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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:52,786 --> 00:00:54,188 (GROANING) 2 00:00:55,623 --> 00:00:59,127 Oh, honey, you don't look so good. 3 00:00:59,160 --> 00:01:00,661 You should stay home from brunch. 4 00:01:00,694 --> 00:01:02,363 Are you sure? Mmm. 5 00:01:02,396 --> 00:01:03,831 I really want to go. 6 00:01:03,864 --> 00:01:05,866 You stay and rest. 7 00:01:05,899 --> 00:01:08,636 You can see Grandma when we get back. 8 00:01:46,407 --> 00:01:48,842 Thank you, Videobarn dumpster. 9 00:02:16,404 --> 00:02:18,706 Wanna fuck me, baby? 10 00:02:18,739 --> 00:02:19,807 (KNOCKING ON WINDOW) Oh, yes. Yeah. 11 00:02:19,840 --> 00:02:21,675 You wanna fuck me? 12 00:02:26,780 --> 00:02:29,783 Hey, Erik. Do you know if your dad still has my clippers? 13 00:02:29,817 --> 00:02:32,720 I have no idea, Mr. Williams. 14 00:02:32,753 --> 00:02:35,689 All right. Go back to what you were doing. 15 00:02:37,425 --> 00:02:39,327 (LAWN MOWER WHIRRING) 16 00:02:39,360 --> 00:02:41,429 You wanna fuck me, baby? 17 00:02:46,234 --> 00:02:47,301 Yeah. 18 00:02:54,842 --> 00:02:56,844 (WOMAN MOANING) 19 00:02:58,412 --> 00:03:00,714 Yeah. Fuck me, baby. 20 00:03:00,948 --> 00:03:02,383 Yes, please. 21 00:03:04,017 --> 00:03:06,287 Oh, do me, baby. 22 00:03:06,320 --> 00:03:07,388 Honey. 23 00:03:07,421 --> 00:03:09,490 Yeah, just like that. 24 00:03:09,523 --> 00:03:12,893 Oh, yeah! So good, so good, baby. 25 00:03:12,926 --> 00:03:14,328 Oh, yeah! 26 00:03:16,497 --> 00:03:18,299 I told you I was paying. 27 00:03:18,332 --> 00:03:20,934 So what's the difference if you forgot the coupon? 28 00:03:20,968 --> 00:03:22,836 Honey, she doesn't like to waste money. 29 00:03:22,870 --> 00:03:25,005 There's no way I'm letting you pay full price 30 00:03:25,038 --> 00:03:28,809 when there's a two-for-one coupon sitting on the counter. 31 00:03:28,842 --> 00:03:29,843 I'll be right out. 32 00:03:29,877 --> 00:03:32,012 I'm coming, too. Now I gotta pee. 33 00:03:32,045 --> 00:03:32,980 I'll check on Erik. 34 00:03:33,013 --> 00:03:34,315 ERIK: Oh, yeah. 35 00:03:34,348 --> 00:03:36,317 Oh. Oh, that's good. 36 00:03:36,350 --> 00:03:38,486 You like that? I like that, too. Oh, yeah! 37 00:03:39,853 --> 00:03:40,854 HARRY: Here we go. 38 00:03:40,888 --> 00:03:41,955 MOTHER: Okay, Mom. 39 00:03:41,989 --> 00:03:43,891 Harder. Harder? Okay. 40 00:03:43,924 --> 00:03:45,293 Oh, yeah! So good. 41 00:03:45,326 --> 00:03:46,960 Like this? Yeah, right there, babe. 42 00:03:46,994 --> 00:03:48,462 Like this? Like this? Yeah. 43 00:03:48,496 --> 00:03:49,863 Baby, do me just like that. 44 00:03:51,299 --> 00:03:52,366 Okay, attagirl. 45 00:03:53,734 --> 00:03:55,769 From behind? Oh, yeah, baby! Harder! 46 00:03:55,803 --> 00:03:57,938 Okay. All right. 47 00:03:57,971 --> 00:03:59,840 You wanna cum for me, baby? Oh, yeah. 48 00:03:59,873 --> 00:04:01,875 Yeah? Cum for me, baby. I'm so close. I will. 49 00:04:01,909 --> 00:04:02,943 MOTHER: We're almost there. 50 00:04:02,976 --> 00:04:03,977 You're gonna cum for me? 51 00:04:04,011 --> 00:04:05,045 I'm about to. I'm about to. 52 00:04:05,078 --> 00:04:06,914 That's it, baby. 53 00:04:08,316 --> 00:04:10,384 (SCREAMING) 54 00:04:19,493 --> 00:04:21,261 Grandma. Grandma. 55 00:04:23,030 --> 00:04:24,598 HARRY: Grandma. 56 00:04:27,034 --> 00:04:29,570 ERIK: And that's the day my grandmother died. 57 00:04:29,603 --> 00:04:32,606 And it's pretty much the story of my life. But let me back things up a little bit. 58 00:04:40,080 --> 00:04:42,850 That's me. Not exactly the life of the party. 59 00:04:46,086 --> 00:04:47,821 That's my buddy, Mike Coozeman. 60 00:04:47,855 --> 00:04:51,825 Everybody calls him Cooze 'cause that's all he's ever interested in. 61 00:04:51,859 --> 00:04:55,095 Cooze is a self-proclaimed ladies' man and a legend in his own mind. 62 00:04:55,128 --> 00:04:56,497 Sometimes his methods are... 63 00:04:56,530 --> 00:04:57,998 (GROANS) 64 00:04:58,031 --> 00:04:59,533 questionable. 65 00:05:01,369 --> 00:05:03,371 Very smooth. 66 00:05:03,404 --> 00:05:05,506 Oh, please. I consider that foreplay. 67 00:05:05,539 --> 00:05:06,574 Where's Ryan? 68 00:05:06,607 --> 00:05:08,342 I don't know. 69 00:05:08,376 --> 00:05:12,480 Last time I saw him, he was dancing with Stacey and Shelly. 70 00:05:14,047 --> 00:05:16,850 ERIK: That's my best friend, Ryan Grimm. 71 00:05:17,518 --> 00:05:19,853 I don't know how he does it. 72 00:05:22,089 --> 00:05:25,125 See, I told you there was enough for both of you. 73 00:05:25,158 --> 00:05:26,860 He moved here in second grade. 74 00:05:26,894 --> 00:05:30,498 Believe it or not, back then, I was the one showing him the ropes. 75 00:05:30,531 --> 00:05:32,366 Now he's the quarterback of the football team, 76 00:05:32,400 --> 00:05:34,635 and the coolest guy in school. 77 00:05:34,668 --> 00:05:37,805 Hey, I brought you a vodka and ginger ale so it won't upset your stomach. 78 00:05:37,838 --> 00:05:40,107 Oh, thanks. 79 00:05:40,140 --> 00:05:43,977 That's Tracy, my girlfriend. Pretty hot, huh? 80 00:05:44,011 --> 00:05:45,546 We met in Biology, junior year. 81 00:05:45,579 --> 00:05:48,482 TEACHER: Now make the first incision into your frogs. 82 00:05:54,455 --> 00:05:55,523 Oh! 83 00:05:57,090 --> 00:05:58,792 I don't know what she saw in me, 84 00:05:58,826 --> 00:06:03,096 but when I finally got up the nerve to ask her out, she said yes. 85 00:06:04,998 --> 00:06:07,668 And for some reason, she kept going out with me. 86 00:06:09,169 --> 00:06:11,472 It's like she totally gets me. 87 00:06:13,474 --> 00:06:15,509 And I try my best to get her. 88 00:06:22,015 --> 00:06:24,585 Come on. Take the low one. It's easy. 89 00:06:26,119 --> 00:06:27,455 (SIGHING) 90 00:06:27,488 --> 00:06:28,922 Screw it. 91 00:06:31,124 --> 00:06:32,726 (HORSE NEIGHING) 92 00:06:34,628 --> 00:06:35,929 Oh! 93 00:06:39,467 --> 00:06:41,935 Are you all right? 94 00:06:41,969 --> 00:06:45,205 I don't know. Is it possible to break your ass? 95 00:06:45,238 --> 00:06:49,943 Okay, I promise I'll never make you ride a horse again. 96 00:06:49,977 --> 00:06:53,714 Looks like she's perfect, right? There's just one problem. 97 00:06:56,517 --> 00:07:01,622 Tracy's not ready to have sex yet, so that makes me a virgin. 98 00:07:01,655 --> 00:07:05,225 Now, being one of the only virgins in school is bad enough, 99 00:07:05,258 --> 00:07:07,427 but it's even worse for me. 100 00:07:09,029 --> 00:07:10,163 Yup. 101 00:07:10,931 --> 00:07:13,000 I'm a Stifler. 102 00:07:13,033 --> 00:07:15,503 My cousins are the legendary Stifler boys. 103 00:07:15,536 --> 00:07:21,241 Steve, his brother, Matt, and our other cousin, Dwight. 104 00:07:21,274 --> 00:07:23,744 You see, with my last name comes responsibility, 105 00:07:23,777 --> 00:07:26,647 a reputation that I'm supposed to live up to. 106 00:07:26,680 --> 00:07:30,183 Unfortunately, I've let down the family name on more than one occasion. 107 00:07:30,217 --> 00:07:31,719 What's your problem, Erik? 108 00:07:31,752 --> 00:07:34,755 Your cousin would've helped me steal this beer. 109 00:07:34,788 --> 00:07:38,526 Dude, a real Stifler would have totally fucked that goat. 110 00:07:38,559 --> 00:07:42,195 If you were really a Stifler, you would have nailed Tracy by now. 111 00:07:42,996 --> 00:07:44,131 ERIK: Stifler. 112 00:07:44,998 --> 00:07:48,736 My name, my legacy, my curse. 113 00:07:53,240 --> 00:07:56,076 I can't believe you killed your grandmother from jerking off. 114 00:07:56,109 --> 00:07:58,078 The coroner's findings were inconclusive. 115 00:07:58,111 --> 00:08:00,781 Why are you still whacking it to that dumpster porn? 116 00:08:00,814 --> 00:08:03,984 Yeah, why don't you just go on the Internet like a normal person? 117 00:08:04,017 --> 00:08:05,953 Well, because my mom put on that CyberNanny 118 00:08:05,986 --> 00:08:08,689 after you spent the entire night looking up German fetish porn. 119 00:08:08,722 --> 00:08:11,559 Man, you are pathetic. 120 00:08:11,592 --> 00:08:14,127 You know who I blame for this? Tracy. 121 00:08:14,161 --> 00:08:15,796 What? Why? 122 00:08:15,829 --> 00:08:18,298 Because, if she would just give up a little ass, 123 00:08:18,331 --> 00:08:22,703 then maybe you wouldn't be killing your relatives with your money shot. 124 00:08:24,805 --> 00:08:29,677 Erik, you cannot graduate a virgin. For Christ's sake, you're a Stifler. 125 00:08:37,284 --> 00:08:39,587 Hey, sweetie. How was your math class? 126 00:08:39,620 --> 00:08:42,022 It was all right. How was English? 127 00:08:42,055 --> 00:08:44,124 Pretty interesting, actually. 128 00:08:44,157 --> 00:08:46,026 You know that kid that I always tell you about? 129 00:08:46,059 --> 00:08:48,796 He was doing that pencil thing all... That's cool. 130 00:08:50,263 --> 00:08:51,632 You okay? 131 00:08:51,665 --> 00:08:53,133 Yeah, I'm fine. 132 00:08:54,702 --> 00:08:59,106 Erik, we've been dating for two years. I know when something's bothering you. 133 00:08:59,139 --> 00:09:00,507 Nothing's wrong. 134 00:09:00,540 --> 00:09:03,276 I don't know why you think you have this psychic ability to read me. 135 00:09:03,310 --> 00:09:06,747 Because I do. What is it? 136 00:09:06,780 --> 00:09:10,117 You're gonna think I'm an asshole. Let's just forget about it. 137 00:09:10,150 --> 00:09:13,621 Come on, Erik, you know you can talk to me about anything. 138 00:09:15,155 --> 00:09:16,590 All right. 139 00:09:21,662 --> 00:09:23,163 It's the sex. 140 00:09:24,364 --> 00:09:25,465 I mean, 141 00:09:25,498 --> 00:09:28,869 we've been together for two years. Two years, Trace. 142 00:09:28,902 --> 00:09:31,371 I mean, when we were juniors, it was one thing, 143 00:09:31,404 --> 00:09:33,173 but we're seniors now, and this whole virgin thing 144 00:09:33,206 --> 00:09:35,709 is starting to have some serious consequences. 145 00:09:35,743 --> 00:09:37,811 I mean, people are dying. 146 00:09:39,079 --> 00:09:40,748 I told you, I'm not ready yet. 147 00:09:40,781 --> 00:09:43,183 I am so ready. 148 00:09:43,216 --> 00:09:45,352 Can't I be ready enough for the both of us? 149 00:09:45,385 --> 00:09:47,354 It doesn't work that way. 150 00:09:47,387 --> 00:09:49,823 It should. 151 00:09:49,857 --> 00:09:52,259 I'm sorry, Erik. I know how patient you've been. 152 00:09:52,292 --> 00:09:54,695 I know. It's just sometimes... 153 00:09:55,162 --> 00:09:56,429 What? 154 00:09:56,463 --> 00:10:00,367 Well, you're a girl. It's a lot easier for you to be a virgin 155 00:10:00,400 --> 00:10:03,370 because the longer you stay a virgin, the more pure and innocent you seem. 156 00:10:03,403 --> 00:10:05,105 The longer I stay a virgin, 157 00:10:05,138 --> 00:10:08,375 the more I become the laughingstock of the entire school. 158 00:10:09,910 --> 00:10:11,812 I'm sorry, but... I mean... 159 00:10:11,845 --> 00:10:13,814 I'm sorry I brought it up. 160 00:10:13,847 --> 00:10:15,783 (BELL RINGING) 161 00:10:15,816 --> 00:10:17,885 I gotta go. I'll see you after school. 162 00:10:20,253 --> 00:10:21,221 Okay. 163 00:10:23,423 --> 00:10:24,692 Bye. 164 00:10:30,864 --> 00:10:33,801 I'm telling you, his dick was this big. 165 00:10:35,435 --> 00:10:37,838 NATALIE: What about Erik? I bet he's got a big one. 166 00:10:37,871 --> 00:10:39,873 Well, Tracy wouldn't know. 167 00:10:39,907 --> 00:10:42,309 Whatever. 168 00:10:42,342 --> 00:10:44,845 Yeah, I guess it's pretty hard to figure out dick size from dry humping. 169 00:10:44,878 --> 00:10:46,313 Brooke, that's mean. 170 00:10:46,346 --> 00:10:49,416 Just because I don't have a catalog of the school's dick sizes like you, 171 00:10:49,449 --> 00:10:51,384 doesn't mean I don't know a thing or two. 172 00:10:51,418 --> 00:10:54,421 Okay, so how big is Erik's? 173 00:10:57,190 --> 00:10:58,225 See? Told you. 174 00:10:58,258 --> 00:10:59,793 Come on, Brooke. 175 00:10:59,827 --> 00:11:01,428 It's not like that with us. 176 00:11:01,461 --> 00:11:03,931 I mean, Erik's different. He respects my boundaries. 177 00:11:03,964 --> 00:11:06,166 Well, you better give that boy a reason to stick around, 178 00:11:06,199 --> 00:11:08,902 or he's gonna find a girl with looser boundaries. 179 00:11:08,936 --> 00:11:10,270 Erik would never do that. 180 00:11:10,303 --> 00:11:12,205 Yeah, that's what you said about Trent. 