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1
00:01:05,875 --> 00:01:08,333
ASTERIX & THE MIDDLE KINGDOM
2
00:01:10,791 --> 00:01:12,750
The year is 50 B.C.
3
00:01:13,333 --> 00:01:15,916
All of Gaul is under Roman occupation.
4
00:01:15,916 --> 00:01:17,291
All of it?
5
00:01:17,291 --> 00:01:18,375
No!
6
00:01:18,375 --> 00:01:20,916
One village of indomitable Gauls
7
00:01:20,916 --> 00:01:24,166
keeps up the good fight
against the invader.
8
00:01:24,166 --> 00:01:27,833
And life is not easy
for the Roman legionaries
9
00:01:27,833 --> 00:01:33,083
in their camps at Totorum,
Aquarium, Laudanum and Compendium.
10
00:01:35,916 --> 00:01:38,750
What I love in life
11
00:01:38,750 --> 00:01:41,916
Is wandering day and night
12
00:01:41,916 --> 00:01:44,541
In the forest what's really fun
13
00:01:44,541 --> 00:01:47,750
Is going for a wander with my chum
14
00:01:47,750 --> 00:01:48,875
It rhymes.
15
00:01:49,375 --> 00:01:51,375
Obelix, our lifestyle isn't healthy.
16
00:01:52,375 --> 00:01:53,541
Too much meat.
17
00:01:54,791 --> 00:01:56,291
- Too much meat?
- Sure.
18
00:01:56,291 --> 00:01:58,625
Wild boar for breakfast, lunch and dinner.
19
00:01:58,625 --> 00:01:59,875
Supper, too!
20
00:01:59,875 --> 00:02:01,375
Not to mention ale.
21
00:02:01,875 --> 00:02:03,666
It can't be good for us.
22
00:02:03,666 --> 00:02:05,625
What else is there to eat?
23
00:02:05,625 --> 00:02:08,875
I don't know.
We could try balancing it out with...
24
00:02:09,791 --> 00:02:10,833
vegetables.
25
00:02:12,500 --> 00:02:13,583
Veg...
26
00:02:13,583 --> 00:02:14,833
Vegetables?
27
00:02:20,416 --> 00:02:22,583
You make me laugh, Asterix.
28
00:02:23,583 --> 00:02:24,750
Hear him, Dogmatix?
29
00:02:25,416 --> 00:02:28,250
Imagine chewing a stick of celery,
not a bone!
30
00:02:28,250 --> 00:02:29,291
Vegetables!
31
00:02:29,958 --> 00:02:31,416
You can laugh.
32
00:02:31,416 --> 00:02:35,166
I honestly don't see the point
of ruining our health.
33
00:02:35,166 --> 00:02:36,625
Same with the magic potion.
34
00:02:37,583 --> 00:02:39,875
Could be, it's bad for our systems.
35
00:02:39,875 --> 00:02:42,041
Where's the data, honestly? Where?
36
00:02:42,541 --> 00:02:44,416
Above all, do we really need it?
37
00:02:47,291 --> 00:02:48,125
You okay?
38
00:02:48,125 --> 00:02:49,125
No, I'm not okay.
39
00:02:49,625 --> 00:02:52,708
I'm just saying,
throwing in a mixed salad, mushrooms...
40
00:02:52,708 --> 00:02:55,583
Chestnuts!
When they're in season, obviously.
41
00:03:01,333 --> 00:03:04,083
You snagged one already.
Leave the poor things alone.
42
00:03:12,166 --> 00:03:13,791
Peek-a-boo, loopy loolas!
43
00:03:17,416 --> 00:03:19,000
Ave! Sorry, we're lost.
44
00:03:19,000 --> 00:03:21,000
Who knew we're so near the village?
45
00:03:21,000 --> 00:03:23,000
Me. I kept telling you.
46
00:03:23,916 --> 00:03:25,000
- Didn't.
- Did.
47
00:03:25,000 --> 00:03:27,500
And you said, "To hell with the Gauls!"
48
00:03:27,500 --> 00:03:29,083
"They get up my nose."
49
00:03:29,083 --> 00:03:30,958
"They can shove their menhirs."
50
00:03:32,208 --> 00:03:33,833
I'm a terrible liar.
51
00:03:35,250 --> 00:03:36,250
Leave this to me.
52
00:03:37,458 --> 00:03:39,583
I'll show you I don't need this.
53
00:03:42,291 --> 00:03:43,541
Strength is here.
54
00:03:43,541 --> 00:03:44,916
And here.
55
00:03:45,708 --> 00:03:48,333
Take a seat, sit tight and enjoy the show.
56
00:03:51,708 --> 00:03:52,708
Hello.
57
00:03:58,291 --> 00:04:00,416
Stupid helmet! I blame the helmet.
58
00:04:00,416 --> 00:04:01,875
You plan to step in?
59
00:04:01,875 --> 00:04:03,458
No, not allowed.
60
00:04:12,708 --> 00:04:13,750
Help me, silly!
61
00:04:13,750 --> 00:04:14,875
Harder!
62
00:04:33,083 --> 00:04:34,041
Not fair!
63
00:04:35,833 --> 00:04:36,666
Cheat!
64
00:04:37,458 --> 00:04:40,416
Not at all. Without it, same result.
65
00:04:47,125 --> 00:04:48,500
You don't have to.
66
00:04:49,708 --> 00:04:50,541
I do.
67
00:04:56,833 --> 00:04:59,791
{\an8}THE MIDDLE KINGDOM
68
00:05:32,541 --> 00:05:33,708
Where is everyone?
69
00:05:34,291 --> 00:05:35,458
It's hardly fresh.
70
00:05:36,083 --> 00:05:37,291
- And you are?
- What?
71
00:05:37,291 --> 00:05:38,666
No, nothing.
72
00:05:38,666 --> 00:05:41,916
{\an8}Getafix, he won't let me
smoke my boar in the house.
73
00:05:41,916 --> 00:05:45,166
{\an8}Just because
Mr. Asterix has decided to quit
74
00:05:45,166 --> 00:05:46,541
doesn't mean I have to.
75
00:05:46,541 --> 00:05:47,791
Panacea!
76
00:05:48,458 --> 00:05:49,708
Panacea!
77
00:05:50,958 --> 00:05:52,041
Morning, girls.
78
00:05:52,583 --> 00:05:54,208
- Coming to the market?
- Yes!
79
00:05:57,166 --> 00:05:58,250
Hi, Panacea.
80
00:05:58,250 --> 00:05:59,333
Hi, Obelix.
81
00:06:01,750 --> 00:06:03,208
I just wanted to say...
82
00:06:04,958 --> 00:06:07,458
I carved this menhir thinking of you.
It's a gift.
83
00:06:08,250 --> 00:06:10,583
Sweet, but what use is it to me?
84
00:06:15,083 --> 00:06:16,083
See you.
85
00:06:18,250 --> 00:06:19,333
She refused it.
86
00:06:20,375 --> 00:06:21,500
She refused my menhir.
87
00:06:21,500 --> 00:06:23,958
Obviously. It weighs a ton.
88
00:06:23,958 --> 00:06:26,375
What use is it? Put it on her finger?
89
00:06:26,375 --> 00:06:27,541
Getafix, your sickle.
90
00:06:27,541 --> 00:06:29,083
Thanks, Fulliautomatix.
91
00:06:29,083 --> 00:06:30,166
Slow down.
92
00:06:32,958 --> 00:06:33,833
Say...
93
00:06:37,958 --> 00:06:40,750
{\an8}Asterix has the right to change his diet.
94
00:06:40,750 --> 00:06:42,208
{\an8}Not everyone else's.
95
00:06:43,125 --> 00:06:44,458
Getafix, what's wrong?
96
00:06:48,000 --> 00:06:48,958
I'm sinking.
97
00:06:48,958 --> 00:06:50,083
You're sinking?
98
00:06:50,083 --> 00:06:51,666
It must be quicksand.
99
00:06:51,666 --> 00:06:54,333
There is no quicksand in the region.
100
00:06:55,000 --> 00:06:57,083
If you ask me, someone needs to know.
101
00:06:57,958 --> 00:06:59,166
{\an8}Chariot ahoy!
102
00:06:59,750 --> 00:07:01,458
{\an8}Chariot ahoy!
103
00:07:04,791 --> 00:07:05,791
{\an8}Excuse me.
104
00:07:06,750 --> 00:07:10,333
{\an8}
Some nights, my voice just wants to scream
105
00:07:10,333 --> 00:07:12,083
Shut it, will you!
106
00:07:18,208 --> 00:07:20,291
{\an8}For once, I had a customer.
107
00:07:20,291 --> 00:07:22,125
{\an8}For once, you have fresh fish!
108
00:07:22,125 --> 00:07:24,583
What? My fish isn't fresh?
109
00:07:31,625 --> 00:07:32,666
{\an8}I'll take a look.
110
00:07:55,750 --> 00:07:59,000
{\an8}
for Louise and Marcel
111
00:07:59,500 --> 00:08:00,541
Hold still.
112
00:08:00,541 --> 00:08:03,291
Bankruptis, already here? It's not autumn.
113
00:08:03,291 --> 00:08:04,291
You were hit?
114
00:08:04,291 --> 00:08:07,583
- Where's your uncle?
- Quiet, for goodness' sake!
115
00:08:07,583 --> 00:08:09,416
My friends, how are you?
116
00:08:09,916 --> 00:08:12,416
I come from China to ask for help.
117
00:08:13,125 --> 00:08:14,000
It's nuts!
118
00:08:14,000 --> 00:08:15,500
Why are you blond?
119
00:08:15,500 --> 00:08:16,750
I was going to say.
120
00:08:16,750 --> 00:08:19,291
I'm a Gaul, all right? Always have been.
121
00:08:19,291 --> 00:08:20,958
Please... No slip-ups.
122
00:08:20,958 --> 00:08:22,833
No slip-ups, I'm begging you.
123
00:08:22,833 --> 00:08:24,000
I'll explain. Come on.
124
00:08:35,041 --> 00:08:36,000
That one...
125
00:08:36,500 --> 00:08:38,041
The beautiful girl fast asleep
126
00:08:38,041 --> 00:08:39,416
is a princess.
127
00:08:39,416 --> 00:08:42,625
Named Sa See.
Daughter of the Empress of China.
128
00:08:45,000 --> 00:08:46,666
You do know where China is?
129
00:08:49,250 --> 00:08:50,958
- Two princesses!
- Actually, no.
130
00:08:50,958 --> 00:08:52,958
That's her bodyguard. Ka Ra Tay.
131
00:08:53,541 --> 00:08:56,833
Believe me, she's insane.
Smashed everyone on the way.
132
00:08:56,833 --> 00:08:59,791
She smashed Scythians,
smashed Parthians, smashed Huns!
133
00:09:00,458 --> 00:09:01,458
A beautiful woman.
134
00:09:01,458 --> 00:09:04,625
A female bodyguard? Don't make me laugh!
135
00:09:04,625 --> 00:09:06,041
Go ahead, laugh.
136
00:09:06,541 --> 00:09:09,541
Share with us your Alpha male experience.
137
00:09:10,708 --> 00:09:12,791
Alpha male, just try to touch her.
138
00:09:12,791 --> 00:09:14,791
- Be my guest.
- All right.
139
00:09:20,833 --> 00:09:21,958
There you go!
140
00:09:46,708 --> 00:09:48,041
You drank potion?
141
00:09:48,666 --> 00:09:49,500
No.
142
00:09:50,375 --> 00:09:51,500
I don't get it.
143
00:09:51,500 --> 00:09:53,583
I get what's going on.
144
00:09:54,333 --> 00:09:56,708
And you'd better stop right now.
145
00:09:56,708 --> 00:09:59,958
Princess and I are more than friends, see?
146
00:10:00,625 --> 00:10:01,791
- You are?
- We are.
147
00:10:02,333 --> 00:10:03,166
Princess...
148
00:10:06,333 --> 00:10:07,333
We have arrived.
149
00:10:11,500 --> 00:10:12,583
What is all this?
150
00:10:13,291 --> 00:10:15,333
- It's the chief!
- Run!
151
00:10:15,833 --> 00:10:18,500
Vitalstatistix is chief of all us Gauls.
152
00:10:19,833 --> 00:10:22,125
Glad to see you, by Toutatis!
153
00:10:22,875 --> 00:10:25,916
Where's your Uncle Ekonomikrisis?
His silk scarves are too small.
154
00:10:25,916 --> 00:10:27,208
Really?
155
00:10:27,208 --> 00:10:29,583
He said they'd loosen up. I look loose?
156
00:10:29,583 --> 00:10:30,916
- No.
- He's a crook!
157
00:10:32,000 --> 00:10:33,916
He sent me. Let me explain.
158
00:10:34,500 --> 00:10:36,916
Allow me to introduce Princess Sa See,
159
00:10:36,916 --> 00:10:39,458
daughter of the Empress of China.
160
00:10:41,541 --> 00:10:42,958
Who's she?
161
00:10:42,958 --> 00:10:44,666
- Thanks, Bankruptis.
- You're welcome.
162
00:10:45,333 --> 00:10:48,958
Great Chief Vitalstatistix,
let me explain the reasons for my visit.
163
00:10:48,958 --> 00:10:50,500
Getafix, is China far?
164
00:10:50,500 --> 00:10:53,500
Yes, it's where the sun rises. That way.
165
00:11:00,125 --> 00:11:03,375
Since the Princess's story
could be very, very long,
166
00:11:03,375 --> 00:11:05,208
and not devoid of emotion,
167
00:11:05,208 --> 00:11:08,375
allow me to give you a potted version.
168
00:11:08,375 --> 00:11:11,166
The Princess lives with her mother,
the Empress,
169
00:11:11,166 --> 00:11:14,500
who reigns with difficulty,
since her husband's death,
170
00:11:14,500 --> 00:11:16,250
over her nation's six kingdoms.
171
00:11:16,250 --> 00:11:21,125
Beloved by her people, the Empress
is confronted by ambitious princes
172
00:11:21,125 --> 00:11:23,375
who secretly covet her throne.
173
00:11:24,583 --> 00:11:28,208
The trouble began
on the birthday of Princess Sa See,
174
00:11:28,208 --> 00:11:30,125
whom you met in the village.
175
00:11:30,125 --> 00:11:31,750
So this is a flashback.
176
00:11:36,208 --> 00:11:37,750
Another vase?
177
00:11:39,291 --> 00:11:42,666
Each year, same deal.
Who's interested in Chinese vases?
178
00:11:42,666 --> 00:11:46,791
I'm 20 today, and never left this palace.
Just gardens and guards!
179
00:11:46,791 --> 00:11:48,958
Sa See, for your security, you know...
180
00:11:48,958 --> 00:11:53,541
Father promised to take me to Lutetia.
Its shops, its taverns...
181
00:11:53,541 --> 00:11:55,000
I want to see Gaul.
182
00:11:55,500 --> 00:11:58,916
We discussed this.
It's dangerous to travel so far.
183
00:11:58,916 --> 00:12:00,000
The answer is no.
184
00:12:01,583 --> 00:12:03,083
Here, open this one.
185
00:12:04,875 --> 00:12:08,041
It's a coin with your head on it.
Newly minted.
186
00:12:08,666 --> 00:12:10,125
To buy a dress in Lutetia?
187
00:12:11,083 --> 00:12:11,916
Sa See!
188
00:12:19,250 --> 00:12:20,750
Prince Deng Tsin Quin...
189
00:12:24,208 --> 00:12:26,916
I hear you raised taxes again
in your kingdom,
190
00:12:26,916 --> 00:12:28,750
while your people endure famine.
191
00:12:28,750 --> 00:12:30,541
If I may, Your Majesty,
192
00:12:30,541 --> 00:12:34,583
Julius Caesar levied taxes
across the Roman world, and it works!
193
00:12:34,583 --> 00:12:37,208
No pain, no pleasure,
as they say back home.
194
00:12:37,208 --> 00:12:38,541
Who is he?
195
00:12:38,541 --> 00:12:41,500
Scar Dee Kat, my new strategic advisor.
