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♪ ♪
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♪ ♪
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♪ Love, love ♪
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♪ Love, love ♪
5
00:00:48,014 --> 00:00:50,748
♪ Love, American Style ♪
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00:00:50,784 --> 00:00:53,851
♪ Truer than the
red, white and blue ♪
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♪ Love, American Style ♪
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00:00:57,357 --> 00:01:01,759
♪ That's me and you ♪
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00:01:03,230 --> 00:01:07,499
♪ And on a star-spangled
night, my love ♪
10
00:01:07,534 --> 00:01:08,833
♪ You can rest ♪
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00:01:08,868 --> 00:01:14,806
♪ You can rest your
head on my shoulder ♪
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♪ Or by the dawn's
early light, my love ♪
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♪ I will defend ♪
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♪ I will defend
your right to try ♪
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♪ Love, American Style ♪
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♪ That's me and you. ♪
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Tonight, you will see
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three separate views
of love, American style:
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a marriage a young
husband couldn't talk about
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and his wife didn't know about;
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a couple who proved to
be half of what they seemed;
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and our first story
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about a guide for
married life called:
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♪ ♪
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Uh-oh.
26
00:03:03,300 --> 00:03:05,300
I wanted to be home before you.
27
00:03:05,335 --> 00:03:06,401
That makes two of us.
28
00:03:06,436 --> 00:03:08,736
I wanted you to be
home before me, too.
29
00:03:08,772 --> 00:03:11,572
Sorry, darling, but
my class was late.
30
00:03:11,608 --> 00:03:13,041
Hey, what did you
have for lunch?
31
00:03:13,076 --> 00:03:14,154
I didn't have any lunch.
32
00:03:14,178 --> 00:03:15,277
What's that taste?
33
00:03:15,312 --> 00:03:17,624
Anchovies and teething biscuits.
34
00:03:17,648 --> 00:03:18,980
Yech.
35
00:03:19,016 --> 00:03:21,327
Oddly enough, as bad
as the combination sounds,
36
00:03:21,351 --> 00:03:23,417
it tastes even worse.
37
00:03:23,453 --> 00:03:25,064
You know, honey,
when a man comes home
38
00:03:25,088 --> 00:03:26,332
from a hard day's work,
39
00:03:26,356 --> 00:03:27,767
his dinner's
supposed to be ready.
40
00:03:27,791 --> 00:03:30,892
I'm always a little late on
Tuesdays because of my class.
41
00:03:30,927 --> 00:03:32,171
Now you know that. Mm-hmm.
42
00:03:32,195 --> 00:03:33,594
Why'd you miss
lunch today anyway?
43
00:03:33,630 --> 00:03:34,774
I'm on a diet.
44
00:03:34,798 --> 00:03:37,165
Why did you go on a diet?
45
00:03:37,200 --> 00:03:39,760
One of the secretaries at
work happened to comment.
46
00:03:40,704 --> 00:03:42,515
Uh, don't you have
any potato chips?
47
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Yeah, in that bag.
48
00:03:44,875 --> 00:03:46,074
So you missed lunch,
49
00:03:46,109 --> 00:03:48,087
then you eat anchovies
and teething biscuits,
50
00:03:48,111 --> 00:03:49,588
and now potato chips. Uh-huh.
51
00:03:49,612 --> 00:03:50,857
What kind of diet is that?
52
00:03:50,881 --> 00:03:52,580
A very weird one.
53
00:03:52,615 --> 00:03:54,694
It's better than the
one Frank Peters is on.
54
00:03:54,718 --> 00:03:56,529
He drinks that liquid
diet stuff every day.
55
00:03:56,553 --> 00:03:57,686
What's wrong with that?
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00:03:57,721 --> 00:04:00,521
Has 11 cans of it for lunch.
57
00:04:00,557 --> 00:04:03,375
Hey, uh, where's Stevie?
58
00:04:03,410 --> 00:04:04,876
Whoops.
59
00:04:04,912 --> 00:04:06,978
What do you mean, "Whoops"?
60
00:04:07,014 --> 00:04:08,513
When I ask where my son is,
61
00:04:08,548 --> 00:04:10,393
I want a better
answer than "Whoops."
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00:04:10,417 --> 00:04:12,384
I forgot all about him.
63
00:04:12,419 --> 00:04:13,651
Where'd you leave him?
64
00:04:13,686 --> 00:04:15,554
In a basket at the supermarket?
65
00:04:15,589 --> 00:04:17,506
No, he's at Mother's.
66
00:04:17,541 --> 00:04:19,285
The babysitter
was late showing up
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00:04:19,309 --> 00:04:20,642
and I had to run off to class,
68
00:04:20,677 --> 00:04:22,810
so I dropped him off over there.
69
00:04:22,846 --> 00:04:24,746
Say, why don't I call her
70
00:04:24,781 --> 00:04:27,482
and see if she'll mind
keeping him overnight?
71
00:04:27,518 --> 00:04:29,496
What do you mean "overnight"?
72
00:04:29,520 --> 00:04:33,021
Well, if I drop everything
and drive over there now,
73
00:04:33,057 --> 00:04:34,689
you won't get your
dinner for at least
74
00:04:34,724 --> 00:04:36,069
an hour and a half. Mm-hmm.
75
00:04:36,093 --> 00:04:37,437
And if we wait
till after dinner,
76
00:04:37,461 --> 00:04:38,604
he'll be asleep by then,
77
00:04:38,628 --> 00:04:40,006
and it'd be a shame
to wake him up.
78
00:04:40,030 --> 00:04:41,207
No, he'll be fine.
79
00:04:41,231 --> 00:04:42,275
She loves having him.
80
00:04:42,299 --> 00:04:44,266
She feeds him prune juice.
81
00:04:44,301 --> 00:04:45,778
I think she's conducting
an experiment
82
00:04:45,802 --> 00:04:47,414
to see how much a
four-year-old can hold
83
00:04:47,438 --> 00:04:48,681
in the way of prune juice.
84
00:04:48,705 --> 00:04:49,904
You're being silly.
85
00:04:49,940 --> 00:04:51,084
He's going to get wrinkles.
86
00:04:51,108 --> 00:04:52,874
Oh, he's going to be delighted
87
00:04:52,909 --> 00:04:54,754
to hear that he can
spend the night there.
88
00:04:54,778 --> 00:04:56,511
Well, what about me?
89
00:04:56,547 --> 00:04:58,691
Do you want to spend
the night there, too?
90
00:04:58,715 --> 00:05:00,248
Don't I count around
here anymore?
91
00:05:00,284 --> 00:05:03,151
I mean, is it so much for
me to ask to see my son?
92
00:05:03,187 --> 00:05:04,386
I want to see my son.
93
00:05:04,421 --> 00:05:05,787
I also want my dinner.
94
00:05:05,822 --> 00:05:07,155
I'm sorry, darling.
95
00:05:07,191 --> 00:05:08,968
It's just because of
that doggone class
96
00:05:08,992 --> 00:05:10,370
that everything got fouled up.
97
00:05:10,394 --> 00:05:12,438
Why do you have to
go to class for anyway?
98
00:05:12,462 --> 00:05:14,206
I mean, don't you have
enough to do around here
99
00:05:14,230 --> 00:05:15,375
without going to class?
100
00:05:15,399 --> 00:05:18,132
I am just trying
to improve myself.
101
00:05:18,167 --> 00:05:19,812
What kind of course
are you taking?
102
00:05:19,836 --> 00:05:22,069
Well, I told you about it
a couple of weeks ago
103
00:05:22,105 --> 00:05:24,138
when I enrolled.
I don't remember.
104
00:05:24,173 --> 00:05:26,085
I'd like to know what
course is preventing me
105
00:05:26,109 --> 00:05:27,319
from getting my dinner on time
106
00:05:27,343 --> 00:05:28,663
and seeing my son
when I want him.
107
00:05:28,696 --> 00:05:30,795
It's just, uh...
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00:05:30,831 --> 00:05:32,880
Try that again.
109
00:05:32,916 --> 00:05:37,184
It's called "Making
Your Marriage Work."
110
00:05:41,307 --> 00:05:44,343
Whatever made you
pick a course like that?
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00:05:44,378 --> 00:05:45,610
Oh, I don't know.
112
00:05:45,646 --> 00:05:47,890
Alice and I went over
to sign up for that class
113
00:05:47,914 --> 00:05:50,126
in African Cookery,
but it was all filled up.
114
00:05:50,150 --> 00:05:51,695
So we figured, as
long as we were there,
115
00:05:51,719 --> 00:05:53,363
we might as well
sign up for something.
116
00:05:53,387 --> 00:05:55,520
How's Alice's marriage
since she enrolled?
117
00:05:55,556 --> 00:05:57,021
Len ask for a divorce yet?
118
00:05:57,057 --> 00:05:58,901
She didn't take "Making
Your Marriage Work."
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00:05:58,925 --> 00:06:00,024
What'd she take?
120
00:06:00,060 --> 00:06:01,793
Bookbinding.
121
00:06:01,829 --> 00:06:03,306
Now see, honey,
there's something useful.
122
00:06:03,330 --> 00:06:05,096
Bookbinding. I got
a lot of old Playboys
123
00:06:05,131 --> 00:06:07,377
that are laying around here;
you could've bound them for me.
124
00:06:07,401 --> 00:06:09,479
Honey, we've been
married for seven years,
125
00:06:09,503 --> 00:06:12,053
a marriage that's worked fine
without you taking any courses.
126
00:06:14,625 --> 00:06:16,507
What's that supposed to mean?
127
00:06:16,543 --> 00:06:18,426
I didn't say anything.
128
00:06:18,462 --> 00:06:20,390
It was the way you
didn't say anything.
129
00:06:20,414 --> 00:06:23,114
Well, you just can't
be too careful, that's all.
130
00:06:23,149 --> 00:06:24,765
That's for sure, honey.
131
00:06:24,802 --> 00:06:27,068
I'm not going to risk
ruining a good marriage
132
00:06:27,104 --> 00:06:29,137
just by having you go
and have your head filled
133
00:06:29,173 --> 00:06:30,471
with a lot of drivel.
134
00:06:30,507 --> 00:06:32,040
You're wrong, Howard.
135
00:06:32,075 --> 00:06:35,155
I am going to become
a better wife for it.
