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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,267 --> 00:00:03,360 Kids, in the spring of 2013... 2 00:00:03,436 --> 00:00:06,269 we were all tying up loose ends before the big wedding. 3 00:00:06,339 --> 00:00:08,398 I was right here in this very room... 4 00:00:08,475 --> 00:00:10,272 putting the finishing touches on the house. 5 00:00:13,947 --> 00:00:17,075 Oh, come on! 6 00:00:17,150 --> 00:00:20,210 Barney and Robin were wrapping up rehearsal for their first dance. 7 00:00:20,286 --> 00:00:22,754 - That was amazing. - We can do better. 8 00:00:22,822 --> 00:00:26,314 Back to one, everyone! Reload the cannons! We'll go again right away. 9 00:00:29,462 --> 00:00:32,590 And Lily and Marshall were packing for their year in Italy. 10 00:00:33,433 --> 00:00:36,129 Hello. 11 00:00:36,202 --> 00:00:38,534 How's my favorite daughter-in-law? 12 00:00:38,605 --> 00:00:40,505 Oh, things are a bit crazy here. 13 00:00:40,573 --> 00:00:42,438 We've got this big move to Rome coming up... 14 00:00:42,509 --> 00:00:46,240 and I-I just can't shake the feeling that I'm forgetting something, you know? 15 00:00:46,312 --> 00:00:48,906 I know. I know. I'm being crazy, right? 16 00:00:48,982 --> 00:00:51,473 Right, Judy? Right, Judy? 17 00:00:51,551 --> 00:00:54,111 You're moving to Rome? 18 00:00:55,155 --> 00:00:56,782 Is that my mom? 19 00:00:56,856 --> 00:00:58,653 Don't mention Rome. 20 00:01:12,772 --> 00:01:15,172 You didn't tell your mom about Rome? 21 00:01:15,241 --> 00:01:16,731 It didn't feel right. 22 00:01:16,810 --> 00:01:19,108 This isn't over-the-phone news. This is face-to-face news. 23 00:01:19,179 --> 00:01:21,807 I was gonna tell her when we see her at Christmas. 24 00:01:21,881 --> 00:01:23,473 You were gonna wait and tell her... 25 00:01:23,550 --> 00:01:25,916 after we had already been living there for six months? 26 00:01:25,985 --> 00:01:27,418 That... 27 00:01:27,487 --> 00:01:29,478 was a great plan, damn it. 28 00:01:31,524 --> 00:01:33,321 Hey, Mom, it's Marshall. 29 00:01:33,393 --> 00:01:35,327 If you are moving to Rome... 30 00:01:35,395 --> 00:01:39,092 I at least need to see my grandson before you go! 31 00:01:39,165 --> 00:01:42,100 Of course. And that is why we would love for you... 32 00:01:42,168 --> 00:01:43,658 to come visit us for a week. 33 00:01:43,736 --> 00:01:47,502 No! The place will be all packed up. 34 00:01:47,574 --> 00:01:50,372 Oh, oh. Okay, hey, Mom, better idea... 35 00:01:50,443 --> 00:01:52,638 How about we all come visit you for a week? 36 00:01:53,847 --> 00:01:56,509 I can't go to Minnesota for a week. I have a job. 37 00:01:56,583 --> 00:01:59,347 Okay, Mom, here's the plan. Um, Lily has to work... 38 00:01:59,419 --> 00:02:02,650 so Marvin and I will come visit you for a whole week. 39 00:02:02,722 --> 00:02:05,054 And I'll see if I can get a last-minute flight. 40 00:02:05,125 --> 00:02:09,619 You are gonna take my infant son away from me... 41 00:02:09,696 --> 00:02:11,186 for a whole week? 42 00:02:12,499 --> 00:02:14,228 Whoo! 43 00:02:14,300 --> 00:02:16,495 So, what do you wanna do tonight? 44 00:02:16,569 --> 00:02:19,094 Drink ourselves blind? Set a car on fire? 45 00:02:19,172 --> 00:02:20,935 Ooh, watch a movie... 46 00:02:21,007 --> 00:02:24,670 that doesn't start with a desk lamp jumping on top of a capital "I"? 47 00:02:24,744 --> 00:02:26,541 I'm all yours, Teddy West Side. 48 00:02:26,613 --> 00:02:29,275 Actually, tonight it's Teddy Westchester. 49 00:02:29,349 --> 00:02:31,340 Got to head up to the house, take care of some stuff. 50 00:02:31,417 --> 00:02:33,647 Oh, yeah. How's the restoration going? 