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1
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[♪♪♪♪♪]
2
00:00:04,452 --> 00:00:07,697
Okay, now "pour soup
through a colander
3
00:00:07,835 --> 00:00:10,493
"to strain out the
larger pieces of chicken
4
00:00:10,631 --> 00:00:13,323
and the errant bone."
5
00:00:13,461 --> 00:00:15,774
Okay? And now...
6
00:00:15,912 --> 00:00:19,502
"Serve and enjoy
your piping-hot soup."
7
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[♪♪♪♪♪]
8
00:00:29,408 --> 00:00:31,341
[♪♪♪♪♪]
9
00:00:31,479 --> 00:00:34,241
Can I just say I really like
driving Mark's car?
10
00:00:34,379 --> 00:00:35,725
You were just
supposed to move it.
11
00:00:35,863 --> 00:00:37,382
I know, but in the
process of moving it,
12
00:00:37,520 --> 00:00:38,486
I drove it a little bit.
13
00:00:38,624 --> 00:00:40,212
What a car.
What a beautiful car.
14
00:00:40,350 --> 00:00:42,594
It's got an in-line 8
and a 5-speed automatic
15
00:00:42,732 --> 00:00:44,768
bringing all that power
to the pavement.
16
00:00:44,906 --> 00:00:46,425
I read the book.
There's a little book.
17
00:00:46,563 --> 00:00:47,978
I see.
[DOORBELL BUZZES]
18
00:00:48,117 --> 00:00:50,153
Guess who I was sitting
next to at a red light.
19
00:00:50,291 --> 00:00:51,327
Tony Randall.
20
00:00:51,465 --> 00:00:53,570
Still a handsome,
handsome man.
21
00:00:53,708 --> 00:00:55,572
Yes.
MAN: Priority parcel.
22
00:00:55,710 --> 00:00:57,540
Ooh, yay!
Yay! Steve with the legs.
23
00:00:57,678 --> 00:00:59,335
My shoes.
Shoes?
24
00:00:59,473 --> 00:01:00,853
What?
Shoes?
25
00:01:00,991 --> 00:01:03,201
Yeah. I ordered myself
a pair of Italian loafers,
26
00:01:03,339 --> 00:01:06,687
the likes of which you have
never seen in all your days.
27
00:01:06,825 --> 00:01:08,309
You take an outline
of your foot,
28
00:01:08,447 --> 00:01:11,968
and you send it to this master
cobbler in Palermo, Italy,
29
00:01:12,106 --> 00:01:14,488
and from that he takes it,
and he crafts a shoe
30
00:01:14,626 --> 00:01:16,248
that's so exactly
to your foot,
31
00:01:16,386 --> 00:01:18,699
and it's so comfortable,
it's so soft,
32
00:01:18,837 --> 00:01:20,252
it's like you're
wearing a calzone.
33
00:01:20,390 --> 00:01:21,322
Wow.
34
00:01:21,460 --> 00:01:22,565
[DOORBELL BUZZES]
35
00:01:22,703 --> 00:01:24,636
Wh-what did you say?
"Steve with the legs"?
36
00:01:24,774 --> 00:01:26,914
Yeah. Our priority parcel
guy's named Steve,
37
00:01:27,052 --> 00:01:29,123
and he has legs.
Steve with the legs.
38
00:01:29,261 --> 00:01:30,607
And?
39
00:01:30,745 --> 00:01:32,368
And he wears shorts,
and you see the legs,
40
00:01:32,506 --> 00:01:34,577
and they're very nice.
You happy?
41
00:01:34,715 --> 00:01:35,854
Hello.
42
00:01:35,992 --> 00:01:38,615
All right, yeah, those
are some damn nice legs.
43
00:01:38,753 --> 00:01:39,720
What?
44
00:01:39,858 --> 00:01:41,584
That's not him.
45
00:01:41,722 --> 00:01:43,068
Sorry.
46
00:01:43,206 --> 00:01:44,725
Paul Buchman?
Yes, yes.
47
00:01:44,863 --> 00:01:47,348
Where's the guy who
normally does this route?
48
00:01:47,486 --> 00:01:48,832
Oh, I see.
Steve with the legs.
49
00:01:48,970 --> 00:01:50,524
Yeah.
You call him that too?
50
00:01:50,662 --> 00:01:53,734
Hey, we've all
seen him in shorts.
51
00:01:53,872 --> 00:01:55,839
So where is he?
Is he on vacation?
52
00:01:55,977 --> 00:01:57,358
Has he moved?
Is he promoted?
53
00:01:57,496 --> 00:01:58,842
Dead.
54
00:01:58,980 --> 00:02:00,637
Dead?
Dead.
55
00:02:00,775 --> 00:02:02,398
Oh, my God.
How did that happen?
56
00:02:02,536 --> 00:02:03,537
Don't know.
57
00:02:03,675 --> 00:02:05,125
Don't know
you don't know,
58
00:02:05,263 --> 00:02:06,747
or, like,
cause of death unknown?
59
00:02:06,885 --> 00:02:09,301
Don't know. One day he was
delivering packages,
60
00:02:09,439 --> 00:02:11,096
and the next day--
Dead.
61
00:02:11,234 --> 00:02:14,824
No. Still delivering packages.
But that night...
62
00:02:14,962 --> 00:02:16,998
Dead, I'm hoping?
63
00:02:17,137 --> 00:02:18,552
Dead.
64
00:02:18,690 --> 00:02:21,279
That is horrible.
Life is so fragile.
65
00:02:21,417 --> 00:02:23,143
And what a way to spend
your last day, huh?
