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1
00:00:07,659 --> 00:00:11,359
♪ MTV ♪
2
00:00:11,446 --> 00:00:14,318
[rock music]
3
00:00:14,405 --> 00:00:21,021
♪ ♪
4
00:00:27,723 --> 00:00:30,595
George Washington
and the Founding Fathers
5
00:00:30,682 --> 00:00:32,858
were farmers, mm-kay?
6
00:00:32,945 --> 00:00:36,036
And the main crop
they grew was tobacco.
7
00:00:36,123 --> 00:00:39,082
Whoa.
You can grow cigarettes?
8
00:00:39,169 --> 00:00:42,912
Well, no, but you
can grow tobacco, mm-kay?
9
00:00:42,999 --> 00:00:45,436
You can grow tobacco.
10
00:00:45,523 --> 00:00:48,091
Yes, tobacco is a plant.
11
00:00:48,178 --> 00:00:50,876
It grows from seeds
like any other plant.
12
00:00:50,963 --> 00:00:55,142
Whoa, cigarette seeds.
That's cool.
13
00:00:55,229 --> 00:00:58,188
[sighs]
Guys, it's April.
14
00:00:58,275 --> 00:01:00,799
We're supposed to be up
to the Vietnam War.
15
00:01:00,886 --> 00:01:02,410
Now, as I was saying,
16
00:01:02,497 --> 00:01:06,283
tobacco was America's
first cash crop.
17
00:01:06,370 --> 00:01:08,198
Yeah, yeah,
get cash and money.
18
00:01:08,285 --> 00:01:11,332
Beavis, we've heard enough.
19
00:01:11,419 --> 00:01:13,769
Let's grow tobacco
and get cash money
20
00:01:13,856 --> 00:01:15,553
like that dumbass
George Washington.
21
00:01:15,640 --> 00:01:18,252
[chuckles]
22
00:01:18,339 --> 00:01:21,559
So, um, Butt-Head?
How do we grow tobacco?
23
00:01:21,646 --> 00:01:24,388
Uh...
24
00:01:24,475 --> 00:01:26,912
whoa, check it out.
25
00:01:26,999 --> 00:01:29,393
Whoa, is that
a cigarette seed?
26
00:01:29,480 --> 00:01:31,352
It sure is, Beavis.
27
00:01:31,439 --> 00:01:33,832
We finally learned something
from that hippie.
28
00:01:33,919 --> 00:01:35,660
[chuckles]
29
00:01:35,747 --> 00:01:39,708
Um, I don't think
it's growing, Butt-Head.
30
00:01:39,795 --> 00:01:43,712
That's because it's not
on a farm, butthole.
31
00:01:43,799 --> 00:01:46,889
It needs, like, dirt and,
like, barns and stuff.
32
00:01:46,976 --> 00:01:48,891
Oh, yeah, yeah.
33
00:01:48,978 --> 00:01:52,721
And, like, a pitchfork or
something, or some hay maybe.
34
00:01:52,808 --> 00:01:55,898
Whoa, check it out, Beavis.
More seeds.
35
00:01:55,985 --> 00:01:59,423
[both chuckling]
36
00:01:59,510 --> 00:02:01,469
It's good to see
two young people
37
00:02:01,556 --> 00:02:03,732
cleaning up all the litter
around here.
38
00:02:03,819 --> 00:02:05,821
There's a receptacle
right over there, boys.
39
00:02:05,908 --> 00:02:08,954
Whoa, cool.
40
00:02:09,041 --> 00:02:11,305
We're gonna be rich.
41
00:02:11,392 --> 00:02:13,524
I can't believe
these dumbasses
42
00:02:13,611 --> 00:02:16,266
just left these around and
didn't know they were seeds.
43
00:02:16,353 --> 00:02:17,746
They really suck at farming.
44
00:02:17,833 --> 00:02:20,836
Beavis, everybody
sucks at everything.
45
00:02:20,923 --> 00:02:23,143
[chuckles]
46
00:02:23,230 --> 00:02:24,622
♪ It'll be a Wednesday ♪
47
00:02:24,709 --> 00:02:27,103
♪ And I'll be going
in this coffee shop ♪
48
00:02:27,190 --> 00:02:30,150
♪ Hear the barista call an oat
milk latte and your name ♪
49
00:02:30,237 --> 00:02:32,804
♪ And I look up from my phone
and think there's no chance ♪
50
00:02:32,891 --> 00:02:34,676
♪ It's you, but it is ♪
51
00:02:34,763 --> 00:02:37,940
- Uh...
- Eh?
52
00:02:38,027 --> 00:02:39,463
♪ How's your family,
how's your sister? ♪
53
00:02:39,550 --> 00:02:41,596
♪ I'll say,
Shannon's being Shannon ♪
54
00:02:41,683 --> 00:02:44,599
♪ After a minute of nonsensical
chatter, you'll say ♪
55
00:02:44,686 --> 00:02:46,775
Does she know
that the video's started yet?