51 00:02:33,720 --> 00:02:36,314 Actually, done. 52 00:02:36,389 --> 00:02:39,187 You finished the house? Well, I wanna see it. 53 00:02:39,259 --> 00:02:40,817 Marshall already canceled the cable, huh? 54 00:02:40,894 --> 00:02:42,225 And the Wi-Fi. 55 00:02:42,295 --> 00:02:44,496 It's like Little House on the Fricking Prairie up there. 56 00:02:46,833 --> 00:02:48,733 Well, the wedding planning is done... 57 00:02:48,801 --> 00:02:51,429 so tonight is all about relaxing... 58 00:02:51,504 --> 00:02:54,371 and celebrating everything that makes us awesome... 59 00:02:54,440 --> 00:02:57,500 which is why I requested our favorite table. 60 00:02:57,577 --> 00:02:59,545 The one by the window. 61 00:02:59,612 --> 00:03:03,048 Where we were sitting the night we saw those two bums fighting. 62 00:03:03,116 --> 00:03:06,051 Over a sandwich! 63 00:03:07,420 --> 00:03:08,853 We almost called the cops. 64 00:03:08,922 --> 00:03:11,186 And then we realized they weren't fighting at all. 65 00:03:11,257 --> 00:03:13,350 - They were making love. - Mmm. 66 00:03:13,426 --> 00:03:15,053 Over a sandwich. 67 00:03:15,862 --> 00:03:17,352 Oh! I almost forgot. 68 00:03:18,331 --> 00:03:20,026 Ha-ha, yeah. 69 00:03:20,099 --> 00:03:22,260 - No way. Is that... - El Pirámide. 70 00:03:22,335 --> 00:03:24,803 The first cigar we ever smoked together. 71 00:03:24,871 --> 00:03:27,237 Oh, Barney. 72 00:03:27,307 --> 00:03:30,037 - Mmm. - Excuse me. Hi. 73 00:03:30,109 --> 00:03:32,737 Could you not? Thanks. 74 00:03:32,812 --> 00:03:35,872 Uh, dude, I'm not gonna light 'em up in here. I'm just looking at 'em. 75 00:03:35,949 --> 00:03:38,008 Right, but even when they're unlit... 76 00:03:38,084 --> 00:03:41,144 - the smell, it's very... - Pungent. 77 00:03:41,221 --> 00:03:43,121 Exactly. Thank you. 78 00:03:43,856 --> 00:03:46,484 It's a very pungent smell. 79 00:03:46,559 --> 00:03:49,995 So... could you not? Thanks. 80 00:03:51,364 --> 00:03:53,025 Okay. 81 00:03:56,469 --> 00:03:58,334 I'm sorry. 82 00:03:58,404 --> 00:04:01,464 Can you also put the bag away? 83 00:04:01,541 --> 00:04:05,602 It-It's just... really unappetizing to look at. 84 00:04:05,678 --> 00:04:07,236 You're unappetizing to look at. 85 00:04:07,313 --> 00:04:09,679 You know what? Um, I'll put them away, okay? 86 00:04:09,749 --> 00:04:12,115 - Enjoy your night. - We'll try. 87 00:04:14,821 --> 00:04:16,880 Did those two just become our archenemies? 88 00:04:16,956 --> 00:04:19,254 No, Robin. They've always been our archenemies. 89 00:04:19,325 --> 00:04:22,317 They've only just revealed themselves. 90 00:04:22,395 --> 00:04:25,626 - Hi. Kristen? - Everyone pronounces it wrong. 91 00:04:25,698 --> 00:04:28,690 - The "R" is after the "I." - Kirsten. 92 00:04:28,768 --> 00:04:30,565 And before the "I." 93 00:04:30,637 --> 00:04:34,505 - It's Krirsten. - Your table's ready. 94 00:04:36,109 --> 00:04:39,306 Wow. They're "trerrible." 95 00:04:39,379 --> 00:04:42,041 You know what? Don't even think about them, okay? 96 00:04:42,115 --> 00:04:44,208 Tonight is about celebrating us. 97 00:04:44,284 --> 00:04:45,876 - You're right. - We shouldn't let a couple... 98 00:04:45,952 --> 00:04:48,386 Nope, nope. I'm a self-diagnosed claustrophobic. 99 00:04:48,454 --> 00:04:50,684 I have to sit next to the window. 100 00:04:50,757 --> 00:04:52,452 No, that's our table. That's our table. 101 00:04:52,525 --> 00:04:54,220 That's our table. That's our table. 102 00:04:54,294 --> 00:04:57,627 That's our table. That's our table. 103 00:04:57,697 --> 00:05:01,064 You know what? Screw celebrating us. You know what we're gonna do? 104 00:05:01,134 --> 00:05:04,069 Make those smug, obnoxious sons of bitches pay. 105 00:05:04,137 --> 00:05:06,628 Ohh! 106 00:05:08,074 --> 00:05:10,668 So Aunt Lily and I drove up to Westchester. 