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1
00:00:03,400 --> 00:00:05,100
Bye, Paul. Bye, Jamie.
Good night.
2
00:00:05,167 --> 00:00:06,968
PAUL: Good night, thanks.
JAMIE: I'll see you soon,
you guys.
3
00:00:07,033 --> 00:00:08,801
MAN: Great party, huh?
Okay.
4
00:00:08,868 --> 00:00:11,534
Good night, you guys.
It was great to see...
Thanks.
5
00:00:11,601 --> 00:00:14,033
Call us, okay?
Bye-bye.
6
00:00:14,100 --> 00:00:15,801
12th street
and 5th Avenue, please.
7
00:00:33,767 --> 00:00:35,334
How could I know?
8
00:00:39,534 --> 00:00:41,367
Do I look okay?
You look great.
9
00:00:41,434 --> 00:00:43,634
Is my hair flat?
Not at all.
10
00:00:43,701 --> 00:00:45,434
It's supposed to be.
11
00:00:45,501 --> 00:00:47,200
Oh. It is.
12
00:00:48,701 --> 00:00:50,033
Okay, good night.
13
00:00:50,100 --> 00:00:51,667
Wait, wait, wait.
Where are you going?
14
00:00:51,734 --> 00:00:53,601
You said
you'd be here at 9:00.
Yeah, so?
15
00:00:53,667 --> 00:00:55,033
It's 9:02.
16
00:00:55,100 --> 00:00:56,334
It's all couples.
17
00:00:56,400 --> 00:00:58,601
Would you please
just give it a chance?
18
00:00:58,667 --> 00:01:01,634
You brought
a present?
Yes. It's her birthday.
19
00:01:01,701 --> 00:01:03,067
Give me a pen.
Give her a pen.
20
00:01:03,133 --> 00:01:04,367
Give her a pen.
21
00:01:04,434 --> 00:01:06,234
Oh, you're gonna
chip in for that?
22
00:01:06,300 --> 00:01:07,968
Whatever.
Hey.
23
00:01:08,033 --> 00:01:10,133
Hey. Happy birthday.
Hi.
24
00:01:10,200 --> 00:01:12,033
Happy birthday, you.
25
00:01:12,100 --> 00:01:13,334
This is from us.
26
00:01:13,400 --> 00:01:14,501
Oh.
27
00:01:14,567 --> 00:01:16,133
(MUSIC PLAYING ON STEREO)
28
00:01:16,200 --> 00:01:18,000
You didn't
have to do that.
Don't be silly.
29
00:01:18,067 --> 00:01:19,501
Do you guys have a lemon?
30
00:01:19,567 --> 00:01:22,334
A lemon. You know what,
I forgot it in
my other pants.
31
00:01:22,400 --> 00:01:25,367
It's okay. It's just that
the guacamole needs
a little something.
32
00:01:25,434 --> 00:01:27,267
I'm sure it's fine.
No, she's right.
33
00:01:27,334 --> 00:01:28,467
I'm going to run
downstairs.
34
00:01:28,534 --> 00:01:30,934
Fran, Fran, relax.
Don't make yourself crazy.
35
00:01:31,000 --> 00:01:33,734
I know. It's just
my first party without Mark
36
00:01:33,801 --> 00:01:37,300
and it's my birthday,
the rug shampooer was late,
and there's no lemon.
37
00:01:37,367 --> 00:01:40,467
Oh.
Yeah, well, your hair
looks nice and flat.
38
00:01:40,534 --> 00:01:41,501
What?
39
00:01:43,868 --> 00:01:45,567
You told me
that was good.
40
00:01:45,634 --> 00:01:47,834
Your hair
looks beautiful,
you look great,
41
00:01:47,901 --> 00:01:49,968
and everybody
seems to be having
a wonderful time.
42
00:01:50,033 --> 00:01:51,167
Oh, God.
What?
43
00:01:51,234 --> 00:01:52,567
The waiters are bunching.
44
00:01:52,634 --> 00:01:54,434
Fran.
I told them to circulate.
45
00:01:54,501 --> 00:01:55,868
BOB: Hey, guys!
46
00:01:55,934 --> 00:01:57,167
Hey.
Hey.
47
00:01:58,200 --> 00:01:59,634
Help me.
I--I got it.
48
00:01:59,701 --> 00:02:01,067
Okay, it's Doris.
Doris
49
00:02:01,133 --> 00:02:02,901
and, uh, Doris' husband.
50
00:02:02,968 --> 00:02:04,701
Hey, Jamie.
Hey, Paul.
51
00:02:04,767 --> 00:02:06,934
Hey, Doris. Hey, champ.
52
00:02:08,067 --> 00:02:10,467
We were just
thinking about you.
53
00:02:10,534 --> 00:02:12,434
We were in Florida...
For the holidays...
54
00:02:12,501 --> 00:02:15,000
To visit the parents...
And we saw a restaurant
55
00:02:15,067 --> 00:02:16,634
that had a sign that said
56
00:02:16,701 --> 00:02:20,133
BOTH: "Paul and Jamie's
Chicken Village."
57
00:02:20,200 --> 00:02:22,033
Well, it wasn't us.
I'll tell you that.
58
00:02:22,100 --> 00:02:23,400
Actually, it was pronounced
"Hymie."
59
00:02:23,467 --> 00:02:25,734
Like the Spanish.
But we still laughed.
60
00:02:26,734 --> 00:02:27,834
So Florida, huh?
61
00:02:27,901 --> 00:02:29,968
Oh, it was like
a second honeymoon.
62
00:02:30,033 --> 00:02:31,367
Without the wedding.
Or the relatives.
63
00:02:31,434 --> 00:02:32,834
And all
the thank you notes.
64
00:02:33,968 --> 00:02:35,167
What?
What?
