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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:01:05,875 --> 00:01:08,333 ASTERIX & THE MIDDLE KINGDOM 2 00:01:10,791 --> 00:01:12,750 The year is 50 B.C. 3 00:01:13,333 --> 00:01:15,916 All of Gaul is under Roman occupation. 4 00:01:15,916 --> 00:01:17,291 All of it? 5 00:01:17,291 --> 00:01:18,375 No! 6 00:01:18,375 --> 00:01:20,916 One village of indomitable Gauls 7 00:01:20,916 --> 00:01:24,166 keeps up the good fight against the invader. 8 00:01:24,166 --> 00:01:27,833 And life is not easy for the Roman legionaries 9 00:01:27,833 --> 00:01:33,083 in their camps at Totorum, Aquarium, Laudanum and Compendium. 10 00:01:35,916 --> 00:01:38,750 What I love in life 11 00:01:38,750 --> 00:01:41,916 Is wandering day and night 12 00:01:41,916 --> 00:01:44,541 In the forest what's really fun 13 00:01:44,541 --> 00:01:47,750 Is going for a wander with my chum 14 00:01:47,750 --> 00:01:48,875 It rhymes. 15 00:01:49,375 --> 00:01:51,375 Obelix, our lifestyle isn't healthy. 16 00:01:52,375 --> 00:01:53,541 Too much meat. 17 00:01:54,791 --> 00:01:56,291 - Too much meat? - Sure. 18 00:01:56,291 --> 00:01:58,625 Wild boar for breakfast, lunch and dinner. 19 00:01:58,625 --> 00:01:59,875 Supper, too! 20 00:01:59,875 --> 00:02:01,375 Not to mention ale. 21 00:02:01,875 --> 00:02:03,666 It can't be good for us. 22 00:02:03,666 --> 00:02:05,625 What else is there to eat? 23 00:02:05,625 --> 00:02:08,875 I don't know. We could try balancing it out with... 24 00:02:09,791 --> 00:02:10,833 vegetables. 25 00:02:12,500 --> 00:02:13,583 Veg... 26 00:02:13,583 --> 00:02:14,833 Vegetables? 27 00:02:20,416 --> 00:02:22,583 You make me laugh, Asterix. 28 00:02:23,583 --> 00:02:24,750 Hear him, Dogmatix? 29 00:02:25,416 --> 00:02:28,250 Imagine chewing a stick of celery, not a bone! 30 00:02:28,250 --> 00:02:29,291 Vegetables! 31 00:02:29,958 --> 00:02:31,416 You can laugh. 32 00:02:31,416 --> 00:02:35,166 I honestly don't see the point of ruining our health. 33 00:02:35,166 --> 00:02:36,625 Same with the magic potion. 34 00:02:37,583 --> 00:02:39,875 Could be, it's bad for our systems. 35 00:02:39,875 --> 00:02:42,041 Where's the data, honestly? Where? 36 00:02:42,541 --> 00:02:44,416 Above all, do we really need it? 37 00:02:47,291 --> 00:02:48,125 You okay? 38 00:02:48,125 --> 00:02:49,125 No, I'm not okay. 39 00:02:49,625 --> 00:02:52,708 I'm just saying, throwing in a mixed salad, mushrooms... 40 00:02:52,708 --> 00:02:55,583 Chestnuts! When they're in season, obviously. 41 00:03:01,333 --> 00:03:04,083 You snagged one already. Leave the poor things alone. 42 00:03:12,166 --> 00:03:13,791 Peek-a-boo, loopy loolas! 43 00:03:17,416 --> 00:03:19,000 Ave! Sorry, we're lost. 44 00:03:19,000 --> 00:03:21,000 Who knew we're so near the village? 45 00:03:21,000 --> 00:03:23,000 Me. I kept telling you. 46 00:03:23,916 --> 00:03:25,000 - Didn't. - Did. 47 00:03:25,000 --> 00:03:27,500 And you said, "To hell with the Gauls!" 48 00:03:27,500 --> 00:03:29,083 "They get up my nose." 49 00:03:29,083 --> 00:03:30,958 "They can shove their menhirs." 50 00:03:32,208 --> 00:03:33,833 I'm a terrible liar. 51 00:03:35,250 --> 00:03:36,250 Leave this to me. 52 00:03:37,458 --> 00:03:39,583 I'll show you I don't need this. 53 00:03:42,291 --> 00:03:43,541 Strength is here. 54 00:03:43,541 --> 00:03:44,916 And here. 55 00:03:45,708 --> 00:03:48,333 Take a seat, sit tight and enjoy the show. 56 00:03:51,708 --> 00:03:52,708 Hello. 57 00:03:58,291 --> 00:04:00,416 Stupid helmet! I blame the helmet. 58 00:04:00,416 --> 00:04:01,875 You plan to step in? 59 00:04:01,875 --> 00:04:03,458 No, not allowed. 60 00:04:12,708 --> 00:04:13,750 Help me, silly! 61 00:04:13,750 --> 00:04:14,875 Harder! 62 00:04:33,083 --> 00:04:34,041 Not fair! 63 00:04:35,833 --> 00:04:36,666 Cheat! 64 00:04:37,458 --> 00:04:40,416 Not at all. Without it, same result. 65 00:04:47,125 --> 00:04:48,500 You don't have to. 66 00:04:49,708 --> 00:04:50,541 I do. 67 00:04:56,833 --> 00:04:59,791 {\an8}THE MIDDLE KINGDOM 68 00:05:32,541 --> 00:05:33,708 Where is everyone? 69 00:05:34,291 --> 00:05:35,458 It's hardly fresh. 70 00:05:36,083 --> 00:05:37,291 - And you are? - What? 71 00:05:37,291 --> 00:05:38,666 No, nothing. 72 00:05:38,666 --> 00:05:41,916 {\an8}Getafix, he won't let me smoke my boar in the house. 73 00:05:41,916 --> 00:05:45,166 {\an8}Just because Mr. Asterix has decided to quit 74 00:05:45,166 --> 00:05:46,541 doesn't mean I have to. 75 00:05:46,541 --> 00:05:47,791 Panacea! 76 00:05:48,458 --> 00:05:49,708 Panacea! 77 00:05:50,958 --> 00:05:52,041 Morning, girls. 78 00:05:52,583 --> 00:05:54,208 - Coming to the market? - Yes! 79 00:05:57,166 --> 00:05:58,250 Hi, Panacea. 80 00:05:58,250 --> 00:05:59,333 Hi, Obelix. 81 00:06:01,750 --> 00:06:03,208 I just wanted to say... 82 00:06:04,958 --> 00:06:07,458 I carved this menhir thinking of you. It's a gift. 83 00:06:08,250 --> 00:06:10,583 Sweet, but what use is it to me? 84 00:06:15,083 --> 00:06:16,083 See you. 85 00:06:18,250 --> 00:06:19,333 She refused it. 86 00:06:20,375 --> 00:06:21,500 She refused my menhir. 87 00:06:21,500 --> 00:06:23,958 Obviously. It weighs a ton. 88 00:06:23,958 --> 00:06:26,375 What use is it? Put it on her finger? 89 00:06:26,375 --> 00:06:27,541 Getafix, your sickle. 90 00:06:27,541 --> 00:06:29,083 Thanks, Fulliautomatix. 91 00:06:29,083 --> 00:06:30,166 Slow down. 92 00:06:32,958 --> 00:06:33,833 Say... 93 00:06:37,958 --> 00:06:40,750 {\an8}Asterix has the right to change his diet. 94 00:06:40,750 --> 00:06:42,208 {\an8}Not everyone else's. 95 00:06:43,125 --> 00:06:44,458 Getafix, what's wrong? 96 00:06:48,000 --> 00:06:48,958 I'm sinking. 97 00:06:48,958 --> 00:06:50,083 You're sinking? 98 00:06:50,083 --> 00:06:51,666 It must be quicksand. 99 00:06:51,666 --> 00:06:54,333 There is no quicksand in the region. 100 00:06:55,000 --> 00:06:57,083 If you ask me, someone needs to know. 101 00:06:57,958 --> 00:06:59,166 {\an8}Chariot ahoy! 102 00:06:59,750 --> 00:07:01,458 {\an8}Chariot ahoy! 103 00:07:04,791 --> 00:07:05,791 {\an8}Excuse me. 104 00:07:06,750 --> 00:07:10,333 {\an8}Some nights, my voice just wants to scream 105 00:07:10,333 --> 00:07:12,083 Shut it, will you! 106 00:07:18,208 --> 00:07:20,291 {\an8}For once, I had a customer. 107 00:07:20,291 --> 00:07:22,125 {\an8}For once, you have fresh fish! 108 00:07:22,125 --> 00:07:24,583 What? My fish isn't fresh? 109 00:07:31,625 --> 00:07:32,666 {\an8}I'll take a look. 110 00:07:55,750 --> 00:07:59,000 {\an8}for Louise and Marcel 111 00:07:59,500 --> 00:08:00,541 Hold still. 112 00:08:00,541 --> 00:08:03,291 Bankruptis, already here? It's not autumn. 113 00:08:03,291 --> 00:08:04,291 You were hit? 114 00:08:04,291 --> 00:08:07,583 - Where's your uncle? - Quiet, for goodness' sake! 115 00:08:07,583 --> 00:08:09,416 My friends, how are you? 116 00:08:09,916 --> 00:08:12,416 I come from China to ask for help. 117 00:08:13,125 --> 00:08:14,000 It's nuts! 118 00:08:14,000 --> 00:08:15,500 Why are you blond? 119 00:08:15,500 --> 00:08:16,750 I was going to say. 120 00:08:16,750 --> 00:08:19,291 I'm a Gaul, all right? Always have been. 121 00:08:19,291 --> 00:08:20,958 Please... No slip-ups. 122 00:08:20,958 --> 00:08:22,833 No slip-ups, I'm begging you. 123 00:08:22,833 --> 00:08:24,000 I'll explain. Come on. 124 00:08:35,041 --> 00:08:36,000 That one... 125 00:08:36,500 --> 00:08:38,041 The beautiful girl fast asleep 126 00:08:38,041 --> 00:08:39,416 is a princess. 127 00:08:39,416 --> 00:08:42,625 Named Sa See. Daughter of the Empress of China. 128 00:08:45,000 --> 00:08:46,666 You do know where China is? 129 00:08:49,250 --> 00:08:50,958 - Two princesses! - Actually, no. 130 00:08:50,958 --> 00:08:52,958 That's her bodyguard. Ka Ra Tay. 131 00:08:53,541 --> 00:08:56,833 Believe me, she's insane. Smashed everyone on the way. 132 00:08:56,833 --> 00:08:59,791 She smashed Scythians, smashed Parthians, smashed Huns! 133 00:09:00,458 --> 00:09:01,458 A beautiful woman. 134 00:09:01,458 --> 00:09:04,625 A female bodyguard? Don't make me laugh! 135 00:09:04,625 --> 00:09:06,041 Go ahead, laugh. 136 00:09:06,541 --> 00:09:09,541 Share with us your Alpha male experience. 137 00:09:10,708 --> 00:09:12,791 Alpha male, just try to touch her. 138 00:09:12,791 --> 00:09:14,791 - Be my guest. - All right. 139 00:09:20,833 --> 00:09:21,958 There you go! 140 00:09:46,708 --> 00:09:48,041 You drank potion? 141 00:09:48,666 --> 00:09:49,500 No. 142 00:09:50,375 --> 00:09:51,500 I don't get it. 143 00:09:51,500 --> 00:09:53,583 I get what's going on. 144 00:09:54,333 --> 00:09:56,708 And you'd better stop right now. 145 00:09:56,708 --> 00:09:59,958 Princess and I are more than friends, see? 146 00:10:00,625 --> 00:10:01,791 - You are? - We are. 147 00:10:02,333 --> 00:10:03,166 Princess... 148 00:10:06,333 --> 00:10:07,333 We have arrived. 149 00:10:11,500 --> 00:10:12,583 What is all this? 150 00:10:13,291 --> 00:10:15,333 - It's the chief! - Run! 151 00:10:15,833 --> 00:10:18,500 Vitalstatistix is chief of all us Gauls. 152 00:10:19,833 --> 00:10:22,125 Glad to see you, by Toutatis! 153 00:10:22,875 --> 00:10:25,916 Where's your Uncle Ekonomikrisis? His silk scarves are too small. 154 00:10:25,916 --> 00:10:27,208 Really? 155 00:10:27,208 --> 00:10:29,583 He said they'd loosen up. I look loose? 156 00:10:29,583 --> 00:10:30,916 - No. - He's a crook! 157 00:10:32,000 --> 00:10:33,916 He sent me. Let me explain. 158 00:10:34,500 --> 00:10:36,916 Allow me to introduce Princess Sa See, 159 00:10:36,916 --> 00:10:39,458 daughter of the Empress of China. 160 00:10:41,541 --> 00:10:42,958 Who's she? 161 00:10:42,958 --> 00:10:44,666 - Thanks, Bankruptis. - You're welcome. 162 00:10:45,333 --> 00:10:48,958 Great Chief Vitalstatistix, let me explain the reasons for my visit. 163 00:10:48,958 --> 00:10:50,500 Getafix, is China far? 164 00:10:50,500 --> 00:10:53,500 Yes, it's where the sun rises. That way. 165 00:11:00,125 --> 00:11:03,375 Since the Princess's story could be very, very long, 166 00:11:03,375 --> 00:11:05,208 and not devoid of emotion, 167 00:11:05,208 --> 00:11:08,375 allow me to give you a potted version. 168 00:11:08,375 --> 00:11:11,166 The Princess lives with her mother, the Empress, 169 00:11:11,166 --> 00:11:14,500 who reigns with difficulty, since her husband's death, 170 00:11:14,500 --> 00:11:16,250 over her nation's six kingdoms. 171 00:11:16,250 --> 00:11:21,125 Beloved by her people, the Empress is confronted by ambitious princes 172 00:11:21,125 --> 00:11:23,375 who secretly covet her throne. 173 00:11:24,583 --> 00:11:28,208 The trouble began on the birthday of Princess Sa See, 174 00:11:28,208 --> 00:11:30,125 whom you met in the village. 175 00:11:30,125 --> 00:11:31,750 So this is a flashback. 176 00:11:36,208 --> 00:11:37,750 Another vase? 177 00:11:39,291 --> 00:11:42,666 Each year, same deal. Who's interested in Chinese vases? 178 00:11:42,666 --> 00:11:46,791 I'm 20 today, and never left this palace. Just gardens and guards! 179 00:11:46,791 --> 00:11:48,958 Sa See, for your security, you know... 180 00:11:48,958 --> 00:11:53,541 Father promised to take me to Lutetia. Its shops, its taverns... 181 00:11:53,541 --> 00:11:55,000 I want to see Gaul. 182 00:11:55,500 --> 00:11:58,916 We discussed this. It's dangerous to travel so far. 183 00:11:58,916 --> 00:12:00,000 The answer is no. 184 00:12:01,583 --> 00:12:03,083 Here, open this one. 185 00:12:04,875 --> 00:12:08,041 It's a coin with your head on it. Newly minted. 186 00:12:08,666 --> 00:12:10,125 To buy a dress in Lutetia? 187 00:12:11,083 --> 00:12:11,916 Sa See! 188 00:12:19,250 --> 00:12:20,750 Prince Deng Tsin Quin... 189 00:12:24,208 --> 00:12:26,916 I hear you raised taxes again in your kingdom, 190 00:12:26,916 --> 00:12:28,750 while your people endure famine. 191 00:12:28,750 --> 00:12:30,541 If I may, Your Majesty, 192 00:12:30,541 --> 00:12:34,583 Julius Caesar levied taxes across the Roman world, and it works! 193 00:12:34,583 --> 00:12:37,208 No pain, no pleasure, as they say back home. 194 00:12:37,208 --> 00:12:38,541 Who is he? 195 00:12:38,541 --> 00:12:41,500 Scar Dee Kat, my new strategic advisor. 