All language subtitles for Clean.Slate.2021.1080p.WEBRip.x264.AAC-[YTS.MX]

af Afrikaans
sq Albanian
am Amharic
ar Arabic
hy Armenian
az Azerbaijani
eu Basque
be Belarusian
bn Bengali
bs Bosnian
bg Bulgarian
ca Catalan
ceb Cebuano
ny Chichewa
zh-CN Chinese (Simplified)
zh-TW Chinese (Traditional)
co Corsican
hr Croatian
cs Czech
da Danish
nl Dutch
en English
eo Esperanto
et Estonian
tl Filipino
fi Finnish
fr French
fy Frisian
gl Galician
ka Georgian
de German
el Greek
gu Gujarati
ht Haitian Creole
ha Hausa
haw Hawaiian
iw Hebrew
hi Hindi
hmn Hmong
hu Hungarian
is Icelandic
ig Igbo
id Indonesian
ga Irish
it Italian
ja Japanese
jw Javanese
kn Kannada
kk Kazakh
km Khmer
ko Korean
ku Kurdish (Kurmanji)
ky Kyrgyz
lo Lao
la Latin
lv Latvian
lt Lithuanian
lb Luxembourgish
mk Macedonian
mg Malagasy
ms Malay
ml Malayalam
mt Maltese
mi Maori
mr Marathi
mn Mongolian
my Myanmar (Burmese)
ne Nepali
no Norwegian
ps Pashto
fa Persian
pl Polish
pt Portuguese
pa Punjabi
ro Romanian
ru Russian
sm Samoan
gd Scots Gaelic
sr Serbian
st Sesotho
sn Shona
sd Sindhi
si Sinhala
sk Slovak
sl Slovenian
so Somali
es Spanish Download
su Sundanese
sw Swahili
sv Swedish
tg Tajik
ta Tamil
te Telugu
th Thai
tr Turkish
uk Ukrainian
ur Urdu
uz Uzbek
vi Vietnamese
cy Welsh
xh Xhosa
yi Yiddish
yo Yoruba
zu Zulu
or Odia (Oriya)
rw Kinyarwanda
tk Turkmen
tt Tatar
ug Uyghur
Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,000 --> 00:00:07,000 Downloaded from YTS.MX 2 00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:13,000 Official YIFY movies site: YTS.MX 3 00:00:30,196 --> 00:00:30,822 You're ok. 4 00:00:30,864 --> 00:00:34,117 Today's a good day. Today's a good day for you. 5 00:00:34,159 --> 00:00:37,579 Today's a good day for you. 6 00:00:37,871 --> 00:00:40,040 You're going to church. 7 00:00:40,498 --> 00:00:45,003 You're not gonna use today, you're not gonna use today. 8 00:02:03,665 --> 00:02:04,624 Hey hey hey 9 00:02:04,666 --> 00:02:08,169 Heroin, heroin, heroin, heroin. 10 00:02:08,211 --> 00:02:10,630 That's hard to say- Heroin. 11 00:02:11,131 --> 00:02:12,257 Meth. 12 00:02:12,465 --> 00:02:15,760 Just start a commercial with meth. 13 00:02:17,971 --> 00:02:19,472 Can't get serious. 14 00:02:21,224 --> 00:02:24,185 Heroin, pain pills. Are you addicted? 15 00:02:24,227 --> 00:02:26,646 Are you addicted? 16 00:02:26,688 --> 00:02:29,649 If I wanted heroin and I was sitting here 17 00:02:29,691 --> 00:02:32,652 and had nothing to do, my brain would go into full blown 18 00:02:32,694 --> 00:02:34,863 "how do we get heroin" planning mode. 19 00:02:34,988 --> 00:02:37,282 I was married. I was married. 20 00:02:38,324 --> 00:02:40,118 I had a bright future. 21 00:02:40,160 --> 00:02:42,537 Whereas if I've got some kind of artistic or 22 00:02:42,662 --> 00:02:47,959 creative outlet, then I can say, let's table that thought about heroin 23 00:02:48,209 --> 00:02:50,920 and let's edit a video. 24 00:02:52,964 --> 00:02:56,718 Hi, my name is Josh Litton. I had a bright future. 25 00:02:56,759 --> 00:03:00,972 Then what started out as fun soon became tragedy. 26 00:03:01,097 --> 00:03:04,934 Then what started out as fun and soon became a tragedy. 27 00:03:19,908 --> 00:03:24,913 It's gonna be a good year. Making a short film about recovery. 28 00:03:24,954 --> 00:03:27,040 You know, gonna... 29 00:03:27,081 --> 00:03:29,375 go to meetings, find a sponsor. 30 00:03:33,588 --> 00:03:35,715 It's gonna be a good year. 31 00:03:38,259 --> 00:03:40,220 It's gonna be a good year. 32 00:03:46,226 --> 00:03:48,186 Movies have always just been a place 33 00:03:48,228 --> 00:03:54,192 for me to escape reality and, you know, just get lost in a world. 34 00:03:54,400 --> 00:03:57,070 I love movies. 35 00:04:04,452 --> 00:04:07,747 We pray for more of you and less of us, Lord. 36 00:04:07,789 --> 00:04:10,917 Pray for your blessing over this script that we're writing, God. 37 00:04:10,959 --> 00:04:11,960 Pray that me and Josh just continue 38 00:04:12,001 --> 00:04:16,965 to grow as filmmakers so that our hearts and minds are always fixed on the real 39 00:04:17,006 --> 00:04:20,885 agenda here: to tell our stories in a way that helps people and gets them off 40 00:04:20,927 --> 00:04:22,929 drugs and alcohol addictions, Lord. 41 00:04:25,265 --> 00:04:27,350 People that are struggling with addiction, 42 00:04:27,392 --> 00:04:29,936 it's a hard place to be in and it's a very isolating place to be in. 43 00:04:29,978 --> 00:04:33,273 So I'm hoping that this could be something that can help people. 44 00:04:59,048 --> 00:05:00,842 The commercials and graduation videos, 45 00:05:00,883 --> 00:05:04,804 those are like our day jobs - projects that we make for the program, 46 00:05:04,846 --> 00:05:08,141 but on the fence, you know, that's personal. 47 00:05:14,522 --> 00:05:18,359 To me, this is all practice for making a real short film with actors. 48 00:05:18,401 --> 00:05:22,322 If I only get one shot at this I'm swinging for the fences. 49 00:05:25,241 --> 00:05:31,372 Now, you understand this is an 18-month-long, Christian faith-based ministry. 50 00:05:31,497 --> 00:05:33,374 Alright, that means that when you come 51 00:05:33,499 --> 00:05:36,252 here, you're committed to living here for 18 months. 52 00:05:36,377 --> 00:05:38,921 However, if you decide you want to leave, 53 00:05:38,963 --> 00:05:42,175 I'm going to do everything I can to try to encourage you to stay, 54 00:05:42,300 --> 00:05:46,012 because I want you to fulfill your commitment to overcome your struggle. 55 00:05:46,095 --> 00:05:49,891 Now, we would, first of all, contact your probation officer and let 56 00:05:49,932 --> 00:05:53,478 them know that you're leaving you'll pack all of your belongings up. 57 00:05:53,519 --> 00:05:58,024 Get ready and we will take you to the Interstate 85. 58 00:05:58,066 --> 00:05:59,484 There's a Waffle House there, we'll take you there 59 00:05:59,525 --> 00:06:01,527 because if you want to go somewhere, 60 00:06:01,569 --> 00:06:04,864 then we'll help you get to that point. 61 00:06:09,202 --> 00:06:12,330 So a few weeks goes by, I go to his house. 62 00:06:12,455 --> 00:06:17,585 I went to his house, I was so geeked up dude. The second I sit on his couch out, I hear SHINK 63 00:06:17,627 --> 00:06:21,589 and I look up and he's got a revolver pointed right at my head. 64 00:06:21,631 --> 00:06:23,049 He's like 'you think I'm some kind of bitch? 65 00:06:23,091 --> 00:06:24,425 You think you can rob me? 66 00:06:24,467 --> 00:06:26,010 I know what you did!' 67 00:06:26,177 --> 00:06:28,679 But he squeezed the trigger. 68 00:06:28,721 --> 00:06:32,266 And it went CLICK (whoa) and I saw the whole thing 69 00:06:32,308 --> 00:06:36,646 rotate and I saw the hammer hit, it was loaded and the gun did not go off. 70 00:06:36,687 --> 00:06:37,271 I don't know how. 71 00:06:37,647 --> 00:06:40,983 But as soon as it clicked, I smashed him in the face as hard as I could 72 00:06:41,025 --> 00:06:43,111 and I ran for my life right out that door 73 00:06:43,152 --> 00:06:45,613 right out here where I was parked and I bolted. 74 00:06:45,655 --> 00:06:47,990 He might still live there, I don't... 75 00:06:48,032 --> 00:06:51,035 Let's go knock on the door, let's go say 'hi' to him. 76 00:06:51,244 --> 00:06:53,287 Yeah man, it's insane. 77 00:06:54,956 --> 00:06:56,290 So if you had to give an elevator pitch 78 00:06:56,332 --> 00:06:59,335 for "On the Fence," what would that sound like? 79 00:06:59,460 --> 00:07:06,008 It's a movie about the first step in AA. The main character is realizing that they 80 00:07:06,050 --> 00:07:10,930 are an addict and he's accepting that fact. 81 00:07:13,599 --> 00:07:14,225 In the short film, 82 00:07:14,725 --> 00:07:21,023 the whole idea is the guys who are staying in the recovery center put family pictures 83 00:07:21,065 --> 00:07:24,235 on this fence, hopefully to keep them from leaving. 84 00:07:24,277 --> 00:07:27,738 A reminder - it'll be the last thing they see when they leave the property is their family, 85 00:07:27,780 --> 00:07:31,033 and the reason why they're getting sober. 86 00:07:33,035 --> 00:07:35,705 But this photo is already a little worn out. 87 00:07:35,746 --> 00:07:39,083 Looks like my mom and dad when they were still together. 88 00:07:42,420 --> 00:07:46,340 We don't like to admit that we have a drug problem or just deal with the reason why 89 00:07:46,382 --> 00:07:48,634 we have a drug problem, so we run a lot of times. 90 00:07:48,676 --> 00:07:50,720 I run a lot of times. 91 00:07:50,761 --> 00:07:51,762 Every time you run away, 92 00:07:51,804 --> 00:07:57,894 you usually hurt them probably just as much, if not more than you hurt yourself. 93 00:08:30,551 --> 00:08:31,385 Making movies and writing, 94 00:08:31,385 --> 00:08:35,932 it's like therapy for me, it makes me feel good because it gets all 95 00:08:35,973 --> 00:08:39,227 that nasty, crazy thoughts in my head out on paper. 96 00:08:39,435 --> 00:08:43,064 Until you have something worth holding on to, you're not going to let go of drugs 97 00:08:43,105 --> 00:08:46,192 like you have to find something that is more meaningful, 98 00:08:46,234 --> 00:08:47,151 so that you can take the leap and let go of 99 00:08:47,193 --> 00:08:51,280 the thing you don't want to let go of, to go grab something new and scary 100 00:08:51,322 --> 00:08:53,908 and see if that holds you the way that drugs did. 101 00:08:53,950 --> 00:08:56,369 Are you the creator of that? That was really cool, man. 102 00:08:56,410 --> 00:08:57,662 Thanks. 103 00:09:08,130 --> 00:09:09,173 Oh shit! 104 00:09:12,426 --> 00:09:16,055 It's a scene that would be in a gas station like this. 105 00:09:16,180 --> 00:09:19,934 It's a short film and it's a guy that's leaving a rehab program that he's in. 106 00:09:19,976 --> 00:09:21,561 This would be perfect, actually. 107 00:09:21,602 --> 00:09:23,729 OK, well give us a call if you think of something you can do. 108 00:09:23,771 --> 00:09:25,439 We sure would appreciate it. 109 00:09:25,481 --> 00:09:27,275 You do it this time. I like it. 110 00:09:27,316 --> 00:09:28,401 You're the director, dammit. 111 00:09:28,442 --> 00:09:29,944 Shut up. 112 00:09:29,986 --> 00:09:33,155 We got a short film that we're making about recovery. 113 00:09:33,197 --> 00:09:34,323 Cassidy. 114 00:09:34,365 --> 00:09:37,076 I'm Josh. Pleased to meet you. 115 00:09:37,118 --> 00:09:38,786 Cool, we'll give him a call. 116 00:09:38,828 --> 00:09:42,915 It's a low slash no-budget independent thing we're doing. 117 00:09:42,957 --> 00:09:45,001 This guy comes here to meet his mom 118 00:09:45,042 --> 00:09:50,131 who has been enabling him, and she decides not to enable him anymore. 119 00:09:50,923 --> 00:09:56,095 It's not a big set-up, you know it would be some lights and some actors... 120 00:10:11,944 --> 00:10:15,197 That's that Methamphetamine, you know what I mean? 121 00:10:15,239 --> 00:10:16,907 Methamphetamine. 122 00:10:16,949 --> 00:10:20,494 90 percent of them, I pulled myself with pliers. 123 00:10:20,995 --> 00:10:24,915 I'm a country boy, you know what I'm saying? 124 00:10:25,082 --> 00:10:31,047 Them things get lose, man, I'll grab the pliers HAA! Pull that thing out. 125 00:10:37,428 --> 00:10:43,934 God is stretching me right now with this film stuff, a lot of learning to do. 126 00:10:43,976 --> 00:10:47,855 I feel like I'm in over my head. 127 00:10:51,484 --> 00:10:53,736 -Why thank you, sir. -You're very welcome ma'am. 128 00:10:53,861 --> 00:10:55,988 -You have a good day now. -You too, stay outta trouble 129 00:10:56,113 --> 00:10:57,198 -I'm trying. 130 00:10:58,282 --> 00:10:59,075 I'm Jared Callahan, 131 00:10:59,075 --> 00:11:02,787 I'm a local film producer and I met the guys when they came 132 00:11:02,828 --> 00:11:06,874 to the film festival and Cassidy told me the two hour version of his life story. 133 00:11:06,916 --> 00:11:10,503 And I'm all in. I mean, I have friends and family in recovery. 134 00:11:10,544 --> 00:11:11,796 I think these stories are important. 135 00:11:11,837 --> 00:11:14,048 So now I'm gonna help these guys craft their 136 00:11:14,090 --> 00:11:17,718 ideas into a makeable, hopefully professional short film. 137 00:11:17,760 --> 00:11:20,888 -Pete makes up excuse. -For taking the pills. 138 00:11:21,138 --> 00:11:23,516 -And then it ends with crazy like.. -I know it was you! 139 00:11:23,557 --> 00:11:26,018 Under his strength, kind of even like comes down. 140 00:11:26,060 --> 00:11:29,438 -Pushes him down. -Yeah, sure. Like a push-shove down. 141 00:11:29,939 --> 00:11:34,735 Had another brother get kicked out yesterday because... 