136
00:06:35,179 --> 00:06:38,480
I'll be more aware,
more... more sympathetic,
137
00:06:38,515 --> 00:06:40,515
more understanding.
138
00:06:40,567 --> 00:06:41,816
You're fine now.
139
00:06:41,852 --> 00:06:44,018
I like you just the way you are.
140
00:06:44,071 --> 00:06:46,337
Never had to take
any courses before.
141
00:06:46,373 --> 00:06:49,123
We've never been in
the danger zone before.
142
00:06:49,159 --> 00:06:50,207
Danger zone?
143
00:06:50,244 --> 00:06:52,255
Oh, it usually starts
in the seventh year.
144
00:06:52,279 --> 00:06:55,029
The danger zone started when
you enrolled for that course.
145
00:06:55,082 --> 00:06:57,527
Let me ask you one thing.
146
00:06:57,551 --> 00:07:00,063
Has our marriage been
running smoothly lately?
147
00:07:00,087 --> 00:07:02,287
Up until tonight, yes.
148
00:07:02,322 --> 00:07:04,600
Then give Dr. Halverson
some credit.
149
00:07:04,624 --> 00:07:06,458
Who's he? She!
150
00:07:06,493 --> 00:07:08,772
She's the psychologist
who conducts the course.
151
00:07:08,796 --> 00:07:11,129
Oh, darling, you don't
know the sense of serenity
152
00:07:11,165 --> 00:07:12,397
I'm beginning to get.
153
00:07:12,433 --> 00:07:14,310
Darling, you don't
know the sense of pain
154
00:07:14,334 --> 00:07:16,134
I'm beginning to get right here.
155
00:07:16,169 --> 00:07:17,402
What do you mean, "serenity"?
156
00:07:17,438 --> 00:07:20,171
The ability to accept
157
00:07:20,206 --> 00:07:22,941
certain facts of
life gracefully.
158
00:07:22,976 --> 00:07:24,353
To realize there...
there are things
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00:07:24,377 --> 00:07:27,011
beyond the control
of the human animal
160
00:07:27,047 --> 00:07:29,292
and to try and learn
to live with them.
161
00:07:29,316 --> 00:07:32,100
Who are you calling
a "human animal"?
162
00:07:32,152 --> 00:07:34,686
Howard, we're all animals.
163
00:07:34,721 --> 00:07:36,988
Our intelligences may
be highly developed,
164
00:07:37,024 --> 00:07:39,758
but the basic
instincts are still there.
165
00:07:39,793 --> 00:07:41,092
That's true.
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00:07:41,127 --> 00:07:44,524
All of a sudden I have an
urge to bite Dr. Halverson.
167
00:07:44,548 --> 00:07:47,182
Oh, now, this wasn't just
her idea; it's in the book, too.
168
00:07:47,217 --> 00:07:48,265
What book?
169
00:07:48,302 --> 00:07:52,003
Here, this one.
170
00:07:52,038 --> 00:07:54,071
The Modern Wife.
171
00:07:54,107 --> 00:07:56,586
Oh, darling, it wouldn't
hurt you to read it, either.
172
00:07:56,610 --> 00:07:58,443
I don't want to
be a modern wife.
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00:07:58,478 --> 00:08:00,512
And I don't want you
to be a modern wife.
174
00:08:00,547 --> 00:08:02,614
I like you old-fashioned.
175
00:08:02,649 --> 00:08:04,916
Honey, let's forget
this stuff, huh?
176
00:08:04,951 --> 00:08:06,984
Look, I'll light the fire, huh?
177
00:08:07,020 --> 00:08:09,120
Turn down the
lights and we'll neck.
178
00:08:09,155 --> 00:08:10,800
Sounds like fun. Uh-huh.
179
00:08:10,824 --> 00:08:11,967
But we're out of firewood.
180
00:08:11,991 --> 00:08:13,792
We'll burn this.
181
00:08:13,827 --> 00:08:16,339
I don't see why you're
being so defensive.
182
00:08:16,363 --> 00:08:18,613
It's just a little course. Ha!
183
00:08:18,665 --> 00:08:20,409
That's like the
captain of the Titanic
184
00:08:20,433 --> 00:08:22,333
saying it's just a little ice.
185
00:08:22,369 --> 00:08:24,480
Look, you take courses
like this and I guarantee you
186
00:08:24,504 --> 00:08:26,671
we're looking for
trouble, like right now.
187
00:08:26,706 --> 00:08:29,924
We're closer to a real argument
than we've been in years.
188
00:08:29,960 --> 00:08:31,392
It's the danger zone.
189
00:08:31,428 --> 00:08:33,339
It's going to be
the twilight zone
190
00:08:33,363 --> 00:08:36,276
if you don't knock it off
with those ridiculous terms.
191
00:08:36,300 --> 00:08:40,468
Look, I can understand your
not wanting to talk about it yet.
192
00:08:40,504 --> 00:08:45,206
But once you know that I know
and that I really understand,
193
00:08:45,241 --> 00:08:46,974
you won't mind discussing it.
194
00:08:47,027 --> 00:08:48,075
What do you know?
195
00:08:48,111 --> 00:08:50,344
You know.
196
00:08:50,379 --> 00:08:53,126
Honey.
197
00:08:53,150 --> 00:08:55,516
You have anything
against giving it a name?
198
00:08:55,569 --> 00:08:56,701
Oh, it's in the book.
199
00:08:56,737 --> 00:09:00,338
Chapter 3.
200
00:09:00,373 --> 00:09:02,435
"Modern Toilet Training."
201
00:09:02,459 --> 00:09:05,160
Oh, I guess it's Chapter 4.
202
00:09:05,195 --> 00:09:09,264
You see, Dr. Halverson
has shown us that as men,
203
00:09:09,299 --> 00:09:11,566
you have certain natural needs.
204
00:09:11,601 --> 00:09:13,012
You must have the
wrong chapter again.
205
00:09:13,036 --> 00:09:16,537
This one's called "The
Unfaithful Husband."
206
00:09:16,573 --> 00:09:18,051
You mean you think I've been...
207
00:09:18,075 --> 00:09:19,607
You're a man, darling.
208
00:09:19,642 --> 00:09:21,359
You're not made of stone.
209
00:09:21,395 --> 00:09:23,027
Are you accusing me?
210
00:09:23,062 --> 00:09:24,462
Oh, no, I'm not accusing.
211
00:09:24,498 --> 00:09:27,632
I'm understanding, or trying to.
212
00:09:27,667 --> 00:09:30,145
A man has to sow
a few wild oats.
213
00:09:30,169 --> 00:09:31,369
Well, don't bother.
214
00:09:31,405 --> 00:09:33,538
I've never sown a
wild oat in my life.
215
00:09:33,573 --> 00:09:36,018
Darling, lying about
it, trying to cover it up
216
00:09:36,042 --> 00:09:38,087
is only going to make
you feel twice as guilty.
217
00:09:38,111 --> 00:09:40,812
How can I be twice as guilty
when I'm not once as guilty?
218
00:09:40,847 --> 00:09:43,615
Darling, I've
learned to accept it.
219
00:09:43,650 --> 00:09:45,149
How dare you accept it!
220
00:09:45,184 --> 00:09:47,151
Don't you trust me?
221
00:09:47,186 --> 00:09:48,898
Oh, it isn't a
question of trust.
222
00:09:48,922 --> 00:09:50,154
It is too!
223
00:09:50,189 --> 00:09:51,723
For seven years
I've been Mr. Straight
224
00:09:51,758 --> 00:09:52,990
and this is what I get?
225
00:09:53,026 --> 00:09:54,236
Well, let me tell you something.
226
00:09:54,260 --> 00:09:56,461
I resent your implication
that because I'm a man,
227
00:09:56,496 --> 00:09:59,163
I'm some sort of
inferior person morally.
228
00:09:59,198 --> 00:10:01,999
What does your little
book say about that?
229
00:10:02,035 --> 00:10:03,968
Oh.
230
00:10:08,374 --> 00:10:10,107
"The more guilt-ridden
the husband is,
231
00:10:10,143 --> 00:10:12,677
"the louder he'll
protest his innocence,
232
00:10:12,712 --> 00:10:14,646
"whereas the husband
with nothing to hide
233
00:10:14,681 --> 00:10:17,315
will merely laugh off
such a suggestion."
234
00:10:24,891 --> 00:10:27,692
I wish you'd stop that.
235
00:10:27,727 --> 00:10:28,860
Stop what?
236
00:10:28,895 --> 00:10:31,028
All that laughing and chuckling.
237
00:10:31,064 --> 00:10:33,731
You remind me of Richard
Widmark in that movie
238
00:10:33,767 --> 00:10:34,967
when he pushed that old woman
239
00:10:35,001 --> 00:10:36,712
down the stairs
in her wheelchair.
240
00:10:36,736 --> 00:10:39,871
Oh, I can't help that this
whole thing strikes me so funny.
241
00:10:39,906 --> 00:10:43,307
It struck Richard
Widmark funny, too.
242
00:10:43,343 --> 00:10:46,043
I thought we decided not to
talk about it anymore tonight.
243
00:10:46,079 --> 00:10:47,211
Who's talking about it?
244
00:10:47,246 --> 00:10:48,324
I'm merely laughing about it.
245
00:10:48,348 --> 00:10:50,209
However,
246
00:10:50,233 --> 00:10:52,277
inasmuch you seem to
want to bring it up again,
247
00:10:52,301 --> 00:10:53,468
let me just ask one thing.
248
00:10:53,520 --> 00:10:55,453
Oh, Howard, please.
249
00:10:55,489 --> 00:10:57,421
Just one thing, that's all.
250
00:10:57,457 --> 00:10:58,668
Then we'll drop
the whole subject.
251
00:10:58,692 --> 00:11:00,753
All right, what is it?
252
00:11:00,777 --> 00:11:04,211
If you think I've been cheating,
why don't you divorce me?
253
00:11:04,247 --> 00:11:06,714
Not so loud. You'll wake Stevie.
254
00:11:06,750 --> 00:11:08,649
He's all the way across
town at your mother's!
255
00:11:08,684 --> 00:11:09,984
I know!
256
00:11:10,019 --> 00:11:12,987
Oh! Oh, so you think this
is something to joke about?
257
00:11:13,022 --> 00:11:14,834
Oh, hardly, but it seems...