196
00:12:41,500 --> 00:12:44,375
In Rome, he wielded power and influence.
197
00:12:44,875 --> 00:12:48,500
Put the Chinese people
before bad Roman advice.
198
00:12:49,083 --> 00:12:51,458
Naturally, Your Imperial Majesty.
199
00:12:52,416 --> 00:12:53,500
Before I leave,
200
00:12:53,500 --> 00:12:56,291
have you considered my marriage proposal?
201
00:12:56,291 --> 00:12:58,000
I spoke with Princess Sa See.
202
00:12:58,000 --> 00:12:59,125
And?
203
00:12:59,833 --> 00:13:01,083
It made us laugh.
204
00:13:04,041 --> 00:13:05,708
Make a woman laugh and...
205
00:13:07,791 --> 00:13:08,833
Sorry.
206
00:13:09,416 --> 00:13:12,041
If it made Your Majesty
and her daughter laugh,
207
00:13:12,041 --> 00:13:13,416
then so be it.
208
00:13:19,625 --> 00:13:20,458
Ka Ra Tay...
209
00:13:24,083 --> 00:13:25,500
My faithful warrior,
210
00:13:26,083 --> 00:13:27,291
fetch my daughter.
211
00:13:50,958 --> 00:13:52,416
This is China.
212
00:13:52,958 --> 00:13:56,208
The Chinese love all things Gaul,
so we're Gauls. Simple.
213
00:13:56,208 --> 00:13:58,708
For a Phoenician,
it's humiliating, Ekonomikrisis.
214
00:13:59,916 --> 00:14:01,125
Ekonomikrisix!
215
00:14:01,125 --> 00:14:03,208
Get it into your head!
216
00:14:03,208 --> 00:14:05,625
You guys are Premix and Overmix.
217
00:14:06,125 --> 00:14:07,500
We are Gauls.
218
00:14:07,500 --> 00:14:08,500
Gotix?
219
00:14:08,500 --> 00:14:10,416
As usual, we make all the efforts.
220
00:14:11,125 --> 00:14:12,000
Only you?
221
00:14:15,208 --> 00:14:16,833
Laugh? You're laughing?
222
00:14:16,833 --> 00:14:19,125
Am I laughing about going blond?
223
00:14:19,791 --> 00:14:22,333
Grab those papyri
and hit the streets. Move!
224
00:14:22,333 --> 00:14:24,458
Go,
yalla! I mean, let's go.
225
00:14:24,458 --> 00:14:26,458
Put those helmets on! There!
226
00:14:27,041 --> 00:14:28,083
Let's go!
227
00:14:28,083 --> 00:14:29,416
China is ours!
228
00:14:31,083 --> 00:14:32,166
No snooping.
229
00:14:32,750 --> 00:14:34,208
You need help?
230
00:14:34,208 --> 00:14:35,750
Touch it, buy it. Golden rule.
231
00:14:36,625 --> 00:14:37,958
They're genuine Louboutix?
232
00:14:37,958 --> 00:14:39,666
"They're genuine Louboutix?"
233
00:14:39,666 --> 00:14:42,375
Of course they are. Look at the sole!
234
00:14:42,375 --> 00:14:46,250
As red as the price tag.
If you can't afford them, try Diskountos.
235
00:14:47,958 --> 00:14:50,958
Give my stall some space. Scram!
236
00:14:51,875 --> 00:14:53,041
You nincompoop!
237
00:14:53,875 --> 00:14:55,375
Sorry, Her Majesty.
238
00:14:55,375 --> 00:14:57,000
Sorry for my nephew.
239
00:14:57,000 --> 00:14:59,666
He has his mother's temper.
240
00:14:59,666 --> 00:15:01,166
True, everybody says so.
241
00:15:01,166 --> 00:15:04,166
Of course, for you,
sandals are on the house.
242
00:15:04,166 --> 00:15:06,416
I'll take them out of his wages.
243
00:15:06,416 --> 00:15:08,583
- That hurt.
- Yup. Your fault.
244
00:15:08,583 --> 00:15:10,666
Ekonomikrisix, at your service.
245
00:15:11,291 --> 00:15:13,125
No one shakes hands here.
246
00:15:13,125 --> 00:15:14,791
- No one.
- Not one.
247
00:15:14,791 --> 00:15:17,791
A most regrettable mistake, Princess.
248
00:15:18,541 --> 00:15:19,500
Gorgeous.
249
00:15:21,916 --> 00:15:23,541
Bankruptix, the nephew.
250
00:15:23,541 --> 00:15:25,833
I have my mother's temper.
251
00:15:25,833 --> 00:15:26,916
As well as...
252
00:15:27,666 --> 00:15:28,666
her eyes.
253
00:15:31,541 --> 00:15:33,166
I envy you your blond hair.
254
00:15:33,833 --> 00:15:37,083
I had no choice, Princess.
I was born this way.
255
00:15:37,083 --> 00:15:38,833
Nature decided for me.
256
00:15:38,833 --> 00:15:40,750
Your Imperial Majesty,
257
00:15:40,750 --> 00:15:46,208
if you'd care to forgive us
and taste our famous nectar from Gaul,
258
00:15:46,208 --> 00:15:47,500
the honour's all ours.
259
00:15:48,625 --> 00:15:49,625
Come in.
260
00:15:50,750 --> 00:15:51,833
A great vintage.
261
00:15:51,833 --> 00:15:55,000
To celebrate
the great and majestic empress.
262
00:15:56,500 --> 00:15:58,166
On the nose, fruity notes.
263
00:15:58,708 --> 00:15:59,791
There's sunshine.
264
00:16:00,750 --> 00:16:02,208
There's pine and shade.
265
00:16:02,208 --> 00:16:04,416
I'm getting hints of chestnut.
266
00:16:04,416 --> 00:16:05,625
Bananas.
267
00:16:05,625 --> 00:16:07,291
And dates.
268
00:16:07,291 --> 00:16:10,416
Overall, more fruit salad than wine.
269
00:16:14,708 --> 00:16:16,041
I want Gaul of it
270
00:16:25,625 --> 00:16:26,666
I'll take the lot.
271
00:16:30,083 --> 00:16:31,333
Perfumes from Gaul?
272
00:16:31,333 --> 00:16:33,250
But of course, Princess.
273
00:16:33,250 --> 00:16:35,250
All our perfumes come from Gaul.
274
00:16:35,250 --> 00:16:36,791
Like me and my sales team.
275
00:16:38,125 --> 00:16:39,875
This is the latest creation
276
00:16:39,875 --> 00:16:42,791
that every Gaul lady
would die for.
Amphor.
277
00:16:43,375 --> 00:16:44,333
Amphor?
278
00:16:44,833 --> 00:16:45,916
I adore!
279
00:16:45,916 --> 00:16:47,250
I adore, too.
280
00:16:47,250 --> 00:16:48,666
Archers! Loose!
281
00:16:48,666 --> 00:16:49,708
Watch out!
282
00:16:57,666 --> 00:16:59,083
Sa See, are you hurt?
283
00:16:59,083 --> 00:17:00,500
No, mother, I'm fine.
284
00:17:00,500 --> 00:17:01,416
Anything broken?
285
00:17:01,416 --> 00:17:03,208
No, I'm fine.
286
00:17:03,208 --> 00:17:04,583
I meant the stock.
287
00:17:04,583 --> 00:17:05,666
Nice.
288
00:17:05,666 --> 00:17:07,083
Hey, Empress!
289
00:17:07,083 --> 00:17:08,416
Come out, hands up!
290
00:17:08,416 --> 00:17:10,625
And no one will get hurt.
291
00:17:11,166 --> 00:17:12,250
You're encircled.
292
00:17:12,250 --> 00:17:13,583
And slanted!
293
00:17:15,833 --> 00:17:18,625
You said "encircled",
like eyes with makeup.
294
00:17:18,625 --> 00:17:20,083
And I added "And..."
295
00:17:24,541 --> 00:17:25,541
There's another exit?
296
00:17:25,541 --> 00:17:27,208
Yes. My secret passage.
297
00:17:27,208 --> 00:17:29,166
In case customs raid...
298
00:17:29,166 --> 00:17:30,916
I mean, in case of fire.
299
00:17:30,916 --> 00:17:32,625
It's the fire escape.
300
00:17:33,500 --> 00:17:35,750
Ka Ra Tay, take my daughter and go.
301
00:17:35,750 --> 00:17:37,541
No, Mother. Flee with us.
302
00:17:37,541 --> 00:17:39,666
The Empress of China does not flee. Go!
303
00:17:39,666 --> 00:17:41,291
The traitor wants you.
304
00:17:41,791 --> 00:17:42,625
Let's go.
305
00:17:44,416 --> 00:17:45,791
- Bye, Princess.
- Stop it!
306
00:17:45,791 --> 00:17:49,000
I'll stay. A good merchant
never abandons his merchandise.
307
00:17:49,000 --> 00:17:50,458
Like a ship's captain.
308
00:17:52,416 --> 00:17:53,791
Go home and fetch the others.
309
00:17:53,791 --> 00:17:55,166
What? Uncle Mahmood?
310
00:17:55,166 --> 00:17:57,000
No! Our other home.
311
00:17:57,000 --> 00:17:58,375
- That home?
- That home!
312
00:17:58,375 --> 00:17:59,416
It's miles away!
313
00:17:59,416 --> 00:18:00,541
So get going!
314
00:18:01,666 --> 00:18:02,625
No, wait!
315
00:18:03,291 --> 00:18:05,000
Take good care of the princess.
316
00:18:05,000 --> 00:18:06,541
We are not losing this sale.
317
00:18:06,541 --> 00:18:10,041
Just imagine.
You're saving the Princess of China.
318
00:18:17,625 --> 00:18:19,000
I'll work it out later.
319
00:18:19,000 --> 00:18:20,208
Take care, Unc!
320
00:18:25,250 --> 00:18:27,375
I trained in Phoenician boxing.
321
00:18:27,375 --> 00:18:28,458
Leave this to me.
322
00:18:29,416 --> 00:18:31,666
So you guys are harassing the ladies?
323
00:18:37,166 --> 00:18:39,041
I went in there and...
324
00:18:40,208 --> 00:18:41,375
What happened?
325
00:18:41,375 --> 00:18:43,166
You got kicked in the head.
326
00:18:43,833 --> 00:18:45,583
All right, I get it now.
327
00:18:45,583 --> 00:18:47,708
So who's laughing now, Empress?
328
00:18:47,708 --> 00:18:49,916
Excuse me a second, who are you?
329
00:18:49,916 --> 00:18:53,208
I don't get any of this.
I'm confused, totally lost.
330
00:18:54,250 --> 00:18:56,250
- Well?
- The Princess has vanished.
331
00:18:56,250 --> 00:18:58,708
If she's hiding, she's a smart cookie!
332
00:18:59,208 --> 00:19:01,166
A shifty little fish!
333
00:19:02,333 --> 00:19:03,375
Scour the kingdom!
334
00:19:03,375 --> 00:19:04,916
Offer a handsome reward!
335
00:19:04,916 --> 00:19:08,166
I want her alive
at our magnificent forced marriage!
336
00:19:10,750 --> 00:19:12,000
I know my daughter.
337
00:19:12,500 --> 00:19:13,916
She'll come for revenge.
338
00:19:13,916 --> 00:19:17,166
Scary!
A spoilt little girl who never left home.
339
00:19:17,166 --> 00:19:19,333
- That's my wife you're talking about.
- Sorry.
340
00:19:19,333 --> 00:19:23,333
I'm sorry too.
I'm so confused, totally lost!
341
00:19:23,333 --> 00:19:25,333
I'll have you beheaded, Empress.
342
00:19:25,333 --> 00:19:28,333
No, there'll be no beheading.
It's rude, sir.
343
00:19:28,333 --> 00:19:31,125
Yes, Deng Tsin Quin,
you can't kill the Empress.
344
00:19:31,125 --> 00:19:32,500
What?
345
00:19:32,500 --> 00:19:35,750
It's tricky.
The other four kingdoms' princes hate you.
346
00:19:35,750 --> 00:19:38,250
They claim you're not Emperor material.
347
00:19:38,250 --> 00:19:41,541
They say you are
"physically unbecoming with a tiny..."
348
00:19:41,541 --> 00:19:43,208
- Nonsense.
- No, army!
349
00:19:43,708 --> 00:19:46,125
A tiny army. The tiniest of all of them.
350
00:19:46,125 --> 00:19:48,000
In combat, it's hopeless.
351
00:19:48,000 --> 00:19:50,750
Your impudence suggests you have a plan.
352
00:19:50,750 --> 00:19:52,000
Naturally.
353
00:19:53,166 --> 00:19:54,208
My idea...
354
00:19:56,166 --> 00:19:57,958
Take them away! Let's go!
355
00:19:57,958 --> 00:19:59,250
Take it easy!
356
00:19:59,250 --> 00:20:02,041
Easy! Mind the Empress and my wares.
357
00:20:02,041 --> 00:20:04,041
China is ours!
358
00:20:35,958 --> 00:20:37,500
Princess, it'll be fine.
359
00:20:37,500 --> 00:20:38,625
I'm here for you.
360
00:20:39,791 --> 00:20:40,875
I'm here.
361
00:20:42,875 --> 00:20:44,416
Don't worry. We'll help you.
362
00:20:44,416 --> 00:20:48,125
Everyone knows that we Gauls
just love to help.
363
00:20:48,125 --> 00:20:49,041
No!
364
00:20:51,541 --> 00:20:52,625
Not a chance.
365
00:20:53,166 --> 00:20:55,458
Was it just me or did her story drag on?
366
00:20:56,833 --> 00:21:00,916
By Benelos, how come folks
always come asking us for help?
367
00:21:01,583 --> 00:21:02,916
Vitalstatistix,
368
00:21:02,916 --> 00:21:04,291
it's a tradition
369
00:21:04,291 --> 00:21:06,416
for us to help those in need.
370
00:21:07,000 --> 00:21:09,083
Not forgetting Bankrup...
371
00:21:09,791 --> 00:21:10,708
Tis.
372
00:21:10,708 --> 00:21:12,083
Bankruptix.
373
00:21:12,625 --> 00:21:14,041
The answer's no. There!
374
00:21:14,041 --> 00:21:15,583
It's often been yes.
375
00:21:15,583 --> 00:21:16,500
But it's no.
376
00:21:17,166 --> 00:21:18,583
I'm not feeling it.
377
00:21:18,583 --> 00:21:20,083
China's unknown to us.
378
00:21:20,083 --> 00:21:21,833
We don't know where it is.
379
00:21:21,833 --> 00:21:22,791
Sure we do.
380
00:21:22,791 --> 00:21:23,875
Even I know.
381
00:21:24,375 --> 00:21:27,041
It's the way where the sun rises.
382
00:21:27,791 --> 00:21:29,041
Stumped him.
383
00:21:29,541 --> 00:21:31,250
I don't know and I decide.
384
00:21:31,250 --> 00:21:33,333
Great Chief, I respect your decision.
385
00:21:33,333 --> 00:21:35,833
I depart to save my mother and country.
386
00:21:35,833 --> 00:21:37,166
Princess!
387
00:21:39,875 --> 00:21:41,083
I'm up for it.
388
00:21:41,625 --> 00:21:44,375
And anyway, I'm free right now.
389
00:21:45,541 --> 00:21:46,833
I'm free too.
390
00:21:46,833 --> 00:21:48,625
I want to go too.
391
00:21:48,625 --> 00:21:50,791
You two! Who's in the chair?
392
00:21:52,083 --> 00:21:53,458
You're chief now?
393
00:21:54,041 --> 00:21:55,916
Discussion over. It's no.
394
00:21:55,916 --> 00:21:57,916
Are you out of your mind?
395
00:21:58,625 --> 00:22:00,208
Some village chief!
396
00:22:00,708 --> 00:22:02,583
Ignoring a damsel's tears.
397
00:22:02,583 --> 00:22:04,583
- Mimenta...
- Don't Mimenta me!
398
00:22:04,583 --> 00:22:07,458
- Welcome our Chinese friends!
- Yup.
399
00:22:08,041 --> 00:22:09,083
You and your Gaul!
