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1
00:00:05,273 --> 00:00:06,713
So?
(whispers): No.
2
00:00:06,740 --> 00:00:08,510
No. You-You were in.
3
00:00:08,542 --> 00:00:10,212
I said, "Have you met Ted"
and everything.
4
00:00:10,244 --> 00:00:11,884
How could that not work?
I don't know,
5
00:00:11,912 --> 00:00:13,812
we introduced ourselves,
I bought her a drink,
6
00:00:13,847 --> 00:00:15,077
told her I loved her...
7
00:00:15,116 --> 00:00:16,746
What?
I'm kidding.
8
00:00:16,784 --> 00:00:18,724
Hold on, Roxanne.
9
00:00:18,752 --> 00:00:21,322
You played "Have You Met Ted"
without me?
10
00:00:21,355 --> 00:00:23,655
In m bar with my Ted?
11
00:00:23,691 --> 00:00:27,931
Maybe stealing a bro's wingman
is okay back in...
12
00:00:27,961 --> 00:00:31,371
I'm sorry, what's the name of
this third world banana republic
13
00:00:31,399 --> 00:00:32,929
you claim to be from?
14
00:00:32,966 --> 00:00:35,566
Canada.
15
00:00:35,603 --> 00:00:38,043
I have literally
never heard of that place.
16
00:00:38,072 --> 00:00:39,672
When'd you move
here, anyway?
17
00:00:39,707 --> 00:00:40,707
Two months ago.
18
00:00:40,741 --> 00:00:41,881
How do you like it?
Honestly,
19
00:00:41,909 --> 00:00:43,509
it-it's been
a little tough.
20
00:00:43,544 --> 00:00:46,514
I moved here for this on-air
reporter job at Metro News 1
21
00:00:46,547 --> 00:00:48,347
thinking it was gonna
be my big break,
22
00:00:48,382 --> 00:00:49,422
only to find out
23
00:00:49,450 --> 00:00:51,050
that our viewership
mostly consists
24
00:00:51,085 --> 00:00:52,285
of DMV waiting rooms
25
00:00:52,320 --> 00:00:54,420
and people plugging in their
TV for the first time.
26
00:00:54,455 --> 00:00:55,455
(chuckles)
27
00:00:55,489 --> 00:00:58,059
To top it all off,
I have no friends.
28
00:00:59,059 --> 00:01:01,599
Um... wrong.
29
00:01:01,629 --> 00:01:02,959
You have four friends
right here.
30
00:01:02,996 --> 00:01:05,096
Right, guys?
Uh, yeah.
31
00:01:05,133 --> 00:01:06,933
You're totally in our gang,
now. And once you're in,
32
00:01:06,967 --> 00:01:08,297
you're in for life, right?
33
00:01:08,336 --> 00:01:10,036
She's in.
Oh.
All right.
34
00:01:10,070 --> 00:01:11,770
She's in.
Welcome.
35
00:01:11,805 --> 00:01:13,735
Well, if I'm in, I should
get the next round.
36
00:01:13,774 --> 00:01:15,244
Whoa, whoa,
Ooh,
37
00:01:15,276 --> 00:01:16,736
I like this girl.
ho, ho.
38
00:01:17,945 --> 00:01:20,375
I'm serious, I
like this girl.
39
00:01:20,414 --> 00:01:22,324
So here's the deal
with the deal.
40
00:01:22,350 --> 00:01:23,750
Robin's my new
best friend--
41
00:01:23,784 --> 00:01:25,224
nobody bangs her.
42
00:01:25,253 --> 00:01:26,323
Hey, hey,
43
00:01:26,354 --> 00:01:27,664
hey, she only rejected me
44
00:01:27,688 --> 00:01:29,788
three times,
she's still very much in play.
45
00:01:29,823 --> 00:01:31,663
I'm serious.
46
00:01:31,692 --> 00:01:35,262
There's only one way I'd let
either of you have sex with her.
47
00:01:35,296 --> 00:01:37,996
(gasps)
Not that. It's never that.
48
00:01:39,099 --> 00:01:40,229
I really want this girl
49
00:01:40,268 --> 00:01:41,838
to stay a part
of our lives.
50
00:01:41,869 --> 00:01:45,309
So the only way you're allowed
to hook up with her...
51
00:01:45,339 --> 00:01:47,909
is if you marry her.
52
00:01:47,941 --> 00:01:50,181
Too rich for my blood.
53
00:01:51,945 --> 00:01:53,675
TED:
That son of a bitch did it.
54
00:01:53,714 --> 00:01:55,954
He really did.
55
00:01:55,983 --> 00:01:58,093
So you're moving
to Chicago tomorrow, huh?
56
00:01:58,118 --> 00:02:00,088
How do you feel?
57
00:02:00,120 --> 00:02:01,990
Uh, I'm looking forward to it.
58
00:02:02,022 --> 00:02:03,462
The job's amazing.
59
00:02:03,491 --> 00:02:04,961
I got a great apartment
lined up.
60
00:02:04,992 --> 00:02:07,162
You know, it's...
61
00:02:07,195 --> 00:02:08,955
It's exciting.
62
00:02:08,996 --> 00:02:10,996
Onwards and upwar...
