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1
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♪
2
00:00:10,340 --> 00:00:11,530
Aah!
3
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(school bell rings)
4
00:00:21,020 --> 00:00:22,040
(Barney belches)
5
00:00:22,950 --> 00:00:25,290
-(work whistle blows)
-Aah!
6
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(scanner beeps)
7
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(playing blues riff)
8
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(tires screech)
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00:00:47,290 --> 00:00:48,480
Mm.
10
00:00:54,720 --> 00:00:56,530
(tires screeching)
11
00:00:58,720 --> 00:01:00,410
-(horn and toy horn honk)
-What? Whatcha...
12
00:01:00,740 --> 00:01:02,450
(tires screech)
13
00:01:03,470 --> 00:01:05,470
D'oh!
14
00:01:05,470 --> 00:01:05,690
(tires screech)
15
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(grunts)
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(hushed):
Who the hell are these people?
17
00:01:16,430 --> 00:01:18,510
♪
18
00:01:23,080 --> 00:01:26,640
Why you... (frustrated grunting)
19
00:01:33,610 --> 00:01:36,110
Oh, my pâté de campagne!
20
00:01:36,110 --> 00:01:37,840
My "Kick me" sign!
21
00:01:37,840 --> 00:01:39,100
(tires screeching)
22
00:01:39,100 --> 00:01:42,180
Oh, how could she?
Why would she?
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00:01:42,180 --> 00:01:44,950
So many feelings,
all of them anger.
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00:01:44,960 --> 00:01:46,180
Must drive them away.
25
00:01:46,180 --> 00:01:48,530
Rage belongs on the road.
26
00:01:48,530 --> 00:01:50,130
(tires screeching)
27
00:01:51,700 --> 00:01:53,020
(growls angrily)
28
00:01:53,020 --> 00:01:54,710
-(shouting gibberish)
-(meowing)
29
00:01:56,800 --> 00:01:58,680
(shouting gibberish)
30
00:02:08,700 --> 00:02:10,290
(tires screeching)
31
00:02:10,960 --> 00:02:13,210
Where the hell's my phone?
32
00:02:13,210 --> 00:02:16,390
Got to express my rage
to the person who enraged me:
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00:02:16,390 --> 00:02:18,360
my wife.
34
00:02:19,990 --> 00:02:21,570
(people murmuring, shouting)
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00:02:22,570 --> 00:02:25,720
Marge, I am so, so,
36
00:02:25,720 --> 00:02:28,070
so, so angry.
37
00:02:28,070 --> 00:02:30,070
Anger emoji, skull emoji,
38
00:02:30,070 --> 00:02:32,650
eggplant emoji,
because I hate eggplant.
39
00:02:32,650 --> 00:02:34,670
Fire, fire, fire. Aah!
40
00:02:34,670 --> 00:02:36,380
A fire-fire-fire hydrant!
41
00:02:39,160 --> 00:02:40,730
Okay, Homer, stay calm.
42
00:02:40,740 --> 00:02:43,420
Your seat belt will save you.
43
00:02:43,420 --> 00:02:43,640
Wha?
44
00:02:46,740 --> 00:02:48,740
Thank God I still got my airbag.
45
00:02:48,740 --> 00:02:50,410
Safety first.
46
00:02:50,410 --> 00:02:51,240
Hmm?
47
00:02:51,250 --> 00:02:53,170
-Ah. (snoring)
-(whimpers)
48
00:02:53,170 --> 00:02:55,930
Well, at least I got
shatter-proof glass.
49
00:02:55,930 --> 00:02:57,690
Oh, it's shattering!
50
00:02:57,690 --> 00:03:00,610
(distorted):
D'oh...!
51
00:03:04,780 --> 00:03:06,090
(gasps)
52
00:03:06,090 --> 00:03:08,930
I'm soaring through the air
like an angel,
53
00:03:08,930 --> 00:03:10,430
or a beautiful loogie.
54
00:03:10,430 --> 00:03:13,690
How very majestic
the world looks from up here.
55
00:03:13,690 --> 00:03:15,690
The sky, the ocean,
56
00:03:15,700 --> 00:03:16,740
Ralph.
57
00:03:16,740 --> 00:03:19,710
Bart's bald mommy
is going to die.
58
00:03:19,720 --> 00:03:22,280
That's her problem. (laughs)
59
00:03:22,280 --> 00:03:23,700
FEMALE VOICE:
Homer? Yo, big man.
60
00:03:23,700 --> 00:03:26,040
Now's not the time to chill.
61
00:03:26,040 --> 00:03:27,630
What? Who the hell was that?
62
00:03:27,630 --> 00:03:30,870
It's me, Maggie's
Happy Little Elf doll.
63
00:03:30,880 --> 00:03:32,640
Oh, yeah.
64
00:03:32,640 --> 00:03:33,730
She calls you Goobie-Woo.
65
00:03:33,730 --> 00:03:36,210
Of course she does.
That's my damn name.
66
00:03:36,220 --> 00:03:39,070
Okay. Sheesh, Goobie-Woo.
67
00:03:39,070 --> 00:03:40,980
But how are you talking
right now?
68
00:03:40,980 --> 00:03:42,460
That's a little complicated.
69
00:03:42,460 --> 00:03:44,720
You see, I'm a projection
of your psyche,
70
00:03:44,720 --> 00:03:48,060
and you're in the middle of
a very traumatic life event.
71
00:03:48,060 --> 00:03:50,200
Traumatic? What do you mean?
I feel great.
