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(June) BACK IN INDIANA,
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THE BATHROOM
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WAS ALWAYS A PRIVATE PLACE.
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BUT NOW THAT
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I LIVE IN NEW YORK,
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LIKE EVERYTHING ELSE,
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IT'S CROWDED.
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(door opens)
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WHAT'S FINGER-LICKIN',
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CHICKEN?
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NOTHIN' MUCH, BUTT.
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THAT RHYMED MORE
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IN MY HEAD.
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BUT I'M OKAY WITH IT.
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THE BATHROOM'S ACTUALLY
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BECOME A PLACE
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WHERE CHLOE AND I
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DOWNLOAD AND CATCH UP.
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I'M JUST ABOUT
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TO GIVE MYSELF A BRAZILIAN.
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WANT ME TO DO YOU FIRST?
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NO, THANKS.
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YOU SURE, JUNE?
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IT'S 2013.
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LOWER THE DECK.
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(water splashes)
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(Katie Hampton) ♪ I'M NOT
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PERFECT, I'M NO SNITCH ♪
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♪ BUT I CAN TELL YOU ♪
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(whispers) ♪ SHE'S A... ♪
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(buzzer)
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♪ BA-DA-DA-DA-DA-BA, BA-DA-BA ♪
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♪ BA-DA-DA-DA-DA-BA, BA-DA-BA ♪
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SO, WHO'S THE SPECIAL
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GROOMING FOR?
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BENJAMIN'S BACK FROM
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HIS DIRECTING GIG IN L.A.
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HE MADE JOSEPH GORDON-LEVITT
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KISS MELISSA McCARTHY
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IN A MOVIE I'M REALLY
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LOOKING FORWARD TO SEEING
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CALLED "AGNES."
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SOUNDS GREAT.
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YEAH. NOW HE'S DIRECTING JAMES
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IN SOME BIG NEW COMMERCIAL
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BEFORE HE GOES TO AUSTRALIA.
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YOU KNOW, THIS IS
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GONNA BE THE LONGEST
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AMOUNT OF TIME
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WE'VE ACTUALLY
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EVER SPENT TOGETHER.
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OOH! THAT'S EXCITING!
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YEAH. I BUMPED HIM UP TO
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NUMBER ONE ON MY GUY ROTATION.
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NUMBERS TWO THROUGH SIX
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ARE JUST GONNA HAVE TO WAIT
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WHILE HE PUTS
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HIS DINGO IN MY BABY.
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CHLOE, DID YOU TELL BENJAMIN
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ABOUT YOUR ROTATION?
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NO. WHY?
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UH, BECAUSE THAT'S NOT JUST
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SOMETHING THAT EVERYONE HAS.
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WELL, EVERYONE SHOULD.
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IT'S AWESOME.
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IT'S THE PERFECT SITUATION.
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NOBODY LOSES.
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EVERYBODY WINS.
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NO, ONE PERSON LOSES--
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THE PERSON WHO THINKS
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THAT THEY'RE DATING
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SOMEONE EXCLUSIVELY
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AND THEN FINDS OUT
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THAT'S NOT THE CASE.
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LIKE ME IN SEVENTH GRADE WHEN
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I WAS DATING AARON DeMAYO.
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HE WAS A WRESTLER,
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AND I WAS A MAT MAID--
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WHICH PEOPLE DON'T THINK
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IS A REAL CHEERLEADER
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BECAUSE WE
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DIDN'T HAVE UNIFORMS,
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WE JUST WORE WHATEVER SHADE OF
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PURPLE WE HAD IN OUR CLOSET.
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ANYWAY, I WAS HEARTBROKEN
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WHEN I FOUND OUT
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THAT AARON WAS ALSO SEEING
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THERESA FISHER.
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UGH. IS TELLING BENJAMIN
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ABOUT MY GUY ROTATION
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THE ONLY WAY I'M GONNA GET YOU
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TO STOP WITH THE JIBBER-JABBER?
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IT IS.
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FINE. BUT SO HELP ME GOD,
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IF I HEAR ONE JIBBER
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OR EVEN A PIECE OF JABBER,
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I WILL FORCIBLY WAX YOU.
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SWEET BATHROOM. WHAT'S THIS
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COMMERCIAL FOR, ANYWAY?
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(bell rings)
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TOWELS? SOAP? SHOWER HEADS?
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SUNGLASSES.
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AWESOME. I'M WATCHING.
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AH, YOU WON'T BE ABLE
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TO WATCH, ACTUALLY.
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IT'S ONLY GONNA AIR IN JAPAN.
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JAMES IS HUGE THERE
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EVER SINCE THREE GIRLS
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DRESSED AS HELLO KITTY
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WERE TRAMPLED TO DEATH
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AT THE "VARSITY BLUES" PREMIERE
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IN KYOTO.
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(sighs)
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HEY.
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HEY YOURSELF.
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I'M DATING FIVE OTHER GUYS.
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I'VE GOT SIX GUYS
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IN MY ROTATION.
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YOU'RE KIDDING.
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I'M DATING
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FIVE OTHER GIRLS,
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EXCEPT WE CALL IT
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A "CYCLE."
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OH, MY GOD.
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THAT IS SO FUNNY.
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AUSTRALIANS HAVE
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DIFFERENT WORDS FOR EVERYTHING.
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WE DO.
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ISN'T DATING
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SIX PEOPLE THE BEST?
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BECAUSE FIVE
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IS UNSATISFYING...
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AND SEVEN ALLOWS
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NO TIME TO RECOUP.
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I JUST REMEMBERED
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WHY I LIKE YOU.
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YOU ARE SO...
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HOT?
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I WAS GONNA SAY "SLUTTY."
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LOVE THE FIRST DAY
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OF PRODUCTION.
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A WHOLE NEW CREW
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TO LOVE AND RESPECT ME.
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YOU KNOW WHAT
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MY FAVORITE PART IS?
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ALL THE TOOL BELTS?
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NO.
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FIRST DAY
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OF PRODUCTION SPEECH.
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I INTRODUCE MYSELF
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TO THE CREW,
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SAY A FEW
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INSPIRATIONAL WORDS,
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LEARN TWO OF THEIR NAMES
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TO SHOW HOW ACCESSIBLE I AM,
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THEN SIT BACK
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AND BASK IN THEIR ADMIRATION.
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IT'S MY FUEL.
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KEEPS ME RUNNING.
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EVERY DAY, I LEARN FROM YOU.
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MM.
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(clatter)
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ALL RIGHT, EVERYONE!
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UM, I'M BENJAMIN LOVETT,
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YOUR DIRECTOR.
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JUST WANNA SAY
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A FEW WORDS BEFORE WE START.
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NOW I KNOW SOME OF YOU
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MAY BE WONDERING
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WHY WE'RE DOING A COMMERCIAL
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FOR SUNGLASSES IN A BATHROOM.
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ESPECIALLY YOU, JOEL, MIKEY.
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TWO NAMES.
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BUT SO MUCH OF LIFE
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HAPPENS IN BATHROOMS,
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SO MANY INTIMATE
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AND IMPORTANT MOMENTS.
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THINK ABOUT IT--
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WHEN ARE YOU MOST VULNERABLE?
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WHEN YOU'RE NAKED.
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AND WHERE ARE YOU MOST NAKED?
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IN THE BATHROOM.
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MM.
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AND BEING NAKED... IS SEXY,
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AND SUNGLASSES... ARE SEXY.
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SO WE'RE GONNA MAKE
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THIS BATHROOM... SEXY...
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AND STEAMY...
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AND WET.
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(chuckles)
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BECAUSE
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BATHROOMS EQUALS SEXY...
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EQUALS SUNGLASSES.
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THANK YOU.
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I CAN'T FOLLOW THAT.
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YOU CAN'T HAVE TWO...
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INSPIRING FIRST DAY
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OF PRODUCTION SPEECHES.
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THE S.O.B. USURPED ME.
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HE "ALL ABOUT EVE-d" YOU.
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WHAT?
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OH. SORRY.
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HE "SHOWGIRL-ed" YOU.
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HE DID BETTER
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THAN YOU DID.
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UHH.
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HEY. I REALLY LIKED
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YOUR SPEECH.
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OH, YEAH? WHICH PART?
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(Icona Pop)
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♪ I DON'T CARE ♪
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♪ I LOVE IT ♪
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♪ I DON'T CARE ♪
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(moaning)
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SOMEONE IS IN HERE!
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OCUPADO!
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JUNE, WE'RE HAVING SEX IN
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BATHROOMS ALL ACROSS THE CITY.
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WE JUST CAME FROM A DELI.
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WE GAVE SOME OLD FAKAKTAS
221
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A SHOW.
222
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EW. WHY ARE YOU
223
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HAVING SEX IN BATHROOMS?
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TELL HER, BEN. TELL HER
225
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IN THE AUSTRALIAN ACCENT.
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BECAUSE BATHROOMS
227
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ARE SEXY.
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MMM! (squeals)
229
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(clatters)
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MY PREP STATION!