400
00:22:09,833 --> 00:22:11,375
All because it's too far?
401
00:22:11,375 --> 00:22:13,208
As if you'd be going!
402
00:22:14,583 --> 00:22:17,000
No, it's Asterix and Obelix, as usual.
403
00:22:18,583 --> 00:22:20,958
If some idiot writes our history one day,
404
00:22:20,958 --> 00:22:24,416
the title will never be
The Adventures of Vitalstatistix the Gaul.
405
00:22:24,416 --> 00:22:26,166
Dogmatix travels more than you.
406
00:22:27,000 --> 00:22:28,125
Hear that, Dogmatix?
407
00:22:30,916 --> 00:22:32,125
Stones fired!
408
00:22:32,125 --> 00:22:35,541
Magic potion for the boys
in the village, you're in.
409
00:22:35,541 --> 00:22:38,000
But anything more delicate, you're out?
410
00:22:47,208 --> 00:22:48,208
All right, go.
411
00:22:51,291 --> 00:22:53,041
Thank you. Heartfelt thanks.
412
00:22:53,833 --> 00:22:57,333
So you're starting on a journey
413
00:22:58,166 --> 00:23:00,416
So we're parting tonight
414
00:23:02,458 --> 00:23:03,750
My heart has turned to...
415
00:23:03,750 --> 00:23:04,791
jelly
416
00:23:13,416 --> 00:23:17,375
Meanwhile, in the eternal,
beautifully irrigated city of Rome,
417
00:23:17,375 --> 00:23:20,500
Julius Caesar, in his magnificent palace,
418
00:23:20,500 --> 00:23:23,958
lives in domestic bliss
with the powerful Queen of Egypt,
419
00:23:23,958 --> 00:23:26,583
sublime, dulcet Cleopatra.
420
00:23:26,583 --> 00:23:28,250
I've had it up to here!
421
00:23:28,250 --> 00:23:31,125
Know what? I've had it up to here!
422
00:23:36,416 --> 00:23:37,875
May I ask what you're doing?
423
00:23:37,875 --> 00:23:40,416
Packing my trunks and heading home.
424
00:23:40,416 --> 00:23:42,125
Why didn't I listen to Mummy?
425
00:23:43,625 --> 00:23:46,458
Now it's over, I can tell you.
There's another man.
426
00:23:46,458 --> 00:23:47,916
What do you mean?
427
00:23:49,541 --> 00:23:51,000
You can't be serious.
428
00:23:52,333 --> 00:23:54,416
What do you mean, another man?
429
00:23:55,083 --> 00:23:57,791
What is this? Infidelitatis?
430
00:23:57,791 --> 00:23:58,750
Nailed it.
431
00:24:00,875 --> 00:24:01,791
And...
432
00:24:03,333 --> 00:24:06,208
May I ask
for whom you leave mighty Caesar?
433
00:24:07,583 --> 00:24:08,791
Tabascos!
434
00:24:10,125 --> 00:24:10,958
Tabascos?
435
00:24:10,958 --> 00:24:12,083
The Greek?
436
00:24:15,708 --> 00:24:17,791
Tabascos the Greek!
437
00:24:17,791 --> 00:24:20,750
So you'd leave mighty Caesar
438
00:24:22,333 --> 00:24:24,291
to shack up with a gym teacher?
439
00:24:25,916 --> 00:24:28,708
Well, we'll discuss this after the lions.
440
00:24:29,708 --> 00:24:31,666
I forbid you to harm him.
441
00:24:32,708 --> 00:24:34,291
I love him, you hear?
442
00:24:35,041 --> 00:24:36,000
You love him?
443
00:24:37,416 --> 00:24:38,625
You love him?
444
00:24:40,166 --> 00:24:41,458
What's he got that I don't?
445
00:24:41,458 --> 00:24:43,791
He's an international gymnast.
446
00:24:43,791 --> 00:24:46,375
Outside Rome and Gaul,
you're a complete unknown.
447
00:24:48,500 --> 00:24:50,583
A complete unknown? Julius Caesar?
448
00:24:51,208 --> 00:24:55,000
Fine. You have international ambitions?
Go with your athlete.
449
00:24:55,000 --> 00:24:57,666
{\an8}Let the Greek tsat your ziki!
450
00:24:59,375 --> 00:25:01,208
May I, O Caesar?
451
00:25:01,208 --> 00:25:03,958
Minor marital contretemps. All settled.
452
00:25:04,750 --> 00:25:08,750
Speak, Slius Foxxus,
devious and unsightly advisor of mine.
453
00:25:08,750 --> 00:25:09,666
Ave, Caesar!
454
00:25:09,666 --> 00:25:12,458
Your perspicacity captures me perfectly.
455
00:25:20,750 --> 00:25:22,625
May I introduce Scar Dee Kat,
456
00:25:22,625 --> 00:25:27,083
envoy of Prince Deng Tsin Quin,
the new master of China.
457
00:25:27,083 --> 00:25:30,750
How does an empire so big
have an advisor so small?
458
00:25:31,333 --> 00:25:34,041
Size doesn't matter, skill does, Caesar.
459
00:25:34,041 --> 00:25:35,791
Some men have neither.
460
00:25:39,041 --> 00:25:40,208
She's a looker.
461
00:25:40,708 --> 00:25:41,583
Well, half-pint?
462
00:25:41,583 --> 00:25:45,625
I come to offer you
the riches of my adopted land
463
00:25:45,625 --> 00:25:48,125
in return for modest military support.
464
00:25:48,125 --> 00:25:51,750
Your land? Even great Alexander
abandoned the conquest of China.
465
00:25:51,750 --> 00:25:55,833
A great opportunity to expand my empire.
Your empire, O Caesar!
466
00:25:55,833 --> 00:25:58,041
I have conquered enough.
467
00:25:58,041 --> 00:26:01,416
My name will go down
in the annals of history.
468
00:26:01,416 --> 00:26:04,125
I love when you say that. Love it!
469
00:26:04,125 --> 00:26:06,458
What a way with words. Right?
470
00:26:06,458 --> 00:26:08,583
Biopix, my Gallician biographer.
471
00:26:08,583 --> 00:26:12,708
How inspiring is the fabulous tale
of almighty Caesar!
472
00:26:12,708 --> 00:26:14,208
Vade retro, both of you.
473
00:26:14,208 --> 00:26:15,833
Caesar, may I point out,
474
00:26:15,833 --> 00:26:17,625
in terms of going down in history,
475
00:26:18,125 --> 00:26:20,208
in China, you are unknown.
476
00:26:20,208 --> 00:26:21,791
What was I saying?
477
00:26:23,166 --> 00:26:25,041
That's quite enough!
478
00:26:26,458 --> 00:26:28,958
I, Julius Caesar,
man of a thousand conquests?
479
00:26:28,958 --> 00:26:30,333
Unknown?
480
00:26:30,333 --> 00:26:31,416
Alas!
481
00:26:43,250 --> 00:26:44,791
He speaks the truth.
482
00:26:44,791 --> 00:26:46,041
In China, at least.
483
00:26:46,041 --> 00:26:48,458
It's all good, don't worry.
484
00:26:48,958 --> 00:26:52,500
Scar Dee Kat, step forward
to discuss our alliance
485
00:26:53,000 --> 00:26:54,041
with your land
486
00:26:54,041 --> 00:26:56,333
that will soon know my name!
487
00:26:58,666 --> 00:27:02,166
Explain clearly.
Be sure not to toss Caesar a salad.
488
00:27:06,458 --> 00:27:09,000
I swapped your clunker
for something tougher.
489
00:27:09,000 --> 00:27:12,291
That's what I call a chariot. Unbeatable!
On loan from cousin Turbo.
490
00:27:12,875 --> 00:27:14,208
I added boar stomachs.
491
00:27:15,416 --> 00:27:17,916
A kind of air cushion to absorb shocks.
492
00:27:19,000 --> 00:27:20,125
The sunroof!
493
00:27:21,416 --> 00:27:22,583
You know what?
494
00:27:22,583 --> 00:27:24,041
I made a perfect chariot.
495
00:27:24,541 --> 00:27:25,458
Magnificent.
496
00:27:29,916 --> 00:27:30,791
Let's go!
497
00:27:32,416 --> 00:27:34,458
Princess, if you'd care to board.
498
00:27:38,708 --> 00:27:39,541
Too bad.
499
00:27:41,458 --> 00:27:42,791
We'll have a great trip.
500
00:27:44,625 --> 00:27:48,041
Asterix, I made you
a flask of magic potion,
501
00:27:48,041 --> 00:27:51,375
but Obelix tells me
you don't need it, so I...
502
00:27:51,375 --> 00:27:53,250
No, that's fine.
503
00:27:56,125 --> 00:27:57,291
But just in case.
504
00:27:58,875 --> 00:28:00,208
I'm cutting down.
505
00:28:00,208 --> 00:28:02,625
Watch out, I beefed it up.
506
00:28:08,791 --> 00:28:09,875
You had some?
507
00:28:11,125 --> 00:28:12,791
No, just a quick taste.
508
00:28:12,791 --> 00:28:14,166
Just to see.
509
00:28:16,875 --> 00:28:18,125
Good luck, Princess.
510
00:28:18,875 --> 00:28:19,750
As for you two,
511
00:28:20,250 --> 00:28:22,166
be brave, reckless
512
00:28:22,166 --> 00:28:24,666
and disingenuous. In a word...
513
00:28:25,166 --> 00:28:26,166
Be Gauls!
514
00:28:28,291 --> 00:28:29,333
Hold on tight.
515
00:28:29,833 --> 00:28:32,666
It'll be much faster than on the way here.
516
00:28:35,375 --> 00:28:37,791
Sorry but can I just point out,
517
00:28:38,458 --> 00:28:42,375
the bard's role is
to celebrate heroes and their exploits?
518
00:28:43,833 --> 00:28:46,083
If I never travel, what am I?
519
00:28:47,583 --> 00:28:48,500
Excellent idea.
520
00:28:49,416 --> 00:28:50,958
Cacophonix will go with...
521
00:28:56,000 --> 00:28:57,541
They forgot me.
522
00:28:58,375 --> 00:29:01,333
They forgot me!
523
00:29:06,916 --> 00:29:10,250
And so, at high speed,
our friends head south,
524
00:29:10,250 --> 00:29:13,833
favouring the maritime route that,
according to Getafix,
525
00:29:13,833 --> 00:29:15,833
is faster than the Silk Road.
526
00:29:16,583 --> 00:29:19,291
Having rowed across the Mediterranean,
527
00:29:19,291 --> 00:29:20,666
thanks to Obelix,
528
00:29:20,666 --> 00:29:22,875
they reach northern Africa.
529
00:29:29,458 --> 00:29:30,958
Rub and wring.
530
00:29:31,541 --> 00:29:33,416
Ka Ra Tay, I asked to learn kung fu.
531
00:29:36,291 --> 00:29:37,416
Rub...
532
00:29:38,458 --> 00:29:39,625
and wring.
533
00:29:46,583 --> 00:29:47,791
No, not again.
534
00:29:49,375 --> 00:29:51,291
All good? Enjoying the show?
535
00:29:51,291 --> 00:29:54,083
Want a beer? A chair? Coming right up.
536
00:29:55,208 --> 00:29:57,833
Not coming up! What are you doing?
537
00:29:57,833 --> 00:29:58,958
Same as you.
538
00:29:58,958 --> 00:30:00,791
She knows you peep?
539
00:30:00,791 --> 00:30:02,166
I might tell her.
540
00:30:05,875 --> 00:30:06,708
Sublime!
541
00:30:07,625 --> 00:30:09,416
She's learning to do laundry
542
00:30:09,416 --> 00:30:12,958
to prepare for her new, tougher life
in Gaul with me.
543
00:30:13,958 --> 00:30:16,708
A Chinese princess in Gaul?
With those hicks?
544
00:30:16,708 --> 00:30:17,791
Don't make me laugh.
545
00:30:18,291 --> 00:30:21,375
When I say Sa See and I are together,
you turn Deaf?
546
00:30:21,375 --> 00:30:24,708
- You're not together.
- We are together. Six months now.
547
00:30:24,708 --> 00:30:25,791
Really?
548
00:30:26,416 --> 00:30:27,666
No way!
549
00:30:27,666 --> 00:30:29,583
My friends, once and for all,
550
00:30:29,583 --> 00:30:32,625
Sa See and I are serious.
It's love. And marriage.
551
00:30:33,875 --> 00:30:35,958
- Congrats, Bankruptis.
- Thank you.
552
00:30:35,958 --> 00:30:37,791
I love weddings. Love them.
553
00:30:37,791 --> 00:30:39,708
- With a banquet?
- Of course.
554
00:30:39,708 --> 00:30:42,000
Know what? You'll be my best man.
555
00:30:43,000 --> 00:30:45,125
Thank you. I was never anyone's best man.
556
00:30:45,125 --> 00:30:48,125
Can you stop being so gullible?
557
00:30:48,125 --> 00:30:49,416
It gets annoying.
558
00:30:49,416 --> 00:30:52,041
- If they're in love, don't blame me.
- Yup.
559
00:30:52,041 --> 00:30:53,583
They're not in love.
560
00:30:53,583 --> 00:30:56,125
If Sa See isn't with anyone,
she's with no one.
561
00:30:56,125 --> 00:30:57,333
It's on.
562
00:30:57,333 --> 00:31:00,583
I can't wait to see her face
when I tell her
563
00:31:01,333 --> 00:31:03,541
you're a phony Gaul and fake blonde.
564
00:31:03,541 --> 00:31:07,958
Yeah? Well, I can't wait to see her face
when I tell her your moustache...
565
00:31:07,958 --> 00:31:09,458
What about it?
566
00:31:09,458 --> 00:31:10,708
Your moustache...
567
00:31:11,875 --> 00:31:12,916
sucks.
568
00:31:16,166 --> 00:31:17,083
So lame.
569
00:31:19,916 --> 00:31:20,833
I went too far.
570
00:31:20,833 --> 00:31:22,083
Not the moustache!
571
00:31:22,083 --> 00:31:23,666
I know, but he pushes me.
572
00:31:23,666 --> 00:31:25,541
Sure but not the moustache!
573
00:31:26,541 --> 00:31:27,458
What's he doing?
574
00:31:28,208 --> 00:31:30,458
Unbelievable! He's snitching on us!
575
00:31:30,458 --> 00:31:32,583
He's something else, your friend!
576
00:31:32,583 --> 00:31:33,625
She's coming our way.
577
00:31:36,375 --> 00:31:37,250
What's up?
578
00:31:37,250 --> 00:31:40,625
Nothing. We're just looking for a date.
579
00:31:41,666 --> 00:31:42,875
For the wedding.
580
00:31:42,875 --> 00:31:44,666
No, to eat. The fruit!
581
00:31:44,666 --> 00:31:45,708
At the wedding.
582
00:31:45,708 --> 00:31:47,083
No, to eat here.
583
00:31:47,083 --> 00:31:48,166
I'm the best man!
584
00:31:48,750 --> 00:31:51,333
He's impossible. He talks nonsense.
585
00:31:52,750 --> 00:31:53,875
Yes, let's go.
586
00:31:56,041 --> 00:31:58,041
Is it so hard to let me do the talking?
587
00:32:04,250 --> 00:32:05,750
'Night, Smartypants!
588
00:32:07,291 --> 00:32:08,875
'Night, Two-Faced Friend!
589
00:32:10,458 --> 00:32:11,666
'Night, Veggie Lover!
590
00:32:12,250 --> 00:32:14,916
Veggies are yummy. So yummy!
591
00:32:14,916 --> 00:32:16,625
'Night, Fake Blonde!
592
00:32:16,625 --> 00:32:19,125
Can't you just say goodnight?
593
00:32:20,166 --> 00:32:21,208
It was him.
594
00:32:21,208 --> 00:32:22,541
'Night, Ka Ra Tay.
595
00:32:28,791 --> 00:32:30,916
You think Mother's still alive?
596
00:32:30,916 --> 00:32:34,375
The Empress is
the daughter of the heavens.
