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1
00:00:04,738 --> 00:00:07,439
- Oh, god, I'm exhausted.
2
00:00:07,441 --> 00:00:08,574
[groans]
3
00:00:08,576 --> 00:00:09,775
I could fall asleep
right here.
4
00:00:09,777 --> 00:00:13,078
- All right, okay.
I get it.
5
00:00:19,753 --> 00:00:21,687
- Get what?
6
00:00:21,689 --> 00:00:25,157
- You don't got to do
the whole "I'm tired" show.
7
00:00:27,727 --> 00:00:29,161
Don't worry.
8
00:00:29,163 --> 00:00:33,132
I will not be...Bothering you
this evening.
9
00:00:34,534 --> 00:00:35,634
- Wait a minute.
10
00:00:35,636 --> 00:00:36,769
You think this is an act
11
00:00:36,771 --> 00:00:39,405
So I won't have to have sex
with you?
12
00:00:39,407 --> 00:00:41,306
- Not much of an act.
13
00:00:44,511 --> 00:00:47,679
You could jazz it up
with a song or two.
14
00:00:47,681 --> 00:00:49,415
And--and by the way,
15
00:00:49,417 --> 00:00:53,052
I wasn't gonna do anything later
anyway, okay, so...
16
00:00:53,054 --> 00:00:57,589
You don't got to insult me
with your preemptive strike.
17
00:00:57,591 --> 00:00:58,791
- You're nuts.
18
00:00:58,793 --> 00:01:00,159
- Admit it.
19
00:01:00,161 --> 00:01:02,694
You came in here
to tell me you were tired
20
00:01:02,696 --> 00:01:04,129
So I would
leave you alone later.
21
00:01:04,131 --> 00:01:05,130
- I did not!
22
00:01:05,132 --> 00:01:06,131
- Why can't you admit it?
23
00:01:06,133 --> 00:01:07,466
- [sighs]
24
00:01:07,468 --> 00:01:09,501
- Look, you're tired, right?
You had a long day.
25
00:01:09,503 --> 00:01:13,772
So what's the last thing
you would want to do later?
26
00:01:13,774 --> 00:01:16,241
- Well, you might
be right about that.
27
00:01:16,243 --> 00:01:18,577
- Huh. See?
I know.
28
00:01:18,579 --> 00:01:21,413
I know when people
don't want to have sex with me.
29
00:01:23,616 --> 00:01:26,552
You're talkin' to an expert.
30
00:01:26,554 --> 00:01:29,588
- Okay, so let me
ask you this...
31
00:01:29,590 --> 00:01:30,856
How come you're only picking up
32
00:01:30,858 --> 00:01:32,691
That "I'm tired" means
"no sex tonight"?
33
00:01:32,693 --> 00:01:34,326
How come "I'm tired"
doesn't also mean
34
00:01:34,328 --> 00:01:36,261
"gee, I could really use
some help in the kitchen
35
00:01:36,263 --> 00:01:38,097
With all those dishes"?
36
00:01:38,099 --> 00:01:41,200
- What am I,
a mind reader?
37
00:01:43,303 --> 00:01:48,774
Announcer: Another season of
"everybody loves raymond."
38
00:01:48,776 --> 00:01:51,777
[grunting]
39
00:01:55,281 --> 00:01:58,283
[triumphant instrumental music]
40
00:02:00,720 --> 00:02:02,321
[laughter]
41
00:02:20,707 --> 00:02:21,807
- Hey.
42
00:02:21,809 --> 00:02:25,310
- Hi.
43
00:02:25,312 --> 00:02:26,712
- How's your book?
44
00:02:26,714 --> 00:02:28,714
- It's really great.
45
00:02:28,716 --> 00:02:30,182
- Yeah?
46
00:02:30,184 --> 00:02:31,750
- Yeah, it takes place
in the 19th century--
47
00:02:31,752 --> 00:02:34,386
- That's very interesting.
48
00:02:34,388 --> 00:02:36,455
- Ray!
What are you doing?
49
00:02:36,457 --> 00:02:38,490
- What?
You're up.
50
00:02:38,492 --> 00:02:40,759
- So what?
51
00:02:40,761 --> 00:02:41,927
- So I-I come in here,
52
00:02:41,929 --> 00:02:43,462
You're up;
you're in a good mood.
53
00:02:43,464 --> 00:02:44,696
You're not too tired.
54
00:02:44,698 --> 00:02:45,931
- Who says I'm not too tired?
55
00:02:45,933 --> 00:02:47,833
All I'm doing is reading.
56
00:02:47,835 --> 00:02:49,301
- So you can
stay up to read,
57
00:02:49,303 --> 00:02:51,436
But you can't spare
two minutes for sex?