231
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(moans)
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WELL, DID YOU AT LEAST
233
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TELL HIM ABOUT YOUR--
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MY ROTATION? YEAH,
235
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HE'S TOTALLY COOL WITH IT.
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I HAVE ONE, TOO.
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A CYCLE.
238
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WELL, GOOD. I GUESS AS LONG AS
239
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YOU TWO ARE ON THE SAME PAGE...
240
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JUNE, SOME SEX
241
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IS ABOUT TO HAPPEN
242
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RIGHT WHERE YOU'RE STANDING,
243
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SO EITHER GET IN OR GET OUT.
244
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BUT I'M NOT FINISHED YET.
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I'M STILL DOING MY LEFT EYE.
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OH, GOD!
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♪ I DON'T CARE ♪
248
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♪ I LOVE IT ♪
249
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♪ I DON'T CARE ♪
250
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12 BATHROOMS IN 24 HOURS?
251
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(panting)
252
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IF THAT'S NOT A RECORD,
253
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I'D LIKE TO MEET
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THE BASTARDS WHO BEAT US.
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YOU KNOW, I'M GONNA
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BE HERE FOR A MONTH.
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WE MIGHT WANT TO...
258
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PACE OURSELVES.
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OH, AM I WEARING YOU OUT?
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IS THE OLD MAN GETTING TIRED?
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DO YOU WANT A PEPPERMINT?
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(water splashes)
263
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(giggles)
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I'M JUST SAYING,
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AT SOME POINT,
266
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WE MIGHT HAVE TO
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PUT SOME CLOTHES ON
268
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AND USE OUR MOUTHS FOR FOOD.
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(gasps) I KNOW A STRIP CLUB
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THAT HAS A GREAT
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CHINESE CHICKEN SALAD.
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THAT SOUNDS GROSS AND DELICIOUS
273
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AT THE SAME TIME. LET'S GO.
274
00:05:52,435 --> 00:05:55,189
(water sloshing)
275
00:05:55,230 --> 00:05:56,064
WHOA!
276
00:05:56,106 --> 00:05:59,026
(thud)
277
00:05:56,106 --> 00:05:59,026
(laughs) OH, NO. BENJAMIN.
278
00:05:59,067 --> 00:06:01,486
SEEMS LIKE YOU'VE GOT
279
00:05:59,067 --> 00:06:01,486
A DISLOCATED SHOULDER.
280
00:06:01,528 --> 00:06:03,446
NOW THAT I SEE YOU
281
00:06:01,528 --> 00:06:03,446
LYING HERE,
282
00:06:03,488 --> 00:06:05,073
I REALIZE WHAT
283
00:06:03,488 --> 00:06:05,073
I SHOULD HAVE DONE--
284
00:06:05,115 --> 00:06:06,407
INSTEAD OF COVERING YOU
285
00:06:05,115 --> 00:06:06,407
WITH A TOWEL,
286
00:06:06,449 --> 00:06:08,285
I SHOULD HAVE PUT
287
00:06:06,449 --> 00:06:08,285
A SMALL LOOFAH OVER YOUR JUNK.
288
00:06:08,327 --> 00:06:09,452
THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN
289
00:06:08,327 --> 00:06:09,452
VERY FUNNY.
290
00:06:09,494 --> 00:06:12,413
I REGRET NOT DOING THAT
291
00:06:09,494 --> 00:06:12,413
VERY MUCH.
292
00:06:12,455 --> 00:06:14,041
SO WE JUST GOTTA GET YOU
293
00:06:12,455 --> 00:06:14,041
TO THE HOSPITAL.
294
00:06:14,082 --> 00:06:16,126
I'M JUST GONNA NEED
295
00:06:14,082 --> 00:06:16,126
SOME INFO FIRST.
296
00:06:16,168 --> 00:06:18,419
WHAT'S YOUR DATE OF BIRTH?
297
00:06:16,168 --> 00:06:18,419
APRIL 28, 1982.
298
00:06:18,461 --> 00:06:20,421
ANY ALLERGIES?
299
00:06:20,463 --> 00:06:22,549
OTHER THAN THIS HOT POTATO
300
00:06:20,463 --> 00:06:22,549
RIGHT HERE? (clicks tongue)
301
00:06:24,551 --> 00:06:26,427
AN "IN CASE OF AN EMERGENCY"
302
00:06:24,551 --> 00:06:26,427
CONTACT?
303
00:06:26,469 --> 00:06:28,263
MELINDA ST. CLAIRE, 2-1-2...
304
00:06:28,305 --> 00:06:29,806
MELINDA ST. CLAIRE?
305
00:06:28,305 --> 00:06:29,806
WHO'S THAT?
306
00:06:29,848 --> 00:06:32,351
OH, SHE'S THE NUMBER ONE GIRL
307
00:06:29,848 --> 00:06:32,351
IN MY CYCLE.
308
00:06:32,391 --> 00:06:34,435
THAT'S SO FUNNY.
309
00:06:34,477 --> 00:06:36,730
IN CANADA,
310
00:06:34,477 --> 00:06:36,730
WE CALL IT A LOOP.
311
00:06:36,771 --> 00:06:37,939
(door slams)
312
00:06:43,528 --> 00:06:45,864
HELLO, FRIEND.
313
00:06:45,906 --> 00:06:48,449
I GOT YOUR MESSAGE.
314
00:06:48,491 --> 00:06:49,868
(presses button)
315
00:06:49,910 --> 00:06:52,162
(The Cranberries) ♪ DO YOU HAVE
316
00:06:49,910 --> 00:06:52,162
TO LET IT LINGER? ♪
317
00:06:52,204 --> 00:06:53,538
WHAT THE HELL IS THIS?
318
00:06:53,580 --> 00:06:54,873
I KNOW YOU SAID
319
00:06:53,580 --> 00:06:54,873
IT DOESN'T BOTHER YOU
320
00:06:54,915 --> 00:06:57,667
THAT MELINDA ST. CLAIRE
321
00:06:54,915 --> 00:06:57,667
IS NUMBER ONE IN BEN'S CYCLE.
322
00:06:57,709 --> 00:07:00,461
BUT YOU CAN'T PRETEND
323
00:06:57,709 --> 00:07:00,461
THAT YOU'RE NOT FEELING HURT.
324
00:07:00,503 --> 00:07:03,548
HE'S YOUR NUMBER ONE,
325
00:07:00,503 --> 00:07:03,548
AND YOU'RE NOT HIS.
326
00:07:03,590 --> 00:07:05,884
THAT IS JACKED UP.
327
00:07:05,926 --> 00:07:07,761
JUNE, I'VE ALREADY MOVED ON
328
00:07:05,926 --> 00:07:07,761
TO OTHER GUYS IN MY ROTATION.
329
00:07:07,802 --> 00:07:09,512
I DON'T REALLY CARE.
330
00:07:07,802 --> 00:07:09,512
SHH!
331
00:07:09,554 --> 00:07:12,473
JUST LET THE PERFECT BREAKUP
332
00:07:09,554 --> 00:07:12,473
SONG HEAL YOUR WOUNDS.
333
00:07:12,515 --> 00:07:14,475
TAKE YOUR FINGER
334
00:07:12,515 --> 00:07:14,475
OFF MY FACE.
335
00:07:14,517 --> 00:07:16,270
SORRY. THAT WAS TOO MUCH.
336
00:07:16,311 --> 00:07:19,480
JUNE, I DON'T CARE
337
00:07:16,311 --> 00:07:19,480
HOW BEN RANKS HIS CYCLE.
338
00:07:19,522 --> 00:07:21,482
WHY DO YOU THINK I DATE
339
00:07:19,522 --> 00:07:21,482
SIX GUYS AT A TIME?
340
00:07:21,524 --> 00:07:23,110
FOR EXACTLY THIS REASON.
341
00:07:23,151 --> 00:07:24,485
ONE GETS ANNOYING,
342
00:07:23,151 --> 00:07:24,485
ANOTHER ONE SLIPS RIGHT IN.
343
00:07:24,527 --> 00:07:25,486
IT'S HOW PAT RILEY
344
00:07:24,527 --> 00:07:25,486
RAN THE KNICKS.
345
00:07:25,528 --> 00:07:26,988
IT'S HOW I RUN MY SEX LIFE.
346
00:07:27,030 --> 00:07:28,573
I DON'T THINK YOU'RE
347
00:07:27,030 --> 00:07:28,573
BEING HONEST WITH YOURSELF.
348
00:07:28,615 --> 00:07:32,535
(sighs)
349
00:07:28,615 --> 00:07:32,535
AND ANOTHER GUY ISN'T GONNA
350
00:07:28,615 --> 00:07:32,535
HELP YOU GET OVER BENJAMIN.
351
00:07:32,577 --> 00:07:33,494
YOU HAVE TO MOURN,
352
00:07:33,536 --> 00:07:35,663
AND YOU HAVE TO EAT
353
00:07:33,536 --> 00:07:35,663
ICE CREAM,
354
00:07:35,705 --> 00:07:37,791
AND YOU HAVE TO BUILD
355
00:07:35,705 --> 00:07:37,791
A SHRINE.
