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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:57,464 --> 00:00:58,923 # You won't 2 00:00:59,883 --> 00:01:01,757 # Forsake me 3 00:01:02,719 --> 00:01:04,379 # To heaven 4 00:01:05,305 --> 00:01:06,550 # You take me 5 00:01:08,391 --> 00:01:11,013 # Don't try to wake me 6 00:01:11,061 --> 00:01:13,137 # I'm just lost in a dream 7 00:01:14,147 --> 00:01:15,891 # I know that you won't 8 00:01:17,526 --> 00:01:19,186 # Forsake me 9 00:01:20,278 --> 00:01:21,938 # To heaven 10 00:01:22,864 --> 00:01:24,109 # You take me 11 00:01:25,992 --> 00:01:28,614 # Don't try to wake me 12 00:01:28,662 --> 00:01:30,322 # I'm just lost in a dream 13 00:01:31,373 --> 00:01:34,042 # I'm just lost in a 14 00:01:34,084 --> 00:01:36,160 # Dream # 15 00:02:17,586 --> 00:02:20,124 - And three, thank you. - Thank you. 16 00:02:37,105 --> 00:02:38,599 (Girl) Ouch! 17 00:02:39,274 --> 00:02:41,397 - Ow. - Keep still. 18 00:02:41,443 --> 00:02:43,685 Look, do you mind, you're hurting. 19 00:02:43,737 --> 00:02:45,480 It's all part of the training. 20 00:02:45,530 --> 00:02:48,235 None of us is bloody perfect. 21 00:02:54,122 --> 00:02:57,242 Get your head in there. Come on, get a move on. 22 00:02:57,292 --> 00:02:59,368 I say, steady on! 23 00:03:01,505 --> 00:03:05,337 - Shouldn't I have a hairnet? - Course not, it doesn't matter. 24 00:03:07,385 --> 00:03:11,051 - You always had small tits and a big bum? - Sorry? 25 00:03:11,098 --> 00:03:15,142 Thought so. I've put you on gas mark four... 26 00:03:15,185 --> 00:03:17,557 back in two days, all right? 27 00:03:20,440 --> 00:03:22,397 (Girl) Can I have a magazine? 28 00:03:24,861 --> 00:03:27,815 Standing side by side. If you know anything about skipping 29 00:03:27,864 --> 00:03:30,818 you'll know that this is quite fascinating. Stand side by side 30 00:03:30,867 --> 00:03:33,489 and place your near arm round your partner's waist. 31 00:03:33,537 --> 00:03:35,363 I do this with my friend Doris. 32 00:03:35,414 --> 00:03:38,249 Or you can hold inside hands. We do that too. 33 00:03:39,334 --> 00:03:41,955 The swing of the rope must be from the wrist in both cases 34 00:03:42,003 --> 00:03:44,329 otherwise the rope will not turn evenly. 35 00:03:44,381 --> 00:03:47,797 And you can have formation skipping teams of any number. 36 00:03:47,843 --> 00:03:49,005 Would you like to join? 37 00:03:50,220 --> 00:03:53,554 Have I got nice tits or have I got nice tits? 38 00:03:57,436 --> 00:03:59,677 I've got better tits than her. 39 00:03:59,729 --> 00:04:02,434 At least I don't wear bloody falsies. 40 00:04:09,823 --> 00:04:14,699 - Chevely Wonder. - Seven to two. 41 00:04:14,745 --> 00:04:16,784 - Ought to go. - How much? 42 00:04:16,830 --> 00:04:18,869 - A dollar. - All right. 43 00:04:18,915 --> 00:04:21,204 - And cross double it with the other two. - OK. 44 00:04:34,765 --> 00:04:36,472 Lynda? 45 00:04:45,817 --> 00:04:47,561 I think you're done, dear. 46 00:04:47,611 --> 00:04:51,027 It's awfully hot under here. 47 00:04:51,072 --> 00:04:52,899 It's always like that. 48 00:04:52,949 --> 00:04:55,785 - Bugger! - There's a very unpleasant smell. 49 00:04:55,827 --> 00:04:58,864 - Don't fidget! - You didn't give me a magazine. 50 00:04:58,914 --> 00:05:03,457 You're getting a free bloody perm, what do you expect? 51 00:05:04,753 --> 00:05:06,745 Fine. 52 00:05:06,797 --> 00:05:08,623 Good. 53 00:05:08,673 --> 00:05:11,591 Yes. Yes. 54 00:05:11,635 --> 00:05:14,042 - Yes. You pleased with that? - Yes, thank you. 55 00:05:21,812 --> 00:05:23,222 Oh. 56 00:05:25,398 --> 00:05:27,308 Look. 57 00:05:28,401 --> 00:05:29,896 Look at my hair! 58 00:05:30,695 --> 00:05:32,569 Look what you've done to my hair! 59 00:05:32,614 --> 00:05:34,654 Oh, I don't know. 60 00:05:34,699 --> 00:05:37,025 It looks nice. It's nice. 61 00:05:37,077 --> 00:05:38,868 Look at it! Look at it! 62 00:05:38,912 --> 00:05:42,198 Oh, shut up, you silly fat cow! You can always wear a hat. 63 00:05:42,249 --> 00:05:44,325 Lynda, come with me. 64 00:05:45,419 --> 00:05:47,411 (Sobs) 65 00:05:47,921 --> 00:05:50,210 People just don't want to hear a lot of filthy talk 66 00:05:50,257 --> 00:05:51,537 when they're having a perm. 67 00:05:51,591 --> 00:05:53,667 Come on, out. 68 00:05:55,220 --> 00:05:59,763 - I did not swear at her. - It's unprofessional and disgusting. 69 00:06:00,559 --> 00:06:02,765 Only took it on to please you. 70 00:06:05,021 --> 00:06:08,225 Look there. Up there. There's an opening waiting. 71 00:06:08,275 --> 00:06:10,600 All yours. Security for life. 72 00:06:11,361 --> 00:06:13,733 This town's full of women crying out for perms. 73 00:06:13,780 --> 00:06:15,405 - Hello, Dad. - Hello, Margaret. 74 00:06:15,449 --> 00:06:17,026 - Hello, Lynda. - Oh, bugger off. 75 00:06:17,075 --> 00:06:19,483 Watch your... Just watch it. 76 00:06:20,328 --> 00:06:22,998 Ever since you were a child, you and your disgusting mouth. 77 00:06:23,039 --> 00:06:24,582 Thank you very much. 78 00:06:24,624 --> 00:06:27,542 - There's something wrong with you, my girl. - I'm bloody bored. 79 00:06:27,586 --> 00:06:29,662 Language. 80 00:06:31,757 --> 00:06:33,833 (Knocks on glass) 81 00:06:36,678 --> 00:06:38,671 - Cod or haddock, what do you want? - Cod. 82 00:06:38,722 --> 00:06:40,798 Dog. 83 00:06:48,148 --> 00:06:50,271 Elizabeth! Lynda, look. 84 00:06:50,317 --> 00:06:53,982 Look, Margaret, look there. That's your dad! 85 00:06:56,156 --> 00:06:57,734 Come on, Margaret. 86 00:07:15,133 --> 00:07:17,968 Millie. 87 00:07:18,011 --> 00:07:19,671 Hello, brother. 88 00:07:20,597 --> 00:07:24,180 Hello, prettiness. You get prettier every day. 89 00:07:24,226 --> 00:07:26,302 Got a kiss for your father? 90 00:07:27,854 --> 00:07:29,313 Is that Lynda? 91 00:07:31,274 --> 00:07:33,765 Take that off, Lynda. Take it off! 92 00:07:40,158 --> 00:07:41,736 Have you brought us any presents? 93 00:07:41,785 --> 00:07:43,694 Where's that kiss for your dad, Lynda? 94 00:07:51,002 --> 00:07:54,206 (Millie) No, I don't believe it. When? 95 00:07:54,256 --> 00:07:55,833 Well, this was before the war. 96 00:07:56,633 --> 00:07:58,626 No! I don't believe it. 97 00:07:58,677 --> 00:08:00,835 Spectacular. 98 00:08:00,887 --> 00:08:04,137 (Woman) On one of the liners? (Dad) That's correct. 99 00:08:04,182 --> 00:08:06,389 (Woman) Oh, I just don't believe it, do you? 100 00:08:06,435 --> 00:08:08,287 (Millie) I don't think the man would lie to us, Joan. 101 00:08:08,311 --> 00:08:11,182 (Joan) Oh no, I mean, I just can't believe it. 102 00:08:11,231 --> 00:08:13,271 (Dad) Nor can I. (Millie) I can. 103 00:08:13,316 --> 00:08:15,128 (Joan) Oh, you only say that because you never liked her. 104 00:08:15,152 --> 00:08:16,562 (Millie) Who? (Joan) You. 105 00:08:16,611 --> 00:08:19,815 (Millie) Never liked who? (Joan) Gracie Fields! 106 00:08:19,865 --> 00:08:21,063 (Millie) I think she screaks. 107 00:08:21,116 --> 00:08:23,441 (Joan) For goodness' sake! (Dad) Oh, come on! 108 00:08:23,493 --> 00:08:25,901 Your father has cut... 109 00:08:25,954 --> 00:08:29,453 Gracie Fields's hair, how about that then? 110 00:08:29,499 --> 00:08:30,958 Shampoo, set and trim. 111 00:08:31,001 --> 00:08:34,584 - (Joan) Shampoo, set and trim. - They don't know what you're talking about. 112 00:08:34,629 --> 00:08:36,539 - What? - They think you're off your rocker. 113 00:08:36,590 --> 00:08:37,788 Don't you? 114 00:08:37,841 --> 00:08:39,750 - (Joan) Our Gracie. - (Mouths) 115 00:08:39,801 --> 00:08:42,471 (Man laughs theatrically) 116 00:08:42,512 --> 00:08:44,054 That's Gracie Fields. 117 00:08:44,097 --> 00:08:47,549 - (Millie) Hardly. - I'll get some more water. 118 00:08:47,601 --> 00:08:51,017 - Show them the picture, Hubert. - I was going to. 119 00:08:51,062 --> 00:08:55,191 - She gave me this. - Ohh, look at that! 120 00:08:55,233 --> 00:08:58,733 - Very nice. - I've not seen this before. 121 00:08:58,779 --> 00:09:01,151 Of course not, woman. 122 00:09:01,198 --> 00:09:04,282 - Can I read what it says? - That's a lock of her hair. 123 00:09:04,326 --> 00:09:07,243 - (Joan) It's not! - It is. 124 00:09:10,415 --> 00:09:12,574 "To Hubert,." 125 00:09:12,626 --> 00:09:15,829 "With thanks and good wishes..." 126 00:09:15,879 --> 00:09:17,587 "Gracie Fields." 127 00:09:18,673 --> 00:09:20,216 Lynda just said "up your bum". 128 00:09:22,511 --> 00:09:23,756 And "pig's willy". 129 00:09:32,354 --> 00:09:33,848 Out! 130 00:09:33,897 --> 00:09:36,898 - Go on, out! - Hubert... 131 00:09:36,942 --> 00:09:39,859 - Out. - Don't be hard on the girl. 132 00:09:40,487 --> 00:09:44,152 I have not travelled the oceans of the world to come home to language like that. 133 00:09:44,199 --> 00:09:46,275 Bed! 134 00:09:46,326 --> 00:09:48,995 What's the matter? 