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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,169 --> 00:00:03,504 Jeff, we just got this in. Do we have time to run this? 2 00:00:03,505 --> 00:00:05,548 - Stand by, camera one. - In four, three, two... 3 00:00:05,549 --> 00:00:07,467 - Yeah, got it. - All right, let's go then. 4 00:00:09,761 --> 00:00:11,595 {\an8}Hello, and welcome to Soccer Saturday. 5 00:00:11,596 --> 00:00:14,223 {\an8}I'm Jeff Stelling, here with George Cartrick 6 00:00:14,224 --> 00:00:15,308 and Clinton Morrison. 7 00:00:15,976 --> 00:00:18,811 {\an8}Now, the hottest team in the country is clearly Richmond 8 00:00:18,812 --> 00:00:25,317 {\an8}on a ten-game winning streak on the back of some inspired play by Sam Obisanya. 9 00:00:25,318 --> 00:00:29,530 {\an8}Jeff, you have to think Sam Obisanya will make his Nigeria debut, 10 00:00:29,531 --> 00:00:31,199 {\an8}or the world's gone truly mad. 11 00:00:32,158 --> 00:00:33,659 {\an8}But our top story: 12 00:00:33,660 --> 00:00:36,996 {\an8}the mysterious managerial vacancy at West Ham United. 13 00:00:36,997 --> 00:00:41,417 {\an8}The club has suddenly parted ways with the Wonder Kid, Nathan Shelley. 14 00:00:41,418 --> 00:00:43,711 {\an8}It's a shocker, Jeff. They were having a great season. 15 00:00:43,712 --> 00:00:47,756 {\an8}Yeah, but look, Nate Shelley isn't the reason West Ham are in second place. 16 00:00:47,757 --> 00:00:50,676 {\an8}I mean, "Wonder Kid"? Come on. 17 00:00:50,677 --> 00:00:53,345 {\an8}He was my kit man, for God's sake. 18 00:00:53,346 --> 00:00:56,683 {\an8}No, Rupert Mannion is the brains behind this whole operation. 19 00:00:57,809 --> 00:01:00,853 {\an8}Okay. Let's turn our attention to the international break. 20 00:01:00,854 --> 00:01:03,188 {\an8}National squad announcements are trickling in. 21 00:01:03,189 --> 00:01:06,568 {\an8}Which players will get the honor of representing their country? 22 00:01:10,363 --> 00:01:11,989 All right, fellas, great play out there today. 23 00:01:11,990 --> 00:01:14,826 Congratulations on yet another victorious outcome! 24 00:01:17,662 --> 00:01:18,663 That's right. 25 00:01:19,539 --> 00:01:21,081 Hey, quick reminder. 26 00:01:21,082 --> 00:01:23,709 Because of the break in our schedule due to international play, 27 00:01:23,710 --> 00:01:26,046 there is no game next week, all right? 28 00:01:28,215 --> 00:01:30,341 All right. Hey, look, kind of hurts my feelings 29 00:01:30,342 --> 00:01:33,093 y'all don't want to spend next weekend with me, if I'm being honest. 30 00:01:33,094 --> 00:01:35,846 But I am the strong silent type, so I ain't gonna let you know. 31 00:01:35,847 --> 00:01:38,724 But I'm also loud and weak, because I, like all humans, 32 00:01:38,725 --> 00:01:40,352 contain multitudes. Am I right? 33 00:01:41,186 --> 00:01:42,478 Great speech. 34 00:01:42,479 --> 00:01:45,648 Anyhoo, we want to say good night and good luck to the fellas on our squad 35 00:01:45,649 --> 00:01:48,400 that have been chosen to represent their home country next week. 36 00:01:48,401 --> 00:01:49,985 Coach, who we talking about? 37 00:01:49,986 --> 00:01:54,407 Just up the way at Wembley, making his debut for England, Jamie Tartt! 38 00:01:56,243 --> 00:01:57,143 Go! 39 00:02:01,206 --> 00:02:04,833 Taking the plane to Toronto to play goal for Canada, Van Damme! 40 00:02:04,834 --> 00:02:06,252 He's got a plane ticket. 41 00:02:06,253 --> 00:02:10,048 Who will be going up against Mexico and Dani Rojas! 42 00:02:14,553 --> 00:02:15,554 Oh, boy. 43 00:02:16,054 --> 00:02:18,431 Bumbercatch holding it down for Switzerland. 44 00:02:19,391 --> 00:02:20,433 My guy! 45 00:02:21,017 --> 00:02:23,894 - Wait, hold on. Bumbercatch, you're Swiss? - Yeah. Look at me. 46 00:02:23,895 --> 00:02:25,438 No, you're right. Yeah. All right. 47 00:02:26,439 --> 00:02:29,192 - And repping Wales, Colin Hughes! - Hey, there he is. 48 00:02:30,110 --> 00:02:31,236 Let's go, boyo. 49 00:02:34,948 --> 00:02:35,949 Is that it? 50 00:02:36,700 --> 00:02:37,701 And that's it. 51 00:02:42,539 --> 00:02:46,542 Okay. All right, well, let's go ahead and wish our friends safe travels 52 00:02:46,543 --> 00:02:47,877 and Godspeed, 53 00:02:47,878 --> 00:02:51,297 or whatever narcotic your deity chooses to self-medicate with. 54 00:02:51,298 --> 00:02:53,174 Rest of y'all, see ya on Monday. 55 00:03:04,978 --> 00:03:06,312 Oi, 24. 56 00:03:06,313 --> 00:03:07,856 They fucked you, man. I'm sorry. 57 00:03:08,815 --> 00:03:09,649 It's okay. 58 00:03:09,650 --> 00:03:11,568 Hey, congrats to you though. 59 00:03:14,237 --> 00:03:15,404 Listen. You good, yeah? 60 00:03:15,405 --> 00:03:16,865 Yeah. Of course. 61 00:03:24,998 --> 00:03:26,750 Hey, yo. Congrats, bro. 62 00:03:30,212 --> 00:03:31,296 I am not your bro. 63 00:03:32,464 --> 00:03:35,884 We are now enemies, and soon, you will be my bitch. 64 00:03:44,142 --> 00:03:45,352 What the f... 65 00:04:07,499 --> 00:04:09,668 So you're telling me it only shows up once a month? 66 00:04:10,919 --> 00:04:13,213 - And it never skips a month? - Only if you're pregnant. 67 00:04:14,089 --> 00:04:16,549 {\an8}Well, shoot. I got to check out this wine delivery service. 68 00:04:16,550 --> 00:04:18,175 {\an8}Sounds like a real corker. Yes. 69 00:04:19,094 --> 00:04:20,094 Did you hear about Nathan? 70 00:04:20,095 --> 00:04:22,222 - I did. - What do we think happened there? 71 00:04:22,847 --> 00:04:26,267 {\an8}Well, boss, I'm like an incomplete list of Madeline Kahn's best films: 72 00:04:26,268 --> 00:04:27,352 I ain't got no clue. 73 00:04:28,311 --> 00:04:30,020 And it ain't really none of my business anyhow. 74 00:04:30,021 --> 00:04:33,024 Ted, look, I mean this in the nicest way possible, 75 00:04:33,608 --> 00:04:35,276 but you suck at girl talk. 76 00:04:35,277 --> 00:04:37,070 I know. I just don't like gossip. 77 00:04:37,821 --> 00:04:41,032 {\an8}It's not gossip, Ted. It's speculation. 78 00:04:41,533 --> 00:04:44,535 I've actually been hearing rumblings of inappropriate workplace behavior 79 00:04:44,536 --> 00:04:47,539 - over at West Ham. - See? Excellent girl talk. 80 00:04:48,665 --> 00:04:51,501 {\an8}So, chaps, what do we think? 81 00:04:52,419 --> 00:04:55,297 {\an8}Is Nathan capable of being involved in something like that? 82 00:04:56,506 --> 00:04:58,132 - No. - Nah. 83 00:04:58,133 --> 00:04:59,800 {\an8}- Good morning. - Hello, Leslie. 84 00:04:59,801 --> 00:05:02,846 {\an8}So, I heard some interesting scuttlebutt last night. 85 00:05:03,597 --> 00:05:06,056 {\an8}I don't like gossip, but my butt don't mind a little scuttle. 