181 00:11:12,239 --> 00:11:15,475 He broke up with you over sex, and that was sophomore year. 182 00:11:15,508 --> 00:11:19,412 Yeah, this just isn't gonna work without the sex. 183 00:11:19,446 --> 00:11:24,284 God, Trent is cute, and I heard he just broke up with Holly. 184 00:11:24,317 --> 00:11:28,789 Look, Tracy, we love you, and we love Erik, but let's get real. 185 00:11:28,822 --> 00:11:31,258 He's a guy, and guys have certain needs. 186 00:11:31,291 --> 00:11:35,162 They really do. It's like a caveman thing or something. 187 00:11:35,195 --> 00:11:38,766 Yeah, I can't believe you've kept him tied up this long. 188 00:11:39,800 --> 00:11:41,802 Hey, Erik, guess who I just talked to? 189 00:11:41,835 --> 00:11:42,936 Who? 190 00:11:42,970 --> 00:11:45,205 Your cousin Stifler up at Michigan. 191 00:11:45,238 --> 00:11:46,439 Why are you talking to my cousin Dwight? 192 00:11:46,473 --> 00:11:48,776 Oh, we talk all the time. 193 00:11:48,809 --> 00:11:50,310 What? We have a lot in common. 194 00:11:50,343 --> 00:11:52,245 What's that crazy bastard up to? 195 00:11:52,279 --> 00:11:56,249 He's in some fraternity, and all those guys do is drink and fuck. 196 00:11:56,283 --> 00:11:58,786 And it just so happens that they're throwing a monster party this weekend 197 00:11:58,819 --> 00:11:59,920 for the Naked Mile. 198 00:11:59,953 --> 00:12:01,021 What's the Naked Mile? 199 00:12:01,054 --> 00:12:03,023 Oh, dude, it's this thing where thousands of students 200 00:12:03,056 --> 00:12:04,758 run naked through campus. 201 00:12:04,792 --> 00:12:06,827 It's the way of blowing off steam after exams. 202 00:12:06,860 --> 00:12:08,896 Thousands of naked chicks? 203 00:12:08,929 --> 00:12:11,965 Stifler says that this party is gonna be epic. 204 00:12:11,999 --> 00:12:14,001 Bottom line is, this place is played out. 205 00:12:14,034 --> 00:12:15,502 High school's over for us. 206 00:12:15,535 --> 00:12:18,005 It's time to plant our flag in a new land. 207 00:12:18,038 --> 00:12:21,408 Porn, cumshot, dead grandmother, grounded for ever? 208 00:12:21,441 --> 00:12:23,844 Don't worry. 209 00:12:23,877 --> 00:12:25,979 Just tell your parents that, you know, you're thinking about going to school there. 210 00:12:26,013 --> 00:12:28,315 I don't know, man. Oh, please. 211 00:12:28,348 --> 00:12:30,918 Your mom cried when you told her you were going to school in Boston. 212 00:12:30,951 --> 00:12:33,386 She'll probably help you pack if she thinks it'll keep you close to home. 213 00:12:33,420 --> 00:12:35,355 I'll help you pack. 214 00:12:35,388 --> 00:12:36,790 I'll make sandwiches. 215 00:12:36,824 --> 00:12:37,825 Chicken salad? 216 00:12:37,858 --> 00:12:38,826 Of course. 217 00:12:38,859 --> 00:12:41,028 Are you gonna get a chance to see your cousin? 218 00:12:41,061 --> 00:12:43,997 Yeah. We might stop by and say hello. 219 00:12:44,031 --> 00:12:47,300 Now, there's someone you should definitely look up to. 220 00:12:47,334 --> 00:12:49,502 I bet he doesn't have time to blow his load on his family. 221 00:12:49,536 --> 00:12:51,371 Harry, please. HARRY: I don't understand. 222 00:12:51,404 --> 00:12:54,842 When I was your age, I was up to my neck in poontang. 223 00:12:54,875 --> 00:12:57,244 I didn't have time to spank my monkey. 224 00:12:57,277 --> 00:13:00,848 Thank you for that very disturbing image, Dad. 225 00:13:00,881 --> 00:13:04,417 I mean, Stiflers do not fake being sick to stay home and pull dick. 226 00:13:04,451 --> 00:13:05,986 We cut class to get ass. 227 00:13:06,019 --> 00:13:08,355 Yes, I know. That saying is on our family crest. 228 00:13:08,388 --> 00:13:10,290 Oh, don't let me forget to pack the Imodium AD. 229 00:13:10,323 --> 00:13:11,491 You know, just in case you get diarrhea. 230 00:13:11,524 --> 00:13:13,493 Mom. I am so excited. 231 00:13:13,526 --> 00:13:14,594 Aren't you excited, Harry? 232 00:13:14,627 --> 00:13:16,463 I'm very excited. 233 00:13:17,364 --> 00:13:19,266 Don't you get excited. 234 00:13:19,299 --> 00:13:20,533 ERIK: It worked just like you said. 235 00:13:20,567 --> 00:13:23,536 She's helping me pack, and she's even making us sandwiches. 236 00:13:23,570 --> 00:13:25,105 Chicken salad? Yup. 237 00:13:25,138 --> 00:13:26,473 Sweet. 238 00:13:26,506 --> 00:13:28,275 See, I told you. Never doubt me. 239 00:13:28,308 --> 00:13:32,880 RYAN: Man, this weekend is gonna be tits. I can't wait to see Stifler. 240 00:13:32,913 --> 00:13:35,883 Hey, how come you never call me Stifler? 241 00:13:35,916 --> 00:13:37,417 You're more of an Erik. 242 00:13:37,450 --> 00:13:38,618 (BEEPING) 243 00:13:38,651 --> 00:13:40,587 Hold on. 244 00:13:40,620 --> 00:13:42,355 That's Tracy. I'd better take it. 245 00:13:42,389 --> 00:13:43,390 All right, later. 246 00:13:46,493 --> 00:13:48,896 Hey, sweetie. Listen, about today, I'm really... 247 00:13:48,929 --> 00:13:50,964 Erik, I wanna have sex. 248 00:13:51,965 --> 00:13:53,400 Excuse me? 249 00:13:53,433 --> 00:13:55,869 TRACY: I wanna have sex. 250 00:13:55,903 --> 00:13:57,037 Are you serious? 251 00:13:57,070 --> 00:13:59,439 Absolutely. 252 00:13:59,472 --> 00:14:02,109 Do you have me on a conference call? Because if you do, that is so not cool. 253 00:14:02,142 --> 00:14:03,977 Erik, this isn't a joke. 254 00:14:04,411 --> 00:14:06,846 I want to have sex. 255 00:14:08,081 --> 00:14:10,984 Yes! Yes, yes. 256 00:14:11,451 --> 00:14:12,519 TRACY: Tonight. 257 00:14:12,552 --> 00:14:13,586 What? 258 00:14:13,620 --> 00:14:16,957 Tonight. I wanna have sex tonight. 259 00:14:16,990 --> 00:14:18,391 How am I supposed to get out of my house? 260 00:14:18,425 --> 00:14:19,927 That's up to you. 261 00:14:19,960 --> 00:14:23,563 But at midnight, I'll be in my basement 262 00:14:23,596 --> 00:14:25,198 waiting to be ravished. 263 00:14:25,665 --> 00:14:26,967 I'll be there. 264 00:14:49,122 --> 00:14:50,590 Hypocrite. 265 00:14:52,725 --> 00:14:55,595 So you get the beer and the weed, and I'll handle the nitrous. 266 00:14:55,628 --> 00:14:57,364 You got it. What's Erik bringing? 267 00:14:57,397 --> 00:14:58,598 Sandwiches. 268 00:14:58,631 --> 00:15:02,535 Nice. Chicken salad and college pussy. 269 00:15:02,569 --> 00:15:04,471 My favorite combination. 270 00:15:04,504 --> 00:15:06,039 Yeah, well, at least you'll get to taste the chicken salad. 271 00:15:06,073 --> 00:15:07,374 Ow. 272 00:15:07,407 --> 00:15:09,176 Hey, what do you think Erik's doing right now? 273 00:15:09,209 --> 00:15:12,445 Probably beating off to dumpster porn. 274 00:15:12,479 --> 00:15:15,615 No more beating off to dumpster porn. No more virgin jokes. 275 00:15:15,648 --> 00:15:18,051 Tonight, Erik Stifler becomes a man. 276 00:15:55,288 --> 00:15:56,990 Hi. Come on in. 277 00:16:05,265 --> 00:16:06,499 All right, listen. No. 278 00:16:07,167 --> 00:16:08,701 No talking. 279 00:16:13,273 --> 00:16:15,175 (SLOW MUSIC PLAYING) 280 00:16:35,095 --> 00:16:36,096 Wait. 281 00:16:36,129 --> 00:16:37,530 What? 282 00:16:37,564 --> 00:16:38,798 Did you hear something? 283 00:16:38,831 --> 00:16:42,635 No. Don't worry, my parents are passed out. 284 00:16:45,105 --> 00:16:48,041 Are you sure? You know how my stomach gets. 285 00:16:48,575 --> 00:16:51,144 Here, I'll help you relax. 286 00:17:05,792 --> 00:17:08,061 You brought something, right? 287 00:17:10,263 --> 00:17:12,332 Oh, shit. I left it at home. 288 00:17:14,167 --> 00:17:16,236 I can run back and get it. I'll be back in like five... 289 00:17:16,269 --> 00:17:18,771 No, no, don't worry. I've got one. 290 00:17:22,709 --> 00:17:25,245 Do you wanna put it on or should I? 291 00:17:25,278 --> 00:17:27,046 Let's put it on together. 292 00:17:44,897 --> 00:17:46,199 Are you ready? 293 00:17:47,167 --> 00:17:48,235 Yeah. 294 00:17:48,268 --> 00:17:50,103 (DOOR OPENING) 295 00:17:50,137 --> 00:17:53,273 Shit. Someone's coming. Quick, get behind the bar. Now! 296 00:18:03,250 --> 00:18:05,252 What are you still doing up? 297 00:18:05,285 --> 00:18:07,354 Honey, what are you still doing up? 298 00:18:08,321 --> 00:18:10,157 Yoga. 299 00:18:10,190 --> 00:18:11,558 I ate too much at dinner. 300 00:18:11,591 --> 00:18:12,825 Why don't you take an Alka-Seltzer? 301 00:18:12,859 --> 00:18:14,694 Alka-Seltzer is for babies. 302 00:18:14,727 --> 00:18:16,163 I just need a nightcap. 303 00:18:16,196 --> 00:18:17,397 (FARTING) 304 00:18:19,599 --> 00:18:20,867 Excuse me. 305 00:18:20,900 --> 00:18:23,303 Sounds like you could use an Alka-Seltzer. 306 00:18:23,336 --> 00:18:25,672 Daddy. Here, let me get you your drink. 307 00:18:25,705 --> 00:18:27,674 No, that's okay, honey. You go back to your yoga. 308 00:18:27,707 --> 00:18:29,576 No, Daddy, I really want to. 309 00:18:29,609 --> 00:18:32,645 Sweetie, I'm a grown man. I can make my own drink. 310 00:18:45,325 --> 00:18:46,326 (RUSTLING) 311 00:18:47,427 --> 00:18:49,128 What was that? 312 00:18:49,962 --> 00:18:51,231 What was what? 313 00:18:51,264 --> 00:18:53,166 I didn't hear anything. 314 00:18:53,200 --> 00:18:56,169 There was a noise coming from the laundry room. 315 00:19:25,865 --> 00:19:27,334 I must be hearing things. 316 00:19:27,367 --> 00:19:30,503 See, Daddy? I told you. Now, come make your drink. 317 00:19:30,970 --> 00:19:32,305 (FARTING) 318 00:19:33,840 --> 00:19:34,907 What the... 319 00:19:40,280 --> 00:19:41,814 (GROANING) 320 00:19:43,516 --> 00:19:45,318 (SCREAMING) 321 00:19:51,291 --> 00:19:52,825 You all right, baby? 322 00:19:52,859 --> 00:19:54,394 I'm fine, Daddy. 323 00:20:08,007 --> 00:20:11,344 Oh, that sick bastard took a shit in our dryer. 324 00:20:12,979 --> 00:20:14,781 I'm calling the police. 325 00:20:20,287 --> 00:20:21,888 (POLICE SIREN WAILING) 326 00:20:29,962 --> 00:20:32,399 Ryan? Ryan? 327 00:20:32,432 --> 00:20:34,467 Ryan, get up man. Ryan! 328 00:20:34,501 --> 00:20:36,336 What the fuck? 329 00:20:36,369 --> 00:20:37,937 It's me. It's Erik. 330 00:20:37,970 --> 00:20:40,907 Dude, why are you naked in my room? 331 00:20:42,575 --> 00:20:44,711 And with a rubber on your dick. 332 00:20:44,744 --> 00:20:47,914 Oh, yeah. Sorry about that. 333 00:20:47,947 --> 00:20:50,783 Look, I'm in serious trouble, okay? I need your help. 334 00:20:50,817 --> 00:20:51,918 (SNIFFING) 335 00:20:52,585 --> 00:20:54,787 What's that smell? 336 00:20:54,821 --> 00:20:56,889 Did you step in dog shit? 337 00:20:57,390 --> 00:20:59,826 Yeah. 338 00:20:59,859 --> 00:21:02,862 Hey, man, thanks for the clothes. I'll get them back to you. 339 00:21:02,895 --> 00:21:05,765 No, thanks. Why don't you just burn them? 340 00:21:05,798 --> 00:21:07,734 (POLICE SIREN WAILING) 341 00:21:07,767 --> 00:21:10,337 Wonder if I get a reward for turning you in. 342 00:21:10,370 --> 00:21:12,539 NEWSREADER: If the alleged improprieties are confirmed, 343 00:21:12,572 --> 00:21:15,007 it could be devastating for the White House. 344 00:21:15,041 --> 00:21:16,543 Sources near the administration would neither 345 00:21:16,576 --> 00:21:19,346 confirm nor deny the allegations. 346 00:21:19,379 --> 00:21:22,949 And in local news, a masked burglar broke into an area residence, 347 00:21:22,982 --> 00:21:27,086 defecated in the family's dryer, and then exposed himself to a teenage girl. 348 00:21:27,119 --> 00:21:28,788 Police are continuing the search, 349 00:21:28,821 --> 00:21:31,558 but the whereabouts and identity of the perpetrator is unknown. 350 00:21:31,591 --> 00:21:33,493 What is wrong with these people? 351 00:21:33,526 --> 00:21:35,027 And now, Dakota Snow with the weekend forecast. 352 00:21:35,061 --> 00:21:36,062 I don't know. 353 00:21:44,604 --> 00:21:45,905 You scared me. 354 00:21:45,938 --> 00:21:47,507 Sorry. 355 00:21:47,540 --> 00:21:49,008 Listen, about last night... 356 00:21:49,041 --> 00:21:52,512 Yeah, you know, I'd just really rather not talk about it. 357 00:21:52,545 --> 00:21:55,782 I really think that we should. 358 00:21:55,815 --> 00:21:58,551 Erik, you took a crap in my dryer. 359 00:21:58,585 --> 00:22:01,821 Your dad scared the shit out of me. 360 00:22:01,854 --> 00:22:03,122 Wait. You know, let's just... 361 00:22:03,155 --> 00:22:05,324 Let's forget about it, okay? 362 00:22:07,594 --> 00:22:09,996 Okay, but what about the other thing? 363 00:22:13,065 --> 00:22:15,101 The sex? 364 00:22:15,134 --> 00:22:17,970 I'm taking last night as a sign from above. 