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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,002 --> 00:00:04,314 [♪♪♪♪♪] 2 00:00:04,452 --> 00:00:07,697 Okay, now "pour soup through a colander 3 00:00:07,835 --> 00:00:10,493 "to strain out the larger pieces of chicken 4 00:00:10,631 --> 00:00:13,323 and the errant bone." 5 00:00:13,461 --> 00:00:15,774 Okay? And now... 6 00:00:15,912 --> 00:00:19,502 "Serve and enjoy your piping-hot soup." 7 00:00:25,163 --> 00:00:27,061 [♪♪♪♪♪] 8 00:00:29,408 --> 00:00:31,341 [♪♪♪♪♪] 9 00:00:31,479 --> 00:00:34,241 Can I just say I really like driving Mark's car? 10 00:00:34,379 --> 00:00:35,725 You were just supposed to move it. 11 00:00:35,863 --> 00:00:37,382 I know, but in the process of moving it, 12 00:00:37,520 --> 00:00:38,486 I drove it a little bit. 13 00:00:38,624 --> 00:00:40,212 What a car. What a beautiful car. 14 00:00:40,350 --> 00:00:42,594 It's got an in-line 8 and a 5-speed automatic 15 00:00:42,732 --> 00:00:44,768 bringing all that power to the pavement. 16 00:00:44,906 --> 00:00:46,425 I read the book. There's a little book. 17 00:00:46,563 --> 00:00:47,978 I see. [DOORBELL BUZZES] 18 00:00:48,117 --> 00:00:50,153 Guess who I was sitting next to at a red light. 19 00:00:50,291 --> 00:00:51,327 Tony Randall. 20 00:00:51,465 --> 00:00:53,570 Still a handsome, handsome man. 21 00:00:53,708 --> 00:00:55,572 Yes. MAN: Priority parcel. 22 00:00:55,710 --> 00:00:57,540 Ooh, yay! Yay! Steve with the legs. 23 00:00:57,678 --> 00:00:59,335 My shoes. Shoes? 24 00:00:59,473 --> 00:01:00,853 What? Shoes? 25 00:01:00,991 --> 00:01:03,201 Yeah. I ordered myself a pair of Italian loafers, 26 00:01:03,339 --> 00:01:06,687 the likes of which you have never seen in all your days. 27 00:01:06,825 --> 00:01:08,309 You take an outline of your foot, 28 00:01:08,447 --> 00:01:11,968 and you send it to this master cobbler in Palermo, Italy, 29 00:01:12,106 --> 00:01:14,488 and from that he takes it, and he crafts a shoe 30 00:01:14,626 --> 00:01:16,248 that's so exactly to your foot, 31 00:01:16,386 --> 00:01:18,699 and it's so comfortable, it's so soft, 32 00:01:18,837 --> 00:01:20,252 it's like you're wearing a calzone. 33 00:01:20,390 --> 00:01:21,322 Wow. 34 00:01:21,460 --> 00:01:22,565 [DOORBELL BUZZES] 35 00:01:22,703 --> 00:01:24,636 Wh-what did you say? "Steve with the legs"? 36 00:01:24,774 --> 00:01:26,914 Yeah. Our priority parcel guy's named Steve, 37 00:01:27,052 --> 00:01:29,123 and he has legs. Steve with the legs. 38 00:01:29,261 --> 00:01:30,607 And? 39 00:01:30,745 --> 00:01:32,368 And he wears shorts, and you see the legs, 40 00:01:32,506 --> 00:01:34,577 and they're very nice. You happy? 41 00:01:34,715 --> 00:01:35,854 Hello. 42 00:01:35,992 --> 00:01:38,615 All right, yeah, those are some damn nice legs. 43 00:01:38,753 --> 00:01:39,720 What? 44 00:01:39,858 --> 00:01:41,584 That's not him. 45 00:01:41,722 --> 00:01:43,068 Sorry. 46 00:01:43,206 --> 00:01:44,725 Paul Buchman? Yes, yes. 47 00:01:44,863 --> 00:01:47,348 Where's the guy who normally does this route? 48 00:01:47,486 --> 00:01:48,832 Oh, I see. Steve with the legs. 49 00:01:48,970 --> 00:01:50,524 Yeah. You call him that too? 50 00:01:50,662 --> 00:01:53,734 Hey, we've all seen him in shorts. 51 00:01:53,872 --> 00:01:55,839 So where is he? Is he on vacation? 52 00:01:55,977 --> 00:01:57,358 Has he moved? Is he promoted? 53 00:01:57,496 --> 00:01:58,842 Dead. 54 00:01:58,980 --> 00:02:00,637 Dead? Dead. 55 00:02:00,775 --> 00:02:02,398 Oh, my God. How did that happen? 56 00:02:02,536 --> 00:02:03,537 Don't know. 57 00:02:03,675 --> 00:02:05,125 Don't know you don't know, 58 00:02:05,263 --> 00:02:06,747 or, like, cause of death unknown? 59 00:02:06,885 --> 00:02:09,301 Don't know. One day he was delivering packages, 60 00:02:09,439 --> 00:02:11,096 and the next day-- Dead. 61 00:02:11,234 --> 00:02:14,824 No. Still delivering packages. But that night... 62 00:02:14,962 --> 00:02:16,998 Dead, I'm hoping? 63 00:02:17,137 --> 00:02:18,552 Dead. 64 00:02:18,690 --> 00:02:21,279 That is horrible. Life is so fragile. 