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1
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Kids, in the spring of 2013...
2
00:00:03,436 --> 00:00:06,269
we were all tying up loose ends
before the big wedding.
3
00:00:06,339 --> 00:00:08,398
I was right here in this very room...
4
00:00:08,475 --> 00:00:10,272
putting the finishing touches on the house.
5
00:00:13,947 --> 00:00:17,075
Oh, come on!
6
00:00:17,150 --> 00:00:20,210
Barney and Robin were wrapping up
rehearsal for their first dance.
7
00:00:20,286 --> 00:00:22,754
- That was amazing.
- We can do better.
8
00:00:22,822 --> 00:00:26,314
Back to one, everyone! Reload the cannons!
We'll go again right away.
9
00:00:29,462 --> 00:00:32,590
And Lily and Marshall were
packing for their year in Italy.
10
00:00:33,433 --> 00:00:36,129
Hello.
11
00:00:36,202 --> 00:00:38,534
How's my favorite daughter-in-law?
12
00:00:38,605 --> 00:00:40,505
Oh, things are a bit crazy here.
13
00:00:40,573 --> 00:00:42,438
We've got this big move
to Rome coming up...
14
00:00:42,509 --> 00:00:46,240
and I-I just can't shake the feeling that
I'm forgetting something, you know?
15
00:00:46,312 --> 00:00:48,906
I know. I know. I'm being crazy, right?
16
00:00:48,982 --> 00:00:51,473
Right, Judy? Right, Judy?
17
00:00:51,551 --> 00:00:54,111
You're moving to Rome?
18
00:00:55,155 --> 00:00:56,782
Is that my mom?
19
00:00:56,856 --> 00:00:58,653
Don't mention Rome.
20
00:01:12,772 --> 00:01:15,172
You didn't tell your mom about Rome?
21
00:01:15,241 --> 00:01:16,731
It didn't feel right.
22
00:01:16,810 --> 00:01:19,108
This isn't over-the-phone news.
This is face-to-face news.
23
00:01:19,179 --> 00:01:21,807
I was gonna tell her
when we see her at Christmas.
24
00:01:21,881 --> 00:01:23,473
You were gonna wait and tell her...
25
00:01:23,550 --> 00:01:25,916
after we had already been
living there for six months?
26
00:01:25,985 --> 00:01:27,418
That...
27
00:01:27,487 --> 00:01:29,478
was a great plan, damn it.
28
00:01:31,524 --> 00:01:33,321
Hey, Mom, it's Marshall.
29
00:01:33,393 --> 00:01:35,327
If you are moving to Rome...
30
00:01:35,395 --> 00:01:39,092
I at least need to see
my grandson before you go!
31
00:01:39,165 --> 00:01:42,100
Of course. And that is why
we would love for you...
32
00:01:42,168 --> 00:01:43,658
to come visit us for a week.
33
00:01:43,736 --> 00:01:47,502
No! The place will be all packed up.
34
00:01:47,574 --> 00:01:50,372
Oh, oh. Okay, hey, Mom, better idea...
35
00:01:50,443 --> 00:01:52,638
How about we all come visit
you for a week?
36
00:01:53,847 --> 00:01:56,509
I can't go to Minnesota for a week.
I have a job.
37
00:01:56,583 --> 00:01:59,347
Okay, Mom, here's the plan.
Um, Lily has to work...
38
00:01:59,419 --> 00:02:02,650
so Marvin and I will come
visit you for a whole week.
39
00:02:02,722 --> 00:02:05,054
And I'll see if I can get
a last-minute flight.
40
00:02:05,125 --> 00:02:09,619
You are gonna take my infant son
away from me...
41
00:02:09,696 --> 00:02:11,186
for a whole week?
42
00:02:12,499 --> 00:02:14,228
Whoo!
43
00:02:14,300 --> 00:02:16,495
So, what do you wanna do tonight?
44
00:02:16,569 --> 00:02:19,094
Drink ourselves blind? Set a car on fire?
45
00:02:19,172 --> 00:02:20,935
Ooh, watch a movie...
46
00:02:21,007 --> 00:02:24,670
that doesn't start with a desk lamp
jumping on top of a capital "I"?
47
00:02:24,744 --> 00:02:26,541
I'm all yours, Teddy West Side.
48
00:02:26,613 --> 00:02:29,275
Actually, tonight it's Teddy Westchester.
49
00:02:29,349 --> 00:02:31,340
Got to head up to the house,
take care of some stuff.
50
00:02:31,417 --> 00:02:33,647
Oh, yeah. How's the restoration going?
51
00:02:33,720 --> 00:02:36,314
Actually, done.
52
00:02:36,389 --> 00:02:39,187
You finished the house?
Well, I wanna see it.