58
00:02:53,873 --> 00:02:56,508
- Look, I'm sorry, ray, okay?
59
00:02:56,510 --> 00:02:58,310
It's not like
I'm trying to trick you.
60
00:02:58,312 --> 00:03:00,245
I am tired,
61
00:03:00,247 --> 00:03:01,747
And I thought I would do
a little reading
62
00:03:01,749 --> 00:03:05,284
Before I fell asleep.
63
00:03:05,286 --> 00:03:07,886
- All right.
64
00:03:07,888 --> 00:03:09,655
There are other things
we could do a little
65
00:03:09,657 --> 00:03:11,790
Before we both fall asleep.
66
00:03:11,792 --> 00:03:15,394
I mean, we're not talkin' about
runnin' a marathon here.
67
00:03:15,396 --> 00:03:17,496
We're just going to
roll around a little, you know?
68
00:03:17,498 --> 00:03:20,365
I find it very relaxing
and restful,
69
00:03:20,367 --> 00:03:23,969
But what the hell
do I know?
70
00:03:23,971 --> 00:03:25,470
[sighs]
you go ahead, go ahead--
71
00:03:25,472 --> 00:03:26,805
- Ray, come on.
72
00:03:30,710 --> 00:03:32,311
- If a book
about the 19th century
73
00:03:32,313 --> 00:03:36,348
Doesn't put you to sleep,
how tired can you be?
74
00:03:41,554 --> 00:03:44,756
So what you're saying is that
you would rather read?
75
00:03:44,758 --> 00:03:47,559
- Tonight, yes.
76
00:03:50,396 --> 00:03:53,232
- Do me a favor, if there's
people having sex in that book,
77
00:03:53,234 --> 00:03:55,634
Could you read out loud?
78
00:04:03,276 --> 00:04:05,711
- Here, one of you try this.
79
00:04:08,681 --> 00:04:11,483
- Oh, god!
80
00:04:11,485 --> 00:04:13,252
This is awful!
81
00:04:20,960 --> 00:04:25,831
- I thought so.
It's debra's.
82
00:04:25,833 --> 00:04:26,832
It's gone bad.
83
00:04:26,834 --> 00:04:27,866
Although, with debra,
84
00:04:27,868 --> 00:04:30,402
It probably didn't
have far to go.
85
00:04:30,404 --> 00:04:33,372
- Wait a minute.
Let me see that.
86
00:04:46,819 --> 00:04:49,855
You're right.
This is not good.
87
00:04:53,459 --> 00:04:57,863
The underpart's
a little better.
88
00:04:57,865 --> 00:04:59,564
- What is it?
89
00:04:59,566 --> 00:05:00,999
- I don't know.
90
00:05:01,001 --> 00:05:02,501
It's got a crunch,
91
00:05:02,503 --> 00:05:06,405
But I don't think
that's on purpose.
92
00:05:09,842 --> 00:05:11,710
- Oh, hello, raymond.
93
00:05:11,712 --> 00:05:13,478
- Ma, what are you doing?
94
00:05:13,480 --> 00:05:14,846
- I'm cleaning your fridge.
95
00:05:14,848 --> 00:05:17,683
I thought it was just one item,
but once I opened it...
96
00:05:17,685 --> 00:05:21,019
Well, dear,
it's not good news.
97
00:05:21,021 --> 00:05:23,488
- Ma, you--you probably
shouldn't be doing this.
98
00:05:23,490 --> 00:05:26,725
Oh.
All right, do it to that.
99
00:05:26,727 --> 00:05:29,761
Just hurry up
before she gets back.
100
00:05:29,763 --> 00:05:31,363
- What else you got?
101
00:05:35,001 --> 00:05:36,902
- You finished that?
102
00:05:36,904 --> 00:05:40,005
- Yep.
103
00:05:40,007 --> 00:05:42,841
- And now we wait.
104
00:05:47,347 --> 00:05:48,814
- What did you buy, raymond?
105
00:05:48,816 --> 00:05:50,549
- Oh, uh...No, it's nothing.
106
00:05:50,551 --> 00:05:51,950
- Oh, something sensitive.
107
00:05:51,952 --> 00:05:53,452
- What is it?
108
00:05:53,454 --> 00:05:55,587
- No, it's just shirts.
109
00:05:55,589 --> 00:05:57,089
- You bought shirts?
110
00:05:57,091 --> 00:05:58,690
By yourself?
111
00:05:58,692 --> 00:06:00,392
- Yes.
112
00:06:00,394 --> 00:06:03,862
- Let's see these...Shirts.
