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1
00:00:59,892 --> 00:01:02,350
ASTERIX
& THE MIDDLE KINGDOM
2
00:01:04,808 --> 00:01:06,767
The year is 50 BC.
3
00:01:07,350 --> 00:01:09,683
All of Gaul
is under Roman occupation.
4
00:01:10,017 --> 00:01:11,017
All of it?
5
00:01:11,392 --> 00:01:12,392
No!
6
00:01:12,475 --> 00:01:14,850
One village of indomitable Gauls
7
00:01:15,017 --> 00:01:18,100
keeps up the good fight
against the invader.
8
00:01:18,267 --> 00:01:21,767
And life is not easy
for the Roman legionaries
9
00:01:21,933 --> 00:01:27,100
in their camps at Totorum,
Aquarium, Laudanum and Compendium.
10
00:01:29,933 --> 00:01:32,683
What I love in life
11
00:01:32,850 --> 00:01:35,850
Is wandering day and night
12
00:01:36,017 --> 00:01:38,475
In the forest what's really fun
13
00:01:38,642 --> 00:01:41,683
Is going for a wander with my chum
14
00:01:41,850 --> 00:01:42,933
It rhymes.
15
00:01:43,392 --> 00:01:45,350
Obelix, our lifestyle isn't healthy.
16
00:01:46,392 --> 00:01:47,558
Too much meat.
17
00:01:48,808 --> 00:01:50,267
- Too much meat?
- Sure.
18
00:01:50,433 --> 00:01:52,558
Wild boar
for breakfast, lunch and dinner.
19
00:01:52,725 --> 00:01:53,808
Supper, too!
20
00:01:53,975 --> 00:01:55,558
Not to mention ale.
21
00:01:55,892 --> 00:01:57,642
It can't be good for us.
22
00:01:57,808 --> 00:01:59,558
What else is there to eat?
23
00:01:59,725 --> 00:02:03,350
I don't know.
We could try balancing it out with...
24
00:02:03,808 --> 00:02:04,850
vegetables.
25
00:02:06,517 --> 00:02:07,517
Veg...
26
00:02:07,683 --> 00:02:08,850
Vegetables?
27
00:02:14,433 --> 00:02:16,600
You make me laugh, Asterix.
28
00:02:17,600 --> 00:02:18,725
Hear him, Dogmatix?
29
00:02:19,433 --> 00:02:22,183
Imagine chewing a stick of celery,
not a bone!
30
00:02:22,350 --> 00:02:23,350
Vegetables!
31
00:02:23,975 --> 00:02:25,058
You can laugh.
32
00:02:25,517 --> 00:02:29,142
I honestly don't see the point
of ruining our health.
33
00:02:29,475 --> 00:02:31,142
Same with the magic potion.
34
00:02:31,600 --> 00:02:33,808
Could be, it's bad for our systems.
35
00:02:33,975 --> 00:02:36,142
Where's the data, honestly? Where?
36
00:02:36,600 --> 00:02:38,725
Above all, do we really need it?
37
00:02:41,308 --> 00:02:42,100
You okay?
38
00:02:42,267 --> 00:02:43,350
No, I'm not okay.
39
00:02:43,558 --> 00:02:46,642
I'm just saying,
throwing in a mixed salad, mushrooms...
40
00:02:46,808 --> 00:02:49,600
Chestnuts!
When they're in season, obviously.
41
00:02:55,350 --> 00:02:58,308
You snagged one already.
Leave the poor things alone.
42
00:03:06,225 --> 00:03:07,767
Peek-a-boo, loopy loolas!
43
00:03:11,100 --> 00:03:11,808
Ave!
44
00:03:11,975 --> 00:03:14,933
Sorry, we're lost.
Who knew we're so near the village?
45
00:03:15,100 --> 00:03:17,017
Me. I kept telling you.
46
00:03:17,933 --> 00:03:18,975
- Didn't.
- Did.
47
00:03:19,142 --> 00:03:21,475
And you said, "To hell with the Gauls!
48
00:03:21,642 --> 00:03:23,017
"They get up my nose.
49
00:03:23,183 --> 00:03:25,308
"They can shove their menhirs."
50
00:03:26,558 --> 00:03:27,808
I'm a terrible liar.
51
00:03:29,308 --> 00:03:30,517
Leave this to me.
52
00:03:31,475 --> 00:03:33,558
I'll show you I don't need this.
53
00:03:36,142 --> 00:03:37,517
Strength is here.
54
00:03:37,975 --> 00:03:38,975
And here.
55
00:03:39,725 --> 00:03:42,308
Take a seat, sit tight
and enjoy the show.
56
00:03:46,058 --> 00:03:47,058
Hello.
57
00:03:52,350 --> 00:03:54,392
Stupid helmet! I blame the helmet.
58
00:03:54,558 --> 00:03:55,850
You plan to step in?
59
00:03:56,308 --> 00:03:57,433
No, not allowed.
60
00:04:06,767 --> 00:04:07,767
Help me, silly!
61
00:04:07,892 --> 00:04:08,892
Harder!
62
00:04:27,142 --> 00:04:28,142
Not fair!
63
00:04:29,892 --> 00:04:30,892
Cheat!
64
00:04:31,475 --> 00:04:34,392
Not at all. Without it, same result.
65
00:04:41,183 --> 00:04:42,475
You don't have to.
66
00:04:43,767 --> 00:04:44,767
I do.
67
00:05:26,433 --> 00:05:27,725
Where is everyone?
68
00:05:28,308 --> 00:05:29,475
It's hardly fresh.
69
00:05:30,100 --> 00:05:31,225
- And you are?
- What?
70
00:05:31,392 --> 00:05:32,433
No, nothing.
71
00:05:32,767 --> 00:05:35,850
Getafix, he won't let me smoke
my boar in the house.
72
00:05:36,017 --> 00:05:39,100
Just because
Mr Asterix has decided to quit
73
00:05:39,267 --> 00:05:40,517
doesn't mean I have to.
74
00:05:40,683 --> 00:05:41,808
Panacea!
75
00:05:42,517 --> 00:05:43,517
Panacea!
76
00:05:44,975 --> 00:05:46,058
Morning, girls.
77
00:05:46,642 --> 00:05:48,225
- Coming to the market?
- Yes!
78
00:05:51,183 --> 00:05:52,225
Hi, Panacea.
79
00:05:52,392 --> 00:05:53,392
Hi, Obelix.
80
00:05:55,767 --> 00:05:57,225
I just wanted to say...
81
00:05:58,975 --> 00:06:01,975
I carved this menhir thinking of you.
It's a gift.
82
00:06:02,683 --> 00:06:04,558
Sweet, but what use is it to me?
83
00:06:08,767 --> 00:06:09,767
See you.
84
00:06:12,267 --> 00:06:13,392
She refused it.
85
00:06:14,308 --> 00:06:15,475
She refused my menhir.
86
00:06:15,642 --> 00:06:17,892
Obviously. It weighs a ton.
87
00:06:18,058 --> 00:06:20,350
What use is it?
Put it on her finger?
88
00:06:20,517 --> 00:06:21,517
Getafix, your sickle.
89
00:06:21,683 --> 00:06:23,058
Thanks, Fulliautomatix.
90
00:06:23,225 --> 00:06:24,225
Slow down.
91
00:06:26,975 --> 00:06:27,975
Say...
92
00:06:32,017 --> 00:06:34,725
Asterix has the right
to change his diet.
93
00:06:35,017 --> 00:06:36,183
Not everyone else's.
94
00:06:37,142 --> 00:06:38,433
Getafix, what's wrong?
95
00:06:42,142 --> 00:06:42,933
I'm sinking.
96
00:06:43,100 --> 00:06:44,100
You're sinking?
97
00:06:44,225 --> 00:06:45,642
It must be quicksand.
98
00:06:45,808 --> 00:06:48,308
There is no quicksand in the region.
99
00:06:49,017 --> 00:06:51,058
If you ask me, someone needs to know.
100
00:06:51,975 --> 00:06:53,017
Chariot ahoy!
101
00:06:53,725 --> 00:06:55,475
Chariot ahoy!
102
00:06:58,808 --> 00:06:59,808
Excuse me.
103
00:07:00,808 --> 00:07:04,308
Some nights,
my voice just wants to scream
104
00:07:04,642 --> 00:07:06,058
Shut it, will you!
105
00:07:12,267 --> 00:07:14,267
For once, I had a customer.
106
00:07:14,433 --> 00:07:16,100
For once, you have fresh fish!
107
00:07:16,267 --> 00:07:18,308
What? My fish isn't fresh?
108
00:07:25,642 --> 00:07:26,683
I'll take a look.
109
00:07:49,767 --> 00:07:53,058
For Louise and Marcel \N \N
110
00:07:53,558 --> 00:07:54,558
Hold still.
111
00:07:54,642 --> 00:07:57,225
Bankruptis, already here?
It's not autumn.
112
00:07:57,392 --> 00:07:58,392
You were hit?
113
00:07:58,433 --> 00:08:01,350
- Where's your uncle?
- Quiet, for goodness' sake!
114
00:08:01,683 --> 00:08:03,558
My friends, how are you?
115
00:08:03,975 --> 00:08:06,433
I come from China to ask for help.
116
00:08:07,142 --> 00:08:08,142
It's nuts!
117
00:08:08,433 --> 00:08:09,475
Why are you blond?
118
00:08:09,642 --> 00:08:10,683
I was going to say.
119
00:08:10,850 --> 00:08:13,225
I'm a Gaul, all right?
Always have been.
120
00:08:13,392 --> 00:08:14,892
Please... No slip-ups.
121
00:08:15,058 --> 00:08:16,767
No slip-ups, I'm begging you.
122
00:08:16,933 --> 00:08:17,975
I'll explain. Come on.
123
00:08:29,100 --> 00:08:30,100
That one...
124
00:08:30,558 --> 00:08:31,975
The beautiful girl fast asleep
125
00:08:32,142 --> 00:08:33,350
is a princess.
126
00:08:33,517 --> 00:08:36,600
Named Sa See.
Daughter of the Empress of China.
127
00:08:39,017 --> 00:08:40,642
You do know where China is?
128
00:08:43,308 --> 00:08:44,933
- Two princesses!
- Actually, no.
129
00:08:45,100 --> 00:08:46,975
That's her bodyguard. Miss Tik.
130
00:08:47,642 --> 00:08:50,767
Believe me, she's insane.
Smashed everyone on the way.
131
00:08:50,933 --> 00:08:53,767
She smashed Scythians,
smashed Parthians, smashed Huns!
132
00:08:54,475 --> 00:08:55,850
A beautiful woman.
133
00:08:56,100 --> 00:08:58,558
A female bodyguard?
Don't make me laugh!
134
00:08:58,725 --> 00:09:00,058
Go ahead, laugh.
135
00:09:00,475 --> 00:09:03,558
Share with us
your Alpha male experience.
136
00:09:04,725 --> 00:09:06,767
Alpha male, just try to touch her.
137
00:09:07,225 --> 00:09:08,767
- Be my guest.
- All right.
138
00:09:14,850 --> 00:09:15,975
There you go!
139
00:09:40,725 --> 00:09:42,058
You drank potion?
140
00:09:42,683 --> 00:09:43,683
No.
141
00:09:44,392 --> 00:09:45,475
I don't get it.
142
00:09:45,683 --> 00:09:47,600
I get what's going on.
143
00:09:48,350 --> 00:09:50,642
And you'd better stop right now.
144
00:09:50,808 --> 00:09:53,933
Princess and I
are more than friends, see?
145
00:09:54,642 --> 00:09:55,767
- You are?
- We are.
146
00:09:56,350 --> 00:09:57,350
Princess...
147
00:10:00,350 --> 00:10:01,767
We have arrived.
148
00:10:05,392 --> 00:10:06,558
What is all this?
149
00:10:07,308 --> 00:10:09,350
- It's the chief!
- Run!
150
00:10:09,892 --> 00:10:12,475
Vitalstatistix
is chief of all us Gauls.
151
00:10:14,392 --> 00:10:16,100
Glad to see you, by Toutatis!
152
00:10:16,892 --> 00:10:19,892
Where's your Uncle Ekonomikrisis?
His silk scarves are too small.
153
00:10:20,058 --> 00:10:21,183
Really?
154
00:10:21,350 --> 00:10:23,558
He said they'd loosen up. I look loose?
155
00:10:23,725 --> 00:10:24,892
- No.
- He's a crook!
156
00:10:26,058 --> 00:10:27,892
He sent me. Let me explain.
157
00:10:28,392 --> 00:10:30,850
Allow me to introduce Princess Sa See,
158
00:10:31,017 --> 00:10:33,475
daughter of the Empress of China.
159
00:10:35,600 --> 00:10:36,933
Who's she?
160
00:10:37,142 --> 00:10:38,808
- Thanks, Bankruptis.
- You're welcome.
161
00:10:39,183 --> 00:10:42,933
Great Chief Vitalstatistix,
let me explain the reasons for my visit.
162
00:10:43,267 --> 00:10:44,850
Getafix, is China far?
163
00:10:45,142 --> 00:10:47,892
Yes, it's where the sun rises. That way.
164
00:10:54,142 --> 00:10:57,308
Since the Princess's story
could be very, very long,
165
00:10:57,475 --> 00:10:59,142
and not devoid of emotion,
166
00:10:59,308 --> 00:11:02,308
allow me to give you a potted version.
167
00:11:02,475 --> 00:11:05,100
The Princess lives with her mother,
the Empress,
168
00:11:05,267 --> 00:11:08,433
who reigns with difficulty,
since her husband's death,
169
00:11:08,600 --> 00:11:10,183
over her nation's six kingdoms.
170
00:11:10,350 --> 00:11:15,058
Beloved by her people, the Empress
is confronted by ambitious princes,
171
00:11:15,225 --> 00:11:17,392
who secretly covet her throne.
172
00:11:18,600 --> 00:11:22,142
The trouble began
on the birthday of Princess Sa See,
173
00:11:22,308 --> 00:11:24,058
whom you met in the village.
174
00:11:24,225 --> 00:11:25,767
So this is a flashback.
175
00:11:30,475 --> 00:11:31,725
Another vase?
176
00:11:33,642 --> 00:11:36,642
Each year, same deal.
Who's interested in Chinese vases?
177
00:11:36,808 --> 00:11:40,767
I'm 20 today, and never left this palace.
Just gardens and guards!
178
00:11:40,933 --> 00:11:42,933
Sa See, for your security, you know...
179
00:11:43,100 --> 00:11:47,475
Father promised to take me to Lutetia.
Its shops, its taverns...
180
00:11:47,642 --> 00:11:49,058
I want to see Gaul.
181
00:11:49,558 --> 00:11:52,892
We discussed this.
It's dangerous to travel so far.
182
00:11:53,058 --> 00:11:54,183
The answer is no.
183
00:11:55,600 --> 00:11:57,100
Here, open this one.
184
00:11:58,892 --> 00:12:02,017
It's a coin with your head on it.
Newly minted.
185
00:12:02,683 --> 00:12:04,100
To buy a dress in Lutetia?
186
00:12:05,183 --> 00:12:06,183
Sa See!
187
00:12:13,308 --> 00:12:14,767
Prince Deng Tsin Quin...
188
00:12:18,017 --> 00:12:20,850
I hear you raised taxes again
in your kingdom,
189
00:12:21,017 --> 00:12:22,725
while your people endures famine.
190
00:12:22,892 --> 00:12:24,475
If I may, Your Majesty,
191
00:12:24,642 --> 00:12:28,517
Julius Caesar levied taxes
across the Roman world, and it works!
192
00:12:28,683 --> 00:12:31,183
No pain, no pleasure,
as they say back home.
193
00:12:31,558 --> 00:12:32,558
Who is he?
194
00:12:32,683 --> 00:12:35,433
Pu Nee, my new strategic advisor.
195
00:12:35,600 --> 00:12:38,517
In Rome,
he wielded power and influence.
196
00:12:39,100 --> 00:12:42,475
Put the Chinese people
before bad Roman advice.
197
00:12:43,058 --> 00:12:45,433
Naturally, Your Imperial Majesty.
