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1
00:00:02,801 --> 00:00:04,369
Hey.
Hey.
2
00:00:04,370 --> 00:00:06,938
Oh, good, you're home.
Listen, I was talking to some...
3
00:00:06,939 --> 00:00:09,707
Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa.
I just walked in the door.
4
00:00:09,708 --> 00:00:13,145
If we're gonna talk, I gotta get
a can of listening juice.
5
00:00:21,153 --> 00:00:23,722
Hey.
Hi.
6
00:00:23,723 --> 00:00:25,940
Okay, so I was talking
to the girls at work...
7
00:00:25,941 --> 00:00:28,076
Oh, here we go.
What?
8
00:00:28,077 --> 00:00:29,911
No good ever comes from that.
It's never,
9
00:00:29,912 --> 00:00:31,779
"I was talking
to the girls at work,
10
00:00:31,780 --> 00:00:34,583
and they told me that I'm not
servicing you enough."
11
00:00:37,553 --> 00:00:39,704
All right, here's the thing.
12
00:00:39,705 --> 00:00:41,339
A while ago,
Jane and her husband
13
00:00:41,340 --> 00:00:43,041
decided that they
would go find...
14
00:00:43,042 --> 00:00:45,143
Is Jane that one
who looks like Pete Rose?
15
00:00:45,144 --> 00:00:47,345
No. That's Bethany.
16
00:00:47,346 --> 00:00:49,630
And she does not
look like Pete Rose.
17
00:00:49,631 --> 00:00:52,934
Well, let's just crack open the
old baseball encyclopedia here.
18
00:00:54,336 --> 00:00:56,304
All right, maybe a little.
19
00:00:56,305 --> 00:00:58,239
Here's the thing:
Jane and her husband
20
00:00:58,240 --> 00:01:00,641
went to couples therapy,
and found it helpful.
21
00:01:00,642 --> 00:01:02,376
She loved the therapist
they used.
22
00:01:02,377 --> 00:01:04,395
And I think it's something
we should do.
23
00:01:04,396 --> 00:01:06,647
Why? Our marriage practically
runs itself.
24
00:01:06,648 --> 00:01:08,550
And plus,
you're not chunky like Jane,
25
00:01:08,551 --> 00:01:10,418
so why do we need a therapist?
26
00:01:10,419 --> 00:01:12,954
Wow. Rough day
for the work friends.
27
00:01:14,890 --> 00:01:17,358
I just think
we're both so busy at work,
28
00:01:17,359 --> 00:01:19,644
we never have time to talk,
now we're going through
29
00:01:19,645 --> 00:01:21,045
this fertility stuff.
30
00:01:21,046 --> 00:01:22,497
You know how I feel
about therapy.
31
00:01:22,498 --> 00:01:25,032
Why deal with stuff when you can
push it down inside
32
00:01:25,033 --> 00:01:27,619
and go on with your life?
33
00:01:28,571 --> 00:01:30,221
Well, that's great.
34
00:01:30,222 --> 00:01:32,423
But as a backup plan,
it might be nice
35
00:01:32,424 --> 00:01:34,893
to have an hour every week
where we can connect
36
00:01:34,894 --> 00:01:36,627
and focus on our relationship.
37
00:01:36,628 --> 00:01:37,862
Here's the guy's card.
38
00:01:37,863 --> 00:01:39,547
I don't know.
39
00:01:39,548 --> 00:01:43,050
Do we really need to pay a guy
to tell you how lucky you are?
40
00:01:44,936 --> 00:01:47,138
Well, no one's doing it
for free.
41
00:01:48,307 --> 00:01:51,410
♪ How many ways
To say, "I love you?" ♪
42
00:01:54,196 --> 00:01:59,518
♪ How many ways
To say that I'm not scared? ♪
43
00:01:59,519 --> 00:02:02,003
♪ With you by my side ♪
44
00:02:02,004 --> 00:02:03,888
♪ There is no denyin' ♪
45
00:02:03,889 --> 00:02:06,975
♪ I can't wait
For me and you ♪
46
00:02:20,956 --> 00:02:22,090
Hi, hon.
47
00:02:23,692 --> 00:02:26,293
Whoa, nice gel-met.
48
00:02:27,897 --> 00:02:29,030
Thanks.
49
00:02:29,031 --> 00:02:30,482
No, I wasn't...
50
00:02:30,483 --> 00:02:33,134
Never mind. How much product
are you using?
51
00:02:33,135 --> 00:02:36,337
What Enrique said:
"Little dab, size of a peach."
52
00:02:38,073 --> 00:02:40,642
I'm pretty sure he said,
"Size of a pea."
53
00:02:40,643 --> 00:02:42,943
Oh, well, that's good,
54
00:02:42,944 --> 00:02:45,062
because I've been going through
a tube a day.
55
00:02:45,063 --> 00:02:47,899
You may want to shower before
the photographer's.
56
00:02:47,900 --> 00:02:49,583
Oh, honey,
do we have to do that?