597
00:32:34,875 --> 00:32:36,083
No harm can come to her.
598
00:32:39,916 --> 00:32:42,291
'Night, I'm In Love and can't admit it!
599
00:32:42,291 --> 00:32:46,083
'Night, Poppycock
who's so fat that he's all belly!
600
00:32:46,083 --> 00:32:49,875
'Night, Lonesome Gaul,
so alone like a tiny insect!
601
00:32:50,375 --> 00:32:52,041
- Enough!
- Yes.
602
00:32:52,041 --> 00:32:53,041
Sorry.
603
00:33:13,333 --> 00:33:15,875
Hello, how are you?
604
00:33:15,875 --> 00:33:17,250
Good trip?
605
00:33:33,083 --> 00:33:36,166
Your daughter's vanished.
We looked too long in a land too big.
606
00:33:36,166 --> 00:33:38,791
Hello perhaps? There's two of us.
607
00:33:38,791 --> 00:33:42,250
When military support arrives,
off with your head.
608
00:33:42,250 --> 00:33:46,666
I remember now.
You're the guy who loves beheading folks.
609
00:33:46,666 --> 00:33:47,750
You too, merchant.
610
00:33:48,333 --> 00:33:51,041
No, leave me out of this.
We really need to...
611
00:33:51,041 --> 00:33:52,458
Balls for you!
612
00:33:57,416 --> 00:33:58,458
Day one.
613
00:33:59,083 --> 00:34:02,250
When no balls are left,
if the princess won't show,
614
00:34:03,916 --> 00:34:04,750
you two...
615
00:34:07,625 --> 00:34:08,791
We have two lives.
616
00:34:08,791 --> 00:34:11,875
The second begins
when we see we have only one.
617
00:34:13,541 --> 00:34:14,500
I thank you.
618
00:34:18,333 --> 00:34:20,250
That's what I call an Empress.
619
00:34:20,833 --> 00:34:21,708
Love it.
620
00:34:21,708 --> 00:34:24,458
We have two lives and it ends when...
621
00:34:24,458 --> 00:34:26,708
The second life begins with...
622
00:34:28,291 --> 00:34:31,125
We have two lives and when they begin...
623
00:34:31,958 --> 00:34:32,958
I thank you.
624
00:34:39,750 --> 00:34:40,708
Meanwhile,
625
00:34:40,708 --> 00:34:43,708
Caesar, his immense army and Scar Dee Kat
626
00:34:43,708 --> 00:34:47,375
travel the Silk Road,
headed at top speed for China.
627
00:34:47,375 --> 00:34:48,541
Or almost.
628
00:34:50,125 --> 00:34:51,333
This is the Silk Road?
629
00:34:51,333 --> 00:34:53,750
We're lost, aren't we? Just admit it.
630
00:34:54,416 --> 00:34:56,458
Woopsus, what is this route?
631
00:34:56,458 --> 00:34:59,250
At least 9,000 men struck northwards.
632
00:34:59,250 --> 00:35:00,916
I can't work like this.
633
00:35:00,916 --> 00:35:02,416
It's just impossible!
634
00:35:03,208 --> 00:35:05,041
Join the army, they said!
635
00:35:09,208 --> 00:35:11,416
Woopsus, your call, left or right?
636
00:35:11,416 --> 00:35:13,500
Easy-peasy papyrus, Caesar. Left.
637
00:35:13,500 --> 00:35:14,750
So we'll go right.
638
00:35:15,291 --> 00:35:18,333
Sorry, will this go on long?
Left-right, right-left...
639
00:35:18,333 --> 00:35:21,041
We'll reach China on the 12th of Never.
640
00:35:21,041 --> 00:35:22,500
The upstart!
641
00:35:22,500 --> 00:35:24,291
Hail! Risklus, imperial security.
642
00:35:25,000 --> 00:35:26,750
Risklus, imperial security.
643
00:35:28,625 --> 00:35:32,416
Risklus! Everyone knows you here.
Where is Antivirus?
644
00:35:32,416 --> 00:35:34,625
Still on the campaign in Milan.
645
00:35:34,625 --> 00:35:36,583
He's not reading my pigeons.
646
00:35:38,250 --> 00:35:39,500
Caesar, I'm here.
647
00:35:40,458 --> 00:35:43,250
- It's not the same.
- Not at all the same.
648
00:35:43,250 --> 00:35:44,500
What do you want?
649
00:35:45,041 --> 00:35:48,583
Almighty Caesar,
Carioca, head dancer, wants an audience.
650
00:35:48,583 --> 00:35:51,416
She has demands. For respect or something.
651
00:35:51,416 --> 00:35:52,375
I beat her?
652
00:35:53,125 --> 00:35:54,000
Are you nuts?
653
00:35:54,708 --> 00:35:55,750
Show her in.
654
00:35:59,166 --> 00:36:00,000
Tapioca!
655
00:36:06,500 --> 00:36:08,625
So, Carioca, what do you want?
656
00:36:08,625 --> 00:36:12,583
Caesar, we received new outfits
and what do we see?
657
00:36:12,583 --> 00:36:14,750
Shorter than ever. What a surprise!
658
00:36:16,250 --> 00:36:19,500
If you want go-go taverns,
Rome is full of them.
659
00:36:20,083 --> 00:36:21,541
I'm sure I have no idea.
660
00:36:21,541 --> 00:36:24,208
Sure! The Palladium near the market.
661
00:36:24,208 --> 00:36:26,083
Or there's Sternum, or Scrotum.
662
00:36:26,083 --> 00:36:27,166
Right...
663
00:36:28,208 --> 00:36:31,500
So, what do you want?
Longer outfits for your dancers?
664
00:36:31,500 --> 00:36:32,583
It's a start.
665
00:36:32,583 --> 00:36:36,875
And let's talk about
the role of women in Roman society.
666
00:36:36,875 --> 00:36:40,041
Look closely and it's all about men here.
667
00:36:40,041 --> 00:36:41,791
Gladiators? Men.
668
00:36:41,791 --> 00:36:43,291
Senators? Men only.
669
00:36:43,291 --> 00:36:44,916
Legionaries? Men only.
670
00:36:44,916 --> 00:36:46,541
Caesars? Men only.
671
00:36:47,041 --> 00:36:48,333
You want a Julia Caesar?
672
00:36:52,500 --> 00:36:54,250
You want Rome run by a woman?
673
00:36:56,666 --> 00:36:57,541
I see.
674
00:37:06,000 --> 00:37:07,750
Back to our friends.
675
00:37:07,750 --> 00:37:12,833
After crossing the Egyptian desert
in sweltering heat,
676
00:37:12,833 --> 00:37:16,708
they reach the Red Sea
and the city of Klysma,
677
00:37:16,708 --> 00:37:20,750
a small Egyptian port,
later known as Suez.
678
00:37:20,750 --> 00:37:22,083
Yes, like the canal.
679
00:37:28,208 --> 00:37:31,875
If we want a captain,
I guarantee we'll find one here.
680
00:37:32,541 --> 00:37:35,375
Look, Asterix,
the tavern's called Little Lutetia.
681
00:37:35,375 --> 00:37:41,916
Dare to come and cast the first stone
682
00:37:45,125 --> 00:37:47,666
To fall for one head over heels
683
00:37:47,666 --> 00:37:49,583
leaves a wound that never heals
684
00:37:49,583 --> 00:37:53,791
But the love you feel is the real deal
685
00:37:56,916 --> 00:37:59,541
So don't be harsh or disapprove
686
00:38:00,208 --> 00:38:03,041
When a woman falls in love
687
00:38:05,000 --> 00:38:07,375
- You don't know it.
- I know it by heart.
688
00:38:07,375 --> 00:38:10,083
With a man who sweeps her off her feet
689
00:38:16,458 --> 00:38:18,166
See? That's Gaul for you!
690
00:38:18,166 --> 00:38:19,666
I love this place.
691
00:38:19,666 --> 00:38:22,125
Exactly how I pictured Lutetia.
692
00:38:24,083 --> 00:38:25,083
Same here.
693
00:38:30,041 --> 00:38:32,458
That's so good! You're a Gaul for sure.
694
00:38:32,458 --> 00:38:34,750
Yes, duckie. Born and bred.
695
00:38:34,750 --> 00:38:37,625
- You've lived here long?
- Donkey's years.
696
00:38:37,625 --> 00:38:39,750
I had a small cabaret in Lutetia.
697
00:38:39,750 --> 00:38:43,666
A hotspot, raking it in,
but I fell for a fella,
698
00:38:43,666 --> 00:38:46,083
a lowlife who wanted me as his floozy.
699
00:38:46,083 --> 00:38:48,041
And to clean me out!
700
00:38:48,875 --> 00:38:51,416
So who took her dosh
and hightailed it here?
701
00:38:51,416 --> 00:38:53,875
Yours truly. Tipsy, that's me!
702
00:38:54,708 --> 00:38:56,500
What brings you blondies here?
703
00:38:56,500 --> 00:38:58,875
Looking for the best ship's captain.
704
00:38:59,916 --> 00:39:01,125
He's your man. Titanix!
705
00:39:03,208 --> 00:39:04,083
He's reliable?
706
00:39:04,583 --> 00:39:07,375
Titanix is top-notch. Unsinkable!
707
00:39:08,500 --> 00:39:09,583
Thanks for your help, Tipsy.
708
00:39:09,583 --> 00:39:11,041
Anything for a Gaul!
709
00:39:12,041 --> 00:39:13,708
Normally, mutts stay outside.
710
00:39:13,708 --> 00:39:15,333
But you're a real cutie.
711
00:39:21,791 --> 00:39:24,166
We're looking for a boat to China.
712
00:39:24,166 --> 00:39:27,000
China by sea? Too much hassle.
713
00:39:27,833 --> 00:39:29,333
Here's what I got for you.
714
00:39:29,333 --> 00:39:31,208
A quick visit of the coves of Klysma,
715
00:39:31,208 --> 00:39:34,375
all-you-can-eat and swimming,
plus the sunset.
716
00:39:35,666 --> 00:39:36,500
Tasty.
717
00:39:38,083 --> 00:39:39,541
Another time.
718
00:39:39,541 --> 00:39:41,750
This is worth more than your boat.
719
00:39:42,708 --> 00:39:44,291
Why didn't you say so?
720
00:39:44,875 --> 00:39:45,916
So how's it...
721
00:39:45,916 --> 00:39:48,958
You think I'll stand by
and let you extort me?
722
00:39:48,958 --> 00:39:51,416
Get out before I get out my cudgel!
723
00:39:51,416 --> 00:39:54,125
Tipsy's steaming up. Trouble ahoy.
724
00:39:54,125 --> 00:39:55,375
A problem, Tipsy?
725
00:39:55,375 --> 00:39:57,958
These gents want to dip into my pockets.
726
00:39:57,958 --> 00:40:01,916
They'll get a dose of their own medicine.
Nobody messes with Tipsy.
727
00:40:03,250 --> 00:40:05,541
Lightweights! Fooling with a Gaul.
728
00:40:05,541 --> 00:40:07,208
What do you want with the lady?
729
00:40:08,833 --> 00:40:09,750
You're the lightweight.
730
00:40:15,166 --> 00:40:16,166
Screwy.
731
00:40:16,166 --> 00:40:17,458
Princess, in Gaul,
732
00:40:17,458 --> 00:40:20,166
when heavyweights run their mouths off,
733
00:40:21,041 --> 00:40:23,541
flyweights don't listen.
734
00:40:51,125 --> 00:40:52,125
He's a lizard!
735
00:41:00,291 --> 00:41:01,125
What is this?
736
00:41:12,416 --> 00:41:15,291
A very, very strong batch. He overdid it.
737
00:41:16,208 --> 00:41:18,166
Give me a drop. No one will know.
738
00:41:18,166 --> 00:41:19,291
No chance.
739
00:41:23,208 --> 00:41:24,875
One's yours. Take your pick.
740
00:41:25,458 --> 00:41:26,833
The big guy, I guess.
741
00:41:29,916 --> 00:41:31,000
Gentlemen...
742
00:41:40,416 --> 00:41:43,916
I'm not allowed it
ever since I fell in as a kid.
743
00:41:44,416 --> 00:41:45,708
So it will hurt less.
744
00:42:04,791 --> 00:42:08,000
Imagine a mini-amphora
with two wings painted on it,
745
00:42:08,000 --> 00:42:10,125
containing a drop of magic potion.
746
00:42:10,125 --> 00:42:12,041
A kind of pick-me-up.
747
00:42:12,041 --> 00:42:14,833
We market it as an invigorating drink...
748
00:42:14,833 --> 00:42:17,250
I'll come up with a name for it.
749
00:42:17,750 --> 00:42:22,333
In Rome, with all the orgies
and kids dancing through the night,
750
00:42:22,333 --> 00:42:23,625
we'll make a killing.
751
00:42:23,625 --> 00:42:26,458
Count me in. I'll handle transport.
752
00:42:27,541 --> 00:42:28,583
What's that?
753
00:42:29,166 --> 00:42:30,375
It's tai chi.
754
00:42:30,375 --> 00:42:33,333
An ancestral technique
to boost the body's energy.
755
00:42:34,333 --> 00:42:36,291
It's crazy, us meeting now.
756
00:42:36,291 --> 00:42:39,666
My new lifestyle's
so in step with your culture.
757
00:42:40,291 --> 00:42:43,208
Balance, nutrition, energies, everything!
758
00:42:44,166 --> 00:42:45,708
The two of us are so connected.
759
00:42:51,625 --> 00:42:53,375
- Done?
- Meditation.
760
00:42:53,375 --> 00:42:55,166
- Great!
- No talking!
761
00:43:01,375 --> 00:43:02,666
It's a fine coin.
762
00:43:05,416 --> 00:43:06,416
That's you?
763
00:43:07,083 --> 00:43:09,625
Yes. A gift from my mother.
764
00:43:10,791 --> 00:43:11,833
That's real love.
765
00:43:15,208 --> 00:43:16,500
When I received it,
766
00:43:17,416 --> 00:43:18,333
I didn't smile.
767
00:43:19,458 --> 00:43:20,916
Don't worry, Princess.
768
00:43:21,416 --> 00:43:23,125
I'll rescue your mother.
769
00:43:24,208 --> 00:43:25,083
I'm here for you.
770
00:43:26,291 --> 00:43:27,875
Quick correction, sorry.
771
00:43:27,875 --> 00:43:29,458
We are here for you.
772
00:43:29,458 --> 00:43:33,083
Some of us were here for you
from the start of the adventure.
773
00:43:34,083 --> 00:43:35,416
Excuse me.
774
00:43:35,416 --> 00:43:36,791
Princess...
775
00:43:42,583 --> 00:43:43,708
What are you doing?
776
00:43:43,708 --> 00:43:45,500
That was two balls!
777
00:43:45,500 --> 00:43:47,333
Put one back. That was two balls!
778
00:43:47,333 --> 00:43:50,041
Put one back. Don't screw me on the balls.
779
00:43:50,041 --> 00:43:51,666
It's extra jailtime for me.
780
00:43:53,208 --> 00:43:55,291
By the way, did you think over
781
00:43:56,666 --> 00:43:57,541
my offer?
782
00:44:00,500 --> 00:44:02,041
Playing hard to get.
783
00:44:02,541 --> 00:44:05,416
I'm used to tough negotiations, though.
784
00:44:05,416 --> 00:44:07,208
- Ekonomikrisis...
- Yes?
785
00:44:07,208 --> 00:44:08,958
If we get out one day,
786
00:44:09,458 --> 00:44:11,833
would you like to keep trading in China?
787
00:44:12,333 --> 00:44:14,333
- Sure.
- So shut up.
788
00:44:16,250 --> 00:44:18,458
They put us together to torture me.
789
00:44:19,125 --> 00:44:20,375
Let's not exaggerate.
790
00:44:21,583 --> 00:44:22,916
Perhaps it's...
791
00:44:23,625 --> 00:44:25,208
destiny bringing us together.
792
00:44:25,708 --> 00:44:27,458
Maktub, as they say back home.
793
00:44:28,708 --> 00:44:31,125
You're very beautiful in a temper.
