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1
00:00:54,013 --> 00:00:57,475
Hey, Stifler, how come
Steve got all the talent
in your family?
2
00:00:57,558 --> 00:00:59,310
Bite me, Fuck Face.
3
00:00:59,393 --> 00:01:01,228
Come on, man,
you're missing it.
4
00:01:01,312 --> 00:01:04,648
I've seen it a million times,
you fucking ass-booger.
5
00:01:04,732 --> 00:01:06,609
Matt, Steve is like
a filmmaking genius.
6
00:01:06,692 --> 00:01:08,569
A true American hero.
7
00:01:08,652 --> 00:01:10,196
The Tarantino of titties.
8
00:01:10,279 --> 00:01:12,656
Yeah, there's just
no way you could
ever be this good.
9
00:01:12,740 --> 00:01:14,325
Hey, look, I'm going to prove
to Steve
10
00:01:14,408 --> 00:01:17,578
that I'm up to
the standards of
the Stiffmeister Productions.
11
00:01:18,079 --> 00:01:20,289
After Steve sees
my directing talent,
12
00:01:20,414 --> 00:01:23,834
little bro's joining
the family business.
Is that what he said?
13
00:01:23,918 --> 00:01:28,089
He finally called you back?
No, but I left him
another message.
14
00:01:29,757 --> 00:01:33,010
He'll get back to me.
It's only been three weeks.
15
00:01:33,469 --> 00:01:38,432
Gentle-fucks, a toast.
Tomorrow, we begin
our reign as seniors.
16
00:02:41,453 --> 00:02:43,831
Okay, people,
let's take a break.
17
00:02:44,206 --> 00:02:46,917
Remember, we play this
at the end of the ceremony
18
00:02:47,001 --> 00:02:48,544
after Pomp and Circumstance.
19
00:02:48,627 --> 00:02:50,880
I don't want anyone starting
the wrong song again.
20
00:02:50,963 --> 00:02:54,008
Elyse, you need to relax,
girl.
I'm fine.
21
00:02:54,258 --> 00:02:57,052
I just... You know,
it's my first time up here,
and...
22
00:02:57,136 --> 00:02:59,847
Yeah, but it's graduation.
It ain't the Boston Pops.
23
00:03:00,055 --> 00:03:03,309
This performance sets the tone
for our senior year.
I mean...
24
00:03:03,392 --> 00:03:08,147
Look, you just remember
that everybody here
is pulling for you.
25
00:03:12,151 --> 00:03:14,111
Dork. Dork. Dork.
26
00:03:14,195 --> 00:03:15,654
Goose.
27
00:03:15,738 --> 00:03:18,657
I like them feisty.
What're you doing here,
Stifler?
28
00:03:19,366 --> 00:03:22,036
We just want to say sayonara,
and let you fuck-necks know
29
00:03:22,119 --> 00:03:23,579
we plan on winning
the state title
30
00:03:23,662 --> 00:03:25,456
now that the Stiffmeister's
running the show.
31
00:03:27,208 --> 00:03:31,212
Adiós, butt-hugger.
He's a bigger asshole
than his brother.
32
00:03:34,757 --> 00:03:36,592
Holy shit, Arianna.
33
00:03:37,509 --> 00:03:39,720
Matt, what're you
doing here?
34
00:03:39,887 --> 00:03:43,641
Oh, we just want to make sure
the seniors have
a very memorable last day.
35
00:03:44,225 --> 00:03:47,144
That's cool. So,
there's a campout tonight
36
00:03:47,228 --> 00:03:49,897
and it's only for the grads,
but you could come.
37
00:03:50,356 --> 00:03:53,484
Let me check my schedule.
Hell, yeah.
38
00:03:54,401 --> 00:03:58,239
Bring your sleeping bag,
in case we decide
to pitch a tent.
39
00:04:02,785 --> 00:04:05,079
Check it out.
Perfect timing.
40
00:04:05,162 --> 00:04:06,997
This is going to be classic.
41
00:04:07,706 --> 00:04:11,085
Time to initiate
Operation Gradu-fuck-uation.
42
00:04:14,129 --> 00:04:15,714
This is gonna be awesome.
43
00:04:15,798 --> 00:04:17,633
Shit.
Oh, yeah! Jackpot!
44
00:04:18,050 --> 00:04:19,677
Payback, seniors.
45
00:04:19,760 --> 00:04:21,804
Don't get that pepper spray
on your hands.
46
00:04:24,723 --> 00:04:27,101
A graduation gift
from the Stiffmeister.
47
00:04:31,188 --> 00:04:33,274
Dude, we should've
sprayed the diplomas.
48
00:04:36,068 --> 00:04:37,611
Sorry, bandies.
49
00:04:42,783 --> 00:04:46,704
Bite my nuts
and call me Skippy.
It's a Steely Dan.
50
00:04:46,787 --> 00:04:50,249
- A what?
- It's a double-headed dildo.
51
00:04:50,749 --> 00:04:52,710
It's a dildo. It's a dildo.
52
00:04:52,793 --> 00:04:55,212
Holy shit.
It's even got a name.
53
00:04:55,462 --> 00:04:56,630
Picardo.
54
00:04:56,797 --> 00:04:58,090
Picardo?
55
00:04:58,173 --> 00:05:01,385
Spray that shit.
Fuck, no. Finders keepers.
56
00:05:01,593 --> 00:05:03,721
Okay, everybody,
Pomp and Circumstance.
57
00:05:03,804 --> 00:05:05,097
Five-minute warning. Let's go.
58
00:05:05,180 --> 00:05:07,516
The bandies.
Let's get out of here.
59
00:05:11,770 --> 00:05:13,689
- Matt?
- Leesy.
60
00:05:15,274 --> 00:05:17,985
How they hanging?
Still small and perky, I see.
61
00:05:18,319 --> 00:05:19,611
That's funny.
62
00:05:19,695 --> 00:05:20,988
Yeah.
63
00:05:21,655 --> 00:05:25,617
What're you doing here, Matt?
I just came by
to wish you good luck.
64
00:05:25,701 --> 00:05:28,245
You know,
on the whole music thing.
Good luck?
65
00:05:28,370 --> 00:05:30,956
You haven't said a word to me
since the eighth grade.
66
00:05:31,040 --> 00:05:34,293
Yeah, and that tone of voice
is exactly the reason why.
67
00:05:34,376 --> 00:05:36,712
So, I'm going to
take off now.
68
00:05:40,632 --> 00:05:44,928
Ladies and gentlemen,
please rise to honor
our graduates.
69
00:05:45,012 --> 00:05:46,680
Douchebag's gonna miss it.
70
00:05:59,526 --> 00:06:00,861
Oh, yes.
71
00:06:04,239 --> 00:06:05,574
Are they crying?
72
00:06:08,619 --> 00:06:10,037
Holy shit!
73
00:06:17,086 --> 00:06:18,253
Yes!
74
00:06:39,483 --> 00:06:41,235
Eat shit, seniors.
75
00:06:55,833 --> 00:06:57,042
Yeah. Oh!
76
00:07:02,798 --> 00:07:05,134
Stifler!
77
00:07:07,761 --> 00:07:11,432
I've been waiting for this
moment for a very long time.
78
00:07:12,724 --> 00:07:15,477
And now,
the day of reckoning has come.
79
00:07:18,772 --> 00:07:20,065
Hello, Matthew.
80
00:07:20,941 --> 00:07:23,026
Your brother must be
very proud.
81
00:07:25,904 --> 00:07:28,157
You've continued his legacy.
82
00:07:29,158 --> 00:07:30,659
Tormenting the innocent,
83
00:07:31,785 --> 00:07:34,830
defiling all that is good
and pure.
84
00:07:38,292 --> 00:07:41,003
But now, you're going down.
85
00:07:41,670 --> 00:07:44,923
Ooh. What're you going to do,
expel me, Shermanator?
86
00:07:46,800 --> 00:07:49,595
I am a sophisticated
counseling machine
87
00:07:49,678 --> 00:07:53,474
sent back in time
to guide young
and innocent minds.
88
00:07:53,849 --> 00:07:58,770
My primary directive
is to protect the students
of this institution
89
00:07:59,688 --> 00:08:02,649
and all, indeed all mankind
90
00:08:03,400 --> 00:08:06,320
from the menace
that is another Stifler.
91
00:08:06,528 --> 00:08:09,114
Behavior modification
is required.
92
00:08:09,448 --> 00:08:12,284
It's not too late
to change your future.
93
00:08:15,037 --> 00:08:18,999
No, expulsion
would be too easy.
94
00:08:20,501 --> 00:08:21,543
Hmm.
95
00:08:22,211 --> 00:08:25,464
I know the perfect punishment
to fit your crime.
96
00:08:27,966 --> 00:08:30,719
Since you have so much trouble
with the band,
97
00:08:31,261 --> 00:08:33,972
perhaps you should
make friends with them.
98
00:08:34,139 --> 00:08:35,724
No fucking way.
99
00:08:37,559 --> 00:08:42,189
Either you learn
to be more considerate
or you will be expelled.
100
00:08:43,023 --> 00:08:44,525
No football.
101
00:08:45,484 --> 00:08:46,693
No parties.
102
00:08:46,777 --> 00:08:48,612
No spring break.
103
00:08:49,363 --> 00:08:51,949
No graduation.
104
00:08:52,282 --> 00:08:53,909
No college.
105
00:08:54,284 --> 00:08:55,702
No coeds.
106
00:08:56,578 --> 00:08:57,996
Comprende?
107
00:09:02,751 --> 00:09:04,586
Pack your bags, Stifler.
108
00:09:05,379 --> 00:09:08,090
You're going to Band Camp.
Band Camp!
109
00:09:14,888 --> 00:09:17,224
Bullshit, trash.
110
00:09:20,227 --> 00:09:23,397
All right, Steve!
Valley Girls Gone Wild.
111
00:09:25,107 --> 00:09:26,191
Fuck.
112
00:09:44,585 --> 00:09:46,336
I told you Steve
would get back to me.
113
00:09:46,420 --> 00:09:47,754
I mean,
it was just a postcard,
114
00:09:47,838 --> 00:09:49,965
but it gave me a great idea.
115
00:09:50,048 --> 00:09:51,133
Look...
116
00:09:51,258 --> 00:09:53,385
Steve's shit-head friend,
Jim,
117
00:09:53,468 --> 00:09:55,887
he married this freaking
nympho band-geek, Michelle.
118
00:09:55,971 --> 00:09:58,890
And he said all they do
at Band Camp is screw 24/7.
119
00:09:58,974 --> 00:10:03,186
Matt, buddy,
you cannot screw band chicks.
There are standards.
120
00:10:04,479 --> 00:10:07,649
I'm not talking
about screwing them,
scrotum-breath.
121
00:10:08,066 --> 00:10:10,402
I'm talking about
videotaping them.
122
00:10:10,652 --> 00:10:14,239
People love to see dorks
doing that freaky shit
on hidden video.
123
00:10:14,323 --> 00:10:18,160
Bandeez Gone Wild?
Steve's gonna have
some competition now
124
00:10:18,327 --> 00:10:20,912
because little bro's
joining the family business.
125
00:10:26,168 --> 00:10:27,961
Yeah, Spy Chest.
126
00:10:28,545 --> 00:10:30,464
Secret Video.
127
00:10:31,840 --> 00:10:33,216
Hell, yeah.
128
00:10:35,385 --> 00:10:37,763
Color night vision?
I'll take it. Shit.
129
00:10:45,145 --> 00:10:48,190
How about tomorrow?
This is going be great.
130
00:11:29,940 --> 00:11:32,651
Welcome to Tall Oaks 2005.
131
00:11:34,069 --> 00:11:36,780
Let's hear it
from Lloyd Memorial High.
132
00:11:36,863 --> 00:11:38,198
L-L-O-Y-D!
133
00:11:39,700 --> 00:11:41,034
L-L-O-Y-D!
134
00:11:42,244 --> 00:11:44,663
- Mount St. Marie.
- Mount St. Marie!
135
00:11:44,746 --> 00:11:46,331
Mount St. Marie!
136
00:11:46,415 --> 00:11:48,041
East Great Falls High.
137
00:11:48,458 --> 00:11:50,669
East Great Falls! Hoo! Ha!
138
00:11:50,752 --> 00:11:52,754
East Great Falls! Hoo! Ha!
139
00:11:52,838 --> 00:11:56,133
And five-time defending
Tall Oaks Cup Champion...
140
00:11:56,425 --> 00:11:57,676
Beechwood Academy.
141
00:11:57,759 --> 00:12:00,011
We're number one!
We're number one!
142
00:12:00,095 --> 00:12:01,179
We're number one!
143
00:12:01,263 --> 00:12:02,514
Okay, settle down.
144
00:12:03,265 --> 00:12:05,600
Now, as you know,
each year
145
00:12:05,684 --> 00:12:08,687
one senior Tall Oaks composer
is awarded
146
00:12:08,770 --> 00:12:13,275
a full scholarship
to the prestigious
Robards Conservatory.
147
00:12:13,400 --> 00:12:15,527
Elyse, this is your year to win.
148
00:12:15,610 --> 00:12:18,864
This year, Dr. Susan Choi,
president of Robards,
149
00:12:18,947 --> 00:12:21,867
will judge the compositions
herself.
150
00:12:21,950 --> 00:12:26,455
And let's not forget
to welcome the Tall Oaks
Camp Counselors.