86 00:05:06,057 --> 00:05:07,516 Go on, Leslie. 87 00:05:07,517 --> 00:05:09,852 Edwin Akufo's back in town. 88 00:05:09,853 --> 00:05:11,353 What now? 89 00:05:11,354 --> 00:05:12,688 Apparently, he's sniffing around 90 00:05:12,689 --> 00:05:15,774 about trying to create a Super League of some sort. 91 00:05:15,775 --> 00:05:16,984 Where did you hear this? 92 00:05:16,985 --> 00:05:19,654 Well, Rebecca, I am the director of Football Operations. 93 00:05:20,655 --> 00:05:23,574 And a bunch of us DFOs have a little jazz jam band 94 00:05:23,575 --> 00:05:26,786 we call "The Directors of Beboperations." 95 00:05:27,495 --> 00:05:29,122 {\an8}Akufo came up at rehearsal. 96 00:05:30,665 --> 00:05:32,000 {\an8}This is not good. 97 00:05:33,209 --> 00:05:36,003 {\an8}I'm sorry. Why is it so bad that a billionaire wants to put together 98 00:05:36,004 --> 00:05:37,589 {\an8}a bunch of superheroes to fight crime? 99 00:05:38,173 --> 00:05:40,007 {\an8}Ted, you're thinking of the Justice League. 100 00:05:40,008 --> 00:05:41,468 {\an8}God, dang it. Yeah, I am. 101 00:05:42,052 --> 00:05:44,803 {\an8}Super League is when the world's biggest and wealthiest teams 102 00:05:44,804 --> 00:05:46,138 {\an8}decide to compete against each other. 103 00:05:46,139 --> 00:05:49,808 {\an8}So, not only would David never get to face Goliath, 104 00:05:49,809 --> 00:05:52,854 {\an8}the Davids could cease to exist altogether. 105 00:05:53,438 --> 00:05:54,438 {\an8}Wow. 106 00:05:54,439 --> 00:05:56,999 {\an8}You know, I wouldn't be surprised if Rupert was involved in this. 107 00:06:00,237 --> 00:06:01,655 {\an8}Speak of the devil. 108 00:06:11,414 --> 00:06:13,540 - It was Rupert. - Yes. 109 00:06:13,541 --> 00:06:15,876 Sorry. Okay. I thought it was the actual devil for a second. 110 00:06:15,877 --> 00:06:16,962 - Oh, yeah. - Yeah. 111 00:06:28,682 --> 00:06:29,683 Are you alive? 112 00:06:30,267 --> 00:06:31,935 {\an8}Unfortunately, yeah. 113 00:06:34,187 --> 00:06:35,188 You're okay. 114 00:06:38,567 --> 00:06:39,567 Am I an idiot? 115 00:06:39,568 --> 00:06:41,193 Sometimes, yes. 116 00:06:41,194 --> 00:06:44,948 No, I meant for quitting my job. 117 00:06:47,117 --> 00:06:48,868 Do you wish you hadn't? 118 00:06:51,538 --> 00:06:52,706 Then there's your answer. 119 00:06:57,961 --> 00:06:59,401 {\an8}I just don't know what I'm gonna do. 120 00:07:00,046 --> 00:07:01,298 Do you need me to stay? 121 00:07:02,883 --> 00:07:06,052 {\an8}No. No, that's... No, I'm okay. 122 00:07:08,054 --> 00:07:09,723 Do you want to come to Poland with me? 123 00:07:10,724 --> 00:07:12,976 You can help me and my family screw in light bulbs. 124 00:07:14,060 --> 00:07:16,021 - That's very funny. - Why is it funny? 125 00:07:19,024 --> 00:07:20,775 I don't know. Sorry. I... No. 126 00:07:25,572 --> 00:07:27,991 - I'll see you in a few days. - Thank you. 127 00:07:55,936 --> 00:07:57,479 Can you tell us about Coach Shelley? 128 00:08:00,690 --> 00:08:02,192 Hey, Nate! Nate! 129 00:08:17,165 --> 00:08:18,165 - Hi. - Sorry. 130 00:08:18,166 --> 00:08:19,376 - It's all right. - Thanks. 131 00:08:21,836 --> 00:08:22,837 Shit. 132 00:08:32,597 --> 00:08:35,683 Keeley, you are the nicest boss I've ever had. 133 00:08:36,308 --> 00:08:37,309 Thank you, Dan. 134 00:08:37,310 --> 00:08:40,145 And definitely the hottest. 135 00:08:40,897 --> 00:08:42,481 That's a complicated compliment. 136 00:08:43,817 --> 00:08:44,817 Thank you. 137 00:08:44,818 --> 00:08:45,902 Yeah. 138 00:08:49,906 --> 00:08:52,117 Barbara, what's going on? Are we being slowly robbed? 139 00:08:53,660 --> 00:08:56,161 Wait. I'm sorry. You haven't spoken with Jack? 140 00:08:56,162 --> 00:08:58,205 I haven't heard from Jack in weeks. 141 00:08:58,206 --> 00:09:03,419 But she emailed me last night to say that she was gonna reach out and tell you. 142 00:09:03,420 --> 00:09:05,088 Tell me what, Barbara? 143 00:09:10,844 --> 00:09:14,598 The board of the VC have decided to pull funding. 144 00:09:17,100 --> 00:09:18,810 They're shutting down KJPR. 145 00:09:21,021 --> 00:09:22,022 What? 146 00:09:23,815 --> 00:09:24,649 When? 147 00:09:24,650 --> 00:09:27,318 Oh, well, don't worry, we've got plenty of time. 148 00:09:27,319 --> 00:09:30,363 - We don't have to be out till Friday. - It's Wednesday. 149 00:09:31,406 --> 00:09:34,409 Yeah. I suppose that is quite soon, isn't it? 150 00:09:35,118 --> 00:09:37,412 Especially if you didn't get the email last night. 151 00:10:06,775 --> 00:10:10,445 I mean, if he doesn't want to coach West Ham for millions, I'll bloody do it. 152 00:10:13,281 --> 00:10:14,449 What a wanker. 153 00:10:30,215 --> 00:10:32,968 Pineapple juice or apple juice? 154 00:10:38,223 --> 00:10:39,474 Hi. 155 00:10:41,518 --> 00:10:42,644 Hey, Dani! 156 00:10:45,063 --> 00:10:46,314 Dani, what's up, man? 157 00:10:47,649 --> 00:10:48,817 He's my teammate. 158 00:10:54,197 --> 00:10:57,117 Dani, you want some chips? 159 00:11:26,229 --> 00:11:27,938 Boy, oh, boy. 160 00:11:27,939 --> 00:11:31,233 Tell you what, Sam had himself a case of the mean reds out there today, yeah? 161 00:11:31,234 --> 00:11:32,776 I don't fucking blame him. 162 00:11:32,777 --> 00:11:35,280 It's hard to see the ball when your eyes are full of tears. 163 00:11:37,032 --> 00:11:38,074 Hey, Sam! 164 00:11:38,825 --> 00:11:41,035 Hey, look, I know this week ain't been easy on ya. 165 00:11:41,036 --> 00:11:44,204 But don't forget, even the great Michael Jordan himself 166 00:11:44,205 --> 00:11:46,206 didn't make his high school varsity basketball team. 167 00:11:46,207 --> 00:11:47,375 - Yeah? - Yes, Coach. 168 00:11:48,501 --> 00:11:50,920 But wasn't that because he was only a 5'10" sophomore 169 00:11:50,921 --> 00:11:53,797 and the team was in need of height, so they sent him to the junior varsity 170 00:11:53,798 --> 00:11:55,466 with the hope that he would develop physically? 171 00:11:55,467 --> 00:11:57,886 Which he did, growing 5 inches the very next summer. 172 00:11:58,595 --> 00:11:59,970 I mean, if you know all the details, 173 00:11:59,971 --> 00:12:01,889 it does render the story a little less motivational, 174 00:12:01,890 --> 00:12:03,474 but my point still stands. 175 00:12:03,475 --> 00:12:05,059 Keep your head up. Be a goldfish. 176 00:12:05,060 --> 00:12:06,728 - All right? - Okay. 177 00:12:11,524 --> 00:12:12,525 Boom! 178 00:12:13,151 --> 00:12:16,404 Tonight, me and Jane have reserved an axe-throwing lane at Hatchet and Rye. 179 00:12:16,988 --> 00:12:18,740 You fellas care to join the festivities? 