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{\an8}*Q I*
Season 20 Episode 06
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{\an8}Episode Title: " Tricks & Treats"
Aired on: December 16, 2022.
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Hello and welcome to QI.
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Tonight we are up to our usual
tricks and will be treating you
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to a show all about
tricks and treats.
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And joining me are four
absolute sweeties.
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A proper Smartie -
it's Ria Lina.
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Getting their Snickers in a twist,
it's Eshaan Akbar.
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Giving us all a Boost,
it's Jimmy Carr.
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And always coming up
smelling of Roses,
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it's Alan Davies.
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And their buzzers
are four tasty treats.
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Ria goes...
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♪ Sweets for my sweet,
sugar for my honey... ♪
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Eshaan goes...
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♪ Just a spoonful of sugar
helps the medicine go down... ♪
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Not if you're diabetic.
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Which I am.
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Oh, are you?
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I'm pre-diabetic.
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Is there a post-diabetic?
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Jimmy goes...
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♪ Yummy, yummy, yummy,
I got love in my tummy
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♪ And I feel like I'm loving you. ♪
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And Alan goes...
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♪ Sweet Caroline
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♪ Ba ba ba
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♪ Good times never seemed so good
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♪ So good, so good. ♪
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Let's just do karaoke.
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All right. So I suppose the first
question today has to be,
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trick or treat?
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Jimmy? A treat, please.
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You want a treat?
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Treat. Treat.
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Trick. Trick.
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Trick. Trick.
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OK, you two can have the chocolate
cake that's just beside you.
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Oh, what?
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This is going very well.
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Has this show got dumbed down a bit?
Because I remember the questions
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being a lot more difficult
the last time I was on.
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Do you guys want
a bit of cake, though?
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Oh, is there? Fine?
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But what I would have liked
to have given you
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is German chocolate cake.
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Oh, no. Do you not like German...
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I don't like German chocolate cake.
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OK, why don't you like it?
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Well, hang on. Let's be clear.
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Do we mean chocolate cake
from Germany
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or German chocolate cake?
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See, already you are going
to probably get an extra point
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because my question is,
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where does German
chocolate cake come from?
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Greggs.
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I know the answer to this.
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Well, there's a cake in America
called German chocolate cake.
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And it's from a man called German,
not from Germany.
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Exactly right.
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You get an extra point,
that is entirely correct.
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I don't know if you've seen
the show before.
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We could be out of here
in 20 minutes.
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This is going to be terrific.
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You were supposed to say
Black Forest.
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So there was a guy called
Samuel German, and he developed
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a product in 1852 of baking
chocolate that was already
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a little bit sweeter.
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So you had to put one less
ingredient in your cake.
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And this was developed into a thing
called German chocolate cake,
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and it became hugely successful.
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The thing about Samuel German
is that he was an English American,
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so English, but German, I mean,
a bit like the royal family.
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Funny name to have, isn't it?
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The Germans are coming round.
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Oh!
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German chocolate cake sounds
like the kind of thing you would not
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put into Google at work.
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That could be something
really dreadful.
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We couldn't have a German chocolate
cake on the show in case one person
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in the audience had a nut allergy.
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I always thought a nut allergy
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was a very good euphemism
for lesbian.
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What's Sandi like?
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You know, she's got a nut allergy.
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Can I just say as a hetero woman,
you don't have to be a lesbian
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to have a nut allergy.
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I feel we're dividing into
niche tribes straight away.
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Germans are coming around -
that's a euphemism for something.
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But here is something
very, very British.
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Anybody know what this is?
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{\an8}Is it a dragonfly with an erection?
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Wow...
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You know, I hadn't seen that, and
now that's all I can see. Right?!
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Actually... That's it.
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Festival Hall. Festival Hall.
Festival of Britain.
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So it was the Festival of Britain
and it was called the Skylon.
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It was the centrepiece of
the Festival of Britain.
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It was 90 metres high... Whoa. Wow.
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...and it was kept erect
through tension.
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I'm sure everybody's been there. Oh.
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It was the largest object in
the world supported by wires,
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and what's really a shame is that
they didn't keep it because it was
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a remarkable construction, but
it was pulled down a year later.
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They were going to take it to
Scarborough, More cam be,
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even the United States,
but it was too expensive.
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They sold it to a scrap metal
dealer in White City,
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probably right near
where we are now.
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Wood Lane, White City -
George Cohen and Sons.
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Were people meant to climb up this
thing? What was the point of it?
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What was the point?
It's right at the end, mate.
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It's quite a hazard to skydivers
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because I imagine
you can't see it at all...
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Coming down, "Look at that view of
the Thames..."
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MIMES RIPPING FABRIC
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There was a student who wanted
to climb up it and hang a pair
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of knickers... Of course. ..at the
top, at the official opening.
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He's called Philip Gordon.
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He was a student at the
University of London's Air Squadron.
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He shimmied up at midnight, dressed
as a workman, and his plan was
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to jump into the river to escape.
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I'm just going to say "90 metres"
again to everybody... Wow.
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Anyway, bless his heart, he slightly
bottled it and hung a scarf
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instead of a pair of knickers,
because the King was coming.
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But he did get up there.
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No, he got there... He got up there.
..he couldn't bear to do pants.
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Or they were dirty
because he bottled it.
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Yeah. He got to the top and soiled
himself, that's what we've learned.
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But hang on - the plan to get down
was initially to jump,
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and then he thought,
"Do you know what?" Yeah...
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"I'm just going to shimmy."
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That's a good name for you -
Shimmy Carr. I like that.
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Give us a shimmy. Yeah! Yeah!
There we go.
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Lots of people didn't like it.
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The Sydney Morning Herald
called it "phallic flippancy".
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I don't think if your phallus
looks like that,
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you can afford to be flippant.
No...