151
00:12:33,628 --> 00:12:37,841
If you visit our infirmary,
Nurse Sanders will take care
of your every need.
152
00:12:40,635 --> 00:12:45,265
Okay, so let's work hard,
and may the best band win.
153
00:12:53,231 --> 00:12:54,316
You guys ready?
154
00:13:13,293 --> 00:13:14,669
What the fuck?
155
00:13:15,003 --> 00:13:17,506
Are you a rookie?
You look lost.
156
00:13:17,839 --> 00:13:20,926
Are you an asshole?
You're hairy,
and you smell like shit.
157
00:13:21,426 --> 00:13:22,427
I'll, uh...
158
00:13:23,261 --> 00:13:26,389
I'll ignore
that kind of talk once.
159
00:13:27,516 --> 00:13:29,392
We don't speak that way here.
160
00:13:29,851 --> 00:13:34,272
Rookies are to wear
their beanies at all times.
Those are the rules.
161
00:13:34,356 --> 00:13:36,817
And who made you
the mayor of Geek Town?
162
00:13:37,943 --> 00:13:42,072
I'm Brandon Vandecamp,
senior drum major of
Beechwood Academy
163
00:13:42,197 --> 00:13:43,907
and the president
of the Tall Oaks Council.
164
00:13:44,032 --> 00:13:48,036
Oh, and who are they,
Mr. President?
The First Lady and Vice Pussy?
165
00:13:54,125 --> 00:13:55,544
Suits you well.
166
00:13:55,669 --> 00:14:00,423
Golly, jeepers, thanks.
Hey, you know, since I'm an
official band geek and all,
167
00:14:00,507 --> 00:14:02,342
can you guess what
my favorite piece of music is?
168
00:14:02,676 --> 00:14:05,387
I have no idea.
The Nutcracker.
169
00:14:07,764 --> 00:14:10,600
- Step back, bitch.
- Holy mother of Mozart.
170
00:14:13,019 --> 00:14:14,145
This is bad.
171
00:14:14,229 --> 00:14:16,898
You didn't know Jackie Chan
was in the house,
did you boys, huh?
172
00:14:16,982 --> 00:14:18,984
Stop that. Stop that now.
173
00:14:19,734 --> 00:14:21,403
Those knob-slobbers
started it.
174
00:14:21,486 --> 00:14:24,114
That's not true, sir.
We simply reminded him
to wear his beanie.
175
00:14:24,197 --> 00:14:26,616
And then he viciously
assaulted Brandon's genitals.
176
00:14:26,700 --> 00:14:31,246
That's a lie, you dick-snot.
Oscar, Jimmy,
escort this man to see
177
00:14:31,371 --> 00:14:33,915
the Macro.
The what?
178
00:14:33,999 --> 00:14:36,459
You're dead.
Now, gentlemen.
179
00:14:37,335 --> 00:14:39,546
God, Brandon, are you okay?
180
00:14:40,630 --> 00:14:42,966
You want to tell me
what the hell
you're doing here, Stifler?
181
00:14:43,049 --> 00:14:45,635
It don't matter, Big O.
He ain't gonna be here long.
182
00:14:45,719 --> 00:14:46,970
- Bitch!
- Get over here.
183
00:14:47,053 --> 00:14:49,139
Macro gonna
fuck your ass up, fool.
184
00:14:49,222 --> 00:14:51,808
What the fuck's a macro?
The Macro.
185
00:14:51,892 --> 00:14:54,060
Morale And Conflict
Resolution Officer.
186
00:14:54,185 --> 00:14:56,563
I heard this one time,
this kid went
into that office
187
00:14:56,646 --> 00:14:58,398
a baritone
and came out a soprano.
188
00:14:58,481 --> 00:15:01,818
Clarinet up the ass
backwards, yo.
What?
189
00:15:09,159 --> 00:15:10,493
Pussies.
190
00:15:24,299 --> 00:15:25,675
Oh, I'm sorry.
191
00:15:27,802 --> 00:15:29,638
Frankenstein. Scary stuff.
192
00:15:31,264 --> 00:15:33,642
I am just a Boris Karloff nut.
193
00:15:33,934 --> 00:15:38,229
I'm the Macro, Mr. Levenstein.
Holy shit, you're Jim's dad.
194
00:15:38,772 --> 00:15:41,483
He screwed that redheaded
nympho chick at my lake house.
195
00:15:41,691 --> 00:15:45,612
Oh, my, you're not a Stifler?
Yeah, I'm Steve's brother,
Matt.
196
00:15:46,780 --> 00:15:50,116
There are two Stiflers?
Yes, sir.
Hey, what're you doing here?
197
00:15:50,492 --> 00:15:54,496
Oh, well, Jim is now
out of the house,
married to Michelle,
198
00:15:54,621 --> 00:15:57,791
that redheaded nympho chick
that you spoke of.
199
00:15:59,000 --> 00:16:02,003
And, being a former
Tall Oaks Counselor
of the Year,
200
00:16:02,212 --> 00:16:07,133
she was hired to be
the Macro this summer,
but she got pregnant.
201
00:16:07,592 --> 00:16:11,054
No doubt due to the tendencies
you alluded to earlier.
202
00:16:11,137 --> 00:16:14,182
And I have a great rapport
with young people...
203
00:16:14,265 --> 00:16:16,226
...so I just stepped in
and volunteered.
204
00:16:16,309 --> 00:16:20,397
That cretin is not
in our band, and we are not
responsible for his actions.
205
00:16:20,480 --> 00:16:22,983
Who pissed in your piccolo?
I'm sensing
some hostility here.
206
00:16:23,066 --> 00:16:24,567
He poisoned my band.
What?
207
00:16:24,651 --> 00:16:27,487
I'm the Macro and it's my job
to deal with...
What is he doing here?
208
00:16:27,570 --> 00:16:31,116
Matt Stifler is pure evil
just like his brother.
...conflict.
209
00:16:31,324 --> 00:16:32,826
Thanks, Leesy.
210
00:16:37,414 --> 00:16:38,999
She seems nice.
211
00:16:39,874 --> 00:16:41,334
There are rules,
of course.
212
00:16:41,418 --> 00:16:43,211
You will
have to wear a beanie.
Yeah.
213
00:16:43,294 --> 00:16:46,631
Oh, I know.
It's a little silly,
but it's tradition here,
214
00:16:46,715 --> 00:16:50,343
something you're familiar
with, being on the
football team, I'm sure,
215
00:16:50,427 --> 00:16:53,972
with your elephant walks
and circle jerks
and drinking butt beer.
216
00:16:54,055 --> 00:16:56,391
But here,
you just have to wear
a silly little hat and
217
00:16:56,474 --> 00:16:59,561
a somewhat stylish
Tall Oaks T-shirt.
Yeah.
218
00:16:59,811 --> 00:17:01,688
So, just go
with the flow, Matt,
219
00:17:01,813 --> 00:17:04,107
and you will have
loads of fun
220
00:17:04,649 --> 00:17:07,652
and you'll be making
new friends in no time.
221
00:17:14,659 --> 00:17:17,537
Hey, Ernie Kaplowitz,
tenor sax.
222
00:17:18,830 --> 00:17:21,541
Cool! I'm a rookie here, too.
223
00:17:21,708 --> 00:17:25,670
I really wanted to come
last year, but Computer Camp
conflicted, and...
224
00:17:25,837 --> 00:17:29,966
Oh, yeah, that was here
when I arrived. I think
it has your name on it.
225
00:17:32,218 --> 00:17:33,344
What is it?
226
00:17:35,221 --> 00:17:39,017
Hi, welcome
to Casa de Stifler.
I'll be your host, Matt.
227
00:17:39,267 --> 00:17:42,604
Every day here, I'll make it
my sincere goal not to have
to kick your ass.
228
00:17:42,687 --> 00:17:45,065
Allow me to show you
to your new accommodations.
229
00:17:46,691 --> 00:17:49,027
When I'm out here,
you're in there.
230
00:17:50,528 --> 00:17:52,572
Have a great day, fucko.
231
00:17:52,947 --> 00:17:54,157
I don't...
232
00:17:57,535 --> 00:17:58,787
Okay...
233
00:17:58,870 --> 00:18:00,622
I'll just go ahead
and put this stuff
away for you.
234
00:18:00,705 --> 00:18:02,874
All right.
Bandy-vision.
235
00:18:04,501 --> 00:18:08,797
This is a 1978
Ohio State show...
236
00:18:08,880 --> 00:18:10,465
The Wizard Of Oz.
237
00:18:10,548 --> 00:18:14,302
The one
where the sousaphone player
forgot to dot the I? Oh, hey.
238
00:18:16,054 --> 00:18:19,057
Yeah, right. Freaks.
239
00:18:20,809 --> 00:18:23,228
Never fear,
the Stiffmeister's here.
240
00:18:23,311 --> 00:18:26,356
Band Camp just got
a whole lot better, ladies.
241
00:18:26,606 --> 00:18:29,192
You're Steve Stifler's
younger brother, aren't you?
242
00:18:29,275 --> 00:18:31,152
Young and hung.
Great.
243
00:18:31,236 --> 00:18:33,321
Could you send him
a message for me?
244
00:18:33,404 --> 00:18:34,572
No problem, señorita.
245
00:18:41,871 --> 00:18:45,625
Well, it looks like Steve
gave someone the old Stifler
bang-and-boot.
246
00:18:47,252 --> 00:18:50,713
Is there a problem here?
No, everything's fine.
247
00:18:52,590 --> 00:18:55,802
Have fun at Band Camp.
Thank you, I will.
248
00:18:59,848 --> 00:19:02,642
Later.
Word.
249
00:19:03,101 --> 00:19:05,562
You need to start
showing some respect
around here, Stifler.
250
00:19:05,645 --> 00:19:08,439
You need to show yourself
back to your table, Big Dog.
251
00:19:09,190 --> 00:19:10,608
Out of my way, yo.
252
00:19:12,318 --> 00:19:16,573
Hola, chicas.
Elyse, so good
to see you again.
253
00:19:16,739 --> 00:19:19,826
So, what's going on tonight?
We gonna party,
get a little crazy?
254
00:19:19,951 --> 00:19:22,495
Who wants to rack up
a few frequent fucker miles?
255
00:19:22,620 --> 00:19:25,665
You know, you are the most...
Most sexy man ever
to come to Band Camp.
256
00:19:25,790 --> 00:19:29,794
What? Chloe,
he is so obnoxious.
Sexy obnoxious.
257
00:19:29,919 --> 00:19:32,964
Thank you.
I'm tired of messing around
with these
258
00:19:33,089 --> 00:19:34,966
dorky-ass nice guys
259
00:19:35,133 --> 00:19:37,218
and "sensitive-artist" types.
260
00:19:37,802 --> 00:19:42,473
Let's party
with a real hombre tonight.
Hell, yeah. That's me.
261
00:19:42,891 --> 00:19:46,978
- 100% hombre.
- All right, my room, 8:00.
262
00:19:47,979 --> 00:19:51,900
Great first day, campers.
This is your Macro speaking
263
00:19:51,983 --> 00:19:55,153
and, hey, morale couldn't have
been higher today.
264
00:19:55,236 --> 00:19:58,740
So hop in the sack,
and get a good night's sleep
because
265
00:19:58,865 --> 00:20:02,285
starting tomorrow, we have
many, many exciting activities
planned,
266
00:20:02,410 --> 00:20:05,872
not the least of which
is the race
for the Tall Oaks Cup.
267
00:20:06,372 --> 00:20:08,208
So let the games begin.
268
00:20:08,708 --> 00:20:12,212
Bandeez Gone Wild.
Scene One. Party hombre.
269
00:20:17,550 --> 00:20:21,888
It's called Strip Trivia.
We made it up.
It's a Band Camp tradition.
270
00:20:22,222 --> 00:20:26,517
"Fourth and Long,"
"Sextuplets," "Banging Babes,"
and "Who Blew Me?"
271
00:20:26,601 --> 00:20:29,771
This looks like my kind
of game. Shall we play?
272
00:20:30,772 --> 00:20:33,775
You sit in the middle.
Your game, my seating chart.
273
00:20:33,983 --> 00:20:35,485
Sit a little closer, ladies.
274
00:20:35,568 --> 00:20:37,612
Don't be scared.
It's all right.
275
00:20:38,071 --> 00:20:39,239
Okay...
276
00:20:39,405 --> 00:20:42,408
The rules are simple.
You choose a category
and a question
277
00:20:42,533 --> 00:20:44,953
and every time you miss,
you strip.
278
00:20:45,161 --> 00:20:46,246
Hell, yeah.
279
00:20:46,329 --> 00:20:48,831
I'll go first. "Who Blew Me?"
280
00:20:49,290 --> 00:20:50,667
Good.
281
00:20:53,211 --> 00:20:57,632
I am a silver
Stradivarius trumpet played
by a Pulitzer Prize winner.
282
00:20:58,716 --> 00:21:00,051
Who blew me?
283
00:21:00,218 --> 00:21:01,761
Yeah, like I'd know.
284
00:21:02,095 --> 00:21:04,472
Sorry. Lose the shoes,
and pick again.
285
00:21:04,555 --> 00:21:06,266
You didn't tell me
this shit was about music.
286
00:21:06,349 --> 00:21:10,061
Well, it is Band Camp, moron.
Hey, to be fair,
287
00:21:10,478 --> 00:21:13,523
maybe we should just
give him a head start.