72
00:03:51,660 --> 00:03:52,990
(humming happily)
73
00:03:52,990 --> 00:03:56,900
Homer. Homer, what you're
currently experiencing
74
00:03:56,900 --> 00:03:59,250
is called
post-traumatic elation.
75
00:03:59,260 --> 00:04:01,160
-Is that like Post Raisin Bran?
-(grunts)
76
00:04:01,170 --> 00:04:03,590
Damn it, man,
you are literally in the middle
77
00:04:03,590 --> 00:04:05,340
of a car accident!
78
00:04:06,930 --> 00:04:08,840
What?! Oh, right.
79
00:04:08,840 --> 00:04:10,250
Let me lay this out.
80
00:04:10,250 --> 00:04:12,170
You and me are gonna use
this car ejection
81
00:04:12,180 --> 00:04:15,180
for some self-reflection,
okay, my brother?
82
00:04:15,180 --> 00:04:16,180
And that journey begins with
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00:04:16,180 --> 00:04:17,680
finding the source
of your anger.
84
00:04:17,680 --> 00:04:21,780
Now, gaze into that
little piece of glass.
85
00:04:23,280 --> 00:04:26,280
I need a safe-deposit box.
Want to know why?
86
00:04:26,280 --> 00:04:28,120
Well, that's why I got into
banking in the first place,
87
00:04:28,120 --> 00:04:31,030
for the thrilling stories.
88
00:04:31,030 --> 00:04:33,350
Well, this morning,
I was on my break
89
00:04:33,350 --> 00:04:34,490
-at the nuclear power plant...
-Uh-huh.
90
00:04:34,490 --> 00:04:37,020
...so I went and got myself
a bag of chips.
91
00:04:37,020 --> 00:04:39,350
Potato chips.
92
00:04:39,350 --> 00:04:41,300
I feel like I'm at
a story slam right now.
93
00:04:41,300 --> 00:04:44,020
They were so delicious
and salty and chompy,
94
00:04:44,030 --> 00:04:46,540
and before long,
they were all gone.
95
00:04:46,540 --> 00:04:47,210
-No.
-Almost.
96
00:04:47,210 --> 00:04:49,640
Oh, there's a twist?
97
00:04:49,640 --> 00:04:52,050
But then I pulled out this,
98
00:04:52,050 --> 00:04:55,290
a chip that looks exactly like
John Travolta.
99
00:04:55,290 --> 00:04:58,130
And that's why I need
a safe-deposit box,
100
00:04:58,130 --> 00:05:00,980
to protect this treasure
forever.
101
00:05:02,380 --> 00:05:05,150
Oh, don't study opera staging
in Vienna, they said.
102
00:05:05,160 --> 00:05:07,700
Work in a bank, they said.
103
00:05:09,810 --> 00:05:12,890
Mm-hmm. Mr. Simpson,
it looks like your family
104
00:05:12,890 --> 00:05:15,150
already has a safe-deposit box.
105
00:05:15,150 --> 00:05:18,000
Your wife rented it out
over a decade ago.
106
00:05:18,000 --> 00:05:20,650
-Wow, you've got a wife.
-Wha?
107
00:05:20,650 --> 00:05:21,820
Now, I'm not supposed to
show you this,
108
00:05:21,820 --> 00:05:25,170
but lucky for you right now
I'm super high.
109
00:05:25,180 --> 00:05:28,750
"Last will and testament"?
110
00:05:28,750 --> 00:05:31,010
Written by Clarence Bouvier,
your father-in-law.
111
00:05:31,010 --> 00:05:33,910
Marge's dad left a will?
112
00:05:33,910 --> 00:05:34,920
He never told me about that
113
00:05:34,930 --> 00:05:37,740
in the four conversations
we ever had.
114
00:05:37,750 --> 00:05:39,340
It says here he set up a trust
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00:05:39,340 --> 00:05:42,260
to pay Marge Simpson,
ooh, $1,000 a month.
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A thousand dollars? What? No.
117
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No! What?!
118
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No! No? What?
119
00:05:50,680 --> 00:05:51,870
No.
120
00:05:51,870 --> 00:05:53,610
And I can confirm that
your wife has been
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00:05:53,610 --> 00:05:56,540
receiving that money every month
since her father died.
122
00:05:56,540 --> 00:05:59,040
Marge has been getting
all that money for years,
123
00:05:59,040 --> 00:06:01,100
and she never told me about it.
124
00:06:01,100 --> 00:06:03,270
I-I don't know what to feel.
125
00:06:03,270 --> 00:06:05,270
In these situations,
many of our customers
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00:06:05,270 --> 00:06:06,380
opt for extreme rage.
127
00:06:06,380 --> 00:06:09,720
Well, I hate to just
follow the crowd, but...
128
00:06:09,720 --> 00:06:10,550
(growling angrily)
129
00:06:10,550 --> 00:06:13,350
(grumbling, muttering)
130
00:06:15,120 --> 00:06:17,540
So that's why I was so mad.
131
00:06:17,540 --> 00:06:18,970
And that's why
I'm even angrier now.
132
00:06:18,970 --> 00:06:22,880
For all these years, Marge has
been hiding money from me.
133
00:06:22,880 --> 00:06:26,130
It's a blatant act of, of, uh...
134
00:06:26,130 --> 00:06:28,310
The term is
"financial infidelity."
135
00:06:28,310 --> 00:06:30,570
And I can see how
you'd be angry.
136
00:06:30,570 --> 00:06:31,960
Oh, thank you.
