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1
00:00:02,044 --> 00:00:05,047
? Upbeat theme playing ?
2
00:00:05,048 --> 00:00:08,968
? Ba-ba-ba-ba, ba-ba-ba-ba ?
3
00:00:08,969 --> 00:00:12,556
? Ba-ba, da-da-da-da-da-da
da-da-da ?
4
00:00:15,100 --> 00:00:15,934
?
5
00:00:15,935 --> 00:00:16,935
- Hi.
6
00:00:16,936 --> 00:00:19,688
I'm Nick. I think I'm your dad.
7
00:00:21,022 --> 00:00:23,357
- What? How did...
8
00:00:23,358 --> 00:00:25,776
- I have a camera
outside my shop.
9
00:00:25,777 --> 00:00:27,695
?
10
00:00:27,696 --> 00:00:29,446
- Greetings, sir.
11
00:00:29,447 --> 00:00:31,449
It's me, your long-lost
daughter... Ah!
12
00:00:33,118 --> 00:00:34,660
What up, Nick?
13
00:00:34,661 --> 00:00:36,871
Who's my daddy?
You're my daddy.
14
00:00:37,747 --> 00:00:39,749
A little bit about me. I...
15
00:00:40,542 --> 00:00:42,543
have a great life!
Lot of good friends.
16
00:00:42,544 --> 00:00:45,713
We get drinks at this place called
Pemberton's, like, every night.
17
00:00:45,714 --> 00:00:47,465
But not, like, in
a problematic way.
18
00:00:48,758 --> 00:00:52,262
- So, how am I your dad exactly?
19
00:00:52,721 --> 00:00:55,891
- [sighs] My mom
is Lori Tompkins.
20
00:00:56,308 --> 00:00:58,934
You guys met at Lollapalooza '91
21
00:00:58,935 --> 00:01:00,896
and conceived me to Jane Says.
22
00:01:01,771 --> 00:01:04,482
No judgment. I have sex
to weird songs, too.
23
00:01:05,567 --> 00:01:07,610
You're my dad. I don't
have sex. VALENTINA: What?
24
00:01:07,611 --> 00:01:09,403
- Wait. I'm 30. I do.
25
00:01:09,404 --> 00:01:11,364
Anyway, surprise!
26
00:01:13,199 --> 00:01:14,451
- Wow.
27
00:01:15,827 --> 00:01:17,578
You're my daughter.
28
00:01:17,579 --> 00:01:19,456
With Lollapalooza Lori.
29
00:01:19,956 --> 00:01:22,750
- [awkward laugh] I'm sorry
to spring this on you.
30
00:01:22,751 --> 00:01:24,627
- Oh. No, don't be.
31
00:01:24,628 --> 00:01:26,712
I never had a daughter before.
32
00:01:26,713 --> 00:01:27,713
Or a son.
33
00:01:27,714 --> 00:01:30,424
I had a cat once.
That's different.
34
00:01:30,425 --> 00:01:32,552
I think. Wouldn't really know.
35
00:01:34,221 --> 00:01:35,804
- Um...
36
00:01:35,805 --> 00:01:37,056
Wanna get a drink or something?
37
00:01:37,057 --> 00:01:38,141
- I'd love that.
38
00:01:41,394 --> 00:01:42,896
- I'll get you a
beer, Mr. Sophie.
39
00:01:44,773 --> 00:01:47,274
- I have a better
idea. Why don't I, uh,
40
00:01:47,275 --> 00:01:49,818
come to your shop tomorrow,
and we can have lunch?
41
00:01:49,819 --> 00:01:51,695
- Great. Great.
42
00:01:51,696 --> 00:01:54,949
But, no family discount. You can
thank your step-grandma for that.
43
00:01:54,950 --> 00:01:57,827
I caught her reselling chili
dogs at her old age home, so.
44
00:02:01,248 --> 00:02:04,708
?
45
00:02:04,709 --> 00:02:06,211
- Hey, man.
46
00:02:08,755 --> 00:02:10,006
- Hey...
47
00:02:10,549 --> 00:02:11,591
What's up?
48
00:02:13,134 --> 00:02:15,512
- Not... much...
49
00:02:16,680 --> 00:02:17,930
SOPHIE'S SON: Why
are they being weird?
50
00:02:17,931 --> 00:02:20,975
- It's just Bro
Speak. I'll translate.
51
00:02:20,976 --> 00:02:22,216
- Whatcha got going on tonight?
52
00:02:24,771 --> 00:02:27,732
- Not much. Just... the usual.
53
00:02:30,902 --> 00:02:34,739
- I was gonna go check out that new bar
on Mercer Street, if you wanna tag along.
54
00:02:39,828 --> 00:02:40,828
- Sure.
55
00:02:45,834 --> 00:02:48,502
- Hey, friends!
56
00:02:48,503 --> 00:02:51,213
Great news. [drumming]
57
00:02:51,214 --> 00:02:53,716
Swish is cheating on me!
58
00:02:53,717 --> 00:02:56,093
- Uh, congrats?
59
00:02:56,094 --> 00:02:58,721
- This is exactly what I
was hoping would happen!
60
00:02:58,722 --> 00:03:02,016
He'd lose interest, meet
someone new, and dump my ass.
61
00:03:02,017 --> 00:03:04,101
- How do you know
he's cheating on you?
62
00:03:04,102 --> 00:03:05,352
?
63
00:03:05,353 --> 00:03:07,021
- Um, hey, babe, I-I
gotta get going. Um,
64
00:03:07,022 --> 00:03:09,649
my study group needs
me for... finals.
65
00:03:10,233 --> 00:03:12,694
- Your study group
is named Ally?
66
00:03:13,236 --> 00:03:16,322
- Um, yep! It stands for...
67
00:03:16,323 --> 00:03:20,118
Americans Learning
Linguistics... Yummy?
68
00:03:20,660 --> 00:03:22,661
?
69
00:03:22,662 --> 00:03:25,502
- Well, I am gonna miss being blinded
by his grandmother's rock, though.
