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1
00:00:07,395 --> 00:00:09,823
Oh, man, I'm fucking starving.
2
00:00:09,824 --> 00:00:11,893
Ugh, I know, man. Orgies
always make me ravenous.
3
00:00:11,918 --> 00:00:13,047
Oh, shit, that's right. How'd that go?
4
00:00:13,048 --> 00:00:15,057
It was, uh...
5
00:00:15,058 --> 00:00:17,017
- it would've been good.
- Oh.
6
00:00:17,018 --> 00:00:19,017
- No, no, no!
- What the fuck?
7
00:00:19,018 --> 00:00:21,857
Take care with that, you peons!
8
00:00:21,858 --> 00:00:23,887
That's a priceless family heirloom!
9
00:00:25,908 --> 00:00:27,356
You there.
10
00:00:27,456 --> 00:00:28,992
You can see me, can't you?
11
00:00:30,992 --> 00:00:33,017
- Hey, what's up?
- Huh?
12
00:00:33,018 --> 00:00:34,947
Sir? Sir!
13
00:00:34,972 --> 00:00:36,141
If you have to take a shit so bad,
14
00:00:36,142 --> 00:00:38,072
why didn't you just use
the Starbucks back there?
15
00:00:38,172 --> 00:00:39,543
Ah, they got cold seats.
I don't like it.
16
00:00:39,568 --> 00:00:41,135
You could've used the Sbarro,
17
00:00:41,160 --> 00:00:42,943
but they have that weird
token system, right?
18
00:00:42,944 --> 00:00:44,963
Please, sir, I demand that you halt!
19
00:00:44,989 --> 00:00:46,968
Let's just hurry up. Come on.
20
00:00:46,969 --> 00:00:48,968
- The lines are always long.
- I have a meaty
21
00:00:48,969 --> 00:00:51,059
proposition for you.
22
00:00:59,611 --> 00:01:02,944
- Synced and corrected by hawken45 -
- www.addic7ed.com -
23
00:01:27,595 --> 00:01:28,784
Oh, man!
24
00:01:29,619 --> 00:01:31,574
This burger is so fucking delicious.
25
00:01:31,575 --> 00:01:32,989
My mouth is watering
while I'm eating it.
26
00:01:33,014 --> 00:01:34,427
I didn't know that was possible.
27
00:01:34,428 --> 00:01:36,504
- Why aren't you eating?!
- I don't know.
28
00:01:36,529 --> 00:01:38,408
I want to so bad.
29
00:01:38,409 --> 00:01:39,312
I know why.
30
00:01:39,411 --> 00:01:43,300
Because you're in the
presence of Beatrix II,
31
00:01:43,301 --> 00:01:45,350
Duchess of Stoubridge.
32
00:01:45,858 --> 00:01:47,887
So the only thing you're hungry for...
33
00:01:48,744 --> 00:01:51,300
- No.
- are my sweet juices.
34
00:01:51,821 --> 00:01:53,780
Oh, God. Okay, Clyde,
a ghost followed us home.
35
00:01:53,857 --> 00:01:55,246
I'm sorry. I've been
hiding it from you.
36
00:01:55,321 --> 00:01:57,045
I had been trying to ignore her
like Danny Poker would,
37
00:01:57,145 --> 00:01:58,207
but she's fully naked
38
00:01:58,208 --> 00:02:01,336
and it is very, very hard to look away.
39
00:02:02,388 --> 00:02:04,427
There's a naked ghost
in this apartment right now?
40
00:02:04,428 --> 00:02:05,946
Yeah.
41
00:02:05,947 --> 00:02:08,906
- How naked is she?
- She's the kind of naked
42
00:02:08,907 --> 00:02:10,976
that leaves absolutely
nothing to the imagination,
43
00:02:10,977 --> 00:02:12,846
but you kind of wish
that some parts were covered
44
00:02:12,847 --> 00:02:13,926
so you could imagine them instead.
45
00:02:13,927 --> 00:02:15,036
That's so fucking hot.
46
00:02:15,037 --> 00:02:18,956
Mm, you're so round and pale.
47
00:02:18,957 --> 00:02:19,996
That's very nice.
48
00:02:19,997 --> 00:02:21,021
Um, would you mind getting up
49
00:02:21,121 --> 00:02:23,112
because, uh, you're smothering my fries
50
00:02:23,113 --> 00:02:24,749
- with your royal buttress.
- Oh! No!
51
00:02:24,750 --> 00:02:26,828
- Uh, please stay there!
- Don't. Clyde.
52
00:02:26,829 --> 00:02:28,858
No, Clyde, don't! Ugh.
53
00:02:28,859 --> 00:02:30,748
No, Clyde! Oh, don't...
54
00:02:30,749 --> 00:02:32,509
did you just rub it in her puss?
55
00:02:33,548 --> 00:02:34,607
It definitely adds something...
56
00:02:34,735 --> 00:02:36,092
- different.
- Oh, my God, Clyde.
57
00:02:36,093 --> 00:02:37,665
You're making this so much
harder than it has to be.
58
00:02:37,641 --> 00:02:39,286
Okay, you know what?
Why don't you just tell me
59
00:02:39,287 --> 00:02:41,486
- what it is you want?
- Mm, I like a lord
60
00:02:41,511 --> 00:02:43,500
- who really gets down to it.
- Great.
61
00:02:43,501 --> 00:02:45,869
Well, you see, I was
having my portrait done
62
00:02:45,894 --> 00:02:47,383
by a very fine painter.
63
00:02:47,384 --> 00:02:49,931
But when he showed it to
me, it was so dreadful!
64
00:02:49,956 --> 00:02:51,995
- It looked nothing like me!
- Mm-hmm.
65
00:02:51,996 --> 00:02:54,025
I was so taken aback that I choked
66
00:02:54,026 --> 00:02:55,985
on the handful of figs I was eating.
67
00:02:55,986 --> 00:02:57,875
- Did you?
