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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,510 --> 00:00:03,630 I'll have scrambled eggs. That's it 2 00:00:05,909 --> 00:00:07,109 Western omlette, please. 3 00:00:07,519 --> 00:00:08,719 You know what? 4 00:00:08,980 --> 00:00:10,100 Surprise me. 5 00:00:12,143 --> 00:00:14,284 What am I, some kinda birthday party clown? 6 00:00:15,932 --> 00:00:17,689 Come on. It'll be fun. 7 00:00:18,189 --> 00:00:20,691 Okay. 8 00:00:23,645 --> 00:00:25,279 Surprise! 9 00:00:30,199 --> 00:00:31,983 Hey, who saw Gossip Girl last night? 10 00:00:31,984 --> 00:00:34,402 Best episode ever. 11 00:00:34,403 --> 00:00:35,453 Really? But didn't you think it was weird 12 00:00:35,454 --> 00:00:37,022 how it just cut out in the middle? 13 00:00:37,023 --> 00:00:39,824 It'd be great if that could happen to this conversation. 14 00:00:39,825 --> 00:00:41,826 Wait a minute, no, it didn't cut out. 15 00:00:41,827 --> 00:00:44,362 It ended with Dan deciding that he was going to settle down 16 00:00:44,363 --> 00:00:48,099 and be a father... to Georgina Spark's baby! 17 00:00:48,100 --> 00:00:51,536 - Omg, that's major! - I know, right? 18 00:00:51,537 --> 00:00:57,208 I'm sorry, am I at a slumber party? 19 00:00:57,209 --> 00:00:59,444 Seriously, can we guy up the verbal badminton, 20 00:00:59,445 --> 00:01:01,813 s'il vous plait? 21 00:01:01,814 --> 00:01:03,648 I don't know what happened. 22 00:01:03,649 --> 00:01:05,900 On my tv, it went to static. 23 00:01:05,901 --> 00:01:07,902 My guess is they disconnected your service. 24 00:01:07,903 --> 00:01:08,920 I've tried to tell Mr. Dunbar, 25 00:01:08,921 --> 00:01:10,855 now that his mother has cut him off, 26 00:01:10,856 --> 00:01:13,258 he hast to become responsible and pay his own bills. 27 00:01:13,259 --> 00:01:16,828 But he remains mired in a level of denial 28 00:01:16,829 --> 00:01:20,465 not to be believed. 29 00:01:20,466 --> 00:01:22,667 Hey, what are you guys talking about? 30 00:01:22,668 --> 00:01:25,103 Mr. Dunbar, I'm going to go to the office right now 31 00:01:25,104 --> 00:01:26,204 and draw up a budget for you. 32 00:01:26,205 --> 00:01:27,172 We'll go over it later. 33 00:01:27,173 --> 00:01:28,473 Oh, yay. 34 00:01:28,474 --> 00:01:31,943 I get to crunch numbers with H&rRblecch! 35 00:01:31,944 --> 00:01:35,814 They all said, "come to America." 36 00:01:38,017 --> 00:01:40,218 Hey, what's with this getup? 37 00:01:40,219 --> 00:01:42,554 I'm on my way uptown to start my new job. 38 00:01:42,555 --> 00:01:44,022 Ah, it may be new to you, but technically, 39 00:01:44,023 --> 00:01:45,990 it's the world's oldest profession. 40 00:01:49,228 --> 00:01:52,197 He said you're a shepherd. 41 00:01:54,800 --> 00:01:58,002 I'm hostessing over at Amybeth's kitchen. 42 00:02:00,473 --> 00:02:02,107 Oh, hey, did you ask 'em? 43 00:02:02,108 --> 00:02:04,576 No, no, I did not ask them what they do 44 00:02:04,577 --> 00:02:06,711 with the leftover muffins at the end of the day. 45 00:02:06,712 --> 00:02:09,080 Was there not a point during the interview 46 00:02:09,081 --> 00:02:13,318 when they said, "do you have any questions?" 47 00:02:13,319 --> 00:02:15,520 But honestly, why be a hostess? 48 00:02:15,521 --> 00:02:17,322 I mean, you went to a real college, 49 00:02:17,323 --> 00:02:20,225 not one of those pretend schools that are online. 50 00:02:20,226 --> 00:02:22,360 No offense. 51 00:02:24,130 --> 00:02:27,265 None taken. That was a tough six years. 52 00:02:27,266 --> 00:02:30,135 Being a hostess is an honest day's work. 53 00:02:30,136 --> 00:02:31,369 There's nothing to be ashamed of. 54 00:02:31,370 --> 00:02:33,104 You know, they bake more than they can sell. 55 00:02:33,105 --> 00:02:38,977 That's just-- that's just business 101. 