365 00:22:18,004 --> 00:22:19,572 But maybe... I mean, if your dad didn't come down... 366 00:22:19,606 --> 00:22:23,142 Erik, I love you. I'm just... 367 00:22:23,175 --> 00:22:24,911 I'm not ready yet. 368 00:22:25,144 --> 00:22:26,613 Really? 369 00:22:27,980 --> 00:22:29,616 Really. 370 00:22:29,649 --> 00:22:32,652 But I also realized just how ready you are. 371 00:22:33,853 --> 00:22:35,988 I don't wanna break up over sex. 372 00:22:36,022 --> 00:22:38,991 I don't think we have to. 373 00:22:39,025 --> 00:22:43,129 I'm not ready. You are. It's selfish for me to keep you tied down. 374 00:22:45,097 --> 00:22:47,600 So, this is what I'm proposing. 375 00:22:48,935 --> 00:22:51,404 A guilt-free pass for this weekend. 376 00:22:51,438 --> 00:22:54,607 That means you can do whatever you want up there 377 00:22:54,641 --> 00:22:56,943 with no consequences. 378 00:22:58,578 --> 00:23:00,847 You're sure about this? 379 00:23:00,880 --> 00:23:04,116 I don't think love and sex have to be tied to each other, 380 00:23:05,151 --> 00:23:07,620 so I'm okay with this. 381 00:23:07,654 --> 00:23:10,723 One weekend. Get it out of your system, 382 00:23:12,158 --> 00:23:13,726 and come back to me. 383 00:23:15,562 --> 00:23:17,396 Is this some kind of a test? 384 00:23:18,498 --> 00:23:19,699 Not at all. 385 00:23:27,507 --> 00:23:29,141 RYAN: ...and one of bomb beer. COOZE: Yes. 386 00:23:29,175 --> 00:23:30,477 See, this is perfect. 387 00:23:31,110 --> 00:23:33,145 Hey, we all set? 388 00:23:33,179 --> 00:23:34,614 I don't know. 389 00:23:34,647 --> 00:23:35,882 I told you he'd puss out. 390 00:23:35,915 --> 00:23:38,985 Tell me you at least brought the sandwiches. 391 00:23:39,018 --> 00:23:40,687 What's the problem? 392 00:23:40,720 --> 00:23:43,022 There is no problem. 393 00:23:43,055 --> 00:23:45,191 Tracy just gave me a guilt-free pass for the weekend, 394 00:23:45,224 --> 00:23:47,627 which means I can do anything I want. 395 00:23:47,660 --> 00:23:48,961 Anything? 396 00:23:50,162 --> 00:23:51,397 You mean... 397 00:23:51,430 --> 00:23:55,635 Yeah, she said that love and sex don't have to be linked. 398 00:23:55,668 --> 00:23:57,203 She wants me to get it out of my system. 399 00:23:57,236 --> 00:24:03,142 Dude, your girlfriend just went from the lamest to the coolest in one shot. 400 00:24:03,175 --> 00:24:05,144 You guys think it could be, like, some sort of a test? 401 00:24:05,177 --> 00:24:07,246 No, no. No, no. 402 00:24:07,279 --> 00:24:09,048 Tracy's a smart girl. 403 00:24:09,081 --> 00:24:10,717 She's mature enough to see that you're a man... 404 00:24:10,750 --> 00:24:13,185 Yeah. ...and you have certain needs. 405 00:24:13,219 --> 00:24:14,253 You think so? 406 00:24:14,286 --> 00:24:15,722 Absolutely. 407 00:24:16,956 --> 00:24:18,190 You're driving. 408 00:24:18,224 --> 00:24:21,761 Now get in the car so we can go get you some random pussy. 409 00:24:21,794 --> 00:24:25,532 Gentlemen, it's Friday afternoon, we've got a full tank of gas, 410 00:24:25,565 --> 00:24:28,000 a quarter ounce of weed, three cases of beer, 411 00:24:28,034 --> 00:24:30,202 a ten-pound tank of nitrous, we're underage... 412 00:24:30,236 --> 00:24:32,739 And I am too drunk to drive. 413 00:24:33,806 --> 00:24:34,707 Hit it. 414 00:24:35,808 --> 00:24:38,010 (HIGHWAY TO HELL PLAYING) 415 00:24:56,563 --> 00:24:59,031 You sure this shit's safe? 416 00:24:59,065 --> 00:25:02,669 It's as safe as any other chemical used to freeze-dry animals. 417 00:25:05,772 --> 00:25:07,574 Look at the size of that fucking chicken. 418 00:25:07,607 --> 00:25:08,675 Where? 419 00:25:08,708 --> 00:25:09,842 (TIRES SCREECHING) 420 00:25:11,744 --> 00:25:14,246 RYAN: Whoa, what the fuck? What fucking chicken? 421 00:25:14,280 --> 00:25:16,583 Relax, he's hallucinating. 422 00:25:17,684 --> 00:25:19,719 Are you out of your fucking mind? 423 00:25:19,752 --> 00:25:22,822 Yeah, Tracy. What were you thinking? 424 00:25:22,855 --> 00:25:25,291 But you guys told me I had to give him a reason to stick around. 425 00:25:25,324 --> 00:25:27,594 Yeah, you give him a reason, 426 00:25:27,627 --> 00:25:30,062 not give him a free pass to go have a weekend orgy. 427 00:25:30,096 --> 00:25:31,330 You've got to stop this. 428 00:25:31,363 --> 00:25:34,834 If he has sex this weekend, what do you think's gonna happen? 429 00:25:34,867 --> 00:25:36,268 That it will get it out of his system. 430 00:25:36,302 --> 00:25:38,137 Oh, yeah. That's how it works. 431 00:25:38,170 --> 00:25:40,306 He's gonna go from getting laid back to dry humping. 432 00:25:40,339 --> 00:25:42,274 It's pretty risky, Tracy. 433 00:25:42,308 --> 00:25:46,646 Risky? It's a fucking Pandora's box, literally. 434 00:25:46,679 --> 00:25:51,150 And once he's felt the soft pink velvet on the inside of the box, 435 00:25:51,183 --> 00:25:54,687 he's not gonna go back to rubbing his dick on the outside of the lid. 436 00:25:54,721 --> 00:25:56,589 Never thought of it like that. 437 00:25:56,623 --> 00:25:58,825 Tracy, men are like dogs 438 00:25:58,858 --> 00:26:01,661 that run around and hump anything they see. 439 00:26:01,694 --> 00:26:04,764 Now go and get your dog back on its leash. 440 00:26:21,347 --> 00:26:23,215 (CELL PHONE BUZZING) 441 00:26:27,854 --> 00:26:29,321 Come on, Erik. 442 00:26:35,828 --> 00:26:37,930 I knew it was too good to be true. 443 00:26:43,770 --> 00:26:46,372 Sorry, kids. It's for the best. 444 00:27:13,265 --> 00:27:14,366 Tracy? 445 00:27:15,334 --> 00:27:16,703 Oh, Mr. Levenstein. 446 00:27:16,736 --> 00:27:17,904 Hi. Hi. 447 00:27:17,937 --> 00:27:19,839 You're back for more yoga. 448 00:27:19,872 --> 00:27:21,340 Well, my wife is hooked on it, 449 00:27:21,373 --> 00:27:26,412 and she thinks if I can be a little more flexible, we can try some new... 450 00:27:28,180 --> 00:27:31,784 Have you ever heard of a book called the Kama Sutra? 451 00:27:33,753 --> 00:27:35,254 No. 452 00:27:35,287 --> 00:27:37,389 Oh, well, my wife just got it, 453 00:27:37,423 --> 00:27:40,960 and there's some stuff in there that requires some serious stretching, 454 00:27:40,993 --> 00:27:43,830 if you know what I mean. 455 00:27:43,863 --> 00:27:47,466 Are you okay, honey? You look a little upset. 456 00:27:47,499 --> 00:27:50,336 Oh, you know, just some boyfriend stuff. 457 00:27:50,369 --> 00:27:53,339 Oh, boyfriend stuff. 458 00:27:53,372 --> 00:27:56,876 Well, if there's anything I can do. 459 00:27:56,909 --> 00:28:00,346 No offense or anything, but I don't think you'd understand. 460 00:28:00,980 --> 00:28:02,348 Oh, I see. 461 00:28:03,449 --> 00:28:05,785 You know, my son had his fair share 462 00:28:05,818 --> 00:28:09,722 of relationship/sexual/ 463 00:28:11,357 --> 00:28:13,760 pastry-related difficulties, 464 00:28:13,793 --> 00:28:19,732 and I think my advice helped him over the years. 465 00:28:19,766 --> 00:28:23,335 Well, do you have any advice for a girl dumb enough to give her virgin boyfriend 466 00:28:23,369 --> 00:28:26,438 a guilt-free pass for the weekend? 467 00:28:26,472 --> 00:28:29,876 I'm sorry, a guilt-free pass? 468 00:28:29,909 --> 00:28:33,179 That means he could do whatever he wants this weekend with no consequences. 469 00:28:33,212 --> 00:28:35,414 Oh my! 470 00:28:35,447 --> 00:28:39,251 Well, that certainly sounds progressive, 471 00:28:39,285 --> 00:28:43,856 and a safe bet on what is probably gonna be a humdrum weekend. 472 00:28:45,557 --> 00:28:48,494 He's at the Naked Mile this weekend. 473 00:28:48,527 --> 00:28:52,932 You gave your boyfriend a guilt-free pass to the Naked Mile? Are you kidding me? 474 00:28:52,965 --> 00:28:56,268 Tracy, the Naked Mile is insane. You... 475 00:28:56,302 --> 00:29:00,239 From what I hear. I wouldn't know from personal experience 476 00:29:00,272 --> 00:29:04,343 because I, you know, I have nothing whatsoever to do with it. 477 00:29:04,376 --> 00:29:07,246 But, look, Tracy, 478 00:29:07,279 --> 00:29:10,516 even if your boyfriend is at this Naked Mile, 479 00:29:10,549 --> 00:29:13,452 it doesn't mean he's gonna do anything. 480 00:29:14,854 --> 00:29:15,855 Really? 481 00:29:15,888 --> 00:29:18,925 Well, just because he can, doesn't mean he will. 482 00:29:20,359 --> 00:29:23,295 Relationships are all about trust. 483 00:29:26,398 --> 00:29:28,835 Yeah, I guess you're right. 484 00:29:29,568 --> 00:29:32,538 Well, namaste. 485 00:29:33,072 --> 00:29:34,340 Namaste. 486 00:29:52,424 --> 00:29:54,360 Hey, have you seen my phone? 487 00:29:54,393 --> 00:29:55,527 No. 488 00:29:55,561 --> 00:29:57,930 Maybe you left it back at school. 489 00:29:57,964 --> 00:29:59,866 No, no, I thought I put in my backpack. 490 00:30:03,602 --> 00:30:06,839 Hey, you wanna pull over at that stop up ahead? I gotta take a piss. 491 00:30:06,873 --> 00:30:09,141 Just piss in a can or something. 492 00:30:10,642 --> 00:30:12,845 Man, I could cut my dick on the lip. 493 00:30:12,879 --> 00:30:14,346 Well, piss out the window. 494 00:30:41,073 --> 00:30:44,143 Love that breeze off the lake. 495 00:30:57,056 --> 00:30:59,558 COOZE: This place is incredible. 496 00:30:59,591 --> 00:31:02,661 Just think, next year I'm gonna be going here. 497 00:31:02,694 --> 00:31:05,631 Yeah, thanks to Daddy and his alumni connections. 498 00:31:05,664 --> 00:31:08,600 Fuck off. I told you, I got in on my SAT scores. 499 00:31:08,634 --> 00:31:11,070 You scored five points above being legally retarded. 500 00:31:11,103 --> 00:31:12,939 (RYAN AND ERIK LAUGHING) 501 00:31:12,972 --> 00:31:15,441 Whatever. Still got in. 502 00:31:16,675 --> 00:31:18,644 Hey, why does it smell like piss back here? 503 00:31:21,647 --> 00:31:23,983 RYAN: This is it. Beta Delta Psi. 504 00:31:24,016 --> 00:31:25,952 ERIK: Is this the place? RYAN: Yeah. 505 00:31:25,985 --> 00:31:26,919 Cool. 506 00:31:28,955 --> 00:31:29,655 Whoa. 507 00:31:36,228 --> 00:31:37,629 What's going on here? 508 00:31:37,663 --> 00:31:39,431 I have no idea. 509 00:31:47,606 --> 00:31:50,977 ALL: Drink. Drink. Drink. Drink. 510 00:31:56,215 --> 00:31:58,184 Drink. Drink. Drink. Drink. 511 00:31:58,217 --> 00:31:59,118 Hold your drink! 512 00:32:03,189 --> 00:32:04,523 MAN: Whoa. 513 00:32:10,696 --> 00:32:12,531 MAN: Okay. 514 00:32:13,032 --> 00:32:14,400 Yeah. 515 00:32:18,237 --> 00:32:20,672 How you feeling there, Stretch? 516 00:32:21,173 --> 00:32:22,474 Little dizzy? 517 00:32:24,010 --> 00:32:25,677 'Cause guess what? 518 00:32:25,711 --> 00:32:29,648 Stifler can drink this shit all day long. 519 00:32:32,184 --> 00:32:33,585 (ALL CHEERING) 520 00:32:35,087 --> 00:32:36,488 ALL: Stifler! 521 00:32:37,789 --> 00:32:40,126 Your cousin is my hero. 522 00:32:41,227 --> 00:32:42,761 (MAN WHISTLING) 523 00:32:42,794 --> 00:32:45,464 All right, everybody freeze! Oh, shit. 524 00:32:45,497 --> 00:32:47,099 Campus security. 525 00:32:48,200 --> 00:32:50,002 Nobody takes another drink... 526 00:32:54,273 --> 00:32:57,543 ...till I got my bet down. I got $200 on Stifler! 527 00:33:02,214 --> 00:33:05,184 Spanky, you had me going, you silly son of a bitch. 528 00:33:05,217 --> 00:33:07,019 OFFICER: Let's do it. Do it! 529 00:33:07,053 --> 00:33:07,753 Yeah. 530 00:33:25,104 --> 00:33:28,140 You got steel nuts, my man. I'll give you that much. 531 00:33:28,174 --> 00:33:30,008 But you're no match for the Stif-man. 532 00:33:31,710 --> 00:33:33,579 Fuck you, Stifler. 533 00:33:35,247 --> 00:33:36,582 Yeah. 534 00:33:38,117 --> 00:33:39,285 Yeah. 535 00:33:42,721 --> 00:33:44,490 (ALL MURMURING) 536 00:33:44,523 --> 00:33:45,824 What's the matter, Boy Band? 537 00:33:45,857 --> 00:33:48,794 You need a little something to settle your stomach? 538 00:33:50,796 --> 00:33:52,298 (BELCHING) 539 00:33:55,667 --> 00:33:57,236 (PEOPLE LAUGHING) 540 00:33:57,269 --> 00:33:58,704 (BLOWING) 541 00:33:58,737 --> 00:34:01,173 Yeah, take in the Stifler essence. 542 00:34:01,807 --> 00:34:04,143 Mighty pungent. 543 00:34:04,176 --> 00:34:05,711 (ALL YELLING) 544 00:34:13,885 --> 00:34:14,986 Yeah! 545 00:34:15,020 --> 00:34:19,125 And still Heavyweight Drinking Champion of the World, 546 00:34:19,158 --> 00:34:24,163 Dwight "The Iron Liver" Stifler! 547 00:34:24,196 --> 00:34:25,664 (ALL CHEERING) 548 00:34:26,365 --> 00:34:29,601 I'm a bad motherfucker, baby! 549 00:34:34,673 --> 00:34:35,841 (ALL EXCLAIMING) 550 00:34:37,309 --> 00:34:39,211 He's okay. He's okay. 551 00:34:46,152 --> 00:34:47,853 Hey, cousin. 552 00:34:49,355 --> 00:34:51,323 How you doing? 