65
00:02:35,234 --> 00:02:37,834
Well, when we got back
from our honeymoon,
66
00:02:37,901 --> 00:02:39,868
I was so good about
sitting right down
67
00:02:39,934 --> 00:02:42,067
and writing all of our
thank you notes.
I helped.
68
00:02:42,133 --> 00:02:43,868
Yes. He offered to mail them.
69
00:02:43,934 --> 00:02:46,400
See, I figured I'll drop
'em off at the post office
on my way to the gym.
70
00:02:46,467 --> 00:02:48,367
So then...
Zest.
71
00:02:48,434 --> 00:02:51,300
What's that?
It's the Zest story, right?
72
00:02:51,367 --> 00:02:52,634
Yes, it is.
73
00:02:52,701 --> 00:02:53,901
We love that story.
74
00:02:54,734 --> 00:02:55,868
Tell it again.
75
00:02:55,934 --> 00:02:57,133
No, no. That's okay.
76
00:02:58,567 --> 00:03:01,334
Well, it has been great
seeing you.
77
00:03:01,400 --> 00:03:02,834
You, too.
Nice to see you.
78
00:03:02,901 --> 00:03:04,467
MAN: Hey, Bob, Doris.
BOTH: Hi!
79
00:03:04,534 --> 00:03:05,667
Excuse us.
80
00:03:07,634 --> 00:03:09,367
Didn't they used to be
two people?
81
00:03:09,434 --> 00:03:11,167
I know. Did you noticed
how they kept finishing
82
00:03:11,234 --> 00:03:13,400
each other's sentences?
Finishing
each other's sentences?
83
00:03:13,467 --> 00:03:14,934
It's like
they're part of
84
00:03:15,000 --> 00:03:16,167
a cult or something.
A cult or something. Really.
85
00:03:16,234 --> 00:03:17,334
When did that
happen to them?
86
00:03:17,400 --> 00:03:19,000
Really. They're worse
than you.
87
00:03:19,067 --> 00:03:21,000
What is that
supposed to mean?
88
00:03:21,067 --> 00:03:22,334
Nothing.
89
00:03:22,400 --> 00:03:24,467
Hey, we are not like that.
90
00:03:24,534 --> 00:03:26,300
Yeah, right.
91
00:03:26,367 --> 00:03:27,734
We're not.
We're not.
92
00:03:27,801 --> 00:03:28,868
Ooh.
93
00:03:33,968 --> 00:03:36,601
Fran looked good, huh?
Mmm-hmm.
94
00:03:36,667 --> 00:03:38,400
Think she liked
her present?
95
00:03:38,467 --> 00:03:39,701
I think so.
96
00:03:42,667 --> 00:03:46,167
How could anybody say
we're like Doris
and Doris' husband?
97
00:03:46,234 --> 00:03:49,033
Well, we're not.
It's ridiculous.
98
00:03:49,100 --> 00:03:50,801
We just... We just like
being together.
99
00:03:50,868 --> 00:03:52,200
That's normal.
That's normal.
100
00:03:52,267 --> 00:03:54,033
(EXHALES)
101
00:03:54,100 --> 00:03:56,868
Tell you what.
How about I meet you
back here later?
102
00:03:56,934 --> 00:03:58,200
Good idea.
All right.
103
00:03:59,968 --> 00:04:01,834
Oh. Uh...
104
00:04:01,901 --> 00:04:03,701
Are you're going to go...
I'm going that way.
105
00:04:03,767 --> 00:04:05,033
All right, then.
106
00:04:09,601 --> 00:04:11,934
WOMAN: Yeah, yeah, yeah.
So what did you say?
107
00:04:12,000 --> 00:04:14,501
So I said,
"You can't say that.
108
00:04:14,567 --> 00:04:16,067
"This is Pennsylvania."
109
00:04:16,133 --> 00:04:17,334
(ALL LAUGHING)
110
00:04:26,634 --> 00:04:28,300
(PEOPLE CHATTERING)
111
00:04:31,167 --> 00:04:32,200
Whoo!
112
00:04:32,267 --> 00:04:33,400
(COUGHING)
113
00:04:36,267 --> 00:04:38,801
IRA: Hey, Paulie.
Splinky.
114
00:04:38,868 --> 00:04:40,934
So are you and, uh,
you and Jamie fighting?
No.
115
00:04:41,000 --> 00:04:43,033
So what's she
doing over there?
You're here.
116
00:04:43,100 --> 00:04:45,467
What, we can't go to a party
and be there and here?
117
00:04:45,534 --> 00:04:47,133
Not that I know of.
118
00:04:47,200 --> 00:04:48,701
Hey, hey, hey, who's that?
119
00:04:48,767 --> 00:04:50,167
20 bucks she's a model.
120
00:04:50,234 --> 00:04:51,434
Which one?
Mine.
121
00:04:51,501 --> 00:04:53,000
Come on, be my wing man.
122
00:04:53,067 --> 00:04:55,400
Oh, I--I'm not good
at this anymore.
123
00:04:55,467 --> 00:04:57,133
Come on, Paulie.
You were never good at this.
124
00:04:57,200 --> 00:04:58,734
All you gotta do is
talk to her girlfriend.
125
00:04:58,801 --> 00:04:59,834
(SIGHS)
126
00:04:59,901 --> 00:05:01,801
All right. But, hey.
What?
127
00:05:01,868 --> 00:05:03,834
Do not tell them
I'm a director.
128
00:05:03,901 --> 00:05:05,200
But it works.
129
00:05:05,267 --> 00:05:07,934
For you, yeah. But remember,
remember Loretta?
130
00:05:08,000 --> 00:05:09,934
What, the singer?
I liked her.
131
00:05:10,000 --> 00:05:13,434
Yeah, 'cause you didn't get
20 minutes of South Pacific
on your answering machine.
132
00:05:13,501 --> 00:05:15,300
All right, fine.
So be an accountant.
133
00:05:15,367 --> 00:05:17,367
Hey, hey. I'm not going to
be an accountant.
