All language subtitles for The.Most.Beautiful.Boy.In.The.World.2021.SWEDISH.1080p.WEBRip.x264-VXT

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:50,200 --> 00:00:54,280 One day, Pelle was sleeping. 2 00:00:54,560 --> 00:00:57,200 It was actually dark. 3 00:00:58,960 --> 00:01:02,560 But Father wasn't there. 4 00:01:04,760 --> 00:01:08,280 So he went over to Mother's bed. 5 00:01:08,320 --> 00:01:12,640 But Mother wasn't there either. 6 00:01:12,680 --> 00:01:16,320 Where are Mother and Father? 7 00:01:28,600 --> 00:01:33,320 - Mummy! - Come here. 8 00:01:43,960 --> 00:01:47,960 This is how you speak into it, Björn. Like this. 9 00:01:49,960 --> 00:01:54,320 Can you say "Mummy"? Say "Mummy". 10 00:01:56,120 --> 00:01:58,600 No, you're spoiling the flower. 11 00:02:11,400 --> 00:02:14,280 No, no - you're not to play with it! 12 00:02:25,720 --> 00:02:28,120 Goodbye - off to bed now. 13 00:02:39,840 --> 00:02:43,640 It's 16 November, 1962. 14 00:02:43,680 --> 00:02:46,280 - Hello? - Hi, Björn! 15 00:02:46,520 --> 00:02:48,640 How are you, sweetheart? 16 00:02:48,680 --> 00:02:53,280 - Well, not all that good. - Aren't you? 17 00:02:54,400 --> 00:02:57,400 - Is Mum home? - No. 18 00:03:27,680 --> 00:03:31,960 It's a bitter cold gloomy February day in 1970. 19 00:03:33,240 --> 00:03:36,840 The film director Luchino Visconti is on his way to Stockholm. 20 00:03:37,120 --> 00:03:40,120 One of cinema's most outstanding figures, 21 00:03:40,400 --> 00:03:43,680 he's known both for his artistry and his lineage. 22 00:03:44,000 --> 00:03:49,680 He's from the nobility of northern Italy. He's a Communist, yet he has servants. 23 00:03:49,720 --> 00:03:52,680 And he's openly gay. 24 00:03:53,120 --> 00:03:57,680 Visconti is out, seeking pure beauty - 25 00:03:58,960 --> 00:04:05,240 perfect beauty in a boy who is to play the lead in his new film. 26 00:04:08,240 --> 00:04:12,640 I can't see his eyes. What colour are they? 27 00:04:12,680 --> 00:04:14,920 Look over here. 28 00:04:14,960 --> 00:04:16,600 Green. 29 00:04:16,640 --> 00:04:20,120 He looks lovely - a beautiful face. 30 00:04:21,360 --> 00:04:23,720 Tell him to take some pictures. 31 00:04:24,360 --> 00:04:30,360 For years, he's travelled, searching - in Hungary, Poland, Finland, Russia. 32 00:04:36,160 --> 00:04:39,680 In a large apartment next to the Grand Hôtel in Stockholm 33 00:04:39,720 --> 00:04:43,200 a group of boys have gathered, full of anticipation. 34 00:04:43,240 --> 00:04:46,920 - He is a child actor. - A child actor, is he? 35 00:04:50,400 --> 00:04:53,680 Have you seen anyone you think might work? 36 00:04:53,720 --> 00:05:00,000 No, not yet. Some are really sweet, but we've not got a bullseye yet. 37 00:05:00,040 --> 00:05:02,920 The door is about to open. 38 00:05:02,960 --> 00:05:07,360 A boy, stood behind the door, doesn't yet know 39 00:05:07,400 --> 00:05:11,560 that his entire life is about to change. 40 00:05:11,600 --> 00:05:17,480 His face is to become an icon - all over the world. 41 00:05:42,280 --> 00:05:45,880 How old is he? Older, right? 42 00:05:45,920 --> 00:05:52,240 - Yes, a little. He's 15. - Big. 15? Very beautiful. Turn your head. 43 00:05:52,280 --> 00:05:53,920 In profile. 44 00:05:54,920 --> 00:05:59,760 - He's very beautiful in this photo. - Did you bring any photographs? 45 00:05:59,800 --> 00:06:01,520 No. 46 00:06:01,560 --> 00:06:04,480 Can you walk round the room in a circle? 47 00:06:07,120 --> 00:06:10,400 He's damn tall. 48 00:06:11,920 --> 00:06:15,880 - Beautiful! Ask him to undress. - Could you bare your torso? 49 00:06:15,920 --> 00:06:18,120 - What? - Can you bare your torso? 50 00:06:18,160 --> 00:06:21,360 - So you're half-naked. - Half-naked? 51 00:06:21,400 --> 00:06:25,880 - Look into the camera, too. - Look into the camera and smile a little. 52 00:06:25,920 --> 00:06:29,600 - Very beautiful... - Walk around a bit. 53 00:06:32,040 --> 00:06:36,880 Ask him to stop. Get a big close-up, really tight! 54 00:06:36,920 --> 00:06:38,760 Turn to camera. 55 00:06:38,800 --> 00:06:42,840 Very, very close. Three-quarter shot, not full face. 56 00:06:46,680 --> 00:06:50,600 - Smile into the camera. - Look into the camera and smile. 57 00:06:51,800 --> 00:06:56,560 - You have a lovely smile! - Thank you. We need to take pictures. 58 00:06:56,600 --> 00:07:01,760 Mario! Let's take close-ups, too - 59 00:07:01,800 --> 00:07:06,600 profile right and left, his face, and full on, with naked torso. 60 00:07:08,800 --> 00:07:11,840 He has a beautiful face. 61 00:08:04,400 --> 00:08:09,120 Welcome to Tenants' Association. You'll be given three options. 62 00:08:09,160 --> 00:08:11,920 Choose the one that best suits your needs. 63 00:08:11,960 --> 00:08:16,240 Well, I need legal advice. 64 00:08:16,280 --> 00:08:19,800 What do I do? I know nothing about this stuff. 65 00:08:19,840 --> 00:08:24,120 Explain what's happened and what you need assistance with, 66 00:08:24,160 --> 00:08:27,320 and I'll do what I can to help. 67 00:08:27,360 --> 00:08:31,720 You could say I'm being threatened with eviction... 68 00:08:33,160 --> 00:08:36,880 - ...with termination of contract. - Right. 69 00:08:39,800 --> 00:08:42,120 In the landlord's letter, Björn, 70 00:08:42,160 --> 00:08:46,840 it says that you're a danger to other tenants, since you left the gas stove on. 71 00:08:46,880 --> 00:08:50,600 - That's bullshit! - Sure, but look here... 72 00:08:50,640 --> 00:08:56,120 - I am not careless. I check it every time! - But it's all part of her concern. 73 00:08:56,160 --> 00:08:59,360 Because a filthy kitchen fan... 74 00:08:59,400 --> 00:09:04,280 - ...covered in oil, can easily catch fire. - I realise that. 75 00:09:04,520 --> 00:09:08,520 That is why you are a danger. You have to keep it clean. 76 00:09:09,280 --> 00:09:13,240 Now, it's a matter of explaining why you were lying on the bed, 77 00:09:13,280 --> 00:09:15,840 with the gas burner on. Because she knows that. 78 00:09:15,880 --> 00:09:21,240 And why the gas burner is on when you are not at home. 79 00:09:21,280 --> 00:09:25,040 Your duvet... I lifted it... 80 00:09:25,080 --> 00:09:29,520 And while I held it up it just disintegrated. 81 00:09:29,560 --> 00:09:34,840 It just collapsed into little foam rubber fragments 82 00:09:34,880 --> 00:09:39,080 of old, disgusting, I don't know what. 83 00:09:39,880 --> 00:09:43,520 Wait... I still have a pillow here. Look! 84 00:09:43,560 --> 00:09:45,680 Underneath here. Look! 85 00:09:46,800 --> 00:09:52,640 Bugs have been feeding on this. It's so bloody revolting. Horrible! 86 00:09:52,680 --> 00:09:55,880 And under it there was a layer this thick... 87 00:09:57,080 --> 00:09:59,880 I don't even know what... Pure filth. 88 00:10:00,920 --> 00:10:03,280 It looks like poo... 89 00:10:04,920 --> 00:10:08,200 ...from carpet beetles or revolting bugs like that. 90 00:10:10,200 --> 00:10:11,800 Bloody disgusting! 91 00:10:17,560 --> 00:10:21,640 - My home's an environmental hazard. - Right. 92 00:10:21,680 --> 00:10:23,680 It's true. 93 00:10:55,440 --> 00:10:59,040 "Cyclone". What did I mean by that title? 94 00:10:59,800 --> 00:11:01,520 Wow...! 95 00:11:14,400 --> 00:11:19,400 I had run away from this ghastly boarding school in Denmark 96 00:11:19,440 --> 00:11:23,640 and got to Stockholm, to my maternal grandparents. 97 00:11:26,160 --> 00:11:29,520 I didn't have any parents, really. 98 00:11:29,560 --> 00:11:33,680 It was Granny that saw to all this stuff. 99 00:11:34,680 --> 00:11:38,400 She put my name down for all sorts of things. 100 00:11:38,440 --> 00:11:41,560 I don't know - I suppose I just went along with it all. 101 00:11:45,400 --> 00:11:49,520 She wanted a celebrity for a grandchild. 102 00:11:52,680 --> 00:11:56,560 And all I was certain about was that I wanted to play music. 