288
00:21:17,068 --> 00:21:18,778
All right. Yeah.
289
00:21:19,195 --> 00:21:22,031
Okay, all right. All right.
290
00:21:23,324 --> 00:21:26,244
What's wrong with you?
Scared to show off
the mosquito bites?
291
00:21:26,327 --> 00:21:29,080
I've matured
since the fourth grade, Matt.
Have you?
292
00:21:29,163 --> 00:21:32,208
Oh, I've got 10 pounds
of dangling maturity
right here, Leesy.
293
00:21:32,292 --> 00:21:35,295
Quit calling me that.
Okay, okay, moving on.
294
00:21:35,962 --> 00:21:37,964
Matt, just pick
another question, please.
295
00:21:38,047 --> 00:21:40,300
All right, screw it. Whatever.
296
00:21:40,842 --> 00:21:43,052
There you go. Suck on that.
297
00:21:44,762 --> 00:21:46,139
Fourth and Long.
298
00:21:46,472 --> 00:21:47,640
Sure, no problem.
299
00:21:50,643 --> 00:21:55,148
Of Beethoven's
major symphonies, which has
the longest fourth movement?
300
00:21:56,482 --> 00:21:58,192
All right,
I see where this is going.
301
00:21:58,401 --> 00:22:01,112
Fine, you win.
302
00:22:05,283 --> 00:22:06,492
I free ball, ladies.
303
00:22:07,493 --> 00:22:09,537
Got to let
the big boys breathe.
304
00:22:09,620 --> 00:22:11,789
All right,
we play by my rules now.
305
00:22:12,081 --> 00:22:15,001
Football questions only.
Prepare to strip, ladies.
306
00:22:15,501 --> 00:22:18,921
Wait. But first,
does anybody want a beer?
307
00:22:19,005 --> 00:22:20,131
I do.
308
00:22:20,214 --> 00:22:24,635
The counselors have
a secret stash in the fridge
across the hall.
309
00:22:24,719 --> 00:22:25,845
Would you mind?
310
00:22:25,928 --> 00:22:28,931
Now we're talking about
a fucking party.
311
00:22:29,140 --> 00:22:30,808
Stiffy'll be back in a jiffy.
312
00:22:30,933 --> 00:22:32,435
Uh, uh, uh, uh.
313
00:22:32,810 --> 00:22:35,355
I mean,
there's nobody around
314
00:22:35,688 --> 00:22:37,357
and we haven't seen
your best side yet.
315
00:22:44,781 --> 00:22:46,866
Yes! We got him.
316
00:22:49,369 --> 00:22:50,912
So busted.
317
00:22:58,503 --> 00:23:00,963
Man, big boys, wake up.
318
00:23:01,089 --> 00:23:03,341
Just gotta turn down the AC
in there, huh?
319
00:23:03,591 --> 00:23:04,759
Good night, girls.
320
00:23:11,974 --> 00:23:14,602
Sorry, asshole, game's over.
321
00:23:14,685 --> 00:23:19,357
Yeah, the big boys
will love the long walk home.
322
00:23:20,525 --> 00:23:22,026
Room check, girls.
323
00:23:23,361 --> 00:23:24,487
Oh, shit.
324
00:23:24,862 --> 00:23:27,115
Ditch his clothes.
Out the window.
325
00:23:28,199 --> 00:23:30,660
All right,
who wants a long neck?
326
00:23:37,375 --> 00:23:38,626
Nurse Sanders.
327
00:23:42,672 --> 00:23:43,923
They set me up.
He attacked us
328
00:23:44,006 --> 00:23:45,925
with pepper spray
and ruined our graduation.
329
00:23:46,008 --> 00:23:47,260
I went there
for a friendly game...
330
00:23:47,343 --> 00:23:48,928
Hold it. Hold it. Kids.
331
00:23:49,011 --> 00:23:50,304
Okay...
332
00:23:50,555 --> 00:23:52,306
Where are your clothes?
333
00:23:55,351 --> 00:23:56,686
I have them.
334
00:23:57,270 --> 00:23:59,439
May I ask why?
Well, they got me naked...
335
00:23:59,522 --> 00:24:02,442
Oh, whatever. He took
his own pants off...
And they stole my clothes.
336
00:24:02,525 --> 00:24:04,986
And I got stuck up there
with Mrs. Doubtfire
checking out my...
337
00:24:11,826 --> 00:24:13,536
Let me see
if I have this straight.
338
00:24:13,703 --> 00:24:18,583
Elyse, you think Matt
is an arrogant jock who wears
his penis on his forehead
339
00:24:18,666 --> 00:24:21,794
just to gain the approval
of his sociopathic brother.
340
00:24:22,128 --> 00:24:25,798
And, Matt, you think Elyse
is an uptight, geeky prude
341
00:24:25,882 --> 00:24:28,634
who needs to loosen up
and get laid.
342
00:24:28,801 --> 00:24:32,013
Excuse the expression, dear.
Is that close
to being on the money?
343
00:24:34,098 --> 00:24:35,266
Look, kids...
344
00:24:36,434 --> 00:24:38,978
The only way
to solve your differences
345
00:24:39,562 --> 00:24:41,230
is by working together.
346
00:24:42,315 --> 00:24:44,192
So why don't you start
tomorrow
347
00:24:44,609 --> 00:24:47,695
by putting one foot
in front of the other?
348
00:24:51,491 --> 00:24:53,284
Left flank hut.
349
00:24:55,495 --> 00:24:56,996
Turn and hut.
350
00:25:04,879 --> 00:25:05,963
What the fuck!
351
00:25:07,840 --> 00:25:09,383
Band 10 hut!
352
00:25:09,634 --> 00:25:10,843
Holy shit.
353
00:25:11,219 --> 00:25:14,764
When I yell "band 10 hut,"
you snap firmly at attention.
354
00:25:15,014 --> 00:25:16,641
You want to see me
firmly at attention?
355
00:25:16,724 --> 00:25:18,476
I already have.
I wasn't impressed.
356
00:25:21,771 --> 00:25:22,855
Look...
357
00:25:23,689 --> 00:25:25,691
We've never beaten Beechwood,
okay?
358
00:25:26,567 --> 00:25:28,528
For some of us,
it's our last shot.
359
00:25:31,405 --> 00:25:32,990
Just stop screwing up, okay?
360
00:25:33,533 --> 00:25:34,659
Yeah, asshole.
361
00:25:36,953 --> 00:25:39,247
Okay, people,
back to work, let's go.
Whatever.
362
00:25:39,330 --> 00:25:40,373
I don't need this shit.
363
00:25:40,456 --> 00:25:43,084
Reset the block.
Front ranks, right here.
364
00:25:57,473 --> 00:25:59,183
Housekeeping.
365
00:26:26,168 --> 00:26:28,588
Oscar, brought me
something to drink?
366
00:26:28,754 --> 00:26:30,464
Come on.
Good looking out, baby.
367
00:26:34,510 --> 00:26:36,262
Hey, it's Ernie Crapowitz.
368
00:26:36,345 --> 00:26:39,473
So you finally came out
of the closet. Good for you.
369
00:26:40,683 --> 00:26:43,227
Look, I want to know
what goes on at night,
all right?
370
00:26:43,311 --> 00:26:45,938
All the crazy shit.
Naked pillow fights, whatever.
371
00:26:46,022 --> 00:26:49,525
Do I look like the guy
that's in charge of
the naked pillow fights, huh?
372
00:26:49,692 --> 00:26:51,152
It's my first time here.
373
00:26:51,235 --> 00:26:52,445
Notice the beanie?
374
00:26:52,695 --> 00:26:53,779
Yes.
375
00:26:54,614 --> 00:26:56,198
Yes, I do.
376
00:26:56,282 --> 00:26:59,619
Yes, speaking of beanies,
where's yours, Stifler?
377
00:26:59,869 --> 00:27:01,829
You still not following
the rules, huh?
378
00:27:01,912 --> 00:27:03,914
Let's see.
Look. He's getting
in trouble again.
379
00:27:03,998 --> 00:27:07,418
No standard-issue
Tall Oaks T-shirt
and no beanie.
380
00:27:07,501 --> 00:27:10,838
I believe that's two points
from Great Falls, Mr. Nelson.
381
00:27:11,130 --> 00:27:13,007
Tell you what,
Vande-cramp,
382
00:27:13,299 --> 00:27:16,093
what if I took
his beanie
383
00:27:16,177 --> 00:27:18,929
and put it on my weenie?
384
00:27:19,013 --> 00:27:23,142
How do you like that
Vande-cramp?
It's on my head, right? Huh?
385
00:27:23,309 --> 00:27:25,519
Make it five points
from Great Falls.
386
00:27:25,686 --> 00:27:26,979
Five points.
387
00:27:27,063 --> 00:27:30,232
Man, this place sucks
donkey ass.
388
00:27:32,234 --> 00:27:33,527
Ugh...
389
00:27:35,321 --> 00:27:37,073
Put your beanie on, son.
390
00:27:42,912 --> 00:27:44,747
Five points.
391
00:28:08,312 --> 00:28:10,606
Stay still. Stop moving.
392
00:28:10,690 --> 00:28:12,441
He ain't going nowhere now.
393
00:28:12,525 --> 00:28:15,861
This isn't your world.
This is our world,
and we don't want you in it.
394
00:28:15,945 --> 00:28:18,197
You already cost us
five points in the standings.
395
00:28:18,280 --> 00:28:20,032
We can't have that.
396
00:28:20,324 --> 00:28:22,034
Set the man up
with his beanie.
397
00:28:29,792 --> 00:28:31,502
Now you're representing, fool.
398
00:28:31,585 --> 00:28:33,045
And this toothpaste
399
00:28:33,170 --> 00:28:35,881
this will make up
for the pepper spray, asshole.
400
00:28:49,603 --> 00:28:51,021
Oh, shit.
401
00:28:52,231 --> 00:28:54,650
I'll get the paint thinner
from maintenance.
402
00:28:55,860 --> 00:28:57,236
Animals.
403
00:29:07,747 --> 00:29:11,917
Matt, you were sent here
404
00:29:12,293 --> 00:29:13,753
to make a change.
405
00:29:13,919 --> 00:29:17,673
And, so far, you've only had
your sinuses sanitized. So...
406
00:29:18,090 --> 00:29:20,468
I think it's time
to try a new approach.
407
00:29:21,093 --> 00:29:22,887
Make some friends.
408
00:29:24,472 --> 00:29:26,307
Earn their trust.
409
00:29:28,601 --> 00:29:30,853
Why would I want
to earn their trust?
410
00:29:34,315 --> 00:29:36,108
Good.
411
00:29:39,278 --> 00:29:41,155
That's what I'm talking about.
412
00:29:42,865 --> 00:29:44,825
Welcome to Stifler-vision.
413
00:29:44,909 --> 00:29:47,411
I think there's a
cymbal class at 1:00.
414
00:29:47,536 --> 00:29:48,746
I hate that.
415
00:29:48,829 --> 00:29:51,040
Yeah, but it's better than
the bass drum relay.
416
00:29:51,123 --> 00:29:52,374
Yeah, that's true.
417
00:29:58,839 --> 00:30:00,716
Counselors going wild.
418
00:30:03,052 --> 00:30:05,221
Yours look totally fantastic.
419
00:30:05,304 --> 00:30:08,390
Two for
the price of one.
My left one's bigger, see?
420
00:30:08,474 --> 00:30:12,061
Yeah, mine, too, baby.
They can totally
fix that.
421
00:30:12,812 --> 00:30:14,271
That shampoo smells
awesome.
422
00:30:14,355 --> 00:30:17,691
Thanks. I get it from
this Russian lady
who does my bikini wax.
423
00:30:17,817 --> 00:30:19,068
Brazilian or Playboy?
424
00:30:19,151 --> 00:30:21,403
Actually, I get mine
customized.
425
00:30:21,487 --> 00:30:23,739
- Wanna see?
- Oh, yeah, show me.
426
00:30:24,782 --> 00:30:27,660
Oh, my God, how cute.
There's a little music note.
427
00:30:27,743 --> 00:30:29,411
No!
Yeah, I used to be flat.
428
00:30:29,495 --> 00:30:32,414
Just like
I used to be.
Lens fog. No!
429
00:30:43,676 --> 00:30:45,427
What is that thing,
butt weasel?
430
00:30:45,511 --> 00:30:47,555
Yeah, it's the KR3, baby.
431
00:30:47,638 --> 00:30:51,267
The Kaplowitz Remote
Robotic Rover.
And you are so busted.
432
00:30:51,350 --> 00:30:54,937
Hey, Oscar, somebody call
the Macro.
Dude, please, shut up.
433
00:30:55,020 --> 00:30:58,816
Pull your panties
out of your ass. I can help
you with that chick.
434
00:31:02,695 --> 00:31:03,737
What chick?
435
00:31:03,863 --> 00:31:06,323
Dude, the one
with all the tattoos.
The Tubanator.
436
00:31:06,407 --> 00:31:07,867
Her name is Chloe.
437
00:31:08,534 --> 00:31:11,871
Come on, man. I can help.
I'm the Stiffmeister.
438
00:31:11,954 --> 00:31:14,748
Master of love
and romance.
Bullshit.
439
00:31:14,915 --> 00:31:19,378
I nailed three cheerleaders
in one week on spring break.
College cheerleaders.
440
00:31:29,930 --> 00:31:32,433
And I know why
your camera spritzed out.