66
00:02:23,281 --> 00:02:25,455
Bringing boxes of stuff to
people you don't even know,
67
00:02:25,593 --> 00:02:27,285
and what kind of life--
68
00:02:27,423 --> 00:02:31,599
Okay. Okay. Well,
thank you, Tom. Tom, is it?
69
00:02:31,737 --> 00:02:33,670
Tom. Tom with the
drinking problem.
70
00:02:33,808 --> 00:02:35,741
Okay. Okay. Yeah.
71
00:02:38,468 --> 00:02:40,436
That is so sad.
72
00:02:40,574 --> 00:02:42,231
Oh, I'm sure Tom
is seeking help.
73
00:02:42,369 --> 00:02:43,646
No. About Steve.
74
00:02:43,784 --> 00:02:45,648
It makes you think
that any day, even today,
75
00:02:45,786 --> 00:02:48,582
could be your last. Our last.
It does?
76
00:02:48,720 --> 00:02:49,997
What if this were
our last day?
77
00:02:50,135 --> 00:02:51,723
What would you want
to do before you die?
78
00:02:51,861 --> 00:02:54,277
I'd like to see a monkey
peel a shrimp.
79
00:02:56,279 --> 00:02:58,971
Good one.
80
00:02:59,109 --> 00:03:01,940
I'd like to--
I would like to cure something.
81
00:03:02,078 --> 00:03:03,321
What?
82
00:03:03,459 --> 00:03:05,461
Well, for starters,
whatever was killing me.
83
00:03:05,599 --> 00:03:07,048
I'd give all our
money to charity.
84
00:03:07,187 --> 00:03:08,498
I'd tell everybody
not to worry.
85
00:03:08,636 --> 00:03:10,086
I'd tell everyone I love
I love them.
86
00:03:10,224 --> 00:03:11,674
That's nice.
I would do that too.
87
00:03:11,812 --> 00:03:14,366
You want to do that? Let's tell
everyone we love them.
88
00:03:14,504 --> 00:03:15,988
Seriously?
Yeah.
89
00:03:16,126 --> 00:03:17,611
All right. That's good.
Let's do that.
90
00:03:17,749 --> 00:03:18,853
Okay.
91
00:03:18,991 --> 00:03:21,062
So who do we tell?
Who do we tell?
92
00:03:21,201 --> 00:03:23,064
What are you doing?
I'm making a list.
93
00:03:23,203 --> 00:03:25,239
Now? This is it?
Today's our last day?
94
00:03:25,377 --> 00:03:27,068
Hello.
Steve with the legs.
95
00:03:27,207 --> 00:03:28,656
All right.
Gee, okay, you're right.
96
00:03:28,794 --> 00:03:30,969
When you're right, you're right.
Okay. So Mabel...
97
00:03:31,107 --> 00:03:33,696
Mabel for sure.
Our family, Mark and Fran...
98
00:03:33,834 --> 00:03:36,146
Yeah. Good. Him, yeah.
99
00:03:36,285 --> 00:03:37,389
Them you gotta.
100
00:03:37,527 --> 00:03:39,391
You know what?
Him if it was last year, yes,
101
00:03:39,529 --> 00:03:41,428
but this year,
not so much.
102
00:03:45,225 --> 00:03:46,536
Bye.
Bye-bye.
103
00:03:46,674 --> 00:03:48,435
Love you, Debbie.
Love you, Joan.
104
00:03:48,573 --> 00:03:49,884
BOTH:
We love you!
105
00:03:50,022 --> 00:03:51,023
Bye-bye.
106
00:03:51,161 --> 00:03:53,094
Well, that was...fun.
107
00:03:53,233 --> 00:03:54,993
It sure was.
108
00:03:55,131 --> 00:03:56,960
Cross 'em off.
Okay.
109
00:03:57,098 --> 00:03:58,410
Okay. So that's good.
110
00:03:58,548 --> 00:04:00,550
So we got Mabel, we got Murray,
Debbie and Joan...
111
00:04:00,688 --> 00:04:02,518
I gotta talk my mom
into having lunch with us,
112
00:04:02,656 --> 00:04:03,829
so you'll go pick her up
113
00:04:03,967 --> 00:04:05,797
while I talk to some
of the people only I love.
114
00:04:05,935 --> 00:04:07,177
Okay. Good.
All right. So...
115
00:04:07,316 --> 00:04:08,938
for the first time
the streets of this city
116
00:04:09,076 --> 00:04:11,423
will kiss my pattini.
117
00:04:11,561 --> 00:04:13,356
Shoes. Shoes.
Pattini.Italian for shoes.
118
00:04:13,494 --> 00:04:15,289
Oh, these are
so nice.
119
00:04:15,427 --> 00:04:16,773
Look at me.
I'm gliding.
120
00:04:16,911 --> 00:04:19,811
Look at me. I'm like
Michael Jackson, but forward.
121
00:04:21,571 --> 00:04:22,745
You gotta scratch 'em up.
122
00:04:22,883 --> 00:04:24,229
What are you
talkin' about, woman?
123
00:04:24,367 --> 00:04:26,024
The soles.
You gotta scratch 'em up,
124
00:04:26,162 --> 00:04:27,612
like with a steak knife
or something.
125
00:04:27,750 --> 00:04:29,786
[DOORBELL BUZZES]
It's called scoring.
126
00:04:29,924 --> 00:04:32,272
You would not last two minutes
with a master cobbler,
127
00:04:32,410 --> 00:04:34,757
I tell you that.
Hey there, Mrs. Buchman.
128
00:04:34,895 --> 00:04:36,379
Hey, Nat.
Hey, Nat.
129
00:04:36,517 --> 00:04:39,002
Hey, I just saw your sister
and her tall lady friend
130
00:04:39,140 --> 00:04:40,728
gettin' out of
the elevator there. Wow.