113
00:06:03,864 --> 00:06:07,432
- I would not be comfortable
with that, all right?
114
00:06:07,434 --> 00:06:08,767
- Why the hell not?
115
00:06:08,769 --> 00:06:10,569
- Because, they're...
116
00:06:10,571 --> 00:06:12,537
Undershirts.
117
00:06:12,539 --> 00:06:13,839
- Are you trying
to hide something?
118
00:06:13,841 --> 00:06:17,075
- Mind your business, ma.
All right?
119
00:06:17,077 --> 00:06:20,145
- Sensuopoly.
120
00:06:26,953 --> 00:06:29,588
The board game
of love and intimacy.
121
00:06:29,590 --> 00:06:32,591
- It's a gag gift that I got
for a friend of mine
122
00:06:32,593 --> 00:06:37,529
Who...Loves gags.
123
00:06:37,531 --> 00:06:38,897
- Oh, really?
124
00:06:38,899 --> 00:06:43,602
And who is this lover of gags?
125
00:06:43,604 --> 00:06:45,971
Would his name
start with an "r"
126
00:06:45,973 --> 00:06:50,709
And end
with an "aymond," hmm?
127
00:06:50,711 --> 00:06:52,077
- Give me the game.
128
00:06:52,079 --> 00:06:54,079
- I've heard of these games.
They're for adults only.
129
00:06:54,081 --> 00:06:56,047
- Oh, my god.
130
00:06:56,049 --> 00:06:59,484
- Gonna spice things up,
eh, racy?
131
00:06:59,486 --> 00:07:00,752
- Dad, no. It's just--
132
00:07:00,754 --> 00:07:04,156
- Oh, raymond.
Another sex game?
133
00:07:04,158 --> 00:07:05,924
- What are you talking about?
134
00:07:05,926 --> 00:07:08,126
- Well, it's like the other one
you had when you were younger
135
00:07:08,128 --> 00:07:10,061
With all the colored dots.
136
00:07:10,063 --> 00:07:11,997
- Twister?
137
00:07:13,966 --> 00:07:17,769
- Don't think I didn't know
what was going on downstairs.
138
00:07:17,771 --> 00:07:21,506
- What?
I played with robert.
139
00:07:21,508 --> 00:07:25,210
- I don't want
to hear any more.
140
00:07:25,212 --> 00:07:27,712
- This game
must be debra's doing.
141
00:07:27,714 --> 00:07:30,816
- I should have guessed
when I opened the fridge
142
00:07:30,818 --> 00:07:33,652
With two bottles
of white wine?
143
00:07:33,654 --> 00:07:36,688
Are you swingers?
144
00:07:36,690 --> 00:07:37,823
- All right, ma.
145
00:07:37,825 --> 00:07:40,992
You just asked
if I was a wife-swapper.
146
00:07:40,994 --> 00:07:44,596
- Now, there's an idea.
147
00:07:44,598 --> 00:07:45,897
I don't even have to swap.
148
00:07:45,899 --> 00:07:48,800
I'll just make a donation.
149
00:07:54,040 --> 00:07:55,640
- I sure hope
you're better at this
150
00:07:55,642 --> 00:07:59,010
Than you were at twister.
151
00:07:59,012 --> 00:08:03,882
As I remember,
you had no flexibility at all.
152
00:08:03,884 --> 00:08:06,485
Poor debra.
153
00:08:09,522 --> 00:08:11,556
- No, you should close
your curtains too.
154
00:08:11,558 --> 00:08:13,625
You never know who's
looking into the windows.
155
00:08:13,627 --> 00:08:15,894
- I got a pretty good idea.
156
00:08:17,497 --> 00:08:18,497
- Hey.
157
00:08:18,499 --> 00:08:19,498
- Hey.
- What's up?
158
00:08:19,500 --> 00:08:24,236
- Whatever you do in your
bedroom is your business.
159
00:08:24,238 --> 00:08:26,571
- Sensuopoly?
160
00:08:26,573 --> 00:08:29,774
- It's not from me.
It's from him.
161
00:08:29,776 --> 00:08:32,644
- Ray,
what is going on?
162
00:08:32,646 --> 00:08:34,880
- I'll tell you
what's going on.
163
00:08:34,882 --> 00:08:36,982
For once I'd like to bring
a game into this house
164
00:08:36,984 --> 00:08:39,851
Without being accused
of having sex with my brother.
165
00:08:44,924 --> 00:08:46,525
- Listen, sweetheart...
166
00:08:46,527 --> 00:08:48,660
Everybody's making a big fuss
over nothing.