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Wonder if they'd be bothered
by reviews, would they?
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I mean, who's looking at that,
going, "Oh, well,
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"it wasn't well reviewed,
I'll look over here"? Yeah.
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Some of it was used for rearmament
in the Korean War,
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and some of it was made into
commemorative letter openers.
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Oh, I feel bad for the guy
that ended up in the Korean War
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with the letter opener. Yeah...!
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It's an example of something
called "tensegrity".
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Tension and integrity.
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It's a word coined by the architect,
Richard Buckmunster...
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Buckmis... Sorry.
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Richard Buckminster Fuller...
Well said.
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I try not to get my Buckminster
and my Fuller confused...
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You nearly said "buttmuncher"
there. And you... Yeah, I know!
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Now, for a question about
TREAT-ments.
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It's time for a round of
What's The Treatment, Sandi?
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OK! What do we think the treatment
is to stop snoring?
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Wake up.
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APPLAUSE
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I just read a book about this! Oh!
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A whole book about snoring?
Yeah, well, it's called Breathe.
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It's quite a good book,
and it's about how we developed,
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and basically, the whole book says,
you've got to breathe
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through your nose, so put a bit
of tape over your mouth,
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stop your snoring. Oh...
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Why did you read a whole book
about breathing...?
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Well, I thought... "You know what?
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"Some people stop breathing
and then..." Yeah.
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So you go... I want to get...
This is the basics. Yeah.
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You want to nail this stuff. Good.
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I've been breathing the whole show.
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It is to do with breathing.
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Divorce is not the answer.
Divorce is one way of doing it.
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But you might want to stop your own
snoring and train yourself not to.
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ALAN:Oh, I do...
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Well, I snore a little bit
and my girlfriend's got...
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She's got noise-cancelling fists.
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But you're in the right area, Jimmy,
because what we really need to do
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is train the muscles of the
upper airways to do what's called
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circular breathing. OK.
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So you need to inhale through
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the nose whilst blowing through...
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Is that right?
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It's that breathing in through
the nose, out through the mouth,
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in through the nose
and out through the mouth
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00:09:21,583 --> 00:09:23,579
in a continuous circular movement.
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The best way is to
take up an instrument.
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Which instrument might it be?
I think trombone, isn't it?
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Nope. Anybody, any thoughts?
Bagpipes. Xylophone.
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Flute. Xyl...?!
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Didgeridoo! Harmonica! Didgeridoo!
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Oh... It's the didgeridoo. Well
done, Alan. Got to get a big...
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Yes.
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APPLAUSE
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And there I am with my didgeridoo!
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So, 2006, a group of scientists
in Zurich decided,
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00:09:53,263 --> 00:09:57,779
"Let's stop snoring by trying to get
people to play the didgeridoo."
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00:09:57,863 --> 00:10:01,339
So what they did was they got a
group of snorers and they made them
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00:10:01,423 --> 00:10:04,179
practise the didge, made them
practise every day for four months,
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00:10:04,263 --> 00:10:06,299
and then they had a
control group who were told
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00:10:06,383 --> 00:10:08,299
they were on the waiting list
for lessons, OK?
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00:10:08,383 --> 00:10:10,859
And they were told to do anything
except play the didgeridoo.
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00:10:10,943 --> 00:10:13,979
And those who played the
didgeridoo, that does seem to work
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00:10:14,063 --> 00:10:16,619
to help your snoring because it
creates this circular breathing.
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00:10:16,703 --> 00:10:17,739
Wow. Mm-hm!
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00:10:17,823 --> 00:10:19,419
Anyway, moving on,
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00:10:19,503 --> 00:10:23,103
what is this fly
doing in this painting?
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00:10:24,183 --> 00:10:27,139
Oh, the one by the plate?
There's also one on her head.
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00:10:27,223 --> 00:10:30,579
Oh, yes. Talking to the one by
the plate? Yeah.
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00:10:30,663 --> 00:10:32,379
"Come up here." "The food's HERE -
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00:10:32,463 --> 00:10:33,819
"the food's down here!"
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00:10:33,903 --> 00:10:36,023
"You can see for miles up here!"
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00:10:37,743 --> 00:10:38,939
"They'll swat you!"
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00:10:39,023 --> 00:10:41,623
"They won't... She won't swat
herself in the head, will she?"
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00:10:44,903 --> 00:10:48,179
It's called musca depicta -
so "musca", Latin for "fly",
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00:10:48,263 --> 00:10:51,019
and it was to show
how skilful the artist is.
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00:10:51,103 --> 00:10:54,539
It's a way of saying, "I can
paint a fly that is so realistic,
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00:10:54,623 --> 00:10:56,459
"an observer might just
want to kind of..."
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00:10:56,543 --> 00:10:59,859
Well, clearly not, because that's
the world's biggest fly.
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00:10:59,943 --> 00:11:03,259
So when you see the painting,
you think, "There's a fly on it."
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00:11:03,343 --> 00:11:05,983
Yeah... Exactly."Oh!"
"Oh, oh!""God...!"
219
00:11:08,863 --> 00:11:10,263
"It's painted on?!"
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00:11:11,823 --> 00:11:14,339
At the time it was painted, that was
thought to be quite a thing,
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00:11:14,423 --> 00:11:17,099
so it was a fairly new idea,
the concept of "trompe-I'oeil",
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00:11:17,183 --> 00:11:18,659
or "trick of the eye".
223
00:11:18,743 --> 00:11:20,979
That people go in trying
to eat the beans.
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00:11:21,063 --> 00:11:22,219
That - exactly that.
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00:11:22,303 --> 00:11:24,223
"It's a painting! Oh, my God!"
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00:11:25,463 --> 00:11:28,699
The very supposed first-ever use of
the trompe-I'oeil
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00:11:28,783 --> 00:11:31,739
was a painting competition in
ancient Greece between the artists
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00:11:31,823 --> 00:11:34,179
Zeuxis and Parrhasius.