53
00:02:39,259 --> 00:02:40,817
Marshall already canceled the cable, huh?
54
00:02:40,894 --> 00:02:42,225
And the Wi-Fi.
55
00:02:42,295 --> 00:02:44,496
It's like Little House on
the Fricking Prairie up there.
56
00:02:46,833 --> 00:02:48,733
Well, the wedding planning is done...
57
00:02:48,801 --> 00:02:51,429
so tonight is all about relaxing...
58
00:02:51,504 --> 00:02:54,371
and celebrating everything
that makes us awesome...
59
00:02:54,440 --> 00:02:57,500
which is why I requested
our favorite table.
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00:02:57,577 --> 00:02:59,545
The one by the window.
61
00:02:59,612 --> 00:03:03,048
Where we were sitting
the night we saw those two bums fighting.
62
00:03:03,116 --> 00:03:06,051
Over a sandwich!
63
00:03:07,420 --> 00:03:08,853
We almost called the cops.
64
00:03:08,922 --> 00:03:11,186
And then we realized
they weren't fighting at all.
65
00:03:11,257 --> 00:03:13,350
- They were making love.
- Mmm.
66
00:03:13,426 --> 00:03:15,053
Over a sandwich.
67
00:03:15,862 --> 00:03:17,352
Oh! I almost forgot.
68
00:03:18,331 --> 00:03:20,026
Ha-ha, yeah.
69
00:03:20,099 --> 00:03:22,260
- No way. Is that...
- El Pirámide.
70
00:03:22,335 --> 00:03:24,803
The first cigar we ever smoked together.
71
00:03:24,871 --> 00:03:27,237
Oh, Barney.
72
00:03:27,307 --> 00:03:30,037
- Mmm.
- Excuse me. Hi.
73
00:03:30,109 --> 00:03:32,737
Could you not? Thanks.
74
00:03:32,812 --> 00:03:35,872
Uh, dude, I'm not gonna light 'em up
in here. I'm just looking at 'em.
75
00:03:35,949 --> 00:03:38,008
Right, but even when they're unlit...
76
00:03:38,084 --> 00:03:41,144
- the smell, it's very...
- Pungent.
77
00:03:41,221 --> 00:03:43,121
Exactly. Thank you.
78
00:03:43,856 --> 00:03:46,484
It's a very pungent smell.
79
00:03:46,559 --> 00:03:49,995
So... could you not? Thanks.
80
00:03:51,364 --> 00:03:53,025
Okay.
81
00:03:56,469 --> 00:03:58,334
I'm sorry.
82
00:03:58,404 --> 00:04:01,464
Can you also put the bag away?
83
00:04:01,541 --> 00:04:05,602
It-It's just... really
unappetizing to look at.
84
00:04:05,678 --> 00:04:07,236
You're unappetizing to look at.
85
00:04:07,313 --> 00:04:09,679
You know what?
Um, I'll put them away, okay?
86
00:04:09,749 --> 00:04:12,115
- Enjoy your night.
- We'll try.
87
00:04:14,821 --> 00:04:16,880
Did those two just become our archenemies?
88
00:04:16,956 --> 00:04:19,254
No, Robin.
They've always been our archenemies.
89
00:04:19,325 --> 00:04:22,317
They've only just revealed themselves.
90
00:04:22,395 --> 00:04:25,626
- Hi. Kristen?
- Everyone pronounces it wrong.
91
00:04:25,698 --> 00:04:28,690
- The "R" is after the "I."
- Kirsten.
92
00:04:28,768 --> 00:04:30,565
And before the "I."
93
00:04:30,637 --> 00:04:34,505
- It's Krirsten.
- Your table's ready.
94
00:04:36,109 --> 00:04:39,306
Wow. They're "trerrible."
95
00:04:39,379 --> 00:04:42,041
You know what?
Don't even think about them, okay?
96
00:04:42,115 --> 00:04:44,208
Tonight is about celebrating us.
97
00:04:44,284 --> 00:04:45,876
- You're right.
- We shouldn't let a couple...
98
00:04:45,952 --> 00:04:48,386
Nope, nope.
I'm a self-diagnosed claustrophobic.
99
00:04:48,454 --> 00:04:50,684
I have to sit next to the window.
100
00:04:50,757 --> 00:04:52,452
No, that's our table. That's our table.
101
00:04:52,525 --> 00:04:54,220
That's our table. That's our table.
102
00:04:54,294 --> 00:04:57,627
That's our table. That's our table.
103
00:04:57,697 --> 00:05:01,064
You know what? Screw celebrating us.
You know what we're gonna do?
104
00:05:01,134 --> 00:05:04,069
Make those smug,
obnoxious sons of bitches pay.
105
00:05:04,137 --> 00:05:06,628
Ohh!