137
00:06:31,980 --> 00:06:33,570
-But it's the wrong emotion
to feel.
-Damn it.
138
00:06:33,580 --> 00:06:36,140
Homer, I'm gonna help you
work through this anger
139
00:06:36,140 --> 00:06:38,970
so you can find peace.
140
00:06:38,970 --> 00:06:41,660
Aw, work? That sounds like work.
141
00:06:41,660 --> 00:06:42,830
How much time do I have?
142
00:06:42,830 --> 00:06:44,250
I'd say about
point-three seconds
143
00:06:44,480 --> 00:06:47,240
-judging by how fast
you're flying towards that tree.
-Aah!
144
00:06:47,240 --> 00:06:50,830
Oh, my God, we're airborne.
145
00:06:50,840 --> 00:06:52,680
-Whoa!
-(all scream)
146
00:06:58,180 --> 00:07:00,010
I don't know which one
I'm more upset about,
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00:07:00,010 --> 00:07:01,180
that my wife has been keeping
148
00:07:01,180 --> 00:07:02,770
a secret mountain of cash
from me,
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00:07:02,770 --> 00:07:06,090
or that I'm about to die
in a stupid, violent car wreck.
150
00:07:06,090 --> 00:07:08,020
Don't make me choose,
Goobie-Woo.
151
00:07:08,020 --> 00:07:09,940
(Homer crying out)
152
00:07:09,950 --> 00:07:11,090
Homer, you're spiraling.
153
00:07:11,100 --> 00:07:13,340
Of course I'm spiraling.
154
00:07:13,340 --> 00:07:15,840
I'm literally flying
through the air.
155
00:07:15,840 --> 00:07:18,340
Whoa, whoa, whoa!
156
00:07:18,350 --> 00:07:21,360
Listen, I know you're feeling
all the feels right now,
157
00:07:21,370 --> 00:07:23,370
but we're getting closer
to the real source of your rage.
158
00:07:23,370 --> 00:07:27,300
What? I'm sorry,
I'm eating my feelings.
159
00:07:27,300 --> 00:07:30,540
Bad Homer. Spit out that food,
and those feelings.
160
00:07:30,540 --> 00:07:33,280
(grunts) What was Marge
spending that money on?
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00:07:33,290 --> 00:07:36,050
And why did she keep it a secret
from everybody?
162
00:07:36,050 --> 00:07:38,210
LISA:
Um, not everybody, Dad.
163
00:07:38,220 --> 00:07:40,120
I hate to say it,
but we've known about
164
00:07:40,130 --> 00:07:42,140
Mom's secret cash
for quite some time.
165
00:07:42,150 --> 00:07:45,150
Yeah, that's why I laugh myself
to sleep every night.
166
00:07:45,150 --> 00:07:47,820
What? And here I've been
worried sick about
167
00:07:47,820 --> 00:07:49,060
your night giggles.
168
00:07:49,060 --> 00:07:51,320
Let me tell you
how we found out.
169
00:07:51,320 --> 00:07:54,320
I was blowing off steam
one day...
170
00:07:58,980 --> 00:08:02,660
...and I saw that Mom was
getting $100,000 a month!
171
00:08:02,670 --> 00:08:05,420
LISA:
Then I explained to Bart
how decimal points work.
172
00:08:08,230 --> 00:08:10,910
Then we asked Mom about it,
and she admitted
173
00:08:10,920 --> 00:08:12,340
the whole thing.
174
00:08:12,340 --> 00:08:16,740
So then tell me, why did she
keep the money a secret?
175
00:08:16,740 --> 00:08:18,010
I don't think you can handle it.
176
00:08:18,010 --> 00:08:20,240
-I can handle it.
-Okay.
177
00:08:20,240 --> 00:08:21,910
The reason is...
178
00:08:21,930 --> 00:08:24,690
(imitating Marge):
Your father is
an ape-faced butt monster
179
00:08:24,690 --> 00:08:27,840
who eats booger sandwiches
and also sucks.
180
00:08:27,840 --> 00:08:29,340
(laughs)
181
00:08:29,340 --> 00:08:32,840
Why, you little
unreliable narrator!
182
00:08:32,850 --> 00:08:35,200
Ow! Glass is sharp.
183
00:08:35,200 --> 00:08:38,520
Oh, even my kids knew
I was being fiscally unmanned.
184
00:08:38,520 --> 00:08:40,280
(normal voice):
Okay, got to go, ape face.
185
00:08:40,280 --> 00:08:41,590
See you at your funeral.
186
00:08:41,690 --> 00:08:44,520
We'll be the kids running around
in our nice clothes,
187
00:08:44,520 --> 00:08:47,360
poignantly unaware of
the finality of death.
188
00:08:47,360 --> 00:08:50,550
Oh, that tree can't
get here fast enough.
189
00:08:50,550 --> 00:08:51,620
(straining)
190
00:08:51,620 --> 00:08:53,200
Okay, Michael Phelps,
191
00:08:53,200 --> 00:08:54,380
don't swim to your death
just yet.
192
00:08:54,380 --> 00:08:57,050
Don't you want to find out
what Marge been
193
00:08:57,050 --> 00:08:58,720
spending the money on?
194
00:08:58,720 --> 00:09:00,540
Oh, you bet I do.
195
00:09:00,540 --> 00:09:03,280
Well, that's what I thought.
Give me your best guess.
196
00:09:03,280 --> 00:09:04,300
I want to give her
the benefit of the doubt,
197
00:09:04,300 --> 00:09:08,450
but I can't help
but imagine the worst.