229
00:11:34,263 --> 00:11:36,339
And Zeuxis painted
some realistic grapes
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00:11:36,423 --> 00:11:39,019
that, apparently, the birds
flew down and tried to take.
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00:11:39,103 --> 00:11:42,299
And so, Parrhasius then painted
a curtain that was so realistic
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00:11:42,383 --> 00:11:45,539
that Zeuxis himself was fooled
and tried to push it to one side.
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00:11:45,623 --> 00:11:47,779
Do you think ALL of these stories
from ancient Greece
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00:11:47,863 --> 00:11:49,183
are just nonsense?
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00:11:50,543 --> 00:11:52,303
Yes, let's not do that any more...
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00:11:58,903 --> 00:12:00,183
I can't believe...
237
00:12:02,023 --> 00:12:03,819
This is so exciting to me.
238
00:12:03,903 --> 00:12:06,059
"Yes, rip it up! Rip it up!" Yes!
239
00:12:06,143 --> 00:12:07,659
"It's nonsense..."
It's all nonsense.
240
00:12:07,743 --> 00:12:10,939
"..The bird flew down to the
grapes... It did not! It's 2D!
241
00:12:11,023 --> 00:12:14,223
"The bird could've identified that,
it's not seeing grapes..."
242
00:12:15,703 --> 00:12:18,339
"The curtains! They're
real curtains. Bullshit!
243
00:12:18,423 --> 00:12:20,059
"The curtains are painted!"
244
00:12:20,143 --> 00:12:23,259
And the Greeks they just spread it
about, you know, "That happened,"
245
00:12:23,343 --> 00:12:26,059
and we... Thousands of years, we're
still going, "Amazing, you know,
246
00:12:26,143 --> 00:12:27,739
"in ancient Greece..."
247
00:12:27,823 --> 00:12:30,459
The single... How've they
convinced us of this utter non...?!
248
00:12:30,543 --> 00:12:31,979
I don't know!
249
00:12:32,063 --> 00:12:35,743
A single torn card, I've got rid of
the whole of Greek mythology.
250
00:12:37,823 --> 00:12:39,779
Get out. Move that, Alan.
251
00:12:39,863 --> 00:12:42,099
So that... That is amazing.
252
00:12:42,183 --> 00:12:44,139
That was painted in 1658.
253
00:12:44,223 --> 00:12:46,943
That actually does look like a
curtain. Isn't that incredible?
254
00:12:47,983 --> 00:12:49,739
In fairness, that is good though,
ain't it?
255
00:12:49,823 --> 00:12:52,223
I mean, if the Greeks saw that,
they'd shit themselves.
256
00:12:53,463 --> 00:12:55,619
Oh, you don't... You missed it,
though. You missed it,
257
00:12:55,703 --> 00:12:57,103
because a bird just flew in, Alan.
258
00:12:58,463 --> 00:13:01,099
The flowers are terrible,
the curtain's unbelievable.
259
00:13:01,183 --> 00:13:03,539
Deliberately so,
obviously deliberately so.
260
00:13:03,623 --> 00:13:05,579
It makes the curtain look
more like a curtain
261
00:13:05,663 --> 00:13:07,303
if the flowers are shit. Can I...?
262
00:13:08,503 --> 00:13:11,023
Sorry, just two seconds,
can I have some sellotape?
263
00:13:12,943 --> 00:13:14,299
Have you...?
264
00:13:14,383 --> 00:13:16,739
So, this was painted by a man,
wasn't it?
265
00:13:16,823 --> 00:13:20,059
This was painted by
Adriaen van der Spelt in 1650.
266
00:13:20,143 --> 00:13:22,263
Cos... Why is it?
Why? Because it's not ironed.
267
00:13:24,823 --> 00:13:26,099
No, that's a fair point.
268
00:13:26,183 --> 00:13:28,179
I don't know a lot about him,
Adriaen van der Spelt,
269
00:13:28,263 --> 00:13:30,139
I just know that he had
a nasty third wife
270
00:13:30,223 --> 00:13:32,659
who drove him to his grave.
That's literally all I've got.
271
00:13:32,743 --> 00:13:34,663
What, literally gave him a lift?
Yeah.
272
00:13:35,943 --> 00:13:39,699
"Don't worry, you'll be there in a
minute.""Where are we going? Agh!"
273
00:13:39,783 --> 00:13:41,859
Cos all she wanted him to do
was iron the curtains
274
00:13:41,943 --> 00:13:43,383
and he kept painting them!
275
00:13:45,023 --> 00:13:46,219
Anyway, moving on...
276
00:13:46,303 --> 00:13:50,459
What trickery was this boat
involved in?
277
00:13:50,543 --> 00:13:52,819
Is it a boat meant to be... look
like something else?
278
00:13:52,903 --> 00:13:54,979
You are absolutely heading
in the right direction.
279
00:13:55,063 --> 00:13:57,579
So this is a
case mate ironclad boat.
280
00:13:57,663 --> 00:13:59,619
And this is something
that fought in the Civil War...
281
00:13:59,703 --> 00:14:01,259
Civil War. American Civil War!
282
00:14:01,343 --> 00:14:03,899
American Civil War!1860s. 1862.
This particular picture.
283
00:14:03,983 --> 00:14:06,419
You get an extra point, Alan.
This is rather frightening...
284
00:14:06,503 --> 00:14:08,623
HE GASPS,
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
285
00:14:10,463 --> 00:14:13,583
Little bit of good news for you -
I read a book about the Civil War.
286
00:14:14,743 --> 00:14:15,939
What did you learn?
287
00:14:16,023 --> 00:14:18,579
The fact that I learned I found
interesting was that the youngest
288
00:14:18,663 --> 00:14:22,379
you could be, legally, to be a
soldier in the Civil War was nine.