- I need someone
68
00:02:57,876 --> 00:02:59,005
to fix this monstrosity
69
00:02:59,006 --> 00:03:00,885
before anyone else lays eyes on it.
70
00:03:00,886 --> 00:03:02,005
Mm-hmm, okay, great.
71
00:03:02,006 --> 00:03:04,015
Do you have any idea
where this painting is?
72
00:03:04,016 --> 00:03:06,865
Smotherbee's. It's being
auctioned off today.
73
00:03:06,866 --> 00:03:08,985
55 and 60.
74
00:03:08,986 --> 00:03:10,005
Anyone, 60?
75
00:03:10,006 --> 00:03:11,935
60.
76
00:03:11,936 --> 00:03:12,995
I have 60.
77
00:03:12,996 --> 00:03:15,905
And sold to the gentleman
78
00:03:15,906 --> 00:03:17,846
with the off-putting facial hair.
79
00:03:20,046 --> 00:03:22,965
Next up, the Duchess of Stoubridge,
80
00:03:22,966 --> 00:03:24,945
a 16th-century portrait...
81
00:03:24,946 --> 00:03:26,905
Wait till you see this monstrosity.
82
00:03:26,906 --> 00:03:27,945
It's appalling.
83
00:03:27,946 --> 00:03:29,935
No resemblance whatsoever.
84
00:03:29,936 --> 00:03:32,915
With this portrait that
upon her first viewing
85
00:03:32,916 --> 00:03:34,955
she choked to death
on a handful of figs.
86
00:03:34,956 --> 00:03:36,448
Are you serious?
87
00:03:36,449 --> 00:03:37,578
You must be jesting.
88
00:03:38,173 --> 00:03:39,242
It's a nightmare!
89
00:03:39,619 --> 00:03:41,046
Look under my face!
90
00:03:41,047 --> 00:03:44,086
I gotta say, it's, uh...
it's pretty spot-on.
91
00:03:44,612 --> 00:03:45,948
- One chin?
- Yeah.
92
00:03:45,949 --> 00:03:48,500
One chin? What am I,
a fucking peasant?!
93
00:03:48,525 --> 00:03:50,463
Okay. All right, shut up. I'll fix it.
94
00:03:50,846 --> 00:03:52,247
- Is that her?
- Yeah.
95
00:03:52,871 --> 00:03:54,900
Now can you see why I have
a hard time eating around her?
96
00:03:54,901 --> 00:03:58,900
Yeah. It's hard to eat
with a diamond-hard boner.
97
00:03:58,901 --> 00:04:01,880
And we'll start the bidding at 50,000.
98
00:04:02,403 --> 00:04:03,570
I have 50,000.
99
00:04:03,571 --> 00:04:05,240
- Do I hear 60?
- Fuck me.
100
00:04:05,265 --> 00:04:07,782
- 65?
- As you wish, my lord.
101
00:04:07,783 --> 00:04:09,789
- No.
- Ride me hard
102
00:04:09,790 --> 00:04:11,789
and put me away wet.
103
00:04:11,814 --> 00:04:12,933
You're such a pervert! No!
104
00:04:12,934 --> 00:04:14,873
I meant how the fuck
am I gonna pay for that?
105
00:04:14,874 --> 00:04:16,823
Are you not royalty?
106
00:04:16,824 --> 00:04:18,933
Well, I have the bank account of a...
107
00:04:18,934 --> 00:04:21,833
somebody from your time
who ate garbage probably.
108
00:04:21,834 --> 00:04:23,893
I have 75. Do I hear 80?
109
00:04:23,894 --> 00:04:26,863
I have 80 from one foot in the grave.
110
00:04:27,197 --> 00:04:28,556
Do I hear 90?
111
00:04:28,581 --> 00:04:30,863
I have 90 from the gentleman...
112
00:04:31,531 --> 00:04:33,993
Uh... fashionably late
to the argyle party.
113
00:04:33,994 --> 00:04:36,853
100 from one foot in the grave.
114
00:04:36,854 --> 00:04:38,261
- Do I hear 110?
- What... I don't...
115
00:04:38,286 --> 00:04:41,255
Going once, going twice,
116
00:04:41,256 --> 00:04:43,647
- and sold for 100,000...
- Shit!
117
00:04:43,648 --> 00:04:45,637
To a man who will barely enjoy it
118
00:04:45,638 --> 00:04:46,767
before he dies.
119
00:04:46,768 --> 00:04:48,667
Great, what the fuck am I gonna do now?
120
00:04:48,668 --> 00:04:49,727
Here.
121
00:04:49,728 --> 00:04:54,233
Let me get your creative juices flowing.
122
00:04:54,258 --> 00:04:56,218
No. Ugh.
123
00:04:57,538 --> 00:04:59,846
- Mm.
- Oh, shit, stop.
124
00:04:59,871 --> 00:05:01,890
Does that give you any big ideas?
125
00:05:01,891 --> 00:05:03,960
No, just nausea.
126
00:05:03,961 --> 00:05:05,840
- Really?
- Yeah.
127
00:05:05,841 --> 00:05:06,890
That's odd.
128
00:05:06,891 --> 00:05:08,413
In my experience,
129
00:05:08,414 --> 00:05:11,483
there's nothing a face
full of fruit can't solve.
130
00:05:18,174 --> 00:05:19,485
Hey, how you doing, sir?
131
00:05:19,486 --> 00:05:21,527
I'm Jack Slenderson with Smotherbee's.
132
00:05:21,528 --> 00:05:23,455
We just want to congratulate you
133
00:05:23,456 --> 00:05:25,048
on your winning bid this afternoon,
134
00:05:25,073 --> 00:05:27,052
and as a token of our appreciation,
135
00:05:27,054 --> 00:05:30,592
wanted you to have this extremely
large edible arrangement.
136
00:05:30,593 --> 00:05:32,671
- Well, thank you.
- Does the foyer work?
137
00:05:32,672 --> 00:05:33,731
Yeah.