106
00:05:08,074 --> 00:05:10,668
So Aunt Lily and I drove up to Westchester.
107
00:05:12,545 --> 00:05:14,240
Hey, baby, how's Minnesota?
108
00:05:14,314 --> 00:05:17,044
It is so much fun. Oh, hold on one sec.
109
00:05:17,116 --> 00:05:20,176
Marshall, I made you
this welcome-home ice cream sundae.
110
00:05:20,253 --> 00:05:22,744
But I can't remember.
Do you like crushed nuts?
111
00:05:22,822 --> 00:05:25,552
- No, no.
- I love crushed nuts.
112
00:05:27,894 --> 00:05:30,988
Anyway, it's... it's great to be home.
113
00:05:31,064 --> 00:05:33,294
- How's Judy doing?
- Oh, she's great.
114
00:05:33,366 --> 00:05:36,426
It's cute. She keeps joking about how
she's not gonna let us leave.
115
00:05:36,502 --> 00:05:40,438
I'm really not. It's not a joke.
116
00:05:44,811 --> 00:05:46,608
Judy's gonna talk him
out of going to Rome.
117
00:05:46,679 --> 00:05:49,739
I knew something was gonna
screw up our plans, and this is it!
118
00:05:49,816 --> 00:05:52,614
She is gonna convince him
never to leave the country.
119
00:05:52,685 --> 00:05:54,585
I think you're imagining things.
120
00:05:54,654 --> 00:05:57,748
Oh, yeah? Well, check out
what's already on Facebook.
121
00:05:58,758 --> 00:06:01,249
- Inconclusive.
- Oh, really?
122
00:06:03,363 --> 00:06:05,524
Getting conclusiver. Hey, Lily.
123
00:06:05,598 --> 00:06:07,759
- What?
- Come on.
124
00:06:08,868 --> 00:06:10,699
Okay, open 'em.
125
00:06:10,770 --> 00:06:13,637
Your eyes.
Sorry. They should have been closed.
126
00:06:13,706 --> 00:06:15,264
That one's on me. Let's try again.
127
00:06:15,341 --> 00:06:20,335
Wow. Ted, you did this all yourself?
128
00:06:20,413 --> 00:06:22,904
Just like Ryan Gosling in The Notebook.
129
00:06:22,982 --> 00:06:26,941
I was pretty manly till I mentioned
Ryan Gosling in The Notebook, huh?
130
00:06:27,019 --> 00:06:29,385
Even I haven't seen it, Ted.
131
00:06:29,455 --> 00:06:30,945
Just think.
132
00:06:31,023 --> 00:06:34,481
This is the house
your kids are gonna grow up in.
133
00:06:34,560 --> 00:06:37,552
They are gonna roast marshmallows
in this fireplace.
134
00:06:37,630 --> 00:06:42,067
They're gonna experiment
with recreational drugs on that porch.
135
00:06:42,135 --> 00:06:43,727
They're gonna sit on a couch right here...
136
00:06:43,803 --> 00:06:45,862
and listen to your boring stories about...
137
00:06:46,606 --> 00:06:48,096
"For sale" sign?
138
00:06:49,242 --> 00:06:50,834
Are you selling this place?
139
00:06:51,511 --> 00:06:53,001
Yeah.
140
00:06:53,079 --> 00:06:54,341
Why?
141
00:06:55,915 --> 00:06:59,316
Because I'm moving to Chicago.
142
00:07:05,658 --> 00:07:07,148
Ow!
143
00:07:07,226 --> 00:07:08,989
So what are we gonna do?
144
00:07:09,061 --> 00:07:12,258
Put something in their food?
Key their car?
145
00:07:12,331 --> 00:07:13,923
Ooh, do either of those cigars explode?
146
00:07:14,000 --> 00:07:16,867
Hold on, Wile E. Coyote.
I think I got something.
147
00:07:17,770 --> 00:07:20,330
He's checking out the hostess.
148
00:07:20,406 --> 00:07:24,274
Now, a guy who's happily in a relationship
sees a girl like that...
149
00:07:24,343 --> 00:07:27,744
he'll check her out
maybe 14, 15 times tops.
150
00:07:29,382 --> 00:07:31,043
Sixteen times tops.
151
00:07:32,251 --> 00:07:35,118
So Krirsten's more invested
in the relationship...
152
00:07:35,188 --> 00:07:36,985
than her fella is.
153
00:07:37,056 --> 00:07:38,819
That could spell trouble.
154
00:07:38,891 --> 00:07:41,860
Challenge accepted.
155
00:07:41,928 --> 00:07:43,589
Hey, do you think it's bad luck...
156
00:07:43,663 --> 00:07:46,962
for a bride to break up two strangers
a week before her wedding?
157
00:07:47,033 --> 00:07:52,232
I'd say it's very bad luck...
for Krirsten.