57
00:02:49,584 --> 00:02:52,787
It's nice that my mom wants to
put our engagement in the paper.
58
00:02:52,788 --> 00:02:55,506
Why do we need a new picture?
Can't we send the one we have?
59
00:02:55,507 --> 00:02:57,475
I'd rather not.
Why?
60
00:02:57,476 --> 00:02:59,911
It's just that in all
the pictures that we have,
61
00:02:59,912 --> 00:03:02,163
you tend to look...
62
00:03:02,164 --> 00:03:03,464
You know...
63
00:03:03,465 --> 00:03:06,250
Super gay.
64
00:03:06,251 --> 00:03:07,902
What are you talking about?
65
00:03:07,903 --> 00:03:09,821
You know how some people
are photogenic?
66
00:03:09,822 --> 00:03:12,123
You're kind of homogenic.
67
00:03:12,124 --> 00:03:13,407
Homogenic?
68
00:03:13,408 --> 00:03:15,025
You tend to look gay
in pictures.
69
00:03:15,026 --> 00:03:16,527
What? I do not.
70
00:03:16,528 --> 00:03:19,597
Well, I mean, maybe in that one
from Scotty's bachelor party,
71
00:03:19,598 --> 00:03:22,700
but I was just pretending to do
that because he was passed out.
72
00:03:22,701 --> 00:03:24,401
I mean, that's what you do.
73
00:03:24,402 --> 00:03:27,238
Look, maybe it's the way
you smile or how you pose,
74
00:03:27,239 --> 00:03:29,874
but I'd rather not have
everyone in my hometown
75
00:03:29,875 --> 00:03:32,243
saying, "Look,
Jen's marrying George Michael."
76
00:03:32,244 --> 00:03:34,178
That's ridiculous.
77
00:03:34,179 --> 00:03:35,830
Is it?
Mm-hm.
78
00:03:35,831 --> 00:03:37,798
Look, here's me.
79
00:03:37,799 --> 00:03:39,601
Oh, and have you met
my friend Adam?
80
00:03:39,602 --> 00:03:43,121
He bakes the best mini-muffins
in all of Sausalito.
81
00:03:43,122 --> 00:03:44,689
And this one.
82
00:03:44,690 --> 00:03:46,157
And...
83
00:03:47,576 --> 00:03:48,876
Oh, my God!
84
00:03:48,877 --> 00:03:50,578
I told you, he was passed out.
85
00:03:50,579 --> 00:03:51,946
That's what you do.
86
00:03:56,985 --> 00:03:59,053
And in a way, it was amazing
87
00:03:59,054 --> 00:04:01,222
to have had such
a New York experience
88
00:04:01,223 --> 00:04:02,957
my first night here.
89
00:04:02,958 --> 00:04:04,024
Mm.
But we've canceled
90
00:04:04,025 --> 00:04:05,159
all her credit cards
91
00:04:05,160 --> 00:04:07,228
and recovered the purse
in a Dumpster,
92
00:04:07,229 --> 00:04:09,063
so all's well that ends well.
93
00:04:09,064 --> 00:04:10,748
Yeah, you gotta watch it
in this town.
94
00:04:10,749 --> 00:04:13,117
A lot of dirtbags.
95
00:04:13,118 --> 00:04:14,468
Hey, dirtbag.
What's going on?
96
00:04:16,138 --> 00:04:19,540
Ah, Mr. Rhodes, hello.
My fiancée, Suneetha, and I
97
00:04:19,541 --> 00:04:22,393
were telling Mr. Dunbar about
her first night in New York.
98
00:04:22,394 --> 00:04:24,261
Well, it's great
to finally meet you.
99
00:04:24,262 --> 00:04:26,397
Likewise.
Anyway, after the brisk chase
100
00:04:26,398 --> 00:04:27,598
through the park,
101
00:04:27,599 --> 00:04:28,633
We went back to my place,
102
00:04:28,634 --> 00:04:30,702
where Suneetha
teased me mercilessly
103
00:04:30,703 --> 00:04:32,871
about how small
my apartment is.
104
00:04:32,872 --> 00:04:36,157
And hot. By the way, my Uncle
Jawahar's restaurant called.
105
00:04:36,158 --> 00:04:38,226
They want their tandoor back.
106
00:04:38,227 --> 00:04:39,827
Ah.
107
00:04:39,828 --> 00:04:41,262
That's great.
108
00:04:41,263 --> 00:04:43,931
I don't really get it,
but I love it.
109
00:04:43,932 --> 00:04:47,251
If you could spare me I promised
to show her more of the city.
110
00:04:47,252 --> 00:04:49,304
Oh, you know what?
You go right ahead.
111
00:04:49,305 --> 00:04:51,071
You crazy kids have fun.
112
00:04:51,072 --> 00:04:54,074
I'm sure I can handle
my own phone today.
113
00:04:54,075 --> 00:04:55,660
It hasn't rung
since last Thursday,
114
00:04:55,661 --> 00:04:57,528
so I'm sure you'll be fine.
