All language subtitles for Bobs.Burgers.S13E07.Ready.Player.Gene.1080p.HULU.WEB-DL.DDP5.1.H.264-NTb_track3_[eng]

Wow, a virtual reality arcade.

Is this for real?

I mean, I know it's not,

'cause it's virtual, but still.

I love fun things that are
steps from where I live.

Question, how does one do VR?

You don't just do VR,
you experience it.

Have you experienced it?

No, but I've watched
videos online

and I've read message boards
and I've meditated about it

and I'm sure that
when I actually do it,

it'll be the greatest thing
that's ever happened to me.

- You also said that
about bread bowls.
- And roller shoes.

Yeah, but this is different.

It's like if reality
and computers had a baby

and that baby made you happier
than any real baby could.

Hey, kids.
How was school?

I don't know.
Pretty sure I went to it.

All I can think about
is this now.

I know, right?

I came out here to sweep,
but I really just wanted

to look in the window again.

I think I'd like
to experience a reality

that's different from this one.

No offense,
you're-you're all great.

It's opening tomorrow
is what I'm getting from that.

High five!

That-that wasn't
our best high five.

It wasn't our worst.

Remember that time
on the couch?

When I sprained my shoulder?

Yes. It still hurts.

Anyway, we're definitely
doing this...

$45 per hour?

- Ooh.
- Ooh.

Yeah, we're not doing that.
Sorry, Gene.

Hey, don't look now,
but Mom's staring at us.

Uh-oh, she knows
I'm not sweeping.

Come inside, I'm lonely.

Oop, I made eye contact.
We better go in.

- Yeah.
- It's like a dog in the pound
or something.

But sadder.

What? $45 an hour for VR?

Geez, did we get into
the wrong business?

Did you just figure that out?

Yeah. Sorry, kids,
but we can't afford

to spend $135 for you to play

virtual reality games
for an hour.

This guy with math, huh?

It took me a while.

Mother, father, I've decided
I'll pay for my ticket

with my own money.

Because if I can't
experience VR,

then I have no use for R.

- Really?
- I thought you were
saving up for something.

A turntable. And you were
gonna call it Mabel.

Or Betty Grable.
That was then.

I'm a VR man now.

Tina, Louise, how about
you use your own money

and come with me?

We could be virtual siblings.

No offense, Gene,

but if we have to spend
our own money,

then my answer
is no friggin' way.

Yeah, that's a "Mom and Dad's
money only" situation for me.

But they don't love us enough,
and that's fine.

I have menu tower.

I don't love when you kids
do menu tower.

It's good if people
can read them

and use them to make decisions
about the food.

Great, Dad.
Now look what you did.

- I didn't do it. Mm.
- Well, your attitude did.

- What you doing,
counting your money?
- Yeah.

Looks like
you've saved a lot.

$93.38.

And a Canadian coin
that I'll never spend

because it's called a Loonie.

Gene, I got excited
about the VR place, too,

but are you sure
you want to spend

all your money on it?

You've been saving up
for so long,

which has been surprising
to none of us.

Oh, I'm sure.

- And, Dad?
- Yeah?

I'd like to pay for you
to come with me.

Oh-oh, that's really nice, Gene,

but I'd, you know,
I'd rather

you spend your money
on something for yourself.

But I want to share this
with someone,

and you seem
the most interested.

Plus, what if I go alone

and I get stuck
in the VR world?

Not that
that would be bad, necessarily,

but I'd want
someone there with me

that knows my bedtime routine.

Hey, how about this?
I-It's a lot of money.

Do me a favor
before you decide

and just sleep on it, okay?

All right. The ones
and fives will be cushy,

but I'm worried the coins
will stick to my face.

No, don't actually
sleep on your money.

Money is dirty.

Okay, Mr. Mixed Signals.

And brush your teeth, Gene.

You're all over the place.

Oh...

Oh.

Hmm. I'll fly to the end
of the universe. Then smoothies.

Oh...