198
00:12:46,433 --> 00:12:47,475
Before I leave,
199
00:12:47,642 --> 00:12:50,267
have you considered
my marriage proposal?
200
00:12:50,558 --> 00:12:51,975
I spoke with Princess Sa See.
201
00:12:52,142 --> 00:12:53,142
And?
202
00:12:53,850 --> 00:12:55,058
It made us laugh.
203
00:12:58,100 --> 00:12:59,725
Make a woman laugh and...
204
00:13:01,808 --> 00:13:02,808
Sorry.
205
00:13:03,225 --> 00:13:05,975
If it made Your Majesty
and her daughter laugh,
206
00:13:06,142 --> 00:13:07,433
then so be it.
207
00:13:13,683 --> 00:13:14,683
Miss Tik...
208
00:13:18,017 --> 00:13:19,475
My faithful warrior,
209
00:13:20,017 --> 00:13:21,308
fetch my daughter.
210
00:13:44,975 --> 00:13:46,433
This is China.
211
00:13:47,017 --> 00:13:50,142
The Chinese love all things Gaul,
so we're Gauls. Simple.
212
00:13:50,308 --> 00:13:52,683
For a Phoenecian,
it's humiliating, Ekonomikrisis.
213
00:13:53,975 --> 00:13:55,058
Ekonomikrisix!
214
00:13:55,225 --> 00:13:57,183
Get it into your head!
215
00:13:57,350 --> 00:13:59,767
You guys are Premix and Overmix.
216
00:14:00,183 --> 00:14:01,433
We are Gauls.
217
00:14:01,600 --> 00:14:02,600
Gotix?
218
00:14:02,642 --> 00:14:04,850
As usual, we make all the efforts.
219
00:14:05,142 --> 00:14:06,142
Only you?
220
00:14:09,267 --> 00:14:09,850
Laugh?
221
00:14:10,017 --> 00:14:10,808
You're laughing?
222
00:14:10,975 --> 00:14:13,142
Am I laughing about going blond?
223
00:14:13,850 --> 00:14:16,308
Grab those papyri
and hit the streets. Move!
224
00:14:16,475 --> 00:14:18,433
Go,
yalla! I mean, let's go.
225
00:14:18,600 --> 00:14:20,433
Put those helmets on! There!
226
00:14:20,933 --> 00:14:22,017
Let's go!
227
00:14:22,183 --> 00:14:23,433
China is ours!
228
00:14:25,100 --> 00:14:26,142
No snooping.
229
00:14:26,767 --> 00:14:28,142
You need help?
230
00:14:28,308 --> 00:14:29,725
Touch it, buy it. Golden rule.
231
00:14:30,642 --> 00:14:31,933
They're genuine Louboutix?
232
00:14:32,392 --> 00:14:33,600
"They're genuine Louboutix?"
233
00:14:33,767 --> 00:14:36,308
Of course they are. Look at the sole!
234
00:14:36,475 --> 00:14:40,225
As red as the price tag.
If you can't afford them, try Diskountos.
235
00:14:42,017 --> 00:14:44,475
Give my stall some space. Scram!
236
00:14:45,933 --> 00:14:47,058
You nincompoop!
237
00:14:47,933 --> 00:14:49,308
Sorry, Her Majesty.
238
00:14:49,475 --> 00:14:50,933
Sorry for my nephew.
239
00:14:51,100 --> 00:14:53,642
He has his mother's temper.
240
00:14:53,808 --> 00:14:55,267
True, everybody says so.
241
00:14:55,558 --> 00:14:58,100
Of course, for you,
sandals are on the house.
242
00:14:58,267 --> 00:15:00,350
I'll take them out of his wages.
243
00:15:00,517 --> 00:15:02,517
- That hurt.
- Yup. Your fault.
244
00:15:02,683 --> 00:15:04,683
Ekonomikrisix, at your service.
245
00:15:05,350 --> 00:15:07,058
No one shakes hands here.
246
00:15:07,225 --> 00:15:08,767
- No one.
- Not one.
247
00:15:08,933 --> 00:15:11,767
A most regrettable mistake, Princess.
248
00:15:12,558 --> 00:15:13,558
Gorgeous.
249
00:15:15,975 --> 00:15:17,517
Bankruptix, the nephew.
250
00:15:18,058 --> 00:15:19,767
I have my mother's temper.
251
00:15:19,933 --> 00:15:20,933
As well as...
252
00:15:21,683 --> 00:15:22,683
her eyes.
253
00:15:25,600 --> 00:15:27,142
I envy you your blond hair.
254
00:15:27,850 --> 00:15:31,017
I had no choice, Princess.
I was born this way.
255
00:15:31,183 --> 00:15:32,808
Nature decided for me.
256
00:15:33,183 --> 00:15:34,725
Your Imperial Majesty,
257
00:15:35,225 --> 00:15:40,142
if you'd care to forgive us
and taste our famous nectar from Gaul,
258
00:15:40,308 --> 00:15:41,475
the honour's all ours.
259
00:15:42,642 --> 00:15:43,642
Come in.
260
00:15:44,767 --> 00:15:45,808
A great vintage.
261
00:15:45,975 --> 00:15:49,017
To celebrate
the great and majestic empress.
262
00:15:50,475 --> 00:15:52,183
On the nose, fruity notes.
263
00:15:52,725 --> 00:15:53,808
There's sunshine.
264
00:15:54,767 --> 00:15:56,183
There's pine and shade.
265
00:15:56,350 --> 00:15:58,350
I'm getting hints of chestnut.
266
00:15:58,517 --> 00:15:59,600
Bananas.
267
00:16:00,017 --> 00:16:01,017
And dates.
268
00:16:01,392 --> 00:16:04,392
Overall, more fruit salad than wine.
269
00:16:08,767 --> 00:16:10,058
I want Gaul of it
270
00:16:19,642 --> 00:16:20,642
I'll take the lot.
271
00:16:24,142 --> 00:16:25,267
Perfumes from Gaul?
272
00:16:25,433 --> 00:16:27,225
But of course, Princess.
273
00:16:27,392 --> 00:16:29,183
All our perfumes come from Gaul.
274
00:16:29,350 --> 00:16:30,933
Like me and my sales team.
275
00:16:32,183 --> 00:16:33,850
This is the latest creation
276
00:16:34,017 --> 00:16:35,933
that every Gaul lady would die for.
277
00:16:36,100 --> 00:16:37,100
Amphor.
278
00:16:37,183 --> 00:16:38,183
Amphor?
279
00:16:38,850 --> 00:16:39,892
I adore!
280
00:16:40,058 --> 00:16:41,225
I adore, too.
281
00:16:41,392 --> 00:16:42,600
Archers! Loose!
282
00:16:42,767 --> 00:16:43,767
Watch out!
283
00:16:51,683 --> 00:16:53,058
Sa See, are you hurt?
284
00:16:53,225 --> 00:16:54,475
No, mother, I'm fine.
285
00:16:54,642 --> 00:16:55,642
Anything broken?
286
00:16:55,683 --> 00:16:57,183
No, I'm fine.
287
00:16:57,350 --> 00:16:58,558
I meant the stock.
288
00:16:58,933 --> 00:16:59,642
Nice.
289
00:16:59,808 --> 00:17:01,058
Hey, Empress!
290
00:17:01,225 --> 00:17:02,392
Come out, hands up!
291
00:17:02,725 --> 00:17:04,642
And no one will get hurt.
292
00:17:05,183 --> 00:17:06,225
You're encircled.
293
00:17:06,392 --> 00:17:07,600
And slanted!
294
00:17:09,850 --> 00:17:12,558
You said "encircled",
like eyes with makeup.
295
00:17:12,725 --> 00:17:14,100
And I added "And..."
296
00:17:18,433 --> 00:17:19,517
There's another exit?
297
00:17:19,683 --> 00:17:21,183
Yes. My secret passage.
298
00:17:21,350 --> 00:17:23,100
In case customs raid...
299
00:17:23,267 --> 00:17:24,892
I mean, in case of fire.
300
00:17:25,350 --> 00:17:26,600
It's the fire escape.
301
00:17:27,517 --> 00:17:29,683
Miss Tik, take my daughter and go.
302
00:17:29,850 --> 00:17:31,517
No, mother. Flee with us.
303
00:17:31,683 --> 00:17:33,642
The Empress of China does not flee. Go!
304
00:17:33,808 --> 00:17:35,350
The traitor wants you.
305
00:17:35,808 --> 00:17:36,808
Let's go.
306
00:17:38,267 --> 00:17:39,725
- Bye, Princess.
- Stop it!
307
00:17:39,892 --> 00:17:42,933
I'll stay. A good merchant
never abandons his merchandise.
308
00:17:43,100 --> 00:17:44,433
Like a ship's captain.
309
00:17:46,475 --> 00:17:47,767
Go home and fetch the others.
310
00:17:47,933 --> 00:17:49,142
What? Uncle Mahmood?
311
00:17:49,308 --> 00:17:50,975
No! Our other home.
312
00:17:51,142 --> 00:17:52,308
- That home?
- That home!
313
00:17:52,475 --> 00:17:53,475
It's miles away!
314
00:17:53,558 --> 00:17:54,558
So get going!
315
00:17:55,725 --> 00:17:56,725
No, wait!
316
00:17:57,308 --> 00:17:58,933
Take good care of the princess.
317
00:17:59,100 --> 00:18:00,517
We are not losing this sale.
318
00:18:00,683 --> 00:18:04,058
Just imagine.
You're saving the Princess of China.
319
00:18:11,642 --> 00:18:12,975
I'll work it out later.
320
00:18:13,142 --> 00:18:14,225
Take care, unc!
321
00:18:19,267 --> 00:18:21,308
I trained in Phoenician boxing.
322
00:18:21,475 --> 00:18:22,475
Leave this to me.
323
00:18:23,433 --> 00:18:25,683
So you guys are harassing the ladies?
324
00:18:31,200 --> 00:18:33,075
I went in there and...
325
00:18:34,242 --> 00:18:35,325
What happened?
326
00:18:35,492 --> 00:18:37,200
You got kicked in the head.
327
00:18:37,867 --> 00:18:39,575
All right, I get it now.
328
00:18:39,742 --> 00:18:41,658
So who's laughing now, Empress?
329
00:18:41,825 --> 00:18:43,867
Excuse me a second, who are you?
330
00:18:44,033 --> 00:18:47,200
I don't get any of this.
I'm confused, totally lost.
331
00:18:48,283 --> 00:18:50,200
- Well?
- The Princess has vanished.
332
00:18:50,367 --> 00:18:52,825
If she's hiding, she's a smart cookie!
333
00:18:53,283 --> 00:18:55,200
A shifty little fish!
334
00:18:56,408 --> 00:18:57,408
Scour the kingdom!
335
00:18:57,533 --> 00:18:58,908
Offer a handsome reward!
336
00:18:59,075 --> 00:19:02,200
I want her alive
at our magnificent forced marriage!
337
00:19:04,783 --> 00:19:06,200
I know my daughter.
338
00:19:06,533 --> 00:19:07,908
She'll come for revenge.
339
00:19:08,075 --> 00:19:11,117
Scary!
A spoilt little girl who never left home.
340
00:19:11,283 --> 00:19:13,325
- That's my wife you're talking about.
- Sorry.
341
00:19:13,492 --> 00:19:17,325
I'm sorry too.
I'm so confused, totally lost!
342
00:19:17,492 --> 00:19:19,325
I'll have you beheaded, Empress.
343
00:19:19,492 --> 00:19:22,325
No, there'll be no beheading.
It's rude, sir.
344
00:19:22,492 --> 00:19:25,117
Yes, Deng Tsin Quin,
you can't kill the Empress.
345
00:19:25,575 --> 00:19:26,575
What?
346
00:19:26,658 --> 00:19:29,700
It's tricky.
The other 4 kingdoms' princes hate you.
347
00:19:29,867 --> 00:19:32,242
They claim you're not Emperor material.
348
00:19:32,408 --> 00:19:35,492
They say you are
"physically unbecoming with a tiny..."
349
00:19:35,658 --> 00:19:37,450
- Nonsense.
- No, army!
350
00:19:37,742 --> 00:19:40,075
A tiny army.
The tiniest of all of them.
351
00:19:40,242 --> 00:19:41,992
In combat, it's hopeless.
352
00:19:42,158 --> 00:19:44,742
Your impudence suggests you have a plan.
353
00:19:45,075 --> 00:19:46,075
Naturally.
354
00:19:46,700 --> 00:19:47,700
My idea...
355
00:19:50,242 --> 00:19:51,950
Take them away!
Let's go!
356
00:19:52,117 --> 00:19:53,200
Take it easy!
357
00:19:53,367 --> 00:19:56,033
Easy! Mind the Empress
and my wares.
358
00:19:56,408 --> 00:19:57,742
China is ours!
359
00:20:29,992 --> 00:20:31,492
Princess, it'll be fine.
360
00:20:31,658 --> 00:20:32,658
I'm here for you.
361
00:20:33,575 --> 00:20:34,575
I'm here.
362
00:20:36,950 --> 00:20:38,408
Don't worry. We'll help you.
363
00:20:38,867 --> 00:20:42,117
Everyone knows that we Gauls
just love to help.
364
00:20:42,283 --> 00:20:43,283
No!
365
00:20:45,617 --> 00:20:46,658
Not a chance.
366
00:20:47,242 --> 00:20:49,450
Was it just me
or did her story drag on?
367
00:20:50,908 --> 00:20:54,908
By Benelos, how come folks
always come asking us for help?
368
00:20:55,617 --> 00:20:56,908
Vitalstatistix,
369
00:20:57,075 --> 00:20:58,283
it's a tradition
370
00:20:58,450 --> 00:21:00,450
for us to help those in need.
371
00:21:01,033 --> 00:21:03,075
Not forgetting Bankrup...
372
00:21:03,867 --> 00:21:04,867
Tis.
373
00:21:05,075 --> 00:21:06,075
Bankruptix.
374
00:21:06,658 --> 00:21:08,033
The answer's no. There!
375
00:21:08,200 --> 00:21:09,533
It's often been yes.
376
00:21:09,742 --> 00:21:10,742
But it's no.
377
00:21:11,200 --> 00:21:12,575
I'm not feeling it.
378
00:21:12,742 --> 00:21:14,075
China's unknown to us.
379
00:21:14,242 --> 00:21:15,825
We don't know where it is.
380
00:21:15,992 --> 00:21:16,783
Sure we do.
381
00:21:16,950 --> 00:21:17,950
Even I know.
382
00:21:18,450 --> 00:21:21,033
It's the way where the sun rises.
383
00:21:21,825 --> 00:21:23,117
Stumped him.
384
00:21:23,617 --> 00:21:25,242
I don't know and I decide.
385
00:21:25,408 --> 00:21:27,283
Great Chief, I respect your decision.
386
00:21:27,450 --> 00:21:29,825
I depart to save my mother and country.
387
00:21:30,242 --> 00:21:31,242
Princess!
388
00:21:33,908 --> 00:21:35,117
I'm up for it.
389
00:21:35,658 --> 00:21:38,367
And anyway, I'm free right now.
390
00:21:39,575 --> 00:21:40,867
I'm free too.
391
00:21:41,325 --> 00:21:42,617
I want to go too.
392
00:21:42,783 --> 00:21:44,783
You two! Who's in the chair?
393
00:21:46,158 --> 00:21:47,825
You're chief now?
394
00:21:48,117 --> 00:21:49,908
Discussion over. It's no.
395
00:21:50,075 --> 00:21:51,950
Are you out of your mind?
396
00:21:52,825 --> 00:21:54,367
Some village chief!
397
00:21:54,742 --> 00:21:56,575
Ignoring a damsel's tears.
398
00:21:56,867 --> 00:21:58,575
- Mimenta...
- Don't Mimenta me!
399
00:21:58,950 --> 00:22:01,450
- Welcome our Chinese friends!
- Yup.
400
00:22:01,867 --> 00:22:03,075
You and your Gaul!
401
00:22:03,700 --> 00:22:05,325
All because it's too far?
402
00:22:05,492 --> 00:22:07,200
As if you'd be going!