794
00:44:50,000 --> 00:44:50,833
Gents!
795
00:44:50,833 --> 00:44:53,666
Here, on the Red Sea,
no more fatal encounters!
796
00:44:53,666 --> 00:44:56,166
Who are the predators here?
797
00:44:56,166 --> 00:44:57,916
- We are!
- Bang on!
798
00:44:59,458 --> 00:45:01,708
Ship ahoy!
799
00:45:02,833 --> 00:45:03,916
Thanks, lookout!
800
00:45:03,916 --> 00:45:05,041
Just doing my job!
801
00:45:05,041 --> 00:45:08,000
No lavish ship will escape us.
802
00:45:08,000 --> 00:45:09,333
We sleep tonight in silk!
803
00:45:24,541 --> 00:45:25,375
The Gauls?
804
00:45:25,375 --> 00:45:27,791
It's the Gauls!
805
00:45:30,500 --> 00:45:31,666
Peek-a-boo!
806
00:45:32,166 --> 00:45:33,083
Hi, guys!
807
00:45:37,875 --> 00:45:39,083
Not the Gauls!
808
00:45:39,083 --> 00:45:40,083
Why us?
809
00:45:41,541 --> 00:45:42,833
There are other ships.
810
00:45:43,750 --> 00:45:46,166
Morning, could you pretend not to see us?
811
00:45:46,166 --> 00:45:47,750
But we have seen you.
812
00:45:47,750 --> 00:45:49,125
That's fair.
813
00:45:50,250 --> 00:45:51,291
Prepare our defences!
814
00:45:51,291 --> 00:45:52,375
Let's go!
815
00:45:56,916 --> 00:45:58,833
Freshly painted too!
816
00:45:59,333 --> 00:46:00,708
Watch out now!
817
00:46:05,458 --> 00:46:07,125
Don't think I enjoy it.
818
00:46:08,416 --> 00:46:09,500
No, wait.
819
00:46:10,458 --> 00:46:11,958
Watch some Chinese fighting.
820
00:46:30,333 --> 00:46:31,583
What now, skipper?
821
00:46:33,000 --> 00:46:34,208
I'm not feeling it.
822
00:46:34,208 --> 00:46:36,166
Let's go anyway. Attack!
823
00:46:40,000 --> 00:46:41,208
No, go back!
824
00:46:41,208 --> 00:46:42,791
Michel, go on!
825
00:46:57,166 --> 00:46:58,625
That's gotta hurt.
826
00:47:06,916 --> 00:47:08,208
That's too many feet!
827
00:47:09,583 --> 00:47:10,875
Let me through.
828
00:47:14,625 --> 00:47:15,875
Sorry, skipper.
829
00:47:15,875 --> 00:47:17,208
Where you going?
830
00:47:17,208 --> 00:47:18,875
Going out like a prince.
831
00:47:20,208 --> 00:47:21,708
Behind you!
832
00:47:26,125 --> 00:47:27,916
Cool it, crazywoman!
833
00:48:08,375 --> 00:48:09,250
Comrades,
834
00:48:09,750 --> 00:48:11,916
official reason for us sinking,
835
00:48:11,916 --> 00:48:14,041
we ran into a Chinese tornado.
836
00:48:24,000 --> 00:48:25,000
May I?
837
00:48:25,583 --> 00:48:26,458
Yes.
838
00:48:30,416 --> 00:48:31,375
Beautiful.
839
00:48:32,958 --> 00:48:34,250
I wanted to say,
840
00:48:34,916 --> 00:48:36,416
you fight fabulously.
841
00:48:37,333 --> 00:48:38,333
Thank you.
842
00:48:39,500 --> 00:48:41,875
How come you never use the potion?
843
00:48:41,875 --> 00:48:43,125
I'm not allowed to.
844
00:48:45,083 --> 00:48:47,833
Dangerous, apparently. One shot too many.
845
00:48:50,500 --> 00:48:53,583
I'd love to feel that kick
just one more time.
846
00:49:43,291 --> 00:49:44,458
Obelix?
847
00:49:46,416 --> 00:49:47,416
Mummy!
848
00:49:52,875 --> 00:49:54,375
The feeling is extraordinary.
849
00:49:54,875 --> 00:49:57,375
Fizzing through your head and body.
A bit like...
850
00:49:57,375 --> 00:49:59,125
falling in love, so I hear.
851
00:50:25,875 --> 00:50:28,291
Having found their way again at last,
852
00:50:28,791 --> 00:50:31,041
Caesar and his powerful army
853
00:50:31,041 --> 00:50:34,375
cross Persia, the mountains of India,
854
00:50:34,375 --> 00:50:36,125
the Mongolian steppes,
855
00:50:36,125 --> 00:50:38,791
and finally reach the gates of China,
856
00:50:38,791 --> 00:50:41,125
where the formidable Deng Tsin Quin
857
00:50:41,125 --> 00:50:43,208
is perfecting his dastardly plan
858
00:50:43,208 --> 00:50:45,375
to conquer all six kingdoms.
859
00:50:52,291 --> 00:50:53,208
Ave!
860
00:50:53,708 --> 00:50:54,666
This is the war?
861
00:50:54,666 --> 00:50:55,958
Prince Deng Tsin Quin,
862
00:50:55,958 --> 00:50:57,541
allow me to introduce...
863
00:50:58,041 --> 00:51:01,666
Julius Caesar himself.
Impressive, I know, but deep breaths
864
00:51:01,666 --> 00:51:03,250
and everything will be fine.
865
00:51:03,791 --> 00:51:06,791
So where are these rebels
you can't keep in check?
866
00:51:06,791 --> 00:51:10,166
War's a full-time job.
Good idea to call in the professionals.
867
00:51:12,083 --> 00:51:13,833
Aren't you overthinking it?
868
00:51:13,833 --> 00:51:16,166
No, simply following Sun Tzu,
869
00:51:16,750 --> 00:51:18,208
the greatest Chinese strategist,
870
00:51:18,208 --> 00:51:19,791
who wrote
The Art of War.
871
00:51:20,500 --> 00:51:21,708
The Fart is Raw?
872
00:51:23,333 --> 00:51:27,333
Anyway, shrimps, keep those eyes open.
We'll make short work of this.
873
00:51:28,166 --> 00:51:30,666
{\an8}- All right. If you want peace...
- Prepare for war.
874
00:51:30,666 --> 00:51:31,708
{\an8}Exactly!
875
00:51:33,041 --> 00:51:34,208
He's hard work.
876
00:51:34,208 --> 00:51:35,416
A maniac.
877
00:51:35,416 --> 00:51:38,583
Mega-pretentious, too.
First decan cancer. The pits.
878
00:51:39,291 --> 00:51:41,916
I had no idea. I need sleep. Chariot-lag.
879
00:51:46,208 --> 00:51:47,875
Biopix, new chapter.
880
00:51:47,875 --> 00:51:50,500
After
Caesar the Seducer,
881
00:51:51,166 --> 00:51:52,541
Caesar the Strategist.
882
00:51:52,541 --> 00:51:55,166
Hold on, change of scroll
and I'm all yours.
883
00:51:55,166 --> 00:51:56,916
- Helmet!
- Gallopus!
884
00:52:08,541 --> 00:52:09,541
Sword!
885
00:52:13,125 --> 00:52:14,000
What on Earth?
886
00:52:14,000 --> 00:52:16,375
- Last time you cut yourself...
- Enough!
887
00:52:17,791 --> 00:52:19,583
Any news of Antivirus?
888
00:52:19,583 --> 00:52:21,750
He's here and ready, almighty Caesar.
889
00:52:21,750 --> 00:52:22,958
All right, let's go!
890
00:52:28,041 --> 00:52:28,916
All together!
891
00:52:32,541 --> 00:52:33,708
Goose bumps.
892
00:52:33,708 --> 00:52:34,958
Same here.
893
00:53:54,541 --> 00:53:55,833
Antivirus, I love you!
894
00:54:08,958 --> 00:54:11,625
Antivirus, don't go losing your cool.
895
00:54:12,125 --> 00:54:13,958
Cut the pushing. It hurts.
896
00:54:13,958 --> 00:54:16,000
You wanted Antivirus,
897
00:54:16,000 --> 00:54:17,916
I gave you Antivirus.
898
00:54:17,916 --> 00:54:21,000
Now go back to your chariot races.
899
00:54:22,916 --> 00:54:25,708
Why talk when you can fly?
900
00:54:50,291 --> 00:54:51,958
A walk in the park!
901
00:54:54,416 --> 00:54:55,791
In a few days,
902
00:54:55,791 --> 00:54:57,541
I shall be master of China.
903
00:54:58,625 --> 00:55:02,791
I almost envy you,
getting a first taste of Rome's power.
904
00:55:03,375 --> 00:55:05,666
Veni, vidi, vici.
905
00:55:06,666 --> 00:55:08,958
Caesar, you spoil me.
906
00:55:08,958 --> 00:55:10,916
I've got it word for word.
907
00:55:10,916 --> 00:55:13,500
- Awkward. This is for dinner?
- Yes.
908
00:55:13,500 --> 00:55:15,333
- No sense of hospitality.
- No.
909
00:55:16,500 --> 00:55:18,291
And Antivirus? Not here?
910
00:55:18,291 --> 00:55:19,666
He's sleeping.
911
00:55:19,666 --> 00:55:20,666
Sleeping?
912
00:55:20,666 --> 00:55:21,833
I'm here, Caesar.
913
00:55:21,833 --> 00:55:24,208
- Yes, but it's not the same.
- Not at all.
914
00:55:25,958 --> 00:55:28,541
You have one last kingdom to conquer.
915
00:55:28,541 --> 00:55:29,583
The trickiest.
916
00:55:30,875 --> 00:55:32,833
Our victories echo around the land.
917
00:55:32,833 --> 00:55:34,666
And the Ku Koos never give up.
918
00:55:34,666 --> 00:55:37,916
Fine. Let's see who's the biggest Ku Koo.
919
00:55:39,625 --> 00:55:42,625
Not laughing.
King So Ku Koo passed this winter.
920
00:55:43,375 --> 00:55:46,208
His son and heir, Prince of Ku Koo, is 20
921
00:55:46,208 --> 00:55:49,083
and wears a mask
to hide a terrible malformation.
922
00:55:49,083 --> 00:55:50,875
The man in the bamboo mask.
923
00:55:51,375 --> 00:55:52,250
A death
924
00:55:52,250 --> 00:55:55,833
and taking a drubbing from Caesar.
Bad year for the Ku Koos.
925
00:55:57,000 --> 00:55:58,041
By the way...
926
00:55:59,500 --> 00:56:01,083
you seem a bit cuckoo.
927
00:56:01,708 --> 00:56:04,083
No, I'm a Quin. No relation.
928
00:56:04,083 --> 00:56:05,125
I mean...
929
00:56:08,125 --> 00:56:09,583
you're totally cuckoo, right?
930
00:56:15,958 --> 00:56:20,708
Why would you want my help
in ousting you from your own kingdom?
931
00:56:20,708 --> 00:56:22,791
What do you stand to gain,
932
00:56:22,791 --> 00:56:24,875
Deng Tsin Quin?
933
00:56:26,166 --> 00:56:28,416
You plan to give me a Caesarian
934
00:56:28,416 --> 00:56:30,458
after I conquer all the kingdoms?
935
00:56:30,458 --> 00:56:31,708
No.
936
00:56:32,291 --> 00:56:33,583
I'd never do that.
937
00:56:34,166 --> 00:56:35,166
Really?
938
00:56:36,500 --> 00:56:37,333
I would.
939
00:56:38,125 --> 00:56:39,666
At the drop of a hat!
940
00:56:41,166 --> 00:56:42,125
Good one!
941
00:56:44,250 --> 00:56:45,916
Tell me, O Caesar,
942
00:56:46,583 --> 00:56:48,625
did you know that Queen Cleopatra
943
00:56:48,625 --> 00:56:50,291
is highly respected in China?
944
00:56:51,041 --> 00:56:52,000
That's true.
945
00:56:52,000 --> 00:56:55,375
She's done so much
for the conservation of pandas that...
946
00:56:55,958 --> 00:56:58,125
What's she like in real life? Cool?
947
00:57:13,125 --> 00:57:14,666
Home at last.
948
00:57:16,041 --> 00:57:18,958
Can you smell the bamboo,
eucalyptus and ginger?
949
00:57:20,416 --> 00:57:22,541
Don't bother. They have no idea.
950
00:57:22,541 --> 00:57:24,541
I smell them, though.
951
00:57:25,375 --> 00:57:26,458
What sweet scent!
952
00:57:27,041 --> 00:57:28,000
Titanix,
953
00:57:28,000 --> 00:57:30,166
you'll head straight back to Egypt?
954
00:57:30,166 --> 00:57:32,958
No, straight on
till I'm back where I started,
955
00:57:32,958 --> 00:57:34,625
to prove the earth's round.
956
00:58:05,125 --> 00:58:07,166
Didn't I promise you'd be back?
957
00:58:12,750 --> 00:58:15,458
Ka Ra Tay, how will we find
your master here?
958
00:58:15,458 --> 00:58:16,833
He will find us.
959
00:58:34,958 --> 00:58:36,666
- What was the message?
- Nothing.
960
00:58:38,416 --> 00:58:39,708
The bald guy's a friend?
961
00:58:41,083 --> 00:58:43,208
Why not tell me if it's nothing?
962
00:58:45,041 --> 00:58:48,833
Master Sill Lee will come to the inn
where we're staying.
963
00:58:49,958 --> 00:58:52,291
Why all the mystery?
964
00:58:52,291 --> 00:58:53,708
I've lost my appetite now!
965
00:58:56,625 --> 00:58:58,208
He's never like that.
966
00:58:59,625 --> 00:59:03,666
Could be the fatigue,
time difference and culture shock.
967
00:59:03,666 --> 00:59:05,458
Can we talk honestly?
968
00:59:06,291 --> 00:59:09,750
We're hardly bosom buddies.
I hate you, and it feels mutual.
969
00:59:10,958 --> 00:59:13,375
But it's really tense between you two.
970
00:59:13,375 --> 00:59:15,208
The tension's getting to us all.
971
00:59:15,875 --> 00:59:16,916
- It is?
- Yes.
972
00:59:18,083 --> 00:59:19,791
I have an idea for you both
973
00:59:19,791 --> 00:59:23,583
and honestly it will do you
the world of good.
974
00:59:26,250 --> 00:59:28,166
Obelix, we need to talk.
975
00:59:28,708 --> 00:59:29,875
I'm all ears.
976
00:59:29,875 --> 00:59:33,791
You've noticed the Princess and I
have a real good thing going?
977
00:59:35,708 --> 00:59:36,708
For sure.
978
00:59:38,333 --> 00:59:40,583
I think it would be simpler...
979
00:59:41,291 --> 00:59:43,500
if she moved to our village.
980
00:59:43,500 --> 00:59:44,625
All right.
981
00:59:45,541 --> 00:59:46,958
You and I are...
982
00:59:47,458 --> 00:59:49,041
We've lived together for ages.
983
00:59:49,833 --> 00:59:51,833
We never said it was for life.
984
00:59:53,041 --> 00:59:54,291
Seeing as, originally,
985
00:59:54,791 --> 00:59:56,625
it was my parents' hut...
986
01:00:00,666 --> 01:00:02,416
You'd like me to move out?
987
01:00:03,583 --> 01:00:04,583
Yes.
988
01:00:08,583 --> 01:00:10,083
What a relief!
989
01:00:10,083 --> 01:00:13,500
I want to move out
and had no idea how to tell you.
990
01:00:14,083 --> 01:00:14,916
Really?
991
01:00:17,541 --> 01:00:18,958
I'm in love, too.
992
01:00:20,458 --> 01:00:21,458
You're in love?
993
01:00:22,458 --> 01:00:23,541
Beautiful Ka Ra Tay.
994
01:00:27,291 --> 01:00:28,125
Ka Ra Tay?
995
01:00:29,041 --> 01:00:30,333
Our Ka Ra Tay?
996
01:00:30,833 --> 01:00:31,666
Seriously?