356
00:07:37,832 --> 00:07:39,542
THAT'S WHAT I DID
357
00:07:37,832 --> 00:07:39,542
IN SEVENTH GRADE
358
00:07:39,584 --> 00:07:42,503
WHEN ME AND AARON DeMAYO
359
00:07:39,584 --> 00:07:42,503
BROKE UP.
360
00:07:42,545 --> 00:07:44,756
♪ DO YOU HAVE TO
361
00:07:42,545 --> 00:07:44,756
LET IT LINGER? ♪
362
00:07:44,798 --> 00:07:47,968
♪ DO YOU HAVE TO,
363
00:07:44,798 --> 00:07:47,968
DO YOU HAVE TO ♪
364
00:07:48,009 --> 00:07:50,511
♪ DO YOU HAVE TO
365
00:07:48,009 --> 00:07:50,511
LET IT LINGER? ♪
366
00:07:48,009 --> 00:07:50,511
(knock on door)
367
00:07:50,553 --> 00:07:51,888
HONEY, WE KNOW YOU'RE HURTING,
368
00:07:51,930 --> 00:07:54,141
BUT ENOUGH OF
369
00:07:51,930 --> 00:07:54,141
THIS GOSH-DARNED SONG.
370
00:07:54,182 --> 00:07:56,768
DONALD, DO NOT ALMOST
371
00:07:54,182 --> 00:07:56,768
SAY "GOD" IN ANGER.
372
00:07:56,810 --> 00:07:59,604
THIS WILL MAKE YOU FEEL
373
00:07:56,810 --> 00:07:59,604
SO MUCH BETTER.
374
00:07:59,646 --> 00:08:02,107
♪ DO YOU HAVE TO
375
00:07:59,646 --> 00:08:02,107
LET IT LINGER? ♪
376
00:08:02,149 --> 00:08:04,525
♪ DO YOU HAVE TO,
377
00:08:02,149 --> 00:08:04,525
DO YOU HAVE TO ♪
378
00:08:04,567 --> 00:08:07,612
♪ DO YOU HAVE TO
379
00:08:04,567 --> 00:08:07,612
LET IT LINGER? ♪
380
00:08:07,654 --> 00:08:10,157
MY FRIEND ALVIN AND I WOULD
381
00:08:07,654 --> 00:08:10,157
PERFORM THAT AT OPEN MIC NIGHT,
382
00:08:10,198 --> 00:08:13,201
AND WE WOULD...
383
00:08:10,198 --> 00:08:13,201
♪ CRUSH IT ♪
384
00:08:13,243 --> 00:08:14,535
HE'S DEAD NOW.
385
00:08:14,577 --> 00:08:17,538
♪♪♪
386
00:08:17,580 --> 00:08:20,041
PLEASE ENJOY YOUR COFFEE,
387
00:08:17,580 --> 00:08:20,041
COURTESY OF JAMES VAN DER BEEK.
388
00:08:20,083 --> 00:08:22,377
A CUP O' JOE
389
00:08:20,083 --> 00:08:22,377
FROM A REGULAR JOE.
390
00:08:22,419 --> 00:08:24,545
HOPE THIS FINALLY
391
00:08:22,419 --> 00:08:24,545
WINS THEIR ADMIRATION.
392
00:08:24,587 --> 00:08:26,256
WELL, IT'S WORKING FOR ME.
393
00:08:26,298 --> 00:08:27,548
I HAVEN'T HAD
394
00:08:26,298 --> 00:08:27,548
A MACCHIATO IN AGES,
395
00:08:27,590 --> 00:08:29,343
AND I AM BUZZING.
396
00:08:27,590 --> 00:08:29,343
(laughs)
397
00:08:29,384 --> 00:08:31,261
JAMES. THANKS FOR
398
00:08:29,384 --> 00:08:31,261
THE COFFEE.
399
00:08:31,303 --> 00:08:32,846
HEY. NO PROBLEM.
400
00:08:32,887 --> 00:08:34,806
HEY, WE NEED A FOURTH
401
00:08:32,887 --> 00:08:34,806
FOR BASKETBALL. YOU WANT IN?
402
00:08:34,848 --> 00:08:37,600
OH. YOU KNOW, I REALLY SHOULD
403
00:08:34,848 --> 00:08:37,600
MEMORIZE MY LINES
404
00:08:37,642 --> 00:08:38,601
WHILE WE'RE WAITING FOR BEN,
405
00:08:38,643 --> 00:08:41,021
BUT FOR YOU GUYS,
406
00:08:38,643 --> 00:08:41,021
FOR MY CREW...
407
00:08:43,106 --> 00:08:44,565
LET'S GO, BALLERS.
408
00:08:44,607 --> 00:08:45,817
(laughs)
409
00:08:44,607 --> 00:08:45,817
YEAH. ALL RIGHT.
410
00:08:45,859 --> 00:08:47,152
HEY, GUYS.
411
00:08:45,859 --> 00:08:47,152
SORRY I'M LATE.
412
00:08:47,194 --> 00:08:48,569
WHAT HAPPENED?
413
00:08:48,611 --> 00:08:51,072
I, UH, INJURED MYSELF
414
00:08:48,611 --> 00:08:51,072
DURING SEX.
415
00:08:51,114 --> 00:08:53,574
YEAH, YOU DID.
416
00:08:53,616 --> 00:08:55,576
LOOK, EVEN THOUGH
417
00:08:53,616 --> 00:08:55,576
I'M IN INCREDIBLE PAIN
418
00:08:55,618 --> 00:08:57,662
AND QUITE HIGH
419
00:08:55,618 --> 00:08:57,662
ON PRESCRIPTION MEDS,
420
00:08:57,704 --> 00:09:00,665
NOTHING IS GONNA KEEP ME
421
00:08:57,704 --> 00:09:00,665
FROM COMPLETING THIS COMMERCIAL
422
00:09:00,707 --> 00:09:03,418
FOR YOU GUYS...
423
00:09:00,707 --> 00:09:03,418
(slaps shoulder)
424
00:09:03,460 --> 00:09:05,295
MY CREW.
425
00:09:05,337 --> 00:09:06,880
LET'S GET TO WORK.
426
00:09:05,337 --> 00:09:06,880
(indistinct conversations)
427
00:09:06,921 --> 00:09:08,006
W--
428
00:09:08,048 --> 00:09:09,590
WE WERE SO CLOSE.
429
00:09:08,048 --> 00:09:09,590
WE WERE...
430
00:09:09,632 --> 00:09:10,758
WE WERE GONNA PLAY BALL,
431
00:09:10,800 --> 00:09:12,386
AND YOU WERE GONNA
432
00:09:10,800 --> 00:09:12,386
MAKE UP A NAME FOR ME,
433
00:09:12,427 --> 00:09:14,762
LIKE "VAN DER JAM"
434
00:09:12,427 --> 00:09:14,762
OR "HOOPSTA."
435
00:09:14,804 --> 00:09:17,307
DON'T WORRY, MAN.
436
00:09:14,804 --> 00:09:17,307
I'LL PLAY BALL WITH YA...
437
00:09:17,349 --> 00:09:18,892
AFTER I HUG BEN.
438
00:09:18,933 --> 00:09:20,894
GOSH. HE'S INSPIRING,
439
00:09:18,933 --> 00:09:20,894
YOU KNOW? (chuckles)
440
00:09:20,935 --> 00:09:23,021
PLUS, HE'S, LIKE, YOKED.
441
00:09:23,063 --> 00:09:25,606
HE MUST HAVE A HOME GYM.
442
00:09:25,648 --> 00:09:27,608
I'M GONNA ASK HIM
443
00:09:25,648 --> 00:09:27,608
DURING THE HUG.
444
00:09:27,650 --> 00:09:30,611
(Icona Pop's "I Love It"
445
00:09:27,650 --> 00:09:30,611
playing)
446
00:09:30,653 --> 00:09:32,613
♪ YOU'RE FROM THE '70s ♪
447
00:09:32,655 --> 00:09:34,824
♪ BUT I'M A '90s BITCH ♪
448
00:09:34,866 --> 00:09:36,076
♪ I LOVE IT ♪
449
00:09:36,117 --> 00:09:37,618
I'M SO GLAD YOU CALLED,
450
00:09:36,117 --> 00:09:37,618
CHLOE.
451
00:09:37,660 --> 00:09:39,620
I'M SO GLAD YOU GROUNDED
452
00:09:37,660 --> 00:09:39,620
YOUR PLANE, DEREK.
453
00:09:39,662 --> 00:09:41,622
(laughs)
454
00:09:41,664 --> 00:09:42,874
♪ I LOVE IT ♪
455
00:09:42,916 --> 00:09:44,625
YOU EVER FOOL AROUND
456
00:09:42,916 --> 00:09:44,625
IN A BATHROOM BEFORE?
457
00:09:44,667 --> 00:09:45,877
MELINDA TIMES.