441
00:31:35,144 --> 00:31:37,104
Dude, this thing
is awesome.
442
00:31:37,688 --> 00:31:40,774
You ever use this
to look up chicks' skirts?
No.
443
00:31:40,858 --> 00:31:43,235
But I did use it to win
the State Science Fair
last year.
444
00:31:43,319 --> 00:31:45,613
And I'm hoping it gets me
into MIT next fall.
445
00:31:45,696 --> 00:31:47,740
I really want
to work for NASA.
446
00:31:47,948 --> 00:31:50,451
National Anal Sex Association?
447
00:31:50,659 --> 00:31:52,411
No, it's Space...
448
00:31:53,203 --> 00:31:55,331
There's an
Anal Sex Association?
449
00:31:55,414 --> 00:31:57,917
Oh, yeah, but you've
got to be a pro.
450
00:31:59,460 --> 00:32:01,629
Wait, there's
a Space Association?
451
00:32:03,255 --> 00:32:05,215
You were supposed
to use this.
452
00:32:06,258 --> 00:32:10,512
See, it's got
an anti-fog lens. Duh.
Yeah, good.
453
00:32:11,555 --> 00:32:16,435
Can the robot record?
All right, so, what are
your intentions?
454
00:32:17,895 --> 00:32:20,397
With the video, I mean.
What are you doing?
455
00:32:20,522 --> 00:32:22,066
Oh, it's just for fun.
456
00:32:22,358 --> 00:32:25,778
I mean, who doesn't like
to look at hot naked chicks,
right?
457
00:32:27,237 --> 00:32:29,281
Keep it between us,
and I'll let you watch.
458
00:32:29,907 --> 00:32:32,952
Plus, I'll have you
giving Chloe the pelvic noogie
inside a week.
459
00:32:34,286 --> 00:32:36,789
Hey, Stifler. Phone.
460
00:32:37,206 --> 00:32:39,249
We're in Detroit!
461
00:32:39,625 --> 00:32:42,336
Locked into
sweet Brazilian rum.
462
00:32:42,419 --> 00:32:45,172
I'm fucking fubar, man!
463
00:32:45,255 --> 00:32:49,593
I sent you rum today.
Could come in handy
in Dorksville.
464
00:32:49,718 --> 00:32:51,387
Man, this place blows.
465
00:32:52,596 --> 00:32:54,181
Hey, my roommate,
Dr. Robot,
466
00:32:54,264 --> 00:32:56,517
busted me taping
some college chicks
in the shower.
467
00:32:56,600 --> 00:32:58,727
So now I have to be
all nice to him and shit.
468
00:32:58,811 --> 00:33:02,272
And I'm not getting
any good footage 'cause these
fucking bandies hate me.
469
00:33:03,983 --> 00:33:06,193
Think of it like trying
to hook up with a virgin.
470
00:33:06,276 --> 00:33:09,863
Act like you give a shit
about them until they
bring you into the good stuff.
471
00:33:09,947 --> 00:33:11,824
Earn their trust?
472
00:33:12,449 --> 00:33:14,410
Dude, that could work.
473
00:33:14,535 --> 00:33:16,870
I'll be an undercover
bandy fucker.
474
00:33:17,997 --> 00:33:21,500
Hello, everyone.
Isn't it a peachy day
here at Band Camp?
475
00:33:21,709 --> 00:33:25,587
Band buds.
How's it going? Yo.
476
00:33:26,338 --> 00:33:30,300
Hey, I just want to say thanks
for the little wakeup call.
You kidders.
477
00:33:31,427 --> 00:33:34,596
Hey, I can finally hear
the music calling me, okay?
478
00:33:35,264 --> 00:33:38,559
There. Hear it?
Yeah. Me, too.
479
00:33:38,851 --> 00:33:40,561
So I'm a totally
new man, and...
480
00:33:40,644 --> 00:33:43,480
By the way, you both
look great in pantyhose.
481
00:33:53,907 --> 00:33:57,202
What are you doing?
Awaiting my marching lesson,
ma'am.
482
00:33:57,286 --> 00:33:59,747
Look, Matt, I really don't
have time for this right now.
483
00:33:59,830 --> 00:34:03,417
No, look, I figure I'm here,
I might as well make
the best of it.
484
00:34:03,500 --> 00:34:06,920
Matt, marching's hard, okay?
It's not like
throwing some football.
485
00:34:07,004 --> 00:34:08,714
Oh, you ever thrown
into double coverage?
486
00:34:08,797 --> 00:34:10,507
You ever high-stepped
in double time?
487
00:34:10,591 --> 00:34:13,844
Yes, ma'am, the time
the cops chased us
across Koreno's Creek.
488
00:34:14,928 --> 00:34:17,806
And you got so scared,
you cried.
489
00:34:18,515 --> 00:34:22,686
I had allergies.
It was winter, Mattie.
490
00:34:23,645 --> 00:34:27,107
Well, if you don't teach me
to march, I might just
cry again.
491
00:34:30,527 --> 00:34:31,695
Fine.
492
00:34:31,987 --> 00:34:36,033
Left foot on one and three,
right foot on two and four.
493
00:34:36,116 --> 00:34:37,659
You have to do math?
494
00:34:46,210 --> 00:34:50,130
One, two, three, middle.
One, two, three, line.
495
00:34:50,214 --> 00:34:52,466
Right foot on four.
496
00:34:54,718 --> 00:34:57,221
Keep your
step size even.
My what?
497
00:34:58,806 --> 00:35:02,267
All right, there we go,
little buddy. I'm gonna
fix you up good.
498
00:35:03,894 --> 00:35:07,022
Any girl that knows
how to play a tuba,
she can do things.
499
00:35:07,106 --> 00:35:08,690
That's what Stifler says.
500
00:35:08,774 --> 00:35:11,401
I don't know what it means,
but it's got to be good.
501
00:35:11,485 --> 00:35:12,736
You're good to go.
502
00:35:12,820 --> 00:35:14,404
Let's go find Chloe.
503
00:35:27,167 --> 00:35:28,418
Holy shit.
504
00:35:29,628 --> 00:35:32,923
What the hell?
Who's doing this?
505
00:35:35,551 --> 00:35:36,635
Take it.
506
00:35:36,760 --> 00:35:37,803
It's okay.
507
00:35:47,229 --> 00:35:50,858
Thanks, little
creepy machine.
You're welcome...
508
00:35:51,275 --> 00:35:52,985
Beautiful lady.
509
00:36:08,417 --> 00:36:12,713
With my right, with my right,
but I can also do it
with my left, with my left.
510
00:36:16,216 --> 00:36:17,301
Bootie.
511
00:36:18,552 --> 00:36:19,678
Good game.
512
00:36:20,304 --> 00:36:22,389
Good game. Good game.
Good game. Good game.
Good game.
513
00:36:26,059 --> 00:36:27,895
You just touched my bootie.
514
00:36:34,943 --> 00:36:37,362
What's that?
Your instrument.
515
00:36:37,821 --> 00:36:39,615
That's fucking gay.
516
00:36:40,532 --> 00:36:42,659
I mean lame.
Good.
517
00:36:43,368 --> 00:36:46,205
Now, there are
two positions.
518
00:36:46,872 --> 00:36:51,043
Carrying position, like this,
and playing position,
like this.
519
00:36:51,210 --> 00:36:52,878
Now when I call,
"horns up,"
520
00:36:53,003 --> 00:36:55,088
you're gonna move
your instrument out,
and then...
521
00:36:55,172 --> 00:36:56,840
Hello, losers.
522
00:36:57,007 --> 00:37:00,802
Matt. Oh, my God.
Matt, I am so sorry.
523
00:37:00,886 --> 00:37:03,180
I think I bit a hole
in my tongue.
Oh, let me see.
524
00:37:03,263 --> 00:37:05,766
No, no hole.
On today's episode,
525
00:37:06,058 --> 00:37:08,393
wasting time
on lost causes.
526
00:37:09,937 --> 00:37:11,521
Speaking of which,
I understand
527
00:37:11,605 --> 00:37:14,066
you composed the music
to your show, Elyse,
528
00:37:14,149 --> 00:37:15,776
if you call that music.
529
00:37:15,901 --> 00:37:18,320
Yeah. That's right.
I did.
530
00:37:18,403 --> 00:37:20,614
And who'd your daddy hire
to compose yours?
531
00:37:20,739 --> 00:37:25,661
I'm just giving you
fair warning, cupcake.
Robards Scholarship is mine.
532
00:37:26,161 --> 00:37:27,579
Like you need it.
533
00:37:27,913 --> 00:37:30,916
It's not a matter of need.
It's a matter of want.
534
00:37:31,166 --> 00:37:32,668
Yeah, I get what I want.
535
00:37:32,918 --> 00:37:34,586
Why don't you
shut the fuck up?
536
00:37:34,670 --> 00:37:35,796
Matt, don't.
537
00:37:36,964 --> 00:37:39,716
What are you
going to do?
Kick your ass.
538
00:37:39,925 --> 00:37:41,718
Are you challenging me?
No.
539
00:37:41,802 --> 00:37:45,180
Yeah, what if I am?
No, Brandon, that is not
what he's doing.
540
00:37:45,264 --> 00:37:48,100
I accept.
Amphitheatre, 5:00.
541
00:37:48,475 --> 00:37:51,353
It's been three years
since I've been challenged.
542
00:37:51,603 --> 00:37:53,480
We got a challenge.
543
00:37:56,191 --> 00:37:58,610
I look forward
to reminding people why.
544
00:37:59,444 --> 00:38:00,946
East Great Falls.
Hoo, ha!
545
00:38:01,196 --> 00:38:03,407
I'll see you there, asshole.
546
00:38:05,284 --> 00:38:06,493
Do you know
what you just did?
547
00:38:06,576 --> 00:38:08,912
Doesn't matter.
Fucker's going down.
548
00:38:08,996 --> 00:38:11,665
Matt, you challenged him
to a duel.
549
00:38:11,957 --> 00:38:13,166
With swords?
550
00:38:13,792 --> 00:38:17,629
No, you idiot.
You each get on stage
and perform.
551
00:38:17,713 --> 00:38:19,756
And the crowd decides
who wins.
552
00:38:20,257 --> 00:38:22,175
Can't we just do
keg stands?
553
00:38:22,759 --> 00:38:27,180
Matt, this is serious, okay?
Beechwood gets five points
if he wins,
554
00:38:27,264 --> 00:38:30,559
which, you know, he will
because he plays
an instrument.
555
00:38:30,767 --> 00:38:32,561
Well, so do I.
556
00:38:33,103 --> 00:38:35,897
Let the Tall Oaks
Battle Royale begin.
557
00:38:36,481 --> 00:38:39,359
The prize is five points
towards the cup.
558
00:38:40,277 --> 00:38:42,237
Okay, Brandon,
you're up first.
559
00:39:26,323 --> 00:39:27,574
Come on!
560
00:39:29,910 --> 00:39:32,496
Suck on that, bitch.
561
00:39:33,497 --> 00:39:34,831
Lame.
562
00:39:35,540 --> 00:39:37,125
This is so embarrassing.
563
00:39:37,209 --> 00:39:38,460
Okay, Brandon.
564
00:39:38,543 --> 00:39:40,170
Now you show him, Brandon.
565
00:39:58,355 --> 00:39:59,564
Take that!
566
00:40:10,951 --> 00:40:13,495
Well, seems
this contest is over.
567
00:40:14,704 --> 00:40:17,082
Figures. We just lost
five points.
568
00:40:19,418 --> 00:40:22,421
And the winner
by forfeit is...
569
00:40:24,923 --> 00:40:26,883
But I know
it's not his fault...
570
00:40:44,651 --> 00:40:48,697
Play that funky music white boy
571
00:40:49,739 --> 00:40:51,491
You don't know
the words.
572
00:40:52,075 --> 00:40:54,995
Play that funk music
white boy
573
00:40:55,745 --> 00:40:57,372
Lay down that boogie
574
00:40:57,456 --> 00:40:59,958
And play that funky music
till you die
575
00:41:13,430 --> 00:41:15,015
He should shave that.
576
00:41:17,851 --> 00:41:19,936
East Great Falls! Hoo! Ha!
577
00:41:20,103 --> 00:41:22,147
East Great Falls! Hoo! Ha!
578
00:41:22,230 --> 00:41:24,608
East Great Falls! Hoo! Ha!
579
00:41:24,816 --> 00:41:26,485
East Great Falls! Hoo! Ha!
580
00:41:29,613 --> 00:41:31,698
Okay, five points
to Great Falls.
581
00:41:34,075 --> 00:41:36,077
All right, Great Falls!
582
00:41:38,455 --> 00:41:40,582
East Great Falls!
583
00:41:40,665 --> 00:41:43,001
East Great Falls! Hoo! Ha!
584
00:41:43,126 --> 00:41:44,961
East Great Falls! Hoo! Ha!
585
00:41:45,045 --> 00:41:47,172
East Great Falls! Hoo! Ha!
586
00:41:47,255 --> 00:41:49,633
East Great Falls! Hoo! Ha!
587
00:41:50,967 --> 00:41:52,385
Hey. Hey. Hey.
588
00:41:52,636 --> 00:41:54,721
Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey. Hey.
What?
589
00:41:54,804 --> 00:41:57,265
Are you really Scottish?
Fuck, no.
590
00:41:58,099 --> 00:41:59,559
My mom made me
learn an instrument.
591
00:41:59,643 --> 00:42:01,728
That's the most annoying one
I could think of.