142 00:11:34,860 --> 00:11:37,697 Because he failed a drug test. 143 00:11:37,822 --> 00:11:39,573 So that's... 144 00:11:39,615 --> 00:11:41,534 Kinda nerve-wracking and stressful. 145 00:11:41,659 --> 00:11:42,493 They found out that he had been doing 146 00:11:42,493 --> 00:11:47,373 crystal meth for a month and it was like their good friend Canyon, 147 00:11:47,498 --> 00:11:51,043 the one that they've been making videos and commercials with. 148 00:11:55,214 --> 00:11:56,173 So today, we're supposed to be going 149 00:11:56,215 --> 00:12:02,763 for the whole movie and my experts are having freak outs in the parking lot. 150 00:12:15,985 --> 00:12:19,572 A lot of you guys know what we've been up to a little bit with the short film. 151 00:12:19,697 --> 00:12:22,992 We thought maybe tonight we'd read you guys the script that we're working with. 152 00:12:23,033 --> 00:12:25,077 And then when we're done, seeing what 153 00:12:25,119 --> 00:12:28,456 experiences that you guys have actually had that are like this. 154 00:12:28,581 --> 00:12:33,169 Exterior, fence post, late afternoon, the last post is covered with hundreds 155 00:12:33,210 --> 00:12:36,547 of faded letters and pictures nailed into the wood. 156 00:12:39,341 --> 00:12:44,430 Kinda had a meltdown yesterday, my insecurities came out, you know, 157 00:12:44,472 --> 00:12:50,227 fear of failure, fear of rejection and not being good enough. 158 00:12:50,603 --> 00:12:52,688 "Until you prove that you can get clean, this 159 00:12:52,730 --> 00:12:55,941 family's done being a part of your life." Mother continues, 160 00:12:55,983 --> 00:13:01,113 "I thought my actions were loving you, but they were only feeding your addictions." 161 00:13:01,155 --> 00:13:02,656 She begins to tear up. 162 00:13:02,782 --> 00:13:05,951 "Now my actions will match my love for you." 163 00:13:05,993 --> 00:13:08,245 Pete backs away from the car and is in shock. 164 00:13:08,287 --> 00:13:13,083 The car starts and pulls out of the parking lot away down the road. 165 00:13:14,668 --> 00:13:19,215 This is a kind of a collection of several people's story. 166 00:13:19,340 --> 00:13:23,719 I have a very similar experience. 167 00:13:24,094 --> 00:13:29,058 It was Christmas, so I was doing drugs and drinking in this hotel room. 168 00:13:29,183 --> 00:13:32,812 They pull up and I go to get in the car thinking, let's go do Christmas. 169 00:13:32,895 --> 00:13:35,481 And they both get out and shut the door. 170 00:13:35,523 --> 00:13:39,735 And they have a very similar conversation with me. 171 00:13:40,569 --> 00:13:45,032 They gave me a present, which was like a sweater and said, "Love you, 172 00:13:45,074 --> 00:13:47,993 but, you know, we're done." 173 00:13:51,205 --> 00:13:53,290 Yeah, I identify with that story, 174 00:13:53,332 --> 00:13:57,253 you know, I got kicked out of my parents house when I was 19 because they decided 175 00:13:57,378 --> 00:14:01,590 to stop enabling me and after that I just went downhill real quick. 176 00:14:01,632 --> 00:14:07,596 I stole probably ten, twelve thousand dollars from them and used it on pot and cocaine. 177 00:14:07,638 --> 00:14:08,806 That's what drew me to it, you know, 178 00:14:08,848 --> 00:14:13,227 because it's easy to listen to somebody who's been walked in your shoes than to listen to somebody 179 00:14:13,269 --> 00:14:14,854 that's trying to tell you to do something, 180 00:14:14,895 --> 00:14:17,022 that ain't never walked in those shoes. 181 00:14:17,147 --> 00:14:19,608 What'll really help the movie is if we have Josh and Cassidy 182 00:14:19,650 --> 00:14:22,528 come and have you all write a letter to yourself and fold it up. 183 00:14:22,570 --> 00:14:25,781 I mean, if we can get copies of photos of you or you and your families, 184 00:14:25,823 --> 00:14:29,076 we're going to put them all up on a fence and make it look like when you come 185 00:14:29,118 --> 00:14:34,248 into this ministry, they make you write a letter to yourself. 186 00:14:36,000 --> 00:14:40,337 It was captivating, it was interesting. 187 00:14:40,462 --> 00:14:45,551 I think it's gonna be, it may be in the theaters, I don't know 188 00:14:48,554 --> 00:14:53,601 So I talked to Brother John and I guess I'm gonna have to sign some kind of contract saying I won't relapse, 189 00:14:53,642 --> 00:14:55,895 and if I do relapse, 190 00:14:56,020 --> 00:14:57,688 then... 191 00:14:59,815 --> 00:15:02,943 Then I get kicked out of the ministry. 192 00:15:19,293 --> 00:15:21,211 I'm struggling because I think 193 00:15:21,253 --> 00:15:23,547 I might have a mental illness. 194 00:15:23,589 --> 00:15:26,926 That's why I'm gonna go on Prozac, to hopefully help me get through this. 195 00:15:27,760 --> 00:15:34,558 So today I had to take a piss test, one a little more elaborate than usual. 196 00:15:34,808 --> 00:15:37,227 Why you wigging out, man? 197 00:15:39,104 --> 00:15:40,648 Where's Cassidy? 198 00:15:42,524 --> 00:15:45,027 Good old Cass. 199 00:15:48,822 --> 00:15:49,865 I don't know. 200 00:15:49,865 --> 00:15:55,704 Sometimes it's hard to vocalize everything, and my head just feels like a mesh. 201 00:16:01,168 --> 00:16:03,253 -This is Cass everybody. -What's up. 202 00:16:03,295 --> 00:16:05,756 -Action! -We don't know what we're doing. 203 00:16:05,798 --> 00:16:08,842 Dammit, I'm the director this is what I want! 204 00:16:11,095 --> 00:16:11,804 Lesson learned, kids. 205 00:16:11,845 --> 00:16:14,556 -OK, dude, find the lighter. -I don't know where it went. 206 00:16:14,598 --> 00:16:18,560 Hey you still got some of that Dro? Can I get a 20 sack? 207 00:16:19,979 --> 00:16:21,188 We don't smoke weed. 208 00:17:34,970 --> 00:17:38,640 Feel so uncomfortable right now, 209 00:17:38,682 --> 00:17:42,478 agitated, depressed, stressed 210 00:17:42,519 --> 00:17:45,147 I've been crying some and... 211 00:17:47,649 --> 00:17:51,862 This has gotta stop, man. I gotta get on with my freakin life, dude. 212 00:17:52,112 --> 00:17:56,366 Pull it together Cassidy. Life is not that bad. 213 00:17:56,825 --> 00:18:00,662 Life's not about your circumstance, you can be happy no matter what circumstance, 214 00:18:00,704 --> 00:18:04,833 and the good Lord says that, God says that I can be happy no matter my circumstance. 215 00:18:04,875 --> 00:18:08,545 Please, enlighten me. 216 00:18:21,975 --> 00:18:23,727 Tim Burton 217 00:18:25,854 --> 00:18:27,773 See here's another... 218 00:18:27,815 --> 00:18:31,443 a story about socially awkward kid. 219 00:18:33,612 --> 00:18:34,655 I remember watching Edward Scissorhands 220 00:18:34,696 --> 00:18:39,910 over and over and over and over and over thinking, 'Hey I kind of feel like that dude.' 221 00:18:41,245 --> 00:18:45,249 What does snow mean? Cocaine. 222 00:18:45,415 --> 00:18:48,710 This actually premiered at the Atlanta Film Festival. 223 00:18:48,752 --> 00:18:51,880 Oh, Prozac nation. 224 00:18:51,922 --> 00:18:56,385 "Self-destructive behavior and paralyzing depression that reflects an entire 225 00:18:56,426 --> 00:19:00,764 generation's struggle to navigate the effects of divorce." 226 00:19:00,806 --> 00:19:05,769 I've dealt with that. "Drugs, sex and high expectations." 227 00:19:05,811 --> 00:19:07,271 Wow. 228 00:19:07,396 --> 00:19:12,317 I need to, I need to watch this pretty relevant to my life. 229 00:19:12,526 --> 00:19:16,613 After the divorce, I pretty much lived at a daycare 230 00:19:16,655 --> 00:19:20,951 with my brother and sister, and the only time that we got together 231 00:19:20,993 --> 00:19:24,830 with our family was on Friday nights we'd have tacos because they were cheap. 232 00:19:24,872 --> 00:19:28,000 And then a couple of movies from Blockbuster. 233 00:19:40,971 --> 00:19:43,932 This is a huge pain to do without help. 234 00:19:43,974 --> 00:19:47,561 This is definitely a two-man job. 235 00:19:57,112 --> 00:20:00,908 A Better Way Movers has taught me to be strong in the Lord. 236 00:20:00,949 --> 00:20:03,911 And to always be willing to help others. 237 00:20:03,952 --> 00:20:04,536 Cassidy really came up with all 238 00:20:04,578 --> 00:20:09,208 the concepts, and I shot it and did the lighting. 239 00:20:10,792 --> 00:20:14,546 Having another guy that is into the same stuff, you know, 240 00:20:14,588 --> 00:20:17,716 filmmaking and also a recovering drug addict, 241 00:20:17,758 --> 00:20:20,636 when you've got another person sitting four feet away from you that is 242 00:20:20,677 --> 00:20:24,723 in the same boat, and if I was struggling, he'd be the only the first and sometimes 243 00:20:24,765 --> 00:20:28,477 the only person that knew that I was struggling. 244 00:20:36,610 --> 00:20:42,908 So it's almost been a week, still kinda living out of the car a little bit 245 00:20:42,950 --> 00:20:49,248 and sleeping on the couch at my mom's and stepdad's place. 246 00:20:55,462 --> 00:21:02,386 Cass told me that he had relapsed, so he was evicted from the program 247 00:21:02,427 --> 00:21:09,893 and I feel it's a tragedy because when he uses I watch him circle the drain. 248 00:21:09,977 --> 00:21:13,230 You know he's going down even though he can't see it. 249 00:21:13,272 --> 00:21:16,817 So I like him much better when he's clean and sober. 250 00:21:18,527 --> 00:21:21,154 Shoot, it's great that Cass is here. 251 00:21:21,321 --> 00:21:23,865 You know it's cramped, it's small, but, 252 00:21:23,907 --> 00:21:27,202 you know, it's family, so whatever it takes. 253 00:21:27,244 --> 00:21:28,829 I'm Cassidy's little sister. 254 00:21:28,870 --> 00:21:30,831 My name's Raven. 255 00:21:32,958 --> 00:21:34,001 Yay. 256 00:21:34,251 --> 00:21:36,920 I haven't really known Cass all that well 257 00:21:36,962 --> 00:21:42,009 because he's been in and out of A Better Way for a very, very long time. 258 00:21:42,134 --> 00:21:43,010 I mean, 259 00:21:43,051 --> 00:21:46,555 I don't know, like when I stop to think about it, I'm like, oh my God, 260 00:21:46,596 --> 00:21:49,725 he's been in there for, like, half his life, it seems, you know. 261 00:21:50,642 --> 00:21:51,560 When you're a drug addict, 262 00:21:51,601 --> 00:21:57,607 you don't really think about other people, so it's up to them to change. 263 00:22:09,119 --> 00:22:09,703 Hello? 264 00:22:09,745 --> 00:22:12,331 Hey, Cassidy, it's Nathan, how are you doing? 265 00:22:12,456 --> 00:22:14,791 Hey what's up Nathan. Good, I'm doing good. 266 00:22:14,833 --> 00:22:19,004 You know how I told you we're going to have a meeting for the "On the Fence" short? 267 00:22:19,254 --> 00:22:21,465 -Yeah. -We feel like you should be a part of that 268 00:22:21,506 --> 00:22:23,550 because you helped write the script. 269 00:22:23,842 --> 00:22:26,053 I agree, I think so and 270 00:22:26,094 --> 00:22:28,805 I'm supposed to be the director. 271 00:22:29,014 --> 00:22:31,516 Right but a lot of things have changed. 272 00:22:31,558 --> 00:22:35,479 You and A Better Way aren't on like, workable terms and so... 273 00:22:35,520 --> 00:22:37,647 And if you can't be apart of the meetings, 274 00:22:37,689 --> 00:22:39,691 then how are you going to direct the film? 275 00:22:39,733 --> 00:22:43,570 Yeah, no, it's super important that I'm at those meetings, 276 00:22:43,695 --> 00:22:49,493 no doubt umm, and... I'm willing to talk to Brother John to try to work it out. 277 00:22:49,534 --> 00:22:51,370 Alright, call me as soon as possible. 278 00:22:51,411 --> 00:22:53,080 -Alright man, love you. -Love you, Cassidy. 279 00:22:53,121 --> 00:22:53,872 -Love you guys. -Bye. 280 00:22:54,206 --> 00:23:03,423 And I think that's why no one makes movies in rehab, because it's impossible. 281 00:23:03,882 --> 00:23:08,595 I understand that Brother John has some hang ups because I relapsed and he doesn't 282 00:23:08,637 --> 00:23:11,473 wanna put his guys in the ministry in that position. 283 00:23:11,515 --> 00:23:16,186 I'm worried that I'm gonna be the reason that "On the Fence" falls apart. 284 00:23:16,228 --> 00:23:18,397 Cassidy was -- I used to sit right here, 285 00:23:18,438 --> 00:23:23,235 he used to sit right here and we, we talked about ideas like this and we 286 00:23:23,276 --> 00:23:27,823 dreamed about ideas like this and it wouldn't exist without him. 287 00:23:27,864 --> 00:23:32,077 So I just I don't want to lose him in the... in the shuffle. 