458
00:09:45,919 --> 00:09:47,087
WHAT?
459
00:09:47,128 --> 00:09:48,629
I'M IN
460
00:09:47,128 --> 00:09:48,629
THE MELINDA HIGH CLUB.
461
00:09:48,671 --> 00:09:50,215
BEFORE WE GET STARTED,
462
00:09:48,671 --> 00:09:50,215
I JUST WANT YOU TO KNOW,
463
00:09:50,257 --> 00:09:52,633
I TESTED POSITIVE
464
00:09:50,257 --> 00:09:52,633
FOR MELINDA.
465
00:09:52,675 --> 00:09:53,634
ARE YOU ON BIRTH CONTROL?
466
00:09:53,676 --> 00:09:55,636
'CAUSE I DON'T LIKE
467
00:09:53,676 --> 00:09:55,636
TO WEAR A MELINDA.
468
00:09:55,678 --> 00:09:57,556
(gasps)
469
00:09:57,597 --> 00:09:58,848
SIX GUYS ALL RUINED,
470
00:09:58,890 --> 00:10:00,016
AND SOME BITCH NAMED MELINDA'S
471
00:09:58,890 --> 00:10:00,016
IN MY HEAD,
472
00:10:00,058 --> 00:10:02,060
AND IT'S ALL BEN'S FAULT.
473
00:10:02,102 --> 00:10:03,644
HOW COULD THE CREW
474
00:10:02,102 --> 00:10:03,644
CHOOSE BEN OVER ME?
475
00:10:03,686 --> 00:10:05,688
I OFFERED THEM
476
00:10:03,686 --> 00:10:05,688
MY FRIENDSHIP.
477
00:10:05,730 --> 00:10:06,814
I WOULD KILL TO BE FRIENDS
478
00:10:05,730 --> 00:10:06,814
WITH ME.
479
00:10:06,856 --> 00:10:08,649
LITERALLY, I--IF SOMEBODY
480
00:10:06,856 --> 00:10:08,649
WAS FRIENDS WITH ME,
481
00:10:08,691 --> 00:10:10,651
I WOULD KILL THEM SO I COULD
482
00:10:08,691 --> 00:10:10,651
BE FRIENDS WITH ME.
483
00:10:10,693 --> 00:10:13,654
WHO RIPPED OUT
484
00:10:10,693 --> 00:10:13,654
THE MIDDLE OF MY BOOK?
485
00:10:13,696 --> 00:10:15,656
I NEEDED TO TALK TO YOU.
486
00:10:15,698 --> 00:10:17,658
I TRIED TO HOOK UP WITH
487
00:10:15,698 --> 00:10:17,658
THE OTHER GUYS IN MY ROTATION.
488
00:10:17,700 --> 00:10:19,660
BUT I KEPT HEARING THEM
489
00:10:17,700 --> 00:10:19,660
SAY "MELINDA."
490
00:10:19,702 --> 00:10:21,746
CHLOE, THIS IS WHAT
491
00:10:19,702 --> 00:10:21,746
I WAS SAYING BEFORE.
492
00:10:21,788 --> 00:10:24,499
IT BUGS YOU THAT YOU'RE NOT
493
00:10:21,788 --> 00:10:24,499
BEN'S NUMBER ONE.
494
00:10:24,541 --> 00:10:25,833
FOR THE FIRST TIME
495
00:10:24,541 --> 00:10:25,833
IN YOUR LIFE,
496
00:10:25,875 --> 00:10:26,960
YOU ARE JEALOUS.
497
00:10:27,001 --> 00:10:28,711
PLEASE.
498
00:10:27,001 --> 00:10:28,711
I DON'T GET JEALOUS.
499
00:10:28,753 --> 00:10:30,755
I MAKE JEALOUS
500
00:10:28,753 --> 00:10:30,755
IN OTHER PEOPLE.
501
00:10:30,797 --> 00:10:32,340
I MAKE OTHER PEOPLE
502
00:10:30,797 --> 00:10:32,340
JEALOUS.
503
00:10:32,382 --> 00:10:34,675
YEAH, SO DID I.
504
00:10:32,382 --> 00:10:34,675
NOW LOOK AT US.
505
00:10:34,717 --> 00:10:36,677
WE WERE ONCE GOLDEN GODS.
506
00:10:34,717 --> 00:10:36,677
NOW...
507
00:10:36,719 --> 00:10:38,263
WE'RE NUMBER TWOS.
508
00:10:38,305 --> 00:10:40,390
TWO NUMBER TWOS
509
00:10:38,305 --> 00:10:40,390
IN A TUB.
510
00:10:40,432 --> 00:10:42,767
I BOUGHT THAT DVD
511
00:10:40,432 --> 00:10:42,767
IN GERMANY.
512
00:10:42,809 --> 00:10:44,727
WEIRD COUNTRY.
513
00:10:44,769 --> 00:10:46,313
CHLOE, THERE IS A REASON
514
00:10:46,354 --> 00:10:48,189
WHY YOU ARE SITTING HERE
515
00:10:46,354 --> 00:10:48,189
IN THIS TUB
516
00:10:48,231 --> 00:10:50,691
INSTEAD OF OUT
517
00:10:48,231 --> 00:10:50,691
WITH YOUR FIVE OTHER GUYS.
518
00:10:50,733 --> 00:10:53,987
BENJAMIN IS MORE THAN JUST
519
00:10:50,733 --> 00:10:53,987
SOMEONE IN YOUR ROTATION.
520
00:10:54,028 --> 00:10:56,697
MAYBE HE IS.
521
00:10:56,739 --> 00:10:58,699
WELL, I MEAN, DO YOU WANT
522
00:10:56,739 --> 00:10:58,699
TO BE EXCLUSIVE WITH HIM?
523
00:10:58,741 --> 00:11:01,286
NO MORE ROTATION,
524
00:10:58,741 --> 00:11:01,286
JUST HIM?
525
00:11:01,328 --> 00:11:02,703
(sighs) MAYBE I DO.
526
00:11:02,745 --> 00:11:04,623
WELL, THEN TALK TO HIM.
527
00:11:04,664 --> 00:11:06,958
TELL HIM HOW YOU FEEL.
528
00:11:07,000 --> 00:11:09,752
(exhales)
529
00:11:13,672 --> 00:11:14,715
OW!
530
00:11:14,757 --> 00:11:16,717
THAT'S JUST ME BEING
531
00:11:14,757 --> 00:11:16,717
UNCOMFORTABLE WITH THE TRUTH.
532
00:11:16,759 --> 00:11:18,719
(exhales) THANK YOU, JUNE.
533
00:11:20,013 --> 00:11:22,641
HOW LONG HAVE THOSE
534
00:11:20,013 --> 00:11:22,641
BEEN IN?
535
00:11:22,681 --> 00:11:23,766
AN HOUR.
536
00:11:23,808 --> 00:11:25,268
TAKE 'EM OUT.
537
00:11:29,606 --> 00:11:32,733
BENJAMIN LOVETT?
538
00:11:32,775 --> 00:11:34,569
WE'RE WITH
539
00:11:32,775 --> 00:11:34,569
U.S. IMMIGRATION SERVICES.
540
00:11:34,611 --> 00:11:35,778
WE NEED TO SEE
541
00:11:34,611 --> 00:11:35,778
YOUR WORK VISA.
542
00:11:35,820 --> 00:11:37,947
UH, YEAH.
543
00:11:39,782 --> 00:11:41,576
I'M SURE YOU'LL FIND
544
00:11:39,782 --> 00:11:41,576
EVERYTHING'S CURRENT
545
00:11:41,618 --> 00:11:42,827
AND UP TO DATE.
546
00:11:42,869 --> 00:11:44,954
YEP, SURE IS.
547
00:11:42,869 --> 00:11:44,954
GREAT.
548
00:11:44,996 --> 00:11:46,331
BUT YOU'RE STILL
549
00:11:44,996 --> 00:11:46,331
GETTING DEPORTED.
550
00:11:46,373 --> 00:11:49,167
(chuckles) WHAT IS THIS,
551
00:11:46,373 --> 00:11:49,167
SOME KIND OF JOKE?
552
00:11:49,209 --> 00:11:51,169
NO, SIR.
553
00:11:49,209 --> 00:11:51,169
THIS COMES FROM THE VERY TOP.
554
00:11:51,211 --> 00:11:52,795
WE'RE GONNA NEED YOU
555
00:11:51,211 --> 00:11:52,795
ON A PLANE BACK TO AUSTRALIA.
556
00:11:52,837 --> 00:11:54,922
WH--HEY,
557
00:11:52,837 --> 00:11:54,922
YOU CAN'T DO THIS.
558
00:11:54,964 --> 00:11:57,467
WH-WHY IS THIS HAPPENING?
559
00:11:57,509 --> 00:11:59,760
(cell phone rings)
560
00:11:59,802 --> 00:12:01,221
(beep)
561
00:11:59,802 --> 00:12:01,221
HELLO.
