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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:01:01,402 --> 00:01:03,860 ASTERIX & THE MIDDLE KINGDOM 2 00:01:06,318 --> 00:01:08,277 The year is 50 BC. 3 00:01:08,860 --> 00:01:11,193 All of Gaul is under Roman occupation. 4 00:01:11,527 --> 00:01:12,527 All of it? 5 00:01:12,902 --> 00:01:13,902 No! 6 00:01:13,985 --> 00:01:16,360 One village of indomitable Gauls 7 00:01:16,527 --> 00:01:19,610 keeps up the good fight against the invader. 8 00:01:19,777 --> 00:01:23,277 And life is not easy for the Roman legionaries 9 00:01:23,443 --> 00:01:28,610 in their camps at Totorum, Aquarium, Laudanum and Compendium. 10 00:01:31,443 --> 00:01:34,193 What I love in life 11 00:01:34,360 --> 00:01:37,360 Is wandering day and night 12 00:01:37,527 --> 00:01:39,985 In the forest what's really fun 13 00:01:40,152 --> 00:01:43,193 Is going for a wander with my chum 14 00:01:43,360 --> 00:01:44,443 It rhymes. 15 00:01:44,902 --> 00:01:46,860 Obelix, our lifestyle isn't healthy. 16 00:01:47,902 --> 00:01:49,068 Too much meat. 17 00:01:50,318 --> 00:01:51,777 - Too much meat? - Sure. 18 00:01:51,943 --> 00:01:54,068 Wild boar for breakfast, lunch and dinner. 19 00:01:54,235 --> 00:01:55,318 Supper, too! 20 00:01:55,485 --> 00:01:57,068 Not to mention ale. 21 00:01:57,402 --> 00:01:59,152 It can't be good for us. 22 00:01:59,318 --> 00:02:01,068 What else is there to eat? 23 00:02:01,235 --> 00:02:04,860 I don't know. We could try balancing it out with... 24 00:02:05,318 --> 00:02:06,360 vegetables. 25 00:02:08,027 --> 00:02:09,027 Veg... 26 00:02:09,193 --> 00:02:10,360 Vegetables? 27 00:02:15,943 --> 00:02:18,110 You make me laugh, Asterix. 28 00:02:19,110 --> 00:02:20,235 Hear him, Dogmatix? 29 00:02:20,943 --> 00:02:23,693 Imagine chewing a stick of celery, not a bone! 30 00:02:23,860 --> 00:02:24,860 Vegetables! 31 00:02:25,485 --> 00:02:26,568 You can laugh. 32 00:02:27,027 --> 00:02:30,652 I honestly don't see the point of ruining our health. 33 00:02:30,985 --> 00:02:32,652 Same with the magic potion. 34 00:02:33,110 --> 00:02:35,318 Could be, it's bad for our systems. 35 00:02:35,485 --> 00:02:37,652 Where's the data, honestly? Where? 36 00:02:38,110 --> 00:02:40,235 Above all, do we really need it? 37 00:02:42,818 --> 00:02:43,610 You okay? 38 00:02:43,777 --> 00:02:44,860 No, I'm not okay. 39 00:02:45,068 --> 00:02:48,152 I'm just saying, throwing in a mixed salad, mushrooms... 40 00:02:48,318 --> 00:02:51,110 Chestnuts! When they're in season, obviously. 41 00:02:56,860 --> 00:02:59,818 You snagged one already. Leave the poor things alone. 42 00:03:07,735 --> 00:03:09,277 Peek-a-boo, loopy loolas! 43 00:03:12,610 --> 00:03:13,318 Ave! 44 00:03:13,485 --> 00:03:16,443 Sorry, we're lost. Who knew we're so near the village? 45 00:03:16,610 --> 00:03:18,527 Me. I kept telling you. 46 00:03:19,443 --> 00:03:20,485 - Didn't. - Did. 47 00:03:20,652 --> 00:03:22,985 And you said, "To hell with the Gauls! 48 00:03:23,152 --> 00:03:24,527 "They get up my nose. 49 00:03:24,693 --> 00:03:26,818 "They can shove their menhirs." 50 00:03:28,068 --> 00:03:29,318 I'm a terrible liar. 51 00:03:30,818 --> 00:03:32,027 Leave this to me. 52 00:03:32,985 --> 00:03:35,068 I'll show you I don't need this. 53 00:03:37,652 --> 00:03:39,027 Strength is here. 54 00:03:39,485 --> 00:03:40,485 And here. 55 00:03:41,235 --> 00:03:43,818 Take a seat, sit tight and enjoy the show. 56 00:03:47,568 --> 00:03:48,568 Hello. 57 00:03:53,860 --> 00:03:55,902 Stupid helmet! I blame the helmet. 58 00:03:56,068 --> 00:03:57,360 You plan to step in? 59 00:03:57,818 --> 00:03:58,943 No, not allowed. 60 00:04:08,277 --> 00:04:09,277 Help me, silly! 61 00:04:09,402 --> 00:04:10,402 Harder! 62 00:04:28,652 --> 00:04:29,652 Not fair! 63 00:04:31,402 --> 00:04:32,402 Cheat! 64 00:04:32,985 --> 00:04:35,902 Not at all. Without it, same result. 65 00:04:42,693 --> 00:04:43,985 You don't have to. 66 00:04:45,277 --> 00:04:46,277 I do. 67 00:05:27,943 --> 00:05:29,235 Where is everyone? 68 00:05:29,818 --> 00:05:30,985 It's hardly fresh. 69 00:05:31,610 --> 00:05:32,735 - And you are? - What? 70 00:05:32,902 --> 00:05:33,943 No, nothing. 71 00:05:34,277 --> 00:05:37,360 Getafix, he won't let me smoke my boar in the house. 72 00:05:37,527 --> 00:05:40,610 Just because Mr Asterix has decided to quit 73 00:05:40,777 --> 00:05:42,027 doesn't mean I have to. 74 00:05:42,193 --> 00:05:43,318 Panacea! 75 00:05:44,027 --> 00:05:45,027 Panacea! 76 00:05:46,485 --> 00:05:47,568 Morning, girls. 77 00:05:48,152 --> 00:05:49,735 - Coming to the market? - Yes! 78 00:05:52,693 --> 00:05:53,735 Hi, Panacea. 79 00:05:53,902 --> 00:05:54,902 Hi, Obelix. 80 00:05:57,277 --> 00:05:58,735 I just wanted to say... 81 00:06:00,485 --> 00:06:03,485 I carved this menhir thinking of you. It's a gift. 82 00:06:04,193 --> 00:06:06,068 Sweet, but what use is it to me? 83 00:06:10,277 --> 00:06:11,277 See you. 84 00:06:13,777 --> 00:06:14,902 She refused it. 85 00:06:15,818 --> 00:06:16,985 She refused my menhir. 86 00:06:17,152 --> 00:06:19,402 Obviously. It weighs a ton. 87 00:06:19,568 --> 00:06:21,860 What use is it? Put it on her finger? 88 00:06:22,027 --> 00:06:23,027 Getafix, your sickle. 89 00:06:23,193 --> 00:06:24,568 Thanks, Fulliautomatix. 90 00:06:24,735 --> 00:06:25,735 Slow down. 91 00:06:28,485 --> 00:06:29,485 Say... 92 00:06:33,527 --> 00:06:36,235 Asterix has the right to change his diet. 93 00:06:36,527 --> 00:06:37,693 Not everyone else's. 94 00:06:38,652 --> 00:06:39,943 Getafix, what's wrong? 95 00:06:43,652 --> 00:06:44,443 I'm sinking. 96 00:06:44,610 --> 00:06:45,610 You're sinking? 97 00:06:45,735 --> 00:06:47,152 It must be quicksand. 98 00:06:47,318 --> 00:06:49,818 There is no quicksand in the region. 99 00:06:50,527 --> 00:06:52,568 If you ask me, someone needs to know. 100 00:06:53,485 --> 00:06:54,527 Chariot ahoy! 101 00:06:55,235 --> 00:06:56,985 Chariot ahoy! 102 00:07:00,318 --> 00:07:01,318 Excuse me. 103 00:07:02,318 --> 00:07:05,818 Some nights, my voice just wants to scream 104 00:07:06,152 --> 00:07:07,568 Shut it, will you! 105 00:07:13,777 --> 00:07:15,777 For once, I had a customer. 106 00:07:15,943 --> 00:07:17,610 For once, you have fresh fish! 107 00:07:17,777 --> 00:07:19,818 What? My fish isn't fresh? 108 00:07:27,152 --> 00:07:28,193 I'll take a look. 109 00:07:51,277 --> 00:07:54,568 For Louise and Marcel 110 00:07:55,068 --> 00:07:56,068 Hold still. 111 00:07:56,152 --> 00:07:58,735 Bankruptis, already here? It's not autumn. 112 00:07:58,902 --> 00:07:59,902 You were hit? 113 00:07:59,943 --> 00:08:02,860 - Where's your uncle? - Quiet, for goodness' sake! 114 00:08:03,193 --> 00:08:05,068 My friends, how are you? 115 00:08:05,485 --> 00:08:07,943 I come from China to ask for help. 116 00:08:08,652 --> 00:08:09,652 It's nuts! 117 00:08:09,943 --> 00:08:10,985 Why are you blond? 118 00:08:11,152 --> 00:08:12,193 I was going to say. 119 00:08:12,360 --> 00:08:14,735 I'm a Gaul, all right? Always have been. 120 00:08:14,902 --> 00:08:16,402 Please... No slip-ups. 121 00:08:16,568 --> 00:08:18,277 No slip-ups, I'm begging you. 122 00:08:18,443 --> 00:08:19,485 I'll explain. Come on. 123 00:08:30,610 --> 00:08:31,610 That one... 124 00:08:32,068 --> 00:08:33,485 The beautiful girl fast asleep 125 00:08:33,652 --> 00:08:34,860 is a princess. 126 00:08:35,027 --> 00:08:38,110 Named Sa See. Daughter of the Empress of China. 127 00:08:40,527 --> 00:08:42,152 You do know where China is? 128 00:08:44,818 --> 00:08:46,443 - Two princesses! - Actually, no. 129 00:08:46,610 --> 00:08:48,485 That's her bodyguard. Miss Tik. 130 00:08:49,152 --> 00:08:52,277 Believe me, she's insane. Smashed everyone on the way. 131 00:08:52,443 --> 00:08:55,277 She smashed Scythians, smashed Parthians, smashed Huns! 132 00:08:55,985 --> 00:08:57,360 A beautiful woman. 133 00:08:57,610 --> 00:09:00,068 A female bodyguard? Don't make me laugh! 134 00:09:00,235 --> 00:09:01,568 Go ahead, laugh. 135 00:09:01,985 --> 00:09:05,068 Share with us your Alpha male experience. 136 00:09:06,235 --> 00:09:08,277 Alpha male, just try to touch her. 137 00:09:08,735 --> 00:09:10,277 - Be my guest. - All right. 138 00:09:16,360 --> 00:09:17,485 There you go! 139 00:09:42,235 --> 00:09:43,568 You drank potion? 140 00:09:44,193 --> 00:09:45,193 No. 141 00:09:45,902 --> 00:09:46,985 I don't get it. 142 00:09:47,193 --> 00:09:49,110 I get what's going on. 143 00:09:49,860 --> 00:09:52,152 And you'd better stop right now. 144 00:09:52,318 --> 00:09:55,443 Princess and I are more than friends, see? 145 00:09:56,152 --> 00:09:57,277 - You are? - We are. 146 00:09:57,860 --> 00:09:58,860 Princess... 147 00:10:01,860 --> 00:10:03,277 We have arrived. 148 00:10:06,902 --> 00:10:08,068 What is all this? 149 00:10:08,818 --> 00:10:10,860 - It's the chief! - Run! 150 00:10:11,402 --> 00:10:13,985 Vitalstatistix is chief of all us Gauls. 151 00:10:15,902 --> 00:10:17,610 Glad to see you, by Toutatis! 152 00:10:18,402 --> 00:10:21,402 Where's your Uncle Ekonomikrisis? His silk scarves are too small. 153 00:10:21,568 --> 00:10:22,693 Really? 154 00:10:22,860 --> 00:10:25,068 He said they'd loosen up. I look loose? 155 00:10:25,235 --> 00:10:26,402 - No. - He's a crook! 156 00:10:27,568 --> 00:10:29,402 He sent me. Let me explain. 157 00:10:29,902 --> 00:10:32,360 Allow me to introduce Princess Sa See, 158 00:10:32,527 --> 00:10:34,985 daughter of the Empress of China. 159 00:10:37,110 --> 00:10:38,443 Who's she? 160 00:10:38,652 --> 00:10:40,318 - Thanks, Bankruptis. - You're welcome. 161 00:10:40,693 --> 00:10:44,443 Great Chief Vitalstatistix, let me explain the reasons for my visit. 162 00:10:44,777 --> 00:10:46,360 Getafix, is China far? 163 00:10:46,652 --> 00:10:49,402 Yes, it's where the sun rises. That way. 164 00:10:55,652 --> 00:10:58,818 Since the Princess's story could be very, very long, 165 00:10:58,985 --> 00:11:00,652 and not devoid of emotion, 166 00:11:00,818 --> 00:11:03,818 allow me to give you a potted version. 167 00:11:03,985 --> 00:11:06,610 The Princess lives with her mother, the Empress, 168 00:11:06,777 --> 00:11:09,943 who reigns with difficulty, since her husband's death, 169 00:11:10,110 --> 00:11:11,693 over her nation's six kingdoms. 170 00:11:11,860 --> 00:11:16,568 Beloved by her people, the Empress is confronted by ambitious princes, 171 00:11:16,735 --> 00:11:18,902 who secretly covet her throne. 172 00:11:20,110 --> 00:11:23,652 The trouble began on the birthday of Princess Sa See, 173 00:11:23,818 --> 00:11:25,568 whom you met in the village. 174 00:11:25,735 --> 00:11:27,277 So this is a flashback. 175 00:11:31,985 --> 00:11:33,235 Another vase? 176 00:11:35,152 --> 00:11:38,152 Each year, same deal. Who's interested in Chinese vases? 177 00:11:38,318 --> 00:11:42,277 I'm 20 today, and never left this palace. Just gardens and guards! 178 00:11:42,443 --> 00:11:44,443 Sa See, for your security, you know... 179 00:11:44,610 --> 00:11:48,985 Father promised to take me to Lutetia. Its shops, its taverns... 180 00:11:49,152 --> 00:11:50,568 I want to see Gaul. 181 00:11:51,068 --> 00:11:54,402 We discussed this. It's dangerous to travel so far. 182 00:11:54,568 --> 00:11:55,693 The answer is no. 183 00:11:57,110 --> 00:11:58,610 Here, open this one. 184 00:12:00,402 --> 00:12:03,527 It's a coin with your head on it. Newly minted. 185 00:12:04,193 --> 00:12:05,610 To buy a dress in Lutetia? 186 00:12:06,693 --> 00:12:07,693 Sa See! 187 00:12:14,818 --> 00:12:16,277 Prince Deng Tsin Quin... 188 00:12:19,527 --> 00:12:22,360 I hear you raised taxes again in your kingdom, 189 00:12:22,527 --> 00:12:24,235 while your people endures famine. 190 00:12:24,402 --> 00:12:25,985 If I may, Your Majesty, 191 00:12:26,152 --> 00:12:30,027 Julius Caesar levied taxes across the Roman world, and it works! 192 00:12:30,193 --> 00:12:32,693 No pain, no pleasure, as they say back home. 193 00:12:33,068 --> 00:12:34,068 Who is he? 194 00:12:34,193 --> 00:12:36,943 Pu Nee, my new strategic advisor. 195 00:12:37,110 --> 00:12:40,027 In Rome, he wielded power and influence. 