65 00:02:21,417 --> 00:02:23,143 And what a way to spend your last day, huh? 66 00:02:23,281 --> 00:02:25,455 Bringing boxes of stuff to people you don't even know, 67 00:02:25,593 --> 00:02:27,285 and what kind of life-- 68 00:02:27,423 --> 00:02:31,599 Okay. Okay. Well, thank you, Tom. Tom, is it? 69 00:02:31,737 --> 00:02:33,670 Tom. Tom with the drinking problem. 70 00:02:33,808 --> 00:02:35,741 Okay. Okay. Yeah. 71 00:02:38,468 --> 00:02:40,436 That is so sad. 72 00:02:40,574 --> 00:02:42,231 Oh, I'm sure Tom is seeking help. 73 00:02:42,369 --> 00:02:43,646 No. About Steve. 74 00:02:43,784 --> 00:02:45,648 It makes you think that any day, even today, 75 00:02:45,786 --> 00:02:48,582 could be your last. Our last. It does? 76 00:02:48,720 --> 00:02:49,997 What if this were our last day? 77 00:02:50,135 --> 00:02:51,723 What would you want to do before you die? 78 00:02:51,861 --> 00:02:54,277 I'd like to see a monkey peel a shrimp. 79 00:02:56,279 --> 00:02:58,971 Good one. 80 00:02:59,109 --> 00:03:01,940 I'd like to-- I would like to cure something. 81 00:03:02,078 --> 00:03:03,321 What? 82 00:03:03,459 --> 00:03:05,461 Well, for starters, whatever was killing me. 83 00:03:05,599 --> 00:03:07,048 I'd give all our money to charity. 84 00:03:07,187 --> 00:03:08,498 I'd tell everybody not to worry. 85 00:03:08,636 --> 00:03:10,086 I'd tell everyone I love I love them. 86 00:03:10,224 --> 00:03:11,674 That's nice. I would do that too. 87 00:03:11,812 --> 00:03:14,366 You want to do that? Let's tell everyone we love them. 88 00:03:14,504 --> 00:03:15,988 Seriously? Yeah. 89 00:03:16,126 --> 00:03:17,611 All right. That's good. Let's do that. 90 00:03:17,749 --> 00:03:18,853 Okay. 91 00:03:18,991 --> 00:03:21,062 So who do we tell? Who do we tell? 92 00:03:21,201 --> 00:03:23,064 What are you doing? I'm making a list. 93 00:03:23,203 --> 00:03:25,239 Now? This is it? Today's our last day? 94 00:03:25,377 --> 00:03:27,068 Hello. Steve with the legs. 95 00:03:27,207 --> 00:03:28,656 All right. Gee, okay, you're right. 96 00:03:28,794 --> 00:03:30,969 When you're right, you're right. Okay. So Mabel... 97 00:03:31,107 --> 00:03:33,696 Mabel for sure. Our family, Mark and Fran... 98 00:03:33,834 --> 00:03:36,146 Yeah. Good. Him, yeah. 99 00:03:36,285 --> 00:03:37,389 Them you gotta. 100 00:03:37,527 --> 00:03:39,391 You know what? Him if it was last year, yes, 101 00:03:39,529 --> 00:03:41,428 but this year, not so much. 102 00:03:45,225 --> 00:03:46,536 Bye. Bye-bye. 103 00:03:46,674 --> 00:03:48,435 Love you, Debbie. Love you, Joan. 104 00:03:48,573 --> 00:03:49,884 BOTH: We love you! 105 00:03:50,022 --> 00:03:51,023 Bye-bye. 106 00:03:51,161 --> 00:03:53,094 Well, that was...fun. 107 00:03:53,233 --> 00:03:54,993 It sure was. 108 00:03:55,131 --> 00:03:56,960 Cross 'em off. Okay. 109 00:03:57,098 --> 00:03:58,410 Okay. So that's good. 110 00:03:58,548 --> 00:04:00,550 So we got Mabel, we got Murray, Debbie and Joan... 111 00:04:00,688 --> 00:04:02,518 I gotta talk my mom into having lunch with us, 112 00:04:02,656 --> 00:04:03,829 so you'll go pick her up 113 00:04:03,967 --> 00:04:05,797 while I talk to some of the people only I love. 114 00:04:05,935 --> 00:04:07,177 Okay. Good. All right. So... 115 00:04:07,316 --> 00:04:08,938 for the first time the streets of this city 116 00:04:09,076 --> 00:04:11,423 will kiss my pattini. 117 00:04:11,561 --> 00:04:13,356 Shoes. Shoes. Pattini.Italian for shoes. 118 00:04:13,494 --> 00:04:15,289 Oh, these are so nice. 119 00:04:15,427 --> 00:04:16,773 Look at me. I'm gliding. 120 00:04:16,911 --> 00:04:19,811 Look at me. I'm like Michael Jackson, but forward. 121 00:04:21,571 --> 00:04:22,745 You gotta scratch 'em up. 122 00:04:22,883 --> 00:04:24,229 What are you talkin' about, woman? 123 00:04:24,367 --> 00:04:26,024 The soles. You gotta scratch 'em up, 124 00:04:26,162 --> 00:04:27,612 like with a steak knife or something. 125 00:04:27,750 --> 00:04:29,786 [DOORBELL BUZZES] It's called scoring. 126 00:04:29,924 --> 00:04:32,272 You would not last two minutes with a master cobbler, 127 00:04:32,410 --> 00:04:34,757 I tell you that. Hey there, Mrs. Buchman. 