56 00:02:38,978 --> 00:02:42,113 I was defined by that job at that magazine. 57 00:02:42,114 --> 00:02:44,315 I mean, it was my whole identity. 58 00:02:44,316 --> 00:02:47,919 You worked at a magazine? 59 00:02:47,920 --> 00:02:49,187 Yeah, I thought it was a furniture store. 60 00:02:49,188 --> 00:02:50,155 Yeah. 61 00:02:50,156 --> 00:02:54,492 Thank you, caring friends. 62 00:02:54,493 --> 00:02:57,195 No, at my old job I was stuck in my office all day. 63 00:02:57,196 --> 00:02:58,430 I'm not sure where I'm gonna end up, 64 00:02:58,431 --> 00:03:00,198 but in the meantime, I want to be out among people, 65 00:03:00,199 --> 00:03:01,766 because I'm a real people person. 66 00:03:01,767 --> 00:03:04,402 Okay. 67 00:03:04,403 --> 00:03:07,539 I am! 68 00:03:07,540 --> 00:03:08,940 Right? 69 00:03:08,941 --> 00:03:10,225 They can't just throw 'em away. 70 00:03:10,226 --> 00:03:12,577 Oh, enough with the muffins! 71 00:03:15,775 --> 00:03:18,810 d How many ways to say I love you? d 72 00:03:20,947 --> 00:03:25,684 d how many ways to say that I'm not scared d 73 00:03:25,685 --> 00:03:27,953 d with you by my side d 74 00:03:27,954 --> 00:03:30,589 d there is no denying d 75 00:03:30,590 --> 00:03:33,892 d that I can't wait for me and you d 76 00:03:33,902 --> 00:03:37,902 d Rules of Engagement 5x11 d Refusing to Budget Original Air Date on December 6, 2010 Original Air Date on December 6, 2010 77 00:03:37,912 --> 00:03:39,312 == sync by elderman == == for www.addic7ed.com == 78 00:03:42,953 --> 00:03:45,360 And then in the fourth grade, I went as a Power Ranger, 79 00:03:45,460 --> 00:03:48,295 and that was the year that I got the most candy. 80 00:03:48,296 --> 00:03:49,630 Because there were a lot of Power Rangers, 81 00:03:49,631 --> 00:03:53,066 so I hit the same houses, like, two , three times. 82 00:03:53,067 --> 00:03:55,652 The people didn't even notice. 83 00:03:55,653 --> 00:03:58,272 So that was pretty tight. 84 00:03:58,273 --> 00:03:59,873 Talk less. 85 00:03:59,874 --> 00:04:02,609 Oh, sorry. I'm just being sociable. 86 00:04:02,610 --> 00:04:04,978 Tell you what, you're the understudy for the tv. 87 00:04:04,979 --> 00:04:08,448 If something happens to it, you're on. 88 00:04:12,253 --> 00:04:14,921 Ugh. 89 00:04:14,922 --> 00:04:20,227 Hi, hon. 90 00:04:20,228 --> 00:04:23,230 Okay. 91 00:04:23,231 --> 00:04:24,665 What was that? 92 00:04:24,666 --> 00:04:28,001 Oh...That's what I refer to as the nothing call. 93 00:04:28,002 --> 00:04:30,637 Audrey calls me to tell me that she's almost home. 94 00:04:30,638 --> 00:04:33,440 Like I won't piece it together when she walks through the door. 95 00:04:33,441 --> 00:04:36,376 I swear, one of these days I'm just gonna say, 96 00:04:36,377 --> 00:04:38,979 "why the hell are you telling me that?" 97 00:04:38,980 --> 00:04:42,382 - That sounds annoying. - Oh, it is. 98 00:04:42,383 --> 00:04:43,850 But it's, you know, all part of the deal. 99 00:04:43,851 --> 00:04:46,286 What's--what's Jen's most annoying habit? 100 00:04:46,287 --> 00:04:47,954 Oh, no, she doesn't have any. 101 00:04:47,955 --> 00:04:49,222 She's the best. I don't believe you. 102 00:04:49,223 --> 00:04:52,159 Well, there's this one thing... 103 00:04:52,160 --> 00:04:53,527 She's a knuckle cracker. 104 00:04:53,528 --> 00:04:56,997 In bed, I'll be relaxing, on the verge of falling asleep, 105 00:04:56,998 --> 00:05:00,000 and all of a sudden it's, like, crack, crack...Pop, pa-pop! 106 00:05:00,001 --> 00:05:02,235 You know? And I want to say something to her, 107 00:05:02,236 --> 00:05:04,237 but I'm just afraid to hurt her feelings. 