107 00:05:12,545 --> 00:05:14,240 Hey, baby, how's Minnesota? 108 00:05:14,314 --> 00:05:17,044 It is so much fun. Oh, hold on one sec. 109 00:05:17,116 --> 00:05:20,176 Marshall, I made you this welcome-home ice cream sundae. 110 00:05:20,253 --> 00:05:22,744 But I can't remember. Do you like crushed nuts? 111 00:05:22,822 --> 00:05:25,552 - No, no. - I love crushed nuts. 112 00:05:27,894 --> 00:05:30,988 Anyway, it's... it's great to be home. 113 00:05:31,064 --> 00:05:33,294 - How's Judy doing? - Oh, she's great. 114 00:05:33,366 --> 00:05:36,426 It's cute. She keeps joking about how she's not gonna let us leave. 115 00:05:36,502 --> 00:05:40,438 I'm really not. It's not a joke. 116 00:05:44,811 --> 00:05:46,608 Judy's gonna talk him out of going to Rome. 117 00:05:46,679 --> 00:05:49,739 I knew something was gonna screw up our plans, and this is it! 118 00:05:49,816 --> 00:05:52,614 She is gonna convince him never to leave the country. 119 00:05:52,685 --> 00:05:54,585 I think you're imagining things. 120 00:05:54,654 --> 00:05:57,748 Oh, yeah? Well, check out what's already on Facebook. 121 00:05:58,758 --> 00:06:01,249 - Inconclusive. - Oh, really? 122 00:06:03,363 --> 00:06:05,524 Getting conclusiver. Hey, Lily. 123 00:06:05,598 --> 00:06:07,759 - What? - Come on. 124 00:06:08,868 --> 00:06:10,699 Okay, open 'em. 125 00:06:10,770 --> 00:06:13,637 Your eyes. Sorry. They should have been closed. 126 00:06:13,706 --> 00:06:15,264 That one's on me. Let's try again. 127 00:06:15,341 --> 00:06:20,335 Wow. Ted, you did this all yourself? 128 00:06:20,413 --> 00:06:22,904 Just like Ryan Gosling in The Notebook. 129 00:06:22,982 --> 00:06:26,941 I was pretty manly till I mentioned Ryan Gosling in The Notebook, huh? 130 00:06:27,019 --> 00:06:29,385 Even I haven't seen it, Ted. 131 00:06:29,455 --> 00:06:30,945 Just think. 132 00:06:31,023 --> 00:06:34,481 This is the house your kids are gonna grow up in. 133 00:06:34,560 --> 00:06:37,552 They are gonna roast marshmallows in this fireplace. 134 00:06:37,630 --> 00:06:42,067 They're gonna experiment with recreational drugs on that porch. 135 00:06:42,135 --> 00:06:43,727 They're gonna sit on a couch right here... 136 00:06:43,803 --> 00:06:45,862 and listen to your boring stories about... 137 00:06:46,606 --> 00:06:48,096 "For sale" sign? 138 00:06:49,242 --> 00:06:50,834 Are you selling this place? 139 00:06:51,511 --> 00:06:53,001 Yeah. 140 00:06:53,079 --> 00:06:54,341 Why? 141 00:06:55,915 --> 00:06:59,316 Because I'm moving to Chicago. 142 00:07:05,658 --> 00:07:07,148 Ow! 143 00:07:07,226 --> 00:07:08,989 So what are we gonna do? 144 00:07:09,061 --> 00:07:12,258 Put something in their food? Key their car? 145 00:07:12,331 --> 00:07:13,923 Ooh, do either of those cigars explode? 146 00:07:14,000 --> 00:07:16,867 Hold on, Wile E. Coyote. I think I got something. 147 00:07:17,770 --> 00:07:20,330 He's checking out the hostess. 148 00:07:20,406 --> 00:07:24,274 Now, a guy who's happily in a relationship sees a girl like that... 149 00:07:24,343 --> 00:07:27,744 he'll check her out maybe 14, 15 times tops. 150 00:07:29,382 --> 00:07:31,043 Sixteen times tops. 151 00:07:32,251 --> 00:07:35,118 So Krirsten's more invested in the relationship... 152 00:07:35,188 --> 00:07:36,985 than her fella is. 153 00:07:37,056 --> 00:07:38,819 That could spell trouble. 154 00:07:38,891 --> 00:07:41,860 Challenge accepted. 155 00:07:41,928 --> 00:07:43,589 Hey, do you think it's bad luck... 156 00:07:43,663 --> 00:07:46,962 for a bride to break up two strangers a week before her wedding? 157 00:07:47,033 --> 00:07:52,232 I'd say it's very bad luck... for Krirsten. 158 00:07:56,275 --> 00:07:58,743 Ow! I hate this table so much! 159 00:07:59,946 --> 00:08:02,005 Why would you move to Chicago? 