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Oh, my first lesson!

Remember to smile,
brief non-political
small-talk...

...background information
on the dance.

Ooh, Sans Souci!

Hi, Mrs. Harrison!

Hello, Mrs. Harrison.

Who is it?

It's the Dangerous Stranger!

Pardon me?

Just kidding. It's Michael
Minetti, Mrs. Harrison.

Mr. Minetti,
what company sent you here?

Six Dance Lessons
in Six Weeks!

Of course.

- Of course, come in.
- Hi, Mrs. Harrison!

- Hi, how are you?
- Good.

I... I'm sorry to ask you
so many questions,

but I have to be a little
cautious when my husband
is not home.

I see.

Well, time's up!
That'll be a hundred dollars
for the first lesson.

Just kidding.

Wow! Look at that view!

Have you been here long?

Yes, my husband and I moved

down here from South Carolina,
about six years ago.

We live in Clearwater,
but not at the beach.

You and your wife?

Yeah, yeah.

Boy, these ugly high-rises
may ruin the view
for the rest of us,

but they are
sure great from the inside.

Oh, no offense.

None taken.

I didn't build this place.

Can I get you
something to drink?

Water would be great.

You know, I pushed all of the
furniture back.

I just hope there's room enough.

Absolutely.

Should I pay you now,
for the first lesson?

Yeah. On the mantle,
like a hooker.

I'm not putting out
until I see some cashola.

Sorry, no offense.

None taken... again.

Just gotta get used
to my sense of humor.

Do I?

So, you know, we're starting
with the Swing,

which became popular,
as you may recall,
during World War II.

Uh, forget the cotillion
and point me to the dance hall,

booze, horny GI's
and loose women.

Relax, let your hair down,
and make public reference

to your genitals as you
jiggle on the dance floor.

Do I have to pay to listen
to your two-bit commentaries
on the dances you teach?

Not a cent.

And certainly not two bits.
But if it slips out,

I'll just extend your time
at the end of the lesson.

That's my vitamins.

Mm-hmm.

The dance,
though rather free-form,

does have definite steps
and patterns, thank God,
otherwise who needs me.

That's for sure.

OK.

And I will indicate these
to you using these footprints,

left foot black,
right foot white...

Mr. Minetti, you have not
yet answered my question:

Should I pay you now
or at the end?

- Is it really that important?
- It is to me.

OK, well, if you're not going
to be able to concentrate
until you pay me...

It's not question of my
inability to concentrate.

OK, if you have this deep,
obsessive-compulsive need
to write me a check...

I simply want
to know what's done!

I don't know what's done!

This is my first fucking lesson,
you tight-assed old biddy!

Mrs. Harrison, I am so sorry
about that little outburst.

"No offense," right?

Exactly, exactly, no offense.

I just...
I had bad day.

- A bad week, in fact.
- Yeah, it just got worse.

Grab your footprints
and get out of here.

No, no,
we haven't even begun yet.

We just... we got off on
the wrong foot, so to speak.

I have a feeling that you spend
all day on that foot.

Let's see who gets
to the door first,

you or building security.

All right.

See, Mrs. Harrison,
I haven't had much luck
in the job market lately...

What a surprise. Goodbye now.

Are you planning to tell
my boss about this?

I promise I'll be better!

No. People don't change.

Shoo! You shoo, shoo.

Before I call the police!

Michael,
your lesson's over already?

And my career in ballroom.

Susie, it was a disaster.
She hated me. I don't know why.

I did everything that
the index cards told me to do.

Oh, that's OK.
These things happen.

Really, do you think Cunard
will understand?

Oh, no. He'll fire you for sure.

Susie, I need this job!

I'm not qualified
for anything else,
I'm too old to flip burgers,

I'm up to my ears in bills...
What if she calls him?!

It's the Terminator, shit.

- Oh.
- I'm Lily Harrison.

I'd like to speak
to the manager, please.

- Regarding?
- Regarding him!

This foul-mouthed, dancing
loony you sent to my home!

I'm so sorry. Mr. Cunard is
teaching a class right now,
but I can help you.

- I doubt it.
- Express yourself!

Is that he?

Uh, well, yes, but you can't
interrupt the...

It's all right,
It'll just be moment.

You can't go in there! Ma'am!

I think if you
understood the circumstances

you'd cut me
a little slack here.

You seem like a compassionate
woman, Mrs. Harrison.

I mean, not really,
but in case I'm wrong,

I want you to know
that I need this job.

And yet you've done
everything possible to lose it.

How easy for you.

We have no money,
my wife is very ill.

And, frankly, I'm not sure
she's going to survive.

I'm warning you.

I taught school for 30 years

and I could write the definitive
guide on spotting B.S.

I couldn't lie about this.
My wife is the bread winner
in the house,

and she has not been able
to work for months.

This job is the only
income we have.

- What does she do?
- She's a veterinarian.

- Where?
- At the Seminole Cat, Dog,
Bird, and Snake Hospital.

- Bird and snake?
- Could I make that up?

Susie,
what's going on out here?

Mrs. Harrison stopped by

after her lesson with Michael,
just to see the studio.

And to meet you, sir.

Mr. Cunard, Mrs...
Mrs. Harrison.

I'm charmed.

Is this young man
treating you well?

He is...

...one in a million.

Oh!

Good.
Welcome to our little family.

Now, if you'll excuse me.

Mambo!

Susie?

Who's that?

Oh, that's Michael Minetti,

he's our new in-home
course teacher.

In-home? That sounds like fun.

OK, I've done
my good deed for the year.

Now I never want to see you
again. Is that understood?

Oh... God.

What'll I tell my wife?

Oh, wipe the Mother Teresa
expression off your face.

I know better. Come on in,
let's get this thing started.

My husband will be home soon.

And I'm warning you, this is
just a trial period for you.

I know, and I appreciate it.
You're very understanding.

Oh, don't wear it out.

Swing, you were saying,

was invented by and for
degenerates during World War II,
right?

Precisely! The background
is so important, you know,

for capturing the soul
of the dance.

I mean, that's really what you
communicate when you dance,
the soul.

The steps are just conveyances,
physical dialogue.

- I like that image.
- Good.

Of course,
without the steps,

you're just a stupid cow
bouncing around
on the dance floor.

I like that image less.
But it's an incentive.

Exactly.

Now, starting with the
triple step to your right...

One-two-three,
one-two-three...

Good, Mrs. Harrison!
You were holding out on me!

This is the music of my youth,
Mr. Minetti!

Michael, please.
This puts us on
a first name basis.

No, it doesn't.

OK, Mrs. Harrison.

