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_
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- _
- Okay, my first guest today is my son,
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ChaseDreams.
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Now, Chase, your big
fashion show is tonight.
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And here's something fun, guys.
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I'm walking in it.
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I know, I can't wait.
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I'm excited for people to
finally see the clothes.
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They're really tight. And... and sharp.
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And this is one of the
pieces from your line, right?
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Yup, I'm wearing it in
orange but it also comes in
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brown and bad yellow.
And what's great about
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these clothes is
they're super versatile,
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so you can wear them to
work if you're famous,
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you can wear them to
dinner if you're famous,
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you can wear them to a
wedding if you're famous.
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And what if you're not famous?
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Oh, then I wouldn't
really wear them 'cause
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they're kinda ugly and
you might look stupid.
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All right.
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Well, if you at home still wanna try,
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pieces from Chase's collection
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will be available online
tonight at midnight.
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T-shirts start at $4,000.
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Well, thank you so much
for being here, Chase.
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And we'll be right back
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with more "Pat."
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Okay, that's commercial.
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Hey, Mom, can I actually
talk to you for a sec?
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I don't... I don't really
care about this fashion stuff.
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I just wanna be singing.
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And I keep trying to
tell Brooke and Streeter
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and they're not listening to me.
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What do you think I should do?
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Mom?
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Mom?
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Okay, cameras to the
kitchen. We're back in...
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Just some reminders for
the rest of your show.
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Don't forget to hold the book
up so we can see the title.
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Also, the dead daughter's
name is Casey, not Cassy.
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And Justin Bartha doesn't
wanna lose on camera
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so we're gonna have you guys tie.
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Sounds good, thanks, Melanie.
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- Hi.
- And also, don't forget me.
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- Hi, Streety.
- Yeah, we don't get to see
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that much of each other lately
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so I just want you to remember that
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I exist and that we're in love.
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Of course I remember, honey.
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- Okay, we're back...
- You gotta go.
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In five, four, three.
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- ♪ Come to life ♪
- And welcome back.
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My next guest has written
a new book all about
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how we've been organizing
our silverware wrong.
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That's right, Pat. So, walk me through
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how you normally
organize your silverware.
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Well, now I'm embarrassed,
but I guess I just usually
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put all the forks together,
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then all the knives together,
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then all the spoons together.
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Oh, okay.
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Uh, that's actually right.
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So you don't need the book.
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Well, I'll still buy it
because as I always say...
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"Reading is good."
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And I just can't believe she's gone.
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I'm so sorry for your loss.
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And I think we have a photo of Casey.
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- Ain't she beautiful?
- Yes.
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She seems... sweet.
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But like I always say...
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"You may have lost a daughter..."
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You're going down, Pat.
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Ha, ha! I got you!
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All right, judges, final score?
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It's a tie!
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Thought I got you.
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Okay, guys, that's our show.
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Thank you so much, Justin Bartha.
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"The Good Fight" is
streaming on CBS All Access.
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And his new jazz album,
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"Here's a Jazz Album from Me,"
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is available at Target.
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Yep, there should still be
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a few copies left on the ground.
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I'm not singing but Justin Bartha is?
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We made it through another day together
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- so let's give ourselves a...
- "Pat on the..."
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Hey, honey.
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- I just wanted to say hi.
- Hey. Aw.
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You looked so beautiful
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during the dead daughter segment.
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I'm literally getting hard
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- just thinking about it.
- Thank you. So sweet.
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I was just trying to take
a little nap before my...
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Hey, Pat, just need to grab
you for your after show.
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Oh, okay, sure.
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And our next question
is from @SuperMommy17
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and she wants to know,
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Justin, which Hangover
movie was your favorite?
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- I'm gonna say two.
- Really?
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- Mm-hmm.
- That's so interesting.
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Hey, Pat, we need to grab your mic.
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Oh, sure. Can I just give
it to you in one second?
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I was just trying to take
a little nap before...
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Hey, Pat, need to grab you
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- for your meet and greet.
- Yeah.
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The women are getting
pretty antsy out there.
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- Okay.
- So this is my special
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Midwestern lasagna.
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Instead of meat, cheese, and garlic,
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I do mayonnaise,
marshmallows, and Runts.
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And I brought a fork so you
can eat it in front of me.
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Excuse me, excuse me, excuse me.
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- Hey, Pat.
- Hi.
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Just wanna say that the
new girl who loads us in
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is not nice, and I'm
only telling you because
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she's a representative of your show
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so I knew you'd wanna know.
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Also, the far-right sink in the bathroom
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doesn't have soap. And
there's no toilet paper.
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00:05:01,870 --> 00:05:04,579
Hi, Pat. Can I say hi now?
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00:05:04,584 --> 00:05:06,522
I'm Kathy from Bemidji.
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00:05:06,527 --> 00:05:08,583
My husband, Ron, actually died
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00:05:08,588 --> 00:05:10,823
the same month that your husband died.
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- Oh, I'm so sorry.
- But just like you,
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I moved to New York
City to make it happen.
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- That's great.
- So, yeah.
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How do I do that?
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Where should I go? Where can I live?
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Um...
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Hey, Pat, now we actually
need to get your mic back on.
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Okay, sorry, I don't mean to complain.
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I was just really trying to
take a little nap before we...
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00:05:30,276 --> 00:05:31,673
Hey, Pat, time to head to Times Square.
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- Right now?
- Yes, well, first we need
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to paint your face and hands green
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and then we'll head to Times Square.
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Okay, wait, and why again?
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Sweetie, look how big the TVs are.
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And whoa, that's the Statue of Liberty.
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No, it's not! Surprise!
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Oh, my God, Pat, I love you.
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- Well, this just made my day.
- Oh, I'm so glad.
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And I love you too, Pat.
I think you're just great.
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Well, I think you're just great.
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And I also love you, Pat.
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- I love you so, so much.
- Aw, Streety, you're here?
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Yes, excuse me, I'm sorry.
Just for a second though,
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I gotta bring Chase
to another interview,
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00:06:00,464 --> 00:06:02,296
but I just wanted to run
something by you real quick.
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- Oh, sure, sure, sure, yeah.
- So, I know you don't have
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any time off, but if you ever do,
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how about this?
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A beach vacation. Right?
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Just the two of us, you know?