196 00:12:41,500 --> 00:12:44,375 In Rome, he wielded power and influence. 197 00:12:44,875 --> 00:12:48,500 Put the Chinese people before bad Roman advice. 198 00:12:49,083 --> 00:12:51,458 Naturally, Your Imperial Majesty. 199 00:12:52,416 --> 00:12:53,500 Before I leave, 200 00:12:53,500 --> 00:12:56,291 have you considered my marriage proposal? 201 00:12:56,291 --> 00:12:58,000 I spoke with Princess Sa See. 202 00:12:58,000 --> 00:12:59,125 And? 203 00:12:59,833 --> 00:13:01,083 It made us laugh. 204 00:13:04,041 --> 00:13:05,708 Make a woman laugh and... 205 00:13:07,791 --> 00:13:08,833 Sorry. 206 00:13:09,416 --> 00:13:12,041 If it made Your Majesty and her daughter laugh, 207 00:13:12,041 --> 00:13:13,416 then so be it. 208 00:13:19,625 --> 00:13:20,458 Ka Ra Tay... 209 00:13:24,083 --> 00:13:25,500 My faithful warrior, 210 00:13:26,083 --> 00:13:27,291 fetch my daughter. 211 00:13:50,958 --> 00:13:52,416 This is China. 212 00:13:52,958 --> 00:13:56,208 The Chinese love all things Gaul, so we're Gauls. Simple. 213 00:13:56,208 --> 00:13:58,708 For a Phoenician, it's humiliating, Ekonomikrisis. 214 00:13:59,916 --> 00:14:01,125 Ekonomikrisix! 215 00:14:01,125 --> 00:14:03,208 Get it into your head! 216 00:14:03,208 --> 00:14:05,625 You guys are Premix and Overmix. 217 00:14:06,125 --> 00:14:07,500 We are Gauls. 218 00:14:07,500 --> 00:14:08,500 Gotix? 219 00:14:08,500 --> 00:14:10,416 As usual, we make all the efforts. 220 00:14:11,125 --> 00:14:12,000 Only you? 221 00:14:15,208 --> 00:14:16,833 Laugh? You're laughing? 222 00:14:16,833 --> 00:14:19,125 Am I laughing about going blond? 223 00:14:19,791 --> 00:14:22,333 Grab those papyri and hit the streets. Move! 224 00:14:22,333 --> 00:14:24,458 Go, yalla! I mean, let's go. 225 00:14:24,458 --> 00:14:26,458 Put those helmets on! There! 226 00:14:27,041 --> 00:14:28,083 Let's go! 227 00:14:28,083 --> 00:14:29,416 China is ours! 228 00:14:31,083 --> 00:14:32,166 No snooping. 229 00:14:32,750 --> 00:14:34,208 You need help? 230 00:14:34,208 --> 00:14:35,750 Touch it, buy it. Golden rule. 231 00:14:36,625 --> 00:14:37,958 They're genuine Louboutix? 232 00:14:37,958 --> 00:14:39,666 "They're genuine Louboutix?" 233 00:14:39,666 --> 00:14:42,375 Of course they are. Look at the sole! 234 00:14:42,375 --> 00:14:46,250 As red as the price tag. If you can't afford them, try Diskountos. 235 00:14:47,958 --> 00:14:50,958 Give my stall some space. Scram! 236 00:14:51,875 --> 00:14:53,041 You nincompoop! 237 00:14:53,875 --> 00:14:55,375 Sorry, Her Majesty. 238 00:14:55,375 --> 00:14:57,000 Sorry for my nephew. 239 00:14:57,000 --> 00:14:59,666 He has his mother's temper. 240 00:14:59,666 --> 00:15:01,166 True, everybody says so. 241 00:15:01,166 --> 00:15:04,166 Of course, for you, sandals are on the house. 242 00:15:04,166 --> 00:15:06,416 I'll take them out of his wages. 243 00:15:06,416 --> 00:15:08,583 - That hurt. - Yup. Your fault. 244 00:15:08,583 --> 00:15:10,666 Ekonomikrisix, at your service. 245 00:15:11,291 --> 00:15:13,125 No one shakes hands here. 246 00:15:13,125 --> 00:15:14,791 - No one. - Not one. 247 00:15:14,791 --> 00:15:17,791 A most regrettable mistake, Princess. 248 00:15:18,541 --> 00:15:19,500 Gorgeous. 249 00:15:21,916 --> 00:15:23,541 Bankruptix, the nephew. 250 00:15:23,541 --> 00:15:25,833 I have my mother's temper. 251 00:15:25,833 --> 00:15:26,916 As well as... 252 00:15:27,666 --> 00:15:28,666 her eyes. 253 00:15:31,541 --> 00:15:33,166 I envy you your blond hair. 254 00:15:33,833 --> 00:15:37,083 I had no choice, Princess. I was born this way. 255 00:15:37,083 --> 00:15:38,833 Nature decided for me. 256 00:15:38,833 --> 00:15:40,750 Your Imperial Majesty, 257 00:15:40,750 --> 00:15:46,208 if you'd care to forgive us and taste our famous nectar from Gaul, 258 00:15:46,208 --> 00:15:47,500 the honour's all ours. 259 00:15:48,625 --> 00:15:49,625 Come in. 260 00:15:50,750 --> 00:15:51,833 A great vintage. 261 00:15:51,833 --> 00:15:55,000 To celebrate the great and majestic empress. 262 00:15:56,500 --> 00:15:58,166 On the nose, fruity notes. 263 00:15:58,708 --> 00:15:59,791 There's sunshine. 264 00:16:00,750 --> 00:16:02,208 There's pine and shade. 265 00:16:02,208 --> 00:16:04,416 I'm getting hints of chestnut. 266 00:16:04,416 --> 00:16:05,625 Bananas. 267 00:16:05,625 --> 00:16:07,291 And dates. 268 00:16:07,291 --> 00:16:10,416 Overall, more fruit salad than wine. 269 00:16:14,708 --> 00:16:16,041 I want Gaul of it 270 00:16:25,625 --> 00:16:26,666 I'll take the lot. 271 00:16:30,083 --> 00:16:31,333 Perfumes from Gaul? 272 00:16:31,333 --> 00:16:33,250 But of course, Princess. 273 00:16:33,250 --> 00:16:35,250 All our perfumes come from Gaul. 274 00:16:35,250 --> 00:16:36,791 Like me and my sales team. 275 00:16:38,125 --> 00:16:39,875 This is the latest creation 276 00:16:39,875 --> 00:16:42,791 that every Gaul lady would die for. Amphor. 277 00:16:43,375 --> 00:16:44,333 Amphor? 278 00:16:44,833 --> 00:16:45,916 I adore! 279 00:16:45,916 --> 00:16:47,250 I adore, too. 280 00:16:47,250 --> 00:16:48,666 Archers! Loose! 281 00:16:48,666 --> 00:16:49,708 Watch out! 282 00:16:57,666 --> 00:16:59,083 Sa See, are you hurt? 283 00:16:59,083 --> 00:17:00,500 No, mother, I'm fine. 284 00:17:00,500 --> 00:17:01,416 Anything broken? 285 00:17:01,416 --> 00:17:03,208 No, I'm fine. 286 00:17:03,208 --> 00:17:04,583 I meant the stock. 287 00:17:04,583 --> 00:17:05,666 Nice. 288 00:17:05,666 --> 00:17:07,083 Hey, Empress! 289 00:17:07,083 --> 00:17:08,416 Come out, hands up! 290 00:17:08,416 --> 00:17:10,625 And no one will get hurt. 291 00:17:11,166 --> 00:17:12,250 You're encircled. 292 00:17:12,250 --> 00:17:13,583 And slanted! 293 00:17:15,833 --> 00:17:18,625 You said "encircled", like eyes with makeup. 294 00:17:18,625 --> 00:17:20,083 And I added "And..." 295 00:17:24,541 --> 00:17:25,541 There's another exit? 296 00:17:25,541 --> 00:17:27,208 Yes. My secret passage. 297 00:17:27,208 --> 00:17:29,166 In case customs raid... 298 00:17:29,166 --> 00:17:30,916 I mean, in case of fire. 299 00:17:30,916 --> 00:17:32,625 It's the fire escape. 300 00:17:33,500 --> 00:17:35,750 Ka Ra Tay, take my daughter and go. 301 00:17:35,750 --> 00:17:37,541 No, Mother. Flee with us. 302 00:17:37,541 --> 00:17:39,666 The Empress of China does not flee. Go! 303 00:17:39,666 --> 00:17:41,291 The traitor wants you. 304 00:17:41,791 --> 00:17:42,625 Let's go. 305 00:17:44,416 --> 00:17:45,791 - Bye, Princess. - Stop it! 306 00:17:45,791 --> 00:17:49,000 I'll stay. A good merchant never abandons his merchandise. 307 00:17:49,000 --> 00:17:50,458 Like a ship's captain. 308 00:17:52,416 --> 00:17:53,791 Go home and fetch the others. 309 00:17:53,791 --> 00:17:55,166 What? Uncle Mahmood? 310 00:17:55,166 --> 00:17:57,000 No! Our other home. 311 00:17:57,000 --> 00:17:58,375 - That home? - That home! 312 00:17:58,375 --> 00:17:59,416 It's miles away! 313 00:17:59,416 --> 00:18:00,541 So get going! 314 00:18:01,666 --> 00:18:02,625 No, wait! 315 00:18:03,291 --> 00:18:05,000 Take good care of the princess. 316 00:18:05,000 --> 00:18:06,541 We are not losing this sale. 317 00:18:06,541 --> 00:18:10,041 Just imagine. You're saving the Princess of China. 318 00:18:17,625 --> 00:18:19,000 I'll work it out later. 319 00:18:19,000 --> 00:18:20,208 Take care, Unc! 320 00:18:25,250 --> 00:18:27,375 I trained in Phoenician boxing. 321 00:18:27,375 --> 00:18:28,458 Leave this to me. 322 00:18:29,416 --> 00:18:31,666 So you guys are harassing the ladies? 323 00:18:37,166 --> 00:18:39,041 I went in there and... 324 00:18:40,208 --> 00:18:41,375 What happened? 325 00:18:41,375 --> 00:18:43,166 You got kicked in the head. 326 00:18:43,833 --> 00:18:45,583 All right, I get it now. 327 00:18:45,583 --> 00:18:47,708 So who's laughing now, Empress? 328 00:18:47,708 --> 00:18:49,916 Excuse me a second, who are you? 329 00:18:49,916 --> 00:18:53,208 I don't get any of this. I'm confused, totally lost. 330 00:18:54,250 --> 00:18:56,250 - Well? - The Princess has vanished. 331 00:18:56,250 --> 00:18:58,708 If she's hiding, she's a smart cookie! 332 00:18:59,208 --> 00:19:01,166 A shifty little fish! 333 00:19:02,333 --> 00:19:03,375 Scour the kingdom! 334 00:19:03,375 --> 00:19:04,916 Offer a handsome reward! 335 00:19:04,916 --> 00:19:08,166 I want her alive at our magnificent forced marriage! 336 00:19:10,750 --> 00:19:12,000 I know my daughter. 337 00:19:12,500 --> 00:19:13,916 She'll come for revenge. 338 00:19:13,916 --> 00:19:17,166 Scary! A spoilt little girl who never left home. 339 00:19:17,166 --> 00:19:19,333 - That's my wife you're talking about. - Sorry. 340 00:19:19,333 --> 00:19:23,333 I'm sorry too. I'm so confused, totally lost! 341 00:19:23,333 --> 00:19:25,333 I'll have you beheaded, Empress. 342 00:19:25,333 --> 00:19:28,333 No, there'll be no beheading. It's rude, sir. 343 00:19:28,333 --> 00:19:31,125 Yes, Deng Tsin Quin, you can't kill the Empress. 344 00:19:31,125 --> 00:19:32,500 What? 345 00:19:32,500 --> 00:19:35,750 It's tricky. The other four kingdoms' princes hate you. 346 00:19:35,750 --> 00:19:38,250 They claim you're not Emperor material. 347 00:19:38,250 --> 00:19:41,541 They say you are "physically unbecoming with a tiny..." 348 00:19:41,541 --> 00:19:43,208 - Nonsense. - No, army! 349 00:19:43,708 --> 00:19:46,125 A tiny army. The tiniest of all of them. 350 00:19:46,125 --> 00:19:48,000 In combat, it's hopeless. 351 00:19:48,000 --> 00:19:50,750 Your impudence suggests you have a plan. 352 00:19:50,750 --> 00:19:52,000 Naturally. 353 00:19:53,166 --> 00:19:54,208 My idea... 354 00:19:56,166 --> 00:19:57,958 Take them away! Let's go! 355 00:19:57,958 --> 00:19:59,250 Take it easy! 356 00:19:59,250 --> 00:20:02,041 Easy! Mind the Empress and my wares. 357 00:20:02,041 --> 00:20:04,041 China is ours! 358 00:20:35,958 --> 00:20:37,500 Princess, it'll be fine. 359 00:20:37,500 --> 00:20:38,625 I'm here for you. 360 00:20:39,791 --> 00:20:40,875 I'm here. 361 00:20:42,875 --> 00:20:44,416 Don't worry. We'll help you. 362 00:20:44,416 --> 00:20:48,125 Everyone knows that we Gauls just love to help. 363 00:20:48,125 --> 00:20:49,041 No! 364 00:20:51,541 --> 00:20:52,625 Not a chance. 365 00:20:53,166 --> 00:20:55,458 Was it just me or did her story drag on? 366 00:20:56,833 --> 00:21:00,916 By Benelos, how come folks always come asking us for help? 367 00:21:01,583 --> 00:21:02,916 Vitalstatistix, 368 00:21:02,916 --> 00:21:04,291 it's a tradition 369 00:21:04,291 --> 00:21:06,416 for us to help those in need. 370 00:21:07,000 --> 00:21:09,083 Not forgetting Bankrup... 371 00:21:09,791 --> 00:21:10,708 Tis. 372 00:21:10,708 --> 00:21:12,083 Bankruptix. 373 00:21:12,625 --> 00:21:14,041 The answer's no. There! 374 00:21:14,041 --> 00:21:15,583 It's often been yes. 375 00:21:15,583 --> 00:21:16,500 But it's no. 376 00:21:17,166 --> 00:21:18,583 I'm not feeling it. 377 00:21:18,583 --> 00:21:20,083 China's unknown to us. 378 00:21:20,083 --> 00:21:21,833 We don't know where it is. 379 00:21:21,833 --> 00:21:22,791 Sure we do. 380 00:21:22,791 --> 00:21:23,875 Even I know. 381 00:21:24,375 --> 00:21:27,041 It's the way where the sun rises. 382 00:21:27,791 --> 00:21:29,041 Stumped him. 383 00:21:29,541 --> 00:21:31,250 I don't know and I decide. 384 00:21:31,250 --> 00:21:33,333 Great Chief, I respect your decision. 385 00:21:33,333 --> 00:21:35,833 I depart to save my mother and country. 386 00:21:35,833 --> 00:21:37,166 Princess! 387 00:21:39,875 --> 00:21:41,083 I'm up for it. 388 00:21:41,625 --> 00:21:44,375 And anyway, I'm free right now. 389 00:21:45,541 --> 00:21:46,833 I'm free too. 390 00:21:46,833 --> 00:21:48,625 I want to go too. 391 00:21:48,625 --> 00:21:50,791 You two! Who's in the chair? 392 00:21:52,083 --> 00:21:53,458 You're chief now? 393 00:21:54,041 --> 00:21:55,916 Discussion over. It's no. 394 00:21:55,916 --> 00:21:57,916 Are you out of your mind? 395 00:21:58,625 --> 00:22:00,208 Some village chief! 396 00:22:00,708 --> 00:22:02,583 Ignoring a damsel's tears. 