196 00:12:40,610 --> 00:12:43,985 Put the Chinese people before bad Roman advice. 197 00:12:44,568 --> 00:12:46,943 Naturally, Your Imperial Majesty. 198 00:12:47,943 --> 00:12:48,985 Before I leave, 199 00:12:49,152 --> 00:12:51,777 have you considered my marriage proposal? 200 00:12:52,068 --> 00:12:53,485 I spoke with Princess Sa See. 201 00:12:53,652 --> 00:12:54,652 And? 202 00:12:55,360 --> 00:12:56,568 It made us laugh. 203 00:12:59,610 --> 00:13:01,235 Make a woman laugh and... 204 00:13:03,318 --> 00:13:04,318 Sorry. 205 00:13:04,735 --> 00:13:07,485 If it made Your Majesty and her daughter laugh, 206 00:13:07,652 --> 00:13:08,943 then so be it. 207 00:13:15,193 --> 00:13:16,193 Miss Tik... 208 00:13:19,527 --> 00:13:20,985 My faithful warrior, 209 00:13:21,527 --> 00:13:22,818 fetch my daughter. 210 00:13:46,485 --> 00:13:47,943 This is China. 211 00:13:48,527 --> 00:13:51,652 The Chinese love all things Gaul, so we're Gauls. Simple. 212 00:13:51,818 --> 00:13:54,193 For a Phoenecian, it's humiliating, Ekonomikrisis. 213 00:13:55,485 --> 00:13:56,568 Ekonomikrisix! 214 00:13:56,735 --> 00:13:58,693 Get it into your head! 215 00:13:58,860 --> 00:14:01,277 You guys are Premix and Overmix. 216 00:14:01,693 --> 00:14:02,943 We are Gauls. 217 00:14:03,110 --> 00:14:04,110 Gotix? 218 00:14:04,152 --> 00:14:06,360 As usual, we make all the efforts. 219 00:14:06,652 --> 00:14:07,652 Only you? 220 00:14:10,777 --> 00:14:11,360 Laugh? 221 00:14:11,527 --> 00:14:12,318 You're laughing? 222 00:14:12,485 --> 00:14:14,652 Am I laughing about going blond? 223 00:14:15,360 --> 00:14:17,818 Grab those papyri and hit the streets. Move! 224 00:14:17,985 --> 00:14:19,943 Go, yalla! I mean, let's go. 225 00:14:20,110 --> 00:14:21,943 Put those helmets on! There! 226 00:14:22,443 --> 00:14:23,527 Let's go! 227 00:14:23,693 --> 00:14:24,943 China is ours! 228 00:14:26,610 --> 00:14:27,652 No snooping. 229 00:14:28,277 --> 00:14:29,652 You need help? 230 00:14:29,818 --> 00:14:31,235 Touch it, buy it. Golden rule. 231 00:14:32,152 --> 00:14:33,443 They're genuine Louboutix? 232 00:14:33,902 --> 00:14:35,110 "They're genuine Louboutix?" 233 00:14:35,277 --> 00:14:37,818 Of course they are. Look at the sole! 234 00:14:37,985 --> 00:14:41,735 As red as the price tag. If you can't afford them, try Diskountos. 235 00:14:43,527 --> 00:14:45,985 Give my stall some space. Scram! 236 00:14:47,443 --> 00:14:48,568 You nincompoop! 237 00:14:49,443 --> 00:14:50,818 Sorry, Her Majesty. 238 00:14:50,985 --> 00:14:52,443 Sorry for my nephew. 239 00:14:52,610 --> 00:14:55,152 He has his mother's temper. 240 00:14:55,318 --> 00:14:56,777 True, everybody says so. 241 00:14:57,068 --> 00:14:59,610 Of course, for you, sandals are on the house. 242 00:14:59,777 --> 00:15:01,860 I'll take them out of his wages. 243 00:15:02,027 --> 00:15:04,027 - That hurt. - Yup. Your fault. 244 00:15:04,193 --> 00:15:06,193 Ekonomikrisix, at your service. 245 00:15:06,860 --> 00:15:08,568 No one shakes hands here. 246 00:15:08,735 --> 00:15:10,277 - No one. - Not one. 247 00:15:10,443 --> 00:15:13,277 A most regrettable mistake, Princess. 248 00:15:14,068 --> 00:15:15,068 Gorgeous. 249 00:15:17,485 --> 00:15:19,027 Bankruptix, the nephew. 250 00:15:19,568 --> 00:15:21,277 I have my mother's temper. 251 00:15:21,443 --> 00:15:22,443 As well as... 252 00:15:23,193 --> 00:15:24,193 her eyes. 253 00:15:27,110 --> 00:15:28,652 I envy you your blond hair. 254 00:15:29,360 --> 00:15:32,527 I had no choice, Princess. I was born this way. 255 00:15:32,693 --> 00:15:34,318 Nature decided for me. 256 00:15:34,693 --> 00:15:36,235 Your Imperial Majesty, 257 00:15:36,735 --> 00:15:41,652 if you'd care to forgive us and taste our famous nectar from Gaul, 258 00:15:41,818 --> 00:15:42,985 the honour's all ours. 259 00:15:44,152 --> 00:15:45,152 Come in. 260 00:15:46,277 --> 00:15:47,318 A great vintage. 261 00:15:47,485 --> 00:15:50,527 To celebrate the great and majestic empress. 262 00:15:51,985 --> 00:15:53,693 On the nose, fruity notes. 263 00:15:54,235 --> 00:15:55,318 There's sunshine. 264 00:15:56,277 --> 00:15:57,693 There's pine and shade. 265 00:15:57,860 --> 00:15:59,860 I'm getting hints of chestnut. 266 00:16:00,027 --> 00:16:01,110 Bananas. 267 00:16:01,527 --> 00:16:02,527 And dates. 268 00:16:02,902 --> 00:16:05,902 Overall, more fruit salad than wine. 269 00:16:10,277 --> 00:16:11,568 I want Gaul of it 270 00:16:21,152 --> 00:16:22,152 I'll take the lot. 271 00:16:25,652 --> 00:16:26,777 Perfumes from Gaul? 272 00:16:26,943 --> 00:16:28,735 But of course, Princess. 273 00:16:28,902 --> 00:16:30,693 All our perfumes come from Gaul. 274 00:16:30,860 --> 00:16:32,443 Like me and my sales team. 275 00:16:33,693 --> 00:16:35,360 This is the latest creation 276 00:16:35,527 --> 00:16:37,443 that every Gaul lady would die for. 277 00:16:37,610 --> 00:16:38,610 Amphor. 278 00:16:38,693 --> 00:16:39,693 Amphor? 279 00:16:40,360 --> 00:16:41,402 I adore! 280 00:16:41,568 --> 00:16:42,735 I adore, too. 281 00:16:42,902 --> 00:16:44,110 Archers! Loose! 282 00:16:44,277 --> 00:16:45,277 Watch out! 283 00:16:53,193 --> 00:16:54,568 Sa See, are you hurt? 284 00:16:54,735 --> 00:16:55,985 No, mother, I'm fine. 285 00:16:56,152 --> 00:16:57,152 Anything broken? 286 00:16:57,193 --> 00:16:58,693 No, I'm fine. 287 00:16:58,860 --> 00:17:00,068 I meant the stock. 288 00:17:00,443 --> 00:17:01,152 Nice. 289 00:17:01,318 --> 00:17:02,568 Hey, Empress! 290 00:17:02,735 --> 00:17:03,902 Come out, hands up! 291 00:17:04,235 --> 00:17:06,152 And no one will get hurt. 292 00:17:06,693 --> 00:17:07,735 You're encircled. 293 00:17:07,902 --> 00:17:09,110 And slanted! 294 00:17:11,360 --> 00:17:14,068 You said "encircled", like eyes with makeup. 295 00:17:14,235 --> 00:17:15,610 And I added "And..." 296 00:17:19,943 --> 00:17:21,027 There's another exit? 297 00:17:21,193 --> 00:17:22,693 Yes. My secret passage. 298 00:17:22,860 --> 00:17:24,610 In case customs raid... 299 00:17:24,777 --> 00:17:26,402 I mean, in case of fire. 300 00:17:26,860 --> 00:17:28,110 It's the fire escape. 301 00:17:29,027 --> 00:17:31,193 Miss Tik, take my daughter and go. 302 00:17:31,360 --> 00:17:33,027 No, mother. Flee with us. 303 00:17:33,193 --> 00:17:35,152 The Empress of China does not flee. Go! 304 00:17:35,318 --> 00:17:36,860 The traitor wants you. 305 00:17:37,318 --> 00:17:38,318 Let's go. 306 00:17:39,777 --> 00:17:41,235 - Bye, Princess. - Stop it! 307 00:17:41,402 --> 00:17:44,443 I'll stay. A good merchant never abandons his merchandise. 308 00:17:44,610 --> 00:17:45,943 Like a ship's captain. 309 00:17:47,985 --> 00:17:49,277 Go home and fetch the others. 310 00:17:49,443 --> 00:17:50,652 What? Uncle Mahmood? 311 00:17:50,818 --> 00:17:52,485 No! Our other home. 312 00:17:52,652 --> 00:17:53,818 - That home? - That home! 313 00:17:53,985 --> 00:17:54,985 It's miles away! 314 00:17:55,068 --> 00:17:56,068 So get going! 315 00:17:57,235 --> 00:17:58,235 No, wait! 316 00:17:58,818 --> 00:18:00,443 Take good care of the princess. 317 00:18:00,610 --> 00:18:02,027 We are not losing this sale. 318 00:18:02,193 --> 00:18:05,568 Just imagine. You're saving the Princess of China. 319 00:18:13,152 --> 00:18:14,485 I'll work it out later. 320 00:18:14,652 --> 00:18:15,735 Take care, unc! 321 00:18:20,777 --> 00:18:22,818 I trained in Phoenician boxing. 322 00:18:22,985 --> 00:18:23,985 Leave this to me. 323 00:18:24,943 --> 00:18:27,193 So you guys are harassing the ladies? 324 00:18:32,710 --> 00:18:34,585 I went in there and... 325 00:18:35,752 --> 00:18:36,835 What happened? 326 00:18:37,002 --> 00:18:38,710 You got kicked in the head. 327 00:18:39,377 --> 00:18:41,085 All right, I get it now. 328 00:18:41,252 --> 00:18:43,168 So who's laughing now, Empress? 329 00:18:43,335 --> 00:18:45,377 Excuse me a second, who are you? 330 00:18:45,543 --> 00:18:48,710 I don't get any of this. I'm confused, totally lost. 331 00:18:49,793 --> 00:18:51,710 - Well? - The Princess has vanished. 332 00:18:51,877 --> 00:18:54,335 If she's hiding, she's a smart cookie! 333 00:18:54,793 --> 00:18:56,710 A shifty little fish! 334 00:18:57,918 --> 00:18:58,918 Scour the kingdom! 335 00:18:59,043 --> 00:19:00,418 Offer a handsome reward! 336 00:19:00,585 --> 00:19:03,710 I want her alive at our magnificent forced marriage! 337 00:19:06,293 --> 00:19:07,710 I know my daughter. 338 00:19:08,043 --> 00:19:09,418 She'll come for revenge. 339 00:19:09,585 --> 00:19:12,627 Scary! A spoilt little girl who never left home. 340 00:19:12,793 --> 00:19:14,835 - That's my wife you're talking about. - Sorry. 341 00:19:15,002 --> 00:19:18,835 I'm sorry too. I'm so confused, totally lost! 342 00:19:19,002 --> 00:19:20,835 I'll have you beheaded, Empress. 343 00:19:21,002 --> 00:19:23,835 No, there'll be no beheading. It's rude, sir. 344 00:19:24,002 --> 00:19:26,627 Yes, Deng Tsin Quin, you can't kill the Empress. 345 00:19:27,085 --> 00:19:28,085 What? 346 00:19:28,168 --> 00:19:31,210 It's tricky. The other 4 kingdoms' princes hate you. 347 00:19:31,377 --> 00:19:33,752 They claim you're not Emperor material. 348 00:19:33,918 --> 00:19:37,002 They say you are "physically unbecoming with a tiny..." 349 00:19:37,168 --> 00:19:38,960 - Nonsense. - No, army! 350 00:19:39,252 --> 00:19:41,585 A tiny army. The tiniest of all of them. 351 00:19:41,752 --> 00:19:43,502 In combat, it's hopeless. 352 00:19:43,668 --> 00:19:46,252 Your impudence suggests you have a plan. 353 00:19:46,585 --> 00:19:47,585 Naturally. 354 00:19:48,210 --> 00:19:49,210 My idea... 355 00:19:51,752 --> 00:19:53,460 Take them away! Let's go! 356 00:19:53,627 --> 00:19:54,710 Take it easy! 357 00:19:54,877 --> 00:19:57,543 Easy! Mind the Empress and my wares. 358 00:19:57,918 --> 00:19:59,252 China is ours! 359 00:20:31,502 --> 00:20:33,002 Princess, it'll be fine. 360 00:20:33,168 --> 00:20:34,168 I'm here for you. 361 00:20:35,085 --> 00:20:36,085 I'm here. 362 00:20:38,460 --> 00:20:39,918 Don't worry. We'll help you. 363 00:20:40,377 --> 00:20:43,627 Everyone knows that we Gauls just love to help. 364 00:20:43,793 --> 00:20:44,793 No! 365 00:20:47,127 --> 00:20:48,168 Not a chance. 366 00:20:48,752 --> 00:20:50,960 Was it just me or did her story drag on? 367 00:20:52,418 --> 00:20:56,418 By Benelos, how come folks always come asking us for help? 368 00:20:57,127 --> 00:20:58,418 Vitalstatistix, 369 00:20:58,585 --> 00:20:59,793 it's a tradition 370 00:20:59,960 --> 00:21:01,960 for us to help those in need. 371 00:21:02,543 --> 00:21:04,585 Not forgetting Bankrup... 372 00:21:05,377 --> 00:21:06,377 Tis. 373 00:21:06,585 --> 00:21:07,585 Bankruptix. 374 00:21:08,168 --> 00:21:09,543 The answer's no. There! 375 00:21:09,710 --> 00:21:11,043 It's often been yes. 376 00:21:11,252 --> 00:21:12,252 But it's no. 377 00:21:12,710 --> 00:21:14,085 I'm not feeling it. 378 00:21:14,252 --> 00:21:15,585 China's unknown to us. 379 00:21:15,752 --> 00:21:17,335 We don't know where it is. 380 00:21:17,502 --> 00:21:18,293 Sure we do. 381 00:21:18,460 --> 00:21:19,460 Even I know. 382 00:21:19,960 --> 00:21:22,543 It's the way where the sun rises. 383 00:21:23,335 --> 00:21:24,627 Stumped him. 384 00:21:25,127 --> 00:21:26,752 I don't know and I decide. 385 00:21:26,918 --> 00:21:28,793 Great Chief, I respect your decision. 386 00:21:28,960 --> 00:21:31,335 I depart to save my mother and country. 387 00:21:31,752 --> 00:21:32,752 Princess! 388 00:21:35,418 --> 00:21:36,627 I'm up for it. 389 00:21:37,168 --> 00:21:39,877 And anyway, I'm free right now. 390 00:21:41,085 --> 00:21:42,377 I'm free too. 391 00:21:42,835 --> 00:21:44,127 I want to go too. 392 00:21:44,293 --> 00:21:46,293 You two! Who's in the chair? 393 00:21:47,668 --> 00:21:49,335 You're chief now? 394 00:21:49,627 --> 00:21:51,418 Discussion over. It's no. 395 00:21:51,585 --> 00:21:53,460 Are you out of your mind? 396 00:21:54,335 --> 00:21:55,877 Some village chief! 397 00:21:56,252 --> 00:21:58,085 Ignoring a damsel's tears. 398 00:21:58,377 --> 00:22:00,085 - Mimenta... - Don't Mimenta me! 399 00:22:00,460 --> 00:22:02,960 - Welcome our Chinese friends! - Yup. 400 00:22:03,377 --> 00:22:04,585 You and your Gaul! 401 00:22:05,210 --> 00:22:06,835 All because it's too far? 402 00:22:07,002 --> 00:22:08,710 As if you'd be going! 