167
00:08:48,662 --> 00:08:50,095
Now, I looked
at the back of the box,
168
00:08:50,097 --> 00:08:53,131
And from what
I could see...
169
00:08:58,137 --> 00:09:00,872
To be continued.
170
00:09:14,820 --> 00:09:17,122
- Okay, kids are down.
171
00:09:17,124 --> 00:09:19,324
- Yeah.
Listen...
172
00:09:19,326 --> 00:09:23,662
Sorry about the embarrassment
today with the game and all.
173
00:09:23,664 --> 00:09:25,664
You know, I just--
I went to the store to try
174
00:09:25,666 --> 00:09:27,832
To buy you a funny card.
You know, 'cause of last night.
175
00:09:27,834 --> 00:09:30,669
But they're not funny.
They're just stupid.
176
00:09:30,671 --> 00:09:33,972
There's one funny one--
the old guy with no teeth...
177
00:09:33,974 --> 00:09:35,240
[muffled]
like this...
178
00:09:35,242 --> 00:09:36,875
But, yeah,
I couldn't remember
179
00:09:36,877 --> 00:09:39,878
If I got you that
for valentine's day or not so...
180
00:09:39,880 --> 00:09:41,680
You know, so I just--
181
00:09:41,682 --> 00:09:44,215
I got you that game
just to say,
182
00:09:44,217 --> 00:09:47,619
You know, "ha ha."
183
00:09:47,621 --> 00:09:48,787
- It's okay, ray.
184
00:09:48,789 --> 00:09:51,356
Come on, let's go play.
185
00:09:51,358 --> 00:09:53,625
- What?
186
00:09:53,627 --> 00:09:54,893
What?
187
00:10:11,811 --> 00:10:13,144
You really want to play this?
188
00:10:13,146 --> 00:10:15,947
Even though my mother
knows we have it?
189
00:10:15,949 --> 00:10:16,948
- We've already got the guilt.
190
00:10:16,950 --> 00:10:18,683
We might as well have the fun.
191
00:10:18,685 --> 00:10:21,019
- Well, all riiight!
192
00:10:22,922 --> 00:10:25,056
- Okay. Here's the directions.
I've already read them.
193
00:10:25,058 --> 00:10:27,959
- Hey, I don't need directions.
194
00:10:27,961 --> 00:10:32,263
I mean, it's been a while,
but I remember.
195
00:10:32,265 --> 00:10:33,765
- Okay, so it's pretty simple.
196
00:10:33,767 --> 00:10:37,702
And you do whatever it says
on the square you land on.
197
00:10:37,704 --> 00:10:38,903
- Okay.
- All right?
198
00:10:38,905 --> 00:10:40,372
Now, some of the squares
are naughty...
199
00:10:40,374 --> 00:10:43,108
- Hang on.
200
00:10:46,078 --> 00:10:48,013
Go ahead.
201
00:10:48,015 --> 00:10:49,247
- And some are romantic.
202
00:10:49,249 --> 00:10:50,382
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
203
00:10:50,384 --> 00:10:52,417
- Okay, so I'll go first.
204
00:10:52,419 --> 00:10:54,319
This is me. That's you.
205
00:10:54,321 --> 00:10:56,287
- All right, come on, buddy,
put your game face on.
206
00:10:56,289 --> 00:10:57,922
Ooh, ooh...
207
00:10:57,924 --> 00:10:59,824
- All right, all right,
all right, all right!
208
00:10:59,826 --> 00:11:02,027
Stop, stop, stop.
Okay, ready?
209
00:11:02,029 --> 00:11:03,862
- Ooh, lucky number seven.
210
00:11:03,864 --> 00:11:09,000
- Okay, one, two,
three, four, five, six, seven.
211
00:11:09,002 --> 00:11:11,269
"kiss your lover
212
00:11:11,271 --> 00:11:14,139
As though they are
about to climb mount everest."
213
00:11:14,141 --> 00:11:16,775
- Oh, yeah.
214
00:11:16,777 --> 00:11:18,910
- Okay.
215
00:11:30,089 --> 00:11:31,923
Ray! Ray, ray, stop it!
216
00:11:31,925 --> 00:11:33,825
Ray!
217
00:11:33,827 --> 00:11:35,193
It's your turn.
218
00:11:35,195 --> 00:11:36,294
- I love this game.
219
00:11:36,296 --> 00:11:37,462
- Ray, come on!
Ray!
220
00:11:37,464 --> 00:11:39,230
You've got to roll!
221
00:11:39,232 --> 00:11:40,732
- Hey, I'm climbing everest.
222
00:11:40,734 --> 00:11:42,901
I could be dead tomorrow.
223
00:11:42,903 --> 00:11:45,470
- Listen, ray!