115
00:04:58,597 --> 00:05:00,598
In fact, yes,
it is still working.
116
00:05:01,617 --> 00:05:04,185
Shall we?
Goodbye, Mr. Dunbar and Rhodes.
117
00:05:04,186 --> 00:05:06,821
Yes, have a nice time.
118
00:05:10,359 --> 00:05:12,343
What are you doing?
I'm into her.
119
00:05:12,344 --> 00:05:13,894
Suneetha?
120
00:05:13,895 --> 00:05:15,896
Yeah.
I have feelings for her.
121
00:05:15,897 --> 00:05:18,616
What, in your little pants?
122
00:05:22,071 --> 00:05:23,187
No, higher.
123
00:05:23,188 --> 00:05:25,439
Oh, in your puppet vest.
124
00:05:25,440 --> 00:05:27,192
Stop it.
125
00:05:27,193 --> 00:05:29,360
From the moment I saw her
get off that plane,
126
00:05:29,361 --> 00:05:31,996
I can't get her out of my mind.
You can't do anything.
127
00:05:31,997 --> 00:05:34,065
She's engaged to Timmy.
Doi.
128
00:05:36,769 --> 00:05:38,786
You know I would never
cross that line.
129
00:05:38,787 --> 00:05:42,123
Actually, I don't think that's
a thing people know about you.
130
00:05:42,124 --> 00:05:44,425
So, what are you gonna do?
131
00:05:44,426 --> 00:05:46,694
What can I do?
I just have to sit here
132
00:05:46,695 --> 00:05:49,464
and wallow in my own misery
knowing the one woman I want,
133
00:05:49,465 --> 00:05:51,432
I can't have.
134
00:05:51,433 --> 00:05:53,585
Oh.
135
00:05:55,704 --> 00:05:58,305
Hey, do I look gay
in these pictures?
136
00:06:04,063 --> 00:06:05,413
"Couples therapist."
137
00:06:05,414 --> 00:06:07,331
Well, let's see
what you're all about,
138
00:06:07,332 --> 00:06:09,267
Dr. Amos Greenblatt.
139
00:06:10,919 --> 00:06:13,821
Amos. That's close
to being funny.
140
00:06:13,822 --> 00:06:16,341
Hi, I'd like to cover
141
00:06:16,342 --> 00:06:19,210
what I call my four pillars
of a successful marriage.
142
00:06:19,211 --> 00:06:23,264
Pillar One: sex, sex, sex.
143
00:06:23,265 --> 00:06:25,783
In any good marriage,
the more physical intimacy,
144
00:06:25,784 --> 00:06:29,403
the better.
Right on, Amos.
145
00:06:29,404 --> 00:06:31,989
Pillar Two:
Transition time.
146
00:06:31,990 --> 00:06:33,625
When you get home
from a long day,
147
00:06:33,626 --> 00:06:35,943
you need time to put
your feet up, have a drink.
148
00:06:35,944 --> 00:06:37,845
A spouse should
understand that.
149
00:06:37,846 --> 00:06:39,998
You'd think.
150
00:06:39,999 --> 00:06:42,816
Pillar Three:
From zero to hero.
151
00:06:42,817 --> 00:06:44,501
Don't forget
to tell your spouse
152
00:06:44,502 --> 00:06:46,871
how much you admire,
love, and respect them.
153
00:06:46,872 --> 00:06:49,790
It's no Pillar One.
154
00:06:49,791 --> 00:06:52,010
And Pillar Four:
Communication.
155
00:06:52,011 --> 00:06:54,828
Listening is a crucial part
of any relationship.
156
00:06:54,829 --> 00:06:56,981
Swing and a miss.
157
00:06:58,818 --> 00:07:03,504
But still, I am sold.
158
00:07:08,343 --> 00:07:09,810
You wanna see the therapist?
159
00:07:09,811 --> 00:07:12,513
What changed your mind?
I realized you were right.
160
00:07:12,514 --> 00:07:15,316
The guy's an expert, so
whatever he says, we should do,
161
00:07:15,317 --> 00:07:18,719
even if one of us
isn't in the mood.
162
00:07:20,356 --> 00:07:23,224
I already ordered. I figured
we'd split a turkey sandwich
163
00:07:23,225 --> 00:07:24,859
and a BLT.
Nice play.
164
00:07:24,860 --> 00:07:28,162
I know what you like.
We still have to go to therapy.
165
00:07:29,598 --> 00:07:31,733
Sorry, I don't think
it's just my opinion.
166
00:07:31,734 --> 00:07:33,901
Well, I've never heard it
from anyone else.
167
00:07:33,902 --> 00:07:35,536
Hey, let's ask Jeff.
All right.
168
00:07:35,537 --> 00:07:37,438
Describe Adam
in these pictures.
169
00:07:39,174 --> 00:07:40,274
Gay.
170
00:07:41,510 --> 00:07:43,928
Gayer.
171
00:07:43,929 --> 00:07:45,396
Gayest.
172
00:07:46,765 --> 00:07:48,900
Correction: gayest.