160 00:08:02,081 --> 00:08:03,946 Because it's the perfect town for me. 161 00:08:04,016 --> 00:08:06,416 It's like a Clevelandy New York. 162 00:08:06,486 --> 00:08:10,820 And don't act like you haven't noticed my hair excels in the wind. 163 00:08:10,890 --> 00:08:13,552 - Besides, you're moving to Rome. - Yeah, for a year. 164 00:08:13,626 --> 00:08:17,084 And when we get back, we need you to be here waiting for us... 165 00:08:17,163 --> 00:08:20,496 hopefully living in this house with your future bride. 166 00:08:20,566 --> 00:08:23,694 - Wha... What future bride? - The girl. 167 00:08:23,769 --> 00:08:26,966 She's out there walking around New York City right now... 168 00:08:27,039 --> 00:08:29,507 probably in a pair of really cute boots... 169 00:08:29,575 --> 00:08:32,669 that she's gonna let me borrow whenever I want because we're the same size. 170 00:08:32,745 --> 00:08:34,235 She's out there, Ted. 171 00:08:34,313 --> 00:08:36,907 Is she really? Because I've looked. 172 00:08:36,983 --> 00:08:39,076 I have looked high and low... 173 00:08:39,151 --> 00:08:42,609 for someone I can love and adore and cook waffles for. 174 00:08:42,688 --> 00:08:44,178 The closest I've come is Marshall. 175 00:08:44,257 --> 00:08:46,418 - He does love your waffles. - It's the cinnamon. 176 00:08:46,492 --> 00:08:48,858 I add cinnamon. 177 00:08:48,928 --> 00:08:50,896 She's not in New York. 178 00:08:50,963 --> 00:08:52,453 Maybe she's in Chicago. 179 00:08:52,532 --> 00:08:55,524 Okay, you are being ridiculous. 180 00:08:55,601 --> 00:08:58,035 You are gonna find someone here in New York... 181 00:08:58,104 --> 00:09:00,766 that you love just as much as I love Marshall. 182 00:09:00,840 --> 00:09:04,469 And you, if you let Judy talk you out of going to Italy... 183 00:09:04,544 --> 00:09:09,106 so help me, I will never let you stuff my ravioli again. 184 00:09:09,181 --> 00:09:10,876 I'm gonna take you off speaker. 185 00:09:11,784 --> 00:09:13,547 Lily, you got to relax, okay? 186 00:09:13,619 --> 00:09:15,280 My mom is psyched about Italy. 187 00:09:15,354 --> 00:09:18,721 She keeps making jokes about how she's gonna come live with us in Rome... 188 00:09:18,791 --> 00:09:22,056 and sleep on the couch and cook every meal for us... 189 00:09:22,128 --> 00:09:24,961 so we never have to go to a restaurant the whole year we're there. 190 00:09:25,031 --> 00:09:26,931 It's not a joke. 191 00:09:26,999 --> 00:09:28,489 By not saying no to me right now... 192 00:09:28,568 --> 00:09:30,832 you are giving me your full consent for that to happen. 193 00:09:32,471 --> 00:09:34,803 She's... She's so funny. 194 00:09:34,874 --> 00:09:37,638 I got to go. 195 00:09:37,710 --> 00:09:41,168 "I'm probably saying some political stuff right now to sound smart." 196 00:09:41,247 --> 00:09:43,511 "I'm probably referring to some snooty podcast... 197 00:09:43,583 --> 00:09:45,346 to sound even smarter." 198 00:09:45,418 --> 00:09:48,080 "I'm probably saying something in French." Aah! 199 00:09:48,154 --> 00:09:50,645 Thank God. Ow! Would you... 200 00:09:51,991 --> 00:09:54,152 Okay, you wanna break them up? I got a plan. 201 00:09:54,226 --> 00:09:56,524 It's something I know has worked in the past... 202 00:09:56,596 --> 00:10:00,259 but I-it's risky, so it's not too late to call it off. 203 00:10:00,333 --> 00:10:02,773 - No way. I'm in. - Good, 'cause it's too late to call it off. 204 00:10:02,835 --> 00:10:04,700 Observe. 205 00:10:04,770 --> 00:10:07,432 And that is why the Senate can't push anything through. 206 00:10:07,506 --> 00:10:09,337 And Doug Mand said the same thing in his podcast. 207 00:10:09,408 --> 00:10:11,603 It's like... Après moi le déluge. 