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1
00:00:02,953 --> 00:00:05,913
[both chuckling]
2
00:00:06,000 --> 00:00:08,872
[rock music]
3
00:00:08,959 --> 00:00:15,879
♪ ♪
4
00:00:17,664 --> 00:00:20,101
[both chuckling]
5
00:00:20,188 --> 00:00:22,538
Uh, hey, baby.
6
00:00:22,625 --> 00:00:24,714
Want to come with us
to Burger World?
7
00:00:24,801 --> 00:00:26,107
Maybe buy us some burgers
8
00:00:26,194 --> 00:00:28,631
and maybe a little something
on the side?
9
00:00:28,718 --> 00:00:31,765
Get lost, creeps.
10
00:00:31,852 --> 00:00:34,550
She didn't slap us
like usual, Butt-Head.
11
00:00:34,637 --> 00:00:38,467
I think she's starting
to come around.
12
00:00:38,554 --> 00:00:41,949
Whoa, some dumbass
is getting his car towed.
13
00:00:42,036 --> 00:00:44,343
[both laugh]
14
00:00:44,430 --> 00:00:46,301
Dumbass.
15
00:00:46,388 --> 00:00:48,129
Um...
16
00:00:48,216 --> 00:00:50,392
wait a second, that's our car.
17
00:00:50,479 --> 00:00:53,352
Uh, what's the problem, officer?
18
00:00:53,439 --> 00:00:55,180
Your car's impounded.
19
00:00:55,267 --> 00:00:58,835
You have over $500
in unpaid parking tickets.
20
00:00:58,922 --> 00:01:03,492
In our defense, officer,
parking sucks.
21
00:01:03,579 --> 00:01:05,842
People like you
shouldn't be on the road
22
00:01:05,929 --> 00:01:07,366
if you can't follow the rules.
23
00:01:07,453 --> 00:01:10,195
Your licenses are suspended
until you pay the fines.
24
00:01:12,153 --> 00:01:13,937
Uh...
25
00:01:15,809 --> 00:01:17,767
Okay, Beavis, we need
to find where they give you
26
00:01:17,854 --> 00:01:19,595
your license back.
27
00:01:20,901 --> 00:01:23,643
Uh, that line sucks.
28
00:01:25,166 --> 00:01:26,907
Yeah,
that's gonna take forever.
29
00:01:28,430 --> 00:01:29,823
There's no line at that one.
30
00:01:29,910 --> 00:01:32,304
Yeah, let's go there.
31
00:01:33,957 --> 00:01:37,613
Uh, we need a license.
32
00:01:37,700 --> 00:01:39,485
Well, congratulations.
33
00:01:39,572 --> 00:01:40,921
And how's your day
going so far?
34
00:01:41,008 --> 00:01:43,663
Uh, today sucks.
35
00:01:43,750 --> 00:01:46,187
Yeah, we just wanted
to go to Burger World,
36
00:01:46,274 --> 00:01:48,494
but then our neighbor yelled
at us and called us creeps.
37
00:01:48,581 --> 00:01:50,191
And then this cop was like,
38
00:01:50,278 --> 00:01:53,107
"You and your kind need
to get off the streets."
39
00:01:53,194 --> 00:01:55,718
Oh, you poor,
sweet, beautiful men.
40
00:01:55,805 --> 00:01:58,025
How can people be so cruel?
41
00:01:58,112 --> 00:01:59,853
I know.
42
00:01:59,940 --> 00:02:03,117
We're just, like, two guys
trying to live our lives.
43
00:02:03,204 --> 00:02:05,206
Yeah, but sometimes,
it just feels like
44
00:02:05,293 --> 00:02:06,729
the whole world is against us.
45
00:02:06,816 --> 00:02:08,296
You know what I'm saying?
46
00:02:08,383 --> 00:02:10,690
Well, I just know
there's gonna be a lot
47
00:02:10,777 --> 00:02:13,258
of broken hearts
when a couple of hot bachelors
48
00:02:13,345 --> 00:02:14,824
like you go off the market.
49
00:02:14,911 --> 00:02:16,652
Uh...
50
00:02:16,739 --> 00:02:19,786
did you just call us
hot bachelors?
51
00:02:19,873 --> 00:02:23,268
Yes, sir, I did, and you are,
but not for long.