403
00:22:08,658 --> 00:22:10,992
No, it's Asterix and Obelix, as usual.
404
00:22:12,658 --> 00:22:14,908
If some idiot
writes our history one day,
405
00:22:15,075 --> 00:22:18,367
the title will never be
The Adventures of Vitalstatistix the Gaul.
406
00:22:18,533 --> 00:22:20,158
Dogmatix travels more than you.
407
00:22:21,033 --> 00:22:22,117
Hear that, Dogmatix?
408
00:22:24,950 --> 00:22:26,075
Stones fired!
409
00:22:26,242 --> 00:22:29,492
Magic potion for the boys
in the village, you're in.
410
00:22:29,658 --> 00:22:31,992
But anything more delicate, you're out?
411
00:22:41,242 --> 00:22:42,242
All right, go.
412
00:22:45,325 --> 00:22:47,033
Thank you. Heartfelt thanks.
413
00:22:47,867 --> 00:22:51,325
So you're starting on a journey
414
00:22:52,200 --> 00:22:54,408
So we're parting tonight
415
00:22:56,200 --> 00:22:57,742
My heart has turned to...
416
00:22:58,200 --> 00:22:59,200
jelly
417
00:23:07,450 --> 00:23:11,325
Meanwhile, in the eternal,
beautifully irrigated city of Rome,
418
00:23:11,492 --> 00:23:14,450
Julius Caesar,
in his magnificent palace,
419
00:23:14,617 --> 00:23:17,908
lives in domestic bliss
with the powerful Queen of Egypt,
420
00:23:18,075 --> 00:23:20,533
sublime, dulcet Cleopatra.
421
00:23:20,700 --> 00:23:22,200
I've had it up to here!
422
00:23:22,367 --> 00:23:25,117
Know what? I've had it up to here!
423
00:23:30,450 --> 00:23:31,867
May I ask what you're doing?
424
00:23:32,033 --> 00:23:34,367
Packing my trunks and heading home.
425
00:23:34,533 --> 00:23:36,533
Why didn't I listen to Mummy?
426
00:23:37,658 --> 00:23:40,450
Now it's over, I can tell you.
There's another man.
427
00:23:40,867 --> 00:23:41,908
What do you mean?
428
00:23:43,617 --> 00:23:45,033
You can't be serious.
429
00:23:46,367 --> 00:23:48,450
What do you mean, another man?
430
00:23:49,117 --> 00:23:51,783
What is this? Infidelitatis?
431
00:23:51,950 --> 00:23:52,950
Nailed it.
432
00:23:54,908 --> 00:23:55,908
And...
433
00:23:57,367 --> 00:24:00,200
May I ask
for whom you leave mighty Caesar?
434
00:24:01,658 --> 00:24:02,783
Tabascos!
435
00:24:04,283 --> 00:24:04,950
Tabascos?
436
00:24:05,117 --> 00:24:06,117
The Greek?
437
00:24:09,783 --> 00:24:11,658
Tabascos the Greek!
438
00:24:12,117 --> 00:24:14,742
So you'd leave mighty Caesar
439
00:24:16,367 --> 00:24:18,283
to shack up with a gym teacher?
440
00:24:19,950 --> 00:24:22,742
Well, we'll discuss this
after the lions.
441
00:24:23,742 --> 00:24:25,700
I forbid you to harm him.
442
00:24:26,742 --> 00:24:28,283
I love him, you hear?
443
00:24:29,075 --> 00:24:30,075
You love him?
444
00:24:31,492 --> 00:24:32,617
You love him?
445
00:24:34,242 --> 00:24:35,867
What's he got that I don't?
446
00:24:36,117 --> 00:24:37,742
He's an international gymnast.
447
00:24:37,908 --> 00:24:40,367
Outside Rome and Gaul,
you're a complete unknown.
448
00:24:42,533 --> 00:24:44,617
A complete unknown? Julius Caesar?
449
00:24:45,283 --> 00:24:48,992
Fine. You have international ambitions?
Go with your athlete.
450
00:24:49,325 --> 00:24:51,658
Let the Greek tsat your ziki! \N \N \N
451
00:24:53,408 --> 00:24:55,158
May I, O Caesar?
452
00:24:55,325 --> 00:24:57,992
Minor marital contretemps. All settled.
453
00:24:58,825 --> 00:25:02,742
Speak, Slius Foxxus,
devious and unsightly advisor of mine.
454
00:25:02,908 --> 00:25:03,658
Ave, Caesar!
455
00:25:03,825 --> 00:25:06,575
Your perspicacity captures me perfectly.
456
00:25:14,825 --> 00:25:16,575
May I introduce Pu Nee,
457
00:25:16,742 --> 00:25:21,075
envoy of Prince Deng Tsin Quin,
the new master of China.
458
00:25:21,242 --> 00:25:24,700
How does an empire so big
have an advisor so small?
459
00:25:25,492 --> 00:25:28,033
Size doesn't matter, skill does, Caesar.
460
00:25:28,200 --> 00:25:29,825
Some men have neither.
461
00:25:33,283 --> 00:25:34,408
She's a looker.
462
00:25:34,783 --> 00:25:35,867
Well, half-pint?
463
00:25:36,242 --> 00:25:39,575
I come to offer you
the riches of my adopted land
464
00:25:39,742 --> 00:25:42,117
in return for modest military support.
465
00:25:42,492 --> 00:25:45,742
Your land? Even great Alexander
abandoned the conquest of China.
466
00:25:45,908 --> 00:25:50,325
A great opportunity to expand my empire.
Your empire, O Caesar!
467
00:25:50,492 --> 00:25:51,992
I have conquered enough.
468
00:25:52,158 --> 00:25:55,408
My name will go down
in the annals of history.
469
00:25:55,575 --> 00:25:58,075
I love when you say that. Love it!
470
00:25:58,242 --> 00:26:00,450
What a way with words. Right?
471
00:26:00,783 --> 00:26:03,033
Biopix, my Gallician biographer.
472
00:26:03,408 --> 00:26:06,700
How inspiring is the fabulous tale
of almighty Caesar!
473
00:26:06,867 --> 00:26:08,158
Vade retro, both of you.
474
00:26:08,325 --> 00:26:09,825
Caesar, may I point out,
475
00:26:09,992 --> 00:26:11,950
in terms of going down in history,
476
00:26:12,117 --> 00:26:14,200
in China, you are unknown.
477
00:26:14,617 --> 00:26:15,825
What was I saying?
478
00:26:17,492 --> 00:26:19,033
That's quite enough!
479
00:26:20,533 --> 00:26:22,950
I, Julius Caesar,
man of a thousand conquests?
480
00:26:23,117 --> 00:26:24,325
Unknown?
481
00:26:24,700 --> 00:26:25,700
Alas!
482
00:26:37,283 --> 00:26:38,742
He speaks the truth.
483
00:26:38,908 --> 00:26:40,033
In China, at least.
484
00:26:40,450 --> 00:26:42,575
It's all good, don't worry.
485
00:26:43,283 --> 00:26:46,533
Pu Nee, step forward
to discuss our alliance
486
00:26:47,033 --> 00:26:48,033
with your land
487
00:26:48,200 --> 00:26:50,367
that will soon know my name!
488
00:26:52,742 --> 00:26:56,158
Explain clearly.
Be sure not to toss Caesar a salad.
489
00:27:00,533 --> 00:27:02,950
I swapped your clunker
for something tougher.
490
00:27:03,117 --> 00:27:06,283
That's what I call a chariot. Unbeatable!
On loan from cousin Turbo.
491
00:27:06,783 --> 00:27:08,242
I added boar stomachs.
492
00:27:09,450 --> 00:27:11,825
A kind of air cushion to absorb shocks.
493
00:27:13,033 --> 00:27:14,117
The sunroof!
494
00:27:15,450 --> 00:27:16,533
You know what?
495
00:27:16,700 --> 00:27:18,200
I made a perfect chariot.
496
00:27:18,575 --> 00:27:19,575
Magnificent.
497
00:27:23,950 --> 00:27:24,950
Let's go!
498
00:27:26,450 --> 00:27:28,492
Princess, if you'd care to board.
499
00:27:32,783 --> 00:27:33,783
Too bad.
500
00:27:35,450 --> 00:27:36,783
We'll have a great trip.
501
00:27:38,700 --> 00:27:41,992
Asterix, I made you
a flask of magic potion,
502
00:27:42,158 --> 00:27:45,367
but Obelix tells me you don't need it,
so I...
503
00:27:45,783 --> 00:27:47,242
No, that's fine.
504
00:27:50,158 --> 00:27:51,283
But just in case.
505
00:27:52,950 --> 00:27:54,200
I'm cutting down.
506
00:27:54,367 --> 00:27:56,658
Watch out, I beefed it up.
507
00:28:02,825 --> 00:28:03,867
You had some?
508
00:28:05,158 --> 00:28:06,783
No, just a quick taste.
509
00:28:07,117 --> 00:28:08,158
Just to see.
510
00:28:10,908 --> 00:28:12,158
Good luck, Princess.
511
00:28:12,908 --> 00:28:13,950
As for you two,
512
00:28:14,325 --> 00:28:16,158
be brave, reckless
513
00:28:16,325 --> 00:28:18,742
and disingenuous. In a word...
514
00:28:19,242 --> 00:28:20,242
Be Gauls!
515
00:28:22,367 --> 00:28:23,492
Hold on tight.
516
00:28:23,867 --> 00:28:26,700
It'll be much faster
than on the way here.
517
00:28:29,450 --> 00:28:31,783
Sorry but can I just point out,
518
00:28:32,492 --> 00:28:36,367
the bard's role is to celebrate heroes
and their exploits?
519
00:28:37,908 --> 00:28:40,075
If I never travel, what am I?
520
00:28:41,617 --> 00:28:42,617
Excellent idea.
521
00:28:43,450 --> 00:28:44,950
Cacophonix will go with...
522
00:28:50,033 --> 00:28:51,575
They forgot me.
523
00:28:52,408 --> 00:28:55,325
They forgot me!
524
00:29:00,950 --> 00:29:04,200
And so, at high speed,
our friends head south,
525
00:29:04,367 --> 00:29:07,783
favouring the maritime route that,
according to Getafix,
526
00:29:07,950 --> 00:29:09,867
is faster than the Silk Road.
527
00:29:10,742 --> 00:29:13,242
Having rowed across the Mediterranean,
528
00:29:13,408 --> 00:29:14,617
thanks to Obelix,
529
00:29:14,783 --> 00:29:16,867
they reach northern Africa.
530
00:29:23,533 --> 00:29:24,950
Rub and wring.
531
00:29:25,450 --> 00:29:27,408
Miss Tik, I asked to learn kung fu.
532
00:29:30,325 --> 00:29:31,450
Rub...
533
00:29:32,492 --> 00:29:33,658
and wring.
534
00:29:40,617 --> 00:29:41,825
No, not again.
535
00:29:43,408 --> 00:29:45,242
All good? Enjoying the show?
536
00:29:45,408 --> 00:29:48,117
Want a beer? A chair?
Coming right up.
537
00:29:49,242 --> 00:29:51,783
Not coming up! What are you doing?
538
00:29:51,950 --> 00:29:52,950
Same as you.
539
00:29:53,408 --> 00:29:54,742
She knows you peep?
540
00:29:54,908 --> 00:29:56,200
I might tell her.
541
00:29:59,950 --> 00:30:00,950
Sublime!
542
00:30:01,658 --> 00:30:03,408
She's learning to do laundry
543
00:30:03,575 --> 00:30:06,992
to prepare for her new, tougher life
in Gaul with me.
544
00:30:07,992 --> 00:30:10,700
A Chinese princess in Gaul?
With those hicks?
545
00:30:10,867 --> 00:30:12,117
Don't make me laugh.
546
00:30:12,325 --> 00:30:15,325
When I say Sa See and I are together,
you turn deaf?
547
00:30:15,492 --> 00:30:18,658
- You're not together.
- We are together. Six months now.
548
00:30:18,825 --> 00:30:19,825
Really?
549
00:30:20,450 --> 00:30:21,575
No way!
550
00:30:21,783 --> 00:30:23,533
My friends, once and for all,
551
00:30:23,700 --> 00:30:26,658
Sa See and I are serious.
It's love. And marriage.
552
00:30:27,908 --> 00:30:29,908
- Congrats, Bankruptis.
- Thank you.
553
00:30:30,075 --> 00:30:31,742
I love weddings. Love them.
554
00:30:31,908 --> 00:30:33,658
- With a banquet?
- Of course.
555
00:30:33,825 --> 00:30:35,992
Know what? You'll be my best man.
556
00:30:36,825 --> 00:30:39,117
Thank you.
I was never anyone's best man.
557
00:30:39,575 --> 00:30:42,075
Can you stop being so gullible?
558
00:30:42,242 --> 00:30:43,408
It gets annoying.
559
00:30:43,700 --> 00:30:46,033
- If they're in love, don't blame me.
- Yup.
560
00:30:46,200 --> 00:30:47,533
They're not in love.
561
00:30:47,700 --> 00:30:50,117
If Sa See isn't with anyone,
she's with no one.
562
00:30:50,450 --> 00:30:51,450
It's on.
563
00:30:51,492 --> 00:30:54,617
I can't wait to see her face
when I tell her...
564
00:30:55,367 --> 00:30:57,533
You're a phony Gaul and fake blonde.
565
00:30:57,700 --> 00:31:01,950
Yeah? Well, I can't wait to see her face
when I tell her your moustache...
566
00:31:02,117 --> 00:31:03,450
What about it?
567
00:31:03,617 --> 00:31:04,742
Your moustache...
568
00:31:05,908 --> 00:31:06,908
sucks.
569
00:31:10,200 --> 00:31:11,200
So lame.
570
00:31:13,950 --> 00:31:14,950
I went too far.
571
00:31:14,992 --> 00:31:16,075
Not the moustache!
572
00:31:16,242 --> 00:31:17,617
I know but he pushes me.
573
00:31:17,783 --> 00:31:19,575
Sure but not the moustache!
574
00:31:20,575 --> 00:31:21,575
What's he doing?
575
00:31:22,117 --> 00:31:24,450
Unbelievable! He's snitching on us!
576
00:31:24,825 --> 00:31:26,575
He's something else, your friend!
577
00:31:26,742 --> 00:31:27,908
She's coming our way.
578
00:31:30,408 --> 00:31:31,408
What's up?
579
00:31:31,575 --> 00:31:34,617
Nothing.
We're just looking for a date.
580
00:31:35,742 --> 00:31:36,825
For the wedding.
581
00:31:36,992 --> 00:31:38,617
No, to eat. The fruit!
582
00:31:38,783 --> 00:31:39,783
At the wedding.
583
00:31:39,867 --> 00:31:41,075
No, to eat here.
584
00:31:41,242 --> 00:31:42,450
I'm the best man!
585
00:31:42,783 --> 00:31:45,367
He's impossible. He talks nonsense.
586
00:31:46,825 --> 00:31:47,908
Yes, let's go.
587
00:31:49,950 --> 00:31:52,242
Is it so hard
to let me do the talking?
588
00:31:58,575 --> 00:31:59,742
'Night, Smartypants!
589
00:32:01,325 --> 00:32:02,867
'Night, Two-Faced Friend!
590
00:32:04,492 --> 00:32:05,658
'Night, Veggie Lover!
591
00:32:06,117 --> 00:32:08,908
Veggies are yummy. So yummy!
592
00:32:09,075 --> 00:32:10,617
'Night, Fake Blonde!
593
00:32:11,200 --> 00:32:13,117
Can't you just say goodnight?
594
00:32:14,242 --> 00:32:15,242
It was him.
595
00:32:15,367 --> 00:32:16,533
'Night, Miss Tik.
596
00:32:22,867 --> 00:32:24,908
You think Mother's still alive?
597
00:32:25,367 --> 00:32:28,408
The Empress
is the daughter of the heavens.
598
00:32:28,908 --> 00:32:30,492
No harm can come to her.
599
00:32:33,950 --> 00:32:36,283
'Night, I'm In Love
and can't admit it!
600
00:32:36,617 --> 00:32:40,075
'Night, Poppycock
who's so fat that he's all belly!