562
00:12:01,262 --> 00:12:02,222
IT'S DONE.
563
00:12:02,263 --> 00:12:04,683
THANKS, JULIUS.
564
00:12:02,263 --> 00:12:04,683
I OWE YOU ONE.
565
00:12:04,723 --> 00:12:05,808
SO CAN I TAKE YOU
566
00:12:04,723 --> 00:12:05,808
ON MY BROTHER'S HOUSEBOAT
567
00:12:05,850 --> 00:12:07,477
LIKE YOU PROMISED?
568
00:12:07,519 --> 00:12:08,769
IS THERE ANY WAY
569
00:12:08,811 --> 00:12:10,938
BENJAMIN'S DEPORTATION
570
00:12:08,811 --> 00:12:10,938
CAN BE UNDONE?
571
00:12:10,980 --> 00:12:12,773
NOPE. IT'S ALREADY
572
00:12:10,980 --> 00:12:12,773
BEEN PROCESSED.
573
00:12:12,815 --> 00:12:13,816
THEN, NO.
574
00:12:13,858 --> 00:12:15,235
(beep)
575
00:12:15,276 --> 00:12:16,444
(door slams)
576
00:12:21,408 --> 00:12:22,701
CHLOE.
577
00:12:22,741 --> 00:12:23,826
HEY, DID YOU SEE THAT GUY
578
00:12:22,741 --> 00:12:23,826
I WAS WITH?
579
00:12:23,868 --> 00:12:25,870
HE'S SOMETHING CALLED
580
00:12:23,868 --> 00:12:25,870
AN INSURANCE ADJUSTER.
581
00:12:25,912 --> 00:12:27,455
SO HOT.
582
00:12:27,497 --> 00:12:29,790
I'M THINKING ABOUT GIVING HIM
583
00:12:27,497 --> 00:12:29,790
A SPOT IN MY ROTATION.
584
00:12:29,832 --> 00:12:30,791
WHAT ABOUT BEN?
585
00:12:30,833 --> 00:12:32,793
HE HAS CALLED THE APARTMENT
586
00:12:30,833 --> 00:12:32,793
A THOUSAND TIMES.
587
00:12:32,835 --> 00:12:34,795
YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO
588
00:12:32,835 --> 00:12:34,795
TELL HIM HOW YOU FELT,
589
00:12:34,837 --> 00:12:35,796
NOT GET HIM DEPORTED.
590
00:12:35,838 --> 00:12:37,215
WELL, I THOUGHT ABOUT IT
591
00:12:37,257 --> 00:12:39,467
AND I REALIZED I FELT
592
00:12:37,257 --> 00:12:39,467
LIKE GETTING HIM DEPORTED.
593
00:12:39,509 --> 00:12:40,843
OH, GOSH. YOU KNOW WHAT?
594
00:12:39,509 --> 00:12:40,843
I AM DONE.
595
00:12:40,885 --> 00:12:43,513
I AM NOT GONNA GIVE YOU
596
00:12:40,885 --> 00:12:43,513
ANY MORE RELATIONSHIP ADVICE.
597
00:12:43,555 --> 00:12:44,805
OKAY.
598
00:12:44,847 --> 00:12:46,099
BUT THE LAST THING
599
00:12:44,847 --> 00:12:46,099
THAT I'LL SAY
600
00:12:46,140 --> 00:12:47,642
IS JUST BECAUSE
601
00:12:46,140 --> 00:12:47,642
YOU GOT BEN DEPORTED
602
00:12:47,684 --> 00:12:48,851
DOESN'T MEAN
603
00:12:47,684 --> 00:12:48,851
THAT YOU'LL BE OVER HIM.
604
00:12:48,893 --> 00:12:52,439
HE'S STILL GOING TO BE
605
00:12:48,893 --> 00:12:52,439
IN HERE AND IN HERE.
606
00:12:52,480 --> 00:12:55,316
THE ONLY PLACE THAT
607
00:12:52,480 --> 00:12:55,316
A GUY SHOULD BE IS HERE.
608
00:12:55,358 --> 00:12:56,484
JUNE, I'M NOT LIKE YOU.
609
00:12:56,526 --> 00:12:57,736
I DON'T GET TWISTED UP
610
00:12:56,526 --> 00:12:57,736
OVER GUYS.
611
00:12:57,776 --> 00:13:00,029
I HAVE GREAT EXPERIENCES
612
00:12:57,776 --> 00:13:00,029
AND I MOVE ON.
613
00:13:00,071 --> 00:13:01,822
I DON'T GET TWISTED UP
614
00:13:00,071 --> 00:13:01,822
OVER GUYS EITHER.
615
00:13:01,864 --> 00:13:03,824
I JUST KNOW YOU CAN'T DO
616
00:13:01,864 --> 00:13:03,824
SOMETHING SO SELFISH
617
00:13:03,866 --> 00:13:05,826
THAT IT AFFECTS SOMEONE
618
00:13:03,866 --> 00:13:05,826
FOR THE REST OF THEIR LIFE.
619
00:13:05,868 --> 00:13:07,995
I COULD'VE DONE THAT, TOO.
620
00:13:08,037 --> 00:13:09,997
AFTER AARON BROKE UP WITH ME,
621
00:13:10,039 --> 00:13:12,208
I WAS MOVING ON
622
00:13:10,039 --> 00:13:12,208
WITH MY OWN LIFE...
623
00:13:10,039 --> 00:13:12,208
(spritzes)
624
00:13:12,250 --> 00:13:13,710
WHEN I DISCOVERED
625
00:13:13,752 --> 00:13:15,836
THAT THERESA FISHER
626
00:13:15,878 --> 00:13:17,922
WAS A SMOKER.
627
00:13:15,878 --> 00:13:17,922
(liquid splashes)
628
00:13:17,964 --> 00:13:20,091
I COULD'VE BUSTED HER
629
00:13:17,964 --> 00:13:20,091
AND GOTTEN HER EXPELLED
630
00:13:20,133 --> 00:13:23,094
AND HAD AARON ALL TO MYSELF,
631
00:13:20,133 --> 00:13:23,094
BUT I CHOSE NOT TO,
632
00:13:23,136 --> 00:13:26,055
BECAUSE YOU DON'T MESS
633
00:13:23,136 --> 00:13:26,055
WITH PEOPLE LIKE THAT.
634
00:13:26,097 --> 00:13:27,848
BUT WHAT IF I HAD MADE
635
00:13:26,097 --> 00:13:27,848
A DIFFERENT CHOICE?
636
00:13:27,890 --> 00:13:29,850
MAYBE AARON AND I
637
00:13:27,890 --> 00:13:29,850
WOULD'VE KEPT DATING.
638
00:13:29,892 --> 00:13:32,729
MAYBE WE'D STILL BE TOGETHER.
639
00:13:29,892 --> 00:13:32,729
WHO KNOWS?
640
00:13:32,771 --> 00:13:35,856
THAT'S WHY YOU KEEP
641
00:13:32,771 --> 00:13:35,856
TALKING ABOUT THIS GUY.
642
00:13:35,898 --> 00:13:38,777
BECAUSE YOU THINK
643
00:13:35,898 --> 00:13:38,777
HE'S THE ONE THAT GOT AWAY.
644
00:13:38,817 --> 00:13:40,069
WHAT?
645
00:13:38,817 --> 00:13:40,069
NO, I DON'T THINK THAT.
646
00:13:40,111 --> 00:13:41,321
IT ALL MAKES SENSE NOW.
647
00:13:41,362 --> 00:13:42,739
THAT'S WHY
648
00:13:41,362 --> 00:13:42,739
YOU'RE STILL OBSESSED
649
00:13:42,781 --> 00:13:45,116
WITH SOME GUY WHO DUMPED YOU
650
00:13:42,781 --> 00:13:45,116
A MILLION YEARS AGO.
651
00:13:45,158 --> 00:13:46,701
JUNE, I MADE OUT
652
00:13:45,158 --> 00:13:46,701
WITH TWO GIRLS
653
00:13:46,743 --> 00:13:48,286
WHILE YOU WERE TELLING ME
654
00:13:46,743 --> 00:13:48,286
THAT STUPID STORY.
655
00:13:48,328 --> 00:13:50,246
YOU NEED TO MOVE ON
656
00:13:48,328 --> 00:13:50,246
WITH YOUR LIFE.
657
00:13:50,288 --> 00:13:52,540
(clank)
658
00:13:50,288 --> 00:13:52,540
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
659
00:13:52,582 --> 00:13:53,874
HELPING YOU.
660
00:13:53,916 --> 00:13:54,875
ALSO HELPING YOU.
661
00:13:54,917 --> 00:13:56,127
IF YOU'RE GONNA GRAB MY BOOB,
662
00:13:54,917 --> 00:13:56,127
JUST GRAB IT.
663
00:13:56,169 --> 00:13:57,878
BUT DON'T TEASE ME.