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And you don't have
to do anything all day
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but stare into my eyes.
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E-even when the food
comes, I'll feed you.
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I'll dress you, I'll bathe you,
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I'll do anything short of wiping you.
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You know what? No, no.
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I said you don't have to do anything
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so, I'll do it.
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I'll wipe you.
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Oh, you're... oh, you're
taking one of your quick naps.
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Okay, well, think about it and...
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I love you. Bye.
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Jesus Christ.
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00:06:38,586 --> 00:06:40,555
Okay, let's load up
and move to the park.
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- Company move.
- Wait, the park?
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00:06:43,576 --> 00:06:45,413
Now, my man, I gotta ask.
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Between Bambi, a
cologne, owning the Nets,
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how do you have time for a fashion line?
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00:06:51,045 --> 00:06:52,513
Well, when you care about something,
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- you make time for it.
- That's so true.
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Now how involved have you
been in the whole process?
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Really involved.
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Like, the fashion show is tonight
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and I'll be there the whole time.
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It's gonna be dope.
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Dope. Dope, dope.
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Whoa, uh,
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- what was that?
- Just some singing.
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Okay, well, Chase,
thanks for being here.
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Hey, stick around 'cause up next,
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00:07:13,884 --> 00:07:15,986
Jeff Probst is here to sing a song
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00:07:15,991 --> 00:07:18,713
off his new rock album, "Survive."
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00:07:18,718 --> 00:07:20,953
God, is literally
everyone singing but me?
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00:07:20,958 --> 00:07:24,662
Okay, this is take one
of Pat's music video.
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Roll the track.
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♪ I've got this feeling ♪
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♪ That Monday's gonna be fun ♪
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♪ Cause it's our 100th show, oh, whoa ♪
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00:07:41,366 --> 00:07:43,635
♪ Tell everyone you know ♪
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00:07:43,850 --> 00:07:46,920
♪ We got games and guests ♪
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00:07:46,925 --> 00:07:49,464
♪ It's gonna be the best ♪
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00:07:49,715 --> 00:07:53,080
♪ So everybody watch ♪
Everybody watch "Pat" ♪
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00:07:53,085 --> 00:07:54,386
And cut.
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Pat, that was perfect.
That'll be a great promo.
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00:07:56,704 --> 00:07:58,452
Oh, good, I'm glad.
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00:07:58,457 --> 00:08:00,726
All right, everyone. I
know it's been a long day
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00:08:00,731 --> 00:08:03,581
but that's officially a wrap on "Pat."
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00:08:03,586 --> 00:08:05,254
It is?
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00:08:05,435 --> 00:08:06,627
Oh, that's so great.
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00:08:06,632 --> 00:08:07,979
'Cause I'm actually
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00:08:07,984 --> 00:08:09,464
- starting to feel...
- Oh, I'm sorry.
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00:08:09,468 --> 00:08:10,788
That's a wrap on "Pat," the show.
209
00:08:10,793 --> 00:08:13,011
You still have "Tic Tac Toe," remember?
210
00:08:13,258 --> 00:08:14,393
Oh, right.
211
00:08:14,398 --> 00:08:16,151
Okay, Ticker, it's your turn.
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00:08:16,156 --> 00:08:17,287
Where do you want to put that X?
213
00:08:17,291 --> 00:08:18,739
I'm gonna go top right.
214
00:08:18,744 --> 00:08:20,279
Ooh, great job, Ticker.
215
00:08:20,284 --> 00:08:21,518
Tacker, take it away.
216
00:08:21,523 --> 00:08:23,511
Let's do bottom left.
217
00:08:23,516 --> 00:08:25,446
Hmm, interesting move, Tacker.
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00:08:25,451 --> 00:08:28,128
- Ticker, back to you.
- I know it's risky,
219
00:08:28,138 --> 00:08:29,973
but I'm gonna say...
220
00:08:29,978 --> 00:08:32,014
middle right.
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00:08:33,993 --> 00:08:36,362
Ooh, sorry, Ticker, you go Toed.
222
00:08:36,367 --> 00:08:38,769
It looks like the Tacker takes it.
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00:08:38,774 --> 00:08:40,309
All right, that's all for us.
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00:08:40,314 --> 00:08:41,659
I am Pat Dubek.
225
00:08:41,664 --> 00:08:44,934
I'll see you next time on "Tic Tac Toe."
226
00:08:45,032 --> 00:08:47,501
And cut. Okay, that's a wrap on Pat.
227
00:08:47,506 --> 00:08:49,503
Let's get her outta here.
She has to fly to LA.
228
00:08:49,508 --> 00:08:51,073
Great, thank you.
229
00:08:51,078 --> 00:08:52,270
Okay, let's get the audience loaded up.
230
00:08:52,274 --> 00:08:54,975
How long is a flight to Los Angeles?
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00:08:54,980 --> 00:08:56,215
I think six hours.
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00:08:56,220 --> 00:08:58,556
Oh, that's a nice amount of time.
233
00:08:58,561 --> 00:08:59,993
Yeah, so the show
thought we could use it
234
00:08:59,997 --> 00:09:01,399
to get ahead on your social posts
235
00:09:01,404 --> 00:09:03,069
for the next month.
Monday is Red Nose Day,
236
00:09:03,073 --> 00:09:04,685
so we'll start with
a quick vid for that.
237
00:09:04,690 --> 00:09:05,698
- Oh.
- Here's your nose.
238
00:09:05,703 --> 00:09:07,698
Then Tuesday is Autism Awareness Day.
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00:09:07,703 --> 00:09:09,504
Uh-huh.
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00:09:13,762 --> 00:09:15,797
God, where are they?
241
00:09:15,802 --> 00:09:17,018
Ee!
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00:09:17,772 --> 00:09:18,824
Hey.
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00:09:18,829 --> 00:09:20,549
Come on, come on, come
on, come on, come on.
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00:09:24,650 --> 00:09:26,207
Yay, you're here.
245
00:09:26,212 --> 00:09:29,381
Chasey, my favorite singer. You excited?
246
00:09:29,386 --> 00:09:30,988
- Sure.
- Oh, okay.
247
00:09:30,993 --> 00:09:32,503
Um, hi, Mom, how are you?