224
00:11:45,472 --> 00:11:47,005
- I'm going away!
225
00:11:47,007 --> 00:11:50,208
- Would you roll the dice?
226
00:11:50,210 --> 00:11:52,877
- All right, all right,
all right, all right.
227
00:11:54,313 --> 00:11:56,281
Okay.
228
00:11:58,718 --> 00:12:01,352
Three.
One, two, three.
229
00:12:01,354 --> 00:12:04,823
"tell your lover something
about you they do not know."
230
00:12:08,327 --> 00:12:09,894
I'm back from everest!
231
00:12:09,896 --> 00:12:13,932
- Ray! Ray, come on.
Would you...Stop it!
232
00:12:13,934 --> 00:12:16,000
Would you stop?
233
00:12:20,473 --> 00:12:23,274
You're supposed to share
something with me.
234
00:12:23,276 --> 00:12:24,743
- I'm trying to!
235
00:12:24,745 --> 00:12:26,811
- Come on.
236
00:12:28,481 --> 00:12:30,949
- Where are the fun squares?
237
00:12:30,951 --> 00:12:33,051
- The blue squares are naughty.
238
00:12:33,053 --> 00:12:34,886
The pink squares are romantic.
239
00:12:34,888 --> 00:12:35,987
- Pink.
240
00:12:35,989 --> 00:12:38,223
- All right, come on.
241
00:12:38,225 --> 00:12:41,359
Tell me something
I don't know about you.
242
00:12:41,361 --> 00:12:42,961
- All right.
Something you don't know.
243
00:12:42,963 --> 00:12:44,262
- Okay.
244
00:12:44,264 --> 00:12:46,865
- Well...This afternoon
245
00:12:46,867 --> 00:12:48,433
When I was trying
to get you something...
246
00:12:48,435 --> 00:12:49,768
- Yeah?
247
00:12:49,770 --> 00:12:52,504
- I stopped
and got a chili dog.
248
00:12:57,943 --> 00:12:59,377
- Just give me the dice.
- Wait, come on.
249
00:12:59,379 --> 00:13:00,879
There's nothing
but pink squares.
250
00:13:00,881 --> 00:13:02,413
Hold on, where's blue?
Right here's blue.
251
00:13:02,415 --> 00:13:03,548
The first blue one--
252
00:13:03,550 --> 00:13:05,016
"without using your hand,
253
00:13:05,018 --> 00:13:06,785
Remove a piece
of your lover's clothing."
254
00:13:06,787 --> 00:13:11,790
Oh, yeah.
[gnawing sound]
255
00:13:11,792 --> 00:13:12,891
Hold on, what do I need?
256
00:13:12,893 --> 00:13:14,225
I need a one, two,
three, four, five.
257
00:13:14,227 --> 00:13:15,827
Okay, five's what
I'm talking about.
258
00:13:15,829 --> 00:13:16,828
Come on, five, baby.
259
00:13:16,830 --> 00:13:19,063
We get to write each other
a poem.
260
00:13:19,065 --> 00:13:20,331
- Oh, god! Please, no.
261
00:13:20,333 --> 00:13:23,368
Please, five! Come on, five!
Five!
262
00:13:23,370 --> 00:13:26,337
Fever in the cathouse,
the doctor ain't home.
263
00:13:26,339 --> 00:13:27,438
- Ha! Nine.
264
00:13:27,440 --> 00:13:28,907
- All right,
I'll move it for you.
265
00:13:28,909 --> 00:13:30,108
One, two, three,
four, five,
266
00:13:30,110 --> 00:13:31,476
Six, seven, eight, nine--
a blue one!
267
00:13:31,478 --> 00:13:33,111
- No, no, you counted
that square twice.
268
00:13:33,113 --> 00:13:36,548
- One, two, three, four, five,
six, seven, eight, nine.
269
00:13:36,550 --> 00:13:39,951
- I don't think you're getting
into the spirit of the game.
270
00:13:39,953 --> 00:13:43,855
- Let me read the square.
271
00:13:43,857 --> 00:13:47,458
Stare into your lover's eyes
for three minutes."
272
00:13:47,460 --> 00:13:49,961
- What, are you kidding me?
273
00:13:49,963 --> 00:13:52,397
- Three minutes.
274
00:13:52,399 --> 00:13:54,032
- Do you know how long
three minutes is?
275
00:13:54,034 --> 00:13:56,868
It's long.
Ask an egg.
276
00:14:00,105 --> 00:14:01,573
- Do it.
277
00:14:01,575 --> 00:14:04,242
- All right,
let me set my thing.
278
00:14:07,513 --> 00:14:09,180
Okay.