397 00:22:02,583 --> 00:22:04,583 - Mimenta... - Don't Mimenta me! 398 00:22:04,583 --> 00:22:07,458 - Welcome our Chinese friends! - Yup. 399 00:22:08,041 --> 00:22:09,083 You and your Gaul! 400 00:22:09,833 --> 00:22:11,375 All because it's too far? 401 00:22:11,375 --> 00:22:13,208 As if you'd be going! 402 00:22:14,583 --> 00:22:17,000 No, it's Asterix and Obelix, as usual. 403 00:22:18,583 --> 00:22:20,958 If some idiot writes our history one day, 404 00:22:20,958 --> 00:22:24,416 the title will never be The Adventures of Vitalstatistix the Gaul. 405 00:22:24,416 --> 00:22:26,166 Dogmatix travels more than you. 406 00:22:27,000 --> 00:22:28,125 Hear that, Dogmatix? 407 00:22:30,916 --> 00:22:32,125 Stones fired! 408 00:22:32,125 --> 00:22:35,541 Magic potion for the boys in the village, you're in. 409 00:22:35,541 --> 00:22:38,000 But anything more delicate, you're out? 410 00:22:47,208 --> 00:22:48,208 All right, go. 411 00:22:51,291 --> 00:22:53,041 Thank you. Heartfelt thanks. 412 00:22:53,833 --> 00:22:57,333 So you're starting on a journey 413 00:22:58,166 --> 00:23:00,416 So we're parting tonight 414 00:23:02,458 --> 00:23:03,750 My heart has turned to... 415 00:23:03,750 --> 00:23:04,791 jelly 416 00:23:13,416 --> 00:23:17,375 Meanwhile, in the eternal, beautifully irrigated city of Rome, 417 00:23:17,375 --> 00:23:20,500 Julius Caesar, in his magnificent palace, 418 00:23:20,500 --> 00:23:23,958 lives in domestic bliss with the powerful Queen of Egypt, 419 00:23:23,958 --> 00:23:26,583 sublime, dulcet Cleopatra. 420 00:23:26,583 --> 00:23:28,250 I've had it up to here! 421 00:23:28,250 --> 00:23:31,125 Know what? I've had it up to here! 422 00:23:36,416 --> 00:23:37,875 May I ask what you're doing? 423 00:23:37,875 --> 00:23:40,416 Packing my trunks and heading home. 424 00:23:40,416 --> 00:23:42,125 Why didn't I listen to Mummy? 425 00:23:43,625 --> 00:23:46,458 Now it's over, I can tell you. There's another man. 426 00:23:46,458 --> 00:23:47,916 What do you mean? 427 00:23:49,541 --> 00:23:51,000 You can't be serious. 428 00:23:52,333 --> 00:23:54,416 What do you mean, another man? 429 00:23:55,083 --> 00:23:57,791 What is this? Infidelitatis? 430 00:23:57,791 --> 00:23:58,750 Nailed it. 431 00:24:00,875 --> 00:24:01,791 And... 432 00:24:03,333 --> 00:24:06,208 May I ask for whom you leave mighty Caesar? 433 00:24:07,583 --> 00:24:08,791 Tabascos! 434 00:24:10,125 --> 00:24:10,958 Tabascos? 435 00:24:10,958 --> 00:24:12,083 The Greek? 436 00:24:15,708 --> 00:24:17,791 Tabascos the Greek! 437 00:24:17,791 --> 00:24:20,750 So you'd leave mighty Caesar 438 00:24:22,333 --> 00:24:24,291 to shack up with a gym teacher? 439 00:24:25,916 --> 00:24:28,708 Well, we'll discuss this after the lions. 440 00:24:29,708 --> 00:24:31,666 I forbid you to harm him. 441 00:24:32,708 --> 00:24:34,291 I love him, you hear? 442 00:24:35,041 --> 00:24:36,000 You love him? 443 00:24:37,416 --> 00:24:38,625 You love him? 444 00:24:40,166 --> 00:24:41,458 What's he got that I don't? 445 00:24:41,458 --> 00:24:43,791 He's an international gymnast. 446 00:24:43,791 --> 00:24:46,375 Outside Rome and Gaul, you're a complete unknown. 447 00:24:48,500 --> 00:24:50,583 A complete unknown? Julius Caesar? 448 00:24:51,208 --> 00:24:55,000 Fine. You have international ambitions? Go with your athlete. 449 00:24:55,000 --> 00:24:57,666 {\an8}Let the Greek tsat your ziki! 450 00:24:59,375 --> 00:25:01,208 May I, O Caesar? 451 00:25:01,208 --> 00:25:03,958 Minor marital contretemps. All settled. 452 00:25:04,750 --> 00:25:08,750 Speak, Slius Foxxus, devious and unsightly advisor of mine. 453 00:25:08,750 --> 00:25:09,666 Ave, Caesar! 454 00:25:09,666 --> 00:25:12,458 Your perspicacity captures me perfectly. 455 00:25:20,750 --> 00:25:22,625 May I introduce Scar Dee Kat, 456 00:25:22,625 --> 00:25:27,083 envoy of Prince Deng Tsin Quin, the new master of China. 457 00:25:27,083 --> 00:25:30,750 How does an empire so big have an advisor so small? 458 00:25:31,333 --> 00:25:34,041 Size doesn't matter, skill does, Caesar. 459 00:25:34,041 --> 00:25:35,791 Some men have neither. 460 00:25:39,041 --> 00:25:40,208 She's a looker. 461 00:25:40,708 --> 00:25:41,583 Well, half-pint? 462 00:25:41,583 --> 00:25:45,625 I come to offer you the riches of my adopted land 463 00:25:45,625 --> 00:25:48,125 in return for modest military support. 464 00:25:48,125 --> 00:25:51,750 Your land? Even great Alexander abandoned the conquest of China. 465 00:25:51,750 --> 00:25:55,833 A great opportunity to expand my empire. Your empire, O Caesar! 466 00:25:55,833 --> 00:25:58,041 I have conquered enough. 467 00:25:58,041 --> 00:26:01,416 My name will go down in the annals of history. 468 00:26:01,416 --> 00:26:04,125 I love when you say that. Love it! 469 00:26:04,125 --> 00:26:06,458 What a way with words. Right? 470 00:26:06,458 --> 00:26:08,583 Biopix, my Gallician biographer. 471 00:26:08,583 --> 00:26:12,708 How inspiring is the fabulous tale of almighty Caesar! 472 00:26:12,708 --> 00:26:14,208 Vade retro, both of you. 473 00:26:14,208 --> 00:26:15,833 Caesar, may I point out, 474 00:26:15,833 --> 00:26:17,625 in terms of going down in history, 475 00:26:18,125 --> 00:26:20,208 in China, you are unknown. 476 00:26:20,208 --> 00:26:21,791 What was I saying? 477 00:26:23,166 --> 00:26:25,041 That's quite enough! 478 00:26:26,458 --> 00:26:28,958 I, Julius Caesar, man of a thousand conquests? 479 00:26:28,958 --> 00:26:30,333 Unknown? 480 00:26:30,333 --> 00:26:31,416 Alas! 481 00:26:43,250 --> 00:26:44,791 He speaks the truth. 482 00:26:44,791 --> 00:26:46,041 In China, at least. 483 00:26:46,041 --> 00:26:48,458 It's all good, don't worry. 484 00:26:48,958 --> 00:26:52,500 Scar Dee Kat, step forward to discuss our alliance 485 00:26:53,000 --> 00:26:54,041 with your land 486 00:26:54,041 --> 00:26:56,333 that will soon know my name! 487 00:26:58,666 --> 00:27:02,166 Explain clearly. Be sure not to toss Caesar a salad. 488 00:27:06,458 --> 00:27:09,000 I swapped your clunker for something tougher. 489 00:27:09,000 --> 00:27:12,291 That's what I call a chariot. Unbeatable! On loan from cousin Turbo. 490 00:27:12,875 --> 00:27:14,208 I added boar stomachs. 491 00:27:15,416 --> 00:27:17,916 A kind of air cushion to absorb shocks. 492 00:27:19,000 --> 00:27:20,125 The sunroof! 493 00:27:21,416 --> 00:27:22,583 You know what? 494 00:27:22,583 --> 00:27:24,041 I made a perfect chariot. 495 00:27:24,541 --> 00:27:25,458 Magnificent. 496 00:27:29,916 --> 00:27:30,791 Let's go! 497 00:27:32,416 --> 00:27:34,458 Princess, if you'd care to board. 498 00:27:38,708 --> 00:27:39,541 Too bad. 499 00:27:41,458 --> 00:27:42,791 We'll have a great trip. 500 00:27:44,625 --> 00:27:48,041 Asterix, I made you a flask of magic potion, 501 00:27:48,041 --> 00:27:51,375 but Obelix tells me you don't need it, so I... 502 00:27:51,375 --> 00:27:53,250 No, that's fine. 503 00:27:56,125 --> 00:27:57,291 But just in case. 504 00:27:58,875 --> 00:28:00,208 I'm cutting down. 505 00:28:00,208 --> 00:28:02,625 Watch out, I beefed it up. 506 00:28:08,791 --> 00:28:09,875 You had some? 507 00:28:11,125 --> 00:28:12,791 No, just a quick taste. 508 00:28:12,791 --> 00:28:14,166 Just to see. 509 00:28:16,875 --> 00:28:18,125 Good luck, Princess. 510 00:28:18,875 --> 00:28:19,750 As for you two, 511 00:28:20,250 --> 00:28:22,166 be brave, reckless 512 00:28:22,166 --> 00:28:24,666 and disingenuous. In a word... 513 00:28:25,166 --> 00:28:26,166 Be Gauls! 514 00:28:28,291 --> 00:28:29,333 Hold on tight. 515 00:28:29,833 --> 00:28:32,666 It'll be much faster than on the way here. 516 00:28:35,375 --> 00:28:37,791 Sorry but can I just point out, 517 00:28:38,458 --> 00:28:42,375 the bard's role is to celebrate heroes and their exploits? 518 00:28:43,833 --> 00:28:46,083 If I never travel, what am I? 519 00:28:47,583 --> 00:28:48,500 Excellent idea. 520 00:28:49,416 --> 00:28:50,958 Cacophonix will go with... 521 00:28:56,000 --> 00:28:57,541 They forgot me. 522 00:28:58,375 --> 00:29:01,333 They forgot me! 523 00:29:06,916 --> 00:29:10,250 And so, at high speed, our friends head south, 524 00:29:10,250 --> 00:29:13,833 favouring the maritime route that, according to Getafix, 525 00:29:13,833 --> 00:29:15,833 is faster than the Silk Road. 526 00:29:16,583 --> 00:29:19,291 Having rowed across the Mediterranean, 527 00:29:19,291 --> 00:29:20,666 thanks to Obelix, 528 00:29:20,666 --> 00:29:22,875 they reach northern Africa. 529 00:29:29,458 --> 00:29:30,958 Rub and wring. 530 00:29:31,541 --> 00:29:33,416 Ka Ra Tay, I asked to learn kung fu. 531 00:29:36,291 --> 00:29:37,416 Rub... 532 00:29:38,458 --> 00:29:39,625 and wring. 533 00:29:46,583 --> 00:29:47,791 No, not again. 534 00:29:49,375 --> 00:29:51,291 All good? Enjoying the show? 535 00:29:51,291 --> 00:29:54,083 Want a beer? A chair? Coming right up. 536 00:29:55,208 --> 00:29:57,833 Not coming up! What are you doing? 537 00:29:57,833 --> 00:29:58,958 Same as you. 538 00:29:58,958 --> 00:30:00,791 She knows you peep? 539 00:30:00,791 --> 00:30:02,166 I might tell her. 540 00:30:05,875 --> 00:30:06,708 Sublime! 541 00:30:07,625 --> 00:30:09,416 She's learning to do laundry 542 00:30:09,416 --> 00:30:12,958 to prepare for her new, tougher life in Gaul with me. 543 00:30:13,958 --> 00:30:16,708 A Chinese princess in Gaul? With those hicks? 544 00:30:16,708 --> 00:30:17,791 Don't make me laugh. 545 00:30:18,291 --> 00:30:21,375 When I say Sa See and I are together, you turn Deaf? 546 00:30:21,375 --> 00:30:24,708 - You're not together. - We are together. Six months now. 547 00:30:24,708 --> 00:30:25,791 Really? 548 00:30:26,416 --> 00:30:27,666 No way! 549 00:30:27,666 --> 00:30:29,583 My friends, once and for all, 550 00:30:29,583 --> 00:30:32,625 Sa See and I are serious. It's love. And marriage. 551 00:30:33,875 --> 00:30:35,958 - Congrats, Bankruptis. - Thank you. 552 00:30:35,958 --> 00:30:37,791 I love weddings. Love them. 553 00:30:37,791 --> 00:30:39,708 - With a banquet? - Of course. 554 00:30:39,708 --> 00:30:42,000 Know what? You'll be my best man. 555 00:30:43,000 --> 00:30:45,125 Thank you. I was never anyone's best man. 556 00:30:45,125 --> 00:30:48,125 Can you stop being so gullible? 557 00:30:48,125 --> 00:30:49,416 It gets annoying. 558 00:30:49,416 --> 00:30:52,041 - If they're in love, don't blame me. - Yup. 559 00:30:52,041 --> 00:30:53,583 They're not in love. 560 00:30:53,583 --> 00:30:56,125 If Sa See isn't with anyone, she's with no one. 561 00:30:56,125 --> 00:30:57,333 It's on. 562 00:30:57,333 --> 00:31:00,583 I can't wait to see her face when I tell her 563 00:31:01,333 --> 00:31:03,541 you're a phony Gaul and fake blonde. 564 00:31:03,541 --> 00:31:07,958 Yeah? Well, I can't wait to see her face when I tell her your moustache... 565 00:31:07,958 --> 00:31:09,458 What about it? 566 00:31:09,458 --> 00:31:10,708 Your moustache... 567 00:31:11,875 --> 00:31:12,916 sucks. 568 00:31:16,166 --> 00:31:17,083 So lame. 569 00:31:19,916 --> 00:31:20,833 I went too far. 570 00:31:20,833 --> 00:31:22,083 Not the moustache! 571 00:31:22,083 --> 00:31:23,666 I know, but he pushes me. 572 00:31:23,666 --> 00:31:25,541 Sure but not the moustache! 573 00:31:26,541 --> 00:31:27,458 What's he doing? 574 00:31:28,208 --> 00:31:30,458 Unbelievable! He's snitching on us! 575 00:31:30,458 --> 00:31:32,583 He's something else, your friend! 576 00:31:32,583 --> 00:31:33,625 She's coming our way. 577 00:31:36,375 --> 00:31:37,250 What's up? 578 00:31:37,250 --> 00:31:40,625 Nothing. We're just looking for a date. 579 00:31:41,666 --> 00:31:42,875 For the wedding. 580 00:31:42,875 --> 00:31:44,666 No, to eat. The fruit! 581 00:31:44,666 --> 00:31:45,708 At the wedding. 582 00:31:45,708 --> 00:31:47,083 No, to eat here. 583 00:31:47,083 --> 00:31:48,166 I'm the best man! 584 00:31:48,750 --> 00:31:51,333 He's impossible. He talks nonsense. 585 00:31:52,750 --> 00:31:53,875 Yes, let's go. 586 00:31:56,041 --> 00:31:58,041 Is it so hard to let me do the talking? 587 00:32:04,250 --> 00:32:05,750 'Night, Smartypants! 588 00:32:07,291 --> 00:32:08,875 'Night, Two-Faced Friend! 589 00:32:10,458 --> 00:32:11,666 'Night, Veggie Lover! 590 00:32:12,250 --> 00:32:14,916 Veggies are yummy. So yummy! 