158
00:07:56,275 --> 00:07:58,743
Ow! I hate this table so much!
159
00:07:59,946 --> 00:08:02,005
Why would you move to Chicago?
160
00:08:02,081 --> 00:08:03,946
Because it's the perfect town for me.
161
00:08:04,016 --> 00:08:06,416
It's like a Clevelandy New York.
162
00:08:06,486 --> 00:08:10,820
And don't act like you haven't noticed
my hair excels in the wind.
163
00:08:10,890 --> 00:08:13,552
- Besides, you're moving to Rome.
- Yeah, for a year.
164
00:08:13,626 --> 00:08:17,084
And when we get back,
we need you to be here waiting for us...
165
00:08:17,163 --> 00:08:20,496
hopefully living in this house
with your future bride.
166
00:08:20,566 --> 00:08:23,694
- Wha... What future bride?
- The girl.
167
00:08:23,769 --> 00:08:26,966
She's out there walking around
New York City right now...
168
00:08:27,039 --> 00:08:29,507
probably in a pair of really cute boots...
169
00:08:29,575 --> 00:08:32,669
that she's gonna let me borrow whenever
I want because we're the same size.
170
00:08:32,745 --> 00:08:34,235
She's out there, Ted.
171
00:08:34,313 --> 00:08:36,907
Is she really? Because I've looked.
172
00:08:36,983 --> 00:08:39,076
I have looked high and low...
173
00:08:39,151 --> 00:08:42,609
for someone I can love and adore
and cook waffles for.
174
00:08:42,688 --> 00:08:44,178
The closest I've come is Marshall.
175
00:08:44,257 --> 00:08:46,418
- He does love your waffles.
- It's the cinnamon.
176
00:08:46,492 --> 00:08:48,858
I add cinnamon.
177
00:08:48,928 --> 00:08:50,896
She's not in New York.
178
00:08:50,963 --> 00:08:52,453
Maybe she's in Chicago.
179
00:08:52,532 --> 00:08:55,524
Okay, you are being ridiculous.
180
00:08:55,601 --> 00:08:58,035
You are gonna find someone
here in New York...
181
00:08:58,104 --> 00:09:00,766
that you love just as
much as I love Marshall.
182
00:09:00,840 --> 00:09:04,469
And you, if you let Judy talk you
out of going to Italy...
183
00:09:04,544 --> 00:09:09,106
so help me, I will never let you
stuff my ravioli again.
184
00:09:09,181 --> 00:09:10,876
I'm gonna take you off speaker.
185
00:09:11,784 --> 00:09:13,547
Lily, you got to relax, okay?
186
00:09:13,619 --> 00:09:15,280
My mom is psyched about Italy.
187
00:09:15,354 --> 00:09:18,721
She keeps making jokes about how
she's gonna come live with us in Rome...
188
00:09:18,791 --> 00:09:22,056
and sleep on the couch
and cook every meal for us...
189
00:09:22,128 --> 00:09:24,961
so we never have to go to a restaurant
the whole year we're there.
190
00:09:25,031 --> 00:09:26,931
It's not a joke.
191
00:09:26,999 --> 00:09:28,489
By not saying no to me right now...
192
00:09:28,568 --> 00:09:30,832
you are giving me your full consent
for that to happen.
193
00:09:32,471 --> 00:09:34,803
She's... She's so funny.
194
00:09:34,874 --> 00:09:37,638
I got to go.
195
00:09:37,710 --> 00:09:41,168
"I'm probably saying some
political stuff right now to sound smart."
196
00:09:41,247 --> 00:09:43,511
"I'm probably
referring to some snooty podcast...
197
00:09:43,583 --> 00:09:45,346
to sound even smarter."
198
00:09:45,418 --> 00:09:48,080
"I'm probably saying something in French."
Aah!
199
00:09:48,154 --> 00:09:50,645
Thank God. Ow! Would you...
200
00:09:51,991 --> 00:09:54,152
Okay, you wanna break them up?
I got a plan.
201
00:09:54,226 --> 00:09:56,524
It's something I know
has worked in the past...
202
00:09:56,596 --> 00:10:00,259
but I-it's risky,
so it's not too late to call it off.
203
00:10:00,333 --> 00:10:02,773
- No way. I'm in.
- Good, 'cause it's too late to call it off.
204
00:10:02,835 --> 00:10:04,700
Observe.
205
00:10:04,770 --> 00:10:07,432
And that is why the Senate
can't push anything through.
206
00:10:07,506 --> 00:10:09,337
And Doug Mand said
the same thing in his podcast.
207
00:10:09,408 --> 00:10:11,603
It's like... Après moi le déluge.
208
00:10:15,381 --> 00:10:17,406
Oh!