208 00:10:15,381 --> 00:10:17,406 Oh! 209 00:10:17,483 --> 00:10:19,383 Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh. 210 00:10:19,452 --> 00:10:22,182 Oh, my gosh. Yes. Yes. Yes! 211 00:10:22,254 --> 00:10:24,154 - Yes! - What? 212 00:10:25,424 --> 00:10:27,551 Yes, I will marry you! 213 00:10:27,627 --> 00:10:29,720 Even though a ring in a champagne glass is a total cliché. 214 00:10:29,795 --> 00:10:33,128 And this is a cushion cut, and how long have I been hinting that I want a princess cut? 215 00:10:33,199 --> 00:10:36,635 - That's a mistake. That's not from me. - It's not? 216 00:10:36,702 --> 00:10:39,899 We've only been together seven years. 217 00:10:39,972 --> 00:10:43,840 - Now it becomes clear. - Here we go. 218 00:10:43,909 --> 00:10:46,309 You want commitment the same way you want my mother to work for you. 219 00:10:46,379 --> 00:10:48,472 I'm sorry. I didn't put an engagement ring in your drink. 220 00:10:48,547 --> 00:10:51,243 The way you chug booze, I'm surprised you even noticed. 221 00:10:51,317 --> 00:10:54,912 - So, when are you leaving? - Day after the wedding. 222 00:10:54,987 --> 00:10:58,423 What? You can't miss the day after the wedding. 223 00:10:58,491 --> 00:11:01,824 That's when we sit around all hungover, drinking mimosas... 224 00:11:01,894 --> 00:11:03,521 and talking smack about who looked fat. 225 00:11:03,596 --> 00:11:05,689 That's my Christmas. 226 00:11:05,765 --> 00:11:08,666 Why are you in such a rush to get out of there? 227 00:11:10,302 --> 00:11:12,668 Oh. 228 00:11:12,738 --> 00:11:15,206 Of course. 229 00:11:15,274 --> 00:11:16,764 You're not leaving... 230 00:11:16,842 --> 00:11:19,310 because you think the love of your life isn't in New York. 231 00:11:19,378 --> 00:11:21,505 You're leaving because you think she is. 232 00:11:21,580 --> 00:11:25,516 And this time next week, she'll be married to your best friend. 233 00:11:27,153 --> 00:11:29,417 Baby! 234 00:11:29,488 --> 00:11:32,013 I am in the middle of something super dramatic here. 235 00:11:32,091 --> 00:11:34,992 But real quick... If you let Judy come to Rome with us... 236 00:11:35,061 --> 00:11:38,622 you are gonna have to find someone else to do your laundry and massage your feet. 237 00:11:38,698 --> 00:11:41,462 Oh, my gosh. She's gonna do all that, won't she? 238 00:11:41,534 --> 00:11:44,059 Lily, you have to stop freaking out. 239 00:11:44,136 --> 00:11:46,263 Nothing is gonna screw up the plan. 240 00:11:46,338 --> 00:11:49,205 We're doing this. I love you. 241 00:11:49,275 --> 00:11:50,970 I love you, baby. Bye. 242 00:11:52,712 --> 00:11:55,738 Hello. 243 00:11:55,815 --> 00:11:57,305 Hi. Marshall Eriksen? 244 00:11:57,383 --> 00:12:00,250 I'm calling from the New York State Judiciary Committee. 245 00:12:00,319 --> 00:12:02,679 Now, you applied for a judgeship a few months ago, remember? 246 00:12:02,722 --> 00:12:04,280 Uh, of course. 247 00:12:04,356 --> 00:12:07,792 Well, I have good news. We have a last-minute opening on the bench. 248 00:12:07,860 --> 00:12:09,760 What are you saying to me right now? 249 00:12:09,829 --> 00:12:13,390 I'm saying congratulations. We want you to be a judge. 250 00:12:19,271 --> 00:12:21,501 - So, you want me to be a judge? - Yes. 251 00:12:21,574 --> 00:12:23,735 - And I would start a week from Tuesday? - Yes. 252 00:12:23,809 --> 00:12:26,073 - Could I maybe start a year from Tuesday? - No. 253 00:12:26,145 --> 00:12:27,737 - Got to be a week from Tuesday? - Yes. 254 00:12:27,813 --> 00:12:29,303 - I'd be a real judge? - Yes. 255 00:12:29,381 --> 00:12:31,315 - With a robe? Gavel? - Yes. Yes. 256 00:12:31,383 --> 00:12:33,078 - Wacky Southern accent? - No. 257 00:12:33,152 --> 00:12:35,592 - Counselor, are you absolutely sure? - Yes. 258 00:12:35,654 --> 00:12:37,986 - And I have to be in New York for this? - Yes. 259 00:12:38,057 --> 00:12:39,490 - I can't telecommute? - No. 260 00:12:39,558 --> 00:12:41,685 - I couldn't be the crazy speakerphone judge? - No. 261 00:12:41,761 --> 00:12:43,490 - Could I be a hologram? - No. 262 00:12:43,562 --> 00:12:46,224 Animatronic robot like Abe Lincoln from the Hall of Presidents... 