- Oh.
-
Asteroid punch. Asteroid punch.

- Ooh.
- Power up. Laser slice.

Oh...

High score.

Mm.

Dad. Dad. Dad. Dad.

- Dad. Dad.
- Huh? Wh-what... what?

I've decided. We're going.

Let's start picking out
an outfit for you.

It's 6:00 in the morning.

So we have time
to try different options.

I'm gonna sleep
a little bit more.

You lay out
some outfits for me.

Mm. Pick out something
for me, too.

Even though I'm not going.

Okay.

Whoa, easy there, buddy.

Why don't you do whatever
it is you're doing

away from our
incredible project?

Or just sit very still until
it's time for you to leave.

Sorry, I'm just
doing some warm-ups.

Virtual reality
is probably gonna be

pretty physically demanding,

and I want to be limber.

You do the same thing
before we go to a buffet.

Ready. Father, are you ready
to have your mind blown?

- Um, yes.
- Louder!

Yes, I'm-I-m ready.

There's my papa.
Now let's go.

Oh. Okay, bye.

Bye. Have fun.

I hope you don't
turn into Trons.

Uh, see you guys in a bit.

I mean, hopefully
not the menu tower.

Don't listen to him, menu tower.

- You're beautiful.
- He's jealous.

So, what are you gonna make
your virtual wiener look like?

- Is that a thing?
- I assume so.

Two tickets, please.

I'm treating the old man
to the ride of his life.

Who knows how much time he has,

- so make it good.
- You got it.

He wanted to use his own money.

He normally doesn't
buy things for me.

I do if he's a good little boy.

We'll take your finest
VR experience,

and extra-interesting
wieners, please.

I don't understand
the wiener thing,

but, uh, follow me.

Ooh, Dad,
they have Beat Bakin'!

I don't know what
that is, but yeah.

It's one of the best games.

It combines baked goods
with VR,

so... Mama likey.

Oh, that one's actually not
up and running yet.

I think you're thinking about
Beat Bakin',

B-A-K-I-N, with an apostrophe.

This is Beat Baking,
which is similar,

but also significantly
different enough

to be considered its own game,

and not a derivative copy.

Uh, I'm required to say that.

- Oh.
- Oh, okay.

Let's get this party VR-ted.

All right,
you're all strapped in.

Uh, remember, do not try to
remove the headsets yourselves.

These should only be removed
by an employee,

which is me.

Uh, okay, I think
we're ready to go.

My name's Nick.
Call me if you need me.

But, uh, you won't need me
'cause you'll be

on top of a mountain!

Great.
This is gonna be fun, Gene.

Yep, $90 to change
my life forever.

Goodbye, old life,
you sick joke.

You should know
some people may experience

dizziness or nausea.

- Oh, um...
- Also, I'm not responsible
for seizures.

- Wha-What?
- Let's go. We're wasting
virtual daylight.

Okay dokey.

- Huh. Okay.
- Dad?

- Gene, where are you?
- Right here.
What do I look like?

You look like a potato holding
mountain climbing equipment.

You look like, yeah,
like a potato.

- An athletic potato?
- Mm, yup, yup.

So this is what
being outside is like.

Look at us, climbing a mount--
whoa-- mountain.

Oh, your arms are backwards now.

Did you do that on purpose?

I don't know. Uh-oh.

None of this
makes me nauseous at all.

Aah! What happened?

My arms just turned
into legs, I think.

I mean, it's fun,
but it doesn't seem like

the best idea
for mountain climbing.

- Uh, Nick?
- I'm Gene.

No, I-I'm calling for the guy.

Nick, are you there?

Uh, I think we need some help
with how great this is going.

Whoever said
"ain't no mountain high enough"

was sorely mistaken.

- Nick. Nick.
- Hi. Is there a problem?

I was on my phone,
and then you seemed to be

- yelling a lot.
- Yeah. Hey, uh,

there might be something
wrong with the game.

- Really?
- I mean, my dad's arms
are on backwards,

and my arms are legs,

and we're both sliding
down the mountain

unathletically.