128 00:04:34,895 --> 00:04:36,379 Hey, Nat. Hey, Nat. 129 00:04:36,517 --> 00:04:39,002 Hey, I just saw your sister and her tall lady friend 130 00:04:39,140 --> 00:04:40,728 gettin' out of the elevator there. Wow. 131 00:04:40,866 --> 00:04:43,524 That's a whole lot of pretty in one place, huh? 132 00:04:43,662 --> 00:04:45,319 Thanks for making the extra stop, Nat. 133 00:04:45,457 --> 00:04:46,596 Oh, please, come on, sure. 134 00:04:46,734 --> 00:04:48,391 Nat, have a seat. We'd like to talk to you. 135 00:04:48,529 --> 00:04:51,394 Ooh, awful words. Awful, awful, awful words. 136 00:04:51,532 --> 00:04:52,395 No, Nat, no. 137 00:04:52,533 --> 00:04:53,810 No, no, please. Don't shield me. 138 00:04:53,948 --> 00:04:55,605 Please, whatever it is, I can take it. 139 00:04:55,743 --> 00:04:57,124 Well, actually, I cannot take it, 140 00:04:57,262 --> 00:04:59,264 but in the ancient tradition of saving face, 141 00:04:59,402 --> 00:05:00,783 I will attempt to do so. 142 00:05:00,921 --> 00:05:02,267 A moment, please. 143 00:05:02,405 --> 00:05:03,855 [CRACKING] 144 00:05:07,341 --> 00:05:08,377 Go. 145 00:05:08,515 --> 00:05:10,413 Nat, no, no. I think you misunderstand. 146 00:05:10,551 --> 00:05:12,208 It's nothing bad. In fact, it's nice. 147 00:05:12,346 --> 00:05:13,485 It's nice? 148 00:05:13,623 --> 00:05:15,004 I think you're gonna like this. 149 00:05:15,142 --> 00:05:17,247 Something nice? Yeah. 150 00:05:17,386 --> 00:05:18,766 Okay, goody, then. 151 00:05:18,904 --> 00:05:20,320 Feel free. 152 00:05:20,458 --> 00:05:24,185 Um... Nat... 153 00:05:26,464 --> 00:05:27,637 We love you. 154 00:05:32,228 --> 00:05:34,299 Nat, did you hear us? 155 00:05:36,991 --> 00:05:38,924 We said we love you. 156 00:05:40,201 --> 00:05:41,168 Nat? 157 00:05:41,306 --> 00:05:43,757 Is it-- Is it a sex thing? 158 00:05:43,895 --> 00:05:45,068 Is it a sex thing? 159 00:05:45,206 --> 00:05:46,518 Oh, my God, no, no. 160 00:05:46,656 --> 00:05:47,864 For crying out loud. 161 00:05:48,002 --> 00:05:51,316 No. It's just a true, pure, genuine love. 162 00:05:51,454 --> 00:05:53,629 You need money? You in trouble? 'Cause, my hand to God, 163 00:05:53,767 --> 00:05:55,631 you need money, you get my every last nickel-- 164 00:05:55,769 --> 00:05:58,530 No. This is just about the feelings we have for you 165 00:05:58,668 --> 00:05:59,704 over the last few years. 166 00:05:59,842 --> 00:06:00,877 We feel love. We love you. 167 00:06:01,015 --> 00:06:04,571 What, just that-- You just... love me? 168 00:06:04,709 --> 00:06:06,262 We love you. That's all. 169 00:06:06,400 --> 00:06:08,989 Wow. 170 00:06:09,127 --> 00:06:11,060 Holy cats. I mean... 171 00:06:11,198 --> 00:06:13,821 Good people like you love me? 172 00:06:13,959 --> 00:06:15,029 I'm loved? 173 00:06:15,167 --> 00:06:17,584 I mean, you know, I... It's just... 174 00:06:22,416 --> 00:06:24,867 Oh, oh, oh, we-- We didn't mean to upset you. 175 00:06:25,005 --> 00:06:26,903 No, no. Please. Upset? 176 00:06:27,041 --> 00:06:29,630 There should be a new word for happiness. 177 00:06:29,768 --> 00:06:32,944 I just want-- You should know that... 178 00:06:35,671 --> 00:06:37,535 Oh, oh, oh, Nat-- 179 00:06:37,673 --> 00:06:39,053 Excuse me, folks. 180 00:06:39,191 --> 00:06:41,573 Just try and take it in the spirit in which it was intended. 181 00:06:41,711 --> 00:06:43,403 Guy! 182 00:06:45,232 --> 00:06:46,751 Jeez, what did you do to him? 183 00:06:46,889 --> 00:06:48,994 Nothing. We were just-- 184 00:06:49,132 --> 00:06:50,996 New shoes. Aren't they nice, though? 185 00:06:51,134 --> 00:06:52,446 Those are very spiffy. You know, 186 00:06:52,584 --> 00:06:55,035 you better score the bottoms or you're gonna break your neck. 187 00:06:55,173 --> 00:06:57,037 You should use a letter opener. The two of you. 188 00:06:57,175 --> 00:06:59,419 Why don't I just give them to a cheetah for half an hour? 189 00:06:59,557 --> 00:07:01,179 Leave my shoes alone. Sit down. 190 00:07:01,317 --> 00:07:02,905 All right, but you got to make it quick. 191 00:07:03,043 --> 00:07:04,389 I got a rat loose in the storeroom. 192 00:07:04,527 --> 00:07:07,185 Marvin is hunting him with a crossbow. 193 00:07:07,323 --> 00:07:10,499 Okay, well, we'll just jump in there. 194 00:07:10,637 --> 00:07:12,086 Uh... 195 00:07:12,224 --> 00:07:13,881 It's really kind of simple. 