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1
00:00:02,510 --> 00:00:03,630
I'll have scrambled eggs.
That's it
2
00:00:05,909 --> 00:00:07,109
Western omlette, please.
3
00:00:07,519 --> 00:00:08,719
You know what?
4
00:00:08,980 --> 00:00:10,100
Surprise me.
5
00:00:12,143 --> 00:00:14,284
What am I,
some kinda birthday party clown?
6
00:00:15,932 --> 00:00:17,689
Come on. It'll be fun.
7
00:00:18,189 --> 00:00:20,691
Okay.
8
00:00:23,645 --> 00:00:25,279
Surprise!
9
00:00:30,199 --> 00:00:31,983
Hey, who saw Gossip Girl
last night?
10
00:00:31,984 --> 00:00:34,402
Best episode ever.
11
00:00:34,403 --> 00:00:35,453
Really? But didn't you think
it was weird
12
00:00:35,454 --> 00:00:37,022
how it just cut out
in the middle?
13
00:00:37,023 --> 00:00:39,824
It'd be great if that could
happen to this conversation.
14
00:00:39,825 --> 00:00:41,826
Wait a minute, no,
it didn't cut out.
15
00:00:41,827 --> 00:00:44,362
It ended with Dan deciding that
he was going to settle down
16
00:00:44,363 --> 00:00:48,099
and be a father...
to Georgina Spark's baby!
17
00:00:48,100 --> 00:00:51,536
- Omg, that's major!
- I know, right?
18
00:00:51,537 --> 00:00:57,208
I'm sorry, am I
at a slumber party?
19
00:00:57,209 --> 00:00:59,444
Seriously, can we guy up
the verbal badminton,
20
00:00:59,445 --> 00:01:01,813
s'il vous plait?
21
00:01:01,814 --> 00:01:03,648
I don't know what happened.
22
00:01:03,649 --> 00:01:05,900
On my tv,
it went to static.
23
00:01:05,901 --> 00:01:07,902
My guess is
they disconnected your service.
24
00:01:07,903 --> 00:01:08,920
I've tried to tell Mr. Dunbar,
25
00:01:08,921 --> 00:01:10,855
now that his mother
has cut him off,
26
00:01:10,856 --> 00:01:13,258
he hast to become responsible
and pay his own bills.
27
00:01:13,259 --> 00:01:16,828
But he remains mired
in a level of denial
28
00:01:16,829 --> 00:01:20,465
not to be believed.
29
00:01:20,466 --> 00:01:22,667
Hey, what are you guys
talking about?
30
00:01:22,668 --> 00:01:25,103
Mr. Dunbar, I'm going to go
to the office right now
31
00:01:25,104 --> 00:01:26,204
and draw up a budget for you.
32
00:01:26,205 --> 00:01:27,172
We'll go over it later.
33
00:01:27,173 --> 00:01:28,473
Oh, yay.
34
00:01:28,474 --> 00:01:31,943
I get to crunch numbers
with H&rRblecch!
35
00:01:31,944 --> 00:01:35,814
They all said,
"come to America."
36
00:01:38,017 --> 00:01:40,218
Hey, what's with
this getup?
37
00:01:40,219 --> 00:01:42,554
I'm on my way uptown
to start my new job.
38
00:01:42,555 --> 00:01:44,022
Ah, it may be new to you,
but technically,
39
00:01:44,023 --> 00:01:45,990
it's the world's
oldest profession.
40
00:01:49,228 --> 00:01:52,197
He said you're
a shepherd.
41
00:01:54,800 --> 00:01:58,002
I'm hostessing over
at Amybeth's kitchen.
42
00:02:00,473 --> 00:02:02,107
Oh, hey,
did you ask 'em?
43
00:02:02,108 --> 00:02:04,576
No, no, I did not ask them
what they do
44
00:02:04,577 --> 00:02:06,711
with the leftover muffins
at the end of the day.
45
00:02:06,712 --> 00:02:09,080
Was there not a point
during the interview
46
00:02:09,081 --> 00:02:13,318
when they said,
"do you have any questions?"
47
00:02:13,319 --> 00:02:15,520
But honestly,
why be a hostess?
48
00:02:15,521 --> 00:02:17,322
I mean,
you went to a real college,
49
00:02:17,323 --> 00:02:20,225
not one of those pretend schools
that are online.
50
00:02:20,226 --> 00:02:22,360
No offense.
51
00:02:24,130 --> 00:02:27,265
None taken.
That was a tough six years.
52
00:02:27,266 --> 00:02:30,135
Being a hostess is
an honest day's work.
53
00:02:30,136 --> 00:02:31,369
There's nothing
to be ashamed of.
54
00:02:31,370 --> 00:02:33,104
You know, they bake more
than they can sell.
55
00:02:33,105 --> 00:02:38,977
That's just--
that's just business 101.