52
00:02:23,355 --> 00:02:25,444
How does getting married sound?
53
00:02:25,531 --> 00:02:30,057
Whoa, uh,
you want to marry us?
54
00:02:30,144 --> 00:02:32,146
Yes, I do, if you're ready.
55
00:02:32,233 --> 00:02:34,888
Uh, excuse me, ma'am.
56
00:02:34,975 --> 00:02:37,717
I need to talk
to Beavis for a second.
57
00:02:37,804 --> 00:02:40,110
Um, what's going on?
58
00:02:40,197 --> 00:02:42,983
Don't you see what's
happening here, Beavis?
59
00:02:43,070 --> 00:02:45,333
She wants a three-way with us.
60
00:02:45,420 --> 00:02:47,596
- Whoa, really?
- Yeah.
61
00:02:47,683 --> 00:02:49,903
But she's, like, old-fashioned,
62
00:02:49,990 --> 00:02:53,646
so we have to get married
to her first.
63
00:02:53,733 --> 00:02:55,996
Is that legal for her
to have, like, two husbands?
64
00:02:56,083 --> 00:02:57,954
Who cares, Beavis?
65
00:02:58,041 --> 00:03:00,740
By the time they arrest us,
we'll have already scored.
66
00:03:00,827 --> 00:03:02,611
Oh, yeah, yeah.
67
00:03:02,698 --> 00:03:04,961
Yeah, I'd go to jail
for that, yeah.
68
00:03:05,048 --> 00:03:08,400
[chuckles]
Bo-oi-oi-oing.
69
00:03:09,966 --> 00:03:12,752
We're ready to get married.
70
00:03:12,839 --> 00:03:15,363
This is
the happiest day of my life.
71
00:03:17,017 --> 00:03:20,934
Hello,
and welcome to my apartment.
72
00:03:21,021 --> 00:03:23,284
"Hello, well,
thank you for letting me in!
73
00:03:23,371 --> 00:03:24,851
Ah, ah, ah!"
74
00:03:24,938 --> 00:03:26,592
[chuckling]
75
00:03:26,679 --> 00:03:28,637
"Oh, you want me
to take my shoes off?
76
00:03:28,724 --> 00:03:30,160
Ooh!"
77
00:03:30,247 --> 00:03:32,946
"Where do you keep the beer?
Hm, hah!"
78
00:03:33,033 --> 00:03:35,514
"This is so fun, oh."
79
00:03:35,601 --> 00:03:39,169
"Oh, sorry I'm late.
I was held up in traffic, ah!"
80
00:03:39,256 --> 00:03:40,475
Two roommates
in Lower Manhattan,
81
00:03:40,562 --> 00:03:43,043
here in beautiful
New York City.
82
00:03:43,130 --> 00:03:44,827
And I've lived here
for now a year and a half.
83
00:03:44,914 --> 00:03:46,307
You know what?
[chuckles]
84
00:03:46,394 --> 00:03:48,091
I think our apartment's
cooler than this.
85
00:03:48,178 --> 00:03:51,268
Yeah, I bet their previous
owner didn't kill himself in it
86
00:03:51,356 --> 00:03:53,270
like ours did.
87
00:03:53,358 --> 00:03:55,403
Sliver of window, so it's
kind of like a cave in here.
88
00:03:55,490 --> 00:03:57,187
We have a storage closet.
89
00:03:57,274 --> 00:03:59,538
She says everything
like it's a question.
90
00:03:59,625 --> 00:04:02,236
"This is my apartment?
And it sucks?
91
00:04:02,323 --> 00:04:04,847
And this tour sucks too?"
92
00:04:04,934 --> 00:04:07,981
The process
of doing a baby makeover.
93
00:04:08,068 --> 00:04:11,245
"It does suck, but I'm gonna
keep talking about it anyway?"
94
00:04:11,332 --> 00:04:14,161
[chuckles]
95
00:04:14,248 --> 00:04:17,512
We should, like,
do a tour of our apartment.
96
00:04:17,599 --> 00:04:20,254
Oh, yeah, yeah,
that's a good idea.
97
00:04:20,341 --> 00:04:21,864
"Now, this is a couch,
98
00:04:21,951 --> 00:04:25,520
and over there
are some pizza boxes?"
