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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:05:15,398 --> 00:05:18,443 Oh, Charlie! I'm on time, right? 2 00:05:18,568 --> 00:05:21,655 Wrong. You know what I did today? I looked at furniture. 3 00:05:21,738 --> 00:05:24,866 At couches that turn into beds, and chairs that turn into beds, 4 00:05:24,950 --> 00:05:26,743 and lamps that turn into beds. 5 00:05:26,826 --> 00:05:28,954 And then, you know, I went to look at wedding rings. 6 00:05:29,079 --> 00:05:30,121 And then... 7 00:05:30,163 --> 00:05:32,374 Look! For my trousseau. 8 00:05:32,499 --> 00:05:34,709 And, you know, Charlie, that's not all I did today. 9 00:05:34,793 --> 00:05:38,338 I went to the bank, you know? And I took every last cent I own. 10 00:05:38,463 --> 00:05:40,966 All four hundred and twenty-seven dollars. 11 00:05:41,091 --> 00:05:44,344 So now we can put a down payment on something. 12 00:05:45,595 --> 00:05:49,224 Oh, Charlie, it's such a great world, isn't it? 13 00:05:49,808 --> 00:05:54,771 ♪ Today I feel New York is really my personal property 14 00:05:54,896 --> 00:05:58,567 ♪ Right down Broadway to City Hall 15 00:05:59,484 --> 00:06:02,153 ♪ Every supermarket, every five and ten 16 00:06:02,279 --> 00:06:05,073 ♪ All of Lincoln Center, and the great UN 17 00:06:05,198 --> 00:06:08,994 ♪ They're all my personal property 18 00:06:11,454 --> 00:06:16,501 ♪ The zoo in Central Park is merely my private menagerie 19 00:06:16,626 --> 00:06:20,338 ♪ I've carved my name on every tree 20 00:06:21,381 --> 00:06:23,800 ♪ From Yonkers Raceway to Bowling Green 21 00:06:23,883 --> 00:06:26,595 ♪ I own everything around and in between 22 00:06:26,678 --> 00:06:30,974 ♪ It's all my personal property 23 00:06:32,225 --> 00:06:37,397 ♪ The planetarium is mine alone 24 00:06:37,564 --> 00:06:42,235 ♪ The old aquarium I also own 25 00:06:42,319 --> 00:06:48,950 ♪ And since I feel today New York is really my personal property 26 00:06:49,075 --> 00:06:52,370 ♪ I'll tell you what I'm gonna do 27 00:06:53,330 --> 00:06:56,374 ♪ Since I like you very much 28 00:06:56,499 --> 00:06:59,169 ♪ So very, very much 29 00:07:00,003 --> 00:07:02,881 ♪ I'm gonna split it with you 30 00:07:04,841 --> 00:07:06,301 ♪ With you 31 00:07:07,594 --> 00:07:09,054 ♪ With you 32 00:07:10,096 --> 00:07:11,598 ♪ With you 33 00:07:12,849 --> 00:07:14,309 ♪ With you ♪ 34 00:07:18,647 --> 00:07:21,983 Hey, Charlie, you know, this is my own personal, private wishing well. 35 00:07:23,234 --> 00:07:25,028 Hey! Let's make a wish... 36 00:07:25,111 --> 00:07:27,280 and then throw somethin' in after for luck. 37 00:07:28,031 --> 00:07:31,159 ♪ Since I like you very much 38 00:07:31,326 --> 00:07:33,662 ♪ So very, very much 39 00:07:34,746 --> 00:07:37,999 ♪ I'm gonna give it 40 00:07:38,124 --> 00:07:41,086 ♪ To... ♪ 41 00:07:41,211 --> 00:07:43,254 I wish... 42 00:07:43,380 --> 00:07:45,674 (SHRIEKING) 43 00:07:45,799 --> 00:07:47,384 Help! 44 00:07:47,634 --> 00:07:49,844 Help! I can't... I can't swim! 45 00:07:50,261 --> 00:07:52,180 Help! I can't... 46 00:07:52,764 --> 00:07:55,934 Help! I can't... I can't swim! Help me! 47 00:07:56,643 --> 00:07:58,371 Look, Walter. There's a girl in there, drowning. 48 00:07:58,395 --> 00:07:59,771 - Don't look, dear. - But, Walter! 49 00:07:59,896 --> 00:08:01,898 Don't look, I tell you. Don't get involved. 50 00:08:02,023 --> 00:08:03,400 It's none of our business. 51 00:08:03,733 --> 00:08:05,276 (YELLING) 52 00:08:12,534 --> 00:08:14,536 CHARITY: Oh, God. 53 00:08:15,412 --> 00:08:17,414 (SPLUTTERING) 54 00:08:20,500 --> 00:08:22,544 (COUGHING) 55 00:08:25,338 --> 00:08:28,258 - MAN #1: Here, help! Somebody help! - MAN #2: Somebody grab her ankles. 56 00:08:29,968 --> 00:08:32,345 WOMAN: She looks dead. Doesn't she look dead to you? 57 00:08:32,470 --> 00:08:34,389 I don't know. I've never seen her before. 58 00:08:34,556 --> 00:08:37,142 MAN #1: Shake her. Shake her well till the water is out. 59 00:08:37,183 --> 00:08:38,476 She's coming to. 60 00:08:38,601 --> 00:08:43,523 CHARITY: Oh, my God! I'm in Australia! Put me down! 61 00:08:43,648 --> 00:08:46,151 Put me down! 62 00:08:46,276 --> 00:08:50,029 What do you think you're doing? Go away! Don't look at me! 63 00:08:50,113 --> 00:08:53,533 - Don't look at me! - Take it easy, honey. You almost drowned. 64 00:08:53,616 --> 00:08:56,786 - Charlie. Where's Charlie? - I bet she tried to knock herself off. 65 00:08:56,911 --> 00:08:59,289 Apparently over a fellow named Charlie. 66 00:08:59,414 --> 00:09:02,167 Who took my shoe? Where's my shoe? 67 00:09:02,250 --> 00:09:04,419 (SOBBING) 68 00:09:04,461 --> 00:09:07,213 Well, don't stare at me. Don't stare at me. 69 00:09:07,255 --> 00:09:09,424 Please, leave me alone. 70 00:09:11,301 --> 00:09:14,304 Please, leave me alone! 71 00:09:14,429 --> 00:09:17,724 Come on, everybody, let's all go home. Come on, break it up. 72 00:09:17,849 --> 00:09:20,769 Charlie! Why did you do it, Charlie? 73 00:09:20,810 --> 00:09:23,938 - The aquacade is all over. - Hey, be careful. She's a crazy lady. 74 00:09:24,063 --> 00:09:26,858 - COP #2: Let's go now. Come on. - Hey, you all right, miss? 75 00:09:26,941 --> 00:09:29,986 - COP #2: Show's over. Keep moving. - I'm fine. I'm just fine. 76 00:09:31,404 --> 00:09:35,784 Just put it down in your book. The crazy, drowned lady feels fine. 77 00:09:35,909 --> 00:09:39,204 All right, miss. Would you care to tell us what happened? 78 00:09:40,830 --> 00:09:43,917 I lost my shoe. That's what happened. 79 00:09:43,958 --> 00:09:46,795 Hey, Monte, look for her other shoe, will ya? 80 00:09:46,920 --> 00:09:48,838 Yeah, Monte, look for her other shoe. 81 00:09:48,922 --> 00:09:52,592 - MONTE: What's it look like? - It looks like that one. 82 00:09:52,759 --> 00:09:55,970 - What does it look like! - All right, miss. What's your name? 83 00:09:57,514 --> 00:09:59,140 Charity. 84 00:09:59,265 --> 00:10:01,309 Charity Hope Valentine. 85 00:10:01,434 --> 00:10:03,603 Charity Hope Valentine? 86 00:10:03,686 --> 00:10:06,064 - Just write it. Just... - MONTE: Here it is. I found it. 87 00:10:06,189 --> 00:10:08,399 Address? 88 00:10:08,525 --> 00:10:10,401 615 West 44th Street. 89 00:10:10,443 --> 00:10:13,613 - Occupation? - Social consultant. 90 00:10:13,696 --> 00:10:17,116 - Where? - The Fandango Ballroom. 91 00:10:17,242 --> 00:10:19,118 Dance hall hostess. 92 00:10:19,285 --> 00:10:21,621 MONTE: Oh, you mean you work in one of those tango palaces. 93 00:10:21,788 --> 00:10:22,914 CHARITY: It's temporary. 94 00:10:22,956 --> 00:10:25,542 - COP #1: Length of employment? - CHARITY: Eight years. 95 00:10:25,583 --> 00:10:28,503 COP #1: Suppose you tell me what you were doin' in the water. 96 00:10:28,628 --> 00:10:31,506 CHARITY: Oh. Well, my fiancé, Charlie... 97 00:10:31,631 --> 00:10:35,468 Well, he's not exactly my fiancé, exactly, but we are engaged to be wed 98 00:10:35,593 --> 00:10:37,303 the minute his own marriage breaks up. 99 00:10:37,345 --> 00:10:39,931 Anyway, we had this... this, er... rendezvous 100 00:10:40,014 --> 00:10:43,101 to meet in the park, and, er... I was just about ready 101 00:10:43,226 --> 00:10:46,229 to make a wish by throwin' in this penny, when... 102 00:10:46,396 --> 00:10:48,648 I don't know, I guess I must have slipped or somethin', 103 00:10:48,773 --> 00:10:50,859 'cause I lost my balance, and... 104 00:10:50,984 --> 00:10:53,194 Anyway, naturally, he made a grab for me, 105 00:10:53,236 --> 00:10:57,198 and all he caught was my handbag, and I fell in. That's what happened. 106 00:10:57,323 --> 00:10:58,616 - Yeah. - Uh-huh. 107 00:10:58,658 --> 00:10:59,826 - Sure. - Right. 108 00:10:59,909 --> 00:11:01,244 Where's my hair spray? 109 00:11:01,369 --> 00:11:05,039 Well, see, he couldn't jump in after me, 'cause of his bad back, you know. 110 00:11:05,164 --> 00:11:07,041 Anyway, so he ran off to get help. 111 00:11:07,166 --> 00:11:10,086 Where'd he go? The coast guard station in Norfolk, Virginia? 112 00:11:10,253 --> 00:11:14,716 Come on, honey. Didn't you leave one tiny little detail outta that story? 113 00:11:14,841 --> 00:11:18,386 - Like what? - Like there ain't one word of truth in it? 114 00:11:18,511 --> 00:11:20,597 Hello, men. 115 00:11:20,680 --> 00:11:24,434 Hey, Nickie, did you hear about Charity and her boyfriend? 116 00:11:24,559 --> 00:11:29,188 You're gonna get married. Oh, all the luck in the world, baby! 117 00:11:29,314 --> 00:11:31,774 He stole her money and pushed her in the lake. 118 00:11:31,900 --> 00:11:34,861 - He wasn't for you. - Excuse me, ladies. 119 00:11:34,986 --> 00:11:36,821 Prince Phillip just walked in, 120 00:11:36,905 --> 00:11:39,699 so park the gum behind your ears and drag it out on the floor. 121 00:11:39,824 --> 00:11:42,994 - Doesn't he ever knock? - It's a good thing we're decent. 122 00:11:44,203 --> 00:11:47,123 - He's gonna call. - Who? 123 00:11:47,206 --> 00:11:50,293 Charlie. He's gonna call. Any minute, he's gonna call, 124 00:11:50,418 --> 00:11:54,881 and he's gonna have a very perfectly logical explanation for this whole thing. 125 00:11:55,006 --> 00:11:57,216 - (PHONE RINGING) - See, what did I tell ya? 126 00:11:58,718 --> 00:12:00,553 Charlie! 127 00:12:03,264 --> 00:12:05,516 - It's for you. - Yeah? 128 00:12:06,476 --> 00:12:08,436 NICKIE: You know what your big problem is? 129 00:12:08,519 --> 00:12:10,521 You run your heart like a hotel. 130 00:12:10,647 --> 00:12:13,149 You got guys checkin' in and out all the time. 131 00:12:13,274 --> 00:12:15,151 And you always get stuck with the bill. 132 00:12:15,276 --> 00:12:17,946 This time it's different. He loves me. 133 00:12:20,281 --> 00:12:22,742 I mean, when somebody has their name 134 00:12:22,825 --> 00:12:25,036 tattooed on your arm, so it'll be there forever, 135 00:12:25,161 --> 00:12:28,039 does that sound like the sort of fella's gonna push you in the lake 136 00:12:28,164 --> 00:12:30,458 for 427 measly bucks? 137 00:12:30,541 --> 00:12:31,626 - Yeah. - Uh-huh. 138 00:12:31,709 --> 00:12:32,543 - Sure. - Right. 139 00:12:32,669 --> 00:12:33,753 Where's my hair spray? 140 00:12:33,836 --> 00:12:36,339 Forget him, baby. We got a livin' to make. 141 00:12:36,464 --> 00:12:38,466 If you call this a living. 142 00:12:38,591 --> 00:12:41,260 He's gonna call. You'll see. 143 00:12:41,386 --> 00:12:43,304 Sure. 144 00:12:54,399 --> 00:12:58,069 CHARITY: ♪ Since I like you very much 145 00:12:59,195 --> 00:13:02,949 ♪ So very, very much 146 00:13:03,074 --> 00:13:04,784 ♪ I'm... ♪ 147 00:13:05,493 --> 00:13:07,453 Oh, Charlie. 148 00:14:05,678 --> 00:14:09,033 - Hey, mister, can I talk to you for a minute? - Got a cigarette for me, mister, huh? 149 00:14:09,057 --> 00:14:10,808 Hey, mister, do you speak Spanish? 150 00:14:10,850 --> 00:14:13,436 Hey, tiger, you wanna dance? A little dance won't hurt you. 151 00:14:13,561 --> 00:14:15,247 Come here, cowboy. Wanna tell you somethin'. 152 00:14:15,271 --> 00:14:18,983 - Moshi moshi, e'kaga desu-ka, baby? - Oh, you're so tall. 153 00:14:19,067 --> 00:14:20,985 Let's have some fun. 154 00:14:22,153 --> 00:14:24,113 Pssss! 155 00:14:24,614 --> 00:14:26,694 Sss-sss-sss-sss-sss-sss-sss-sss-sss-sss-sss-sss-sss! 156 00:14:31,079 --> 00:14:35,249 ♪ The minute you walked in the joint 157 00:14:35,333 --> 00:14:40,004 ♪ I could see you were a man of distinction 158 00:14:40,129 --> 00:14:43,591 ♪ A real big spender 159 00:14:43,716 --> 00:14:45,593 ♪ Good lookin' 160 00:14:45,676 --> 00:14:47,845 ♪ So refined 161 00:14:47,929 --> 00:14:53,059 ♪ Say, wouldn't you like to know what's goin' on in my mind? 162 00:14:53,101 --> 00:14:57,188 ♪ So let me get right to the point 163 00:14:57,313 --> 00:14:59,148 ♪ I don't pop my cork 164 00:14:59,232 --> 00:15:04,779 ♪ For every guy I see 165 00:15:05,321 --> 00:15:08,074 ♪ Hey, big spender! 166 00:15:10,451 --> 00:15:13,621 ♪ Spend 167 00:15:13,704 --> 00:15:16,624 ♪ A little time with 168 00:15:17,125 --> 00:15:19,418 ♪ Me 169 00:15:19,919 --> 00:15:22,296 ♪ Me 170 00:15:22,338 --> 00:15:24,590 ♪ Me 171 00:15:25,383 --> 00:15:27,718 ♪ Me 172 00:15:33,099 --> 00:15:36,644 ♪ Do you wanna have fun? 173 00:15:40,898 --> 00:15:44,152 Psssss! 174 00:15:44,193 --> 00:15:46,571 ♪ How's about a few 175 00:15:47,238 --> 00:15:48,698 ♪ Laughs? 176 00:15:49,824 --> 00:15:52,160 ♪ I can show you a 177 00:15:53,244 --> 00:15:57,665 ♪ Good time 178 00:15:57,874 --> 00:16:01,169 ♪ Do you wanna have fun? 179 00:16:01,210 --> 00:16:03,045 ♪ Fun, fun. 180 00:16:03,129 --> 00:16:05,756 ♪ How's about a few 181 00:16:05,798 --> 00:16:08,968 ♪ Laughs (fun), laughs (fun), laughs (fun)? 182 00:16:09,051 --> 00:16:12,889 -♪ I can show you a good time -♪ Laughs, laughs 183 00:16:12,972 --> 00:16:15,474 -♪ Fun, laughs -♪ Good time 184 00:16:15,600 --> 00:16:17,810 ♪ Fun, laughs ♪ Good time 185 00:16:17,935 --> 00:16:20,813 ♪ Fun, laughs, good time ♪ 186 00:16:24,192 --> 00:16:26,068 Pssss! 187 00:16:27,486 --> 00:16:29,488 - What do you say to a... - How's about a... 188 00:16:29,614 --> 00:16:31,866 - Laugh? - I could give you some... 189 00:16:31,949 --> 00:16:34,535 - Are you ready for some... - Fun? 190 00:16:34,660 --> 00:16:36,996 - How would you like a... - Let me show you a... 191 00:16:37,163 --> 00:16:41,584 (ALL) Good time! ♪ Hey, big spender! 192 00:16:43,669 --> 00:16:46,464 ♪ Hey, big spender! 193 00:16:50,426 --> 00:16:53,554 ♪ The minute you walked in the joint 194 00:16:54,680 --> 00:16:59,143 ♪ I could see you were a man of distinction 195 00:16:59,268 --> 00:17:02,647 ♪ A real big spender 196 00:17:02,730 --> 00:17:04,649 ♪ Good lookin' 197 00:17:04,774 --> 00:17:07,276 ♪ So refined 198 00:17:07,401 --> 00:17:11,781 ♪ Say, wouldn't you like to know what's goin' on in my mind? 199 00:17:11,864 --> 00:17:15,868 ♪ So let me get right to the point 200 00:17:15,993 --> 00:17:17,870 ♪ I don't pop my cork 201 00:17:17,995 --> 00:17:23,209 ♪ For every guy I see 202 00:17:23,334 --> 00:17:25,962 ♪ Hey, big spender! 203 00:17:28,923 --> 00:17:31,425 ♪ Hey, big spender! 204 00:17:33,886 --> 00:17:36,138 ♪ Hey, big spender! 205 00:17:39,183 --> 00:17:42,061 ♪ Spend 206 00:17:42,186 --> 00:17:45,064 ♪ A little time with 207 00:17:45,106 --> 00:17:47,358 ♪ Me 208 00:17:47,441 --> 00:17:49,944 ♪ Fun, laughs, good time 209 00:17:50,069 --> 00:17:52,571 ♪ Fun, laughs, good time 210 00:17:52,613 --> 00:17:55,658 ♪ Fun, laughs, good time ♪ 211 00:17:55,783 --> 00:17:57,451 How's about it, palsie? 212 00:17:57,576 --> 00:17:59,370 ALL: Yeah! 213 00:18:14,719 --> 00:18:15,761 - Hey, Herman. - Huh? 214 00:18:15,886 --> 00:18:18,055 - Anybody been askin' for me? - Uh-uh. 215 00:18:24,979 --> 00:18:28,858 NICKIE: Face it, honey. Charlie the pusher ain't comin' anymore. 216 00:18:28,983 --> 00:18:31,694 Gee, what's the matter with me? What am I? 217 00:18:31,819 --> 00:18:34,322 Oh, boy, am I stupid. Boy, am I a pushover. 218 00:18:34,447 --> 00:18:38,701 No, not a pushover exactly. It's just that you're too... 219 00:18:38,826 --> 00:18:41,495 Well, I don't know. You just keep on... 220 00:18:41,579 --> 00:18:43,039 Yeah, you're a pushover. 221 00:18:43,080 --> 00:18:45,791 If he stole your purse, why don't you call the cops? 222 00:18:45,833 --> 00:18:47,084 They can always pick him up. 223 00:18:47,126 --> 00:18:48,836 Oh, girl, do you know how many guys 224 00:18:48,919 --> 00:18:51,630 are runnin' around this city carryin' pocketbooks? 225 00:18:51,714 --> 00:18:54,342 Why'd he do it? Everything he ever wanted, I bought him. 226 00:18:54,467 --> 00:18:58,596 $11 shirts, $79 Italian silk suits. 227 00:18:58,721 --> 00:19:01,140 Just what'd I do wrong? 228 00:19:01,974 --> 00:19:06,270 I'd even get up in the middle of the night and buy him his meatball sandwiches. 229 00:19:06,354 --> 00:19:09,482 Boy, did he love those meatball sandwiches. 230 00:19:10,524 --> 00:19:13,444 Well, I have had it up to here with that creep. 231 00:19:13,569 --> 00:19:15,005 - Go, baby, go! - Now you're talkin'! 232 00:19:15,029 --> 00:19:20,034 He can go slip and slide his greasy head on somebody else's shoulder. 233 00:19:20,201 --> 00:19:23,829 I'm finished! I'm through, do you hear me? 234 00:19:23,913 --> 00:19:26,791 I'm tired of buyin' him pointed shoes, 235 00:19:26,916 --> 00:19:30,961 and his trips to Florida, and his three-horse parlays. 236 00:19:31,545 --> 00:19:35,174 Who does he think he is, shovin' girls into lakes? 237 00:19:35,299 --> 00:19:37,676 Oh, boy, am I through givin'! 238 00:19:40,054 --> 00:19:44,600 Oh, I hope your tight Italian pants choke you to death! 239 00:19:45,476 --> 00:19:47,436 (SOBBING) 240 00:21:21,739 --> 00:21:23,574 Get me a taxi! 241 00:21:23,699 --> 00:21:24,492 (WHISTLE BLOWING) 242 00:21:24,533 --> 00:21:28,329 Ursula, stop acting like a child. 243 00:21:28,954 --> 00:21:30,581 Vittorio Vitale! 244 00:21:32,416 --> 00:21:35,836 Hey! That's Vittorio Vitale, the Italian movie star! 245 00:21:35,961 --> 00:21:37,963 Ursula, I can explain everything. 246 00:21:38,088 --> 00:21:40,174 Don't touch me. We're through. 247 00:21:40,299 --> 00:21:42,384 I hate you. Do you hear me? I hate you. 248 00:21:42,510 --> 00:21:44,094 She really knows him! 249 00:21:44,303 --> 00:21:47,181 Ursula, I merely said "hello" to that girl. 250 00:21:47,264 --> 00:21:48,974 "Hello." That's all. 251 00:21:49,141 --> 00:21:51,268 I do not want to discuss it. 252 00:21:51,393 --> 00:21:53,771 Now, you can't walk out on me like this. 253 00:21:53,854 --> 00:21:57,441 I can't? Well, just watch me. Just watch me. 254 00:21:57,566 --> 00:21:59,318 Watch! Watch! You're not watching. 