56
00:02:46,862 --> 00:02:50,518
She can't decide if she's,
like, talking, or singing,
57
00:02:50,605 --> 00:02:54,522
or rapping, or just not
really trying very hard.
58
00:02:54,609 --> 00:02:59,744
♪ We've been swimming
on edge of a cliff ♪
59
00:02:59,831 --> 00:03:01,398
Wait a second.
60
00:03:01,485 --> 00:03:02,660
Swimming on the edge
of a cliff?
61
00:03:02,747 --> 00:03:06,186
I don't understand that.
I don't get that at all.
62
00:03:06,273 --> 00:03:08,579
Maybe it's like, uhh,
63
00:03:08,666 --> 00:03:10,059
there's, like,
a waterfall or something?
64
00:03:10,146 --> 00:03:11,800
[chuckles]
65
00:03:11,887 --> 00:03:13,105
No, no,
that would be a waterfall.
66
00:03:13,193 --> 00:03:14,846
It's not a cliff.
67
00:03:14,933 --> 00:03:17,501
No, it doesn't make any sense.
It doesn't make any sense.
68
00:03:17,588 --> 00:03:20,025
Swimming on the edge
of a cliff, I don't get it.
69
00:03:20,112 --> 00:03:23,072
Uh, okay, Beavis.
70
00:03:23,159 --> 00:03:26,467
It's dumb.
Do you get that?
71
00:03:26,554 --> 00:03:28,686
♪ We've been swimming ♪
72
00:03:28,773 --> 00:03:31,559
Well, maybe there's,
like, a baby pool,
73
00:03:31,646 --> 00:03:34,475
but you can't swim
in a baby pool.
74
00:03:34,562 --> 00:03:36,216
Yeah, I don't understand it.
75
00:03:36,303 --> 00:03:38,914
Dammit, Beavis, who cares?
76
00:03:39,001 --> 00:03:41,656
It's just stupid.
77
00:03:41,743 --> 00:03:43,875
If there was pool
on the edge of a cliff--
78
00:03:43,962 --> 00:03:45,616
just think about it
for like a couple minutes.
79
00:03:45,703 --> 00:03:47,183
If there was a pool
on the edge of a cliff--
80
00:03:47,270 --> 00:03:48,663
Uh, anyway, Beavis--
81
00:03:48,750 --> 00:03:50,099
So where's the edge
of the pool?
82
00:03:50,186 --> 00:03:51,883
Is that the cliff?
- Dammit, Beavis, shut up.
83
00:03:51,970 --> 00:03:53,798
Wait a minute.
84
00:03:53,885 --> 00:03:56,758
Maybe the whole cliff is made
of water, or it's ice
85
00:03:56,845 --> 00:03:58,150
because--you know, 'cause
then that's part of the--
86
00:03:58,238 --> 00:04:00,152
no, no, that isn't it.
87
00:04:00,240 --> 00:04:02,198
♪ You'll suggest a restaurant
we used to go to ♪
88
00:04:02,285 --> 00:04:03,765
She'd be a cool girlfriend
89
00:04:03,852 --> 00:04:05,636
'cause you could, like,
come home and just say,
90
00:04:05,723 --> 00:04:07,159
"Well, how was your day?"
91
00:04:07,247 --> 00:04:09,423
And then she'd be like,
"Bleh, bleh, bleh.
92
00:04:09,510 --> 00:04:10,859
It was a Wednesday, and--"
93
00:04:10,946 --> 00:04:12,339
I'm sorry
to keep harping on this,
94
00:04:12,426 --> 00:04:13,992
but I'm thinking
about the cliff again,
95
00:04:14,079 --> 00:04:18,258
and maybe if you took
an aboveground pool,
96
00:04:18,345 --> 00:04:21,739
one of those infinite pools
or something, but--
97
00:04:21,826 --> 00:04:23,654
Dammit, Beavis,
if you say one more thing
98
00:04:23,741 --> 00:04:25,308
about the cliff,
I'm gonna smack
99
00:04:25,395 --> 00:04:26,222
the living crap out of you.
100
00:04:26,309 --> 00:04:27,876
Hang on, hang on.
101
00:04:27,963 --> 00:04:29,747
Let me just circle back
to the cliff for a second.
102
00:04:29,834 --> 00:04:31,358
Okay, hear me out.
103
00:04:31,445 --> 00:04:35,318
My grandmother's favorite actor
is Montgomery Clift.
104
00:04:35,405 --> 00:04:36,972
Now, if he had a pool
at his house--
105
00:04:37,059 --> 00:04:38,669
Ahh!