56
00:02:38,978 --> 00:02:42,113
I was defined by that job
at that magazine.
57
00:02:42,114 --> 00:02:44,315
I mean, it was
my whole identity.
58
00:02:44,316 --> 00:02:47,919
You worked at a magazine?
59
00:02:47,920 --> 00:02:49,187
Yeah, I thought it was
a furniture store.
60
00:02:49,188 --> 00:02:50,155
Yeah.
61
00:02:50,156 --> 00:02:54,492
Thank you, caring friends.
62
00:02:54,493 --> 00:02:57,195
No, at my old job I was
stuck in my office all day.
63
00:02:57,196 --> 00:02:58,430
I'm not sure where
I'm gonna end up,
64
00:02:58,431 --> 00:03:00,198
but in the meantime,
I want to be out among people,
65
00:03:00,199 --> 00:03:01,766
because I'm a real
people person.
66
00:03:01,767 --> 00:03:04,402
Okay.
67
00:03:04,403 --> 00:03:07,539
I am!
68
00:03:07,540 --> 00:03:08,940
Right?
69
00:03:08,941 --> 00:03:10,225
They can't just
throw 'em away.
70
00:03:10,226 --> 00:03:12,577
Oh, enough with the muffins!
71
00:03:15,775 --> 00:03:18,810
d How many ways
to say I love you? d
72
00:03:20,947 --> 00:03:25,684
d how many ways to say
that I'm not scared d
73
00:03:25,685 --> 00:03:27,953
d with you by my side d
74
00:03:27,954 --> 00:03:30,589
d there is no denying d
75
00:03:30,590 --> 00:03:33,892
d that I can't wait
for me and you d
76
00:03:33,902 --> 00:03:37,902
d Rules of Engagement 5x11 d
Refusing to Budget
Original Air Date on December 6, 2010
Original Air Date on December 6, 2010
77
00:03:37,912 --> 00:03:39,312
== sync by elderman ==
== for www.addic7ed.com ==
78
00:03:42,953 --> 00:03:45,360
And then in the fourth grade,
I went as a Power Ranger,
79
00:03:45,460 --> 00:03:48,295
and that was the year
that I got the most candy.
80
00:03:48,296 --> 00:03:49,630
Because there were a lot
of Power Rangers,
81
00:03:49,631 --> 00:03:53,066
so I hit the same houses,
like, two , three times.
82
00:03:53,067 --> 00:03:55,652
The people didn't even notice.
83
00:03:55,653 --> 00:03:58,272
So that was pretty tight.
84
00:03:58,273 --> 00:03:59,873
Talk less.
85
00:03:59,874 --> 00:04:02,609
Oh, sorry.
I'm just being sociable.
86
00:04:02,610 --> 00:04:04,978
Tell you what, you're
the understudy for the tv.
87
00:04:04,979 --> 00:04:08,448
If something happens to it,
you're on.
88
00:04:12,253 --> 00:04:14,921
Ugh.
89
00:04:14,922 --> 00:04:20,227
Hi, hon.
90
00:04:20,228 --> 00:04:23,230
Okay.
91
00:04:23,231 --> 00:04:24,665
What was that?
92
00:04:24,666 --> 00:04:28,001
Oh...That's what I refer to
as the nothing call.
93
00:04:28,002 --> 00:04:30,637
Audrey calls me to tell me
that she's almost home.
94
00:04:30,638 --> 00:04:33,440
Like I won't piece it together
when she walks through the door.
95
00:04:33,441 --> 00:04:36,376
I swear, one of these days
I'm just gonna say,
96
00:04:36,377 --> 00:04:38,979
"why the hell are you
telling me that?"
97
00:04:38,980 --> 00:04:42,382
- That sounds annoying.
- Oh, it is.
98
00:04:42,383 --> 00:04:43,850
But it's, you know,
all part of the deal.
99
00:04:43,851 --> 00:04:46,286
What's--what's Jen's
most annoying habit?
100
00:04:46,287 --> 00:04:47,954
Oh, no,
she doesn't have any.
101
00:04:47,955 --> 00:04:49,222
She's the best.
I don't believe you.
102
00:04:49,223 --> 00:04:52,159
Well,
there's this one thing...
103
00:04:52,160 --> 00:04:53,527
She's a knuckle cracker.
104
00:04:53,528 --> 00:04:56,997
In bed, I'll be relaxing,
on the verge of falling asleep,
105
00:04:56,998 --> 00:05:00,000
and all of a sudden it's, like,
crack, crack...Pop, pa-pop!
106
00:05:00,001 --> 00:05:02,235
You know? And I want
to say something to her,
107
00:05:02,236 --> 00:05:04,237
but I'm just afraid
to hurt her feelings.
108
00:05:04,238 --> 00:05:05,472
You never confront 'em
head-on.