Oh, yeah. Wow.
Look at that.

Yeah and I-I'm feeling
a little dizzy.

Well, I told you you might.

I still don't like it.

All right, here.
How about this?

Why don't I move you on

to one of our other
amazing games,

and I'll take a look
at this one.

Please take the headset off. Hurry.

I-I'm gonna close my eyes.
Oh, thank you.

This doesn't count
against our hour, right?

No, no, no, no.
I mean, yes, but no.

- So, no?
- Exactly. But yes.

Careful, Tina, careful.

This is the most important thing

anyone's ever done in the world.

Do you think I don't know that?!

Hey, kids. Whoa!

Check out that menu tower.

Is that the tallest
you've ever gotten it?

Yeah. We're in uncharted territory.

It's true. In the past,
we've had some... hiccups.

Hey, I'm back.

- No!
- No!
- Let's get him!

- Mom!
- Oh, my God!
- Murder her!

- Honest mistake.
- Yep.
- Gene...

Yeah, So I'm gonna
need everybody

to stop breathing, okay?

The air might knock it over.

If you have to breathe,
go outside.

Yes, ma'am.

You know what
I'm thinking, Tina?

I'm thinking we might
be able to go all the way.

- All the way? N-No.
- Yes.

What's "all the way" mean?

Up to the ceiling, Teddy.

It's a dream we never
thought would come true.

Until today.

Careful, Mom.
No swinging doors open.

Oh, sorry. Wow.

You got another row on there.

Getting taller
and wider.

There's talk of going
all the way.

We're gonna need more menus.

Do we still have the ones
with the misprint?

The ones where we spelled
"burger" "boogers"?

- I thought it was
"French flies."
- It was both.

Girls, I know
I've been the cool mom

letting you do this menu tower,

but I think we got to call it.

I mean, what if a customer
comes in?

Why would that happen?

Plus, they'll be in awe.

They'll be like,
"I'm eating a burger

in the presence of greatness."

They'll probably
tell the newspaper to come.

Or at least
a great menu tower blog.

I don't know, kids.

We got to at least
pretend to be a restaurant.

Come on, Linda,
don't you want to be

part of something
for once in your life?

Yeah, you should
want us to succeed.

- We're your children.
- Yeah.

Okay, fine, I'll get the other
menus from the basement.

But this comes down before
Gene and Dad get back.

I'm a responsible
business owner.

I'm proud of you, Linda!
Ooh.

Are we moving?

I can't tell.

But this virtual water
is impressive.

I think I can feel it
splashing on my arms.

That's me.
I'm spraying water on you

to make the game more immersive.

Is it working?

It's kind of making me
have to pee.

Oh, uh, I'll stop.
Don't pee on the Jet Skis.

At least
I'm not dizzy anymore.

Just, ugh, seasick.

Just look at the horizon.

Actually, don't.

It keeps disappearing
and then reappearing

and also rotating?

Make up your mind, horizon!

Easy, Mom. Easy.

There we go.

Thanks.
You have a restroom?

- No.
- Tell him to go outside. Please.

Can you walk very slowly?

Uh, yeah, I think so.

Oh, God. Okay, just...

Maybe don't swing
your arms so much. Thank you.

- That was close.
- Too close.

Should we just close
the restaurant?

No, we're not closing
the restaurant.

Should we put it to a vote?
Closing the restaurant?

Maybe for good?
Just do this professionally?

- No.
- Well, shoot, you're outvoted.

So don't be a sore loser, Mom.

Uh, flying should be
pretty fun, right?

Looks fun from here.

Did you start?

The guy said if you
flap your wings

you'll fly faster.
You want to try that?

Okay. Going faster.
Aah, too fast! Too fast!

- Whoa!
- Okay, good.

Uh, I-I'll be right back.

Um, keep playing.

Excuse me. Hi.

Hey, how about that
flying game, huh?

That fan makes it
feel like the air's

blowing right in your face.