255 00:21:59,401 --> 00:22:03,489 - URSULA: Where's my taxi? - (PIERCING WHISTLE) Taxi! 256 00:22:04,323 --> 00:22:05,824 Taxi! 257 00:22:08,244 --> 00:22:10,621 - You are coming back inside. - I am not! 258 00:22:10,746 --> 00:22:12,540 - Oh, yes, you are. - No, I'm not! 259 00:22:12,623 --> 00:22:13,791 Yes, you are. 260 00:22:13,916 --> 00:22:15,084 (YELLING IN PAIN) 261 00:22:15,125 --> 00:22:16,544 (HORN HONKING) 262 00:22:18,254 --> 00:22:21,006 Ursula! Ursula! 263 00:22:21,131 --> 00:22:22,967 Ursula! 264 00:22:28,138 --> 00:22:30,349 Oh, scusi, signorina. Scusi. 265 00:22:30,474 --> 00:22:32,393 My pleasure. 266 00:22:37,481 --> 00:22:39,441 (HORN HONKING) 267 00:22:52,705 --> 00:22:54,290 (HORN HONKING) 268 00:22:59,878 --> 00:23:01,839 Are you busy tonight? 269 00:23:02,506 --> 00:23:04,592 Hey, he wants to know if you're busy tonight. 270 00:23:05,259 --> 00:23:06,760 No, you. 271 00:23:07,928 --> 00:23:10,264 - Yes, you. - Me? 272 00:23:10,514 --> 00:23:14,101 - VITTORIO: Are you busy tonight? - What time? 273 00:23:14,184 --> 00:23:17,688 - Right now. - Right now is very good for me. 274 00:23:17,771 --> 00:23:19,648 Get in. 275 00:23:21,859 --> 00:23:23,694 CHARITY: I'm with him. 276 00:23:26,113 --> 00:23:27,823 (HORN HONKING) 277 00:23:29,283 --> 00:23:30,534 (HORN HONKING) 278 00:23:35,456 --> 00:23:39,418 Oh, that girl! She's driving me crazy. 279 00:23:39,543 --> 00:23:43,380 Wild fits of jealousy. I can't stand it any longer. She's impossible. 280 00:23:43,505 --> 00:23:47,176 - That was my first impression. - Childish, neurotic, selfish. 281 00:23:47,259 --> 00:23:49,553 That was my second impression. 282 00:23:49,637 --> 00:23:52,306 Well, it's finished. 283 00:23:52,389 --> 00:23:54,391 She's just not worth it. 284 00:23:54,433 --> 00:23:57,436 Well, on the other hand, you know, 285 00:23:57,519 --> 00:23:59,355 she's not so bad in the looks department. 286 00:23:59,438 --> 00:24:02,858 Oh, yes. Yes, you're right. She is very beautiful. 287 00:24:02,941 --> 00:24:04,669 Well, I mean, if you go for that sort of thing. 288 00:24:04,693 --> 00:24:07,655 No, you are right. You are absolutely right. 289 00:24:07,780 --> 00:24:09,365 She is... 290 00:24:09,448 --> 00:24:10,908 gorgeous. 291 00:24:13,619 --> 00:24:15,996 I think I just screwed myself up. 292 00:24:27,341 --> 00:24:28,425 (WHISTLE BLOWING) 293 00:24:33,180 --> 00:24:34,264 (KNOCKING) 294 00:24:36,266 --> 00:24:38,936 I'm, er... I'm with him. 295 00:25:40,914 --> 00:25:42,708 (INAUDIBLE) 296 00:26:11,236 --> 00:26:13,590 - Who's that with Vittorio? - WOMAN: She doesn't look familiar. 297 00:26:13,614 --> 00:26:15,675 - MAN #2: Who can she be? - WOMAN #2: What happened to Ursula? 298 00:26:15,699 --> 00:26:17,326 - Who is it? - Who is it? 299 00:26:17,409 --> 00:26:19,119 - Who is it? - Who is it? 300 00:26:19,161 --> 00:26:20,829 - Who is it? - Who is it? 301 00:26:20,954 --> 00:26:22,831 - Who is it? - Who is it? 302 00:26:23,499 --> 00:26:25,209 It's me! (CHUCKLING) 303 00:26:25,459 --> 00:26:28,754 Wow! This place sure is crawlin' with celebrities. 304 00:26:28,879 --> 00:26:31,799 I'm the only person here I never heard of. 305 00:26:31,924 --> 00:26:34,551 (MUSIC PLAYING) 306 00:30:54,519 --> 00:30:58,023 ALL: Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah! 307 00:31:02,569 --> 00:31:06,114 Oooooh... Yeah, yeah. 308 00:31:06,239 --> 00:31:10,077 Ooooh... Yeah, yeah. 309 00:31:10,202 --> 00:31:11,995 Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. 310 00:31:12,120 --> 00:31:13,914 Yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. 311 00:31:18,293 --> 00:31:19,961 - Oh! - Oh! 312 00:31:20,003 --> 00:31:21,713 - Yeah! - Yeah! 313 00:31:21,838 --> 00:31:22,839 - Oh! - Oh! 314 00:31:22,923 --> 00:31:23,923 - Yeah! - Yeah! 315 00:31:23,965 --> 00:31:26,593 - Oh! Yeah! Oh! Yeah! - ALL: Yeah! 316 00:31:37,771 --> 00:31:39,356 - Oh! - ALL: Oh! 317 00:31:39,439 --> 00:31:41,483 - Gimme yeah! - Yeah! 318 00:31:41,608 --> 00:31:42,359 - Oh! - Oh! 319 00:31:42,484 --> 00:31:43,318 - Yeah! - Yeah! 320 00:31:43,401 --> 00:31:46,154 - Oh! Yeah! - Oh! Yeah! 321 00:32:13,223 --> 00:32:16,768 Excuse me, signor Vitale. There is a phone call. 322 00:32:18,854 --> 00:32:21,731 It's Ursula. Look how she knows me. 323 00:32:21,773 --> 00:32:24,901 No matter where I go, she knows how to find me. 324 00:32:25,026 --> 00:32:28,280 Well, I know her, too. She'll cry and plead with me 325 00:32:28,363 --> 00:32:30,574 to come to her apartment. 326 00:32:32,659 --> 00:32:36,079 What should I do? Be magnanimous and forgive her, 327 00:32:36,204 --> 00:32:37,956 or be aloof? 328 00:32:38,039 --> 00:32:39,749 - "Aloof" sounds good. - You think so? 329 00:32:39,833 --> 00:32:41,668 The aloof er the better. 330 00:32:42,294 --> 00:32:45,589 - I am not here. - Now I really feel great. 331 00:32:45,714 --> 00:32:48,675 I could eat a horse. I was only kidding. 332 00:32:48,758 --> 00:32:50,385 Now, we dance! 333 00:32:50,468 --> 00:32:52,554 Yeah, I wasn't hungry anyway. 334 00:33:28,381 --> 00:33:30,508 Oh! Oh, damn it! 335 00:33:48,443 --> 00:33:51,071 - I'm so sorry. Really I am. - It's all right. 336 00:33:51,196 --> 00:33:53,365 It's all right. 337 00:33:53,448 --> 00:33:56,076 - Where are we? - My place. Come on. 338 00:33:56,993 --> 00:34:00,413 Your place? Hey, wait. Just a second. 339 00:34:00,538 --> 00:34:03,833 Get in the car, get outta the car, go here, go there, your pla... 340 00:34:03,959 --> 00:34:07,796 You think you can just "your place" and, er... any time you feel like it, huh? 341 00:34:08,046 --> 00:34:09,631 Coming? 342 00:34:09,798 --> 00:34:11,174 Yeah. 343 00:34:21,184 --> 00:34:22,394 Good evening, sir. 344 00:34:22,519 --> 00:34:24,479 - I'm with him. - Oh. 345 00:34:28,566 --> 00:34:30,068 Thank you. 346 00:34:32,696 --> 00:34:34,990 - VITTORIO: Were there any calls, Manfred? - None, sir. 347 00:34:35,073 --> 00:34:36,241 - No calls? - None, sir. 348 00:34:36,366 --> 00:34:38,868 - Are you sure? - Positive, sir. 349 00:34:38,994 --> 00:34:40,870 Well, if there are any, I am not in. 350 00:34:40,954 --> 00:34:43,331 - Yes, sir. - And bring us a cold supper. 351 00:34:43,415 --> 00:34:45,083 Very good, sir. 352 00:34:48,295 --> 00:34:49,921 (SNAPPING FINGERS) 353 00:35:12,694 --> 00:35:14,529 What did you say your name was? 354 00:35:15,238 --> 00:35:17,073 Charity. Charity Hope Valentine. 355 00:35:19,784 --> 00:35:21,745 (SNAPPING FINGERS) 356 00:35:28,293 --> 00:35:31,546 - (CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYING) - Do you like Brahms? 357 00:35:31,629 --> 00:35:34,299 - Huh? - The music. 358 00:35:35,258 --> 00:35:37,969 Oh. Oh, yeah. 359 00:35:38,428 --> 00:35:41,014 It's got a... It's got a great beat. 360 00:35:41,181 --> 00:35:42,891 - Leave it. - Well, it'll get all... 361 00:35:43,016 --> 00:35:44,434 Leave it! 362 00:35:57,072 --> 00:35:59,366 And sit down. 363 00:36:07,082 --> 00:36:09,084 Talk to me. Tell me what you do. 364 00:36:09,709 --> 00:36:12,379 Oh, that'd just be a waste of time. 365 00:36:12,420 --> 00:36:15,131 - Why? - 'Cause I'd lie. 366 00:36:16,341 --> 00:36:18,259 Why should you lie? 367 00:36:18,802 --> 00:36:20,929 Because I really wanna make an impression on you, 368 00:36:20,970 --> 00:36:23,473 and if I told you the truth, what I really did, 369 00:36:23,598 --> 00:36:25,517 you wouldn't be impressed. 370 00:36:25,683 --> 00:36:28,812 Let me be the judge of that. What do you do? 371 00:36:31,731 --> 00:36:32,941 Um... 372 00:36:33,024 --> 00:36:34,943 (MUFFLED) I'm a dance hall hostess. 373 00:36:35,151 --> 00:36:36,903 (CHARITY CHUCKLING) 374 00:36:36,986 --> 00:36:38,905 A what? 375 00:36:39,030 --> 00:36:40,949 I'm a dance hall hostess. 376 00:36:41,074 --> 00:36:42,074 Oh. 377 00:36:42,117 --> 00:36:44,869 There, you see? You shoulda let me lie. 378 00:36:44,953 --> 00:36:47,330 I was gonna be an assistant dental technician. 379 00:36:47,455 --> 00:36:49,374 Well, that doesn't sound very impressive. 380 00:36:49,499 --> 00:36:51,501 It does to a dance hall hostess. 381 00:36:58,216 --> 00:37:00,218 Champagne? 382 00:37:03,513 --> 00:37:06,724 (EXHALING) I don't mind if I do. 383 00:37:06,808 --> 00:37:09,811 Why did you ever take a job like that? 384 00:37:10,437 --> 00:37:12,439 I don't know. 385 00:37:12,564 --> 00:37:14,524 Fickle finger of fate, I guess. 386 00:37:14,566 --> 00:37:17,861 - What? - Fickle finger of fate. 387 00:37:17,986 --> 00:37:20,655 - Don't you know what that means? - Yes, I think so. 388 00:37:20,738 --> 00:37:23,366 Well, I don't. Not really. 389 00:37:23,450 --> 00:37:25,452 But see, these things always seem to happen to me, 390 00:37:25,493 --> 00:37:27,704 and I never know why or how. 391 00:37:27,745 --> 00:37:29,706 And people are always comin' up to me, askin': 392 00:37:29,789 --> 00:37:31,541 "Why did you take up with that guy?" 393 00:37:31,624 --> 00:37:33,751 Or "How come you wound up in that joint?" 394 00:37:33,793 --> 00:37:37,714 And I always felt so dumb ea yin', "I don't know." 395 00:37:37,839 --> 00:37:40,800 But it was the truth. I don't. 396 00:37:40,884 --> 00:37:43,261 I guess you're supposed to know why you do things or... 397 00:37:43,386 --> 00:37:45,763 how come you wind up places. 398 00:37:46,931 --> 00:37:50,602 Anyway, now whenever anybody says "why?" or "how?" to me, 399 00:37:50,685 --> 00:37:54,564 I just say, "Fickle finger of fate", and then I don't feel so dumb. 400 00:37:54,731 --> 00:37:56,983 I think you just like saying it. 401 00:37:57,525 --> 00:37:59,819 - I think you're right. - (VITTORIO CHUCKLING) 402 00:37:59,861 --> 00:38:02,530 - "Fickle finger of fate." - There, you see? 403 00:38:02,614 --> 00:38:05,116 - "Fickle finger of fate." - (VITTORIO LAUGHING) 404 00:38:05,241 --> 00:38:07,118 "Fickle finger of fate! Fickle finger of fate!" 405 00:38:07,202 --> 00:38:10,121 "Fickle finger of fate! Fickle finger of fate!" 406 00:38:10,205 --> 00:38:11,289 You wanna try? 407 00:38:11,331 --> 00:38:13,249 - Nn-nnn. - Oh, it feels good. Really, it does. 408 00:38:13,333 --> 00:38:14,584 It cools the mouth. 409 00:38:14,626 --> 00:38:17,086 Oh, try it just once. "Fickle finger of fate." 410 00:38:17,128 --> 00:38:19,589 - No, no. - Say it. Just once. 411 00:38:20,632 --> 00:38:22,383 All right. 412 00:38:23,384 --> 00:38:24,719 "Fickle finger of fate." 413 00:38:24,761 --> 00:38:26,030 - You like it? - That's very nice. 414 00:38:26,054 --> 00:38:27,639 It does cool the mouth. 415 00:38:27,680 --> 00:38:29,849 Oh, I got lots of phrases I like to say. 416 00:38:29,891 --> 00:38:32,018 Like if some wisenheimer down at the Fandango 417 00:38:32,101 --> 00:38:34,301 says somethin' dirty to me sometime, or somethin' fresh, 418 00:38:34,395 --> 00:38:36,898 and I can't think fast enough to answer, 419 00:38:36,981 --> 00:38:39,609 I like to say, "Up yours". 420 00:38:40,527 --> 00:38:42,028 (SWALLOWING) 421 00:38:42,779 --> 00:38:44,239 You do? 422 00:38:44,906 --> 00:38:47,951 Oh, yeah, that really works. It fits just about any situation. 423 00:38:48,952 --> 00:38:51,829 But I wouldn't say it to anyone as refined as yourself. 424 00:38:51,913 --> 00:38:54,624 But, I can say "Fickle finger of fate", can't I? 425 00:38:54,666 --> 00:38:56,084 You certainly can. 426 00:38:56,209 --> 00:38:58,009 - (CHARITY CHUCKLING) - You have a nice laugh. 427 00:39:00,547 --> 00:39:02,465 You have a nice everything. 428 00:39:03,591 --> 00:39:05,969 What shall we drink to, huh? 429 00:39:06,094 --> 00:39:07,929 Oh, I know, I know. 430 00:39:07,971 --> 00:39:10,765 - To the fickle finger... - Finger of fate. 431 00:39:10,848 --> 00:39:12,976 - Bottoms up. - Up yours. 432 00:39:13,101 --> 00:39:14,352 Oh! 433 00:39:14,435 --> 00:39:16,396 - Pow! - (VITTORIO CHUCKLING) 434 00:39:16,521 --> 00:39:18,231 It just slipped out. 435 00:39:19,190 --> 00:39:20,858 You're marvellous. 436 00:39:21,234 --> 00:39:22,860 Really marvellous. 437 00:39:23,861 --> 00:39:25,738 - I am? - Mmm. 438 00:39:27,031 --> 00:39:31,786 Wow. That is really somethin', comin' from the Vittorio Vitale. 439 00:39:31,869 --> 00:39:34,956 What makes you think the Vittorio Vitale is anything special? 440 00:39:35,707 --> 00:39:37,851 Are you kidding? Haven't you ever seen you in the movies? 441 00:39:37,875 --> 00:39:39,961 I like to think I have better taste than that. 442 00:39:40,169 --> 00:39:42,005 Oh, you don't know what you're missin'. 443 00:39:42,088 --> 00:39:45,592 Remember the one you did with that Italian actress Micka Minickeli? 444 00:39:45,717 --> 00:39:48,094 - Monica Monicelli. - Yeah. 445 00:39:48,219 --> 00:39:51,014 Er... Passion in Palermo, I think it was called. 446 00:39:51,139 --> 00:39:53,891 And there was this scene. She was crying. 447 00:39:54,017 --> 00:39:58,271 And you bent down, and you kissed every single one of her fingers, 448 00:39:58,354 --> 00:40:00,940 from her pinky to her thumb. You remember that? 449 00:40:01,024 --> 00:40:02,191 Fortunately, no. 450 00:40:02,233 --> 00:40:04,569 Oh, boy, I remember it. I'll never forget it. 451 00:40:06,154 --> 00:40:07,905 And then you said, 452 00:40:08,531 --> 00:40:11,909 "Without love, life has no purpose." 453 00:40:11,993 --> 00:40:15,330 (SNORTING) The things I say for money. 454 00:40:15,955 --> 00:40:18,041 Did that ever hit home! 455 00:40:18,166 --> 00:40:22,211 Did you get me where I live! 456 00:40:22,754 --> 00:40:25,006 I sat through the whole film and six marshmallow bars 457 00:40:25,089 --> 00:40:27,342 just to hear that one line again. 458 00:40:27,425 --> 00:40:30,928 "Without love, life has no purpose." 459 00:40:32,764 --> 00:40:34,724 Is that what you believe? 460 00:40:36,559 --> 00:40:38,519 Sure. Doesn't everybody? 461 00:40:39,103 --> 00:40:41,064 No, not everybody. 462 00:40:42,357 --> 00:40:44,400 Tell me, why do you believe in love? 463 00:40:44,484 --> 00:40:46,295 Everybody's gotta have some religion, don't they? 464 00:40:46,319 --> 00:40:48,321 And so your religion is love? 465 00:40:49,864 --> 00:40:52,784 Well, I'll tell you one thing, I sure go to church a lot. 466 00:40:57,163 --> 00:40:59,666 You know, I see you sitting here with my own eyes, 467 00:40:59,749 --> 00:41:02,460 but I find it hard to believe that you really exist. 468 00:41:02,669 --> 00:41:04,629 (BUZZER) 469 00:41:07,965 --> 00:41:09,008 Yes? 470 00:41:09,092 --> 00:41:10,802 Ah, no, no. Thank you, Manfred. 471 00:41:10,843 --> 00:41:13,096 I'll... I'll take care of it myself. Good night. 472 00:41:17,392 --> 00:41:19,310 Our supper. 473 00:41:37,328 --> 00:41:39,122 Caviar. 474 00:41:39,664 --> 00:41:41,416 Cold lobster. 475 00:41:42,709 --> 00:41:44,460 Brochette. 476 00:41:44,961 --> 00:41:46,796 And melon. 477 00:41:46,879 --> 00:41:48,589 May I fix you a plate? 478 00:42:02,979 --> 00:42:04,939 What's the matter? 479 00:42:04,981 --> 00:42:06,816 They'll never believe it. 480 00:42:07,650 --> 00:42:08,776 Believe what? 481 00:42:08,860 --> 00:42:12,447 That I'm here, in Vittorio Vitale's bedroom, 482 00:42:13,281 --> 00:42:16,284 drinkin' champagne, and he's servin' me dinner. 483 00:42:17,160 --> 00:42:19,328 - Who won't believe it? - My girlfriends. 484 00:42:21,289 --> 00:42:22,749 What can we do about it? 485 00:42:27,211 --> 00:42:28,838 CHARITY: Do you think... 486 00:42:28,921 --> 00:42:30,339 VITTORIO: What? 487 00:42:30,423 --> 00:42:32,675 - CHARITY: That... - Yes? 488 00:42:34,719 --> 00:42:37,764 CHARITY: Could I have a personally autographed picture? 489 00:42:40,892 --> 00:42:44,353 You can have me in profile or full face, 490 00:42:44,479 --> 00:42:46,856 with moustache, clean-shaven, 491 00:42:46,939 --> 00:42:48,900 smiling, or sexy. 492 00:42:48,983 --> 00:42:53,070 Oh, I will take that clean-shaven, full-faced and sexy one. 493 00:42:54,906 --> 00:42:56,991 - For... - Charity. 494 00:42:57,074 --> 00:42:59,076 For Charity, um... 495 00:42:59,118 --> 00:43:01,579 Who was with me tonight... 496 00:43:02,663 --> 00:43:04,540 in my apartment. 497 00:43:06,459 --> 00:43:07,919 Alone. 498 00:43:08,294 --> 00:43:09,754 Alone. 499 00:43:10,004 --> 00:43:11,464 I swear it. 500 00:43:12,173 --> 00:43:15,009 - Vittorio Vit... - Yes, yes, I know the rest. 501 00:43:19,013 --> 00:43:20,598 Eccola. 502 00:43:21,974 --> 00:43:24,310 Wow! You even write great! 503 00:43:26,270 --> 00:43:28,189 Oh, what a night for me! 504 00:43:30,441 --> 00:43:32,944 Tomorrow, you're movin' right into my locker, 505 00:43:33,069 --> 00:43:35,488 and every time I open the door, pow! 506 00:43:36,781 --> 00:43:39,242 Oh, they're... they're not gonna believe this. 507 00:43:39,325 --> 00:43:41,744 They're gonna think this is a forgery. 508 00:43:45,081 --> 00:43:47,625 - Where you goin'? - You wait for me. 509 00:43:48,334 --> 00:43:50,086 I'll be right back. 510 00:43:51,379 --> 00:43:52,588 Now, don't go away. 511 00:43:52,630 --> 00:43:55,216 Hurricane Hazel could strike. I'm not movin'. 512 00:44:40,887 --> 00:44:43,139 ♪ If they 513 00:44:43,264 --> 00:44:45,892 ♪ Could see me now 514 00:44:45,933 --> 00:44:48,060 ♪ That little gang of mine 515 00:44:48,144 --> 00:44:51,856 ♪ I'm eatin' fancy chow and drinkin' fancy wine 516 00:44:51,981 --> 00:44:55,902 ♪ I'd like those stumblebums to see for a fact 517 00:44:56,027 --> 00:44:59,864 ♪ The kind of top-drawer first-rate chums I attract. 