109
00:05:05,473 --> 00:05:06,540
They just get defensive.
110
00:05:06,541 --> 00:05:07,808
So what do you do?
111
00:05:07,809 --> 00:05:10,777
You ask her if
there's anything about you
112
00:05:10,778 --> 00:05:12,346
that she'd want to change.
113
00:05:12,347 --> 00:05:14,481
She'll tell you something
that bugs her,
114
00:05:14,482 --> 00:05:15,816
and you say that
you'll work on it.
115
00:05:15,817 --> 00:05:17,718
And then, inevitably,
she'll say,
116
00:05:17,719 --> 00:05:19,453
"what would you change
about me?"
117
00:05:19,454 --> 00:05:21,755
Ah...
118
00:05:21,756 --> 00:05:25,425
So she brings it on herself.
Nice.
119
00:05:25,426 --> 00:05:27,294
I'm not new to this.
120
00:05:27,295 --> 00:05:30,697
Anyway, you say, "well,
if I had to pick something,
121
00:05:30,698 --> 00:05:31,898
it'd be the knuckle cracking."
122
00:05:31,899 --> 00:05:33,233
And that really works?
123
00:05:33,234 --> 00:05:34,935
It's worked on all
of Audrey's bad habits.
124
00:05:34,936 --> 00:05:37,904
Ehh...Except for that one.
125
00:05:37,905 --> 00:05:39,873
Which one is that?
126
00:05:43,578 --> 00:05:46,546
Hey. Super.
127
00:05:46,547 --> 00:05:48,815
Thanks for letting me know.
128
00:05:52,053 --> 00:05:53,954
Hey, I'm home.
129
00:06:01,162 --> 00:06:04,865
Okay, so you lead the guests
over to their table,
130
00:06:04,866 --> 00:06:07,334
and you say,
"enjoy your meal."
131
00:06:07,335 --> 00:06:08,368
Oh, no.
132
00:06:08,369 --> 00:06:09,603
It is a lot to remember.
133
00:06:09,604 --> 00:06:10,937
I'll get you a pen.
134
00:06:10,938 --> 00:06:12,172
No, no, no.
That woman.
135
00:06:12,173 --> 00:06:13,540
I--I went to college
with her.
136
00:06:13,541 --> 00:06:14,941
I can't let her see me
working here.
137
00:06:14,942 --> 00:06:16,076
Why not?
138
00:06:16,077 --> 00:06:17,577
You know,
it's kind of humiliating.
139
00:06:17,578 --> 00:06:20,313
No, not for you.
You're fine.
140
00:06:20,314 --> 00:06:22,616
It's just we were
really competitive.
141
00:06:22,617 --> 00:06:25,152
And I had kind of
an important job before this.
142
00:06:25,153 --> 00:06:27,804
So now my job's
not important.
143
00:06:27,805 --> 00:06:29,156
Fine, you're Hillary
freakin' Clinton, okay!
144
00:06:29,157 --> 00:06:30,490
Just cover for me.
145
00:06:33,845 --> 00:06:36,997
- Audrey.
- Oh.
146
00:06:36,998 --> 00:06:38,565
How are you?
147
00:06:38,566 --> 00:06:41,034
Oh, Stephanie!
Oh, I thought that was you.
148
00:06:41,035 --> 00:06:43,003
- So what are you up to?
- Oh, you know,
149
00:06:43,004 --> 00:06:44,971
just getting my brunch on.
150
00:06:44,972 --> 00:06:47,507
Um, Audrey, party of two.
151
00:06:47,508 --> 00:06:49,576
Where's the other person?
152
00:06:49,577 --> 00:06:51,144
She's on her way.
153
00:06:52,613 --> 00:06:55,682
Whoa...Attitude!
154
00:06:55,683 --> 00:06:58,785
Whatever.
She's a hostess.
155
00:06:58,786 --> 00:07:00,921
So what are you doing
these days?
156
00:07:00,922 --> 00:07:02,322
Actually,
I just got promoted.
157
00:07:02,323 --> 00:07:04,791
I run the mentor program
at NYU.
158
00:07:04,792 --> 00:07:06,226
Oh, wow.
159
00:07:06,227 --> 00:07:07,461
Yeah, it's kind of
a big deal.
160
00:07:07,462 --> 00:07:09,830
What about you?
Are you still with the magazine?
161
00:07:09,831 --> 00:07:11,331
Yes, I am.
162
00:07:11,332 --> 00:07:15,001
Kind of an even
bigger deal.
163
00:07:15,002 --> 00:07:18,505
Here's your nametag,
Audrey.
164
00:07:18,506 --> 00:07:21,808
You know, I have
a young woman in the program
165
00:07:21,809 --> 00:07:23,477
who majored in journalism.