591 00:32:14,916 --> 00:32:16,625 'Night, Fake Blonde! 592 00:32:16,625 --> 00:32:19,125 Can't you just say goodnight? 593 00:32:20,166 --> 00:32:21,208 It was him. 594 00:32:21,208 --> 00:32:22,541 'Night, Ka Ra Tay. 595 00:32:28,791 --> 00:32:30,916 You think Mother's still alive? 596 00:32:30,916 --> 00:32:34,375 The Empress is the daughter of the heavens. 597 00:32:34,875 --> 00:32:36,083 No harm can come to her. 598 00:32:39,916 --> 00:32:42,291 'Night, I'm In Love and can't admit it! 599 00:32:42,291 --> 00:32:46,083 'Night, Poppycock who's so fat that he's all belly! 600 00:32:46,083 --> 00:32:49,875 'Night, Lonesome Gaul, so alone like a tiny insect! 601 00:32:50,375 --> 00:32:52,041 - Enough! - Yes. 602 00:32:52,041 --> 00:32:53,041 Sorry. 603 00:33:13,333 --> 00:33:15,875 Hello, how are you? 604 00:33:15,875 --> 00:33:17,250 Good trip? 605 00:33:33,083 --> 00:33:36,166 Your daughter's vanished. We looked too long in a land too big. 606 00:33:36,166 --> 00:33:38,791 Hello perhaps? There's two of us. 607 00:33:38,791 --> 00:33:42,250 When military support arrives, off with your head. 608 00:33:42,250 --> 00:33:46,666 I remember now. You're the guy who loves beheading folks. 609 00:33:46,666 --> 00:33:47,750 You too, merchant. 610 00:33:48,333 --> 00:33:51,041 No, leave me out of this. We really need to... 611 00:33:51,041 --> 00:33:52,458 Balls for you! 612 00:33:57,416 --> 00:33:58,458 Day one. 613 00:33:59,083 --> 00:34:02,250 When no balls are left, if the princess won't show, 614 00:34:03,916 --> 00:34:04,750 you two... 615 00:34:07,625 --> 00:34:08,791 We have two lives. 616 00:34:08,791 --> 00:34:11,875 The second begins when we see we have only one. 617 00:34:13,541 --> 00:34:14,500 I thank you. 618 00:34:18,333 --> 00:34:20,250 That's what I call an Empress. 619 00:34:20,833 --> 00:34:21,708 Love it. 620 00:34:21,708 --> 00:34:24,458 We have two lives and it ends when... 621 00:34:24,458 --> 00:34:26,708 The second life begins with... 622 00:34:28,291 --> 00:34:31,125 We have two lives and when they begin... 623 00:34:31,958 --> 00:34:32,958 I thank you. 624 00:34:39,750 --> 00:34:40,708 Meanwhile, 625 00:34:40,708 --> 00:34:43,708 Caesar, his immense army and Scar Dee Kat 626 00:34:43,708 --> 00:34:47,375 travel the Silk Road, headed at top speed for China. 627 00:34:47,375 --> 00:34:48,541 Or almost. 628 00:34:50,125 --> 00:34:51,333 This is the Silk Road? 629 00:34:51,333 --> 00:34:53,750 We're lost, aren't we? Just admit it. 630 00:34:54,416 --> 00:34:56,458 Woopsus, what is this route? 631 00:34:56,458 --> 00:34:59,250 At least 9,000 men struck northwards. 632 00:34:59,250 --> 00:35:00,916 I can't work like this. 633 00:35:00,916 --> 00:35:02,416 It's just impossible! 634 00:35:03,208 --> 00:35:05,041 Join the army, they said! 635 00:35:09,208 --> 00:35:11,416 Woopsus, your call, left or right? 636 00:35:11,416 --> 00:35:13,500 Easy-peasy papyrus, Caesar. Left. 637 00:35:13,500 --> 00:35:14,750 So we'll go right. 638 00:35:15,291 --> 00:35:18,333 Sorry, will this go on long? Left-right, right-left... 639 00:35:18,333 --> 00:35:21,041 We'll reach China on the 12th of Never. 640 00:35:21,041 --> 00:35:22,500 The upstart! 641 00:35:22,500 --> 00:35:24,291 Hail! Risklus, imperial security. 642 00:35:25,000 --> 00:35:26,750 Risklus, imperial security. 643 00:35:28,625 --> 00:35:32,416 Risklus! Everyone knows you here. Where is Antivirus? 644 00:35:32,416 --> 00:35:34,625 Still on the campaign in Milan. 645 00:35:34,625 --> 00:35:36,583 He's not reading my pigeons. 646 00:35:38,250 --> 00:35:39,500 Caesar, I'm here. 647 00:35:40,458 --> 00:35:43,250 - It's not the same. - Not at all the same. 648 00:35:43,250 --> 00:35:44,500 What do you want? 649 00:35:45,041 --> 00:35:48,583 Almighty Caesar, Carioca, head dancer, wants an audience. 650 00:35:48,583 --> 00:35:51,416 She has demands. For respect or something. 651 00:35:51,416 --> 00:35:52,375 I beat her? 652 00:35:53,125 --> 00:35:54,000 Are you nuts? 653 00:35:54,708 --> 00:35:55,750 Show her in. 654 00:35:59,166 --> 00:36:00,000 Tapioca! 655 00:36:06,500 --> 00:36:08,625 So, Carioca, what do you want? 656 00:36:08,625 --> 00:36:12,583 Caesar, we received new outfits and what do we see? 657 00:36:12,583 --> 00:36:14,750 Shorter than ever. What a surprise! 658 00:36:16,250 --> 00:36:19,500 If you want go-go taverns, Rome is full of them. 659 00:36:20,083 --> 00:36:21,541 I'm sure I have no idea. 660 00:36:21,541 --> 00:36:24,208 Sure! The Palladium near the market. 661 00:36:24,208 --> 00:36:26,083 Or there's Sternum, or Scrotum. 662 00:36:26,083 --> 00:36:27,166 Right... 663 00:36:28,208 --> 00:36:31,500 So, what do you want? Longer outfits for your dancers? 664 00:36:31,500 --> 00:36:32,583 It's a start. 665 00:36:32,583 --> 00:36:36,875 And let's talk about the role of women in Roman society. 666 00:36:36,875 --> 00:36:40,041 Look closely and it's all about men here. 667 00:36:40,041 --> 00:36:41,791 Gladiators? Men. 668 00:36:41,791 --> 00:36:43,291 Senators? Men only. 669 00:36:43,291 --> 00:36:44,916 Legionaries? Men only. 670 00:36:44,916 --> 00:36:46,541 Caesars? Men only. 671 00:36:47,041 --> 00:36:48,333 You want a Julia Caesar? 672 00:36:52,500 --> 00:36:54,250 You want Rome run by a woman? 673 00:36:56,666 --> 00:36:57,541 I see. 674 00:37:06,000 --> 00:37:07,750 Back to our friends. 675 00:37:07,750 --> 00:37:12,833 After crossing the Egyptian desert in sweltering heat, 676 00:37:12,833 --> 00:37:16,708 they reach the Red Sea and the city of Klysma, 677 00:37:16,708 --> 00:37:20,750 a small Egyptian port, later known as Suez. 678 00:37:20,750 --> 00:37:22,083 Yes, like the canal. 679 00:37:28,208 --> 00:37:31,875 If we want a captain, I guarantee we'll find one here. 680 00:37:32,541 --> 00:37:35,375 Look, Asterix, the tavern's called Little Lutetia. 681 00:37:35,375 --> 00:37:41,916 Dare to come and cast the first stone 682 00:37:45,125 --> 00:37:47,666 To fall for one head over heels 683 00:37:47,666 --> 00:37:49,583 leaves a wound that never heals 684 00:37:49,583 --> 00:37:53,791 But the love you feel is the real deal 685 00:37:56,916 --> 00:37:59,541 So don't be harsh or disapprove 686 00:38:00,208 --> 00:38:03,041 When a woman falls in love 687 00:38:05,000 --> 00:38:07,375 - You don't know it. - I know it by heart. 688 00:38:07,375 --> 00:38:10,083 With a man who sweeps her off her feet 689 00:38:16,458 --> 00:38:18,166 See? That's Gaul for you! 690 00:38:18,166 --> 00:38:19,666 I love this place. 691 00:38:19,666 --> 00:38:22,125 Exactly how I pictured Lutetia. 692 00:38:24,083 --> 00:38:25,083 Same here. 693 00:38:30,041 --> 00:38:32,458 That's so good! You're a Gaul for sure. 694 00:38:32,458 --> 00:38:34,750 Yes, duckie. Born and bred. 695 00:38:34,750 --> 00:38:37,625 - You've lived here long? - Donkey's years. 696 00:38:37,625 --> 00:38:39,750 I had a small cabaret in Lutetia. 697 00:38:39,750 --> 00:38:43,666 A hotspot, raking it in, but I fell for a fella, 698 00:38:43,666 --> 00:38:46,083 a lowlife who wanted me as his floozy. 699 00:38:46,083 --> 00:38:48,041 And to clean me out! 700 00:38:48,875 --> 00:38:51,416 So who took her dosh and hightailed it here? 701 00:38:51,416 --> 00:38:53,875 Yours truly. Tipsy, that's me! 702 00:38:54,708 --> 00:38:56,500 What brings you blondies here? 703 00:38:56,500 --> 00:38:58,875 Looking for the best ship's captain. 704 00:38:59,916 --> 00:39:01,125 He's your man. Titanix! 705 00:39:03,208 --> 00:39:04,083 He's reliable? 706 00:39:04,583 --> 00:39:07,375 Titanix is top-notch. Unsinkable! 707 00:39:08,500 --> 00:39:09,583 Thanks for your help, Tipsy. 708 00:39:09,583 --> 00:39:11,041 Anything for a Gaul! 709 00:39:12,041 --> 00:39:13,708 Normally, mutts stay outside. 710 00:39:13,708 --> 00:39:15,333 But you're a real cutie. 711 00:39:21,791 --> 00:39:24,166 We're looking for a boat to China. 712 00:39:24,166 --> 00:39:27,000 China by sea? Too much hassle. 713 00:39:27,833 --> 00:39:29,333 Here's what I got for you. 714 00:39:29,333 --> 00:39:31,208 A quick visit of the coves of Klysma, 715 00:39:31,208 --> 00:39:34,375 all-you-can-eat and swimming, plus the sunset. 716 00:39:35,666 --> 00:39:36,500 Tasty. 717 00:39:38,083 --> 00:39:39,541 Another time. 718 00:39:39,541 --> 00:39:41,750 This is worth more than your boat. 719 00:39:42,708 --> 00:39:44,291 Why didn't you say so? 720 00:39:44,875 --> 00:39:45,916 So how's it... 721 00:39:45,916 --> 00:39:48,958 You think I'll stand by and let you extort me? 722 00:39:48,958 --> 00:39:51,416 Get out before I get out my cudgel! 723 00:39:51,416 --> 00:39:54,125 Tipsy's steaming up. Trouble ahoy. 724 00:39:54,125 --> 00:39:55,375 A problem, Tipsy? 725 00:39:55,375 --> 00:39:57,958 These gents want to dip into my pockets. 726 00:39:57,958 --> 00:40:01,916 They'll get a dose of their own medicine. Nobody messes with Tipsy. 727 00:40:03,250 --> 00:40:05,541 Lightweights! Fooling with a Gaul. 728 00:40:05,541 --> 00:40:07,208 What do you want with the lady? 729 00:40:08,833 --> 00:40:09,750 You're the lightweight. 730 00:40:15,166 --> 00:40:16,166 Screwy. 731 00:40:16,166 --> 00:40:17,458 Princess, in Gaul, 732 00:40:17,458 --> 00:40:20,166 when heavyweights run their mouths off, 733 00:40:21,041 --> 00:40:23,541 flyweights don't listen. 734 00:40:51,125 --> 00:40:52,125 He's a lizard! 735 00:41:00,291 --> 00:41:01,125 What is this? 736 00:41:12,416 --> 00:41:15,291 A very, very strong batch. He overdid it. 737 00:41:16,208 --> 00:41:18,166 Give me a drop. No one will know. 738 00:41:18,166 --> 00:41:19,291 No chance. 739 00:41:23,208 --> 00:41:24,875 One's yours. Take your pick. 740 00:41:25,458 --> 00:41:26,833 The big guy, I guess. 741 00:41:29,916 --> 00:41:31,000 Gentlemen... 742 00:41:40,416 --> 00:41:43,916 I'm not allowed it ever since I fell in as a kid. 743 00:41:44,416 --> 00:41:45,708 So it will hurt less. 744 00:42:04,791 --> 00:42:08,000 Imagine a mini-amphora with two wings painted on it, 745 00:42:08,000 --> 00:42:10,125 containing a drop of magic potion. 746 00:42:10,125 --> 00:42:12,041 A kind of pick-me-up. 747 00:42:12,041 --> 00:42:14,833 We market it as an invigorating drink... 748 00:42:14,833 --> 00:42:17,250 I'll come up with a name for it. 749 00:42:17,750 --> 00:42:22,333 In Rome, with all the orgies and kids dancing through the night, 750 00:42:22,333 --> 00:42:23,625 we'll make a killing. 751 00:42:23,625 --> 00:42:26,458 Count me in. I'll handle transport. 752 00:42:27,541 --> 00:42:28,583 What's that? 753 00:42:29,166 --> 00:42:30,375 It's tai chi. 754 00:42:30,375 --> 00:42:33,333 An ancestral technique to boost the body's energy. 755 00:42:34,333 --> 00:42:36,291 It's crazy, us meeting now. 756 00:42:36,291 --> 00:42:39,666 My new lifestyle's so in step with your culture. 757 00:42:40,291 --> 00:42:43,208 Balance, nutrition, energies, everything! 758 00:42:44,166 --> 00:42:45,708 The two of us are so connected. 759 00:42:51,625 --> 00:42:53,375 - Done? - Meditation. 760 00:42:53,375 --> 00:42:55,166 - Great! - No talking! 761 00:43:01,375 --> 00:43:02,666 It's a fine coin. 762 00:43:05,416 --> 00:43:06,416 That's you? 763 00:43:07,083 --> 00:43:09,625 Yes. A gift from my mother. 764 00:43:10,791 --> 00:43:11,833 That's real love. 765 00:43:15,208 --> 00:43:16,500 When I received it, 766 00:43:17,416 --> 00:43:18,333 I didn't smile. 767 00:43:19,458 --> 00:43:20,916 Don't worry, Princess. 768 00:43:21,416 --> 00:43:23,125 I'll rescue your mother. 769 00:43:24,208 --> 00:43:25,083 I'm here for you. 770 00:43:26,291 --> 00:43:27,875 Quick correction, sorry. 771 00:43:27,875 --> 00:43:29,458 We are here for you. 772 00:43:29,458 --> 00:43:33,083 Some of us were here for you from the start of the adventure. 773 00:43:34,083 --> 00:43:35,416 Excuse me. 774 00:43:35,416 --> 00:43:36,791 Princess... 775 00:43:42,583 --> 00:43:43,708 What are you doing? 776 00:43:43,708 --> 00:43:45,500 That was two balls! 777 00:43:45,500 --> 00:43:47,333 Put one back. That was two balls! 778 00:43:47,333 --> 00:43:50,041 Put one back. Don't screw me on the balls. 779 00:43:50,041 --> 00:43:51,666 It's extra jailtime for me. 780 00:43:53,208 --> 00:43:55,291 By the way, did you think over 781 00:43:56,666 --> 00:43:57,541 my offer? 