180 00:12:19,324 --> 00:12:22,326 That sounds equal parts fun and dangerous. What are y'all celebrating? 181 00:12:22,327 --> 00:12:25,288 Karma's speedy delivery of a shit sandwich to the Wonder Turd. 182 00:12:25,956 --> 00:12:27,082 Here, Jane made targets. 183 00:12:32,003 --> 00:12:35,005 Don't you feel it's bad karma to celebrate someone else's bad karma? 184 00:12:35,006 --> 00:12:36,924 No. You in? 185 00:12:36,925 --> 00:12:40,220 I'd love to, but I've got a thing. 186 00:12:43,682 --> 00:12:44,848 Here we go. 187 00:12:44,849 --> 00:12:46,017 Hey, Janey baby! 188 00:12:46,518 --> 00:12:50,563 Yeah, we're all set. Could you remember to bring my throwing axe, please? 189 00:12:50,564 --> 00:12:53,649 No, not that one. The one with the leather sleeve. 190 00:12:53,650 --> 00:12:55,193 You know what? Just bring 'em all. 191 00:12:57,612 --> 00:12:58,612 Yeah, we are. 192 00:12:58,613 --> 00:13:00,031 Okay. Love you too. 193 00:13:02,492 --> 00:13:03,826 How many axes you got now? 194 00:13:03,827 --> 00:13:05,953 Seventeen. But they're not all for throwing. 195 00:13:05,954 --> 00:13:08,622 Right. But they're all here in the UK? 196 00:13:08,623 --> 00:13:11,501 Oh, yeah. Couldn't imagine being in a different country than my axes. 197 00:13:12,669 --> 00:13:14,379 She's gonna have trouble carrying that. 198 00:13:21,636 --> 00:13:23,763 - Hey, Sam. - Hey. 199 00:13:25,640 --> 00:13:28,977 I'm so sorry about the national team. 200 00:13:30,061 --> 00:13:33,189 Well, you know. I guess I could have worked harder. 201 00:13:34,441 --> 00:13:36,818 Well, I think you're wonderful. 202 00:13:38,737 --> 00:13:40,155 Thank you, Rebecca. 203 00:13:45,160 --> 00:13:46,369 - See you. - Yeah. 204 00:13:56,254 --> 00:13:57,255 Hello, Rebecca. 205 00:13:58,548 --> 00:14:00,175 Where's the Hockney I gave you? 206 00:14:01,218 --> 00:14:03,970 Got rid of it. Sorry. W... How did you get past security? 207 00:14:04,679 --> 00:14:05,889 My old mate, Renee. 208 00:14:06,681 --> 00:14:08,307 The creepy old man that lives in the sewers? 209 00:14:08,308 --> 00:14:09,851 Oh, Rebecca, that's rude. 210 00:14:10,518 --> 00:14:11,894 He only works in the sewer. 211 00:14:11,895 --> 00:14:14,898 Right. Well, maybe next time you could make an appointment. 212 00:14:17,234 --> 00:14:18,276 Of course. 213 00:14:18,818 --> 00:14:21,570 So, what do you want? 214 00:14:21,571 --> 00:14:25,158 To invite you to this meeting for the Akufo League. 215 00:14:26,785 --> 00:14:27,785 Why? 216 00:14:27,786 --> 00:14:31,205 I've wanted to extend an olive branch. 217 00:14:31,206 --> 00:14:33,792 And I think it's important that you're part of this. 218 00:14:35,293 --> 00:14:36,836 Could be great for the game. 219 00:14:37,712 --> 00:14:40,131 Well, I will give it some thought. 220 00:14:40,715 --> 00:14:41,925 Good. 221 00:14:42,509 --> 00:14:47,931 Sneaking in here today reminded me of the first match I ever saw at Nelson Road. 222 00:14:48,515 --> 00:14:50,035 When they used to play by candlelight. 223 00:14:52,352 --> 00:14:54,271 I look forward to hearing from you. 224 00:14:58,441 --> 00:15:00,068 What happened with Nathan Shelley? 225 00:15:03,530 --> 00:15:06,074 Some people just aren't ready when they get their shot. 226 00:15:16,877 --> 00:15:19,045 Happy Uncle Day! 227 00:15:21,381 --> 00:15:23,967 - You know it's not a real holiday, right? - Yes, it is. 228 00:15:24,467 --> 00:15:25,343 Right, Mummy? 229 00:15:25,344 --> 00:15:28,179 Any day that annoys Roy, holiday for me. 230 00:15:30,015 --> 00:15:31,516 I'll get it. 231 00:15:33,602 --> 00:15:36,478 Phoe told me that Uncle's Day is her favorite holiday of the year. 232 00:15:36,479 --> 00:15:37,897 - Fuck off. - Yeah, seriously. 233 00:15:37,898 --> 00:15:42,151 It was Uncle's Day, Uncle Roy's birthday, and then Perchtenlaufen, 234 00:15:42,152 --> 00:15:44,820 the German holiday where people dress up as evil spirits 235 00:15:44,821 --> 00:15:48,699 and roam the streets in order to scare winter away. 236 00:15:48,700 --> 00:15:52,161 She might be an old soul, but she's a proper fucking dweeb, isn't she? 237 00:15:52,162 --> 00:15:53,662 Is that your Range Rover outside? 238 00:15:53,663 --> 00:15:56,123 - No, it's my mum's. - Oh, right, all right. 239 00:15:56,124 --> 00:15:57,666 Hey, how you doing? You all right? 240 00:15:57,667 --> 00:15:59,919 - Sorry I'm late. - It's okay. 241 00:15:59,920 --> 00:16:02,421 You can just sit down next to Uncle Roy. 242 00:16:02,422 --> 00:16:03,464 Hello, Uncle Roy. 243 00:16:03,465 --> 00:16:05,175 What the fuck is he doing here? 244 00:16:05,926 --> 00:16:07,760 I had to invite your best friend. 245 00:16:07,761 --> 00:16:09,841 - He's not my best friend. - He isn't my best friend. 246 00:16:10,430 --> 00:16:15,601 Well, you talk about him a lot, and you spend every day together. 247 00:16:15,602 --> 00:16:16,937 Well, he's not. 248 00:16:17,687 --> 00:16:19,564 So, who's your best friend, Jamie? 249 00:16:20,148 --> 00:16:20,982 Probably Isaac. 250 00:16:20,983 --> 00:16:23,150 - Fuck off. - He is. 251 00:16:23,151 --> 00:16:26,154 - That's a pound, Uncle Roy. - Bill me. 252 00:16:26,780 --> 00:16:29,157 Okay. Now, open Jamie's gift. 253 00:16:29,950 --> 00:16:33,118 It's stupid. It's dumb. I don't know. 254 00:16:33,119 --> 00:16:34,204 Here. 255 00:16:37,624 --> 00:16:40,544 It's your original England kit from the 2014 World Cup. 256 00:16:42,420 --> 00:16:44,047 Your name's on the back there. 257 00:16:48,635 --> 00:16:50,762 I got 'em to change the E to a U. 258 00:17:00,480 --> 00:17:01,815 I love it. 259 00:17:08,780 --> 00:17:10,657 Yeah. You owe me a pound, Jamie. 260 00:17:11,366 --> 00:17:12,574 But I didn't say nothing. 261 00:17:12,575 --> 00:17:17,080 No, but you made me think it, and that's basically the same thing. 262 00:17:19,873 --> 00:17:21,126 Yeah, fair play. 263 00:17:22,168 --> 00:17:23,335 Okay, my turn. 264 00:17:24,004 --> 00:17:25,005 All right. 265 00:17:25,505 --> 00:17:26,756 Who's that? 266 00:17:27,966 --> 00:17:28,967 Good wrapping, that. 267 00:17:33,763 --> 00:17:35,098 I made it at school. 268 00:17:35,682 --> 00:17:39,978 The colors spell your name. Red, orange, yellow. Roy. 269 00:17:41,980 --> 00:17:45,274 She's been very excited to give it to you. 270 00:17:45,275 --> 00:17:46,401 What do you think? 271 00:17:47,569 --> 00:17:49,362 Well, I mean, I fucking love it. 272 00:17:51,156 --> 00:17:52,490 It was worth it. 273 00:18:00,081 --> 00:18:01,291 Thank you. 274 00:18:03,376 --> 00:18:06,838 Okay. Mum and I are going to put our costumes on for the performance. 