664
00:13:57,920 --> 00:13:59,798
♪ I DON'T CARE ♪
665
00:13:59,838 --> 00:14:00,965
♪ I LOVE IT ♪
666
00:14:01,007 --> 00:14:02,676
♪ I DON'T CARE ♪
667
00:14:02,717 --> 00:14:04,511
GREAT DAY, ISN'T IT?
668
00:14:04,552 --> 00:14:06,554
BEN'S BEEN DEPORTED.
669
00:14:06,596 --> 00:14:08,389
THE CREW IS IN A PANIC.
670
00:14:08,431 --> 00:14:11,601
WHAT THEY NEED RIGHT NOW
671
00:14:08,431 --> 00:14:11,601
IS A LEADER, A ROCK.
672
00:14:11,643 --> 00:14:12,935
AND YOU KNOW WHO THAT IS?
673
00:14:12,977 --> 00:14:14,145
ME?
674
00:14:14,187 --> 00:14:15,896
(chuckles)
675
00:14:14,187 --> 00:14:15,896
I'M JUST KIDDING, JAMES.
676
00:14:15,938 --> 00:14:17,898
I KNOW IT'S YOU.
677
00:14:17,940 --> 00:14:21,110
I'M JUST TRYING
678
00:14:17,940 --> 00:14:21,110
TO KEEP IT LIGHT.
679
00:14:21,152 --> 00:14:22,612
(clears throat)
680
00:14:23,946 --> 00:14:25,906
ALL RIGHT. LISTEN, EVERYONE.
681
00:14:25,948 --> 00:14:28,993
UH, I KNOW IT'S A SHAME
682
00:14:25,948 --> 00:14:28,993
ABOUT BEN BEING DEPORTED,
683
00:14:29,035 --> 00:14:31,954
BUT I JUST WANNA LET YOU GUYS
684
00:14:29,035 --> 00:14:31,954
KNOW THAT I AM STILL HERE.
685
00:14:31,996 --> 00:14:33,914
I'M NOT GOING TO ABANDON YOU.
686
00:14:33,956 --> 00:14:36,209
MY AGENT TALKED TO
687
00:14:33,956 --> 00:14:36,209
THE PRODUCTION COMPANY
688
00:14:36,250 --> 00:14:38,169
AND CONVINCED THEM THAT WE'VE
689
00:14:36,250 --> 00:14:38,169
ALREADY SHOT ENOUGH FOOTAGE
690
00:14:38,211 --> 00:14:39,920
TO CUT TOGETHER
691
00:14:38,211 --> 00:14:39,920
A GREAT COMMERCIAL.
692
00:14:39,962 --> 00:14:42,131
SO ARTISTICALLY,
693
00:14:39,962 --> 00:14:42,131
YOU GUYS DON'T NEED TO WORRY.
694
00:14:42,173 --> 00:14:44,551
YOUR WORK WILL BE SEEN.
695
00:14:44,592 --> 00:14:46,927
WE WERE SUPPOSED TO SHOOT
696
00:14:44,592 --> 00:14:46,927
FOR ANOTHER WEEK.
697
00:14:46,969 --> 00:14:48,304
WILL WE STILL GET PAID?
698
00:14:48,346 --> 00:14:50,640
I DON'T SEE HOW.
699
00:14:52,016 --> 00:14:53,184
ANYWAY, ISN'T THIS AWESOME?
700
00:14:53,226 --> 00:14:55,645
I GOT US THE REST OF THE WEEK
701
00:14:53,226 --> 00:14:55,645
OFF! (laughs)
702
00:14:55,687 --> 00:14:58,022
WHO'S UP FOR SUSHI
703
00:14:55,687 --> 00:14:58,022
AND A MATINEE?
704
00:14:58,064 --> 00:15:00,107
(singsongy)
705
00:14:58,064 --> 00:15:00,107
CALIFORNIA ROLL!
706
00:15:00,149 --> 00:15:01,942
♪ OOH, LA LA LA ♪
707
00:15:01,984 --> 00:15:03,944
WE CAN'T GO IN HERE.
708
00:15:01,984 --> 00:15:03,944
THIS IS WHERE MEN GO.
709
00:15:03,986 --> 00:15:05,780
I DID NOT GET
710
00:15:03,986 --> 00:15:05,780
MY PILOT LOVER DEREK
711
00:15:05,822 --> 00:15:07,741
TO GET US ON
712
00:15:05,822 --> 00:15:07,741
A LAST-MINUTE FLIGHT TO INDIANA
713
00:15:07,782 --> 00:15:08,825
TO COME TO
714
00:15:07,782 --> 00:15:08,825
A LOBSTER BARREL BATHROOM
715
00:15:08,867 --> 00:15:10,744
AND NOT CONFRONT AARON DeMAYO.
716
00:15:10,785 --> 00:15:12,537
AARON DeMAYO!
717
00:15:12,579 --> 00:15:14,997
(toilet flushes)
718
00:15:12,579 --> 00:15:14,997
GET OUT HERE!
719
00:15:15,039 --> 00:15:16,875
(gasps) JUNE.
720
00:15:16,916 --> 00:15:19,960
IF THIS IS HIM,
721
00:15:16,916 --> 00:15:19,960
I GET IT AND I AM IN.
722
00:15:20,002 --> 00:15:21,962
(flushes)
723
00:15:22,004 --> 00:15:24,591
JUNE?
724
00:15:22,004 --> 00:15:24,591
HEY, AARON!
725
00:15:24,632 --> 00:15:27,134
WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?
726
00:15:27,176 --> 00:15:28,803
JUNE STILL HAS YOUR
727
00:15:27,176 --> 00:15:28,803
OLD PHONE NUMBER MEMORIZED.
728
00:15:28,845 --> 00:15:30,179
AND YOUR MOM SAID
729
00:15:28,845 --> 00:15:30,179
YOU'D BE HERE.
730
00:15:30,221 --> 00:15:32,973
NOW JUNE IS GONNA
731
00:15:30,221 --> 00:15:32,973
SCREW IT OUT WITH YOU
732
00:15:33,015 --> 00:15:34,183
SO SHE REALIZES THAT YOU'RE
733
00:15:33,015 --> 00:15:34,183
NOT THE ONE THAT GOT AWAY
734
00:15:34,225 --> 00:15:35,976
AND FINALLY MOVES ON.
735
00:15:36,018 --> 00:15:37,896
NO! NO, I-I-I DON'T WANT
736
00:15:36,018 --> 00:15:37,896
TO SCREW.
737
00:15:37,937 --> 00:15:38,979
I'M HERE BECAUSE
738
00:15:39,021 --> 00:15:41,232
MY CRAZY ROOMMATE IS TRYING
739
00:15:39,021 --> 00:15:41,232
TO PROVE A POINT.
740
00:15:41,274 --> 00:15:44,026
SHE THINKS THAT YOU AND I HAVE
741
00:15:41,274 --> 00:15:44,026
"UNFINISHED BUSINESS."
742
00:15:44,068 --> 00:15:45,779
SHE'S GOING THROUGH A THING
743
00:15:44,068 --> 00:15:45,779
WITH A GUY,
744
00:15:45,820 --> 00:15:47,154
AND I'M TRYING TO TELL HER
745
00:15:47,196 --> 00:15:49,783
THAT SHE CAN'T DO
746
00:15:47,196 --> 00:15:49,783
WHATEVER SHE WANTS TO PEOPLE.
747
00:15:49,824 --> 00:15:51,992
LIKE, WHEN I BUSTED
748
00:15:49,824 --> 00:15:51,992
THERESA FISHER FOR SMOKING
749
00:15:52,034 --> 00:15:54,995
AND I COULD'VE GOTTEN HER
750
00:15:52,034 --> 00:15:54,995
EXPELLED BUT I CHOSE NOT TO.
751
00:15:55,037 --> 00:15:57,998
OH, MY GOD. I TOTALLY FORGOT
752
00:15:55,037 --> 00:15:57,998
THAT THERESA USED TO SMOKE.
753
00:15:58,040 --> 00:16:00,000
(laughs)
754
00:15:58,040 --> 00:16:00,000
I'M SURPRISED A.J. WAS
755
00:16:00,042 --> 00:16:01,628
BORN WITH ALL HIS FINGERS
756
00:16:00,042 --> 00:16:01,628
AND TOES.
757
00:16:01,669 --> 00:16:03,296
(laughs) WAIT. WHO'S A.J.?
758
00:16:03,337 --> 00:16:05,005
OH, SORRY. A.J.'s OUR SON.
759
00:16:05,047 --> 00:16:08,008
WAIT.
760
00:16:05,047 --> 00:16:08,008
YOU AND THERESA ARE MARRIED?
761
00:16:08,050 --> 00:16:10,094
AARON, WHAT IS TAKING YOU
762
00:16:08,050 --> 00:16:10,094
SO LONG?
763
00:16:10,136 --> 00:16:11,888
A.J.'s INSISTING ON GOING
764
00:16:10,136 --> 00:16:11,888
IN THE MEN'S ROOM,
765
00:16:11,930 --> 00:16:13,013
BUT YOU NEVER CAME BACK
766
00:16:11,930 --> 00:16:13,013
TO THE TABLE,
767
00:16:13,055 --> 00:16:15,850
AND NOW I'VE LEFT THE TWINS
768
00:16:13,055 --> 00:16:15,850
ALONE WITH THEIR MAC AND CHEESE.