209
00:10:17,483 --> 00:10:19,383
Oh, my gosh. Oh, my gosh.
210
00:10:19,452 --> 00:10:22,182
Oh, my gosh. Yes. Yes. Yes!
211
00:10:22,254 --> 00:10:24,154
- Yes!
- What?
212
00:10:25,424 --> 00:10:27,551
Yes, I will marry you!
213
00:10:27,627 --> 00:10:29,720
Even though a ring in a champagne glass
is a total cliché.
214
00:10:29,795 --> 00:10:33,128
And this is a cushion cut, and how long have
I been hinting that I want a princess cut?
215
00:10:33,199 --> 00:10:36,635
- That's a mistake. That's not from me.
- It's not?
216
00:10:36,702 --> 00:10:39,899
We've only been together seven years.
217
00:10:39,972 --> 00:10:43,840
- Now it becomes clear.
- Here we go.
218
00:10:43,909 --> 00:10:46,309
You want commitment the same way
you want my mother to work for you.
219
00:10:46,379 --> 00:10:48,472
I'm sorry. I didn't put
an engagement ring in your drink.
220
00:10:48,547 --> 00:10:51,243
The way you chug booze,
I'm surprised you even noticed.
221
00:10:51,317 --> 00:10:54,912
- So, when are you leaving?
- Day after the wedding.
222
00:10:54,987 --> 00:10:58,423
What? You can't miss
the day after the wedding.
223
00:10:58,491 --> 00:11:01,824
That's when we sit around all hungover,
drinking mimosas...
224
00:11:01,894 --> 00:11:03,521
and talking smack about who looked fat.
225
00:11:03,596 --> 00:11:05,689
That's my Christmas.
226
00:11:05,765 --> 00:11:08,666
Why are you in such a rush
to get out of there?
227
00:11:10,302 --> 00:11:12,668
Oh.
228
00:11:12,738 --> 00:11:15,206
Of course.
229
00:11:15,274 --> 00:11:16,764
You're not leaving...
230
00:11:16,842 --> 00:11:19,310
because you think the love of your life
isn't in New York.
231
00:11:19,378 --> 00:11:21,505
You're leaving because you think she is.
232
00:11:21,580 --> 00:11:25,516
And this time next week,
she'll be married to your best friend.
233
00:11:27,153 --> 00:11:29,417
Baby!
234
00:11:29,488 --> 00:11:32,013
I am in the middle of something
super dramatic here.
235
00:11:32,091 --> 00:11:34,992
But real quick...
If you let Judy come to Rome with us...
236
00:11:35,061 --> 00:11:38,622
you are gonna have to find someone else to
do your laundry and massage your feet.
237
00:11:38,698 --> 00:11:41,462
Oh, my gosh.
She's gonna do all that, won't she?
238
00:11:41,534 --> 00:11:44,059
Lily, you have to stop freaking out.
239
00:11:44,136 --> 00:11:46,263
Nothing is gonna screw up the plan.
240
00:11:46,338 --> 00:11:49,205
We're doing this. I love you.
241
00:11:49,275 --> 00:11:50,970
I love you, baby. Bye.
242
00:11:52,712 --> 00:11:55,738
Hello.
243
00:11:55,815 --> 00:11:57,305
Hi. Marshall Eriksen?
244
00:11:57,383 --> 00:12:00,250
I'm calling from the New York State
Judiciary Committee.
245
00:12:00,319 --> 00:12:02,679
Now, you applied for a judgeship
a few months ago, remember?
246
00:12:02,722 --> 00:12:04,280
Uh, of course.
247
00:12:04,356 --> 00:12:07,792
Well, I have good news. We have
a last-minute opening on the bench.
248
00:12:07,860 --> 00:12:09,760
What are you saying to me right now?
249
00:12:09,829 --> 00:12:13,390
I'm saying congratulations.
We want you to be a judge.
250
00:12:19,271 --> 00:12:21,501
- So, you want me to be a judge?
- Yes.
251
00:12:21,574 --> 00:12:23,735
- And I would start a week from Tuesday?
- Yes.
252
00:12:23,809 --> 00:12:26,073
- Could I maybe start a year from Tuesday?
- No.
253
00:12:26,145 --> 00:12:27,737
- Got to be a week from Tuesday?
- Yes.
254
00:12:27,813 --> 00:12:29,303
- I'd be a real judge?
- Yes.
255
00:12:29,381 --> 00:12:31,315
- With a robe? Gavel?
- Yes. Yes.
256
00:12:31,383 --> 00:12:33,078
- Wacky Southern accent?
- No.
257
00:12:33,152 --> 00:12:35,592
- Counselor, are you absolutely sure?
- Yes.
258
00:12:35,654 --> 00:12:37,986
- And I have to be in New York for this?
- Yes.