Now, fall away rock:

Right foot back
in fall away position,

forward on your left foot,
and tap. Again.

Right foot back,
forward on your left foot,
and tap. Very good.

Now, let's put it together.

One-two-three, one-two-three,
fall away, tap. Again.

One-two-three,
one-two-three, back, and tap.

That's it!

Oh... Would you turn
the music down for me, please?

Too bad.
We were just hitting the zone.

- Hello.
- Lily!

It's the woman downstairs.

Ida. You don't
have to shout, honey.

I thought I had died!

I heard a bunch of broads
singing three-part harmony

above me,
like noisy Jewish angels.

So what are you...
channeling the Andrews Sisters?

No, Ida, I'm dancing.

All alone?
Like a crazy woman?

No, I have a partner.

Two of you, no wonder!

Look, I can file a complaint.

Nobody can stop me from
dancing in my own unit, Ida.

Can the hollow threats, and I'll
turn the music down, OK?!

OK!

Say, Lily, don't forget the
group trip to Epcot on the 21st.

No... Epcot!
Yeah, you know,
I nearly forgot that.

And I just love
the food in Morocco!

See you then. Bye-bye.

Well, that ended
surprisingly well.

Well, she's just a lonely
old woman, you know?

Suffering from all the
infirmities of old age.

Except, unfortunately,
hearing loss.

By the end of the conversation
she doesn't even remember
why she called.

She remembered Epcot.

It seems silly, doesn't it?

You see, Mr. Minetti,
we're people trying to make

an interesting day
for ourselves.

And if we can string enough
together we have a week.

And if we get four of those,
we've made it through
another month.

Not silly, really,
it's... survival.

You're not old enough
to consider yourself
one of those people.

Sixty-eight. Card-carrying
member of the "tight-assed
old biddy" society.

You're not going to keep
throwing that in my face,
are you?

Whenever possible.

Besides, you have your husband.

Oh, yes, and he's gonna be
home soon and I'm just
talking my time away.

The meter stops
for conversation.

Thank you.

And, in case you were wondering,

you can pay me
at the end of the lesson.

No gratuities accepted.

None offered...
and none earned.

Yet!

Them's fighting words,
Mrs. Harrison!

- Lily...
- OK, Lily.

You loose GI groupie!
Let's boogie!

Follow...

Oh, Lily, you'll be waking up
in the barracks tomorrow!

What would your wife say
if she heard you say that?

She'd say,
"You better stop provoking me!"

Look what I have for you,
the hardest hundred dollars
I ever earned.

And look what I have
right here for you...

Stats on your next student!

Way to go, Susie!

- Hi.
- Hi.

Hi...

- Irene Mossbecker.
- Michael Minetti.

Susie tells me
you have some experience,

but you're interested in
polishing your technique.

Yeah... I wanna to rub it
till it shines.

Please go on in.

Wow, beautiful room.

Thanks, I decided
something around here
had to look virginal.

Oh, kitty.

Yeah, that's Camellia,
but don't let her fool you,

she only plays hard to get.

Unlike me.

I'm having a highball.
Can I get you one?

Uh, nah...

Nah, one drink
and I forget all my moves.

So we're starting
with the Swing...

I love to swing.

...which became popular
during World War II...

...as you may recall.

Oh, sure, I recall World War II.

There was the Eastern front
and the Western front.

Michael...?

What are you doing
in my neck of the woods?

Me.

Mrs. Minetti?

No! No, Mrs. Harrison,
this is my newest pupil,
Irene Mossbecker.

I was just giving Irene
her first lesson,

and we both needed some things
at the store, so...

So we stopped here to refuel.

Doritos, dip, and coke.

Not gonna get
very far with that.

Honey, those Mallomars aren't
exactly on the Surgeon General's
best-pick list.

My husband has a special
fondness for Mallomars.

So I indulge him
once in a while.

I'm sure he needs it.

I hope your wife is feeling
better, Mr. Minetti.

Good afternoon.

- Directory assistance.
- Hello.

- What listing, please?
- Uh, operator,

the number for the Seminole Cat,
Dog, Bird, and Snake Hospital.

- Checking...
-Thank you.

Sorry, I don't
have that listing.

Oh, I see.

Um... Do you have Seminole
Cat, Dog, and Bird?

Checking.

No, sorry.

- Cat and bird?
- Uh, no.

- Dog and snake?
- Really?

Oh, this is ridiculous.
Thank you, operator.

Damn!

- Who is it?
- Ted Bundy.

I know you can see me
through that thing.

Are you ready to Tango?

Look, I dressed appropriately
for the occasion.

Aww, but Lily... she looks
a little moody today.

Perhaps she needs the seduction
of the dance to open her heart.

It's going to take
a lot more than that.

- What?
- I'm not sure I want to be
associated with a liar.

All right, what is going on?

There is no Seminole Cat,
Dog, Bird, and Snake Hospital!

- You checked?
- Yes, but that's not the point!

You lied to me!

I bet your wife isn't even sick.

You wouldn't want her to be,
would you?

You don't even
have a wife, do you?

Not even a little one.

Didn't we develop a rapport?

Yes, we did develop a rapport,
and yes, I did lie to you.

But not
about needing the job, Lily.

Necessity is no excuse
for opportunism!

Did you tack that homily
on the bulletin board
when you were teaching?

Because I'd like a copy
to send to the bank
instead of my mortgage payment.

Forget it.

If you lose this job,

don't blame it on
anybody but yourself.

Between your... your bad temper
and your dishonesty...

Only my ass can hear you now!

And your foul mouth!
You act like a crazy man!

I'm not crazy, I'm Italian!
This is normal behavior for us.

What's your excuse
for treating people badly?

Menopause.

When you've lived
as long as I have,

- you have so many scars...
- Look, if I were going to
murder you, believe me,

I would've done it
during the first lesson.

Lying is a crime, too, Michael.

You kept asking me questions!
I had to keep making stuff up
to stay consistent.

And then I see you
with that woman.

Uh... She followed
me there after a lesson!

She's just some crazy old lady!

Is that the way you talk
about all your students?

For me, there is no other
student but you.

Come, Guapa, I want to mold you.

Not right now, thanks.

Normal people need
transitions between events.

Tick-tock, Lily.

Do you really wanna look back
on your deathbed and say,

"Damn, I wish I hadn't wasted
so much time on transition?"

Now... ooh.

The Tango is perhaps
the most sensual,

and romantic,
of the Latin dances.

It was created by
the gaucho of Argentina, who,

after a long...
hard day on the pampas,

got his much-needed R&R
by picking up a floozie
in the local taberna...

...getting her sloshed
on cheap wine...