248
00:09:32,508 --> 00:09:35,144
You ready to strut your
stuff, you sexy bitch?
249
00:09:35,149 --> 00:09:36,918
Yeah, wait. What am I doing here again?
250
00:09:36,923 --> 00:09:39,667
What? You're walking
in Chase's fashion show.
251
00:09:39,672 --> 00:09:41,007
Oh, yeah, I knew that.
252
00:09:41,012 --> 00:09:42,510
Okay, we have to hurry
and get you dressed
253
00:09:42,514 --> 00:09:44,029
because the show is in ten.
254
00:09:44,034 --> 00:09:45,502
Oh, and this is your Win-A-Chance.
255
00:09:45,507 --> 00:09:47,028
She's gonna be walking
in the show with you.
256
00:09:47,032 --> 00:09:48,987
- What?
- Hi, I'm Kathy.
257
00:09:48,992 --> 00:09:51,699
- I'm your biggest fan.
- Thank you.
258
00:09:56,580 --> 00:09:58,849
Oh, hey, Shuli, can you talk for a sec?
259
00:09:59,044 --> 00:10:00,709
I'm just getting frustrated
cause Brooke and Streeter
260
00:10:00,713 --> 00:10:02,277
- won't listen to me...
- Chase, hold that thought.
261
00:10:02,281 --> 00:10:05,017
This is Ken Foster,
he's a buyer for Saks.
262
00:10:05,022 --> 00:10:07,624
I don't wanna meet a fucking
buyer for Saks right now.
263
00:10:07,629 --> 00:10:10,665
Whoa, he's not usually rude like that.
264
00:10:10,810 --> 00:10:12,311
You got lucky.
265
00:10:14,158 --> 00:10:17,361
- Hey, uh, Cary.
- Chase, this is so cool.
266
00:10:17,366 --> 00:10:19,193
Yeah, uh, do you have a sec?
267
00:10:19,198 --> 00:10:20,835
I'm just wondering if you
can help me with Brooke.
268
00:10:20,839 --> 00:10:22,600
Hi. Sorry.
269
00:10:22,605 --> 00:10:24,240
Can I just say I'm a huge fan
270
00:10:24,245 --> 00:10:26,128
- of both of you?
- Oh, thanks.
271
00:10:26,133 --> 00:10:28,102
And wait, how do you
guys know each other?
272
00:10:28,168 --> 00:10:30,834
What? Uh, I'm his brother.
273
00:10:30,839 --> 00:10:32,473
Whoa, no way.
274
00:10:32,478 --> 00:10:34,600
I just know you from being an actor.
275
00:10:34,605 --> 00:10:36,154
You do?
276
00:10:36,540 --> 00:10:37,841
My God.
277
00:10:38,089 --> 00:10:39,390
It finally happened.
278
00:10:39,395 --> 00:10:40,920
Sorry, Chase, I gotta go find Brooke.
279
00:10:40,925 --> 00:10:42,883
Or I guess anyone with ears.
280
00:10:47,809 --> 00:10:49,177
Oh, what's up, little man?
281
00:10:49,182 --> 00:10:50,422
Hold on, I'm shirtless.
282
00:10:50,427 --> 00:10:52,180
Let me cover up right quick.
283
00:10:55,793 --> 00:10:57,431
Ah, ha.
284
00:10:57,436 --> 00:10:59,900
There we go, baby. That's better.
285
00:10:59,967 --> 00:11:02,303
What's up, man? You
pumped for tonight or what?
286
00:11:02,308 --> 00:11:04,891
Yeah, I... I guess. Is Leah here?
287
00:11:04,896 --> 00:11:07,180
Oh, no, she's not coming.
288
00:11:07,326 --> 00:11:09,695
We... we broke up.
289
00:11:10,115 --> 00:11:12,518
Oh, I'm sorry.
290
00:11:12,523 --> 00:11:13,691
Are you okay?
291
00:11:13,696 --> 00:11:15,133
I'm a little sad,
292
00:11:15,138 --> 00:11:17,477
but it was the right thing to do.
293
00:11:17,777 --> 00:11:21,121
That's good. Um, can
I ask you something?
294
00:11:21,126 --> 00:11:22,928
Of course you can, little man.
295
00:11:22,933 --> 00:11:24,401
You know I'm always here for you.
296
00:11:24,406 --> 00:11:26,007
What's up, dude? What's going on?
297
00:11:26,012 --> 00:11:27,180
Talk to me.
298
00:11:27,185 --> 00:11:28,680
Okay.
299
00:11:28,685 --> 00:11:29,985
Lance, I just...
300
00:11:29,990 --> 00:11:31,559
I need to get this off my chest.
301
00:11:31,804 --> 00:11:33,105
Oh, sorry, Chase, I just...
302
00:11:33,110 --> 00:11:34,544
I have to talk to Lance in private,
303
00:11:34,549 --> 00:11:36,048
'cause I'm about to
say some adult phrases
304
00:11:36,052 --> 00:11:37,821
you should probably not hear.
305
00:11:37,826 --> 00:11:39,294
Come with me.
306
00:11:39,444 --> 00:11:42,297
Shit, that was one of the phrases.
307
00:11:45,251 --> 00:11:46,782
Knock, knock.
308
00:11:46,787 --> 00:11:48,722
Okay, Pat, you dressed? Let's see.
309
00:11:48,727 --> 00:11:50,454
Okay, yas.
310
00:11:50,459 --> 00:11:52,794
Oh, I'm sorry.
I can't hear you, Melanie.
311
00:11:52,799 --> 00:11:53,866
I'm Carissa.
312
00:11:53,871 --> 00:11:55,684
You look great. Now, stand still.
313
00:11:55,689 --> 00:11:57,421
I'm gonna put your shoes
on. They might feel weird
314
00:11:57,425 --> 00:11:59,894
'cause they're technically four shoes.
315
00:12:02,004 --> 00:12:03,670
I'm not gonna make a
whole thing out of this.
316
00:12:03,674 --> 00:12:05,833
I'm not into you. So
you don't have to worry.
317
00:12:05,838 --> 00:12:07,700
- You don't need to say this...
- No, I do.
318
00:12:08,025 --> 00:12:10,746
Last night meant nothing to
me. Honestly, when I came,
319
00:12:10,751 --> 00:12:12,573
I was thinking about Alessia Cara,
320
00:12:12,578 --> 00:12:14,336
who I'm managing, starting Monday.