601
00:32:40,242 --> 00:32:43,908
'Night, Lonesome Gaul,
so alone like a tiny insect!
602
00:32:44,450 --> 00:32:45,158
Enough!
603
00:32:45,325 --> 00:32:46,033
Yes.
604
00:32:46,200 --> 00:32:47,200
Sorry.
605
00:33:07,367 --> 00:33:09,533
Hello, how are you?
606
00:33:09,992 --> 00:33:11,283
Good trip?
607
00:33:27,158 --> 00:33:30,158
Your daughter's vanished.
We looked too long in a land too big.
608
00:33:30,325 --> 00:33:32,783
Hello perhaps? There's two of us.
609
00:33:33,408 --> 00:33:36,242
When military support arrives,
off with your head.
610
00:33:36,408 --> 00:33:40,658
I remember now.
You're the guy who loves beheading folks.
611
00:33:40,825 --> 00:33:41,825
You too, merchant.
612
00:33:42,367 --> 00:33:45,033
No, leave me out of this.
We really need to...
613
00:33:45,200 --> 00:33:46,492
Balls for you!
614
00:33:51,492 --> 00:33:52,492
Day one.
615
00:33:53,117 --> 00:33:56,242
When no balls are left,
if the princess won't show,
616
00:33:57,867 --> 00:33:58,867
you two...
617
00:34:01,700 --> 00:34:02,742
We have two lives.
618
00:34:02,908 --> 00:34:05,867
The second begins when we see
we have only one.
619
00:34:07,525 --> 00:34:08,525
I thank you.
620
00:34:12,275 --> 00:34:14,150
That's what I call an Empress.
621
00:34:14,775 --> 00:34:15,608
Love it.
622
00:34:15,775 --> 00:34:18,317
We have two lives and it ends when...
623
00:34:18,483 --> 00:34:20,650
The second life begins with...
624
00:34:22,233 --> 00:34:25,067
We have two lives
and when they begin...
625
00:34:25,900 --> 00:34:26,900
I thank you.
626
00:34:33,692 --> 00:34:34,692
Meanwhile,
627
00:34:34,775 --> 00:34:37,567
Caesar, his immense army and Pu Nee
628
00:34:37,733 --> 00:34:41,025
travel the Silk Road,
headed at top speed for China.
629
00:34:41,400 --> 00:34:42,483
Or almost.
630
00:34:44,067 --> 00:34:45,233
This is the Silk Road?
631
00:34:45,400 --> 00:34:47,650
We're lost, aren't we? Just admit it.
632
00:34:48,358 --> 00:34:50,358
Woopsus, what is this route?
633
00:34:50,858 --> 00:34:53,150
At least 9,000 men struck northwards.
634
00:34:53,317 --> 00:34:54,817
I can't work like this.
635
00:34:54,983 --> 00:34:56,358
It's just impossible!
636
00:34:57,150 --> 00:34:58,983
Join the army, they said!
637
00:35:03,192 --> 00:35:05,275
Woopsus, your call, left or right?
638
00:35:05,442 --> 00:35:07,358
Easy-peasy papyrus, Caesar. Left.
639
00:35:07,525 --> 00:35:08,692
So we'll go right.
640
00:35:09,233 --> 00:35:12,192
Sorry, will this go on long?
Left-right, right-left...
641
00:35:12,358 --> 00:35:14,942
We'll reach China on the 12th of Never.
642
00:35:15,483 --> 00:35:16,483
The upstart!
643
00:35:16,567 --> 00:35:18,192
Hail! Risklus, imperial security.
644
00:35:18,942 --> 00:35:20,650
Risklus, imperial security.
645
00:35:23,108 --> 00:35:26,317
Risklus! Everyone knows you here.
Where is Antivirus?
646
00:35:26,733 --> 00:35:28,483
Still on the campaign in Milan.
647
00:35:28,650 --> 00:35:30,483
He's not reading my pigeons.
648
00:35:32,233 --> 00:35:33,400
Caesar, I'm here.
649
00:35:34,400 --> 00:35:37,150
- It's not the same.
- Not at all the same.
650
00:35:37,317 --> 00:35:38,442
What do you want?
651
00:35:38,983 --> 00:35:42,442
Almighty Caesar,
Carioca, head dancer, wants an audience.
652
00:35:42,608 --> 00:35:45,275
She has demands.
For respect or something.
653
00:35:45,442 --> 00:35:46,442
I beat her?
654
00:35:47,067 --> 00:35:48,067
Are you nuts?
655
00:35:48,650 --> 00:35:49,692
Show her in.
656
00:35:53,025 --> 00:35:54,025
Tapioca!
657
00:36:00,483 --> 00:36:02,525
So, Carioca, what do you want?
658
00:36:02,942 --> 00:36:06,483
Caesar, we received new outfits
and what do we see?
659
00:36:06,858 --> 00:36:08,650
Shorter than ever. What a surprise!
660
00:36:10,817 --> 00:36:13,400
If you want go-go taverns,
Rome is full of them.
661
00:36:14,108 --> 00:36:15,442
I'm sure I have no idea.
662
00:36:15,608 --> 00:36:18,108
Sure! The Palladium near the market.
663
00:36:18,275 --> 00:36:19,983
Or there's Sternum, or Scrotum.
664
00:36:20,150 --> 00:36:21,150
Right...
665
00:36:22,150 --> 00:36:25,400
So, what do you want?
Longer outfits for your dancers?
666
00:36:25,567 --> 00:36:26,567
It's a start.
667
00:36:26,608 --> 00:36:30,775
And let's talk
about the role of women in Roman society.
668
00:36:31,025 --> 00:36:33,942
Look closely
and it's all about men here.
669
00:36:34,108 --> 00:36:35,650
Gladiators? Men.
670
00:36:35,817 --> 00:36:37,150
Senators? Men only.
671
00:36:37,317 --> 00:36:38,775
Legionaries? Men only.
672
00:36:38,942 --> 00:36:40,525
Caesars? Men only.
673
00:36:40,983 --> 00:36:42,650
You want a Julia Caesar?
674
00:36:46,483 --> 00:36:48,150
You want Rome run by a woman?
675
00:36:50,608 --> 00:36:51,608
I see.
676
00:36:59,942 --> 00:37:01,608
Back to our friends.
677
00:37:01,775 --> 00:37:06,692
After crossing the Egyptian desert
in sweltering heat,
678
00:37:06,858 --> 00:37:10,567
they reach the Red Sea
and the city of Klysma,
679
00:37:10,733 --> 00:37:14,608
a small Egyptian port,
later known as Suez.
680
00:37:14,775 --> 00:37:16,025
Yes, like the canal.
681
00:37:22,150 --> 00:37:25,817
If we want a captain,
I guarantee we'll find one here.
682
00:37:26,567 --> 00:37:29,275
Look, Asterix,
the tavern's called Little Lutetia.
683
00:37:29,733 --> 00:37:35,858
Dare to come and cast the first stone
684
00:37:39,108 --> 00:37:41,567
To fall for one head over heels
685
00:37:41,733 --> 00:37:43,442
leaves a wound that never heals
686
00:37:43,608 --> 00:37:47,692
But the love you feel is the real deal
687
00:37:50,900 --> 00:37:53,483
So don't be harsh or disapprove
688
00:37:54,150 --> 00:37:56,942
When a woman falls in love
689
00:37:58,942 --> 00:38:01,275
- You don't know it.
- I know it by heart.
690
00:38:01,442 --> 00:38:04,108
With a man who sweeps her off her feet
691
00:38:10,442 --> 00:38:12,067
See? That's Gaul for you!
692
00:38:12,233 --> 00:38:13,567
I love this place.
693
00:38:13,900 --> 00:38:16,067
Exactly how I pictured Lutetia.
694
00:38:18,025 --> 00:38:19,025
Same here.
695
00:38:23,983 --> 00:38:26,358
That's so good! You're a Gaul for sure.
696
00:38:26,733 --> 00:38:28,650
Yes, duckie. Born and bred.
697
00:38:28,900 --> 00:38:31,525
- You've lived here long?
- Donkey's years.
698
00:38:31,692 --> 00:38:33,608
I had a small cabaret in Lutetia.
699
00:38:33,775 --> 00:38:37,567
A hotspot, raking it in,
but I fell for a fella,
700
00:38:37,733 --> 00:38:39,942
a lowlife
who wanted me as his floozy.
701
00:38:40,108 --> 00:38:41,942
And to clean me out!
702
00:38:42,817 --> 00:38:45,275
So who took her dosh
and hightailed it here?
703
00:38:45,442 --> 00:38:47,775
Yours truly. Tipsy, that's me!
704
00:38:48,650 --> 00:38:50,400
What brings you blondies here?
705
00:38:50,775 --> 00:38:52,942
Looking for the best ship's captain.
706
00:38:53,650 --> 00:38:55,025
He's your man. Titanix!
707
00:38:57,192 --> 00:38:58,192
He's reliable?
708
00:38:58,525 --> 00:39:01,275
Titanix is top-notch. Unsinkable!
709
00:39:02,233 --> 00:39:03,567
Thanks for your help, Tipsy.
710
00:39:03,733 --> 00:39:04,942
Anything for a Gaul!
711
00:39:05,983 --> 00:39:07,608
Normally, mutts stay outside.
712
00:39:07,775 --> 00:39:09,275
But you're a real cutie.
713
00:39:15,817 --> 00:39:18,067
We're looking for a boat to China.
714
00:39:18,233 --> 00:39:20,900
China by sea? Too much hassle.
715
00:39:21,775 --> 00:39:23,233
Here's what I got for you...
716
00:39:23,400 --> 00:39:25,067
A quick visit of the coves of Klysma,
717
00:39:25,233 --> 00:39:28,317
all-you-can-eat and swimming,
plus the sunset.
718
00:39:29,400 --> 00:39:30,400
Tasty.
719
00:39:32,025 --> 00:39:33,317
Another time.
720
00:39:33,483 --> 00:39:35,650
This is worth more than your boat.
721
00:39:36,650 --> 00:39:38,192
Why didn't you say so?
722
00:39:38,692 --> 00:39:39,775
So how's it...
723
00:39:39,942 --> 00:39:42,817
You think I'll stand by
and let you extort me?
724
00:39:42,983 --> 00:39:45,442
Get out before I get out my cudgel!
725
00:39:45,983 --> 00:39:48,025
Tipsy's steaming up. Trouble ahoy.
726
00:39:48,192 --> 00:39:49,233
A problem, Tipsy?
727
00:39:49,400 --> 00:39:51,817
These gents want
to dip into my pockets.
728
00:39:51,983 --> 00:39:55,817
They'll get a dose of their own medicine.
Nobody messes with Tipsy.
729
00:39:57,192 --> 00:39:59,400
Lightweights! Fooling with a Gaul.
730
00:39:59,567 --> 00:40:01,442
What do you want with the lady?
731
00:40:02,525 --> 00:40:03,650
You're the lightweight.
732
00:40:09,067 --> 00:40:10,067
Screwy.
733
00:40:10,192 --> 00:40:11,358
Princess, in Gaul,
734
00:40:11,525 --> 00:40:14,108
when heavyweights run their mouths off,
735
00:40:14,983 --> 00:40:17,150
flyweights don't listen.
736
00:40:45,108 --> 00:40:46,108
He's a lizard!
737
00:40:54,108 --> 00:40:55,108
What is this?
738
00:41:06,400 --> 00:41:09,192
A very, very strong batch.
He overdid it.
739
00:41:10,150 --> 00:41:12,150
Give me a drop. No one will know.
740
00:41:12,317 --> 00:41:13,317
No chance.
741
00:41:17,150 --> 00:41:18,775
One's yours. Take your pick.
742
00:41:19,233 --> 00:41:20,775
The big guy, I guess.
743
00:41:23,858 --> 00:41:24,900
Gentlemen...
744
00:41:34,400 --> 00:41:37,858
I'm not allowed it
ever since I fell in as a kid.
745
00:41:38,358 --> 00:41:39,650
So it will hurt less.
746
00:41:58,733 --> 00:42:01,858
Imagine a mini-amphora
with two wings painted on it,
747
00:42:02,025 --> 00:42:03,983
containing a drop of magic potion.
748
00:42:04,150 --> 00:42:05,942
A kind of pick-me-up.
749
00:42:06,317 --> 00:42:08,692
We market it
as an invigorating drink...
750
00:42:08,858 --> 00:42:11,317
I'll come up with a name for it.
751
00:42:11,692 --> 00:42:16,192
In Rome, with all the orgies
and kids dancing through the night,
752
00:42:16,358 --> 00:42:17,525
we'll make a killing.
753
00:42:17,983 --> 00:42:20,400
Count me in. I'll handle transport.
754
00:42:21,733 --> 00:42:22,733
What's that?
755
00:42:22,983 --> 00:42:24,233
It's tai chi.
756
00:42:24,400 --> 00:42:27,233
An ancestral technique
to boost the body's energy.
757
00:42:28,275 --> 00:42:29,942
It's crazy, us meeting now.
758
00:42:30,567 --> 00:42:33,567
My new lifestyle's
so in step with your culture.
759
00:42:34,233 --> 00:42:37,150
Balance, nutrition,
energies, everything!
760
00:42:38,108 --> 00:42:39,608
The two of us are so connected.
761
00:42:45,567 --> 00:42:47,275
- Done?
- Meditation.
762
00:42:47,442 --> 00:42:48,192
Great!
763
00:42:48,358 --> 00:42:49,358
No talking!
764
00:42:55,317 --> 00:42:56,567
It's a fine coin.
765
00:42:59,650 --> 00:43:00,692
That's you?
766
00:43:01,233 --> 00:43:03,525
Yes.
A gift from my mother.
767
00:43:04,733 --> 00:43:05,733
That's real love.
768
00:43:09,192 --> 00:43:10,442
When I received it,
769
00:43:11,358 --> 00:43:12,358
I didn't smile.
770
00:43:13,400 --> 00:43:14,900
Don't worry, Princess.
771
00:43:15,358 --> 00:43:17,067
I'll rescue your mother.
772
00:43:18,025 --> 00:43:19,025
I'm here for you.
773
00:43:20,233 --> 00:43:21,775
Quick correction, sorry.
774
00:43:21,942 --> 00:43:23,317
We are here for you.
775
00:43:23,483 --> 00:43:26,983
Some of us were here for you
from the start of the adventure.
776
00:43:28,025 --> 00:43:29,317
Excuse me.
777
00:43:29,692 --> 00:43:30,733
Princess...
778
00:43:36,525 --> 00:43:37,608
What are you doing?
779
00:43:37,775 --> 00:43:39,400
That was 2 balls!
780
00:43:39,567 --> 00:43:41,233
Put 1 back. That was 2 balls!
781
00:43:41,400 --> 00:43:43,900
Put 1 back.
Don't screw me on the balls.
782
00:43:44,067 --> 00:43:45,567
It's extra jailtime for me.
783
00:43:47,108 --> 00:43:49,233
By the way, did you think over...
784
00:43:50,608 --> 00:43:51,608
my offer?
785
00:43:54,442 --> 00:43:56,150
Playing hard to get.
786
00:43:56,733 --> 00:43:59,275
I'm used to tough negotiations, though.
787
00:43:59,442 --> 00:44:01,067
- Ekonomikrisis...
- Yes?
788
00:44:01,233 --> 00:44:02,900
If we get out one day,
789
00:44:03,275 --> 00:44:06,067
would you like to keep trading in China?
790
00:44:06,817 --> 00:44:08,275
- Sure.
- So shut up.
791
00:44:10,192 --> 00:44:12,358
They put us together to torture me.
792
00:44:13,067 --> 00:44:14,275
Let's not exaggerate.
793
00:44:15,525 --> 00:44:16,858
Perhaps it's...
794
00:44:17,608 --> 00:44:19,317
destiny bringing us together.
795
00:44:19,650 --> 00:44:21,358
Maktub, as they say back home.
796
00:44:22,692 --> 00:44:25,025
You're very beautiful in a temper.
797
00:44:43,942 --> 00:44:44,733
Gents!