...and then dragging her
around the dance floor

for a few measures before...

...laying her.

The origin of all dancing
is sexual, Lily.

But the Tango...

The Tango, is undiluted...

...musical... foreplay...

Now...

...like sex...

...it's all in the execution.

And slow...
slow, slow, quick, quick.

Slow, slow, slow, quick, quick.

Slow... slow...

- Oh, I'm sorry...
- Yeah, no problem.

Hello...

That music is deafening me!

Is your ear trumpet nailed
to your ceiling?!

I don't appreciate that!

You sound like the dancing
elephants in Fantasia!

I don't appreciate
that comparison!

Say, have you seen the new
version of Fantasiaat the Imax?

- Fantasia?!
- Maybe we'll catch it the next
time we're in Orlando!

I'd love it! Bye-bye!

Multiple personality?

No, it's perspective.

At our age, who knows
how much time we have left?

- Why waste it arguing?
- Never stopped me.

I noticed that.

But you can't understand yet.

You think
I can't understand mortality?

You're still enjoying
the gift of youth, Michael.

And, despite what
my AARP newsletter says,

the world does
belong to the young.

No, it doesn't, Lily.

We're renting it
just like the rest of you.

Tango, Señorita?

Encantada,Señor.

So how was your day
on the pampas?

Well, Señorita, to be honest,

my horse threw me,
I have jock itch...

...and I am very horny.

Well, don't get any ideas,

you haven't even
bought me a drink yet.

Michael, what a surprise!

Sorry to drop in
on you like this.

Oh, no, I'm glad you did.
I'm happy to see you.

- Oh...
- I'd invite you up,

but Harlan always naps
between two and four.

- Wanna go out to the sun deck?
- Yeah.

Yeah, come on,
it's right out here.

- What...?
- Oh, what a beautiful day,
it is. Is it?

Yeah.

Lily, I dropped by today
because I've been troubled
with the fact that

I wasn't totally
honest with you.

Oh, forget it. I understand...

Just hear me out, please.

I wasn't honest
about who I am

because I already
knew who you were.

Who I am?

The wife of
a Southern Baptist minister.

And that makes me...?

Possibly intolerant?

- Intolerant?
- Of gay people.

Unmarried dance instructor?

I'm gay, Lily.

- You're gay?
- Yes.

So, it was all an act?

What?

Yeah, the dancing,
the kidding around...

I was having fun with you!

Exactly!

Like with that woman
at Winn Dixie.

Shop, tease, flirt...

...anything to keep
the old ladies happy.

Keep 'em writing those checks.

- Lily, I...
- In my day, we had a word
for men like you.

- Yeah I know... queers.
- No... gigolos!

It's not like that at all.

Mr. Minetti, I gave you another
chance and it didn't work out.

So I will not tell the
dance studio why I'm cancelling
my lessons,

but I personally cannot accept
your deception any longer.

Are you cancelling because I
lied to you, or because I told
you the truth about being gay?

That has nothing
to do with it!

Though, I can't say
I approve of it.

I don't need your approval.
I just needed a job.

Well, you got it! And you'd do
anything to keep it!

Including lyin'!

I guess you were right,
Mrs. Harrison.

People don't change.

Your loose tongue
has lost me two new clients!

Sir, one was in
a motorized chair
and the other used a walker.

I couldn't,
in good conscience, let them...

You couldn't?!

I don't pay you to have
an opinion or a conscience.

Anyone with a heartbeat
can dance!

Excuse me, sir, but you're
speaking a little loudly.

The other clients are
going to think that
you don't appreciate Susie.

I'll speak at whatever volume
I choose to whomever I choose
in my own studio, Phillip!

Michael, sir. Michael Minetti.

Whatever.
You watch your tongue
and your step around here.

Remember, you both work
for me, not for the client.

All right, ladies,
are you ready to Samba?!

Thanks for sticking up for me,
but I don't want him
firing you, too.

Ah, hell, my days here
are numbered, anyway, I think.

Harrison's canceling
the course after all.

After what you told her
about your poor wife?!

I don't have a wife, Susie.
I'm gay.

Well, of course you are.
But she didn't know that.

Well, now she does.

And, apparently,
it's a deal breaker.

She called here yet?

No. I'll try to
handle it if she does.

And, in the meantime,
you've still got Mossbecker.

Yeah, erasing my karmic debt.

Mrs. Mossbecker,
you're not supposed to
grab my hips in the follow step!

This is the Cha-Cha, not the
Bunny Hop or the Hokie-Pokie!

You could use
a little Pokie yourself.

What's wrong with you?
This is supposed to be fun.

You know, what, you're right.

Let's go.

Cha-cha, cha-cha-cha.

No lesson today?

Oh, Ida.

No, no, I cancelled the course.

Oh, thank God.
Thank God!

Well, it was a silly idea.

Lily, there are no
silly ideas at our age.

Have a little fun.
Just quietly.

You're all dolled up today.

You going someplace special?

Robert, my baby,
is taking me to lunch.

It's Mother's Day, you know.

Oh, no, I didn't.

I pulled the car up, Mom.

Honey, you remember
Lily Harrison?

Yes, of course.

How could I forget second most
beautiful woman in the building?

Thank you. It's nice to
see you again, Robert.

Well, we're off.

Lily, would you like to join us?

You know,
it's just the two of us,

and we could use the company.

Thank you, but I just
have so much to do.

- But, thank you.
- Anytime, really.

- OK.
- Guess it's just me and my gal.

Lily, we'll see you later.

Don't take too much sun.
It ages you.

Too late.

She's so funny.

Have a good time.

- Bye.
- Bye.

Mommy. Mommy.
Mommy, Mommy, wait for me!

Mrs. Harrison...

- What's that?
- This is your check for
the Viennese Waltz lesson.

You didn't have it.

But we scheduled it,

and I was the one that
cancelled it... abruptly.

So, it's only fair.
Please...

Well...

My husband always says,
"Hate the sin,
but not the sinner."

- Yeah, the bigot's anthem.
- That is an insult!

Don't blame me or my husband
because you're... in the pantry!

In the closet! And I'm not.

I'm just careful about
revealing my private life.

This is the South, after all.

I'd rather be in the closet
than in the coffin.

Great choice, then.
Deciding to be a dance
instructor in Florida.

You think I wanted
to end up living in the
last notch of the Bible Belt?

What do you mean?

Nothing. You know,
what, you're right.

I lied to you.
But the real crime is, I lied
about who I was to save my job.

The money doesn't seem
so important now.

Well, I don't want
to be responsible for
your losing your job.

Oh, please, no charity.