103 00:12:02,160 --> 00:12:07,640 I didn't really have any concept of how big this all was. 104 00:12:09,920 --> 00:12:13,760 It was, of course, great to go abroad, 105 00:12:13,800 --> 00:12:15,960 to a country I'd never been to, 106 00:12:16,000 --> 00:12:20,000 to do some kind of cool extra school-holiday work. 107 00:12:20,640 --> 00:12:23,160 Ecco - a little bit more... 108 00:12:23,200 --> 00:12:24,880 Quiet, please! 109 00:12:33,760 --> 00:12:37,000 Tadzio - that beautiful sculpture of a boy - 110 00:12:37,040 --> 00:12:40,680 is played by Björn Andrésen, a 15-year-old Swedish boy. 111 00:12:41,760 --> 00:12:45,760 Did you know exactly what you were after when you started looking? 112 00:12:45,800 --> 00:12:48,600 Yes, exactly that. Just like him. 113 00:12:48,640 --> 00:12:53,520 - As if you'd had a photograph? - Yes. He was the sixth boy I'd tried. 114 00:12:53,560 --> 00:12:55,880 I knew immediately. 115 00:12:55,920 --> 00:13:01,880 He is blond, with a perfect profile and grey eyes. Can you see his grey eyes? 116 00:13:01,920 --> 00:13:06,440 "The colour of water", as Mr Mann wrote. Just like the colour of these eyes. 117 00:13:08,160 --> 00:13:12,760 He's to be as cold as a statue. He's understood the part. He's perfect. 118 00:13:12,800 --> 00:13:18,160 There's no risk of slipping into sexuality. That would amount to a serious fault. 119 00:13:19,400 --> 00:13:25,280 I was standing next to Visconti, when this blond boy turned up. 120 00:13:26,160 --> 00:13:28,360 It was plain to see 121 00:13:28,400 --> 00:13:33,920 that Visconti's whole body came to life. 122 00:13:37,040 --> 00:13:42,920 The boy was exquisitely beautiful, with a truly photogenic face. 123 00:13:44,040 --> 00:13:47,400 He was a real find. 124 00:13:47,440 --> 00:13:51,880 He was a boy with a very special charisma. 125 00:13:53,400 --> 00:13:55,280 He seems frail. 126 00:13:57,040 --> 00:14:00,160 And that's really beautiful in a film. 127 00:14:05,160 --> 00:14:09,040 You need to be very careful dealing with children like that. 128 00:14:11,680 --> 00:14:18,040 "Death in Venice" is set at a classic hotel on the Lido, an island off Venice: 129 00:14:18,080 --> 00:14:20,400 the Grand Hôtel des Bains. 130 00:14:20,440 --> 00:14:25,880 The story, written by Thomas Mann, had preoccupied Visconti for years. 131 00:14:26,280 --> 00:14:31,160 With the ancient hotel, he creates a perfect turn-of-the-century setting. 132 00:14:32,000 --> 00:14:37,800 To Visconti, "Death in Venice" is a deeply personal narrative. 133 00:15:18,880 --> 00:15:22,000 Granny came along to Venice. 134 00:15:22,040 --> 00:15:26,280 She'd brought a Super 8 cine camera and, of course, she shot everything. 135 00:15:27,280 --> 00:15:30,800 Visconti gave her a small part, which pleased her no end. 136 00:15:33,680 --> 00:15:36,920 I also had a governess - Miriam. 137 00:15:38,920 --> 00:15:41,920 She was meant to help me with my schoolwork. 138 00:15:45,200 --> 00:15:47,400 You were like a younger brother. 139 00:15:47,440 --> 00:15:52,520 whom I was supposed to protect against this new world, new to me as well. 140 00:15:52,560 --> 00:15:55,960 That was my job, as stated in my contract. 141 00:15:56,000 --> 00:15:58,880 I found it pretty hard going. 142 00:16:06,880 --> 00:16:10,960 Someone mentioned that Visconti had issued an order. 143 00:16:11,000 --> 00:16:15,280 Remember, the whole crew were homosexuals. 144 00:16:15,520 --> 00:16:20,880 An order that no one was as much as to to look at little Tadzio. 145 00:16:22,400 --> 00:16:29,080 Without my being aware of it, I was in a sense being protected by "the man". 146 00:16:35,680 --> 00:16:38,360 It's a love story, one that's pure. 147 00:16:38,400 --> 00:16:41,160 It's neither sexual nor erotic. 148 00:16:41,200 --> 00:16:44,800 It's a higher form of love. Let's say... 149 00:16:45,440 --> 00:16:49,880 - Perfection within love. - I imagine, looking for producers... 150 00:16:49,920 --> 00:16:54,640 The story of the love between an aging composer and an adolescent boy... 151 00:16:54,680 --> 00:16:58,240 - That might cause certain problems. - It did. 152 00:16:58,280 --> 00:17:03,760 One producer in particular wanted to cast a girl, to replace Tadzio. 153 00:17:03,800 --> 00:17:05,960 "No," I said, 154 00:17:06,000 --> 00:17:10,440 "I refuse to have a Tadzia." It wouldn't keep to the author's message, right? 155 00:17:12,040 --> 00:17:19,960 You were to be used to illustrate a story that was in no way your story. 156 00:17:20,000 --> 00:17:25,600 People were a bit scared of Visconti. He was a very... 157 00:17:26,120 --> 00:17:29,240 He was a powerful personality 158 00:17:29,280 --> 00:17:35,200 with a severe look and a stern tone of voice when he spoke. 159 00:17:35,240 --> 00:17:37,440 And he was ruthless. 160 00:17:43,840 --> 00:17:49,600 Visconti's directing - as far as he gave me any - 161 00:17:49,640 --> 00:17:53,960 can be reduced to more or less four directions: 162 00:18:10,240 --> 00:18:14,680 Thomas Mann describes Tadzio as having honey-coloured hair, 163 00:18:14,720 --> 00:18:17,600 like a god in Greek mythology. 164 00:18:20,640 --> 00:18:27,280 And the boy is not really human - rather, an angel of death. 165 00:18:42,480 --> 00:18:48,760 On March 1, 1971, "Death in Venice" has its world premiere in London, 166 00:18:48,800 --> 00:18:52,760 in the presence of the queen and Princess Anne. 167 00:18:55,040 --> 00:18:58,480 It is here that Visconti for the first time 168 00:18:58,520 --> 00:19:03,640 declares Björn to be the most beautiful boy in the world. 169 00:19:04,280 --> 00:19:07,000 The description is to stay with Björn 170 00:19:07,040 --> 00:19:09,760 for the rest of his life. 171 00:19:11,240 --> 00:19:14,160 He is "the most beautiful boy in the world". 172 00:19:14,200 --> 00:19:19,240 But two months later "Death in Venice" is shown at the Cannes Film Festival 173 00:19:19,280 --> 00:19:22,040 and everything takes off. 174 00:19:25,640 --> 00:19:29,960 Cannes, 1971, a ritual that's already 25 years old: 175 00:19:30,000 --> 00:19:34,800 Black tie, appropriate smiles, photographers welcoming the stars. 176 00:19:34,840 --> 00:19:39,600 The 25th Festival jury, accompanied by Luchino Visconti. 177 00:19:39,640 --> 00:19:43,000 There is a huge crowd at the Palais des Festivals - 178 00:19:43,040 --> 00:19:46,080 tonight's the opening night of the Film Festival. 179 00:19:51,760 --> 00:19:56,440 The true hurricane, so to speak, 180 00:19:56,480 --> 00:20:00,520 picked up speed at the Cannes Festival. 181 00:20:00,560 --> 00:20:03,080 That's when the real circus started. 182 00:20:07,440 --> 00:20:11,680 Visconti is, as almost always, one of the favourites, 183 00:20:11,720 --> 00:20:14,200 this time with his Death in Venice. 184 00:20:17,960 --> 00:20:22,160 There's a lamp right in my eyes. I can't see! Ah, better now, thanks. 185 00:20:22,200 --> 00:20:25,000 Backlighting's better... Questions? 186 00:20:25,040 --> 00:20:30,320 - May I ask you a question, Mr Visconti? - By all means. 187 00:20:30,360 --> 00:20:34,480 One need hardly point out, yet again, the prowess of Dirk Bogarde. 188 00:20:34,520 --> 00:20:39,440 - But Björn Andrésen was unknown to us. - I'll give you the Björn Andrésen story... 189 00:20:39,480 --> 00:20:43,720 ...with his permission. He's not too good at French, but he knows all this: 190 00:20:43,760 --> 00:20:45,960 I'd got to Stockholm 191 00:20:46,000 --> 00:20:50,680 and on the first day I started screen-testing young Swedish boys. 192 00:20:50,720 --> 00:20:56,760 The fifth boy to enter the room was Monsieur Björn Andrésen. 193 00:20:56,800 --> 00:21:01,000 And I was absolutely sure he was right for Tadzio. I had no doubt whatsoever. 194 00:21:01,040 --> 00:21:06,760 I had every inch of him photographed, from top to toe... You remember! 195 00:21:07,120 --> 00:21:08,920 We'd found Tadzio! 