99
00:04:25,607 --> 00:04:29,306
"And over on the door,
these are eviction notices?"
100
00:04:29,394 --> 00:04:32,179
"We got them
from our landlord?
101
00:04:32,266 --> 00:04:35,269
He sucks?"
102
00:04:35,356 --> 00:04:37,097
"Here's a conversation piece,
103
00:04:37,184 --> 00:04:39,229
a half-eaten bag
of potato chips?"
104
00:04:39,316 --> 00:04:41,318
"On the floor
are some beer bottles?"
105
00:04:41,406 --> 00:04:43,408
"You can tell
we really love beer?"
106
00:04:43,495 --> 00:04:46,976
"And over here is a rat
in a glue trap?"
107
00:04:47,063 --> 00:04:49,805
"And right behind that
is a turd?"
108
00:04:49,892 --> 00:04:52,721
"The turd is from the rat
109
00:04:52,808 --> 00:04:56,203
"before he died slowly?
110
00:04:57,291 --> 00:05:00,773
"And over there, that's Beavis?
He's a dumbass?
111
00:05:00,860 --> 00:05:03,471
I found him
when I was banging his mom?"
112
00:05:03,558 --> 00:05:05,342
Shut up, Butt-Head!
113
00:05:05,430 --> 00:05:06,692
"And if you look
above my head,
114
00:05:06,779 --> 00:05:08,781
"there's a picture
of some guy fishing?
115
00:05:08,868 --> 00:05:11,087
That's Beavis' uncle?"
116
00:05:11,174 --> 00:05:12,306
No, it isn't.
117
00:05:12,393 --> 00:05:13,742
It looks kind of like him,
118
00:05:13,829 --> 00:05:16,136
but I stole it
from a Long John Silver's.
119
00:05:16,223 --> 00:05:19,879
Uh, why?
120
00:05:19,966 --> 00:05:21,402
Because the French fries
were too hot,
121
00:05:21,489 --> 00:05:23,404
and it pissed me off.
122
00:05:23,491 --> 00:05:24,753
And they still wouldn't
give me my money back
123
00:05:24,840 --> 00:05:26,233
because I ate 'em all,
124
00:05:26,320 --> 00:05:29,715
so I just, like,
took that picture instead.
125
00:05:29,802 --> 00:05:32,239
Uh, I hate it.
126
00:05:32,326 --> 00:05:34,763
Yeah, I hate it too, yeah.
127
00:05:34,850 --> 00:05:37,157
"Anyway, back to the tour?
128
00:05:37,244 --> 00:05:40,334
Sometimes, you can hear voices
through this wall?"
129
00:05:40,421 --> 00:05:44,077
"Sometimes, the voices
tell me to cleanse the city?"
130
00:05:44,164 --> 00:05:46,906
Those voices aren't
through the wall, Beavis.
131
00:05:46,993 --> 00:05:50,562
Those are, like,
inside your head already.
132
00:05:50,649 --> 00:05:53,652
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, sorry.
133
00:05:53,739 --> 00:05:56,785
"That's not part
of the apartment tour?"
134
00:05:56,872 --> 00:05:58,526
All right, I hope you enjoyed
135
00:05:58,613 --> 00:06:00,746
my little apartment tour
here in New York.
136
00:06:00,833 --> 00:06:05,751
She's like, "Well, goodbye.
Thanks for coming over, ooh!"
137
00:06:05,838 --> 00:06:08,536
"Yeah, yeah, now get
out of my apartment please!"
138
00:06:08,623 --> 00:06:10,756
[chortles]
139
00:06:10,843 --> 00:06:15,021
By the power vested in me
by the great state of Texas,
140
00:06:15,108 --> 00:06:18,024
I now pronounce you
husband and husband.
141
00:06:18,111 --> 00:06:20,374
Bo-oi-oi-oing.
142
00:06:20,461 --> 00:06:23,290
Ooh, that's the spirit.
[laughs]
143
00:06:23,377 --> 00:06:25,074
Well, I guess
we're all married now.
144
00:06:25,161 --> 00:06:28,556
Wanna, like, come back
to our apartment to celebrate?