592
00:42:01,811 --> 00:42:05,649
I think you were just born
to squeeze sacks
and blow pipes, Stifler.
593
00:42:05,857 --> 00:42:07,192
Hey, Oscar.
594
00:42:11,947 --> 00:42:14,616
How many other Oscars
do you know? Go!
595
00:42:16,993 --> 00:42:19,371
What's up?
Your drum line sounds
pretty tight.
596
00:42:19,496 --> 00:42:20,539
Oh, thanks.
597
00:42:20,664 --> 00:42:22,582
You let me know
if you want to learn
some new moves.
598
00:42:22,666 --> 00:42:23,667
Really?
599
00:42:23,750 --> 00:42:25,627
He's gonna screw it up.
He's definitely gonna
screw it up.
600
00:42:25,710 --> 00:42:26,711
Hey.
601
00:42:28,338 --> 00:42:30,173
Thanks for winning
those points back.
602
00:42:30,257 --> 00:42:32,676
I lost them.
I had to get them back.
603
00:42:33,426 --> 00:42:36,346
Hey, guys,
Sheree's gonna show me
some moves.
604
00:42:37,013 --> 00:42:38,139
Hey, gang,
605
00:42:38,223 --> 00:42:41,101
just a little reminder that
as the battle for the cup
606
00:42:41,184 --> 00:42:42,644
heats up,
let's try to remember
607
00:42:42,727 --> 00:42:47,107
to keep up that Tall Oaks
spirit of fair play
and friendly competition.
608
00:42:48,191 --> 00:42:50,527
We'll have enough spit
for a six-pack.
609
00:42:53,780 --> 00:42:56,741
Yeah, baby,
you did me proud, son.
Thanks, J.Lo.
610
00:42:56,866 --> 00:42:58,285
It's cool.
Big O?
611
00:42:58,702 --> 00:43:01,705
Quite a little show you put on
yesterday, Stifler.
612
00:43:01,871 --> 00:43:04,541
You know, these plebes think
you're some kind of hero.
613
00:43:04,708 --> 00:43:06,960
I don't know
what a plebe is, Vande-creep.
614
00:43:07,043 --> 00:43:10,255
Didn't anybody tell you
not to mess with the big dog
while he's eating?
615
00:43:10,338 --> 00:43:13,091
It's mine, jerk-wad.
Now will you give it back?
616
00:43:14,551 --> 00:43:17,804
Dildos.
This is still
my camp, asshole.
617
00:43:18,054 --> 00:43:20,599
You're going down.
No, I'm not.
618
00:43:20,682 --> 00:43:21,808
But your mom did
last night.
619
00:43:21,891 --> 00:43:24,477
Did she play the trumpet?
Because she has really
strong lips.
620
00:43:25,645 --> 00:43:26,896
That's right.
621
00:43:34,529 --> 00:43:36,406
Mmm!
622
00:43:37,449 --> 00:43:39,034
Mmm, mmm, mmm!
623
00:43:42,454 --> 00:43:43,622
Yummy.
624
00:43:46,958 --> 00:43:49,336
That's what
I'm talking about.
Whoo!
625
00:43:50,545 --> 00:43:51,921
What happened
this time, Claire?
626
00:43:52,005 --> 00:43:53,506
Well, I was working
on my solo
627
00:43:53,590 --> 00:43:55,050
and I hurt myself.
628
00:43:55,925 --> 00:43:57,761
I've been
fucking poisoned.
629
00:43:58,720 --> 00:44:01,556
Ipecac is a natural
herbal extract
630
00:44:01,640 --> 00:44:04,726
that triggers
the regurgitation reflex.
631
00:44:09,189 --> 00:44:11,858
Whatever's in there
should be out soon enough.
632
00:44:12,192 --> 00:44:13,902
Like him,
if we're lucky.
633
00:44:15,695 --> 00:44:19,491
Well, I'm pretty sure
it's probably
just something
634
00:44:19,866 --> 00:44:24,245
you had for lunch, you know?
I've got the same problem.
Very sensitive stomach.
635
00:44:24,871 --> 00:44:28,166
I was at a banquet once.
On the same plate,
if you can believe it,
636
00:44:28,249 --> 00:44:30,752
they had creamed venison,
637
00:44:30,835 --> 00:44:33,296
squid fritters
and jellied pork.
638
00:44:39,219 --> 00:44:40,387
What?
639
00:45:00,699 --> 00:45:02,117
Hey, what's up,
crust bucket?
640
00:45:02,200 --> 00:45:03,493
Come here, dude.
Check this out.
641
00:45:03,576 --> 00:45:05,704
So, this afternoon,
while the counselors
642
00:45:05,787 --> 00:45:07,414
were practicing
for the talent show,
643
00:45:07,497 --> 00:45:10,375
I faked an asthma attack,
and I changed both
of the cameras.
644
00:45:11,584 --> 00:45:14,212
Oh, shit! What the hell
are they doing?
645
00:45:14,295 --> 00:45:16,965
It's their talent show
routine, au naturel.
646
00:45:17,382 --> 00:45:20,093
Dude, you filthy little
cyberfucker. Shit.
647
00:45:20,927 --> 00:45:22,595
Hey, I thought we were
just going to watch.
648
00:45:22,679 --> 00:45:25,390
Exactly, we may want
to watch it again.
649
00:45:26,975 --> 00:45:31,855
Oh, yes. Counselors gone wild.
Dancing white ta-tas.
650
00:45:31,938 --> 00:45:36,776
Hey, so, I took your advice
about Chloe. I used the Rover
to deliver a soda.
651
00:45:37,110 --> 00:45:39,028
That was your cool,
crazy idea?
652
00:45:39,112 --> 00:45:40,822
Yeah, I think
she actually liked it.
653
00:45:40,905 --> 00:45:43,950
Yeah, that sounds gay.
It's not gay.
654
00:45:45,618 --> 00:45:48,496
Anyway, there's this
bonfire-slushee party
tonight
655
00:45:48,580 --> 00:45:51,291
and I really need to know
Step Two in
the Stiffmeister plan.
656
00:45:51,916 --> 00:45:55,503
Slushee party. Really.
657
00:45:55,837 --> 00:45:57,422
Special delivery.
658
00:45:57,547 --> 00:45:59,632
Prepare to jam
with the bearded clam.
659
00:45:59,966 --> 00:46:02,010
Get ready to cuddle
the love puddle.
660
00:46:02,302 --> 00:46:05,638
The time has come
for Dr. Robot to get laid.
661
00:46:05,805 --> 00:46:06,931
Get laid?
662
00:46:07,098 --> 00:46:09,768
I told you,
trust the Stiffmeister.
663
00:46:09,976 --> 00:46:12,771
Meister means "master"
in German.
664
00:46:13,521 --> 00:46:17,859
Get her drunk?
That's the secret of the ages?
That's Step Number Two?
665
00:46:18,109 --> 00:46:19,778
No, actually, it's Step Four.
666
00:46:19,861 --> 00:46:22,530
You don't have
the balls for Two
or the tongue for Three.
667
00:46:23,198 --> 00:46:24,699
I've got the balls.
668
00:46:25,283 --> 00:46:27,827
Hey, you haven't heard
Step Five yet.
669
00:46:31,623 --> 00:46:35,001
Born to be wild
670
00:46:38,963 --> 00:46:42,634
Well, I'm hot-blooded
check it and see
671
00:46:43,009 --> 00:46:46,763
I've got a fever of 103
672
00:46:46,846 --> 00:46:49,682
Come on, baby
do you do more than dance?
673
00:46:51,476 --> 00:46:54,229
This is some good shit.
Don't enjoy it
too much.
674
00:46:54,354 --> 00:46:57,816
We have a big practice
tomorrow, you guys.
Relax, Leesy.
675
00:46:58,191 --> 00:47:01,402
Suckle the tender fruits
of Band Camp
with your friends.
676
00:47:01,528 --> 00:47:05,406
Come on, Elyse.
Cut loose a little bit.
Have some fun.
677
00:47:05,490 --> 00:47:06,825
I am having fun.
678
00:47:06,908 --> 00:47:09,911
Hey, horn dog, let's go get
some more of these
before they run out.
679
00:47:09,994 --> 00:47:12,413
All right.
Horn dog?
680
00:47:12,497 --> 00:47:17,043
Yeah, it's his nickname.
Dude will stick his dick
into anything. It's unnatural.
681
00:47:18,044 --> 00:47:21,923
Check it, dawg. This one time
at Band Camp,
I fucked an oboe.
682
00:47:22,966 --> 00:47:25,343
Really?
Blow in it for a while,
683
00:47:25,426 --> 00:47:30,056
get that wood nice and warm,
slap on some valve oil
and go to town, yo.
684
00:47:30,265 --> 00:47:32,433
Hey, maybe you should
try a flute.
685
00:47:35,645 --> 00:47:36,938
Hey.
Hey.
686
00:47:37,063 --> 00:47:39,566
Now's a good time
to teach you those moves.
687
00:47:39,649 --> 00:47:40,692
Really?
688
00:47:46,364 --> 00:47:47,532
What?
689
00:48:01,963 --> 00:48:03,423
I know what you're doing.
690
00:48:03,506 --> 00:48:04,549
You do?
691
00:48:05,008 --> 00:48:07,594
It's what you always do.
You're a fake.
692
00:48:07,886 --> 00:48:11,014
You do whatever it takes
to be the center of attention.
693
00:48:11,097 --> 00:48:14,934
Just like when we were kids,
around me, you were
regular old Matt,
694
00:48:15,143 --> 00:48:18,563
but around Steve
and his friends,
you were the Stiffmeister.
695
00:48:19,647 --> 00:48:21,190
Who're you going
to be tonight?
696
00:48:21,441 --> 00:48:23,067
Hey, cheese dick,
697
00:48:23,151 --> 00:48:26,988
why don't you quit being
such a fucking taint licker,
and get me another slushee.
698
00:48:27,655 --> 00:48:29,490
Fucking puss monkey.
699
00:48:37,498 --> 00:48:40,084
You know what?
I am going to have some fun.
700
00:48:48,092 --> 00:48:51,179
Fucking hoes, man.
I don't get that shit.
701
00:48:51,304 --> 00:48:55,183
I mean, right now, Oscar's off
in the woods tapping
that counselor biatch, Sheree.
702
00:48:55,308 --> 00:48:58,102
What's up with that?
That cock spring
is getting laid?
703
00:48:58,186 --> 00:49:01,189
True that. And here we are,
the two dopest homeboys
in camp
704
00:49:01,272 --> 00:49:05,610
and we ain't got no prospects
for our palm pilots.
That's fucked up, dawg.
705
00:49:06,027 --> 00:49:08,029
Dude, I gotta see this.
706
00:49:11,282 --> 00:49:12,450
Use your hips more.
707
00:49:12,533 --> 00:49:13,618
Hips, like that?
708
00:49:13,701 --> 00:49:17,580
Yeah, now faster. Yeah.
Like that. A circle.
Like that.
709
00:49:17,705 --> 00:49:21,834
Crikey! The alpha female
has chosen an unlikely mate.
710
00:49:21,918 --> 00:49:24,545
Will he survive
this dangerous encounter
711
00:49:24,796 --> 00:49:29,217
or will she satisfy
her primal needs and then
devour him for dinner?
712
00:49:29,550 --> 00:49:31,135
Stay tuned.
713
00:49:31,469 --> 00:49:35,056
I'm sorry. I'm really
no good at this stuff.
714
00:49:35,139 --> 00:49:37,183
Relax.
You're doing fine.
715
00:49:40,770 --> 00:49:42,271
This sucks.
716
00:49:42,605 --> 00:49:45,108
How's that feel?
Oscar.
717
00:49:45,191 --> 00:49:47,902
Is that your drumstick
poking me?
718
00:49:49,070 --> 00:49:51,030
I don't have
my drumsticks.
719
00:49:51,114 --> 00:49:53,908
Are you standing up
for me again, Oscar?
720
00:49:54,450 --> 00:49:56,202
It's getting hot.
721
00:49:56,452 --> 00:49:59,372
Smack my ass
and call me cowboy.
722
00:49:59,539 --> 00:50:02,333
Hello,
Double-D Sheree.
723
00:50:02,875 --> 00:50:04,585
Hips. Hips.
724
00:50:04,877 --> 00:50:06,504
Use your hips.
Oh, yeah, hips.
725
00:50:06,587 --> 00:50:08,423
And step, and...
726
00:50:10,925 --> 00:50:13,052
Who knew?
727
00:50:13,803 --> 00:50:15,221
Wow.
728
00:50:16,764 --> 00:50:17,890
Oh, shit!
729
00:50:17,974 --> 00:50:19,809
You're a sweet guy, Oscar.
730
00:50:19,892 --> 00:50:22,395
Bandeez Gone Wild.
Scene 69.
731
00:50:22,478 --> 00:50:24,814
Double-D Sheree
and Big O.
732
00:50:27,442 --> 00:50:29,986
Yo, we at Tall Oaks
sipping on juice
733
00:50:30,069 --> 00:50:32,280
Got horns, trumpets
rhythm and flutes
734
00:50:32,363 --> 00:50:34,657
Great Falls laying it down
735
00:50:34,741 --> 00:50:37,368
Gonna ride fucking Beechwood
out of the town
736
00:50:37,452 --> 00:50:39,787
J.C., what
rocking the bunch
737
00:50:39,871 --> 00:50:42,915
All tripped out
on the fucking fruit punch
738
00:50:47,754 --> 00:50:50,006
Hey, are you sure
about this? I mean...