288 00:23:36,706 --> 00:23:38,667 -Now it is -OK. 289 00:23:41,044 --> 00:23:43,213 -Hi. -Hi. 290 00:23:43,255 --> 00:23:43,755 Nice to see you. 291 00:23:44,214 --> 00:23:50,971 The goal for today is to clean. I'll have mom point and and I will clean. 292 00:23:51,304 --> 00:23:53,557 You gotta make sure I'm in the frame. 293 00:23:53,598 --> 00:23:55,767 -You are. -OK 294 00:24:00,939 --> 00:24:03,024 That's my mom. Say hi. 295 00:24:03,066 --> 00:24:04,276 Hi. 296 00:24:04,317 --> 00:24:06,278 -How are you doing this morning? -I'm good. 297 00:24:06,319 --> 00:24:09,114 -I'm not working today. -Yay. 298 00:24:09,156 --> 00:24:11,199 So we should behave instead like God's 299 00:24:11,241 --> 00:24:14,786 Very own children adopted into his family, calling him father, 300 00:24:14,828 --> 00:24:17,372 dear Father. For his Holy Spirit speaks 301 00:24:17,414 --> 00:24:21,251 to us deep in our hearts and tells us that we are God's children. 302 00:24:21,376 --> 00:24:25,255 And since we are his children, we will share his treasures. 303 00:24:26,339 --> 00:24:29,134 I relapsed but I did not die. 304 00:24:30,302 --> 00:24:32,053 I believe things are gonna fail. 305 00:24:32,095 --> 00:24:35,515 I don't believe that I will succeed. 306 00:24:38,101 --> 00:24:42,022 So I gotta change that mindset and I'm gonna start believing that I'm gonna succeed. 307 00:24:42,063 --> 00:24:44,816 Start believing who I am in Christ again. 308 00:24:55,535 --> 00:24:57,078 Thanks bro. 309 00:25:00,123 --> 00:25:03,710 I sent three applications out today on the Internet. 310 00:25:03,752 --> 00:25:09,049 One is a driver delivering food and Starbucks and Taco Bell. 311 00:25:09,090 --> 00:25:13,595 I just need some kind of income to come in right now if I'm gonna be able to work on "On the Fence." 312 00:25:13,887 --> 00:25:14,804 In order not to pay for trash, 313 00:25:14,846 --> 00:25:22,103 we take our trash and dump it in some dumpsters at an apartment complex. 314 00:25:27,692 --> 00:25:30,987 I'm a good person who has an addiction problem. 315 00:25:31,029 --> 00:25:34,741 We can do this, I can do this. 316 00:25:44,709 --> 00:25:47,462 That's ridiculous, he looks just like his dad 317 00:25:49,881 --> 00:25:52,842 That looks just like Cassidy, dude. Dresses the same and everything. 318 00:25:52,884 --> 00:25:57,556 Just dorky Cassidy's a dork, I love him. 319 00:25:57,973 --> 00:26:01,643 I used to forge prescriptions and I'd call this Rite Aid. 320 00:26:01,685 --> 00:26:06,189 I'd call myself in some Hydrocodone or some Xanax. 321 00:26:06,439 --> 00:26:09,693 The pharmacists would get on and I'd say, "Hello, this is Dr. Kennerly 322 00:26:09,734 --> 00:26:10,694 I have a phone in for a patient." 323 00:26:10,735 --> 00:26:13,321 And they'd say, "Alright, one second," and you can hear them getting ready. 324 00:26:13,363 --> 00:26:14,656 Like, "OK, go ahead." And say, "Ok I've got here, 325 00:26:14,698 --> 00:26:22,914 Hydrocodone acetaminophen, 10 over 325, sig 1 tab, POQ6 PRN pain, number 40, four-zero, with zero refills, 326 00:26:22,956 --> 00:26:26,167 generics are approved." -"OK, great, thanks." 327 00:26:26,209 --> 00:26:27,085 "Thanks, have a great day." 328 00:26:27,127 --> 00:26:28,753 -"Bye." -"Bye." 329 00:26:29,170 --> 00:26:32,257 So I got away with that for like eight months. 330 00:26:32,299 --> 00:26:36,469 And then one day, as soon as I pull out of the parking lot, I got boxed in. 331 00:26:44,311 --> 00:26:47,105 I got arrested and charged with six different felonies. 332 00:26:47,147 --> 00:26:51,568 Somewhere in the neighborhood of 350 fraudulent prescriptions. 333 00:27:02,162 --> 00:27:06,124 So I was taken to Fulton County Jail and I spent some time there. 334 00:27:06,166 --> 00:27:12,756 I was given an offer to plea out to a lesser charge and go to rehab. 335 00:27:12,797 --> 00:27:16,968 I'm five months from graduating, but if I leave here prematurely, 336 00:27:17,010 --> 00:27:21,348 or if I'm kicked out, I could go to prison for 10 years. 337 00:27:38,031 --> 00:27:39,908 -Yooo! -Yoo! 338 00:27:39,949 --> 00:27:43,662 -You got your own chair. -This table is epic. 339 00:27:45,246 --> 00:27:47,290 I actually picked up a white chip yesterday. 340 00:27:47,415 --> 00:27:50,168 This is the first chip you get when you when you get clean. 341 00:27:50,210 --> 00:27:52,712 So basically, to me, this is like accountability. 342 00:27:52,754 --> 00:27:56,383 That means that I have to stay clean now. 343 00:27:56,966 --> 00:27:57,884 I'm Josh 344 00:27:58,051 --> 00:28:03,390 worked in the industry for a while. First movie I did, I was an intern on Fireproof. 345 00:28:03,431 --> 00:28:06,643 -And then I worked as a company grip on Courageous. -Cool. 346 00:28:06,685 --> 00:28:08,937 And then from there did a lot of independents. 347 00:28:08,978 --> 00:28:14,150 Was doing that, was married, and then the drugs just really kicked my butt. 348 00:28:14,901 --> 00:28:19,364 So Cassidy's not allowed to be on the property or here in the office because 349 00:28:19,406 --> 00:28:23,702 of his relapse, so we've asked for grace, for special permission from Brother John 350 00:28:23,743 --> 00:28:26,121 to allow Cassidy to work on the short film still. 351 00:28:26,162 --> 00:28:30,166 And he's gonna a decision by hopefully July 4th. 352 00:28:33,128 --> 00:28:35,797 -Hello? -Yo, you're on speakerphone in a room of people, 353 00:28:35,839 --> 00:28:39,634 are OK with that? -Hey, what's up everybody, hello! 354 00:28:39,676 --> 00:28:40,593 Cassidy! 355 00:28:40,635 --> 00:28:42,512 Give us the spiel, who are you? 356 00:28:42,554 --> 00:28:45,640 I'm Cassidy Detmer, and I'm a recovering addict 357 00:28:45,682 --> 00:28:49,728 No I'm just joking, I feel like I'm in another meeting, an NA meeting. 358 00:28:49,769 --> 00:28:52,147 -Hi Cassidy -Hey Cassidy 359 00:28:52,188 --> 00:28:55,275 I haven't worked on any big budget productions or anything like that. 360 00:28:55,316 --> 00:28:58,361 But I did go to the Art Institute for three years. 361 00:28:58,403 --> 00:29:01,865 But before that, all through my using years, 362 00:29:01,906 --> 00:29:05,368 I would film stuff, just all kinds of random stuff all my life. 363 00:29:05,410 --> 00:29:08,830 So I'm always thinking about it, obsessing about it. 364 00:29:08,872 --> 00:29:10,874 I love film. 365 00:29:11,082 --> 00:29:14,294 Yeah, I mean, that's me in a nutshell. 366 00:29:14,419 --> 00:29:17,589 "Do you see clearly now this isn't Peter, this isn't your son. 367 00:29:17,630 --> 00:29:18,298 It's the drugs speaking. 368 00:29:18,339 --> 00:29:20,925 It'll always be the drugs. You have to cut him off." 369 00:29:20,967 --> 00:29:23,553 She pulls out a small index card. I say take that out. 370 00:29:23,595 --> 00:29:26,639 And if the mom would just go up to her son 371 00:29:26,681 --> 00:29:31,936 and just lay a hand on his cheek and look at him in the eye and say... 372 00:29:40,695 --> 00:29:42,906 They're about to play a video. 373 00:29:42,947 --> 00:29:45,575 Unfortunately, I can't see it. 374 00:29:52,916 --> 00:29:55,919 I got low battery. Shit. 375 00:29:55,960 --> 00:29:57,837 I think they forgot I was here. 376 00:29:58,671 --> 00:30:00,173 I'm gonna take my medicine. 377 00:30:00,298 --> 00:30:02,842 I can't understand what they're talking about anyways. 378 00:30:11,601 --> 00:30:12,977 I'm hungry. 379 00:30:13,311 --> 00:30:16,648 they're yakking away about I don't know what. 380 00:31:01,025 --> 00:31:03,611 The situation Cassidy's in right now, 381 00:31:03,653 --> 00:31:05,697 I'm very worried about where he's at. 382 00:31:05,822 --> 00:31:09,826 He's a really fragile guy and, you have a bad enough day, 383 00:31:09,868 --> 00:31:12,537 like right now, my head hurts so bad and I'm so stressed that 384 00:31:12,579 --> 00:31:16,040 if I had something in front of me, I'd do it. 385 00:31:16,165 --> 00:31:18,877 If I wasn't mandated, I would have left a long time ago, 386 00:31:18,918 --> 00:31:25,466 just because I know myself. I'm here because I have to be and I'm here because I need to be. 387 00:31:26,426 --> 00:31:30,138 Probably not the best way to spend your food stamps card, especially when 388 00:31:30,179 --> 00:31:32,432 you don't have a job or money. 389 00:31:32,473 --> 00:31:35,518 But I love energy drinks. 390 00:31:35,560 --> 00:31:42,567 And I did though, I did just get a phone call from Marco's pizza about a delivery job. 391 00:31:42,609 --> 00:31:44,402 So I'm super stoked about that. 392 00:31:44,444 --> 00:31:50,033 And I could possibly be delivering pizzas by Monday. 393 00:31:51,284 --> 00:31:54,412 Oh, man, that's good 394 00:31:54,537 --> 00:32:00,335 energy in a can, no crash later. Sike, there is a crash. 395 00:32:00,960 --> 00:32:04,964 And I believe I'm just now coming to accept the fact that I might be 396 00:32:05,006 --> 00:32:09,135 a little manic. And having a chemical imbalance contributes 397 00:32:09,260 --> 00:32:14,390 to me using drugs because I don't like the way I feel. 398 00:32:14,432 --> 00:32:17,852 I have thought of suicide before. 399 00:32:17,936 --> 00:32:20,146 It's like I just can't handle feeling this way anymore. 400 00:32:20,188 --> 00:32:23,024 So, you know, either I'm going to kill myself or I'm gonna get high. 401 00:32:23,066 --> 00:32:27,445 You know, sometimes it gets to that point where it's like there's just nothing else. 402 00:32:30,490 --> 00:32:32,575 Alright Cassidy. 403 00:32:32,784 --> 00:32:33,534 You can do this. 404 00:32:33,701 --> 00:32:38,331 Thank you, God, for a roof over my head, thank you for a car to drive. 405 00:32:38,456 --> 00:32:41,793 Thank you for my dad putting gas in my car. 406 00:32:43,711 --> 00:32:46,172 You got a lot of good things going on. 407 00:32:46,297 --> 00:32:50,385 Thank you for the jobs I'm... I'm going to get. 408 00:32:50,510 --> 00:32:52,720 You're gonna be alright. 409 00:33:03,815 --> 00:33:09,153 He told me that my driving under the influence thing would be a problem. 410 00:33:09,195 --> 00:33:14,784 Yeah, that's what I told him, I said it's been six years I mean it's like, that's a long time ago. 411 00:33:36,222 --> 00:33:37,974 I mean, how the hell am I gonna find a job? 412 00:33:38,016 --> 00:33:40,226 You know, how do felons find jobs? 413 00:33:40,351 --> 00:33:45,106 And how am I gonna be able to work on the short film if I can't even put gas in my car? 414 00:33:46,983 --> 00:33:50,987 If I get high, then all my worries will go away today, 415 00:33:51,029 --> 00:33:54,949 but then they'll just creep back up tomorrow when I'm not high. 416 00:33:54,991 --> 00:33:59,746 So I decided not to get high and decided to do this instead. 417 00:34:11,758 --> 00:34:15,636 I love me lens flares. Just like J.J. Abrams. 418 00:34:24,562 --> 00:34:26,773 Gosh, it sounds beautiful out here right now. 419 00:34:26,814 --> 00:34:28,691 It sounds like a symphony. 420 00:34:28,816 --> 00:34:30,610 Just listen. 421 00:34:36,449 --> 00:34:39,744 I'm afraid of failing at something that I love. 422 00:34:39,786 --> 00:34:48,086 To me making films was like this... Perfect thing. This most beautiful thing that was perfection. 423 00:34:48,669 --> 00:34:52,715 And if I touched it, it was going to fall apart. 424 00:34:52,757 --> 00:34:54,967 So I dared not touch it. 425 00:34:55,009 --> 00:34:58,471 But I've learned that it's... It's not perfect. 426 00:34:58,513 --> 00:35:01,516 You know, it's just like me. 427 00:35:01,682 --> 00:35:06,437 Its got its imperfections, but in the imperfections there's beauty. There's beauty in... 428 00:35:06,479 --> 00:35:08,189 Frailty, 429 00:35:08,356 --> 00:35:11,192 in just opening yourself up 430 00:35:11,234 --> 00:35:14,028 and not hiding. 431 00:35:18,074 --> 00:35:21,369 So I wanna get this all cut down pretty low all the way over to there. 432 00:35:21,410 --> 00:35:23,287 -OK. -Good luck to you. 433 00:35:23,329 --> 00:35:25,164 -Thank you. -Yeah. 434 00:35:28,960 --> 00:35:31,754 So he called me up and asked if there's any yard work, anything I could have him 435 00:35:31,796 --> 00:35:34,757 do to try to make a little bit of money or gas money. 436 00:35:34,882 --> 00:35:37,301 So I told him I could, he can come over and mow grass. 437 00:35:37,343 --> 00:35:41,055 Who wants to mow grass when it's 95 degrees, not me. 438 00:35:46,269 --> 00:35:48,521 You allergic to work? 439 00:35:48,563 --> 00:35:49,689 Yeah, I think so. 440 00:35:49,730 --> 00:35:51,816 I might die out here. 441 00:35:53,025 --> 00:35:54,944 Um no we just call him Cass. 442 00:35:54,986 --> 00:35:57,905 That sounds weird calling him uncle Cass. 443 00:35:57,947 --> 00:36:04,036 It would be fun if we saw Cassidy's movies on a big screen. 