Who really wants to take
dance lessons from

a passive-aggressive queen
with a bad attitude?

Maybe a tight-assed,
nosy old biddy.

You mean, you want
to continue the lessons?

Well, we could
give it another try.

I don't know.

Look, Michael,
I don't have all day.

It's just yes or no!

In that case, no!

- Just kidding!
- Oh!

Really, Michael, you don't
do that to an old woman.

Now, see you tomorrow at noon
for the Viennese Waltz.

And, thank you!

Oh...

- Isn't that heavenly?
- Oh...

It's worth buying
just to touch it.

Yes, but...
I really don't need it.

No, but you deserve it.

Would you like to try it on?

No... I'd...
I'd probably just wear it once.

Queen Elizabeth
does that all the time.

So, who you visiting?

Mrs. Harrison.

- Lily Harrison, 14C.
- Bingo.

So... you a relative?

No, I'm her gynecologist.

What?

Michael?

No, it's your
dance instructor, Helmut.

I knew you'd dress up for the
Viennese Waltz!

- I did, too!
- Well, almost...

Oh, sorry to subject you
to an old woman's back,

but would you mind
zipping me up?

Not at all.

And your back is as
pretty as a strudel.

Yeah, pasty and flaky.

You know my husband and I
visited Vienna years ago.

And everyone was so nice.

I'm sure.
They're very hospitable people.

They rolled out the red carpet
for Hitler, too.

That was over half
a century ago. Get over it.

I'd love to, but you
got to keep your guard up.

I mean, these people are
still around, you know,

baiting Jews, blacks, gays,
anybody who's different.

And you're right, they're not
just Austrians or Germans.

They could be anybody.

Anybody you pass on the street.

You hate too easily.

Well, it's inevitable
when you're surrounded
by big fat bigots.

Speaking of which...

...where's your husband today?

Are you insinuating that
my husband is a bigot?

Mmm, let's see,
Southern Baptist minister
from South Carolina.

- You don't know how he feels.
- How could I? He's never here.

But I would guess
that your husband is the guy

who always knows
who has a drop of black blood,

or whose name is Jewish,
or who's screwing who.

- How dare you.
- What?!

Maybe if he were here
he could contradict me,

but he's always conveniently
absent when I arrive.

He doesn't want to interrupt
our dance lessons.

Oh, how thoughtful.
Where does he go?

Well, he walks on the beach,

he meets with his friends,
goes to the mall.

Beach, friends, mall.
Is that your final answer?

Michael!

Maybe we should reschedule
this lesson for tomorrow.

Fat chance.

I got all dressed up
in this ratty tuxedo
to give you this lesson.

Well, I don't want it!

And you put on
your fuck-me dress!

Get out!

No, I have no intention
of driving my ass

all the way back
here to Sun City tomorrow.

Don't you plug that in!

You annoying,
recalcitrant reprobate!

Thanks, I'm not used to
such high-class insults.

A simple "crazy faggot"
would have sufficed.

Now...

...when the Waltz was introduced
it was considered scandalous...

Should I call the dance studio
or the police?!

Why not call
your imaginary husband?

What?

You don't have a husband, Lily!

- He died six years ago!
- Shh...

My neighbors will hear you!

Who do you think told me?

Mr. Crumwald.
That meddlesome old fart.

- Lily, an imaginary husband.
- You had an imaginary wife!

For a few minutes.
You had yours for six years!

At least he
existed at one time.

That's even weirder!

You have no idea what
it's like for a woman alone.

Is this the part where
you try to arouse my sympathy

in order to excuse
your behavior?

I have no excuse.
But I do have a reason.

OK. Roll it out
so I can kick it around.

After Harlan died,

I heard myself saying things
like "My husband and I..."

or "I'll have to
ask my husband."

Later, I admitted to myself

that it was more than refusing
to part with my husband;

I didn't want to give up
the mantle of protection

that having a husband
affords a woman.

You know, people start to
disappear when they get older.

Did you know that?

I knew they shrank a little bit.

Anyway, you start to disappear.

The hostess at Howard Johnson's
just looks right through you,

the store clerks
talk over your head.

But if there's a man
holding onto your hand,

you feel that you might

just hang on
to all three dimensions.

But a woman alone,
without a husband...

...becomes completely invisible.

Oh, God, Lily.

So you can imagine
how vulnerable I felt

having a stranger in my home.

You might try to rip me off,
or even rape me.

- I guess rape was out.
- Yeah...

I was too hard on you,
and I apologize.

I accept it.

And I wanna tell you...

I see you, Lily...
in all three dimensions.

You're right here.

Thank you.

Oh, and one more thing...

Yes...?

You look radiant in that gown.

Why, this old thing?

I just... I just
thought it would be fun.
But, thank you.

You are welcome.

May I have this dance?

Delighted, sir.

The Waltz is in three-four time,
which means three beats
per measure...

Can we just dance now, Michael?
You can tell me later.

Of course...

Oh, not again.

- Hello...
- I said have fun quietly, Lily!

Ratchet down the volume control
on your hearing aid, Ida.

You're not supposed to be able
to hear better than Superman.

Oh, really? Well, I'm going
to complain to the board.

Go ahead!
I'm wearing my fuck-me dress
and I'm going to dance!

I think you've been spending
way too much time with me.

But the nerve of that woman!

You don't really need an
instructor for the Waltz,
do you, Lily?

No...

...but I do need a partner.

Hello.

Yes, speaking.

I understand.

Wednesday will
be fine. Thank you.

Mrs. Harrison...

Mrs. Harrison...

Mrs. Harrison.

- Oh, sorry!
- We're ready for you.

Oh, Michael,
I'm so sorry to disturb you,

but I was in Clearwater
and I started having
a little trouble with my car.

And I wonder,
could check the engine for me?

I think you need
a lesbian for that, but, yeah,

- I'd be happy to check it out.
- Oh.

I was afraid
I wouldn't make it home.

And now I've spoiled your lunch.

And made me late
for an appointment.

- Hey!
- Car seems to be
running fine now.

Oh, that's wonderful.

Well, there's only
one way to make it up.

- Tell me.
- Come with me!

Wait, where are we going?!

Mr. Cunard's homework
assignment for the
Six-Dance-Lessons teachers,

his monthly exhibition dance.

What are all these old...
old women doing with these
young guys?

It's unseemly.

But where are all the older men?

At the mall with Harlan.

Somehow I can't picture it.

What?

You as a minister's wife.

Oh, it wasn't so bad at first.

Harlan was essentially
a good person...

...but even a spouse
wears on you after a while.

That's what happens when you
marry outside your gender.