279
00:14:09,182 --> 00:14:12,150
Ready, go.
280
00:14:31,370 --> 00:14:33,037
- Put it down!
281
00:14:37,543 --> 00:14:40,044
- I don't think we're getting
what's intended here,
282
00:14:40,046 --> 00:14:41,913
'cause you're startin'
to look like the devil.
283
00:14:41,915 --> 00:14:43,147
- All right.
You know, forget it.
284
00:14:43,149 --> 00:14:44,415
- No, no, no!
285
00:14:44,417 --> 00:14:46,251
It's just that my eyes
are blurry, that's all!
286
00:14:46,253 --> 00:14:47,352
Come on.
287
00:14:47,354 --> 00:14:48,653
I didn't say it's not romantic.
288
00:14:48,655 --> 00:14:50,388
Right, the devil's hot.
289
00:14:50,390 --> 00:14:52,490
- Why can't you look
into my eyes?
290
00:14:52,492 --> 00:14:54,058
- Because they're too beautiful.
291
00:14:54,060 --> 00:14:55,326
- Oh!
292
00:14:55,328 --> 00:14:57,228
- Look, the game's obviously
rigged, all right?
293
00:14:57,230 --> 00:14:59,063
There's twice as many
pink romantic squares
294
00:14:59,065 --> 00:15:01,232
As naughty blue ones.
295
00:15:01,234 --> 00:15:03,234
- Why did you buy
the game, ray, huh?
296
00:15:03,236 --> 00:15:04,903
That's what I really
don't understand.
297
00:15:04,905 --> 00:15:06,504
Why did you buy it
if you didn't want to play?
298
00:15:06,506 --> 00:15:08,106
- I thought it would be fun.
299
00:15:08,108 --> 00:15:09,540
It's got something
for both of us:
300
00:15:09,542 --> 00:15:13,411
Sex for me,
reading for you.
301
00:15:13,413 --> 00:15:16,514
- You really have no idea
what this game is for, do you?
302
00:15:16,516 --> 00:15:17,982
- Yes, I have an idea.
303
00:15:17,984 --> 00:15:19,584
The game is to get you
in the mood.
304
00:15:19,586 --> 00:15:21,419
Remember the mood?
305
00:15:21,421 --> 00:15:23,254
- No, this game
is not about my mood.
306
00:15:23,256 --> 00:15:26,090
This game is supposed
to improve our sex life.
307
00:15:26,092 --> 00:15:27,558
- Yeah, well,
then I got the wrong game.
308
00:15:27,560 --> 00:15:30,929
That gets you
to have a sex life.
309
00:15:30,931 --> 00:15:34,666
- Oh, yes, you're
the poor sex-starved husband.
310
00:15:34,668 --> 00:15:36,334
- Yeah, and you're the poor
put-upon wife
311
00:15:36,336 --> 00:15:37,468
Who doesn't get any romance.
312
00:15:37,470 --> 00:15:39,037
- No, I'm not talking
about romance.
313
00:15:39,039 --> 00:15:41,172
I wanted to play this game
for other things too.
314
00:15:41,174 --> 00:15:42,440
- Yeah, I know, I know, I know.
315
00:15:42,442 --> 00:15:43,608
I don't hold
your hand enough,
316
00:15:43,610 --> 00:15:45,576
Watch you sleep,
listen to your heartbeat,
317
00:15:45,578 --> 00:15:49,180
Muh, muh, muh...
318
00:15:49,182 --> 00:15:51,115
And let me
tell you something.
319
00:15:51,117 --> 00:15:53,384
What you call romance,
it's always changing.
320
00:15:53,386 --> 00:15:55,086
Sometimes it's that
you want flowers,
321
00:15:55,088 --> 00:15:57,155
And then other times--
other times--
322
00:15:57,157 --> 00:15:59,057
How about the time
you got excited
323
00:15:59,059 --> 00:16:00,725
'cause I brought home
a bucket of chicken?
324
00:16:00,727 --> 00:16:02,360
Why?
What is romance?
325
00:16:02,362 --> 00:16:04,262
Tell me what it is.
I'll do it every time.
326
00:16:04,264 --> 00:16:06,564
- Listen, ray, I'm not talking
about you and the romance.
327
00:16:06,566 --> 00:16:10,535
I'm talking about you
and...The blue squares.
328
00:16:10,537 --> 00:16:11,970
- What?
The blue squares?
329
00:16:11,972 --> 00:16:14,439
The blue ones
are the sex ones!
330
00:16:14,441 --> 00:16:16,708
What?
What are you saying?
331
00:16:16,710 --> 00:16:18,543
What?