135 00:11:07,908 --> 00:11:10,612 What's all the fuss about, eh? 136 00:11:12,079 --> 00:11:14,118 I wish he hadn't come home. 137 00:11:14,164 --> 00:11:17,580 I wish he'd stayed at sea with bloody Gracie Fields. 138 00:11:41,399 --> 00:11:43,688 - Hey, no cycling! - Up your bum. 139 00:11:43,735 --> 00:11:45,977 Lynda! Lynda! 140 00:12:01,628 --> 00:12:03,087 Say hello to your Uncle Harry. 141 00:12:03,130 --> 00:12:05,003 - Give us a chance. - Hello, Lynda. 142 00:12:05,048 --> 00:12:06,317 - Your Uncle Harry... - Uncle Harry. 143 00:12:06,341 --> 00:12:09,757 Your Uncle Harry's got a job for you. You start tomorrow. 144 00:12:09,803 --> 00:12:11,760 (Harry) If you want it. (Hubert) She wants it. 145 00:12:11,805 --> 00:12:15,174 - Start tomorrow at eight. - You'd better get home to bed then. 146 00:12:15,225 --> 00:12:17,550 Good. See you at eight, get you started. 147 00:12:17,602 --> 00:12:19,678 I'm sure you'll be very happy. 148 00:12:20,647 --> 00:12:23,103 Where? Where do I have to be tomorrow at eight? 149 00:12:23,650 --> 00:12:25,726 The garage, the bus company. 150 00:12:35,996 --> 00:12:40,159 (Men wolf whistle and cheer) 151 00:13:04,608 --> 00:13:05,983 Hello. 152 00:13:06,026 --> 00:13:09,525 - Hello? - (Lynda laughs) 153 00:13:11,531 --> 00:13:14,069 What are you laughing at? 154 00:13:14,117 --> 00:13:18,411 It's hot. Warm work, riding bikes. 155 00:13:19,498 --> 00:13:21,122 I fancy you, actually. 156 00:13:21,166 --> 00:13:24,250 You can take me to the pictures, there's a Betty Grable film on. 157 00:13:24,294 --> 00:13:26,370 You can take me if you want. 158 00:13:28,715 --> 00:13:30,257 Yeah, maybe. 159 00:13:30,300 --> 00:13:33,005 Do you think I've got legs like Betty Grable? 160 00:13:34,096 --> 00:13:35,175 I don't know. 161 00:13:35,222 --> 00:13:38,638 If you take me on Saturday night, I'll buy my own ticket. 162 00:13:40,060 --> 00:13:41,174 All right. 163 00:13:43,688 --> 00:13:45,147 Bye! 164 00:13:46,858 --> 00:13:48,602 Brian? 165 00:13:48,652 --> 00:13:50,063 Betty Grable! 166 00:13:50,987 --> 00:13:53,609 (Laughter) 167 00:14:08,672 --> 00:14:09,870 - Hello. - Hello. 168 00:14:09,923 --> 00:14:11,417 I haven't seen you here before. 169 00:14:11,466 --> 00:14:13,506 - No. - Why not? 170 00:14:13,552 --> 00:14:16,173 I've not been here, have I, drip. 171 00:14:16,680 --> 00:14:19,135 - (Horn hoots) - Would you like to come dancing? 172 00:14:19,182 --> 00:14:21,175 - The Rex, Saturday night. - Lynda. 173 00:14:21,226 --> 00:14:23,219 I'm a good dancer. 174 00:14:23,270 --> 00:14:25,346 I can't, I've already got a date. 175 00:14:25,397 --> 00:14:26,642 Morning, Mr Figgis. 176 00:14:26,690 --> 00:14:28,766 This way please, you're late. 177 00:14:30,152 --> 00:14:33,485 - You don't know what you're missing. - Neither do you. 178 00:16:14,423 --> 00:16:16,166 It's not Betty Grable. 179 00:16:17,676 --> 00:16:18,838 What? 180 00:16:18,885 --> 00:16:21,174 It's not Betty Grable. 181 00:16:21,221 --> 00:16:23,095 This is not a Betty Grable film. 182 00:16:24,599 --> 00:16:26,426 I know... 183 00:16:26,476 --> 00:16:28,765 dri-p. 184 00:16:28,812 --> 00:16:31,647 Starting something I can't finish. 185 00:16:31,690 --> 00:16:34,359 Giving you happiness for a little while and... 186 00:16:35,152 --> 00:16:37,393 - and... - Oh, darling... 187 00:16:37,446 --> 00:16:40,363 happiness such as we can have is worth grasping, 188 00:16:40,407 --> 00:16:42,565 even if it's only for a day, an hour. 189 00:16:42,617 --> 00:16:44,943 If you stand on the highest peak for one moment 190 00:16:44,995 --> 00:16:49,372 you've had what most people strive in vain for all their lives. 191 00:16:49,416 --> 00:16:53,330 (Woman) If only I could believe it. (Man) Darling, listen to me. 192 00:16:53,378 --> 00:16:56,000 You say you've only a few months. 193 00:16:56,047 --> 00:16:58,503 How long has anyone in the world? How long have I? 194 00:16:58,550 --> 00:17:01,836 A month, a year? Well, perhaps I'll get away with it altogether 195 00:17:01,887 --> 00:17:03,713 and so may you. 196 00:17:03,764 --> 00:17:05,756 But we're all living dangerously. 197 00:17:05,807 --> 00:17:08,381 There isn't an certainty any more. 198 00:17:08,435 --> 00:17:11,305 There's just today and the hope of tomorrow. 199 00:17:12,397 --> 00:17:14,722 Oh, darling. 200 00:17:14,775 --> 00:17:17,859 Please, let's... let's take all the happiness we can 201 00:17:17,903 --> 00:17:20,026 while we can. 202 00:17:20,071 --> 00:17:21,731 Don't be afraid. 203 00:17:23,742 --> 00:17:27,490 (Woman) All right, my darling. I won't be afraid. 204 00:17:28,622 --> 00:17:30,994 I'll never be afraid any more. 205 00:17:33,919 --> 00:17:35,377 (Lynda sobs) 206 00:17:35,420 --> 00:17:37,709 What's the matter, Lynda? 207 00:17:39,049 --> 00:17:40,673 What's the matter? 208 00:17:51,520 --> 00:17:53,927 (Lynda sobs) 209 00:17:53,980 --> 00:17:55,439 Lynda. 210 00:17:57,150 --> 00:17:58,526 Lynda? 211 00:17:59,611 --> 00:18:01,438 What's the matter? 212 00:18:06,785 --> 00:18:08,861 What's the matter? 213 00:18:10,205 --> 00:18:13,325 Look, I'm sorry. I didn't mean it. 214 00:18:18,213 --> 00:18:21,962 I liked it, it was nice, silly bugger! 215 00:18:49,786 --> 00:18:51,993 Now then, now then, none of that here! 216 00:18:52,038 --> 00:18:54,327 - Steady on! - What do you think you're doing? 217 00:18:54,374 --> 00:18:57,660 - This is a picture palace, not a brothel. - I'm sorry, sir, very sorry. 218 00:18:57,711 --> 00:18:59,205 I'll be talking to your parents. 219 00:18:59,254 --> 00:19:01,128 Oh, please! It won't happen again. 220 00:19:01,173 --> 00:19:02,453 It's disgusting. 221 00:19:02,507 --> 00:19:03,966 Oh, sod the pair of you! 222 00:19:04,009 --> 00:19:05,468 I'll be talking to your father. 223 00:19:05,510 --> 00:19:07,586 Bloody good luck to you! 224 00:19:07,637 --> 00:19:09,595 Here, get off before I kick your arse. 225 00:19:09,639 --> 00:19:12,047 Go on, or I'll kick your arse! 226 00:19:49,888 --> 00:19:51,513 Yes, sir? 227 00:19:52,599 --> 00:19:55,470 (Cheering) 228 00:19:55,519 --> 00:19:58,638 And... they go right up to my belly button. 229 00:20:00,607 --> 00:20:02,434 Marks and Spencer's, do you like them? 230 00:20:02,484 --> 00:20:04,560 - (Loud cheer) - Look nice, don't they? 231 00:20:10,283 --> 00:20:12,572 (Whistling, applause) 232 00:20:15,789 --> 00:20:18,576 Do you like my suspenders? 233 00:20:18,625 --> 00:20:20,534 What about your knickers? 234 00:20:20,585 --> 00:20:23,337 (Men roar and whistle) 235 00:20:24,423 --> 00:20:27,756 Stop! Stop this! Out! 236 00:20:28,301 --> 00:20:30,627 - You're fired. - (Men boo) 237 00:20:30,679 --> 00:20:32,837 - You're all fired. - (Loud cheer) 238 00:20:32,889 --> 00:20:34,882 No, no, no you're not. 239 00:20:34,933 --> 00:20:36,344 Just you, you're fired. 240 00:20:36,393 --> 00:20:38,432 - (Men jeer) - You lot, out! 241 00:20:38,478 --> 00:20:40,969 Back to the buses. Get back! 242 00:20:41,022 --> 00:20:44,273 But I was only showing them my new knickers, Mr Figgis. Look! 243 00:20:44,317 --> 00:20:47,402 (Men cheer) 244 00:20:50,991 --> 00:20:53,826 (Man) #...Upstairs and downstairs 245 00:20:53,869 --> 00:20:56,324 # In my lady's chamber 246 00:20:56,371 --> 00:20:58,862 # Goosey, goosey, gander 247 00:20:58,915 --> 00:21:01,122 # Where did I wander? 248 00:21:01,168 --> 00:21:03,374 # Upstairs and downstairs 249 00:21:03,420 --> 00:21:05,496 # In my lady's chamber 250 00:21:06,298 --> 00:21:08,255 # Then I saw an old man 251 00:21:08,300 --> 00:21:11,254 # Didn't say his prayers 252 00:21:11,303 --> 00:21:13,461 # Took him by the left leg 253 00:21:13,513 --> 00:21:17,013 # And threw him down the stairs 254 00:21:17,058 --> 00:21:19,265 # Goosey, goosey, gander 255 00:21:19,311 --> 00:21:21,387 # Where did I wander? # 256 00:21:26,276 --> 00:21:29,194 Your father says you've, er, 257 00:21:29,237 --> 00:21:31,645 sworn constantly since you were a child. 258 00:21:31,698 --> 00:21:33,525 My first word was bum. 259 00:21:33,575 --> 00:21:34,855 Really? 260 00:21:35,952 --> 00:21:38,657 - He's very worried about your, er... - Swearing. 261 00:21:38,705 --> 00:21:40,781 Yes, that's right, and your... 262 00:21:40,832 --> 00:21:42,908 your behaviour. 263 00:21:44,086 --> 00:21:46,623 As I said, I'm, er... 264 00:21:46,671 --> 00:21:48,747 - I'm here to help you. - That's nice. 265 00:21:48,799 --> 00:21:50,507 Mm. 266 00:21:50,550 --> 00:21:53,504 Once we discover what kind of help you need. 267 00:21:54,596 --> 00:21:55,841 Good. 268 00:21:56,723 --> 00:21:58,550 Do you know what a psychiatrist is? 269 00:21:58,600 --> 00:22:00,676 - No. - You don't? 270 00:22:01,561 --> 00:22:02,972 Do you resent coming here? 271 00:22:03,021 --> 00:22:04,480 No, why should I? 272 00:22:04,523 --> 00:22:06,266 I thought it'd make a nice day out. 273 00:22:08,902 --> 00:22:12,686 I tell you what we'll do, Lynda. Do you mind if I call you Lynda? 