Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:07,367 --> 00:00:10,467
Honey, can you grab that?
I'm in the bathroom.
2
00:00:11,501 --> 00:00:12,868
Coming.
3
00:00:16,033 --> 00:00:17,767
Seriously?
4
00:00:17,767 --> 00:00:21,200
I'm sorry. It's the women's
beach volleyball finals.
5
00:00:21,200 --> 00:00:23,667
You should watch
those girls closely.
6
00:00:23,667 --> 00:00:25,467
You're gonna need
to remember them later.
7
00:00:28,968 --> 00:00:30,133
Hey.
Hey.
8
00:00:30,133 --> 00:00:31,834
Can I keep this cake
in your fridge?
9
00:00:31,834 --> 00:00:33,234
Sure.
10
00:00:33,234 --> 00:00:34,634
Cake?
11
00:00:34,634 --> 00:00:35,734
Interesting.
12
00:00:35,734 --> 00:00:38,300
Cake trumps bouncy boobs.
13
00:00:38,300 --> 00:00:40,767
It's not for you,
it's for my party.
14
00:00:40,767 --> 00:00:43,534
Oh, right, your little
"girls only" sex party.
15
00:00:43,534 --> 00:00:45,968
No, it's an adult toy party,
I'm hosting it for my friend.
16
00:00:45,968 --> 00:00:48,133
It's like a Tupperware party,
but with sex toys.
17
00:00:48,133 --> 00:00:51,000
I'm not sure those are going
to keep your leftovers fresh.
18
00:00:52,033 --> 00:00:53,400
Let me give you a hand
with that.
19
00:00:53,400 --> 00:00:54,934
No, I will take it.
20
00:00:54,934 --> 00:00:56,133
And no stealing a bite
21
00:00:56,133 --> 00:00:58,534
and blaming it
on fridge mice again.
22
00:00:58,534 --> 00:01:02,000
I really don't think Jeff's
going to want to eat that cake.
23
00:01:02,000 --> 00:01:05,501
Please. I have yet to meet
the cake I didn't want to eat.
24
00:01:05,501 --> 00:01:07,767
It's a weird shape.
25
00:01:09,334 --> 00:01:12,167
Oh, come on!
26
00:01:12,167 --> 00:01:14,200
Are you sure
you don't want a bite?
27
00:01:14,200 --> 00:01:16,601
I don't want that thing
anywhere near my mouth.
28
00:01:16,601 --> 00:01:19,567
That's an ironic
turn of events.
29
00:01:19,567 --> 00:01:21,667
I got it from this erotic
dessert place downtown,
30
00:01:21,667 --> 00:01:22,868
Masturbakers.
31
00:01:24,968 --> 00:01:26,534
I'll go put it in the fridge.
32
00:01:26,534 --> 00:01:30,934
Um, just to warn you,
you might get some shrinkage.
33
00:01:30,934 --> 00:01:33,934
You can't always
blame it on the cold.
34
00:01:34,968 --> 00:01:36,267
All right.
And I am gonna go try
35
00:01:36,267 --> 00:01:37,767
and drink that image
out of my head.
36
00:01:41,801 --> 00:01:44,534
Hey, so you're going
to the big perv party, huh?
37
00:01:46,067 --> 00:01:47,868
Yeah, just me, Jen,
38
00:01:47,868 --> 00:01:51,767
and a bunch of women I'm going
to learn way too much about.
39
00:01:51,767 --> 00:01:56,501
I don't judge any of those
ladies for buying that stuff.
40
00:01:56,501 --> 00:02:01,100
Not everybody has access
to their very own sex machine.
41
00:02:04,834 --> 00:02:08,734
If only I could turn off
the talking option.
42
00:02:10,634 --> 00:02:12,501
Is that a new phone?
Yeah.
43
00:02:12,501 --> 00:02:14,267
What was wrong
with the old one?
44
00:02:14,267 --> 00:02:15,701
I've had it like three years.
45
00:02:15,701 --> 00:02:18,667
In phone years, that's
two cans and a string.
46
00:02:18,667 --> 00:02:20,234
Oh. It's Jen.
47
00:02:20,234 --> 00:02:22,567
She wants me to bring over
wine glasses.
48
00:02:22,567 --> 00:02:25,501
You texting now?
What are you, in high school?
49
00:02:25,501 --> 00:02:27,167
What's the matter?
Everybody texts...
50
00:02:27,167 --> 00:02:28,601
Shh.
51
00:02:28,601 --> 00:02:30,701
I'm imagining you
in high school.
52
00:02:30,701 --> 00:02:31,868
Ew.
53
00:02:31,868 --> 00:02:34,167
Yeah. Yeah, you just...
You hurry along now.