258
00:11:14,858 --> 00:11:17,058
All right, all right.
259
00:11:17,093 --> 00:11:18,325
Let's hear it.
260
00:11:18,361 --> 00:11:19,861
Let's hear the
evidence against me.
261
00:11:19,896 --> 00:11:21,662
I assume you have evidence.
262
00:11:21,697 --> 00:11:24,665
This is exactly what I
was trying to avoid. Yep.
263
00:11:24,700 --> 00:11:27,835
Now if I start naming things,
you'll only get more upset.
264
00:11:27,871 --> 00:11:30,738
You'd think I'd been
making lists or something.
265
00:11:30,774 --> 00:11:32,373
I want to hear all the evidence.
266
00:11:38,398 --> 00:11:39,592
What are you looking for?
267
00:11:39,616 --> 00:11:41,549
My list.
268
00:11:44,571 --> 00:11:47,705
Gifts and flowers.
269
00:11:47,740 --> 00:11:49,785
Who do I give
gifts and flowers to?
270
00:11:49,809 --> 00:11:51,276
Me. What?
271
00:11:51,311 --> 00:11:53,010
Well, husbands
don't suddenly start
272
00:11:53,046 --> 00:11:54,846
bringing home gifts and
flowers for no reason.
273
00:11:54,881 --> 00:11:56,359
What do you mean "suddenly"?
274
00:11:56,383 --> 00:11:58,627
I've been doing that since
the first year we were married.
275
00:11:58,651 --> 00:12:01,986
I know. Okay.
276
00:12:02,021 --> 00:12:03,821
I gave you gifts and flowers.
277
00:12:03,856 --> 00:12:05,823
I plead guilty to the charge.
278
00:12:05,858 --> 00:12:07,158
So shoot me.
279
00:12:07,194 --> 00:12:09,994
Howard, by itself, bringing
home gifts and flowers
280
00:12:10,029 --> 00:12:11,496
is no indictment against you.
281
00:12:11,531 --> 00:12:14,499
It's just one of many things.
282
00:12:14,534 --> 00:12:17,001
Let me hear the rest of my sins.
283
00:12:17,036 --> 00:12:19,870
Well, if that's going to be
your attitude, I'd rather not.
284
00:12:19,906 --> 00:12:21,839
Read.
285
00:12:23,376 --> 00:12:25,343
Hair.
286
00:12:25,378 --> 00:12:28,012
Yours, mine or the play?
287
00:12:28,047 --> 00:12:31,349
Yours. You had it styled.
288
00:12:31,384 --> 00:12:34,719
A lot of men have their
hair styled these days.
289
00:12:34,754 --> 00:12:36,020
What are you driving at?
290
00:12:36,055 --> 00:12:37,855
I had it done to
please somebody else?
291
00:12:37,890 --> 00:12:40,303
I liked it the way
it used to be.
292
00:12:40,327 --> 00:12:42,427
I liked it the way
it used to be, too.
293
00:12:42,462 --> 00:12:44,862
But crew cuts went
out with jitterbugging.
294
00:12:44,897 --> 00:12:48,199
Wow, what evidence you're
building against me, whoo!
295
00:12:48,235 --> 00:12:50,034
There's not a jury in the land
296
00:12:50,069 --> 00:12:52,381
that wouldn't convict me
with evidence like that.
297
00:12:52,405 --> 00:12:54,355
What else have you got?
298
00:12:54,391 --> 00:12:57,425
Well, the rest of these
sound sort of silly.
299
00:12:57,477 --> 00:12:59,377
It all sounds silly.
300
00:12:59,412 --> 00:13:01,379
Please.
301
00:13:03,216 --> 00:13:05,011
What does this mean, "work"?
302
00:13:05,035 --> 00:13:08,102
Well, it-it means that
in your line of work,
303
00:13:08,138 --> 00:13:10,138
constant contact
with attractive girls
304
00:13:10,173 --> 00:13:12,051
is unavoidable.
305
00:13:12,075 --> 00:13:13,474
That's the way it is
306
00:13:13,509 --> 00:13:15,805
when you're an advertising
executive in a big office.
307
00:13:15,829 --> 00:13:18,095
Howard, I'm not blaming you.
308
00:13:18,131 --> 00:13:21,833
I know how hard it is to be
around beautiful girls all day,
309
00:13:21,868 --> 00:13:23,618
working late,
310
00:13:23,670 --> 00:13:25,570
taking them out to
lunch and dinner,
311
00:13:25,605 --> 00:13:28,188
and traveling with
them sometimes.
312
00:13:28,225 --> 00:13:30,592
You couldn't help
but be tempted.
313
00:13:30,627 --> 00:13:32,927
All right, I admit
I've been tempted,
314
00:13:32,962 --> 00:13:35,429
but I have never touched
one of the secretaries.
315
00:13:35,482 --> 00:13:38,031
Howard, that's a lie!
316
00:13:38,068 --> 00:13:40,117
What? Name one. Name one!
317
00:13:40,153 --> 00:13:41,119
Me!
318
00:13:41,154 --> 00:13:42,419
All right, I'll amend it.
319
00:13:42,455 --> 00:13:44,133
I've never touched
one of the secretaries
320
00:13:44,157 --> 00:13:45,251
without marrying her.
321
00:13:45,275 --> 00:13:47,819
Oh, boy, I can't believe you.
322
00:13:47,843 --> 00:13:50,289
Oh, do you fit the
pattern perfectly.
323
00:13:50,313 --> 00:13:52,346
The diet, the gifts,
324
00:13:52,382 --> 00:13:54,192
the air of innocence,
the denial of guilt.
325
00:13:54,216 --> 00:13:55,516
It's all there.
326
00:13:55,551 --> 00:13:57,195
It's right there in Chapter 7.
327
00:13:57,219 --> 00:13:59,219
All right, let me
give you Chapter 8.
328
00:13:59,255 --> 00:14:00,521
I'm getting out of here.
329
00:14:00,556 --> 00:14:01,684
Howard!
330
00:14:01,708 --> 00:14:04,242
Yeah, and Chapter 9:
331
00:14:04,277 --> 00:14:06,944
"The Accused Commits the Crime."
332
00:14:47,220 --> 00:14:49,298
Oh, yes, a-a scotch and soda.
333
00:14:49,322 --> 00:14:51,022
All right.
334
00:15:04,654 --> 00:15:06,253
Looking for a little action?
335
00:15:06,289 --> 00:15:07,521
No.
336
00:15:07,557 --> 00:15:08,968
No, I-I don't think so.
337
00:15:08,992 --> 00:15:10,391
Sir?
338
00:15:10,443 --> 00:15:12,043
Hmm?
339
00:15:12,078 --> 00:15:13,244
Why did you say that?
340
00:15:13,280 --> 00:15:15,829
That.
341
00:15:15,865 --> 00:15:18,144
Oh.
342
00:15:18,168 --> 00:15:20,134
The girls call them
cheater marks.
343
00:15:20,170 --> 00:15:22,719
Yeah? Thanks for the folklore.
344
00:15:22,756 --> 00:15:25,156
Look, I'm not trying
to judge you, pal.
345
00:15:25,191 --> 00:15:26,523
I'm married myself.
346
00:15:26,559 --> 00:15:28,092
I know how it is.
347
00:15:28,128 --> 00:15:29,727
A man has certain needs.
348
00:15:29,763 --> 00:15:32,296
It's only normal.
349
00:15:32,331 --> 00:15:34,944
Yeah, well, maybe I am
looking for a little action.
350
00:15:34,968 --> 00:15:37,101
You should have
been here last night.
351
00:15:38,671 --> 00:15:40,638
Ooh, hee.
352
00:16:00,443 --> 00:16:01,675
Buy her a drink.
353
00:16:01,711 --> 00:16:03,210
Don't tell her who it's from.
354
00:16:08,317 --> 00:16:10,685
A gentleman would
like to buy you a drink.
355
00:16:10,720 --> 00:16:11,997
Oh, how nice. Who?
356
00:16:12,021 --> 00:16:13,833
Mm. Well, I'm
not at liberty to...
357
00:16:15,024 --> 00:16:16,635
All right, scotch
and water then.
358
00:16:16,659 --> 00:16:17,859
Okeydokey.
359
00:16:18,928 --> 00:16:20,260
Better make your move, pal.
360
00:16:20,296 --> 00:16:22,262
She won't last long.
361
00:16:30,907 --> 00:16:32,117
Oh. Hi.
362
00:16:32,141 --> 00:16:33,307
Is this from you?
363
00:16:33,342 --> 00:16:34,975
Uh, yeah.
364
00:16:35,010 --> 00:16:37,570
You want something?
365
00:16:38,614 --> 00:16:40,681
No.
366
00:16:40,716 --> 00:16:42,783
No.
367
00:16:45,922 --> 00:16:47,855
You're too slow off the mark.
368
00:16:53,930 --> 00:16:56,196
Give her another of
whatever she's having.
369
00:16:56,232 --> 00:16:58,315
Uh, tell her it's from me.
370
00:16:58,351 --> 00:17:00,100
I feel like John Alden.
371
00:17:00,136 --> 00:17:02,069
Yeah.
372
00:17:06,693 --> 00:17:08,259
From that gentleman.
373
00:17:31,000 --> 00:17:32,967
Ooh.
374
00:17:35,538 --> 00:17:37,171
Must have been that last one.
375
00:17:37,207 --> 00:17:39,207
Yeah. Uh, here.
376
00:17:39,242 --> 00:17:42,043
I, uh... I feel sort
of responsible.
377
00:17:42,078 --> 00:17:43,889
Oh, that's all right.
378
00:17:43,913 --> 00:17:46,647
I mean, she-she sleeps
it off in the ladies room.
379
00:17:46,682 --> 00:17:48,615
Almost every night.
380
00:17:53,589 --> 00:17:55,589
Hmm.
381
00:17:58,094 --> 00:17:59,939
Oh, I don't want another drink.
382
00:17:59,963 --> 00:18:01,295
Someone sent it.
383
00:18:01,331 --> 00:18:02,713
Man or a woman?
384
00:18:02,749 --> 00:18:04,297
A woman.
385
00:18:04,334 --> 00:18:05,966
Well, that's something.
386
00:18:06,002 --> 00:18:08,001
She's trying to say hello.