106
00:04:42,369 --> 00:04:44,893
[grunts]
- Hurry up, Beavis.
107
00:04:44,980 --> 00:04:47,591
We gotta, like, find some dirt,
so we can go farm
108
00:04:47,678 --> 00:04:50,942
like that George Washington butthole.
109
00:04:51,029 --> 00:04:55,730
You know, I wonder if
George Washington ever scored.
110
00:04:55,817 --> 00:04:58,123
Of course he scored, dumbass.
111
00:04:58,210 --> 00:05:01,779
He's rich, and he's got
his own cigarette trees.
112
00:05:01,866 --> 00:05:03,912
You should think
before you open your mouth
113
00:05:03,999 --> 00:05:05,957
once in a while.
114
00:05:06,044 --> 00:05:07,524
[chuckles]
115
00:05:07,611 --> 00:05:09,744
Dammit,
stop eating the seeds.
116
00:05:09,831 --> 00:05:13,661
Sorry, it's like, I ate one,
and now it's like,
117
00:05:13,748 --> 00:05:15,532
I just can't stop, you know?
118
00:05:15,619 --> 00:05:16,577
It's like
I'm addicted to seeds,
119
00:05:16,664 --> 00:05:18,753
you know what I'm saying?
120
00:05:18,840 --> 00:05:20,668
[chuckling]
- Whoa.
121
00:05:20,755 --> 00:05:24,585
Check it out, Beavis, a farm.
122
00:05:28,284 --> 00:05:32,070
Um, Butt-Head, how are we
supposed to plant our tobacco?
123
00:05:32,157 --> 00:05:35,944
There's, like, already
all these plants here.
124
00:05:36,031 --> 00:05:37,337
Uh...
125
00:05:37,424 --> 00:05:40,165
I think they're just like
weeds or something.
126
00:05:40,252 --> 00:05:42,429
People have really let this
place go to crap, you know.
127
00:05:42,516 --> 00:05:44,561
It's a disgrace.
128
00:05:44,648 --> 00:05:47,869
Well, let's dig this crap up.
129
00:05:47,956 --> 00:05:51,307
Damn weeds.
130
00:05:51,394 --> 00:05:52,961
What the hell is this thing?
131
00:05:53,048 --> 00:05:56,007
[both grunting]
132
00:05:56,094 --> 00:05:59,968
[rock music]
133
00:06:00,055 --> 00:06:06,888
♪ ♪
134
00:06:06,975 --> 00:06:09,412
[sighs]
Farming is hard work.
135
00:06:09,499 --> 00:06:12,372
[grunts]
136
00:06:12,459 --> 00:06:15,636
Feels good though, you know?
Back to the soil.
137
00:06:20,162 --> 00:06:23,470
[grunts]
That ought to do it.
138
00:06:23,557 --> 00:06:26,255
Now let's plant our tobacco.
139
00:06:26,342 --> 00:06:28,736
[grunts]
- [chuckles]
140
00:06:32,740 --> 00:06:36,396
There we go, all done.
141
00:06:36,483 --> 00:06:38,398
So, um...
142
00:06:38,485 --> 00:06:40,530
when will they be ready?
143
00:06:40,617 --> 00:06:42,053
Patience, Beavis.
144
00:06:42,140 --> 00:06:44,447
The cigarette tree takes
many seasons to grow.
145
00:06:46,014 --> 00:06:49,104
Uh, how many of those
did you eat?
146
00:06:49,191 --> 00:06:52,324
I don't know.
Probably like 80.
147
00:06:52,412 --> 00:06:54,196
Dammit, Beavis,
each one of those was gonna be
148
00:06:54,283 --> 00:06:56,111
a whole cigarette tree.
149
00:06:56,198 --> 00:06:58,069
You ate like 80 trees.
150
00:06:58,156 --> 00:06:59,506
Sorry, sorry.
151
00:06:59,593 --> 00:07:02,596
Just one more to help me relax.
152
00:07:02,683 --> 00:07:06,469
I'll stop tomorrow.
153
00:07:06,556 --> 00:07:09,037
Dammit, Beavis, now we gotta
go find more seeds,
154
00:07:09,124 --> 00:07:10,952
or we're not gonna
get rich enough.
155
00:07:11,039 --> 00:07:13,911
Oh, yeah, yeah.
Yeah, good idea.
156
00:07:13,998 --> 00:07:16,174
I'm, like,
craving finding more seeds.
157
00:07:16,261 --> 00:07:18,002
You know what I mean?
158
00:07:18,089 --> 00:07:19,613
[gasps]
159
00:07:19,700 --> 00:07:21,876
- Oh, no.
- Oh, my God.
160
00:07:23,181 --> 00:07:26,402
I don't understand who would do
something like this.
161
00:07:26,489 --> 00:07:28,012
The important thing is,
162
00:07:28,099 --> 00:07:31,015
we worked together
and cleaned it up.