275 00:18:08,131 --> 00:18:10,467 Heads-up, team. There is an intermission. 276 00:18:17,307 --> 00:18:20,101 - Your sister is fit. - I will cut your eyes out. 277 00:18:33,240 --> 00:18:35,491 Simi, what's going on? I thought we were fully booked. 278 00:18:35,492 --> 00:18:37,077 All the reservations bailed. 279 00:18:37,661 --> 00:18:39,120 Well, except one. 280 00:18:40,872 --> 00:18:43,500 Hey, you. Look who it is. 281 00:18:44,209 --> 00:18:45,544 It is Pinky Dick. 282 00:18:47,504 --> 00:18:48,505 Sorry. I mean Sam. 283 00:18:49,339 --> 00:18:50,882 Of course you remember Francis. 284 00:18:51,758 --> 00:18:54,176 Charles, this is Pinky Dick. 285 00:18:54,177 --> 00:18:55,636 I mean Sam. 286 00:18:55,637 --> 00:18:58,514 Pinky-Dick-I-mean-Sam, this is Charles Siziba, 287 00:18:58,515 --> 00:19:01,434 - food blogger for The Times. - It is nice to meet you. 288 00:19:02,143 --> 00:19:04,354 Edwin has told me awful things about you. 289 00:19:05,689 --> 00:19:08,984 Charles is helping me find the best West African chef in London 290 00:19:09,484 --> 00:19:14,446 because I'm starting my own Nigerian restaurant but 20 meters from here. 291 00:19:14,447 --> 00:19:15,824 You're doing what? 292 00:19:16,324 --> 00:19:19,159 We are going to serve the finest Nigerian cuisine, 293 00:19:19,160 --> 00:19:23,290 along with Chicago-style hot dogs, because it's my favorite food. 294 00:19:24,499 --> 00:19:26,918 Oh, Sam. I mean Pinky Dick. 295 00:19:27,419 --> 00:19:30,671 Mr. Akufo found a tiny piece of glass in his food. 296 00:19:30,672 --> 00:19:32,841 I assume our meal will be complimentary? 297 00:19:33,592 --> 00:19:35,426 Yeah, sure. Whatever. 298 00:19:35,427 --> 00:19:36,511 Good man. 299 00:19:37,637 --> 00:19:42,809 It is nice to put a name to such an ugly, horrible face. 300 00:19:47,814 --> 00:19:50,566 I'm so sorry to see that business is not going well. 301 00:19:50,567 --> 00:19:52,484 No. Actually, we were fully booked. 302 00:19:52,485 --> 00:19:54,111 We just had a few last-second cancellations. 303 00:19:54,112 --> 00:19:57,157 That's because all the reservations were me. 304 00:19:58,199 --> 00:20:00,826 Hello. Ola's Chop Life? 305 00:20:00,827 --> 00:20:03,997 Can I make a reservation for eight for Wiafe. 306 00:20:04,497 --> 00:20:07,082 David Ettlemen, party of six. 307 00:20:07,083 --> 00:20:09,461 Starkey, party of four. Fab four. 308 00:20:09,961 --> 00:20:13,297 Table for 12, please. Last name Picard. 309 00:20:13,298 --> 00:20:17,761 And please, bring out all of your finest African cheeses. 310 00:20:21,640 --> 00:20:23,850 - Good to see you, Edwin. - Isn't it? 311 00:20:30,732 --> 00:20:35,737 Yes, I was so sad to hear that you were not selected for Nigeria's national team. 312 00:20:36,655 --> 00:20:40,157 But I was happy to hear that the Nigerian government was pleased 313 00:20:40,158 --> 00:20:45,830 to accept a free $20 million check from me to keep you off the team. 314 00:20:47,290 --> 00:20:51,836 I will never stop, you Nigerian turd. 315 00:20:52,712 --> 00:20:55,924 Never ever. 316 00:20:57,092 --> 00:20:59,803 No, never. 317 00:21:15,777 --> 00:21:17,112 Please don't do this, Francis. 318 00:21:56,860 --> 00:21:59,486 - Stop right there. - Sorry. 319 00:21:59,487 --> 00:22:01,363 - What's the emergency? - Nathan? 320 00:22:01,364 --> 00:22:02,448 Yeah. 321 00:22:02,449 --> 00:22:04,993 Never mind, Officer. My son is home. 322 00:22:07,662 --> 00:22:08,913 You moved the key. 323 00:22:08,914 --> 00:22:10,123 Jesus Christ. 324 00:22:12,000 --> 00:22:13,084 Hey, Mum. 325 00:22:15,420 --> 00:22:16,795 Do you want anything to eat, dear? 326 00:22:16,796 --> 00:22:19,716 No, thank you. I just wanna sleep actually. 327 00:22:25,055 --> 00:22:26,847 Well, if you're cooking, I could eat something. 328 00:22:26,848 --> 00:22:28,224 Lloyd, stop. 329 00:22:28,225 --> 00:22:29,309 What? 330 00:23:03,176 --> 00:23:04,094 Leslie? 331 00:23:05,720 --> 00:23:09,224 - Sorry, I didn't mean to startle you. - It's okay. It's not too bad. 332 00:23:10,850 --> 00:23:11,851 Damn. 333 00:23:15,564 --> 00:23:16,565 How can I help, Rebecca? 334 00:23:17,482 --> 00:23:18,775 I just need some advice. 335 00:23:20,068 --> 00:23:21,819 - Keeley didn't text you back? - She did not. 336 00:23:21,820 --> 00:23:23,279 - Ted? - Can't find him. 337 00:23:23,280 --> 00:23:25,447 - Sassy? - On a plane with no Wi-Fi. 338 00:23:25,448 --> 00:23:27,491 - Can you imagine that? - Disgusting. 339 00:23:27,492 --> 00:23:29,578 - How about your mother? - Are you fucking with me? 340 00:23:30,161 --> 00:23:32,914 I am flattered. Okay, let's do this shit. 341 00:23:36,751 --> 00:23:38,753 I don't want to be part of the Akufo League. 342 00:23:39,337 --> 00:23:41,630 Why? Because he's an emotionally erratic billionaire 343 00:23:41,631 --> 00:23:43,799 with the temperament of one of those kids in Willy Wonka 344 00:23:43,800 --> 00:23:45,719 that gets murdered at the chocolate factory? 345 00:23:46,803 --> 00:23:48,483 I don't think that's what happens, Leslie. 346 00:23:49,055 --> 00:23:52,726 I hate to break it to you, Rebecca, but those children are dead. 347 00:23:54,519 --> 00:23:57,271 I think the only reason Rupert has invited me in 348 00:23:57,272 --> 00:24:00,275 is because I'm a woman and it'll make them look good. 349 00:24:01,776 --> 00:24:03,777 Who cares why Rupert invited you? 350 00:24:03,778 --> 00:24:05,447 You've got a seat at the table. 351 00:24:06,281 --> 00:24:07,782 So go and see what's what. 352 00:24:14,915 --> 00:24:16,207 Thank you, Leslie. 353 00:24:17,667 --> 00:24:21,295 And if any of the other people start disappearing one by one 354 00:24:21,296 --> 00:24:25,591 due to a series of unfortunate accidents seemingly caused by their own hubris, 355 00:24:25,592 --> 00:24:27,552 you get the hell out of there. Do you hear me? 356 00:25:07,551 --> 00:25:09,176 Everything all right, dear? 357 00:25:09,177 --> 00:25:10,887 Everything? Fuck no. 358 00:25:12,264 --> 00:25:15,141 What is it called when you have the opposite of the Midas touch? 359 00:25:15,809 --> 00:25:18,436 - The Midas shits. - That's it. That's what I have. 360 00:25:18,979 --> 00:25:20,313 Everything I touch turns to shit. 361 00:25:21,898 --> 00:25:23,817 Shit helps things grow, love. 362 00:25:25,235 --> 00:25:26,653 Oy, I'm Keeley. What's your name? 363 00:25:30,031 --> 00:25:32,534 - Mae. - Mae? I wasn't expecting that. 364 00:25:33,243 --> 00:25:34,327 That's a really nice name. 365 00:25:35,161 --> 00:25:36,996 - Short for anything? - Maybe. 