387
00:18:15,011 --> 00:18:16,393
She'd like you to join her.
388
00:18:16,429 --> 00:18:18,495
No.
389
00:18:18,531 --> 00:18:20,514
Uh, tell her I...
I don't think so.
390
00:18:20,550 --> 00:18:22,449
Wait a minute.
391
00:18:37,484 --> 00:18:38,766
Hi.
392
00:18:38,818 --> 00:18:39,533
Hi.
393
00:18:39,569 --> 00:18:41,285
Uh, thanks for the, uh...
394
00:18:41,321 --> 00:18:43,470
Oh, you're welcome.
395
00:18:46,642 --> 00:18:48,620
Why don't you sit down?
396
00:18:48,644 --> 00:18:49,843
Oh, oh.
397
00:18:51,146 --> 00:18:53,313
I usually don't do
this sort of thing.
398
00:18:53,348 --> 00:18:54,682
What sort of thing?
399
00:18:54,717 --> 00:18:57,084
Oh, come to places
like this alone.
400
00:18:57,137 --> 00:18:59,504
I do. All the time.
401
00:18:59,539 --> 00:19:00,922
This place really swings.
402
00:19:00,974 --> 00:19:02,739
Yeah, I heard.
403
00:19:02,775 --> 00:19:05,676
Yeah, I'll, uh... have to
bring my wife in sometime.
404
00:19:05,711 --> 00:19:06,944
I'm married.
405
00:19:06,980 --> 00:19:09,213
Yeah, I saw your ring.
406
00:19:09,248 --> 00:19:12,016
Listen, I don't hold
that against anybody.
407
00:19:12,051 --> 00:19:13,617
I'm married, too.
408
00:19:13,652 --> 00:19:15,552
That's why I'm here alone.
409
00:19:17,290 --> 00:19:20,124
Well, I, uh, didn't want
you to get the wrong idea.
410
00:19:20,160 --> 00:19:21,626
I just came in for a nightcap.
411
00:19:21,661 --> 00:19:22,888
Yeah.
412
00:19:22,912 --> 00:19:25,813
So did I. At 8:00.
413
00:19:30,503 --> 00:19:32,820
Do you mind if I ask
you a personal question?
414
00:19:32,872 --> 00:19:34,266
How personal?
415
00:19:34,290 --> 00:19:36,824
How come you're not
wearing any socks?
416
00:19:37,510 --> 00:19:38,976
Oh, that.
417
00:19:39,012 --> 00:19:40,144
Uh...
418
00:19:41,347 --> 00:19:42,546
Well, you see...
419
00:19:42,581 --> 00:19:43,859
You had a fight, right?
420
00:19:43,883 --> 00:19:45,244
Huh? Your wife?
421
00:19:45,268 --> 00:19:46,800
And you rushed out of the house,
422
00:19:46,835 --> 00:19:48,581
and you forgot to
put your socks on.
423
00:19:50,523 --> 00:19:53,190
What did you fight about?
424
00:19:53,226 --> 00:19:56,338
Listen, you don't have to
tell me if you don't want to.
425
00:20:00,299 --> 00:20:01,765
Other women.
426
00:20:02,935 --> 00:20:06,753
Well... let me buy
you another drink.
427
00:20:06,789 --> 00:20:08,400
It isn't that she
has any reason.
428
00:20:08,424 --> 00:20:09,790
I mean, I don't play around.
429
00:20:09,825 --> 00:20:12,304
She has no reason to
be sore at me for anything.
430
00:20:12,328 --> 00:20:14,195
Oh, boy.
431
00:20:14,230 --> 00:20:16,141
I wouldn't want
to live with you.
432
00:20:16,165 --> 00:20:18,231
Oh, I'm not trying
to say I'm perfect.
433
00:20:18,267 --> 00:20:20,311
Well, what are
you trying to say?
434
00:20:20,335 --> 00:20:21,885
Look, why don't you
435
00:20:21,921 --> 00:20:23,320
give the kid a break?
436
00:20:23,355 --> 00:20:26,690
Give her a reason to feel
that she's better than you.
437
00:20:26,726 --> 00:20:29,776
Once in a while, do something
really lowdown and lousy.
438
00:20:29,812 --> 00:20:31,478
Like what?
439
00:20:31,514 --> 00:20:34,148
I don't know, but if you
want to start tonight,
440
00:20:34,183 --> 00:20:35,916
I'd be glad to help.
441
00:20:37,920 --> 00:20:39,353
Oh. Wow.
442
00:20:39,389 --> 00:20:40,521
Thanks, uh, but, um...
443
00:20:40,556 --> 00:20:42,334
Forget it.
444
00:20:42,358 --> 00:20:44,169
I just figured it
was worth a try.
445
00:20:44,193 --> 00:20:48,361
Listen, what's a
nice kid like you
446
00:20:48,397 --> 00:20:49,641
doing in a place like this?
447
00:20:49,665 --> 00:20:50,976
You don't belong here.
448
00:20:51,000 --> 00:20:52,316
Go home.
449
00:20:54,353 --> 00:20:56,086
Yeah.
450
00:20:56,122 --> 00:20:58,089
Thanks.
451
00:20:58,124 --> 00:21:00,190
You're welcome.
452
00:21:00,226 --> 00:21:01,725
You know,
453
00:21:01,761 --> 00:21:03,505
you're lucky you
ended up with me
454
00:21:03,529 --> 00:21:04,762
instead of the first girl.
455
00:21:04,797 --> 00:21:06,797
With her, you might
have been tempted.
456
00:21:38,147 --> 00:21:40,614
Did you have a nice time?
457
00:21:42,785 --> 00:21:46,120
What kind of question is that?
458
00:21:46,155 --> 00:21:49,022
I just asked if you
had a nice time.
459
00:21:49,058 --> 00:21:51,058
Yeah, I guess so.
460
00:21:51,093 --> 00:21:52,359
You did?
461
00:21:52,394 --> 00:21:54,061
Not really.
462
00:21:54,096 --> 00:21:56,129
Oh.
463
00:21:56,165 --> 00:21:59,266
Do you feel like
talking about it?
464
00:21:59,301 --> 00:22:01,334
No.
465
00:22:04,957 --> 00:22:07,374
If you must know,
I didn't do anything.
466
00:22:09,028 --> 00:22:11,056
Nothing any other
man wouldn't do.
467
00:22:13,533 --> 00:22:15,465
Honey, I thought you
said this was something
468
00:22:15,501 --> 00:22:17,200
you were going
to learn to accept.
469
00:22:17,236 --> 00:22:19,148
I didn't say I'd
gotten good at it yet.
470
00:22:19,172 --> 00:22:22,906
I guess I'm just
not a modern wife.
471
00:22:22,941 --> 00:22:25,742
I can't stand the
thought of you with...
472
00:22:25,778 --> 00:22:28,879
Oh, even though
it is all my fault.
473
00:22:28,914 --> 00:22:32,916
I wish I'd never heard
of that dumb course.
474
00:22:32,951 --> 00:22:34,818
Give it up.
475
00:22:34,853 --> 00:22:37,688
I can't give it up unless
you give them up.
476
00:22:39,225 --> 00:22:40,674
It's a deal.
477
00:22:40,727 --> 00:22:43,260
You really mean it?
478
00:22:43,295 --> 00:22:44,528
Uh-huh.
479
00:22:44,563 --> 00:22:47,042
But it'll be so hard for you,
480
00:22:47,066 --> 00:22:50,234
having all those
temptations and everything.
481
00:22:50,269 --> 00:22:52,369
I know.
482
00:22:52,404 --> 00:22:54,817
But you'll be willing to try?
483
00:22:54,841 --> 00:22:59,110
I'd do anything to
make our marriage work.
484
00:22:59,145 --> 00:23:01,145
Anything.
485
00:23:09,355 --> 00:23:11,222
Can you forgive me?
486
00:23:11,257 --> 00:23:14,058
Oh, of course I forgive you.
487
00:23:16,596 --> 00:23:18,941
I wonder if there's
any room left
488
00:23:18,965 --> 00:23:21,565
in that bookbinding class.
489
00:23:41,070 --> 00:23:42,569
Lamar?
490
00:23:42,604 --> 00:23:45,339
Lamar, are you nervous
about my husband catching us?
491
00:23:45,374 --> 00:23:47,308
Of course not.
492
00:24:07,212 --> 00:24:09,412
It was a marvelous
party, wasn't it, Daphne?
493
00:24:09,448 --> 00:24:10,592
I'm exhausted.
494
00:24:10,616 --> 00:24:12,160
Great crowd. Marvelous.
495
00:24:12,184 --> 00:24:13,328
Dorothy looked wonderful.
496
00:24:13,352 --> 00:24:14,896
I mean, she really looked great.
497
00:24:14,920 --> 00:24:16,654
Listen, I don't
care what you say.
498
00:24:16,689 --> 00:24:18,355
You've got to hand it to her.
499
00:24:18,390 --> 00:24:19,957
She doesn't look 43.
500
00:24:19,992 --> 00:24:22,126
Even up close.
501
00:24:22,161 --> 00:24:24,227
She had a little
face-lift, you know.
502
00:24:24,263 --> 00:24:25,540
What's a little face-lift?
503
00:24:25,564 --> 00:24:27,497
Well, they just
take a little tuck
504
00:24:27,533 --> 00:24:28,866
in front of each ear.
505
00:24:28,901 --> 00:24:30,028
Oh.
506
00:24:30,052 --> 00:24:32,553
I mean, it's not
a major face-lift.
507
00:24:32,588 --> 00:24:34,087
It's just a little tuck.
508
00:24:34,122 --> 00:24:36,557
Of course, it's still a lift.
509
00:24:36,592 --> 00:24:38,792
Well, who needs
that kind of vanity?
510
00:24:38,845 --> 00:24:41,745
I mean, why can't people
be what they are, you know?
511
00:24:41,780 --> 00:24:43,147
Of course.
512
00:24:43,182 --> 00:24:44,481
Philip looked great.
513
00:24:44,516 --> 00:24:45,883
Great suntan.
514
00:24:45,918 --> 00:24:47,351
Have they been to Bermuda?
515
00:24:47,386 --> 00:24:48,580
Darling,
516
00:24:48,604 --> 00:24:50,204
that's a sun lamp.