769
00:16:15,892 --> 00:16:19,061
GOD, THIS IS SO REAL.
770
00:16:15,892 --> 00:16:19,061
HEARTLAND.
771
00:16:19,103 --> 00:16:22,231
HEY, THERESA. HI, I'M JUNE.
772
00:16:19,103 --> 00:16:22,231
WE WENT TO SCHOOL TOGETHER.
773
00:16:22,273 --> 00:16:24,317
YEAH, IT'S NICE TO MEET YOU.
774
00:16:22,273 --> 00:16:24,317
AARON, CAN YA TAKE A.J.?
775
00:16:24,358 --> 00:16:26,110
HE KEEPS SAYING
776
00:16:24,358 --> 00:16:26,110
HE'S GONNA EXPLODE.
777
00:16:26,152 --> 00:16:27,862
KIND OF IN THE MIDDLE
778
00:16:26,152 --> 00:16:27,862
OF SOMETHING HERE.
779
00:16:27,904 --> 00:16:29,029
OH. OKAY.
780
00:16:29,071 --> 00:16:31,198
NO, I'LL DO IT.
781
00:16:29,071 --> 00:16:31,198
THAT'S FINE.
782
00:16:31,240 --> 00:16:33,033
BUT I AM GOING TO CABO
783
00:16:31,240 --> 00:16:33,033
AT THE END OF THE MONTH
784
00:16:33,075 --> 00:16:35,912
WITH MY SISTER,
785
00:16:33,075 --> 00:16:35,912
AND I'M DRINKING TEQUILA.
786
00:16:38,080 --> 00:16:40,708
THERE'S A LITTLE BOY IN THERE,
787
00:16:38,080 --> 00:16:40,708
AND THAT WEIRDS ME OUT.
788
00:16:40,750 --> 00:16:45,045
AARON, I-I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU
789
00:16:40,750 --> 00:16:45,045
AND THERESA ENDED UP TOGETHER.
790
00:16:45,087 --> 00:16:46,130
(Theresa) LIVIN' THE DREAM!
791
00:16:46,172 --> 00:16:47,465
GUESS IT WAS FATE.
792
00:16:47,507 --> 00:16:50,343
YEAH. OR IT WAS ME.
793
00:16:47,507 --> 00:16:50,343
(chuckles)
794
00:16:50,384 --> 00:16:52,470
WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
795
00:16:52,512 --> 00:16:57,057
WELL, IF, YOU KNOW,
796
00:16:52,512 --> 00:16:57,057
I'D GOTTEN THERESA EXPELLED,
797
00:16:57,099 --> 00:16:59,059
THINGS MIGHT'VE TURNED OUT
798
00:16:57,099 --> 00:16:59,059
DIFFERENTLY.
799
00:16:59,101 --> 00:17:02,062
YOU KNOW, MAYBE YOU AND I
800
00:16:59,101 --> 00:17:02,062
WOULD'VE KEPT ON DATING.
801
00:17:02,104 --> 00:17:04,064
MAYBE WE'D STILL BE DATING.
802
00:17:04,106 --> 00:17:07,067
WHO KNOWS? MAYBE I'D BE
803
00:17:04,106 --> 00:17:07,067
THE ONE IN THERE IN THE STALL,
804
00:17:07,109 --> 00:17:08,319
HELPING A.J. GO.
805
00:17:08,361 --> 00:17:10,488
(Theresa) HEY, GET IN HERE,
806
00:17:08,361 --> 00:17:10,488
HONEY! KNOCK YOURSELF OUT!
807
00:17:10,530 --> 00:17:13,992
JUNE, THIS PICTURE
808
00:17:10,530 --> 00:17:13,992
THAT YOU'RE PAINTING...
809
00:17:14,033 --> 00:17:15,535
DO YOU REALLY WANT IT?
810
00:17:15,576 --> 00:17:17,161
DO YOU REALLY WANNA
811
00:17:15,576 --> 00:17:17,161
LIVE HERE
812
00:17:17,203 --> 00:17:20,164
WITH THIS GUY AND THAT BABY
813
00:17:17,203 --> 00:17:20,164
AND THESE LOBSTERS?
814
00:17:20,206 --> 00:17:22,249
WELL, I...
815
00:17:22,291 --> 00:17:23,751
OR DID YOU JUST GET HUNG UP
816
00:17:22,291 --> 00:17:23,751
ON THE IDEA
817
00:17:23,793 --> 00:17:26,587
BECAUSE YOU THOUGHT THIS GUY
818
00:17:23,793 --> 00:17:26,587
WAS THE ONE WHO GOT AWAY?
819
00:17:28,214 --> 00:17:30,090
YOU'RE RIGHT.
820
00:17:30,132 --> 00:17:33,386
WHAT AM I TALKING ABOUT?
821
00:17:30,132 --> 00:17:33,386
I-I DON'T WANT THIS.
822
00:17:33,427 --> 00:17:35,179
I WANT THIS.
823
00:17:35,221 --> 00:17:37,097
OH, I KNEW IT.
824
00:17:37,139 --> 00:17:39,017
JUNE, I KISSED THOSE GIRLS
825
00:17:39,058 --> 00:17:40,768
TO ILLUSTRATE HOW BORING
826
00:17:39,058 --> 00:17:40,768
YOUR STORY WAS.
827
00:17:40,810 --> 00:17:44,104
IF I MISLED YOU IN SOME WAY,
828
00:17:40,810 --> 00:17:44,104
I'M--
829
00:17:40,810 --> 00:17:44,104
NO! NO!
830
00:17:44,146 --> 00:17:46,106
I WANT WHAT YOU REPRESENT--
831
00:17:46,148 --> 00:17:49,360
MY LIFE IN NEW YORK,
832
00:17:46,148 --> 00:17:49,360
THE LIFE THAT I ALREADY HAVE.
833
00:17:49,402 --> 00:17:52,154
SEE? I TOLD YOU. YOU MAKE
834
00:17:49,402 --> 00:17:52,154
A BIG MOVE AND YOU GET CLARITY.
835
00:17:52,196 --> 00:17:53,531
YOU JUST HAD TO GET AARON DeMAYO
836
00:17:52,196 --> 00:17:53,531
OUT OF YOUR SYSTEM,
837
00:17:53,573 --> 00:17:55,115
THE SAME WAY I HAD TO DO
838
00:17:53,573 --> 00:17:55,115
WITH BENJAMIN.
839
00:17:55,157 --> 00:17:57,410
OH, BENJAMIN IS THIS GUY
840
00:17:55,157 --> 00:17:57,410
THAT I GOT DEPORTED.
841
00:17:57,451 --> 00:17:58,578
IT'S A REALLY LONG STORY,
842
00:17:58,619 --> 00:18:00,120
BUT I'LL TELL YOU ABOUT IT
843
00:17:58,619 --> 00:18:00,120
RIGHT NOW.
844
00:18:00,162 --> 00:18:02,122
(Chloe) WE WERE FINALLY GOING
845
00:18:00,162 --> 00:18:02,122
TO BE IN THE SAME CITY
846
00:18:02,164 --> 00:18:03,750
FOR A LONG STRETCH OF TIME,
847
00:18:03,791 --> 00:18:05,543
SO WE DECIDED TO HAVE SEX IN
848
00:18:03,791 --> 00:18:05,543
BATHROOMS EVERYWHERE WE COULD.
849
00:18:05,585 --> 00:18:07,587
WE DID IT IN MY APARTMENT,
850
00:18:05,585 --> 00:18:07,587
DIANE SAWYER'S DRESSING ROOM,
851
00:18:07,628 --> 00:18:08,755
AN R.V...
852
00:18:08,796 --> 00:18:10,130
OH, MY GOD.
853
00:18:08,796 --> 00:18:10,130
WHAT AM I DOING?
854
00:18:10,172 --> 00:18:11,340
WHY AM I TALKING ABOUT
855
00:18:11,382 --> 00:18:12,383
SOMETHING THAT HAPPENED
856
00:18:11,382 --> 00:18:12,383
A MILLION YEARS AGO?
857
00:18:12,425 --> 00:18:13,634
THAT WAS YESTERDAY.
858
00:18:13,676 --> 00:18:15,386
EXACTLY!
859
00:18:13,676 --> 00:18:15,386
WHY HAVEN'T I MOVED ON?
860
00:18:15,428 --> 00:18:17,096
CAN SOMEONE HAND ME
861
00:18:15,428 --> 00:18:17,096
ALL THE PAPER TOWELS?
862
00:18:19,181 --> 00:18:21,935
YOU HAVEN'T MOVED ON YET
863
00:18:19,181 --> 00:18:21,935
BECAUSE HE'S STILL
864
00:18:21,976 --> 00:18:23,978
IN THERE AND THERE,
865
00:18:24,020 --> 00:18:25,855
EVEN THOUGH
866
00:18:24,020 --> 00:18:25,855
HE'S NOT IN THERE.