444 00:36:06,789 --> 00:36:12,587 20 to 25 was probably the really brutal years. 445 00:36:13,796 --> 00:36:17,049 My lowest time while using drugs was 446 00:36:17,091 --> 00:36:22,513 when I broke into my dad's bathroom and I was trying to steal his money and he 447 00:36:22,555 --> 00:36:26,350 woke up in the middle of the night and broke my hand. 448 00:36:26,809 --> 00:36:29,145 Every phone call I got from him was nothing 449 00:36:29,187 --> 00:36:32,440 but trouble and asking for things and things would disappear. 450 00:36:32,481 --> 00:36:34,275 It's actually a part of his life I try 451 00:36:34,317 --> 00:36:37,570 to forget about because that's not the true him. 452 00:36:37,612 --> 00:36:42,742 It was...you know the drugs and it was, it took him over. 453 00:36:51,334 --> 00:36:53,920 -Grandpa said good work. -Thank you. 454 00:36:53,961 --> 00:36:56,422 Thank you. I love ya. 455 00:37:14,941 --> 00:37:18,236 Going to the movie theater is like being in heaven. 456 00:37:18,486 --> 00:37:22,198 It's so comfortable for me. It's just, I get lost in it. 457 00:37:29,538 --> 00:37:32,792 I don't usually keep the number of days 458 00:37:32,833 --> 00:37:36,754 in my head, because if I do, it takes forever. 459 00:37:37,171 --> 00:37:41,342 Desperately ready to just move on with my life. 460 00:37:41,384 --> 00:37:43,469 Have a life again, have a normal life again. 461 00:37:43,511 --> 00:37:46,264 Have a car, have a job, have a place. 462 00:37:49,725 --> 00:37:52,687 Yeah, jail sucks. 463 00:37:52,728 --> 00:37:57,984 The biggest selling point this place has is that it's not a decade in prison. 464 00:38:01,195 --> 00:38:03,155 I loved my wife more than 465 00:38:03,197 --> 00:38:08,202 than anything or anyone, and I lost her because I kept using. 466 00:38:08,244 --> 00:38:09,287 I kept falling flat on my face. 467 00:38:09,287 --> 00:38:15,209 I kept repeating the vicious cycle, and she warned me and warned me and warned me 468 00:38:15,251 --> 00:38:19,005 that it was gonna end up with us getting divorced. 469 00:38:19,046 --> 00:38:22,133 I mean, there are bridges burned. 470 00:38:31,726 --> 00:38:32,685 ...ones that I love and from people I don't 471 00:38:32,685 --> 00:38:38,065 even know and I've hurt so many different people. -Right now I am finishing 472 00:38:38,107 --> 00:38:40,985 the graduation video just in time for the service. 473 00:38:41,027 --> 00:38:46,073 I had to cut my friend Brian out because he left. Caught with some drugs. 474 00:38:46,115 --> 00:38:48,117 So he's gone. 475 00:38:48,409 --> 00:38:52,163 Somebody that's that close to finishing 476 00:38:52,204 --> 00:38:52,872 the program and gets caught up 477 00:38:52,913 --> 00:38:55,666 in that kind of stuff is just, they're just not ready. 478 00:38:55,708 --> 00:38:56,250 It's nothing against them. 479 00:38:56,292 --> 00:38:59,128 You know, I've done it in other programs. 480 00:38:59,170 --> 00:39:01,005 I've been there. 481 00:39:01,047 --> 00:39:04,425 For the guy that gets it the first time around, great, good on you. 482 00:39:04,467 --> 00:39:06,385 That's my grandpa. He nailed it the first time. 483 00:39:06,427 --> 00:39:10,389 But it's taken me 13, 14 times. 484 00:39:12,308 --> 00:39:14,226 A Better Way ministry has done a lot, 485 00:39:14,268 --> 00:39:18,481 it's like a rebirth, you know, it's a better way, it's a perfect name. 486 00:39:18,522 --> 00:39:23,194 The day after I overdosed my dad, he was like 'you need to go somewhere.' 487 00:39:23,235 --> 00:39:25,196 So now this is just the beginning. 488 00:39:25,237 --> 00:39:27,448 And don't look behind you, look forward. 489 00:39:33,788 --> 00:39:36,999 That, men, that's what we are here for. 490 00:39:37,041 --> 00:39:42,797 That's why you're here and I'm looking to see every face at the finish line. 491 00:39:42,838 --> 00:39:46,592 Hallelujah, Father, we just thank you, Lord, tonight for what's been done. 492 00:39:46,634 --> 00:39:50,346 We thank you for the anointing that breaks every shackle and every addiction. 493 00:39:50,388 --> 00:39:51,305 Bless them tonight. 494 00:39:51,347 --> 00:39:55,935 Establish their steps, may they be the hands and the feet of Jesus Christ. 495 00:39:55,976 --> 00:39:57,937 -Amen. -Amen. 496 00:39:58,062 --> 00:40:03,109 So ladies and gentlemen I'd like to introduce to you, the graduates. 497 00:40:11,033 --> 00:40:13,994 The lights stayed on, it didn't look good on these monitors. 498 00:40:14,036 --> 00:40:15,746 The audio was terrible. 499 00:40:15,788 --> 00:40:17,331 I have a million things I hate about it. 500 00:40:17,373 --> 00:40:20,126 And I'm just, I'm not, it's not something I'm proud of. 501 00:40:20,167 --> 00:40:22,878 I'm just kinda disgusted by it honestly. 502 00:40:24,338 --> 00:40:26,966 If they don't let me and Cassidy make "On the Fence," 503 00:40:27,007 --> 00:40:31,095 I'm not gonna make it another five months here. 504 00:40:42,022 --> 00:40:45,359 We're getting our props together for the fence scene. 505 00:40:52,950 --> 00:40:53,951 I'm a drug addict and I lost custody 506 00:40:53,993 --> 00:40:59,165 of my daughter, and that's the main reason why I'm trying to get my life back 507 00:40:59,206 --> 00:41:03,794 together is so I can be a part of her life again. 508 00:41:04,044 --> 00:41:07,214 This is when I was in my band. 509 00:41:07,465 --> 00:41:11,719 That's me, heavy metal, that's my drummer and that was my guitar player. 510 00:41:11,760 --> 00:41:15,556 That's Jesus hanging on the cross of course. 511 00:41:15,681 --> 00:41:18,017 This is something I wrote. 512 00:41:20,936 --> 00:41:22,771 Let me start that over. 513 00:41:27,568 --> 00:41:29,695 This is the family vehicle that I flipped 514 00:41:29,820 --> 00:41:33,157 that ended up with me coming to A Better Way. 515 00:41:33,199 --> 00:41:38,329 I was high running from the cops, going about 115 miles an hour, when the truck flipped over. 516 00:41:38,370 --> 00:41:45,419 Holding on to all the pain that's left behind you. 517 00:41:45,461 --> 00:41:46,921 Stay above these lies. 518 00:41:46,962 --> 00:41:48,923 Stay true, walk in the courthouse. 519 00:41:48,964 --> 00:41:50,925 "Honey, I love you. Don't do this. 520 00:41:50,966 --> 00:41:54,512 We can make it, our marriage ain't broken until you break it. 521 00:41:54,553 --> 00:41:55,888 I shouldn't be here. 522 00:41:55,930 --> 00:41:57,264 That's a testimony. 523 00:41:57,306 --> 00:41:59,683 Rip up the papers, come home, honey." 524 00:42:00,851 --> 00:42:04,855 Will you ever live again? 525 00:42:05,856 --> 00:42:12,571 I'm going to make the best of doing what I'm doing, to make them proud again. 526 00:42:21,622 --> 00:42:23,374 This is my mom and my sister. 527 00:42:23,415 --> 00:42:28,087 I'm going to have a copy made of it and have it on the fence. 528 00:42:34,677 --> 00:42:38,305 You know, it's my mom, I... 529 00:42:38,347 --> 00:42:40,933 She was the kindest person I've ever met. 530 00:42:40,975 --> 00:42:46,772 And so, yeah, it was really... There's a lot of good memories with Mom 531 00:42:46,855 --> 00:42:48,774 I miss her a lot. It's the... 532 00:42:48,857 --> 00:42:52,987 One of the main reasons I got so bad into drugs, is when she died. 533 00:42:53,028 --> 00:42:56,574 So it's.. It's my deepest... 534 00:42:56,615 --> 00:42:59,076 It's my deepest wound, losing her. 535 00:42:59,368 --> 00:43:01,829 She died very suddenly, you know she died in the car wreck. 536 00:43:01,870 --> 00:43:06,750 So it was... I got a phone call one day and she was gone. 537 00:43:10,588 --> 00:43:13,716 I went on a mission trip with my church 538 00:43:13,757 --> 00:43:20,472 to Honduras to give food and clothing to a village, and 539 00:43:21,307 --> 00:43:24,310 we had a bad accident. 540 00:43:25,561 --> 00:43:26,437 So the first day there, 541 00:43:26,437 --> 00:43:33,193 I felt the overwhelming presence of God come over me and just happiness. 542 00:43:33,277 --> 00:43:35,487 So it was like one of the best days 543 00:43:35,529 --> 00:43:39,116 of my life, followed by one of the worst days of my life. 544 00:43:42,953 --> 00:43:47,333 We were driving through the rain forest and we were going down this big hill, 545 00:43:47,458 --> 00:43:54,548 gears start grinding and I guess the brakes went out and the driver had a choice. 546 00:43:54,590 --> 00:43:59,136 It was like a two hundred foot drop off a cliff and we would all possibly die 547 00:43:59,261 --> 00:44:03,682 or he could bank it into the trees to try to slow us down. 548 00:44:12,691 --> 00:44:18,197 And when he flipped it, I landed about here and bent straight back. 549 00:44:18,238 --> 00:44:20,532 The two people I was sitting in between. 550 00:44:20,658 --> 00:44:22,951 Well, they snapped in half and they both died. 551 00:44:22,993 --> 00:44:28,248 And then they cushioned my fall and basically saved me from dying. 552 00:44:28,290 --> 00:44:31,210 I had collarbones broken and I was a mess, 553 00:44:31,251 --> 00:44:34,797 but when your adrenaline's kicking, and I was looking for my brother. 554 00:44:34,838 --> 00:44:39,927 He was covered in blood and I thought he was dead. 555 00:44:40,594 --> 00:44:44,807 It took them like eight hours to find us because we were in the middle of nowhere. 556 00:44:44,848 --> 00:44:50,396 The villagers actually made smoke signals to flag down the helicopters. 557 00:44:50,604 --> 00:44:52,648 And Cass had... 558 00:44:52,690 --> 00:44:55,609 He had a broken leg, a broken arm, a broken clavicle, 559 00:44:55,651 --> 00:44:59,488 and then they started having problems with drugs and pain pills and everything, 560 00:44:59,530 --> 00:45:03,992 and it got to a point to where Cass was actually out of control. 561 00:45:09,373 --> 00:45:12,626 So I went back into drugs and alcohol after that. 562 00:45:12,668 --> 00:45:16,130 Of course, they gave me painkillers for being injured and what not. 563 00:45:16,338 --> 00:45:20,134 That made a already bad problem much worse. 564 00:45:20,259 --> 00:45:25,097 Basically, it was like pouring gasoline onto a campfire, 565 00:45:25,222 --> 00:45:29,309 which started a forest fire of drug addiction. 566 00:45:33,772 --> 00:45:37,985 Why would God let a lady next to me get cut in half? 567 00:45:38,235 --> 00:45:42,030 We're there doing God's work. 568 00:45:43,907 --> 00:45:46,994 I mean, I don't know what the hell all that means. 569 00:45:59,465 --> 00:46:08,432 ...twilight's last gleaming, whose broad stripes and bright stars, 570 00:46:08,474 --> 00:46:13,061 through the perilous fight. 571 00:46:14,730 --> 00:46:15,773 I've been nervous all day, 572 00:46:15,814 --> 00:46:20,486 waiting for Jared to call me and let me know how his meeting went with Brother John, 573 00:46:20,527 --> 00:46:23,530 whether or not I'm going to be a part of the project. 574 00:46:56,522 --> 00:46:58,065 Alright. 575 00:46:59,066 --> 00:47:01,401 Hello, Mr. Jared. 576 00:47:02,361 --> 00:47:06,114 I'm doing good, I'm good. 577 00:47:10,619 --> 00:47:16,667 Sweet, cool, so he's, so he's cool, I can work with, I can work with Josh. 578 00:47:18,669 --> 00:47:20,128 Oh, praise God. 579 00:47:20,170 --> 00:47:22,381 That's great news. 580 00:47:45,070 --> 00:47:47,197 I'm down as the director of photography. 581 00:47:47,239 --> 00:47:50,117 They're in charge of the entire look of the project. 582 00:47:50,158 --> 00:47:52,494 Working Director. 583 00:47:52,661 --> 00:47:55,539 I would check these books but I have to ream them here 584 00:47:55,581 --> 00:48:00,752 because I owe the library three dollars. I'm not coming off of it. 585 00:48:01,587 --> 00:48:07,551 My biggest concern is that we get good talent and that nobody has a meltdown 586 00:48:07,593 --> 00:48:12,347 and collapses and ends up torpedoing this whole project. 587 00:48:15,934 --> 00:48:19,646 To be love for us today means that we need to be patient and kind. 588 00:48:19,688 --> 00:48:22,566 We are going to fight for justice. We're not going to give up. 589 00:48:22,608 --> 00:48:25,193 We're always going to be hopeful through every circumstance. 590 00:48:25,235 --> 00:48:29,114 Alright, so in the name of Jesus, God guide us to the right people. 591 00:48:29,156 --> 00:48:30,991 A prayer and a meeting. 592 00:48:36,830 --> 00:48:42,127 -I am auditioning for the mother role. -Seth Dowd, I'm auditioning for Pete. 593 00:48:42,169 --> 00:48:43,337 I'm feeling a little nervous, 594 00:48:43,378 --> 00:48:48,133 this is my first time doing anything so this is pretty nerve-wracking but I'm really excited. 