366 00:25:36,997 --> 00:25:38,748 And is this your place, Maybe? 367 00:25:40,417 --> 00:25:41,877 Little over 40 years. 368 00:25:42,544 --> 00:25:44,921 Wow, that's impressive. 369 00:25:46,506 --> 00:25:48,550 It's hard though, right? Being a boss? 370 00:25:49,593 --> 00:25:50,677 It has its moments. 371 00:25:52,596 --> 00:25:54,806 But for some, it's better to follow your gut 372 00:25:55,599 --> 00:25:58,518 than pretend to be excited by following someone else's. 373 00:26:01,980 --> 00:26:04,316 What would you do if someone took it all away from you? 374 00:26:06,693 --> 00:26:07,694 Like the man once said, 375 00:26:08,570 --> 00:26:10,654 "Once you make it to the top of the mountain, 376 00:26:10,655 --> 00:26:13,408 what's left for you but lightning?" 377 00:26:18,371 --> 00:26:23,084 Wait, is the lightning a good thing or a bad thing? 378 00:26:25,837 --> 00:26:28,298 Depends whether you're ready for it or not. 379 00:26:30,800 --> 00:26:33,178 Now, I'm gonna get you some food. 380 00:26:34,429 --> 00:26:38,141 'Cause I can't have another sad, skinny girl pass out in my pub. 381 00:26:38,767 --> 00:26:40,227 Fucks me Yelp rating. 382 00:27:35,699 --> 00:27:36,741 Bocce balls. 383 00:27:42,956 --> 00:27:46,167 Ted! Ted! 384 00:27:54,009 --> 00:27:55,010 Hey. 385 00:28:22,245 --> 00:28:23,246 Ye... 386 00:28:41,139 --> 00:28:44,183 You know, Lanny, when Mexico comes up here in our kitchen, 387 00:28:44,184 --> 00:28:45,851 the record books go right out the window. 388 00:28:45,852 --> 00:28:47,102 Well, for sure, Bruce. 389 00:28:47,103 --> 00:28:49,647 It's a tough game, but there's a begrudging mutual respect 390 00:28:49,648 --> 00:28:50,728 between the two teams, hey? 391 00:28:51,233 --> 00:28:55,654 - They go together like nachos and poutine. - Now you've made me hungry. Oh, no. 392 00:28:57,239 --> 00:28:59,365 - Mexico gains possession. - Here we go! 393 00:28:59,366 --> 00:29:02,911 Dani Rojas is on the loose, face-to-face with Van Damme. And... 394 00:29:05,038 --> 00:29:07,915 Oh, no! Right in the nose. 395 00:29:07,916 --> 00:29:10,417 Straight in the sniffer. That almost seemed deliberate. 396 00:29:10,418 --> 00:29:11,710 Dani kicked the crap out of it too. 397 00:29:11,711 --> 00:29:14,588 For sure, Bruce. He's a different fella in a Mexico shirt. 398 00:29:14,589 --> 00:29:17,049 That's a lot of blood, for gosh sakes. 399 00:29:17,050 --> 00:29:18,760 I apologize for the language there, folks. 400 00:30:09,352 --> 00:30:10,353 Hey. 401 00:30:11,688 --> 00:30:12,689 Twins. 402 00:30:13,857 --> 00:30:15,692 Fuck's sake. 403 00:32:21,651 --> 00:32:23,695 All right, go on in. 404 00:32:27,073 --> 00:32:29,408 - Have a nice day, Uncle Roy. - You too. 405 00:32:29,409 --> 00:32:30,410 You look nice. 406 00:32:31,369 --> 00:32:32,913 - Sure. - Bye! 407 00:32:38,793 --> 00:32:40,003 It's Coach Kent. 408 00:32:43,673 --> 00:32:45,674 - Hello, Ms. Bowen. - You don't have to call me Ms. Bowen. 409 00:32:45,675 --> 00:32:47,761 - You can use my first name. - Okay... 410 00:32:49,221 --> 00:32:50,430 You don't know it, do you? 411 00:32:51,848 --> 00:32:52,932 No. 412 00:32:52,933 --> 00:32:55,309 - Leann. - Hello, Leann. 413 00:32:55,310 --> 00:32:56,519 I like your T-shirt. 414 00:32:57,437 --> 00:32:58,855 You off to protest the Vietnam War? 415 00:33:00,815 --> 00:33:02,067 Phoebe made it for me. 416 00:33:05,070 --> 00:33:07,363 - You look different. - Well, yeah. 417 00:33:07,364 --> 00:33:10,074 I don't normally dress like a fucking clown. 418 00:33:10,075 --> 00:33:11,784 No, I don't mean the T-shirt. I mean you. 419 00:33:11,785 --> 00:33:14,203 You seem lighter than the last time I saw you. 420 00:33:14,204 --> 00:33:17,707 Less... stuck. 421 00:33:18,291 --> 00:33:20,585 - Stuck? - Yeah, stuck. 422 00:33:21,962 --> 00:33:23,004 Hold on. 423 00:33:24,381 --> 00:33:27,551 Weren't you flirting with me last time I saw you? 424 00:33:29,386 --> 00:33:31,304 I teach kids. I don't mind cleaning up a mess. 425 00:33:33,390 --> 00:33:35,892 I just hope that mess didn't cause too much damage. 426 00:33:47,320 --> 00:33:50,073 Fudge. 427 00:33:53,952 --> 00:33:55,537 - It's good to see you. - Yeah, you too. 428 00:34:01,918 --> 00:34:03,628 "I don't mind cleaning up a mess." 429 00:34:04,129 --> 00:34:05,338 Smooth move, fuckwitch. 430 00:34:07,173 --> 00:34:08,633 All right, kids, let's go! 431 00:34:13,221 --> 00:34:14,388 Hi, Barbara. 432 00:34:14,389 --> 00:34:15,724 That's a nice outfit. 433 00:34:16,224 --> 00:34:19,144 Thank you. Yes. I like clothes that tell the truth. 434 00:34:22,814 --> 00:34:24,065 I got you something. 435 00:34:34,784 --> 00:34:36,411 Thank you for all your help. 436 00:34:41,291 --> 00:34:43,500 I really wish that we could have worked together longer. 437 00:34:43,501 --> 00:34:44,586 You're fun. 438 00:34:45,921 --> 00:34:47,547 - I am? - Yeah. 439 00:34:51,718 --> 00:34:52,635 Thank you. 440 00:34:56,722 --> 00:34:59,391 It's just that I have to buy the snow globe, 441 00:34:59,392 --> 00:35:00,477 or it doesn't really count. 442 00:35:02,354 --> 00:35:03,355 Okay. 443 00:35:05,106 --> 00:35:07,776 - Do you have any cash on you? - Yes. 444 00:35:10,779 --> 00:35:12,113 It was actually 60 quid. 445 00:35:15,158 --> 00:35:17,535 I think you paid a bit too much there. 446 00:35:22,999 --> 00:35:24,167 Thank you for this. 447 00:35:26,586 --> 00:35:27,587 You're welcome. 448 00:35:29,631 --> 00:35:30,966 I'm gonna need the receipt. 449 00:35:31,758 --> 00:35:35,511 - Of course. Can I email it to you? - Yeah, email's great. 450 00:35:35,512 --> 00:35:37,180 - Sooner the better. - I'll get on it. 451 00:36:03,373 --> 00:36:07,167 {\an8}Nathan, your father and I are headed to the farmers' market for a few hours. 452 00:36:07,168 --> 00:36:09,212 We love you, sweetheart. 453 00:36:20,515 --> 00:36:21,683 Hello, there. Good morning. 454 00:36:23,935 --> 00:36:25,144 - Hello, madam. - Hello there. 455 00:36:25,145 --> 00:36:27,314 - Can I take your coat? - Oh, yes, absolutely. 456 00:36:28,940 --> 00:36:29,941 - Thank you. - Thank you. 457 00:36:36,489 --> 00:36:37,866 Hello, Rebecca. 458 00:36:39,784 --> 00:36:40,701 Rupert. 459 00:36:40,702 --> 00:36:43,663 Thank you for accepting my invitation. 460 00:36:44,581 --> 00:36:46,832 How could I resist the chance of having a bunch of old men 461 00:36:46,833 --> 00:36:47,918 speak directly to my chest? 462 00:36:50,629 --> 00:36:53,131 Mr. Mannion, you left your phone in the car. 463 00:36:54,257 --> 00:36:56,885 And your fecalist emailed your results. 