517
00:24:50,239 --> 00:24:51,771
Of course, you're right.
518
00:24:51,824 --> 00:24:53,535
How could they
have gone anyplace?
519
00:24:53,559 --> 00:24:55,170
He's been out of
work for eight months.
520
00:24:55,194 --> 00:24:59,296
Sitting under a sunlamp.
521
00:24:59,331 --> 00:25:01,081
You know, it was a big party.
522
00:25:01,116 --> 00:25:03,149
Yes, bigger than I'd expected.
523
00:25:03,185 --> 00:25:05,518
You know, I was surprised
to see Eddie Stran there.
524
00:25:05,554 --> 00:25:08,506
I thought he always
hated those charity affairs.
525
00:25:08,541 --> 00:25:11,542
Well, he has to go because
he needs it for a tax write-off.
526
00:25:11,577 --> 00:25:13,577
Mmm, I thought I'd die
527
00:25:13,613 --> 00:25:16,046
when I saw the Smiths
tooling up in that Rolls.
528
00:25:16,081 --> 00:25:19,816
Their station wagon was
repossessed two months ago.
529
00:25:19,852 --> 00:25:21,818
A Rolls and a chauffeur.
530
00:25:21,854 --> 00:25:24,220
Oh, he's not really a chauffeur.
531
00:25:24,256 --> 00:25:26,924
That's a foreign exchange
student from Ceylon.
532
00:25:26,959 --> 00:25:28,642
He boards with them.
533
00:25:28,677 --> 00:25:31,645
I guess pretense means
a lot to some people.
534
00:25:31,680 --> 00:25:34,365
Like the Fetchmores.
535
00:25:34,400 --> 00:25:37,033
You know, Poot Reese said
536
00:25:37,069 --> 00:25:40,203
they were going to build an
indoor/outdoor swimming pool.
537
00:25:40,239 --> 00:25:42,939
Oh, Lord knows where
they'll get the money.
538
00:25:42,975 --> 00:25:45,242
They already owe
all the tradespeople.
539
00:25:45,277 --> 00:25:47,689
Well, now they'll
owe the pool people.
540
00:25:47,713 --> 00:25:50,046
Yes. Darling?
541
00:25:52,418 --> 00:25:54,718
You know, if I hear
Pang and Z.G. Turner
542
00:25:54,754 --> 00:25:56,631
talk about someplace
they've been
543
00:25:56,655 --> 00:25:58,806
for a weekend again,
I'm going to throw up.
544
00:25:58,841 --> 00:26:01,008
I guess he forgets that we know
545
00:26:01,043 --> 00:26:02,487
he used to work for the airlines
546
00:26:02,511 --> 00:26:05,729
before his second
marriage and he's got a pass.
547
00:26:05,764 --> 00:26:08,232
I mean, who wouldn't want
to go to Africa for the weekend
548
00:26:08,267 --> 00:26:10,701
if you get there for $15?
549
00:26:12,805 --> 00:26:15,272
Who do they think
they're impressing?
550
00:26:17,192 --> 00:26:18,993
I hate that sort of thing.
551
00:26:19,028 --> 00:26:20,961
It's so inauthentic.
552
00:26:20,997 --> 00:26:24,264
It's incredible the way some
people behave, you know?
553
00:26:24,300 --> 00:26:27,334
Did you get a chance to talk
to Freddie and May Hudson?
554
00:26:27,370 --> 00:26:30,371
No, they were so busy
snowing his new boss.
555
00:26:34,793 --> 00:26:37,927
Freddie told me that
they'd gotten a new Picasso
556
00:26:37,963 --> 00:26:40,497
and a Jackson Pollock.
557
00:26:40,532 --> 00:26:41,848
Can you imagine that?
558
00:26:41,884 --> 00:26:45,197
Darling, they can rent
those by the month.
559
00:26:45,221 --> 00:26:46,986
Lots of people do it.
560
00:26:47,022 --> 00:26:48,973
Really? Of course.
561
00:26:49,008 --> 00:26:51,041
I noticed you were talking
562
00:26:51,077 --> 00:26:53,010
to Hans Bremag before we left.
563
00:26:53,045 --> 00:26:55,112
I didn't get a chance
to. What's he doing?
564
00:26:55,147 --> 00:26:56,447
Is Hans a Phi Beta Kappa?
565
00:26:56,482 --> 00:26:58,349
I doubt it.
566
00:26:58,384 --> 00:27:00,768
Well, he was wearing
a Phi Beta Kappa key.
567
00:27:00,820 --> 00:27:02,569
Probably borrowed it.
568
00:27:02,622 --> 00:27:06,790
Can you beat that?
569
00:27:06,826 --> 00:27:08,258
Probably figured nobody'd know,
570
00:27:08,293 --> 00:27:09,927
but did you see anybody give him
571
00:27:09,962 --> 00:27:11,962
the fraternity high
sign or handshake?
572
00:27:11,998 --> 00:27:14,798
Oh, what a faker.
573
00:27:14,834 --> 00:27:17,584
I don't understand 'em.
574
00:27:17,637 --> 00:27:19,553
Who, darling?
575
00:27:19,588 --> 00:27:23,123
I don't understand any of them.
576
00:27:23,158 --> 00:27:26,109
They're all a bunch of phonies.
577
00:27:26,145 --> 00:27:30,213
Oh, Beau, we are so lucky.
578
00:27:30,249 --> 00:27:32,716
You're right, Daph.
579
00:27:32,752 --> 00:27:33,795
Wouldn't it be awful
580
00:27:33,819 --> 00:27:35,998
if we needed phonies
like all of them?
581
00:27:36,022 --> 00:27:37,487
But we don't need anybody, Daph.
582
00:27:37,523 --> 00:27:39,023
Like you said, "We're lucky."
583
00:27:39,058 --> 00:27:40,323
We've got us.
584
00:27:42,762 --> 00:27:45,362
But what gets me,
what really gets me
585
00:27:45,397 --> 00:27:47,297
is why the devil
586
00:27:47,332 --> 00:27:50,500
people are so afraid of
just being themselves?
587
00:27:50,536 --> 00:27:52,670
Know what I mean?
588
00:27:52,705 --> 00:27:54,638
Mm-hmm.
589
00:28:06,151 --> 00:28:08,051
Buzz, I always knew
you were cheap,
590
00:28:08,087 --> 00:28:09,530
but when you said,
"Let's have a drink
591
00:28:09,554 --> 00:28:11,588
to celebrate our
wedding anniversary."
592
00:28:36,348 --> 00:28:38,159
And now the story of a marriage
593
00:28:38,183 --> 00:28:39,827
a young husband
couldn't talk about
594
00:28:39,851 --> 00:28:41,618
and his wife didn't know about.
595
00:28:56,918 --> 00:28:58,663
Well, are you going to write
596
00:28:58,687 --> 00:28:59,915
your Congressman or aren't you?
597
00:28:59,939 --> 00:29:01,972
What for?
598
00:29:02,007 --> 00:29:03,473
He never writes to me.
599
00:29:04,577 --> 00:29:06,493
Hey, that's a nice slip.
600
00:29:06,529 --> 00:29:08,194
Oh, come inside.
601
00:29:08,230 --> 00:29:09,808
Do you want
everybody staring at me?
602
00:29:09,832 --> 00:29:11,698
Oh, mi amour.
603
00:29:11,733 --> 00:29:14,434
Que bonita, que bonita.
604
00:29:14,469 --> 00:29:17,603
And who's K. Bonita?
605
00:29:17,639 --> 00:29:19,439
Who is K. Bonita? Mm-hmm.
606
00:29:19,474 --> 00:29:22,008
That's you. Ooh.
607
00:29:22,044 --> 00:29:23,788
I guess what I really mean is,
608
00:29:23,812 --> 00:29:27,013
of all the roommates
I've ever had,
609
00:29:27,049 --> 00:29:29,782
you rate in the top ten.
610
00:29:29,818 --> 00:29:31,284
Really? Mmm.
611
00:29:31,320 --> 00:29:35,088
Well, the Amalgamated
Commercial Bank of North America
612
00:29:35,123 --> 00:29:38,892
does not think
that I rate so high.
613
00:29:38,927 --> 00:29:41,627
They won't give us a
loan to buy a car together.
614
00:29:41,663 --> 00:29:45,465
According to their
19th century standards,
615
00:29:45,500 --> 00:29:48,801
unmarried couples
are a financial risk.
616
00:29:48,837 --> 00:29:51,338
Kath, those are 20th
century standards
617
00:29:51,373 --> 00:29:53,974
and you owe the
library another 50 cents.
618
00:29:54,009 --> 00:29:56,187
Well, aren't you going to
do something about this?
619
00:29:56,211 --> 00:29:58,745
Quite frankly, I'm more
concerned about studying
620
00:29:58,780 --> 00:30:01,414
for tomorrow's Brazilian
Geopolitics final.
621
00:30:01,449 --> 00:30:05,118
Well, if you're not
concerned about having
622
00:30:05,153 --> 00:30:07,332
your entire way
of life ridiculed,
623
00:30:07,356 --> 00:30:08,532
that's your affair,
624
00:30:08,556 --> 00:30:11,657
but I'm going to do
something about it.
625
00:30:11,693 --> 00:30:13,026
Do me a favor.
626
00:30:13,061 --> 00:30:15,262
Don't start a crusade
with the bank, huh?
627
00:30:15,297 --> 00:30:17,464
But it's not fair.
628
00:30:17,516 --> 00:30:20,183
I mean, why should
we have to get married
629
00:30:20,219 --> 00:30:21,963
and spoil a perfect relationship
630
00:30:21,987 --> 00:30:24,921
just to get a
good credit rating?
631
00:30:24,956 --> 00:30:27,124
Hey, listen.
632
00:30:27,159 --> 00:30:30,093
I just got a groovy idea. What?
633
00:30:30,129 --> 00:30:32,813
After finals, why don't
we take another trip
634
00:30:32,865 --> 00:30:34,380
down to Mexico?
635
00:30:34,416 --> 00:30:36,460
We can go back to that
little town up in the mountains
636
00:30:36,484 --> 00:30:37,596
like we did last Easter.
637
00:30:37,620 --> 00:30:39,397
What will we do in Mexico?
638
00:30:39,421 --> 00:30:42,855
I want to take you
through customs again.