782 00:44:00,500 --> 00:44:02,041 Playing hard to get. 783 00:44:02,541 --> 00:44:05,416 I'm used to tough negotiations, though. 784 00:44:05,416 --> 00:44:07,208 - Ekonomikrisis... - Yes? 785 00:44:07,208 --> 00:44:08,958 If we get out one day, 786 00:44:09,458 --> 00:44:11,833 would you like to keep trading in China? 787 00:44:12,333 --> 00:44:14,333 - Sure. - So shut up. 788 00:44:16,250 --> 00:44:18,458 They put us together to torture me. 789 00:44:19,125 --> 00:44:20,375 Let's not exaggerate. 790 00:44:21,583 --> 00:44:22,916 Perhaps it's... 791 00:44:23,625 --> 00:44:25,208 destiny bringing us together. 792 00:44:25,708 --> 00:44:27,458 Maktub, as they say back home. 793 00:44:28,708 --> 00:44:31,125 You're very beautiful in a temper. 794 00:44:50,000 --> 00:44:50,833 Gents! 795 00:44:50,833 --> 00:44:53,666 Here, on the Red Sea, no more fatal encounters! 796 00:44:53,666 --> 00:44:56,166 Who are the predators here? 797 00:44:56,166 --> 00:44:57,916 - We are! - Bang on! 798 00:44:59,458 --> 00:45:01,708 Ship ahoy! 799 00:45:02,833 --> 00:45:03,916 Thanks, lookout! 800 00:45:03,916 --> 00:45:05,041 Just doing my job! 801 00:45:05,041 --> 00:45:08,000 No lavish ship will escape us. 802 00:45:08,000 --> 00:45:09,333 We sleep tonight in silk! 803 00:45:24,541 --> 00:45:25,375 The Gauls? 804 00:45:25,375 --> 00:45:27,791 It's the Gauls! 805 00:45:30,500 --> 00:45:31,666 Peek-a-boo! 806 00:45:32,166 --> 00:45:33,083 Hi, guys! 807 00:45:37,875 --> 00:45:39,083 Not the Gauls! 808 00:45:39,083 --> 00:45:40,083 Why us? 809 00:45:41,541 --> 00:45:42,833 There are other ships. 810 00:45:43,750 --> 00:45:46,166 Morning, could you pretend not to see us? 811 00:45:46,166 --> 00:45:47,750 But we have seen you. 812 00:45:47,750 --> 00:45:49,125 That's fair. 813 00:45:50,250 --> 00:45:51,291 Prepare our defences! 814 00:45:51,291 --> 00:45:52,375 Let's go! 815 00:45:56,916 --> 00:45:58,833 Freshly painted too! 816 00:45:59,333 --> 00:46:00,708 Watch out now! 817 00:46:05,458 --> 00:46:07,125 Don't think I enjoy it. 818 00:46:08,416 --> 00:46:09,500 No, wait. 819 00:46:10,458 --> 00:46:11,958 Watch some Chinese fighting. 820 00:46:30,333 --> 00:46:31,583 What now, skipper? 821 00:46:33,000 --> 00:46:34,208 I'm not feeling it. 822 00:46:34,208 --> 00:46:36,166 Let's go anyway. Attack! 823 00:46:40,000 --> 00:46:41,208 No, go back! 824 00:46:41,208 --> 00:46:42,791 Michel, go on! 825 00:46:57,166 --> 00:46:58,625 That's gotta hurt. 826 00:47:06,916 --> 00:47:08,208 That's too many feet! 827 00:47:09,583 --> 00:47:10,875 Let me through. 828 00:47:14,625 --> 00:47:15,875 Sorry, skipper. 829 00:47:15,875 --> 00:47:17,208 Where you going? 830 00:47:17,208 --> 00:47:18,875 Going out like a prince. 831 00:47:20,208 --> 00:47:21,708 Behind you! 832 00:47:26,125 --> 00:47:27,916 Cool it, crazywoman! 833 00:48:08,375 --> 00:48:09,250 Comrades, 834 00:48:09,750 --> 00:48:11,916 official reason for us sinking, 835 00:48:11,916 --> 00:48:14,041 we ran into a Chinese tornado. 836 00:48:24,000 --> 00:48:25,000 May I? 837 00:48:25,583 --> 00:48:26,458 Yes. 838 00:48:30,416 --> 00:48:31,375 Beautiful. 839 00:48:32,958 --> 00:48:34,250 I wanted to say, 840 00:48:34,916 --> 00:48:36,416 you fight fabulously. 841 00:48:37,333 --> 00:48:38,333 Thank you. 842 00:48:39,500 --> 00:48:41,875 How come you never use the potion? 843 00:48:41,875 --> 00:48:43,125 I'm not allowed to. 844 00:48:45,083 --> 00:48:47,833 Dangerous, apparently. One shot too many. 845 00:48:50,500 --> 00:48:53,583 I'd love to feel that kick just one more time. 846 00:49:43,291 --> 00:49:44,458 Obelix? 847 00:49:46,416 --> 00:49:47,416 Mummy! 848 00:49:52,875 --> 00:49:54,375 The feeling is extraordinary. 849 00:49:54,875 --> 00:49:57,375 Fizzing through your head and body. A bit like... 850 00:49:57,375 --> 00:49:59,125 falling in love, so I hear. 851 00:50:25,875 --> 00:50:28,291 Having found their way again at last, 852 00:50:28,791 --> 00:50:31,041 Caesar and his powerful army 853 00:50:31,041 --> 00:50:34,375 cross Persia, the mountains of India, 854 00:50:34,375 --> 00:50:36,125 the Mongolian steppes, 855 00:50:36,125 --> 00:50:38,791 and finally reach the gates of China, 856 00:50:38,791 --> 00:50:41,125 where the formidable Deng Tsin Quin 857 00:50:41,125 --> 00:50:43,208 is perfecting his dastardly plan 858 00:50:43,208 --> 00:50:45,375 to conquer all six kingdoms. 859 00:50:52,291 --> 00:50:53,208 Ave! 860 00:50:53,708 --> 00:50:54,666 This is the war? 861 00:50:54,666 --> 00:50:55,958 Prince Deng Tsin Quin, 862 00:50:55,958 --> 00:50:57,541 allow me to introduce... 863 00:50:58,041 --> 00:51:01,666 Julius Caesar himself. Impressive, I know, but deep breaths 864 00:51:01,666 --> 00:51:03,250 and everything will be fine. 865 00:51:03,791 --> 00:51:06,791 So where are these rebels you can't keep in check? 866 00:51:06,791 --> 00:51:10,166 War's a full-time job. Good idea to call in the professionals. 867 00:51:12,083 --> 00:51:13,833 Aren't you overthinking it? 868 00:51:13,833 --> 00:51:16,166 No, simply following Sun Tzu, 869 00:51:16,750 --> 00:51:18,208 the greatest Chinese strategist, 870 00:51:18,208 --> 00:51:19,791 who wrote The Art of War. 871 00:51:20,500 --> 00:51:21,708 The Fart is Raw? 872 00:51:23,333 --> 00:51:27,333 Anyway, shrimps, keep those eyes open. We'll make short work of this. 873 00:51:28,166 --> 00:51:30,666 {\an8}- All right. If you want peace... - Prepare for war. 874 00:51:30,666 --> 00:51:31,708 {\an8}Exactly! 875 00:51:33,041 --> 00:51:34,208 He's hard work. 876 00:51:34,208 --> 00:51:35,416 A maniac. 877 00:51:35,416 --> 00:51:38,583 Mega-pretentious, too. First decan cancer. The pits. 878 00:51:39,291 --> 00:51:41,916 I had no idea. I need sleep. Chariot-lag. 879 00:51:46,208 --> 00:51:47,875 Biopix, new chapter. 880 00:51:47,875 --> 00:51:50,500 After Caesar the Seducer, 881 00:51:51,166 --> 00:51:52,541 Caesar the Strategist. 882 00:51:52,541 --> 00:51:55,166 Hold on, change of scroll and I'm all yours. 883 00:51:55,166 --> 00:51:56,916 - Helmet! - Gallopus! 884 00:52:08,541 --> 00:52:09,541 Sword! 885 00:52:13,125 --> 00:52:14,000 What on Earth? 886 00:52:14,000 --> 00:52:16,375 - Last time you cut yourself... - Enough! 887 00:52:17,791 --> 00:52:19,583 Any news of Antivirus? 888 00:52:19,583 --> 00:52:21,750 He's here and ready, almighty Caesar. 889 00:52:21,750 --> 00:52:22,958 All right, let's go! 890 00:52:28,041 --> 00:52:28,916 All together! 891 00:52:32,541 --> 00:52:33,708 Goose bumps. 892 00:52:33,708 --> 00:52:34,958 Same here. 893 00:53:54,541 --> 00:53:55,833 Antivirus, I love you! 894 00:54:08,958 --> 00:54:11,625 Antivirus, don't go losing your cool. 895 00:54:12,125 --> 00:54:13,958 Cut the pushing. It hurts. 896 00:54:13,958 --> 00:54:16,000 You wanted Antivirus, 897 00:54:16,000 --> 00:54:17,916 I gave you Antivirus. 898 00:54:17,916 --> 00:54:21,000 Now go back to your chariot races. 899 00:54:22,916 --> 00:54:25,708 Why talk when you can fly? 900 00:54:50,291 --> 00:54:51,958 A walk in the park! 901 00:54:54,416 --> 00:54:55,791 In a few days, 902 00:54:55,791 --> 00:54:57,541 I shall be master of China. 903 00:54:58,625 --> 00:55:02,791 I almost envy you, getting a first taste of Rome's power. 904 00:55:03,375 --> 00:55:05,666 Veni, vidi, vici. 905 00:55:06,666 --> 00:55:08,958 Caesar, you spoil me. 906 00:55:08,958 --> 00:55:10,916 I've got it word for word. 907 00:55:10,916 --> 00:55:13,500 - Awkward. This is for dinner? - Yes. 908 00:55:13,500 --> 00:55:15,333 - No sense of hospitality. - No. 909 00:55:16,500 --> 00:55:18,291 And Antivirus? Not here? 910 00:55:18,291 --> 00:55:19,666 He's sleeping. 911 00:55:19,666 --> 00:55:20,666 Sleeping? 912 00:55:20,666 --> 00:55:21,833 I'm here, Caesar. 913 00:55:21,833 --> 00:55:24,208 - Yes, but it's not the same. - Not at all. 914 00:55:25,958 --> 00:55:28,541 You have one last kingdom to conquer. 915 00:55:28,541 --> 00:55:29,583 The trickiest. 916 00:55:30,875 --> 00:55:32,833 Our victories echo around the land. 917 00:55:32,833 --> 00:55:34,666 And the Ku Koos never give up. 918 00:55:34,666 --> 00:55:37,916 Fine. Let's see who's the biggest Ku Koo. 919 00:55:39,625 --> 00:55:42,625 Not laughing. King So Ku Koo passed this winter. 920 00:55:43,375 --> 00:55:46,208 His son and heir, Prince of Ku Koo, is 20 921 00:55:46,208 --> 00:55:49,083 and wears a mask to hide a terrible malformation. 922 00:55:49,083 --> 00:55:50,875 The man in the bamboo mask. 923 00:55:51,375 --> 00:55:52,250 A death 924 00:55:52,250 --> 00:55:55,833 and taking a drubbing from Caesar. Bad year for the Ku Koos. 925 00:55:57,000 --> 00:55:58,041 By the way... 926 00:55:59,500 --> 00:56:01,083 you seem a bit cuckoo. 927 00:56:01,708 --> 00:56:04,083 No, I'm a Quin. No relation. 928 00:56:04,083 --> 00:56:05,125 I mean... 929 00:56:08,125 --> 00:56:09,583 you're totally cuckoo, right? 930 00:56:15,958 --> 00:56:20,708 Why would you want my help in ousting you from your own kingdom? 931 00:56:20,708 --> 00:56:22,791 What do you stand to gain, 932 00:56:22,791 --> 00:56:24,875 Deng Tsin Quin? 933 00:56:26,166 --> 00:56:28,416 You plan to give me a Caesarian 934 00:56:28,416 --> 00:56:30,458 after I conquer all the kingdoms? 935 00:56:30,458 --> 00:56:31,708 No. 936 00:56:32,291 --> 00:56:33,583 I'd never do that. 937 00:56:34,166 --> 00:56:35,166 Really? 938 00:56:36,500 --> 00:56:37,333 I would. 939 00:56:38,125 --> 00:56:39,666 At the drop of a hat! 940 00:56:41,166 --> 00:56:42,125 Good one! 941 00:56:44,250 --> 00:56:45,916 Tell me, O Caesar, 942 00:56:46,583 --> 00:56:48,625 did you know that Queen Cleopatra 943 00:56:48,625 --> 00:56:50,291 is highly respected in China? 944 00:56:51,041 --> 00:56:52,000 That's true. 945 00:56:52,000 --> 00:56:55,375 She's done so much for the conservation of pandas that... 946 00:56:55,958 --> 00:56:58,125 What's she like in real life? Cool? 947 00:57:13,125 --> 00:57:14,666 Home at last. 948 00:57:16,041 --> 00:57:18,958 Can you smell the bamboo, eucalyptus and ginger? 949 00:57:20,416 --> 00:57:22,541 Don't bother. They have no idea. 950 00:57:22,541 --> 00:57:24,541 I smell them, though. 951 00:57:25,375 --> 00:57:26,458 What sweet scent! 952 00:57:27,041 --> 00:57:28,000 Titanix, 953 00:57:28,000 --> 00:57:30,166 you'll head straight back to Egypt? 954 00:57:30,166 --> 00:57:32,958 No, straight on till I'm back where I started, 955 00:57:32,958 --> 00:57:34,625 to prove the earth's round. 956 00:58:05,125 --> 00:58:07,166 Didn't I promise you'd be back? 957 00:58:12,750 --> 00:58:15,458 Ka Ra Tay, how will we find your master here? 958 00:58:15,458 --> 00:58:16,833 He will find us. 959 00:58:34,958 --> 00:58:36,666 - What was the message? - Nothing. 960 00:58:38,416 --> 00:58:39,708 The bald guy's a friend? 961 00:58:41,083 --> 00:58:43,208 Why not tell me if it's nothing? 962 00:58:45,041 --> 00:58:48,833 Master Sill Lee will come to the inn where we're staying. 963 00:58:49,958 --> 00:58:52,291 Why all the mystery? 964 00:58:52,291 --> 00:58:53,708 I've lost my appetite now! 965 00:58:56,625 --> 00:58:58,208 He's never like that. 966 00:58:59,625 --> 00:59:03,666 Could be the fatigue, time difference and culture shock. 967 00:59:03,666 --> 00:59:05,458 Can we talk honestly? 968 00:59:06,291 --> 00:59:09,750 We're hardly bosom buddies. I hate you, and it feels mutual. 969 00:59:10,958 --> 00:59:13,375 But it's really tense between you two. 970 00:59:13,375 --> 00:59:15,208 The tension's getting to us all. 971 00:59:15,875 --> 00:59:16,916 - It is? - Yes. 972 00:59:18,083 --> 00:59:19,791 I have an idea for you both 973 00:59:19,791 --> 00:59:23,583 and honestly it will do you the world of good. 974 00:59:26,250 --> 00:59:28,166 Obelix, we need to talk. 975 00:59:28,708 --> 00:59:29,875 I'm all ears. 976 00:59:29,875 --> 00:59:33,791 You've noticed the Princess and I have a real good thing going? 977 00:59:35,708 --> 00:59:36,708 For sure. 978 00:59:38,333 --> 00:59:40,583 I think it would be simpler... 979 00:59:41,291 --> 00:59:43,500 if she moved to our village. 980 00:59:43,500 --> 00:59:44,625 All right. 