131
00:04:40,866 --> 00:04:43,524
That's a whole lot
of pretty in one place, huh?
132
00:04:43,662 --> 00:04:45,319
Thanks for making
the extra stop, Nat.
133
00:04:45,457 --> 00:04:46,596
Oh, please,
come on, sure.
134
00:04:46,734 --> 00:04:48,391
Nat, have a seat.
We'd like to talk to you.
135
00:04:48,529 --> 00:04:51,394
Ooh, awful words.
Awful, awful, awful words.
136
00:04:51,532 --> 00:04:52,395
No, Nat, no.
137
00:04:52,533 --> 00:04:53,810
No, no, please.
Don't shield me.
138
00:04:53,948 --> 00:04:55,605
Please, whatever it is,
I can take it.
139
00:04:55,743 --> 00:04:57,124
Well, actually,
I cannot take it,
140
00:04:57,262 --> 00:04:59,264
but in the ancient
tradition of saving face,
141
00:04:59,402 --> 00:05:00,783
I will attempt to do so.
142
00:05:00,921 --> 00:05:02,267
A moment, please.
143
00:05:02,405 --> 00:05:03,855
[CRACKING]
144
00:05:07,341 --> 00:05:08,377
Go.
145
00:05:08,515 --> 00:05:10,413
Nat, no, no.
I think you misunderstand.
146
00:05:10,551 --> 00:05:12,208
It's nothing bad.
In fact, it's nice.
147
00:05:12,346 --> 00:05:13,485
It's nice?
148
00:05:13,623 --> 00:05:15,004
I think you're gonna
like this.
149
00:05:15,142 --> 00:05:17,247
Something nice?
Yeah.
150
00:05:17,386 --> 00:05:18,766
Okay, goody, then.
151
00:05:18,904 --> 00:05:20,320
Feel free.
152
00:05:20,458 --> 00:05:24,185
Um... Nat...
153
00:05:26,464 --> 00:05:27,637
We love you.
154
00:05:32,228 --> 00:05:34,299
Nat, did you
hear us?
155
00:05:36,991 --> 00:05:38,924
We said we love you.
156
00:05:40,201 --> 00:05:41,168
Nat?
157
00:05:41,306 --> 00:05:43,757
Is it-- Is it a sex thing?
158
00:05:43,895 --> 00:05:45,068
Is it a sex thing?
159
00:05:45,206 --> 00:05:46,518
Oh, my God, no, no.
160
00:05:46,656 --> 00:05:47,864
For crying out loud.
161
00:05:48,002 --> 00:05:51,316
No. It's just a true, pure,
genuine love.
162
00:05:51,454 --> 00:05:53,629
You need money? You in trouble?
'Cause, my hand to God,
163
00:05:53,767 --> 00:05:55,631
you need money,
you get my every last nickel--
164
00:05:55,769 --> 00:05:58,530
No. This is just about
the feelings we have for you
165
00:05:58,668 --> 00:05:59,704
over the last few years.
166
00:05:59,842 --> 00:06:00,877
We feel love.
We love you.
167
00:06:01,015 --> 00:06:04,571
What, just that--
You just... love me?
168
00:06:04,709 --> 00:06:06,262
We love you.
That's all.
169
00:06:06,400 --> 00:06:08,989
Wow.
170
00:06:09,127 --> 00:06:11,060
Holy cats. I mean...
171
00:06:11,198 --> 00:06:13,821
Good people
like you love me?
172
00:06:13,959 --> 00:06:15,029
I'm loved?
173
00:06:15,167 --> 00:06:17,584
I mean, you know, I...
It's just...
174
00:06:22,416 --> 00:06:24,867
Oh, oh, oh, we--
We didn't mean to upset you.
175
00:06:25,005 --> 00:06:26,903
No, no. Please. Upset?
176
00:06:27,041 --> 00:06:29,630
There should be
a new word for happiness.
177
00:06:29,768 --> 00:06:32,944
I just want--
You should know that...
178
00:06:35,671 --> 00:06:37,535
Oh, oh, oh, Nat--
179
00:06:37,673 --> 00:06:39,053
Excuse me, folks.
180
00:06:39,191 --> 00:06:41,573
Just try and take it in the
spirit in which it was intended.
181
00:06:41,711 --> 00:06:43,403
Guy!
182
00:06:45,232 --> 00:06:46,751
Jeez, what did
you do to him?
183
00:06:46,889 --> 00:06:48,994
Nothing.
We were just--
184
00:06:49,132 --> 00:06:50,996
New shoes.
Aren't they nice, though?
185
00:06:51,134 --> 00:06:52,446
Those are very spiffy.
You know,
186
00:06:52,584 --> 00:06:55,035
you better score the bottoms
or you're gonna break your neck.
187
00:06:55,173 --> 00:06:57,037
You should use a letter opener.
The two of you.
188
00:06:57,175 --> 00:06:59,419
Why don't I just give them
to a cheetah for half an hour?
189
00:06:59,557 --> 00:07:01,179
Leave my shoes alone.
Sit down.
190
00:07:01,317 --> 00:07:02,905
All right, but you
got to make it quick.
191
00:07:03,043 --> 00:07:04,389
I got a rat loose
in the storeroom.
192
00:07:04,527 --> 00:07:07,185
Marvin is hunting him
with a crossbow.
193
00:07:07,323 --> 00:07:10,499
Okay, well,
we'll just jump in there.
194
00:07:10,637 --> 00:07:12,086
Uh...
195
00:07:12,224 --> 00:07:13,881
It's really
kind of simple.
196
00:07:14,019 --> 00:07:14,986
Ira...