Sometimes it's
necessity and inertia

that keeps a marriage together,
not love.

What about children?

We had a child, a daughter.

Name was Nan.

But she died when she was 20.

So sorry.

I had no idea.

You didn't think I'd been
hanging around for 68 years

waiting for life
to happen to me, did you?

No, no, it's...

It's just I always accuse
everybody of prejudging me,

and I did the same thing to
you.... and your husband.

Well, you missed me by
a few inches,

but, I must admit,
you nailed Harlan.

You know, one day I realized
that he quoted Scripture

as a substitute
for original thinking.

In his zeal to live according
to the letter of God's law...

...he lost his humanity.

And, you were right,
he didn't like gays.

Still, I must say,

our relationship
has improved since he died.

No...

Relationships do continue
after death, did you know that?

However unilaterally.

Yes, however...

But they have
to evolve for the survivor,

or you go mad,

reliving the
same moments over and over.

Believe me, I know.

Your mother?

No, I was thinking about
a friend of mine
who died years ago.

- I'm sorry.
- Thank you.

Oh, Michael!

Cunard sent me to round up
some fresh meat.

Oh! Sorry, Mrs. Harrison,
didn't mean to be disrespectful.

Oh, don't worry.
Nobody can top Michael.

Glad to see you two
together again.

Hello.
Oh, hey, hi, Susie.

Did she say why?

Lily...

You know, I think they put that
thing on backwards, because
I can see your big fish eye.

Michael... I'm not feeling
so hot today.

Didn't the dance studio
call you?

No. Do you have a man in there?

I'm not properly dressed
to receive guests.

Oh, don't get all
Jane Austin about it.

Just open the door.
I can take it.

Finally!

Oh, God, Lily,
you really aren't dressed
to receive guests.

Was that your husband's robe?

I told you...

- Oh, hell, I'll change.
- Think Foxtrot!

Yeah...

- Good, it worked.
- What worked?!

Oh, I said,
"When I worked on Broadway."

You were on Broadway?

I was a chorus boy.
And I worked constantly.

So what happened?

Isn't it a natural progression
for a Broadway chorus boy

to end up as a dance instructor
in heaven's boot camp?

Well, that's a nice thing
to say to an old woman.

When I was
dancing professionally,

illness was no excuse
for missing a performance.

How many 68-year-old
chorus dancers did you know?

I can't wait 'till I'm old
and I can use my age as
an excuse for everything.

And you will.

Ah, look at you! Dressed for
cocktails at the Stork Club.

It's all smoke and mirrors.
I still don't feel
well enough to...

Yes, you do. You dressed to
Foxtrot, you seductive slut!

Michael!

Oh, I had this
delicious soup at lunch

and got some take-out for you.

Oh, no thanks.

- What kind did you get?
- Cream of potato.

Well, maybe I would have
just a little taste.

We haven't even turned on
the music on yet!

That's not Ida.

- Hello.
- Michael said he could make it
the same time on Friday.

Friday might work.
Could I get back to you, please?

- Oh, sure. OK. Bye-bye.
- Yes!
With passion!

That was Susie.

Oh?

She was calling
to reschedule our lesson.

She told me she'd spoken to you.

Oh, I thought she was
talking about your next lesson.

She told you I was sick,
didn't she?!

That's why you
brought the soup.

Good Lord, Lily, do you have
to examine everything under
your neutron microscope?

I brought you some goddamn soup!

Don't curse at me! I'm touched!

You don't sound touched!

Why rush over to resume
our usual pattern

of lying and arguing?!

Because that's what we do!

Every relationship has
a foundation. That's ours!

Hmm...

That's very nice, Michael.
Thank you.

Shut up.

You have an unusual
bedside manner.

- Mmm. That's delicious!
- Isn't it?

Yes, it is.

Let me put on
some dinner music.

That's Ida.

We're barely moving!

Hello, Ida.

Are the Busch Gardens'
Clydesdales

giving a command performance
in your living room?!

I thought you wanted me
to have some fun!

You're an old woman now,

and all this dancing
and cavorting with strange men

is... well, a little cheap.

I don't know if
I'm going to go to Epcot.

I sure don't want to get
stuck on the bus next to
some nosy old biddy!

You ought to go down there
and kick her ass!

Maybe if we just
lowered the music.

I got a better idea.

It's like my mother's,
and she was a great cook.

So was mine.

Does she still?
I mean, is she, uh...

She died last year.

Oh, I'm so sorry.

Oh, what a kind face.

- Thanks.
- Oh, my good...

She was sick for a few years.

With what? May I ask?

- Sure, Alzheimer's.
- Oh, how terrible. Terrible.

Yeah.

And that is why
I moved back from New York.

Oh. Is this your brother?

No, that's Charlie...
he's an old friend of mine.

You have any siblings
to help you with your mother?

Only child... surprise!

Well, she was
lucky to have you.

I was the lucky one.

She... she kept me centered,
she taught me humanity.

She had this...
calming effect on me.

Guess you can tell she's gone.

And you looked after her
all by yourself?

I couldn't afford nursing care,
and I couldn't put her
in a home.

My God, Michael,
that must have been punishing.

Not really. You just have to
change your priorities.

I knew her time
was slipping away,

and so our time together
became so much more precious.

And... and there were blessings:

she... she always
remembered me, she always
knew my name to the end.

I would walk into the room

and see her looking around

completely confused,
and disoriented,

and I would stand right
in her line of vision

and she would...
She'd smile and say my name.

Michael...

I was her
only point of reference,

her final solid landmark
in a sea of

detached objects
and floating mysteries.

What a good son you were.

Nah.

You gave up your career
in New York to look after
your mother.

Not much of a career anymore.

Hm...

You want to dance?

No, Michael,
I really don't feel well.

What kind of deceptive
disease is this, anyway,

that keeps you looking
all healthy and vibrant?

What leaves me looking healthy
and vibrant is Max Factor.

The disease, I don't know what
it is, it's kind of a...
malaise.

Malaise?

Did you find that
in the Southern Belle
Medical Dictionary

along with "the vapors"?

Oh, go ahead, laugh.
When you're 75...

Mm-hmm.

Oh... damn.

- Wow...
- Damn.

Maybe this is a serious disease
if it causes you to age seven
years in one day!

If you say your real age out
loud, your face hears you.

As if I care.

Of course you don't care!
It's my vanity!

I only got dressed
like this because
you were pissing me off!

Good thing your imaginary
husband didn't hear you
say that.

Now, the Social Foxtrot was
introduced by Vernon Castle

and quickly became
the popular musical excuse

for pressing your groin against
that of someone you admired
without getting arrested.