145
00:06:28,643 --> 00:06:29,775
[chuckles]
146
00:06:29,862 --> 00:06:31,516
Oh,
that's awfully sweet, boys,
147
00:06:31,603 --> 00:06:32,952
but I still have to work.
148
00:06:33,039 --> 00:06:36,608
Okay.
We'll just see you later then.
149
00:06:36,695 --> 00:06:38,784
Okay, sounds good, see ya.
150
00:06:38,871 --> 00:06:41,917
- We're gonna score.
- Yeah, yeah.
151
00:06:42,004 --> 00:06:43,876
[both chuckling]
152
00:06:43,963 --> 00:06:46,618
You know,
I always thought being married
153
00:06:46,705 --> 00:06:48,707
was gonna be weird,
but it's not bad.
154
00:06:48,794 --> 00:06:50,491
[chuckles]
155
00:06:50,578 --> 00:06:52,537
You know, Beavis, we should
have gotten married years ago.
156
00:06:52,624 --> 00:06:55,365
Wait, you guys are married?
157
00:06:55,452 --> 00:06:58,847
Yep, it just happened,
like, all of a sudden.
158
00:06:58,934 --> 00:07:00,501
Yeah, we were
down at the courthouse,
159
00:07:00,588 --> 00:07:02,982
you know,
and one thing led to another.
160
00:07:03,069 --> 00:07:04,549
Oh.
161
00:07:04,636 --> 00:07:07,116
I think I misjudged you guys.
162
00:07:07,203 --> 00:07:08,683
Creeps!
163
00:07:08,770 --> 00:07:10,032
Pervert!
- Ah!
164
00:07:10,119 --> 00:07:13,079
- Losers!
- Ah!
165
00:07:13,166 --> 00:07:15,255
I am so sorry.
166
00:07:15,342 --> 00:07:17,605
Congratulations!
167
00:07:17,692 --> 00:07:20,608
Is there some way
I can make it up to you?
168
00:07:20,695 --> 00:07:23,611
You guys have a seat.
This one's on me.
169
00:07:23,698 --> 00:07:25,918
We're gonna be doing it
later today.
170
00:07:26,005 --> 00:07:28,268
- Yeah, yeah, that's right.
- Good for you.
171
00:07:28,355 --> 00:07:30,009
Doing the deed.
172
00:07:30,096 --> 00:07:32,141
Yeah.
173
00:07:32,228 --> 00:07:35,014
This is cool.
She's being really nice to us.
174
00:07:35,101 --> 00:07:37,843
Yeah, it's like they say,
175
00:07:37,930 --> 00:07:40,889
being married
is a chick magnet.
176
00:07:40,976 --> 00:07:43,675
In fact, she might want
to even get in our three-way.
177
00:07:43,762 --> 00:07:45,241
Yeah, yeah.
178
00:07:45,328 --> 00:07:47,069
Yeah,
maybe she'll marry us too.
179
00:07:47,156 --> 00:07:50,333
And then we can have,
like, a, uh, five-way!
180
00:07:50,420 --> 00:07:51,813
Yeah.
[both chuckle]
181
00:07:51,900 --> 00:07:54,468
- That would be cool.
- Yeah, yeah.
182
00:07:54,555 --> 00:07:56,557
I get dibs
on the neighbor chick first.
183
00:07:56,644 --> 00:07:58,428
No way, butthole.
184
00:07:58,515 --> 00:08:01,170
I get to choose.
It was my idea.
185
00:08:01,257 --> 00:08:02,868
See, you're always like this!
186
00:08:02,955 --> 00:08:04,565
You always have
to get your way!
187
00:08:04,652 --> 00:08:05,914
Dammit, Beavis,
don't embarrass me
188
00:08:06,001 --> 00:08:07,655
at the Burger World.
189
00:08:07,742 --> 00:08:10,745
I didn't get married so you
could just order me around!
190
00:08:10,832 --> 00:08:13,618
I got married so the two
of us could have a three-way
191
00:08:13,705 --> 00:08:15,315
with the lady from the county!
192
00:08:15,402 --> 00:08:17,970
And so did I.
193
00:08:18,057 --> 00:08:20,102
But that seems like
a long time ago now.
194
00:08:20,189 --> 00:08:23,366
I've had enough of your crap,
butthole!