798
00:44:44,900 --> 00:44:47,567
Here, on the Red Sea,
no more fatal encounters!
799
00:44:47,942 --> 00:44:50,067
Who are the predators here?
800
00:44:50,233 --> 00:44:51,817
- We are!
- Bang on!
801
00:44:53,442 --> 00:44:55,608
Ship ahoy!
802
00:44:56,775 --> 00:44:57,817
Thanks, lookout!
803
00:44:57,983 --> 00:44:59,192
Just doing my job!
804
00:44:59,608 --> 00:45:01,733
No lavish ship will escape us.
805
00:45:01,900 --> 00:45:03,233
We sleep tonight in silk!
806
00:45:18,525 --> 00:45:19,275
The Gauls?
807
00:45:19,442 --> 00:45:21,692
It's the Gauls!
808
00:45:24,442 --> 00:45:25,608
Peek-a-boo!
809
00:45:26,108 --> 00:45:27,108
Hi, guys!
810
00:45:31,858 --> 00:45:32,942
Not the Gauls!
811
00:45:33,108 --> 00:45:34,108
Why us?
812
00:45:35,525 --> 00:45:36,733
There are other ships.
813
00:45:37,692 --> 00:45:40,067
Morning,
could you pretend not to see us?
814
00:45:40,233 --> 00:45:41,650
But we have seen you.
815
00:45:42,150 --> 00:45:43,150
That's fair.
816
00:45:44,192 --> 00:45:45,192
Prepare our defences!
817
00:45:45,358 --> 00:45:46,358
Let's go!
818
00:45:50,858 --> 00:45:52,775
Freshly painted too!
819
00:45:53,317 --> 00:45:54,650
Watch out now!
820
00:45:59,400 --> 00:46:01,067
Don't think I enjoy it.
821
00:46:02,400 --> 00:46:03,400
No, wait.
822
00:46:04,442 --> 00:46:05,858
Watch some Chinese fighting.
823
00:46:24,317 --> 00:46:25,483
What now, skipper?
824
00:46:26,983 --> 00:46:28,108
I'm not feeling it.
825
00:46:28,275 --> 00:46:30,067
Let's go anyway. Attack!
826
00:46:33,942 --> 00:46:35,108
No, go back!
827
00:46:35,275 --> 00:46:36,733
Michel, go on!
828
00:46:51,150 --> 00:46:52,525
That's gotta hurt.
829
00:47:00,900 --> 00:47:02,108
That's too many feet!
830
00:47:03,567 --> 00:47:04,817
Let me through.
831
00:47:08,567 --> 00:47:09,775
Sorry, skipper.
832
00:47:09,942 --> 00:47:11,067
Where you going?
833
00:47:11,233 --> 00:47:12,775
Going out like a prince.
834
00:47:14,400 --> 00:47:15,608
Behind you!
835
00:47:20,108 --> 00:47:21,817
Cool it, crazywoman!
836
00:48:02,317 --> 00:48:03,317
Comrades,
837
00:48:03,692 --> 00:48:05,775
official reason for us sinking,
838
00:48:05,942 --> 00:48:07,983
we ran into a Chinese tornado.
839
00:48:17,942 --> 00:48:18,942
May I?
840
00:48:19,525 --> 00:48:20,525
Yes.
841
00:48:24,358 --> 00:48:25,358
Beautiful.
842
00:48:26,900 --> 00:48:28,192
I wanted to say,
843
00:48:28,858 --> 00:48:30,358
you fight fabulously.
844
00:48:31,275 --> 00:48:32,275
Thank you.
845
00:48:33,442 --> 00:48:35,733
How come you never use the potion?
846
00:48:35,900 --> 00:48:37,067
I'm not allowed to.
847
00:48:39,025 --> 00:48:41,775
Dangerous, apparently.
One shot too many.
848
00:48:44,442 --> 00:48:47,525
I'd love to feel that kick
just one more time.
849
00:49:37,025 --> 00:49:38,025
Obelix?
850
00:49:40,358 --> 00:49:41,358
Mummy!
851
00:49:46,817 --> 00:49:48,525
The feeling is extraordinary.
852
00:49:48,858 --> 00:49:51,233
Fizzing through your head and body.
A bit like...
853
00:49:51,400 --> 00:49:53,442
falling in love, so I hear.
854
00:50:19,817 --> 00:50:22,567
Having found their way again at last,
855
00:50:22,733 --> 00:50:24,900
Caesar and his powerful army
856
00:50:25,067 --> 00:50:28,233
cross Persia, the mountains of India,
857
00:50:28,400 --> 00:50:29,983
the Mongolian steppes,
858
00:50:30,150 --> 00:50:32,650
and finally reach the gates of China,
859
00:50:32,817 --> 00:50:34,983
where the formidable Deng Tsin Quin
860
00:50:35,150 --> 00:50:37,108
is perfecting his dastardly plan
861
00:50:37,275 --> 00:50:39,317
to conquer all six kingdoms.
862
00:50:46,233 --> 00:50:47,233
Ave!
863
00:50:47,650 --> 00:50:48,692
This is the war?
864
00:50:48,858 --> 00:50:49,858
Prince Deng Tsin Quin,
865
00:50:50,025 --> 00:50:51,483
allow me to introduce...
866
00:50:52,025 --> 00:50:55,567
Julius Caesar himself.
Impressive, I know, but deep breaths
867
00:50:55,733 --> 00:50:57,192
and everything will be fine.
868
00:50:57,775 --> 00:51:00,692
So where are these rebels
you can't keep in check?
869
00:51:00,858 --> 00:51:04,317
War's a full-time job.
Good idea to call in the professionals.
870
00:51:06,358 --> 00:51:07,650
Aren't you overthinking it?
871
00:51:07,817 --> 00:51:09,858
No, simply following Sun Tzu,
872
00:51:10,233 --> 00:51:11,858
the greatest Chinese strategist,
873
00:51:12,025 --> 00:51:13,483
who wrote
The Art of War.
874
00:51:14,233 --> 00:51:15,400
The Fart is Raw?
875
00:51:17,067 --> 00:51:21,025
Anyway, shrimps, keep those eyes open.
We'll make short work of this.
876
00:51:21,692 --> 00:51:22,442
All right...
877
00:51:22,608 --> 00:51:24,448
- If you want peace...
- Prepare for war.
\N
\N
\N
878
00:51:24,483 --> 00:51:25,483
Exactly!
879
00:51:26,775 --> 00:51:27,858
He's hard work.
880
00:51:28,025 --> 00:51:29,025
A maniac.
881
00:51:29,192 --> 00:51:32,317
Mega-pretentious, too.
First decan cancer. The pits.
882
00:51:33,025 --> 00:51:35,650
I had no idea.
I need sleep. Chariot-lag.
883
00:51:39,942 --> 00:51:41,525
Biopix, new chapter.
884
00:51:41,692 --> 00:51:44,233
After
Caesar the Seducer,
885
00:51:44,900 --> 00:51:46,233
Caesar the Strategist.
886
00:51:46,400 --> 00:51:48,900
Hold on, change of scroll
and I'm all yours.
887
00:51:49,067 --> 00:51:50,608
- Helmet!
- Hoofus!
888
00:52:02,275 --> 00:52:03,275
Sword!
889
00:52:06,858 --> 00:52:07,692
What on earth?
890
00:52:07,858 --> 00:52:10,067
- Last time you cut yourself...
- Enough!
891
00:52:11,525 --> 00:52:13,233
Any news of Antivirus?
892
00:52:13,400 --> 00:52:15,400
He's here and ready, almighty Caesar.
893
00:52:15,567 --> 00:52:16,650
All right, let's go!
894
00:52:21,775 --> 00:52:22,775
All together!
895
00:52:26,608 --> 00:52:28,692
- Goose bumps.
- Same here.
896
00:53:48,317 --> 00:53:49,525
Antivirus, I love you!
897
00:54:02,692 --> 00:54:05,442
Antivirus, don't go losing your cool.
898
00:54:05,858 --> 00:54:07,650
Cut the pushing. It hurts.
899
00:54:07,817 --> 00:54:09,400
You wanted Antivirus,
900
00:54:09,817 --> 00:54:11,608
I gave you Antivirus.
901
00:54:11,775 --> 00:54:14,733
Now go back to your chariot races.
902
00:54:17,192 --> 00:54:19,442
Why talk when you can fly.
903
00:54:44,025 --> 00:54:45,650
A walk in the park!
904
00:54:48,150 --> 00:54:49,442
In a few days,
905
00:54:49,608 --> 00:54:51,275
I shall be master of China.
906
00:54:52,358 --> 00:54:56,483
I almost envy you,
getting a first taste of Rome's power.
907
00:54:57,108 --> 00:54:59,358
Veni, vidi, vici.
908
00:55:00,400 --> 00:55:02,608
Caesar, you spoil me.
909
00:55:02,775 --> 00:55:04,567
I've got it word for word.
910
00:55:04,733 --> 00:55:07,150
- Awkward. This is for dinner?
- Yes.
911
00:55:07,317 --> 00:55:09,067
- No sense of hospitality.
- No.
912
00:55:10,233 --> 00:55:11,983
And Antivirus? Not here?
913
00:55:12,358 --> 00:55:13,358
He's sleeping.
914
00:55:13,525 --> 00:55:14,525
Sleeping?
915
00:55:14,608 --> 00:55:15,608
I'm here, Caesar.
916
00:55:15,692 --> 00:55:17,900
- Yes, but it's not the same.
- Not at all.
917
00:55:19,692 --> 00:55:22,192
You have one last kingdom to conquer.
918
00:55:22,358 --> 00:55:23,358
The trickiest.
919
00:55:24,608 --> 00:55:26,483
Our victories echo around the land.
920
00:55:26,650 --> 00:55:28,358
And the Ku Koos never give up.
921
00:55:28,525 --> 00:55:31,317
Fine. Let's see
who's the biggest Ku Koo.
922
00:55:33,400 --> 00:55:36,317
Not laughing.
King So Ku Koo passed this winter.
923
00:55:37,108 --> 00:55:39,858
His son and heir,
Prince of Ku Koo, is 20
924
00:55:40,025 --> 00:55:42,775
and wears a mask
to hide a terrible malformation.
925
00:55:42,942 --> 00:55:44,608
The man in the bamboo mask.
926
00:55:45,108 --> 00:55:45,942
A death
927
00:55:46,108 --> 00:55:49,567
and taking a drubbing from Caesar.
Bad year for the Ku Koos.
928
00:55:50,733 --> 00:55:51,942
By the way...
929
00:55:53,233 --> 00:55:54,775
you seem a bit cuckoo.
930
00:55:55,442 --> 00:55:57,775
No, I'm a Quin. No relation.
931
00:55:57,942 --> 00:55:58,942
I mean...
932
00:56:01,858 --> 00:56:03,275
you're totally cuckoo, right?
933
00:56:09,858 --> 00:56:14,400
Why would you want my help
in ousting you from your own kingdom?
934
00:56:14,650 --> 00:56:16,442
What do you stand to gain,
935
00:56:16,608 --> 00:56:18,608
Deng Tsin Quin?
936
00:56:19,900 --> 00:56:22,067
You plan to give me a Caesarian
937
00:56:22,233 --> 00:56:24,150
after I conquer all the kingdoms?
938
00:56:24,567 --> 00:56:25,567
No.
939
00:56:26,025 --> 00:56:27,275
I'd never do that.
940
00:56:27,775 --> 00:56:28,775
Really?
941
00:56:30,233 --> 00:56:31,233
I would.
942
00:56:31,983 --> 00:56:33,358
At the drop of a hat!
943
00:56:34,900 --> 00:56:35,900
Good one!
944
00:56:37,900 --> 00:56:39,608
Tell me, O Caesar,
945
00:56:40,317 --> 00:56:42,275
did you know that Queen Cleopatra
946
00:56:42,442 --> 00:56:43,983
is highly respected in China?
947
00:56:44,775 --> 00:56:45,775
That's true.
948
00:56:45,858 --> 00:56:49,067
She's done so much
for the conservation of pandas that...
949
00:56:49,692 --> 00:56:51,817
What's she like in real life? Cool?
950
00:57:06,858 --> 00:57:08,400
Home at last.
951
00:57:09,775 --> 00:57:12,650
Can you smell the bamboo,
eucalyptus and ginger?
952
00:57:14,150 --> 00:57:16,233
Don't bother. They have no idea.
953
00:57:16,692 --> 00:57:18,275
I smell them, though.
954
00:57:19,108 --> 00:57:20,150
What sweet scent!
955
00:57:20,692 --> 00:57:21,692
Titanix,
956
00:57:21,858 --> 00:57:23,858
you'll head straight back to Egypt?
957
00:57:24,025 --> 00:57:26,608
No, straight on
till I'm back where I started,
958
00:57:26,775 --> 00:57:28,317
to prove the earth's round.
959
00:57:58,858 --> 00:58:00,900
Didn't I promise you'd be back?
960
00:58:06,483 --> 00:58:09,108
Miss Tik, how will we find
your master here?
961
00:58:09,275 --> 00:58:10,567
He will find us.
962
00:58:28,692 --> 00:58:30,775
- What was the message?
- Nothing.
963
00:58:31,942 --> 00:58:33,400
The bald guy's a friend?
964
00:58:34,858 --> 00:58:36,900
Why not tell me if it's nothing?
965
00:58:38,817 --> 00:58:42,525
Master Sill Lee will come to the inn
where we're staying.
966
00:58:43,692 --> 00:58:45,983
Why all the mystery?
967
00:58:46,150 --> 00:58:47,525
I've lost my appetite now!
968
00:58:50,358 --> 00:58:51,942
He's never like that.
969
00:58:53,400 --> 00:58:57,358
Could be the fatigue,
time difference and culture shock.
970
00:58:57,817 --> 00:58:59,400
Can we talk honestly?
971
00:59:00,025 --> 00:59:03,442
We're hardly bosom buddies.
I hate you, and it feels mutual.
972
00:59:04,692 --> 00:59:06,942
But it's really tense between you two.
973
00:59:07,192 --> 00:59:08,900
The tension's getting to us all.
974
00:59:09,608 --> 00:59:10,900
- It is?
- Yes.
975
00:59:11,817 --> 00:59:13,775
I have an idea for you both
976
00:59:14,275 --> 00:59:17,317
and honestly
it will do you the world of good.
977
00:59:19,983 --> 00:59:21,900
Obelix, we need to talk.
978
00:59:22,442 --> 00:59:23,567
I'm all ears.
979
00:59:23,733 --> 00:59:27,483
You've noticed the Princess and I
have a real good thing going?
980
00:59:29,442 --> 00:59:30,442
For sure.
981
00:59:32,108 --> 00:59:34,317
I think it would be simpler...
982
00:59:35,025 --> 00:59:37,192
if she moved to our village.
983
00:59:37,358 --> 00:59:38,358
All right.
984
00:59:39,275 --> 00:59:40,775
You and I are...
985
00:59:41,192 --> 00:59:43,025
We've lived together for ages.
986
00:59:43,567 --> 00:59:45,567
We never said it was for life.
987
00:59:46,775 --> 00:59:48,192
Seeing as, originally,
988
00:59:48,525 --> 00:59:50,358
it was my parents' hut...
989
00:59:54,400 --> 00:59:56,150
You'd like me to move out?
990
00:59:57,150 --> 00:59:58,150
Yes.
991
01:00:02,317 --> 01:00:03,775
What a relief!
992
01:00:03,942 --> 01:00:07,233
I want to move out
and had no idea how to tell you.
993
01:00:07,858 --> 01:00:08,858
Really?
994
01:00:11,358 --> 01:00:12,650
I'm in love, too.
995
01:00:14,192 --> 01:00:15,233
You're in love?
996
01:00:16,067 --> 01:00:17,692
Beautiful Miss Tik.
997
01:00:21,025 --> 01:00:22,025
Miss Tik?
998
01:00:22,775 --> 01:00:24,108
Our Miss Tik?
999
01:00:24,567 --> 01:00:25,567
Seriously?
1000
01:00:28,150 --> 01:00:29,483
What's so funny?
1001
01:00:30,400 --> 01:00:31,567
I'm just surprised.