981 00:59:45,541 --> 00:59:46,958 You and I are... 982 00:59:47,458 --> 00:59:49,041 We've lived together for ages. 983 00:59:49,833 --> 00:59:51,833 We never said it was for life. 984 00:59:53,041 --> 00:59:54,291 Seeing as, originally, 985 00:59:54,791 --> 00:59:56,625 it was my parents' hut... 986 01:00:00,666 --> 01:00:02,416 You'd like me to move out? 987 01:00:03,583 --> 01:00:04,583 Yes. 988 01:00:08,583 --> 01:00:10,083 What a relief! 989 01:00:10,083 --> 01:00:13,500 I want to move out and had no idea how to tell you. 990 01:00:14,083 --> 01:00:14,916 Really? 991 01:00:17,541 --> 01:00:18,958 I'm in love, too. 992 01:00:20,458 --> 01:00:21,458 You're in love? 993 01:00:22,458 --> 01:00:23,541 Beautiful Ka Ra Tay. 994 01:00:27,291 --> 01:00:28,125 Ka Ra Tay? 995 01:00:29,041 --> 01:00:30,333 Our Ka Ra Tay? 996 01:00:30,833 --> 01:00:31,666 Seriously? 997 01:00:34,416 --> 01:00:35,375 What's so funny? 998 01:00:36,666 --> 01:00:37,875 I'm just surprised. 999 01:00:37,875 --> 01:00:39,208 By me falling in love? 1000 01:00:39,875 --> 01:00:41,083 Come on, Oby... 1001 01:00:41,083 --> 01:00:42,166 Don't Oby me. 1002 01:00:42,666 --> 01:00:43,708 No more Oby! 1003 01:00:45,333 --> 01:00:46,166 What's funny? 1004 01:00:46,166 --> 01:00:47,833 I've no right to love? 1005 01:00:48,333 --> 01:00:49,625 No rights at all! 1006 01:00:49,625 --> 01:00:51,541 Nonsense! It's all about you. 1007 01:00:51,541 --> 01:00:53,500 - It is not! - It is! 1008 01:00:54,625 --> 01:00:56,708 No magic potion for Obelix. 1009 01:00:56,708 --> 01:00:58,000 No love for Obelix! 1010 01:00:58,000 --> 01:01:01,083 Poor Obelix! He can't have any magic potion. 1011 01:01:01,875 --> 01:01:02,833 Poor Obelix! 1012 01:01:02,833 --> 01:01:04,250 Now I'm not allowed 1013 01:01:04,250 --> 01:01:07,625 to roast my wild boar in my own hut! 1014 01:01:08,208 --> 01:01:11,000 Sorry, not my hut. Asterix's parents' hut! 1015 01:01:11,000 --> 01:01:14,000 - Correct! - And he wants me to eat fruit and veg! 1016 01:01:14,000 --> 01:01:16,500 Why should we eat fruit and veg? 1017 01:01:16,500 --> 01:01:17,500 For your sake! 1018 01:01:18,000 --> 01:01:18,958 Your health! 1019 01:01:18,958 --> 01:01:21,125 Don't say the word! Don't say it! 1020 01:01:21,125 --> 01:01:22,541 Because you're fat! 1021 01:01:24,916 --> 01:01:27,166 I am curvaceous! 1022 01:01:28,000 --> 01:01:29,125 But at least I'm... 1023 01:01:29,625 --> 01:01:30,833 strong. 1024 01:01:30,833 --> 01:01:32,916 There we go. Thank you! 1025 01:01:32,916 --> 01:01:35,708 You think it's easy always being weaker? 1026 01:01:36,208 --> 01:01:37,583 Dependent on a flask! 1027 01:01:37,583 --> 01:01:38,833 Serves you right! 1028 01:01:39,333 --> 01:01:40,625 There, I said it! 1029 01:01:42,041 --> 01:01:45,000 Needles work well. Release tensions. 1030 01:01:46,625 --> 01:01:48,708 Speak freely. 1031 01:02:01,000 --> 01:02:02,833 - Romans! - No, Obelix. 1032 01:02:02,833 --> 01:02:04,041 What now? 1033 01:02:04,041 --> 01:02:06,208 We protect the princess's identity. 1034 01:02:07,666 --> 01:02:08,958 What brings Caesar to China? 1035 01:02:08,958 --> 01:02:12,083 The traitor Deng Tsin Quin has sold us out. 1036 01:02:14,458 --> 01:02:15,875 News flash! 1037 01:02:16,875 --> 01:02:18,166 People of China, 1038 01:02:18,166 --> 01:02:20,791 Prince Deng Tsin Quin and Julius Caesar 1039 01:02:20,791 --> 01:02:23,333 are delighted to announce the public execution 1040 01:02:23,333 --> 01:02:24,708 of the ex-Empress. 1041 01:02:25,750 --> 01:02:29,250 Beheading will take place in seven days at sunset. 1042 01:02:30,416 --> 01:02:34,375 Fries will be stirred. Book early to avoid disappointment. 1043 01:02:34,375 --> 01:02:35,416 Nobody told me. 1044 01:02:35,416 --> 01:02:37,291 By papyrus? You're not in the group? 1045 01:02:37,291 --> 01:02:39,250 I never am! 1046 01:02:39,250 --> 01:02:41,250 I am Princess Sa See! 1047 01:02:41,250 --> 01:02:43,583 Nobody harms the daughter of the heavens, 1048 01:02:43,583 --> 01:02:46,125 Her Majesty the Empress, my mother! 1049 01:02:46,125 --> 01:02:47,583 Arrest her! 1050 01:02:54,291 --> 01:02:55,166 Hey, doggie. 1051 01:02:56,041 --> 01:02:56,875 Bring it on. 1052 01:02:56,875 --> 01:03:00,166 Anyone who touches a single hair of my future wife 1053 01:03:00,166 --> 01:03:02,708 must prepare for a world of pain. 1054 01:03:04,583 --> 01:03:05,875 I said that? 1055 01:03:12,208 --> 01:03:14,416 Hold on, timeout. Pause it. 1056 01:03:14,416 --> 01:03:17,208 Just a second, I'll be right back. 1057 01:03:18,416 --> 01:03:19,625 You're kidding me. 1058 01:03:22,166 --> 01:03:23,166 You good? 1059 01:03:27,166 --> 01:03:28,083 We can start? 1060 01:03:28,708 --> 01:03:30,375 - Toilet break. - Sure. 1061 01:03:30,375 --> 01:03:31,666 Not buying it. 1062 01:04:01,916 --> 01:04:02,916 Wring! 1063 01:04:26,083 --> 01:04:27,291 How about that. 1064 01:04:32,958 --> 01:04:35,666 The acupuncturist prescribed me two days' rest. 1065 01:04:35,666 --> 01:04:37,125 For what we get paid... 1066 01:04:38,958 --> 01:04:40,250 Act like we never met? 1067 01:04:40,250 --> 01:04:41,291 We never met. 1068 01:05:36,500 --> 01:05:38,916 Say, he just flew off my fist. 1069 01:05:38,916 --> 01:05:40,125 Yeah, I saw that. 1070 01:05:40,125 --> 01:05:42,125 Let's face it, no one beats you. 1071 01:05:43,000 --> 01:05:44,250 What's this? 1072 01:05:47,416 --> 01:05:48,541 Insane! So tight. 1073 01:05:48,541 --> 01:05:50,416 Come on, Princess, it's not safe. 1074 01:05:50,416 --> 01:05:52,583 "Come on, Princess, it's not safe." 1075 01:05:54,291 --> 01:05:55,416 A problem? 1076 01:05:55,416 --> 01:05:56,500 Maybe. 1077 01:05:57,458 --> 01:05:58,541 Potion's worn off? 1078 01:05:58,541 --> 01:06:00,250 Maybe. Try me, you'll see. 1079 01:06:02,083 --> 01:06:02,958 We'll talk later. 1080 01:06:03,750 --> 01:06:04,916 Ready when you are. 1081 01:06:23,875 --> 01:06:25,000 Halt! 1082 01:06:29,791 --> 01:06:31,625 THE ORIGINAL 2CV 1083 01:06:36,958 --> 01:06:38,625 SOAPS by CLEO 1084 01:06:41,083 --> 01:06:42,875 Who whistled? 1085 01:06:53,833 --> 01:06:54,958 I go off to war. 1086 01:06:55,875 --> 01:06:57,875 I risk my life and nothing from her. 1087 01:06:58,458 --> 01:07:00,208 No messages, no news. 1088 01:07:00,208 --> 01:07:01,875 No papyrus, no pigeons. 1089 01:07:01,875 --> 01:07:03,958 Time to snap out of it! 1090 01:07:03,958 --> 01:07:06,750 We were the intrepid, conquering hero. 1091 01:07:06,750 --> 01:07:09,250 - We've gone a bit flat. - He's right. 1092 01:07:09,250 --> 01:07:10,875 You messaged her? 1093 01:07:10,875 --> 01:07:13,875 No, we said no messages. We play it cool. 1094 01:07:13,875 --> 01:07:16,791 We do nothing. Let her stew like beef. 1095 01:07:16,791 --> 01:07:18,916 Butt out, cupcake! 1096 01:07:18,916 --> 01:07:20,875 Come again, sentry? 1097 01:07:20,875 --> 01:07:24,208 Risklus! An aquarium, with water on the brain! 1098 01:07:24,208 --> 01:07:27,416 Two-bit Antivirus! You're not fit to shine his sandals. 1099 01:07:27,416 --> 01:07:29,166 Shut your trap! 1100 01:07:32,791 --> 01:07:34,416 Who wears the toga at home? 1101 01:07:34,916 --> 01:07:35,833 Who's the boss? 1102 01:07:36,458 --> 01:07:37,375 I am. 1103 01:07:37,916 --> 01:07:39,000 Anyone hear that? 1104 01:07:39,625 --> 01:07:41,166 Who's the boss? 1105 01:07:42,541 --> 01:07:44,000 - I am. - There you are! 1106 01:07:44,000 --> 01:07:45,958 You're back. Julius Caesar! 1107 01:07:45,958 --> 01:07:47,583 Our champion! Number one! 1108 01:07:48,500 --> 01:07:50,208 The only message is, 1109 01:07:50,208 --> 01:07:53,375 "Take your trunks and stuff, and go home to Egypt!" 1110 01:07:53,375 --> 01:07:56,208 "Walking straight or sideways, whatever, just go!" 1111 01:08:00,166 --> 01:08:01,458 You're right. Scribe! 1112 01:08:12,875 --> 01:08:14,250 Better! 1113 01:08:14,250 --> 01:08:17,833 I want my palace in Rome empty of sarcophagi and bandages. 1114 01:08:18,791 --> 01:08:21,875 As of today, you know who wears the toga at home. 1115 01:08:22,958 --> 01:08:24,208 Ave, me! 1116 01:08:24,208 --> 01:08:28,375 There, that's big-time Caesar. Masterful! 1117 01:08:28,375 --> 01:08:30,166 The Queen of Egypt? 1118 01:08:30,166 --> 01:08:32,166 Queen of Nitwits more like! 1119 01:08:33,083 --> 01:08:35,000 They're not singing anymore... 1120 01:08:35,000 --> 01:08:38,000 They're not singing, the Egyptians! 1121 01:08:38,000 --> 01:08:39,750 - Send. - Yes! 1122 01:08:43,791 --> 01:08:45,041 Pigeon! 1123 01:08:48,375 --> 01:08:49,500 A bunny! 1124 01:08:50,583 --> 01:08:51,541 It's a bunny. 1125 01:08:51,541 --> 01:08:52,916 Scary! 1126 01:08:53,500 --> 01:08:55,125 A raccoon! 1127 01:08:58,833 --> 01:08:59,750 A goat! 1128 01:09:00,583 --> 01:09:01,791 A billy goat. 1129 01:09:07,833 --> 01:09:09,541 Come on, sweetie, let's go. 1130 01:09:18,708 --> 01:09:19,833 From Cleopatra. 1131 01:09:19,833 --> 01:09:20,833 Already? 1132 01:09:22,416 --> 01:09:23,250 Read it. 1133 01:09:34,958 --> 01:09:37,500 - Don't understand a word. - I don't understand. 1134 01:09:39,791 --> 01:09:41,416 "I wanted to apologise 1135 01:09:42,375 --> 01:09:43,583 for my behaviour." 1136 01:09:43,583 --> 01:09:44,958 "I went too far." 1137 01:09:44,958 --> 01:09:46,083 For sure. 1138 01:09:47,250 --> 01:09:51,166 "Four months apart and I dream of us being reunited. 1139 01:09:51,750 --> 01:09:54,416 "Waiting for you in Rome. Come back soon." 1140 01:09:55,208 --> 01:09:56,541 "Your loving Cleo." 1141 01:09:57,958 --> 01:09:59,625 Stop the pigeon! 1142 01:09:59,625 --> 01:10:01,166 Cancel the pigeon! 1143 01:10:01,166 --> 01:10:03,000 - Fast! - We can't cancel it. 1144 01:10:03,000 --> 01:10:05,416 Sent is sent. I beat him? 1145 01:10:06,000 --> 01:10:07,125 Everybody out! 1146 01:10:12,208 --> 01:10:13,416 I said everybody. 1147 01:11:31,333 --> 01:11:33,250 Hungry? There's lots of fruit. 1148 01:11:33,250 --> 01:11:34,500 - Hands off. - What? 1149 01:11:34,500 --> 01:11:35,875 They're offerings. 1150 01:11:36,541 --> 01:11:38,208 Sorry. I didn't... 1151 01:11:45,875 --> 01:11:46,875 Hold on. 1152 01:11:46,875 --> 01:11:48,916 Move along. Have a good evening. 1153 01:11:49,500 --> 01:11:50,375 Good luck. 1154 01:11:50,875 --> 01:11:52,333 Just a beggar. 1155 01:11:57,833 --> 01:11:58,958 Master Sill Lee. 1156 01:11:59,833 --> 01:12:00,875 Sorry. 1157 01:12:01,833 --> 01:12:04,541 Profuse apologies, Mr. Sill Lee. I thought... 1158 01:12:04,541 --> 01:12:07,875 Master Sill Lee is a hermit who devotes his life to meditation. 1159 01:12:08,375 --> 01:12:10,125 He took a vow of absolute poverty. 1160 01:12:10,833 --> 01:12:13,916 Bravo for the oath. That blows my mind. 1161 01:12:13,916 --> 01:12:15,250 It's beyond me. 1162 01:12:15,250 --> 01:12:18,416 In that case, allow me to relieve you of the money. 1163 01:12:18,416 --> 01:12:21,375 Try to take back your coin, 1164 01:12:21,375 --> 01:12:22,916 little grasshopper. 1165 01:12:27,291 --> 01:12:29,125 It's too easy. You're blind. 1166 01:12:29,125 --> 01:12:32,583 Never assume a man cannot see because he's... 1167 01:12:34,291 --> 01:12:35,833 You saw that coming? 1168 01:12:37,833 --> 01:12:39,333 There we are! 1169 01:12:39,875 --> 01:12:41,166 It was his game. 1170 01:12:41,166 --> 01:12:42,375 Leave him. 1171 01:12:42,375 --> 01:12:43,541 Little grasshopper! 1172 01:12:44,125 --> 01:12:45,416 Sir, over here. 1173 01:12:46,250 --> 01:12:48,708 You are as swift as a cobra. 1174 01:12:48,708 --> 01:12:49,791 Yup, Sill Lee. 1175 01:12:49,791 --> 01:12:52,375 Can we move on to important matters? 1176 01:12:58,541 --> 01:13:00,083 By Toutatis! 1177 01:13:00,083 --> 01:13:04,000 Deng Tsin Quin spreads terror across the whole country. 1178 01:13:04,000 --> 01:13:06,125 Do not touch. 1179 01:13:07,083 --> 01:13:07,958 Hard to resist. 1180 01:13:08,541 --> 01:13:09,708 I see 1181 01:13:09,708 --> 01:13:11,750 an old abandoned temple. 1182 01:13:11,750 --> 01:13:13,708 The temple in Xuan. 1183 01:13:14,208 --> 01:13:17,833 Her Majesty the Empress is held prisoner. 1184 01:13:19,000 --> 01:13:21,083 After releasing her, 1185 01:13:21,083 --> 01:13:24,125 you must go with all speed 1186 01:13:24,125 --> 01:13:25,916 to the Ku Koos' palace, 1187 01:13:25,916 --> 01:13:30,208 before Caesar seizes the final kingdom. 