289
00:14:22,463 --> 00:14:25,139
Wow. Because eight-year-old
soldiers, that's crazy.
290
00:14:25,223 --> 00:14:26,419
Ridiculous.
291
00:14:26,503 --> 00:14:29,059
The other thing I learnt about,
that I thought was interesting,
292
00:14:29,143 --> 00:14:31,099
was the biggest killer
in the American Civil War?
293
00:14:31,183 --> 00:14:32,899
Diarrhoea. Yeah.
AUDIENCE GROANS
294
00:14:32,983 --> 00:14:34,383
Imagine being shot with that!
295
00:14:36,903 --> 00:14:38,019
But that is true.
296
00:14:38,103 --> 00:14:40,619
That is true, darling, in
most of the old conflicts.
297
00:14:40,703 --> 00:14:43,059
So the Boer War - typhoid.
It's those things... It's...
298
00:14:43,143 --> 00:14:45,459
It's your illnesses,
your stomach-related illnesses
299
00:14:45,543 --> 00:14:48,183
that that kills more, quite often
than... Oh, I know...
300
00:14:49,463 --> 00:14:51,063
Same with panel shows.
301
00:14:52,303 --> 00:14:55,259
Apparently, there was... a code of
honour in the American Civil War
302
00:14:55,343 --> 00:14:57,099
where you couldn't shoot anyone
303
00:14:57,183 --> 00:14:59,099
if they were shitting.
304
00:14:59,183 --> 00:15:01,019
Which I think is quite a nice thing,
which is...
305
00:15:01,103 --> 00:15:03,579
I would've spent the whole of
the Civil War going, "Hang on!"
306
00:15:03,663 --> 00:15:05,419
Have you got that
the right way round?
307
00:15:05,503 --> 00:15:07,019
"You can't shit if you're shootin',
308
00:15:07,103 --> 00:15:09,983
"you can't shoot if you're
shittin'... It's one of those!"
309
00:15:11,463 --> 00:15:12,899
APPLAUSE
310
00:15:12,983 --> 00:15:14,979
So a lot of the battles
that took place
311
00:15:15,063 --> 00:15:18,139
between the Confederates in the
South and the Unionists in the North
312
00:15:18,223 --> 00:15:20,379
took place on the Mississippi River.
313
00:15:20,463 --> 00:15:24,179
And these boats, these casement
ironclads, were brand-new,
314
00:15:24,263 --> 00:15:25,939
they were like
a sort of moving fort.
315
00:15:26,023 --> 00:15:28,139
And this boat belonged
to the Unionists,
316
00:15:28,223 --> 00:15:30,619
but they had to, for various
reasons, they had to abandon it,
317
00:15:30,703 --> 00:15:33,059
and the Confederates
tried to salvage it.
318
00:15:33,143 --> 00:15:36,779
So in order to stop them
salvaging it, the Unionists built
319
00:15:36,863 --> 00:15:39,139
a completely fake boat.
320
00:15:39,223 --> 00:15:42,779
It was made out of timber
and tar and... and a toilet!
321
00:15:42,863 --> 00:15:44,299
It was called the Black Terror.
322
00:15:44,383 --> 00:15:47,819
It flew both the American flag
and the skull and crossbones.
323
00:15:47,903 --> 00:15:50,859
It cost $8.63 to construct.
324
00:15:50,943 --> 00:15:53,619
It's about $208 today...$8?!
325
00:15:53,703 --> 00:15:55,379
$8 to construct!
326
00:15:55,463 --> 00:15:57,619
And they even lit
a sort of tar fire,
327
00:15:57,703 --> 00:16:00,659
so it looked like engine smoke,
and the Confederate salvagers,
328
00:16:00,743 --> 00:16:03,459
they destroyed the original gunboat,
the India no la,
329
00:16:03,543 --> 00:16:06,659
because they thought that
the Unionists were coming to get it.
330
00:16:06,743 --> 00:16:10,579
And it made the Unionists
cry and cry with laughter.
331
00:16:10,663 --> 00:16:13,059
So they managed to use
an entirely fake boat
332
00:16:13,143 --> 00:16:15,659
to get the others to
destroy a very valuable one.
333
00:16:15,743 --> 00:16:18,583
There was a little bit of levity
in the middle of all that slaughter.
334
00:16:20,823 --> 00:16:23,739
There's another
excellent wartime dummy trick.
335
00:16:23,823 --> 00:16:26,139
So in World War I,
a horse was killed
336
00:16:26,223 --> 00:16:28,019
in what was called No Man's Land.
337
00:16:28,103 --> 00:16:31,259
And somebody thought, "Ooh, I
know, we'll turn it into a lookout."
338
00:16:31,343 --> 00:16:36,019
And under cover of night, French
soldiers made a papier mache version
339
00:16:36,103 --> 00:16:39,059
of the horse, and a soldier
then went in it
340
00:16:39,143 --> 00:16:40,499
and, apparently,
341
00:16:40,583 --> 00:16:42,939
used his anus as a gun port,
342
00:16:43,023 --> 00:16:44,739
which I think, you know...
343
00:16:44,823 --> 00:16:47,819
That's something I'm definitely
going to Google later on.
344
00:16:47,903 --> 00:16:49,699
This is a gun port.
345
00:16:49,783 --> 00:16:51,259
The horse... It's the horse's anus.
346
00:16:51,343 --> 00:16:52,903
Yes, the horse... Yes. Thank God.
347
00:16:57,423 --> 00:16:59,859
Don't always understand everything
first time.
348
00:16:59,943 --> 00:17:01,103
But then it rains and...