70
00:03:26,583 --> 00:03:30,170
- Oh, I know just how we can celebrate
your engagement's imminent demise.
71
00:03:30,670 --> 00:03:32,087
A fancy open house!
72
00:03:32,088 --> 00:03:33,590
[Valentina gasps]
73
00:03:34,382 --> 00:03:37,134
- Oh, we have to go to this.
- Mm-hmm!
74
00:03:37,135 --> 00:03:40,095
- Three floors.
Walk-in wine fridge?!
75
00:03:40,096 --> 00:03:43,307
- And a servant's quarters!
These people are so fancy,
76
00:03:43,308 --> 00:03:45,267
they don't even know you
can't say servant anymore.
77
00:03:45,268 --> 00:03:48,103
?
78
00:03:48,104 --> 00:03:50,606
[quiet bar chatter]
- What can I get you guys?
79
00:03:50,607 --> 00:03:52,942
- Two gin martinis
with a twist, please.
80
00:03:52,943 --> 00:03:55,110
- Oh. And where are we from?
81
00:03:55,111 --> 00:03:57,572
- Well, London...
- Originally Cincinnati.
82
00:03:59,407 --> 00:04:02,576
- Did I hear you say you're from London?
- Uh, yes, I am.
83
00:04:02,577 --> 00:04:04,578
I'm Charlie. This
is my friend Jesse.
84
00:04:04,579 --> 00:04:06,747
He is from Cincinnati.
[women giggling]
85
00:04:06,748 --> 00:04:10,126
- Which is the London
of Ohio! [laughs]
86
00:04:11,294 --> 00:04:13,212
- [giggles] Can you
say Cincinnati again?
87
00:04:13,213 --> 00:04:15,130
It sounds so elegant
when you say it.
88
00:04:15,131 --> 00:04:16,382
- Cincinnati.
89
00:04:16,383 --> 00:04:17,633
[giggling]
90
00:04:17,634 --> 00:04:19,552
- You know, I call soda "pop."
91
00:04:19,553 --> 00:04:21,721
If that does
anything... for you.
92
00:04:22,806 --> 00:04:24,807
?
93
00:04:24,808 --> 00:04:26,517
- Hey. How'd it
go with your dad?
94
00:04:26,518 --> 00:04:27,769
- Mm...
95
00:04:28,687 --> 00:04:30,229
It started off kinda awkward.
96
00:04:30,230 --> 00:04:33,524
Okay. Favorite movie
on three. One! Two!
97
00:04:33,525 --> 00:04:34,985
Christmas with the Kranks!
98
00:04:35,735 --> 00:04:36,986
[laughs]
99
00:04:36,987 --> 00:04:39,489
- I'm sorry. I-I don't
really watch movies.
100
00:04:40,365 --> 00:04:42,117
Have you ever seen
Jay Leno's Garage?
101
00:04:42,742 --> 00:04:43,742
?
102
00:04:43,743 --> 00:04:45,202
- Hm?
- Oh.
103
00:04:45,203 --> 00:04:46,954
- They say it's genetic!
104
00:04:46,955 --> 00:04:48,039
You try.
105
00:04:49,958 --> 00:04:50,959
[exhales]
106
00:04:53,003 --> 00:04:54,170
- Nope. Can't do it.
107
00:04:56,256 --> 00:04:57,799
?
108
00:04:58,341 --> 00:04:59,843
- Sophie... [sighs]
109
00:05:00,886 --> 00:05:04,179
You can't expect to bond with
your dad after just one day.
110
00:05:04,180 --> 00:05:07,516
It took me, like, 30 years for
me and my dad to find our thing,
111
00:05:07,517 --> 00:05:08,893
which we did last May.
112
00:05:08,894 --> 00:05:10,645
We both hate wind chimes.
113
00:05:11,563 --> 00:05:12,563
- You love wind chimes.
114
00:05:12,564 --> 00:05:15,692
- Please don't tell my
dad. It's all we have.
115
00:05:17,694 --> 00:05:19,403
- Actually, um,
116
00:05:19,404 --> 00:05:22,198
I did figure out one
way for us to bond.
117
00:05:22,782 --> 00:05:23,783
That's delicious.
118
00:05:25,243 --> 00:05:26,578
How is this place not packed?
119
00:05:26,953 --> 00:05:28,913
- Um, business has
been a little slow
120
00:05:28,914 --> 00:05:30,916
since they closed the
bar across the street.
121
00:05:31,416 --> 00:05:33,710
- Hm.
- We used to do huge numbers late nights.
122
00:05:34,419 --> 00:05:36,213
What can I say?
Drunks love dogs.
123
00:05:37,464 --> 00:05:38,839
- Okay.
124
00:05:38,840 --> 00:05:41,508
So, if the drunks
won't come to the dogs,
125
00:05:41,509 --> 00:05:44,470
then we need to bring
the dogs to the drunks.
126
00:05:44,471 --> 00:05:46,430
We're doing a pop-up here!
127
00:05:46,431 --> 00:05:50,143
Now, you say "yes." And I
say, "yay!" And then, we hug.
128
00:05:51,895 --> 00:05:53,438
You wanna just skip to the hug?
129
00:05:54,272 --> 00:05:56,107
?
130
00:06:00,278 --> 00:06:01,528
- There you are!
131
00:06:01,529 --> 00:06:03,656
Thanks for leaving me alone
with the giggle squad.
132
00:06:03,657 --> 00:06:06,659
They made me record a voice
memo as sexy Paddington bear.
133
00:06:06,660 --> 00:06:08,661
- What a dumb idea.
- Yeah, you're telling me.
134
00:06:08,662 --> 00:06:09,787
Paddington isn't sexy.
135
00:06:09,788 --> 00:06:11,622
I mean, he's snuggly and
sensual, maybe, but he...
136
00:06:11,623 --> 00:06:14,792
- No! I mean me trying to meet women
with you and your stupid charming accent.
137
00:06:14,793 --> 00:06:17,586
It's like I'm invisible.