63
00:02:11,031 --> 00:02:13,031
*
64
00:02:34,588 --> 00:02:35,988
*
65
00:02:36,023 --> 00:02:39,633
BARNEY:
Hey! Bass player.
66
00:02:39,660 --> 00:02:42,330
It's me. The guy from
the drug store with the diapers
67
00:02:42,363 --> 00:02:43,963
that hit on you,
then we went outside
68
00:02:43,997 --> 00:02:46,367
and had a deep, emotional
talk on a bus bench.
69
00:02:46,400 --> 00:02:48,340
Remember when you
70
00:02:48,369 --> 00:02:49,639
told me to stop
messing around
71
00:02:49,670 --> 00:02:50,800
and go get the girl?
72
00:02:50,838 --> 00:02:53,508
Well, check it. I got her.
73
00:02:53,541 --> 00:02:55,311
(chuckles)
74
00:02:55,343 --> 00:02:57,953
What about you?
You still dating that guy?
75
00:03:06,019 --> 00:03:07,859
Grape Scotch!
76
00:03:07,888 --> 00:03:10,058
Ted, Ted, Ted, Ted.
77
00:03:10,090 --> 00:03:11,530
Right here,
right here,
Yeah,
78
00:03:11,559 --> 00:03:12,989
I-I see you, Barney.
right here,
right here.
79
00:03:13,026 --> 00:03:14,496
Good, great. Then it's
time to play a little game
80
00:03:14,528 --> 00:03:15,698
I like to call Have...
Yeah,
81
00:03:15,729 --> 00:03:17,599
Barney, I...
No, no.
82
00:03:17,631 --> 00:03:19,601
You are not getting out
of Have You Met Ted.
83
00:03:19,633 --> 00:03:20,903
There's a girl
that you have to meet.
84
00:03:20,934 --> 00:03:23,244
She is perfect for you.
And has...
85
00:03:23,271 --> 00:03:24,771
she met you?
No, she has... not.
86
00:03:24,805 --> 00:03:27,005
Think of all the sex
you're gonna ha..
87
00:03:27,040 --> 00:03:28,210
Barney.
88
00:03:29,410 --> 00:03:30,910
I ha... I have to go.
89
00:03:30,944 --> 00:03:32,754
What, now?
90
00:03:35,115 --> 00:03:36,645
Yeah.
91
00:03:37,718 --> 00:03:39,188
Y...
92
00:03:39,219 --> 00:03:41,489
W-We have to do this outside.
93
00:03:47,661 --> 00:03:49,061
Robin.
94
00:03:50,130 --> 00:03:51,930
It's been a major pleasure.
95
00:03:51,965 --> 00:03:54,195
Major Pleasure.
Major Pleasure.
96
00:03:54,234 --> 00:03:56,244
(chuckles)
Come here.
97
00:03:59,273 --> 00:04:00,773
(whispers):
Congratulations.
98
00:04:00,808 --> 00:04:02,338
(whispers):
Thank you.
99
00:04:08,482 --> 00:04:11,622
Oh, God, no, this is too real.
100
00:04:11,652 --> 00:04:14,792
I can't handle this,
Marshall's next.
101
00:04:14,822 --> 00:04:16,792
Marshall.
102
00:04:18,792 --> 00:04:21,462
Good luck out there
in Chicago.
103
00:04:21,495 --> 00:04:23,795
I'm gonna be kind of jealous
of you, getting to have
104
00:04:23,831 --> 00:04:26,301
Gazzola's pizza
whenever you want.
105
00:04:26,334 --> 00:04:27,604
You're gonna be in Rome.
106
00:04:27,635 --> 00:04:30,365
Yeah. I guess.
107
00:04:36,844 --> 00:04:37,954
I just...
108
00:04:37,978 --> 00:04:41,178
I feel like a hug isn't enough.
109
00:04:41,214 --> 00:04:42,984
E.T. good-bye?
110
00:04:46,820 --> 00:04:50,620
(imitating E.T.):
I'll be right...
111
00:04:50,658 --> 00:04:53,458
here.
112
00:04:53,494 --> 00:04:55,634
Okay, it helped,
but that was really creepy.
113
00:04:55,663 --> 00:04:57,673
I don't want to
see you for awhile.
(laughs)
114
00:05:00,000 --> 00:05:02,070
Barney.
115
00:05:03,337 --> 00:05:05,337
Mm.
116
00:05:07,375 --> 00:05:08,875
We licked the Liberty Bell.
117
00:05:08,909 --> 00:05:10,309
We did?
118
00:05:10,344 --> 00:05:11,984
Yeah, you...
119
00:05:12,012 --> 00:05:13,482
You don't remember that?
120
00:05:13,514 --> 00:05:15,884
Uh, I've done
a lot of cool stuff, Ted.
121
00:05:17,250 --> 00:05:19,820
Oh, my God.
122
00:05:19,853 --> 00:05:21,693
I just... I just realized:
123
00:05:21,722 --> 00:05:23,292
Who am I gonna high five now?
124
00:05:23,323 --> 00:05:25,533
(laughs) Come on, dude.
No, no,
125
00:05:25,559 --> 00:05:27,629
I'm being serious.
What if I see...
126
00:05:27,661 --> 00:05:30,301
a pack of lions
fighting a tyrannosaurus?
127
00:05:30,330 --> 00:05:31,800
Or, better yet,
128
00:05:31,832 --> 00:05:33,632
what if I see boobs?