166
00:07:23,478 --> 00:07:25,612
Would you be up
for mentoring her?
167
00:07:25,613 --> 00:07:27,080
Well, sure.
168
00:07:27,081 --> 00:07:31,151
I hope she's smart.
I have a lot to offer.
169
00:07:31,152 --> 00:07:35,589
So you said that you're
still working at the magazine?
170
00:07:35,590 --> 00:07:37,324
What happened to,
171
00:07:37,325 --> 00:07:39,726
"there's no shame
in being a hostess"?
172
00:07:39,727 --> 00:07:41,962
There isn't.
It's just...
173
00:07:41,963 --> 00:07:44,331
In the time it would have taken
to explain--
174
00:07:44,332 --> 00:07:45,565
I quit.
I'm a hostess now.
175
00:07:45,566 --> 00:07:47,534
1.4 seconds.
176
00:07:47,535 --> 00:07:50,203
It's easy for you to just
sit there and take shots.
177
00:07:50,204 --> 00:07:52,806
That's why I'm doing it.
178
00:07:52,807 --> 00:07:55,008
All right,
so what's the plan, Lucy?
179
00:07:55,009 --> 00:07:57,410
Are you gonna get Ethel
to dress up as your boss?
180
00:07:57,411 --> 00:07:59,980
I'm having Julia meet me
181
00:07:59,981 --> 00:08:01,715
in the lobby
of my old building.
182
00:08:01,716 --> 00:08:04,284
- Why?
- It's what Stephanie wanted.
183
00:08:04,285 --> 00:08:06,353
I'll just make it look like
I just came down from my office,
184
00:08:06,354 --> 00:08:07,654
and I'll take her
straight to lunch.
185
00:08:07,655 --> 00:08:08,855
Take her to Amybeth's.
186
00:08:08,856 --> 00:08:12,459
Give her the full tour
of places you no longer work.
187
00:08:12,460 --> 00:08:14,160
Very funny.
188
00:08:14,161 --> 00:08:16,496
Don't worry, I have this
all figured out.
189
00:08:16,497 --> 00:08:18,198
I'm gonna teach her
everything I know,
190
00:08:18,199 --> 00:08:23,303
and she'll be
none the wiser.
191
00:08:27,608 --> 00:08:30,577
Well, well, well...
192
00:08:30,578 --> 00:08:35,682
This place is crawling
with wiener candy.
193
00:08:35,683 --> 00:08:38,752
Nothing off-putting
about that, sir.
194
00:08:38,753 --> 00:08:40,320
I'm not sure you've chosen
195
00:08:40,321 --> 00:08:41,688
the best venue
in which to discuss this,
196
00:08:41,689 --> 00:08:43,490
but I've outlined
a very basic budget.
197
00:08:43,491 --> 00:08:45,942
Ehh. Speaking of which,
198
00:08:45,943 --> 00:08:47,227
I bet this chick in the red
could budge-it
199
00:08:47,228 --> 00:08:49,162
without even touching it,
200
00:08:49,163 --> 00:08:51,331
if you know what I mean.
201
00:08:51,332 --> 00:08:53,500
I often long
for the simpler time
202
00:08:53,501 --> 00:08:57,137
when I didn't know
what you meant.
203
00:08:57,138 --> 00:09:00,206
Barkeep, can I get
a glass of champagne
204
00:09:00,207 --> 00:09:04,511
for every chick in the bar
under 110 pounds?
205
00:09:04,512 --> 00:09:06,279
Sir, do you really think
that's wise?
206
00:09:06,280 --> 00:09:07,581
Oh, you know what,
you're right.
207
00:09:07,582 --> 00:09:11,518
Let's make it 115.
Don't want to offend.
208
00:09:11,519 --> 00:09:13,320
- But back to your finances.
- Yes. Here we go.
209
00:09:13,321 --> 00:09:15,889
This is what you spend
in an average night
210
00:09:15,890 --> 00:09:17,424
buying women cocktails.
211
00:09:17,425 --> 00:09:19,426
You just said--
212
00:09:19,427 --> 00:09:20,927
cocktails. Yes.
I know that word can be
213
00:09:20,928 --> 00:09:24,197
broken down
with hilarious consequences.
214
00:09:24,198 --> 00:09:26,933
- Now, please, sir, focus on--
- excuse me.
215
00:09:26,934 --> 00:09:30,337
Hi. I just wanted to
thank you for the champagne.
216
00:09:30,338 --> 00:09:32,105
Oh, you're very welcome.
217
00:09:32,106 --> 00:09:33,273
I'm Cheyenne.
218
00:09:33,274 --> 00:09:35,008
Oh, shy-Anne.
219
00:09:35,009 --> 00:09:36,509
Well, I'm suave Russell.
220
00:09:36,510 --> 00:09:39,245
That's cute.