- Trust me, Jesse, this accent is a curse.
138
00:06:17,587 --> 00:06:19,129
- Ugh.
- It's all people see.
139
00:06:19,130 --> 00:06:21,507
I'm just some British thing
for women to play with,
140
00:06:21,508 --> 00:06:22,883
like a-a statue of Big Ben
141
00:06:22,884 --> 00:06:25,052
or a tea towel with
Duchess Kate's face on it.
142
00:06:25,053 --> 00:06:26,763
- What is a tea towel?
143
00:06:27,764 --> 00:06:28,973
- I hate this country.
144
00:06:28,974 --> 00:06:30,224
- Look, hey, here's a thought.
145
00:06:30,225 --> 00:06:32,518
How about I be British
and you be American. Okay?
146
00:06:32,519 --> 00:06:34,603
Women will all flock to
me, and you can be the guy
147
00:06:34,604 --> 00:06:36,231
pretending to do
something on his phone.
148
00:06:36,731 --> 00:06:37,731
- That's brilliant.
149
00:06:37,732 --> 00:06:41,236
- [as Michael Caine]: I think you'll find
that my accent's top-notch, old sport.
150
00:06:42,279 --> 00:06:44,738
- Are you doing Michael Caine?
You're a young man, Jesse!
151
00:06:44,739 --> 00:06:47,367
- [more realistic accent]: Right
you are, bruv. Fancy another gin?
152
00:06:47,784 --> 00:06:50,704
- [American accent]: Not bad, my main man.
- Not bad yourself, mate.
153
00:06:51,162 --> 00:06:52,413
- Hi.
- Hello.
154
00:06:52,414 --> 00:06:54,624
- I'm Angelina. This
is my friend Julia.
155
00:06:55,000 --> 00:06:58,586
I love your accent. Where
are you from? [Jesse laughs]
156
00:06:58,587 --> 00:07:00,337
- Who, me? Well, I-I'm...
157
00:07:00,338 --> 00:07:01,298
from...
158
00:07:01,299 --> 00:07:03,049
the town in Love, Actually.
159
00:07:03,967 --> 00:07:05,509
- So, London?
160
00:07:05,510 --> 00:07:06,760
- Oh, blimey!
You've heard of it!
161
00:07:06,761 --> 00:07:08,304
[laughter]
162
00:07:08,305 --> 00:07:10,472
- So, what do you do?
- Uh...
163
00:07:10,473 --> 00:07:14,436
I am a bartender. Yeah.
Uh, an American bartender.
164
00:07:15,061 --> 00:07:18,064
?
165
00:07:19,524 --> 00:07:21,901
- Only 5,000 square feet?
166
00:07:21,902 --> 00:07:23,777
It's a bit tight, no?
167
00:07:23,778 --> 00:07:26,030
- Oh, it is. At this size,
168
00:07:26,031 --> 00:07:28,782
I'd run the risk of
actually seeing my children.
169
00:07:28,783 --> 00:07:31,660
[haughty laughter]
170
00:07:31,661 --> 00:07:33,663
BOTH: Oh...
171
00:07:37,417 --> 00:07:38,418
[gasps]
172
00:07:39,628 --> 00:07:40,921
- Oh, my God.
173
00:07:41,671 --> 00:07:43,590
[whispers]: This is
Missy Moritz's apartment!
174
00:07:44,257 --> 00:07:46,657
The legendary socialite who's
known for wearing amazing hats.
175
00:07:47,219 --> 00:07:48,637
She invented shapewear for dogs.
176
00:07:49,471 --> 00:07:51,555
She wrote that song Ass So Rich.
177
00:07:51,556 --> 00:07:52,723
- Oh!
178
00:07:52,724 --> 00:07:54,475
? Whose ass so rich? ?
179
00:07:54,476 --> 00:07:56,227
? This ass so rich ?
180
00:07:56,228 --> 00:07:57,436
God, I love that song.
181
00:07:57,437 --> 00:07:59,021
[laughs] You don't
expect the bridge
182
00:07:59,022 --> 00:08:01,023
to make you cry, but it does.
- I know.
183
00:08:01,024 --> 00:08:03,317
- Val, should we
go try on her hats?
184
00:08:03,318 --> 00:08:04,838
Or do you think our
heads are too big?
185
00:08:05,445 --> 00:08:08,531
- I brought Vaseline.
- [laughs] You always come prepared!
186
00:08:09,324 --> 00:08:11,033
BOTH: ? Whose ass so rich? ?
187
00:08:11,034 --> 00:08:13,369
? This ass so rich, oh! ?
188
00:08:13,370 --> 00:08:15,079
- Wow.
189
00:08:15,080 --> 00:08:16,413
This place is packed.
190
00:08:16,414 --> 00:08:18,457
It's like Toad the Wet Sprocket
is playing or something.
191
00:08:18,458 --> 00:08:20,668
- I know! I went
into Google Maps,
192
00:08:20,669 --> 00:08:23,129
and I set us as an ATM
location. [Sid laughs]
193
00:08:24,214 --> 00:08:25,464
- Well, hot dog.
194
00:08:25,465 --> 00:08:28,133
- Oh. I think that was
your first dad joke.
195
00:08:28,134 --> 00:08:29,927
- More where that
came from, kid.
196
00:08:29,928 --> 00:08:31,179
- Oh.
197
00:08:32,305 --> 00:08:34,015
- He called me kid!
198
00:08:37,352 --> 00:08:40,479
- Put on some trousers and
say, "Thank you, Charlie."
199
00:08:40,480 --> 00:08:43,649
Julia and Angelina are coming
over here for cocktails.
200
00:08:43,650 --> 00:08:45,276
- Wait, really? Yes!
201
00:08:45,277 --> 00:08:48,279
Oh, man. I'm really into Angie.
She's a teacher. I'm a teacher.
202
00:08:48,280 --> 00:08:51,865
We both turn our chairs around backwards
when it's time to get real with the kids.
203
00:08:51,866 --> 00:08:53,450
- Julie's fantastic.