321
00:12:14,341 --> 00:12:16,343
The point is, is that
I know I've done this
322
00:12:16,348 --> 00:12:18,183
before where we've, like, hung out
323
00:12:18,188 --> 00:12:20,357
and I fell for you like a little girl.
324
00:12:20,362 --> 00:12:22,216
But I'm not gonna do that this time.
325
00:12:22,221 --> 00:12:24,801
I'm not gonna be like,
"I love you, Lance.
326
00:12:24,806 --> 00:12:27,059
You're the one. You're
the love of my life."
327
00:12:27,064 --> 00:12:28,590
- Don't touch the headphones.
- Oh, sorry.
328
00:12:28,594 --> 00:12:30,122
Because that's pathetic
329
00:12:30,127 --> 00:12:31,895
and lame and you have a girlfriend.
330
00:12:31,900 --> 00:12:34,569
So, now, in a stunning reversal,
331
00:12:34,599 --> 00:12:37,419
I'm gonna give you a shitty, little kiss
332
00:12:37,424 --> 00:12:39,270
and walk away.
333
00:12:42,983 --> 00:12:44,217
Hey, Pat.
334
00:12:44,222 --> 00:12:46,301
I'm worried this outfit
is too revealing.
335
00:12:46,306 --> 00:12:49,209
- What do you think?
- I'm sorry, who are you?
336
00:12:49,214 --> 00:12:51,440
I'm your Win-A-Chance,
Kathy, from Bemidji.
337
00:12:51,445 --> 00:12:54,223
Oh, right, you're the
one who your husband died?
338
00:12:54,228 --> 00:12:55,786
Oh, no, you made me lasagna?
339
00:12:55,791 --> 00:12:56,988
The show's starting in three.
340
00:12:56,993 --> 00:12:58,194
I need all models out now.
341
00:12:58,199 --> 00:12:59,310
I still need to add Pat's belt.
342
00:12:59,314 --> 00:13:00,623
Okay then she's gonna have to run.
343
00:13:00,627 --> 00:13:01,973
- What?
- Okay, we're running.
344
00:13:01,978 --> 00:13:03,257
Let's run.
345
00:13:05,900 --> 00:13:07,199
♪ I'm going straight to the top ♪
346
00:13:07,203 --> 00:13:09,096
♪ I'm on my way to the top ♪
347
00:13:09,101 --> 00:13:10,697
♪ I'm going straight to the top ♪
348
00:13:10,702 --> 00:13:13,605
Sup, what's up, Los Angeles?
What's happening?
349
00:13:13,610 --> 00:13:15,653
My name is Lance Arroyo,
350
00:13:15,658 --> 00:13:18,995
and this little man right
here next to me is ChaseDreams.
351
00:13:19,000 --> 00:13:20,262
Chase!
352
00:13:20,769 --> 00:13:22,643
I don't wanna say too much,
353
00:13:22,648 --> 00:13:24,192
honestly, 'cause I'll cry,
354
00:13:24,197 --> 00:13:25,579
but I just want you guys to know,
355
00:13:25,584 --> 00:13:27,872
it means so much to
me that y'all are here.
356
00:13:27,877 --> 00:13:30,112
And I really wanna dab right now,
357
00:13:30,117 --> 00:13:32,886
but I tried backstage and
the plastic on my shirt
358
00:13:32,891 --> 00:13:35,661
almost ripped off my nips so I can't.
359
00:13:35,666 --> 00:13:38,489
So you wanna say anything, bro?
360
00:13:39,400 --> 00:13:41,372
Just start the show or whatever.
361
00:13:42,334 --> 00:13:46,171
God, he's really nailing
this fashion shithead thing.
362
00:13:51,780 --> 00:13:53,848
Whoa, this is so legit.
363
00:13:53,853 --> 00:13:55,855
I love that Mom is walking in this.
364
00:13:55,860 --> 00:13:58,596
I know. It's so fun, right?
365
00:13:58,601 --> 00:14:01,115
Pat's on the move,
I have Pat. We are very...
366
00:14:02,693 --> 00:14:04,650
♪ Take me to a party,
drinking all the drinks ♪
367
00:14:04,655 --> 00:14:06,287
♪ Sipping on Bacardi,
ain't no time to think ♪
368
00:14:06,291 --> 00:14:07,872
♪ Thinking make you make bad choices ♪
369
00:14:07,877 --> 00:14:09,342
♪ Hearing voices all up in your head ♪
370
00:14:09,346 --> 00:14:10,711
When you get to the end of the runway,
371
00:14:10,715 --> 00:14:11,872
favor your right side
372
00:14:11,877 --> 00:14:13,309
'cause that's where
the photographers are.
373
00:14:13,313 --> 00:14:14,862
You're gonna stand and do three...
374
00:14:16,540 --> 00:14:19,443
What... what did you say?
375
00:14:19,448 --> 00:14:24,104
♪ Now shout out to the fam
'cause they believe in me ♪
376
00:14:24,109 --> 00:14:26,278
♪ If you tryna strut
I'ma be disrespectful ♪
377
00:14:26,283 --> 00:14:27,918
♪ No thievin', hey! ♪
378
00:14:27,923 --> 00:14:30,544
Okay, I'm here with Pat.
Just have to go up the stairs.
379
00:14:30,549 --> 00:14:33,261
Okay, Pat, you're up.
Go, go. Walk, walk.
380
00:14:33,266 --> 00:14:35,849
Sorry, what is this
again? Where am I?
381
00:14:35,854 --> 00:14:38,180
- Just go, go, walk.
- Sorry.
382
00:14:43,841 --> 00:14:47,722
- Whoa, Mom looks so dope.
- Yes.
383
00:15:12,816 --> 00:15:14,839
- Oh, shit.
- What... what?
384
00:15:14,844 --> 00:15:16,012
Somebody call an ambulance.
385
00:15:16,017 --> 00:15:18,214
Mom? Mom?
386
00:15:18,793 --> 00:15:20,425
Mom!
387
00:15:22,064 --> 00:15:23,532
Oh, sorry.
388
00:15:23,616 --> 00:15:25,628
Sorry, I was just taking a little nap
389
00:15:25,633 --> 00:15:27,201
but I'm... I'm fine.