163
00:07:33,235 --> 00:07:36,151
Butt-Head,
the weeds grew back.
164
00:07:36,238 --> 00:07:37,674
That sucks.
165
00:07:37,761 --> 00:07:39,633
Well, let's get to work.
166
00:07:39,720 --> 00:07:43,419
[grunting]
167
00:07:43,506 --> 00:07:45,856
No one said it'd be easy.
168
00:07:49,164 --> 00:07:50,644
What the hell?
169
00:07:50,731 --> 00:07:52,080
What are you doing
in our garden?
170
00:07:52,167 --> 00:07:53,951
Uh...
171
00:07:54,038 --> 00:07:55,344
we're farming, dumbass.
172
00:07:55,431 --> 00:07:57,259
What does it look like?
173
00:07:57,346 --> 00:07:58,521
Yeah, yeah, we're trying
to get rid of these weeds,
174
00:07:58,608 --> 00:08:01,350
unlike some lazy people.
175
00:08:01,437 --> 00:08:03,134
What's your problem?
176
00:08:03,221 --> 00:08:05,789
Wait a second.
I know these boys.
177
00:08:05,876 --> 00:08:08,357
They couldn't have been
the ones who ruined our garden.
178
00:08:08,444 --> 00:08:11,752
They're good boys,
and they pick up litter.
179
00:08:11,839 --> 00:08:14,189
Uh, what?
180
00:08:14,276 --> 00:08:16,583
No, no, we're trying
to be like George Washington.
181
00:08:16,670 --> 00:08:19,107
George Washington?
182
00:08:19,194 --> 00:08:21,805
I guess they know
the importance of being honest.
183
00:08:21,892 --> 00:08:25,200
Yeah,
George Washington scored.
184
00:08:25,287 --> 00:08:27,158
They were just trying
to help clean up,
185
00:08:27,245 --> 00:08:28,682
and we jumped to conclusions.
186
00:08:28,769 --> 00:08:31,075
- Mm-hmm.
- I'm sorry, boys.
187
00:08:31,162 --> 00:08:33,425
If you two ever want
to help us garden,
188
00:08:33,513 --> 00:08:34,731
you're always welcome.
189
00:08:34,818 --> 00:08:37,168
Um, okay.
190
00:08:37,255 --> 00:08:39,562
Well, Beavis,
let's get to farming.
191
00:08:39,649 --> 00:08:41,477
We've got a lot
of hard work ahead of us.
192
00:08:41,564 --> 00:08:42,913
- That's right.
- Yes.
193
00:08:42,100 --> 00:08:45,394
Sir, could I use
your shovel for a minute?
194
00:08:45,481 --> 00:08:48,789
For a fellow gardener?
Of course.
195
00:08:51,792 --> 00:08:54,229
Hey, stop that!
196
00:08:54,316 --> 00:08:56,492
We're just trying
to do an honest day's work,
197
00:08:56,579 --> 00:08:58,363
you lazy buttholes.
198
00:08:58,450 --> 00:09:00,452
Yeah, work.
You ever heard of it?
199
00:09:00,540 --> 00:09:03,020
Lend a hand
or get out of the way.
200
00:09:03,107 --> 00:09:05,240
- Let's get 'em!
- Hey, hey, hey!
201
00:09:05,327 --> 00:09:07,024
[groans]
202
00:09:07,111 --> 00:09:08,548
- Ow!
- Don't make me kick your--
203
00:09:08,635 --> 00:09:11,289
[grunts and yells]
204
00:09:13,422 --> 00:09:16,033
Tobacco sucks.
205
00:09:16,120 --> 00:09:19,167
That old lady kicked
my ass so hard,
206
00:09:19,254 --> 00:09:21,299
the doctor said
I have a tumor on my tongue.
207
00:09:21,386 --> 00:09:24,085
And it increased my risk
of heart disease.
208
00:09:24,172 --> 00:09:26,087
Yeah.
209
00:09:26,174 --> 00:09:29,351
And also, like, a low fetal
birth weight or something.
210
00:09:29,438 --> 00:09:31,222
I don't know.
211
00:09:31,309 --> 00:09:33,790
Well, we certainly learned
a lesson today.
212
00:09:33,877 --> 00:09:35,749
Yep, we sure did.
213
00:09:35,836 --> 00:09:38,360
The reason George Washington
is dead is some old ladies
214
00:09:38,447 --> 00:09:40,667
kicked his ass
and gave him cancer.
215
00:09:40,754 --> 00:09:42,451
[chuckles]
216
00:09:42,538 --> 00:09:45,193
And that's why we're
the greatest country on Earth.
217
00:09:45,280 --> 00:09:49,371
[rock music]
218
00:09:49,421 --> 00:09:53,971
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