518 00:44:59,989 --> 00:45:03,868 ♪ All I can say is "wow-wee, look at where I am" 519 00:45:03,993 --> 00:45:08,164 ♪ Tonight I landed... pow! right in a pot of jam 520 00:45:08,205 --> 00:45:10,917 ♪ What a set-up, holy cow 521 00:45:11,042 --> 00:45:14,337 ♪ They'd never believe it if my friends could see me 522 00:45:14,420 --> 00:45:16,339 ♪ Now 523 00:45:30,728 --> 00:45:32,647 ♪ They'd never believe it 524 00:45:34,899 --> 00:45:36,233 ♪ They'd never believe it 525 00:45:36,859 --> 00:45:38,194 ♪ They'd never believe it 526 00:45:38,986 --> 00:45:40,196 ♪ They'd never believe it 527 00:45:40,988 --> 00:45:42,990 ♪ They'd never believe it 528 00:45:43,074 --> 00:45:44,241 ♪ They'd never believe it 529 00:45:45,076 --> 00:45:46,535 ♪ They'd never believe it 530 00:45:47,036 --> 00:45:49,538 ♪ They'd never believe it ♪ Oh! 531 00:45:52,208 --> 00:45:55,211 Do you think this will do? I used it in my first film. 532 00:45:56,629 --> 00:45:57,672 Oh! 533 00:45:58,589 --> 00:46:01,258 Oh, what a beautiful... 534 00:46:02,301 --> 00:46:04,261 black thing. 535 00:46:04,387 --> 00:46:05,972 It's a hat. 536 00:46:06,514 --> 00:46:08,515 - (POPPING SOUND) - Eccola. 537 00:46:08,516 --> 00:46:11,394 - You see? My initials. - (CHARITY GASPING) 538 00:46:12,269 --> 00:46:13,854 It is yours. 539 00:46:14,438 --> 00:46:16,399 Now, wait. There's more. 540 00:46:19,151 --> 00:46:20,695 (POPPING SOUND) 541 00:47:06,949 --> 00:47:09,785 ♪ If they could 542 00:47:09,910 --> 00:47:13,831 ♪ See me now, my little dusty group 543 00:47:13,956 --> 00:47:17,126 ♪ Traipsin' round this million-dollar chicken coop 544 00:47:17,293 --> 00:47:21,047 ♪ I'd hear those thrift shop cats say "Brother, get her" 545 00:47:21,172 --> 00:47:25,301 ♪ Draped on a bedspread made from three kinds of fur 546 00:47:25,384 --> 00:47:27,553 ♪ All I can say is "wow!" 547 00:47:27,636 --> 00:47:29,472 ♪ Wait till the riff and raff 548 00:47:29,555 --> 00:47:31,515 ♪ See just exactly how 549 00:47:31,599 --> 00:47:33,601 ♪ He signed his autograph 550 00:47:33,684 --> 00:47:36,479 ♪ What a build-up, holy cow 551 00:47:36,604 --> 00:47:37,772 ♪ They'd never believe it 552 00:47:37,855 --> 00:47:42,151 ♪ If my friends could see me now ♪ 553 00:47:59,085 --> 00:48:01,087 - (VITTORIO CHUCKLING) - CHARITY: Hi. 554 00:48:01,212 --> 00:48:04,298 - Ciao. - Boy, this is some terrific mattress. 555 00:48:07,259 --> 00:48:08,636 My initials. 556 00:48:09,178 --> 00:48:10,596 This, also, is for you. 557 00:48:10,721 --> 00:48:12,598 - Oh, I couldn't. - You must. 558 00:48:12,681 --> 00:48:14,558 - Oh, really, I can't. - I insist. 559 00:48:14,600 --> 00:48:15,851 I'll take it. 560 00:48:15,976 --> 00:48:18,104 I'll go see if there is anything else. 561 00:48:22,608 --> 00:48:24,819 Ciao, Vittorio, baby! 562 00:48:27,988 --> 00:48:29,824 ♪ If they could see me now 563 00:48:29,865 --> 00:48:32,159 ♪ Alone with Mr V 564 00:48:32,201 --> 00:48:35,371 ♪ Who's waitin' on me like he was a maître d' 565 00:48:35,496 --> 00:48:39,250 ♪ I hear my buddies ea yin' "crazy, what gives?" 566 00:48:39,333 --> 00:48:43,129 ♪ Tonight she's livin' like the other half lives 567 00:48:43,254 --> 00:48:47,091 ♪ To think the highest brow, which I must say is he 568 00:48:47,216 --> 00:48:51,137 ♪ Should pick the lowest brow, which there's no doubt is me 569 00:48:51,262 --> 00:48:53,973 ♪ What a step-up, holy cow 570 00:48:54,098 --> 00:48:57,101 ♪ They'd never believe it if my friends 571 00:48:57,226 --> 00:48:59,145 ♪ Could 572 00:49:00,229 --> 00:49:02,106 ♪ See me 573 00:49:03,149 --> 00:49:05,025 ♪ Now 574 00:50:05,169 --> 00:50:07,129 ♪ They'd never believe it 575 00:50:09,506 --> 00:50:12,301 ♪ They'd never believe it if my friends 576 00:50:12,384 --> 00:50:15,179 ♪ Could see me... ♪ 577 00:50:16,889 --> 00:50:19,808 Hey, girls. Look! It's me! 578 00:50:19,934 --> 00:50:21,810 Charity! 579 00:50:39,411 --> 00:50:40,621 Oh! 580 00:50:40,788 --> 00:50:44,041 Oh, boy, you know this... this is some terrific floor. 581 00:50:48,295 --> 00:50:50,506 (SQUEAKING) 582 00:50:51,382 --> 00:50:55,094 Miss Charity Hope Valentine. 583 00:50:55,135 --> 00:50:59,223 Since I could find nothing else, in all of my possessions, 584 00:50:59,348 --> 00:51:02,893 that could truly express my warm feelings for you, 585 00:51:02,977 --> 00:51:04,895 for what you have done tonight, 586 00:51:06,188 --> 00:51:08,941 for what you have given me, 587 00:51:09,066 --> 00:51:12,361 I ask you please to accept this. 588 00:51:18,909 --> 00:51:20,536 Oh, wow! 589 00:51:20,869 --> 00:51:22,204 I accept. 590 00:51:23,414 --> 00:51:25,249 And may I just say 591 00:51:25,291 --> 00:51:27,710 that I never received such a gift 592 00:51:27,793 --> 00:51:30,087 in such a gorgeous package. 593 00:51:32,631 --> 00:51:36,302 Mr Vitale, you've been so terrific to me. 594 00:51:37,261 --> 00:51:39,763 I think that this is... this is the best time 595 00:51:39,805 --> 00:51:42,683 I ever spent in my whole life. 596 00:51:44,518 --> 00:51:46,520 No, no, no, please. 597 00:51:46,645 --> 00:51:48,689 (BUZZER) 598 00:51:51,900 --> 00:51:54,737 Suppose you eat your supper, huh? 599 00:51:56,613 --> 00:51:58,032 Pronto. 600 00:51:58,741 --> 00:52:01,869 Well, tell her I'm asleep. No, tell her I'm dead. 601 00:52:01,994 --> 00:52:03,996 Well, tell her th... 602 00:52:04,121 --> 00:52:05,581 What? 603 00:52:06,749 --> 00:52:08,709 Accidenti! 604 00:52:08,959 --> 00:52:10,836 Lock the door. Lock the door. 605 00:52:12,171 --> 00:52:13,630 It's Ursula. 606 00:52:13,964 --> 00:52:15,424 She's here. 607 00:52:15,924 --> 00:52:17,926 What should I do? 608 00:52:17,968 --> 00:52:19,970 What should I do? 609 00:52:20,596 --> 00:52:23,974 If you want my opinion, we don't really need her. 610 00:52:24,475 --> 00:52:26,935 And in my opinion, we don't really need her. 611 00:52:27,019 --> 00:52:28,979 - (DOOR RATTLING) - (KNOCKING) 612 00:52:29,188 --> 00:52:30,481 Vittorio! 613 00:52:30,606 --> 00:52:32,775 Vittorio, I know you're in there. Let me in. 614 00:52:32,858 --> 00:52:35,069 Oh, Ursula, go away. 615 00:52:35,194 --> 00:52:38,155 - Vittorio, please. - No. 616 00:52:38,280 --> 00:52:40,824 - Please? - No! 617 00:52:40,949 --> 00:52:44,578 - Please! - I can't stand it. Let her in. 618 00:52:44,703 --> 00:52:46,580 Yes, you're right. 619 00:52:48,499 --> 00:52:50,167 (KNOCKING) 620 00:52:53,629 --> 00:52:55,214 In here. 621 00:52:56,423 --> 00:52:58,543 - I'll get rid of her as soon as I can. - But... oh... 622 00:52:58,634 --> 00:53:00,469 - (KNOCKING) - VITTORIO: In a second! 623 00:53:00,636 --> 00:53:03,764 Vittorio, let me in. Don't treat me this way. 624 00:53:04,556 --> 00:53:07,768 - I almost forgot. - Oh. Thank you. 625 00:53:07,851 --> 00:53:10,104 - Thank you. - Here. 626 00:53:10,145 --> 00:53:13,190 Oh, if you get a chance, I'd love a cold beer. 627 00:53:13,399 --> 00:53:14,900 Yeah. 628 00:53:16,151 --> 00:53:19,822 URSULA: Vittorio, I'm not leaving until you open this door. 629 00:53:24,993 --> 00:53:28,831 Oh, Vittorio, what took you so long? What's going on in here? 630 00:53:28,956 --> 00:53:30,999 Oh, is that why you came back? 631 00:53:31,083 --> 00:53:33,127 To accuse me again, huh? 632 00:53:33,168 --> 00:53:35,796 - You have someone else in here. - Oh? Very well. 633 00:53:35,921 --> 00:53:38,424 I picked up a girl off the street, and, er... 634 00:53:38,465 --> 00:53:39,842 she's hiding in the closet. 635 00:53:39,883 --> 00:53:41,051 I don't believe you. 636 00:53:41,135 --> 00:53:44,513 - VITTORIO: Well, look for yourself. - URSULA: All right, I will. 637 00:53:49,935 --> 00:53:52,146 Oh, what's the matter with me? 638 00:53:52,271 --> 00:53:56,483 You wouldn't stoop so low as to hide another woman in a closet. 639 00:53:56,608 --> 00:53:59,403 Oh, I don't know what comes over me. 640 00:53:59,528 --> 00:54:03,490 The thought of you with another woman just drives me insane. 641 00:54:03,615 --> 00:54:06,160 Why do I torture myself this way? 642 00:54:06,243 --> 00:54:07,286 Why? 643 00:54:07,828 --> 00:54:08,704 Why? 644 00:54:08,745 --> 00:54:11,081 - Why? - (THUMPING DOOR LOUDLY) 645 00:54:11,790 --> 00:54:15,794 If I knew you really cared, I'd give you anything. 646 00:54:17,171 --> 00:54:19,673 I care, cara mia. 647 00:54:19,756 --> 00:54:22,176 Of course I care. 648 00:54:22,301 --> 00:54:24,261 But why can't we discuss this in the morning? 649 00:54:25,596 --> 00:54:28,182 URSULA: Do you care, Vittorio? Do you really care? 650 00:54:28,265 --> 00:54:30,934 Of course I care. 651 00:54:31,059 --> 00:54:32,936 Of course I care. 652 00:54:33,061 --> 00:54:35,814 - URSULA: Really? - VITTORIO: Really. 653 00:54:35,939 --> 00:54:38,859 You know, Ursula, I don't understand 654 00:54:38,901 --> 00:54:41,278 why we torture each other this way. 655 00:54:41,403 --> 00:54:44,406 Oh, because I'm a fool. Jealous fool. 656 00:54:44,531 --> 00:54:47,701 Oh, how could I have been so foolish as to believe you'd bring home 657 00:54:47,784 --> 00:54:49,912 some cheap little nothing? 658 00:54:50,829 --> 00:54:52,706 (MOUTHING SILENTLY) 659 00:54:53,040 --> 00:54:55,501 VITTORIO: Now, Ursula, I really do think you should go. 660 00:54:55,584 --> 00:54:58,295 It's so late, and I'm really very tired. 661 00:54:58,420 --> 00:55:01,131 We can have dinner tomorrow, all right? 662 00:55:03,592 --> 00:55:07,721 URSULA: Why don't you just lie down and relax? 663 00:55:08,138 --> 00:55:11,558 VITTORIO: No, no, I don't want to lie down. 664 00:55:12,309 --> 00:55:15,354 URSULA: Just for a moment, and then I'll go. 665 00:55:19,733 --> 00:55:22,110 VITTORIO: All right, but just for a moment. 666 00:55:28,367 --> 00:55:33,038 (VITTORIO AND URSULA CHUCKLING) 667 00:55:36,667 --> 00:55:39,086 Without you, there is no love. 668 00:55:43,131 --> 00:55:44,633 And without love, 669 00:55:46,593 --> 00:55:48,929 life has no purpose. 670 00:55:51,473 --> 00:55:53,475 (INAUDIBLE CONVERSATION) 671 00:56:05,529 --> 00:56:08,073 Oh, Ursula, Ursula. 672 00:56:08,156 --> 00:56:10,826 Mmm, Vittorio, Vittorio. 673 00:56:12,744 --> 00:56:14,371 Wow. 674 00:56:14,997 --> 00:56:17,249 Oh, talk about your foreign movies! 675 00:56:23,714 --> 00:56:25,716 ♪ If my friends 676 00:56:27,050 --> 00:56:28,302 ♪ Could 677 00:56:31,221 --> 00:56:32,431 ♪ See me 678 00:56:34,558 --> 00:56:35,809 ♪ Now ♪ 679 00:57:05,047 --> 00:57:06,340 Ssh-ssh-ssh. 680 00:57:06,423 --> 00:57:08,634 - (WHISPERING) It's morning. - Oh. 681 00:57:08,759 --> 00:57:11,553 - Good morning. - Good morning. 682 00:57:11,678 --> 00:57:15,223 - Are you all right? - Well, it's too soon to tell. 683 00:57:16,808 --> 00:57:17,809 Okay. 684 00:57:37,371 --> 00:57:38,914 Wow. 685 00:57:43,418 --> 00:57:46,880 Silk sheets! Must have cost a fortune. 686 00:58:00,811 --> 00:58:02,729 Thank you very much for everything. 687 00:58:02,771 --> 00:58:05,440 I'm... I am sorry the way things turned out. 688 00:58:05,565 --> 00:58:08,860 - No, it sorta figured, you know? - Why do you say that? 689 00:58:08,944 --> 00:58:10,946 Because you're you, and I'm me. 690 00:58:17,119 --> 00:58:20,789 - For the taxi. - No, you've given me enough already. Really. 691 00:58:27,170 --> 00:58:28,714 Oh, well... 692 00:58:41,518 --> 00:58:44,396 - Ciao. - Ciao. 693 00:58:51,445 --> 00:58:53,864 CHARITY: Well, first we go to this ritzy place, 694 00:58:53,905 --> 00:58:55,615 where we end up dancin' together. 695 00:58:55,741 --> 00:58:58,243 Oh, he is some terrific dancer! 696 00:58:58,326 --> 00:59:01,121 Then, we go back to his fashionable East Side apartment, 697 00:59:01,246 --> 00:59:03,331 except it was a whole, entire house, 698 00:59:03,457 --> 00:59:06,668 with so many rooms you needed a compass to find your way around. 699 00:59:06,793 --> 00:59:09,296 Then we just sort of sat around sippin' champagne 700 00:59:09,421 --> 00:59:12,048 and talkin' about life and things, you know. 701 00:59:12,174 --> 00:59:15,177 Oh, boy, it was some terrific night. 702 00:59:18,138 --> 00:59:21,892 So, come six o'clock in the morning, guess what he wants to do then? 703 00:59:21,975 --> 00:59:24,603 Send me home in his own personal, private limousine. 704 00:59:24,728 --> 00:59:26,772 But I say to him, "Vittorio, honey, forget it." 705 00:59:26,897 --> 00:59:29,149 "I enjoy walkin' when the sun's comin' up." 706 00:59:29,274 --> 00:59:31,818 But to tell you the truth, I didn't actually walk. 707 00:59:32,235 --> 00:59:34,446 I mean, I flew all the way home. 708 00:59:34,571 --> 00:59:36,364 My feet never once touched the ground. 709 00:59:36,490 --> 00:59:39,284 Yeah, well, you keep on smokin' them funny little cigarettes, 710 00:59:39,326 --> 00:59:41,286 you're bound to do a little ft yin'. 711 00:59:41,369 --> 00:59:43,288 I knew it. I knew you wouldn't believe 712 00:59:43,371 --> 00:59:45,499 I spent the entire evening with Vittorio Vitale. 713 00:59:45,582 --> 00:59:47,501 - You swear? - I swear. 714 00:59:47,584 --> 00:59:49,270 - On your mother's life? - On my mother's life. 715 00:59:49,294 --> 00:59:52,088 Hey, Wanda, call up and see how her mother is. 716 00:59:52,130 --> 00:59:53,548 All right, look. 717 00:59:54,758 --> 00:59:55,759 Look! 718 00:59:55,884 --> 00:59:58,303 What he gave me. And look what else. 719 00:59:59,554 --> 01:00:01,807 His cane. And his hat. 720 01:00:03,016 --> 01:00:05,101 Mementos of our evening together. 721 01:00:05,227 --> 01:00:09,606 Oh! Oh! Oh! His hat! (LAUGHING) 722 01:00:09,731 --> 01:00:11,608 Is that all he gave you? 723 01:00:11,691 --> 01:00:13,527 What do you mean, is that all? 724 01:00:13,568 --> 01:00:16,696 - Hi, team. - Hey, Nickie, did you hear about Charity 725 01:00:16,822 --> 01:00:19,366 spendin' the night with Vittorio Vitale? 726 01:00:19,449 --> 01:00:21,201 I don't believe it! 727 01:00:21,326 --> 01:00:23,870 And all she got for it was an old hat and a cane. 728 01:00:23,954 --> 01:00:24,996 I believe it. 729 01:00:25,038 --> 01:00:28,208 Oh, honey, if I was you, I'd pass this hat 730 01:00:28,291 --> 01:00:32,671 and beat myself to death with the cane, 'cause you are dumb. 731 01:00:32,796 --> 01:00:35,048 - You don't even know what happened. - Forget it, baby. 732 01:00:35,131 --> 01:00:38,844 - What you do in bed is your business. - You see? I wasn't even in bed. 733 01:00:38,969 --> 01:00:41,388 I was in the closet. 734 01:00:41,471 --> 01:00:42,764 (SILENCE) 735 01:00:45,809 --> 01:00:47,686 To each his own. 736 01:00:47,811 --> 01:00:50,438 The least you could have got was a mink coat! 737 01:00:50,564 --> 01:00:52,691 Oh, what's he gonna give me a mink coat for? 738 01:00:52,816 --> 01:00:55,485 If you gonna mess with the details, you ain't gonna get no results. 739 01:00:55,569 --> 01:00:56,987 A hat and a cane? 740 01:00:57,070 --> 01:01:00,031 If it was me, I'd have walked out of there with my own beauty parlour. 741 01:01:00,073 --> 01:01:01,992 Now you'll never get outta here. 742 01:01:02,033 --> 01:01:03,994 It was your big chance, baby, and you blew it. 743 01:01:04,035 --> 01:01:06,454 Now you're stuck. Stuck like the rest of us. 744 01:01:06,538 --> 01:01:08,623 And it ain't no use flappin' your wings, 745 01:01:08,665 --> 01:01:11,751 'cause we are caught in the flypaper of life. 746 01:01:13,461 --> 01:01:14,754 Not me. 747 01:01:16,548 --> 01:01:17,841 What'd you say? 748 01:01:18,216 --> 01:01:20,093 I said "not me". 749 01:01:20,176 --> 01:01:24,431 What chance have we got in a miserable joint like this? 750 01:01:24,556 --> 01:01:26,766 I mean, just look at us. 751 01:01:26,892 --> 01:01:29,686 Don't look at me. I was always like this. 752 01:01:29,811 --> 01:01:31,771 - What's the matter with her? - Nothin'. 753 01:01:31,897 --> 01:01:35,191 If you happen to like a lot of beat-up broads nobody cares about. 754 01:01:35,317 --> 01:01:37,193 Well, not me. 755 01:01:37,319 --> 01:01:42,198 I'm not gonna spend the next 40 years of my life in the Fandango Ballroom. 756 01:01:42,324 --> 01:01:44,534 I am not gonna become the world's first 757 01:01:44,576 --> 01:01:47,579 little old grey-haired taxi dancer. 758 01:01:47,704 --> 01:01:50,123 I am getting out. 759 01:01:50,206 --> 01:01:53,209 "Out"! What a nice word. 760 01:01:55,629 --> 01:01:58,715 ♪ There's gotta be something better than this 761 01:01:58,840 --> 01:02:02,052 ♪ There's gotta be something better to do 762 01:02:02,135 --> 01:02:05,805 ♪ And when I find me something better to do 763 01:02:05,889 --> 01:02:07,515 ♪ I'm gonna get up, I'm gonna get out 764 01:02:07,599 --> 01:02:10,644 ♪ I'm gonna get up, get out and do it 765 01:02:10,727 --> 01:02:13,855 ♪ There's gotta be some respectable trade 766 01:02:13,980 --> 01:02:17,150 ♪ There's gotta be something easy to learn 767 01:02:17,233 --> 01:02:20,820 ♪ And when I find me something a half-wit can learn 768 01:02:20,946 --> 01:02:22,864 ♪ I'm gonna get up, I'm gonna get out 769 01:02:22,906 --> 01:02:25,158 ♪ I'm gonna get up, get out, and learn it 770 01:02:25,241 --> 01:02:28,370 ♪ All these jokers, how I hate them 771 01:02:28,453 --> 01:02:30,664 ♪ With their groping, grabbing 772 01:02:30,705 --> 01:02:32,624 ♪ Clutching, clinching 773 01:02:32,749 --> 01:02:34,501 ♪ Strangling, handling 774 01:02:34,584 --> 01:02:36,753 ♪ Fumbling, pinching 775 01:02:36,878 --> 01:02:38,755 ♪ Phooey! 776 01:02:38,880 --> 01:02:41,758 ♪ There's gotta be some life cleaner than this 777 01:02:41,841 --> 01:02:45,178 ♪ There's gotta be some good reason to live 778 01:02:45,261 --> 01:02:48,974 ♪ And when I find me some kind of life I can live 779 01:02:49,099 --> 01:02:50,976 ♪ I'm gonna get up, I'm gonna get out 780 01:02:51,059 --> 01:02:53,311 ♪ I'm gonna get up, get out, and live it 781 01:02:54,980 --> 01:02:57,315 - I got it. I have got it! - What? 782 01:02:57,399 --> 01:02:59,526 I'm gonna be a receptionist. 783 01:02:59,651 --> 01:03:02,696 In one of those glass skyscrapers. Nine to five. 784 01:03:02,821 --> 01:03:06,116 My own typewriter. And water coolers. And office parties. 785 01:03:06,241 --> 01:03:09,661 Ooh-ooh-ooh, and coffee breaks. 