997
01:00:34,416 --> 01:00:35,375
What's so funny?
998
01:00:36,666 --> 01:00:37,875
I'm just surprised.
999
01:00:37,875 --> 01:00:39,208
By me falling in love?
1000
01:00:39,875 --> 01:00:41,083
Come on, Oby...
1001
01:00:41,083 --> 01:00:42,166
Don't Oby me.
1002
01:00:42,666 --> 01:00:43,708
No more Oby!
1003
01:00:45,333 --> 01:00:46,166
What's funny?
1004
01:00:46,166 --> 01:00:47,833
I've no right to love?
1005
01:00:48,333 --> 01:00:49,625
No rights at all!
1006
01:00:49,625 --> 01:00:51,541
Nonsense! It's all about you.
1007
01:00:51,541 --> 01:00:53,500
- It is not!
- It is!
1008
01:00:54,625 --> 01:00:56,708
No magic potion for Obelix.
1009
01:00:56,708 --> 01:00:58,000
No love for Obelix!
1010
01:00:58,000 --> 01:01:01,083
Poor Obelix!
He can't have any magic potion.
1011
01:01:01,875 --> 01:01:02,833
Poor Obelix!
1012
01:01:02,833 --> 01:01:04,250
Now I'm not allowed
1013
01:01:04,250 --> 01:01:07,625
to roast my wild boar in my own hut!
1014
01:01:08,208 --> 01:01:11,000
Sorry, not my hut. Asterix's parents' hut!
1015
01:01:11,000 --> 01:01:14,000
- Correct!
- And he wants me to eat fruit and veg!
1016
01:01:14,000 --> 01:01:16,500
Why should we eat fruit and veg?
1017
01:01:16,500 --> 01:01:17,500
For your sake!
1018
01:01:18,000 --> 01:01:18,958
Your health!
1019
01:01:18,958 --> 01:01:21,125
Don't say the word! Don't say it!
1020
01:01:21,125 --> 01:01:22,541
Because you're fat!
1021
01:01:24,916 --> 01:01:27,166
I am curvaceous!
1022
01:01:28,000 --> 01:01:29,125
But at least I'm...
1023
01:01:29,625 --> 01:01:30,833
strong.
1024
01:01:30,833 --> 01:01:32,916
There we go. Thank you!
1025
01:01:32,916 --> 01:01:35,708
You think it's easy always being weaker?
1026
01:01:36,208 --> 01:01:37,583
Dependent on a flask!
1027
01:01:37,583 --> 01:01:38,833
Serves you right!
1028
01:01:39,333 --> 01:01:40,625
There, I said it!
1029
01:01:42,041 --> 01:01:45,000
Needles work well. Release tensions.
1030
01:01:46,625 --> 01:01:48,708
Speak freely.
1031
01:02:01,000 --> 01:02:02,833
- Romans!
- No, Obelix.
1032
01:02:02,833 --> 01:02:04,041
What now?
1033
01:02:04,041 --> 01:02:06,208
We protect the princess's identity.
1034
01:02:07,666 --> 01:02:08,958
What brings Caesar to China?
1035
01:02:08,958 --> 01:02:12,083
The traitor Deng Tsin Quin
has sold us out.
1036
01:02:14,458 --> 01:02:15,875
News flash!
1037
01:02:16,875 --> 01:02:18,166
People of China,
1038
01:02:18,166 --> 01:02:20,791
Prince Deng Tsin Quin and Julius Caesar
1039
01:02:20,791 --> 01:02:23,333
are delighted to announce
the public execution
1040
01:02:23,333 --> 01:02:24,708
of the ex-Empress.
1041
01:02:25,750 --> 01:02:29,250
Beheading will take place
in seven days at sunset.
1042
01:02:30,416 --> 01:02:34,375
Fries will be stirred.
Book early to avoid disappointment.
1043
01:02:34,375 --> 01:02:35,416
Nobody told me.
1044
01:02:35,416 --> 01:02:37,291
By papyrus? You're not in the group?
1045
01:02:37,291 --> 01:02:39,250
I never am!
1046
01:02:39,250 --> 01:02:41,250
I am Princess Sa See!
1047
01:02:41,250 --> 01:02:43,583
Nobody harms the daughter of the heavens,
1048
01:02:43,583 --> 01:02:46,125
Her Majesty the Empress, my mother!
1049
01:02:46,125 --> 01:02:47,583
Arrest her!
1050
01:02:54,291 --> 01:02:55,166
Hey, doggie.
1051
01:02:56,041 --> 01:02:56,875
Bring it on.
1052
01:02:56,875 --> 01:03:00,166
Anyone who touches a single hair
of my future wife
1053
01:03:00,166 --> 01:03:02,708
must prepare for a world of pain.
1054
01:03:04,583 --> 01:03:05,875
I said that?
1055
01:03:12,208 --> 01:03:14,416
Hold on, timeout. Pause it.
1056
01:03:14,416 --> 01:03:17,208
Just a second, I'll be right back.
1057
01:03:18,416 --> 01:03:19,625
You're kidding me.
1058
01:03:22,166 --> 01:03:23,166
You good?
1059
01:03:27,166 --> 01:03:28,083
We can start?
1060
01:03:28,708 --> 01:03:30,375
- Toilet break.
- Sure.
1061
01:03:30,375 --> 01:03:31,666
Not buying it.
1062
01:04:01,916 --> 01:04:02,916
Wring!
1063
01:04:26,083 --> 01:04:27,291
How about that.
1064
01:04:32,958 --> 01:04:35,666
The acupuncturist prescribed me
two days' rest.
1065
01:04:35,666 --> 01:04:37,125
For what we get paid...
1066
01:04:38,958 --> 01:04:40,250
Act like we never met?
1067
01:04:40,250 --> 01:04:41,291
We never met.
1068
01:05:36,500 --> 01:05:38,916
Say, he just flew off my fist.
1069
01:05:38,916 --> 01:05:40,125
Yeah, I saw that.
1070
01:05:40,125 --> 01:05:42,125
Let's face it, no one beats you.
1071
01:05:43,000 --> 01:05:44,250
What's this?
1072
01:05:47,416 --> 01:05:48,541
Insane! So tight.
1073
01:05:48,541 --> 01:05:50,416
Come on, Princess, it's not safe.
1074
01:05:50,416 --> 01:05:52,583
"Come on, Princess, it's not safe."
1075
01:05:54,291 --> 01:05:55,416
A problem?
1076
01:05:55,416 --> 01:05:56,500
Maybe.
1077
01:05:57,458 --> 01:05:58,541
Potion's worn off?
1078
01:05:58,541 --> 01:06:00,250
Maybe. Try me, you'll see.
1079
01:06:02,083 --> 01:06:02,958
We'll talk later.
1080
01:06:03,750 --> 01:06:04,916
Ready when you are.
1081
01:06:23,875 --> 01:06:25,000
Halt!
1082
01:06:29,791 --> 01:06:31,625
THE ORIGINAL 2CV
1083
01:06:36,958 --> 01:06:38,625
SOAPS by CLEO
1084
01:06:41,083 --> 01:06:42,875
Who whistled?
1085
01:06:53,833 --> 01:06:54,958
I go off to war.
1086
01:06:55,875 --> 01:06:57,875
I risk my life and nothing from her.
1087
01:06:58,458 --> 01:07:00,208
No messages, no news.
1088
01:07:00,208 --> 01:07:01,875
No papyrus, no pigeons.
1089
01:07:01,875 --> 01:07:03,958
Time to snap out of it!
1090
01:07:03,958 --> 01:07:06,750
We were the intrepid, conquering hero.
1091
01:07:06,750 --> 01:07:09,250
- We've gone a bit flat.
- He's right.
1092
01:07:09,250 --> 01:07:10,875
You messaged her?
1093
01:07:10,875 --> 01:07:13,875
No, we said no messages. We play it cool.
1094
01:07:13,875 --> 01:07:16,791
We do nothing. Let her stew like beef.
1095
01:07:16,791 --> 01:07:18,916
Butt out, cupcake!
1096
01:07:18,916 --> 01:07:20,875
Come again, sentry?
1097
01:07:20,875 --> 01:07:24,208
Risklus! An aquarium,
with water on the brain!
1098
01:07:24,208 --> 01:07:27,416
Two-bit Antivirus!
You're not fit to shine his sandals.
1099
01:07:27,416 --> 01:07:29,166
Shut your trap!
1100
01:07:32,791 --> 01:07:34,416
Who wears the toga at home?
1101
01:07:34,916 --> 01:07:35,833
Who's the boss?
1102
01:07:36,458 --> 01:07:37,375
I am.
1103
01:07:37,916 --> 01:07:39,000
Anyone hear that?
1104
01:07:39,625 --> 01:07:41,166
Who's the boss?
1105
01:07:42,541 --> 01:07:44,000
- I am.
- There you are!
1106
01:07:44,000 --> 01:07:45,958
You're back. Julius Caesar!
1107
01:07:45,958 --> 01:07:47,583
Our champion! Number one!
1108
01:07:48,500 --> 01:07:50,208
The only message is,
1109
01:07:50,208 --> 01:07:53,375
"Take your trunks and stuff,
and go home to Egypt!"
1110
01:07:53,375 --> 01:07:56,208
"Walking straight or sideways,
whatever, just go!"
1111
01:08:00,166 --> 01:08:01,458
You're right. Scribe!
1112
01:08:12,875 --> 01:08:14,250
Better!
1113
01:08:14,250 --> 01:08:17,833
I want my palace in Rome
empty of sarcophagi and bandages.
1114
01:08:18,791 --> 01:08:21,875
As of today,
you know who wears the toga at home.
1115
01:08:22,958 --> 01:08:24,208
Ave, me!
1116
01:08:24,208 --> 01:08:28,375
There, that's big-time Caesar. Masterful!
1117
01:08:28,375 --> 01:08:30,166
The Queen of Egypt?
1118
01:08:30,166 --> 01:08:32,166
Queen of Nitwits more like!
1119
01:08:33,083 --> 01:08:35,000
They're not singing anymore...
1120
01:08:35,000 --> 01:08:38,000
They're not singing, the Egyptians!
1121
01:08:38,000 --> 01:08:39,750
- Send.
- Yes!
1122
01:08:43,791 --> 01:08:45,041
Pigeon!
1123
01:08:48,375 --> 01:08:49,500
A bunny!
1124
01:08:50,583 --> 01:08:51,541
It's a bunny.
1125
01:08:51,541 --> 01:08:52,916
Scary!
1126
01:08:53,500 --> 01:08:55,125
A raccoon!
1127
01:08:58,833 --> 01:08:59,750
A goat!
1128
01:09:00,583 --> 01:09:01,791
A billy goat.
1129
01:09:07,833 --> 01:09:09,541
Come on, sweetie, let's go.
1130
01:09:18,708 --> 01:09:19,833
From Cleopatra.
1131
01:09:19,833 --> 01:09:20,833
Already?
1132
01:09:22,416 --> 01:09:23,250
Read it.
1133
01:09:34,958 --> 01:09:37,500
- Don't understand a word.
- I don't understand.
1134
01:09:39,791 --> 01:09:41,416
"I wanted to apologise
1135
01:09:42,375 --> 01:09:43,583
for my behaviour."
1136
01:09:43,583 --> 01:09:44,958
"I went too far."
1137
01:09:44,958 --> 01:09:46,083
For sure.
1138
01:09:47,250 --> 01:09:51,166
"Four months apart
and I dream of us being reunited.
1139
01:09:51,750 --> 01:09:54,416
"Waiting for you in Rome. Come back soon."
1140
01:09:55,208 --> 01:09:56,541
"Your loving Cleo."
1141
01:09:57,958 --> 01:09:59,625
Stop the pigeon!
1142
01:09:59,625 --> 01:10:01,166
Cancel the pigeon!
1143
01:10:01,166 --> 01:10:03,000
- Fast!
- We can't cancel it.
1144
01:10:03,000 --> 01:10:05,416
Sent is sent. I beat him?
1145
01:10:06,000 --> 01:10:07,125
Everybody out!
1146
01:10:12,208 --> 01:10:13,416
I said everybody.
1147
01:11:31,333 --> 01:11:33,250
Hungry? There's lots of fruit.
1148
01:11:33,250 --> 01:11:34,500
- Hands off.
- What?
1149
01:11:34,500 --> 01:11:35,875
They're offerings.
1150
01:11:36,541 --> 01:11:38,208
Sorry. I didn't...
1151
01:11:45,875 --> 01:11:46,875
Hold on.
1152
01:11:46,875 --> 01:11:48,916
Move along. Have a good evening.
1153
01:11:49,500 --> 01:11:50,375
Good luck.
1154
01:11:50,875 --> 01:11:52,333
Just a beggar.
1155
01:11:57,833 --> 01:11:58,958
Master Sill Lee.
1156
01:11:59,833 --> 01:12:00,875
Sorry.
1157
01:12:01,833 --> 01:12:04,541
Profuse apologies, Mr. Sill Lee.
I thought...
1158
01:12:04,541 --> 01:12:07,875
Master Sill Lee is a hermit
who devotes his life to meditation.
1159
01:12:08,375 --> 01:12:10,125
He took a vow of absolute poverty.
1160
01:12:10,833 --> 01:12:13,916
Bravo for the oath. That blows my mind.
1161
01:12:13,916 --> 01:12:15,250
It's beyond me.
1162
01:12:15,250 --> 01:12:18,416
In that case,
allow me to relieve you of the money.
1163
01:12:18,416 --> 01:12:21,375
Try to take back your coin,
1164
01:12:21,375 --> 01:12:22,916
little grasshopper.
1165
01:12:27,291 --> 01:12:29,125
It's too easy. You're blind.
1166
01:12:29,125 --> 01:12:32,583
Never assume a man cannot see
because he's...
1167
01:12:34,291 --> 01:12:35,833
You saw that coming?
1168
01:12:37,833 --> 01:12:39,333
There we are!
1169
01:12:39,875 --> 01:12:41,166
It was his game.
1170
01:12:41,166 --> 01:12:42,375
Leave him.
1171
01:12:42,375 --> 01:12:43,541
Little grasshopper!
1172
01:12:44,125 --> 01:12:45,416
Sir, over here.
1173
01:12:46,250 --> 01:12:48,708
You are as swift as a cobra.
1174
01:12:48,708 --> 01:12:49,791
Yup, Sill Lee.
1175
01:12:49,791 --> 01:12:52,375
Can we move on to important matters?
1176
01:12:58,541 --> 01:13:00,083
By Toutatis!
1177
01:13:00,083 --> 01:13:04,000
Deng Tsin Quin spreads terror
across the whole country.
1178
01:13:04,000 --> 01:13:06,125
Do not touch.
1179
01:13:07,083 --> 01:13:07,958
Hard to resist.
1180
01:13:08,541 --> 01:13:09,708
I see
1181
01:13:09,708 --> 01:13:11,750
an old abandoned temple.
1182
01:13:11,750 --> 01:13:13,708
The temple in Xuan.
1183
01:13:14,208 --> 01:13:17,833
Her Majesty the Empress is held prisoner.
1184
01:13:19,000 --> 01:13:21,083
After releasing her,
1185
01:13:21,083 --> 01:13:24,125
you must go with all speed
1186
01:13:24,125 --> 01:13:25,916
to the Ku Koos' palace,
1187
01:13:25,916 --> 01:13:30,208
before Caesar seizes the final kingdom.
1188
01:13:30,791 --> 01:13:32,833
You will encounter
1189
01:13:33,458 --> 01:13:34,583
the hideous...
1190
01:13:34,583 --> 01:13:36,583
the unsightly...
1191
01:13:36,583 --> 01:13:40,708
the monstrous crown prince,
1192
01:13:40,708 --> 01:13:42,125
Prince of Ku Koo,
1193
01:13:42,125 --> 01:13:45,416
the man in the bamboo mask.
1194
01:13:47,416 --> 01:13:49,166
Don't worry, it's fake.
1195
01:13:49,166 --> 01:13:51,041
Good luck!
1196
01:13:51,625 --> 01:13:54,083
We must go our separate ways.