197
00:07:15,124 --> 00:07:17,022
Jamie and I,
198
00:07:17,160 --> 00:07:19,680
we just-- We want you to
know that we love you.
199
00:07:19,818 --> 00:07:23,132
I know that.
What'd you want to see me about?
200
00:07:23,270 --> 00:07:24,927
That.
201
00:07:25,065 --> 00:07:26,549
Just that. We love you.
202
00:07:28,068 --> 00:07:29,828
We're pretending
we're dead tomorrow.
203
00:07:29,966 --> 00:07:32,935
What the hell's the matter
with you two?
204
00:07:33,073 --> 00:07:34,833
What?
You puttin' me on?
205
00:07:34,971 --> 00:07:35,972
No, no. We just--
206
00:07:36,110 --> 00:07:37,767
Like I don't have
a business to run.
207
00:07:37,905 --> 00:07:39,389
Take it in the spirit
it was intended.
208
00:07:39,528 --> 00:07:40,529
Yeah, uh-huh. Look,
209
00:07:40,667 --> 00:07:43,014
I'll come by next Tuesday,
we can cuddle.
210
00:07:43,152 --> 00:07:44,636
All we meant was--
211
00:07:44,774 --> 00:07:46,569
[SOBBING]
212
00:07:48,226 --> 00:07:50,193
All right,
so that's two more.
213
00:07:50,331 --> 00:07:51,505
Okay.
214
00:07:55,854 --> 00:07:58,926
♪ Baby, I'm a-want you ♪
215
00:07:59,064 --> 00:08:01,929
♪ Baby, I'm a-need you ♪
216
00:08:02,067 --> 00:08:04,380
♪ You're the only one
I care... ♪
217
00:08:04,518 --> 00:08:06,002
♪ Ooh, I love this car ♪
218
00:08:06,140 --> 00:08:09,454
♪ I love my drivin' gloves ♪
219
00:08:09,592 --> 00:08:11,525
♪ Maybe I'm a-crazy... ♪
220
00:08:11,663 --> 00:08:16,426
♪ But I just can't live
Without your lovin' ♪
221
00:08:16,565 --> 00:08:18,014
[TIRES SQUEALING]
[GASPS]
222
00:08:18,152 --> 00:08:19,947
[BRAKES SCREECH]
[THUDDING]
223
00:08:21,570 --> 00:08:23,503
[♪♪♪♪♪]
224
00:08:26,609 --> 00:08:28,508
[♪♪♪♪♪]
225
00:08:29,370 --> 00:08:30,475
Hey.
Hi.
226
00:08:30,613 --> 00:08:31,821
Where is she?
How's she doing?
227
00:08:31,959 --> 00:08:34,306
She's all right.
She broke, uh, one rib
228
00:08:34,444 --> 00:08:35,480
and two arms.
229
00:08:35,618 --> 00:08:37,275
She broke both her arms?
Yeah.
230
00:08:37,413 --> 00:08:39,691
But just the one rib.
231
00:08:39,829 --> 00:08:41,141
Hello, bright side.
232
00:08:41,279 --> 00:08:43,281
Thank God
you were right there.
233
00:08:43,419 --> 00:08:45,732
Yes, yes.
That's a blessing.
234
00:08:45,870 --> 00:08:47,630
Did you see
the actual accident?
235
00:08:49,736 --> 00:08:52,532
Yes, I did.
Yes, I did.
236
00:08:54,741 --> 00:08:56,708
Oh, my God.
237
00:08:59,090 --> 00:09:00,678
Yes, I know.
238
00:09:00,816 --> 00:09:02,921
I'm a little teapot.
239
00:09:03,059 --> 00:09:05,717
Oh, Mom!
Are you okay?
240
00:09:05,855 --> 00:09:07,892
Oh, honey.
I'm all right. I'm fine.
241
00:09:08,030 --> 00:09:09,721
It's not as bad
as it looks.
242
00:09:09,859 --> 00:09:11,758
The doctor says
in less than six months
243
00:09:11,896 --> 00:09:14,933
I might be able
to pick up a spoon.
244
00:09:15,071 --> 00:09:16,763
How could this happen?
245
00:09:16,901 --> 00:09:19,697
You mean
you don't know?
246
00:09:21,630 --> 00:09:22,527
No.
247
00:09:22,665 --> 00:09:26,255
Oh, this'll be fun.
248
00:09:32,123 --> 00:09:33,952
I was standing
on the curb.
249
00:09:34,090 --> 00:09:36,127
It was a beautiful
day today, if you recall.
250
00:09:36,265 --> 00:09:38,129
The sun was shining
in my face,
251
00:09:38,267 --> 00:09:40,096
and I was thrilled
with the prospect
252
00:09:40,234 --> 00:09:41,753
of meeting the two
of you for lunch,
253
00:09:41,891 --> 00:09:42,996
when all of a sudden--
254
00:09:43,134 --> 00:09:45,377
I hit her.
255
00:09:45,515 --> 00:09:46,413
What?
256
00:09:46,551 --> 00:09:48,035
I hit her
with the car.
257
00:09:48,173 --> 00:09:49,485
You hit my mother
with a car?
258
00:09:49,623 --> 00:09:50,969
Foot slipped.
What?
259
00:09:51,107 --> 00:09:53,523
Foot slipped off the
brake onto the gas.
260
00:09:53,662 --> 00:09:55,940
Your foot slipped?
You mean your shoe slipped?
261
00:09:56,078 --> 00:09:57,182
Okay.
Did you score it?
262
00:09:57,320 --> 00:09:58,977
You didn't score it.
Failed to score it.
263
00:09:59,115 --> 00:10:00,185
Honey, wait a second.
264
00:10:00,323 --> 00:10:02,187
You ought to check and make sure
that he's okay.