403 00:22:10,168 --> 00:22:12,502 No, it's Asterix and Obelix, as usual. 404 00:22:14,168 --> 00:22:16,418 If some idiot writes our history one day, 405 00:22:16,585 --> 00:22:19,877 the title will never be The Adventures of Vitalstatistix the Gaul. 406 00:22:20,043 --> 00:22:21,668 Dogmatix travels more than you. 407 00:22:22,543 --> 00:22:23,627 Hear that, Dogmatix? 408 00:22:26,460 --> 00:22:27,585 Stones fired! 409 00:22:27,752 --> 00:22:31,002 Magic potion for the boys in the village, you're in. 410 00:22:31,168 --> 00:22:33,502 But anything more delicate, you're out? 411 00:22:42,752 --> 00:22:43,752 All right, go. 412 00:22:46,835 --> 00:22:48,543 Thank you. Heartfelt thanks. 413 00:22:49,377 --> 00:22:52,835 So you're starting on a journey 414 00:22:53,710 --> 00:22:55,918 So we're parting tonight 415 00:22:57,710 --> 00:22:59,252 My heart has turned to... 416 00:22:59,710 --> 00:23:00,710 jelly 417 00:23:08,960 --> 00:23:12,835 Meanwhile, in the eternal, beautifully irrigated city of Rome, 418 00:23:13,002 --> 00:23:15,960 Julius Caesar, in his magnificent palace, 419 00:23:16,127 --> 00:23:19,418 lives in domestic bliss with the powerful Queen of Egypt, 420 00:23:19,585 --> 00:23:22,043 sublime, dulcet Cleopatra. 421 00:23:22,210 --> 00:23:23,710 I've had it up to here! 422 00:23:23,877 --> 00:23:26,627 Know what? I've had it up to here! 423 00:23:31,960 --> 00:23:33,377 May I ask what you're doing? 424 00:23:33,543 --> 00:23:35,877 Packing my trunks and heading home. 425 00:23:36,043 --> 00:23:38,043 Why didn't I listen to Mummy? 426 00:23:39,168 --> 00:23:41,960 Now it's over, I can tell you. There's another man. 427 00:23:42,377 --> 00:23:43,418 What do you mean? 428 00:23:45,127 --> 00:23:46,543 You can't be serious. 429 00:23:47,877 --> 00:23:49,960 What do you mean, another man? 430 00:23:50,627 --> 00:23:53,293 What is this? Infidelitatis? 431 00:23:53,460 --> 00:23:54,460 Nailed it. 432 00:23:56,418 --> 00:23:57,418 And... 433 00:23:58,877 --> 00:24:01,710 May I ask for whom you leave mighty Caesar? 434 00:24:03,168 --> 00:24:04,293 Tabascos! 435 00:24:05,793 --> 00:24:06,460 Tabascos? 436 00:24:06,627 --> 00:24:07,627 The Greek? 437 00:24:11,293 --> 00:24:13,168 Tabascos the Greek! 438 00:24:13,627 --> 00:24:16,252 So you'd leave mighty Caesar 439 00:24:17,877 --> 00:24:19,793 to shack up with a gym teacher? 440 00:24:21,460 --> 00:24:24,252 Well, we'll discuss this after the lions. 441 00:24:25,252 --> 00:24:27,210 I forbid you to harm him. 442 00:24:28,252 --> 00:24:29,793 I love him, you hear? 443 00:24:30,585 --> 00:24:31,585 You love him? 444 00:24:33,002 --> 00:24:34,127 You love him? 445 00:24:35,752 --> 00:24:37,377 What's he got that I don't? 446 00:24:37,627 --> 00:24:39,252 He's an international gymnast. 447 00:24:39,418 --> 00:24:41,877 Outside Rome and Gaul, you're a complete unknown. 448 00:24:44,043 --> 00:24:46,127 A complete unknown? Julius Caesar? 449 00:24:46,793 --> 00:24:50,502 Fine. You have international ambitions? Go with your athlete. 450 00:24:50,835 --> 00:24:53,168 Let the Greek tsat your ziki! 451 00:24:54,918 --> 00:24:56,668 May I, O Caesar? 452 00:24:56,835 --> 00:24:59,502 Minor marital contretemps. All settled. 453 00:25:00,335 --> 00:25:04,252 Speak, Slius Foxxus, devious and unsightly advisor of mine. 454 00:25:04,418 --> 00:25:05,168 Ave, Caesar! 455 00:25:05,335 --> 00:25:08,085 Your perspicacity captures me perfectly. 456 00:25:16,335 --> 00:25:18,085 May I introduce Pu Nee, 457 00:25:18,252 --> 00:25:22,585 envoy of Prince Deng Tsin Quin, the new master of China. 458 00:25:22,752 --> 00:25:26,210 How does an empire so big have an advisor so small? 459 00:25:27,002 --> 00:25:29,543 Size doesn't matter, skill does, Caesar. 460 00:25:29,710 --> 00:25:31,335 Some men have neither. 461 00:25:34,793 --> 00:25:35,918 She's a looker. 462 00:25:36,293 --> 00:25:37,377 Well, half-pint? 463 00:25:37,752 --> 00:25:41,085 I come to offer you the riches of my adopted land 464 00:25:41,252 --> 00:25:43,627 in return for modest military support. 465 00:25:44,002 --> 00:25:47,252 Your land? Even great Alexander abandoned the conquest of China. 466 00:25:47,418 --> 00:25:51,835 A great opportunity to expand my empire. Your empire, O Caesar! 467 00:25:52,002 --> 00:25:53,502 I have conquered enough. 468 00:25:53,668 --> 00:25:56,918 My name will go down in the annals of history. 469 00:25:57,085 --> 00:25:59,585 I love when you say that. Love it! 470 00:25:59,752 --> 00:26:01,960 What a way with words. Right? 471 00:26:02,293 --> 00:26:04,543 Biopix, my Gallician biographer. 472 00:26:04,918 --> 00:26:08,210 How inspiring is the fabulous tale of almighty Caesar! 473 00:26:08,377 --> 00:26:09,668 Vade retro, both of you. 474 00:26:09,835 --> 00:26:11,335 Caesar, may I point out, 475 00:26:11,502 --> 00:26:13,460 in terms of going down in history, 476 00:26:13,627 --> 00:26:15,710 in China, you are unknown. 477 00:26:16,127 --> 00:26:17,335 What was I saying? 478 00:26:19,002 --> 00:26:20,543 That's quite enough! 479 00:26:22,043 --> 00:26:24,460 I, Julius Caesar, man of a thousand conquests? 480 00:26:24,627 --> 00:26:25,835 Unknown? 481 00:26:26,210 --> 00:26:27,210 Alas! 482 00:26:38,793 --> 00:26:40,252 He speaks the truth. 483 00:26:40,418 --> 00:26:41,543 In China, at least. 484 00:26:41,960 --> 00:26:44,085 It's all good, don't worry. 485 00:26:44,793 --> 00:26:48,043 Pu Nee, step forward to discuss our alliance 486 00:26:48,543 --> 00:26:49,543 with your land 487 00:26:49,710 --> 00:26:51,877 that will soon know my name! 488 00:26:54,252 --> 00:26:57,668 Explain clearly. Be sure not to toss Caesar a salad. 489 00:27:02,043 --> 00:27:04,460 I swapped your clunker for something tougher. 490 00:27:04,627 --> 00:27:07,793 That's what I call a chariot. Unbeatable! On loan from cousin Turbo. 491 00:27:08,293 --> 00:27:09,752 I added boar stomachs. 492 00:27:10,960 --> 00:27:13,335 A kind of air cushion to absorb shocks. 493 00:27:14,543 --> 00:27:15,627 The sunroof! 494 00:27:16,960 --> 00:27:18,043 You know what? 495 00:27:18,210 --> 00:27:19,710 I made a perfect chariot. 496 00:27:20,085 --> 00:27:21,085 Magnificent. 497 00:27:25,460 --> 00:27:26,460 Let's go! 498 00:27:27,960 --> 00:27:30,002 Princess, if you'd care to board. 499 00:27:34,293 --> 00:27:35,293 Too bad. 500 00:27:36,960 --> 00:27:38,293 We'll have a great trip. 501 00:27:40,210 --> 00:27:43,502 Asterix, I made you a flask of magic potion, 502 00:27:43,668 --> 00:27:46,877 but Obelix tells me you don't need it, so I... 503 00:27:47,293 --> 00:27:48,752 No, that's fine. 504 00:27:51,668 --> 00:27:52,793 But just in case. 505 00:27:54,460 --> 00:27:55,710 I'm cutting down. 506 00:27:55,877 --> 00:27:58,168 Watch out, I beefed it up. 507 00:28:04,335 --> 00:28:05,377 You had some? 508 00:28:06,668 --> 00:28:08,293 No, just a quick taste. 509 00:28:08,627 --> 00:28:09,668 Just to see. 510 00:28:12,418 --> 00:28:13,668 Good luck, Princess. 511 00:28:14,418 --> 00:28:15,460 As for you two, 512 00:28:15,835 --> 00:28:17,668 be brave, reckless 513 00:28:17,835 --> 00:28:20,252 and disingenuous. In a word... 514 00:28:20,752 --> 00:28:21,752 Be Gauls! 515 00:28:23,877 --> 00:28:25,002 Hold on tight. 516 00:28:25,377 --> 00:28:28,210 It'll be much faster than on the way here. 517 00:28:30,960 --> 00:28:33,293 Sorry but can I just point out, 518 00:28:34,002 --> 00:28:37,877 the bard's role is to celebrate heroes and their exploits? 519 00:28:39,418 --> 00:28:41,585 If I never travel, what am I? 520 00:28:43,127 --> 00:28:44,127 Excellent idea. 521 00:28:44,960 --> 00:28:46,460 Cacophonix will go with... 522 00:28:51,543 --> 00:28:53,085 They forgot me. 523 00:28:53,918 --> 00:28:56,835 They forgot me! 524 00:29:02,460 --> 00:29:05,710 And so, at high speed, our friends head south, 525 00:29:05,877 --> 00:29:09,293 favouring the maritime route that, according to Getafix, 526 00:29:09,460 --> 00:29:11,377 is faster than the Silk Road. 527 00:29:12,252 --> 00:29:14,752 Having rowed across the Mediterranean, 528 00:29:14,918 --> 00:29:16,127 thanks to Obelix, 529 00:29:16,293 --> 00:29:18,377 they reach northern Africa. 530 00:29:25,043 --> 00:29:26,460 Rub and wring. 531 00:29:26,960 --> 00:29:28,918 Miss Tik, I asked to learn kung fu. 532 00:29:31,835 --> 00:29:32,960 Rub... 533 00:29:34,002 --> 00:29:35,168 and wring. 534 00:29:42,127 --> 00:29:43,335 No, not again. 535 00:29:44,918 --> 00:29:46,752 All good? Enjoying the show? 536 00:29:46,918 --> 00:29:49,627 Want a beer? A chair? Coming right up. 537 00:29:50,752 --> 00:29:53,293 Not coming up! What are you doing? 538 00:29:53,460 --> 00:29:54,460 Same as you. 539 00:29:54,918 --> 00:29:56,252 She knows you peep? 540 00:29:56,418 --> 00:29:57,710 I might tell her. 541 00:30:01,460 --> 00:30:02,460 Sublime! 542 00:30:03,168 --> 00:30:04,918 She's learning to do laundry 543 00:30:05,085 --> 00:30:08,502 to prepare for her new, tougher life in Gaul with me. 544 00:30:09,502 --> 00:30:12,210 A Chinese princess in Gaul? With those hicks? 545 00:30:12,377 --> 00:30:13,627 Don't make me laugh. 546 00:30:13,835 --> 00:30:16,835 When I say Sa See and I are together, you turn deaf? 547 00:30:17,002 --> 00:30:20,168 - You're not together. - We are together. Six months now. 548 00:30:20,335 --> 00:30:21,335 Really? 549 00:30:21,960 --> 00:30:23,085 No way! 550 00:30:23,293 --> 00:30:25,043 My friends, once and for all, 551 00:30:25,210 --> 00:30:28,168 Sa See and I are serious. It's love. And marriage. 552 00:30:29,418 --> 00:30:31,418 - Congrats, Bankruptis. - Thank you. 553 00:30:31,585 --> 00:30:33,252 I love weddings. Love them. 554 00:30:33,418 --> 00:30:35,168 - With a banquet? - Of course. 555 00:30:35,335 --> 00:30:37,502 Know what? You'll be my best man. 556 00:30:38,335 --> 00:30:40,627 Thank you. I was never anyone's best man. 557 00:30:41,085 --> 00:30:43,585 Can you stop being so gullible? 558 00:30:43,752 --> 00:30:44,918 It gets annoying. 559 00:30:45,210 --> 00:30:47,543 - If they're in love, don't blame me. - Yup. 560 00:30:47,710 --> 00:30:49,043 They're not in love. 561 00:30:49,210 --> 00:30:51,627 If Sa See isn't with anyone, she's with no one. 562 00:30:51,960 --> 00:30:52,960 It's on. 563 00:30:53,002 --> 00:30:56,127 I can't wait to see her face when I tell her... 564 00:30:56,877 --> 00:30:59,043 You're a phony Gaul and fake blonde. 565 00:30:59,210 --> 00:31:03,460 Yeah? Well, I can't wait to see her face when I tell her your moustache... 566 00:31:03,627 --> 00:31:04,960 What about it? 567 00:31:05,127 --> 00:31:06,252 Your moustache... 568 00:31:07,418 --> 00:31:08,418 sucks. 569 00:31:11,710 --> 00:31:12,710 So lame. 570 00:31:15,460 --> 00:31:16,460 I went too far. 571 00:31:16,502 --> 00:31:17,585 Not the moustache! 572 00:31:17,752 --> 00:31:19,127 I know but he pushes me. 573 00:31:19,293 --> 00:31:21,085 Sure but not the moustache! 574 00:31:22,085 --> 00:31:23,085 What's he doing? 575 00:31:23,627 --> 00:31:25,960 Unbelievable! He's snitching on us! 576 00:31:26,335 --> 00:31:28,085 He's something else, your friend! 577 00:31:28,252 --> 00:31:29,418 She's coming our way. 578 00:31:31,918 --> 00:31:32,918 What's up? 579 00:31:33,085 --> 00:31:36,127 Nothing. We're just looking for a date. 580 00:31:37,252 --> 00:31:38,335 For the wedding. 581 00:31:38,502 --> 00:31:40,127 No, to eat. The fruit! 582 00:31:40,293 --> 00:31:41,293 At the wedding. 583 00:31:41,377 --> 00:31:42,585 No, to eat here. 584 00:31:42,752 --> 00:31:43,960 I'm the best man! 585 00:31:44,293 --> 00:31:46,877 He's impossible. He talks nonsense. 586 00:31:48,335 --> 00:31:49,418 Yes, let's go. 587 00:31:51,460 --> 00:31:53,752 Is it so hard to let me do the talking? 588 00:32:00,085 --> 00:32:01,252 'Night, Smartypants! 589 00:32:02,835 --> 00:32:04,377 'Night, Two-Faced Friend! 590 00:32:06,002 --> 00:32:07,168 'Night, Veggie Lover! 591 00:32:07,627 --> 00:32:10,418 Veggies are yummy. So yummy! 592 00:32:10,585 --> 00:32:12,127 'Night, Fake Blonde! 593 00:32:12,710 --> 00:32:14,627 Can't you just say goodnight? 