138
00:06:17,702 --> 00:06:19,651
Ah.
139
00:06:19,652 --> 00:06:21,612
Mm.
140
00:06:33,762 --> 00:06:35,692
What the fuck?
141
00:06:40,592 --> 00:06:43,601
Holy shit, a cat burglar.
142
00:06:43,602 --> 00:06:45,086
Oh, fuck this shit.
143
00:06:47,552 --> 00:06:48,661
Damn it!
144
00:06:49,173 --> 00:06:50,320
It's the fruit. It was the fruit!
145
00:06:50,321 --> 00:06:51,671
I was aiming at your face.
146
00:06:51,672 --> 00:06:53,571
What is that? What are you...
147
00:06:53,572 --> 00:06:55,561
Whoa, what's that?
148
00:06:56,087 --> 00:06:57,186
All right, you done?
149
00:06:57,187 --> 00:06:58,455
Listen to me, buddy. Hey!
150
00:06:58,456 --> 00:07:00,465
There's only one exit out
of here and it's behind me.
151
00:07:00,466 --> 00:07:02,005
So I'm gonna give you
to the count of three
152
00:07:02,006 --> 00:07:03,548
to give me that fucking painting back,
153
00:07:03,549 --> 00:07:04,557
you piece of shit.
154
00:07:04,559 --> 00:07:05,768
One,
155
00:07:05,769 --> 00:07:07,658
two...
156
00:07:08,107 --> 00:07:09,196
I can't tell your ethnicity.
157
00:07:09,197 --> 00:07:10,798
Maybe you need me to count in Spanish.
158
00:07:10,799 --> 00:07:11,936
Uno,
159
00:07:11,937 --> 00:07:13,816
dos...
160
00:07:18,877 --> 00:07:20,876
Whoa.
161
00:07:20,877 --> 00:07:22,797
Disappear without a tres.
162
00:07:25,817 --> 00:07:27,846
- Mm!
- Hey, how'd it go?
163
00:07:27,847 --> 00:07:28,966
Really bad.
164
00:07:29,448 --> 00:07:31,222
I got into a dogfight
with a cat burglar.
165
00:07:31,223 --> 00:07:32,801
And, what, he ate all the
fruit off your body?
166
00:07:32,802 --> 00:07:34,880
No, Clyde, I'm telling
you I got robbed.
167
00:07:35,192 --> 00:07:37,248
You just let a guy steal the painting
168
00:07:37,273 --> 00:07:39,152
like a bitch? Like, there was
no scuffle or anything?
169
00:07:39,153 --> 00:07:39,866
Did you just call me a bitch?
170
00:07:39,867 --> 00:07:41,695
I didn't fucking hand
it over like a bitch.
171
00:07:41,696 --> 00:07:42,755
There was a big scuffle.
172
00:07:42,756 --> 00:07:44,086
I threw some shit at him really hard.
173
00:07:44,111 --> 00:07:45,160
- Nice.
- Yeah!
174
00:07:45,161 --> 00:07:47,020
Dirtied up his shoe real good.
175
00:07:47,874 --> 00:07:49,045
- Oh.
- Yeah, he was pretty pissed
176
00:07:49,046 --> 00:07:50,074
while he was wiping off his shoe
177
00:07:50,075 --> 00:07:52,044
with that stupid gargoyle hanky.
178
00:07:52,045 --> 00:07:54,168
- What's a gargoyle hanky?
- It's a gargoyle... a hanky.
179
00:07:54,193 --> 00:07:55,060
You know, you pull it
out of your pocket,
180
00:07:55,061 --> 00:07:56,270
blow your nose in it,
fold over a corner,
181
00:07:56,271 --> 00:07:57,371
- put it back in.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah,
182
00:07:57,372 --> 00:07:58,421
but it had a winged demon on it or...?
183
00:07:58,422 --> 00:08:00,241
No, it's got...
184
00:08:00,764 --> 00:08:01,652
what's that pattern called
185
00:08:01,653 --> 00:08:02,918
where it makes me horny and dizzy?
186
00:08:02,943 --> 00:08:04,483
- Argyle.
- Gargyle, Gargyle!
187
00:08:04,484 --> 00:08:06,268
- Gargyle.
- No, no, an argyle handkerchief
188
00:08:06,293 --> 00:08:08,182
is what you're talking about.
Oh! Like the guy
189
00:08:08,208 --> 00:08:10,197
- from the auction.
- You're talking about
190
00:08:10,198 --> 00:08:11,307
- the hat tipper?
- Yeah.
191
00:08:11,308 --> 00:08:12,496
Holy shit, do you think he was mad
192
00:08:12,497 --> 00:08:13,526
'cause he didn't win the auction?
193
00:08:13,527 --> 00:08:15,135
- Maybe.
- Fuck.
194
00:08:15,429 --> 00:08:17,516
Or maybe he never wanted to win.
195
00:08:17,517 --> 00:08:19,546
What are we having for dinner?
196
00:08:19,547 --> 00:08:21,526
Fuck.
197
00:08:22,085 --> 00:08:24,104
Maybe he was bumping up the bid
198
00:08:24,105 --> 00:08:26,174
to increase the market
value of the painting
199
00:08:26,175 --> 00:08:28,194
- before he stole it.
- Shit.
200
00:08:28,195 --> 00:08:30,094
That sounds pretty smart.
201
00:08:30,095 --> 00:08:32,184
It also explains why
he felt so confident
202
00:08:32,185 --> 00:08:34,134
doing that gay hat tip.
203
00:08:34,135 --> 00:08:36,184
Okay, so...
204
00:08:36,185 --> 00:08:38,065
how do we catch an art thief?
205
00:08:39,155 --> 00:08:41,104
We just need the right kind of bait.
206
00:08:41,105 --> 00:08:43,128
And sold
207
00:08:43,129 --> 00:08:44,682
the couple who have not
208
00:08:45,048 --> 00:08:47,107
gone down on each other in a decade...