786 01:03:09,828 --> 01:03:11,079 Wow! 787 01:03:12,539 --> 01:03:15,792 ♪ When I sit at my desk on the 41st floor 788 01:03:15,959 --> 01:03:19,546 ♪ In my copy of a copy of a copy of Dior 789 01:03:19,629 --> 01:03:22,799 ♪ I'll receive big tycoons, and I'll point to a chair 790 01:03:22,966 --> 01:03:26,261 ♪ I'll say "Honey, while you're waiting 791 01:03:26,344 --> 01:03:30,765 ♪ "How would ya like to put it down over there?" 792 01:03:34,394 --> 01:03:37,147 ♪ There's gotta be something better than this 793 01:03:37,230 --> 01:03:40,316 ♪ There's gotta be something better to do 794 01:03:40,442 --> 01:03:43,528 ♪ And when I find me something better to do 795 01:03:43,611 --> 01:03:45,488 ♪ I'm gonna get up, I'm gonna get out 796 01:03:45,530 --> 01:03:47,574 ♪ I'm gonna get up, get out, and do it! ♪ 797 01:03:50,785 --> 01:03:52,871 Hey, hey, me too, me too. 798 01:03:52,996 --> 01:03:55,749 I'm gonna get outta here, and I'm gonna go right to the top. 799 01:03:55,874 --> 01:03:57,876 - Yeah! - I am gonna be... 800 01:03:58,001 --> 01:04:00,170 a hat-check girl, 801 01:04:00,253 --> 01:04:03,465 at one of them East Side high-class restaurants. 802 01:04:03,548 --> 01:04:04,817 You know, a tray full of cigarettes 803 01:04:04,841 --> 01:04:07,260 costin' sixty cents a pack, and "keep the change"? 804 01:04:07,343 --> 01:04:09,304 And all those hats comin' in, 805 01:04:09,429 --> 01:04:11,848 derbies, homburgs, 806 01:04:11,973 --> 01:04:14,434 ooh, and that cute little checkered number, 807 01:04:14,476 --> 01:04:18,229 with the skinny brim and the feather! 808 01:04:20,356 --> 01:04:22,358 ♪ Check your hat, sir, check your coat, sir 809 01:04:22,484 --> 01:04:24,736 ♪ Check your vest, sir, check your pants 810 01:04:24,819 --> 01:04:26,821 ♪ Check your socks, sir, check your shoes, sir 811 01:04:26,863 --> 01:04:29,115 ♪ I can hold them while you dance 812 01:04:29,199 --> 01:04:31,284 ♪ Check your eyes, sir, check your ears, sir 813 01:04:31,326 --> 01:04:33,453 ♪ Check and see if you are free 814 01:04:33,536 --> 01:04:35,538 ♪ How about it after hours? 815 01:04:35,580 --> 01:04:38,875 ♪ I'll check you 816 01:04:38,958 --> 01:04:41,753 ♪ And you check me ♪ 817 01:04:48,968 --> 01:04:51,346 Me too, me too. I'm gonna get out, too. 818 01:04:51,471 --> 01:04:53,681 - NICKIE: But, baby, what can you do? - I don't know. 819 01:04:53,807 --> 01:04:57,143 Just get me outta here, and I'll figure it out later. 820 01:04:57,268 --> 01:05:00,522 ♪ There's gotta be some life cleaner than this 821 01:05:00,563 --> 01:05:04,359 ♪ There's gotta be some good reason to live 822 01:05:04,484 --> 01:05:07,529 ♪ And when I find me 823 01:05:07,654 --> 01:05:13,034 ♪ Some kind of life I can live 824 01:05:13,076 --> 01:05:15,036 ♪ I'm gonna get up, I'm gonna get out 825 01:05:15,120 --> 01:05:17,956 ♪ I'm gonna get up, get out and live it! ♪ 826 01:05:39,894 --> 01:05:40,894 Ha! 827 01:05:41,604 --> 01:05:42,604 Ha! 828 01:05:43,314 --> 01:05:44,774 Phooey! 829 01:05:44,899 --> 01:05:46,109 Phooey! 830 01:05:46,234 --> 01:05:48,528 Yip! 831 01:06:28,693 --> 01:06:30,320 ♪ Lala la-la 832 01:06:30,403 --> 01:06:31,988 ♪ Lala la-la 833 01:06:32,113 --> 01:06:33,406 ♪ Lala la 834 01:06:35,491 --> 01:06:38,703 ♪ Lala la-la, lala la-la 835 01:06:38,786 --> 01:06:41,915 ♪ Lala la la-la-la la-la-la lala la 836 01:07:10,026 --> 01:07:11,611 ♪ And when I find me 837 01:07:11,736 --> 01:07:13,738 ♪ Some kind of life I can live 838 01:07:13,821 --> 01:07:15,698 ♪ I'm gonna get up 839 01:07:17,158 --> 01:07:19,035 ♪ I'm gonna get out 840 01:07:20,662 --> 01:07:22,538 ♪ I'm gonna get up, get out 841 01:07:24,040 --> 01:07:28,878 ♪ And live ♪ 842 01:07:35,134 --> 01:07:37,011 Live it! 843 01:07:37,679 --> 01:07:40,473 (ALL THREE LAUGHING) 844 01:07:40,598 --> 01:07:42,558 MAN: Excuse me, ladies. 845 01:07:42,684 --> 01:07:45,353 They have just announced the winners of the Irish Sweepstakes, 846 01:07:45,478 --> 01:07:48,439 and since none of you lovely creatures is among the winners, 847 01:07:48,523 --> 01:07:49,941 get your keisters back inside. 848 01:07:50,024 --> 01:07:51,024 Hey, Herman. 849 01:07:51,109 --> 01:07:53,861 In the first place, watch your language. There's ladies present. 850 01:07:53,903 --> 01:07:56,990 And in the second place, we're not so sure we're comin' back. 851 01:07:57,073 --> 01:07:59,826 - I can always find somebody else. - That's the third place. 852 01:07:59,951 --> 01:08:01,369 I'm comin', Herman. 853 01:08:01,494 --> 01:08:04,414 But, Nickie, what about all those plans we just made? 854 01:08:04,539 --> 01:08:07,166 Yeah. What about 'em? 855 01:08:07,208 --> 01:08:08,584 Oh! 856 01:09:21,741 --> 01:09:24,077 (PHONE RINGING) 857 01:09:24,744 --> 01:09:27,914 Oh, I've got it, Mr Carmichael. Stenotypist, 858 01:09:28,039 --> 01:09:30,875 with a guarantee of nine paid holidays, 859 01:09:30,958 --> 01:09:33,461 cost of living escalation, 860 01:09:33,586 --> 01:09:36,506 and free maternity care. 861 01:09:36,631 --> 01:09:41,010 Okay, Mr Carmichael, first stenotypist that walks in, you've got her. 862 01:09:42,011 --> 01:09:44,389 Goodbye, Mr Carmichael. 863 01:09:47,392 --> 01:09:50,895 - (DISCREET COUGH) - Come in. Sit down. 864 01:09:58,236 --> 01:09:59,779 Card. 865 01:10:04,117 --> 01:10:08,496 Well, now, Miss, er... Valentine, what can we do for you? 866 01:10:08,579 --> 01:10:10,832 I want a job. A nice job. 867 01:10:10,915 --> 01:10:13,876 Of course you do. What nice job would you like? 868 01:10:14,001 --> 01:10:16,963 And don't say mine, 'cause it's already taken. 869 01:10:20,633 --> 01:10:23,386 - Well, something in an office. - Good. 870 01:10:23,594 --> 01:10:25,847 - You, um... type, of course? - No. 871 01:10:25,930 --> 01:10:28,391 - Take shorthand? - No. 872 01:10:28,474 --> 01:10:31,310 - Operate calculators? - Nope. 873 01:10:31,394 --> 01:10:33,521 - Keep books? - No. 874 01:10:33,604 --> 01:10:35,523 - File? - No. 875 01:10:35,648 --> 01:10:38,526 - Run a switchboard? - No. 876 01:10:38,693 --> 01:10:41,028 - You speak a foreign language? - No. 877 01:10:41,154 --> 01:10:44,031 - Um... - No. 878 01:10:46,701 --> 01:10:49,078 Ask me some more questions. 879 01:10:49,162 --> 01:10:52,331 Well, look, Miss, um... Valentine... 880 01:10:52,373 --> 01:10:55,543 How about, um... 881 01:10:56,711 --> 01:10:58,004 stenotypist? 882 01:10:58,045 --> 01:11:00,756 Oh, are you a stenotypist? 883 01:11:02,508 --> 01:11:06,095 - Well, not at the moment. - But you do stenotype? 884 01:11:07,763 --> 01:11:10,683 - Maybe. - Uh-huh. What do you mean? 885 01:11:12,810 --> 01:11:14,187 What is it? 886 01:11:17,231 --> 01:11:19,066 Um... 887 01:11:19,192 --> 01:11:21,194 Where did you go to school? 888 01:11:21,319 --> 01:11:25,239 Public elementary school number 84. 889 01:11:25,364 --> 01:11:27,909 - I mean, after that. - After what? 890 01:11:30,495 --> 01:11:32,497 This isn't goin' too good, is it? 891 01:11:34,123 --> 01:11:37,001 Have you ever had any formal training 892 01:11:37,126 --> 01:11:40,046 in any field whatsoever? 893 01:11:42,089 --> 01:11:45,051 Well, nothing that comes to mind. 894 01:11:45,134 --> 01:11:48,179 Well, then, what do you expect me to do? 895 01:11:48,304 --> 01:11:50,264 I told you, find me a nice job. 896 01:11:50,306 --> 01:11:52,642 But you can't do anything! 897 01:11:52,725 --> 01:11:56,229 B... But I must be able to do somethin'. 898 01:11:56,312 --> 01:11:59,232 Well, I mean, everybody knows how to do somethin'. 899 01:12:00,483 --> 01:12:01,984 Don't they? 900 01:12:02,151 --> 01:12:05,613 I used to think so. Look, Miss, er... 901 01:12:05,696 --> 01:12:10,451 Valentine. Oh, please, Mr Nicholsby, you gotta find me somethin'. 902 01:12:10,535 --> 01:12:13,496 I don't wanna go back to that place where I'm workin', you know? 903 01:12:13,621 --> 01:12:17,166 I mean, I want a nice job where I can meet some nice people. 904 01:12:17,291 --> 01:12:20,670 I w... I want very much to change my life. 905 01:12:20,753 --> 01:12:24,298 I'll work hard. I'll work awful hard. And I'll learn quick. 906 01:12:24,423 --> 01:12:27,260 Find me somethin', Mr Nicholsby, please. 907 01:12:27,343 --> 01:12:30,888 Oh, is this a gag? 908 01:12:32,598 --> 01:12:35,184 - Huh? - I'm right, aren't I? 909 01:12:35,309 --> 01:12:39,272 It is a gag. Those guys down the hall put you up to it. 910 01:12:39,355 --> 01:12:41,440 Like the time they sent over a guy that stuttered 911 01:12:41,524 --> 01:12:43,234 for a radio announcer's job. 912 01:12:43,359 --> 01:12:47,613 Oh, they should know by now I can spot 'em. 913 01:12:47,738 --> 01:12:51,284 You can tell them you really had me going. 914 01:12:55,371 --> 01:12:57,999 But it took you a while, didn't it? 915 01:12:59,458 --> 01:13:02,712 Well, you're a very good sp... sport, Mr Nicholsby. 916 01:13:02,795 --> 01:13:05,381 Listen, you're pretty good yourself. 917 01:13:07,800 --> 01:13:09,677 Well, I gotta be goin' now. 918 01:13:11,971 --> 01:13:15,725 I have a job, you know. I got a swell job. 919 01:13:17,393 --> 01:13:19,645 I was just helpin' 'em out. 920 01:13:19,770 --> 01:13:24,650 That stuff about "Public elementary school number 84", that was perfect. 921 01:13:26,027 --> 01:13:28,029 Yeah, it was good. 922 01:13:31,324 --> 01:13:34,660 - (PHONES RINGING) - (TYPING) 923 01:13:52,428 --> 01:13:54,805 Miss? Are you going down, miss? 924 01:13:56,724 --> 01:13:59,393 Miss, I'm afraid I'm going to be awfully late. 925 01:14:02,021 --> 01:14:03,314 (WHIRRING) 926 01:14:03,439 --> 01:14:05,691 I didn't mean to rush you. I hope I wasn't rude, 927 01:14:05,775 --> 01:14:09,904 but I have an appointment, and if I'm late, they'll blow a fuse. 928 01:14:10,029 --> 01:14:12,031 (LOUD JUDDERING) 929 01:14:13,741 --> 01:14:16,160 - What was that? - We stopped. 930 01:14:16,369 --> 01:14:19,080 Why did I have to say that? 931 01:14:19,163 --> 01:14:22,208 About blowing out a fuse. What a dumb thing to say. 932 01:14:22,333 --> 01:14:25,628 Press the button over there. It'll get started again. 933 01:14:31,258 --> 01:14:33,886 - We're stuck. - Yeah. 934 01:14:38,599 --> 01:14:40,476 Oh, boy. 935 01:14:46,023 --> 01:14:48,484 Kind of st... Kind of stuffy in here. 936 01:14:50,736 --> 01:14:52,905 Isn't it kind of stuffy? 937 01:14:54,573 --> 01:14:56,575 (HUMMING) 938 01:15:04,125 --> 01:15:07,753 Maximum weight in pounds: 3,500. What do you weigh? 939 01:15:09,130 --> 01:15:11,215 - 128. - Yeah, we're all right. 940 01:15:11,424 --> 01:15:14,593 - 'Course we're all right. - Yeah, we're fine. We're fine. 941 01:15:16,554 --> 01:15:18,139 Yeah. 942 01:15:19,765 --> 01:15:21,809 We're just stuck in the... 943 01:15:22,309 --> 01:15:24,186 the little old elevator. 944 01:15:28,149 --> 01:15:31,235 - Hey, are you okay really? - Who, me? 945 01:15:31,318 --> 01:15:34,196 - Yeah. - Oh, yes, I'm fine. (CHUCKLING) 946 01:15:34,321 --> 01:15:36,341 I'm fine. I... I have to get used to it, that's all, 947 01:15:36,365 --> 01:15:38,033 'cause this is... this is the first time 948 01:15:38,159 --> 01:15:40,494 I've ever been trapped in an elevator. 949 01:15:41,704 --> 01:15:43,706 Trapped, trapped, trapped. 950 01:15:47,752 --> 01:15:48,961 Hey. 951 01:15:50,129 --> 01:15:52,131 Hey, do you have that thing, you know, 952 01:15:52,256 --> 01:15:54,133 where you're scared of small, tight places? 953 01:15:54,258 --> 01:15:55,426 - Claustrophobia? - Yeah. 954 01:15:55,509 --> 01:15:58,179 No, no, no, no, nothing like that. 955 01:15:58,596 --> 01:16:01,515 Claustrophobia? No, no, no, no, no, no. 956 01:16:01,599 --> 01:16:04,477 No, I... I just, er... can't stand... 957 01:16:04,560 --> 01:16:06,729 small, tight places. 958 01:16:07,563 --> 01:16:09,774 But I can handle this all right, because I know we'll... 959 01:16:10,691 --> 01:16:12,085 we'll get out of here in a couple of minutes. 960 01:16:12,109 --> 01:16:14,278 - Well, sure, we will. - You really think so? 961 01:16:14,361 --> 01:16:15,654 Of course I think so. 962 01:16:15,821 --> 01:16:18,341 I mean, if you thought we're really trapped in here, what would you say? 963 01:16:18,365 --> 01:16:20,701 But we're not really trapped. 964 01:16:20,785 --> 01:16:22,429 Yeah, well, I know, but if you thought we were, 965 01:16:22,453 --> 01:16:24,246 what would you say? 966 01:16:24,371 --> 01:16:26,290 Then I'd say, "We're really trapped". 967 01:16:26,415 --> 01:16:28,501 My God! I knew it! I knew it! 968 01:16:28,584 --> 01:16:31,253 Dear, you shouldn't get so excited. 969 01:16:32,254 --> 01:16:36,300 Yeah. Look. Isn't this awful? 970 01:16:36,509 --> 01:16:41,680 'Cause I never act this way, really. I'm a very calm, organised person. 971 01:16:41,764 --> 01:16:46,560 I want you to know that if-if-if-if it really comes down to it, 972 01:16:46,644 --> 01:16:48,229 you can depend on me. 973 01:16:48,354 --> 01:16:50,773 - You understand that? - Yeah, I understand. 974 01:16:50,898 --> 01:16:53,776 Yeah. I just hope it doesn't come down to it. 975 01:16:56,111 --> 01:16:58,489 - Maybe I should yell for help. - Why not? 976 01:17:02,076 --> 01:17:03,786 (QUIETLY) Help. 977 01:17:07,164 --> 01:17:08,624 Help! 978 01:17:10,209 --> 01:17:12,086 (LOUDLY) Help! 979 01:17:12,211 --> 01:17:15,506 Here. My name is Charity Hope Valentine, and... 980 01:17:15,631 --> 01:17:19,093 - Hey, you're shaking! - All over. 981 01:17:19,176 --> 01:17:21,136 Let me rub your wrist. 982 01:17:21,262 --> 01:17:23,013 You know what I feel like doing now? 983 01:17:23,138 --> 01:17:25,391 I mean, you know what my impulse is? 984 01:17:25,516 --> 01:17:27,643 To take off all my clothes. 985 01:17:30,521 --> 01:17:32,857 I don't think that would do very much good. 986 01:17:32,940 --> 01:17:35,985 You'd think they'd have a telephone in here, wouldn't you? Never again. 987 01:17:36,068 --> 01:17:38,529 Never go in an elevator again without checking for a phone! 988 01:17:38,654 --> 01:17:40,531 Always check for a phone! 989 01:17:44,451 --> 01:17:47,121 - Hey... - Listen, I have an idea. 990 01:17:47,204 --> 01:17:50,416 What do you think of this? Climbing out the top of the elevator, 991 01:17:50,541 --> 01:17:52,126 shimmying up the cable, 992 01:17:52,209 --> 01:17:55,796 and then forcing the door open on the floor above. 993 01:17:55,880 --> 01:17:59,341 Well, it might work, but gee, I do think it sounds a little dangerous. 994 01:17:59,466 --> 01:18:02,011 Then don't try it. Stay here with me. 995 01:18:03,554 --> 01:18:06,724 Hey, come on down there! We don't think it's funny anymore! 996 01:18:09,351 --> 01:18:11,979 If I could just get out for a few minutes. 997 01:18:12,688 --> 01:18:15,691 Just a few minutes outside, and then I'd be all right. 998 01:18:16,108 --> 01:18:18,694 - Then I'd come back inside. - Listen. 999 01:18:18,819 --> 01:18:21,864 I really think the best thing to do is keep talking about something else. 1000 01:18:21,989 --> 01:18:23,174 Then you won't think about it, okay? 1001 01:18:23,198 --> 01:18:26,201 What's your name? Your name. What's your name? 1002 01:18:27,703 --> 01:18:29,622 - Don't ya have a name? - I don't think so. 1003 01:18:29,705 --> 01:18:31,999 Well, sure you have a name. Everybody's got a name. 1004 01:18:32,041 --> 01:18:33,876 Bruce, Howard, Richard... 1005 01:18:34,001 --> 01:18:36,337 Oscar. My name is Oscar Lindquist. 1006 01:18:36,378 --> 01:18:38,339 - Oscar Lindquist? - It's stuffy in here. 1007 01:18:38,380 --> 01:18:40,174 No, no, no, let's keep our clothes on, Oscar. 1008 01:18:40,215 --> 01:18:42,176 Now, where do you live? 1009 01:18:42,259 --> 01:18:43,719 - Who? - Oscar Lindquist. 1010 01:18:43,761 --> 01:18:45,304 Where do you live, Oscar Lindquist? 1011 01:18:45,346 --> 01:18:47,848 - Keep talking. Where do you live? - In an elevator! 1012 01:18:47,973 --> 01:18:50,851 You don't live in an elevator. You live in a house. Now concentrate! 1013 01:18:50,935 --> 01:18:52,811 Yes. 411 East 74th Street. 1014 01:18:52,853 --> 01:18:55,373 I've gotta stop breathing so much. I'm gonna use up all the air. 1015 01:18:55,481 --> 01:18:57,566 Keep talking, Oscar. Keep talking. 1016 01:18:57,691 --> 01:19:00,194 That's not fair. You should breathe some of the air. 1017 01:19:00,319 --> 01:19:03,238 I can breathe. I can breathe. Now listen. Where do you work? 1018 01:19:03,364 --> 01:19:06,116 The Excelsior Life Insurance Company. "Your life is our business." 1019 01:19:06,158 --> 01:19:08,077 - I'm an actuary. - What's an actuary? 1020 01:19:08,118 --> 01:19:10,329 I figure out premiums based on the probabilities. 1021 01:19:10,454 --> 01:19:12,581 - Good, Oscar. Now what's a probability? - The odds. 1022 01:19:12,706 --> 01:19:15,584 - The odds on what? Keep talking. - Suppose you wanted a policy. 1023 01:19:15,709 --> 01:19:17,044 Yes, I want a policy. Go on. 1024 01:19:17,086 --> 01:19:20,756 It's my job to study your particular situation... 1025 01:19:20,839 --> 01:19:24,301 - Yes. - And then figure out the odds 1026 01:19:24,426 --> 01:19:27,179 on your meeting with an unfortunate accident 1027 01:19:27,221 --> 01:19:29,682 like... like suffo... 1028 01:19:31,266 --> 01:19:32,851 suff... 1029 01:19:34,061 --> 01:19:35,980 suffocating in an elevator. 1030 01:19:36,105 --> 01:19:38,065 Oscar! Mr Lindquist! 1031 01:19:39,858 --> 01:19:41,735 Are you all right? 1032 01:19:45,155 --> 01:19:48,158 Boy, this is really my lucky day. 1033 01:19:50,744 --> 01:19:52,746 Of all the millions of guys in this town, 1034 01:19:52,788 --> 01:19:55,666 I wind up with a candidate for the funny farm. 1035 01:19:58,168 --> 01:20:00,045 Not too bad-lookin' though. 1036 01:20:01,296 --> 01:20:02,798 For a fruitcake. 