553 00:34:51,357 --> 00:34:54,326 I'm fine, Dwight. Are you okay? 554 00:34:54,860 --> 00:34:56,262 Oh, yeah, I'm fine. 555 00:34:57,329 --> 00:34:59,265 I'm fine. 556 00:34:59,298 --> 00:35:02,834 Hey, I heard that you killed Grandma with your cumshot. 557 00:35:04,903 --> 00:35:06,272 That sucks, man. 558 00:35:11,743 --> 00:35:13,145 Should we take him to the hospital? 559 00:35:13,179 --> 00:35:14,880 RYAN: No, he'll be fine. 560 00:35:14,913 --> 00:35:18,850 He told me he does this, like, once a month. 561 00:35:18,884 --> 00:35:22,888 Okay, well, you guys keep an eye on him. I'm gonna go to the bathroom. 562 00:35:30,229 --> 00:35:31,897 (GIRLS GIGGLING) 563 00:35:39,805 --> 00:35:42,674 So, when are we gonna start partying? 564 00:35:42,708 --> 00:35:45,344 Oh, someone's feeling a little frisky. 565 00:35:45,377 --> 00:35:48,680 Let's just say I finally decided to live up to the family name. 566 00:35:50,782 --> 00:35:54,720 Stifler? We got a serious problem, man. 567 00:35:54,753 --> 00:35:57,823 Mike and the guys just got arrested trying to steal a monkey from the zoo. 568 00:35:59,658 --> 00:36:02,461 So what's the problem? Just take the money out of my bail fund. 569 00:36:02,494 --> 00:36:04,863 They're almost half our football team. 570 00:36:04,896 --> 00:36:07,799 We gotta put a team on the field, man, or we're done. 571 00:36:07,833 --> 00:36:10,369 Why? 'Cause we're already on probation. 572 00:36:10,402 --> 00:36:13,305 We gotta participate in every intermural event 573 00:36:13,339 --> 00:36:15,407 or we're kicked off campus, man. 574 00:36:15,441 --> 00:36:17,175 We're four guys short. 575 00:36:21,880 --> 00:36:22,781 I play football. 576 00:36:24,250 --> 00:36:25,951 I played freshman year. 577 00:36:27,819 --> 00:36:28,954 What about you? 578 00:36:29,955 --> 00:36:31,323 A little Nerf here and there. 579 00:36:31,357 --> 00:36:33,792 Good enough. Stifler? 580 00:36:33,825 --> 00:36:34,960 Mmm? 581 00:36:34,993 --> 00:36:37,796 Can you play? 582 00:36:43,869 --> 00:36:47,806 Don't ever 583 00:36:47,839 --> 00:36:49,908 ask if Stifler can play. 584 00:37:00,452 --> 00:37:01,753 I'm good. 585 00:37:04,990 --> 00:37:09,261 The team we're playing's been undefeated five straight years. 586 00:37:09,295 --> 00:37:11,497 These guys must be pretty serious. 587 00:37:11,530 --> 00:37:13,899 Fucking-A-right, they're serious. 588 00:37:13,932 --> 00:37:16,435 Lambda Pi Gamma. 589 00:37:16,468 --> 00:37:19,571 They're our arch rivals in everything: Sports, women, booze. 590 00:37:20,539 --> 00:37:23,442 These guys are fucking evil. 591 00:37:24,976 --> 00:37:26,011 MAN 1: Get ready! 592 00:37:26,044 --> 00:37:27,579 MAN 2: Come on! 593 00:37:28,079 --> 00:37:29,515 Down! 594 00:37:30,349 --> 00:37:32,884 Blue 42. 595 00:37:32,918 --> 00:37:33,952 They're midgets. 596 00:37:33,985 --> 00:37:34,953 Hut, hut! 597 00:37:38,924 --> 00:37:40,959 Don't let their size fool you. 598 00:37:40,992 --> 00:37:44,863 These guys are fucking animals. 599 00:37:44,896 --> 00:37:48,467 Did I do too much nitrous? A midget fraternity? 600 00:37:48,500 --> 00:37:52,971 Those rich midgets from those infomercials gave the school some huge grant, 601 00:37:53,004 --> 00:37:56,775 and started a school for the vertically challenged and a fraternity. 602 00:37:56,808 --> 00:37:59,411 And this is where every midget in America wants to be. 603 00:37:59,445 --> 00:38:00,479 Hot feet! 604 00:38:00,512 --> 00:38:01,580 DWIGHT: That's right. 605 00:38:01,613 --> 00:38:02,781 Breakdown. 606 00:38:02,814 --> 00:38:05,417 These guys are the best of the best. 607 00:38:06,552 --> 00:38:09,020 ROCK: Well, well, well. 608 00:38:09,054 --> 00:38:12,891 If it isn't the regular-size retards and Captain Retard himself. 609 00:38:12,924 --> 00:38:15,961 You ready to get your ass kicked again, Shitler? 610 00:38:15,994 --> 00:38:18,564 Get back to Oz there before you get your ass stomped, Toto. 611 00:38:18,597 --> 00:38:19,865 (LAUGHING) 612 00:38:19,898 --> 00:38:23,569 Toto was the dog, you fucking idiot. 613 00:38:23,602 --> 00:38:26,905 Lick my balls, big-wheel-riding, midget motherfucker. 614 00:38:26,938 --> 00:38:29,107 It's little person, fuck-nut. 615 00:38:29,140 --> 00:38:33,044 This year, I'm gonna take a chunk out of your other leg. 616 00:38:33,078 --> 00:38:34,380 You little... 617 00:38:34,413 --> 00:38:35,947 (ALL YELLING) 618 00:38:38,650 --> 00:38:41,620 You want it? You want it? Come on. Take it easy. 619 00:38:41,653 --> 00:38:43,389 Whoa. Whoa. 620 00:38:43,422 --> 00:38:45,023 Out of my way, assholes. 621 00:38:48,594 --> 00:38:50,596 ERIK: What's that guy's problem? 622 00:38:50,629 --> 00:38:53,365 That's Rock. He's fucking crazy. 623 00:38:53,399 --> 00:38:54,900 He plays dirty. ROCK: Out of my way, you fucking idiot. 624 00:38:54,933 --> 00:38:57,068 Last year, he bit a chunk out of my thigh. 625 00:38:57,102 --> 00:38:59,538 COOZE: Jesus! 626 00:38:59,571 --> 00:39:01,573 COOZE: Hey, his girlfriend's pretty hot. 627 00:39:02,908 --> 00:39:07,078 Yeah. And what's with that regular-size guy? 628 00:39:07,112 --> 00:39:11,349 Oh, it's Rock's cousin. They had to let him in. Legacy. 629 00:39:13,184 --> 00:39:15,921 What a douchebag. 630 00:39:16,688 --> 00:39:17,689 Can he play? 631 00:39:18,524 --> 00:39:21,593 No, he sucks. 632 00:39:21,627 --> 00:39:22,828 (WHISTLE BLOWING) 633 00:39:22,861 --> 00:39:24,530 Give me mini five! 634 00:39:24,563 --> 00:39:25,964 Go! Go! 635 00:39:25,997 --> 00:39:27,633 (PEOPLE CHEERING) 636 00:39:30,936 --> 00:39:32,137 Lick it. Lick it. 637 00:39:33,138 --> 00:39:34,105 Hey, keep your head up. 638 00:39:34,139 --> 00:39:37,008 Whatever, they're midgets. How bad can it be? 639 00:39:37,042 --> 00:39:38,376 (WHISTLE BLOWING) 640 00:39:46,151 --> 00:39:47,653 (SCREAMING) 641 00:39:48,153 --> 00:39:50,922 (GROANING) 642 00:39:50,956 --> 00:39:51,923 Holy shit! 643 00:40:01,633 --> 00:40:03,935 Keep your head up, bitch. 644 00:40:09,641 --> 00:40:13,111 I told you, man. Don't underestimate these little bastards. 645 00:40:14,980 --> 00:40:16,081 Down! 646 00:40:16,114 --> 00:40:17,683 Set! 647 00:40:18,049 --> 00:40:19,150 Hut! 648 00:40:23,054 --> 00:40:24,590 (WHISTLE BLOWING) 649 00:40:25,190 --> 00:40:27,092 (PEOPLE CHEERING) 650 00:40:37,536 --> 00:40:39,004 (WHISTLE BLOWING) 651 00:41:00,959 --> 00:41:03,128 (GROANING) 652 00:41:03,161 --> 00:41:04,996 (WHISTLE BLOWING) 653 00:41:21,747 --> 00:41:23,615 Beta! Come on! 654 00:41:23,649 --> 00:41:25,717 Let's go, fellas. Get on the line. 655 00:41:26,585 --> 00:41:28,219 Down! 656 00:41:29,054 --> 00:41:30,689 How you feeling, Stifler? 657 00:41:30,722 --> 00:41:33,124 I'm 6'1", Frodo. How about you? 658 00:41:37,128 --> 00:41:38,196 Hut! 659 00:41:41,132 --> 00:41:42,701 (SCREAMING) 660 00:41:42,734 --> 00:41:44,603 The little fucker's biting me again. 661 00:41:45,203 --> 00:41:46,738 (SCREAMING) 662 00:41:51,610 --> 00:41:53,078 Not in my eye! 663 00:41:57,248 --> 00:41:58,817 (WHISTLE BLOWING) 664 00:42:01,753 --> 00:42:04,255 Funny, you don't look 6'1" from here, shit stain. 665 00:42:12,197 --> 00:42:13,799 (I WISH PLAYING) 666 00:42:34,152 --> 00:42:35,153 DWIGHT: God, 667 00:42:36,054 --> 00:42:38,256 I hate that fucking guy. 668 00:42:38,289 --> 00:42:40,091 I'm getting killed out there. 669 00:42:40,125 --> 00:42:41,192 I can't get loose. 670 00:42:41,226 --> 00:42:44,730 They're so fast and small. I don't know what to do. 671 00:42:44,763 --> 00:42:47,065 Quit crying, you bunch of bra-wearing pussies. 672 00:42:47,098 --> 00:42:50,769 I just got a hunk taken out of my leg. You don't hear me crying. 673 00:42:50,802 --> 00:42:52,503 All right, then, let's put our balls on the table. 674 00:42:52,537 --> 00:42:56,842 Let's go out there and show these little sons of bitches what being a Beta's all about. 675 00:42:56,875 --> 00:42:58,644 You understand what I'm saying, fellas? Yeah, yeah. 676 00:42:58,677 --> 00:43:01,146 All right, Beta on three. 677 00:43:01,179 --> 00:43:02,881 One, two, three, Beta! ALL: Beta! 678 00:43:04,115 --> 00:43:05,216 Down! Set! 679 00:43:06,151 --> 00:43:07,152 DWIGHT: Hut! 680 00:43:12,691 --> 00:43:13,759 Go! 681 00:43:17,696 --> 00:43:18,830 Go! 682 00:43:19,364 --> 00:43:20,832 (WHISTLE BLOWING) 683 00:43:23,735 --> 00:43:25,136 (ALL CHEERING) 684 00:43:43,354 --> 00:43:44,890 MAN: You little punk! 685 00:44:03,875 --> 00:44:05,443 (WHISTLE BLOWING) 686 00:44:05,476 --> 00:44:06,344 Yeah, yeah. Let's go, boys. 687 00:44:07,846 --> 00:44:10,248 All right, we got five seconds left, guys. 688 00:44:10,281 --> 00:44:13,218 If you're about to get tackled, lateral it to the nearest guy. 689 00:44:13,251 --> 00:44:15,220 It's our only chance. 690 00:44:15,253 --> 00:44:17,889 All right, let's go now. Come on, Beta on three. 691 00:44:17,923 --> 00:44:18,957 Beta on three. Who's with me? 692 00:44:18,990 --> 00:44:21,659 One, two, three, Beta! ALL: Beta! 693 00:44:29,968 --> 00:44:31,336 Down! 694 00:44:34,505 --> 00:44:36,808 Set! 695 00:44:50,455 --> 00:44:51,757 Hut! 696 00:44:52,824 --> 00:44:54,692 (MY HERO PLAYING) 697 00:45:26,224 --> 00:45:27,826 (WHOOPING) 698 00:45:32,330 --> 00:45:34,032 (ALL CHEERING) 699 00:45:46,411 --> 00:45:47,813 (GROANING) 700 00:45:52,951 --> 00:45:54,786 (WHISTLE BLOWING) 701 00:45:54,820 --> 00:45:56,387 (CHEERING) 702 00:45:58,289 --> 00:45:59,490 WOMAN: We kicked your ass! 703 00:45:59,524 --> 00:46:01,492 (GROANS) 704 00:46:01,526 --> 00:46:03,962 You're still my bitch, Stifler. 705 00:46:03,995 --> 00:46:05,096 Yeah! 706 00:46:06,297 --> 00:46:07,833 (WHISTLE BLOWING) 707 00:46:07,866 --> 00:46:09,367 MAN 1: Nice shot, man. MAN 2: Yeah. 708 00:46:16,607 --> 00:46:19,978 I can't believe we lost to midgets. 709 00:46:20,011 --> 00:46:23,081 Don't let those Oompa Loompa bastards get to you. 710 00:46:23,114 --> 00:46:27,385 Right now, we have more important matters to tend to, gentlemen. 711 00:46:27,418 --> 00:46:29,821 From what I understand, 712 00:46:29,855 --> 00:46:33,258 my cousin has a guilt-free pass 713 00:46:33,291 --> 00:46:36,461 to bang all the girls he can find. 714 00:46:37,028 --> 00:46:38,329 That I do. 715 00:46:38,363 --> 00:46:42,533 Oh, that is good news. 716 00:46:42,567 --> 00:46:46,371 Christ, for a while I was starting to think you were adopted. 717 00:46:46,404 --> 00:46:47,839 (STUDENTS CHATTERING) 718 00:46:47,873 --> 00:46:49,875 (HIP-HOP MUSIC PLAYING) 719 00:46:55,646 --> 00:46:57,048 Gentlemen, 720 00:46:58,449 --> 00:47:02,420 welcome to paradise. 721 00:47:10,361 --> 00:47:11,897 Boys and girls, 722 00:47:11,930 --> 00:47:14,900 we have a celebrity in our midst. 723 00:47:14,933 --> 00:47:18,569 The Heavyweight Drinking Champion of the World, 724 00:47:18,603 --> 00:47:22,440 Dwight "Iron Liver" Stifler! 725 00:47:22,473 --> 00:47:24,009 (ALL CHEERING) 726 00:47:30,949 --> 00:47:32,617 (WHOOPS) 727 00:47:32,650 --> 00:47:35,887 All right, you pussy-wipes, I'm gonna go find some lady friends. 728 00:47:35,921 --> 00:47:38,990 Try not to blow your wad in the first minute, huh? 729 00:47:41,492 --> 00:47:45,063 There is no way Allison's party was better than Jimmy's. 730 00:47:45,096 --> 00:47:47,465 You're nuts. Jimmy's party had two kegs 731 00:47:47,498 --> 00:47:50,468 and those two theater chicks went down on each other on the pool table 732 00:47:50,501 --> 00:47:52,437 in front of everybody. 733 00:47:52,470 --> 00:47:53,939 What the hell are you two talking about? 734 00:47:53,972 --> 00:47:54,872 What? 735 00:47:54,906 --> 00:47:58,143 Two kegs, theater chicks. Well, guess what? 736 00:47:58,176 --> 00:48:01,446 We're in a college bar full of unlimited booze and pussy, 737 00:48:01,479 --> 00:48:04,582 and we're sitting at the bar talking about high-school parties. 738 00:48:11,689 --> 00:48:15,193 Ryan? Ryan! What's your problem? 739 00:48:15,226 --> 00:48:17,062 That Great Falls attitude. 740 00:48:17,095 --> 00:48:19,397 All you guys do is talk about Great Falls 741 00:48:19,430 --> 00:48:21,466 like it's the end-all and be-all of existence. 742 00:48:21,499 --> 00:48:25,070 The place is a fucking trap, which is why I'm going to California. 743 00:48:25,103 --> 00:48:26,637 I'm not gonna get stuck like the rest of them. 744 00:48:26,671 --> 00:48:28,006 Yeah, I know. I think that's great. 