390
00:15:27,320 --> 00:15:29,331
Oh, okay, are you sure?
391
00:15:29,336 --> 00:15:30,404
Yeah, I'm totally fine.
392
00:15:30,409 --> 00:15:31,577
- Uh-huh.
- Okay...
393
00:15:31,582 --> 00:15:32,850
She's fine, she's fine.
394
00:15:32,855 --> 00:15:35,285
And I'm ready to host "Tic Tac Toe."
395
00:15:35,290 --> 00:15:38,093
♪ So everybody watch, everybody watch ♪
396
00:15:38,098 --> 00:15:39,578
That's so interesting, Justin Bartha.
397
00:15:39,583 --> 00:15:40,949
Oh, wow, Justin Bartha.
398
00:15:40,954 --> 00:15:43,457
Surprise, it's me, Pat!
399
00:15:43,462 --> 00:15:45,118
Oh, Kathy, thank you, Kathy.
400
00:15:45,123 --> 00:15:47,192
Oh, Streety. Thank you, Streety.
401
00:15:47,197 --> 00:15:48,862
Wait, there's no toilet
paper. There's no toilet paper.
402
00:15:48,866 --> 00:15:50,223
And Justin can't lose,
Justin can't lose.
403
00:15:50,227 --> 00:15:53,785
It's a tie! One, one.
My Tickers and my Tackers.
404
00:15:53,790 --> 00:15:55,292
Because, say it with me now,
405
00:15:55,297 --> 00:15:59,099
I love autism!
406
00:15:59,104 --> 00:16:02,238
Okay, Brooke, I actually
don't think she is fine.
407
00:16:05,763 --> 00:16:08,266
- That was so scary.
- I know.
408
00:16:08,271 --> 00:16:09,972
She looked so out of it.
409
00:16:10,055 --> 00:16:12,128
What was that song she was singing?
410
00:16:12,133 --> 00:16:13,331
It's just some little music video
411
00:16:13,335 --> 00:16:14,982
for her 100th show on Monday.
412
00:16:14,987 --> 00:16:16,988
Wait, Mom shot a music video today?
413
00:16:16,993 --> 00:16:18,418
I'm gonna go check on her.
414
00:16:18,423 --> 00:16:19,958
Even she's singing.
415
00:16:20,058 --> 00:16:22,902
We have to tell her
family. They're all waiting.
416
00:16:22,907 --> 00:16:25,183
No, she's not gonna bounce
back, she's braindead.
417
00:16:25,188 --> 00:16:26,857
Wait, what? She is?
418
00:16:26,862 --> 00:16:28,363
Oh, I'm sorry, I'm an actor.
419
00:16:28,368 --> 00:16:29,855
I was just practicing.
420
00:16:30,432 --> 00:16:32,132
- But that was believable?
- Yes.
421
00:16:32,137 --> 00:16:34,006
- Yeah, it was terrifying.
- Oh, wait.
422
00:16:34,011 --> 00:16:36,180
You're Cary Dubek.
423
00:16:36,185 --> 00:16:37,653
I'm actually in "Night Nurse" too.
424
00:16:37,658 --> 00:16:39,190
- Oh, cool.
- Yeah, I only have a few lines
425
00:16:39,194 --> 00:16:41,245
but you know, I'm really
trying get 'em right.
426
00:16:41,250 --> 00:16:43,176
So you excited about
the table read on Monday?
427
00:16:43,181 --> 00:16:45,777
Um, yeah, but can you
go get the real nurse?
428
00:16:45,782 --> 00:16:47,117
Yeah.
429
00:16:47,122 --> 00:16:48,199
She's fine.
430
00:16:48,204 --> 00:16:49,339
She was dehydrated,
431
00:16:49,344 --> 00:16:51,183
but we got her levels back to normal
432
00:16:51,188 --> 00:16:52,522
and she's resting comfortably.
433
00:16:52,527 --> 00:16:54,363
Family can go in and see her now.
434
00:16:57,690 --> 00:17:00,597
I should be included
because I'm basically family.
435
00:17:00,602 --> 00:17:02,550
I'm her lover.
436
00:17:06,963 --> 00:17:08,191
Hey, Mom.
437
00:17:08,196 --> 00:17:09,770
I'm sorry.
438
00:17:09,775 --> 00:17:11,209
I messed everything up.
439
00:17:11,214 --> 00:17:13,082
What? No. No, don't apologize.
440
00:17:13,087 --> 00:17:14,822
I just got confused.
441
00:17:15,113 --> 00:17:17,113
I think it's just been
getting a little much lately
442
00:17:17,118 --> 00:17:18,319
with the show
443
00:17:18,324 --> 00:17:19,592
and then all the Kathys
444
00:17:19,597 --> 00:17:21,181
and the "Tic Tac Toe" and...
445
00:17:21,186 --> 00:17:23,277
Why didn't you say something?
446
00:17:23,650 --> 00:17:24,909
I don't know.
447
00:17:24,914 --> 00:17:27,722
Mom, if you're not happy,
I wanna know about it.
448
00:17:27,727 --> 00:17:28,961
You just gotta tell me.
449
00:17:28,966 --> 00:17:30,724
I mean, I'm your manager, you know?
450
00:17:30,729 --> 00:17:32,731
It's my job to listen to my clients.
451
00:17:32,736 --> 00:17:34,644
Oh, my God. Fuck you, Brooke.
452
00:17:35,195 --> 00:17:36,195
What?
453
00:17:36,200 --> 00:17:38,284
- Fuck you.
- Chase.
454
00:17:38,289 --> 00:17:40,667
You literally never
listen to your clients.
455
00:17:40,672 --> 00:17:42,222
Wait, what?
456
00:17:42,824 --> 00:17:45,059
- What are you talking about?
- I wanna be a singer.
457
00:17:45,377 --> 00:17:47,278
And I've tried to tell
you like, a thousand times,
458
00:17:47,282 --> 00:17:48,817
but you just don't listen.
459
00:17:48,822 --> 00:17:52,589
Um, but you are a singer.
460
00:17:52,594 --> 00:17:54,194
I mean, how would you
have a fashion show
461
00:17:54,199 --> 00:17:55,267
if you weren't a singer?
