he was gone, you both slid the confessional box across, 593 00:35:41,339 --> 00:35:44,099 revealing a secret door? 594 00:35:44,139 --> 00:35:47,059 Which I assume leads to the crypt. 595 00:35:48,539 --> 00:35:50,379 After he made his escape, 596 00:35:50,419 --> 00:35:54,259 you tried to put the confessional box back into the right place. 597 00:35:54,299 --> 00:35:57,499 But, well, in your efforts, 598 00:35:57,539 --> 00:36:01,179 you left a tilted station of the cross. 599 00:36:01,219 --> 00:36:03,739 Can you give me a hand?Yeah. 600 00:36:29,139 --> 00:36:30,979 Only a girl who's worked here all her life 601 00:36:31,019 --> 00:36:33,299 would know where a secret door was. 602 00:36:36,659 --> 00:36:37,979 I'm sorry. 603 00:36:39,539 --> 00:36:41,859 I'm so sorry, my darling. HE INHALES SHARPLY 604 00:36:45,099 --> 00:36:46,179 How did you know? 605 00:36:46,219 --> 00:36:48,979 I saw you going in the crypt door one morning. 606 00:36:50,099 --> 00:36:54,299 I assumed it was the side door until I came to visit you. 607 00:36:55,539 --> 00:36:58,139 I'd been at the receiving end of that monster's wrath 608 00:36:58,179 --> 00:37:00,419 most of my working life. 609 00:37:00,459 --> 00:37:04,699 I was determined my son wouldn't go through the same. 610 00:37:04,739 --> 00:37:06,659 I dreamt about murdering him, 611 00:37:06,699 --> 00:37:08,979 what silencing him would sound like. 612 00:37:09,019 --> 00:37:11,259 But you murdered twice, didn't you? 613 00:37:11,299 --> 00:37:13,259 What?The boy! 614 00:37:13,299 --> 00:37:16,179 What boy? Come on, the boy, Paulette. 615 00:37:17,699 --> 00:37:19,459 He was killed with shears! 616 00:37:20,659 --> 00:37:22,819 Your sewing shears! 617 00:37:28,739 --> 00:37:30,379 He was blackmailing me. 618 00:37:32,379 --> 00:37:35,859 I paid him well, he wanted more. 619 00:37:35,899 --> 00:37:37,539 I spent all my savings. 620 00:37:44,979 --> 00:37:48,339 So, what happened to the Sacred Heart? 621 00:37:48,379 --> 00:37:53,219 Oh, well, that was used just for a motive for murder. 622 00:37:55,699 --> 00:37:58,779 Never left, did it, Paulette? 623 00:37:58,819 --> 00:38:01,899 you would never sell a holy relic, 624 00:38:01,939 --> 00:38:05,579 good Catholic girl like you. 625 00:38:07,419 --> 00:38:10,539 No, you made new curtains to hide it. 626 00:38:15,379 --> 00:38:16,539 Mama? 627 00:38:18,379 --> 00:38:19,499 How... 628 00:38:21,739 --> 00:38:25,139 The curtains on the leaflet are a different colour. 629 00:38:25,179 --> 00:38:26,699 And when I was in the vestry, 630 00:38:26,739 --> 00:38:30,579 I noticed the thread in your sewing machine was crimson. 631 00:38:36,899 --> 00:38:38,499 CARON:I got your text. 632 00:38:38,539 --> 00:38:39,939 This better be good, Jean. 633 00:38:42,659 --> 00:38:44,459 Let's give them a minute. 634 00:38:54,099 --> 00:38:55,939 SOFT MUSIC PLAYS 635 00:39:38,099 --> 00:39:41,019 So, you still going to cook me baby's head, then? 636 00:39:41,059 --> 00:39:42,979 I'm not one to renege on a promise. 637 00:39:43,019 --> 00:39:44,819 I don't want tinned peas, mind. 638 00:39:44,859 --> 00:39:46,339 I want them soaked overnight. 639 00:39:46,379 --> 00:39:49,459 Oh, do you now?In a hairnet. 640 00:39:49,499 --> 00:39:52,979 A hairnet?Yeah. Like me gran used to do. 641 00:39:53,019 --> 00:39:56,419 Do I look like the kind of woman who wears a hair net? 642 00:39:56,459 --> 00:39:59,499 I refuse to answer that question on the grounds of fear. 643 00:39:59,539 --> 00:40:01,299 SHE CHUCKLES 644 00:40:01,339 --> 00:40:03,899 Just turn up at mine at seven o'clock. 645 00:40:03,939 --> 00:40:06,459 Would it excite you if I told you 646 00:40:06,499 --> 00:40:10,699 that I've got a couple of bottles of Dandelion and Burdock to bring over. 647 00:40:10,739 --> 00:40:15,019 Now that excites me more than you could possibly imagine. 648 00:40:15,059 --> 00:40:18,019 Hiya, Love. Hello, love. 649 00:40:18,059 --> 00:40:21,139 How's Xav?I've just come back from one of his meetings. 650 00:40:21,179 --> 00:40:23,059 You're such a lovely mum. 651 00:40:25,099 --> 00:40:28,099 Oh, Celine, I'm so sorry for kicking off yesterday. 652 00:40:28,139 --> 00:40:31,139 Oh, kicking off? You were positively graceful. 