745 00:48:28,039 --> 00:48:32,077 Yeah, but don't you see? That's what this weekend is about for me. 746 00:48:32,110 --> 00:48:34,145 What do you mean? To see if I can do it. 747 00:48:34,179 --> 00:48:37,648 If I can start over and accept being low man on the totem pole. 748 00:48:37,682 --> 00:48:39,150 Ryan, it's just a weekend, man. 749 00:48:39,184 --> 00:48:41,953 Maybe to you, but to me it's a lot more than that. 750 00:48:44,589 --> 00:48:46,057 Man, I sound like a chick. 751 00:48:46,091 --> 00:48:47,492 Mmm-hmm. 752 00:48:47,525 --> 00:48:48,994 I really need to go get some pussy. 753 00:48:49,027 --> 00:48:49,995 Yeah. 754 00:48:53,164 --> 00:48:54,399 Oh, shit. 755 00:48:54,432 --> 00:48:56,434 Oh, my God. I'm so sorry. 756 00:48:56,467 --> 00:49:00,038 No, no, no, no. It's fine. I can't believe I did that. 757 00:49:00,071 --> 00:49:01,506 Here, come with me. 758 00:49:02,240 --> 00:49:04,175 (STUDENTS CHATTERING) 759 00:49:04,209 --> 00:49:05,176 Quick, take off your shirt. 760 00:49:05,210 --> 00:49:06,978 Excuse me? 761 00:49:07,012 --> 00:49:09,147 Well, I just... I wanna get the stain out. Oh, yeah, right. 762 00:49:09,180 --> 00:49:10,648 I knew that. 763 00:49:14,185 --> 00:49:15,586 Are we allowed to be back here? 764 00:49:15,620 --> 00:49:17,188 Oh, yeah, don't worry. I used to bartend here. 765 00:49:17,222 --> 00:49:19,224 Cool. 766 00:49:19,257 --> 00:49:22,160 Look, I'm really, really sorry about this. Right. 767 00:49:24,729 --> 00:49:27,065 Accidents happen. 768 00:49:27,098 --> 00:49:29,534 I'm Brandy, by the way. I'm Erik. 769 00:49:29,567 --> 00:49:32,103 You know, any other frat asshole would bite my head off right now 770 00:49:32,137 --> 00:49:33,238 if I spilled a drink on him. 771 00:49:33,271 --> 00:49:34,505 I'm... 772 00:49:36,274 --> 00:49:38,043 I'm not in a fraternity. 773 00:49:38,076 --> 00:49:40,245 Oh, you're not? So you're independent? 774 00:49:40,278 --> 00:49:41,446 What's that? 775 00:49:41,479 --> 00:49:44,082 You know, a student who's not Greek. 776 00:49:44,115 --> 00:49:47,518 No, I'm just visiting for the weekend. I'm a senior in high school. 777 00:49:47,552 --> 00:49:48,586 High school? 778 00:49:48,619 --> 00:49:49,754 Yeah. 779 00:49:51,222 --> 00:49:53,158 (GIRLS LAUGHING) 780 00:49:53,191 --> 00:49:56,194 Really? Most girls slap me or kick me in the balls when I say that. 781 00:49:56,227 --> 00:49:58,163 Why? It's hysterical. 782 00:49:58,196 --> 00:50:00,565 That's what I say. What are your names? 783 00:50:00,598 --> 00:50:02,467 I'm Jill and this is Alexis. 784 00:50:02,500 --> 00:50:05,303 Hey, this is my buddy Ryan. 785 00:50:05,336 --> 00:50:06,704 Hey, Ryan. Hey, Ryan. 786 00:50:06,737 --> 00:50:09,107 Hey, ladies. 787 00:50:09,140 --> 00:50:13,544 Amnesty International. Is that some kind of rock band? 788 00:50:13,578 --> 00:50:16,614 It's an organization that works to protect human rights all over the world. 789 00:50:16,647 --> 00:50:17,782 Oh, yeah. 790 00:50:17,815 --> 00:50:20,118 MAN: Hey, get away from our dates. 791 00:50:21,086 --> 00:50:23,288 Down here, asshole. 792 00:50:23,321 --> 00:50:24,589 What the hell do you want? 793 00:50:24,622 --> 00:50:25,723 Just what he said. 794 00:50:25,756 --> 00:50:28,226 For you two to get away from our dates. 795 00:50:28,259 --> 00:50:30,261 In your dreams, Willow. 796 00:50:30,295 --> 00:50:33,198 There is no way these girls are here with you. 797 00:50:35,200 --> 00:50:36,634 Are you? 798 00:50:38,803 --> 00:50:40,705 But why? They're cool. 799 00:50:40,738 --> 00:50:42,640 And sexy. 800 00:50:42,673 --> 00:50:44,709 You gotta be fucking kidding me. 801 00:50:44,742 --> 00:50:45,610 (GROANS) 802 00:50:45,643 --> 00:50:48,246 Ain't nobody kidding around here, punk. 803 00:50:48,279 --> 00:50:50,281 If you got a problem, we could settle this right here. 804 00:50:50,315 --> 00:50:51,816 Oh, I would love to. 805 00:50:51,849 --> 00:50:54,752 Okay, stop it, you guys. 806 00:50:54,785 --> 00:50:59,056 Listen, it was really nice meeting you two, but we're spoken for tonight. 807 00:50:59,857 --> 00:51:02,059 Come on, baby, let's dance. 808 00:51:13,171 --> 00:51:15,072 That did not just happen. 809 00:51:19,710 --> 00:51:23,748 Time for a Stifler blowjob! 810 00:51:26,851 --> 00:51:31,689 Oh, get sexy, ladies, I love it. Oh, I feel a stirring in my loins. 811 00:51:36,861 --> 00:51:38,663 You've gotta meet my roommate. 812 00:51:40,331 --> 00:51:43,268 I would love to. 813 00:51:43,301 --> 00:51:46,171 Dude, the fucking midgets just stole our women. 814 00:51:46,204 --> 00:51:47,438 RYAN: Yeah, those fuckers are out of hand. 815 00:51:47,472 --> 00:51:53,178 I told you guys, don't underestimate those little bastards. 816 00:51:53,211 --> 00:51:56,447 That midget quarterback stole my girlfriend last year. 817 00:51:58,783 --> 00:51:59,650 Slut! 818 00:51:59,684 --> 00:52:01,786 ROCK: Out of my way, you fucking idiot. 819 00:52:03,954 --> 00:52:06,724 Holy shit! 820 00:52:06,757 --> 00:52:10,161 I thought this place had a no-loser policy. What are you assholes doing here? 821 00:52:10,195 --> 00:52:11,696 Fuck off, Mighty Mouse. 822 00:52:11,729 --> 00:52:15,366 Man, don't take it out on me because your ladies like it short and thick, 823 00:52:15,400 --> 00:52:17,402 rather than tall and skinny. 824 00:52:20,805 --> 00:52:24,742 Rock, don't you know, baby? This bar is like a roller coaster. 825 00:52:24,775 --> 00:52:25,943 Yeah, it has a height requirement, 826 00:52:25,976 --> 00:52:30,348 and I'm afraid you just don't measure up! Motherfucker. 827 00:52:31,949 --> 00:52:34,452 Easy! Easy! Easy! Whoa! 828 00:52:34,485 --> 00:52:35,920 This isn't over, Shitler. 829 00:52:35,953 --> 00:52:37,755 Oh, you got that right! 830 00:52:39,657 --> 00:52:42,427 Never get in my way, woman. 831 00:52:50,701 --> 00:52:51,902 What's up? 832 00:52:56,941 --> 00:52:58,309 Bitch. 833 00:53:00,945 --> 00:53:02,380 BRANDY: That did not happen. 834 00:53:02,413 --> 00:53:05,383 I swear to God, I was running through the streets with nylons on my head 835 00:53:05,416 --> 00:53:07,852 and the condom still on. 836 00:53:07,885 --> 00:53:09,654 I can't believe I just told you that story. 837 00:53:09,687 --> 00:53:11,456 I think it's great. 838 00:53:11,489 --> 00:53:14,792 I mean, think of it this way, you'll never forget your first time. 839 00:53:14,825 --> 00:53:16,761 Well, it wasn't... 840 00:53:16,794 --> 00:53:17,928 Technically... 841 00:53:17,962 --> 00:53:19,764 Oh, no, wait. 842 00:53:19,797 --> 00:53:23,834 You mean you didn't even get to... He came down too fast. 843 00:53:23,868 --> 00:53:28,273 Thank you. Thank you for laughing at my misfortune. 844 00:53:28,306 --> 00:53:31,809 I think you're a sweetheart. And you're really cute. 845 00:53:32,877 --> 00:53:34,279 This is me. 846 00:53:35,780 --> 00:53:37,882 So, are you guys running the Mile tomorrow? 847 00:53:37,915 --> 00:53:41,419 I don't know. There's something about running naked down the street 848 00:53:41,452 --> 00:53:43,288 while you're still a virgin... 849 00:53:43,321 --> 00:53:44,922 Didn't stop you before. 850 00:53:44,955 --> 00:53:46,757 Touche. 851 00:53:46,791 --> 00:53:50,027 You never know, that virgin thing, 852 00:53:50,060 --> 00:53:53,331 it could totally change by the end of the weekend. 853 00:53:55,833 --> 00:53:57,402 Thanks for walking me home. 854 00:53:57,435 --> 00:53:58,869 Good night. 855 00:54:19,890 --> 00:54:22,793 What the hell happened to you last night? 856 00:54:23,894 --> 00:54:25,029 What's up, fellas? 857 00:54:25,062 --> 00:54:26,297 What's up? 858 00:54:26,331 --> 00:54:30,034 What's up is we got cock-blocked by some midgets at the bar. 859 00:54:30,067 --> 00:54:33,504 Cooze, never mind that. Where the hell were you? 860 00:54:33,538 --> 00:54:37,875 Well, Mother, if you must know, I was with a girl. 861 00:54:41,779 --> 00:54:43,581 Bullshit. What girl? 862 00:54:43,614 --> 00:54:46,351 Her name is Brandy. She's in a sorority and she's hot, 863 00:54:46,384 --> 00:54:48,619 and I'm supposed to meet her at the Mile tonight. 864 00:54:49,119 --> 00:54:51,389 Dude, I don't get it. 865 00:54:51,422 --> 00:54:55,860 We come to college, we get blown off by chicks for midgets, 866 00:54:55,893 --> 00:54:58,796 and you're hanging out with a sorority girl? 867 00:54:58,829 --> 00:55:01,366 What the fuck is going on here? 868 00:55:01,399 --> 00:55:03,901 So, what are you gonna do? 869 00:55:04,802 --> 00:55:07,838 What do you mean? He's gonna nail that chick. 870 00:55:09,374 --> 00:55:10,775 Aren't you? 871 00:55:10,808 --> 00:55:11,976 What? 872 00:55:14,479 --> 00:55:16,113 Yeah. 873 00:55:16,146 --> 00:55:19,550 Yeah, of course I will. I'm on a guilt-free pass, why wouldn't I? 874 00:55:19,584 --> 00:55:22,853 Why the hesitation, man? 875 00:55:22,887 --> 00:55:25,990 Oh, shit! You're not gonna do it. I said I'll do it. 876 00:55:26,023 --> 00:55:29,560 Erik, you've been given a gift from above. Don't fuck it up. 877 00:55:29,594 --> 00:55:30,861 I won't. 878 00:55:30,895 --> 00:55:32,062 Yes, you will. 879 00:55:32,096 --> 00:55:32,997 No. 880 00:55:33,898 --> 00:55:36,000 I... I gotta get out of here. 881 00:55:51,682 --> 00:55:53,050 (BEEPING) 882 00:55:55,886 --> 00:55:57,488 (PHONE RINGING) 883 00:55:57,522 --> 00:55:58,556 Hello? 884 00:55:58,589 --> 00:56:00,357 ERIK: Hey, it's me. 885 00:56:02,493 --> 00:56:04,094 Calling to see how you're doing. 886 00:56:04,128 --> 00:56:05,162 I'm fine, 887 00:56:05,195 --> 00:56:07,031 I'm just studying. 888 00:56:07,064 --> 00:56:08,065 Okay. 889 00:56:09,199 --> 00:56:10,435 Cool. 890 00:56:10,468 --> 00:56:14,639 So, did you guys decide if you're gonna run in the Naked Mile? 891 00:56:14,672 --> 00:56:18,476 No, not yet. But you know me, I'll probably just wimp out. 892 00:56:18,509 --> 00:56:19,910 I mean, you don't have to. 893 00:56:20,645 --> 00:56:22,947 Yeah, I know. 894 00:56:22,980 --> 00:56:25,115 Are you okay? I mean, you sound a little weird. 895 00:56:25,683 --> 00:56:26,651 I'm fine. 896 00:56:28,152 --> 00:56:30,955 I'm fine. I just wanted to call and say hello. 897 00:56:30,988 --> 00:56:35,593 Thanks, but you don't need to check in. I mean, go, have fun. 898 00:56:35,626 --> 00:56:37,962 That's what this weekend's all about. 899 00:56:39,229 --> 00:56:40,531 You're the greatest. 900 00:56:46,704 --> 00:56:48,405 (BIRDS CHIRPING) 901 00:56:52,510 --> 00:56:53,944 Erik Stifler. 902 00:56:57,648 --> 00:57:00,150 Hey, Mr. Levenstein. Hello, Erik, good to see you. 903 00:57:00,184 --> 00:57:03,921 Yeah. Wow, I haven't seen you since my parents' New Year's party, right? 904 00:57:03,954 --> 00:57:07,658 Yes, well, your folks really, really know how to ring in the new year. 905 00:57:07,692 --> 00:57:11,629 Look, I'm sorry about my dad giving you that wedgie in front of everybody. 906 00:57:11,662 --> 00:57:14,965 Well, your dad's been doing that to me since we were kids, 907 00:57:14,999 --> 00:57:17,468 and strangely enough, I enjoy it. 908 00:57:20,771 --> 00:57:22,973 So, what are you doing up here? 909 00:57:24,174 --> 00:57:27,077 Oh, well, I went to school here 910 00:57:27,111 --> 00:57:31,181 and, you know, I like to come back every now and then 911 00:57:31,215 --> 00:57:32,617 and check out the campus. 912 00:57:32,650 --> 00:57:37,021 That's the only reason I'm here. No other reason that I can think of. 913 00:57:37,054 --> 00:57:40,491 And what about you? What are you doing here? 914 00:57:40,525 --> 00:57:42,593 Actually, it's kind of personal. 915 00:57:42,627 --> 00:57:44,929 Oh. Well, say no more. Okay. 916 00:57:44,962 --> 00:57:46,096 Okay, listen, good seeing you. 917 00:57:46,130 --> 00:57:47,698 Yeah, for sure. 918 00:57:53,804 --> 00:57:56,206 Mr. Levenstein, you were a counselor 919 00:57:56,240 --> 00:57:58,275 at Tall Oaks Band Camp with my cousin, Matt, right? 920 00:57:58,308 --> 00:58:02,079 Yes. Yes, I was. And your cousin Matt needed some counseling... 921 00:58:02,112 --> 00:58:05,650 Yeah. ...I might add. I gave him some advice. 922 00:58:05,683 --> 00:58:08,753 Advice. Do you think I could 923 00:58:11,255 --> 00:58:13,658 confide something in you? 924 00:58:13,691 --> 00:58:16,226 Well, sure. Yes, Erik, anything. Anything. 925 00:58:16,260 --> 00:58:17,628 Okay. 926 00:58:18,262 --> 00:58:19,564 I'm a virgin. 927 00:58:19,597 --> 00:58:21,065 Okay, can I stop you there? 928 00:58:21,098 --> 00:58:24,134 You're a Stifler and a virgin? 