54
00:02:34,167 --> 00:02:36,267
Don't want to be late
for cheerleading practice.
55
00:02:36,267 --> 00:02:37,667
Shut up.
56
00:02:39,467 --> 00:02:41,734
♪ How many ways
To say, "I love you?" ♪
57
00:02:43,467 --> 00:02:47,634
♪ How many ways
To say that I'm not scared? ♪
58
00:02:47,634 --> 00:02:50,367
♪ With you by my side ♪
59
00:02:50,367 --> 00:02:52,968
♪ There is no denyin' ♪
60
00:02:52,968 --> 00:02:56,300
♪ I can't wait
For me and you ♪
61
00:03:06,200 --> 00:03:08,834
Can I get a tall latte?
62
00:03:10,167 --> 00:03:12,968
Single guys
are way too much trouble.
63
00:03:12,968 --> 00:03:14,367
That's why I like married guys.
64
00:03:14,367 --> 00:03:16,133
They're easy,
and they won't tell anyone
65
00:03:16,133 --> 00:03:17,801
because they don't want
to get caught.
66
00:03:17,801 --> 00:03:20,534
I'm telling you, it's only
married guys for me.
67
00:03:23,601 --> 00:03:25,200
Hey, honey...
68
00:03:25,200 --> 00:03:26,868
Yeah.
69
00:03:27,467 --> 00:03:30,067
Um, yeah. Yeah.
70
00:03:30,067 --> 00:03:31,834
I love being married
to you too.
71
00:03:33,000 --> 00:03:34,534
Uh-huh. Okay.
72
00:03:34,534 --> 00:03:36,634
All right. Bye.
73
00:03:36,634 --> 00:03:38,067
Ah, the wife.
74
00:03:38,067 --> 00:03:39,234
You're married?
75
00:03:40,234 --> 00:03:41,501
That obvious, huh?
76
00:03:41,501 --> 00:03:43,701
Well, you just said you were
talking to your wife.
77
00:03:43,701 --> 00:03:45,267
Oh, yeah.
That I was.
78
00:03:46,400 --> 00:03:48,434
I wouldn't have pegged you
as married.
79
00:03:48,434 --> 00:03:50,200
You just don't give off
that vibe.
80
00:03:50,200 --> 00:03:51,968
Oh, that's funny.
81
00:03:51,968 --> 00:03:54,868
Oh, I can't wait to get home
and tell that to the missus.
82
00:03:54,868 --> 00:03:57,567
Yeah, the old
ball and chain, you know.
83
00:03:57,567 --> 00:03:59,534
My better half.
Ha, ha.
84
00:03:59,534 --> 00:04:02,400
She's probably home making
casseroles and...
85
00:04:04,300 --> 00:04:06,334
Can I get an ETA on that latte?
86
00:04:07,534 --> 00:04:09,634
Yeah, so, yeah.
87
00:04:17,567 --> 00:04:18,868
Hey, Aud.
88
00:04:18,868 --> 00:04:21,133
Hello?
89
00:04:38,868 --> 00:04:41,234
God! Audrey?
90
00:04:51,934 --> 00:04:53,100
What?
I'm just returning
91
00:04:53,100 --> 00:04:55,067
your cake plate
and some leftover cake.
92
00:04:57,067 --> 00:05:00,601
Even in cake form
women ignore those.
93
00:05:02,067 --> 00:05:03,534
So did Audrey have a good time?
94
00:05:03,534 --> 00:05:05,901
Maybe. Why?
What did Jen say?
95
00:05:05,901 --> 00:05:07,667
Oh, nothing, she passed out.
96
00:05:07,667 --> 00:05:10,167
Too many penis coladas.
You know.
97
00:05:11,467 --> 00:05:13,601
So, uh, did Jen
purchased anything?
98
00:05:13,601 --> 00:05:15,400
No! No,
she doesn't need to.
99
00:05:15,400 --> 00:05:17,701
She is all taken care of
in that department.
100
00:05:17,701 --> 00:05:20,367
And that department is sex.
101
00:05:20,367 --> 00:05:22,834
Oh, yeah,
because you're so good.
102
00:05:22,834 --> 00:05:24,701
Oh. Hey, you know?
The doctor actually said
103
00:05:24,701 --> 00:05:26,334
she needed
to cut back a little.
104
00:05:26,334 --> 00:05:28,467
To what? Just you?
105
00:05:29,534 --> 00:05:31,267
Well, so, what did Audrey buy?
106
00:05:31,267 --> 00:05:33,234
What makes you think
Audrey bought anything?
107
00:05:33,234 --> 00:05:35,667
I don't know. You guys
have been married forever.
108
00:05:35,667 --> 00:05:37,267
Plus you're like 90.