1197
01:13:54,791 --> 01:13:55,958
Grand master,
1198
01:13:56,458 --> 01:13:58,166
are you done with the ball?
1199
01:14:00,000 --> 01:14:01,083
Yes.
1200
01:14:04,958 --> 01:14:06,041
Holy cow!
1201
01:14:09,125 --> 01:14:11,083
There you are. You broke it.
1202
01:14:11,083 --> 01:14:12,833
He said do not touch.
1203
01:14:14,833 --> 01:14:15,916
He's right.
1204
01:14:16,833 --> 01:14:18,666
I said do not touch!
1205
01:14:24,666 --> 01:14:25,666
Why'd you touch it?
1206
01:14:31,708 --> 01:14:34,250
Seen Princess Sa See? With two warriors...
1207
01:14:38,416 --> 01:14:39,791
Princess Sa See?
1208
01:14:39,791 --> 01:14:43,166
Seen her?
With two superhuman foreign warriors.
1209
01:14:43,750 --> 01:14:44,625
And a dog.
1210
01:15:00,000 --> 01:15:02,500
You're waiting for an ale? Bring them in!
1211
01:15:03,291 --> 01:15:04,958
- Asterix!
- What? Run!
1212
01:15:05,458 --> 01:15:06,791
- Asterix!
- What?
1213
01:15:06,791 --> 01:15:08,666
Why are we running?
1214
01:15:08,666 --> 01:15:10,500
- So I don't have to fight.
- Why?
1215
01:15:10,500 --> 01:15:12,541
No more potion with the Princess.
1216
01:15:12,541 --> 01:15:14,541
I'm sick of looking stupid.
1217
01:15:15,041 --> 01:15:17,166
Hurry! I bagged a rickshaw.
1218
01:15:17,166 --> 01:15:18,333
Come on!
1219
01:15:20,125 --> 01:15:21,125
Fast!
1220
01:15:21,833 --> 01:15:22,916
Faster!
1221
01:15:27,458 --> 01:15:28,875
He does this on purpose.
1222
01:16:21,750 --> 01:16:22,833
All right.
1223
01:16:28,166 --> 01:16:31,291
One more ball and it's curtains for us.
1224
01:16:32,333 --> 01:16:33,583
So, our last night...
1225
01:16:34,458 --> 01:16:35,750
I was thinking...
1226
01:16:36,416 --> 01:16:38,500
maybe as a memento...
1227
01:16:38,500 --> 01:16:39,416
Majesty!
1228
01:16:41,208 --> 01:16:42,291
Gave me a fright!
1229
01:16:42,291 --> 01:16:43,875
We'll get you out.
1230
01:16:43,875 --> 01:16:45,125
Who's that?
1231
01:16:47,208 --> 01:16:48,500
Stand back.
1232
01:16:59,291 --> 01:17:00,291
All good?
1233
01:17:08,541 --> 01:17:09,375
Sorry.
1234
01:17:22,208 --> 01:17:23,083
Rise.
1235
01:17:24,833 --> 01:17:25,666
Let's go.
1236
01:17:25,666 --> 01:17:27,166
Jump. We'll catch you.
1237
01:17:27,166 --> 01:17:29,000
What? Jump?
1238
01:17:29,000 --> 01:17:30,750
I can't leave right now!
1239
01:17:30,750 --> 01:17:32,958
Abandon a negotiation? Not my style!
1240
01:17:33,541 --> 01:17:35,375
In two balls, the guard caves.
1241
01:17:35,375 --> 01:17:38,041
Go ahead without me. I'll catch you up.
1242
01:17:38,666 --> 01:17:39,500
Are you sure?
1243
01:17:40,500 --> 01:17:41,500
Yes.
1244
01:17:42,500 --> 01:17:43,458
As you wish.
1245
01:17:46,958 --> 01:17:47,833
Take care.
1246
01:17:48,791 --> 01:17:50,041
And keep your head.
1247
01:17:52,291 --> 01:17:53,750
You're afraid for me.
1248
01:17:55,000 --> 01:17:58,958
You see, you're even more beautiful
smiling than in a temper.
1249
01:18:06,833 --> 01:18:08,500
She's so impressive!
1250
01:18:09,875 --> 01:18:10,875
Thank you.
1251
01:18:12,458 --> 01:18:13,375
Mother!
1252
01:18:14,041 --> 01:18:15,666
What joy to see you again.
1253
01:18:26,125 --> 01:18:27,666
- Alert!
- Run!
1254
01:18:27,666 --> 01:18:28,666
They've escaped!
1255
01:18:39,583 --> 01:18:41,083
Which way now? Which way?
1256
01:18:42,625 --> 01:18:43,625
Wait.
1257
01:18:44,625 --> 01:18:46,708
Good. We lost them.
1258
01:18:46,708 --> 01:18:49,041
Friends from Gaul. Thanks for your help.
1259
01:18:49,041 --> 01:18:50,958
Our pleasure, Your Majesty.
1260
01:18:51,791 --> 01:18:53,916
Seeing as no one introduces me...
1261
01:18:55,666 --> 01:18:56,958
Bankruptis.
1262
01:18:56,958 --> 01:18:59,500
We already met at the market.
1263
01:19:00,208 --> 01:19:01,250
That's right.
1264
01:19:02,041 --> 01:19:03,750
Life's full of surprises.
1265
01:19:06,125 --> 01:19:07,875
Attention issues for the Empress.
1266
01:19:09,083 --> 01:19:12,291
Take the Gauls to the Ku Koos.
Secure their support.
1267
01:19:12,291 --> 01:19:15,708
Meanwhile I'll rally
our army and followers.
1268
01:19:16,541 --> 01:19:17,791
Ka Ra Tay, come with me.
1269
01:19:18,458 --> 01:19:20,208
I shall honour you, Mother.
1270
01:19:20,208 --> 01:19:21,375
You'll be proud of me.
1271
01:19:23,250 --> 01:19:24,583
I'm already proud of you.
1272
01:19:26,500 --> 01:19:27,666
Let's go, Ka Ra Tay.
1273
01:19:45,250 --> 01:19:46,625
This will end badly.
1274
01:20:09,500 --> 01:20:11,541
Ka Ra Tay has fallen for Obelix.
1275
01:20:13,541 --> 01:20:14,375
Obelix, too.
1276
01:20:17,166 --> 01:20:20,208
I don't like all the falling-for
in this adventure.
1277
01:20:21,250 --> 01:20:22,333
So let's go.
1278
01:20:23,750 --> 01:20:25,291
Obelix, come on.
1279
01:20:33,708 --> 01:20:36,333
- What's the wine made from?
- Rice.
1280
01:20:37,416 --> 01:20:39,583
Refinement is not your strong suit.
1281
01:20:43,916 --> 01:20:46,458
Got a kick but not all bad.
1282
01:20:47,208 --> 01:20:48,333
It's relaxing.
1283
01:20:48,333 --> 01:20:49,458
Rice wine.
1284
01:20:50,083 --> 01:20:53,291
Maybe take a few amphorae
for fight nights with Wifey.
1285
01:20:55,791 --> 01:20:56,875
You see...
1286
01:20:56,875 --> 01:20:58,625
At times like this...
1287
01:21:02,000 --> 01:21:03,000
I miss her.
1288
01:21:03,500 --> 01:21:05,291
What's with the music?
1289
01:21:05,291 --> 01:21:06,291
A full band?
1290
01:21:06,291 --> 01:21:07,708
Four and a singer.
1291
01:21:08,208 --> 01:21:10,083
- You take them everywhere?
- Yes.
1292
01:21:10,083 --> 01:21:11,291
It's practical.
1293
01:21:12,291 --> 01:21:14,416
I always have my favourite music.
1294
01:21:16,000 --> 01:21:16,833
Know it?
1295
01:21:16,833 --> 01:21:18,208
Sure, obviously.
1296
01:21:19,333 --> 01:21:21,583
Now that's what I call music.
1297
01:21:22,750 --> 01:21:24,958
None of your ching-chong nonsense.
1298
01:21:38,583 --> 01:21:39,791
Amore!
1299
01:21:40,875 --> 01:21:41,875
What are you doing?
1300
01:21:43,750 --> 01:21:46,125
- I saw my wife.
- I'm nobody's wife.
1301
01:21:47,958 --> 01:21:48,833
Know what?
1302
01:21:48,833 --> 01:21:51,458
Your libation brought back the urge.
1303
01:21:54,125 --> 01:21:57,125
I shall become the next Emperor of China.
1304
01:21:57,708 --> 01:21:58,583
Wow...
1305
01:21:58,583 --> 01:22:01,375
Mama Cleo will never get over it.
1306
01:22:02,166 --> 01:22:04,916
Tomorrow at dawn, we go full Ku Koo.
1307
01:22:22,333 --> 01:22:24,708
Slow down. Our exit's coming up.
1308
01:22:24,708 --> 01:22:26,083
Yes, next one.
1309
01:22:28,041 --> 01:22:30,208
Once more, thanks to Obelix,
1310
01:22:30,208 --> 01:22:34,208
our friends beat Caesar's army
to the palace of Prince Ku Koo,
1311
01:22:34,208 --> 01:22:35,958
the man in the bamboo mask.
1312
01:22:36,458 --> 01:22:37,541
Keep up.
1313
01:22:41,291 --> 01:22:42,458
I am To Fu.
1314
01:22:43,458 --> 01:22:46,500
Advisor to the prince regent, Ku Koo.
1315
01:22:47,083 --> 01:22:48,458
Can you prove
1316
01:22:49,166 --> 01:22:51,291
you really are Princess Sa See?
1317
01:22:52,458 --> 01:22:55,125
I give my word.
I am the Empress's daughter.
1318
01:22:55,125 --> 01:22:58,833
Sadly, your word is not enough.
1319
01:23:00,083 --> 01:23:01,750
You could be a spy
1320
01:23:02,375 --> 01:23:03,541
in the pay
1321
01:23:03,541 --> 01:23:05,125
of Deng Tsin Quin!
1322
01:23:07,666 --> 01:23:08,500
The coin!
1323
01:23:14,416 --> 01:23:17,916
Will you now bow
before your Empress's daughter?
1324
01:23:19,916 --> 01:23:22,041
I apologise profusely, Princess Sa See.
1325
01:23:22,041 --> 01:23:23,791
We must be careful.
1326
01:23:24,416 --> 01:23:26,833
His Highness, the Prince...
1327
01:23:26,833 --> 01:23:27,958
of Ku Koo!
1328
01:23:40,333 --> 01:23:41,333
What the heck?
1329
01:23:41,958 --> 01:23:44,125
Don't turn your back. It's rude!
1330
01:23:44,125 --> 01:23:45,208
In his house.
1331
01:24:07,833 --> 01:24:08,833
Princess Sa See,
1332
01:24:08,833 --> 01:24:11,500
Prince of Ku Koo, with my men,
at your service.
1333
01:24:11,500 --> 01:24:14,125
We support your mother, our Empress.
1334
01:24:15,833 --> 01:24:16,833
Thanks.
1335
01:24:17,500 --> 01:24:18,625
Sorry, I'm lost for...
1336
01:24:19,208 --> 01:24:21,500
All my fault.
My cursed mane frightens you.
1337
01:24:22,250 --> 01:24:24,083
On the contrary, it suits you.
1338
01:24:25,708 --> 01:24:27,125
Nobody ever said that.
1339
01:24:27,125 --> 01:24:29,083
I never wanted to say it.
1340
01:24:44,500 --> 01:24:46,666
That's love at first look.
1341
01:24:46,666 --> 01:24:49,125
Whole weeks of work for nothing.
1342
01:24:51,916 --> 01:24:53,875
Back to the friend zone.
1343
01:24:55,208 --> 01:24:56,250
Let's go.
1344
01:24:57,708 --> 01:24:59,208
We have a country to save.
1345
01:25:13,208 --> 01:25:15,375
Gotta be cuckoo
to build a palace in a hollow.
1346
01:25:15,875 --> 01:25:17,041
No way out.
1347
01:25:17,541 --> 01:25:19,416
Cornered by Caesar. It will be brief.
1348
01:25:23,458 --> 01:25:24,833
Here we go again.
1349
01:25:24,833 --> 01:25:26,083
Blah-blah time.
1350
01:25:38,000 --> 01:25:39,833
I am Princess Sa See.
1351
01:25:39,833 --> 01:25:42,208
Submit to the sole Empress of China.
1352
01:25:43,958 --> 01:25:45,375
Sa See darling,
1353
01:25:45,375 --> 01:25:47,041
we can marry at last.
1354
01:25:47,041 --> 01:25:50,541
Don't bet on it.
You'll regret your acts, Deng Tsin Quin.
1355
01:25:51,416 --> 01:25:54,250
- She's no pushover.
- Can't lie, sparks aren't flying.
1356
01:25:54,250 --> 01:25:56,708
I have a question for you.
1357
01:25:58,041 --> 01:25:59,375
How many?
1358
01:25:59,375 --> 01:26:00,750
Ten thousand.
1359
01:26:00,750 --> 01:26:04,375
Because we are 80,000-strong!
1360
01:26:10,541 --> 01:26:13,750
That's experience for you.
Not boasting, I've never lost.
1361
01:26:13,750 --> 01:26:14,833
You're wonderful.
1362
01:26:14,833 --> 01:26:16,500
You miscounted, Princess.
1363
01:26:16,500 --> 01:26:18,166
Ten thousand plus two.
1364
01:26:18,166 --> 01:26:19,500
If you still need me.
1365
01:26:19,500 --> 01:26:20,750
Peek-a-boo, Julius!
1366
01:26:20,750 --> 01:26:21,958
It's us!
1367
01:26:21,958 --> 01:26:22,875
The crazies!
1368
01:26:22,875 --> 01:26:24,166
Not plus two.
1369
01:26:24,166 --> 01:26:25,375
Plus three!
1370
01:26:25,958 --> 01:26:27,666
The man in the bamboo mask.
1371
01:26:29,583 --> 01:26:30,500
Gross!
1372
01:26:30,500 --> 01:26:32,375
Poor guy's blond!
1373
01:26:32,375 --> 01:26:33,416
It's not too bad.
1374
01:26:33,416 --> 01:26:35,041
Not plus three. Plus four!
1375
01:26:35,750 --> 01:26:36,875
I'm the man
1376
01:26:37,666 --> 01:26:38,791
with feather feet!
1377
01:26:38,791 --> 01:26:40,083
What is this?
1378
01:26:46,583 --> 01:26:48,916
Why talk when you can run?
1379
01:27:01,375 --> 01:27:03,625
He didn't warm up. The chump!
1380
01:27:03,625 --> 01:27:05,416
- Did I say charge?
- No.
1381
01:27:08,333 --> 01:27:09,416
Substitute!
1382
01:27:13,625 --> 01:27:15,000
Antivirus!
1383
01:27:51,875 --> 01:27:53,750
Asterix, I'll have a drop.
1384
01:27:54,333 --> 01:27:55,375
Not enough for four.
1385
01:27:55,375 --> 01:27:56,625
"Not enough for four!"
1386
01:28:00,333 --> 01:28:01,708
The cheats!
1387
01:28:01,708 --> 01:28:02,875
Won't help them.
1388
01:28:04,416 --> 01:28:06,291
Charge!
1389
01:28:23,541 --> 01:28:24,541
Yes?
1390
01:28:25,083 --> 01:28:26,083
Of course.
1391
01:29:15,750 --> 01:29:16,708
Help me.
1392
01:29:17,291 --> 01:29:18,375
Pipe down.
1393
01:29:18,375 --> 01:29:19,458
You've got gall.
1394
01:29:20,000 --> 01:29:20,833
Gall...
1395
01:29:20,833 --> 01:29:21,916
Gaul!
1396
01:29:34,833 --> 01:29:36,166
Can I join in?
1397
01:29:36,166 --> 01:29:37,500
Yeah, sure.
1398
01:29:37,500 --> 01:29:38,583
Archers!
1399
01:29:39,541 --> 01:29:40,458
Prepare!
1400
01:29:41,041 --> 01:29:42,041
Draw!