259
00:12:38,057 --> 00:12:39,490
- I can't telecommute?
- No.
260
00:12:39,558 --> 00:12:41,685
- I couldn't be the crazy speakerphone judge?
- No.
261
00:12:41,761 --> 00:12:43,490
- Could I be a hologram?
- No.
262
00:12:43,562 --> 00:12:46,224
Animatronic robot like Abe Lincoln
from the Hall of Presidents...
263
00:12:46,298 --> 00:12:48,596
that I control from afar with a joystick?
264
00:12:48,667 --> 00:12:51,761
- No.
- Do you remember the giant Jor-El head from Superman?
265
00:12:51,837 --> 00:12:53,600
- Yes.
- Well, what if I... - No.
266
00:12:53,672 --> 00:12:56,505
Is there any way that I could do this...
267
00:12:56,575 --> 00:13:00,477
and also spend the next year of my life
in Italy with my wife?
268
00:13:00,546 --> 00:13:03,481
- No.
- This is such a big decision.
269
00:13:03,549 --> 00:13:05,517
L-I'm not good at big decisions.
270
00:13:05,584 --> 00:13:08,052
Are you sure you wanna be a judge?
271
00:13:09,722 --> 00:13:11,485
Wow.
272
00:13:11,557 --> 00:13:14,549
Now that we've broken up a seven-year
relationship just 'cause they stole our table...
273
00:13:14,627 --> 00:13:16,618
- I feel kind of...
- Awesome?
274
00:13:16,695 --> 00:13:19,163
I was gonna say horny,
but, yeah, awesome too.
275
00:13:21,867 --> 00:13:23,835
- No way. Are you kidding me?
- What?
276
00:13:23,903 --> 00:13:26,064
Whoa. Is there gonna be a fight?
Here's the play.
277
00:13:26,138 --> 00:13:28,231
You take the girl,
and the guy and I will watch.
278
00:13:28,307 --> 00:13:31,276
Hello. Just the people we wanna see.
279
00:13:31,343 --> 00:13:34,471
We got in a pretty big fight
because of you guys.
280
00:13:34,547 --> 00:13:37,311
We had to call our therapist after hours.
Not cool.
281
00:13:37,383 --> 00:13:39,783
Anyway, it got us to where we are now.
282
00:13:39,852 --> 00:13:41,342
We're getting married!
283
00:13:41,420 --> 00:13:43,479
And I'm taking her last name.
284
00:13:43,556 --> 00:13:45,276
You should think about
doing the same thing.
285
00:13:45,291 --> 00:13:46,918
Well, good night.
286
00:13:46,992 --> 00:13:48,482
- Good night.
- Good night. Congratulations.
287
00:13:48,561 --> 00:13:50,051
Yeah, definitely.
288
00:13:51,797 --> 00:13:53,560
That was us.
289
00:13:53,632 --> 00:13:55,998
We made that happen.
290
00:13:56,068 --> 00:13:58,002
We're pretty cool.
291
00:13:58,070 --> 00:14:02,530
And, you know, a week from today,
we are going to be legend...
292
00:14:02,608 --> 00:14:04,667
- Wait for it.
- Married.
293
00:14:04,743 --> 00:14:06,506
Legend-married.
294
00:14:08,347 --> 00:14:12,044
Robin Scherbatsky,
I love you so damn much.
295
00:14:12,117 --> 00:14:16,281
I love you too, Barney Scherbatsky.
It sounds good.
296
00:14:16,355 --> 00:14:18,380
- Shh.
- Think about it.
297
00:14:18,457 --> 00:14:21,221
They're happy, and I'm happy for them.
298
00:14:21,293 --> 00:14:23,784
I want them to have
an amazing life together. I just...
299
00:14:23,863 --> 00:14:27,094
I just think it would be best for everyone
if I wasn't around for it.
300
00:14:27,166 --> 00:14:30,966
Did something happen recently
between you and Robin?
301
00:14:31,036 --> 00:14:32,526
No.
302
00:14:32,605 --> 00:14:34,095
Where's the poop, Ted?
303
00:14:36,242 --> 00:14:38,437
She called me up the other day.
304
00:14:38,510 --> 00:14:42,241
She was trying to dig up this locket she had
buried behind the Central Park carousel...
305
00:14:42,314 --> 00:14:45,147
and I blew off that big interview
to go help her.
306
00:14:45,217 --> 00:14:49,051
And then it started raining.
307
00:14:52,658 --> 00:14:54,285
I'll, uh...
308
00:14:54,360 --> 00:14:56,851
- I'll see you at the wedding.
- Yeah.
309
00:14:56,929 --> 00:14:59,295
Even now, after all these years...
310
00:14:59,365 --> 00:15:01,060
there's still just this part of me...