196 00:21:08,960 --> 00:21:12,880 He was even more beautiful back then. He has aged now. 197 00:21:13,560 --> 00:21:18,200 He's too tall now. His hair's too long. He was a more beautiful boy back then. 198 00:21:18,240 --> 00:21:21,960 Not that he knows, but he's changing. He might become a handsome man. 199 00:21:22,000 --> 00:21:24,720 But for the moment, well... 200 00:21:25,280 --> 00:21:27,760 He's at an awkward age. 201 00:21:27,800 --> 00:21:30,200 He is fifteen now... 202 00:21:30,240 --> 00:21:33,480 No, sixteen. He is very old now. 203 00:21:34,280 --> 00:21:36,040 Move it along! 204 00:21:40,880 --> 00:21:43,880 I was pretty terrified. 205 00:21:45,360 --> 00:21:53,480 It felt like swarms of bats around me, pretty much all the time. 206 00:21:57,200 --> 00:21:59,960 It was a living nightmare. 207 00:22:04,360 --> 00:22:08,640 Suddenly, I felt that people were looking up to me. 208 00:22:11,040 --> 00:22:13,400 And acknowledging me. 209 00:22:13,440 --> 00:22:15,840 Even sucking up to me. 210 00:22:17,960 --> 00:22:22,560 "What the hell's this? How come everyone suddenly likes me?" 211 00:22:23,040 --> 00:22:28,520 That's not a good basis for strong self-esteem, 212 00:22:28,560 --> 00:22:34,000 since you know you can't trust someone's genuinely liking you. 213 00:22:34,040 --> 00:22:39,840 Moreover, Visconti had declared me to be 214 00:22:39,880 --> 00:22:44,880 "the most beautiful boy in the world". 215 00:22:54,840 --> 00:22:58,960 I'd planned to have great makeup on, but now it all looks crap. 216 00:23:00,040 --> 00:23:05,000 Heck! Oh well, no one'll notice. 217 00:23:05,040 --> 00:23:07,240 There! 218 00:23:07,280 --> 00:23:09,760 Right. Okay... 219 00:23:09,800 --> 00:23:13,440 - Do I look all right? - You look great. 220 00:23:13,480 --> 00:23:16,760 You should have black socks. You can't wear those. 221 00:23:16,800 --> 00:23:19,040 I can put my boots on. 222 00:23:19,080 --> 00:23:22,800 - No, you can't have it like that! - No, all right. 223 00:23:24,440 --> 00:23:26,560 - Björn! - Okay, I'll open. 224 00:23:29,560 --> 00:23:30,960 - Hello! - Hi. 225 00:23:31,000 --> 00:23:33,080 - You do look fine! - Do I? 226 00:23:33,120 --> 00:23:36,440 - Hi. - Hi. I'm Jessica. 227 00:23:36,480 --> 00:23:38,320 - And I'm Eva. - Hi, Eva. 228 00:23:38,360 --> 00:23:41,520 It didn't look like this on my last visit. The gas burner was on. 229 00:23:41,560 --> 00:23:44,680 - Yes, I realise. - And it was utterly... Well, you know. 230 00:23:44,720 --> 00:23:46,760 Yes. 231 00:23:46,800 --> 00:23:53,720 I always used to have a gas burner on... 232 00:23:54,560 --> 00:23:56,680 ...during the winter months. 233 00:23:56,720 --> 00:24:00,040 - When you sat in the kitchen. - Of course. 234 00:24:00,080 --> 00:24:05,560 But otherwise, too, when it's been really cold outdoors. 235 00:24:05,600 --> 00:24:08,440 But that's hardly normal, 236 00:24:08,480 --> 00:24:11,800 seeing as the block is reasonably well heated. 237 00:24:11,840 --> 00:24:14,800 - Do you take milk, Eva? - No thanks. 238 00:24:14,840 --> 00:24:16,600 - Sugar? - No, as it is. 239 00:24:16,640 --> 00:24:19,200 - Is this okay? - Yes, thank you. 240 00:24:20,000 --> 00:24:23,240 - Who are you, by the way? - I'm Jessica. I'm Björn's girlfriend. 241 00:24:23,280 --> 00:24:27,560 Ah, okay! You're the one who called me yesterday. Right. 242 00:24:29,840 --> 00:24:33,240 So, first and foremost... Last Monday... 243 00:24:35,280 --> 00:24:39,000 I don't really know how to explain what happened... 244 00:24:39,040 --> 00:24:42,800 You can't explain it, as it had never happened before. That's all. 245 00:24:42,840 --> 00:24:49,320 Exactly, that's it. I'm not lacking in powers of judgement. 246 00:24:49,360 --> 00:24:54,240 Of course I turn the gas off when I leave the flat or go to bed. 247 00:24:54,280 --> 00:24:58,600 The state of the flat, though... There's a fine line between your integrity 248 00:24:58,640 --> 00:25:04,240 as to having your flat the way you want it and your obligations as a tenant. 249 00:25:04,280 --> 00:25:06,800 This may come as a comfort to you, as a landlord: 250 00:25:06,840 --> 00:25:11,160 There isn't a single animal to be found in this flat. How about that Björn! 251 00:25:11,200 --> 00:25:15,440 Not a single bug or insect! 252 00:25:15,480 --> 00:25:19,240 - Amazing, considering... - I'm happy to note that. 253 00:25:19,280 --> 00:25:23,920 - I smoked them to death. - But now we smoke out on the balcony. 254 00:25:23,960 --> 00:25:27,200 Björn is truly a decent well-ordered person. 255 00:25:27,240 --> 00:25:30,600 I'm sure he is. Everything will be fine. 256 00:25:30,640 --> 00:25:33,960 He hasn't disturbed any neighbours in all these years. 257 00:25:34,000 --> 00:25:38,560 You're well-behaved in that sense. 258 00:25:38,600 --> 00:25:41,080 It will be fine. 259 00:25:41,120 --> 00:25:44,200 We need to clean this door, too. 260 00:25:50,960 --> 00:25:52,800 Wow! 261 00:25:52,840 --> 00:25:55,240 Can you believe it! 262 00:25:55,280 --> 00:25:59,560 Oh, Björn! My God, what a relief! 263 00:26:03,520 --> 00:26:06,480 - Right. Let's get drunk! - Yes, drunk. 264 00:26:06,520 --> 00:26:08,480 Bloody soused. 265 00:26:10,000 --> 00:26:15,000 - We've earned it, for ten days' cleaning. - Hell, I need a cig! 266 00:26:15,040 --> 00:26:17,120 - Yup. - Now! 267 00:26:18,120 --> 00:26:21,200 A new bed. You really need one. 268 00:26:21,840 --> 00:26:27,000 Nobody should be made to sleep the way you've had to. 269 00:26:27,040 --> 00:26:29,240 - No. - My sweetheart... 270 00:26:29,280 --> 00:26:32,920 That's what happens when you don't feel like a human being. 271 00:26:32,960 --> 00:26:34,720 My darling. 272 00:26:44,520 --> 00:26:47,440 Now I feel like a human being again. 273 00:26:47,480 --> 00:26:49,560 Hey... 274 00:26:53,200 --> 00:26:56,800 - What do those tears taste like? - I don't know. 275 00:27:15,760 --> 00:27:18,440 The premiere-night banquet... 276 00:27:19,480 --> 00:27:22,760 "You've served your purpose", as it were. 277 00:27:23,960 --> 00:27:29,440 "We've got our film now. So you can do what you want with the boy." 278 00:27:32,360 --> 00:27:35,080 Granny had gone to bed. 279 00:27:35,120 --> 00:27:38,880 She had placed me in their care, so to speak. 280 00:27:43,280 --> 00:27:46,000 I had no idea where we'd ended up. 281 00:27:46,040 --> 00:27:52,160 I'd never been to a nightclub, and definitely not a gay club. 282 00:27:52,200 --> 00:27:54,440 Moreover, Luchino was there. 283 00:27:56,560 --> 00:27:59,520 What I remember is... 284 00:27:59,560 --> 00:28:03,560 Hell...! Red velvet walls. Glossy black paint... 285 00:28:05,840 --> 00:28:09,240 I'd never experienced anything like that. 286 00:28:09,280 --> 00:28:13,080 Voracious looks, 287 00:28:13,120 --> 00:28:18,440 wet lips, rolling tongues... 288 00:28:21,080 --> 00:28:25,040 It felt as though, in their minds, they were giving me a blowjob. 289 00:28:27,760 --> 00:28:32,520 So I drank, drink after drink, 290 00:28:32,560 --> 00:28:36,960 whatever I could lay my hands on, just to shut it out. 291 00:28:41,040 --> 00:28:43,640 I don't remember how I got home. 292 00:28:55,240 --> 00:29:01,840 His role as Tadzio makes him famous overnight. The entire world wants him. 293 00:29:05,280 --> 00:29:08,920 But Visconti's contract with Björn ties Björn down 294 00:29:08,960 --> 00:29:12,840 to the role of the Most Beautiful Boy in the World. 295 00:29:12,880 --> 00:29:18,600 For three years, Visconti "owns" Björn's face. 296 00:29:23,520 --> 00:29:28,520 I've cut out articles on Björn from various newspapers. 297 00:29:28,760 --> 00:29:31,760 In some photos, he looks so unhappy. 298 00:29:31,800 --> 00:29:35,200 Yes, I was damned lonely. 299 00:29:35,240 --> 00:29:40,720 There were hordes of journalists - it must have been after the premiere - 300 00:29:40,760 --> 00:29:42,960 outside your door. 301 00:29:43,000 --> 00:29:47,040 Sackfuls of mail had been delivered... 