739
00:50:50,089 --> 00:50:53,593
I just
want to be respectful.
Oh, that's sweet.
740
00:50:54,052 --> 00:50:57,930
But right now,
I just want you to respect me
real hard and bad.
741
00:50:59,599 --> 00:51:01,476
Lucky son of a bitch.
742
00:51:01,642 --> 00:51:04,270
The only person who's
gonna get laid around here.
743
00:51:13,446 --> 00:51:15,490
Hello, oboe.
744
00:51:32,173 --> 00:51:33,966
This is so cool.
745
00:51:35,676 --> 00:51:40,014
I hope I didn't scare you
with the Rover and the soda.
746
00:51:40,139 --> 00:51:41,974
No, man,
it was cute.
747
00:51:43,017 --> 00:51:46,604
Nobody's ever been
that sweet to me
in my whole life.
748
00:51:47,188 --> 00:51:48,564
Plus, to be honest,
749
00:51:49,357 --> 00:51:52,485
metal really turns me on.
750
00:51:52,985 --> 00:51:53,986
Oh.
751
00:52:19,345 --> 00:52:21,514
Man, the shit's stuck.
752
00:52:45,872 --> 00:52:48,374
Turn off the lights.
Damn, gangsta.
753
00:52:48,499 --> 00:52:49,500
I was just fucking
with you, dawg!
754
00:52:49,584 --> 00:52:51,127
You... It's stuck.
755
00:52:51,210 --> 00:52:53,671
Shit, you want help?
Don't touch me.
756
00:52:55,173 --> 00:52:56,215
Come on.
757
00:52:56,841 --> 00:52:58,259
Maybe you should blow on it.
758
00:52:58,342 --> 00:53:00,219
Maybe you should
blow on it and I'll pull.
759
00:53:00,303 --> 00:53:02,555
Hell, no. Jimmy ain't
putting his lips on that thing.
760
00:53:02,638 --> 00:53:04,098
Jimmy should be
a team player.
761
00:53:04,182 --> 00:53:06,434
- Try and relax, dawg.
- Not so hard.
762
00:53:06,517 --> 00:53:08,060
Oh, my God!
763
00:53:14,525 --> 00:53:16,569
I was just trying to help him
get it off, yo.
764
00:53:16,652 --> 00:53:18,571
Dude, shut up.
765
00:53:18,654 --> 00:53:19,780
Whatever.
766
00:53:19,864 --> 00:53:21,908
He had an allergic reaction
to the valve oil.
767
00:53:21,991 --> 00:53:24,660
The swelling should go down
in a few minutes.
768
00:53:24,911 --> 00:53:29,040
These kinds of things
would never happen
with our old Macro.
769
00:53:50,061 --> 00:53:52,897
We didn't have MTV
when I was growing up.
770
00:53:54,232 --> 00:53:56,817
So maybe it's
the over-stimulated times
771
00:53:56,901 --> 00:54:01,030
that we live in
that causes young men
to stick their
772
00:54:01,739 --> 00:54:04,700
instruments in
such odd places.
773
00:54:06,577 --> 00:54:08,162
I knew a certain
young man once
774
00:54:08,246 --> 00:54:11,582
who actually engaged
in sexual congress
with an apple pie.
775
00:54:11,749 --> 00:54:13,584
And he turned out just fine.
776
00:54:14,126 --> 00:54:17,088
So, you're perfectly normal...
777
00:54:18,214 --> 00:54:19,757
As these things go.
778
00:54:34,146 --> 00:54:35,147
Hey.
779
00:54:38,109 --> 00:54:41,237
Are you okay?
Oh, yeah.
780
00:54:41,320 --> 00:54:45,825
I'm so drunk right now.
I'm probably going
to forget about you
781
00:54:47,285 --> 00:54:49,412
porking an oboe.
782
00:54:58,462 --> 00:55:00,256
I have six piercings.
783
00:55:01,674 --> 00:55:04,302
That doesn't include
the ones on my face.
784
00:55:17,815 --> 00:55:19,233
Two right here...
785
00:55:21,610 --> 00:55:24,655
And four down here.
786
00:55:36,250 --> 00:55:38,210
Haven't seen that
in a while.
787
00:55:38,711 --> 00:55:43,674
Yeah, well, no time
for dance. It's all about
band, band, band.
788
00:55:43,841 --> 00:55:45,843
No, I was talking
about you having fun.
789
00:55:45,926 --> 00:55:49,263
I have fun.
I have fun all the time.
Yeah.
790
00:55:49,347 --> 00:55:51,557
I just get stressed out,
you know. I mean...
791
00:55:52,850 --> 00:55:55,061
We graduate next year,
and I don't know.
792
00:55:55,144 --> 00:55:57,188
I mean, I don't really
talk about it all that much
793
00:55:57,271 --> 00:56:00,232
because the cup is, like,
a team thing, and...
794
00:56:00,316 --> 00:56:03,527
But winning
the Robards Scholarship,
I mean, that is like
795
00:56:03,611 --> 00:56:05,279
my future, you know?
And
796
00:56:06,155 --> 00:56:08,991
Dr. Choi is coming.
I mean,
797
00:56:09,200 --> 00:56:12,661
you don't understand.
She's like famous,
798
00:56:13,204 --> 00:56:16,207
like holy-shit famous.
And, sometimes, I just...
799
00:56:17,208 --> 00:56:18,918
I get really stressed out
800
00:56:19,001 --> 00:56:22,838
and I calm myself down
by going off
and playing on my Picardo.
801
00:56:23,381 --> 00:56:26,092
Wait, you have...
Picardo?
802
00:56:26,425 --> 00:56:29,011
It's just a cheapie,
but I lost it.
803
00:56:29,303 --> 00:56:32,473
Wait, if I somehow found
this Picard thing...
You found it?
804
00:56:32,723 --> 00:56:34,642
Maybe.
Give it back.
805
00:56:34,975 --> 00:56:36,477
If you let me watch.
806
00:56:37,478 --> 00:56:40,481
Okay, but it takes me a while
to warm up.
807
00:56:40,564 --> 00:56:43,025
I have all the time
in the world.
808
00:56:45,653 --> 00:56:46,695
Figures.
809
00:56:48,572 --> 00:56:51,158
But I'm going to have
to be really drunk.
810
00:56:51,784 --> 00:56:55,121
I mean really drunk.
Really drunk.
811
00:56:56,330 --> 00:56:57,331
Yes.
812
00:56:57,915 --> 00:56:59,417
Beat it, jerk off.
813
00:57:18,602 --> 00:57:20,938
Okay, people,
let's take a break.
814
00:57:24,358 --> 00:57:26,485
We're all
a little sluggish today.
815
00:57:28,279 --> 00:57:29,905
Man, we suck.
816
00:57:29,989 --> 00:57:33,534
Man, one night of fun
was not worth losing
a whole day of practice.
817
00:57:37,580 --> 00:57:39,081
Give me this thing.
818
00:57:39,540 --> 00:57:42,126
All right, listen up,
you lazy bunch of lip shits.
819
00:57:42,209 --> 00:57:44,170
Those Beechwood plebes
aren't taking breaks.
820
00:57:44,253 --> 00:57:47,173
We want to win this thing,
we've gotta bust our asses.
821
00:57:47,506 --> 00:57:49,633
Come on, bitches.
Back to work.
822
00:57:49,717 --> 00:57:52,511
Matt, that's my job.
Grab your cocks
and move your socks.
823
00:57:52,595 --> 00:57:54,722
We're at war here,
people, war!
824
00:57:54,805 --> 00:57:56,307
Show some tits.
Grow some balls.
825
00:57:56,390 --> 00:57:58,184
Hey, keep that thing
warm for me.
826
00:57:58,267 --> 00:58:00,853
All right, now.
What, you want to let
Beechwood tittie-fuck us?
827
00:58:00,936 --> 00:58:01,979
I didn't think so.
828
00:58:02,062 --> 00:58:03,856
All right, Tall Oakers,
829
00:58:03,939 --> 00:58:06,984
we're in our final week.
Time to put on our game faces.
830
00:58:07,067 --> 00:58:10,237
And time
to strap yourselves in
for a bumpy ride.
831
00:58:10,362 --> 00:58:12,281
I want the oboe, clarinet,
black thingies
832
00:58:12,406 --> 00:58:15,159
and we've got
the rhythm section
in a full-on blitz.
833
00:58:15,242 --> 00:58:17,328
- Are you with me, bandies?
- Yeah!
834
00:58:17,411 --> 00:58:19,580
Competition for
the Tall Oaks Cup is
835
00:58:19,663 --> 00:58:20,748
really heating up.
836
00:58:23,959 --> 00:58:25,461
Beechwood wins.
837
00:58:27,713 --> 00:58:28,714
Whatever.
838
00:58:28,797 --> 00:58:30,132
I told you,
you should let me steer.
839
00:58:30,257 --> 00:58:31,926
Take that bitch home, man.
840
00:58:32,259 --> 00:58:35,012
Drive it in.
Hey, you, fuck face...
841
00:58:35,095 --> 00:58:36,972
I don't even know
where to start with you.
842
00:58:43,479 --> 00:58:44,813
Beechwood leads.
843
00:58:44,897 --> 00:58:47,149
Great Falls and Lloyd
are tied for second.
844
00:58:47,233 --> 00:58:49,276
Beechwood licks nuts. Hut!
845
00:58:57,826 --> 00:59:00,246
Victory, East Great Falls.
846
00:59:03,541 --> 00:59:05,668
Right foot on line.
847
00:59:07,294 --> 00:59:09,505
Jimmy,
you fucking lotion lover.
848
00:59:16,637 --> 00:59:19,265
East Great Falls
by four points.
849
00:59:28,732 --> 00:59:30,568
Hey, butt pirates ahoy.
850
00:59:31,318 --> 00:59:32,570
Your little band
851
00:59:32,653 --> 00:59:34,613
may be leading
in the competition, Stifler...
852
00:59:36,407 --> 00:59:39,034
...but make sure
to let us know
if you get thirsty.
853
00:59:39,118 --> 00:59:41,078
Yeah, 'cause there's plenty
of this.
854
00:59:46,709 --> 00:59:50,671
That's funny for you dorks.
Yeah, it is, isn't it? Yeah.
855
00:59:50,879 --> 00:59:53,507
Man, screw that challenge.
I'm just gonna kick his ass.
856
00:59:53,591 --> 00:59:55,759
No, wait.
I've got a better idea,
857
00:59:56,677 --> 00:59:58,721
if you think
you're man enough.
858
01:00:10,774 --> 01:00:11,817
Yes.
859
01:00:11,900 --> 01:00:15,070
Hey, you sure you can do this?
Hey, born to be
a porn star, baby.
860
01:00:15,154 --> 01:00:16,572
Delivery on demand.
861
01:00:17,740 --> 01:00:20,784
When I get back, I'll be
a million Stiflers lighter.
862
01:00:28,334 --> 01:00:30,294
Hey, ocupado.
863
01:00:30,377 --> 01:00:31,670
Sorry.
864
01:00:36,342 --> 01:00:37,593
Oh.
865
01:00:52,399 --> 01:00:54,985
Dude, how about
a courtesy flush, man?
866
01:00:55,069 --> 01:00:56,945
I'm trying to concentrate
in here.
867
01:01:02,451 --> 01:01:03,911
Sheree.
868
01:01:10,918 --> 01:01:13,337
Mattie.
869
01:01:13,420 --> 01:01:15,255
Double-D Sheree.
870
01:01:17,299 --> 01:01:19,677
Sheree. Yeah.
871
01:01:22,221 --> 01:01:23,764
Arianna.
872
01:01:25,557 --> 01:01:27,309
Oh, Arianna.
873
01:01:34,441 --> 01:01:35,859
Band, 10-hut!
874
01:01:36,110 --> 01:01:37,361
Leesy.
875
01:01:40,906 --> 01:01:42,741
Yeah, Leesy.
876
01:01:43,701 --> 01:01:44,993
Oh, yeah.
877
01:01:56,171 --> 01:01:57,506
Nurse Sanders.
878
01:01:57,589 --> 01:01:59,717
Go ahead,
give me that shot, baby.
879
01:01:59,800 --> 01:02:01,301
Naughty Nurse.
880
01:02:01,385 --> 01:02:04,221
More. Oh, yeah.
881
01:02:08,642 --> 01:02:10,769
It's coming. Oh, yeah.
882
01:02:12,813 --> 01:02:14,982
Oh, yeah, it's coming.
883
01:02:16,817 --> 01:02:18,610
Claire? No!
884
01:02:20,320 --> 01:02:23,198
Claire. Oh, Claire, baby.
885
01:02:23,407 --> 01:02:25,325
Claire...
886
01:02:25,451 --> 01:02:26,577
Claire...
887
01:02:29,079 --> 01:02:30,497
Claire.
888
01:02:44,845 --> 01:02:47,347
- Courtesy flush.
- Oh, no!
889
01:02:48,515 --> 01:02:50,893
Brandon, I think you're
a really good drummer, so...
890
01:02:50,976 --> 01:02:52,060
Excuse me.
891
01:02:58,692 --> 01:03:00,694
Listen, this is your chance
to help.
892
01:03:04,198 --> 01:03:05,532
Hey, guys,
893
01:03:05,657 --> 01:03:09,369
don't forget your sunscreen.