274 00:22:12,739 --> 00:22:14,981 I prefer that to Beryl. 275 00:22:15,033 --> 00:22:16,777 Is Beryl your second name? 276 00:22:16,827 --> 00:22:18,285 No! 277 00:22:21,248 --> 00:22:23,324 I tell you what we'll do. 278 00:22:24,709 --> 00:22:27,497 Let's go through the alphabet. We'll start at A. 279 00:22:27,546 --> 00:22:28,874 Best place. 280 00:22:28,922 --> 00:22:31,958 And I want you to tell me all the swear words you know 281 00:22:32,008 --> 00:22:33,289 beginning with A. 282 00:22:33,343 --> 00:22:35,502 - Then we'll go on to, er... - B. 283 00:22:35,554 --> 00:22:37,795 And so on. Do you get the picture? 284 00:22:38,682 --> 00:22:41,636 So... A. The letter A. 285 00:22:41,685 --> 00:22:45,018 - Arse. - Arse. Good. 286 00:22:45,063 --> 00:22:46,474 Do you really want me to do this? 287 00:22:46,523 --> 00:22:49,061 - You feel foolish, do you, when you swear? - No... 288 00:22:49,109 --> 00:22:50,983 only when I'm sat here like this. 289 00:22:51,027 --> 00:22:53,020 - Do you feel guilty? - What about? 290 00:22:53,071 --> 00:22:55,562 Let's go on. Arse... 291 00:22:55,615 --> 00:22:57,026 Hole. 292 00:22:57,075 --> 00:22:58,735 - Hole? - Arse. 293 00:22:58,785 --> 00:23:01,193 - Hole. - Yeah, that's it. 294 00:23:01,246 --> 00:23:03,073 Ah, good, yes. 295 00:23:03,123 --> 00:23:05,875 - And holes. - Holes. 296 00:23:05,917 --> 00:23:07,625 Of course. 297 00:23:07,669 --> 00:23:08,700 Let's move on to B. 298 00:23:08,754 --> 00:23:11,671 Leave those behind, ha ha. 299 00:23:11,715 --> 00:23:13,090 B. 300 00:23:13,133 --> 00:23:16,134 - Bloody, bastard, bugger, bum. - Very good. 301 00:23:16,178 --> 00:23:17,755 - And holes. - Holes. 302 00:23:17,804 --> 00:23:19,298 - Bum. - Holes. 303 00:23:19,347 --> 00:23:21,340 Yes, of course, very good. 304 00:23:32,944 --> 00:23:36,194 Now, Lynda... C. 305 00:23:36,239 --> 00:23:37,698 We missed balls. 306 00:23:37,741 --> 00:23:39,817 So we did, never mind. C. 307 00:23:42,370 --> 00:23:44,328 (Click) 308 00:23:45,874 --> 00:23:48,032 - No. - Take your time. 309 00:23:48,085 --> 00:23:49,283 Can't think of nothing. 310 00:23:49,336 --> 00:23:51,743 Think very hard now. 311 00:23:51,797 --> 00:23:53,505 The letter C. 312 00:23:54,591 --> 00:23:57,426 Something very filthy. 313 00:23:57,469 --> 00:23:59,545 Very, very dirty. 314 00:24:01,890 --> 00:24:03,301 Cacka? 315 00:24:04,643 --> 00:24:05,674 Cacka? 316 00:24:05,727 --> 00:24:08,135 Cacka. Pooh-poohs. 317 00:24:08,188 --> 00:24:10,062 - Are you feeling ashamed? - What of? 318 00:24:10,107 --> 00:24:12,376 - What you're really thinking. - I'm not thinking anything. 319 00:24:12,400 --> 00:24:15,105 - Yes, you are. - No, I'm not. 320 00:24:16,238 --> 00:24:17,566 Very well then. D. 321 00:24:17,614 --> 00:24:19,073 - Damn. - Precisely. 322 00:24:19,116 --> 00:24:20,278 F. The letter F. 323 00:24:20,325 --> 00:24:22,365 - We've missed out E. - There isn't one with E. 324 00:24:22,411 --> 00:24:24,736 - There might be. - There isn't, take my word for it. 325 00:24:24,788 --> 00:24:26,864 - We could give it a try. - F. 326 00:24:26,915 --> 00:24:29,323 Can you think of a filthy, dirty, smutty word, 327 00:24:29,376 --> 00:24:30,656 beginning with F. 328 00:24:30,710 --> 00:24:33,118 - Not too hard, I should think, Lynda. - No. 329 00:24:34,089 --> 00:24:36,378 - Come on, come on, of course you can. - I can't. 330 00:24:36,425 --> 00:24:38,334 Of course you can. I can, anybody can. 331 00:24:38,385 --> 00:24:39,962 Well, what then? You tell me. 332 00:24:40,011 --> 00:24:42,502 You must be one of the last people on earth not to know. 333 00:24:42,556 --> 00:24:44,050 Everybody knows a swear word with F. 334 00:24:44,099 --> 00:24:45,890 Then, what are you asking me for? 335 00:24:45,934 --> 00:24:47,428 Because I want to hear you say it. 336 00:24:47,477 --> 00:24:49,102 You dirty old bugger. 337 00:24:59,531 --> 00:25:04,157 It is difficult to be sure without further investigations 338 00:25:04,202 --> 00:25:07,203 but I would conjecture that something has happened to Lynda 339 00:25:07,247 --> 00:25:09,999 during the course of her adolescence. 340 00:25:10,041 --> 00:25:11,701 Her mother died when she was eleven 341 00:25:11,752 --> 00:25:14,207 - would that have anything to do with it? - Possibly. 342 00:25:14,254 --> 00:25:16,247 What can I do? 343 00:25:18,425 --> 00:25:21,094 I'm ashamed of her, Doctor, she's an embarrassment. 344 00:25:21,845 --> 00:25:25,463 - Is there nothing you can do? - She's a difficult case. 345 00:25:25,515 --> 00:25:27,804 Can you make some more appointments for her? 346 00:25:28,810 --> 00:25:32,393 - Will it cost the same for each visit? - Yes, it will. 347 00:25:32,439 --> 00:25:34,645 Then I'm not sure that it's worth it. 348 00:25:40,238 --> 00:25:43,572 (Band plays) 349 00:26:02,219 --> 00:26:05,006 (Applause) 350 00:26:05,055 --> 00:26:06,253 Thank you, thank you. 351 00:26:07,265 --> 00:26:08,843 And now, ladies and gentlemen, 352 00:26:08,892 --> 00:26:13,186 we have a star number for you from our feature vocalist, Rudy Stephenson. 353 00:26:13,230 --> 00:26:17,310 And he's going to sing for all you sweethearts and lovers. 354 00:26:17,359 --> 00:26:19,482 And also for Trevor Wilson and Tessa Phipps 355 00:26:19,528 --> 00:26:22,694 - who became engaged today. - (Feedback) 356 00:26:26,827 --> 00:26:29,578 Thank you. We'd like you to dance nice and close together, 357 00:26:29,621 --> 00:26:31,910 as Rudy gives you his own very special rendition 358 00:26:31,957 --> 00:26:34,662 of that all-time favourite, Lost In A Dream. 359 00:26:47,472 --> 00:26:50,509 # When it comes to dreams 360 00:26:50,559 --> 00:26:55,351 # Love has always played the leading part 361 00:26:56,565 --> 00:27:01,559 # I don't play for dimes and nickels 362 00:27:02,863 --> 00:27:07,655 # I don't play to be the last 363 00:27:09,035 --> 00:27:11,609 # When it comes to love 364 00:27:11,663 --> 00:27:17,832 # I shoot first, shoot to kill 365 00:27:17,878 --> 00:27:23,299 # I aim straight for the heart 366 00:27:24,509 --> 00:27:29,171 # You won't forsake me 367 00:27:30,515 --> 00:27:35,723 # To heaven you'll take me 368 00:27:36,813 --> 00:27:42,021 # Don't try to wake me 369 00:27:43,278 --> 00:27:48,070 # I'm just lost in a dream 370 00:27:49,117 --> 00:27:54,112 # Don't try to wake me 371 00:27:54,998 --> 00:28:02,246 # Cos I'm just lost in a dream # 372 00:28:42,712 --> 00:28:45,464 This is my grandma's bedroom. 373 00:28:45,507 --> 00:28:48,212 That's your grandma's bed. 374 00:28:51,805 --> 00:28:54,925 What did you, er, tell your Dad? 375 00:28:54,975 --> 00:28:57,347 I'm staying with my friend, Pauline. 376 00:28:58,437 --> 00:29:00,097 Where's your gran? 377 00:29:01,106 --> 00:29:02,766 Tunbridge Wells. 378 00:29:05,819 --> 00:29:08,025 She's gonna leave me this house in her will. 379 00:29:41,897 --> 00:29:44,388 You all right in there? 380 00:29:44,441 --> 00:29:49,815 - I'll be out in a minute. - You've been in there bloody hours. 381 00:29:49,863 --> 00:29:52,069 You get into bed. 382 00:29:52,115 --> 00:29:54,191 I might fall asleep. 383 00:30:03,126 --> 00:30:04,751 Cor... 384 00:30:04,795 --> 00:30:06,455 look at you. 385 00:30:12,552 --> 00:30:13,584 Do you fancy me? 386 00:30:13,637 --> 00:30:16,554 Not half as much as you fancy yourself. 387 00:30:27,192 --> 00:30:29,231 What kind of cigarette is that? 388 00:30:29,277 --> 00:30:30,522 Du Maurier. 389 00:30:31,404 --> 00:30:34,109 - Really? - They're the best. 390 00:30:42,124 --> 00:30:43,832 Toothpaste. 391 00:30:43,875 --> 00:30:46,164 I'm going to make love to you. 392 00:30:46,211 --> 00:30:47,670 Do bloody hope so. 393 00:30:47,712 --> 00:30:49,835 Like you've never been made love to before. 394 00:30:49,881 --> 00:30:51,673 Shouldn't be too difficult. 395 00:30:51,716 --> 00:30:54,254 I'm going to do it to you... 396 00:30:54,302 --> 00:30:55,761 right now. 397 00:31:00,350 --> 00:31:04,051 I might have a baby. I just thought I'd mention it before we go too far. 398 00:31:04,104 --> 00:31:05,646 No chance. 399 00:31:05,689 --> 00:31:08,809 I'm not so dolly dumb as I look, you know. 400 00:31:08,859 --> 00:31:10,602 Don't worry. 401 00:31:10,652 --> 00:31:12,063 Dave thinks of everything. 402 00:31:12,112 --> 00:31:14,021 Oh, Durrex! 403 00:31:14,072 --> 00:31:16,528 - Durex. - My dad sells these, what are they for? 404 00:31:18,034 --> 00:31:19,694 To stop you having babies. 405 00:31:19,745 --> 00:31:20,989 What? 406 00:31:22,289 --> 00:31:24,365 Crafty bugger! 407 00:31:24,416 --> 00:31:26,574 No wonder he hides them under the counter. 