639
00:30:42,891 --> 00:30:45,758
Thanks. Twice was enough.
640
00:30:45,794 --> 00:30:47,939
Hmm, not the way I
go through customs.
641
00:30:50,582 --> 00:30:53,984
All right, I'll take my shower.
642
00:30:54,019 --> 00:30:56,720
Start packing. We're
going to Mexico.
643
00:30:56,755 --> 00:30:59,066
Well, where are we
going to get a car?
644
00:30:59,090 --> 00:31:01,625
I'll get the car. You
just open dinner.
645
00:31:03,361 --> 00:31:06,496
Don't you dare go to
that bank and lie about us.
646
00:31:06,532 --> 00:31:09,666
I'm not your wife, and I
don't care who knows it.
647
00:31:14,172 --> 00:31:16,150
Mom! Dad! What
are you doing here?
648
00:31:16,174 --> 00:31:18,274
All right, where is
he? Where is who?
649
00:31:18,309 --> 00:31:20,243
Who? T. Hurst, that's who!
650
00:31:20,278 --> 00:31:23,180
The other name on the
mailbox for the world to see.
651
00:31:23,215 --> 00:31:26,460
Now, where is he? Well, how do you
know the "T" doesn't stand for "Tammy"...
652
00:31:26,484 --> 00:31:29,419
Your cousin Joan talked, dear.
The "T" stands for "trouble."
653
00:31:29,454 --> 00:31:31,983
Oh, I never should've
told her, that fink!
654
00:31:32,007 --> 00:31:34,857
Where's the "T" fink?
That's what I want to know.
655
00:31:34,894 --> 00:31:36,994
How many times
do I have to tell you?
656
00:31:37,029 --> 00:31:39,078
You know I can't hear you
when the water's running.
657
00:31:47,072 --> 00:31:50,107
Tim... these are my parents.
658
00:31:57,166 --> 00:31:59,215
In your shower?
659
00:31:59,251 --> 00:32:01,535
It's his shower,
too. He lives here.
660
00:32:01,587 --> 00:32:02,819
Katie!
661
00:32:02,854 --> 00:32:04,699
Do you mean to
stand there and tell me
662
00:32:04,723 --> 00:32:08,225
that you're living
with... with... Bubbles?
663
00:32:08,260 --> 00:32:09,826
I'm not ashamed of it.
664
00:32:09,862 --> 00:32:12,262
We love each other,
and so we live together,
665
00:32:12,297 --> 00:32:14,408
like millions of other
kids are doing today.
666
00:32:14,432 --> 00:32:16,995
Well, it's really a very
simple arrangement.
667
00:32:17,019 --> 00:32:18,947
Well, I'm about to
complicate the heck out of it!
668
00:32:18,971 --> 00:32:20,603
Don't you touch him, Daddy!
669
00:32:20,638 --> 00:32:22,616
Owen, you promised,
no bloodshed!
670
00:32:22,640 --> 00:32:25,241
Before anything else is
said, I want you to know
671
00:32:25,277 --> 00:32:26,821
I love your daughter very much.
672
00:32:26,845 --> 00:32:29,579
I'll give you love, you
pimple-faced Casanova.
673
00:32:29,615 --> 00:32:32,298
When I get through with you, you
won't be able to romance a duck!
674
00:32:33,569 --> 00:32:34,913
Why don't you introduce us all,
675
00:32:34,937 --> 00:32:37,497
so your father can yell
at the boy by name?
676
00:32:40,509 --> 00:32:42,520
Timothy Hurst.
677
00:32:42,544 --> 00:32:46,012
Tim, this is my
mother, my father.
678
00:32:46,048 --> 00:32:48,448
I hope you didn't get
the wrong idea, sir.
679
00:32:48,500 --> 00:32:49,799
What?
680
00:32:49,834 --> 00:32:51,634
Living together was my idea.
681
00:32:51,669 --> 00:32:53,865
Well, he's going to pay for it.
682
00:32:53,889 --> 00:32:55,856
Sir, I think we better
step into the next room.
683
00:32:55,891 --> 00:32:58,035
Don't you threaten me, you
punk. No, you don't understand.
684
00:32:58,059 --> 00:32:59,371
There's something
we have to discuss.
685
00:32:59,395 --> 00:33:00,938
Don't try to reason
with him, Tim.
686
00:33:00,962 --> 00:33:02,540
He still lives in the Stone Age.
687
00:33:02,564 --> 00:33:05,064
He doesn't understand
there's a new morality.
688
00:33:05,100 --> 00:33:07,233
That today, when
people love each other,
689
00:33:07,269 --> 00:33:10,103
they just live together
and let their love grow free
690
00:33:10,155 --> 00:33:11,287
like wildflowers.
691
00:33:11,322 --> 00:33:13,534
You call it wildflowers;
I call it wild oats!
692
00:33:13,558 --> 00:33:15,236
Pack your things.
I'm taking you home!
693
00:33:15,260 --> 00:33:16,660
You're not taking me anywhere.
694
00:33:16,695 --> 00:33:19,391
I'm of age, and I'll do
whatever I damn well please.
695
00:33:19,415 --> 00:33:21,343
Now, Kat, don't curse at your
father. I don't need anyone
696
00:33:21,367 --> 00:33:23,110
to protect me from
my own daughter,
697
00:33:23,134 --> 00:33:24,601
especially not her seducer!
698
00:33:24,636 --> 00:33:28,621
Now, everybody just
hang loose for a minute!
699
00:33:28,674 --> 00:33:32,408
Now, why don't
we all just sit back
700
00:33:32,443 --> 00:33:34,527
and let the feathers settle.
701
00:33:36,682 --> 00:33:40,500
Katherine, how about
a nice cool drink?
702
00:33:41,970 --> 00:33:44,637
Uh, we're not old enough
to buy liquor, ma'am.
703
00:33:44,673 --> 00:33:47,690
But we've got some
great muscatel.
704
00:33:49,010 --> 00:33:50,788
Here, let me. I'm the host.
705
00:33:50,812 --> 00:33:52,257
They're my parents.
I'll handle them.
706
00:33:52,281 --> 00:33:54,180
Now, you just run
along to the library
707
00:33:54,215 --> 00:33:56,694
and study for your finals. Go
to the library? Are you crazy?
708
00:33:56,718 --> 00:33:59,419
You think I'm gonna run
out on you at a time like this?
709
00:33:59,455 --> 00:34:01,621
But we're not
supposed to get involved
710
00:34:01,657 --> 00:34:03,623
in each other's
personal affairs.
711
00:34:03,659 --> 00:34:05,770
Look, this whole thing
has gone far enough.
712
00:34:05,794 --> 00:34:07,272
I'm gonna do something...
713
00:34:07,296 --> 00:34:10,475
How does one get... Just
plow right through, Mrs. Walker.
714
00:34:10,499 --> 00:34:13,132
Kathy, your father
needs time to realize
715
00:34:13,168 --> 00:34:16,903
today wasn't Pearl Harbor and he
doesn't have to mobilize the country.
716
00:34:16,938 --> 00:34:20,039
So why don't you and
Timothy be our guests
717
00:34:20,074 --> 00:34:21,441
at a quiet dinner somewhere
718
00:34:21,476 --> 00:34:24,844
where everyone can unwind
and get to know the enemy?
719
00:34:24,879 --> 00:34:27,514
Well-well, that's very
gracious of you, Mrs. Walker.
720
00:34:27,549 --> 00:34:28,848
Isn't it, Kat?
721
00:34:28,883 --> 00:34:31,184
We'd be delighted to
have dinner with you.
722
00:34:31,219 --> 00:34:33,570
But will you please
let us take you out?
723
00:34:33,605 --> 00:34:36,556
Probably be the first decent
meal they've had in a year.
724
00:34:36,591 --> 00:34:37,923
Well, that'll make it easier
725
00:34:37,959 --> 00:34:40,627
to talk them into a
nice, simple marriage if...
726
00:34:40,662 --> 00:34:41,994
If what?
727
00:34:42,030 --> 00:34:44,897
If you keep your foot out
of your mouth until dessert.
728
00:34:44,932 --> 00:34:49,735
Edith, how could I ever live
without your charming wit?
729
00:34:49,771 --> 00:34:51,971
Interesting idea.
730
00:34:53,926 --> 00:34:56,437
And if we can show them
that we're doing okay,
731
00:34:56,461 --> 00:35:00,463
that we really love each other,
maybe they'll see it our way.
732
00:35:00,498 --> 00:35:02,933
That's clever, but, uh
733
00:35:02,968 --> 00:35:06,469
where are we gonna
feed them on $5.85?
734
00:35:06,504 --> 00:35:08,482
Mexicali Rose's?
735
00:35:08,506 --> 00:35:10,440
Mexicali Rose's!
736
00:35:10,475 --> 00:35:14,010
My father will get heartburn
just walking in the door.
737
00:35:14,045 --> 00:35:15,879
This will stick to your ribs.
738
00:35:15,914 --> 00:35:17,459
Vamos...
739
00:35:17,483 --> 00:35:20,333
Looks like it's gonna
stick to the plate.
740
00:35:20,369 --> 00:35:22,079
You know, Mexicans really are
741
00:35:22,103 --> 00:35:24,349
the most incredibly,
uh, sturdy people.
742
00:35:24,373 --> 00:35:25,839
Yes, they are, but...
743
00:35:25,874 --> 00:35:28,341
they get so caught
up in their bureaucracy.
744
00:35:28,377 --> 00:35:30,443
I mean, do you realize
that last semester,
745
00:35:30,479 --> 00:35:32,278
when Tim and I went down there,
746
00:35:32,313 --> 00:35:35,615
they actually made us
go through customs twice?
747
00:35:35,667 --> 00:35:38,363
Mm, what a charming custom.
748
00:35:38,387 --> 00:35:40,987
Aren't we a
civilized little group.
749
00:35:41,022 --> 00:35:42,722
Sitting here chatting pleasantly
750
00:35:42,758 --> 00:35:45,641
about my daughter's
trip with her gigolo.
751
00:35:45,677 --> 00:35:50,229
I'm hardly a gigolo,
sir. I can't even dance.
752
00:35:50,265 --> 00:35:52,632
I thought this was
going to be a nice dinner.
753
00:35:52,684 --> 00:35:53,749
It is, dear.