594 00:32:15,752 --> 00:32:16,752 It was him. 595 00:32:16,877 --> 00:32:18,043 'Night, Miss Tik. 596 00:32:24,377 --> 00:32:26,418 You think Mother's still alive? 597 00:32:26,877 --> 00:32:29,918 The Empress is the daughter of the heavens. 598 00:32:30,418 --> 00:32:32,002 No harm can come to her. 599 00:32:35,460 --> 00:32:37,793 'Night, I'm In Love and can't admit it! 600 00:32:38,127 --> 00:32:41,585 'Night, Poppycock who's so fat that he's all belly! 601 00:32:41,752 --> 00:32:45,418 'Night, Lonesome Gaul, so alone like a tiny insect! 602 00:32:45,960 --> 00:32:46,668 Enough! 603 00:32:46,835 --> 00:32:47,543 Yes. 604 00:32:47,710 --> 00:32:48,710 Sorry. 605 00:33:08,877 --> 00:33:11,043 Hello, how are you? 606 00:33:11,502 --> 00:33:12,793 Good trip? 607 00:33:28,668 --> 00:33:31,668 Your daughter's vanished. We looked too long in a land too big. 608 00:33:31,835 --> 00:33:34,293 Hello perhaps? There's two of us. 609 00:33:34,918 --> 00:33:37,752 When military support arrives, off with your head. 610 00:33:37,918 --> 00:33:42,168 I remember now. You're the guy who loves beheading folks. 611 00:33:42,335 --> 00:33:43,335 You too, merchant. 612 00:33:43,877 --> 00:33:46,543 No, leave me out of this. We really need to... 613 00:33:46,710 --> 00:33:48,002 Balls for you! 614 00:33:53,002 --> 00:33:54,002 Day one. 615 00:33:54,627 --> 00:33:57,752 When no balls are left, if the princess won't show, 616 00:33:59,377 --> 00:34:00,377 you two... 617 00:34:03,210 --> 00:34:04,252 We have two lives. 618 00:34:04,418 --> 00:34:07,377 The second begins when we see we have only one. 619 00:34:09,035 --> 00:34:10,035 I thank you. 620 00:34:13,785 --> 00:34:15,660 That's what I call an Empress. 621 00:34:16,285 --> 00:34:17,118 Love it. 622 00:34:17,285 --> 00:34:19,827 We have two lives and it ends when... 623 00:34:19,993 --> 00:34:22,160 The second life begins with... 624 00:34:23,743 --> 00:34:26,577 We have two lives and when they begin... 625 00:34:27,410 --> 00:34:28,410 I thank you. 626 00:34:35,202 --> 00:34:36,202 Meanwhile, 627 00:34:36,285 --> 00:34:39,077 Caesar, his immense army and Pu Nee 628 00:34:39,243 --> 00:34:42,535 travel the Silk Road, headed at top speed for China. 629 00:34:42,910 --> 00:34:43,993 Or almost. 630 00:34:45,577 --> 00:34:46,743 This is the Silk Road? 631 00:34:46,910 --> 00:34:49,160 We're lost, aren't we? Just admit it. 632 00:34:49,868 --> 00:34:51,868 Woopsus, what is this route? 633 00:34:52,368 --> 00:34:54,660 At least 9,000 men struck northwards. 634 00:34:54,827 --> 00:34:56,327 I can't work like this. 635 00:34:56,493 --> 00:34:57,868 It's just impossible! 636 00:34:58,660 --> 00:35:00,493 Join the army, they said! 637 00:35:04,702 --> 00:35:06,785 Woopsus, your call, left or right? 638 00:35:06,952 --> 00:35:08,868 Easy-peasy papyrus, Caesar. Left. 639 00:35:09,035 --> 00:35:10,202 So we'll go right. 640 00:35:10,743 --> 00:35:13,702 Sorry, will this go on long? Left-right, right-left... 641 00:35:13,868 --> 00:35:16,452 We'll reach China on the 12th of Never. 642 00:35:16,993 --> 00:35:17,993 The upstart! 643 00:35:18,077 --> 00:35:19,702 Hail! Risklus, imperial security. 644 00:35:20,452 --> 00:35:22,160 Risklus, imperial security. 645 00:35:24,618 --> 00:35:27,827 Risklus! Everyone knows you here. Where is Antivirus? 646 00:35:28,243 --> 00:35:29,993 Still on the campaign in Milan. 647 00:35:30,160 --> 00:35:31,993 He's not reading my pigeons. 648 00:35:33,743 --> 00:35:34,910 Caesar, I'm here. 649 00:35:35,910 --> 00:35:38,660 - It's not the same. - Not at all the same. 650 00:35:38,827 --> 00:35:39,952 What do you want? 651 00:35:40,493 --> 00:35:43,952 Almighty Caesar, Carioca, head dancer, wants an audience. 652 00:35:44,118 --> 00:35:46,785 She has demands. For respect or something. 653 00:35:46,952 --> 00:35:47,952 I beat her? 654 00:35:48,577 --> 00:35:49,577 Are you nuts? 655 00:35:50,160 --> 00:35:51,202 Show her in. 656 00:35:54,535 --> 00:35:55,535 Tapioca! 657 00:36:01,993 --> 00:36:04,035 So, Carioca, what do you want? 658 00:36:04,452 --> 00:36:07,993 Caesar, we received new outfits and what do we see? 659 00:36:08,368 --> 00:36:10,160 Shorter than ever. What a surprise! 660 00:36:12,327 --> 00:36:14,910 If you want go-go taverns, Rome is full of them. 661 00:36:15,618 --> 00:36:16,952 I'm sure I have no idea. 662 00:36:17,118 --> 00:36:19,618 Sure! The Palladium near the market. 663 00:36:19,785 --> 00:36:21,493 Or there's Sternum, or Scrotum. 664 00:36:21,660 --> 00:36:22,660 Right... 665 00:36:23,660 --> 00:36:26,910 So, what do you want? Longer outfits for your dancers? 666 00:36:27,077 --> 00:36:28,077 It's a start. 667 00:36:28,118 --> 00:36:32,285 And let's talk about the role of women in Roman society. 668 00:36:32,535 --> 00:36:35,452 Look closely and it's all about men here. 669 00:36:35,618 --> 00:36:37,160 Gladiators? Men. 670 00:36:37,327 --> 00:36:38,660 Senators? Men only. 671 00:36:38,827 --> 00:36:40,285 Legionaries? Men only. 672 00:36:40,452 --> 00:36:42,035 Caesars? Men only. 673 00:36:42,493 --> 00:36:44,160 You want a Julia Caesar? 674 00:36:47,993 --> 00:36:49,660 You want Rome run by a woman? 675 00:36:52,118 --> 00:36:53,118 I see. 676 00:37:01,452 --> 00:37:03,118 Back to our friends. 677 00:37:03,285 --> 00:37:08,202 After crossing the Egyptian desert in sweltering heat, 678 00:37:08,368 --> 00:37:12,077 they reach the Red Sea and the city of Klysma, 679 00:37:12,243 --> 00:37:16,118 a small Egyptian port, later known as Suez. 680 00:37:16,285 --> 00:37:17,535 Yes, like the canal. 681 00:37:23,660 --> 00:37:27,327 If we want a captain, I guarantee we'll find one here. 682 00:37:28,077 --> 00:37:30,785 Look, Asterix, the tavern's called Little Lutetia. 683 00:37:31,243 --> 00:37:37,368 Dare to come and cast the first stone 684 00:37:40,618 --> 00:37:43,077 To fall for one head over heels 685 00:37:43,243 --> 00:37:44,952 leaves a wound that never heals 686 00:37:45,118 --> 00:37:49,202 But the love you feel is the real deal 687 00:37:52,410 --> 00:37:54,993 So don't be harsh or disapprove 688 00:37:55,660 --> 00:37:58,452 When a woman falls in love 689 00:38:00,452 --> 00:38:02,785 - You don't know it. - I know it by heart. 690 00:38:02,952 --> 00:38:05,618 With a man who sweeps her off her feet 691 00:38:11,952 --> 00:38:13,577 See? That's Gaul for you! 692 00:38:13,743 --> 00:38:15,077 I love this place. 693 00:38:15,410 --> 00:38:17,577 Exactly how I pictured Lutetia. 694 00:38:19,535 --> 00:38:20,535 Same here. 695 00:38:25,493 --> 00:38:27,868 That's so good! You're a Gaul for sure. 696 00:38:28,243 --> 00:38:30,160 Yes, duckie. Born and bred. 697 00:38:30,410 --> 00:38:33,035 - You've lived here long? - Donkey's years. 698 00:38:33,202 --> 00:38:35,118 I had a small cabaret in Lutetia. 699 00:38:35,285 --> 00:38:39,077 A hotspot, raking it in, but I fell for a fella, 700 00:38:39,243 --> 00:38:41,452 a lowlife who wanted me as his floozy. 701 00:38:41,618 --> 00:38:43,452 And to clean me out! 702 00:38:44,327 --> 00:38:46,785 So who took her dosh and hightailed it here? 703 00:38:46,952 --> 00:38:49,285 Yours truly. Tipsy, that's me! 704 00:38:50,160 --> 00:38:51,910 What brings you blondies here? 705 00:38:52,285 --> 00:38:54,452 Looking for the best ship's captain. 706 00:38:55,160 --> 00:38:56,535 He's your man. Titanix! 707 00:38:58,702 --> 00:38:59,702 He's reliable? 708 00:39:00,035 --> 00:39:02,785 Titanix is top-notch. Unsinkable! 709 00:39:03,743 --> 00:39:05,077 Thanks for your help, Tipsy. 710 00:39:05,243 --> 00:39:06,452 Anything for a Gaul! 711 00:39:07,493 --> 00:39:09,118 Normally, mutts stay outside. 712 00:39:09,285 --> 00:39:10,785 But you're a real cutie. 713 00:39:17,327 --> 00:39:19,577 We're looking for a boat to China. 714 00:39:19,743 --> 00:39:22,410 China by sea? Too much hassle. 715 00:39:23,285 --> 00:39:24,743 Here's what I got for you... 716 00:39:24,910 --> 00:39:26,577 A quick visit of the coves of Klysma, 717 00:39:26,743 --> 00:39:29,827 all-you-can-eat and swimming, plus the sunset. 718 00:39:30,910 --> 00:39:31,910 Tasty. 719 00:39:33,535 --> 00:39:34,827 Another time. 720 00:39:34,993 --> 00:39:37,160 This is worth more than your boat. 721 00:39:38,160 --> 00:39:39,702 Why didn't you say so? 722 00:39:40,202 --> 00:39:41,285 So how's it... 723 00:39:41,452 --> 00:39:44,327 You think I'll stand by and let you extort me? 724 00:39:44,493 --> 00:39:46,952 Get out before I get out my cudgel! 725 00:39:47,493 --> 00:39:49,535 Tipsy's steaming up. Trouble ahoy. 726 00:39:49,702 --> 00:39:50,743 A problem, Tipsy? 727 00:39:50,910 --> 00:39:53,327 These gents want to dip into my pockets. 728 00:39:53,493 --> 00:39:57,327 They'll get a dose of their own medicine. Nobody messes with Tipsy. 729 00:39:58,702 --> 00:40:00,910 Lightweights! Fooling with a Gaul. 730 00:40:01,077 --> 00:40:02,952 What do you want with the lady? 731 00:40:04,035 --> 00:40:05,160 You're the lightweight. 732 00:40:10,577 --> 00:40:11,577 Screwy. 733 00:40:11,702 --> 00:40:12,868 Princess, in Gaul, 734 00:40:13,035 --> 00:40:15,618 when heavyweights run their mouths off, 735 00:40:16,493 --> 00:40:18,660 flyweights don't listen. 736 00:40:46,618 --> 00:40:47,618 He's a lizard! 737 00:40:55,618 --> 00:40:56,618 What is this? 738 00:41:07,910 --> 00:41:10,702 A very, very strong batch. He overdid it. 739 00:41:11,660 --> 00:41:13,660 Give me a drop. No one will know. 740 00:41:13,827 --> 00:41:14,827 No chance. 741 00:41:18,660 --> 00:41:20,285 One's yours. Take your pick. 742 00:41:20,743 --> 00:41:22,285 The big guy, I guess. 743 00:41:25,368 --> 00:41:26,410 Gentlemen... 744 00:41:35,910 --> 00:41:39,368 I'm not allowed it ever since I fell in as a kid. 745 00:41:39,868 --> 00:41:41,160 So it will hurt less. 746 00:42:00,243 --> 00:42:03,368 Imagine a mini-amphora with two wings painted on it, 747 00:42:03,535 --> 00:42:05,493 containing a drop of magic potion. 748 00:42:05,660 --> 00:42:07,452 A kind of pick-me-up. 749 00:42:07,827 --> 00:42:10,202 We market it as an invigorating drink... 750 00:42:10,368 --> 00:42:12,827 I'll come up with a name for it. 751 00:42:13,202 --> 00:42:17,702 In Rome, with all the orgies and kids dancing through the night, 752 00:42:17,868 --> 00:42:19,035 we'll make a killing. 753 00:42:19,493 --> 00:42:21,910 Count me in. I'll handle transport. 754 00:42:23,243 --> 00:42:24,243 What's that? 755 00:42:24,493 --> 00:42:25,743 It's tai chi. 756 00:42:25,910 --> 00:42:28,743 An ancestral technique to boost the body's energy. 757 00:42:29,785 --> 00:42:31,452 It's crazy, us meeting now. 758 00:42:32,077 --> 00:42:35,077 My new lifestyle's so in step with your culture. 759 00:42:35,743 --> 00:42:38,660 Balance, nutrition, energies, everything! 760 00:42:39,618 --> 00:42:41,118 The two of us are so connected. 761 00:42:47,077 --> 00:42:48,785 - Done? - Meditation. 762 00:42:48,952 --> 00:42:49,702 Great! 763 00:42:49,868 --> 00:42:50,868 No talking! 764 00:42:56,827 --> 00:42:58,077 It's a fine coin. 765 00:43:01,160 --> 00:43:02,202 That's you? 766 00:43:02,743 --> 00:43:05,035 Yes. A gift from my mother. 767 00:43:06,243 --> 00:43:07,243 That's real love. 768 00:43:10,702 --> 00:43:11,952 When I received it, 769 00:43:12,868 --> 00:43:13,868 I didn't smile. 770 00:43:14,910 --> 00:43:16,410 Don't worry, Princess. 771 00:43:16,868 --> 00:43:18,577 I'll rescue your mother. 772 00:43:19,535 --> 00:43:20,535 I'm here for you. 773 00:43:21,743 --> 00:43:23,285 Quick correction, sorry. 774 00:43:23,452 --> 00:43:24,827 We are here for you. 775 00:43:24,993 --> 00:43:28,493 Some of us were here for you from the start of the adventure. 776 00:43:29,535 --> 00:43:30,827 Excuse me. 777 00:43:31,202 --> 00:43:32,243 Princess... 778 00:43:38,035 --> 00:43:39,118 What are you doing? 779 00:43:39,285 --> 00:43:40,910 That was 2 balls! 780 00:43:41,077 --> 00:43:42,743 Put 1 back. That was 2 balls! 781 00:43:42,910 --> 00:43:45,410 Put 1 back. Don't screw me on the balls. 782 00:43:45,577 --> 00:43:47,077 It's extra jailtime for me. 783 00:43:48,618 --> 00:43:50,743 By the way, did you think over... 784 00:43:52,118 --> 00:43:53,118 my offer? 