595 00:48:48,258 --> 00:48:51,011 So I'm gonna go in there and knock them dead. 596 00:48:51,053 --> 00:48:52,846 I'm just hoping for the best. 597 00:48:52,888 --> 00:48:55,807 I'm more hungry, than nervous. 598 00:48:56,183 --> 00:49:02,147 I'm auditioning for Judy today because I want to make a difference to people 599 00:49:02,189 --> 00:49:08,445 who have addictions because it strikes closely to home. 600 00:49:11,031 --> 00:49:12,950 -How are you doing? -Fine how are you guys? 601 00:49:12,991 --> 00:49:14,826 Doing great. 602 00:49:14,868 --> 00:49:17,621 -So my name's Cassidy, I'm co-directing. -Nice to meet you. 603 00:49:17,663 --> 00:49:19,373 -What's your name? -Alexa Rochelle. 604 00:49:19,414 --> 00:49:21,667 Alexa. Lovely to meet you, Alexa. 605 00:49:21,708 --> 00:49:27,255 And my co-director Jared's over here, and Josh will be reading with you. 606 00:49:27,381 --> 00:49:29,591 -And you're reading for Judy? -Yes 607 00:49:30,592 --> 00:49:32,386 My brother graduated from there. 608 00:49:32,427 --> 00:49:34,721 Best thing that ever happened to our family. 609 00:49:34,763 --> 00:49:38,475 What are you running from? Same thing as everybody else? 610 00:49:38,517 --> 00:49:41,103 -What are you running from? -What are you running away from? 611 00:49:41,144 --> 00:49:42,604 What are you running from? 612 00:49:42,646 --> 00:49:45,190 Same thing as everyone else? 613 00:49:45,399 --> 00:49:47,484 -Alright. -So we'll get back with you 614 00:49:47,526 --> 00:49:49,987 early next week and let you know, but you did a good job. 615 00:49:50,028 --> 00:49:50,487 -Thank you. -Awesome. 616 00:49:50,529 --> 00:49:53,490 Thank you so much. Excellent job. 617 00:49:55,575 --> 00:49:57,244 We normally don't allow students 618 00:49:57,285 --> 00:50:01,748 that don't graduate to be involved in this type of stuff, but 619 00:50:01,790 --> 00:50:03,834 I love Cassidy and I love his heart. 620 00:50:04,042 --> 00:50:05,043 When he relapsed, you know, 621 00:50:05,085 --> 00:50:09,506 I got the call and it was like, oh my gosh, Cassidy. Really just broke my heart. 622 00:50:09,548 --> 00:50:13,552 But this maybe will be something that's 623 00:50:13,593 --> 00:50:17,848 more important to him than the drugs and pills. 624 00:50:17,889 --> 00:50:18,765 So far it's going really good, 625 00:50:18,765 --> 00:50:22,978 the last guy really killed it, Seth, he did a great job playing Pete. 626 00:50:23,061 --> 00:50:28,108 I'm actually surprised we're getting some pretty good, pretty good performances. 627 00:50:28,150 --> 00:50:30,861 Take it back at "You don't speak." Let me yell at you. 628 00:50:31,194 --> 00:50:35,240 "You don't speak for her. If my mother has something to say to me, she can say it herself-- 629 00:50:35,282 --> 00:50:37,617 --you don't get to call the shots anymore. 630 00:50:37,743 --> 00:50:39,494 She's put up with enough of your shit. 631 00:50:39,536 --> 00:50:40,328 We've seen it for years. 632 00:50:40,370 --> 00:50:44,458 -Your last binge almost killed her. -Who are you to judge me? 633 00:50:44,583 --> 00:50:46,251 I can get clean at home. Just give me a ride-- 634 00:50:46,293 --> 00:50:49,629 You're not getting it, ok you're out of control. 635 00:50:49,671 --> 00:50:51,590 You do not have a home with us anymore. 636 00:50:51,631 --> 00:50:53,050 You don't have a room at your mother's house. 637 00:50:53,091 --> 00:50:54,676 You don't have a place to come for Christmas. 638 00:50:54,718 --> 00:50:56,261 We will not celebrate you, give you 639 00:50:56,303 --> 00:50:59,014 presents, buy you groceries, bail you out, loan you money, 640 00:50:59,097 --> 00:51:02,851 pretend we don't notice you using, stealing, nothing. 641 00:51:02,893 --> 00:51:04,186 You've got nowhere else to go. 642 00:51:04,227 --> 00:51:06,146 It's this or serve some real jail time. 643 00:51:06,188 --> 00:51:10,025 Either way, it won't be with us. 644 00:51:10,233 --> 00:51:11,735 OK scene. 645 00:51:11,902 --> 00:51:13,862 I'm good with that. 646 00:51:15,947 --> 00:51:16,865 I'd much rather cast someone that we're like 647 00:51:16,907 --> 00:51:22,913 toning down, than building up. -If they can hit that in that short time. 648 00:51:22,954 --> 00:51:25,791 Like how he did, you know, when he read it, and his inflection changed, 649 00:51:25,832 --> 00:51:27,918 and it was there. -I love Seth. 650 00:51:27,959 --> 00:51:30,337 -Which means that Seth and London are the top two. -He looked the part too. 651 00:51:30,462 --> 00:51:32,297 -Did he bring it too? -He was awesome. 652 00:51:32,422 --> 00:51:35,342 He looked it, he delivered. 653 00:51:58,824 --> 00:52:00,283 That's Josh Litton. 654 00:52:01,493 --> 00:52:02,661 Hello? 655 00:52:02,702 --> 00:52:04,246 Hey, uh... 656 00:52:04,538 --> 00:52:06,790 Remember, Canyon? 657 00:52:07,916 --> 00:52:10,544 -Canyon, yeah. -Yeah, he overdosed 658 00:52:10,585 --> 00:52:15,132 Shut up. Like overdosed as in like, is he dead? 659 00:52:15,173 --> 00:52:18,051 No he made it, but he was dead, I guess, 660 00:52:18,093 --> 00:52:20,971 when the paramedics got to him, they had to give him Narcan. 661 00:52:21,012 --> 00:52:21,763 Damn. 662 00:52:21,763 --> 00:52:25,684 Said he was shooting Dilaudid, and eating fentanyl patches. 663 00:52:26,017 --> 00:52:28,687 I've done that. I've eaten fentanyl patches before. 664 00:52:28,728 --> 00:52:30,814 -Yeah me too. -Yep. 665 00:52:30,856 --> 00:52:33,733 -Oh, my God, well I'm glad he's alive. 666 00:52:34,359 --> 00:52:38,613 -Alright well thank you for letting me know, dude. -Yeah man, I'll talk to you tomorrow. 667 00:52:46,538 --> 00:52:50,834 Canyon, the guy who worked with me and Josh on making commercials. 668 00:53:05,182 --> 00:53:09,686 That could very easily be me, could very easily be Josh. 669 00:53:24,701 --> 00:53:29,915 If I could talk to myself before a relapse, I would say this, too, shall pass. 670 00:53:29,956 --> 00:53:32,083 Tomorrow will come 671 00:53:32,209 --> 00:53:35,503 and the next day will come, and next day will come. 672 00:54:23,969 --> 00:54:28,390 Ahhh, we're going to Pinewood Studios to see.. 673 00:54:28,431 --> 00:54:31,726 I got a job interview with the cleaning company 674 00:54:31,851 --> 00:54:34,020 at 4:20. 675 00:54:34,187 --> 00:54:36,898 4-20, the magical number. 676 00:54:36,940 --> 00:54:38,066 No, but... 677 00:54:38,108 --> 00:54:44,447 This is where they film really, you know, Marvel movies, hundred million dollar movies, and... 678 00:54:44,739 --> 00:54:47,826 hopefully one day I'll be working here on set. 679 00:54:47,867 --> 00:54:51,496 But first we'll start with cleaning the set. 680 00:54:51,621 --> 00:54:53,206 So... 681 00:54:53,957 --> 00:54:55,292 I'm nervous, but I'm OK. 682 00:54:55,417 --> 00:54:57,585 I'm not going to panic. 683 00:55:04,134 --> 00:55:05,802 Well, 684 00:55:05,844 --> 00:55:07,721 that was interesting. 685 00:55:07,762 --> 00:55:12,392 The job is straight up cleaning toilets, 686 00:55:12,434 --> 00:55:15,061 and urinals. She'll know Friday, she'll let me know Friday 687 00:55:15,103 --> 00:55:18,523 and hopefully I'll be starting next Monday after the shoot. 688 00:55:22,152 --> 00:55:24,154 Cassadilla. 689 00:55:26,281 --> 00:55:28,074 -Hello, sir. -Hello 690 00:55:29,784 --> 00:55:32,120 When I say Canyon's in a vulnerable spot, 691 00:55:32,162 --> 00:55:37,709 I mean, he is... About as high-risk as you can get right now. 692 00:55:40,920 --> 00:55:42,756 -What's up buddy? 693 00:55:44,299 --> 00:55:46,509 -It's good to see you, I missed you. -I missed you too. 694 00:55:46,551 --> 00:55:49,012 -I'm glad you're...you OK? -Yeah. 695 00:55:49,054 --> 00:55:51,890 -Yeah? -You look good. You look good. 696 00:55:51,931 --> 00:55:54,476 -How ya doing, Canyon? -Hey what's up brother. 697 00:55:55,977 --> 00:55:59,022 What? That is such a weird-looking animal. 698 00:55:59,356 --> 00:56:02,984 -It's like touching a nut sack. -And that rat tail... 699 00:56:03,026 --> 00:56:05,653 -Oh, my God. -This is my kitty. 700 00:56:06,029 --> 00:56:08,656 -It's like ice running through your veins. -Yeah, yeah. 701 00:56:08,698 --> 00:56:09,449 I kept nodding out on the doctor, 702 00:56:09,449 --> 00:56:12,702 he's like, "we're gonna give you something to reverse this." 703 00:56:12,744 --> 00:56:16,206 -I'm like, "Alright man." -Don't do that! 704 00:56:16,581 --> 00:56:20,210 Here you get this huge thing of just Narcan... 705 00:56:20,251 --> 00:56:22,504 -I'm like... -Where'd they stick it at? 706 00:56:22,712 --> 00:56:24,964 -Right in my IV. -Oh, OK. 707 00:56:25,006 --> 00:56:28,301 So it's directly in my blood stream and I mean it just shoots you... 708 00:56:28,343 --> 00:56:31,012 You got new tracks and stuff? Oh, yeah. 709 00:56:31,054 --> 00:56:35,225 I mean it sucks dude, I had... You're... 710 00:56:37,560 --> 00:56:39,938 You're stuck in it. 711 00:56:40,105 --> 00:56:43,274 I don't know, I regret ever leaving A Better Way. 712 00:56:43,441 --> 00:56:43,983 I really do. 713 00:56:44,150 --> 00:56:49,531 At the time I thought God was telling me to leave. 714 00:56:49,572 --> 00:56:50,490 What's the plan like? 715 00:56:50,532 --> 00:56:52,367 What are you going to do? 716 00:56:52,409 --> 00:56:53,868 For real, for real no bullshit. 717 00:56:53,910 --> 00:56:57,122 For real for real, no bullshit um... 718 00:56:57,580 --> 00:57:01,668 I know I can't go back into the industry anymore 719 00:57:01,709 --> 00:57:05,004 because there's way too many influences. 720 00:57:05,296 --> 00:57:09,592 I mean, the whole time I shooting Drop Dead Diva, I was also shooting ice. 721 00:57:09,634 --> 00:57:10,677 -Yeah. -You know? 722 00:57:10,718 --> 00:57:12,512 -Whatever drug you want... -Ready. 723 00:57:12,554 --> 00:57:15,390 Right like, guy in props has a pocket full of OxyContin. 724 00:57:15,432 --> 00:57:19,436 Like just go talk to him, he'll probably give you some for free. 725 00:57:19,477 --> 00:57:23,356 If you could work in an environment where there wasn't drugs and it was in film? 726 00:57:23,398 --> 00:57:24,065 -I would love it. -Yeah? 727 00:57:24,107 --> 00:57:28,820 I would love it, I'd take it hands down, you know. 728 00:57:34,701 --> 00:57:40,373 I'm most nervous that this week... That they're just not going to put it together. 729 00:57:40,623 --> 00:57:42,959 I care most about them being healthy 730 00:57:43,001 --> 00:57:45,712 and what does it matter if you tell a good story or make a short film, 731 00:57:45,753 --> 00:57:49,257 if someone relapses like that's not, it's not worth it. 732 00:57:49,382 --> 00:57:52,802 Right now, I'm the most stressed I've been this whole time. 733 00:57:52,844 --> 00:57:54,929 I'm so goddamn sick of this shit feeling like 734 00:57:54,971 --> 00:57:59,767 I'm supposed to know all the answers, like I'm so, I'm about to snap. 735 00:57:59,809 --> 00:58:00,477 That's the thing that's driving me nuts, 736 00:58:00,477 --> 00:58:02,979 is that you and I aren't on the same page with this. 737 00:58:03,062 --> 00:58:04,647 Is it my fault? Do I need to fix... 738 00:58:04,689 --> 00:58:06,816 No, listen, I'm flipping. I don't know why. 739 00:58:06,858 --> 00:58:08,651 I don't know why. I... It's like, 740 00:58:08,693 --> 00:58:10,445 I could cry. 741 00:58:10,945 --> 00:58:14,991 Here you go, picture them brother and sister, Seth. And Quinn. 742 00:58:15,033 --> 00:58:17,869 Alexa, hey, this is Cassidy from "On the Fence." 743 00:58:17,911 --> 00:58:20,121 We liked you the most out of everybody, 744 00:58:20,163 --> 00:58:25,460 so we wanted to give you the gig and was hoping you'd say yes. 745 00:58:26,961 --> 00:58:29,506 Yay! Look forward to working with you. 746 00:58:29,547 --> 00:58:31,674 -We got a Judy. -We got a Judy. 747 00:58:34,886 --> 00:58:38,264 -Hey what's going on Drew? -You guys still wanna make a movie? 748 00:58:38,431 --> 00:58:40,600 I think so. 749 00:58:42,393 --> 00:58:46,147 If we were to step on set right now, it would be a train wreck. 750 00:58:46,356 --> 00:58:49,025 I think I might have a location for the fence. 751 00:58:49,067 --> 00:58:51,528 -That could be our road. -The road kill road? 752 00:58:51,569 --> 00:58:53,154 Yeah. 753 00:59:00,119 --> 00:59:01,996 This is the opening shot of the movie. 