109
00:05:38,534 --> 00:05:40,501
I mean, I thought
you might need a little help,
110
00:05:40,501 --> 00:05:43,400
like the sexual equivalent
of a hearing aid.
111
00:05:44,567 --> 00:05:46,567
Well I don't.
And she doesn't.
112
00:05:46,567 --> 00:05:47,934
Audrey's totally covered.
113
00:05:47,934 --> 00:05:52,367
With all her needs and whatnot.
114
00:05:56,400 --> 00:05:57,501
What's that?
115
00:05:57,501 --> 00:05:59,067
What?
116
00:05:59,067 --> 00:06:00,501
Buzzing noise.
117
00:06:00,501 --> 00:06:02,601
Cell phone.
118
00:06:03,601 --> 00:06:04,801
Aren't you gonna answer it?
119
00:06:05,667 --> 00:06:06,968
No, that'd be rude.
120
00:06:06,968 --> 00:06:09,501
We're right in the middle
of a conversation.
121
00:06:09,501 --> 00:06:11,734
Well, shouldn't it go
to voice mail?
122
00:06:11,734 --> 00:06:14,634
No, I have it set to, um...
123
00:06:14,634 --> 00:06:16,501
"Just keep ringing."
124
00:06:25,734 --> 00:06:26,868
Get out.
125
00:06:35,167 --> 00:06:37,501
Oh, Jen, good.
126
00:06:37,501 --> 00:06:38,701
There you are. Okay.
127
00:06:38,701 --> 00:06:40,701
I need you to tell me
the truth about something.
128
00:06:40,701 --> 00:06:42,868
Yes. They're faking.
129
00:06:43,868 --> 00:06:46,767
Ha, ha.
And I don't care.
130
00:06:46,767 --> 00:06:48,167
I need you to look at me
and tell me
131
00:06:48,167 --> 00:06:49,834
if you would believe
that I'm married.
132
00:06:54,033 --> 00:06:55,901
Does this wife
need a green card?
133
00:06:55,901 --> 00:06:56,901
No.
134
00:06:56,901 --> 00:06:59,234
Is she blind?
No.
135
00:06:59,234 --> 00:07:00,567
Mail order?
Head injury?
136
00:07:00,567 --> 00:07:02,467
Clinically insane?
No, no, no.
137
00:07:02,467 --> 00:07:03,934
Trying to get back
at her parents?
138
00:07:03,934 --> 00:07:05,567
Aren't they all?
139
00:07:05,567 --> 00:07:07,634
Look, no, I wouldn't believe
you're married.
140
00:07:07,634 --> 00:07:10,567
Oh. Damn, I give out
such a single-guy aura.
141
00:07:10,567 --> 00:07:12,868
See, I met this chick and she's
only into married guys.
142
00:07:12,868 --> 00:07:14,968
Oh, she sounds
well-adjusted.
143
00:07:14,968 --> 00:07:17,334
So I need to get
that beaten-down,
144
00:07:17,334 --> 00:07:19,934
praying-for-sweet-death
married-guy vibe.
145
00:07:19,934 --> 00:07:22,434
Why don't you just lie
and say you're married?
146
00:07:22,434 --> 00:07:25,467
Um, because that's lazy
and disrespectful.
147
00:07:27,033 --> 00:07:29,634
And I've already tried that and
I don't think she's buying it.
148
00:07:29,634 --> 00:07:30,968
But I got us a date for coffee,
149
00:07:30,968 --> 00:07:33,133
and I'm already out
of miserable husband stories.
150
00:07:33,133 --> 00:07:35,100
That's where you
come into the picture.
151
00:07:35,100 --> 00:07:37,033
Oh, no.
I am not in the picture.
152
00:07:37,033 --> 00:07:38,968
Your pictures are
sleazy and disgusting
153
00:07:38,968 --> 00:07:40,734
and in the case
of that one you emailed me,
154
00:07:40,734 --> 00:07:42,634
demeaning to both
little people and clowns.
155
00:07:43,834 --> 00:07:45,601
I can see how clowns
are bummed out,
156
00:07:45,601 --> 00:07:47,267
but the little people
were having fun.
157
00:07:49,367 --> 00:07:51,167
You made it your screen saver?
I gotta go.
158
00:07:51,167 --> 00:07:52,334
No, no, no, wait.
Listen,
159
00:07:52,334 --> 00:07:54,200
I need to get in
the mindset of a married guy.
160
00:07:54,200 --> 00:07:55,634
How they think, how they feel.
161
00:07:55,634 --> 00:07:58,501
I need you to do me a favor.
Talk to me like a wife would.
162
00:07:58,501 --> 00:08:00,133
No, I'm not doing that for you.
163
00:08:00,133 --> 00:08:03,334
That's good,
that's very realistic.