209
00:08:47,108 --> 00:08:48,977
Beg pardon. Beg pardon.
210
00:08:48,978 --> 00:08:51,037
Beg pardon. Beg pardon.
211
00:08:51,038 --> 00:08:53,107
- Oh, what a magnificent jacket.
- Good day, ma'am.
212
00:08:53,108 --> 00:08:55,087
Wow, is that retriever?
213
00:08:55,088 --> 00:08:57,107
May I caress it again?
214
00:08:57,108 --> 00:08:58,490
Again.
215
00:08:58,491 --> 00:09:00,726
Remember, we don't bid until he does.
216
00:09:00,751 --> 00:09:01,870
- Okay?
- Yeah.
217
00:09:01,871 --> 00:09:04,910
And we'll open the bidding at 150,000.
218
00:09:04,911 --> 00:09:06,970
I have 150. Do I hear 200?
219
00:09:06,971 --> 00:09:09,890
I have 200. Can I get 225?
220
00:09:09,891 --> 00:09:11,910
Present! Ahem, present!
221
00:09:11,911 --> 00:09:13,800
I have 225
222
00:09:13,801 --> 00:09:15,780
for the penguin brothers.
223
00:09:15,781 --> 00:09:17,750
Can I get 250? 250!
224
00:09:17,751 --> 00:09:19,780
300?
225
00:09:19,781 --> 00:09:20,860
350?
226
00:09:20,861 --> 00:09:22,830
400.
227
00:09:22,831 --> 00:09:24,960
450. 500.
228
00:09:24,961 --> 00:09:26,830
500 to you, sir.
229
00:09:26,831 --> 00:09:29,850
No? Sir, you're bidding
against yourself.
230
00:09:29,851 --> 00:09:31,780
500.
231
00:09:31,781 --> 00:09:34,481
Going once, going twice, and sold
232
00:09:34,482 --> 00:09:37,927
to the gentlemen who
appear to be in disguise.
233
00:09:37,928 --> 00:09:38,691
- Oh.
- Who?
234
00:09:49,642 --> 00:09:53,560
So with tax, your total
comes to $670,000.
235
00:09:53,561 --> 00:09:54,660
Cash or credit?
236
00:09:56,811 --> 00:09:59,219
Well, the dilemma I'm
coming up against is, uh,
237
00:09:59,244 --> 00:10:00,207
I only seem to have
238
00:10:00,208 --> 00:10:01,819
a couple hundred thousand
on me in my wallet.
239
00:10:02,467 --> 00:10:04,012
- Do you take credit?
- Of course.
240
00:10:04,013 --> 00:10:06,072
- If I could just get that card.
- Indubitably.
241
00:10:08,002 --> 00:10:10,002
No!
242
00:10:11,042 --> 00:10:12,490
Our system seems
243
00:10:12,491 --> 00:10:13,649
to be down at the moment.
244
00:10:13,650 --> 00:10:15,549
Well, if that's not a kick
in the undercarriage,
245
00:10:15,550 --> 00:10:17,539
- I don't know what is.
- Do you take checks?
246
00:10:18,338 --> 00:10:20,327
Oh, we're not supposed to take checks.
247
00:10:20,328 --> 00:10:21,453
Oh, biscuits!
248
00:10:21,454 --> 00:10:23,026
We're supposed to be
on the yacht by 4:00!
249
00:10:23,027 --> 00:10:24,436
Yeah, yeah, you see,
250
00:10:24,437 --> 00:10:26,813
we're vacationing somewhere
very, very wealthy,
251
00:10:26,838 --> 00:10:28,817
very exotic over the next few days.
252
00:10:28,818 --> 00:10:30,787
Oh, sounds lovely.
253
00:10:30,788 --> 00:10:34,737
- Where?
- Uh, the Chiquita Islands.
254
00:10:34,738 --> 00:10:36,787
Mm!
255
00:10:36,788 --> 00:10:38,847
- Beautiful.
- All right.
256
00:10:38,848 --> 00:10:40,101
I'll tell you what.
257
00:10:40,102 --> 00:10:41,913
I'm going to make
an exception for you guys
258
00:10:41,914 --> 00:10:43,812
because you're clearly the real deal.
259
00:10:43,813 --> 00:10:44,667
- Clearly.
- Wonderful.
260
00:10:44,668 --> 00:10:46,271
- Thank you.
- Thank you very much, very much.
261
00:10:46,296 --> 00:10:48,609
Check, one, two.
262
00:10:48,847 --> 00:10:51,243
Check, check. That is affirmative.
Go for Pac.
263
00:10:51,269 --> 00:10:53,218
Copy that.
264
00:10:53,219 --> 00:10:56,198
Should we double-check?
I think we should double-check.
265
00:10:56,199 --> 00:11:00,148
All right. All set
for the double check.
266
00:11:00,149 --> 00:11:02,128
Check, check, check.
Check one. Check two.
267
00:11:02,129 --> 00:11:03,268
Check, check one.
268
00:11:03,269 --> 00:11:05,218
Check... Pac, can you hear...
269
00:11:05,219 --> 00:11:07,128
Take your finger off the button,
'cause if you've got
270
00:11:07,129 --> 00:11:08,278
your finger on the button,
I can't hear you.
271
00:11:08,279 --> 00:11:10,209
Here he comes.
272
00:11:23,249 --> 00:11:25,254
We got you now, dipshit!
273
00:11:26,679 --> 00:11:28,486
Oh, do you?
274
00:11:28,487 --> 00:11:30,386
Don't let him get away!
275
00:11:30,387 --> 00:11:32,386
Don't let him get away!
276
00:11:32,387 --> 00:11:34,266
Wait, wait!
277
00:11:34,651 --> 00:11:36,720
Damn it! I've been fighting
you the whole time?
278
00:11:36,745 --> 00:11:38,724
Oh, shit! How the fuck did he get away?