221
00:09:39,246 --> 00:09:40,747
No, I was born in Wyoming.
222
00:09:40,748 --> 00:09:42,349
Oh, so you're
a mountain girl.
223
00:09:42,350 --> 00:09:44,150
Oh, I am.
224
00:09:44,151 --> 00:09:47,053
Well, let's start
mountin', girl.
225
00:09:47,054 --> 00:09:49,789
Really?
226
00:09:49,790 --> 00:09:51,291
That's funny.
227
00:09:51,292 --> 00:09:53,026
Do you want to come join me
at my table?
228
00:09:53,027 --> 00:09:54,494
Really?
229
00:09:54,495 --> 00:09:56,796
I'd love to.
230
00:09:59,433 --> 00:10:03,903
Coming next fall
on the skankiest catch.
231
00:10:07,975 --> 00:10:11,444
I mean, they call it
Sports Illustrated for Kids,
232
00:10:11,445 --> 00:10:15,448
but this is every bit
as informative as the other one.
233
00:10:15,449 --> 00:10:17,150
That's great, honey.
234
00:10:17,151 --> 00:10:20,987
Apollo ono has a cat
named icy.
235
00:10:20,988 --> 00:10:23,857
I mean, that's just
good reporting.
236
00:10:31,399 --> 00:10:34,668
Hey, sweetie,
I was wondering,
237
00:10:34,669 --> 00:10:37,137
if you could change
one thing about me,
238
00:10:37,138 --> 00:10:38,405
what would it be?
239
00:10:38,406 --> 00:10:41,241
Nothing, honey.
You're perfect.
240
00:10:41,242 --> 00:10:43,343
No, no, come on.
Come on, honey.
241
00:10:43,344 --> 00:10:44,911
There's gotta be something.
242
00:10:44,912 --> 00:10:47,580
Hmm. All right, well,
if I had to pick one thing...
243
00:10:47,581 --> 00:10:50,016
- Yeah?
- You can be a tiny bit chatty.
244
00:10:50,017 --> 00:10:53,269
Okay. Okay.
No, that's--that's great.
245
00:10:53,270 --> 00:10:56,656
I will work on that.
246
00:10:56,657 --> 00:10:58,992
Well, might there
be something
247
00:10:58,993 --> 00:11:00,160
that you want to ask me?
248
00:11:00,161 --> 00:11:03,797
Yeah, why are you
so chatty?
249
00:11:03,798 --> 00:11:05,732
What?
250
00:11:05,733 --> 00:11:09,369
Well, it's like...
I wake up to you talking.
251
00:11:09,370 --> 00:11:12,305
All morning, then all day,
then at night.
252
00:11:12,306 --> 00:11:14,474
You know, watching tv,
having dinner.
253
00:11:14,475 --> 00:11:16,710
Even during sex.
254
00:11:16,711 --> 00:11:18,178
And it's not even about
the sex.
255
00:11:18,179 --> 00:11:22,599
It's just random babble--
talk, talk, talk, talk, talk.
256
00:11:22,600 --> 00:11:26,019
I mean, you have this need
to fill the air with noise.
257
00:11:26,020 --> 00:11:28,555
I have literally
gone outside sometimes
258
00:11:28,556 --> 00:11:29,723
for some peace and quiet,
259
00:11:29,724 --> 00:11:32,225
and we live in the busiest city
in the world!
260
00:11:34,895 --> 00:11:39,365
Wow, I guess I didn't realize
how much that bothered me.
261
00:11:39,366 --> 00:11:40,600
Yeah.
262
00:11:40,601 --> 00:11:43,336
Thanks for letting me
get it off my chest.
263
00:11:43,337 --> 00:11:46,005
Good night, honey.
264
00:11:52,113 --> 00:11:54,547
So ultimately,
what I learned was
265
00:11:54,548 --> 00:11:58,051
when you buy a used jet,
get a receipt!
266
00:11:58,052 --> 00:12:01,621
Oh, I have to use
the little girls room.
267
00:12:01,622 --> 00:12:03,089
Oh, well, wait a second.
268
00:12:03,090 --> 00:12:06,025
Here, give this
to the attendant.
269
00:12:06,026 --> 00:12:07,427
Oh, they don't have one here.
270
00:12:07,428 --> 00:12:10,997
Oh, well, just to be clear,
I'm rich.
271
00:12:10,998 --> 00:12:13,600
- Okay.
- All right.
272
00:12:13,601 --> 00:12:16,503
Ooo-wee!
273
00:12:16,504 --> 00:12:17,937
I finally get it now.
274
00:12:17,938 --> 00:12:20,807
It's all about your lack
of self-esteem, isn't it?
275
00:12:20,808 --> 00:12:22,909
- What is?
- Your compulsion
276
00:12:22,910 --> 00:12:25,478
to try to win women
with lies and extravagance.