265
00:10:02,325 --> 00:10:04,120
After all, Paul was
in the accident too.
266
00:10:04,258 --> 00:10:05,881
Are you okay?
Fine.
267
00:10:06,019 --> 00:10:07,434
Good.
Now tear into him.
268
00:10:07,572 --> 00:10:10,679
I told you, Ira told you,
but do you listen? No.
269
00:10:10,817 --> 00:10:12,059
Do you listen? No.
270
00:10:12,197 --> 00:10:13,854
Do you listen? No.
No.
271
00:10:13,992 --> 00:10:16,098
Oh, my God.
Look at her.
272
00:10:20,067 --> 00:10:21,931
Theresa,
let me help you.
273
00:10:22,069 --> 00:10:24,485
Don't you...
274
00:10:24,624 --> 00:10:26,453
Theresa?
Patrick! Oh.
275
00:10:26,591 --> 00:10:28,282
My darling!
276
00:10:28,420 --> 00:10:30,422
Oh, sweetheart.
Are you all right?
277
00:10:30,560 --> 00:10:32,045
No, I'm fine.
278
00:10:32,183 --> 00:10:35,013
The doctor is teaching me
to applaud with my feet.
279
00:10:35,151 --> 00:10:37,153
How did you know
I was here?
280
00:10:37,291 --> 00:10:38,327
Paul. He called me.
281
00:10:38,465 --> 00:10:39,984
Yeah. Don't worry.
I called everybody.
282
00:10:40,122 --> 00:10:42,124
I called Patrick and Jamie
and my parents and Gus--
283
00:10:42,262 --> 00:10:43,470
Gus?!
284
00:10:43,608 --> 00:10:45,196
Gus? You called Gus?
285
00:10:45,334 --> 00:10:47,094
Well, he was married to you
for over 30 years.
286
00:10:47,232 --> 00:10:48,509
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Wait a minute.
287
00:10:48,648 --> 00:10:50,339
Let's just review this.
288
00:10:50,477 --> 00:10:53,687
You run me over,
and then you call my ex-husband
289
00:10:53,825 --> 00:10:57,139
and my boyfriend to meet me here
in the same room here?
290
00:10:57,277 --> 00:10:58,761
Well, I thought
at a time like this,
291
00:10:58,899 --> 00:11:01,143
your husband and your boyfriend
would possibly--
292
00:11:01,281 --> 00:11:04,249
Wrong. Okay, wrong.
So I got it wrong. Okay, wrong.
293
00:11:04,387 --> 00:11:06,562
Well, maybe there's a silver
lining here, Theresa.
294
00:11:06,700 --> 00:11:09,082
Maybe the fates have conspired
to lift the veil of secrecy
295
00:11:09,220 --> 00:11:10,670
under which you've
hidden our love.
296
00:11:10,808 --> 00:11:13,603
See? So it could be
a good thing.
297
00:11:13,742 --> 00:11:15,605
But it could be not.
Okay, okay.
298
00:11:15,744 --> 00:11:17,849
Has no one
brought you flowers?
299
00:11:17,987 --> 00:11:19,437
Well, then I'm off
to the gift shop,
300
00:11:19,575 --> 00:11:22,095
soon to make a beautiful,
if currently teapot-shaped girl
301
00:11:22,233 --> 00:11:23,890
a wee bit happier.
302
00:11:24,028 --> 00:11:25,754
Can I get anything
for anyone else?
303
00:11:25,892 --> 00:11:27,617
If you see a candy machine,
I haven't eaten
304
00:11:27,756 --> 00:11:28,929
since I hit her.
Paul!
305
00:11:30,724 --> 00:11:32,208
He offered.
306
00:11:32,346 --> 00:11:34,210
My darlin'...
307
00:11:42,771 --> 00:11:45,152
Sweetie, are you ready?
For what?
308
00:11:45,290 --> 00:11:47,430
Theresa, Jamie and I
have something we want to say--
309
00:11:47,568 --> 00:11:49,294
Are you kidding me?
Well, why not?
310
00:11:49,432 --> 00:11:50,710
You hit her with a car.
311
00:11:50,848 --> 00:11:52,401
One would argue
all the more reason.
312
00:11:52,539 --> 00:11:55,231
All right.
Theresa, it's sort of a--
313
00:11:55,369 --> 00:11:56,750
Something that
we wanted to say.
314
00:11:56,888 --> 00:11:59,201
Frankly, it's the reason we
wanted to have lunch with you.
315
00:11:59,339 --> 00:12:00,547
I hope you like it.
316
00:12:00,685 --> 00:12:02,618
W-w-we hope
it makes you happy.
317
00:12:02,756 --> 00:12:04,309
It makes us
happy to say.
318
00:12:04,447 --> 00:12:06,829
You're pregnant.
You're gonna have another baby?
319
00:12:06,967 --> 00:12:08,624
Oh, see--
Oh, that's incredible!
320
00:12:08,762 --> 00:12:09,729
You're gonna have--
321
00:12:09,867 --> 00:12:11,523
Hello in there.
Oh, that's wonderful.
322
00:12:11,661 --> 00:12:13,905
Oh, Paul...Paul...
323
00:12:14,043 --> 00:12:17,322
you little dickens.
324
00:12:17,460 --> 00:12:18,910
Mom, no.
325
00:12:19,048 --> 00:12:21,533
Not pregnant?
Sorry, no.
326
00:12:21,671 --> 00:12:24,191
Okay, then, uh,
what was so important
327
00:12:24,329 --> 00:12:26,435
that you wanted to tell me?
328
00:12:31,302 --> 00:12:32,993
We love you.
329
00:12:35,651 --> 00:12:36,825
Excuse me?