108 00:05:04,238 --> 00:05:05,472 You never confront 'em head-on. 109 00:05:05,473 --> 00:05:06,540 They just get defensive. 110 00:05:06,541 --> 00:05:07,808 So what do you do? 111 00:05:07,809 --> 00:05:10,777 You ask her if there's anything about you 112 00:05:10,778 --> 00:05:12,346 that she'd want to change. 113 00:05:12,347 --> 00:05:14,481 She'll tell you something that bugs her, 114 00:05:14,482 --> 00:05:15,816 and you say that you'll work on it. 115 00:05:15,817 --> 00:05:17,718 And then, inevitably, she'll say, 116 00:05:17,719 --> 00:05:19,453 "what would you change about me?" 117 00:05:19,454 --> 00:05:21,755 Ah... 118 00:05:21,756 --> 00:05:25,425 So she brings it on herself. Nice. 119 00:05:25,426 --> 00:05:27,294 I'm not new to this. 120 00:05:27,295 --> 00:05:30,697 Anyway, you say, "well, if I had to pick something, 121 00:05:30,698 --> 00:05:31,898 it'd be the knuckle cracking." 122 00:05:31,899 --> 00:05:33,233 And that really works? 123 00:05:33,234 --> 00:05:34,935 It's worked on all of Audrey's bad habits. 124 00:05:34,936 --> 00:05:37,904 Ehh...Except for that one. 125 00:05:37,905 --> 00:05:39,873 Which one is that? 126 00:05:43,578 --> 00:05:46,546 Hey. Super. 127 00:05:46,547 --> 00:05:48,815 Thanks for letting me know. 128 00:05:52,053 --> 00:05:53,954 Hey, I'm home. 129 00:06:01,162 --> 00:06:04,865 Okay, so you lead the guests over to their table, 130 00:06:04,866 --> 00:06:07,334 and you say, "enjoy your meal." 131 00:06:07,335 --> 00:06:08,368 Oh, no. 132 00:06:08,369 --> 00:06:09,603 It is a lot to remember. 133 00:06:09,604 --> 00:06:10,937 I'll get you a pen. 134 00:06:10,938 --> 00:06:12,172 No, no, no. That woman. 135 00:06:12,173 --> 00:06:13,540 I--I went to college with her. 136 00:06:13,541 --> 00:06:14,941 I can't let her see me working here. 137 00:06:14,942 --> 00:06:16,076 Why not? 138 00:06:16,077 --> 00:06:17,577 You know, it's kind of humiliating. 139 00:06:17,578 --> 00:06:20,313 No, not for you. You're fine. 140 00:06:20,314 --> 00:06:22,616 It's just we were really competitive. 141 00:06:22,617 --> 00:06:25,152 And I had kind of an important job before this. 142 00:06:25,153 --> 00:06:27,804 So now my job's not important. 143 00:06:27,805 --> 00:06:29,156 Fine, you're Hillary freakin' Clinton, okay! 144 00:06:29,157 --> 00:06:30,490 Just cover for me. 145 00:06:33,845 --> 00:06:36,997 - Audrey. - Oh. 146 00:06:36,998 --> 00:06:38,565 How are you? 147 00:06:38,566 --> 00:06:41,034 Oh, Stephanie! Oh, I thought that was you. 148 00:06:41,035 --> 00:06:43,003 - So what are you up to? - Oh, you know, 149 00:06:43,004 --> 00:06:44,971 just getting my brunch on. 150 00:06:44,972 --> 00:06:47,507 Um, Audrey, party of two. 151 00:06:47,508 --> 00:06:49,576 Where's the other person? 152 00:06:49,577 --> 00:06:51,144 She's on her way. 153 00:06:52,613 --> 00:06:55,682 Whoa...Attitude! 154 00:06:55,683 --> 00:06:58,785 Whatever. She's a hostess. 155 00:06:58,786 --> 00:07:00,921 So what are you doing these days? 156 00:07:00,922 --> 00:07:02,322 Actually, I just got promoted. 157 00:07:02,323 --> 00:07:04,791 I run the mentor program at NYU. 158 00:07:04,792 --> 00:07:06,226 Oh, wow. 159 00:07:06,227 --> 00:07:07,461 Yeah, it's kind of a big deal. 160 00:07:07,462 --> 00:07:09,830 What about you? Are you still with the magazine? 161 00:07:09,831 --> 00:07:11,331 Yes, I am. 162 00:07:11,332 --> 00:07:15,001 Kind of an even bigger deal. 163 00:07:15,002 --> 00:07:18,505 Here's your nametag, Audrey. 164 00:07:18,506 --> 00:07:21,808 You know, I have a young woman in the program 165 00:07:21,809 --> 00:07:23,477 who majored in journalism. 