134
00:05:17,434 --> 00:05:19,267
All right, so be a chef.
135
00:05:19,334 --> 00:05:21,067
I wanna be a doctor.
136
00:05:21,133 --> 00:05:22,334
Good.
From Brazil.
137
00:05:22,400 --> 00:05:23,801
Hey, don't push it.
Come on.
138
00:05:25,400 --> 00:05:27,067
Excuse us, ladies, uh,
139
00:05:27,133 --> 00:05:29,100
have either of you
seen my wife?
140
00:05:29,167 --> 00:05:30,367
Uh, no.
141
00:05:30,434 --> 00:05:31,968
Well, that's good,
'cause I'm not married.
142
00:05:34,167 --> 00:05:35,400
How about yourself?
143
00:05:35,467 --> 00:05:36,801
No. I'm Tracy. Hi.
144
00:05:36,868 --> 00:05:38,334
Tracy. Ira.
Carol.
145
00:05:38,400 --> 00:05:41,601
Carol. And this is, uh,
my cousin Dr. Buchman.
146
00:05:41,667 --> 00:05:43,434
Here, here, here.
Let me buy you dinner.
147
00:05:44,267 --> 00:05:45,601
No, thanks.
148
00:05:45,667 --> 00:05:47,367
So what kind of
a doctor are you?
149
00:05:47,434 --> 00:05:48,834
What's that? What kind?
150
00:05:50,234 --> 00:05:51,367
Guess.
151
00:05:51,434 --> 00:05:52,834
Uh, GP.
152
00:05:52,901 --> 00:05:54,067
Uh, no.
153
00:05:54,133 --> 00:05:55,267
Pediatrician.
154
00:05:55,334 --> 00:05:56,667
In fact, no.
155
00:05:57,934 --> 00:05:59,133
Ear, nose, and throat.
156
00:05:59,200 --> 00:06:00,968
Uh, nope, nope and nope.
157
00:06:01,033 --> 00:06:02,400
He's a chiropractor.
158
00:06:02,467 --> 00:06:03,601
Oh.
Really?
159
00:06:03,667 --> 00:06:05,801
Unless I'm lying.
160
00:06:05,868 --> 00:06:08,100
Boy, I am-- I am really
glad to meet you.
161
00:06:08,167 --> 00:06:09,634
Well, thank you very much.
162
00:06:09,701 --> 00:06:11,133
You know,
my neck is killing me.
163
00:06:11,200 --> 00:06:12,267
Ooh! Whoa!
164
00:06:20,067 --> 00:06:21,868
Why the hell
are you taking Lexington?
165
00:06:21,934 --> 00:06:24,601
Hey, don't yell at him
'cause you're mad at me.
166
00:06:24,667 --> 00:06:27,167
(CAR HORN HONKING)
Hey, watch it, nimrod!
167
00:06:29,767 --> 00:06:32,200
I'm fine. I had
a wonderful time.
All right.
168
00:06:32,267 --> 00:06:36,033
How could anybody say
we're like Doris
and Doris' husband?
169
00:06:36,100 --> 00:06:37,667
Well, we're not.
It's ridiculous.
170
00:06:37,734 --> 00:06:39,133
We just like
being together.
171
00:06:39,200 --> 00:06:40,467
That's normal.
That's normal.
172
00:06:40,534 --> 00:06:42,133
(WHISTLES)
173
00:06:42,200 --> 00:06:45,434
Tell you what.
Let's take a little break,
all right?
174
00:06:45,501 --> 00:06:47,000
I'll meet you
back here later.
175
00:06:47,067 --> 00:06:48,267
Good idea.
176
00:06:49,133 --> 00:06:50,934
Hey.
177
00:06:51,000 --> 00:06:52,534
I'll go...
I'm going that way.
178
00:06:52,601 --> 00:06:53,701
All right, then.
179
00:06:54,968 --> 00:06:56,601
Where's Paul?
He's over there.
180
00:06:56,667 --> 00:06:58,701
Oh, no.
Don't ruin my party.
181
00:07:01,100 --> 00:07:02,567
What are you
talking about?
182
00:07:02,634 --> 00:07:04,834
You two are going to
make up eventually.
Just do it now.
183
00:07:04,901 --> 00:07:07,000
We're not fighting.
We're mingling.
184
00:07:07,067 --> 00:07:09,234
Okay, fine. Just put on
a happy face.
185
00:07:10,334 --> 00:07:12,334
Hey, there's
the birthday girl.
186
00:07:12,400 --> 00:07:14,567
Oh, you didn't have to
do that.
187
00:07:14,634 --> 00:07:16,100
What was I,
raised by wolves?
188
00:07:18,434 --> 00:07:19,601
So where's Paulie?
189
00:07:19,667 --> 00:07:20,868
MAN: "...Pennsylvania."
190
00:07:20,934 --> 00:07:22,133
(ALL LAUGHING)
191
00:07:23,667 --> 00:07:25,200
He's over there.
192
00:07:25,267 --> 00:07:26,701
Oh.
193
00:07:26,767 --> 00:07:29,234
What?
Oh, don't worry.
You'll work it out.
194
00:07:32,634 --> 00:07:33,767
Needs lemon.
195
00:07:33,834 --> 00:07:35,534
(LAUGHS)
Oh. Well, thank you.
196
00:07:35,601 --> 00:07:38,033
Yeah. I just love lemon.
It's so versatile.
197
00:07:38,100 --> 00:07:39,501
Don't you think?
198
00:07:39,567 --> 00:07:42,100
Yeah, I guess.
You guess?
199
00:07:42,167 --> 00:07:43,400
(STAMMERING)
No. Sure, it is.
200
00:07:43,467 --> 00:07:44,501
Yeah.
201
00:07:46,434 --> 00:07:48,701
I mean, think about it.
It goes with fish.
202
00:07:48,767 --> 00:07:50,501
It goes with hot tea,
iced tea.