1188 01:13:30,791 --> 01:13:32,833 You will encounter 1189 01:13:33,458 --> 01:13:34,583 the hideous... 1190 01:13:34,583 --> 01:13:36,583 the unsightly... 1191 01:13:36,583 --> 01:13:40,708 the monstrous crown prince, 1192 01:13:40,708 --> 01:13:42,125 Prince of Ku Koo, 1193 01:13:42,125 --> 01:13:45,416 the man in the bamboo mask. 1194 01:13:47,416 --> 01:13:49,166 Don't worry, it's fake. 1195 01:13:49,166 --> 01:13:51,041 Good luck! 1196 01:13:51,625 --> 01:13:54,083 We must go our separate ways. 1197 01:13:54,791 --> 01:13:55,958 Grand master, 1198 01:13:56,458 --> 01:13:58,166 are you done with the ball? 1199 01:14:00,000 --> 01:14:01,083 Yes. 1200 01:14:04,958 --> 01:14:06,041 Holy cow! 1201 01:14:09,125 --> 01:14:11,083 There you are. You broke it. 1202 01:14:11,083 --> 01:14:12,833 He said do not touch. 1203 01:14:14,833 --> 01:14:15,916 He's right. 1204 01:14:16,833 --> 01:14:18,666 I said do not touch! 1205 01:14:24,666 --> 01:14:25,666 Why'd you touch it? 1206 01:14:31,708 --> 01:14:34,250 Seen Princess Sa See? With two warriors... 1207 01:14:38,416 --> 01:14:39,791 Princess Sa See? 1208 01:14:39,791 --> 01:14:43,166 Seen her? With two superhuman foreign warriors. 1209 01:14:43,750 --> 01:14:44,625 And a dog. 1210 01:15:00,000 --> 01:15:02,500 You're waiting for an ale? Bring them in! 1211 01:15:03,291 --> 01:15:04,958 - Asterix! - What? Run! 1212 01:15:05,458 --> 01:15:06,791 - Asterix! - What? 1213 01:15:06,791 --> 01:15:08,666 Why are we running? 1214 01:15:08,666 --> 01:15:10,500 - So I don't have to fight. - Why? 1215 01:15:10,500 --> 01:15:12,541 No more potion with the Princess. 1216 01:15:12,541 --> 01:15:14,541 I'm sick of looking stupid. 1217 01:15:15,041 --> 01:15:17,166 Hurry! I bagged a rickshaw. 1218 01:15:17,166 --> 01:15:18,333 Come on! 1219 01:15:20,125 --> 01:15:21,125 Fast! 1220 01:15:21,833 --> 01:15:22,916 Faster! 1221 01:15:27,458 --> 01:15:28,875 He does this on purpose. 1222 01:16:21,750 --> 01:16:22,833 All right. 1223 01:16:28,166 --> 01:16:31,291 One more ball and it's curtains for us. 1224 01:16:32,333 --> 01:16:33,583 So, our last night... 1225 01:16:34,458 --> 01:16:35,750 I was thinking... 1226 01:16:36,416 --> 01:16:38,500 maybe as a memento... 1227 01:16:38,500 --> 01:16:39,416 Majesty! 1228 01:16:41,208 --> 01:16:42,291 Gave me a fright! 1229 01:16:42,291 --> 01:16:43,875 We'll get you out. 1230 01:16:43,875 --> 01:16:45,125 Who's that? 1231 01:16:47,208 --> 01:16:48,500 Stand back. 1232 01:16:59,291 --> 01:17:00,291 All good? 1233 01:17:08,541 --> 01:17:09,375 Sorry. 1234 01:17:22,208 --> 01:17:23,083 Rise. 1235 01:17:24,833 --> 01:17:25,666 Let's go. 1236 01:17:25,666 --> 01:17:27,166 Jump. We'll catch you. 1237 01:17:27,166 --> 01:17:29,000 What? Jump? 1238 01:17:29,000 --> 01:17:30,750 I can't leave right now! 1239 01:17:30,750 --> 01:17:32,958 Abandon a negotiation? Not my style! 1240 01:17:33,541 --> 01:17:35,375 In two balls, the guard caves. 1241 01:17:35,375 --> 01:17:38,041 Go ahead without me. I'll catch you up. 1242 01:17:38,666 --> 01:17:39,500 Are you sure? 1243 01:17:40,500 --> 01:17:41,500 Yes. 1244 01:17:42,500 --> 01:17:43,458 As you wish. 1245 01:17:46,958 --> 01:17:47,833 Take care. 1246 01:17:48,791 --> 01:17:50,041 And keep your head. 1247 01:17:52,291 --> 01:17:53,750 You're afraid for me. 1248 01:17:55,000 --> 01:17:58,958 You see, you're even more beautiful smiling than in a temper. 1249 01:18:06,833 --> 01:18:08,500 She's so impressive! 1250 01:18:09,875 --> 01:18:10,875 Thank you. 1251 01:18:12,458 --> 01:18:13,375 Mother! 1252 01:18:14,041 --> 01:18:15,666 What joy to see you again. 1253 01:18:26,125 --> 01:18:27,666 - Alert! - Run! 1254 01:18:27,666 --> 01:18:28,666 They've escaped! 1255 01:18:39,583 --> 01:18:41,083 Which way now? Which way? 1256 01:18:42,625 --> 01:18:43,625 Wait. 1257 01:18:44,625 --> 01:18:46,708 Good. We lost them. 1258 01:18:46,708 --> 01:18:49,041 Friends from Gaul. Thanks for your help. 1259 01:18:49,041 --> 01:18:50,958 Our pleasure, Your Majesty. 1260 01:18:51,791 --> 01:18:53,916 Seeing as no one introduces me... 1261 01:18:55,666 --> 01:18:56,958 Bankruptis. 1262 01:18:56,958 --> 01:18:59,500 We already met at the market. 1263 01:19:00,208 --> 01:19:01,250 That's right. 1264 01:19:02,041 --> 01:19:03,750 Life's full of surprises. 1265 01:19:06,125 --> 01:19:07,875 Attention issues for the Empress. 1266 01:19:09,083 --> 01:19:12,291 Take the Gauls to the Ku Koos. Secure their support. 1267 01:19:12,291 --> 01:19:15,708 Meanwhile I'll rally our army and followers. 1268 01:19:16,541 --> 01:19:17,791 Ka Ra Tay, come with me. 1269 01:19:18,458 --> 01:19:20,208 I shall honour you, Mother. 1270 01:19:20,208 --> 01:19:21,375 You'll be proud of me. 1271 01:19:23,250 --> 01:19:24,583 I'm already proud of you. 1272 01:19:26,500 --> 01:19:27,666 Let's go, Ka Ra Tay. 1273 01:19:45,250 --> 01:19:46,625 This will end badly. 1274 01:20:09,500 --> 01:20:11,541 Ka Ra Tay has fallen for Obelix. 1275 01:20:13,541 --> 01:20:14,375 Obelix, too. 1276 01:20:17,166 --> 01:20:20,208 I don't like all the falling-for in this adventure. 1277 01:20:21,250 --> 01:20:22,333 So let's go. 1278 01:20:23,750 --> 01:20:25,291 Obelix, come on. 1279 01:20:33,708 --> 01:20:36,333 - What's the wine made from? - Rice. 1280 01:20:37,416 --> 01:20:39,583 Refinement is not your strong suit. 1281 01:20:43,916 --> 01:20:46,458 Got a kick but not all bad. 1282 01:20:47,208 --> 01:20:48,333 It's relaxing. 1283 01:20:48,333 --> 01:20:49,458 Rice wine. 1284 01:20:50,083 --> 01:20:53,291 Maybe take a few amphorae for fight nights with Wifey. 1285 01:20:55,791 --> 01:20:56,875 You see... 1286 01:20:56,875 --> 01:20:58,625 At times like this... 1287 01:21:02,000 --> 01:21:03,000 I miss her. 1288 01:21:03,500 --> 01:21:05,291 What's with the music? 1289 01:21:05,291 --> 01:21:06,291 A full band? 1290 01:21:06,291 --> 01:21:07,708 Four and a singer. 1291 01:21:08,208 --> 01:21:10,083 - You take them everywhere? - Yes. 1292 01:21:10,083 --> 01:21:11,291 It's practical. 1293 01:21:12,291 --> 01:21:14,416 I always have my favourite music. 1294 01:21:16,000 --> 01:21:16,833 Know it? 1295 01:21:16,833 --> 01:21:18,208 Sure, obviously. 1296 01:21:19,333 --> 01:21:21,583 Now that's what I call music. 1297 01:21:22,750 --> 01:21:24,958 None of your ching-chong nonsense. 1298 01:21:38,583 --> 01:21:39,791 Amore! 1299 01:21:40,875 --> 01:21:41,875 What are you doing? 1300 01:21:43,750 --> 01:21:46,125 - I saw my wife. - I'm nobody's wife. 1301 01:21:47,958 --> 01:21:48,833 Know what? 1302 01:21:48,833 --> 01:21:51,458 Your libation brought back the urge. 1303 01:21:54,125 --> 01:21:57,125 I shall become the next Emperor of China. 1304 01:21:57,708 --> 01:21:58,583 Wow... 1305 01:21:58,583 --> 01:22:01,375 Mama Cleo will never get over it. 1306 01:22:02,166 --> 01:22:04,916 Tomorrow at dawn, we go full Ku Koo. 1307 01:22:22,333 --> 01:22:24,708 Slow down. Our exit's coming up. 1308 01:22:24,708 --> 01:22:26,083 Yes, next one. 1309 01:22:28,041 --> 01:22:30,208 Once more, thanks to Obelix, 1310 01:22:30,208 --> 01:22:34,208 our friends beat Caesar's army to the palace of Prince Ku Koo, 1311 01:22:34,208 --> 01:22:35,958 the man in the bamboo mask. 1312 01:22:36,458 --> 01:22:37,541 Keep up. 1313 01:22:41,291 --> 01:22:42,458 I am To Fu. 1314 01:22:43,458 --> 01:22:46,500 Advisor to the prince regent, Ku Koo. 1315 01:22:47,083 --> 01:22:48,458 Can you prove 1316 01:22:49,166 --> 01:22:51,291 you really are Princess Sa See? 1317 01:22:52,458 --> 01:22:55,125 I give my word. I am the Empress's daughter. 1318 01:22:55,125 --> 01:22:58,833 Sadly, your word is not enough. 1319 01:23:00,083 --> 01:23:01,750 You could be a spy 1320 01:23:02,375 --> 01:23:03,541 in the pay 1321 01:23:03,541 --> 01:23:05,125 of Deng Tsin Quin! 1322 01:23:07,666 --> 01:23:08,500 The coin! 1323 01:23:14,416 --> 01:23:17,916 Will you now bow before your Empress's daughter? 1324 01:23:19,916 --> 01:23:22,041 I apologise profusely, Princess Sa See. 1325 01:23:22,041 --> 01:23:23,791 We must be careful. 1326 01:23:24,416 --> 01:23:26,833 His Highness, the Prince... 1327 01:23:26,833 --> 01:23:27,958 of Ku Koo! 1328 01:23:40,333 --> 01:23:41,333 What the heck? 1329 01:23:41,958 --> 01:23:44,125 Don't turn your back. It's rude! 1330 01:23:44,125 --> 01:23:45,208 In his house. 1331 01:24:07,833 --> 01:24:08,833 Princess Sa See, 1332 01:24:08,833 --> 01:24:11,500 Prince of Ku Koo, with my men, at your service. 1333 01:24:11,500 --> 01:24:14,125 We support your mother, our Empress. 1334 01:24:15,833 --> 01:24:16,833 Thanks. 1335 01:24:17,500 --> 01:24:18,625 Sorry, I'm lost for... 1336 01:24:19,208 --> 01:24:21,500 All my fault. My cursed mane frightens you. 1337 01:24:22,250 --> 01:24:24,083 On the contrary, it suits you. 1338 01:24:25,708 --> 01:24:27,125 Nobody ever said that. 1339 01:24:27,125 --> 01:24:29,083 I never wanted to say it. 1340 01:24:44,500 --> 01:24:46,666 That's love at first look. 1341 01:24:46,666 --> 01:24:49,125 Whole weeks of work for nothing. 1342 01:24:51,916 --> 01:24:53,875 Back to the friend zone. 1343 01:24:55,208 --> 01:24:56,250 Let's go. 1344 01:24:57,708 --> 01:24:59,208 We have a country to save. 1345 01:25:13,208 --> 01:25:15,375 Gotta be cuckoo to build a palace in a hollow. 1346 01:25:15,875 --> 01:25:17,041 No way out. 1347 01:25:17,541 --> 01:25:19,416 Cornered by Caesar. It will be brief. 1348 01:25:23,458 --> 01:25:24,833 Here we go again. 1349 01:25:24,833 --> 01:25:26,083 Blah-blah time. 1350 01:25:38,000 --> 01:25:39,833 I am Princess Sa See. 1351 01:25:39,833 --> 01:25:42,208 Submit to the sole Empress of China. 1352 01:25:43,958 --> 01:25:45,375 Sa See darling, 1353 01:25:45,375 --> 01:25:47,041 we can marry at last. 1354 01:25:47,041 --> 01:25:50,541 Don't bet on it. You'll regret your acts, Deng Tsin Quin. 1355 01:25:51,416 --> 01:25:54,250 - She's no pushover. - Can't lie, sparks aren't flying. 1356 01:25:54,250 --> 01:25:56,708 I have a question for you. 1357 01:25:58,041 --> 01:25:59,375 How many? 1358 01:25:59,375 --> 01:26:00,750 Ten thousand. 1359 01:26:00,750 --> 01:26:04,375 Because we are 80,000-strong! 1360 01:26:10,541 --> 01:26:13,750 That's experience for you. Not boasting, I've never lost. 1361 01:26:13,750 --> 01:26:14,833 You're wonderful. 1362 01:26:14,833 --> 01:26:16,500 You miscounted, Princess. 1363 01:26:16,500 --> 01:26:18,166 Ten thousand plus two. 1364 01:26:18,166 --> 01:26:19,500 If you still need me. 1365 01:26:19,500 --> 01:26:20,750 Peek-a-boo, Julius! 1366 01:26:20,750 --> 01:26:21,958 It's us! 1367 01:26:21,958 --> 01:26:22,875 The crazies! 1368 01:26:22,875 --> 01:26:24,166 Not plus two. 1369 01:26:24,166 --> 01:26:25,375 Plus three! 1370 01:26:25,958 --> 01:26:27,666 The man in the bamboo mask. 1371 01:26:29,583 --> 01:26:30,500 Gross! 1372 01:26:30,500 --> 01:26:32,375 Poor guy's blond! 1373 01:26:32,375 --> 01:26:33,416 It's not too bad. 1374 01:26:33,416 --> 01:26:35,041 Not plus three. Plus four! 1375 01:26:35,750 --> 01:26:36,875 I'm the man 1376 01:26:37,666 --> 01:26:38,791 with feather feet! 1377 01:26:38,791 --> 01:26:40,083 What is this? 1378 01:26:46,583 --> 01:26:48,916 Why talk when you can run? 1379 01:27:01,375 --> 01:27:03,625 He didn't warm up. The chump! 1380 01:27:03,625 --> 01:27:05,416 - Did I say charge? - No. 1381 01:27:08,333 --> 01:27:09,416 Substitute! 1382 01:27:13,625 --> 01:27:15,000 Antivirus! 1383 01:27:51,875 --> 01:27:53,750 Asterix, I'll have a drop. 1384 01:27:54,333 --> 01:27:55,375 Not enough for four. 1385 01:27:55,375 --> 01:27:56,625 "Not enough for four!" 1386 01:28:00,333 --> 01:28:01,708 The cheats! 1387 01:28:01,708 --> 01:28:02,875 Won't help them. 1388 01:28:04,416 --> 01:28:06,291 Charge! 1389 01:28:23,541 --> 01:28:24,541 Yes? 1390 01:28:25,083 --> 01:28:26,083 Of course. 1391 01:29:15,750 --> 01:29:16,708 Help me. 1392 01:29:17,291 --> 01:29:18,375 Pipe down. 1393 01:29:18,375 --> 01:29:19,458 You've got gall. 1394 01:29:20,000 --> 01:29:20,833 Gall... 1395 01:29:20,833 --> 01:29:21,916 Gaul! 1396 01:29:34,833 --> 01:29:36,166 Can I join in? 1397 01:29:36,166 --> 01:29:37,500 Yeah, sure. 1398 01:29:37,500 --> 01:29:38,583 Archers! 