164
00:08:03,334 --> 00:08:04,934
I'm going to write
some of this down.
165
00:08:04,934 --> 00:08:06,133
You're an idiot.
166
00:08:06,133 --> 00:08:07,701
Nice. More.
167
00:08:07,701 --> 00:08:09,801
I can't even look
at your face right now.
168
00:08:10,968 --> 00:08:13,834
Slow down,
you're going too fast.
169
00:08:13,834 --> 00:08:15,300
You're disgusting.
I gotta go.
170
00:08:15,300 --> 00:08:17,767
I said talk to me like a wife,
171
00:08:17,767 --> 00:08:19,734
not one of my dates.
172
00:08:24,133 --> 00:08:26,367
Whew. Eh?
173
00:08:26,367 --> 00:08:27,534
Wow!
174
00:08:27,534 --> 00:08:29,234
Huh?
175
00:08:30,234 --> 00:08:31,801
Job well done.
176
00:08:31,801 --> 00:08:33,234
Yeah.
177
00:08:33,234 --> 00:08:34,534
That was nice.
178
00:08:34,534 --> 00:08:38,467
So would you describe yourself
as "satisfied,"
179
00:08:38,467 --> 00:08:42,934
"extremely satisfied"
or "totally satisfied"?
180
00:08:44,400 --> 00:08:48,234
Look at you, still awake
and caring how it went.
181
00:08:49,234 --> 00:08:50,767
Hey, I care.
182
00:08:50,767 --> 00:08:52,367
In fact, I could go again.
183
00:08:53,968 --> 00:08:54,968
Eventually.
184
00:08:56,234 --> 00:08:58,834
That's all right, babe.
I'm kinda tired.
185
00:08:58,834 --> 00:09:01,033
Would you say "spent"?
186
00:09:02,100 --> 00:09:03,167
Yeah, sure.
187
00:09:07,701 --> 00:09:10,501
"Spent."
188
00:09:11,601 --> 00:09:13,267
All right.
189
00:09:27,534 --> 00:09:29,067
I don't believe this.
190
00:09:35,567 --> 00:09:37,000
Stop that right now!
191
00:09:37,000 --> 00:09:38,801
What?
192
00:09:40,901 --> 00:09:43,534
Overbrushing.
That's a serious problem.
193
00:09:45,334 --> 00:09:46,534
What are you talking about?
194
00:09:46,534 --> 00:09:49,434
Okay, look, I heard the buzzing
195
00:09:49,434 --> 00:09:51,467
and I thought
that you were, uh...
196
00:09:51,467 --> 00:09:52,701
I was what?
197
00:09:52,701 --> 00:09:53,968
Look, I found the little item
198
00:09:53,968 --> 00:09:55,767
that you bought at the party
earlier, so...
199
00:09:56,801 --> 00:09:59,300
That? That wasn't mine.
200
00:09:59,300 --> 00:10:00,868
I grabbed Jen's bag by mistake.
201
00:10:00,868 --> 00:10:04,100
Oh. So wait, the...
The bag was Jennifer's?
202
00:10:04,100 --> 00:10:05,133
Yeah.
203
00:10:06,434 --> 00:10:08,367
Excellent.
204
00:10:08,868 --> 00:10:09,868
Carry on.
205
00:10:17,133 --> 00:10:19,400
Uh-huh.
206
00:10:19,400 --> 00:10:21,467
Uh-huh.
Ah.
207
00:10:21,467 --> 00:10:23,801
Make a reservation for tonight.
208
00:10:23,801 --> 00:10:25,634
Uh...
209
00:10:25,634 --> 00:10:29,400
Make a res... Then don't make
reservations for tonight.
210
00:10:29,400 --> 00:10:31,400
All right. I gotta go.
Yeah.
211
00:10:31,400 --> 00:10:33,901
Oh.
212
00:10:33,901 --> 00:10:37,801
Why can't she make a decision?
213
00:10:40,567 --> 00:10:41,834
What are you doing?
214
00:10:41,834 --> 00:10:44,300
I'm getting great
"married guy" stuff here.
215
00:10:44,300 --> 00:10:46,901
I want to learn everything
about you that says "I give up."
216
00:10:48,501 --> 00:10:49,934
Hey, losers.
217
00:10:49,934 --> 00:10:54,000
Oh, so how was your lady's
little dirty soiree?
218
00:10:54,000 --> 00:10:55,167
Yes, Adam.
How was it?
219
00:10:55,167 --> 00:10:56,734
Did anyone
buy anything last night
220
00:10:56,734 --> 00:10:59,067
that we should know about?
Eh?
221
00:10:59,067 --> 00:11:00,601
Jen bought a sex toy.
222
00:11:00,601 --> 00:11:02,167
Oh!