173
00:07:53,906 --> 00:07:55,323
Oh, what's wrong?
174
00:07:55,324 --> 00:07:58,592
Growth hormones
not kicking in yet?
175
00:07:58,593 --> 00:08:01,195
No, the doctor says
I'm making good progress.
176
00:08:03,231 --> 00:08:05,399
There's a woman I want
and I can't have her.
177
00:08:05,400 --> 00:08:07,802
Oh, well, just try
a different escort service.
178
00:08:07,803 --> 00:08:12,206
I'm sure she'll be 18 someday.
179
00:08:12,207 --> 00:08:14,491
You overinflated her
and she popped?
180
00:08:16,228 --> 00:08:17,228
Anything?
181
00:08:17,229 --> 00:08:19,430
Uh, heh...
182
00:08:19,431 --> 00:08:21,665
Nothing.
183
00:08:22,951 --> 00:08:25,869
Poor little heart.
184
00:08:25,870 --> 00:08:27,938
I actually believe him.
185
00:08:27,939 --> 00:08:30,207
You couples don't know
how lucky you have it.
186
00:08:30,208 --> 00:08:32,410
Look at you two,
sharing sandwiches.
187
00:08:32,411 --> 00:08:35,146
It's like you're sharing
your souls.
188
00:08:35,147 --> 00:08:37,799
Hey, this new Russell's
not working for me.
189
00:08:37,800 --> 00:08:40,935
You know what the worst part is?
Timmy asked me to look after her
190
00:08:40,936 --> 00:08:42,403
and take her around today.
191
00:08:42,404 --> 00:08:43,221
Getting to know her
192
00:08:43,222 --> 00:08:44,939
might solve your problem.
How?
193
00:08:44,940 --> 00:08:47,075
You never like a woman
once you know her.
194
00:08:47,076 --> 00:08:49,693
You're Russell, you don't have
feelings for women.
195
00:08:49,694 --> 00:08:51,395
Yeah, you just, like, use them.
196
00:08:51,396 --> 00:08:53,898
Yeah, you strip them
of their clothes, their dignity
197
00:08:53,899 --> 00:08:55,199
and their self-esteem.
198
00:08:55,200 --> 00:08:56,901
After five minutes
you'll be off her
199
00:08:56,902 --> 00:08:58,302
and back on the skank train.
200
00:08:58,303 --> 00:09:00,304
Yeah.
201
00:09:00,305 --> 00:09:02,273
Thanks, guys.
I hope you're right.
202
00:09:03,642 --> 00:09:05,743
All aboard the skank train.
203
00:09:05,744 --> 00:09:08,112
Whoo-whoo.
204
00:09:14,920 --> 00:09:17,873
So, Audrey, Jeff,
why don't we start
205
00:09:17,874 --> 00:09:20,241
with why you came in to see me.
206
00:09:20,242 --> 00:09:21,426
Well, doctor, I'd say...
207
00:09:21,427 --> 00:09:23,428
If I could just jump in here
for a second.
208
00:09:23,429 --> 00:09:25,581
I think that it would be better
if you talk.
209
00:09:25,582 --> 00:09:27,749
Maybe you could tell us
how we could achieve
210
00:09:27,750 --> 00:09:29,451
a more successful marriage.
211
00:09:29,452 --> 00:09:31,770
That's difficult because I don't
know you yet.
212
00:09:31,771 --> 00:09:33,405
Hey, there, Jeff Bingham.
213
00:09:35,308 --> 00:09:38,177
Looking for a more
successful marriage.
214
00:09:38,178 --> 00:09:39,645
What are you doing?
215
00:09:39,646 --> 00:09:41,647
Trying to get the doctor to,
you know,
216
00:09:41,648 --> 00:09:43,014
just boil it down for us.
217
00:09:43,015 --> 00:09:45,400
Uh, well, Jeff,
I don't give my opinion
218
00:09:45,401 --> 00:09:47,268
until I've spent
a couple of sessions
219
00:09:47,269 --> 00:09:49,003
finding out some
of your issues.
220
00:09:49,004 --> 00:09:51,873
Well, let's fast-forward now.
This is our third session,
221
00:09:51,874 --> 00:09:55,361
and you know our issues.
222
00:09:55,362 --> 00:09:57,462
Go.
223
00:09:57,463 --> 00:10:01,367
Jeff, this isn't the lightning
round of a game show.
224
00:10:01,368 --> 00:10:02,884
Uh... Uh, I'm sorry.
225
00:10:02,885 --> 00:10:05,554
My husband's not
a big fan of therapy.
226
00:10:05,555 --> 00:10:08,323
Or acting like
a regular person.
227
00:10:08,324 --> 00:10:12,293
Ooh, hear the sarcasm.
It's clear, isn't it,
228
00:10:12,294 --> 00:10:14,930
that our marriage is on
a shaky foundation.
229
00:10:14,931 --> 00:10:17,249
We're not on a shaky foundation.
See that, doc?
230
00:10:17,250 --> 00:10:20,185
See, I'll say one thing and then
she'll say the opposite.