653 00:40:31,179 --> 00:40:33,859 You have absolutely nothing to apologise for. 654 00:40:33,899 --> 00:40:36,539 We promised you that there would be no gambling in here. 655 00:40:36,579 --> 00:40:38,739 It's us who should be apologising to you. 656 00:40:38,779 --> 00:40:39,899 Wasn't your fault. 657 00:40:39,939 --> 00:40:44,819 Maybe not, but it was the fault of her. 658 00:40:44,859 --> 00:40:46,099 SHE SIGHS 659 00:40:46,139 --> 00:40:49,619 I know she's my mother-in-law, but I cannot stand her. 660 00:40:49,659 --> 00:40:52,379 This one actually told me that I couldn't possibly be 661 00:40:52,419 --> 00:40:55,299 a real woman because I hadn't had a child. 662 00:40:55,339 --> 00:40:56,379 THEY GASP 663 00:40:56,419 --> 00:40:58,779 I can't believe the outright cheek of her! 664 00:40:58,819 --> 00:41:00,739 I told her I didn't want her here, 665 00:41:00,779 --> 00:41:04,979 straight away, but she just ignores me. 666 00:41:05,019 --> 00:41:06,419 How about Niall? 667 00:41:06,459 --> 00:41:07,579 Him?! 668 00:41:09,339 --> 00:41:12,859 He resorts to being a 12-year-old boy. Bless him. 669 00:41:12,899 --> 00:41:15,179 She smothers him as a mother, 670 00:41:15,219 --> 00:41:18,539 and she guilt trips him on religion. 671 00:41:18,579 --> 00:41:20,259 Ugh, for a few hours off... 672 00:41:22,419 --> 00:41:26,019 There she is, a child of God! 673 00:41:26,059 --> 00:41:27,699 How was your trip to Lourdes? 674 00:41:27,739 --> 00:41:30,339 Oh, um, great, great. 675 00:41:50,899 --> 00:41:54,539 Sister, I got your message, what's so urgent?! 676 00:41:54,579 --> 00:41:57,939 Jean, there's something I have to tell you, 677 00:41:57,979 --> 00:42:00,579 and it just couldn't wait. 678 00:42:00,619 --> 00:42:04,059 I must ask you all for your complete confidentiality. 679 00:42:04,099 --> 00:42:07,059 What I'm about to say might just change the world. 680 00:42:07,099 --> 00:42:09,339 Of course. Yeah, yeah. 681 00:42:09,379 --> 00:42:11,219 At seven o'clock last night, 682 00:42:11,259 --> 00:42:14,259 Sister Bernadette saw the face of our lady 683 00:42:14,299 --> 00:42:17,299 in a croque monsieur in a cafe in Lourdes. 684 00:42:17,339 --> 00:42:19,619 Now, please, don't mention this to anyone. 685 00:42:19,659 --> 00:42:21,659 But there is every chance that the croque monsieur 686 00:42:21,699 --> 00:42:23,619 will cry at any minute, 687 00:42:23,659 --> 00:42:27,019 and the Cafe de Royal will become a place of pilgrimage. 688 00:42:30,419 --> 00:42:31,739 THEY LAUGH 689 00:42:37,019 --> 00:42:39,579 Remember, son, you're the man of the house. 690 00:42:39,619 --> 00:42:43,059 Don't go letting her walk all over you. 691 00:42:43,099 --> 00:42:45,099 She's a beautiful woman, Ma. 692 00:42:46,099 --> 00:42:47,619 Maybe to you. 693 00:42:47,659 --> 00:42:49,539 Here, take care of yourself. 694 00:42:49,579 --> 00:42:50,699 See you soon. 695 00:42:54,499 --> 00:42:57,019 And get that gambling license sorted! 696 00:43:04,979 --> 00:43:08,299 And I told her I buy curios, 697 00:43:08,339 --> 00:43:11,259 and she thought I was coming on to her! 698 00:43:11,299 --> 00:43:12,699 THEY LAUGH 699 00:43:14,019 --> 00:43:16,139 I don't know how to thank you. 700 00:43:17,179 --> 00:43:20,299 You can start with another Rum and Black. 701 00:43:20,339 --> 00:43:22,299 PHONE RINGS Oh, excuse me. 702 00:43:25,499 --> 00:43:26,499 Hi, Barbara. 703 00:43:28,499 --> 00:43:30,699 Cash buyer? 704 00:43:30,739 --> 00:43:35,219 Oh, so, when can they view again? 705 00:43:35,259 --> 00:43:37,219 Tomorrow? 706 00:43:37,259 --> 00:43:40,059 Oh, Barbara, that's...that's great. 707 00:43:41,659 --> 00:43:44,139 Third time lucky, eh? 708 00:43:44,179 --> 00:43:46,859 Yeah, bye. 709 00:43:46,899 --> 00:43:48,899 Cash buyer, that's brilliant news. 710 00:43:48,939 --> 00:43:52,499 The sooner I sell that cottage, the sooner I'm on my way home. 711 00:43:52,539 --> 00:43:54,699 Celine, fill me up. We're all celebrating. 712 00:43:54,739 --> 00:43:56,659 Oh, OK! Hey, hey! 713 00:43:56,699 --> 00:43:58,459 Cheers! Cheers! 714 00:44:45,419 --> 00:44:47,339 Subtitles by Red Bee Media 70325

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