332
00:16:26,418 --> 00:16:28,553
Oh.
333
00:16:41,233 --> 00:16:43,501
The blue squares.
334
00:16:46,739 --> 00:16:49,407
- Is it all right
if we talk about it?
335
00:16:53,679 --> 00:16:55,279
- [whispers]
go ahead.
336
00:16:57,716 --> 00:17:03,221
- All right.
Well...
337
00:17:03,223 --> 00:17:05,423
First of all,
I love you.
338
00:17:05,425 --> 00:17:07,592
- Oohhh...
339
00:17:07,594 --> 00:17:12,063
- But when we are
340
00:17:12,065 --> 00:17:14,332
Making love...
341
00:17:14,334 --> 00:17:16,034
- Oohhh...
342
00:17:16,036 --> 00:17:18,536
- Ray, just look at me.
- No.
343
00:17:18,538 --> 00:17:19,771
- I'm your wife.
344
00:17:19,773 --> 00:17:21,372
You should be able
to talk to me about this.
345
00:17:21,374 --> 00:17:22,673
Come on.
346
00:17:22,675 --> 00:17:24,042
- Your wife is the last person
347
00:17:24,044 --> 00:17:25,343
You want to hear
these things from.
348
00:17:25,345 --> 00:17:26,778
- Who would you rather
hear it from?
349
00:17:26,780 --> 00:17:30,515
- Somebody who doesn't
have any proof.
350
00:17:30,517 --> 00:17:33,818
- Look, this isn't easy for me
to talk about either.
351
00:17:33,820 --> 00:17:35,286
- How bad is this?
352
00:17:35,288 --> 00:17:38,089
- No, it's not bad,
and it's not just you.
353
00:17:38,091 --> 00:17:40,358
- Who else?
354
00:17:40,360 --> 00:17:41,592
- Me!
355
00:17:41,594 --> 00:17:44,062
Ray, it's about us.
356
00:17:44,064 --> 00:17:47,465
Listen.
Just listen.
357
00:17:47,467 --> 00:17:50,268
I need...
358
00:17:50,270 --> 00:17:52,804
More...
359
00:17:52,806 --> 00:17:55,807
Variety.
360
00:17:55,809 --> 00:17:57,809
- Variety?
361
00:17:57,811 --> 00:17:59,277
You need variety?
362
00:17:59,279 --> 00:18:01,546
Oh, I got that.
363
00:18:01,548 --> 00:18:03,448
I was worried you were going
to mention my--
364
00:18:03,450 --> 00:18:05,817
Well, why bring it up?
365
00:18:05,819 --> 00:18:09,287
But variety? I am variety.
I'm ed sullivan.
366
00:18:09,289 --> 00:18:12,090
Wasn't I the guy who came
into the bedroom
367
00:18:12,092 --> 00:18:13,324
With the cowboy hat on?
368
00:18:13,326 --> 00:18:15,159
How about the time
I was the fireman
369
00:18:15,161 --> 00:18:18,629
And you were
the burning sorority house?
370
00:18:18,631 --> 00:18:21,499
- Well, I mean,
by variety, I mean...
371
00:18:21,501 --> 00:18:24,502
Look, the cowboy
and the fireman are fun,
372
00:18:24,504 --> 00:18:27,672
But once they take
their hats off,
373
00:18:27,674 --> 00:18:30,508
They're pretty much the same.
374
00:18:30,510 --> 00:18:33,411
- What do you mean?
375
00:18:33,413 --> 00:18:35,880
- I need them to be...
376
00:18:35,882 --> 00:18:39,617
Less...Selfish.
377
00:18:39,619 --> 00:18:42,320
- Now, hold on.
378
00:18:42,322 --> 00:18:44,222
Hold on.
I am not selfish!
379
00:18:44,224 --> 00:18:45,656
I am not selfish!
380
00:18:45,658 --> 00:18:48,126
If there's anything
you want--anything--I do it!
381
00:18:48,128 --> 00:18:49,727
You want me
to be more flexible?
382
00:18:49,729 --> 00:18:51,295
I'm flexing!
383
00:18:51,297 --> 00:18:52,830
You want me to talk
in an accent?
384
00:18:52,832 --> 00:18:56,367
"you go' it, guv'ner."
huh?
385
00:18:56,369 --> 00:18:58,269
Come on,
just tell me what you want.
386
00:18:58,271 --> 00:19:00,271
What do you want?
387
00:19:00,273 --> 00:19:01,305
- I want...
388
00:19:01,307 --> 00:19:02,573
- What?
389
00:19:02,575 --> 00:19:04,308
- See, this is
what I'm talking about.