279
00:11:38,725 --> 00:11:41,131
- Can't breathe!
- Holy shit, we got him.
280
00:11:45,815 --> 00:11:47,794
Mm, well...
281
00:11:51,317 --> 00:11:53,216
Why don't we pull back the layers here
282
00:11:53,217 --> 00:11:54,255
and see what we're dealing with?
283
00:11:54,256 --> 00:11:55,785
Pac, it's the hat tip guy.
284
00:11:55,810 --> 00:11:57,490
What the... Clyde, what
the fuck are you doing?
285
00:11:57,515 --> 00:11:58,614
Why... why did you...
you ruined the reveal.
286
00:11:58,615 --> 00:11:59,647
We're pretty sure we know who it is.
287
00:11:59,623 --> 00:12:01,340
It doesn't matter!
It was gonna be cool, man.
288
00:12:01,341 --> 00:12:02,350
I was gonna rip the thing.
We were gonna both be like,
289
00:12:02,351 --> 00:12:03,974
"It's the hat tipper."
290
00:12:04,339 --> 00:12:06,018
- Go ahead.
- Oh, you want me to do it now?
291
00:12:06,019 --> 00:12:07,385
If it means that much to you, go ahead!
292
00:12:07,410 --> 00:12:09,002
Here we go, look.
293
00:12:09,003 --> 00:12:10,052
Oh, it's the hat tipper guy.
294
00:12:10,053 --> 00:12:11,424
Big anticlimactic moment now.
295
00:12:11,425 --> 00:12:12,444
Thank you very much, Clyde.
296
00:12:12,445 --> 00:12:14,404
We literally had one suspect.
297
00:12:14,405 --> 00:12:16,552
It doesn't matter! It was
gonna be like a big, you know!
298
00:12:16,577 --> 00:12:17,736
- It was!
- I don't wanna...
299
00:12:17,737 --> 00:12:19,271
I don't wanna do this right
now, not in front of him.
300
00:12:19,279 --> 00:12:19,911
- Fine.
- You're embarrassing me
301
00:12:19,912 --> 00:12:21,396
in front of the burglar.
302
00:12:21,397 --> 00:12:22,456
Let's just figure out who he is.
303
00:12:23,466 --> 00:12:25,565
Who the fuck are you, fuck face?
304
00:12:25,566 --> 00:12:27,525
The name is Janus.
305
00:12:27,526 --> 00:12:29,485
Hugh Janus.
306
00:12:32,556 --> 00:12:34,395
What's so funny?
307
00:12:34,396 --> 00:12:36,008
Your name is Huge Anus?
308
00:12:36,009 --> 00:12:36,948
Huge Anus?
309
00:12:36,949 --> 00:12:39,726
It's a very popular name in England.
310
00:12:39,727 --> 00:12:41,535
There's practically a Hugh
Janus on every block.
311
00:12:43,727 --> 00:12:45,242
I've been in positions worse than this
312
00:12:45,267 --> 00:12:46,786
a thousand times over
313
00:12:46,787 --> 00:12:47,927
and I've always lived to tell the tale.
314
00:12:47,952 --> 00:12:49,236
Oh, have you, Huge Anus?
315
00:12:50,685 --> 00:12:51,804
- Oh!
- Listen,
316
00:12:52,379 --> 00:12:53,321
you need to tell us
317
00:12:53,322 --> 00:12:55,072
exactly where the painting
of that duchess is
318
00:12:55,097 --> 00:12:56,977
- or else...
- Or else what?
319
00:12:58,385 --> 00:13:00,607
- Huh?
- Did you hear how he asked me,
320
00:13:00,632 --> 00:13:01,632
- "Or else what?"
- Yeah, I did.
321
00:13:01,657 --> 00:13:02,765
So how should I respond?
322
00:13:02,790 --> 00:13:03,879
What were you gonna say
before he cut you off?
323
00:13:04,103 --> 00:13:05,573
I actually had no plan. I don't know.
324
00:13:05,574 --> 00:13:06,603
You didn't go with another plan?
325
00:13:06,605 --> 00:13:07,270
It was a threat.
326
00:13:07,271 --> 00:13:09,158
Yeah, but you can't
make an empty threat
327
00:13:09,159 --> 00:13:10,278
- to a burglar.
- It's something people say.
328
00:13:10,279 --> 00:13:12,158
I didn't expect that I
was actually gonna...
329
00:13:12,159 --> 00:13:13,218
I understand, but this
is a dangerous man...
330
00:13:13,219 --> 00:13:15,278
- Oh!
- Oh, shit, Clyde! Oh!
331
00:13:15,279 --> 00:13:17,168
Fucking nice try, buddy.
332
00:13:17,169 --> 00:13:18,298
You're gonna kick someone in the nuts,
333
00:13:18,299 --> 00:13:20,158
you better make sure it...
f... oh, there it is.
334
00:13:20,159 --> 00:13:22,258
Oh, it was on a delay!
335
00:13:24,109 --> 00:13:25,189
Oh, God.
336
00:13:28,742 --> 00:13:30,681
Ah, bollocks!
337
00:13:30,682 --> 00:13:32,290
Ah!
338
00:13:32,291 --> 00:13:33,595
Oh, it's okay. I can fix this.
339
00:13:33,596 --> 00:13:34,765
All I need is some... some glue
340
00:13:34,766 --> 00:13:36,596
and a new painting.
341
00:13:38,736 --> 00:13:40,645
Canvas King?
342
00:13:40,646 --> 00:13:41,725
I can't believe it.
343
00:13:42,204 --> 00:13:44,233
Yeah, the deals at Framing Captain
344
00:13:44,234 --> 00:13:46,773
- are way better.
- No, you moron!
345
00:13:46,774 --> 00:13:48,703
- It's a fake!
- No, it's not.
346
00:13:48,705 --> 00:13:50,684
- I can see it right here.
- It's a beautiful piece.
347
00:13:50,685 --> 00:13:51,835
- I think it...