349
00:17:03,263 --> 00:17:05,259
Is there...? Is this going to be
a follow-up story
350
00:17:05,343 --> 00:17:08,019
about the... greatest hero of that
war was, of course,
351
00:17:08,103 --> 00:17:09,739
a pantomime horse?
352
00:17:09,823 --> 00:17:12,819
Well, they used papier-mache heads.
I think you've got some.
353
00:17:12,903 --> 00:17:16,419
They used to use papier-mache heads
on sticks to put up over the trench.
354
00:17:16,503 --> 00:17:19,179
Oh, hang on, look... Oh, no,
I have got one, yeah. Look at this.
355
00:17:19,263 --> 00:17:20,739
RIA:Oh!
ESHAAN:Oh, gosh.
356
00:17:20,823 --> 00:17:22,539
There wasn't much diversity then,
was there?
357
00:17:22,623 --> 00:17:25,823
{\an8}No, no, it's not wild on diversity.
They all...
358
00:17:28,303 --> 00:17:29,383
Ours have found love.
359
00:17:46,823 --> 00:17:50,303
ALAN SINGS:♪ Yummy, yummy, yummy
I got love in my tummy... ♪
360
00:17:54,423 --> 00:17:56,703
I'm always hungry after a blow job.
Yeah...!
361
00:17:58,303 --> 00:17:59,343
How dare you!
362
00:18:03,183 --> 00:18:04,499
Right.
363
00:18:04,583 --> 00:18:07,663
It's time for another game of
What's The Treatment, Sandi?
364
00:18:11,383 --> 00:18:14,063
OK. How do you stop
your toe from dropping off?
365
00:18:16,023 --> 00:18:18,623
Oh. Stop cutting your toenails
with a Black & Decker?
366
00:18:19,703 --> 00:18:22,259
That's quite a good answer. Put them
in the freezer or something?
367
00:18:22,343 --> 00:18:24,699
How would that work? Well...
368
00:18:24,783 --> 00:18:26,539
IN HIGH PITCH:All right, let me
explain...!
369
00:18:26,623 --> 00:18:27,983
MOCKING HIGH PITCH:WHAT?!
370
00:18:29,303 --> 00:18:31,339
Now he's got to think of some logic.
Yeah, I have...!
371
00:18:31,423 --> 00:18:33,019
So! You put your f...
372
00:18:33,103 --> 00:18:35,379
..your toes in the freezer
and as it defrosts,
373
00:18:35,463 --> 00:18:37,743
just before it completely defrosts,
put it back in again.
374
00:18:38,863 --> 00:18:41,183
Well, why don't you just put
a sock on? Just wear a sock!
375
00:18:42,703 --> 00:18:44,379
Socks can get cold.
376
00:18:44,463 --> 00:18:46,063
What?! What?!
377
00:18:47,143 --> 00:18:49,103
What did you...?
What did you think Sandi asked?
378
00:18:50,543 --> 00:18:54,459
There is a condition called
dactylolysis spontanea,
379
00:18:54,543 --> 00:18:56,619
or ainhum,
which is much easier to say,
380
00:18:56,703 --> 00:18:59,419
and it's a very rare condition where
the little toe,
381
00:18:59,503 --> 00:19:03,219
normally on both feet,
atrophies and then falls off.
382
00:19:03,303 --> 00:19:04,299
JIMMY GASPS
383
00:19:04,383 --> 00:19:06,103
Well, it actually goes to market.
384
00:19:07,663 --> 00:19:09,223
APPLAUSE
385
00:19:15,343 --> 00:19:17,779
The constrictive ring of tissue
forms at the base of the toe,
386
00:19:17,863 --> 00:19:20,099
and that just restricts oxygen.
387
00:19:20,183 --> 00:19:22,379
It can be caused by injury
or infection, sometimes happens
388
00:19:22,463 --> 00:19:24,019
with no clear reason at all,
389
00:19:24,103 --> 00:19:27,459
primarily found in males
of African descent.
390
00:19:27,543 --> 00:19:32,379
Probably the best thing to do is to
cut it off pre-emptively, amputate.
391
00:19:32,463 --> 00:19:34,779
Or just put it in a freezer.
Freezer! What then?
392
00:19:34,863 --> 00:19:35,979
So hang on, hang on.
393
00:19:36,063 --> 00:19:38,139
That is a worse answer than your
answer, I think.
394
00:19:38,223 --> 00:19:41,459
The best way to stop your toes
from falling off is to cut them off
395
00:19:41,543 --> 00:19:45,539
before they get a chance.
"Don't give 'em the satisfaction!"
396
00:19:45,623 --> 00:19:46,939
Don't give them the satisfaction.
397
00:19:47,023 --> 00:19:48,779
You cut off your toes first.
Apparently...
398
00:19:48,863 --> 00:19:51,299
If you're watching at home,
get rid of them all!
399
00:19:51,383 --> 00:19:54,259
Apparently, with this particular
condition, it is less painful
400
00:19:54,343 --> 00:19:56,299
to amputate it and
you are less likely
401
00:19:56,383 --> 00:19:58,139
to have the wound become infected,
402
00:19:58,223 --> 00:20:01,979
so it is better, in this instance,
to cut it off yourself.
403
00:20:02,063 --> 00:20:04,663
Well, I'm looking at the picture,
I think he looks fine. Yeah.
404
00:20:05,823 --> 00:20:08,819
Right. I have treated myself to
a new pair...
405
00:20:08,903 --> 00:20:10,659
...of glasses, OK?
406
00:20:10,743 --> 00:20:13,379
So a little bit like Clark Kent,
I'm going to put them on.
407
00:20:13,463 --> 00:20:15,739
OK. Here is the trick.
As soon as I put them on,
408
00:20:15,823 --> 00:20:18,219
who do you think I look like now?
409
00:20:18,303 --> 00:20:19,659
AUDIENCE MEMBER:Prue Leith.