408 00:31:27,919 --> 00:31:29,877 Ugh! 409 00:31:29,921 --> 00:31:31,997 You don't have to eat them, do you? 410 00:31:32,048 --> 00:31:33,922 (Laughs) No. 411 00:31:33,967 --> 00:31:37,051 They're plonkers. What the Yanks call condoms. 412 00:31:37,095 --> 00:31:40,796 You've been done mate. There's not one in this packet. 413 00:31:40,849 --> 00:31:42,391 That's cos I'm wearing it. 414 00:31:44,853 --> 00:31:46,596 Are you? 415 00:31:49,566 --> 00:31:51,440 Yes, I am. 416 00:31:58,033 --> 00:32:01,153 Oh! So you are. 417 00:32:02,370 --> 00:32:04,446 Come on, Dave, quick, let's do it. 418 00:32:05,457 --> 00:32:09,834 - Hang on. - (Lynda laughs) 419 00:32:12,881 --> 00:32:15,502 - What are you laughing at? - I'm not, I'm not... 420 00:32:15,550 --> 00:32:17,839 (Carries on laughing) 421 00:32:21,932 --> 00:32:25,632 Ooh, ow! 422 00:32:26,019 --> 00:32:28,593 (Grunts) 423 00:32:30,107 --> 00:32:32,858 What do we do now? 424 00:32:32,901 --> 00:32:35,226 Oh, Lynda... 425 00:32:35,278 --> 00:32:37,318 Any more fares... 426 00:32:37,364 --> 00:32:38,395 please! 427 00:32:43,412 --> 00:32:45,451 Oh. 428 00:32:47,040 --> 00:32:48,071 That was quick. 429 00:32:48,125 --> 00:32:49,702 Did you like it? 430 00:32:49,751 --> 00:32:52,040 Oh, it was nice, but, um, 431 00:32:52,087 --> 00:32:53,711 quicker than I expected. 432 00:32:53,755 --> 00:32:54,834 Don't worry. 433 00:32:54,881 --> 00:32:56,541 Is it always as quick as that? 434 00:32:56,591 --> 00:32:59,296 No, don't worry, you'll get the hang of it. 435 00:33:00,303 --> 00:33:02,379 We've got all night. 436 00:33:04,141 --> 00:33:05,849 That's good. 437 00:33:05,892 --> 00:33:08,846 Then you'd better swallow another one of these. 438 00:33:52,689 --> 00:33:53,768 What was that? 439 00:33:58,528 --> 00:34:00,854 (Knock) 440 00:34:00,906 --> 00:34:02,863 Oh, my God, who is it? 441 00:34:02,908 --> 00:34:05,992 - Bloomin' heck! - Dave, who is it? 442 00:34:06,036 --> 00:34:07,150 It's my dad! 443 00:34:07,204 --> 00:34:09,362 Wait a second. 444 00:34:09,414 --> 00:34:11,039 (Doorbell) 445 00:34:11,083 --> 00:34:13,075 If it's my dad, tell him I'm not here! 446 00:34:13,126 --> 00:34:14,289 (Man) David! 447 00:34:14,336 --> 00:34:15,534 It's me uncle. 448 00:34:15,587 --> 00:34:17,580 (Man) Are you in there, David? Oh, my God! 449 00:34:17,631 --> 00:34:20,122 - I'll have to let him in. - No! 450 00:34:20,175 --> 00:34:21,550 - Under, quick. - What?! 451 00:34:21,593 --> 00:34:22,968 Get under the bed. 452 00:34:23,011 --> 00:34:24,553 Come on quick! 453 00:34:24,596 --> 00:34:25,759 He's got a key. 454 00:34:25,806 --> 00:34:28,676 If he's got a key, what's he knocking on the bloody door for? 455 00:34:28,725 --> 00:34:30,848 (Man) You up there, David? 456 00:34:39,528 --> 00:34:41,853 What you doing in your grandmother's bed? 457 00:34:41,905 --> 00:34:43,364 (Dave) What's it look like? 458 00:34:43,406 --> 00:34:45,648 Does your grandma know you're sleeping in her bed? 459 00:34:45,700 --> 00:34:46,945 (Dave) Course she does. 460 00:34:46,993 --> 00:34:50,409 If she comes back and finds you in her bed, there'll be trouble. 461 00:34:50,455 --> 00:34:53,373 - (Dave) Yeah, all right, so what? - Mitch! 462 00:34:53,417 --> 00:34:56,868 I've been given to understand you brought a girl home here last night. 463 00:34:56,920 --> 00:34:58,118 (Dave) What? 464 00:34:58,171 --> 00:35:00,579 - Mitch! - (Dave) Who told you that? 465 00:35:01,633 --> 00:35:03,590 Never you mind. 466 00:35:03,635 --> 00:35:07,763 - (Dave) I went dancing last night. - At the Rex. 467 00:35:07,806 --> 00:35:11,673 (Dave) but I never brought no girl home, Uncle Brian, not me. 468 00:35:11,726 --> 00:35:13,766 I wouldn't dream of such a thing, Uncle Brian. 469 00:35:13,812 --> 00:35:15,436 (Brian) I should hope not. 470 00:35:16,606 --> 00:35:20,984 You should be up, this time of day. You should be out doing something. 471 00:35:21,027 --> 00:35:22,985 (Dave) Where have you been, church? 472 00:35:23,029 --> 00:35:24,856 (Uncle Brian) Taking the dog for a walk. 473 00:35:24,906 --> 00:35:27,362 Keeping an eye on things. 474 00:35:27,409 --> 00:35:30,860 - The bloody dog's got one of your plonkers! - I know! 475 00:36:12,829 --> 00:36:15,071 - Come on, for God's sake. - (Doorbell) 476 00:36:15,123 --> 00:36:17,199 - Sorry. - Your dad in? 477 00:36:18,168 --> 00:36:20,457 - What do you want? - Dad in? 478 00:36:20,504 --> 00:36:23,125 No. He's not back yet. 479 00:36:23,173 --> 00:36:25,498 Not back yet? Do you mind if I come in? 480 00:36:25,550 --> 00:36:28,468 Stand there like a bloody dummy, I don't care. 481 00:37:02,879 --> 00:37:04,290 I don't know where he is. 482 00:37:05,424 --> 00:37:07,297 I never said you did. 483 00:37:08,468 --> 00:37:11,173 So what are you staring at, then? 484 00:37:13,640 --> 00:37:18,883 You, er... You gonna take up hairdressing like your dad? 485 00:37:18,937 --> 00:37:20,312 No, thanks. 486 00:37:20,856 --> 00:37:23,773 - Reckon you could give me a trim? - Get the pudding basin. 487 00:37:23,817 --> 00:37:25,477 I'll give it a try. 488 00:37:26,486 --> 00:37:28,977 So, you're the troublesome one eh? 489 00:37:29,030 --> 00:37:31,319 - What do you mean? - (Mimics) What do you mean? 490 00:37:31,366 --> 00:37:33,774 That's what your dad says. 491 00:37:33,827 --> 00:37:35,820 Says you're a troublesome bugger. 492 00:37:35,871 --> 00:37:38,362 He can't wait to get rid of you. 493 00:37:45,881 --> 00:37:47,458 Why are you limping? 494 00:37:47,507 --> 00:37:49,583 What do you mean? 495 00:37:50,802 --> 00:37:53,720 You got something the matter with your leg? 496 00:37:53,764 --> 00:37:55,174 No, why? 497 00:37:58,727 --> 00:38:01,728 You got something the matter with yours? 498 00:38:01,772 --> 00:38:04,060 I don't think so, no. 499 00:38:05,358 --> 00:38:07,896 Think you're it, don't you, hm? 500 00:38:07,944 --> 00:38:09,797 - What do you mean? - (Mimics) What do you mean? 501 00:38:09,821 --> 00:38:12,277 Troublesome bugger. 502 00:38:12,324 --> 00:38:14,447 Think you're God's gift, don't you? 503 00:38:14,493 --> 00:38:17,612 I think I'm all right, thank you very much. 504 00:38:20,791 --> 00:38:23,282 I think you're all the same. 505 00:38:24,669 --> 00:38:26,958 Don't know what you've got it for. 506 00:38:29,049 --> 00:38:31,754 All you young girls... 507 00:38:31,802 --> 00:38:34,719 you're scared... 508 00:38:34,763 --> 00:38:36,886 all talk. 509 00:38:36,932 --> 00:38:40,348 Scared of a real man, ain't you? Eh? 510 00:38:40,393 --> 00:38:42,635 You bugger. 511 00:38:42,687 --> 00:38:45,178 You dirty bugger. 512 00:38:45,232 --> 00:38:48,268 Where's your sister? Eh? 513 00:38:48,318 --> 00:38:51,402 Girl Guides, she's gone to Girl Guides. 514 00:38:53,073 --> 00:38:54,697 (Door opening) 515 00:38:54,741 --> 00:38:57,197 I'll see you later out the back when the pub's shut. 516 00:38:57,244 --> 00:38:58,654 That's what you think. 517 00:38:58,703 --> 00:39:00,945 Hubert! 518 00:39:00,997 --> 00:39:03,037 Oh, Eric, how did we do? 519 00:39:03,083 --> 00:39:05,870 - Not so bad, not so bad. - I want a word with you. 520 00:39:05,919 --> 00:39:07,710 - I'm going out. - Are you? 521 00:39:08,547 --> 00:39:11,916 Great Eastern, Blue Boy, Tee's Delight. On the nose, cross doubles and a treble. 522 00:39:11,967 --> 00:39:15,300 - Every one a winner. - Very nice, very nice. 523 00:39:15,345 --> 00:39:16,970 (Lynda) Very nice. 524 00:39:19,975 --> 00:39:21,469 Here... 525 00:39:21,518 --> 00:39:24,270 sixteen pounds there. 526 00:39:24,312 --> 00:39:28,559 Seven and... six. 527 00:39:28,608 --> 00:39:30,233 You're a toff. Here. 528 00:39:30,277 --> 00:39:32,981 - Oh, thanks. - Stay for a drink? 529 00:39:33,029 --> 00:39:35,651 Oh, no, no, got to push on. (Lynda) Got to push on. 530 00:39:35,699 --> 00:39:37,526 - Come on, parrot. - Parrot. 531 00:39:37,576 --> 00:39:40,695 - Show the man to the door. - Yes, Dad. 532 00:39:42,080 --> 00:39:44,322 - She's a lovely girl, isn't she? - You think so? 533 00:39:44,374 --> 00:39:46,616 - Oh, yeah, lovely girl. - Then make me an offer. 534 00:39:46,668 --> 00:39:48,874 Eh? (Laughs) 535 00:39:48,920 --> 00:39:50,083 Ha ha. 536 00:39:50,130 --> 00:39:53,047 Make me an offer! No reasonable offer refused. 537 00:39:53,091 --> 00:39:55,713 - Half a dollar, on the nose? - Done. 538 00:39:55,761 --> 00:39:57,587 (Both laugh) 539 00:40:03,727 --> 00:40:06,728 - Hope your finger stinks. - I'll see you later. 540 00:40:06,772 --> 00:40:08,848 Cock off. 541 00:40:15,030 --> 00:40:16,572 Hey! 542 00:40:17,908 --> 00:40:20,114 Hey! Where do you think you're going? 543 00:40:20,160 --> 00:40:21,191 Out! 544 00:40:21,244 --> 00:40:23,154 - Oh, no, you're not. - Oh, yes, I am. 545 00:40:23,205 --> 00:40:25,660 You're not, I'm telling you, you're not. 546 00:40:25,707 --> 00:40:27,118 You stay in for a change. 