464 00:36:57,510 --> 00:37:00,013 Two big thumbs up as expected. 465 00:37:00,597 --> 00:37:01,497 Wonderful. 466 00:37:02,349 --> 00:37:05,184 Ms. Bread, Rebecca Welton. 467 00:37:05,185 --> 00:37:08,230 Rebecca, this is my assistant, Ms. Bread. 468 00:37:08,813 --> 00:37:10,065 Nice to meet you. 469 00:37:16,738 --> 00:37:18,073 Excuse me. 470 00:37:22,702 --> 00:37:24,579 - New assistant? - Yeah. 471 00:37:25,705 --> 00:37:28,458 What happened to the corporate pixie dream girl? 472 00:37:29,251 --> 00:37:31,086 Skewed. Dramatic. 473 00:37:34,089 --> 00:37:35,423 - Shall we? - Yes. 474 00:37:38,552 --> 00:37:40,719 So, gentlemen, hello. 475 00:37:40,720 --> 00:37:45,141 I believe most of you know Rebecca, owner of AFC Richmond. 476 00:37:46,184 --> 00:37:49,424 It's been my title since we got divorced, and I took the only thing he ever loved. 477 00:37:50,730 --> 00:37:51,731 Wonderful. 478 00:37:53,441 --> 00:37:55,192 - Rebecca. - Hello, Robert. 479 00:37:55,193 --> 00:37:57,653 When Rupert told me you were joining us today, 480 00:37:57,654 --> 00:37:59,072 I was truly excited. 481 00:38:00,115 --> 00:38:04,911 Then when you walked in, in that outfit, I remember why. 482 00:38:09,207 --> 00:38:10,541 Greetings to you all! 483 00:38:10,542 --> 00:38:12,502 And thank you for coming. 484 00:38:13,378 --> 00:38:14,421 Francis. 485 00:38:20,760 --> 00:38:22,386 - Rebecca. - Mr. Akufo, 486 00:38:22,387 --> 00:38:24,388 how wonderful to see you again. 487 00:38:24,389 --> 00:38:26,850 Yes, I'm very glad that you are here. 488 00:38:28,184 --> 00:38:30,854 It's nice to not be the only minority in the room, eh? 489 00:38:33,148 --> 00:38:38,486 Gentlemen and lady, I'm sure you're all very anxious to get started. 490 00:38:39,029 --> 00:38:41,405 But as my father would say, 491 00:38:41,406 --> 00:38:44,783 "Never talk business on an empty stomach." 492 00:38:44,784 --> 00:38:45,952 So... 493 00:38:48,663 --> 00:38:53,876 Please take your seats and let us enjoy some delicious Ghanaian bites 494 00:38:53,877 --> 00:38:56,337 as well as some Chicago-style hot dogs, 495 00:38:56,338 --> 00:39:00,007 as enjoyed by the likes of Scottie Pippen, Obama and Ferris Bueller. 496 00:39:00,008 --> 00:39:01,092 Please. 497 00:39:03,220 --> 00:39:05,263 Yes, please. Please sit down. Sit down. 498 00:40:30,348 --> 00:40:31,349 Thanks. 499 00:40:39,482 --> 00:40:44,278 So, now that our bellies are full, let us talk business. 500 00:40:44,279 --> 00:40:48,074 But first, there is one thing to take care of. 501 00:41:03,256 --> 00:41:06,383 It's okay. I will leave now. 502 00:41:06,384 --> 00:41:09,511 Yeah, no, thank you, Nicolay. It's just easier for everybody... 503 00:41:09,512 --> 00:41:11,765 No. I get it. 504 00:41:12,474 --> 00:41:15,936 It's just the whole Russia thing. You know, it's not a good look right now. 505 00:41:17,562 --> 00:41:19,272 You... It's a "pull." 506 00:41:20,190 --> 00:41:21,607 You have to pull. It's a... 507 00:41:21,608 --> 00:41:25,736 It's a... You're pushing. It's a pu... You have to pull the door. 508 00:41:25,737 --> 00:41:27,137 What you're doing is obviously w... 509 00:41:28,156 --> 00:41:30,366 You're pushing, and you have to pull. 510 00:41:30,367 --> 00:41:31,951 There. Okay, goodbye. 511 00:41:31,952 --> 00:41:34,995 Okay, gentlemen. And one woman. 512 00:41:34,996 --> 00:41:40,000 I invited you here to tell you about the Akufo League. 513 00:41:40,001 --> 00:41:45,172 A global football league made up of only the best teams. 514 00:41:45,173 --> 00:41:50,636 Yes, it will cost the fans a bit more, and some may not be able to afford it. 515 00:41:50,637 --> 00:41:54,932 But those who can will see the cream of the crop. 516 00:41:54,933 --> 00:41:57,936 Each matchup, a clash of titans. 517 00:41:58,436 --> 00:42:01,398 Each game, an undried dream. 518 00:42:02,232 --> 00:42:05,986 Now, in the beginning, some people will hate it 519 00:42:06,486 --> 00:42:09,197 because some people hate change. 520 00:42:09,781 --> 00:42:14,410 But remember, at one time, we only rode horses 521 00:42:14,411 --> 00:42:16,913 and hated the idea of automobiles. 522 00:42:17,664 --> 00:42:19,832 Now we can't live without our cars, 523 00:42:19,833 --> 00:42:23,753 and the hot dogs we just ate are 85% horse meat. 524 00:42:24,588 --> 00:42:26,922 Change is inevitable. 525 00:42:26,923 --> 00:42:29,758 Why should football not change? 526 00:42:29,759 --> 00:42:31,635 Why should it not evolve? 527 00:42:31,636 --> 00:42:35,640 Why should your profits not grow exponentially? 528 00:42:38,268 --> 00:42:42,521 Yes, the fans will protest. They will whine. 529 00:42:42,522 --> 00:42:46,275 They will make up mean-spirited but admittedly clever parody songs 530 00:42:46,276 --> 00:42:50,071 using our surnames and sing them outside the buildings that we own. 531 00:42:50,739 --> 00:42:56,952 But in time, they will come to embrace the superior product. 532 00:42:56,953 --> 00:43:01,750 Just as we have all embraced the automobile... 533 00:43:03,418 --> 00:43:04,419 the smartphone... 534 00:43:06,213 --> 00:43:07,547 the squatty potty. 535 00:43:09,424 --> 00:43:13,470 The Akufo League is the future of football. 536 00:43:14,221 --> 00:43:16,306 And the future is now. 537 00:43:19,976 --> 00:43:23,063 Francis will pass out the projections for the first five years. 538 00:43:23,563 --> 00:43:26,733 Please take a moment to peruse. 539 00:43:38,036 --> 00:43:38,936 Thank you. 540 00:43:41,414 --> 00:43:42,415 Thank you. 541 00:44:05,689 --> 00:44:06,690 Okay. 542 00:44:36,887 --> 00:44:38,095 - Yeah. - Yes. 543 00:44:38,096 --> 00:44:42,142 Well, makes sense to me. I'm in. 544 00:44:42,893 --> 00:44:44,227 Wonderful. 545 00:44:49,190 --> 00:44:52,986 Rebecca, what do you think? 546 00:44:56,740 --> 00:44:58,825 Is this a fucking joke? 547 00:45:00,952 --> 00:45:02,078 Excuse me? 548 00:45:14,591 --> 00:45:17,385 What do you think you're doing? Just stop it! 549 00:45:19,429 --> 00:45:21,973 I mean, how much more money do any of you really need? 550 00:45:24,351 --> 00:45:28,229 Why would you ever consider taking something away from people 551 00:45:28,230 --> 00:45:30,523 that means so much to them? 552 00:45:31,149 --> 00:45:32,567 This isn't a game. 553 00:45:34,611 --> 00:45:36,862 Football isn't just a game. 554 00:45:36,863 --> 00:45:39,073 England dominating. No surprise. 555 00:45:39,074 --> 00:45:44,536 {\an8}It's one of those amazing things in life that can make you feel shit one moment... 556 00:45:44,537 --> 00:45:47,623 You'd expect Southgate to be looking at his bench about now, 557 00:45:47,624 --> 00:45:49,667 and we do have a substitution. 