198
00:09:08,460 --> 00:09:11,460
See you later. I'm off to earn
our only source of income.
199
00:09:11,460 --> 00:09:17,150
He's gone. Robo-butler,
bring me a caviar hoagie.
200
00:09:17,150 --> 00:09:21,740
(robotic voice):
My word. This is so expensive.
201
00:09:21,740 --> 00:09:24,060
Mmm. Mmm-mmm.
202
00:09:24,060 --> 00:09:25,910
You know what else
I'm paying for?
203
00:09:25,920 --> 00:09:29,580
Sexy handymen doing chores
around the house.
204
00:09:29,590 --> 00:09:32,480
♪ I got this feeling on the
summer day when you were gone ♪
205
00:09:32,480 --> 00:09:35,070
♪ I crashed my car
into the bridge ♪
206
00:09:35,070 --> 00:09:37,090
♪ I don't care ♪
207
00:09:37,090 --> 00:09:40,080
♪ I love it ♪
208
00:09:40,080 --> 00:09:42,080
♪ I don't care ♪
209
00:09:42,080 --> 00:09:43,820
♪ I love it, I love it... ♪
210
00:09:43,830 --> 00:09:45,320
I don't know which I love more,
211
00:09:45,330 --> 00:09:48,660
being rich or hiding it
from my husband.
212
00:09:48,660 --> 00:09:49,360
(robotic laugh)
213
00:09:49,440 --> 00:09:52,850
Let us mock him through dance.
214
00:09:52,850 --> 00:09:54,400
(rapid mechanical whirring)
215
00:09:56,690 --> 00:09:57,780
♪ I love it. ♪
216
00:09:57,780 --> 00:09:58,780
(growling angrily)
217
00:09:58,780 --> 00:10:00,930
-Whew, Homer, I hesitate to ask,
218
00:10:00,930 --> 00:10:02,620
but why does your brain think
219
00:10:02,620 --> 00:10:04,840
that's what Marge is doing
with the money?
220
00:10:04,850 --> 00:10:06,290
Because it's what I'd do.
221
00:10:06,290 --> 00:10:08,030
Except the repairmen would be
my favorite rock stars:
222
00:10:08,030 --> 00:10:10,370
Kiss, Bon Jovi, Men at Work,
223
00:10:10,370 --> 00:10:12,870
because of
their excellent work ethic.
224
00:10:12,870 --> 00:10:14,200
-(grunts)
-Stop!
225
00:10:14,210 --> 00:10:16,540
Your wife is a
much better person than you are,
226
00:10:16,540 --> 00:10:19,690
and she's been using the money
in a very different way.
227
00:10:19,690 --> 00:10:20,880
So no robot butler?
228
00:10:20,880 --> 00:10:23,530
♪ You been wasting
all your time ♪
229
00:10:23,530 --> 00:10:25,290
♪ Throwing shade at Marge ♪
230
00:10:25,290 --> 00:10:27,720
♪ You think behind your back
that, yeah ♪
231
00:10:27,720 --> 00:10:29,310
♪ She's been living large ♪
232
00:10:29,310 --> 00:10:33,980
♪ Well, I really, really hate
to burst your bubble, boo ♪
233
00:10:33,980 --> 00:10:35,980
♪ All this time,
she been spending ♪
234
00:10:35,990 --> 00:10:38,710
-♪ All that cash on you ♪
-On me? No way.
235
00:10:38,710 --> 00:10:39,880
I'm sure that-- Huh?
236
00:10:39,880 --> 00:10:41,470
♪ Homie, Homer, check your elf ♪
237
00:10:41,470 --> 00:10:42,970
♪ You ain't too bright,
I'll explain the sitch ♪
238
00:10:42,980 --> 00:10:46,220
♪ All them problems
you think you solved yourself ♪
239
00:10:46,220 --> 00:10:47,330
♪ That was Marge, bitch ♪
240
00:10:47,330 --> 00:10:49,560
♪ That was Marge,
bitch ♪
241
00:10:49,560 --> 00:10:52,220
♪ The time your bar tab
was forgiven by Moe ♪
242
00:10:52,230 --> 00:10:53,650
♪ That was Marge, bitch ♪
243
00:10:53,650 --> 00:10:56,750
♪ That time Dr. Hibbert
reattached your big toe ♪
244
00:10:56,750 --> 00:10:58,160
♪ That was Marge, bitch ♪
245
00:10:58,160 --> 00:11:00,840
♪ The time you got off
of that DUI ♪
246
00:11:00,840 --> 00:11:02,250
♪ That was Marge, bitch ♪
247
00:11:02,250 --> 00:11:04,660
♪ I think by now
you know the reason why ♪
248
00:11:04,660 --> 00:11:06,760
Goobie-Woo in da house!
249
00:11:06,760 --> 00:11:08,330
-Oh, my God.
-Whoo!
250
00:11:08,330 --> 00:11:10,260
All this time, I've been
thinking the worst about Marge,
251
00:11:10,260 --> 00:11:14,840
but she was using the money
to save me.
252
00:11:14,840 --> 00:11:16,600
Ya think?
253
00:11:16,600 --> 00:11:20,600
And she only kept it a secret
to save your dumbass male pride.