204
00:08:53,451 --> 00:08:54,994
I could really see
myself dating her.
205
00:08:54,995 --> 00:08:55,954
- Same!
206
00:08:55,955 --> 00:08:58,248
But we're locked into
these stupid accents.
207
00:08:58,915 --> 00:09:00,583
[with accent]: It's a
bit of a pickle, innit?
208
00:09:00,584 --> 00:09:03,127
- [with accent]: Right. We're gonna
have to figure out how to switch back.
209
00:09:03,128 --> 00:09:05,130
I mean, I can't be a
Yankee Doodle forever.
210
00:09:05,922 --> 00:09:07,006
[no accent]: Oh, my God.
211
00:09:07,007 --> 00:09:09,592
What if I have to choose between
my voice and my one true love?
212
00:09:09,593 --> 00:09:10,968
Am I the Little Mermaid?
213
00:09:10,969 --> 00:09:12,887
?
214
00:09:12,888 --> 00:09:15,973
- [gasps] This is the
hat Missy wore to meet
215
00:09:15,974 --> 00:09:17,893
Bo Obama!
216
00:09:19,519 --> 00:09:21,437
- Excuse me!
217
00:09:21,438 --> 00:09:23,188
This room is off-limits!
218
00:09:23,189 --> 00:09:25,024
Which, coincidentally,
is the name of
219
00:09:25,025 --> 00:09:28,027
my new single featuring
Tyga. Tell your friends.
220
00:09:28,028 --> 00:09:29,737
- Oh, my God.
221
00:09:29,738 --> 00:09:31,780
Oh, my God, you
are Missy Moritz!
222
00:09:31,781 --> 00:09:33,949
Oh wow, you're even more
fabulous in real life.
223
00:09:33,950 --> 00:09:35,659
- Aw, I know.
224
00:09:35,660 --> 00:09:37,036
It's actually a problem.
225
00:09:37,037 --> 00:09:40,624
It's so hard to translate
this through a camera.
226
00:09:41,166 --> 00:09:43,292
Anyway, thanks. Kisses. Bye!
227
00:09:43,293 --> 00:09:44,293
- We're such huge fans!
- Ah!
228
00:09:44,294 --> 00:09:46,337
Both of you, get out! Okay?
229
00:09:46,338 --> 00:09:47,630
I will call security,
230
00:09:47,631 --> 00:09:50,591
and they are not afraid to hit
women because they are women.
231
00:09:50,592 --> 00:09:52,885
- [gasps] Love it.
- Change starts from the top down.
232
00:09:52,886 --> 00:09:55,221
- Get out! ELLEN: Oh,
she's yelling at us!
233
00:09:55,222 --> 00:09:57,223
?
234
00:09:57,224 --> 00:09:58,849
? For goodness sake ?
235
00:09:58,850 --> 00:10:02,061
? Hippy Hippy Shake
by Chan Romero ?
236
00:10:02,062 --> 00:10:03,687
- Two dogs!
- Oh yeah! Oh yeah!
237
00:10:03,688 --> 00:10:05,064
? Woo! ?
238
00:10:05,065 --> 00:10:06,440
- And here's some mustard!
- Oh!
239
00:10:06,441 --> 00:10:09,652
- Boom! Boom! And boom!
- Yeah!
240
00:10:09,653 --> 00:10:11,320
- This goes... Heyo!
- Ha!
241
00:10:11,321 --> 00:10:12,905
- Oh!
242
00:10:12,906 --> 00:10:14,658
- Brats.
- 'Kraut.
243
00:10:15,617 --> 00:10:17,826
- Woo! Yes! Ow!
- Boom!
244
00:10:17,827 --> 00:10:19,370
SOPHIE'S SON: This is
making me want a hot dog.
245
00:10:19,371 --> 00:10:21,373
- It's making me want another.
246
00:10:26,753 --> 00:10:29,338
- Tonight was so fun. [giggles]
- So fun.
247
00:10:29,339 --> 00:10:31,840
- I really relished
doing this with you.
248
00:10:31,841 --> 00:10:34,052
- Oh. Are you my dad?
249
00:10:34,469 --> 00:10:37,638
- You know, this pop-up
doesn't have to be a one-off.
250
00:10:37,639 --> 00:10:40,058
We could expand to other
bars. It could be our thing.
251
00:10:40,892 --> 00:10:42,601
I mean, it's a family
business, right?
252
00:10:42,602 --> 00:10:44,937
- Right. Except for
your step-grandma.
253
00:10:44,938 --> 00:10:46,939
She opened a Wienerschnitzel
franchise down the street,
254
00:10:46,940 --> 00:10:48,358
and now, she's dead to me.
255
00:10:49,025 --> 00:10:51,735
- Wow. She sounds
like a real pistol.
256
00:10:51,736 --> 00:10:53,738
- No, she carries a real pistol.
257
00:10:55,740 --> 00:10:56,740
- God.
258
00:10:56,741 --> 00:10:59,118
We look good in other
people's clothes.
259
00:10:59,119 --> 00:11:00,619
- I know. Mm!
260
00:11:00,620 --> 00:11:03,832
I can still feel Missy's baby
snake leather gloves on my...
261
00:11:04,916 --> 00:11:06,625
- Oh, no.
262
00:11:06,626 --> 00:11:09,004
Swish's grandma's
ring. It's gone!
263
00:11:11,214 --> 00:11:14,091
- Shit! I bet it fell off when
we were trying on Missy's stuff!
264
00:11:14,092 --> 00:11:16,677
- Okay, so you lost the
ring. We could get a fake!
265
00:11:16,678 --> 00:11:19,346
I know a gal. These
earrings? Fake.
266
00:11:19,347 --> 00:11:20,890
This ring? Fake.
267
00:11:20,891 --> 00:11:22,975
This anklet? Nonexistent.
268
00:11:22,976 --> 00:11:25,185
Because who the F
would wear an anklet?
269
00:11:25,186 --> 00:11:27,563
- I can't give Swish
back a fake ring!