277
00:12:25,479 --> 00:12:27,147
If you had something real
to offer,
278
00:12:27,148 --> 00:12:29,349
you wouldn't need to hide
behind the expensive food
279
00:12:29,350 --> 00:12:30,483
and fancy drinks.
280
00:12:30,484 --> 00:12:34,621
Oh, really?
281
00:12:34,622 --> 00:12:36,656
I'm not hiding
behind anything.
282
00:12:37,842 --> 00:12:40,693
Who asked for your
dumb opinion anyway?
283
00:12:40,694 --> 00:12:44,063
Timmy?
284
00:12:44,064 --> 00:12:46,132
Timmy?
285
00:12:59,361 --> 00:13:02,203
Ah, all right.
Here we go.
286
00:13:02,303 --> 00:13:06,072
Oh...It's very dark.
287
00:13:06,073 --> 00:13:07,707
Let me get the lights.
288
00:13:13,380 --> 00:13:14,948
Crap.
Hey, you know what,
289
00:13:14,949 --> 00:13:17,250
this is more romantic anyway.
Why don't you have a seat?
290
00:13:17,251 --> 00:13:19,886
Okay.
291
00:13:19,887 --> 00:13:22,555
Aah!
292
00:13:22,556 --> 00:13:23,957
Are you okay?
293
00:13:23,958 --> 00:13:26,559
Just took a corner
of a table in the nards.
294
00:13:26,560 --> 00:13:30,497
No biggie.
295
00:13:30,498 --> 00:13:33,199
I'm just slumming it here
until my entire floor
296
00:13:33,200 --> 00:13:35,702
at the Dakota is redone.
297
00:13:35,703 --> 00:13:37,303
I talked to Yoko.
298
00:13:37,304 --> 00:13:40,206
She said her and John did it--
took six months.
299
00:13:40,207 --> 00:13:43,309
But we're going on a year here.
I mean, what's up?
300
00:13:43,310 --> 00:13:46,012
Who are John and Yoko?
301
00:13:46,013 --> 00:13:49,749
Oh, I have no idea.
I'm too young.
302
00:13:49,750 --> 00:13:53,787
So why don't you just
go stay on your yacht?
303
00:13:53,788 --> 00:13:57,257
It's in the yacht shop.
304
00:13:57,258 --> 00:13:58,958
And they were gonna
give me a loaner,
305
00:13:58,959 --> 00:14:00,426
but it doesn't have GPS.
306
00:14:00,427 --> 00:14:03,229
I don't want to get lost and
wind up on Gilligan's Island.
307
00:14:03,230 --> 00:14:06,132
- What's that?
- Don't ask me.
308
00:14:06,133 --> 00:14:09,569
I'm too young.
309
00:14:09,570 --> 00:14:11,538
Mmm, yeah.
310
00:14:11,539 --> 00:14:13,206
There we go.
311
00:14:15,176 --> 00:14:17,577
Why doesn't this lamp work?
312
00:14:17,578 --> 00:14:20,830
Oh, no, you know what,
it must be a out.
313
00:14:20,831 --> 00:14:24,184
Quick, let's see
if the bed still works.
314
00:14:24,185 --> 00:14:25,819
All the other buildings
are lit up.
315
00:14:27,188 --> 00:14:28,988
What's going on, Russell?
316
00:14:28,989 --> 00:14:31,191
Do you not have
electricity?
317
00:14:33,327 --> 00:14:36,529
Got a confession to make.
318
00:14:36,530 --> 00:14:38,631
I am Amish.
319
00:14:42,770 --> 00:14:45,004
Art thou shocked?
320
00:14:46,774 --> 00:14:50,210
Art thou serious?
321
00:14:50,211 --> 00:14:51,678
How dumb do you think
I am?
322
00:14:51,679 --> 00:14:55,148
Not as dumb
as I was hoping.
323
00:14:57,418 --> 00:15:00,019
All right,
here's the thing.
324
00:15:00,020 --> 00:15:02,455
My trust fund was cut off.
325
00:15:02,456 --> 00:15:07,260
And I have not yet learned
how to fend for myself.
326
00:15:07,261 --> 00:15:10,296
But I'm sure you'll
stand by me while I learn
327
00:15:10,297 --> 00:15:14,434
because you and I, I feel,
have a real connection.
328
00:15:22,009 --> 00:15:23,877
Hey, Jeff.
I'm in the lobby.
329
00:15:23,878 --> 00:15:27,113
The girl's not here yet,
but so far, so good.
330
00:15:27,114 --> 00:15:28,781
Thanks. I need to know
where you are
331
00:15:28,782 --> 00:15:31,618
every second of every day.
332
00:15:31,619 --> 00:15:34,420
Where are you, anyway?