223
00:11:02,167 --> 00:11:03,567
Just one? I thought
she'd have
224
00:11:03,567 --> 00:11:06,200
one of those big assassin
briefcases full.
225
00:11:10,801 --> 00:11:12,567
Stop it. No.
226
00:11:12,567 --> 00:11:13,934
No. She's never
had one before.
227
00:11:13,934 --> 00:11:18,000
Who needs a sexual
hearing aid now, huh?
228
00:11:18,000 --> 00:11:19,634
I win.
Oh.
229
00:11:21,000 --> 00:11:25,801
"He gets overly excited about
pathetic little victories."
230
00:11:25,801 --> 00:11:27,901
No, no, no.
Look, I won, okay?
231
00:11:27,901 --> 00:11:29,767
The item she got
was an us thing,
232
00:11:29,767 --> 00:11:32,501
which led to the best sex
we ever had.
233
00:11:32,501 --> 00:11:34,234
Ooh. What'd you guys use?
234
00:11:34,234 --> 00:11:37,133
Whips? Prosthetics? Chains?
235
00:11:37,133 --> 00:11:39,167
Smackerdoodles?
236
00:11:40,267 --> 00:11:44,067
Just some regular
non-weird stuff?
237
00:11:44,067 --> 00:11:45,300
Oh, starter kit.
238
00:11:45,300 --> 00:11:46,801
Cute.
239
00:11:46,801 --> 00:11:48,100
You know what?
Last night,
240
00:11:48,100 --> 00:11:50,067
Audrey and I had
a solid little session.
241
00:11:50,067 --> 00:11:51,400
No bells and whistles.
242
00:11:51,400 --> 00:11:54,734
Just a man, a woman and a bed.
243
00:11:54,734 --> 00:11:56,534
Dude, everybody's
using sex toys now.
244
00:11:56,534 --> 00:11:57,968
You gotta keep up.
245
00:11:57,968 --> 00:12:00,167
"Doesn't keep up."
246
00:12:00,167 --> 00:12:01,534
Yeah, you gotta try new stuff
247
00:12:01,534 --> 00:12:03,801
or you become like one of those
lame nostalgia bands,
248
00:12:03,801 --> 00:12:06,467
you know, playing the same
tired old hits year after year.
249
00:12:06,467 --> 00:12:08,334
Yeah, whenever those bands
play new stuff,
250
00:12:08,334 --> 00:12:10,067
that's when people
get up to get a beer.
251
00:12:10,067 --> 00:12:12,567
Audrey never gets up to get
a beer in the middle of my set.
252
00:12:12,567 --> 00:12:15,334
Yeah, that's because your set's
a tight four minutes.
253
00:12:16,367 --> 00:12:19,267
Ah. "Finishes
really quickly."
254
00:12:24,367 --> 00:12:27,501
"Sensitive about finishing."
255
00:12:27,501 --> 00:12:29,934
You know what? I asked Audrey
last night how it went,
256
00:12:29,934 --> 00:12:31,734
and she said it was fine.
257
00:12:31,734 --> 00:12:34,267
Hey-o! "Fine." Wow.
258
00:12:34,267 --> 00:12:37,701
That's slightly better
than okay.
259
00:12:37,701 --> 00:12:39,400
You know, I'm just saying,
Audrey seems
260
00:12:39,400 --> 00:12:41,534
like someone who likes
to keep up with new stuff.
261
00:12:42,634 --> 00:12:44,167
She did just get
a new cell phone.
262
00:12:44,167 --> 00:12:46,300
And downloaded
that new Coldplay CD.
263
00:12:46,300 --> 00:12:47,801
Ooh.
Ooh.
264
00:12:49,367 --> 00:12:50,767
That doesn't sound like someone
265
00:12:50,767 --> 00:12:52,267
who enjoys sweating
to the oldies.
266
00:12:52,267 --> 00:12:55,033
Hm. Or sweating
under the oldie.
267
00:12:56,400 --> 00:12:57,400
That's for the pencil.
268
00:12:57,400 --> 00:12:59,734
No! That's my last one!
269
00:13:08,868 --> 00:13:10,067
Whoa!
270
00:13:11,133 --> 00:13:13,033
Look at this place.
271
00:13:13,033 --> 00:13:14,968
Oh, cool, games!
272
00:13:16,534 --> 00:13:18,434
S-sex games.
273
00:13:20,767 --> 00:13:24,100
All right, I'm a married guy
in a sex shop.
274
00:13:24,100 --> 00:13:25,601
How am I feeling?
275
00:13:25,601 --> 00:13:28,167
I'm feeling...
276
00:13:28,167 --> 00:13:30,300
constipated?
277
00:13:30,300 --> 00:13:32,334
What am I doing here?