270
00:11:27,564 --> 00:11:29,064
Come on. We-We gotta
go back to Missy's.
271
00:11:29,065 --> 00:11:31,150
- We can't go back!
We were thrown out!
272
00:11:31,151 --> 00:11:34,194
- Ellen, well-behaved
women rarely make history.
273
00:11:34,195 --> 00:11:36,197
- Ugh. You sound like Jesse.
274
00:11:38,116 --> 00:11:39,742
- I've always wanted to
be a part of a couple
275
00:11:39,743 --> 00:11:42,661
known for their dinner parties
like Ina Garten and Jeff...
276
00:11:42,662 --> 00:11:44,038
- [with accent]: And Jeffrey!
[all agreeing]
277
00:11:44,039 --> 00:11:45,839
- [with accent]: Yeah,
yeah, yeah, that bloke.
278
00:11:46,166 --> 00:11:47,875
[ringtone plays]
279
00:11:47,876 --> 00:11:48,919
'Scuse me, love.
280
00:11:50,295 --> 00:11:51,503
'Ello?
281
00:11:51,504 --> 00:11:52,504
What?!
282
00:11:53,089 --> 00:11:55,257
[no accent]: Well, that
is devastating news.
283
00:11:55,258 --> 00:11:56,926
- What happened to his voice?
284
00:11:56,927 --> 00:11:59,386
- [sighs] Charlie, we can
stop practicing our accents.
285
00:11:59,387 --> 00:12:00,804
They've canceled the play.
286
00:12:00,805 --> 00:12:02,973
- [no accent]: Oh, you've
got to be kidding me.
287
00:12:02,974 --> 00:12:04,642
- Uh, w-what is happening?
288
00:12:04,643 --> 00:12:06,852
- So sorry we couldn't
explain before,
289
00:12:06,853 --> 00:12:09,271
but, uh, these are
our true accents.
290
00:12:09,272 --> 00:12:11,106
You see, we are actors.
291
00:12:11,107 --> 00:12:13,817
- Method actors. And we were
just using those other accents
292
00:12:13,818 --> 00:12:15,486
to prepare for an upcoming play.
293
00:12:15,487 --> 00:12:18,030
- But, uh, now the play's
canceled, so back to normal.
294
00:12:18,031 --> 00:12:19,657
[Charlie and Jesse sigh]
- Oh.
295
00:12:19,658 --> 00:12:22,076
Okay. Crazy.
- Totally.
296
00:12:22,077 --> 00:12:23,994
- So, what was the play?
297
00:12:23,995 --> 00:12:25,663
- It was a...
298
00:12:25,664 --> 00:12:27,790
- A Tale of Two...
- Two Guys?
299
00:12:27,791 --> 00:12:29,875
- Yeah! Comedy, but dark.
300
00:12:29,876 --> 00:12:31,877
- Also, there are
puppets. [laughs]
301
00:12:31,878 --> 00:12:33,212
- This sounds amazing. [gasps]
302
00:12:33,213 --> 00:12:34,630
You guys have to
do a scene for us.
303
00:12:34,631 --> 00:12:36,590
- Oh, my God, yeah, we'd love to.
- But we can't!
304
00:12:36,591 --> 00:12:40,052
- No, we can't...
- Because we need... the puppets.
305
00:12:40,053 --> 00:12:43,013
They're just essential
to the inner lives...
306
00:12:43,014 --> 00:12:44,265
- Would these work?
- Oh, my God.
307
00:12:44,266 --> 00:12:45,474
- I use them with
the kids at school.
308
00:12:45,475 --> 00:12:47,977
- Great. These are...
industry standard.
309
00:12:47,978 --> 00:12:49,061
?
310
00:12:49,062 --> 00:12:51,480
- [gasps] We did it!
311
00:12:51,481 --> 00:12:53,023
We sold out!
312
00:12:53,024 --> 00:12:55,401
Having a business is so easy.
313
00:12:55,402 --> 00:12:57,152
- Sounds about white.
314
00:12:57,153 --> 00:12:59,155
- Uh, Sid, you just
said white instead...
315
00:13:00,907 --> 00:13:01,908
I get it.
316
00:13:03,285 --> 00:13:05,411
?
317
00:13:05,412 --> 00:13:06,912
- Hey!
318
00:13:06,913 --> 00:13:08,998
You thought you could
move dogs on the west side
319
00:13:08,999 --> 00:13:10,332
and I wouldn't
find out about it?
320
00:13:10,333 --> 00:13:13,460
- Gio. I didn't know this
was your territory, I swear.
321
00:13:13,461 --> 00:13:14,628
- You didn't know?
322
00:13:14,629 --> 00:13:16,589
[laughs] This guy!
323
00:13:16,590 --> 00:13:18,048
This guy didn't know!
324
00:13:18,049 --> 00:13:19,508
- Hey!
325
00:13:19,509 --> 00:13:22,803
You can't just come in here and
laugh to no one about my dad.
326
00:13:22,804 --> 00:13:25,097
- Sophie, shh. Yes, he can.
327
00:13:25,098 --> 00:13:27,516
This is Gio Kawalski,
the Polish Hot Dog King.
328
00:13:27,517 --> 00:13:28,893
We're on his turf.
329
00:13:28,894 --> 00:13:31,353
- Well, lucky for you,
I'm in a forgiving mood.
330
00:13:31,354 --> 00:13:33,982
But forgiveness has a price.
331
00:13:34,858 --> 00:13:36,734
- Great. I do one nice
thing for a friend,
332
00:13:36,735 --> 00:13:38,402
now I'm gonna get whacked.
333
00:13:38,403 --> 00:13:39,738
?
334
00:13:43,074 --> 00:13:45,743
- Okay, who is the
Polish Hot Dog King,
335
00:13:45,744 --> 00:13:47,369
and why do we have
to listen to him?
336
00:13:47,370 --> 00:13:49,372
Wha... We're not even Polish!
337
00:13:50,749 --> 00:13:51,791
Are we?
338
00:13:52,500 --> 00:13:53,751
- Have a seat, kid.