254
00:11:20,600 --> 00:11:25,420
♪ Well, Goobie-Goobie-Woo,
now I can clearly see ♪
255
00:11:25,430 --> 00:11:27,280
♪ I've got the greatest wife
and spouse ♪
256
00:11:27,280 --> 00:11:29,700
♪ That there could ever be ♪
257
00:11:29,710 --> 00:11:31,110
♪ And what's more... ♪
Huh?
258
00:11:31,120 --> 00:11:33,360
Holy crap,
I just flew past the tree!
259
00:11:33,360 --> 00:11:35,280
♪ You're gonna live, bitch ♪
260
00:11:35,290 --> 00:11:37,710
♪ You're gonna live,
bitch ♪
261
00:11:37,710 --> 00:11:39,270
♪ You're gonna live, bitch ♪
262
00:11:39,270 --> 00:11:41,120
♪ Yeah, I'm gonna live. ♪
263
00:11:41,130 --> 00:11:42,380
-(laughs)
-Whoo!
264
00:11:42,390 --> 00:11:45,440
Thank God, I don't have to
be mad at Marge anymore.
265
00:11:45,450 --> 00:11:48,450
If anything, you should be mad
at Marge's dad.
266
00:11:48,450 --> 00:11:51,060
-Huh?
-Oh, snap,
I shouldn't have said that.
267
00:11:51,060 --> 00:11:52,060
"Oh, snap"?
What do you mean, "Oh, snap"?
268
00:11:52,060 --> 00:11:54,730
Oh, snap, why not?
What do you know?
269
00:11:54,730 --> 00:11:57,120
Nothing. And closure! (chuckles)
270
00:11:57,120 --> 00:11:59,220
Closure-closure,
closure-closure.
271
00:11:59,220 --> 00:12:01,550
Oh, no. I got to know
what Marge's dad did,
272
00:12:01,550 --> 00:12:02,810
or said or rapped.
273
00:12:02,810 --> 00:12:07,300
Aha, and I've got
the magical footage right here.
274
00:12:07,300 --> 00:12:09,640
Don't look at it!
You've come so far.
275
00:12:09,640 --> 00:12:12,080
Inner peace has almost defeated
your outer rage.
276
00:12:12,080 --> 00:12:14,320
You've got to be strong, man.
277
00:12:14,330 --> 00:12:16,640
So if I look at
that piece of glass,
278
00:12:16,640 --> 00:12:17,920
I could change my fate
279
00:12:17,920 --> 00:12:19,900
and perhaps even risk
my very soul?
280
00:12:19,910 --> 00:12:22,410
Well, I'm cool with that.
281
00:12:22,410 --> 00:12:23,320
What the hell?!
282
00:12:23,410 --> 00:12:26,090
But, Dad,
Homer has a good heart,
283
00:12:26,100 --> 00:12:28,260
and I'm going to marry him.
284
00:12:28,260 --> 00:12:30,250
Oh, honey, this Simpson fellow
will never provide for you.
285
00:12:30,250 --> 00:12:33,120
He has jackass written
all over him.
286
00:12:33,120 --> 00:12:35,750
Marge, do you have
any turpentine?
287
00:12:35,750 --> 00:12:37,520
It's not coming off.
288
00:12:37,850 --> 00:12:39,830
Hmm.
289
00:12:39,830 --> 00:12:43,020
His friends did that
after he fell asleep at a party.
290
00:12:43,020 --> 00:12:46,020
Homer's the sweetest person
I've ever met.
291
00:12:46,020 --> 00:12:47,510
Every time I look into his eyes,
292
00:12:47,510 --> 00:12:50,930
I see someone who will
never stop loving me.
293
00:12:50,940 --> 00:12:53,940
Oh... crap.
294
00:12:53,940 --> 00:12:56,350
Look, I'm gonna leave you
something special in my will
295
00:12:56,350 --> 00:12:58,180
to make sure you're okay,
because you've found
296
00:12:58,190 --> 00:12:59,940
every father's worst nightmare:
297
00:12:59,950 --> 00:13:04,110
true love with a true loser.
298
00:13:04,120 --> 00:13:07,040
Loser? But I thought
Marge's dad liked me.
299
00:13:07,040 --> 00:13:08,950
He was always warning me about
300
00:13:08,950 --> 00:13:10,970
doors hitting my butt
on the way out.
301
00:13:10,970 --> 00:13:13,120
How dare he emasculate me
from beyond the grave?
302
00:13:13,130 --> 00:13:16,810
Uh-huh. I told you
not to look at it.
303
00:13:16,810 --> 00:13:18,650
Wait, how could I remember
that talk
304
00:13:18,650 --> 00:13:21,320
between Marge and her dad
if I wasn't around to see it?
305
00:13:21,320 --> 00:13:24,650
You can see stuff like that
'cause you're a ghost now.
306
00:13:24,650 --> 00:13:26,490
You dead.
307
00:13:28,050 --> 00:13:29,470
(ghostlike):
D'oh...!
308
00:13:29,470 --> 00:13:31,400
I tried to tell you,
and you didn't want to hear me.
309
00:13:31,400 --> 00:13:35,220
You was eating your feelings
and carrying on.
310
00:13:35,220 --> 00:13:37,160
Goobie-Woo knows what's good.
311
00:13:38,240 --> 00:13:40,540
I'm gonna see this
in every dream now.
312
00:13:44,250 --> 00:13:46,580
Oh, my God, I'm in heaven now.
313
00:13:46,580 --> 00:13:49,070
It's so huge, so majestic.
314
00:13:49,070 --> 00:13:50,680
So red.
315
00:13:52,500 --> 00:13:55,170
Ooh, it's one of heaven's
goaty-footed angels.