785 00:43:55,952 --> 00:43:57,660 Playing hard to get. 786 00:43:58,243 --> 00:44:00,785 I'm used to tough negotiations, though. 787 00:44:00,952 --> 00:44:02,577 - Ekonomikrisis... - Yes? 788 00:44:02,743 --> 00:44:04,410 If we get out one day, 789 00:44:04,785 --> 00:44:07,577 would you like to keep trading in China? 790 00:44:08,327 --> 00:44:09,785 - Sure. - So shut up. 791 00:44:11,702 --> 00:44:13,868 They put us together to torture me. 792 00:44:14,577 --> 00:44:15,785 Let's not exaggerate. 793 00:44:17,035 --> 00:44:18,368 Perhaps it's... 794 00:44:19,118 --> 00:44:20,827 destiny bringing us together. 795 00:44:21,160 --> 00:44:22,868 Maktub, as they say back home. 796 00:44:24,202 --> 00:44:26,535 You're very beautiful in a temper. 797 00:44:45,452 --> 00:44:46,243 Gents! 798 00:44:46,410 --> 00:44:49,077 Here, on the Red Sea, no more fatal encounters! 799 00:44:49,452 --> 00:44:51,577 Who are the predators here? 800 00:44:51,743 --> 00:44:53,327 - We are! - Bang on! 801 00:44:54,952 --> 00:44:57,118 Ship ahoy! 802 00:44:58,285 --> 00:44:59,327 Thanks, lookout! 803 00:44:59,493 --> 00:45:00,702 Just doing my job! 804 00:45:01,118 --> 00:45:03,243 No lavish ship will escape us. 805 00:45:03,410 --> 00:45:04,743 We sleep tonight in silk! 806 00:45:20,035 --> 00:45:20,785 The Gauls? 807 00:45:20,952 --> 00:45:23,202 It's the Gauls! 808 00:45:25,952 --> 00:45:27,118 Peek-a-boo! 809 00:45:27,618 --> 00:45:28,618 Hi, guys! 810 00:45:33,368 --> 00:45:34,452 Not the Gauls! 811 00:45:34,618 --> 00:45:35,618 Why us? 812 00:45:37,035 --> 00:45:38,243 There are other ships. 813 00:45:39,202 --> 00:45:41,577 Morning, could you pretend not to see us? 814 00:45:41,743 --> 00:45:43,160 But we have seen you. 815 00:45:43,660 --> 00:45:44,660 That's fair. 816 00:45:45,702 --> 00:45:46,702 Prepare our defences! 817 00:45:46,868 --> 00:45:47,868 Let's go! 818 00:45:52,368 --> 00:45:54,285 Freshly painted too! 819 00:45:54,827 --> 00:45:56,160 Watch out now! 820 00:46:00,910 --> 00:46:02,577 Don't think I enjoy it. 821 00:46:03,910 --> 00:46:04,910 No, wait. 822 00:46:05,952 --> 00:46:07,368 Watch some Chinese fighting. 823 00:46:25,827 --> 00:46:26,993 What now, skipper? 824 00:46:28,493 --> 00:46:29,618 I'm not feeling it. 825 00:46:29,785 --> 00:46:31,577 Let's go anyway. Attack! 826 00:46:35,452 --> 00:46:36,618 No, go back! 827 00:46:36,785 --> 00:46:38,243 Michel, go on! 828 00:46:52,660 --> 00:46:54,035 That's gotta hurt. 829 00:47:02,410 --> 00:47:03,618 That's too many feet! 830 00:47:05,077 --> 00:47:06,327 Let me through. 831 00:47:10,077 --> 00:47:11,285 Sorry, skipper. 832 00:47:11,452 --> 00:47:12,577 Where you going? 833 00:47:12,743 --> 00:47:14,285 Going out like a prince. 834 00:47:15,910 --> 00:47:17,118 Behind you! 835 00:47:21,618 --> 00:47:23,327 Cool it, crazywoman! 836 00:48:03,827 --> 00:48:04,827 Comrades, 837 00:48:05,202 --> 00:48:07,285 official reason for us sinking, 838 00:48:07,452 --> 00:48:09,493 we ran into a Chinese tornado. 839 00:48:19,452 --> 00:48:20,452 May I? 840 00:48:21,035 --> 00:48:22,035 Yes. 841 00:48:25,868 --> 00:48:26,868 Beautiful. 842 00:48:28,410 --> 00:48:29,702 I wanted to say, 843 00:48:30,368 --> 00:48:31,868 you fight fabulously. 844 00:48:32,785 --> 00:48:33,785 Thank you. 845 00:48:34,952 --> 00:48:37,243 How come you never use the potion? 846 00:48:37,410 --> 00:48:38,577 I'm not allowed to. 847 00:48:40,535 --> 00:48:43,285 Dangerous, apparently. One shot too many. 848 00:48:45,952 --> 00:48:49,035 I'd love to feel that kick just one more time. 849 00:49:38,535 --> 00:49:39,535 Obelix? 850 00:49:41,868 --> 00:49:42,868 Mummy! 851 00:49:48,327 --> 00:49:50,035 The feeling is extraordinary. 852 00:49:50,368 --> 00:49:52,743 Fizzing through your head and body. A bit like... 853 00:49:52,910 --> 00:49:54,952 falling in love, so I hear. 854 00:50:21,327 --> 00:50:24,077 Having found their way again at last, 855 00:50:24,243 --> 00:50:26,410 Caesar and his powerful army 856 00:50:26,577 --> 00:50:29,743 cross Persia, the mountains of India, 857 00:50:29,910 --> 00:50:31,493 the Mongolian steppes, 858 00:50:31,660 --> 00:50:34,160 and finally reach the gates of China, 859 00:50:34,327 --> 00:50:36,493 where the formidable Deng Tsin Quin 860 00:50:36,660 --> 00:50:38,618 is perfecting his dastardly plan 861 00:50:38,785 --> 00:50:40,827 to conquer all six kingdoms. 862 00:50:47,743 --> 00:50:48,743 Ave! 863 00:50:49,160 --> 00:50:50,202 This is the war? 864 00:50:50,368 --> 00:50:51,368 Prince Deng Tsin Quin, 865 00:50:51,535 --> 00:50:52,993 allow me to introduce... 866 00:50:53,535 --> 00:50:57,077 Julius Caesar himself. Impressive, I know, but deep breaths 867 00:50:57,243 --> 00:50:58,702 and everything will be fine. 868 00:50:59,285 --> 00:51:02,202 So where are these rebels you can't keep in check? 869 00:51:02,368 --> 00:51:05,827 War's a full-time job. Good idea to call in the professionals. 870 00:51:07,868 --> 00:51:09,160 Aren't you overthinking it? 871 00:51:09,327 --> 00:51:11,368 No, simply following Sun Tzu, 872 00:51:11,743 --> 00:51:13,368 the greatest Chinese strategist, 873 00:51:13,535 --> 00:51:14,993 who wrote The Art of War. 874 00:51:15,743 --> 00:51:16,910 The Fart is Raw? 875 00:51:18,577 --> 00:51:22,535 Anyway, shrimps, keep those eyes open. We'll make short work of this. 876 00:51:23,202 --> 00:51:23,952 All right... 877 00:51:24,118 --> 00:51:25,958 - If you want peace... - Prepare for war. 878 00:51:25,993 --> 00:51:26,993 Exactly! 879 00:51:28,285 --> 00:51:29,368 He's hard work. 880 00:51:29,535 --> 00:51:30,535 A maniac. 881 00:51:30,702 --> 00:51:33,827 Mega-pretentious, too. First decan cancer. The pits. 882 00:51:34,535 --> 00:51:37,160 I had no idea. I need sleep. Chariot-lag. 883 00:51:41,452 --> 00:51:43,035 Biopix, new chapter. 884 00:51:43,202 --> 00:51:45,743 After Caesar the Seducer, 885 00:51:46,410 --> 00:51:47,743 Caesar the Strategist. 886 00:51:47,910 --> 00:51:50,410 Hold on, change of scroll and I'm all yours. 887 00:51:50,577 --> 00:51:52,118 - Helmet! - Hoofus! 888 00:52:03,785 --> 00:52:04,785 Sword! 889 00:52:08,368 --> 00:52:09,202 What on earth? 890 00:52:09,368 --> 00:52:11,577 - Last time you cut yourself... - Enough! 891 00:52:13,035 --> 00:52:14,743 Any news of Antivirus? 892 00:52:14,910 --> 00:52:16,910 He's here and ready, almighty Caesar. 893 00:52:17,077 --> 00:52:18,160 All right, let's go! 894 00:52:23,285 --> 00:52:24,285 All together! 895 00:52:28,118 --> 00:52:30,202 - Goose bumps. - Same here. 896 00:53:49,827 --> 00:53:51,035 Antivirus, I love you! 897 00:54:04,202 --> 00:54:06,952 Antivirus, don't go losing your cool. 898 00:54:07,368 --> 00:54:09,160 Cut the pushing. It hurts. 899 00:54:09,327 --> 00:54:10,910 You wanted Antivirus, 900 00:54:11,327 --> 00:54:13,118 I gave you Antivirus. 901 00:54:13,285 --> 00:54:16,243 Now go back to your chariot races. 902 00:54:18,702 --> 00:54:20,952 Why talk when you can fly. 903 00:54:45,535 --> 00:54:47,160 A walk in the park! 904 00:54:49,660 --> 00:54:50,952 In a few days, 905 00:54:51,118 --> 00:54:52,785 I shall be master of China. 906 00:54:53,868 --> 00:54:57,993 I almost envy you, getting a first taste of Rome's power. 907 00:54:58,618 --> 00:55:00,868 Veni, vidi, vici. 908 00:55:01,910 --> 00:55:04,118 Caesar, you spoil me. 909 00:55:04,285 --> 00:55:06,077 I've got it word for word. 910 00:55:06,243 --> 00:55:08,660 - Awkward. This is for dinner? - Yes. 911 00:55:08,827 --> 00:55:10,577 - No sense of hospitality. - No. 912 00:55:11,743 --> 00:55:13,493 And Antivirus? Not here? 913 00:55:13,868 --> 00:55:14,868 He's sleeping. 914 00:55:15,035 --> 00:55:16,035 Sleeping? 915 00:55:16,118 --> 00:55:17,118 I'm here, Caesar. 916 00:55:17,202 --> 00:55:19,410 - Yes, but it's not the same. - Not at all. 917 00:55:21,202 --> 00:55:23,702 You have one last kingdom to conquer. 918 00:55:23,868 --> 00:55:24,868 The trickiest. 919 00:55:26,118 --> 00:55:27,993 Our victories echo around the land. 920 00:55:28,160 --> 00:55:29,868 And the Ku Koos never give up. 921 00:55:30,035 --> 00:55:32,827 Fine. Let's see who's the biggest Ku Koo. 922 00:55:34,910 --> 00:55:37,827 Not laughing. King So Ku Koo passed this winter. 923 00:55:38,618 --> 00:55:41,368 His son and heir, Prince of Ku Koo, is 20 924 00:55:41,535 --> 00:55:44,285 and wears a mask to hide a terrible malformation. 925 00:55:44,452 --> 00:55:46,118 The man in the bamboo mask. 926 00:55:46,618 --> 00:55:47,452 A death 927 00:55:47,618 --> 00:55:51,077 and taking a drubbing from Caesar. Bad year for the Ku Koos. 928 00:55:52,243 --> 00:55:53,452 By the way... 929 00:55:54,743 --> 00:55:56,285 you seem a bit cuckoo. 930 00:55:56,952 --> 00:55:59,285 No, I'm a Quin. No relation. 931 00:55:59,452 --> 00:56:00,452 I mean... 932 00:56:03,368 --> 00:56:04,785 you're totally cuckoo, right? 933 00:56:11,368 --> 00:56:15,910 Why would you want my help in ousting you from your own kingdom? 934 00:56:16,160 --> 00:56:17,952 What do you stand to gain, 935 00:56:18,118 --> 00:56:20,118 Deng Tsin Quin? 936 00:56:21,410 --> 00:56:23,577 You plan to give me a Caesarian 937 00:56:23,743 --> 00:56:25,660 after I conquer all the kingdoms? 938 00:56:26,077 --> 00:56:27,077 No. 939 00:56:27,535 --> 00:56:28,785 I'd never do that. 940 00:56:29,285 --> 00:56:30,285 Really? 941 00:56:31,743 --> 00:56:32,743 I would. 942 00:56:33,493 --> 00:56:34,868 At the drop of a hat! 943 00:56:36,410 --> 00:56:37,410 Good one! 944 00:56:39,410 --> 00:56:41,118 Tell me, O Caesar, 945 00:56:41,827 --> 00:56:43,785 did you know that Queen Cleopatra 946 00:56:43,952 --> 00:56:45,493 is highly respected in China? 947 00:56:46,285 --> 00:56:47,285 That's true. 948 00:56:47,368 --> 00:56:50,577 She's done so much for the conservation of pandas that... 949 00:56:51,202 --> 00:56:53,327 What's she like in real life? Cool? 950 00:57:08,368 --> 00:57:09,910 Home at last. 951 00:57:11,285 --> 00:57:14,160 Can you smell the bamboo, eucalyptus and ginger? 952 00:57:15,660 --> 00:57:17,743 Don't bother. They have no idea. 953 00:57:18,202 --> 00:57:19,785 I smell them, though. 954 00:57:20,618 --> 00:57:21,660 What sweet scent! 955 00:57:22,202 --> 00:57:23,202 Titanix, 956 00:57:23,368 --> 00:57:25,368 you'll head straight back to Egypt? 957 00:57:25,535 --> 00:57:28,118 No, straight on till I'm back where I started, 958 00:57:28,285 --> 00:57:29,827 to prove the earth's round. 959 00:58:00,368 --> 00:58:02,410 Didn't I promise you'd be back? 960 00:58:07,993 --> 00:58:10,618 Miss Tik, how will we find your master here? 961 00:58:10,785 --> 00:58:12,077 He will find us. 962 00:58:30,202 --> 00:58:32,285 - What was the message? - Nothing. 963 00:58:33,452 --> 00:58:34,910 The bald guy's a friend? 964 00:58:36,368 --> 00:58:38,410 Why not tell me if it's nothing? 965 00:58:40,327 --> 00:58:44,035 Master Sill Lee will come to the inn where we're staying. 966 00:58:45,202 --> 00:58:47,493 Why all the mystery? 967 00:58:47,660 --> 00:58:49,035 I've lost my appetite now! 968 00:58:51,868 --> 00:58:53,452 He's never like that. 969 00:58:54,910 --> 00:58:58,868 Could be the fatigue, time difference and culture shock. 970 00:58:59,327 --> 00:59:00,910 Can we talk honestly? 971 00:59:01,535 --> 00:59:04,952 We're hardly bosom buddies. I hate you, and it feels mutual. 972 00:59:06,202 --> 00:59:08,452 But it's really tense between you two. 973 00:59:08,702 --> 00:59:10,410 The tension's getting to us all. 974 00:59:11,118 --> 00:59:12,410 - It is? - Yes. 975 00:59:13,327 --> 00:59:15,285 I have an idea for you both 976 00:59:15,785 --> 00:59:18,827 and honestly it will do you the world of good. 977 00:59:21,493 --> 00:59:23,410 Obelix, we need to talk. 978 00:59:23,952 --> 00:59:25,077 I'm all ears. 979 00:59:25,243 --> 00:59:28,993 You've noticed the Princess and I have a real good thing going? 980 00:59:30,952 --> 00:59:31,952 For sure. 981 00:59:33,618 --> 00:59:35,827 I think it would be simpler... 982 00:59:36,535 --> 00:59:38,702 if she moved to our village. 983 00:59:38,868 --> 00:59:39,868 All right. 