Really, Michael, you take all
the charm out of it.

Oh, fiddle-y dee,
don't you try
that Miss Mellie routine on me.

I can just see you in the
tobacco shed with your hoop
skirt over your head.

OK...

All right.

Go back on your right.

Five-six-seven-eight.

And slide.

That's it!
You got it!

Who needs the footprints?

Lily... I'm wasting my time
and you are wasting your money!

All right, now we're gonna
promenade, walk and chasse.

A five-six-seven and...

Chasse.

All right, Lily,
level with me now.

You do these dances
as well as I do.

You've taken other classes,
haven't you?

Maybe a few.

But not private lessons,
like this.

Oh, I hated going to that
dance studio

and hanging around
with a bunch of old widows

It took all
the magic out of it.

Why not go to a dance?
Meet some nice men your age?

They're usually married...
or already dead.

Well, why not
go dancing with me?

Oh, you have better things to do
with your evenings than drag
around an old...

Self-deprecating
woman to a dance.

There's one at
the Don CeSar next Thursday.

Let's go there instead of
having our usual lesson.

Well... I don't know.

Why not? Share your talent with
someone besides me... and Ida.

- OK. Yeah.
- OK.

- OK.
- OK.

I will pick you up
at seven sharp. It's a date.

It's a... date.

It's been so long since I've had
one, I can hardly say it.

Crumwald...

- Ticket? Enjoy.
- Thank you.

Can you play a Cha-Cha for us?

Now, here's your lesson,
or mine.

- Oh...
- Yes.

Now, we're gonna start with
a simple step to your right,

and then to your left.

Now, like
Catholic birth control,

the Cha-Cha is all about rhythm.

OK, we're gonna start
the second half,

- the backward
part of the dance.
- OK.

Back on your right foot:
one-two, cha-cha-cha.

Three-two, cha-cha-cha.
Good.

Poised, balanced...

Nureyev's watching me,
so act like

you know what you're doing...
and that you like me.

I do... know what I'm doing.

Well, show it,
and fake the other!

Turn out.

And the other way.

And out.

That's wonderful!
Thank you!

I wanna take more lessons!

Two-timing me again.

Wow.

- Ow!
- Oh, excuse me.

Please observe the
three-foot privacy zone.

- She pinched me!
- Yes, Michael,

everyone wants to touch you.

- Madam.
- Thank you.

Do you every
get the feeling that...

...that you're just
passing through life

watching it go by?

Like a passenger
at a train window.

Never really touching it.

Never really becoming
engaged by it.

- No, but that's my goal.
- You don't mean that.

I've been spending more
and more of my life that way.

You have to
extend yourself, Lily.

- I did, I met you.
- No, you hired me.

Well, if you have to shame me to
preserve your pride, go ahead.

I'm not!
I don't think there's anything
wrong with paying for company.

Believe me,
I have paid for... company.

- Do you mean sex?
- Shhh.

Yes.

If that's what
you want to call it.

You have paid for sex?

Lily, one way or another,
you always pay for sex.

Why?
You're a handsome man.

You could go out
and meet someone nice.

Around here? I'll probably
run into one of those crazy
rednecks from Deliverance.

Oh, Michael, at your age,
you should be looking
seriously for romance.

- That's a '50s word for sex.
- What about love?

Three months of ecstasy
and a lifetime of agony.

How badly could you have
suffered to be so jaded?

Hmm... Should we start in
New York, or just do Florida?

Oh, in New York.

Mm, no, let's no...
let's skip New York.

That's another level
of misery entirely.

Oh, Michael, you don't
have to do any of it...

No, I want to, let's start
with the University
of South Florida student.

Very, very handsome young man
who transported me to a place
I had never been before.

- Really? Oh...
- Yeah. Hell.

Then there was the
married man...

- Married?
- Yep... to a woman.

Wh... to a woman?
What's...

We were like that yogurt,
you know, fruit on the bottom?

What...?

Oh...

Oh! Oh...

Yeah, so obviously
that was doomed.

A relationship
based purely on romance.

Didn't you ever fall in love?

Yes, yes, I did delude myself
into believing I felt
that thing for someone.

A great-looking guy,

even when he was snarling
and yelling obscenities at me.

How did that end?

Well, I finally had to admit
that he would never change,

and I told him so.

Well, at least you had the
satisfaction of telling him off.

Yes, right after he pushed me
out the door of his Mustang.

Oh, Michael, that's terrible!

Eh, don't worry; he was only
doing like five miles an hour
at the time.

Were you injured?

Well... I'd like to say

all he bruised my pride,
but there was some
soft tissue involved, too.

So that was it?
You gave up after that?

Lily, have you
even been listening?!

You want me to tell you that
it's all right to give up,

but it's not, Michael.

Did you happen to detect

a pattern in my collective
social experiences?

- Yes, poor judgement.
- No, rotten people!

You found what you were
looking for, a roll in the hay.

Oh, OK, the bullshit meter is
going wild now! Let's go.

Or you were avoiding
what you're afraid of...

- Hm...
- Intimate contact.

Really? Where's your bevy
of wonderful friends?

Hey, I'm an old woman,
most of them have died off.

Oh, how convenient.

Besides,
I can't even drive at night.

If your night vision's bad,
make some day friends.

- I have friends!
- Oh, please.

You are as reclusive
and anti-social as I am!

It's hard to be alone,
I admit,

but it's harder for me
to be with people.

Lily, I understand.

But I don't feel
that way with you.

Thank you. Neither do I.

Maybe it's you don't
weigh anything you say.

I'm feeling a little less
flattered now.

You spend half your life
with your foot in your mouth.

Made your point!

OK, time to hang up
your glass slippers.

All right.

Dance...

A five-six-seven and...

...sequin lapels,
he made me look butch.

Are you kidding?
He made me look butch!

We're gonna wake the neighbors.

- It's 10:00!
- Yes.

Oh, I forgot, 10:00
is midnight in over-70 time.

Exactly.

Could I interest you
in a cup of decaf?

Mmm... yeah.

Oh, I had such a lovely time
tonight. Thank you for teaching
me those Cha-Cha steps.

You already had the basics.

Mm.

Do you want to practice
the... the underarm turn again?

Oh, I'd love to but...
Ida.

Mm... mm...

No music.
I'll just... I'll count it out.

Oh, OK.

OK. So, it's just
the basic step.

Back on your right.

And back, two, cha-cha-cha.

And forward, two,
cha-cha-cha, and turn...

OK that woman
is a human seismograph!

Oh...
I knew she'd been too quiet.

Hello, Ida...

Oh, I'm sorry, Robert, I...
just a second, will you?