1401
01:29:42,541 --> 01:29:43,625
Loose!
1402
01:29:45,000 --> 01:29:47,291
Deng Tsin Quin, Emperor of China!
1403
01:29:50,208 --> 01:29:51,208
Arrows!
1404
01:30:05,791 --> 01:30:07,250
You can't be serious.
1405
01:30:07,250 --> 01:30:08,666
Don't judge me.
1406
01:30:11,291 --> 01:30:12,250
I feel it.
1407
01:30:13,500 --> 01:30:14,958
I feel it rising.
1408
01:30:18,125 --> 01:30:19,250
It's insane!
1409
01:30:20,708 --> 01:30:22,791
That's it?
1410
01:30:25,500 --> 01:30:26,875
No way! It's a joke.
1411
01:30:36,791 --> 01:30:37,958
I smell victory.
1412
01:30:39,791 --> 01:30:40,958
A particular scent?
1413
01:30:42,166 --> 01:30:44,291
Do readers care for such details?
1414
01:30:44,291 --> 01:30:45,708
It sets the scene.
1415
01:30:47,500 --> 01:30:49,166
The scent of laurels.
1416
01:30:49,166 --> 01:30:51,958
Excellent!
1417
01:31:14,125 --> 01:31:15,083
Thanks.
1418
01:31:15,083 --> 01:31:16,333
You're welcome.
1419
01:31:19,666 --> 01:31:21,583
We fell out but I can help out.
1420
01:31:22,166 --> 01:31:23,000
Sure.
1421
01:31:23,000 --> 01:31:24,000
I'm on your side.
1422
01:31:25,666 --> 01:31:26,500
Sure.
1423
01:31:28,041 --> 01:31:29,583
You'll always be my chum.
1424
01:31:32,750 --> 01:31:33,583
Sure.
1425
01:31:34,916 --> 01:31:36,250
Sorry, Obelix.
1426
01:32:01,083 --> 01:32:02,041
Stop!
1427
01:32:16,583 --> 01:32:18,000
Before I die...
1428
01:32:19,416 --> 01:32:21,166
I must tell you, Princess...
1429
01:32:47,208 --> 01:32:48,041
Look!
1430
01:32:49,791 --> 01:32:51,583
Just when all seems lost,
1431
01:32:52,166 --> 01:32:53,791
the Empress arrives,
1432
01:32:53,791 --> 01:32:56,833
followed by her army and entire people.
1433
01:32:56,833 --> 01:32:58,291
They are all there,
1434
01:32:58,291 --> 01:33:01,916
marching across the middle kingdom
1435
01:33:01,916 --> 01:33:04,375
to the scene of the final battle.
1436
01:33:21,416 --> 01:33:23,333
- What on Earth is this?
- Not sure.
1437
01:33:23,333 --> 01:33:25,875
Suddenly, I can't smell the laurels.
1438
01:33:26,416 --> 01:33:27,791
Pine boxes maybe.
1439
01:33:36,750 --> 01:33:38,291
I am Empress of China.
1440
01:33:38,291 --> 01:33:40,916
I order you to leave my empire forthwith.
1441
01:33:41,958 --> 01:33:43,041
Never!
1442
01:33:43,541 --> 01:33:45,708
She has a temper. Reminds me of someone.
1443
01:33:47,666 --> 01:33:48,791
Your Majesty!
1444
01:33:49,666 --> 01:33:52,000
Rather than ruin everything in anger,
1445
01:33:52,000 --> 01:33:54,708
perhaps we could envisage
a sort of alliance.
1446
01:33:54,708 --> 01:33:57,625
When the cloud conceals the sun,
1447
01:33:57,625 --> 01:34:00,041
my army will reduce you to dust.
1448
01:34:00,875 --> 01:34:02,041
What's that?
1449
01:34:02,583 --> 01:34:03,541
A local proverb?
1450
01:34:03,541 --> 01:34:06,291
No, it's literal. It's happening.
1451
01:34:12,000 --> 01:34:13,250
How many of you?
1452
01:34:13,250 --> 01:34:14,541
He's at it again.
1453
01:34:15,166 --> 01:34:16,000
One
1454
01:34:16,541 --> 01:34:17,375
million!
1455
01:34:20,500 --> 01:34:21,583
Game changer.
1456
01:34:23,291 --> 01:34:25,541
I'll be going. I'm not from here.
1457
01:34:25,541 --> 01:34:27,625
I'll be in Rome. Keep me posted.
1458
01:34:28,625 --> 01:34:29,708
Don't desert us.
1459
01:34:29,708 --> 01:34:31,208
There's a million of them.
1460
01:34:32,000 --> 01:34:33,000
It's not my war.
1461
01:34:38,791 --> 01:34:40,083
I can't go like this.
1462
01:34:43,166 --> 01:34:44,208
Rear up!
1463
01:34:55,750 --> 01:34:56,875
Got your message!
1464
01:34:56,875 --> 01:34:59,833
Say goodbye to my little pyramid!
Cleopatra
1465
01:35:01,083 --> 01:35:02,791
It's been a tough day.
1466
01:35:03,625 --> 01:35:04,458
A tough day.
1467
01:35:43,750 --> 01:35:45,333
That feels good.
1468
01:35:46,833 --> 01:35:48,833
Here we are, back in Gaul.
1469
01:35:49,333 --> 01:35:51,916
Not only
for our friends' customary banquet,
1470
01:35:52,625 --> 01:35:56,500
but also to celebrate Gaul and China.
1471
01:35:59,791 --> 01:36:02,458
And now the Empress will speak.
1472
01:36:04,500 --> 01:36:05,583
Valiant Gauls!
1473
01:36:06,666 --> 01:36:08,458
You have my eternal gratitude.
1474
01:36:09,208 --> 01:36:11,250
It was an honour, Your Majesty.
1475
01:36:11,250 --> 01:36:13,750
I insisted we come to help.
1476
01:36:15,166 --> 01:36:17,000
We made this long journey
1477
01:36:17,000 --> 01:36:19,041
to celebrate a beautiful alliance.
1478
01:36:27,750 --> 01:36:29,291
That's my cousin Remix.
1479
01:36:29,875 --> 01:36:31,666
A specialist in world music.
1480
01:36:32,500 --> 01:36:33,708
He's my cousin.
1481
01:36:33,708 --> 01:36:36,000
Mine. Not yours, mine!
1482
01:37:22,666 --> 01:37:25,166
We have a lot in common, you and I.
1483
01:37:25,166 --> 01:37:26,333
We're chiefs.
1484
01:37:26,333 --> 01:37:29,000
I always think
power isolates you from people.
1485
01:37:29,000 --> 01:37:30,333
Don't you agree?
1486
01:37:32,708 --> 01:37:34,583
And I'm not done.
1487
01:37:34,583 --> 01:37:36,916
And behind every great man
1488
01:37:36,916 --> 01:37:38,083
is a great woman.
1489
01:37:38,083 --> 01:37:41,166
Without Impedimenta, I'm nothing.
At home, she holds the shield.
1490
01:37:41,166 --> 01:37:43,916
I'm not disturbing you?
You're having a good day?
1491
01:37:45,291 --> 01:37:46,250
We'll talk at home.
1492
01:37:47,916 --> 01:37:48,833
Mimenta!
1493
01:37:49,458 --> 01:37:52,041
Excuse me, minor marital contretemps.
1494
01:37:55,666 --> 01:37:57,416
I thought he'd never leave.
1495
01:37:59,125 --> 01:38:02,125
You know, when you left the cell,
I kept my head...
1496
01:38:03,666 --> 01:38:04,666
However...
1497
01:38:05,333 --> 01:38:06,541
I lost my heart.
1498
01:38:07,291 --> 01:38:08,375
Now, now.
1499
01:38:08,875 --> 01:38:11,125
Well then, where's my little heart?
1500
01:38:14,125 --> 01:38:15,208
Bankruptis, look.
1501
01:38:15,791 --> 01:38:17,541
Uncle didn't nod off in prison.
1502
01:38:18,458 --> 01:38:19,541
Classy!
1503
01:38:26,500 --> 01:38:27,333
One more plate.
1504
01:38:27,333 --> 01:38:29,458
No, a dish. A big dish! Share?
1505
01:38:30,458 --> 01:38:32,250
- I won't crack.
- Silly me.
1506
01:38:33,625 --> 01:38:35,208
Still don't miss it?
1507
01:38:35,708 --> 01:38:36,833
Not at all.
1508
01:38:37,333 --> 01:38:38,333
Honestly...
1509
01:38:38,833 --> 01:38:40,000
the smell is vile.
1510
01:38:41,291 --> 01:38:43,208
There are still triggers, though.
1511
01:38:44,166 --> 01:38:46,416
Drink an ale and it becomes tricky.
1512
01:38:47,875 --> 01:38:48,875
Hi, Obelix.
1513
01:38:49,583 --> 01:38:50,416
Panacea.
1514
01:38:51,458 --> 01:38:52,375
I'm interrupting?
1515
01:38:53,416 --> 01:38:54,666
I can see I am.
1516
01:38:55,333 --> 01:38:56,500
You ignore me now.
1517
01:38:57,916 --> 01:38:59,125
Are the rumours true?
1518
01:38:59,125 --> 01:39:00,583
You and Ka Ra Tay?
1519
01:39:01,583 --> 01:39:02,500
Seriously?
1520
01:39:02,500 --> 01:39:04,708
Long-distance relationships don't work.
1521
01:39:04,708 --> 01:39:06,666
Honestly, her there, you here...
1522
01:39:06,666 --> 01:39:07,583
And I'm here.
1523
01:39:08,166 --> 01:39:10,875
Waiting for you for months, worried sick,
1524
01:39:10,875 --> 01:39:12,416
and you fall in love?
1525
01:39:13,291 --> 01:39:14,458
Don't you love me?
1526
01:39:15,375 --> 01:39:16,750
Is that a yes or a no?
1527
01:39:16,750 --> 01:39:18,083
You wanted me.
1528
01:39:18,583 --> 01:39:19,833
Is it a yes or a no?
1529
01:39:19,833 --> 01:39:21,875
- I forget you?
- Say yes!
1530
01:39:21,875 --> 01:39:22,958
Panacea...
1531
01:39:24,250 --> 01:39:25,125
Don't bother.
1532
01:39:25,125 --> 01:39:28,000
You know the village
thrives on new adventures.
1533
01:39:29,791 --> 01:39:31,916
It's time for me to do the same.
1534
01:39:31,916 --> 01:39:32,958
Nothing personal.
1535
01:39:34,041 --> 01:39:35,083
Excuse me...
1536
01:39:35,916 --> 01:39:36,875
You're nuts.
1537
01:39:38,666 --> 01:39:39,958
But I'd...
1538
01:42:03,750 --> 01:42:04,708
Good, wasn't it?
1539
01:42:05,208 --> 01:42:06,958
Everyone had a great time.
1540
01:42:08,708 --> 01:42:09,916
Yes, a fine feast.
1541
01:42:12,916 --> 01:42:15,125
So Ka Ra Tay has gone home?
1542
01:42:15,125 --> 01:42:17,041
Sure. It's a long ride.
1543
01:42:19,083 --> 01:42:20,708
She said I'm her true love.
1544
01:42:21,916 --> 01:42:22,916
Did she?
1545
01:42:23,583 --> 01:42:24,416
Wonderful.
1546
01:42:25,583 --> 01:42:26,708
Even so...
1547
01:42:27,291 --> 01:42:28,208
she didn't stay?
1548
01:42:28,208 --> 01:42:30,041
She'd have loved to, but...
1549
01:42:30,541 --> 01:42:33,791
Too much work in China,
lots of responsibility at the palace.
1550
01:42:34,666 --> 01:42:36,291
But there's time, we'll meet again.
1551
01:42:36,791 --> 01:42:37,625
As grown-ups.
1552
01:42:38,750 --> 01:42:39,583
As grown-ups?
1553
01:42:40,166 --> 01:42:41,000
Yes.
1554
01:42:43,541 --> 01:42:45,125
Tired. I'm going to bed.
1555
01:42:50,666 --> 01:42:52,000
One for the road?
1556
01:42:52,000 --> 01:42:53,875
I wouldn't say no.
1557
01:43:03,166 --> 01:43:04,291
My chum!
1558
01:43:20,250 --> 01:43:21,333
{\an8}THE END
1559
01:43:21,333 --> 01:43:23,791
{\an8}
For René Goscinny & Albert Uderzo
1560
01:44:23,250 --> 01:44:24,791
You don't want me to sing?
1561
01:44:29,750 --> 01:44:31,041
I'm gonna sing anyway
1562
01:44:33,125 --> 01:44:34,916
You don't want me to sing?
1563
01:44:36,666 --> 01:44:38,625
You don't want me to sing
1564
01:44:38,625 --> 01:44:39,875
The surprise!
1565
01:44:39,875 --> 01:44:41,625
- What surprise?
- Hold on.
1566
01:44:44,333 --> 01:44:47,208
So what is it? My voice or just me?
1567
01:44:47,208 --> 01:44:49,833
So is it me or my voice?
1568
01:44:50,833 --> 01:44:53,750
So is my voice not right?
It's what you don't like?
1569
01:44:53,750 --> 01:44:55,500
Or is it just me?
1570
01:44:56,250 --> 01:44:58,958
Tell me what's wrong
Always something wrong
1571
01:45:00,250 --> 01:45:02,000
Don't do this, don't do that
1572
01:45:02,000 --> 01:45:04,833
Is it my lyrics or my voice I don't get it
1573
01:45:04,833 --> 01:45:07,750
Don't call me paranoid
You're all against me
1574
01:45:32,916 --> 01:45:34,375
Caesar said,
1575
01:45:34,375 --> 01:45:36,500
"I want it gleaming when I get back."
1576
01:45:37,333 --> 01:45:38,416
So buff!
1577
01:45:39,250 --> 01:45:40,500
Buff, buff, buff!
1578
01:45:42,916 --> 01:45:44,125
That's the spirit!
1579
01:45:47,541 --> 01:45:48,791
You keep Gaul.
1580
01:45:48,791 --> 01:45:50,875
I take China, rest of the world.
1581
01:45:50,875 --> 01:45:52,250
It'll go gangbusters.
1582
01:45:52,250 --> 01:45:54,541
Take it or leave it right now.
1583
01:45:55,125 --> 01:45:56,666
What might go gangbusters?
1584
01:45:56,666 --> 01:45:58,541
- I didn't say that.
- Sure you did.
1585
01:45:58,541 --> 01:46:00,333
Top-notch merchants like me,
1586
01:46:00,333 --> 01:46:03,125
we read your lips
even five kilometers away.
1587
01:46:03,125 --> 01:46:05,125
- Why'd you say that?
- I didn't!
1588
01:46:05,125 --> 01:46:07,416
- You did.
- I'll lash out!
1589
01:46:09,500 --> 01:46:12,375
You know, duckie,
your Julius is no lost cause.
1590
01:46:12,375 --> 01:46:14,875
So just send him a message.
1591
01:46:14,875 --> 01:46:18,000
"I'd go above and beyond,
I'd dye my hair blond..."
1592
01:46:18,000 --> 01:46:20,666
It's in the bag. The rascal will be back.
1593
01:46:21,666 --> 01:46:24,541
You're right.
Why did I ever flip my headdress?
1594
01:46:27,500 --> 01:46:30,416
Flat out. You got a pigeon charger?
1595
01:46:31,000 --> 01:46:32,916
Sit tight, I'll find you one.
1596
01:46:34,208 --> 01:46:36,000
With an Egyptian connector!
1597
01:46:36,791 --> 01:46:38,125
Why Egyptian?
1598
01:46:49,250 --> 01:46:51,750
Are you done making a ruckus?
1599
01:46:52,333 --> 01:46:54,000
We're trying to sleep!
1600
01:46:59,625 --> 01:47:00,541
Sorry.
1601
01:47:04,541 --> 01:47:06,375
Goodnight!
1602
01:47:06,375 --> 01:47:08,625
Goodnight, little Gauls!
1603
01:50:37,458 --> 01:50:39,666
Subtitle translation by Rob.G (2023)
100022