129
00:05:33,667 --> 00:05:35,297
Who am I...
who am I gonna high five then?
130
00:05:35,335 --> 00:05:36,365
You can high
five Marshall.
131
00:05:36,404 --> 00:05:37,844
Yeah, yeah. But Marshall
132
00:05:37,871 --> 00:05:39,871
only likes to high five
about Lily boobs.
133
00:05:39,907 --> 00:05:41,807
Oh, always.
134
00:05:41,842 --> 00:05:44,042
Okay, Barney.
135
00:05:44,077 --> 00:05:45,907
I have an idea.
136
00:05:45,946 --> 00:05:47,876
One last high five.
137
00:05:47,915 --> 00:05:51,685
A high five to echo
throughout eternity.
138
00:05:51,719 --> 00:05:53,249
Yes.
139
00:05:53,286 --> 00:05:54,816
And within
that high five will be
140
00:05:54,855 --> 00:05:57,015
all the high fives
we've ever high fived.
141
00:05:57,057 --> 00:06:00,157
And all the high fives we
could ever possibly high five.
142
00:06:00,193 --> 00:06:02,103
A high infinity.
143
00:06:02,129 --> 00:06:03,659
A high infinity, exactly.
144
00:06:03,697 --> 00:06:04,767
Let's do this.
145
00:06:04,798 --> 00:06:06,228
All right,
everybody back up.
146
00:06:06,266 --> 00:06:08,266
Oh, boy.
147
00:06:11,539 --> 00:06:13,609
I'll see you
on the other side, Ray.
148
00:06:14,808 --> 00:06:16,778
Nice working with you,
Dr. Venkman.
149
00:06:17,811 --> 00:06:20,051
(Ted and Barney growling)
150
00:06:20,080 --> 00:06:21,820
TED and BARNEY:
Aah!
151
00:06:22,883 --> 00:06:25,123
(slap)
Ow!
Ow!
152
00:06:25,152 --> 00:06:27,352
Oh.
Oh.
Oh!
153
00:06:27,387 --> 00:06:28,557
Worth it.
154
00:06:28,589 --> 00:06:30,589
So worth it.
(short laugh)
155
00:06:31,825 --> 00:06:33,855
So I rushed out
to make the train,
156
00:06:33,894 --> 00:06:35,534
which is now 45 minutes late.
157
00:06:35,563 --> 00:06:37,973
This lady
with the bass guitar--
158
00:06:37,998 --> 00:06:39,428
was she pretty?
159
00:06:41,334 --> 00:06:43,104
*
160
00:06:43,136 --> 00:06:44,766
Yeah.
161
00:06:44,805 --> 00:06:45,905
She was beautiful.
162
00:06:45,939 --> 00:06:47,439
Go back and meet her.
163
00:06:47,475 --> 00:06:48,905
No.
164
00:06:48,942 --> 00:06:50,442
But what if it was destiny?
165
00:06:50,478 --> 00:06:53,608
Lady, it's been
a really long weekend.
166
00:06:53,647 --> 00:06:56,547
I'm moving to Chicago tomorrow.
167
00:06:56,584 --> 00:06:58,554
I can't really
talk destiny right now.
168
00:06:58,586 --> 00:07:00,516
Okay.
169
00:07:08,796 --> 00:07:09,996
Yes?
170
00:07:10,030 --> 00:07:14,670
What if the universe
sent you a gigantic sign
171
00:07:14,702 --> 00:07:17,812
that this woman
was your destiny?
172
00:07:17,838 --> 00:07:19,268
Then would you talk to her?
173
00:07:21,108 --> 00:07:23,738
Yeah, sure. I mean,
I-I guess I would have to.
174
00:07:23,777 --> 00:07:24,747
Okay.
175
00:07:24,778 --> 00:07:26,748
Okay.
176
00:07:26,780 --> 00:07:28,180
Where is that train?
177
00:07:28,215 --> 00:07:30,845
Can I ask one more question?
178
00:07:30,884 --> 00:07:32,194
What?
179
00:07:32,219 --> 00:07:34,819
This girl with the bass guitar--
180
00:07:34,855 --> 00:07:36,385
is that her?
181
00:07:43,731 --> 00:07:45,471
That is her, isn't it?
182
00:07:45,499 --> 00:07:47,839
(whoops)
This is so exciting.
183
00:07:47,868 --> 00:07:49,298
G-Go talk to her.
184
00:07:49,336 --> 00:07:51,666
(whispers):
All right. Just be cool,
lady. Damn.
185
00:07:51,705 --> 00:07:53,365
Why are you still
sitting here?
186
00:07:53,406 --> 00:07:56,976
Because I'm moving to
Chicago tomorrow, remember?
187
00:07:57,010 --> 00:07:58,710
And 24 hours
from now,
188
00:07:58,746 --> 00:08:02,276
my life is gonna be
completely different.
189
00:08:02,315 --> 00:08:05,115
MARSHALL: This is so strange,
you know, now that Ted's
190
00:08:05,152 --> 00:08:09,122
gone, it's just a...
a different vibe.
191
00:08:09,156 --> 00:08:12,626
You can just f-feel
his absence.
192
00:08:12,660 --> 00:08:14,330
Are you kidding me?!