330
00:12:36,963 --> 00:12:38,412
We love you.
331
00:12:38,550 --> 00:12:40,035
You love me.
332
00:12:40,173 --> 00:12:41,588
Yes. We love you.
333
00:12:41,726 --> 00:12:45,005
That's-- That's what
we wanted to say to you.
334
00:12:45,143 --> 00:12:46,731
You love me.
335
00:12:48,733 --> 00:12:49,665
And you...
336
00:12:49,803 --> 00:12:51,460
You love me too?
337
00:12:51,598 --> 00:12:54,601
Yeah, but he's the one
who wanted to tell you now.
338
00:12:54,739 --> 00:12:56,637
That is just so...
339
00:12:56,776 --> 00:12:59,744
cheap.
340
00:12:59,882 --> 00:13:02,885
Here you get me all excited
about being a grandmother again,
341
00:13:03,023 --> 00:13:07,200
and then after knocking me
clear into next week with a car,
342
00:13:07,338 --> 00:13:10,720
you try to make up for it by
telling me that you love me?
343
00:13:10,859 --> 00:13:13,171
You love me?
You ought to be ashamed!
344
00:13:13,309 --> 00:13:14,483
I'm ashamed.
345
00:13:14,621 --> 00:13:15,795
I am a little ashamed.
Shame!
346
00:13:15,933 --> 00:13:18,314
There's a lot of shame. I feel--
Shame!
347
00:13:18,452 --> 00:13:19,764
People who need
shame come to me--
348
00:13:19,902 --> 00:13:22,008
Shame!
Shame! Get your shame!
349
00:13:22,146 --> 00:13:24,251
Shame on you!
I have the shame.
350
00:13:24,389 --> 00:13:25,494
Ah.
351
00:13:25,632 --> 00:13:27,496
Theresa,
how ya doin'?
352
00:13:27,634 --> 00:13:29,601
Gus, how nice
of you to come.
353
00:13:29,739 --> 00:13:30,879
Well, of all the--
354
00:13:31,017 --> 00:13:32,363
Oh, for God's sake,
355
00:13:32,501 --> 00:13:34,468
some sicko runs you
over with a car
356
00:13:34,606 --> 00:13:35,987
and I wouldn't
come over here?
357
00:13:36,125 --> 00:13:39,715
Who was the degenerate
piece of garbage, anyway?
358
00:13:39,853 --> 00:13:41,096
Hi, Paul. Hi, honey.
359
00:13:41,234 --> 00:13:43,063
Hi. Hi, Daddy.
360
00:13:43,201 --> 00:13:44,651
Nice seeing you.
Now you should go.
361
00:13:44,789 --> 00:13:46,446
I'm not supposed to have
a lot of visitors.
362
00:13:46,584 --> 00:13:48,137
Ah, Theresa,
here, for you.
363
00:13:48,275 --> 00:13:50,968
Oh.
364
00:13:51,106 --> 00:13:54,005
Lookie here.
365
00:13:54,143 --> 00:13:56,318
A delivery boy
with flowers.
366
00:13:58,009 --> 00:13:59,045
Delivery boy?
367
00:13:59,183 --> 00:14:01,530
Uh, Paul, would you
sign for them, please,
368
00:14:01,668 --> 00:14:03,463
and then just give this nice
delivery boy
369
00:14:03,601 --> 00:14:04,809
with the flowers a tip?
370
00:14:04,947 --> 00:14:07,053
Oh, Theresa, I wish you
would just tell Gus--
371
00:14:07,191 --> 00:14:10,366
You know what? I just--
I-I-I'm allergic to flowers.
372
00:14:10,504 --> 00:14:12,265
Why don't we take them
to the nurses station?
373
00:14:12,403 --> 00:14:13,507
I'm terribly allergic.
374
00:14:13,645 --> 00:14:17,442
Ah-choo. Ah-choo.
Ah-choo. Ah-choo.
375
00:14:17,580 --> 00:14:19,341
Gee, I thought
the flowers were lovely.
376
00:14:19,479 --> 00:14:22,585
Daddy, um, since we
have a quiet moment,
377
00:14:22,723 --> 00:14:25,174
there's something that Paul and
I wanted to say to you today,
378
00:14:25,312 --> 00:14:26,762
something
that goes unsaid.
379
00:14:26,900 --> 00:14:28,384
I don't think
we say it enough,
380
00:14:28,522 --> 00:14:32,181
but we want you to know
that we love you... very much.
381
00:14:32,319 --> 00:14:33,424
We love you, Gus.
382
00:14:35,184 --> 00:14:36,841
Hey, well,
I love you too.
383
00:14:36,979 --> 00:14:39,119
Well, that's nice to hear.
So super.
384
00:14:39,257 --> 00:14:40,603
Yeah. Ha, ha, ha.
385
00:14:40,741 --> 00:14:42,916
Well...
Hey, you know...
386
00:14:43,054 --> 00:14:44,366
[KISSES]
387
00:15:02,349 --> 00:15:03,695
Was there
anything else?
388
00:15:03,833 --> 00:15:06,353
No. That was it.
That was it.
389
00:15:07,630 --> 00:15:08,528
Hello.
390
00:15:08,666 --> 00:15:09,874
Hi.
391
00:15:10,012 --> 00:15:13,222
I'm looking for a redhead
in a thorax restrainer.
392
00:15:13,360 --> 00:15:15,845
I'm lookin' for a pretty young
woman in a white suit
393
00:15:15,984 --> 00:15:17,537
who knows the way
to the cafeteria.
394
00:15:17,675 --> 00:15:18,607
Follow me.
395
00:15:18,745 --> 00:15:20,160
Ah. What's good
down there?