Your bodies
are your instruments.
894
01:03:09,495 --> 01:03:11,538
Yeah, you don't want to be
chapped for your solos.
895
01:03:11,663 --> 01:03:13,999
No, we don't. Bye now.
896
01:03:19,087 --> 01:03:21,340
What is that, 30?
It's really thick.
897
01:03:31,725 --> 01:03:33,644
How's that taste, Vande-cock?
898
01:03:34,228 --> 01:03:36,355
Mmm! Good, huh?
Warm and salty? Yeah.
899
01:03:36,438 --> 01:03:40,234
It's a cum-pletely
new formula.
100% Stiffy juice...
900
01:03:40,359 --> 01:03:42,444
SPF 69.
901
01:03:49,201 --> 01:03:50,452
Suck on that.
902
01:03:51,578 --> 01:03:53,038
Yeah.
Stop, man.
903
01:03:53,121 --> 01:03:54,832
Yeah.
Ernie.
904
01:03:54,957 --> 01:03:56,375
Yeah.
Ernie.
905
01:04:05,884 --> 01:04:08,512
What you had before
was way better than this.
906
01:04:08,720 --> 01:04:12,558
This sounds like
your overactive
honor-society brain.
907
01:04:13,183 --> 01:04:16,645
Instead of your nasty, wet
908
01:04:17,729 --> 01:04:19,231
dirty-girl panties.
909
01:04:20,107 --> 01:04:22,109
It should be more spontaneous.
910
01:04:25,070 --> 01:04:26,405
Stop.
911
01:04:26,530 --> 01:04:29,324
Maybe you should hang out
with your friend Matt
a little bit more.
912
01:04:29,408 --> 01:04:30,450
Yeah, right.
913
01:04:30,534 --> 01:04:34,079
I know he's a dick
and everything,
but he's also got one.
914
01:04:34,246 --> 01:04:38,542
Make some love music,
you know? And then your notes
will just cum to you.
915
01:04:39,126 --> 01:04:41,378
Oh, Matt!
Stop.
916
01:04:42,588 --> 01:04:44,089
Matt. Matt.
917
01:04:47,259 --> 01:04:49,761
Go long, you asshole. Go.
918
01:04:50,554 --> 01:04:52,431
Hey, Elyse.
919
01:04:53,640 --> 01:04:55,601
Throw it back. Come on.
920
01:04:56,435 --> 01:04:57,895
What you got?
921
01:05:01,189 --> 01:05:02,399
Oh! Oops!
922
01:05:05,611 --> 01:05:06,987
Missed. Sorry.
923
01:05:08,614 --> 01:05:10,324
Hey, if I have to ring
the triangle,
924
01:05:10,407 --> 01:05:12,326
you have to throw
the football, all right?
Okay.
925
01:05:12,409 --> 01:05:14,286
Draw your arm back.
There you go.
926
01:05:14,369 --> 01:05:18,123
Shoulder to your target.
Right. Okay,
now step forward.
927
01:05:18,206 --> 01:05:20,626
Come on we're not marching.
One foot.
928
01:05:20,709 --> 01:05:23,629
Argh. Okay.
You're fine. Ready?
There you go.
929
01:05:23,837 --> 01:05:25,380
Draw the ball
over your ear
930
01:05:25,464 --> 01:05:28,800
and when you throw it,
let it roll right off
your fingers, all right?
931
01:05:29,676 --> 01:05:30,802
Okay.
932
01:05:31,136 --> 01:05:32,638
Come on, throw it.
933
01:05:38,518 --> 01:05:40,312
See? I taught you something.
What?
934
01:05:40,395 --> 01:05:42,898
So every time I throw it,
you're gonna run
and go get it?
935
01:05:42,981 --> 01:05:44,733
That's generally how it works.
936
01:05:44,816 --> 01:05:46,652
Like playing fetch
with my dog.
937
01:05:46,735 --> 01:05:50,530
Yeah, except I don't lick
my own balls.
You would if you could.
938
01:05:50,864 --> 01:05:51,907
Oh, yeah.
939
01:05:53,533 --> 01:05:54,701
Okay, again.
940
01:05:55,661 --> 01:05:56,870
Right here.
941
01:05:58,080 --> 01:06:00,707
Look, that one looks
like a bunny.
942
01:06:01,041 --> 01:06:03,043
- No, it doesn't.
- Uh-huh.
943
01:06:04,378 --> 01:06:06,463
Maybe a bunny with one nut.
944
01:06:06,672 --> 01:06:09,424
No, that's its tail.
Whatever you say.
945
01:06:12,803 --> 01:06:15,889
You think
we'll win this thing?
Hell, yeah, we will.
946
01:06:16,014 --> 01:06:17,849
If you write
in a bagpipe part.
947
01:06:17,933 --> 01:06:20,227
Oh, God, I'll never
make that mistake again.
948
01:06:20,394 --> 01:06:23,438
What?
The eighth grade recital.
949
01:06:24,481 --> 01:06:26,942
You made me write in
a part for you.
950
01:06:29,236 --> 01:06:31,196
You wore your kilt.
951
01:06:32,572 --> 01:06:35,075
Yeah, Steve showed up
with his friends.
952
01:06:35,701 --> 01:06:37,911
They gave me so much shit
for that.
953
01:06:38,245 --> 01:06:40,622
I didn't come out
of my room for days.
954
01:06:40,914 --> 01:06:44,126
You made it up to him
by stealing
all my underwear
955
01:06:44,209 --> 01:06:46,586
so you could run them up
the flagpole.
956
01:06:47,546 --> 01:06:49,381
Including my training bras.
957
01:06:52,467 --> 01:06:55,095
Okay, since we're having
some big fucking
Oprah moment here...
958
01:06:55,178 --> 01:06:57,222
I'm sorry
about your underwear.
959
01:06:57,347 --> 01:06:58,974
And the diary.
960
01:07:01,727 --> 01:07:03,729
And all that other shit, too.
961
01:07:44,061 --> 01:07:45,145
That's it.
962
01:07:45,729 --> 01:07:48,565
You started it.
This is gonna get me
that scholarship.
963
01:07:48,648 --> 01:07:49,691
What?
964
01:07:49,775 --> 01:07:52,444
Oh, I've got to go write
this down
before I forget.
965
01:07:54,112 --> 01:07:55,697
Hey, hey, hey!
966
01:07:56,156 --> 01:07:57,157
Uh...
967
01:07:57,407 --> 01:07:59,409
Could we do this again
tomorrow night?
968
01:07:59,493 --> 01:08:02,454
Yeah, sure.
I'll see you here at sunset.
969
01:08:02,579 --> 01:08:04,039
Hey. Um...
970
01:08:05,248 --> 01:08:07,709
Should I bring that
Picardo thing?
971
01:08:07,793 --> 01:08:10,045
Okay, I'll do a solo for you.
972
01:08:12,547 --> 01:08:13,673
Hey...
973
01:08:20,222 --> 01:08:21,932
- What's up, Ernie?
- Hey.
974
01:08:40,951 --> 01:08:42,953
It was that
fugly nurse again.
975
01:08:58,051 --> 01:08:59,886
Oh, my God.
976
01:08:59,970 --> 01:09:01,304
Matt Stifler?
977
01:09:02,055 --> 01:09:06,768
Holy shit, look at you.
Arianna,
what are you doing here?
978
01:09:06,852 --> 01:09:10,188
We practice our routine
with the band.
What are you doing here?
979
01:09:10,313 --> 01:09:12,691
I had to come.
The school made me.
980
01:09:13,692 --> 01:09:17,112
Does anybody know
about this yet?
Oh, they do now.
981
01:09:18,155 --> 01:09:21,283
Hey, come on, no pictures.
What're you,
the papa-tit-zzy?
982
01:09:21,366 --> 01:09:23,118
Holy shit,
this is so hilarious.
Smile.
983
01:09:23,201 --> 01:09:27,038
Ladies.
No time for fraternizing.
984
01:09:28,039 --> 01:09:32,169
Get the bags.
Guess I'll see you around,
bandy.
985
01:09:32,335 --> 01:09:36,548
What a dork.
I'm going to email this
to everybody.
986
01:09:58,904 --> 01:10:01,740
Girls, that was great.
Percussion, take five.
987
01:10:01,823 --> 01:10:03,575
Horns, we've got to work
on intonation.
988
01:10:03,658 --> 01:10:06,244
The final performance
is tomorrow, you guys.
989
01:10:07,078 --> 01:10:08,914
They're so lame.
990
01:10:09,915 --> 01:10:12,334
You play the triangle.
How cute.
991
01:10:13,168 --> 01:10:16,338
No, I don't.
Look, I told you...
992
01:10:17,005 --> 01:10:18,340
- I had to...
- I gotta go.
993
01:10:18,423 --> 01:10:21,760
I don't socialize
with bandies.
I'm not a fucking bandy.
994
01:10:22,093 --> 01:10:25,764
I'm not. Look.
I've just been acting
like a geek.
995
01:10:26,097 --> 01:10:29,017
I've been playing them
so I could get them
on hidden video.
996
01:10:29,100 --> 01:10:32,687
I've been secretly
videotaping them
doing all this crazy shit.
997
01:10:33,605 --> 01:10:36,608
Really?
Yeah, I could show you.
998
01:10:39,277 --> 01:10:41,613
Okay, come by after dinner.
999
01:10:42,113 --> 01:10:44,741
I'll leave my pompoms
in the window for you.
1000
01:11:18,066 --> 01:11:19,234
You're late.
1001
01:11:19,317 --> 01:11:21,361
Yeah, no shit.
Open the window.
1002
01:11:24,197 --> 01:11:26,116
Hold on. Be careful with it.
1003
01:11:35,333 --> 01:11:38,586
All right, one condition
before I show you
the fruits of my labors.
1004
01:11:38,670 --> 01:11:39,879
What's that?
1005
01:11:40,088 --> 01:11:42,465
I want that picture
on that camera phone erased.
1006
01:11:54,686 --> 01:11:55,937
Nobody at school hears
1007
01:11:56,021 --> 01:11:57,814
about the triangle
or the beanie.
1008
01:11:57,897 --> 01:12:00,525
I don't want anybody
to think
I'm a dorky-ass bandy
1009
01:12:00,608 --> 01:12:02,527
Fine. Like,
now can we get on with it?
1010
01:12:02,610 --> 01:12:05,613
As soon as you get rid of that
picture of me on your phone.
1011
01:12:20,462 --> 01:12:21,671
Are you going into town?
1012
01:12:21,755 --> 01:12:23,298
Not tonight. I'm too tired.
1013
01:12:23,381 --> 01:12:26,009
Besides,
they're much hotter here.
1014
01:12:26,092 --> 01:12:29,012
I know.
It's a great crop this year.
1015
01:12:43,818 --> 01:12:47,739
There. Done deal.
Now can we see the video?
1016
01:12:48,615 --> 01:12:49,991
Stiffmeister Productions
1017
01:12:50,075 --> 01:12:53,661
in association with
its talented new director,
Matthew Stifler,
1018
01:12:53,745 --> 01:12:55,747
is happy to premier
the unedited,
1019
01:12:55,830 --> 01:13:00,293
unfiltered,
and un-fucking-believable
Bandeez Gone Wild.
1020
01:13:01,628 --> 01:13:02,837
Oh, yeah.
1021
01:13:07,133 --> 01:13:10,678
Oh, my God.
That is unbelievable.
1022
01:13:33,576 --> 01:13:36,121
- You're kidding me, right?
- That's great.
1023
01:13:37,372 --> 01:13:38,748
Danielle likes Jimmy,
1024
01:13:38,832 --> 01:13:40,583
but she's like
a foot taller than him.
1025
01:13:40,667 --> 01:13:42,085
And wait till you hear this.
1026
01:13:42,210 --> 01:13:44,754
Sheree slept with that
big Oscar guy, the drummer.
1027
01:13:44,879 --> 01:13:46,381
Said he was amazing.
1028
01:13:46,923 --> 01:13:50,135
Well, I hooked up
with Brandon once.
Some drummer. He has
1029
01:13:50,218 --> 01:13:52,137
no rhythm,
and he can't even bang
very long.
1030
01:13:52,220 --> 01:13:54,013
Oh, my God.
Are you serious?
1031
01:13:54,097 --> 01:13:58,226
Yeah, he's a preemie.
And I'm not talking about
the day he was born, either.
1032
01:13:59,978 --> 01:14:02,814
Can you get my back?
I think I got a little bit
of sun today?
1033
01:14:02,897 --> 01:14:03,982
Sure.
1034
01:14:04,065 --> 01:14:06,901
Get this. He has one ball.
1035
01:14:07,444 --> 01:14:09,779
No way.
One ball.
1036
01:14:11,239 --> 01:14:14,409
Yeah, that's why he carries
that big stick around
everywhere.
1037
01:14:14,492 --> 01:14:16,536
It's got his other ball
on top.
1038
01:14:20,832 --> 01:14:22,584
Shit, shit, oh, shit.
1039
01:14:25,879 --> 01:14:27,380
What is that thing?
1040
01:14:41,436 --> 01:14:42,770
Let's kill it.
1041
01:14:43,271 --> 01:14:44,272
Where'd he go?
1042
01:14:44,355 --> 01:14:45,356
There he is.
1043
01:14:45,440 --> 01:14:46,608
Look out.
1044
01:15:26,481 --> 01:15:28,399
This is going into the lake.