203
00:07:50,567 --> 00:07:51,968
It really dresses up
a glass of water.
204
00:07:53,801 --> 00:07:56,534
Oh! I'm sorry.
Excuse me one second. Fran?
205
00:07:58,000 --> 00:07:59,133
(CLEARS THROAT)
206
00:07:59,200 --> 00:08:00,634
Wow.
Yeah?
207
00:08:00,701 --> 00:08:02,968
Oh, please
don't ruin my party.
208
00:08:03,033 --> 00:08:05,367
I told you,
we're not fighting.
Not that.
209
00:08:07,467 --> 00:08:08,501
Oh, my God.
210
00:08:08,567 --> 00:08:10,300
I swear I didn't
invite him.
211
00:08:10,367 --> 00:08:11,834
What is he doing here?
212
00:08:11,901 --> 00:08:13,667
I don't know.
213
00:08:13,734 --> 00:08:16,033
I heard he's doing some
graphic work for Marsha.
She must have brought him.
214
00:08:16,100 --> 00:08:17,734
You know what?
It's fine, it's fine.
215
00:08:17,801 --> 00:08:19,200
Why wouldn't it be fine?
216
00:08:19,267 --> 00:08:20,601
I broke up with him.
217
00:08:20,667 --> 00:08:21,901
I know.
I did.
218
00:08:21,968 --> 00:08:23,334
I know.
219
00:08:23,400 --> 00:08:24,968
I mean, it's like
ancient history.
220
00:08:25,834 --> 00:08:27,133
Please don't ruin
my party.
221
00:08:27,200 --> 00:08:30,334
Listen, I am just going to
go and say hello
222
00:08:30,400 --> 00:08:31,834
and get it over with.
I'll see you in a minute.
223
00:08:33,601 --> 00:08:37,133
WOMAN: Well, it has
been great seeing you.
224
00:08:37,200 --> 00:08:39,300
Oh, God.
Sorry about that.
225
00:08:39,367 --> 00:08:40,467
Jamie.
226
00:08:41,300 --> 00:08:42,400
Alan?
227
00:08:43,400 --> 00:08:44,634
Hi.
Hi.
228
00:08:44,701 --> 00:08:46,200
Good to see you.
Yeah, you, too.
229
00:08:46,267 --> 00:08:48,000
Wow. You look
completely different.
230
00:08:48,067 --> 00:08:50,901
Your hair, it's...
Yeah, it's flat.
231
00:08:50,968 --> 00:08:52,634
That's a good flat, though.
I like it.
232
00:08:52,701 --> 00:08:54,968
You shaved your, um...
Oh, yeah. Yeah.
233
00:08:58,234 --> 00:09:01,300
So I guess we're
pretty much caught up.
Yeah.
234
00:09:01,367 --> 00:09:03,100
Oh, no, no,
I hear you got married.
235
00:09:03,167 --> 00:09:05,567
Two years.
Wow. Congratulations.
236
00:09:05,634 --> 00:09:08,033
Thank you.
So, uh, where is he?
237
00:09:08,100 --> 00:09:09,234
He's, um...
238
00:09:09,901 --> 00:09:11,367
Whoa!
239
00:09:11,434 --> 00:09:12,634
Gosh, he's someplace.
240
00:09:27,767 --> 00:09:29,434
You took food?
241
00:09:29,501 --> 00:09:30,934
It's a cookie.
242
00:09:32,434 --> 00:09:34,300
Did you take
another one?
No.
243
00:09:37,868 --> 00:09:39,300
Okay, now dab it.
244
00:09:39,367 --> 00:09:40,868
I'm dabbing it.
I'm dabbing it.
245
00:09:40,934 --> 00:09:42,534
All right, all right.
You want me to dab it?
246
00:09:42,601 --> 00:09:44,968
No, I want you to keep
pouring seltzer
on my shoes.
247
00:09:45,934 --> 00:09:47,367
All right,
suit yourself.
248
00:09:47,434 --> 00:09:48,734
Now, where were we?
249
00:09:48,801 --> 00:09:50,334
My neck.
Your neck.
250
00:09:50,400 --> 00:09:52,033
Great. Now what can we do
about this, doc?
251
00:09:52,100 --> 00:09:53,667
Can't you give her
some kind of adjustment?
252
00:09:53,734 --> 00:09:56,434
Uh, sadly, no. Not without
my ultrasound equipment.
253
00:09:56,501 --> 00:09:58,801
Oh, please.
254
00:09:58,868 --> 00:10:00,767
Listen...
Now, come on.
You took the oath.
255
00:10:00,834 --> 00:10:03,467
Here. Let me
take this from you,
256
00:10:03,534 --> 00:10:04,868
and you, right?
257
00:10:04,934 --> 00:10:06,801
All right? Here we go.
258
00:10:06,868 --> 00:10:09,167
All right. This--This
may hurt for a second.
259
00:10:09,234 --> 00:10:10,334
All right?
260
00:10:11,133 --> 00:10:12,367
(CRACKING)
261
00:10:21,033 --> 00:10:21,968
(CRACKING)
262
00:10:24,033 --> 00:10:25,634
How is that?
A little better?
263
00:10:25,701 --> 00:10:27,200
(STAMMERING) It really...
It's better.
264
00:10:27,267 --> 00:10:28,634
Yeah.
Thank you.
265
00:10:28,701 --> 00:10:31,367
You know what?
Is there anyplace to grab
a smoke around here?
266
00:10:31,434 --> 00:10:33,801
A smoke? Actually, yeah.
Out on the veranda.
May I escort you?
267
00:10:33,868 --> 00:10:34,901
Okay.
268
00:10:39,767 --> 00:10:41,701
So.
So.
269
00:10:41,767 --> 00:10:42,934
So.
270
00:10:43,968 --> 00:10:45,501
Here's a funny
little story.
271
00:10:47,434 --> 00:10:49,701
When my wife
and I came back
from our honeymoon...