166 00:07:23,478 --> 00:07:25,612 Would you be up for mentoring her? 167 00:07:25,613 --> 00:07:27,080 Well, sure. 168 00:07:27,081 --> 00:07:31,151 I hope she's smart. I have a lot to offer. 169 00:07:31,152 --> 00:07:35,589 So you said that you're still working at the magazine? 170 00:07:35,590 --> 00:07:37,324 What happened to, 171 00:07:37,325 --> 00:07:39,726 "there's no shame in being a hostess"? 172 00:07:39,727 --> 00:07:41,962 There isn't. It's just... 173 00:07:41,963 --> 00:07:44,331 In the time it would have taken to explain-- 174 00:07:44,332 --> 00:07:45,565 I quit. I'm a hostess now. 175 00:07:45,566 --> 00:07:47,534 1.4 seconds. 176 00:07:47,535 --> 00:07:50,203 It's easy for you to just sit there and take shots. 177 00:07:50,204 --> 00:07:52,806 That's why I'm doing it. 178 00:07:52,807 --> 00:07:55,008 All right, so what's the plan, Lucy? 179 00:07:55,009 --> 00:07:57,410 Are you gonna get Ethel to dress up as your boss? 180 00:07:57,411 --> 00:07:59,980 I'm having Julia meet me 181 00:07:59,981 --> 00:08:01,715 in the lobby of my old building. 182 00:08:01,716 --> 00:08:04,284 - Why? - It's what Stephanie wanted. 183 00:08:04,285 --> 00:08:06,353 I'll just make it look like I just came down from my office, 184 00:08:06,354 --> 00:08:07,654 and I'll take her straight to lunch. 185 00:08:07,655 --> 00:08:08,855 Take her to Amybeth's. 186 00:08:08,856 --> 00:08:12,459 Give her the full tour of places you no longer work. 187 00:08:12,460 --> 00:08:14,160 Very funny. 188 00:08:14,161 --> 00:08:16,496 Don't worry, I have this all figured out. 189 00:08:16,497 --> 00:08:18,198 I'm gonna teach her everything I know, 190 00:08:18,199 --> 00:08:23,303 and she'll be none the wiser. 191 00:08:27,608 --> 00:08:30,577 Well, well, well... 192 00:08:30,578 --> 00:08:35,682 This place is crawling with wiener candy. 193 00:08:35,683 --> 00:08:38,752 Nothing off-putting about that, sir. 194 00:08:38,753 --> 00:08:40,320 I'm not sure you've chosen 195 00:08:40,321 --> 00:08:41,688 the best venue in which to discuss this, 196 00:08:41,689 --> 00:08:43,490 but I've outlined a very basic budget. 197 00:08:43,491 --> 00:08:45,942 Ehh. Speaking of which, 198 00:08:45,943 --> 00:08:47,227 I bet this chick in the red could budge-it 199 00:08:47,228 --> 00:08:49,162 without even touching it, 200 00:08:49,163 --> 00:08:51,331 if you know what I mean. 201 00:08:51,332 --> 00:08:53,500 I often long for the simpler time 202 00:08:53,501 --> 00:08:57,137 when I didn't know what you meant. 203 00:08:57,138 --> 00:09:00,206 Barkeep, can I get a glass of champagne 204 00:09:00,207 --> 00:09:04,511 for every chick in the bar under 110 pounds? 205 00:09:04,512 --> 00:09:06,279 Sir, do you really think that's wise? 206 00:09:06,280 --> 00:09:07,581 Oh, you know what, you're right. 207 00:09:07,582 --> 00:09:11,518 Let's make it 115. Don't want to offend. 208 00:09:11,519 --> 00:09:13,320 - But back to your finances. - Yes. Here we go. 209 00:09:13,321 --> 00:09:15,889 This is what you spend in an average night 210 00:09:15,890 --> 00:09:17,424 buying women cocktails. 211 00:09:17,425 --> 00:09:19,426 You just said-- 212 00:09:19,427 --> 00:09:20,927 cocktails. Yes. I know that word can be 213 00:09:20,928 --> 00:09:24,197 broken down with hilarious consequences. 214 00:09:24,198 --> 00:09:26,933 - Now, please, sir, focus on-- - excuse me. 215 00:09:26,934 --> 00:09:30,337 Hi. I just wanted to thank you for the champagne. 216 00:09:30,338 --> 00:09:32,105 Oh, you're very welcome. 217 00:09:32,106 --> 00:09:33,273 I'm Cheyenne. 