984 00:59:40,785 --> 00:59:42,285 You and I are... 985 00:59:42,702 --> 00:59:44,535 We've lived together for ages. 986 00:59:45,077 --> 00:59:47,077 We never said it was for life. 987 00:59:48,285 --> 00:59:49,702 Seeing as, originally, 988 00:59:50,035 --> 00:59:51,868 it was my parents' hut... 989 00:59:55,910 --> 00:59:57,660 You'd like me to move out? 990 00:59:58,660 --> 00:59:59,660 Yes. 991 01:00:03,827 --> 01:00:05,285 What a relief! 992 01:00:05,452 --> 01:00:08,743 I want to move out and had no idea how to tell you. 993 01:00:09,368 --> 01:00:10,368 Really? 994 01:00:12,868 --> 01:00:14,160 I'm in love, too. 995 01:00:15,702 --> 01:00:16,743 You're in love? 996 01:00:17,577 --> 01:00:19,202 Beautiful Miss Tik. 997 01:00:22,535 --> 01:00:23,535 Miss Tik? 998 01:00:24,285 --> 01:00:25,618 Our Miss Tik? 999 01:00:26,077 --> 01:00:27,077 Seriously? 1000 01:00:29,660 --> 01:00:30,993 What's so funny? 1001 01:00:31,910 --> 01:00:33,077 I'm just surprised. 1002 01:00:33,243 --> 01:00:34,410 By me falling in love? 1003 01:00:35,118 --> 01:00:36,285 Come on, Oby... 1004 01:00:36,452 --> 01:00:37,660 Don't Oby me. 1005 01:00:37,910 --> 01:00:38,910 No more Oby! 1006 01:00:40,577 --> 01:00:41,577 What's funny? 1007 01:00:41,660 --> 01:00:43,077 I've no right to love? 1008 01:00:43,577 --> 01:00:44,785 No rights at all! 1009 01:00:44,952 --> 01:00:46,743 Nonsense! It's all about you. 1010 01:00:46,910 --> 01:00:47,910 It is not! 1011 01:00:48,035 --> 01:00:49,035 It is! 1012 01:00:50,410 --> 01:00:51,868 No magic potion for Obelix. 1013 01:00:52,035 --> 01:00:53,202 No love for Obelix! 1014 01:00:53,368 --> 01:00:56,327 Poor Obelix! He can't have any magic potion. 1015 01:00:57,118 --> 01:00:58,118 Poor Obelix! 1016 01:00:58,202 --> 01:00:59,410 Now I'm not allowed 1017 01:00:59,577 --> 01:01:02,827 to roast my wild boar in my own hut! 1018 01:01:03,410 --> 01:01:06,202 Sorry, not my hut. Asterix's parents' hut! 1019 01:01:06,368 --> 01:01:07,077 Correct! 1020 01:01:07,243 --> 01:01:09,202 And he wants me to eat fruit and veg! 1021 01:01:09,368 --> 01:01:11,660 Why should we eat fruit and veg? 1022 01:01:11,827 --> 01:01:12,910 For your sake! 1023 01:01:13,243 --> 01:01:14,243 Your health! 1024 01:01:14,327 --> 01:01:16,327 Don't say the word! Don't say it! 1025 01:01:16,493 --> 01:01:17,743 Because you're fat! 1026 01:01:20,202 --> 01:01:22,410 I am curvaceous! 1027 01:01:23,243 --> 01:01:24,410 But at least I'm... 1028 01:01:24,868 --> 01:01:26,035 strong. 1029 01:01:26,202 --> 01:01:28,077 There we go. Thank you! 1030 01:01:28,243 --> 01:01:31,035 You think it's easy always being weaker? 1031 01:01:31,452 --> 01:01:32,785 Dependent on a flask! 1032 01:01:32,952 --> 01:01:34,202 Serves you right! 1033 01:01:34,618 --> 01:01:35,827 There, I said it! 1034 01:01:37,660 --> 01:01:40,202 Needles work well. Release tensions. 1035 01:01:41,910 --> 01:01:43,952 Speak freely. 1036 01:01:56,285 --> 01:01:57,785 - Romans! - No, Obelix. 1037 01:01:58,202 --> 01:01:59,202 What now? 1038 01:01:59,368 --> 01:02:01,535 We protect the princess's identity. 1039 01:02:02,660 --> 01:02:04,160 What brings Caesar to China? 1040 01:02:04,493 --> 01:02:07,285 The traitor Deng Tsin Quin has sold us out. 1041 01:02:09,702 --> 01:02:11,202 News flash! 1042 01:02:11,952 --> 01:02:13,160 People of China, 1043 01:02:13,493 --> 01:02:15,952 Prince Deng Tsin Quin and Julius Caesar 1044 01:02:16,118 --> 01:02:18,493 are delighted to announce the public execution 1045 01:02:18,660 --> 01:02:19,910 of the ex-Empress. 1046 01:02:20,993 --> 01:02:24,493 Beheading will take place in seven days at sunset. 1047 01:02:25,702 --> 01:02:29,577 Fries will be stirred. Book early to avoid disappointment. 1048 01:02:29,743 --> 01:02:30,743 Nobody told me. 1049 01:02:30,785 --> 01:02:32,493 By papyrus? You're not in the group? 1050 01:02:32,660 --> 01:02:34,410 I never am! 1051 01:02:34,577 --> 01:02:36,410 I am Princess Sa See! 1052 01:02:36,577 --> 01:02:38,743 Nobody harms the daughter of the heavens, 1053 01:02:38,910 --> 01:02:41,327 her majesty the Empress, my mother! 1054 01:02:41,493 --> 01:02:42,493 Arrest her! 1055 01:02:49,577 --> 01:02:50,577 Hey, doggie. 1056 01:02:51,285 --> 01:02:52,077 Bring it on. 1057 01:02:52,243 --> 01:02:55,452 Anyone who touches a single hair of my future wife 1058 01:02:55,618 --> 01:02:57,910 must prepare for a world of pain. 1059 01:02:59,618 --> 01:03:00,618 I said that? 1060 01:03:07,452 --> 01:03:09,618 Hold on, timeout. Pause it. 1061 01:03:09,785 --> 01:03:12,410 Just a second, I'll be right back. 1062 01:03:13,660 --> 01:03:14,868 You're kidding me. 1063 01:03:17,327 --> 01:03:18,452 You good? 1064 01:03:22,410 --> 01:03:23,410 We can start? 1065 01:03:23,827 --> 01:03:24,660 Toilet break. 1066 01:03:24,827 --> 01:03:25,577 Sure. 1067 01:03:25,743 --> 01:03:26,868 Not buying it. 1068 01:03:57,160 --> 01:03:58,160 Wring! 1069 01:04:21,535 --> 01:04:22,535 How about that. 1070 01:04:28,202 --> 01:04:30,868 The acupuncturist prescribed me two days' rest. 1071 01:04:31,035 --> 01:04:32,327 For what we get paid... 1072 01:04:34,118 --> 01:04:35,452 Act like we never met? 1073 01:04:35,618 --> 01:04:36,618 We never met. 1074 01:05:31,910 --> 01:05:34,118 Say, he just flew off my fist. 1075 01:05:34,285 --> 01:05:35,285 Yeah, I saw that. 1076 01:05:35,452 --> 01:05:37,327 Let's face it, no one beats you. 1077 01:05:38,243 --> 01:05:39,452 What's this? 1078 01:05:42,660 --> 01:05:43,702 Insane! So tight. 1079 01:05:43,868 --> 01:05:45,577 Come on, Princess, it's not safe. 1080 01:05:45,743 --> 01:05:47,827 "Come on, Princess, it's not safe." 1081 01:05:49,535 --> 01:05:50,618 A problem? 1082 01:05:50,785 --> 01:05:51,785 Maybe. 1083 01:05:52,702 --> 01:05:53,743 Potion's worn off? 1084 01:05:54,202 --> 01:05:55,868 Maybe. Try me, you'll see. 1085 01:05:57,202 --> 01:05:58,202 We'll talk later. 1086 01:05:58,993 --> 01:06:00,118 Ready when you are. 1087 01:06:19,118 --> 01:06:20,118 Halt! 1088 01:06:25,077 --> 01:06:26,827 THE ORIGINAL 2CV 1089 01:06:32,202 --> 01:06:33,827 SOAPS by CLEO 1090 01:06:36,493 --> 01:06:38,077 Who whistled? 1091 01:06:49,077 --> 01:06:50,160 I go off to war. 1092 01:06:51,118 --> 01:06:53,077 I risk my life and nothing from her. 1093 01:06:53,660 --> 01:06:55,202 No messages, no news. 1094 01:06:55,535 --> 01:06:57,118 No papyrus, no pigeons. 1095 01:06:57,493 --> 01:06:59,160 Time to snap out of it! 1096 01:06:59,410 --> 01:07:01,910 We were the intrepid, conquering hero. 1097 01:07:02,077 --> 01:07:03,535 We've gone a bit flat. 1098 01:07:03,702 --> 01:07:04,702 He's right. 1099 01:07:04,868 --> 01:07:06,077 You messaged her? 1100 01:07:06,243 --> 01:07:09,035 No, we said no messages. We play it cool. 1101 01:07:09,202 --> 01:07:11,993 We do nothing. Let her stew like beef. 1102 01:07:12,160 --> 01:07:14,118 Butt out, cupcake! 1103 01:07:14,577 --> 01:07:16,077 Come again, sentry? 1104 01:07:16,368 --> 01:07:19,368 Risklus! An aquarium, with water on the brain! 1105 01:07:19,535 --> 01:07:22,618 Two-bit Antivirus! You're not fit to shine his sandals. 1106 01:07:22,785 --> 01:07:24,368 Shut your trap! 1107 01:07:27,910 --> 01:07:29,702 Who wears the toga at home? 1108 01:07:30,160 --> 01:07:31,160 Who's the boss? 1109 01:07:31,702 --> 01:07:32,702 I am. 1110 01:07:33,160 --> 01:07:34,410 Anyone hear that? 1111 01:07:34,868 --> 01:07:36,368 Who's the boss? 1112 01:07:37,785 --> 01:07:39,202 - I am. - There you are! 1113 01:07:39,368 --> 01:07:41,118 You're back. Julius Caesar! 1114 01:07:41,285 --> 01:07:42,785 Our champion! Number one! 1115 01:07:44,285 --> 01:07:45,368 The only message is, 1116 01:07:45,535 --> 01:07:48,535 "Take your trunks and stuff, and go home to Egypt! 1117 01:07:48,702 --> 01:07:51,410 "Walking straight or sideways, whatever, just go!" 1118 01:07:55,327 --> 01:07:56,660 You're right. Scribe! 1119 01:08:08,160 --> 01:08:09,202 Better! 1120 01:08:09,618 --> 01:08:13,035 I want my palace in Rome empty of sarcophagi and bandages. 1121 01:08:14,077 --> 01:08:17,077 As of today, you know who wears the toga at home. 1122 01:08:18,535 --> 01:08:19,535 Ave, me! 1123 01:08:19,868 --> 01:08:23,535 There, that's big-time Caesar. Masterful! 1124 01:08:23,702 --> 01:08:25,327 The Queen of Egypt? 1125 01:08:25,493 --> 01:08:27,410 Queen of Nitwits more like! 1126 01:08:28,493 --> 01:08:30,160 They're not singing anymore... 1127 01:08:30,327 --> 01:08:32,952 They're not singing, the Egyptians! 1128 01:08:33,368 --> 01:08:34,993 - Send. - Yes! 1129 01:08:39,035 --> 01:08:40,243 Pigeon! 1130 01:08:43,618 --> 01:08:44,743 A bunny! 1131 01:08:45,827 --> 01:08:47,243 It's a bunny. 1132 01:08:47,410 --> 01:08:48,410 Scary! 1133 01:08:48,743 --> 01:08:49,993 A raccoon! 1134 01:08:54,077 --> 01:08:55,077 A goat! 1135 01:08:55,827 --> 01:08:56,993 A billy goat. 1136 01:09:03,077 --> 01:09:04,785 Come on, sweetie, let's go. 1137 01:09:13,952 --> 01:09:15,035 From Cleopatra. 1138 01:09:15,202 --> 01:09:16,202 Already? 1139 01:09:17,660 --> 01:09:18,660 Read it. 1140 01:09:30,618 --> 01:09:31,910 Don't understand a word. 1141 01:09:32,077 --> 01:09:33,077 I don't understand. 1142 01:09:35,035 --> 01:09:36,660 "I wanted to apologise. 1143 01:09:37,618 --> 01:09:38,785 "For my behaviour. 1144 01:09:38,952 --> 01:09:40,160 "I went too far." 1145 01:09:40,327 --> 01:09:41,327 For sure. 1146 01:09:42,493 --> 01:09:46,368 "Four months apart and I dream of us being reunited. 1147 01:09:46,993 --> 01:09:49,618 "Waiting for you in Rome. Come back soon. 1148 01:09:50,818 --> 01:09:52,110 "Your loving Cleo." 1149 01:09:53,818 --> 01:09:55,193 Stop the pigeon! 1150 01:09:55,693 --> 01:09:56,735 Cancel the pigeon! 1151 01:09:56,902 --> 01:09:58,527 - Fast! - We can't cancel it. 1152 01:09:58,693 --> 01:09:59,943 Sent is sent. 1153 01:10:00,318 --> 01:10:01,318 I beat him? 1154 01:10:01,402 --> 01:10:02,735 Everybody out! 1155 01:10:07,860 --> 01:10:09,027 I said everybody. 1156 01:11:26,985 --> 01:11:28,818 Hungry? There's lots of fruit. 1157 01:11:28,985 --> 01:11:30,027 - Hands off. - What? 1158 01:11:30,193 --> 01:11:31,485 They're offerings. 1159 01:11:32,152 --> 01:11:33,527 Sorry. I didn't... 1160 01:11:41,485 --> 01:11:42,485 Hold on. 1161 01:11:42,568 --> 01:11:44,485 Move along. Have a good evening. 1162 01:11:45,027 --> 01:11:46,068 Good luck. 1163 01:11:46,818 --> 01:11:47,943 Just a beggar. 1164 01:11:53,152 --> 01:11:54,152 Master Sill Lee. 1165 01:11:55,485 --> 01:11:56,485 Sorry. 1166 01:11:57,443 --> 01:12:00,110 Profuse apologies, Mr Sill Lee. I thought... 1167 01:12:00,527 --> 01:12:03,818 Master Sill Lee is a hermit who devotes his life to meditation. 1168 01:12:03,985 --> 01:12:05,693 He took a vow of absolute poverty. 1169 01:12:06,943 --> 01:12:09,443 Bravo for the oath. That blows my mind. 1170 01:12:09,610 --> 01:12:10,777 It's beyond me. 1171 01:12:10,943 --> 01:12:13,985 In that case, allow me to relieve you of the money. 1172 01:12:14,152 --> 01:12:16,610 Try to take back your coin, 1173 01:12:17,068 --> 01:12:18,485 little grasshopper. 1174 01:12:22,943 --> 01:12:24,652 It's too easy. You're blind. 1175 01:12:24,818 --> 01:12:28,068 Never assume a man cannot see because he's... 1176 01:12:30,068 --> 01:12:31,693 You saw that coming? 1177 01:12:33,443 --> 01:12:34,943 There we are! 1178 01:12:35,527 --> 01:12:36,735 It was his game. 1179 01:12:36,902 --> 01:12:37,902 Leave him. 1180 01:12:38,068 --> 01:12:39,110 Little grasshopper! 1181 01:12:39,568 --> 01:12:41,277 Sir, over here. 1182 01:12:42,485 --> 01:12:44,277 You are as swift as a cobra. 1183 01:12:44,443 --> 01:12:45,443 Yup, Sill Lee. 1184 01:12:45,527 --> 01:12:47,943 Can we move on to important matters? 1185 01:12:54,152 --> 01:12:55,360 By Toutatis! 1186 01:12:55,777 --> 01:12:59,568 Deng Tsin Quin spreads terror across the whole country. 1187 01:13:00,068 --> 01:13:01,735 Do not touch. 1188 01:13:02,693 --> 01:13:03,693 Hard to resist. 1189 01:13:04,110 --> 01:13:05,193 I see 1190 01:13:05,402 --> 01:13:07,318 an old abandoned temple. 1191 01:13:07,777 --> 01:13:09,360 The temple in Xuan. 1192 01:13:09,818 --> 01:13:13,402 Her majesty the Empress is held prisoner. 1193 01:13:15,235 --> 01:13:16,610 After releasing her, 1194 01:13:16,777 --> 01:13:19,693 you must go with all speed 1195 01:13:19,860 --> 01:13:21,443 to the Ku Koos' palace, 1196 01:13:21,610 --> 01:13:25,777 before Caesar seizes the final kingdom. 