278
00:13:32,334 --> 00:13:33,434
Oh, confused.
279
00:13:33,434 --> 00:13:35,901
You know, it looks a lot
like constipated.
280
00:13:35,901 --> 00:13:37,767
Hey, guys.
Check it out.
281
00:13:37,767 --> 00:13:39,901
"Par-sleazy."
282
00:13:39,901 --> 00:13:44,501
You know,
instead of "cheesi." Yeah.
283
00:13:44,501 --> 00:13:46,234
Hi.
Can I help you?
284
00:13:46,234 --> 00:13:47,701
Uh, just looking around.
285
00:13:47,701 --> 00:13:49,767
Oh, for something
for you and your wife?
286
00:13:49,767 --> 00:13:51,501
See? How does he know
you're married?
287
00:13:51,501 --> 00:13:53,267
You know, I'm looking
for something too.
288
00:13:53,267 --> 00:13:55,167
Yeah, the fetish stuff's
in the back, buddy.
289
00:13:56,901 --> 00:13:59,033
No, the wife and I
are to... Look...
290
00:13:59,033 --> 00:14:01,467
Yeah.
It's in the back, okay?
291
00:14:04,968 --> 00:14:07,601
Okay, uh, so, what sort
of things is your wife into?
292
00:14:07,601 --> 00:14:10,901
You know, new stuff
like texting and Coldplay.
293
00:14:12,334 --> 00:14:14,968
No. I mean
what does she into sexually?
294
00:14:14,968 --> 00:14:17,033
Watch it, buddy.
295
00:14:17,033 --> 00:14:22,400
Sorry. I didn't mean to offend
you, Mr. Sex Store Customer.
296
00:14:23,868 --> 00:14:26,234
I'm sorry, I'm...
I'm new at this whole thing.
297
00:14:26,234 --> 00:14:28,234
That's all right.
Let's start with the basics.
298
00:14:28,234 --> 00:14:30,300
How about some lingerie?
299
00:14:30,300 --> 00:14:31,634
Forty-nine dollars?
300
00:14:31,634 --> 00:14:33,534
There's barely anything there.
301
00:14:33,534 --> 00:14:35,734
Yeah, it's crotchless.
302
00:14:35,734 --> 00:14:38,067
It's like the old
egg white scam.
303
00:14:38,067 --> 00:14:40,834
They take the yolk away,
but they charge you more.
304
00:14:40,834 --> 00:14:43,467
You're just taking the yolk
of the panties away
305
00:14:43,467 --> 00:14:45,701
and raising the price.
306
00:14:46,901 --> 00:14:49,200
Wow, you really are
new at this, aren't you?
307
00:14:49,200 --> 00:14:51,400
Let me show you something.
308
00:14:51,400 --> 00:14:52,400
Hm.
309
00:14:52,400 --> 00:14:54,567
Got it.
310
00:14:54,567 --> 00:14:56,567
Got it.
311
00:14:56,567 --> 00:14:58,033
Had it.
312
00:14:59,067 --> 00:15:00,234
Broke it.
313
00:15:01,634 --> 00:15:03,667
"New and improved." Hm.
314
00:15:03,667 --> 00:15:04,667
We'll see.
315
00:15:06,234 --> 00:15:07,934
Hey, beads.
316
00:15:07,934 --> 00:15:09,667
Audrey likes this crafty stuff.
317
00:15:09,667 --> 00:15:10,767
What is this?
A necklace?
318
00:15:14,901 --> 00:15:18,234
Yes. Yes. That's exactly
what it is. It's a necklace.
319
00:15:18,234 --> 00:15:20,667
Here, let me show you some
of our more popular items.
320
00:15:20,667 --> 00:15:21,767
Here, in this area.
321
00:15:21,767 --> 00:15:23,701
This is...
This is good stuff.
322
00:15:23,701 --> 00:15:25,434
Really?
Yeah.
323
00:15:25,434 --> 00:15:26,934
I love this woman.
324
00:15:35,534 --> 00:15:37,400
Doing some shopping?
Some.
325
00:15:37,400 --> 00:15:39,701
Oh, hold the elevator.
326
00:15:39,701 --> 00:15:40,701
Hey.
327
00:15:40,701 --> 00:15:42,501
Hey.
What you got in there?
328
00:15:42,501 --> 00:15:45,467
Oh, you know, I just picked up
a few things.
329
00:15:45,467 --> 00:15:50,234
Otis, leave the man's
groceries alone.
330
00:15:50,234 --> 00:15:51,701
You bought groceries?
331
00:15:51,701 --> 00:15:53,400
Oh, do you have
some chips or something?
332
00:15:53,400 --> 00:15:55,734
I am so hungry.
You're always hungry.