929 00:58:25,703 --> 00:58:26,704 Yeah. 930 00:58:29,073 --> 00:58:33,210 Well, so you're a virgin. What's the big deal? 931 00:58:33,243 --> 00:58:37,648 Well, the other night, my girlfriend and I... We tried to, you know... 932 00:58:39,817 --> 00:58:43,253 Right. But her father came down before we had the chance to. 933 00:58:43,287 --> 00:58:45,790 So she changed her mind completely about the sex, 934 00:58:45,823 --> 00:58:48,759 but she gave me a guilt-free pass for the weekend. 935 00:58:48,793 --> 00:58:51,161 You got the guilt-free pass? 936 00:58:52,797 --> 00:58:54,832 What do you mean? 937 00:58:54,865 --> 00:58:59,804 Well, I mean, you've got the old guilt-free pass dilemma. 938 00:58:59,837 --> 00:59:01,739 Yeah. It's a tough one. 939 00:59:01,772 --> 00:59:03,841 I didn't think people your age knew about that kind of stuff. 940 00:59:03,874 --> 00:59:06,844 I believe I know more about this than you think. 941 00:59:08,746 --> 00:59:11,616 Good, because I just don't know what to do here. 942 00:59:11,649 --> 00:59:15,085 I mean, I've got this smoking-hot sorority girl all over me. 943 00:59:16,253 --> 00:59:19,624 Well, you know, my son Jim 944 00:59:19,657 --> 00:59:21,726 went through kind of a similar dilemma. 945 00:59:21,759 --> 00:59:23,661 He was going out with this very attractive 946 00:59:23,694 --> 00:59:26,030 foreign-exchange student named Nadia. 947 00:59:26,063 --> 00:59:29,133 Right, right, yeah. That's the one he blew his load too early with, right? 948 00:59:29,166 --> 00:59:30,635 Yes. Twice. 949 00:59:30,668 --> 00:59:31,802 Yes. Over the Internet. 950 00:59:31,836 --> 00:59:33,638 Yes, that's the one. Yeah. 951 00:59:33,671 --> 00:59:37,141 Well, blowing loads aside... 952 00:59:37,174 --> 00:59:38,275 Yeah. 953 00:59:38,308 --> 00:59:40,645 The next summer Nadia came to visit Jim at the beach, 954 00:59:40,678 --> 00:59:42,212 and he turned her down 955 00:59:42,246 --> 00:59:46,617 because he had fallen in love with Michelle, 956 00:59:46,651 --> 00:59:51,822 who he later married, and is now the mother of my grandchild. 957 00:59:51,856 --> 00:59:56,093 So you're saying I shouldn't hook up with this sorority girl? 958 00:59:56,126 --> 00:59:58,863 I'm saying I think only you know the answer to that, Erik. 959 01:00:01,431 --> 01:00:03,167 Well, gotta run. 960 01:00:06,303 --> 01:00:09,774 Oh, Erik, I was sorry to hear about your grandmother. 961 01:00:29,126 --> 01:00:30,795 Last night was amazing. 962 01:00:31,361 --> 01:00:33,731 Yeah, it was. 963 01:00:33,764 --> 01:00:36,834 The three of us should do it again sometime. 964 01:00:36,867 --> 01:00:38,235 Definitely. 965 01:00:40,404 --> 01:00:41,806 Definitely. 966 01:00:49,279 --> 01:00:53,217 Hey, buddy. You know how to get to Murray Street? 967 01:00:53,250 --> 01:00:56,353 Oh, yeah, man. Just go right down Maryland, down to... 968 01:00:57,187 --> 01:00:58,422 What the... 969 01:01:00,725 --> 01:01:01,926 What is this? Enter the Midget? 970 01:01:01,959 --> 01:01:04,795 It's little people, asshole. 971 01:01:06,230 --> 01:01:07,898 Come get some. 972 01:01:09,166 --> 01:01:11,335 Come get some, baby! 973 01:01:11,869 --> 01:01:13,670 (SCREAMING) 974 01:01:19,509 --> 01:01:21,445 (PANTING) 975 01:01:21,478 --> 01:01:23,413 Midgets jumped Stifler. 976 01:01:23,447 --> 01:01:24,915 What? What? 977 01:01:25,883 --> 01:01:28,485 The midgets jumped Stifler. 978 01:01:28,518 --> 01:01:30,220 He's in the hospital right now. 979 01:01:34,959 --> 01:01:36,426 Oh, shit. 980 01:01:36,460 --> 01:01:38,295 Holy shit. 981 01:01:39,396 --> 01:01:41,231 Man, he is fucked up. 982 01:01:42,299 --> 01:01:43,868 First Grandma, and now this. 983 01:01:43,901 --> 01:01:45,002 All right, we gotta get those fucking midgets. 984 01:01:45,035 --> 01:01:46,871 Yeah, man. 985 01:01:46,904 --> 01:01:49,907 Jesus, Ryan, keep it down, will you? I got a huge fucking headache. 986 01:01:49,940 --> 01:01:51,942 We thought this guy was you. 987 01:01:53,277 --> 01:01:54,378 Fuck, no. 988 01:01:55,245 --> 01:01:56,480 I don't know what happened to that pussy. 989 01:01:57,547 --> 01:01:59,750 Hey, man, what the hell happened? 990 01:01:59,784 --> 01:02:03,420 Rock and his boys jumped me, wearing all black and ski masks. 991 01:02:03,453 --> 01:02:04,688 Like I wouldn't know it was them. 992 01:02:04,721 --> 01:02:08,325 Are you all right? Are you gonna be able to run in the Mile? 993 01:02:08,358 --> 01:02:10,460 Doesn't look like it. 994 01:02:10,494 --> 01:02:13,931 Doc says the Stif-man's gonna be laid up for at least a couple of more days. 995 01:02:13,964 --> 01:02:16,200 Hey, don't worry. We will find those little fuckers. 996 01:02:16,233 --> 01:02:21,806 No. I appreciate it, okay? Stifler'll think of something. 997 01:02:21,839 --> 01:02:25,342 Now you guys are up here to do two things: Have fun, 998 01:02:25,375 --> 01:02:27,444 and run naked 999 01:02:27,477 --> 01:02:31,315 with hundreds of hot, big-breasted, horny women. 1000 01:02:31,348 --> 01:02:32,549 You understand? 1001 01:02:32,582 --> 01:02:34,318 Yeah. Yeah. 1002 01:02:34,351 --> 01:02:37,788 Good. Now get the fuck out of here so I can get some sleep. 1003 01:02:42,592 --> 01:02:45,062 Hey, Erik, stick around for a second. 1004 01:02:45,095 --> 01:02:46,330 Yeah. 1005 01:02:47,564 --> 01:02:50,434 Listen, I know what you're going through. 1006 01:02:50,467 --> 01:02:53,437 You do? Sure, yeah. I had the same problem 1007 01:02:53,470 --> 01:02:56,240 when I was in middle school. 1008 01:02:56,273 --> 01:02:59,443 But living up to the family name is not an easy thing, man. 1009 01:02:59,476 --> 01:03:02,046 Yeah. What did you do? 1010 01:03:04,414 --> 01:03:08,252 Well, I whipped out my dick in class, stole the principal's car, 1011 01:03:08,285 --> 01:03:09,887 and then I fucked a lunch lady. 1012 01:03:10,320 --> 01:03:11,889 Oh. 1013 01:03:11,922 --> 01:03:13,390 But, hey, that's me. 1014 01:03:14,391 --> 01:03:16,560 What do you think I should do? 1015 01:03:16,593 --> 01:03:21,098 It's not for me to decide or advise. You gotta figure that out on your own. 1016 01:03:21,131 --> 01:03:25,535 But I will say this. We got a pretty fucked-up family, 1017 01:03:25,569 --> 01:03:27,938 and it's nice having a guy like you around. 1018 01:03:31,441 --> 01:03:33,077 Now, seriously, go. 1019 01:03:34,344 --> 01:03:35,479 Okay. 1020 01:03:37,447 --> 01:03:39,383 (STUDENTS CHATTERING) 1021 01:03:44,354 --> 01:03:46,490 All I have to say is, 1022 01:03:46,523 --> 01:03:49,960 thank you, Dad, for getting my dumb ass into this school. 1023 01:03:55,933 --> 01:03:59,136 Gentlemen, we have officially arrived at our destination. 1024 01:04:09,579 --> 01:04:12,049 ROCK: Look who decided to show up. 1025 01:04:12,082 --> 01:04:14,051 I didn't think you guys would have the balls for this. 1026 01:04:14,084 --> 01:04:15,585 I guess I was right. 1027 01:04:15,619 --> 01:04:18,855 Check it out. They still got their clothes on. 1028 01:04:22,359 --> 01:04:26,897 Where is old Shitler? I guess the king of the Naked Mile didn't make it this year. 1029 01:04:28,065 --> 01:04:31,401 Nobody starts this fucking Naked Mile without me! 1030 01:04:31,969 --> 01:04:33,503 (ALL CHEERING) 1031 01:04:43,613 --> 01:04:47,551 The king has arrived! Bring out your titties! 1032 01:04:50,720 --> 01:04:54,691 You really think that little beating you gave me could keep me away? 1033 01:04:54,724 --> 01:04:57,627 You and the Lollypop Guild punch like a bunch of five-year-olds. 1034 01:04:57,661 --> 01:05:00,564 This is my fucking school. 1035 01:05:03,733 --> 01:05:06,103 Guys. 1036 01:05:06,136 --> 01:05:09,373 Right, screw those guys. We're here to have fun, right? 1037 01:05:09,406 --> 01:05:11,675 Oh, fucking-A-right, we're here to have some fun. 1038 01:05:13,210 --> 01:05:17,414 Hey, why the hell do you guys still have your clothes on? 1039 01:05:17,447 --> 01:05:19,149 Listen, Stifler, we were talking and... 1040 01:05:19,183 --> 01:05:21,218 Hey, Stifler. I like your IVs. 1041 01:05:23,120 --> 01:05:24,588 DWIGHT: Hello, ladies. 1042 01:05:25,689 --> 01:05:28,092 Looking sexy as always. 1043 01:05:28,125 --> 01:05:30,394 Heard you were in the hospital. 1044 01:05:30,427 --> 01:05:32,662 Just a little beating by a bunch of midgets. 1045 01:05:32,696 --> 01:05:34,431 Hey, Cooze. 1046 01:05:34,464 --> 01:05:38,035 Jill the Thrill. Back on the Cooze radar. 1047 01:05:39,003 --> 01:05:40,971 (IMITATING RADAR BEEPING) 1048 01:05:42,706 --> 01:05:43,707 Hey, Erik. 1049 01:05:44,574 --> 01:05:46,010 Hey, Brandy. 1050 01:05:46,043 --> 01:05:47,978 Ryan. Alexis. 1051 01:05:48,012 --> 01:05:50,080 So, you ladies ready to run this Mile 1052 01:05:50,114 --> 01:05:53,550 and get extra fucking sexy? 1053 01:05:53,583 --> 01:05:54,551 Hell, yeah! Hell, yeah! 1054 01:05:54,584 --> 01:05:56,253 What about you guys? 1055 01:05:56,286 --> 01:05:58,588 Yeah, what are you guys doing still dressed? 1056 01:05:58,622 --> 01:06:00,757 Well, we figured we'd just watch the Mile 1057 01:06:00,790 --> 01:06:02,559 and then meet you guys at the party afterwards. 1058 01:06:02,592 --> 01:06:06,163 That's too bad 'cause this Naked Mile is gonna be crazy. 1059 01:06:06,196 --> 01:06:08,665 Really crazy. Right, Brandy? 1060 01:06:08,698 --> 01:06:10,234 Absolutely out of control. 1061 01:06:27,551 --> 01:06:30,520 Yeah! That's what I'm fucking talking about, boys. 1062 01:06:30,554 --> 01:06:34,058 Set the cocks free! 1063 01:06:34,091 --> 01:06:36,126 Let's huddle up over here. Come on, fellas. 1064 01:06:37,227 --> 01:06:38,595 Cock huddle. 1065 01:06:38,628 --> 01:06:40,730 All right, bitch tits. 1066 01:06:40,764 --> 01:06:42,732 I got a little surprise for you fuckers. 1067 01:06:42,766 --> 01:06:43,767 What do you got? 1068 01:06:45,235 --> 01:06:48,272 Just a little pharmaceutical delight for later. 1069 01:06:49,573 --> 01:06:52,109 JACKSON: Stifler! You uncircumcised twat! 1070 01:06:52,142 --> 01:06:54,611 Jackson, you little-dicked motherfucker. 1071 01:06:54,644 --> 01:06:55,645 What is this? 1072 01:06:55,679 --> 01:06:57,214 It looks like some kind of E. 1073 01:06:57,247 --> 01:06:59,683 Should we take it now? He said save it for later. 1074 01:06:59,716 --> 01:07:02,152 Fuck that! I'm about to run naked through the streets. 1075 01:07:02,186 --> 01:07:04,054 I need all the drug-induced courage I can get. 1076 01:07:07,091 --> 01:07:08,725 I'm so glad you guys decided to run. 1077 01:07:08,758 --> 01:07:10,594 You must work out. 1078 01:07:10,627 --> 01:07:12,762 Yeah, well, I play football. 1079 01:07:12,796 --> 01:07:15,165 I love football players. 1080 01:07:15,199 --> 01:07:17,101 Did anybody ever tell you that you have a nice ass? 1081 01:07:18,202 --> 01:07:19,769 That guy's a prick! 1082 01:07:19,803 --> 01:07:22,038 Hey, Stifler, is this supposed to be some pretty good E? 1083 01:07:22,306 --> 01:07:24,108 What E? 1084 01:07:24,141 --> 01:07:26,042 The pills you gave us. 1085 01:07:26,710 --> 01:07:28,612 Oh, shit! You retards. 1086 01:07:28,645 --> 01:07:31,848 That's not E. It's that fucking four-hour hard-on drug. 1087 01:07:31,881 --> 01:07:33,817 Oh, shit. DWIGHT: I scored some at the hospital. 1088 01:07:33,850 --> 01:07:36,653 I thought you limp-dicked bitches could use some. 1089 01:07:36,686 --> 01:07:38,355 Oh, God. Holy fuck, you didn't... 1090 01:07:38,388 --> 01:07:40,624 Holy shit! 1091 01:07:40,657 --> 01:07:44,761 I don't think I can talk this one down, man. It's got a mind of its own. 1092 01:07:44,794 --> 01:07:48,165 Hey, do not run behind me. Okay? 1093 01:07:48,198 --> 01:07:50,700 It's... It's just that we thought that it was... 1094 01:07:50,734 --> 01:07:53,203 Honey, don't apologize. 1095 01:07:53,237 --> 01:07:55,372 Yeah, you guys are running with us. 1096 01:07:55,405 --> 01:07:59,676 Oh, man! This is going to be the best Naked Mile ever! 1097 01:07:59,709 --> 01:08:01,145 Good evening... 1098 01:08:01,178 --> 01:08:02,846 (FEEDBACK SCREECHING) 1099 01:08:03,580 --> 01:08:05,149 (BEEPING) 1100 01:08:05,182 --> 01:08:06,283 Who is that guy? 1101 01:08:06,316 --> 01:08:10,820 That is big, bad Noah Levenstein. 1102 01:08:10,854 --> 01:08:15,159 The craziest bastard this campus has ever known. 1103 01:08:15,192 --> 01:08:16,726 My bad. My bad. Welcome to the Naked Mile. 1104 01:08:16,760 --> 01:08:18,262 (ALL CHEERING) 1105 01:08:22,632 --> 01:08:25,202 Yes, you know, when I started this race many, many... 1106 01:08:25,235 --> 01:08:27,571 Christ, he started this whole thing back in the '60s. 1107 01:08:27,604 --> 01:08:30,774 ...many years ago. It was just... Just a passive protest. 