It's Ida's son, Robert!

We're in deep shit now.

Oh...

Robert, how are you?

Listen, Lily...

What?

Oh, my God, Robert.

I don't...
I don't know what to say.

I'm so sorry.

I'll give you a call.

Yes, please let me know.

- Good night.
- Good night.

What is it?

Ida died in her sleep.

Oh, my God.

Two nights ago.

Here I was having this

whole mental argument with her,
and she was already gone.

Oh, it's OK. It's OK.

- I feel so bad.
- It's all right.

Oh, I...
I feel so bad.

I know.

- I'm so sorry.
- I know.

- Sorry for your loss.
- Come here, honey,
let's sit over here.

You OK?

- Come on.
- Hi, Lily.

Robert. I'm so sorry
about your mother.

She was a wonderful woman.

Thank you, Lily.

You know Mom
felt the same way about you.

She did?

Oh, yeah, she always
spoke so fondly of you.

Well, I don't know why.

I was... I just... I rushed her
on the phone a lot,

and... I just...

I was occasionally unpleasant.

I could have been
a much better friend.

I didn't mean it...

Lily!

Lily, I saw your car downstairs.
I know you're home.

All the neighbors are
opening their doors and staring!

Michael, for heaven's sake,
what a racket!

I knew mentioning the neighbors
would do the trick.

Hermits are just social
butterflies without wings.

I can't handle all
this rambunctiousness today.

What's wrong with you?

You look like the senior version
of Lost Weekend.

You're all rumpled.

I got back
from an appointment

and I was very tired so
I laid down and fell asleep, OK?

OK, so wake up!

Michael, you're too loud
and so is your shirt!

Well, I'm rubber
and you're glue.

And the shirt is to help
set the mood, which I'm not
going to let you ruin.

Now, I brought my...

...Beach Boys CD for the
Contemporary Dance!

Beach Boys? I don't know
how you define contemporary,

but the Beach Boys broke up
about 20 years ago.

I saw on Access Hollywood
that one of the boys had
to be in rehab for ages.

All right, all right, all right!
But compared to Johann Strauss,
they're today!

And the tempos are perfect for
several contemporary dances.

Seriously, Michael, I don't have
the energy for any of those
jiggly dances today.

Well, seriously, Lily,
have a cup of coffee
and tighten your bra strap.

I don't have to dance
if I don't want to!

OK, but, you might
as well, because either way,
you're paying for it!

Well, I choose the no-dance way.

Where's my checkbook?!

Oh, there's
the grand gesture again!

Lady Rothschild cracks open
her checkbook and the peasants

shield their eyes
to avoid being blinded.

- What is this, the tenth?
- I'm not telling you.

It's $100 right?

Yeah, $100 for the lesson
and an additional 1,000
for pain and suffering.

Make that ten thousand for mine,
but we'll call it even.

- OK, here.
- You're gonna have to
hand it to me.

I'm not going to go fetch it.

Here...

I won't accept it.

You're gonna have to stuff it in
my G-string like you're tipping
a stripper.

Oh, I can't do that!
Here, just take it, would you!

No, Lily, if you're gonna
end this impersonally,
let's really do it.

Oh, you're impossible man!

Even saying goodbye
is difficult with you!

Is that what this is about?

Well, of course.
It's the last lesson, isn't it?

I told you I would
see you again.

You were just throwing
an old dog a bone.

I went to Ida's funeral
with you, didn't I?!

That's only because
you killed her.

I thought we'd settled that!

OK, we both killed her.

That's better.

Poor old thing.

All I did was argue with her.

Yeah, I can relate to that.

I tormented her.
All she wanted was peace...

"Peace and quiet!"
God, Lily, set it to music.

Heartless!
Nothing is sacred to you.

Come on, Lily.
Ida enjoyed arguing with you.

That's why she called you,
it revved her engine.

Robert did say that she
always spoke fondly of me.

Oh, that was just
funeral feel-good talk.

So why ruin it for me?!

In the interest of reality!

He said the same thing to me,
and I never even met her!

He was trying to be nice.
He's a very nice young man.

I saw him looking at you,
and I think...

I think he might be...

...you know... gay.

And what makes you,
you know... say that?

Well, for a man his age
he's very trim,

and he has a full head of hair.

Good, we found a cure
for obesity and baldness.

We already knew it worked
to prevent pregnancy.

It's not just that.
Ida told me
that he wasn't married

because he could never
find the right girl.

Right. One with a penis.

So you think so, too?

Yeah, I didn't need a secret
handshake to spot that one.

Then why did you
question it when I said it?

Because I wanted to explore
your reasoning, based almost
entirely on a false stereotype.

I don't claim to be an expert.

You're the only
gay man I've ever known.

That's what you think.

Known well. And I hope you're
not a representative sample!

Oh, really? And what
would be your dream sample?

Somebody less exasperating,
perhaps?

Hey, Lily, if you need to insult
me in order to relieve
your separation anxiety...

I wasn't insulting you.

Maybe I should just make it
easy for you and go.

If you want to...

You know what, I thought I could
joke you out of this mood,

but now I'm in it with you,
and I'm tired of dodging
bullets.

Goodbye, Lily.

Oh... goodbye.

It's been a pleasure teaching
you, and getting to know you.

You have may be my first pupil,
but I think you'll always
be my best.

Well, thank you.

Here's this.

Thank you.

And if Six Dance Lessons
can be of any further service,

please don't hesitate
to call on us.

If a dance has a name,
we teach it.

We have many
qualified instructors.

I don't think
I'd want another instructor;

I was very satisfied
with the one I had.

Thank you.

And if Six Dance Lessons
can be of any further service,

please don't hesitate
to call on us.

We have many
qualified instructors.

- Got any straight ones?
- No.

It's been a real blast

chasing you around the couch,
watching you blush,

but I'm looking for
a little more action.

I was a dutiful,
and faithful wife

to a very sick man
for many years.

I want to have a little fun
with the time I have left.

I understand.

Don't you think
that's all right?

Absolutely. Go for it!

Besides, you already
have a pet pupil.

Oh, Mrs. Harrison?
I'm not seeing her any...

Or, I'm not
teaching her anymore.

Too bad. I thought
you kids were gonna make it.

Go now, be free!

Susie stepped away.
I'll take those.

That's Mrs. Mossbecker and
Mrs. Harrison's last checks.

Neither extended?

No, but I was hoping
you had a new client for me.

You have to generate
your own work around here.

We can't just keep
handing it out.

I signed up a new Six Dance
Lessons client today.

- So...
- Give her to Todd.

But, Mr. Cunard,
he already has...