302 00:29:47,080 --> 00:29:49,440 - From Japan. - Mainly Japan. 303 00:29:49,480 --> 00:29:52,840 There was mail from men, too, that were fascinated by you. 304 00:29:53,640 --> 00:29:56,440 What I remember from those days 305 00:29:56,480 --> 00:30:02,360 was the difference between Granny's excitement about the whole business... 306 00:30:02,840 --> 00:30:06,760 - Yes? - ...and your lack of excitement about it. 307 00:30:06,800 --> 00:30:09,400 She became "Björn Andrésen's Granny". 308 00:30:09,440 --> 00:30:11,640 Yes, that's certainly true. 309 00:30:15,120 --> 00:30:18,000 You used to run away from Granny's place. 310 00:30:18,040 --> 00:30:21,240 There were so many conflicts at home there. 311 00:30:22,640 --> 00:30:26,800 It was as if the film took over. 312 00:30:26,840 --> 00:30:32,560 As if you were drawn into a tornado without being able to defend yourself. 313 00:30:32,600 --> 00:30:34,720 Exactly. 314 00:30:34,760 --> 00:30:40,160 Then you went to Japan, and I don't really know what happened there. 315 00:30:40,200 --> 00:30:45,080 And after that, we never saw each other again. 316 00:30:55,760 --> 00:31:02,280 After watching Death in Venice, Visconti's film, 317 00:31:02,520 --> 00:31:08,520 everyone around me became fans of Björn. 318 00:31:08,560 --> 00:31:14,520 Everybody talked about "Björn, Björn". 319 00:31:15,880 --> 00:31:20,520 That was almost 50 years ago, half a century ago. 320 00:31:20,560 --> 00:31:25,000 Maybe it was because Westerners were still uncommon here, 321 00:31:25,040 --> 00:31:28,240 but people went wild. 322 00:31:31,560 --> 00:31:36,840 He arrives in Japan as the first idol from the West. 323 00:31:38,000 --> 00:31:42,720 All's been prepared. There are Death-in-Venice style outfits. 324 00:31:42,760 --> 00:31:46,040 Sony's leading producer has already recorded backings 325 00:31:46,080 --> 00:31:50,320 for pop numbers that Björn is to sing. And a film crew is standing by, 326 00:31:50,360 --> 00:31:54,800 waiting to use him for a commercial - his face, that is. 327 00:31:58,200 --> 00:32:01,000 I thought: "This can't be happening!" 328 00:32:01,040 --> 00:32:05,280 It's like there's this surreal membrane 329 00:32:05,520 --> 00:32:08,800 separating you from the rest of the world. 330 00:32:12,040 --> 00:32:17,960 They were on the roof with streamers and posters saying "Welcome, Björn". 331 00:32:18,000 --> 00:32:21,600 They had scissors, ready to snip off locks of my hair. 332 00:32:23,840 --> 00:32:26,480 It was like a surreal dream. 333 00:32:51,800 --> 00:32:54,600 I'm pretty bloody sure this was the lift. 334 00:32:54,640 --> 00:32:57,080 I recognise the pushbuttons. 335 00:32:57,120 --> 00:33:01,920 In 1971, touch buttons weren't in common use. 336 00:33:01,960 --> 00:33:05,480 It was definitely this lift. Okay... 337 00:33:08,280 --> 00:33:10,800 716, was that the room number? 338 00:33:27,480 --> 00:33:31,480 - Good morning. - Good morning...! 339 00:35:03,560 --> 00:35:10,760 He wasn't given any information before the shooting started. 340 00:35:13,040 --> 00:35:17,600 He had no choice but to do as he was told. 341 00:35:18,440 --> 00:35:22,600 I do feel that it was hard on him, 342 00:35:22,640 --> 00:35:29,160 but the atmosphere didn't allow us to consider how he felt about it all. 343 00:36:04,720 --> 00:36:08,840 They gave me two or three red pills... 344 00:36:10,440 --> 00:36:13,160 ...that were meant to make me feel better. 345 00:36:19,920 --> 00:36:26,200 You didn't like this situation. To pose in this way. 346 00:36:28,720 --> 00:36:35,880 In Death in Venice, Björn embodies the concept of "bishonen". 347 00:36:38,120 --> 00:36:44,000 There is a homosexual aspect to it. 348 00:36:55,080 --> 00:36:58,680 - Then there was the concert. - How many numbers did you do? 349 00:36:58,720 --> 00:37:01,880 I don't know. I got these red pills... 350 00:37:04,120 --> 00:37:08,160 - I'm really shocked. - Oh yes. This was back in 1971. 351 00:37:08,200 --> 00:37:11,120 I don't care, it's goddam child abuse. 352 00:37:11,160 --> 00:37:13,960 In my confusion I just said: "Okay..." 353 00:37:14,000 --> 00:37:17,080 - What was it? Amphetamine? - Not the foggiest. 354 00:37:17,120 --> 00:37:19,240 - Stesolid? - I've no bloody idea! 355 00:37:20,080 --> 00:37:24,920 But anyway, you're up there on stage, and they're telling you... 356 00:37:24,960 --> 00:37:28,800 Wait, I just need to absorb this. Wait! 357 00:37:28,840 --> 00:37:31,840 - I'm going too fast? - No, it's so upsetting. Wait... 358 00:37:32,560 --> 00:37:37,000 - Hey, this was nearly 50 years ago. - But it makes me sad. 359 00:37:40,880 --> 00:37:44,600 - You needn't feel sad. - But I do. It makes me sad. 360 00:37:44,640 --> 00:37:48,000 I just think it's so bloody awful. 361 00:37:56,560 --> 00:38:02,800 The first time we met, I was dazzled. I couldn't believe such a person existed. 362 00:38:02,840 --> 00:38:07,400 There was something mysterious in his expression. 363 00:38:07,440 --> 00:38:10,360 He had a brightness to him. 364 00:38:10,400 --> 00:38:14,880 But although he was only a teenager, I could also sense a dark side. 365 00:38:15,600 --> 00:38:20,520 It gave him a three-dimensional appeal. I remember how it really attracted me. 366 00:38:20,560 --> 00:38:24,520 He was the original idol. He started the whole idol culture. 367 00:38:27,440 --> 00:38:34,480 He had this dark side too, although he was acknowledged by Visconti. 368 00:38:34,520 --> 00:38:37,920 That was an asset for Björn, at the same time a burden to him. 369 00:38:38,520 --> 00:38:42,800 There are actors like that in Japan, who had Kurosawa's recognition 370 00:38:42,840 --> 00:38:46,640 and suffered throughout their careers due to it. 371 00:38:47,880 --> 00:38:54,720 This may sound exaggerated, but one could call it his fate. 372 00:38:56,440 --> 00:39:01,440 So, we told him that we'd really love to cut a record with him. 373 00:39:03,200 --> 00:39:10,360 I was born for love 374 00:39:10,400 --> 00:39:15,200 Upon that day there I was 375 00:39:15,240 --> 00:39:18,480 Japanese is not an easy language. 376 00:39:18,520 --> 00:39:23,520 Yet he had a great ear and soon learned to sing Japanese naturally. 377 00:39:26,520 --> 00:39:31,200 Why do the world's flowers blossom when we are together? 378 00:39:31,680 --> 00:39:37,560 Sony wanted to use one of the songs for a Japanese commercial. 379 00:39:40,080 --> 00:39:45,080 For you who cried... 380 00:39:50,400 --> 00:39:52,920 The heart beats. 381 00:39:52,960 --> 00:39:55,880 Love awakens. 382 00:39:56,840 --> 00:40:00,240 Meiji Chocolate. Excel! 383 00:40:06,840 --> 00:40:11,840 A stirring in my heart 384 00:40:13,080 --> 00:40:19,440 had me feeling this love 385 00:40:19,480 --> 00:40:25,000 Nonetheless it was pure 386 00:40:26,000 --> 00:40:31,000 For you who cried those sweet tears 387 00:40:53,200 --> 00:40:55,400 Jessica! 388 00:41:02,000 --> 00:41:03,680 - Jessica? - Yes? 389 00:41:04,680 --> 00:41:06,520 What's the time? 390 00:41:07,320 --> 00:41:11,200 - You need to get up. - Jess... 391 00:41:12,560 --> 00:41:14,520 Jessica... 392 00:41:16,880 --> 00:41:18,680 Jessica! 393 00:41:18,720 --> 00:41:23,880 - Was it at eleven...or twelve? - Eleven. 394 00:41:25,480 --> 00:41:27,640 It's quarter past. 395 00:41:44,480 --> 00:41:49,520 When it comes to shojo manga, comics for girls, 396 00:41:49,560 --> 00:41:53,960 a beautiful face is the most important thing. 397 00:41:54,000 --> 00:41:58,160 When the film was released, 398 00:41:58,400 --> 00:42:04,080 I was amazed to find out that such a person even existed. 399 00:42:04,120 --> 00:42:09,960 I couldn't believe that anyone could be that beautiful. 400 00:42:10,200 --> 00:42:15,080 A human is born, they grow up and there is a moment in their life 401 00:42:15,120 --> 00:42:17,920 when their beauty is in full bloom. 