196 00:07:14,019 --> 00:07:14,986 Ira... 197 00:07:15,124 --> 00:07:17,022 Jamie and I, 198 00:07:17,160 --> 00:07:19,680 we just-- We want you to know that we love you. 199 00:07:19,818 --> 00:07:23,132 I know that. What'd you want to see me about? 200 00:07:23,270 --> 00:07:24,927 That. 201 00:07:25,065 --> 00:07:26,549 Just that. We love you. 202 00:07:28,068 --> 00:07:29,828 We're pretending we're dead tomorrow. 203 00:07:29,966 --> 00:07:32,935 What the hell's the matter with you two? 204 00:07:33,073 --> 00:07:34,833 What? You puttin' me on? 205 00:07:34,971 --> 00:07:35,972 No, no. We just-- 206 00:07:36,110 --> 00:07:37,767 Like I don't have a business to run. 207 00:07:37,905 --> 00:07:39,389 Take it in the spirit it was intended. 208 00:07:39,528 --> 00:07:40,529 Yeah, uh-huh. Look, 209 00:07:40,667 --> 00:07:43,014 I'll come by next Tuesday, we can cuddle. 210 00:07:43,152 --> 00:07:44,636 All we meant was-- 211 00:07:44,774 --> 00:07:46,569 [SOBBING] 212 00:07:48,226 --> 00:07:50,193 All right, so that's two more. 213 00:07:50,331 --> 00:07:51,505 Okay. 214 00:07:55,854 --> 00:07:58,926 ♪ Baby, I'm a-want you ♪ 215 00:07:59,064 --> 00:08:01,929 ♪ Baby, I'm a-need you ♪ 216 00:08:02,067 --> 00:08:04,380 ♪ You're the only one I care... ♪ 217 00:08:04,518 --> 00:08:06,002 ♪ Ooh, I love this car ♪ 218 00:08:06,140 --> 00:08:09,454 ♪ I love my drivin' gloves ♪ 219 00:08:09,592 --> 00:08:11,525 ♪ Maybe I'm a-crazy... ♪ 220 00:08:11,663 --> 00:08:16,426 ♪ But I just can't live Without your lovin' ♪ 221 00:08:16,565 --> 00:08:18,014 [TIRES SQUEALING] [GASPS] 222 00:08:18,152 --> 00:08:19,947 [BRAKES SCREECH] [THUDDING] 223 00:08:21,570 --> 00:08:23,503 [♪♪♪♪♪] 224 00:08:26,609 --> 00:08:28,508 [♪♪♪♪♪] 225 00:08:29,370 --> 00:08:30,475 Hey. Hi. 226 00:08:30,613 --> 00:08:31,821 Where is she? How's she doing? 227 00:08:31,959 --> 00:08:34,306 She's all right. She broke, uh, one rib 228 00:08:34,444 --> 00:08:35,480 and two arms. 229 00:08:35,618 --> 00:08:37,275 She broke both her arms? Yeah. 230 00:08:37,413 --> 00:08:39,691 But just the one rib. 231 00:08:39,829 --> 00:08:41,141 Hello, bright side. 232 00:08:41,279 --> 00:08:43,281 Thank God you were right there. 233 00:08:43,419 --> 00:08:45,732 Yes, yes. That's a blessing. 234 00:08:45,870 --> 00:08:47,630 Did you see the actual accident? 235 00:08:49,736 --> 00:08:52,532 Yes, I did. Yes, I did. 236 00:08:54,741 --> 00:08:56,708 Oh, my God. 237 00:08:59,090 --> 00:09:00,678 Yes, I know. 238 00:09:00,816 --> 00:09:02,921 I'm a little teapot. 239 00:09:03,059 --> 00:09:05,717 Oh, Mom! Are you okay? 240 00:09:05,855 --> 00:09:07,892 Oh, honey. I'm all right. I'm fine. 241 00:09:08,030 --> 00:09:09,721 It's not as bad as it looks. 242 00:09:09,859 --> 00:09:11,758 The doctor says in less than six months 243 00:09:11,896 --> 00:09:14,933 I might be able to pick up a spoon. 244 00:09:15,071 --> 00:09:16,763 How could this happen? 245 00:09:16,901 --> 00:09:19,697 You mean you don't know? 246 00:09:21,630 --> 00:09:22,527 No. 247 00:09:22,665 --> 00:09:26,255 Oh, this'll be fun. 248 00:09:32,123 --> 00:09:33,952 I was standing on the curb. 249 00:09:34,090 --> 00:09:36,127 It was a beautiful day today, if you recall. 250 00:09:36,265 --> 00:09:38,129 The sun was shining in my face, 251 00:09:38,267 --> 00:09:40,096 and I was thrilled with the prospect 252 00:09:40,234 --> 00:09:41,753 of meeting the two of you for lunch, 253 00:09:41,891 --> 00:09:42,996 when all of a sudden-- 254 00:09:43,134 --> 00:09:45,377 I hit her. 255 00:09:45,515 --> 00:09:46,413 What? 256 00:09:46,551 --> 00:09:48,035 I hit her with the car. 257 00:09:48,173 --> 00:09:49,485 You hit my mother with a car? 258 00:09:49,623 --> 00:09:50,969 Foot slipped. What? 259 00:09:51,107 --> 00:09:53,523 Foot slipped off the brake onto the gas. 260 00:09:53,662 --> 00:09:55,940 Your foot slipped? You mean your shoe slipped? 261 00:09:56,078 --> 00:09:57,182 Okay. Did you score it? 262 00:09:57,320 --> 00:09:58,977 You didn't score it. Failed to score it. 263 00:09:59,115 --> 00:10:00,185 Honey, wait a second. 