1037 01:20:03,799 --> 01:20:05,634 ♪ It's a nice face 1038 01:20:06,218 --> 01:20:08,137 ♪ As faces go 1039 01:20:08,220 --> 01:20:10,806 ♪ It's a very nice face 1040 01:20:11,765 --> 01:20:14,810 ♪ With a place for every feature 1041 01:20:14,935 --> 01:20:17,271 ♪ Every feature in its place 1042 01:20:19,231 --> 01:20:21,108 ♪ Not a commonplace face 1043 01:20:23,569 --> 01:20:25,571 ♪ His eyes 1044 01:20:26,613 --> 01:20:28,157 ♪ Blue 1045 01:20:29,241 --> 01:20:32,411 ♪ His chin, stubborn and strong 1046 01:20:34,496 --> 01:20:36,331 ♪ His ears 1047 01:20:37,666 --> 01:20:40,294 ♪ They're ordinary ears 1048 01:20:41,754 --> 01:20:43,255 ♪ His nose 1049 01:20:44,631 --> 01:20:46,508 ♪ A little long 1050 01:20:49,011 --> 01:20:50,429 ♪ Still 1051 01:20:51,013 --> 01:20:53,098 ♪ It's a gentle face 1052 01:20:55,559 --> 01:20:57,561 ♪ A little square 1053 01:20:57,644 --> 01:20:59,229 ♪ A little corny 1054 01:21:00,189 --> 01:21:03,275 ♪ It's a sentimental face 1055 01:21:06,570 --> 01:21:08,781 ♪ If he'd smile 1056 01:21:09,323 --> 01:21:11,825 ♪ He'd look like... so! 1057 01:21:13,410 --> 01:21:15,704 ♪ When he's mad 1058 01:21:15,829 --> 01:21:18,082 ♪ He'd look like... so! 1059 01:21:18,624 --> 01:21:20,209 (CHUCKLING) 1060 01:21:21,376 --> 01:21:22,669 ♪ So... 1061 01:21:31,095 --> 01:21:33,263 ♪ Don't make this a federal case 1062 01:21:33,388 --> 01:21:35,849 ♪ It's just another pretty face ♪ 1063 01:21:38,268 --> 01:21:40,145 But, you know... 1064 01:21:42,189 --> 01:21:46,318 ♪ It's a very, very 1065 01:21:48,821 --> 01:21:50,739 ♪ Very nice 1066 01:21:52,116 --> 01:21:53,534 ♪ Face ♪ 1067 01:21:55,869 --> 01:21:57,079 Where am I? 1068 01:21:57,204 --> 01:21:58,789 Do you remember where you were before? 1069 01:21:58,914 --> 01:22:00,749 - No. - Well, you're still there. 1070 01:22:00,874 --> 01:22:03,710 - My God! Don't leave me! - I won't leave you, Oscar. 1071 01:22:03,794 --> 01:22:06,689 I won't leave you, I promise. I'll stay right here in this elevator with you, 1072 01:22:06,713 --> 01:22:08,966 and everything's gonna be just fine. 1073 01:22:10,050 --> 01:22:13,428 - OSCAR: What happened? - CHARITY: I think the lights went out. 1074 01:22:13,470 --> 01:22:15,389 OSCAR: Oh, boy! 1075 01:22:17,224 --> 01:22:19,434 - Help. - Help! 1076 01:22:19,560 --> 01:22:21,854 - Help! - Help! 1077 01:22:21,895 --> 01:22:23,438 Help! 1078 01:22:24,106 --> 01:22:26,066 - Help! - Help! 1079 01:22:37,244 --> 01:22:40,080 - Help. - Oh, help. 1080 01:22:41,039 --> 01:22:42,374 Help. 1081 01:22:44,001 --> 01:22:46,420 Oscar, Oscar! The lights are on. 1082 01:22:46,503 --> 01:22:48,797 - Push the button. Push the button! - Yes. 1083 01:22:48,881 --> 01:22:51,466 - Oh! - It's moving. It's moving! 1084 01:22:51,592 --> 01:22:53,635 (BOTH LAUGHING) 1085 01:22:53,760 --> 01:22:56,221 BOTH: Oh, it's moving! 1086 01:23:00,726 --> 01:23:04,396 Well, of course, your big problem is panic. 1087 01:23:04,563 --> 01:23:07,649 Seventy-eight per cent of your common household accidents 1088 01:23:07,774 --> 01:23:11,069 could be avoided by... by calm, clear-headed thinking. 1089 01:23:14,114 --> 01:23:15,490 Well... 1090 01:23:16,825 --> 01:23:18,827 See ya around. 1091 01:23:20,537 --> 01:23:22,080 Around. 1092 01:23:26,877 --> 01:23:28,879 (TRAFFIC SOUNDS) 1093 01:23:30,714 --> 01:23:33,675 Er... miss? Miss, what, er... 1094 01:23:33,759 --> 01:23:36,178 Do... Do you suppose that we could... 1095 01:23:37,095 --> 01:23:39,973 Well, you know, er... Do you think that maybe that... 1096 01:23:40,766 --> 01:23:42,285 That I don't suppose, er... that we could... 1097 01:23:42,309 --> 01:23:46,229 I know you're tryin' to ask me for somethin', but ya gotta give me a little bigger hint. 1098 01:23:47,189 --> 01:23:49,775 Well, can I see ya this Sunday? 1099 01:23:49,900 --> 01:23:51,860 Aren't ya late for work or somethin'? 1100 01:23:51,985 --> 01:23:54,780 Well, I was supposed to go to... to group analysis, 1101 01:23:54,863 --> 01:23:56,782 but I guess I missed it. 1102 01:23:56,865 --> 01:23:59,242 - You gonna be all right? - Oh, yes. 1103 01:23:59,368 --> 01:24:01,745 It was my last session this week anyway. 1104 01:24:01,870 --> 01:24:04,247 - I'm finished. - Good. 1105 01:24:04,373 --> 01:24:09,419 - What was your problem? - Well, one of my problems was that... 1106 01:24:09,461 --> 01:24:11,672 I was painfully shy. 1107 01:24:12,130 --> 01:24:14,174 And now you're cured? 1108 01:24:15,133 --> 01:24:19,846 No, I... I never had the nerve to bring it up, so I quit. 1109 01:24:21,765 --> 01:24:23,892 I guess you're busy Sunday. 1110 01:24:24,643 --> 01:24:27,479 Look, can I ask you a personal question? 1111 01:24:28,313 --> 01:24:31,233 You're not otherwise affiliated, are ya? 1112 01:24:32,401 --> 01:24:37,364 - Like a wife? - Oh, no! No, no, nothing like that. 1113 01:24:37,447 --> 01:24:40,909 - Are you busy Sunday? - No. 1114 01:24:40,993 --> 01:24:43,036 Oh, well, um... where do you live? 1115 01:24:45,288 --> 01:24:46,790 Maybe you prefer to meet me somewhere. 1116 01:24:46,915 --> 01:24:49,710 Are you familiar with that little bridge in Central Park? 1117 01:24:51,628 --> 01:24:54,715 Yeah, well, maybe we better forget the whole thing. 1118 01:24:54,840 --> 01:24:57,968 Please... two o'clock, Sunday? 1119 01:24:58,093 --> 01:25:01,513 If you're not there, I'll understand. 1120 01:25:01,596 --> 01:25:05,934 I'll be there anyway. I've got nothing else to do. 1121 01:25:09,104 --> 01:25:12,441 CHARITY: I must be out of my head. What am I doin' here? 1122 01:25:12,983 --> 01:25:14,359 Uh-uh. 1123 01:25:18,572 --> 01:25:20,032 Charity! 1124 01:25:20,657 --> 01:25:22,075 (CHUCKLING) 1125 01:25:23,785 --> 01:25:25,704 I'm glad you could make it. 1126 01:25:26,705 --> 01:25:27,998 I thought after... 1127 01:25:28,081 --> 01:25:31,376 what happened in the elevator, you might think I was... 1128 01:25:31,460 --> 01:25:33,252 Well, you know... 1129 01:25:33,253 --> 01:25:35,255 some kind of a nut. 1130 01:25:36,381 --> 01:25:39,718 Oh, I almost forgot. 1131 01:25:39,801 --> 01:25:40,969 Here. 1132 01:25:42,054 --> 01:25:45,015 I grow them myself in my apartment. 1133 01:25:45,807 --> 01:25:49,227 - Do you mind if we get off this bridge? - Oh, sure, sure. 1134 01:25:49,269 --> 01:25:53,899 Listen, I've made all... all kinds of plans for today. I thought maybe... 1135 01:25:53,982 --> 01:25:56,234 (INAUDIBLE) 1136 01:25:56,526 --> 01:25:58,528 (MUSIC ONLY) 1137 01:26:17,839 --> 01:26:19,966 CHARITY: Uh-huh. Here it comes. 1138 01:26:20,092 --> 01:26:22,803 The "I must have left my wallet in my other pants" routine. 1139 01:26:25,263 --> 01:26:28,934 Well, forget it, Charlie. You ain't gettin' a nickel out of me. 1140 01:26:29,309 --> 01:26:32,479 (MUSIC ONLY) 1141 01:27:05,679 --> 01:27:07,514 Do you like modern art? 1142 01:27:07,639 --> 01:27:10,684 I have several really fine reproductions at home. 1143 01:27:11,685 --> 01:27:13,395 Do you know where I'd like to take you now? 1144 01:27:13,603 --> 01:27:17,732 CHARITY: Yeah, to your place, to look at your reproductions. 1145 01:27:20,777 --> 01:27:23,029 (MUSIC ONLY) 1146 01:28:07,115 --> 01:28:10,535 Boy, if Nickie and Helene could see me now. 1147 01:28:10,619 --> 01:28:14,206 - Who are Nickie and Helene? - Two... Two of the girls I work with. 1148 01:28:15,373 --> 01:28:17,059 Oh, you... You know, I've been so busy talkin', 1149 01:28:17,083 --> 01:28:18,686 I haven't given you a chance to say anything. 1150 01:28:18,710 --> 01:28:20,337 Where do you work? 1151 01:28:21,171 --> 01:28:22,005 Well... 1152 01:28:22,088 --> 01:28:23,840 No, no, wait, wait, let me guess, 1153 01:28:23,924 --> 01:28:25,800 because usually I can just look at a person, 1154 01:28:25,926 --> 01:28:27,802 and tell you right off what they do. Now... 1155 01:28:27,928 --> 01:28:31,890 I'd say you definitely work... 1156 01:28:31,973 --> 01:28:33,350 in a bank. 1157 01:28:35,227 --> 01:28:37,020 Am I right? Did I get it? 1158 01:28:39,022 --> 01:28:42,317 - You got it. - Well, you see, it's... it's... 1159 01:28:42,400 --> 01:28:45,153 it's kind of a sixth sense. Which bank? 1160 01:28:45,237 --> 01:28:47,530 - You familiar with Brooklyn? - No. 1161 01:28:47,614 --> 01:28:50,992 It's in Brooklyn. You want a stick of gum? 1162 01:28:51,117 --> 01:28:52,452 No, thank you. 1163 01:28:52,535 --> 01:28:55,038 See, I... I... 1164 01:28:55,121 --> 01:28:57,123 (MUSIC ONLY) 1165 01:29:07,092 --> 01:29:10,178 You know, working in a bank can be very dangerous, you know? 1166 01:29:10,303 --> 01:29:14,349 In the greater New York area the odds are 1 in 75 that you will be held up 1167 01:29:14,432 --> 01:29:16,893 at least once in any 12-month period. 1168 01:29:16,977 --> 01:29:19,980 Listen, just livin' is dangerous, right? 1169 01:29:21,731 --> 01:29:24,150 May I see you home? Where do you live in Brooklyn? 1170 01:29:24,234 --> 01:29:27,112 Oh, it's... oh, it's way far out. 1171 01:29:27,487 --> 01:29:29,739 And it's late. You gotta get up early. 1172 01:29:30,198 --> 01:29:32,659 I'll be okay. Honest. 1173 01:29:36,204 --> 01:29:37,998 Oh, er... listen. 1174 01:29:38,832 --> 01:29:41,042 May I see you tomorrow? Maybe we could go to a movie. 1175 01:29:41,668 --> 01:29:45,338 Okay, but one with a happy ending. I'm nuts about happy endings. 1176 01:29:45,463 --> 01:29:49,509 Good! I'll pick you up at five o'clock in front of the bank, okay? 1177 01:29:49,634 --> 01:29:54,639 (DROWNED OUT BY PASSING TRAIN) 1178 01:29:54,889 --> 01:29:56,933 Suppose we, er... meet... 1179 01:29:57,058 --> 01:30:00,437 BOTH: At the bridge. Yeah. 1180 01:30:01,563 --> 01:30:04,482 - Night. - Good night. 1181 01:30:05,275 --> 01:30:09,738 Look, I want you to know I had a very nice time. 1182 01:30:09,821 --> 01:30:12,615 - Being with you, I mean. - So did I, Oscar. 1183 01:30:12,741 --> 01:30:15,994 - A very nice time. - I had a very nice time, too. 1184 01:30:17,829 --> 01:30:20,206 - Well... - Well... 1185 01:30:25,253 --> 01:30:27,589 You're a lovely girl, Charity. 1186 01:30:30,759 --> 01:30:32,635 Sweet Charity. 1187 01:30:45,440 --> 01:30:48,485 Gee, for a weirdo, he's very nice. 1188 01:31:04,501 --> 01:31:07,420 I just live round... around the corner. 1189 01:31:10,298 --> 01:31:12,258 "Sweet Charity." 1190 01:31:13,301 --> 01:31:15,387 Sweet Charity? 1191 01:31:16,930 --> 01:31:18,807 Sweet Charity. 1192 01:31:21,309 --> 01:31:23,978 Hey, Nickie, Helene, guess what happened? 1193 01:31:24,104 --> 01:31:26,898 Somethin' every girl in the ballroom dreams about! 1194 01:31:27,232 --> 01:31:30,110 - You've been drafted! - (LAUGHTER) 1195 01:31:30,235 --> 01:31:33,405 CHARITY: No, I met a man, a nice man. 1196 01:31:33,488 --> 01:31:35,240 Here it is, folks, the eleven o'clock news. 1197 01:31:35,323 --> 01:31:37,075 We listen to it every night. 1198 01:31:37,158 --> 01:31:40,286 Can you imagine, I spent the whole afternoon with him, 1199 01:31:40,370 --> 01:31:43,498 and he never once tried any funny business, not once. 1200 01:31:43,623 --> 01:31:46,251 All he did was kiss my hand. 1201 01:31:46,334 --> 01:31:49,003 Hey, that's not makin' a pass, is it? 1202 01:31:49,170 --> 01:31:52,507 - Naw. Is it, Helene? - What? 1203 01:31:52,632 --> 01:31:56,469 If a guy kisses your hand, would you classify that as a pass? 1204 01:31:56,553 --> 01:31:58,513 - Depends. - On what? 1205 01:31:58,596 --> 01:32:01,724 On where your hand is when he kisses it. 1206 01:32:03,143 --> 01:32:04,727 Hey, where was your hand? 1207 01:32:04,894 --> 01:32:06,479 On the end of my arm! 1208 01:32:06,563 --> 01:32:10,483 Okay, so besides slobbering all over your knuckles, what else does he do? 1209 01:32:10,567 --> 01:32:13,153 - He's a reactionary. - A what? 1210 01:32:13,194 --> 01:32:15,989 - He figures out odds. - A horse player. 1211 01:32:16,072 --> 01:32:20,160 No! For an insurance company. And he also grows flowers. 1212 01:32:20,285 --> 01:32:23,830 - HELENE: Sounds like a goof ball. - He is not a goof ball. 1213 01:32:23,913 --> 01:32:26,166 What does the goof ball think of your profession? 1214 01:32:26,249 --> 01:32:29,586 And have you told him you're in the rent-a-body business? 1215 01:32:29,669 --> 01:32:32,881 Well, it just so happens that he doesn't think anythin' of it. 1216 01:32:32,964 --> 01:32:34,257 BOTH: She ain't told him. 1217 01:32:34,340 --> 01:32:37,260 Look, in the first place, he is very highly educated. 1218 01:32:37,343 --> 01:32:39,304 And a little thing like that wouldn't bother him. 1219 01:32:39,387 --> 01:32:41,723 And in the second place, he already knows, 1220 01:32:41,806 --> 01:32:43,475 because I already told him. 1221 01:32:43,558 --> 01:32:44,809 - You told him? - Yup. 1222 01:32:44,893 --> 01:32:47,687 - You mean you really told him? - Yes, I told him! I told him! 1223 01:32:47,770 --> 01:32:51,191 - When? - Tomorrow, that's when I told him. 1224 01:32:53,860 --> 01:32:55,612 (DOG BARKING) 1225 01:33:02,619 --> 01:33:04,412 OSCAR: You like peanuts? 1226 01:33:04,537 --> 01:33:05,413 Yup. 1227 01:33:05,538 --> 01:33:07,457 - For our anniversary. - Huh? 1228 01:33:07,582 --> 01:33:10,460 It's exactly two weeks since we were trapped together 1229 01:33:10,543 --> 01:33:12,378 between the ninth and tenth floor. 1230 01:33:13,421 --> 01:33:15,548 Boy, what a two weeks this has been, too. 1231 01:33:15,673 --> 01:33:17,675 You know, we've been to six movies, four museums, 1232 01:33:17,759 --> 01:33:20,386 a lecture on air pollution, and a pet show. 1233 01:33:20,512 --> 01:33:22,430 I'd like to do something different tonight. 1234 01:33:22,514 --> 01:33:24,682 You wanna rob a supermarket? 1235 01:33:25,892 --> 01:33:28,561 - Would you like to go to church? - To church? 1236 01:33:28,686 --> 01:33:31,439 OSCAR: It's the Rhythm of Life Tabernacle. 1237 01:33:31,523 --> 01:33:33,608 It started out as a jazz group in San Francisco, 1238 01:33:33,691 --> 01:33:35,527 and it turned into a religion. 1239 01:33:35,652 --> 01:33:38,696 (ORGAN MUSIC PLAYING) 1240 01:33:55,338 --> 01:33:58,633 BIG DADDY: Hey, baby, like, let there be light. 1241 01:34:00,552 --> 01:34:03,054 Lights! Lights! Lights! 1242 01:34:04,847 --> 01:34:06,474 - Oh, yeah! - Lights! 1243 01:34:08,601 --> 01:34:09,894 Hit it! Hit it! 1244 01:34:10,603 --> 01:34:11,603 Wow! 1245 01:34:21,239 --> 01:34:25,201 (MULTIPLE BELLS JANGLING) 1246 01:34:26,911 --> 01:34:28,955 Daddy, there is light! 1247 01:34:37,922 --> 01:34:40,508 And the title of the sermon tonight will be: 1248 01:34:40,592 --> 01:34:42,927 "We have beat our swords into ploughshares", 1249 01:34:43,011 --> 01:34:44,637 and the beat goes on. 1250 01:34:44,762 --> 01:34:47,932 - ALL: Swing it, Daddy! - Oh, oh, oh, oh. 1251 01:34:58,943 --> 01:35:01,654 ♪ Daddy started out in San Francisco 1252 01:35:01,738 --> 01:35:04,365 ♪ Tootin' on his trumpet, loud and mean 1253 01:35:04,449 --> 01:35:07,160 ♪ Suddenly a voice said "Go forth, Daddy, 1254 01:35:07,243 --> 01:35:09,704 ♪ "Spread the picture on a wider screen" 1255 01:35:09,829 --> 01:35:12,707 ♪ And the voice said "Daddy, there's a million pigeons 1256 01:35:12,832 --> 01:35:15,460 ♪ "Waitin' to be hooked on new religions 1257 01:35:15,543 --> 01:35:17,712 ♪ "Hit the road, Daddy, leave your common-law wife 1258 01:35:17,837 --> 01:35:20,632 ♪ "Spread the religion of the rhythm of life" 1259 01:35:20,715 --> 01:35:23,509 ♪ And the rhythm of life is a powerful beat 1260 01:35:23,593 --> 01:35:26,054 ♪ Puts a tingle in your fingers and a tingle in your feet 1261 01:35:26,179 --> 01:35:28,806 ♪ Rhythm in your bedroom, rhythm in the street 1262 01:35:28,890 --> 01:35:31,434 ♪ Yes, the rhythm of life is a powerful beat 1263 01:35:32,393 --> 01:35:35,063 ♪ To feel the rhythm of life 1264 01:35:35,104 --> 01:35:37,231 ♪ To feel the powerful beat 1265 01:35:37,732 --> 01:35:40,526 ♪ To feel the tingle in your fingers 1266 01:35:40,610 --> 01:35:42,570 ♪ To feel the tingle in your feet 1267 01:35:43,112 --> 01:35:45,657 ♪ Daddy, go 1268 01:35:45,740 --> 01:35:48,368 ♪ Go, go, go 1269 01:35:48,409 --> 01:35:53,748 ♪ Tell them everything you know 1270 01:35:53,873 --> 01:35:56,668 ♪ Daddy spread the gospel in Milwaukee 1271 01:35:56,709 --> 01:35:59,504 ♪ Took his walkie-talkie to Rocky Ridge 1272 01:35:59,587 --> 01:36:02,173 ♪ Blew his way to Canton, then to Scranton 1273 01:36:02,256 --> 01:36:04,884 ♪ Till he landed under the Manhattan Bridge 1274 01:36:05,009 --> 01:36:07,762 ♪ Daddy was a new sensation, got himself a congregation 1275 01:36:07,845 --> 01:36:10,139 ♪ Built up quite an operation down below 1276 01:36:10,264 --> 01:36:13,101 ♪ With the pie-eyed piper blowing, while the Muscatel was flowing 1277 01:36:13,184 --> 01:36:15,687 - ♪ All the cats were go-go-going ♪ - Down below! 1278 01:36:16,020 --> 01:36:19,148 ♪ Daddy was a new sensation 1279 01:36:19,273 --> 01:36:21,567 ♪ Got himself a congregation 1280 01:36:21,859 --> 01:36:26,614 ♪ Built up quite an operation down below 1281 01:36:27,407 --> 01:36:29,909 ♪ With the pie-eyed piper blowing 1282 01:36:30,159 --> 01:36:32,787 ♪ While the Muscatel was flowing 1283 01:36:32,912 --> 01:36:35,331 ♪ All the cats were go-go-going 1284 01:36:35,373 --> 01:36:37,917 ♪ Down below 1285 01:36:38,334 --> 01:36:40,753 ♪ Flip your wings and fly to Daddy 1286 01:36:40,837 --> 01:36:43,589 ♪ Flip your wings and fly to Daddy 1287 01:36:43,715 --> 01:36:45,967 ♪ Flip your wings and fly to Daddy 1288 01:36:46,092 --> 01:36:49,345 ♪ Fly, fly, fly to Daddy 1289 01:36:49,429 --> 01:36:51,597 ♪ Take a dive and swim to Daddy 1290 01:36:52,014 --> 01:36:54,308 ♪ Take a dive and swim to Daddy 1291 01:36:54,767 --> 01:36:57,103 ♪ Take a dive and swim to Daddy 1292 01:36:57,186 --> 01:36:59,689 ♪ Swim, swim, swim to Daddy 1293 01:37:00,440 --> 01:37:02,942 ♪ Hit the floor and crawl to Daddy 1294 01:37:03,109 --> 01:37:05,611 ♪ Hit the floor and crawl to Daddy 1295 01:37:05,903 --> 01:37:08,156 ♪ Hit the floor and crawl to Daddy 1296 01:37:08,239 --> 01:37:10,950 ♪ Crawl, crawl, crawl to Daddy 1297 01:37:16,581 --> 01:37:19,292 - ♪ Flip your wings ♪ - Fly. 1298 01:37:19,417 --> 01:37:22,128 - ♪ Flip your wings ♪ - Fly. 1299 01:37:22,211 --> 01:37:24,839 - ♪ Flip your wings ♪ - Fly. 1300 01:37:24,964 --> 01:37:27,550 ♪ Flip, fly 1301 01:37:27,675 --> 01:37:30,344 ♪ Flip, fly 1302 01:37:30,428 --> 01:37:32,638 ♪ Flip, fly, flip, fly 1303 01:37:32,764 --> 01:37:35,475 ♪ Flip, fly, flip, fly, flip, fly, flip, fly 1304 01:37:35,558 --> 01:37:38,603 - ♪ Take a dive ♪ - Swim. 1305 01:37:38,686 --> 01:37:41,022 - ♪ Take a dive ♪ - Swim. 1306 01:37:41,189 --> 01:37:44,150 - ♪ Take a dive ♪ - Swim. 1307 01:37:44,233 --> 01:37:46,819 ♪ Swim, yeah, swim 1308 01:37:46,944 --> 01:37:49,197 -♪ Swim -♪ Swim 1309 01:37:49,322 --> 01:37:51,324 ♪ Swim, swim, swim, swim, swim ♪ 1310 01:37:51,449 --> 01:37:53,409 To Daddy! 