193
00:08:14,361 --> 00:08:15,461
Oh, hey.
194
00:08:15,495 --> 00:08:16,795
What are you doing
in New York?
195
00:08:16,830 --> 00:08:18,330
Aren't you
supposed to be in Chicago?
196
00:08:18,365 --> 00:08:19,965
No... Oh.
197
00:08:20,000 --> 00:08:21,540
Yeah, I'm not doing that.
198
00:08:21,569 --> 00:08:22,869
What?
What?
199
00:08:22,903 --> 00:08:26,473
I'm not moving
to Chicago.
Why?
200
00:08:26,506 --> 00:08:27,976
I met a girl.
You...
201
00:08:28,008 --> 00:08:29,408
son of a bitch!
202
00:08:29,442 --> 00:08:31,142
What is the matter with you?
203
00:08:31,178 --> 00:08:32,548
How could you put us
through that?
204
00:08:32,580 --> 00:08:35,480
That good-bye was
emotionally devastating.
205
00:08:35,515 --> 00:08:38,385
A certain delicate flower
cried all night in the shower.
206
00:08:38,418 --> 00:08:40,218
And I was pretty
bummed, too.
207
00:08:40,253 --> 00:08:41,253
And now you're
208
00:08:41,288 --> 00:08:42,818
staying because of some girl?
209
00:08:42,856 --> 00:08:44,926
I mean, who is
this person?
210
00:08:44,958 --> 00:08:46,758
The bass player
from the wedding band.
211
00:08:46,794 --> 00:08:48,234
Oh, yeah, she's great.
(gasps)
212
00:08:48,261 --> 00:08:49,331
Love her.
Right,
213
00:08:49,362 --> 00:08:50,832
right?
214
00:08:50,864 --> 00:08:53,204
What are you...
What are you doing?
Calling her.
215
00:08:53,233 --> 00:08:55,773
Don't do this.
Don't call her the next day.
216
00:08:55,803 --> 00:08:56,943
You're blowing this.
Huh?
217
00:08:56,970 --> 00:08:59,240
Three days.
You wait three days, Ted.
218
00:08:59,272 --> 00:09:02,842
H-Hey, it's Ted. Hi. Um,
219
00:09:02,876 --> 00:09:05,546
listen, do you ... do you want
to have dinner tomorrow night?
220
00:09:05,579 --> 00:09:07,009
Great.
221
00:09:07,047 --> 00:09:08,717
It was clear I meant
with me, right?
222
00:09:09,817 --> 00:09:12,147
Same answer. Solid.
223
00:09:13,587 --> 00:09:15,557
MARSHALL:
Why does he keep
doing this?
224
00:09:15,589 --> 00:09:18,429
He meets 'em,
he likes 'em way too much,
225
00:09:18,458 --> 00:09:21,558
he goes way too big, too soon,
and he ends up blowing it.
226
00:09:21,595 --> 00:09:23,425
I can't take this anymore.
227
00:09:23,463 --> 00:09:26,233
He's fallen in love
so many times now.
228
00:09:28,335 --> 00:09:30,695
Not like this.
229
00:09:30,738 --> 00:09:32,768
This is different.
230
00:09:32,806 --> 00:09:35,106
Come on, go talk to her.
231
00:09:35,142 --> 00:09:37,142
Oh, and it'll all be
because of me.
232
00:09:37,177 --> 00:09:39,977
And I'll sing
at your wedding. (laughs)
233
00:09:40,013 --> 00:09:42,223
Y-You are gonna have
a big wedding, right?
234
00:09:42,249 --> 00:09:44,519
What? No.
Just be cool, lady. Damn.
235
00:09:46,620 --> 00:09:49,460
(sighs) And aren't big weddings
kind of a young man's game?
236
00:09:49,489 --> 00:09:51,629
You don't have a big wedding
in your 30s.
237
00:09:51,659 --> 00:09:53,459
If I do ever get married,
238
00:09:53,493 --> 00:09:55,233
I'm keeping it simple.
239
00:09:55,262 --> 00:09:57,302
BARNEY: A hot air balloon?
240
00:09:57,330 --> 00:09:59,670
Well, yeah. I mean,
when you're getting married
241
00:09:59,700 --> 00:10:02,140
in a 17th-century castle in
France and making your entrance
242
00:10:02,169 --> 00:10:03,739
on a stagecoach
with six white horses,
243
00:10:03,771 --> 00:10:05,811
you kind of got to make
a big exit. (chuckles)
244
00:10:05,839 --> 00:10:08,939
How much are you
spending on this?
245
00:10:08,976 --> 00:10:11,476
Oh, like, a lot of money.
246
00:10:11,511 --> 00:10:12,811
Mm.
All of my money.
247
00:10:12,846 --> 00:10:15,176
Look, I know you guys
have been traveling a lot,
248
00:10:15,215 --> 00:10:16,775
but you're coming, right?
249
00:10:16,817 --> 00:10:18,617
Oh course. What...
Duh.
250
00:10:18,652 --> 00:10:20,092
(short laugh)
(quiet laugh)
251
00:10:20,120 --> 00:10:21,590
I'll get the next round.
252
00:10:21,621 --> 00:10:22,621
Thanks.
253
00:10:22,656 --> 00:10:23,786
I'd offer, but...