- Yeah, it's nice.
348
00:13:53,865 --> 00:13:55,755
Another fake.
349
00:13:57,915 --> 00:13:59,874
Fake,
350
00:13:59,875 --> 00:14:01,824
fake,
351
00:14:01,825 --> 00:14:04,734
fake. They're all fakes!
352
00:14:05,815 --> 00:14:07,714
I'm gonna hyperventilate.
353
00:14:07,715 --> 00:14:08,904
- I'm hyperventilating.
- No, no, no, wait.
354
00:14:08,905 --> 00:14:10,784
Here, here, here, breathe through this.
355
00:14:10,785 --> 00:14:11,874
Oh, yeah, yeah.
356
00:14:11,875 --> 00:14:13,894
Take it slow and deep.
357
00:14:13,895 --> 00:14:15,784
Huh.
358
00:14:15,785 --> 00:14:17,684
Oh, sorry.
359
00:14:17,685 --> 00:14:18,784
That must've been a huffer's bag.
360
00:14:18,785 --> 00:14:20,420
Holy shit. That means we have no idea
361
00:14:20,421 --> 00:14:21,979
where the real painting is.
362
00:14:22,014 --> 00:14:24,033
Oh, my God. My blood sugar
is dangerously low.
363
00:14:24,058 --> 00:14:26,077
- They're gonna kill me.
- The huffers?
364
00:14:26,078 --> 00:14:27,518
No, no, no, they left the bag.
365
00:14:27,519 --> 00:14:29,217
- That's on them.
- The sheik.
366
00:14:29,242 --> 00:14:31,191
Are... are you saying sheet?
367
00:14:31,192 --> 00:14:33,151
- Sheik!
- Sheet?
368
00:14:33,152 --> 00:14:34,474
The Saudi sheik!
369
00:14:34,475 --> 00:14:36,821
I've already sold him
all these paintings.
370
00:14:38,035 --> 00:14:40,494
He's sending his henchman
tomorrow to pick them up.
371
00:14:41,188 --> 00:14:42,337
I'm gonna get killed
372
00:14:42,338 --> 00:14:44,358
because the auction house
is selling fake art.
373
00:14:44,359 --> 00:14:46,518
No. No, the art at
Smotherbee's is real.
374
00:14:46,543 --> 00:14:48,452
The ghost wouldn't haunt
a fake painting.
375
00:14:48,453 --> 00:14:50,532
Which one of us just huffed paint?
376
00:14:50,533 --> 00:14:52,219
Oh, no, no, no. He can talk to ghosts.
377
00:14:52,220 --> 00:14:54,129
- Did we not cover that? Yeah.
- We have a whole business
378
00:14:54,130 --> 00:14:55,249
and a website and everything.
You should check it out.
379
00:14:55,250 --> 00:14:57,568
- We got some deals.
- Daily specials.
380
00:14:57,569 --> 00:14:59,717
There must be a swap happening
381
00:14:59,718 --> 00:15:01,597
at the auction house.
382
00:15:02,329 --> 00:15:03,258
Listen up,
383
00:15:03,259 --> 00:15:05,096
- we'll need to...
- Whoa, whoa, whoa.
384
00:15:05,098 --> 00:15:06,187
- What do you mean "we'll"?
- Yeah.
385
00:15:06,188 --> 00:15:07,648
You just Beckhamed
my balls in there, man.
386
00:15:07,649 --> 00:15:08,728
Yeah, why would we work with you?
387
00:15:08,729 --> 00:15:10,583
Look, trust me,
388
00:15:10,584 --> 00:15:12,171
I don't wanna work
with you inbreds either.
389
00:15:12,196 --> 00:15:14,125
- Pfft.
- Unfortunately,
390
00:15:14,126 --> 00:15:16,821
this is a job that requires
more than one set of eyes.
391
00:15:16,822 --> 00:15:18,791
Ugh, fuck it, man. I don't know.
392
00:15:18,792 --> 00:15:20,741
I don't know. I don't know.
393
00:15:20,742 --> 00:15:21,941
I make bad decisions
on an empty stomach.
394
00:15:21,942 --> 00:15:24,791
- Is that a granola bar?
- Yeah.
395
00:15:24,792 --> 00:15:26,822
Can I have this? Ha!
396
00:15:28,932 --> 00:15:33,872
Save some hunger to munch
the royal box, my savior.
397
00:15:34,932 --> 00:15:36,782
Yeah, I'm all in.
398
00:15:38,616 --> 00:15:40,614
Let me walk you through
this nice and slow.
399
00:15:40,615 --> 00:15:43,523
I'll be surveying the auction
from the back row,
400
00:15:43,805 --> 00:15:46,136
waiting for something
valuable to go up for bid.
401
00:15:46,161 --> 00:15:48,180
Now lot number 195.
402
00:15:48,181 --> 00:15:50,190
And we'll start the bidding at 400,000.
403
00:15:50,191 --> 00:15:52,170
$400. I have 400.
404
00:15:52,171 --> 00:15:53,659
- 425?
- You two will be stationed
405
00:15:53,660 --> 00:15:56,091
outside, posing as illiterate plumbers.
406
00:15:56,092 --> 00:16:00,031
If the art goes out the
back, you guys tail it.
407
00:16:00,032 --> 00:16:01,151
And sold
408
00:16:02,056 --> 00:16:04,005
to the woman with the real fur
409
00:16:04,006 --> 00:16:05,125
and the fake cheekbones.
410
00:16:05,126 --> 00:16:07,055
Normally, I follow the buyer,
411
00:16:07,056 --> 00:16:09,035
but this time, I'll follow the art.
412
00:16:11,046 --> 00:16:13,104
If we can keep an eye
on the original artwork,
413
00:16:13,105 --> 00:16:14,388
it should lead us directly
414
00:16:14,389 --> 00:16:16,318
to where the other originals
are being stored.
415
00:16:43,634 --> 00:16:46,156
Check, check, check.