316
00:13:55,170 --> 00:13:56,670
And look at that giant fork.
317
00:13:56,670 --> 00:14:00,670
Probably for eating
delicious, heavenly s'mores.
318
00:14:00,670 --> 00:14:02,250
Think again, pally.
319
00:14:02,250 --> 00:14:03,860
-(flesh sizzles)
-Ow!
320
00:14:03,860 --> 00:14:05,510
Wait a second, I'm in hell?
But why?
321
00:14:05,510 --> 00:14:08,350
Because you committed
the deadly sin of wrath
322
00:14:08,350 --> 00:14:10,680
against your father-in-law.
323
00:14:10,680 --> 00:14:14,180
So what? Everybody hates
everybody these days.
324
00:14:14,190 --> 00:14:16,280
Plus the rest of
the seven deadly sins
325
00:14:16,280 --> 00:14:19,370
all in the last half second
of your life.
326
00:14:19,380 --> 00:14:21,460
♪
327
00:14:33,110 --> 00:14:35,130
Whoo-hoo! I hit for the cycle!
328
00:14:35,130 --> 00:14:37,210
Okay, so this is
where you check in
329
00:14:37,210 --> 00:14:39,540
for your eternal punishments.
330
00:14:39,540 --> 00:14:40,040
Who are they?
331
00:14:40,050 --> 00:14:42,640
(lively chatter)
332
00:14:42,640 --> 00:14:45,620
That's our exchange program
we have with heaven.
333
00:14:45,630 --> 00:14:47,790
We send them people
condemned for sins
334
00:14:47,800 --> 00:14:48,980
that aren't sins anymore.
335
00:14:49,070 --> 00:14:51,480
FEMALE ANNOUNCER:
All aboard for those damned
336
00:14:51,480 --> 00:14:56,150
for being gay between 5000 BC
and like ten years ago.
337
00:14:56,150 --> 00:14:57,320
-It's about damn time.
-(all cheer)
338
00:14:57,320 --> 00:14:59,230
Make way for Miss Thing!
339
00:15:00,640 --> 00:15:02,900
FEMALE ANNOUNCER:
Now arriving,
former residents of heaven
340
00:15:02,900 --> 00:15:06,310
who are now considered bad
by today's standards.
341
00:15:06,310 --> 00:15:08,070
Wherefore art I in hell?
342
00:15:08,070 --> 00:15:09,480
I gave the world Othello.
343
00:15:09,480 --> 00:15:12,580
Yeah, and performed it
in blackface.
344
00:15:12,580 --> 00:15:14,090
Get outta here.
345
00:15:14,100 --> 00:15:15,320
(fierce growling)
346
00:15:15,320 --> 00:15:17,750
I didn't even actually
write the plays!
347
00:15:17,750 --> 00:15:21,160
Okay, Mr. Simpson,
looks like your punishment is
348
00:15:21,160 --> 00:15:22,510
to be boiled alive
for all eternity
349
00:15:22,510 --> 00:15:24,680
-in a lake of blood.
-All right.
350
00:15:24,680 --> 00:15:25,940
Just wait over there.
351
00:15:25,940 --> 00:15:28,440
Oh, there's a line?
352
00:15:30,430 --> 00:15:32,110
Hey, do you mind if
I go ahead of you?
353
00:15:32,110 --> 00:15:34,160
Yeah, in fact, I do mind.
354
00:15:37,340 --> 00:15:40,750
Oh, for... Oh... (groaning)
355
00:15:43,280 --> 00:15:44,630
Fine, take this buzzer.
356
00:15:44,630 --> 00:15:46,220
When we're ready for you,
it'll electrocute you
357
00:15:46,220 --> 00:15:47,960
and set your torso aflame!
358
00:15:47,960 --> 00:15:50,880
I know how buzzers work.
359
00:15:51,780 --> 00:15:54,030
(people screaming, crying out)
360
00:15:54,030 --> 00:15:57,210
Ooh, poker.
361
00:15:57,210 --> 00:15:59,620
Oh, boy, I got-a the best hand.
362
00:15:59,620 --> 00:16:01,030
I'm-a gonna win.
363
00:16:01,040 --> 00:16:02,030
Ha! Nice bluff, Benito.
364
00:16:02,040 --> 00:16:04,810
(laughter)
365
00:16:04,810 --> 00:16:08,650
Marge's dead dad!
366
00:16:08,650 --> 00:16:11,390
(grunting)
367
00:16:11,400 --> 00:16:13,380
You thought
I wasn't worthy of Marge.
368
00:16:13,380 --> 00:16:15,210
I'll kill you
and send you to super-hell!
369
00:16:15,220 --> 00:16:16,990
Hey, hey, behave yourself.
370
00:16:16,990 --> 00:16:19,720
We have standards here.
371
00:16:19,720 --> 00:16:21,240
Shut up, Tom Selleck!
372
00:16:21,240 --> 00:16:23,330
What Marge's dad did to me
was super-sucky.
373
00:16:23,330 --> 00:16:26,390
It's probably the reason
he ended up here.
374
00:16:26,390 --> 00:16:28,080
Actually, he ended up here
thanks to an unrelated
375
00:16:28,080 --> 00:16:30,320
check forging scheme.
376
00:16:30,320 --> 00:16:33,340
Checks. Remember them?
(chuckles)
377
00:16:33,340 --> 00:16:35,200
Oh, crazy.
378
00:16:35,200 --> 00:16:37,160
Homer, uh, let's you and me
take a walk.