1399 01:29:39,541 --> 01:29:40,458 Prepare! 1400 01:29:41,041 --> 01:29:42,041 Draw! 1401 01:29:42,541 --> 01:29:43,625 Loose! 1402 01:29:45,000 --> 01:29:47,291 Deng Tsin Quin, Emperor of China! 1403 01:29:50,208 --> 01:29:51,208 Arrows! 1404 01:30:05,791 --> 01:30:07,250 You can't be serious. 1405 01:30:07,250 --> 01:30:08,666 Don't judge me. 1406 01:30:11,291 --> 01:30:12,250 I feel it. 1407 01:30:13,500 --> 01:30:14,958 I feel it rising. 1408 01:30:18,125 --> 01:30:19,250 It's insane! 1409 01:30:20,708 --> 01:30:22,791 That's it? 1410 01:30:25,500 --> 01:30:26,875 No way! It's a joke. 1411 01:30:36,791 --> 01:30:37,958 I smell victory. 1412 01:30:39,791 --> 01:30:40,958 A particular scent? 1413 01:30:42,166 --> 01:30:44,291 Do readers care for such details? 1414 01:30:44,291 --> 01:30:45,708 It sets the scene. 1415 01:30:47,500 --> 01:30:49,166 The scent of laurels. 1416 01:30:49,166 --> 01:30:51,958 Excellent! 1417 01:31:14,125 --> 01:31:15,083 Thanks. 1418 01:31:15,083 --> 01:31:16,333 You're welcome. 1419 01:31:19,666 --> 01:31:21,583 We fell out but I can help out. 1420 01:31:22,166 --> 01:31:23,000 Sure. 1421 01:31:23,000 --> 01:31:24,000 I'm on your side. 1422 01:31:25,666 --> 01:31:26,500 Sure. 1423 01:31:28,041 --> 01:31:29,583 You'll always be my chum. 1424 01:31:32,750 --> 01:31:33,583 Sure. 1425 01:31:34,916 --> 01:31:36,250 Sorry, Obelix. 1426 01:32:01,083 --> 01:32:02,041 Stop! 1427 01:32:16,583 --> 01:32:18,000 Before I die... 1428 01:32:19,416 --> 01:32:21,166 I must tell you, Princess... 1429 01:32:47,208 --> 01:32:48,041 Look! 1430 01:32:49,791 --> 01:32:51,583 Just when all seems lost, 1431 01:32:52,166 --> 01:32:53,791 the Empress arrives, 1432 01:32:53,791 --> 01:32:56,833 followed by her army and entire people. 1433 01:32:56,833 --> 01:32:58,291 They are all there, 1434 01:32:58,291 --> 01:33:01,916 marching across the middle kingdom 1435 01:33:01,916 --> 01:33:04,375 to the scene of the final battle. 1436 01:33:21,416 --> 01:33:23,333 - What on Earth is this? - Not sure. 1437 01:33:23,333 --> 01:33:25,875 Suddenly, I can't smell the laurels. 1438 01:33:26,416 --> 01:33:27,791 Pine boxes maybe. 1439 01:33:36,750 --> 01:33:38,291 I am Empress of China. 1440 01:33:38,291 --> 01:33:40,916 I order you to leave my empire forthwith. 1441 01:33:41,958 --> 01:33:43,041 Never! 1442 01:33:43,541 --> 01:33:45,708 She has a temper. Reminds me of someone. 1443 01:33:47,666 --> 01:33:48,791 Your Majesty! 1444 01:33:49,666 --> 01:33:52,000 Rather than ruin everything in anger, 1445 01:33:52,000 --> 01:33:54,708 perhaps we could envisage a sort of alliance. 1446 01:33:54,708 --> 01:33:57,625 When the cloud conceals the sun, 1447 01:33:57,625 --> 01:34:00,041 my army will reduce you to dust. 1448 01:34:00,875 --> 01:34:02,041 What's that? 1449 01:34:02,583 --> 01:34:03,541 A local proverb? 1450 01:34:03,541 --> 01:34:06,291 No, it's literal. It's happening. 1451 01:34:12,000 --> 01:34:13,250 How many of you? 1452 01:34:13,250 --> 01:34:14,541 He's at it again. 1453 01:34:15,166 --> 01:34:16,000 One 1454 01:34:16,541 --> 01:34:17,375 million! 1455 01:34:20,500 --> 01:34:21,583 Game changer. 1456 01:34:23,291 --> 01:34:25,541 I'll be going. I'm not from here. 1457 01:34:25,541 --> 01:34:27,625 I'll be in Rome. Keep me posted. 1458 01:34:28,625 --> 01:34:29,708 Don't desert us. 1459 01:34:29,708 --> 01:34:31,208 There's a million of them. 1460 01:34:32,000 --> 01:34:33,000 It's not my war. 1461 01:34:38,791 --> 01:34:40,083 I can't go like this. 1462 01:34:43,166 --> 01:34:44,208 Rear up! 1463 01:34:55,750 --> 01:34:56,875 Got your message! 1464 01:34:56,875 --> 01:34:59,833 Say goodbye to my little pyramid! Cleopatra 1465 01:35:01,083 --> 01:35:02,791 It's been a tough day. 1466 01:35:03,625 --> 01:35:04,458 A tough day. 1467 01:35:43,750 --> 01:35:45,333 That feels good. 1468 01:35:46,833 --> 01:35:48,833 Here we are, back in Gaul. 1469 01:35:49,333 --> 01:35:51,916 Not only for our friends' customary banquet, 1470 01:35:52,625 --> 01:35:56,500 but also to celebrate Gaul and China. 1471 01:35:59,791 --> 01:36:02,458 And now the Empress will speak. 1472 01:36:04,500 --> 01:36:05,583 Valiant Gauls! 1473 01:36:06,666 --> 01:36:08,458 You have my eternal gratitude. 1474 01:36:09,208 --> 01:36:11,250 It was an honour, Your Majesty. 1475 01:36:11,250 --> 01:36:13,750 I insisted we come to help. 1476 01:36:15,166 --> 01:36:17,000 We made this long journey 1477 01:36:17,000 --> 01:36:19,041 to celebrate a beautiful alliance. 1478 01:36:27,750 --> 01:36:29,291 That's my cousin Remix. 1479 01:36:29,875 --> 01:36:31,666 A specialist in world music. 1480 01:36:32,500 --> 01:36:33,708 He's my cousin. 1481 01:36:33,708 --> 01:36:36,000 Mine. Not yours, mine! 1482 01:37:22,666 --> 01:37:25,166 We have a lot in common, you and I. 1483 01:37:25,166 --> 01:37:26,333 We're chiefs. 1484 01:37:26,333 --> 01:37:29,000 I always think power isolates you from people. 1485 01:37:29,000 --> 01:37:30,333 Don't you agree? 1486 01:37:32,708 --> 01:37:34,583 And I'm not done. 1487 01:37:34,583 --> 01:37:36,916 And behind every great man 1488 01:37:36,916 --> 01:37:38,083 is a great woman. 1489 01:37:38,083 --> 01:37:41,166 Without Impedimenta, I'm nothing. At home, she holds the shield. 1490 01:37:41,166 --> 01:37:43,916 I'm not disturbing you? You're having a good day? 1491 01:37:45,291 --> 01:37:46,250 We'll talk at home. 1492 01:37:47,916 --> 01:37:48,833 Mimenta! 1493 01:37:49,458 --> 01:37:52,041 Excuse me, minor marital contretemps. 1494 01:37:55,666 --> 01:37:57,416 I thought he'd never leave. 1495 01:37:59,125 --> 01:38:02,125 You know, when you left the cell, I kept my head... 1496 01:38:03,666 --> 01:38:04,666 However... 1497 01:38:05,333 --> 01:38:06,541 I lost my heart. 1498 01:38:07,291 --> 01:38:08,375 Now, now. 1499 01:38:08,875 --> 01:38:11,125 Well then, where's my little heart? 1500 01:38:14,125 --> 01:38:15,208 Bankruptis, look. 1501 01:38:15,791 --> 01:38:17,541 Uncle didn't nod off in prison. 1502 01:38:18,458 --> 01:38:19,541 Classy! 1503 01:38:26,500 --> 01:38:27,333 One more plate. 1504 01:38:27,333 --> 01:38:29,458 No, a dish. A big dish! Share? 1505 01:38:30,458 --> 01:38:32,250 - I won't crack. - Silly me. 1506 01:38:33,625 --> 01:38:35,208 Still don't miss it? 1507 01:38:35,708 --> 01:38:36,833 Not at all. 1508 01:38:37,333 --> 01:38:38,333 Honestly... 1509 01:38:38,833 --> 01:38:40,000 the smell is vile. 1510 01:38:41,291 --> 01:38:43,208 There are still triggers, though. 1511 01:38:44,166 --> 01:38:46,416 Drink an ale and it becomes tricky. 1512 01:38:47,875 --> 01:38:48,875 Hi, Obelix. 1513 01:38:49,583 --> 01:38:50,416 Panacea. 1514 01:38:51,458 --> 01:38:52,375 I'm interrupting? 1515 01:38:53,416 --> 01:38:54,666 I can see I am. 1516 01:38:55,333 --> 01:38:56,500 You ignore me now. 1517 01:38:57,916 --> 01:38:59,125 Are the rumours true? 1518 01:38:59,125 --> 01:39:00,583 You and Ka Ra Tay? 1519 01:39:01,583 --> 01:39:02,500 Seriously? 1520 01:39:02,500 --> 01:39:04,708 Long-distance relationships don't work. 1521 01:39:04,708 --> 01:39:06,666 Honestly, her there, you here... 1522 01:39:06,666 --> 01:39:07,583 And I'm here. 1523 01:39:08,166 --> 01:39:10,875 Waiting for you for months, worried sick, 1524 01:39:10,875 --> 01:39:12,416 and you fall in love? 1525 01:39:13,291 --> 01:39:14,458 Don't you love me? 1526 01:39:15,375 --> 01:39:16,750 Is that a yes or a no? 1527 01:39:16,750 --> 01:39:18,083 You wanted me. 1528 01:39:18,583 --> 01:39:19,833 Is it a yes or a no? 1529 01:39:19,833 --> 01:39:21,875 - I forget you? - Say yes! 1530 01:39:21,875 --> 01:39:22,958 Panacea... 1531 01:39:24,250 --> 01:39:25,125 Don't bother. 1532 01:39:25,125 --> 01:39:28,000 You know the village thrives on new adventures. 1533 01:39:29,791 --> 01:39:31,916 It's time for me to do the same. 1534 01:39:31,916 --> 01:39:32,958 Nothing personal. 1535 01:39:34,041 --> 01:39:35,083 Excuse me... 1536 01:39:35,916 --> 01:39:36,875 You're nuts. 1537 01:39:38,666 --> 01:39:39,958 But I'd... 1538 01:42:03,750 --> 01:42:04,708 Good, wasn't it? 1539 01:42:05,208 --> 01:42:06,958 Everyone had a great time. 1540 01:42:08,708 --> 01:42:09,916 Yes, a fine feast. 1541 01:42:12,916 --> 01:42:15,125 So Ka Ra Tay has gone home? 1542 01:42:15,125 --> 01:42:17,041 Sure. It's a long ride. 1543 01:42:19,083 --> 01:42:20,708 She said I'm her true love. 1544 01:42:21,916 --> 01:42:22,916 Did she? 1545 01:42:23,583 --> 01:42:24,416 Wonderful. 1546 01:42:25,583 --> 01:42:26,708 Even so... 1547 01:42:27,291 --> 01:42:28,208 she didn't stay? 1548 01:42:28,208 --> 01:42:30,041 She'd have loved to, but... 1549 01:42:30,541 --> 01:42:33,791 Too much work in China, lots of responsibility at the palace. 1550 01:42:34,666 --> 01:42:36,291 But there's time, we'll meet again. 1551 01:42:36,791 --> 01:42:37,625 As grown-ups. 1552 01:42:38,750 --> 01:42:39,583 As grown-ups? 1553 01:42:40,166 --> 01:42:41,000 Yes. 1554 01:42:43,541 --> 01:42:45,125 Tired. I'm going to bed. 1555 01:42:50,666 --> 01:42:52,000 One for the road? 1556 01:42:52,000 --> 01:42:53,875 I wouldn't say no. 1557 01:43:03,166 --> 01:43:04,291 My chum! 1558 01:43:20,250 --> 01:43:21,333 {\an8}THE END 1559 01:43:21,333 --> 01:43:23,791 {\an8}For René Goscinny & Albert Uderzo 1560 01:44:23,250 --> 01:44:24,791 You don't want me to sing? 1561 01:44:29,750 --> 01:44:31,041 I'm gonna sing anyway 1562 01:44:33,125 --> 01:44:34,916 You don't want me to sing? 1563 01:44:36,666 --> 01:44:38,625 You don't want me to sing 1564 01:44:38,625 --> 01:44:39,875 The surprise! 1565 01:44:39,875 --> 01:44:41,625 - What surprise? - Hold on. 1566 01:44:44,333 --> 01:44:47,208 So what is it? My voice or just me? 1567 01:44:47,208 --> 01:44:49,833 So is it me or my voice? 1568 01:44:50,833 --> 01:44:53,750 So is my voice not right? It's what you don't like? 1569 01:44:53,750 --> 01:44:55,500 Or is it just me? 1570 01:44:56,250 --> 01:44:58,958 Tell me what's wrong Always something wrong 1571 01:45:00,250 --> 01:45:02,000 Don't do this, don't do that 1572 01:45:02,000 --> 01:45:04,833 Is it my lyrics or my voice I don't get it 1573 01:45:04,833 --> 01:45:07,750 Don't call me paranoid You're all against me 1574 01:45:32,916 --> 01:45:34,375 Caesar said, 1575 01:45:34,375 --> 01:45:36,500 "I want it gleaming when I get back." 1576 01:45:37,333 --> 01:45:38,416 So buff! 1577 01:45:39,250 --> 01:45:40,500 Buff, buff, buff! 1578 01:45:42,916 --> 01:45:44,125 That's the spirit! 1579 01:45:47,541 --> 01:45:48,791 You keep Gaul. 1580 01:45:48,791 --> 01:45:50,875 I take China, rest of the world. 1581 01:45:50,875 --> 01:45:52,250 It'll go gangbusters. 1582 01:45:52,250 --> 01:45:54,541 Take it or leave it right now. 1583 01:45:55,125 --> 01:45:56,666 What might go gangbusters? 1584 01:45:56,666 --> 01:45:58,541 - I didn't say that. - Sure you did. 1585 01:45:58,541 --> 01:46:00,333 Top-notch merchants like me, 1586 01:46:00,333 --> 01:46:03,125 we read your lips even five kilometers away. 1587 01:46:03,125 --> 01:46:05,125 - Why'd you say that? - I didn't! 1588 01:46:05,125 --> 01:46:07,416 - You did. - I'll lash out! 1589 01:46:09,500 --> 01:46:12,375 You know, duckie, your Julius is no lost cause. 1590 01:46:12,375 --> 01:46:14,875 So just send him a message. 1591 01:46:14,875 --> 01:46:18,000 "I'd go above and beyond, I'd dye my hair blond..." 1592 01:46:18,000 --> 01:46:20,666 It's in the bag. The rascal will be back. 1593 01:46:21,666 --> 01:46:24,541 You're right. Why did I ever flip my headdress? 1594 01:46:27,500 --> 01:46:30,416 Flat out. You got a pigeon charger? 1595 01:46:31,000 --> 01:46:32,916 Sit tight, I'll find you one. 1596 01:46:34,208 --> 01:46:36,000 With an Egyptian connector! 1597 01:46:36,791 --> 01:46:38,125 Why Egyptian? 1598 01:46:49,250 --> 01:46:51,750 Are you done making a ruckus? 1599 01:46:52,333 --> 01:46:54,000 We're trying to sleep! 1600 01:46:59,625 --> 01:47:00,541 Sorry. 1601 01:47:04,541 --> 01:47:06,375 Goodnight! 1602 01:47:06,375 --> 01:47:08,625 Goodnight, little Gauls! 1603 01:50:37,458 --> 01:50:39,666 Subtitle translation by Rob.G (2023) 100022

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