402 00:42:17,960 --> 00:42:22,880 This film managed to catch him, 403 00:42:22,920 --> 00:42:27,640 in that exact moment when he was at the most beautiful he would ever be. 404 00:42:34,640 --> 00:42:37,560 Good afternoon. Nice to meet you. 405 00:42:40,720 --> 00:42:46,160 Björn's face was to inspire a whole generation of manga cartoonists. 406 00:42:46,200 --> 00:42:51,040 In 1971, Riyoko Ikeda was a young, radical feminist. 407 00:42:51,080 --> 00:42:55,320 She became one of Japan's greatest manga artists. 408 00:42:58,320 --> 00:43:02,480 I think all we manga artists are inspired by him on a deeper level. 409 00:43:02,520 --> 00:43:07,080 Each one of us, but in different ways. 410 00:43:07,760 --> 00:43:12,160 Lady Oscar in my manga, "The Rose of Versailles", 411 00:43:12,400 --> 00:43:16,520 is a girl who dresses as a boy. 412 00:43:16,560 --> 00:43:23,520 The character is entirely based on Björn. He was the model. 413 00:43:23,560 --> 00:43:30,200 I've been drawing it for forty or forty-five years. 414 00:43:30,240 --> 00:43:34,080 Do that, André. I don't want anything to happen to you. 415 00:43:35,360 --> 00:43:37,840 I'm going, Oscar. 416 00:43:38,400 --> 00:43:43,720 If to love is to suffer let me suffer 417 00:43:43,760 --> 00:43:49,360 until the day you understand 418 00:43:49,400 --> 00:43:54,040 and realise how I feel 419 00:43:55,320 --> 00:44:00,120 You're the light and I'm the shadow... 420 00:44:00,160 --> 00:44:06,480 There is a kind of sadness in his face. 421 00:44:06,520 --> 00:44:11,480 All we did see was the appearance of Björn Andrésen. 422 00:44:11,520 --> 00:44:16,960 So I always wondered if our perception of him... 423 00:44:17,000 --> 00:44:22,000 ...actually hurt him. 424 00:44:22,040 --> 00:44:27,840 But now I feel that we also saw his inner self. 425 00:47:44,640 --> 00:47:48,280 I have never seen myself as an actor. 426 00:47:48,320 --> 00:47:52,160 Things have just happened. 427 00:48:00,720 --> 00:48:04,600 I went to drama school. I got a lot of casting, once I'd left - 428 00:48:04,640 --> 00:48:07,560 good film parts, TV work, stage work. 429 00:48:09,360 --> 00:48:16,560 Everything went well in terms of my career. But it didn't help me... 430 00:48:17,480 --> 00:48:20,200 ...with my inner darkness. 431 00:49:14,600 --> 00:49:18,040 I don't think anyone has ever watched this. 432 00:49:30,360 --> 00:49:33,080 I remember the last time I saw her. 433 00:49:37,760 --> 00:49:40,760 She must have got off the number 10 tram. 434 00:49:43,320 --> 00:49:47,200 We were on our way to school one day and there she stood, waving away. 435 00:49:47,440 --> 00:49:50,960 We waved back. And she waved. 436 00:49:51,000 --> 00:49:54,560 And we waved back. Even at that point, I thought: 437 00:49:54,600 --> 00:49:57,920 "This is the last time I'll ever see her." 438 00:50:02,560 --> 00:50:05,680 People were wondering where Barbro had got to. 439 00:50:05,720 --> 00:50:09,200 Someone would say: "She's become a nun." 440 00:50:09,240 --> 00:50:14,760 Or: "She's gone abroad." Stuff like that. 441 00:50:17,720 --> 00:50:21,040 Anything but the truth. 442 00:50:29,920 --> 00:50:33,720 Here, Mum has disappeared. She hasn't been found yet. 443 00:50:35,240 --> 00:50:42,840 It was our teacher, Lisbeth Axelsson, at Adolf Fredrik's Music School who wrote: 444 00:50:44,120 --> 00:50:50,040 "Björn Andrésen has much difficulty concentrating and is very talkative. 445 00:50:50,080 --> 00:50:54,440 "To some extent, the same applies to Annike. Grateful for help." 446 00:50:55,720 --> 00:50:57,920 I think it was because... 447 00:50:59,080 --> 00:51:04,320 ...we were deeply affected... 448 00:51:05,520 --> 00:51:10,560 ...obviously, by Mum's disappearance, and we didn't know what had happened. 449 00:51:18,480 --> 00:51:23,000 We were both of us born in 1955. 450 00:51:23,040 --> 00:51:26,520 You were born in January, and I was born in December. 451 00:51:26,560 --> 00:51:29,960 We have the same mother, but different fathers. 452 00:51:30,000 --> 00:51:33,720 In Denmark, they call that "semi twins". 453 00:51:33,760 --> 00:51:39,040 Throughout our childhood you and I were closer 454 00:51:39,080 --> 00:51:43,400 than I was to any friend or you were to any of your friends. 455 00:51:43,440 --> 00:51:45,920 We were really close. 456 00:51:45,960 --> 00:51:50,000 I don't ever remember being without you. It was always just the two of us. 457 00:52:05,680 --> 00:52:10,040 I remember one day the doorbell ringing at Granny and Grandpa's house. 458 00:52:10,080 --> 00:52:15,320 I went out. I think you were there too. Two policemen were standing there. 459 00:52:15,360 --> 00:52:17,600 And they told us... 460 00:52:18,600 --> 00:52:21,520 They had found Mum dead in the woods. 461 00:52:29,040 --> 00:52:34,600 And ever since, since that day, since that hour, 462 00:52:34,640 --> 00:52:40,040 no one ever mentioned Mum again. Not a single word was said about her. 463 00:52:40,960 --> 00:52:46,920 Nobody ever spoke to me, or as I remember it, to us, about Mum - 464 00:52:46,960 --> 00:52:51,480 about her having died, her having existed at all, or about how we were feeling. 465 00:52:51,520 --> 00:52:54,960 Not a single word, ever. 466 00:53:07,920 --> 00:53:10,320 She was a seeker. 467 00:53:12,240 --> 00:53:15,560 A bohemian, an artistic soul, as they say. 468 00:53:16,200 --> 00:53:22,640 She was a photographer, she wrote poetry, she painted, she was a journalist. 469 00:53:22,680 --> 00:53:25,880 She had an art gallery... 470 00:53:25,920 --> 00:53:30,240 And, added to all that, she even did modelling for Dior! 471 00:53:32,720 --> 00:53:38,480 She took my sister and me on a year-long trip through Europe 472 00:53:38,520 --> 00:53:41,640 before we'd even started going to school. 473 00:53:41,680 --> 00:53:45,560 And her woman chum came too - Silva. 474 00:53:51,400 --> 00:53:57,280 Mum's biggest secret was who Björn's father was. 475 00:53:57,320 --> 00:54:00,720 That was something she kept secret. 476 00:54:05,080 --> 00:54:09,880 Did Mum ever mention anything 477 00:54:09,920 --> 00:54:14,640 about anyone who might have been my dad? Because I still don't know. 478 00:54:14,680 --> 00:54:18,640 - You still don't know? Oh, dear! - "Oh, dear"? 479 00:54:18,680 --> 00:54:21,680 - Just forget about it! - I see... 480 00:54:21,720 --> 00:54:25,000 - I'm just to forget about it? - Yes, I think so. 481 00:54:25,040 --> 00:54:29,000 - But it's an interesting subject. - Right. 482 00:54:29,040 --> 00:54:35,360 - Yet she never told you about him? - No, not about who it was. Unfortunately. 483 00:54:36,760 --> 00:54:38,000 I see... 484 00:54:40,960 --> 00:54:42,920 Right.... 485 00:54:51,920 --> 00:54:54,320 - Hi, Björn! - Hello there. 486 00:54:54,360 --> 00:54:57,040 Hang on - I'll just put my coffee in the microwave. 487 00:54:57,760 --> 00:55:03,440 - How did it go last night? - Fine. I went on my own. 488 00:55:03,480 --> 00:55:06,680 And... What about Peter? 489 00:55:07,560 --> 00:55:09,840 - Sorry? - What about Peter? 490 00:55:09,880 --> 00:55:14,960 - Peter who? - You wrote about someone called Peter. 491 00:55:16,640 --> 00:55:18,800 - Peter...? - Yeah. 492 00:55:18,840 --> 00:55:21,840 Who "appreciates your company". 493 00:55:22,600 --> 00:55:25,600 - Oh, you mean Peter Dixon! - Okay. 494 00:55:25,640 --> 00:55:30,080 We were at the Carmen restaurant a few days ago. At least he appreciates me. 495 00:55:30,120 --> 00:55:34,480 You didn't want to hang out with me, so I hang out with my friends instead. 496 00:55:34,520 --> 00:55:37,160 - Mm. - Shouldn't I? 497 00:55:38,560 --> 00:55:42,240 I'm not sure. You write that there's a new man in your life. 498 00:55:42,480 --> 00:55:49,000 Right. I'm wondering if I should go for that. Or is it we that should? 499 00:55:49,040 --> 00:55:52,200 There is someone else and he's serious about me. 500 00:55:52,440 --> 00:55:58,240 So, should I let that chance go while you're acting the paranoid geezer? 