1002
01:00:31,733 --> 01:00:32,900
By me falling in love?
1003
01:00:33,608 --> 01:00:34,775
Come on, Oby...
1004
01:00:34,942 --> 01:00:36,150
Don't Oby me.
1005
01:00:36,400 --> 01:00:37,400
No more Oby!
1006
01:00:39,067 --> 01:00:40,067
What's funny?
1007
01:00:40,150 --> 01:00:41,567
I've no right to love?
1008
01:00:42,067 --> 01:00:43,275
No rights at all!
1009
01:00:43,442 --> 01:00:45,233
Nonsense! It's all about you.
1010
01:00:45,400 --> 01:00:46,400
It is not!
1011
01:00:46,525 --> 01:00:47,525
It is!
1012
01:00:48,900 --> 01:00:50,358
No magic potion for Obelix.
1013
01:00:50,525 --> 01:00:51,692
No love for Obelix!
1014
01:00:51,858 --> 01:00:54,817
Poor Obelix!
He can't have any magic potion.
1015
01:00:55,608 --> 01:00:56,608
Poor Obelix!
1016
01:00:56,692 --> 01:00:57,900
Now I'm not allowed
1017
01:00:58,067 --> 01:01:01,317
to roast my wild boar
in my own hut!
1018
01:01:01,900 --> 01:01:04,692
Sorry, not my hut.
Asterix's parents' hut!
1019
01:01:04,858 --> 01:01:05,567
Correct!
1020
01:01:05,733 --> 01:01:07,692
And he wants me to eat fruit and veg!
1021
01:01:07,858 --> 01:01:10,150
Why should we eat fruit and veg?
1022
01:01:10,317 --> 01:01:11,400
For your sake!
1023
01:01:11,733 --> 01:01:12,733
Your health!
1024
01:01:12,817 --> 01:01:14,817
Don't say the word! Don't say it!
1025
01:01:14,983 --> 01:01:16,233
Because you're fat!
1026
01:01:18,692 --> 01:01:20,900
I am curvaceous!
1027
01:01:21,733 --> 01:01:22,900
But at least I'm...
1028
01:01:23,358 --> 01:01:24,525
strong.
1029
01:01:24,692 --> 01:01:26,567
There we go. Thank you!
1030
01:01:26,733 --> 01:01:29,525
You think it's easy
always being weaker?
1031
01:01:29,942 --> 01:01:31,275
Dependent on a flask!
1032
01:01:31,442 --> 01:01:32,692
Serves you right!
1033
01:01:33,108 --> 01:01:34,317
There, I said it!
1034
01:01:36,150 --> 01:01:38,692
Needles work well. Release tensions.
1035
01:01:40,400 --> 01:01:42,442
Speak freely.
1036
01:01:54,775 --> 01:01:56,275
- Romans!
- No, Obelix.
1037
01:01:56,692 --> 01:01:57,692
What now?
1038
01:01:57,858 --> 01:02:00,025
We protect the princess's identity.
1039
01:02:01,150 --> 01:02:02,650
What brings Caesar to China?
1040
01:02:02,983 --> 01:02:05,775
The traitor Deng Tsin Quin
has sold us out.
1041
01:02:08,192 --> 01:02:09,692
News flash!
1042
01:02:10,442 --> 01:02:11,650
People of China,
1043
01:02:11,983 --> 01:02:14,442
Prince Deng Tsin Quin
and Julius Caesar
1044
01:02:14,608 --> 01:02:16,983
are delighted to announce
the public execution
1045
01:02:17,150 --> 01:02:18,400
of the ex-Empress.
1046
01:02:19,483 --> 01:02:22,983
Beheading will take place
in seven days at sunset.
1047
01:02:24,192 --> 01:02:28,067
Fries will be stirred.
Book early to avoid disappointment.
1048
01:02:28,233 --> 01:02:29,233
Nobody told me.
1049
01:02:29,275 --> 01:02:30,983
By papyrus?
You're not in the group?
1050
01:02:31,150 --> 01:02:32,900
I never am!
1051
01:02:33,067 --> 01:02:34,900
I am Princess Sa See!
1052
01:02:35,067 --> 01:02:37,233
Nobody harms
the daughter of the heavens,
1053
01:02:37,400 --> 01:02:39,817
her majesty the Empress, my mother!
1054
01:02:39,983 --> 01:02:40,983
Arrest her!
1055
01:02:48,067 --> 01:02:49,067
Hey, doggie.
1056
01:02:49,775 --> 01:02:50,567
Bring it on.
1057
01:02:50,733 --> 01:02:53,942
Anyone who touches a single hair
of my future wife
1058
01:02:54,108 --> 01:02:56,400
must prepare for a world of pain.
1059
01:02:58,108 --> 01:02:59,108
I said that?
1060
01:03:05,942 --> 01:03:08,108
Hold on, timeout. Pause it.
1061
01:03:08,275 --> 01:03:10,900
Just a second, I'll be right back.
1062
01:03:12,150 --> 01:03:13,358
You're kidding me.
1063
01:03:15,817 --> 01:03:16,942
You good?
1064
01:03:20,900 --> 01:03:21,900
We can start?
1065
01:03:22,317 --> 01:03:23,150
Toilet break.
1066
01:03:23,317 --> 01:03:24,067
Sure.
1067
01:03:24,233 --> 01:03:25,358
Not buying it.
1068
01:03:55,650 --> 01:03:56,650
Wring!
1069
01:04:20,025 --> 01:04:21,025
How about that.
1070
01:04:26,692 --> 01:04:29,358
The acupuncturist prescribed me
two days' rest.
1071
01:04:29,525 --> 01:04:30,817
For what we get paid...
1072
01:04:32,608 --> 01:04:33,942
Act like we never met?
1073
01:04:34,108 --> 01:04:35,108
We never met.
1074
01:05:30,400 --> 01:05:32,608
Say, he just flew off my fist.
1075
01:05:32,775 --> 01:05:33,775
Yeah, I saw that.
1076
01:05:33,942 --> 01:05:35,817
Let's face it, no one beats you.
1077
01:05:36,733 --> 01:05:37,942
What's this?
1078
01:05:41,150 --> 01:05:42,192
Insane! So tight.
1079
01:05:42,358 --> 01:05:44,067
Come on, Princess, it's not safe.
1080
01:05:44,233 --> 01:05:46,317
"Come on, Princess, it's not safe."
1081
01:05:48,025 --> 01:05:49,108
A problem?
1082
01:05:49,275 --> 01:05:50,275
Maybe.
1083
01:05:51,192 --> 01:05:52,233
Potion's worn off?
1084
01:05:52,692 --> 01:05:54,358
Maybe. Try me, you'll see.
1085
01:05:55,692 --> 01:05:56,692
We'll talk later.
1086
01:05:57,483 --> 01:05:58,608
Ready when you are.
1087
01:06:17,608 --> 01:06:18,608
Halt!
1088
01:06:23,567 --> 01:06:25,317
THE ORIGINAL 2CV
1089
01:06:30,692 --> 01:06:32,317
SOAPS by CLEO
1090
01:06:34,983 --> 01:06:36,567
Who whistled?
1091
01:06:47,567 --> 01:06:48,650
I go off to war.
1092
01:06:49,608 --> 01:06:51,567
I risk my life and nothing from her.
1093
01:06:52,150 --> 01:06:53,692
No messages, no news.
1094
01:06:54,025 --> 01:06:55,608
No papyrus, no pigeons.
1095
01:06:55,983 --> 01:06:57,650
Time to snap out of it!
1096
01:06:57,900 --> 01:07:00,400
We were the intrepid, conquering hero.
1097
01:07:00,567 --> 01:07:02,025
We've gone a bit flat.
1098
01:07:02,192 --> 01:07:03,192
He's right.
1099
01:07:03,358 --> 01:07:04,567
You messaged her?
1100
01:07:04,733 --> 01:07:07,525
No, we said no messages.
We play it cool.
1101
01:07:07,692 --> 01:07:10,483
We do nothing. Let her stew like beef.
1102
01:07:10,650 --> 01:07:12,608
Butt out, cupcake!
1103
01:07:13,067 --> 01:07:14,567
Come again, sentry?
1104
01:07:14,858 --> 01:07:17,858
Risklus! An aquarium,
with water on the brain!
1105
01:07:18,025 --> 01:07:21,108
Two-bit Antivirus!
You're not fit to shine his sandals.
1106
01:07:21,275 --> 01:07:22,858
Shut your trap!
1107
01:07:26,400 --> 01:07:28,192
Who wears the toga at home?
1108
01:07:28,650 --> 01:07:29,650
Who's the boss?
1109
01:07:30,192 --> 01:07:31,192
I am.
1110
01:07:31,650 --> 01:07:32,900
Anyone hear that?
1111
01:07:33,358 --> 01:07:34,858
Who's the boss?
1112
01:07:36,275 --> 01:07:37,692
- I am.
- There you are!
1113
01:07:37,858 --> 01:07:39,608
You're back. Julius Caesar!
1114
01:07:39,775 --> 01:07:41,275
Our champion! Number one!
1115
01:07:42,775 --> 01:07:43,858
The only message is,
1116
01:07:44,025 --> 01:07:47,025
"Take your trunks and stuff,
and go home to Egypt!
1117
01:07:47,192 --> 01:07:49,900
"Walking straight or sideways,
whatever, just go!"
1118
01:07:53,817 --> 01:07:55,150
You're right. Scribe!
1119
01:08:06,650 --> 01:08:07,692
Better!
1120
01:08:08,108 --> 01:08:11,525
I want my palace in Rome
empty of sarcophagi and bandages.
1121
01:08:12,567 --> 01:08:15,567
As of today,
you know who wears the toga at home.
1122
01:08:17,025 --> 01:08:18,025
Ave, me!
1123
01:08:18,358 --> 01:08:22,025
There, that's big-time Caesar.
Masterful!
1124
01:08:22,192 --> 01:08:23,817
The Queen of Egypt?
1125
01:08:23,983 --> 01:08:25,900
Queen of Nitwits more like!
1126
01:08:26,983 --> 01:08:28,650
They're not singing anymore...
1127
01:08:28,817 --> 01:08:31,442
They're not singing, the Egyptians!
1128
01:08:31,858 --> 01:08:33,483
- Send.
- Yes!
1129
01:08:37,525 --> 01:08:38,733
Pigeon!
1130
01:08:42,108 --> 01:08:43,233
A bunny!
1131
01:08:44,317 --> 01:08:45,733
It's a bunny.
1132
01:08:45,900 --> 01:08:46,900
Scary!
1133
01:08:47,233 --> 01:08:48,483
A raccoon!
1134
01:08:52,567 --> 01:08:53,567
A goat!
1135
01:08:54,317 --> 01:08:55,483
A billy goat.
1136
01:09:01,567 --> 01:09:03,275
Come on, sweetie, let's go.
1137
01:09:12,442 --> 01:09:13,525
From Cleopatra.
1138
01:09:13,692 --> 01:09:14,692
Already?
1139
01:09:16,150 --> 01:09:17,150
Read it.
1140
01:09:29,108 --> 01:09:30,400
Don't understand a word.
1141
01:09:30,567 --> 01:09:31,567
I don't understand.
1142
01:09:33,525 --> 01:09:35,150
"I wanted to apologise.
1143
01:09:36,108 --> 01:09:37,275
"For my behaviour.
1144
01:09:37,442 --> 01:09:38,650
"I went too far."
1145
01:09:38,817 --> 01:09:39,817
For sure.
1146
01:09:40,983 --> 01:09:44,858
"Four months apart
and I dream of us being reunited.
1147
01:09:45,483 --> 01:09:48,108
"Waiting for you in Rome.
Come back soon.
1148
01:09:49,308 --> 01:09:50,600
"Your loving Cleo."
1149
01:09:52,308 --> 01:09:53,683
Stop the pigeon!
1150
01:09:54,183 --> 01:09:55,225
Cancel the pigeon!
1151
01:09:55,392 --> 01:09:57,017
- Fast!
- We can't cancel it.
1152
01:09:57,183 --> 01:09:58,433
Sent is sent.
1153
01:09:58,808 --> 01:09:59,808
I beat him?
1154
01:09:59,892 --> 01:10:01,225
Everybody out!
1155
01:10:06,350 --> 01:10:07,517
I said everybody.
1156
01:11:25,475 --> 01:11:27,308
Hungry? There's lots of fruit.
1157
01:11:27,475 --> 01:11:28,517
- Hands off.
- What?
1158
01:11:28,683 --> 01:11:29,975
They're offerings.
1159
01:11:30,642 --> 01:11:32,017
Sorry. I didn't...
1160
01:11:39,975 --> 01:11:40,975
Hold on.
1161
01:11:41,058 --> 01:11:42,975
Move along. Have a good evening.
1162
01:11:43,517 --> 01:11:44,558
Good luck.
1163
01:11:45,308 --> 01:11:46,433
Just a beggar.
1164
01:11:51,642 --> 01:11:52,642
Master Sill Lee.
1165
01:11:53,975 --> 01:11:54,975
Sorry.
1166
01:11:55,933 --> 01:11:58,600
Profuse apologies, Mr Sill Lee.
I thought...
1167
01:11:59,017 --> 01:12:02,308
Master Sill Lee is a hermit
who devotes his life to meditation.
1168
01:12:02,475 --> 01:12:04,183
He took a vow of absolute poverty.
1169
01:12:05,433 --> 01:12:07,933
Bravo for the oath. That blows my mind.
1170
01:12:08,100 --> 01:12:09,267
It's beyond me.
1171
01:12:09,433 --> 01:12:12,475
In that case,
allow me to relieve you of the money.
1172
01:12:12,642 --> 01:12:15,100
Try to take back your coin,
1173
01:12:15,558 --> 01:12:16,975
little grasshopper.
1174
01:12:21,433 --> 01:12:23,142
It's too easy. You're blind.
1175
01:12:23,308 --> 01:12:26,558
Never assume a man cannot see
because he's...
1176
01:12:28,558 --> 01:12:30,183
You saw that coming?
1177
01:12:31,933 --> 01:12:33,433
There we are!
1178
01:12:34,017 --> 01:12:35,225
It was his game.
1179
01:12:35,392 --> 01:12:36,392
Leave him.
1180
01:12:36,558 --> 01:12:37,600
Little grasshopper!
1181
01:12:38,058 --> 01:12:39,767
Sir, over here.
1182
01:12:40,975 --> 01:12:42,767
You are as swift as a cobra.
1183
01:12:42,933 --> 01:12:43,933
Yup, Sill Lee.
1184
01:12:44,017 --> 01:12:46,433
Can we move on to important matters?
1185
01:12:52,642 --> 01:12:53,850
By Toutatis!
1186
01:12:54,267 --> 01:12:58,058
Deng Tsin Quin spreads terror
across the whole country.
1187
01:12:58,558 --> 01:13:00,225
Do not touch.
1188
01:13:01,183 --> 01:13:02,183
Hard to resist.
1189
01:13:02,600 --> 01:13:03,683
I see
1190
01:13:03,892 --> 01:13:05,808
an old abandoned temple.
1191
01:13:06,267 --> 01:13:07,850
The temple in Xuan.
1192
01:13:08,308 --> 01:13:11,892
Her majesty the Empress
is held prisoner.
1193
01:13:13,725 --> 01:13:15,100
After releasing her,
1194
01:13:15,267 --> 01:13:18,183
you must go with all speed
1195
01:13:18,350 --> 01:13:19,933
to the Ku Koos' palace,
1196
01:13:20,100 --> 01:13:24,267
before Caesar seizes the final kingdom.
1197
01:13:24,850 --> 01:13:26,933
You will encounter
1198
01:13:27,558 --> 01:13:28,642
the hideous...
1199
01:13:29,100 --> 01:13:30,642
the unsightly...
1200
01:13:30,808 --> 01:13:34,767
the monstrous crown prince,
1201
01:13:34,933 --> 01:13:36,142
Prince of Ku Koo,
1202
01:13:36,308 --> 01:13:39,475
the man in the bamboo mask.
1203
01:13:41,517 --> 01:13:43,225
Don't worry, it's fake.
1204
01:13:43,683 --> 01:13:44,933
Good luck!