339
00:13:53,752 --> 00:13:56,420
Guess it's time for a
little history lesson.
340
00:13:56,421 --> 00:13:57,756
[Sophie scoffs] See,
341
00:13:58,423 --> 00:14:01,592
back in the day, slinging
dogs was a messy business.
342
00:14:01,593 --> 00:14:04,470
Every sausage maker in the
city was in the streets.
343
00:14:04,471 --> 00:14:05,888
It was open warfare.
344
00:14:05,889 --> 00:14:07,848
Carts knocked
over, buns torched,
345
00:14:07,849 --> 00:14:09,308
ketchup in the gutters.
346
00:14:09,309 --> 00:14:11,143
- Sounds...
347
00:14:11,144 --> 00:14:14,313
wasteful?
- Oh, it was. Dangerous, too.
348
00:14:14,314 --> 00:14:16,315
They don't call it
"street food" for nothing.
349
00:14:16,316 --> 00:14:18,567
So the Five Hot Dog
Families had a sitdown.
350
00:14:18,568 --> 00:14:20,654
They divided the city
into territories.
351
00:14:22,322 --> 00:14:24,490
- And we crossed
into Gio's territory.
352
00:14:24,491 --> 00:14:26,283
- That's right. But don't worry.
353
00:14:26,284 --> 00:14:28,619
I just have to give Gio
a taste of our action
354
00:14:28,620 --> 00:14:30,496
to smooth things over. But,
355
00:14:30,497 --> 00:14:32,999
sadly, our pop-up days are done.
356
00:14:34,125 --> 00:14:36,711
Oh, and yeah. We're half Polish.
357
00:14:38,755 --> 00:14:40,757
- Explains my love of pierogies.
358
00:14:42,384 --> 00:14:46,387
- Okay! It's morning
in New York City.
359
00:14:46,388 --> 00:14:47,972
The date?
360
00:14:47,973 --> 00:14:50,349
September 11th,
two thousand and...
361
00:14:50,350 --> 00:14:53,519
- Why would you choose that date?
- Just 2000! Just 2000!
362
00:14:53,520 --> 00:14:55,271
Ha, ha! All is well!
363
00:14:55,272 --> 00:14:57,982
Two... businessmen...
364
00:14:57,983 --> 00:15:00,025
board a subway train.
365
00:15:00,026 --> 00:15:02,319
[with accent]: Crikey,
I love riding the tube!
366
00:15:02,320 --> 00:15:04,906
- [with accent]: And I
love taking the subway!
367
00:15:05,448 --> 00:15:07,658
- W-What are you doing
one year from today?
368
00:15:07,659 --> 00:15:09,868
- [no accent]: What is wrong with you?
- [no accent]: I don't know!
369
00:15:09,869 --> 00:15:11,036
- Oh, my God, I can't do this!
370
00:15:11,037 --> 00:15:13,999
Jesse and I swapped accents
last night to meet women.
371
00:15:14,833 --> 00:15:18,128
But we weren't expecting to meet anyone
that we liked as much as you two.
372
00:15:19,546 --> 00:15:20,964
Do you hate us?
373
00:15:22,007 --> 00:15:24,133
- No. Actually,
374
00:15:24,134 --> 00:15:25,718
it's kind of a funny story.
- Yeah.
375
00:15:25,719 --> 00:15:28,178
When we met, we were in the
middle of a scavenger hunt
376
00:15:28,179 --> 00:15:30,181
for a bachelorette party.
377
00:15:30,724 --> 00:15:32,641
- My bachelorette party.
378
00:15:32,642 --> 00:15:34,393
- What?! You're engaged?
379
00:15:34,394 --> 00:15:37,938
- Number 17 on our list was
"pick up a British guy."
380
00:15:37,939 --> 00:15:40,482
We didn't actually think we'd
ever see you guys again, but...
381
00:15:40,483 --> 00:15:43,110
Well, then, Julia really
liked Charlie, so...
382
00:15:43,111 --> 00:15:45,822
- Do you... still like Charlie?
383
00:15:46,865 --> 00:15:47,866
- I do.
384
00:15:48,783 --> 00:15:50,200
[women laugh softly]
385
00:15:50,201 --> 00:15:53,078
- Julia, I think
I was very clear
386
00:15:53,079 --> 00:15:55,497
in my detailed
bridesmaid's instructions
387
00:15:55,498 --> 00:15:57,750
that no one was to say "I do"
388
00:15:57,751 --> 00:15:59,710
in the month leading
up to my wedding!
389
00:15:59,711 --> 00:16:01,420
- [weak laugh] Well,
Angelina, you know what?
390
00:16:01,421 --> 00:16:03,130
I think this actually
worked out for the best.
391
00:16:03,131 --> 00:16:05,133
Congrats to you and
the lucky fella.
392
00:16:10,305 --> 00:16:11,139
[sighs]
393
00:16:11,140 --> 00:16:13,600
- You're not my
butternut squash ravioli.
394
00:16:14,893 --> 00:16:18,145
Hey, aren't you the two I found
rummaging in my closet earlier?
395
00:16:18,146 --> 00:16:20,232
- She remembers.
[both squeal]
396
00:16:20,857 --> 00:16:24,401
Yes! Your closet is
a dream, by the way.
397
00:16:24,402 --> 00:16:28,155
- I know. It was actually designed
from a dream I had about a closet.
398
00:16:28,156 --> 00:16:29,949
- Oh. Oh, wait, wait,
wait, wait, wait, wait!
399
00:16:29,950 --> 00:16:32,285
I-I left something
behind. A ring.
400
00:16:32,869 --> 00:16:35,663
- Uh... No, I haven't seen it.
401
00:16:35,664 --> 00:16:36,914
Thanks. Kisses. Bye.
402
00:16:36,915 --> 00:16:39,751
- Wait, wait, wait! On your... On
your finger. Th-That's my ring.
403
00:16:40,210 --> 00:16:42,920
- Uh, no, honey.
This is my ring.