254
00:10:23,824 --> 00:10:24,934
Castle.
255
00:10:24,958 --> 00:10:27,628
Yeah.
256
00:10:27,661 --> 00:10:29,261
So, how you guys doing?
257
00:10:29,296 --> 00:10:31,126
I mean, Robin's really
taking off at work, huh?
258
00:10:31,164 --> 00:10:34,804
It's like, "Robin Scherbatsky,
World Wide News, Caracas."
259
00:10:34,835 --> 00:10:37,595
"Robin Scherbatsky, World Wide
News, St. Petersburg."
260
00:10:37,637 --> 00:10:39,267
"Robin Scherbatsky,
World Wide News,
261
00:10:39,306 --> 00:10:41,636
anywhere but New York,
apparently." (laughs)
262
00:10:41,675 --> 00:10:42,935
But it's great.
263
00:10:42,976 --> 00:10:45,146
Uh, it's makes things
super difficult for us,
264
00:10:45,178 --> 00:10:47,978
but it's great. It's great.
265
00:10:48,015 --> 00:10:50,475
It's great. It's great.
266
00:10:50,517 --> 00:10:51,617
One more and I'll believe you.
267
00:10:51,651 --> 00:10:53,791
It's great. (laughs)
Sounds great.
268
00:10:53,821 --> 00:10:56,021
Hey.
Hi, hi. Sorry I'm late.
269
00:10:56,056 --> 00:10:59,526
Can I talk to you for a minute?
Yeah, sure. Did you wire the
down payment to the castle guy?
270
00:10:59,559 --> 00:11:01,159
I got a castle guy.
271
00:11:01,194 --> 00:11:03,564
I've got, like,
three castle guys.
272
00:11:03,596 --> 00:11:06,296
And a moat guy, so...
273
00:11:06,333 --> 00:11:09,303
I didn't wire the
payment because
274
00:11:09,336 --> 00:11:12,666
I don't think we can get
married in September.
275
00:11:12,706 --> 00:11:14,636
What-What, why?
Because,
276
00:11:14,674 --> 00:11:16,644
when I do get married,
277
00:11:16,676 --> 00:11:19,246
I kind of want to fit
278
00:11:19,279 --> 00:11:22,019
in... my dress.
279
00:11:23,516 --> 00:11:25,346
Why wouldn't you f...
280
00:11:26,219 --> 00:11:27,319
No.
281
00:11:27,354 --> 00:11:28,324
Yeah.
282
00:11:28,355 --> 00:11:29,355
No.
Yeah.
283
00:11:29,389 --> 00:11:30,359
Yeah, yeah.
284
00:11:30,390 --> 00:11:32,390
Yeah.
Whoa. (laughing)
285
00:11:34,394 --> 00:11:35,904
What's going on?
286
00:11:35,929 --> 00:11:38,229
She's getting a boob job.
287
00:11:39,699 --> 00:11:41,999
LILY: We just peeked in on Penny
288
00:11:42,035 --> 00:11:43,335
asleep in the baby room.
289
00:11:43,370 --> 00:11:44,600
It's adorable.
290
00:11:44,637 --> 00:11:46,867
The whole place
looks great, guys.
291
00:11:46,907 --> 00:11:50,037
But I can't believe you let Ted
hang his jousting lance
292
00:11:50,077 --> 00:11:52,507
from the renaissance fair
on your bedroom wall.
293
00:11:52,545 --> 00:11:54,275
(chuckles)
Yeah.
294
00:11:54,314 --> 00:11:55,654
That's Ted's.
295
00:11:56,817 --> 00:11:58,347
So, Marshall,
how's your job going?
Mm.
296
00:11:58,385 --> 00:12:00,445
My chair...
297
00:12:00,487 --> 00:12:02,617
is reasonably comfortable.
298
00:12:02,655 --> 00:12:04,885
For short periods of time.
299
00:12:04,925 --> 00:12:07,355
Marshall has decided to say
300
00:12:07,394 --> 00:12:10,204
only positive things about
being back in corporate law.
301
00:12:10,230 --> 00:12:11,300
So you hate it?
302
00:12:11,331 --> 00:12:14,201
Much of what I do does not
make me cry.
303
00:12:14,234 --> 00:12:16,374
Hey, what about you guys?
304
00:12:16,403 --> 00:12:17,973
How was Argentina?
305
00:12:19,339 --> 00:12:21,539
Great. It was great.
306
00:12:21,574 --> 00:12:23,284
It was great.
It was great.
307
00:12:23,310 --> 00:12:24,950
It was great.
It wa great.
308
00:12:24,978 --> 00:12:27,818
It was great.
(chuckles)
309
00:12:27,848 --> 00:12:29,718
One more and I'll
believe you.
310
00:12:29,749 --> 00:12:31,049
(sighs)
(sighs)
311
00:12:31,084 --> 00:12:32,894
This is so not great.
312
00:12:32,920 --> 00:12:35,620
I'm sorry that I have
to work while I'm here.
313
00:12:35,655 --> 00:12:37,615
It's called being on assignment.
314
00:12:37,657 --> 00:12:39,457
Well, what about me? There's
no Wi-Fi in this hotel.
315
00:12:39,492 --> 00:12:41,592
How am I supposed to
run a business, Robin,
316
00:12:41,628 --> 00:12:43,128
with no Wi-Fi?