1205
01:13:45,725 --> 01:13:48,142
We must go our separate ways.
1206
01:13:48,725 --> 01:13:50,058
Grand master,
1207
01:13:50,558 --> 01:13:52,225
are you done with the ball?
1208
01:13:53,850 --> 01:13:54,850
Yes.
1209
01:13:59,100 --> 01:14:00,392
Holy cow!
1210
01:14:03,267 --> 01:14:05,142
There you are. You broke it.
1211
01:14:05,308 --> 01:14:06,892
He said do not touch.
1212
01:14:08,933 --> 01:14:09,975
He's right.
1213
01:14:10,892 --> 01:14:12,725
I said do not touch!
1214
01:14:18,767 --> 01:14:20,225
Why'd you touch it?
1215
01:14:25,808 --> 01:14:28,350
Seen Princess Sa See?
With two warriors...
1216
01:14:32,517 --> 01:14:33,850
Princess Sa See?
1217
01:14:34,017 --> 01:14:37,267
Seen her?
With two superhuman foreign warriors.
1218
01:14:37,850 --> 01:14:38,850
And a dog.
1219
01:14:54,142 --> 01:14:56,600
You're waiting for an ale?
Bring them in!
1220
01:14:57,433 --> 01:14:59,058
- Asterix!
- What? Run!
1221
01:14:59,558 --> 01:15:00,808
- Asterix!
- What?
1222
01:15:00,975 --> 01:15:02,350
Why are we running?
1223
01:15:02,850 --> 01:15:04,517
- So I don't have to fight.
- Why?
1224
01:15:04,683 --> 01:15:06,558
No more potion with the Princess.
1225
01:15:06,725 --> 01:15:08,642
I'm sick of looking stupid.
1226
01:15:09,142 --> 01:15:11,183
Hurry! I bagged a rickshaw.
1227
01:15:11,350 --> 01:15:12,433
Come on!
1228
01:15:14,225 --> 01:15:15,225
Fast!
1229
01:15:15,975 --> 01:15:17,017
Faster!
1230
01:15:21,558 --> 01:15:22,933
He does this on purpose.
1231
01:16:15,850 --> 01:16:16,933
All right.
1232
01:16:22,642 --> 01:16:25,392
One more ball and it's curtains for us.
1233
01:16:26,433 --> 01:16:27,642
So, our last night...
1234
01:16:28,558 --> 01:16:29,850
I was thinking...
1235
01:16:30,558 --> 01:16:32,558
maybe as a memento...
1236
01:16:32,725 --> 01:16:33,725
Majesty!
1237
01:16:35,267 --> 01:16:36,350
Gave me a fright!
1238
01:16:36,517 --> 01:16:37,933
We'll get you out.
1239
01:16:38,392 --> 01:16:39,392
Who's that?
1240
01:16:41,308 --> 01:16:42,558
Stand back.
1241
01:16:53,600 --> 01:16:54,600
All good?
1242
01:17:02,683 --> 01:17:03,683
Sorry.
1243
01:17:16,350 --> 01:17:17,350
Rise.
1244
01:17:18,933 --> 01:17:19,725
Let's go.
1245
01:17:19,892 --> 01:17:21,225
Jump. We'll catch you.
1246
01:17:21,392 --> 01:17:23,017
What? Jump?
1247
01:17:23,183 --> 01:17:24,683
I can't leave right now!
1248
01:17:24,975 --> 01:17:27,017
Abandon a negotiation? Not my style!
1249
01:17:27,642 --> 01:17:29,308
In two balls, the guard caves.
1250
01:17:29,475 --> 01:17:32,100
Go ahead without me. I'll catch you up.
1251
01:17:32,850 --> 01:17:33,850
Are you sure?
1252
01:17:34,517 --> 01:17:35,517
Yes.
1253
01:17:36,475 --> 01:17:37,517
As you wish.
1254
01:17:40,933 --> 01:17:41,933
Take care.
1255
01:17:42,892 --> 01:17:44,100
And keep your head.
1256
01:17:46,392 --> 01:17:47,808
You're afraid for me.
1257
01:17:49,100 --> 01:17:53,017
You see, you're even more beautiful
smiling than in a temper.
1258
01:18:00,933 --> 01:18:02,558
She's so impressive!
1259
01:18:04,017 --> 01:18:05,100
Thank you.
1260
01:18:06,558 --> 01:18:07,558
Mother!
1261
01:18:08,433 --> 01:18:10,058
What joy to see you again.
1262
01:18:20,267 --> 01:18:20,892
Alert!
1263
01:18:21,058 --> 01:18:21,683
Run!
1264
01:18:21,850 --> 01:18:22,850
They've escaped!
1265
01:18:33,683 --> 01:18:35,142
Which way now? Which way?
1266
01:18:36,850 --> 01:18:37,850
Wait.
1267
01:18:38,767 --> 01:18:40,725
Good. We lost them.
1268
01:18:40,892 --> 01:18:43,100
Friends from Gaul.
Thanks for your help.
1269
01:18:43,267 --> 01:18:45,058
Our pleasure, Your Majesty.
1270
01:18:45,933 --> 01:18:48,017
Seeing as no one introduces me...
1271
01:18:49,767 --> 01:18:50,975
Bankruptis.
1272
01:18:51,142 --> 01:18:53,600
We already met at the market.
1273
01:18:54,308 --> 01:18:55,350
That's right.
1274
01:18:56,142 --> 01:18:57,808
Life's full of surprises.
1275
01:19:00,225 --> 01:19:02,350
Attention issues for the Empress.
1276
01:19:03,183 --> 01:19:06,308
Take the Gauls to the Ku Koos.
Secure their support.
1277
01:19:06,475 --> 01:19:09,808
Meanwhile
I'll rally our army and followers.
1278
01:19:10,683 --> 01:19:11,850
Miss Tik, come with me.
1279
01:19:12,558 --> 01:19:14,225
I shall honour you, Mother.
1280
01:19:14,392 --> 01:19:15,433
You'll be proud of me.
1281
01:19:17,350 --> 01:19:19,017
I'm already proud of you.
1282
01:19:20,600 --> 01:19:21,850
Let's go, Miss Tik.
1283
01:19:39,392 --> 01:19:40,725
This will end badly.
1284
01:20:03,642 --> 01:20:05,600
Miss Tik has fallen for Obelix.
1285
01:20:07,642 --> 01:20:08,642
Obelix, too.
1286
01:20:11,267 --> 01:20:14,267
I don't like all the falling-for
in this adventure.
1287
01:20:15,350 --> 01:20:16,392
So let's go.
1288
01:20:17,850 --> 01:20:19,392
Obelix, come on.
1289
01:20:27,808 --> 01:20:30,433
- What's the wine made from?
- Rice.
1290
01:20:31,517 --> 01:20:33,683
Refinement is not your strong suit.
1291
01:20:38,350 --> 01:20:40,433
Got a kick but not all bad.
1292
01:20:41,308 --> 01:20:42,350
It's relaxing.
1293
01:20:42,517 --> 01:20:43,517
Rice wine.
1294
01:20:44,183 --> 01:20:47,475
Maybe take a few amphorae
for fight nights with Wifey.
1295
01:20:49,892 --> 01:20:50,933
You see...
1296
01:20:51,100 --> 01:20:52,725
At times like this...
1297
01:20:56,100 --> 01:20:57,267
I miss her.
1298
01:20:57,975 --> 01:20:59,350
What's with the music?
1299
01:20:59,517 --> 01:21:00,350
A full band?
1300
01:21:00,517 --> 01:21:01,892
Four and a singer.
1301
01:21:02,350 --> 01:21:04,142
- You take them everywhere?
- Yes.
1302
01:21:04,308 --> 01:21:05,392
It's practical.
1303
01:21:06,392 --> 01:21:08,517
I always have my favourite music.
1304
01:21:10,183 --> 01:21:11,183
Know it?
1305
01:21:11,308 --> 01:21:12,683
Sure, obviously.
1306
01:21:13,433 --> 01:21:15,683
Now that's what I call music.
1307
01:21:16,850 --> 01:21:19,017
None of your ching-chong nonsense.
1308
01:21:32,850 --> 01:21:33,850
Amore!
1309
01:21:34,892 --> 01:21:36,267
What are you doing?
1310
01:21:37,850 --> 01:21:40,183
- I saw my wife.
- I'm nobody's wife.
1311
01:21:42,058 --> 01:21:42,892
Know what?
1312
01:21:43,058 --> 01:21:45,558
Your libation brought back the urge.
1313
01:21:48,225 --> 01:21:51,183
I shall become
the next Emperor of China.
1314
01:21:51,725 --> 01:21:52,725
Wow...
1315
01:21:52,808 --> 01:21:55,433
Mama Cleo will never get over it.
1316
01:21:56,267 --> 01:21:59,017
Tomorrow at dawn, we go full Ku Koo.
1317
01:22:16,433 --> 01:22:18,725
Slow down. Our exit's coming up.
1318
01:22:18,892 --> 01:22:20,100
Yes, next one.
1319
01:22:22,142 --> 01:22:24,225
Once more, thanks to Obelix,
1320
01:22:24,392 --> 01:22:28,225
our friends beat Caesar's army
to the palace of Prince Ku Koo,
1321
01:22:28,392 --> 01:22:30,225
the man in the bamboo mask.
1322
01:22:30,558 --> 01:22:31,642
Keep up.
1323
01:22:35,642 --> 01:22:36,808
I am To Fu.
1324
01:22:37,475 --> 01:22:40,558
Advisor to the prince regent, Ku Koo.
1325
01:22:41,058 --> 01:22:42,558
Can you prove
1326
01:22:43,267 --> 01:22:45,350
you really are Princess Sa See?
1327
01:22:46,558 --> 01:22:49,183
I give my word.
I am the Empress's daughter.
1328
01:22:49,558 --> 01:22:52,892
Sadly, your word is not enough.
1329
01:22:54,183 --> 01:22:55,850
You could be a spy.
1330
01:22:56,475 --> 01:22:57,600
In the pay
1331
01:22:57,767 --> 01:22:59,183
of Deng Tsin Quin!
1332
01:23:01,767 --> 01:23:02,767
The coin!
1333
01:23:08,517 --> 01:23:11,975
Will you now bow
before your Empress's daughter?
1334
01:23:14,017 --> 01:23:16,100
I apologise profusely, Princess Sa See.
1335
01:23:16,267 --> 01:23:17,892
We must be careful.
1336
01:23:18,683 --> 01:23:20,892
His Highness, the Prince...
1337
01:23:21,058 --> 01:23:22,058
of Ku Koo!
1338
01:23:34,433 --> 01:23:35,433
What the heck?
1339
01:23:36,267 --> 01:23:38,183
Don't turn your back. It's rude!
1340
01:23:38,350 --> 01:23:39,475
In his house.
1341
01:24:01,933 --> 01:24:02,933
Princess Sa See,
1342
01:24:03,058 --> 01:24:05,517
Prince of Ku Koo, with my men,
at your service.
1343
01:24:05,683 --> 01:24:08,225
We support your mother, our Empress.
1344
01:24:09,975 --> 01:24:10,975
Thanks.
1345
01:24:11,600 --> 01:24:12,683
Sorry, I'm lost for...
1346
01:24:13,142 --> 01:24:15,558
All my fault.
My cursed mane frightens you.
1347
01:24:16,350 --> 01:24:18,142
On the contrary, it suits you.
1348
01:24:19,808 --> 01:24:21,183
Nobody ever said that.
1349
01:24:21,350 --> 01:24:23,142
I never wanted to say it.
1350
01:24:38,600 --> 01:24:40,683
That's love at first look.
1351
01:24:40,850 --> 01:24:43,183
Whole weeks of work for nothing.
1352
01:24:46,558 --> 01:24:47,933
Back to the friend zone.
1353
01:24:49,308 --> 01:24:50,350
Let's go.
1354
01:24:51,808 --> 01:24:53,517
We have a country to save.
1355
01:25:07,350 --> 01:25:09,808
Gotta be cuckoo
to build a palace in a hollow.
1356
01:25:09,975 --> 01:25:11,142
No way out.
1357
01:25:11,642 --> 01:25:13,892
Cornered by Caesar. It will be brief.
1358
01:25:17,600 --> 01:25:18,850
Here we go again.
1359
01:25:19,017 --> 01:25:20,183
Blah-blah time.
1360
01:25:32,017 --> 01:25:33,850
I am Princess Sa See.
1361
01:25:34,017 --> 01:25:36,267
Submit to the sole Empress of China.
1362
01:25:38,392 --> 01:25:39,433
Sa See darling,
1363
01:25:39,600 --> 01:25:41,100
we can marry at last.
1364
01:25:41,267 --> 01:25:44,600
Don't bet on it.
You'll regret your acts, Deng Tsin Quin.
1365
01:25:45,517 --> 01:25:48,308
- She's no pushover.
- Can't lie, sparks aren't flying.
1366
01:25:48,475 --> 01:25:50,808
I have a question for you.
1367
01:25:52,058 --> 01:25:53,058
How many?
1368
01:25:53,642 --> 01:25:54,808
Ten thousand.
1369
01:25:54,975 --> 01:25:58,433
Because we are 80,000-strong!
1370
01:26:04,683 --> 01:26:07,767
That's experience for you.
Not boasting, I've never lost.
1371
01:26:07,933 --> 01:26:08,933
You're wonderful.
1372
01:26:09,058 --> 01:26:10,517
You miscounted, Princess.
1373
01:26:10,683 --> 01:26:12,183
Ten thousand plus two.
1374
01:26:12,350 --> 01:26:13,558
If you still need me.
1375
01:26:13,725 --> 01:26:14,808
Peek-a-boo, Julius!
1376
01:26:14,975 --> 01:26:16,100
It's us!
1377
01:26:16,267 --> 01:26:17,267
The crazies!
1378
01:26:17,392 --> 01:26:18,225
Not plus two.
1379
01:26:18,392 --> 01:26:19,475
Plus three!
1380
01:26:20,267 --> 01:26:21,725
The man in the bamboo mask.
1381
01:26:23,683 --> 01:26:24,517
Gross!
1382
01:26:24,683 --> 01:26:26,392
Poor guy's blond!
1383
01:26:26,558 --> 01:26:27,558
It's not too bad.
1384
01:26:27,642 --> 01:26:29,100
Not plus three. Plus four!
1385
01:26:29,850 --> 01:26:30,975
I'm the man
1386
01:26:31,767 --> 01:26:32,850
with feather feet!
1387
01:26:33,017 --> 01:26:34,142
What is this?
1388
01:26:40,683 --> 01:26:43,058
Why talk when you can run?
1389
01:26:55,517 --> 01:26:57,683
He didn't warm up. The chump!
1390
01:26:57,933 --> 01:26:59,475
- Did I say charge?
- No.
1391
01:27:02,417 --> 01:27:03,458
Substitute!
1392
01:27:07,583 --> 01:27:09,042
Antivirus!
1393
01:27:45,917 --> 01:27:47,792
Asterix, I'll have a drop.
1394
01:27:48,375 --> 01:27:49,417
Not enough for 4.
1395
01:27:49,750 --> 01:27:50,750
"Not enough for 4!"
1396
01:27:54,458 --> 01:27:55,750
The cheats!
1397
01:27:55,917 --> 01:27:56,917
Won't help them.
1398
01:27:58,542 --> 01:28:00,125
Charge!
1399
01:28:17,625 --> 01:28:18,625
Yes?
1400
01:28:19,167 --> 01:28:20,167
Of course.
1401
01:29:09,875 --> 01:29:10,875
Help me.
1402
01:29:11,375 --> 01:29:12,375
Pipe down.
1403
01:29:12,542 --> 01:29:13,750
You've got gall.
1404
01:29:14,083 --> 01:29:14,833
Gall...
1405
01:29:15,000 --> 01:29:16,000
Gaul!
1406
01:29:28,750 --> 01:29:30,125
Can I join in?
1407
01:29:30,625 --> 01:29:31,625
Yeah, sure.
1408
01:29:31,875 --> 01:29:32,875
Archers!
1409
01:29:33,625 --> 01:29:34,625
Prepare!