1197 01:13:26,360 --> 01:13:28,443 You will encounter 1198 01:13:29,068 --> 01:13:30,152 the hideous... 1199 01:13:30,610 --> 01:13:32,152 the unsightly... 1200 01:13:32,318 --> 01:13:36,277 the monstrous crown prince, 1201 01:13:36,443 --> 01:13:37,652 Prince of Ku Koo, 1202 01:13:37,818 --> 01:13:40,985 the man in the bamboo mask. 1203 01:13:43,027 --> 01:13:44,735 Don't worry, it's fake. 1204 01:13:45,193 --> 01:13:46,443 Good luck! 1205 01:13:47,235 --> 01:13:49,652 We must go our separate ways. 1206 01:13:50,235 --> 01:13:51,568 Grand master, 1207 01:13:52,068 --> 01:13:53,735 are you done with the ball? 1208 01:13:55,360 --> 01:13:56,360 Yes. 1209 01:14:00,610 --> 01:14:01,902 Holy cow! 1210 01:14:04,777 --> 01:14:06,652 There you are. You broke it. 1211 01:14:06,818 --> 01:14:08,402 He said do not touch. 1212 01:14:10,443 --> 01:14:11,485 He's right. 1213 01:14:12,402 --> 01:14:14,235 I said do not touch! 1214 01:14:20,277 --> 01:14:21,735 Why'd you touch it? 1215 01:14:27,318 --> 01:14:29,860 Seen Princess Sa See? With two warriors... 1216 01:14:34,027 --> 01:14:35,360 Princess Sa See? 1217 01:14:35,527 --> 01:14:38,777 Seen her? With two superhuman foreign warriors. 1218 01:14:39,360 --> 01:14:40,360 And a dog. 1219 01:14:55,652 --> 01:14:58,110 You're waiting for an ale? Bring them in! 1220 01:14:58,943 --> 01:15:00,568 - Asterix! - What? Run! 1221 01:15:01,068 --> 01:15:02,318 - Asterix! - What? 1222 01:15:02,485 --> 01:15:03,860 Why are we running? 1223 01:15:04,360 --> 01:15:06,027 - So I don't have to fight. - Why? 1224 01:15:06,193 --> 01:15:08,068 No more potion with the Princess. 1225 01:15:08,235 --> 01:15:10,152 I'm sick of looking stupid. 1226 01:15:10,652 --> 01:15:12,693 Hurry! I bagged a rickshaw. 1227 01:15:12,860 --> 01:15:13,943 Come on! 1228 01:15:15,735 --> 01:15:16,735 Fast! 1229 01:15:17,485 --> 01:15:18,527 Faster! 1230 01:15:23,068 --> 01:15:24,443 He does this on purpose. 1231 01:16:17,360 --> 01:16:18,443 All right. 1232 01:16:24,152 --> 01:16:26,902 One more ball and it's curtains for us. 1233 01:16:27,943 --> 01:16:29,152 So, our last night... 1234 01:16:30,068 --> 01:16:31,360 I was thinking... 1235 01:16:32,068 --> 01:16:34,068 maybe as a memento... 1236 01:16:34,235 --> 01:16:35,235 Majesty! 1237 01:16:36,777 --> 01:16:37,860 Gave me a fright! 1238 01:16:38,027 --> 01:16:39,443 We'll get you out. 1239 01:16:39,902 --> 01:16:40,902 Who's that? 1240 01:16:42,818 --> 01:16:44,068 Stand back. 1241 01:16:55,110 --> 01:16:56,110 All good? 1242 01:17:04,193 --> 01:17:05,193 Sorry. 1243 01:17:17,860 --> 01:17:18,860 Rise. 1244 01:17:20,443 --> 01:17:21,235 Let's go. 1245 01:17:21,402 --> 01:17:22,735 Jump. We'll catch you. 1246 01:17:22,902 --> 01:17:24,527 What? Jump? 1247 01:17:24,693 --> 01:17:26,193 I can't leave right now! 1248 01:17:26,485 --> 01:17:28,527 Abandon a negotiation? Not my style! 1249 01:17:29,152 --> 01:17:30,818 In two balls, the guard caves. 1250 01:17:30,985 --> 01:17:33,610 Go ahead without me. I'll catch you up. 1251 01:17:34,360 --> 01:17:35,360 Are you sure? 1252 01:17:36,027 --> 01:17:37,027 Yes. 1253 01:17:37,985 --> 01:17:39,027 As you wish. 1254 01:17:42,443 --> 01:17:43,443 Take care. 1255 01:17:44,402 --> 01:17:45,610 And keep your head. 1256 01:17:47,902 --> 01:17:49,318 You're afraid for me. 1257 01:17:50,610 --> 01:17:54,527 You see, you're even more beautiful smiling than in a temper. 1258 01:18:02,443 --> 01:18:04,068 She's so impressive! 1259 01:18:05,527 --> 01:18:06,610 Thank you. 1260 01:18:08,068 --> 01:18:09,068 Mother! 1261 01:18:09,943 --> 01:18:11,568 What joy to see you again. 1262 01:18:21,777 --> 01:18:22,402 Alert! 1263 01:18:22,568 --> 01:18:23,193 Run! 1264 01:18:23,360 --> 01:18:24,360 They've escaped! 1265 01:18:35,193 --> 01:18:36,652 Which way now? Which way? 1266 01:18:38,360 --> 01:18:39,360 Wait. 1267 01:18:40,277 --> 01:18:42,235 Good. We lost them. 1268 01:18:42,402 --> 01:18:44,610 Friends from Gaul. Thanks for your help. 1269 01:18:44,777 --> 01:18:46,568 Our pleasure, Your Majesty. 1270 01:18:47,443 --> 01:18:49,527 Seeing as no one introduces me... 1271 01:18:51,277 --> 01:18:52,485 Bankruptis. 1272 01:18:52,652 --> 01:18:55,110 We already met at the market. 1273 01:18:55,818 --> 01:18:56,860 That's right. 1274 01:18:57,652 --> 01:18:59,318 Life's full of surprises. 1275 01:19:01,735 --> 01:19:03,860 Attention issues for the Empress. 1276 01:19:04,693 --> 01:19:07,818 Take the Gauls to the Ku Koos. Secure their support. 1277 01:19:07,985 --> 01:19:11,318 Meanwhile I'll rally our army and followers. 1278 01:19:12,193 --> 01:19:13,360 Miss Tik, come with me. 1279 01:19:14,068 --> 01:19:15,735 I shall honour you, Mother. 1280 01:19:15,902 --> 01:19:16,943 You'll be proud of me. 1281 01:19:18,860 --> 01:19:20,527 I'm already proud of you. 1282 01:19:22,110 --> 01:19:23,360 Let's go, Miss Tik. 1283 01:19:40,902 --> 01:19:42,235 This will end badly. 1284 01:20:05,152 --> 01:20:07,110 Miss Tik has fallen for Obelix. 1285 01:20:09,152 --> 01:20:10,152 Obelix, too. 1286 01:20:12,777 --> 01:20:15,777 I don't like all the falling-for in this adventure. 1287 01:20:16,860 --> 01:20:17,902 So let's go. 1288 01:20:19,360 --> 01:20:20,902 Obelix, come on. 1289 01:20:29,318 --> 01:20:31,943 - What's the wine made from? - Rice. 1290 01:20:33,027 --> 01:20:35,193 Refinement is not your strong suit. 1291 01:20:39,860 --> 01:20:41,943 Got a kick but not all bad. 1292 01:20:42,818 --> 01:20:43,860 It's relaxing. 1293 01:20:44,027 --> 01:20:45,027 Rice wine. 1294 01:20:45,693 --> 01:20:48,985 Maybe take a few amphorae for fight nights with Wifey. 1295 01:20:51,402 --> 01:20:52,443 You see... 1296 01:20:52,610 --> 01:20:54,235 At times like this... 1297 01:20:57,610 --> 01:20:58,777 I miss her. 1298 01:20:59,485 --> 01:21:00,860 What's with the music? 1299 01:21:01,027 --> 01:21:01,860 A full band? 1300 01:21:02,027 --> 01:21:03,402 Four and a singer. 1301 01:21:03,860 --> 01:21:05,652 - You take them everywhere? - Yes. 1302 01:21:05,818 --> 01:21:06,902 It's practical. 1303 01:21:07,902 --> 01:21:10,027 I always have my favourite music. 1304 01:21:11,693 --> 01:21:12,693 Know it? 1305 01:21:12,818 --> 01:21:14,193 Sure, obviously. 1306 01:21:14,943 --> 01:21:17,193 Now that's what I call music. 1307 01:21:18,360 --> 01:21:20,527 None of your ching-chong nonsense. 1308 01:21:34,360 --> 01:21:35,360 Amore! 1309 01:21:36,402 --> 01:21:37,777 What are you doing? 1310 01:21:39,360 --> 01:21:41,693 - I saw my wife. - I'm nobody's wife. 1311 01:21:43,568 --> 01:21:44,402 Know what? 1312 01:21:44,568 --> 01:21:47,068 Your libation brought back the urge. 1313 01:21:49,735 --> 01:21:52,693 I shall become the next Emperor of China. 1314 01:21:53,235 --> 01:21:54,235 Wow... 1315 01:21:54,318 --> 01:21:56,943 Mama Cleo will never get over it. 1316 01:21:57,777 --> 01:22:00,527 Tomorrow at dawn, we go full Ku Koo. 1317 01:22:17,943 --> 01:22:20,235 Slow down. Our exit's coming up. 1318 01:22:20,402 --> 01:22:21,610 Yes, next one. 1319 01:22:23,652 --> 01:22:25,735 Once more, thanks to Obelix, 1320 01:22:25,902 --> 01:22:29,735 our friends beat Caesar's army to the palace of Prince Ku Koo, 1321 01:22:29,902 --> 01:22:31,735 the man in the bamboo mask. 1322 01:22:32,068 --> 01:22:33,152 Keep up. 1323 01:22:37,152 --> 01:22:38,318 I am To Fu. 1324 01:22:38,985 --> 01:22:42,068 Advisor to the prince regent, Ku Koo. 1325 01:22:42,568 --> 01:22:44,068 Can you prove 1326 01:22:44,777 --> 01:22:46,860 you really are Princess Sa See? 1327 01:22:48,068 --> 01:22:50,693 I give my word. I am the Empress's daughter. 1328 01:22:51,068 --> 01:22:54,402 Sadly, your word is not enough. 1329 01:22:55,693 --> 01:22:57,360 You could be a spy. 1330 01:22:57,985 --> 01:22:59,110 In the pay 1331 01:22:59,277 --> 01:23:00,693 of Deng Tsin Quin! 1332 01:23:03,277 --> 01:23:04,277 The coin! 1333 01:23:10,027 --> 01:23:13,485 Will you now bow before your Empress's daughter? 1334 01:23:15,527 --> 01:23:17,610 I apologise profusely, Princess Sa See. 1335 01:23:17,777 --> 01:23:19,402 We must be careful. 1336 01:23:20,193 --> 01:23:22,402 His Highness, the Prince... 1337 01:23:22,568 --> 01:23:23,568 of Ku Koo! 1338 01:23:35,943 --> 01:23:36,943 What the heck? 1339 01:23:37,777 --> 01:23:39,693 Don't turn your back. It's rude! 1340 01:23:39,860 --> 01:23:40,985 In his house. 1341 01:24:03,443 --> 01:24:04,443 Princess Sa See, 1342 01:24:04,568 --> 01:24:07,027 Prince of Ku Koo, with my men, at your service. 1343 01:24:07,193 --> 01:24:09,735 We support your mother, our Empress. 1344 01:24:11,485 --> 01:24:12,485 Thanks. 1345 01:24:13,110 --> 01:24:14,193 Sorry, I'm lost for... 1346 01:24:14,652 --> 01:24:17,068 All my fault. My cursed mane frightens you. 1347 01:24:17,860 --> 01:24:19,652 On the contrary, it suits you. 1348 01:24:21,318 --> 01:24:22,693 Nobody ever said that. 1349 01:24:22,860 --> 01:24:24,652 I never wanted to say it. 1350 01:24:40,110 --> 01:24:42,193 That's love at first look. 1351 01:24:42,360 --> 01:24:44,693 Whole weeks of work for nothing. 1352 01:24:48,068 --> 01:24:49,443 Back to the friend zone. 1353 01:24:50,818 --> 01:24:51,860 Let's go. 1354 01:24:53,318 --> 01:24:55,027 We have a country to save. 1355 01:25:08,860 --> 01:25:11,318 Gotta be cuckoo to build a palace in a hollow. 1356 01:25:11,485 --> 01:25:12,652 No way out. 1357 01:25:13,152 --> 01:25:15,402 Cornered by Caesar. It will be brief. 1358 01:25:19,110 --> 01:25:20,360 Here we go again. 1359 01:25:20,527 --> 01:25:21,693 Blah-blah time. 1360 01:25:33,527 --> 01:25:35,360 I am Princess Sa See. 1361 01:25:35,527 --> 01:25:37,777 Submit to the sole Empress of China. 1362 01:25:39,902 --> 01:25:40,943 Sa See darling, 1363 01:25:41,110 --> 01:25:42,610 we can marry at last. 1364 01:25:42,777 --> 01:25:46,110 Don't bet on it. You'll regret your acts, Deng Tsin Quin. 1365 01:25:47,027 --> 01:25:49,818 - She's no pushover. - Can't lie, sparks aren't flying. 1366 01:25:49,985 --> 01:25:52,318 I have a question for you. 1367 01:25:53,568 --> 01:25:54,568 How many? 1368 01:25:55,152 --> 01:25:56,318 Ten thousand. 1369 01:25:56,485 --> 01:25:59,943 Because we are 80,000-strong! 1370 01:26:06,193 --> 01:26:09,277 That's experience for you. Not boasting, I've never lost. 1371 01:26:09,443 --> 01:26:10,443 You're wonderful. 1372 01:26:10,568 --> 01:26:12,027 You miscounted, Princess. 1373 01:26:12,193 --> 01:26:13,693 Ten thousand plus two. 1374 01:26:13,860 --> 01:26:15,068 If you still need me. 1375 01:26:15,235 --> 01:26:16,318 Peek-a-boo, Julius! 1376 01:26:16,485 --> 01:26:17,610 It's us! 1377 01:26:17,777 --> 01:26:18,777 The crazies! 1378 01:26:18,902 --> 01:26:19,735 Not plus two. 1379 01:26:19,902 --> 01:26:20,985 Plus three! 1380 01:26:21,777 --> 01:26:23,235 The man in the bamboo mask. 1381 01:26:25,193 --> 01:26:26,027 Gross! 1382 01:26:26,193 --> 01:26:27,902 Poor guy's blond! 1383 01:26:28,068 --> 01:26:29,068 It's not too bad. 1384 01:26:29,152 --> 01:26:30,610 Not plus three. Plus four! 1385 01:26:31,360 --> 01:26:32,485 I'm the man 1386 01:26:33,277 --> 01:26:34,360 with feather feet! 1387 01:26:34,527 --> 01:26:35,652 What is this? 1388 01:26:42,193 --> 01:26:44,568 Why talk when you can run? 1389 01:26:57,027 --> 01:26:59,193 He didn't warm up. The chump! 1390 01:26:59,443 --> 01:27:00,985 - Did I say charge? - No. 1391 01:27:03,927 --> 01:27:04,968 Substitute! 1392 01:27:09,093 --> 01:27:10,552 Antivirus! 1393 01:27:47,427 --> 01:27:49,302 Asterix, I'll have a drop. 1394 01:27:49,885 --> 01:27:50,927 Not enough for 4. 1395 01:27:51,260 --> 01:27:52,260 "Not enough for 4!" 1396 01:27:55,968 --> 01:27:57,260 The cheats! 1397 01:27:57,427 --> 01:27:58,427 Won't help them. 1398 01:28:00,052 --> 01:28:01,635 Charge! 1399 01:28:19,135 --> 01:28:20,135 Yes? 1400 01:28:20,677 --> 01:28:21,677 Of course. 1401 01:29:11,385 --> 01:29:12,385 Help me. 1402 01:29:12,885 --> 01:29:13,885 Pipe down. 1403 01:29:14,052 --> 01:29:15,260 You've got gall. 1404 01:29:15,593 --> 01:29:16,343 Gall... 1405 01:29:16,510 --> 01:29:17,510 Gaul! 1406 01:29:30,260 --> 01:29:31,635 Can I join in? 1407 01:29:32,135 --> 01:29:33,135 Yeah, sure. 1408 01:29:33,385 --> 01:29:34,385 Archers! 