317
00:12:43,163 --> 00:12:45,473
It's not a business,
Barney, it's a blog, okay?
318
00:12:45,498 --> 00:12:47,468
It is a lifestyle blog.
319
00:12:47,500 --> 00:12:50,470
For the upscale,
sophisticated urban
gentleman, and it's
320
00:12:50,503 --> 00:12:54,213
never gonna take off if I can't
post today's boner joke.
321
00:12:57,845 --> 00:12:59,645
I know I'm always traveling.
322
00:12:59,679 --> 00:13:01,979
We both hate it when
I'm gone, we both hate it
323
00:13:02,015 --> 00:13:04,645
when I drag you with me.
Neither of us is happy.
324
00:13:06,553 --> 00:13:08,623
Is this just not
working anymore?
325
00:13:08,655 --> 00:13:11,515
Wait, w... What "this"?
This-this?
326
00:13:11,558 --> 00:13:15,828
If I gave you an out,
right now--
327
00:13:15,863 --> 00:13:17,973
if there was
an exit ramp right here
328
00:13:17,998 --> 00:13:21,498
at the three-year mark--
329
00:13:21,534 --> 00:13:23,344
would you take it?
330
00:13:25,172 --> 00:13:26,472
Before I answer that,
real quick:
331
00:13:26,506 --> 00:13:28,706
you want to get super drunk
and have sex right now?
332
00:13:28,741 --> 00:13:30,611
Of course.
333
00:13:30,643 --> 00:13:33,013
And then, one thing
led to another.
334
00:13:33,046 --> 00:13:34,606
And then another.
335
00:13:34,647 --> 00:13:35,877
And then another
after that.
336
00:13:35,916 --> 00:13:37,146
Oh.
Oh.
337
00:13:37,184 --> 00:13:39,624
And we kept drinking, and
338
00:13:39,652 --> 00:13:42,062
may have had
a little... too much.
339
00:13:46,894 --> 00:13:48,304
Arigato.
340
00:13:48,328 --> 00:13:49,798
Wow, these rooms
all look the same,
341
00:13:49,829 --> 00:13:51,029
even when you're sober.
342
00:13:51,064 --> 00:13:53,374
You're sober?
343
00:13:54,367 --> 00:13:57,067
So, um...
344
00:13:57,104 --> 00:14:00,514
about what we discussed
last night.
345
00:14:02,242 --> 00:14:03,842
How do you feel?
346
00:14:11,184 --> 00:14:13,094
I love you, Robin.
347
00:14:16,289 --> 00:14:18,929
And when we got married,
348
00:14:18,959 --> 00:14:24,099
I made a vow that I would always
tell you the truth.
349
00:14:26,699 --> 00:14:29,639
We got divorced.
350
00:14:38,211 --> 00:14:40,111
I can't believe you got
divorced without telling us.
351
00:14:40,147 --> 00:14:42,717
This is my mom and
dad all over again.
352
00:14:42,749 --> 00:14:44,949
Barney, if you start
brewing your own beer now
353
00:14:44,985 --> 00:14:46,745
and nail my prom
date, so help me...
354
00:14:46,786 --> 00:14:48,116
Years too late on
one of those, Teddy.
355
00:14:48,922 --> 00:14:50,562
Guys, it's okay.
356
00:14:50,590 --> 00:14:52,590
This isn't
a failed marriage.
357
00:14:52,625 --> 00:14:54,255
It's a very
successful marriage
358
00:14:54,294 --> 00:14:56,104
that happened to
only last three years.
359
00:14:56,129 --> 00:14:58,099
You both want this?
360
00:14:58,131 --> 00:14:59,931
For real?
361
00:14:59,967 --> 00:15:01,967
We do.
362
00:15:02,002 --> 00:15:03,672
For real.
363
00:15:04,637 --> 00:15:07,407
Lily, you okay?
364
00:15:07,440 --> 00:15:08,980
Of course
I'm not okay.
365
00:15:09,009 --> 00:15:11,409
This ruins
everything.
366
00:15:11,444 --> 00:15:12,784
Now we have to choose sides,
367
00:15:12,812 --> 00:15:14,882
and obviously
we're gonna choose Robin,
368
00:15:14,914 --> 00:15:16,754
but Barney has his moments.
369
00:15:16,783 --> 00:15:18,253
MARSHALL:
I really liked
370
00:15:18,285 --> 00:15:19,645
the boner joke of the day.
371
00:15:19,686 --> 00:15:21,986
Look, you guys do not need
to pick sides.
372
00:15:22,022 --> 00:15:24,622
Nothing has to change.
No. We've already
broken up before
373
00:15:24,657 --> 00:15:26,657
and we've stayed friends,
remember?
374
00:15:26,693 --> 00:15:30,663
As long as you promise me this
won't mean we stop hanging out.
375
00:15:30,697 --> 00:15:32,927
Okay.
376
00:15:32,966 --> 00:15:34,666
I'm serious.
I know,
but, I mean,
377
00:15:34,701 --> 00:15:36,601
we hardly hang out anymore
anyway.
378
00:15:36,636 --> 00:15:38,666
They live in the suburbs now,
379
00:15:38,705 --> 00:15:40,505
and you two are about
to have baby number three.