195
00:08:23,453 --> 00:08:25,064
We never should have gotten
married in the first place,
196
00:08:25,151 --> 00:08:27,196
dumbass.
197
00:08:27,283 --> 00:08:29,024
What happened to Beavis?
198
00:08:29,111 --> 00:08:33,638
Forget about him, baby.
Let's talk about me and you.
199
00:08:33,725 --> 00:08:35,248
We can go back to your place
200
00:08:35,335 --> 00:08:37,293
and make beautiful l--
201
00:08:38,381 --> 00:08:40,470
You creep!
202
00:08:43,430 --> 00:08:46,781
She left her food.
[chuckles]
203
00:08:49,175 --> 00:08:50,480
Where's that chick
who married us?
204
00:08:50,567 --> 00:08:52,178
Yeah, she never showed up
at our place,
205
00:08:52,265 --> 00:08:54,049
and we need to get
back on the market,
206
00:08:54,136 --> 00:08:55,616
so we need one
of those divorce things.
207
00:08:55,703 --> 00:08:57,836
Oh, you mean Janice?
208
00:08:57,923 --> 00:09:00,795
She's having lunch
with her husband.
209
00:09:00,882 --> 00:09:01,970
Husband?
210
00:09:02,057 --> 00:09:04,103
How many guys
is she married to?
211
00:09:04,190 --> 00:09:08,411
Uh, I guess we were gonna
have a seven-way or something.
212
00:09:08,498 --> 00:09:11,284
Anyway,
we don't do divorces here.
213
00:09:11,371 --> 00:09:14,896
You're gonna need a lawyer,
and there's a $500 filing fee.
214
00:09:14,983 --> 00:09:16,463
500 bucks?
215
00:09:16,550 --> 00:09:19,118
I'd rather spend that money
getting the car back.
216
00:09:19,205 --> 00:09:22,034
Uh, that's a good idea.
217
00:09:22,121 --> 00:09:24,776
And we can just, like,
pretend we never got married.
218
00:09:24,863 --> 00:09:26,734
Yeah, cool.
[chuckles]
219
00:09:31,391 --> 00:09:33,175
What happened to the seat?
220
00:09:33,262 --> 00:09:36,135
It's an impound lot.
Stuff happens.
221
00:09:36,222 --> 00:09:39,007
If you don't want the car--
- No, no, it's fine.
222
00:09:42,881 --> 00:09:45,057
Ugh, this is hurting my butt.
223
00:09:45,144 --> 00:09:47,102
I'm gonna have to sit up there
next to you.
224
00:09:49,583 --> 00:09:51,411
Come on, scoot over, Butt-Head.
225
00:09:51,498 --> 00:09:53,543
You scoot over.
226
00:09:53,630 --> 00:09:54,936
You're sitting too close.
227
00:09:55,023 --> 00:09:57,547
Dammit, Beavis, cut it out.
228
00:09:57,634 --> 00:10:00,115
There we go.
That's better.
229
00:10:00,202 --> 00:10:03,423
Feels good to have things
back to normal again.
230
00:10:03,510 --> 00:10:05,120
Can you hear me?
231
00:10:05,207 --> 00:10:06,513
Hey!
232
00:10:06,600 --> 00:10:08,515
[cans rattling]
233
00:10:08,602 --> 00:10:10,256
Hey, Butt-Head, look.
234
00:10:10,343 --> 00:10:11,953
Look at those hot chicks.
235
00:10:14,564 --> 00:10:18,177
Aww, look at those two old
guys who just got married.
236
00:10:18,264 --> 00:10:21,658
Oh, look how much
they love each other.
237
00:10:21,746 --> 00:10:23,138
You see that, Beavis?
238
00:10:23,225 --> 00:10:24,836
They can tell we're back
on the market.
239
00:10:24,923 --> 00:10:26,576
Yeah, turn around, Butt-Head.
240
00:10:26,663 --> 00:10:30,145
It's too soon to get tied
down again, Beavis.
241
00:10:30,232 --> 00:10:33,627
We're good
just the way we are.
242
00:10:33,714 --> 00:10:36,325
[rock music]
243
00:10:36,412 --> 00:10:43,550
♪ ♪
244
00:11:05,485 --> 00:11:06,703
Chirp.
245
00:11:06,753 --> 00:11:11,303
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