410
00:20:19,743 --> 00:20:21,143
Prue Leith is a right answer.
411
00:20:22,583 --> 00:20:23,939
It's somebody badass.
412
00:20:24,023 --> 00:20:26,379
It's a person who has killed
more baddies on screen
413
00:20:26,463 --> 00:20:29,019
than any other actor.
Oh... I'm going...
414
00:20:29,103 --> 00:20:30,619
I'm going John Wayne.
415
00:20:30,703 --> 00:20:33,099
It's Milla Jovovich! Oh...
416
00:20:33,183 --> 00:20:34,899
Look, do you not think?
RIA:Really?
417
00:20:34,983 --> 00:20:35,899
ESHAAN:Yeah, yeah!
418
00:20:35,983 --> 00:20:37,339
THEY TALK VERY EACH OTHER
419
00:20:37,423 --> 00:20:38,583
Uncanny! Uncanny!
420
00:20:40,103 --> 00:20:41,623
She... What are we doing?
421
00:20:43,303 --> 00:20:45,259
What are we doing?
What's going on here?
422
00:20:45,343 --> 00:20:47,579
What's going on? Yeah, OK.
Do you know who she is? Yes.
423
00:20:47,663 --> 00:20:50,583
She's not even wearing glasses.
You know that, right? No, so...
424
00:20:52,863 --> 00:20:56,579
She's the star of The Fifth Element,
as well as the Resident Evil series,
425
00:20:56,663 --> 00:20:58,659
and she has killed a shed load
of people.
426
00:20:58,743 --> 00:21:02,739
So this is how you fool
facial recognition, OK?
427
00:21:02,823 --> 00:21:06,379
In 2016, the researchers
at Carnegie Mellon University
428
00:21:06,463 --> 00:21:09,819
found that they could trick
facial recognition software into
429
00:21:09,903 --> 00:21:13,299
mistaking their identity by using
a pair of colourful glasses. OK?
430
00:21:13,383 --> 00:21:17,939
And they were able to have
a middle-aged male researcher
431
00:21:18,023 --> 00:21:20,219
be mistaken by the software
432
00:21:20,303 --> 00:21:23,819
as Milla Jovovich, OK? And this is
what the glasses look like...
433
00:21:23,903 --> 00:21:25,703
I think I slept with
the wrong person.
434
00:21:28,623 --> 00:21:31,423
If it makes you feel any better,
Jimmy, so do they.
435
00:21:33,223 --> 00:21:34,663
APPLAUSE
436
00:21:37,623 --> 00:21:40,699
The way facial recognition software
works is it doesn't know
437
00:21:40,783 --> 00:21:43,259
if it's looking for a tiny image
in a great big picture
438
00:21:43,343 --> 00:21:45,779
or it's looking for an image
that's filling the entire picture.
439
00:21:45,863 --> 00:21:49,259
It's looking for little bits of
specifics that then it says,
440
00:21:49,343 --> 00:21:50,539
"Yes, that's that person."
441
00:21:50,623 --> 00:21:52,979
So it looks for a particular
shape of an eyebrow,
442
00:21:53,063 --> 00:21:54,939
it looks for a particular shape
of a cheekbone.
443
00:21:55,023 --> 00:21:57,699
It is possible to compress
all of that information
444
00:21:57,783 --> 00:22:01,739
down into a section of
the frame of the glasses.
445
00:22:01,823 --> 00:22:03,859
And what'll happen is
the computer will say,
446
00:22:03,943 --> 00:22:05,899
"Oh, I've found the things
I'm looking for."Oh!
447
00:22:05,983 --> 00:22:10,379
It'll ignore, entirely, the face
that is actually wearing the glasses
448
00:22:10,463 --> 00:22:13,619
because it feels it
has already found the person.
449
00:22:13,703 --> 00:22:16,859
You don't have to do that
Tom Cruise in Mission Impossible -
450
00:22:16,943 --> 00:22:18,899
where you peel your face off,
any more?
451
00:22:18,983 --> 00:22:22,139
You just put on a ridiculous
pair of glasses and get in anyway?
452
00:22:22,223 --> 00:22:25,619
So the spectacles could possibly
trick facial recognition software
453
00:22:25,703 --> 00:22:27,859
into making them think
you're somebody else.
454
00:22:27,943 --> 00:22:30,739
You probably couldn't
open Milla's phone or her laptop,
455
00:22:30,823 --> 00:22:34,063
but you could certainly...
I can definitely open Romesh's.
456
00:22:35,223 --> 00:22:36,823
APPLAUSE
457
00:22:39,383 --> 00:22:42,419
Now for one final round
of What's The Treatment, Sandi?
458
00:22:42,503 --> 00:22:43,903
JAUNTY XYLOPHONE INTRO PLAYS
459
00:22:45,783 --> 00:22:46,979
Love this!
460
00:22:47,063 --> 00:22:49,939
What do you treat by shoving a piece
of cloth up your nose
461
00:22:50,023 --> 00:22:51,223
and setting fire to it?
462
00:22:52,743 --> 00:22:55,903
If you're in certain parts of
the US, that's how you cure Covid.
463
00:22:57,983 --> 00:22:59,623
APPLAUSE
464
00:23:00,663 --> 00:23:02,419
It's excessive sleeping.
465
00:23:02,503 --> 00:23:05,179
I mean, I have to say,
it's an attempted cure. Wha...?!
466
00:23:05,263 --> 00:23:06,219
It... I know. Yeah!
467
00:23:06,303 --> 00:23:08,539
Stay awake because you'll be
setting your face on fire!
468
00:23:08,623 --> 00:23:11,379
Yeah. Yeah. Yeah! So...
Sleep through this...!
469
00:23:11,463 --> 00:23:12,739
Yeah.
470
00:23:12,823 --> 00:23:15,539
So we're going back a bit - 1738.