380
00:15:42,309 --> 00:15:44,479
Please. You're so obvious.
381
00:15:44,511 --> 00:15:46,981
Your gals are back up
to a full C-cup,
382
00:15:47,014 --> 00:15:49,024
and you've been sipping
her drink all night long.
383
00:15:50,017 --> 00:15:51,517
We didn't want
to announce anything
384
00:15:51,551 --> 00:15:52,951
till we knew for sure.
385
00:15:52,986 --> 00:15:54,286
Oh, my gosh, Lily!
386
00:15:54,321 --> 00:15:55,961
That's amazing!
Oh, congratulations!
387
00:15:55,989 --> 00:15:57,919
Oh, my God.
Wait, see?
388
00:15:57,957 --> 00:15:59,587
This, right here,
389
00:15:59,626 --> 00:16:02,926
this is why we can't fall
out of each other's lives.
390
00:16:02,962 --> 00:16:05,502
We have to be here
for the big moments.
391
00:16:05,532 --> 00:16:07,932
Just promise me,
no matter what,
392
00:16:07,967 --> 00:16:10,667
we will always be there
for the big moments.
393
00:16:10,703 --> 00:16:14,713
I-I promise. We'll-we'll always
be there for the big moments.
394
00:16:15,842 --> 00:16:17,712
Mm.
See?
395
00:16:17,744 --> 00:16:20,554
It's like this whole divorce
thing never happened.
396
00:16:20,580 --> 00:16:21,810
(crying)
397
00:16:21,848 --> 00:16:22,848
I...
398
00:16:25,752 --> 00:16:27,122
Hey.
Hi, sweetie.
399
00:16:27,154 --> 00:16:28,394
How was work?
400
00:16:28,421 --> 00:16:31,491
My-my boss only called me
three words
401
00:16:31,524 --> 00:16:33,994
that meant "vagina" today.
402
00:16:34,994 --> 00:16:36,664
How are the kids?
Asleep.
403
00:16:36,696 --> 00:16:38,826
Good. This is working, right?
404
00:16:38,865 --> 00:16:41,995
Marvin and Daisy sharing a room
together? It's not too cramped?
405
00:16:42,035 --> 00:16:43,965
And then when the
next one arrives,
406
00:16:44,003 --> 00:16:46,813
we'll just put her
crib... in the shower.
407
00:16:46,839 --> 00:16:49,479
It's the perfect size.
It'll save time on cleanups...
408
00:16:49,509 --> 00:16:50,539
Let's move
somewhere bigger.
409
00:16:50,577 --> 00:16:52,477
Yes. Oh, thank God.
410
00:16:52,512 --> 00:16:55,082
I mean... You know,
411
00:16:55,115 --> 00:16:57,545
don't get me wrong.
I love this apartment.
412
00:16:57,584 --> 00:16:59,824
How do you say good-bye
to so many special memories?
413
00:16:59,852 --> 00:17:02,822
Cock-a-mouse!
We have to move!
414
00:17:02,855 --> 00:17:04,855
(dance music playing)
(laughs)
415
00:17:06,259 --> 00:17:09,559
Hey, Marshall.
Robin!
416
00:17:09,596 --> 00:17:12,166
Hey, I'm so glad you're here.
It's-it's been forever.
417
00:17:12,199 --> 00:17:13,599
Oh, hey.
Hey.
418
00:17:13,633 --> 00:17:15,403
Where's your...
where's your costume?
419
00:17:15,435 --> 00:17:17,995
Oh, uh, it's been
a crazy week at work
420
00:17:18,037 --> 00:17:19,767
so no time to go shopping.
421
00:17:19,806 --> 00:17:22,076
Uh, well, who are
you supposed to be?
422
00:17:22,109 --> 00:17:24,409
Okay, I want to make it clear
this is not my idea.
423
00:17:24,444 --> 00:17:26,284
I'm Captain Ahab.
424
00:17:26,313 --> 00:17:28,553
Why is it bad
if it was your idea?
425
00:17:28,581 --> 00:17:30,621
Robin, you made it!
A white whale. Got it.
(chuckles)
426
00:17:30,650 --> 00:17:32,720
Aw. Hi.
Hi.
427
00:17:32,752 --> 00:17:34,222
Yeah, I figured,
428
00:17:34,254 --> 00:17:37,564
people are thinkin' it. Might as
well steer into the skid, right?
429
00:17:37,590 --> 00:17:39,260
Where's your costume?
430
00:17:39,292 --> 00:17:40,592
Oh, you know,
I've just been so...
431
00:17:40,627 --> 00:17:42,097
(squealing)
Oh, my God, Marshall!
432
00:17:42,129 --> 00:17:43,759
Guess whose digits
I just scored?
433
00:17:43,796 --> 00:17:46,066
The slutty
police officer's...
434
00:17:46,099 --> 00:17:48,399
tax attorney.
435
00:17:48,435 --> 00:17:50,195
Hey, Robin!
436
00:17:50,237 --> 00:17:52,037
Hey.
Didn't see you there.
437
00:17:52,071 --> 00:17:54,111
(chuckling nervously)
Saved it.
438
00:17:54,141 --> 00:17:55,611
Sorry, I got to pee.
439
00:17:55,642 --> 00:17:58,252
I-I'll be back
in... an hour.