264 00:10:00,323 --> 00:10:02,187 You ought to check and make sure that he's okay. 265 00:10:02,325 --> 00:10:04,120 After all, Paul was in the accident too. 266 00:10:04,258 --> 00:10:05,881 Are you okay? Fine. 267 00:10:06,019 --> 00:10:07,434 Good. Now tear into him. 268 00:10:07,572 --> 00:10:10,679 I told you, Ira told you, but do you listen? No. 269 00:10:10,817 --> 00:10:12,059 Do you listen? No. 270 00:10:12,197 --> 00:10:13,854 Do you listen? No. No. 271 00:10:13,992 --> 00:10:16,098 Oh, my God. Look at her. 272 00:10:20,067 --> 00:10:21,931 Theresa, let me help you. 273 00:10:22,069 --> 00:10:24,485 Don't you... 274 00:10:24,624 --> 00:10:26,453 Theresa? Patrick! Oh. 275 00:10:26,591 --> 00:10:28,282 My darling! 276 00:10:28,420 --> 00:10:30,422 Oh, sweetheart. Are you all right? 277 00:10:30,560 --> 00:10:32,045 No, I'm fine. 278 00:10:32,183 --> 00:10:35,013 The doctor is teaching me to applaud with my feet. 279 00:10:35,151 --> 00:10:37,153 How did you know I was here? 280 00:10:37,291 --> 00:10:38,327 Paul. He called me. 281 00:10:38,465 --> 00:10:39,984 Yeah. Don't worry. I called everybody. 282 00:10:40,122 --> 00:10:42,124 I called Patrick and Jamie and my parents and Gus-- 283 00:10:42,262 --> 00:10:43,470 Gus?! 284 00:10:43,608 --> 00:10:45,196 Gus? You called Gus? 285 00:10:45,334 --> 00:10:47,094 Well, he was married to you for over 30 years. 286 00:10:47,232 --> 00:10:48,509 Whoa, whoa, whoa. Wait a minute. 287 00:10:48,648 --> 00:10:50,339 Let's just review this. 288 00:10:50,477 --> 00:10:53,687 You run me over, and then you call my ex-husband 289 00:10:53,825 --> 00:10:57,139 and my boyfriend to meet me here in the same room here? 290 00:10:57,277 --> 00:10:58,761 Well, I thought at a time like this, 291 00:10:58,899 --> 00:11:01,143 your husband and your boyfriend would possibly-- 292 00:11:01,281 --> 00:11:04,249 Wrong. Okay, wrong. So I got it wrong. Okay, wrong. 293 00:11:04,387 --> 00:11:06,562 Well, maybe there's a silver lining here, Theresa. 294 00:11:06,700 --> 00:11:09,082 Maybe the fates have conspired to lift the veil of secrecy 295 00:11:09,220 --> 00:11:10,670 under which you've hidden our love. 296 00:11:10,808 --> 00:11:13,603 See? So it could be a good thing. 297 00:11:13,742 --> 00:11:15,605 But it could be not. Okay, okay. 298 00:11:15,744 --> 00:11:17,849 Has no one brought you flowers? 299 00:11:17,987 --> 00:11:19,437 Well, then I'm off to the gift shop, 300 00:11:19,575 --> 00:11:22,095 soon to make a beautiful, if currently teapot-shaped girl 301 00:11:22,233 --> 00:11:23,890 a wee bit happier. 302 00:11:24,028 --> 00:11:25,754 Can I get anything for anyone else? 303 00:11:25,892 --> 00:11:27,617 If you see a candy machine, I haven't eaten 304 00:11:27,756 --> 00:11:28,929 since I hit her. Paul! 305 00:11:30,724 --> 00:11:32,208 He offered. 306 00:11:32,346 --> 00:11:34,210 My darlin'... 307 00:11:42,771 --> 00:11:45,152 Sweetie, are you ready? For what? 308 00:11:45,290 --> 00:11:47,430 Theresa, Jamie and I have something we want to say-- 309 00:11:47,568 --> 00:11:49,294 Are you kidding me? Well, why not? 310 00:11:49,432 --> 00:11:50,710 You hit her with a car. 311 00:11:50,848 --> 00:11:52,401 One would argue all the more reason. 312 00:11:52,539 --> 00:11:55,231 All right. Theresa, it's sort of a-- 313 00:11:55,369 --> 00:11:56,750 Something that we wanted to say. 314 00:11:56,888 --> 00:11:59,201 Frankly, it's the reason we wanted to have lunch with you. 315 00:11:59,339 --> 00:12:00,547 I hope you like it. 316 00:12:00,685 --> 00:12:02,618 W-w-we hope it makes you happy. 317 00:12:02,756 --> 00:12:04,309 It makes us happy to say. 318 00:12:04,447 --> 00:12:06,829 You're pregnant. You're gonna have another baby? 319 00:12:06,967 --> 00:12:08,624 Oh, see-- Oh, that's incredible! 320 00:12:08,762 --> 00:12:09,729 You're gonna have-- 321 00:12:09,867 --> 00:12:11,523 Hello in there. Oh, that's wonderful. 322 00:12:11,661 --> 00:12:13,905 Oh, Paul...Paul... 323 00:12:14,043 --> 00:12:17,322 you little dickens. 