We're going to France.
471
00:23:15,623 --> 00:23:17,779
There was a woman called
Elizabeth Orion
472
00:23:17,863 --> 00:23:20,219
and she started sleeping
18 hours a day
473
00:23:20,303 --> 00:23:22,099
and literally nobody could wake her.
474
00:23:22,183 --> 00:23:24,859
And this went on for years and years
and years until she was finally
475
00:23:24,943 --> 00:23:27,499
examined by a guy called Dr Brady,
and he wanted to check out
476
00:23:27,583 --> 00:23:28,979
if she was faking it.
477
00:23:29,063 --> 00:23:31,299
So first he shouted really
loudly at her.
478
00:23:31,383 --> 00:23:34,059
Then he stuck a pin in her flesh,
right through to the bone and so on,
479
00:23:34,143 --> 00:23:37,299
and finally, he took a piece of
cloth and he dipped it in alcohol,
480
00:23:37,383 --> 00:23:39,339
set fire to it,
and shoved it up her nose.
481
00:23:39,423 --> 00:23:42,419
She slept through the whole thing
482
00:23:42,503 --> 00:23:45,539
and then eventually woke up
completely naturally...
483
00:23:45,623 --> 00:23:48,663
I love this - "ate heartily
and did some spinning."
484
00:23:49,823 --> 00:23:51,699
Was her nose or face not singed?
485
00:23:51,783 --> 00:23:52,979
Well, I don't really know
486
00:23:53,063 --> 00:23:54,979
because the villagers had done
all sorts of things.
487
00:23:55,063 --> 00:23:57,499
They had, at one point,
rubbed her back in honey
488
00:23:57,583 --> 00:24:00,503
and laid her in front of a beehive
on a hot day.
489
00:24:02,543 --> 00:24:04,139
I mean, really?!
490
00:24:04,223 --> 00:24:06,539
Was there a fraternity?
Yeah, why...?!
491
00:24:06,623 --> 00:24:08,459
They just hated her sleeping.
492
00:24:08,543 --> 00:24:10,419
And I don't know
what the outcome was.
493
00:24:10,503 --> 00:24:12,179
I love these old cures, though.
494
00:24:12,263 --> 00:24:15,299
There was a 13th century
physician called Bernard de Gordon,
495
00:24:15,383 --> 00:24:18,939
and his recommendation for jolting
somebody out of a coma
496
00:24:19,023 --> 00:24:21,663
was to hold a squealing pig in
their face.
497
00:24:23,303 --> 00:24:25,099
I mean, you could be tempted,
couldn't you?
498
00:24:25,183 --> 00:24:27,979
I could see it happening. If that
works, brilliant, you're a genius.
499
00:24:28,063 --> 00:24:30,699
If not, you're a doctor with a pig,
going home. Yeah! Perfect.
500
00:24:30,783 --> 00:24:33,579
"I didn't manage to wake her, love,
but we're having bacon tomorrow."
501
00:24:33,663 --> 00:24:36,539
Yeah. "Lend me a pig."
"Wake up and smell the bacon!" Yeah.
502
00:24:36,623 --> 00:24:38,019
CHEERING
503
00:24:38,103 --> 00:24:40,819
Let's now treat ourselves
to a round of General Ignorance.
504
00:24:40,903 --> 00:24:42,299
Fingers on buzzers, please.
505
00:24:42,383 --> 00:24:43,939
Which has most body fat -
506
00:24:44,023 --> 00:24:47,739
a human, a pig, a cow, a walrus
or an elephant?
507
00:24:47,823 --> 00:24:49,979
Depends who you're talking about,
really.
508
00:24:50,063 --> 00:24:51,859
Walrus. Oh...
509
00:24:51,943 --> 00:24:52,943
KLAXON BLARES
510
00:24:55,103 --> 00:24:57,139
Are we talking about as a percentage
511
00:24:57,223 --> 00:24:59,979
or actual quantity of fat?
So, proportional to size, OK,
512
00:25:00,063 --> 00:25:02,859
it is the percentage
of body fat content.
513
00:25:02,943 --> 00:25:06,179
A human? It is a human.
It is absolutely a human.
514
00:25:06,263 --> 00:25:09,699
Most humans have higher body
fat than an elephant.
515
00:25:09,783 --> 00:25:11,339
Well, I want to retract that forfeit
516
00:25:11,423 --> 00:25:13,539
because the question
wasn't properly worded.
517
00:25:13,623 --> 00:25:15,219
APPLAUSE
518
00:25:15,303 --> 00:25:16,943
Worth a try!
519
00:25:21,183 --> 00:25:22,703
I've had a terrible day.
520
00:25:24,023 --> 00:25:26,619
If you're a professional athlete,
it's different. If you're...
521
00:25:26,703 --> 00:25:28,619
What's he called, Ronaldo?
Ronaldo. Yeah.
522
00:25:28,703 --> 00:25:31,019
Hungry, hungry Ronaldo,
he's called. Yes.
523
00:25:31,103 --> 00:25:34,099
But he's very lean.
He's about 7% body fat, so...
524
00:25:34,183 --> 00:25:36,139
He's always in a cryo chamber. Yeah.
525
00:25:36,223 --> 00:25:39,979
Freezing! He's got all his toes.
Yeah. It works! Yeah, it works!
526
00:25:40,063 --> 00:25:42,979
Inflammation cannot exist
at those temperatures.
527
00:25:43,063 --> 00:25:44,659
That's what I was told. Oh...
528
00:25:44,743 --> 00:25:46,103
OK, erm...
529
00:25:48,583 --> 00:25:50,699
I read a book about it! Yeah!
530
00:25:50,783 --> 00:25:53,899
What they were examining was
low fertility in captive elephants,
531
00:25:53,983 --> 00:25:56,059
and they thought it might be
something to do with diet
532
00:25:56,143 --> 00:25:58,259
and an obesity issue,
but it isn't that.