416
00:16:46,181 --> 00:16:47,654
I wanna do a double
check on the walkies.
417
00:16:47,655 --> 00:16:49,664
- Go.
- Stop doing walkie checks.
418
00:16:49,665 --> 00:16:51,158
The walkies work fucking fine.
419
00:16:51,183 --> 00:16:55,122
Uh, that's because
we do walkie checks, Hugh.
420
00:16:55,123 --> 00:16:57,148
Ooh, walkie burn.
421
00:16:57,149 --> 00:16:59,369
Gents, there are now
two pieces of artwork
422
00:16:59,394 --> 00:17:00,589
coming your way.
423
00:17:00,590 --> 00:17:01,679
Well, which one's real?
424
00:17:01,680 --> 00:17:03,659
I don't know.
425
00:17:04,125 --> 00:17:05,244
Wow, you really shit the bed
426
00:17:05,245 --> 00:17:07,224
on that one, huh, Huge Anus?
427
00:17:08,387 --> 00:17:10,426
Just shut the fuck up
and follow them both.
428
00:17:10,427 --> 00:17:11,417
It doesn't get old.
429
00:17:12,537 --> 00:17:14,486
Oh. Shit!
430
00:17:14,487 --> 00:17:16,416
They're getting in two separate vans.
431
00:17:16,417 --> 00:17:18,396
You thinking what I'm thinking?
432
00:17:34,535 --> 00:17:35,307
Oh, shit!
433
00:17:35,308 --> 00:17:37,646
No, that's not what I
was thinking at all.
434
00:17:37,726 --> 00:17:38,956
All right. Fuck it, let's go.
435
00:17:38,957 --> 00:17:39,559
Ha!
436
00:17:56,991 --> 00:17:58,890
Are you chaps following those vans?
437
00:17:58,891 --> 00:18:01,264
Oh, shit. I think mine's going to JFK.
438
00:18:01,289 --> 00:18:02,940
You're headed for the airport?
439
00:18:02,941 --> 00:18:04,020
That must be the one.
440
00:18:04,021 --> 00:18:06,020
Overseas black market, I imagine.
441
00:18:06,021 --> 00:18:07,284
Be careful.
442
00:18:07,309 --> 00:18:09,358
Your life depends on your stealth.
443
00:18:09,688 --> 00:18:10,767
You're dealing with people
444
00:18:10,792 --> 00:18:12,482
who might just rip off your penis
445
00:18:12,483 --> 00:18:14,492
- to prove a point.
- Nope, scratch that.
446
00:18:14,668 --> 00:18:16,536
Pulling into an Olive Patches.
447
00:18:16,766 --> 00:18:17,667
What is that?
448
00:18:17,668 --> 00:18:18,987
It's a delicious Italian experience
449
00:18:19,012 --> 00:18:20,012
for the whole family.
450
00:18:20,037 --> 00:18:21,085
Oh, good news.
451
00:18:21,086 --> 00:18:22,145
Your dick is probably fine.
452
00:18:22,146 --> 00:18:24,165
Clyde, your dick
453
00:18:24,166 --> 00:18:26,095
is now the one that needs
to be worried about.
454
00:18:26,096 --> 00:18:29,025
Whatever you do, don't let
them out of your sight.
455
00:18:29,026 --> 00:18:31,606
My dick is magnificent. I got this.
456
00:18:31,607 --> 00:18:34,666
- You never showed up for drop.
- Clyde?
457
00:18:34,667 --> 00:18:36,092
Clyde, come in.
Are you there?
458
00:18:36,117 --> 00:18:37,685
- Yeah, Pac, what is it?
- Hey!
459
00:18:37,687 --> 00:18:39,736
Hey, do I like pesto?
460
00:18:39,926 --> 00:18:42,611
No. You're more of
a red sauce kind of guy.
461
00:18:43,064 --> 00:18:44,686
I thought so. Thank you.
462
00:18:45,174 --> 00:18:46,656
Oh, shit! I think I've been spotted!
463
00:18:46,657 --> 00:18:47,776
- He's starting to speed up.
- Shit.
464
00:18:47,777 --> 00:18:50,260
What should I do?
Hugh, are you there?
465
00:18:50,943 --> 00:18:52,431
Give me a second, Clyde.
466
00:18:52,524 --> 00:18:54,513
- Fucking Hugh.
- Fuck, dude!
467
00:18:54,538 --> 00:18:55,865
He definitely spotted me.
468
00:18:55,866 --> 00:18:57,795
He's starting to drive
really close to the guardrail.
469
00:18:57,796 --> 00:18:58,875
Fuck.
470
00:18:58,876 --> 00:19:00,765
- Pac, are you hearing me?
- Hey, man.
471
00:19:00,766 --> 00:19:02,785
Would you like to hear our specials?
472
00:19:02,786 --> 00:19:03,895
I...
473
00:19:03,896 --> 00:19:06,835
I would fucking love
to hear the specials.
474
00:19:06,836 --> 00:19:08,855
Perfect. We have a delicious
475
00:19:08,856 --> 00:19:10,559
ham ravioli in cheese sauce.
476
00:19:10,560 --> 00:19:13,303
Our soup of the day
is bacon fat and onion.
477
00:19:13,328 --> 00:19:14,608
- That sounds good.
- Oh, good.
478
00:19:14,609 --> 00:19:16,548
And then we have this
incredible deep-fried noodle
479
00:19:16,549 --> 00:19:17,638
dipped in sugar for dessert.
480
00:19:17,639 --> 00:19:19,313
Oh, what? Oh.
481
00:19:19,496 --> 00:19:20,773
Fuck this. I have no choice.
482
00:19:20,774 --> 00:19:21,844
I'm gonna go under the van.
483
00:19:23,784 --> 00:19:26,853
Okay, I think I've found the fuel line.
484
00:19:26,854 --> 00:19:29,241
I'm starting to think I should
put the walkie down.