263 00:12:46,298 --> 00:12:48,596 that I control from afar with a joystick? 264 00:12:48,667 --> 00:12:51,761 - No. - Do you remember the giant Jor-El head from Superman? 265 00:12:51,837 --> 00:12:53,600 - Yes. - Well, what if I... - No. 266 00:12:53,672 --> 00:12:56,505 Is there any way that I could do this... 267 00:12:56,575 --> 00:13:00,477 and also spend the next year of my life in Italy with my wife? 268 00:13:00,546 --> 00:13:03,481 - No. - This is such a big decision. 269 00:13:03,549 --> 00:13:05,517 L-I'm not good at big decisions. 270 00:13:05,584 --> 00:13:08,052 Are you sure you wanna be a judge? 271 00:13:09,722 --> 00:13:11,485 Wow. 272 00:13:11,557 --> 00:13:14,549 Now that we've broken up a seven-year relationship just 'cause they stole our table... 273 00:13:14,627 --> 00:13:16,618 - I feel kind of... - Awesome? 274 00:13:16,695 --> 00:13:19,163 I was gonna say horny, but, yeah, awesome too. 275 00:13:21,867 --> 00:13:23,835 - No way. Are you kidding me? - What? 276 00:13:23,903 --> 00:13:26,064 Whoa. Is there gonna be a fight? Here's the play. 277 00:13:26,138 --> 00:13:28,231 You take the girl, and the guy and I will watch. 278 00:13:28,307 --> 00:13:31,276 Hello. Just the people we wanna see. 279 00:13:31,343 --> 00:13:34,471 We got in a pretty big fight because of you guys. 280 00:13:34,547 --> 00:13:37,311 We had to call our therapist after hours. Not cool. 281 00:13:37,383 --> 00:13:39,783 Anyway, it got us to where we are now. 282 00:13:39,852 --> 00:13:41,342 We're getting married! 283 00:13:41,420 --> 00:13:43,479 And I'm taking her last name. 284 00:13:43,556 --> 00:13:45,276 You should think about doing the same thing. 285 00:13:45,291 --> 00:13:46,918 Well, good night. 286 00:13:46,992 --> 00:13:48,482 - Good night. - Good night. Congratulations. 287 00:13:48,561 --> 00:13:50,051 Yeah, definitely. 288 00:13:51,797 --> 00:13:53,560 That was us. 289 00:13:53,632 --> 00:13:55,998 We made that happen. 290 00:13:56,068 --> 00:13:58,002 We're pretty cool. 291 00:13:58,070 --> 00:14:02,530 And, you know, a week from today, we are going to be legend... 292 00:14:02,608 --> 00:14:04,667 - Wait for it. - Married. 293 00:14:04,743 --> 00:14:06,506 Legend-married. 294 00:14:08,347 --> 00:14:12,044 Robin Scherbatsky, I love you so damn much. 295 00:14:12,117 --> 00:14:16,281 I love you too, Barney Scherbatsky. It sounds good. 296 00:14:16,355 --> 00:14:18,380 - Shh. - Think about it. 297 00:14:18,457 --> 00:14:21,221 They're happy, and I'm happy for them. 298 00:14:21,293 --> 00:14:23,784 I want them to have an amazing life together. I just... 299 00:14:23,863 --> 00:14:27,094 I just think it would be best for everyone if I wasn't around for it. 300 00:14:27,166 --> 00:14:30,966 Did something happen recently between you and Robin? 301 00:14:31,036 --> 00:14:32,526 No. 302 00:14:32,605 --> 00:14:34,095 Where's the poop, Ted? 303 00:14:36,242 --> 00:14:38,437 She called me up the other day. 304 00:14:38,510 --> 00:14:42,241 She was trying to dig up this locket she had buried behind the Central Park carousel... 305 00:14:42,314 --> 00:14:45,147 and I blew off that big interview to go help her. 306 00:14:45,217 --> 00:14:49,051 And then it started raining. 307 00:14:52,658 --> 00:14:54,285 I'll, uh... 308 00:14:54,360 --> 00:14:56,851 - I'll see you at the wedding. - Yeah. 309 00:14:56,929 --> 00:14:59,295 Even now, after all these years... 