1409 01:29:35,135 --> 01:29:36,135 Prepare! 1410 01:29:36,635 --> 01:29:37,635 Draw! 1411 01:29:38,177 --> 01:29:39,177 Loose! 1412 01:29:40,635 --> 01:29:42,843 Deng Tsin Quin, Emperor of China! 1413 01:29:45,802 --> 01:29:46,802 Arrows! 1414 01:30:01,593 --> 01:30:02,802 You can't be serious. 1415 01:30:03,218 --> 01:30:04,260 Don't judge me. 1416 01:30:06,927 --> 01:30:07,927 I feel it. 1417 01:30:09,093 --> 01:30:10,552 I feel it rising. 1418 01:30:13,718 --> 01:30:14,843 It's insane! 1419 01:30:16,302 --> 01:30:17,302 That's it? 1420 01:30:21,093 --> 01:30:22,427 No way! It's a joke. 1421 01:30:32,427 --> 01:30:33,552 I smell victory. 1422 01:30:35,302 --> 01:30:36,510 A particular scent? 1423 01:30:37,760 --> 01:30:39,843 Do readers care for such details? 1424 01:30:40,010 --> 01:30:41,260 It sets the scene. 1425 01:30:43,093 --> 01:30:44,718 The scent of laurels. 1426 01:30:45,135 --> 01:30:46,177 Excellent! 1427 01:31:09,927 --> 01:31:10,635 Thanks. 1428 01:31:10,802 --> 01:31:11,885 You're welcome. 1429 01:31:15,302 --> 01:31:17,135 We fell out but I can help out. 1430 01:31:17,802 --> 01:31:18,552 Sure. 1431 01:31:18,718 --> 01:31:20,218 I'm on your side. 1432 01:31:21,260 --> 01:31:22,260 Sure. 1433 01:31:23,635 --> 01:31:25,177 You'll always be my chum. 1434 01:31:28,343 --> 01:31:29,343 Sure. 1435 01:31:30,510 --> 01:31:31,802 Sorry, Obelix. 1436 01:31:56,677 --> 01:31:57,677 Stop! 1437 01:32:12,343 --> 01:32:13,593 Before I die... 1438 01:32:15,010 --> 01:32:16,718 I must tell you, Princess... 1439 01:32:42,843 --> 01:32:43,843 Look! 1440 01:32:45,385 --> 01:32:47,135 Just when all seems lost, 1441 01:32:47,677 --> 01:32:49,343 the Empress arrives, 1442 01:32:49,510 --> 01:32:52,218 followed by her army and entire people. 1443 01:32:52,552 --> 01:32:53,843 They are all there, 1444 01:32:54,010 --> 01:32:57,468 marching across the middle kingdom 1445 01:32:57,635 --> 01:32:59,677 to the scene of the final battle. 1446 01:33:17,052 --> 01:33:18,885 - What on earth is this? - Not sure. 1447 01:33:19,052 --> 01:33:21,468 Suddenly, I can't smell the laurels. 1448 01:33:22,010 --> 01:33:23,343 Pine boxes maybe. 1449 01:33:32,343 --> 01:33:33,843 I am Empress of China. 1450 01:33:34,010 --> 01:33:36,468 I order you to leave my empire forthwith. 1451 01:33:37,552 --> 01:33:38,677 Never! 1452 01:33:39,177 --> 01:33:41,260 She has a temper. Reminds me of someone. 1453 01:33:43,260 --> 01:33:44,385 Your Majesty! 1454 01:33:45,260 --> 01:33:47,510 Rather than ruin everything in anger, 1455 01:33:47,677 --> 01:33:50,260 perhaps we could envisage a sort of alliance. 1456 01:33:50,635 --> 01:33:53,135 When the cloud conceals the sun, 1457 01:33:53,302 --> 01:33:55,593 my army will reduce you to dust. 1458 01:33:56,468 --> 01:33:57,635 What's that? 1459 01:33:58,177 --> 01:33:59,177 A local proverb? 1460 01:33:59,260 --> 01:34:01,885 No, it's literal. It's happening. 1461 01:34:07,593 --> 01:34:08,802 How many of you? 1462 01:34:08,968 --> 01:34:10,093 He's at it again. 1463 01:34:10,760 --> 01:34:11,760 One 1464 01:34:12,218 --> 01:34:13,218 million! 1465 01:34:16,093 --> 01:34:17,177 Game changer. 1466 01:34:18,927 --> 01:34:21,052 I'll be going. I'm not from here. 1467 01:34:21,218 --> 01:34:23,385 I'll be in Rome. Keep me posted. 1468 01:34:24,177 --> 01:34:25,260 Don't desert us. 1469 01:34:25,427 --> 01:34:26,802 There's a million of them. 1470 01:34:27,593 --> 01:34:28,802 It's not my war. 1471 01:34:34,385 --> 01:34:35,677 I can't go like this. 1472 01:34:38,802 --> 01:34:39,802 Rear up! 1473 01:34:51,343 --> 01:34:52,385 Got your message! 1474 01:34:52,552 --> 01:34:55,427 Say goodbye to my little pyramid! Cleopatra 1475 01:34:56,927 --> 01:34:58,385 It's been a tough day. 1476 01:34:59,218 --> 01:35:00,218 A tough day. 1477 01:35:39,510 --> 01:35:40,927 That feels good. 1478 01:35:42,427 --> 01:35:44,427 Here we are, back in Gaul. 1479 01:35:44,927 --> 01:35:47,510 Not only for our friends' customary banquet. 1480 01:35:48,218 --> 01:35:52,093 But also to celebrate Gaul and China. 1481 01:35:55,385 --> 01:35:58,052 And now the Empress will speak. 1482 01:36:00,093 --> 01:36:01,135 Valiant Gauls! 1483 01:36:02,302 --> 01:36:04,260 You have my eternal gratitude. 1484 01:36:04,843 --> 01:36:06,968 It was an honour, Your Majesty. 1485 01:36:07,635 --> 01:36:09,302 I insisted we come to help. 1486 01:36:10,802 --> 01:36:12,552 We made this long journey 1487 01:36:12,718 --> 01:36:14,593 to celebrate a beautiful alliance. 1488 01:36:23,385 --> 01:36:24,843 That's my cousin Remix. 1489 01:36:25,468 --> 01:36:27,260 A specialist in world music. 1490 01:36:28,093 --> 01:36:29,218 He's my cousin. 1491 01:36:29,385 --> 01:36:31,552 Mine. Not yours, mine! 1492 01:37:18,260 --> 01:37:20,677 We have a lot in common, you and I. 1493 01:37:20,843 --> 01:37:21,885 We're chiefs. 1494 01:37:22,052 --> 01:37:24,510 I always think power isolates you from people. 1495 01:37:24,677 --> 01:37:26,177 Don't you agree? 1496 01:37:28,302 --> 01:37:30,093 And I'm not done. 1497 01:37:30,260 --> 01:37:32,427 And behind every great man 1498 01:37:32,593 --> 01:37:33,635 is a great woman. 1499 01:37:33,802 --> 01:37:36,718 Without Impedimenta, I'm nothing. At home, she holds the shield. 1500 01:37:36,885 --> 01:37:39,468 I'm not disturbing you? You're having a good day? 1501 01:37:40,927 --> 01:37:41,927 We'll talk at home. 1502 01:37:43,510 --> 01:37:44,510 Mimenta! 1503 01:37:45,052 --> 01:37:47,593 Excuse me, minor marital contretemps. 1504 01:37:51,260 --> 01:37:53,385 I thought he'd never leave. 1505 01:37:54,552 --> 01:37:57,677 You know, when you left the cell, I kept my head... 1506 01:37:59,260 --> 01:38:00,343 However... 1507 01:38:00,927 --> 01:38:02,093 I lost my heart. 1508 01:38:02,885 --> 01:38:04,010 Now, now. 1509 01:38:04,510 --> 01:38:07,093 Well then, where's my little heart? 1510 01:38:09,718 --> 01:38:10,760 Bankruptis, look. 1511 01:38:11,260 --> 01:38:13,093 Uncle didn't nod off in prison. 1512 01:38:14,052 --> 01:38:15,093 Classy! 1513 01:38:21,968 --> 01:38:22,968 One more plate. 1514 01:38:23,052 --> 01:38:25,010 No, a dish. A big dish! Share? 1515 01:38:26,052 --> 01:38:27,052 I won't crack. 1516 01:38:27,093 --> 01:38:28,093 Silly me. 1517 01:38:29,385 --> 01:38:30,843 Still don't miss it? 1518 01:38:31,302 --> 01:38:32,677 Not at all. 1519 01:38:32,927 --> 01:38:34,093 Honestly... 1520 01:38:34,427 --> 01:38:35,552 the smell is vile. 1521 01:38:36,885 --> 01:38:38,760 There are still triggers, though. 1522 01:38:39,760 --> 01:38:41,968 Drink an ale and it becomes tricky. 1523 01:38:43,510 --> 01:38:44,510 Hi, Obelix. 1524 01:38:45,177 --> 01:38:46,177 Panacea. 1525 01:38:47,052 --> 01:38:48,052 I'm interrupting? 1526 01:38:48,968 --> 01:38:50,260 I can see I am. 1527 01:38:50,927 --> 01:38:52,052 You ignore me now. 1528 01:38:53,552 --> 01:38:54,677 Are the rumours true? 1529 01:38:55,052 --> 01:38:56,135 You and Miss Tik? 1530 01:38:57,177 --> 01:38:58,177 Seriously? 1531 01:38:58,218 --> 01:39:00,218 Long-distance relationships don't work. 1532 01:39:00,385 --> 01:39:03,135 Honestly, her there, you here... And I'm here. 1533 01:39:03,760 --> 01:39:06,427 Waiting for you for months, worried sick, 1534 01:39:06,593 --> 01:39:08,010 and you fall in love? 1535 01:39:08,885 --> 01:39:10,010 Don't you love me? 1536 01:39:10,968 --> 01:39:12,302 Is that a yes or a no? 1537 01:39:12,635 --> 01:39:13,760 You wanted me. 1538 01:39:14,260 --> 01:39:15,385 Is it a yes or a no? 1539 01:39:15,760 --> 01:39:17,427 - I forget you? - Say yes! 1540 01:39:17,593 --> 01:39:18,677 Panacea... 1541 01:39:19,843 --> 01:39:20,843 Don't bother. 1542 01:39:21,177 --> 01:39:24,093 You know the village thrives on new adventures. 1543 01:39:25,385 --> 01:39:27,427 It's time for me to do the same. 1544 01:39:27,593 --> 01:39:28,593 Nothing personal. 1545 01:39:29,677 --> 01:39:30,677 Excuse me... 1546 01:39:31,510 --> 01:39:32,510 You're nuts. 1547 01:39:34,552 --> 01:39:35,552 But I'd... 1548 01:41:59,343 --> 01:42:00,510 Good, wasn't it? 1549 01:42:00,802 --> 01:42:02,552 Everyone had a great time. 1550 01:42:04,302 --> 01:42:05,510 Yes, a fine feast. 1551 01:42:08,418 --> 01:42:10,585 So Miss Tik has gone home? 1552 01:42:10,918 --> 01:42:12,543 Sure. It's a long ride. 1553 01:42:14,627 --> 01:42:16,168 She said I'm her true love. 1554 01:42:17,418 --> 01:42:18,418 Did she? 1555 01:42:19,127 --> 01:42:20,127 Wonderful. 1556 01:42:21,085 --> 01:42:22,168 Even so... 1557 01:42:22,752 --> 01:42:23,752 she didn't stay? 1558 01:42:23,835 --> 01:42:25,585 She'd have loved to but... 1559 01:42:26,043 --> 01:42:29,252 Too much work in China, lots of responsibility at the palace. 1560 01:42:30,168 --> 01:42:32,002 But there's time, we'll meet again. 1561 01:42:32,335 --> 01:42:33,335 As grown-ups. 1562 01:42:34,293 --> 01:42:35,293 As grown-ups? 1563 01:42:35,543 --> 01:42:36,543 Yes. 1564 01:42:39,002 --> 01:42:40,627 Tired. I'm going to bed. 1565 01:42:46,210 --> 01:42:47,460 One for the road? 1566 01:42:47,835 --> 01:42:49,377 I wouldn't say no. 1567 01:42:58,918 --> 01:42:59,918 My chum! 1568 01:43:09,043 --> 01:43:10,418 You're strangling me! 1569 01:43:15,752 --> 01:43:16,752 THE END 1570 01:43:16,918 --> 01:43:19,293 For René Goscinny & Albert Uderzo 1571 01:44:18,752 --> 01:44:20,543 You don't want me to sing? 1572 01:44:25,085 --> 01:44:26,502 I'm gonna sing anyway 1573 01:44:28,668 --> 01:44:30,377 You don't want me to sing? 1574 01:44:32,168 --> 01:44:33,877 You don't want me to sing 1575 01:44:34,252 --> 01:44:35,377 The surprise! 1576 01:44:35,543 --> 01:44:37,127 - What surprise? - Hold on. 1577 01:44:39,835 --> 01:44:42,627 So what is it? My voice or just me? 1578 01:44:42,793 --> 01:44:45,210 So is it me or my voice? 1579 01:44:46,377 --> 01:44:49,168 So is my voice not right? It's what you don't like? 1580 01:44:49,335 --> 01:44:50,960 Or is it just me? 1581 01:44:51,752 --> 01:44:54,418 Tell me what's wrong Always something wrong 1582 01:44:55,752 --> 01:44:57,418 Don't do this, don't do that 1583 01:44:57,585 --> 01:45:00,252 Is it my lyrics or my voice I don't get it 1584 01:45:00,418 --> 01:45:03,210 Don't call me paranoid You're all against me 1585 01:45:28,252 --> 01:45:29,585 Caesar said, 1586 01:45:30,002 --> 01:45:32,085 "I want it gleaming when I get back." 1587 01:45:32,835 --> 01:45:33,918 So buff! 1588 01:45:34,752 --> 01:45:35,960 Buff, buff, buff! 1589 01:45:38,418 --> 01:45:39,627 That's the spirit! 1590 01:45:42,918 --> 01:45:44,210 You keep Gaul. 1591 01:45:44,377 --> 01:45:46,335 I take China, rest of the world. 1592 01:45:46,502 --> 01:45:47,668 It'll go gangbusters. 1593 01:45:47,835 --> 01:45:50,002 Take it or leave it right now. 1594 01:45:50,502 --> 01:45:52,127 What might go gangbusters? 1595 01:45:52,293 --> 01:45:54,002 - I didn't say that. - Sure you did. 1596 01:45:54,168 --> 01:45:55,793 Top-notch merchants like me, 1597 01:45:55,960 --> 01:45:58,585 we read your lips even 5 km away. 1598 01:45:58,752 --> 01:46:00,543 - Why'd you say that? - I didn't! 1599 01:46:00,710 --> 01:46:02,668 - You did. - I'll lash out! 1600 01:46:05,002 --> 01:46:07,793 You know, duckie, your Julius is no lost cause. 1601 01:46:07,960 --> 01:46:10,293 So just send him a message, 1602 01:46:10,460 --> 01:46:13,418 "I'd go above and beyond, I'd dye my hair blond..." 1603 01:46:13,585 --> 01:46:16,127 It's in the bag. The rascal will be back. 1604 01:46:17,168 --> 01:46:20,043 You're right. Why did I ever flip my headdress? 1605 01:46:23,002 --> 01:46:25,793 Flat out. You got a pigeon charger? 1606 01:46:26,418 --> 01:46:28,418 Sit tight, I'll find you one. 1607 01:46:29,710 --> 01:46:31,502 With an Egyptian connector! 1608 01:46:32,127 --> 01:46:33,127 Why Egyptian? 1609 01:46:45,002 --> 01:46:47,252 Are you done making a ruckus? 1610 01:46:47,835 --> 01:46:49,502 We're trying to sleep! 1611 01:46:55,127 --> 01:46:56,127 Sorry. 1612 01:47:00,335 --> 01:47:01,793 Goodnight! 1613 01:47:01,960 --> 01:47:04,085 Goodnight, little Gauls! 99852

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