754 00:59:02,038 --> 00:59:07,001 -So I'm thinking, start moving then you start moving. -OK. 755 00:59:09,837 --> 00:59:12,257 Look back. Cut. 756 00:59:12,590 --> 00:59:18,346 Have the camera come and tilt like this, you know, and Pete is gonna have to run this way. 757 00:59:22,517 --> 00:59:25,728 Then it's jam it to the fence, with me, dirty shoulder. 758 00:59:25,770 --> 00:59:30,567 Do you have that? OK, and now stay there and now you get one more like that. 759 00:59:30,608 --> 00:59:33,736 Man this could be a great ending, just ending with the trees and then 760 00:59:33,778 --> 00:59:36,197 putting the title up there, just kind of like he's looking up to heaven, 761 00:59:36,239 --> 00:59:39,576 saying, "Hey, God, I'm going to commit this time." 762 00:59:39,701 --> 00:59:43,162 And then we can get a beautiful shot of the sun going through the trees. 763 00:59:43,204 --> 00:59:46,291 The cool dance between light and darkness. 764 00:59:46,332 --> 00:59:47,750 Love it. 765 00:59:48,376 --> 00:59:54,716 Our main character, Pete, has a long road ahead of him in trying to stay sober. 766 01:00:04,350 --> 01:00:06,686 There's a scene where we have all these photos. 767 01:00:06,728 --> 01:00:10,523 So we're supposed to have all these photos on the fence and we don't have enough of those. 768 01:00:10,815 --> 01:00:11,649 You know, some guys come in the program and 769 01:00:11,649 --> 01:00:15,903 they have tats all over and they wear their wounds on the outside. 770 01:00:15,945 --> 01:00:18,531 And you can see they've had a rough life. 771 01:00:18,656 --> 01:00:22,452 But some guys that come in the program, they're clean on the outside. 772 01:00:22,577 --> 01:00:26,372 They look like church kids, but their wounds are on the inside. 773 01:00:26,414 --> 01:00:30,793 And those sometimes are the guys who are the most messed up. 774 01:00:31,294 --> 01:00:33,713 In recovery, it's sort of refreshing 775 01:00:33,755 --> 01:00:36,090 in a way, because everybody's messed up already. 776 01:00:36,215 --> 01:00:38,551 It's like an openness, it's like "yeah, I got this addiction, 777 01:00:38,593 --> 01:00:42,680 I got this problem." And people are more accepting of that. 778 01:00:43,681 --> 01:00:49,395 I feel like there's a community here of people that are as messed up as me or more 779 01:00:49,437 --> 01:00:53,274 and if I'm having a messed up day or some of my stuff comes out or whatever, 780 01:00:53,316 --> 01:00:54,984 they don't care. 781 01:00:55,026 --> 01:00:58,029 They'll look at you like, "that's all you got today? Please. 782 01:00:58,071 --> 01:01:00,657 I mean, I've seen worse than that, I've been through worse than that." 783 01:01:00,782 --> 01:01:04,369 So that makes me feel like I belong. 784 01:01:07,455 --> 01:01:10,291 Pull yourself together, Cassidy. 785 01:01:10,333 --> 01:01:13,127 You're OK. 786 01:01:13,336 --> 01:01:15,088 You're a child of God. 787 01:01:17,006 --> 01:01:19,050 Stop crying. 788 01:01:19,217 --> 01:01:20,927 You're a child of God. 789 01:01:21,177 --> 01:01:23,388 You're a child of God. You're a child of God. 790 01:01:23,429 --> 01:01:25,640 You're a child of God. You can do this. 791 01:01:25,682 --> 01:01:28,226 You can do this, you can do this. 792 01:01:29,560 --> 01:01:31,521 You can do this. 793 01:01:33,606 --> 01:01:37,610 Hello, welcome, guys. Cassidy, nice to meet you again. 794 01:01:37,735 --> 01:01:38,861 Come on in, guys. 795 01:01:38,903 --> 01:01:41,614 Yeah I'm doing great. 796 01:01:41,656 --> 01:01:43,616 Becky, Mom. Hi Quinn. 797 01:01:43,658 --> 01:01:44,867 -Welcome. -Alexa. 798 01:01:44,909 --> 01:01:46,536 Seth, you're older brother. 799 01:01:46,744 --> 01:01:49,205 And I know I've read and heard a lot of times that 800 01:01:49,247 --> 01:01:52,625 90 percent of good directing is having good actors, right? 801 01:01:52,667 --> 01:01:56,421 So at least we got 90 percent, and I'll just take care of the other 10 percent. 802 01:01:56,462 --> 01:01:59,257 I myself am an addict in recovery. 803 01:01:59,298 --> 01:02:03,845 I have...social, like, really bad social anxiety and fear, 804 01:02:03,886 --> 01:02:06,848 of big groups of people, which is nice because this is nice and intimate right now 805 01:02:06,889 --> 01:02:08,725 so I love it. 806 01:02:08,891 --> 01:02:09,767 And so I would get high. 807 01:02:09,809 --> 01:02:14,272 That's how it first started off was to get high just to try to cope. 808 01:02:14,313 --> 01:02:17,442 And then I have a little sister and I just... 809 01:02:17,525 --> 01:02:22,697 It would be devastating for her to tell me, you know, you can't come home. 810 01:02:23,114 --> 01:02:27,034 When she talks about how her brother went to the ministry and everything like that, 811 01:02:27,201 --> 01:02:30,037 and then she asks you, "what you running from?" 812 01:02:30,079 --> 01:02:32,165 -Maybe you take a swing of your beer. -Mmhmm 813 01:02:32,206 --> 01:02:34,667 Cause you're trying to avoid the answer to that question. 814 01:02:34,709 --> 01:02:37,837 OK. Action. 815 01:02:38,171 --> 01:02:40,506 We will not celebrate you, 816 01:02:40,673 --> 01:02:44,427 give you presents, buy your groceries, bail you out-- 817 01:02:44,469 --> 01:02:46,888 --this isn't how a family is supposed to treat each other. 818 01:02:46,929 --> 01:02:49,891 Door opens, Mom gets out. 819 01:02:50,725 --> 01:02:52,727 From now on, 820 01:02:52,769 --> 01:02:57,023 my actions will match my love for you. 821 01:03:00,985 --> 01:03:04,238 We'll be there if you graduate. 822 01:03:07,950 --> 01:03:09,827 I died once. 823 01:03:09,869 --> 01:03:17,627 I was technically dead for like eight minutes of an overdose. 824 01:03:17,668 --> 01:03:20,046 Well I got shot and I was dead for like 10. 825 01:03:20,087 --> 01:03:20,963 You beat me by two minutes. 826 01:03:21,005 --> 01:03:26,052 You've had a glimpse into the afterlife two minutes longer than me. 827 01:03:26,803 --> 01:03:30,765 We're going to get this side fixed up, see if we can get your smile back and, 828 01:03:30,807 --> 01:03:33,810 get you ready and looking nice for graduation, right? 829 01:03:33,935 --> 01:03:36,395 -Yes sir. -Awesome. 830 01:03:53,913 --> 01:03:57,667 Well, so there you go, rejected from cleaning, 831 01:03:57,708 --> 01:04:03,130 I cannot even get a job at Pinewood Studios cleaning it, 832 01:04:03,256 --> 01:04:06,926 cleaning the toilets. It kind of makes you feel like you're less than I mean... 833 01:04:06,968 --> 01:04:09,846 you know, shit. 834 01:04:09,971 --> 01:04:12,807 Fuck. I need something to go right. 835 01:04:12,849 --> 01:04:17,895 Seemed like everything was gonna go right, and then enough, starts falling apart again. 836 01:04:23,734 --> 01:04:27,238 I really kinda just wanna have a drink right now. 837 01:04:27,280 --> 01:04:30,616 I just wanna chug right now, just... 838 01:04:30,658 --> 01:04:34,328 Get hammered and forget about all this crap. 839 01:04:54,348 --> 01:04:57,894 Hmm, yeah, I mean... 840 01:04:58,227 --> 01:05:02,398 Um, I found out my ex-wife got remarried. 841 01:05:02,440 --> 01:05:04,650 And... 842 01:05:04,817 --> 01:05:07,194 There's a part of me that didn't wanna believe it would happen. 843 01:05:07,236 --> 01:05:13,159 Um, she was still using my last name for the longest time, 844 01:05:13,200 --> 01:05:14,827 and um... 845 01:05:16,120 --> 01:05:18,873 Then all of a sudden it just changed. 846 01:05:18,915 --> 01:05:21,542 And there's wedding pictures. It's done. 847 01:05:21,584 --> 01:05:23,461 It's been done. But now it's really done. 848 01:05:23,502 --> 01:05:27,715 Now it's, now it's done with no chance of coming back. 849 01:05:28,507 --> 01:05:29,383 I lose sleep over it, 850 01:05:29,383 --> 01:05:33,679 I dream about her every night, and it's always some kinda dream about 851 01:05:33,721 --> 01:05:38,059 me not being able to get to her like something bad happening and I can't get to her, 852 01:05:38,100 --> 01:05:39,977 it's torture. 853 01:05:47,944 --> 01:05:51,322 -So you're running, which way guys? -Right to the left. 854 01:05:51,364 --> 01:05:52,823 No, no, no. Yeah, which-- 855 01:05:52,865 --> 01:05:53,866 alright. 856 01:05:54,075 --> 01:05:54,867 -Where does he go? 857 01:05:54,909 --> 01:05:57,954 He's sitting on the toilet pulling drugs out of his backpack. 858 01:05:57,995 --> 01:06:00,873 OK, so we're gonna shoot it this way. It's totally cool. 859 01:06:00,915 --> 01:06:05,503 So you want him down, right? So clear the frame, please. 860 01:06:05,544 --> 01:06:07,046 Cassidy please clear frame. 861 01:06:07,088 --> 01:06:08,547 Thanks. 862 01:06:08,589 --> 01:06:10,549 Alright, now up. 863 01:06:10,591 --> 01:06:15,221 So regardless if it's here, he is down using and then he sits up into frame 864 01:06:15,262 --> 01:06:18,933 and he's unrolling a bill. -And it would be cool if we could add a nice wide shot here 865 01:06:18,975 --> 01:06:22,395 of him looking through the aisle. -Let me see the list, I don't... 866 01:06:23,604 --> 01:06:26,148 This isn't the time that we... 867 01:06:26,190 --> 01:06:27,024 Jared, help me, help me. 868 01:06:27,024 --> 01:06:30,778 I'm trying to make better sense of, like, explain what this is. 869 01:06:30,820 --> 01:06:33,072 This isn't let's figure out our shots. 870 01:06:33,114 --> 01:06:34,907 This is let's get on pictures of what 871 01:06:34,949 --> 01:06:37,159 we've already planned for the last two weeks. 872 01:06:37,201 --> 01:06:39,370 -Yeah. -Yeah, OK. 873 01:06:39,495 --> 01:06:41,539 Because you're talking, and I'm, I love you. 874 01:06:41,580 --> 01:06:43,749 I'm just, it's work time, and I'm not trying to be a dick. 875 01:06:43,791 --> 01:06:45,584 But you're talking about adding things, 876 01:06:45,626 --> 01:06:49,088 changing things that are huge on my end that we've put a lot into. 877 01:06:49,130 --> 01:06:51,173 And because of the issues that we've had 878 01:06:51,215 --> 01:06:54,468 with you can't be there, which is not your fault. 879 01:06:54,510 --> 01:06:55,344 -I feel like I'm being a dick, I'm not trying-- -No, I'm hearing you, 880 01:06:55,344 --> 01:06:58,931 You put a lot of work into this, this is a lot. -It's not just me 881 01:06:58,973 --> 01:07:01,267 it's the other people that are gonna make this happen. 882 01:07:01,308 --> 01:07:03,936 This was the result of a six hour meeting, that... 883 01:07:03,978 --> 01:07:05,896 you missed. -So 884 01:07:06,022 --> 01:07:09,817 -So I'm learning it also as we go because I didn't know all these shots. 885 01:07:09,859 --> 01:07:13,738 -Yeah. -Well we need him to have space to say this is how I pictured it. 886 01:07:13,779 --> 01:07:15,531 -Sure. Because we can change this. 887 01:07:15,573 --> 01:07:17,950 But on the day we can't change this. 888 01:07:17,992 --> 01:07:21,704 On the day we're shooting this, and praying to God we get our coverage. 889 01:07:21,746 --> 01:07:23,831 -OK. -OK. 890 01:07:24,331 --> 01:07:26,917 Alright. So what we got first, he's in the isle. 891 01:07:27,209 --> 01:07:31,005 So face that way like you're in the aisle, please. 892 01:07:31,047 --> 01:07:35,092 -OK. -Then over the shoulder of Pete as the car pulls in, wide shot. 893 01:07:35,134 --> 01:07:37,470 Yep. 894 01:07:37,511 --> 01:07:39,513 I took my last pill an hour ago 895 01:07:39,555 --> 01:07:41,932 for my lunchtime dose, so I'm all out of meds, 896 01:07:41,974 --> 01:07:45,186 so I've got to go today and get that filled so I can have it tomorrow morning. 897 01:07:45,227 --> 01:07:47,980 -Cool, alright. Love you buddy. -Love you too, you're doing a great job. 898 01:07:48,022 --> 01:07:50,733 -Yeah, you are too, thank you. And I'm sorry I'm not trying... 899 01:07:50,775 --> 01:07:53,110 -You're fine, you're fine. 900 01:07:59,825 --> 01:08:01,202 Well. 901 01:08:03,329 --> 01:08:10,252 I want it to go so well, so bad, like I want this to be really great and... 902 01:08:11,170 --> 01:08:12,838 I don't know. 903 01:08:13,005 --> 01:08:15,591 I guess like these days, I'm a little... 904 01:08:15,633 --> 01:08:19,929 I'm a little more like mad at Cassidy than I thought I was. 905 01:08:19,970 --> 01:08:20,846 I think, I don't know, 906 01:08:20,846 --> 01:08:25,726 There's a part of me that thinks like, "why didn't you stick around?" 907 01:08:25,893 --> 01:08:31,524 I don't know, feels a little... I feel a little abandoned. 908 01:09:08,310 --> 01:09:11,438 I really experienced God when I'm outside in nature. 909 01:09:11,564 --> 01:09:16,152 Takes my mind off of all my obsessive thinking, negative thinking, 910 01:09:16,193 --> 01:09:18,904 Oh, Cassidy, you're just - you're not worth it, Cassidy, 911 01:09:18,946 --> 01:09:23,033 you're going to fall a part again, Cassidy, you're going to relapse again. 