1108 01:08:30,807 --> 01:08:34,811 Just a way to "stick it to the man," so to speak. 1109 01:08:36,246 --> 01:08:38,648 Right on. Right on. 1110 01:08:38,682 --> 01:08:42,419 But over the years, it's become somewhat less political. 1111 01:08:42,452 --> 01:08:45,855 And now, it's just 1112 01:08:45,889 --> 01:08:48,825 some sort of Roman orgy, 1113 01:08:48,858 --> 01:08:52,162 which I'm down with, by the way. 1114 01:08:52,196 --> 01:08:54,731 But let's keep one thing in mind. 1115 01:08:54,764 --> 01:08:59,336 This is about showing the world your youthful exuberance, 1116 01:08:59,369 --> 01:09:02,872 and your unabashed commitment to higher learning, 1117 01:09:02,906 --> 01:09:05,342 and having fun while you're doing it, 1118 01:09:05,375 --> 01:09:09,246 which is where the naked part comes in. 1119 01:09:09,279 --> 01:09:10,847 ALL: Yeah! 1120 01:09:14,918 --> 01:09:18,222 And being completely naked is, of course, 1121 01:09:18,255 --> 01:09:20,390 a perfectly natural thing. 1122 01:09:20,424 --> 01:09:24,228 There's not one part of one's body 1123 01:09:24,261 --> 01:09:26,463 one should be ashamed of, 1124 01:09:26,496 --> 01:09:31,301 be it one's pubic region 1125 01:09:31,335 --> 01:09:33,770 or one's breasts, 1126 01:09:33,803 --> 01:09:36,273 as in the case with you young ladies... 1127 01:09:36,306 --> 01:09:37,841 (ALL CHEERING) 1128 01:09:40,810 --> 01:09:43,847 ...and a couple of you young men. 1129 01:09:46,716 --> 01:09:49,953 But you should all just revel in the glory of being seen 1130 01:09:49,986 --> 01:09:52,422 as the people you are. 1131 01:09:52,456 --> 01:09:53,923 Incidentally, if anyone has anything... 1132 01:09:53,957 --> 01:09:55,859 Come on, let's fucking do this! 1133 01:09:59,496 --> 01:10:01,331 I second that motion, young man. 1134 01:10:01,365 --> 01:10:03,867 Okay, everybody ready. 1135 01:10:06,270 --> 01:10:07,871 Get set... 1136 01:10:37,434 --> 01:10:38,902 Still going? 1137 01:10:38,935 --> 01:10:40,904 You know it, baby. Hell, yeah! 1138 01:10:41,871 --> 01:10:43,840 You love the Boss Hogg! 1139 01:10:45,542 --> 01:10:46,976 (WHOOPING) 1140 01:11:00,957 --> 01:11:04,728 All right, yeah. Look at this. Look at all these teats. 1141 01:11:04,761 --> 01:11:08,765 I'm adrift in a sea of boobies, and my balls are scraping the pavement. 1142 01:11:08,798 --> 01:11:09,899 Oh, heads up. 1143 01:11:16,906 --> 01:11:18,475 Nice cocks. 1144 01:11:18,508 --> 01:11:20,510 Oh, you got that right, sexy. 1145 01:11:20,544 --> 01:11:22,846 Dude, you have serious issues. 1146 01:12:05,822 --> 01:12:08,024 Hey, naked people only! 1147 01:12:08,057 --> 01:12:09,459 (LAUGHING) 1148 01:12:42,125 --> 01:12:43,927 Are you all right? 1149 01:12:43,960 --> 01:12:45,829 I'm fine. 1150 01:12:45,862 --> 01:12:47,664 Come on, sweetie. Let's finish this thing. 1151 01:12:57,607 --> 01:13:00,677 I'm standing at the finish line of a very proud, but strange tradition 1152 01:13:00,710 --> 01:13:02,045 called the Naked Mile. 1153 01:13:02,078 --> 01:13:03,613 Ever year after exams 1154 01:13:03,647 --> 01:13:05,982 hundreds of students run a mile through campus 1155 01:13:06,015 --> 01:13:07,951 in nothing more than their birthday suits. 1156 01:13:09,553 --> 01:13:11,054 (LAUGHING) 1157 01:13:12,489 --> 01:13:15,191 This is the greatest thing ever! 1158 01:13:15,224 --> 01:13:17,527 Hell, yeah! 1159 01:13:17,561 --> 01:13:19,996 I can't believe we did this! 1160 01:13:20,029 --> 01:13:23,600 Yeah! Naked Mile, baby! 1161 01:13:23,633 --> 01:13:25,669 Beta House fucking rules! 1162 01:13:33,009 --> 01:13:36,946 Come on, marathon men. Let's get ready for the party. 1163 01:13:38,247 --> 01:13:40,149 I did it. I really did it. 1164 01:13:42,051 --> 01:13:44,754 Way to go, Coz. That's my cousin. 1165 01:13:46,523 --> 01:13:48,958 DWIGHT: Yeah, buddy! 1166 01:13:48,992 --> 01:13:51,094 Some people call it lewd behavior, 1167 01:13:51,127 --> 01:13:54,063 but the students say it's just a good way to blow off steam. 1168 01:13:54,097 --> 01:13:55,431 And maybe, 1169 01:13:59,503 --> 01:14:01,170 find love. 1170 01:14:01,204 --> 01:14:03,740 This is Hal Michaels, reporting from the Naked Mile. 1171 01:14:14,551 --> 01:14:16,620 (HIP-HOP MUSIC PLAYING) 1172 01:14:40,176 --> 01:14:42,779 Stifler has arrived! 1173 01:14:49,686 --> 01:14:51,487 (HOWLING) 1174 01:14:52,055 --> 01:14:53,757 Yeah! Yeah! 1175 01:14:55,058 --> 01:14:57,727 Holy shit! Is this even the same house? 1176 01:15:02,131 --> 01:15:05,101 I think I had a wet dream that started like this. 1177 01:15:05,134 --> 01:15:06,603 It's those guys. 1178 01:15:11,741 --> 01:15:13,109 And ended like that. 1179 01:15:13,142 --> 01:15:14,544 Wow, taking those pills 1180 01:15:14,578 --> 01:15:17,547 might just be the best thing you guys ever did for your social lives. 1181 01:15:17,581 --> 01:15:19,148 Oh, yeah. 1182 01:15:19,182 --> 01:15:21,050 You wanna dance? 1183 01:15:21,084 --> 01:15:24,654 Is my dick hard? Of course the Cooze wants to dance. 1184 01:15:24,688 --> 01:15:25,822 (SCREAMS) 1185 01:15:27,356 --> 01:15:29,559 Are you gonna dance, sexy? 1186 01:15:29,593 --> 01:15:31,795 Or are you one of those football players who's too cool to dance? 1187 01:15:31,828 --> 01:15:34,864 Oh, baby, they don't call me the White Shadow for nothing. 1188 01:15:40,303 --> 01:15:41,805 Come on, cutie. 1189 01:15:42,606 --> 01:15:44,107 What a bastard. 1190 01:15:44,140 --> 01:15:47,711 I told you to call off that stupid guilt-free pass. 1191 01:15:47,744 --> 01:15:50,213 I'm so sorry, honey. 1192 01:15:50,246 --> 01:15:52,616 Is there anything we can do for you? 1193 01:15:52,649 --> 01:15:55,051 No, I think I just want to be alone. 1194 01:15:55,084 --> 01:15:58,287 No way. We are not leaving you alone so you can beat yourself up. 1195 01:15:58,321 --> 01:16:01,190 Yeah, but I told him to do it. I mean, I can't get mad about it now. 1196 01:16:01,224 --> 01:16:04,227 Would you quit being so logical, Tracy? We're girls. 1197 01:16:04,260 --> 01:16:06,362 Boys should know better than to trust us to be rational. 1198 01:16:06,395 --> 01:16:07,330 It's not in our nature. 1199 01:16:07,363 --> 01:16:09,298 It's really not. 1200 01:16:09,332 --> 01:16:13,102 So, you are going to get dressed. 1201 01:16:13,136 --> 01:16:15,605 Then, we're going to Allison's party. 1202 01:16:15,639 --> 01:16:17,674 That will get your mind off of Erik. 1203 01:16:17,707 --> 01:16:19,643 I don't want to. 1204 01:16:19,676 --> 01:16:22,779 Well, you don't have a vote in this. Now get dressed. 1205 01:16:35,258 --> 01:16:38,695 Check out our boy. Think he's going to lose it tonight? 1206 01:16:38,728 --> 01:16:42,666 Nope. Bet he screws it up and ends up jerking off in the bathroom. 1207 01:16:42,699 --> 01:16:44,100 I'll bet 20 bucks says he nails her. 1208 01:16:44,133 --> 01:16:45,201 (SCOFFS) 1209 01:16:45,234 --> 01:16:46,636 Oh, you're on. 1210 01:16:49,873 --> 01:16:52,208 Hey, hard-on brothers. 1211 01:16:52,241 --> 01:16:55,311 Do you guys have any idea how much everybody here has been talking about you? 1212 01:16:55,344 --> 01:16:56,913 I was getting that feeling. 1213 01:16:56,946 --> 01:16:58,247 Yeah! 1214 01:16:59,382 --> 01:17:01,851 Okay, listen up, 'cause I got a plan 1215 01:17:01,885 --> 01:17:05,889 that's gonna make you guys legends. 1216 01:17:12,161 --> 01:17:14,197 Ladies and gentlemen! 1217 01:17:14,230 --> 01:17:18,802 Give a big Beta House welcome to Ryan "Steel Rod" Grimm 1218 01:17:18,835 --> 01:17:23,707 and Mike "Everhard" Coozeman! 1219 01:17:23,740 --> 01:17:25,709 Yeah, Cooze! 1220 01:17:25,742 --> 01:17:27,176 (ALL CHEERING) 1221 01:17:29,746 --> 01:17:33,116 Tonight is the dawning of a new era 1222 01:17:33,149 --> 01:17:35,284 in meaningless male competition. 1223 01:17:35,318 --> 01:17:40,223 The Heavyweight Hard-On Championship of the World! 1224 01:17:45,494 --> 01:17:48,264 For the first phase of the competition, 1225 01:17:48,297 --> 01:17:51,768 a bucket will be hung on the dong of each of our contestants. 1226 01:17:51,801 --> 01:17:54,904 That bucket will be filled with a pitcher of beer. 1227 01:17:54,938 --> 01:17:58,975 First person to drop the bucket is the loser. 1228 01:17:59,008 --> 01:18:00,476 (ALL BOOING) 1229 01:18:00,509 --> 01:18:02,812 So let the penis games begin! 1230 01:18:14,423 --> 01:18:17,794 Commence the pouring! 1231 01:18:24,200 --> 01:18:25,201 You like that? 1232 01:18:25,234 --> 01:18:26,836 Oh, yeah, baby! 1233 01:18:29,005 --> 01:18:30,406 (GROANING) 1234 01:18:44,954 --> 01:18:48,057 Oh, I am so sorry about that! 1235 01:18:51,961 --> 01:18:53,329 Still good. 1236 01:19:10,513 --> 01:19:12,816 Next competition. 1237 01:19:15,051 --> 01:19:17,787 The ring toss. 1238 01:19:17,821 --> 01:19:19,755 Let's have it, girls. Come on. 1239 01:19:24,260 --> 01:19:26,796 That's right! On that penis! 1240 01:19:26,830 --> 01:19:28,764 Come on, baby, just like Six Flags. 1241 01:19:31,534 --> 01:19:32,969 Wrong head! 1242 01:19:37,473 --> 01:19:39,075 Ring around the cocksy. 1243 01:19:41,310 --> 01:19:43,312 You needed an extra inch on that one. 1244 01:19:53,056 --> 01:19:54,557 Can you believe this? 1245 01:19:55,424 --> 01:19:57,060 Do not let Cooze win. 1246 01:20:01,564 --> 01:20:03,799 Next competition! 1247 01:20:10,039 --> 01:20:12,541 I got a nine-inch strike zone, baby. 1248 01:20:12,575 --> 01:20:14,944 You cocky prick. You can't miss it! 1249 01:20:20,884 --> 01:20:22,451 It's a hardball, son! 1250 01:20:22,485 --> 01:20:23,953 Hey, boner, boner, boner. 1251 01:20:24,320 --> 01:20:25,621 Swing, boner! 1252 01:20:25,654 --> 01:20:27,356 Deep center, baby! 1253 01:20:33,096 --> 01:20:34,931 Foul ball! 1254 01:20:49,012 --> 01:20:49,946 Bunt. 1255 01:21:00,957 --> 01:21:03,659 That is it. We're calling it a tie. 1256 01:21:03,692 --> 01:21:06,429 Your Co-Hard-on Champions of the World, 1257 01:21:06,462 --> 01:21:10,099 Ryan "Steel Rod" Grimm and Mike "Everhard" Coozeman! 1258 01:21:10,133 --> 01:21:11,901 (ALL CHEERING) 1259 01:21:26,983 --> 01:21:31,187 Fifty-six, fifty-seven, fifty-eight, fifty-nine... 1260 01:22:58,107 --> 01:22:59,475 BROOKE: Boys are a bad influence. 1261 01:22:59,508 --> 01:23:03,046 I mean, you have no idea what he's doing or who he's doing it with. 1262 01:23:03,079 --> 01:23:06,182 This guilt-free pass thing? Completely ridiculous. 1263 01:23:06,215 --> 01:23:10,153 The bottom line is this. You two will never be on the same level again. 1264 01:23:10,186 --> 01:23:14,023 You're a virgin and he's not. It's just not gonna work. 1265 01:23:14,057 --> 01:23:16,159 So, what? I'm supposed to break up with him? 1266 01:23:16,192 --> 01:23:18,994 No, but you need to get back on the same level. 1267 01:23:20,329 --> 01:23:23,099 You need to sleep with somebody. Tonight. 1268 01:23:23,132 --> 01:23:25,268 Brooke. Shut up, Natalie. 1269 01:23:25,301 --> 01:23:28,071 It's the only way. Imagine a month from now, 1270 01:23:28,104 --> 01:23:29,705 you decide to do it with Erik. 1271 01:23:29,738 --> 01:23:34,277 All you're going to be thinking is that he's already had sex with some other girl. 1272 01:23:34,310 --> 01:23:36,745 The relationship will not be equal unless you do this. 1273 01:23:36,779 --> 01:23:39,315 Oh, look. There's Trent. 1274 01:23:41,217 --> 01:23:43,052 (HIP-HOP MUSIC PLAYING) 1275 01:23:45,088 --> 01:23:46,322 Perfect. 1276 01:23:56,799 --> 01:23:59,368 Hey, cool. A pool table. Do you play? 1277 01:24:00,736 --> 01:24:02,538 Sometimes. 1278 01:24:02,571 --> 01:24:04,507 Well, what do you want to play? 1279 01:24:04,540 --> 01:24:05,841 I don't care. 1280 01:24:05,874 --> 01:24:10,613 Okay. Well, how about nine-ball? Look, nine-ball. 1281 01:24:10,646 --> 01:24:14,250 It's... It's easy. You just have to get the balls in order from one through nine. 1282 01:24:14,283 --> 01:24:18,754 I'll show you. I'll break right now. You'll be good at it. 1283 01:24:21,324 --> 01:24:22,825 Erik. Yeah. 1284 01:24:22,858 --> 01:24:24,227 (CRASHING) 1285 01:24:25,794 --> 01:24:27,196 Come here. 1286 01:24:42,578 --> 01:24:46,749 This is special to you, right? I mean, this weekend, this night? 1287 01:24:47,883 --> 01:24:49,685 Erik? Yes? 1288 01:24:49,718 --> 01:24:52,155 This is sex, not Shakespeare. 