- Keith, then.
- I get it, anyone but me.

- Dancing is
an enterprise, Phillip.
- Michael.

Requiring teamwork,
ingenuity, and cunning.

No! It's an art requiring
empathy, grace, and sensitivity!

- Susie...
- These women are more
than just dollar signs.

They're people
with a few dreams left.
You used to know that.

How dare you speak
to me that way in...!

In front of other people?
Embarrassing, isn't it?

Don't mess with me, Winslow.

I know where all the bodies
are buried around here.

We'll discuss this later.

Come to me, my butterflies.
Come to me.

What was that?

I don't know...!

Oh, shh...

I just... I suddenly
realized what I had to do.

Thank you.

'Cause so did I.

Hey! If you're looking for Lily,
she's having her treatment
today.

- Treatment?
- Yeah... radiation.

For what?!

She had that lymphoma
three years ago
and went into remission.

Then a couple of weeks ago
the doctors told her...

Where is she? Do you know?

Of course I know,
Morton Plant Hospital.

Morton Plant Hospital.

Thank you.

Huh?

Oh, how did you
know I was here?

Crumwald.

I should've known that.

And I made you dance!
Lily, why didn't you tell me?

I wanted you to make me dance.

I didn't want you to see me
as a sick old woman.

That's why you were
pushing me out the door
last week, wasn't it?

I suppose.

After what you went through
with your mother,

I didn't want you to feel
obligated, in any way.

Well, I do, Lily.

That's the litmus test
for friendship,
a sense of obligation.

Well, don't.

Too late.
When you're done you'll come
and rest at my place.

CD's and lemonade on the porch.
We'll make a ritual of it.

That is not what I wanted.

Oh, don't give me that
Southern-girl double talk.
I know you want it.

- Stop it...
- Mrs. Harrison?

Please come with me.

I'll be waiting for you, babe.

- OK.
- OK.

Oh, look at you!

So handsome!

And the whole world,
right at your feet.

That was the last show
I did in New York,

Well, Broadway's loss
is my gain, I guess.

- You wanna see a picture?
- Yeah!

This is my daughter.

Oh...
what a beautiful girl, Lily.

She was, wasn't she?

Yeah.

How did... How did she...?

Oh, actually,
it was an abortion.

An illegal abortion.

Of course, all abortions
were illegal at that time.

Did you know she was pregnant?

Oh, yeah, she told me.
She told me everything.

But I made the mistake
of telling Harlan.

Oh...

He turned to fire, then to ice.

He forbade me to speak to her,

and, like a good Baptist wife,

I deferred to
my husband's wishes.

It wasn't your fault, Lily.

Of course it was.
I was her mother.

It's my duty to protect her.

But, you tried to.

No, I turned from her
in silence,

as my husband
had told me to.

Then you have
to forgive yourself.

No.

Oh, my God.

I go through life as if
I were the only person
with nerve endings,

and you...
you've had so much pain.

We're all walking
past something.

Look at you with your mother,
and your Florida...

Dates from hell.

Not to mention New York.

New York was the best time
of my life.

That's what's so unmentionable
about it, the loss of it.

- Your career?
- Oh, no...

My love, Charlie.

He died in New York.

Oh...

Yeah, and afterwards,

his family treated me...
kind of badly.

They contested his will,
and won.

And I was forced
to move out our home,

And his sister, who wouldn't
even visit Charlie when he was
in the hospital in a coma,

thought she should decide
where his body should be buried.

Oh, what a terrible story.

Hey, you know...
now I can remember Charlie
and I can smile.

Just like I know he's smiling
at all my bad dates.

Maybe he's responsible for them.

Maybe that's his way of telling
me that you only get one good
one.

Oh, that's not true.
That's not true.

You might have to pass
a million faces

before you find another one,
the special one.

But you will.

Thanks, Lily.

Michael...
may I ask you something?

- Sure.
- Are you sick?

You mean mentally?

'Cause I thought we already
established that.

I mean physically.

Do you have AIDS?

Lily, why do you ask me that?

Well, your friend,
Charles, dying like that.

Charlie died
of pancreatic cancer, Lily.

- We do die of other diseases.
- Your anger.

I got the fundamentalists,
the cowardly politicians
and hate groups.

I don't need AIDS
to make me angry.

I'm sorry. I've offended you.

Eh, it was your turn.

Michael... you know,
I was wrong about something.

- About what?
- People do change.

Or maybe they finally
let us see who they really are.

Maybe.

I'm so glad to be back.

Do you want
to go to your bedroom?

No, I want to sit
and watch the sun set with you.

- Thank you.
- There we are.

There we go.

How about some lemonade?

Oh, maybe later.

You... relax. You don't
have to make fuss over me.

So the doctor was
encouraging today.

Oh, yes, well, people always
give you something you want,

in my case, hope,

to sell you something
that you don't want.

In my case,
systematic medical torture.

Lily, the treatments
have been very effective.

- You have to stay... positive.
- Positive.

- Positive.
- Yes.

Oh, look at the sky.

The last part of a sunset's
the best, don't you think?

Just when you think it's over,

the sun throws its brightest
colors all across the sky.

Sunsets have been
so vibrant lately.

I think it's the time of year.

Or it's my time of life.

Everything becomes more precious
when you're running out of it.

You want me to get that?

Yes, please.

I think it's for you, anyway.

For me?

Hello.

- Oh, hi.
- Oh, hi, Robert.

I was just calling
to see how Lily's doing.

Oh, she's fine...

She's strong as
an old plow horse.

A simple horse
would have sufficed.

Oh, ask him if he'd like to come
up for lemonade and sunset.

Lily wants to know if you would
like to come up for lemonade
and sunset.

I'd love to.

Great.
All right, we'll see you then.

- OK.
- Bye.

He'll be up in a few minutes.

Oh, good.

You need to stop.

You're in overdrive with
this match-making thing.

I haven't done a thing!

Yes, you have.

You're always dropping hints
and invitations.

I'm just sorry that

you don't trust
your own powers of attraction.

Robert likes you very much
and you like him. Admit it.

He's very nice,
but I don't think...

No "buts" after "very nice."

Robert won't be pushing you
out of any moving vehicles.

And we all know
that's the primary criterion
for my dream date.

- Michael...
- What?

Robert could be the one.

Oh, come on...

Allow for the possibility.

He could be that
millionth face you pass.

The special one.

I think that was you, Lily.

Thank you, Michael.

How about a little dance
with me at sunset?

- Oh, I just can't.
- Yes, you can.

Just a... yeah.
Just a... Just a slow one.

Come on. I gotcha.

Careful...

And...