272
00:10:49,767 --> 00:10:51,434
Ah, you're married.
Yeah.
273
00:10:51,501 --> 00:10:53,868
So, uh, she had done
all the thank you notes,
written them right away.
274
00:10:53,934 --> 00:10:55,133
Then she gave them
to me to mail.
275
00:10:55,200 --> 00:10:56,934
So I put them in my gym bag
276
00:10:57,000 --> 00:10:58,501
and I'm walking to the gym
and on my way
277
00:10:58,567 --> 00:10:59,968
I see at the Waverly Theater
278
00:11:00,033 --> 00:11:01,767
there's this movie
that I was...
I--I wanted to see.
279
00:11:01,834 --> 00:11:04,434
This, uh...
Some Italian thing.
280
00:11:04,501 --> 00:11:06,267
The Tree...The Tree of...
281
00:11:06,334 --> 00:11:08,567
Tree of... Something.
282
00:11:08,634 --> 00:11:09,901
Tree of... Something.
283
00:11:09,968 --> 00:11:12,267
Something. Something.
Something in a tree.
284
00:11:12,334 --> 00:11:14,601
Something in a tree.
285
00:11:14,667 --> 00:11:17,367
A bush. Something
in a bush, bush tree.
286
00:11:17,434 --> 00:11:19,567
Something... Anyway.
Uh, so...
287
00:11:19,634 --> 00:11:21,033
Birds of a Feather.
That's it.
288
00:11:21,100 --> 00:11:24,200
Birds of a Feather.
You ever see that?
289
00:11:24,267 --> 00:11:25,868
No.
No. Oh, well.
290
00:11:26,634 --> 00:11:28,367
You didn't miss much.
291
00:11:28,434 --> 00:11:30,133
It was a little
disappointing.
292
00:11:30,200 --> 00:11:32,400
So, uh, anyway, you know what?
Very nice to meet you.
293
00:11:32,467 --> 00:11:33,968
Yeah, you, too,
Dr. Buchman.
294
00:11:34,033 --> 00:11:35,300
It's Paul.
295
00:11:35,367 --> 00:11:38,934
Oh, that's funny.
There's a director
named Paul Buchman.
296
00:11:39,000 --> 00:11:42,133
Is that right?
Yeah, I always wanted
to work with him.
297
00:11:42,200 --> 00:11:43,868
Let me guess.
You're an actress.
298
00:11:43,934 --> 00:11:46,767
No. I'm an
executive at NBC.
299
00:11:47,934 --> 00:11:49,300
Well, enjoy the party.
300
00:11:50,901 --> 00:11:52,234
Just... Just one second.
301
00:11:53,400 --> 00:11:55,133
Wow.
Having a good time?
302
00:11:55,200 --> 00:11:56,501
Yeah. You?
Oh, yeah.
303
00:11:58,434 --> 00:12:00,067
Say the situation
was reversed...
Okay.
304
00:12:00,133 --> 00:12:01,934
...and you did
the exact same thing.
305
00:12:02,000 --> 00:12:03,133
Then I would
be wrong.
306
00:12:03,200 --> 00:12:04,634
But here the situation
is not reversed.
307
00:12:04,701 --> 00:12:06,300
It's exactly as it was.
308
00:12:06,367 --> 00:12:08,033
So in this case,
the wrong person
would be...
309
00:12:08,100 --> 00:12:10,133
You anyway.
310
00:12:10,200 --> 00:12:11,868
So he puts them
in his gym bag
311
00:12:11,934 --> 00:12:15,434
and says he'll stop
at the post office 'cause
it's right on his way.
312
00:12:15,501 --> 00:12:16,834
Which gym?
313
00:12:16,901 --> 00:12:18,868
Um, Health and Racquet.
314
00:12:18,934 --> 00:12:20,133
(CLEARS THROAT) Anyway.
315
00:12:20,200 --> 00:12:21,501
So--So he's on his way
316
00:12:21,567 --> 00:12:23,434
and he stops to see
Birds of a Feather.
317
00:12:23,501 --> 00:12:24,734
After the gym?
318
00:12:24,801 --> 00:12:26,167
No, instead.
319
00:12:26,234 --> 00:12:27,534
It's a brilliant film.
320
00:12:27,601 --> 00:12:28,734
(CRACKING)
321
00:12:33,567 --> 00:12:35,334
Anyway, um...
322
00:12:35,400 --> 00:12:37,200
So he, uh, he takes a bath.
323
00:12:37,267 --> 00:12:38,434
After the movie.
324
00:12:38,501 --> 00:12:40,767
No, no, no.
This is months later.
325
00:12:40,834 --> 00:12:42,234
I don't think
I'm following you here.
326
00:12:42,300 --> 00:12:43,534
Doesn't matter,
doesn't matter,
doesn't matter.
327
00:12:43,601 --> 00:12:45,534
So you're going out
with Marsha?
328
00:12:45,601 --> 00:12:47,067
Oh, no, no, no.
329
00:12:47,133 --> 00:12:48,367
We're just
good friends.
330
00:12:48,434 --> 00:12:51,234
Oh, good. You know,
whatever makes you happy.
331
00:12:53,334 --> 00:12:54,968
Oh, I'm doing good.
Me, too.
332
00:12:56,234 --> 00:12:57,801
Really good.
Yeah, I am.
333
00:12:59,100 --> 00:13:01,400
No, I--I meant me.
Yeah, I know. Me, too.
334
00:13:01,067 --> 00:13:03,534
I was actually...
I was a little nervous
335
00:13:03,601 --> 00:13:05,267
about coming
here tonight.
336
00:13:05,334 --> 00:13:07,367
I thought things might be
a little awkward
between us.
337
00:13:07,434 --> 00:13:09,501
Why?
338
00:13:09,567 --> 00:13:13,000
(STAMMERING)
Well, I just felt bad about
the way I broke up with you.