547 00:40:27,167 --> 00:40:29,575 I stay in, look after boring you know who, 548 00:40:29,628 --> 00:40:31,953 you go to the pub or club... lovely. 549 00:40:32,005 --> 00:40:33,036 Wrong. Freemasons. 550 00:40:33,090 --> 00:40:34,667 Same thing. Yap, yap, yap, yap. 551 00:40:34,716 --> 00:40:37,883 Bit of this, bit of that, then on to the pub or club with Long John Silver. 552 00:40:37,928 --> 00:40:39,552 It's all bloody boozing. 553 00:40:39,596 --> 00:40:43,380 Lynda, I don't want to hear it, I won't have that kind of talk! Do you hear? 554 00:40:43,433 --> 00:40:46,683 Get rid of me then. Make me an offer, ha ha. 555 00:40:46,728 --> 00:40:49,219 You keep away from bus conductors. 556 00:40:50,315 --> 00:40:53,067 Bus conductor! Look at you, that's just about your... 557 00:40:53,110 --> 00:40:54,901 I'm ashamed to be your father. 558 00:40:54,945 --> 00:40:57,021 Oh, cock off! 559 00:40:58,698 --> 00:41:00,656 Hey! You're not too old madam! 560 00:41:00,700 --> 00:41:01,945 Remember that! 561 00:41:50,792 --> 00:41:54,042 - Your bike's on fire. - Up your bum! 562 00:42:12,564 --> 00:42:15,684 You'll have to wait a bloody long time, Mr Stinky Finger, 563 00:42:15,734 --> 00:42:17,976 parrot chops, Long John Silver. 564 00:42:34,127 --> 00:42:40,379 # Up your bum, up your bum, up your bum, up your bum # 565 00:42:46,056 --> 00:42:48,298 Up your bum, Mr Long John Silver. 566 00:42:53,271 --> 00:42:57,139 # Up your bum, up your bum 567 00:42:57,192 --> 00:42:59,683 # Up... your... bum 568 00:43:01,655 --> 00:43:03,149 (Loudly) # Up your bum 569 00:43:03,198 --> 00:43:04,657 # Up your bum, up your bum 570 00:43:04,699 --> 00:43:07,985 # Up your bum, up your bum, bum, bum, bum, bum, bum 571 00:43:08,036 --> 00:43:11,487 # Up your bum, up your bum! 572 00:43:11,540 --> 00:43:15,668 # Up your bum, up your bum, up your bum! 573 00:43:15,710 --> 00:43:16,909 # Up your bum! 574 00:43:16,962 --> 00:43:19,797 # Up your bum, up your bum! 575 00:43:19,840 --> 00:43:22,841 # Up your bum, up your bum! Up your bum! 576 00:43:22,884 --> 00:43:25,589 # Up your bum! # 577 00:43:25,637 --> 00:43:27,713 What's going on down there? 578 00:43:27,764 --> 00:43:30,765 Just trying to find the cat, Mrs Fartley. 579 00:43:31,852 --> 00:43:33,678 Puss, puss, puss, puss, puss, puss. 580 00:43:33,728 --> 00:43:35,139 Oh! Ooh! 581 00:43:39,693 --> 00:43:42,148 - Next. - Two sixes ple... 582 00:43:43,780 --> 00:43:46,354 Can I have two sixes, please? 583 00:43:46,408 --> 00:43:47,902 Two sixes. 584 00:43:56,209 --> 00:43:58,416 Open or closed? 585 00:43:58,462 --> 00:44:00,585 Er, open please. 586 00:44:10,015 --> 00:44:12,340 Two sixes, a shilling please. 587 00:44:12,392 --> 00:44:17,813 - Sorry I haven't got anything, er, bigger. - No bother, we can use the change. 588 00:44:19,024 --> 00:44:20,483 Next. 589 00:44:21,234 --> 00:44:24,899 (Man) I want two cod and fours, a cod and six, a plaice and six 590 00:44:24,946 --> 00:44:27,520 two threes, three fours and a couple of sixes. 591 00:44:28,366 --> 00:44:29,647 All with crispy bits. 592 00:44:30,285 --> 00:44:32,527 - Open or closed? - Closed. 593 00:44:36,666 --> 00:44:38,706 Two cod and four, a cod and six, 594 00:44:38,752 --> 00:44:41,457 - what else? - A plaice and six, 595 00:44:41,505 --> 00:44:44,506 two threes, three fours and a couple of sixes, 596 00:44:44,549 --> 00:44:46,542 - all with crispy bits. - Please! 597 00:44:46,593 --> 00:44:47,838 Please. 598 00:45:54,745 --> 00:45:55,907 Cock off. 599 00:46:01,543 --> 00:46:03,951 Dave? 600 00:46:05,964 --> 00:46:08,455 I'll see you later. 601 00:46:13,638 --> 00:46:15,133 Hello, Lynda. 602 00:46:18,059 --> 00:46:20,597 There, you bugger, that's for you. 603 00:46:20,645 --> 00:46:22,971 Lynda, I'm sorry. 604 00:46:23,023 --> 00:46:25,728 Too bloody late. 605 00:46:54,096 --> 00:46:57,215 (Woman laughs) 606 00:47:10,278 --> 00:47:12,983 (Indistinct speech, woman giggles) 607 00:47:23,166 --> 00:47:25,040 (Woman) Ooh! 608 00:47:39,224 --> 00:47:41,797 Hello, it's me, troublesome bugger, remember? 609 00:47:41,852 --> 00:47:44,769 - About bloody time. - Cheeky sod. 610 00:47:44,813 --> 00:47:49,107 - What are you hanging about here for? - Collecting bets. 611 00:47:49,151 --> 00:47:51,227 Come and stand over by this wall. 612 00:47:51,278 --> 00:47:53,769 Shh. This way. 613 00:47:55,490 --> 00:47:57,364 Come on! 614 00:48:00,412 --> 00:48:01,491 Come on, hurry up. 615 00:48:13,842 --> 00:48:15,918 Have you got a match? 616 00:48:36,406 --> 00:48:38,897 Can I have my matches back? 617 00:48:38,950 --> 00:48:41,026 Mr Mingy. 618 00:48:49,961 --> 00:48:51,586 What's this? 619 00:48:51,630 --> 00:48:53,254 There. 620 00:48:55,092 --> 00:48:56,918 How many you had on there? 621 00:48:56,968 --> 00:48:58,842 Oh, a few. 622 00:48:59,930 --> 00:49:02,053 - How many bus conductors? - Oh, loads. 623 00:49:02,099 --> 00:49:05,432 I'm not fussy, that's why I'm here with you. 624 00:49:06,812 --> 00:49:10,311 - So, you had a bust-up with your boyfriend. - Word gets round quick. 625 00:49:10,357 --> 00:49:12,599 All the little tongues go clack, clack, clack. 626 00:49:15,112 --> 00:49:16,440 What's all this then? 627 00:49:16,988 --> 00:49:19,147 I come here to sleep, 628 00:49:19,199 --> 00:49:22,200 to escape my dad and boring bloody sister. 629 00:49:22,244 --> 00:49:23,904 Who with? 630 00:49:26,498 --> 00:49:28,158 You. 631 00:49:34,339 --> 00:49:36,296 What you got down there, then? 632 00:49:36,341 --> 00:49:39,461 - Don't know, have to have a look. - (Mimics) Have a look? 633 00:49:57,404 --> 00:49:59,693 Do you love me? 634 00:49:59,739 --> 00:50:02,527 No, I don't love anybody, 635 00:50:02,576 --> 00:50:04,652 not even meself. 636 00:50:08,248 --> 00:50:09,826 Bloody hell. 637 00:50:09,875 --> 00:50:11,120 Come on. 638 00:50:32,022 --> 00:50:34,513 - Think you're it, don't you? - You said that before. 639 00:50:34,566 --> 00:50:35,597 Then I must be right. 640 00:50:35,650 --> 00:50:39,814 You don't know how lucky you are, I'm practically a virgin. 641 00:50:45,494 --> 00:50:47,570 You've still got your pants on. 642 00:50:47,621 --> 00:50:49,079 Not for long. 643 00:50:56,213 --> 00:50:57,493 (Door opens) 644 00:50:57,547 --> 00:50:59,125 Oh, my God, it's my dad. 645 00:50:59,174 --> 00:51:00,965 - It's my dad! - (Whispers) Quiet! 646 00:51:10,936 --> 00:51:12,181 Oh! 647 00:51:12,229 --> 00:51:14,470 I'm very sorry, madam, the, er... 648 00:51:14,523 --> 00:51:17,607 the gate was open and I thought you might have intruders. 649 00:51:18,276 --> 00:51:20,352 Beg your pardon. 650 00:51:22,572 --> 00:51:25,028 Oh my God, bloody hell. 651 00:51:25,075 --> 00:51:28,360 If he wakes my dad, we're both dead! 652 00:51:28,412 --> 00:51:30,451 I thought it was him, I really did. 653 00:51:31,164 --> 00:51:34,165 (Whispers) Don't light the candle, if he come out here we're dead. 654 00:51:34,209 --> 00:51:36,118 Shut up and come down here. 655 00:51:36,169 --> 00:51:38,577 - Oh, my heart. - Come here. 656 00:51:46,096 --> 00:51:50,343 I'm shaking like a bag of jelly, can you feel? We left the bloody gate open. 657 00:51:50,392 --> 00:51:52,847 What's the worry? Forget it. 658 00:51:52,894 --> 00:51:56,310 - I thought it was him. - What's it matter? 659 00:51:57,399 --> 00:52:00,649 I can take care of your old man you take care of mine. 660 00:52:00,694 --> 00:52:04,478 - Oh, thank God it wasn't him. - What's it matter? 661 00:52:04,531 --> 00:52:06,570 - He don't care. - Who? 662 00:52:06,616 --> 00:52:10,400 Your dad. Can't wait to get shut of you. 663 00:52:10,454 --> 00:52:12,695 (Laughs) Half a dollar. 664 00:52:12,748 --> 00:52:17,041 - That's what you think. - That's what I know. 665 00:52:17,085 --> 00:52:20,454 - What do you mean? - (Mimics) What do you mean? 666 00:52:20,505 --> 00:52:25,879 He told me. He can't wait to get rid of you. 667 00:52:25,927 --> 00:52:30,554 Says you're a bloody nuisance, which you are. 668 00:52:30,599 --> 00:52:35,011 He's fed up looking after you. 669 00:52:35,061 --> 00:52:38,395 Big girl like you, should be looking after yourself. 670 00:52:39,483 --> 00:52:42,602 So what if he does come in here? I don't care. 671 00:52:43,653 --> 00:52:45,527 Mm? 672 00:52:45,572 --> 00:52:46,817 Can't do it now. 673 00:52:46,865 --> 00:52:48,774 - Why not? - I'm scared. 674 00:52:48,825 --> 00:52:52,408 - You're not leaving here until you do. - You have to wear a plonker. 675 00:52:52,454 --> 00:52:53,948 Uh-uh. 676 00:52:55,040 --> 00:52:56,534 I'm not doing it unless you do. 677 00:52:56,583 --> 00:52:59,999 - You don't know what you're missing. - No plonker, no nookie. 