Actually, the fan might
be just blowing dust around.

But we have a bigger problem,
which is the game is bad,

like the other ones were, also.

What? No, they're not bad.

Uh, they're just,
you know, buggy.

And all the stuff
doesn't always work.

Uh-huh, right.
Well, you know,

my son spent all his money
buying the tickets.

I was wondering
if there was a way

he could maybe get
some of it back, or all of it?

Sorry, can't do that.

It's against the owner's policy
to give refunds

after customers play the games.

- Can I talk to the owner?
- He's not answering my calls.

- What?
- Yeah I've been calling him.
He won't answer.

- I-Isn't this the first day?
- It's a soft opening.

- Yes, very soft.
- Ouch.

Can you do something
to make up for

how awful this has been
so far? Sorry.

Listen, I can't do refunds,

but I can do another hour
for free.

And I'll troubleshoot
everything tonight,

watch some tutorials
and talk to my cousin.

He knows a lot about VR.

Don't you know a lot about VR?

Yes. So more things
might work tomorrow.

- You want to come back then?
- Uh, great.

So free more of this.

- You're welcome.
- Hey, buddy,

h-how you doing in there?

Okay. Uh, looks like
you're back in the air.

That's good, right?

I can't tell.
I think my tears are

blurring up the headset.

- Oh, boy.
- No crying in the headsets, please.

Sorry, I'll just cry virtually.

- So that was...
- A complete waste.
You and Mom were right.

I should have saved my money.

I could have bought
a turntable

and then made
my all-scratching album

called The Tables Have Turned.

I'm sorry, Gene.
Are you okay?

Yeah. It's not your fault
that a boy's hopes and dreams

- can be murdered in cold blood.
- Uh-huh.

All those years of birthday card
money down the drain.

This is worse than
when I actually flushed

that birthday money
down the drain.

Yeah, that was not smart.

I'm sorry, I can't
get your money back,

but I got you an extra hour
of VR for free.

We-we can go tomorrow.

And you can save more, eventually.

Yeah, but it's gonna
take forever.

Between you and me,
my job doesn't pay that well.

Oh, no.

"Oh, no" you love it?

Before you say anything,
try to appreciate

the craftsmanship.

I've never seen them
so focused, Bob.

- Please let us keep it up.
- Yeah, please.

I want to see how high
they can go.

I need to see. Please!

- Please.
- Please.

I'm surprised you let the girls
keep the menu tower up.

I just couldn't handle
seeing all three of my kids

have their hearts broken
today, Lin.

One was enough.
I don't want to be dramatic,

but I think that VR place
took Gene's childhood.

Well, you know, there's
disappointment in life.

I guess 11 years old
is maybe an okay time

to get a little mud
in your muffin.

I mean, I definitely got
a lot of mud in my muffin

when I was a kid,
but I was hoping

he wouldn't
have to have any mud,

or very little mud.

I'm not sure
how that metaphor works.

Anyway, this was big.

All of his savings.

I hope we can have fun tomorrow.

I don't know why
you want to go back

to that stinking
goggle computer place.

Because maybe it could
fix things.

We-We'll go and we'll have fun.

And I won't get that nauseous,
and if I do,

I'll just pretend that I like it

and it'll be like
none of that happened today

and Gene will be happy again.

I'm gonna go see how he's doing.

Okay. Bring me back food.
See if we have muffins.

- Are you awake?
- Yeah I was just thinking about

all the other things
that I'm excited about

that are probably
not that great.

Like going to Europe.
I'm guessing the whole,

"I see London, I see France,

I see someone's underpants"
thing is a lie.

And heaven.

Gene, I'm sorry
we didn't get your money back,

but hopefully
when we go tomorrow

it'll be more fun,
and you'll feel better about it.

Yeah.
Oh, and home ownership--

that must be disappointing, too.

I wouldn't know about that.

Are you saying we rent?

Steady, steady.

So you're trying to get it
up to the ceiling?

- Yes.
- And then what?

And then we win.