339
00:13:13,067 --> 00:13:14,267
(LAUGHING)
340
00:13:15,934 --> 00:13:18,033
Actually,
I broke up with you.
341
00:13:19,567 --> 00:13:20,534
Oh.
342
00:13:22,200 --> 00:13:24,100
Right.
I did.
343
00:13:24,167 --> 00:13:27,033
No, no. I know.
No, don't give me that,
because I did.
344
00:13:28,000 --> 00:13:29,200
I'm agreeing.
345
00:13:29,267 --> 00:13:31,834
Okay. It was really
nice to see you.
346
00:13:31,901 --> 00:13:33,467
You, too.
And I did.
347
00:13:34,534 --> 00:13:35,467
Okay.
348
00:13:39,634 --> 00:13:41,000
Having a good time?
Yeah. You?
349
00:13:41,067 --> 00:13:42,067
Yeah. Oh, sure.
350
00:13:49,934 --> 00:13:51,600
He asked you out?
351
00:13:51,667 --> 00:13:54,468
Yeah. I--I thought it was
a little weird, you know,
352
00:13:54,533 --> 00:13:57,301
since he broke up
with you and everything.
Wait, wait, wait.
353
00:13:57,368 --> 00:13:58,667
He said that?
354
00:13:58,734 --> 00:14:00,667
What?
That he broke up
with me?
355
00:14:00,734 --> 00:14:02,301
Yeah.
356
00:14:02,368 --> 00:14:04,234
I guess. Somebody did. Anyway.
357
00:14:04,301 --> 00:14:06,134
I told him I had to
check with you first.
358
00:14:06,201 --> 00:14:07,533
Well, you don't.
So I can?
359
00:14:07,600 --> 00:14:09,401
No, no, no.
360
00:14:09,468 --> 00:14:11,334
Hi. How's your neck
doing?
361
00:14:11,401 --> 00:14:14,134
Oh, good. Uh, well,
you were great.
362
00:14:14,201 --> 00:14:16,201
Well, beginner's luck.
363
00:14:16,267 --> 00:14:17,600
Here's the thing.
364
00:14:17,667 --> 00:14:19,867
I didn't realize when I...
365
00:14:19,934 --> 00:14:21,301
Ira brought me over...
I didn't...
366
00:14:21,368 --> 00:14:22,800
You know,
there was no...
367
00:14:22,867 --> 00:14:25,401
What do you do
at NBC exactly?
368
00:14:25,468 --> 00:14:26,934
I'm in charge
of miniseries.
369
00:14:30,034 --> 00:14:32,001
Okay, well,
you're gonna think
this is very funny.
370
00:14:32,067 --> 00:14:33,734
It's not that
story again, is it?
371
00:14:33,800 --> 00:14:36,368
No, no. Not that one.
372
00:14:36,434 --> 00:14:39,867
Uh, okay, remember
the other Paul Buchman
you wanted to meet?
373
00:14:39,934 --> 00:14:41,167
Hi, how are you?
374
00:14:41,934 --> 00:14:43,067
I don't get it.
375
00:14:44,301 --> 00:14:45,800
I'm, uh... I'm sort of him.
376
00:14:46,734 --> 00:14:48,034
(CHUCKLES) Oh.
377
00:14:48,101 --> 00:14:50,767
Okay, yeah.
That's real funny.
378
00:14:50,834 --> 00:14:52,468
No, no, no, seriously, truly.
379
00:14:52,533 --> 00:14:54,934
Truly. Ira, would you
please tell this
woman what I do?
380
00:14:55,001 --> 00:14:56,201
He's a chiropractor.
381
00:14:58,567 --> 00:14:59,934
What are you
trying to pull?
382
00:15:00,001 --> 00:15:02,368
Okay, look, here is my
Director's Guild card.
383
00:15:02,434 --> 00:15:05,368
I swear. He does this to me
all the time.
384
00:15:05,434 --> 00:15:07,368
Ira wanted to meet
your friend, so...
385
00:15:07,434 --> 00:15:09,934
He always does this.
He brings me to a party,
then, you know,
386
00:15:10,001 --> 00:15:12,900
he's chasing after
a beautiful woman. He sticks
me with the other one.
387
00:15:19,834 --> 00:15:21,867
Not in any way to imply
that you are the other one.
388
00:15:21,934 --> 00:15:23,334
(STAMMERING) Not...
You're a very... I just...
389
00:15:23,934 --> 00:15:25,533
He put...
390
00:15:25,600 --> 00:15:27,633
All I'm saying, look,
I am, I am, I am
Paul Buchman.
391
00:15:29,034 --> 00:15:31,334
Trust me.
No one will ever know.
392
00:15:35,600 --> 00:15:37,201
Scrod?
Royally.
393
00:15:42,900 --> 00:15:44,734
No! No, no, no, no!
394
00:15:44,800 --> 00:15:47,234
No, no, no!
Not at all.
395
00:15:47,301 --> 00:15:49,267
Excuse me.
Could you please
drive us into a pole?
396
00:15:50,533 --> 00:15:52,067
(ALL SINGING
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU)
397
00:15:52,134 --> 00:15:54,067
Oh, can I
have your wish?
No!
398
00:15:54,867 --> 00:15:56,301
(ALL CHEERING)
399
00:16:01,368 --> 00:16:02,867
(PEOPLE CHATTERING)
400
00:16:04,034 --> 00:16:05,700
Listen, uh,
401
00:16:05,767 --> 00:16:08,134
can I just say
I'm very bad at parties?
402
00:16:08,201 --> 00:16:11,201
Okay, okay. I mean,
I'm not very good
at parties, either.
403
00:16:11,267 --> 00:16:12,600
They're the worst!
404
00:16:12,667 --> 00:16:14,234
You know, ever since
my husband and I
split up...
405
00:16:14,301 --> 00:16:16,001
Oh, sorry.
No, it's fine.