231
00:10:20,186 --> 00:10:22,254
How can we salvage this,
232
00:10:22,255 --> 00:10:25,640
starting tonight?
233
00:10:26,860 --> 00:10:29,161
Oh, hey, Tim. You busy?
Quite so, Mr. Rhodes.
234
00:10:29,162 --> 00:10:31,163
Oh, this will be quick.
235
00:10:31,164 --> 00:10:33,749
I need you to take
a picture of me.
236
00:10:33,750 --> 00:10:35,383
Well, so long
as it's work-related
237
00:10:35,384 --> 00:10:38,520
and personally enriching.
238
00:10:38,521 --> 00:10:40,272
Uh, wait.
239
00:10:50,183 --> 00:10:52,184
Oh, here we go.
240
00:10:55,472 --> 00:10:58,106
I'm not quite sure
what's happening here, sir.
241
00:10:58,107 --> 00:11:00,492
I'm just... I'm trying
to find a good pose.
242
00:11:00,493 --> 00:11:01,960
It's not going well, sir.
243
00:11:02,979 --> 00:11:05,213
Look, I'm not sure what to do.
244
00:11:05,214 --> 00:11:07,783
Jen thinks I look gay
in pictures.
245
00:11:07,784 --> 00:11:10,385
You don't in person,
Mr. Rhodes, so I can't imagine...
246
00:11:10,386 --> 00:11:12,387
Oh, yes.
Now I can imagine it.
247
00:11:12,388 --> 00:11:15,107
Um, maybe just lean
on the desk.
248
00:11:15,108 --> 00:11:16,641
Okay.
Try to seem natural.
249
00:11:16,642 --> 00:11:17,776
Okay.
250
00:11:18,811 --> 00:11:20,345
Okay.
251
00:11:20,346 --> 00:11:23,115
Now, I'm seeing nothing
that's not entirely hetero.
252
00:11:23,116 --> 00:11:24,432
So hold it. And...
253
00:11:24,433 --> 00:11:26,284
How the hell does that happen?
254
00:11:27,954 --> 00:11:30,188
I know. It's weird, right?
255
00:11:30,189 --> 00:11:32,991
Yes. It's like
straight, straight,
256
00:11:32,992 --> 00:11:34,693
straight, straight, straight...
257
00:11:34,694 --> 00:11:37,045
Hello, Judy.
258
00:11:42,701 --> 00:11:44,837
So India.
259
00:11:44,838 --> 00:11:46,371
What's that like?
260
00:11:46,372 --> 00:11:49,340
Well, it's hot, chaotic,
261
00:11:49,341 --> 00:11:51,743
overcrowded, squalid.
262
00:11:51,744 --> 00:11:53,745
But at least you have
great Indian food.
263
00:11:53,746 --> 00:11:56,214
Yes, but we just call it food.
264
00:11:57,533 --> 00:12:00,469
That's great.
Good sense of humor too.
265
00:12:00,470 --> 00:12:02,771
That doesn't help me.
266
00:12:02,772 --> 00:12:06,508
So tell me, Russell,
why have you never married?
267
00:12:06,509 --> 00:12:08,276
What?
268
00:12:08,277 --> 00:12:10,745
Well, Timmy tells me
you enjoy the company of women,
269
00:12:10,746 --> 00:12:12,480
but only on a short-term basis.
270
00:12:12,481 --> 00:12:14,249
Do you think
I'm a total sleaze?
271
00:12:14,250 --> 00:12:16,184
Absolutely not.
272
00:12:16,185 --> 00:12:17,685
I would never judge you.
273
00:12:17,686 --> 00:12:20,355
Ah, of course you wouldn't.
274
00:12:20,356 --> 00:12:22,757
I guess I'm just never meant
275
00:12:22,758 --> 00:12:24,059
to settle down.
276
00:12:24,060 --> 00:12:26,594
Well, as it's been said,
277
00:12:26,595 --> 00:12:28,797
love, like a river,
278
00:12:28,798 --> 00:12:30,632
will cut a new path
279
00:12:30,633 --> 00:12:33,719
whenever it meets an obstacle.
280
00:12:35,989 --> 00:12:40,141
There are so many choices.
281
00:12:40,142 --> 00:12:42,377
Hey, would you like to split
two sandwiches
282
00:12:42,378 --> 00:12:43,544
and each have half?
283
00:12:43,545 --> 00:12:45,564
Oh, forever and ever I would.
284
00:12:47,216 --> 00:12:49,201
Or soup.
Everything's good here.
285
00:12:52,021 --> 00:12:54,572
Mr. Rhodes,
I really must go.
286
00:12:54,573 --> 00:12:56,308
Timmy...
Timmy, please, please.
287
00:12:56,309 --> 00:12:59,144
I need to be able to take
a straight picture. Please.
288
00:12:59,145 --> 00:13:00,546
Maybe you just look too happy.
289
00:13:00,547 --> 00:13:02,581
Why not try thinking
a sad thought like,
290
00:13:02,582 --> 00:13:04,983
oh, your boyfriend just
broke up with you?