912 01:09:31,125 --> 01:09:34,211 I'm gonna call that scene four, part two. 913 01:09:34,253 --> 01:09:38,215 This is where Pete is walking back to the rehab 914 01:09:38,340 --> 01:09:39,175 sees some roadkill. 915 01:09:39,216 --> 01:09:44,138 As Pete's walking by the disfiguredness of this, this carcass here, 916 01:09:44,180 --> 01:09:48,601 he's looking at, he's looking at his dead self, the old Pete. 917 01:09:48,642 --> 01:09:49,518 And then, and then when he gets back 918 01:09:49,518 --> 01:09:55,524 on the campus, he looks up to the sky as he's walking, walking back. 919 01:09:55,900 --> 01:09:59,695 He's acknowledging the new Pete. And um... 920 01:10:00,070 --> 01:10:05,075 That he's, that he's gonna do things differently now. 921 01:10:20,466 --> 01:10:21,425 I'm a little stressed about putting a dead 922 01:10:21,425 --> 01:10:27,097 animal in my trunk because it's so freaking hot, gonna be nasty, guts everywhere. 923 01:10:27,223 --> 01:10:30,184 I'm just wondering what people are gonna think when they're driving by. 924 01:10:30,226 --> 01:10:32,269 What kind of weird rituals 925 01:10:32,311 --> 01:10:36,482 am I doing at home with dead animals? 926 01:10:36,649 --> 01:10:39,944 It's not, it's not wintertime. It's not like I'm picking it up to eat it. 927 01:10:46,492 --> 01:10:49,370 Oh, my God, it looks disgusting. 928 01:10:49,411 --> 01:10:51,163 Come on, man. 929 01:10:52,706 --> 01:10:54,875 Smells like death. 930 01:12:35,351 --> 01:12:38,979 Cool. Super exciting. 931 01:12:40,606 --> 01:12:43,150 Oh, boy. Alrighty. 932 01:12:43,192 --> 01:12:46,111 -Hello, hello, hello. -How are you doing? 933 01:12:46,236 --> 01:12:48,322 -Shaking. -Don't be, don't be. 934 01:12:48,364 --> 01:12:50,240 -I'm good. -You're so good, dude. You're so good. 935 01:12:50,282 --> 01:12:53,452 -I'm so, so, so proud of you. -I'm proud of you too, dude. 936 01:12:53,494 --> 01:12:55,704 This is the kinda stuff that we always used to talk about. 937 01:12:55,829 --> 01:12:59,041 -Love you -Love you too. Super chill. 938 01:12:59,208 --> 01:13:01,919 The writing was like, just spot on. 939 01:13:01,960 --> 01:13:04,296 You know, it just felt like whoever wrote 940 01:13:04,338 --> 01:13:07,132 this is connecting to this character in a real way. 941 01:13:07,174 --> 01:13:10,010 I know this material pretty well. 942 01:13:10,052 --> 01:13:14,556 My family has suffered from addiction quite a bit. 943 01:13:14,598 --> 01:13:20,604 And like, my dad actually died two months ago and he did heroin for 30 years. 944 01:13:20,646 --> 01:13:24,525 And he was still on heroin the day he died, you know? 945 01:13:24,650 --> 01:13:29,321 And so my entire family has been like, affected by this stuff. 946 01:13:29,696 --> 01:13:32,199 Hey. Canyon, you made it. 947 01:13:32,241 --> 01:13:33,784 -Party animal. -Thank you 948 01:13:33,826 --> 01:13:35,035 How are you doing, man? 949 01:13:35,202 --> 01:13:37,204 -You alright, man? -You doin good, brother? 950 01:13:37,246 --> 01:13:39,832 -Man, I'm doing good, bro, it's good to see you, man. 951 01:13:39,873 --> 01:13:41,750 You're looking good, bro. 952 01:13:41,875 --> 01:13:46,380 I'm not good in front of a lot of people. So that's what makes me nervous. 953 01:13:46,505 --> 01:13:48,799 This is Canyon. He's going to be helping out today too, with y'all 954 01:13:48,841 --> 01:13:52,344 so he's just, kinda doing Grip PA. 955 01:13:54,930 --> 01:13:58,809 -I don't even wanna say the word rain. -It's coming dude. 956 01:13:58,976 --> 01:14:01,186 Take it strides at a time. 957 01:14:01,228 --> 01:14:03,647 I get to hang out with this fool right here. 958 01:14:04,648 --> 01:14:07,943 So life's good, man. Life's good. 959 01:14:07,985 --> 01:14:11,405 -I love that, that's great. -So the people we wanted in the movie are right here. 960 01:14:11,447 --> 01:14:13,782 Everything that needs to be rain proof right now. 961 01:14:13,824 --> 01:14:15,159 I want to cover everything. 962 01:14:15,200 --> 01:14:17,119 Rain! Rain cover. 963 01:14:17,161 --> 01:14:19,746 -Just a little bit of stress that's all. -That's OK. 964 01:14:19,788 --> 01:14:21,206 -It's OK. 965 01:14:21,248 --> 01:14:24,334 Rain, rain go away come back a different day. 966 01:14:30,215 --> 01:14:33,927 This rain needs to stop. I don't know what we're gonna do if it doesn't stop. 967 01:14:33,969 --> 01:14:37,556 We will be... I don't wanna say it. I don't even wanna think it. 968 01:14:37,598 --> 01:14:40,350 -What that we'd have to cancel? -Yeah I don't even wanna say it. 969 01:14:40,392 --> 01:14:42,102 -How - ohh! 970 01:14:43,395 --> 01:14:44,563 Chief lighting technician. 971 01:14:44,605 --> 01:14:47,483 Anything that involves lights, that's me. 972 01:14:47,524 --> 01:14:51,069 We can't shoot, obviously, 973 01:14:51,195 --> 01:14:56,241 and all our gear is very expensive and it doesn't like water. 974 01:14:58,327 --> 01:15:00,078 -This sucks. -Really bad. 975 01:15:00,120 --> 01:15:03,040 -It just, it looks so permanent. -Shit. 976 01:15:03,373 --> 01:15:06,168 Hi. I'm gonna have to close it a little bit, OK? 977 01:15:06,210 --> 01:15:07,544 Great, great. 978 01:15:10,756 --> 01:15:12,716 There's somebody in there. 979 01:15:15,969 --> 01:15:18,931 We'll be swimming pretty soon. 980 01:15:19,556 --> 01:15:22,726 I think we're OK maybe for a bit, then it's supposed to rain again. 981 01:15:22,768 --> 01:15:23,519 -Really? -Yeah. 982 01:15:23,560 --> 01:15:26,855 -How bad does it look? -It's gonna rain all freaking day. 983 01:15:26,897 --> 01:15:28,148 -Here it is, this is rolling in right now. 984 01:15:28,190 --> 01:15:31,860 -That's just what we went through, that little one? -Yes, that little one is what we just went through. 985 01:15:31,902 --> 01:15:32,778 -That's coming. -This is coming. 986 01:15:32,778 --> 01:15:36,198 -Dude, it's like the forecast completely changed from this morning. 987 01:15:36,240 --> 01:15:38,075 But I think we're OK. Maybe for a bit. 988 01:15:38,116 --> 01:15:40,035 OK, picture up. Picture's up! 989 01:15:40,077 --> 01:15:41,870 Hey Seth, What's up, brother. 990 01:15:41,912 --> 01:15:43,747 -Good to see you. -Good to see you too, gimme a hug. 991 01:15:43,789 --> 01:15:46,333 -Great to see you. -Great to see you too, stayed dry? 992 01:15:46,375 --> 01:15:47,084 -Yeah, yeah. 993 01:15:47,125 --> 01:15:50,671 -We got us a window here. -Yeah, let's do it. I'm excited. 994 01:15:50,712 --> 01:15:55,425 -OK, so the scene is you running down the fence post here. 995 01:15:55,467 --> 01:15:58,554 So the idea is jog nice and slow, and then kinda 996 01:15:58,595 --> 01:16:02,224 we want you to pick up speed as you go because you're going to run out of frame. 997 01:16:02,724 --> 01:16:06,895 -Like here? -Yeah, the shot is going to be like this. 998 01:16:07,688 --> 01:16:09,022 Slate up! 999 01:16:09,648 --> 01:16:15,279 -Down a little bit, slate. -Scene one alpha, take one. Mark it. 1000 01:16:17,781 --> 01:16:19,199 Action. 1001 01:16:19,241 --> 01:16:21,368 Go ahead Seth, go. 1002 01:16:31,962 --> 01:16:35,507 Yeah, yeah, you're doing great. Action. 1003 01:16:35,924 --> 01:16:38,427 Yeah, I have no idea when he's exiting frame. 1004 01:16:38,468 --> 01:16:40,721 That's true, you can't see. He never, on this one 1005 01:16:40,762 --> 01:16:44,391 he never left frame, he's like way in the whole time. 1006 01:16:45,934 --> 01:16:49,813 It's going, it's going OK. It's a little frustrating, 1007 01:16:49,980 --> 01:16:51,898 Blocking is a pain in the butt. 1008 01:16:51,940 --> 01:16:55,068 Just to get everybody queued at the same time doing the same thing. 1009 01:16:56,111 --> 01:16:58,280 -Action. -Go, go. Go, Seth. 1010 01:16:58,322 --> 01:16:59,656 Go, go find him. 1011 01:16:59,698 --> 01:17:01,950 Stop, reset, we're still speeding! 1012 01:17:01,992 --> 01:17:03,076 How's that top? 1013 01:17:03,118 --> 01:17:03,619 Oh. 1014 01:17:03,619 --> 01:17:05,162 -You alright? -You good, brother? 1015 01:17:07,748 --> 01:17:10,250 That's what I mean. It's not, it's not... 1016 01:17:10,417 --> 01:17:11,668 It's just a bad tooth. 1017 01:17:11,710 --> 01:17:12,878 Please just give me a second, man. 1018 01:17:12,919 --> 01:17:14,463 Please 1019 01:17:14,504 --> 01:17:16,298 -Stop filming-- -Yeah it's bleeding above the tooth. 1020 01:17:16,340 --> 01:17:17,257 -It's OK though? -Yeah. 1021 01:17:17,299 --> 01:17:18,508 Copy. 1022 01:17:20,761 --> 01:17:23,597 -Ah son of a-- -Take seven, mark it. 1023 01:17:23,639 --> 01:17:25,932 -Give us some room. -Clear the road! 1024 01:17:25,974 --> 01:17:27,017 Action. 1025 01:17:27,392 --> 01:17:29,311 Stop stop stop stop stop. 1026 01:17:29,353 --> 01:17:32,439 Cut. We were in reverse still and we went backwards. 1027 01:17:32,606 --> 01:17:34,566 -You alright? -Yep. 1028 01:17:34,608 --> 01:17:35,359 Let's, can we take a deep breath? Real quick. 1029 01:17:35,359 --> 01:17:38,236 -OK everybody breathe in, everybody in. -Want me to cut? 1030 01:17:38,278 --> 01:17:40,822 -No we're still rolling. Everybody out. 1031 01:17:40,864 --> 01:17:44,993 Cassidy. We're, so we've gotta get, we've gotta get, um. 1032 01:17:45,869 --> 01:17:48,372 Camera action and him action 1033 01:17:48,413 --> 01:17:49,289 -we've got to that figured out -At the same time. 1034 01:17:49,331 --> 01:17:50,082 Because every time he's standing there looking around -Yeah that's why-- 1035 01:17:50,082 --> 01:17:53,794 --but no one said anything, that's why. So we gotta... 1036 01:17:53,835 --> 01:17:54,795 -We gotta get on that. -OK. 1037 01:17:54,836 --> 01:17:59,758 -Let's figure out the best way to do that, because we're-- -I'll talk to him. 1038 01:17:59,925 --> 01:18:03,679 This is a great thing for Cass to be in charge of, you're in charge of talking to Drew 1039 01:18:03,720 --> 01:18:07,641 and talking to the actor, and coordinating every time when you say action what is happening. 1040 01:18:07,683 --> 01:18:09,309 And you're in charge of that. So do it. 1041 01:18:09,351 --> 01:18:10,143 -OK -You got it. 1042 01:18:10,185 --> 01:18:10,852 Got it. 1043 01:18:10,894 --> 01:18:13,480 We're watching you do it. Be a director, here we go. 1044 01:18:13,689 --> 01:18:18,026 -We gotta go! -Actor's action. Action. 1045 01:18:20,362 --> 01:18:24,199 That was a lot smoother. Can we watch it when they get back? 1046 01:18:24,449 --> 01:18:27,244 You know, doesn't feel like it's going to rain again. 1047 01:18:27,285 --> 01:18:32,749 Last time I said that, it started pouring, so don't hold me to it. 1048 01:18:32,791 --> 01:18:37,170 This is it. Here we go. Is this the first shot of our movie? 1049 01:18:57,357 --> 01:18:58,900 -Was that the one? -Cutting. 1050 01:18:58,942 --> 01:19:01,027 -Alright I think we're good. -Check. 1051 01:19:04,072 --> 01:19:05,782 -Rain's starting again. -Yup, here it comes. 1052 01:19:05,824 --> 01:19:07,033 Bitch! 1053 01:19:07,909 --> 01:19:13,540 Generator's all covered right now with a tarp, I mean, it's safe how it is. 1054 01:19:23,133 --> 01:19:25,510 -I can do this. -You got this, brother. 1055 01:19:25,552 --> 01:19:28,555 -I have so much faith in you. It's unreal. -Thank you. 1056 01:19:28,972 --> 01:19:33,685 This is the key scene that sets up the, what's going on in this movie? 1057 01:19:33,727 --> 01:19:37,481 So everybody else has put their reminders of why they're trying to get sober, 1058 01:19:37,522 --> 01:19:40,984 and instead of doing that, he just Pete puts his money on the fence. 1059 01:19:41,026 --> 01:19:43,361 I don't like being on the fence, man. That doesn't sound good. 1060 01:19:43,403 --> 01:19:45,572 -That's why, that's the layers, right? -Right. 1061 01:19:45,614 --> 01:19:48,200 Do I want to get sober or do I not wanna get sober? 1062 01:19:48,241 --> 01:19:51,870 Definitely want to. 1063 01:19:52,037 --> 01:19:54,790 It's crazy how you like rationalize like, OK 1064 01:19:54,831 --> 01:19:59,252 you know, I'm never doing this again, but this? Then you slip. 1065 01:19:59,294 --> 01:20:02,214 I don't wanna, I don't wanna be high anymore, dude. 1066 01:20:02,380 --> 01:20:06,051 I really don't. I'm not happy when I'm high. 1067 01:20:06,092 --> 01:20:10,013 -Camera speed. -And action. 1068 01:20:12,224 --> 01:20:16,436 Keep rolling, stop, stop, freeze, ready? Keep rolling. 1069 01:20:16,603 --> 01:20:19,731 -What's the next line? -Never thought my life would come to this. 1070 01:20:19,773 --> 01:20:20,899 Cut! 1071 01:20:20,941 --> 01:20:22,400 Alright, armadillo. 