501 00:55:58,480 --> 00:56:04,200 You shield the entry code so I won't see when we're on the far side of the planet. 502 00:56:04,440 --> 00:56:09,280 And we bath together in the same tub. I file your nails for you. We share a bed. 503 00:56:09,320 --> 00:56:13,320 We touch each other's bodies, yet you still keep your entry code secret. 504 00:56:13,360 --> 00:56:16,040 So I wonder if you're the right man for me, 505 00:56:16,080 --> 00:56:20,200 when there's another man who really wants me. 506 00:56:20,440 --> 00:56:23,720 So, should I really go for you? That's my big question. 507 00:56:23,760 --> 00:56:26,880 Especially when you behave like a damn pig! 508 00:56:26,920 --> 00:56:32,040 - In what way have I behaved like a pig? - In what way? You are a pig, Björn! 509 00:56:32,080 --> 00:56:37,440 You were a pig in Japan. Always using my phone. Not paying for anything. 510 00:56:37,480 --> 00:56:41,400 Keeping me more or less under house arrest in the hotel room for two days. 511 00:56:41,440 --> 00:56:46,440 - Wait a minute, none of this... - Not even giving me your entry code! 512 00:56:46,480 --> 00:56:52,320 I have done so much for you, you ungrateful bloody bastard! 513 00:56:53,080 --> 00:56:55,240 Okay... 514 00:57:08,240 --> 00:57:11,000 Okay, how am I to sort this out? 515 00:57:40,560 --> 00:57:45,920 All children born out of wedlock after 1917 516 00:57:45,960 --> 00:57:50,920 were allocated a child welfare officer, who was most often a woman. 517 00:57:50,960 --> 00:57:55,240 These officers were meant to support the unmarried mother 518 00:57:55,480 --> 00:58:00,000 and also help establish who the father was. 519 00:58:00,040 --> 00:58:03,200 This is the file on you. 520 00:58:03,240 --> 00:58:08,200 We have another file, too, from police records this time. 521 00:58:08,440 --> 00:58:13,200 It's about your mother's disappearance. 522 00:58:13,240 --> 00:58:16,080 - Okay. All right. - Yes. 523 00:58:17,200 --> 00:58:21,120 It can be somewhat tough to read, naturally. 524 00:58:21,160 --> 00:58:25,200 So it's up to you if you want to look at it now 525 00:58:25,240 --> 00:58:29,280 or have copies made, to read in the peace and quiet of your own home. 526 00:58:29,320 --> 00:58:33,200 In police investigation records like these 527 00:58:33,440 --> 00:58:36,880 there are often photographs - 528 00:58:36,920 --> 00:58:40,240 for example here, shots of the scene where your mother was found. 529 00:58:40,480 --> 00:58:43,520 I've removed them for the time being 530 00:58:43,560 --> 00:58:47,040 as I don't want them suddenly to confront you. 531 00:58:47,080 --> 00:58:50,320 That's very considerate of you. 532 00:58:50,360 --> 00:58:53,280 They do exist, but I've kept them separate. 533 00:58:53,320 --> 00:58:56,160 So, this is text describing things. 534 00:59:14,040 --> 00:59:16,600 Post-mortem... 535 00:59:19,560 --> 00:59:22,240 DEATH CERTIFICATE 536 01:00:05,080 --> 01:00:09,800 I've seen all this in my mind's eye ever since that day. 537 01:00:09,840 --> 01:00:12,520 But this is too explicit. 538 01:00:36,200 --> 01:00:40,520 - Would you show me out, please? - Of course. 539 01:01:19,520 --> 01:01:25,920 "On Monday, 2 May 1966, at 19:30 hrs, it was reported 540 01:01:25,960 --> 01:01:32,680 "that the body of a female had been found in the woodlands near Stene Farm" 541 01:01:35,760 --> 01:01:38,640 "She was concealed under dense fir foliage 542 01:01:38,680 --> 01:01:42,680 "lying on her right side, her head on a root. 543 01:01:43,560 --> 01:01:45,240 "Her head was bare. 544 01:01:45,480 --> 01:01:50,920 "However, for protection she had pulled her coat collar up over her head." 545 01:01:50,960 --> 01:01:55,200 "Documents in the handbag identified the woman 546 01:01:55,240 --> 01:01:59,280 "as Mrs Barbro Elisabeth Andrésen, 547 01:01:59,320 --> 01:02:03,080 "reported missing since October last year." 548 01:02:03,960 --> 01:02:06,800 17 October, 1962. 549 01:02:06,840 --> 01:02:08,720 SECRET... 550 01:02:08,760 --> 01:02:11,040 - Auntie here. - Hello? 551 01:02:11,080 --> 01:02:14,400 Is Annike coming over to see me on Saturday? 552 01:02:19,680 --> 01:02:23,160 Don't you think they should come over? 553 01:02:24,080 --> 01:02:27,200 You call me and ask: "How are you?" 554 01:02:27,240 --> 01:02:31,200 And: "Are the children asleep, or maybe out somewhere?" 555 01:02:31,240 --> 01:02:34,120 - And: "Could I speak to them?" - Yes? 556 01:02:35,240 --> 01:02:39,880 You could just as well speak to me, right? 557 01:02:39,920 --> 01:02:44,040 You brood too much about things. Don't complicate it all. 558 01:02:44,080 --> 01:02:48,640 - That's a ridiculous thing to say. - Saying what? 559 01:02:48,680 --> 01:02:53,520 It doesn't work like that! I can only be the way I am. 560 01:02:53,560 --> 01:02:57,200 And when people don't allow me to be myself... 561 01:02:57,240 --> 01:03:02,720 - ...it makes me strange and "wrong". - Who doesn't allow you? 562 01:03:02,760 --> 01:03:05,520 You, for example, don't let me be myself. 563 01:03:05,560 --> 01:03:10,920 - You want me to be a certain way. - I don't see what you mean at all. 564 01:03:12,920 --> 01:03:17,520 I really don't understand you today. Not at all. 565 01:03:22,160 --> 01:03:25,000 - Shall we hang up then? - Might as well. 566 01:03:25,040 --> 01:03:27,440 Okay. Bye. 567 01:03:48,640 --> 01:03:53,040 "Be still, no more harsh words. 568 01:03:53,080 --> 01:03:57,480 "There's not much left of me. Don't cry over me. 569 01:03:57,520 --> 01:04:02,960 "There's no longer any fire to put out. Don't look at me. 570 01:04:03,000 --> 01:04:07,880 "I'm about to crumble. I'll fall apart at any moment. 571 01:04:07,920 --> 01:04:11,240 "I don't want you to see me fall apart. 572 01:04:11,760 --> 01:04:17,240 "Don't cry for me. There's no fire left to put out now. 573 01:04:18,160 --> 01:04:22,040 "I've given away all I ever had. 574 01:04:22,080 --> 01:04:25,000 "I haven't kept anything to live by. 575 01:04:25,040 --> 01:04:29,640 "That's why I'm becoming more and more invisible. 576 01:04:29,680 --> 01:04:36,040 "But I'm not going to die. What remains: a door. 577 01:04:36,080 --> 01:04:41,280 "What else can I do but leave a room within myself? 578 01:04:41,320 --> 01:04:45,600 "I don't die, I just disappear. 579 01:04:45,640 --> 01:04:51,880 "Perhaps, my worry - I'll reawaken to certainty and doubt. 580 01:04:51,920 --> 01:04:56,000 "Then I will return, to look for you." 581 01:05:07,480 --> 01:05:14,040 That was probably, in a sense, her farewell letter. 582 01:05:53,880 --> 01:05:55,880 She sat in her room 583 01:05:55,920 --> 01:06:00,840 with a bottle of cheap red wine and a packet of Chesterfield in front of her. 584 01:06:00,880 --> 01:06:03,000 She chain-smoked. 585 01:06:03,040 --> 01:06:07,560 She just sat there in silence, staring out of the window, into the night. 586 01:06:10,040 --> 01:06:14,560 I can recall standing behind her. 587 01:06:14,600 --> 01:06:17,880 I remember thinking: 588 01:06:17,920 --> 01:06:20,600 "When I grow up, I'm going to save Mum." 589 01:06:37,520 --> 01:06:41,080 We don't see each other when he's... 590 01:06:42,920 --> 01:06:44,960 ...at his lowest. 591 01:06:46,960 --> 01:06:49,520 When I was a child, 592 01:06:49,560 --> 01:06:54,160 there were long periods when he didn't answer the phone. 593 01:06:54,200 --> 01:06:59,040 Though now that I'm older, he might pick up. 594 01:06:59,080 --> 01:07:02,680 But he'll tell me it's "not a good time at the moment". 595 01:07:03,880 --> 01:07:09,200 There are details about Dad's life that a child shouldn't be aware of. 596 01:07:09,440 --> 01:07:14,640 And when I was 14, or so, 597 01:07:14,680 --> 01:07:21,960 Dad started to open this door a little, and he told me things. 