678 00:53:00,045 --> 00:53:03,628 Look, I'm an expert, I know what I'm doing, I'll look after you. 679 00:53:03,673 --> 00:53:06,211 Look, I'm a cowboy, didn't you know that, eh? 680 00:53:06,259 --> 00:53:08,964 The best bare-back riders in town. 681 00:53:17,354 --> 00:53:21,517 # There's some cotton thread and needles for the folks away up yonder 682 00:53:21,566 --> 00:53:24,900 # A shovel for a miner who left his home to wander 683 00:53:24,945 --> 00:53:28,989 # Some rheumatism pills for the settlers in the hills 684 00:53:29,032 --> 00:53:33,824 # Get along, mule! Get along # 685 00:53:34,579 --> 00:53:41,246 Big finish. # Get along, mule, get along! # 686 00:53:44,798 --> 00:53:46,874 (Cheers) 687 00:53:56,143 --> 00:53:58,847 That was wonderful! Truly wonderful. 688 00:53:58,895 --> 00:54:01,565 I have to give you a big kiss for that. 689 00:54:02,149 --> 00:54:03,940 Come here! 690 00:54:07,320 --> 00:54:11,188 - You should be a professional. - Oh, I am, I am. 691 00:54:11,241 --> 00:54:13,317 You too, Harry. 692 00:54:14,786 --> 00:54:16,328 Any more, any more? 693 00:54:26,256 --> 00:54:28,664 What about you, Auntie Millie? 694 00:54:28,717 --> 00:54:31,504 Oh, I suppose so, why not? 695 00:54:31,553 --> 00:54:34,044 You make me sound like some old woman. 696 00:54:35,140 --> 00:54:36,682 You too, Joan. 697 00:54:36,725 --> 00:54:39,216 Oh, I thought you'd have to have a go at me. 698 00:54:40,103 --> 00:54:42,179 He's not fussy. 699 00:54:44,107 --> 00:54:45,767 And... 700 00:54:45,817 --> 00:54:48,937 the lovely Lynda. 701 00:54:49,696 --> 00:54:51,985 (Laughs) 702 00:54:53,366 --> 00:54:55,774 Isn't she lovely? 703 00:54:56,870 --> 00:54:58,150 Lovely. 704 00:55:00,040 --> 00:55:03,041 # In, out, in, out, shake it all about 705 00:55:03,085 --> 00:55:06,335 # You do the hokey cokey and you turn around 706 00:55:06,379 --> 00:55:09,546 # And that's what it's all about # 707 00:55:09,591 --> 00:55:12,082 # Oh, hokey cokey cokey! 708 00:55:13,178 --> 00:55:15,467 # Oh, hokey cokey cokey! 709 00:55:16,139 --> 00:55:18,891 # Oh, hokey cokey cokey! 710 00:55:18,934 --> 00:55:22,350 # Knees bend, arms stretch, ra ra ra! # 711 00:56:36,887 --> 00:56:38,678 Your mother wouldn't approve. 712 00:56:39,556 --> 00:56:41,881 Pity she's not here to say. 713 00:56:48,523 --> 00:56:50,599 She'd have shown you the door. 714 00:56:50,650 --> 00:56:52,726 I've seen it. 715 00:57:06,666 --> 00:57:08,742 (Sighs) 716 00:57:13,632 --> 00:57:15,708 I'm a respected man, Lynda. 717 00:57:18,720 --> 00:57:20,796 A freemason. 718 00:57:22,766 --> 00:57:24,842 I know that doesn't mean much to you. 719 00:57:26,978 --> 00:57:29,054 Why should it? 720 00:57:32,067 --> 00:57:36,065 I'm not here to be made a bloody fool of, Lynda. 721 00:57:37,072 --> 00:57:39,148 There's such thing as dignity. 722 00:57:44,246 --> 00:57:46,322 (Sighs) 723 00:57:48,667 --> 00:57:50,743 You seem to think you're smart 724 00:57:52,879 --> 00:57:55,453 but I'm afraid you'll end up the bloody fool. 725 00:57:59,219 --> 00:58:01,295 Just don't do it in my house. 726 00:58:02,347 --> 00:58:05,383 I don't want to be witness to that kind of spectacle. 727 00:58:05,434 --> 00:58:07,510 What about Maisie Mathews? 728 00:58:15,610 --> 00:58:18,018 I'm a man. 729 00:58:30,542 --> 00:58:33,543 I don't know why you've turned out the way you have. 730 00:58:33,587 --> 00:58:35,663 (Whispers) God knows! 731 00:58:38,717 --> 00:58:40,793 You're... You're in such a rush. 732 00:58:43,263 --> 00:58:45,339 Why be in such a rush about it all? 733 01:01:24,925 --> 01:01:26,123 I've left him. 734 01:01:27,886 --> 01:01:29,879 - Who? - Who? Him! 735 01:01:30,347 --> 01:01:32,920 And my boring bloody sister. 736 01:01:32,974 --> 01:01:34,884 She said she wants to join the army. 737 01:01:34,935 --> 01:01:38,185 I thought she meant the Sally Army, but she means the army. 738 01:01:42,275 --> 01:01:44,980 - How'd you get in? - It's not locked, is it? 739 01:01:47,531 --> 01:01:50,152 You said you wanted me through the night. You've got me now. 740 01:01:50,200 --> 01:01:52,489 Father's blessing. Good riddance. 741 01:01:55,539 --> 01:01:57,163 Can bugger off if you want. 742 01:02:04,673 --> 01:02:06,749 Now... 743 01:02:35,537 --> 01:02:37,862 (Sighs) Come here. 744 01:02:54,431 --> 01:02:56,507 Cuddle me, please. 745 01:02:59,102 --> 01:03:01,178 I'll clear up. 746 01:03:02,647 --> 01:03:04,723 It's a bloody mess in here. 747 01:03:06,777 --> 01:03:08,853 You stink of booze and fags. 748 01:03:14,409 --> 01:03:16,568 You stink of chip fat. 749 01:03:19,664 --> 01:03:21,740 It's this. 750 01:03:21,875 --> 01:03:24,200 No, it's not. 751 01:03:24,252 --> 01:03:26,328 Take it off. 752 01:03:49,236 --> 01:03:51,312 You'd better take this off and all. 753 01:03:54,282 --> 01:03:58,280 I can just fit you in before the Novices Handicap at Kempton. 754 01:03:58,328 --> 01:03:59,787 (Sobs) 755 01:03:59,830 --> 01:04:02,071 Oh, come on, come on. What's all the fuss? 756 01:04:04,960 --> 01:04:07,996 Hold me, please. Just hold me. 757 01:04:08,046 --> 01:04:09,955 What's the matter? 758 01:04:10,006 --> 01:04:12,628 Gone off it, have you? Not going to do it any more? 759 01:04:12,676 --> 01:04:14,300 No! 760 01:04:14,344 --> 01:04:16,835 We'll have to ring the papers about that, won't we? 761 01:04:18,473 --> 01:04:20,964 - I'll go to Bournemouth. - You what? 762 01:04:21,017 --> 01:04:23,805 You what? Bournemouth. 763 01:04:24,938 --> 01:04:27,310 If you don't want me, I'll run away to bloody Bournemouth. 764 01:04:27,357 --> 01:04:29,397 Course I want you. 765 01:04:29,443 --> 01:04:32,776 They don't have fish and chip shops in Bournemouth, you know. 766 01:04:32,821 --> 01:04:33,984 Or sheds. 767 01:04:34,030 --> 01:04:36,356 Now, what would you do without fish and chips, 768 01:04:36,408 --> 01:04:38,531 sheds and my old man, eh? 769 01:04:55,635 --> 01:04:57,961 - (Lynda sobs) - Come on. 770 01:04:58,013 --> 01:05:00,052 - Come on. - (Sobs) 771 01:06:57,632 --> 01:06:59,424 Come on, lovey. 772 01:07:27,871 --> 01:07:29,947 (# F�r Elise) 773 01:07:39,883 --> 01:07:42,504 Hold it still, ladies. Stay still. 774 01:07:44,054 --> 01:07:46,130 Hold it just like that, ladies. 775 01:07:46,181 --> 01:07:47,296 Very still. 776 01:07:47,349 --> 01:07:48,926 Thank you. 777 01:07:48,975 --> 01:07:50,351 - (Clears throat) - Oh! 778 01:08:10,122 --> 01:08:13,870 - Thank you, sir. - Thank you. 779 01:08:13,917 --> 01:08:17,001 - Thank you, madam. - Thank you so much. 780 01:08:23,844 --> 01:08:25,089 Can I help you, sir? 781 01:08:26,930 --> 01:08:28,128 Cup of tea, please. 782 01:08:28,181 --> 01:08:30,174 We don't serve cups of tea, sir. 783 01:08:30,225 --> 01:08:32,716 Only pots, that's teapots, not piss pots, 784 01:08:32,769 --> 01:08:34,845 although we can always make exceptions. 785 01:08:34,896 --> 01:08:37,304 If you want a cup of tea you must go to the caff 786 01:08:37,357 --> 01:08:38,638 with all the other riffraff. 787 01:08:38,692 --> 01:08:41,099 - This is a caf�. - Pot of tea then. 788 01:08:41,153 --> 01:08:42,351 (Whispers) Smart arse. 789 01:08:42,404 --> 01:08:45,689 - Language. - And a bit of cake. 790 01:08:47,409 --> 01:08:48,523 Or a bun. 791 01:08:48,577 --> 01:08:51,494 Bath bun, Chelsea bun, currant bun, honey bun, up your bum. 792 01:08:51,538 --> 01:08:53,531 Fairy buns, seed cake, cherry cake, fruit cake, 793 01:08:53,582 --> 01:08:56,203 ginger cake, Eccles cake, teacake, lemon cakes, 794 01:08:56,251 --> 01:08:57,291 Swiss rolls, dinkie rolls, 795 01:08:57,335 --> 01:09:00,621 jam sandwiches, macaroons, cheese straws and scones. 796 01:09:00,672 --> 01:09:02,416 I'll just have the tea. 797 01:09:02,466 --> 01:09:03,580 Please. 798 01:09:05,093 --> 01:09:07,169 - Please. - Thank you. 799 01:09:16,229 --> 01:09:18,388 - Him, there. Can you see? - Yeah. 800 01:09:18,440 --> 01:09:20,314 All right, serve him, will you, Vickie? 801 01:09:20,358 --> 01:09:24,605 And if he asks where I've gone, tell him I've gone to Singa-bloody-pore. 802 01:09:30,911 --> 01:09:33,318 Tea, sir. 803 01:09:33,371 --> 01:09:35,578 Where's the... Where's the other young lady? 804 01:09:35,624 --> 01:09:38,411 - Pardon? - Where's the waitress who took my order? 805 01:09:38,460 --> 01:09:41,544 Oh, you mean the waitress who took your order, sir. 806 01:09:41,588 --> 01:09:42,963 That's right. 807 01:09:43,006 --> 01:09:45,711 She's got an urgent call and had to leave, sir. 808 01:09:47,511 --> 01:09:49,587 Where to? 809 01:09:49,638 --> 01:09:51,096 Singa-bloody-pore, sir. 810 01:10:01,775 --> 01:10:03,851 (Lynda and Vickie laughing) 811 01:10:09,825 --> 01:10:12,066 There he is. 812 01:10:12,119 --> 01:10:14,740 There he is. There he is. 813 01:10:17,416 --> 01:10:20,370 He thinks I've gone to Singa-bloody-pore! 814 01:10:20,419 --> 01:10:22,495 (Both laugh) 815 01:10:23,755 --> 01:10:25,831 - Lynda! - (Giggling) 816 01:10:32,931 --> 01:10:34,805 Sh! 817 01:10:45,652 --> 01:10:47,479 Lynda. 