324 00:12:17,460 --> 00:12:18,910 Mom, no. 325 00:12:19,048 --> 00:12:21,533 Not pregnant? Sorry, no. 326 00:12:21,671 --> 00:12:24,191 Okay, then, uh, what was so important 327 00:12:24,329 --> 00:12:26,435 that you wanted to tell me? 328 00:12:31,302 --> 00:12:32,993 We love you. 329 00:12:35,651 --> 00:12:36,825 Excuse me? 330 00:12:36,963 --> 00:12:38,412 We love you. 331 00:12:38,550 --> 00:12:40,035 You love me. 332 00:12:40,173 --> 00:12:41,588 Yes. We love you. 333 00:12:41,726 --> 00:12:45,005 That's-- That's what we wanted to say to you. 334 00:12:45,143 --> 00:12:46,731 You love me. 335 00:12:48,733 --> 00:12:49,665 And you... 336 00:12:49,803 --> 00:12:51,460 You love me too? 337 00:12:51,598 --> 00:12:54,601 Yeah, but he's the one who wanted to tell you now. 338 00:12:54,739 --> 00:12:56,637 That is just so... 339 00:12:56,776 --> 00:12:59,744 cheap. 340 00:12:59,882 --> 00:13:02,885 Here you get me all excited about being a grandmother again, 341 00:13:03,023 --> 00:13:07,200 and then after knocking me clear into next week with a car, 342 00:13:07,338 --> 00:13:10,720 you try to make up for it by telling me that you love me? 343 00:13:10,859 --> 00:13:13,171 You love me? You ought to be ashamed! 344 00:13:13,309 --> 00:13:14,483 I'm ashamed. 345 00:13:14,621 --> 00:13:15,795 I am a little ashamed. Shame! 346 00:13:15,933 --> 00:13:18,314 There's a lot of shame. I feel-- Shame! 347 00:13:18,452 --> 00:13:19,764 People who need shame come to me-- 348 00:13:19,902 --> 00:13:22,008 Shame! Shame! Get your shame! 349 00:13:22,146 --> 00:13:24,251 Shame on you! I have the shame. 350 00:13:24,389 --> 00:13:25,494 Ah. 351 00:13:25,632 --> 00:13:27,496 Theresa, how ya doin'? 352 00:13:27,634 --> 00:13:29,601 Gus, how nice of you to come. 353 00:13:29,739 --> 00:13:30,879 Well, of all the-- 354 00:13:31,017 --> 00:13:32,363 Oh, for God's sake, 355 00:13:32,501 --> 00:13:34,468 some sicko runs you over with a car 356 00:13:34,606 --> 00:13:35,987 and I wouldn't come over here? 357 00:13:36,125 --> 00:13:39,715 Who was the degenerate piece of garbage, anyway? 358 00:13:39,853 --> 00:13:41,096 Hi, Paul. Hi, honey. 359 00:13:41,234 --> 00:13:43,063 Hi. Hi, Daddy. 360 00:13:43,201 --> 00:13:44,651 Nice seeing you. Now you should go. 361 00:13:44,789 --> 00:13:46,446 I'm not supposed to have a lot of visitors. 362 00:13:46,584 --> 00:13:48,137 Ah, Theresa, here, for you. 363 00:13:48,275 --> 00:13:50,968 Oh. 364 00:13:51,106 --> 00:13:54,005 Lookie here. 365 00:13:54,143 --> 00:13:56,318 A delivery boy with flowers. 366 00:13:58,009 --> 00:13:59,045 Delivery boy? 367 00:13:59,183 --> 00:14:01,530 Uh, Paul, would you sign for them, please, 368 00:14:01,668 --> 00:14:03,463 and then just give this nice delivery boy 369 00:14:03,601 --> 00:14:04,809 with the flowers a tip? 370 00:14:04,947 --> 00:14:07,053 Oh, Theresa, I wish you would just tell Gus-- 371 00:14:07,191 --> 00:14:10,366 You know what? I just-- I-I-I'm allergic to flowers. 372 00:14:10,504 --> 00:14:12,265 Why don't we take them to the nurses station? 373 00:14:12,403 --> 00:14:13,507 I'm terribly allergic. 374 00:14:13,645 --> 00:14:17,442 Ah-choo. Ah-choo. Ah-choo. Ah-choo. 375 00:14:17,580 --> 00:14:19,341 Gee, I thought the flowers were lovely. 376 00:14:19,479 --> 00:14:22,585 Daddy, um, since we have a quiet moment, 377 00:14:22,723 --> 00:14:25,174 there's something that Paul and I wanted to say to you today, 378 00:14:25,312 --> 00:14:26,762 something that goes unsaid. 379 00:14:26,900 --> 00:14:28,384 I don't think we say it enough, 380 00:14:28,522 --> 00:14:32,181 but we want you to know that we love you... very much. 381 00:14:32,319 --> 00:14:33,424 We love you, Gus. 382 00:14:35,184 --> 00:14:36,841 Hey, well, I love you too. 383 00:14:36,979 --> 00:14:39,119 Well, that's nice to hear. So super. 384 00:14:39,257 --> 00:14:40,603 Yeah. Ha, ha, ha. 385 00:14:40,741 --> 00:14:42,916 Well... Hey, you know... 386 00:14:43,054 --> 00:14:44,366 [KISSES] 387 00:15:02,349 --> 00:15:03,695 Was there anything else? 388 00:15:03,833 --> 00:15:06,353 No. That was it. That was it. 389 00:15:07,630 --> 00:15:08,528 Hello. 390 00:15:08,666 --> 00:15:09,874 Hi. 391 00:15:10,012 --> 00:15:13,222 I'm looking for a redhead in a thorax restrainer. 392 00:15:13,360 --> 00:15:15,845 I'm lookin' for a pretty young woman in a white suit 393 00:15:15,984 --> 00:15:17,537 who knows the way to the cafeteria. 