754
00:35:53,785 --> 00:35:55,051
And like nice people,
755
00:35:55,086 --> 00:35:58,288
we're going to resolve
this dilemma in a nice way.
756
00:35:58,323 --> 00:36:01,052
You're not going to break us up.
757
00:36:01,076 --> 00:36:02,609
We wouldn't think of it.
758
00:36:02,644 --> 00:36:05,211
You two are obviously
very much in love.
759
00:36:05,247 --> 00:36:07,391
Yes, we are. Very much.
760
00:36:07,415 --> 00:36:11,417
So all we need to send
everybody home smiling and happy
761
00:36:11,453 --> 00:36:14,754
is for you two to make a
slight technical adjustment
762
00:36:14,789 --> 00:36:17,757
and just, uh... Get married.
763
00:36:17,792 --> 00:36:19,893
We'd rather die!
764
00:36:19,928 --> 00:36:21,994
Marriage would stifle our love
765
00:36:22,030 --> 00:36:25,264
by squeezing it out of
us like tax payments.
766
00:36:26,685 --> 00:36:28,396
We swore never to get married.
767
00:36:28,420 --> 00:36:29,686
Didn't we, Tim?
768
00:36:29,721 --> 00:36:31,866
Yes, well, you see,
the idea behind that
769
00:36:31,890 --> 00:36:36,676
was that we wanted to be free to love
voluntarily and not because we had to.
770
00:36:36,728 --> 00:36:39,039
You mean the idea
was to have your laughs,
771
00:36:39,063 --> 00:36:41,342
and then when you
got tired of each other,
772
00:36:41,366 --> 00:36:43,545
to move on to greener pastures.
773
00:36:43,569 --> 00:36:45,268
Just because you and Mother
774
00:36:45,303 --> 00:36:48,421
took the safe, easy,
conventional way out...
775
00:36:48,457 --> 00:36:50,423
Katherine! No, Miss Wiseacre,
776
00:36:50,459 --> 00:36:53,092
we went through a
long, searching process
777
00:36:53,127 --> 00:36:55,128
to discover what love was.
778
00:36:55,163 --> 00:36:58,142
And after a lot of
give-and-take, we found it.
779
00:36:58,166 --> 00:37:01,534
Do I have to get married just
to prove that I've found love?
780
00:37:01,587 --> 00:37:03,319
No. What you have now
781
00:37:03,354 --> 00:37:06,389
is one foot out the
door waiting to buzz off
782
00:37:06,424 --> 00:37:08,775
the minute your wildflower gets
783
00:37:08,810 --> 00:37:11,377
a little brown around the edges.
784
00:37:11,413 --> 00:37:12,729
Oh, Mother,
785
00:37:12,764 --> 00:37:16,615
how could you put up
with this all these years?
786
00:37:17,903 --> 00:37:18,903
He's choking.
787
00:37:20,188 --> 00:37:22,155
Dear, get some
water. Daddy! Help!
788
00:37:22,190 --> 00:37:24,623
There's a remedy. Here.
789
00:37:24,659 --> 00:37:26,092
Hold his head back.
790
00:37:32,918 --> 00:37:35,451
Oh!
791
00:37:35,486 --> 00:37:38,521
Oh. Oh, he's only
choking. He's all right.
792
00:37:40,842 --> 00:37:43,626
There's even
enough left for coffee.
793
00:37:50,018 --> 00:37:51,317
Good as new.
794
00:37:51,352 --> 00:37:53,064
I told you I can
get them cleaned.
795
00:37:53,088 --> 00:37:55,722
Well... that's lovely.
796
00:37:55,774 --> 00:37:57,057
Yes.
797
00:37:57,109 --> 00:38:00,709
Someday she'll make
someone a wonderful wife.
798
00:38:02,281 --> 00:38:05,315
Well, I hate to sound rude,
799
00:38:05,350 --> 00:38:08,101
but, um, I'm afraid
you'll both have to go.
800
00:38:08,153 --> 00:38:09,552
Go?
801
00:38:09,587 --> 00:38:11,165
Kat, nothing has been settled.
802
00:38:11,189 --> 00:38:12,922
Well, do you want
to flunk your finals?
803
00:38:12,958 --> 00:38:14,907
If you think We'll
settle it tomorrow.
804
00:38:14,960 --> 00:38:17,271
I'm going to leave you two
alone in this apartment overnight,
805
00:38:17,295 --> 00:38:19,445
you're crazier
than Mexicali Rose.
806
00:38:19,498 --> 00:38:21,847
Oh, Daddy, you can't be serious.
807
00:38:21,883 --> 00:38:23,850
And I'm going to
keep him company.
808
00:38:23,885 --> 00:38:25,351
Oh, Mother.
809
00:38:25,387 --> 00:38:28,954
Well, Tim, are you
going to let them do this?
810
00:38:28,990 --> 00:38:30,300
Kat, if your parents want
811
00:38:30,324 --> 00:38:31,535
to spend the night with us,
812
00:38:31,559 --> 00:38:33,303
they're perfectly welcome.
813
00:38:33,327 --> 00:38:35,361
Whose side are you on?
814
00:38:35,397 --> 00:38:37,162
Look,
815
00:38:37,198 --> 00:38:39,243
all you're going to accomplish
by these bully tactics
816
00:38:39,267 --> 00:38:40,962
is to get Tim flunked.
817
00:38:40,986 --> 00:38:42,463
Now take it easy, Kat.
818
00:38:42,487 --> 00:38:43,931
I can study in the kitchen.
819
00:38:43,955 --> 00:38:45,121
No, you can't.
820
00:38:45,156 --> 00:38:46,322
You can't concentrate
821
00:38:46,358 --> 00:38:48,157
when the refrigerator gurgles.
822
00:38:48,193 --> 00:38:50,393
Katherine, why don't you,
823
00:38:50,428 --> 00:38:52,395
your father and I bunk
down in the bedroom?
824
00:38:52,430 --> 00:38:54,263
You do have one, don't you?
825
00:38:54,299 --> 00:38:55,760
Are you kidding?
826
00:38:55,784 --> 00:38:57,416
Then Tim could have this room
827
00:38:57,451 --> 00:38:58,951
all to himself.
828
00:38:59,004 --> 00:39:02,672
I don't know if you'll be very
comfortable, Mrs. Walker.
829
00:39:02,708 --> 00:39:05,069
We've never had three
people in here before.
830
00:39:05,093 --> 00:39:07,026
Well...
831
00:39:07,062 --> 00:39:08,861
if it'll put you on
the dean's list,
832
00:39:08,897 --> 00:39:10,863
we'll sleep standing up.
833
00:39:10,899 --> 00:39:13,599
Come on, Owen,
let the boy study.
834
00:39:22,060 --> 00:39:24,193
Now you take it easy, Kat.
835
00:39:24,228 --> 00:39:26,541
I told you all of this
is going to turn out
836
00:39:26,565 --> 00:39:27,708
for the best.
837
00:39:27,732 --> 00:39:29,198
Best, what's gotten in to you?
838
00:39:29,233 --> 00:39:30,833
How can you let
them make a mockery
839
00:39:30,869 --> 00:39:32,263
out of our whole way of life?
840
00:39:32,287 --> 00:39:33,697
If you'll just give me a chance,
841
00:39:33,721 --> 00:39:35,001
I'll show you how.
842
00:39:35,040 --> 00:39:36,239
Grinning and fawning
843
00:39:36,274 --> 00:39:37,935
and ushering them
around, like a maître d'.
844
00:39:37,959 --> 00:39:39,570
Well, what do you
expect me to do?
845
00:39:39,594 --> 00:39:40,605
Kick them down the stairs?
846
00:39:40,629 --> 00:39:41,639
But they're trying
to make us go back
847
00:39:41,663 --> 00:39:42,862
on all our principles.
848
00:39:42,914 --> 00:39:45,474
Well, some of them may
need a little going back on.
849
00:39:45,834 --> 00:39:50,469
If all it takes is a
visit from my parents
850
00:39:50,504 --> 00:39:52,839
to turn you into a
middle-class monster,
851
00:39:52,874 --> 00:39:57,210
then perhaps this whole
idea was a big mistake.
852
00:39:58,279 --> 00:39:59,812
Yeah?
853
00:39:59,848 --> 00:40:01,314
Maybe it was.
854
00:40:01,349 --> 00:40:05,384
Oh, that's really cruel.
855
00:40:05,437 --> 00:40:07,904
Oh, now, Kat, you
don't know what I mean.
856
00:40:07,939 --> 00:40:12,141
Well, I may not
understand Spanish,
857
00:40:12,176 --> 00:40:14,343
but I certainly know
858
00:40:14,378 --> 00:40:16,938
when someone is
trying to say adios!
859
00:40:33,298 --> 00:40:38,268
If we get married, then we'll
be obligated to love each other.
860
00:40:38,303 --> 00:40:43,939
No, dear, just obligated to try.
861
00:40:43,975 --> 00:40:49,507
♪ To make love grow
out of that first hello ♪
862
00:40:49,531 --> 00:40:57,531
♪ Is not a simple thing to do ♪
863
00:40:57,906 --> 00:41:03,876
♪ You give your heart and
some kisses at the start ♪
864
00:41:03,912 --> 00:41:11,912
♪ But love's more the
art of holding on to ♪
865
00:41:12,453 --> 00:41:15,120
♪ Beyond romantic dreams ♪
866
00:41:15,156 --> 00:41:18,791
♪ And childish
sweetheart schemes ♪
867
00:41:18,826 --> 00:41:25,798
♪ Love waits for those to come ♪
868
00:41:25,833 --> 00:41:29,318
♪ You trust and you forgive ♪
869
00:41:29,354 --> 00:41:33,088
♪ You work to make love live ♪
870
00:41:33,124 --> 00:41:39,962
♪ That's how it is
and that is why ♪
871
00:41:39,997 --> 00:41:46,202
♪ Love will not grow
by wishing it were so ♪
872
00:41:46,237 --> 00:41:50,039
♪ Love is the laughter
of your tears... ♪
873
00:41:50,074 --> 00:41:52,241
Tim?
874
00:42:08,393 --> 00:42:12,861
Tim, I can't sleep,
and it's all your fault.
875
00:42:16,534 --> 00:42:18,701
Tim?