485
00:19:29,266 --> 00:19:32,105
Whoa! Holy shit, he's really
trying to shake me!
486
00:19:32,106 --> 00:19:34,125
All right, I got my knife out.
487
00:19:34,126 --> 00:19:36,821
All right, I'm slicing
through the fuel line.
488
00:19:36,822 --> 00:19:38,811
Oh, shit! That looks like
a pretty sharp turn ahead!
489
00:19:45,873 --> 00:19:47,862
I'm, uh...
490
00:19:48,805 --> 00:19:49,792
I'm sure he's fine.
491
00:19:49,793 --> 00:19:51,738
He's probably just out
of walkie-talkie range.
492
00:19:51,739 --> 00:19:52,412
So what did you say
493
00:19:52,413 --> 00:19:54,261
the cheese-to-noodle ratio
was on the lasagna?
494
00:19:54,262 --> 00:19:56,302
Or did you not say?
495
00:20:08,252 --> 00:20:09,302
Holy shit!
496
00:20:11,194 --> 00:20:13,471
Hey, Pac. My van has the fake painting.
497
00:20:13,496 --> 00:20:15,485
Are you there?
498
00:20:15,867 --> 00:20:17,272
All right, let me know
499
00:20:17,297 --> 00:20:19,137
when you turn your walkie back on.
500
00:20:22,626 --> 00:20:24,535
The fuck?
501
00:20:24,536 --> 00:20:26,495
Beautiful, aren't they?
502
00:20:27,810 --> 00:20:28,818
You.
503
00:20:30,216 --> 00:20:32,305
- Why?
- People who attend auctions
504
00:20:32,306 --> 00:20:36,145
are... assholes
505
00:20:36,146 --> 00:20:38,315
hoarding beauty.
506
00:20:38,316 --> 00:20:42,295
I can't think of anything
more gluttonous.
507
00:20:43,058 --> 00:20:45,796
This is where true art belongs.
508
00:20:45,797 --> 00:20:47,856
Hanging above the velveteen baguettes?
509
00:20:47,857 --> 00:20:49,856
- With the masses.
- Oh.
510
00:20:49,857 --> 00:20:51,976
Art is not a privilege.
511
00:20:52,539 --> 00:20:54,227
It is a God-given right.
512
00:20:54,228 --> 00:20:56,926
Just like endless soup
and bottomless breadsticks.
513
00:20:56,927 --> 00:20:59,855
- Well, sort of.
- No, I think that's bang-on.
514
00:20:59,857 --> 00:21:03,906
Oh, what a wondrous place this is,
515
00:21:03,907 --> 00:21:07,036
filled with so many wealthy
516
00:21:07,037 --> 00:21:09,076
and attractive people.
517
00:21:09,077 --> 00:21:11,966
I can think of no better venue
518
00:21:11,967 --> 00:21:14,685
for my likeness to
hang for all eternity.
519
00:21:14,686 --> 00:21:15,773
Okay, dude,
520
00:21:15,774 --> 00:21:17,743
your little secret
will stay safe with me,
521
00:21:17,744 --> 00:21:19,693
but you need to do me
one favor in return.
522
00:21:19,694 --> 00:21:20,793
Nothing sex-related.
523
00:21:20,794 --> 00:21:22,743
I... I just... What... what? No!
524
00:21:22,744 --> 00:21:24,723
I don't... no, I just...
525
00:21:24,724 --> 00:21:26,703
I need to make one
teeny, tiny alteration
526
00:21:26,704 --> 00:21:27,854
to that painting right there.
527
00:21:29,794 --> 00:21:32,784
- Sold.
- To that man there. Okay.
528
00:21:40,305 --> 00:21:41,505
Excuse me.
529
00:21:49,744 --> 00:21:51,713
Yeah.
530
00:21:51,714 --> 00:21:52,863
That's the jam.
531
00:21:52,864 --> 00:21:54,734
Oh!
532
00:21:56,664 --> 00:21:58,633
I'm gorgeous.
533
00:21:58,634 --> 00:22:00,803
You sure are.
534
00:22:01,102 --> 00:22:04,031
One last treat for you.
535
00:22:04,056 --> 00:22:05,105
Huh?
536
00:22:05,106 --> 00:22:08,025
No. Ah...
537
00:22:08,026 --> 00:22:11,026
That... not necessary. Thank you.
538
00:22:14,156 --> 00:22:16,036
Farewell.
539
00:22:21,610 --> 00:22:23,529
One more celebratory plate
of lasagna, methinks.
540
00:22:26,085 --> 00:22:28,207
Yoo-hoo, Huge Anus.
Check, check, check.
541
00:22:28,232 --> 00:22:29,795
- This is Pac.
- And Clyde.
542
00:22:29,796 --> 00:22:31,756
And Clyde, obviously.
543
00:22:33,846 --> 00:22:35,765
Hugh, you there? You okay, bud?
544
00:22:35,766 --> 00:22:36,975
Ask him if he smokes weed.
545
00:22:36,976 --> 00:22:39,746
Hugh, do you smoke weed?
546
00:22:41,846 --> 00:22:43,876
Hugh, do you smoke-a the weed?
547
00:22:45,926 --> 00:22:48,875
- You think he's okay?
- Yeah, totally.
548
00:22:48,876 --> 00:22:50,746
Maybe he's dead.
549
00:22:51,826 --> 00:22:53,845
Hugh, are you dead?
550
00:22:55,886 --> 00:22:57,865
Are you laying in a pool
of your own blood right now?
551
00:23:02,826 --> 00:23:03,955
Hugh!
552
00:23:03,956 --> 00:23:06,785
Huuugh!
553
00:23:06,786 --> 00:23:07,851
Hope he's okay.
554
00:23:07,852 --> 00:23:09,363
Oh, yeah, I'm sure he's fine.
555
00:23:09,364 --> 00:23:10,463
Probably just got his
finger on the button.
556
00:23:10,972 --> 00:23:12,441
Rookie.
38666
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