Uh-huh.
Any chance we can win

before we open
and celebrate by cleaning up?

Don't rush 'em, Bob.

They don't like it
when you rush 'em.

They get very snippy.

Okay, well, Gene,
let's go to the VR place

and I'll pretend I'm not
rooting for a small earthquake.

Oh, good, it's still standing.

Standing proud,
standing tall.

Uh, I brought
some scaffolding stuff,

- just in case
- Oh, my God.

Hey, just-doesn't-get-it guy,

close the door slowly.

Hi. We're back
and ready for this

to go really well this time.

Okay, hey, good news.

I got Beat Baking
up and running.

Oh, Gene, did you hear that?
You were excited

- about Beat Bakin', right?
- Yeah.

Again, it's Beat Baking,
not Beat Bakin'.

- No. Right.
- Two different games.

- Sure.
- One is the popular one,
one is this one.

- Right.
- And both are fun.

Uh, great.

- So, Gene, you want to play it?
- Sure.

Let's get beat bakin'.

-"Baking."
- Yup.

All right,
when the music starts,

hit all the cake batter
ingredients that fly at you,

and you have to do it
on beat, so, uh,

having rhythm helps.

- Sorry, Dad.
- I'll try my best.

Okay you're all set.

Oh, I got to take this.
It's my boss.

Uh, I kinda
want to talk to him, too.

Yeah, totally.
I'm gonna start this up

and, uh, I'll be back.

Hey, look how big
these spoons are.

- This is already great.
- Begin.

Oh, it's starting. Here we go.

Kind of fun.
Eggs. Flour, flour. Milk.

It is sort of fun.
Pew! Pew! Pew! Pew!

- Pew, pew, pew!
- Hi-yah! Hi-yah! Hi-yah!

Take that, and that!

Oh, no. What's happening?

I-I don't know.

Uh, maybe it's about
to get more exciting?

Like how things get glitchy
before they get really good?

Dang it, everything here
is broken!

This is not fun!
I quit! I quit!

How do you get this
headset off?!

Uh, I don't know.

I-I think he tightened
something in the back.

Where's Nick?

Hey, uh, Nick,

can you help us
with these headsets?

No, no, I haven't been paid.

I set up this whole thing
and I haven't been paid.

Well, I'm not getting
off the phone until

you put a paycheck in my hand.

Yes, I know how phones work.

Okay, nobody's coming
and nobody

hears me screaming
and I-I can't take this off.

We're trapped!
This is virtually and literally

the worst thing
that's ever happened!

Jamiroquai, give me strength!

All right, let me try
to get your headset off.

- Oh, God, I feel sick.
- Hurry.

If you vomit in VR,
you vomit in real life!

It's not coming off.
I can't find the latch.

Aah! I'm trapped

in the worst financial decision
my heart ever made!

One more layer,
and we're at the ceiling.

I can't believe
I'm witnessing this.

Phew. Lot of pressure.

Uh, Tina, you want
to do the honors?

What? Me?

Only because I, um...
I can't reach.

Yes, you can.
There's a ladder.

That's how they work.

Well, uh, I want you to do it

because I'm nice.

Whew.
Okay, fine.

Here I go.

I can't do it!
My hands are sweaty.

They're shaky and sweaty.
They're like sprinklers.

All right, I'll do it.
I'll just go up the ladder

and not ruin everything
we've worked for.

Or, you know
who should do this? Teddy.

He's been sitting
on the sidelines

for too long, waiting
to get into the big show.

Oh, yeah. I can see that.

Me? Uh, yeah, um, I can't.

I'm afraid of ladders.

- But it's your ladder.
- I know. Crazy, right?

Well, maybe
this is a good stopping point?

Yeah. Maybe we've flown
close enough to the... ceiling?

Ugh. I'm not really
afraid of ladders.

I'm just too scared to do it.
I actually love ladders.

Hey, are you kidding me?

I've been watching this thing
for two days

and you're not gonna finish?

Look, if you do it and you fail,

so you get a little mud
in your muffin.