440
00:18:01,748 --> 00:18:03,378
Oh, man.
441
00:18:03,416 --> 00:18:05,916
Is Ted still wearing
his hanging chad costume?
442
00:18:05,952 --> 00:18:08,052
How old is that thing?
It's gone
443
00:18:08,087 --> 00:18:10,717
from played out to
charmingly retro and back
444
00:18:10,757 --> 00:18:12,227
six or seven times now.
445
00:18:12,259 --> 00:18:13,589
Kind of
like Ted himself.
446
00:18:13,626 --> 00:18:15,996
Tonight it's working
for him though.
447
00:18:16,028 --> 00:18:19,498
ROBIN:
How do you do this, Ted?
How do you
448
00:18:19,532 --> 00:18:21,932
sit out here all night
on the roof in the cold
449
00:18:21,968 --> 00:18:24,838
and still have faith
your pumpkin's gonna show up?
450
00:18:24,871 --> 00:18:27,511
Look, I know that odds are
the love of my life
451
00:18:27,540 --> 00:18:29,610
isn't gonna magically walk
through that door
452
00:18:29,642 --> 00:18:31,412
in a pumpkin costume at...
453
00:18:31,444 --> 00:18:33,954
2:43 in the morning, but...
454
00:18:33,980 --> 00:18:37,580
this seems as nice a spot
as any to just, you know...
455
00:18:37,617 --> 00:18:40,017
sit and wait.
456
00:18:47,360 --> 00:18:49,600
Um...
457
00:18:49,629 --> 00:18:52,499
uh, c-can you tell Lily
I-I had to go?
458
00:18:52,532 --> 00:18:54,172
I got to split.
459
00:18:54,201 --> 00:18:55,341
(sighs)
460
00:18:57,670 --> 00:18:59,510
Speaking of splits, do you think
I can do a split in midair
461
00:18:59,539 --> 00:19:01,539
like my boy
David Lee Roth?
462
00:19:01,574 --> 00:19:02,444
I know you can't.
463
00:19:02,475 --> 00:19:03,975
Challenge accepted.
464
00:19:05,345 --> 00:19:08,515
BARNEY:
Oh, my scrotum!
465
00:19:10,350 --> 00:19:11,820
(sighs)
466
00:19:15,855 --> 00:19:17,385
I can't get out
of this thing.
467
00:19:17,424 --> 00:19:18,864
I'm holding it.
468
00:19:18,891 --> 00:19:21,031
Wait,
are you leaving?
Yeah,
469
00:19:21,060 --> 00:19:23,060
I got a big day tomorrow.
I got to get some sleep.
470
00:19:23,095 --> 00:19:26,125
No, you can't leave.
This is a big moment.
471
00:19:26,165 --> 00:19:28,465
We're saying good-bye
to the apartment.
472
00:19:28,501 --> 00:19:30,871
The whole gang has to be here.
473
00:19:30,903 --> 00:19:32,573
The gang?
474
00:19:32,605 --> 00:19:35,105
Do you know who the gang is
to me, Lily?
475
00:19:35,908 --> 00:19:36,978
Here's what the gang is:
476
00:19:37,009 --> 00:19:39,149
the gang is a married couple
477
00:19:39,178 --> 00:19:42,648
who I never see anymore,
about to have their third kid;
478
00:19:42,682 --> 00:19:44,752
it's my ex-husband,
479
00:19:44,784 --> 00:19:47,824
hitting on slutty cops
right in front of me;
480
00:19:47,854 --> 00:19:51,824
and it's the guy I probably
should have ended up with
481
00:19:51,858 --> 00:19:54,358
with the beautiful mother
of his child.
482
00:19:54,394 --> 00:19:56,404
Oh...
483
00:19:58,398 --> 00:20:01,068
Oh, oh, so... so what?
484
00:20:01,100 --> 00:20:02,770
This is all
485
00:20:02,802 --> 00:20:04,572
just over then?
486
00:20:04,604 --> 00:20:08,014
Our whole friendship
is just over?
487
00:20:08,040 --> 00:20:10,940
No. No, of course not.
Look, we'll...
488
00:20:10,977 --> 00:20:13,777
we'll always be friends.
It's just...
489
00:20:13,813 --> 00:20:16,323
never gonna be how it was.
490
00:20:17,484 --> 00:20:18,694
It can't be.
491
00:20:18,718 --> 00:20:19,948
And that doesn't
492
00:20:19,986 --> 00:20:22,286
have to be a sad thing.
493
00:20:22,322 --> 00:20:24,792
There-There's so much
wonderful stuff happening
494
00:20:24,824 --> 00:20:27,294
in all of our
lives right now.
495
00:20:27,327 --> 00:20:29,427
Look, more than enough
to be grateful for.
496
00:20:30,630 --> 00:20:33,470
But the five of us
hanging out at MacLaren's,
497
00:20:33,500 --> 00:20:36,800
being young and stupid...
498
00:20:36,836 --> 00:20:38,736
(sighs)
that's just not one
of those things.
499
00:20:40,640 --> 00:20:43,110
(sighs)
I got to go.
500
00:20:44,344 --> 00:20:46,254
Good night, Lily.
501
00:20:47,280 --> 00:20:49,580
Good night.
502
00:21:03,596 --> 00:21:06,596
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