218 00:09:33,274 --> 00:09:35,008 Oh, shy-Anne. 219 00:09:35,009 --> 00:09:36,509 Well, I'm suave Russell. 220 00:09:36,510 --> 00:09:39,245 That's cute. 221 00:09:39,246 --> 00:09:40,747 No, I was born in Wyoming. 222 00:09:40,748 --> 00:09:42,349 Oh, so you're a mountain girl. 223 00:09:42,350 --> 00:09:44,150 Oh, I am. 224 00:09:44,151 --> 00:09:47,053 Well, let's start mountin', girl. 225 00:09:47,054 --> 00:09:49,789 Really? 226 00:09:49,790 --> 00:09:51,291 That's funny. 227 00:09:51,292 --> 00:09:53,026 Do you want to come join me at my table? 228 00:09:53,027 --> 00:09:54,494 Really? 229 00:09:54,495 --> 00:09:56,796 I'd love to. 230 00:09:59,433 --> 00:10:03,903 Coming next fall on the skankiest catch. 231 00:10:07,975 --> 00:10:11,444 I mean, they call it Sports Illustrated for Kids, 232 00:10:11,445 --> 00:10:15,448 but this is every bit as informative as the other one. 233 00:10:15,449 --> 00:10:17,150 That's great, honey. 234 00:10:17,151 --> 00:10:20,987 Apollo ono has a cat named icy. 235 00:10:20,988 --> 00:10:23,857 I mean, that's just good reporting. 236 00:10:31,399 --> 00:10:34,668 Hey, sweetie, I was wondering, 237 00:10:34,669 --> 00:10:37,137 if you could change one thing about me, 238 00:10:37,138 --> 00:10:38,405 what would it be? 239 00:10:38,406 --> 00:10:41,241 Nothing, honey. You're perfect. 240 00:10:41,242 --> 00:10:43,343 No, no, come on. Come on, honey. 241 00:10:43,344 --> 00:10:44,911 There's gotta be something. 242 00:10:44,912 --> 00:10:47,580 Hmm. All right, well, if I had to pick one thing... 243 00:10:47,581 --> 00:10:50,016 - Yeah? - You can be a tiny bit chatty. 244 00:10:50,017 --> 00:10:53,269 Okay. Okay. No, that's--that's great. 245 00:10:53,270 --> 00:10:56,656 I will work on that. 246 00:10:56,657 --> 00:10:58,992 Well, might there be something 247 00:10:58,993 --> 00:11:00,160 that you want to ask me? 248 00:11:00,161 --> 00:11:03,797 Yeah, why are you so chatty? 249 00:11:03,798 --> 00:11:05,732 What? 250 00:11:05,733 --> 00:11:09,369 Well, it's like... I wake up to you talking. 251 00:11:09,370 --> 00:11:12,305 All morning, then all day, then at night. 252 00:11:12,306 --> 00:11:14,474 You know, watching tv, having dinner. 253 00:11:14,475 --> 00:11:16,710 Even during sex. 254 00:11:16,711 --> 00:11:18,178 And it's not even about the sex. 255 00:11:18,179 --> 00:11:22,599 It's just random babble-- talk, talk, talk, talk, talk. 256 00:11:22,600 --> 00:11:26,019 I mean, you have this need to fill the air with noise. 257 00:11:26,020 --> 00:11:28,555 I have literally gone outside sometimes 258 00:11:28,556 --> 00:11:29,723 for some peace and quiet, 259 00:11:29,724 --> 00:11:32,225 and we live in the busiest city in the world! 260 00:11:34,895 --> 00:11:39,365 Wow, I guess I didn't realize how much that bothered me. 261 00:11:39,366 --> 00:11:40,600 Yeah. 262 00:11:40,601 --> 00:11:43,336 Thanks for letting me get it off my chest. 263 00:11:43,337 --> 00:11:46,005 Good night, honey. 264 00:11:52,113 --> 00:11:54,547 So ultimately, what I learned was 265 00:11:54,548 --> 00:11:58,051 when you buy a used jet, get a receipt! 266 00:11:58,052 --> 00:12:01,621 Oh, I have to use the little girls room. 267 00:12:01,622 --> 00:12:03,089 Oh, well, wait a second. 268 00:12:03,090 --> 00:12:06,025 Here, give this to the attendant. 269 00:12:06,026 --> 00:12:07,427 Oh, they don't have one here. 270 00:12:07,428 --> 00:12:10,997 Oh, well, just to be clear, I'm rich. 271 00:12:10,998 --> 00:12:13,600 - Okay. - All right. 272 00:12:13,601 --> 00:12:16,503 Ooo-wee! 273 00:12:16,504 --> 00:12:17,937 I finally get it now. 274 00:12:17,938 --> 00:12:20,807 It's all about your lack of self-esteem, isn't it? 275 00:12:20,808 --> 00:12:22,909 - What is? - Your compulsion 276 00:12:22,910 --> 00:12:25,478 to try to win women with lies and extravagance. 