291
00:13:04,984 --> 00:13:06,784
Yeah, ha-ha, very funny.
292
00:13:06,785 --> 00:13:10,322
And if I had a boyfriend,
I'd break up with him.
293
00:13:10,323 --> 00:13:13,558
I feel we're heading
in the wrong direction, sir.
294
00:13:13,559 --> 00:13:16,044
Come on, look, Timmy,
this is gonna be in a newspaper
295
00:13:16,045 --> 00:13:17,846
that a lot of people
are gonna see,
296
00:13:17,847 --> 00:13:20,515
so...
All right, one last try.
297
00:13:20,516 --> 00:13:21,316
Okay. Thank you.
298
00:13:21,317 --> 00:13:23,318
Just stand there.
299
00:13:23,319 --> 00:13:25,954
Um, those arms go here.
300
00:13:27,423 --> 00:13:28,457
Hold.
301
00:13:30,676 --> 00:13:32,911
Much better.
There you go, sir.
302
00:13:32,912 --> 00:13:34,312
Good night.
303
00:13:34,313 --> 00:13:36,315
And it's like, you know,
on the one hand,
304
00:13:36,316 --> 00:13:39,001
this isn't how I envisioned
having a baby,
305
00:13:39,002 --> 00:13:41,435
but on the other hand,
306
00:13:41,436 --> 00:13:43,371
it's great that medical
technology...
307
00:13:44,657 --> 00:13:47,025
Hey, Tappy.
308
00:13:47,026 --> 00:13:49,978
Do you mind?
Sorry.
309
00:13:49,979 --> 00:13:52,013
Doc, you were saying?
310
00:13:52,014 --> 00:13:53,414
He wasn't saying.
311
00:13:53,415 --> 00:13:55,616
I was saying...
But I can hear you anytime,
312
00:13:55,617 --> 00:13:59,554
so let's...
Let's listen to the expert.
313
00:13:59,555 --> 00:14:02,140
Jeff, I've noticed you're very
dismissive of Audrey.
314
00:14:02,141 --> 00:14:03,275
Why do you think that is?
315
00:14:03,276 --> 00:14:05,243
Hey, buddy,
I just called you an expert.
316
00:14:05,244 --> 00:14:06,561
Hook me up.
317
00:14:06,562 --> 00:14:08,113
To what?
318
00:14:08,114 --> 00:14:09,881
What is it
you're looking for, Jeff?
319
00:14:09,882 --> 00:14:11,449
Pillars!
320
00:14:13,602 --> 00:14:15,770
Did... Did you say something?
No.
321
00:14:15,771 --> 00:14:18,239
More sex.
322
00:14:18,240 --> 00:14:20,559
Hold on, are you referring
to my four pillars
323
00:14:20,560 --> 00:14:23,595
of a successful marriage?
Oh, there you go!
324
00:14:23,596 --> 00:14:25,229
Jeff, what...
What is happening?
325
00:14:25,230 --> 00:14:27,866
Tell me what is happening,
right now.
326
00:14:27,867 --> 00:14:29,100
Fine, I'll tell you.
327
00:14:29,101 --> 00:14:31,536
I saw this clown on the Internet
banging his gums
328
00:14:31,537 --> 00:14:34,172
about how couples should be
having sex all the time.
329
00:14:34,173 --> 00:14:37,542
But we've been here
for 40 minutes, and nothing.
330
00:14:37,543 --> 00:14:40,328
So that's the only reason
you wanted to come here?
331
00:14:40,329 --> 00:14:42,096
No.
You thought he would tell me
332
00:14:42,097 --> 00:14:43,598
to give you more sex?
No,
333
00:14:43,599 --> 00:14:47,469
there's also something about you
leaving me alone after work.
334
00:14:47,470 --> 00:14:49,237
Oh, well,
you don't have to worry
335
00:14:49,238 --> 00:14:50,905
about me leaving you alone.
336
00:14:50,906 --> 00:14:53,675
I-I-I'm sorry
to have wasted your time.
337
00:14:58,313 --> 00:15:00,448
Not cool, Amos.
338
00:15:08,641 --> 00:15:11,410
Are you still mad
about the therapy thing?
339
00:15:11,411 --> 00:15:12,644
Still mad?
340
00:15:12,645 --> 00:15:15,146
It happened 10 minutes ago!
341
00:15:16,516 --> 00:15:18,300
I know I say this a lot,
342
00:15:18,301 --> 00:15:20,735
but I have never been
so humiliated.
343
00:15:20,736 --> 00:15:22,737
Come on, what about that time
I got drunk
344
00:15:22,738 --> 00:15:24,423
and I mooned your boss?
345
00:15:25,808 --> 00:15:27,542
Really?
That's your strategy?
346
00:15:27,543 --> 00:15:29,894
Trying to remind me
how low the bar is?
347
00:15:29,895 --> 00:15:32,197
I didn't want to go to therapy
in the first place.
