Original subtitles

Personnel so why why is it important for people to understand what personality is. More you spend a tremendous amount of your time.

Modifiez-moi

Both.

To amuse yourself.

To be engaged in like.

To do productive work oriented.

To do productive.

And work oriented activities engaging with other people.

And so you need to understand what they're like and you need to understand what you're like and people are actually quite the.

And.

If you know what the differences are.

You understand the better and that means you can cooperate with them better and you can compete with inventor and.

All of that's positive plus it's intrinsically interesting that's another advantage.

Is always think about personality is the how much of it really is board with when we pop out what it is shaped and can when does it harm.

Well there's a fair.

Bit of.

The personality there at the beginning even as early as newborns.

And a fair bit of temperament is there in it's nice and form by six months and it's fairly stable.

That doesn't mean that you can.

This that doesn't mean you can't learn new things.

In some sense year.

Born with of.

A set of frodo skills and at for clarity to learn certain things easily.

Whereas other skills aren't there for you and you have to learn them with more difficulty.

It's not like it's impossible.

And extroverted an introvert.

A person can learn the social skills that come more nationally to an extrovert.

But it's very effortful and.

It's it requires a fair bit of exhaustion on the part of the introvert to because they're not as naturally rewarded by the same social interactions.

And a disagreeable person can learn.

The mechanics of caring for other people but again there's a fair bit of effort that goes into it so.

You're sat somewhere.

On a distribution of possibilities and you can move it the more you want to move the more effort.

It takes.

So and one of the options that i talked about this a bit in the course is that.

Knowing your personalities or also useful with regards to.

Such things as occupational choice because you should really fit.

Your personality.

You should fit the job to your personality.

Right so if you're extroverted you might look for sales.

When you say that you can with effort tackle something that might not be naturally and your personality is it better for people to gravitate toward their strengths of their personality.

It's definitely more straightforward and i would recommend doing that again for occupational choice.

And to some degree from mate choice as well.

It's useful.

I would say to expand the limits of your personality in also if you're an agreeable person and you tend to.

Take care of others and you have a natural proclivity in that direction that doesn't mean.

It's not useful to learn the skills necessary to negotiate on your own behalf.

So imagine that your.

There's a distribution of personality on each trade and you're sort of born at one point for some variation thereof.

Now there's useful skills that can be had on the entire distribution and so the broader you could make your personality.

The more skills that you have at your disposal.

Then the more you can match your response to the specific demands of the situation and that's really what you want if you have a maximally flexible personality.

It's like you can be agreeable when it's useful to be agreeable and you can be disagreeable when it's useful to be disagreeable and.

You're an extrovert but you can learn to be the silent when silence is actually the best strategy.

So i would say part of what wisdom is.

At that perhaps you accrue as you age is that your personality expands.

The center.

Point remains the same so maybe you're still typically extrovert but it expands so that are you can be an introvert.

When the situation requires it.

The more strategic yeah.

Yeah i'm or situation leave adaptive and and sometimes it might be might seem a little counterintuitive but you pointed out in the course that something like being disagreeable isn't always a negative.

Sometimes it condemns actually or were you need to this very frequently.

A positive mean you have to put your foot down you have to stand for something you have to be immovable immovable at times.

And you have to stand up for yourself and for the things that you believe it and that means that you have to be willing to withstand.

A certain amount of interpersonal conflict and disagreeable people are definitely better at that.

When you mention of like mate choice.

What what's the what's the key when you kind of looking at the the personality that the person you're you're you're with your with is it the all the opposites attract years and know have similarity.

No no similarities better the only exception to that is probably on the neuroticism dimension of.

If you're high neuroticism you probably don't want a partner who's on also high in eroticism that's too much.

But the rest of it like it's hard for are real extrovert and a real introvert to get along because the extrovert is gonna be rough one around be around people.

All the time plan parties and tell jokes and be social and the introvert is going to find that exhausting.

And so.

Harm and then if you're with regards to conscientiousness like if you're really orderly person and your partner's really disorderly than that's going to be at a constant source of conflict industriousness as well.

If one of us creative and the other isn't you're not going to speak the same language.

So i would say and the any evidence suggests.

This is that similarity is better.

That doesn't mean it has to be identical but you don't want the gap to be so big that negotiation is impossible.

Friend so.

When when you talk about dead the traits that maybe even see the birth or six months.

That's that's get this fascinated.

All parents said you have a have a granddaughter that when you're looking at her are you looking for things that clues insights well you see i'm.

Pretty early on.

Suitability is probably the most obvious one to begin with is like some babies are very very common in oh and and they can tolerate a lot of transformation and change and a lot of exposure to novel.

Social situations and new people and other babies are much more.

Reactive.

And require a lot more soothing and care and so that's something that's obvious pretty soon.

After that you get differences in positive emotion that show up.

The degree a gwent to which the baby is socially engaging and likes to be around lots of people.

And after that then you start see differences in the willingness to abide by rules and and and to and and to show a certain amount of empathy and that really starts to show up.

I would say between two and four or so you can see this stuff pretty early and.

You know it's clear.

I would say that.

And i think this is actually quite clear to parents who have a couple of children is that they're quite shocked at how different their children actually are.

It's it's also the case.

I would say that if your home environment is set up well.

Then your children end up in some ways maximally different from one another because.

You might say well.

Because children are raised in the same family there's going to be a fair bit of similarity between them.

But a lot of that's not the case because if you.

Set your family a property.

Then you have very individualized relationships with each person within the family and that actually helps them capitalize on their temperamental distinct of this.

You have to be pretty tyrannical to end up with all your children.

The same.

Perfect given given the of i know that innate variability in in in childhood temporary.

The all my five or forty different and maybe i wasn't not to western of into a tire you'll see.

The same thing.

Happening on the sociological scale is that in more egalitarian society says more difference between men and women because the a gallon in societies are actually last authoritarian pretty much by definition.

So what happens is people end up.

More different is that their intrinsic intrinsically references are allowed to are encouraged to manifest themselves.

And so if you could.

A lie that with the ability to help people wide know their personality so they have a broader level of skills.

Then maybe you'd have an optimal situation.

So so in this course where you dive into this this this can help parents understand their kids.

Definitely wide see that's especially true in combination with like a personality scale.

We have one called the big five aspect scale.

It's available online at understand myself dark comment.

I'll tell you.

I have my kids do.