404
00:16:42,921 --> 00:16:46,466
And like I said,
thanks. Kisses. Bye.
405
00:16:50,512 --> 00:16:52,471
- Missy Moritz stole your ring!
406
00:16:52,472 --> 00:16:55,182
[both squeal]
- Wait, no, this is bad.
407
00:16:55,183 --> 00:16:57,059
Exciting, but bad!
- Mm.
408
00:16:57,060 --> 00:16:58,852
- What do we do?
- Uh...
409
00:16:58,853 --> 00:17:01,063
Maybe we can trade
her something for it.
410
00:17:01,064 --> 00:17:03,232
All my jewelry is fake, but...
411
00:17:03,233 --> 00:17:05,442
this scrunchie once belonged
412
00:17:05,443 --> 00:17:07,571
to Marcia Gay Harden.
413
00:17:08,863 --> 00:17:09,906
We go to the same gym.
414
00:17:10,532 --> 00:17:13,535
?
415
00:17:14,786 --> 00:17:17,580
- Playtime is over. There's
something I got to do.
416
00:17:17,581 --> 00:17:20,959
- Sophie, you know I hate when
you talk like Liam Neeson.
417
00:17:21,710 --> 00:17:24,503
- I am going to confront
the Polish Hot Dog King
418
00:17:24,504 --> 00:17:26,006
and tell him to
lay off of my dad.
419
00:17:26,673 --> 00:17:28,216
- That sounds really dangerous.
420
00:17:29,342 --> 00:17:31,010
- Luckily,
421
00:17:31,011 --> 00:17:32,803
I've got a unique set of skills.
422
00:17:32,804 --> 00:17:33,971
- No, you don't!
423
00:17:33,972 --> 00:17:36,181
You have a less-than-regular
amount of skill! Soph.
424
00:17:36,182 --> 00:17:38,642
Hey! I'm coming with you!
425
00:17:38,643 --> 00:17:40,185
It's like you're trying
to get me murdered!
426
00:17:40,186 --> 00:17:43,189
?
427
00:17:44,399 --> 00:17:46,692
There. Eating halal on a stick.
428
00:17:46,693 --> 00:17:47,611
- Ha!
429
00:17:47,612 --> 00:17:50,029
And he calls himself
the Hot Dog King?
430
00:17:50,030 --> 00:17:53,073
Well, wait till he
gets a taste of Sophie.
431
00:17:53,074 --> 00:17:55,410
Hey! Gio!
432
00:17:59,497 --> 00:18:01,541
Please don't take down my daddy.
433
00:18:03,585 --> 00:18:05,669
I'm sorry. [crying]
434
00:18:05,670 --> 00:18:08,172
I don't know where
this is coming from!
435
00:18:08,173 --> 00:18:10,674
- It's coming from your
face. Get it together.
436
00:18:10,675 --> 00:18:12,301
[crying] GIO: Lady. Lady.
437
00:18:12,302 --> 00:18:13,636
You gotta stop crying.
438
00:18:13,637 --> 00:18:16,055
Lady, stop crying.
I'm not Gio Kawalski.
439
00:18:16,056 --> 00:18:17,056
- What?
440
00:18:17,057 --> 00:18:20,727
- I was pretending to be the Kawalski
guy for my Uncle Nick as a favor.
441
00:18:22,103 --> 00:18:23,605
My name's Jake.
442
00:18:25,190 --> 00:18:27,567
[laughs] I'm your cousin. So...
443
00:18:29,444 --> 00:18:31,154
- I have a cousin...
444
00:18:32,572 --> 00:18:34,114
[laughs]
445
00:18:34,115 --> 00:18:36,159
?
446
00:18:39,412 --> 00:18:40,914
?
447
00:18:42,499 --> 00:18:46,001
- [sighs] You're not my replacement
butternut squash ravioli.
448
00:18:46,002 --> 00:18:48,838
- Nope. I just wanted
to show you this.
449
00:18:49,839 --> 00:18:53,259
- A picture of you in a terrific
closet with terrible posture?
450
00:18:53,260 --> 00:18:55,094
- No. [sighs]
451
00:18:55,095 --> 00:18:58,097
This. A can of red paint.
452
00:18:58,098 --> 00:18:59,808
Louboutin red.
453
00:19:00,433 --> 00:19:03,478
Now, why would someone
have that in their closet?
454
00:19:04,437 --> 00:19:05,813
- I have no idea what
you're getting at.
455
00:19:05,814 --> 00:19:09,775
- To paint the bottoms of her
janky-ass heels, that's why.
456
00:19:09,776 --> 00:19:13,612
Why you're not buying red bottoms.
You're making red bottoms.
457
00:19:13,613 --> 00:19:15,322
- [scoffs, stammers]
458
00:19:15,323 --> 00:19:18,033
I've never even
seen paint before.
459
00:19:18,034 --> 00:19:20,911
- Ooh, the gossip sites
are gonna love this.
460
00:19:20,912 --> 00:19:23,664
"Cheap Missy Moretz makes
her own knockoff Loubs!"
461
00:19:23,665 --> 00:19:25,708
- No! It's not what
you think, okay?
462
00:19:25,709 --> 00:19:28,294
I don't want to make fake
Louboutins. I have to.
463
00:19:28,295 --> 00:19:29,962
Because they don't
make a size 13!
464
00:19:29,963 --> 00:19:31,422
- Oh! You're a size 13?!
465
00:19:31,423 --> 00:19:33,424
- Shh! Yes! Okay?
466
00:19:33,425 --> 00:19:35,217
That's why I always
wear these amazing hats.
467
00:19:35,218 --> 00:19:37,596
To draw the eye up!
468
00:19:38,179 --> 00:19:39,180
[sighs]
469
00:19:39,764 --> 00:19:41,432
- How about a trade?
470
00:19:41,433 --> 00:19:43,852
Our silence for my ring back.
471
00:19:45,437 --> 00:19:46,855
- And you'll delete that photo?
472
00:19:49,065 --> 00:19:50,108
Done.