462
00:17:55,272 --> 00:17:57,011
I mean, I actually wanna sing.
463
00:17:57,016 --> 00:17:59,620
Not do all this dumb shit.
Why can't I just sing?
464
00:17:59,850 --> 00:18:01,986
Okay, um...
465
00:18:02,260 --> 00:18:04,105
well, I don't know why only the woman
466
00:18:04,110 --> 00:18:05,978
is getting attacked here.
Like, why aren't you
467
00:18:05,983 --> 00:18:08,613
also mad at Streeter?
We're co-managers.
468
00:18:08,618 --> 00:18:09,916
'Cause I don't care about Streeter.
469
00:18:09,920 --> 00:18:11,054
You're my actual family.
470
00:18:11,059 --> 00:18:12,894
Hey, we are basically family.
471
00:18:12,899 --> 00:18:14,901
- I'm your mother's lover.
- Ew.
472
00:18:14,990 --> 00:18:16,670
Buddy, why don't we
lay off Brooke, okay?
473
00:18:16,675 --> 00:18:19,244
Like, I know you're
upset, but she has been
474
00:18:19,249 --> 00:18:21,875
working really hard for
you. Her job is hard.
475
00:18:21,880 --> 00:18:23,425
Well, she wouldn't even have her job
476
00:18:23,430 --> 00:18:24,898
if it wasn't for me.
477
00:18:25,250 --> 00:18:26,551
Also, why do you care?
478
00:18:26,556 --> 00:18:28,152
I haven't seen you in like, six months.
479
00:18:28,157 --> 00:18:30,183
Jesus, what?
480
00:18:31,489 --> 00:18:33,424
Of course I care.
481
00:18:33,735 --> 00:18:35,270
You and Mom just have your things
482
00:18:35,275 --> 00:18:37,034
and I've been out trying to get mine.
483
00:18:37,039 --> 00:18:38,975
Cool, well, Mom's in the hospital
484
00:18:38,980 --> 00:18:40,113
and I'm a kid.
485
00:18:40,726 --> 00:18:42,227
So...
486
00:18:42,232 --> 00:18:44,865
Oh, Chasey, I didn't know
you were so mad at everyone.
487
00:18:44,870 --> 00:18:46,638
That's cause I never see you.
488
00:18:46,643 --> 00:18:48,111
Like, I literally never see you.
489
00:18:48,116 --> 00:18:50,952
No one does. No one
ever sees Pat anymore.
490
00:18:50,957 --> 00:18:52,606
Least of all me.
491
00:18:52,611 --> 00:18:54,646
- And it's all Brooke's fault.
- What?
492
00:18:54,651 --> 00:18:56,186
How the fuck are we back on me again?
493
00:18:56,191 --> 00:18:58,126
Yeah, everything here
is not Brooke's fault.
494
00:18:58,131 --> 00:18:59,813
- Thank you.
- Yes, it is.
495
00:18:59,818 --> 00:19:01,777
You've been piling so much work on Pat,
496
00:19:01,782 --> 00:19:04,433
I never get to see my baby.
497
00:19:04,438 --> 00:19:05,706
Okay, first of all,
498
00:19:05,711 --> 00:19:07,745
I hate the sentence that you just said.
499
00:19:07,750 --> 00:19:09,685
And second of all, may I remind you
500
00:19:09,690 --> 00:19:11,480
that we are co-managers.
501
00:19:11,485 --> 00:19:13,253
I'm not, like, adding work for Mom
502
00:19:13,258 --> 00:19:14,418
without you knowing about it.
503
00:19:14,423 --> 00:19:16,191
- Yes, you are.
- No, I'm not.
504
00:19:16,196 --> 00:19:18,097
What about "Tic Tac Toe?"
505
00:19:18,833 --> 00:19:20,519
I...
506
00:19:21,207 --> 00:19:23,303
Okay, yeah.
507
00:19:23,308 --> 00:19:25,511
I might have pulled the
trigger on that on my own.
508
00:19:25,516 --> 00:19:26,659
Shit.
509
00:19:26,664 --> 00:19:28,003
But Mom said yes.
510
00:19:28,008 --> 00:19:29,488
She said that she was happy to do it.
511
00:19:29,493 --> 00:19:31,511
- Right, Mom?
- She's right, I did say that.
512
00:19:31,516 --> 00:19:33,785
I said I didn't have to and
if someone else wanted to,
513
00:19:33,790 --> 00:19:35,959
they could but if she
thought it was a good idea,
514
00:19:35,964 --> 00:19:37,818
- I was happy to do it.
- Oh, my God.
515
00:19:37,823 --> 00:19:39,524
That's a no, Brooke.
516
00:19:39,529 --> 00:19:40,897
Mom just never wants to complain,
517
00:19:40,902 --> 00:19:42,308
but that's so clearly a no.
518
00:19:42,313 --> 00:19:43,944
She was trying to tell
you but you just...
519
00:19:43,948 --> 00:19:45,511
You don't listen!
520
00:19:47,146 --> 00:19:48,941
Okay, um...
521
00:19:49,455 --> 00:19:52,261
yeah, I... okay.
522
00:19:52,266 --> 00:19:54,435
Brooke, you just have to learn
523
00:19:54,440 --> 00:19:56,449
to read between the lines.
524
00:19:56,454 --> 00:19:58,855
I mean, how can you not see
what you doing to your...
525
00:19:58,860 --> 00:20:00,159
Your poor mother?
526
00:20:00,164 --> 00:20:01,699
Okay, you're exhausting her.
527
00:20:01,704 --> 00:20:03,506
You're draining her.
528
00:20:03,583 --> 00:20:05,418
You're suffocating her.
529
00:20:05,423 --> 00:20:07,158
I mean, a woman can only handle so much.
530
00:20:07,163 --> 00:20:09,349
And then it's just too much work.
531
00:20:09,354 --> 00:20:12,280
Oh, my God, Streeter.
You're too much work.
532
00:20:14,896 --> 00:20:18,058
- What's this?
- You're too much work, okay?
533
00:20:18,063 --> 00:20:20,655
Your personality adds work to my day.
534
00:20:21,066 --> 00:20:22,400
No, I'm sorry.
535
00:20:22,405 --> 00:20:24,140
We just established
that Brooke is the one
536
00:20:24,145 --> 00:20:25,543
who's adding too much work to your day.