396
00:15:20,298 --> 00:15:22,162
Well, Monday is
sloppy joe day.
397
00:15:22,300 --> 00:15:25,786
Oh! Thank heavens
it's Monday.
398
00:15:25,925 --> 00:15:28,513
How cute
is my dad?
399
00:15:28,651 --> 00:15:31,827
Cute. Cute and also
a terrific kisser.
400
00:15:31,965 --> 00:15:33,829
[THUMPING AT DOOR]
BOTH: Come in.
401
00:15:33,967 --> 00:15:35,555
[THUMPING]
Come on in, please.
402
00:15:35,693 --> 00:15:38,006
Come-- Oh, my God.
403
00:15:38,144 --> 00:15:39,421
PAUL:
Oh. Oh.
404
00:15:39,559 --> 00:15:41,802
Oh.
405
00:15:44,840 --> 00:15:45,875
Where's Patrick?
406
00:15:46,014 --> 00:15:48,085
He's sulking.
He's upset with me.
407
00:15:48,223 --> 00:15:49,810
Mom, don't you think
it's about time
408
00:15:49,949 --> 00:15:51,743
that you told Daddy
about Patrick?
409
00:15:51,881 --> 00:15:54,470
Look, if he knew I was seeing
somebody that young,
410
00:15:54,608 --> 00:15:56,093
he would be
deeply hurt.
411
00:15:56,231 --> 00:15:58,233
How does Patrick feel
about being kept a secret?
412
00:15:58,371 --> 00:15:59,717
He's deeply hurt.
413
00:15:59,855 --> 00:16:01,684
So?
I know, I know.
414
00:16:01,822 --> 00:16:03,479
It's a terrible situation!
415
00:16:03,617 --> 00:16:05,067
Would you like
the male perspective?
416
00:16:05,205 --> 00:16:07,000
No!
Of course.
417
00:16:10,521 --> 00:16:13,869
A mother gives birth
to a child.
418
00:16:14,007 --> 00:16:15,905
She nurtures that child.
419
00:16:16,044 --> 00:16:17,907
She takes him
to her bosom.
420
00:16:18,046 --> 00:16:20,945
She puts him back because he's
allergic, but who could know?
421
00:16:22,878 --> 00:16:24,776
That child grows up...
422
00:16:24,914 --> 00:16:26,226
takes a wife...
423
00:16:26,364 --> 00:16:29,712
and then that child and
that wife betray that mother
424
00:16:29,850 --> 00:16:33,233
with an almost
Quebec-ian coldness.
425
00:16:33,371 --> 00:16:35,718
Who is that mother?!
426
00:16:35,856 --> 00:16:37,927
I!
427
00:16:38,066 --> 00:16:40,620
Am.
428
00:16:40,758 --> 00:16:43,312
Well spoken, Sylvia.
Thank you.
429
00:16:43,450 --> 00:16:44,693
We are so sorry
430
00:16:44,831 --> 00:16:47,075
that you were struck
by an automobile.
431
00:16:47,213 --> 00:16:49,560
Here's some
mint patties.
432
00:16:52,390 --> 00:16:54,944
And we'll leave you
with these...
433
00:16:55,083 --> 00:16:57,533
people.
434
00:16:57,671 --> 00:16:59,535
She rehearsed that
all the way here.
435
00:16:59,673 --> 00:17:01,710
The best time
was in the elevator.
436
00:17:01,848 --> 00:17:03,470
Tell her
she was very good.
437
00:17:03,608 --> 00:17:04,954
Excuse us.
Hold on a second.
438
00:17:05,093 --> 00:17:06,163
Wait a second.
Mom...
439
00:17:06,301 --> 00:17:08,027
Dad. What--
What's goin' on?
440
00:17:08,165 --> 00:17:10,546
It's not like we're sitting home
wondering if you love us.
441
00:17:10,684 --> 00:17:12,686
But so long as you're
going from door to door--
442
00:17:12,824 --> 00:17:15,551
Oh, for crying out loud.
Oh, my God.
443
00:17:15,689 --> 00:17:17,519
We wanted to see, you know,
what it'd be like
444
00:17:17,657 --> 00:17:19,797
if we lived this day
as if it were our last day.
445
00:17:19,935 --> 00:17:22,317
We wanted to tell everybody
that we loved them.
446
00:17:22,455 --> 00:17:25,389
Everybody,
but not exactly everybody.
447
00:17:25,527 --> 00:17:27,805
We were saving
the best for last.
448
00:17:27,943 --> 00:17:29,117
What?
You and Pop.
449
00:17:29,255 --> 00:17:31,360
We were saving
the best for last.
450
00:17:31,498 --> 00:17:33,397
Really?
Yes.
451
00:17:33,535 --> 00:17:35,019
So you really
do love us.
452
00:17:35,157 --> 00:17:36,986
Yes!
Of course.
453
00:17:37,125 --> 00:17:38,505
You love us the best.
454
00:17:38,643 --> 00:17:40,473
Oh, we...
we love you the last.
455
00:17:40,611 --> 00:17:42,130
The best!
The best! Of course!
456
00:17:42,268 --> 00:17:44,442
Yes, the best!
[BURT CHUCKLING]
457
00:17:44,580 --> 00:17:46,548
Yeah. Of course.
458
00:17:46,686 --> 00:17:48,239
Tell her again how
you liked the speech.
459
00:17:48,377 --> 00:17:49,447
Oh,
we loved the speech, Ma.
460
00:17:49,585 --> 00:17:52,140
I was much better
in the elevator.
461
00:17:52,278 --> 00:17:54,107
All right. Love you.
462
00:17:58,836 --> 00:18:00,424
Hi, honey.
How you doin'?