379
00:16:37,160 --> 00:16:40,260
Walking?
Oh, this really is hell.
380
00:16:40,260 --> 00:16:42,600
-I want to show you something.
-(man groaning)
381
00:16:44,910 --> 00:16:46,600
Wow, another screen?
382
00:16:46,600 --> 00:16:50,270
Yeah, this is hell.
Screens everywhere.
383
00:16:50,270 --> 00:16:53,530
Mom, Dad, I'd like you
to meet Mercer.
384
00:16:53,530 --> 00:16:55,180
He designs board games.
385
00:16:55,180 --> 00:16:57,270
Oh, like Parker Brothers?
386
00:16:57,270 --> 00:17:00,280
(laughs)
Yeah, like Parker Brothers. No.
387
00:17:00,280 --> 00:17:03,370
You actually play that
mainstream corporate garbage?
388
00:17:03,370 --> 00:17:06,110
You're so lucky
to be meeting me today.
389
00:17:06,120 --> 00:17:08,190
Seriously, I am
so jealous of you.
390
00:17:08,190 --> 00:17:09,430
Check this out.
391
00:17:09,440 --> 00:17:12,210
My new game
is gonna be a huge hit.
392
00:17:13,380 --> 00:17:15,440
It combines the Stratego-ness
of Stratego,
393
00:17:15,440 --> 00:17:18,630
the implicit sexual tension
of Twister,
394
00:17:18,630 --> 00:17:21,890
and the hard-driving whimsy
of Tic-Tac-Toe.
395
00:17:21,890 --> 00:17:24,120
It's called Side-gammon.
396
00:17:24,120 --> 00:17:27,140
Who's up for a game? Huh?
397
00:17:28,460 --> 00:17:30,050
Oh, come on!
398
00:17:30,050 --> 00:17:31,460
It's super complicated!
399
00:17:31,460 --> 00:17:33,380
You'll be out
before you know it,
400
00:17:33,390 --> 00:17:35,460
and you'll be humiliated!
401
00:17:35,460 --> 00:17:37,910
(growls angrily) Excuse me,
I have to go yell something
402
00:17:37,910 --> 00:17:40,300
into your washer-dryer.
403
00:17:40,300 --> 00:17:43,240
He really is brilliant,
and he has a good heart.
404
00:17:43,250 --> 00:17:44,730
-I'm going to marry him.
-(door closes)
405
00:17:44,730 --> 00:17:46,990
MERCER (in other room):
I'm the Mozart of board games
406
00:17:46,990 --> 00:17:48,140
and novelties!
407
00:17:48,140 --> 00:17:51,480
Why, that guy's a total loser.
408
00:17:51,480 --> 00:17:53,500
I don't want him to marry Lisa.
409
00:17:53,500 --> 00:17:56,410
Wait, I was never as bad
as him, was I?
410
00:17:56,410 --> 00:17:59,480
(chuckles)
Actually, there was a time
411
00:17:59,490 --> 00:18:01,150
when I would have preferred
that guy to you.
412
00:18:01,160 --> 00:18:02,500
Plus, you know what?
413
00:18:02,510 --> 00:18:04,320
We got an advance copy
of Side-gammon,
414
00:18:04,330 --> 00:18:06,600
-and it's not bad.
-Oh, my God.
415
00:18:06,600 --> 00:18:09,330
I'm starting to see things
from another point of view.
416
00:18:09,330 --> 00:18:10,510
Your point of view.
417
00:18:10,510 --> 00:18:12,510
I didn't even know
other people had those.
418
00:18:12,520 --> 00:18:14,440
You were just worried
about Marge,
419
00:18:14,440 --> 00:18:16,110
the way I'd be worried
about Lisa.
420
00:18:16,110 --> 00:18:19,100
No matter how old
and dead we get,
421
00:18:19,100 --> 00:18:22,170
we just want to make sure
our little girls are okay.
422
00:18:22,180 --> 00:18:24,680
-(buzzer buzzing)
-D'oh!
423
00:18:24,680 --> 00:18:27,100
FEMALE ANNOUNCER:
Homer Simpson,
we are now ready
424
00:18:27,110 --> 00:18:29,270
to boil you for eternity
in a lake of blood.
425
00:18:29,270 --> 00:18:33,130
Wow, suddenly
that doesn't sound so good.
426
00:18:33,130 --> 00:18:35,460
(angelic choir sings)
427
00:18:35,460 --> 00:18:36,960
Eh, you just had
an epiphany, pally,
428
00:18:36,970 --> 00:18:38,540
which means you get
to go back to your life.
429
00:18:38,540 --> 00:18:42,950
It's a dumb rule, but we need
a two-thirds vote to change it.
430
00:18:42,950 --> 00:18:44,470
Which is also a dumb rule.
431
00:18:44,470 --> 00:18:46,700
What can I say?
Hell ain't perfect.
432
00:18:46,700 --> 00:18:48,720
Homer, you're getting
another chance.
433
00:18:48,720 --> 00:18:52,300
Now, get the hell out of hell
and go back to my daughter.
434
00:18:52,300 --> 00:18:55,710
You heard the man.
Let's get your ass home.
435
00:18:55,710 --> 00:18:56,280
(angelic choir sings)
436
00:18:58,520 --> 00:18:59,990
BOTH:
Ow!
437
00:18:59,990 --> 00:19:02,610
-Damn, that hurt.
-(groans)
438
00:19:05,140 --> 00:19:07,480
You died and went to hell.