But if you don't try at all,

you'll regret it
for the rest of your life.

You're trotting out the old
"mud in your muffin" thing

- again, huh?
- Yeah. I said it to your father

last night, and then
he looked at me like,

"Wow, you're
the smartest person ever."

- I'm gonna say it more often.
- Oh, cool.

Ugh. Mom's right.
We can't quit now.

Yeah. We've come so far,
so, why don't you do it?

- You do it.
- No, you do it.

Okay, fine,
we'll just do it together.

Uh, not sure if that goes
against ladder safety codes.

It does, but, uh, I won't tell.

Okay.

Oh, God, careful.
Careful. Careful.

I think I'm gonna cry.

Yay!

That was beautiful. Wow.

Huh. I'm not sure
what to do with my life now.

Yeah, that tower
gave us purpose.

Now we have nothing.

Should we... crash it?

- Oh, yeah. Aah!
- Aah!

- Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa!
- Wait. What? No!

Okay, fine.

Why are these things so secure?

I miss real life.
I want to be a real boy!

Nick!

What do you mean you want
to sell me the business?

I work here.
You give me money.

I don't give you money.

Huh.
That's kind of interesting.

Let me see
if I can raise the cash.

Love you, too, Dad.

Damn it! It's no use.
I can't get it off.

Oh, God, I'm so dizzy.

Aah! Why did we come back

to this futuristic nightmare
of a place?

Oh. I'm sorry
I brought you back here, Gene.

It's just... Ugh.

I felt awful that you spent
all the money you saved up

on this horrible place and
I just wanted to make it okay.

I-I... I'm your parent, so,

I-I don't want
disappointing things

to happen to you, ever, I guess.

I think I feel the same way.

And...
Yes, this place is bad.

And spending all your money
on it was not a great decision.

- Ugh.
- This is getting
a little hurtful.

But I can't protect you
from every disappointing thing.

I-I want to, but I-I can't.

And it wouldn't be good
if I could do that anyway.

Maybe it's just better
to kind of accept

that there are gonna be...

disappointments.

And then, you don't have
to be so weighed down,

and you can
just see the good in stuff.

Oh, my God,
what are my arms doing now?

- This place is awful.
- You look like

one of those inflatable
tube dancers,

how you looked when you were
trying to dance at that wedding.

You're wiggling,
too, by the way.

You look like me trying
to dance at that wedding.

Hey, Gene, look at this.
Backwards wiggling.

Is this how disco started?

I-I would almost enjoy this
if I wasn't about to throw up.

I bet you say that
to all the girls.

Hey, sorry. I'm back.
How we doing?

You don't seem great.

Well, Nick,
the game's glitching a lot,

and we're trapped
in the headsets.

Cool. Just wrapped up a
quick chat with my former boss.

Speaking of,
do you guys want to hear

about a fun
investment opportunity?

- No, thank you.
- Oh. Okay.

Uh, want me to get you out
of these headsets?

- Can we stay in a little longer?
- Really?

Yeah. You know,
it just got kind of good.

Our real arms would break
if we danced like this.

Dumb real arms.
Is that okay, Dad?

- Uh, yeah.
- It got good?

I mean, of course it did.

And, you know,
while you're at it,

think about that investment
thing I was talking about.

- You got it, bro.
- Oh.

- May I... have this dance?
- Sure.

- Mm, mm, mm, mm.
- Don't throw up.

- Mm. Mm.
- Don't throw up.

♪ You can climb a mountain ♪

♪ Touch the heavens above ♪

♪ You can have a smoothie ♪

♪ With Questlove ♪

♪ You can dive
to the bottom of the ocean ♪

♪ Ride a dinosaur ♪

♪ Or back to smoothies
with Questlove ♪

♪ You still have a little more ♪

- ♪ In your cup ♪
- ♪ Now you are ♪

♪ One with everything. ♪

Captioning sponsored by
BENTO BOX ENTERTAINMENT

and TOYOTA.