333
00:15:34,421 --> 00:15:36,823
Well, your other
old workplace.
334
00:15:36,824 --> 00:15:38,575
They put out a fine product.
335
00:15:38,576 --> 00:15:40,526
Oh, excuse me...
336
00:15:40,527 --> 00:15:44,364
Who do I talk to
about day-old muffins?
337
00:15:51,672 --> 00:15:53,206
Are you Julia?
338
00:15:53,207 --> 00:15:55,375
- Audrey.
- Hi.
339
00:15:55,376 --> 00:15:57,427
I just came down in the elevator
from a high-level meeting.
340
00:15:57,428 --> 00:15:58,811
Wow.
341
00:15:58,812 --> 00:16:00,980
- It's very nice to meet you.
- Oh, you too.
342
00:16:00,981 --> 00:16:02,682
I have a lot to offer.
343
00:16:02,683 --> 00:16:04,934
Great.
I want to learn everything.
344
00:16:04,935 --> 00:16:06,185
And learn, you shall.
345
00:16:06,186 --> 00:16:07,153
But I have a hankering
346
00:16:07,154 --> 00:16:08,354
for a cobb salad--
what do you say?
347
00:16:08,355 --> 00:16:11,324
Oh, yeah.
That sounds really great.
348
00:16:11,325 --> 00:16:13,559
But if it's not
too much trouble,
349
00:16:13,560 --> 00:16:15,895
I was really hoping I'd get
to see your office first.
350
00:16:15,896 --> 00:16:17,830
Oh, uh...Uh...
351
00:16:17,831 --> 00:16:19,732
It's being fumigated.
352
00:16:19,733 --> 00:16:21,400
Oh, uh--
353
00:16:21,401 --> 00:16:25,972
bugs. Bedbugs.
354
00:16:25,973 --> 00:16:28,708
Angry little ones.
355
00:16:31,929 --> 00:16:33,212
And what can I get you?
356
00:16:33,213 --> 00:16:35,715
Oh, I'm good. Day-old.
Half price.
357
00:16:37,685 --> 00:16:40,820
How's your sandwich?
358
00:16:43,390 --> 00:16:46,926
So I call you chatty,
and now you're not gonna talk?
359
00:16:50,097 --> 00:16:52,198
I wouldn't have said anything
if I knew--
360
00:16:52,199 --> 00:16:55,935
why--why are you trying
to fix this?
361
00:16:57,404 --> 00:17:00,123
Scooch.
362
00:17:02,176 --> 00:17:03,576
You were right, Timmy.
363
00:17:03,577 --> 00:17:06,412
Poor guys don't get
the hoo-hah.
364
00:17:06,413 --> 00:17:09,916
Not even close
to what I said, sir.
365
00:17:09,917 --> 00:17:11,851
I was simply telling you
not to pretend
366
00:17:11,852 --> 00:17:13,753
to be something
other than yourself.
367
00:17:13,754 --> 00:17:18,558
Yeah, like tall
or std-free.
368
00:17:18,559 --> 00:17:20,860
Sir, you needn't wallow.
It's not as if you're penniless.
369
00:17:20,861 --> 00:17:22,595
All you need to do
is be responsible
370
00:17:22,596 --> 00:17:23,596
and pay your bills.
371
00:17:23,597 --> 00:17:28,368
I would like my gas
turned back on.
372
00:17:28,369 --> 00:17:30,636
So I can stick my head
in the oven.
373
00:17:33,073 --> 00:17:35,742
Oh, my God...
374
00:17:35,743 --> 00:17:37,043
It's Gina .
Oh, crap!
375
00:17:37,044 --> 00:17:39,645
She publishes your magazine
and so many others.
376
00:17:39,646 --> 00:17:41,214
Do you think there's a chance
I could meet her?
377
00:17:41,215 --> 00:17:42,481
She's very busy,
378
00:17:42,482 --> 00:17:43,750
but I will tell her
you say hi.
379
00:17:43,751 --> 00:17:45,585
Now, about that cobb salad.
Miss ?
380
00:17:45,586 --> 00:17:48,121
What are you doing? Shut up!
381
00:17:48,122 --> 00:17:50,506
- Can I help you?
- Hi, Gina.
382
00:17:50,507 --> 00:17:52,875
This is Julia.
I'm mentoring her.
383
00:17:52,876 --> 00:17:55,061
And you are?
384
00:17:55,062 --> 00:17:57,363
Audrey Bingham.
385
00:17:57,364 --> 00:17:59,165
I was assistant editor
of Indoor Living.
386
00:17:59,166 --> 00:18:01,667
- Was?
- Is. Am.
387
00:18:01,668 --> 00:18:02,869
Did you just start?
388
00:18:02,870 --> 00:18:04,604
No, I've worked here
for years.
389
00:18:04,605 --> 00:18:07,874
Last fall I pitched the whole
Ottoman Empire spread.