1410
01:29:35,125 --> 01:29:36,125
Draw!
1411
01:29:36,667 --> 01:29:37,667
Loose!
1412
01:29:39,125 --> 01:29:41,333
Deng Tsin Quin, Emperor of China!
1413
01:29:44,292 --> 01:29:45,292
Arrows!
1414
01:30:00,083 --> 01:30:01,292
You can't be serious.
1415
01:30:01,708 --> 01:30:02,750
Don't judge me.
1416
01:30:05,417 --> 01:30:06,417
I feel it.
1417
01:30:07,583 --> 01:30:09,042
I feel it rising.
1418
01:30:12,208 --> 01:30:13,333
It's insane!
1419
01:30:14,792 --> 01:30:15,792
That's it?
1420
01:30:19,583 --> 01:30:20,917
No way! It's a joke.
1421
01:30:30,917 --> 01:30:32,042
I smell victory.
1422
01:30:33,792 --> 01:30:35,000
A particular scent?
1423
01:30:36,250 --> 01:30:38,333
Do readers care for such details?
1424
01:30:38,500 --> 01:30:39,750
It sets the scene.
1425
01:30:41,583 --> 01:30:43,208
The scent of laurels.
1426
01:30:43,625 --> 01:30:44,667
Excellent!
1427
01:31:08,417 --> 01:31:09,125
Thanks.
1428
01:31:09,292 --> 01:31:10,375
You're welcome.
1429
01:31:13,792 --> 01:31:15,625
We fell out but I can help out.
1430
01:31:16,292 --> 01:31:17,042
Sure.
1431
01:31:17,208 --> 01:31:18,708
I'm on your side.
1432
01:31:19,750 --> 01:31:20,750
Sure.
1433
01:31:22,125 --> 01:31:23,667
You'll always be my chum.
1434
01:31:26,833 --> 01:31:27,833
Sure.
1435
01:31:29,000 --> 01:31:30,292
Sorry, Obelix.
1436
01:31:55,167 --> 01:31:56,167
Stop!
1437
01:32:10,833 --> 01:32:12,083
Before I die...
1438
01:32:13,500 --> 01:32:15,208
I must tell you, Princess...
1439
01:32:41,333 --> 01:32:42,333
Look!
1440
01:32:43,875 --> 01:32:45,625
Just when all seems lost,
1441
01:32:46,167 --> 01:32:47,833
the Empress arrives,
1442
01:32:48,000 --> 01:32:50,708
followed by her army and entire people.
1443
01:32:51,042 --> 01:32:52,333
They are all there,
1444
01:32:52,500 --> 01:32:55,958
marching across the middle kingdom
1445
01:32:56,125 --> 01:32:58,167
to the scene of the final battle.
1446
01:33:15,542 --> 01:33:17,375
- What on earth is this?
- Not sure.
1447
01:33:17,542 --> 01:33:19,958
Suddenly, I can't smell the laurels.
1448
01:33:20,500 --> 01:33:21,833
Pine boxes maybe.
1449
01:33:30,833 --> 01:33:32,333
I am Empress of China.
1450
01:33:32,500 --> 01:33:34,958
I order you
to leave my empire forthwith.
1451
01:33:36,042 --> 01:33:37,167
Never!
1452
01:33:37,667 --> 01:33:39,750
She has a temper.
Reminds me of someone.
1453
01:33:41,750 --> 01:33:42,875
Your Majesty!
1454
01:33:43,750 --> 01:33:46,000
Rather than ruin everything in anger,
1455
01:33:46,167 --> 01:33:48,750
perhaps we could envisage
a sort of alliance.
1456
01:33:49,125 --> 01:33:51,625
When the cloud conceals the sun,
1457
01:33:51,792 --> 01:33:54,083
my army will reduce you to dust.
1458
01:33:54,958 --> 01:33:56,125
What's that?
1459
01:33:56,667 --> 01:33:57,667
A local proverb?
1460
01:33:57,750 --> 01:34:00,375
No, it's literal. It's happening.
1461
01:34:06,083 --> 01:34:07,292
How many of you?
1462
01:34:07,458 --> 01:34:08,583
He's at it again.
1463
01:34:09,250 --> 01:34:10,250
One
1464
01:34:10,708 --> 01:34:11,708
million!
1465
01:34:14,583 --> 01:34:15,667
Game changer.
1466
01:34:17,417 --> 01:34:19,542
I'll be going. I'm not from here.
1467
01:34:19,708 --> 01:34:21,875
I'll be in Rome. Keep me posted.
1468
01:34:22,667 --> 01:34:23,750
Don't desert us.
1469
01:34:23,917 --> 01:34:25,292
There's a million of them.
1470
01:34:26,083 --> 01:34:27,292
It's not my war.
1471
01:34:32,875 --> 01:34:34,167
I can't go like this.
1472
01:34:37,292 --> 01:34:38,292
Rear up!
1473
01:34:49,833 --> 01:34:50,875
Got your message!
1474
01:34:51,042 --> 01:34:53,917
Say goodbye to my little pyramid!
Cleopatra
1475
01:34:55,417 --> 01:34:56,875
It's been a tough day.
1476
01:34:57,708 --> 01:34:58,708
A tough day.
1477
01:35:38,000 --> 01:35:39,417
That feels good.
1478
01:35:40,917 --> 01:35:42,917
Here we are, back in Gaul.
1479
01:35:43,417 --> 01:35:46,000
Not only
for our friends' customary banquet.
1480
01:35:46,708 --> 01:35:50,583
But also to celebrate Gaul and China.
1481
01:35:53,875 --> 01:35:56,542
And now the Empress will speak.
1482
01:35:58,583 --> 01:35:59,625
Valiant Gauls!
1483
01:36:00,792 --> 01:36:02,750
You have my eternal gratitude.
1484
01:36:03,333 --> 01:36:05,458
It was an honour, Your Majesty.
1485
01:36:06,125 --> 01:36:07,792
I insisted we come to help.
1486
01:36:09,292 --> 01:36:11,042
We made this long journey
1487
01:36:11,208 --> 01:36:13,083
to celebrate a beautiful alliance.
1488
01:36:21,875 --> 01:36:23,333
That's my cousin Remix.
1489
01:36:23,958 --> 01:36:25,750
A specialist in world music.
1490
01:36:26,583 --> 01:36:27,708
He's my cousin.
1491
01:36:27,875 --> 01:36:30,042
Mine. Not yours, mine!
1492
01:37:16,750 --> 01:37:19,167
We have a lot in common, you and I.
1493
01:37:19,333 --> 01:37:20,375
We're chiefs.
1494
01:37:20,542 --> 01:37:23,000
I always think
power isolates you from people.
1495
01:37:23,167 --> 01:37:24,667
Don't you agree?
1496
01:37:26,792 --> 01:37:28,583
And I'm not done.
1497
01:37:28,750 --> 01:37:30,917
And behind every great man
1498
01:37:31,083 --> 01:37:32,125
is a great woman.
1499
01:37:32,292 --> 01:37:35,208
Without Impedimenta, I'm nothing.
At home, she holds the shield.
1500
01:37:35,375 --> 01:37:37,958
I'm not disturbing you?
You're having a good day?
1501
01:37:39,417 --> 01:37:40,417
We'll talk at home.
1502
01:37:42,000 --> 01:37:43,000
Mimenta!
1503
01:37:43,542 --> 01:37:46,083
Excuse me, minor marital contretemps.
1504
01:37:49,750 --> 01:37:51,875
I thought he'd never leave.
1505
01:37:53,042 --> 01:37:56,167
You know, when you left the cell,
I kept my head...
1506
01:37:57,750 --> 01:37:58,833
However...
1507
01:37:59,417 --> 01:38:00,583
I lost my heart.
1508
01:38:01,375 --> 01:38:02,500
Now, now.
1509
01:38:03,000 --> 01:38:05,583
Well then, where's my little heart?
1510
01:38:08,208 --> 01:38:09,250
Bankruptis, look.
1511
01:38:09,750 --> 01:38:11,583
Uncle didn't nod off in prison.
1512
01:38:12,542 --> 01:38:13,583
Classy!
1513
01:38:20,458 --> 01:38:21,458
One more plate.
1514
01:38:21,542 --> 01:38:23,500
No, a dish. A big dish! Share?
1515
01:38:24,542 --> 01:38:25,542
I won't crack.
1516
01:38:25,583 --> 01:38:26,583
Silly me.
1517
01:38:27,875 --> 01:38:29,333
Still don't miss it?
1518
01:38:29,792 --> 01:38:31,167
Not at all.
1519
01:38:31,417 --> 01:38:32,583
Honestly...
1520
01:38:32,917 --> 01:38:34,042
the smell is vile.
1521
01:38:35,375 --> 01:38:37,250
There are still triggers, though.
1522
01:38:38,250 --> 01:38:40,458
Drink an ale and it becomes tricky.
1523
01:38:42,000 --> 01:38:43,000
Hi, Obelix.
1524
01:38:43,667 --> 01:38:44,667
Panacea.
1525
01:38:45,542 --> 01:38:46,542
I'm interrupting?
1526
01:38:47,458 --> 01:38:48,750
I can see I am.
1527
01:38:49,417 --> 01:38:50,542
You ignore me now.
1528
01:38:52,042 --> 01:38:53,167
Are the rumours true?
1529
01:38:53,542 --> 01:38:54,625
You and Miss Tik?
1530
01:38:55,667 --> 01:38:56,667
Seriously?
1531
01:38:56,708 --> 01:38:58,708
Long-distance relationships
don't work.
1532
01:38:58,875 --> 01:39:01,625
Honestly, her there, you here...
And I'm here.
1533
01:39:02,250 --> 01:39:04,917
Waiting for you for months,
worried sick,
1534
01:39:05,083 --> 01:39:06,500
and you fall in love?
1535
01:39:07,375 --> 01:39:08,500
Don't you love me?
1536
01:39:09,458 --> 01:39:10,792
Is that a yes or a no?
1537
01:39:11,125 --> 01:39:12,250
You wanted me.
1538
01:39:12,750 --> 01:39:13,875
Is it a yes or a no?
1539
01:39:14,250 --> 01:39:15,917
- I forget you?
- Say yes!
1540
01:39:16,083 --> 01:39:17,167
Panacea...
1541
01:39:18,333 --> 01:39:19,333
Don't bother.
1542
01:39:19,667 --> 01:39:22,583
You know the village
thrives on new adventures.
1543
01:39:23,875 --> 01:39:25,917
It's time for me to do the same.
1544
01:39:26,083 --> 01:39:27,083
Nothing personal.
1545
01:39:28,167 --> 01:39:29,167
Excuse me...
1546
01:39:30,000 --> 01:39:31,000
You're nuts.
1547
01:39:33,042 --> 01:39:34,042
But I'd...
1548
01:41:57,833 --> 01:41:59,000
Good, wasn't it?
1549
01:41:59,292 --> 01:42:01,042
Everyone had a great time.
1550
01:42:02,792 --> 01:42:04,000
Yes, a fine feast.
1551
01:42:06,908 --> 01:42:09,075
So Miss Tik has gone home?
1552
01:42:09,408 --> 01:42:11,033
Sure. It's a long ride.
1553
01:42:13,117 --> 01:42:14,658
She said I'm her true love.
1554
01:42:15,908 --> 01:42:16,908
Did she?
1555
01:42:17,617 --> 01:42:18,617
Wonderful.
1556
01:42:19,575 --> 01:42:20,658
Even so...
1557
01:42:21,242 --> 01:42:22,242
she didn't stay?
1558
01:42:22,325 --> 01:42:24,075
She'd have loved to but...
1559
01:42:24,533 --> 01:42:27,742
Too much work in China,
lots of responsibility at the palace.
1560
01:42:28,658 --> 01:42:30,492
But there's time, we'll meet again.
1561
01:42:30,825 --> 01:42:31,825
As grown-ups.
1562
01:42:32,783 --> 01:42:33,783
As grown-ups?
1563
01:42:34,033 --> 01:42:35,033
Yes.
1564
01:42:37,492 --> 01:42:39,117
Tired. I'm going to bed.
1565
01:42:44,700 --> 01:42:45,950
One for the road?
1566
01:42:46,325 --> 01:42:47,867
I wouldn't say no.
1567
01:42:57,408 --> 01:42:58,408
My chum!
1568
01:43:07,533 --> 01:43:08,908
You're strangling me!
1569
01:43:14,242 --> 01:43:15,242
THE END
1570
01:43:15,408 --> 01:43:17,783
For René Goscinny & Albert Uderzo
1571
01:44:17,242 --> 01:44:19,033
You don't want me to sing?
1572
01:44:23,575 --> 01:44:24,992
I'm gonna sing anyway
1573
01:44:27,158 --> 01:44:28,867
You don't want me to sing?
1574
01:44:30,658 --> 01:44:32,367
You don't want me to sing
1575
01:44:32,742 --> 01:44:33,867
The surprise!
1576
01:44:34,033 --> 01:44:35,617
- What surprise?
- Hold on.
1577
01:44:38,325 --> 01:44:41,117
So what is it?
My voice or just me?
1578
01:44:41,283 --> 01:44:43,700
So is it me or my voice?
1579
01:44:44,867 --> 01:44:47,658
So is my voice not right?
It's what you don't like?
1580
01:44:47,825 --> 01:44:49,450
Or is it just me?
1581
01:44:50,242 --> 01:44:52,908
Tell me what's wrong
Always something wrong
1582
01:44:54,242 --> 01:44:55,908
Don't do this, don't do that
1583
01:44:56,075 --> 01:44:58,742
Is it my lyrics or my voice
I don't get it
1584
01:44:58,908 --> 01:45:01,700
Don't call me paranoid
You're all against me
1585
01:45:26,742 --> 01:45:28,075
Caesar said,
1586
01:45:28,492 --> 01:45:30,575
"I want it gleaming
when I get back."
1587
01:45:31,325 --> 01:45:32,408
So buff!
1588
01:45:33,242 --> 01:45:34,450
Buff, buff, buff!
1589
01:45:36,908 --> 01:45:38,117
That's the spirit!
1590
01:45:41,408 --> 01:45:42,700
You keep Gaul.
1591
01:45:42,867 --> 01:45:44,825
I take China, rest of the world.
1592
01:45:44,992 --> 01:45:46,158
It'll go gangbusters.
1593
01:45:46,325 --> 01:45:48,492
Take it or leave it right now.
1594
01:45:48,992 --> 01:45:50,617
What might go gangbusters?
1595
01:45:50,783 --> 01:45:52,492
- I didn't say that.
- Sure you did.
1596
01:45:52,658 --> 01:45:54,283
Top-notch merchants like me,
1597
01:45:54,450 --> 01:45:57,075
we read your lips
even 5 km away.
1598
01:45:57,242 --> 01:45:59,033
- Why'd you say that?
- I didn't!
1599
01:45:59,200 --> 01:46:01,158
- You did.
- I'll lash out!
1600
01:46:03,492 --> 01:46:06,283
You know, duckie,
your Julius is no lost cause.
1601
01:46:06,450 --> 01:46:08,783
So just send him a message,
1602
01:46:08,950 --> 01:46:11,908
"I'd go above and beyond,
I'd dye my hair blond..."
1603
01:46:12,075 --> 01:46:14,617
It's in the bag.
The rascal will be back.
1604
01:46:15,658 --> 01:46:18,533
You're right.
Why did I ever flip my headdress?
1605
01:46:21,492 --> 01:46:24,283
Flat out.
You got a pigeon charger?
1606
01:46:24,908 --> 01:46:26,908
Sit tight, I'll find you one.
1607
01:46:28,200 --> 01:46:29,992
With an Egyptian connector!
1608
01:46:30,617 --> 01:46:31,617
Why Egyptian?
1609
01:46:43,492 --> 01:46:45,742
Are you done making a ruckus?
1610
01:46:46,325 --> 01:46:47,992
We're trying to sleep!
1611
01:46:53,617 --> 01:46:54,617
Sorry.
1612
01:46:58,825 --> 01:47:00,283
Goodnight!
1613
01:47:00,450 --> 01:47:02,575
Goodnight, little Gauls!
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