1311 01:37:55,077 --> 01:37:56,370 - Daddy? - Yeah? 1312 01:37:56,454 --> 01:37:57,830 - Er... Daddy? - Uh-huh? 1313 01:37:57,914 --> 01:38:00,583 Oooh, Daddy! 1314 01:38:00,666 --> 01:38:01,959 Hit the floor! 1315 01:38:02,084 --> 01:38:04,754 - Crawl to Daddy! - Hit the floor! 1316 01:38:04,837 --> 01:38:07,465 - Crawl to Daddy! - Hit the floor! 1317 01:38:07,548 --> 01:38:08,883 Crawl to Daddy! 1318 01:38:08,966 --> 01:38:11,636 - Hit the floor and... - Crawl to Daddy! 1319 01:38:13,137 --> 01:38:15,765 - DADDY: Aaaaaaaah! - ALL: Crawl to Daddy! 1320 01:38:15,848 --> 01:38:19,852 Crawl to Daddy! Crawl! Crawl! Crawl to Daddy! 1321 01:38:20,019 --> 01:38:22,605 (ALL SINGING WORDLESSLY) 1322 01:38:30,822 --> 01:38:33,574 -♪ Doobi-doobi-doobi-doobi-do -♪ Sing-a-ding-a-ding-a-dad'n 1323 01:38:33,741 --> 01:38:36,536 -♪ Doobi-doobi-doobi-doobi-do -♪ Split it, split it, split it 1324 01:38:36,619 --> 01:38:39,163 -♪ Doobi-doobi-doobi-doobi-do -♪ Sing-a-ding-a-ding-a-did'n 1325 01:38:39,205 --> 01:38:41,541 ♪ Doobi-doobi-doobi-doobi-doobi-doobi-do 1326 01:38:41,624 --> 01:38:44,377 ♪ And the rhythm of life is a powerful beat 1327 01:38:44,460 --> 01:38:47,338 ♪ Puts a tingle in your fingers and a tingle in your feet 1328 01:38:47,421 --> 01:38:49,799 ♪ Rhythm in your bedroom, rhythm in the street 1329 01:38:49,882 --> 01:38:52,885 ♪ Yes, the rhythm of life is a powerful beat 1330 01:38:53,261 --> 01:38:55,721 ♪ To feel the rhythm of life 1331 01:38:55,847 --> 01:38:58,432 ♪ To feel the powerful beat 1332 01:38:58,558 --> 01:39:01,394 ♪ To feel the tingle in your fingers 1333 01:39:01,477 --> 01:39:03,729 ♪ To feel the tingle in your feet 1334 01:39:03,813 --> 01:39:06,774 ♪ Daddy, go 1335 01:39:06,899 --> 01:39:09,527 ♪ Go, go, go 1336 01:39:09,610 --> 01:39:15,283 ♪ Tell them everything you know 1337 01:39:15,324 --> 01:39:17,994 ♪ To feel the rhythm of life 1338 01:39:18,119 --> 01:39:20,746 ♪ To feel the powerful beat 1339 01:39:20,872 --> 01:39:23,499 ♪ To feel the tingle in your fingers 1340 01:39:23,624 --> 01:39:26,252 ♪ To feel the tingle in your... 1341 01:39:26,335 --> 01:39:29,088 ♪ Flip your wings and fly to your Daddy 1342 01:39:29,171 --> 01:39:31,632 ♪ Take a dive and swim to your Daddy 1343 01:39:31,757 --> 01:39:34,343 ♪ Hit the floor and crawl to Daddy 1344 01:39:34,468 --> 01:39:36,429 ♪ Daddy, we've got the rhythm of life 1345 01:39:36,554 --> 01:39:38,930 ♪ Of life, of life, of life ♪ 1346 01:39:38,931 --> 01:39:40,099 - Yeah! - Yeah! 1347 01:39:40,182 --> 01:39:41,434 - Lemme hear it! - Yeah! 1348 01:39:41,517 --> 01:39:42,768 - Sock it to me! - Yeah! 1349 01:39:42,894 --> 01:39:45,229 - Let it all hang out! - Yeah! 1350 01:39:49,275 --> 01:39:50,902 Gather round. 1351 01:39:54,614 --> 01:39:57,783 Yeah, this is where it's all happenin', babies. 1352 01:39:57,909 --> 01:40:01,954 "The Rhythm of Life", number seven in the top ten religions. 1353 01:40:02,038 --> 01:40:04,790 But we're gonna climb to number one, Big Daddy. 1354 01:40:04,874 --> 01:40:07,501 I'm hip, baby. But dig. 1355 01:40:07,585 --> 01:40:12,048 Time is runnin' out on that big LP called Life. 1356 01:40:12,089 --> 01:40:15,760 And the greatest disc jockey of 'em all is gonna come and take us by the hand, 1357 01:40:15,843 --> 01:40:18,638 and lead us to the flip side of Life called Eternity. 1358 01:40:18,679 --> 01:40:21,015 Eternity! 1359 01:40:21,140 --> 01:40:24,352 That big coffee break in the sky. 1360 01:40:24,477 --> 01:40:27,104 Yeah, but before we groove that final date, 1361 01:40:27,229 --> 01:40:32,276 before we head for that last eight bars, 1362 01:40:32,360 --> 01:40:34,487 we gotta make our peace! 1363 01:40:34,570 --> 01:40:37,657 - Make it, Daddy. Make it, Daddy. - Make it, Daddy. 1364 01:40:37,740 --> 01:40:39,325 You know I'm gonna make it! 1365 01:40:39,408 --> 01:40:44,038 And I want you cats to listen to everything I'm gonna lay on ya as of this point. 1366 01:40:44,163 --> 01:40:46,540 Number one! 1367 01:40:46,624 --> 01:40:50,294 Thou shalt dig thy neighbour as thou wouldst have him dig thee. 1368 01:40:50,419 --> 01:40:53,381 Yeah, yeah, yeah! 1369 01:40:53,464 --> 01:40:54,840 Number two! 1370 01:40:54,924 --> 01:40:57,551 Thou shall not put down thy mamas and thy papas! 1371 01:40:57,677 --> 01:41:00,304 No, no, no, no. 1372 01:41:00,429 --> 01:41:03,683 Number three! Thou shall not swing with another cat's chick. 1373 01:41:03,724 --> 01:41:06,185 No, no, no, no. 1374 01:41:06,268 --> 01:41:07,895 Number four! 1375 01:41:07,979 --> 01:41:12,358 Thou shall not blow thy minds on school nights and national holidays. 1376 01:41:12,483 --> 01:41:16,028 They're a very devout group. Where'd you ever find them? 1377 01:41:16,153 --> 01:41:18,739 Oh, I'm on a mailing list. It's a Church of the Month club. 1378 01:41:18,864 --> 01:41:22,243 And last! Come here. 1379 01:41:22,368 --> 01:41:24,370 But not least. 1380 01:41:24,453 --> 01:41:27,790 Thou shall not indulge thyselves in the evil marijuana weed, 1381 01:41:27,915 --> 01:41:30,876 commonly known as pot, grass, Mary Jane, 1382 01:41:30,960 --> 01:41:34,797 (SNIFFING) Acapulco Gold, as it is sinful. 1383 01:41:34,880 --> 01:41:36,257 It is harmful! 1384 01:41:36,340 --> 01:41:39,218 It's also very expensive! 1385 01:41:39,301 --> 01:41:40,970 (SIREN) 1386 01:41:41,053 --> 01:41:45,307 So I suggest, if anybody's holdin', drop it before the fuzz arrives. 1387 01:41:45,683 --> 01:41:46,934 Love, babies. 1388 01:41:47,643 --> 01:41:49,895 Love, Daddy. 1389 01:41:54,233 --> 01:41:55,776 Yeah. 1390 01:42:08,914 --> 01:42:11,417 (ECHOING FOOTSTEPS) 1391 01:42:27,308 --> 01:42:29,310 Are they gone? 1392 01:42:29,852 --> 01:42:33,522 - Hey, you're shaking. - I'm scared to death. 1393 01:42:33,647 --> 01:42:37,068 Don't... Don't... Don't worry. I'm right here beside you. 1394 01:42:37,109 --> 01:42:39,737 So just... just relax, and be scared all you want to. 1395 01:42:40,738 --> 01:42:42,823 Thank you. I will. 1396 01:42:45,493 --> 01:42:47,661 Hey, you know something? 1397 01:42:47,745 --> 01:42:50,206 I don't mind being scared with you. 1398 01:42:50,539 --> 01:42:53,501 I mean, when you've got somebody you can depend on, 1399 01:42:53,584 --> 01:42:56,629 that you know will be there all the time to take care of ya, 1400 01:42:57,213 --> 01:42:59,799 then you can afford to be scared. 1401 01:43:00,216 --> 01:43:02,927 I never had a somebody like that before. 1402 01:43:03,135 --> 01:43:06,305 I've never had anybody depend on me before. 1403 01:43:06,388 --> 01:43:09,558 - (DOOR CLOSING) - I think they're gone. 1404 01:43:09,642 --> 01:43:11,268 You know what I wish? 1405 01:43:11,352 --> 01:43:13,562 I wish we could stay like this forever. 1406 01:43:13,729 --> 01:43:15,231 Oh, do you, Oscar? 1407 01:43:15,314 --> 01:43:19,735 You... You're the first girl I ever met that I ever trusted, 1408 01:43:20,069 --> 01:43:21,946 and believed in. 1409 01:43:22,154 --> 01:43:23,739 And... 1410 01:43:24,240 --> 01:43:26,867 And my whole right side is going to sleep. 1411 01:43:26,951 --> 01:43:29,745 Wait. I'll scrunch down. 1412 01:43:32,164 --> 01:43:34,125 How's that? 1413 01:43:37,962 --> 01:43:41,757 Oh, Oscar, 1414 01:43:42,299 --> 01:43:46,512 I'm gonna tell you something about me that I don't think you'll like. 1415 01:43:46,637 --> 01:43:49,557 Couldn't be anything about you I wouldn't like. 1416 01:43:52,059 --> 01:43:55,604 Remember I told... I told you I w... worked in a bank? 1417 01:43:56,105 --> 01:43:58,649 A... A bank in Brooklyn? 1418 01:44:06,407 --> 01:44:09,034 What about that bank in Brooklyn? 1419 01:44:09,535 --> 01:44:12,788 We just raised our interest rates. 1420 01:44:13,914 --> 01:44:16,041 - Hey! - What's the matter? 1421 01:44:16,167 --> 01:44:17,626 Hey, did you hear what I said? 1422 01:44:17,710 --> 01:44:19,396 I said I wish we could stay in here forever. 1423 01:44:19,420 --> 01:44:22,047 D-Did you hear me say that? Well, look where we are! 1424 01:44:22,089 --> 01:44:26,552 In a small, tight place of the type I'm usually scared to death to be in, but I'm not. 1425 01:44:26,635 --> 01:44:30,806 I like it! I... I don't have claustrophobia anymore. 1426 01:44:30,931 --> 01:44:34,226 - I'm cured! You cured me. - I did? How? 1427 01:44:34,310 --> 01:44:36,896 I don't know, but it's gone! 1428 01:44:37,021 --> 01:44:40,107 For the first time in my life. 1429 01:44:40,232 --> 01:44:42,568 It's gone! It's gone! 1430 01:44:42,693 --> 01:44:44,987 Gone, gone, gone! 1431 01:44:48,616 --> 01:44:52,369 OSCAR: ♪ Here was a man with no dream and no plan 1432 01:44:52,453 --> 01:44:57,833 ♪ Then one lonely night I found Sweet Charity 1433 01:44:57,917 --> 01:45:00,294 ♪ You make life fun for me 1434 01:45:00,377 --> 01:45:02,588 ♪ Oh, what it's done for me 1435 01:45:02,671 --> 01:45:07,676 ♪ Having you around, Sweet Charity 1436 01:45:07,760 --> 01:45:12,264 ♪ Warm words I've never said lately 1437 01:45:12,389 --> 01:45:15,976 ♪ Pop off the top of my head 1438 01:45:16,101 --> 01:45:19,271 ♪ It's incredible 1439 01:45:21,357 --> 01:45:23,651 ♪ Suddenly I'm the guy 1440 01:45:23,776 --> 01:45:25,861 ♪ I never dared to be 1441 01:45:25,986 --> 01:45:30,532 ♪ Watch me touch the sky quite easily 1442 01:45:30,658 --> 01:45:35,204 ♪ So if you are free, Sweet Charity 1443 01:45:35,329 --> 01:45:39,959 ♪ Please belong to me, Sweet Charity 1444 01:45:40,042 --> 01:45:42,711 ♪ Please belong to me 1445 01:45:42,836 --> 01:45:44,713 ♪ Sweet Charity 1446 01:45:56,809 --> 01:46:01,313 ♪ Sweet Charity, please belong to me 1447 01:46:01,438 --> 01:46:05,985 ♪ Sweet Charity, please belong to me 1448 01:46:06,068 --> 01:46:10,781 ♪ Sweet Charity, please belong to me 1449 01:46:10,948 --> 01:46:15,995 ♪ Sweet Charity, please belong to me, please 1450 01:46:17,329 --> 01:46:19,248 ♪ Please ♪ 1451 01:46:20,499 --> 01:46:22,418 Please? 1452 01:46:25,129 --> 01:46:29,591 Charity, I'd just about given up ever finding anybody like you. 1453 01:46:30,217 --> 01:46:34,179 I mean, the world's gone crazy. Every... Everything's all mixed up. 1454 01:46:34,305 --> 01:46:38,225 I mean, the old standards of decency and... and morality, 1455 01:46:38,350 --> 01:46:41,312 they don't seem to mean anything anymore. 1456 01:46:41,395 --> 01:46:46,608 When I see the way the girls at the office are passed around, and... 1457 01:46:46,734 --> 01:46:49,820 the jokes they tell about them are... 1458 01:46:49,903 --> 01:46:52,156 well, I get sick, Charity. 1459 01:46:53,449 --> 01:46:56,118 Most people would laugh if I told 'em that. 1460 01:46:56,452 --> 01:46:57,953 I'm not laughing, Oscar. 1461 01:46:58,037 --> 01:47:00,307 From... From the moment we first met, I... I knew you were different. 1462 01:47:00,331 --> 01:47:03,208 I... I just knew, like the way I knew you worked in a bank. 1463 01:47:03,334 --> 01:47:05,312 - Oscar, listen, there's something... - And I knew that you believed in 1464 01:47:05,336 --> 01:47:08,505 the same things I did. Things like... like... 1465 01:47:10,632 --> 01:47:12,259 innocence, and... and... and... 1466 01:47:14,595 --> 01:47:16,722 Try "purity". 1467 01:47:16,847 --> 01:47:20,809 - Does that sound corny? - No. 1468 01:47:21,727 --> 01:47:24,730 Well, yeah, maybe it is. 1469 01:47:24,813 --> 01:47:26,647 But... But that's the way I... 1470 01:47:26,648 --> 01:47:28,734 That's the way I always pictured it would be. 1471 01:47:28,817 --> 01:47:31,195 The way it had to be. 1472 01:47:32,488 --> 01:47:36,950 No-one else seems to think those things are important anymore, but... 1473 01:47:38,285 --> 01:47:42,414 that's why you're a very sp... special person, Charity. 1474 01:47:43,791 --> 01:47:45,292 Charity? 1475 01:47:46,960 --> 01:47:48,420 Charity? 1476 01:47:50,214 --> 01:47:51,715 (COINS BEING INSERTED) 1477 01:47:55,886 --> 01:47:57,513 TAXI DANCERS: ♪ Do you wanna have 1478 01:47:57,638 --> 01:48:00,599 - ♪ Fun, fun, fun ♪ - C'mere, cowboy, I wanna tell ya somethin'. 1479 01:48:00,724 --> 01:48:03,078 - A little secret between you and me. - ♪ How's about a few ♪ 1480 01:48:03,102 --> 01:48:05,479 - How's about it, palsie? - ♪ Laughs, laughs 1481 01:48:05,604 --> 01:48:09,274 - Hey, mister, do you speak Spanish? - ♪ I can show you a 1482 01:48:09,400 --> 01:48:11,777 ♪ Good time ♪ 1483 01:48:29,169 --> 01:48:31,839 (INAUDIBLE) 1484 01:49:06,957 --> 01:49:08,717 - (AUDIBLE THUMP) - Hey, what's the big idea? 1485 01:49:10,627 --> 01:49:12,212 HERMAN: Excuse me, Miss Valentine, 1486 01:49:12,296 --> 01:49:14,882 but your escort has just shelled out six-fifty to dance with you, 1487 01:49:14,965 --> 01:49:16,341 and I do not see you dancin'. 1488 01:49:16,425 --> 01:49:19,094 Who dances? You defend yourself to music! 1489 01:49:19,178 --> 01:49:21,239 - Now, Miss Valentine... - You wanna know somethin', Herman? 1490 01:49:21,263 --> 01:49:22,931 I don't like it here anymore. 1491 01:49:23,015 --> 01:49:27,102 So I'm givin' you my two weeks notice, as of two weeks ago. 1492 01:49:27,644 --> 01:49:29,938 This is not a nice place! 1493 01:49:41,700 --> 01:49:42,951 Charity? 1494 01:49:44,495 --> 01:49:46,955 Hey, Charity, listen... 1495 01:49:52,044 --> 01:49:53,712 Hey, baby? 1496 01:49:54,213 --> 01:49:56,507 - Charity? - Hey! 1497 01:49:56,590 --> 01:49:58,634 CHARITY: I'm up here. 1498 01:49:59,718 --> 01:50:03,013 Boy, oh boy, am I sick and tired of that musical snake pit down there. 1499 01:50:03,138 --> 01:50:05,933 Well, what's so bad about it? I mean, you dance a little, 1500 01:50:05,974 --> 01:50:09,728 talk a little, roll your eyes a little, swivel your hips a little. 1501 01:50:09,811 --> 01:50:12,689 CHARITY: Just like that, you can kill a lifetime. 1502 01:50:14,233 --> 01:50:16,109 How are things going with the goof ball? 1503 01:50:17,110 --> 01:50:19,947 - Who? - You know, the hand kisser. 1504 01:50:20,364 --> 01:50:22,533 Him? Who needs him? I don't need him. 1505 01:50:22,574 --> 01:50:25,035 I don't need anybody, and, if I needed anybody, 1506 01:50:25,118 --> 01:50:28,497 - it sure wouldn't be him. - She's nuts about him. 1507 01:50:31,875 --> 01:50:34,294 It's no good. 1508 01:50:34,419 --> 01:50:36,004 He thinks I work in a bank. 1509 01:50:36,046 --> 01:50:37,798 NICKIE: So? Let him! 1510 01:50:38,257 --> 01:50:41,426 Oh, he trusts me. He believes in me. 1511 01:50:41,885 --> 01:50:43,845 I gotta tell him the truth. 1512 01:50:43,929 --> 01:50:46,223 I gotta tell him who I am, what I do, all of it. 1513 01:50:46,598 --> 01:50:49,601 That much truth ain't good for nobody. 1514 01:50:49,685 --> 01:50:52,604 CHARITY: I shoulda have told him before, but... 1515 01:50:52,688 --> 01:50:56,441 oh, he's just the nicest thing that ever happened to me, 1516 01:50:56,525 --> 01:50:58,819 and I wanted it to last as long as it could. 1517 01:50:59,194 --> 01:51:01,196 Now wait a minute, lemme get this straight. 1518 01:51:01,280 --> 01:51:03,115 You're gonna tell him you lied to him? 1519 01:51:04,408 --> 01:51:07,387 HELENE: You're gonna tell him you been working in this dump for eight years? 1520 01:51:07,411 --> 01:51:08,912 Yup. 1521 01:51:08,996 --> 01:51:11,391 NICKIE: You're gonna tell him about Frank, and Charlie and... 1522 01:51:11,415 --> 01:51:12,499 Yeah, yeah. 1523 01:51:12,624 --> 01:51:15,794 Oh, Charity, I gotta hand it to you. 1524 01:51:15,877 --> 01:51:18,422 You are an extremely honest, open... 1525 01:51:18,505 --> 01:51:20,716 and stupid broad. 1526 01:51:22,634 --> 01:51:24,011 Yup. 1527 01:51:34,229 --> 01:51:36,732 (DOOR AUDIBLY CLOSING) 1528 01:51:38,275 --> 01:51:39,985 Charity, what... 1529 01:51:40,611 --> 01:51:42,237 Sit down, Oscar. 1530 01:51:45,240 --> 01:51:47,409 Aren't you going to sit with me? 1531 01:51:47,659 --> 01:51:50,495 I have some very important things to say to you, and... 1532 01:51:50,579 --> 01:51:53,790 if I have to look in your eyes, I'll never be able to say them. 1533 01:51:53,874 --> 01:51:56,335 - You alone, miss? - She's with me. 1534 01:52:01,048 --> 01:52:04,259 Charity, I was asleep when you called. I'm still in my pyjamas. Look. 1535 01:52:04,384 --> 01:52:06,470 Don't look at me! 1536 01:52:09,097 --> 01:52:10,599 Oscar... 1537 01:52:13,560 --> 01:52:15,020 I don't now, 1538 01:52:15,103 --> 01:52:16,563 I never have, 1539 01:52:17,814 --> 01:52:20,484 and I probably never, ever will... 1540 01:52:20,567 --> 01:52:22,944 - work in a bank. - Oh. 1541 01:52:23,028 --> 01:52:25,864 I don't even have a bank account anymore, 1542 01:52:25,989 --> 01:52:30,202 and whatever money I do have, I keep in an empty jar of instant coffee. 1543 01:52:30,285 --> 01:52:32,454 - Oh. - You know how I earn that money, Oscar? 1544 01:52:32,537 --> 01:52:34,081 You're a dance hall hostess. 