348
00:15:32,198 --> 00:15:33,865
We don't have any problems.
349
00:15:33,866 --> 00:15:36,183
Yeah, well,
maybe you don't, but I do.
350
00:15:36,184 --> 00:15:38,587
Like what?
Like this whole
351
00:15:38,588 --> 00:15:41,323
fertility process, that's what.
352
00:15:41,324 --> 00:15:44,159
I mean, how do you think I feel
getting poked and prodded
353
00:15:44,160 --> 00:15:46,027
like I'm some kind
of lab animal?
354
00:15:46,028 --> 00:15:48,880
Having all those shots,
having my hormones monitored
355
00:15:48,881 --> 00:15:50,114
all the time?
356
00:15:50,115 --> 00:15:52,033
I think they're pretty high
right now.
357
00:15:52,034 --> 00:15:54,202
Just forget it.
358
00:15:56,355 --> 00:15:57,789
I'm sorry you feel this way,
359
00:15:57,790 --> 00:15:59,858
but it's not that great for me
either.
360
00:15:59,859 --> 00:16:02,327
Oh, please, you barely have
to do anything.
361
00:16:02,328 --> 00:16:03,461
Yes, exactly.
362
00:16:03,462 --> 00:16:04,830
Exactly what?
363
00:16:04,831 --> 00:16:06,431
My only job is to lock myself
364
00:16:06,432 --> 00:16:08,032
in the doctor's bathroom
365
00:16:08,033 --> 00:16:10,769
and rough up the suspect.
366
00:16:10,770 --> 00:16:12,553
Big deal.
367
00:16:12,554 --> 00:16:14,689
For you, it's just
a change of venue.
368
00:16:14,690 --> 00:16:16,508
I'm not saying
that it's as tough for me
369
00:16:16,509 --> 00:16:18,460
as it is for you,
but that's not exactly
370
00:16:18,461 --> 00:16:20,261
how I pictured making a baby.
371
00:16:20,262 --> 00:16:22,681
You pictured it?
372
00:16:22,682 --> 00:16:24,766
A lot. You know what wasn't
in the picture?
373
00:16:24,767 --> 00:16:26,284
Uh, me alone, uh, with a cup
374
00:16:26,285 --> 00:16:29,370
and a stack of seriously old
magazines.
375
00:16:29,371 --> 00:16:32,524
They got one with
Brigitte Nielsen on the cover.
376
00:16:32,525 --> 00:16:34,459
But, uh, you know,
I powered through,
377
00:16:34,460 --> 00:16:38,263
because, well, that's what
the great ones do.
378
00:16:40,916 --> 00:16:43,885
So why didn't you ever
say anything?
379
00:16:43,886 --> 00:16:45,871
What am I gonna say?
"Hey, nurse, how about
380
00:16:45,872 --> 00:16:48,740
a little more Megan Fox,
a little less Charlene Tilton?"
381
00:16:48,741 --> 00:16:51,209
No, I mean about how you feel.
382
00:16:51,210 --> 00:16:53,511
I don't want you
to feel excluded.
383
00:16:53,512 --> 00:16:55,530
I don't want you to feel
like a lab animal.
384
00:16:55,531 --> 00:16:57,899
This is my fault, because
my swimmers are slow.
385
00:16:57,900 --> 00:17:00,635
No, no.
I'm not blaming you.
386
00:17:00,636 --> 00:17:03,004
I just want us to be able to...
387
00:17:03,005 --> 00:17:05,256
Do this:
To communicate.
388
00:17:05,257 --> 00:17:08,460
Ironic.
That was the fourth pillar.
389
00:17:08,461 --> 00:17:11,596
Who knew that one
could ever matter?
390
00:17:11,597 --> 00:17:13,614
All right, look.
391
00:17:13,615 --> 00:17:15,483
How about, in the future,
392
00:17:15,484 --> 00:17:18,720
we huddle up and make sure that
we're on the same page, okay?
393
00:17:18,721 --> 00:17:20,255
I'd like that.
394
00:17:20,256 --> 00:17:22,824
Hey, you want to hear
Dr. Bingham's one pillar
395
00:17:22,825 --> 00:17:25,160
for a lust-filled 20 minutes?
396
00:17:32,818 --> 00:17:34,168
Hey, what's up?
397
00:17:34,169 --> 00:17:35,704
I just got a text from Russell.
398
00:17:35,705 --> 00:17:38,673
The whole "losing interest
in Suneetha" thing backfired.
399
00:17:38,674 --> 00:17:40,108
He's more into her than ever.
400
00:17:40,109 --> 00:17:41,743
Really?
Yeah, look.
401
00:17:41,744 --> 00:17:43,995
Seven sad faces.
402
00:17:43,996 --> 00:17:46,063
He is such a downer lately.
403
00:17:46,064 --> 00:17:48,116
I know. Can this wait
20 minutes?
404
00:17:48,117 --> 00:17:50,101
You know, I can't believe
I'm saying this,
405
00:17:50,102 --> 00:17:52,269
but I wish we could get
the old Russell back.