598 01:07:22,000 --> 01:07:25,520 I think it was around that time 599 01:07:25,560 --> 01:07:29,000 that I found out more about the Death in Venice film. 600 01:07:29,440 --> 01:07:36,360 I think a lot has to do with his mum's death. 601 01:07:39,360 --> 01:07:44,000 It makes you wonder... If she'd been alive, functioning normally, 602 01:07:44,040 --> 01:07:45,720 how would...? 603 01:07:46,720 --> 01:07:52,320 The whole Death in Venice experience probably wouldn't have hit him as hard, 604 01:07:52,360 --> 01:07:58,760 if he'd had a mum or dad he could trust - someone there for him. 605 01:08:00,000 --> 01:08:07,000 In theory, he's an amazing dad. But in practice, it just doesn't work. 606 01:08:07,040 --> 01:08:10,160 I wanted him to be there, 607 01:08:10,200 --> 01:08:15,480 to love me and play with me, the whole time, 608 01:08:15,520 --> 01:08:19,240 like any daughter would want her dad to be. 609 01:08:22,600 --> 01:08:27,560 Actually, at one juncture you seemed to have disappeared. 610 01:08:27,600 --> 01:08:30,600 We even thought you might be dead at one point. 611 01:08:34,240 --> 01:08:38,360 Today, we take great pleasure in welcoming Björn Andrésen 612 01:08:38,400 --> 01:08:41,720 for an exclusive interview for our French audience. 613 01:08:41,760 --> 01:08:47,680 You might remember him as the guy who incarnated the young Tadzio, 614 01:08:47,720 --> 01:08:51,200 in Luchino Visconti's famous film Death in Venice. 615 01:08:51,240 --> 01:08:55,240 To us, it was an almost mythical character. 616 01:08:55,280 --> 01:09:00,560 In our memories, we retain the image of this magnificent young teenage boy. 617 01:09:01,320 --> 01:09:08,640 At that point, did it contribute to a different relationship with men? 618 01:09:09,680 --> 01:09:12,480 - From my side? - Yes. 619 01:09:12,520 --> 01:09:17,240 Like the gay community, for example. Did you feel they were interested in you? 620 01:09:17,280 --> 01:09:20,520 - That they looked at you... - Oh, yes. 621 01:09:20,560 --> 01:09:26,400 That you became this myth, this symbol of male beauty. 622 01:09:26,440 --> 01:09:29,200 Well, let me start... 623 01:09:30,800 --> 01:09:34,720 What's the question? If there was any change, before or after? 624 01:09:34,760 --> 01:09:37,600 Because the gay community... 625 01:09:37,960 --> 01:09:41,880 It started there. I mean, I've been quite... 626 01:09:44,720 --> 01:09:50,360 I came here in 1976 to do a film. 627 01:09:50,400 --> 01:09:53,320 It came to nothing, but I stayed for a year. 628 01:09:53,360 --> 01:09:58,600 A Monsieur Durant, among others, paid for everything. 629 01:09:59,640 --> 01:10:04,240 He'd found me an apartment on Rue de Seine, everything arranged. 630 01:10:04,280 --> 01:10:06,560 He paid for it all. 631 01:10:07,240 --> 01:10:09,560 I must have been bloody naive, 632 01:10:09,600 --> 01:10:13,720 because it was sort of like: "Wow! Everyone's so nice." 633 01:10:20,960 --> 01:10:27,240 I received these really long, long, long love poems. 634 01:10:27,280 --> 01:10:29,960 Like "Björn, je t'aime", you know. 635 01:10:31,480 --> 01:10:35,560 Expensive lunches, expensive dinners, gifts. 636 01:10:35,600 --> 01:10:38,760 They all had really fat wallets. 637 01:10:40,840 --> 01:10:45,920 I don't think they treated me out of the kindness of a bleeding heart. 638 01:10:45,960 --> 01:10:48,480 It was rather a sense of being... 639 01:10:50,000 --> 01:10:54,320 I felt like some kind of wandering trophy. 640 01:10:55,800 --> 01:11:00,840 I was thinking, if you're in Paris for that long and they support you... 641 01:11:00,880 --> 01:11:06,400 Did you get any money? How often did you meet? 642 01:11:06,440 --> 01:11:10,960 - Money? I got weekly pocket money. - No! You're joking! 643 01:11:11,000 --> 01:11:14,240 - 500 francs. - No! 644 01:11:14,280 --> 01:11:17,680 500 francs a week in 1976? 645 01:11:18,240 --> 01:11:22,320 - About that, yes. - Do you realise how much that was? 646 01:11:23,200 --> 01:11:27,280 Maybe you were a little mascot, someone cool to be seen with - 647 01:11:27,320 --> 01:11:29,720 at Maxim's and the Lido. 648 01:11:29,760 --> 01:11:34,080 - The most beautiful boy in the world. - Yes, "le petit garçon de Mort à Venise." 649 01:11:34,120 --> 01:11:38,960 I was a sex object, or an object anyway. Big game. 650 01:11:39,880 --> 01:11:43,080 They paid for your company, as it were. 651 01:11:43,120 --> 01:11:46,800 For God's sake - I never had any money of my own, 652 01:11:46,840 --> 01:11:50,320 at least not when I was travelling round the world. 653 01:11:51,320 --> 01:11:54,200 It was so into my own ego. 654 01:11:54,240 --> 01:11:59,560 If I'd known then what I know today, I'd have said no to Paris. 655 01:12:09,160 --> 01:12:13,000 But it's of major importance, Björn... 656 01:12:15,120 --> 01:12:19,920 ...in terms of who you are today and of how you see yourself, 657 01:12:19,960 --> 01:12:22,800 and of those shattered dreams, 658 01:12:22,840 --> 01:12:26,920 and of what didn't happen, and what did. 659 01:12:28,000 --> 01:12:31,480 You're not an uncomplicated person, Björn. 660 01:12:34,880 --> 01:12:38,080 Tu es très compliqué. 661 01:12:45,320 --> 01:12:47,680 Beloved Björn... 662 01:12:51,160 --> 01:12:55,920 - The love of my life. - Do I deserve to be? 663 01:12:56,360 --> 01:12:58,520 You do. 664 01:14:00,080 --> 01:14:02,840 -Hi! -Hello, sweetie. 665 01:14:04,760 --> 01:14:07,840 - How are things? - Same as usual. 666 01:14:07,880 --> 01:14:11,200 Same as usual? Up or down? 667 01:14:11,240 --> 01:14:15,320 In need of a pee, scared of trains, lacking in strength. 668 01:14:15,360 --> 01:14:18,040 - A little... - That sounds familiar. 669 01:14:18,080 --> 01:14:22,840 Do you realise it's eleven years, this December, since I was last here? 670 01:14:22,880 --> 01:14:25,360 Don't say that! 671 01:14:26,800 --> 01:14:31,840 Has it really been that long? I mean, this place looked... 672 01:14:31,880 --> 01:14:34,920 I haven't had anyone visiting. 673 01:14:34,960 --> 01:14:37,920 Not until just over a year ago, 674 01:14:37,960 --> 01:14:42,320 when Jessica helped me clean the place up. 675 01:14:48,960 --> 01:14:51,480 All squeezed together! 676 01:14:55,120 --> 01:15:00,200 - Right, "the ugliest baby in the world." - Is it in here, under "Births"? 677 01:15:02,520 --> 01:15:04,560 - There it is! - Yup. 678 01:15:05,560 --> 01:15:09,360 "The ugliest baby in the world, our wonderful daughter." 679 01:15:10,600 --> 01:15:12,120 Thanks! 680 01:15:14,880 --> 01:15:17,280 You're content there. 681 01:15:20,680 --> 01:15:26,480 Becoming a father was the scariest thing ever. What are fathers supposed to do? 682 01:15:27,960 --> 01:15:34,680 I'd got into drama school a few months earlier. 683 01:15:38,360 --> 01:15:41,520 I felt I had to do the best I possibly could. 684 01:15:41,560 --> 01:15:44,840 And my biggest wish was 685 01:15:44,880 --> 01:15:51,240 that you wouldn't have to go through what I went through as a child. 686 01:15:52,680 --> 01:15:57,120 For a family to work, you need to be two people. 687 01:15:57,640 --> 01:16:02,040 That's where it fell apart. Too much alcohol and... 688 01:16:02,080 --> 01:16:06,840 But I think I'm a healthier adult 689 01:16:06,880 --> 01:16:10,320 due to your living apart, than if you'd lived together. 690 01:16:15,200 --> 01:16:18,120 - Elvin's arrived here. - Yes. 691 01:16:18,160 --> 01:16:21,040 That's when we became "the Good family". 692 01:16:21,080 --> 01:16:23,560 - We became "the Good family"? - Yes. 693 01:16:25,960 --> 01:16:32,240 When I was a child, even into my teens, you often said, very often: 694 01:16:32,280 --> 01:16:37,640 "If there's ever anything you want to know, just ask me." 695 01:16:37,680 --> 01:16:41,280 When you were drunk, too... It was so cryptic - 696 01:16:41,320 --> 01:16:44,760 I never knew what questions you meant. 697 01:16:45,240 --> 01:16:49,760 Was it that you wanted me to know what had happened? 