310 00:14:59,365 --> 00:15:01,060 there's still just this part of me... 311 00:15:01,133 --> 00:15:05,069 where if there's even the slightest chance something I do could make Robin smile... 312 00:15:05,137 --> 00:15:07,970 I don't even think about it. I just do it. 313 00:15:08,040 --> 00:15:11,168 I mean, if I could make that locket magically appear, I would. 314 00:15:11,243 --> 00:15:13,837 I would open a vein in my arm... 315 00:15:13,913 --> 00:15:16,939 if I could bleed that locket out, just to make her happy. 316 00:15:19,251 --> 00:15:23,779 That's just a really sucky way to feel about your best friend's fiancée. 317 00:15:26,525 --> 00:15:30,518 So I'm gonna come to the wedding, and, uh, you know, I'll have a good time. 318 00:15:30,596 --> 00:15:32,086 But after that, I... 319 00:15:33,265 --> 00:15:34,323 What? 320 00:15:36,201 --> 00:15:38,761 I know where the locket is. 321 00:15:39,772 --> 00:15:42,138 - What? - I know where the locket is. 322 00:15:42,207 --> 00:15:44,471 It-It was a few years ago... 323 00:15:44,543 --> 00:15:47,137 right before you were supposed to marry Stella. 324 00:15:47,212 --> 00:15:49,646 I went down to the bar one night, and what should I see? 325 00:15:49,715 --> 00:15:52,513 Lily! Hey, girl! 326 00:15:52,584 --> 00:15:54,313 I got a question for you. 327 00:15:56,021 --> 00:15:58,046 Why isn't Ted marrying me? 328 00:15:58,123 --> 00:16:00,557 - Whoa, whoa. - I'm sorry. 329 00:16:00,626 --> 00:16:02,856 Oh, God. I'm sorry. 330 00:16:02,928 --> 00:16:06,227 I just... l-I should be happy for him... 331 00:16:06,298 --> 00:16:08,289 and yet here I am... 332 00:16:08,367 --> 00:16:12,360 moving off to Japan just to get away from him. 333 00:16:12,438 --> 00:16:17,102 And I guess to see those Terracotta Warriors and the Great Wall. 334 00:16:17,176 --> 00:16:19,303 Well, that's China. 335 00:16:19,378 --> 00:16:21,539 What? This? No, it's just a paper plate. 336 00:16:23,415 --> 00:16:25,349 Uh, we should get out of here. Come on, come on. 337 00:16:25,417 --> 00:16:28,614 Oh, totally. I know just where we should go. 338 00:16:31,256 --> 00:16:32,985 Man, you're fast when you're drunk. 339 00:16:33,058 --> 00:16:35,993 But at least you're still making good decisions. 340 00:16:36,061 --> 00:16:39,690 Central Park, around midnight, digging a hole with a spoon. 341 00:16:39,765 --> 00:16:43,098 - Solid. - Jackpot! 342 00:16:43,168 --> 00:16:46,695 - What is that? - My something old. 343 00:16:50,009 --> 00:16:52,739 You know, this locket was my grandma's. 344 00:16:52,811 --> 00:16:56,611 She kept it hidden in her butt all through World War II. 345 00:16:56,682 --> 00:16:59,446 - What? Where was she? - Winnipeg. 346 00:17:00,519 --> 00:17:02,851 She... Oh, come on. 347 00:17:02,921 --> 00:17:05,116 Lily, that was a joke. 348 00:17:05,190 --> 00:17:08,284 Yeah, I was gonna wear this when I married Ted. 349 00:17:08,360 --> 00:17:09,850 I guess that's not gonna happen. 350 00:17:09,928 --> 00:17:13,420 So I am taking it with me to Japan. 351 00:17:13,499 --> 00:17:16,696 Okay, Lily, help me put this locket in my butt. 352 00:17:16,769 --> 00:17:18,532 Uh... Okay. 353 00:17:18,604 --> 00:17:23,041 Uh, you know what? Why don't we put it in this pencil box instead? 354 00:17:23,108 --> 00:17:26,737 Oh, and then I will take the pencil box with me to Japan. 355 00:17:26,812 --> 00:17:28,370 Good. 356 00:17:28,447 --> 00:17:29,971 Hey, Lily? 357 00:17:30,049 --> 00:17:32,745 Help me put this pencil box in my butt. 358 00:17:35,587 --> 00:17:37,077 Wait. 359 00:17:37,156 --> 00:17:39,181 There's one other thing I have to do. 360 00:17:39,258 --> 00:17:41,419 Lily, it's very important. 