406
00:16:16,067 --> 00:16:17,401
It's just these things,
you know?
407
00:16:17,468 --> 00:16:18,667
He always
got me through them.
408
00:16:18,734 --> 00:16:21,468
We had this whole
sort of sign language
worked out.
409
00:16:21,533 --> 00:16:22,867
Oh, hey, just, uh,
did it ourselves.
410
00:16:22,934 --> 00:16:24,101
It's time to go now.
411
00:16:24,167 --> 00:16:25,667
The old "time to go."
There's, uh,
412
00:16:25,734 --> 00:16:27,800
"You got a little thing
on your nose."
413
00:16:27,867 --> 00:16:30,001
There's this one
"I'm talking to the most
414
00:16:30,067 --> 00:16:31,667
"boring person in the world.
415
00:16:31,734 --> 00:16:33,468
"Pull me out of this hell."
416
00:16:33,533 --> 00:16:35,134
And, uh,
the other sign we have
417
00:16:35,201 --> 00:16:36,500
is this which is, uh,
418
00:16:36,567 --> 00:16:38,600
"Swing on anything.
He's stealing second."
419
00:16:38,667 --> 00:16:40,934
Why don't you call me
at my office on Monday?
420
00:16:41,001 --> 00:16:43,034
Really?
Yeah. Well, we have
this project coming up
421
00:16:43,101 --> 00:16:44,533
I think you might
be perfect for.
422
00:16:44,600 --> 00:16:46,567
Oh, that would be great.
Just...
423
00:16:55,067 --> 00:16:58,368
Wow. You still carry
that damn tea.
424
00:16:58,434 --> 00:17:00,034
Want some?
No, thanks.
425
00:17:00,101 --> 00:17:01,700
I just came in
to say good night.
426
00:17:01,767 --> 00:17:04,201
It was great to see you,
and I broke up with you.
427
00:17:06,368 --> 00:17:07,734
Okay.
428
00:17:07,800 --> 00:17:09,834
So then why did you
tell my sister that you
broke up with me?
429
00:17:09,900 --> 00:17:11,500
Obviously it's not that
important anymore, is it?
430
00:17:11,567 --> 00:17:12,767
No. I just
hate to see you
431
00:17:12,834 --> 00:17:14,468
walking through your life
this confused.
432
00:17:14,533 --> 00:17:15,967
I was there.
Yeah, so was I.
433
00:17:16,034 --> 00:17:18,334
I remember it perfectly.
We had that huge fight
434
00:17:18,401 --> 00:17:19,867
in the middle of Aida...Rigoletto.
435
00:17:19,934 --> 00:17:21,967
Yeah, Rigoletto
with elephants? Hello?
436
00:17:22,034 --> 00:17:23,700
Fine.
Okay.
437
00:17:23,767 --> 00:17:26,934
So then, we have this big
fight in the cab.
438
00:17:27,001 --> 00:17:28,734
Yeah. Which is why
I dropped you off.
439
00:17:28,800 --> 00:17:30,600
Right. And then
the next morning
I woke up,
440
00:17:30,667 --> 00:17:32,734
called you and told you
it was over.
Oh, I called you.
441
00:17:32,800 --> 00:17:34,934
After I called you.
After I left you a message.
442
00:17:35,001 --> 00:17:36,633
After I left
you a message.
443
00:17:36,700 --> 00:17:38,967
Well, I didn't get
that message. I called you
right after breakfast.
444
00:17:39,034 --> 00:17:40,334
Okay, I called you
when I woke up.
445
00:17:40,401 --> 00:17:41,700
Well, when did you wake up?
7:30.
446
00:17:41,767 --> 00:17:43,067
What time did you
have breakfast?
7:00.
447
00:17:43,134 --> 00:17:44,334
Okay, what did you have?
448
00:17:44,401 --> 00:17:46,334
It was five years ago.
I don't remember.
449
00:17:46,401 --> 00:17:48,867
Just answer
the question.
450
00:17:48,934 --> 00:17:50,900
I don't know. Waffles.
Aha!
451
00:17:53,368 --> 00:17:55,667
Aha, what?
You should have
said a muffin.
452
00:17:55,734 --> 00:17:58,234
Because waffles
take at least 40 minutes
to order and eat.
453
00:17:58,301 --> 00:18:00,967
That's if you don't
send them back three times,
which you always did, anyway.
454
00:18:01,034 --> 00:18:03,800
Which means the earliest
you could have
called me is 7:40,
455
00:18:03,867 --> 00:18:06,533
which is 10 minutes
after I broke up with you.
456
00:18:10,001 --> 00:18:11,401
Wow.
What?
457
00:18:12,600 --> 00:18:14,201
You're still nuts.
458
00:18:19,934 --> 00:18:21,967
I'm not nuts.
459
00:18:22,034 --> 00:18:23,468
I'm thorough.
460
00:18:24,834 --> 00:18:26,734
I just wanted to set
the record straight.
461
00:18:26,800 --> 00:18:28,500
Now you can go.
462
00:18:28,567 --> 00:18:30,234
Well, fine, because
I was going anyway.
463
00:18:30,301 --> 00:18:32,167
Well, now you may.
Thank you.
464
00:18:36,167 --> 00:18:38,434
Is everything okay?
It's perfect, it's over,
it's settled.
465
00:18:38,500 --> 00:18:40,633
I never
have to see him again!
Good for you.
466
00:18:40,700 --> 00:18:43,034
Paul's doing that thing
with his watch,
so we're gonna go.
467
00:18:43,101 --> 00:18:44,834
Okay. I miss that.
468
00:18:44,900 --> 00:18:46,234
What?
The ride home
469
00:18:46,301 --> 00:18:48,767
after a party
with somebody, you know?
470
00:18:48,834 --> 00:18:52,134
The way you talk
about everybody,
put down their food.
471
00:18:52,201 --> 00:18:53,934
Please don't
put down my food.