818 01:10:48,864 --> 01:10:51,105 I wish he'd clear off. 819 01:10:53,326 --> 01:10:55,402 (Laughing) 820 01:10:57,789 --> 01:11:00,280 Go away! Clear off! 821 01:11:05,797 --> 01:11:08,169 Lynda! 822 01:11:11,178 --> 01:11:13,384 Lynda! 823 01:11:13,430 --> 01:11:16,715 Why don't you just bugger off? Go away! 824 01:11:16,767 --> 01:11:18,724 Can't you see where you're not wanted? 825 01:11:18,769 --> 01:11:21,141 I don't need none of you, just bugger off! 826 01:11:23,023 --> 01:11:25,099 Lyndie! 827 01:11:25,150 --> 01:11:28,768 Lyndie, oh, I say! Never called me Lyndie before. 828 01:11:28,820 --> 01:11:32,106 Must be after something. Ha, bloody, ha! 829 01:11:32,157 --> 01:11:33,948 But I miss you. I came to see you. 830 01:11:33,992 --> 01:11:37,575 - I bet I know what you're missing! - Look, you just cleared off! 831 01:11:37,621 --> 01:11:39,448 I come back, you'd gone. 832 01:11:39,498 --> 01:11:41,823 I thought you'd still be there, I really did. 833 01:11:41,875 --> 01:11:44,496 Oh... just bugger off, I don't want to think about it. 834 01:11:44,544 --> 01:11:47,581 What's to think about? Come on, I'll take you for a drink. 835 01:11:47,631 --> 01:11:50,336 - You're just after your oats. - And your mate. 836 01:11:50,383 --> 01:11:53,219 I'll take you both for a drink... a meal, if you want. 837 01:11:53,261 --> 01:11:55,550 Oh, look out, Vickie, he's after the two of us. 838 01:11:55,597 --> 01:11:58,551 - Ahh, I bet you're missing it as well. - Do you? 839 01:11:58,600 --> 01:12:00,972 How much? How much do you want to bet? 840 01:12:01,019 --> 01:12:02,928 I wouldn't want to take your money. 841 01:12:02,979 --> 01:12:04,723 Lynda up the duff, then, 842 01:12:04,773 --> 01:12:08,356 what odds do you put on that, eh, Mr Clever Dick, eh? 843 01:12:08,401 --> 01:12:12,446 Oh, look, that's shut his gob. That's put a crease in his brand-new suit! 844 01:12:12,489 --> 01:12:14,647 - I don't believe you. - Don't you? 845 01:12:14,699 --> 01:12:17,025 - You're joking! - Am I? 846 01:12:17,077 --> 01:12:19,235 I don't believe you. 847 01:12:19,287 --> 01:12:22,158 - How? - How what? 848 01:12:22,207 --> 01:12:23,867 How do you know? 849 01:12:23,917 --> 01:12:28,211 You're the one that should know! You put it up me, Mr Bareback Rider. 850 01:12:28,255 --> 01:12:31,421 You knew when you were gonna spunk. How the hell was I supposed to know? 851 01:12:31,466 --> 01:12:33,340 No, you soft cow, I mean how do you know? 852 01:12:33,385 --> 01:12:35,710 - Are you sure? - You're the one all eyes. 853 01:12:35,762 --> 01:12:38,514 - Look! Can't you see? - No, I can't. 854 01:12:38,557 --> 01:12:40,763 All you see is tits and arses. 855 01:12:41,726 --> 01:12:44,562 - Have you seen a doctor? - Huh! 856 01:12:44,604 --> 01:12:46,680 Then how do you know it's mine? 857 01:12:46,731 --> 01:12:50,776 If it walks with a limp and thinks with its prick, then it's yours. 858 01:12:50,819 --> 01:12:54,022 But how do you know? I don't know that, do I? 859 01:12:54,072 --> 01:12:56,646 - You stupid... - (Vickie) Lynda! 860 01:12:56,700 --> 01:12:58,159 - Get off! - Lynda! 861 01:12:58,201 --> 01:13:00,573 - Get off! - (Lynda) Get off of me! Get off! 862 01:13:00,662 --> 01:13:03,663 (Eric) Lynda! (Vickie) Lynda, stop it! 863 01:13:03,707 --> 01:13:05,865 (Lynda) Leave me alone! (Eric) Piss off, you... 864 01:13:05,917 --> 01:13:08,373 (Lynda) Leave... me... alone! 865 01:13:08,420 --> 01:13:10,496 (Eric) Piss off! 866 01:13:12,966 --> 01:13:14,508 Whoops-a-daisy. 867 01:13:14,551 --> 01:13:16,010 Lynda, come on. 868 01:13:16,052 --> 01:13:18,129 Here we are. 869 01:13:42,370 --> 01:13:44,446 Where's the paper? 870 01:14:00,931 --> 01:14:03,089 (Whispers) This is it. 871 01:14:12,651 --> 01:14:14,809 Doesn't look too bad. 872 01:14:16,905 --> 01:14:19,277 What does she do? Did Doris say? 873 01:14:19,324 --> 01:14:22,076 No. 874 01:14:22,119 --> 01:14:26,330 - Is it knitting needles and all that? - I don't know. 875 01:14:29,668 --> 01:14:31,744 How much? 876 01:14:39,970 --> 01:14:42,176 Where am I gonna get that sort of money? 877 01:14:51,857 --> 01:14:54,015 Come on, let's go and have a cup of tea. 878 01:15:14,296 --> 01:15:16,965 - (Crash) - Oh, sorry madam. I'm sorry. 879 01:15:23,930 --> 01:15:25,259 Yes, what do you want? 880 01:15:27,851 --> 01:15:29,049 Can I help you, sir? 881 01:15:29,102 --> 01:15:31,247 From the moment you walked through that door I thought, 882 01:15:31,271 --> 01:15:33,513 "That's my daughter and she's a slut!" 883 01:15:33,565 --> 01:15:34,917 Thank you, sir. Will that be all, sir? 884 01:15:34,941 --> 01:15:37,729 Don't be clever, Lynda. From where I'm sitting you don't look clever. 885 01:15:37,778 --> 01:15:39,589 I know why you're here and I don't want to discuss it. 886 01:15:39,613 --> 01:15:42,898 So, do you want a pot of tea or would you just prefer to clear off? 887 01:15:42,949 --> 01:15:45,108 - I'm disgusted, Lynda. - With lemon, sir? 888 01:15:45,160 --> 01:15:47,840 I thought I could have a perfectly reasonable conversation with you. 889 01:15:47,871 --> 01:15:50,907 - I thought I could come here and... - I don't want you here, I'm at work. 890 01:15:50,957 --> 01:15:53,519 And I've got Hermann Goebbels breathing down my neck, just clear off! 891 01:15:53,543 --> 01:15:57,208 I thought we could have a reasonable conversation but all I wanna do is clout you. 892 01:15:57,255 --> 01:15:59,295 (Lynda) Would you like a pot of tea first, sir? 893 01:15:59,341 --> 01:16:01,235 Listen to you and your mouth, look where it's got you. 894 01:16:01,259 --> 01:16:04,509 Dad, I can't discuss it. Will you just go away, I need this job! 895 01:16:04,554 --> 01:16:07,555 - You're going to need more than a job. - Oh, please, just bugger off! 896 01:16:07,599 --> 01:16:09,556 Is anything the matter, Miss Mansell? 897 01:16:09,601 --> 01:16:11,926 - Is everything to your satisfaction, sir? - No, it's not. 898 01:16:11,978 --> 01:16:14,207 (Mimics manager) Is everything to your satisfaction, sir? 899 01:16:14,231 --> 01:16:15,511 You see, what can you do? 900 01:16:15,565 --> 01:16:17,357 - How do you put up with it? - Oh, shut up! 901 01:16:17,400 --> 01:16:20,070 This is disgraceful. Go to the kitchen immediately, Miss Mansell. 902 01:16:20,112 --> 01:16:22,353 No, I won't go to the kitchen. Stuff the bloody kitchen. 903 01:16:22,405 --> 01:16:23,948 - Just watch your mouth! - Please! 904 01:16:23,990 --> 01:16:26,149 This is what it's like, you see, this is what you get. 905 01:16:26,201 --> 01:16:28,429 - Now you can begin to see my side of it. - Oh, please, just bugger off! 906 01:16:28,453 --> 01:16:29,514 - Now, please! - I said please. 907 01:16:29,538 --> 01:16:31,744 - Do you see? - Look, what is going on? 908 01:16:31,790 --> 01:16:33,829 - I've given her a lot of time... - Please, sir! 909 01:16:33,875 --> 01:16:35,702 - Made a lot of sacrifices. - Oh, God! 910 01:16:35,752 --> 01:16:39,667 - Though, God knows, you wouldn't think it. - What are you staring at, you old bag? 911 01:16:39,714 --> 01:16:42,336 Please. Mrs... Madam... please! 912 01:16:42,384 --> 01:16:44,293 - Well, she is an old bag! - That is enough! 913 01:16:44,344 --> 01:16:45,922 - Lynda! - Allow me to apologise. 914 01:16:45,971 --> 01:16:50,300 She whinges about everything. Yap, yap, yap, yap, yap, every bloody day. 915 01:16:50,350 --> 01:16:52,177 That is enough. Language, please! 916 01:16:52,227 --> 01:16:53,746 Well, it's true, what's wrong with the truth? 917 01:16:53,770 --> 01:16:55,929 You're fired! You are dismissed. 918 01:16:55,981 --> 01:16:57,392 - Get out! - No, I won't! 919 01:16:57,441 --> 01:17:00,014 This one goes around with his brown nose up in the air, 920 01:17:00,068 --> 01:17:02,773 down on the carpet, la-di-dah this, la-di-dah that. 921 01:17:02,821 --> 01:17:05,526 The cook spits in the buns and we all piss in the teapots. 922 01:17:05,574 --> 01:17:08,575 - That is enough. Out! - She's a bad lot, and that's the truth. 923 01:17:08,618 --> 01:17:10,741 Nothing but trouble, that's the way it's always been. 924 01:17:10,787 --> 01:17:13,907 - This is my father speaking. - Since she could speak, she's uttered filth. 925 01:17:13,957 --> 01:17:17,145 From the day she uttered her first word her tongue has caused nothing but trouble. 926 01:17:17,169 --> 01:17:18,960 - This is my father. - Sometimes I doubt it. 927 01:17:19,004 --> 01:17:22,669 - An insult to my dead mother. - I'm sorry but this cannot go on. 928 01:17:22,716 --> 01:17:26,416 I'm up the duff! That's what's up his nose! I'm pregnant! In the club! 929 01:17:26,470 --> 01:17:28,711 Right, that's it! That's enough! 