361 00:17:41,493 --> 00:17:46,226 - It's something that needs to happen right now. - Yeah? 362 00:17:46,298 --> 00:17:49,062 Then she barfed in my face. It was a lovely night. 363 00:17:49,134 --> 00:17:52,797 Wait. You put the locket in the race car pencil box? 364 00:17:52,871 --> 00:17:56,466 Yep, and then Robin took it to Japan. 365 00:17:56,542 --> 00:17:58,840 No, she didn't. 366 00:17:58,911 --> 00:18:03,314 It's sitting on my desk at home right now. 367 00:18:03,382 --> 00:18:06,249 - It's been with me all along. - Ted. 368 00:18:06,318 --> 00:18:08,752 The locket is in the pencil box. 369 00:18:08,821 --> 00:18:11,346 - This is awesome. - Ted. 370 00:18:11,423 --> 00:18:15,826 No, I just... I just mean this is gonna be the best wedding gift ever. 371 00:18:15,894 --> 00:18:18,761 - It's gonna blow her mind. - Ted. 372 00:18:20,866 --> 00:18:22,356 Be careful. 373 00:18:32,377 --> 00:18:36,473 ♪ Well, this is just a simple song ♪ 374 00:18:36,548 --> 00:18:39,449 ♪ To say what you done ♪ 375 00:18:40,552 --> 00:18:44,386 ♪ I told you 'bout all those fears ♪ 376 00:18:44,456 --> 00:18:46,390 ♪ And away they did run ♪ 377 00:18:46,458 --> 00:18:49,689 ♪ You sure must be strong ♪ 378 00:18:52,197 --> 00:18:56,361 ♪ And you feel like an ocean being warmed by the sun ♪ 379 00:18:56,435 --> 00:18:59,199 - Come on. We gotta go. - Wait. What am I forgetting? 380 00:18:59,271 --> 00:19:01,239 Nothing. You're not forgetting anything. Let's go. 381 00:19:01,306 --> 00:19:03,206 - Okay. - Oh, wait. I'm forgetting something. 382 00:19:03,275 --> 00:19:04,765 What? 383 00:19:07,713 --> 00:19:09,146 - Let's go get married. - Yeah. 384 00:19:09,214 --> 00:19:13,310 ♪ Your face on a football field... ♪ 385 00:19:13,385 --> 00:19:15,751 Bottle for Marvin during takeoff. Got it, baby. 386 00:19:15,821 --> 00:19:18,756 And hey, just think. One week from right now... 387 00:19:18,824 --> 00:19:21,088 - We'll be in Italy. - We'll be in Italy. 388 00:19:21,160 --> 00:19:24,652 Okay, um, I got to go, baby. Um, I love you. 389 00:19:26,131 --> 00:19:28,429 You still haven't told her. 390 00:19:28,500 --> 00:19:32,095 No. This is face-to-face news. 391 00:19:32,171 --> 00:19:34,935 Good luck with that, Your Honor. 392 00:19:36,942 --> 00:19:40,503 ♪ Don't go thinking you gotta be tough ♪ 393 00:19:40,579 --> 00:19:42,206 ♪ And bleed like a stone ♪ 394 00:19:42,281 --> 00:19:43,771 Hello. 395 00:19:46,785 --> 00:19:48,946 - You want me to grab your bag? - Yeah. Thanks. 396 00:19:53,125 --> 00:19:55,116 Hey, I don't wanna draw focus from the wedding... 397 00:19:55,194 --> 00:19:57,924 so don't tell anyone about Chicago. 398 00:19:57,996 --> 00:20:01,830 It's a major city with a bunch of sports teams and some pretty good pizza. 399 00:20:01,900 --> 00:20:03,731 I think people know about Chicago. 400 00:20:05,704 --> 00:20:07,604 What time do you leave on Monday? 401 00:20:07,673 --> 00:20:11,473 Early. Gonna have to head back to the city Sunday night. 402 00:20:11,543 --> 00:20:13,841 How are you gonna get back? 403 00:20:13,912 --> 00:20:15,880 Guess I'll take the train. 404 00:20:24,957 --> 00:20:28,552 ♪ Remember walking a mile to your house ♪ 405 00:20:28,627 --> 00:20:30,822 ♪ Aglow in the dark ♪ 406 00:20:32,931 --> 00:20:36,526 ♪ I made a fumbling play for your heart ♪ 407 00:20:36,602 --> 00:20:39,127 ♪ And the act struck a spark ♪ 408 00:20:41,139 --> 00:20:44,438 ♪ You wore a charm on the chain that I stole ♪ 409 00:20:44,509 --> 00:20:47,069 ♪ Especial for you ♪ 410 00:20:48,981 --> 00:20:52,417 ♪ Love's such a delicate thing that we do ♪ 411 00:20:52,484 --> 00:20:55,009 ♪ With nothing to prove ♪ 412 00:20:56,688 --> 00:21:01,421 ♪ Which I never knew ♪ ♪ 413 00:21:02,394 --> 00:21:05,227 Hi. One ticket to Farhampton, please. 32276

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