867
00:18:25,897 --> 00:18:28,566
I'M NOT OVER HIM.
868
00:18:30,192 --> 00:18:32,319
(knock on door)
869
00:18:32,361 --> 00:18:33,613
OCCUPIED.
870
00:18:33,654 --> 00:18:35,239
(Derek) IT'S YOUR CAPTAIN.
871
00:18:39,702 --> 00:18:40,954
HEY, I'M--I'M DEREK.
872
00:18:40,995 --> 00:18:43,247
UH, NUMBER THREE
873
00:18:40,995 --> 00:18:43,247
IN CHLOE'S ROTATION.
874
00:18:43,289 --> 00:18:45,165
YOU HAVE A PHONE CALL.
875
00:18:49,879 --> 00:18:52,172
HELLO?
876
00:18:49,879 --> 00:18:52,172
SORRY. I'M SORRY.
877
00:18:52,214 --> 00:18:54,675
WHAT THE HELL, CHLOE?!
878
00:18:52,214 --> 00:18:54,675
YOU HAD ME DEPORTED?!
879
00:18:54,717 --> 00:18:56,176
I CAN'T COME BACK TO THE STATES
880
00:18:54,717 --> 00:18:56,176
FOR A YEAR!
881
00:18:56,218 --> 00:18:58,304
FINE! SCREW YOU!
882
00:18:56,218 --> 00:18:58,304
(beep)
883
00:19:00,098 --> 00:19:02,182
(rings, beep)
884
00:19:02,224 --> 00:19:03,851
SORRY. I'M...
885
00:19:03,893 --> 00:19:06,186
THIS IS ME TRYING TO APOLOGIZE.
886
00:19:03,893 --> 00:19:06,186
ALL RIGHT?
887
00:19:06,228 --> 00:19:07,396
I'M SORRY.
888
00:19:07,438 --> 00:19:08,815
WHY'D YOU DO IT?
889
00:19:08,856 --> 00:19:11,191
I... HAD TO.
890
00:19:11,233 --> 00:19:14,070
YOU SAID MELINDA WAS YOUR
891
00:19:11,233 --> 00:19:14,070
NUMBER ONE, AND I GOT JEALOUS.
892
00:19:14,112 --> 00:19:15,613
WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY ANYTHING?
893
00:19:15,655 --> 00:19:19,283
YOU COULD'VE TALKED TO ME ABOUT
894
00:19:15,655 --> 00:19:19,283
IT INSTEAD OF RUINING MY LIFE.
895
00:19:19,325 --> 00:19:21,452
BECAUSE I DON'T WANT
896
00:19:19,325 --> 00:19:21,452
TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT THIS.
897
00:19:21,494 --> 00:19:24,122
I DON'T WANT TO WANT THIS.
898
00:19:24,163 --> 00:19:26,916
I MEAN, MAYBE SOMEDAY DOWN
899
00:19:24,163 --> 00:19:26,916
THE ROAD, WHEN WE'RE OLD...
900
00:19:26,958 --> 00:19:28,208
UNLESS YOU DON'T AGE WELL.
901
00:19:28,250 --> 00:19:30,210
I HAVE A FEELING
902
00:19:28,250 --> 00:19:30,210
YOUR NECK COULD GET GROSS.
903
00:19:30,252 --> 00:19:32,379
YOU KNOW, IT'S OKAY
904
00:19:30,252 --> 00:19:32,379
TO CARE ABOUT SOMEBODY.
905
00:19:32,421 --> 00:19:33,714
I KNOW, AND THAT'S WHY
906
00:19:32,421 --> 00:19:33,714
I'M CALLING YOU.
907
00:19:33,756 --> 00:19:35,257
I'M SORRY THAT I DID THIS
908
00:19:33,756 --> 00:19:35,257
TO YOU.
909
00:19:35,299 --> 00:19:36,509
THANK YOU.
910
00:19:36,550 --> 00:19:38,218
BUT I'M NOT SORRY
911
00:19:36,550 --> 00:19:38,218
I DID THIS FOR ME.
912
00:19:38,260 --> 00:19:40,220
I'M NOT READY FOR ALL THIS.
913
00:19:40,262 --> 00:19:42,222
I GET IT.
914
00:19:42,264 --> 00:19:45,018
MAYBE SOMEDAY.
915
00:19:45,059 --> 00:19:46,435
YOU'RE GONNA HANG UP ON ME NOW,
916
00:19:45,059 --> 00:19:46,435
AREN'T YOU?
917
00:19:46,477 --> 00:19:48,187
YES.
918
00:19:46,477 --> 00:19:48,187
(beep)
919
00:19:50,230 --> 00:19:53,233
(pours martinis)
920
00:19:53,275 --> 00:19:55,111
HEY.
921
00:19:55,153 --> 00:19:57,488
HOW'D IT GO?
922
00:19:55,153 --> 00:19:57,488
GOOD.
923
00:19:57,530 --> 00:19:59,699
WELL, CHEERS TO US.
924
00:19:59,740 --> 00:20:01,241
TO MOVING ON.
925
00:20:01,283 --> 00:20:03,243
I FINALLY GOT OVER
926
00:20:01,283 --> 00:20:03,243
THE ONE WHO GOT AWAY,
927
00:20:03,285 --> 00:20:05,705
AND YOU... GOT AWAY.
928
00:20:05,746 --> 00:20:07,247
(clink)
929
00:20:07,289 --> 00:20:08,332
I TOLD YOU IT'S DUMB
930
00:20:07,289 --> 00:20:08,332
TO GET CAUGHT UP WITH ONE GUY.
931
00:20:08,374 --> 00:20:10,250
IT'S CLAUSTROPHOBIC.
932
00:20:10,292 --> 00:20:11,878
IT'S LIKE LIVING IN
933
00:20:10,292 --> 00:20:11,878
A BIG BEAUTIFUL APARTMENT
934
00:20:11,919 --> 00:20:13,295
AND ONLY HANGING OUT
935
00:20:11,919 --> 00:20:13,295
IN THE BATHROOM.
936
00:20:13,337 --> 00:20:15,965
(Des'ree's "You Gotta Be"
937
00:20:13,337 --> 00:20:15,965
playing)
938
00:20:16,007 --> 00:20:17,257
WHAT'S GOING ON?
939
00:20:17,299 --> 00:20:18,300
BACK IN JUNIOR HIGH,
940
00:20:18,342 --> 00:20:22,180
THIS WAS MY FAVORITE
941
00:20:18,342 --> 00:20:22,180
POST-BREAKUP EMPOWERMENT SONG.
942
00:20:22,221 --> 00:20:24,264
(singing along)
943
00:20:22,221 --> 00:20:24,264
♪ LISTEN AS YOUR DAY UNFOLDS ♪
944
00:20:24,306 --> 00:20:26,976
♪ CHALLENGE WHAT
945
00:20:24,306 --> 00:20:26,976
THE FUTURE HOLDS ♪
946
00:20:27,018 --> 00:20:31,271
♪ TRY AND KEEP YOUR HEAD UP
947
00:20:27,018 --> 00:20:31,271
TO THE SKY ♪
948
00:20:31,313 --> 00:20:33,149
♪ YOU GOTTA BE ♪
949
00:20:33,191 --> 00:20:35,275
(humming)
950
00:20:33,191 --> 00:20:35,275
♪ YOU GOTTA BE BAD,
951
00:20:33,191 --> 00:20:35,275
YOU GOTTA BE BOLD ♪
952
00:20:35,317 --> 00:20:37,277
♪ YOU GOTTA BE-- ♪
953
00:20:35,317 --> 00:20:37,277
(music stops)
954
00:20:37,319 --> 00:20:39,279
(clatter)
955
00:20:37,319 --> 00:20:39,279
BIG MOVE.
956
00:20:39,321 --> 00:20:41,365
YEP. THANKS.
957
00:20:39,321 --> 00:20:41,365
(door slams)
958
00:20:47,205 --> 00:20:48,288
(thud)
959
00:20:48,330 --> 00:20:49,707
(slow motion voice) AAH!
960
00:20:49,749 --> 00:20:50,917
(thuds)
961
00:20:50,958 --> 00:20:52,292
AAH!
962
00:20:50,958 --> 00:20:52,292
(thuds)
963
00:20:52,334 --> 00:20:53,920
AAH!
964
00:20:53,961 --> 00:20:55,295
(woman speaks Japanese)
965
00:20:55,337 --> 00:20:59,258
♪♪♪
966
00:21:01,177 --> 00:21:02,511
(James speaks Japanese)
967
00:21:10,394 --> 00:21:12,271
(James and woman
968
00:21:10,394 --> 00:21:12,271
speak Japanese)
969
00:21:16,358 --> 00:21:18,318
(gong crashes)
970
00:21:16,358 --> 00:21:18,318
(woman speaking Japanese)
57044
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