698 01:16:50,680 --> 01:16:53,560 I didn't want you to be lonely. 699 01:16:54,800 --> 01:16:58,920 Also, whatever you wanted to know... 700 01:17:01,120 --> 01:17:08,560 ...I'd tell you, if not the truth, then at least my side of the story. 701 01:17:10,720 --> 01:17:13,320 You're so beautiful! 702 01:17:18,920 --> 01:17:21,400 Sorry. Big boys don't cry. 703 01:17:21,440 --> 01:17:26,520 You cry almost every time I see you. Something always moves you. 704 01:17:26,560 --> 01:17:31,000 - Yes, I'm a sensitive bugger. - Yes, be one then! 705 01:17:34,440 --> 01:17:36,880 - What said I? - "What said I?" 706 01:17:38,560 --> 01:17:41,200 Do you know something, Mummy? 707 01:17:41,920 --> 01:17:47,880 Elvin died. He's in the flowers. In the sky. 708 01:17:47,920 --> 01:17:50,520 In the picture. 709 01:17:50,560 --> 01:17:53,920 In the Lego. 710 01:17:56,080 --> 01:17:58,560 And it all happened at once. 711 01:18:00,920 --> 01:18:03,920 - Do you find it hard? - Mm-hmm. 712 01:18:05,000 --> 01:18:08,960 - I took your knife. - Yes, you did. 713 01:18:11,080 --> 01:18:13,880 "And it all happened at once." 714 01:18:16,680 --> 01:18:23,320 It was 11 August, 1987, the day after Robine's third birthday. 715 01:18:24,200 --> 01:18:27,240 Almost three months after Elvin died. 716 01:18:37,360 --> 01:18:40,680 I'd been out. 717 01:18:40,720 --> 01:18:43,080 It was 17 May. 718 01:18:45,080 --> 01:18:50,520 I'd had a late night out, and I come home, and I fall asleep. 719 01:18:53,600 --> 01:18:59,400 She's taking Robine to kindergarten. 720 01:18:59,440 --> 01:19:03,440 And she lays him next to me in bed. 721 01:19:04,920 --> 01:19:10,040 I've had far, far too little sleep. 722 01:19:10,080 --> 01:19:13,160 And I'm as drunk as hell. 723 01:19:21,920 --> 01:19:26,480 He's lying next to me, and I fall asleep. 724 01:19:28,920 --> 01:19:31,520 Passed out. 725 01:19:32,720 --> 01:19:38,240 I'm woken up by a scream, and it's her. 726 01:19:47,360 --> 01:19:51,160 I can see him lying there. His lips are blue. 727 01:19:53,560 --> 01:19:59,000 Then we desperately, and in vain, try to... 728 01:20:03,360 --> 01:20:05,200 ...resuscitate him. 729 01:20:13,640 --> 01:20:18,960 Their diagnosis is sudden infant death syndrome. 730 01:20:20,000 --> 01:20:23,320 But my diagnosis is lack of love. 731 01:20:28,360 --> 01:20:32,320 I wasn't up to it. And he had to take far too much responsibility. 732 01:20:32,360 --> 01:20:38,560 On his tiny shoulders, he bore the whole of our family's happiness. 733 01:20:41,880 --> 01:20:44,520 But things gave way, with him. 734 01:21:00,280 --> 01:21:07,120 Robine didn't only lose her little brother. She lost her father as well. 735 01:21:08,200 --> 01:21:12,800 I descended into depression and alcohol. 736 01:21:14,520 --> 01:21:16,240 Self-destruction... 737 01:21:17,560 --> 01:21:20,440 ...in all ways imaginable. 738 01:21:20,480 --> 01:21:25,680 It was an ego trip. "Poor me, me, me" - I, me, mine. 739 01:21:28,640 --> 01:21:31,480 And then you're back to being a child. 740 01:21:36,560 --> 01:21:38,800 A child can't look after a child. 741 01:21:44,760 --> 01:21:48,360 We had eight months together. 742 01:22:01,680 --> 01:22:04,480 He would have been... How old? 743 01:22:04,520 --> 01:22:07,480 He would have been 32 today. 744 01:22:11,200 --> 01:22:13,560 I wonder how he'd have sounded... 745 01:22:16,560 --> 01:22:19,880 ...what kind of voice he would've had. 746 01:22:24,080 --> 01:22:26,520 What about his expression? 747 01:22:30,720 --> 01:22:36,000 And that would all have depended on how I'd acted as a father. 748 01:22:39,600 --> 01:22:42,520 Because he was my boy. 749 01:22:48,600 --> 01:22:51,480 But the fact is, I wasn't there. 750 01:22:51,520 --> 01:22:57,520 If I hadn't gone out, if I'd behaved like an adult instead, he would be alive. 751 01:22:57,560 --> 01:23:02,880 If I'd taken my responsibility seriously, he'd still be alive today. 752 01:23:06,480 --> 01:23:09,840 But everything was wrong from the start. 753 01:23:09,880 --> 01:23:13,720 My life. Her life. 754 01:23:15,920 --> 01:23:18,800 What's really insane is that you get used to it. 755 01:23:20,560 --> 01:23:23,280 You don't expect... 756 01:23:24,480 --> 01:23:27,280 ...that much from life. 757 01:23:28,200 --> 01:23:32,560 I don't really know how to express it. When you've lost so much, 758 01:23:32,600 --> 01:23:39,360 it somehow, in its own special way, makes life easier to live. 759 01:23:42,680 --> 01:23:46,560 Okay - I missed this, I lost that. Okay. 760 01:23:47,960 --> 01:23:49,920 I've lost so much else. 761 01:24:12,920 --> 01:24:17,520 Elvin: 3 months. Robine: 2 years, 4 months. 762 01:24:17,560 --> 01:24:22,720 Sanna: 24 years, 9 months. Björn: 31 years, 11 months. 763 01:24:44,920 --> 01:24:47,240 Have you ever lain on the grass 764 01:24:47,280 --> 01:24:51,440 and imagined you're not looking into space, 765 01:24:51,480 --> 01:24:55,880 but you're observing what's down below? 766 01:25:00,960 --> 01:25:04,080 It's a pretty awe-inspiring feeling. 767 01:25:04,120 --> 01:25:09,680 I mean, when we look up at the stars, what direction are we looking in? 768 01:25:09,720 --> 01:25:16,120 Are we looking outwards, inwards, upwards, or downwards? 769 01:25:26,880 --> 01:25:30,560 I mean, I'm still around, I'm sitting here, 770 01:25:30,600 --> 01:25:36,160 and everything worldly is extremely uncertain 771 01:25:36,200 --> 01:25:38,640 unless one has one's faith. 772 01:25:52,360 --> 01:25:57,880 When I look at the screen test, 773 01:25:57,920 --> 01:26:01,080 shot at his audition for Death in Venice, 774 01:26:01,600 --> 01:26:04,320 I find it painful. 775 01:26:04,360 --> 01:26:10,280 I can deal with what it all resulted in, and with the person he's become today. 776 01:26:10,320 --> 01:26:18,320 But witnessing it there on film - that crucial turning point... 777 01:26:18,360 --> 01:26:23,320 When I see how very ill at ease he feels, 778 01:26:23,360 --> 01:26:27,120 and, knowing things that other people watching this don't know, 779 01:26:27,160 --> 01:26:29,600 about the person he is... 780 01:26:29,640 --> 01:26:34,040 We're talking about an incredibly sensitive boy, really shy, 781 01:26:34,080 --> 01:26:36,720 who doesn't even want to be there. 782 01:26:36,760 --> 01:26:41,840 Then he's suddenly supposed to pose without his shirt. 783 01:26:41,880 --> 01:26:44,480 Nudity to him isn't... 784 01:26:46,600 --> 01:26:49,880 He doesn't want to be naked, doesn't want to take his clothes off. 785 01:26:49,920 --> 01:26:52,640 That was painful to watch. 786 01:26:52,680 --> 01:26:57,800 That's where I want to go back in time and ask his granny what she's up to: 787 01:26:57,840 --> 01:27:01,080 "Stop it! Leave the lad alone." 788 01:27:02,640 --> 01:27:05,880 It's wrong. You don't do that to children. 789 01:27:33,080 --> 01:27:35,760 Tadzio...? Tadzio! 790 01:28:09,600 --> 01:28:13,680 "Be still, no more harsh words. 791 01:28:14,840 --> 01:28:17,640 "There's not much left of me. 792 01:28:21,000 --> 01:28:24,200 "Don't cry over me. 793 01:28:24,240 --> 01:28:27,720 "There's no longer any fire to put out. 794 01:28:29,560 --> 01:28:35,280 "I no longer have a sense of what I am and what I'm not. 795 01:28:38,600 --> 01:28:43,200 "I look around. Is that me? 796 01:28:44,120 --> 01:28:45,640 "Or that?" 797 01:28:45,680 --> 01:28:47,440 Tadzio! 798 01:28:53,960 --> 01:28:57,640 "I'm becoming more and more invisible. 799 01:28:57,680 --> 01:29:00,520 "I've given away all I ever had. 800 01:29:03,360 --> 01:29:05,560 "But I'm not going to die. 801 01:29:08,440 --> 01:29:11,240 "What remains: a door. 802 01:29:12,720 --> 01:29:16,680 "I don't die, I just disappear. 803 01:29:17,960 --> 01:29:21,000 "Maybe, I'll reawaken. 804 01:29:22,520 --> 01:29:26,680 "Then I will return to look for you." 64209

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