439
00:19:07,480 --> 00:19:08,890
Ralph knows.
440
00:19:08,890 --> 00:19:10,500
Whee!
441
00:19:12,240 --> 00:19:13,330
Thank you, Goobie-Woo.
442
00:19:13,340 --> 00:19:15,990
I learned more
tumbling through the air
443
00:19:15,990 --> 00:19:18,900
than I ever did
tumbling through my life.
444
00:19:18,900 --> 00:19:21,010
-(tires screech)
-(siren whoops)
445
00:19:24,070 --> 00:19:26,010
-(gasps) Dad!
-Homer!
446
00:19:27,760 --> 00:19:30,090
Goobie-Woo. (giggles)
447
00:19:30,090 --> 00:19:32,840
Oh, Homie,
thank God you're okay.
448
00:19:32,840 --> 00:19:34,730
(Homer groaning)
449
00:19:38,940 --> 00:19:40,340
Homer, I have to ask you,
450
00:19:40,350 --> 00:19:43,740
why did you send me
that angry text?
451
00:19:46,040 --> 00:19:47,260
It doesn't matter.
452
00:19:47,260 --> 00:19:49,260
I have since set aside
my own ego
453
00:19:49,260 --> 00:19:51,600
and learned to savor
my many blessings.
454
00:19:51,600 --> 00:19:55,210
And you, my darling,
are foremost amongst them.
455
00:19:55,210 --> 00:19:58,120
I don't understand
a thing he's saying.
456
00:19:58,120 --> 00:20:00,550
(shouting gibberish)
457
00:20:02,780 --> 00:20:04,790
He seems to be in a lot of pain.
458
00:20:04,800 --> 00:20:06,290
Can't you give him something?
459
00:20:06,300 --> 00:20:07,450
Absolutely not.
460
00:20:07,450 --> 00:20:08,610
No can do till we get
to the hospital.
461
00:20:08,620 --> 00:20:11,800
(groaning)
462
00:20:11,800 --> 00:20:13,140
(Marge sighs)
463
00:20:16,470 --> 00:20:18,400
(sighs):
Ah.
464
00:20:18,400 --> 00:20:21,650
I guess I can go another month
without a new purse.
465
00:20:23,050 --> 00:20:25,810
♪ That's the end, bitch ♪
466
00:20:25,820 --> 00:20:27,910
♪ That's the end,
bitch ♪
467
00:20:27,910 --> 00:20:28,910
♪ That's the end. ♪
468
00:20:28,910 --> 00:20:31,470
That's the end. (laughs)
469
00:20:31,470 --> 00:20:33,750
Captioning sponsored by
20th CENTURY FOX TELEVISION
470
00:20:33,750 --> 00:20:35,570
and FOX BROADCASTING COMPANY
471
00:20:35,570 --> 00:20:36,990
and TOYOTA.
472
00:20:37,090 --> 00:20:39,250
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
access.wgbh.org
473
00:20:42,260 --> 00:20:44,740
You see, I'm a projection
of your psyche,
474
00:20:44,740 --> 00:20:46,240
and you're in the middle of
475
00:20:46,240 --> 00:20:49,250
-a very traumatic life event.
-LISA: And cut.
476
00:20:49,250 --> 00:20:50,760
Now we should move on
to the part
477
00:20:50,770 --> 00:20:52,580
where your character slaps Dad.
478
00:20:52,580 --> 00:20:53,920
Wait a minute,
isn't that just a sound effect?
479
00:20:53,920 --> 00:20:57,660
No, it's got to be real.
Right, Lizzo?
480
00:20:57,660 --> 00:21:01,920
Uh, seems a bit excessive to me,
but, hey, pshh, you're the kid.
481
00:21:01,930 --> 00:21:03,940
You know what?
If you're uncomfortable,
482
00:21:03,950 --> 00:21:06,190
-you don't have to do it.
-(Homer sighs)
483
00:21:06,190 --> 00:21:08,600
I could do it for you.
And action!
484
00:21:08,600 --> 00:21:11,290
-(grunts)
-Maybe a few more for safety?
485
00:21:11,290 --> 00:21:12,510
(Homer grunting)
486
00:21:12,510 --> 00:21:15,440
Whose safety? (grunts)
I don't feel safe!
487
00:21:15,440 --> 00:21:18,180
-(rhythmic slapping)
-Ow. Ow.
488
00:21:18,190 --> 00:21:19,530
Why, you little...
489
00:21:19,540 --> 00:21:20,690
-This beat is fire.
-(Homer continues grunting)
490
00:21:20,690 --> 00:21:23,860
Yo, Lisa, how 'bout
I get Sasha Flute,
491
00:21:23,860 --> 00:21:25,860
you get your saxamaphone,
492
00:21:25,860 --> 00:21:27,860
and we, uh, jam?
493
00:21:27,860 --> 00:21:29,540
I'd love to.
494
00:21:29,550 --> 00:21:31,860
-(playing Simpsons theme)
-Ow. Ow.
495
00:21:31,870 --> 00:21:34,520
Ow. Stop that.
496
00:21:35,870 --> 00:21:37,790
Ow. Ow.
497
00:21:37,800 --> 00:21:41,520
Ow. Ow. Ow.
498
00:21:43,040 --> 00:21:44,880
Why, you little...
499
00:21:44,880 --> 00:21:46,880
Ow.
500
00:21:46,880 --> 00:21:48,280
(music ends)
501
00:21:49,310 --> 00:21:50,160
Shh!
36189
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