394 00:15:17,675 --> 00:15:18,607 Follow me. 395 00:15:18,745 --> 00:15:20,160 Ah. What's good down there? 396 00:15:20,298 --> 00:15:22,162 Well, Monday is sloppy joe day. 397 00:15:22,300 --> 00:15:25,786 Oh! Thank heavens it's Monday. 398 00:15:25,925 --> 00:15:28,513 How cute is my dad? 399 00:15:28,651 --> 00:15:31,827 Cute. Cute and also a terrific kisser. 400 00:15:31,965 --> 00:15:33,829 [THUMPING AT DOOR] BOTH: Come in. 401 00:15:33,967 --> 00:15:35,555 [THUMPING] Come on in, please. 402 00:15:35,693 --> 00:15:38,006 Come-- Oh, my God. 403 00:15:38,144 --> 00:15:39,421 PAUL: Oh. Oh. 404 00:15:39,559 --> 00:15:41,802 Oh. 405 00:15:44,840 --> 00:15:45,875 Where's Patrick? 406 00:15:46,014 --> 00:15:48,085 He's sulking. He's upset with me. 407 00:15:48,223 --> 00:15:49,810 Mom, don't you think it's about time 408 00:15:49,949 --> 00:15:51,743 that you told Daddy about Patrick? 409 00:15:51,881 --> 00:15:54,470 Look, if he knew I was seeing somebody that young, 410 00:15:54,608 --> 00:15:56,093 he would be deeply hurt. 411 00:15:56,231 --> 00:15:58,233 How does Patrick feel about being kept a secret? 412 00:15:58,371 --> 00:15:59,717 He's deeply hurt. 413 00:15:59,855 --> 00:16:01,684 So? I know, I know. 414 00:16:01,822 --> 00:16:03,479 It's a terrible situation! 415 00:16:03,617 --> 00:16:05,067 Would you like the male perspective? 416 00:16:05,205 --> 00:16:07,000 No! Of course. 417 00:16:10,521 --> 00:16:13,869 A mother gives birth to a child. 418 00:16:14,007 --> 00:16:15,905 She nurtures that child. 419 00:16:16,044 --> 00:16:17,907 She takes him to her bosom. 420 00:16:18,046 --> 00:16:20,945 She puts him back because he's allergic, but who could know? 421 00:16:22,878 --> 00:16:24,776 That child grows up... 422 00:16:24,914 --> 00:16:26,226 takes a wife... 423 00:16:26,364 --> 00:16:29,712 and then that child and that wife betray that mother 424 00:16:29,850 --> 00:16:33,233 with an almost Quebec-ian coldness. 425 00:16:33,371 --> 00:16:35,718 Who is that mother?! 426 00:16:35,856 --> 00:16:37,927 I! 427 00:16:38,066 --> 00:16:40,620 Am. 428 00:16:40,758 --> 00:16:43,312 Well spoken, Sylvia. Thank you. 429 00:16:43,450 --> 00:16:44,693 We are so sorry 430 00:16:44,831 --> 00:16:47,075 that you were struck by an automobile. 431 00:16:47,213 --> 00:16:49,560 Here's some mint patties. 432 00:16:52,390 --> 00:16:54,944 And we'll leave you with these... 433 00:16:55,083 --> 00:16:57,533 people. 434 00:16:57,671 --> 00:16:59,535 She rehearsed that all the way here. 435 00:16:59,673 --> 00:17:01,710 The best time was in the elevator. 436 00:17:01,848 --> 00:17:03,470 Tell her she was very good. 437 00:17:03,608 --> 00:17:04,954 Excuse us. Hold on a second. 438 00:17:05,093 --> 00:17:06,163 Wait a second. Mom... 439 00:17:06,301 --> 00:17:08,027 Dad. What-- What's goin' on? 440 00:17:08,165 --> 00:17:10,546 It's not like we're sitting home wondering if you love us. 441 00:17:10,684 --> 00:17:12,686 But so long as you're going from door to door-- 442 00:17:12,824 --> 00:17:15,551 Oh, for crying out loud. Oh, my God. 443 00:17:15,689 --> 00:17:17,519 We wanted to see, you know, what it'd be like 444 00:17:17,657 --> 00:17:19,797 if we lived this day as if it were our last day. 445 00:17:19,935 --> 00:17:22,317 We wanted to tell everybody that we loved them. 446 00:17:22,455 --> 00:17:25,389 Everybody, but not exactly everybody. 447 00:17:25,527 --> 00:17:27,805 We were saving the best for last. 448 00:17:27,943 --> 00:17:29,117 What? You and Pop. 449 00:17:29,255 --> 00:17:31,360 We were saving the best for last. 450 00:17:31,498 --> 00:17:33,397 Really? Yes. 451 00:17:33,535 --> 00:17:35,019 So you really do love us. 452 00:17:35,157 --> 00:17:36,986 Yes! Of course. 453 00:17:37,125 --> 00:17:38,505 You love us the best. 454 00:17:38,643 --> 00:17:40,473 Oh, we... we love you the last. 455 00:17:40,611 --> 00:17:42,130 The best! The best! Of course! 456 00:17:42,268 --> 00:17:44,442 Yes, the best! [BURT CHUCKLING] 457 00:17:44,580 --> 00:17:46,548 Yeah. Of course. 458 00:17:46,686 --> 00:17:48,239 Tell her again how you liked the speech. 459 00:17:48,377 --> 00:17:49,447 Oh, we loved the speech, Ma. 460 00:17:49,585 --> 00:17:52,140 I was much better in the elevator. 