333
00:15:55,734 --> 00:15:57,100
Back off.
334
00:15:57,100 --> 00:15:58,267
You're acting weird.
335
00:15:58,267 --> 00:15:59,901
You're acting weird.
336
00:15:59,901 --> 00:16:01,534
Why are you being so sneaky?
337
00:16:01,534 --> 00:16:02,701
Let me see what's in there.
338
00:16:02,701 --> 00:16:03,767
What is this?
Red China?
339
00:16:04,567 --> 00:16:06,067
Is it a present?
340
00:16:06,067 --> 00:16:07,300
What? What?
341
00:16:07,300 --> 00:16:09,334
Otis, what do you have?
342
00:16:09,334 --> 00:16:10,567
Jeff!
Oh!
343
00:16:12,067 --> 00:16:13,234
Oh, my...
344
00:16:13,234 --> 00:16:15,434
Oh, my God, is that
what I think it is?
345
00:16:17,200 --> 00:16:19,033
It's hers.
346
00:16:22,767 --> 00:16:26,000
What would possess you
to buy all this stuff?
347
00:16:26,000 --> 00:16:29,367
Look, I didn't want us to become
a nostalgia band, okay?
348
00:16:30,434 --> 00:16:32,534
I... I have no idea
what that means
349
00:16:32,534 --> 00:16:35,767
or what it has to do with
remote-controlled underwear.
350
00:16:37,667 --> 00:16:39,167
Look, I didn't want you
to get tired
351
00:16:39,167 --> 00:16:41,934
of, you know, always
hearing the same old songs
352
00:16:41,934 --> 00:16:43,100
in the bedroom.
353
00:16:43,100 --> 00:16:44,868
Oh.
354
00:16:44,868 --> 00:16:46,801
Honey, no.
Those are great songs.
355
00:16:46,801 --> 00:16:49,701
I love those songs.
They are great.
356
00:16:49,701 --> 00:16:52,601
You know I'm not talking
about actual songs, right?
357
00:16:52,601 --> 00:16:55,067
Yeah. Yeah.
I got that.
358
00:16:55,067 --> 00:16:57,067
It's just that we've
been married for 13 years
359
00:16:57,067 --> 00:16:59,000
and our sex life is, uh...
360
00:16:59,000 --> 00:17:00,734
Honey, our sex life is fine.
361
00:17:00,734 --> 00:17:03,834
I thought I could give you
something more than fine.
362
00:17:03,834 --> 00:17:07,133
So you... You bought me
a whole sex shop?
363
00:17:07,133 --> 00:17:09,467
Actually there was another bag
364
00:17:09,467 --> 00:17:12,801
that spilled on the sidewalk.
365
00:17:12,801 --> 00:17:15,901
I was too embarrassed
to pick it all up so...
366
00:17:15,901 --> 00:17:17,367
I just ran.
367
00:17:18,934 --> 00:17:21,567
Honey, that's so nice.
368
00:17:21,567 --> 00:17:23,133
You were thinking of me.
369
00:17:23,133 --> 00:17:25,167
But honestly,
all I need is you.
370
00:17:25,167 --> 00:17:26,167
Really?
371
00:17:26,167 --> 00:17:30,400
Yes.
You're my big sex toy.
372
00:17:32,100 --> 00:17:33,234
Oh. Thanks.
373
00:17:33,234 --> 00:17:35,100
But what are we gonna do
with all this stuff?
374
00:17:35,100 --> 00:17:36,701
You know, unfortunately,
375
00:17:36,701 --> 00:17:39,767
the Lust Frontier has
a pretty strict return policy.
376
00:17:41,033 --> 00:17:42,200
Well...
377
00:17:42,200 --> 00:17:44,367
it'd be a waste
just to throw it away.
378
00:17:44,367 --> 00:17:46,234
I mean...
379
00:17:46,234 --> 00:17:49,067
I guess trying some of this
stuff wouldn't hurt.
380
00:17:49,067 --> 00:17:50,267
Ooh.
381
00:17:50,267 --> 00:17:53,501
Actually, I think
that one would.
382
00:17:53,501 --> 00:17:56,501
Did you know that one's
for you, right?
383
00:17:56,501 --> 00:17:59,167
I'm positive that would hurt.
384
00:18:06,334 --> 00:18:08,934
So I'm like,
"Make the reservation.
385
00:18:08,934 --> 00:18:11,200
Okay, don't make
the reservation."
386
00:18:11,200 --> 00:18:14,701
Oh! I mean, I love her,
but she can't make a decision.
387
00:18:14,701 --> 00:18:16,033
It's just so...
388
00:18:18,400 --> 00:18:19,634
Confusing?
389
00:18:19,634 --> 00:18:21,767
Yes! Thank you.