277 00:12:25,479 --> 00:12:27,147 If you had something real to offer, 278 00:12:27,148 --> 00:12:29,349 you wouldn't need to hide behind the expensive food 279 00:12:29,350 --> 00:12:30,483 and fancy drinks. 280 00:12:30,484 --> 00:12:34,621 Oh, really? 281 00:12:34,622 --> 00:12:36,656 I'm not hiding behind anything. 282 00:12:37,842 --> 00:12:40,693 Who asked for your dumb opinion anyway? 283 00:12:40,694 --> 00:12:44,063 Timmy? 284 00:12:44,064 --> 00:12:46,132 Timmy? 285 00:12:59,361 --> 00:13:02,203 Ah, all right. Here we go. 286 00:13:02,303 --> 00:13:06,072 Oh...It's very dark. 287 00:13:06,073 --> 00:13:07,707 Let me get the lights. 288 00:13:13,380 --> 00:13:14,948 Crap. Hey, you know what, 289 00:13:14,949 --> 00:13:17,250 this is more romantic anyway. Why don't you have a seat? 290 00:13:17,251 --> 00:13:19,886 Okay. 291 00:13:19,887 --> 00:13:22,555 Aah! 292 00:13:22,556 --> 00:13:23,957 Are you okay? 293 00:13:23,958 --> 00:13:26,559 Just took a corner of a table in the nards. 294 00:13:26,560 --> 00:13:30,497 No biggie. 295 00:13:30,498 --> 00:13:33,199 I'm just slumming it here until my entire floor 296 00:13:33,200 --> 00:13:35,702 at the Dakota is redone. 297 00:13:35,703 --> 00:13:37,303 I talked to Yoko. 298 00:13:37,304 --> 00:13:40,206 She said her and John did it-- took six months. 299 00:13:40,207 --> 00:13:43,309 But we're going on a year here. I mean, what's up? 300 00:13:43,310 --> 00:13:46,012 Who are John and Yoko? 301 00:13:46,013 --> 00:13:49,749 Oh, I have no idea. I'm too young. 302 00:13:49,750 --> 00:13:53,787 So why don't you just go stay on your yacht? 303 00:13:53,788 --> 00:13:57,257 It's in the yacht shop. 304 00:13:57,258 --> 00:13:58,958 And they were gonna give me a loaner, 305 00:13:58,959 --> 00:14:00,426 but it doesn't have GPS. 306 00:14:00,427 --> 00:14:03,229 I don't want to get lost and wind up on Gilligan's Island. 307 00:14:03,230 --> 00:14:06,132 - What's that? - Don't ask me. 308 00:14:06,133 --> 00:14:09,569 I'm too young. 309 00:14:09,570 --> 00:14:11,538 Mmm, yeah. 310 00:14:11,539 --> 00:14:13,206 There we go. 311 00:14:15,176 --> 00:14:17,577 Why doesn't this lamp work? 312 00:14:17,578 --> 00:14:20,830 Oh, no, you know what, it must be a out. 313 00:14:20,831 --> 00:14:24,184 Quick, let's see if the bed still works. 314 00:14:24,185 --> 00:14:25,819 All the other buildings are lit up. 315 00:14:27,188 --> 00:14:28,988 What's going on, Russell? 316 00:14:28,989 --> 00:14:31,191 Do you not have electricity? 317 00:14:33,327 --> 00:14:36,529 Got a confession to make. 318 00:14:36,530 --> 00:14:38,631 I am Amish. 319 00:14:42,770 --> 00:14:45,004 Art thou shocked? 320 00:14:46,774 --> 00:14:50,210 Art thou serious? 321 00:14:50,211 --> 00:14:51,678 How dumb do you think I am? 322 00:14:51,679 --> 00:14:55,148 Not as dumb as I was hoping. 323 00:14:57,418 --> 00:15:00,019 All right, here's the thing. 324 00:15:00,020 --> 00:15:02,455 My trust fund was cut off. 325 00:15:02,456 --> 00:15:07,260 And I have not yet learned how to fend for myself. 326 00:15:07,261 --> 00:15:10,296 But I'm sure you'll stand by me while I learn 327 00:15:10,297 --> 00:15:14,434 because you and I, I feel, have a real connection. 328 00:15:22,009 --> 00:15:23,877 Hey, Jeff. I'm in the lobby. 329 00:15:23,878 --> 00:15:27,113 The girl's not here yet, but so far, so good. 330 00:15:27,114 --> 00:15:28,781 Thanks. I need to know where you are 331 00:15:28,782 --> 00:15:31,618 every second of every day. 332 00:15:31,619 --> 00:15:34,420 Where are you, anyway? 