1045
01:15:29,442 --> 01:15:31,903
No one's gonna know
about your little video.
1046
01:15:31,986 --> 01:15:34,656
'Cause the shit
you got us doing on tape...
1047
01:15:39,661 --> 01:15:43,331
So we got a contest to win
tomorrow. And I don't want
to see you.
1048
01:15:43,748 --> 01:15:45,124
Understand?
1049
01:15:51,005 --> 01:15:52,465
Did you help him?
1050
01:16:17,282 --> 01:16:18,908
With East Great Falls
in the lead,
1051
01:16:18,992 --> 01:16:21,786
Beechwood has to win
the Band Camp Playoffs.
1052
01:16:21,869 --> 01:16:25,248
Direct yourselves
to the marching field
in one hour.
1053
01:16:25,540 --> 01:16:28,918
Now, Dr. Choi,
Brandon Vandecamp
from Beechwood
1054
01:16:29,002 --> 01:16:31,296
is our best musician by far
1055
01:16:31,379 --> 01:16:36,301
and his father, Landon,
is our best donor,
also by far.
1056
01:16:37,468 --> 01:16:39,512
Robards needs talented musicians
1057
01:16:39,596 --> 01:16:42,223
as much as
we need talented donors.
1058
01:16:49,022 --> 01:16:50,356
Ipecac.
1059
01:16:52,734 --> 01:16:55,987
So how's it going?
Are you having fun?
It's okay.
1060
01:17:01,367 --> 01:17:03,661
How about some Ipecac,
Vande-cooch?
1061
01:17:06,581 --> 01:17:10,460
This herbal fucking extract
will help you Beechwood fief
play in tune, huh?
1062
01:17:12,003 --> 01:17:13,046
Shit.
1063
01:17:20,511 --> 01:17:21,512
Hey!
1064
01:17:22,513 --> 01:17:24,932
I told you
I don't want to see you
anymore, Stifler.
1065
01:17:25,016 --> 01:17:27,185
Someday,
you'll thank me, asshole.
1066
01:17:31,981 --> 01:17:33,024
Orange?
1067
01:17:33,816 --> 01:17:34,942
Again?
1068
01:17:35,234 --> 01:17:37,278
Damn.
That orange shit is janky.
1069
01:17:37,362 --> 01:17:39,280
I'm feeling grape, dawg.
1070
01:17:42,158 --> 01:17:44,118
I don't care how
many times they won.
1071
01:17:44,202 --> 01:17:46,120
They're not getting
the grape today.
1072
01:17:46,204 --> 01:17:48,581
That's what I'm talking about.
1073
01:17:50,249 --> 01:17:53,127
Your five-time
defending champion,
1074
01:17:53,753 --> 01:17:55,588
Beechwood Academy.
1075
01:18:27,578 --> 01:18:28,621
They're tight.
1076
01:18:28,705 --> 01:18:30,998
Yeah, they're better
than ever this year.
1077
01:18:31,082 --> 01:18:32,542
Okay, everybody.
1078
01:18:33,042 --> 01:18:35,253
It's no surprise
Beechwood is good.
1079
01:18:35,586 --> 01:18:39,132
But this year is different.
This year, we can beat them.
1080
01:18:40,091 --> 01:18:43,261
We've worked hard,
and we are good enough
1081
01:18:43,386 --> 01:18:45,930
and this is our time,
so let's win the cup.
1082
01:18:46,055 --> 01:18:48,224
Yeah!
1083
01:19:23,009 --> 01:19:24,719
Beechwood Academy.
1084
01:19:24,802 --> 01:19:28,347
Their music today was composed
by senior drum major,
1085
01:19:28,431 --> 01:19:30,391
Brandon Vandecamp.
1086
01:19:30,558 --> 01:19:32,685
Beat that. Hoo, ha.
1087
01:19:34,645 --> 01:19:38,191
East Great Falls,
you may enter the field for competition.
1088
01:19:55,500 --> 01:19:58,669
- Band 10 hut. One, two, ready.
- Shit.
1089
01:19:58,753 --> 01:20:00,338
Leesy, wait, no.
1090
01:20:00,421 --> 01:20:02,465
No. Wait.
1091
01:20:12,892 --> 01:20:15,102
You know, I'm so sorry.
I don't know what happened.
1092
01:20:15,186 --> 01:20:17,355
Not my shoes. Here we go.
1093
01:20:22,193 --> 01:20:23,277
Stifler!
1094
01:20:40,962 --> 01:20:43,381
You know, you're like
your brother, Steve.
1095
01:20:43,464 --> 01:20:46,259
And I don't think those
are the shoes you should be
so eager to fill.
1096
01:20:47,051 --> 01:20:50,137
You know, the people
Steve thought
were his friends
1097
01:20:50,263 --> 01:20:52,890
really didn't like him
very much.
What?
1098
01:20:52,974 --> 01:20:54,433
But I think you're different.
1099
01:20:54,517 --> 01:20:58,771
I think people want
to like you, Matt.
You just make it really hard.
1100
01:21:09,949 --> 01:21:11,158
Hoo! Ha!
1101
01:21:13,202 --> 01:21:17,081
Parting is such sweet sorrow.
When you're a loser.
1102
01:21:23,462 --> 01:21:27,717
Mr. Levenstein reports that
there were a few incidents
1103
01:21:27,800 --> 01:21:29,135
at camp.
1104
01:21:29,635 --> 01:21:32,138
But he also says that
1105
01:21:32,263 --> 01:21:35,975
you bonded
with the band briefly.
1106
01:21:40,062 --> 01:21:44,317
When school starts,
you're going to be
on a very short leash.
1107
01:21:44,483 --> 01:21:48,279
Remember, the Shermanator
sees it all.
1108
01:21:49,989 --> 01:21:51,282
Be gone.
1109
01:21:56,162 --> 01:21:58,372
Did everybody hate my brother?
1110
01:22:09,759 --> 01:22:13,220
Stardate, August 21, 2005.
1111
01:22:13,679 --> 01:22:16,057
Some progress made
with Stiffy Junior.
1112
01:22:16,515 --> 01:22:18,935
Behavior modification evident.
1113
01:22:20,394 --> 01:22:22,188
Will continue to monitor.
1114
01:22:22,772 --> 01:22:25,024
Shermanator out.
1115
01:22:36,202 --> 01:22:38,621
A little "Double-D Sheree"
action.
1116
01:22:43,209 --> 01:22:45,086
Little bit of Dr. Robot.
1117
01:22:46,921 --> 01:22:48,255
Crazy fucker.
1118
01:23:56,699 --> 01:23:58,034
Hey, Stifler,
where's your instrument?
1119
01:23:58,117 --> 01:23:59,326
Dude,
you're in the wrong uniform.
1120
01:23:59,410 --> 01:24:02,288
Screw them, dude.
They're gonna freak out
when they see the video.
1121
01:24:02,371 --> 01:24:04,540
Look, we thought
that if we had
an advance screening,
1122
01:24:04,623 --> 01:24:06,709
then everyone would see
that you're not really a dork.
1123
01:24:06,792 --> 01:24:09,211
I can't. It's gone.
1124
01:24:10,254 --> 01:24:13,424
What?
The video, man, I deleted it.
1125
01:24:14,425 --> 01:24:15,468
Why?
1126
01:24:16,385 --> 01:24:19,055
Guess little bro's quitting
the family business.
1127
01:24:19,138 --> 01:24:20,639
Are you kidding me?
1128
01:24:24,143 --> 01:24:26,103
He went fucking
bandy on us.
1129
01:24:42,495 --> 01:24:43,996
Hey, what's up, guys?
1130
01:24:44,830 --> 01:24:46,791
You a dead man, motherfucker.
1131
01:24:47,583 --> 01:24:49,585
You, too, little man.
Wait, wait, wait, wait.
1132
01:24:49,919 --> 01:24:53,798
Dude, the purple puke
was an accident.
Somebody switched the coolers.
1133
01:24:58,511 --> 01:25:00,679
Hey, that orange shit
is janky, yo.
1134
01:25:01,931 --> 01:25:06,393
Chloe, we never saw Elyse,
you know, naked.
1135
01:25:07,061 --> 01:25:09,021
Matt turned off the computer.
1136
01:25:09,897 --> 01:25:12,525
So we're just supposed
to forgive him now?
1137
01:25:13,400 --> 01:25:16,112
He's still an asshole.
You're right.
1138
01:25:17,113 --> 01:25:18,447
I am an asshole.
1139
01:25:18,864 --> 01:25:21,117
I can't take back
spying on you
1140
01:25:21,200 --> 01:25:23,577
and I can't win
that Bandy Cup thing.
1141
01:25:23,702 --> 01:25:26,580
But I can help someone
get what she deserves.
1142
01:25:27,414 --> 01:25:29,583
I'm not asking you
to forgive me.
1143
01:25:29,792 --> 01:25:32,378
Just help me help Elyse.
1144
01:25:43,305 --> 01:25:44,682
I got the number.
1145
01:25:44,765 --> 01:25:45,808
Go ahead.
1146
01:25:45,891 --> 01:25:49,478
555-0171.
1147
01:25:51,397 --> 01:25:54,150
He shouldn't have been dumping
Ipecac in anyone's cooler.
1148
01:25:54,233 --> 01:25:56,068
We could've won on our own.
1149
01:25:58,404 --> 01:26:02,575
I don't even care
that he saw me on camera.
Well, I mean I do, but...
1150
01:26:03,826 --> 01:26:06,078
Honey, this just came for you.
1151
01:26:09,832 --> 01:26:11,292
It's from Robards.
1152
01:26:12,751 --> 01:26:14,044
What's it say?
1153
01:26:15,796 --> 01:26:18,382
Dr. Choi wants to meet
with me?
1154
01:26:36,233 --> 01:26:38,235
Okay.
Okay.
1155
01:26:38,444 --> 01:26:40,362
Okay.
Okay.
1156
01:26:42,031 --> 01:26:43,115
Bye.
1157
01:26:59,340 --> 01:27:01,759
Hi. Elyse Houston.
1158
01:27:03,010 --> 01:27:05,804
I have an appointment
with Dr. Choi.
1159
01:27:06,847 --> 01:27:10,476
You're not in the book.
Oh, no, there must be
some mistake. See...
1160
01:27:12,186 --> 01:27:13,562
I have a letter.
1161
01:27:19,151 --> 01:27:20,986
This letter is, well...
1162
01:27:21,737 --> 01:27:22,905
It's a fake.
1163
01:27:23,656 --> 01:27:26,617
This is not
Dr. Choi's signature.
What?
1164
01:27:39,838 --> 01:27:40,965
Stifler.
1165
01:27:44,718 --> 01:27:47,012
You son of a bitch.
1166
01:27:48,681 --> 01:27:53,018
What? It wasn't enough
for you to humiliate me
at Band Camp?
1167
01:27:53,143 --> 01:27:55,813
Now you have to
set me up here?
1168
01:28:16,333 --> 01:28:18,043
What's going on here?
1169
01:28:19,461 --> 01:28:20,921
This is my band.
1170
01:28:21,380 --> 01:28:23,257
And that's her music.
1171
01:29:21,607 --> 01:29:22,691
Well...
1172
01:29:23,275 --> 01:29:26,945
I've certainly seen
some interesting attempts
to gain admission,
1173
01:29:27,613 --> 01:29:29,281
but this is a first.
1174
01:29:30,783 --> 01:29:35,037
Excellent audition,
Miss Houston. Let's go
discuss that scholarship.
1175
01:29:35,621 --> 01:29:37,956
Um, I thought Brandon won.
1176
01:29:38,082 --> 01:29:41,377
No, Mr. Vandecamp
was disqualified
for plagiarism.
1177
01:29:41,460 --> 01:29:42,711
All right.
1178
01:29:44,797 --> 01:29:46,882
That's what
I'm talking about, yo.
1179
01:29:51,053 --> 01:29:53,430
Oh, my God, you guys,
that was amazing.
1180
01:29:53,972 --> 01:29:58,060
Thank you so much.
Thank him. It was his idea.
1181
01:29:58,143 --> 01:29:59,144
Word.
1182
01:30:01,980 --> 01:30:05,609
You planned all this?
With some friends.
1183
01:30:08,821 --> 01:30:10,155
Come here.
1184
01:30:10,614 --> 01:30:12,116
Ow.
1185
01:30:13,242 --> 01:30:17,121
Oh, I believe this is yours.
1186
01:30:18,247 --> 01:30:19,415
You know...
1187
01:30:20,124 --> 01:30:24,169
Picardo is a brand of piccolo.
1188
01:30:25,129 --> 01:30:27,464
You really are an asshole
sometimes...
1189
01:30:27,840 --> 01:30:28,924
Stiffy.
1190
01:33:49,875 --> 01:33:52,044
Man, change the channel, yo.
1191
01:33:52,336 --> 01:33:55,088
Hook a brother up
with some mad beats.
1192
01:33:55,172 --> 01:33:56,840
Will you cut that out?
1193
01:33:57,341 --> 01:33:59,509
Your name is
James Hi Ping Chong.
1194
01:33:59,635 --> 01:34:01,261
Your dad owns
a Chinese restaurant.
1195
01:34:01,345 --> 01:34:04,056
You live in the suburbs.
You ain't never gonna
be a gangsta.
1196
01:34:04,681 --> 01:34:05,724
Damn!
1197
01:34:08,393 --> 01:34:09,686
That's cold, dawg.
86484
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