537
00:20:25,547 --> 00:20:27,834
You're so nice, but you're so needy.
538
00:20:27,839 --> 00:20:29,574
People need things from me all day long.
539
00:20:29,579 --> 00:20:31,548
Every day, every second.
I don't like coming home
540
00:20:31,553 --> 00:20:32,633
and having you need me too.
541
00:20:32,638 --> 00:20:34,249
It's exhausting.
542
00:20:34,728 --> 00:20:35,963
Well, I'm sorry.
543
00:20:35,968 --> 00:20:38,203
I just love you and I just wanna...
544
00:20:38,208 --> 00:20:39,943
spend every waking moment with you.
545
00:20:39,948 --> 00:20:41,749
I know and I don't like that.
546
00:20:42,032 --> 00:20:43,734
It's not the energy I want in a partner.
547
00:20:43,739 --> 00:20:45,272
It's not good to me.
548
00:20:49,142 --> 00:20:50,577
Oh.
549
00:20:52,359 --> 00:20:55,358
Mom, I really am. I'm so sorry.
550
00:20:55,363 --> 00:20:56,528
I didn't mean to overload you.
551
00:20:56,532 --> 00:20:58,467
I think I just got distracted
552
00:20:58,472 --> 00:21:02,014
trying to take care of myself.
553
00:21:02,019 --> 00:21:03,820
I mean, not that that's an excuse.
554
00:21:03,825 --> 00:21:05,874
It's okay, honey. I understand.
555
00:21:06,123 --> 00:21:08,626
I just... I miss my life.
556
00:21:08,710 --> 00:21:10,538
I wanna see my kids.
557
00:21:10,543 --> 00:21:11,577
I only ever see Kathys.
558
00:21:11,582 --> 00:21:14,709
But I wanna see Chase and Cary.
559
00:21:14,714 --> 00:21:16,716
And Jess! I don't even know how Jess is.
560
00:21:16,721 --> 00:21:19,156
Oh, um, we broke up.
561
00:21:19,161 --> 00:21:21,264
Like three months ago.
562
00:21:21,269 --> 00:21:22,437
You did?
563
00:21:22,442 --> 00:21:24,391
Then I wanna see Lance. Can I see Lance?
564
00:21:24,396 --> 00:21:26,677
I didn't even know you two
were back together until today.
565
00:21:26,682 --> 00:21:27,917
What? Oh, no.
566
00:21:27,922 --> 00:21:29,157
We're not back together.
567
00:21:29,162 --> 00:21:30,797
- He has a girlfriend.
- No, he doesn't.
568
00:21:30,802 --> 00:21:32,444
They broke up this morning.
569
00:21:32,449 --> 00:21:35,084
- What?
- I just... I hate this.
570
00:21:35,089 --> 00:21:36,849
I hate that I don't
even know what's going on
571
00:21:36,854 --> 00:21:38,467
with my own family.
572
00:21:39,106 --> 00:21:40,640
It makes me sad.
573
00:21:40,645 --> 00:21:43,264
- Oh, Mom.
- It makes me so sad.
574
00:21:43,269 --> 00:21:44,952
Okay, I have an idea.
575
00:21:44,957 --> 00:21:47,526
I've been thinking and I
know what Pat needs right now
576
00:21:47,531 --> 00:21:49,506
more than anything in the world.
577
00:21:50,435 --> 00:21:52,271
- A beach vacation.
- Oh, my God.
578
00:21:52,276 --> 00:21:55,746
No, just... the four of you.
579
00:21:55,860 --> 00:21:57,963
- What?
- Yeah.
580
00:21:58,023 --> 00:22:00,825
Just your family.
581
00:22:00,908 --> 00:22:04,631
Your... real family.
582
00:22:04,899 --> 00:22:07,636
Oh, okay.
583
00:22:07,642 --> 00:22:09,177
Um...
584
00:22:09,314 --> 00:22:11,483
that actually sounds nice.
585
00:22:11,669 --> 00:22:13,071
I would really love that, Streeter.
586
00:22:13,076 --> 00:22:14,377
Yeah?
587
00:22:14,476 --> 00:22:16,803
Chasey, what do you think?
588
00:22:17,769 --> 00:22:19,053
Yeah, that could be good.
589
00:22:19,058 --> 00:22:20,926
Great. Okay, I will take care of it.
590
00:22:20,931 --> 00:22:22,303
I will handle everything.
591
00:22:22,308 --> 00:22:24,911
The four of you can leave on Monday.
592
00:22:25,063 --> 00:22:26,564
Uh, wait, what?
593
00:22:26,569 --> 00:22:28,588
- You mean, like, this Monday?
- Yeah.
594
00:22:28,593 --> 00:22:30,524
That'll be fine, right? I mean,
Brooke, Pat and Chase
595
00:22:30,528 --> 00:22:31,826
are your only clients so you'll free.
596
00:22:31,830 --> 00:22:33,098
And Cary can be gay anywhere.
597
00:22:33,103 --> 00:22:34,405
So, Monday it is.
598
00:22:34,410 --> 00:22:36,846
Or if you needed a
little more time to...
599
00:22:36,851 --> 00:22:38,019
No. No, no, no, no, no.
600
00:22:38,024 --> 00:22:39,189
It's fine, don't worry about it.
601
00:22:39,193 --> 00:22:40,866
I will figure this out, okay?
602
00:22:40,871 --> 00:22:42,439
Clearly, the family needs it.
603
00:22:42,444 --> 00:22:46,006
And what's more important than family?
604
00:22:48,400 --> 00:22:50,733
Yeah. Uh...
605
00:22:51,458 --> 00:22:53,686
That's a good point, Streeter.
606
00:22:55,098 --> 00:22:56,766
Just a sec.
607
00:23:00,670 --> 00:23:03,178
Oh, my fucking God.
608
00:23:04,156 --> 00:23:06,825
I can't believe this is happening again.
609
00:23:09,139 --> 00:23:10,983
What do we do, Brooke? What do we do?
610
00:23:10,988 --> 00:23:12,389
Just both give up our things again?
611
00:23:12,394 --> 00:23:13,905
I know, I...
612
00:23:14,867 --> 00:23:18,338
- I don't know, Cary.