1545 01:52:34,164 --> 01:52:38,669 I'm a dance hall hostess. I work in a cheap dance hall. 1546 01:52:38,752 --> 01:52:41,421 And I dance with strange men, 1547 01:52:41,922 --> 01:52:44,132 and I drink with them, 1548 01:52:44,174 --> 01:52:46,093 and, sometimes... 1549 01:52:46,259 --> 01:52:47,803 sometimes... 1550 01:52:51,306 --> 01:52:54,559 Hey, how did you know? 1551 01:52:55,394 --> 01:52:56,954 Well, when you left me in the phone booth, 1552 01:52:56,978 --> 01:52:58,939 I ran outside looking for you, 1553 01:52:59,189 --> 01:53:02,734 and I just saw someone. I thought it was you, and I followed her, 1554 01:53:02,818 --> 01:53:04,528 and she went into that... 1555 01:53:04,611 --> 01:53:06,196 that place. 1556 01:53:06,321 --> 01:53:08,573 And then I knew it wasn't you. 1557 01:53:08,949 --> 01:53:13,036 Except I saw the photographs outside, and it was you. 1558 01:53:14,538 --> 01:53:17,165 I didn't go in. I couldn't. 1559 01:53:18,208 --> 01:53:19,960 I went home. 1560 01:53:22,629 --> 01:53:25,382 I tried to hate you, Charity. 1561 01:53:25,924 --> 01:53:28,093 I tried very hard. 1562 01:53:29,886 --> 01:53:31,388 But... 1563 01:53:32,139 --> 01:53:34,975 I couldn't. I just couldn't hate you. 1564 01:53:35,100 --> 01:53:36,953 Yeah, well, maybe you'll have better luck tonight 1565 01:53:36,977 --> 01:53:38,777 when I get finished tellin' ya the rest of it. 1566 01:53:38,895 --> 01:53:40,522 It's not important. 1567 01:53:41,231 --> 01:53:43,567 Not important?! 1568 01:53:43,984 --> 01:53:47,779 What do you mean, "not important"? What about all those things you said? 1569 01:53:47,904 --> 01:53:50,532 - Look, Charity... - Don't look at me! 1570 01:53:52,784 --> 01:53:55,495 Charity, I know what I said. 1571 01:53:56,913 --> 01:54:00,417 But I just can't let you get away. You have to marry me. 1572 01:54:00,500 --> 01:54:02,461 Oscar, I've gotta tell you everything! 1573 01:54:02,544 --> 01:54:03,938 I don't care what you are, or what you've done. 1574 01:54:03,962 --> 01:54:05,505 If you only knew. 1575 01:54:05,964 --> 01:54:09,259 If you only knew... All those guys... 1576 01:54:09,843 --> 01:54:11,762 All those guys that... 1577 01:54:12,262 --> 01:54:14,514 (SOBBING) 1578 01:54:17,100 --> 01:54:20,520 Charity, don't cry. Please, don't cry. I believe you. 1579 01:54:20,604 --> 01:54:24,399 I know you believe me! I'm or yin' about that other part! 1580 01:54:24,524 --> 01:54:26,276 - What other part? - That marryin' part! 1581 01:54:26,401 --> 01:54:29,029 I didn't hear it the first time! 1582 01:54:29,112 --> 01:54:31,782 (SOBBING) 1583 01:54:39,706 --> 01:54:41,875 Excuse me, sport. 1584 01:54:46,296 --> 01:54:48,048 Marry me? 1585 01:54:48,131 --> 01:54:49,800 Oscar! 1586 01:54:58,892 --> 01:55:01,812 You're not just makin' fun of me, are ya? 1587 01:55:02,270 --> 01:55:06,775 Because askin' a girl to marry her is one of her most sensitive areas. 1588 01:55:07,150 --> 01:55:09,694 And you really shouldn't say it if you don't mean it. 1589 01:55:09,778 --> 01:55:14,074 I mean, you can seriously hurt a person, kiddin' around like that. 1590 01:55:14,574 --> 01:55:16,701 To tell you the truth, Oscar, 1591 01:55:16,827 --> 01:55:20,038 I don't think I could stand another injury of that nature. 1592 01:55:20,914 --> 01:55:23,834 You know, for the first time, I'm happy. 1593 01:55:24,251 --> 01:55:27,671 I mean, really happy inside! And it's all because of you! 1594 01:55:27,754 --> 01:55:30,006 - Oh... - Don't look at me! 1595 01:55:30,590 --> 01:55:33,343 I can get pretty emotional too, you know. 1596 01:55:34,719 --> 01:55:36,596 Give me your hand. 1597 01:55:45,272 --> 01:55:47,834 Charity, you know what we're gonna do? We're gonna get out of this city. 1598 01:55:47,858 --> 01:55:50,402 - Oh, I'd like that. - We'll move to the country. 1599 01:55:50,485 --> 01:55:52,404 - I'd like that. - New Jersey, maybe. 1600 01:55:53,321 --> 01:55:56,366 We'll open a nursery, and greenhouse. 1601 01:55:56,491 --> 01:55:58,410 - Grow flowers. - You'd like that. 1602 01:55:58,493 --> 01:56:01,305 - The important thing is to forget about the past. - I've forgot it. I've forgot it. 1603 01:56:01,329 --> 01:56:03,891 - Because it's not important. It's just not important. - It isn't. 1604 01:56:03,915 --> 01:56:05,458 We won't discuss it anymore. 1605 01:56:05,542 --> 01:56:07,353 We won't even think about it. Especially not think about it. 1606 01:56:07,377 --> 01:56:08,795 No, we won't think about it. 1607 01:56:08,879 --> 01:56:10,940 I mean, a lot of men couldn't do that, Charity, but not me. 1608 01:56:10,964 --> 01:56:13,383 - No, not you. - I swear I'll... I'll never mention it again 1609 01:56:13,466 --> 01:56:15,427 as long as I live. 1610 01:56:16,511 --> 01:56:18,221 I'd like that. 1611 01:56:18,346 --> 01:56:20,432 Because... 1612 01:56:20,849 --> 01:56:23,602 I need you, Charity. 1613 01:56:26,813 --> 01:56:28,481 I need you... 1614 01:56:29,399 --> 01:56:30,692 and I love you. 1615 01:56:33,069 --> 01:56:37,324 Besides, it's about time I got married, anyway. 1616 01:56:37,574 --> 01:56:40,118 I'm 34 years old. 1617 01:56:40,201 --> 01:56:44,915 - He loves... me. - Did you know that the odds are 785... 1618 01:56:46,249 --> 01:56:48,627 Someone loves me. 1619 01:56:49,836 --> 01:56:52,130 Someone loves me! 1620 01:56:54,215 --> 01:56:58,345 Some... one... loves... me! 1621 01:56:59,930 --> 01:57:04,309 - Some... one... loves... me! - ECHO: Some... one... loves... me! 1622 01:57:04,392 --> 01:57:06,937 (APPLAUSE) 1623 01:57:20,408 --> 01:57:22,577 ♪ Somebody loves me 1624 01:57:22,661 --> 01:57:25,080 ♪ My heart is beating so fast 1625 01:57:25,163 --> 01:57:26,831 ♪ All kinds of music 1626 01:57:26,915 --> 01:57:29,584 ♪ Is pouring out of me 1627 01:57:29,709 --> 01:57:32,212 ♪ Somebody loves me 1628 01:57:32,712 --> 01:57:34,714 ♪ At last 1629 01:57:35,340 --> 01:57:36,758 ♪ Now 1630 01:57:38,510 --> 01:57:41,805 ♪ I'm a brass band, I'm a harpsichord 1631 01:57:41,888 --> 01:57:44,474 ♪ I'm a clarinet 1632 01:57:45,225 --> 01:57:48,853 ♪ I'm the Philadelphia Orchestra 1633 01:57:48,937 --> 01:57:52,357 ♪ I'm the Modern Jazz Quartet 1634 01:57:52,440 --> 01:57:55,568 ♪ I'm the band from Macy's Big Parade 1635 01:57:55,694 --> 01:57:58,613 ♪ A wild Count Baste blast 1636 01:57:58,738 --> 01:58:02,075 ♪ I'm the bells of St Peter's in Rome 1637 01:58:02,158 --> 01:58:05,537 ♪ I'm tissue paper on a comb 1638 01:58:05,620 --> 01:58:09,082 ♪ And all kinds of music 1639 01:58:09,207 --> 01:58:12,585 ♪ Is pouring out of me 1640 01:58:12,669 --> 01:58:17,340 ♪ 'Cause somebody loves me at last 1641 01:59:06,014 --> 01:59:10,143 ♪ Somebody loves me 1642 01:59:12,979 --> 01:59:16,816 (BRASS BAND STRIKES UP) 1643 02:00:04,197 --> 02:00:07,659 MUSICIANS: ♪ She's a brass band, she's a harpsichord 1644 02:00:07,742 --> 02:00:10,870 ♪ She's a clarinet 1645 02:00:11,287 --> 02:00:14,749 ♪ She's the Philadelphia Orchestra 1646 02:00:14,874 --> 02:00:17,961 ♪ The Modern Jazz Quartet 1647 02:01:26,696 --> 02:01:30,033 ♪ She's a brass band, she's a harpsichord 1648 02:01:30,116 --> 02:01:31,951 ♪ She's a clarinet ♪ 1649 02:01:32,076 --> 02:01:33,536 That's me! 1650 02:01:33,620 --> 02:01:37,165 ♪ She's the Philadelphia Orchestra 1651 02:01:37,290 --> 02:01:40,084 ♪ She's the Modern Jazz Quartet 1652 02:01:40,418 --> 02:01:43,630 ♪ She's the band from Macy's Big Parade 1653 02:01:43,713 --> 02:01:46,925 ♪ A wild Count Baste blast 1654 02:01:47,008 --> 02:01:50,094 ♪ She's the bells of St Peter's in Rome 1655 02:01:50,178 --> 02:01:53,932 ♪ She's tissue paper on a comb 1656 02:02:01,397 --> 02:02:03,900 ♪ Somebody loves me ♪ 1657 02:02:09,989 --> 02:02:11,241 At last! 1658 02:02:11,324 --> 02:02:13,284 (DRUM SOLO) 1659 02:02:55,368 --> 02:02:57,662 Oh, look, you don't have to come in. 1660 02:02:57,745 --> 02:02:59,330 No, it's all right. It's all right. 1661 02:02:59,414 --> 02:03:02,834 - I'll just be a few minutes. - That's all right. Fine, just fine. 1662 02:03:06,254 --> 02:03:09,007 Hey, anybody in there? 1663 02:03:11,217 --> 02:03:12,969 - Oh, it's you. - Herman, what's going' on? 1664 02:03:13,052 --> 02:03:14,053 How come you're closed? 1665 02:03:14,178 --> 02:03:16,222 Ah, business stinks. I sent everybody home. 1666 02:03:16,306 --> 02:03:20,059 Aw, but I called Nickie and Helene and I told 'em I was comin' by... 1667 02:03:20,184 --> 02:03:22,770 Hey, you heard the news? I'm tyin' the knot, Herman. 1668 02:03:22,854 --> 02:03:25,606 I'm gettin' spliced! I'm gettin' hitched! 1669 02:03:25,690 --> 02:03:27,608 - Oh, yeah, I heard. - Look. 1670 02:03:27,734 --> 02:03:29,777 This is him. This is the one. 1671 02:03:29,944 --> 02:03:34,032 Oscar Lindquist, this is Herman, affectionately known as "Der Führer". 1672 02:03:34,157 --> 02:03:35,199 - How do you do? - Right. 1673 02:03:35,325 --> 02:03:37,243 - Well, I got some work to do. - Wait, wait. 1674 02:03:37,327 --> 02:03:39,078 I gotta get some things out of my locker. 1675 02:03:39,162 --> 02:03:41,164 Okay, but don't take none of the hangers. 1676 02:03:41,247 --> 02:03:43,600 Every time a girl leaves here, she always takes all the hangers. 1677 02:03:43,624 --> 02:03:45,060 CHARITY: He's kind of gruff on the outside, 1678 02:03:45,084 --> 02:03:47,879 but inside, he's really a very rotten person. 1679 02:03:48,713 --> 02:03:52,717 - Herman, would ya turn on a light? - HERMAN: You should know the way by now. 1680 02:03:52,800 --> 02:03:54,635 Eight years of your life you spend in a place, 1681 02:03:54,719 --> 02:03:57,096 and nobody even cares enough to turn on a light. 1682 02:03:57,221 --> 02:04:00,767 EVERYONE: Surprise! 1683 02:04:00,892 --> 02:04:02,518 We really fooled ya, huh? 1684 02:04:02,602 --> 02:04:04,830 You didn't think we'd let ya get away without givin' ya a party? 1685 02:04:04,854 --> 02:04:07,440 Oh, you shouldn't have! You just shouldn't have! 1686 02:04:07,523 --> 02:04:09,942 - I told you we shouldn't have! - (EVERYONE LAUGHING) 1687 02:04:11,444 --> 02:04:13,446 (PARTY HORNS BLOWING) 1688 02:04:18,201 --> 02:04:22,413 Everybody, everybody, that's him! That's the one! 1689 02:04:27,668 --> 02:04:30,296 This is Mr Oscar Lindquist! 1690 02:04:31,297 --> 02:04:34,592 Now, Oscar, this is Nickie and Helene. Remember I told you so much about 'em? 1691 02:04:35,134 --> 02:04:36,677 HERMAN: All right, folks! 1692 02:04:36,719 --> 02:04:40,014 And now, through the courtesy of the hostesses here at the Fandango Ballroom... 1693 02:04:40,139 --> 02:04:41,307 (CHEERING) 1694 02:04:41,391 --> 02:04:43,184 In cooperation with the waiters... 1695 02:04:43,309 --> 02:04:44,309 (CHEERING) 1696 02:04:44,352 --> 02:04:46,354 - Chet, the bouncer... - (CHEERING) 1697 02:04:46,437 --> 02:04:47,522 Irving, the cop... 1698 02:04:47,605 --> 02:04:48,940 (BOOING) 1699 02:04:49,023 --> 02:04:52,402 And our three regular customers since 1949... 1700 02:04:52,485 --> 02:04:54,570 (LOUD CHEERING) 1701 02:04:54,654 --> 02:04:57,573 - We present... - (PARTY HORNS BLOWING) 1702 02:04:57,657 --> 02:05:00,243 A seventeen-dollar cake! 1703 02:05:04,330 --> 02:05:06,457 "Happy Birthday, Angelo"? 1704 02:05:06,582 --> 02:05:09,127 You couldn't get a new cake, ya cheapskate? 1705 02:05:09,210 --> 02:05:11,629 That's all they had on such short notice. 1706 02:05:11,754 --> 02:05:14,132 No, no, no! It's the sentiment that counts. 1707 02:05:14,215 --> 02:05:18,261 I thank you, and Oscar thanks you, and Angelo thanks you. 1708 02:05:18,344 --> 02:05:19,345 You know somethin', pal? 1709 02:05:19,429 --> 02:05:22,098 - For a broad, she's got a lotta class! - (AUDIBLE SLAP) 1710 02:05:22,223 --> 02:05:23,850 Hey, somebody get Mr Whatsits a beer. 1711 02:05:23,975 --> 02:05:26,227 The present, the present! 1712 02:05:28,146 --> 02:05:33,025 Charity Hope Valentine, we who have lived with you, undressed with you, 1713 02:05:33,109 --> 02:05:36,779 suffered the indignities of this crummy joint with you. 1714 02:05:36,904 --> 02:05:38,990 We who have come to know you, 1715 02:05:39,198 --> 02:05:40,533 and to love you, 1716 02:05:40,658 --> 02:05:43,828 on this, your nuptial eve... 1717 02:05:43,953 --> 02:05:45,955 - Shut up! - MAN: Get it over with. 1718 02:05:46,038 --> 02:05:49,000 We just wanna wish you... My God, I think I'm gonna cry. 1719 02:05:49,083 --> 02:05:52,336 HELENE: No! Will ya quit slobberin' all over the cake? 1720 02:05:52,420 --> 02:05:55,840 Get down! Let me do it! Stop it, now! 1721 02:05:56,048 --> 02:05:59,469 Charity, honey, we just wanted to... 1722 02:05:59,552 --> 02:06:02,638 God, we're gonna miss you, girl! 1723 02:06:03,389 --> 02:06:06,225 I'll give it to her. I'm the one that picked it out, anyway. 1724 02:06:06,350 --> 02:06:11,105 Charity, please accept this gift as a token of our estimation. 1725 02:06:13,900 --> 02:06:16,402 HERMAN: I hope it's a nice gift. I wonder what... 1726 02:06:16,486 --> 02:06:19,197 What the hell kind of a wedding present is that? 1727 02:06:19,322 --> 02:06:23,826 I thought she was pregnant. Isn't that why she's getting married? 1728 02:06:26,704 --> 02:06:29,832 It's the nicest, nicest wedding present I ever got. 1729 02:06:30,958 --> 02:06:32,627 Attagirl! 1730 02:06:32,710 --> 02:06:34,420 All right, folks. 1731 02:06:34,504 --> 02:06:36,565 You know it ain't often that one of our group goes off 1732 02:06:36,589 --> 02:06:38,758 to marry a nice, respectable guy. 1733 02:06:38,883 --> 02:06:41,278 As a matter of fact, this is the first time it's ever happened. 1734 02:06:41,302 --> 02:06:42,303 (LAUGHTER) 1735 02:06:42,386 --> 02:06:46,724 So in honour of our own blushing bride-to-be, Miss Charity Valentine, 1736 02:06:46,807 --> 02:06:50,144 - I would like to say... - (GROANING) 1737 02:06:50,269 --> 02:06:53,022 Wait a minute! Wait a minute! 1738 02:06:53,773 --> 02:06:54,774 Gee! 1739 02:06:55,149 --> 02:06:58,402 ♪ It's tough for a loudmouthed mug like me 1740 02:06:58,444 --> 02:07:01,113 ♪ Who all the time bellows like a bull 1741 02:07:01,239 --> 02:07:03,032 (LOWING NOISES) 1742 02:07:03,115 --> 02:07:07,161 ♪ To make with the words about the missus-to-be 1743 02:07:07,245 --> 02:07:11,415 ♪ When what you think is an empty heart is full 1744 02:07:12,375 --> 02:07:16,504 ♪ Tomorrow, when you say "I do" 1745 02:07:16,629 --> 02:07:19,215 ♪ I'll die 1746 02:07:20,383 --> 02:07:23,553 ♪ I'm almost too ashamed 1747 02:07:23,844 --> 02:07:28,933 ♪ To tell you why 1748 02:07:29,392 --> 02:07:34,313 ♪ I... 1749 02:07:34,522 --> 02:07:36,023 ♪ Love to cry at weddings 1750 02:07:36,148 --> 02:07:38,442 ♪ How I love to cry at weddings 1751 02:07:38,484 --> 02:07:42,530 ♪ I walk into a chapel and get happily hysterical 1752 02:07:42,613 --> 02:07:44,574 ♪ The ushers and attendants 1753 02:07:44,657 --> 02:07:46,617 ♪ The family dependents 1754 02:07:46,701 --> 02:07:48,744 ♪ I see them, and I start to sniff 1755 02:07:48,869 --> 02:07:50,830 ♪ "Have you an extra handkerchief?" 1756 02:07:50,913 --> 02:07:52,582 ♪ And all through the service 1757 02:07:52,665 --> 02:07:54,750 ♪ While the bride and groom look nervous 1758 02:07:55,167 --> 02:07:56,794 ♪ Tears of joy are streaming 1759 02:07:56,877 --> 02:07:58,963 -♪ Down my face -ALL: ♪ Do-own his face 1760 02:07:59,046 --> 02:08:01,382 ♪ I love to cry at weddings 1761 02:08:01,465 --> 02:08:03,134 ♪ Anybody's wedding 1762 02:08:03,217 --> 02:08:06,804 ALL: ♪ Anytime, anywhere, anyplace 1763 02:08:07,430 --> 02:08:09,223 ♪ I always weep at weddings 1764 02:08:09,307 --> 02:08:11,517 ♪ I'm a soggy creep at weddings 1765 02:08:11,642 --> 02:08:13,769 ♪ Oh, what's so sweet and sloppy as 1766 02:08:13,853 --> 02:08:15,688 ♪ "Oh, promise me", and all that jazz 1767 02:08:15,813 --> 02:08:17,815 ♪ The man you rest your head with 1768 02:08:17,898 --> 02:08:19,942 ♪ The man you share your bed with 1769 02:08:20,026 --> 02:08:22,028 ♪ Is married to you so you know 1770 02:08:22,069 --> 02:08:24,071 ♪ He won't jump up and dress and blow 1771 02:08:24,196 --> 02:08:28,492 -♪ I could marry Herman -♪ And be permanently sorry 1772 02:08:28,659 --> 02:08:32,330 ♪ We would make a really lousy pair 1773 02:08:32,413 --> 02:08:34,790 ♪ But, gee, I want a wedding 1774 02:08:34,874 --> 02:08:36,667 ♪ Any kind of wedding 1775 02:08:36,751 --> 02:08:40,755 ALL: ♪ Anytime, anyplace, anywhere 1776 02:08:40,838 --> 02:08:42,757 ♪ And all through the service 1777 02:08:42,840 --> 02:08:45,134 ♪ While the bride and groom look nervous 1778 02:08:45,259 --> 02:08:48,971 ♪ Tears of joy are streaming down my face 1779 02:08:49,055 --> 02:08:51,349 ♪ I love to cry at weddings 1780 02:08:51,474 --> 02:08:53,017 ♪ Anybody's wedding 1781 02:08:53,100 --> 02:08:55,144 ♪ Anytime, anywhere 1782 02:08:55,269 --> 02:08:57,772 -HERMAN: ♪ Anyplace -ALL: ♪ Doodle-le-do 1783 02:08:57,897 --> 02:09:01,192 ♪ I love to cry at weddings 1784 02:09:01,275 --> 02:09:06,113 ♪ How I love to cry at weddings 1785 02:09:06,197 --> 02:09:08,115 ♪ I walk into a chapel 1786 02:09:08,199 --> 02:09:10,576 ♪ And get happily hysterical 1787 02:09:10,660 --> 02:09:14,205 ♪ The ushers and attendants 1788 02:09:14,664 --> 02:09:18,834 ♪ The family dependents 1789 02:09:18,918 --> 02:09:21,170 ♪ I see them and I start to sniff 1790 02:09:21,295 --> 02:09:23,297 ♪ "Have you an extra handkerchief?" 1791 02:09:23,381 --> 02:09:26,676 ♪ And all through the service 1792 02:09:26,759 --> 02:09:30,846 ♪ While the bride and groom look nervous 1793 02:09:30,930 --> 02:09:33,224 (LAUGHTER) 1794 02:09:33,557 --> 02:09:35,935 HERMAN: ♪ I drink champagne 1795 02:09:36,018 --> 02:09:40,606 ♪ And sing Sweet Adeline 1796 02:09:40,690 --> 02:09:45,111 -♪ Ha ha ha ha - ♪ (SUSTAINED HIGH NOTE) 1797 02:09:45,736 --> 02:09:49,407 ♪ I love to cry 1798 02:09:49,490 --> 02:09:52,576 ♪ At weddings 1799 02:09:52,660 --> 02:09:58,374 ♪ Anybody's wedding 1800 02:09:59,125 --> 02:10:02,962 ♪ Just as long as it's not mine! ♪ 1801 02:10:03,963 --> 02:10:06,924 Okay, everybody, the food is on me! 1802 02:10:07,174 --> 02:10:08,718 (PIANO PLAYING) 1803 02:10:46,046 --> 02:10:48,591 - Hey, Johnny. - Lindquist. Oscar Lindquist. 