333 00:15:34,421 --> 00:15:36,823 Well, your other old workplace. 334 00:15:36,824 --> 00:15:38,575 They put out a fine product. 335 00:15:38,576 --> 00:15:40,526 Oh, excuse me... 336 00:15:40,527 --> 00:15:44,364 Who do I talk to about day-old muffins? 337 00:15:51,672 --> 00:15:53,206 Are you Julia? 338 00:15:53,207 --> 00:15:55,375 - Audrey. - Hi. 339 00:15:55,376 --> 00:15:57,427 I just came down in the elevator from a high-level meeting. 340 00:15:57,428 --> 00:15:58,811 Wow. 341 00:15:58,812 --> 00:16:00,980 - It's very nice to meet you. - Oh, you too. 342 00:16:00,981 --> 00:16:02,682 I have a lot to offer. 343 00:16:02,683 --> 00:16:04,934 Great. I want to learn everything. 344 00:16:04,935 --> 00:16:06,185 And learn, you shall. 345 00:16:06,186 --> 00:16:07,153 But I have a hankering 346 00:16:07,154 --> 00:16:08,354 for a cobb salad-- what do you say? 347 00:16:08,355 --> 00:16:11,324 Oh, yeah. That sounds really great. 348 00:16:11,325 --> 00:16:13,559 But if it's not too much trouble, 349 00:16:13,560 --> 00:16:15,895 I was really hoping I'd get to see your office first. 350 00:16:15,896 --> 00:16:17,830 Oh, uh...Uh... 351 00:16:17,831 --> 00:16:19,732 It's being fumigated. 352 00:16:19,733 --> 00:16:21,400 Oh, uh-- 353 00:16:21,401 --> 00:16:25,972 bugs. Bedbugs. 354 00:16:25,973 --> 00:16:28,708 Angry little ones. 355 00:16:31,929 --> 00:16:33,212 And what can I get you? 356 00:16:33,213 --> 00:16:35,715 Oh, I'm good. Day-old. Half price. 357 00:16:37,685 --> 00:16:40,820 How's your sandwich? 358 00:16:43,390 --> 00:16:46,926 So I call you chatty, and now you're not gonna talk? 359 00:16:50,097 --> 00:16:52,198 I wouldn't have said anything if I knew-- 360 00:16:52,199 --> 00:16:55,935 why--why are you trying to fix this? 361 00:16:57,404 --> 00:17:00,123 Scooch. 362 00:17:02,176 --> 00:17:03,576 You were right, Timmy. 363 00:17:03,577 --> 00:17:06,412 Poor guys don't get the hoo-hah. 364 00:17:06,413 --> 00:17:09,916 Not even close to what I said, sir. 365 00:17:09,917 --> 00:17:11,851 I was simply telling you not to pretend 366 00:17:11,852 --> 00:17:13,753 to be something other than yourself. 367 00:17:13,754 --> 00:17:18,558 Yeah, like tall or std-free. 368 00:17:18,559 --> 00:17:20,860 Sir, you needn't wallow. It's not as if you're penniless. 369 00:17:20,861 --> 00:17:22,595 All you need to do is be responsible 370 00:17:22,596 --> 00:17:23,596 and pay your bills. 371 00:17:23,597 --> 00:17:28,368 I would like my gas turned back on. 372 00:17:28,369 --> 00:17:30,636 So I can stick my head in the oven. 373 00:17:33,073 --> 00:17:35,742 Oh, my God... 374 00:17:35,743 --> 00:17:37,043 It's Gina . Oh, crap! 375 00:17:37,044 --> 00:17:39,645 She publishes your magazine and so many others. 376 00:17:39,646 --> 00:17:41,214 Do you think there's a chance I could meet her? 377 00:17:41,215 --> 00:17:42,481 She's very busy, 378 00:17:42,482 --> 00:17:43,750 but I will tell her you say hi. 379 00:17:43,751 --> 00:17:45,585 Now, about that cobb salad. Miss ? 380 00:17:45,586 --> 00:17:48,121 What are you doing? Shut up! 381 00:17:48,122 --> 00:17:50,506 - Can I help you? - Hi, Gina. 382 00:17:50,507 --> 00:17:52,875 This is Julia. I'm mentoring her. 383 00:17:52,876 --> 00:17:55,061 And you are? 384 00:17:55,062 --> 00:17:57,363 Audrey Bingham. 385 00:17:57,364 --> 00:17:59,165 I was assistant editor of Indoor Living. 386 00:17:59,166 --> 00:18:01,667 - Was? - Is. Am. 387 00:18:01,668 --> 00:18:02,869 Did you just start? 388 00:18:02,870 --> 00:18:04,604 No, I've worked here for years. 389 00:18:04,605 --> 00:18:07,874 Last fall I pitched the whole Ottoman Empire spread. 