472
00:18:55,301 --> 00:18:57,368
We won't.
Happy birthday.
473
00:18:57,434 --> 00:18:58,567
Thanks.
474
00:19:00,267 --> 00:19:01,767
You ready?
Yes. Let me
get the coats.
475
00:19:01,834 --> 00:19:03,101
I'm gonna check on Lisa.
476
00:19:07,034 --> 00:19:08,734
Oh, hi.
477
00:19:08,800 --> 00:19:10,934
Hi!
Good scrod.
478
00:19:11,001 --> 00:19:12,633
Oh?
Do you like fish?
479
00:19:12,700 --> 00:19:14,401
Sure.
What kind?
480
00:19:14,468 --> 00:19:16,201
I don't know.
I like halibut.
481
00:19:16,267 --> 00:19:18,201
Really?
Yeah. Well, not as much
as flounder.
482
00:19:18,267 --> 00:19:20,500
Good.
But more than pike.
Well, a little more than pike,
483
00:19:20,567 --> 00:19:22,667
although, not as much
as grouper.
484
00:19:22,734 --> 00:19:25,368
Okey-dokey. Hey, honey.
Ready to go?
485
00:19:25,434 --> 00:19:27,368
Yeah. Just a sec.
Did you meet Carol?
486
00:19:27,434 --> 00:19:29,167
Yes. Yes, I did.
487
00:19:31,767 --> 00:19:33,368
Your hair looks great.
Really. Stop fussing.
488
00:19:33,434 --> 00:19:35,633
Thank you.
Thank you very much.
489
00:19:38,234 --> 00:19:41,167
You're a beautiful
woman. Stop fussing.
Seriously.
490
00:19:41,234 --> 00:19:42,834
Paul?
Yes.
491
00:19:42,900 --> 00:19:45,434
Did I give you
my card?
Yes.
492
00:19:45,500 --> 00:19:46,667
May I have it back?
493
00:19:47,800 --> 00:19:48,800
Yes.
494
00:19:51,234 --> 00:19:53,101
How could I know?
495
00:19:53,167 --> 00:19:55,867
The woman likes
to talk about fish.
496
00:19:55,934 --> 00:19:57,633
You can't humor her?
497
00:19:57,700 --> 00:19:59,134
I was about to faint.
498
00:19:59,201 --> 00:20:03,167
Little fish talk,
small price to pay
for a miniseries.
499
00:20:03,234 --> 00:20:05,334
What are you doing
giving our signals away?
500
00:20:05,401 --> 00:20:06,934
I was being charming.
501
00:20:07,001 --> 00:20:10,267
Why didn't you
just give her my
locker combination?
502
00:20:10,334 --> 00:20:11,600
I tried everything else.
503
00:20:11,667 --> 00:20:14,201
She didn't even laugh
at the thank you note story.
504
00:20:14,267 --> 00:20:17,034
Well, did you tell it right?
505
00:20:17,101 --> 00:20:19,368
I think I can tell a story
without your help.
506
00:20:21,001 --> 00:20:22,834
You gave me
the thank you notes.
507
00:20:22,900 --> 00:20:24,800
I put them
in my gym bag to mail.
508
00:20:24,867 --> 00:20:26,401
On the way to the gym,
509
00:20:26,468 --> 00:20:29,001
I stopped at the movies
to see...
What is the name of that?
510
00:20:29,067 --> 00:20:30,667
It doesn't matter.
The point is,
511
00:20:30,734 --> 00:20:32,633
you didn't
get to the gym
for six months,
512
00:20:32,700 --> 00:20:34,067
then you took a bath.
513
00:20:34,134 --> 00:20:36,567
No. No, no, no, no.
You keep jumping that part.
514
00:20:36,633 --> 00:20:40,500
First, after six months,
I realized, I first realized
that I forgot to mail them,
515
00:20:40,567 --> 00:20:41,900
only I didn't
want you to know.
516
00:20:41,967 --> 00:20:43,900
So I thought I'd
make them look weathered,
517
00:20:43,967 --> 00:20:46,034
you know, like the post office
lost them or something.
518
00:20:46,101 --> 00:20:47,600
Right, right, right.
Then you took the bath.
519
00:20:47,667 --> 00:20:49,067
Yeah, then I took the bath.
520
00:20:49,134 --> 00:20:50,800
And I took
the envelopes
into the bathtub
521
00:20:50,867 --> 00:20:53,867
with me to...
To weather them up.
And then you came in...
522
00:20:53,934 --> 00:20:55,967
I came in and I saw you
sitting in the bathtub
523
00:20:56,034 --> 00:20:57,567
with 75 envelopes
around you
524
00:20:57,633 --> 00:20:59,334
and I said,
"What are you doing?"
525
00:20:59,401 --> 00:21:02,967
You said,
"What are you doing?" I said,
"I'm, uh, I'm writing to Zest.
526
00:21:03,034 --> 00:21:05,101
"I'm just so pleased
with their work."
527
00:21:05,167 --> 00:21:06,767
(LAUGHING)
528
00:21:10,500 --> 00:21:11,567
Here.
529
00:21:15,434 --> 00:21:16,700
Thank you.
530
00:21:19,001 --> 00:21:21,567
I'm sorry.
Well, how could you know?
531
00:21:24,101 --> 00:21:26,800
It was a good party,
though, other than that,
wasn't it?
532
00:21:26,867 --> 00:21:28,934
All things considered.
533
00:21:29,001 --> 00:21:30,800
You talk to anybody?
534
00:21:30,867 --> 00:21:33,600
Couple of people.
One guy I liked.
535
00:21:33,667 --> 00:21:35,567
I told him
we'd have dinner
with him next week.
536
00:21:35,633 --> 00:21:36,800
Who?
537
00:21:36,867 --> 00:21:37,967
Hi, I'm Paul.
538
00:21:39,201 --> 00:21:40,368
PAUL: How could I know?
36925
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