1804 02:10:48,674 --> 02:10:51,427 Yeah, you just make sure you treat her right. You get me? 1805 02:10:51,510 --> 02:10:52,845 Yes, of course. 1806 02:10:52,928 --> 02:10:55,598 'Cause she's entitled, I mean, really entitled. 1807 02:10:55,681 --> 02:10:57,725 If I was to list for you all the rotten deals 1808 02:10:57,808 --> 02:11:00,186 that sweet, stupid, hard-luck dame's been dealt... 1809 02:11:00,269 --> 02:11:02,309 - If I was to tell you... - There's no need, really. 1810 02:11:02,354 --> 02:11:04,982 Oh, yeah, that's right. You know all about it. 1811 02:11:05,107 --> 02:11:07,568 Well, frankly, I was dead set against her telling ya anything. 1812 02:11:07,693 --> 02:11:09,069 But it seems you're a saint. 1813 02:11:09,153 --> 02:11:10,433 I mean, she tells you everything, 1814 02:11:10,529 --> 02:11:12,615 and you say it doesn't matter, right? 1815 02:11:12,698 --> 02:11:14,283 That's right. 1816 02:11:15,993 --> 02:11:17,411 Say it again. 1817 02:11:17,495 --> 02:11:21,665 Oh ho ho! She hasn't been makin' a pitch for herself, has she? 1818 02:11:21,749 --> 02:11:23,584 Well, he's taken. 1819 02:11:24,627 --> 02:11:27,254 Hold this for me, would ya? I'll be right back. 1820 02:11:45,564 --> 02:11:48,734 - Well? - Well... 1821 02:11:48,818 --> 02:11:50,277 Well. 1822 02:11:51,862 --> 02:11:53,656 (SOBBING) 1823 02:11:53,739 --> 02:11:56,408 It can happen, though, you see? 1824 02:11:56,534 --> 02:11:59,787 You just gotta keep hopin'. That's the important thing. 1825 02:11:59,912 --> 02:12:02,289 I mean, miracles do happen. 1826 02:12:20,474 --> 02:12:23,769 - CHARITY: Everybody, so long! - ALL: Bye, Charity! 1827 02:12:23,894 --> 02:12:28,107 ♪ I love to cry at weddings 1828 02:12:28,232 --> 02:12:31,151 ♪ Anybody's wedding 1829 02:12:31,277 --> 02:12:35,072 ♪ Anytime, anyplace 1830 02:12:35,155 --> 02:12:39,034 ♪ Anywhere 1831 02:12:39,201 --> 02:12:41,120 ♪ I love to cry at weddings 1832 02:12:41,203 --> 02:12:43,581 ♪ How I love to cry at weddings 1833 02:12:43,664 --> 02:12:47,084 ♪ I walk into a chapel, and get happily hysterical 1834 02:12:47,209 --> 02:12:50,004 - ♪ The ushers and attendants ♪ - (BALLOON POPPING) 1835 02:12:50,129 --> 02:12:52,882 ♪ The family dependents 1836 02:12:52,965 --> 02:12:55,134 ♪ I see them, and I start to sniff 1837 02:12:55,217 --> 02:12:57,761 ♪ "Have you an extra handkerchief?" 1838 02:12:57,845 --> 02:12:59,763 ♪ And all through the service 1839 02:12:59,847 --> 02:13:02,099 ♪ While the bride and groom look nervous 1840 02:13:02,182 --> 02:13:03,684 ♪ Tears of joy are streamin' 1841 02:13:03,767 --> 02:13:05,769 -♪ Down my face -♪ Do-own his face 1842 02:13:05,853 --> 02:13:07,354 ♪ I love 1843 02:13:07,479 --> 02:13:09,106 ♪ To cry at weddings 1844 02:13:09,189 --> 02:13:10,649 ♪ Anybody's wedding 1845 02:13:10,733 --> 02:13:12,234 -HERMAN: ♪ Anytime -ALL: ♪ Anytime 1846 02:13:12,359 --> 02:13:14,236 -HERMAN: ♪ Anywhere -ALL: ♪ Anywhere 1847 02:13:14,320 --> 02:13:22,119 -HERMAN: ♪ Anyplace -ALL: ♪ Anyplace ♪ 1848 02:13:37,092 --> 02:13:39,094 (WOMEN LAUGHING) 1849 02:13:41,847 --> 02:13:43,849 (WEDDING PARTY LAUGHING) 1850 02:14:05,996 --> 02:14:09,333 - (CHARITY LAUGHING) - Did... Didn't you see the sign? 1851 02:14:09,416 --> 02:14:13,837 "Please do not throw any rice in the halls or on the stairs." 1852 02:14:13,879 --> 02:14:17,675 That's because one out of every 42 accidents occurs in a public building. 1853 02:14:17,800 --> 02:14:19,843 Oh. I'll be careful. 1854 02:14:21,011 --> 02:14:22,262 Look. 1855 02:14:25,474 --> 02:14:27,017 Ya like it? 1856 02:14:27,893 --> 02:14:30,270 Yeah, it's, er... 1857 02:14:30,479 --> 02:14:33,899 - It's, er... - It caught my eye, you know. 1858 02:14:33,983 --> 02:14:35,985 And you, and your flowers, and everything. 1859 02:14:36,068 --> 02:14:37,444 Oh. 1860 02:14:37,569 --> 02:14:40,572 - You don't like it? - No, I... I do, I do. 1861 02:14:40,614 --> 02:14:42,323 It's-it's-it's very... 1862 02:14:42,324 --> 02:14:44,410 flowery. 1863 02:14:48,372 --> 02:14:51,250 Boy, there sure are a lot of questions here. 1864 02:14:51,792 --> 02:14:53,711 Okay, name: 1865 02:14:54,420 --> 02:14:58,132 "Charity Hope Valentine." 1866 02:14:58,257 --> 02:15:01,510 Soon to become Mrs Oscar Lindquist! 1867 02:15:02,636 --> 02:15:06,557 Age... Yeah, what the hell? 1868 02:15:06,640 --> 02:15:08,225 Heck. 1869 02:15:09,977 --> 02:15:12,229 Place of birth: New York. 1870 02:15:12,312 --> 02:15:15,190 "New York, New York." 1871 02:15:18,485 --> 02:15:21,071 Identifying marks? What are they? 1872 02:15:21,155 --> 02:15:26,535 You know, scars, birthmarks, 1873 02:15:27,828 --> 02:15:28,912 tattoos. 1874 02:15:32,207 --> 02:15:34,543 Oh. "Tattoo." 1875 02:15:34,626 --> 02:15:37,796 I'm gonna have it taken off, Oscar, you know. 1876 02:15:37,880 --> 02:15:40,924 Occupation: "Unemployed." 1877 02:15:41,008 --> 02:15:43,969 It hurts like crazy, they say, but you can have 'em taken off. 1878 02:15:44,094 --> 02:15:45,971 Charity... 1879 02:15:46,055 --> 02:15:47,765 Yeah? 1880 02:15:49,349 --> 02:15:53,187 Okay, finished. Your turn. 1881 02:15:54,688 --> 02:15:57,983 Boy, I'll tell ya, I didn't care too much for the first half of my life, 1882 02:15:58,108 --> 02:16:00,861 but the second half sure is gettin' good! 1883 02:16:02,529 --> 02:16:07,743 (TO "HERE COMES THE BRIDE") ♪ Da dum da-dum, dum dum da-dum ♪ 1884 02:16:09,953 --> 02:16:12,998 Charity, I can't go through with it. 1885 02:16:13,874 --> 02:16:16,251 ♪ Dum dum da-dum ♪ 1886 02:16:16,335 --> 02:16:19,421 Did you hear what I said, Charity? I can't marry you. 1887 02:16:19,671 --> 02:16:23,675 (SLOWER) ♪ Dum dum da-dum... ♪ 1888 02:16:23,759 --> 02:16:26,303 You're nervous, aren't ya, Oscar? 1889 02:16:26,386 --> 02:16:29,098 You know, it's perfectly natural for the groom to be nervous and... 1890 02:16:29,139 --> 02:16:30,808 I can't do it. 1891 02:16:33,268 --> 02:16:35,312 Is this a joke? 1892 02:16:35,938 --> 02:16:38,315 (CHUCKLING) Is this a joke, Oscar? 1893 02:16:38,398 --> 02:16:41,568 'Cause if this is a joke, it's a very rotten joke. 1894 02:16:42,653 --> 02:16:44,655 Oh, this isn't a joke! 1895 02:16:44,738 --> 02:16:48,158 Nobody would joke about a thing like this. 1896 02:16:49,409 --> 02:16:50,619 Is it a joke? 1897 02:16:55,207 --> 02:16:59,002 I know what it is! It's this stupid dress! 1898 02:16:59,044 --> 02:17:01,171 Oh, me and my rotten, crummy taste. 1899 02:17:01,255 --> 02:17:03,015 Why don't we go out and get me another dress, 1900 02:17:03,090 --> 02:17:04,400 and this time you pick it out, okay? 1901 02:17:04,424 --> 02:17:07,803 - It's not the dress. - It's not the dress? 1902 02:17:08,595 --> 02:17:10,472 It's the way I talk, isn't it? 1903 02:17:10,597 --> 02:17:14,017 I know. I know that sometimes I say those dumb things. 1904 02:17:14,059 --> 02:17:16,412 You know, but if I went to night school, in no time at all... 1905 02:17:16,436 --> 02:17:19,189 Oh, Charity, it's not you. It's me. 1906 02:17:19,273 --> 02:17:23,402 - What are you trying to tell me? - I don't know how to explain it. 1907 02:17:23,527 --> 02:17:26,405 Well, try, Oscar. Holy mackerel, please try. 1908 02:17:26,530 --> 02:17:29,616 Charity, I have this thing, this mental block. 1909 02:17:30,242 --> 02:17:33,120 What? So? There's a lot of that goin' around. 1910 02:17:33,203 --> 02:17:36,790 A stupid, childish, insane fixation. 1911 02:17:36,874 --> 02:17:38,625 Now, I... I know it's wrong. 1912 02:17:38,750 --> 02:17:42,629 I know it's not what a person's done, it... it's what's inside. 1913 02:17:42,754 --> 02:17:45,632 But I can't help it. Did you hear that? 1914 02:17:45,757 --> 02:17:47,843 I know it's wrong, and I can't help it. 1915 02:17:51,972 --> 02:17:54,600 I got... I got an idea. 1916 02:17:54,683 --> 02:17:56,977 Let's you and me go ahead and get married, 1917 02:17:57,060 --> 02:17:59,229 and then, afterward... 1918 02:17:59,313 --> 02:18:01,690 we'll talk about your fixation, okay? 1919 02:18:01,732 --> 02:18:03,734 Wouldn't do any good. It's all those other men. 1920 02:18:05,152 --> 02:18:07,863 - Huh? - The other men. 1921 02:18:09,114 --> 02:18:12,659 Oh, Oscar, you said that didn't matter. You said that didn't make any... 1922 02:18:12,743 --> 02:18:14,119 I thought, if I said it enough, 1923 02:18:14,203 --> 02:18:15,930 I could convince myself that it didn't matter. 1924 02:18:15,954 --> 02:18:17,414 But it... it does. 1925 02:18:21,210 --> 02:18:22,711 Oh! 1926 02:18:22,794 --> 02:18:25,255 You know, Oscar, you're just makin' a mountain 1927 02:18:25,339 --> 02:18:28,091 - out of a couple of guys... - How many? 1928 02:18:29,927 --> 02:18:31,136 - Huh? - How many?! 1929 02:18:31,220 --> 02:18:33,865 - I want to know exactly how many! - But Oscar, don't talk like that 1930 02:18:33,889 --> 02:18:36,475 in that tone of voice, because I can't think. 1931 02:18:39,770 --> 02:18:41,021 How many? 1932 02:18:43,607 --> 02:18:46,652 Well, how far back do you want me to go? 1933 02:18:48,820 --> 02:18:52,032 Oh, God. I'm a terrible person. I have no right asking you things like that. 1934 02:18:52,115 --> 02:18:55,744 Oh, no. Oh, Oscar. You can ask me any question you want. 1935 02:18:55,827 --> 02:18:57,513 - I won't hide a thing. - You don't understand. 1936 02:18:57,537 --> 02:18:59,515 I don't want to know. I don't want to know anything. 1937 02:18:59,539 --> 02:19:01,726 Okay, then you get nothin' out of me. Nothin' out of me. 1938 02:19:01,750 --> 02:19:05,754 I'm... I'm very flexible, you know. I can go either way. 1939 02:19:05,879 --> 02:19:08,107 You're better off without me, Charity. I'm doing you a favour. 1940 02:19:08,131 --> 02:19:10,425 Oscar. Oscar! 1941 02:19:10,717 --> 02:19:13,720 Oscar! We could be so happy together. 1942 02:19:13,804 --> 02:19:16,682 You know, growing flowers in New Jersey. 1943 02:19:16,765 --> 02:19:19,285 And, you know, on days when your mental block was botherin' you, 1944 02:19:19,309 --> 02:19:22,312 you could stay in bed, and I'd grow the flowers. 1945 02:19:22,354 --> 02:19:26,024 (WEDDING PARTY LAUGHTER) 1946 02:19:27,734 --> 02:19:29,403 Oscar. 1947 02:19:30,237 --> 02:19:31,863 Oscar, listen. 1948 02:19:33,490 --> 02:19:35,659 I could change the way I talk, 1949 02:19:35,784 --> 02:19:38,829 and I could change the way I dress, you know. 1950 02:19:38,954 --> 02:19:44,084 But there's certain things a person can't change because they're history. 1951 02:19:44,209 --> 02:19:47,796 And you can't change history, Oscar, no matter how much you want to. 1952 02:19:47,921 --> 02:19:49,464 Oh, Charity... 1953 02:19:51,049 --> 02:19:54,636 Oscar, I got so much to give. Please, let me give it to you. 1954 02:19:55,887 --> 02:19:59,599 Charity, I'm saving you. I'm saving you from me. 1955 02:19:59,725 --> 02:20:02,102 Don't save me. 1956 02:20:03,186 --> 02:20:05,272 Marry me. 1957 02:20:05,689 --> 02:20:07,774 Don't beg, Charity. 1958 02:20:08,358 --> 02:20:10,819 You're too good to beg to anyone. 1959 02:20:11,653 --> 02:20:16,700 Oscar, hey, you know, we don't have to get married if you don't want to. 1960 02:20:16,825 --> 02:20:20,120 I mean, we could just, er... 1961 02:20:20,203 --> 02:20:21,913 you know, be together. 1962 02:20:24,124 --> 02:20:28,337 Don't you understand? I would destroy you. 1963 02:20:29,129 --> 02:20:30,964 But that's okay. 1964 02:20:31,048 --> 02:20:33,425 I'm not doing much now, anyway. 1965 02:20:34,384 --> 02:20:35,844 Oh, God. 1966 02:20:39,723 --> 02:20:41,892 Forgive me. 1967 02:20:46,480 --> 02:20:48,899 Please forgive me. 1968 02:20:58,283 --> 02:21:00,827 I forgive you. 1969 02:21:00,952 --> 02:21:02,537 I forgive... 1970 02:21:29,648 --> 02:21:34,277 CHARITY: ♪ Where am I going, and what will I find? 1971 02:21:34,403 --> 02:21:38,824 ♪ What's in this grab bag that I call my mind? 1972 02:21:38,949 --> 02:21:42,702 ♪ What am I doing, alone on the shelf? 1973 02:21:42,953 --> 02:21:44,871 ♪ Ain't it a shame? 1974 02:21:44,996 --> 02:21:49,126 ♪ No-one's to blame but myself 1975 02:21:50,293 --> 02:21:52,796 ♪ Which way is clear? 1976 02:21:55,006 --> 02:21:58,760 ♪ When you've lost your way 1977 02:21:58,885 --> 02:22:02,222 ♪ Year after year 1978 02:22:03,557 --> 02:22:06,059 ♪ Do I keep falling in love 1979 02:22:06,184 --> 02:22:08,645 ♪ For just the kick of it 1980 02:22:08,770 --> 02:22:12,399 ♪ Staggering through the thin and thick of it 1981 02:22:12,482 --> 02:22:16,945 ♪ Hating each old and tired trick of it? 1982 02:22:17,070 --> 02:22:20,782 ♪ Know what I am, I'm good and sick of it 1983 02:22:20,907 --> 02:22:24,786 ♪ Where am I going? 1984 02:22:24,911 --> 02:22:29,207 ♪ Why do I care? 1985 02:22:29,249 --> 02:22:31,376 ♪ Run to the Bronx 1986 02:22:31,460 --> 02:22:34,254 ♪ Or Washington Square 1987 02:22:34,379 --> 02:22:37,257 ♪ No matter where I run 1988 02:22:37,340 --> 02:22:40,719 ♪ I meet myself there 1989 02:22:40,802 --> 02:22:44,473 ♪ Looking inside me 1990 02:22:44,598 --> 02:22:48,643 ♪ What do I see? 1991 02:22:48,768 --> 02:22:51,521 ♪ Anger and hope and doubt 1992 02:22:51,646 --> 02:22:55,984 ♪ What am I all about, and where am I going? ♪ 1993 02:22:58,987 --> 02:23:00,489 (INSERTING COINS) 1994 02:23:00,572 --> 02:23:02,824 (DIALLING) 1995 02:23:09,372 --> 02:23:11,666 (PHONE RINGING) 1996 02:23:11,875 --> 02:23:13,293 Yeah? 1997 02:23:13,960 --> 02:23:16,296 Hey, it's the old married lady! 1998 02:23:16,421 --> 02:23:18,798 (EXCITED CHATTERING) 1999 02:23:18,882 --> 02:23:22,010 - Hi, baby, it's me. How'd it go? - Nickie... 2000 02:23:22,135 --> 02:23:26,097 What are you doin' callin' here? You must have better things to do. 2001 02:23:26,223 --> 02:23:28,808 Nickie, I wanna talk to ya. 2002 02:23:28,934 --> 02:23:31,019 Oh, you oughta hear her. She's all choked up. 2003 02:23:31,144 --> 02:23:33,897 Charity, I can't tell ya how happy all of us are for ya. 2004 02:23:33,980 --> 02:23:36,650 We've been doin' nothin' else but talkin' about it all day. 2005 02:23:36,733 --> 02:23:39,319 Tell us about the ceremony. It must have been beautiful. 2006 02:23:39,402 --> 02:23:42,030 And talk loud, 'cause we're all listenin'. 2007 02:23:45,700 --> 02:23:47,744 Oh. Yeah. 2008 02:23:48,495 --> 02:23:51,373 Yeah, it... it was beautiful. 2009 02:23:52,123 --> 02:23:54,167 It was beautiful, just like in the movies. 2010 02:23:54,584 --> 02:23:56,979 - Did he give you a nice ring? - Did he carry you over the threshold? 2011 02:23:57,003 --> 02:24:00,006 - Did he hang out a "do not disturb" sign? - Ssh! I can't hear. 2012 02:24:00,257 --> 02:24:03,760 Oh, yeah, oh yeah, he did all those things. 2013 02:24:03,885 --> 02:24:06,012 Just like in the movies, you know? 2014 02:24:06,972 --> 02:24:10,600 Well, put the groom on. We wanna hear his side! 2015 02:24:11,059 --> 02:24:12,352 Oh... 2016 02:24:13,645 --> 02:24:16,189 Well, I can't. He can't, you know. 2017 02:24:17,065 --> 02:24:19,359 We promise we won't say nothin' dirty. 2018 02:24:19,484 --> 02:24:22,862 We just wanna say "good luck". Put him on! 2019 02:24:25,115 --> 02:24:27,867 Okay, just... just a second. 2020 02:24:29,494 --> 02:24:35,083 Honey? Um... the girls wanna say "good luck", you know? 2021 02:24:38,211 --> 02:24:42,507 He says... he says he, er... he can't. He's shavin', you know. 2022 02:24:42,632 --> 02:24:44,801 (MOUTHING SILENTLY) 2023 02:24:44,884 --> 02:24:48,179 Are you happy, baby? Are you finally happy? 2024 02:24:49,764 --> 02:24:51,224 Yeah. 2025 02:24:51,850 --> 02:24:53,852 Yeah, I'm finally happy. 2026 02:24:54,394 --> 02:24:57,480 I hope so. Listen, don't talk to us no more. 2027 02:24:57,606 --> 02:25:00,233 - Any man who's shaving means business! - (ALL LAUGHING) 2028 02:25:00,317 --> 02:25:02,319 So long, baby, and thanks for callin'. 2029 02:25:02,444 --> 02:25:04,946 It meant a lot you thinkin' about us at a time like this. 2030 02:25:05,071 --> 02:25:07,711 Hey, listen, and if the first one's a girl, you can call it Nickie. 2031 02:25:07,824 --> 02:25:11,620 - If it's a boy, you can call it Nicky. - So long, baby! 2032 02:25:11,828 --> 02:25:15,248 ALL: Bye! Bye! 2033 02:25:15,332 --> 02:25:17,334 (THEY HANG UP) 2034 02:25:17,500 --> 02:25:19,252 Bye. 2035 02:25:25,550 --> 02:25:28,595 ♪ Looking inside me 2036 02:25:29,429 --> 02:25:31,890 ♪ What do I see? 2037 02:25:32,724 --> 02:25:36,603 ♪ Anger, and hope, and doubt 2038 02:25:36,686 --> 02:25:38,813 ♪ What am I all about? 2039 02:25:38,938 --> 02:25:42,275 ♪ And where am I going? ♪ 2040 02:25:44,569 --> 02:25:47,197 (SNIFFLING) You tell me. 2041 02:26:18,561 --> 02:26:20,271 (SPLASHING) 2042 02:26:33,076 --> 02:26:36,329 (ACOUSTIC GUITAR PLAYING) 2043 02:26:40,125 --> 02:26:42,210 - Good morning. - Good morning. 2044 02:26:42,335 --> 02:26:44,421 - Good morning. - Good morning. 2045 02:26:49,092 --> 02:26:50,552 Good morning. 2046 02:26:51,553 --> 02:26:53,012 Good morning. 2047 02:27:24,461 --> 02:27:26,129 Good morning. 2048 02:27:28,381 --> 02:27:30,884 - Good morning. - Good morning. 2049 02:27:31,259 --> 02:27:32,469 Good morning. 2050 02:27:32,594 --> 02:27:34,345 Good morning. 2051 02:27:43,104 --> 02:27:44,481 Morning. 2052 02:27:46,024 --> 02:27:47,317 Love. 2053 02:27:49,778 --> 02:27:52,155 - Love. - Love. 2054 02:27:52,572 --> 02:27:54,783 - Love. - Love. 2055 02:28:05,043 --> 02:28:06,669 Love. 2056 02:28:48,294 --> 02:28:49,546 Good morning. 2057 02:28:49,754 --> 02:28:51,172 Good morning. 155159