390
00:18:07,875 --> 00:18:10,176
Did we use it?
391
00:18:10,177 --> 00:18:13,846
It was the freaking cover.
392
00:18:13,847 --> 00:18:16,866
I busted my ass
on that issue,
393
00:18:16,867 --> 00:18:18,534
and you don't even remember
if we used it?
394
00:18:18,535 --> 00:18:19,786
That's how little I meant?
395
00:18:19,787 --> 00:18:22,922
- I know who you are.
- Thank you.
396
00:18:22,923 --> 00:18:25,391
You're the one
who stole the chair.
397
00:18:26,860 --> 00:18:28,728
That was my chair.
398
00:18:28,729 --> 00:18:32,131
And you know something,
I am glad I quit.
399
00:18:32,132 --> 00:18:33,399
You don't work here?
400
00:18:33,400 --> 00:18:35,935
You're just putting that
together now, genius?
401
00:18:35,936 --> 00:18:38,888
Well, then,
why did you volunteer--
402
00:18:38,889 --> 00:18:41,407
Because I have a lot
to offer!
403
00:18:44,344 --> 00:18:45,945
Hey, it's me.
404
00:18:45,946 --> 00:18:48,481
I'll be home
in a few minutes.
405
00:18:48,482 --> 00:18:49,949
Because you're my husband,
406
00:18:49,950 --> 00:18:52,585
and I thought you might
be interested!
407
00:18:54,822 --> 00:18:57,924
Ahh...There you go.
408
00:19:02,362 --> 00:19:05,398
Sade and Merlot. Oh.
409
00:19:05,399 --> 00:19:07,266
Perhaps I should have been
a bit clearer, sir.
410
00:19:07,267 --> 00:19:09,502
This is merely
a work visit.
411
00:19:11,205 --> 00:19:12,705
Good one.
412
00:19:12,706 --> 00:19:16,509
Straight from
the Calcutta chuckle hut.
413
00:19:16,510 --> 00:19:17,910
So, uh, what do we do?
414
00:19:17,911 --> 00:19:19,579
Well, where are your bills?
415
00:19:19,580 --> 00:19:22,932
I keep 'em over here.
416
00:19:29,973 --> 00:19:31,924
I couldn't be
less surprised.
417
00:19:31,925 --> 00:19:36,329
All right, well,
why don't you reach in there
418
00:19:36,330 --> 00:19:38,397
and pick one.
419
00:19:43,003 --> 00:19:46,072
What's that one for?
420
00:19:46,073 --> 00:19:50,810
Well, this one is, uh...
421
00:19:50,811 --> 00:19:55,915
Huh. This isn't a bill
at all, sir.
422
00:19:55,916 --> 00:19:57,650
It's actually a dividend check
from stocks
423
00:19:57,651 --> 00:19:59,385
- that are still in your name.
- Wha-wha-what?
424
00:19:59,386 --> 00:20:00,586
Your mother must have
overlooked them.
425
00:20:00,587 --> 00:20:03,055
Really?
426
00:20:03,056 --> 00:20:04,924
Yes, and fortuitously so.
427
00:20:04,925 --> 00:20:06,625
You see, this influx
of funds,
428
00:20:06,626 --> 00:20:07,927
you'll be able to pay off
all of these bills
429
00:20:07,928 --> 00:20:10,196
and still have a little
left over for a rainy day.
430
00:20:10,197 --> 00:20:12,765
Or...
431
00:20:12,766 --> 00:20:15,234
Yeah!
432
00:20:15,235 --> 00:20:18,004
Whoo-hoo!
I'm rich again!
433
00:20:18,005 --> 00:20:19,772
I love it!
Sir, sir,
434
00:20:19,773 --> 00:20:23,910
- I implore you to--
- come on, Timmy!
435
00:20:23,911 --> 00:20:25,211
Have some fun!
436
00:20:31,805 --> 00:20:34,264
I mean, "chatty"?
I just like to talk.
437
00:20:34,392 --> 00:20:36,459
You know, things occur to me,
and I want to share them.
438
00:20:36,460 --> 00:20:38,228
What, am I supposed
to email her?
439
00:20:38,229 --> 00:20:39,596
I really don't think I talk
any more
440
00:20:39,597 --> 00:20:41,398
than the next guy,
you know?
441
00:20:41,399 --> 00:20:45,201
What kind of beer is this?
It's good. Mmm.
442
00:20:45,202 --> 00:20:47,937
My Uncle Roddy has
six toes.
443
00:20:47,938 --> 00:20:50,407
You stop cracking
your knuckles,
444
00:20:50,408 --> 00:20:53,309
and this one will shut up.
445
00:20:54,695 --> 00:20:58,081
== sync by elderman ==
== for www.addic7ed.com ==
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