533
00:25:58,343 --> 00:26:00,819
The animals are perfectly lean.
Actually, it's stress.
534
00:26:00,903 --> 00:26:04,179
But humans are sometimes known as
the fat primate, so our...
535
00:26:04,263 --> 00:26:06,063
Who's calling us that?
536
00:26:07,223 --> 00:26:09,623
That's one of us!
That's one of our own, Sandi.
537
00:26:10,903 --> 00:26:13,099
That's got to...
That's definitely not any of them.
538
00:26:13,183 --> 00:26:15,779
The cow didn't say that about us!
I won't have it.
539
00:26:15,863 --> 00:26:17,383
One of us has turned on us.
540
00:26:19,063 --> 00:26:22,259
I think it's the bonobos - that's
our nearest relative, the bonobos.
541
00:26:22,343 --> 00:26:25,103
The bonobos? "Here they come,
the fat primate." Yeah...
542
00:26:26,663 --> 00:26:30,259
"Have a... banana,
you fat so-and-so."
543
00:26:30,343 --> 00:26:32,179
What about blue whales?
What do you reckon?
544
00:26:32,263 --> 00:26:34,019
There's barely an ounce
of fat on them.
545
00:26:34,103 --> 00:26:36,179
They're lean and trim
like Usain Bolt.
546
00:26:36,263 --> 00:26:39,139
No, they are fatter than us,
way fatter. They're...
547
00:26:39,223 --> 00:26:41,383
They're hugely fat. Very, very fat.
548
00:26:43,463 --> 00:26:46,019
They could fill the dome
of St Paul's Cathedral
549
00:26:46,103 --> 00:26:48,899
with the fat of a single whale bleu.
This is one of those facts
550
00:26:48,983 --> 00:26:51,299
where you just go, this is weird,
but it's quite interesting
551
00:26:51,383 --> 00:26:54,939
anyway - if you took all the fat in
a sort of larger blue whale,
552
00:26:55,023 --> 00:26:57,619
it would weigh too much to be
legally transported
553
00:26:57,703 --> 00:26:58,943
on British roads.
554
00:27:00,703 --> 00:27:03,059
Which is one of the reasons I don't
do it any more. Yeah.
555
00:27:03,143 --> 00:27:06,219
It turns out humans are a lot
fatter than most other animals.
556
00:27:06,303 --> 00:27:08,739
More than 150 years ago,
which American holiday
557
00:27:08,823 --> 00:27:11,179
had people dressed in scary masks,
558
00:27:11,263 --> 00:27:14,859
giving candy to children and pulling
pranks on unsuspecting passers?
559
00:27:14,943 --> 00:27:16,059
Halloween.
560
00:27:16,143 --> 00:27:17,303
KLAXON BLARES
561
00:27:21,223 --> 00:27:23,739
It is now, but it used to be
Thanksgiving Masking
562
00:27:23,823 --> 00:27:26,459
and it comes from much older
traditions which come from Europe.
563
00:27:26,543 --> 00:27:28,899
"Mumming", you every heard about
mumming?
564
00:27:28,983 --> 00:27:30,619
Which is basically going
door to door..
565
00:27:30,703 --> 00:27:33,259
That's an internet search
I don't want to tell you about.
566
00:27:33,343 --> 00:27:36,579
...asking for food or money
sometimes in exchange for a song.
567
00:27:36,663 --> 00:27:39,059
It's a very, very, very
old tradition.
568
00:27:39,143 --> 00:27:42,579
Called mumming? Mumming?
Yeah, probably named after Mom us,
569
00:27:42,663 --> 00:27:45,099
this is back to your Greek
mythology, so probably not true.
570
00:27:45,183 --> 00:27:47,579
Probably a lie...
He was the persona...
571
00:27:47,664 --> 00:27:49,384
They never even had buckets! No...
572
00:27:53,543 --> 00:27:56,539
Which brings us nicely to the end
of our Trick and Treat show.
573
00:27:56,623 --> 00:27:58,739
So let's see who's
got a bucket of candy
574
00:27:58,823 --> 00:28:01,779
and who's going to be
pelted with eggs.
575
00:28:01,863 --> 00:28:05,559
In last place, falling for every
trick in the book with -26,
576
00:28:05,644 --> 00:28:07,059
it's Alan! Oh...
577
00:28:07,143 --> 00:28:09,299
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
578
00:28:09,383 --> 00:28:10,423
So rude!
579
00:28:11,583 --> 00:28:14,099
In third place with -9, Eshaan!
580
00:28:14,183 --> 00:28:15,383
CHEERING AND APPLAUSE
581
00:28:18,103 --> 00:28:20,899
In second place with a very
creditable plus three points,
582
00:28:20,983 --> 00:28:23,739
it's Jimmy. Look at that! Three!
583
00:28:23,823 --> 00:28:25,623
Three! Count 'em! Count 'em.
584
00:28:26,663 --> 00:28:29,219
One for every book I've read.
585
00:28:29,303 --> 00:28:31,299
And our winner, never missed
a trick,
586
00:28:31,383 --> 00:28:36,276
it's Milla Jovovich...!
No, it's Ria!
587
00:28:42,463 --> 00:28:45,259
And our thanks to Ria, Jimmy,
Eshaan and Alan
588
00:28:45,343 --> 00:28:48,499
and I leave you with this trick
to live by from WC Fields.
589
00:28:48,583 --> 00:28:52,459
"Always carry a flagon of whiskey
in case of snakebite,
590
00:28:52,544 --> 00:28:53,419
"and furthermore,
591
00:28:53,511 --> 00:28:55,561
"always carry a small snake."
592
00:28:55,646 --> 00:28:57,446
Thank you. Goodnight.
58025
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