311
00:15:01,133 --> 00:15:05,069
where if there's even the slightest chance
something I do could make Robin smile...
312
00:15:05,137 --> 00:15:07,970
I don't even think about it.
I just do it.
313
00:15:08,040 --> 00:15:11,168
I mean, if I could make that locket
magically appear, I would.
314
00:15:11,243 --> 00:15:13,837
I would open a vein in my arm...
315
00:15:13,913 --> 00:15:16,939
if I could bleed that locket out,
just to make her happy.
316
00:15:19,251 --> 00:15:23,779
That's just a really sucky way
to feel about your best friend's fiancée.
317
00:15:26,525 --> 00:15:30,518
So I'm gonna come to the wedding,
and, uh, you know, I'll have a good time.
318
00:15:30,596 --> 00:15:32,086
But after that, I...
319
00:15:33,265 --> 00:15:34,323
What?
320
00:15:36,201 --> 00:15:38,761
I know where the locket is.
321
00:15:39,772 --> 00:15:42,138
- What?
- I know where the locket is.
322
00:15:42,207 --> 00:15:44,471
It-It was a few years ago...
323
00:15:44,543 --> 00:15:47,137
right before you were
supposed to marry Stella.
324
00:15:47,212 --> 00:15:49,646
I went down to the bar one night,
and what should I see?
325
00:15:49,715 --> 00:15:52,513
Lily! Hey, girl!
326
00:15:52,584 --> 00:15:54,313
I got a question for you.
327
00:15:56,021 --> 00:15:58,046
Why isn't Ted marrying me?
328
00:15:58,123 --> 00:16:00,557
- Whoa, whoa.
- I'm sorry.
329
00:16:00,626 --> 00:16:02,856
Oh, God. I'm sorry.
330
00:16:02,928 --> 00:16:06,227
I just... l-I should be happy for him...
331
00:16:06,298 --> 00:16:08,289
and yet here I am...
332
00:16:08,367 --> 00:16:12,360
moving off to Japan
just to get away from him.
333
00:16:12,438 --> 00:16:17,102
And I guess to see those
Terracotta Warriors and the Great Wall.
334
00:16:17,176 --> 00:16:19,303
Well, that's China.
335
00:16:19,378 --> 00:16:21,539
What? This? No, it's just a paper plate.
336
00:16:23,415 --> 00:16:25,349
Uh, we should get out of here.
Come on, come on.
337
00:16:25,417 --> 00:16:28,614
Oh, totally.
I know just where we should go.
338
00:16:31,256 --> 00:16:32,985
Man, you're fast when you're drunk.
339
00:16:33,058 --> 00:16:35,993
But at least you're
still making good decisions.
340
00:16:36,061 --> 00:16:39,690
Central Park, around midnight,
digging a hole with a spoon.
341
00:16:39,765 --> 00:16:43,098
- Solid.
- Jackpot!
342
00:16:43,168 --> 00:16:46,695
- What is that?
- My something old.
343
00:16:50,009 --> 00:16:52,739
You know, this locket was my grandma's.
344
00:16:52,811 --> 00:16:56,611
She kept it hidden in her butt
all through World War II.
345
00:16:56,682 --> 00:16:59,446
- What? Where was she?
- Winnipeg.
346
00:17:00,519 --> 00:17:02,851
She... Oh, come on.
347
00:17:02,921 --> 00:17:05,116
Lily, that was a joke.
348
00:17:05,190 --> 00:17:08,284
Yeah, I was gonna wear this
when I married Ted.
349
00:17:08,360 --> 00:17:09,850
I guess that's not gonna happen.
350
00:17:09,928 --> 00:17:13,420
So I am taking it with me to Japan.
351
00:17:13,499 --> 00:17:16,696
Okay, Lily, help me put
this locket in my butt.
352
00:17:16,769 --> 00:17:18,532
Uh... Okay.
353
00:17:18,604 --> 00:17:23,041
Uh, you know what? Why don't we put it
in this pencil box instead?
354
00:17:23,108 --> 00:17:26,737
Oh, and then I will take the pencil box
with me to Japan.
355
00:17:26,812 --> 00:17:28,370
Good.
356
00:17:28,447 --> 00:17:29,971
Hey, Lily?
357
00:17:30,049 --> 00:17:32,745
Help me put this pencil box in my butt.
358
00:17:35,587 --> 00:17:37,077
Wait.
359
00:17:37,156 --> 00:17:39,181
There's one other thing I have to do.
360
00:17:39,258 --> 00:17:41,419
Lily, it's very important.
361
00:17:41,493 --> 00:17:46,226
- It's something that needs to happen right now.
- Yeah?
362
00:17:46,298 --> 00:17:49,062
Then she barfed in my face.
It was a lovely night.
363
00:17:49,134 --> 00:17:52,797
Wait. You put the locket
in the race car pencil box?