- I mean, I wanna be a good son
613
00:23:18,343 --> 00:23:21,241
and I feel guilty I didn't
know Chase was so upset.
614
00:23:21,246 --> 00:23:24,819
It's just, like, I've been
trying at this for so long.
615
00:23:24,824 --> 00:23:26,392
Fuck!
616
00:23:27,754 --> 00:23:29,639
She's taken a turn for the worse.
617
00:23:29,644 --> 00:23:30,809
You might wanna say your goodbyes.
618
00:23:30,813 --> 00:23:31,814
Holy shit, what?
619
00:23:31,819 --> 00:23:33,387
No, no, he's just an actor.
620
00:23:33,392 --> 00:23:34,936
Jesus Christ, dude.
621
00:23:34,941 --> 00:23:36,276
It's very good though.
622
00:23:36,281 --> 00:23:38,082
- It's very believable.
- Thank you, Cary.
623
00:23:38,087 --> 00:23:39,741
See you on Monday.
624
00:23:40,221 --> 00:23:42,163
Oh, my God.
625
00:23:44,973 --> 00:23:46,775
So, what do we do?
626
00:23:46,826 --> 00:23:49,045
What are we both supposed to do?
627
00:23:56,465 --> 00:23:59,068
Oh, this is so nice, Chasey.
628
00:23:59,073 --> 00:24:00,875
I love not being in hair and makeup.
629
00:24:00,880 --> 00:24:02,281
Oh, I know, me too.
630
00:24:02,483 --> 00:24:05,686
Okay, I have one Caesar
salad for Mrs. Dubek
631
00:24:05,691 --> 00:24:08,249
and one cheeseburger for Mr. Dubek.
632
00:24:08,254 --> 00:24:10,656
- This looks delicious.
- Yeah, thank you.
633
00:24:10,661 --> 00:24:12,029
My pleasure.
634
00:24:12,318 --> 00:24:15,187
Oh, and I also have
six orders of tater tots
635
00:24:15,192 --> 00:24:17,553
and sliced cheese on a plate for...
636
00:24:17,558 --> 00:24:19,860
Ooh, that's for me!
637
00:24:19,865 --> 00:24:21,905
Oh, my God, I love vacation.
638
00:24:21,910 --> 00:24:23,511
You look so pretty. I love your dress.
639
00:24:23,516 --> 00:24:24,866
Thanks, Mom.
640
00:24:24,871 --> 00:24:26,739
I know it looks like a lot, but
641
00:24:26,744 --> 00:24:28,246
it goes down quickly.
642
00:24:28,251 --> 00:24:31,022
Okay. Am I missing anything?
643
00:24:31,027 --> 00:24:34,030
Um, let me see. One, two, three.
644
00:24:34,035 --> 00:24:35,336
Nope, I think that's everything.
645
00:24:35,341 --> 00:24:37,350
- Okay, bon appétit.
- Thank you.
646
00:24:37,355 --> 00:24:38,990
Wait, so is he just not eating or...
647
00:24:38,995 --> 00:24:40,627
He said he wasn't that
hungry so he's just gonna
648
00:24:40,631 --> 00:24:42,889
- split my burger with me.
- Okay, gay.
649
00:24:42,894 --> 00:24:44,295
- Brookie.
- What?
650
00:24:44,300 --> 00:24:46,336
I can make jokes like
that. We're on vacation.
651
00:24:46,341 --> 00:24:48,128
Plus, Cary isn't even here.
652
00:24:48,133 --> 00:24:50,492
Hey, that burger looks great.
653
00:24:50,497 --> 00:24:53,166
Thank you for splitting
it with me, buddy, no homo.
654
00:24:53,171 --> 00:24:54,769
Streeter, you can't say stuff like that.
655
00:24:54,773 --> 00:24:56,702
- We're on vacation.
- Okay, we're all here.
656
00:24:56,707 --> 00:24:58,436
Let's eat.
657
00:24:58,724 --> 00:25:00,026
Cheers, everybody.
658
00:25:00,031 --> 00:25:01,833
Cheers.
659
00:25:01,867 --> 00:25:03,655
That's sweet, Chasey.
660
00:25:03,660 --> 00:25:05,662
And Brooke got tater tots for the table.
661
00:25:05,667 --> 00:25:07,280
- So nice.
- No, no, no, no.
662
00:25:07,285 --> 00:25:08,949
- Those are my tots.
- These are your tots.
663
00:25:08,953 --> 00:25:10,188
These are my tots.
664
00:25:10,193 --> 00:25:11,324
I'll give you some fries if you want.
665
00:25:11,328 --> 00:25:12,496
I'll take some fries.
666
00:25:12,501 --> 00:25:14,937
Oh, hey, there was a surfer out here
667
00:25:14,942 --> 00:25:17,791
earlier this morning, so
cool. The waves were big.
668
00:25:17,796 --> 00:25:19,293
- Can we go surfing tomorrow?
- Yeah, absolutely.
669
00:25:19,297 --> 00:25:20,382
It'll be fun.
670
00:25:20,387 --> 00:25:24,289
Synced & corrected by QueenMaddie
www.addic7ed.com
671
00:25:24,803 --> 00:25:26,817
Hey, everybody and welcome
to "The Gay Minute,"
672
00:25:26,822 --> 00:25:28,023
sponsored by Advil.
673
00:25:28,028 --> 00:25:30,013
I'm your brand-new host, Curtis Paltrow,
674
00:25:30,018 --> 00:25:31,586
taking over for Cary Dubek
675
00:25:31,591 --> 00:25:32,693
who's about to start shooting
676
00:25:32,697 --> 00:25:34,786
his first movie, "Night Nurse."
677
00:25:34,791 --> 00:25:36,793
Cary, it has been a long, hard road,
678
00:25:36,798 --> 00:25:38,169
but you never gave up
679
00:25:38,174 --> 00:25:39,442
and it's all gonna finally
680
00:25:39,447 --> 00:25:41,182
pay off for you tomorrow,
681
00:25:41,187 --> 00:25:43,919
March 13, 2020.
682
00:25:44,215 --> 00:25:45,786
Anyway, in Gay News,
683
00:25:45,791 --> 00:25:47,487
Laura Dern fell.
48795
Can't find what you're looking for?
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