876
00:42:18,736 --> 00:42:23,573
You didn't really
mean adios, did you?
877
00:42:23,608 --> 00:42:26,209
Tim?
878
00:42:26,244 --> 00:42:27,610
♪ Beyond romantic dreams ♪
879
00:42:27,645 --> 00:42:32,515
♪ And childish
sweetheart schemes ♪
880
00:42:32,550 --> 00:42:39,355
♪ Love waits for
those who can't ♪
881
00:42:39,390 --> 00:42:43,058
♪ You trust and you forgive ♪
882
00:42:43,094 --> 00:42:46,395
♪ You work to make love live ♪
883
00:42:46,431 --> 00:42:54,431
♪ And that's how it
is and that is why ♪
884
00:42:55,306 --> 00:43:02,144
♪ To make love grow
out of that first hello ♪
885
00:43:02,179 --> 00:43:09,218
♪ Is not a simple thing to do ♪
886
00:43:09,254 --> 00:43:16,158
♪ Love will not grow just
by wishing it were so ♪
887
00:43:16,193 --> 00:43:18,294
♪ Love is the joy ♪
888
00:43:18,329 --> 00:43:24,199
♪ Love is the joy ♪
♪ Love is the joy ♪
889
00:43:24,235 --> 00:43:31,240
♪ Of your tears. ♪
890
00:43:55,066 --> 00:43:56,699
She's gone.
891
00:43:56,734 --> 00:43:57,700
They're both gone.
892
00:43:57,735 --> 00:43:58,745
Oh, Lord.
893
00:43:58,769 --> 00:44:01,170
Relax, Owen, they left the bed.
894
00:44:01,206 --> 00:44:02,771
Oh, is it your back again?
895
00:44:02,807 --> 00:44:04,507
No, it's my gluteus maximus.
896
00:44:04,542 --> 00:44:05,819
Of course it's my back.
897
00:44:05,843 --> 00:44:07,221
Sleeping all night, curled
up like a horseshoe.
898
00:44:07,245 --> 00:44:08,822
Come on, we've
got to go find them.
899
00:44:08,846 --> 00:44:10,646
Well, you're not going
to find them like that,
900
00:44:10,681 --> 00:44:12,215
unless they left footprints.
901
00:44:12,250 --> 00:44:15,029
Come on, let me help you get
your back straightened out. All right.
902
00:44:15,053 --> 00:44:21,857
I suppose Katie ran away
because I was hard on her as usual.
903
00:44:21,893 --> 00:44:24,293
Edith? Hmm?
904
00:44:24,329 --> 00:44:26,229
I am right, aren't I?
905
00:44:26,264 --> 00:44:27,274
Tim?
906
00:44:27,298 --> 00:44:29,198
Katie!
907
00:44:29,234 --> 00:44:30,466
Where have you been?
908
00:44:30,502 --> 00:44:32,902
I can't find Tim anywhere.
909
00:44:32,937 --> 00:44:35,771
He didn't come home all night.
910
00:44:35,807 --> 00:44:37,718
And he wasn't at
any of his exams.
911
00:44:37,742 --> 00:44:38,853
He's gone.
912
00:44:38,877 --> 00:44:40,409
We chased him away.
913
00:44:40,444 --> 00:44:43,896
Oh, baby.
914
00:44:43,932 --> 00:44:45,842
Daddy, your back out again?
915
00:44:45,866 --> 00:44:46,832
Yeah.
916
00:44:46,867 --> 00:44:47,945
I'm sorry.
917
00:44:47,969 --> 00:44:49,346
Come on. Let's get out of here.
918
00:44:49,370 --> 00:44:50,714
There's way too much steam.
919
00:44:50,738 --> 00:44:52,538
Yeah, how do you
turn this thing off?
920
00:44:52,573 --> 00:44:54,051
Oh, Tim knows how to do it.
921
00:44:54,075 --> 00:44:56,142
Oh, wonderful. Where is he?
922
00:44:56,177 --> 00:44:58,044
Open the door.
923
00:44:58,079 --> 00:45:00,207
That's funny. There's
no doorknob. No what?
924
00:45:00,231 --> 00:45:04,266
He left without even
fixing the doorknob.
925
00:45:04,301 --> 00:45:06,535
Does that mean
we're trapped in here?
926
00:45:06,570 --> 00:45:08,415
Now don't get excited, Owen.
927
00:45:08,439 --> 00:45:09,934
Someone is bound to come along.
928
00:45:09,958 --> 00:45:12,091
At least I can breathe
through the keyhole.
929
00:45:12,126 --> 00:45:13,859
Don't worry, Daddy.
930
00:45:13,894 --> 00:45:15,694
This happens all the time.
931
00:45:15,729 --> 00:45:18,264
Excuse me, Mother. Excuse me.
932
00:45:18,299 --> 00:45:20,344
Mother, would you hand
me that hook behind you?
933
00:45:20,368 --> 00:45:21,368
Oh...
934
00:45:31,513 --> 00:45:33,345
Hi.
935
00:45:33,381 --> 00:45:35,242
I finally got you
where I want you.
936
00:45:35,266 --> 00:45:38,901
Tim, oh, Tim, where
have you been all night?
937
00:45:38,937 --> 00:45:41,070
Roaming the
campus like a dropout.
938
00:45:41,106 --> 00:45:42,705
And you didn't take your final.
939
00:45:42,741 --> 00:45:45,152
Kat, how could I
possibly concentrate
940
00:45:45,176 --> 00:45:46,876
on Brazilian coffee quotas
941
00:45:46,911 --> 00:45:49,340
when my whole life might be
cracking up in front of my eyes?
942
00:45:49,364 --> 00:45:52,164
Your life might not
be, but my makeup is.
943
00:45:52,200 --> 00:45:53,226
Who do you got in there?
944
00:45:53,250 --> 00:45:54,200
My parents.
945
00:45:54,235 --> 00:45:55,235
Let us out!
946
00:45:58,256 --> 00:45:59,688
Wait a minute.
947
00:45:59,723 --> 00:46:00,956
What am I doing?
948
00:46:00,992 --> 00:46:02,424
I don't want to let you out.
949
00:46:02,459 --> 00:46:03,687
You're just going to run away.
950
00:46:03,711 --> 00:46:05,489
I'd never run away from you.
951
00:46:05,513 --> 00:46:07,679
You will, when you
see what a rat I've been
952
00:46:07,715 --> 00:46:08,859
in keeping this a secret.
953
00:46:08,883 --> 00:46:10,599
Keeping what a secret?
954
00:46:10,635 --> 00:46:13,069
This customs declaration.
955
00:46:13,104 --> 00:46:16,422
Oh, Tim, are you a smuggler?
956
00:46:16,474 --> 00:46:19,725
Looks like Mexicali
Rose is his fence.
957
00:46:19,778 --> 00:46:23,780
No, I'm not a smuggler.
958
00:46:23,815 --> 00:46:27,549
Kat, remember in that
little town in Mexico
959
00:46:27,585 --> 00:46:29,430
where we had to go through
customs a second time?
960
00:46:29,454 --> 00:46:31,270
Well, that wasn't any customs.
961
00:46:31,322 --> 00:46:33,622
Well, of course it was.
962
00:46:33,657 --> 00:46:35,858
This little man made
you sign that paper,
963
00:46:35,893 --> 00:46:37,388
declaring all our goods.
964
00:46:37,412 --> 00:46:39,712
This is no declaration.
965
00:46:39,747 --> 00:46:41,414
And that was no little man.
966
00:46:41,449 --> 00:46:43,516
That was the city clerk.
967
00:46:43,551 --> 00:46:45,563
And what he gabbled off
that you didn't understand
968
00:46:45,587 --> 00:46:48,421
was "Dearly Beloved" in Spanish.
969
00:46:48,473 --> 00:46:50,906
Kat, this is a
marriage certificate.
970
00:46:50,942 --> 00:46:53,375
We've been legally married
for the last four months.
971
00:46:57,232 --> 00:46:58,897
You fink!
972
00:47:00,335 --> 00:47:03,435
Kat, I know I'm a
fink, but what can I do?
973
00:47:03,488 --> 00:47:07,790
Marriage isn't
so terrible, dear.
974
00:47:07,825 --> 00:47:10,092
It's people who
give it a bad name.
975
00:47:10,127 --> 00:47:11,426
What difference does it make?
976
00:47:11,462 --> 00:47:13,762
You're already the most
married couple I know.
977
00:47:42,176 --> 00:47:45,144
♪ ♪
978
00:47:52,870 --> 00:47:55,720
Kat?
979
00:47:57,575 --> 00:48:01,210
Kat, I was scared.
980
00:48:01,245 --> 00:48:04,046
I was scared in case we
had an argument like last night
981
00:48:04,082 --> 00:48:06,315
and I'd lose you forever.
982
00:48:06,350 --> 00:48:08,451
I couldn't sleep.
983
00:48:08,486 --> 00:48:10,486
I couldn't study.
984
00:48:10,521 --> 00:48:11,620
My grades were falling.
985
00:48:11,655 --> 00:48:12,783
I had to do something.
986
00:48:12,807 --> 00:48:17,576
But marriage will change me.
987
00:48:17,612 --> 00:48:19,156
I'll turn into a wife.
988
00:48:19,180 --> 00:48:21,346
No, you won't.
989
00:48:21,382 --> 00:48:24,282
I knew I was married, and it
didn't make a husband out of me.
990
00:48:30,858 --> 00:48:34,727
Kat, take this.
991
00:48:34,762 --> 00:48:37,363
I've been keeping it
for you since Mexico.
992
00:48:37,415 --> 00:48:42,146
I don't want to stifle our love.
993
00:48:42,170 --> 00:48:46,205
If our love is strong,
Kat, it'll survive anything.
994
00:48:46,240 --> 00:48:47,573
Even marriage.
995
00:49:12,450 --> 00:49:14,650
Kat?
996
00:49:14,685 --> 00:49:16,268
What's wrong?
997
00:49:19,674 --> 00:49:22,341
Do you still love me?
998
00:49:22,377 --> 00:49:25,043
Oh, Kat, I love you.
999
00:49:51,639 --> 00:49:56,241
♪ ♪
1000
00:50:25,506 --> 00:50:28,941
♪ ♪
1001
00:50:59,256 --> 00:51:02,457
Love is all over the world.
71140
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