463
00:18:00,562 --> 00:18:03,772
Oh, Gus. I got
the mother of all itches.
464
00:18:03,910 --> 00:18:05,946
It's right, uh...oh!
Oh, yeah.
465
00:18:06,085 --> 00:18:07,465
How did you know?
466
00:18:07,603 --> 00:18:09,812
Oh, hey, listen...
[CHUCKLES]
467
00:18:09,950 --> 00:18:12,815
Gus, sit down.
468
00:18:12,953 --> 00:18:14,472
[CHUCKLES]
469
00:18:17,130 --> 00:18:19,650
I'm seeing someone.
470
00:18:19,788 --> 00:18:22,653
Hmm. Well...
I figured.
471
00:18:22,791 --> 00:18:23,826
Really?
472
00:18:23,964 --> 00:18:25,863
Oh, come on, doll.
473
00:18:26,001 --> 00:18:28,728
You? You're one
in a million.
474
00:18:28,866 --> 00:18:30,109
You too, Gus.
475
00:18:30,247 --> 00:18:31,869
Ah...
476
00:18:32,007 --> 00:18:34,872
Who is it, the young guy
with the bowl of flowers?
477
00:18:35,010 --> 00:18:36,011
Yeah.
478
00:18:36,149 --> 00:18:37,668
Oh. Yeah.
479
00:18:37,806 --> 00:18:39,187
Well, he's young.
480
00:18:39,325 --> 00:18:40,912
Yeah, he's a...
young guy.
481
00:18:41,050 --> 00:18:42,362
Yeah.
482
00:18:42,500 --> 00:18:44,951
Oh,
he'll get over that.
483
00:18:46,918 --> 00:18:49,956
Is he, uh...
kind to you?
484
00:18:50,094 --> 00:18:52,683
Yes.
485
00:18:52,821 --> 00:18:53,994
Good.
486
00:18:54,133 --> 00:18:55,548
Good.
487
00:18:55,686 --> 00:18:57,239
You okay?
488
00:18:57,377 --> 00:18:58,965
Yeah, I'm okay.
Sure.
489
00:18:59,103 --> 00:19:00,484
Good. Good.
490
00:19:00,622 --> 00:19:02,037
[CHUCKLES]
491
00:19:02,175 --> 00:19:03,901
Well, I gotta
get going.
492
00:19:04,039 --> 00:19:07,353
Uh, it was great
to see you, doll.
493
00:19:07,491 --> 00:19:08,526
Hey, Gus.
494
00:19:12,012 --> 00:19:13,393
Uh-huh.
495
00:19:13,531 --> 00:19:15,464
Oh, yeah.
496
00:19:15,602 --> 00:19:17,742
It's the sloppy joes.
497
00:19:22,575 --> 00:19:24,542
Bye.
498
00:19:27,200 --> 00:19:28,891
Gus.
Ah, Patrick.
499
00:19:29,029 --> 00:19:30,030
You better go
right on in.
500
00:19:30,169 --> 00:19:31,066
She's waiting for you.
501
00:19:31,204 --> 00:19:34,103
Thank you.
Yeah, sure. And you two.
502
00:19:34,242 --> 00:19:36,485
I guess I'll be seeing
the pair of you soon, right?
503
00:19:36,623 --> 00:19:38,246
Sure.
I love you, Daddy.
504
00:19:38,384 --> 00:19:41,318
Yeah, you mentioned that.
I love you too.
505
00:19:41,456 --> 00:19:42,767
We love you, Gus.
506
00:19:42,905 --> 00:19:44,424
All right, Paul,
all right.
507
00:19:45,805 --> 00:19:47,082
And listen, remember,
508
00:19:47,220 --> 00:19:48,704
if they ever catch the guy
509
00:19:48,842 --> 00:19:50,327
that ran her over,
you know,
510
00:19:50,465 --> 00:19:51,983
you and me together,
right?
511
00:19:52,121 --> 00:19:53,778
Yeah, you bet.
512
00:19:57,057 --> 00:19:58,783
Can I say one thing?
Yeah.
513
00:19:58,921 --> 00:20:00,337
I love you.
514
00:20:00,475 --> 00:20:04,893
Have you learnt nothing
in the last seven hours?
515
00:20:05,031 --> 00:20:07,620
[♪♪♪♪♪]
516
00:20:14,109 --> 00:20:15,593
[DOOR OPENS]
Ira.
517
00:20:15,731 --> 00:20:17,423
Yeah.
What are you doin'?
518
00:20:17,561 --> 00:20:19,735
I'm stealing.
519
00:20:19,873 --> 00:20:20,840
Why?
520
00:20:20,978 --> 00:20:22,186
Why? Because the finale
521
00:20:22,324 --> 00:20:24,809
is a week from next Monday,
and I thought I'd take
522
00:20:24,947 --> 00:20:26,673
some of Paulie and Jamie's
stuff, you know?
523
00:20:26,811 --> 00:20:28,296
You don't think Ron Howard
524
00:20:28,434 --> 00:20:31,402
would've loved to have
stolen the Fonzie's jacket?
525
00:20:32,783 --> 00:20:35,130
Finale?
What do you mean, finale?
526
00:20:35,268 --> 00:20:37,891
The finale.
It's the last show.
527
00:20:38,029 --> 00:20:40,204
Nat, listen to me.
528
00:20:40,342 --> 00:20:42,551
After this episode,
there's only two more episodes,
529
00:20:42,689 --> 00:20:44,312
then Mad About You
is over, my friend.
530
00:20:44,450 --> 00:20:46,831
You know, finito.Done.
531
00:20:51,215 --> 00:20:52,734
[CRYING]
532
00:21:05,160 --> 00:21:07,058
Closed Captions:
Sarah Cannon
36572
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