390
00:19:04,310 --> 00:19:06,911
Why should I have to tell you
what I want?
391
00:19:06,913 --> 00:19:09,280
- So I will know.
392
00:19:10,849 --> 00:19:12,383
- Do you know
how depressing that is,
393
00:19:12,385 --> 00:19:14,418
That after 12 years,
you don't know?
394
00:19:14,420 --> 00:19:16,320
Why do I have
to say it out loud?
395
00:19:16,322 --> 00:19:19,757
Why haven't you
been paying attention?
396
00:19:19,759 --> 00:19:21,425
- What do you mean
"paying attention"?
397
00:19:21,427 --> 00:19:23,761
- You only seem to pick up
the signals that affect you.
398
00:19:23,763 --> 00:19:25,463
Like, you know
what "I'm tired" means
399
00:19:25,465 --> 00:19:27,231
Because it means
no fun for raymond.
400
00:19:27,233 --> 00:19:29,167
But if I give you
the "go" signal,
401
00:19:29,169 --> 00:19:30,601
Then you just stop
paying attention.
402
00:19:30,603 --> 00:19:31,869
I could shoot off
a flare in here,
403
00:19:31,871 --> 00:19:35,606
And you wouldn't even notice.
404
00:19:35,608 --> 00:19:38,342
- Sorry.
405
00:19:38,344 --> 00:19:40,311
I didn't know that.
406
00:19:40,313 --> 00:19:42,580
Can I ask you something?
407
00:19:42,582 --> 00:19:43,915
- Sure.
408
00:19:43,917 --> 00:19:45,950
- After 12 years,
I should know you, right?
409
00:19:45,952 --> 00:19:47,385
- That's all I'm saying.
410
00:19:47,387 --> 00:19:49,320
- After 12 years,
shouldn't you know me?
411
00:19:49,322 --> 00:19:50,688
I mean, you could have realized
412
00:19:50,690 --> 00:19:52,557
That I wasn't getting
your signals after...
413
00:19:52,559 --> 00:19:54,692
Year three.
414
00:19:58,297 --> 00:20:00,398
I mean, you had to know
that you were married to a guy
415
00:20:00,400 --> 00:20:02,233
Who occasionally
might miss a thing or two,
416
00:20:02,235 --> 00:20:04,368
And maybe
you might have to...
417
00:20:04,370 --> 00:20:06,804
Speak up.
418
00:20:06,806 --> 00:20:08,406
- I don't want to speak up.
419
00:20:08,408 --> 00:20:09,774
- Why not?
420
00:20:09,776 --> 00:20:12,310
- It's embarrassing.
421
00:20:12,312 --> 00:20:13,778
- Not as embarrassing
as finding out
422
00:20:13,780 --> 00:20:16,314
You've been doing it wrong
for 12 years.
423
00:20:18,850 --> 00:20:20,985
- Yeah. I--
424
00:20:20,987 --> 00:20:23,754
You're right.
I'm sorry.
425
00:20:27,326 --> 00:20:30,361
Okay, I'll try
to speak up more.
426
00:20:30,363 --> 00:20:31,862
- Okay, good.
427
00:20:31,864 --> 00:20:34,332
That's good.
428
00:20:47,479 --> 00:20:51,582
So you wanna start
speakin' up?
429
00:20:51,584 --> 00:20:54,352
But you'll try to be
a little more aware, right?
430
00:20:54,354 --> 00:20:55,820
- Yeah, yeah!
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
431
00:20:55,822 --> 00:20:58,256
- Okay, and I don't mean
just in the bedroom.
432
00:20:58,258 --> 00:20:59,390
- No, no, no, no!
433
00:20:59,392 --> 00:21:00,758
- If you see the laundry
lying around
434
00:21:00,760 --> 00:21:02,493
Or the bills are piling up
or the garbage--
435
00:21:02,495 --> 00:21:03,794
- Maybe we should
start with the sex
436
00:21:03,796 --> 00:21:05,329
And then see how far we get.
437
00:21:05,331 --> 00:21:06,964
- Ray, you know what
I'm talkin' about, right?
438
00:21:06,966 --> 00:21:08,833
- I do.
I hear you.
439
00:21:08,835 --> 00:21:10,735
You're right.
440
00:21:10,737 --> 00:21:12,536
- Okay.
Thank you, honey.
441
00:21:14,973 --> 00:21:17,408
- So are you going
to tell me what you want?
442
00:21:17,410 --> 00:21:18,676
- I'll give it a try.
443
00:21:18,678 --> 00:21:21,412
- What would you like?
444
00:21:21,414 --> 00:21:24,715
- I'd like you to help me
with the laundry.
30637
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