390
00:18:21,767 --> 00:18:24,767
You know what? You don't need
to hear my "married guy" stuff.
391
00:18:24,767 --> 00:18:27,367
It's a bore.
Oh. I don't mind.
392
00:18:27,367 --> 00:18:29,968
You know, you seem like you need
someone to talk to.
393
00:18:29,968 --> 00:18:31,133
I do.
394
00:18:31,133 --> 00:18:33,200
I mean, Beth's great, it's just
395
00:18:33,200 --> 00:18:35,400
sometimes I don't think
she hears me.
396
00:18:35,400 --> 00:18:37,334
I understand.
397
00:18:37,334 --> 00:18:43,067
You know, maybe we should go
somewhere quieter to talk.
398
00:18:43,067 --> 00:18:46,133
Well, I guess there's
no harm in talking.
399
00:18:46,133 --> 00:18:47,834
Check, please.
400
00:18:49,868 --> 00:18:51,901
Oh, my God. This is so kinky.
401
00:18:51,901 --> 00:18:55,901
My wife Beth would never do
anything like this.
402
00:18:55,901 --> 00:18:57,801
By the way, this one's got
a little play in it.
403
00:18:57,801 --> 00:18:59,634
You might want
to tighten it up.
404
00:19:01,067 --> 00:19:03,200
Mm. Oh, okay.
Okay, got it, got it.
405
00:19:04,634 --> 00:19:05,901
Oh.
406
00:19:05,901 --> 00:19:07,601
This is kind of hot.
407
00:19:07,601 --> 00:19:09,067
Hey, what are you doing?
408
00:19:09,067 --> 00:19:10,701
I'm robbing you.
409
00:19:10,701 --> 00:19:13,033
Of my monogamy?
410
00:19:14,033 --> 00:19:16,200
Of your cash and credit cards.
411
00:19:16,200 --> 00:19:18,434
And then my monogamy?
412
00:19:18,434 --> 00:19:20,334
And you're not going
to tell anyone,
413
00:19:20,334 --> 00:19:22,334
because if you do,
your wife will find out
414
00:19:22,334 --> 00:19:26,133
and she'll divorce you
and take everything you've got.
415
00:19:26,133 --> 00:19:28,434
Oh, that's why you like
married guys.
416
00:19:28,434 --> 00:19:29,934
Uh-huh.
417
00:19:29,934 --> 00:19:31,534
Well, the joke's on you,
sweetheart.
418
00:19:31,534 --> 00:19:33,567
I'm not really married!
Ha-ha!
419
00:19:33,567 --> 00:19:35,033
Who looks stupid now?
420
00:19:38,400 --> 00:19:40,367
All right, still me.
421
00:19:40,367 --> 00:19:42,634
Hey, can you turn the TV on?
422
00:19:44,067 --> 00:19:46,667
Marriage sucks.
423
00:19:53,033 --> 00:19:54,400
That's good.
Mm.
424
00:19:54,400 --> 00:19:57,734
I want more of that.
Mm.
425
00:19:59,467 --> 00:20:00,868
Mm.
426
00:20:00,868 --> 00:20:03,000
Not bad for sex food.
427
00:20:03,000 --> 00:20:05,167
This is fun.
It's good to try new things.
428
00:20:05,167 --> 00:20:07,167
How's the edible underwear?
It's good.
429
00:20:07,167 --> 00:20:09,334
It says the flavor
is passion fruit.
430
00:20:09,334 --> 00:20:11,400
Huh. Yeah, I get that.
431
00:20:12,868 --> 00:20:15,000
Want to try a pair?
Sure.
432
00:20:16,000 --> 00:20:18,000
How about I put it on first?
433
00:20:18,000 --> 00:20:21,601
Yes, Jeff, because that's
what I want my food touching
434
00:20:21,601 --> 00:20:22,834
before I eat it.
435
00:20:23,901 --> 00:20:25,534
Yeah, I get that.
436
00:20:43,234 --> 00:20:44,534
Hey.
437
00:20:44,534 --> 00:20:47,000
I didn't know you got
an electric toothbrush.
438
00:20:47,000 --> 00:20:48,534
I didn't.
439
00:20:51,734 --> 00:20:53,868
Man, I am spent.
440
00:20:55,067 --> 00:20:56,067
Good night, honey.
30522
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bengali
Bosnian
Bulgarian
Catalan
Cebuano
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Finnish
French
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Gujarati
Haitian Creole
Hawaiian
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Khmer
Korean
Kurdish (Kurmanji)
Kyrgyz
Lao
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Portuguese
Romanian
Russian
Samoan
Serbian
Sesotho
Shona
Sinhala
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swahili
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Turkish
Ukrainian
Urdu
Uzbek
Vietnamese