1072 01:20:26,947 --> 01:20:28,615 We're in trouble. 1073 01:20:28,782 --> 01:20:30,826 We're in trouble. If this doesn't stop-- 1074 01:20:30,867 --> 01:20:34,037 -Everybody find cover. -Everybody cover! 1075 01:20:34,246 --> 01:20:37,791 We don't have enough money to cancel the day 1076 01:20:37,833 --> 01:20:40,168 and say, "oh, we'll get it next weekend," like that doesn't exist. 1077 01:20:40,210 --> 01:20:42,087 -We have two days and that's it. -Alright. 1078 01:20:42,128 --> 01:20:43,713 Let's not, let's not even think there yet. 1079 01:20:43,755 --> 01:20:46,049 Let's not even get, let's not get to tomorrow yet. 1080 01:20:46,091 --> 01:20:48,468 Let's, let's live in the moment. Let's be here. 1081 01:20:51,096 --> 01:20:56,142 Now we're about to do some rotten armadillo, so hopefully my lunch doesn't come up. 1082 01:20:56,560 --> 01:20:59,020 Double bagged it, I like that, I like that. 1083 01:20:59,062 --> 01:21:00,856 Oh my God, there it is. 1084 01:21:00,939 --> 01:21:02,816 Oh, it's so ripe. 1085 01:21:03,984 --> 01:21:06,903 Look at it. Oh my gosh it's so gross. 1086 01:21:06,945 --> 01:21:09,197 Oh, my God. 1087 01:21:11,283 --> 01:21:13,743 -Spot that light in just a tiny bit. -There we go! 1088 01:21:13,785 --> 01:21:18,206 -Now pan with him if you will. -And action. 1089 01:21:20,750 --> 01:21:23,169 -This is my mom and sister. 1090 01:21:23,211 --> 01:21:24,671 -You're good -Hey! 1091 01:21:24,713 --> 01:21:26,631 They came out to see me. 1092 01:21:28,592 --> 01:21:31,845 Do you think making movies will keep him out of drugs? 1093 01:21:33,972 --> 01:21:35,432 Honestly? 1094 01:21:35,473 --> 01:21:36,725 Probably not. 1095 01:21:37,225 --> 01:21:40,520 I wouldn't think so. I mean, no. 1096 01:21:40,562 --> 01:21:42,022 I wouldn't... 1097 01:21:42,355 --> 01:21:43,440 Because other things have happened to him 1098 01:21:43,481 --> 01:21:47,903 that you would think would help him stay outta drugs and it never has, I don't see... 1099 01:21:47,944 --> 01:21:48,403 I don't think... 1100 01:21:48,570 --> 01:21:52,115 No, I think he has a sabotage thing going. 1101 01:21:52,157 --> 01:21:54,492 He'll ruin it for himself. 1102 01:21:54,534 --> 01:21:56,536 I would hope he wouldn't, but... 1103 01:21:56,578 --> 01:21:58,663 It's Cass. 1104 01:22:27,484 --> 01:22:28,526 Yesterday we didn't ruin a movie 1105 01:22:28,568 --> 01:22:33,531 but we didn't make a great movie yet. Today we either make a great movie or we don't. 1106 01:22:33,990 --> 01:22:38,995 Having to tell someone like a family member off and like cutting them out, 1107 01:22:39,037 --> 01:22:41,831 I've unfortunately kind of had to do that quite recently. 1108 01:22:41,873 --> 01:22:45,377 So I do connect with the character in that way. 1109 01:22:49,047 --> 01:22:51,466 I'm more nervous today than I was yesterday. 1110 01:22:51,508 --> 01:22:53,927 I feel like I'm gonna puke at any time. 1111 01:22:53,969 --> 01:22:55,387 I mean, I don't blame him. 1112 01:22:55,428 --> 01:22:58,014 It has a lot of stress, but... 1113 01:22:58,098 --> 01:23:02,227 That's what he's gotta do, you know, he is the director of this bad boy, so 1114 01:23:02,268 --> 01:23:05,939 he's gonna have to just jam it out and roll with the punches. 1115 01:23:10,527 --> 01:23:13,321 Ok here we go, we're quiet on set! 1116 01:23:14,406 --> 01:23:16,574 And action! 1117 01:23:16,700 --> 01:23:19,619 So what are you doing in town? 1118 01:23:19,661 --> 01:23:23,790 Just on my way out actually. Just meeting family. 1119 01:23:24,499 --> 01:23:26,251 You lie often? 1120 01:23:27,043 --> 01:23:32,674 -How so? -Dropouts from the recovery center come here all the time. 1121 01:23:32,716 --> 01:23:35,260 Cut! Be looking around more for like 1122 01:23:35,301 --> 01:23:38,054 you're waiting for the wait, wait. 1123 01:23:38,096 --> 01:23:40,390 You guys are great, I'm loving it. 1124 01:23:40,432 --> 01:23:42,267 Good job, everybody! 1125 01:23:42,308 --> 01:23:44,394 -OK, so we're gonna go to a medium shot-- -Then a medium. 1126 01:23:44,436 --> 01:23:47,313 -Then a medium on her then-- -A medium two shot, right? 1127 01:23:47,355 --> 01:23:49,149 -Yeah, yeah. Dirty frame medium, yeah. 1128 01:23:49,190 --> 01:23:51,026 And action! 1129 01:23:53,695 --> 01:23:58,366 I love the atmosphere right now, you know, everyone's in high spirits. 1130 01:23:58,408 --> 01:23:59,492 He's staying sober he's working through 1131 01:23:59,534 --> 01:24:04,748 his problems and you can see it in real life like he's not who he used to be, you know, and 1132 01:24:04,789 --> 01:24:07,500 for people to say, oh yeah, "once and addict, always an addict." 1133 01:24:07,542 --> 01:24:11,254 That's crap. Because I see so much in Cassidy. 1134 01:24:11,296 --> 01:24:13,715 It's about the best thing that ever happened to our family. 1135 01:24:13,757 --> 01:24:14,716 Placing the beer can down, 1136 01:24:14,758 --> 01:24:19,179 be a little bit more like, oh, you know, yeah, you don't wanna get caught! 1137 01:24:19,220 --> 01:24:22,265 Know what I mean, your mom's pulling up you're trying to go back home from rehab 1138 01:24:22,307 --> 01:24:24,642 and gotta beer in your hand. 1139 01:24:28,313 --> 01:24:30,148 Hold for sound! 1140 01:24:34,736 --> 01:24:36,613 Still holding. 1141 01:24:37,155 --> 01:24:41,284 -This is my new mom for the day. -Yes, we're taking selfies 1142 01:24:41,326 --> 01:24:42,869 Follow us on Facebook. 1143 01:24:43,411 --> 01:24:44,329 Oh, I think he's doing way better today. 1144 01:24:44,370 --> 01:24:49,250 Probably feels more comfortable, but you know hey, it was his first time. 1145 01:24:49,292 --> 01:24:51,628 Yeah first day jitters. 1146 01:24:58,259 --> 01:24:59,928 We're behind schedule. 1147 01:25:03,181 --> 01:25:05,642 OK we ready? Speed it! 1148 01:25:05,683 --> 01:25:06,976 OK here we go. 1149 01:25:07,018 --> 01:25:08,228 Scene four kilo, take two 1150 01:25:10,105 --> 01:25:12,148 And action. 1151 01:25:29,249 --> 01:25:31,918 He's gonna lay out a line on that toilet paper thing, right? 1152 01:25:31,960 --> 01:25:35,171 You wanna do a line? Is this supposed to be heroin? 1153 01:25:35,213 --> 01:25:37,465 -A line of heroin? -Yeah forsure 1154 01:25:37,507 --> 01:25:40,426 -I would, I would just do it in the palm of my hand, like. 1155 01:25:40,468 --> 01:25:43,847 -Wait what? -Confession time, guys. I have 19 years sober. 1156 01:25:43,888 --> 01:25:45,473 -Oh, wait really? -Yeah. 1157 01:25:45,515 --> 01:25:46,015 -Yeah! 1158 01:25:46,057 --> 01:25:48,268 -So if I were going to do that, -Yeah. 1159 01:25:48,309 --> 01:25:51,563 -It would just be in the web of my finger. -OK here we go. 1160 01:25:51,604 --> 01:25:54,107 -Camera speed. -Three take one, marker. 1161 01:25:56,568 --> 01:25:59,070 -Take two. -Action. 1162 01:26:08,621 --> 01:26:10,748 We're just trying to get this shot figured out. 1163 01:26:10,790 --> 01:26:13,710 The sun will be behind those trees in no time, so... 1164 01:26:13,751 --> 01:26:17,172 Like, we don't have till sundown, we have till sun hits those trees. 1165 01:26:17,213 --> 01:26:21,885 We're about to do probably like the biggest scene and the sun's going down, so... 1166 01:26:22,051 --> 01:26:24,679 I don't know how you do that without lighting, but it's fine 1167 01:26:24,721 --> 01:26:26,139 we'll figure something out. 1168 01:26:26,181 --> 01:26:28,266 Scene six bravo, take one. 1169 01:26:28,933 --> 01:26:34,147 A good majority of the people that are drug users, they have a lot of mental illness, 1170 01:26:34,189 --> 01:26:37,483 so it's not a fact of, they just wanna go take a pill to get high. 1171 01:26:37,525 --> 01:26:41,196 No, they're taking a pill because they've got anxiety or they're sad all 1172 01:26:41,237 --> 01:26:44,949 the time or they just don't feel like feeling like they feel every day. 1173 01:26:44,991 --> 01:26:49,829 Trying to find whatever you can to make yourself feel normal like everybody else. 1174 01:26:50,038 --> 01:26:53,166 Who are you to judge me? 1175 01:26:55,710 --> 01:26:57,086 I can get clean at home. Just give me-- 1176 01:26:57,128 --> 01:26:59,130 --You don't get it. 1177 01:26:59,964 --> 01:27:02,175 You're out of control. 1178 01:27:02,467 --> 01:27:04,844 Mom, do you see it? 1179 01:27:04,886 --> 01:27:07,931 Do you see it clearly now? This isn't Peter. 1180 01:27:07,972 --> 01:27:09,766 It's the drugs speaking. 1181 01:27:10,141 --> 01:27:14,479 It's always going to be the drugs. 1182 01:27:15,396 --> 01:27:17,565 -Cut -So good. 1183 01:27:17,941 --> 01:27:18,983 So good. 1184 01:27:19,484 --> 01:27:22,070 Like you're whispering it. "Do you love me? 1185 01:27:22,111 --> 01:27:24,822 Do your actions say you love me?" 1186 01:27:24,948 --> 01:27:29,035 Feeling anxious right now. We're definitely running out of day. 1187 01:27:34,040 --> 01:27:36,542 That's dark, and that should be blue sky. 1188 01:27:36,584 --> 01:27:40,588 I mean, this is like we're shooting back into what should be daylight, and it's dark. 1189 01:27:40,922 --> 01:27:47,095 It's like clear skies all around us, a few miles each way, and then just a 1190 01:27:47,220 --> 01:27:53,017 dark gray sky on top of us, so it might be about to pour. 1191 01:28:00,191 --> 01:28:02,151 I got it are you rolling? 1192 01:28:02,277 --> 01:28:03,945 Action! 1193 01:28:04,404 --> 01:28:07,532 -I just need her arms to be wiped. -Yeah. Wipe her arms! 1194 01:28:07,573 --> 01:28:12,704 You're just gonna step into the hug. Like all the way, just walk all the way to his belly. 1195 01:28:12,745 --> 01:28:14,664 -Still speeding! -Watch your shadow! 1196 01:28:14,706 --> 01:28:15,915 Here we go! 1197 01:28:16,165 --> 01:28:17,834 We don't have it? 1198 01:28:19,043 --> 01:28:20,378 Go, just try one! 1199 01:28:20,420 --> 01:28:23,589 Ready and move to the hug. Go Becky. 1200 01:28:23,631 --> 01:28:25,925 OK good, cut cut cut get out! Get out! 1201 01:28:25,967 --> 01:28:28,511 -Save the light! -Keep the cover on the camera! 1202 01:28:28,761 --> 01:28:30,596 You got an umbrella, got an umbrella! 1203 01:28:32,098 --> 01:28:33,433 What else goes, lights? 1204 01:28:38,021 --> 01:28:40,606 That's not good, we just lost Judy coming out with the donuts. 1205 01:28:40,648 --> 01:28:43,443 The headache in that moment. 1206 01:28:47,030 --> 01:28:49,449 Well, that's it. 1207 01:28:49,490 --> 01:28:51,784 We'll see if we can make it work. 1208 01:28:59,917 --> 01:29:07,633 I'm just holding on. I keep holding on. 1209 01:29:07,675 --> 01:29:15,641 I'm just holding on. Holding on, and I won't let go my faith. 1210 01:29:38,456 --> 01:29:42,919 Father God, we lift these men up to you tonight, father, we ask that you would continue to guide them. 1211 01:29:43,044 --> 01:29:44,921 Father, thank you so much 1212 01:29:44,962 --> 01:29:48,674 for these precious souls that you have redeemed tonight. 1213 01:29:48,716 --> 01:29:51,677 Cover them, oh God I pray. Use them, oh God I pray. 1214 01:29:51,719 --> 01:29:56,641 Position them, oh God I pray. Bless them, oh God, I pray tonight. 1215 01:29:56,682 --> 01:29:59,519 -In Jesus name, Amen. -Amen. 1216 01:30:30,925 --> 01:30:35,805 My brother hooked me up with this job, and I'm an electrician, a low voltage 1217 01:30:35,847 --> 01:30:40,143 electrician, which is something I never thought I would do. 1218 01:30:42,520 --> 01:30:44,897 What do I think God is like? 1219 01:30:48,234 --> 01:30:55,158 God is like a new person in recovery who has the light turned on for the first time 1220 01:30:55,199 --> 01:30:59,787 and realizes that they're not a piece of shit, 1221 01:31:00,204 --> 01:31:03,833 you know, that people love them. 1222 01:32:12,360 --> 01:32:16,656 Gotta deal with this, it's awesome. This is the start of dreams right here. 1223 01:32:24,997 --> 01:32:27,583 Welcome to first night at the Atlanta Film Festival 1224 01:32:27,625 --> 01:32:30,836 locals-only short film block. 1225 01:33:03,786 --> 01:33:06,872 There's a part of me that would like to just crawl in a hole and hide 1226 01:33:06,914 --> 01:33:10,001 because there's a part of, because basically, 1227 01:33:10,876 --> 01:33:13,546 I'm basically...I don't know... 1228 01:34:22,073 --> 01:34:23,491 Peter. 1229 01:34:24,116 --> 01:34:25,743 Do you love me? 1230 01:34:25,868 --> 01:34:29,622 Do your actions say that you love me? 1231 01:34:29,747 --> 01:34:35,086 From now on, my actions will match my love for you. 1232 01:34:35,127 --> 01:34:38,756 If you graduate, I'll be there to watch. 100261

Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.