364
00:17:52,871 --> 00:17:56,466
Yep, and then Robin took it to Japan.
365
00:17:56,542 --> 00:17:58,840
No, she didn't.
366
00:17:58,911 --> 00:18:03,314
It's sitting on my desk at home right now.
367
00:18:03,382 --> 00:18:06,249
- It's been with me all along.
- Ted.
368
00:18:06,318 --> 00:18:08,752
The locket is in the pencil box.
369
00:18:08,821 --> 00:18:11,346
- This is awesome.
- Ted.
370
00:18:11,423 --> 00:18:15,826
No, I just... I just mean this is gonna be
the best wedding gift ever.
371
00:18:15,894 --> 00:18:18,761
- It's gonna blow her mind.
- Ted.
372
00:18:20,866 --> 00:18:22,356
Be careful.
373
00:18:32,377 --> 00:18:36,473
♪ Well, this is just a simple song ♪
374
00:18:36,548 --> 00:18:39,449
♪ To say what you done ♪
375
00:18:40,552 --> 00:18:44,386
♪ I told you 'bout all those fears ♪
376
00:18:44,456 --> 00:18:46,390
♪ And away they did run ♪
377
00:18:46,458 --> 00:18:49,689
♪ You sure must be strong ♪
378
00:18:52,197 --> 00:18:56,361
♪ And you feel like an ocean
being warmed by the sun ♪
379
00:18:56,435 --> 00:18:59,199
- Come on. We gotta go.
- Wait. What am I forgetting?
380
00:18:59,271 --> 00:19:01,239
Nothing. You're not forgetting anything.
Let's go.
381
00:19:01,306 --> 00:19:03,206
- Okay.
- Oh, wait. I'm forgetting something.
382
00:19:03,275 --> 00:19:04,765
What?
383
00:19:07,713 --> 00:19:09,146
- Let's go get married.
- Yeah.
384
00:19:09,214 --> 00:19:13,310
♪ Your face on a football field... ♪
385
00:19:13,385 --> 00:19:15,751
Bottle for Marvin during takeoff.
Got it, baby.
386
00:19:15,821 --> 00:19:18,756
And hey, just think.
One week from right now...
387
00:19:18,824 --> 00:19:21,088
- We'll be in Italy.
- We'll be in Italy.
388
00:19:21,160 --> 00:19:24,652
Okay, um,
I got to go, baby. Um, I love you.
389
00:19:26,131 --> 00:19:28,429
You still haven't told her.
390
00:19:28,500 --> 00:19:32,095
No. This is face-to-face news.
391
00:19:32,171 --> 00:19:34,935
Good luck with that, Your Honor.
392
00:19:36,942 --> 00:19:40,503
♪ Don't go thinking you gotta be tough ♪
393
00:19:40,579 --> 00:19:42,206
♪ And bleed like a stone ♪
394
00:19:42,281 --> 00:19:43,771
Hello.
395
00:19:46,785 --> 00:19:48,946
- You want me to grab your bag?
- Yeah. Thanks.
396
00:19:53,125 --> 00:19:55,116
Hey, I don't wanna draw focus
from the wedding...
397
00:19:55,194 --> 00:19:57,924
so don't tell anyone about Chicago.
398
00:19:57,996 --> 00:20:01,830
It's a major city with a bunch of sports
teams and some pretty good pizza.
399
00:20:01,900 --> 00:20:03,731
I think people know about Chicago.
400
00:20:05,704 --> 00:20:07,604
What time do you leave on Monday?
401
00:20:07,673 --> 00:20:11,473
Early. Gonna have to head back
to the city Sunday night.
402
00:20:11,543 --> 00:20:13,841
How are you gonna get back?
403
00:20:13,912 --> 00:20:15,880
Guess I'll take the train.
404
00:20:24,957 --> 00:20:28,552
♪ Remember walking
a mile to your house ♪
405
00:20:28,627 --> 00:20:30,822
♪ Aglow in the dark ♪
406
00:20:32,931 --> 00:20:36,526
♪ I made a fumbling play
for your heart ♪
407
00:20:36,602 --> 00:20:39,127
♪ And the act struck a spark ♪
408
00:20:41,139 --> 00:20:44,438
♪ You wore a charm
on the chain that I stole ♪
409
00:20:44,509 --> 00:20:47,069
♪ Especial for you ♪
410
00:20:48,981 --> 00:20:52,417
♪ Love's such a delicate thing
that we do ♪
411
00:20:52,484 --> 00:20:55,009
♪ With nothing to prove ♪
412
00:20:56,688 --> 00:21:01,421
♪ Which I never knew ♪ ♪
413
00:21:02,394 --> 00:21:05,227
Hi. One ticket to Farhampton, please.
32276
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