1289 01:24:53,922 --> 01:24:57,160 Are you sure you want to? Because I doubt I'll be very good. 1290 01:24:57,193 --> 01:25:00,196 Don't worry. I know how to handle guys like you. 1291 01:25:01,264 --> 01:25:02,698 Guys like me? 1292 01:25:02,731 --> 01:25:04,600 Virgins. 1293 01:25:04,633 --> 01:25:06,802 I can take care of virgins. 1294 01:25:08,271 --> 01:25:11,274 You mean, I'm not your first virgin? 1295 01:25:11,307 --> 01:25:13,376 I have a bit of a confession. 1296 01:25:14,677 --> 01:25:17,346 Some girls like blonds, some like muscles. 1297 01:25:18,714 --> 01:25:20,249 I like virgins. 1298 01:25:22,751 --> 01:25:24,853 Are you ready for a special night? 1299 01:25:27,323 --> 01:25:29,192 (HIP-HOP MUSIC PLAYING) 1300 01:25:41,470 --> 01:25:45,774 Hey there, beautiful. Didn't expect to see you here tonight. 1301 01:25:45,808 --> 01:25:48,444 I came to apologize. I heard about what happened, 1302 01:25:48,477 --> 01:25:52,215 and I wanted to let you know that I didn't know anything about it. 1303 01:25:52,248 --> 01:25:54,683 You're not just here to set me up? 1304 01:25:54,717 --> 01:25:57,886 I would never want to let anything happen to that gorgeous face. 1305 01:26:00,489 --> 01:26:04,227 You sure you're supposed to be dancing on enemy territory like this? 1306 01:26:04,260 --> 01:26:07,863 I dance where I want, with who I want. 1307 01:26:09,432 --> 01:26:11,234 I like your style. 1308 01:26:13,269 --> 01:26:14,837 And your ass. 1309 01:26:28,317 --> 01:26:30,686 You know, I don't usually go for 1310 01:26:30,719 --> 01:26:33,789 suburban, jock, Abercrombie clones, 1311 01:26:33,822 --> 01:26:36,725 but there is something about you. Yeah? 1312 01:26:36,759 --> 01:26:40,329 Well, I tend to have that effect on pacifist, vegan bisexuals. 1313 01:26:50,973 --> 01:26:53,976 This guy's got good taste. 1314 01:26:54,009 --> 01:26:57,313 You sure you're up for this after that little incident downstairs? 1315 01:26:57,346 --> 01:27:01,884 They don't call me "Everhard" because I've only got one bullet in the chamber. 1316 01:27:01,917 --> 01:27:04,420 But just to be sure... 1317 01:27:04,453 --> 01:27:06,789 Should you be taking more of that? 1318 01:27:06,822 --> 01:27:10,393 More? I didn't take it the first time. 1319 01:27:12,528 --> 01:27:14,797 You mean... That's right, baby. 1320 01:27:14,830 --> 01:27:17,266 We're gonna have a good time tonight. 1321 01:27:19,001 --> 01:27:23,839 Now get your worthless ass on the bed, you peasant. 1322 01:27:24,573 --> 01:27:26,041 Excuse me? 1323 01:27:26,074 --> 01:27:28,311 I said, get on the bed 1324 01:27:28,344 --> 01:27:31,046 you worthless peasant! 1325 01:27:31,079 --> 01:27:34,317 What is your problem? Whoa, what's that? What... 1326 01:27:34,350 --> 01:27:37,019 Oh, God! I said, get on the bed, 1327 01:27:37,886 --> 01:27:39,855 and I meant it. 1328 01:27:41,457 --> 01:27:44,893 Oh, yeah, baby. I get it. 1329 01:27:46,028 --> 01:27:47,796 And I'm into it. 1330 01:27:48,497 --> 01:27:49,998 Shut up! 1331 01:27:50,032 --> 01:27:51,534 (SCREAMING) 1332 01:27:53,035 --> 01:27:55,538 All right! All right! All right! 1333 01:28:13,489 --> 01:28:14,890 Brandy. 1334 01:28:16,058 --> 01:28:20,396 Look, I can't do this. I'm really sorry, okay? 1335 01:28:20,429 --> 01:28:22,498 I mean, you're really gorgeous and really cool, 1336 01:28:22,531 --> 01:28:24,800 and I'm sure that every single guy on this planet 1337 01:28:24,833 --> 01:28:28,036 would love to sleep with you, including me. 1338 01:28:28,070 --> 01:28:29,838 But I just can't. 1339 01:28:31,974 --> 01:28:33,409 I'm in love. 1340 01:28:36,912 --> 01:28:39,582 I hope this girl knows how lucky she is. 1341 01:28:39,615 --> 01:28:41,049 I seriously doubt that. 1342 01:28:52,628 --> 01:28:55,598 Got to say it again. It's a very nice surprise. 1343 01:28:56,899 --> 01:28:58,401 What can I say? I'm full of them. 1344 01:28:58,434 --> 01:28:59,635 So, what about Erik? 1345 01:29:00,836 --> 01:29:03,506 We're on a weekend guilt-free pass. 1346 01:29:03,539 --> 01:29:06,442 We can do anything we want. 1347 01:29:06,475 --> 01:29:08,444 Anything? 1348 01:29:08,477 --> 01:29:09,545 Anything. 1349 01:29:09,578 --> 01:29:10,979 I like the sound of that. 1350 01:29:27,996 --> 01:29:29,398 Is this your room? 1351 01:29:29,432 --> 01:29:31,700 Why, yes, it is, my diminutive goddess. 1352 01:29:33,569 --> 01:29:37,172 Good, because we are going to need 1353 01:29:37,205 --> 01:29:38,974 a little bit of privacy. 1354 01:29:43,579 --> 01:29:45,380 (MOANING) 1355 01:29:50,052 --> 01:29:54,122 That's it, you pathetic slave. Keep doing that. 1356 01:29:54,156 --> 01:29:56,925 Don't you think this is getting a little out of hand? 1357 01:29:56,959 --> 01:29:59,695 Oh, you haven't even seen "out of hand" yet. 1358 01:29:59,728 --> 01:30:01,664 I didn't mean we had to stop. 1359 01:30:01,697 --> 01:30:05,133 Oh, we're not stopping. We're just getting started. 1360 01:30:06,502 --> 01:30:08,203 You ready to get kinky? 1361 01:30:08,236 --> 01:30:10,138 Whoa, this isn't kinky yet? 1362 01:30:11,139 --> 01:30:12,675 Not even close. 1363 01:30:16,945 --> 01:30:18,647 What is that noise? 1364 01:30:20,649 --> 01:30:21,717 (MOANING) 1365 01:30:24,152 --> 01:30:26,054 (ENGINE SPUTTERING) 1366 01:30:26,088 --> 01:30:27,590 What the hell? 1367 01:30:33,629 --> 01:30:35,698 You got to be kidding me. 1368 01:30:56,218 --> 01:30:57,653 (HORSE SNUFFLING) 1369 01:31:05,127 --> 01:31:07,663 So, you wanna go upstairs? 1370 01:31:10,065 --> 01:31:12,735 Yeah, I do. 1371 01:31:20,242 --> 01:31:21,810 (DOORBELL RINGING) 1372 01:31:25,814 --> 01:31:27,650 (PANTING) 1373 01:31:27,683 --> 01:31:31,286 Hi, Mr. Sterling. Is Tracy home? 1374 01:31:31,319 --> 01:31:33,756 Hello, Erik. No, she's not. 1375 01:31:33,789 --> 01:31:36,692 She's gone to a party with Brooke and Natalie. 1376 01:31:36,725 --> 01:31:37,826 Oh. 1377 01:31:38,794 --> 01:31:42,064 Okay. Well, sorry to disturb you, then. 1378 01:31:42,097 --> 01:31:43,165 Have a good night! 1379 01:31:47,836 --> 01:31:49,705 Crazy little fucker. 1380 01:31:55,077 --> 01:31:57,613 We gotta find Tracy. We gotta find Tracy. 1381 01:31:57,646 --> 01:32:00,683 We gotta find Tracy. Where the fuck is Tracy? 1382 01:32:00,716 --> 01:32:03,786 I don't think sex has to be just one-on-one. 1383 01:32:03,819 --> 01:32:05,053 (HORSE NEIGHING) 1384 01:32:05,087 --> 01:32:06,589 What the hell? 1385 01:32:08,256 --> 01:32:11,293 Tracy! 1386 01:32:13,061 --> 01:32:13,796 Hey! 1387 01:32:17,666 --> 01:32:19,201 Trace! 1388 01:32:19,234 --> 01:32:20,703 What the hell are you doing here? 1389 01:32:20,736 --> 01:32:22,771 And on a horse! 1390 01:32:22,805 --> 01:32:24,840 Where's Tracy? I have to see her. 1391 01:32:24,873 --> 01:32:27,676 We think it's best if you just leave her alone. 1392 01:32:27,710 --> 01:32:29,277 What? Why? 1393 01:32:29,311 --> 01:32:32,615 Because we know about your little sorority slut. 1394 01:32:32,648 --> 01:32:36,752 What are you talking about? She saw you kiss that girl on TV. 1395 01:32:36,785 --> 01:32:40,322 Shit. Wait a second. So what? I was on a guilt-free pass. 1396 01:32:40,355 --> 01:32:42,891 Wake up, Erik. There is no such thing. 1397 01:32:44,192 --> 01:32:45,527 Where is Tracy? 1398 01:32:45,560 --> 01:32:49,231 Oh, we gave Tracy a guilt-free pass, and she's using it right now. 1399 01:32:53,235 --> 01:32:55,270 Tracy! Trace! 1400 01:32:59,808 --> 01:33:02,878 Hey, hey. Tracy Sterling. Have you seen her? 1401 01:33:02,911 --> 01:33:05,781 I think she went upstairs with Trent a little... 1402 01:33:06,248 --> 01:33:07,650 Tracy! 1403 01:33:09,217 --> 01:33:10,653 Tracy. 1404 01:33:15,090 --> 01:33:16,792 (WOMAN MOANING) 1405 01:33:16,825 --> 01:33:19,795 Trace, can you hear me? Are you in there? 1406 01:33:19,828 --> 01:33:22,865 Trace, if you can hear me, I am sorry. 1407 01:33:22,898 --> 01:33:24,900 I am really sorry about everything, okay? 1408 01:33:24,933 --> 01:33:28,370 I know you gave me this pass, but I didn't use it. 1409 01:33:28,403 --> 01:33:31,106 I mean I did use it, but it was only for a few seconds. 1410 01:33:31,139 --> 01:33:34,242 I couldn't go through with it, so I came here looking for you, okay? 1411 01:33:34,276 --> 01:33:38,246 Look, I don't care about the sex. I really don't. 1412 01:33:38,280 --> 01:33:41,383 It's not the most important thing. You are. 1413 01:33:41,416 --> 01:33:43,618 Trace, I love you. 1414 01:33:45,153 --> 01:33:46,822 Can you hear me? I love you! 1415 01:33:46,855 --> 01:33:49,391 Do you mind? I'm trying to get laid here. 1416 01:33:52,695 --> 01:33:54,396 TRACY: You rode a horse for me? 1417 01:34:03,806 --> 01:34:06,775 When I heard her, I thought... 1418 01:34:07,943 --> 01:34:09,845 I couldn't do it, either. 1419 01:34:13,415 --> 01:34:15,183 I love you, too. 1420 01:34:28,731 --> 01:34:30,398 (ALL CHEERING) 1421 01:34:42,978 --> 01:34:44,312 Should we? 1422 01:34:59,361 --> 01:35:01,930 (BIRTHDAY SONG PLAYING) 1423 01:35:37,299 --> 01:35:38,867 (VIBRATOR BUZZING) 1424 01:35:54,316 --> 01:35:56,351 I'm telling you, man. I parked the car right here. 1425 01:35:56,384 --> 01:36:00,055 Well, obviously, you didn't, because then it would be right here. 1426 01:36:00,956 --> 01:36:02,891 Where the hell is Erik? 1427 01:36:02,925 --> 01:36:06,361 Dude, I don't even know where my underwear is. 1428 01:36:08,263 --> 01:36:09,364 Somebody call a taxi? 1429 01:36:09,397 --> 01:36:11,233 Where the fuck did you go? 1430 01:36:11,266 --> 01:36:12,334 To get some breakfast. 1431 01:36:12,367 --> 01:36:14,336 Oh, sweet. I'm starving. 1432 01:36:19,541 --> 01:36:21,844 (GROANING) 1433 01:36:21,877 --> 01:36:23,278 I take it you guys had a good night. 1434 01:36:23,311 --> 01:36:25,347 Oh, completely out of hand, bro. 1435 01:36:25,380 --> 01:36:26,982 Where are the girls? 1436 01:36:27,015 --> 01:36:31,053 They all split this morning. Said they had to drive to State for some big party. 1437 01:36:31,086 --> 01:36:32,821 That must make you feel pretty special. 1438 01:36:32,855 --> 01:36:35,357 "Special"? Who cares about special? 1439 01:36:35,390 --> 01:36:37,492 All I care about is the sex. 1440 01:36:37,525 --> 01:36:41,930 And, baby, I had plenty. Yeah. 1441 01:36:41,964 --> 01:36:44,867 And just how out of hand was this sex, Cooze? 1442 01:36:44,900 --> 01:36:47,369 I don't wanna talk about it. Ever. 1443 01:36:49,938 --> 01:36:54,442 Speaking of which, did you seal the deal with that Brandy chick? 1444 01:36:56,979 --> 01:36:58,380 No. 1445 01:36:58,413 --> 01:37:01,016 I told you. Pay up. 1446 01:37:01,049 --> 01:37:03,952 But I did have sex with Tracy last night. 1447 01:37:08,123 --> 01:37:09,291 What are you talking about? 1448 01:37:09,324 --> 01:37:11,326 Tracy. 1449 01:37:11,359 --> 01:37:13,996 I drove home in the middle of the night, I ran out of gas, 1450 01:37:14,029 --> 01:37:17,032 stole a horse, rode over to Allison's party... 1451 01:37:17,065 --> 01:37:19,401 We had sex in the guest room. Whoa, whoa, whoa! 1452 01:37:19,434 --> 01:37:21,069 You stole a horse? Yup. 1453 01:37:21,103 --> 01:37:23,038 A real horse? Like the kind you ride and shit? 1454 01:37:23,071 --> 01:37:24,406 Yeah, a real horse. 1455 01:37:24,439 --> 01:37:26,074 That's fucking fantastic. 1456 01:37:26,108 --> 01:37:27,876 I didn't think you had the balls for something like that. 1457 01:37:27,910 --> 01:37:30,478 Neither did I. Where did you find a horse? 1458 01:37:30,512 --> 01:37:32,547 Are there horses in Great Falls? 1459 01:37:34,649 --> 01:37:36,118 Proud of you, 1460 01:37:37,052 --> 01:37:38,453 Stifler. 1461 01:37:40,022 --> 01:37:42,991 Thanks, man. I appreciate it. But call me Erik. 1462 01:37:52,134 --> 01:37:54,937 RYAN: So, how do you feel? Best night of my entire life. 1463 01:37:54,970 --> 01:37:57,405 COOZE: See you in a year, college pussy! 1464 01:38:13,455 --> 01:38:15,157 Mail call, bitches. 1465 01:38:16,724 --> 01:38:17,960 Scooter. 1466 01:38:19,027 --> 01:38:20,428 Scratchy. 1467 01:38:21,429 --> 01:38:22,664 Tripod. 1468 01:38:28,070 --> 01:38:29,171 What the hell? 1469 01:38:29,204 --> 01:38:30,638 What is it, man? 1470 01:38:31,539 --> 01:38:33,041 I don't know. 1471 01:38:45,020 --> 01:38:46,989 Smile for the camera, baby. 1472 01:38:55,563 --> 01:38:58,033 Oh, man. That is fucked up. 1473 01:39:01,069 --> 01:39:02,604 Stifler! 1474 01:39:03,438 --> 01:39:04,706 (MY HERO PLAYING) 101587