461 00:17:52,278 --> 00:17:54,107 All right. Love you. 462 00:17:58,836 --> 00:18:00,424 Hi, honey. How you doin'? 463 00:18:00,562 --> 00:18:03,772 Oh, Gus. I got the mother of all itches. 464 00:18:03,910 --> 00:18:05,946 It's right, uh...oh! Oh, yeah. 465 00:18:06,085 --> 00:18:07,465 How did you know? 466 00:18:07,603 --> 00:18:09,812 Oh, hey, listen... [CHUCKLES] 467 00:18:09,950 --> 00:18:12,815 Gus, sit down. 468 00:18:12,953 --> 00:18:14,472 [CHUCKLES] 469 00:18:17,130 --> 00:18:19,650 I'm seeing someone. 470 00:18:19,788 --> 00:18:22,653 Hmm. Well... I figured. 471 00:18:22,791 --> 00:18:23,826 Really? 472 00:18:23,964 --> 00:18:25,863 Oh, come on, doll. 473 00:18:26,001 --> 00:18:28,728 You? You're one in a million. 474 00:18:28,866 --> 00:18:30,109 You too, Gus. 475 00:18:30,247 --> 00:18:31,869 Ah... 476 00:18:32,007 --> 00:18:34,872 Who is it, the young guy with the bowl of flowers? 477 00:18:35,010 --> 00:18:36,011 Yeah. 478 00:18:36,149 --> 00:18:37,668 Oh. Yeah. 479 00:18:37,806 --> 00:18:39,187 Well, he's young. 480 00:18:39,325 --> 00:18:40,912 Yeah, he's a... young guy. 481 00:18:41,050 --> 00:18:42,362 Yeah. 482 00:18:42,500 --> 00:18:44,951 Oh, he'll get over that. 483 00:18:46,918 --> 00:18:49,956 Is he, uh... kind to you? 484 00:18:50,094 --> 00:18:52,683 Yes. 485 00:18:52,821 --> 00:18:53,994 Good. 486 00:18:54,133 --> 00:18:55,548 Good. 487 00:18:55,686 --> 00:18:57,239 You okay? 488 00:18:57,377 --> 00:18:58,965 Yeah, I'm okay. Sure. 489 00:18:59,103 --> 00:19:00,484 Good. Good. 490 00:19:00,622 --> 00:19:02,037 [CHUCKLES] 491 00:19:02,175 --> 00:19:03,901 Well, I gotta get going. 492 00:19:04,039 --> 00:19:07,353 Uh, it was great to see you, doll. 493 00:19:07,491 --> 00:19:08,526 Hey, Gus. 494 00:19:12,012 --> 00:19:13,393 Uh-huh. 495 00:19:13,531 --> 00:19:15,464 Oh, yeah. 496 00:19:15,602 --> 00:19:17,742 It's the sloppy joes. 497 00:19:22,575 --> 00:19:24,542 Bye. 498 00:19:27,200 --> 00:19:28,891 Gus. Ah, Patrick. 499 00:19:29,029 --> 00:19:30,030 You better go right on in. 500 00:19:30,169 --> 00:19:31,066 She's waiting for you. 501 00:19:31,204 --> 00:19:34,103 Thank you. Yeah, sure. And you two. 502 00:19:34,242 --> 00:19:36,485 I guess I'll be seeing the pair of you soon, right? 503 00:19:36,623 --> 00:19:38,246 Sure. I love you, Daddy. 504 00:19:38,384 --> 00:19:41,318 Yeah, you mentioned that. I love you too. 505 00:19:41,456 --> 00:19:42,767 We love you, Gus. 506 00:19:42,905 --> 00:19:44,424 All right, Paul, all right. 507 00:19:45,805 --> 00:19:47,082 And listen, remember, 508 00:19:47,220 --> 00:19:48,704 if they ever catch the guy 509 00:19:48,842 --> 00:19:50,327 that ran her over, you know, 510 00:19:50,465 --> 00:19:51,983 you and me together, right? 511 00:19:52,121 --> 00:19:53,778 Yeah, you bet. 512 00:19:57,057 --> 00:19:58,783 Can I say one thing? Yeah. 513 00:19:58,921 --> 00:20:00,337 I love you. 514 00:20:00,475 --> 00:20:04,893 Have you learnt nothing in the last seven hours? 515 00:20:05,031 --> 00:20:07,620 [♪♪♪♪♪] 516 00:20:14,109 --> 00:20:15,593 [DOOR OPENS] Ira. 517 00:20:15,731 --> 00:20:17,423 Yeah. What are you doin'? 518 00:20:17,561 --> 00:20:19,735 I'm stealing. 519 00:20:19,873 --> 00:20:20,840 Why? 520 00:20:20,978 --> 00:20:22,186 Why? Because the finale 521 00:20:22,324 --> 00:20:24,809 is a week from next Monday, and I thought I'd take 522 00:20:24,947 --> 00:20:26,673 some of Paulie and Jamie's stuff, you know? 523 00:20:26,811 --> 00:20:28,296 You don't think Ron Howard 524 00:20:28,434 --> 00:20:31,402 would've loved to have stolen the Fonzie's jacket? 525 00:20:32,783 --> 00:20:35,130 Finale? What do you mean, finale? 526 00:20:35,268 --> 00:20:37,891 The finale. It's the last show. 527 00:20:38,029 --> 00:20:40,204 Nat, listen to me. 528 00:20:40,342 --> 00:20:42,551 After this episode, there's only two more episodes, 529 00:20:42,689 --> 00:20:44,312 then Mad About You is over, my friend. 530 00:20:44,450 --> 00:20:46,831 You know, finito.Done. 531 00:20:51,215 --> 00:20:52,734 [CRYING] 532 00:21:05,160 --> 00:21:07,058 Closed Captions: Sarah Cannon 36572

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