558 00:45:49,668 --> 00:45:53,463 AFC Richmond's Jamie Tartt winning his first cap for England. 559 00:45:54,089 --> 00:45:56,258 {\an8}An unforgettable moment and well-earned. 560 00:45:57,467 --> 00:46:01,053 And then, like it's Christmas morning the next. 561 00:46:01,054 --> 00:46:02,346 {\an8}Tartt's wearing 24, 562 00:46:02,347 --> 00:46:06,058 {\an8}a nod to his Richmond teammate, the spectacular Sam Obisanya. 563 00:46:06,059 --> 00:46:10,021 It has the ability to make heroes and villains out of ordinary men. 564 00:46:20,115 --> 00:46:22,367 People love this game. 565 00:46:23,034 --> 00:46:25,078 My father loved this game. 566 00:46:25,996 --> 00:46:28,331 You all used to love this game. 567 00:46:29,040 --> 00:46:30,250 I'm sure of it. 568 00:46:35,422 --> 00:46:40,260 I knew this little boy. Working-class. From Richmond. 569 00:46:42,304 --> 00:46:47,266 And he loved football so much, he used to sneak into the matches 570 00:46:47,267 --> 00:46:50,520 because his family just couldn't afford the tickets. 571 00:46:51,897 --> 00:46:55,400 And one afternoon, he finally got caught. 572 00:46:58,153 --> 00:47:03,241 And the security guard smacked him round the face, knocked him on the ground. 573 00:47:05,702 --> 00:47:09,748 But that little boy stood up, smiled, 574 00:47:11,541 --> 00:47:13,752 kicked the security guard in the bollocks and ran away. 575 00:47:15,253 --> 00:47:16,254 Never to return. 576 00:47:17,589 --> 00:47:22,385 Until 25 years later, when he walked in and bought the entire club. 577 00:47:24,429 --> 00:47:26,764 And on his first day as owner, 578 00:47:26,765 --> 00:47:29,976 he went and found that same security guard 579 00:47:30,477 --> 00:47:33,688 and gave him a pay rise without any explanation. 580 00:47:37,859 --> 00:47:42,822 Just because we own these teams doesn't mean they belong to us. 581 00:47:47,077 --> 00:47:49,495 And I don't want to be part of something 582 00:47:49,496 --> 00:47:53,708 that could possibly destroy this beautiful game. 583 00:47:55,085 --> 00:47:59,588 Because I would hate for all those little kids and grown-ups out there 584 00:47:59,589 --> 00:48:06,429 to ever lose access to that beautiful, passionate part of themselves. 585 00:48:10,475 --> 00:48:12,477 What a lovely speech. 586 00:48:16,565 --> 00:48:19,192 Now, who wants to make a lot of money? 587 00:48:55,770 --> 00:48:56,980 Jesus fucking Christ! 588 00:48:58,231 --> 00:48:59,816 Hey, sorry. 589 00:49:01,359 --> 00:49:02,443 I thought you'd gone out. 590 00:49:02,444 --> 00:49:06,281 I did. But my acid reflux started playing up, so I came home. 591 00:49:07,574 --> 00:49:08,934 I didn't know you had acid reflux. 592 00:49:09,910 --> 00:49:10,911 I don't. 593 00:49:11,494 --> 00:49:14,080 But your mother knows I like my alone time. 594 00:49:16,041 --> 00:49:17,459 Sorry if I disturbed you. 595 00:49:18,877 --> 00:49:20,045 No, not at all. 596 00:49:22,505 --> 00:49:24,090 I really miss hearing you play. 597 00:49:26,384 --> 00:49:27,426 You do? 598 00:49:27,427 --> 00:49:28,553 Of course. 599 00:49:30,222 --> 00:49:31,973 Thought you hated it when I played. 600 00:49:33,642 --> 00:49:35,060 Why on earth would you think that? 601 00:49:36,728 --> 00:49:38,897 'Cause you literally said that to me once, Dad. 602 00:49:39,481 --> 00:49:41,065 You said I wouldn't practice enough. 603 00:49:41,066 --> 00:49:44,653 How I was squandering my potential and wasting my privilege. 604 00:49:48,281 --> 00:49:50,283 You were given opportunities I never had, 605 00:49:51,284 --> 00:49:53,119 and so I expected a lot from you. 606 00:49:55,288 --> 00:49:57,082 Well, it scared the shit out of me. 607 00:49:58,416 --> 00:49:59,584 I know that now. 608 00:50:00,544 --> 00:50:01,836 And I'm sorry. 609 00:50:03,922 --> 00:50:06,132 I didn't know how to parent a genius. 610 00:50:08,552 --> 00:50:09,553 What? 611 00:50:10,637 --> 00:50:11,638 A genius. 612 00:50:13,306 --> 00:50:14,516 You're brilliant, Son. 613 00:50:16,142 --> 00:50:18,186 You've always seen things other people couldn't, 614 00:50:18,770 --> 00:50:19,771 and that's a blessing. 615 00:50:22,816 --> 00:50:25,026 Yeah, I know it must also be a curse too. 616 00:50:27,404 --> 00:50:28,405 But you're right. 617 00:50:30,532 --> 00:50:33,535 I pushed you to be the best at everything, even at violin. 618 00:50:36,121 --> 00:50:37,872 'Cause I thought that's what I had to do. 619 00:50:39,708 --> 00:50:41,084 I thought that's what you wanted. 620 00:50:44,045 --> 00:50:46,923 I just liked playing. 621 00:50:49,593 --> 00:50:52,178 Nathan, be successful, don't be successful. 622 00:50:53,221 --> 00:50:54,848 I never cared about any of that. 623 00:50:56,474 --> 00:50:58,351 I just want my son to be happy. 624 00:51:27,088 --> 00:51:29,799 Well, that was all very interesting. 625 00:51:30,425 --> 00:51:31,675 Lunch soon? 626 00:51:31,676 --> 00:51:32,635 Yeah, sure. 627 00:51:32,636 --> 00:51:35,931 Rebecca, you still look lovely. 628 00:51:39,768 --> 00:51:40,976 You know, 629 00:51:40,977 --> 00:51:44,064 the last time I saw you two alone in a room together, 630 00:51:44,648 --> 00:51:45,857 was right after your wedding. 631 00:51:48,360 --> 00:51:50,320 You really wanted me to leave. 632 00:51:56,409 --> 00:51:59,496 Hey, remember when we... 633 00:51:59,996 --> 00:52:02,582 We both snuck into a Richmond game together? 634 00:52:03,333 --> 00:52:04,334 I do. 635 00:52:05,085 --> 00:52:08,922 Although you were the owner of the club, so the stakes were a little bit lower. 636 00:52:11,216 --> 00:52:14,134 You got... May I? 637 00:52:14,135 --> 00:52:15,220 Oh, yeah. 638 00:52:26,481 --> 00:52:27,691 Rupert. 639 00:52:57,929 --> 00:53:00,932 - Oi, what you doing there? - Jesus fucking Christ! 640 00:53:01,558 --> 00:53:03,267 Look at you in color. 641 00:53:03,268 --> 00:53:05,978 - What are you doing here? - I live here. 642 00:53:05,979 --> 00:53:07,564 But it's the middle of the day. 643 00:53:09,274 --> 00:53:10,317 What's that? 644 00:53:11,401 --> 00:53:12,944 It's for you. 645 00:53:17,741 --> 00:53:20,368 - You don't have to look now. You can... - I don't mind. 646 00:53:35,467 --> 00:53:37,510 I still can't read your handwriting. 647 00:53:48,605 --> 00:53:52,192 "Dear Keeley, I want you to know something. 648 00:53:53,360 --> 00:53:57,697 You never did anything wrong. It was all me. 649 00:53:59,407 --> 00:54:02,869 I was stuck. Stuck in my own shit. 650 00:54:03,536 --> 00:54:07,415 And I didn't wanna cause you any harm with it, so I pulled away. 651 00:54:09,626 --> 00:54:11,002 But you are..." 652 00:54:18,718 --> 00:54:24,224 You are and always will be Keeley fucking Jones. 