390 00:18:07,875 --> 00:18:10,176 Did we use it? 391 00:18:10,177 --> 00:18:13,846 It was the freaking cover. 392 00:18:13,847 --> 00:18:16,866 I busted my ass on that issue, 393 00:18:16,867 --> 00:18:18,534 and you don't even remember if we used it? 394 00:18:18,535 --> 00:18:19,786 That's how little I meant? 395 00:18:19,787 --> 00:18:22,922 - I know who you are. - Thank you. 396 00:18:22,923 --> 00:18:25,391 You're the one who stole the chair. 397 00:18:26,860 --> 00:18:28,728 That was my chair. 398 00:18:28,729 --> 00:18:32,131 And you know something, I am glad I quit. 399 00:18:32,132 --> 00:18:33,399 You don't work here? 400 00:18:33,400 --> 00:18:35,935 You're just putting that together now, genius? 401 00:18:35,936 --> 00:18:38,888 Well, then, why did you volunteer-- 402 00:18:38,889 --> 00:18:41,407 Because I have a lot to offer! 403 00:18:44,344 --> 00:18:45,945 Hey, it's me. 404 00:18:45,946 --> 00:18:48,481 I'll be home in a few minutes. 405 00:18:48,482 --> 00:18:49,949 Because you're my husband, 406 00:18:49,950 --> 00:18:52,585 and I thought you might be interested! 407 00:18:54,822 --> 00:18:57,924 Ahh...There you go. 408 00:19:02,362 --> 00:19:05,398 Sade and Merlot. Oh. 409 00:19:05,399 --> 00:19:07,266 Perhaps I should have been a bit clearer, sir. 410 00:19:07,267 --> 00:19:09,502 This is merely a work visit. 411 00:19:11,205 --> 00:19:12,705 Good one. 412 00:19:12,706 --> 00:19:16,509 Straight from the Calcutta chuckle hut. 413 00:19:16,510 --> 00:19:17,910 So, uh, what do we do? 414 00:19:17,911 --> 00:19:19,579 Well, where are your bills? 415 00:19:19,580 --> 00:19:22,932 I keep 'em over here. 416 00:19:29,973 --> 00:19:31,924 I couldn't be less surprised. 417 00:19:31,925 --> 00:19:36,329 All right, well, why don't you reach in there 418 00:19:36,330 --> 00:19:38,397 and pick one. 419 00:19:43,003 --> 00:19:46,072 What's that one for? 420 00:19:46,073 --> 00:19:50,810 Well, this one is, uh... 421 00:19:50,811 --> 00:19:55,915 Huh. This isn't a bill at all, sir. 422 00:19:55,916 --> 00:19:57,650 It's actually a dividend check from stocks 423 00:19:57,651 --> 00:19:59,385 - that are still in your name. - Wha-wha-what? 424 00:19:59,386 --> 00:20:00,586 Your mother must have overlooked them. 425 00:20:00,587 --> 00:20:03,055 Really? 426 00:20:03,056 --> 00:20:04,924 Yes, and fortuitously so. 427 00:20:04,925 --> 00:20:06,625 You see, this influx of funds, 428 00:20:06,626 --> 00:20:07,927 you'll be able to pay off all of these bills 429 00:20:07,928 --> 00:20:10,196 and still have a little left over for a rainy day. 430 00:20:10,197 --> 00:20:12,765 Or... 431 00:20:12,766 --> 00:20:15,234 Yeah! 432 00:20:15,235 --> 00:20:18,004 Whoo-hoo! I'm rich again! 433 00:20:18,005 --> 00:20:19,772 I love it! Sir, sir, 434 00:20:19,773 --> 00:20:23,910 - I implore you to-- - come on, Timmy! 435 00:20:23,911 --> 00:20:25,211 Have some fun! 436 00:20:31,805 --> 00:20:34,264 I mean, "chatty"? I just like to talk. 437 00:20:34,392 --> 00:20:36,459 You know, things occur to me, and I want to share them. 438 00:20:36,460 --> 00:20:38,228 What, am I supposed to email her? 439 00:20:38,229 --> 00:20:39,596 I really don't think I talk any more 440 00:20:39,597 --> 00:20:41,398 than the next guy, you know? 441 00:20:41,399 --> 00:20:45,201 What kind of beer is this? It's good. Mmm. 442 00:20:45,202 --> 00:20:47,937 My Uncle Roddy has six toes. 443 00:20:47,938 --> 00:20:50,407 You stop cracking your knuckles, 444 00:20:50,408 --> 00:20:53,309 and this one will shut up. 445 00:20:54,695 --> 00:20:58,081 == sync by elderman == == for www.addic7ed.com == 31947

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