930 01:17:28,764 --> 01:17:31,052 A man's willy has entered my person 931 01:17:31,099 --> 01:17:33,388 - and left a little visitor behind. - Get down! 932 01:17:33,435 --> 01:17:35,807 - This is a matter for the police. - This is the man 933 01:17:35,854 --> 01:17:37,847 - who once gave one to Gracie Fields. - Down! 934 01:17:37,898 --> 01:17:39,226 I'm calling the police. 935 01:17:39,274 --> 01:17:42,145 - A member of the British Legion. - Get down! 936 01:17:42,194 --> 01:17:45,360 - Am I the only one who does it? - This is not my daughter. 937 01:17:45,405 --> 01:17:47,314 - What do you lot do, eh? - Not my daughter. 938 01:17:47,365 --> 01:17:49,572 - What do you play with in bed at night? - I disown her! 939 01:17:49,618 --> 01:17:52,287 Hands up all those that like willies, I do! 940 01:17:53,330 --> 01:17:54,907 The police are coming. 941 01:17:54,956 --> 01:17:57,079 - Balls! - Ladies and Gentlemen... 942 01:17:57,125 --> 01:18:00,541 I would like to apologise for this disgraceful display... 943 01:18:00,587 --> 01:18:02,876 So what, I'm up the duff, who cares? 944 01:18:02,923 --> 01:18:05,414 - I will settle. - I like willies! 945 01:18:05,467 --> 01:18:09,334 - Get her down! - All these teas on me. Right? 946 01:18:09,387 --> 01:18:13,385 Sex! All of you! All you old bags look as if you could do with a nice bit of hot willy! 947 01:18:13,433 --> 01:18:17,763 - Get her down! - Sex! 948 01:18:17,813 --> 01:18:20,138 (Loud crash) 949 01:18:51,972 --> 01:18:55,804 (Boy) It's getting kind of close to the New Year and I'm feeling sentimental. 950 01:18:55,851 --> 01:18:58,852 I'm going to sing a song that means a lot to me and... 951 01:18:59,312 --> 01:19:00,475 somebody else. 952 01:19:00,522 --> 01:19:02,431 And if you don't like it that's just too bad. 953 01:19:02,482 --> 01:19:04,558 After all, I own the joint. 954 01:19:07,279 --> 01:19:11,407 # It had to be you 955 01:19:11,992 --> 01:19:16,737 # It had to be you 956 01:19:16,788 --> 01:19:19,196 # I wandered around 957 01:19:19,249 --> 01:19:25,334 # Finally found the somebody who 958 01:19:25,380 --> 01:19:29,757 # Could make me be true 959 01:19:29,801 --> 01:19:34,380 # Could make me be blue 960 01:19:34,431 --> 01:19:39,425 # And even be glad, just to be sad... # 961 01:19:39,478 --> 01:19:41,554 How long is it now? 962 01:19:43,023 --> 01:19:45,099 Three months, more or less. 963 01:19:46,401 --> 01:19:48,477 It's not too late. 964 01:19:49,571 --> 01:19:51,647 No. 965 01:19:53,867 --> 01:19:55,943 What happened? 966 01:19:57,496 --> 01:19:59,572 When? 967 01:19:59,623 --> 01:20:03,667 Your father came home very sorry for himself. Whatever happened? 968 01:20:04,836 --> 01:20:06,959 Silly bugger. 969 01:20:07,005 --> 01:20:10,041 I stood on a chair in the Paris Tea Rooms and shouted. 970 01:20:10,092 --> 01:20:13,710 I can't remember what I said. It was terrible. 971 01:20:14,596 --> 01:20:17,087 He offered to pay for everyone's teas. 972 01:20:19,684 --> 01:20:22,092 You didn't need to do that... 973 01:20:22,145 --> 01:20:24,221 not to your father. 974 01:20:26,858 --> 01:20:29,100 I'm not coming back, you know. 975 01:20:29,152 --> 01:20:31,228 No matter what. 976 01:20:32,823 --> 01:20:37,781 Where you gonna go then? Who's gonna want you with a baby? 977 01:20:37,828 --> 01:20:39,867 Where you gonna live? 978 01:20:39,913 --> 01:20:44,160 - Not in that dump. - Nobody's asking you to, my dear. 979 01:20:45,085 --> 01:20:48,869 Things like this don't happen in that sort of town. 980 01:20:48,922 --> 01:20:51,128 I can just see your father's face. 981 01:20:53,427 --> 01:20:56,178 Go down well at the Freemasons. 982 01:20:58,306 --> 01:21:02,304 He didn't have to stick with you, you know, when your mum died. 983 01:21:02,352 --> 01:21:04,428 Nor your sister. 984 01:21:04,479 --> 01:21:08,228 - My boring bloody sister. - Now, you leave her alone, she's all right. 985 01:21:10,193 --> 01:21:13,562 Thank God she's not like you. Two of you like that, my God! 986 01:21:15,240 --> 01:21:17,446 He could have put you in a home, you know. 987 01:21:19,035 --> 01:21:23,116 Not many men would have done what he did on his own with two young girls. 988 01:21:25,917 --> 01:21:29,369 - He didn't love me. - Oh, yes, he did. 989 01:21:29,421 --> 01:21:32,208 He didn't show it. 990 01:21:32,257 --> 01:21:35,958 You can't show that kind of thing, not in this day and age. 991 01:21:39,973 --> 01:21:42,725 You're a pretty young thing... 992 01:21:42,768 --> 01:21:45,175 you're funny, but you're pretty. 993 01:21:46,188 --> 01:21:50,731 You could get yourself a nice husband. Somebody who'd really look after you. 994 01:21:53,528 --> 01:21:55,272 Do you think? 995 01:21:55,322 --> 01:21:57,943 Yeah, I do. 996 01:21:57,991 --> 01:22:00,945 But not like that. 997 01:22:00,994 --> 01:22:03,912 Who's going to want you like that? 998 01:22:05,290 --> 01:22:07,366 It's not too late. Not yet. 999 01:22:10,212 --> 01:22:13,415 Would you know where to go if you wanted to get rid of it? 1000 01:22:14,716 --> 01:22:18,002 It's all right for you to say that. It's not you that has to do it. 1001 01:22:18,053 --> 01:22:20,923 No, that's right, Lyndie, you're right. 1002 01:22:27,104 --> 01:22:29,180 What if I had it? 1003 01:22:29,231 --> 01:22:31,307 Then have it adopted. 1004 01:22:33,235 --> 01:22:35,311 You must've thought about it. 1005 01:22:37,239 --> 01:22:39,065 You keep that kid and nobody'll want you. 1006 01:22:39,116 --> 01:22:42,781 Nobody'll want to know you, nobody'll want to own you. Nobody. 1007 01:22:44,830 --> 01:22:48,874 Forget the whole thing, bury it. Nobody need know a thing about it. 1008 01:22:51,169 --> 01:22:56,412 Christ, it's tough enough, you don't have to go round banging your head with a hammer. 1009 01:22:56,466 --> 01:22:58,542 Look at me. 1010 01:22:58,593 --> 01:23:03,588 Look at your father. Well, I'm hardly ancient, neither's he. 1011 01:23:03,640 --> 01:23:07,091 I lost Bill, he lost your mum and we're on our own, stuck! 1012 01:23:07,144 --> 01:23:09,220 There's always enough pain. 1013 01:23:10,647 --> 01:23:13,399 What about Maisie Mathews? 1014 01:23:13,442 --> 01:23:15,481 Well, why shouldn't he? 1015 01:23:15,527 --> 01:23:19,026 What's he expected to do the rest of his life? 1016 01:23:19,072 --> 01:23:21,148 I wish I had somebody. 1017 01:23:23,034 --> 01:23:26,653 I hope he used a plonker. I'd hate to see what'd come out of her. 1018 01:23:29,332 --> 01:23:32,037 That's good advice, coming from you. 1019 01:23:38,842 --> 01:23:41,511 You're gonna have to make your own mind up. 1020 01:23:41,553 --> 01:23:44,091 - I've got to go. - Not yet. 1021 01:23:44,139 --> 01:23:49,015 It's the buses. I spent ages waiting for you. 1022 01:23:49,060 --> 01:23:52,061 - I'm sorry. - Here. 1023 01:23:53,023 --> 01:23:55,514 Now, think about what I said. 1024 01:23:55,567 --> 01:23:57,856 You've got to look after yourself, Lyndie. 1025 01:23:58,695 --> 01:24:00,355 Here. 1026 01:24:02,824 --> 01:24:05,944 Would you know where to go if that's what you decided? 1027 01:24:10,582 --> 01:24:13,951 - To get rid of it? - If that's what you decided. 1028 01:24:15,837 --> 01:24:17,664 I could find out. 1029 01:24:19,549 --> 01:24:22,716 I'm going to go, so just you take care. 1030 01:26:34,184 --> 01:26:36,260 (Man) There you go. 1031 01:27:19,938 --> 01:27:22,014 Hello, you lot. Hello, Brian. 1032 01:28:05,192 --> 01:28:07,315 Yes, it's mine. 1033 01:28:07,861 --> 01:28:09,937 All mine. 1034 01:28:50,362 --> 01:28:52,438 (Doorbell) 1035 01:29:22,769 --> 01:29:26,103 # When it comes to dreams 1036 01:29:26,148 --> 01:29:30,774 # Love has always played a leading part 1037 01:29:31,611 --> 01:29:35,775 # I don't play for dimes and nickels 1038 01:29:36,658 --> 01:29:42,198 # I don't play to be the last 1039 01:29:42,247 --> 01:29:45,082 # When it comes to love 1040 01:29:45,125 --> 01:29:49,870 # I shoot first, shoot to kill 1041 01:29:49,921 --> 01:29:54,714 # I aim straight for the heart 1042 01:30:13,779 --> 01:30:16,104 # You won't 1043 01:30:16,156 --> 01:30:18,908 # Forsake me 1044 01:30:18,950 --> 01:30:21,620 # To heaven 1045 01:30:21,661 --> 01:30:23,737 # You take me 1046 01:30:24,790 --> 01:30:27,115 # Don't try 1047 01:30:27,167 --> 01:30:29,076 # To wake me 1048 01:30:29,127 --> 01:30:31,701 # I'm just lost in a dream 1049 01:30:31,755 --> 01:30:34,080 # You won't 1050 01:30:34,132 --> 01:30:36,706 # Forsake me 1051 01:30:36,760 --> 01:30:39,465 # To heaven 1052 01:30:39,513 --> 01:30:41,589 # You take me 1053 01:30:42,891 --> 01:30:45,014 # Don't try 1054 01:30:45,060 --> 01:30:46,768 # To wake me 1055 01:30:46,812 --> 01:30:49,350 # I'm just lost in a dream 1056 01:30:49,773 --> 01:30:51,849 # I'm just lost in a dream 1057 01:30:52,442 --> 01:31:00,402 # I'm just lost in a dream # 76710

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