473
00:19:51,735 --> 00:19:53,152
- Pleasure doing
business, Missy.
474
00:19:53,153 --> 00:19:55,112
- [sighs] I agree.
475
00:19:55,113 --> 00:19:58,233
You know, I haven't had this much fun
since I got in a fistfight with my nanny.
476
00:19:59,618 --> 00:20:02,161
Hey. I will give
you guys each a hat
477
00:20:02,162 --> 00:20:03,580
for a pint of your blood.
478
00:20:04,873 --> 00:20:07,249
No, no, it's not for anything
weird. Just, you know,
479
00:20:07,250 --> 00:20:09,251
to keep myself looking young.
480
00:20:09,252 --> 00:20:10,878
- Just a pint.
- Uh, Val?
481
00:20:10,879 --> 00:20:12,589
You gotta stop giving
away your blood.
482
00:20:15,175 --> 00:20:16,843
- There she is. Where you been?
483
00:20:17,552 --> 00:20:19,888
- Uh, meeting my cousin.
484
00:20:21,097 --> 00:20:22,932
- Damn it, Jake. [scoffs]
485
00:20:22,933 --> 00:20:24,808
I knew I should've
gotten a real actor.
486
00:20:24,809 --> 00:20:27,270
Guy takes one improv class,
he thinks he's Brando.
487
00:20:28,146 --> 00:20:29,689
Okay, listen.
488
00:20:30,565 --> 00:20:33,359
I'm sorry. I didn't know
how to tell you that...
489
00:20:33,360 --> 00:20:36,028
this pop-up thing was
really fun, but...
490
00:20:36,029 --> 00:20:38,530
I don't wanna shlep into
the city all the time.
491
00:20:38,531 --> 00:20:39,991
I'm happy with my shop.
492
00:20:42,285 --> 00:20:43,328
- Got it.
493
00:20:44,663 --> 00:20:47,748
I guess I was just looking
for a reason for us to...
494
00:20:47,749 --> 00:20:51,544
keep getting to know each other
because we have nothing in common.
495
00:20:51,545 --> 00:20:54,797
And if we don't have a thing,
then maybe we're just going to
496
00:20:54,798 --> 00:20:56,340
drift out of each other's lives.
497
00:20:56,341 --> 00:20:57,842
- Sophie.
498
00:20:59,302 --> 00:21:01,680
We don't need a thing to
be in each other's lives.
499
00:21:03,306 --> 00:21:05,724
Listen. I got divorced young.
500
00:21:05,725 --> 00:21:08,352
I don't date much 'cause
I'm always at the shop.
501
00:21:08,353 --> 00:21:10,354
I was in a toxic
on-and-off thing
502
00:21:10,355 --> 00:21:12,774
with my sauerkraut supplier.
You know Sharon DiMarco?
503
00:21:13,525 --> 00:21:15,735
Why would you? She's
just another lady.
504
00:21:16,278 --> 00:21:17,779
The point is...
505
00:21:18,405 --> 00:21:20,030
I kinda thought it
was too late for me
506
00:21:20,031 --> 00:21:23,410
when it came to the whole
"having a family" thing. But...
507
00:21:24,411 --> 00:21:27,914
you're a real game-changer,
kid. Best kind.
508
00:21:33,003 --> 00:21:36,589
- Why wouldn't you just tell me that
you didn't want to do another pop-up?
509
00:21:36,590 --> 00:21:37,841
- Oh.
510
00:21:38,341 --> 00:21:39,884
I didn't want to
hurt your feelings.
511
00:21:39,885 --> 00:21:41,386
- [scoffs] What?
512
00:21:42,053 --> 00:21:45,431
What kind of a person makes
up such an elaborate lie
513
00:21:45,432 --> 00:21:47,934
just to avoid having a
tough conversation...
514
00:21:51,146 --> 00:21:52,647
Oh, my God.
515
00:21:53,481 --> 00:21:54,482
[scoffs]
516
00:21:54,941 --> 00:21:56,902
It's our first thing in common.
517
00:22:02,657 --> 00:22:06,161
?
518
00:22:06,870 --> 00:22:09,204
[laughing] Last
one of the night.
519
00:22:09,205 --> 00:22:10,707
I saved it for you.
520
00:22:11,374 --> 00:22:13,250
Thanks for letting me pop up.
521
00:22:13,251 --> 00:22:15,170
- Thanks for not
getting me murdered.
522
00:22:15,921 --> 00:22:18,465
- Any time.
- Yeah, you, too.
523
00:22:19,925 --> 00:22:22,468
- Hey, babe. Uh, can
we talk for a second?
524
00:22:22,469 --> 00:22:23,511
- Oh, yeah.
525
00:22:24,054 --> 00:22:27,390
[quietly]: Here we
go. Goodbye, gorgeous.
526
00:22:28,141 --> 00:22:31,810
- Um, Val. Hey, look, I-I know I've
been acting really weird lately,
527
00:22:31,811 --> 00:22:34,104
but there's a reason...
- I know.
528
00:22:34,105 --> 00:22:35,481
And it's okay.
529
00:22:35,482 --> 00:22:37,609
If you have feelings
for this Ally person...
530
00:22:38,068 --> 00:22:39,568
- Ally? [laughs]
531
00:22:39,569 --> 00:22:42,489
I-I don't have feelings for
Ally. She's my party planner.
532
00:22:43,156 --> 00:22:46,408
For our engagement party that's
happening next week! Surprise!
533
00:22:46,409 --> 00:22:48,744
[laughing]
534
00:22:48,745 --> 00:22:50,329
- Am I getting married?
535
00:22:50,330 --> 00:22:51,497
- What?
536
00:22:51,498 --> 00:22:53,332
- We're getting married...
537
00:22:53,333 --> 00:22:54,625
- We're getting married!
538
00:22:54,626 --> 00:22:55,626
[nervous laugh]
539
00:22:55,627 --> 00:22:57,420
?
540
00:22:58,547 --> 00:23:01,550
?
541
00:23:01,600 --> 00:23:06,150
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