653 00:54:28,770 --> 00:54:30,564 And if I ever did anything... 654 00:54:32,983 --> 00:54:35,484 Anything at all... 655 00:54:35,485 --> 00:54:37,904 That made you feel like that wasn't true... 656 00:54:40,448 --> 00:54:41,825 I'm so sorry. 657 00:54:45,495 --> 00:54:46,663 I love you. 658 00:54:53,295 --> 00:54:55,630 "Sincerely yours, Roy Kent. XOXO." 659 00:55:03,763 --> 00:55:05,390 You are the only Roy I know. 660 00:55:05,974 --> 00:55:09,185 - Well, I didn't want to assume. - No. 661 00:55:18,153 --> 00:55:19,154 Thank you. 662 00:55:29,039 --> 00:55:30,040 Okay. 663 00:55:44,429 --> 00:55:45,430 I win. 664 00:55:46,598 --> 00:55:47,891 Come on. 665 00:55:51,603 --> 00:55:52,604 Come on. 666 00:56:03,698 --> 00:56:04,782 Have you been shot? 667 00:56:04,783 --> 00:56:07,326 I just convinced a roomful of Rupert's dickhead friends 668 00:56:07,327 --> 00:56:08,869 to pull out of the Akufo League. 669 00:56:08,870 --> 00:56:11,747 - Oh, no! - Oh, no, it's very good. Hug me. 670 00:56:11,748 --> 00:56:14,667 Oh, yes! I'm so proud of you! 671 00:56:14,668 --> 00:56:16,585 Even though I don't totally get it. 672 00:56:16,586 --> 00:56:18,504 Thank you. Wait. 673 00:56:18,505 --> 00:56:21,590 Now that I know that you're actually alive, I'm very cross with you. 674 00:56:21,591 --> 00:56:22,968 Where the hell have you been? 675 00:56:24,761 --> 00:56:26,513 And they just pulled your funding? 676 00:56:27,347 --> 00:56:30,100 Arseholes. Why didn't you tell me? 677 00:56:31,226 --> 00:56:32,727 Well, I couldn't find the right time. 678 00:56:34,354 --> 00:56:35,730 And the right way. 679 00:56:36,982 --> 00:56:38,316 And I didn't want to. 680 00:56:39,776 --> 00:56:41,777 Well, they are idiots. 681 00:56:41,778 --> 00:56:44,698 Because you, Keeley Jones, are a bloody marvel. 682 00:56:47,659 --> 00:56:49,119 How much money were they putting in? 683 00:56:50,120 --> 00:56:53,163 No. I'm not letting you do that. It's a lot. 684 00:56:53,164 --> 00:56:56,459 Oh, shut up. My money, my choice. Come on, tell me. 685 00:57:03,884 --> 00:57:04,884 What are you doing? 686 00:57:04,885 --> 00:57:07,387 This is how they do it in the movies. 687 00:57:16,271 --> 00:57:17,731 Are you joking? 688 00:57:18,523 --> 00:57:19,482 I told you. 689 00:57:20,692 --> 00:57:22,527 I think I have that much money on me in cash. 690 00:57:23,153 --> 00:57:24,653 - No. - Yes. 691 00:57:24,654 --> 00:57:26,197 - No! - Yes. 692 00:57:27,240 --> 00:57:28,325 Thank you! 693 00:57:31,703 --> 00:57:33,955 - Rupert tried to kiss me. - What? 694 00:57:35,081 --> 00:57:36,248 Did your lips touch? 695 00:57:36,249 --> 00:57:38,168 No, I pulled back straightaway. 696 00:57:40,003 --> 00:57:43,423 And I just looked at him and made it all so clear. 697 00:57:45,592 --> 00:57:48,220 Babe, that's huge. 698 00:57:50,597 --> 00:57:55,100 Jesus. Can you imagine if you fell for it, and you got back with Rupert? 699 00:57:55,101 --> 00:57:59,605 After all that floppy cock has done, you would have to be insane. 700 00:57:59,606 --> 00:58:02,441 You would have to be at the bottom of your emotional barrel 701 00:58:02,442 --> 00:58:04,361 to do something that dumb, right? 702 00:58:19,584 --> 00:58:20,669 Hi. 703 00:59:00,375 --> 00:59:01,793 Thanks, Renee. 704 00:59:08,049 --> 00:59:09,633 We've done some restructuring, 705 00:59:09,634 --> 00:59:16,266 but KJPR would still love to help you take your sunglasses global, Ms. Jayye. 706 00:59:18,643 --> 00:59:22,479 I would maybe say "ambitious nightmare" over "crazy." 707 00:59:22,480 --> 00:59:25,108 But yes, we have parted ways with Shandy. 708 00:59:25,775 --> 00:59:30,238 Okay. Of course. Great. Yeah, talk to you soon. 709 00:59:32,073 --> 00:59:33,950 - Nice. Okay. - Ms. Jones. 710 00:59:36,953 --> 00:59:39,623 Barbara, hi. What are you doing here? 711 00:59:41,666 --> 00:59:44,628 I need to give this back to you. 712 00:59:48,465 --> 00:59:50,591 I've given Jack my resignation, 713 00:59:50,592 --> 00:59:55,096 and I only buy a snow globe when I leave a job. 714 00:59:56,681 --> 00:59:59,350 I mean, that is, if you're looking for a CFO. 715 00:59:59,351 --> 01:00:01,436 I mean, I might not... It's... 716 01:00:11,947 --> 01:00:13,072 Would you mind loosening your grip? 717 01:00:13,073 --> 01:00:15,699 'Cause I need to get the receipt so you can reimburse me. 718 01:00:15,700 --> 01:00:17,077 Thank you. 719 01:00:27,003 --> 01:00:28,004 How are you? 720 01:00:34,928 --> 01:00:35,828 Hola, amigo. 721 01:00:37,138 --> 01:00:38,472 Hola. 722 01:00:38,473 --> 01:00:40,141 How's your nose feeling, man? 723 01:00:41,434 --> 01:00:42,334 It feels broken. 724 01:00:44,354 --> 01:00:45,730 It was such a crazy game, right? 725 01:00:46,314 --> 01:00:48,149 I mean, yeah. Yeah, it was. 726 01:00:48,984 --> 01:00:50,402 So many memories. 727 01:00:52,195 --> 01:00:55,656 He's hit the ball with his nose. Top ten moments in sports history. 728 01:00:55,657 --> 01:00:57,617 - You good? - Hey. Yeah, not bad. 729 01:01:21,474 --> 01:01:23,018 So where are you from originally? 730 01:01:23,852 --> 01:01:24,852 None of your business. 731 01:01:24,853 --> 01:01:27,439 Yeah, it is a bit personal. 732 01:01:55,592 --> 01:01:56,676 I'm from Peoria. 733 01:02:06,186 --> 01:02:08,355 - Morning, boss. - Good morning, Ted. 734 01:02:08,855 --> 01:02:11,149 That's cool! Did you draw that? 735 01:02:12,651 --> 01:02:14,193 No, Ted, that's a David Hockney. 736 01:02:14,194 --> 01:02:16,154 Oh, well, he's a very talented little boy. 737 01:02:16,780 --> 01:02:18,031 There you go. 738 01:02:20,784 --> 01:02:25,412 Ted, I want to share something with you that I've realized recently. 739 01:02:25,413 --> 01:02:27,873 How weird it is that Margherita pizza doesn't have alcohol in it? 740 01:02:27,874 --> 01:02:28,832 I'm with you, sister. 741 01:02:28,833 --> 01:02:33,547 No, Ted. I've realized I no longer care if I beat Rupert. 742 01:02:34,464 --> 01:02:35,966 - Oh, yeah? - Yeah. 743 01:02:36,675 --> 01:02:38,176 I mean, I still want to win. 744 01:02:39,427 --> 01:02:40,679 But for all of us. 745 01:02:43,223 --> 01:02:44,391 For Richmond. 746 01:02:45,892 --> 01:02:47,227 I wanna win for us too. 747 01:02:53,066 --> 01:02:55,109 It just feels like it's ceremonial at this point. 748 01:02:55,110 --> 01:02:58,446 As long as none of that tree piss gets in my mouth, I'm actually okay with it. 56783

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