406
00:17:52,270 --> 00:17:54,305
Well, I'm sure
we can figure some...
407
00:17:54,306 --> 00:17:56,240
Twenty minutes!
408
00:17:56,241 --> 00:17:58,343
Do you really think
that only certain people
409
00:17:58,344 --> 00:18:00,578
can hear what you're saying
when you do that?
410
00:18:00,579 --> 00:18:02,179
Yes!
411
00:18:09,622 --> 00:18:12,256
I'm not at all happy
about this.
412
00:18:19,982 --> 00:18:22,617
It's not about you.
It's for Russell.
413
00:18:22,618 --> 00:18:23,585
Now here he comes.
414
00:18:26,188 --> 00:18:27,422
Hey, you guys.
415
00:18:27,423 --> 00:18:28,590
Look.
416
00:18:28,591 --> 00:18:30,191
It's your favorite shirt.
417
00:18:30,192 --> 00:18:31,726
What do you got?
I'm a zebra?
418
00:18:31,727 --> 00:18:33,595
Maybe the Hamburglar?
419
00:18:33,596 --> 00:18:36,097
"Robbie, robble, robble."
420
00:18:36,098 --> 00:18:37,798
Don't beat yourself up, Jen.
421
00:18:37,799 --> 00:18:39,434
There's enough pain
in the world.
422
00:18:40,736 --> 00:18:42,103
Hey, hey, over here.
423
00:18:42,104 --> 00:18:44,806
Couple of douches,
that's right.
424
00:18:46,141 --> 00:18:48,092
Yeah, we're matching.
As you should be.
425
00:18:48,093 --> 00:18:52,196
It's a fitting manifestation
of your shared love.
426
00:18:52,197 --> 00:18:54,699
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
Check out these bad boys,
427
00:18:54,700 --> 00:18:57,252
your two favorite targets, huh?
428
00:18:57,253 --> 00:18:59,170
Looks like a heart
turned upside down,
429
00:18:59,171 --> 00:19:01,906
much like my own.
430
00:19:01,907 --> 00:19:03,775
I'm gonna hit the restroom.
431
00:19:03,776 --> 00:19:05,944
Do you think heartache
washes off?
432
00:19:08,763 --> 00:19:11,365
Wow, he is far gone.
433
00:19:11,366 --> 00:19:12,600
Yeah, I know.
434
00:19:12,601 --> 00:19:15,570
Why don't you put those away.
435
00:19:15,571 --> 00:19:17,922
Hey, guys, what's up?
436
00:19:17,923 --> 00:19:19,190
Hey.
437
00:19:19,191 --> 00:19:21,325
You can take off the hat.
He's not biting.
438
00:19:21,326 --> 00:19:24,128
Who's not biting?
What are you talking about?
439
00:19:25,731 --> 00:19:28,816
Wait, you wore that hat
voluntarily?
440
00:19:30,303 --> 00:19:32,370
What's wrong with it? I...
441
00:19:32,371 --> 00:19:34,839
Nothing.
442
00:19:34,840 --> 00:19:37,041
Hand me my nine iron,
Bagger Vance.
443
00:19:39,828 --> 00:19:43,731
You look like a newsboy
from the Depression.
444
00:19:43,732 --> 00:19:46,785
"Extry! Extry!"
You're a tool.
445
00:19:49,805 --> 00:19:52,724
You know what? We might do
all right without Russell.
446
00:20:01,384 --> 00:20:04,185
Adam, look what my mom sent us.
447
00:20:04,186 --> 00:20:07,605
The future
Mr. and Mrs. Adam Rhodes.
448
00:20:07,606 --> 00:20:09,657
All right.
Hey, we look good.
449
00:20:09,658 --> 00:20:11,458
Mm-hm.
But more importantly,
450
00:20:11,459 --> 00:20:14,395
I look straight.
451
00:20:14,396 --> 00:20:15,930
Yeah, how'd you pull that off?
452
00:20:15,931 --> 00:20:17,531
I had Jen punch me
in the stomach
453
00:20:17,532 --> 00:20:19,133
before the guy snapped it.
454
00:20:19,134 --> 00:20:22,036
The second punch
he really wasn't expecting.
455
00:20:22,037 --> 00:20:24,972
Oh, God, Adam.
456
00:20:24,973 --> 00:20:27,041
Look at the caption.
457
00:20:28,410 --> 00:20:30,511
"Jennifer Morgan to wed...
458
00:20:30,512 --> 00:20:33,181
Madam Rhodes"?
459
00:20:34,266 --> 00:20:35,533
No!
460
00:20:35,534 --> 00:20:38,352
No. They... They totally ruined
my hetero picture.
461
00:20:38,353 --> 00:20:39,987
At least it's a small town.
462
00:20:39,988 --> 00:20:41,622
Not that many people
will see it.
463
00:20:41,623 --> 00:20:44,659
Oh, no, they've got
an online edition.
464
00:20:46,144 --> 00:20:48,580
Well, I got a busy night
ahead of me, so...
33449
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